11 20 2500 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/99d3563799e98d6f440b5892ca45f7c8.gif 926d6d30c08cabfd894968d80650fbb9 Hyperlink A link, or reference, to another resource on the Internet. URL http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/wolfenden_report.html Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Article on Wolfenden Report Description An account of the resource Information about the Wolfenden Report published in glbtq, an encyclopedia of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender culture. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived glbtq online https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/5f0998d0fe711ae3d9b3b43354af62ce.gif c91cebb9cd84bcd9a889a44ca77a8529 Hyperlink A link, or reference, to another resource on the Internet. URL http://europepmc.org/articles/PMC1788284/pdf/brmedj02203-0069.pdf Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Alfred Torrie obituary Description An account of the resource Obituary of Alfred Torrie published in the British Medical Journal Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived British Medical Journal 13 May 1972 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ffc8bfe9930119668388699b514b4a32.gif 0178b67f08af0e6d50adda05930e0207 Hyperlink A link, or reference, to another resource on the Internet. URL http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=393 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Keith Wedmore biography Description An account of the resource Biography of Wedmore in Profiles Gallery of the LGBT Religious Archives Network Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived LGBT Religious Archives Network https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a3d097cec7f1da72df880a5339582bd8.png 7845b55000000b0c21f334782c4972b6 Hyperlink A link, or reference, to another resource on the Internet. URL http://www.lgbtran.org/Interview.aspx?ID=32 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Keith Wedmore Oral History Description An account of the resource Oral History interviews with Keith Wedmore in June 2012 and March 2013. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived LGBT Religious Archives Network https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/57b45a81d5f9731b6958e7a1c291a253.jpg d8b2686d37fb119405f765c2c22e93f5 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/3dea2b6c30e5d45b969329e172abbd08.jpg 05237de06265872454bfee6a618f58d2 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/66f584f6c11667c9de56478c51c9b573.jpg f1025ad2e8c579e6acd2161b9197694a Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Torrie biographical info Description An account of the resource Biographical data on Alfred Torrie from the Dictionary of Quaker Biography. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Library of the Society of Friends, London. Reproduced by permission of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/390a73ef89fb98e64b8576b3d0391d29.jpg 34d1ab61ec15e4cc8fcb2788a81737c0 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ba4d23b29347c20530349f34a7538c40.jpg d5d0cd4d37563f0ae80688dfe2c3ea3b Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document Summary of ideas brought out by a discussion amongst a group of Young Friends, of Kenneth Barnes' article: Standard of Conduct: Drink and Sex Relationships. We feel that it is not possible to suggest a rigid, ideal, standard of conduct, but agree that there are definable limits between which any one of us could take his place. Quite unanimously we agree that if we are intending to drive, we should abstain from drink. Many of our number were uncertain of the after-effect of drink taken with a meal before driving, and also of the duration of the effects of alcohol. As we realised throughout our discussion, we cannot decide what anyone else's action should be. People may feel it right to be teetotal, but on no account should they inflict the fact that they are on other people, but to impress more by their example. When we discuss of question of bottle-parties we are of rather diverse opinions; some feel that if we find ourselves in a party leading to a night of love-making we should leave: others suggest that the presence of a couple not engaged in love-making might influence the others present; thirdly we ask ourselves how much we are able to drink with no impairment to our thinking processes and faculties. We find ourselves in an awkward position, as very few of us have been to bottle-parties leading as far as the behaviour outlined above, although we know of their existence. Is it right, we ask, to refuse an invitation to such a party? We are all in full accord with Kenneth Barnes' most pungent sentence referring to the excess of the cost of drink at a party over the proceeds of a week's charitable collecting. This disregard of any sense of balance cannot, we feel, be right, but we must be aware of the fact that we may be doing just the same type of thing in our own lives even though it be a little camouflaged. To our way of thinking, sexual intercourse if the deepest relationship between two persons, and as such should not be abused in any circumstances. When discussing premarital intercourse between two people in love we find it impossible to reach a conclusion as to whether it should be condemned, as we feel there might possibly be unforeseeable circumstances in which it might be right. The question of any child resulting from premarital intercourse was raised and all of us feel this to be an important reason why premarital intercourse is not to be advocated. This might possibly be offset by the use of contraceptives but as was pointed out, these are by no means 100 per cent perfect, and in any case, it brings in the whole question of the use of contraceptives, which we have not, as yet, discussed. Extramarital intercourse we feel is not right in any circumstance; divorce if treated with the deepest seriousness is, we feel, not necessarily to be condemned. Subsequently arises the whole question of the place of kissing and petting. Many of our number seem to be at sixes and sevens as to the definitions of the terms snogging, petting, American petting, and so on. The main question is: "How far should one go," Nearly all think this to be a matter purely for the boy and girl in a relationship, but several are still concerned to have at least some rough idea of where to stop. It was pointed out that unless the couple know each other well it is not a good thing for intimate caressing of the body and organs to take place at all, because the attraction between two persons not knowing each other well must be merely physical; it can only be selfish to pet when the sole purpose is to satisfy one's own desires. Love involves giving above all else. A single thread seems to link all our thoughts and ideas on the challenging question of our standards of conduct, when drinking and in sex relationships. We advocate no rigid code, and find it difficult to lay down the law in any definite way, but realise very clearly that we must have some inner resources on which to base our behaviour. We have all grown up in Quaker environments and a good percentage of our number have been at Quaker Schools. It is at home, first of all, that we should learn the facts of life in as natural a manner as possible and from the earliest possible age. To many of our parents, who, in many cases, did not get this instruction and help when they were children, the task will be embarrassing and awkward. If, however, the idea of sex is not treated naturally right from the start, it will never be possible to discuss it rationally in the early teens when the young people most need an open attitude to a subject which is one of the loveliest things given us by God. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Young Friends Discuss Barnes Article Description An account of the resource Summary of discussion of Kenneth Barnes' article, "Standard of Conduct: Drink and Sex Relationships" (published in The Friend, February 2, 1962) by some Young Friends. Authorship and date unknown. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Keith Wedmore Papers https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/005578e89a130dbc6a36238378c180d8.pdf 061db0034ea770088e24d2de7540a6cc Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1995 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1995 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 2 Fall 1995 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Valuing Differences, Part 1 Untangling Prejudice and Privilege EXPOSING ROOTS OF OPPRESSION Making Tangled Roots Visible 4 MARY JO OSTERMAN How are prejudice and privilege connected? What are the roots and subroots of oppression? What Is Your Risk Factor? 7 Get a quick reading of your level of risk for human rights violations and your level of privilege. Heterosexuality: A Privileged Place 8 PATRICIA BEATTIE JUNG Explore the prejudice generated by heterosexism and the privilege enjoyed by heterosexual persons. Identifying Race Privilege: From One White to Another 10 JENNIFER SIMPSON What is white privilege and what is a responsible response to it? Coming Out Old: Issues of Ageism and Privilege 12 DOROTHY JEAN FURNISH What is aging? Age privilege? How is the church ageist? Gender Privilege: A Rural Clergy Couple’s Conversation 14 MITCHELL HAY AND BARBARA LEMMEL Listen in on this couple’s dialogue about privilege and who is called to “midwife” changes. Exploring Disability and Privilege 16 FRED BERCHTOLD A ‘temporarily able bodied’ pastor makes connections between the disability rights movement and the gay/ lesbian rights movment. Fall 1995 3 The Elite and the Other: Thoughts on Classism 17 ROSEMARY RADFORD RUETHER AND KAREN L. BLOOMQUIST Two religious leaders comment on how classism plays into the struggle for the liberation of all persons. PLANTING SEEDS OF DIVERSITY Transforming Despair into Hope 18 MELANIE MORRISON A preacher invites us to turn one another’s “despair into hope.” To Denominational Gate Keepers: A Call to Action 20 HOWARD B. WARREN, JR. Denominational executives are called to do as early Christians did—to turn the world upside down. The People of the Eyes 22 JOHN SUMWALT A storyteller explores discrimination and privilege in a fictional three-tiered system. Diversity, Privilege, and Faith: Studying Connections 24 BEN ROE A local church examines orientation privilege and its connections with race privilege. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT A Litany for Freedom 25 RANDY MILLER Through spoken word and song, this litany weaves phrases of “Lift Every Voice” into a call for freedom. ONE MORE WHAT DO SELECTED MOVEMENT WORD YOU THINK? RESOURCES NEWS 26 27 28 29 Next issue: Valuing Differences, Part 2 Weaving Community Publisher Mark Bowman Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Chris Wild Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel More Light Churches Network 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Editorial Advisory Committee Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Stuart Wright, RIC The Double Taproot “Why do people discriminate against other people?” That is a major question asked of program staff as they travel across the country doing welcoming and reconciling ministry work. Why do people discriminate? What are the roots of people’s oppressive behavior? As I probed the answers, I began to doodle. Roots are underground, unseen for the most part, tangled, tenacious. Roots grow in a soil of certain characteristics. Roots emerge into specific kinds of plants. Root systems have taproots and subroots. The root system of oppression has two taproots. The first taproot— prejudice—is fed by a whole subroot system of feelings, attitudes, beliefs, and actions (illustration 1). These subroots include fear and mistrust of those different from us and the blaming of them for things that really are part of us. Digging deeper down the taproot of prejudice, we find that fear, mistrust, and blaming are fed by ignorance of who the “other” really is and is not. Digging even deeper, we uncover subroots of hatred all Making Tangled Roots Visible By Mary Jo Osterman A “perfectly reasonable” explanation existed in the minds of the people making the decisions or statements above. In each case, however, their traditions and biases, prejudices and privileges, became tangled in the decision. They tapped into the root system of oppression and kept it in place one more time. What happened was discrimination. ❙ ❙ ❚ A CEO reviews two equally qualified candidates and hires the man, not the woman. ❚ A local church committee turns down a possible new pastor who seemed a good match for the congregation, but is blind. ❚ Judicatory delegates promise their votes to a gay candidate, but the numbers never add up. ❚ A plumber directs his comments to a 50-year old housemate rather than to the 70-year old owner of the house who had called him. ❚ A middle-class women’s support group says, “Well, we tried, but Doris just doesn’t fit in.” ❚ A lesbian coming out group shuts out Paula, a transexual lesbian who used to be Paul. ❚ A white congregation says “We’re open, but the African-Americans in town just won’t come to our church.” 4 Open Hands tangled up with subroots of violent actions. Finally, we come to a root of anger. These are subroots of prejudice familiar to most of us working in the welcoming church movement. When I tried to determine what feeds the anger, I discovered a second taproot— privilege—which is connected to prejudice (illustration 2). The anger feeding prejudice also feeds privilege. What feeds the anger of prejudice is fear of loss (or perceived loss) of control of one’s life, a fear that comes from the system of privilege. One of the primary subroots that feeds privilege is power over others. A “power-over” position of dominance is conferred on us (by society or its institutions such as the church) due to some advantage we have from our gender, orientation, race, age, ability, or class. Power-over is an unearned advantage. Having such unearned power, we are fed by fear; we might lose our power. We are also suspicious of others’ motives and abilities to wrest power from us. Other subroots of privilege include unearned advantages, feelings of superiority, and actions which maintain that superior status. Although by our actions we may appear to feel superior, underneath we may fear the loss of power and benefits that go with it. Because of these fears, we exercise our privilege by excluding others or somehow denying them equal privilege and benefits. We demonstrate our power by patronizing some, dehumanizing others, controlling still others. We shore up our power by controlling decisions and decision-making processes and by controlling money, real estate, and goods. All of these behaviors are designed—consciously or unconsciously—to help us maintain our own privileged status, whatever that happens to be. Connecting the Roots Now I rapidly began to connect the two taproot systems (illustration 3). For example, the ignorance of prejudice is fed by a dehumanization subroot of privilege. The mistrust of prejudice is fed by the suspicion fostered by privilege. The patronizing attitude of someone who is privileged is fed by fear of loss of control and in turn feeds the dehumanizing process which feeds ignorance and mistrust and fear. Tangles and more tangles, which erupt in different forms of oppression—“weeds” of racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, heterosexism, classism. While we may see the common root system of these products of oppression, it is more likely that we are caught up in the struggle to dismantle one specific form of oppression—the one closest to our own experience. We sometimes try to prioritize forms of oppression in an effort to get others to join our cause: racism is the basic oppression; no, sexism is basic; no, heterosexism is basic; no, classism is basic. Yet some of us cannot separate the effects of the root system of oppression. A poor, Native American gay man who is hearing impaired simultaneously experiences the effects of prejudice and privilege in the form of classism, racism, heterosexism, and ableism. An old, black, blind, poor, lesbian woman potentially experiences six different kinds of oppression in our society because of who she is: ageism, racism, ableism, classism, heterosexism, and sexism. Their experiences cannot be separated out and prioritized since they are the experiences of whole persons. These persons will refuse (rightly) all demands to separate out any aspect of their oppression from their whole selves. more ➟ Fall 1995 5 Because of who they are, we do not have the luxury of working only on “our oppression.” If we are working for the full liberation of all people, we will want to make the connections and to stand in solidarity with all people, working actively and simultaneously against all forms of oppression. For, ultimately, every form of oppression comes from the same two taproots: prejudice and privilege. Our focus in this issue of Open Hands is on understanding privilege, the taproot much less known and acknowledged. Who Are the Privileged? Our social system confers privilege on some of us by freeing or exempting us from something. As a white person, I am freed from having to learn in detail the customs, values, and realities of other races of people in order to survive among them. As a lesbian, however, I am not exempted from the need to understand the heterosexual world in order to survive within it. If I do not conform, I reap a host of penalties, from loss of career to threats against my person. As a person without physical disabilities, I am freed or exempted from having to plan ahead to be sure I will be able to get into a building or have access to bathrooms, pay phones, drinking fountains, or usable work or leisure equipment. As a woman, however, I am 6 Open Hands tion and without thought. An oppressor is both Hitler and the CEO who chooses the male candidates over equally qualified female candidates. An oppressor is both the Klan and the lesbian coming out group who excludes a transexual lesbian. Given this definition of oppression, chances are we all are oppressors of somebody. The biases with which we were raised, the beliefs we were taught, and the privileges we enjoy because of who we are (and the power that comes with those privileges) almost guarantee that somewhere, sometime—maybe often— we will use authority unjustly. No matter who we are. Having advantages, and the unearned authority that comes with them, puts us in the potential pool of oppressors of other people who have fewer advantages and less power. We may also be among the oppressed because society denies us basic rights and discredits our earned authority based on some aspect of who we are. And we may be part of the solution because we are actively working against prejudice and oppression. However, if we glide over the fact that we are oppressors because of privilege conferred on us, we are in danger of missing part of the “big picture.” We stay mired in romantic (liberal and conservative) notions of diversity that conveniently give not exempted from the need to understand our male-dominated society. If I do not learn to operate within, and remain generally subservient to, male ways of naming and male styles of leadership, I will be penalized. Who are the privileged ones? In the United States, as Audre Lorde has said, it is the “white, thin, male, young, heterosexual, Christian, and financially secure” person who is most privileged. Each of us is gifted with privilege—or threatened with vulnerability to human rights violations—according to how closely we fit this norm.1 (See “What is Your Risk Factor?”, p. 7.) Rights vs. Privileges Not all privilege is harmful. Some privileges are really basic rights which need to be seen as “unearned entitlements” available to all.2 These include such rights as health, well-being, a decent education, safe neighborhoods, clean water, breathable air, enough food to eat, shelter, a livable wage, the pursuit of happiness, loving relationships, and being treated decently by others. Be clear: these are basic rights, not “special rights.” Those of us who enjoy these rights as privileges and deny them to others find ourselves in the group called oppressor. Acknowledging Ourselves as Oppressors Are you saying, “Now, wait just a minute! I’m not an oppressor. Those people in the illustrations at the beginning of the article are not oppressors. Oppressors are people like Hitler, dictators in Central America, Soviet communists taking over a country, or the Klan.” If this is your response, you are not alone. Most of us recoil from naming ourselves “oppressor.” Oppressors are usually defined as those who keep others down by severe force. It is this image of oppression that leads us to think of Hitler or the Klan. However, oppressors are also those who unjustly use their privilege or authority to deny equal access or benefits to others. These people may act with intention, motivated by ignorance, religious belief, or fear and anger. Or they may act without intenFall 1995 7 us permission to retain our own privilege and to hoard our power. For example, we will be in danger of supporting equal access to jobs only as long as it does not affect our own status or job security. We will refuse to see that if jobs are to be equally accessible and if unemployment is to be spread equally across race and gender, then fewer white men will hold top level jobs, fewer white women will hold middle management jobs, and more white people will become unemployed. Once we see how we participate in economic oppression— and if we decide to do something about it—we will make ourselves vulnerable in the job market, competing equally for jobs. We will risk losing out to a woman or someone of another race without calling it “reverse discrimination.” Likewise, if we skip over understanding ourselves as oppressors in the church, we are in danger of missing the whole point of ministry: being in ministry with those whom we may have oppressed. Once we see the unjust use of authority in ministry—which is fed by privilege and power and erupts in oppression of others—we no longer only minister to others whom we feel are less than we; we become willing to be ministered to by those who have been marginalized by our unearned privilege. If we are to value human differences, untangling the form our own privilege takes is where we will need to start—no matter what our race, gender, age, orientation, class, ability, or religious beliefs. In the rest of this issue of Open Hands, writers explore specific forms of privilege as a beginning step toward untangling roots of oppression and moving toward valuing human differences. ▼ Notes 1Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches (Trumansburg, New York: Crossing Press), p. 116. 2Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” Peace and Freedom (July/August 1989), p. 11. Mary Jo Osterman, Ph.D., is editor of Open Hands and a freelance writer. Fourth: Where do others stand? Using different colored markers, calculate the risk factor score for: (1) an African-American lesbian, 62, with a disability, making minimum wage. (2) a white, heterosexual man, 63, with disabilities, living on welfare payments. (3) a Mexican-American, heterosexual man, without disabilities, 45, making $18,000. (4) a Native American lesbian, 61, without disabilities, making $36,000. -6 -4 -2 0 2 4 6 High Moderate Low Risk/ Moderate High Risk Risk Low Privilege Privilege Privilege First: Who are you? In the left column, put a plus (+); in the right column, put a minus (-). ( + ) ( – ) ___ White __ Person of color ___ Male __ Female ___ Heterosexual __ Bisexual, lesbian, or gay ___ Age: Under 60; over 17 __ Age: 60+; under 18 ___ Without disabilities __ With disabilities ___ Above poverty level __ At/below poverty ($11,570-family of 3) Second: What is your score? Calculate your score by filling in the blanks and subtracting. ___ the number of pluses you marked subtract ___ the number of minuses you marked = Your Score: ___ this is your risk factor for human ___ violations or for privilege Third: Where do you stand? Circle your risk factor score on the continuum below. What is Your Risk Factor? How much are you at risk for human rights violations? How much privilege do you enjoy? 8 Open Hands A Privileged Place Heterosexism pervades most dimensions of our cultural life. This “system” of privilege and discrimination shapes our legal, economic, political, social, interpersonal, familial, historical, educational, and ecclesial institutions.2 Heterocentrism lies at the heart of this system of prejudice. It is the conviction that heterosexuality is the normative form of human sexuality. Within such a framework, the potential for gender role complementarity and procreativity evident in heterosexual couples becomes the measure by which all other sexual lifestyles are judged. It also becomes the measure by which a place of greater privilege is granted to heterosexual persons and to those “closeted” as such. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being heterosexual. That is not the point. The problem lies with turning differences in kind into better or worse representatives of a single norm. If human sexual reality is pluriform in orientation, then the imposition of any uniform norm will produce dehumanizing patterns of discrimination for some and unfair privilege for others. A closely related example may illuminate. Within traditional patriarchal cultures people believe that the normative form of humanity is male. This androcentrism produces a system of discrimination against females and generates a system of male privilege. Together these patterns of male privilege and prejudice against females create and sustain sexism. Heterocentrism works in a similar manner. Interdependent patterns of privilege for heterosexual people and prejudice against bisexual and homosexual people generate an incredibly pervasive system of discrimination called heterosexism. Evidence of this system is everywhere. It is most obvious of course in the mounting violence against the gay community. It is also expressed in our ridiculing language Heterosexism is a reasoned system of bias resulting in differential treatment based on sexual orientation. It denotes privileged status for heterosexual people and connotes prejudice against bisexual, and especially, homosexual people. By describing it as a reasoned system of prejudice and privilege, we do not mean to imply that it is rationally defensible. Rather we mean to suggest that heterosexism is not grounded exclusively or even primarily in emotional fears or other visceral responses to variations in sexual orientation. Instead, heterosexism is rooted in a constellation of ideas. Roots of Heterosexism Human sexuality is thought to be designed to foster individual fulfillment by drawing persons of different genders into relationship. As the saying goes, “a man without a woman” is believed to be like “a ship without a sail”—obviously incomplete and dysfunctional. (Corollaries are proposed for women.) This theory of gender complementarity is reinforced by the belief that human sexuality is designed essentially (if not exclusively or primarily) for reproductive purposes. Within this framework, it is “reasonable” to question the personal maturity and sexual identity of men and women who do not serve the family, nation and/or species by having children, particularly if this is a matter of choice. Indeed, in some versions of procreationism, one’s status as a “real” woman or “real” man hinges significantly upon one’s reproductive potential and/or performance. Operating within this framework, it is also “reasonable” for society to confer status and privilege on heterosexuality and to respond to homosexuality either with homophobia or heterosexism or both. There is a complex relationship between this set of ideas and some common emotional responses to homosexuality. Some people might be homophobic because images of male same-sex activity suggest that men can be physically vulnerable, subject potentially even to rape. Images of female same-sex activity may suggest to some that women can be powerful, free of male control, potentially independent of men altogether. These images of male vulnerability and female strength evoke in some people feelings of terror and rage. In a heterosexist culture like ours, they make everyone uncomfortable because they challenge the heterosexist myth to which we have all grown accustomed. Although heterosexism is often accompanied and reinforced by homophobia, no necessary connection exists between the two. They don’t always go together. A gap is commonly found within persons between their ideas and feelings. We can be “out of sync,” as it were, with ourselves. So, it is possible for people who are homophobic not to be heterosexist; and for those who are heterosexist not to be homophobic. HETEROSEXUALITY: A Privileged Place By Patricia Beattie Jung I had lived at the same address behind the drugstore for six years. I made it a point to use local businesses whenever possible and had been a regular customer at that drugstore. After my partner and I opened a joint checking account, I stopped at the drugstore to have a prescription filled. I wrote out a check for the amount of the prescription, but the clerk refused to accept my check, not because of any problem with my account, but because there were two female names on the check. In the clerk’s words, “Two female names on the account just couldn’t be right.”1 Fall 1995 9 about (and demonizing stereotypes of) gays. It is also expressed in civil statutes which discriminate against gays and lesbians in regard to military service, employment, housing, adoption, and insurance practices. Finally, it is expressed in ecclesial policies that deny gay and lesbian couples blessings for their unions and permit the ordination of only tightly closeted gay people committed to lifelong and total sexual abstinence. Indeed it is not an exaggeration to say that heterosexism seeks to erase gay people. It seeks to allow no privilege at all. No Place at All Cultures develop many structures to keep people “in place” in various aspects of their lives. For example, in patriarchal cultures women have a rightful, albeit private, place of activity in their father’s or husband’s home. One might imagine that bisexual and homosexual people could have a similar “place” in heterosexism. Of course this place would have to be carefully circumscribed like every other kind of ghetto. It would have to reflect as well the subservience and inferiority of gay people to the heterocentric norm. But the fact is gay people have no place within heterosexist cultures, except their “closet.” Gay couples cannot safely celebrate their love in public. Indeed, their identity must be invisible in our public institutions. They may not enjoy their relationships— hold hands, for example— at school, at the local ice rink, at work, at supper clubs, or on the street. Those few places which allow such expression— openly gay neighborhoods and bars—routinely experience all manner of violence, from trashings to bombings. Heterosexism demands that gay people keep their sexual identity hidden. Why? Because no one should publicly parade what is not fully or normatively human (natural). It is not enough that bisexual and homosexual people keep their sexual life private. Gay people have no safe haven in our culture, not even the protection and safety usually associated with the private sphere, the home. We also silence them in our circle of friends, as well as in other semiprivate spheres, such as the parish. The only acceptable, safe place and heterosexual privilege. Christian teachings contribute to the cultural climate in which these tenets flourish without serious question. Church tradition in effect sanctifies the routinization of this form of discrimination and reinforces the invisibility of heterosexual privilege. Since all persons are made in the image of God, however, Christians also recognize that those who discriminate bear the burden of proof. The time has come for Christians to think critically about the credibility of heterosexism, the adequacy of traditional biblical interpretations cited in support of heterosexism, and the social costs of heterosexism. The time has come for heterosexual Christians to look seriously at the unearned privilege that comes from their orientation. If this evaluation invites the renewal of church teaching, the faithful must accept this challenge and be prepared to confront, dismantle, and move beyond all the expressions of heterosexism found both in church and society. ▼ Source This article is excerpted and adapted from Heterosexism: An Ethical Challenge by Patricia Beattie Jung and Ralph F. Smith. New York: SUNY, 1993. Used with permission. Ralph Smith died in a car accident in November, 1994. Notes 1This vignette is a true story. 2Over two decades ago lesbian feminists recognized the institutional dimensions of heterosexism and began to describe the coercive nature of this system. See Adrienne Rich, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence (1980),” in Blood, Bread and Poetry: Selective Prose 1979-1985 (New York: W.W. Norton, 1986). 3Gordon Allport, The Nature of Prejudice (Cambridge, Mass.: Addison Wesley, 1954). 4Rich, op. cit., p. 29. Patricia Beattie Jung, a Roman Catholic laywoman, is an Associate Professor of Theology at Loyola University in Chicago. She has published many scholarly articles and co-edited with Thomas A. Shannon an anthology on Abortion and Catholicism: The American Debate. Heterosexism seeks to erase gay people for bisexual and homosexual people is the “closet.” That is where heterosexist prejudice requires such “scandalous skeletons” be kept. In contrast, most heterosexual people simply take the authenticity of their sexual identity for granted. Very little blocks their becoming self-conscious of their authentic sexual feelings to begin with and the culture reinforces their integral (if not always responsible) expression of these attractions. They also give no thought at all to the great range of privileges that come to them simply and only because they are heterosexual. In our culture we invite heterosexual adolescents to an awareness of, a mature openness about, and even celebration of, their burgeoning sexuality. Straight people are rarely frustrated or demeaned by norms that would require they inhibit a celebration of who they are and/or whom they really love—unless these affairs are adulterous or incestuous. We do not provide such support and encouragement for teenagers or adults who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At best we encourage them to closet themselves and to make announcements about their sexual identity that are not consistent with their sexual orientation and/or activities. In his now classic text on discrimination, The Nature of Prejudice, Gordon Allport noted over thirty-five years ago that the most deep-rooted prejudice in the United States was directed against homosexual people, who, if they could be more easily targeted, would suffer even greater violence.3 This discrimination is widespread. It has been present since the early colonial period. “As early as 1656,” writes Adrienne Rich, “the New Haven Colony prescribed the death penalty for lesbians.”4 A Challenge for the Church The fact that North Americans accept the tenets of heterocentrism so uncritically is, arguably, the most significant contributor to antigay prejudice 10 Open Hands Five years ago, an African American student at the seminary I was attending spoke her mind and I was fortunate enough to be there when she did. “I have been waiting for the day when white folks start to deal with their own racism.” Her words—spoken in a room full of students, faculty, staff, and seminary board members—still have the power to remind me of my position and responsibility when it comes to racial matters. Because she was talking about racism among white people at the seminary, her words unsettled me. She was not talking about “racism out there” (Proposition 187 in California, police brutality against African American or Latino men, or the wiping out of affirmative action programs at the University of California). She was talking about racism among whites at our seminary. Suddenly, I was implicated in a form of oppression with which I had never before identified. Since then, I have worked hard to see myself as always white and therefore privileged. While I have come to understand a little more of what it means to be white in this country, the depth of my ignorance on racism means I have barely started the task of addressing my own racial identity. I still slip, trip, and sometimes take a wrong turn in addressing my own privilege. I am also glad I am on the road at all. Naming Race Privilege Race privilege refers to a range of advantages people receive because of skin color. In the U.S. it often works according to a “ranking” of persons from darker skin (less privilege) to lighter skin (more privilege). Race privilege also supports race-based stereotypes (for example, the idea that most Asian Americans were not born in the United States). White people routinely benefit from race privilege. A friend’s frustration with racism marks my white privilege: “You know, I went into that same bookstore yesterday, and I noticed right away I was followed. He started immediately after I got in the door. Following me—up and down the stairs, back and forth through the aisles. All I wanted was a book! Why can’t I do some shopping without being followed?” I immediately realize this is the first time I have even slightly felt the absence of an employee following me. “You know,” my African American friend continues, “it doesn’t matter where we are, how we’re dressed, what we’re doing—you white folks assume we’re thieves. I am tired.” Peggy McIntosh, in an article linking male privilege and white privilege, lists twenty-six “daily effects of white privilege” in her life. Those of us who are white can look at the TV or newspaper and see people of our race “widely represented.” We can be fairly certain our skin color will not mark us as a financial risk when using checks, credit cards, or cash. We “can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co-workers on the job suspect that [we] got it because of race.” We can also swear or dress sloppily without having people attribute this behavior to our race. We are never expected to speak for “all the people of [our] racial group.”1 Race privilege: a range of unearned advantages people receive because of skin color. To understand my own privilege, I have had to realize that I am always “raced.” The fact that (white) employees do not follow my (white) body at a local bookstore is an example of race privilege. Although I am often quick to assume that race is a factor only in the presence of people of African, Asian, Latin, or Native American descent, race can be an issue among groups of white people (for example when I am not followed by white employees at a bookstore). Racial issues are present regardless of the race of the people in that situation. As a white person, I am concerned first of all with white peoples’ participation in race matters. Historically and currently in the United States, whiteness has been considered the norm. It needs no explanation or defense. In contrast to my Latin American friend (who rarely finds Latin American authors on reading lists), I have never had to search the syllabus for white authors. I am not slotted into categories such as “model minority” (a common stereotype applied to Asian Americans), or “thief” (as my African American friend was). As a person committed to anti-racism, I want to unlearn ways of living that perpetuate my white privilege and leave no space for the wellbeing and wholeness of people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent. Making Connections with Heterosexism Racism and heterosexism are connected; but the two are never the same. Understanding heterosexism may serve as a window into understanding racism, but never a mirror. While white people rarely have to consider the privilege of our whiteness, most heterosexuals spend little time reflecting on the benefits they receive because they are heterosexual. Racism forces people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent to explain their values and choices against white “norms.” Heterosexism ensures that straight people rarely have to explain, defend, or justify their existence in ways that les/bi/gay and transgendered people do on a daily basis. Despite most forms and applications, my gay friend in a long-term relationship is neither “married” nor “single”; my mixed-race friend is neither only “Hispanic American” nor only “Caucasian.” IDENTIFYING RACE PRIVILEGE: From One White to Another By Jennifer Simpson Fall 1995 11 Responding Out of White Privilege Unraveling our racial privilege often surfaces feelings of guilt or blame. If I had responded, “It’s not my fault the employee followed you” my friend might not have been surprised. However, she and other people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent I know have no use for such pleas of innocence. Further, it is not my friend’s responsibility to help me process my ambivalence about the situation. I listened to what she had to say and I am still realizing the lessons of not being followed. I am slowly learning to listen to my friends’ stories about racism without becoming defensive. Absolving my guilt (“I’m not racist!”) or removing myself from blame (“You can’t put all that history on my shoulders. . .”) was often my initial (if unspoken) response in discussions about racism. Such reactions miss the point. I am convinced that growing up and living with race privilege ensures my participation in racism. Moving beyond blame and guilt means I take seriously the significance of my socialization as a white person. Understanding the social significance of living as a white person leads me to a serious concern with racism and a commitment to work against it. Racism always hurts. It leaves emotional and physical scars. It has caused and continues to cause immeasurable amounts of pain. And it always affects bodies and relationships. I hope that churches committed to addressing heterosexism can express (or already are expressing!) a similar concern for racism. Both kinds of work seek more just ways of living and relating—and more informed and compassionate choices. Unlearning racism and heterosexism are tasks that can benefit from and support each other. I work on being anti-racist because I am interested in my own well-being. I do not want my racism to visit my friendships. Recognizing the regularity of white privilege reminds me of my potential for racism. I am wary of my own capacity for racist behavior and concerned with the race dynamics in my relationships. When my racism does spill into my friendships, I want to notice it, question its presence, and consider how I might act differently. Anti-racism work—the most appropriate response to unraveling one’s white privilege—is about changing our minds. It is also about feeling the assault on our own dignity each time we observe or experience white privilege and turn our backs on its destruction. I am concerned with everyday racism— the fact that I am not followed in a bookstore— because I have learned it affects my friends. I have begun to see the profound difference it makes going through life white, or black, or brown. I also see the connections between my everyday privilege and institutional racism. How can that person who followed my friend in the bookstore separate his rationale for following her from any input he might have in hiring an African-American? The racism that hurts my friends routinely gives me advantages—and I am dis-eased with that contradiction. Overcoming White Privilege Anti-racism work requires much effort and commitment. It is always risky. The predicament of our privilege is intricate and evasive. I often find the following guidelines (in box) helpful in confronting white privilege in myself and others. These guidelines are meant especially, but not exclusively, for white people. It is often people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent who have brought them to my attention. Dealing with my own racism has never been easy. The racism I continue to disregard regularly visits my friends. The stories I hear remind me of my mind and body ignorance on matters racial. In addressing my privilege, I often trip on my ignorance and silence with my arrogance. But five years after hearing the words of an African American woman, I also say with a sense of urgency: ”It is time for white folks to deal with our privilege.“ ▼ Note 1Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” Peace and Freedom (July/August 1989), pp. 10-12. Jennifer Simpson, a Ph.D. student in social ethics and cultural studies at Garrett- Evangelical Theological Seminary and Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, is affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Anti-Racism Guidelines 1. Do not assume race awareness. Society has not socialized and educated white people to recognize racism. It has trained us to not notice or understand our own race privilege. 2. White people need to “do our homework” before we assume the nearest person of Asian, African, Latin, and Native American descent has time to educate us. We can learn from the increasing number of books, videos, and literature addressing race privilege, racism, and the realities of people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent. 3. Do not expect to receive “Racism 101” over one cup of coffee or one education hour. White people will not hear stories about race privilege “on demand,” or only at our convenience. We may hear stories about racism from people of Asian, African, Latin, or Native American descent after we have risked sharing our race ignorance and risked publicly noticing the white privilege present in our local contexts. 4. Do not fold racism into non-racial oppression. Race privilege is never exactly the same as privilege based on gender or sexuality. (Saying “I know exactly what you mean” to a Latin American man’s story about racism—and proceeding to tell him your experience as a lesbian— will most likely cut off any discussion of racism.) 5. Expect hard work. Commenting, “I feel so bad about all the racism at church headquarters” is nice, but working to change it is better. For example, setting aside funds for antiracism training for your own church council, or setting up a study group on local race issues, would be a start to addressing race privilege. 6. Do not expect people of African, Asian, Latin, or Native American descent to celebrate your discovery of white privilege. White people addressing race privilege may be rare, but it is never an heroic act. —Jennifer Simpson 12 Open Hands “You’re 74 years old? Impossible! You don’t look a day over 60!” I smile with evident pleasure, blush ever so slightly, and reply, “Aren’t you kind! Thank you for saying that! I really don’t feel old.” Everyone is happy. My friend has been gracious by underestimating my age. And my sense of being a “special person”—not like other old people—has been reinforced. What is wrong with this picture? First, I have been evaluated by a set of stereotypes about old people that may, or may not, apply to me. Second, I have failed to grasp an opportunity to address the issue of “ageism” and “age privilege.” Aging vs. Ageism Aging is an experience shared by every living creature from the moment of birth. If we are children, we are said to be “growing up.” If we are youth, we are “maturing.” But if we are adults, we are “getting old.” So we begin the ritual of our culture: we spend time, money, and psychic energy trying to “stay young.” In the process, we deny our identity. We say we are aging, or we are not as young as we used to be, or we are getting older. We are reluctant to say, “I am old.” Children “grow up” eagerly looking forward to adult privileges. Young people “mature” with the anticipation of sharing adult power. As adults, however, we resist “coming out old” even to ourselves because it often signals the end of both privilege and power, as well as the reluctant recognition of our own mortality. Ageism—and its personal impact—is a reality shared by almost every old person, although many of us are socialized not to recognize it. It has been defined as “the systematic discrimination and oppression of people solely because they are old.”1 Illustrations can be found on a continuum all the way from “irritating” to “life demeaning.” An old man leaves his umbrella in the car and is called a “forgetful old man.” An old woman does not recognize the need for changes in societal structures and is called “out of date.” An old man takes his umbrella with him in case of rain and is called a “fussy old man.” An old woman speaks out against the status quo and is called “disruptive and feisty.” Old men and women are voted out of public office solely on the basis of their age. Same sex partners, one old and one younger, are dining out. At the end of the meal the table server pointedly gives the check to the younger of the two. At the grocery store, obviously able-bodied, white-haired customers are asked if they need assistance with their groceries. Able old people lose their jobs in order to make way for the young. (See also “It Is Ageist To ...”, page 13.) Ageism is alive and well when all of one’s being is defined by a single characteristic— the number of years one has lived. Ageism is based on a deeply ingrained, negative stereotype of what old people are really like. It is used to rationalize discrimination and to confuse our discussions about rights and privilege. Human Rights vs. Privilege Human rights are the goods of life to which everyone has a right simply because they are human beings, created by God. “Everyone” means everyone: the young, the old, the in-between, the abled and those with disabilities, men and women, whites and people of color, heterosexuals and lesbigays. In the United States we have historically identified these rights as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Privilege, on the other hand, is the expectation that these human rights will automatically be enjoyed by particular groups of people solely because of factors of birth. Thus privilege, and therefore power, is automatically bestowed upon those of a certain economic class, gender, race, or sexual orientation. In our American culture such privilege is most often granted to middle and upper class persons, and within these groups, to white heterosexual males. Others, including women, people of color, the poor, those with disabilities, and lesbigay persons achieve certain human rights only through advocacy and special legislation. However, in the general course of human affairs, those discriminated against for any reason usually do not have access to either power or privilege, making it difficult to become advocates on their own behalf. Even when human rights are legislated, those who have enjoyed “systemic privilege”—usually without even noticing it—often interpret such basic rights as “special rights” or as “privilege unfairly bestowed” on undeserving groups. Relationship Between Ageism and Privilege Old people have few privileges in our society. The ones they have are primarily monetary, based on a stereotype that all old people are poor. (Some of these are euphemistically referred to as “senior discounts.” However, the middle-aged “poor” do not receive “middle-aged” discounts!) The fact of the matter is that many of the old are living at or below the poverty line, where senior discounts, while appreciated, do not represent a solution. In our culture the image of “old” tends to thwart the probability that the old can pursue life, liberty, and happiness. To describe someone as old conjures up a picture of poor, sick, alone, senile, physically disabled, out of touch with the real world, hopelessly traditional, and gainfully unemployed. In other words, useless. When the old are viewed in this way, little is expected of them. For all intents and purposes they have been marginalized and rendered invisible. If this stereotype becomes the lens through which all old people are viewed, the status and power of the old are diminished almost to the vanishing COMING OUT OLD: Issues of Ageism and Privilege By Dorothy Jean Furnish Fall 1995 13 point—and the “privilege” of mid-life adults is confirmed and legitimized. Issues for the Church For the old, the death of spouse, partner, or close friends is a common experience and expectation. These losses are deepened by modern mobility that frequently results in children and intimate confidants living many miles away. Fortunately, the church community often becomes “family ” for otherwise isolated persons. The context may be an adult Sunday School class, a women’s or a men’s group, the choir, or a Wednesday night Bible study. When retirement from the work force or fading physical energies result in a sense of disengagement from life, participation in these church groups can provide a much needed sense of connection. But the “church family” is not immune to the dangers of ageism and age privilege! ✦A church is ageist when it regrets the inability of the old to climb the stairs to the sanctuary, but fails to provide accessibility. ✦A church is ageist when it takes public pride in the “new young families” who are attending church activities, but takes for granted the “old folks” who have supported the church through many years. ✦A church is ageist when it forgets its active old members and leaves ministry with the old to the retired minister on the church staff whose task is to visit the shut-ins. ✦A church is ageist when it assumes that old people no longer want leadership roles. ✦A church is ageist when it acts on the assumption that in order for younger people to become involved in the church the active and able old members must be expected to step aside. ✦A church is ageist when it makes plans for an “older adult ministry” without consulting the ones to whom and with whom they plan to minister. ✦A church is ageist when it “honors” the old but treats them in a condescending and patronizing way. ✦A church is ageist when it puts all of the hearing aids in one pew, down front. ✦A church is ageist when it assumes that old people will always resist change. The issue before the church is that of ensuring equal accessibility (both to building and to leadership), equal visibility, and equal respect. In other words, the issue is to identify and rectify any “over-privileged” status which currently benefits middle-aged adults, youth, or children in our churches. Rarely does a church consciously discriminate against the old. Often the old themselves are unaware that they are the targets of ageist thinking, but assume that feelings of uselessness and invisibility are simply the lot of persons who are growing old. When actions associated with ageism are accompanied by behaviors that arise out of one or more of the other “isms”—heterosexism or racism, for example— people are faced with double jeopardy! Double jeopardy belongs on a television game show, not in the church! ▼ Note 1Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, Facilitator’s Handbook: Confronting Ageism (OLOC, 1992). PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098. Dorothy Jean Furnish, an old 74-year-old professor emerita of Christian education at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois, is now growing older in Colorado. IT IS AGEIST... ...To consider “young” a compliment and “old” a derogatory synonym for ugly, decrepit, out-of-date. (“You don’t look your age.”) ...To speak/do for Old People instead of letting them speak/do for themselves. To assume they need help. (To restaurant staff: “Dad would like a table by the window.”) ...To view an Old Person either as a burden or a role model rather than an equal with whom a reciprocal relationship is desirable. (“When I get old, I want to be just like you!”) ...To patronize a courageous Old Person by trivializing their anger as “feisty.” (“She’s a feisty old gal. Don’t take her too seriously.”) ...To categorize an outspoken Old Person as “complaining,” “difficult,” or “crotchety.” (“He’s a crotchety old man. If he doesn’t like something, he lets you know!”) ...To be ready to force the segregation of Old People into an “Old People’s Home” and feel good about it. (“We’re putting mother into a retirement home. She’ll be happier with people her own age.”) ...To assume automatically that an Old Person is asexual. (“Getting married? At their age?”) ...To be unsupportive of an Old Person looking for a partner, or disrespectful of an Old Person’s choice to be single. (“She doesn’t really know what she wants!”) ...Not to confront ageist remarks because they are not “really” meant “that” way! (“I just try to hold my tongue. People mean well!”) This list is adapted from “Ageism—What Is It?” in OLOC, a brochure of the Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098. Used with permission. 14 Open Hands Mitchell: How do we find a working definition for gender privilege? Obviously it is based in patriarchy... Barbara: ...and it deals with social structures. “Privilege” means access to power—access to the means to acquire and keep power. Mitchell: So “gender privilege” would be the social and economic structures that enable males as a class to hold and keep power over others—those “others,” of course, meaning women? Effects of Gender Privilege Barbara: Yes. And one of the greatest powers of gender privilege is the sheer inertia of the structures themselves. Male privilege doesn’t have to be overtly enforced because it is part of the lifecurriculum in our families, schools, economic systems, and churches. Mitchell: Yeah, the power of the patriarchal status quo is immense—men tend not to think about the privilege afforded them because the system just is. And women find critiquing the system difficult because women are not in positions of power to change the system from above. GENDER PRIVILEGE: A Rural Clergy Couple’s Conversation By Mitchell Hay & Barbara Lemmel Barbara: Also, the effect of gender privilege in the church is as real as in any secular institution. The church is a hierarchical model of organization, a bastion of male privilege for years and years. Over a millennium of patriarchal inertia exists. No wonder changing it feels like banging your head against the wall. Mitchell: In the mid-part of this century, the Methodist Church and several other mainline denominations began to allow women into the ordained ministry, but I don’t know if the structures of male gender privilege have changed all that much. I think the church structure uses some subtle and not-so-subtle tools to keep down the voices that call for systemic change. Remember when we were in seminary in the 1980s, about half the student body were women? Since then we’ve seen so many friends—bright, articulate, talented women with calls to ministry leaving the institutional church, feeling beaten and abused and burnt out. I can’t think of any men we knew in seminary who have left the ordained ministry. Barbara: When I attended the 1991 United Methodist Clergywomen’s Consultation, we spent a great deal of time talking about positions of privilege, particularly in terms of gender and color. After one plenary, a district superintendent— a man in his fifties—looked around his discussion circle at all the clergywomen, including me, and said, “I don’t really understand why there is so much talk about the system not working for women. I’ve been in the United Methodist Church all my life and the system has always worked for me.” I thought, “This man is clueless with a capital K.” I had assumed that since he was attending the Clergywomen’s Consultation, he would have some basic awareness of power structures within the church. I must say, though, that he was a very attentive listener as we tried to explain to him that the system worked for him because it had been designed by men like him, for men like him. Mitchell: Again, that’s the power of the status quo—those who benefit from the system really have a hard time seeing how it marginalizes others. We see that in all the “isms” of our society: capitalism marginalizes the poor but the Imagine a quiet rural town in upstate New York and a large parsonage next to the church. We are drinking coffee in our living room on a Saturday afternoon, having just put our eight-month old baby down for a nap. In the midst of this domestic scene, we found ourselves in serious discussion about gender and privilege. Fall 1995 15 middle class and wealthy don’t see it; racism marginalizes people of color, but whites don’t understand it; heterosexism excludes gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people, but heterosexual people explain it away. Connections with Heterosexism Mitchell: I had an illuminating experience when we lived in Vermont of how gender privilege and heterosexism were intertwined. I was guest-teaching a 10thgrade class on homophobia at the high school. The boys in the class were loudly proclaiming how homosexuals made them “sick” and how they wanted to “beat the crap out of one if he ever touched me.” It was obvious the boys were only thinking about and fearing male homosexuality. One of the young women quietly asked the young men what they thought about lesbian sexuality. The boys got predatory grins on their faces and talked about the heterosexual pornography they had seen that utilized simulated lesbian love scenes. “Why does that homosexuality turn you on when male homosexuality makes you afraid?” she demanded. While the young men grew silent, I could see the light bulbs turning on in the minds of the young women. They were making the connections between patriarchy’s control and objectification of women’s bodies and homophobia, which in this case, was expressed as male fear of being made the object of male sexuality. The girls began to understand that heterosexism has its roots in sexism. I don’t know if the boys ever made that mental leap. Transforming Privilege into Equality Barbara: That’s a good example. I know, too, that some excellent scholars have made clear in their studies the connections between racism and classism and patriarchy and the other “isms” we struggle with. However, the point is to change patriarchy into something more equitable and humane, not just describe it. Yet, even when we talk about how to change systems of oppression, the reality of privilege shows up. Mitchell: The reality of gender privilege is that those who are privileged are least at risk in critiquing and making changes to the status quo. Barbara: Right. As a white woman, I’m safer critiquing the racism of the church than I am critiquing the patriarchy of the church. If I talk about feminism and changing the patriarchy, I am dismissed as working in my self-interest, whereas men working to save the patriarchal status quo are heralded as true believers or savers of religious tradition (no selfinterest, there, of course!). Mitchell: True. As a white, heterosexual male, I’m fairly safe critiquing all the “isms” of the church and culture—or ignoring them—because the patriarchal system is there to affirm who I am and keep my privileges in place for me. That safety is precisely why white, heterosexual men are called to critique and break down the structures that exclude so many people we love. Jean Audrey Powers’ “coming out” speech this summer (see p. 31) made my role in the system of gender privilege more clear to me. She said that in the biblical tradition there are a limited number of roles one can take in the face of injustice. One can stand back and do nothing, one can be an active perpetrator of injustice, one can be a passive resister of injustice, or one can work actively on behalf of the marginalized. Jean Audrey gave the example of the fourth role: the midwives, as active resisters, lied to Pharaoh to save the lives of the Hebrew children. It is crucial, Jean Audrey said, to “fear God more than unjust authority.” Barbara: That reminds me of when we were doing a little “midwifing” of gay rights legislation at the State House in Vermont. I was completely bewildered. Testifying before these House members were gay and lesbian teachers, nurses, and state workers who were risking their safety, their housing, and their very careers to get a law passed that would include sexuality as a protected status. A whole state house full of people risking, and where was the church on their behalf? You and I were the only clergy to testify on behalf of the bill. The nearly monolithic “Christian” voice at the hearing was that of the radical right. Where were the bishops? The heads of the church boards and agencies? Mitchell: Well, there are some prophetic voices among the bishops and agency chairs, and that’s great, but changing the hierarchy isn’t our main focus. We’re looking for true systemic change, for justice at a very basic level, and that won’t work on a top-down basis. What we need are more lay and ordained persons in local churches who are committed to speaking out and working against oppression, whatever forms it may take. Barbara: And, generally, those of us with the most privilege and power need to do the most speaking out—not because less powerful folks are voiceless, but because they need all the allies they can get. Letty Russell calls it using our social position to betray the very structure that put us here.1 Mitchell: Well, I’m just glad that we’ve moved beyond any semblance of gender privilege in our own relationship. Barbara: I hear Micah stirring in the bedroom. I bet he’s wet. Could you go change his diaper? Mitchell: Umm, is it my turn already? ▼ Note 1From a Letty Russell lecture on Inheriting our Mother’s Garden. Mitchell Hay and Barbara Lemmel are United Methodist pastors of five small congregations in the Adirondacks of New York. They are the parents of Micah Scot Lemmel-Hay. 16 Open Hands While attending the National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations in July, I was struck by similarities in the movements to open church doors for persons with disabilities and for person who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Official proclamations of most denominations say we must minister to these persons. However, allowing them a full share in the ministry— allowing them to minister to us— ah, that’s another thing! Church laws still say that some persons are not fit for ordination because of their disabilities or their nonheterosexual orientation. The right and privilege of ordination presently belong to heterosexual persons without disabilities. It appears we still believe that the standard for the ministry should be Leviticus 21:17-20: “None of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. ...no [one] who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no [one] with a crippled foot or hand, or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles.” (NIV) Even ministry to those with disabilities often does not occur. Older church buildings with their many stairs seem to have been built with Leviticus in mind. Persons who are viewed as “untouchable” feel pressured to hide the reality of who they are—to stay “in the closet.” A friend of mine with a learning disability tells of an experience in seminary when she publicly described her dyslexia. Another student asked to talk to her alone. During their conversation, he became clear that he also had dyslexia. He told her, “Don’t talk so loud. I’m sure that’s what I must have, but I don’t want anybody to know about it. ...And how would I ever tell my parents...?” Those of us without disabilities often take our ability for granted. We may or may not be aware of how the everyday world is structured to favor us physically, psychologically, socially. That is ability privilege. With our privilege comes power to set societal customs, pass laws, and retain church policy statements which silence, shun, or shut out those with disabilities. A Few Words about Words “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words...”