Elizabeth (From her mother, Helen Fisher Andrew)

Six years ago, my daughter, Elizabeth, "came out" to her father and me as a bi-sexual woman. Although we were reeling from this information, confused, and full of questions, we knew, immediately and deeply, that Elizabeth was still Elizabeth -- the daughter we had longed for, nurtured and cherished for twenty-five years. That she had come in touch with something about her sexuality that we had never anticipated, could not change the love we held for her. We felt honored that we were one of the very first with whom she shared her long-fought struggle and discovery about herself -- that, even though she was quaking inside, she had enough trust in the love we shared to come to us.

As I worked my way through the next few weeks and months, anxiety and fear began to take over. How difficult would her life become? What would this mean for her career? What sort of rejection would she experience? What sort of rejection and scorn would my husband and I have to face? Elizabeth assured us that she was okay -- and we soon learned that courage was a quality she possessed -- in addition to those of which we were already aware -- honesty, creativity, spirituality, sensitivity.

Elizabeth has been fortunate in many respects. Even before she was fully aware of where her struggles with her sexuality were to lead, she became a member of the Prospect Park United Methodist Church in Minneapolis -- a church that has for years been an inclusive congregation. So she was able to "come out" to her congregation, knowing that she would be affirmed, upheld, respected and loved for who she is. I still thank God daily that she has the support of this caring, supportive community.

I have not been as courageous as Elizabeth. It was only two years ago during a Lenten Study at our church in Tarrytown, New York (the congregation in which Elizabeth grew up) that I -- hands shaking, stomach in knots, and scarcely able to breathe -- shared with those whom I considered my extended family that Elizabeth is bi-sexual. God's presence was there as I was embraced -- even by the women who had just said that "they" (homosexuals) shouldn't be teaching in our schools. These people, too, knew Elizabeth and loved her -- now "they" had a familiar face.

I made this stole in a crazy-quilt pattern, which symbolizes, for me, the wondrous, rich, colorful diversity God chose for creation. The signatures have been gathered from the two churches I have mentioned, as well as from my family (two of my sisters are Methodist pastors), friends, and the Women's Spirituality group I belong to at Christ Episcopal Church in Bronxville, New York.

Every stitch on this stole was made with love, and with the prayer that, in the near future, all God's children will know justice, acceptance and love in all walks of life, but especially within Christ's church. I dedicate it first to Elizabeth and secondly to the churches that have expressed God's love through their love: Prospect Park United Methodist Church, the Tarrytown United Methodist Church, and Christ Episcopal Church.

This stole, truly, is a labor of love.

Many of the stoles in the Shower of Stoles collection have been donated by family members, especially parents who have given stoles to honor their sons or daughters. As one would expect, parents have often included long notes with their stoles, telling us about their children. The story on this particular story is unique, sharing thoughts not only about a daughter's coming out to her parents, but also about a mother's struggle to "come out" to her church and community.

At displays across the US and Canada, quilters have been awestruck by the work that went into assembling this stole. Not only is every piece of cloth different one from the next, but the various stitching patterns used to sew on each tiny piece each are different as well. The breathtaking beauty of this stole, the labor and care with which it was created, and the poignant honesty of the story accompanying it have combined to make this one of the most impressive stoles in the collection.

This stole was given to us in advance of the 2000 General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Cleveland, OH.  In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April.  At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection.  We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend.  Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves.  In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference.  Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland.  Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240.

Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested.  As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles.  Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth.  A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles.”  In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide.

Martha Juillerat
Founder, Shower of Stoles Project
2006