Second Stone #14 - Jan/Feb 1991

Second Stone #14 - Jan/Feb 1991

14

1991

Jan/Feb 1991

THE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER FOR GAY AND LESBIAN CHRISTIANS $2.25
_COND TONE '8000 Reade rs Across The USA · ISSUE#14l
·o~t,CI.~, ; Brought new understanding to campus
J- ~:. ·.· _,--::-.. ,:.-:;,._ . _;;,:"' ·, ·, : · - .< .. .... -.. . •... .. " . ..
i~r•.::v:ir:tr~~; took was lot "
· ~bmtione to initia t~ some• °'" ':(tfu6:g," Ca,rcia says, "};ven
i ' :)"though I'm go.ne now, I
@W ' .. •··,knpw th~: educa tio nal .pro•
J: \ ,.,'ckss'has c◊ntinued. I n,ade. a
he ,, .. 'sEE<:OVER STORY, Page 9
Archdiocese gets stiff fine
for evicting Dignity chapter
MINNEAPOLIS The
Archdiocese of St. Paul and
Minneapolis has been fined
because it e vi cted a chapter
of Dignit y /USA from the
Newman C ent e r at th e
University of Minnesota.
In the conclusion of a
three-year legal battle, a
three-member panel of the
Minneapolis Commission on
Ci v il Rights ordered the
archdiocese to pay a $15,000
ci v il fine to the city of
Minneapolis and $8,500 in
punitive d_a mages, plus
$10,850.3 8 in legal fees, to
Dignity/T win Cities.
"When y ou th ink about 32
peo p le agai n st an a busi ve,
patr iar chal instit b tion , it's · a
w onder fu l dec i si on," sai d
Emma Es.kelson, Dignity/
T w in Citie s Pr e sident and
fo rme r Ben edictine nun in a
in t er vie w wi t h Equal Time .
"The who le process wa s ve ry
p ainful to m e b ecau se 1 had
invested 25 ye a rs in th e
church, but lesbian and gay
Cat holics h ad to stand up
a nd say to the world th a t
w e 're good peopl e and w e're
not going to take it anymore."
In addition to th e civil fine,
the archdiocese was ordered
to "cease and de s ist from its
discriminatory co nduct "
a gainst Di.gnit y.
An archdioc e san official
said that the ruling probably
will be appealed to the state
Court of Appe als and, if
necessary, to the stat e
Supreme Cou r t.
Dignity member Brian
McNeil welcome d such a
challenge . "The p rospect of
a n appeal by the Archdioce se
do e sn't fri g hten - me, b ut
ex cit es m e, " he said. "In fact
I welcom e th e ap p ea l, in a
way, be cause it will give
Dignity a g reat au d ience for
telling our st ory."
Dignit y /US A president Pat
Ro c he sa id of th e a c ti on,
"Thi s s or t of sp i ri tua l
violence tha t the church has
con d on ed ca n lead others to
conclude th a t it' s oka y to
ki ck Lesbians a n d gay people
SEE DI GNITY, Page 9
Lesbian booted from church;
files damages suit
LINCOLN, Neb . - A lesbian
woman who was publicl y
denounced as immor a l in front
. of a congregation of more th an
1,000 members is seeking
damages from the Indian
Hills Community Church .
Beth H a ld w a s seeing a
church counselor who
revealed to church elders
Hald's lesbi a ni sm . The
church bo a rd sub sequently
initiated di sciplinary procedures,
claiming that
handling cases of unrepentant
a nd deliber a te sin is a key
belief of the church . Hald
was excommunicated by
church pastor Gil Ru gh.
- Lincoln Star
SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ONE YEAR ONLY $13.00!
BOX 8340 • NEW ORLEANS, LA 70182
BULK RATE
U.S. POSTAGE
PA ID
NEW ORLEANS, LA
PERMIT No. 511
Con1mentary · ·- - -
A plea for a less hasty response
Just say no to the new age?
By Catherine Groves
Editor,
Christian •New Age Quarterly
My pastor loves to tell the story
of a Bible camp counselor, who asked
a :roomful of eager faces, "How many
of you believe everything the Bible
s~ys is true?" All hands shot up into
the air. "Good! Now how many of
you have read the Bible cover to
cover?"
- Well, we all can guess that not a
hand braved up at that one! And the
story may make us chuckle, because
\,\'e recognize that human tendency to
b:oast our belief in one thing or
another before · we really know what
t~at belief requires of us ... or even is.
·Jn like manner, Nick Warner's cover
s(ory in the November /December
isJ;ue , "New Age Has Firm Foothold
in Gay /Lesbian Community" strikes
":Dear Second Stone,
vision and . Christianity are not
antithetical, especially in view of
the shared import of spiritual values
over worldly concerns. Perhaps Rev.
Warner's alarm, that New Age
ideology "appears to be quite
compatible with Christian
teachings," points to the common
ground he overlooked. Simply put,
both Christians and New Agers
recongnize that life's meaning is not
found in the trivial pursuits of this
world, but is located in the spiritual ·
truths.
That's not to say that Christians
and New Agers do not articulate
these truths differently. They do.
And some of these differences can be
irreconcilable, especially depending
on one's denominational persuasion or
the extremes of the New Age range in
question.
But the concern that New Age
teachings may be somehow catching
: Recently I've noticed a trend towards articles by those who
:attempt to justify their own unchristian lifestyles and unbiblical
.:beliefs through human rationalizations and corruption of the
truths of God's Word. I am especially disturbed by the two
-classifieds for the "Christian" New Age Quarterly and Emerge!
:surely you do not accept the New Age nor "Christian" Science as
truly Christian?!
I realize that a publication like The Second Stone must be
open to variations in Christian doctrines, but I know just as well
that Christians have to draw the line somewhere ...
me as the same theme in reverse. As
Christians we are often quick to "just
say no" to the New Age movement
without fully understanding what it
is.
Appearing in the same issue,
Christian•New Age Quarter/y's ad
voiced a quiet statemwt that there
might be another way to approach
fhis topic. Perhaps there is reason
for Christians and New Agers to
tpgether explore their differences
and their similarities, for we might
have something to learn from and
about one another.
: But, in .this case, a quiet statement is
t'.)ot enough. And as editor of
<:;hristian •New Age Quarterly, I
~ense it is, in a way, my
responsibility to clarify some of the
points Rev. W;irner raised.
: Contrary to the quoted claim of
P<:n,iglas _Groothuis, the New Age
A Second Stone Reader
Christians unawares is obviously not
a problem caused by the New Age
movement's ·existence. The accountability
for knowing one's Christian
faith enough to discern what is
Christian and what is not - and this
applies whether we're talking about
the New Age movement or the
American Dream or any paradigm -
rests squarely on the shoulders of the
Christian. 1 agree with Warner; we
do live in a pluralistic society. And
We welcome you to share your views,
opinions, feelings and experiences
with our readers. Send letters to:
LETTERS, The Second Stone, P. 0.
Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
All letters must be original and
signed by the writer. Clearly
indicate if your name is to be
withheld. We reserve the right to
edit.
hence, lest our mature Christian
faith be no more responsible that
than of the cager beavers at Bible
camp, each Christian must know
what he or she believes.
And that, by the way, is one of the
most valuable benefits in an active
dialogue between Christians and
New Agers. One not only learns in
firsthand and ungarbled form what
New Agers believe, but too can view
one's own faith system more clearly
in the contrast. Or as Clarence
Thomson noted in "Revelation And
Response: What The New Age Can
Teach Us" (The Catholic World,
In This Issue
FEATURES
COVER STORY
MASK
COLUMNS
COMMENTARY
FAMILIES
CLOSER LOOK
1RAVEL
PARTING THOUGHT
DEPARTMENTS
'NEWS BRIEFS .
□
May/June 1989), "Let's grant obvious
New Age faults ... But let's also look
at what the New Age can teach us ...
we can become conscious of the
weakness or our paradigm - thanks to
the New Age."
True, Deuteronomy forbids .
consultation with mediums . But
Deuteronomy lists many other
prohibitions - from, "You shall not
wear cloth of two different kinds of
thread, wool and linen, woven
together" (Deut. 22:11) to "Life for
life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
SEE COMMENTARY, Page 15
□
Page9
Page 18 .
Page2
Page 10
Page 14
Page 19
Page 20
Page3
CHURCH & ORGANIZATION NEWS Page 11
CALENDAR Page 12
ESSAY .Page 13
'BOOKS Page 16
CLASSIFIEDS Page 20
SECOND STONE
Newsbriefs
No "Spouse Pass"
For Gay Amtrak
Employee
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A gay
employee of Amtrak has filed a
complaint that charges the U.S.
railroad transportation giant with
· discrimination in its rail pass benefit
program. The charge, filed on
December 12 with the District of
Columbia Office of Human Rights,
asserts that Amtrak discriminates
against its gay and lesbian employees
by denying them free passes for their
domestic partners whi)e providing
passes for spouses of heterosexual
married workers.
Richard Wilson, an 11-year veteran
of Amtrak, filed the complaint after
his request for a free rail pass for his
lover, David, was rejected last May.
Wilson says Amtrak's denial of
certain employee benefits on the basis
of sexual orientation of marital status
is a violation of D.C's Human Rights
Act.
"This is but one more example of the
· discrimination faced by non-traditional
families;" said Ivy Young,
director of the National Gay and
Lesbian Task Force Families Project.
"Employers must change their
,,
ISSN No. 1047-3971
SECOND STONE Newspaper is
published every other month by
Bailey Communications; P. 0. Box
8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
Copyright 1991 by Second Stone, a
registered trademark.
SUBSCRIPTIONS, U.S.A. $13.00
per year, six issues. _ Foreign subscribers
add $10 .00 for postage. All
payments U.S. currency only.
ADVERTISJNG, For display
advertising information call
(504)899-4014 or write to: Box
, 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
EDITORIAL, send letters, calendar
announcements, and church/organization
news lo (Department title)
Second Stone, P. 0. Box 8340, New
Orleans, LA 70i 82. Manuscripts to
be returned· should be accompanied by
a stamped, self addressed envelope .
SECOND STONE, an ecumenical
Christian newspaper committed lo
informing the gay and lesbian community.
PUBLISHER/EDITOR: ·Jim Bailey
CONTRIBUTORS: Rev Bruce Roller,
Rev Sylvia Pennington,
. Cynthia Marquard, Danni Munson, ·
Dr. Martin Fowler, David Rickey,
Jim Roche,
Michael Blankenship, Dan Grippo,
Dr. Lcuie Crew, John-Michael Olexy,
Dr. Buddy Truluck, Chris Glaser,
Rev. Gail A. Van Buren.
Kevin Gcpford
□·
policies to match the reality of
family life ih this country. It's
important that Lesbians and gay men
take a stand, be visible and challenge
the disparities they face every day
oh the job."
Lesbian Reporter
Files Suit Against
UPI, Christian
Broadcaster
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A lesbian
reporter has filed a groundbreaking
$12.5 million lawsuit in federal court
charging ·United Press International,
her former employer, · with job
discrimination and a Wisconsin radio
.talk show host and a Christian radio
network with harassment and
invasion of privacy.
Julie Brienza had worked for UPI
for three years when she was
dismissed from the wire service after
radio talk show host Vic Eliason and
his Wisconsin Voice of Christian
Youth complained to UPI
management that Brienza had
misused the . company's telephone
lines and message se"rvices while
writing a freelance story for The
Washington Blade, a gay newspaper.
-Baltimore Alternative
Methodist Panel
Considers Revising
Church Policy
Toward Gays
SAN FRANCISCO - Members of a
national Methodist panel say most
clergy and laity testifying at public
hearings on homosexuality want to
soften the denomination's stand that
the practice of homosexuality is
incompatible with Christian tea·ching.
"Many of the people who testified
have experienced the oppressive
nature of the church," said Kevin
Higgs, an Alabama youth minister
and member of the United Methodist
Church's Committe ·e to Study .
Homosexuality.
Members of the panel held a three
day meeting in late November in San
Francisco, one of a series of meetings
being held throughout the nation.
Although some committee members
said that support of easing the
church's stand is overwhelming,
others questioned whether those who
testified at hearings reflected the
opinions in the pews. They cited a
recent survey of Methodists showing
that 80 percent support the current
policy. ·
-AssQciated Press .
Subscribe
Today.
And You'll Never Be Without
A Friend For Your Journey.
Join thousands of lesbians and gay men
who've embarked on an inward journey.
Through the pages of The Second Stone, an
ecumenical Christian newsmagazine, you'll be
challenged, inspired, angered and encouraged.
Meet brave men and women who are confronting
social injustice and religious bigptry.
Explore family and relationship issues. Enjoy
our engaging features and columns, newsbriefs
and book reviews. Our national calendar puts
you in touch with life-changing retreats, com;
munity-building conferences, and the nicest
'people you'll ever meet!
The Second Stone will inspire you, keep you
informed, and put you in touch.
.•.Y . ES , ...N.~. ..~:.. .:~ .:..:~. :..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::. Begin my subscription to Address ............................................................ ...... l~c::.~~l::r::.:~.•10.! 0 City, State& Zip. ......................................... . ....
;[ ) Two years (12 .i .. uea) for $25,O(j '.en.dchll~~'ftlll~plail~lorfflllling:I JPINlit~Hwek$tor~ot ·'f'N'_,.
.. ( ] Three yeara (18 iuues) for $36.00 : iUUe. 1Pt..m11~1~ ..:leSi IO.O)per,-.b~. u.sc. vmincyf1•!1.,
Mail To: SECOND STONE, Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182
THANK YOU
for your subscription!
Januar:Y/February 1991 •
Newsbriefs . •
Auburn Shuns
Catholic Scholar
Charles · Curran has held several
visiting professorships since he was
fired from the Catholic University in
Washington, D.C. Curran challenged
papal decrees on contraception,
abortion, ·and homosexuality. He lost
his job after the Vatican ruled him
unfit to teach.
Curran thoug-ht he had been offered
Auburn University's chair as an
eminent scholar of religion. Auburn
President James Martin quashed the
tenured position offer, but Curran
accepted the one-year stay as a
visiting professor.
-Birmingham • News/Alabama Forum
Gay Virginia
Minister Gives
Up· Pastorate
RICHMOND, Va. - The interim
minister at Tuckahow Presbyterian '
Church said he was forced to resign
his pastorate and give up his
ordination because he was gay.
The -Rev. Donald R. Martin, who
had been at the church for about
eight rrionths, said his sexual
orientation became known to the
Chief executive · of area Presbyterians,
the Rev. William S. Morris,
who told Martin io resign, which he
did during services on Sunday,
November 25,
"I was told by the executive
presbyter to take the steps to
terminate my employment," Martin
said .
