Second Stone #33 - Mar/Apr 1994
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Title
Second Stone #33 - Mar/Apr 1994
Issue Item Type Metadata
Issue Number
33
Publication Year
1994
Publication Date
Mar/Apr 1994
Text
OOR SIXTH YEAR MARCtVAPAIL, 1994 ISSUE 133
~Suicide ends saga
of troubled gay
Episcopal priest
B Y THE VOICE OF INTEGR I TY
Early Sunday morning,
September 19, 1993, the
Rev. Herbert G.
McCarriar, Jr., of
Coudersport, Penn. jumped to
his death from the ninth floor
of a hotel in Williamsport,
Penn. McCarriar was vicar
of Christ Church, Coudersport
and a mission in Brookland,
Penn. He ·was a pastor with a
reputation for "sticking his
SEE SUICIDE, Page 16
- ... ~v:" ..,-,:.~""" • ,_~;:,;- · ' _ SUBSCRIBE NOW ONE
Trad1\1onal Values Preachers
THROWING STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE
FAMILY VALUES
or .
DIRTY LAUNDRY?
BY JOHNN Y TOWNSEND
cause : Now, we.'re not . ., .~.,... · . ., •.;' . ; . :' ;.. . :-
· _ 1,iarsc l:,uJ if wtdici .~toop ~Qi
, their ~tr:ategy,,here's how i
. it would go. :
Ed Note: For th e benefit of first time
readers, S econd Stone is a Christi an
newsjourna l that affirms the val ue
and digni ty of gay and lesb ian peo•
pie. Th is arti cle, written to expose
the strategy of the right wing, is
satirically written.
T he rallying cry of "family
v alues" to fight against g ay
privilege is far too late in
getting started . Families are,
after all, the main re ason God ·condemns
Gays and Lesbians, because
they not only are incapable of the
love necessary to strengthen families,
but they are also act ively seeking lo
destroy other people's families.
They divorce their spouses in order
to "come out" and live a life of hedonistic
pleasur e, ab andoning th e ir
spouses and their children . They
bre ak their parents' hearts by
flagrantly leaving the fold of God and
P. 0. Box8340
New Orleans, IA 70182
Address Correction Requested
blatantly throwing it in their par ents'
faces. And they generally support
abortion rights, endorsing the literal
killing of millions of unborn children
e very yea r . We must stand up
against Gays and Lesbians and wake
Americ a up · to th e impo rtan ce of
family valu es . .
Think of the strength and love of
Mississippi parents Albert and Helen
White, who when their son started
hint ing he might be gay, nipped the
sin in the bud. "If I had a son who
was gay," Helen said, "I hope he'd
never tell me ." Albert stood up for
the family even more strongly. "I'd
rather hear my son was dead than
that he was gay," he said. Their son
slit his wrists two w eeks later,
proving the neces sity of their ha rd
line stance. Only Gays would be so
anti-family as to try to destroy it
through the grave sin of suicide.
Gays ancf Lesbians, despite their
obvious attempt to gain special rights
by denying rights to Christians, are
trying to pretend they only want
equal rights . Two women in Florida,
Clara N. and Deanna S., even went to
the expense of adopting a child from
Korea in order to pretend to be a
family . Cl ara and Deanna, rather
than have families of their own, had
been living togeth~r in despicable sin
for ov er 15 y ears before they de cided
to adopt this innocent child . to further
th eir political agenda. After two
years, they applied at a local zoo for a
family pass and were denied. Then
SEE COVER STORY,Page 14
BULK RATE
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
NEW ORLEANS, LA
PERMIT No. 511
T , From the Editor T ....... . ...................... .
Get the words right
for those dirty deeds
By Jim Bailey
An idea occurred to some youth at a gathering of the Southern Baptist
Convention a couple of years ago and it has since caught on in some oth er
denominations. "True Love Waifs" is a program in which young people make
a commitment not to engage in sexual intercourse until they marry. It's
unconv entional thinking a_mong adolescents and I admire those who are
giVJng this some'!hought. Of course, this is talk show material. People seem
genumely surprised that there are teenagers out there who, m spite of a
barrage of sexual imagery in the media and entertainment, have not mastered
walking orgasm .
This one earticular talk show pitted the True Love Waits kids against the
back-0f-the-bus crowd. One teenage boy kept glancing rather lustfully at the ·
TLW girls and said, no, he hadn't signed up for True .Love Waits . He
wantea to keep his options open. Very open, as in right after the show,
maybe.
Then the show got confusing. Words like celibacy, fidelity, monogamy,
fornication, and so on, got thrown around and . suddenly no one was
speaking a common lijnguage anymore . It was much like being with a
. gay /lesoian group when ihose same words pop up.
Most of these misused words describe some condition relating to marriage
in the traditional sense and cannot really accurately be applied to gay and
lesbian relationships.
_ Monogamy does not have to do with sex. It literally means "one marriage."
It can mean one marriage for a lifetime, in which case even very few
heterosexuals could be considered monogamous, or-it can mean one marriage
at a time . Monogamy is therefore not the best word to use to describe a
relationship (unmarried) involving exclusive sexual partners.
Celibacy is the state of not being married or of having made a-vow not to
. marry. Only by extension of this definition does it mean abstaining from
sexual intercourse (because the celibate person is not married and therefore
should not have sex.) Celibacy bests describes a person in relation to
marriage, not sex.
Fornication also has to do with marriage . It describes sexual intercourse
.between people other than a married couple. Fornication is sex outside of
marriage. (AIi gay and lesbian sexual intercourse in any country that does
not recognize gay marriage is therefore fornication.)
Adultery is sexual intercourse with som~ne oth er than the . marriage
partner. If a married partner has sexual intercourse with a single person,
the married person has committed adultery and the single person may be said
to have engaged in fornication. ·
Most of these words describe some condition relating to marriage , which
does not include, in any part of the ·U .S., gay and lesbian committ ed
relationships.
If a gay man or lesbian is waiting for love before engaging in sexual
.intercourse, does the word chaste describe their situtationT It might, but
·only if the individual had not previously engaged in same-genaer sex
activity in a state which has laws prohibiting such . Being chaste means
being mnocentof unlawful sexual intercourse . .
l\ny gay or heterosexual person abstaining from sexual intercourse
outside of a commited relationship (or marriage) can be said to be practicing
fidelity to that condition . A gay or lesbian person who has sexual
intercourse with only the person to whom he or she is committed is also
practicing fidelity. (But the act of sexual intercourse would best be
aescribeO, in countries wher e ga7 marriage is not legally recognized, as
fornication.) Fidelity is the state o being faithful . to something which one is
bound by pledge. (Marr ied heterosexuals practicing fidelity may also be
said to be mon~amous.)
There will be a pop qui z on this later.
Thanks for the very i!ood response to our reader survey in this past issue.
w •• ,"'."""'°'" ~,,.,,. <2------------~
SECOND STONE Newsjoumal, ISSN No. 1047-3971, is published every other
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Copyright 1994 by Second Stone, a registered trademark.
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SECOND ~TONE, a national ecumenical Christian social justice newsjoumal
with a specific out~each to sexual orientation minorities.
PUBLISHER/EDITOR: Jim Bailey
CONTRIBUTORS FOR THIS ISSUE: Rev . Rich a rd B. Gilbert ,
Rev . Dr. Buddy Truluck. Johnny Town send
~J Second Stone-March/April, 1994
THE NA flONAL ECUMENICAL CHRISTIAN
NEWSJOURNAL FOR LESBIANS, GAYS AND BISEXUALS
Contents ......... ... . ..... ~ ....... .. . rn
[[]
From The Editor
You're definitely not monogamous
Letters/Commentary
When you don't like it, but you can~ leave it
!fl Newslines Liu -
1117 .The Last Supper · L!!J The first communion, by Rev. Dr. Buddy Truluck
• Communication Ministry / I 7. / A safe place for gay Catholic nuns,
~ brothers and priests
- . .
Love Will Find a Way ·
. The door was open for coming out
Cover Story
The propaganda of "family values"
\ 16 \ The Death of Fr. McCarriar
In Print
Andrew, You Died'Too Soon ,
· Reviewed by Rev . Richard Gilbert
•'181· Calendar L!QJ
I 19 I Noteworthy
120 I Classifieds
:comment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ................ . • ...
Like it or leave it
: By Johnny Townsend
· Guest Comment N ow that I am out of the Mormon
Church (I asked to be excommunicated),
why do I still care
what the Church believes? A
Latter Day Saint friend smugly asked
me why, if I was comfortable with my
: life, did I feel a need to justify myself
: to the Church. He said, "Nobody is
forcing you to be affiliated with the
. Church," but this is, in fact, my point,
: that I am forced into affiliation. How
. can I not be affiliated when my
parents, sister, grandmother, and two
sets of aunts, uncles, and cousins are
members? How can the position of
: the Church have no effect on me
: when not only my family but several
: of my friends are also LOS?
Besides, Church membership is
more than an "affiliation." It is a
deeply embedded way of life. One
doesn't change one's life overnight
: the way one can change clothes or
- dye one's hair. Wheri I moved to
: Italy for my mission, culture shock
: lasted almost a year. When I moved
back to America (my homeland, for
goodness' sake), it lasted six months
as I adjusted all .over again. I would
: suggest that changing a physical
: environment, while it can cause major
: adjustment problems, is not nearly
_ the traumatic event that changing
one 's internal environment, one'.s
belief system and program for life, is.
Even today, ten years after my return
from Italy, I can't watch a movie sef in
that country without feeling a very
, deep sense of longing. Simple
: watching Greystoke, about an English:
man being torn between Africa and
: England, · makes me miss Italy
: deeply, and I was only in Italy two
years, versus fifteen years in the
Church. So to claim that I am not
forced into affiliation with the Church,
when all my family, some of my
friends (all of them at one time in my
life), and my past and my insides are
I am affiliated for
life to an unjust
organization,
and I have a
right and a duty.
to say so.
all deeply connected to the Church, to
me is not a sound argument.
Further, I feel a strong ki1)ship with
other gay Mormons. Even if I'm
happy where I am, does this mean I
have no obligation to help the many
thousands of people who are going
z._f;!;.( Pontius' Puddle
0
through the incredible agony I
experienced for years? Don't I have a
moral obligation to lessen their
suffering?
"If you don't like the Church, leave
it and be done with it." This is in
many respects the same argument
avplied to anyone who protests any
policy of the U.S. government.
Because I don't thirik blacks should sit
at the back of the bus, rather than say
this is wrong or try to do anything
about it, I should just move to France
or Japan and leave the oppressed
blacks in their predicament. Rather
than protest the abuse of the environment,
I should move to New Zealand
and let the Americans destroy the
countryside . Leaving without trying
to make things better hardly seems
like the most noble goal in the world.
As long as I'm happy in Hawaii, I can
let the people in the Love Canal toxic
-waste dump suffer. To try to help
them would prove I didn't really like
living in Hawaii after all.
So, in response to _my friend's
YourTum
unasked but hinted at question, no, I
don't really feel deep inside that I'm·
sinning, that the Church really is
right after all. I care what the Church -
says about Gays because I _ want to
make life easier for myself by not
being condemned by friends ' and
family, or if not condemned, pitied,
and to make life easier for other gay
Mormons. Of course, life isn't supposed
to be easy. Or fair. So I guess
then it's okay to refuse women the
right to vote. And blacks the right to
an education. They're supposed to
suffer, aren't they?
Certainly, we have to accept that
there are injustices in the world, but
I'm not convinced God doesn't want ·
us to do anything about them, for fear
we might make life too easy for
someone. Let's leave it up to him to
decide what problems we need to
face. We don't need to create or
condone man-made suffering on
anyone. I am affiliated 'for life to an
unjust organization, and I have a
right and a duty to say so.
..._
............................ ........... " ................................ .
Brooklyn, New York
Cancel
his
subscription
Dear Second Stone,
A few days ago I received the first
issue of a gift subscription to Second
Stone. I have rarely been so irritated
by so many instances of bad grammar,
misused words, wrong word
breaks and general editorial sloppiness.
By the time I had read the first
two pages, I had given up.
Examples? In the editorial on page
one, "But beyond that, and more
importantly, conferences ... " What
you undoubtedly mean is: ''But, beyond
that, and [it is) more important,
conferences ... " As to misused words: ·
"taught hair net." Surely the word is
"taut." Word breaks? It is "reli-gion"
not "rel-igion," "knowl-edge," not
"know-ledge." And on and on and
on.
And in addition, my name is
incorrectly spelled on the mailing
label. I do not know why I was sent a
gift subscription. However, I do
know that I have absolutely no
interest in receiving your m~gazine.
Sincerely,
AMS
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Editorial
appreciated
Dear Second Stone,
I wanted to take a moment to let
you know that the editorial [Weak
Faith and Voice From Many Gay and
Lesbian Churches and Organizations]
in the last issue touched me very
much: It was full of tilings that I have
said myself and I believe it was right
on .
I am pastoring a new independent
work here in Albuquerque . We have
about 30 or 35 who are in some stage
of association with us and have found
a wonderful building to rent. Much
of the ministry that God has done
through me in the past has been
Bible teaching and leading in praise
and worship on worship team~. -We
have already assembled a worship
team and are working on contemporary
Christian music with those wonderful
soaring harmonies. We are
taping all of the services, and are
investigating duplication services so
that we can have solid Biblical
teaching available for others. We
even have space in the building for a
bookstore. Church is fun again!
Blessings in Christ,
Pmnela ·white
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News Lines ·~• . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
· Openly gay Episcopal deacon ordained in Pennsylvania
· 6.DESPITE THE PRESENCE of about a dozen ·protestors, the Rev. James B.
Robertson, an openly gay man, was ordained to the vocational diacortate at
St. Asaph's Episcopal Church in Bala Cynwyd, Penn. Robertson has lived in
a committed relationship with another man for over 20 years. Speaking at the
point in the service where obj~ctions may be rais ed, the Re v . David Moyer,
rector of the Church of the Good Shepherd in Rosemont, Penn., told the
ordaining bishop, the Rt. Rev. Allen L. Bartlett, Jr., that "you will hurt the
Diocese of Pennsylvania if you do this." Moyer and four laymen who spoke
claimed that the ordination was an "illegal act" that would flout the
"discipline of the Church." Bartlett respondea that the "compassion of Christ
and the compassion of the church encompass both you and what we do here
today." - The Vorce of Integrity
Gay Lutheran pastor defrocked
6.P ASTOR ROSS MERKEL of St. Pa.ul Church in Oakland, Calif., has been
ordered "removed from the ordained ministry of the Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America, effective March 25, 1994" by a church discipline
committee. Members of the congregation are expected to defy the committee's
order. As a result of publicly commg out to his congregation iriJune of 1993,
Bishop Lyle Miller brought formal charges against Merkel on December 15,
1993 citing the constitution of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America:
"Practicing homosexual persons are precluded from the ordained ministry of
this churcb." As a gay man in a committed relationship, Merkel has been
charged with "conduct incompatible with the character of the ministerial
office." "I'm not angry and I'm not afraid," said Merkel. "I feel as if my life is
more complete and tli.at I have fewer barriers to maintain, because now there
is no great secret to protect. All of that energy is freed up for more productive
things." - Mvent
Gay pro-life group commemorates Roe v. Wade
6.TWELVE MEMBERS of the Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians joined
50,000 other pro-life activists on January 21 for the 20th Annual March for
Life commemorating the announcement of Roe v. Wade on January 22, 1973.
The PLAGAL marcliers, one woman and eleven men, came from Boston, D.C.,
Philadelphia, . and central Pennsylvania. "I feel like I stick out like a sore
thumb in the gay community," said Donna Marie Kearney, a lesbian member bf.
PLAGAL, wfien interviewed by Bay Windaws. "So I pretty much stay away
from gay events. I just won't get involved with groups that aren't consistent
with my views against violence ·in all £.irms. I. won 't stand with
fundamentalist ~hnstians who are opposed to gar, rights, and !'won't stand
there and support Lesbians who are pro-abortion . ' THe group was joined by
a 20-year-old l$ay man who was unaware of PLAGAL. He had prepared a
gay-oriented sign a.nd boarded a bus to witness his support as a pro-life gay
man, expecting to be the only one. Rally speakers refrained from remarks even .
possibly homophobic, a distinct and welcome imfrovement over some past
years, according to PLAGAL members. Straigh pro-lifers were generally
friendly and encouraging, asking about information on PLAGAL and shaking
hands . Concerned Women for America was reported in the D.C. media to the
"proud to work with pro-life homosexuals." Janet Parshall, assis tant to the
president of CWA, stated, "We would welcome them with open arms. If their
singular cause is pro-life, we'd march anytime, anywhere with them." For
information on P'CAGAL, contact the group at P.O. Box 33292, Washington,
· DC 20033, (202)223-0697.
Philippine cardinal condemns condom use
6.CARDINAL JAIME SIN, the Catholic archbishop of Manila and the most
·. influential religious official in the Philippines has declared that health
authorities who promote contraception are "evil" and that young people
shouldn't believe that condoms can prevent transmission of HIV. "Do not be
deceived by those who say that sexually transmitted diseases can be stopped
by external devices and gadets," Sin said. "Man-made devices are bouna to
fail." - Outlines
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[IJ Second Stonc-Marcli/April, 1994
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Rev. Phelps to become Gov. Phelps?
CiREV. FRED W, PHELPS, SR., who has made a name for himself by picketing
the funerals and memorial services of gay men who died of AIDS and berating
thei_r families and friends for supporting "fags," said last week that he will
decide. w1thm a month whether to launch a full blown campaign for the
Dem_ocratic nomination for governor of Kansas in the August primary
election. Phelps, an unsuccessful candidate for the Democratic nomination for
governor of Kansas in 1990 and U.S. Senator in 1992, filed a statement Jan . 6
with the •commission on Governmental Standards and Conduct naming the
treasurer of his candidate committee. Phelps called his fellow nomination
candidates "three blind mice, stumbling around out there looking for an issue;
they're three peas in a pod on these fag-loving, baby-killing issues."
- Southern Vorce
No blessings for gay relationships,
says N. C. diocese
CiNORTH CAROLINA EPISCOPALIANS turned down a proposal to ask the
national church to create a blessing ceremony for gay and lesbian
relationships. The clergy voted _73-57 against a _resolution asking for such
ntes. To be approved, tfie resolution needed a ma1oritv of both the clergy and
lay delegate groups at the Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina's 178th
annual convention. When the reso1ution failed among the clergy, the lay
members did not vote.
- Associated Press
Vatican blasts statements about Pope and HIV
t-.VATICAN OFFICIALS have sharply criticized an Italian television
personality for suggesting that Pope John Paul may have been infected with
HIV as a result of a blood transfusion when he was shot in an assassination
attempt in 1981. Mino Damato said during an Italian TV program that the
Pope had developed a virus "often associated with HIV and AIDS su fferers."
Joaquin Navarro-Valls , the Vatican's chief spokesperson, said it had been
reported at the time that Pope John Paul had contracted cytomegalovirus
during a 1981 transfusign and that it was hardly news and that the infection
is not restricte\i to people with HIV. "It appears to me that to f'resent these
facts now as news, whlle talking about another sickness that is clinically ...
different, is superficial and forced," said Navarro-Valls. "It is deplorable to
formulate, wifh regard . to someone who has the right to b.e respected,
diagnostic hypotheses based on presumptions:, especially by.someone who
does not have the scientific credentials to do so . - Outlines
Chicago p~rish leaves Episcopal Church over gay issues
t-.THE REV. WILLIAM BEASLEY, Rector of the Church of the Resurrection
in West Chicago,. and his wife Anne, the parish's deacon assista _nt'. asked
Bishop Frank Griswold of Chicago to release them from their ordination
vows because they could "no longer in good conscience" be in communion with
the bishop as the ecclesiastical authority of the diocese. The ·Beasleys said .
that they made the request because of Griswold's sympathetic stance on the
participation of homosexuals in the life and ministry of the diocese. By
allegedJy reducing biblical authority to an advisor[ statu ·s in order ''.to
sanction the ordination and sustaining in ministry o priests who practice
homosexuality," the bishop and the diocese, they charged, have abandoned the
church's historic faith and doctrine. In . a separate letter, Resurrection's
vestry announced they would also disassociate themselves from the diocese.
- The Vorce of Integrity
ELCA sexuality study director
may be considered for bishop .
6.DELEGATES TO THE Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's 1994
Sierra Pacific Synod convention will choose from 17 men and women who
have agreed to have their names put forward as bish op candidates. Among
the names: Karen Bloomquist, who headed up the task force that produced the
controversial first draft of the ELCA's statement on sexuality. Bloomquist
will probably not be seen as a serious candidate, accordin_g to Advent, but
she may end up as a spoiler if she divides the vote of the small but determined
group of delegates that has already decided to "vote for a woman, no matter
what."
Eliminate Gays by genetic engineering,
says former religious leader
t-.LORD JAKOBOVITS, a former leader of Britain's Orthodox Jews, has
called for genetic engineering to eliminate the homosexual orientation ·. "If we
could, by some form of genetic en!$ineering, eliminate these trends, we should,
as long as it is done for theral?,euhc purpose." He calls Gays "unnatural" and
equates homosexuality with 'stealing, adultery and murder.'' Other Jewish
leaders have resoundingly condemned Lord )akobovits for his remarks
including Rabbi Stephen Howard, head of Britain's Union of Liberal and
Pr~ressive Synag~ues. - Cruise
QUOTABLE
"You have radicals in your group, too. They painted the
word 'faggot' all over my house."
- Lou Sheldon, when asked about anti-choice
extremists who have murdered doctors who
perform abortions
·News Lines
~ .................................. .
Seminary sponsors ex-gay training
t.THE 1RINITY_ SCHOOL for_ Ministry in Ambridge, Penn., the Episcopal
Churchs most right-wmg semmary, recently conducted training for-persons
"to minister to the sexually broken," including Gays, Lesbians and survivors
of sexual abuse. To meet what.it calls "the urgent need" for such training,
-Trinity sponsored its '_'Living Waters Leadership School" in January. This 1s
beheved to be the first such course at a semmary of any mainstream
denomination in North America. Trinity's dean and president, the Rt Rev.
William C. Frey, has long been associated with so-called ex-gay n1inistries.
The program, called "Living Waters Sexual Redemption in Christ," was
devised_oy Andrew Comiskey, 35, a self-proclaimed ex-gay now married with
four children, and a pastor of the Vineyard Christian Fellowship in Santa
Monica, Calif., an independent evangelical church. - T7ze Voice of Integrity
· Gay organist forced to resign
from Presbyterian Church
t.ROBERT PLIMPTON, an internationally known organist who has played
the pipe organ at San Diego's First Presb:,,terian Church for 11 years, has
resigned because of recent decisions by church elders. In a Jetter to the
1,100-member congregation, the church's ruling body declared that there is no
place at First Presbyterian for employees wno participate in, endorse or
support "deviant sexual behavior such as fornicahon and homosexuality." "I
was not closeted.," PJimpton said, "but... I also have a very strong conviction
that anY.one who claims Christ as their personal Savior has a place in the
church . ' - Union-Tribune
. Half of wars waged have a religious root
. ·t,ABOUT HALF OF the 50 wars waged every year throughout the world
. have a religous background, reports a recent survey by the Development and
Pea·ce Foundation in Bonn, Germany . . Lutheran World Inf_ormatwn reports
· · that the survey shows that most religiously motivated conflicts began m the
. 1990s·. The longest lasting are the religiously motivated conflicts in the
·: Middle East and Northern Ireland. Durmg the past year, wars based on
·religion broke out in Afghanistan, Tadzhikistan and India. Religions in the
Asian successor states (such as Tadzhikistan) of the former Soviet Union are
_particularly "ethno-nationalist" in character . The reseachers state that
religious tensions are often related to the "existential conflicts" leading to
war. "The meaning of life seems to be threatened, and thus religiously
motivated wars are often fought in a more obdurate, unrelenting and brutal
\YBY than , 0"1ers." --. B.eligion Wat cit · ·
Lutheran staffer with AIDS comes out, resigns
t,PHIL KNUTSON, an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America staff member
at churchwide offices in Chicago, was recently diagnosed with AIDS and .has
.resigned his position . At the same time he came out to his co-workers as a gay
man. Knutson, was has been HIV positive for seven years, said, "It is
, :somewhat of a relief to have the seven years of waiting over and the secret
oul But that relief is minor compared to the relief that finally living a lifetime
of half-truths about my lifestyle is coming to a close." Knutson sent an open
letter via electronic mail to ELCA church headquarters staff, in which he
described what he called his dark and lonely journey. "There was no one to
talk with about the grief of a broken relationship," he wrote, "there was no
daring on my part to risk talking ·back to people who spoke hatefully about
my lifestyle m front of me; I dicf not dare to advocate publicly for tli.e equal
treatment of gay and lesbian people; I suffered with the predecessor church
body statements on sexuality which placed me in the same category with
'.murderers and fornicators'; most recently - a few da:,,s after the draft on
human sexuality came out- I sat with some bishops and their staffs and had to
. listen to them denounce the statement as sometfung that should not even be
published, much less studied ." - Advent
Domino's head honors Dr. Dobson
· tlTOM MONAGHAN, head of Domino's Pizza, recently awarded Dr. James
Dobson the Domino's Humanitarian Award. Dobson, president of Focus on
the Family based in Colorado Springs, is one of the leading opponents of gay
rights and a primary supporter of Colorado's anti-gay ana unconstitutional
Amendment 2. • Seattle Gay N= . ·
Atlanta church boots anti-gay political group
MT THE URGING of a number of progressive lobbyists and at least one
state legislator, the Central Presbyterian Church, Atlanta, has asked Nancy
Schaefer's anti-gay /lesbian Family Concerns group to vacate the office space
it had been using in the church, across from tne Georgia Capitol. The group
planned to use Central as its base of operations during this year's legislative
· session. But church officials informed Schaefer and her supporters that they
had to leave and they did. The church's decision came just days after Family
Concerns held a strategy session at Central in which the group's members
: · were reportedly encouraged to infiltrate the offices of gayllesf>ian friendly
· state legislators. -. Southern Voice
Gay life for the birds
t,. THE ST AATSZEITUNG newspaper, Rotterdam, reports two male flamingos ·
at Rotterdam Zoo have bonded so closely that they repeatedly tried to steal
eggs from nesting females to raise their own baby. Moved by the persistence
, oI the. gay birds, zookeepers finally gave them their own fertilized egg which
the two liatched and began raising as their own.· Outlines
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Second Stone•March/April, 1994 ti
Two Episcopal dioceses come out for gay rights
AT ANNUAL CONVENTIONS, held
fanuary 29-30 and February 4-5, 1994
respectively, the Episcopal Dioceses of
Washington, D. C. and Newark, New
Jersey overwhelmingly reaffirmed
their support of _the rights of Lesbians ·
and Gays both within the Episcopal
Church and in society at large and
~alled on the national convention of
the Episcopal Church meeting this
,ummer in Indianapolis to do likewise.
Both dioceses have ordained
::ipenly lesbian and gay clergy and
ooth diocesan bishops have been
threatened with censure because of
:heir support. '
The Washington Diocese addressed ·
two issues, calling on the national
Episcopal Church to guarantee nondiscrimination
based on sexual orientation
in the '1ife, worship and governance
of this church," and asking the
- church to support the addition of
sexual orientation to the 1964 Civil
Rights Act or similar.federal legislation,
Both resolutions were put forward
by Integrity /Washington and
passed easily.
Washington's Bishop, the Rt. Rev ,
Ronald Haines, was much in the
news in 1991 when he ordained the
openly lesbian Elizabeth Carl to the
priesthood, A move to censure him
at the national convention of the
J] Second Stone-March/April, 1994
Episcopal Church that summer in
Phoenix was defeated.
The Diocese of Newark has long
been the most "gay-friendly" diocese
in the country , Their outspoken
bishop, the Rt. Rev. John Spong, is
the author of numerous books which ·
attack anti-gay attitudes in the church
and he has on several occasions
ordained openly gay and lesbian candidates
to the priesthood.
The northern New Jersey diocese
first expressed its support of Lesbians
and Gays in 1987 when a diocesan
task force on sexuality and family life
presented a 15-page report which
· spoke about pre- and post-married
heterosexual persons and about
homosexual persons. On the latter it
said, "Ideally, homosexual couples
would find within the community of
the congregation the same recognition
and affirmation which nurtures and
sustains heterosexual couples in their
relationship, including, where appropriate,
liturgies which recognize and
bless such relationships,"
In 1989, the Diocese established an
official ministry with lesbian and gay
persons, The Oasis, which has been
immensely helpful to the lesbian and
gay community and has brought
numerous persons into or back into
the Episcopal Church,
The Newark convention approved
six pro-gay resolutions , One, on the
federal civil rights act, was identical
to that passed in W ashirigton.
Another resolution called on the
national church to establish educational
curricula for youth and their
parents to assist them in understanding
and accepting their own and
their children's sexual orientation.
The most controversial of the
resolutions to be sent to the national
convention was one calling for "proposed
supplementary rites and
ceremonies for celebrating the com_
mitment of gay and lesbian couples
who are members of this church to
life together." Essentially the identical
resolution was approved in
November by the conventions of both
the dioceses of Massachusetts and
Rhode Island. Gay and lesbian
Episcopalians hope that a groundswell
of support from various parts of
the country will lead to national
approval of such rites.
In the Episcopal Church, major
changes such as the ordination of
women or changes in the liturgy are
considered by several General Conventions
before final approval, These
SEE GAY RIGHTS, Next Page
UFMCC plans Stonewall 25 activities
THE UNIVERSAL FELLOWSHIP of
Metropolitan Community Churches
will sponsor two major events in June
in New York City during the
celebration of the 25th anniversary of
the Stonewall riots. "Hands Around
the God Box," a mass prayer vigil for
ending homophobia in the church,
will be held Friday afternoon, June
24, at the lnterchurch Center, unofficially
known as 'The God Box," 475
Riverside Drive, which houses
national headquarters for numerous
religious organizations, including the
National Council of Churches and the
United States offices of the World
Council of Churches , The event will
be co-sponsored by the UFMCC and
the lesbian/ gay caucuses of many
other Christian denominations.
"Celebrating Stonewall 25: A
Generation of Faith" will be a worship
celebration Saturday evening,
June 25, at Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln
Center. The Rev , Troy Perry,
founder and moderator of the
UFMCC, will be the main speaker.
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Farrakhan aide's speech bring-s attention to
Nation of Islam's gay bashing
REMARKS MADE BY Khalid Abdul
Mohammad, the former national
spokesman of the Nation of Islam,
during a speech in New Jersey this
past November have focused new
attention on the persistent anti-Semitic
and anti-gay attacks from the
, organization. Nation of Islam leader
Rev. Louis Farrakhan dismissed the
spokesman under political pressure,
saying his remarks were meanspirited
but correct in content.