—words such as faggot, dyke, four-eyes, cripple, deaf and dumb, or stupid can stab our spirits, opening wounds that are harder to heal than broken bones. “Specially challenged” is a euphemism that doesn’t really clarify what is being spoken of. “Physically challenged” does not include persons with learning disabilities, mental retardation, or emotional problems. While language is still evolving, most within the disability-rights movement prefer the word “disability.” Persons are not “disabled persons.” They are persons with disabilities. Persons are only “handicapped” if things are not available to help them overcome the limitations of their disabilities: glasses, hearing aids, wheel chairs, ramps, elevators, large print bulletins, sign interpreters, TDD telephones, and special teaching techniques for persons with learning disabilities. The church handicaps persons when it will not change to meet people’s needs. Society handicaps persons when it places a stigma upon anyone who is different from “the norm,” when it says “you must conform to what we say is standard”— or face the consequences of less accessibility, fewer basic rights, less privilege. Making Connections At least fifty percent of all people will some day have either a temporary or permanent disability. Percentages for gay men are even higher when AIDS is considered a disabling condition. The quest of the welcoming church movement and the disability-rights movement is the same—the full inclusion in all areas of the life of the church for all God’s children. This is the goal for the local church I pastor. In January 1995, we adopted the statement: “Our mission is to proclaim to our church family, our neighborhood, and the world that the reign of God is at hand in which each person will be seen as God’s special beloved child...we are open to persons abled and disabled of all races, ages, men and women, and persons who are homosexuals being a full part of our congregation and all its programs and ministries.” We are doing better at living out some parts of this mission than other parts. We are an older congregation, with few young people. We are in a mostly white neighborhood, which is reflected in our membership. We have one openly gay man, who grew up in our congregation and is now our lay member to annual conference. We still have a long flight of stairs up to our sanctuary, but we do have large print bulletins, hymnals, and Bibles for those who are visually impaired, a hearing assist system, and a Braille printer. A Final Thought When any of God’s people are excluded, the church becomes a body that has a disability. It is as if a hand has been amputated or a part of the heart cut out. Christ wants his body, the Church, to be whole. That means all must be present. ▼ Fred Berchtold, who identifies himself as “temporarily able bodied,” is chair of the Northern Illinois Conference Accessibility Advocates Association and pastor of Norwood United Methodist Church in Chicago. Exploring Disability and Privilege By Fred Berchtold Braille Printing Services Offered A church may fax or mail material they want in braille to Norwood United Methodist Church. The church will mail back a braille copy of the material. For more information, contact Rev. Fred Berchtold at 6109 N. Northcott, Chicago, IL 60631. 312/775-4161. Fall 1995 17 Concentrated Wealth: The Underlying Division By Rosemary Radford Ruether Powerful Language: Elaborated Code By Karen L. Bloomquist The use of language is one pervasive way through which power is exercised over those of a lower class position. Those of a higher class position, and with higher levels of formal education, tend to use language that is different from the language of a lower class and/or educational level. It is more nuanced, reflective, analytical, abstract, and able to deal with ambiguities. In contrast to this “elaborated code,” the language of working-class persons tends to be of a “restricted code.” Statements are simple, direct, concrete, emotive, and often take the form of commands. “The way things are” is taken for granted without questioning why. There are unambiguous boundaries, especially in matters of morality. A given behavior is either right or wrong. These class differences are evident in many discussions of homosexuality. The case for a greater acceptance of persons who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual typically is made using language of a more elaborated code. This often provokes reactions reflective of a more restricted code, as well as resentment toward these “higher-ups” who are perceived as telling them what they should believe or feel. By too quickly labeling such reactions simply as “homophobic”— without also examining dynamics of classism embedded in them—we may reinforce the domination of classism rather than searching for more effective ways to inter-connect with yet another struggle for justice. ▼ Karen L. Bloomquist, Ph.D., an ordained clergywoman, is director for studies in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. In this capacity, she has staffed ELCA work on a sexuality statement. She is the author of The Dream Betrayed: Religious Challenge of the Working Class. Attention to injustices based on race and gender is vital for a fuller vision of a just society, but I suspect we have swung too far in the direction of an “identity politics” that focuses primarily on race and gender group self-esteem in a way that fragments each group against the others. Perhaps it is time to look again at the overall class structure of American society as a way of recognizing the common framework in which these various divisions are interconnected in one social economic system, a system that uses all these distinctions to divide and conquer. American society is more deeply divided economically than at any time since the era before the Depression. By 1987, about 32.5 million Americans lived below the poverty line, twothirds of them white. Only 21 percent of them received welfare benefits. Most had one employed person in the family, some had two, but the pay level was too low to permit them to climb out of poverty. Gender and race are major determinants of income; however, this doesn’t mean that most white males are doing well or that many white men are not found among the poor and the homeless. The real issue is the group that owns or controls the commanding heights of the American economy. Andrew Winnick estimates that 90 percent of Americans own only 33 percent of the wealth, mostly in homes and cars, while the top 10 percent own 67 percent of the wealth in the form of businesses, stocks, bonds, and money market accounts. At the top of this elite group are the Forbes 400 wealthiest Americans who collectively own 40 percent of the fixed capital. This polarization of wealth and poverty is more extreme in the United States than in the nine top industrialized countries of Western Europe.1 We need to look carefully at this richest 10 percent of our population who control the wealth and power that define the government, military, economy, and media of the whole society. We need to consider how to define a social vision that can unite the other 90 percent in a common struggle to make the system more just for the great majority. It is time to knit back together our various distinctions of gender and ethnic identity, important as those are, and to find common bonds and a common base of struggle around projects of economic and political democratization. “Identity politics” just plays into the hands of those who would divide and control us all. ▼ Source This article is excerpted and adapted from “Beyond gender, race, U.S. divide is economic,” National Catholic Reporter (March 25, 1994), p. 28. Used with permission of author. Notes 1Andrew J. Winnick, Toward Two Societies: The Changing Distribution of Income and Wealth in the United States since 1960 (New York: Praeger, 1989). Rosemary Radford Ruether, Ph.D., teaches theology at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois. Her latest book is Gaia & God: An Ecofeminist Theology of Earth Healing. THE ELITE AND THE OTHER: Thoughts on Classism American Myth: Class has no relevance to our struggles for justice in this society. 18 Open Hands than the all-male supper in the upper room, represents the inclusive table fellowship at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. Eating in certain places and with certain people can be a dangerous, even revolutionary, act. Just talk to anyone who had hot coffee poured on their heads in the 1960s while seeking to integrate the lunch counters at Woolworth’s. Talk to people who attend Glide Memorial United Methodist Church in downtown San Francisco where the hungry and the well-fed meet one another in the soup lines after the Sunday service. Eating with lepers, women, tax collectors, and sinners was just one of the many ways Jesus broke down dividing walls and proclaimed peace to those who were far off and those who were near. This table fellowship was one of the many inviting, maddening, playful, healing, and subversive ways he disrupted conventional wisdom about who was near and who was far off. Those meals were visible enactments of the commonwealth he preached. He scandalized people by saying that if you want to understand the reign of God, then you need to learn from those whom the dominant culture labels sinners, strangers, aliens, and outcasts. He said that the faith they exhibit in their social location at the margins of the community reveals God’s spirit and God’s realm. Jesus didn’t call people to move from the margins into the mainstream as a pre-condition to forgiveness and participation in the commonwealth of God. In fact, he did the opposite—he called people to move from the mainstream to the margins, from the temple to the streets, from the safe confines of the sanctuary to the ditches where victims lie bleeding. That is where we find him again and again: with those considered far off. He was there listening to them as well as preaching to them, learning from them as well as giving to them, being served Poet/prophet Adrienne Rich’s question frames a window through which we might look at what it could mean to live believing that we are no longer strangers and aliens, that the dividing walls have been abolished and hostility put to death. What would it mean to live in a country whose people were changing each other’s despair into hope? What would it mean for the church to stand on the first page of the end of despair? It will undoubtedly be a journey crossward, upstream, against the grain of a culture that is hungry for scapegoats. From Mainstream to Margin The gospel story of the meal in Bethany (Mark 14:3-9) is a story of people turning one another’s despair into hope. It offers us a narrative and an image of what we might expect if we ourselves dare to change life, dare to stand on the first page, dare to live from the conviction that no one is a stranger or an alien. Let’s revisit Simon’s table and listen for clues. The first thing we notice is those who are present. Simon, the host, is a man considered unclean (a leper) by tradition and scriptural law. At least one woman is there, one who performs a prophetic and pastoral act of anointing. Presumably those who traveled with Jesus from town to town are also there. I have long wished that we could ritually remember the meal at Bethany on Tuesday evenings during holy week, as we remember the last supper on Maundy Thursday. The table in Bethany, more adequately ...What would it mean to live in a city whose people were changing each other’s despair into hope?— You yourself must change it.— ... Though your life felt arduous new and unmapped and strange what would it mean to stand on the first page of the end of despair? Adrienne Rich1 By Melanie Morrison Fall 1995 19 by them as well as serving them. Simon, a leper, was his host. A woman anointed his body, which Jesus spoke of as something to be remembered in the whole world wherever the good news is proclaimed. What happens at the table in Bethany goes farther and deeper than Jesus using such occasions as so-called teaching moments. It goes farther and deeper than Jesus welcoming every one, even women and lepers. These are people turning each other’s despair into hope. Jesus is “the Christ” because the God he incarnates touches the lives of others through him and because he is open to being touched by people like Simon and the woman, who incarnate God for him. As Rita Nakashima Brock has pointed out, “When Jesus is oppressed by the principalities and powers of the world, he reveals the incarnate power of God as he does through much of his life and at his death. But when Jesus has structural power over another, [for example, as a man in relation to women], divine power confronts Jesus from those at the margins...[they are] the incarnation of God to Jesus.”2 From Despair to Hope Jesus, in his flesh, broke down the dividing walls and created one new humanity through his openness to the transformative power of the Spirit embodied in those abused by domination and injustice. With Jesus, we can both embody this Spirit and be transformed by it. Many of us have experienced something of both positions—sometimes oppressed by power that privileged ones wield against us; sometimes inheritors of power granted us by privileges associated with our skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or citizenship in this country. To quote Brock again, It is up to us to be alert to our own uses of power so that we are able to resist abuse and to resist abusing; to resist oppression and to refuse oppressing others... When we take responsibility, we can use our power to love, to nurture, to enable freedom and willfulness of others, incarnating the love of God.3 To be a people changing each other’s despair into hope occurs when we can endure the grace and self-scrutiny that reveal how, in the web of complex relationships in which we live, none of us is only near or only far off. That is hard to acknowledge. We tend to assume that we are the ones who are most near, most in touch with God’s realm. We assume we are near by virtue of our inherited power and privilege, by virtue of our faith that we believe grasps the heart of the matter, or by virtue of our experience of oppression. We tend to assume that they— from whom we are estranged— are the far off who must be brought near. But what if being “in Christ” depends on our movement and our transformation as well as the movement and transformation of our enemies? What if being “in Christ” means risking the arduous, new, unmapped journey of staying awake not only to when we are near but also to when we are far off? What if it means staying awake to when we have a word of truth to speak and to those times when the truth shakes us to the core? What if it means staying awake to when we can and should reveal the incarnate power of God from our place at the margins and to those times when divine power is confronting us, calling us to confess our misuse of structural power? As a lesbian, I experience a kind of double jeopardy in the church and the world due to sexism and heterosexism. This experience of oppression, however, does not make me immune to oppressing others. My white skin affords me privilege and power that people of color are denied. I have had educational and economic opportunities that have been denied to many. If I really take to heart the good and radical news that we are no longer strangers or aliens, my deepest commitment is not to creating communities “safe” for people like me. My deepest commitment must be to the work of transformation so that every one is safe and no one a stranger. Transformation involves not only changes in heart, attitudes, and behaviors, but also changes that bring about fundamental redistribution of power. It is more imperative than ever—in the midst of these frightening times— that we nurture communities of faith where we can sit down and weep, where we can engage in the difficult and exhilarating work of learning from our differences, where those of us who have been silenced are encouraged to speak in our own voice, where those of us who hold power and privilege are called to account and allowed to change, where we can actively and tenderly care for ourselves and each other, and where we can celebrate even the smallest breakthroughs with exuberance. With Christ as the cornerstone, we can be a dwelling place for God—a people changing each other’s despair into hope—asking always: For whom is the world, the church, not yet safe? Who is the stranger, the alien, in our midst? ▼ Source This article is adapted from a sermon preached at the closing worship of the 20th General Synod, United Church of Christ, July 4, 1995, Oakland, California. Used with permission. The full text can be obtained by writing Melanie Morrison, PO Box 23233, Lansing, MI 48909. Notes 1Excerpts from Adrienne Rich, “Dreams Before Waking,” Your Native Land, Your Life (New York: Norton, 1986), p. 46. 2Rita Nakashima Brock, “Reflections on Mirrors, Motheroot, and Memory,” delivered on November 6, 1993 at the Re-Imagining Conference, Minneapolis, Minnesota. 3Ibid. Melanie Morrison, Ph.D. candidate, is an ordained United Church of Christ minister and co-director of Leaven in Lansing, Michigan. She is the author of a new book, The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice (Pilgrim, Fall 1995). Ephesians 2:13-22 (NRSV) But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near.... For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.... So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but...a dwelling place for God. 20 Open Hands In the midst of our work of building a truly inclusive church where lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons will join hands with heterosexuals in full membership, we have said little about our experience with denominational executives who go by many titles but see themselves in this struggle mainly as gate keepers or peace keepers. Has it been your experience that we get smiles, pats on the back, private conferences— all very sincere—from these executives, but little translation of this private aid into open support or action? As our passion has escalated, denominational executives have developed a distance apparently born of a perceived need for “scrupulous fairness,” a need for “balanced discussion,” or a call to “study both sides of the issue.” Such “fairness” and “balance” translates into little or nothing getting past the gate keepers into the judicatory process. As a Presbyterian, I see this so clearly in our General Assembly’s three-year mandate for judicatory dialogue on homosexuality and ordination. Little dialogue has taken place and some of this has to do with our paid personnel. We hear over and over that 20 percent of Presbyterians are liberal, 20 percent are conservative, and the rest in the middle want to get rid of divisive issues. We have been turned into “an issue.” We are not an issue. We are Presbyterian people. A constant attempt is made to thwart large public meetings. A “play it down mentality” has developed in the Presbyterian Church which translates into “let’s not bring in Janie Spahr or Chris Glaser who will speak eloquently on behalf of gay and lesbian people. Public meetings with publicity will just stir up this divisive issue.” When a meeting is convened, it must be scrupulously fair, with equal time given both sides. Yet those who would limit our rights have been speaking for almost 2,000 years; we have been sharing our experiences for only ten to twenty years. What is fair? This “fairness” approach grows out of that hollow scream of the Old Testament false prophets: “Peace, peace, when there is no peace” (Jer 6:14, NRSV). Our gate keeper executives are screaming: “Let’s keep it within limits, not let it destroy the denomination.” How can there be peace when people are not free? How can denominations continue when their children, youth, and adults who are not heterosexual are made second class members with no chance of up-grade to first class in spite of having earned thousands of “frequent flyer” bonus miles? Not only is the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy prevalent in our denominations, this insidious denominational control called “fairness” is stifling what dialogue might occur. In the Presbyterian denomination, as in so many others, “judicatory dialogue” is truly an oxymoron. A Reminder and a Story Denominational executives who advocate peace where there is no peace—because justice and freedom do not yet exist for all God’s people—will ultimately self-destruct. For example, the end result of the struggle for power in the Southern Baptist denomination between the moderates and conservatives was that denominational executives and seminary professors who tried to “be fair” were fired at the same rate as those who spoke out more boldly. Rebecca Prichard, currently assistant dean of Christian Theological Seminary, was in the spring of 1991 the associate executive in the San Francisco Presbytery when the Presbyterian Human Sexuality report Keeping Body and Soul Together was to be voted on at General Assembly. A TV station did a program which included an interview with Jane Spahr (an open ordained lesbian), a minister who disagreed with Spahr’s and the report’s position, and Rebecca Prichard, who was asked to speak on “the Presbyterian point of view.” Prichard was very much in favor of the new human sexuality report. She says, “In retrospect, I wish I would have supported it fully since I felt so positive about it. I got as much negative flack by being mild as I would have gotten had I spoken my conscience, which fully supported the report.”1 A Call to Action We hire executives not only for their program and administrative expertise, but also as people of God. We seek their honest opinion on all matters of faith. We expect them to keep people open to Jesus who in thirty-three years fully opened the church to all God’s wonderful rainbow of creation. Our executives must be visionary, a breath of fresh air, wind of the Holy Spirit. They must not be bound by the “Peace, peace when there is no peace” school of denominational training. If our denominational bureaucracy would translate their beliefs openly into their daily work, they might break the deadlock occurring in most denominations today. What if our executives objected to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons being labeled a divisive issue? What if they referred to us as people, not “an issue” or “a divisive issue”—and objected when others used that language? Words can help. We are people who seek to replace eight isolated biblical verses being hurled at us as a weapon with a gospel message of welcome. We are a people who are included in the Beatitudes, John By Howard B. Warren, Jr. Fall 1995 21 3:16, the Great Commandment—where no silent asterisk says, “for heterosexuals only.” I want to say this to denominational executives: So many of you believe what we are saying. As executives, so many of you have opened the gate for us in small and large ways. Hear our plea as God’s people and use your power, privilege, ability, and ecclesial authority to move your denominations to reflect the passion of Jesus who made it a point to let the outsiders in. How far we have come in several decades; yet we sense walls being built, doors slamming shut. Some of this wall building and door slamming comes from your fears as denominational personnel. If this is so for you, do as Jesus would, as Peter would. Open yourself to the Holy Spirit. Become as those early church people touched by the Holy Spirit who are “turning the world upside down” (Acts 17:6, NRSV). Early church folks who sought to open the love of God to all were considered trouble makers (NEV, TEV), much as we are What We Expect from our Denominational Executives 1) Active and open honesty 2) A process that is not closed and filled with fear 3) An attitude that sees us as people, not an “issue” 4) A realization that preaching and administering “Peace, peace, when there is no peace” will self-destruct, developing bitterness which will spread in all directions, including toward themselves 5) Prophetic leadership. —Howard B. Warren, Jr. tions. Let us all use our calling by God to share this Good News that all Christians are “first-class flyers”! ▼ Notes 1Story is used with Prichard’s permission. 2Carl Jung as quoted by Chris Glaser in The Word is Out, (San Francisco: Harper, 1994). Howard B. Warren, Jr. is director of pastoral care at the Damien Center in Indianapolis, Indiana, and an ordained clergyperson in the Presbyterian Church, USA. today when we seek to open the doors of the church. Let’s do it again. Let’s all turn the world upside down. Let’s become true gate keepers for Christ’s Good News that all are welcome at God’s table! Otherwise, in the next decades of the new millennium, we will only reinforce Carl Jung’s observation that “Religion is a defense against the experience of God.”2 We have experienced and been called by God in our diverse sexual orienta22 Open Hands nce upon a time, a millennium or two ago, on a volcanic island that has long since been covered by the waters of the sea, there existed a small nation known as the People of the Eyes. The Eyesonians were distinguished by their large round eyes and by the fact that they valued seeing clearly more than anything else. At the center of their city, on the highest hill overlooking the sea, stood a beautiful temple which had been carved in the shape of an eyeball. The windows and turrets of the temple were gilded in gold and on the pinnacle, which pointed outward and upward over the sea, was the pupil of the eye: a large observatory enclosed in dark, tinted glass. Every day seventeen priests in burgundy robes climbed a long, elliptical staircase to the center of the eye and took their places in the holy seers’ chairs, where they read the clouds that passed before them over the waves. Their readings were recorded in the Scroll of Visions to be read and interpreted by the high priest on Seeing Days. The faithful ascended the hill once every week on these Seeing Days to pay homage to the All Seeing One, the Great Eye, whom they believed to be the giver of all life. They passed first through the Hall of Benefactions to lay down their tithes of silver and gold. Then those who were deemed worthy—those who had clear seeing eyes and thus pure hearts— were admitted into the Visionarium to offer prayers to the All Seeing One and to listen as the high priest read from the Scroll of Visions. Ironically, the persons with the most status and power in this society that valued seeing clearly above all things were those who had just one eye. Only the One-Eyes were permitted to be priests, political leaders, healers, teachers, and merchants. It was believed that they possessed a clarity of vision unequaled by persons who had two eyes or three eyes. Two-eyed people worked in lower level jobs in the fishing fleet, in the marketplace, and as managers of the households of their one-eyed masters. They were given no formal education and could not vote in the elections, but were allowed to enter the temple and to offer their prayers from a roped off section in the back of the Visionarium. Three-eyed persons, who made up only about 10 percent of the population, were considered to be unclean—an abomination in the eye of the deity and unfit to enter the temple on any occasion. Their extra eye was believed to distort their vision, preventing them from seeing clearly. The Two-Eyes lorded over them and forced them to do the most menial and undesirable tasks. They were shunned altogether by the One-Eyes. Marriage was forbidden to them and, according to a strictly enforced law, they were not to look a two-eyed person or a one-eyed person in the eye. Any group of three one-eyed persons or six twoeyed persons could, upon the word of a single witness, have a three-eyed person’s eyes put out for as much as glancing at their better’s face. Hundreds of three-eyed persons had suffered this miserable fate. They made their living by begging outside the gates of the temple on Seeing Days. This cruel three-tiered caste system grew harsher with each passing year. Whenever a three-eyed baby was born— always to two-eyed or one-eyed parents because three-eyed persons were not allowed to give birth—a day of mourning was declared and the child was taken to a sanitarium on the edge of the island to be raised and schooled in the ways of his or her own kind. Some parents resisted this forced parting and managed to keep their three-eyed children for a time, but the authorities always found them out. Then the parents were taken in chains before the high priest to be admonished. “You are not seeing clearly,” he would say. “Our ways are the will of the Great Eye. The All Seeing One’s words are written in the Scroll of Visions. Let all eyes be open to the truth of the way.” So the oppression and the persecution went on for centuries, until one day there came a new vision. A young priest was reading the clouds that day from his perch in the pupil- shaped observatory on the pinnacle of the temple when he happened to see a most unusual formation passing before him. A large, dark cloud, which appeared to have three eyes, was swallowing up two smaller clouds. One of the smaller clouds had one eye and the other had two eyes. After a time, the three clouds separated and floated along together, equal in size, until they disappeared over the horizon. When the young priest reported his most unusual sighting to the other priests, they agreed that the message was unmistakably clear. He was about to record in the Scroll of Visions what he had seen when the high priest intervened, saying, “I cannot deliver a message like that to the people. It is more than they will be able to accept. They will not believe it is from the All Seeing One. Many of them will be angry with us and they will stop coming to the By John Sumwalt Fall 1995 23 people are ready, then we shall share this new vision with them.” So the new vision was not recorded in the Scroll of Visions. On the very next Seeing Day, just as the high priest stood up to read from the scroll, the temple was struck by a bolt of lightning which shattered the glass in the pupil observatory high above the Visionarium where the worshipers were seated. A single shard of the broken glass fell straight down into the center of the Visionarium, piercing the heart of the high priest, and he fell down dead. All of the people, including the sixteen remaining priests, were terrified. No one moved and not a word was spoken for several moments. At last, one of the younger priests, the one who had sighted the startling cloud formation, stepped forward. “Be calm. Have no fear,” he said as he looked out on the frightened worshipers. “We have a new vision to share with you. We had planned to keep it from you until a later time, but now it is clear that we cannot hide what the All Seeing One wishes you to see.” Then he told them exactly what he had seen in the clouds and announced that three-eyed, two-eyed, and one-eyed people should all be considered equal, as it had been declared by the Great Eye. In the same moment, the eyes of the three-eyed blind beggars outside the temple gates were healed and they rushed into the Visionarium, fell on their knees, and began to give thanks to the All Seeing One for their deliverance. From that day on, everyone among the People of the Eyes saw clearly and lived in peace and harmony together. ▼ Source This story is reprinted from Lectionary Stories, Cycle A by permission of CSS Publishing Company, 517 S. Main Street, PO Box 4503, Lima, OH 45802- 4503. John Sumwalt is senior pastor of Wauwatosa Avenue United Methodist Church in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. He and his wife Jo Perr y- Sumwalt, Christian education director at the same church, are co-authors of a new book, Life Stories: A Study in Christian Decision Making (CSS Publishing), 1995. temple on Seeing Days. How will we operate the temple without their tithes of silver and gold? Surely the All Seeing One would not want us to read a vision from the Scroll that would cause our people to turn away.” “But what, then, shall we record in the Scroll of Visions?” one of the youngest priests inquired. “We shall say that there was no new vision this week. I shall simply read one of the old visions as I have often done in the past when no new vision was given. When the time is right, when the 24 Open Hands Session 1: A Question of Diversity Introduced idea that racism, classism, sexism, and heterosexism are about privilege, prejudice, and power. Discussed a provisional definition of heterosexism: “the assumption that all people are heterosexual, that being heterosexual is normal, and that heterosexuality is either the best way or the only way to be, along with the institutional supports for these assumptions.” Discussed what heterosexuality is and suggested a definition: “the attractions that individuals have for persons of the ‘opposite’ or ‘other’ gender, the willingness to act on these attractions under appropriate circumstances, the structures that support the relationships that develop: dating, romance, marriage, family, school, church, law, culture, arts, speech, medicine; and the lifestyles that are associated with these relationships.” Introduced concept of sexual orientation with handout of Klein grid which suggests seven parts to sexual orientation (attractions, sexual behavior, fantasies, emotional and social preferences, self identification, and lifestyle) and allows individuals to rank themselves using Kinsey scale (0=other sex only to 6=same sex only).1 Participants took exercise home to fill out in private and reflect on their own experience. Showed 40-minute excerpt from movie Word is Out.2 Introduced by noting these were people whose lives had been greatly affected by heterosexism. Movie intercuts interviews of twentysix gay men and lesbian women into a story of oppression, hope, and triumph. At one point, group wanted to stop viewing; the oppression was so painful it was hard to watch. Discussed group’s feelings; acknowledged need for ministry. Last March my church discovered a new word! One General Conference petition presented to our administrative board called for regional and national meetings on “Heterosexism and the Mission of the Church.” This petition generated significant discussion because the word heterosexism was new to most people present. Our church affirmed this petition— with the condition that we study heterosexism by the time Annual Conference met in early June. In May, I offered the three one-hour sessions outlined below. Session 2: A Question of Privilege Opened with discussion of previous week’s session. Repeated suggestion that the “isms” have to do with privilege, prejudice, and power. Suggested, through use of article “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” that a set of unconscious and invisible privileges are attached to being white in American culture.3 Read quickly through a handout of twenty-six realizations from article. Challenged group to modify each statement to make it true for heterosexual privilege. For example, “I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time” became “I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my orientation most of the time”—a privilege heterosexual people regularly enjoy. Never made it to all statements. Discussion seemed enlightening. Session 3: A Question of Faith Discussed petitions church had affirmed. Offered overview of the larger church debate on homosexuality. Identified and discussed Warren Church’s present ministry of hospitality. (“A Community of Reconciliation Serving Capitol Hill” is posted on our bulletin board though we are not a Reconciling Congregation.) Closed with excerpt from videotape of musical Home: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal, exploring idea that God’s grace is available to all.4 Diversity, Privilege, and Faith: Studying Connections By Ben Roe Fall 1995 25 Participant Reactions Jane Riecke (new pastor): “Part of the obstacle was the amount of time we needed just on the definition of heterosexism. It reminded me of talk when I was growing up about just what prejudice was.” Kate Rose: “We shouldn’t run away from the discomfort others have; it’s OK just to let them be uncomfortable. We need to treat each other with gentleness in the midst of the discomfort.” David Dunn: “We need to learn how to relax with our anxieties so they don’t blow us into our minds but deeper into our hearts. …The exercise on racism and heterosexism transformed the dialog by recasting the discussion, taking it out of the realm of gender into an area equally difficult but a bit more comfortable.” Next time I would ✚offer at least four sessions. ✚replace the videos with real people if possible. As it was, three or four participants shared some of their gay/ lesbian-related experiences. ✚choose a room more conducive to the intensity of the subject than our large, open Adult Forum space. ✚plan a biblical study to focus on hospitality, diversity, and ministry, as well as on biblical interpretation of passages commonly associated with homosexuality. ▼ Notes 1Fritz Klein, Barry Sepekoff, and Timothy Wolf, “Sexual Orientation: A Multi-Variable Dynamic Process” in Two Lives to Lead: Bisexuality in Men and Women (New York: Harrington Park Press, 1985). 2Video rental stores with a gay clientele may carry it. 3Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” Peace and Freedom (July/August, 1989), pp. 10-12. 4Videotape is quite usable with other denominations. See p. 32. Ben Roe is a United Methodist clergyman living in Denver. Sustaining the Spirit A Litany for Freedom By Randy Miller Soloist: “God of our weary years”— People: How long shall we wait, O God, and when shall we be free? Leader: We are your people, scarred by prejudice and disfigured by privilege, Seemingly forgotten by all save Jesus. People: When shall we be free? Soloist: “God of our silent tears”— Leader: Trapped in closets not of our own making Caught in ghettos not of our choice Our silent tears still flow, O God; Our cries rise up to you. People: We are weary, bleeding, bruised, and tired, Tempted to lay down our burdens and softly steal ‘way home. Soloist: “Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way”— Leader: And lovingly called us yours, And sweetly whispered our names: People: Not oppressor and oppressed but “wholly redeemed” Not privileged and deprived but “child of God” Not master and slave, but “disciple of Christ.” Soloist: “Lest our feet stray from the places our God where we met thee. Lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world we forget thee.” Leader: Locked in power struggles we cannot escape Blindly turning privileges to our advantage. People: Our daily fears enslave us, O God When shall we be free? Soloist: “Shadowed beneath thy hand, May we forever stand”— Leader: And not only stand, O God, but dance— For your daughters have visioned it, And your sons have dreamed it. People: Someday we all shall be free! Soloist: “True to our God, true to our native land.” Leader: And to your New Earth, O God. People: True to ourselves as you have seen us. Leader: True to the vision of a brighter day to come. All: Amen. Source Solo is excerpted from verse 3 of “Lift Every Voice and Sing.” Full text and music can be found in Songs of Zion (Nashville: Abingdon, 1981). Spoken parts are adapted from a litany originally published in Open Hands in Spring 1987. It may be reprinted for local worship events with full credits attached. 26 Open Hands Editorial One More Word If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 On Valuing Differences Valuing human differences is a major aspect of the ministries of our growing ecumenical welcoming church movement. Within the movement, more and more of us identify our call to Christian discipleship as a call to embrace all of God’s people because of race or ethnicity, gender, orientation, age, ability, class, and religious belief. Not “regardless of...” Not “in spite of...” But “because of...”! We are not asking each other as Christians to “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” We are asking sisters and brothers in Christ to “welcome and affirm the presence of les/bi/gay persons of faith” among us. We are not asking for “tolerance of gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons” as second-class church members with partial rights and privileges. We are inviting all persons into communion, membership, and ministry with full rights and privileges. We are not asking persons to hide or lie about their identities—or to leave our presence—in order “keep the church from splitting.” We are inviting each other to engage in a hard process of reconciling our conflicts and differences while inviting everyone to the table. Beyond these steps, however, the welcoming church movement is also challenging each of us, whatever our personal beliefs, to value all persons equally as beloved daughters and sons of God. To value someone because of their differences is very different from tolerating them or even accepting them into “our circle.” To truly value differences is to recognize each person’s gifts and graces and to claim joyfully the richness that those different gifts and graces bring into the human circle. To truly value human differences is to seek out various people for their unique experiences and insights, knowing that without them we ourselves remain less than whole. To truly value human differences is to treat each person as a beloved daughter or son of God—and a beloved friend of our own! If we are to truly begin to value human differences, we will need to do our homework on the issues and realities of oppression in our society and in our church, for oppressive systems systematically devalue some persons and overvalue others based on their race or ethnicity, or their age, ability, gender, class, or orientation. We will need to explore such questions as: How does oppression really “work” in our society? How do the dynamics of privilege feed the destructive forces of prejudice. Why aren’t human differences valued equally? Who decides? How does privilege play into a devaluing of some human beings and an over-valuing of others? How do we either actively oppress others or aid and abet a society and church to continue its oppressive ways? How do our church traditions and personal beliefs contribute to on-going oppression? (This issue of Open Hands offers a beginning exploration of these questions and concerns.) To continue a ministry of valuing differences among God’s people, however, requires more than a focus on the crucial problems of prejudice, privilege, and oppression. It also requires a vision of God’s people working, playing, praying, singing, crying, and weaving its way into holy community. And it requires processes that will help move us from a society and church that are stuck in the dynamics of privilege and prejudice toward the vision of God’s community of persons who value differences. (The winter issue of Open Hands will focus on this vision and process). Working with God toward God’s wild and wonderful, allinclusive commonwealth involves committing ourselves to the nitty-gritty daily work of naming and untangling prejudice and privilege. It also calls us to dismantle oppressive systems and processes wherever and whenever we encounter them. Finally, it requires us to weave or reweave a glorious human fabric of the communion of all God’s beloved people who bring unique and valuable gifts to the table...because of their race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, age, ability, class, and religious beliefs. What a weaving that will be! Issue Year Working Title Spring 1996 Living with/Learning from Conflict Summer 1996 Airing Out Closets: Individual, Congregational, Denominational Fall 1996 Gender/Transgender Issues and Stories Winter 1997 Welcoming Voices in the Wilderness Spring 1997 Marriage: Civil and Sacred Issues Summer 1997 Baptism & Communion: The Rites of the Right to Be Here Call for articles for Fall 1995 27 ▼?▼?▼? Quotes We Wanted to Share on Prejudice “It is an affront...to categorize a segment of the human family for the sole purpose of exclusion.” —Martin Deppe, pastor of Irving Park United Methodist Church (RCP), Chicago, Illinois From Shalom to You, Nov-Dec. 1994, p. 3. “We as Black people ought to reach out to people and say, ‘I don’t care who you are; I know what it’s like to be cast out.’ If we’re a church of love, we should love everybody!” —Cecil Williams, pastor of 3,000-member Glide Memorial United Methodist Church, San Francisco, speaking to a March 1994 meeting of Black Methodists for Church Renewal. From The United Methodist Newscope, April 8, 1994, p. 1. Why is it that... ...people often speak of the traditional clothing of persons from other nations as “costumes”? Clothes are clothes. Setting up that which we are particularly familiar with as the generic “clothes”—the universal definition of clothes—is arrogant to say the least. ...only European music is marketed as classical music? Why is Nigerian and Bolivian music labeled folkloric? Why isn’t there such a thing as Nigerian classical music or Bolivian classical music? Who gets to define this? ...some still think it awkward and offensive as a white person to call attention to someone else’s race or ethnic origins? Is it assumed that the person of color doesn’t know he or she is a person of color? Come on, now! —From the Racial Justice Newsletter, Racial Justice Working Group, Prophetic Justice Unit, NCC of Christ (as found in Wheadon UMC newsletter). On Images of God Dear Elizabeth Andrew, I read your beautiful article, “My-God-Who-Is-Like-a-River” in the Spring 1995 issue. I wanted to let you know that I thought your writing was wonderfully clear and powerfully moving. I grew up along the Delaware River in the Pocono Mountains and felt the joy of nature as a boy. My favorite place to be is the cool, clear pool of water and waterfall created by a small (unnamed) stream following through the mountain. It is there that I experience the renewal of God. The God I experienced in my early church was a punishing God, but Jesus was the warm, accepting Being I urgently needed for comforting. I have since been able to see God as nurturing also. Comments & Letters My worshiping community is a pro-lesbian/gay, feminist house church where we are continuing to explore images of God. As you stated, it is a continuous personal and collective journey of faith. May God bless all of our journeys. Thank you for sharing yours. —Michael Siptroth, Seattle, Washington On our 10th Anniversary Issue “What a great issue! I got it today and read it cover to cover!” “I’m a fairly new reader and it was great to read about how the magazine got started.” “A wonderful issue. The magazine just keeps getting better and better!” “Loved the ‘family album’ look of the summer issue!” “Even though I knew most of the magazine’s history, I found it very interesting.” “Photos and comments from early readers were very inspiring!” “Loved all the photos!” “It’s great. I’m a newer subscriber and I really appreciate the history of the magazine. I didn’t know a lot of it.” “What an excellent issue—every bit of it! I took it to work the morning I got it and read it cover to cover!” On our Magazine Dear Friends, Enclosed is my renewal of subscription for Open Hands. Your magazine is a comforting word for the fevered brow—and that image is good even when the Midwest isn’t being fried by extremely high summer temperatures and humidity! Here in the very conservative state of Indiana there is ecclesial sensitivity to gay and lesbian Christians, but, like everywhere, there also is an enormous amount of hostility and ambiguity, ambivalence, and avoidance. While hostility is a constant, perhaps the worst time of it is in the places where “acceptance” or “tolerance” is ambiguous, ambivalent, and thinly-veiled avoidance. I feel worn, depleted, fatigued by the difficulties of wrestling with issues in such a half-light. While I remain the member of a local associated church’s panel on peace and justice education, I have been so exhausted by the tasks that I’ve virtually stopped attending and contributing to that group. And there’s my particular challenge. I am aware that I lack an immediate and local support system of gay people who are invested and active in church. Efforts to find support systems haven’t been fruitful. I try not to take it personally. So, for me, Open Hands is utilized for meditation and prayer, for power and energizing faith of those who witness therein— and I save every issue. Thank you. —Robert M. Zahrt, Fort Wayne, Indiana Readers Invited to Respond Send us your comments on past themes and articles or your concerns about particular struggles in the welcoming church community. Write a short personal reflection piece on one of the themes for upcoming issues (see box on page 26). Send to Editor, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641. Fax: 312/736-5475. What Do You Think? 28 Open Hands Selected Resources Hawley, John Stratton. Fundamentalism and Gender. New York: Oxford Univ. Press, 1994. Examines “connection between fundamentalism and gender” in a global perspective through case studies on American Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and the New Religions of Japan. A must read book! hooks, bell. Yearning: race, gender, and cultural politics. Boston: South End, 1990. Warns that the current infatuation with words like difference or Other detaches us from real struggles of racism, sexism, and cultural imperialism more appropriately described by words like oppression, dominance, exploitation. (p. 51) Jung, Patricia Beattie and Ralph F. Smith. Heterosexism: An Ethical Challenge. New York: SUNY Press, 1993. Explores and dismisses the prevailing sexual ethic. Examines how heterosexism both “grows out of and supports” this ethic. Lerner, Gerda. The Creation of Patriarchy. Oxford: Oxford Univ. Press, 1986. Provides a “grand historical framework...about women’s place in the world” and “origins of the collective dominance of women by men”—based on serious historical research reaching back to pre-biblical times. Macdonald, Barbara and Cynthia Rich. Look Me In the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism. Exp. ed. San Francisco: Spinsters, 1991. Mystery writer Carolyn Heilbrun writes of this book: “Even for those not yet on the edge of old age, this voice must be heard.” Ratti, Rakesh, ed. A Lotus of Another Color: An Unfolding of the South Asian Gay and Lesbian Experience. Boston: Alyson, 1993. Through essays and poetry, gay men and lesbians from Bhutan, Bangladesh, India, the Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka tell of coming out and challenging prejudice from both South Asian and gay cultures. Riggs, Marcia Y. Awake, Arise & Act: A Womanist Call for Black Liberation. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Uses a womanist approach based on Beverly Harrison’s “sociohistorical ethical method”; explores interconnections of race, gender, and class, moving reader away from realities of class competition toward images of communal liberation. Segrest, Mab. Memoir of a Race Traitor. Boston: South End, 1994. Through stories of her journey, both intimate and political, a southern white lesbian weaves realities of racism, sexism, heterosexism, and classism. West, Cornel. Race Matters. Boston: Beacon, 1993. Goes beyond liberal and conservative rhetoric of most race discussions; tackles “some of today’s most urgent issues for black Americans,” breaking “taboos of silence in the black community” while keeping readers accountable to realities of race in America. FOR CHILDREN Every Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Prejudice and Discrimination. Grades 2-5. “Through specific and realistic examples, children learn about opinions—how they’re formed and how they impact prejudice and discrimination.” (catalog) Order from American Guidance Service. 1-800-328-2560. ON PREJUDICE, POWER, AND PRIVILEGE Anzaldua, Gloria, ed. Making Face, Making Soul: Creative and Critical Perspectives by Women of Color. San Francisco: Aunt Lute, 1990. Poems, short stories, and essays addressing racism, silencing techniques of white people, and alliances. Amott, Teresa L. and Julie A. Matthaei. Race, Gender & Work: A Multicultural Economic History of Women in the United States. Boston: South End, 1991. Outlines diversity of women’s work contributions (paid and unpaid) to U.S. economic history; explores processes of exploitation and oppression; highlights transformations in gender, racial-ethnic, and class hierarchies accompanying capitalist economic expansion. Baird, Robert M. and Stuart E. Rosenbaum, eds. Bigotry, Prejudice and Hatred: Definitions, Causes & Solutions. Buffalo: Prometheus, 1992. See Elliot Aronson’s “Causes of Prejudice” and Paula Rothenberg’s chapter on implications of difference for progressive work in 1990s. Explores themes using race, gender, and orientation. Bulkin, Elly; Minnie Bruce Pratt; and Barbara Smith. Yours in Struggle: Three Feminist Perspectives on Anti-Semitism and Racism. Reissued ed. Ithaca: Firebrand, 1988. Ashkenazi Jew, white Christian-raised southerner, and Afro-American women speak for themselves. Eiesland, Nancy L. The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability. Nashville: Abingdon, 1994. Proposes that we celebrate the disabled God (Christ) in Eucharist. Frankenberg, Ruth. The Social Construction of Whiteness: White Women, Race Matters. Minneapolis: Univ. of Minnesota Press, 1993. Examines results of life history interviews with white women; discusses ways race privilege affects white women; explores how privilege works in the larger social structure. Frye, Marilyn. The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory. Trumansburg, New York: Crossing, 1983. A feminist classic. Explores realities of oppression, sexism, “the problem that has no name,” power, being white, and gay male supremacy. Gioseffi, Daniela, ed. On Prejudice: A Global Perspective. New York: Anchor, 1993. Explores “fundamental nature and expression of human prejudice from global and historical perspectives” as expressed in racism, ethnocentrism, and environmental racism. Also helpful to those addressing homophobia. Fall 1995 29 OPEN AND AFFIRMING Movement News Introducing our New Welcoming Churches We welcome these six new churches to our growing movement. Christ Congregational UCC Silver Spring, Maryland Started by the Congregational Christian Church, this 700- member faith community is now celebrating fifty years of ministry. Silver Spring is located in the lower eastern part of Montgomery County which is experiencing rapid urbanization. The area around the church is growing in ethnic diversity. Efforts to embrace diversity are not new to the church, however. It was the first church in the area to integrate racially in the 1950s and has been a leader in developing open housing ordinances and setting up services for the homeless. The congregation has also participated in exchange/work programs with Russia and Latin America. It continues to explore ways to publicize and implement its ONA commitment. Fremont Congregational Church Fremont, California Located in the San Francisco Bay area, this 120-member church continues its long history of social justice and mission, including support of a local homeless shelter and outreach to those living with AIDS. It was the first congregation in the area to offer space in its building for AIDS ministry. The children’s summer service project provided food, cards, and other greetings to thirty AIDS clients. The church is also building relationships through monthly intergenerational worship services. Hingham Congregational Church Hingham, Massachusetts This suburban congregation of 450 members strives to create a strong sense of community and to reach out in mission and witness. Its active Youth Work Camp sent young people to Kentucky this year. In 1996, the program’s tenth year, participants will travel to Montana. The church also supports a children’s hospital in Haiti. In keeping with its ONA commitment and its desire to be welcoming to a wide range of people, the congregation will be discussing what it is like “to be the WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. other” and wants to continue to explore the place of politics in the church and the meaning of “reconciliation.” The First Church in Oberlin Oberlin, Ohio Steeped in a tradition of advocacy for the rights of women and minorities, this small college town church of 500 members is challenged to carry on that heritage as it moves into the 21st century. It expressed that commitment recently by offering its facilities for a student production of “Bent,” a drama about gay men in the Nazi camps. The church has just funded the first Heifer Project in South Africa which will provide cows for families in the improverished community of Fort Beaufort. For the past few years, First Church has led its Association in giving for Our Church’s Wider Mission. Malibu United Methodist Church Malibu, California Located across the street from the beach, this church of 95 members is known as the “small church with the big heart.” The congregation is comprised of young families with many children and youth. The worship style is informal and innovative, involving frequent intergenerational activities. Malibu’s RC decision in June was the culmination of two years of education by the RC Committee which will continue its educational efforts as the congregation learns to live out its RC commitment. Morningside United Methodist Church Salem, Oregon Located in a suburban residential neighborhood of Salem, Morningside was founded forty years ago. Its 500 members are largely middle-class professionals. Two Sunday worship experiences are offered—one contemporary and one more traditional. The congregation has long expressed concerns for peace and justice through its soup kitchen ministry and the Salem Outreach Shelter. This summer nineteen youth and adults traveled to Honduras to work in a children’s nutrition center and to build homes. The congregation is beginning to explore ways to let the larger community know of their RC decision and their openness to gay and lesbian persons. RECONCILING 30 Open Hands RCP Calls on UMC to “Open the Doors” The Reconciling Congregation Program has launched a campaign to call on the April 1996 General Conference of The United Methodist Church to Open the Doors. Recognizing that past General Conferences have sought to pronounce moral judgment upon homosexuality, Reconciling Congregations are calling on the church to offer words of welcome and hospitality to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families and friends. The goals of the Open the Doors campaign are: 1) 9,600 persons in 1996 to publicly declare themselves as “Reconciling United Methodists” and 2) General Conference to include “sexual orientation” in its nondiscrimination policies for membership in local churches and other church bodies. Regional training and planning events—“Knock-Ins”—are being held in six cities to develop Open the Doors plans for local churches and annual conferences. Knock-In dates and cities are; October 14 in Chicago and Denver; October 21 in Dallas and New York; October 28 in Atlanta and San Francisco. To enroll as a Reconciling United Methodist or to find out how you can be part of the Open the Doors campaign, contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. New ONA Program Committee Formed With 170 United Church of Christ congregations now listed as Open and Affirming, the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns Council has approved a new structure, the ONA Program Committee, to be added to the existing ONA leadership with the intent of further strengthening ONA outreach in the UCC. This new committee was the recommendation of the ONA Structure Committee after over a year of planning. It will be made up of five volunteer Program Associates who will work with ONA issues in the following areas: UCC Conferences, UCC Associations, Higher Education, Ecumenical Relations, and Resource Development. Each Program Associate will work directly with the ONA Coordinator and consult as necessary with the four-member ONA Advisory Committee which was formed in 1992 to advise the Coordinator. “The Coalition views this new leadership structure as an exciting experiment in widening the ONA witness throughout our denomination! We’ll get this up and running and then be willing to make adjustments as we go along. Our goal is to make the ONA Program increasingly effective and responsive to the needs of our churches and other bodies interested in the ONA process,” said Ann B. Day, ONA Program Coordinator. The ONA Advisory Committee will appoint the Program Associates. Persons interested in more information about the Program Associates positions may write to: ONA-UCCL/GC, PO Box 403, Holden, MA 01520. W&A Baptists Join Open Hands Venture The council of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (W&A) voted in September to join in the ecumenical publishing venture of Open Hands. There are currently twentyseven W&A congregations, four other organizations, and approximately fifty W&A individuals. W&A Baptists join the Reconciling Congregation Program, (United Methodist founding group), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Reconciled in Christ program (ELCA), and Open and Affirming program (United Church of Christ). Watch for an American Baptist presence starting with the winter 1996 issue of Open Hands! For more information, contact Brenda Moulton, Association Coordinator, P.O. Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. Ecumenical Ties Celebrated The Open Hands Advisory Committee and national program leaders, representing seven denominational welcoming programs, held their joint annual meeting on September 16-17. Meeting in the new national office space of the Reconciling Congregation Program in Chicago, the two groups evaluated the magazine, planned new themes, and thoroughly enjoyed engaging in theological discussion on an ecumenical basis. In a separate meeting, the national coordinators celebrated the continued growth of each of our programs and reviewed plans to develop an ecumenical curriculum for adult study of selected biblical passages and welcoming themes. Co-producers include the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, the O&A Ministries Program of GLAD Alliance, the ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, and the Reconciling Congregation Program. Other groups are also considering joining in this ecumenical project. “Dancing at the Wall” Draws Ninety A two-day event, Dancing at the Wall: Re-Imagining the Church, was recently sponsored by the Church of the Brethren Woman’s Caucus and the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC). Held in Charlotte, North Carolina, the event was designed as a liturgy of reflection and celebration. Participants explored the theme through drama, art, biblical and theological reflection, music, dance, and ritual. Two powerful visual images, a wall of bricks and a tapestry woven during the conference, graphically symbolized the tension between the pain of exclusion and the joy of faith. Prior to the 1996 Church of the Brethren Annual Conference in Cincinnati, the BMC Supportive Congregations Network will sponsor an event on the theme “Dancing at the Table: Re-imagining the Church.” For more information, contact Jim Sauder, BMC Coordinator, at 612/305-0315. Worship I & II (Thurs. & Fri.) ...........................$25 Worship III & IV (Sat. & Sun.) .........................$25 Forums I & II (Fri. & Sat a.m.) ........................$25 Forum III (Fri. p.m.) .........................................$25 Forum IV (Sun. a.m.) ......................................$25 Biblical Reflections (Fri., Sat., Sun.)...............$25 Saturday Night Celebration ............................$25 (Recognition of leaders & HOME) Order RCP Convocation Videos Now! SPECIAL - ALL 7 TAPES @ $150 Order from: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 VISA/MASTERCARD possible. Call 312/736-5526. The fourth national Convocation of the Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist), meeting from July 13-16 on the Augsburg College campus in Minneapolis, drew 375 persons from across the United States, along with representatives from England, Australia, and Canada. FAVORITE PASTTIME: Browsing and buying resources1 Fourth National RCP Convocation Is a Huge Success! Our paths may diverge—but they’ll finally merge When we get to the Promised Land. Pat Nunn, Beaver Memorial UMC, Lewisburg, Pennsylvania From poem, “In the Wilderness,” written at convocation DAILY BIBLE STUDY: Bishop Roy Sano (Los Angeles Area) relaxes after his daily presentation.1 Fall 1995 31 STRONG YOUTH PRESENCE: Youth, with leaders Melany Burrill (left) and Chip Aldridge (right), share some of their activities and learnings. Prior to the Convocation, 45 youth, students, and young adults gathered in a pioneering rally to address reconciling ministries in school settings.1 THE CALL: During opening worship, leaders call for witnesses from west, east, south, and north. Participants from those regions stand as candles brought from home churches are lit.1 PROMINENT UNITED METHODIST ‘COMES OUT’: The Reverend Jeanne Audrey Powers, Associate General Secretary of the General Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns, UMC, preaches on the resistance of the midwives in Exodus. Powers, drawing media attention, invited the UMC to engage with her over the next year about her public declaration of being a life-long lesbian.1 LOCAL TOURS: Members of Twin Cities RCs provide gracious hospitality.2 I cried, feeling sad and replenished. I laughed more than I have in months. I felt at home more fully than perhaps ever before. Here were people who honored all of me—gay and Christian. —David Shallenberger, Euclid Avenue UMC, Oak Park, Illinois ...it’s not what I take home, but what I leave here—fear and a bit of ignorance and a bunch of broken stereotypes... — Tiffany Taylor, Wesley Club, Seattle, Washington I came here thinking I would gather some helpful information for my congregation, meet some interesting people, then go home. I did not expect such a profoundly moving experience...I knew the cause was great, but I did not realize how urgent it was... —Danielle Massey, Ballardvale United Church, Andover, Massachusetts 1Photos by Nancy Carter 2Photo by Howard Johnson A PARABLE OF GOD’S GRACE: HOME: A Parable of Beatrice and Neal, written and produced by Tim McGinley and James Giessler, was a Saturday night highlight!1 OPEN THE DOORS: RCP launches an enthusiastic witness to the 1996 General Conference.1 FAVORITE T-SHIRT: Self-avowed practicing United Methodist1 BOUND for the PROMISED LAND 32 Open Hands Send to: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 1@ 2 or More @ # Ordered Total Open Hands Gift Subscription (Reg. $20) $18 $15 ea. ________ $ ________ HOME CDs (Reg. $15) $12 $10 ea. ________ $ ________ HOME audiocassettes (Reg. $10) $9 $7.50 ea. ________ $ ________ Shipping charge for HOME CDs and/or cassettes $3 total $ ________ Total $ ________ Discount Prices for Christmas! Discount offer expires December 31, 1995 Can this be home— for everyone who needs a place? Home—a place where all can share in grace? —from finale A stirring musical drama which offers the church as “home” for gays and lesbians An Inspirational—and funny— portrayal of struggle and faith HOME: A Parable of Beatrice and Neal My Name _________________________________________________ Address ___________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________ Daytime Phone (_____) ________________ Enclosed is my payment of $________ OR Charge $ _________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (circle one) # ___________________________________ Expiration ___/___ Signature _________________________________________________ A gift card in your name will be sent to these persons unless you check here ❑ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Send gift subscriptions to: Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Open Hands Get all of your friends and church colleagues to read this unique ecumenical magazine! Explores lesbian and gay concerns in the church Offers substantive and practical helps for churches’ welcoming, affirming, and reconciling ministries Give special gifts this Christmas! Put HOME and Open Hands under the tree! Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No. 2 - Valuing Difference, Part 1: Untangling Prejudice & Privilege https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/810d46726c4046517f87681810c5b38b.pdf 75bd8d4653a5c2c1ab9b8318067df020 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Valuing Differences Part 2 Weaving Community from Diversity Vol. 11 No. 3 Winter 1996 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American) the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 3 Winter 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality SETTING OUR LOOMS FOR DIFFERENCE Focus on Diversity 4 Dealing with Diversity 5 TOINETTE M. EUGENE Creating community from diversity begins with each of us as we offer our confessions, our convictions, and our commitments. Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way? A Poem 9 GAYE JAYNESDAUGHTER Difference—negative or positive—lies in the eye of the beholder. Crumbs from the Master’s Table 10 PAUL W. EGERTSON Inclusion seems good to the Holy Spirit! Does it seem good to us? The Caring Shepherd: A Parable for Children 13 MARGARET LIRONES Focusing on the shepherd’s actions rather than on the lost sheep highlights Jesus’ real message. DIVINE WEAVING IN PROGRESS Homosexuality in the Evangelical Experience 14 HOWARD H. BESS When dramatic conversion doesn’t work, then what? Valuing Differences, Part 2 Weaving Community from Diversity Winter 1996 3 ONE MORE SELECTED MOVEMENT WELCOMING WORD RESOURCES NEWS CHURCHES LIST 24 25 26 29 Next issue: Living with/Learning from Conflict All Things to all People 16 CORNELIUS KANHAI Becoming a welcoming congregation must not lead us into arrogance. Valuing Dif ferences: A Process of Experience 18 DEEANNA P. MERZ WITH AL DUVALL Learnings gained from local congregation lead to further steps in nurturing community. Transformation in Front of our Own Eyes! 20 DODY S. MATTHIAS Conference staff and cabinet members explore privilege and engage in steps of accountability. Valuing Dif ferences: Study Ideas 21 MARY JO OSTERMAN WITH DODY S. MATTHIAS Want to study this two-part series on Valuing Differences? Here are three activities. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Weaving Diversity and Unity: A Liturgy 22 CATHY ANN BEATY Celebrate unity in diversity through a liturgy. Weave: A Song 23 ROSEMARY CROW Sing your commitment to weaving Christian community. PICTORIAL: ONA Exultation p. 28 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Chris Wild Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Program (ELCA) 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA)) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC 4 Open Hands Our lives are enhanced and enlivened by the diversity of creation (not human creation alone). Let’s explore and celebrate the rainbow of colors and plethora of shapes that make it all interesting! Let’s seek to open up the ways in which we delude ourselves for the sake of “safety” and bland - ness. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 Welcoming congregations weave a multiplicity of colors, textures, shapes, cultural identities, ages, genders, and orientations into a human tapestry full of difference. With our looms set for diversity rather than for sameness, we are creating Christian community. As we gather up diverse fibers of humanity and weave them into a whole, we weave the body of Christ— the holy people of God. —Editor Diversity is something that is seen, touched, heard. When we meet it, we can turn and run in fear or we can greet it and embrace it. Our welcoming congregations embody diversity; yet to be whole and alive, we still need to celebrate this diversity actively and intentionally. —Thoughts of the Open Hands Advisory Committee as they helped shape this theme for the magazine. FOCUS ON DIVERSITY SETTING OUR LOOMS FOR DIFFERENCE Winter 1996 5 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 To deal with diversity is to accept an open invitation to be as inclusive as possible in developing welcoming and reconciling communities of faith. To deal with diversity is to enter into covenantal choices that can bind us together as congregations whose confessions, convictions, and commitments honor the differences which enhance us as uniquely Christian human beings. “Dealing with diversity” is a lifestyle that renews us in ways that lift us out of the status quo and into the sacred spaces where we know ourselves to be transformed and transforming in an era which desperately needs conversion and change. Confessions True confessions are good for the soul. They are vitally important for the religious community as we reclaim identity and integrity in an era when complicity and conspiracy are symbolic of the sickness and sinfulness of our American society. What we seem to have lost is something as simple as respect— for each other, for the earth, and for the kind of values that could hold us together. Most of the social, economic, and political issues we now face have a spiritual core. Rapidly changing demographics and our ingrained habits of racism, sexism, homophobia, and classism will create increasing cultural polarization unless we begin to confess our common humanity and equality as children of God. The insatiable momentum of our consumerism will ultimately poison both our environment and our hearts unless we learn to confess and to reclaim our right relationship to the earth, its diverse cultures and peoples, and its abundance. Because I deal and struggle with diversity in painful and poignant ways every day of my life—not because I want to but because I have to— I need to begin by confessing who I am as well as who I want to be. I confess that my significant academic degrees were received, and my dissertation was written, in the School of Hard Knocks. As Zora Neale Hurston (premier African American anthropologist and “rumored to be lesbian” author in the literary era of the Harlem Renaissance) would say, “Ah done been in sorrow’s kitchen and ah licked de pots clean.”1 How many of us can confess to this? Can we say with conviction that we know the taste of disappointment, despair, deprivation delivered only and intentionally because of religious denomination, race, class, gender, or sexual orientation? Can we taste it? Can we smell it? Can we feel it? Can we choose to be in solidarity with it? That means taking it up— the way one reverently picks up a fallen flag...or takes up an old rugged cross. I confess that even saying this makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I feel more than a little bit like one of the old ladies of my home church, a black Roman Catholic Church in Oakland, California. Whenever I go home to preach, I greet the Mothers of the Church, those wizened and wise old women who have grown down and smaller with the passing of the years because they have borne the heat and the burden of the day. I look forward to an exchange with Mother Camille who always says to me, “Why, Chil’, Girl, how you all doin’?” and I say, “Well—just fine, Mother Camille. And how ‘bout you?” And she looks me in the eye, and she says with a straight face, “Why, Baby, I’m somewhere between ‘Lord, Have Mercy!’ and ‘Thank You, Jesus!’” As I seek to say something about “Dealing with Diversity,” the oppressions and ideologies of dominance, the abuse of power, privilege, and the abuse of persons which universally occurs within the interstices of sexism and heterosexism, of racism and classism, of rampant consumerism and capitalism, I confess that I am somewhere closer to “Lord, Have Mercy” than I am to “Thank You, Jesus.” I need to confess that I am black and that I am also by birth and academic training and denominational tradition, a western Christian. Because of that, I have inherited—and sometimes even handed on like bread gone stale—the pernicious dualism that western Christianity has held sacred between sex and God, between sexuality and spirituality, body and spirit, pleasure and goodness. By literally splitting us in two, the dominant ideology of western Christian culture has rendered us flattened facsimiles of fully human beings. We have been stripped— spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually— of our capacities to delight in ourselves, one another, the creation, and its holy wellsprings. Lord, have mercy! I confess that I am a self-avowed Catholic Christian, a black, lesbian woman, made in the image and likeness of a mighty good God. I confess that because of who I am and whose I am, like Zora, I am no longer concerned about whether some folk count me “out” or “in” the official ranks of the church or the academy, or of polite or politically correct seminary faculty, or within the fold of respected civic society. My primary interest, spiritually and intellectually, is in empowering people— beginning with myself— to live a life that is characterized by justice/love, in mutuality, in right relationship.2 Thank you, Jesus! In dealing with diversity, in reaching for the reconciliation of God’s people, I confess that I must be accountable with and to those others who are also committed to justice/love for all. I may not always live out this value evenly or very well. Most of us do not. But the commitment is honest and strong. The promise that draws me to people who seek justice/love is that they will remind me that, even when I believe I am being more ➟ DEALING WITH DIVERSITY: Confessions, Convictions, and Commitments By Toinette M. Eugene 6 Open Hands so inclusive in my work, inadvertently someone is usually being left out because of my limitations. To that extent, I am helping hold unjust power in place even in my honest outpourings for justice/ love. I confess that I need to be more inclusive still. Lord, have mercy! Finally, I confess that I am able to stand more closely in solidarity with those whose radical politics and spirituality I have come to trust: those who know that we meet the Sacred in relation to one another and who understand that any power that we or others use in ways that are not mutually empowering is abusive. I look to such radical women and men, of whatever color, religion, class, sexual preference or orientation, to confirm in me a joyful commitment to live responsibly in this world. Thank you, Jesus! Dealing with diversity means more than just welcoming or recruiting people of color. It means dealing with and honoring human differences, confronting the racism, classism, elitism, and liturgical literalism that limits our pro-action and reaction. It means dealing with whatever limits our ability to listen longer than we claim our right to speak. It requires the confession that “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, Oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer!” Lord, have mercy! Community Query 1. What do we need to confess? Convictions Because of my confessions, I stand convicted, not as a criminal, but by the love of God for me and for all who struggle to deal with diversity, to honor diversity, to utilize diversity as a way to enter joyfully and completely into the kindom of God. To be convicted is to be convinced, to be sure, to know that the truth (though it may make us weary) can also set us free (Jn 8:32)! I have three convictions about the ways members of different races, ages, classes—people who are also gay, lesbian, and bisexual— can lead us in our struggles to deal with diversity as we seek mutuality, long for equality, and work for justice/love. Conviction 1: Sexuality is relative. It is more than coincidence that the gay, lesbian, and bisexual liberation movement is occurring in a time and culture which is passing from a scientific myth of Newtonian absoluteness to that of Einsteinian relativity. There is a relativity about sexuality that is not well served by those who, like Newton, feel they can confidently know the unbending “laws” of nature. Plato (working out of a Newtonian world view) said that homosexuality was unnatural because animals “didn’t do it.” However, Plato did not know what animals naturally do and not do sexually. Two prophetic gifts from the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community will be to teach humility to those who presume to know exactly what is and is not “natural” and to teach that what is natural varies with different groups, cultures, racial/ethnic values, and traditions. Sameness does not necessarily bring about solidarity or satisfactory solutions. Members of different races, ages, classes— people who are also gay, lesbian, and bisexual— can lead us in our struggles to deal with diversity As Alfred North Whitehead (working out of an Einsteinian world view) put it, “the laws of nature develop together with societies which constitute an epoch.” 3 Part of the Einsteinian epoch we are moving into will be an acceptance of the relativity of sexual lifestyles. With this acceptance, a new awareness will occur: The essence of human sexuality is in establishing faithful relationships and in the quality of right relationships, not in absolutist laws and principles a la Newton. Meister Eckhart (the medieval mystic) taught that “relation is the essence of a thing.”4 This relational spirituality corresponds beautifully with Einstein’s teaching on the scientific theory of relativity. Conviction 2: Faith is built on right relationships, not self-righteous institutions. Because lesbians, gay men, and bisexual persons have not been widely welcomed into ecclesiastical institutions, those who have remained have had to look beyond institutions for answers to our questions of faith: What matters? Does anything matter? A well of creativity can be tapped from persons who have learned to live marginally in institutions. They could be a powerful force in revitalizing very stolid institutions. Conviction 3: Difference is a basis for creativity. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons stand as witnesses to how people can indeed be creatively different and equal. As minority people, (the “Poor of Yahweh,” known in the Old Testament as “anawim”5), they have the potential to be more creative because they have touched nothingness in their being emptied and because they have been made painfully aware of their being different. The recovery of the body as spirit and the reclaiming of a more sensual spirituality and a less product-oriented love are particular gifts of the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community to the DIVERSITY FORUM: Toinette Eugene raises questions about confessions, convictions, and commitment at RCP Convocation, July 1995. Photo: Nancy Carter Winter 1996 7 church at large. By not splitting body and soul and by not equating sexuality exclusively with procreation (as Augustine did), they allow for the energies of the Spirit to flow once again. They overcome dualisms that neither Jesus nor the prophets ever imagined, allowing passion in its proper place so that compassion might be born. By removing sexual expression from the dominant culture’s productive motif, as if sexual love needs to be justified by having babies, they— like the author of the Song of Songs— can teach our society and churches to pause long enough to savor life and its divine delights. If it is true, as Gutierrez writes, that “the spirituality of liberation will have as its basis the spirituality of the anawim,”6 then the issue of First and Third World liberation, of feminist, womanist, mujerista, and male liberation, of North American as well as Latin American liberation, of white as well as black, brown, red liberation cannot be joined without the sexual anawim being listened to. When a society can allow for differences, it will— as historian John Boswell demonstrates the medieval church did—celebrate creative rejuvenation because of the presence of the anawim people in its midst. Perhaps it is not too late to begin to listen to those who represent the anawim in our midst. Community Query 2. Of what do we stand convicted? Commitments Having made my confessions and named my convictions, I next must offer my commitments. Commitments, promises, covenants, and communities develop best in the context of gratitude and thanksgiving for all that is and for all that might be in a future full of hope (Jer 29:11). In a spirit of gratitude to the members of the lesbian, gay, and bisexual community, I offer five commitments as we seek to deal with diversity as welcoming congregations.7 Commitment 1: To be in solidarity with the homosexual and bisexual members of welcoming congregations because you have been teaching us in the church “a hermeneutic of suspicion.” For far too long the church and its academy has been uncritical of its own assumptions in doing theology. However, anawim people, the faithful diverse and different ones so loved by God, have been teaching us a more healthfully suspicious theology. Those of us who are “different” in race, in sexual orientation, and in downwardly mobile class diversity, have taught us, for example, to distrust sincerity as a validating criterion for theology. Some of us used to think that when some Christians found homosexuality contrary to God’s will on biblical grounds, their sincere use of the scriptures should be respected, even if we disagreed with their conclusions. Some of us have come to believe that this is like saying that when white folk sincerely ground in the Bible their convictions that persons of color are inferior, we ought to respect that sincerity. Even the Southern Baptist Convention is getting over that old colorphobic chestnut! 8 Sincerity and elaborate uses of scripture are no guarantee of freedom from homophobia or of racism. We are, all of us, afflicted with those diseases. Anawim folk have taught us to be more creatively suspicious as well as subversive in doing theology. Commitment 2: To be in solidarity with gay, lesbian, and bisexual brothers and sisters because you have made the church more aware of its Christian tradition. For example, in pressing the question of blessing unions, you have made some of us more aware of our frequent errors in understanding the Christian tradition of marriage. So many have thought that clergy actually perform marriages and that churches have a special power to create a valid marriage. This is not so. Some of you have reminded the church that only the covenant of two persons with each other and with God creates a union. The church has the opportunity to bless, celebrate, and support a union. However, it is the covenanting process that creates a marriage, not the church or the clergy or a wedding service or a license. That applies to gay and lesbian unions as much as it does to those of heterosexual people. Commitment 3: To be in solidarity with the folk who emanate out of the homosexual and bisexual margins of our almost monocultural western Christianity because you have shown us a bigger church than the one we once knew. In quantitative size, this anawim group is a statistical minority. However, in qualitative size, we are no minority because we are large and making the church larger. We have had many reasons and many occasions to vote with our feet and leave the church. Yet we have stayed because we believe that the gospel is for everyone. We have stayed because we still bear the hope that the church might be yet larger Photo: Dale Fast Description: p. 17 Artists: Oscar Martinez and John Pitman Weber ©1973 more ➟ 8 Open Hands in stature, larger in the size of its soul, bigger in its integrity, greater in its ability to entertain a rich variety of persons, fuller in its strength of spirit to enable all people to realize their destiny to freedom, uniqueness, and worth. I thank God for this revelation and vision of a bigger church. Sacred clowns— God’s anawim people— do things backwards! Commitment 4: To commit to, and thank God for, members of the homosexual and bisexual communities who have chosen to become sacred clowns. There is an ancient tradition of the sacred clown— indeed, of Christ as a clown.9 And in the Native American tradition, the heyoehkah (sometimes negatively described as the berdache) were sacred clowns, honored in the tribe for their important and special functions of healing, and for their work as shamans.10 They were those in the tribe who did things differently, who challenged people’s thinking and shook them up, who kept them from becoming rigid. They were called “contraries” because they did some things backward, did things contrary to what others considered normal. I thank God that we have been shown by anawim people, in their contrariness, a heyoehkah response to AIDS. When the so-called normal response was fear and panic, sacred clowns danced backward and responded with love and compassion. When the world was talking about dying with AlDS, you were helping people to live with AIDS. When the “normal” response was to isolate, you drew people into community. When most people said that AlDS is not about us, but about “them,” you said, “This is about us all; our whole planet is sick and has acquired an immune dysfunction.” I thank you for dancing the dance of the sacred clowns. Commitment 5: To lift up the power and potential of liberating love to heal us all of our limitations, to forgive us of our sins, to reconcile us to ourselves, to God, and to the “other,” whoever and however different from us they may be. H.L. Mencken once described the Puritan as the one who deep down had a nagging sense that some people, somewhere, might be enjoying themselves. Well, I have a nagging sense that all of us are sinners. All of us are broken and need healing. Our sin, however, does not lie in living out our sexuality or in our particular sexual orientations, whatever they may be, but in our estrangement from love. My final commitment in dealing with diversity is to reiterate and to reinforce the need for all of us to find prophetic, radical, subversive ways to live and love in right relationships, with justice/love, wherever we are. Community Queries 3. What are our commitments? 4. How shall we respond? Liberating justice/love can teach us and comfort us in our efforts to deal with diversity, with confessions, with convictions, and with commitment. Carter Heyward insists that • To say “I love you” is to say that you are not mine, but rather your own. • To love you is to advocate your rights, your space, your self, and to struggle with you, rather than against you, in our learning to claim our power in the world.... • To love you is to be pushed by a power/God both terrifying and comforting, to touch and be touched by you. To love you is to sing with you, cry with you, pray with you, and act with you to re-create the world. • To say “I love you” means—let the revolution begin!...11 ▼ Source This article is adapted from a longer speech given at the Fourth National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations, July 13-16, 1995, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Copyright 1995 by Open Hands. Original speech is available on videotape from RCP. 312/736-5526. Notes 1For rumor, see Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose (San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1983), p. 88. For quote, see Mary Helen Washington, “Zora Neale Hurston: A Woman Half in Shadow,” I Love Myself When I am Laughing …And Then Again When I am Looking Mean and Impressive: A Zora Neale Hurston Reader, A1ice Walker, ed., (New York: Feminist, 1979), p. 19. 2The terms justice/love, mutuality, and right relationship are richly expanded upon by Carter Heyward in Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989). 3Cited in Donald W. Sherburne, A Key to Whitehead’s Process and Reality (New York: Macmillan, 1966), p. 93. 4See Matthew Fox, Breakthrough: Meister Eckhart Creation Spirituality in New Translation (Garden City: Doubleday, Image, 1980); and Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart (Santa Fe: Bear, 1982). 5See A. Gelin, The Poor of Yahweh (Collegeville: Liturgical Press, 1953). Also Ps 9:18; 82:3-4; and Zeph 3:12. 6Gustavo Gutierrez, A Theology of Liberation: History, Politics, and Salvation, trans. Sr. Caridad Inda and John Eagleston (Maryknoll: Orbis, 1973), p. 207f. 7This list is derived and adapted from James B. Nelson, “I Thank God for You: A Sermon for Lesbian and Gay Awareness Week at United Theological Seminary,” in James B. Nelson, Body Theology (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1992), pp. 183-189. 8See “The Era of Collective Repentance,” U. S. News and World Report, July 3, 1995, pp. 10-11, and “SBC renounces racist past,” Christian Century, July 5-12, 1995, pp. 671-672, for reports on apology offered by the largest Protestant body for “condoning individual and systematic racism in our lifetime,” a scene strikingly reminiscent of the apology four years ago by the Dutch Reformed Church to black South Africans for having provided religious justification for apartheid. Archbishop Desmond Tutu accepted that apology. 9Henri J. M. Nouwen, Clowning in Rome: Reflections on Solitude, Celibacy, Prayer, and Contemplation (Garden City: Image, 1979). 10Paula Gunn Allen, The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions (Boston: Beacon, 1992), pp. 197-200. 11Carter Heyward, Our Passion for Justice (New York: Pilgrim, 1984), p. 93. Toinette M. Eugene, Ph.D., is an associate professor of Christian social ethics at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary and a member of the graduate faculty of Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. Winter 1996 9 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 Gaye Janesdaughter is a pseudonym used by a woman in deference to her partner’s need for complete anonymity professionally. The greatgranddaughter of a Presbyterian minister, she married an Episcopal priest, divorced, raised her two sons as a single parent for eighteen years, and claimed a lesbian identity in 1987. After a particularly painful discussion with a minister who said he didn’t think homosexuality was “natural,” Gaye went for a walk and saw the beautiful copper beech with brown leaves standing among green-leafed trees. Hail to you, O Copper Beech, Hail to you, O Copper Beech, flourishing in the wood. What tales of prejudice would you tell, if only now you could? Do all the other green-leafed trees speak to you of “norm” and turn their branches up at you with deep contemptuous scorn? Would they deny you a chance to live in their exclusive town, saying: “It’s not Nature’s way to make spring leaves red-brown.” And do you ever try to say: “I just came this way, you see. I never asked to be a Beech, just a happy, living tree.” But, perhaps, your neighbors see in you the contrast you present and view your dark leaves happily, unthreatened and content. Perhaps, they see your reddish brown highlighting their own green hue and rejoice in the fact that this wide globe can accommodate both them and you. Oh, would that the woods could teach us how to live like them in grace and show us how to enjoy the “others” of different styles and race. If we could see the differences as variations on a theme, then we could love, as God must love, Her little earthling dream. June 1990 Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way? See 1 Corinthians 12:4-13 By Gaye Janesdaughter 10 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Who Should Be Made Disciples? The first churchwide assembly was held in the first century, less than twentyyears after Pentecost. The minutes of that meeting are recorded in chapter 15 of Acts. The issue the Spirit put before the church then focused on which people were, and which were not, acceptable in the Christian fellowship. Jesus had sent his apostles to make disciples of all nations. But the first Christians were all Jews and apparently thought Jesus meant to make disciples of the Jews in all the nations. He certainly couldn’t have meant to include Samaritans, for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. And he certainly didn’t mean to include the Gentiles, for Jews do not enter the houses of Gentiles or ever eat with them. So what was the problem? Well, the problem was that the Spirit of God, without permission from the duly recognized apostolic leaders in Jerusalem, inspired a layman to preach the gospel and baptize some of the dreaded Samaritans. Only after the fact were the apostolic leaders brought in to evaluate those irregular baptisms. Worse yet, Peter, who was one of the apostolic leaders, and therefore should have known better, got into the spirit of things himself. Along with a couple of friends, he preached the gospel and baptized a Gentile. Only after the fact did he explain his unauthorized sacramental practice to the church. Amazingly, he did not justify his actions on either the grounds of scripture or tradition, but on a personal and subjective experience of insight from the Spirit of God. Finally, an outside upstart, ordained by God but not by the apostles, began making a habit of preaching to and baptizing Gentiles. The growth of Paul’s congregations was so rapid the church could no longer endure these happenings without coming to some consensus on their meaning for its life and ministry. So the first churchwide assembly was called together in Jerusalem. The question under discussion was essentially this: “Are Gentiles saved by the grace of God alone or do they also have to observe the laws of Moses?” Can you imagine the discussion which followed when the question before the house asked if it was necessary for Christians to obey everything written in their Bible: the Law and the Prophets? They had no New Testament. All they had was the gospel being orally preached and believed. The minutes tell us they settled the issue by a four-fold appeal: to the prophets of Israel; to the gospel; to reasoning from their own experience of the gospel; and to their own sense of being led by the Spirit of God. In the process, they used one part of the Bible to support their freedom from any obligation to obey other parts of the Bible. The result was a decision that has been honored in the church ever since; Gentile Christians are not to be bound by every command in the Law of Moses. But, because that Law was being read every week in the synagogues, most Jewish Christians continued to attend; and because many of them had a lifetime of religious education and conditioning that would not quickly be overcome by the startling new standards set by the gospel and the Spirit, the Gentile Christians were asked to avoid a few practices which, however erroneously, were still widely believed to be against the will of God. This momentous decision made by that first churchwide assembly required the reeducation of people away from some things their Bible and religious tradition had always taught them. Why? Because in Christ a new time had dawned and what was once not acceptable was now acceptable. How do we know? We know from our experience of the gospel and the leading of the Spirit of God among us as we dialogue openly with each other. What do we do? We change our policies from those of past times to those for the present time, asking people to be patient and sensitive to each other’s feelings during the transition. Can we be 100 percent sure we Crumbs from the Master’s Table Matthew 15:21-29 By Paul W. Egertson I feel strangely at home here at Wesley United Methodist Church (see Source, p. 12). Thirty-eight years ago, while I was a student at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, my wife was pregnant with our first child. Our doctor’s office was in the Wesley office building which used to stand next door to this church and we came here regularly for pre-natal care. Our baby boy was duly born at Fairview Hospital, not far from here. Twenty-one years later, he told us he is gay. I also feel right at home here in a Eucharist sponsored by the Twin Cities chapter of Lutherans Concerned and presided over by the irregularly ordained pastors of St. Francis Lutheran Church in San Francisco where my son is a member and has served as president. Yes, I really feel at home here. I hope you feel at home here, too. Many of us are in Minneapolis attending the Fourth Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. These assemblies are times when Lutherans meet to deliberate on issues the Spirit of God places before the church. In every period of the church’s life, new issues arise and old issues are viewed with new eyes. Each time that happens, God’s people have gone back to square one and listened again to hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches. Winter 1996 11 have it right? No. The best we can hope for is the level of certainty that first churchwide assembly reported: It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us. Who Receives the Blessings? I’ve reviewed this ancient lesson because the issue it raises is not ancient at all. It comes up in the life of the church repeatedly. Every generation has to learn it anew, often in relation to issues that were not faced before. The story from Matthew 15:21-29 is a case in point. The date of that first assembly in Jerusalem we believe to have been 48- 50 CE, well within the lifetime of the first generation of Christians. The Gospel of Matthew is one of the latest gospels written, probably some thirty-five years after the assembly at Jerusalem. Matthew’s readers then, are second generation Christians who need to deal again with the question of the acceptability of Gentiles into the church. The point of the story is that a Gentile woman asks Jesus to heal her demon possessed daughter. The disciples want Jesus to send her away. Jesus tells her what many of the Jewish Christians who are Matthew’s readers personally believed: I am sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, not to the Gentiles. It isn’t fair to give the blessings belonging to the children of the house (read, Israelites) to the house dogs (read, Gentiles). The use of the word dogs here reminds us of how hostile the feelings between Jews and Gentiles were then. Each referred to the other as dogs. The Jews were dogs to the Gentiles because they denied the polytheism of the Greek and Roman religions. The Gentiles were dogs to the Jews because they did not believe in the monotheism of the one true faith. In other words, their mutual rejection was grounded in their religious convictions. What does this woman say to Jesus? “Even the dogs get to eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” What does Jesus say to her? “Great is your faith. Your wish is granted. Your daughter is healed.” And what did those early Christians learn from this story? The healing grace of God comes to people through faith, not through their racial or religious genealogy! It comes to women as well as to men. (This is not a story about a man and his son.) It comes to Gentiles as well as Jews. In other words, the gospel breaks through all the boundaries human culture and religion have created. Christians are no longer confined to live within borders Christ himself has crossed. It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to them. Who Does ALL Include Today? Just as first and second generation Christians had to learn this lesson in their times, so every generation of Christians down through the centuries has had to relearn it in their time. Our grandparents had to learn it in relation to the race issue in America. Are black people fully human? Does the Spirit intend for us to admit them into our congregations? My generation had to learn it in relation to the gender issue in America. This year we celebrate twenty-five years of ordaining women in our Lutheran church. But I was ordained thirty-five years ago and voted at least three times against seating women as delegates to our district conventions. Yet, the Spirit drove us during the 1960s to a new understanding of the Word that led to ordaining women in the 1970s. When this text in Matthew last came up for reading in Sunday worship, the message on the back of our denomination’s Sunday bulletin folders tried to connect the story with our time and church. It applied the lesson about Jews and Gentiles in the first century to our contemporary expressions of human division by a reference to women and then added: In our churches, the presence of children in worship, the needs of the disabled, the elderly, the voices of minorities may challenge us to reevaluate our mission. The Holy Spirit continues to call those we often discount. Note who are listed here as people we often discount: women, children, disabled, elderly, minorities. more ➟ 12 Open Hands Are there any people the church often discounts missing from that list of discounted people? Are there some people so discounted they don’t even make our list of the discounted? Only 5 to 10 percent of the world’s population! The people being placed by the Spirit before the church for full acceptance in our time are the gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons whom we are not yet comfortable even naming. If the Spirit is not facing us with this class of humanity for reconsideration, why has every major mainline denomination been re-examining its policies in relationship to them? And why has there risen up outside the official structures but within the fellowship of every major denomination a cadre of persons to bear witness to the need for change? And why has there developed in every church body a growing list of congregations willing to break the old traditions in the light of new leading from the Spirit by giving a public affirmation of welcome to gay and lesbian people? Each denomination has its own name for them. In Lutheran circles they are called Reconciled in Christ congregations, while United Methodists know them as Reconciling Congregations and Presbyterians call them More Light Churches.... So long as all is an exclusive word in our time meaning heterosexuals only, we will have to follow the New Testament’s example, saying: and also for homosexuals. If Christians in our time are to fulfill the Spirit’s call to become a fully inclusive church...then we can no longer omit these people from the list of those to be specifically identified for inclusion. In the early church it was not enough to say the gospel was for all, because all meant all Jews, but not Gentiles. So when the Word of the Spirit in that time was heard, those Christians made sure to specify that the gospel was not only for Jews but also for the Greeks. Paul’s letters are full of those specific designations. So long as all is an exclusive word in our time meaning heterosexuals only, we will have to follow the New Testament’s example, saying: and also for the homosexuals. If the church wants to keep gay and lesbian people from sitting or serving at the Lord’s table, it should not drop them any crumbs... or allow them to overhear the gospel. In the meantime, my son and you other gay and lesbian people may have to be content with the crumbs that fall from the Master’s table. But before you feel too depressed about that, let me tell you something about those crumbs. They are made up of the same bread being eaten by those who have a seat at the table. The same nutrients they receive, you receive. The grace given and received is the same grace whether from loaves off the table or crumbs off the floor. That grace accepts, reconciles, redeems, and saves all in like manner. You may have to wait for seating at the church’s table, but you are already eating at the Lord’s table. Finally, Only Two Options If the church is hesitant to take a stand regarding gay and lesbian people, it might be helpful to recognize that only two options are finally available. On the one hand, we can do what the first Christians did. We can continue to discuss this matter in Christian love with one another and if it seems good to the Holy Spirit and to us, we can remove both our rejecting attitudes and policies and announce to the world that for us all means homosexual people, too. Since there are many who have been taught from the Bible by the church that such acceptance is unthinkable, we will all need to be sensitive to those whose religious conditioning will not allow them to embrace the change. On the other hand, if the church cannot believe the Spirit is saying this for our time, then it should quit being so sloppy in its table manners and stop allowing crumbs to fall where those not qualified to receive God’s meal might happen upon it. If white Christians really wanted to keep black people enslaved, they should never have allowed them to sit in the balcony of their churches and hear the gospel. If Christian men want to keep women subordinate, they should not only insist women keep silent in church, as the Bible clearly commands, but also insist they not go to church at all, lest they hear the gospel and be set free. And if the church wants to keep gay and lesbian people from sitting or serving at the Lord’s table, it should not drop them any crumbs from the table or otherwise allow them to overhear the gospel. Why? Because the gospel is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. Any underclass persons who eat its crumbs, even from the floor, will be transformed and empowered in such a way that they will finally find their place at the table of God. It is to that table that Christ now invites us all, regardless of sexual orientation. Amen. ▼ Source This article is adapted with permission from a sermon preached at Wesley United Methodist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota, on August 19, 1995, in a Eucharist sponsored by Lutherans Concerned/Twin Cities. Copyright 1995 by Via Media, 385 Los Arboles, #222, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360. Permission to quote or copy must be secured in writing. Paul W. Egertson, Ph.D., a long-time pastor and educator, assumed office in February 1995 as bishop of the Southern California West Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He and his wife Shirley Mae have raised six sons and now have two grandsons. Winter 1996 13 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 One, two, three...fifty-five, fiftysix... ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninetynine. (Sit back and let the children absorb this. They have been counting for a long time and expecting to reach 100.) Oh, dear, one is missing! Now this shepherd (touch the figure of the shepherd) could say, “ Oh, well, I have ninetynine sheep. That’s still a lot of sheep.” But this shepherd does not do that. This shepherd leaves the ninety-nine sheep where they are in the wilderness and goes searching (move the figure of the shepherd) over the hills...and in the caves...and behind the rocks...and in the bushes...and just everywhere until this shepherd finds the one that is lost. (Place the one remaining sheep with the shepherd.) And when this shepherd finds the lost one, he carries it on his shoulders and calls all of his friends and neighbors to celebrate with him! God is like this shepherd. If even one person is missing from God’s whole people, God searches and searches and finds that person and calls all of us to celebrate. In our church, we are happy whenever anyone knows God’s love. We celebrate, just like the shepherd’s neighbors. That’s what God calls us to do. (Slowly and silently put your storytelling materials away as the children watch. Then continue the discussion or dismiss them to their next activity.) ▼ Note 1This way of sharing stories with children is derived from the work of Jerome Berryman. See his book Godly Play: A Way of Religious Education (Harper: San Francisco, 1991). Margaret Lirones, director of Christian education at Centennial United Methodist Church in Sacramento, is a member of Davis United Methodist Church and lives in Davis, California with her partner and their two children. Her son Eric (below) was four when she first told this story in Vacation Bible School. Today we are going to hear a story that Jesus told. When Jesus was traveling around his country, he spent time with all kinds of people: rich people and poor people, healthy people and ill people, religious people and people who had never heard about God. Jesus talked to people in the fields, and by the sea, and in the city. He visited all kinds of people in their homes and he often ate meals with them. Now, some people thought they knew who was good to know. They didn’t like to see Jesus spending so much time with people they did not like. They grumbled and complained because they thought Jesus should be with them instead. Jesus spent just too much time with those other people! They complained so much that finally Jesus told them a story. It went like this: Jesus said, “Pretend that you have one hundred sheep. You take good care of your sheep. You find the best grass for them and water for them to drink. Sometimes you count the sheep to be sure that they are all there.” Let’s count the sheep! (Bring out the ninety-nine pieces representing sheep. Invite the children to count with you. Count slowly while you lay the items down in rows of ten so there can be no mistake. Remind the children once or twice that you are getting close to 100.) Misinterpretations of the Parable Children’s versions of this parable often describe the dangers a lost lamb might face and the relief it might feel when the kind shepherd rescues it. Sometimes the story emphasis is on a wandering sheep being welcomed back to the fold by ninety-nine who had better sense than to stray. The descriptions of sheeps’ feelings are not part of the biblical text. The unspoken message, “don’t stray,” becomes a warning against being “different,” wandering, getting lost, or deviating from the norm. This was not Jesus’ intent! This parable was originally addressed to the majority religious establishment, not to individual “sinners.” Jesus calls the church to be the neighbors who celebrate with the shepherd. The story describes a flock that is incomplete if even one is missing. It illustrates God’s unfailing care for each of us—and for all of us. That is a powerful message. —Margaret Lirones THE CARING SHEPHERD: A Parable for Children Based on Luke 15:1-7 By Margaret Lirones (Before telling this story, find 100 small, identical items. Pennies would work; ends of cotton swabs are better; bits of wool are ideal. Hide one in your pocket. Sit on the floor with the children in a semicircle in front of you. Silently spread a large piece of green felt on the floor and add felt cutouts of hills, a small piece of black for a cave, twigs for bushes, and a cutout figure of a shepherd.1 Start by showing pictures of sheep and shepherds in the dry, hilly countryside where Jesus lived. If possible, bring in a fleece from a sheep or samples of real wool for children to see and touch. Discuss the importance of sheep to the people and the ways that a shepherd cares for the sheep, taking them far over the hills to find grass and water.) 14 Open Hands I am an evangelical Christian. I use that word, not in the context of present national political divisions, but in the context of a particular movement in the Protestant Reformation. We evangelicals believe our tradition is firmly rooted in the Bible. My grandfather is a good example of the evangelical tradition and experience. John Henry Bess was a young hillbilly living in the rural environs of Bollinger County in southeastern Missouri. He drank too much. In today’s world he would be identified as an alcoholic. According to my grandmother, grandpa was drunk the day they were married. Her friends asked her why she was marrying that “no good John Bess.” Nevertheless, she did, and life was not pleasant. Then, in about 1885, a traveling evangelist came to Marble Hill, the county seat of Bollinger County. As was the custom, he brought a tent and sawdust for the aisles. My grandfather went to the revival meeting. He was convicted of sin, walked the sawdust trail, took Christ as his Savior, and was saved. Grandpa never took another drink. He joined the Baptist church, and he and Grandma raised their five children in the church. Their middle child was my father, who with my mother, raised their seven children in the church. The impact of Grandpa’s conversion has now reached into the fifth generation. John Bess’s great, great grandchildren are accepting Christ and finding salvation in the evangelical tradition. Understanding the Plan At the heart of the evangelical experience is the conviction that “If any person is in Christ, that person is a new creation; old things pass away, and behold, all things become new.” This experience of being born again has little or nothing to do with baptism, receiving of communion, or church membership. It is all about meeting Jesus and receiving him as Savior and Lord. The preacher who is true to this tradition ends every sermon with an invitation to receive Christ and experience transformation. We evangelicals have seen enough transformed lives that our confidence is unshakable. It is this mindset that is brought to the homosexual phenomenon. Without question the dominant evangelical Christian opinion of homosexuality is that it is a perversion of the intent of the Creator. The homosexual is a sinner by definition and any same sex action is sin. It is entirely understandable to this evangelical person why a transforming experience with Jesus Christ ought to be considered the solution to such a perversion of creation as homosexual attractions and expressions. It is a shock to such an evangelical Christian when dramatic conversion does not work with a homosexual person. When the Plan Fails In a certain sense, a young homosexual person is the perfect target for such an approach to Christian experience. Young gay and lesbian persons are looking for a way out of their dilemma. They learn quickly in their junior high and senior high school years that their sexual orientation brings a huge negative response from friends, family, church, and community. They are driven, out of fear, into silence, inner psychological manipulations, and passionate pleas to God. But these approaches prove ineffective. Desperation sets in. The homosexual person who is familiar with evangelical Christian faith decides it is time to get right with God and receive Jesus Christ as Savior. He or she walks the aisle. A pastor, a deacon, or a trained counselor reviews the plan of salvation. The young homosexual person repeats the sinner’s prayer of confession and verbalizes a commitment to DIVINE WEAVING IN PROGRESS 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 Homosexuality in the Evangelical Experience By Howard H. Bess Winter 1996 15 of the college administration has been a very clear “thanks, but no thanks.”1 If Only... American evangelicals are not bigots, as some of my gay and lesbian friends perceive. Gay and lesbian persons are not evil people, as most evangelicals perceive. Each group needs desperately to be talking with the other. I believe that tens of thousands of gay and lesbian couples are living in virtuous, healthy partnerships that can be honestly affirmed by evangelical, Biblebelieving Christians. Further, the evangelical tradition is a rich expression of vital Christianity. It is my tradition. The possibilities are marvelous, if only communication can be established. ▼ Note 1The college’s “no thanks” is reflected in correspondence between president Dr. Duane Litfin and Wheaton College GALA. I, as a heterosexual alum, wrote to the president encouraging dialogue and received a letter from him reasserting the “no talk” administration policy. Howard H. Bess, pastor of a Welcoming and Affirming American Baptist church in Palmer, Alaska, is the author of a recently published book, Pastor, I Am Gay. He is also a new member of the Advisory Committee for Open Hands. Christ. Many times the new convert is encouraged to “pray through.” Honest, heartfelt pleas and commitments are made to God. Often a flood of tears accompany the experience and confirms the reality of the conversion. Many times the same sex yearnings actually fade. In reality, the yearnings have not left, but rather have been repressed. After a while the yearnings reappear. Guilt and rejection of self intensify. The promise of deliverance has become a horror of enormous proportions. As a pastor who decided long ago that I could not refuse pastoral care to anyone, I have heard this story dozens of times. Many of my gay and lesbian friends have gone through this process not once, but twice, three times, four times... Establishing Communication To further understand the tensions between evangelicals and the homosexual population, a person must grasp the importance of the Bible to an evangelical. The typical evangelical has rejected most if not all forms of hierarchical church authority. Authority rests in the local congregation—and the Bible is the tangible source of that authority. Evangelicals pride themselves in being people of the Bible. They are not easily influenced by psychological, sociological, or biological discussions or studies. If evangelicals in any significant numbers are to rethink their determination to address homosexual orientation by dramatic conversion, two things must happen. First, we each must engage in honest discussion of all pertinent Bible material. Christians who do not hold a high view of scriptural inspiration and authority will never be an active part of the discussions. If there is an appearance that the authority of the Bible is being undermined, evangelicals will leave the discussion table. However, within evangelicalism there has always been healthy debate about the interpretation of the Scriptures. Evangelicals are not theologically monolithic. I believe many evangelicals are ready to talk about the Bible, theology, and sexuality. Now we need people who are kind in nature, gentle in spirit, and gracious in discussion to provide leadership so that the conversations can begin. Second, honest discussion must begin to happen about a very sensitive area: homosexual lifestyles. Is there such a thing as a healthy Christian same-sex lifestyle? No progress will be made until communication is established between evangelicals and gay and lesbian Christian couples who are living in long term, committed, healthy relationships. Such couples are tightly closeted. They leave their closets of safety at great peril. Who will create the opportunities for sharing that will not hurt such couples and at the same time respect the concerns of evangelicals? I offer two examples of approaches that are not working. Recently, a weeklong conversation about homosexuality was sponsored by an American Baptist agency. Four regional discussions are scheduled for the next year by another agency of the same denomination. In none of the gatherings, past or planned, have gay or lesbian individuals or couples been invited to share their perspectives and understandings. How tragic. The people being discussed are not even being invited. Second, the Wheaton College Gay and Lesbian Alumni Association, a sizable organization and growing, has asked to have conversations with a newly formed Wheaton College task force on homosexuality. The response 16 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 A pastor shares his thoughts about inclusivity and arrogance in a sermon to his Reconciling Congregation. Perhaps your welcoming church is struggling with the same issue.—Editor Most of us live with a continuing contradiction in our lives. On the one hand, we need people to share our lives, to enter into close personal relationships, to share insights and information, and to interact in ways that shape our lives and theirs. We are, indeed, social animals, gregarious by nature. On the other hand, we have no desire to be with some other people. We avoid even minimal contacts, much less extended interactions or continuing relationships, with them. We sometimes exclude them from our circle without knowing anything about them, and without the slightest curiosity or interest to get to know them before excluding them. Sometimes, the distinctions we make are personal. We just don’t like, or just don’t want, to have anything to do with some people. Sometimes, the distinctions we make are social. We are born into an affinity group that excludes people in another affinity group. Jews had no dealings with Gentiles. Greeks considered themselves superior to barbarians. Serbians and Croats hate and kill each other. Palestinians and Jews live in the same land but in a relationship marked with fierce violence. African Americans live in the same society with European Americans but experience a completely different reality than European Americans. Think of all the people who are excluded from our circle about whom we have not even the slightest curiosity. We don’t know them and we have no desire to know them. Without knowing anything about how they live, we assume that they are inferior to us. We assume their culture is inferior. We assume their political and economic sys- ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE 1 Corinthians 9:16-23 By cornelius kanhai tems are inferior. We assume their theologies are inferior. What is more, we have no interest or desire to have any communication or commerce with them. In 1 Corinthians 9:16-23, Paul says: “I have become all things to all people...to the Jew, I became as a Jew...to those under the law...as one under the law...to those outside the law, I became as one outside the law...to the weak, I became weak...” Reconciling Within Many of us in welcoming churches feel very good about where we are. We in University Church feel very good about where we are. We feel good about being a part of this community. We value the openness and inclusiveness. We value the intellectual and spiritual freedom. We value the relationships and the contacts we have. We value the emphases of our ministry. However, just when we reach the place of loving where we are, we begin to approach the point of being exclusive. We value so highly our relationship to this community that we begin to close in on ourselves and risk becoming exclusive. As a Reconciling Congregation, we here at University Church value the atmosphere of our congregation where there are no longer distinctions between straight and gay. It has taken some of us a while to get past the difficulty of identifying persons by sexual orientation and focusing upon that quality as if it were paramount. “He is gay” or “she is lesbian” is no longer the most significant quality about any individual. Some of us still need to explore and unlearn our biases, including homophobia; some of us are in process. In former congregations I have served, just mentioning the word “gay” in a sermon could be the beginning of serious reaction and fallout from the congregation. The openness of University Church enables us to talk about sexual identity without scandalizing anyone. I am grateful to University Church for helping me to deal with the heterosexism with which I had been imprinted prior to my becoming a part of University Church. Reconciling Beyond Yet, as soon as I begin to celebrate our inclusiveness, I begin to feel somewhat exclusive and arrogant of those who are not part of a Reconciling Congregation. I betray the community by becoming exclusive— unless I remember that being a part of a reconciling community means that we are all still learning, that we are all still becoming, and that the difference between ourselves and another is a matter of degree rather than of kind. Being a part of a welcoming community like University Church places upon us a responsibility to share the experiences we have come to value. Our response to congregations and communities who are in an earlier stage of struggle with homophobia and heterosexism should not be one of smugness. Rather, it should be one of helping to bring others to the experience we have come to know. D.T. Niles, the Indian theologian, says that evangelism is “one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” By the grace of God, we have found bread here. That places upon us an obligation to share the good news with others. “I have become all things to all people, that I might by all means save some.” The special character of our community as an open, inclusive, and reconciling community puts us in a crucial place to witness to a wider community and society that is being destroyed by bigotry and hate. To be a welcoming, reconciling congregation must mean for us that we reach out beyond our walls, reach out beyond ourselves, and reach out beyond our self interests to effect reconciliation and healing for all. University Church has been discovering the power of being a reconciling community. In the fall of 1993, as we Winter 1996 17 new ways in which all people who are in spiritual pilgrimage can begin to respect each other, learn from each other, and find ways to work together to advance our common goals. We need to clarify our own theological thinking and become open to the theologies of other traditions. We need to begin to move toward a post-Christian theology which will get beyond the narrow exclusiveness of a Euro-centric Christian theological tradition to a conversation in which we develop a respect and a new openness to older theological traditions that can inform and enrich our own experiences. Reconciling Racially Finally, as a reconciling community we need to begin to move ourselves and others beyond racism. We need to confess that we are racist and to find ways in which we can deal with the white western European traditions which have enslaved and excluded other traditions. Someone pointed out to me recently that if we wanted to be attractive to nonwhites, we could begin by looking at the art on the walls of our building. Would art that celebrates other cultures and traditions, that depicts the Native American experience, that celebrates Hispanic culture, that depicts African American and African struggles, that celebrates the great wealth of the East, that comes from whole spectrum of the human enterprise, not be more expressive of a reconciling community? It would be a good place to begin to eliminate racism in our own experience. Some of us long for our church community to reflect the ethnic diversity of the larger secular community we serve. However, as long as we remain essentially middle-class-white in the character of our community, there is little that would attract and hold people who are of other races and cultures. We need to find ways to be a reconciling community which heals the brokenness and pain that racism inflicts on us all. All things to all people.... It is a challenge, indeed! But, for us at University Church, it is a wonderful opportunity. May God strengthen and encourage us in our ministry. ▼ Source This article is adapted from a sermon delivered on February 6, 1994, to University United Methodist Church, Madison, Wisconsin. Used with permission. cornelius kanhai, pastor of University United Methodist Church from 1992 to 1995, now serves Waterloo United Methodist Church in a suburb of Madison. He has also served as a board member of the Reconciling Congregation Program. FOR A NEW WORLD This mural, on the west wall of Parish of the Holy Covenant United Methodist Church in Chicago, was created by John Pitman Weber, Oscar Martinez, and other young artists from the Chicago Mural Group (now Chicago Public Art Group). It was dedicated on August 5, 1973. Meant to be a “window toward the world,” the panels represent the three elements of the church’s worship service: Confession (symbolizing the evils of our time), The Word (showing the promise of a new world where there is neither oppressor nor oppressed), and Offering (representing the dedication of our lives to bringing the new world of justice into our daily work. The mural needs renovation and a fund has been established. Thanks to current pastor, Bonnie Beckonchrist, for details of the mural’s history. Photo: Dale Fast Artists: Oscar Martinez and John Pitman Weber ©1973 sought to deal with hate mail by drawing together others in our city who might benefit from mutual support, we found an eagerness and excitement about this ministry. The Coming Out/ Coming Together service we helped lead (see Open Hands, Spring 1994, p. 21) and the continuing work of the coalition as they meet regularly for fellowship, support, and for planning other ministries have been exciting and gratifying experiences. Yet we need to continue to work to find other ways of exercising our ministry as a reconciling community. Reconciling Theologically I believe that the ministry of a reconciling community must go beyond being inclusive of lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals in our ministry. Being the open and inclusive community we are puts us in a special position of being able to create the climate for dialogue and reconciliation in an increasingly diverse religious/theological mix in our community. The diverse nature of our community in Madison places on us a responsibility to work for inclusiveness by drawing together Jews and Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists, Christians of many traditions, and earth-based religions into conversations and community. “Becoming all things to all people” might mean for us beginning to find 18 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 In the spring of 1994, my husband Tom and I decided to become therapeutic foster care providers. We had just finished graduate school in rehabilitation counseling. One Sunday, skimming the paper for employment opportunities, I saw an ad that read something like this: Foster parents needed to provide in-home care to a young man with multiple disabilities. This person will be facing a series of surgeries and will need assistance with independent living skills... Tom and I replied with a resume to the listed social service agency, thinking that this agency might have other positions available for skilled rehabilitation counselors. Thoughts of providing case management or in-house training related to disabilities came to mind for both of us. The director responded immediately, asking if we would be interested in fostering the person mentioned in the ad. Our reply was simple enough. “Well, we are not really in a position to care for someone in our home. Our schedules are hectic. We just need secure employment...” The director said she wished we would at least consider the opportunity because she felt our educational background would benefit this young man. Besides, she said, he was difficult to place given the severity of his disabilities. She gave us a run down of his life and what led up to his need for care at this time. “His name is Al. He has been institutionalized for nineteen of his twenty years. He is part of a class action suit against the institution. Now he has the chance to live in the community...” What followed was a harrowing list of disabilities and an explanation of the reconstructive surgeries ahead for Al. Al would be meeting several potential “foster parents.” Would we at least be willing to meet him? We agreed. A Decision That Changed Us All That conversation changed our lives and the life of our worshiping community. After we met Al, there was no question. The decision was made jointly between Al and the two of us. He came to live with us in June of 1994 and together we have crossed many bridges. In our first meeting, we asked Al how he felt about church and explained our active participation in the Clifton Presbyterian community. He was excited. Being in an institution, he had limited interaction with church congregations, but expressed a strong faith. We explained that Clifton was an inclusive church and part of the More Light Network. We talked about the homeless mission that Clifton created fifteen years ago. We explained how Tom is a volunteer bus driver, picking up homeless men at the stop in downtown Atlanta once a week, and that I am the food coordinator for the shelter. We also explained that Clifton is a small community, with a worshiping congregation of about forty people. From the beginning, Al expressed a deep understanding for disenfranchised people. He said, “Most people don’t care about homelessness. I am glad Clifton gives them a home.” In the months preceding Al’s placement with us, Tom and I took every opportunity to share about Al at church. We shared a picture of him to ease any shock for people who may not have encountered a person with facial differences. We explained what Al’s disabilities were, hoping not to color any first impressions. At the same time, we felt that if the congregation knew about his differences even before he joined in, they would be able to move past the differences. They would, we hoped, be able to meet Al and discover the gifts he would bring. With the best of intentions, the congregation embraced Al, sometimes even doting on him. Al says “I didn’t know what to expect. I expected them to be skeptical. I know my disabilities surprised them.” Some people were indeed skeptical, not only of Al becoming part of the church community, but of Tom and I signing up for such a huge “undertaking.” DeeAnna’s Journey I first became involved at Clifton Presbyterian as a volunteer in the homeless mission. Every night the men sleep in the sanctuary and every Sunday the mats are rolled away to make room for worship. The members of this church bring guests into their church home every night. Some guests remain for a very short time; others become residents. I watched volunteers, church members, and homeless guests enter into relationship with one another. People who seemingly had nothing in common, all very different and diverse, were teaching and learning from one another. People of different cultures, races, sexual orientations, genders, classes, and abilities were giving and receiving from one another. I eventually joined Clifton as a worshiping member, in part because I believed in the efforts of the homeless mission, but also because of Clifton’s commitment to inclusiveness and their decision to become part of the More Light Network. For years, before my decision to bring Al into my life, Clifton modeled the valuing of differences for me. Night after night, Clifton brought marginalized people into their home and offered hospitality. There was never any ownership of the residence; it was truly God’s house for all who dwelled within. I believe this witnessing allowed me to open my heart and home to Al. The irony is that those people in the Clifton community who were hesitant and skeptical about Al were the very people who were part of the witness. They were instrumental in bringing me to a place of truly valuing differences. VALUING DIFFERENCES: A Process of Experience By DeeAnna P. Merz with Al Duvall Winter 1996 19 Learning to Value Differences I believe we learn to value differences through experience. In my case, Clifton Presbyterian Church taught me, at the deepest level, how to value the differences of homeless people and people with different sexual orientations. Interwoven among the homeless guests were people with a variety of differences, including disability. However, as intimate as this portrait is, bringing Al into the worshiping community was a deeper cut even still. The fabric of Clifton was no longer woven with differences on the frayed edges; a person with ability differences was now worshiping in their midst and expected nurturing. Al expected more than a hot meal, a warm blanket, and occasional conversation. He wanted to be able to form lasting relationships and be valued as an integral part of the community. This did not happen overnight. Al and church members reached a level of vulnerability with each other over time. Al began to share his pain and his joy. He joined in the church activities and began seeing the pastor for weekly visits. He began asking for what he needed— from help to the rest room to a prayer request. People began to see Al, not for what he had overcome, but for his ideas and opinions. I asked Al what he liked about Clifton. He said very matter-of-factly, “Well, Clifton is like another family for me.” I asked Al how he thought people or churches could begin to value ability difference. He said: Go to places that have people with disabilities, like hospitals and institutions. Volunteer at places like that so you can begin to see what their lives are like. That’s how you get educated. Find a couple of people that you really like and have conversations with them. That way, the disability won’t be as frightening. Take someone with a disability out just to be with them. When you have someone with a disability in your church, educate them. I didn’t know much about being Presbyterian, or getting baptized, but members of the church talked to me and the pastor gave me some literature. My baptism was the greatest! It changed me. In fact, my relationship with God got stronger. It’s like when people get married and say their vows. I really am a child of God. Churches also need to be sensitive to language. Words like crippled and lame are hard to hear. We all just need to learn from each other. How Have We Changed? In the time that Al has been with Tom and me, the youth at Clifton have produced and staged a play about valuing different sexual orientations. Clifton has begun to move beyond shelter in their homeless mission. I have witnessed the building of deeper relationships as volunteers, members, staff, and other churches have engaged in a deeper level of commitment to the guests that reside at Clifton. We are now talking about how to make our church more accessible to people with disabilities. I have been a part of building deep, intentional, and inclusive relationships within my nuclear family and my church family. All of us at Clifton have taught and we have learned. We have given and we have received. We have grown and we have experienced! That’s how we learn to value differences. ▼ DeeAnna P. Merz and Al Duvall are members of Clifton Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia. DeeAnna works part-time at the church as food coordinator for the homeless mission. Al recently completed course work at the Center for the Visually Impaired and is now volunteering his time at the Disability Action Center. 