-Associated Press
MCC San Francisco
Firebombed
Molotov cocktails were thrown
through windows of the sanctuary of
· MCC San Francisco late during the
evening of November 16. Fast action
by a person who had heard the glass
breaking and a quick resporise from
the fire department limited the
property damage and prevented the
fire from destroying the church and
spreading to other buildings. A
spokesperson for the city's arson
investigation unit said nooneclaimed
responsibilify for the bombing and
that no threats had been made prior
to the incident. Police have no
suspects or motives.
Every Day Is
Coming Out Day!
DlTH HARING lfCOD LOGO
T-SHIRTS $16.00
100% ·COTION. 4-COLOR LOCO
ON WHTIE M. L. XL. XXL
.$30.00
100% COTION, 4-COLOR LOGO
ON WHITE M, L. XL
POSTERS $111.00
24"X28" . 4-COLOR LOGO
GREETll'fG CARDS ~ 1.l!O
S"X7'.'. 4.COLOR t.000 ,
Bu.NK.INSIOE
BU'ITONS $ 1.00
l r/2~ SQUARE, B/W
STICKERS $ .OIi
rx:,t B/W. PURPLE
On sale at retail outlets around the country or simply order by mail I
Pleue •end me: ,
_ T-sHIRTS, me(s) \ __
_ SWEATSBIRTS, llae(a) __ . _
'-'--POSTEllS
_GREETl!fG CARDS
_ BU'ITOIIS
. _;,__&nCKBRS --•llalldllq: ' $3.00 for ftrsl shirt . or sweat or poster:,
$ 1.00 foT each shirt 01" sweat after the first
$1,00 for buttons, stickers. or cards
O $16 .00 each. ......................... $ _
O $30.00 each •.••... ,., ..•.•.•.•....... $ _
O $111.00 ea!'h. ........... , ............. $ _
0 $ l.llO each. ....... _____ $ _
o $ 1.00 each. ........ ............... .. $ _
o $ .05 each. ... ............ .. ; ....... $ _ .
Sub-totu $ _ . _
Shlpp!DC
Total
$ __
$ __
~E·~---- ---,~1kR:_E-:_S-S_-.Z-I_P:-:-:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.=
~H~~t:'.:.=======-_::-:::'-:_::"--:"_:_-:_: -__-;-E_XM_P-_.- :-r- a _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _- _
SICNATURE __ ~------~-~-
70I' more laforma.doct, pleat• write or cd: Nlliload Comtnc01 d: Dq.
P.O. Boa 8349, Santa re, ~ ~. 50CS-982-2558 or 1~
Groups May Rally
For MLK Holiday
In Arizona
Arizona voter's failure to recognize
the birthday of Martin Luther King,
Jr. as a state holiday is causing
concern for the Universal Fellowship
of Metropolitan Community Churches
and the Epis~opal Church (USA).
Both church bodies will be gathering
for national conferences in Phoenix
this year . UFMCC Rev. Elder Don
Eastman said that his church was
reviewing options in protesting the
action, which may include
participating with the Episcopal
Church in a rally at the State House
in which South African Bishop
Desmond Tutu is scheduled to appear.
Healy Regrets
Kicking Dignity Out
Former Georgetown President .. Father
Timothy Healy, now president of the
New York Public Library, said he
regrets the decision he made to
remove Dignity/Washington from
-Georgetown in 1987. Healy did so
under orders of Cardinal James
Hickey of Washington, discontinuing
weekly Masses held there for 15
years. "For the first time in rriy life
as a priest, I felt what I was doing at
that altar was obscene ... I wondered
what had happened to my church,"
Healy said during a lecture at New
York's Fordham University School of
Law.
-Dignity/USA
AF A Calls For
K-Mart ·Boycott
The Tupelo, Mississippi-based
American Family Association called
for a boycott of K-Mart stores in a
recent issue of its newsletter, the AF A
Journal.
K-Mart owns the Waldenbooks
chain, which the AFA said recently
added "homosexual porn" to its stock.
Both gay and Christian activists
have previously credited the AFA
with successful manipulation of
advertisers and, in one instance, with
the cancellation of a rerun of an
episode of thirtysomething that
showed two gay men in bed together.
~Out ·
Catholic Bishops:
"Homosexuality Not
Lifelong Learning" that homosexuality
"is not freely chosen" and
therefore, "is not sinful," however
the church still disapproves of
"physical expression of homosexuality.
-The Sentinel
Florida Bishop
Wants Canon Law
Against Gay/
Lesbian Ordination
Episcopal Bishop John Howe of
Central Florida has announced his
intention to take the issue of
ordaining Gays and Lesbians to this
year's churchwide General
Convention.
The bishop plans to submit a
resolution to turn a 1979 General
Convention resolution . declaring that
it is "not appropriate for this church
to ordain a practicing homosexual"
into a canon law of the church.
-Episcopal News Service
Gay Chorus
Dropped From
AIDS Benefit
An Episcopal church in Orlando
canceled plans to allow its' cathedral
to be used for an AIDS benefit because
one o( the groups scheduled to
perform was a gay chorus.
"l don't believe it's proper at this
time for a homosexual group to
promote its own cause by offering
itself to benefit AIDS," said Harry
Sherman, dean of the Cathedral
Church of St. Luke.
-Washington Blade
Students: Professor
Uses Classroom As
Personal Pulpit
CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. - An Austin
Peay State University professor uses
his classroom as a pulpit to preach
ag;1inst homosexuality and promote
his own religious beliefs, some
students say.
A handout from a psychology course
taught by John D. Martin reads:
"Plagues are sent from God because of
evil. AIDS is a plague sent from God
because of homosexuality. Homosexuality
is evil."
Martin admitted he has little Freely Chosen" patience for those who disagree with
U.S.· Catholic Bishops have stated in him and said his detractors represent
a 100-page document · entitled a minority of "sick, immoral
"Human Sexuality - A Catholic students."
Perspective for Education ~ncl. _ _ ~Associated Press
SECOND STONE
Newsbriefs
Protest Noisy But
Peaceful At
St. Patrick's
NEW YORK - Hundreds of
demonstrators opposed to the
Catholic Church's stand on abortion
and AIDS education protested outside
St. Patrick's Cathedral, but obeyed a
court order not to disrupt Mass.
The December 9 rowdy but peaceful
demonstration came a year after the
pandemonium in which 113 activists
were arrested.
-Associated Press
New Book
Speculates Martin
. Lμther King's
Sexuality
Secret tapes made by the FBI in 1964
"might lead to the conclusion" that
MarHn . Luther King Jr. and his
deputy, Ralph D. Abernathy, had a
gay relationship, a new book alleges.
The book, Breaking Barriers, a
memoir by veteran columnist . Carl T.
Rowan, recounts a conversation
Rowan had with the late Rep. John J.
Rooney (D-N.Y.), the same year the
tapes were made.
Long-time FBI director J. Edgar
Hoover, himself said to be gay, had
told Rooney that the FBI had "at
least 15 reels of tape" about sexual
"entertainment" and conversations
between King and Abernathy that
might lead to the conclusion that
there was a gay relationship between
the two ministers.
-BLK Magazine
Photography
·Exhibit Explores
AIDS Experience
Images From The Front: Photography
Challenging AIDS is on exhibit
through January 31 at the Lesbian
and Gay Community Services Center
National Museum of .Lesbian and Gay
History, 208 West 13th Street, in
New York City. The exhibition of
photographs and works of related
media seeks to explore the scourge of
AIDS refracted through the lens of
the photographic artist.
Showcasing a wide array of
photographic styles and artistic
points of view, the exhibition
includes works of photojournalism,
portraiture, abstract imagery and
mixed media. The experiences of
anger, confrontation, desperation ,
compassion, hope, loss and love are
all eloquently evoked through thE
work of the artists.
Ohio Priest Forced
From Parish
Father Robert Apking, an openly gay
priest living with AIDS, who was
forced to leave St. Christopher
Parish, Vandalia, Ohio, said
members of the parish raised
objections to his public discussion of
his sexual orientation and health.
He resigned as pastor of Corpus
Christi, Dayton, in 1988, retiring in
good standing and was invited to
Vandalia to help as an assistant.
Apking apparently ignited the
protest by a newspaper interview .
Following his departure from St.
Christopher, Apking praised
Archbishop Daniel Pilarczyk and
the. diocesan personnel office for their
sensitive handling of the situation
and awaits another .assignment.
-Dignity/USA
Activists Leaflet
Gay 'Cure' Program
Members of the Pittsburgh activist
groups Cry Out!/ ACT UP passed out
informational leaflets in that city to
pedestrians and individuals entering
a church to attend a program
apparently designed to "cure"
homosexuality .
"Love yourself for who you are, not
what society tells you to be," read one
of two leaflets, which included
names and telephone numbers of local
organizations that deal with gay,
lesbian and bisexual issues, as well as
youth concerns.
The Covenant Church had billed
the program, called Dunamis, as
"healing for individuals that have
experienced any type of sexual
brokenness." The church was
charging participants $110.
-Pittsburgh's Out
Facility To Be
Named In Honor Of
Rev. Carl Bean
The Los Angeles AIDS Healthcare
Foundation has announced that its
South Central hospice facility will
be named in honor of Rev. Carl Bean,
the founder of the Minority AIDS
Project, Unity Fellowship Church
and Dignity House . Bean is now
widely regarded as one of
African-America's most articulate
advocates on behalf of people of color
with AIDS. The Carl Bean AIDS
Center will be located in the West
Adams district of South Central Los
Angeles .
-BLK Magazine
Brooklyn Bishop
Reaffirms Stand
On Dignity
Bishop Thomas Daily has said that
a chapter of Dignity /USA has no
official status in hls diocese and will
not gain it . "I believe that
homosexuals must not be ordained .
Homosexuality is a basic disorder,
and the candidate for priesthood
should not be involved in any kind of
basic disorder ." Daily, former bishop
of Palm Beach, Florida, also said
"Safe sex is chaste sex ... People who
use condoms are not acting in a truly
human fashion ... to be in control of
their animal nature. To give in to
passion is wrong and contrary to what
really makes us human beings.
People do not ·have to have sex.
People can be continent. People can be
pure . People can be chaste."
-Dignity / USA
Gay/Lesbian 1991
Almanac Available
"Preserve the Past; Prepare for the
Future" is the theme of The Gay &
Lesbian Almanac and Events of 1991,
just out from Envoy Enterprises. In
addition to a complete review of
1990, which includes developments
□ in education, law, the medfa,
religion, politics, women and
minority concerns, a.nd many other
areas, the Almanac also contains a
complete calendar of events
scheduled for 1991. The Almanac is
available for $9 .95 from local
bookstores or through the publisher,
Envoy Enterprises, 740 N. Rush St.,
Suite 609, Chicago, IL 60611.
Collective Seeks
Work By Women
The Conditions Collective is
accepting submissions for an
anthology of new writing by women
on the topic of women and censorship,
to be published by Cleis Press . The
collective will consider poetry,
fiction, analytical essays, novel
excerpts, interviews, drama, journal
entries, correspondence excerpts, and
translations on this topic . How does
censorship relate to the issues of race,
class, age; relationships, sexuality,
women in prison, women with .
AIDS/HIV, and women 's and lesbian
movements?
Submissions (typed, double-spaced,
up to fifteen pages) may be sent (with
an SASE) before June 1, 1991 to:
Conditions, 247 Liberty Ave., Jersey
City, NJ 07307.
OURWOPJD
The International Gay Travel Magazine
Month by month, we invite you to . explore the exciting world of
travel available to gay men and lesbians. Each month we help you to
discover the multitude of interesting hotels, inns and resorts that
welcome the gay traveler.
Enjoy articles and color photos of a
romantic hotel in Spain , a secluded retreat
in Hawaii, a manor house in the English
countryside, a Greek pension overlooking
the ·sea, a rustic resort in Colorado, and
more -all catering to our lifestyle! ·
Plus, every month, regular departments
provide you with valuable information · on
gay events and festivals, travel updates
and tips, interviews, and the latest gay
trips and tour-.sail the Caribbean on a
private yacht, join an expedition to Nepal,
cruise the Mediterranean on a luxury _liner
or fly to Sydney for the Gay Mard! Gras.
~---- - ---- Whatever you're looking for, let , OUR
WORLD be your ticket to adventure. 1 · :
1 year (12 colorful issues) only $ 44 (in the USA) - US$ 52
(Worldwide) . First issue mails in 4-6 weeks in plain sealed envelope.
Sample copy US$ 5.
Mail To: Our World Publishing
1104 North Nova Road, Suite 251
Daytona Beach, Florida 32117 USA
TEL: (904) 441-5367
January/February 1991
'In the past, the achievements, triumphs, and defeats of gay
m.en and lesbians were not only hidden from history, most were
lost for all time. This must never happen again."-Danni
Munson, editor, The Gay & Lesbian Almanac and Events of 1991.
A CHRONICLE OF CURRENT - ·---- _-::- .. ·c :: .. =:·=- 4
I TIIE liAl " & L E SBIAN i '
.i ALMANAC I'll.
GAY/LESBIAN HISTORY
This vo lume records for history:
'"" EVENT s Of
--=--1991 =
• The rise of a gay/lesbian movement in Eastern
Europe
• Celebration 90: Gay Games III and C ultural
Festival
• The latest research and statistics on AIDS
• The fight to end military discrimination against
gays and lesbians
• The controversial practice of o uting
• The progress and setbacks in re ligion
A Colendar of Upcoming Events
Hundreds of 1991 gay/lesbian events from
cruises to concerts, from rodeos to music
festivals, and much more. Plus listings of
birthdays of falllous gays & lesbians.
. Availbable at local bookstores or from the publisher
Send 9.95 plus $2.00 postage and handling to:
ENVOY ENTERPRISES
740 N. Rush St. Suite 609
Chicago IL 60611
E mpathy is a journal that deserves our
support for the origina l a~d creative work it
does in the lnteres~ of truth and justice .
. • •. - .+- Rev .. Malcolm Boyd, author of 23 books
· including Are Y.ou Running with Me,]esus?,
Take Of/the Masks, and Gay Priest
E mpathy provides a. much-needed and
welcomed co mmunication link for persons
involved in education abo ut homophobia. At its
best it will k eep us informed and in touch,
supported and cha llenged, excited and proud.
ff- Brian M c Naught, lec1urcr aQd author of On
Being Gay: Thoughts on Famiiy, Faith, and love
Empathy
v1n
Interdisciplinary
Journal
for Persons
Working to
End Oppression
on the Basis of
Sexual Identity
PUBLISHED 1W1CE A YEAR, EMPATHY INCLUDES
SCHOU.R.LY ESSAYS, PROSE AND POETRY, PRACTITIONER
ARTICLES, ANECDOTAL ESSAYS,. AND RESEARCH REPORTS
AS WEL,L AS ANNOTATED BIBUOGR.Af>HIES FOR
RESOURCE MATERIALS, RECENT RESEARCH AND BOOKS.