Tim Mcfeeley, executive director of
the Human Rights Campaign Fund
was the first national gay leader to
attack' Abdul Mohammad's speech,
which had been widely criticized by
national Jewish and African American
leaders.
Early in his remarks, Abdul
Mohammad used these words to
describe the late Bayard Rustin, an
African American gay man who
organized the 1963 March on Washington
and is generally regarded as
one of this country's greatest civil
rights leaders: "some boot-licking,
butt-licking, butt-dancing, bamboozled,
half-baked, half-fried, sissified,
punkjfied, pasteurized, homogenized
nigger."
At another point in his remarks he
had this to say about the King James
version of the Bible: "King James
version. Here's a sissy. Can you
name a version of the Bible after a
screaming sissy. The she-nay-nay of
his day. The wonder of his day. God
does not name holy books after
homosexuals."
Following a long tirade attacking
Jews and praising Hitler for his
"greatness for evil and wickedness,"
Abdul Mohammad turned to the
subject of South Africa. In his
remarks he stated what should be
done in that country: "We kill
everything white that ain't right. We
kill the women, we kill the children.
We kill the babies. We kill the blind.
We kill the crippled. We kill the
faggot. We kill the lesbian. We kill
them all."
"Why kill the women?" he
continued, "Because they lay on their
back, they are the military or , the
army's manufacturing center. They
lay on their back and reinforcements
roll out from beneath their legs. So
kill the women too."
Throughout his speech, Abdul
Mohammad made repulsive attacks
on Jews, Lesbians, Gays, women,
Christians and African Americans
who believe in the non-violent struggle
for equal rights, including Nelson
Mandela, Congressman John Lewis,
Spike Lee and former New York
Mayor David Dinkins. He made
several references to "Gay Edgar
Hoover " while speaking about the
former Director of the Federal Bureau
of Investigation.
At one point in the speech, Abdul
Mohammad predicted .what the reac- ·
tion to his speech will be: "Khalid
UCCUGC event unites voices of gay,
lesbian, bisexual Christians
STARTING SUNDAY EVENING,
June 19th the United Church Coalition
for Lesbian and Gay Concerns
will sponsor an ecumenical "choir
camp" for gay, lesbian, and .bisexual
Christians. The choir camp will
proceed the UCCL/GC 14th Annual
National Gathering on the Rutgers
campus in Newark, N.J. The camp
will culminate with a major concert on
June 23 at 8:00 p.m. at a nationally
known church in Manhattan.
The first Annual Ecumenical
GAY RIGHTS,
From Previous Page
resolutions will at least assure that the
issue of same-sex commitment ceremonies
will begin the count-down to
approval at the 1994 convention.
The three resolutions in Newark
were submitted by Integrity members.
The diocese's Task Force on
Children and Youth proposed two
additional resolutions, one calling for
diocesan youth and camp programs
"to enable teenagers of every sexual
orientation to interact with positive
teen and adult gay and lesbian role
models," and the other calling on the
Institute of Sacred Choral Music for
Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Christians
will unite the voices of 200 gay,
lesbian and bisexual Christians as
part of Gay Pride Week in New York
Citf this coming June.
"Finding our voices as gay, lesbian,
and bisexual Christians takes on new
meaning when we gather to sing the
music of our fai.th in the fullness of
who we are," said a spokesperson for
the UCCL/GC. (See Calendar.)
diocese to establish a "family life
education curriculum.. . to include,
among others, ... same sex relationships,
AIDS." Both were overwhelmingly
approved.
Of the six pro-gay resolutions, the
one which was most narrowly
approved called on all parishes in the
diocese which sponsor or house Boy
.Scout troops to dialogue with them
about the Scouts' anti-gay positions.
Although no specific mandates were
given; parishes were required to file
a report of such meetings by June 1.
This resolution was submitted by a
special committee of the Diocesan
Council.
· Mohammad came on our campus and
insulted the Jews and the whites and
their homosexuals. Well, you all be
go (sic) in the same group together. I
didn't come here to take no
prisoners."
Mcfeeley, in a letter to Elsa Gomez,
president of Kean College, site of
Abdul Mohammad's speech, noted
that the speech was cheered by
several hundred students and faculty
memb ers of the college. He called
the reaction "a sad and tragic reflection
on the rising level of intolerance
that has gripped too much of
Ameri'can society."
"Free speech is a right, but civil
discourse is a responsibility," Mcfeely
continued . "Mr. Mohaminad's grotesque
speech is a reminder of how
ignorance can turn to hatred, and
how hatred can tum to violence." He
urged Kean College to begin a
process of education on the importance
of diversity, tolerance and
understanding to a civilized society.
"One way to do this," Mcfeely
wrote, "is to challenge ,hate speech
with more speech. I w.ould suggest
that the College bring a ,wide variety
of people to speak on campus,
including people who have been the
object of Khalid Mohammad's hatred,
such ·as Holocaust survivors , African
American civil rights workers, and
lesbian and gay America .ns who are
fighting for an end to discrimination."
Seminary reconsiders
discriminatory housing policy
By The Voice of Integrity
THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES of the
General Theological Seminary in
New York City has agreed to reconsider
the seminary's current housing
policy that prohibits domestic partner
households. The decision follows a
long controversy after a tenured
faculty member charged GTS with
discrimination on the basis of marital
status and sexual orientation. _
Last June ; Dr . Deirdre Good, .
professor of New Testament at GTS
and a member of Integrity/New
York, filed a complaint with the New
York City Commission on Huma~
Rights when the seminary requested
that her female companion vacate
their shared apartment. The seminary's
housing policy stated that
couples must be married "as understood
by the Episcopal Churcl1."
At the board meeting, Trustees
consulted a variety of legal opinions,
including that of David Beers,
Chancellor to the Presiding Bishop.
This was followed by a report from
Prof. Thomas Breidenthal, chair of the
Dean's Advisory Committee on Seminary
Housing . Prof. Breidenthal
outlined areas of committee consensus
which included the need to preserve
the Seminary's residential character
and to respect the authority of the
Episcopal Church House of Bishops
and General Convention. He also
discussed areas in which it had not
been possible to reach a consensus.
These included proposals to suspend
or review the present policy and the
suggestion that students must have
the written permission of their Bishop
or ecclesiastical authority before l10using
at GTS.
Bishop Anderson spoke following
the presentations and suggested the
possibility that God might be using
the seminary to help the greater
church find a way to face these
matters squarely. He reiterated a
determination to end what he termed
a "conspiracy of silence around this
issue." To promote further discussion,
the Trustees then formed smaller
groups to explore a set of questions
formulated by Bishop Anderson in an
attempt to help bring a theological
and moral focus to the deliberations.
Trustees later received a number of
reports and petitions, including a
report from the GTS faculty, a letter
signed by faculty members of the
Union Theological Seminary in New
York and a draft statement signed by
nearly 50 GTS students and spouses -
all three calling for a change in the
current housing policy .
Bishop Craig Anderson, dean and
president of GTS, shared with the
Trustees his own position on a
number of the topics discussed. He
acknowledged he had felt the need to
withhold his own thoughts on the
subject in the interest of keeping
conversation open and providing
consultative support to the Trustees
and others. His intention, he said,
was to take a stand without taking
sides. On the central underlying
question of the nature of homosexuality,
he outlined a number of
differing perspectives and said he
was certain that many of these
viewpoints were represented by the
Trustees, point to not only a discontinuity
of practice but of opinion. He
admitted his own struggle with the
issues, but said that he had himself
come to accept the validity of sexual
orientation that does no harm and
res_ults in relationships marked by
commitment and love, and that he
supported the · ordination of gar- and
lesbian petsons .
The ultimate goal of the seminary,
he said, must be to develop a way of
living together that promotes honesty
and justice. "I am convinced of the.
SEE HOUSING, Page 19
Second Stone-March/April. 1994 [1]
Catholics respond to -pope's encyclical
By Dignity/USA
GAY, LESBIAN AND BISEXUAL
Catholics will respond to the latest
declaration from the Vatican with
anger, sadness and disappointment,
according to Marianne Duddy , president
of Dignity /USA.
In a statement coinciding with the
release of Pope Jolm Paul !I's encyclical
Veritatis Splendor, Duddy said
that the papal document "indicates
that the Vatican is totally out of touch
with the possibilities for the dmrch in
the modern world. This document is
one of fear and backsliding, rather
than an embrace of the new oppor.
tunites before us."
The new encyclical was developed
by the pope over a period of six
years. Addressed to the world's .
Catholic bishops, it criticizes recent
developments in Catholic moral
theology and holds that natural law,
as traditionally .understood by the
church's magisterium, is the basis for
a moral law which transcends history
and culture and absolutely forbids
certain actions, including "contraception,
direct sterilization, autoeroticism,
premarital sexual relations, homosexual
relations and artificial insemination."
Further, the pope condemns
dissent from moral teachings, ·and
instructs bishops to take disciplinary
actions against theologians and
. institutions. The pope asserts that
true human freedom must not be
opposed_ to nature, but. b e subject to ·
the objective truth which is found in
both natural law and in revelation.
"Dissent, in the form of carefully
orchestrated protests and polemics
carried on in the media, is opposed to
ecclesial communion and to a correct
understanding of the hierarchical
constitution of the people of God," the
pope writes. "Opposition to the teaching
of the church 's pastors cannot be
seen as a legitimate expression either
of Christian freedom or of the
diversity of the Spirit's gifts."
By ruling out the possibiHty for
dissent and discussion, Veritatis
Splendor minimizes the role of conscience
and demands absolute adher- .
ence to the church's moral teacl1ings,
according to Duddy. 'The continued
rejection out of hand of our forthright
and honest critique of homophobic
church policies is of particular concern
to lesbian and gay Catholics. We
have long struggled with how to
integrate our sexuality with spirituality,
and how to remain faithful to a
church whicl1 condemns our sexuality
as 'intrinsically evil."'
"Until now, there has always been
the opportunity for dialogue among
theologians and people in ministry,"
add ed Duddy. "Our greatest fear is
that ·the pope and bishops will start
punishing people who act out of the
very compassion which Jesus d emonstrated
throughout his life."
"Unfortunately, it will further
undermine the
credibility of the church."
Rather than quelling dissention, the
encyclical seems to have encouraged
controversy even in its drafting.
According to Catholic News Service,
the text went through several drafts,
with a rumored section on papal
infallibility remov e d before final
publication.
At the Vatican pr ess conference
releasing the encyclical on October 5,
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, prefect of
the Vatican Congregation for the
Doctrine of the Faith, made a slip of
the tongue, saying the encyclical had
profited from "contestations" with
theologians. He had meant to say
"consultations" but after correcting
himself added with a laugh that
"contestations" also was accurate.
Ratzinger denied that the pope had
wanted to extend papal infallibility in
the encyclical.
A persistent rumor in Vatican
corridors now is that Veritatis Splendor
is the first of two related texts; another ,..
would apply this encyclical's principles
to specific moral issues.
Ratzinger confirmed that such a
document is a working hypothesis.
Duddy predict ed that Veritatis
Splendor and any related encyclical
would receive a chilly response from
American Catholics. "We believe that
most U.S. Catholics will see this as
irrelevant teaching . Unfortunately, it
will further undermine the credibility
of the clmrch."
Pope: Gay marriage is a threat
POPE JOHN PAUL II chastised gay
unions as "a serious threat to the
future of the family and society" in a
100-page letter on family values
addressed to the world's Catholics,
according to a report in the New York
Times. The pope said that gay unions
could not be "recognized and ratifie\i
as a marriage in society" and warned
Catholics to refrain from supporting
the notion of gay or lesbian marriage .
The document was issued two weeks
after the European Parliament in
Strasbourg offered support for the
idea of Gays and Lesbians marrying
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Montreal murder leaves legacy
By The Voice of Integrity
Toronto, November 15, 1993. It was
the funeral of another gay Anglican
priest. Almost 900 people filled St.
James Cathedral to standing room
only. Bishop Terence Finlay was in
attendance. The service lasted over
two hours.
The priest was murdered in an
anti-gay attack. What was extraordinary
about this funeral service was
that the preacher, the Rev. Canon
Glenn Pritchard, acknowledged the
priest's sexuality, saying, "'Being gay
is no reason to be murdered. This
death is ' nonsense because it makes
no sense."
The Rev . Warren Eling, found slain
in his rectory on November 10, 1993
was a victim of "the forces of hatred
and fear," Pritchard continued. "We
arc all victims of thc~c dark realities."
Eling, 53, wa .q found strang led and
bound lo a headboard in the rectory
of downtown Montreal's St. James the
Apostle Church, where he had served
for two years. He had served as a
curate at the Cathedral in Toronto
from 1964 to 1973 and then as rector
of various Toronto parishes . before
moving to Montreal.
In his eulogy, Pritchard praised the
"devotion, energy, creativity, decency
and order Eling brought to the
Anglican church and its parishioners."
Police say that Eling, unmarried,
frequented gay bars in Montreal's
west end. The killer stole his wall et,
computer, sound system and hi~ car.
The car was found abandoned on the
Toronto waterfront on November 12.
Roger Leclerc, spokesman for
Montreal's Committee of Gays and
Lesbians Against Violence, told the
press that Eling was the 14th gay
man slain in a little more than three
years in that city and that he is fed up
with police inaction about the
slayings. "How many bodies will it
take before police realize that a
problem exists?" he asked.
Leclerc said there are too many
simi lar ities in many of the killings
not to suspect that someone is stalking
Gays in bars, accompanying them
home and killing them . 'The manner
in which they met their deaths is
chillingly similar."
In addition to the service in Toronto,
there was another equally affirming
memorial service for Eling at his
parish church in Montreal on Novemher
12. The preacher was The Ven
Peter Hannen, Archdeacon o
Montreal.
People may never know whethe1
Eling's killing was a case of violenci
against homosexuals. Hannen tolt
900 mourners, "but in terms of whJ
we're here, it doesn't matter. Sud
speculations don't change our revul
sion at Warren's death, neither shoul,
they make any difference to ou
affirmation of his life.
"If this outrages you enough," h
continued, "then there's somethin .
you can do. You 'may want to mak
common cause with those who wi
appear before the Quebec Huma
Rights Commission early next wee
to demand that something be don
SEE MURDER, Page 1;
Dignity/LA responds to archdiocese's "outreach"
RESPONDING TO A recent announcement
by the Roman Catholic
Archdiocese of Los Angeles of the
formation of an advisory board as
part of the Church'.s "outreach to
·homosexuals," Keith Kimball, President
of Dignity/Lo s Angeles, said
that such efforts ·continue to be based
in hypocrisy. Gay men and Lesbians
"will not find true welcome and
acceptance in the Catholic Church as
long as the hierarchy condemns us for
acting on our innate sexual .nature,"
: Kfmball said at a me.eting of Dignity
leaders.
Rev. Peter Liuzzi, director of the
archdiocese's Pastoral Ministry to the
Lesbian and Gay Community, said
that providing an environment where
Gays and Lesbians feel welcome may
eventually .lead them to "choose the
good." He was further quoted in a
Los A,ngeles Times article as saying
that the ultimate aim of the group
would be to help · Gays and Lesbians
remain celibate. 'This is a delicate
ministry because it involves moral
issues," he said.
Dignity /Lo s Angeles, the founding
chapter of Dignity/USA, with 84
chapters throughout the U. S., has
been serving tfte lesbian/ gay community
in southern California for
more than 24 years.
United Church gathering coincides with
international gay/lesbian events
"HEARING . OUR VOICES" is the
-theme for the 14th National Gathering
of the United Church Coalition for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns scheduled to
meet on the Rutgers University
campus in Newark, New Jersey June
21-24. The New York City area was
chosen to be the site for this year's
gathering in order to be in proximity ·
to several international gay /lesbian/
. bisexual events happening in the
city: Gay Games IV and Cultural
Festival and Stonewall 25.
Phil Porter, program coordinator for
the UCCL/ GC, said, 'The focus of the
gathering will be sharing our stories
and experiences with each other, with
specific focus on the similarities and
differences experienced by men and
women within the Coalition, the
church, the gay community, and in
society... Additional opportunities for
fellowship and reflection include
gathering for sing ing, prayer, worship,
entertainment, and Coaliti on
business ..
Gay Games IV, an international
Olympic-style athletic and cultural
festival open to all, is scheduled for
June 18-25. Stonewall 25 is a collection
of events commemorating the
25th anniversary of the Stonewall
Riots which occurred in Greenwich
Village, New York City in late June of
1969. This event is considered the
birth of · the modern lesbian/ gay
movement. On June 26, 1994 the
International March on the United
Nations to Affirm the Human Rights
of Lesbian and Gay People will be
the highlight of Stonewall 25. A rally
in Central Park will follow the march.
The Riverside Church in New York
City will host a number of Coalition
related events, including an ecumenical
choir concert on June 23 and
a Gay Pride breakfast prior to worship
on June 26.
Persons of any denominational
affiliation may participate in this ·
event. The registration deadline is
May 14. For more information contact
Samuel E. Loliger, 333 Argonne Dr.,
Buffalo, NY 14217, (716)877-()459 or
Rev. Craig Hoffman, 1453A Lexington
Ave., New York, NY 10128-2506,
(212)289-3016.
Speaking for an organization which
provides a wide array of services to
the gay/ lesbian community, Kimball
said that gay and lesbian people are
the first and easiest target for the
church. "But anyone," he warned,
"who practices sex outside of marriage
is in the same boat as we."
Kimball emphasized that the
members of Dignity love their faith
and their church, which he said is
simply the worshiping people of God
according to \latican II. But he
continued by saying, "We refuse to
surrender them to a hierar chy which
seems to speak out of both sides of its
mouth."
At its1987 national convention i~ ·
Bal Harbour, Fla., Dignity/ USA
issued a statement declaring that the
group believes "that we can express
our sexuality physically in a unitive
manner that is loving and lifeaHirming...
we believe that all
sexuality should be exercised in an
ethically responsible and unselfish
way."
That statement got Dignity /LA
ousted from the Los Angeles City
College Newman Center, where it
had been meeting for more than 15
years. The Newman Center is a facil-
• ity owned and operated by the
Catholic archdiocese . The chapte
met for two years in borrowed
non-Catholic sanctuaries, until i
purchased the Dignity Center ii
Highland Park. The chapter contin
. ues to celebrate Mass every Sunday a
5:30 p.m., and hosts educationa
discussion groups, Bible studieE
HIV/ AIDS support groups . and soci.;
activities for the gay and lesbia 1
community .
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Catholi,cs endorse ·gay rights bill
A NATIONAL CATHOLIC gay rights bigotry at worst They should be or encourage a particular lifestyle any priests, brothers and nuns and a
organization that is funded and sup- ashamed," more than laws banning religious number of Catholic bishops support
ported by more than sixty religious . While the Catholic bishops of the discrimination endorses or promotes a gay and lesbian rights. "We do this
. orders of priests, brothers and nuns, state of Washington stated that they particular denomination or faith. not because we waver in our faith or
has issued a blistering criticism of the "oppose unjust discrimination" against 'The bishops' stated opposition to in our commitment to our Church,
Washington Catholic bishops' opposi- gay persons they nonetheless oppose unjust discrimination rings empty but precisely because of that cointion
to t?e state gay rights bill, . the state's proposed gay rights bill and false when they refuse to support mitment," Garcia said,
"It JS repugnant that Catholic because "this issue is not only about necessary legislation to protect the 'The denial of a person's basic civil
bishops seek to deny the basic civil discrimination but about . societal basic civil rights of gay . and lesbian rights is contrary to the Gospel and is
rights of gay and lesbian citizens," acceptance and public endorsement of persons , The bishops' duplicity -and immoral. We call upon the bishops to
sai\i ,Br. Rick Garcia, director of homosexuality," hypocrisy are an embarrassment to have a conversion of heart and to
Cat,holic Advocates. 'The bishops' Catholic Advocates challenged the right thinking Catholics," Garcia said. view gay and Iesbian (,persorts not as
opp,osition is !'Ot based on Catholic bishops '. position noting that laws Catholic Advocafet, noted that .all the enemy to be battered down but to
Church . teaching but is based on banning discrimination on the basis major Protestant denominations, the view them as· our sisters and_:b, rothers
ignorance at best and meanspirited of sexual orientation no more endorse national organizations of 'Catholic entitled to justice," he said.
Washingtonp roposala ttacksg ay and lesbianp arentingf,a milies;:
THE CITIZENS ALLIANCE of Washington
state is forcing parents and
children apart, and going to new
extremes in pursuit of its anti-gay
political agenda, say gay and lesbian
parents.
On January 10, two anti-gay
initiatives were filed with the Washington
secretary of state, setting off
petition drives to get the measures on
the November, 1994 ballot. One of
the two measures, filed by the Citizens
Alliance of Washington, targets
lesbian and gay parents and their
families with unprecedented vigor,
' INtfrf tOURTS
~:OF TIIE Lonn
:,--···, "· ~ At
prohibiting Gays and Lesbians from
becoming foster parents, adopting
· children, or gaining ,child custody in
a divorce. The measure also bars
"minority status based on homosexuality,"
prohibits schools from
presenting homosexuality as positive
behavior, and bans same-gender
marriage.
'The radical right has tried before
to deny Lesbians and Gays from
becoming foster parents and adopting
children who need good homes," said
Tim Fisher, Executive Director of the
Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition
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St. John, New Brunswick
James Ferry has given a voice to
these voiceless ones and is himself
a visible incarnation of their invisible
pr.esence.
-The Rt. Rev. John S. Spong,
Bishop of Newark, New Jersey
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International. "But this is their first
.-attempt to enact legislation which
. prohibits Lesbians and Gays from
retaining custody of their own ·children
in a divorce, They would deny
us the right to raise our own children.
How is that a 'special right?"' said
Fisher, referring to the right's claim
that Gays want "special rights."
'The best interests of children" are
irrelevant in the religious right's antigay
crusade, according to GLPCI.
Buried in the fine print of the
proposition, the initiative states that
upon dissolution of a marriage where
one of the parents is gay or lesbian,
· the other parent will receive custody.
Where both parents are gay, custody
will be awarded to the nearest ·
non-gay relative. If no such person
exists, children will be taken from
their parents and put in foster care or
put up for adoption.
Children of lesbian and gay parents
around the country are reacting to the
news from Washington state . with
disbelief,
'They say they're 'pro-family,' then
they force families apart," comments
Stefan Lynch of COLAGE, Children
of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere,
the only national organization run by
and for the daughters and sons of
Lesbians and Gays. "When my
parents split up," continues Lynch, a
college All-American, "they both
came out as gay and stayed friends
and great parents . And I know a lot
of kids in the same situation. If it
were up to those people in Washington
state, I would have been taken
from my home and family, and
placed with strangers."
"If I was ever taken away from my
dad,"says Kate Ransort-W alsh, a
13-year-old whose parents split up
five years ago, "I don't know what I
would do. It's not fair. He didn't do
anything to me or anyone else. And
he's the best dad in the world."
If this initiative passes, thousands of
families in Washington state would
be placed in jeopardy.
"Parents here are scared," says
Gloria Stancich of the South _Pμget
Sound Lesbian and Gay Pai-ertts,S'upport
Group in Tacoma; Washlf\gton,
"particularly those , dealing 'with
custody issues. · Washington state is a
state that's been very fair to_ i_t~ gay
and lesbian citizens, but -We .c,af\not
afford to be complacent:" ·' ·"
''Listening to the news on the radio,
I was nauseated," says Pat Justis of
Olympia, Washington, mother of a
toddler and active in Out on a LIMB,
Lesbians in Maternity and Beyond. "I
was expecting it, but I am still
shell-shocked."
'The radical right perpetuates the
myths that · Lesb'ians · and- qays are
unfit to be parents, urtfit tq.'.be near
children," s·aid• Fisher. 'The 'truth is
there are over three dozen reputable,
scientific studies showing thai.-our
kids are no different from kids raised
in non-gay households, except: ours
are a little more tolerant of human
differences."
'The right needs a scapegoat to
coalesce its power base, and -we're it,"
explains psychologist April Martin,
author of The Lesbian a1fd 'Gay
Parenting Handbook: "We'rethe ·basis
upon which they get people ·to fork
over their money."
As the radical right increasingly
targets Lesbians and Gays in general,
and moms and dads in particular,
parents have increased their activi:sm.
"Having a child puts , fire in your
belly," says Pat Justis . 'This is not a
battle where I can sit back. There's
too much at stake for my son·. I'm
writing a letter about this initiative
and mailing it to every straight
person in my address book."
Public opinion polls show that
"coming out' ' is the most effective and
persuasive · tactic foi'': Lesbians ,i'nd
Gays. · 'The more out we are;"· agrees
Stancich, "the more they know us ·-as
human beings, -as normal everyday
working people and parents. · • ' ·,
. applied to life . The death of Jesus,
however, is explained at great length
_,.,,-in many places in the Bible.
Hebrews is devoted almost entirely
to explaining the death of Jesus and
says that suffering made Jesus complete
(2:10) and equipped Jesus to
help others (2:18). Jesus
and
·.-.:.:.· =~r~it •
Supper
BY REV. DR. BUDDY TRULUCK
Throughout the history of the The four Gospels have been called
<;hurch, the Last Supper has "pas~ion :;iarrati".~s w!th l~ng intro-
'·"'. . ,undergone .a tortuous hi11toiy · duchons. The passion" 1s a term
of use an<;l.mis_use. It became t.iken from Acts 1:3: 'To the .disciples
·<!-source .of great political power in the Jesus also presented himself alive,
. middle ages and a source of division after his suffering (Greek pathein;
. and conflict in more modem times. pathos comes from it.)." It is based on
. . I -was in Jerusalem in the summer of the word pascha, which is the word
. 1958' with a group from the Southern passover. The term passicm is used to
Baptist Seminary in Louisville, -Ken- speak of the last two days of the life of
. , lucky. One Sunday several of us Jesus, including the Last Supper,
· went by . invitation to an _Armenian Gethsemane, the arrest, trials, ·cruci,
Brethren Church service in a house fixion, death and burial. (Th.is same
beside the Garden Tomb, which is word for passion is the one used in the
the place tradition says was the burial hotly controversial statement used ·
. place of Jesus. About 30 people were against Gays and Lesbians in Romans
there . Many different countries, Ian- 1:26.)
guages, races ·and religious traditions
were represented. The communion
. ser.vice was the most meaningful one
I have ever experienced. The feeling
of unity with Christ and with the
_entire church throughout the world
-was wonderful.
.. Commun.ion gives expression to the
inclusive gospel. This is truly "good
news", to those .of us who often feel ex,
c;lu.ded and cast aside by the church.
You can _imagine that I was dismayed
;when I told .qne of the older pastors
about my c<>mmuniori at the Arme-
' nian church and he responded that he
, . would never have taken part in . it. .
He viewed the communion table as
. exclusive for not only Baptists but also
limited to the local church of which
one is a . member. He believed
strongly in closed communion, which
means that only members of a particular
denomination or even of a certain
local church can participate in the
share.cl meal of Christ together.
Suffering with Jesus as part of
discipleship is indicated in the invitation
to "take up the cross and follow"
Jesus. Paul identified with the suffering
of Jesus in Galatians 2:20: "I
have been crucified with Christ; and
· it is no longer I who live, but Christ ·
lives in me ... " and also in Colossians
1:24, where Paul makes the remarkable
claim: "Now I rejoice in my
sufferings for your sake, and in my
flesh I do my share on behalf of
Christ's body (which is the church) in .
filling up that which is lacking in
Christ's· afflictions." .
Two very important needs are met
in Matthew 26 and 27, ·and also in the
concluding sections of Mark, Luke
and John. The church needed to
explain the cross and also needed to
re-interpret the Old Testament by Jesus
rather than by the rabbinic tradition.
The resurrection is never explained
but is simply prodaimed and often
The Last Supper is the high point of
the New Testament explanation of the
death of Jesus. One of the most important
things that Jesus said in the
Last Supper was spoken .by his
careful preparation ahead of time for
this momentous event. In fact, what
Jesus did thoughout the meal said
more than words can adequately
convey. Jesus had made a practice of
setting up dramatic and forceful
events to convey his = purpose and
Il)ission to people. · His baptism in the ·
Jordan River at the hands of John the ·
Baptist was a carefully staged dramatic
beginning for his public ministry.
Other crucial events especially in
the last week of his life were planned
in advance by Jesus. The riding of
the donkey down the slope of the
Mount of Olives before the great
crowds gathered for the Passover and
the cleansing of the Temple were
carefully arranged fulfillment of Old
Testament prophecy. ·
The resurrection is
never explained but
is simply proclaimed
and often applied to
life. The death of _
Jesus, however, is
explained at great
length in many places
in the Bible.
Jesus said "My time (chairos) is at
hand ." (Matthew 26:18). This word for
time speaks of a moment filled with
special meaning. The word chron os
was used for the simple passage of
time. Eveiything in the life of Jesus
had led up to these final hours. The
followers of Jesus needed to be
perfectly clear in their understanding
and grasp of these events. A planned
time and place were arranged for
maximum effect in the proclamation
through the prophetic event of the Last
Supper.
Far too often we take on the mission
of Jesus in the church with little or no
preparation. Every time we · observe
communion we are reminded -of the .
importance of careful preparation.
Jesus prepared the setting of the
upper room and the disciples set up
the meal. Even 'the seating arrangement
was carefully planned, with the
·beloved disciple on Jesus' right and
Judas on the left. Accepting the call
of Jesus to follow him in discipleship
is the call to accept the discipline and
commitment of lime to prepare in
every way possible to let Jesus use
your life as his instrument of communicating
his life to the world.
Matthew's orderly telling of the
story of Jesus reflects the orderly and
purposeful approach to life that Jesus
demonstrated in everything that he
did, Do our lives reveal this dimension
of order, planning and purpose?
Does our church appear to be orderly,
well planned and purposeful in the
gay and lesbian community or to the
straight world? Matthew 26:17-19;
Mark 14:12-16 and Luke 22:7-13 tell of
the detailed preparation of the setting
for the Last Supper. Mark and Luke
include reference to the disciples following
a man carrying a pitcher of
water. This pre-arranged signal
would be clear because men never
carried water pots in public. Only
·women did that, a small indication of
the totally sexist society at that time.
The "upper room" provided safety
and uninterrupted time for this great
event. Most houses were one story,
so the upper room was special.
Notice that they "reclined" at the
table. A low table in the center held
the food . Jesus · and the twelve reclined
on mats or cushions in a circle
around the table. Each person faced
the table and could reach the food.
