Anonymous Ordained Elder

Anonymous Ordained Elder

United Methodist Church

I knew I was gay when I felt and answered God’s call to ordained ministry. For over thirty years of ministry and marriage I struggled with the tension of not being able to be genuine and accepted for who I am. I was silent when the church struggled with the homosexual issue, afraid I would become a casualty if I spoke up or out. Living in that tension finally broke me physically, mentally and spiritually. Suspected of being gay, I was placed on disability leave. At the next General Conference, the rules were changed and I became eligible for retirement, so I retired in my early 50’s. For now I still have my orders, but I am not welcome to serve. I am healing and learning that God loves me as a gay man, and I am still struggling with my call. I hope and pray that I live to see the day when the United Methodist Church truly has open hearts, open minds, and open doors.

I donate a Lenten stole, purple, with part of John 3:16 on it, because I, we, are members of the world God loved and loves. This stole was made for me by a friend – the friend who offered me a home and family when the United Methodist Church was no longer either to me.