Edward R. Smith
Stole Text
(former) Brother Edward R. Smith, CSC
Roman Catholic
California
As a brother of the Holy Cross for nearly ten years, I hold this era of my life as life-affirming and very formative. Being a nurse, health-minister within a vowed men’s community whose focus is primarily education was challenging, yet liberating.
Being a brother for me also included a bit of an anti-clerical stripe. Hanging this stole more like a choir or academic hood is more in keeping with my own worldview as a lay minister. To be honest, in the early 1970’s, we as brothers rarely every wore “the habit.” Our symbol of profession of vows is a silver medal of our patron Saint Joseph, or a simple band on the left finger. I have no cowl or cincture to offer. I do carry a profound love of silence, prayer, compassion, peace and justice. I respect my own sense of poverty, chastity (celibacy), and obedience to the Gospel while being a fully human, sexual being. My talents for healing health, and creating a healing environment, are all acts of personal prayer for me. I would like to think this was also true for those entrusted to my care.
Being gay within a vowed life was a bit of a “double-closet.” Not wanting to have “outsiders” know that I was a brother who is gay, while selectively letting other brothers know that I was a gay brother. It was all too confusing and I spent enormous amounts of energy maintaining my own closet of isolation.
Being “called” away from vowed life for many of the same reasons I originally had been called to enter the life was an insight to me. Having to reconcile myself as a gay human within an unjust system was painful, yet toxic to my own ideas of integrity and my sense of self. Seeking a new altered set of goals, and dreams is the stuff we are all called to be; an evolving self before God.
As a gay man who is spiritual and a closet practicing Catholic, I have learned to adapt to the Roman Church without leaving my God, my beliefs, my faith, my identity, my integrity, and my baptismal birthright. At times this includes the need to transcend the earthly (human) Church in being an honest member of the Body of Christ.
Many other eras have come my way. Together, I become. Might my wholesome needs be blessed in my holistic union of self. DignityUSA has been a refuge for me in ongoing development, a test ground for the intersection of experience and theory, and a call to balance amidst the need of justice for all.
Roman Catholic
California
As a brother of the Holy Cross for nearly ten years, I hold this era of my life as life-affirming and very formative. Being a nurse, health-minister within a vowed men’s community whose focus is primarily education was challenging, yet liberating.
Being a brother for me also included a bit of an anti-clerical stripe. Hanging this stole more like a choir or academic hood is more in keeping with my own worldview as a lay minister. To be honest, in the early 1970’s, we as brothers rarely every wore “the habit.” Our symbol of profession of vows is a silver medal of our patron Saint Joseph, or a simple band on the left finger. I have no cowl or cincture to offer. I do carry a profound love of silence, prayer, compassion, peace and justice. I respect my own sense of poverty, chastity (celibacy), and obedience to the Gospel while being a fully human, sexual being. My talents for healing health, and creating a healing environment, are all acts of personal prayer for me. I would like to think this was also true for those entrusted to my care.
Being gay within a vowed life was a bit of a “double-closet.” Not wanting to have “outsiders” know that I was a brother who is gay, while selectively letting other brothers know that I was a gay brother. It was all too confusing and I spent enormous amounts of energy maintaining my own closet of isolation.
Being “called” away from vowed life for many of the same reasons I originally had been called to enter the life was an insight to me. Having to reconcile myself as a gay human within an unjust system was painful, yet toxic to my own ideas of integrity and my sense of self. Seeking a new altered set of goals, and dreams is the stuff we are all called to be; an evolving self before God.
As a gay man who is spiritual and a closet practicing Catholic, I have learned to adapt to the Roman Church without leaving my God, my beliefs, my faith, my identity, my integrity, and my baptismal birthright. At times this includes the need to transcend the earthly (human) Church in being an honest member of the Body of Christ.
Many other eras have come my way. Together, I become. Might my wholesome needs be blessed in my holistic union of self. DignityUSA has been a refuge for me in ongoing development, a test ground for the intersection of experience and theory, and a call to balance amidst the need of justice for all.
Contribution Story
This stole was donated to the collection during an exhibit of the collection at Dignity USA's convention in Minneapolis, MN in July, 2013.
David Lohman
Faith Work Manager
David Lohman
Faith Work Manager
Archival Record
Stole Number: 1190
Honoree(s): Edward R. Smith
Donor(s): Edward R. Smith
Geography: California (USA)
Faith Tradition: Roman Catholic Church
Donation Date: 2013
Citation
“Edward R. Smith,” LGBTQ Religious Archives Network, accessed December 21, 2024, https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/items/show/1096.