THE JOURNAL SERVES PEOPLE WORKIN ,G IN EDUCATl?N,
COUNSELING, HEALTH CARE, SOCIAL WORK,
COMMUNl1Y ACTIVISM, AND THE MINISTRY
NATIONAJ.LY _AND INTERNATIO NALLY.
Oney.ear (2 issues) individual subscription
s10 (s15 institutional)
Make checks payable to Gay and Lesbian Advo cacy
Resea rch Project (GLARP) arid mail to:
. Empathy, PO Box 5085, Columbia, SC 29250.
Unitarian Universalist Association
publishes Welcoming Congregation
Program Manual
The Un i tarian Universalist
Association's Office of Lesbian and
Gay Concerns has published The
Welcoming Congregation Program
Mqnual , a resource designed to help
congregations of all denominations
interested in becoming more affirming
and welcoming of gay, lesbian and
bisexual persons. Offering a wide
variety of background material,
program ideas and workshops, the
manual is the most .extensive resource
available to congregations striving to
be more inclusive.
The backbone of the -program
manual is a ten-session adult Study
Guide and accompanying readings.
The sessions are designed to ·help
adults examine their attitudes,
beliefs, experiences, and emotions
about persons of a different sexual
orientation. It is a positive, nonjudgmental
curriculum that challenges
its participants to gain more
inclusive perspectives.
The Office of Lesbian and Gay
Concerns has been contacted by more
than 170 congregations interested in
' using the program, and it expects
participation to increase within the
next 18-24 months as congregations
hear feedback from those already
working with the program.
Adopted at the UUA's 1989 General
Assembly, The Welcoming Congregation
Program affirms the
Association's commitment to the
dignity and rights of gay, lesb ian and
bisexual persons and to their full
inclusion in the denomination. As its
overriding mission, the UUA seeks to
"affirm and promote the inherent
worth and dignity of every person."
For more information on The
Welcoming Congregation Program,
contact the -Rev. Scott Alexander,
Director of the Office of Lesbian and
Gay Concerns, Unitarian Universalist
Association, Boston, MA 02108,
(617)742-2100.
Essence magazine won't run ad
for black gay/lesbian function
WASHINGTON, D.C. The
National Gay and Lesbian Tas k Force
has joined other organizations around
the country in criticizing the refusal
of Essence Mngazine to honor its
advertising contract with the Black
Gay and Lesbian Leadership Forum.
"This is a breach of contract. This is
discriminatory. This type of action
hurts the African American
community," said Ruth Waters,
Co-chair of the organization,
explaining why black Gays and
Lesbians have filed suit through the
New York Human Rights Commission
against Essence Communications.
The organization received notice
from Essence last ·November stating
the magazine would not run an ad
, "'I
lifii+J Evangelicals
G' 'I(/ loge/her tna.
BIBLE STIJf1( GROUPS
. SOCIALS • WORKSHOPS • RETREATS
Hiv I AIDS SUPPORT GROUP
PASTORAL CARE & COUNSELING
FOR Gay & Lesbian Christians
In Southern California ... since 1979
Suite 109-Box 16
7985 Santa Monica Boulevard
West Hollywood. CA 90046
'" 213/656-8570 ,
from the group, even though they
had already contracted and paid for
the insert. The ad was a "visibility"
ad which included a variety of
photos and an appeal for Lesbians
and · Gays to attend BGLLF's fourth
annual conference in Los Angeles
February 9-18, 1991.
"This action by Essence Magazine's
executive offi c er, Ed Lewis, is raw
hypocrisy and blatantly homo phobic,"
said Ivy Young, Families
Project Director for the National Gay
and Lesbian Task Force. "If you pick
up a copy of Essence magazine today
you will find advertisements for
Coca-Cola, a company ·many
African-Americans are boycotting
because of its on-going tics to
apartheid . Why hasn't Mr. Lewis
pulled those ads?"
Deborah Johnson, BGLLF's New
York spokesperson said that "it's too
late for us to place the ad elsewhere
even if we had the money to re-design
it. Fewer black people will get wo rd
about the world's largest a nnual
black conference for Lesbian s and
Gays . This conference will address
issues vital to the black community
such as AIDS, women's health
strategies, and leadership development
."
For information on the conference,
contact BGLLF, 3924 W. Sunset Blvd .,
- .. - . _ ~ , Suite #5, Los Angeles, CA 90029.
:: 1•~ - --- ----- --------- --- -S-E_C_O_N_D_S_ T_O_N_E~ - -- - -------------- ---
.Leaders plan :cooperatiot1:-iri
. gay/lesbian_m inistries . · '' A first-time gathering of leaders of
programs advocating inclusiveness for
gay, lesbian, an d bisexual persons
within mainstream religious denominations
took place in late October in
Chicago. The programs represented
were More Light (Presbyterian
Church, USA); Open and Affirming
(United Church of Christ),
Reconciling Congregation (United
Methodist), Reconciled-in-Christ
(Lutheran), and Welcoming Congregation
(Unitarian Universalist
Association). The five programs
represent a grass roots movement
which flas led more than 200
congregations and other church groups
to declare their welcome to and
affirmation of all people, regardless
of sexual orientation. -Of the five
programs, only two - the Open and
Affirming and the Welcoming
Congregation Program are
recognized and supported by their
official denominations.
common print and video educational
materials for congregational studies;
designation of a nationwide inter- ·
denominational "Reconciling Day of
Worship;" ecumenical collaboration
in the publication of Open Hands, the
Reconciling Congregation Program's
magazine of resources for ministry ;
and a future national assembly of all
·local churches that officially
·welcome Lesbians and gay men.
"In our meeting together this :.
weekend we discovered how much we
have in common across denominations,"
said Rose Smith, former
Reconciled-in-Christ Program
Director. "Each of us has seen the
reluctance of congtega tions and
church leaders to address issues
related to Lesbians and gay men. At
the ·same time, we have all witness .ed
the transformation of individual and
congregational lives through the
journey which led to their
.Great
Respon~e!
"This is the fastest•growing and
·most vital local church movement in
the church today;" said Mark
Bowman, coordinator of the
Reconciling Congregation Program.
"These 200 congregations have taken
steps far beyond what their
denominations as a whole have been
willing to do. They are inviting ,
other congregations to affirm their
ministry with gay, lesbian, and
bisexual persons and are challenging
the larger church to be faithful to the
Gospel mandate to reach out . to all
persons ." · ·
The leaders identified several
areas for cooperation · and ' mutual ·
support including: development of
. declaration of openness."
The program leaders agreed to meet
again in November, 1991, to assess
their progress and to plan additional
cooperative efforts.
For information on programs contact:
More Light, c/o Jim Anderson, P.O.
Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903.
Open and Affirming, c/o Ann Day,
P.O .. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520.
Reconciled-in°Christ, c/o Brian
Knittel, 2800 Buena Vista Way,
Berkeley, CA 94708. Reconciling
Congregation, c/o Mark Bowman,
P.O . .Box 23636, Washington, DC
20024. Welcoming Congregation, c/o
Scott Anderson, 25 Beacon Street,
Boston, MA 02108,
Literary Award Nominations Open
Lambda Book Report has opened
nominations for the Third . Annual
Lambda · Literary Awards. The
awards, recognizing excellence in gay
and lesbian writing and publishing,
will be presented during a gala
banquet inNew York City on Friday,
May 31, 1991, during the American
Booksellers Association Convention.
The public is invited to nominate
their favorite gay and lesbian books
· of 1990 in 18 categories. Books must
have a 1990. copyright date in order
to _be eligible. Nominating ballots
must be returned 'to Lambda Book
Report offices by February 15. Five
finalists in each category will be
announced nationally on March 1.
Then 90 judges from across the
"The field of gay and lesbian country, representing a .broad ·
publishing is continuing • to grow and cross 0 section of the entire lesbian and ·
diversify as we get into the 1990s,'' gay literary community, will select a
said Jane · :Troxell, · editor of the single . book in each · category from
sponsoring publication. ''The Lambda among the . finalists.
. _Literary .Awards program, with its ' "':'.' . . . . . .
·ever-increasing numbe r of categories For.f1;1r\her information or to req1.1est
,, ap.dawardsptes~nteg,isdesigned "4i ' a• ~a .llot, contact l ambda _ Book
t~flect :the adv.ances, :.made by ' ovr . ~~ptf.rt., 1625''.Cormec H~u! ;Aven ,1,e1,
~,,},,~II.~l ':~itY:,4.Wi~g.th e J 9.80's and · to _· ,,.~ ;·,~a ~~Jn&.tqn; _Pf , _2(1()(),19~~:p1r0
~ : i ]?rCJll\O~t; the . well "\illing, of g!IY· iii}?";,<~~}! : Hw;;. aR)J~~~ 1:1<ne at' ~?~2) .
,;';,:}~sl?ianlite rt ~re-in ' th e:newdecade : · . 4,, 62-~:24. >'.~.7' , > ~ · · ,, ·
· \;; ..;..;{ ·~, .; ··•,1¥f: ·' • . ,. • ·, ' --· -"~ ~., • -.. '
i;-1.;,1.;i,>,., ' ..,.. .; ;, ;,·,./.'.,.,· .:. : .,,.:· · ·~·\:;:,,: ;{:;i~n·~a~¥l''!Feb' ;4j; h i~~<1 ·• (~f;:'.:,::~j83~]-~·~:,~ ~~;-:~L~~-~~·- Ii,;.~~1 ·;·,)~:~~ :-,;;~2~i;~.:~~-. .L _,,. ', .
'' That's what a Second Stone advertiser
told us recently.
And we hear that more and more these days. That's because
Second Stone reaches readers where many other gay and
lesbian publications can't. Like public and university libraries .
We don't carry advertising or editorial content that would put
us behind the counter. We're up front - in plain sight!
For businesses offering products and services
to the national gay and lesbian community,
we're an exciting new marketing
approach!
Reach new customers in every state acro~s the USA.
Second Stone offers a variety of in.column ad sizes with frequency
discounts. We offer spot and full color. We'll lay out
your ad at no charge and we'll get it right - we'll send you a
proof to make sure. Second Stone will also inse~ your
brochure, flier or catalog in our mailing. ·:
It doesn't cost as much as you think.
You can reach a paid coast to coast readership for about· what ·
you'd pay to advertise in one local free distribution gay newspaper.
And ... to mail your insert in Second Stone costs. ·
less than mailing it. yourself!
You won't know till you try it.
The potential sales you lose while you're thinking about advertising
cannot be recaptured. If you're thinking you've paid too
much for advertising that hasn't worked ... you're probably righi!
But you haven't tried Second Stone. ·
·SECOND STONE
.You'll he pleasedw ith there sults.
Call l-504a899-40J4 for advertising assistance.
-~-
sroNEWAt.t. Rtors
Jde
CLASSIFIE
First Ten Words
FREE!
I -
Business or personal - The Second Stone
classifieds really work! Please see the order
form on the classified page. Each additional
word, 35¢. 20 word minimum.
P-FLAG begins program
to fight youth suicide
Right 0 wing religious and political
' leaders who wave the banner of
· ''traditional family values" are a
; major impediment to overcoming the
j teen suicide problem, according to a
; parent-church-educator coalition
l that announced a prevention program
; focused on gay and lesbian youth.
' The project, "Respect All Youth," is
, being undertaken by the Federation of
: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and
· Gays (P-FLAG), with financial
assistance from the United Thank
Offering Fund of the Episcopal
Church and the Pride Foundation of
Seattle .
The project is designed to develop
and furnish training materials to
youth workers, according to Paulette
Goodman , President of P-FLAG. ·
. Government studies show that
lesbian and gay teenagers are three
, times as likely to attempt suicide as
other young people, primarily
because of the stigma society places
on them. Nevertheless, California
Republican Congressman William
Dannemeyer recently prevailed upon
Louis Sullivan, Secretary of the U.S.
Department of Health and Human ·
Services, to disavow the studies, and
the important information contained
therein, in the interest of
"traditional family values."
P-FLAG volunteer Mary Griffith, a
Northern California mother . of four,
recalled that her gay son, at her
urging, resorted to prayer and
"reparative" therapy with religious
counselors in the v.ain attempt to
become heterosexual. At the age of
20, convinced that he was evil in the
eyes of God, he threw himself off an
overpass and into the path of an
on-coming semi-truck.
His suicide would not have
happened, his mother is now
convinced, if there had been programs
at school arid elsewhere that "could
have offset what he was told by me
at home and by others in our church ."
Her goal, she said, is to help other
parents avoid the tragedy that 'befell
her family, "because I have learned
in the most painful way possible that
ignorance, hatred, bigotry, and
prejudice lead to violence and
tragedy for Gays and Lesbians and
their families. And I have learned
that love, honesty, support, and
acceptance of diversity of God's
creation are the values that lead to
health, wholeness, and self-esteem
for our children ."
Conference set for youth workers
The · issues, lives, needs and
problems facing lesbian and gay
youth will be the focus of a one-day
conference, "A Matter of Justke and
Compassion: Serving Gay and
Lesbian Youth II" to be held in Des
Moines, Iowa on March 1.
As professionals who dei!I with
youth are becoming more and more
aware of the unmet needs of some of
their clients, many are recognizing
that they d.o not have adequate
resources to deal with issues
surrounding se~ua!'orientation .
These youths and their needs are at
risk for enhanced difficulties with
adolescence. Federal reports on youth
suicide in 1988 indicated that up to 30
percent of adolescf?nt suicides are
directly correlated to difficulties
adjusting to . a homosexual orientation,
In addition to these troubling ·
factors, gay and lesbian youths are at
increased risk for. substance abuse and
The second, in what organizers hope
will be an annual conference, is an
attempt to . give youth service
providers · an , intensive and
interactive educational fonim on the
needs of gay , lesbian and bisexual
yout _hs.
The conference's stated objectives
include discussing the status of
homosexuality in . today's society,
providing a forum in which
professionals can discuss personal and
professional issues in a safe
environment, helping participanis
examine society's myths and fears
relating to homosexuality, consider
innovative methods of education for
schools, religious organizations, and
community organizations and to learn
about further resources available for
professionals as well as for youth and
their families .
dropping out. The conference will be held at the
As helping professionals become Hotel Ft. Des Moines , CEUs will be
more acquainted with the facts available, For registration
surrounding gay, lesbian and bisexual information contact Claire Hueholt
youths they are becoming aware that at (515)279-2110 or (515)277-1454 or
10 percent o( those they serve fall . Susan Jellinger at (515)280-7004, Ext.
into this category. Many have felt . _ 125,_or write to: A Matter of Justice
underprepared by traditional and Compassion, 4211 Grand Ave.,
instruction to deal with these youths Des Moines, IA 50312.
effectively ,
, SECOND STONE
Cover Story
Gay SDA student speaks out on campus
COVER STORY,
From Pagel
significant impact."
Pacific Union
College, a Seventh-day
Adventist liberal-arts college
located in Napa
Valley, Calif., was the
training ground where
Garcia discovered his
leadership skills. As he
began to disclose his sexual
orientation on campus, he
used his skills to challenge
the popular myths about
gay and lesbian people.
