Joe Amico

JOE AMICO
First United Methodist Church
Oshkosh, Wisconsin

In 1987, my wife requested a separation to work on her
own issues.  During that time, former parishioners and
friends told me how they had never known me to be so
peaceful.   I realized I needed to deal with my own issues
and come out.  At that time, I was Senior Pastor of First
United Methodist Church in Oshkosh, WI, one of the
larger churches in the Wisconsin conference.  I had been
Conference Youth Coordinator for 7 years, served on just
about every major conference board and was, at that time,
on the Executive Committee of the Board of Ordained
Ministry.  In fact, I had written the conferences policy on what
self avowed, practicing homosexual meant.

When I came out to the Bishop, he insisted I leave my current
position and go on Leave of Absence.  I refused and eight
months later, after bi-monthly meetings with the Cabinet, we
finally agreed that I would find a position that would meet the
criteria for Appointment Beyond the Local Church.

During Advent, the Bishop placed me on a three month study
leave from which I would not return.  The leave was to allow
me the time needed to interview for other positions.  Unheard
of in the United Methodist Church at that time, the Bishop
appointed an Interim to cover the study leave and ensuing
time until the next Annual Conference.

Neither the congregation nor I ever got closure on my ministry
there since the Bishop refused to allow me to tell the real
reasons I left.  There was no good bye ceremony and no
thank yous.  No time to grieve or express other feelings.
Just confusion on the part of the congregation and deep
hurt on my part.

However, on that last Sunday in November of 1987, since I
knew the real reasons for my departure and the fact that I
would never return to that or any other United Methodist
pulpit again, after I pronounced the benediction, I laid my
stole across the pulpit as I exited to shake hands at the door.
Many were startled and those who knew (including the Staff
Parish Relations Committee) wept.

This stole was created by the Hmong people using a process
called counted cross stitch.  It was given to me by a confirmand
in a previous parish by him and his single parent mother, in
appreciation for my work with them.  Hmong artwork tells the
story of a displaced people.  This stole tells my story, having
been displaced by the church I loved.

This stole tells two stories.  First, it is an exquisite work of art, an intricate labor of love created by a Hmong mother and her child, from a family of refugees, to express their great appreciation for Joe Amico's ministry.  Second, it tells a story that is told far too often: that of the clumsy, awkward, "closeted" way in which church officials have dealt with LGBT pastors who have come out to them.  Silence -- avoiding confrontation -- has often taken precedence over the clear pastoral needs of ministers and their congregations by governing staff who would sooner cast a congregation and its pastor into months of inner turmoil than confront their own discomfort with the truth.  The result is unpastoral and unconscionable treatment of God's faithful people.

Martha Juillerat
Founder, Shower of Stoles Project
2006