20 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 The strategic plan of the Eastern Pennsylvania Conference, United Methodist Church, is “calling local congregations to transformation.” In this context a new conference position, coordinator of human relations, was created. A major emphasis of this position, which Dody Matthias has held for less than a year, is to acknowledge the brokenness of racism and to discern God’s healing purpose. Since, however, the roots of prejudice and privilege are intertwined, the model that Dody proposes here may well be instructive for those working on brokenness due to privileges of age, gender, orientation, class, weight, ability, or health. —Editor The acknowledgment of racism is very painful for white (European- American) people since we have been socialized into it. We have had little support in developing ways to look at racism and, for that matter, to even know what it is and how it is rooted in all the systems of this society. To begin to comprehend this sin, we need a life of prayer and of reading and seeking the Word of God, for it is this truth that sets us free. Beginning Attempt The Eastern Pennsylvania conference staff and cabinet members first participated in an all-day event. We got in touch with white privilege,1 explored the definition of racism as power to enforce prejudice, and discussed a powerful video, The Color of Fear, produced by Lee Mun Wah following the L.A. uprisings.2 Since that day-long event, we have held a four-part follow-up. Biblical Reflection: Part 1 We read and reflected on Ephesians 2:13-16. Emphasis was on: a. Our responsibility is not to rebuild the dividing wall that God has already broken down. We were reintroduced to the fact that white privilege is one way we rebuild the dividing wall of racism. b. It is in the flesh of Jesus that groups become one. Being part of the body of Jesus means no walls of division. When we separate from one another, it is we who have chosen to be outside the body of Jesus. Assumptions and Consequences: Part 2 We saw and discussed the video Free Indeed, a drama of four white, middle-class young adults who play a card game as a prerequisite for doing a service project for a black Baptist church.3 Their ensuing discussion addresses issues of accountability, unseen assumption, success, and what racism does to white people. Identification and Commitment: Part 3 White (European-American) conference staff and cabinet members were invited to identify three white privileges directly related to their jobposition within the cabinet or staff and then to respond to the following questions: a. How do these privileges affect you? b.What action will you take to address white privilege within yourself and your position? Accountability: Part 4 White persons on the conference staff and cabinet shared their responses to the questions above, naming how the privilege they identified affected them and the action they would take. White staff and cabinet members then chose a white partner to whom to be accountable. Finally, the two white partners turned over hand-written cards describing their actions to a person of color on the staff/cabinet. The point was made that white people are to hold one another accountable and be accountable to people of color. A process was set up whereby the white person “checks in” with her/his partner as a support measure for the new chosen behavior. The partners regularly check in with the person of color who holds their cards, reporting their progress on their chosen action taken to address white privilege. Actions chosen by white conference staff and cabinet members included behaviors in setting aside privilege. For example, one cabinet member who had a role of power and authority within a particular conference committee put his white privilege to that role aside so that an African-American man could participate. The white cabinet member felt this to be “freeing.” Another action to address privilege was a decision to change the rules so that people of color would always be at the table in discussions and decisionmaking that affected their destiny. This change has already resulted in “access to the table” being gained by someone who otherwise wouldn’t have been part of decisions crucial to the person/group. Ac-count’a-bil-i’ty: Answerable to... White people are answerable to people of color viz a viz their work on undoing/dismantling/ de-constructing racism. We know from experience that well-intentioned white people easily can make matters worse if we do not check out our intended anti-racist actions with the people who will be affected by our actions. That’s why, in dealing with racism, white people are accountable to people of color. In the same way, in undoing sexism, men are accountable to women; in undoing heterosexism, heterosexual women and men are accountable to gay/lesbian/bisexual people. TRANSFORMATION IN FRONT OF OUR OWN EYES! By Dody S. Matthias Winter 1996 21 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 Participant Reactions It is difficult for white people to think in terms of being accountable to people of color. To be part of the body of Jesus (Ephesians passage above) is to be interdependent and accountable. White persons are beginning to see this as liberating, being “free indeed of white privilege and how we play the game.” African-American staff and cabinet members felt this to be “a positive, much-needed experience, my first of this kind in the conference. I trust this is just a beginning.” Closed with Prayer O God, you made us in your image and redeemed us through Jesus. Look with compassion on your people— your body in this world. Take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in one body of love; and through our struggle and confusion, work to accomplish your will. Next Time As a beginning attempt, next time I would start with a shorter session, using parts 1-4, rather than the film. I would let people “sit” awhile with those parts before going on to an all-day event. The Color of Fear film is a very powerful piece and can be overwhelming to some people, especially as a beginning effort.▼ Notes 1See Open Hands, Fall 1995, especially “Making Tangled Roots Visible” and “Identifying Race Privilege: From One White to Another.” 2Lee Mun Wah, The Color of Fear. Stir Fry, 1222 Preservation Parkway, Oakland, CA 94612. (510)419-3930. Rental: $200. 3Free Indeed is available from the Mennonite Central Committee, PO Box 500, Akron, PA 19501-0500. Cost: $20. Dody S. Matthias, a member of St. John Lutheran Church in Potstown, Pennsylvania, is part of the justice teaching collective, HUPERETAI. She wrote Working for Life: Dismantling Racism (see p. 25). She also writes poetry. 1. Struggle with Definitions: Develop class definitions of racism, sexism, heterosexism, ageism, classism, ableism... The common elements are prejudice (an attitude), discrimination (an action), privilege (a position), and power (an action). How do they fit into the definitions? Tip: to make the definitions more than statements about individual prejudice or discrimination of one person or group against another, we need to recognize the place of one group’s power (because of their privilege) to enforce prejudice.1 For example, people of color may be prejudiced against white people and individually discriminate against them but white people hold the power to enforce prejudice against people of color. Les/bi/gay and transgendered people may be prejudiced against heterosexual people and individually discriminate against them, but heterosexual people hold the power to enforce prejudice against les/bi/gay and transgendered people. 2. Check your Attitude Before and After: Create a worksheet using psychologist Dorothy Riddle’s Attitude Continuum: Repulsion—Pity—Tolerance—Acceptance— Support—Appreciation2 Include below the continuum a short description of each point. Ask participants to mark this continuum privately at the beginning of your study. If you are studying multiple forms of oppression, mark the form for each. At the end of the study, ask class members to mark the continuum again. Ask them to discuss with one other person in class why they moved (or didn’t move) on the continuum. Possible discussion question: How does my privilege affect my attitude? For a more communal and visual experience, print each word of the continuum on a separate sheet of paper. Place those word-cards on the floor in the continuum order, leaving good space between each word. Ask the class to stand where they were at the beginning of the course; then ask them to move to where they are at the end of the study. Discuss feelings and insights. 3. Check your Actions Before and After: Create a similar form using the action continuum in The Welcoming Congregation: Oppressing—Denying/Ignoring—Recognizing/ Not Acting—Recognizing/ Acting—Educating Self—Educating Others—Supporting/Encouraging— Initiating/Preventing3 Include short descriptions of each of the points. Use this form at the beginning of a study series as described above. Give class members time to explore silently or with others their self-evaluations on how they act. Possible discussion question: How does my own privilege affect how I act or don’t act? In a later session, engage the class in commitment/accountability discussions and action decisions.4 In the last session of your study, ask class members to check the action continuum again, noting any movement they have made. Possible discussion: How has my commitment to a particular action affected my place on the continuum? ▼ Notes 1See Matthias, this issue, p. 20. 2Scott W. Alexander, The Welcoming Congregation (The Unitarian Universalist Association, 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108- 2800), p. 58, for short descriptions of this attitude continuum. 3Ibid., p. 59. A set of slightly different descriptions is found in Warren J. Blumenfeld and Diane Raymond, Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life Upd. and exp. ed. (Boston: Beacon, 1993), pp. 258-62. 4See Eugene, this issue, p. 7; Matthias, this issue, p. 20 ; and Matthias, Working for Life, pp. 81-82 (full description in Selected Resources p. 25). VALUING DIFFERENCES: Study Ideas By Mary Jo Osterman with Dody S. Matthias 22 Open Hands Weaving Diversity and Unity: A Liturgy of Celebration By Cathy Ann Beaty Greeting One: We are called to be a New Community, rejoicing in our diversity, witnessing to God’s promise of new life. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. One: We have gathered to celebrate the tapestry that the diversity of our lives creates. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. One: May our presence and our worship proclaim God’s truth: Our unity is God’s resurrection hope. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. Hymn of Praise “Weave” verse 1 Acknowledging our Humanness One: Giver of New Life, You have called us together from many places and You offer to set us free if we trust in You. All: Yet, more often than we care to admit, we cling to that which oppresses us because it feels familiar and secure— and liberation calls us to unknown responsibilities. May our fears and our doubts be transformed through the liberating life of Jesus Christ. May we be challenged and empowered to accept responsibility for co-creating our own lives in relationship with You. And may we find the courage and boldness to overcome the conventional categories we place on ourselves and others, that— freed from stereotypical thinking—we might discover the beauty and diversity that is Your gift to us. Amen. Affirming our Humanness All: Our individual uniqueness is a gift of love, our diversity a gift of grace, and our unity a vision of hope. One: May we celebrate the beauty and wonder that God is weaving through us, God’s New Community. Let us share the Peace of Christ with one another. Hymn of Thanksgiving “Weave” verses 2 & 3 Going Forth into the World with Peace One: May our hands reach to one another in hope. All: May our hearts overflow with compassion. One: May our lives embrace one another in peace. All: May our spirits soar with God’s promise of new life in community. Note The print part of the liturgy may be reprinted for local worship events only. Other uses, please contact Open Hands. Please contact Rosemary Crow for all reprinting of the song. Cathy Ann Beaty is pastor of Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Spirit of the Lakes, which was started as an inclusive community, is an Open and Affirming congregation. Sustaining the Spirit Winter 1996 23 Copyright ©1979 by Rosemary Crow. For permission to reprint, contact her at 33 Dearhaven Lane, Ashville, NC 28803. (704) 684-2223. Rosemary Crow, composer and singer, has published seven albums. “Weave” was the theme song for the Tri-Lutheran Women’s Convocation, American Baptist Women in Ministry Conference, and national and international conventions of the Girl Scouts of America. WEAVE by Rosemary Crow 24 Open Hands On Weaving Community from Diversity In the kindom of God an all-inclusive, divine weaving of community will perhaps occur. It’s certainly a marvelous vision! In the meantime, given our earthly, limited reality, many inclusivity discussions make me downright uneasy. In the first place, I am uneasy because all-inclusive diversity is not really what we’re seeking. Muttered under our breath is usually at least one disclaimer to this ideal. We may include all Christians, but exclude other faiths as valid in God’s holy community- in-progress. We may include moderates, conservatives, and evangelicals, but not fundamentalists. We embrace certain analytical approaches and discard others. We insist on certain creeds or no creeds. We insist on various positions on ordination, abortion, or how to interpret particular biblical passages. When we speak within our various “communities,” we seem to know (or are soon told!) what the real boundaries of inclusivity are. “Of course, we don’t mean the serious fundamentalist point of view; look at what fundamentalism has wrought in other countries.” Or, “of course, we don’t include serious feminist analysis…” Or, “of course, Christianity is superior...” Etc. Etc. Etc. In the second place, I am uneasy because in the midst of revolutions of mammoth proportions those who place more value on some positions are often dismissed out-of-hand with such epithets as radical, marginal, extreme, out-of-touch, or “ideology rather than analysis.” Usually, the dismissals come from privileged mainstream persons, groups, or institutions enforcing their own prejudices. In the third place, I am uneasy when some who cry “diversity is all” would have us believe that currently competing alternatives are equal so we should just blend them. This is the essence of tokenism: We let you into our system, but don’t rock the boat by questioning us. Diversity, in such hands, becomes a tool to maintain centuries-old beliefs and discriminatory customs. It becomes a stealth weapon for the powerful and privileged to hang on to both. How do we work with the divine weaving-in-progress? Certainly, we need to respect people who are different from us. Certainly, we need to be open to encountering different ideas. Closing ourselves off from difference ensures that we’re limiting the divine weaving-in-progress. Being in dialogue with different kinds of people and diverse ways of thinking and believing is critical to the weaving of God’s community. Still, having faced into difference rather than turning away from it, we remain confronted with several tasks. Toinette Eugene (p. 5) outlines three: confession, conviction, commitment. Paul Egertson (p. 10) underscores biblical interpretation and witnessing to our beliefs. Dody Matthias (p. 20) outlines a process of accountability. As they imply, we still need some set of values or criteria by which to judge our diversity-building process. Which stances are faithful, loving, forgiving, just, charitable? Which stances add to the divine weaving-inprogress? Which limit or negate that weaving? My set of values, based on a reading of scripture informed by biblical criticism methods, liberation theology, and feminist analysis, judges claims of inclusivity based on whether or not they (a) are justice-based and liberation-oriented, (b) acknowledge the divine spark in every person and in the natural world, (c) involve a painful, but necessary, giving up of privilege to equalize power, and (d) promote accountability— to God and to persons and groups who have been victimized by those who hold the power to enforce prejudices. What are your values? Editorial If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Second Call for Articles for Fall 1996 Gender and Transgender: Exploring the Issues, Sharing the Stories We welcome additional articles, stories, and other resources for our gender and transgender theme. We encourage transgendered people to write of their personal journeys, especially as those relate to religious issues and acceptance (or non-acceptance) in a church community. We invite pastors and lay people to write about their personal experiences of ministering to and with transgendered people in a local congregation. What concerns have risen? What joys and gifts have been received? Let us hear from you! Write or call with idea: April 1 Manuscript deadline: August 1 One More Word Winter 1996 25 Matthias, Dody S. Working for Life: Dismantling Racism. Lima, Ohio: Fairway Press, 1990. Sixteen learning experiences on dismantling racism through consciousness raising, education, advocacy, and activism. Order: Eastern Pennsylvania Conference, UMC, PO Box 820, Valley Forge, PA 19482-0820. Rothenberg, Paula S. Race, Class, and Gender in the United States: An Integrated Study. New York: St. Martin’s, 1995. Explores infrastructures and workings of racism, sexism, classism. Shearer, Jody Miller. Enter the River: Healing Steps from White Privilege toward Racial Reconciliation. Scottsdale: Herald, 1994. “A great primer, lovingly and encouragingly written without flinching from the truth. Helpful to those beginning to examine racism as well as those who have been on the journey for a time.” —Dody Matthias. Stroupe, Nibs and Inez Fleming. While We Run this Race: Confronting the Power of Racism in a Southern Church. Maryknoll: Orbis, 1995. The title says it. That All May Enter: Responding to People with Disability Concerns. Presbyterians for Disability Concerns, Education and Congregational Nurture Ministry Unit, Resource Division, 100 Witherspoon Street, Louisville, KY 40202. Video/Film Free Indeed. Mennonite Central Committee. A finalist in the New York Film Festival, this 23-minute video challenges white viewers to examine their privilege and what it is doing to themselves and to others. Study guide. Order: PO Box 500, Akron, PA 17501-0500. Cost: $20. Mask. Screenplay by Anna Hamilton Phelon. Directed by Peter Bogdanovich. 1985. Possible resource for group discussion on difference and disability. For Youth Duvall, Lynn. Respecting our Differences: A Guide to Getting Along in a Changing World. Minneapolis: Free Spirit, 1994. Explores nature of prejudice from point of teens’ concerns: fears/ discomfort, language issues/jokes, attitudes/beliefs, conflicts. Exercises, discussion questions, bibliography. Biblical/Theological Insights DeYoung, Curtiss Paul. Coming Together: The Bible’s Message in an Age of Diversity. Valley Forge: Judson, 1995. This resource addresses racial and cultural diversity from a biblical perspective by illustrating different ways people of color interpret the Bible and how these intersect with traditional white European perspectives. Lee, Jung Young. Marginality: The Key to Multicultural Theology. Minneapolis: Fortress, 1995. A new model to develop non-dominating contextual theologies. Solle, Dorothee. Creative Disobedience. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Critiquing obedience to earthly leaders and institutions as an unChristian virtue, Solle appeals to the life of Jesus who submitted to the will of God through creative disobedience rather than submitting to oppressive institutions of his day. Treat, James. “The Canaanite Problem.” Daughters of Sarah (Spring 1994): 20-24. Treat, an enrolled member of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation of Oklahoma, explores Matt 15:21- 28 by drawing parallels between Jesus’ “Canaanite problem” and white America’s “Indian problem.” William, Gregory, H. Faith before Faithfulness: Centering the Inclusive Church. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1992. While retaining hard-won emphases on tolerance, political involvement, diversity, and justice, this author suggests a shift in image from “mainline” church to “inclusive-evangelical” church as a way for churches to regain their center in God. Welcoming Work Adleman, Jeanne and Gloria Enguidanos, eds. Racism in the Lives of Women: Testimony, Theory, and Guides to Anti-racist Practice. Binghamton, New York: Haworth, 1995. Essays on anti-racism work in various aspects of life. Amado, Angela Novak, ed. Friendships and Community Connections between People with and without Developmental Disabilities. Paul H. Brooks Publishing, PO Box 10624, Baltimore, MD 21285-0624. Suggested by DeeAnna Merz for individuals and churches exploring new ministries. Barndt, Joseph. Dismantling Racism: The Continuing Challenge to White America. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1991. A pastor in the Bronx calls churches and individuals to the tasks of dismantling racism and building “a racially just, multiracial, multicultural society.” (back cover) New Movement Resources OK! We’re ONA. Now What? ONA Program, United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, 1995. 40pp. $8. Check: UCCL/GC. Order: ONA-UCCL/GC, PO Box 403, Holden, MA 01520-0403. Ideas on how your church can express its ONA commitment. Inclusive Faith. Lutherans Concerned/North America, 1995. 18-min. video. Order: Bob Gibeling, 2466 Sharondale Dr., Atlanta, GA 30305. E-mail: gibeling@aol.com. Promotes the Reconciled in Christ program through interviews, music, discussion. Selected Resources 26 Open Hands Brethren/Mennonite Churches Publicly Announce Their Welcome The Supportive Congregations Network (SCN) recently announced the first twelve Mennonite and Church of the Brethren congregations to join the network as “publicly affirming” congregations (see p. 29). They have adopted a written and public statement of welcome of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. SCN coordinator Jim Sauder notes that twenty-seven additional congregations are designated “accepting congregations” (but have not made a public statement) and still others are “exploring congregations.” For more information about SCN, write to PO Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406 or call 612/305-0315. Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Churches Face Dismissal Churches in Ohio and California that are members of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) are finding their denominational loyalty questioned. Although not binding on local churches or denominational policy, the General Board of the ABC/USA affirmed in 1992 that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Some local American Baptist associations and regions are now using this statement as a “litmus test” of adherence to what some perceive to be a denominational policy. Action was taken in September by the American Baptist Churches of Ohio to remove First Baptist of Granville, Ohio, from membership solely because the Granville church is a W&A congregation. Similar action is expected in January to remove four California Bay Area churches from the ABC of the West. Although these churches will likely remain within the denomination, the constant barrage of misinformation, the repeated questioning of their Christian commitment, and the painful rejection by the regional denominational family is difficult for W&A pastors and congregations. Yet, while under attack, these churches remain loyal to the ABC/USA and to the affirming ministries to which they have been called by Christ. For more information, contact Brenda J. Moulton, Association Coordinator, PO Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. Lesbian/Gay Affirming Organizations Witness at NCCC National leaders of ten lesbian/gay affirming organizations, meeting in Oakland, California on November 13-17 in conjunction with the general board meeting of the National Council of Churches of Christ (NCCC), successfully influenced inclusion of sexual orientation language and issues in the NCCC’s Human Rights document. RCP Reaches Milestone of 100! Pacific Beach United Methodist Church in San Diego, California, declared itself a Reconciling Congregation on October 17, becoming the 100th Reconciling Congregation. No New Church Profiles this Time We know some of you were eagerly looking for your church profile to be here, but we needed more space to run the full welcoming church list (see p. 29). You’ll find your church listed there. Watch for many new profiles in the spring issue, as our movement continues to grow! —Editor RCP’s Open the Doors Campaign Builds Momentum The Open the Doors campaign is drawing the support of thousands of United Methodists across the country in a witness to the 1996 General Conference, the denomination’s quadrennial decision-making assembly. Noting that churches’ doors have too often been closed to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families, the campaign is calling on The United Methodist Church to “open the doors.” The campaign was launched at the Reconciling Congregation Convocation in July, 1995. Six regional Knock-Ins in October brought together 160 activists from thirty-three annual conferences to develop strategies in their communities and conferences. Knock-In participants created plans to enroll 9,600 Reconciling United Methodists, to communicate personally with their General Conference delegates, and to proclaim the Open the Doors message. As Open Hands went to press in mid-December, 2,000 persons had enrolled as Reconciling United Methodists, proclaiming “I join the witness to ‘open the doors’ of The United Methodist Church to the participation of all people, regardless of sexual orientation.” By February, 6,000 signatures are expected. Volunteer campaign coordinators have been secured in about one-half of the sixty-eight annual conferences in the U.S. “This is the largest, grass roots witness on behalf of the full participation of lesbians, gays, and bisexuals ever seen in The United Methodist Church,” noted James Preston, RCP outreach coordinator. “At the same time, we are also greatly expanding the base of the Reconciling Congregation movement.” Persons interested in enrolling as Reconciling United Methodists or getting involved in Open the Doors should contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. Movement News Winter 1996 27 ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Signature _____________________________________________________________ My Name _____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip __________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church __________________________________________________________ Denomination __________________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Programs. ADS GATHERED IN SPIRIT GAINING IN STRENGTH The first national ONA Exultation, meeting from October 13-15, 1995 in Cleveland, Ohio, was indeed “an exultation” due, in great measure, to the spirit and energy brought by 120 participants from all across the country. Many were from Open and Affirming churches in the United Church of Christ and Christian Church (Disciples) but a good number of those in attendance were from churches exploring or curious about the Open and Affirming process. Note Michael Kinnamon’s speech and Chris Smith’s sermon are available for $2.00 each. Send check (payable to UCCL/GC) with your name and address to: ONA-UCCL/GC, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520-0403. PLUGGING RESOURCES: John W. Lardin, Exultation program chair, highlights one of many resources available. ONE OF 8 WORKSHOPS: Gordon Svoboda II, a national staff person, leads a workshop on the UCC human sexuality curriculum. WELCOME: The Reverend Paul Sherry, president of the United Church of Christ, addresses Exultation participants. YET ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT: Open and Affirming program coordinator, Ann B. Day, addresses the audience. “Inspirational and rejuvenating!” “Truly a peak experience!” “Water upon dry land!” —Evaluation comments made by participants. In worship and workshops, through stories and songs, participants “exulted” in their common commitment to shaping faith communities that welcome all people—lesbian, bisexual, gay, and straight. —Ann B. Day DISCUSSING INCLUSIVENESS: Panel members (from left) Dorothy Gannon, Alvin Haven, Margarita Suarez, Ann B. Day, Bennie Whiten, Jr., and Keith Townsend explore inclusivity issues in the UCC. Photos: April Allison JUST PEACE PLAYERS: Massachusetts Conference group offers an original play, “Everything Possible.” From left: Deborah L. Clark, Kate Stevens, Rebecca Pugh Brown, Louise Green. YOUTH FOCUS WORKSHOP: Greg Anderson leads “Affirming Gay and Lesbian Youth: Strategies for Faith Communities.” HETEROSEXISM: Melanie Morrison leads a workshop on heterosexism issues. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: • Keynoter Michael Kinnamon, dean of Lexington Theological Seminary in Kentucky, speaks on “To Be Free and United in Christ.” • Closing Communion Service features preacher, Christine Smith, associate professor of preaching and worship, United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, Minnesota. • Cleveland Area North Coast Men’s Chorus perform in concert. First National ONA EXULTATION Aptly Named! 28 Open Hands MUSICAL LEADERSHIP: A joyful noise was made throughout the weekend thanks to Elaine Kirkland and Steven Cagle (not shown). Winter 1996 29 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, a total of 644 churches, campus ministries, judicatories, and national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including gay men and lesbians. This represents an increase of 39 percent over last year! The 644 welcoming communities are found in eight different denominations in forty-six states, the District of Columbia, and Canada. We have included eighty-five Unitarian Universalist Welcoming Congregations in the list for the first time this year. Following is a complete list of congregations, alphabetically by state and city, followed by a list of campus ministries, judicatories, and national ministries. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes: ML More Light (Presbyterian) ONA Open and Affirming (UCC) O&A Open and Affirming (Disciples) RIC Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) RC Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist) SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) W&A Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno Wesley UMC (RC) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) Hollywood First UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) LaVerne Ch.of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Angeles Hollywood UMC (RC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Faith Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fell. of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Glendale Rapha Menn. Fellowship (SCN) Phoenix Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Tucson First Christian (O&A) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) 30 Open Hands Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) UU Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan (ML, ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) Good Samaritan Presb. (ML) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) HAWAII Honolulu Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community (RC) INDIANA Bloomington Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Indianapolis Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) South Bend Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City ecumenikos (ML, ONA, O&A, RC) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) Third Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Dundalk Ch. of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Cong. UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ONA, ML) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational (ONA) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury Church of the United Community (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas University Lutheran (RIC) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Hamden U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) Rockville First Lutheran (RIC) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Church of the Reformation (RIC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Winter 1996 31 Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester First Baptist (W&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Coloma Coloma UMC (RC) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Ch.of the Breth. (SCN) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis Community of St. Martin (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud Univ. Luth. of the Epiphany (RIC) St. Paul Macalester-Plymouth United. (ML, ONA) Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEVADA N. Las Vegas Wesley UMC (RC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) NEW JERSEY Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Morristown Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) NEW MEXICO Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unit. Cong. Society (WEL) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matt.-Emmanuel Luth. (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Craryville Craryville UMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Kingston Trinity UMC (RC) Manhasser UU Cong. at Shelter Rock (WEL) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Church of St. Paul & St. Andrew (RC) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) The House Church (ONA) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First Unitarian (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) West Shore UU (WEL) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU (WEL) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Tulsa UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Cong. Church ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) 32 Open Hands Eugene Unit. of Eugene & Lake Co. (WEL) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Breth. (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) UTAH Salt Lake City South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Unitarian Church (WEL) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) WASHINGTON Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Cong. (ONA) Vancouver First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Eau Claire Ecumenical Religious Center (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Madison Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Church of the Reformation (RIC) Cross Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA ALBERTA Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver Unitarian Church (WEL) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) Pride Alliance, Chapman U., Orange (O&A) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A, ONA) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) LCM, SCS, St. Cloud (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) Wesley Fdn., Oh. Wesleyan, Delaware (RC) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA LCM at Kutztown (RIC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) WASHINGTON LCM, WU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN Luth. Stud. Movement, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES More Light Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Open and Affirming Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Open and Affirming Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Reconciled in Christ Synods (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania Reconciling Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Troy NATIONAL MINISTRIES Gen’l Comm. on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No. 3 - Valuing Difference, Part 2: Weaving Community from Diversity https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8dce664413bfe13f32040a848c7eae9c.pdf b9ef4171d679434ddc18d059f1226fef Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 11 No. 4 Spring 1996 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American) the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 4 Spring 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality NAMING THE CONFLICT Caught In Between! 5 ALLEN V. HARRIS Do you feel caught on orientation issues? A Letter from Corinth—and a Response 6 JOHN ALDRIDGE AND ELDERS, CORINTH Homosexual behavior named rebellion against God. JOHN A. EKMAN, SARATOGA SPRINGS A pastor of ONA/ML church invites further dialogue. At Issue for Us 8 GEORGE WILLIAMSON, JR. Pastor of disfellowshipped Baptist church speaks out. Shall Unmarried Couples Be Introduced Together? 9 TIM EUDY Church adopts compromise solution. LIVING WITH CONFLICT Living with our Dif ferences 10 BRENDA J. MOULTON AND HOWARD MILLER Lesbian pastor and deacon live with unresolved issues. Faithful to our Past and Future 12 J. BENNETT GUESS Kentucky church stays rooted, looks ahead. Conflicts of Conscience 14 MARTHA JUILLERAT Former pastor reflects on Presbyterian conflicts. Modeling Skills for Living with Conflict 15 IGNACIO CASTUERA Gutierrez, 23rd Psalm, and a hymn provide clues. We Need Each Other (poem) ALICE G. KNOTTS 15 Living with Institutional Conflicts 16 ROBERT W. MATTHEIS AND SIERRA PACIFIC SYNOD COUNCIL Bishop tries creative solutions; council takes actions. CHURCH CONFLICT: Living with It! Learning from It! Spring 1996 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (ELCA) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-2730 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA)) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Next issue: Airing Out Closets ONE MORE SELECTED MOVEMENT WELCOMING WORD RESOURCES NEWS CHURCHES LIST 24 28 29 29 Conflicts of Autonomy 18 BRENDA J. MOULTON Two Baptist groups disfellowship W&A churches. Saving Face/Saving Relationship 19 VIRSTAN B.Y. CHOY Asian conflict management style offers model for us. LEARNING FROM CONFLICT Living Relationships: Living in Christ 20 JOHN LINSCHEID “What would Jesus do?”— the right question? Engaging in Civil Discourse 22 DONALD E. BOSSART Denver experiment provides a model. Three Keys to Solving Conflict 24 HERBERT W. CHILSTROM Retired bishop identifies keys and miracles. Sowing Trust at the Borders: A Response to Subversion 26 ALICE G. KNOTTS Practice caution before embracing ethic of subversion. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Prayers Slow us down, Sacred Spirit GEORGEANNE WILCOXSON 4 Holy Word ROB CUMMINGS 4 Creative Conversationalist LAURENE LAFONTAINE 7 Passionate God SCOTT ANDERSON 9 Sacred Potter LAURIE KRAUS 13 God of all time and space ROBERT W. MATTHEIS 17 Eternal God JOHN TROMPEN 19 Holy Word RICHARD KOTERAS 25 Liturgy Living in the Tensions DAVID D. OTTO 27 Prayers from More Light Prayers are used with grateful appreciation to the writers, Chris Glaser (editor), and More Light Update newsletter, PLGC, P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. 4 Open Hands Spring 1996 5 Caught between a rock and a hard place. Is that how it feels to you? That’s how it feels for many congregations. On one side is the “rock” of the church with its hardened positions on human sexuality and intolerance toward lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. On the other is the “hard place” of extra- church organizations demanding immediate transformation of church polity and ingrained beliefs about human sexuality. When there seems simply to be no way to please either camp, some churches ignore the situation entirely. Several forces at work within a congregation encourage this disregard. Daunting Forces for Inaction Exterior forces confronting local congregations who might advocate on behalf of lesbians and gay men are daunting. The debate, for many reasons, advances extremely explicit and antithetical choices. Congregations surmise that either they must be completely inclusive, not only of lesbians and gay men, but also of the entire variety of human sexual identity, as well as affirming each of their concerns—or they must be totally silent on the topic. Rather than seeking to understand the human dimensions embraced by such labels or the possibilities for renewal offered by such challenges, church leaders shut down. Interior pressures also exert their force. Often a local church includes a breadth of persons, with different levels of understanding and urgency toward the topic of gay and lesbian rights. Some are clearly on one side of the issue or the other. Others may be parents of lesbians and gay men who, on the one hand passionately love their children, but on the other hand know that the church has been their social circle as well as their place of inspiration. How can they stand up for their children and risk losing an important group of peers? Still others may be persons devoted to causes of peace and justice. These folks have pressed their congregation on every issue from resistance to the Vietnam war to recycling soda bottles after church dinners. They too might fear addressing the question. If they risk pushing this volatile topic too far, they might lose all hope of making headway on other progressive issues. Ultimately, some lesbians and gay men themselves are ambiguous about what stands their congregations should take. Some fear that if the congregation takes a “welcoming” position, they will be forced to come out before they are ready. Others worry that if the church becomes known as a “gay church,” many lesbians and gay men will flock to it, causing the congregation’s membership to become resentful of all the gay/lesbian folk, themselves included. Still, they retain a nagging feeling that as long as the congregation doesn’t make a statement of acceptance and advocacy, they will never really be accepted. With such a diverse gathering of tensions within and beyond church walls, it is no wonder that some local congregations are flustered. The confusion can be nothing less than overwhelming. Steps toward Action Our challenge is to not resign ourselves to the debate as it has been framed, but to allow ourselves to seek a new way—one that is crafted with guidance from the Holy Spirit. We must chart paths which do justice to the unique makeup of our individual congregations. We must examine our own unique dynamics as we seek to respond to the divine call for justice. Those with parents of lesbians and gays in the congregation might begin by affirming their avenues of support, assuring them that no matter what happens, they are a cherished part of the community. Those with social activists might insure that no single issue gets pitted against another and that the community as a whole takes seriously all the concerns raised. Those who know lesbians and gay men in their church might promise them that each step the congregation takes will be intentional and measured, but that the congregation is committed to the equality of all its members. Those congregations caught in the crossfire of society’s debate might develop avenues for measured discernment so that vitriolic either/ or positioning is discouraged. The great wisdom of the biblical faith is that ours is a journey toward the holy; the final destination is not ours to design. Yes, we must always be straining for the marks of justice, compassion, kindness, and humility; but such a journey involves many steps along the way. Every step will be as important as the previous one and as critical as the next. No Need to be Caught Ultimately, we cannot avoid being caught “in between.” The prophet Isaiah reminds us that God bids us to “maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come and my deliverance will be revealed” (Isa 56:1). Neither can we tarry long. The Good News of the gospel demands proclamation and all people (including persons who are transgendered, bisexual, gay, lesbian, as well as all those who are committed to our place in the church) need to hear it. Nor do we need to be “caught in between.” When a rock and a hard place come together, the resulting spark might create fire. The resulting warmth could be the salvation of the church.▼ Allen V. Harris, pastor of Park Avenue Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in New York City, also serves as developer for the Open & Affirming Ministries Program of the GLAD Alliance. By Allen V. Harris 6 Open Hands ous diseases, alcoholism, violence, and perhaps even homosexuality. Christians believe that, by his death and resurrection, Jesus Christ brought about a healing of our break with God, paving the way also for a healing of the brokenness of the individual. Healing in this life results in the transformation of a person’s character and, sometimes, even physical restoration. At the very least, God provides new strength to live according to his will. The key to be experiencing this healing is repentance: a recognition of one’s brokenness and a turning from one’s former lifestyle and dependence on one’s self; a turning to the forgiveness, grace and full life offered by Jesus Christ. By endorsing the homosexual lifestyle without repentance, the Saratoga church is actually undercutting the power of Christ to restore and heal. Far from leading people closer to God and to true wholeness, they are choosing to accept a broken condition as normal, thus leading their people away from God and into further bondage. Homosexual persons are definitely welcome to worship in our church, and, most probably, in any Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). However, like all the rest of us broken persons, they are called to repent and receive the gospel and allow Christ to lead them in a new way. Ordination of someone who refuses to repent of any broken behavior and refuses to seek to cease such behavior is impossible. We call on our sister church to turn back from this divisive and destructive new policy and to continue its long history of being a loving and reconciling body. —Rev. John Aldridge and Elders, First Presbyterian Church, Corinth, New York.▼ Source This letter was published in The Saratogian on Sunday 9 July 1995 and reprinted in More Light Update, December 1995. Used with permission of pastor. JULY 3—We were dismayed to learn of our sister Saratoga Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church’s decision to ordain active homosexual persons to ministry as elders and deacons. It is a clear violation of our denomination’s position against gay ordination; it is a grave disservice to homosexuals; and it is a basic betrayal of the gospel. Far from being God’s intention for creation, homosexuality is rather just one more example of the general brokenness of humanity stemming from human rebellion against God from the very beginning. This brokenness or sin is the root of our self-centeredness, pride, greed and resultant loneliness, pain and suffering. The breaking of humanity seems even to have affected our genetic makeup, as evidenced by genetic aberrations that may lead to vari- 4 August 1995 Dear Pastor, Elders, and Members of the First Presbyterian Church, Corinth: I am in receipt of your July 1995 letter and I read it in the Sunday Saratogian... I realize that our actions to become a More Light family go against the official stand of our denomination, but it seems to me that in a world rife with prejudice and barriers, the new community of God ought to be able to do better re: the ordination of homosexuals than our military’s policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” I have known too many excellent and creative homosexual pastors and laity to be able to dismiss so easily their contribution to the faith journeys of those within the family of the church. It is my belief that our church authority is wrong on this issue and that, in a hundred or so years, the national church will treat gay and lesbian ordination in the same way we now treat the ordination and leadership of women and African Americans. As you know, even these latter groups have been, and sometimes still are, the subject of debate and biblical controversy, but much of the earlier passion and prejudice has quelled with time, understanding, and appreciation for the contributions women and African Americans have made. Before that kind of change and openness comes to the gay and lesbian community, an up-to-date conscience, informed by scripture, is ultimately the authority to which I as a Christian yield... Your letter declares that our stand is “...against the gospel...” You’re free to say that, but making such an unequivocal judgment from your faith perspective does not necessarily make the statement any more correct than folks before Columbus declaring “The world is flat.” Your missive also makes it quite clear that you know with certainty the mindset of the Almighty at the time of creation. I do not accept that the two (different) Genesis creation stories where people were created male and female and where we are also directed to be vegetarians and be fruitful and multiply, are the last word for human understanding of God’s creative intentions. As a “child of the fall” I like red meat, and, of all the commandments, “be fruitful A church identifies homosexual behavior as rebellion against God. Spring 1996 7 and multiply” is one the world’s people have kept with dangerous abandon! I also do not hold that it was the Genesis writers’ intentions to set all the parameters of all created life. For me Genesis 1 and 2 sets the stage of salvation history: God’s good creation being challenged by our free will to create greedy relationships, unloving barriers, and less than well thought-out prejudices. It is my belief that God made the world good and that healthy community where each individual can develop and share their gifts is a goal of the divine plan. I can not say with a clear conscience that God intended from the very beginning to exclude a group of loving and decent people whose only deviation (which hurts no one) is their sexual orientation. Note: I know that anal sex and the spread of AIDS hurts many—my own nephew died of AIDS prior to the time when “safe sex” was being urged upon the gay community. While I take a very dim view of gays having unprotected sex, I am not willing to allow “the AIDS problem” to taint my general attitude toward homosexuals or their ordination... ...I appreciate your awareness that research into the gene and bio-chemical complexity of our human nature is applicable and should be factored into our understanding of God’s truths as contained in scripture. From my vantage point we have to be very careful in...equating behavioral disease with states of being. Your letter seems to lump violence, alcoholism, and homosexuality into one gene genre. You are correct that research is beginning to show that (1) negative social activity like violence and a predisposition to alcoholism might be related to gene defects or biochemical imbalances. We also know that (2) certain diseases are related to our biological make-up: Alzheimer’s, cystic fibrosis, sickle-cell anemia, etc. And we know that (3) natural hair color, eye color, and male or femaleness are biologically determined. You and I would apparently disagree as to whether homosexuality should fall into category (1) or (3). While we both believe the healing power of faith can cure some behaviors, it does not correct the underlying genetic [disposition]. Unlike violence and alcoholism, which we agree are destructive to self and society, I do not believe that homosexuals are destructive when acting responsibly according to their heredity. Since the majority of homosexuals I know, like my heterosexual friends, are decent, creative, caring people who have served the church well, I am prone to put their gayness or lesbianism in the last category (3). This obviously affects my attitude toward their ordination and their “need” to be made whole... When I moderated your session many years ago, I had the pleasure of working with Chris Von Seggern. I know that she, along with other women, makes a wonderful and much needed contribution to your church family. Chris also signed your letter as Clerk of Session. While I believe it can be shown that there are different interpretations and translations [for biblical references on same-sex conduct], it appears to my best reading that there is absolutely no conflict of interpretations in 1 Timothy 2:9-15 regarding women as teachers and leaders or in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 regarding elders being male only, not divorced... ...I would be interested in knowing how you can use a few debatable scriptures to inform your rather unyielding stand on homosexuals while (apparently) totally ignoring a very clear and unequivocal scriptural directive as to the place of women in church leadership and education? You might agree with me and take the position that portions of 1 Timothy are out of date and inappropriate... If we adapt 1 Timothy to fit our positive experience of women in the church, why not factor in the wonderful contributions and decency of gays and lesbians we know and then do the same with New Testament scriptures that could narrowly be interpreted as anti-homosexual? Well—sorry to take up so much space and time, but I thought your concerns worthy of as thoughtful a response as I could muster at the moment. I would be happy at any time to come personally and share with you folks if you thought that helpful to build bridges of honest Christian understanding... Warm regards, John (Jay) A. Ekman, pastor Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church (More Light and ONA) Saratoga Springs, New York ▼ Source This letter is excerpted from a longer one originally sent to the church in Corinth and later published in More Light Update, December 1995. Used with permission of pastor. 8 Open Hands There is a tide in human affairs (to borrow Tennyson’s meaning) which should be taken at the flood. Now is such a time. It is the best and worst of times. It is the fullness of time (Dickens’ characterization of social revolution). It is kairos, that biblical moment when something good, with God at the bottom of it, breaks through history’s logjam. For millennia sexual minorities have been despised, harassed, oppressed, and scattered. Yet in the quirkiness of the human spirit, against all odds, their time has come. As often has been the case, religion is the last to recognize the breakthrough of God. Religion is the last and most passionate to defend the old order. Again, it is the story of our times. Much good has come from the Gaylesbian Uprising.1 Forcibly closeted people have come out. Committed relationships have been blessed and nourished. Yet another injustice has been publicly exposed. Community has been formed, complete with public institutions. From the stuff of silence, shame, and loneliness has come an occasion to find new wineskins for ever-new wine in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Members of First Baptist, Granville, Ohio, for overlapping, prosaic reasons, came to see the Gaylesbian Uprising as a good thing. A year ago, this old church resolved to stand openly with the Uprising. Our doing so has brought the Baptist branch of the body of Christ to crisis. Crisis (the intersection of judgment and promise) only comes when there is power to take up the promise. Our witness, along with that of a small number of other churches, is to the advent of that power. According to our great chorus of critics, however, we have been disloyal, have caused division, and worst, have violated scripture. Here is our response. Disloyalty Jesus, in loyalty to God, said, “I come not to bring peace, but division.” Amos, loyal to Hebrew religion, cried, “I hate, I despise your feasts.” Luther, lieved pattern of social injustice. This, on biblical grounds, is a bad way to interpret scripture. Second, at issue for us is the reality of the Gaylesbian Uprising. Despite its overpublicized excesses, the stigmatized sick are cared for, the closeted are being released, and the humiliated and alienated are healed. In the gaylesbian community, homes are formed, public injustices are exposed, and a sexual minority is getting in touch with the full range of its powers.2 Against such there is no prohibition. Indeed, the “shameless,” “unnatural,” “unlawful” sex referred to in the above passages does not describe committed relationships or contemporary gaylesbian life. Finally, at issue for us is the urgent call to Christian evangelism. The gospel has been snatched from the gaylesbian community. God has been presented to gay and lesbian people as a vengeful Being who is revolted by who they are. Humane straight people have watched churches being mean and cruel for love of such a God. But Jesus gave his life precisely to correct this image of God and this sort of religion. It is our chief calling to mediate God’s healing love where it is most wanting. Today this place is the gaylesbian community.▼ Notes 1Editor’s note: “Gaylesbian Uprising” is not a universally used term; others refer to “gay/ lesbian movement” or “les/bi/gay movement.” 