By the end of his
fourth year at PUC Garcia
had helped establish a
hotline at the campus
church for students with
concerns .about their sexual
orientation . He was open on
campus about his sexual
orientation and addressed
numerous classes.
"I worked on
outreach through education,"
Garcia said. "I
confronted homophobia and
tried to educate people on
homosexuality from a
Christian perspective.
When I was done, I felt like
I left PUC respected :"
That summer he
moved to Washington state
to pursue a master's degree
in social work from Walla
Walla College, also a
Seventh-day Adventist
college.
"I went to Walla
Walla with the intention
of duplicating the program
at PUC, but I managed to go
far beyond that objective,
even though I only had one
year to do it," Garcia said.
the student newspaper,
the Collegian, was
the medium Garcia used to
come out to the student
body. Buried in the middle
of a letter to the editor he
wrote, "As a gay student on
an Adventist cam.pus, I
DIGNITY, From Page 1
around. This, in turn, can
lead to physical violence ."
The panel upheld the
church's constitutional right
to bar the group from using
the center's chapel for masses
and other religious services,
but said the portion of the
object to ... " The letter was
written in response to a
homophobic article that
appeared in -the previous
week's edition of the
Collegian.
This was not
Garcia's first gay activism
at Walla Walla College,
however. He had met
individually with the .
college president, the vice
president for student
administration and other ·
campus leaders.
Buried in the
middle of a
letter to the
editor he
wrote, "As a
gay student on
an Adventist
campus, I
object to ... "
"My experience
told me to get involved
with school activities and
with the faculty. This was
my primary objective,"
Garcia said. "I spent the
summer building my credibility.
In September they
knew I was Dan Garcia, and
only later did they learn I
was gay - after their
opinions of me were
already formed."
With Garcia's
input, an ad hoc committee
on gay issues was formed.
This committee, which met
regularly, included the vice
president of student administration,
the campus chaplain
and the department
head or a representative
from the health service,
building used for nonreligious
activities must
comply with the city's
ordinance prohibiting discrimination.
-From Associated Press and
Equal Time
substance abuse . program,
social work, · theology,
counseling center, the dorm ~.
itories and the campus
church. Three of these
people had previously
spoken at spiritual retreats
sponsored by SDA Kinship,
!}n organization for gay and
lesbian s~venth-day
Adventists.
Garcia was invited
to make class presentations
in the social work and
health science departments.
He took one to two
class periods to talk about
his personal perspective of
homosexuality; the myths
and stereotypes ab .out
homosexuals, religion and
homosexuality, how homosexuality
is not a secular
issue but an issue confronting
the church , and
what homophobia is and
how to change it.
"I went in to talk
about my experiences, what
I have seen my
challenges and my future,"
Garcia said. "I did not
know what to expect, but a
Higher Power was
definitely at work, and I
was able to stand my ground
when people challenged
me.
"Once the presentations
were over, students
often rallied around me
against the challengers .
They were ·able to see
homosexuality wasn't a
religious issue but a human
issue, and they would say
'you're not understanding.'
It was really fun to see
them defend me before
their peers.'' .
Garcia was invited
by the social work
department to organize a
forum on homosexuality .
· This forum was sanctioned
by the school administration
and was actively
promoted by the vice ·
president . for student
administration, who sent
letters to both students and
faculty urging them to
attend. The Collegian .
published an article
announcing the forum as
well as a follow-up report
the next week.
The forum, held on
a Friday afternoon,
January/February 1991
attracted about 75 students,
faculty, administrators and
commuriity people. It
included .personal testi- ,
mony by Gays and family
members of · Gays. Darold
Bigger, senior pastor at the.
campus church, addressed
the religious issues of
homosexuality. The
program ended with a
question and answer period.
That spring WWC
held a health fair on the
front lawn of the campus.
The social work
department, with Garcia's
assistance, made arrangements
for the Walla Walla
Mental Health Department
to have a booth.
Along with their own
materials, they agreed to
display the SDA Kinship
quilt for AIDS victims and
to hand out materials on
"It's important
for them to
know that the
Danny they
held in their
hands, the
Danny who
went to
Seventh-day
Adventist
schools all his
life, that
Danny is gay."
AIDS, Kinship and the
quilt.
SDA Kinship
inadvertently caused the
only major conflict between
Garcia · and the school
administration.
"~ got a scholarship
from Kinship, but it wasn't
included on the program
during recognition day,"
Garcia said. "I contacted
the administration to ask
why, because I felt it
should be listed just like
every other scholarship."
□
One of the _big
surprises came from tlle
social work def!artment
head Wilma Hepker, ·w:fio
volunteered to go with
Garcia when he spoke ,to
the administr<!,hon · .- .an
action that elicited _ an
immediate response from
the school. ·
"They called . _an
emergency board meeting,
and by the end of the day
they had written me . a
personal letter, signed by
the president, explaining
their reasons fo·r not
publishing the scholarship
."
Garcia decided not
to pursue the matter,
feeling it might undermine
the progress he had made .
"I had a good
relationship with all the
faculty I encountered,"
Garcia said. "Once the
faculty saw that the dean
of students supported what
I wanted to do, then they
were positive too."
The year ended
dramatically for Garcia.
Less than a week before
graduation he broke his
leg. "I didn't know if I could
walk across the stage," he
said. "But I did it because it
was a statement that a gay
student could come here and
make a difference. People
had to notice me."
Garcia, 26, now
works as a psychologist and
social worker in a state
hospital in Napa Valley .
He works with severely
mentally disturbed patients
in · individual
therapy, case management
and group therapy . "I love
it," he says.
He says he is still
trying to find his place in
the Seventh-day Adventjst
church where he grew up.
Part of his goal is to
educate them on homosexuality
and what the
church can do for the gay
and lesbian co~unity and
for people suffering with
AIDS. - .
"Pacific Union
College is ortly an hour
away from here , · ·and
Walla Walla College . h~d
SEE COVER STORY,
PageJ8
< ilJ
Families □
The forgotten
AIDS sufferers:
out of every situation . I tend toward
realism. But, the two of us together
were able to keep things on a forward
trend, re-evaluating our hopes and
sorrows on a daily or weekly basis.
The caregiver must respect the
PW A's attitude toward illness,
whether it is passive or active. The
attitudes of family and friends also
have impact. For example, Ron and I
often felt subtle pressure from friends
that the polite thing to do when one
has a terminal illness is to suffer and
die, especially when one comes close
to death on several occasions . This
concept has a strong influence because
there were times when we have felt
that the next thing to do was to wait
for death. We have had _ to fight
<;a_reg~vers • the ones who struggle before -
and long after - their beloved's death
The Rev. Ron Bergeron,
fbrmer pastor of the
Metropolitan Community
. Church of Ottawa,
Ontario, died on July 8,
1990, from complications
associated with AIDS. He ,
was 49. The life, love, and
faith he shared with his
mate, Carol Richer,
inspired many. Here,
Carol Richer tells how he
made it - and he offers
guidance for caregivers.
BY CAROL RICHER
The Diagnosis
I had been in a monogamous
relationship with Ron for about two
and a half years when Ron began
feeling some unusual fatigue and
experiencing frequent infections. A
diagnosis was finally made which
required the knowledge of Ron's HIV
status. The result of the HIV testing
came back positive, and we were told
that because he had a very low T4
count he could expect to get very sick
during the next six months, perhaps
with pneumocystis carinii or some
other opportunistic infections .
All thi.s occurred about -four years
ago ,md was a big shock for us as a
couple . We were now dealing with a
chronic disease . AIDS altered the
social, psychological, and financial
aspects of our lives and also the way
we related to each other . It meant
trying to adjust in a world which had
seemingly come to a halt. Dealing
with this situation has changed my
life completely. We had to examine
every facet of our beings: our relationship,
our attitudes, individually and
as a couple, our communication skills,
our feelings, and our day-to-day
planning.
The Attitudes
First, how is the person with AIDS
(PWA) dealing with the diagnosis?
What was their attitude toward life
before the diagnosis and what is it
now? Did they formerly communicate
feelings and can they now? Were
they able to deal with life's realities
before? How are they dealing now?
Is he or she able to maintain hope in
the face of life's difficulties,
including this diagnosis?
The main caregiver is somebody
who cares so much as to decide to
share this journey with the other
person, usually a spouse, close friend,
parent, or sibling . I insist on the word
"decide" because we all have choices.
This was to me the first step of joyfully
accepting this specific challenge
on our journey together. The
main caregiver must look into the
realities of his or her relationship
with the PW A, his or her own
attitudes toward life, his or her
ability to communicate feelings, his
or her own feelings about the diagnosis
. Then this caregiver must be
willing to adapt to everyday changes
and challenges .
Family and Friends
Friends and extended family members
may choose to be involved and loving,
or not to deal with the situation at
all . As time passed, I realized that,
for a good number of people, it is
easier to forget what is happening
than it is· to act. I sincerely think it is -
human nature to put difficult situations
aside in the hope that if one
puts them aside long enough, they
will go away. Even though Ron and I
were very involved in the lesbian and
gay community and with the church
which Ron pastored, I realized that
there were not too many people I
could count on; and by the same token,
sensed myself feeling left out by many
and betrayed by the non-commitment.
Although a painful eye-opener, it is,
in fact, very hard for many to deal
with a chronic health situation -
with death and grieving - and, confronted
with this situation, it is
easier to choose not to deal with it -
and even to pretend that nothing is
going on!
In our situation, it has been
interesti _ng to see how both of our
families have reacted . Family
members often have a hard time
dealing with a sibling's death,
sexuality, and the social pressures
because these topics touch a very
intimate part of their lives. As main
caregiver, I had the difficult task of
evaluating just what the family
needed to be told - and when . I've
had to decide the importance of
letting family members know just how
sick Ron was at times, and of evaluating
how badly Ron needed to see
various family members. This
interpretation is, at times, like
walking a thin line between overreacting
or under-estimating.
tooth and naii "in order to keep on
going in as normal a way as possible .
The conclusion and attitude we both
came to is : You are fully alive until
the moment you stop breathing. This
is a phrase that has kept us going
many times and has inspired us to
appreciate special moments, and to
look forward to projects and days
ahead. It gave us energy for life's
activities and for the sorrows that
Ron and I often felt
subtle pressure from
friends that the
polite thing to do
when one has a
terminal illness is to
suffer and die ...
come with the inevitable grieving
over the loss of a loved one. And,
Continuing the grief is not just something that
Relationship happens at the point of death, it
The relationship between the happens with every change and loss
caregiver and the PWA will, of in life. One's choices are constantly
COurse l'nfluence our . 1 limited; there is ongoing Joss. , caregiver ro e.
Although the diagnosis and con- For Ron and I, one of the most diftinuing
illness brings alterations, for ficult subjects to talk about at first
the 1:1ost.part the relationship was his death. We are just not -
Continues along th I
. trained to think in terms of death for
esame meas
~fore the illness. It is therefore very us at a young age . We grew by talkimportant
to try to understand what ing about his eventual death and
has been going on before the diagnosis were able to come to terms with wills
and to examine how this affects the funeral arrangments, a memorial '
future of the relationship. ..service, and the meaning of death for
The caregiver's attitude needs to be both Ron and me. I must say that
in line with that of the PWA • !hrough this very basic commun-
, 1.e., 1catio bl t h the caregiver needs to be able to . . n, we were a e o c ange our
adjust with the hopes and d-istresses- ~ ---- ~titudes to"'.ard death and it just did
felt by the PW A on a day-to-da not _seem as fmal anymore. Communbasis.
This is not easy. Ron wa:;; an icatmn made us able to discuss every
optimist who always makes the best __ _ SEE CAREGIVER, Page 18
SECO,ND STONE
Church & Organization News
Overlake MCC
At New Location
Overlake Metropolitan Community
Church, Bellevue, Washington,
recently celebrated its third anniversary
in conjunction with moving to a
ne\V, more convenient worship
location - First Congregational
Church, 6745 108th N.E., downtown
Bellevue. A. Austin Amerine is
pastor.
-SGN
Church Launches
Bond Issue
King of Peace MCC, St. Petersburg,
Florida, has begun efforts to raise
$700,000 through a bond issue to
purchase and renovate a new church
home. The bonds are being sold by
prospectus only. For inf6rmation,
contact the church at (813)323-5857.
Garner Exits
MCC Baltimore
The Rev. Darlene Garner, who was
installed as pastor of the
Metropolitan Community Church of
Baltimore last January announced
during church services on November
25 that she was resigning . Garner
said in a letter to church members,
"my experience with var ious parts of
the church over the past five months
indicates clearly that if the current
members of the congregation are ever
to reconcile with one another and
with the Board , the pastor must
leave. "
-Baltimore Alternative
Seattle Church
Wins National
Recognition For
AIDS Ministry .
_flymouth Congregational Church, ,
Seattle, Washington, has received a ·
national award for its pioneering
work in providing housing for those
with HIV/ AIDS.
The 1,000-member United Church of
Christ congregation was given a
distinguished service award by the
AIDS National Interfaith Network,
meeing in Chicago, for a program
that "puts a human face on AIDS
that most religious people, indeed,
most Americans, refuse to
acknowledge or embrace.
The AIDS National Interfaith
Network, formed in 1988 and holding
its second annual .convention, brings
together religious people who are
operating successful programs to
educate the public about the AIDS
epidemic and to help those who have
HIV/ AIDS. lt represents 85
Catholic , Protestant and Jewish
interfaith organizations, ranging
from local congregations to national
· denominations . Its New York City
headquarters are in the offices of the
United Church Board for Homeland
Ministries, the domestic mission arm
of the 1.6 million-member United ·
Church of Christ.
Plymouth Church has worked in the
Seattle area to find affordable
housing for low income people with
HIV/AIDS.
-SGN
Samaritan Moves
Samaritan College has moved to new
offices. The college is now located in
the same building as the Universal
Fellowship of Metropolitan
Community Churches. The new
address is 5300 Santa Monica Blvd.,
Suite 306, Los Angeles, CA .90029.
Evangelicals Open
Bible Institute
The staff and Advisory Council of the
Evangelical Bible Institute have
announced the opening of a full-time
Bible School in the fall of this year ,
where people can study the Bible in a ·
gay /lesbian affirming atmosphere.
Although EBI has existed for several
years, it has offered only occasional
weeknight courses and weekend
seminars. EBI's curriculum is
acceptable to all evangelical
denominations. Financial assistance
is provided to students proving need.
Assistance with housing and work
study is also provided.
For information, write to Chuck
Shamblin, Evangelical Bible
Institute, 1029 East Turney, Phoenix,
AZ 85014-4402.
Dignity/Los Angeles
· To Dedicate New
Center
After years of struggling to find a
permanent home, Dignity /Los
Angeles will dedicate its
newly-purchased Dignity Center in a
special ceremony on January 26.
