Madison (Infant son of Valerie Nelson and Diane Gira, who was denied baptism in his United Methodist Church)

For Madison
"A Stole In Honor of Our Son"

We present this stole in honor of our son, Madison, who was denied baptism in Evergreen United Methodist Church in Wahpeton, North Dakota. Our son's birth was treated differently than the other babies born into our church family. Our pastor would not announce our son's birth from the pulpit, would not include his birth information in the Sunday bulletin or monthly newsletter, and even initially said he was too busy to come to our home to meet Madison (but did find time 2 weeks later). The final act of injustice, however, was when our pastor denied our six-week-old son baptism because "we could not provide a Christian home for him" and because "baptism is for the parents, not the baby!" At that point we knew we needed to find a different church and with hearts heavy with pain, we left.

We weren't a couple who attended church on a whim or only on religious holidays. We were leaders in our church who attended every Sunday. At the time we left, we were: secretary to the administrative council, adult Sunday school participants, communion stewards, ushers, singer in the choir, Vice Chairperson of the Trustees, coordinator of a project that provided winter outer wear to needy children in our area, member of the evangelism committee, substitute Sunday school teacher, on the adult Sunday school curriculum committee, and a member of a committee which was in the process of writing a mission statement for the church. None of this mattered; in fact, our love for the Lord wasn't even enough for this pastor. All that mattered to him was that we were gay. Our son is a wonderful 22 month old toddler, a blessing from God, and the pastor and church that rejected him have no idea what they are missing out on!

Valerie and Diane left the United Methodist Church and joined a Lutheran church where they were welcome and, more important, where they could have their son baptized. They sent this in advance of the 2000 General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Cleveland, OH.  It was their hope that, with the telling of their story, the church might begin to look beyond the issue of ordination to see just how deep discrimination runs -- affecting even a six week old infant. In a denomination that believes baptism should be freely offered to the children of those who have professed their faith in Jesus Christ, this stole sparked much discussion at the General Conference and beyond. From the day I received it, Madison's stole became one of six that I took with me everywhere I went for the next six years.

In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April.  At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection.  We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend.  Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves.  In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference.  Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland.  Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240.

 Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested.  As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles.  Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth.  A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles.”  In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide.

 Martha Juillerat 

Founder, Shower of Stoles Project
2006