2This is a paraphrase of Jesus’ evaluation of his own controversial movement (Matt 11:3- 6). George Williamson, Jr., Ph.D., is pastor of First Baptist, Granville, Ohio (see p. 30), the first church in the history of the American Baptist Churches, USA to be disfellowshipped for standing with the gay and lesbian community. He is writing a book, Religion of the Wrong Side: Gaylesbian Uprising and the Breakthrough of God. still loyal to his church, stood on its scripture against his church. Martin Luther King, Jr., in fierce loyalty to America, violated America’s laws. Loyalty without integrity is supreme disloyalty. Division Our denomination, like most others, passed anti-gaylesbian legislation stating that “Homosexual practice is incompatible with Christian teaching.” According to the pain of les/bi/gay sisters and brothers—pain inflicted by that judgment and the overlapping waves of social oppression thundering from it—division is already caused. We have simply crossed the dividing line. We have simply joined those who are divided off. We have caused no division. Rather, we hope that our predominantly straight church in a straight, heartland, small town can be a bridge of reconciliation across this gaping wound in the body of Christ. Violation At issue for our critics are four obscure passages in Leviticus 18-20, Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, and 1 Timothy 1. Also at issue for them is a heterosexist interpretation of the creation story and a homophobic interpretation of the Sodom story. To these they add everything negative the Bible says about sex. At issue for us, first of all, is a history of biblical interpretation which has led to a succession of monstrous social evils: the Crusades, witch trials, inquisitions, murders of church dissenters, suppressions of modern scientists and early democrats, anti-Semitic pogroms, legitimation of slavery, massive opposition to abolition, violence toward the civil rights movement and countless social revolutions, and the ongoing oppression of women. The bottom line of biblical law, said Jesus, is selfless love of God and neighbor, “by [which] fruits shall you know them.” Traditional interpretation of the above mentioned passages has led to the closet, gay bashing, and an unre- By George Williamson, Jr. Spring 1996 9 In October 1994 a gay couple joined our church. Brent and Jerry’s sponsor, Pam, introduced them to the congregation using the word “companion” to connect them. Pam felt comfortable enough to use this word to acknowledge their relationship to the congregation. I wasn’t ready for the next three months of response. Two members from our congregation expressed concern to our pastor about the introduction and questioned what it meant. One member’s husband came to the church council shortly after the introduction and asked the council to consider a policy in which only married couples would be introduced together. Anyone who was not married would be introduced individually. Well, I just about hit the roof. I’m sure some people felt I had. I will not go into all the discussions that preceded the January 1995 council meeting, but it was quite interesting and yet painful. It was one of the largest ever attended. The man who had come to the council meeting proposing his own policy of introduction was back again. Dan and I (along with Brent and Jerry) were there. I had asked some heterosexual married couples in our church to come and speak on our behalf. Others came on KNOWN COMPANIONS: Tim Eudy (left) and his companion Dan Hill have been members of Advent Lutheran Church in Charlotte, North Carolina for eleven years. their own. I was so grateful. It’s so hard to put on paper what we went through before, during, and after the meeting. I really felt a lot of anger about the meeting because I thought our church was so far beyond this type of petty stuff. I think we really were, but it is often possible for a few people to set policies by just being loud and vocal. After a lengthy discussion, we came up with a compromise that seemed to work for everyone: It is recommended that the introduction of members be made in a way that is comfortable and acceptable for the new members under the guidance of the pastor. It is recognized that the use of terms such as companions, friends, partners, etc. is not an affirmation of a relationship, but the recognition that a relationship exists; and we recognize that all people are welcome to the family of God and the family of Advent Lutheran Church. I felt a lot of anger when I was accused of blowing this incident out of proportion. It was a very serious issue for me. I hope it is for you too. I hope none of you ever have to go through some of the things that happened to us. May God bless each and every one of you.▼ By Tim Eudy 10 Open Hands Two years ago a closeted lesbian pastor of a small, rural American Baptist congregation in Rhode Island was challenged by one of the deacons to disclose her sexual orientation. After a series of meetings, in which the pastor came out, the church turned down a recommendation by the Board of Deacons to ask for her resignation. On the second anniversary of this decision, the pastor and deacon reflect. Why Howie Took Action Brenda: It all started on Martin Luther King Sunday... I used a prepared litany on the oppression of the black community and how oppression still exists in the world today...and there was this “list”... Howie: Yeah... (joint laughter) Brenda ...and in the list, it said “gay and lesbian people.” I struggled about whether to take that phrase out. Howie: ...and I picked up on it. I had suspected for a while that you were gay. I thought I should call a few key people in the church and let them know my feelings. Everything went from there. Brenda: That was two years ago. And we’re still here! Howie: Right! ( joint laughter) Brenda: So, what was it that concerned you? Howie: I want be able to go to my pastor with moral issues and have them respond in a biblical sense. But if they’re not following what I consider to be a biblical principle, then how can I rely on them for anything else? And I certainly didn’t know much about you at the time...so... Brenda: According to your interpretation of scripture, homosexuality is wrong, and here I was as pastor saying “I’m gay and homosexuality is OK.” That went against everything you believe, so therefore, how could I be your pastor and proclaim the gospel? Howie: Exactly. That was the major conflict for me. Brenda: Another concern in the congregation was “What about the kids?” Not in the sense of what I would DO to the kids...but rather “You’re the pastor, the kids like you, you’re a role model. This ‘life-style’ isn’t something we want our children to follow. If you stay, how are we going to reconcile that?” So, in addition to your concern about my being the pastor and leading the congregation, others had this question of my mentoring the children. Howie: Exactly. Unresolved Issues Brenda: So, although the church didn’t call for my resignation, we still haven’t resolved these two issues. Howie: I guess not, not for everybody. I think it’s up to the parents to teach the children. I don’t necessarily think that you being there is going to sway them one way or another. As for being a pastor, well I certainly feel you are called by God. That one issue of your sexuality, that’s between you and God. It’s out of my hands...that’s how I’ve resolved it. Brenda: So we agree that we disagree, but the difference is still there? Howie: It’s always going to be there. The only way it can be resolved is either you have to see my point and change, or I have to see your point and change. I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. Brenda: Maybe that’s the point. So many people use so much energy trying to convince the other person that “I’m right, you’re wrong, and in order for us to live together, you’ve got to agree with me.” Howie: That’s not happening here. Why People Didn’t Leave Brenda: What keeps us in ministry together in the midst of our differences? Howie: For me, I’ve got to trust God. He’s either going to have to point out to one or the other of us that we’re wrong, or work around it, or work with it; but, bottom line, it’s God’s job. Brenda: So the resolution for you is in letting it go and letting God be in control. You did what you felt you needed to do. I did what I felt I needed to do. Then we just say “OK, God, the rest is up to you?” Howie: That’s right...and it’s no longer an issue. Brenda: And not one person has left the church, as far as we know, over the issue of my sexuality. Howie: That’s right. Brenda: What is it about our church that kept people there? Howie: Well, the way I feel about the church is, if I leave for everything I disagree with, I could change churches for the rest of my life and never be happy. I’m happy with everything and everyone here. There’s just too strong a nucleus to let anything break it up. Brenda: But that’s not typical. What holds us together? Howie: God...the Holy Spirit. I have no other explanation. Brenda: It does seem so simple. When I tell my story to people, they always ask, “How many people left?” When I say By Brenda J. Moulton and Howard Miller Spring 1996 11 “Nobody,” they ask “Well, what about the guy who made the phone calls?” When I respond, “Oh, he’s still there. I baptized his son last summer,” they can’t believe it. (joint laugher) When I’m asked why people haven’t left, I explain that people are committed to their ministry, to the church, to Christ, to living out what they feel called to do, and so they’re still there doing it. Howie: Yeah. Brenda: Yet so many other people would say “My commitment to God says I have to leave. I can’t stay in this place where there’s this sin.” People use the same argument, their commitment to Christ, to leave. Howie: That reminds me of the scripture where Jesus said “I come to heal the sick.” I don’t need to go to a church where everybody’s all set. Brenda: The scripture I thought of was “Christ is our peace and has broken down the walls of hostility between us.” Howie: It may seem that it was a drastic issue for me at the time, but it’s no worse than someone who smokes, or someone who gets pregnant out of marriage, or someone who cheats on his wife. There are no scales of points on sin—sin is sin. Brenda: The difference here is that I don’t say that homosexuality is sinful, whereas most people would agree that cheating on your wife is a sin. Still, I agree, if my relationship with Pat were a sinful relationship, it wouldn’t be any worse than any of those other sins. Howie: A lot of pastors smoke, and drink, and everything else, and it’s worse to hide it than it is to say, hey, I do it, that’s the way it is. Brenda: So does the fact that I’m open about my sexuality make it easier for you to tolerate the difference? Howie: Sure. If you really think something’s wrong, you’re going to hide it. How God Is Working in Us Brenda: How do you feel God working in our church or with you or me in this issue? Howie: He’s keeping us all together. Obviously he’s there. So many faithful people are congregating nearly every Sunday—and even more people showing up now. Brenda: Do you think there’s any connection between what we’ve been through and the growth we’re experiencing now? Howie: Yes. There’s tolerance for accepting other people for who they are. Brenda: I agree. Because we grappled with the issue of sexuality, we became more sensitive and willing to struggle with each other on tough issues. We are getting new people from many different theological points of view and church backgrounds. They feel that who they are and what they believe is welcomed in our church. Howie: Right! We don’t challenge each other with different doctrine and scripture. There’s no need to talk about it because it’s not that big a deal any more. Brenda: In a way, though, we are continuing to deal with it. I used to use sexual orientation as an example when I named how people are discriminated against. I’ve dropped that because I don’t want to be “in your face.” Yet, every time I stand up in that pulpit I’m saying something about my beliefs about sexuality. How has that affected how you see me as your pastor? Howie: Well it’s changed because you haven’t done anything. Everything else seems to be in line with what I believe and what I think the scriptures say. You’re the first person I call when I have something I need to talk about and when I need Christian advice. Brenda: The fact that we disagree over the interpretation of parts of scripture doesn’t negate what I say about everything else? Howie: Not at all. This seems to be the only issue. Advice for Other Churches Brenda: What advice would you have for other churches in a conflict like we went through, whether it was about sexuality or some other issue? Howie: Take a look at yourself first. The scripture says “Remove the plank from your own eye.” And trust God and the Holy Spirit. Brenda: We maintained respect for one another and for our opinions—even when those opinions differed. We saw the Christ in the other and valued God’s creation in that other person. Howie: Yes, and if you have compassion for people, you’ll get through whatever you have to get through. A lot of things boil down to compassion for people. You either have it or you don’t. If you don’t, you’ll be very narrow because your way is the only way. If you have it, sometimes you have to see the other side even if you never agree with it.▼ DEEP IN CONVERSATION: Brenda J. Moulton, pastor, and Howard Miller, deacon, of Chestnut Hill Baptist Church, Exeter, Rhode Island, continue their dialogue. Brenda is also coordinator of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. Howie teaches the Jr. High Sunday School class. 12 Open Hands Zion United Church of Christ in Henderson, Kentucky knows the tension between honoring a congregation’s rich history and hearing a call toward progressive ministries. Organized in 1871, this little downtown German Evangelical congregation still worships in its original historic sanctuary built in 1873. This year, we are celebrating 125 years of ministry and service. In 1992, however, a remnant of only twelve faithful elderly members remained. The church was forced to make some hard decisions. With all the makings of a made-for-TV movie, these courageous members—ranging in age from 76 to 92—committed all church savings to one intensive year of radical renewal. They knew that Zion was not dead, but would be, unless drastic measures were taken. Desiring to return to my hometown to start an intentional, inclusive Christian community, I knew Zion UCC and its urban-related neighborhood would be a great place for this type of covenantbased community. I was hired by Zion Church to implement a progressive vision of congregational renewal. Since that time, the new has remarkably blended with the old. Zion remains a distinctively historic, but diverse, place of worship and service. We have 150 members and a worshipping community of about 220. This year, fifty-eight people wrote covenants to live and work as an intentional community. The original elderly members—now ages 80 to 96—are confirmed supporters of the church’s transformation. Believing that Zion has the potential to double its membership in the next three years, the Indiana-Kentucky UCC Conference and the United Church Board for Homeland Ministries are now offering assistance. How well we understand the tensions between historic loyalties and the spirit’s leading to new avenues of opportunity! The increase in membership has caused some internal growing pains. Also the church’s decisions to hire an openly gay pastor, to become an open and affirming congregation, and most recently, to volunteer to house the city’s first Planned Parenthood Health Clinic, have created external dissension by a few fundamentalist pastors and congregations. Some right-wing folks have been most upset about our inclusive language commitments. God is definitely not feminine, they insist. While the external tension can be frustrating, the internal atmosphere must not get mired in the same kind of discord and disrespect. The storm without cannot become the storm within. Six suggestions we here at Zion have to offer to other churches who are living in the midst of conflict include: Remember the covenant. Remind people of the covenant. Find opportunities to discuss— again and again—what it means to be a covenant people. Set up structures which make people accountable to a covenant relationship. For Zion, this has meant an annual process of covenant-making and plenty of opportunities to check up on how we are doing with these promises to one another. Potential members spend a period of time in covenant groups discussing the meaning of living in covenant—a novitiate of sorts. Change your method of conducting business. Instead of using a democratic form of government (most votes wins), implement a consensus model of decision- making. Remember, the process is just as important as the outcome. Consensus is much more than “unanimous vote.” Instead, it requires possible dissenters and nay-sayers to voice concerns up front. In the end, consensus means all parties can live with a decision and support it for the good of the whole congregation. Do not assume that older members will automatically take the conservative position. Experience teaches me that middle aged parishioners are sometimes the most reluctant to welcome change—they’re just getting settled into current traditions. By J. Bennett Guess Spring 1996 13 Encourage ways to enhance creativity, imagination, and celebration. Many churches have forgotten the value of programs and activities which stimulate joy and creativity in people of all ages. Thus, we have inhibited the freeflow of ideas and weakened our abilities to visualize something different from present reality. Sponsor creativity classes. Create an art gallery. Invite people to draw with their non-dominant hand. Pass out crayons and play dough at potlucks. Write and read poetry. Vary the musical offerings of the church. Congregations that better utilize the performing and visual arts in worship and education are more likely to invite the imagination into times of decision- making. And the church will be a lot more fun! In the midst of change, rely on historical methods of spiritual growth and support. Read more scripture. Offer more opportunities for prayer and communion. Hold more hands. Give more hugs. Talk it through. Spend time with any dissenters. Utilize house worship. Hold fast to the covenant. Remember to be a church— not a political party, not a business, not a club—but a church. It’s what the church should do best. Remind one another of kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. And over all of these, put on love which binds the rest together and makes them perfect.▼ J. Bennett Guess is pastor of Zion United Church of Christ, an intentional, inclusive Christian community in Henderson, Kentucky. Be a congregation or a pastor that is guided by principle and character, not church growth. “Numbers” is not the name of the game. Reality is that some people may leave. However, remember that courageous churches will attract new people. And understand that new ideas are often at odds with the past. Recognize this as a pastoral care priority, but not as an impossible task. Know your congregation’s history and relate current struggles to past events. During both world wars, anti-German prejudice was so strong that Zion Church felt the sting. Hateful rumors were circulated that one German-American church member, a baker, was grinding up glass and putting it into pastries. The prejudice nearly destroyed his business. In the 1950s, Zion Church and its pastor, the Rev. Theodore Braun, led the way against the racist White Citizens Council and their planned boycott of public schools during racial integration. Also, for many years, the congregation sponsored a boy scout troop which equally included Zion’s children and Jewish children from the neighborhood. Through close personal friendships, the church came to recognize the pain of anti- Semitism. Remember, liberation is not a new idea; it is deeply rooted in our church histories and the stories of scripture. Go down, Moses, way down in Egypt’s land... 14 Open Hands This great principle, drafted in 1788, gave rise to the Reformation when Martin Luther, John Calvin, and others declared that no one individual or church hierarchy could dictate the judgment of a private individual. Today, the Historic Principles of Church Order of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) begin with this statement.1 The Reformed faith places great importance on the freedom of conscience. We are guided by a number of confessions of faith, rather than bound by a prescribed doctrine. We trust the Spirit to inform and lead us. This principle also calls us to a high level of individual and corporate responsibility. All church members are compelled by our Reformed tradition to read and study the scripture and confessions in search of new truths for a new world. Karl Barth, one of the greatest Reformed theologians of this century, said that we should always have a Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. This combination of freedom and responsibility has led the Presbyterian church into numerous conflicts of conscience. When abolitionists found their voices in the mid-19th century, conflict led to a split in the denomination. In the 1920s and 1930s, heated debates over creation and evolution almost split the church again. During the civil rights movement, hundreds of Presbyterians marched for freedom while countless congregations fled to the suburbs. For decades, women cried out for recognition of their gifts. As their voices were finally heard, dozens of congregations, which could not “in good conscience” ordain women, left to join more conservative branches of the Presbyterian church. It seems a tension has always existed between our responsibility to maintain the “peace, unity, and purity of the church” and our call to heed the words of the prophets in our midst.2 The “More Light” churches movement arose within this very tension. In 1978, when the General Assembly issued a statement essentially banning ordination of gays and lesbians, the lone voices of David Sindt, Bill Silver, and a few others began crying out in the wilderness, declaring this action to be little more than Bible-based bigotry. Over time, a few congregations declared they could not “in good conscience” be guided by this action. In the spirit of “the church reformed, always reforming,” these congregations took the Bible in one hand and the works of history, culture, science, and medicine in the other. With their collective declaration that there was “yet more light” to be shed and thus the church’s ban could not stand as the final word, the More Light movement was born.3 More Light congregations live within a tension that is peculiarly Reformed. A More Light congregation is nothing more than one which has made a public statement welcoming gay, lesbian, and bisexual people into full membership and participation within the life of the church, including ordained office. Individual Presbyterian churches are free to make such statements of conscience. However, all churches are bound to uphold the actions of the General Assembly, which disallows ordination of lesbigay folk. So conflict occurs when a church acts on its beliefs and actually calls a gay person to be ordained as a deacon, elder, or minister. Dozens of church judicial cases have come and gone, but little has been resolved. Feeling the tensions of its Reformed roots and its long history of theological diversity, the denomination itself has been loathe to take decisive action. As a result, several More Light churches have been threatened with action, dragged into judicial cases, or forced to back off ordaining elders. However, no More Light church has been forced against its will to rescind a statement. No More Light church has actually been “taken over” or closed. The conscience of the church remains free, even while it is not free to act on it. The conscience of the church remains free, even while it is not free to act on it As long as this tension exists, there is hope for change. As long as prophets are free to speak, as long as More Light churches continue to declare their own conscience, as long as we remain faithful to what we believe is just and true, hearts will be moved. Our faith, along with that of all Presbyterians, is that Jesus Christ alone is the church’s hope. As long as this is true, we have faith that the Spirit will lead us through this conflict to a new place of reconciliation.▼ Notes 1Book of Order, G-1.0300. 2Book of Order, G-14.0405 and Book of Confessions, 5.144,147. 3“More Light” is from John Robinson: “We limit not the truth of God to our poor reach of mind...by notions of our day and sect...crude, partial and confined. No, let a new and better hope with our hearts be stirred, for God hath yet more light and truth to break forth from the Word through the Spirit.” (1620). AWARD WINNER: Martha Juillerat (right) poses with her partner Tammy (center) and Carol Seaton, who had just presented Martha with the Inclusive Church Award at Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns during General Assembly in 1995. Martha set aside her ordination in September 1995 in protest of her denomination’s treatment of gay, lesbian, and bisexual folk. She currently owns a painting and wallpapering business in Kansas City, Missouri. By Martha Juillerat Spring 1996 15 Gustavo Gutierrez once remarked that the commandment to love our enemies presupposes an earlier commandment: make enemies. Christians who engage in the ministry of reconciliation must not forget that reconciliation presupposes a situation of conflict. The most important skill to demonstrate in such a case is to accept the reality of conflict. Church people do not live well with conflict; most simply assume that the church should be a place of peace and comfort. Pastors and laity who understand and accept their prophetic role need to educate other parishioners to the reality, and even desirability, of conflict. M. Scott Peck reminds us that the church pretends to be the body of Christ, but then forgets that the body was lacerated, wounded, stretched to the maximum, and finally killed. Having said that, one must go on to the commandment to love one’s enemies. Those who disagree with us need to be loved by us, prayed over by us, invited to the communion table by us. The Twenty-third Psalm provides us with an older image of dealing with the enemies: Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. The preposition before is extremely important. It is not for me that the table is set. It is before me but my opponent is not excluded from it. My opponent might not want to participate, but it is my obligation to remind the opponent that the God who knows and loves us both is the one who has set the table. Our hymnody also picks up this theme in “Help Us Accept Each Other.” Let your acceptance change us so that we may be moved in living situations to do the truth in love; to practice your acceptance, until we know by heart the table of forgiveness and laughter’s healing art.1 Finally, as the hymn also suggests, a dose of humor is an important skill to practice in conflictive situations. The words humor, humble, and human are all connected by the root word humus— dirt, ground, earth. When we remember we all come from the same dirt, earth, we will find common ground.▼ Note 1Fred Kaan, 1974, verse 3. Ignacio Castuera is pastor of Hollywood United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in Hollywood, California. By Ignacio Castuera 16 Open Hands January 1995— Bishop Writes to Synod On several occasions during the past months I have been asked about how I intend to respond to several issues which I inherited when I was elected to this office. Each time I indicated that I did not intend to act in haste, but would take time for consultation and reflection. I believe the time has come for me to indicate how I will respond... 1 St. Paul says to the Colossians (8:12): “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” These words give clear direction as to how we might live together with the differences that emerge from our varied experiences of life... As you know, the San Francisco and the East Bay Conferences have each elected deans who are not rostered clergy of the ELCA. In reviewing this situation, both conferences have indicated that they wish to continue with their present leadership. In addition, St. Paul Lutheran Church in Oakland continues to be served by Pastor Ross Merkel, who was its pastor for eleven years prior to his removal from the clergy roster in March of 1994. ...Let me speak first of all about St. Paul Lutheran Church in Oakland. This congregation continues to provide strong support to the ELCA and to the Sierra Pacific Synod. A member of the congregation serves on the Synod Executive Committee and as synod treasurer. The congregation continues to support and serve its community through various ministries to the sick and homeless, in addition to providing strong Word and Sacrament ministry. It is my intention to declare that this parish is vacant. No pastor will be listed for St. Paul in the ELCA yearbook or in synod statistics. Representation at synod assemblies will be limited to lay delegates. It is my intention to act within the spirit of Paul’s letter to the Colossians as we deal with sisters and brothers in Christ who are honestly and sincerely seeking to be obedient to the gospel in the situation in which they find themselves. It is my purpose to be as supportive as I can within the boundaries of faithfulness to the constitution. The two non-rostered conference deans present a different situation. There are no structures in place to discipline a conference even if one should desire to do that. It is, however, my belief that the actions of the conferences are in implicit, if not in explicit, conflict with the constitution... I shall take direct responsibility for the San Francisco and East Bay Conferences... From the point of view of the synod, these offices will be seen as vacant. At the conference level, the elected deans may function to gather clergy and congregations and preside over conference assemblies, as long as that is the wish of the conference. However, my office will assume responsibility in matters relating to pastoral vacancies and installation of pastors and AIMs.2 I...will also assume responsibility for clergy, AIMs, and congregations who would not be receptive to the pastoral care of the dean in these conferences... [T]his relationship can be cumbersome, even difficult. However, I believe that it is the best resolution of this matter at present. The above actions will allow us to “bear with one another, ...to forgive one another...”, and it will give time to continue “to clothe ourselves with love” as we walk together and seek to find that path which most clearly expresses the heart and mind of our Lord, Jesus Christ. There are those on both sides of the issue who would urge me to take swift and decisive action. On one side, they would urge me to act within a strict interpretation of the constitution... On the other, they would urge me to embrace the actions of the conferences and to authorize Pastor Merkel to serve as the pastor of St. Paul’s. My action in choosing neither of those options recognizes that truth is not captive to any ideological position, but is discovered as people of faith come together in prayer and mutual affirmation to seek the path of faithfulness. ...Please do not misread my actions... In those instances where it is clear to me that there is direct and malicious disregard for the constitution, I will not hesitate to act with all the authority of this office. We have made covenants together and it is important that we be able to count on one another to be faithful to those agreements. As my schedule allows, I will be available...for discussion of these actions... I do not expect that we will all agree; I do expect that we will engage in serious and respectful dialogue with one another as together we search for what it means to be faithful to God in this time and place. Let me now return to Paul’s letter to the Colossians: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.” Let us be about that purpose! While we may be concerned about the issues discussed above, they ought not divert us from this baptismal commission to make Christ known... I pray that it is around this purpose that we can find our unity and the courage to move into the year ahead with boldness. In God’s love and care.▼ By Robert W. Mattheis and the Sierra Pacific Synod Council Robert W. Mattheis, Bishop of Sierra Pacific Synod, ELCA, in California, seeks to maintain connections while upholding church law. Spring 1996 17 1990-1995— Another Conflict/ Another Solution In another Lutheran conflict two San Francisco churches six years ago challenged an ELCA ordination policy that requires a vow of celibacy from gay and lesbian candidates. St. Francis and First United Lutheran Churches ordained three pastors in January 1990 who would not agree to the celibacy requirement. St. Francis, with almost half of its membership gay or lesbian, called Ruth Frost and Phyllis Zillhart, a lesbian couple. First United, a church with a liberal tradition, but few gay members, called Jeff Johnson, a gay man.3 Jim Lokken, of St. Francis, summarizes what happened next: “In a highly publicized hearing before the ELCA discipline committee, the two congregations asked the discipline committee to review the justice of the ELCA’s policy... The ELCA argued that the issue was simply one of violation of the constitution and that the two congregations should be expelled. By a vote of 6 to 5, the committee sided with the ELCA. It provided, however, that the congregations would be ‘suspended’ for five years, during which time it hoped that the issue could be studied and the disagreement between the congregations and the parent church resolved. By the end of 1995, nothing had changed and the congregations were [to be] expelled.” 4 Before the disfellowshipping took place, the following motion was passed by Sierra Pacific Synod Council, representing more attempts to maintain connections: The Council reaffirms the Synod’s intent, expressed in the Synod Assembly Resolution 95-5, that we “explore creative ways to maintain a strong bond of fellowship” with these congregations. To that end, the Council intends to begin this process in the following ways: (1) By asking the Bishop to write a prayer petition for the two congregations which might be commended to all congregations of the Synod for use on 31 December 1995, the Sunday prior to their expulsion (6) By encouraging members of the ELCA to make their concern for these congregations concrete by joining them in worship as they may have opportunity. (7) By asking the Bishop to offer to continue to provide pastoral care to the clergy and members of these congregations as needed and desired. The Council intends to review these points and the status of our “bond of fellowship” with these congregations in September 1996. Motion carried.5▼ Notes 1Article is excerpted from letter to Sierra Pacific Synod. 2AIM means Associate in Ministry. 3Data was provided by Jim Lokken, “Background” paper, 10 February 1996. 4Lokken, ibid. 5Minutes from Sierra Pacific Synod Council, 15-16 September 1995, p. 5. under the terms of the disciplinary decision. (See above.) (2) By urging the San Francisco Conference to continue to include the congregations in Conference activities insofar as possible. (3) By directing the Synod office to keep the congregations on the Synod’s mailing list, and by requesting the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America to do the same. (4) By expressing our hope to the congregations that they might be available as resources for others in areas in ministry where they have expertise. (5) By asking the Bishop to invite clergy and members of the congregations to attend the Synod Assembly as visitors and observers as they are interested and able. 18 Open Hands In January 1996, four Baptist churches in California were recommended for exclusion from their regional body, the American Baptist Churches of the West (ABCW). Following this recommendation, the 68-member ABCW voted on 9 March to exclude Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church, Oakland; San Leandro Community Church; First Baptist Church, Berkeley; and New Community of Faith, San Jose. Earlier, in June 1995, the Columbus Association in Ohio dismissed First Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio, (see pp. 8, 30) for “accepting gays and lesbians without trying to change them...” Their dismissal was acknowledged by the American Baptist Churches of Ohio. Both actions appear to challenge historical American Baptist principles of allowing a local church autonomy in defining its own ministry, interpreting scripture, and governing itself. Speaking to New York Times writer Gustav Niebuhr, Robert Rasmussen, the executive minister of the ABCW who called the special California meeting, noted “There come times in life when you have to say no.” He added that the vote to exclude was a vote to defend heterosexual marriage as the only biblically sanctioned expression of human sexuality.1 “We decline to be excluded, thank you very much,” said Martha L. Olney, treasurer at First Baptist. “First Baptist Church of Berkeley is an American Baptist church, has been an American Baptist church, and will remain an American Baptist church. We will continue to witness to the redemptive power of God’s inclusive love in our world…to support American Baptist missions at home and throughout the world…to work toward restoration of Baptist principles…” 2 While many Ohio area churches spoke against First Baptist of Granville, Jack H. Warwick, a deacon at American Baptist in Westerville supported it, saying the pastor George Williamson and his church “are leading us. I think what they are doing is great.”3 Normally, Baptist churches are dismissed from fellowship with the American Baptist body because they do not meet the “common criteria” for ABC churches. This is the first time churches have been disfellowshipped against their will—and on theological grounds rather than covenant criteria. Other American Baptist churches and leaders are alarmed. The Baptist controversy over autonomy emerges from the fact that the five churches joined the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists (a national group which advocates accepting gay and lesbian persons into full participation of church life). Their joining was a public statement of how they define at least part of their ministries. Since Baptists emphasize local church autonomy, the five churches continue to be American Baptist churches unless and until the national denominational body decides otherwise. In a related action, Dolores Street Baptist Church in San Francisco (another Welcoming & Affirming Baptist church) applied to become associated with the American Baptist denomination. Their application was never acted on. Dolores Street Baptist has now withdrawn its local application and has appealed directly to the national denomination.▼ Notes 1Gustav Niebuhr, “Baptists, Lutherans Expel California Congregations that Embrace Homosexuals,” The New York Times, 8 February 1996. 2Martha L. Olney, “Reflections on getting ‘dissed’,” Second Stone, January/February 1996. 3Kevin Mayhood, “Baptist church disenfranchised over gay issue,” Columbus Dispatch, 7 June 1995. Brenda J. Moulton is coordinator of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. By Brenda J. Moulton Offer Prayers and Support St. Francis Lutheran Church 152 Church Street San Francisco, CA 94114 415/621-2635 Pastor James DeLange First United Lutheran Church 6555 Geary Boulevard San Francisco, CA 94121 415/751-8108 Pastor Jeff Johnson Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church 3534 Lakeshore Avenue Oakland, CA 94610 510/893-2484 Rev. James H. Hopkins First Baptist Church 2345 Channing Way Berkeley, CA 94704 510/848-5838 Rev. Esther Hargis San Leandro Community Church 1395 Bancroft Avenue San Leandro, CA 95477 510/483-1811 Rev. Kay Wellington New Community of Faith 6350 Rainbow Drive San Jose, CA 95129 408/253-1408 Rev. Richard E. Taylor Rev. Vikki Yechoyan, Associate First Baptist Church 115 W. Broadway Granville, OH 43023-1179 614/587-0336 Rev. George Williamson, Jr. Dolores Street Baptist Church 938 Valencia San Francisco, CA 94110 415/826-2641 Rev. Doug Donley Spring 1996 19 Most current approaches to church conflict management are based on conceptions of congregations as organizations and congregational leadership as organizational leadership. These conceptions have been primarily shaped by human relations theory. Such approaches are influenced by a psychological understanding of relationships within congregations, which encourages confrontation of disagreements, engages persons involved in a conflict in direct interaction, and emphasizes communication skills (self-disclosure, assertiveness in expressing demands, negotiation, compromise, and collaboration). The use of such approaches in Asian American congregations has not been effective. For Asians, society is not individualbased, but relationship-based. This focus is rooted in Confucianism, in which human beings are expected to develop and conduct themselves as “relation-oriented” individuals. Accordingly, attitudes that enable and sustain this relational orientation are cultivated in the Asian family and Asian community. Three such attitudes or relational postures are: • continuous awareness of one’s networks of relationships • recognition of the importance of “face” (public self-image) for those with whom one is in relationship • fulfillment of obligations to maintain one’s relationships. These attitudes and postures continue to shape behavior, not just for the immigrant Asian generation as it arrives in this country, but for the American-born generations as well— even to the third and fourth generations. They are predispositional in nature—so influential that they are perceived by some Asian Americans as a sort of “cultural DNA”—not always consciously present, but functionally operative in predisposing Asian Americans to a distinctive pos- The predisposition toward preserving relationships leads to the preference for nonconfrontational interaction, e.g., subtle or indirect engagement, through trusted third party “go-betweens” rather than through professional mediators who engage disputants in direct communication. The predisposition toward preserving relationships also enables the toleration of ambiguity in times of disagreement. Some Asian American congregations have remained together in the midst of their differences, deferring debate or other direct, face-to-face efforts designed to resolve the dispute. Some Asian Americans have characterized such congregational cohesion in the face of conflict as “solidarity in conflict” in contrast to the “unity in diversity” emphasized in some mainline denominations. This difference has theological implications: how might a theology of solidarity be different from a theology of unity or a theology of reconciliation in shaping our conflict ministry?1▼ Source This material is excerpted from “From Surgery to Acupuncture: An Alternative Approach to Managing Church Conflict from an Asian American Perspective.” Reprinted by permission of Congregations, published by The Alban Institute, Inc. Suite 433 North, 4550 Montgomery Ave., Bethesda MD 20814. Copyright 1996. All rights reserved. Note 1The solidarity paradigm vs. unity paradigm discussion originated with Dr. Kim Yong Bock, president, Hanil Seminary in Korea. Virstan B.Y. Choy, D.Min., is director of field education and integrative studies and assistant professor of ministry at San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo, California. ture for engaging in interpersonal interaction in the family, in the community, and in the congregation. A cultural collision occurs when persons acting out of this posture are placed in conflict management situations emphasizing attention to one’s own feelings and calling for expression and negotiation of one’s own needs and interests. In situations of conflict, the relational orientation leads to a predisposition toward preserving relationship with those with whom one is involved in a disagreement. Consequently, differences and even disagreements may be allowed to remain unresolved over a long period of time in order to preserve the face of others (“save face”) and therefore maintain some form of relationship (“save relationship”). In such situations, what non-Asian American conflict managers may perceive as passivity or inability to make decisions may actually be an intentional culturally shaped decision not to engage in interactions that threaten face or jeopardize relationships. By Virstan B.Y. Choy 20 Open Hands Finally, all we have is relationships. We stew about what to do with institutions, particularly what to do about “the church.” Shall we challenge it? Shall we nurture it? What really matters are the relationships that build institutions, are shaped by them, or exist in spite of them. Are those relationships mutually just and mutually loving? Do they energize us in the Spirit and nurture growth? Recently, a fairy godbrother of mine became a candidate for assistant pastor at a suburban congregation in another state. After the first interviews, he rocketed to the top of the congregation’s prospect list. Phone calls, letters, conversations— all conveyed one message: “You are the perfect candidate; the one we want.” Then he came out to the senior pastor. The senior pastor professed his support—and proceeded to sink my friend’s candidacy. The search committee cut off communication, refused my friend a hearing, and denied they ever wanted him. I was ready to pack my bags: sensibly low heels, modest pearls. I wanted to travel to that suburb, find that church, march in on a Sunday morning in my most middle-America-go-to-meetin’ dress. But to what purpose? Should I go—or not? What Would Jesus Do? Which brings me to the question, “What would Jesus do?” Would he hike up his skirt, tear down the aisle shrieking “my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples,” and overturn the In-Remembrance-of-Me furniture? Or would he don a man’s three-piece pin-stripe, lace on the oxfords, and throw his fedora in the ring for denominational moderator? ings. But he interpreted them in ways that made the establishment nervous. Jesus lived in a society dominated both by the Jerusalem Temple establishment and by Roman territorial occupation. Economic life was difficult. Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbaugh note that between 35 and 40 percent of a peasant family’s production may have gone to religious and political taxes.1 Class, gender, and ethnic identities dictated very limited options for individuals. The social group one belonged to defined the individual, not vice versa. Men and women did not regularly mix or socialize (thus the male disciple’s astonishment when Jesus talked with a woman—Jn 4:27). Patriarchal extended families were the norm, reinforced by economic necessity. Physical life was difficult for both women and men. Most people worked hard. Disease and accidents limited life expectancy, if one survived childhood, to about forty. Jesus was past “middle age” when he began his teaching. Medicine was largely what we would call “folk medicine” or spiritual healing. Jesus’ acquaintances were well-acquainted with death and conditions that we consider handicaps. Thus, Jesus lived and spoke with a spontaneous immediacy that I find disconcerting. My generation had an extended adolescence and years of college to ponder the “meaning of life.” But Jesus was an itinerant preacher, teaching wisdom on the fly. My predominantly European-American- male-defined world puts great stock in the theoretical underpinnings of social structures. We rest our civic relationships on constitutions and written covenants. In church, we study “issues” I was raised in the 1950s and 1960s and I came of age in the 1970s. I grew up hearing comparisons of Jeremiah’s sermons with Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speeches. Ezekiel’s “sit-ins” didn’t sound all that different from student protests (Ezek 4:1-8). And I quoted Jesus—“love your enemies”—when I staffed the statefair booth of Kansans Concerned About Vietnam (Matt 5:43-44). So an anti-establishment Jesus in drag suits my biases. Unfortunately, Jesus is hardly that simple. Jesus confuses me. He declares peacemakers blessed (Matt 5:9). He also suggests that his disciples carry weapons (Lk 22:36). He longs for his people to “know what makes for peace” (Lk 19:42). But he characterizes himself as bringing “not peace but a sword” and setting members against one another (Matt 10:34-36). Does he undermine the religious institutions? Does he support them? Predominant Western thinking demands consistent thought and purpose. Jesus seems to relish inconsistency. One day he pays the temple tax without objection (Matt 17:24-27). Another day finds him turning the temple upside down (Matt 21:12-13). Biblical pictures of Jesus resist systematic ethical, political, or theological organization. That may be due, in part, to the world in which he lived. Jesus was Jewish by ethnic heritage and religion. But cosmopolitan Galilean Judaism may not have been fully respectable to some groups which organized Jewish identity according to ritual purity. He appears to have been a peasant. But his family identity included royal descent from David. His teaching appealed to sacred tradition and writ- By John Linscheid Spring 1996 21 and formulate “position papers.” We focus on passing resolutions, changing books of order, or revising manuals of discipline. To change institutions, we seek to change people’s minds. Jesus seems unconcerned with changing people’s minds. He doesn’t argue issues. He addresses people and responds to concrete events. His words and actions modulate from situation to situation—and sometimes even moment to moment. Such is the case in his encounter with the Canaanite woman (Matt 15:21-28). Her initial pleas for mercy for her sick daughter fall on unresponsive ears. Jesus appears to accept ethnic segregation, declaring that his mercy belongs only “to the house of Israel.” The woman persists, and Jesus compounds the offense with an ethnic insult: it would be unfair to throw the “children’s bread” to “dogs.” But she seizes the insult and turns it back at him. Dogs, she reminds Jesus, can expect more than he is willing to give. In her single-minded devotion to her daughter’s good, she forces Jesus to perceive that ethnicity is no boundary to faith. Jesus repents, and her daughter is healed. Jesus doesn’t retreat into defensive posturing when the Canaanite woman challenges his ethnocentrism. Instead, he listens to her. He opens himself to be transformed by her. What prompts him to listen—and elsewhere to expect others to listen to his challenges? Why does he expect transformation (of himself or others) where tradition and society say none is possible? The New Testament depicts Jesus as extraordinarily in tune with the spiritual possibilities in all things. In him, no boundary exists between the holy and the mundane. He trusts the Spirit/ God utterly. He lives his daily relationships from the perspective of the Spirit/ the spiritual. The earliest writings we have about Jesus (the letters of Paul) present almost no biographical information. Paul seems relatively uninterested in stories about Jesus—or even in his teachings. Yes, he quotes “the Lord” occasionally. But what seizes Paul, in his relationship to Christ, is the quality of Spirit found there. The quality of Spirit seems to be an energy of relationship that binds people together and makes people whole. Paul doesn’t speculate on the metaphysical nature of Christ’s resurrected body. He simply describes his experience that the gathered community of Christ continues the reality of Christ’s earthly life. In 1 Corinthians 11:23-27, Paul uses “the body” as a double entendre to mean both the gathered community and Jesus’ body. He proceeds to explain how each movement and experience of any part of the body affects all the others (1 Cor 12:12-27). Christ is not only a person. Christ is also the relationship among Christ’s followers. To live in Christ, to follow Jesus, means living our relationships in constant spiritual communion. It means spontaneously being shaped by the everrenewing, ever-growing perspective of the Spirit. How Might Jesus Open Himself? So what does this have to do with whether Jesus would wear a man’s suit or a woman’s dress to the church that rejected my fairy godbrother? It suggests that I must not ask “What would Jesus do?” Rather I must ask, “How might Jesus open himself to relationships with others and God in this moment?” Will the dress and pearls help to inspire new perspectives? Will the business suit foster mutual growth? Sometimes one must shatter old relationship patterns to enable new growth. Sometimes one must rest in the familiar and retreat from upheaval. Anger and insult may move with the Spirit, as when Jesus pronounced woes upon stagnant, oppressive traditionalists (Matt 23:13). A softer answer may also teach, as when Jesus refused to take sides in a legal dispute (Lk 12:13-15). Should one abide with church tradition or challenge church structures? I attend a congregation that has never been able to make a gay/lesbian-affirming statement. We do not all agree on issues of sexuality. Our regional Mennonite conference now threatens to expel our congregation unless it excommunicates gay and lesbian members. Nevertheless, we continue to welcome gay and lesbian members. Why do members who cannot agree to affirm the goodness of gay and lesbian relationships embrace us and risk expulsion? Why do I, an openly gay man, remain where my sexuality is not always affirmed? Although we do not fully agree, we sense in each other a movement of the Spirit that we trust. We perceive, imperfect though it may be, the energy of Christ’s body in our relationship. In this mystery of Christ, I can say of certain people—whether we fundamentally disagree or agree about sexuality—that I would trust my life to them. If I were to wear the dress in this my home congregation, it would be for fun and joy and laughter and learning. But, in some other congregations, I’d wear the dress to be “in their face.” More likely, I would shake the dust from the soles of my pumps and leave before my pearls were cast before swine. Just as we must not divorce what God has joined, sometimes we should not keep bound what God long put asunder. Sometimes mutual good comes in parting. Right relationships—Spirit-ual relationships— seek the good in one another. They promote growth in each other. They foster mutuality and justice between us. They tune our interactions to the energies of God. We can stew about institutions. Shall we leave the church? Shall we support it? Shall we prophesy against it or work to change it from within? Some must leave. Others must stay. The sacred mystery of living in Christ is this: to discover and move toward the Spirit’s potential, whatever the pattern of relationship.▼ Note 1Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbaugh, Social- Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels (Minneapolis: Fortress, 1992), p. 134. John Linscheid and his lover, Ken White, live in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They will lead a retreat on creating and using ritual to face and move through the unique challenges of gay-male identity development (16-18 August 1996). For more information, contact Kirkridge (see ad on p. 31). 22 Open Hands GUIDELINES FOR GROUP FORMATION 1. Communicate to approximately six persons each who are pro and con on the issue of homosexuality in the church; invite them to pursue the topic in civil discourse together. 2. Choose a competent conflict manager to facilitate the group. 3. Affirm basic ground rules, ideals, or guidelines to govern the actions of the group toward civil discourse. 4. Spend the necessary time to allow all persons to share their life journeys relative to the formation of their position on the topic. 5. Seek to find whatever common ground is evident out of the personal sharing. 6. Continue educational efforts individually and as a group on the subject of sexual orientation. 7. Work toward a consensus decision on some common action to take, such as the formation of new groups led or supported by original group members. —Donald E. Bossart Two of the most emotionally charged issues in the church and society today are the issues of abortion and homosexuality. Many articles have been written and debates have been argued in an attempt to convince one another of the rightness of one side or the other. Biblical and theological interpretations have been expounded from church pulpits, public debates, and print or TV media to justify particular positions. The focus of this article is on a way of living in the tension of the conflict and engaging in civil discourse on the subject of sexual orientation. How can we choose to live within the heat and seek the light? What Does Civil Discourse Mean? Acknowledging that we are in a social tension is easy to do. The hard part comes when we decide that we must engage in civil discourse. First of all, what does that mean? Many have experienced discourse on these topics but little has been civil. Labeling, vehement protest, and confrontation have characterized much of the debate. Digression into ugliness, personal attacks, and property damage are sad components to uncivil discourse. Civil can mean two things. First, it can mean that the debate is public among those who live together in community. Second, it can mean that the debate gives respect to all parties. This article is written to encourage both community discourse and respect due to the various parties. We who live within the church community should have understanding of the need for respect and honor to be given to another of God’s children, whom Jesus came to liberate by his death and resurrection. But somehow the church has great difficulty with this theological tenet in the name of “right doctrine” and belief. Civil conversation breaks down when rightness of position is paramount and any position varying from that “rightness” is not only wrong but heresy. What occurs is church conflict with only win/lose outcomes. Discourse has within its meaning a dimension of dialogue between parties which includes logic and reason. If logic and reason are to occur, listening to all positions is required so that understanding might be achieved without agreement being necessary. A Typical Approach to the Conflict Sexuality has always been a matter of serious concern charged with emotion in the church. Lately, the church has been embroiled in the topic of sexual orientation, mostly concentrating on whether homosexuality is a biblical abomination or innate to the person. Should one bearing the attribute of “abomination” be ordained as a clergyperson? As in most emotional debates, the parties tend to treat their opponents as enemies who, in their evil ways, are trying to eradicate morality in general and biblical Christianity in particular or, conversely, who are expressing unnecessary fear over a valid part of God’s creation. The debate is win/lose, with rightness as the only criterion. The Bible and doctrinal authority are the only arbiters for the debate within part of the church community. The approach is positional, with little regard to dialogue, the relationship, and shared interests with others. Common ground and resolution are most difficult to achieve in the midst of this kind of atmosphere and entrenchment. Civil Discourse: A New Approach An interest-based dialogue, rather than a positional debate, is called for. Civil discourse requires fair fighting ground rules that focus on a dialogue which is substantive and which addresses each party in a civil, respectful way. Understanding is a goal. Distortion in perception, miscommunication, and the drive for personal or group power over others may well require a third party facilitator to bring the “civil” and the “discourse” into the discussion. Such facilitators are trained to intervene with fair fighting rules and to move the debate from the ferocity of win/lose to the excitement of a win/win attempt toward understanding and possibly resolving the conflict. Even when complete resolution is not attainable, the facilitator can help prevent damaging exchanges that block future dealing amongst the parties. Latent conflict from previous win/lose interactions can easily be triggered into highly emotional escalation of conflict in future exchanges Third party facilitators engage in preventative roles as well as those that are mediative and negotiative. They assist By Donald E. Bossart Spring 1996 23 civil discourse by: 1) preventing damaging exchanges, 2) enabling the change of context of the conflict (reframing), and 3) coaching parties in the principles of fair fighting and ethical interchange. Such behavior is essential to dialogic discussion in order to reach a negotiable perception of the problem. Mediation by a third party can change a deadlocked positional argument into an open search for common ground around common interests.1 An Experiment in Civil Discourse A positive experience in attempting civil discourse by this method of third party facilitation is taking place in Denver, Colorado. The Colorado Coalition for Choice is a group of religious leaders in the community who are active in community debate on the abortion issue. Experiencing frustration at the way these interchanges were going and feeling more acrimony than any helpful light on the matter, they felt there must be another way. In the early months of 1993, I was approached as a conflict manager to see if I might facilitate a group of approximately equal numbers of pro-life and pro-choice persons from within the Christian-Jewish community. A number of months later such a group of clergy and lay leadership was gathered. Each person was asked to commit to a civil discourse on the abortion issue without having to convince others to change their position. The end goal of such initiative was to identify some common ground around which there might be some united action. My role as facilitator was to establish and insure ground rules which respected the worth and self-esteem of the persons involved and to guide the group toward the discovery of possible common ground. Christian-Jewish tradition and theology gave foundation for this style of dialogue. The persons in the group had been in the leadership of religious concern on both sides of the abortion issue to date. They had a genuine interest in why and how each had come to their position on abortion. They desired mutual understanding and to see if there was any ground in common! Since we met only once a month, it took some time to allow all individuals to share their journey. This process drew the group closer together as the life stories and resulting commitments were shared. At times many in the group would exclaim that, given the life experience they just heard, they too might be so convinced. Trust and friendly relationships were built before any attempt was made to discover common ground. Effort was extended to break positional images, loaded words, labels, and epitaphs. This development of community and trust was enhanced by a week-end retreat with leadership from the Common Ground Network for Life and Choice in Washington, D.C. After mutual appreciation was developed around life journeys and abortion positions, the focus was directed toward common concern. The problem of unwanted children became the center of dialogue. The experience of adoption agencies in working with the parents of unwanted babies and with unwed mothers was shared. Ways of working with pregnant women considering abortion were discussed toward mutually desirable ends. Any decision for action by the group was dependent upon consensus among all parties. The persons who experienced this progression from no trust and attack to compassion and understanding over about two years felt excitement about their achievements and wanted to share those insights with others. Since this experiment had been a private, not a public event, a news release was prepared which described what had taken place. An invitation was made for leadership to come from this initial group to help start new groups. About twelve persons formed a workable group, with balanced representation of the parties to the dialogue. Their goal was to spread this style of discourse across the Denver metro community. Using this Model The substantive issue for civil discourse in this article is sexual orientation, not abortion. The process is the point in the above description. How can this process help us in the church to live in the tension around sexual orientation? The following ideals would need to be affirmed by consensus by a new group who wanted to engage in civil discourse on sexual orientation: ∂ We agree that all human lives have value and inherent dignity. Σ We seek to be one in the spirit of caring and compassion. ΠWe will listen to each other with open hearts and minds. These then serve as guidelines for civil discourse. The mission statement of a group seeking to engage in civil discourse on sexual orientation would need to include: ∂ an affirmation of the right of persons to hold different convictions. Σ an agreement to seek not simply to be understood but also to understand. Πa commitment to attempt to look beyond differences to see each other as caring, compassionate people. π a commitment to strive together toward finding answers which uphold the dignity of all human life.2 The general steps followed by the group would be the same as our group in Denver. They are outlined in the box (left). The joint pursuit of truth may be long and difficult, but civil discourse in the midst of conflict within the Christian community could be a contribution to the search for peace that is so desired on the part of the larger community. The foundation for this discourse is within us. Let us learn to use it and pass it on.▼ Notes 1Hugh F. Halverstadt, Managing Church Conflict (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991). 2These are the ideals and mission statement of the Pro-Life/Pro-Choice Community in Denver, December, 1994. Donald E. Bossart, Ph.D., is an associate professor of interpersonal ministries at Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado. He has been active in the Denver PFLAG and the Colorado AIDS Project. He and his wife, Gay, attend St. Andrews UMC in Littleton. 