This brought the disciples and Jesus
face to face in as close physical contact
as would be possible to share food
and to talk. Though John does not
give the words of the Last_ Supper, the
setting is given in John 13 where John
tells of Jesus washing the feet of the
disciples and teaching by this dramatic
act that true greatness is being
an effective sl,ive .
The words of Jesus are brief, as
Matthew 26:26-29 gives them: And
while they were eating, Jes-:,s took
some bread, and after blessing it, he
broke and gave it to the disciples,
and said 'Take, eat; this is my body ."
And he took a cup arid ga;,e thanks,
and gave it to them, saying, "'Drink
from it, all of you; For this is my
blood of the covenant, which. is shed
on behalf of many for forgiveness of
sins. But I say to you, I wifl not drink
of this fruit of the vine from now on
until that day when I drink {t new
with you in my Father's kingdom ." .
The account in Mark 14:22-25 .is
almost identical with Matthew but
. omits "for forgiveness of sins." Luke
22:17-20 gives some variation of the
words: And having taken a cup,
when he had given thanks, Jesus
said, 'Take this and share it among
yourselves; for I say to you, I will not
drink of the fruit of the vine from
:now on until the kingdom of God
comes." And having taken some
bread, when he had ·-given thanks,
Jesus broke it; and gave it to them,
saying, 'This is my body which is
given for you; do this is remembrance
of me." And in the same way
he took the cup after they had eaten,
SEE LAST SUPPER, Page 20
Sea>nd Stone-March/April, 1994 [IJ
(d•l®1®11•~•1941•J•l~-1•11•~•~1•;r-1sa
For Catholic lesbian nuns and gay priests . and brothers, a safe place to gather 'Il struggle for gay and Jes- late~night subway from a gay libera- friend to start the newsletter, which they are bold enough to hope that
an Christians to sit in the tion meeting twenty years ago, I had would be called simply Communica- they ,might "assist the people of God
urch pews as welcomed never · felt so alone in my life," says tion. to develop and live a whole, credible
and affirmed individuals Bro. Paul. "My reflection looked back "We planned a dialogue on the and life-giving sexual-spiritual thepales
in comparison to the lonely from the window at me: 'So this is• relationship of personal sexuality, ology."
struggle for those gay and lesbian you, Paul, your whole life ahead, and · spirituality and ministry for the pur- Communication's readers are diverse
people who stand behind the pulpit there is no one in the Church you can pose of building community among in the challenges they face. Of
,or otherwise offer their lives to the speak to, no one who would under- lesbian and . gay clergy and reli- course, the Roman Catholic Chimh's
church. For lesbian nuns and gay stand."' gious," says Bro. Paul. "For me, its
brothers and priests in the Roman . Feeling he had no models, no peers primary motivating force was the
Catholic Church, the journey is even to help him discern where he was · desire not to be alone in my journey,
more difficult, given the Church's going, no one near at hand with ·a and the parallel desire not to have
periodic outbursts against homosex- simifar journey against whom h ; others suffer such aloneness in theirs
·uality and the slim chance that justice could measure his life, he began a as I had in mine. We began to write
will replace such condemnation any- perilous journey that'year. He began about the joy and pain of our journey
time soon . searching for such peers, trying to get as homosexual priests and religious,
Fifteen years ago, a newsletter was other rriests and religious like weaving a conversation each month
started for Catholic lesbian nuns and himsel together for a day of out of any letters which readers sent
gay brothers and priests who wanted recollection or a weekend retreat. in. In writing and rereading our
to communicate with each other and A few years after this, Bro. Paul's unfolding story, many of us discovered
ourselves communicating
with God about areas we had always
managed to hide." Lonely
late-night
subway
trip gave
life to
ministry
offer one another support. During
those years, Commumcution's readers
have shared their stories for the
purpose of furthering their sexual/
spiritual integration. At the same
time, this essentially private and
anonymous dialogue has served to
build up a sense of community
among its participants, a unique and
hidden segment of the Body of Christ.
In the spring of 1973, Bro. Paul
came out as a gay man to his family.
He was in his early thirties then, and
had been a Roman Catholic priest for
seven years. Having been a successful
teacher of theology at the university
level, he was well thought of by
many friends and colleagues. His
forte was a course on religious experience.
Corning out as a gay priest was
to be a religous experience which
would forever afterward put blood in
those words for him - the blood of a
wound and the blood of life.
"Riding home by myself on a
mother died suddenly, tearing him
from a womb he says he discovered
he had never quite left. He spent the
whole summer writing ab_out his
trauma and trying to discover its
meaning for him. Writing, he found,
enabled him to talk with God about
his pain and it became a way for
God to speak to him .
"By the fall of 1977, a fellow priest
and I were ready to lead a workshop
for gay priests and religious at the
national convention of Dignity," says
Bro. Paul. "We had gathered from allover
the country, and had only
ninety minutes in which to share our
struggles and visions. We would not
meet again for two more years."
Wanting to continue the dialogue in
the form of a newsletter, Bro. Paul
asked for names and addresses. In
spite of the risk, sixty people signed
the list. After Bro. Paul got home, he
· worked out plans with a woman
A sense of community developed
among Communication readers, although
most of them would never
meet each other and would only
communicate anonymously through
the pages of the newsletter.
Something even more profound
began to happen, according to Bro.
Paul. "In the vulnerability of sharing
our stories with one another and with
God, we began hearing God speaking
a word back to us," he says. "As
each of us fits in a piece of our
corporate puzzle, we have begun to
sense that God is speaking to us not
simply as individuals saved out of a
multitude of others but as persons
being drawn together into a body, a
body that is Christ's."
Communication newsletter is part of a
broader ministry sponsored by Communication
Ministry, Inc . ., which is
has a three-level outreach. The first
level, the written dialogue among
members, is represented by the
bimonthly newsletter and updates.
Normally, the newsletter includes a
commentary based on the letters the
organization receives, reflective essays,
poetry, reviews of relevarit
books and films, and notices of upcoming
events.
The second level is the face-to-face
dialogue fostered by CMI's retreat
series and by linking with readers
through correspondence or support
groups in various parts of the
country.
The third level is represented by
CMI's endeavor to turn their conversation
outward toward the broader
Catholic Church. The Journal, published
periodically on a theme of
topical interest, is part of the outreach.
CMI wants Church leaders and others
to hear of their journey in a way that
will challenge. In turn, they open
themselves to whatever response they
receive, trust _ing that Jesus Christ is
best served when his people break
open the bread of their lives to one
another. And · with Christ's Spirit
view of homosexuality is the overwhelming
burden but readers ·also
deal with such issues as celibacy and
the question of when one awakims to
one's sexual orientation in relation to
the making of the promise of
celibacy.
Communication readers share
remarkable stories of courage, battle
and resolution. "Even though I had
known for a long time that my sexual
orientation was different, it wasn't
until I was nineteen years · old that I
came out into the gay community;·
says a lesbian sister. "Simultaneously,
I also felt called to religious life. So I
did what every good, traditional
Catholic woman would do. I went to
· confession. After twenty minutes
with the friendly parish priest I felt
like I had been pushed out of an
airplane · from forty thousand feet,
without a parachute. Between the
guilt, the fear, the sense of hopelessness,
and the 'knowledge' that
God must indeed hate me I decided I
did not have a religious vocation ...
"I went the usual way of bars,
drugs, and multiple lovers, until I
discovered, with the help of therapy,
that growth could come from pain,
and that my sexual orientation would
not go away by annihilating my
senses. I also learned that God loves
me and wants me to be the best
possible gay person I can be. Nine
years later I entered religious life ... I
therefore told the president of my
community that I was lesbian . With
much listening, understanding, and
continuous dialogue, we have
resolved, over the past five years,
many of the myths of individual
sexual orientation."
After 15 years and volumes ol
Communication, Bro. Paul says he and
readers · of the newsletter experience
themselves no longer alone. "No
longer are we simply accepting our
SEE CMI, Page 19 !12] Second Stone-Mar~b/-;-A:-pn~--1-, :-:1994~----------------~...:.._------------------~------'----
Love will
find a way
BY MARCUS STRINGER
Little did I know what
growth and opportunity
would await me one
Monday morning at work.
Going through the motions of logging
in and checking messages, I noticed
there was a prayer request from
someone on the . Christian "alias"
(electronic mail clearinghouse). Just a
few days earlier there was a prayer
request from a woman bemoaning a
progressive decision made by a
competing computer software company
in favor of same-sex spousal
benefits.
The first woman's pompous
righteousness angered me to the
point that I wanted to discontinue my
membership . However, as I read the
rest of the request, she asked for
suggestions on the "correct Christian
response we should take" if Gays
were to pull such a stunt in our
company. So I responded with what I
· .. thought would help her out of her
. · confusion.
' ' Howev~r, the tone of.the request I
was now reading seemed more open
to true guidance. The woman, Sue,
and her husband were in a dilemma,
' ._They believed in pro-life and were
impressed to walk in a local
f,)ndraiser for the fight against AIDS.
Sue was seeking assurance from
fellow CJrristians that tl,ey would 110!
·condemn them as "condoning homosexuality,"
She also was concerned
that \hey might be surrounded by
angry, militant people, and Wanted
their pro-life actions to be a witness to
both militant Gays and Christians
alike,
"Oh this is just a confused woman .
She's been used to having religious .
teachers think for her. Don't bother
with her." I want ed to shrug her off
and forget about it; yet at the sam e
time I wanted to d1eck her out - to see
how she really felt. What would she
do with a self proclaimed gay
Christian? I e-mailed Sue in return,
affirming the decision she and her
husband made - standing for pro-life.
A friend of mine had already gotten
me to make a donation in his name;
however, I wanted to leave Sue with
tangible evidence of my affirmation -
and "put my money wh e re my
mouth was." The next day Sue
replied that her step-brother is gay
and that some of her friends now
have AIDS and others have already
passed away . l n•alizt•d. that .tlw issm'
, wa.s · closer to home to her than I'd
have ever imagined. Quickly , I
made a date so we could meet.
What a great opportunity to share
the good news of the gospel with one
"bogged down" under the red tape of
legalism . What opportunities of joy,
peace, and freedom do we miss by
withdrawing, giving up on complete
kinship with ' others. Fortunately, I
hung around long enough to find that
the door was open . I could actually
touch this person's life.
My experience with Sue was very
peaceful, seeing that she was willing
to listen and acknowledge that she
did not have all of the answers. We
were free to love first, letting whatever
else happen later . Christ, if he
The next day Sue
replied that her step
brother is gay and
that some of her
friends now have
AIDS and others
have already passed
away. I realized that
the issue was closer
to home to her than
I'd have ever
imagined.
were still on earth today, would teach
love your enemies and pray for those
who persecute you (Matt 5:44). Bless
those who persecute you; bless and
do not curse (Rom. 12:14). A new
commandment I give you: Love one
another as I have loved you, so you
must love one another. By this all
men will know that you are my
discipl ,es, if you love one another
0ohn 'l:4-5).
Not every expe rieqce will be as the,
one I had with Sue. What do we do
with the outspok en oppressor , or the
mere dangerous destroyer who lurks
undercover? Can this sort of thing
make sense when your brother/
,enemy gloats over the fact that you
are not given the same human
protections as h e enjoys under the
law: to marry, ·10 serv e in the
military, to adopt children? ·
What about when your
sister/ enemy bears false witness
against you and other lesbian-gay
family by muddling the truth about
homosexuality . How can I love my
fellow Christian who will destroy the
minds and spirits of gay people
through "change ministries? " Since
God asks us not to take revenge into
our own hands (Rom. 12:19), isn't at
least some heavenly discipline in
order for these souls?
Where does righteous indignation
end and destructive revenge, anger
and hatred begin? Just because we
have resolved most conflicts between
our sexuality and spirituality does not
make us self-sufficient from the transforming
power of Christ on our
characters. That's right - standing as
gay Christians is not synonymous
with perfection, We are still in great
need of a Savior. As we ask Christ to
open our spiritual eyes, our conscience,
and heart, he will show us
the distance between his and our
own . The one who taught "love your
enemy" is the same one who had his
body unceremoniously "pinned" to a
cross - a masterfully created torture
machine. And if the story about this
one is supposed to be true, he didn't
call fire down upon his enemies, or
bash them in return for the bashing
he was receiving.
Does th is seem like an impossible
act to follow? It is. Disconrnicted from
the source of love (1 John 4:7), yea
even love itself (1 John 4:16), we have
no power to control hate or indiference.
So the next ti,;rui you are
persecuted for espousi n g sexual
responsibility and commitment, the
next time you stand for pro-life; or
when you're ridiculed for deciding to
believe in the Sabbath after years of
rejection - know this: Love can, must,
will find a way!
Reprinted from the Seventh-day Adventist
Kinship International Kinship
Connection.
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Offering:
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Weekly Worship Services:
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•A Positive Community Atmosphere
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Rev . Pamela White, Pastor
Call (505)260-2882
for other information.
Second Stone-March/April, 1994 '[a]
T. Cover Story T
I• I a I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ♦ I I I I I• I• I I I I I I I I I~ I I I I I.~ I I I I I I I• -~ I I I I I I I I I I
Dirty laundry: Showing the right how wrong they can be
Froin Page 1
they had the gall to waste taxpayer
money to bring the issue to. court.
They didn't want a '.'family" pass;
they wanted public endorsement of
homosexuality.
The former Mormon president
Spender Kimball, leading a Church
which has long championed families,
correctly pointed out the fickle nature
of the supposed "love" Gays and
Lesbians feel. 'Think for yourself
what would these persons do for you
should you suddenly fall victim to an
incurable disease. Suppose your
body shrivelled; suppose you could
no longer satisfy sexually; suppose ·
you could no longer be 'used.' How
long would the alleged friendship
and this distorted so-called 'love'
last?"
[n the notorious case of Sharon
Kowalski, severely injured and brain
damaged in a car accident in Minnesota,
her "lover," Karen Thompson,
petitioned for years to have the .legal
right to care for her "spouse ." The
gay and lesbian community tried to
pretend that her devotion was out of
love, but it is clear that the real
motive was to destroy Sharon's family,
to frivolously waste $200,000 it1·
legal fees to deny her parents the
right to make decisions about their
own daughter. ·
Gays across the nation are taking
care of their lovers dying from AlDS,
but is this a sign of love or is it a sign
instead of desperation? God is
naturally trying to eliminat .e Gays
,ince we as his "followers" are not
spiritually dedicated enough to do
:>ur part, and Gays, realizing their
sex partners are dying off, are throwing
all of their energy into preserving
the ou tie ts for their sin.
What more do we need to know?
[sn't it clear that the situation is
:ritical?
Perhaps what is clear is the way
.1omophobic zealots pretending to
follow God, but more concerned with
~enerating money for their coffers by
:reating a false enemy, can slant any
1ction they want and fit it to their
)Wn agenda. They take the more
,izarre and rebellious Gays and
Lesbians and set them up as the
,verage Gay or Lesbian to create fear'
ul images around which followers
:an rally. But I wonder if we-looked
Jbjectively at the issue, if we could
'ind any problems with the hetero- •
;exual community we hold as the
,tandard, and with their family
values.
In Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
34-year-oJd William Jerome Terry III
·aped and slashed a former girlfriend
Nith a razor, leaving her for dead in
l piece of rolled up carpet. Of course,
:hey_ weren't married, so this doesn't
}1] Second Stone-March/April, 1994
really show the heterosexual view
toward family values. ·
But 9nce heterosexuals get married,
sometimes the values do not seem to
change much . In Hammond, Louisiana,
Larry Huls, gaining the help of
his current female lover, Kathleen
Mapes, strangled and shot his exwife,
Anne Erdey after kidnapping
her from her workplace . Larry killed
her because he didn't want to pay
$5,900 in back child support which he
owed her to help care for their
6-year-old son, who had cerebral
palsy.
Joe Meling of Seattle poisoned and
killed two strangers in order to cover
the attempted murder of his wife. He
had wanted to get out of a failing
marriage, but since divorce is promoting
the break up of families, he
figured his plan was more respectable.
Besides, the death of his wife
would also bring him $700,000 in life
insurance benefits .
Despite the religious right's attempt
to make AIDS a gay issue, it has been
a fact from the start of the epidemic
that it is a primarily heterosexual
disease. It has been "gay" in the
United States for a dozen years, but
heterosexuals here are quickly catching
up with heterosexuals the world
over who through their promiscuity
and selfish disregard for others are
spreading this painful, deadly disease.
Some heterosexuals even
spread it quite deliberately, as the
French officials did to thousands of
hemophiliac children, while knowing
the blood they were using was
contaminated. Heterosexuals just care
more about money than they do
children.
Of course, some care more about
spite and revenge, as we've already
seen, and so with AIDS, we get many
cases such as that of Terry Boatwright
of Pensacola, Florida, who kidnapped
and raped an ex-girlfriend, but then
just to make sure she became infected
with HIV, he injected her with his
own contaminated blood as well.
Twenty-eight-year-old Alberto Gonzalez
in Portland, Oregon, was much
nicer, not raping his 17-year-old girlfriend,
but repeatedly having sex
with her without condoms while
knowing he was HIV positive. The
girl so far still tests negative, but two
former sex partners have tested
positive.
These cases should not be
surprising, though, when we understand
the lie that heterosexuals are
capable of deeply loving each other is
only a clever bit of propaganda
dreamt ur to futher the heterosexual
agenda o promoting their desire for a
multitude of sexual outlets for
themselves.
The U. S. Navy, caught with its
pants down in Las Vegas at the-
Tailhook convention, also ~pologized
for the sexual harassment of women.
There was the fondling and grabbing,
of course, but the sexual acts
also included men exposing themselves
in the hotel lobby and men
engaging publicly in oral sex with
women (a military crime even if
consensual). Further, the Navy
admits it had known of the sexual
harassment for years, but heterosexual
leaders, promoting the family
value of inferiority of women, failed
to do anything until forced by public
scandal.
Serb leaders in Bosnia who endorse
the rape of Muslim women, however,
are not committing the rapes as an act
of violence against women, forcing
·these victims to bear childr en .they do
not want . It is for the values of
Christianity that they commit these
rapes against non-believing women .
Christian heterosexuals, we must
remember , are particularly adept at
bizarre forms of rationalization . It
doesn't take much real thought to see
through their "justification," but
heterosexuals as a group are much
more concerned with furthering their
position of power than with honestly
advocating justice.
A great part of the justification
comes through the sanctifying image
of church authority, but most heterosexuals
only use the church as a cover
for their own evil desires.
But people whci truly care about
family values will see how dangerous
heterosexual religious leaders really
are. Rev. Virgil Carpenter in
Ontario, Oregon, was convicted of
sexually molesting a 9-year-old girl
over a year and a half. A Roman
Catholic priest, Robert Mayer, was
convicted in Chicago cf sexually
abusing a 13-year-old girl. Another
heterosexual Catholic priest, James
Porter, accused of molesting dozens of
children in Massachusetts, Minnesota,
and New Mexico, has been convicted
in the first of the cases brought
against him, molesting a 15-year-old
female babysitter .
It's not as if he was overly clever in
hiding his abuse that his molestation
was able to continue for so many
years. Court documents proved that
the Church had numerous reports of
his abuse. 13ut as we know, most
churches, which are run by heterosexuals,
are . not terribly concerned
with protecting children. They shout
loudly about removing the "gay
menace," but it is all a front so they
can ensure their-own sexual access to
children.
Naturally, it is not only for sex that
heterosexual religious people abuse
children. Sometimes, it Is for the
simple motive of greed. When the
Canadian government in 1955 offered
\o pay 75¢ a day for oq,hans and
$2.75 a day for mentally retarded
children, the spiritual leaders at the
Mount Providence orphanage in
Montreal decided to have a "change
of vocation," changing their institu~
tion officially from an orphanage to a
mental institution. What they didn't
bother to do was find a home for their
orphans or to seek out mentally
retarded children. They simply relabelled
the children already under
their care.
Institutional heterosexual abuse of
children goes even further. .Lee
Stokes of Covington, Louisiana, who
ran a counseling service, was booked
with molesting 15-year-old and 16-
year-old patients. In our school
systems, by far the majority of teachers
who molest children are heterosexual,
anywhere from 95 to 98
percent, depending on the reports.
Neither education nor the government,
nor heterosexual parents, have seen
fit to insist on a plan that will track
down these abusers. If a heterosexual
teacher is fired in one state for sexual
abuse, all he or she needs t0 do is
move to another state, be recertified
with no background check on the
abuse, and he or she is ready to prey
on more children.
And when children do report the
abuse, it is often ignored, even if the
abuse comes from outside the school.
When a 9-year-old girl in New York
wrote in an essay for class that her
1 father, who was dying of AIDS, had
raped her, school officials did
nothing, even destroying the essay.
Only .when the girl finally told her
grandmother was the abuse brought
to light. Our school boards, which
are being infiltrated by members of
the religious right, put on a superficial
show of concern for children by
claiming the need to get rid of gay
teachers, but it is clear that the
concern is ncit .really for the sexual
well-being of children at all but is
only for the power to control others'
lives, which is also - what rape and
molestation are all about ·
In Jacksonville, Florida, a 9-year-old
girl was diagnosed in 1992 with
AIDS. State social workers were
aware of her sexual abuse as early as
1988, because she had come in at
various times with other sexually
transmitted diseases, but they failed
to take any action to protect her.
Their reason was pure enough. They
didn't want to break up the family.
This case is similar with the
institutional neglect of children by the
Boy Scouts of America. Claiming the
need to protect children's values, they
reject gay scout leaders with no
history of sexual abuse yet they allow
heterosexuals who do abuse children
to join. Butthere is another kind of
SEE COVER STORY, Next Page
COVER STORY
From Page 14
abuse involved here, too. The Boy
Scouts also reject gay scouts themselves.
While pretending to encourage
boys to .become "morally
straight," they expel gay children,
who in their own words are in great
need of moral direction . If they were
truly concerned about the children,
would they so actively refuse to help?
Institutional heterosexual abuse and
neglect is so dominant in heterosexual
culture that it cannot help but seep
down to the very last refuge, the
heterosexual family unit. We've
already had just a taste of the abuse
among heterosexual couples, but the
abuse of children is even more
predominant.
In Salt Lake City, Michael Kojima
was arrested for failing to pay
$100,000 in child support to his
former wife . The amount seems high
· until we realize that it had been
increasing slowly over eight years, as
he refused to pay $350 a month for
each of two daughters, aged 4 and 5
at the time of the divorce. The
neglect is perhaps more obvious
when we realize that Michael
managed to donate $500,000 at a
Republican fundraiser, at an event
where "family values" has become
the latest buzz word, shortly before
his arrest. .
Regina Simpson of Baton Rouge was
found guilty of abandoning her_ two
children, aged 1 and 2, m a filthy
apartment while she went out
drinking . One of the children was
found eating roaches . The apartment
had no running water, and the floor
was covered with feces and urine.
The children were taken into protective
custody for a while but were
then returned to the mother, who has
shown her dedication to the family by
giving birth to a third child.
Extended family members receive
the abuse, too. A 16-year-old Columbus,
Mississippi, teenager was caught
after raping his 6-year-old niece.
Because of easy access, most heterosexuals
sexually abuse direct family
members. A 46-year-old Harahan,
Louisiana, man was ·convicted of
raping his 7-year-old daughter. The
father had a friend who didn't have
as e/ilsy access to children, so he Jet his
friend take part in the ·rape, too.
But · heterosexual abuse,
unfortunately, does not end with
neglect or molestation. Tan:imie
Guthie of Baton Rouge was convicted
of allowing her 15-month-old daughter
to drown while she paid a
16-year-old boy $50 and had sex with
him.
In Kentucky, 26-year -old Mary
Fletcher confessed that she murdered
her 3-year-old daughter by poisoning
and tried to poison her 4-year-old son
as well, in order to collect $5,000 in
burial insurance and "try to end
marital strife" with her husband. The
girl had also been sexually abused.
Mark James Bender of Seattle
hacked his wife and two children,
llll=MY;l•Ji·@•i¢1•t·M•JMl·S~•,11WK'l·Sl111-14
aged 8 and 15, to death with an axe
and stored their bodies in a rented
locker for 12 years. But his behavior
is completely justifiable when we
realize his wife was planning to take ·
the kids and leave him. Mark
couldn't allow the sin of divorce to
destroy America's moral system.
In non Christian areas, such as
India, heterosexuality leads to the
murder of over 20,000 wives a year,
who are usually burned to death in
"kitchen accidents," and to the
aborting of millions of female fetuses .
In China, heterosexual parents commonly
kill female babies. In
America, we're more civilized, but
even here, when Christian fundamentalism
is added to the mixture of
heterosexual values, we cannot help
but end up with men such as Jim ·
Jones and David Koresh, who sexually
molest children and intimidate
and kill adults in the name of God.
But because these sick heterosexuals
need to somehcw justify their actions
to themselves, they find a scapegoat
on which to project their guilt. Gays
and Lesbians are the current choice .
When Lynn Johnson, acclaimed
writer of the comic strip, "For Better
or For Worse," which is about
promoting true family values, dared
to include a segment about a teenage
friend of the family being kicked out
of his house by his parents for being
gay, right wing fanatics across the
nation leaped to censor the panels
from their newspapers. Censorship,
it appears, is a family value .
· Accepting a gay child, even though
experiencing initial hostile feelings, is
anti-family. Wishing a gay son
would commit suicide is also the
embodiment of family values.
If heterosexuals are offended by
their protrayal here, we neecl_ to
remember that all of these accounts
are on public record, and any major
newspaper any day of the week will
show more and more of the same .
Arn I picking out just the most public,
most negative images? Perhaps. But
isn 't that what Falwell, Dobson,
· Robertson and Helms do in showing
video clips from gay rights parades?
"Oh, my God! Those people are
wearing leather and chains on that
float! Those men are wearing
dresses! And those men are imitating
sexual acts! Oh, my God!" Most of
these people are deliberately trying
to shock middle America. It is all an
act for the camera . It may b e inappropriate,
perhaps disgusting, even
sinful, but it in no way compares to
even one of the heterosexual atrocities
mentioned here, which occur continually.
But fear-mongering generates
money, and that is apparently the
important point. If some heterosexuals
claim, ''But we don't approve
of any of the actions in this article,"
they need to realize that Gays and
Lesbians don't either. . Can any
Christian honestly claim that finding
(or inventing) sordid stories and then
generalizing them isn't the exact tactic
of ministers who preach hate? Sordid
Gays do exist, but they no more
represent all of homosexuality than
these accounts represent all of
heterosexuality .
While heterosexuals may not as a
group really be as bad as portrayed
here, even the "model" families have
their problems, not the least of which
is homosexuality. Ask Phyllis
Schlafly, whose son in gay, or
General Colin Powell, whose daughter
is lesbian . There are very few
Cleaver families in America, or
Nelsons, or Bradys, or Huxtables.
Even aspiring to be like them may
not be a possibility.
If we are honestly seeking to
promote families, we will simply
have to accept that families come in a
variety of types, and that this is not
necessarily bad.
Throughout history, what has been
regarded as "the fami_ly" has changed
drastically, even in our Jud~oChristian
tradition. Menstruating
~omen had to be isolated, foreskins
had to be cut, wives could not speak
in church, men had to marry their
sisters-in-law if their brothers died.
Divorce was allowed, or wasn't
allowed depending on the era. And
let:s not forget the BibHcal and even
more recent times when concubines
were acceptable, and polygamy. The
Catholic Church at one time accepted
abortion, then condemned it, then
accepted it, and then condemned it
again . Throughout Christian Europe,
child abandonment was deemed
perfectly acceptable at various times.
Not every family variety is wonderful,
but with Christianity as
variable as it is (with hundreds of
varieties at the present), just because
a preacher condemns one kind of
family doesn't necessarily make 1t
bad, especially when there 1s no
abuse taking place. What God 1s
concerned about is that we treat each
other with love and respect.
"We love the sinner but hate the
sin" is a superficial excuse to justify
oppression, and God is not the only
one who knows it. Any thinking,
feeling person knows that when
someone takes images and stories out
of context in order to create a biased,
negative portrait of someone, this is
not an act of love but of dedicated
hatred, often performed to deny one's
own failings .
Jesus never said a word against
homosexuality, but he did say not to
judge others. And he did say we
should love one another without
condemning .
For heterosexuals convinced that
Gays and Lesbians are sinners, I
suppose this means they must not ask
their children to commit suicide, they
must not disinherit them or refuse to
let them fully take part in family
holidays. It means that heterosexuals
need to accept their gay and lesbian
children, their gay and lesbian
siblings and parents and cousins, and
love them. Loving one's family
members can, with a little stretch of .
faith, be. considered as ·promoting
family values, if heterosexuals try
hard enough.
For Lesbians and Gays, loving
sinners means they have to be
willing to love the fundamentalists
who are condemning them daily, a
harder task, to be sure, but then
Christ did say, "Blessed are they
which are persecuted for righteousness'
sake, for theirs is the kingdom
of heaven.'' By pro .mating true love,
acceptance, and family values, Gays
and Lesbians are condemned by the
Christians who don't really know
Christ. But because love and truth
will prevail, it is the hypocritical
hetero.sexual sinners who are the ones
really to be pitied, and Gays and
Lesbians, they will find, will have
enough love to offer even to them.
Perhaps this can best be
exemplified by a woman who,
because of her religion, di<;! believe
homosexuality was wrong, but who
also believed strongly in family love.
Dorothy Hajdys' son, Allen Schindler,
was murdered by gay bashers,
beaten so -badly she could only
identify his body by a tattoo on his
arm. She attended the trial for one of
his confessed killers. When the sailor
was sentenced to life in prison, she
was glad, telling both the murderer
and his mother she didn't want him
put to death because she didn't want
any other mother to go through what
she was going through. "At least she
call tell you that she loves you and
can visit you," Dorothy told the
murderer .
This is the meaning of family
values, love, not religious propagan°
da. We can only hope that the
majority of heterosexuals haven't
been led so far astray that they can no
longer recognize the truth, that they
will desist from picking the worst or
strangest elements of the gay
community and generalizing them to
all Gays and Lesbians, and that they
will learn that not'only physically are
we members . of their family, but
spiritually we are, too, and decent
families don't gossip and slander their
relatives . We need to stop promoting
hate and division and instead promote
the highest family values of all,
love, understanding, and unity.
"Blessed are the peacemakers," said
Christ.
''Blessed are the merciful," he said.
"Blessed are the meek ."