Located at 126 South Avenue 64 in
Highland Park, the open house will
include a tour, a dedication of a
building plaque, strolling musicians
and singers and refreshments.
Following this event, the founding
chapter of the International Dignity
Gay and Lesbian Catholic Movement
will celebrate its twenty-second year
of existence at a banquet to be held at
the Sheraton Town House at 2961
Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles.
Founded in 1969, the Los Angeles
mother-chapter met in offices, and
even a funeral parlor, before being
allowed by the Archdiocese of Los
Angeles to hold meetings and
eventually liturgies at the Newman
Center, a Catholic facility at Los
Angeles City College, from 1973 to
·1988, when they were asked to leave
due to upcoming renovations of that
facility. The group then went to St.
Thomas Episcopal Church in
Hollywood in June, 1988, where they
remained for exactly one year. The
pastor there evicted the group,
reacting to Los Angeles Catholic
Archbishop Roger Mahony's pastoral
letter to all facultied priests within
the Archdiocese to cease saying Mass
'for all Dignity chapters within his
. jurisdiction. The Southern Conference
of Catholic Bishops met . and
·concurred .with the Archbishop's
wishes.
It was the Wes.t HoUywoo ,d
Presbyterian Church which gave the
group a home from Jurie, -1989, until :
the first liturgy in their present
• newly-purchased home· in1 Highliinif •
Park. · The facility, bt1ilt in 1904,
consists of a large congregation room
with patio and gardelll! on the first
level and . a second story containing
offices, meeting - rooms · and . a (ull .
kitchen. A separate cor:ripound
·contains a Iate-inodel one-bedroom
house with patio, which the group
rents out.
Dignity Center/Los Angeles at 126 South Avenue 64 in HighiandPark ·
Business or PersonalTrya
Second Stone
Classified Ad!
January/February 1991 II
Calendar
The following announcements have
been submitted by sponsoring or
affiliatedg roups.
MCCLong Beach
Charismatic
Conference '91
FEBRUARY 8-9, "Go With the
Spirit" is the theme of the MCC Long
Beach Charismatic Conference.
Speakers include Rev. Eria Duncan,
Rev. Grant Ford, Rev. Samuel Kader,
Rev. Phyllis Mann, Rev. Duane
Moret, Rev. Dr. Dusty Pruitt, Ms.
Rosalind Rinker, Rev. Nori Rost and
Ms. Sandra Turnbull. Workshops
include "Healing the Inner Child,"
"Spiritual Gifts" and "Your Job on
Earth." For information contact
MCC/Long Beach, 1231 Locust Ave.,
Long Beach, CA 90813.
PLGC Midwest
Winter Conference
FEBRUARY 8-10, "When Sexuality
and Spirituality Meet'' is the theme
of Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay
Concem's winter conference. St.
Benedict Center, Madison, Wis., is
the setting. Cost is $65.00, which
includes all meals and two nights
lodging. For information contact
Ellwood Carey, 3817 Portage Ave.,
#2, Madison, WI 53704 or call
(608)244-0894.
Family Matters!
Ministry with
Lesbian and Gay
Christians
FEBRUARY 9, Three denominations
in metropolitan New York · will hold
a day-long educational event at Park
Avenue Christian Church. Workshops
will be offered for clergy and
lay ministers. Dr. Edwina Hunter of
Union Theological Seminary will
lead the worship. This event grows
out of monthly meetings of the United
Church Coalition for Lesbian and
Gay Concerns, the Gay, Lesbian, and
Affirming Disciples Alliance and
American Baptists Concerned in New
York. For further information call
Will Leckie, (201)592-8805.
Just Say Yes:
A Call To Thrive
FEBRUARY 15-17, a conference to
bring together gay, lesbian and
bisexual seminarians and divinity
school students. The Episcopal
Divinity School, Cambridge, Mass.,
· is the setting. Cost is $30.00. Keynotespeakersscheduled:
Carter
Heyward, Chris Glaser, Ir_ene Monroe
and (tentatively) John Boswell. In
addition to the several workshops
scheduled, there will be a session on
developing strategies for change in
seminaries, the church and beyond.
For information, contact Michael
Musolf, 99 Brattle St., Box 30,
Cambridge, MA 02138 or call
(617)547°7629.
1991 Institute
Of The Son
FEBRUARY 18-21, The Evangelical
Bible Institute and the Missions Task
Force of Casa de Cristo Church,
Phoenix, Arizona, present a time of
learning, sharing, equipping and
growing as Christian workers. The
theme of the program is "Back to
Basics." Cost'is $15.00, which
includes materials and meals ;
Housing for out-oHowners will be
provided by members of the Casa
congregation. For information contact
Casa de Cristo Church at
(602)265-2831 or write to EBI, 1029 E.
Tumey, Phoenix, AZ. 85014.
Annual T-E-N
Weekend
FEBRUARY22-24, The Evangelical
Network sponsors its fourth annual
gathering . . Each year the T-E-N
Weekend gives evangelical groups
and individuals the opportunity to
gather together in a non-denom- .
inational environment for the purpose
of learning and growing together.
Casa de Cristo Evangelical Church,
Phoenix, Arizona is the setting. The
theme is "Leadership in the Local
Church." Scheduled to speak: Bro.
Ken Coulter, Pastor Rada Schaff, Ron
Burcham, Jan Sayre, Bro. Fred
Pattison, and others. Registration of
$20.00 includes Sa.turday meals. For
information , contact T~E-N, P.O. Box
16104, Phoenix, AZ. 85011, or call
(602)265-2831 or (602)849-5883.
LGCM 1991
Annual Conference
APRIL 13, England's Lesbian and Gay
Christian Movement holds its annual
conference. Bloomsbury Central
Baptist Church, London, is the
setting. For information write to
LGCM, Oxford House, Derbyshire St., .
London E2 6HG, UK.
Brethren/Mennonite
Families Retreat
APRIL 12-14, The second retreat for
the parents and families of lesbian,
gay and bisexual persons. The
retreat, sponsored in part by a support
. network of Brethren/Mennonite
parents with lesbian or gay children,
will be held at the Laurelville
Mennonite Church Center in western
Pennsylvania. Write to Rt. 5, Boxl45,
Mt. Pleasant, PA 15666 or call (412)
423-2056.
Spiritfest
New Orleans
MAY 24-27, Grace Ministries sponsors
a Christian gathering at Holy
Redeemer Retreat Center, LaCombe,
Louisiana. The retreat center, a
former Redemptorist seminary, is
beautifully situated on 110 acres of
forested land on the north shore of
Lake Ponchartrain. Cost is $100.00
per person. For information write to
Spiritfest '91, P.O. Box 70555, New
Orleans, LA 70172-0555.
National UCCL/GC
Gathering
~ 23 -26, The United Church
Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns'
National Gathering 11 immediately
precedes the United Church of Christ
General Synod 18 in Norfolk,
Virg inia. The setting for the
gathering will be the Old Dominion
University campus in Norfolk.
Connecticut UCCL/GC is planning the
three day event, which will offer
opportunities for single persons and
persons in relationships to explore
ways we are family: the family
we're in now, the family we came
from, the family we would wish for .
Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, author
of Is The Homosexual My Neighbor?,
will be the featured speaker . For
information write to: UCCL/GC, 18
N. College, Athens, OH 45701 or call
(614)593-7301.
NABWMT
Convention '91:
Living, Loving
and Working
Together
JUNE 23-30, The Detroit Chapter of
Black and White Men Together hosts
the 1991 convention of the National
Association ofBlack and White Men
Together, an organization formed ten
years ago to break down racial
barriers between gay people and
provide a multiracial political and
social forum. The NABWMT is an
umbrella organization for over 25
chapters nationwide. Conveption '91
will explore the many ways we
relate as gay people and examine
SECOND STONE
□ methods to unify the gay community.
Workshops will be presented on
interpersonal relationships, health
issues .and AIDS awareness, bridging
cultural differences and many othe _r
issues. The Hotel St. Regis is the
setting. For information write:
BWMT /Detroit, Convention '91, P.O.
Box 24-8831, Detroit, MI 48224.
connECtion '91
JULY 4-7, the first joint Evangelicals
Concerned Midwest and Western
Region conference. The campus of the
University of Denver is the setting .
The conference will include keynote
addresses, workshops, small group
interaction,prayer, and socializing.
Participants will fellowship with
gay and lesbian Christians from
across the United States and learn
more about the integration of
sexuality and spirituality and
discover new ways to love God, others
and self. To show off Colorado's
natural wonders, the weekend will
feature a half-day trip into the
Rocky Mountains.
For registration information, contact
Scott at the ECWR office,
(303)830-2823.
Our Heroic Journey:
Building A Healing
Circle
AUGUST 26. 29, A special retreat of
celebration for gay and lesbian ministers.
This retreat will tap the very
special experience of the Holy Spirit
that every gay and lesbian minister
has to learn to utilize to strengthen
and celebrate their lives. The Weber
House, Baltimore, Maryland, is the
setting. Limited financial assistance
is available. For registration information,
write to CMI Retreat, P.O.
Box 60125, Chicago, IL60660-0125.
Dignity/USA
Convention '91
AUGUST 29-SEPTEMBER 1, The
Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill in
Washington, D.C. will the be setting
for Dignity /USA's tenth biennial
convention.
Themed "Many Gifts, One Spirit,"
the convention program will feature
presentations and workshops that
reflect the diversity of Dignity's
national community . For more
information write: Convention '91,
Dignity /USA, Box 29661,
Washington, DC 20017.
SEND EVENT NOTICES TO:
CALENDAR, SECOND STONE,
P.O. BOX 8340,
NEWORLEANS, LA 70182
Essay
Healing the loneliness
By Dr. Buddy Truluck
Columnist
Wheni was 10 years old I was
smaller than my playmates. My most
vivid memory of playground games
was being the last ,one chosen for a
team. I was left out a lot of the time.
Sometimes one of my friends would
feel sorry for me and see to it I was on
their side. Being little in size made
me different. In the tiny world of the
childhood playground, being different
meant being alone.
Later, when I began to realize I was
gay, I felt even more isolated and left
out. I felt that I was the only one in
the world like me. I felt cut off from
God. You may have felt some of the
same thing. I was a Christian, a
pastor and later a Bible professor.
Finally, I was rejected by the church.
By 1981, I was openly gay, living in
Atlanta, going to gay bars and feeling
like wallpaper. I felt ignored and
left out there too. I drank to be social.
At first, alcohol tasted really awful.
Then I got used to it and drank as a
habit and as a way to deal with
frustrations and disappointments. I
became alcoholic for several years.
I finally went with a friend to a gay
Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, took
a white chip and became sober. Five
months later, I tried drinking again
and lost control. I went back to AA,
took a white chip and started over
again. By the grace of God and "one
day at a time" I have been sober since
August 8, 1989. 1 thank God for the
, wonderfully supportive lesbian and
gay friends in and outside of MCC
who have loved me and accepted me.
I don't feel left out anymore. As
Senior Pastor of Golden Gate MCC in
San Francisco, I have been given a
wide open door of opportunity to
demonstrate the inclusive power of
the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Lesbians and gay men often feel
, rejected, ,abandoned and left out.
God's love revealed in Jesus Christ
cuts through this isolation and
loneliness. Romans ·15:7 calls you to
"accept one another, just as Christ
also accepted you to the glory of
God ." John 3:16 says that God loves
the world~ which surely includes you
an,d me. The inclusive power of the
gospel was stated by Paul in Romans
1:16: "I am not ashamed of the
gospel, for it is the power of God for
salvation to every one who believes."
Accepting yourself and feeling good ,
about yourself are part of God's gift of
love to you in Jesus Christ. Your
mission to continue the work that,
Jesus began depends upon your ability
to love yourself. You cannot include
others in your life if you are not able
to include yourself .
Self-esteem is not only God's gift to
you through Jesus Christ; it is also
the basis for reaching out to others to
lift them and love them into feeling
good about themselves too. "Love
your neighbor as yourself" requires
first that you love yourself. Jesus
said in John 13:34, "I give you a new
commandment that you love each
other as I have loved you." That
yerse could also say "accept each
other just as I have accepted you."
How do you feel about yourself
today?
Accepting yourself
and feeling good
about yourself are
part of God's giffof
love ...
The gay and lesbian community is a
. wounded people. Some churches
have maintained a persistent and
unrelenting attack on Lesbians and
Gays that belittles and ridicules
their worth before God and their
right to serve God in the church. The
gospel that Jesus intended to be
inclusive and healing has been
distorted into a cruel -weapon of fear
and anger by these Bible abusers and
religious terrorists. Nobody has the
right to undermine your self respect as
a gay person. Fight back with the
truth. God loves you . You don't have
.to be afraid or alone anymore.
\ \
Buddy Truluck is a former Southern
Baptist pastor. Presently this
, energetic Bible scholar is teaching a
series entitled "The Bible As A
Friend of Lesbians and Gays" at San
Francisco's Golden Gate MCC, where
he serves as pastor. He was edU<;:ated
at the Southern Baptist Theological
Seminary in Louisville, 'Kentucky.
□
:J[owers. 9Lre~ c[
The little boy went first day
of school
He got some crayons and started
to draw
He put colors all over the paper
For colors was what he saw
And the teacher said ... What you
doin' young man
I'm painting flowers he said
She said ... It's not the time for
art young man
And anyway flowers are green
and red
There's a time for everything
young man
And a way it should be done
You've got to show concern for
everyone else
For you 're not the only one
And she said ...
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers
any other way
Than the way they always have
been seen
But the little boy said ...
There are so many colors in the
rainbow
So many colors in the m.ornin' sun
So many colors in a flower and I
see every one
Well the teachers aid. ..Y ou're
sassy
There's ways that things should be
And you 'II paint flowers the way
they are
So rq,eat after me ...
And she said ...
, Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers
any other way
Than the way they always have
been seen
But the little boy said ...
There are so many colors in the
rainbow
So many colors in the mornin' sun
So many colors in a flower
And I see every one
The teacher put him in a corner
She said ... lt 's for your own good
And you won't come out 'ti/ you
get it right
And all responding like you should
Well finally he got lonely
Frightened thoughts filled his
head
And he went up to the teacher
And this is what he said ... and
he said
, Flowers are red, green leaves
are green
There's no need to see flowers
any other way
Than the way they always have
been seen
Time went by like it always does
And they moved to another town
And the little boy went to another
school
And this is what he found
The teacher there was smilin •
She said ... Painting should be fun
And there are so many colors in
a flower
So let's use every one
But the littl~ boy painted flowers
In neat rows of green and red
And when the teachera sked,him why
This is what he said ... imd he said
Flowers are red,,green leaves
are green
There's no need to see flowers
aniTotherw ay
Than the way they always have
been seen
-copied
January/February 1991 :II
Closer Look
Gays .:and the church: poor imitators
By Rev, Bmceltoller
Contributing 'Writer
· Moshof ,',the gay and lesbian
, · people cfknow feel much the same
, way about the traditional Christian
,·.;church that we Jee! about our parents.