24 Open Hands When a colleague of my wife said this at the time I was to be ordained, I knew she had had little experience in the church! Now, nearly forty years later, I am even more certain that she sat on the margins of the church. Little did I realize at the beginning of my ministry that the church would call me to be a bishop for more than half of the coming years. Though I experienced division in my ministry in congregational and academic settings, it was in the office of bishop, both in a synodical and churchwide setting, that I witnessed the full fury of conflict among the people of God. Given this history of ministry, one would think that I would have grown jaundiced and negative about the church, depressed about the people of God, and relieved to be free from the office of bishop. That is emphatically not the case. While I surely am delighted to move into a new stage of life, I do so with gratitude for the opportunities I have had to serve in such interesting roles in the church. And—to the point of this article—I am thankful for the good things that have come from times of conflict and disagreement in the church. Recognition The first key to dealing with conflict is to recognize that it is inevitable in any human situation. More so, it is crucial to recognize that it takes on a peculiar shape in the church. Let me explain. First, we are “at the same time justified and sinner,” a notion that can be interpreted both narrowly and more broadly. In the narrow sense, we are made right with God through God’s work in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are “justified” by grace through faith. Yet, we remain engaged in the struggle with sin and evil as long as we live. In the broader sense, this struggle is played out in all of life. A constant threat hangs over even the finest, most ordered, most cooperative human setting that it will be torn apart by conflict and misunderstanding. That is simply “the nature of the beast.” It is a fact of human existence that will be with us as long as the world stands. When we move out of our naiveté and recognize evil—both personal and corporate— for what it is, we have taken the first important step in resolving conflict. Second, I suggest that conflict is more subtle in the church. Persons like my wife’s colleague think there should be no conflict among people who claim to be Christian. Those who plunge into the life of the church soon discover that sin and evil are not only prevalent, but that they take on disguises that often make them hard to detect. Christians can be “terribly nice.” We can say the right things, put on a kind and gentle face, while, at the same time, giving free reign to feelings of anger and hate. “I love everyone,” we are inclined to say. But our thoughts and actions often betray a heart that is full of evil intent. Dialogue How do we deal with this condition? The biblical way is open and honest conversation, repentance when we have done wrong, and a constant search for deeper understanding of others. The title of a very old book speaks of the Miracle of Dialogue.1 Dialogue is what I have seen work over and over again in my near-forty years of ministry. A member of my first parish took strong exception to my stance on an issue in the community. I could have attacked him, directly or subtly, from the pulpit. I could have talked behind his back. I could have complained to the church council. Instead, I went to his home. We had a good, constructive conversation. We acknowledged our differences. We distinguished those differences from more important elements of Christian faith where we were in agreement. Out of it has come respect for each other that endures to this day. I encountered the miracle of dialogue as a synodical bishop when the issue of civil rights for gay and lesbian persons first surfaced in the mid-1970s. I took a clear stance in favor of those rights and in support of the gay and lesbian community. The reaction was predictable. My mail was full of hate messages. Some pastors attacked me from their pulpits. I could have answered in kind, both to the letters and the sermons. Instead, I chose the way of dialogue. No, I did not win over those at either extreme edge of that conflict—those who resisted any change whatever and those who demanded complete and immediate change. But across the broad middle, change occurred. I engaged in dialogue with congregations where reaction was most extreme. In some instances, a few very courageous homosexual persons went with me to present their case, to tell their life stories, and to share in the conversation. No, I did not see mass “conversions.” But whenever a few minds were changed or a few seeds of new approach were planted, progress was celebrated. Dialogue happened again in the fall of 1994 when the first draft of a possible “statement on human sexuality” was released by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Because of the unfortunate and inexcusable way in which the document was first reported in the press, the storm of reaction was volcanic. My bishop’s desk was piled high with more than 1,000 letters in a matter of a few weeks—most of them in strong opposition to what the writer assumed was in the draft. That was only the tip of the iceberg. Many more thousands of letters came to the division responsible for the draft. To this day I get letters and comments suggesting how By Herbert W. Chilstrom 2 1 Spring 1996 25 the eruption should have been handled. Some gay and lesbian persons and their friends hoped for a strong word of condemnation against those who did not agree with the suggestions in the draft regarding how the church should look on them. At the other extreme were those who felt that a word of total condemnation of the entire draft should have come from my office. I chose the way of dialogue. Together, with key staff persons, I traveled to every corner of the ELCA to engage in conversation regarding this divisive issue. I prepared a video tape for use in small group settings. ELCA staff provided discussion materials for use in local congregations. Responses were encouraged and flowed in by the tens of thousands! Seldom has a church body been engaged in such broad and deep conversation about a single subject. Did good come of it? Emphatically yes! I cannot count the number of times a pastor has said to me in the past two years that, hard as it was at the time, the dialogue opened doors of understanding that surprised even the most skeptical. Did the ELCA lose some members over the issue? To be sure. But my mail assured me that the church also gained some members. Far more important, however, was the sense of courage that emerged in congregation after congregation. “We will need some time to assimilate this issue,” one pastor said to me. “It was frightening at first. I thought the congregation would be torn to shreds. We discovered that there are deep differences among us. But we survived. Some minds were changed. More than that, we learned that we can disagree and still live together in community.” Those comments would be echoed over and over across the ELCA. Patience Progress in understanding is never as swift as we might hope. But I have learned patience over the years. Furthermore, I must constantly remind myself that on complex and divisive issues change is always slow. It took twenty years for me to move across the spectrum of attitudes regarding homosexual persons, from an assumption that such persons are immoral by deliberate choice to the conviction that they are only different from the majority in regard to their sexual orientation and in no sense immoral because of something they have not chosen. Like the minority who are left-handed, they simply have a different sexual preference. The same is true for churches as corporate bodies. Change will be slow. It took the Quakers more than fifty years to come out with a strong statement against slavery! Further, we must come to terms with the fact that while social statements are desirable when the church needs to address a serious issue in society, they are not always possible. At its 1995 Church-wide Assembly, the ELCA delegates waffled between calling for more work on a statement on human sexuality and abandoning that process in favor of a less legislative approach. Discouraging as it is, the message from those confusing and contradictory actions was clear: the church will need time. Calls for patience are not appreciated, especially if you are the one discriminated against. You do not have two or three lifetimes to wait for change. You want it now. So do I. But, just as in the secular realm where “the art of the possible” is the way toward change, so is the case in the church. We do what is possible, never apologizing for our position, but always ready to engage in dialogue with those who differ with us. William Willimon relates the story of an encounter Martin Luther King, Jr. had with a young man whose father objected to his involvement in the civil rights movement. The young man wanted to know what King would suggest as a way to change the heart of his racist father. King replied, “Your father is doing the best he can. He has not had many of your educational opportunities, opportunities which he provided for you. As a Christian you must be patient with him and love him.”2 King did not suggest that he stop talking to his father, or abandon his support for the movement. In a sense, at the heart of his suggestion was the way of nonviolent resistance—and the way of dialogue. Persistent, informed, patient dialogue in a loving context remains the best way to resolve conflict and bring change.▼ Notes 1Reuel L. Howe, The Miracle of Dialogue (Greenwich, Conn.: Seabury, 1963). 2F. J. Schumacher, ed., For All the Saints. (Oneonta: American Lutheran Publicity Bureau, 1995), p. 54. Herbert W. Chilstrom, the first presiding bishop of the ELCA (1987-95), is now retired with his wife Corinne, a Lutheran pastor, in Pelican Rapids, Minnesota. 3 26 Open Hands Inviting Moral Responses We at Shalom Ministries understand the reasons why people in vulnerable positions feel they need to hide. We have often counseled those caught between the demands of integrity and call to be gentle with themselves. Nonetheless, we believe people should be cautious about embracing an ethic of subversion. Subversion destroys trust. It invites retaliation and retribution. Those who exercise power to maintain systems of injustice recognize resistance, name it, and attack not only those who use it but also all who are associated with the subversive ones. They have laws, media, and people at their command already crushing subversive activities. To get different results, a different approach is required. We need to prepare spiritually to act in ways that sow the trust that is essential to building up, rather than breaking down, community. The first step is to appreciate the divine spark in ourselves and in others, then to show respect for others. We cultivate an understanding that moral forces are of God and have power over injustice. We walk in the presence of God and ask God’s help to calm our fears. When we meet anger, we recognize that anger is often a cover for fear. We assure those who are angry that they need not fear surprise attacks. We focus on the specific injustice. We appeal to those who maintain systems of injustice to act in ways that are moral and just. The appeal to do justice invites people to reflect on their own values. It encourages use of reason as well as feeling. It raises issues about the impact of personal actions on others. It does not shame, but rather gives people time to do the inner work that changes minds, and celebrates those who do. Spaces for Movement It is difficult to be lesbian or gay and in a church or synagogue, but changing times have opened up surprising spaces for movement. The walls of resistance are not monolithic, but broken and shifting. The changing times challenge us all to use methods that build our own spiritual maturity and nurture trust in our communities. Hope grows when we recognize God’s presence with us. It increases when others stand with us. We add to hope when we join with people who are loving and justice-seeking. It is important to think carefully about the consequences of our ethical choices. There are many cracks in the walls of injustice. There are gaps and spaces where justice-seeking people may expand their reliance on God, let go of fear, and persuade people in places of power of the importance of doing what is just. One at a time, people make these decisions. Indeed, as the walls of injustices become arches of invitation, we may create a garden of peace by sowing trust along the way.▼ Source This article was originally published in Shalom To You, the newsletter of Shalom Ministries, in November 1995. Used with permission. To receive Shalom To You, write P.O. Box 66147, Portland, OR 97290. Alice G. Knotts, Ph.D., an ordained United Methodist pastor, is co-director with Jeanne Knepper of Shalom Ministries and the author of a new book, Fellowship of Love: Methodist Women Changing American Racial Attitudes, 1920-1968. Under Seige Lesbians and gay men today are under siege in churches and society. Silent complicity or lack of sustained opposition by many middle Americans creates a climate in which discrimination and violence are tolerated and perpetuated. In response to this situation, some lesbian or gay religious leaders counsel subversion. They compare the present day situation to that of Moses when the Hebrew people were enslaved in Egypt or of Dietrich Bonhoeffer when Hitler’s Nazi party ruled Germany. Claiming that extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, they argue that honesty and integrity, valued principles in ordinary times, may now be inappropriate. A sophisticated and reasoned use of scripture and Christian ethics, they claim, may lead people to be subversive, just as Moses’ mother defied Pharaoh by letting her son live and Bonhoeffer plotted to help assassinate Hitler. In a time when the forces of injustice are both powerful and treacherous, subversion may be a commendable moral option. The choice to use subversion in the church relies on a conclusion that injustice is so evenly and solidly distributed that it can’t be cracked by an appeal to higher principles. It assumes that forces of injustice are stronger than the powers of the ones who resist, that avenues for application of ordinary virtues and principles are closed, and that God calls for actions that will allow the persecuted ones to survive within the institution. People use subversion when they fear that the negative consequences of not using it are great, when they feel powerless, and when they hope to hold on until the climate is safer. They make a moral choice to apply the lesser of two evils. By Alice G. Knotts Spring 1996 27 Soloist: (Sing verse 1) “Help us Accept Each Other” Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Some see danger and ever-present destruction. Voice One: They killed the prophet and placed him in a tomb. Hope has died and I feel lost. All: I have spoken with this voice. Life can feel like an endless series of meaningless disasters and mindless tragedies. (At this point, group members are invited to shout aloud those recent events in their lives and communities that have felt like disasters or tragedies. After each event is shouted, the soloist will strike a drum or the bottom of a cooking pot once.) Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Some see opportunity and the hope for new beginnings. Voice Two: The prophet has risen from the dead! Glory to God, for my world shall never be the same. All: I have spoken with that voice as well. Life can be an endless spring of promising possibilities and provocative chances. (Group members are invited to shout aloud those recent events in their lives and communities that have felt like new opportunities, new beginnings, or the promise of hope. After each event is shouted, the soloist will ring a handbell or shake a tambourine for two seconds.) Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Can there be resurrection without death, new life without suffering, promise without frustration? Voice Three: God dwells with us in the midst of all pain and glory, all horror and joy. As members of the body of Christ, we are called to live in the tensions of God’s world, All: To sense God’s tears in the midst of our sufferings, and to hear God’s cheers in the midst of our victories. Leader: One story, many versions Voice One: One story, many voices Voice Two: There is pain and suffering Voice Three: There is hope and promise All: And there is the Spirit of Christ dwelling among us, holding us with the arms of Grace, kissing us with the lips of peace, and standing beside us until the dawn of eternity. Soloist (Sing verse 3) “Help Us Accept Each Other” Note “Help Us Accept Each Other,” The United Methodist Hymnal, #560, or obtain from Hope Publishing Company, 800-323-1049. David D. Otto is an associate professor of religion at Centenary College of Louisiana, where he lives in the tensions of life with friends, students, and his two dogs, Guenevere and Suzette. By David D. Otto 28 Open Hands Selected Resources interpretation, science, ordination, gay unions. With discussion questions for group use. Hahn, Cellia Allison. Sexual Paradox: Creative Tensions in our Lives and in our Congregations. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1991. Explores male-female differences and conflicts within churches related to “authority and power as they work in tension with each other.” (from book cover) Halverstadt, Hugh F. Managing Church Conflict. Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991. Drawing on organizational group process and examining theological/ethical issues surrounding conflict, author advocates a Christian vision of shalom and an ethical process of respect, assertiveness, accountability, and focus on the common good. (from book cover) Carey, John J., ed. The Sexuality Debate in North American Churches, 1988-1995: Controversies, Unresolved Issues, Future Prospects. Lewiston, New York: Edwin Mellen, 1995. Not a “pro” and “con” book, but rather reflections of leaders involved in the sexuality debate who have been engaged in re-thinking assumptions about Christian life and ethics and the role of churches in society. Leas, Speed. Leadership & Conflict. Nashville: Abingdon, 1982. A standard in the field. McCollough, Charles R. Resolving Conflict with Justice and Peace. New York: Pilgrim, 1991. Uses actual cases of conflict to illustrate theoretical understandings of the nature of conflict and resolution. Rogers, Jack. Claiming the Center: Churches and Conflicting Worldviews. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995. Combining strong historical analysis with contemporary relevance, Rogers challenges mainline Protestants to claim the eccelsiatical, intellectual, and moral center of American Protestant life. Deals directly with current conflicts on homosexuality. Seifert, Harvey and Lois. When Christians Disagree. Educational Ministries, 2861-C Saturn Street, Brea, CA 92621. An eight session adult study on conflicts and decision making related to world peace, economic justice, abortion, political freedom, homosexuality, and preserving the earth. Vayrynen, Raimo, ed. New Directions in Conflict Theory: Conflict Resolution & Conflict Transformation. London: Sage, 1991. Looks at world-wide political conflicts and proposes conflict transformation, rather than conflict resolution (since most conflicts are not resolvable). Welch, D. Don. Conflicting Agendas: Personal Morality in Institutional Settings. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1994. When our personal agendas conflict with institutional ones, an appropriate response involves an ethic of “responsibility”—integrating our own personal integrity with concern for the larger group. Other Resources Conciliation Quarterly. A newsletter. Mennonite Central Committee. 717/859-3889. Conflict in the Church: Division or Diversity? 12 min. VHS. Focuses on different styles of handling congregtaional conflict. Includes study guide. $25 ppd. or free loan through Mennonite Central Committee libraries. Mennonite Central Committee. 717/859- 3889. Albrecht, Gloria. The Character of our Communities: Toward an Ethic of Liberation for the Church. Nashville: Abingdon, 1995. Rejects rugged American individualism, yet questions theological thinkers like Stanley Hauerwas who emphasize the community nature of Christian faith. Asks, how can communities envisioned by Hauerwas ever be liberative for those on the margins of society and church when the vision and story of the faith is still in danger of being shaped by a one predominant culture and worshipping community? Avery, Michel, et. al. Building United Judgment: A Handbook for Consensus Decision Making. Madison: Center for Conflict Resolution, 1981. Techniques and skills for effective consensus. Baird, Robert M. and M. Katherine, eds. Homosexuality: Debating the Issues. Amherst: Prometheus, 1995. A wide range of essays grouped into five areas: the philosophical debate, explanations and causes, criminal law, military, and religion. Writers address all sides of the controversy. Bossart, Donald E. Creative Conflict in Religious Education and Church Administration. Birmingham: Religious Education Press, 1980. Focuses on idea of creative possibilities inherent in conflicts and on processes to call forth the creative and productive potential in conflict. Brash, Alan A. Facing our Differences: The Churches and their Gay and Lesbian Members. Risk Book Series. Geneva, Switzerland: World Council of Churches Publications, 1995. A Presbyterian minister from New Zealand, who was deputy general secretary of the WCC from 1974-78, notes that the ecumenical community has been reluctant to address the debates over homosexuality. This book, which grew out of efforts of the WCC staff to gain a better understanding, seeks to encourage dialogue among the churches precisely at the point where “sharply contradictory convictions divide them.” Cosgrove, Charles H. and Dennis D. Hatfield. Church Conflict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights. Nashville: Abingdon, 1994. Uses an analogy of church as a family. Identifies through real stories and examples the hidden structural boundaries and “familylike” rules operating within churches. Friedmann, I.M. Helping Resolve Conflict: True Experiences of a Christian Anthropologist. Peace and Justice Series. Scottdale, PA: Herald, 1990. Through true stories of conflicts and mediation, this peacemaker shares his growth and insights on reconciliation processes. Questions with each chapter facilitate group discussion. Geis, Sally B. and Donald E. Messer, eds. Caught in the Crossfire: Helping Christians Debate Homosexuality. Nashville, Abingdon, 1994. Offers a range of views on “hot” issues such as biblical Spring 1996 29 More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Brown Memorial Park Avenue Church Baltimore, Maryland Located in the central city of Baltimore since 1869, Brown Memorial’s 200-plus members are committed to ministry to the city through BUILD, an industrial development ministry. A sister parish in El Salvador has been visited by many of its members. Rev. Roger Gench reports that the decision to affiliate with the More Light movement was the last step in a six year process of active engagement with issues of sexuality and ordination. While deeply committed to an inclusive church, some within the congregation were reluctant to “join the movement.” Roger Gench says, “We came to see that this was an important next step.” First United Church of Oak Park Oak Park, Illinois In harmony with its long history of socially relevant ministry, First United Church of Oak Park voted to become a More Light Church and an Open and Affirming Congregation. The statements adopted by the congregation include an endorsement of holy unions. For many years the Mission Board of the 1180-member congregation has provided financial backing to a local AIDS ministry in Oak Park and to a number of national groups committed to an inclusive church. St. John the Evangelist United Methodist/ Presbyterian Church Columbia, Maryland Worshipping in an Inter-Faith Center, this congregation of approximately 450 members shares space with Lutherans, Roman Catholics, and Baptists. Calling itself “multicultural,” this suburban congregation attracts people searching for community. The unanimous vote of its council to become a More Light Church and a Reconciling Congregation was an outgrowth of the congregation’s long history of openness to diversity. Central Congregational Church Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts A city church with 45 members and a small Sunday School, Central Church wants to be a growing congregation that meets the needs of people in its neighborhood and beyond. Autumn brings much activity with the Fall Fair and a community concert, featuring a performance by (and group “Power Sing” with) folk singer, Nick Page. The staff of this ONA church includes a part-time associate pastor who is openly lesbian and a seminarian who is openly gay. First Congregational Church San Rafael, California Situated near the Golden Gate Bridge, this active 60-member congregation is committed to being broadly inclusive. It is undertaking a major building remodeling project to make its facility more accessible, attractive, and useful. The church hopes to raise $250,000 for needed changes in its building and an additional “tithe” of that amount ($25,000) for mission. Members of the church are involved in a variety of ministries, including delivering meals to persons with AIDS. Since becoming ONA, the congregation has welcomed several gay persons into membership. First Congregational Church Corvallis, Oregon The 300 members of this semi-rural, active community of faith had just completed its stewardship drive when an unexpected expense was generated by a roof fire! While responding to that situation, the congregation continues its many ministries, especially for youth and children. In March 1996 youth traveled to Oregon’s Warm Springs Reservation to work on tribal housing and church renovation. In two years they plan to go to British Columbia. The church provides space for 300 people to attend the community’s Harvey Milk Awards Dinner and continues to explore other ways to express its ONA commitment. Klamath Falls Congregational UCC Klamath Falls, Oregon The 40 members and friends of this church seek “to listen and share in an open exploration of faith both within and beyond our covenant community.” Their outreach includes hosting the town’s “Coalition for Human Dignity,” helping to develop the Klamath Interfaith Network, and sponsoring “Preach Outs” where area ministers preach about and discuss social issues. In response to the needs of some of its neighborhood’s Hispanic residents, the congregation is establishing a multicultural tutorial program for children and adults. MORE LIGHT OPEN AND AFFIRMING Movement News 30 Open Hands To help raise funds for its many ministries, the church will have a booth at the Business and Professional Women’s Bazaar where they will sell their famous aebleskiver—Danish spherical pancakes! Nazareth UCC Chicago, Illinois A friendly little church in a big city, this 130-member congregation is diverse, growing, and excited about its future! Centered in lively worship, the church’s life encourages indepth caring among its members and meaningful outreach into community. The congregation, listed as Open and Affirming in the spring of 1995, continues to explore ways to live out its commitment “to recognize every person’s unique God-given gifts and be open to and affirming of all...” including people of all sexual orientations. Members are active in the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns and the AIDS Pastoral Care Network. Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church Saratoga Springs, New York Situated in a very conservative section of the country, members of this church reflect a wide spectrum of political and theological thought. In addition to worship and Bible study, the congregation hosts a soup kitchen, makes bimonthly food deliveries to people in need in the county, and participates in disaster relief work camps, including one in Appalachia and one in Puerto Rico. Members’ travels have also taken them to East and West Germany to help tear down the Berlin Wall. Youth in the church enjoy wilderness canoe trips and rock climbing. As a joint ONA and More Light church, this faith community continues contact with other congregations exploring the “welcoming movement.” United Christian Church Levittown, Pennsylvania This 100-member congregation (UCC and Disciples of Christ) in the suburbs of Philadelphia is characterized by its strong history of peace and justice involvement and an open, celebrative style of worship. The congregation is providing leadership in the religious community for those mobilizing against recent federal government cutbacks and similar state policies. It is active in voter registration. After forty-two years of worshipping in a “multi-purpose room,” the congregation is considering a recommendation to build a sanctuary. Augustana Lutheran Church Phoenix, Arizona When Augustana passed the affirmation of welcome, it became a testimonial to the power of perseverance. This urban congregation in downtown Phoenix first considered the RIC process ten years ago and tabled the discussion because it was too controversial. A persistent member kept bringing the subject back up every few years. The vote was tabled several more times. Finally, Augustana agreed to have a vote ten years after the process began and the vote was positive. After a long wait, Augustana became the first Lutheran church in Arizona to publicly welcome gay and lesbian members. Trinity Lutheran Church Lansdale, Pennsylvania Trinity, an historic church of well over 5100 members in suburban Philadelphia, is perhaps the largest congregation of any denomination ever to adopt an affirmation of welcome to gay and lesbian Christians. This outreach-oriented church has established many specialized ministries to serve its diverse membership. Members of the congregation learned of the RIC program at a Lutherans Concerned meeting and brought the idea back to the church for consideration and eventual approval. First United Methodist Church Los Gatos, California First UMC of Los Gatos, with 700 members, became a Reconciling Congregation in April 1995. Opportunities for spiritual growth include adult education classes, small groups, and service in the community. The congregation’s growing music ministry includes four choirs and occasional concerts. Children are nurtured in an active Sunday School, children’s choir, and many special events. A health ministries program provides educational events, support groups, and visitation. Fellowship happens at ethnic dinners, summer barbecues and Sunday brunches, Gathering of Men, and other social groups. Foundry United Methodist Church Washington, D.C. Foundry, one of the oldest and most influential churches in the nation’s capitol, was organized in 1814 with seed money from Henry Foxhall who owned a foundry in Georgetown. He established the church as an expression of his gratitude that his foundry was spared when the British attacked Washington during the War of 1812. The church has been at its present location—a mile north of the White House for ninety years. Foundry’s 1400 members participate in a wide array of education programs and fourteen mission groups addressing needs of homeless persons, refugees, persons with HIV/AIDs, prisoners, and other persons. The congregation also sponsors a preschool serving inner-city children. While the decision to designate itself an RC was made in October 1995, the church has been a welcoming congregation for years. RECONCILED IN CHRIST RECONCILING Spring 1996 31 Good Samaritan United Methodist Church Edina, Minnesota Good Samaritan, a church of 1000 members in the suburban community of Edina, is a congregation of mostly young families. A large Sunday School program is part of an extensive ministry with children and youth. The music program includes several choirs. Good Samaritan is recognized as a “socially conscious” church and supports several urban ministries, primarily with children. The congregation’s board voted unanimously be become an RC in April 1995. Temple United Methodist Church San Francisco, California An urban congregation of 325 members, Temple was formed by the joining together of four different congregations in the early 1950s. As a racially diverse congregation with persons from many nationalities, part of Temple’s ministry has become to train persons for ministry around the world. A contemporary and a more traditional worship service are offered each week. Small groups and Stephen Ministries offer opportunities for spiritual growth. An active music ministry includes bell, children’s, and adult choirs. The congregation houses a Headstart program and a Korean congregation. Several other community groups have offices or utilize meeting space in the building. After several years of study, Temple became an RC in June 1995. A Shower of Stoles from a Cloud of Witnesses A new Presbyterian project, Shower of Stoles, aims to recognize gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons who serve the church faithfully as ministers, elders, deacons, seminarians, musicians, teachers, youth leaders, mission volunteers, and a host of other roles. The stole collection, which already numbers over 100, was unveiled at the September 1995 meeting of Heartland Presbytery in Kansas City. It will be displayed again at the More Light Churches Network conference in May 1996 and worn and displayed throughout the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Albuquerque in July as a constant reminder to commissioners and guests of the host of gifts that are being denied by the denomination. Send stoles to: Martha Juillerat/Tammy Lindahl, 6146 Locust Street, Kansas City, MO 64110. If you cannot make your own, send a minimum donation of $5.00 and one will be made for you. Straight allies may send names for inclusion on an allies’ stole or a church may send one allies’ stole with signatures on it. Donations are encouraged to help cover cost of mailings and transportation of the display. Checks: to Martha Juillerat. Victory for More Light Movement In 1992 the Presbytery of Cincinnati established an Administrative Commission to correct the inclusive policy (ordination of gays and lesbians as elders and deacons) of the Session of the Mount Auburn Presbyterian Church. In January 1996 the Commission reported that Mount Auburn is a “vital, growing, and unified congregation,” and held that no action should be taken against the congregation until the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) resolves “the constitutional discrepancies” which are apparent in its policy that gay and lesbian persons cannot be ordained. Upon hearing the report of the Commission, the Presbytery voted to dismiss it. No action was taken against Mount Auburn, a significant victory for the More Light movement and the struggle to change denominational policy preventing ordination of gay men and lesbians. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Groundbreaking Curriculum Underway Claiming the Promise, a new ecumenical welcoming Bible study is being produced by the Reconciling Congregation Program, with sponsorship from eight additional denominational programs. The seven-session adult curriculum, available in the fall, will include a study book and leader’s guide. Sponsors include the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, Dignity (Roman Catholic), Integrity (Episcopal), More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian, U.S.A.), Open and Affirming Program of UCCL/GC (United Church of Christ), Reconciled in Christ Program of Lutherans Concerned (ELCA), Open & Affirming Program of GLAD (Disciples), and Supportive Congregations Network of the Brethren/Mennonite Council. KIRKRIDGE Gay, Lesbian, and Christian: Our Treasure John McNeill Virginia Mollenkott LaPaula Turner Scott Anderson Robert Raines June 6-9 Gay Male Rights of Passage: Moving Beyond Coming Out to Being Out Ken White John Linscheid August 16-18 We host a wide variety of workshops and have space for personal retreats-- please inquire! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * KIRKRIDGE Bangor, PA 18013 (610) 588-1793 a beautiful mountain retreat center 85 miles from NYC and Philadelphia 32 Open Hands If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Articles, personal stories, and poetry needed for theme on living in the “wilderness” on the growing edges of the welcoming movement. Wilderness is any place or situation of relative isolation from the network of welcoming churches. It may be reflected geographically, racially/culturally, in denial of call and alternate ministry, etc. Oasis in wilderness themes are welcome; e.g., your church offering an oasis of some kind in the midst of a broader wilderness related to gays and lesbians in the church. Write or call with idea: July 1 Manuscript deadline: October 1 Call for Articles for Winter 1997 Voices in the Wilderness The First National Gathering of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists August 16 – 18, 1996 — Evanston, Illinois Sharing and Celebrating our Common Mission through Workshops, Forums, Worship, Resources Keynote Address: Peggy and Tony Campolo For more information contact: The Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists P.O Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894 Phone & fax: 508/226-1945 e-mail: WABaptists@aol.com A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Programs. Upcoming Gatherings 3-5 May. More Light Conference, “Dance the Dream of Freedom.” Rochester, NY. Contact: Carolyn Klinge, 716/436-1078. 28-30 June. Supportive Congregations Network Gathering, “Dancing at the Table: Reimagining the Church.” North Manchester, IN. Contact: Jim Sauder, 612/305-0315. 30 June-3 July. United Church of Christ Lesbian/Gay Concerns Gathering, “Pluralism and Power.” Cambridge, MA. Contact: 800/ 653-0799. 11-14 July. Lutherans Concerned Assembly, Berkeley. CA. Contact: Bob Gibeling, 404/266-2730. 16-18 August. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists Gathering. See ad. 18-20 October. National Affirmation Fall Gathering, “Building/Exploring a Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Theology of Liberation.” New York City. Contact: National Affirmation, P.O. Box 1021, Evanston, IL 60204. RCP’s Open the Doors Campaign Converged on Denver Widespread excitement built as United Methodists across the country clearly called the church to “open its doors” to all people regardless of sexual orientation. As Open Hands went to press in mid-March, over 5000 persons had enrolled as Reconciling United Methodists with a goal of 9600 before General Conference in Denver, 16- 26 April 1996. Witness in Denver included: a press conference on 18 April where gay and lesbian laypersons and their families shared stories of pain and exclusion; a musical, “Caught in the Middle,” written by Jean Hodges of Boulder and Julian Rush of Denver; a special Open the Doors worship service with Dr. Tex Sample of St. Paul School of Theology as preacher; an Open the Doors Rally for youth, college students, and seminarians; special skits and surprise witness events; and a hospitality/education center. It’s not too late to enroll as a Reconciling United Methodist. Plans are evolving for follow-up meetings in September. Contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. It’s time to Open the Doors! ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card _________________________________________________________ Signature _____________________________________________________________ My Name _____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip __________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church __________________________________________________________ Denomination __________________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No 4 - Church Conflict: Living with It! Learning From it! https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0cf25f1986af1788f4d0192ea6c3bc15.pdf 0260ae089eb158b7a231d1fbae8e4261 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 1 Summer 1996 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 1 Summer 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality AIRING OUT CLOSETS LOOKING CLOSER What Is a Closet? 4 TIMOTHY TUTT A “walk-in” becomes a “storeroom.” Peeking Out 6 GAYE JANESDAUGHTER Coming out is a long process, influenced by others. Coming Out! 7 ERWIN C. BARRON That dancing figure for Coming Out Day scares us! Trouble Behind the Door 8 LEANNE M. TIGERT Closets cause spiritual and psychological violence. SEEING BOTH SIDES Closeted Mom: A Sign of Respect 10 ANONYMOUS This mom wants to be more “out” than her gay son. Confession: A Male – Age 80 – 1996 12 WILLIAM N. WINGSTROM No one pushed him. No one encouraged him. Reconciling Janet 13 JANET JACOBS HUEBSCH She lost contact with her best friend but a welcoming church brought forth a special kind of reconciliation. A Married Gay Pastor Stays In 14 JACOB GUERDON BLACK Four dilemmas confront this pastor. A Father’s Legacy 15 SARA DAVIES A college student reflects on her journey with her Dad. Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 (New area code as of Oct. 12: 773) Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Summer 1996 3 SWINGING OPEN God’s Promise 16 RANDY HOUSTON A double coming out—as gay and as HIV+—sets him free. God’s Coming Out...In a New Reformation! 18 GEORGE D. MCCLAIN Where we’ve been and where we’re headed. Working as Allies: Opening Church Doors 20 BETTY JO BIRKHAHN-ROMMELFANGER Pastor/local church ally with gay men and lesbians. Allies Inside Closed Doors 22 PAUL SANTILLÁN Leaders have permission to break locks, take off hinges. Breaking Silence 23 BARBARA MCFADDEN A straight spouse comes out. Airing Out Spouses’ Closets 24 DONALD W. SINCLAIR A pastor in PFLAG starts a straight spouses’ group. Tips 26 ANITA C. HILL AND SUSAN L. THORTON Someone has come out in your congregation—now what? You want to come out to a search committee—how? SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “Amazing Grace” (New Words) 27 JUDY FJELL Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Mark Schnaderbeck Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 773/736-5526 (Oct. 12) Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Next Issue: Gender Realities Transgender and Transsexual Stories ASIDES In ............................................ 5 S. WARD Out ......................................... 5 STINA POPE In Exchange for Silence ......... 11 KAREN A. MCCLINTOCK Loving Faithfully .................... 12 RITA NAKASHIMA BROCK Out ....................................... 15 KAREN A. MCCLINTOCK No Outing/No Silencing! ...... 17 MARTHA L. OLNEY Opening Spousal Closets ...... 23 RESOURCES Family Closets ....................... 24 MITZI HENDERSON Straight Spouses Need .......... 25 PFLAG/HOUSTON SELECTED RESOURCES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 29 4 Open Hands It’s a simple question. What is a closet? As a third grade teacher, I can imagine the answers I would get if I were to ask my students. “It’s where you put your clothes.” “It’s where I stuff things when I have to clean my room.” “My closet is the messiest room in the house!” “I hide things there so nobody will ever find them!” “Yeah, I keep things from my nosy brother and sister in my closet!” After hearing all those responses, the teacher in me would have said, “Well, those are all wonderful thoughts, and thanks so much for being open enough to share them with all of us!” General Dimensions Now, I have some questions for us to ponder: What is a closet for the lesbian, gay, transgendered, or bisexual person? What is a closet for their friends and family? What is a closet for a church congregation? I suggest that the answers to these questions are nearly the same as the children might give. “It’s where things are put that aren’t needed for the moment.” “It’s where things are quickly stashed when someone demands ‘cleaning up’.” “It can also be a cluttered place.” “Some might even want to ‘clean’ it for you...” “Things are hidden there for no one to see.” “Things are hidden there in fear of others who might be overly ‘curious’.” Almost every dwelling has some sort of closet—and many of us and our churches have them too. Personal “Walk-In” I started building my closet nearly thirty years ago as a four-year-old, sitting on a porch with my God-fearing grandmother in Kentucky, when I mentioned that I loved my best friend, Greg. “You can’t do that,” she responded. “But you said that God wants us to love everybody...” “This is different. You’re not supposed to love other boys.” From that point on, my closet became so big and cared for that I even chose to live in it. As I grew up, I was strengthened (and callused) from racial By Timothy Tutt Summer 1996 5 experiences and I learned to create a voice as a black male in a predominately white Iowan society. Yet, at the same time, I was weakened from hearing “sissy” and “homo” at school and in the neighborhood. Just hearing those words instilled fear in me, even if they were directed at someone else. I was also weakened from hearing at church, time and time again, about the fire and brimstone that awaited homosexuals, and from listening to some of the youth from my church brag about going downtown to “save queers”— which amounted to driving by and shouting barbs as they passed by. I was weakened by my mother’s longing desire for her only son to marry (a woman) and bear her grandchildren. During all of this, I knew that I had homosexual thoughts and feelings but I also figured that, if I stored them in my huge, “walk-in” closet, they would either be forgotten or the heterosexual “moths” that I was trying to gather would gnaw away at them until those thoughts and feelings withered away. Then I had another problem—my closet was getting full. In the summer of 1985, I decided that instead of ripping out more of myself to create additional closet space, I could put some of the many items that I stored there to good use. That’s when I became strengthened (and callused) from experiences dealing with sexual orientation and I learned to create a voice as a gay black male in a predominately straight white Iowan society. I also found a new church home after hearing that The United Church of Christ had just passed a resolution affirming gay and lesbian people at their synod nearby in Ames. I wanted to attend a church where I could freely worship God in the sanctuary, not the closet. Today, my closet is a room where I store things at certain times. I’m fortunate to teach in a district that includes “sexual orientation” in its fairness policy. I attend an Open and Affirming church. (And I’m proud to have played a small role in creating both of those environments.) While my pride and selfesteem are pretty good, I still feel the need to use my closet to store those personal things when I do not feel it is safe to have them on display. For example, at times my openness and concern—especially for youth—is construed by some as intimidation and “recruitment.” I also use my closet when I sense that my primary concerns will get lost in the clouds of someone else’s misunderstanding. Yes, I have a closet. However, I refuse to go back to the days when my closet was a place of residence and denial. I am an “open and out” gay man. I have spoken to hundreds in panel discussions. I have been interviewed and pictured in newspapers after marching in pride parades. I have set up tables for the United Church Coalition of Lesbian/ Gay Concerns at the annual state meeting of the United Church of Christ and have spoken at general sessions and workshops there. My friendships are defined by the openness I am allowed to display. If I sense discomfort about my sexual orientation (or any other aspect of my life, for that matter) from another person that I’m getting know, that person will be nothing more than an “acquaintance” or “colleague.” In ...I lived in a room where I had no perception of any windows or doors. For most of my life, I had no sense that there was anything outside of the room. Much of the time I was quite content, or so I thought. I was able to be relatively productive and I had friends who lived with me in the room. We would sometimes remark that we were so happy to be in the room together. Wasn’t life grand here. It was wonderful... and yet, it wasn’t.... Sometimes I would dream... colors... flashes of light... nothing that really made sense... a crazy notion would come that there was something more or different than life in this room.... —S. Ward From “Living Between the Times” Unpublished article © 1991 Individualized Rooms So what is a closet? To me, a closet is a room of personal convenience, storage, and safety, not only for our valuables, but for our valuable selves. However, the meaning of “closet” is as personal and individualized as all of us. In this issue, people will share their experiences of how “the closet” has played a role in their individual and congregational lives. To these writers, the thirdgrade teacher once again responds, “Well, those are all wonderful thoughts, and thanks so much for being open enough to share them with all of us!” ▼ Timothy Tutt is a member of the Coalition Council for the United Church Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Concerns of The United Church of Christ. He resides in Des Moines, Iowa, where he teaches third grade and attends Plymouth Congregational, an ONA church. Out Why be out as pastor? I choose not to live in fear. I don’t have to worry about anyone outing me to my boss, congregation, or bishop. I don’t have to spend the energy to keep the closet door closed. I am free to rejoice about who I am. Which leads me to integrity. I value truth-telling. I understand falsehood as sin, sometimes necessary in our fallen world but always evil. Jesus told us that the truth would set us free. When I choose to “pass” as straight, I engage in falsehood, in evil. I do not value who and what I am. I buy in to the radical right’s claim that we are something that should not exist, at least not in the light. I claim the light. Stina Pope, M.Div., is the assistant for mission and evangelism at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in Atlanta, Georgia. 6 Open Hands When non-gays use the term “coming out of the closet,” it sounds like one step: someone was IN the closet and then she came OUT. Simple. And maybe it is that simple for some—but for most people I know, coming out is not a debutante ball that family and friends celebrate with you. It is a process that is as different and unique as the individuals involved. My own coming out has been a “peeking out of the closet” process. I am “out” to a few, not to many. I test the atmosphere before I dare to poke my head out. My first gay pride march in New York City emboldened me a bit. Then my next gay pride march in Washington, D.C. gave me more courage. Part of my hesitation has been my own timidity; part, in the past, was to respect the wishes of my young sons. Nowadays I need to protect my partner. I have been a single parent since 1974, the year my second son was born. I came Peekiing Outt By Gaye Janesdaughter When I started graduate social work school two years ago, I peeked out of the closet a bit more and formed the first lesbian and gay support group on the college campus. That was pretty out! Now, however, at my new job I’m still only out to some because my partner is known in the business community. To “out” her would seriously jeopardize her job. I was brought up by my grandmother who was the daughter of a Presbyterian minister. In church I was taught that Jesus was the “light of the world” which shone on all the darkness and brought forth the truth, the hope, and the healing in this world. May the light of Jesus shine in every dark and lonely gay closet and may each gay person feel free to come out when she or he is ready, in her or his own unique way. ▼ Gaye Janesdaughter is the pseudonym of a woman who wrote the poem “Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way” (see Open Hands, Winter 1996). She reports that the Episcopalian priest who inspired that poem in 1990 has, in 1996, welcomed her into his family as the godmother of his twin girls. A redemptive moment! out to myself in 1985 when my sons were eleven and twelve. They didn’t want me to be “out” in the community, fearing ridicule. Their fears were somewhat justified. When a fellow student’s sister appeared on Donahue as a lesbian, that student was ridiculed and harassed terribly in my sons’ school. When my kids were thirteen and fourteen, I met my present partner, whom they both liked and respected. My life changed dramatically in 1992 when my younger son died at age eighteen. Having lost a child has put life’s problems in a different perspective for me. I am no longer as timid about being out as I used to be. For instance, no one can scare me with threats of death. I’m happy to be alive, but since I have someone to see on the other side, I think I’ll be happy there, too. My older son, now twenty-three and a college graduate, says he would never even date a woman, much less marry her, if she didn’t accept my sexual orientation. Summer 1996 7 room within my soul that is shut off to the world and that I try desperately to keep God out of! We all have our closets of the soul that we don’t want some dancing fool opening up. All of us, gay and straight and everywhere in between, all of us...have one of those closets...that space that we keep closed to friends, closed even to spouses and partners, and especially closed to the church. And we try to close that space to God! So Haring’s cheery, little dancing idiot opening the closet door literally scares the hell out of me.... When I asked my Bible concordance about “coming out,” the computer went crazy, spitting out references. There are over a hundred of them! And they even come from good Hebrew and Greek concepts: yatza and exerchomai. They mean “to come out” and I was astonished at how often these words were used with genuine significance. In the Old Testament, the most frequent use of yatza is to describe the Israelites’ experience as they left the oppression and slavery of Egypt. In fact, the phrase is almost a chorus in several places. “Remember when you came out from Egypt.” What a very appropriate image for us. May God assist us too, as God helped the Israelites, to come out of the slavery and oppression of our Egypts. God wants us to come out of slavery and will help any way that God can. In one of the most tragic and poignant moments in the New Testament, Jesus faces the loss of his dear friend Lazarus. He goes up to the dark cold cave, full of the smell of death, where his friend is buried. With all the authority he can muster, through tears, he commands: Lazarus, COME OUT! You might think the words “come out,” as used in the Bible, take on a totally different meaning from the way we’re using them. But I don’t think so. I think God really does want us to open up that dark closet of our souls and come out. God celebrates what is in that closet— our sexuality. It is a good thing which should be out in the light! God does not want us to have to hide an important part of who we are. We are called by God to open up that closet door to the rest of our world. We are to dance in celebration like Haring’s little figure...and with God celebrating at our side, we are to come out! Amen! ▼ Source This article is excerpted from a sermon preached in PLGC worship, Presbytery of Twin Cities Area, on Presbyterian “Coming Out” Sunday, March 6, 1994, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Printed in More Light Update (October 1994), P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903. Haring’s drawing is used by permission of NCOD. Erwin C. Barron is a Presbyterian pastor in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Comiing Outt!! By Erwin C. Barron That little guy always terrified me! I know you’ve seen him—that little dancing figure in Keith Haring’s line drawing done for national “coming out” day. He or she (it could be either) is dancing merrily with one hand still hanging on inside as he or she steps out of a closet. It’s a great little drawing that speaks worlds about coming out. But the little guy always terrified me! It’s not so much the coming out, or the dancing, or any of that.... It’s that open closet door! What is lurking within that closet as this foolish little fellow stands there cheerily holding that door wide open? It’s not really homosexuality that is behind that door, although Lord knows, it’s a big part of that hidden darkness for the church. But that makes the closet door only an issue for a few of us. No, what’s so thoroughly sealed up in the closet is S-E-X. That’s how my father and mother talked about it. Sexuality was completely private, never talked about in the family, or in the general public, and especially not in church! S-E-X! We had better keep that stuff securely bolted up within the dark confines of our locked bedroom, and only within legal marriage, and better yet, only under the covers with the lights out, and only when absolutely necessary. That’s how I grew up. I have gotten better.... But I still have this dark little 8 Open Hands These are the dilemmas that people bring into my office as they struggle to deal with the painful choices of coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. As a self-identified lesbian certified pastoral counselor, I am struck with how gay, lesbian, and bisexual people really are like others. We don’t come out inside a vacuum. We bring our own histories, needs, scars, strengths, and gifts to the process. The significance of this occurred to me most recently while leading a psychotherapy group on self-esteem for gay/lesbian/bisexual people. Each member of this group was more closeted than he or she wanted to be. Each was recovering from painful and complicated family histories. Each person’s self-identity and esteem had been battered and bruised by family dynamics that had nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Nonetheless, the impact on their coming out was huge. In addition to the impact of their family dynamics, each was struggling with the effects of spiritual and psychological violence done to them by persons and church communities who were exhibiting homophobic behaviors. Spiritual Violence Once, during worship at Spirit of the Mountains Church, I read a selection from an article in the magazine, Alive Now. We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself.1 One man began to cry. He stated that he was beginning to believe that God really might love him, no matter what his family or the church of his childhood had said. The spiritual violence done to lesbian, gay, and bisexual souls may be the strongest of conspiracies that seek to keep us closeted. How can one be expected to confront the homophobic realities of the world if, at our spiritual core, we have internalized a message of shame and alienation from God? A gay man who had been previously married once told me that, when married, he loved church and went every Sunday. However, after he divorced and came out, he would get nauseous in worship and have to leave. Like Lazarus, these two gay men and others of us need a community of faith and a powerful and personal friendship “I am a lesbian. I got married to prove I was straight. I want to come out, but I have a thirteen- year-old daughter. My husband’s friends say things like, ‘They ought to put all the gay people on an island and blow it up’.” “I am a teacher. The principal at my school was fired a few years ago because she was a lesbian. I’m sick of pretending to be a single man, but I am afraid to lose my job or to face my family if I do.” “I am a survivor of incest. I have such low self-esteem. I don’t want to come out to anybody because I can’t face any more rejection.” By Leanne M. Tigert Summer 1996 9 with God in order to be released from the spiritual death in which homophobia seeks to encase us. Psychological Violence Closely related to this spiritual violence are the many psychological effects resulting from living within a homophobic society. Psychological theory states that we develop a sense of ourselves by how other people relate to us. Throughout life we continue to be motivated and informed by our relationships with others, often projecting onto others our own beliefs and fears. The effects of homophobic and sexist fears and beliefs projected onto us by others can be profound. For example, I recently spoke with a lesbian who is having emotional difficulties. She says, “I have become a pro at knowing and being what everyone else thinks I am and wants me to be, but I have no clue as to who I am or who I want to be.” Then she told me a story. At about age eleven she had been riding her bicycle down the road, with her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. She whizzed past a boy and his mother who commented (loudly enough for her to hear) that she looked like a boy. “It devastated me, it frightened me—I went into hiding and have never come out.” Homophobic projections do not need to be experienced in childhood to have devastating effects. Several years ago, a gay couple who were both very active members of the church I served asked to hold their covenant service in the sanctuary. Unfortunately, the deacons denied their request. A few months later, this couple broke up with very little investment in trying to stay together. I believe that they internalized the homophobic message from the diaconate: that same-gender relationships are not to be publicly affirmed and blessed by God. Often people carry shame for being closeted, as well as shame for being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. People cope in many ways, usually the best way they know how. Sometimes people cope in ways that hurt themselves— addictions, eating disorders, and other self-destructive behaviors. …someday we may all whiz down the street together, with our hair pulled back… Many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people with whom I work have experienced symptoms common to survivors of trauma: a sense of foreboding, hypervigilence, depression, and low selfesteem, among others.2 Such persons live in perpetual trauma, continuing to be victimized by homophobic comments and behaviors of other persons. The difference between “closeted” and being “out” is the difference between carrying the secret of the trauma and confronting the perpetrator(s). Congregational Support Church communities and pastors need to offer positive “out” role models and be welcoming, listening communities. In order to make healthy informed choices, people need to speak and be heard. The forty-five-year-old woman who spoke of being perceived as a boy at age eleven needed to tell her therapist, but this is only the beginning. She needs to speak and listen within a community that has had many such experiences and that can help her move through pain towards a spiritual and psychological wholeness. Who knows, someday we may all whiz down the street together, with our hair pulled back, enjoying that we are not defined or isolated by others’ beliefs and projections of gender and sexual orientation. ▼ Notes 1Alive Now (March/April 1996). 2From the DSM-IV, the manual for diagnosing psychological disorders. Leanne M. Tigert, D.Min., is an ordained UCC minister and fellow in the American Association of Pastoral Counselors. She practices psychotherapy at Womankind Counseling Center and is pastor of Spirit of the Mountains in Concord, New Hampshire. She is the author of Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Gays/Lesbians/Bisexuals in the Church. Passages to Homosexual Spiritual Maturity the passage into self-love the passage into love of each other the passage into public witness to God’s love for us. See Catholic theologians Evelyn and James Whitehead, Seasons of Strength: New Visions of Adult Christian Maturing (Image/Doubleday, 1986), ch. 4; also John McNeill, Freedom, Glorious Freedom: The Spiritual Journey to the Fullness of Life for Gays, Lesbians, and Everybody Else (Beacon, 1995), chs. 6-8. 