Is this the way Christians are
behaving toward their gay brothers
and sisters? It is in the same chapter
where Christ warns us not to judge
one ··another that he warns against
following false leaders and false
prophets. Perhaps those who so
strongly persecute Lesbians and Gays
should study the scriptures more
· carefully, should fast and pray until
they are sure they are following
God's will and not the will of some
hate-filled, egocentric man, the "wolf
in sheep 's clothing," out to infiltrate
and destroy the flock of God's
children . Only by embodying the
family value of love, not hate, can we .
truly say we are serving and
following our God.
Second Stone-March/April, 1994 [I[
Priest's troubles end in suicide ·
From Page 1
neck out" on social justice issues. He
had a tenure of more than seven
years in the Diocese of Central
J?ennsylvania, during which time his
Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Charlie McNutt,
Jr., described their relationship as
positive, and Mc'Carriar as a person
who accompiished much for his
congregation and the diocese. Members
of his congregation and friends
described McCarriar as "eccentric"
and "blustery" but agree that he had
many good points and accomplished
much in his ministry. Yet, something
drove him to despair so great that he
could no longer face life.
In the spring of 1993, Fr. McCarriar
began to show signs of the stress
which would lead to tragedy. In May
he circulated a document pertaining
to corporal punishment of adolescent
males by their fathers. His exact
intent is unclear, but -in at least one
case he appeared to recommend actions
which our current society would
consider abusive and psychologically
dangerous . Unsu re of the import of
his actions, congregation members
first approached McCarriar with their
concerns and later approached Bishop
McNutt when they~ felt unsatisfied
with McCarriar's response. The Bishop
said that he did not feel the
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incident itself was serious, But he
worried that · McCarriar, when
approached, seemed unable to understand
the concerns of his congregation
and their reasons for objecting to his
actions.
The tensions in Coudersport
continued. After more complaints
from the wardens and vestry of Christ
Church, the Bishop called a meeting
with McCarriar, including two
wardens, a mental health worker
from Coudersport and a counselor
from the diocese. Recommendations
from that meeting involved getting
counseling and working for a time
with the Rev. Canon Dr. Andrew
France, President of the Diocesan
Standing Committee, in a mentor
relationship. At about this time,
friends started noticing changes in Fr.
McCarriar's behavior and began to
communicate their concern about his
mental state . Several urged him to
get counseling. Others attempted to
get him to talk to them, to be open
about what was causing him so much
turmoil. None were successful.
McCarriar also refused to take the
Bishop's recommendation of counseling,
although he did start meeting
regularly with Canon France.
At one point in early July, Fr.
McCarriar was taken to a state
hospital by concerned friends for
involunta~y commitment. They be- -
lieved he might be a danger to
himself and possibly to. others. The
psychologist at the hospital did not
find sufficient grounds for involuntary
commitment, but did communicate
to Bishop McNutt that McCarriar
felt he was under tremendous
pressure. Anything which could be
done to relieve that pressure would
be helpful. Because he seemed
deeply troubled by the recommendation
for counseling, the Bishop told
McCarriar that he would not require
that if he continued meeting with
Canon France and could show
improvement in the situation at
Coudersport. The Bishop believed
this would reduce the pressure and
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A half-hour documentary on the Rev.
Jane Spahr and her call to the Downtown
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brought to trial.
Shows how conf11sion and fear ('What!
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can be transformed into understandins
and compassion. ("Then I met _Janie!")
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allow McCarriar the space to work out
his problems . . But it was not to be.
Shortly after this, McCarriar wrote to
"selected friends" the following about
his situation:
. " ... it has caused me times of anger,
rage, or heartbroken despair, as I feel
that I was an undeserving victim of
betrayal, treachery, and sabotage, by
a few people who are not supportive
of my ministry or pastoral judgment.
These reactions are only normal and
temporary, and are entirely due to
the unnatural stress perpetrated upon
me by Bishop McNutt. If he would
cease and desist, all would be well, I
promise you, if you keep faith with
me."
"He was terribly
injured, but
wouldn't let
anybody in.
Even in good
times, there was
never any
connection."
After this, t.he Bishop saw the
situation worsen and found himself
compelled to take action to resolve the
conflict in McCarriar's congregations.
The Rev. Canon John McDowell went
to Coudersport to meet with the
vestries and to hand deliver a letter to
' Fr. McCarriar from the Bishop, again
requiring that he get counseling and
that he continue to meet with Canon
France as a mentor.
Bishop McNutt was to be in
Coudersport on Sunday, September
19th, for his annual visitation. He
was scheduled to meet with the
vestry after the morning service. It
seems likely that McCarriar, who had
MURDER,
From Page 9
about the apparent concerted gaybashing
in our community.
"We regard it as monstrous that
people should be murdered because
they're the wrong religion in Ireland,
or the wrong tribe in Africa, or the
wrong race somewhere else. So here
in Montreal, it is equally monstrous
that anyone, be it a beloved colleague
Leonardo's Children, Inc. and a friend, or even a total stranger,
26 Newport Bridge Rd. should be done to death, possibly
Call( 504)899-440 F1AX( 504)891-7555 Warwick, NY 10990 ■ because of his or _her actual or alleged
L._$;_1_89_.ooy_,_e,p_ea~_rr6 o__bri lli_,n$g3,___1s. soo__ef a_c_h._.■~,., .___ ___. 9_.1_,4._.e9c8)(_6_-6__8_88 ____ = sexual orientation."
•1 6I Second Stone•Marcb/April, 1994
l!.!!J
been encouraged by Canon France in
their sessions to consider relocating
and starting over, believed that he
would be removed from his position
at this time . In any case, Fr.
McCarriar did not show up at either
the morning service or the meeting
thereafter. In fact, he had gone to
Williamsport the previous evening
and on Sunday morning jumped to
his death.
Bishop McNutt was with the
congregation when they were told of
their Vicar's death. Canon France
was with them the following two
Sundays both to preach and to be
available for the people in whatever
way he could to promote healing. The
Bishop is appointing a new vicar, to
save the missions from conducting a
search during their grief and healing
process. In the interim the pulpit has
been filled on Sundays by two priests
from the diocese. Healing seems to
be coming to the congregations at
last.
A good friend of his said, "Herb
could have been helped. No one
behaved inappropriately, but it just
didn 't happen." One theme which
repeated continuously was McCarriar's
fear of psychiatrists, psychologists
and all forms of counse]ing.
Against all assurances, he believed
his counselors were spies for the
Bishop, reporting all they .heard in
supposed confidence. A friend also
said "there was much denial in Herb.
He was terribly injurel:!, but wouldn't
let anybody in, Even in . good .-titnes,
there was never any connectiori:" It
seems Fr. McCarriar was adept at
helping others, but simply could . not
ask for or receive help himself. It
may never be known what fears kept
him shut off from all those whose true
desire was to help and heal. He
created a place which was a true
anomaly; a rural congregation cl1aracterized
by inclusiveness, welcoming
to Gays and Lesbians, committed to
justice. McCarriar often claimed the
Coudersport congregation had the
first openly gay couple in the nation
to stand as godparents at a baptism.
Yet, he who accomplished so much
and helped so many was ultimately
neither able to help himself nor to
receive from others the care which he
so freely gave. - Ann Carlson
The Rt. Rev. Andrew Hutchinson,
Bishop of Montreal, said, ''This is a
threat to the well-being of our
community and a terror to a large
segment of the population in partiClllar,
namely, the gay community.
Regardless of what may have been
Father Eling's sexual orientation, he
was a good and caring man. His
whole life was lived out in profound
commitment to challenging the bigotry
of a violent world."
-Kim Byham
In Print . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ . ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '
Andrew, You Died Too Soon
By Re\i. Richard B. Gilbert
Contributing Writer
The Rev. Corinne Chilstrom, author.
Minneapolis: Augsburg Press, 1993.
I first met Corinne Chilstrom five
years ago when I brought her to
Bur.lington, Iowa, to participate in
our annual conference on grief.
As a light approach to a heavy
subject, I introduced her as "the first
lady of the EL(;A." The crowd chuckled
with delight. Rev. Chilstrom is
the wife of Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America Bishop Herbert
Chilstrom.
'
She is also one of a very few "first
ladies" of grief counseling, for she
grabbed hold of the 250 people there
as they have never been grabbed
before, wrung us through, yet gently
sootned us, ·shoved us · forcefully
beyond previous understanding of
grief, yet welcomed us into her home
and story in a way that made us feel
like family. She introduced .,us to
Andrew, her adopted ' soi:i, who committed
suicide as a young adult.
Corinne's magnetic style, her
charm, her might, her pastoral pres~
In Print, briefly ...
Womeant W orship:
Interpretatioonfs N orth
AmericaDn iversity
This book is a collection of essays
which probe the meaning and the
manys hapeso f contemporarfye minist
worship. Suggestionasr e offered
for revitalizing traditional liturgical
expressionsin relation t.o women's
experiences. Authors are Majorie
Procter-Smiathn dJ anetR . Walton
-FromW estminster/JoKhnno xP ress
OutingS: hatterintgh e
Conspiracoyf Silence
Thisi s the mostc ompletbeo okt o date
on outing. Authors Warren Johansson
and William Percy analyze the
subjectf rom the perspectiveo f the
shifting religious attitudes toward
homosexuaelx pressio.n.
-FromH affingtonP arkP ress
Journeyo f theS oul
Author Ruth H. Lang has written this
little booklet'1 o inspiret he readert o
take hope and reach out for a measure
of life which has not as yet been
realized."
-FromW omaPnr ints1, 18W esSt parks
St.,G alenKa S6 6739
ence have carried over into this book,
a book that must be read · by all
bereaved families and those dealing
with grief due to a suicide. It is also a
book that will be a gift to caregivers
and those in need of caregiving, as
happened that day in Burlington,
when the 20 (out of 250) who I personally
invited because they shared a
similar story, were shouting through
their posture, their gestures, their
reactions, "Right on, sister... you
understand!"
Read how, yes, a
pastor could lash
out at God in
helpless rage, yet
feel closer to him at
the same time.
This is not another ''how-to" book
on grief. There are too many of those
already. I know. I have read them.
Like the great teacher and storyteller
Darcie Sims,. Corrine is doing this as
it is said on the streets, about matters
related to grief, "She's saying, What it
is!"
Andrew, You Died Too Soon is a
collection of short vignettes. Even the
three teaching sections (adoption,
suicide, anger, plus a helpful look at
the Psalms on our relationship with
God in all of this), come across as
story, and with a grand permission to
be ourselves and to claim our own
story.
Read the book straight through,
skip around, read sections at a time ...
but read it! Read about how she
doesn't buy pears anymore, because
they were Artdrew's favorite fruit.
Some things are never the same
again. Read how they strung lights
in the hallway because they needed
something of the holiday. Read how,
yes, a pastor, could lash out at God in
helpless rage, yet feel clos,erto him at
the same time. Read about the
importance of ritual (familial and
religious), when the rituals may be
the only pathway you 'have to pull
people together.
The section on adoption is
especially important, for not enough
has been written about the "absence ·
_ of connectedness," which is what
adoption may feel like. It is an
important subject that needs more
discussion. Adoption may be the best
choice in a difficult situation, but it
carries its weight in scars.
The book's purpose is to help you to
affirm your grief, find your pathway
to healing, and to meet the loving
God (in the theology of the cross) who
is with us in our suffedng, understands
our suffering, and is the one
expression of "sensibility" (i.e., covenant)
in those moments and chapters
when there i.s only pain. 1
As a grief counselor and teacher, as
well as chaplain, it is both my prayer
and my commitment to get Andrew,
You Died Too Soon into the hands of
bereaved parents and families, pastors,
church members, seminarians,
counselors, people who want to care,
and those many countless folks who
mean well, but often say and do the
things that hurt. The_bereaved have
enough pairt on their own. For every
person who reads this book there are
countless folks who will be touched,
understood more empathetically,
cared for along the way, drawn closer
to a caring God who might otherwise
seem to have abandoned them
(another death). Then one might
hope that the church might begin to
carry out in her ministries, her
programs and her liturgies what Jesus
has not only promised in himself, but
demanded of us as that task which
sets us apart from others. "Blessed
are those who mourn, for they shall
be comforted."
Thank you, Corinne, for sharing
your pain, your story, your son.
Thank you Andrew, for helping me
with my own adoption issues.
Through the author and the son, I
have gained two friends and .also a
renewed strength to seek the hope I
need on my own grief journey.
The goal was peacemaking
between evangelicals and
liberals: But then there
was· a muttlet: .. and a gay
Quaker i:tctivist is the
prime suspect.
"I never suspected a Quaker mystery
could be such a page turner. Great
fun."
-Mark Hulbert, Publisher
Hulbert Financial Digest
" ... an intoxicating witches' brew of
sexual politics and unFriendly
intrigue ... Prophetic and scary!"
-Alan Pell Crawford, author
Thunder On the Right
Order now from Second Stone Press
Quan.
□ MURDER AMONG FRIENDS
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SecondS tone-March/April1, 99.4[ jzj
Calendar ......... . ~ ........................................... .
Presbyterian Church
Coming Out Day
MARCH 6, "For All The Saints" is the
theme of this day, set aside for coming
out in/to/for/with the Presbyterian
Church as a lesbian, gay, or
bisexual Christian or. as one who
supports the full membership of all
persons regardless of sexual orientation.
For information contact Rev.
Lindsay Louise Biddle, 3538 22nd
Ave. So., Minneapolis, MN 55407,
(612)724-5429.
Black Church
National Day of Prayer
MARCH 6, The Second Annual Black
Church National Day of Prayer for
the Healing of AIDS, coordinated by
The Balm In Gilead, Inc. This
campaign for a spiritual commitment
to fight AIDS calls on the over 500,000
black churches in the United States to
set aside this day of prayer. For
information call (212)281-4887.
PLGC Midwinter
Midwest Conference
MARCH 11-13, Presbyterians for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns is planning its
midwinter conference and retreat in
the Des Moines area. For information
contact Eastern Iowa PLGC, P.O. Box
3202, Iowa City, IA 52244.
American Society on
Aging ,Conference
MARCH 18-22, Special educational
events, including "Gay and Lesbian
Aging Issues" will punctuate the
ASA's 40t_h Aimual Meeting at the
San Francisco Hilton Hotel. Sessions
· will include topics on AIDS and
elders and overcoming barriers to
health and social services for Gays
and Lesbians. ASA's lfask Force on
Lesbian and Gay Aging Is~ues will
present three days of programming
designed to help service providers
understand the special concerns of
gay and lesbian elders. For
information call 1-800-537-9728 or
TT /TrY /TDD 1-800-735-2929 or FAX
(415)974-0300.
Conference of Lesbian,
Gaymale, Bisexual
and Transgender
Seminarians
APRIL 22-24, ''Finding Our Voices" is
the theme fpr this fourth annual
conference to be held at United
Theological Seminary of the Twin
Cities, New Brighton; Minn. Dr.
Christine M; Smith, UTS professor
and author of Weaving the Serman:
Preaching in a Feminist Perspective and
Preaching as Weeping, Canfessian, and
Resistance: Radical Respanses to Radical
Evil, is the keynote speaker. The
conference is a lime of prayer, play,
and the construction of grassrcots gay,
theology . For information write to
r-· -- . . . L18;, SecondStone-M~ch/Aprii, 1994
L/G/B/T Caucus , United Theological
Seminary, 3000 5th St. NW, New
Brighton, MN 55112
LGCM
Annual Conference
APRIL 15-17, London's Lesbian and
Gay Christian Movement sponsors its
annual conference. St. Alban's
Centre, Baldwin's Gardens, London,
is the setting. Keynote speaker is
Prof. William Countryman, professor
of New Testament, The Church
Divinity School of the Pacific and
author of Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual
Ethics in the New Testament and Their
Implications for Today. For information
contact LGCM, Oxford House,
Derbyshire St., London, UK E2 6HG .
More Light Churches
Conference
MAY 7-8, This gathering of members
of Presbyterian congregations who
welcome and affirm gay and lesbian
members has met annually since 1985
for worship, fellowship, education,
sharing of resources and models of
ministry, and planning for evangelism
and outreach. St. Luke Presbyterian
Church, Minneapolis-St. Paul,
Minn., is the host. The theme of the
conference is "From Dialogue to
Ministry: A Positive and Practical
Approach to This Historical Moment."
For information , call St. Luke Presbyterian
Church, (612)474-7378 or Dick
Hasbany, (503)757-8243.
CMI Retreats
MAY 20-22, Communication
Ministry, Inc., a organization of
Catholic lesbian nuns and gay
brothers and priests sponsors the
Gentle Warrior Retreat (men only).
For information write to Steven
Botkin, Men's Resource Center, 30
Boltwood Walk, Amherst, MA 01002.
JUNE 20-24, Emmaus House, Perth
Amboy, N.J., is the setting for this
retreat held in conjunction with the
celebrations of Stonewall 25 in New
York City. JUNE 27-JULY 1,CMI
hosts a retreat at the Marianist Center
in Cupertino, Calif. For information
write to Communication Ministry,
P.O. Box 60125, Chicago, IL
60660-0125.
Spiritfest '94 .
MAY 27-30, This annual gathering of
gay and lesbian Pentecostals features
worship, music, prayer and ·workshops
. The <Zoriference will be held in
Arkansas . . For information contact
Linda Harris, (817)520-7919.
Mercy of God
Community Retreat
JUNE 3-5, The Mercy of God
Community sponsors its Third
Annual Religious Life Weekend and
Retreat at the LaSalette Shrine and
Retreat Center in Attleboro, Mass.
The gathering offers an opportunity
to explore religious vocation and
enrich one's prayer life . For information
contact Br. Ron Francis
Creapeau-Cross, MGC, Mercy of God
Community, P.O. Box 41055,
Providence, RI 02940-1055.
Ecumenical Institute of
Sacred Choral Music
, JUNE 19-21, The United Church
Coalition for Lesbian and Gay
Concerns sponsors an ecumenical
choir camp for gay, lesbian and
bisexual Christians. The camp will
proceed the UCCL/GC 14th Annual
National Gathering on the Rutgers
campus in Newark, N.J. and will
culminate with a major concert on
June 23rd at a nationally known
church. The event will unite the
voices of 200 gay, lesbian, and
bisexual Christians as part of Gay
Pride Week m New York City. For
information contact Rev. Christine
· Leslie, (908)598-0862, 125 Summit
Ave., #4, Summit, NJ 07901.
Eighth Annual
Golden Threads
JUNE 24-26, Lesbian women from all
over the United States, and some
from other countries, will gather at
the .Provincetown Itm in Provincetown,
Mass., to celebrate what they
are and their age, whatever it is.
Entertainment will be provided by
Heather Bishop. Golden Threads is a
worldwide social network of lesbian
women over 50, and women who are
interested in older women. For
reservation information write to
Christine Burton, Golden Threads,
P.O. Box 60475, Northampton, MA
01060-0475.
American Baptists
Concerned National
Retreat
JUNE 27-30, Madison A venue Baptist
Church in New York City will host
this retreat, themed "A Celebration of
Stonewall and Our Wholeness" in
commemoration of the 25th anniversary
of Stonewall. Attendees will
have the opportunity of participating
in the many activities of New York's
Gay Pride Week. Retreat leader is
Dr. William R. Stayton. For information
contact American Baptists Concerned,
872 Erie St., Oak1and, CA
94610, (510)465-8652.
ConnECtion '94
JULY 1-4, Evangelicals Concerned
Western Region sponsors its annual
gathering to be held this year at
Chapman College in Orange County,
Calif. For information write to
ECWR, P.O. Box 4750, Denver, CO
80204.
Lutherans Concerned
National Gathering
JULY 14-17, The National Assembly
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
of Lutherans Concerned/North
America will be held on the campus
of the Uruvers1ty of North Carolina in
Charlotte. For information contact
LCNA, P.O. Box 10461, Chicago IL
60610-0461. '
National Association
of Black and White
Men Together
JULY 16-24, Over 200 people are
expected to attend this organization's
14th Annual Convention to be held at
the Sheraton National Hotel in
Arlington, Va. The theme ''Breaking
the Chains of ISMS" will be addressed
via workshops, guest speakers, and
cultural/ social events. NABWMT was
formed in 1980 as a "gay, multi-racial,
multi-cultural organization committed
to fostering supportive environments
· wherein racial and cultural barriers
can be overcome and the goal of
human equality realized." For information
contact NABWMT, 1747 •
. Connecticut Ave. N.W ., 3rd Floor,
Washington, DC 20009-1108,
(202)462-3599, (800)NA4-BWMT.
1994 GLAD Event
AUGUST 12-15, The Gay, Lesbian
and Affirming Disciples Alliance will
me':t at Mercy Center, Burlingame,
Cal!f.-, for its annual gathering.
Faahtators are Cynthia WintonHenry
and Phil Porter. For information
on this Christian Church
(Disciples of Christ) event contact
GLAD, P.O. Box 19223, Indianapolis,
IN 46219-0223, (206)324-6231. .
Conference for
Catholic parents of
Gays, Lesbians .
SEPTEMBER 30-0CTOBER 2,
'Turning the Key," the first national
retreat for Catholic parents of gay and
lesbian children which will support
parents in their key roles of promoting
understanding and empathy in
the church, will be held at the
LaSalette Center for Christian Living
m Attleboro, Mass. Facilitators will
be Sr. Jeannine Gramick, SSND, and
Fr. Robert Nugent. The weekend will
involve story-telling, presentations,
film, discussions, communal prayer,
qmet hme, worship and . socializing.
For information contact Fr. Robert
Nugent, 637 Dover St., Baltimore,
MD 21230, (301)864-8954.
LGCM Retreat
N0':13MBER 11-12, England's
Lesbian and Gay Christian
Movement sponsors a retreat led by
Helen Loder, SSM and Rev. Malcolm
Johnson. This is a unique weekend
opportunity of meditative reflection in
an affirming c?mmunity, during
which there will be talks, discussions
some silence and lots of relaxation. '
The Royal Foundation of St.
Katherine in London is the setting.
For information contact LGCM,
Oxford House, Derbyshire St.,
London, E2 6HG, UK.
Noteworthy T . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
UFMCC leader celebrates
10th anniversary
t.MR. RA VI VERMA celebrated his
10th year as Direct or of Adminstration
at the UFMCC church headquarters
in 1993. Rev. Troy Perry
praised Verma for his "professionalism,
creativity, intelligence and
devotion."
American Baptists Concerned
adds chapters
t.THE GROUNDWORK was laid for
thr ee new American Baptists Concerned
chapters at the regional retreat
of ABConcerned/New England.
Retreat participants decided that the
New England chapter would be
diyided into three groups: ABConcerned/
Massachusetts, ABConcerned/
Connecticut and ABConcerned/Rhode
Island. For information about the
Connecticut group call (203)267-2456;
Massachusetts cafl (617)625-3121. For
· information about the national organization
for gay and lesbian Baptists
contact American Baptists Concern ed,
872 prie St., Oakland, CA 94610,
(510)465-8652.
MCC Nashville in the
news, growing .
t.AS A RESULT of interviews with
new pastor · Rev: 'Dr: ·Buddy Truluck
in a Nashville daily newspaper and
HOUSING,
From Page 7
need for time and spa ce to continue
dialogue," he said. Regarding the
City of New York, Bishop Anderson
reiterated his conviction that the
seminary not concede to outside
pressure, but continue to work within
the structures and teachings of the
Church. In suggesting a future
policy, he said he supported an
approach involving shared responsibility
between the seminary and
diocesan bishops regarding housing
at GTS and .that the church's bishops
nee!=! to be more explicit about their
CMI,
From Page 12
homosexuality, an immense achievement
itself, but we · are hearing ourselves
called ii:i-our gay and lesbian
identities," he says . "We are members
of Christ's Body, and this is our
salvation. As gay and lesbian people
we have special gifts and . a purpose
in the Church and world. In this is
.our sanctification. How wonderful,
then, that God could make a people
out of those who were 'no-people."'
The Board 0f Directors of CMI, like
their subscribers, represents a · spectrum
of religious communities of
on three local radio stations, MCC
Nashville reports membership more
than doubling. The Board of Direcs
tors has increased the pastor's position
from part time to enough to meet the
UFMCC requirement for full time .
pastor and open the way for the
church to apply to regain its UFMCC
charter. In the spring, the church is
planning to move to a larger location
and greatly expand the opportunities
for church groups and community
meetings. For information on MCC/
Nashville, call (615)251-9057.
Raleigh church buys
new building
t.ST. JOHN'S MCC, Raleigh, North
Carolina, has closed on the purchase
of a $425,000 building, reports Rev.
Wayne Lindsay, pastor. The building
has a sanctuary that seats 228.
The church reported an $18,000
offering on Sunday, Dec. 5.
Small church realizes big dream
t.OPEN DOOR MCC, a UFMCC commissioned
church with 63 members in
Boyds, Maryland, recently achieved
something few churches of its size
have ever done. Open Door built its
own $285,000 church building from
the ground up. "We are proud and
we hope other churches will say,
expectations for the students from
their individual dioceses.
At its convention last fall, just after
the GTS Trustees met, the Diocese of
New York called for the Episcopal
Church to end unequal treatment of
its employees. A direct outgrowth of
the GTS controversy, the resolution
was introduced by St. Clement's
Church, Manhattan, and was overwhelmingly
approved. The resolution
calls for its introduction at
General Convention later this year.
- Bruce Parker and Episcopal News
Service
women and men and diocesan clergy.
The editors of Communication newsletter
and CMl Board of Directors are all
volunteers. The funding for the ministry
comes from newsletter subscriptions,
retreat fees and the contributions
of friends of the CMI network.
Subscriptions to CMl newsletter are
$25.00 per year in the U.S., $30.00
per year in Canada and Mexico,
$35.00 elsewhere. The mailing list is
confidential and -the newsletter
arrives in a sealed envelope. For
information write to Communication
Ministry, Inc ., P .O. Box . 60125,
Chicago, IL 60660-0125.
'Hey,.if that little church can do it, we
can, too!"' said Rev. Ke·n Ehrke,
pastor. While most new MCC buildings
are constructed in urban areas,
Open Door MCC is unique because
the new church was built in a rural
area. -Rev. Kittredge Cherry
Rural Gays, Lesbians
connect on computer
HHE RURAL ALLIANCE Network
has gone on line with interactive services
for Gays and Lesbians living in
rural. and suburban areas of the
country. The network plans to provide
information and entertainment
and aims to "put an end to the
dominant urban gay /lesbian/bisexual
stereotype." Services are now
available 24 hours a day by phoning
(805)287-0010 with your computer
modem.
United In Spirit takes
a higher profile
llUNITED IN SPIRIT, a San Franciscobased
coalition of gay- and lesbianpositive
religious organizations, has
recently increased its visibility in the
community. The group was formed
in response to .a meeting called by
Rev . Lou Sheldon of the Traditional
Values Coalition held at Hamilton
Square Baptist Church in San
Francisco on March 4, 1993. The
name United In Spirit was chosen as
an attempt to be as broadly inclusive
_of religious traditions as possible.
The desire of the group is to join with
other groups who actively oppose the
politics of the religious right and to be
proactive in proclaiming the loving,
inclusive · reign of God. For information
contact United In Spirit, Rev.
Mickey Williamson, First Congregational
Church, 432 Mason St., San
Francisco, CA 94102, (415)392-7461.
Cloister begins publication
ll'THE HARMONIST," the only
handset and hand printed periodical
in the country, is being published by
the members of Christiansbrunn
Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is a
community of gay men who are
Harmonists . The 63-acre cloister is
located in the Mahantongo Valley nf
central Pennsylvania. The newsletter
features a column on what is
happening at the cloister, how the
animals and crops are doing, and
what events are coming up. It also
features a monthly article on the
Pennsylvania Dutch culture of the
Mahantongo Valley, focluding . interviews,
German recipes, farming techniques,
and more. The cost if $15
annually and includes associate
membership. For a complimentary
copy write to Bro. Johannes,
Christiansbrunn Kloster, RDl, Box
149, Pitman, PA 17964.
20th anniversary for
Integrity founder
llLOUIE CREW, founder of Integrity,
Inc. and professor at Rutgers University,
and Ernest Clay celebrated the
20th anniversary of their commitment
ceremony on February 2, 1994, 12
days before Valentine's Day.
"Rev. Dee Dale Day"
MS PART OF the celebration of Rev.
Dee Dale's 10th anniversary as pastor
of MCC Louisville, Ky., the county
judge executive proclaimed Dec. 10 as
"Rev. Dee Dale Day" in Jefferson
County, Kentucky.
Cathedral of Hope
offers bond issue
llCATHEDRAL OF HOPE MCC,
Dallas, one of the fastest growing
churches in America, is selling bonds
in order to refinance current bonds at
a lower rate. The · previous issue
came three years ago whei:i banks
refused to finance the construction of
the congregation's new facility which
now .stands as the world's largest
lesbian and gay church. The new
issue will allow: the church to add
parking and construct new" classrooms.
For information .on the investment
bonds call (214)351-1901.
Dignity/Maui chapter folds
llDIGNITY /MAUI has discontinued
its meetings, according to chapter
organizer Ron Drum.
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personal diaries of which critics have said,
' Unquestionably the nchest h1stoncal document
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-Organizatiqns . .
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LAST SUPPER,
From Page 11
saying 'This cup which is poured out
for you is the new covenant in my
blood."
Direct reference to the Last Supper
as a 'frequent worship experience in
the early church is in I Corinthia11s
10:14-33 and 11:17-34. In both of
these passages, Paul gives stress to
the theme of inclusiveness and unity
that the communion meal expressed:-
Jesus applied the Old Testament
and the Passover traditions to himself.
He focused it all on his own person
and mission. 'This is my body. This
is my blood ." Jesus was very selective
in his interpretation of passover
traditions. The passover meal incjuded
many items that Jesus could have
used as symbols of himself: the slain
lamb, the bitter herbs, salt, etc. He
used the most simple of all. The host
at the Passover had the responsibility
of explaining the items used in the
meal.
Jesus took the common elements of
every meal, bread and drink, and
transformed them by his · use into
vehicles for revealing the glory of
God. This freedom of Jesus in seeing
all things in his own personal and
individual way is one of God's gifts to
you and me through Christ. We also
come to the communion meal with
our personal needs and problems and
experiences that make each of us
unique and . unlike every other person
in the world.
In Communion you are invited to
experience God through Jesus Christ
in the way that fits you and with
which you feel most comfortable and
the least distracted. You are not only
free to understand the bread and cup
in your own individual way; you are
encouraged and invited to do so. .
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, __ ..:._.....,.......,.,.... __ ..,...:..:.......,.,. ........ ___ _:_ _____ --:-_-..,,------'---------------:----------~ !j) Second S.torie-March/April, 1994
l
!.
~Suicide ends saga
of troubled gay
Episcopal priest
B Y THE VOICE OF INTEGR I TY
Early Sunday morning,
September 19, 1993, the
Rev. Herbert G.