We love them for giving us _life, for
helping to establish in us some basic ..
beliefs, for showing us ways to relate
to the world around us. We love them •·
for _the protection they offered us in •
our early . development, and we·
appreciate the good qualities we saw
(and see) in them. On the other hand
we often feE\l that they gave us, in
many ways, .. an unrealistic view of
the world and of life. _We are angry
that they often place upon us
expectations that are beyond our
capabilities, and sometimes we feel
threaten ·ed with abandonment,
neglect, and outright hostility when
we express our differing ways of
looking at life,
The Rev. Dr. Sherre Boothman,
speaking at Reconciliation MCCsome
time ago remarked on her amazement
that lesbian women and gay men
would even want to be in the church.
When the Christian church has been
such a bastion of persecution, such a
~earer of false witness against us,
such a perpetrator of the violence
done to us, why would we be drawn
toward the church at all? Excellent ·
question!
·In these columns during 1991, I would
. like to explore from Biblical bases
the varying relationships that gay
and lesbian people establish with
(and without) the organized church.
The topic, incidentally, was.
suggested to me by my spouse of 17
years. Rick is a former altar boy in •the
Roman Catholic Church who left
the church with the advent of
·vatican II because of the loss or'
mystery · and tradition when Latirt
masses became rare. He was·.ordained
a deacon in the UFMCC at the .third
General Conference, and left the
church soon after because of a violent
split in his local congregation .. · In .
retrospect he feels disillusioned
because nobody at that point showed ·
him the way to a personal Christian
commitment. When l met him he was
nominally involved in Dyanetics and
other Science of the Mind
philosophies. Within a year he had
experienced a dramatic evangelical
A Presbyterian Promise
"We will work to increase the acceptance a.1d
participation -in the church ofaHpersons regardless
of racial-ethnic origins, . sex, class; age,
disability,m arital sui.tuso r sexual orientation'.'
~ · 195th General Assembly{f983),
· Atlanta, Georgia.
If ·this is your promise, too,
we invite you · to join
conversion while watching a TV
evangelist. Soon after he was
introduced to charismatic worship
and received his prayer language on a
Greyhound bus alone on his way to
visit a friend in Virginia. For ten
years he was involved with · me in
independent ministry to gay and
lesbian people, and for five years now
has been actively involved ·in
UFMCC in the focal church and at
District and Fellowship levels as
well . It seems as we share our stories
that most of us have approached God
and the church through many doors,
and have often been denied entry into
-the community of believers because .of
our gender orientation.
Briefly in this introductory article
I offer a Biblical understanding of the
frequent failure of the traditional
church to act in a godly manner
toward gay and lesbian people.
Ephesians 5:1 ·offers this gem of
advice near the middle of some
wonderful practical advice on how to
live out our new Christian lives in
everyday existance: "Be imitators of
God, therefore, as dearly loved
children." ·
Children are not always good
imitators of their role models.
Witness playing house: little girls
and boys dressed up in daddy or
mommy's clothes think . they have
made themselves look very much like
· the adults they eumlate: But the
Clothes are too big, the images
caricatures, the ca_refully guarded
gender roles often blurred much ' to the
parent's chagrin. The children really
seem poor imitators of the ad .ults in
their lives. In years to come,
however, as most psychologists and
pastoral counselors will iell you; the
conscious and subconsc;ious imitation
of our parents becomes a major factor
in how we live our lives and how we
relate to one another,
.I find hope in this analogy. Picture
the church as children seeking to
. imitating of God is being used by God
to transform us into the image -of Jesus
Christ, so that our "play," our poor.
imitation, is . becoming a ·shaping
factor in how we live and love and
relate .to ourselves, each other, _and
our world. ·
So convinced am I of these things
that now in my 25th year of ministry
- 17 years of that primarily to gay
. and lesbi;m people O I continue to urge
We caricature God
who chooses to
identify with "the
least of these" and
express God as
rejecting all who do
not fit a certain
social/ cultural/ economic
role.
the church's oppressed to look for
ways to relate to the community of
believers. "Forsake not the
assembling of yourselves together as
the manner of some is, but rather .
,encourage one another the more as you
see the day approaching. (Hebrews
10:25)
In this year's series of articles we
will examine more closely some ways
people have chosen to do this. I'd
like to hear your story as a way of
continuing _ to research this. What
has your faith walk been like?
.Where has it taken you? How do you
currently relate to the community of
faith? You may direct your remarks
to the address below.
. .
' • ·.
· imitate the God who breathes life The Re'l!erendB ruce Roller is pastor
' into us, and doing it rather badly. We of Reconciliation. MCC in Grand
Presbyterians. for caricature God who chooses . to Rapids, MI. He has prepared a
Lesbian/Gay_ Concerns·
_ ·,:_W' rite to Eldel'l8IJ,l~QS; ¥de~n .
· :,;·:P :t.OC;:1\:0Box~ 8., ~~:wB runswick:N, t
._;;~i::0',.:~; }:5 ~903;~33J~t784-l5§1- 0~. . ;::;,,, ,,.
f'~. . - :' :·:.:;;-,. (
~:~i~t
identify wiih "the lea~t of these" workbook on 1 Corinthians. 6:9-10
amfexpress God as rejecting all who that is available for $3.50 plus 25%
do not fit a certain • social/ handling and shipping: · This book
: cultural/ernnomic role. . . God's allows the student t-o, draw
?c lothes" are much too big for . us - conclusions themselves; fr~ the
. ,, l' ''&:JQrs: ways to far above OW'· W:ays, Word of God; and. has: ~~lpeil ,ria'!y
1,. "imppssible tq fin4. out excep f ·at . peaple ov.er . _their • .: ,f~ ,!:-, of \ifJ,1 !iYfatfi'oto:'Usb-y t~ J!Ji:>Splyir it iQ,• ," · condemnation frodJ this>, p: a'SStfB"o f
.' .,:>,e v~r ;t n,~r~isfi'ig "' ·s pJ~.ii4 o r -i' <»' · Scr{pture. The w/Jrkfi{]o'j.sk : atfailabl.e
:_ .~! ,si~jidf~g( . ~n, :2'.f~t .. ;af.d .. ,from Faithful Publicat Joi ," RO. Bo~.- · ..:~ r2:~evr -,~e' :·slciwly t :,O~f · ~ ,o~'-' "6658,,G, rand R_apidsM, l 185M:·. .
COMMENTARY, From Page 2
hand for hand and foot for foot"
(Deut. 19:21) - that, for better or
worse, today we as Christians do
re-examine. If New Agers are decried
as relativistic - and, granted, they
often are - isn't quoting Deuteronomy·
18:9-14 in support of anti-New Age
sentiments while refusing to marry
your widowed sister-in-law (for
which cause Deut. 25:9 commands
stripping of the sandal and a spit in
the face) the more insidious
relativism because of its hypocrisy?
But mediums arenot the point.
Anyone who thinks that the New
Age movement is about channeling, or
crystals, or astrology has mistaken
the "glitter" for the substance. There
are many, many New Ag<;?rS who
practice none of the glitter and are
New Agers nonetheless. In my
experience, while some New Agers
consider God "an impersonal force,"
most express love and dedication to
the personal God. While it's true
that few New Agers acknowledge
Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, many
do see him as an active Person and not
just "Christ Consciousness." And
moreover . there are New Age
Christians, individuals who, as
Warner puts it, "think that they can
easily follow both paths" and
certainly do not qualify as
"relatively uninformed Christians."
I should know for I'm one of them.
So if the gamut from channeling to
"I am God" is neither universal to nor
definitive of New Agers, then there
must be something more pivotal and
basic to the New Age movement than
any item to which Rev. Warner's
article alluded. At essence, the New
Age vision is a philosophy which
cares deeply for the integrity of all
things and persons, observes the
spiritual truth applicable to each
episode of life, and seeks to practice
the highest good consistently. And in
that, there is nothing at odds with
Christian faith.
Yes, there are many New Age
practices and beliefs that the
Christian might find contrary to the
teachings of their church or their
denomination's interpretation of
Scripture. And many New Agers
unintentionally feed the dispute by
making one or another New Age
belief the center of their own
understanding. A good example of
this is Groothuis' "resurrection or
reincarnation" - a major source of
contention between New Agers and
Christians and rightly so! The
majority in both "sides" believe their
unc1crstanding to be correct and so
there is need to differ about it. Good!
As Christians let's differ with New
Agers on this point (or any other we
find an offense to our faith) and do so
strongly and confidently, yet open to
listening to their equally strong and
confident rebuttal. But let's not go
throwing babies out with the bath
water by ignoring the larger context
of positive spiritual ground we
indeed do share. Let's differ where
At essence, the New
Age vision is a
philosophy which
cares deeply for the
integrity of all things
and persons,
observes the
spiritual truth
applicable to each
episode of life, and
seeks to practice the
highest good
consistently. And in
that, there is nothing
at odds with
Christian faith.
we differ and agree where we agree.
Let's be bold enough, versed enough in
our Christian faith, to know we can
discern the differences and the
similarities: •
I must admit I am incredulous that
one could think to imply that the
New Age vision is in any way
"amoral." True, there is no "central
ethical base," if by that a set of
moral regulations is meant. But that
hardly makes for amorality.
Instead, in the New Age context, this
necessitates a consistent discerning
and applicatlon of the highest good
possible to each circumstance. It
mandates that we see each new
situation with clarity and respond
with the course of action best for all
involved. Moreover, the New Age
way places complete responsibility
for one's choices on one .self, so there's
no escaping the need to act with the
utmost of integrity at each turn of
events.
But let's look at the Sermon of the
Mount (where, incidentally, three
items of Deuteronomy were
discarded.) Wasn't Jesus making
much the same point? Yes, there are
Laws, but it's not enough to follow
them with precision. One must
practice the substance and meaing of
the Law, not just the letter. What?
You're angry with your neighbor?
You're as liable to judgment as if you
had killed him! What? You lust
after your neighbor's mate? That's
the same as adultry! "Unless your
justice exceeds that of the Scribes and
Pharisees" - who were, after all,
exacting in each jot and tittle - "you
shall not enter the kingdom of
heaven." (Matt. 5:20)
And the New Ager would agree!
That's why there is no "quick
answer" morality for the New Ager.
The letter of the Law is nothing -
ethical rules and regulations of
themselves are empty - but the
meaning and substance is absolute.
.And the meaning and substance of true
values shine even without their
evident rule form in the New Age
movement.
Could that be why Gays and
Lesbians sometimes find the New Age
vision appealing? Not because they
"who have often felt powerless and·
disenfranchised" are lured by the
New Age movement's "very lack of a
central ethical base"... which
"removes most, if not all, prejudice
against gay and lesbian lifestyles,"
but because Christians who are gay
and lesbian have a ministry of
proclamation uniquely suited to their
experience? That proclamation?
Look at the substance, not at the
letter! In the name of a literal
interpretation of Scripture's moral
mandates, Gays and Lesbians have
suffered the dehumanizing attitudes
of those Christians who would
· practice nothing less than fastidious
adherence to the Bible ... without any
inclination to fully grasp what the
Christian faith is about!
Those who are concerned about the
Christian message know that its
meaning and substance is antithetical
to discrimination on the basis or
sexual orientation. But that's not
what the literally read words of
Scripture would indicate. We are all
too familiar with those passages
which appear to condemn
homosexuality, so let's skip the
quoting of them. We are all too
familiar how the letter kills, but the
spirit gives life. And so, taking the
responsibility for our decision to
speak even against the literality of
Scripture if we must, we of the
proclamation say that the substance
of Christianity demands full
inclusion for Gays and Lesbians.
And when Christians who are gay
or lesbian sec New Agers who also, in
all issues of spirituality, invoke the
meaning and substance, well, maybe
that's a shared bond that runs a
whole lot deeper than a contentious
focus upon our differences. Yes,
Christians and New Agers arc often
January/February 1991
radically different in practice and.
belief. As Christians we cannot , nod
in agreement to all New Age beliefs.
The accountability
for knowing one's
Christian faith
enough to discern
what is Christian
and what is not...
rests squarely on the
shoulders of the
Christian.
But as Christians with that special
proclamation God has entrusted to us
- "Wake up! It's the meaning and
substance that counts!" - we cannot but
notice New Agers as those who too
tread that path.
As the Lord Jesus has said, "Judge
not by appearance, but give just
judgment" (john 7:24). And to that, 1
say, amen.
Catherine Groves is editor of
Christian*New Age Quarterly: A
Bridge Supporting Dialogue. For
information, send SASE to P.O. Box
276, Clifton, NJ 07011-0276. Sample
issue, $3.50. Catherine welcomes
your inquiries or thoughts.
Ex-Gays?
There
Are None
LambdaC hristianF ellowshiips
pleasedto a nnouncae newb ook
by Rev.S ylviaP enningto•n a n
examinatioonf ex.gaym inistries•
what they do • what they don't do.
You'lml eetp eoplew ho,o nly
throughG od'sg raceh, aves urviveda
nds toppedtr yingt o be
ex-gaysb, ecausei,n truth,t here
is no such thing as an ex-gay
,:;erson.
Now Available From
Lambda Christian
Fellowship
P. 0. Box 1967
Hawthorne, CA 90250
$15.00p lus$ 1.50f or postagean d
handlingC. aliforniare sidentsa dd
6% sales tax.
m
Books
About Courage - .
Life of helplessness brought knowledge of compassion
By Michael Blankenship
Contributing Writer
The only thing wrong with Mickey
C. Fleming's recent autobiography,
About Courage, is it's cover and
format. The photo of a handsome,
young black man (Fleming, himself)
in an open red robe on the cover of this
small paperback gives it the
appearance of a sleazy gay novel.
But this is one book that can't be
judged by its cover. Once I started the
book I was immediately drawn into a
world that both fascinated and
repulsed me, a world and life totally
foreign to my own.
His life began in poverty in rural
North Carolina. Prior to his birth,
his mother's boyfriend had deserted
•_.. a s telling a testament to the courage of the human
splril .. as has come my way." --Huston Smith, author of The
ReligiaM of Man
-16 full-color reproductions of the widely acclaimed "Panels of
Love" paintings_ Plus artist/author Tom Grummon's detailed
account of hi• own discovery of new depths of love, faith and
splrl1ual support From a man living each day with his own lif&.
threalaning disease. ·
A book that inspires hope to th~ facing - their own reality. And
a beautiful gift from friend or family to someone who needs
assurance.
Each painting based on selected passage from the Old or New
Testament.
-Available in bookstores or from Los Hombres Press, Dept SS, 739 5th Ave., Ste.
28, San Diego, CA 92101. $19.95 plus $1.50 postage and handling .. CA residents
add 7% tax. Check, Money Order or Visa/MC. Phone orders: 619/688-1023.