10 Open Hands The phone rang near midnight one October evening in 1992. I knew it had to be our twenty-five-yearold son calling from Houston. Late night calls always meant another crisis in his continuing struggle to make it on his own in a strange city. No permanent job yet. Someone broke into his car. He and his roommate had another bitter argument. And always, money problems. I took a deep breath and asked, “How’s it going, son?” His voice was low as the litany of troubles began. His voice broke with tears and a long pause before he added, “And Mom, I’m gay.” He waited for me to respond. I’d been waiting for several years for him to tell me. My feelings and long-held questions rushed to fill the space. “I’m not surprised. I’ve been waiting for you to tell us. How long have you known? Why did you wait so long? Is your health all right?” I felt no shock, just relief that we could finally connect around an awareness I had had since he was a little boy. I had always known he was special; I just didn’t know his uniqueness had a label. I felt no shame, no guilt, just a rush of compassion for the deep sadness I heard in his voice. “You sound so lonely,” I said. I worried that he might be suicidal. “Can I call _____ (a gay minister/friend)?” “Yes, but don’t tell...”and he named his brother, relatives, close family friends. “This is nobody’s else’s business. You can only talk about it if someone asks you directly if I’m gay.” I hung up the phone and sighed. My son’s coming out to his father and me put us in the closet of privacy he had lived in for ten years. This may be the most painful act of love I have ever had to live. I am a teacher who helps people learn to open up to each other. I, who teach others to be honest and real, now had to learn to keep a secret. I, who easily share personal stories as a way of illustrating principles of human interaction, now had to close the door on one of the most effective teaching tools I knew. I had to choose between honoring my son’s strong sense of privacy and my own need to share my pride in having such a special son. His fear of being treated as a freak by people who had long respected him was my discovery that internalized homophobia runs deep for many gay people. In my speech and debate classes I listened to both sides of the arguments to support an amendment to the state constitution which would eliminate the right of homosexuals to protection against discrimination in employment and housing. I had to listen to the insults hurled at homosexuals by misinformed, fearful people and absorb the hurt on behalf of someone I love. I could not show them a picture of my tall handsome son to confront the stereotyped image of the “wimpy, limp-wristed, lisping fag” that some students find to be so revolting. I did not have permission to say to the old-timers in my church who reject making a public statement to welcome gays, lesbians and bisexuals, “Don’t you know that you have watched a boy grow up to be an Eagle Scout and he no longer feels welcome in your pews?” Church members wonder why I feel so passionate about this Anonymous Summer 1996 11 As it became clearer to him that he was himself a lover of men trapped in a marriage, the darkness of another kind encroached; To abandon the family was far too cruel and so he decided to abandon himself, to embrace the lie and to live suburbanly unhappy. After all, there was the country club to luncheon at, the card games he loved, an office full of women, no harm there. And maybe he could keep himself occupied at home with books and art, and a room of his own to hide within. A family pact was made without my input the year (or was it one day?) my father faced the truth about his sexuality. Somewhere, deeply hidden, a gut wrenching fact emerged, and rose up into his chest tightening its vice grip of pain. And in that moment he knew his disinterest in my mother’s warm body had nothing to do with her style or form or behavior. A floodgate opened in his memory river and scenes poured forth in montage, closing the chasmic distance between his head and his heart. (The high school friend, the army buddies, the Italian with the tight muscles, the girl he was engaged to and broke it off with.) Mother never said one word to him about this truth, blessedly, “and to her credit” he would have said. A silent co-conspirator, she entered the closet too and raised us girls within its walls to follow suit and keep the peace. No blood oath was taken, no contract signed; yet this undocumented pact has left me to find my way out of my father’s closet. Karen A. McClintock is minister of faith development at First Christian Church in Medford, Oregon. Her poetry emerges from her spiritual practice of daily journal writing. II N EXXCHANGE FOR SIILLENCE By Karen A. McClintock subject. “Does she have a gay child?” they ask a minister. If they knew, would that only cause them to dismiss my concern as obvious self-interest? The church members resist change out of fear of divisiveness. My son clings to his privacy as a cloak of protection. I try to practice the patience of waiting when I want to scream the message of God’s love that is available for all persons! I hate it in the closet. I mourn more for being so imprisoned by my son whom I love so much than I ever did for the truth that he was different. Friends in PFLAG laugh when I tell of my repressed state. “Parents are the ones who normally go into the closet when their kids come out,” they tell me. “You’re the first parent we’ve met who wants to be more ‘out’ than her child.” It’s true that I do not submit passively to his “gag rule.” I keep pushing him to let up on his control of who I can tell. Over the past four years, he has consented to my telling my brother who had guessed long before and who found it no big deal. I have permission to talk privately to my gay students who talk to me in confidentiality. When I have been asked by PFLAG to be interviewed for a newspaper article, I have declined. Each time I ask permission for further public disclosure, I am met with a tirade. “Mother, we’ve been through this before. It’s my life! I have been lenient with you but you can’t ‘out’ me... You don’t know what it’s like! I’m afraid that I might lose my job. That’s all that I have to build my future security!” I withdraw my request because I really cannot know the fear that is so real to him. I cannot deny that he must be in charge of his own life. But what about my life? Do I have any rights as a parent of a gay child? I am torn between my loyalty to my son’s need for privacy and my fierce maternal instinct combined with a strong social conscience that wants to confront a society which oppresses sexual minorities. I agree with Robert A. Bernstein’s point in his book, Straight Parents/Gay Children, that parents of gay children must play a key role in addressing society’s bigotry and ignorance about the assumption that homosexuals are “rare freaks.” I want to liberate my son and all those who fear unfair treatment and loss of civil rights for being gay in a straight world. I do believe with all my heart that “the truth will set us free.” But I can’t impose that understanding on a person who has withdrawn into a social life he has built with his gay friends because he needs to be comfortable. Learning to live in a closet can be seductive because it feels safe. I will reluctantly stand inside the closet with my son, but my foot wedges the door open and I continue to pray for the light of openness for us all. ▼ 12 Open Hands I can’t remember how old I was. I remember that I was attending Dewey School in Evanston, Illinois. Dewey was a primary school so it must have been when I was in the fifth or sixth grade. I was a big kid for my age. No one pushed me. No one encouraged me. No one asked me. I didn’t read about it. As a matter of fact I had no choice. It was automatic. It just happened one day on the playground. Like Adam, what I saw was “a delight to the eye and was to be desired.” Somehow it came to me that these creatures, the nuisances, were not just a millstone around a fellow’s neck. Instead, they created in me a warm and pleasant feeling and I wanted to be with them. On that day, I knew in my heart of hearts that I liked girls. I was always one to activate my thoughts so I began to chase girls. I was persistent in my chase. I was helpless. No scolding or threats or prayers of my parents lessened my feeling about girls. I continued the chase until I was twenty-five years old when one of them caught me. We established a relationship and, after fifty years, the relationship changed—my partner, my mate, my love died. The relationship was not created in heaven, although sometimes I thought it must have been. It began in Winnetka, Illinois and, after suffering through six years of separation occasioned by World War II and thirty-seven changes of address, came to a close in Napa, California. I expect it was like most marriages with some downs but mostly ups. It was wonderful. To have someone always with you and for you is an indescribably delightful experience. To have someone whom I cared for and helped to be all she could really be made me feel I was “just a little less than the gods.” It was such a wonderful experience that I continue it in my heart and take courage that not even death shall separate us. My faith, which was nurtured and grew in that relationship, makes me believe that one day we will be together again. I can’t explain it—to me it just is. Most experience indicates that lesbians and gays have no more choice than I did when I awoke one day and decided I liked girls. I don’t really understand why a man would choose another man to be his life mate. But I don’t think it is as important that I understand the process as it is for me to accept them and allow them to live their lives as I have lived mine, with the same rights that I have enjoyed. I want also to confess that I don’t understand why many of my heterosexual friends chose the partners they did. I have also heard many parents say that they didn’t understand the choices made by their children. I guess one day all of us will have to accept the truth— that God made us in His image. He didn’t make the world in our image. God the Creator created differences. All of us are very similar but there are obvious differences: skin texture and color, eye and hair color, weight, height, foot and hand size. God made these differences and more. As a Christian I remember that God said what He created was good. I accept God as the author of differences. As a Christian, I want to follow Jesus’ basic teaching: “Love one another.” I believe at the very least this means that we must accept one another. I accept what God has created. I accept that God is wiser than I am. I accept gays and lesbians. Lastly (and I have been lasting for a long time) I want to confess that I had such a rich, varied, wonderful, loving life with Nan that I could not live with myself if I did anything to deprive another of the same opportunity. ▼ William N. Wingstrom is a retired associate member of the California-Nevada Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church. He lives in Napa, California. Loving Faithfully We cannot understand loving faithfully by lauding heterosexual marriage and condemning homosexual relationships instead of asking what we might learn from seeing how love is made manifest in any relationship. We need to know how life is enhanced, pain and suffering healed, creativity encouraged, promises kept, and each person able to flourish. Under the lens of those criteria, many marriages would fail and many same-sex relationships would stand as examples to us all. —Rita Nakashima Brock Excerpted from sermon “Walking in the Moonlight” General Assembly, Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) Pittsburgh, October 23, 1995 By William N. Wingstrom Summer 1996 13 I was just fifteen, away from home for the first time and scared to death. I was a college freshman and dying to look and act as old as all the others. He was golden, blond, funny, and an upperclassman. He had a wonderful cynical way of looking at things and thought that I was delightful. We were destined to be best friends, and we were. Ron taught me how to make the most of my southern accent, how to walk in four-inch heels and to wave like Miss America. He took me to my first frat dance, steered me around the killer courses and professors, and was stricter than my father to all my prospective dates. He was there to “dish” the morning after. He was also there when my heart was “totally broken” and I contemplated becoming the first Methodist nun. And I was there for him the first time he said he was “gay” out loud. I went with him the first time he went to a gay dance bar. He was afraid that no one would ask him to dance. He shouldn’t have been; he was the best dancer there— and the most popular. Even though we later finished at different colleges and went on to work, Ron was always the best kind of friend—the kind that you could call at 3 A.M. to drop everything to rescue you. When he said everything would be all right, you knew it was true. And when he thought that he would never really love anyone, I knew he was wrong and told him so and he believed me. And I was right. He knew even before I did that I was in love with Jim, and told me so. I said he was crazy and only saying that because Jim was the first person I ever dated that he approved of. It turned out we were both right. Later, when I decided to get married, he arrived at the wedding with the motor running and enough money for a couple of months in Mexico if I was having second thoughts. I wasn’t, but just knowing he was there and would understand made it even more right and wonderful. When I was pregnant with Jamie, he was the first person outside of the family to know. He was also the only one who understood how worried I was about having the necessary skills to be a good mother. He understood but wasn’t worried at all. The jury is still out on that one, but I think he may be right. After Jamie was born, I became so focused in motherhood and family that I didn’t see him as often. We had supper a few times, but balancing home, family, and a full time job didn’t leave much time for other things. So, when he became sick and didn’t want to see me as often, I didn’t think too much about it. Somehow the few weeks became a few months and the few months became almost a year. We moved and he moved and I lost touch. That was fourteen years ago. At some point, AIDS entered my consciousness and I was sure he had died. I remembered his symptoms and how bad he looked. A part of my heart was gone. I hurt because I had allowed him to become lost to me. There was a sadness that never went away. In 1994 I moved to San Francisco and joined Bethany United Methodist Church. Bethany is a church concerned about social justice, with a dynamic minister and a welcoming congregation filled with friendly, giving people who soon became my friends. It is also a Reconciling Congregation. I thought that was a wonderful thing. It was the biblically right and socially just thing to be. It was wonderful that my gay and lesbian friends were able to worship openly. But being a Reconciling Congregation had no real connection with me. It was just the right thing to do. One of the things I really love about Bethany is the community prayer and the passing of the peace. For us touchyfeely southern types, a hug is a major part of worship. One Sunday I was listening to the prayer request of Terry who had been sitting in front of me for the last year and a half. He asked for prayers for his former lover, Ron ___________, who had just died. I hadn’t even known Terry had known Ron. In that instant, being a part of an RC church became very real to me. Because Bethany is the kind of church that it is, Terry could ask for prayers for his friend, I could hear them, and a part of me was healed. My lost friend was found, and though he had died, he was again alive for me. I rejoice that God gave him many more years, most of them happy, healthy, and wonderful ones. That day when I hugged Terry in the passing of the peace, I felt the long connection with my friend. I know now that being a part of a Reconciling Congregation is a very real part of me. From now on it can be no other way. We are all God’s marvelous creations and we must all be welcome in his church. Many years ago God gave me a loving friend, and when I thought he was lost to me, God gave me an even more loving gift—the gift of reconciliation. God is good. ▼ Janet Jacobs Huebsch, a member of Bethany United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in San Francisco, lives with her husband Jim and son Jamie. She serves on the board of directors of a private school and is a grant writer. ReconcilingReconciling Reconciling RReeccoonncciilliinngg Janet By Janet Jacobs Huebsch 14 Open Hands • I am made in the image of God, loved by God, and have a very personal and real sense of relationship with Christ as Lord. • My gay orientation is a beautiful gift from God and not a sinful perversion of God’s intent for me and my life. • I have no guilt or shame about who I am and am grateful for the gifts God has given me and the blessings God has bestowed upon me and my ministry. • I believe my homosexuality has been a gift to make me a creative, compassionate, more loving pastor. But there remains the dilemma of the gay, married pastor: • To remain within my denomination forces me to be totally closeted. I do not believe this is dishonest or hypocritical because, if I did “come out of the closet,” I would probably be excommunicated and/or denied any further pastoral ministries. • I dearly love my wife. We have a fine marriage, are best friends, and share the hopes, dreams, pain, and joy of the years. The pain comes mainly from not being able to share my homosexuality with my wife. It would probably mean the end of our marriage and that is not an option for me. • To come out to my children and siblings would cause some family ruptures, so that is not an option. • To come out to the people in the churches I have served would also serve no good purpose. At about age twelve, I began to feel that I was different—and in my community anyone who felt attraction to a person of the same sex was “queer.” I lived in fear of being known by such a derogatory name, so I hid my feelings from everybody and was ashamed of my sexual desires. My activity with other boys and young men in grade school and high school was limited and unfulfilling. Because I went to a Presbyterian-related college and had been in the Christian church all my life, there was only one thing for me to do (I thought) and that was to marry. I have been married for over forty years to a lovely and creative woman who has been a great mother of our children and a very fine wife. In my early twenties, I felt called to what was then named “the Gospel Ministry,” attended seminary, and have been ordained for thirty-five years, serving in small and large churches as staff and senior pastor. But—I was always gay, always closeted, and, for twenty-five years while our children were growing up, totally nonpracticing as a gay man. About ten years ago, I gave up celibacy and have been a very happy and satisfied gay man, though still totally closeted. No one in my family—wife, children, or siblings—or any members of churches where I have served know I am gay. I have not practiced my gay life with any members of the churches where I have served. In the past ten years I have read as many books as possible from all viewpoints on the gay Christian person. I spent many days and nights researching all relevant Bible passages. My conclusions, as of now: I know there are those who would counsel me to be honest, to “come out of the closet,” but I believe there would be too much pain all around and some broken relationships. I know there are others who might counsel me to repent of my sin and at least become a celibate homosexual for the sake of my marriage, family, and friends, but I believe that my spirituality and sexuality are so closely related that to suppress or deny one is to hinder the full and honest acceptance of the other. I am on a journey toward being a whole, complete, and mature person as created in the image of God— and spirituality and sexuality are two very important elements of that wholeness. I do not feel I am unfaithful to my ordination vows, my call to ministry, or my service to Christ… I do not feel I am unfaithful to my ordination vows, my call to ministry, or my service to Christ through the church. Nowhere in my vows, when I was ordained thirty-five years ago, were there any suggestions, questions, or issues of sexual orientation or behavior. God have mercy on us all! ▼ Source This story is adapted and reprinted from More Light Update, February 1996. Used with permission. Jacob Guerdon Black is a pseudonym. By Jacob Guerdon Black Summer 1996 15 Not all parents are straight. I didn’t know that until I was thirteen and my dad told my mom, my sister, and me that he was gay. People say that when a parent comes out, the rest of the family goes into the closet. That was true for us. My secure world fell apart when I learned that my dad wasn’t really the person I always thought he was. I was angry and hurt and I couldn’t talk about it with anyone except my mom and sister. We moved to Boulder when I was a sophomore. Amendment 2 was on the ballot and, although I spoke up about gay rights, I never felt free to reveal my personal connection. I heard the hatred other people used against homosexuals and it made me feel like an outcast. I thought no one would accept me if I told them about my dad. I hated to think how they would talk about him if they knew. That would be unbearable. My teachers ignored the remarks, so I would usually sit quietly and listen. When the arguments got heated beyond normal debate, I personalized what they said. I felt hated. “Why can’t I tell them?” I asked myself. My anger and isolation was only intensified when we learned my dad’s final secret: he was HIV positive. In the middle of the night we had a phone call: “He’s not going to make it!” By then I had to tell one or two close friends because I couldn’t bear the weight of my sorrow alone. By the time I was a junior in high school, I was fed up with high school and the foolishness of my peers. I was ready to come out, but I still had to keep the secret because my younger sister wasn’t there yet. As my dad’s secrets became known (there is no hiding the effects of AIDS), he changed. Society had forced him to live a lie because he wanted so badly to conform to social expectations. He thought that if he married and had a family, he could continue to deny his attraction to the same sex. When he gave up the lie, he became free to be his true self. He transformed during the last two years of his life into a wonderful friend to me. AIDS complicated my anger because its roller coaster times of crisis meant that I thought I was saying good-bye to my dad five different times. However, my dad was determined to hold on to life and to come to terms with death. We had wonderful talks where he told me that he was sorry for how he had hurt my sister and Mom and me. We cried together when he told me that he loved me. “I’m not afraid to die,” he told me as he chose to find the best in each day. When I would get angry because we were refused service in a restaurant because he had AIDS, my dad would stay calm and just shrug off the ignorance and fear of strangers. I watched my parents find new closeness as friends while she took care of him during his final illness. “David, I’ve taken care of the girls while you were sick; your job is to take care of them after you’re gone.” And it’s true. My dad has never been more present for me than since his death six months ago. My dad’s greatest gift to me is the growth and maturity I’ve found in learning about life. I have come to understand that prejudice and rejection rise out of people’s fear of what they don’t know. I have learned that parents are just people who do the best they can. I know now that love is a bond that death cannot break. At age twenty I am gifted with some of my dad’s sense of peace that whatever comes, I can handle it. When I went to the University of Colorado, I was finally able to come out. I helped to form a group called COLAGE, for children of lesbian and gay parents. We support each other in opening up to be who we are.1 Now I can proudly talk about my life and what I learned from having a gay parent. I am finally released from the worst oppression of all, having to keep a secret.▼ Note 1COLAGE (Children of Gays and Lesbians Everywhere) is the children’s support network of the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition, International (GLPCI). Sara Davies is now a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder. By Sara Davies Out Karen A. McClintock It’s such a joy to have you out your spikey hair your laughter Your cut to the heart of it care. The you I sadly saw straining against the weight of the closet door Flying now falling in love fantastic! Karen A. McClintock is minister of faith development at First Christian Church in Medford, Oregon. Her poetry emerges from her spiritual practice of daily journal writing. A FATHER’S LEGACY 16 Open Hands The journey of life that is given to us by our Creator is an interesting one. We have been given the ability to lock into God’s grace. Some of us choose to do just that, and some choose to ignore the simplest of biblical truths: “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, NEB). This is a basic part of our Christian faith. When ignored, it does cause us great difficulty. Being dishonest with ourselves is being dishonest with God. Until truth abounds, we cannot enjoy the blessing of freedom. I have read this lesson from Christ many times. It wasn’t until I was forced into outing myself to my family that it hit home. I felt that the truth had to come out or I would not ever be free. Mine was a double outing. I knew that the circumstances about my gay lifestyle and also about the fact that I am HIV positive was definitely going to complicate things. It did. The immediate negative response from my maternal grandmother was that I was “dead and no longer a part of the family” and she wanted no communication with me. I wasn’t surprised. I was tired of trying to digest all of this. God’s promise kept ringing in my mind. I prayed and meditated on this. As time moved on, fear and doubt left and was replaced by joy. The joy that I began feeling was truly the freedom that is promised. No lies, no cover up, no need to sugarcoat anything so it could be swallowed with greater comfort by others. Just the bare fact that God is truly in control. The beautiful thing is that God really started working in my life. Doors began swinging open and the greatest gifts of life began coming my way. I was given peace inside that allowed me the chance to be honest with a multitude of persons in my life. This became a healing for me spiritually. In turn, it gave me a firm foundation emotionally and professionally to handle whatever came my way. I found that there are always those persons who cannot accept reality. This is something that they own. They have to work through it. I cannot spoon-feed them through the process. My own need became evident. I must take care of myself and concentrate on allowing God to put into my life those persons who are full of the Holy Spirit. I must draw from God’s Power, not the power of the world. Negative power drains us and we tend to lose sight of the fact that through God, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” In this freedom I discovered what it meant to love others at the same time I was learning to love myself. I met Wallace Richards, a true gift from God. We lived together for twenty-two months and God called him home. I was able to spend one of the most incredibly joyous times in my life with this gracious individual. God was always there. We knew that we were going to By Randy Houston God’s Promise Summer 1996 17 meet resistance. Daily we confronted each situation with confidence. God’s promise had been given to us. We knew that God was doing miraculous things, turning people around, making those “mountains move.” Why? Because God promised this and we knew that God does not break promises. God worked on both of our families. The pure, unconditional love that only God can provide started rushing forth like a mighty wind. Blessings came that were truly overflowing, that had some action to them. Not just idle promises, but real meaningful action occurred. You could see the hand of God touching each one of our family members, causing attitude changes, bringing forth definite life changes. Family members, from both sides, have reached out in ways never before imagined. Before, they would not have even mentioned that their child or brother was gay. Now they are speaking about HIV or AIDS. God’s power was so moving that now my being gay and being HIV positive can be openly discussed with no fear or retribution. Where there was fear and confusion, there is now love and understanding. I have been able to gain victory. God really is there for me through every trial. The truth does not just stop at making us free. It is contagious, spreading like wildfire and destroying the walls that separate people from one another. No more barriers. Just sweet peace, joy, love, the kind that only God can supply. God supplies these blessings through the Perfect Gift, Jesus Christ, making all who look for that truth free. No Outing / No Silencing! By Martha L. Olney Let us not make the error of equating the freedom to be out with the freedom to out others. Whether or not to come out is a choice each individual faces. Choosing to be out has definite benefits. Being out means less fear of being “found out.” It means less stress associated with covering one’s tracks and watching one’s pronouns. But we cannot deny the costs of coming out. Being closeted may allow someone to be a more effective agent for change. Being out may mean job loss, loss of vocation, or custody battles. The costs of being out are often substantial. Each of us faces our own decision. And each decision should be respected. If we choose to be closeted, don’t out us. If we choose to be out, don’t silence us. What we celebrate is that through our welcoming and affirming congregations, more and more people know they are valued and loved children of God just as they are. Being out or being in—about our sexuality, an abusive past, or even our religious background— is a choice we make with the full knowledge that God’s extravagant love surrounds us always, whatever our decision. Martha L. Olney is treasurer of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley, California (a Welcoming & Affirming Congregation). She teaches economics at the University of California, Berkeley. I rejoice in what God has done for me. I rejoice in what God can do for you. God’s power is just a whisper away. Just speak that whisper. Believe God’s promise. The doors that confine will swing open and you will be given the strength to deal with all the obstacles that come your way. If it happened for me and the situations that I have been through, then I believe it can happen for you. ▼ Randy Houston is a member of First Congregational United Church of Christ, an ONA church in Memphis, Tennessee. He is an RN employed as outside services coordinator at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He is a member of the local PFLAG and also serves on the executive board of the Memphis Area Regional AIDS Interfaith Network. He speaks to groups concerning issues of compassion towards AIDS and those affected by the disease. 18 Open Hands talism needed people more as consumers than as producers. There weren’t enough jobs around—creating consternation and stagnation in the dominant white community and an economic depression in the Black and Latino communities. The pie wasn’t expanding anymore; the battle between those who work and those who control became intense. Average families were having to work more and harder and still seemed to be declining in living standard. The American Dream was dying. The labor movement was losing ground. We reached a point in the U.S. where more people were employed by McDonalds than by the entire U.S. steel industry. We can’t name the shift very well yet, but as Yogi Berra said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” The future feels very different. One historian has even written that history is “over!” It feels as if we’ve moved into a “post” period: post-industrial, post-modern, post- Christendom, post-whatever. Among the characteristics of the “post” period are the following: 1. Intensifying class conflict. While investor optimism has yielded alltime highs in the stock market, virtually every institution has been contracting in size and taking back benefits and wages from its employees. The safety net for average individuals is being eaten away, even as an unprecedented re-concentration of wealth is occurring. By George D. McClain God’s Coming Out... In a The Golden Age The second period was the Golden Age—from 1945 to the early 1970s. During this time the U.S. reigned supreme as world political, economic, and cultural power, while most of the world experienced a period of unprecedented economic expansion. American wealth grew enormously, especially among the “haves”; and there was enough left over to begin to meet the growing economic demands of non-male, non-white constituencies and not threaten the expanding wealth of the owners and managers of the capitalist economic machine. As far as nuclear war was concerned, the Cold War turned out to be a Cold Peace. Despite counter-insurgency wars and the Vietnam War, former colonial peoples became nations at astounding rates; and in rapid succession the Black civil rights movement, the women’s movement, and, toward the end of the period, the gay rights movement mushroomed, bringing permanent change to our nation. Overall, optimism abounded. Oh, how the church longs for this era. The mainline churches expanded in membership, in property, and in professional staff. It’s a lot more fun to upsize than to downsize! The Crisis Decades However, in the early 1970s, things began to turn sour. The underlying reality was that the economic bill for the Golden Age came due. U.S. capi- Many college commencement addresses this past spring spoke of the sense of uncertainty of the future. It’s as if they had taken as their basic “scripture” text the gospel according to Yogi Berra, the baseball Hall of Famer, who once said: “The future just ain’t what it used to be.” To understand this new future—this New Reformation of which we are a part— it is very helpful to review the past, especially the history of the twentieth century. According to the eminent British historian Eric Hobsbawm, this century has been a short one—only seventyseven years long. It began in 1914 with the outbreak of World War I and concluded in 1991 with the breakup of the Soviet Union.1 It includes three distinct periods—and the beginnings of a new future. A Thirty Year War The first third of the twentieth century could be called a Thirty Year War (actually thirty-one years), from 1914 to 1945. It was an era of tribal warfare— European and North American— and of unprecedented total warfare that involved not just the military sector, but the entire society and economy of the nations involved. How else in World War II could German’s military forces requisition 5.7 million stamp pads or the U.S. military order 500 million pairs of socks? Summer 1996 19 2. Growing ecological disaster. The ozone layer continues to diminish. Chemicals in the air, water, and food accumulate. Allergies plague more and more people while public interest in environmental protection wanes. 3. A sense that no one’s in control. There’s a feeling that we’re careening as a civilization and no one has a hand on the wheel. The old fixes for the economy, the social order, the international order, or the family just don’t work. 4. Displaced anger. While those at the pinnacle of power and wealth get worship and adulation, the anxious and contracting middle class lashes out against those just beginning to get a measure of justice. The result: militias, hate groups, and anti-immigrant and anti-gay movements. The New Reformation To be a witness and hope in this threatening future, God has been creating a new church. This New Reformation, perhaps as thorough-going as that of the sixteenth century, is already a fact. It crosses traditional boundaries of denomination and confession. For instance, it is found among Roman Catholics demanding the ordination of women or among Protestants demanding full inclusion of lesbians and gay men. The Reconciling-More Light-Welcoming- Affirming-Supportive movements are an integral part of it. Peace and justice networks, too. We don’t need to leave our historic denominations to be a part of this new church. We only need to connect, to rejoice, and to claim the vision God has given us. To be a witness and hope in this threatening future, God has been creating a new church. This new church is unorganized—or, rather, it is organized in a thousand different ways at one time: a publishing house here, a house church there, an urban congregation, a struggling rural church, a justice committee, a covenant prayer group. This New Reformation church affirms that injustice to people and to the earth is abhorrent to God and that there are things we can do to point the way to God’s justice. This church knows that evil is real, that principalities and powers contend against God’s purposes, but this church also knows that we have resources in our faith to confront them with God’s power.2 This church proclaims that there’s room for everyone at the throne of grace and table of life, and that our place is alongside those who suffer, including those who suffer in different ways than we do. The challenge for each of us is how to be a part of this New Refomation— how to be continually re-formed ourselves, how to connect to this church wherever we are, how to bring our gifts to the One who is God of the future, even a future which “just ain’t what it used to be.” At our recent United Methodist General Conference there were myriad ways in which the Church of the New Reformation was experienced. One of the most grace-filled times was on the next to the last evening, when a group of progressive caucuses held a dance party. We’d been really battered the two previous days by a succession of defeats on gay issues and our wounds were raw. But in those hours of dancing we danced the new Reality of God—gay, straight, clergy, lay—of every color. The future just ain’t what it used to be— thank God! ▼ Notes 1See Eric Hobsbawm, The Age of Extremes: A History of the World, 1914-1991 (New York: Pantheon Books, 1994). 2See George McClain, “Healing Broken Institutions,” in Open Hands (Winter 1995). George D. McClain, D.Min., is an ordained clergyman who for twenty-three years has been executive director of the Methodist Federation for Social Action, an independent network of social justice advocates within the United Methodist Church. Plan Now for Winter or Spring Study Claiming the Promise Groundbreaking New Bible Study Curriculum on Homosexuality ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are children or heirs of God. ▼ Discusses “gracious hospitality” and “gift-ed sexuality.” ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. For more information call: Reconciling Congregation Program 312/736-5526 773/736-5526 (Oct. 12) or contact your welcoming program NATIIONAL COMIING OUT DAY OCTOBER 11 Coming Out is a sure way to gain support. Coming Out helps us achieve political power and voting power. Coming Out can turn ignorance into acceptance. Coming Out means changing the tide of history. For more information, contact National Coming Out Day P.O. Box 34640, Washington, DC 20043-4640 202/628-4160 or 800/866-NCOD Fax 202/347-5323 NCOD is a non-profit educational project of the Human Rights Campaign Fund Foundation. 20 Open Hands The sanctuary brimmed with a diverse and celebrative congregation. Two families were being brought together for the first time. Two men were making their vows of covenant. The mood was one of cautiousness and wonder, expressed by many who gathered in a Christian church to witness a service of Covenant for their family member, colleague, or friend. I had the privilege to preach about the profound nature of Christ’s love to this gathering, many of whom found no reason to trust a church that could not affirm their lives or those they love. Behind me hung a banner that one of the men had designed. It portrayed a web within a circle connecting multicolored, many-sided shapes representing the diversity of community and covenant. Many persons commented on their first experience of this “church with an open door” that accepted these gay men and accepted every one. I realized how I yearned for this to be true every Sunday in every church. Claiming Ally Status The church closet imposed on gay/ lesbian Christians is real. Many of our judicatories still hesitate to embrace the Jesus of the gospels who holds steadfastly that the greatest commandment is to love God, neighbor, and self without limits. However, as a United Methodist clergywoman serving in the local pastorate for twenty years, I represent a church that is empowered by the Holy Spirit to truly bring us together in covenant and promise as the people of God, gay/lesbian and straight, to witness to that love-without-limits that Jesus calls us to again and again. The scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ provide the guidepost for an inclusive, reconciling ministry. No church body can restrict God’s love or the power of the Spirit to heal and renew the world. This has been a spiritual awakening for me as I have served as pastor for these last eleven years at Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. As a heterosexual woman, married with three children, I am called to be an ally of my gay/lesbian/bisexual sisters and brothers. Being an ally permeates my personal ministry and that of the congregation I have served. One way I witness to the gospel and walk as an ally towards healing grace is by offering rituals, sacraments, and counseling. As a pastor, I refuse no ministries to anyone who is seeking or living out the saving grace and love of God in their life. Membership and Lay Ministries Our congregation does not limit the involvement of anyone in the full ministry and service of the church when they have been called by the leading of the Holy Spirit. Persons of all sexual orientations are welcome to be members of the church. Our congregation has offered legislation to our judicatory to encourage other churches to do the same. Gay/lesbian and straight, together we are leaders in the local congregation. There is no discrimination regarding committee membership, including committees such as worship, education, trustees, or pastor parish relations. In fact, we try to build inclusive decisionmaking committees and a staff that is representative of diverse perspectives. We also encourage persons of all sexual orientations to represent us on denominational committees and boards. This commitment to full inclusiveness comes Working As Allies: Opening Church Doors By Betty Jo Birkhahn-Rommelfanger Summer 1996 21 from all of the members of the congregation and is especially committed to by persons who are straight allies. Open Pulpit The pulpit at Wheadon is open to all in the church. We have been particularly moved by the faith and witness of those persons who have faced prejudice, hate, and fear because of their gay/ lesbian/bisexual identity. Hearing the stories of the oppressed helps all of us to be more conscious of our own prejudice and to shape our own convictions within a gospel of love and justice. Worship Celebration Liturgies that rehearse the stories of courage and faithfulness of gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians are shared regularly. Singing songs like Julian Rush’s “Ours the Journey” (which celebrates our cultural, color, gender, economic, and sexual diversity around a theme of promise and exodus) keeps us grounded in the God who leads our journey to freedom. This is a journey we must take, gay and straight together. The worship celebration in our congregation allows for a time of witnessing to our current experience, speaking of current events, personal prayer, and engaging in dialogue with one another regarding God’s word for our lives today. By providing an environment where persons can speak out of their own experience, we have witnessed many moments of shared pain and celebrations, allowing for mutual support, healing, and reconciliation. In such an open dialogue, we discover that we support one another in what is a day-to-day struggle toward freedom in our sexual orientations. In the dialogue or prayer time, gay/lesbian/bisexual persons may come out or speak honestly of their personal experiences, trusting their straight allies in the congregation. Straight persons are likewise able to express themselves with honesty. We need one another to face the closed doors— the barriers which silence us and do violence in church and society. Witnessing to Children It is especially important that our children have the experience of being a part of an integrated community. My own children have learned to accept the differences we have as a community. I tell my twin son and daughter, now ten years old, about the lesbian couple who helped to bring them home from the hospital and the great support I received. One lesbian woman in the church was my older son’s Guide, assisting in his membership/faith development, when he was in junior high. In his teenage years, he also attended a national Reconciling Congregation Convocation, and experienced the power of God’s love in a new way as a growing, searching young man. It has helped him to accept himself and also to accept friends regardless of their sexual orientation. Children hear prejudice focused every day at gay/lesbian/bisexual people, but their experience in a loving, integrated congregation, where people are friends across sexual orientation lines, shapes them more firmly in their Christian faith. My children, and all the children in our congregation, have been informed by a community able to be honest about the struggles and the joys of being the free people God created us to be. Advocating Change in Church and Society I and members of my congregation have been called upon many times to speak about gay/lesbian/bisexual inclusiveness in the church and society. This is an important way to be an ally as a straight person, clergy or lay. We may have access to decision making in the church and society that our brothers and sisters who are gay/lesbian/bisexual do not have except at great risk. I have worked on commissions to promote anti-discrimination laws in our local municipality. Evanston is one of the few cities in Illinois with such human rights protections in housing, jobs, and commerce. We can be allies in the political process. Likewise, we can support legislation in the church that protects and affirms gay/lesbian/bisexual persons. Clergy Witness Clergy have a special responsibility to speak within the church. We have access to power and decision making that can be used to be allies in our judicatories. The full recognition of ordination for gay/lesbian/bisexual persons will not be realized until straight allies stand up and speak out. When a lesbian woman from our congregation felt the call of God in her life towards ordination, an amazing network of persons from all sexual orientations came together to be a witness to her ministry. Because of pastors and lay persons in the local church and judicatory, members of judicatory boards of ordained ministry, and persons struggling with the truth of God’s love known in all persons, she was accepted as a lesbian woman for ordained ministry. The hate and prejudice of some persons in the conference forced legal decisions that sought to force her out of ministry, and her life ended in tragedy and suicide before she could be ordained. To our congregation, and all who knew and loved her, she had already been ordained by God for this ministry. Her death, like her life, brought a new commitment from all members of our congregation, and from many in our Conference and Board of Ordained Ministry, to live by the liberating gospel to open the doors of the church. So, still today, many provide leadership and witness diligently to full inclusion of gay and lesbian persons to ordained ministry in the church. We need each other. Together we can be a witness to life and God’s promise for all. As Holly Near’s song reminds us: “We are gay (lesbian/bisexual) and straight together, and we are singing, singing for our lives.” ▼ Betty Jo (B.J.) Birkhahn-Rommelfanger is a United Methodist clergywoman in the Northern Illinois Conference. Formerly pastor of Wheadon UMC in Evanston (a Reconciling Congregation for over a decade), she began a new pastorate at Ravenswood Fellowship UMC in Chicago in July. She is a pastor, counselor, and local and denominational church and community leader. 22 Open Hands The United Methodist office had been furnished with new plants, computer hardware, new telephone system, copier, chairs, table, and new pictures to decorate the walls. The District Superintendent was exceptionally excited and pleased at the selection of the two new large posters of front doors from two major cities from two different parts of the world. These doors were beautifully photographed with their color enhanced so that the blues, reds, yellows, and greens would seem brighter and more attractive. There were doors of various ages, designs, styles, and colors, made of materials such as wood, glass, metal, panel, and louvers. The doors were architecturally distinctive and compelling. As I looked at the framed pictures, I found them most intriguing and wondered who must live behind those doors and what life activity and history had occurred beyond those colorful entrances. As intriguing as I found them in their attractiveness, however, I also was perplexed and somewhat disturbed. All the doors were closed. Was this just my musing too much or was there a hidden message and symbol of our true way of looking at who we are. Were we to be known as “those with the closed doors”? The issue of inclusiveness, metaphorically characterized by an open door, is one with which we have continued to struggle. We work within systems that are often afraid to open their doors, minds, and hearts. Yet, we must remain within those closed doors as allies to give support to persons and ideas which will some day soon be accepted wholeheartedly. We who work within this church known as “those with the closed doors” must be willing to bring to light those unknowns that are the basis for the fear which keeps us from being inclusive. Such work is more than education. It is the living out the possibilities of being together as followers of Alllliies IInsiide Cllosed Doorrs By Paul E. Santillán Christ. It is being allies with those who are not yet fully included. Abundance theology is a powerful and exciting way to live out God’s plan. There is always room behind those closed doors. There is infinite love and compassion enough for all to receive. To live otherwise contradicts all that we believe in and proclaim. To make this bold statement apart from the consensus of the church is a great risk. It takes someone who has reflected deeply— and who feels confident that their conscience and God is leading them—to say that there is room for all called to be family. God calls for the doors to be opened, and those in leadership are given permission and encouragement to break the locks, take off the hinges, or change the rules, whichever works best. The big meetings of the church of “those with the closed doors” have passed. Yet God’s call, under abundant theology, is not limited to those gatherings. There is time now for the changes to occur in the places where we find ourselves. The risk is great but the cause is worth it. ▼ Paul E. Santillán is a new member of the program staff of the Iowa United Methodist Conference. He lives in Des Moines, Iowa. Alban Institute Seeks Case Studies Has your congregation designed and implemented a helpful, respectful process for helping members talk about ministry with gays and lesbians? (The outcome of the conversation is not as important as the process itself.) The Alban Institute, a nondenominational nonprofit organization that seeks to foster vigorous faithful ministry in mainline congregations, is gathering case studies for a resource on welcoming churches. Contact: Beth Gaede, Editor, 318 Parkway Court, Minneapolis, MN 55419. 612/823-0864. Summer 1996 23 “I would be celebrating my 39th wedding anniversary today except my husband, Ralph, who is gay, and I separated three and one half months ago.” Those were the words with which I began my coming out story to a regional PFLAG seminar on June 11, 1994. Sighs filled the room. We had been married twelve years when Ralph told me he was bisexual. That was in 1967. I accepted his orientation. People weren’t talking openly about “sexual orientation” then. Ralph was a church executive so there was no way that he could talk about it for fear of losing his job. We were silent with the issue. Our son Joel was eight and our daughter Jill was six. We enjoyed the children’s activities. We really cared for each other and liked being together. The children were in college when Ralph told them of his orientation. Two more people had a secret to keep. Ralph and I shared a lot of issues. I knew he liked being with men friends. I trusted him when he said he hadn’t had any affairs. After spending time as a high school teacher and working on my master’s degree in counseling, I worked at a family planning clinic. There I made friends with women who were strong advocates and astute, caring persons. During this time I started pursuing my personhood. I began meditating every morning. I read a lot of books on caring for myself, developed my inner strength, and sought what spirituality meant for me. Ralph resigned from his executive responsibilities without a new position secured. After working at several parttime jobs, he applied for clinical pastoral education residency. That year turned his life around. He felt safe with the resident group and came out to them. Our daughter, in her late twenties, came out to us as a lesbian woman and now has a loving partner, Anne. Several years later our son was married and has a loving partner, Darby. We were living in Illinois when Ralph was offered a position in Denver, Colorado. He accepted it. He began coming out more in work settings, community groups, and writing articles. I supported him. I found employment soon after moving to Denver, but after two years I needed to resign. I needed time to search my soul and find out what I needed to do about our relationship. I knew I needed to take care of myself. I continued my meditating and reading. I began seeing a spiritual director and I read the book by Amity Pierce Buxton, The Other Side of the Closet, which deals with the coming out crisis for straight spouses. As I worked through issues, I knew that I did need to separate from Ralph. Several of my close friends stood by me and said, “you will know when the time is right.” Then one day, in January 1994, I knew. I cried most of the day. When Ralph came home, he knew we needed to talk. We decided to separate and told our family. Our letters to friends ended by saying, “to honor the dignity of Barbara and her womanhood and to honor Ralph as a gay man, we are separating.” Now over two years have passed and I have felt clarity for the decision. Through a lot of pain, loss, and grief, I have come to a place of serenity. I appreciate aloneness. I feel a strong love for myself and know that I am okay. I have been able to experience compassion for the happy memories after times of intense anger and grief. A dear friend wrote, “Must admit that I really felt your letter. In my own way I can appreciate the strength and courage that this is taking. To walk our own walks with integrity certainly requires a deeper commitment than I think most of us ever dreamed. Thanks for sharing with me. Life is to be lived fully and reverently. Thanks for taking care of yourself.” I continue to be very grateful for the support of family and friends. As time moves on, I can see that I have put some more pieces into the puzzle of my life’s journey. I closed my presentation to that PFLAG seminar by saying, “This is the first time I have shared with a group. I have broken my silence and I am out of the closet.” ▼ Barbara McFadden is now semi-retired, having been a high school teacher, counselor, interior designer, and musician. She looks forward to new opportunities, lifestyle changes, hope, and joy for the days ahead. When she first gave this presentation, she was one of four women who shared their stories as straight spouses opening their closets. Opening Spousal Closets: Resources Opening the Straight Spouse’s Closet A very helpful 16-page pamphlet from PFLAG. Good resource for pastors to have on hand. Straight Spouse Support Network (SSSN) A national PFLAG network providing straight spouses with resources, contacts, and support. Parents, Families, Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) P.O. Box 96519, Washington, DC 20090-6519 Phone: 202/638-4200 Fax: 202/638-0243 Email: PFLAGNTL@AOL.COM Also see Resources, p. 28. By Barbara McFadden 24 Open Hands Aiirriing Outt Spoussess’’ Cllossettss By Donald W. Sinclair She was hurting and she was angry when she asked PFLAG Houston leaders “What do you have for the spouses?” We had nothing; we knew nothing. A Pastor in PFLAG Organizes The PFLAG Houston board of directors decided we simply must begin by involving the spouses themselves in developing the understandings and insights needed to be of help to those whose marriage partners had come out to them. I was assigned the task of facilitating a Straight Spouse Support Group immediately. We advertised in the newspapers and especially in gay men’s magazines since gay men usually want to help their wives. For the first year we met monthly at the regular PFLAG meeting. We invited both straight and gay persons who were, or had been, married and had faced, or were facing, the struggle of how to handle a marriage situation. A majority of the first ten or twelve members were gay men already divorced who wished to get help or to be of help in any way possible. The group soon enlarged to fifteen or eighteen participants and included a few more married couples struggling with how to go about airing out all their closets. Gay/Straight Meeting Tensions We discovered that straight spouses are not usually interested in the “gay is OK” programs of PFLAG general meetings. However, some straight spouses in our group emphasized that they had gained valuable knowledge about homosexuality from gay members in the general meetings and in the joint gay/straight spouse meetings. Ultimately, we decided to hold the joint gay/straight spouse meetings at the regular monthly PFLAG meetings and offered weekly straight-spouse-only meetings on the other weeks. I was surprised that none of the straight spouses could provide space in homes or apartments, because of children or smaller quarters after moving out, etc. We met in my spacious office. During the second year, attendance declined and participants decided to meet separately only once a month. Over a two-year period we served twenty-five different persons. What Did We Do in Meetings? Because I did not know what was needed, I asked the first participants to write down ten things a straight spouse needs. We laughed at the practical things offered like, “We need... tranquilizers, facial tissues, reference books to read, and a straight spouse.” After that comical release, the items became weightier (see next page). Family Closets By Mitzi Henderson Seeking to fit in, gay and lesbian persons often marry, only to find later that this relationship cannot be sustained. The resulting crisis involves particular pain and confusion for straight spouses. Feeling rejected, used, or betrayed, they question why they didn’t discern this situation for themselves. Care and support of straight spouses requires special understanding as they face homosexuality in a time of life-changing crisis. The support of knowledgeable family and friends, and compassion for both spouses, can do much to help the family find healing. Where PFLAG or other spousal support groups are available, they offer sharing and resources not always available within the local congregation. Mitzi Henderson is the national president of PFLAG. Summer 1996 25 We spent future meeting times working on these issues. The separate meetings included checking with how each other was doing, crying and laughing together, posing questions and getting advice, and making some decisions about how each person might proceed next. The joint meetings generated some heat when some of the straight wives felt another straight wife was being manipulated by her husband. Participants at different points in their journey do not accept the rationalizations or supposed possibilities projected by others. They see their own early mistakes in other couples and sometimes offer warning or even rejection of the couple’s present plans and efforts. The language can easily turn to accusations and challenges which can cause offense. Gay men who had already been divorced often attempted to help other gay men and their wives with understandings and suggestions they were not always ready to hear or accept. Participants in the group agreed that the primary goal each partner should try to achieve was the greatest degree of happiness possible for all persons involved in the situation. Leader and Group Needs In the separate spouses’ meetings, it is imperative the facilitator be a seasoned member of PFLAG who periodically reminds straight spouses that their gay partners have been through years of emotional trauma with their secret and that they did not set out to hurt them or cause this pain. Leaders also need to remember that even though the group will be a lifesaver for most participants, most spouses mend and grow and find their way to beginning their lives again. PFLAG and the leaders must always be ready to keep graduating the participants and forming new groups. Our group has two spouses who plan to remain to help others in the process of airing out their closets and getting on with their lives. Continued advertising and trying to get newspaper reporters to run a story (something we never could achieve) could be critical in reaching spouses. We were sure there were many more spouses out there. The presence of a pastor who has PFLAG’s understanding of homosexuality is very helpful to straight spouses, mixed groups, or extended family members. The pain and anger is great and difficult to work through. Time must not be wasted on false blame or sympathy. Condemnation by the religious community or other misinformed persons would prevent growth toward wholeness. It also helps for a pastor to say, “There are usually no culprits or bad persons involved. No one set out to hurt or betray someone else.” Pastors who have a grasp of the gay person’s struggle and the social and religious pressure to “just get married and you will forget this!” are desperately needed by straight spouses and extended family members for a brief period. They can help everyone handle, in a constructive and civil way, the real facts of sexual orientation and the real issue of finding the greatest degree of happiness for all persons concerned. Stemming the Underlying Problem It became enormously clear to me that the problem is that our youth do not have full information on human sexuality provided early in life. Nothing need be “promoted” in this information. Young persons just need to know that there are different sexual orientations and that sometimes girls and boys are not naturally attracted to the other sex. They need to be armed with this knowledge and offered places and persons they can talk with about any of their concerns. Otherwise pastors, teachers, counselors, and parents will keep urging marriage and “getting over this phase” in life. Homosexuals will continue to try to “fit in”— and marriages which never should have taken place will keep happening.▼ Donald W. Sinclair recently retired after forty-five years in the Texas Annual Conference, UMC. He served the last ten years as pastor of Bering Memorial UMC in Houston (the first Reconciling Congregation in Texas) where a vast HIV/AIDS program was developed. He also ser ved as vice-president and then president of PFLAG Houston during 1994 and 1995. Straight Spouses Need... time to adjust persons to talk with openly to speak aloud the facts and emotional feelings to cry to understand homosexuality to develop self-confidence again to love myself again to hear the gay/lesbian side to know I am not alone to know it is OK to feel the way I feel to accept the fact that my spouse’s sexual orientation is not a reflection on me to deal with my feelings of “betrayal” to be given hope that I will not always feel this way to know how to tell the children and our parents to talk about “Should we divorce?” and “Should I protect my homosexual spouse in the extended family or at work?” —Generated by PFLAG Houston Spouses’ Support Group 26 Open Hands TIIPS By Anita C. Hill and Susan L. Thornton Anita C. Hill is pastoral minister of St. Paul- Reformation Lutheran (a Reconciled in Christ church) in St. Paul, Minnesota. Susan L. Thornton is an interim pastor of Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. For Ordained Leaders Coming Out in an Interview 1. Ask for God’s guidance in the process so your coming out may be a witness of your faith commitments. 2. Know your denomination’s polity, history, and politics about ordination and placement of openly lesbigay candidates. 3. Discuss the options with advocates as well as other lesbigay candidates and clergy. Consider cultivating a group of people who can provide ongoing support, critical perspective, and clarification of issues. 4. Do some homework before meeting with the pastor-parish or search committee on the congregation’s: a) stance regarding lesbigay members and ordained leaders, b) manner (formal and informal) of addressing controversial or difficult issues, c) way of dealing with differences. 5. Begin the conversation with one or two people, if possible. Their questions will help you know what needs to be addressed in the larger group. 6. Treat everyone as a potential ally. Enter the process with a loving heart. 7. Treat every question as an opportunity for education and enlightenment. Make sure there is time for dialogue and response to questions. 8. Keep it simple and positive rather than focusing on what you are against. 9. Articulate clearly why it is important, for you and the community, that you be out of the closet. 10. Strive to keep a sense of humor in the midst of it all. For Congregations Someone’s Come Out—Now What? 1. Thank them for their courage and willingness to help your community grow regarding the open involvement of lesbigay people. 2. Ask the person what s/he feels s/he wants for support. Each individual is unique. 3. Help them network among supportive individuals. 4. Don’t assume everything is going great because things are quiet in the congregation. Check it out regularly with the individuals who have come out. 5. Help establish a milieu in which everyone can feel free to ask questions and keep the dialogue open. 6. Provide educational opportunities for groups as well as individual conversation times for people in the congregation who may have questions they are afraid to ask or don’t know how to articulate. 7. Be an ally. Don’t wait for lesbigay people to be the ones to raise issues of justice within your community and congregation. 8. Acknowledge that someone’s coming out may cause discomfort for lesbigay people who are not out. Be prepared to respond to differences. 9. Pray for the individual and the congregation that each person in the community may reflect Christ’s loving openness toward one another. Summer 1996 27 Amazing grace! How sweet your sound; Your song, it sets us free! You open hearts that once were closed and bring us to believe. And when our hearts fill up with fear, we pray to be relieved. Let grace come knocking at our door and bring us to believe. Through many dangers, toils, and snares, we have already come. Tis grace that brought us safe thus far and grace will lead us home. When we’ve been here ten thousand years, if still we cannot see; Dear grace, please open up our eyes and bring us to believe. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a soul like me! I once was told to hide, but now I’m heard and seen and free. New Words ©1996 Judy Fjell (BMI) P.O. Box 2001, Yountville, CA 94599 Phone: 707/944-2420 FAX 707/944-0605 E-mail WoMaMu@aol.com Original words by John Newton, 1779 Now in public domain Judy Fjell, singer/songwriter, tours throughout the United States, performing concerts and leading Music Empowerment workshops. In her workshops she helps participants have a voice in the creation of culture by making their own music with songs and acoustic instruments. To book her for a concert or workshop, or to receive information on her summer music camps in Montana, contact address at left. Denver United Methodist Conference April ’96, rev. June ‘96 Sustaining the Spirit 28 Open Hands Selected Resources Coming Out Jennings, Kevin, ed. One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell Their Stories. Boston: Alyson, 1994. Educators from all regions of the U.S. share their struggles and victories as they put their careers at risk in their fight for justice. Johansson, Warren and William A. Percy. Outing: Shattering the Conspiracy of Silence. New York: Harrington Park, 1994. A historical look at outing, from being “ferreted out” to freely claiming one’s identity. Traces outing from pagan Greek and Roman tolerance, to ancient Judeo-Christian intolerance, to modern American movements. O’Neil, Craig and Kathleen Ritter. Coming Out Within: Stages of Spiritual Awakening for Lesbians and Gay Men, the Journey From Loss to Transformation. New York: Harper Collins, 1992. Explores the process of spiritual healing and wholeness necessary for gay and lesbian people. Helpful for pastors and helping professionals as well as gay and lesbian people. Rasi, Richard A. and Lourdes Rodriguez-Nogues, eds. Out in the Workplace: The Pleasures and Perils of Coming Out on the Job. Los Angeles: Alyson, 1995. Explores questions and dangers of coming out or not on the job. Signorile, Michaelangelo. Outing Yourself. New York: Random, 1995. How to come out to your family, your friends, and your coworkers (subtitle). For Children and Youth Be Yourself: Questions & Answers for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth. A booklet available from PFLAG. Call 1-800-4-FAMILY. Gailmor, Jon. Childish Eyes. Softwood Recordings, PO Box 65, Lake Elmore, VT 05657. 802/888-3625. One song, “Welcome Back,” is about a child and his gay father. Romesburg, Don. Young, Gay, & Proud. 