McCarriar, Jr., of
Coudersport, Penn. jumped to
his death from the ninth floor
of a hotel in Williamsport,
Penn. McCarriar was vicar
of Christ Church, Coudersport
and a mission in Brookland,
Penn. He ·was a pastor with a
reputation for "sticking his
SEE SUICIDE, Page 16
- ... ~v:" ..,-,:.~""" • ,_~;:,;- · ' _ SUBSCRIBE NOW ONE
Trad1\1onal Values Preachers
THROWING STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE
FAMILY VALUES
or .
DIRTY LAUNDRY?
BY JOHNN Y TOWNSEND
cause : Now, we.'re not . ., .~.,... · . ., •.;' . ; . :' ;.. . :-
· _ 1,iarsc l:,uJ if wtdici .~toop ~Qi
, their ~tr:ategy,,here's how i
. it would go. :
Ed Note: For th e benefit of first time
readers, S econd Stone is a Christi an
newsjourna l that affirms the val ue
and digni ty of gay and lesb ian peo•
pie. Th is arti cle, written to expose
the strategy of the right wing, is
satirically written.
T he rallying cry of "family
v alues" to fight against g ay
privilege is far too late in
getting started . Families are,
after all, the main re ason God ·condemns
Gays and Lesbians, because
they not only are incapable of the
love necessary to strengthen families,
but they are also act ively seeking lo
destroy other people's families.
They divorce their spouses in order
to "come out" and live a life of hedonistic
pleasur e, ab andoning th e ir
spouses and their children . They
bre ak their parents' hearts by
flagrantly leaving the fold of God and
P. 0. Box8340
New Orleans, IA 70182
Address Correction Requested
blatantly throwing it in their par ents'
faces. And they generally support
abortion rights, endorsing the literal
killing of millions of unborn children
e very yea r . We must stand up
against Gays and Lesbians and wake
Americ a up · to th e impo rtan ce of
family valu es . .
Think of the strength and love of
Mississippi parents Albert and Helen
White, who when their son started
hint ing he might be gay, nipped the
sin in the bud. "If I had a son who
was gay," Helen said, "I hope he'd
never tell me ." Albert stood up for
the family even more strongly. "I'd
rather hear my son was dead than
that he was gay," he said. Their son
slit his wrists two w eeks later,
proving the neces sity of their ha rd
line stance. Only Gays would be so
anti-family as to try to destroy it
through the grave sin of suicide.
Gays ancf Lesbians, despite their
obvious attempt to gain special rights
by denying rights to Christians, are
trying to pretend they only want
equal rights . Two women in Florida,
Clara N. and Deanna S., even went to
the expense of adopting a child from
Korea in order to pretend to be a
family . Cl ara and Deanna, rather
than have families of their own, had
been living togeth~r in despicable sin
for ov er 15 y ears before they de cided
to adopt this innocent child . to further
th eir political agenda. After two
years, they applied at a local zoo for a
family pass and were denied. Then
SEE COVER STORY,Page 14
BULK RATE
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
NEW ORLEANS, LA
PERMIT No. 511
T , From the Editor T ....... . ...................... .
Get the words right
for those dirty deeds
By Jim Bailey
An idea occurred to some youth at a gathering of the Southern Baptist
Convention a couple of years ago and it has since caught on in some oth er
denominations. "True Love Waifs" is a program in which young people make
a commitment not to engage in sexual intercourse until they marry. It's
unconv entional thinking a_mong adolescents and I admire those who are
giVJng this some'!hought. Of course, this is talk show material. People seem
genumely surprised that there are teenagers out there who, m spite of a
barrage of sexual imagery in the media and entertainment, have not mastered
walking orgasm .
This one earticular talk show pitted the True Love Waits kids against the
back-0f-the-bus crowd. One teenage boy kept glancing rather lustfully at the ·
TLW girls and said, no, he hadn't signed up for True .Love Waits . He
wantea to keep his options open. Very open, as in right after the show,
maybe.
Then the show got confusing. Words like celibacy, fidelity, monogamy,
fornication, and so on, got thrown around and . suddenly no one was
speaking a common lijnguage anymore . It was much like being with a
. gay /lesoian group when ihose same words pop up.
Most of these misused words describe some condition relating to marriage
in the traditional sense and cannot really accurately be applied to gay and
lesbian relationships.
_ Monogamy does not have to do with sex. It literally means "one marriage."
It can mean one marriage for a lifetime, in which case even very few
heterosexuals could be considered monogamous, or-it can mean one marriage
at a time . Monogamy is therefore not the best word to use to describe a
relationship (unmarried) involving exclusive sexual partners.
Celibacy is the state of not being married or of having made a-vow not to
. marry. Only by extension of this definition does it mean abstaining from
sexual intercourse (because the celibate person is not married and therefore
should not have sex.) Celibacy bests describes a person in relation to
marriage, not sex.
Fornication also has to do with marriage . It describes sexual intercourse
.between people other than a married couple. Fornication is sex outside of
marriage. (AIi gay and lesbian sexual intercourse in any country that does
not recognize gay marriage is therefore fornication.)
Adultery is sexual intercourse with som~ne oth er than the . marriage
partner. If a married partner has sexual intercourse with a single person,
the married person has committed adultery and the single person may be said
to have engaged in fornication. ·
Most of these words describe some condition relating to marriage , which
does not include, in any part of the ·U .S., gay and lesbian committ ed
relationships.
If a gay man or lesbian is waiting for love before engaging in sexual
.intercourse, does the word chaste describe their situtationT It might, but
·only if the individual had not previously engaged in same-genaer sex
activity in a state which has laws prohibiting such . Being chaste means
being mnocentof unlawful sexual intercourse . .
l\ny gay or heterosexual person abstaining from sexual intercourse
outside of a commited relationship (or marriage) can be said to be practicing
fidelity to that condition . A gay or lesbian person who has sexual
intercourse with only the person to whom he or she is committed is also
practicing fidelity. (But the act of sexual intercourse would best be
aescribeO, in countries wher e ga7 marriage is not legally recognized, as
fornication.) Fidelity is the state o being faithful . to something which one is
bound by pledge. (Marr ied heterosexuals practicing fidelity may also be
said to be mon~amous.)
There will be a pop qui z on this later.
Thanks for the very i!ood response to our reader survey in this past issue.
w •• ,"'."""'°'" ~,,.,,. <2------------~
SECOND STONE Newsjoumal, ISSN No. 1047-3971, is published every other
month by Bailey Communications, P. 0 . Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
Copyright 1994 by Second Stone, a registered trademark.
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returned should be accompanied by a stamped, self addressed envelope. Second Stone
is otherwise not responsible for the return of any material.
SECOND ~TONE, a national ecumenical Christian social justice newsjoumal
with a specific out~each to sexual orientation minorities.
PUBLISHER/EDITOR: Jim Bailey
CONTRIBUTORS FOR THIS ISSUE: Rev . Rich a rd B. Gilbert ,
Rev . Dr. Buddy Truluck. Johnny Town send
~J Second Stone-March/April, 1994
THE NA flONAL ECUMENICAL CHRISTIAN
NEWSJOURNAL FOR LESBIANS, GAYS AND BISEXUALS
Contents ......... ... . ..... ~ ....... .. . rn
[[]
From The Editor
You're definitely not monogamous
Letters/Commentary
When you don't like it, but you can~ leave it
!fl Newslines Liu -
1117 .The Last Supper · L!!J The first communion, by Rev. Dr. Buddy Truluck
• Communication Ministry / I 7. / A safe place for gay Catholic nuns,
~ brothers and priests
- . .
Love Will Find a Way ·
. The door was open for coming out
Cover Story
The propaganda of "family values"
\ 16 \ The Death of Fr. McCarriar
In Print
Andrew, You Died'Too Soon ,
· Reviewed by Rev . Richard Gilbert
•'181· Calendar L!QJ
I 19 I Noteworthy
120 I Classifieds
:comment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ................ . • ...
Like it or leave it
: By Johnny Townsend
· Guest Comment N ow that I am out of the Mormon
Church (I asked to be excommunicated),
why do I still care
what the Church believes? A
Latter Day Saint friend smugly asked
me why, if I was comfortable with my
: life, did I feel a need to justify myself
: to the Church. He said, "Nobody is
forcing you to be affiliated with the
. Church," but this is, in fact, my point,
: that I am forced into affiliation. How
. can I not be affiliated when my
parents, sister, grandmother, and two
sets of aunts, uncles, and cousins are
members? How can the position of
: the Church have no effect on me
: when not only my family but several
: of my friends are also LOS?
Besides, Church membership is
more than an "affiliation." It is a
deeply embedded way of life. One
doesn't change one's life overnight
: the way one can change clothes or
- dye one's hair. Wheri I moved to
: Italy for my mission, culture shock
: lasted almost a year. When I moved
back to America (my homeland, for
goodness' sake), it lasted six months
as I adjusted all .over again. I would
: suggest that changing a physical
: environment, while it can cause major
: adjustment problems, is not nearly
_ the traumatic event that changing
one 's internal environment, one'.s
belief system and program for life, is.
Even today, ten years after my return
from Italy, I can't watch a movie sef in
that country without feeling a very
, deep sense of longing. Simple
: watching Greystoke, about an English:
man being torn between Africa and
: England, · makes me miss Italy
: deeply, and I was only in Italy two
years, versus fifteen years in the
Church. So to claim that I am not
forced into affiliation with the Church,
when all my family, some of my
friends (all of them at one time in my
life), and my past and my insides are
I am affiliated for
life to an unjust
organization,
and I have a
right and a duty.
to say so.
all deeply connected to the Church, to
me is not a sound argument.
Further, I feel a strong ki1)ship with
other gay Mormons. Even if I'm
happy where I am, does this mean I
have no obligation to help the many
thousands of people who are going
z._f;!;.( Pontius' Puddle
0
through the incredible agony I
experienced for years? Don't I have a
moral obligation to lessen their
suffering?
"If you don't like the Church, leave
it and be done with it." This is in
many respects the same argument
avplied to anyone who protests any
policy of the U.S. government.
Because I don't thirik blacks should sit
at the back of the bus, rather than say
this is wrong or try to do anything
about it, I should just move to France
or Japan and leave the oppressed
blacks in their predicament. Rather
than protest the abuse of the environment,
I should move to New Zealand
and let the Americans destroy the
countryside . Leaving without trying
to make things better hardly seems
like the most noble goal in the world.
As long as I'm happy in Hawaii, I can
let the people in the Love Canal toxic
-waste dump suffer. To try to help
them would prove I didn't really like
living in Hawaii after all.
So, in response to _my friend's
YourTum
unasked but hinted at question, no, I
don't really feel deep inside that I'm·
sinning, that the Church really is
right after all. I care what the Church -
says about Gays because I _ want to
make life easier for myself by not
being condemned by friends ' and
family, or if not condemned, pitied,
and to make life easier for other gay
Mormons. Of course, life isn't supposed
to be easy. Or fair. So I guess
then it's okay to refuse women the
right to vote. And blacks the right to
an education. They're supposed to
suffer, aren't they?
Certainly, we have to accept that
there are injustices in the world, but
I'm not convinced God doesn't want ·
us to do anything about them, for fear
we might make life too easy for
someone. Let's leave it up to him to
decide what problems we need to
face. We don't need to create or
condone man-made suffering on
anyone. I am affiliated 'for life to an
unjust organization, and I have a
right and a duty to say so.
..._
............................ ........... " ................................ .
Brooklyn, New York
Cancel
his
subscription
Dear Second Stone,
A few days ago I received the first
issue of a gift subscription to Second
Stone. I have rarely been so irritated
by so many instances of bad grammar,
misused words, wrong word
breaks and general editorial sloppiness.
By the time I had read the first
two pages, I had given up.
Examples? In the editorial on page
one, "But beyond that, and more
importantly, conferences ... " What
you undoubtedly mean is: ''But, beyond
that, and [it is) more important,
conferences ... " As to misused words: ·
"taught hair net." Surely the word is
"taut." Word breaks? It is "reli-gion"
not "rel-igion," "knowl-edge," not
"know-ledge." And on and on and
on.
And in addition, my name is
incorrectly spelled on the mailing
label. I do not know why I was sent a
gift subscription. However, I do
know that I have absolutely no
interest in receiving your m~gazine.
Sincerely,
AMS
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Editorial
appreciated
Dear Second Stone,
I wanted to take a moment to let
you know that the editorial [Weak
Faith and Voice From Many Gay and
Lesbian Churches and Organizations]
in the last issue touched me very
much: It was full of tilings that I have
said myself and I believe it was right
on .
I am pastoring a new independent
work here in Albuquerque . We have
about 30 or 35 who are in some stage
of association with us and have found
a wonderful building to rent. Much
of the ministry that God has done
through me in the past has been
Bible teaching and leading in praise
and worship on worship team~. -We
have already assembled a worship
team and are working on contemporary
Christian music with those wonderful
soaring harmonies. We are
taping all of the services, and are
investigating duplication services so
that we can have solid Biblical
teaching available for others. We
even have space in the building for a
bookstore. Church is fun again!
Blessings in Christ,
Pmnela ·white
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· Openly gay Episcopal deacon ordained in Pennsylvania
· 6.DESPITE THE PRESENCE of about a dozen ·protestors, the Rev. James B.
Robertson, an openly gay man, was ordained to the vocational diacortate at
St. Asaph's Episcopal Church in Bala Cynwyd, Penn. Robertson has lived in
a committed relationship with another man for over 20 years. Speaking at the
point in the service where obj~ctions may be rais ed, the Re v . David Moyer,
rector of the Church of the Good Shepherd in Rosemont, Penn., told the
ordaining bishop, the Rt. Rev. Allen L. Bartlett, Jr., that "you will hurt the
Diocese of Pennsylvania if you do this." Moyer and four laymen who spoke
claimed that the ordination was an "illegal act" that would flout the
"discipline of the Church." Bartlett respondea that the "compassion of Christ
and the compassion of the church encompass both you and what we do here
today." - The Vorce of Integrity
Gay Lutheran pastor defrocked
6.P ASTOR ROSS MERKEL of St. Pa.ul Church in Oakland, Calif., has been
ordered "removed from the ordained ministry of the Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America, effective March 25, 1994" by a church discipline
committee. Members of the congregation are expected to defy the committee's
order. As a result of publicly commg out to his congregation iriJune of 1993,
Bishop Lyle Miller brought formal charges against Merkel on December 15,
1993 citing the constitution of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America:
"Practicing homosexual persons are precluded from the ordained ministry of
this churcb." As a gay man in a committed relationship, Merkel has been
charged with "conduct incompatible with the character of the ministerial
office." "I'm not angry and I'm not afraid," said Merkel. "I feel as if my life is
more complete and tli.at I have fewer barriers to maintain, because now there
is no great secret to protect. All of that energy is freed up for more productive
things." - Mvent
Gay pro-life group commemorates Roe v. Wade
6.TWELVE MEMBERS of the Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians joined
50,000 other pro-life activists on January 21 for the 20th Annual March for
Life commemorating the announcement of Roe v. Wade on January 22, 1973.
The PLAGAL marcliers, one woman and eleven men, came from Boston, D.C.,
Philadelphia, . and central Pennsylvania. "I feel like I stick out like a sore
thumb in the gay community," said Donna Marie Kearney, a lesbian member bf.
PLAGAL, wfien interviewed by Bay Windaws. "So I pretty much stay away
from gay events. I just won't get involved with groups that aren't consistent
with my views against violence ·in all £.irms. I. won 't stand with
fundamentalist ~hnstians who are opposed to gar, rights, and !'won't stand
there and support Lesbians who are pro-abortion . ' THe group was joined by
a 20-year-old l$ay man who was unaware of PLAGAL. He had prepared a
gay-oriented sign a.nd boarded a bus to witness his support as a pro-life gay
man, expecting to be the only one. Rally speakers refrained from remarks even .
possibly homophobic, a distinct and welcome imfrovement over some past
years, according to PLAGAL members. Straigh pro-lifers were generally
friendly and encouraging, asking about information on PLAGAL and shaking
hands . Concerned Women for America was reported in the D.C. media to the
"proud to work with pro-life homosexuals." Janet Parshall, assis tant to the
president of CWA, stated, "We would welcome them with open arms. If their
singular cause is pro-life, we'd march anytime, anywhere with them." For
information on P'CAGAL, contact the group at P.O. Box 33292, Washington,
· DC 20033, (202)223-0697.
Philippine cardinal condemns condom use
6.CARDINAL JAIME SIN, the Catholic archbishop of Manila and the most
·. influential religious official in the Philippines has declared that health
authorities who promote contraception are "evil" and that young people
shouldn't believe that condoms can prevent transmission of HIV. "Do not be
deceived by those who say that sexually transmitted diseases can be stopped
by external devices and gadets," Sin said. "Man-made devices are bouna to
fail." - Outlines
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Rev. Phelps to become Gov. Phelps?
CiREV. FRED W, PHELPS, SR., who has made a name for himself by picketing
the funerals and memorial services of gay men who died of AIDS and berating
thei_r families and friends for supporting "fags," said last week that he will
decide. w1thm a month whether to launch a full blown campaign for the
Dem_ocratic nomination for governor of Kansas in the August primary
election. Phelps, an unsuccessful candidate for the Democratic nomination for
governor of Kansas in 1990 and U.S. Senator in 1992, filed a statement Jan . 6
with the •commission on Governmental Standards and Conduct naming the
treasurer of his candidate committee. Phelps called his fellow nomination
candidates "three blind mice, stumbling around out there looking for an issue;
they're three peas in a pod on these fag-loving, baby-killing issues."
- Southern Vorce
No blessings for gay relationships,
says N. C. diocese
CiNORTH CAROLINA EPISCOPALIANS turned down a proposal to ask the
national church to create a blessing ceremony for gay and lesbian
relationships. The clergy voted _73-57 against a _resolution asking for such
ntes. To be approved, tfie resolution needed a ma1oritv of both the clergy and
lay delegate groups at the Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina's 178th
annual convention. When the reso1ution failed among the clergy, the lay
members did not vote.
- Associated Press
Vatican blasts statements about Pope and HIV
t-.VATICAN OFFICIALS have sharply criticized an Italian television
personality for suggesting that Pope John Paul may have been infected with
HIV as a result of a blood transfusion when he was shot in an assassination
attempt in 1981. Mino Damato said during an Italian TV program that the
Pope had developed a virus "often associated with HIV and AIDS su fferers."
Joaquin Navarro-Valls , the Vatican's chief spokesperson, said it had been
reported at the time that Pope John Paul had contracted cytomegalovirus
during a 1981 transfusign and that it was hardly news and that the infection
is not restricte\i to people with HIV. "It appears to me that to f'resent these
facts now as news, whlle talking about another sickness that is clinically ...
different, is superficial and forced," said Navarro-Valls. "It is deplorable to
formulate, wifh regard . to someone who has the right to b.e respected,
diagnostic hypotheses based on presumptions:, especially by.someone who
does not have the scientific credentials to do so . - Outlines
Chicago p~rish leaves Episcopal Church over gay issues
t-.THE REV. WILLIAM BEASLEY, Rector of the Church of the Resurrection
in West Chicago,. and his wife Anne, the parish's deacon assista _nt'. asked
Bishop Frank Griswold of Chicago to release them from their ordination
vows because they could "no longer in good conscience" be in communion with
the bishop as the ecclesiastical authority of the diocese. The ·Beasleys said .
that they made the request because of Griswold's sympathetic stance on the
participation of homosexuals in the life and ministry of the diocese. By
allegedJy reducing biblical authority to an advisor[ statu ·s in order ''.to
sanction the ordination and sustaining in ministry o priests who practice
homosexuality," the bishop and the diocese, they charged, have abandoned the
church's historic faith and doctrine. In . a separate letter, Resurrection's
vestry announced they would also disassociate themselves from the diocese.
- The Vorce of Integrity
ELCA sexuality study director
may be considered for bishop .
6.DELEGATES TO THE Evangelical Lutheran Church in America's 1994
Sierra Pacific Synod convention will choose from 17 men and women who
have agreed to have their names put forward as bish op candidates. Among
the names: Karen Bloomquist, who headed up the task force that produced the
controversial first draft of the ELCA's statement on sexuality. Bloomquist
will probably not be seen as a serious candidate, accordin_g to Advent, but
she may end up as a spoiler if she divides the vote of the small but determined
group of delegates that has already decided to "vote for a woman, no matter
what."
Eliminate Gays by genetic engineering,
says former religious leader
t-.LORD JAKOBOVITS, a former leader of Britain's Orthodox Jews, has
called for genetic engineering to eliminate the homosexual orientation ·. "If we
could, by some form of genetic en!$ineering, eliminate these trends, we should,
as long as it is done for theral?,euhc purpose." He calls Gays "unnatural" and
equates homosexuality with 'stealing, adultery and murder.'' Other Jewish
leaders have resoundingly condemned Lord )akobovits for his remarks
including Rabbi Stephen Howard, head of Britain's Union of Liberal and
Pr~ressive Synag~ues. - Cruise
QUOTABLE
"You have radicals in your group, too. They painted the
word 'faggot' all over my house."
- Lou Sheldon, when asked about anti-choice
extremists who have murdered doctors who
perform abortions
·News Lines
~ .................................. .
Seminary sponsors ex-gay training
t.THE 1RINITY_ SCHOOL for_ Ministry in Ambridge, Penn., the Episcopal
Churchs most right-wmg semmary, recently conducted training for-persons
"to minister to the sexually broken," including Gays, Lesbians and survivors
of sexual abuse. To meet what.it calls "the urgent need" for such training,
-Trinity sponsored its '_'Living Waters Leadership School" in January. This 1s
beheved to be the first such course at a semmary of any mainstream
denomination in North America. Trinity's dean and president, the Rt Rev.
William C. Frey, has long been associated with so-called ex-gay n1inistries.
The program, called "Living Waters Sexual Redemption in Christ," was
devised_oy Andrew Comiskey, 35, a self-proclaimed ex-gay now married with
four children, and a pastor of the Vineyard Christian Fellowship in Santa
Monica, Calif., an independent evangelical church. - T7ze Voice of Integrity
· Gay organist forced to resign
from Presbyterian Church
t.ROBERT PLIMPTON, an internationally known organist who has played
the pipe organ at San Diego's First Presb:,,terian Church for 11 years, has
resigned because of recent decisions by church elders. In a Jetter to the
1,100-member congregation, the church's ruling body declared that there is no
place at First Presbyterian for employees wno participate in, endorse or
support "deviant sexual behavior such as fornicahon and homosexuality." "I
was not closeted.," PJimpton said, "but... I also have a very strong conviction
that anY.one who claims Christ as their personal Savior has a place in the
church . ' - Union-Tribune
. Half of wars waged have a religious root
. ·t,ABOUT HALF OF the 50 wars waged every year throughout the world
. have a religous background, reports a recent survey by the Development and
Pea·ce Foundation in Bonn, Germany . . Lutheran World Inf_ormatwn reports
· · that the survey shows that most religiously motivated conflicts began m the
. 1990s·. The longest lasting are the religiously motivated conflicts in the
·: Middle East and Northern Ireland. Durmg the past year, wars based on
·religion broke out in Afghanistan, Tadzhikistan and India. Religions in the
Asian successor states (such as Tadzhikistan) of the former Soviet Union are
_particularly "ethno-nationalist" in character . The reseachers state that
religious tensions are often related to the "existential conflicts" leading to
war. "The meaning of life seems to be threatened, and thus religiously
motivated wars are often fought in a more obdurate, unrelenting and brutal
\YBY than , 0"1ers." --. B.eligion Wat cit · ·
Lutheran staffer with AIDS comes out, resigns
t,PHIL KNUTSON, an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America staff member
at churchwide offices in Chicago, was recently diagnosed with AIDS and .has
.resigned his position . At the same time he came out to his co-workers as a gay
man. Knutson, was has been HIV positive for seven years, said, "It is
, :somewhat of a relief to have the seven years of waiting over and the secret
oul But that relief is minor compared to the relief that finally living a lifetime
of half-truths about my lifestyle is coming to a close." Knutson sent an open
letter via electronic mail to ELCA church headquarters staff, in which he
described what he called his dark and lonely journey. "There was no one to
talk with about the grief of a broken relationship," he wrote, "there was no
daring on my part to risk talking ·back to people who spoke hatefully about
my lifestyle m front of me; I dicf not dare to advocate publicly for tli.e equal
treatment of gay and lesbian people; I suffered with the predecessor church
body statements on sexuality which placed me in the same category with
'.murderers and fornicators'; most recently - a few da:,,s after the draft on
human sexuality came out- I sat with some bishops and their staffs and had to
. listen to them denounce the statement as sometfung that should not even be
published, much less studied ." - Advent
Domino's head honors Dr. Dobson
· tlTOM MONAGHAN, head of Domino's Pizza, recently awarded Dr. James
Dobson the Domino's Humanitarian Award. Dobson, president of Focus on
the Family based in Colorado Springs, is one of the leading opponents of gay
rights and a primary supporter of Colorado's anti-gay ana unconstitutional
Amendment 2. • Seattle Gay N= . ·
Atlanta church boots anti-gay political group
MT THE URGING of a number of progressive lobbyists and at least one
state legislator, the Central Presbyterian Church, Atlanta, has asked Nancy
Schaefer's anti-gay /lesbian Family Concerns group to vacate the office space
it had been using in the church, across from tne Georgia Capitol. The group
planned to use Central as its base of operations during this year's legislative
· session. But church officials informed Schaefer and her supporters that they
had to leave and they did. The church's decision came just days after Family
Concerns held a strategy session at Central in which the group's members
: · were reportedly encouraged to infiltrate the offices of gayllesf>ian friendly
· state legislators. -. Southern Voice
Gay life for the birds
t,. THE ST AATSZEITUNG newspaper, Rotterdam, reports two male flamingos ·
at Rotterdam Zoo have bonded so closely that they repeatedly tried to steal
eggs from nesting females to raise their own baby. Moved by the persistence
, oI the. gay birds, zookeepers finally gave them their own fertilized egg which
the two liatched and began raising as their own.· Outlines
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Second Stone•March/April, 1994 ti
Two Episcopal dioceses come out for gay rights
AT ANNUAL CONVENTIONS, held
fanuary 29-30 and February 4-5, 1994
respectively, the Episcopal Dioceses of
Washington, D. C. and Newark, New
Jersey overwhelmingly reaffirmed
their support of _the rights of Lesbians ·
and Gays both within the Episcopal
Church and in society at large and
~alled on the national convention of
the Episcopal Church meeting this
,ummer in Indianapolis to do likewise.
Both dioceses have ordained
::ipenly lesbian and gay clergy and
ooth diocesan bishops have been
threatened with censure because of
:heir support. '
The Washington Diocese addressed ·
two issues, calling on the national
Episcopal Church to guarantee nondiscrimination
based on sexual orientation
in the '1ife, worship and governance
of this church," and asking the
- church to support the addition of
sexual orientation to the 1964 Civil
Rights Act or similar.federal legislation,
Both resolutions were put forward
by Integrity /Washington and
passed easily.
Washington's Bishop, the Rt. Rev ,
Ronald Haines, was much in the
news in 1991 when he ordained the
openly lesbian Elizabeth Carl to the
priesthood, A move to censure him
at the national convention of the
J] Second Stone-March/April, 1994
Episcopal Church that summer in
Phoenix was defeated.
The Diocese of Newark has long
been the most "gay-friendly" diocese
in the country , Their outspoken
bishop, the Rt. Rev. John Spong, is
the author of numerous books which ·
attack anti-gay attitudes in the church
and he has on several occasions
ordained openly gay and lesbian candidates
to the priesthood.
The northern New Jersey diocese
first expressed its support of Lesbians
and Gays in 1987 when a diocesan
task force on sexuality and family life
presented a 15-page report which
· spoke about pre- and post-married
heterosexual persons and about
homosexual persons. On the latter it
said, "Ideally, homosexual couples
would find within the community of
the congregation the same recognition
and affirmation which nurtures and
sustains heterosexual couples in their
relationship, including, where appropriate,
liturgies which recognize and
bless such relationships,"
In 1989, the Diocese established an
official ministry with lesbian and gay
persons, The Oasis, which has been
immensely helpful to the lesbian and
gay community and has brought
numerous persons into or back into
the Episcopal Church,
The Newark convention approved
six pro-gay resolutions , One, on the
federal civil rights act, was identical
to that passed in W ashirigton.
Another resolution called on the
national church to establish educational
curricula for youth and their
parents to assist them in understanding
and accepting their own and
their children's sexual orientation.
The most controversial of the
resolutions to be sent to the national
convention was one calling for "proposed
supplementary rites and
ceremonies for celebrating the com_
mitment of gay and lesbian couples
who are members of this church to
life together." Essentially the identical
resolution was approved in
November by the conventions of both
the dioceses of Massachusetts and
Rhode Island. Gay and lesbian
Episcopalians hope that a groundswell
of support from various parts of
the country will lead to national
approval of such rites.
In the Episcopal Church, major
changes such as the ordination of
women or changes in the liturgy are
considered by several General Conventions
before final approval, These
SEE GAY RIGHTS, Next Page
UFMCC plans Stonewall 25 activities
THE UNIVERSAL FELLOWSHIP of
Metropolitan Community Churches
will sponsor two major events in June
in New York City during the
celebration of the 25th anniversary of
the Stonewall riots. "Hands Around
the God Box," a mass prayer vigil for
ending homophobia in the church,
will be held Friday afternoon, June
24, at the lnterchurch Center, unofficially
known as 'The God Box," 475
Riverside Drive, which houses
national headquarters for numerous
religious organizations, including the
National Council of Churches and the
United States offices of the World
Council of Churches , The event will
be co-sponsored by the UFMCC and
the lesbian/ gay caucuses of many
other Christian denominations.
"Celebrating Stonewall 25: A
Generation of Faith" will be a worship
celebration Saturday evening,
June 25, at Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln
Center. The Rev , Troy Perry,
founder and moderator of the
UFMCC, will be the main speaker.
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Farrakhan aide's speech bring-s attention to
Nation of Islam's gay bashing
REMARKS MADE BY Khalid Abdul
Mohammad, the former national
spokesman of the Nation of Islam,
during a speech in New Jersey this
past November have focused new
attention on the persistent anti-Semitic
and anti-gay attacks from the
, organization. Nation of Islam leader
Rev. Louis Farrakhan dismissed the
spokesman under political pressure,
saying his remarks were meanspirited
but correct in content.
Tim Mcfeeley, executive director of
the Human Rights Campaign Fund
was the first national gay leader to
attack' Abdul Mohammad's speech,
which had been widely criticized by
national Jewish and African American
leaders.