I am, with You
Fear Not!
(A Corrective Look
at the Lesbian and Gay
Clobber Passages)
Professionally produced Video-tape
Audio-tape & Workbook
A new book by ,he Rev. Bruce Roller
Pastor of Reconcilia1ionM CC
Grand Rapids, Ml
(/J/Uu'nlJI ~ -~ V - (/ AECONCtUATION
VHS Video (90 min.l $24.95
Al.Dia Tape $5.00· • Ylcridxx>k $5.00
t.o,.;ng0xselves$6.95
Adj 25% f()( 5hiWing& han:1ing.
Faithful Publications
P.O. Box 6658
Grand Rapids, MI 49516
her to have the baby on her own.
Living in squalor with relatives she
managed to keep the family
together, but by Mickey's second
birthday her unstable mental health
forced her to abandon her children.
Fleming's half-brothers and sister
were shipped off to Washington,
D.C. to live with relatives but, being
an illegitimate child, Mickey was
rejected by his mother's family and
forced to enter an orphanage.
I am amazed that anyone could
survive the abuse he suffered in the
orphanage. . By age eight his feminine
beauty had captured the
attention of the older boys, who
sometimes fought over his affections
"I know now that the
true texture of my
being is not the color
of my skin or my
sexual condition or
my social position in
life, it's my soul. The
inner man. This is
liberating
knowledge. This is
inner healing ... "
and who eventually took turns
repeatedly raping him. He also
endured frequent beatings and was
constantly tormented because of a
speech impediment he had.
He was placed in a number of foster
homes. At one, he was dressed as a
little girl and taught to dance for the
amusement of his caretaker. And, at
another, he often sneaked into the
room of the daughter of his foster
parents and dressed in her clothing.
He made himself up, with the help
of a towel for a wig, to look like the
girl he felt lived inside himself. He
pleaded with God to miraculously
make him a girl. He was a confused,
damaged child.
Religion had been an important part
of the lives of all of his foster lrf.·., • . i.~ SECOND STONE
□
Mickey C. Fleming
families, and he was exposed to a
variety of religious experiences. So it
was only natural that during these
formative years he would question
God about the hardship in his life.
He. wanted to know why he wasn't
like the other boys, why he couldn't
have a real Mom and Dad, and why
the world was so cruel to him. He
was hurting. His religious experiences
all had one thing in common: a
negative view of homosexuality. He
carried the guilt of his sexual
feelings from his earliest sensual
yearnings and, to add to this burden,
he was distressed by his fear of
inherited mental illness.
Gang violence was rampant on the
streets of D.C. and during his high
school years Fleming had no
alternative but to try to adapt to his
environment by assuming some
stereotypically masculine characteristics.
He learned quickly that if he
was careless in his dress and didn't
smile too much he got beat up less
often. Any other way would have
been suicide.
His struggle to make something of
his life continued on a roller coaster
course. For every good thing that
came his way it seemed that
something equally bad, or worse,
would happen .
He eventually left the foster home
program and, through a government
agency, entered college. During his
college years he finally came to grips
with his sexuality and fell in love,
only to have his lover impulsively
marry a woman.
God spoke to him through a church
service he accidently stumbled into.
Mickey could see an image of himself
when he heard the words of Jesus
about eunuchs, yet he was so
frightened by the penecostal
experience that he swore he'd never
set foot in a church again.
SEE COURAGE, Next Page
Books ~-□ Different Mothers: Son & Daughters Of Lesbians Talk About Their Lives
"America has gone baby crazy," Because Rafkin relies on oral
writes Louise Rafkin in Different
Mothers: Sons & Daughters of
Lesbians Talk About Their Lives.
"And Lesbians are certainly not
exempt: we're smack in the middle of
our own 'gayby' boom."
In Different Mothers, 38 "children"
(ages 5 to 40) come together to tell us
about r;rowing up in lesbian families.
COURAGE,
From Previous Page
He graduated from college with a
degree in interior design, but was
fired from his first job for being a
disruptive influence: the other
employees spent too much company
time harassing him. They taunted
him with words like "fancy nigger
faggot," and left obscene notes at his
work station .
He sought out his mother and moved
with her into a small apartment. He ·
histories and personal narratives,
the voices of the children - and their
most compelling concerns - are
startlingly clear.
Speaking about peer pressure,
closets, custody issues, families,
sexuality, coming out, school and
friends, · fathers and co-moms, the
authors of Different Mothers examine
cleaned her and dressed her up, but
her mental illness continued to
surface, usually at the most
inappropria te times.
He again realized the need for
God's direction in his life, yet he was
severely criticized . at .his baptism for
having a "Holy Ghost" experience _in
a conservative A.M.E. church.
Undaunted by the numerous
obstructions life had thrown across
his path, his life experiences
consequently leveled off when,
Andrea Natalie's Cartoons
On PBS Documentary
Selections from Andrea Natalie's
new lesbian cartoon book Stonewall
Riots will 'be featured in the PBS
documentary "Funny Ladies," a film
about ·women cartooiiis ts' projected to
be broadcast in February, according to
Venus Press.
Andrea Natalie founded the
Lesbian Cartoonists Network in
September of 1990. The network now
!fas over forty members, including
Alison Bechdel (Dykes to Watch Out
For), Leigh Dunlap (Morgan
·•·Calabrese), Rhonda Dicksion
(Lesbian Survival Manual), ·Roberta
Gregory, Kris Kovick, Noreen Stevens
and Jennifer Camper .
Lesbian cartoonists from around the
world forward ideas and information
to Natalie and receive back a
quarterly free newsletter packed
with a variety of articles, from
syndication to fan mail, written
mostly by the cartoonists themselves.
The cartoonists are extremely
enthused, saying · they feel less
isolated and invisible and more
informed. They are already talking .
about having an informal convention,
forming a guild or group syndicate,
and producing an anthology.
PATLAR··
VOICE OF ~y AMERICA
MONTHLY NEWSMAGAZINE
FREE AT OUR DISTRIBUTION POINTS
SUBSCRIPTIONS $35 ANNUALLY
SAMPLE(~8P~~~
1gtrrirUoSAi $4
FOR INFO ON ADVERTISING :..
CALL 1916) 391-9755 OR 452-0769
PO BOX 22402 SACRAMENTO CA 95822
The Other Publishing Company's
Lesbian & Gay Recovery Bookstore
. Things They Never Told You In Sunday School .
APrimer for the Christian Homosexual by David Day, $7-95 (for a limited lime).
"This book should be read J:,ya nyone who fakes the Bible seriousAllyth.o ugh this book locuse&o n homo-
11exualityit, i s a gilt of liberationt or all people who•~ a~ u~la~ of the 8!b1~8's .
on 11exuali.t.y T his book is a mustf or al gay and lesbianC hri81ianSth, eir friendsa nd their families.
Shsm, Boothman, Presiden~ Samaritan Col/eo8
Also A vallable
I'm Looking For Mr. Right But I'll Settle For Mr. Right Away·.
AIDS,T rue Love, the Pwls of Safe Sex,a nd& other SpirilllalC oncernso f the Gay Maleb y ·
Gregory Flood, $7 .95
Shipj,ing & Handing, 10% of Net Order; Minimum$,1 .25, Maximum$ 5. Calfomia raeideamdd 7s. 25%
Sales Tax. Visa & MaatarCarado capled ff ordeirs accompmliedb y cardI I, Exp Dalll, & Signatu18o f
cardH ofdaf.F or inlonnationo n quanitityp urd,Ma .. ..i disoounlB, !'Ill( 800} 733-1283.
The Other Publishing Company, P.O.· Box 2151, DepL S-5, San Diego, CA 92112c2151
the essential questions children of
Lesbians confront.
One boy, the child of two
now-divorced co-mothers, concludes,
"The hardes t thing about my life
right now is that both my moms are
vegetarians!" And a seven-year-old
girls predicts, "I maybe want to be a
dentist, but I don't know if I want to
be a Lesbian." ·
through his trust in God, he found
self-worth. He learned to love
himself. He sums up his experiences
in the following words: "I know now
that the true texture of my being is
not the color of my skin or my sexual
condition or my social position in life,
it's my soul. The inner man. This is
liberating knowledge. This is inner
healing. I have known the feeling of
helplessness, (therefore) I know
compassion." He seems happy at
last. He has found a job and his
mother is improving.
This book about this courageous life
is well worth searching out and
reading. It should be an inspiration
to our Chri stian community, and
especially to Gays and Lesbians of
color who contend with the
Different Mothers is the<.osequel to
Rafkin's best-selling EiDifferen t
Daughters: A Book by Molhers of
Lesbians (1987). In fac:t, Rafkin
decided to compile Different Mothers
after numerous requests from women
she met while traveling rsacross the
U.S . speaking to au di ences of
Lesbians and their families.
additional obstacle of racism. I do
hope, however, that another
publishing company will have the
foresight to acquire this title and
give it the treatmen t it deserves.
AT LAS'TJ • AN INCLUSIVE DEVOTIONA.iJ ~;a-T LAST!
The R·oad
to Emmaus
Joseph W. Houle, ed. :
!
EMMAUS PRESS . . l
P.O. Box 7.0434 I WashingtonD, .C. Z0024-0434 I (202) 468-3816 i
416 pp. •paperback• $12.95 (plus $?.00 for postage & h:mdling)I
Discounts available on quantity _orders. ·
At last! A Christian devotional for all people - the young and oltir,,the male and
female; the lesbian, the gay man, and the heterosexual; the singlcrt he married,
and the celibate; the Asian, the Black, the Hispanic, the Native ;\Im!dcan, and the
White; the physically strong and the physically challenged.
·contributing authors of Tbe Road to Emmaus - including Sr.Je:innine Gramick
(Homosexuality and tbe Catbolic Church), Fr. Robert Nugent.(Stat.-W.oftbe Cross
for Persons with AIDS), ·and the Rev. Larry Uhrig (Sex Positive) ~ are a blend of
men.and women, laypersons and clergy, Black and White writers.
Special care has been taken to make this devotional inclusive in llmguage, tone,
and content . Its underlying message is that the Gospel is gOO<nIe wStfora ll people.
AT LAST! • AN INCLUSIVE DEVOTIONAi,!. • AT LAST!
. · ·Jan ·uary/February 1991 Ill
/
MASK
Yukio Mishima, the great
author from Japan who
has written many works
about gay life, once wrote
an autobiographical novel
entitled Confessions ofa
Mask. A ve'ry apt title
because many Indonesian
gay men feel it is desirable
or essential to wear a mask
CAREGIVER, From Page 10
treatment, hope, distress, or future
plan. It made us able to work through
anger and sadness, and to cherish the
meaning of our relationship.
Living with AIDS is an emotional
roller coaster . For myself, the feelings
went from anger, to despair, to
sadness, to joy, and back to anger
again. I found that I had a hard time
grieving, and that my feelings were
not always in touch with Ron's. As
time went on I found I had less and
less .energy, both physically and
emotionally, to even deal with my
feelings. I'd play mind-games with
myself: if everything was going well
I would think that it always would;
yet, as caregiver, I had to constantly
COVER STORY,
- a mask which projects
them as heterosexual men
who love women. By
wearing a heterosexual
mask, most gay men feel
they are safe, protected
from scorn or mockery
from the heterosexual
majority when they talk
· about Gays.
stay in iouch with reality -
remaining positive in the short term
and balance that with the long term
reality of AIDS.
This brings me to the subject of
self-care. I did not have all the
answers and often feft guilty for
taking care of myself. There is
always the feeling that the caregiver
is not the one who is sick, so
therefore shouldn't be needy . Yet,
the irony is, I think the caregiver
needs a lot of support and help. I
often felt like saying, "I need to be
taken care of too. I need somebody to
hug me and boost me up. I too have
needs." I only hope that in sharing
my feelings and needs with others
the door to solutions may be opened .
People wear the mask because
they are afraid their families will ·
cut them off, reject them or even kill
them (the last possibility nearly
happened to someonewho wrote to
the Lambda Indonesian.) People
wear the mask because they are
afraid that their close friends will
avoid them or because they are
afraid they will lose their jobs,
which provide them with respect.
People wear the mask because they
are afraid of being painted as sinners
by certain religions . People wear the
mask because thay want to be
considered ""normal" - to have a
spouse and children and project the
image of the "ideal" family; to live
alone is too frightening to them .
Some wise people can wear "their
heterosexual mask but still live a
gay life. Unfortunately, the mask
often turns into shackles and people
are afraid to live out their gay
natures. All of t)leir actions are
limited because they are so afraid of
being found out. Afraid of this,
afraid of that, until finally they
suffer, their longing to love and make
love is unreqtiited ...
We must recognize that wearing a
mask restricts us and blinds us . We
The role of caregiver, although
difficult, is one which puts one in
touch with the real world and helps
I often felt like
saying, "I need to be
taken care of too. I
need somebody to
hug and to boost me
up. I-too have
needs."
one to redefine one's value system, to
discern between the important and
futile in life. It lets one know that
become jealous and envious - where
are the heterosexuals who have to
wear a -mask, who have to hide their
natures as lovers of the opposite sex?
Our. sense of justice is offended and
overthrown. H heterosexuals can -
state their love, even have it
_institutionalized in marriage, why
can't we?
When we reach that level of
awareness ; the mask we wear
suddenly feels oppressive and stifles
us. That is the moment when freedom
can be achieved - the moment when
we say to ourselves and to the outside
_world: "Enough of the play-acting!
Now I want to be myself."
And believe it, especially for those
who hate falseness and dishonesty,
an open gay life is far more healthy
than a life behind the stifling mask.
D. Oetomo, the author of this article,
lives and· writes in Indonesia.
"Mask" first appeared in~
newsletter, P.O. ·Box 5058, Columbia, .
SC29250
every day is worth living to its
fullest, and that it is in giving of
ourselves that we grow and learn of
the true meaning of life. I know that
I will never be the same as before this
experience; something has happened
which will alter my life from now on,
and this, although painful, is_ a very
positive journey.
Ron wrote for his memorial service,
"Prince of life - Jesus - my Savior
teach me to find in death your
invitation to "Corne, follow me.' '. Rid
me of my fears and strengthen every
sinew of my being, to accept in death -
others' or my own - new life and
presence in your love. Let me make of
9eath itself, a gift. Let it be a
reaching out to you ."
FromPage9
students from my home
church, but I don't really
believe the church knows
I'm gay," Garcia said. "I
worked as a youth leader
before -I went to college, and
when I came back home
they asked me to do it
again . I said 'no' because I
have to 'let them know I'm
gay first.
"It's important for
them to know that the
Danny they held in their
hands, the Danny who
went to Seventh-day
Adventist schools all his
life, that Danny is gay."
Garcia says he has
a dream of continuing
outreach to his church at
large. "I envision going
They were able
to see
homosexuality
wasn't a
religious issue
but a human
issue ...
around to different colleges
and talking with students.