Early in his remarks, Abdul
Mohammad used these words to
describe the late Bayard Rustin, an
African American gay man who
organized the 1963 March on Washington
and is generally regarded as
one of this country's greatest civil
rights leaders: "some boot-licking,
butt-licking, butt-dancing, bamboozled,
half-baked, half-fried, sissified,
punkjfied, pasteurized, homogenized
nigger."
At another point in his remarks he
had this to say about the King James
version of the Bible: "King James
version. Here's a sissy. Can you
name a version of the Bible after a
screaming sissy. The she-nay-nay of
his day. The wonder of his day. God
does not name holy books after
homosexuals."
Following a long tirade attacking
Jews and praising Hitler for his
"greatness for evil and wickedness,"
Abdul Mohammad turned to the
subject of South Africa. In his
remarks he stated what should be
done in that country: "We kill
everything white that ain't right. We
kill the women, we kill the children.
We kill the babies. We kill the blind.
We kill the crippled. We kill the
faggot. We kill the lesbian. We kill
them all."
"Why kill the women?" he
continued, "Because they lay on their
back, they are the military or , the
army's manufacturing center. They
lay on their back and reinforcements
roll out from beneath their legs. So
kill the women too."
Throughout his speech, Abdul
Mohammad made repulsive attacks
on Jews, Lesbians, Gays, women,
Christians and African Americans
who believe in the non-violent struggle
for equal rights, including Nelson
Mandela, Congressman John Lewis,
Spike Lee and former New York
Mayor David Dinkins. He made
several references to "Gay Edgar
Hoover " while speaking about the
former Director of the Federal Bureau
of Investigation.
At one point in the speech, Abdul
Mohammad predicted .what the reac- ·
tion to his speech will be: "Khalid
UCCUGC event unites voices of gay,
lesbian, bisexual Christians
STARTING SUNDAY EVENING,
June 19th the United Church Coalition
for Lesbian and Gay Concerns
will sponsor an ecumenical "choir
camp" for gay, lesbian, and .bisexual
Christians. The choir camp will
proceed the UCCL/GC 14th Annual
National Gathering on the Rutgers
campus in Newark, N.J. The camp
will culminate with a major concert on
June 23 at 8:00 p.m. at a nationally
known church in Manhattan.
The first Annual Ecumenical
GAY RIGHTS,
From Previous Page
resolutions will at least assure that the
issue of same-sex commitment ceremonies
will begin the count-down to
approval at the 1994 convention.
The three resolutions in Newark
were submitted by Integrity members.
The diocese's Task Force on
Children and Youth proposed two
additional resolutions, one calling for
diocesan youth and camp programs
"to enable teenagers of every sexual
orientation to interact with positive
teen and adult gay and lesbian role
models," and the other calling on the
Institute of Sacred Choral Music for
Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Christians
will unite the voices of 200 gay,
lesbian and bisexual Christians as
part of Gay Pride Week in New York
Citf this coming June.
"Finding our voices as gay, lesbian,
and bisexual Christians takes on new
meaning when we gather to sing the
music of our fai.th in the fullness of
who we are," said a spokesperson for
the UCCL/GC. (See Calendar.)
diocese to establish a "family life
education curriculum.. . to include,
among others, ... same sex relationships,
AIDS." Both were overwhelmingly
approved.
Of the six pro-gay resolutions, the
one which was most narrowly
approved called on all parishes in the
diocese which sponsor or house Boy
.Scout troops to dialogue with them
about the Scouts' anti-gay positions.
Although no specific mandates were
given; parishes were required to file
a report of such meetings by June 1.
This resolution was submitted by a
special committee of the Diocesan
Council.
· Mohammad came on our campus and
insulted the Jews and the whites and
their homosexuals. Well, you all be
go (sic) in the same group together. I
didn't come here to take no
prisoners."
Mcfeeley, in a letter to Elsa Gomez,
president of Kean College, site of
Abdul Mohammad's speech, noted
that the speech was cheered by
several hundred students and faculty
memb ers of the college. He called
the reaction "a sad and tragic reflection
on the rising level of intolerance
that has gripped too much of
Ameri'can society."
"Free speech is a right, but civil
discourse is a responsibility," Mcfeely
continued . "Mr. Mohaminad's grotesque
speech is a reminder of how
ignorance can turn to hatred, and
how hatred can tum to violence." He
urged Kean College to begin a
process of education on the importance
of diversity, tolerance and
understanding to a civilized society.
"One way to do this," Mcfeely
wrote, "is to challenge ,hate speech
with more speech. I w.ould suggest
that the College bring a ,wide variety
of people to speak on campus,
including people who have been the
object of Khalid Mohammad's hatred,
such ·as Holocaust survivors , African
American civil rights workers, and
lesbian and gay America .ns who are
fighting for an end to discrimination."
Seminary reconsiders
discriminatory housing policy
By The Voice of Integrity
THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES of the
General Theological Seminary in
New York City has agreed to reconsider
the seminary's current housing
policy that prohibits domestic partner
households. The decision follows a
long controversy after a tenured
faculty member charged GTS with
discrimination on the basis of marital
status and sexual orientation. _
Last June ; Dr . Deirdre Good, .
professor of New Testament at GTS
and a member of Integrity/New
York, filed a complaint with the New
York City Commission on Huma~
Rights when the seminary requested
that her female companion vacate
their shared apartment. The seminary's
housing policy stated that
couples must be married "as understood
by the Episcopal Churcl1."
At the board meeting, Trustees
consulted a variety of legal opinions,
including that of David Beers,
Chancellor to the Presiding Bishop.
This was followed by a report from
Prof. Thomas Breidenthal, chair of the
Dean's Advisory Committee on Seminary
Housing . Prof. Breidenthal
outlined areas of committee consensus
which included the need to preserve
the Seminary's residential character
and to respect the authority of the
Episcopal Church House of Bishops
and General Convention. He also
discussed areas in which it had not
been possible to reach a consensus.
These included proposals to suspend
or review the present policy and the
suggestion that students must have
the written permission of their Bishop
or ecclesiastical authority before l10using
at GTS.
Bishop Anderson spoke following
the presentations and suggested the
possibility that God might be using
the seminary to help the greater
church find a way to face these
matters squarely. He reiterated a
determination to end what he termed
a "conspiracy of silence around this
issue." To promote further discussion,
the Trustees then formed smaller
groups to explore a set of questions
formulated by Bishop Anderson in an
attempt to help bring a theological
and moral focus to the deliberations.
Trustees later received a number of
reports and petitions, including a
report from the GTS faculty, a letter
signed by faculty members of the
Union Theological Seminary in New
York and a draft statement signed by
nearly 50 GTS students and spouses -
all three calling for a change in the
current housing policy .
Bishop Craig Anderson, dean and
president of GTS, shared with the
Trustees his own position on a
number of the topics discussed. He
acknowledged he had felt the need to
withhold his own thoughts on the
subject in the interest of keeping
conversation open and providing
consultative support to the Trustees
and others. His intention, he said,
was to take a stand without taking
sides. On the central underlying
question of the nature of homosexuality,
he outlined a number of
differing perspectives and said he
was certain that many of these
viewpoints were represented by the
Trustees, point to not only a discontinuity
of practice but of opinion. He
admitted his own struggle with the
issues, but said that he had himself
come to accept the validity of sexual
orientation that does no harm and
res_ults in relationships marked by
commitment and love, and that he
supported the · ordination of gar- and
lesbian petsons .
The ultimate goal of the seminary,
he said, must be to develop a way of
living together that promotes honesty
and justice. "I am convinced of the.
SEE HOUSING, Page 19
Second Stone-March/April. 1994 [1]
Catholics respond to -pope's encyclical
By Dignity/USA
GAY, LESBIAN AND BISEXUAL
Catholics will respond to the latest
declaration from the Vatican with
anger, sadness and disappointment,
according to Marianne Duddy , president
of Dignity /USA.
In a statement coinciding with the
release of Pope Jolm Paul !I's encyclical
Veritatis Splendor, Duddy said
that the papal document "indicates
that the Vatican is totally out of touch
with the possibilities for the dmrch in
the modern world. This document is
one of fear and backsliding, rather
than an embrace of the new oppor.
tunites before us."
The new encyclical was developed
by the pope over a period of six
years. Addressed to the world's .
Catholic bishops, it criticizes recent
developments in Catholic moral
theology and holds that natural law,
as traditionally .understood by the
church's magisterium, is the basis for
a moral law which transcends history
and culture and absolutely forbids
certain actions, including "contraception,
direct sterilization, autoeroticism,
premarital sexual relations, homosexual
relations and artificial insemination."
Further, the pope condemns
dissent from moral teachings, ·and
instructs bishops to take disciplinary
actions against theologians and
. institutions. The pope asserts that
true human freedom must not be
opposed_ to nature, but. b e subject to ·
the objective truth which is found in
both natural law and in revelation.
"Dissent, in the form of carefully
orchestrated protests and polemics
carried on in the media, is opposed to
ecclesial communion and to a correct
understanding of the hierarchical
constitution of the people of God," the
pope writes. "Opposition to the teaching
of the church 's pastors cannot be
seen as a legitimate expression either
of Christian freedom or of the
diversity of the Spirit's gifts."
By ruling out the possibiHty for
dissent and discussion, Veritatis
Splendor minimizes the role of conscience
and demands absolute adher- .
ence to the church's moral teacl1ings,
according to Duddy. 'The continued
rejection out of hand of our forthright
and honest critique of homophobic
church policies is of particular concern
to lesbian and gay Catholics. We
have long struggled with how to
integrate our sexuality with spirituality,
and how to remain faithful to a
church whicl1 condemns our sexuality
as 'intrinsically evil."'
"Until now, there has always been
the opportunity for dialogue among
theologians and people in ministry,"
add ed Duddy. "Our greatest fear is
that ·the pope and bishops will start
punishing people who act out of the
very compassion which Jesus d emonstrated
throughout his life."
"Unfortunately, it will further
undermine the
credibility of the church."
Rather than quelling dissention, the
encyclical seems to have encouraged
controversy even in its drafting.
According to Catholic News Service,
the text went through several drafts,
with a rumored section on papal
infallibility remov e d before final
publication.
At the Vatican pr ess conference
releasing the encyclical on October 5,
Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, prefect of
the Vatican Congregation for the
Doctrine of the Faith, made a slip of
the tongue, saying the encyclical had
profited from "contestations" with
theologians. He had meant to say
"consultations" but after correcting
himself added with a laugh that
"contestations" also was accurate.
Ratzinger denied that the pope had
wanted to extend papal infallibility in
the encyclical.
A persistent rumor in Vatican
corridors now is that Veritatis Splendor
is the first of two related texts; another ,..
would apply this encyclical's principles
to specific moral issues.
Ratzinger confirmed that such a
document is a working hypothesis.
Duddy predict ed that Veritatis
Splendor and any related encyclical
would receive a chilly response from
American Catholics. "We believe that
most U.S. Catholics will see this as
irrelevant teaching . Unfortunately, it
will further undermine the credibility
of the clmrch."
Pope: Gay marriage is a threat
POPE JOHN PAUL II chastised gay
unions as "a serious threat to the
future of the family and society" in a
100-page letter on family values
addressed to the world's Catholics,
according to a report in the New York
Times. The pope said that gay unions
could not be "recognized and ratifie\i
as a marriage in society" and warned
Catholics to refrain from supporting
the notion of gay or lesbian marriage .
The document was issued two weeks
after the European Parliament in
Strasbourg offered support for the
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Montreal murder leaves legacy
By The Voice of Integrity
Toronto, November 15, 1993. It was
the funeral of another gay Anglican
priest. Almost 900 people filled St.
James Cathedral to standing room
only. Bishop Terence Finlay was in
attendance. The service lasted over
two hours.
The priest was murdered in an
anti-gay attack. What was extraordinary
about this funeral service was
that the preacher, the Rev. Canon
Glenn Pritchard, acknowledged the
priest's sexuality, saying, "'Being gay
is no reason to be murdered. This
death is ' nonsense because it makes
no sense."
The Rev . Warren Eling, found slain
in his rectory on November 10, 1993
was a victim of "the forces of hatred
and fear," Pritchard continued. "We
arc all victims of thc~c dark realities."
Eling, 53, wa .q found strang led and
bound lo a headboard in the rectory
of downtown Montreal's St. James the
Apostle Church, where he had served
for two years. He had served as a
curate at the Cathedral in Toronto
from 1964 to 1973 and then as rector
of various Toronto parishes . before
moving to Montreal.
In his eulogy, Pritchard praised the
"devotion, energy, creativity, decency
and order Eling brought to the
Anglican church and its parishioners."
Police say that Eling, unmarried,
frequented gay bars in Montreal's
west end. The killer stole his wall et,
computer, sound system and hi~ car.
The car was found abandoned on the
Toronto waterfront on November 12.
Roger Leclerc, spokesman for
Montreal's Committee of Gays and
Lesbians Against Violence, told the
press that Eling was the 14th gay
man slain in a little more than three
years in that city and that he is fed up
with police inaction about the
slayings. "How many bodies will it
take before police realize that a
problem exists?" he asked.
Leclerc said there are too many
simi lar ities in many of the killings
not to suspect that someone is stalking
Gays in bars, accompanying them
home and killing them . 'The manner
in which they met their deaths is
chillingly similar."
In addition to the service in Toronto,
there was another equally affirming
memorial service for Eling at his
parish church in Montreal on Novemher
12. The preacher was The Ven
Peter Hannen, Archdeacon o
Montreal.
People may never know whethe1
Eling's killing was a case of violenci
against homosexuals. Hannen tolt
900 mourners, "but in terms of whJ
we're here, it doesn't matter. Sud
speculations don't change our revul
sion at Warren's death, neither shoul,
they make any difference to ou
affirmation of his life.
"If this outrages you enough," h
continued, "then there's somethin .
you can do. You 'may want to mak
common cause with those who wi
appear before the Quebec Huma
Rights Commission early next wee
to demand that something be don
SEE MURDER, Page 1;
Dignity/LA responds to archdiocese's "outreach"
RESPONDING TO A recent announcement
by the Roman Catholic
Archdiocese of Los Angeles of the
formation of an advisory board as
part of the Church'.s "outreach to
·homosexuals," Keith Kimball, President
of Dignity/Lo s Angeles, said
that such efforts ·continue to be based
in hypocrisy. Gay men and Lesbians
"will not find true welcome and
acceptance in the Catholic Church as
long as the hierarchy condemns us for
acting on our innate sexual .nature,"
: Kfmball said at a me.eting of Dignity
leaders.
Rev. Peter Liuzzi, director of the
archdiocese's Pastoral Ministry to the
Lesbian and Gay Community, said
that providing an environment where
Gays and Lesbians feel welcome may
eventually .lead them to "choose the
good." He was further quoted in a
Los A,ngeles Times article as saying
that the ultimate aim of the group
would be to help · Gays and Lesbians
remain celibate. 'This is a delicate
ministry because it involves moral
issues," he said.
Dignity /Lo s Angeles, the founding
chapter of Dignity/USA, with 84
chapters throughout the U. S., has
been serving tfte lesbian/ gay community
in southern California for
more than 24 years.
United Church gathering coincides with
international gay/lesbian events
"HEARING . OUR VOICES" is the
-theme for the 14th National Gathering
of the United Church Coalition for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns scheduled to
meet on the Rutgers University
campus in Newark, New Jersey June
21-24. The New York City area was
chosen to be the site for this year's
gathering in order to be in proximity ·
to several international gay /lesbian/
. bisexual events happening in the
city: Gay Games IV and Cultural
Festival and Stonewall 25.
Phil Porter, program coordinator for
the UCCL/ GC, said, 'The focus of the
gathering will be sharing our stories
and experiences with each other, with
specific focus on the similarities and
differences experienced by men and
women within the Coalition, the
church, the gay community, and in
society... Additional opportunities for
fellowship and reflection include
gathering for sing ing, prayer, worship,
entertainment, and Coaliti on
business ..
Gay Games IV, an international
Olympic-style athletic and cultural
festival open to all, is scheduled for
June 18-25. Stonewall 25 is a collection
of events commemorating the
25th anniversary of the Stonewall
Riots which occurred in Greenwich
Village, New York City in late June of
1969. This event is considered the
birth of · the modern lesbian/ gay
movement. On June 26, 1994 the
International March on the United
Nations to Affirm the Human Rights
of Lesbian and Gay People will be
the highlight of Stonewall 25. A rally
in Central Park will follow the march.
The Riverside Church in New York
City will host a number of Coalition
related events, including an ecumenical
choir concert on June 23 and
a Gay Pride breakfast prior to worship
on June 26.
Persons of any denominational
affiliation may participate in this ·
event. The registration deadline is
May 14. For more information contact
Samuel E. Loliger, 333 Argonne Dr.,
Buffalo, NY 14217, (716)877-()459 or
Rev. Craig Hoffman, 1453A Lexington
Ave., New York, NY 10128-2506,
(212)289-3016.
Speaking for an organization which
provides a wide array of services to
the gay/ lesbian community, Kimball
said that gay and lesbian people are
the first and easiest target for the
church. "But anyone," he warned,
"who practices sex outside of marriage
is in the same boat as we."
Kimball emphasized that the
members of Dignity love their faith
and their church, which he said is
simply the worshiping people of God
according to \latican II. But he
continued by saying, "We refuse to
surrender them to a hierar chy which
seems to speak out of both sides of its
mouth."
At its1987 national convention i~ ·
Bal Harbour, Fla., Dignity/ USA
issued a statement declaring that the
group believes "that we can express
our sexuality physically in a unitive
manner that is loving and lifeaHirming...
we believe that all
sexuality should be exercised in an
ethically responsible and unselfish
way."
That statement got Dignity /LA
ousted from the Los Angeles City
College Newman Center, where it
had been meeting for more than 15
years. The Newman Center is a facil-
• ity owned and operated by the
Catholic archdiocese . The chapte
met for two years in borrowed
non-Catholic sanctuaries, until i
purchased the Dignity Center ii
Highland Park. The chapter contin
. ues to celebrate Mass every Sunday a
5:30 p.m., and hosts educationa
discussion groups, Bible studieE
HIV/ AIDS support groups . and soci.;
activities for the gay and lesbia 1
community .
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Catholi,cs endorse ·gay rights bill
A NATIONAL CATHOLIC gay rights bigotry at worst They should be or encourage a particular lifestyle any priests, brothers and nuns and a
organization that is funded and sup- ashamed," more than laws banning religious number of Catholic bishops support
ported by more than sixty religious . While the Catholic bishops of the discrimination endorses or promotes a gay and lesbian rights. "We do this
. orders of priests, brothers and nuns, state of Washington stated that they particular denomination or faith. not because we waver in our faith or
has issued a blistering criticism of the "oppose unjust discrimination" against 'The bishops' stated opposition to in our commitment to our Church,
Washington Catholic bishops' opposi- gay persons they nonetheless oppose unjust discrimination rings empty but precisely because of that cointion
to t?e state gay rights bill, . the state's proposed gay rights bill and false when they refuse to support mitment," Garcia said,
"It JS repugnant that Catholic because "this issue is not only about necessary legislation to protect the 'The denial of a person's basic civil
bishops seek to deny the basic civil discrimination but about . societal basic civil rights of gay . and lesbian rights is contrary to the Gospel and is
rights of gay and lesbian citizens," acceptance and public endorsement of persons , The bishops' duplicity -and immoral. We call upon the bishops to
sai\i ,Br. Rick Garcia, director of homosexuality," hypocrisy are an embarrassment to have a conversion of heart and to
Cat,holic Advocates. 'The bishops' Catholic Advocates challenged the right thinking Catholics," Garcia said. view gay and Iesbian (,persorts not as
opp,osition is !'Ot based on Catholic bishops '. position noting that laws Catholic Advocafet, noted that .all the enemy to be battered down but to
Church . teaching but is based on banning discrimination on the basis major Protestant denominations, the view them as· our sisters and_:b, rothers
ignorance at best and meanspirited of sexual orientation no more endorse national organizations of 'Catholic entitled to justice," he said.
Washingtonp roposala ttacksg ay and lesbianp arentingf,a milies;:
THE CITIZENS ALLIANCE of Washington
state is forcing parents and
children apart, and going to new
extremes in pursuit of its anti-gay
political agenda, say gay and lesbian
parents.
On January 10, two anti-gay
initiatives were filed with the Washington
secretary of state, setting off
petition drives to get the measures on
the November, 1994 ballot. One of
the two measures, filed by the Citizens
Alliance of Washington, targets
lesbian and gay parents and their
families with unprecedented vigor,
' INtfrf tOURTS
~:OF TIIE Lonn
:,--···, "· ~ At
prohibiting Gays and Lesbians from
becoming foster parents, adopting
· children, or gaining ,child custody in
a divorce. The measure also bars
"minority status based on homosexuality,"
prohibits schools from
presenting homosexuality as positive
behavior, and bans same-gender
marriage.
'The radical right has tried before
to deny Lesbians and Gays from
becoming foster parents and adopting
children who need good homes," said
Tim Fisher, Executive Director of the
Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition
A moving and personal
account of an issue
that won't go away. A
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and soon to be a motion
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It will make you think, it will make
you angry, -and hopefulli it will
broaden your vision of what both
• sexuality and Christian'ity at their
best can be
-Telegraph Journal,
St. John, New Brunswick
James Ferry has given a voice to
these voiceless ones and is himself
a visible incarnation of their invisible
pr.esence.
-The Rt. Rev. John S. Spong,
Bishop of Newark, New Jersey
Order no\~ from.Second Stone Press
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International. "But this is their first
.-attempt to enact legislation which
. prohibits Lesbians and Gays from
retaining custody of their own ·children
in a divorce, They would deny
us the right to raise our own children.
How is that a 'special right?"' said
Fisher, referring to the right's claim
that Gays want "special rights."
'The best interests of children" are
irrelevant in the religious right's antigay
crusade, according to GLPCI.
Buried in the fine print of the
proposition, the initiative states that
upon dissolution of a marriage where
one of the parents is gay or lesbian,
· the other parent will receive custody.
Where both parents are gay, custody
will be awarded to the nearest ·
non-gay relative. If no such person
exists, children will be taken from
their parents and put in foster care or
put up for adoption.
Children of lesbian and gay parents
around the country are reacting to the
news from Washington state . with
disbelief,
'They say they're 'pro-family,' then
they force families apart," comments
Stefan Lynch of COLAGE, Children
of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere,
the only national organization run by
and for the daughters and sons of
Lesbians and Gays. "When my
parents split up," continues Lynch, a
college All-American, "they both
came out as gay and stayed friends
and great parents . And I know a lot
of kids in the same situation. If it
were up to those people in Washington
state, I would have been taken
from my home and family, and
placed with strangers."
"If I was ever taken away from my
dad,"says Kate Ransort-W alsh, a
13-year-old whose parents split up
five years ago, "I don't know what I
would do. It's not fair. He didn't do
anything to me or anyone else. And
he's the best dad in the world."
If this initiative passes, thousands of
families in Washington state would
be placed in jeopardy.
"Parents here are scared," says
Gloria Stancich of the South _Pμget
Sound Lesbian and Gay Pai-ertts,S'upport
Group in Tacoma; Washlf\gton,
"particularly those , dealing 'with
custody issues. · Washington state is a
state that's been very fair to_ i_t~ gay
and lesbian citizens, but -We .c,af\not
afford to be complacent:" ·' ·"
''Listening to the news on the radio,
I was nauseated," says Pat Justis of
Olympia, Washington, mother of a
toddler and active in Out on a LIMB,
Lesbians in Maternity and Beyond. "I
was expecting it, but I am still
shell-shocked."
'The radical right perpetuates the
myths that · Lesb'ians · and- qays are
unfit to be parents, urtfit tq.'.be near
children," s·aid• Fisher. 'The 'truth is
there are over three dozen reputable,
scientific studies showing thai.-our
kids are no different from kids raised
in non-gay households, except: ours
are a little more tolerant of human
differences."
'The right needs a scapegoat to
coalesce its power base, and -we're it,"
explains psychologist April Martin,
author of The Lesbian a1fd 'Gay
Parenting Handbook: "We'rethe ·basis
upon which they get people ·to fork
over their money."
As the radical right increasingly
targets Lesbians and Gays in general,
and moms and dads in particular,
parents have increased their activi:sm.
"Having a child puts , fire in your
belly," says Pat Justis . 'This is not a
battle where I can sit back. There's
too much at stake for my son·. I'm
writing a letter about this initiative
and mailing it to every straight
person in my address book."
Public opinion polls show that
"coming out' ' is the most effective and
persuasive · tactic foi'': Lesbians ,i'nd
Gays. · 'The more out we are;"· agrees
Stancich, "the more they know us ·-as
human beings, -as normal everyday
working people and parents. · • ' ·,
. applied to life . The death of Jesus,
however, is explained at great length
_,.,,-in many places in the Bible.
Hebrews is devoted almost entirely
to explaining the death of Jesus and
says that suffering made Jesus complete
(2:10) and equipped Jesus to
help others (2:18). Jesus
and
·.-.:.:.· =~r~it •
Supper
BY REV. DR. BUDDY TRULUCK
Throughout the history of the The four Gospels have been called
<;hurch, the Last Supper has "pas~ion :;iarrati".~s w!th l~ng intro-
'·"'. . ,undergone .a tortuous hi11toiy · duchons. The passion" 1s a term
of use an<;l.mis_use. It became t.iken from Acts 1:3: 'To the .disciples
·<!-source .of great political power in the Jesus also presented himself alive,
. middle ages and a source of division after his suffering (Greek pathein;
. and conflict in more modem times. pathos comes from it.)." It is based on
. . I -was in Jerusalem in the summer of the word pascha, which is the word
. 1958' with a group from the Southern passover. The term passicm is used to
Baptist Seminary in Louisville, -Ken- speak of the last two days of the life of
. , lucky. One Sunday several of us Jesus, including the Last Supper,
· went by . invitation to an _Armenian Gethsemane, the arrest, trials, ·cruci,
Brethren Church service in a house fixion, death and burial. (Th.is same
beside the Garden Tomb, which is word for passion is the one used in the
the place tradition says was the burial hotly controversial statement used ·
. place of Jesus. About 30 people were against Gays and Lesbians in Romans
there . Many different countries, Ian- 1:26.)
guages, races ·and religious traditions
were represented. The communion
. ser.vice was the most meaningful one
I have ever experienced. The feeling
of unity with Christ and with the
_entire church throughout the world
-was wonderful.
.. Commun.ion gives expression to the
inclusive gospel. This is truly "good
news", to those .of us who often feel ex,
c;lu.ded and cast aside by the church.
You can _imagine that I was dismayed
;when I told .qne of the older pastors
about my c<>mmuniori at the Arme-
' nian church and he responded that he
, . would never have taken part in . it. .
He viewed the communion table as
. exclusive for not only Baptists but also
limited to the local church of which
one is a . member. He believed
strongly in closed communion, which
means that only members of a particular
denomination or even of a certain
local church can participate in the
share.cl meal of Christ together.
Suffering with Jesus as part of
discipleship is indicated in the invitation
to "take up the cross and follow"
Jesus. Paul identified with the suffering
of Jesus in Galatians 2:20: "I
have been crucified with Christ; and
· it is no longer I who live, but Christ ·
lives in me ... " and also in Colossians
1:24, where Paul makes the remarkable
claim: "Now I rejoice in my
sufferings for your sake, and in my
flesh I do my share on behalf of
Christ's body (which is the church) in .
filling up that which is lacking in
Christ's· afflictions." .
Two very important needs are met
in Matthew 26 and 27, ·and also in the
concluding sections of Mark, Luke
and John. The church needed to
explain the cross and also needed to
re-interpret the Old Testament by Jesus
rather than by the rabbinic tradition.
The resurrection is never explained
but is simply prodaimed and often
The Last Supper is the high point of
the New Testament explanation of the
death of Jesus. One of the most important
things that Jesus said in the
Last Supper was spoken .by his
careful preparation ahead of time for
this momentous event. In fact, what
Jesus did thoughout the meal said
more than words can adequately
convey. Jesus had made a practice of
setting up dramatic and forceful
events to convey his = purpose and
Il)ission to people. · His baptism in the ·
Jordan River at the hands of John the ·
Baptist was a carefully staged dramatic
beginning for his public ministry.
Other crucial events especially in
the last week of his life were planned
in advance by Jesus. The riding of
the donkey down the slope of the
Mount of Olives before the great
crowds gathered for the Passover and
the cleansing of the Temple were
carefully arranged fulfillment of Old
Testament prophecy. ·
The resurrection is
never explained but
is simply proclaimed
and often applied to
life. The death of _
Jesus, however, is
explained at great
length in many places
in the Bible.
Jesus said "My time (chairos) is at
hand ." (Matthew 26:18). This word for
time speaks of a moment filled with
special meaning. The word chron os
was used for the simple passage of
time. Eveiything in the life of Jesus
had led up to these final hours. The
followers of Jesus needed to be
perfectly clear in their understanding
and grasp of these events. A planned
time and place were arranged for
maximum effect in the proclamation
through the prophetic event of the Last
Supper.
Far too often we take on the mission
of Jesus in the church with little or no
preparation. Every time we · observe
communion we are reminded -of the .
importance of careful preparation.
Jesus prepared the setting of the
upper room and the disciples set up
the meal. Even 'the seating arrangement
was carefully planned, with the
·beloved disciple on Jesus' right and
Judas on the left. Accepting the call
of Jesus to follow him in discipleship
is the call to accept the discipline and
commitment of lime to prepare in
every way possible to let Jesus use
your life as his instrument of communicating
his life to the world.
Matthew's orderly telling of the
story of Jesus reflects the orderly and
purposeful approach to life that Jesus
demonstrated in everything that he
did, Do our lives reveal this dimension
of order, planning and purpose?
Does our church appear to be orderly,
well planned and purposeful in the
gay and lesbian community or to the
straight world? Matthew 26:17-19;
Mark 14:12-16 and Luke 22:7-13 tell of
the detailed preparation of the setting
for the Last Supper. Mark and Luke
include reference to the disciples following
a man carrying a pitcher of
water. This pre-arranged signal
would be clear because men never
carried water pots in public. Only
·women did that, a small indication of
the totally sexist society at that time.
The "upper room" provided safety
and uninterrupted time for this great
event. Most houses were one story,
so the upper room was special.
Notice that they "reclined" at the
table. A low table in the center held
the food . Jesus · and the twelve reclined
on mats or cushions in a circle
around the table. Each person faced
the table and could reach the food.
This brought the disciples and Jesus
face to face in as close physical contact
as would be possible to share food
and to talk. Though John does not
give the words of the Last_ Supper, the
setting is given in John 13 where John
tells of Jesus washing the feet of the
disciples and teaching by this dramatic
act that true greatness is being
an effective sl,ive .
The words of Jesus are brief, as
Matthew 26:26-29 gives them: And
while they were eating, Jes-:,s took
some bread, and after blessing it, he
broke and gave it to the disciples,
and said 'Take, eat; this is my body ."
And he took a cup arid ga;,e thanks,
and gave it to them, saying, "'Drink
from it, all of you; For this is my
blood of the covenant, which. is shed
on behalf of many for forgiveness of
sins. But I say to you, I wifl not drink
of this fruit of the vine from now on
until that day when I drink {t new
with you in my Father's kingdom ." .
The account in Mark 14:22-25 .is
almost identical with Matthew but
. omits "for forgiveness of sins." Luke
22:17-20 gives some variation of the
words: And having taken a cup,
when he had given thanks, Jesus
said, 'Take this and share it among
yourselves; for I say to you, I will not
drink of the fruit of the vine from
:now on until the kingdom of God
comes." And having taken some
bread, when he had ·-given thanks,
Jesus broke it; and gave it to them,
saying, 'This is my body which is
given for you; do this is remembrance
of me." And in the same way
he took the cup after they had eaten,
SEE LAST SUPPER, Page 20
Sea>nd Stone-March/April, 1994 [IJ
(d•l®1®11•~•1941•J•l~-1•11•~•~1•;r-1sa
For Catholic lesbian nuns and gay priests . and brothers, a safe place to gather 'Il struggle for gay and Jes- late~night subway from a gay libera- friend to start the newsletter, which they are bold enough to hope that
an Christians to sit in the tion meeting twenty years ago, I had would be called simply Communica- they ,might "assist the people of God
urch pews as welcomed never · felt so alone in my life," says tion. to develop and live a whole, credible
and affirmed individuals Bro. Paul. "My reflection looked back "We planned a dialogue on the and life-giving sexual-spiritual thepales
in comparison to the lonely from the window at me: 'So this is• relationship of personal sexuality, ology."
struggle for those gay and lesbian you, Paul, your whole life ahead, and · spirituality and ministry for the pur- Communication's readers are diverse
people who stand behind the pulpit there is no one in the Church you can pose of building community among in the challenges they face. Of
,or otherwise offer their lives to the speak to, no one who would under- lesbian and . gay clergy and reli- course, the Roman Catholic Chimh's
church. For lesbian nuns and gay stand."' gious," says Bro. Paul. "For me, its
brothers and priests in the Roman . Feeling he had no models, no peers primary motivating force was the
Catholic Church, the journey is even to help him discern where he was · desire not to be alone in my journey,
more difficult, given the Church's going, no one near at hand with ·a and the parallel desire not to have
periodic outbursts against homosex- simifar journey against whom h ; others suffer such aloneness in theirs
·uality and the slim chance that justice could measure his life, he began a as I had in mine. We began to write
will replace such condemnation any- perilous journey that'year. He began about the joy and pain of our journey
time soon . searching for such peers, trying to get as homosexual priests and religious,
Fifteen years ago, a newsletter was other rriests and religious like weaving a conversation each month
started for Catholic lesbian nuns and himsel together for a day of out of any letters which readers sent
gay brothers and priests who wanted recollection or a weekend retreat. in. In writing and rereading our
to communicate with each other and A few years after this, Bro. Paul's unfolding story, many of us discovered
ourselves communicating
with God about areas we had always
managed to hide." Lonely
late-night
subway
trip gave
life to
ministry
offer one another support. During
those years, Commumcution's readers
have shared their stories for the
purpose of furthering their sexual/
spiritual integration. At the same
time, this essentially private and
anonymous dialogue has served to
build up a sense of community
among its participants, a unique and
hidden segment of the Body of Christ.
In the spring of 1973, Bro. Paul
came out as a gay man to his family.
He was in his early thirties then, and
had been a Roman Catholic priest for
seven years. Having been a successful
teacher of theology at the university
level, he was well thought of by
many friends and colleagues. His
forte was a course on religious experience.
Corning out as a gay priest was
to be a religous experience which
would forever afterward put blood in
those words for him - the blood of a
wound and the blood of life.
"Riding home by myself on a
mother died suddenly, tearing him
from a womb he says he discovered
he had never quite left. He spent the
whole summer writing ab_out his
trauma and trying to discover its
meaning for him. Writing, he found,
enabled him to talk with God about
his pain and it became a way for
God to speak to him .
"By the fall of 1977, a fellow priest
and I were ready to lead a workshop
for gay priests and religious at the
national convention of Dignity," says
Bro. Paul. "We had gathered from allover
the country, and had only
ninety minutes in which to share our
struggles and visions. We would not
meet again for two more years."
Wanting to continue the dialogue in
the form of a newsletter, Bro. Paul
asked for names and addresses. In
spite of the risk, sixty people signed
the list. After Bro. Paul got home, he
· worked out plans with a woman
A sense of community developed
among Communication readers, although
most of them would never
meet each other and would only
communicate anonymously through
the pages of the newsletter.
Something even more profound
began to happen, according to Bro.
Paul. "In the vulnerability of sharing
our stories with one another and with
God, we began hearing God speaking
a word back to us," he says. "As
each of us fits in a piece of our
corporate puzzle, we have begun to
sense that God is speaking to us not
simply as individuals saved out of a
multitude of others but as persons
being drawn together into a body, a
body that is Christ's."
Communication newsletter is part of a
broader ministry sponsored by Communication
Ministry, Inc . ., which is
has a three-level outreach. The first
level, the written dialogue among
members, is represented by the
bimonthly newsletter and updates.
Normally, the newsletter includes a
commentary based on the letters the
organization receives, reflective essays,
poetry, reviews of relevarit
books and films, and notices of upcoming
events.
The second level is the face-to-face
dialogue fostered by CMI's retreat
series and by linking with readers
through correspondence or support
groups in various parts of the
country.
The third level is represented by
CMI's endeavor to turn their conversation
outward toward the broader
Catholic Church. The Journal, published
periodically on a theme of
topical interest, is part of the outreach.
CMI wants Church leaders and others
to hear of their journey in a way that
will challenge. In turn, they open
themselves to whatever response they
receive, trust _ing that Jesus Christ is
best served when his people break
open the bread of their lives to one
another. And · with Christ's Spirit
view of homosexuality is the overwhelming
burden but readers ·also
deal with such issues as celibacy and
the question of when one awakims to
one's sexual orientation in relation to
the making of the promise of
celibacy.
Communication readers share
remarkable stories of courage, battle
and resolution. "Even though I had
known for a long time that my sexual
orientation was different, it wasn't
until I was nineteen years · old that I
came out into the gay community;·
says a lesbian sister. "Simultaneously,
I also felt called to religious life. So I
did what every good, traditional
Catholic woman would do. I went to
· confession. After twenty minutes
with the friendly parish priest I felt
like I had been pushed out of an
airplane · from forty thousand feet,
without a parachute. Between the
guilt, the fear, the sense of hopelessness,
and the 'knowledge' that
God must indeed hate me I decided I
did not have a religious vocation ...
"I went the usual way of bars,
drugs, and multiple lovers, until I
discovered, with the help of therapy,
that growth could come from pain,
and that my sexual orientation would
not go away by annihilating my
senses. I also learned that God loves
me and wants me to be the best
possible gay person I can be. Nine
years later I entered religious life ... I
therefore told the president of my
community that I was lesbian . With
much listening, understanding, and
continuous dialogue, we have
resolved, over the past five years,
many of the myths of individual
sexual orientation."
After 15 years and volumes ol
Communication, Bro. Paul says he and
readers · of the newsletter experience
themselves no longer alone. "No
longer are we simply accepting our
SEE CMI, Page 19 !12] Second Stone-Mar~b/-;-A:-pn~--1-, :-:1994~----------------~...:.._------------------~------'----
Love will
find a way
BY MARCUS STRINGER
Little did I know what
growth and opportunity
would await me one
Monday morning at work.
Going through the motions of logging
in and checking messages, I noticed
there was a prayer request from
someone on the . Christian "alias"
(electronic mail clearinghouse). Just a
few days earlier there was a prayer
request from a woman bemoaning a
progressive decision made by a
competing computer software company
in favor of same-sex spousal
benefits.
The first woman's pompous
righteousness angered me to the
point that I wanted to discontinue my
membership . However, as I read the
rest of the request, she asked for
suggestions on the "correct Christian
response we should take" if Gays
were to pull such a stunt in our
company. So I responded with what I
· .. thought would help her out of her
. · confusion.
' ' Howev~r, the tone of.the request I
was now reading seemed more open
to true guidance. The woman, Sue,
and her husband were in a dilemma,
' ._They believed in pro-life and were
impressed to walk in a local
f,)ndraiser for the fight against AIDS.
Sue was seeking assurance from
fellow CJrristians that tl,ey would 110!
·condemn them as "condoning homosexuality,"
She also was concerned
that \hey might be surrounded by
angry, militant people, and Wanted
their pro-life actions to be a witness to
both militant Gays and Christians
alike,
"Oh this is just a confused woman .
She's been used to having religious .
teachers think for her. Don't bother
with her." I want ed to shrug her off
and forget about it; yet at the sam e
time I wanted to d1eck her out - to see
how she really felt. What would she
do with a self proclaimed gay
Christian? I e-mailed Sue in return,
affirming the decision she and her
husband made - standing for pro-life.
A friend of mine had already gotten
me to make a donation in his name;
however, I wanted to leave Sue with
tangible evidence of my affirmation -
and "put my money wh e re my
mouth was." The next day Sue
replied that her step-brother is gay
and that some of her friends now
have AIDS and others have already
passed away . l n•alizt•d. that .tlw issm'
, wa.s · closer to home to her than I'd
have ever imagined. Quickly , I
made a date so we could meet.
What a great opportunity to share
the good news of the gospel with one
"bogged down" under the red tape of
legalism . What opportunities of joy,
peace, and freedom do we miss by
withdrawing, giving up on complete
kinship with ' others. Fortunately, I
hung around long enough to find that
the door was open . I could actually
touch this person's life.
My experience with Sue was very
peaceful, seeing that she was willing
to listen and acknowledge that she
did not have all of the answers. We
were free to love first, letting whatever
else happen later . Christ, if he
The next day Sue
replied that her step
brother is gay and
that some of her
friends now have
AIDS and others
have already passed
away. I realized that
the issue was closer
to home to her than
I'd have ever
imagined.
were still on earth today, would teach
love your enemies and pray for those
who persecute you (Matt 5:44). Bless
those who persecute you; bless and
do not curse (Rom. 12:14). A new
commandment I give you: Love one
another as I have loved you, so you
must love one another. By this all
men will know that you are my
discipl ,es, if you love one another
0ohn 'l:4-5).
Not every expe rieqce will be as the,
one I had with Sue. What do we do
with the outspok en oppressor , or the
mere dangerous destroyer who lurks
undercover? Can this sort of thing
make sense when your brother/
,enemy gloats over the fact that you
are not given the same human
protections as h e enjoys under the
law: to marry, ·10 serv e in the
military, to adopt children? ·
What about when your
sister/ enemy bears false witness
against you and other lesbian-gay
family by muddling the truth about
homosexuality . How can I love my
fellow Christian who will destroy the
minds and spirits of gay people
through "change ministries? " Since
God asks us not to take revenge into
our own hands (Rom. 12:19), isn't at
least some heavenly discipline in
order for these souls?
Where does righteous indignation
end and destructive revenge, anger
and hatred begin? Just because we
have resolved most conflicts between
our sexuality and spirituality does not
make us self-sufficient from the transforming
power of Christ on our
characters. That's right - standing as
gay Christians is not synonymous
with perfection, We are still in great
need of a Savior. As we ask Christ to
open our spiritual eyes, our conscience,
and heart, he will show us
the distance between his and our
own . The one who taught "love your
enemy" is the same one who had his
body unceremoniously "pinned" to a
cross - a masterfully created torture
machine. And if the story about this
one is supposed to be true, he didn't
call fire down upon his enemies, or
bash them in return for the bashing
he was receiving.
Does th is seem like an impossible
act to follow? It is. Disconrnicted from
the source of love (1 John 4:7), yea
even love itself (1 John 4:16), we have
no power to control hate or indiference.
So the next ti,;rui you are
persecuted for espousi n g sexual
responsibility and commitment, the
next time you stand for pro-life; or
when you're ridiculed for deciding to
believe in the Sabbath after years of
rejection - know this: Love can, must,
will find a way!
Reprinted from the Seventh-day Adventist
Kinship International Kinship
Connection.
A Symbol of Today's 11teality
and Tomorrow's Hi~pe
Wearing this red and pink ribbon pin 1itows you care
about those who art HIV+ or have Br.east Cancer.
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P. 0, BOX 32474 • LOUISVILLE, KY 40232
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MINISTRIES
A Spirit-Filled Christian Outreach To The
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Offering:
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Weekly Worship Services:
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•Contemporary Christian Praise &
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•Weekly Healing Services
•A Positive Community Atmosphere
of Faith and Love
Rev . Pamela White, Pastor
Call (505)260-2882
for other information.
Second Stone-March/April, 1994 '[a]
T. Cover Story T
I• I a I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ♦ I I I I I• I• I I I I I I I I I~ I I I I I.~ I I I I I I I• -~ I I I I I I I I I I
Dirty laundry: Showing the right how wrong they can be
Froin Page 1
they had the gall to waste taxpayer
money to bring the issue to. court.
They didn't want a '.'family" pass;
they wanted public endorsement of
homosexuality.
The former Mormon president
Spender Kimball, leading a Church
which has long championed families,
correctly pointed out the fickle nature
of the supposed "love" Gays and
Lesbians feel. 'Think for yourself
what would these persons do for you
should you suddenly fall victim to an
incurable disease. Suppose your
body shrivelled; suppose you could
no longer satisfy sexually; suppose ·
you could no longer be 'used.' How
long would the alleged friendship
and this distorted so-called 'love'
last?"
[n the notorious case of Sharon
Kowalski, severely injured and brain
damaged in a car accident in Minnesota,
her "lover," Karen Thompson,
petitioned for years to have the .legal
right to care for her "spouse ." The
gay and lesbian community tried to
pretend that her devotion was out of
love, but it is clear that the real
motive was to destroy Sharon's family,
to frivolously waste $200,000 it1·
legal fees to deny her parents the
right to make decisions about their
own daughter. ·
Gays across the nation are taking
care of their lovers dying from AlDS,
but is this a sign of love or is it a sign
instead of desperation? God is
naturally trying to eliminat .e Gays
,ince we as his "followers" are not
spiritually dedicated enough to do
:>ur part, and Gays, realizing their
sex partners are dying off, are throwing
all of their energy into preserving
the ou tie ts for their sin.
What more do we need to know?
[sn't it clear that the situation is
:ritical?
Perhaps what is clear is the way
.1omophobic zealots pretending to
follow God, but more concerned with
~enerating money for their coffers by
:reating a false enemy, can slant any
1ction they want and fit it to their
)Wn agenda. They take the more
,izarre and rebellious Gays and
Lesbians and set them up as the
,verage Gay or Lesbian to create fear'
ul images around which followers
:an rally. But I wonder if we-looked
Jbjectively at the issue, if we could
'ind any problems with the hetero- •
;exual community we hold as the
,tandard, and with their family
values.
In Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
34-year-oJd William Jerome Terry III
·aped and slashed a former girlfriend
Nith a razor, leaving her for dead in
l piece of rolled up carpet. Of course,
:hey_ weren't married, so this doesn't
}1] Second Stone-March/April, 1994
really show the heterosexual view
toward family values. ·
But 9nce heterosexuals get married,
sometimes the values do not seem to
change much . In Hammond, Louisiana,
Larry Huls, gaining the help of
his current female lover, Kathleen
Mapes, strangled and shot his exwife,
Anne Erdey after kidnapping
her from her workplace . Larry killed
her because he didn't want to pay
$5,900 in back child support which he
owed her to help care for their
6-year-old son, who had cerebral
palsy.
Joe Meling of Seattle poisoned and
killed two strangers in order to cover
the attempted murder of his wife. He
had wanted to get out of a failing
marriage, but since divorce is promoting
the break up of families, he
figured his plan was more respectable.
Besides, the death of his wife
would also bring him $700,000 in life
insurance benefits .
Despite the religious right's attempt
to make AIDS a gay issue, it has been
a fact from the start of the epidemic
that it is a primarily heterosexual
disease. It has been "gay" in the
United States for a dozen years, but
heterosexuals here are quickly catching
up with heterosexuals the world
over who through their promiscuity
and selfish disregard for others are
spreading this painful, deadly disease.
Some heterosexuals even
spread it quite deliberately, as the
French officials did to thousands of
hemophiliac children, while knowing
the blood they were using was
contaminated. Heterosexuals just care
more about money than they do
children.
Of course, some care more about
spite and revenge, as we've already
seen, and so with AIDS, we get many
cases such as that of Terry Boatwright
of Pensacola, Florida, who kidnapped
and raped an ex-girlfriend, but then
just to make sure she became infected
with HIV, he injected her with his
own contaminated blood as well.
Twenty-eight-year-old Alberto Gonzalez
in Portland, Oregon, was much
nicer, not raping his 17-year-old girlfriend,
but repeatedly having sex
with her without condoms while
knowing he was HIV positive. The
girl so far still tests negative, but two
former sex partners have tested
positive.
These cases should not be
surprising, though, when we understand
the lie that heterosexuals are
capable of deeply loving each other is
only a clever bit of propaganda
dreamt ur to futher the heterosexual
agenda o promoting their desire for a
multitude of sexual outlets for
themselves.
The U. S. Navy, caught with its
pants down in Las Vegas at the-
Tailhook convention, also ~pologized
for the sexual harassment of women.
There was the fondling and grabbing,
of course, but the sexual acts
also included men exposing themselves
in the hotel lobby and men
engaging publicly in oral sex with
women (a military crime even if
consensual). Further, the Navy
admits it had known of the sexual
harassment for years, but heterosexual
leaders, promoting the family
value of inferiority of women, failed
to do anything until forced by public
scandal.
Serb leaders in Bosnia who endorse
the rape of Muslim women, however,
are not committing the rapes as an act
of violence against women, forcing
·these victims to bear childr en .they do
not want . It is for the values of
Christianity that they commit these
rapes against non-believing women .
Christian heterosexuals, we must
remember , are particularly adept at
bizarre forms of rationalization . It
doesn't take much real thought to see
through their "justification," but
heterosexuals as a group are much
more concerned with furthering their
position of power than with honestly
advocating justice.
A great part of the justification
comes through the sanctifying image
of church authority, but most heterosexuals
only use the church as a cover
for their own evil desires.
But people whci truly care about
family values will see how dangerous
heterosexual religious leaders really
are. Rev. Virgil Carpenter in
Ontario, Oregon, was convicted of
sexually molesting a 9-year-old girl
over a year and a half. A Roman
Catholic priest, Robert Mayer, was
convicted in Chicago cf sexually
abusing a 13-year-old girl. Another
heterosexual Catholic priest, James
Porter, accused of molesting dozens of
children in Massachusetts, Minnesota,
and New Mexico, has been convicted
in the first of the cases brought
against him, molesting a 15-year-old
female babysitter .
It's not as if he was overly clever in
hiding his abuse that his molestation
was able to continue for so many
years. Court documents proved that
the Church had numerous reports of
his abuse. 13ut as we know, most
churches, which are run by heterosexuals,
are . not terribly concerned
with protecting children. They shout
loudly about removing the "gay
menace," but it is all a front so they
can ensure their-own sexual access to
children.
Naturally, it is not only for sex that
heterosexual religious people abuse
children. Sometimes, it Is for the
simple motive of greed. When the
Canadian government in 1955 offered
\o pay 75¢ a day for oq,hans and
$2.75 a day for mentally retarded
children, the spiritual leaders at the
Mount Providence orphanage in
Montreal decided to have a "change
of vocation," changing their institu~
tion officially from an orphanage to a
mental institution. What they didn't
bother to do was find a home for their
orphans or to seek out mentally
retarded children. They simply relabelled
the children already under
their care.
Institutional heterosexual abuse of
children goes even further. .Lee
Stokes of Covington, Louisiana, who
ran a counseling service, was booked
with molesting 15-year-old and 16-
year-old patients. In our school
systems, by far the majority of teachers
who molest children are heterosexual,
anywhere from 95 to 98
percent, depending on the reports.
Neither education nor the government,
nor heterosexual parents, have seen
fit to insist on a plan that will track
down these abusers. If a heterosexual
teacher is fired in one state for sexual
abuse, all he or she needs t0 do is
move to another state, be recertified
with no background check on the
abuse, and he or she is ready to prey
on more children.
And when children do report the
abuse, it is often ignored, even if the
abuse comes from outside the school.
When a 9-year-old girl in New York
wrote in an essay for class that her
1 father, who was dying of AIDS, had
raped her, school officials did
nothing, even destroying the essay.
Only .when the girl finally told her
grandmother was the abuse brought
to light. Our school boards, which
are being infiltrated by members of
the religious right, put on a superficial
show of concern for children by
claiming the need to get rid of gay
teachers, but it is clear that the
concern is ncit .really for the sexual
well-being of children at all but is
only for the power to control others'
lives, which is also - what rape and
molestation are all about ·
In Jacksonville, Florida, a 9-year-old
girl was diagnosed in 1992 with
AIDS. State social workers were
aware of her sexual abuse as early as
1988, because she had come in at
various times with other sexually
transmitted diseases, but they failed
to take any action to protect her.
Their reason was pure enough. They
didn't want to break up the family.
This case is similar with the
institutional neglect of children by the
Boy Scouts of America. Claiming the
need to protect children's values, they
reject gay scout leaders with no
history of sexual abuse yet they allow
heterosexuals who do abuse children
to join. Butthere is another kind of
SEE COVER STORY, Next Page
COVER STORY
From Page 14
abuse involved here, too. The Boy
Scouts also reject gay scouts themselves.
While pretending to encourage
boys to .become "morally
straight," they expel gay children,
who in their own words are in great
need of moral direction . If they were
truly concerned about the children,
would they so actively refuse to help?
Institutional heterosexual abuse and
neglect is so dominant in heterosexual
culture that it cannot help but seep
down to the very last refuge, the
heterosexual family unit. We've
already had just a taste of the abuse
among heterosexual couples, but the
abuse of children is even more
predominant.
In Salt Lake City, Michael Kojima
was arrested for failing to pay
$100,000 in child support to his
former wife . The amount seems high
· until we realize that it had been
increasing slowly over eight years, as
he refused to pay $350 a month for
each of two daughters, aged 4 and 5
at the time of the divorce. The
neglect is perhaps more obvious
when we realize that Michael
managed to donate $500,000 at a
Republican fundraiser, at an event
where "family values" has become
the latest buzz word, shortly before
his arrest. .
Regina Simpson of Baton Rouge was
found guilty of abandoning her_ two
children, aged 1 and 2, m a filthy
apartment while she went out
drinking . One of the children was
found eating roaches . The apartment
had no running water, and the floor
was covered with feces and urine.
The children were taken into protective
custody for a while but were
then returned to the mother, who has
shown her dedication to the family by
giving birth to a third child.
Extended family members receive
the abuse, too. A 16-year-old Columbus,
Mississippi, teenager was caught
after raping his 6-year-old niece.
Because of easy access, most heterosexuals
sexually abuse direct family
members. A 46-year-old Harahan,
Louisiana, man was ·convicted of
raping his 7-year-old daughter. The
father had a friend who didn't have
as e/ilsy access to children, so he Jet his
friend take part in the ·rape, too.
But · heterosexual abuse,
unfortunately, does not end with
neglect or molestation. Tan:imie
Guthie of Baton Rouge was convicted
of allowing her 15-month-old daughter
to drown while she paid a
16-year-old boy $50 and had sex with
him.
In Kentucky, 26-year -old Mary
Fletcher confessed that she murdered
her 3-year-old daughter by poisoning
and tried to poison her 4-year-old son
as well, in order to collect $5,000 in
burial insurance and "try to end
marital strife" with her husband. The
girl had also been sexually abused.
Mark James Bender of Seattle
hacked his wife and two children,
llll=MY;l•Ji·@•i¢1•t·M•JMl·S~•,11WK'l·Sl111-14
aged 8 and 15, to death with an axe
and stored their bodies in a rented
locker for 12 years. But his behavior
is completely justifiable when we
realize his wife was planning to take ·
the kids and leave him. Mark
couldn't allow the sin of divorce to
destroy America's moral system.
In non Christian areas, such as
India, heterosexuality leads to the
murder of over 20,000 wives a year,
who are usually burned to death in
"kitchen accidents," and to the
aborting of millions of female fetuses .
In China, heterosexual parents commonly
kill female babies. In
America, we're more civilized, but
even here, when Christian fundamentalism
is added to the mixture of
heterosexual values, we cannot help
but end up with men such as Jim ·
Jones and David Koresh, who sexually
molest children and intimidate
and kill adults in the name of God.
But because these sick heterosexuals
need to somehcw justify their actions
to themselves, they find a scapegoat
on which to project their guilt. Gays
and Lesbians are the current choice .
When Lynn Johnson, acclaimed
writer of the comic strip, "For Better
or For Worse," which is about
promoting true family values, dared
to include a segment about a teenage
friend of the family being kicked out
of his house by his parents for being
gay, right wing fanatics across the
nation leaped to censor the panels
from their newspapers. Censorship,
it appears, is a family value .
· Accepting a gay child, even though
experiencing initial hostile feelings, is
anti-family. Wishing a gay son
would commit suicide is also the
embodiment of family values.
If heterosexuals are offended by
their protrayal here, we neecl_ to
remember that all of these accounts
are on public record, and any major
newspaper any day of the week will
show more and more of the same .
Arn I picking out just the most public,
most negative images? Perhaps. But
isn 't that what Falwell, Dobson,
· Robertson and Helms do in showing
video clips from gay rights parades?
"Oh, my God! Those people are
wearing leather and chains on that
float! Those men are wearing
dresses! And those men are imitating
sexual acts! Oh, my God!" Most of
these people are deliberately trying
to shock middle America. It is all an
act for the camera . It may b e inappropriate,
perhaps disgusting, even
sinful, but it in no way compares to
even one of the heterosexual atrocities
mentioned here, which occur continually.
But fear-mongering generates
money, and that is apparently the
important point. If some heterosexuals
claim, ''But we don't approve
of any of the actions in this article,"
they need to realize that Gays and
Lesbians don't either. . Can any
Christian honestly claim that finding
(or inventing) sordid stories and then
generalizing them isn't the exact tactic
of ministers who preach hate? Sordid
Gays do exist, but they no more
represent all of homosexuality than
these accounts represent all of
heterosexuality .
While heterosexuals may not as a
group really be as bad as portrayed
here, even the "model" families have
their problems, not the least of which
is homosexuality. Ask Phyllis
Schlafly, whose son in gay, or
General Colin Powell, whose daughter
is lesbian . There are very few
Cleaver families in America, or
Nelsons, or Bradys, or Huxtables.
Even aspiring to be like them may
not be a possibility.
If we are honestly seeking to
promote families, we will simply
have to accept that families come in a
variety of types, and that this is not
necessarily bad.
Throughout history, what has been
regarded as "the fami_ly" has changed
drastically, even in our Jud~oChristian
tradition. Menstruating
~omen had to be isolated, foreskins
had to be cut, wives could not speak
in church, men had to marry their
sisters-in-law if their brothers died.
Divorce was allowed, or wasn't
allowed depending on the era. And
let:s not forget the BibHcal and even
more recent times when concubines
were acceptable, and polygamy. The
Catholic Church at one time accepted
abortion, then condemned it, then
accepted it, and then condemned it
again . Throughout Christian Europe,
child abandonment was deemed
perfectly acceptable at various times.
Not every family variety is wonderful,
but with Christianity as
variable as it is (with hundreds of
varieties at the present), just because
a preacher condemns one kind of
family doesn't necessarily make 1t
bad, especially when there 1s no
abuse taking place. What God 1s
concerned about is that we treat each
other with love and respect.
"We love the sinner but hate the
sin" is a superficial excuse to justify
oppression, and God is not the only
one who knows it. Any thinking,
feeling person knows that when
someone takes images and stories out
of context in order to create a biased,
negative portrait of someone, this is
not an act of love but of dedicated
hatred, often performed to deny one's
own failings .
Jesus never said a word against
homosexuality, but he did say not to
judge others. And he did say we
should love one another without
condemning .
For heterosexuals convinced that
Gays and Lesbians are sinners, I
suppose this means they must not ask
their children to commit suicide, they
must not disinherit them or refuse to
let them fully take part in family
holidays. It means that heterosexuals
need to accept their gay and lesbian
children, their gay and lesbian
siblings and parents and cousins, and
love them. Loving one's family
members can, with a little stretch of .
faith, be. considered as ·promoting
family values, if heterosexuals try
hard enough.
For Lesbians and Gays, loving
sinners means they have to be
willing to love the fundamentalists
who are condemning them daily, a
harder task, to be sure, but then
Christ did say, "Blessed are they
which are persecuted for righteousness'
sake, for theirs is the kingdom
of heaven.'' By pro .mating true love,
acceptance, and family values, Gays
and Lesbians are condemned by the
Christians who don't really know
Christ. But because love and truth
will prevail, it is the hypocritical
hetero.sexual sinners who are the ones
really to be pitied, and Gays and
Lesbians, they will find, will have
enough love to offer even to them.
Perhaps this can best be
exemplified by a woman who,
because of her religion, di<;! believe
homosexuality was wrong, but who
also believed strongly in family love.
Dorothy Hajdys' son, Allen Schindler,
was murdered by gay bashers,
beaten so -badly she could only
identify his body by a tattoo on his
arm. She attended the trial for one of
his confessed killers. When the sailor
was sentenced to life in prison, she
was glad, telling both the murderer
and his mother she didn't want him
put to death because she didn't want
any other mother to go through what
she was going through. "At least she
call tell you that she loves you and
can visit you," Dorothy told the
murderer .
This is the meaning of family
values, love, not religious propagan°
da. We can only hope that the
majority of heterosexuals haven't
been led so far astray that they can no
longer recognize the truth, that they
will desist from picking the worst or
strangest elements of the gay
community and generalizing them to
all Gays and Lesbians, and that they
will learn that not'only physically are
we members . of their family, but
spiritually we are, too, and decent
families don't gossip and slander their
relatives . We need to stop promoting
hate and division and instead promote
the highest family values of all,
love, understanding, and unity.