God has given me a gift of
talking to people and
handling crowds , I'd.love to
do a circuit of churches arid
· colleges," Garcia said. "My
ministry isn't over yet, and
I'm sure the opportunity
will come in God's time ."
Kevin Gepford is a recent
graduate of Southern College
of Seventh-day
Adventists in Collegedale,
Tenn . He works as a
newspaper reporter in
North Georgia and is editor
of SDA Kinship Connection,
a publication of SDA
Kinship International
which serves gay and
lesbian Seventh-day
Adventists worldwide.
THE SECOND STONE
Travel . □ In demand:
Gay/lesbian crui•s es growing in popularity
By Cynthia Marquard
and Danni Munson
Contributing Writers
The number of cruises for gay men
and Lesbians has been growing
rapidly over the past few years.
Like e-veryone else, Gays and
Lesbians have come to realize that a
cruise represents great value for their
vacation dollars. The passenger ship
serves as hotel, restaurant, and
transportation--all for a single
prepaid fare.
Then there is the comfort of
shipboard travel: Unpack once, and
you're set for the rest of the trip.
Instead of rushing from buses and
taxis to airports or trains, relax in a
deck chair and let the oceanliner
carry you effortlessly from port to
port.
For the health-conscious, these
ships provide a variety of exercise
opportunities , from jogging areas
around the decks to health clubs,
swimming pools, and exercise rooms.
There usually are exercise classes and
aerobics on deck. Then, of course,
there is always the opportunity to
burn off calories by walking or
swimming while in port.
The calories come from the
wonderful gourmet meals for which
ships are noted--prime rib, lobster
tails, chocolate mousse and baked
Alaska. And all food is included in
the price of the cruise.
The first gay cruise was organized in
.1974 by the Islander's Club of New
York City. Then came RSVP's
"Cruise to Remember," which
attracted a mainly male crowd. The
first operation to enter the women's
luxury cruise market in a really big
way was Olivia Records. They
chartered a large passenger liner and
filled a ship with Lesbians for the
first time in 1989. The success of their
first time out to sea prompted them to
do it again in 1990 under the name of
Olivia Cruises. Also in 1990, Robin
Tyler Productions enter~d the cruise
market with a women's trip along the
Mexican Riviera over the
Thanksgiving holiday week. The
gay /lesbian cruise schedule for 1991
is even more exciting.
1991
for
Cruises
Women
Olivia Cruises is offering two allwomen's
sailings. Both of these are
four-day cruises to the Bahamas:
• A Vale .ntine's Cruise from
February 11 to 15, 1991.
• A Summer Bahamas Cruise, from
. July 22 to 26, 1991.
The ship is the 55 Dolphin IV,
which will hold 600 women. It sets
sail from Miami with stops in Key
West, Nassau, and Blue Lagoon, a
private island perfect for swimming
and sunning.
There will also be adventure cruises
available to women in 1991 through
Womantrek. These trips are open to
all ·women, gay or straight, and are
aboard motor yachts or sailing
vessels:
• Galapagos Island Cruise, from
January 12 to 24, 1991
• Caribbean Yacht Cruise,
departing for eight days on Feb. 16,
1991
A new entry in the women's cruise
market cames from Sea Safari
Sailing of St. Petersburg, Fla. They
are offering two women's sailings in
the Gulf of Mexico in 1991 aboard the
catamaran Inanna:
• Superbowl on Tampa Bay, from
January 25 through 27
• Women's Gulf Cruise, from March
29 through April 7
1991 Cruises
for Men
The largest gay /lesbian cruise
operator is still RSVP Travel
Productions. Although all RSVP
cruises are open to women, the
percentage of women who book these
cruises is very low. There are nine
RSVP cruises or cruise combinations
available:
• Tropical Caribbean, February 17 to
24, from Miami, with stops in St.
Martin, Martinique, Antigua, and San
Juan.
• Deep Caribbean, February 24 to
March 3, from San Juan, with stops in
Barbados, Guadeloupe, . Tortola, and
Miami.
• Western Caribbean, March 3 to .10,
from Miami, with stops in Jamaica,
Playa del Carmen, and Cozumel.
• 14-Day Tropical and Deep
Caribbean Combo, February 17 to
March 3.
• 14-Day Deep and Western
Caribbean Combo, · February 24 to
March 10.
• 21-Day Grand Caribbean Combo,
February 17 to March 10. ,
• Mexican Riviera, March 23 to
March 30, from San Diego, with stops
in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and
Puerto Vallarta.
•. French Canada, June 29 to July 6,
from Montreal, with stops in Quebec
City; Portland, Maine; Provincetown,
and New York City .
• Adventure Cruise, October 27 to
November 3, featuring snorkeling,
SCUBA diving, wind sailing, and
other water sports from St.
Petersburg, to Playa del Carmen,
Cozumel, and Honduras.
Advance/Damron, a new team
composed of Advance Travel and the
Damron Company, are offering three
adventure cruises for men aboard
yachts or sail boats:
• New England sailing and cycling
trip, June 16 through June 20.
• Greek Islands cruise aboard the
yacht Doubleforce, September 1
through 7.
• Windjammer Cruise to Polynesia,
from October 7 through November 2.
Oceanliner, Yach t,
or Sailboat?
Reflecting the growing popularity
of gay /lesbian cruises is the growing
variety of types of cruises aboard
either oceanliners, motor yachts, or
sail boats. There are a number of
important differences among the
cruise experiences. The first is the
size of the vessel. Oceanliners range
upward in size from about one city
block in length; the smallest carry
about 200 and the largest about 1,200
passengers; the average is 600 to 800.
Sailing ships and motor yachts are
much smaller, usually
accommodating Jess than 100
passengers--sometimes much less. The
catamaran Inanna has only two
cabins.
Sailing ships offer the most
adventurous cruising experience and a
feeling of being closer to the sea than
do liners or motor launches. When
sailing vessels cut through the water,
their decks are often tilted and
sometimes at a fairly steep angle,
depending on the speed of the ship,
the velocity of the wind, and the set
of the sails . Oceanliners, being under
power, plough straight ahead
through the waves. In rough seas,
they might pitch a bit, but most large
liners have stabilizers to prevent
sideways roll and provide a pretty
smooth ride. Motor launches are
somewhere . in between, being less at
the mercy of the wind than a sailing
ship, but offering a rougher ride than
an oceanliner.
Ports of call are also different for
liners, yachts, and sailing ships. The
smaller the vessel, the greater the
January/February 1991
In addition to gay cruises, there are
regularly scheduled voyages aboard
other passenger liners on which many
gay men. and Lesbians would feel
comfortable. But choosing the right
cruise and making all the other
arrangements--air transport to the
port from which the ship sails,
transfers, side trips before or after,
hotel accommodations if necessary-can
be tricky. There are gay/lesbian
travel agents especially equipped to
give you invaluable advice that can
save you time and money in arranging
your cruise--and this advice costs you
nothing. These agents, through the
International Gay Travel Association
(IGTA), keep in close touch with the
gay and lesbian cruise operators, in
addition to providing all other
travel services.
Cynthia A. Marquard is the
owner/manager of Envoy Travel, Inc.,
in Chicago and vice-president of the
International Gay Travel Assn.
Danni Munson is the editor and
publisher of The Lesbian and Gay
Almanac and Events of 1991.
/.J'· ~--''"'t,, J·J"~ - ,~.,':r, ~-<_-, ~G 0-, "
~
/
. hlan~ GJnn
A Gay Country Inn •..
On 100 beautiful acres with
pool, hot tub, skii~g ~nd more.
Innkeepers .Judith Ha1l and Grace
Newman ir1v!tey ou to write or
call for a brochure.
P. 0. Box JlS SL
Bethlehem, NH 03574
(603) 869-3978
the "other" place
undtr tht · sun ...
:iid'~t='- ~~~ \i~,:::ch •Pool & c:01:yJ acuzzi
•FrH c:oatlaental bnakfast
Write or call for brochure.
120 E. Atol St., P. 0. Box 2326
South Padre Island. Texas, 78597
(512)761-LY LE
Air connections via
American Continental Southwest '
l ·
Parting Thought □ Join the c ·hristian Coalition Against Mixed Fabrics
Ed. No·te: This issue's parting
thought is reprinted from The Light
of Christ, the newsletter of Lutherans
Concerned/Los Angeles. It was
written by Sister Polly Esther.
Sin! Perversion! Ungod liness!
These are the words that come to
mind when I see such disrespect for
the Laws of God as is flaunted
shame lessly on the streets every day.
American society is in moral decay
and it is because we tolerate people
who engage in blatant disrespect for
God's law. 1 am of course referring to
the immoral transgression of the
Biblical Law clearly stated in
Leviticus Chapter 19, Verse 19:
"Neit her sha ll a garment mingled of
different fabrics come upon thee."
No com m andment could be more
d irect or easy to understand. Yet you
can see people out on the streets every
day, shamelessly wearing flanne l
~ h ;~;;: ae<ylk
The Post Office will not
forward The Second Stone.
You must notify us for
uninterrupted service if you move.
. . Ba
Please notify us four weeks in aOvance for
uninterrupted delivery . Send both old and new
addresses. If possible attach mailing labe l in
space provided.
PRINT .
NEW ADDRESS
t 2 ~ f
Cl) '< ~ (ti
N ;; ·
(')
g_
<1>
Send completed for m to:
THE SECOND STONE
Box 8340
New Orleans, LA 70182
blended with cot ton, and all manner
of other sinful combinat ions one could
imagi n e in a nightmare. Satan
certainly has a stranglehold on the
fash ion industry.
And what's even worse - these
Godless garment-makers flaunt their
perverse m ixed fabrics in front of
children. (I've even heard that some
of them like to dress children in
mixed fabrics, but this sin is just too ,
perverse for further elaboration ...
and of course, all peop le who wear
mixed fabrics have a secret or overt
desire to dress children in the same
way.)
during prime time I might add.)
Clearly our country is in a state of
moral decline, and I hope you will.
join me in my campaign to dress
Classifieds ·
Books & Publications
EMERGE! A healing journal of EMERGENCE
International: Christian Scientists Supporting
Lesbians and Gay Men. For information and
subscriptions write P.O. Box 581, Kentfietd,
CA 94914, or call (415)485-1881. 2/91
"WONDERFUL DIVERSITY," "Heartily
recommended," "Philosophically inlriguing,"
"Excellent." Why do reviewers highly'esteem
CHRISTIAN'NEW AGE QUARTERLY?
Great articles and lively columns make this
bridge of dialogue between Christians and
New Agers as entertaining as it is substantive.
America properly. Please support me
and my Christian Coalit i on Against
Mixed Fabrics. And remember , God is
on our side. Bless you.
□ Organizations
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT
JOINING A MONASTERY? Have you ever
thought of becoming a religious? Do you have
strong religious convictions? Have you ever
felt that because of your life style religious
life would not be agreeable to you? If you have
answered YES to any of the above questions,
we would like to hear from you. Let us know
how you would feel about living in a religious
community life. A group of gay religious
Brothers living and working together in the
world, with strong religious ideals helping and
caring for one another. Please write to:
Now let's suppose that a mixed
fabric-wearer wanted to become a
foster parent. The Commonwealth of
Massachusetts would allow it! I
know it is shocking, but there are no
questions on the application referring
Satan certainly has a
stranglehold on the
fashion industry.
. Subscribe for only $12.50/yr. Or sample us
for $3.50. CHRISTIAN'NEW AGE .
QUARTERLY, PO Box 276, Clifton, NJ.
07011-0276. TF
Ecumenical Order of: The Brothers of The
Mercy of God, Suite 212/341 East Center
Street, Manchester, CT 06040. 2/91
to this sin. No one asks if the child
will be exposed to mixed fabrics or
DISCOVER THE RELATIONSHli' between
spirituality and therapy -Book- For
information SASE: Box 201, Cape Collage,
ME 04107. 2/91
WRITER SEEKS INFORMATION on Upstairs
Lounge fire in New Orleans in 1973. Many MCC
members involved. 32 killed altogether. I want
to write character portraits as part of my
book. A 215-page first draft is already being
reviewed by an editor, but there are still
· 'might even be coerced into wearing
them. We should spend tax dollars to
study the effects of mixed fabrics on
impressionable children, though I am
· several people about which I know very little.
THERE IS A LITTLE KNOWN tradilion of
Catholic Christianily more ancient than
Orlhodoxy or mainstream Catholicism, yet
contemporary in its approach to
psychospiritual unfoldment and completely
non-exclusionary. SI. Thomas Free Catholic
Apostolate, an apostolically valid Catholic
Communion, invites Gay and Lesbian Christians
to participate in open sacramental worship and
eucharistic fellowship. Involvement in pursuing
Holy Orders is also warmly welcomed,
irrespective or race, creed, sex or affeclional
disposition. Weekly masses Sundays at 1 :00
p.m., University of Pennsylvania Christian
Association Chapel, 3601 Locust Walk,
Philadelphia, PA. For information call
(609)231-1469 or write: STFCA, Box 610,
Rancocas, NJ 08073-0610. 2/91
. sure it has a negative effect.
And what of our so-called leaders?
Just the other day I saw the Rev.
jerry Falwell on national television
wearing a cotton-poly blend! And all
this talk of scandal - who cares what
goes on behind · closed doors w·hen
these men casually flaunt the Word
of God in front of everyone (and
Any info or photos would be helpful. Johnny
Townsend, 4804 Pike Dr., Metairie, LA
70003. 2/91
Employment
ADMINISTRATIVE DIRECTOR for lesbian/
feminist agency, beginning March. Salary:
$22,000-$26,000, benefits. Write for
information: Kinheart Personnel Committee,
2214 Ridge, Evanston, IL 60201. EOE. 2/91.
Classified Order Form
FOR ONLY 35 CENTS
PER WORD, your ad
can appear in the next
edition of
SECOND STONE.
Take advantage of our low ·
cost (but high profile)
classified section by placing
your advertising order
today!
Mail To: THESECONDSTONE
P.O.Box8340
New Orleans, IA 70182
Name ____________ ~
Address __________ _
City / St./Zip ________ _
AD COPY ________ _
--------------------- ---------
-----·----------------------------------
__ words X .35= $
20 word minimum. All classifieds
m.ust be pre -paid. Deadline one month
prior to cover date. We will mail you a
copy ofthe.edition(s) in which your ad
appears
January/February 1991
Try a Second Stone
Classified ·Ad
Please place my ad in these
issues: [] Jan/Feb [] Mar/Apr
[.] May/Jun [] Jul/Aug
. [ ) Sept/Oct [ ] Nov/Dec
. CLASSIFICATIONS
I ] Books & Publications
[ ] Business Opportunities
[ J Employment
[] Friends/Relationships
[ ] General Interest
[ ] Mail Order
[ ] Merchandise
[ ] Organizations
[ l Professional Services
[ l Real Estate
[ l Retreats
[ ] Roommates
[ ]Travel