"Blessed are the peacemakers," said
Christ.
''Blessed are the merciful," he said.
"Blessed are the meek ."
Is this the way Christians are
behaving toward their gay brothers
and sisters? It is in the same chapter
where Christ warns us not to judge
one ··another that he warns against
following false leaders and false
prophets. Perhaps those who so
strongly persecute Lesbians and Gays
should study the scriptures more
· carefully, should fast and pray until
they are sure they are following
God's will and not the will of some
hate-filled, egocentric man, the "wolf
in sheep 's clothing," out to infiltrate
and destroy the flock of God's
children . Only by embodying the
family value of love, not hate, can we .
truly say we are serving and
following our God.
Second Stone-March/April, 1994 [I[
Priest's troubles end in suicide ·
From Page 1
neck out" on social justice issues. He
had a tenure of more than seven
years in the Diocese of Central
J?ennsylvania, during which time his
Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Charlie McNutt,
Jr., described their relationship as
positive, and Mc'Carriar as a person
who accompiished much for his
congregation and the diocese. Members
of his congregation and friends
described McCarriar as "eccentric"
and "blustery" but agree that he had
many good points and accomplished
much in his ministry. Yet, something
drove him to despair so great that he
could no longer face life.
In the spring of 1993, Fr. McCarriar
began to show signs of the stress
which would lead to tragedy. In May
he circulated a document pertaining
to corporal punishment of adolescent
males by their fathers. His exact
intent is unclear, but -in at least one
case he appeared to recommend actions
which our current society would
consider abusive and psychologically
dangerous . Unsu re of the import of
his actions, congregation members
first approached McCarriar with their
concerns and later approached Bishop
McNutt when they~ felt unsatisfied
with McCarriar's response. The Bishop
said that he did not feel the
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incident itself was serious, But he
worried that · McCarriar, when
approached, seemed unable to understand
the concerns of his congregation
and their reasons for objecting to his
actions.
The tensions in Coudersport
continued. After more complaints
from the wardens and vestry of Christ
Church, the Bishop called a meeting
with McCarriar, including two
wardens, a mental health worker
from Coudersport and a counselor
from the diocese. Recommendations
from that meeting involved getting
counseling and working for a time
with the Rev. Canon Dr. Andrew
France, President of the Diocesan
Standing Committee, in a mentor
relationship. At about this time,
friends started noticing changes in Fr.
McCarriar's behavior and began to
communicate their concern about his
mental state . Several urged him to
get counseling. Others attempted to
get him to talk to them, to be open
about what was causing him so much
turmoil. None were successful.
McCarriar also refused to take the
Bishop's recommendation of counseling,
although he did start meeting
regularly with Canon France.
At one point in early July, Fr.
McCarriar was taken to a state
hospital by concerned friends for
involunta~y commitment. They be- -
lieved he might be a danger to
himself and possibly to. others. The
psychologist at the hospital did not
find sufficient grounds for involuntary
commitment, but did communicate
to Bishop McNutt that McCarriar
felt he was under tremendous
pressure. Anything which could be
done to relieve that pressure would
be helpful. Because he seemed
deeply troubled by the recommendation
for counseling, the Bishop told
McCarriar that he would not require
that if he continued meeting with
Canon France and could show
improvement in the situation at
Coudersport. The Bishop believed
this would reduce the pressure and
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allow McCarriar the space to work out
his problems . . But it was not to be.
Shortly after this, McCarriar wrote to
"selected friends" the following about
his situation:
. " ... it has caused me times of anger,
rage, or heartbroken despair, as I feel
that I was an undeserving victim of
betrayal, treachery, and sabotage, by
a few people who are not supportive
of my ministry or pastoral judgment.
These reactions are only normal and
temporary, and are entirely due to
the unnatural stress perpetrated upon
me by Bishop McNutt. If he would
cease and desist, all would be well, I
promise you, if you keep faith with
me."
"He was terribly
injured, but
wouldn't let
anybody in.
Even in good
times, there was
never any
connection."
After this, t.he Bishop saw the
situation worsen and found himself
compelled to take action to resolve the
conflict in McCarriar's congregations.
The Rev. Canon John McDowell went
to Coudersport to meet with the
vestries and to hand deliver a letter to
' Fr. McCarriar from the Bishop, again
requiring that he get counseling and
that he continue to meet with Canon
France as a mentor.
Bishop McNutt was to be in
Coudersport on Sunday, September
19th, for his annual visitation. He
was scheduled to meet with the
vestry after the morning service. It
seems likely that McCarriar, who had
MURDER,
From Page 9
about the apparent concerted gaybashing
in our community.
"We regard it as monstrous that
people should be murdered because
they're the wrong religion in Ireland,
or the wrong tribe in Africa, or the
wrong race somewhere else. So here
in Montreal, it is equally monstrous
that anyone, be it a beloved colleague
Leonardo's Children, Inc. and a friend, or even a total stranger,
26 Newport Bridge Rd. should be done to death, possibly
Call( 504)899-440 F1AX( 504)891-7555 Warwick, NY 10990 ■ because of his or _her actual or alleged
L._$;_1_89_.ooy_,_e,p_ea~_rr6 o__bri lli_,n$g3,___1s. soo__ef a_c_h._.■~,., .___ ___. 9_.1_,4._.e9c8)(_6_-6__8_88 ____ = sexual orientation."
•1 6I Second Stone•Marcb/April, 1994
l!.!!J
been encouraged by Canon France in
their sessions to consider relocating
and starting over, believed that he
would be removed from his position
at this time . In any case, Fr.
McCarriar did not show up at either
the morning service or the meeting
thereafter. In fact, he had gone to
Williamsport the previous evening
and on Sunday morning jumped to
his death.
Bishop McNutt was with the
congregation when they were told of
their Vicar's death. Canon France
was with them the following two
Sundays both to preach and to be
available for the people in whatever
way he could to promote healing. The
Bishop is appointing a new vicar, to
save the missions from conducting a
search during their grief and healing
process. In the interim the pulpit has
been filled on Sundays by two priests
from the diocese. Healing seems to
be coming to the congregations at
last.
A good friend of his said, "Herb
could have been helped. No one
behaved inappropriately, but it just
didn 't happen." One theme which
repeated continuously was McCarriar's
fear of psychiatrists, psychologists
and all forms of counse]ing.
Against all assurances, he believed
his counselors were spies for the
Bishop, reporting all they .heard in
supposed confidence. A friend also
said "there was much denial in Herb.
He was terribly injurel:!, but wouldn't
let anybody in, Even in . good .-titnes,
there was never any connectiori:" It
seems Fr. McCarriar was adept at
helping others, but simply could . not
ask for or receive help himself. It
may never be known what fears kept
him shut off from all those whose true
desire was to help and heal. He
created a place which was a true
anomaly; a rural congregation cl1aracterized
by inclusiveness, welcoming
to Gays and Lesbians, committed to
justice. McCarriar often claimed the
Coudersport congregation had the
first openly gay couple in the nation
to stand as godparents at a baptism.
Yet, he who accomplished so much
and helped so many was ultimately
neither able to help himself nor to
receive from others the care which he
so freely gave. - Ann Carlson
The Rt. Rev. Andrew Hutchinson,
Bishop of Montreal, said, ''This is a
threat to the well-being of our
community and a terror to a large
segment of the population in partiClllar,
namely, the gay community.
Regardless of what may have been
Father Eling's sexual orientation, he
was a good and caring man. His
whole life was lived out in profound
commitment to challenging the bigotry
of a violent world."
-Kim Byham
In Print . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ . ~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '
Andrew, You Died Too Soon
By Re\i. Richard B. Gilbert
Contributing Writer
The Rev. Corinne Chilstrom, author.
Minneapolis: Augsburg Press, 1993.
I first met Corinne Chilstrom five
years ago when I brought her to
Bur.lington, Iowa, to participate in
our annual conference on grief.
As a light approach to a heavy
subject, I introduced her as "the first
lady of the EL(;A." The crowd chuckled
with delight. Rev. Chilstrom is
the wife of Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America Bishop Herbert
Chilstrom.
'
She is also one of a very few "first
ladies" of grief counseling, for she
grabbed hold of the 250 people there
as they have never been grabbed
before, wrung us through, yet gently
sootned us, ·shoved us · forcefully
beyond previous understanding of
grief, yet welcomed us into her home
and story in a way that made us feel
like family. She introduced .,us to
Andrew, her adopted ' soi:i, who committed
suicide as a young adult.
Corinne's magnetic style, her
charm, her might, her pastoral pres~
In Print, briefly ...
Womeant W orship:
Interpretatioonfs N orth
AmericaDn iversity
This book is a collection of essays
which probe the meaning and the
manys hapeso f contemporarfye minist
worship. Suggestionasr e offered
for revitalizing traditional liturgical
expressionsin relation t.o women's
experiences. Authors are Majorie
Procter-Smiathn dJ anetR . Walton
-FromW estminster/JoKhnno xP ress
OutingS: hatterintgh e
Conspiracoyf Silence
Thisi s the mostc ompletbeo okt o date
on outing. Authors Warren Johansson
and William Percy analyze the
subjectf rom the perspectiveo f the
shifting religious attitudes toward
homosexuaelx pressio.n.
-FromH affingtonP arkP ress
Journeyo f theS oul
Author Ruth H. Lang has written this
little booklet'1 o inspiret he readert o
take hope and reach out for a measure
of life which has not as yet been
realized."
-FromW omaPnr ints1, 18W esSt parks
St.,G alenKa S6 6739
ence have carried over into this book,
a book that must be read · by all
bereaved families and those dealing
with grief due to a suicide. It is also a
book that will be a gift to caregivers
and those in need of caregiving, as
happened that day in Burlington,
when the 20 (out of 250) who I personally
invited because they shared a
similar story, were shouting through
their posture, their gestures, their
reactions, "Right on, sister... you
understand!"
Read how, yes, a
pastor could lash
out at God in
helpless rage, yet
feel closer to him at
the same time.
This is not another ''how-to" book
on grief. There are too many of those
already. I know. I have read them.
Like the great teacher and storyteller
Darcie Sims,. Corrine is doing this as
it is said on the streets, about matters
related to grief, "She's saying, What it
is!"
Andrew, You Died Too Soon is a
collection of short vignettes. Even the
three teaching sections (adoption,
suicide, anger, plus a helpful look at
the Psalms on our relationship with
God in all of this), come across as
story, and with a grand permission to
be ourselves and to claim our own
story.
Read the book straight through,
skip around, read sections at a time ...
but read it! Read about how she
doesn't buy pears anymore, because
they were Artdrew's favorite fruit.
Some things are never the same
again. Read how they strung lights
in the hallway because they needed
something of the holiday. Read how,
yes, a pastor, could lash out at God in
helpless rage, yet feel clos,erto him at
the same time. Read about the
importance of ritual (familial and
religious), when the rituals may be
the only pathway you 'have to pull
people together.
The section on adoption is
especially important, for not enough
has been written about the "absence ·
_ of connectedness," which is what
adoption may feel like. It is an
important subject that needs more
discussion. Adoption may be the best
choice in a difficult situation, but it
carries its weight in scars.
The book's purpose is to help you to
affirm your grief, find your pathway
to healing, and to meet the loving
God (in the theology of the cross) who
is with us in our suffedng, understands
our suffering, and is the one
expression of "sensibility" (i.e., covenant)
in those moments and chapters
when there i.s only pain. 1
As a grief counselor and teacher, as
well as chaplain, it is both my prayer
and my commitment to get Andrew,
You Died Too Soon into the hands of
bereaved parents and families, pastors,
church members, seminarians,
counselors, people who want to care,
and those many countless folks who
mean well, but often say and do the
things that hurt. The_bereaved have
enough pairt on their own. For every
person who reads this book there are
countless folks who will be touched,
understood more empathetically,
cared for along the way, drawn closer
to a caring God who might otherwise
seem to have abandoned them
(another death). Then one might
hope that the church might begin to
carry out in her ministries, her
programs and her liturgies what Jesus
has not only promised in himself, but
demanded of us as that task which
sets us apart from others. "Blessed
are those who mourn, for they shall
be comforted."
Thank you, Corinne, for sharing
your pain, your story, your son.
Thank you Andrew, for helping me
with my own adoption issues.
Through the author and the son, I
have gained two friends and .also a
renewed strength to seek the hope I
need on my own grief journey.
The goal was peacemaking
between evangelicals and
liberals: But then there
was· a muttlet: .. and a gay
Quaker i:tctivist is the
prime suspect.
"I never suspected a Quaker mystery
could be such a page turner. Great
fun."
-Mark Hulbert, Publisher
Hulbert Financial Digest
" ... an intoxicating witches' brew of
sexual politics and unFriendly
intrigue ... Prophetic and scary!"
-Alan Pell Crawford, author
Thunder On the Right
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P.O.B OX8 340N, EWO RLEANSL,A 70182
SecondS tone-March/April1, 99.4[ jzj
Calendar ......... . ~ ........................................... .
Presbyterian Church
Coming Out Day
MARCH 6, "For All The Saints" is the
theme of this day, set aside for coming
out in/to/for/with the Presbyterian
Church as a lesbian, gay, or
bisexual Christian or. as one who
supports the full membership of all
persons regardless of sexual orientation.
For information contact Rev.
Lindsay Louise Biddle, 3538 22nd
Ave. So., Minneapolis, MN 55407,
(612)724-5429.
Black Church
National Day of Prayer
MARCH 6, The Second Annual Black
Church National Day of Prayer for
the Healing of AIDS, coordinated by
The Balm In Gilead, Inc. This
campaign for a spiritual commitment
to fight AIDS calls on the over 500,000
black churches in the United States to
set aside this day of prayer. For
information call (212)281-4887.
PLGC Midwinter
Midwest Conference
MARCH 11-13, Presbyterians for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns is planning its
midwinter conference and retreat in
the Des Moines area. For information
contact Eastern Iowa PLGC, P.O. Box
3202, Iowa City, IA 52244.
American Society on
Aging ,Conference
MARCH 18-22, Special educational
events, including "Gay and Lesbian
Aging Issues" will punctuate the
ASA's 40t_h Aimual Meeting at the
San Francisco Hilton Hotel. Sessions
· will include topics on AIDS and
elders and overcoming barriers to
health and social services for Gays
and Lesbians. ASA's lfask Force on
Lesbian and Gay Aging Is~ues will
present three days of programming
designed to help service providers
understand the special concerns of
gay and lesbian elders. For
information call 1-800-537-9728 or
TT /TrY /TDD 1-800-735-2929 or FAX
(415)974-0300.
Conference of Lesbian,
Gaymale, Bisexual
and Transgender
Seminarians
APRIL 22-24, ''Finding Our Voices" is
the theme fpr this fourth annual
conference to be held at United
Theological Seminary of the Twin
Cities, New Brighton; Minn. Dr.
Christine M; Smith, UTS professor
and author of Weaving the Serman:
Preaching in a Feminist Perspective and
Preaching as Weeping, Canfessian, and
Resistance: Radical Respanses to Radical
Evil, is the keynote speaker. The
conference is a lime of prayer, play,
and the construction of grassrcots gay,
theology . For information write to
r-· -- . . . L18;, SecondStone-M~ch/Aprii, 1994
L/G/B/T Caucus , United Theological
Seminary, 3000 5th St. NW, New
Brighton, MN 55112
LGCM
Annual Conference
APRIL 15-17, London's Lesbian and
Gay Christian Movement sponsors its
annual conference. St. Alban's
Centre, Baldwin's Gardens, London,
is the setting. Keynote speaker is
Prof. William Countryman, professor
of New Testament, The Church
Divinity School of the Pacific and
author of Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual
Ethics in the New Testament and Their
Implications for Today. For information
contact LGCM, Oxford House,
Derbyshire St., London, UK E2 6HG .
More Light Churches
Conference
MAY 7-8, This gathering of members
of Presbyterian congregations who
welcome and affirm gay and lesbian
members has met annually since 1985
for worship, fellowship, education,
sharing of resources and models of
ministry, and planning for evangelism
and outreach. St. Luke Presbyterian
Church, Minneapolis-St. Paul,
Minn., is the host. The theme of the
conference is "From Dialogue to
Ministry: A Positive and Practical
Approach to This Historical Moment."
For information , call St. Luke Presbyterian
Church, (612)474-7378 or Dick
Hasbany, (503)757-8243.
CMI Retreats
MAY 20-22, Communication
Ministry, Inc., a organization of
Catholic lesbian nuns and gay
brothers and priests sponsors the
Gentle Warrior Retreat (men only).
For information write to Steven
Botkin, Men's Resource Center, 30
Boltwood Walk, Amherst, MA 01002.
JUNE 20-24, Emmaus House, Perth
Amboy, N.J., is the setting for this
retreat held in conjunction with the
celebrations of Stonewall 25 in New
York City. JUNE 27-JULY 1,CMI
hosts a retreat at the Marianist Center
in Cupertino, Calif. For information
write to Communication Ministry,
P.O. Box 60125, Chicago, IL
60660-0125.
Spiritfest '94 .
MAY 27-30, This annual gathering of
gay and lesbian Pentecostals features
worship, music, prayer and ·workshops
. The <Zoriference will be held in
Arkansas . . For information contact
Linda Harris, (817)520-7919.
Mercy of God
Community Retreat
JUNE 3-5, The Mercy of God
Community sponsors its Third
Annual Religious Life Weekend and
Retreat at the LaSalette Shrine and
Retreat Center in Attleboro, Mass.
The gathering offers an opportunity
to explore religious vocation and
enrich one's prayer life . For information
contact Br. Ron Francis
Creapeau-Cross, MGC, Mercy of God
Community, P.O. Box 41055,
Providence, RI 02940-1055.
Ecumenical Institute of
Sacred Choral Music
, JUNE 19-21, The United Church
Coalition for Lesbian and Gay
Concerns sponsors an ecumenical
choir camp for gay, lesbian and
bisexual Christians. The camp will
proceed the UCCL/GC 14th Annual
National Gathering on the Rutgers
campus in Newark, N.J. and will
culminate with a major concert on
June 23rd at a nationally known
church. The event will unite the
voices of 200 gay, lesbian, and
bisexual Christians as part of Gay
Pride Week m New York City. For
information contact Rev. Christine
· Leslie, (908)598-0862, 125 Summit
Ave., #4, Summit, NJ 07901.
Eighth Annual
Golden Threads
JUNE 24-26, Lesbian women from all
over the United States, and some
from other countries, will gather at
the .Provincetown Itm in Provincetown,
Mass., to celebrate what they
are and their age, whatever it is.
Entertainment will be provided by
Heather Bishop. Golden Threads is a
worldwide social network of lesbian
women over 50, and women who are
interested in older women. For
reservation information write to
Christine Burton, Golden Threads,
P.O. Box 60475, Northampton, MA
01060-0475.
American Baptists
Concerned National
Retreat
JUNE 27-30, Madison A venue Baptist
Church in New York City will host
this retreat, themed "A Celebration of
Stonewall and Our Wholeness" in
commemoration of the 25th anniversary
of Stonewall. Attendees will
have the opportunity of participating
in the many activities of New York's
Gay Pride Week. Retreat leader is
Dr. William R. Stayton. For information
contact American Baptists Concerned,
872 Erie St., Oak1and, CA
94610, (510)465-8652.
ConnECtion '94
JULY 1-4, Evangelicals Concerned
Western Region sponsors its annual
gathering to be held this year at
Chapman College in Orange County,
Calif. For information write to
ECWR, P.O. Box 4750, Denver, CO
80204.
Lutherans Concerned
National Gathering
JULY 14-17, The National Assembly
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
of Lutherans Concerned/North
America will be held on the campus
of the Uruvers1ty of North Carolina in
Charlotte. For information contact
LCNA, P.O. Box 10461, Chicago IL
60610-0461. '
National Association
of Black and White
Men Together
JULY 16-24, Over 200 people are
expected to attend this organization's
14th Annual Convention to be held at
the Sheraton National Hotel in
Arlington, Va. The theme ''Breaking
the Chains of ISMS" will be addressed
via workshops, guest speakers, and
cultural/ social events. NABWMT was
formed in 1980 as a "gay, multi-racial,
multi-cultural organization committed
to fostering supportive environments
· wherein racial and cultural barriers
can be overcome and the goal of
human equality realized." For information
contact NABWMT, 1747 •
. Connecticut Ave. N.W ., 3rd Floor,
Washington, DC 20009-1108,
(202)462-3599, (800)NA4-BWMT.
1994 GLAD Event
AUGUST 12-15, The Gay, Lesbian
and Affirming Disciples Alliance will
me':t at Mercy Center, Burlingame,
Cal!f.-, for its annual gathering.
Faahtators are Cynthia WintonHenry
and Phil Porter. For information
on this Christian Church
(Disciples of Christ) event contact
GLAD, P.O. Box 19223, Indianapolis,
IN 46219-0223, (206)324-6231. .
Conference for
Catholic parents of
Gays, Lesbians .
SEPTEMBER 30-0CTOBER 2,
'Turning the Key," the first national
retreat for Catholic parents of gay and
lesbian children which will support
parents in their key roles of promoting
understanding and empathy in
the church, will be held at the
LaSalette Center for Christian Living
m Attleboro, Mass. Facilitators will
be Sr. Jeannine Gramick, SSND, and
Fr. Robert Nugent. The weekend will
involve story-telling, presentations,
film, discussions, communal prayer,
qmet hme, worship and . socializing.
For information contact Fr. Robert
Nugent, 637 Dover St., Baltimore,
MD 21230, (301)864-8954.
LGCM Retreat
N0':13MBER 11-12, England's
Lesbian and Gay Christian
Movement sponsors a retreat led by
Helen Loder, SSM and Rev. Malcolm
Johnson. This is a unique weekend
opportunity of meditative reflection in
an affirming c?mmunity, during
which there will be talks, discussions
some silence and lots of relaxation. '
The Royal Foundation of St.
Katherine in London is the setting.
For information contact LGCM,
Oxford House, Derbyshire St.,
London, E2 6HG, UK.
Noteworthy T . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
UFMCC leader celebrates
10th anniversary
t.MR. RA VI VERMA celebrated his
10th year as Direct or of Adminstration
at the UFMCC church headquarters
in 1993. Rev. Troy Perry
praised Verma for his "professionalism,
creativity, intelligence and
devotion."
American Baptists Concerned
adds chapters
t.THE GROUNDWORK was laid for
thr ee new American Baptists Concerned
chapters at the regional retreat
of ABConcerned/New England.
Retreat participants decided that the
New England chapter would be
diyided into three groups: ABConcerned/
Massachusetts, ABConcerned/
Connecticut and ABConcerned/Rhode
Island. For information about the
Connecticut group call (203)267-2456;
Massachusetts cafl (617)625-3121. For
· information about the national organization
for gay and lesbian Baptists
contact American Baptists Concern ed,
872 prie St., Oakland, CA 94610,
(510)465-8652.
MCC Nashville in the
news, growing .
t.AS A RESULT of interviews with
new pastor · Rev: 'Dr: ·Buddy Truluck
in a Nashville daily newspaper and
HOUSING,
From Page 7
need for time and spa ce to continue
dialogue," he said. Regarding the
City of New York, Bishop Anderson
reiterated his conviction that the
seminary not concede to outside
pressure, but continue to work within
the structures and teachings of the
Church. In suggesting a future
policy, he said he supported an
approach involving shared responsibility
between the seminary and
diocesan bishops regarding housing
at GTS and .that the church's bishops
nee!=! to be more explicit about their
CMI,
From Page 12
homosexuality, an immense achievement
itself, but we · are hearing ourselves
called ii:i-our gay and lesbian
identities," he says . "We are members
of Christ's Body, and this is our
salvation. As gay and lesbian people
we have special gifts and . a purpose
in the Church and world. In this is
.our sanctification. How wonderful,
then, that God could make a people
out of those who were 'no-people."'
The Board 0f Directors of CMI, like
their subscribers, represents a · spectrum
of religious communities of
on three local radio stations, MCC
Nashville reports membership more
than doubling. The Board of Direcs
tors has increased the pastor's position
from part time to enough to meet the
UFMCC requirement for full time .
pastor and open the way for the
church to apply to regain its UFMCC
charter. In the spring, the church is
planning to move to a larger location
and greatly expand the opportunities
for church groups and community
meetings. For information on MCC/
Nashville, call (615)251-9057.
Raleigh church buys
new building
t.ST. JOHN'S MCC, Raleigh, North
Carolina, has closed on the purchase
of a $425,000 building, reports Rev.
Wayne Lindsay, pastor. The building
has a sanctuary that seats 228.
The church reported an $18,000
offering on Sunday, Dec. 5.
Small church realizes big dream
t.OPEN DOOR MCC, a UFMCC commissioned
church with 63 members in
Boyds, Maryland, recently achieved
something few churches of its size
have ever done. Open Door built its
own $285,000 church building from
the ground up. "We are proud and
we hope other churches will say,
expectations for the students from
their individual dioceses.
At its convention last fall, just after
the GTS Trustees met, the Diocese of
New York called for the Episcopal
Church to end unequal treatment of
its employees. A direct outgrowth of
the GTS controversy, the resolution
was introduced by St. Clement's
Church, Manhattan, and was overwhelmingly
approved. The resolution
calls for its introduction at
General Convention later this year.
- Bruce Parker and Episcopal News
Service
women and men and diocesan clergy.
The editors of Communication newsletter
and CMl Board of Directors are all
volunteers. The funding for the ministry
comes from newsletter subscriptions,
retreat fees and the contributions
of friends of the CMI network.
Subscriptions to CMl newsletter are
$25.00 per year in the U.S., $30.00
per year in Canada and Mexico,
$35.00 elsewhere. The mailing list is
confidential and -the newsletter
arrives in a sealed envelope. For
information write to Communication
Ministry, Inc ., P .O. Box . 60125,
Chicago, IL 60660-0125.
'Hey,.if that little church can do it, we
can, too!"' said Rev. Ke·n Ehrke,
pastor. While most new MCC buildings
are constructed in urban areas,
Open Door MCC is unique because
the new church was built in a rural
area. -Rev. Kittredge Cherry
Rural Gays, Lesbians
connect on computer
HHE RURAL ALLIANCE Network
has gone on line with interactive services
for Gays and Lesbians living in
rural. and suburban areas of the
country. The network plans to provide
information and entertainment
and aims to "put an end to the
dominant urban gay /lesbian/bisexual
stereotype." Services are now
available 24 hours a day by phoning
(805)287-0010 with your computer
modem.
United In Spirit takes
a higher profile
llUNITED IN SPIRIT, a San Franciscobased
coalition of gay- and lesbianpositive
religious organizations, has
recently increased its visibility in the
community. The group was formed
in response to .a meeting called by
Rev . Lou Sheldon of the Traditional
Values Coalition held at Hamilton
Square Baptist Church in San
Francisco on March 4, 1993. The
name United In Spirit was chosen as
an attempt to be as broadly inclusive
_of religious traditions as possible.
The desire of the group is to join with
other groups who actively oppose the
politics of the religious right and to be
proactive in proclaiming the loving,
inclusive · reign of God. For information
contact United In Spirit, Rev.
Mickey Williamson, First Congregational
Church, 432 Mason St., San
Francisco, CA 94102, (415)392-7461.
Cloister begins publication
ll'THE HARMONIST," the only
handset and hand printed periodical
in the country, is being published by
the members of Christiansbrunn
Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is a
community of gay men who are
Harmonists . The 63-acre cloister is
located in the Mahantongo Valley nf
central Pennsylvania. The newsletter
features a column on what is
happening at the cloister, how the
animals and crops are doing, and
what events are coming up. It also
features a monthly article on the
Pennsylvania Dutch culture of the
Mahantongo Valley, focluding . interviews,
German recipes, farming techniques,
and more. The cost if $15
annually and includes associate
membership. For a complimentary
copy write to Bro. Johannes,
Christiansbrunn Kloster, RDl, Box
149, Pitman, PA 17964.
20th anniversary for
Integrity founder
llLOUIE CREW, founder of Integrity,
Inc. and professor at Rutgers University,
and Ernest Clay celebrated the
20th anniversary of their commitment
ceremony on February 2, 1994, 12
days before Valentine's Day.
"Rev. Dee Dale Day"
MS PART OF the celebration of Rev.
Dee Dale's 10th anniversary as pastor
of MCC Louisville, Ky., the county
judge executive proclaimed Dec. 10 as
"Rev. Dee Dale Day" in Jefferson
County, Kentucky.
Cathedral of Hope
offers bond issue
llCATHEDRAL OF HOPE MCC,
Dallas, one of the fastest growing
churches in America, is selling bonds
in order to refinance current bonds at
a lower rate. The · previous issue
came three years ago whei:i banks
refused to finance the construction of
the congregation's new facility which
now .stands as the world's largest
lesbian and gay church. The new
issue will allow: the church to add
parking and construct new" classrooms.
For information .on the investment
bonds call (214)351-1901.
Dignity/Maui chapter folds
llDIGNITY /MAUI has discontinued
its meetings, according to chapter
organizer Ron Drum.
Bulk Copies Available
OF THIS ISSUE OF SECOND STONE
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Second Stone•March/April, 1994 · :/ 19 /
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LAST SUPPER,
From Page 11
saying 'This cup which is poured out
for you is the new covenant in my
blood."
Direct reference to the Last Supper
as a 'frequent worship experience in
the early church is in I Corinthia11s
10:14-33 and 11:17-34. In both of
these passages, Paul gives stress to
the theme of inclusiveness and unity
that the communion meal expressed:-
Jesus applied the Old Testament
and the Passover traditions to himself.
He focused it all on his own person
and mission. 'This is my body. This
is my blood ." Jesus was very selective
in his interpretation of passover
traditions. The passover meal incjuded
many items that Jesus could have
used as symbols of himself: the slain
lamb, the bitter herbs, salt, etc. He
used the most simple of all. The host
at the Passover had the responsibility
of explaining the items used in the
meal.
Jesus took the common elements of
every meal, bread and drink, and
transformed them by his · use into
vehicles for revealing the glory of
God. This freedom of Jesus in seeing
all things in his own personal and
individual way is one of God's gifts to
you and me through Christ. We also
come to the communion meal with
our personal needs and problems and
experiences that make each of us
unique and . unlike every other person
in the world.
In Communion you are invited to
experience God through Jesus Christ
in the way that fits you and with
which you feel most comfortable and
the least distracted. You are not only
free to understand the bread and cup
in your own individual way; you are
encouraged and invited to do so. .
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Citation
“Second Stone #33 - Mar/Apr 1994”, Second Stone, LGBTQ Religious Archives Network, accessed December 21, 2024, https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/exhibits/show/second-stone/item/1670.