4th ed. Boston: AlyCat (Alyson), 1995. Should be on every pastor, counselor, and teacher’s bookshelf for lending or give-away! Willhoite, Michael. Uncle What-Is-It Is Coming to Visit. Boston: Alyson Wonderland, 1993. Older friends alarm two children about what “gay” means, but their gay uncle shatters myths. Parents of Lesbigay Children Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby. San Francisco: Harper, 1995. The story of a mother’s turn-around after the suicide of her gay son whom she had told to pray that his homosexuality would be healed by God. Borhek, Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1993. Sections for gay/lesbian folks and parents. Cantwell, Mary Ann. Homosexuality: The Secret a Child Dare Not Tell. San Rafael: Rafael, 1996. “Without words, without warning, without knowing it,” writes Mary Ann, “we teach many of our children that there’s something wrong with them. We teach them so well that they hide themselves to protect us from discovering that they are something unacceptable to us.” Switzer, David K. Coming Out as Parents: You and Your Homosexual Child. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1996. A complete rewrite of Parents of the Homosexual. Deals with common first responses of parents who learn a child is gay or lesbian. Good resource for pastors/counselors also. L/G/B/T and Christian Bess, Howard H. Pastor, I Am Gay. Palmer, Alaska: Palmer, 1995. One pastor’s journey with gays and lesbians. Invites pastors and churches members to accept the challenge of reconciliation with them. Comstock, Gary David. Unrepentant, Self-Affirming, Practicing: Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay People within Organized Religion. New York: Continuum, 1996. Thoroughly documented description of lesbian/ bisexual/gay/transgendered people within organized religion and how they view religion. A much-needed “flip-side” of studies on l/g/b/t folks. Morrison, Melanie. The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Stories and sermons reflect on the struggles and joys of coming out and seeking justice. Spahr, Jane Adams, et. al., eds. Called OUT: The Voices and Gifts of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Presbyterians. Gaithersburg: Chi Rho, 1995. The section headings tell the focus: OUT-Stretched Hand of God, OUT of Order, OUT and Organizing, OUT from the South, OUT and Moved On. Tigert, Leanne. Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Gay/Lesbian/Bisexuals in the Church. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1996. Storytelling and interviews offer a psychological and theological understanding of the journeys of g/l/b Christians. Straight Spouses Buxton, Amity Pierce. The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming- Out Crisis for Straight Spouses. rev. ed. Wiley, 1994. Based on five years of research and hundreds of interviews with straight spouses of lesbian and gay partners. Explores major concerns that spouses confront when spouses come out to them. Good background for pastoral counselors. Gochros, Jean Schaar. When Husbands Come Out of the Closet. New York: Harrington Park, 1989. Helpful and sensitive discussion for women with gay or bisexual husbands or partners. Summer 1996 29 MORE LIGHT Movement News Southminster Presbyterian Church Beaverton, Oregon Southminster, located in a suburban community in the Greater Portland area, views itself as a challenging and supportive community where faith is taken seriously and issues are discussed openly and honestly. The Rev. Jim Petersen, who has served the congregation for twenty-eight years, recalls the anxiety fifteen years ago when he invited a Presbyterian pastor who had recently “come out” to share in a dialogue sermon. Ten years later the same pastor was invited back and the congregation began a process leading to a More Light Declaration, adopted in the midst of a capital funds drive! St. Andrew Presbyterian Church Austin, Texas St. Andrew, located in a conservative area, now has a membership of 425, having lost almost 150 members in the process of becoming a More Light Church. Pastor James Rigby reports that “While we lost members and money, we gained integrity and a sense of being truly committed to Christ.” The Session, which had voted to stand on principle even if they lost the building, has been supported by the congregation and has helped move the church to the place where sexual orientation is no longer an issue in the election of leadership. Epiphany United Church of Christ St. Louis, Missouri The 80 members of this urban congregation are committed to serving the physical and spiritual needs of their community and to reflecting (in the church’s makeup) the diversity of that community. The church has recently begun a “Block Care” program—an outreach of “presence and invitation” where Epiphany individuals or teams are assigned to blocks in the neighborhood to get to know residents and their concerns and build relationships. Church members also participate in a monthly ecumenical gay/lesbian worship service. First Congregational UCC Waukegan, Illinois This 80-member congregation is committed to the spiritual journey and community outreach. With the assistance of a consultant from the Alban Institute, it has been revitalizing its membership and mission. Four task teams are working on evangelism, identity development, resources, and team ministry. The congregation has added books on gay/lesbian issues to its library and keeps informed about current issues (e.g., local and national action on same-sex marriages and other ONArelated topics) through a bulletin board in the narthex. More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Dayton Avenue Presbyterian Church St. Paul, Minnesota Located less than a mile from the state capitol in a transitional urban area, the Dayton Avenue congregation of slightly less than 200 members is multi-racial and multi-cultural. It has a long history of ministry in its neighborhood. The issue of church and homosexuality was raised by the congregation’s social action committee, which led to a two-year process involving the entire congregation. The Rev. H. David Stewart believes that study prior to Session action enabled people who do not agree with one another to remain active in the church and also encouraged those who were not at all sure the church would risk taking a position. First Presbyterian Church Albany, New York A downtown church only a few blocks from the State Capitol, First Presbyterian is a progressive congregation of more than 700 members. It has a long history of being intentionally inclusive in its membership and programs. Its interim pastor, the Rev. Robert Conover, reports that declaring itself a More Light Church has helped the congregation define itself to its own members and the surrounding community. The decision has also helped shape its sense of mission for the future. Presbyterian New England Congregational Church Saratoga Springs, New York Located in a semi-resort community which is the home of Skidmore College, this church of 325 members has been served for the last twenty-three years by the Rev. John Ekman who reports that “the church is united in a common desire to avoid boring religion.” After the congregation earlier refused to support a decision to become a Sanctuary Church, the Session proceeded with its More Light declaration only after gaining broad-based support within the congregation. Few openly gay and lesbian members attend, so the Session’s action reflects its sense of mission and commitment to justice in the church. OPEN AND AFFIRMING 30 Open Hands First Congregational UCC Santa Rosa, California This vital, inclusive, growing congregation, located in the north Bay Area near San Francisco, has 195 members. Arising out of significant changes in its membership (through deaths, the comings and goings of members, and new people coming in), the church has been involved in a self-study which will ultimately lead to a mission statement. Through conversations and the recording of oral histories, members are learning about the faith story of individuals and the church as a community. Part of that story will be their numerous experiences of being a resource to other churches interested in the ONA process. Newton Highlands Congregational Church Newton Highlands, Massachusetts This suburban congregation of about 300 members is a “neighborhood church with a world vision.” The fall of 1995 brought changes and challenges for this faith community— the decision to become ONA and the beginning of a search process for a new senior pastor. The “interim period” has been an important time for congregational reflection on “who we are and where we’re going.” An associate pastor who is openly lesbian has given the church cause for celebration with the birth of a daughter last spring! Members of the church continue informal outreach to the gay/lesbian community and hope to begin a gay/lesbian “gathering group” this fall. Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church Houston, Texas Grace Church is a 75-year-old inner-city parish which has always been known as a warm and welcoming house of worship. In the early 1980s a strong core congregation decided to take a faith-filled approach to counter its slow decline by intentionally reaching out to the neighborhood in which it was placed—to share the unconditional love of Christ without hesitation or reservation. In the spring of 1995, Grace decided to put a name to this perspective on outreach as it affected the significant gay and lesbian population of the local Montrose area. The church council recommended adoption of the Reconciled in Christ statement (the first ELCA congregation in Houston to do so), which the membership passed by unanimous vote. Lutheran Campus Ministry at KSU Manhattan, Kansas The Reconciled in Christ process began at this LCM when the student group requested of the campus pastor an opportunity to study the issue of homosexuality and their Christian response. Thus began a long journey of prayer, Bible study, and discussion using “Can We Talk About This: ELCA Guide for Christians Preparing to Discuss Homosexuality.” Other elements included in the decision-making process were conversations with a lesbian Christian from another church, the synodical bishop, local board members, and pastors. The Affirmation of Welcome was adopted March 17, 1996, and the community “came out” as RIC on Easter evening, remembering Jesus’ appearance to the frightened ones who were locked behind closed doors. LCM at KSU is presently the only official RIC community of the ELCA in Kansas. Asbury United Methodist Church Phoenix, Arizona Located in the center of the city, this congregation declined for many years as its neighborhood changed. Then, a year and a half ago, a request by a local MCC congregation for meeting space opened a new avenue for ministry. Outreach as an “accepting” community has drawn in many new members—both gay/lesbian and heterosexual. Membership is up to about 140 and finances are improving. The congregation hosts a weekly feeding program for persons with AIDS. The music ministry is expanding with the addition of a handbell choir. Visitors comment on the “warmth and love” apparent at Asbury. Community United Methodist Church Slingerlands, New York Located in a suburb of Albany, Community UMC celebrates its 125th anniversary this year. In an area where many churches are large, Community’s 350 members are attracted by its “sense of community.” The congregation is building a Habitat for Humanity house with other UM churches and is active in outreach in the inner-city of Albany. The congregation reflects the diversity of its community in age, marital status, and sexual orientation. Epworth United Methodist Church Chicago, Illinois This 106-year-old church was once quite affluent. The transition of the neighborhood in the 1960s led to a period of decline. Eleven years ago, distressed by the death of a homeless person in the alley behind the church, members opened a shelter. Not long after, a tutoring program began for neighborhood children and youth. This strong commitment to mission in a multi-racial, multi-economic community is key to the congregation’s identity. Epworth’s 130 members are proud of their diversity. It is evenly divided among three groups of people: Filipino-American, African/African-American, and RECONCILED IN CHRIST RECONCILING Summer 1996 31 Anglo. “We have seminary professors and welfare mothers in this community of faith.” Epworth United Methodist Church Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Two years ago this congregation faced the choice of disbanding or reorganizing as a new form of ministry. A new pastor, Kathy McCallie, arrived in the summer of 1995 and began “striving to follow in the reconciling ministry of Jesus as a justice-seeking community.” Worship attendance jumped from 30 to 180. Located in a poor, transitional community, Epworth offers a free medical clinic, Spanish classes, AIDS care teams, and an after-school children’s program. Several neighborhood associations and community groups are housed in the building. The church program provides for a diverse congregation, with activities ranging from a quilting class for older members to a gay Bible study to dance lessons. Fellowship United Methodist Church Vallejo, California Fellowship UMC began as a Filipino-American Sunday School group which met in a private home. Since people of color were not readily accepted by mainstream churches at that time, this group dreamed of building a church where they could meet without fear of rejection. By 1957 a church building was constructed and it has become a home to people of all races. The congregation now has over 200 members and is growing. Having been the target of prejudice, the congregation— with almost no dissension—decided to open its doors even wider to include persons with different lifestyles and sexual orientations. On May 21, 1995, Fellowship UMC celebrated this decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. “We are proud to join with other United Methodist churches in opening the doors to all who would enter.” First United Methodist Church Schenectady, New York First UMC was founded at the center of Schenectady in 1789. Over the past century, the congregation has developed an identity as a strongly evangelistic, justice-oriented church—“we are working to minister with the city.” The congregation has been involved in the formation of most local justice-seeking and service organizations. An ecumenical food pantry is housed in the building as well as an agency which rehabs houses for lowincome families. The congregation’s 430 members are active in peacemaking and political causes. Sunday worship is broadcast on local cable TV. Plattsburgh United Methodist Church Plattsburgh, New York The Methodist presence in this small city on the shores of Lake Champlain dates back to the early nineteenth century. The congregation’s current building was constructed in the 1950s. Plattsburgh UMC’s 525 members have long been active in ecumenical ministries with persons in need. For many years the community provided ministry to refugees en route to Canada for asylum. The congregation houses a day care center, Headstart program, a Boy Scout group, and several 12-step groups. A new pipe organ was recently installed to support a strong worship and music program. The recent closing of a military base, one of the area’s largest employers, has brought about a ministry to families and persons in transition. Trinity United Methodist Church Atlanta, Georgia Founded in 1854, Trinity UMC lies in the heart of downtown Atlanta, across the street from city hall. This diverse congregation of 250 has carried out a ministry with homeless persons since the 1930s. Trinity Community Ministries now includes: Trinity Table, a soup kitchen; Trinity House, transitional housing; and the Living Room, a housing ministry with persons with AIDS. Located in the heart of the Olympic district, Trinity opened its doors this summer to thousands of international passersby for rest and water and to view displays including the Mennonite Peace Factory, PFLAG, Reconciling Congregation Program, Church Women United, and the World Council of Churches. New ONA Program Associate The ONA Advisory Committee (ONA Program, UCCL/GC) is pleased to announce the appointment of Kevin Measimer as ONA Program Associate for Higher Education. A graduate of Lancaster Theological Seminary, Kevin makes his home in Connecticut. In consultation with other leadership of the ONA Program, he will help develop and support ONA witness by UCC related colleges/universities, seminaries, etc. Persons may contact Kevin at: 255 Twin Lakes Road, North Branford, CT 06471. (KevinMeas@aol.com) Theme will explore civil and religious concerns about same-sex marriage. Articles needed: church and state as the “other partners” in a marriage; the marriage debate in gay/lesbian culture; overview of legal challenges/defenses of heterosexual marriage; historical overview of same-sex unions; theological articles on sexuality, unions, covenants, power/gift of ritual, changing morality issues. Hymns/songs/poetry/liturgy appropriate for same-sex unions are welcome. Write or call with idea: October 15 Manuscript deadline: January 15 Call for Articles for Spring 1997 Same-Sex Marriage If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. 32 Open Hands Reconciling United Methodists Open the Doors The Open the Doors campaign of the Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP) profoundly impacted the 1996 General Conference of The United Methodist Church which met in Denver, April 16-26. Delegates were greeted by Open the Doors posters in business windows, volunteers opening doors daily, welcome mats at hotel room doors, and “knock knock” joke cards. Over 10,000 names of Reconciling United Methodists were publicly displayed. Delegates heard painful stories of discrimination at a press conference. Youth, students, and seminarians chanted, marched, prayed, and sang for “open doors” at a rally. Caught in the Middle, a musical written especially for General Conference, moved 1200 persons to tears and laughter in nine performances. Over 400 persons reaffirmed their baptismal vows and celebrated holy communion at St. Paul’s UMC (Denver’s only RC). General Conference maintained unwelcoming positions, refusing even to acknowledge that “we are not of one mind.” After one painful vote, volunteers gathered to pray, sing, and console, and then returned to open doors in silence as delegates gathered for the evening session. The RCP will hold Threshold Meetings in thirty-plus annual conferences this fall as part of its visioning process. Presbyterians Protest, Support Civil Rights, Celebrate A thousand people marched in protest through the hall of the 208th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Albuquerque, New Mexico in July following a vote to send to the presbyteries for ratification an amendment to the Book of Order to prevent non-celibate gays and lesbians from being ordained or installed as ministers, elders, or deacons. If adopted by a majority of presbyteries, the amendment would make relief by judicial review for gays and lesbians seeking ordination much more difficult. The amendment adds a new standard for those seeking ordination: “the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage of a man and a woman, or in chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the Confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or installed as deacons, elders, or ministers of Word and Sacrament.” In other action, the General Assembly affirmed the church’s historic definition of marriage as a civil contract between a man and a woman, but supported “committed same-sex partners seeking equal civil liberties in a contractual relationship with all the civil rights of married couples.” The 73 More Light churches (those publicly willing to ordain gay and lesbian members to church office) were given the Witherspoon Society’s Congregation Award at the society’s annual luncheon during General Assembly. In accepting the award for the congregations, Virginia West Davidson, co-moderator of the More Light Churches Network, said, “The heart of the movement is hospitality—loving each other as we love ourselves. As love grows, mistrust and fear melt away.” A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. 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Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 (New area code as of Oct. 12: 773) SCN Dances at the Table The Supportive Congregations Network (SCN) conference, “Dancing at the Table: Re-Imagining the Church” invited participants to imagine and celebrate an inclusive church through biblical stories of rejection and redemption, original musical compositions, dance, and stories from congregations and individuals. Over 300 people, from infants to elders, gathered together in North Manchester, Indiana on June 28-30. “Dancing at the Table” became a home of the Spirit where a participant reflected, “This is the first time I have been able to fully participate in worship without feeling like an impostor...” Currently, 16 Mennonite and Church of the Brethren congregations publicly welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual members. An additional 52 congregations are listed as “Exploring Congregations” through SCN. Several hundred individuals recently identified themselves as “Friends of SCN.” Episcopal Church Court Rules An Episcopal church court ruled on May 15 “that there is no core doctrine prohibiting the ordination of a non-celibate homosexual person living in a faithful and committed sexual relationship with a person of the same sex,” thus absolving Bishop Walter C. Righter of a heresy charge for ordaining an openly gay priest. “This hopeful decision should have implications for other Protestant communions as well,” says the editor of MFSA’s Social Questions Bulletin. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 1 - Airing Out Closets https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7122fbd0bd8268942a17a508ccd9b03b.pdf a3e713bb0982867be4eb6827439dc300 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 2 Fall 1996 Transgender Realities 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 2 Fall 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Transgender Realities CHANGING REALITIES Transgenderism: Challenging the Binary 4 NANCY NANGERONI The newly emerging transgender community works on TG rights. Out of the Pit, Into the Woodwork—Not! 8 JIM KOCHER-HILLMER An editor interviews Rica, a male-to-female transsexual who is a lifelong Lutheran. In Transition: Vignettes 9 GLORIA R. TERRILL Three stories tell of a life in transition. Upside Down, Inside Out Feelings 10 HOPE SMITH A gay woman in the military, headed for seminary, reflects on the journey of her female military teammate Jessy who became Caleb. Standing Tall: A Crossdresser’s Story 12 TIFFANY S. After eighteen years of marriage and a very successful evangelical ministry, a crossdresser loses wife and church, but not his faith in God. Wéwha of Zuni 13 ROBERT LENTZ AND BRIDGE BUILDING IMAGES Before the arrival of Anglo Christian missionaries, the Zuni Pueblo in western New Mexico honored three genders. SHIFTING THEORIES Myths, Stereotypes, and Gender Roles 14 JEANNE KNEPPER AND ANDREA ABERNETHY A dialogue explores intersections of gender roles and male privilege. Medical/Therapeutic Processes—and their Critics 15 CAROLINE PRESNELL Transgenderedness and transsexuality are described from a medical/therapeutic viewpoint—and critiqued. Fall 1996 3 For your Consideration: Sexual Integrity 17 MARY E. HUNT When categories of gender and orientation become inadequate, consider sexual integrity as a theo-ethical alternative. WELCOMING MINISTRIES A Place at the Table 18 STEPHANIE RODRIGUEZ President of Dallas Affirmation shares her “epiphany” about transsexual persons and her own prejudice. Four Snapshots—Many Lessons 19 KAREN P. OLIVETO A reconciling congregation and its pastor learn valuable lessons from Molly. Acts 8 in Today’s Church 22 DEIRDRE N. MCCLOSKEY AND MARTHA L. OLNEY A welcoming and affirming Baptist Church extends its welcome when a transsexual person asks: “May I come to your church?” Ministry Is about Sacred Story 24 TONY RYAN An ordained minister and seminary student shares his story and dilemma. Double Blessing—and a Call 26 VANESSA S. A heterosexual, happily married, biological male shares his story as a male-to-female crossdresser. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “I Am!” 28 KAREN P. OLIVETO A litany of re-naming for transgender persons. ASIDES Keeping Up with Language .... 7 Women Passing as Men ........ 11 Deuteronomy 22:5 ................ 21 Discussion Questions on Transgender Realities ........ 23 TG/TS Organizations and Publications ....................... 25 Bornstein Reflects ................. 27 Next Issue: Sowing Seeds of Inclusion SELECTED RESOURCES 29 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dan Hooper, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC 4 Open Hands gender shame is imposed by a culture striving for something unnatural and repressive. The strict binary of sex and gender is a myth that is enforced by popular notions, creating pervasive but usually repressed discontent with gender roles. The pervasiveness of the discontent shows in the popularity of gender transgression in the media, where Howard Stern’s book parading his crossdressing is a best-seller, and where movies like To Wong Foo and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert were box-office hits. TV networks parade forth their most gender transgressive content during ratings week, when their advertising income has the most to gain. In Boston, for example, a normally staid “Chronicle” ran a segment on transgenderism with flashy promotion for ratings week in February, and then again during November’s ratings week. The dawning recognition that “gender dysphoria” (the medical term applied to some transgender persons) might be the healthy response of a sensitive individual to a repressive society has had a profound effect on the TG community. Individuals, instead of blaming themselves for perversion, can instead regard the failure of a society that stigmatizes their naturalness. This shift has been crucial in bolstering the self-esteem of the transgender The transgender (TG) community has come of age, stepping forward as the agent of change that upsets the binary gender system. At the root of this, as in all change, is the emergence of new ideas which have been reshaping the way a lot of people, transgender and otherwise, regard themselves and others. Perhaps the most influential new ideas were those of Judith Butler, a leading feminist scholar and gender theorist.1 The message from Butler that knocked transgenders (TGs) to our feet was that gender is a performance. Butler tells us that masculinity and femininity are not essential elements in all of us but rather labels and interpretations that we assign to parts of ourselves and our world. Division along lines of sex and gender is a political act, enforced by rules of conduct that are neither negotiated nor defensible. While embracing these ideals, the TG community has continued to educate itself in the gender ways of other cultures, especially native American cultures that honored transgenderism with respected social roles. As transgenders (those whose gender display is at least sometimes counter to what the culture dictates) and their increasingly receptive friends and families nurtured a pan-cultural perspective, we learned that trans- By Nancy Nangeroni CHANGING REALITIES Fall 1996 5 community. This healthy perspective is increasingly supported outside the TG community, most recently by Phyllis Burke’s book GenderShock.2 When we encountered transphobia and dis-inclusion within the gay and lesbian communities, some TG folk recognized that a struggle only for transgender rights would surely leave out some other minority group(s). We have responded by committing to a policy of respect for diversity and inclusion. We have opened our movement to include all who wish to be a part, redefining ourselves as gender transgressors, an overarching category that potentially includes gays, lesbians, bisexuals, feminists, and literally anyone. Rather than acting as “wanna-be’s” to some pre-existing group, we have defined an arena for social change in which we play a pivotal part as key disrupter of established norms, but in which all persons have a role and are welcome. Evidence of the growing popularity of these and related ideas shows in recent events. In February 1995, an International Congress on Gender, Cross- Dressing, and Sex Issues was held in Los Angeles. It was the first time the medical and academic communities extended an open invitation to the TG community to join a professional dialogue on TG issues. Not long before, the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) taught an American Psychiatric Association convention that the dominant pathology in gender dysphoria lies not in the individual, but in the culture. The international conference was an attempt by professionals to stop pathologizing transgenders and start listening to us instead. In May 1995, key members of the TG community made a commitment to draw the line on violence against transgenders. Since then, they have conducted demonstrations at sites across the country where transgenders have been victims of violence or persecution. They first did so by conducting a vigil at the trial of one of the murderers of Brandon Teena, a young person born apparently female but living as a man, loving women. Brandon’s nasty murder shocked the small town of Falls City, Nebraska and sent ripples reverberating across the country. The appearance of forty transgender activists on the front steps of the county courthouse received much less publicity than the murder, but has had greater impact. The intrepid transgender activists who traveled to Falls City had no idea what to expect. The best possible result was that they would emerge unscathed from this town that had already claimed the lives of three people for daring to transgress gender norms. As it turned out, declaring to the world their support for the murdered transsexual was an act of courage that left them feeling empowered as never before. Taking on a potentially dangerous mission, they earned some serious self-respect. Subsequent demonstrations included a rally in Colorado Springs at the sentencing of Sean O’Neill, a young femaleto- male transsexual, helping him to receive fair treatment. A demonstration at mayor Marion Barry’s office in Washington, DC helped to reopen the investigation into the death of Tyra Hunter, a young transgender who died after a rescue worker refused to treat her injuries on discovering that she possessed a penis. In Boston, over 250 people participated in a vigil and march to the State House (in 20 degree cold) in support of Chanelle Pickett. A transsexual, she was strangled to death by a man who first claimed to have done it because he “didn’t know she was a he,” then changed his story when he was exposed as a regular “admirer” of transsexuals. As they undertook serious political effort, most transsexual activists lost interest in the Michigan Women’s Music Festival. Previously, the festival’s exclusion of transsexuals had drawn the focus of TS activism. Following the Brandon Teena vigil, however, the focus shifted to more serious hurts, marking a maturing of the TG activist community. It takes greater courage to openly challenge those who would do bodily harm, instead of those who deny admission to a party. An incident of exclusion, rather than violence, moved TG activism in 1995 to a national scale as never before. During the International Conference on Transgender Law & Employment Policy in Texas, the Human Rights Campaign Fund (HRCF) announced that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would bar discrimination based on sexual orientation, would be submitted to Congress without including transgender discrimination. Several TG activists at the Texas convention had lobbied successfully with ENDA sponsor Senator Jeffords for TG inclusion. When they heard that their amendment had been refused, not by some right-wing politico, but by HRCF (the leading gay and lesbian lobbying group), TG activists became enraged. Over the next few months, they organized a sustained nationwide campaign of leafleting at all HRCF fundraising events. Eventually HRCF invited the TG activists to talk, and all agreed to work together for eventual TG inclusion in ENDA. For the TG community, it was the first exercise of a newfound political muscle. Testing that muscle, TG folk for the first time turned out en masse to declare their participation in the process of government. On October 2 and 3, 1995, about 100 TG activists gathered in Washington, DC, where they lobbied the offices of virtually every senator and representative. For most of those visited, it was their first time knowingly meeting more ➟ Invitation We invite you to open your selves to the gender realities you will encounter in the stories and articles in this issue of Open Hands. Our hope is that these realities will put you in touch with (or further deepen your awareness of) widely emerging discussions about gender in our culture today. We invite you also to keep in mind that the transgendered authors and subjects of this Open Hands discussion are individual persons, members of our families, our congregations, and our communities. Their sexuality is only part of their total selves. For TG/TS folks, we hope that this issue of Open Hands will in some way be an aid for sharing yourself with your religious community, however open or limited that interaction might be. As God’s community, we are not whole without you. —Editor 6 Open Hands a transgender person in that environment. For the TG folk who participated, it was an unshakably empowering experience that sent ripples of excitement through the community. The year 1995 also saw the first publishing of IN YOUR FACE, the journal of political activism against gender oppression, and also the widespread acceptance of The Transexual Menace, a direct action organization. Their commitment to confronting with love, recognizing that unruly behavior makes more enemies than friends, and understanding that education is best conducted with a smile, have proven effective in publicizing and alleviating injustices. The Menace—playing a lead role in virtually every demonstration of significance—gives TG activists a rallying point not of aggression, but of courage and pride. Transgender inclusion in other gender- transgressive groups grew markedly, mostly without the acrimony and conflict of HRCF/TG relations. Leaders in gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities began declaring support for inclusion of transgenders in their constituency. At the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force national conference in Detroit, a rousing plenary on inclusion and diversity was delivered by Dr. Elias Farajaje-Jones, an imposing and proud dredlocked figure. An outspoken bisexual, he delivered his speech in a Transexual Menace Tshirt. Another key trend in the TG community has been the emergence of the men, the female-to-male (FTM) community. The FTM presence brings a fresh, balancing perspective to the TG community, and encourages recognition and inclusion of more global gender issues. Their presence also brings greater credibility. The participation of both MTFs and FTMs makes it clear that gender transgression is no longer just a “guy thing.” The most amazing thing about the maturing of the TG community is how different things were just a year or two ago. Originally, the Menace were a few radicals that most TG folk wished would go away. There was little overt political activism. When a transsexual was murdered, everyone sunk their heads and slunk away, hoping someone else would do something and glad they weren’t the victim. TG groups were more concerned with petty inter-group rivalry than with joining society as equal members. Passing was more important than challenging the gender binary. Inclusion meant welcoming transsexuals at a transvestite event. Feminism was merely a way for crossdressers to feel more feminine. We’ve come a long way in a short time. It’s an exciting start. As more and more people step forward and embrace more complex understandings of gender as at least partly socially constructed— as performance—the momen- SPEAKING OUT: Nancy Nangeroni demonstrates at Sean O’Neill’s sentencing in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Sean pled guilty to sexual molestation, after police pressured parents to bring charges against him, rather than face possible conviction and thirty-two years in jail for charges hysterically piled up against him. Photos: Mariette Pathy Allen tum grows to change forever the way in which we regard gender. Thank goodness. It’s long overdue. ▼ Notes 1Judith Butler, Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990. Dr. Butler is professor of humanities at Johns Hopkins University. 2Phyllis Burke, GenderShock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female. New York: Doubleday Anchor, 1996. Source Adapted from an article, “Transgender ’95: A New Day Dawns” in Sojourner: The Women’s Forum, February 1996, pp. 9-10. Used with permission of author. Nancy Nangeroni lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She hosts GenderTalk on WMBR-FM, enjoys working with other activists, and serves a variety of organizations. Nancy is a board member of IFGE and board president of Project 10 East. Fall 1996 7 The transgender (TG) community includes several groups of people who challenge society’s traditional binary notions of sexual identity and gender identity. These include transsexuals, crossdressers (formerly transvestites), drag queens and kings, and female impersonators. All transgress current culturally prescribed gender roles in this country. Some literature says feminists could identify as transgender also because they too transcend prescribed gender roles. For transsexuals, sexual/ gender identity is a daily life event. Crossdressers and drag queens and kings only occasionally cross the gender lines for various reasons, being generally content with their biological sex at birth. Sexual identity refers to biological identifiers; it is that sense of being male in a male body or female in a female body. Sex refers to having genital and reproductive organs identifying a person as biologically male or female or intersexual (formerly hermaphrodite). Intersexual refers to having at least some of both male and female reproductive organs at birth. Gender identity refers to psychosocial identifiers of being masculine or feminine, fulfilling cultural/societal roles of what it means to be a woman or a man. Gender dysphoria is an intense discontent with one’s physical sex/body, a feeling of being in the wrong body. Persons desire to possess the body of the opposite sex and to be regarded as a member of the opposite gender. Transsexualism refers to any attempt to medically and/or surgically realign the physical body to match that of the gender/sexual self identity. Transsexuals (TS) represent only a small part of the transgender community. Transsexualism clinically is related to the psychological, physical, and medical aspects of gender dysphoria. Primary transsexuals have obvious physical explanations (an extra chromosome or fetal/puberty developments inconsistent with the biological internal sex organs at birth). Secondary transsexuals, more common, usually come to a realization of their transgenderedness only after years of mental, social, and emotional confusion. Their condition is often misdiagnosed as mental problems such as borderline personalities or delusions resulting from depression. Sex reassignment refers to possible steps that may be undertaken to move from one sex to the other. These include nonsurgical steps such as hormone treatments, facial hair removal, etc. Sex reassignment surgery involves permanent surgical refashioning of the genitalia to resemble those of the other sex. Women may also have mastectomies. Transsexuals may be male-to-female (referred to as MTF or M2F) or female-tomale (FTM or F2M). Before surgery, transsexuals are often referred to as pre-op; after surgery, as post-op. During the long period of moving from one gender to another, they are said to be transitioning or living in transition. Rather than providing an alphabetical “glossary” we have opted for a “logical progression” of terms which will hopefully help newcomers to this topic make connections between and among the various terms used by writers in this issue.—Editor. Sexual orientation refers, not to male/female sexual identity, but rather to one’s affectional desire for a sexual partner of one own sex or the other sex. There is as much diversity in sexual orientation for transsexuals as for non-transsexuals. The sexual orientation of a transsexual person depends on one’s gender identity, whether one is pre-op or post-op in legal sexual status, and one’s actual sexual/affectional preference in a partner. Only after surgery is complete, and after a successful transition, can the actual sexual orientation of a TS be clearly understood and accepted. Crossdressers represent the largest component of the transgender community. They are usually heterosexual men (often “upstanding family men”) who find relief from society’s rigid role constraints for men by crossdressing. They usually crossdress in secret, either alone or in one of many well-established support groups. For many, a component of fantasy, taboo, and sexual arousal initially exists, but it becomes less important as they discover a more feminine side of themselves that is pleasing to experience occasionally. For some, crossdressing is a short term substitute for intimacy which may be lacking in their lives at any particular moment. Drag queens or female impersonators are the most visible to society, yet represent the smallest percentage of the transgender community. Most are gay men. For some gay men, their drag queen persona is a way to express their feminine side. However, drag queens and female impersonators typically crossdress to entertain or for the money from doing so. Some unfortunately like to shock people, or to make fun of women, or even attract other men for sexual purposes. Some crossdress for illicit or deceitful intentions. Drag kings are lesbians who enjoy crossdressing as men, although most do not try to “pass” as men. Male privilege system is a phrase referring to the basic sexism bias in our society. It shows up in transgendered issues in the fact that most women, heterosexual or lesbian, feel free to crossdress without adverse reaction from society. This gender reality seems to be a function of the binary sex/gender system which privileges and prizes what is male and masculine over what is female and feminine. Sources Thanks to Ashley, Gloria, Vanessa, Rica, Andrea, Nancy, Caroline, Brenda, PFLAG, and others whose definitions influenced this statement. Note that not everyone defines these terms the same way, so you’ll want to check out how people are using terms in any readings or conversations.—Editor. 8 Open Hands The former editor of Concord interviews a lifelong Lutheran who is transsexual. Jim: At what emotional/physical point does one consider one’s self to be a transgendered person? Rica: Wow, you’ve started off with a tough one! To me transgendered means somehow differently gendered, feeling or expressing your gender in ways that are at odds with the usual physical or symbolic expressions of female and male.... It’s a very broad term with fuzzy boundaries, really, and it would be presumptuous of me to define just where those borders are. I’m transgendered, obviously— the doctor said, “it’s a boy” and then I came out as a woman (and changed physically in some significant ways). But Leslie Feinberg is a transgendered woman, too, with a complex personal gender history. You can get some idea of what she’s been through if you read Stone Butch Blues. I know a number of women (most of whom are not transsexual) who identify as transgendered because they feel “somewhere between” female and male, and a few men with similar feelings. Then there are lots of people who like to crossdress or play with gender roles for pleasure on occasion. Some intersexual people (born with genitals considered to be intermediate between the two usual types) also include themselves in the transgender community.... Jim: When did you “come out as a woman”? Rica: ...In my early teens it became a very strong emotional issue. But coming out to others really started in my early thirties, to just a couple of close friends. Then I came out to my brother at thirty-five, to a peer counselor, a therapist, a TS support group, my parents, and my pastor at thirty-six, to the world at large at thirty-eight or thirtynine. Jim: When we spoke at Assembly ‘94 you used the phrase “out of the pit, into the woodwork” as a description of the transgendered experience.... Rica: The expressions aren’t mine; I saw them in an article by Xanthra Phillippa in the first issue of the [maga]zine gendertrash, which was published about 1992.... Many transsexual/transgendered people experience two kinds of gender closets at different times in our lives. To put it in personal terms, before transition (when I passed unwillingly as a man) I concealed my most basic sense of who I was as a gendered person; I was “in the pit.” When I began to live openly as a woman, I “came out of the pit.” Many of us, after making our transition, find it necessary in a transphobic society to avoid drawing attention to our background. As a result, we go “into the woodwork,” a more suitable closet, in which at least we express our gender identity more honestly than before. But [we] are afraid to share with others some of the most profoundly formative and difficult experiences of our lives, and afraid of having our lives disrupted, our safety threatened, if someone should discover that we were born and developed differently than most women or men. Jim: How does this quote relate to your life experience? Rica: I don’t really feel I [am] in the woodwork. I’m pretty open about my transsexuality in all my communities. I have been so since 1993 when I participated in an educational action at the Michigan Women’s Music Festival and followed up with interviews...in both of the Philadelphia area gay papers. With increased political networking and other support systems, it’s becoming possible for more of us to be out of the woodwork now. It’s often said that our political situation is similar to that of the lesbian and gay communities twenty to twenty-five years ago, not long after Stonewall. We still don’t have any legal protection in most places.... Jim: How do you feel about your relationship with Lutherans Concerned/North America (LC/NA) in specific and the church in general? Rica: Well, I’ve found wonderful support in the congregation where I’m a member, and in the Delaware Valley chapter of LC (which my pastor suggested I join).... At Assembly 1992 I only came out to two or three people. It’s a tribute to the sense of safety I felt at Assembly that I did even that, at the time. As for the church in general, well, I’m a lesbian. I feel marginalized by the homophobic politics the ELCA is playing with the sexuality study and their sanctions and threats against congregations that choose openly lesbian and gay pastors. Sometimes I feel just about out of patience with the ELCA as an organization. My heart is with Ruth and Phyllis, and Jeff, and Ross, and Janie Spahr in the Presbyterian church, and the congregations that share in and support their ministries. ▼ Source Excerpted from an article in Concord, 1995-1, the newsletter of Lutherans Concerned/North America. Used with permission. Jim Kocher-Hillmer was editor of Concord from 1992 to 1995. Rica Ashby Fredrickson is a lifelong Lutheran and member of LC/NA. Fall 1996 9 In Transition: Vignettes The goal of most transsexuals is to appear as an ordinary person—in the target gender. Getting to that point often involves relearning how to walk, gesture, sit, dress, wear one’s hair, even talk. There are also new rules to learn for social situations. It is gratifying to find oneself finally “there”—at the place where we come across to the rest of the population as we are to ourselves. Finally hearing that “ma’am” or “sir” can feel like a medal of honor. By Gloria R. Terrill December 1994 I was driving home from Florida where I had been visiting my son whom I had not seen in fifteen years. Knowing that I would be on the road, I decided not to shave on Saturday morning. When I stopped for coffee Sunday morning, I walked into a diner wearing jeans, my Indiana sweatshirt, a state trooper type jacket, and black lace-up shoes. I sat on a stool at the counter. I was alone except for two women and one teenage girl. The larger of the two women came over to me. Saying “Excuse me, ma’am,” she reached down by the base of my stool and picked up something. Seeing my apprehensive look, she quickly added that she wasn’t going to hurt me. For about forty-five minutes while I was there, she called me “ma’am” each time she addressed me. About four hours later, at a rest stop in Tennessee, a woman was returning to the adjacent car. I made a comment about the temperature. We talked for about three minutes, when her husband returned. The woman said to her husband, “She was just telling me that she had just left Florida. We were talking about the weather there.” It almost seems that the scruffier I look, the more feminine I appear to be! I must be doing a better job at incorporating the non-verbal clues than I give myself credit for. I find myself being pleasantly surprised when I am pegged as a female while wearing no makeup and no “female” clothing. What’s a mother to do! June 1995 An openly gay friend invited me to apply for work at the department store where he worked. I had been living full time as a woman for about six months then. As it turns out, the personnel director went out on sick leave. A few months later, the store got a new director since it didn’t look like the other was returning any time soon. My friend asked the new director if she had called me. He told her about my transgender status. She replied, “We’re not allowed to discriminate.” She called me in. By the time this happened, another several months had passed and I was even more comfortable in my new life. My mannerisms and voice were all acceptable. At home in heels or flats, I passed easily— even when I felt I looked a fright. The interview went well. The director offered me my choice of two full time openings. I chose electronics. She called in the store manager since that department had no manager. As I waited outside her office, he walked past me into her office and closed the door behind him. In a few minutes he came back out, walked past me again. A minute later, she came out holding my resume and application. She simply said “We have no positions we can offer you at this time.” Needless to say, my friend and his supervisor, who were rooting for me, were seriously disappointed. I called the Civil Liberties Union in my state. They said “Sorry. If you were gay or black, we could help, but the transgendered have no legal protection in this state.” Even though I was told that no lawyer would touch such a case, I thought about it. But I realized that even though they might decide to hire me, they would soon fire me for some ridiculous reason. I didn’t want to quit my current job for that, so I kept looking. June 1996 I have been working as a woman for almost a year and a half in a restaurant kitchen. By this time, I pass well as a woman even when I look totally frazzled and don’t expect to. The kitchen is a jeans and Tshirt environment—we all dress the same. I wear earrings, make up, and use bobby pins to hold my hat on so it doesn’t flatten out my bangs by the end of the day. Even though I know I pass, a little doubt remains, so I occasionally ask a friend how they perceive me. For instance, I thought everyone in the restaurant knew about my transition. So after a new hire had worked with me for three weeks, I asked, “You know what’s going on for me, don’t you?” “Concerning what?” she queried. “You know that I wasn’t born with female parts, don’t you?” “No.” she answered. I realized that until then she had perceived me as just another woman—exactly what I wanted. Oops! ▼ Gloria R. Terrill is a certified scuba diver, avid gardener, and amateur photographer. She likes paranormal and science fiction shows, light jazz, and a good book. 10 Open Hands A Friend’s Call We stayed in contact over the years while our military careers took us to different continents, Jessy to Panama and me to Germany. Often Jessy’s mother was the home base we used to keep up with changing addresses. It was in March of 1993 that I got a call from Jessy asking my help as a caregiver. At the time I was collecting unemployment and considering pursuit of a Master of Divinity degree in the fall. I had gotten off active duty nine months prior— a casualty of the military drawdown after the fall of the Berlin Wall and the demise of the Warsaw Pact. Jessy had opted out sooner— a result not of losing a love of the profession but a combination of events that deemed separation from the service necessary. I had been aware that in those post-military years my friend had begun the work of actualizing in physical terms an internal reality. My friend Jessy was now known to me as Caleb.* When Caleb called that March, he asked if I could fill the role of caretaker after the sex reassignment surgery that would continue the process of achieving internal and external gender confirmation. I was immediately hit with a Jessy* and I met in the fall of 1982 at our first military duty station. We were both enthusiastic lieutenants, as green as the uniforms we wore. We were devoted to our soldiers and our missions— and we were also both gay women in a very male dominated world. At least that’s what I thought then. Later I would learn that our closets were actually of different parameters. Rugby was the activity that brought us together. I saw a small article in the post newspaper soliciting for players on the women’s team. As a longtime athlete who had never played rugby, I decided to try the sport. During the course of the season I got to know Jessy only as well as anyone could, based on the distance that always seemed to be a factor in any attempts to really communicate. Yet, in a conversation held late one night, I became aware that Jessy was wrestling with fundamental questions of self-identity that far surpassed the normal passages of being twenty-somethings. Driven by my own questions about sexuality, I had read enough to know that there were people who believed that their gender did not match the body they inhabited. I was able to understand, at least superficially, that this was the reality for Jessy. sense of awe at the request. I was very aware of Caleb’s vulnerability in venturing such a request since I had suffered through a stage of debility years before due to a broken leg. I was also humbled by the trust it indicated in our friendship—a friendship that had existed without the luxury of seeing each other for seven years. Caleb met me at the airport. Reviewing my journal entry for that day, I am reminded of the overwhelming perceptions I had at the meeting. I recognized immediately that Caleb was much more relaxed, happy, and at ease than Jessy had ever been. My androgynous female friend—tall, slim, and with strong square shoulders that had formerly made her (supposedly) a readily recognizable member of the lesbian population—was replaced by a man. Caleb stood taller, was robust in appearance, and had a beard that made him a dead ringer for Matthew Broderick. The next two weeks afforded us the opportunity to reconnect as friends— to relive stories of our days in military service. As comrades-in-arms, that language will be with us all our lives. The days after the surgery were filled with pain for Caleb and with anxiety on my By Hope Smith Fall 1996 11 Women Passing as Men Doña Catalina de Erauzo, born in 1592 in Spain, was a South American Robin Hood for fifteen years. Her true sex was revealed when she needed major surgery for a wound. Her fame, however, was so great that when she returned to Europe, she was treated as a hero and continued to pass as a man all the rest of her life. James Miranda Barry, born in 1795, was the first woman doctor in England. Having earned her medical degree from Edinburgh College while still in her teens, she lived as a man all her life. Her “true sex” was only discovered during an autopsy. Ellen Craft, a light-skinned black woman, crossdressed as a young white master in 1848 and escaped slavery in the South to Philadelphia with her husband acting as her slave. Kaúxuma Núpika, a nineteenth century Native American woman of the Kutenai tribe, changed her name from “Mary White Pete” to “Gone to the Spirits” and wore men’s leggings, shirt, and breech cloth. Known as a female berdache, her change came after a dream where “spirits changed her sex and gave her spiritual power.” She married twice, both times to women. She is remembered for leading military campaigns and for helping to negotiate a Flathead- Blackfoot peace treaty. Billy Tipton, who died in 1989, probably began passing as a man (according to her wife) in order to play the piano and saxophone during the Big Band era in the U.S. when women were only allowed to sing. Her adopted sons knew her as a man until her sex was discovered at her death. Source Lesbian Lists by Dell Richards. See especially pages 175-200 for numerous lists of crossdressers and those who might be known today as “pre-op transsexuals.” part. We experienced the process of healing together— each from our own perspective. For me, the experience was akin to birth. I felt as if I were taking part in the emergence of a new person. Of course, internally Caleb was the same friend I had known all along. A Friend’s Touch What amazing insight I was given into the way in which we relate to someone of a gender other than our own. I still have a kind of upside-down, inside-out feeling when I consider the fact that I thought my army buddy, my teammate, was a gay woman and now I know my friend was always a straight man. This caused me to face the assumptions we make about people and the ensuing behavior it generates in us and in them. That first military assignment we shared together was only the first of many times when I balanced pride and love of the career of service with the absolute need at times to be myself with other gay and lesbian people. I was quite successful in resolving these two facts of my life. I can not fathom the pain it must have caused Caleb to be a member of our group—identified by all of us as someone so distant from his internal reality. Even when our group was out of the closet with each other, Caleb was still in a hidden place. There are many more details of the journey I have shared with Caleb. However, the essence for me is the courage Caleb has demonstrated in the face of so many obstacles over the course of that journey. And through it all has been the joy of our friendship. The touch of Caleb’s life on mine has been such a blessing from a gracious Creator— a God who grants each of us the gift of a divine spark which transcends the dimension of the earthen vessel we inhabit. ▼ Note *All names in this article, including the author’s, have been changed. Hope Smith attends Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Georgia. Caleb currently works in the health care field with other veterans. 12 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 I did not wake up one day and decide to wear a dress. I guess I was about four when I put on my first dress. At such a small age I remember very little. I do remember putting on my mother’s lipstick and her finding out. Still, a lot of little boys go through this stage. When I was about eight to eleven, I tried on my sister’s dresses and put on my first bra. I would sneak in and put on the clothing of my sister’s friends when they stayed over night. As an older teen, I went to proms. I had a deep desire to be one of the girls in the long beautiful prom dresses, so pretty and so very special. (A prom dress was one of the first items I bought, once my wife allowed such things.) I dated girls and enjoyed being around them much more than being one of the guys playing baseball or basketball or any other sport, but I tried. Contrary to popular beliefs about crossdressers, I was never attracted to guys. I never liked being a guy and never felt attracted to one, then or now. I never had sex before I was married at age twenty. I truly felt in my heart that these desires to be a girl and wear their clothing were due to the sexual suppression I felt in my teen years from the strictness of the church and my beliefs. I even told my wife-to-be that I felt these crossgender desires would cease when we were married (they did not). My wife and I were married in 1974. We took communion at our wedding because we wanted God to be in the center of our lives. Within three years we had begun a puppet ministry that superseded any other in our area or surrounding states. I give the credit to God for our ability to amaze children with stories, songs, puppet shows, and gospel illustrations. We also began a ministry to assist those in need in the county where we lived (one of the poorest in our state). We started with one family with three children. The year before our divorce we, along with local churches and others with whom we worked, supplied toys and Christmas dinner for one hundred families and two hundred fifty children. During this time we also taught Children’s Church in several local churches, opened a clothing building, helped others with gas and electric bills, and did all we could do to show others that God loved them and cared about them as persons. During our eighth year of marriage, my wife found my hidden box of women’s clothing. She felt I was very sick and said so. We went to counseling for “my problem.” After a while she was told that she must decide if she loved me enough to continue the marriage. She did! Slowly, over the next ten years, she did her best to accept me for who I am, even buying me girl clothes for my birthday and Christmas, hoping that it would burn itself out. During those years we talked often of “my problem.” About fifteen years into our marriage, the rejection and the condemnation that the things I did were not right began to affect our sex life. I was not giving her the attention she deserved because I felt any closeness would be perceived as “let’s make love” which I didn’t want to do. I guess I felt so unworthy of love. As I look back, this was the beginning of the end. We went to church regularly and did our very best to be servants of God. We fasted and prayed with many tears for this secret “problem” to pass. Yet God continued to bless us and our ministry right up until the day of our divorce. On January 25, 1993, my wife of eighteen years said she could no longer deal with the girl inside my hidden life. I had told her years before never to ask me to choose between her and Tiffany, for I knew I could not say no to the girl within. She did not understand that it was a matter of being content in my heart and loving myself, which I had never done in the past. I will always love the wife of my youth. After my wife and I separated, I went to a Christian counselor. He and I prayed to God for an answer as to why these things had entered my life. With no answers to “my problem” and with the guilt and condemnation put on me by others, I began to feel more and more unworthy of life and more separated from society. I had lost my church and my wife, who was also my best friend. Now I was told that I was a very selfish person for letting this control my life, that it was like I was having an affair with another woman. My counselor believed that some type of trauma had occurred in my younger days, even in my mother’s womb. I asked, “So God created me, Mom and Dad screwed it up, and now it’s up to me to fix it?” He said, with hesitation, “Yes, I believe so.” I told him I did not accept that. Shortly after Standing Tall: A Crossdresser’s Story By Tiffany S. Fall 1996 13 that, I left his care. Now I go to a secular counselor. She has helped me begin to love myself as God has created me. I still feel the touch of God on my life. I still feel I have a mission to show the love of God to anyone who feels he or she is an outcast. Being a transgender person, I felt for awhile that I was an outcast of the outcast. Today my life is filled with a church that shows the true love of God. Even though they may not understand my motives, they accept me as the woman I feel is trapped inside my seeking heart. That is rare in the church world today. You can come to church as an adulterer and even with the smell of liquor on your breath, but come dressed as female when you are male and stones are cast. Of course, no one minds if a woman wears pants, the only basic clothing a man has. I have met several transgendered people who were asked to rid themselves of their women’s clothing and repent of their sins or else leave the church. I wonder how Christ feels about this type of love? “We will love you only if you follow our rules.” I guess that is just about how my ex-wife put it. Has God given me up to a reprobate mind as I have been taught? Is my life just one big sin? Because I am different, my life has been very lonely and the rejection at times almost unbearable. Except for the love and encouragement of my mother and father, I would have surely ended it. They have stood beside me. I know their hearts are heavy at the way others have dealt with my life, for we all lived in a small county community and rumors abounded. My life goes beyond being a crossdresser. It seems that the only ones who understand me are other crossdressers I have encountered recently. We now have a support group in our town and we work with the local Mental Health Association. How do I truly put into words what my life has been and what it is like to feel so different on the inside when others only see the outside? This is not a sexual issue. It is a gender issue. Sometimes a person’s sex does not match his gender. We are not perverts. We do not desire children sexually. We just desire Wéwha of Zuni (1849-1896) Zuni Pueblo, in western New Mexico, honored three genders before the coming of Anglo Protestant missionaries. Men who chose not to become hunters and warriors became lhamana, members of an alternative gender that bridged the other two. While they were initiated into male religious societies, they became crafts specialists and wore female garb. They were nonwarriors who moved freely in the male and female worlds. Wéwha was a Zuni lhamana who helped bridge his culture and that of Anglo-Americans. As a Zuni cultural ambassador to Washington, D.C., he mixed with “high society” and no one guessed he was not a woman. He assisted Anglo scholars who came to record the ways of his people, and at the same time, resisted Anglo incursions when they seemed improper—once even ending up in jail. He was a deeply spiritual person. In this icon he is shown garbed as the manwoman kachina, Kolhamana, a role he filled during his life. His hands and face are painted ceremonially and he is ready to place the sacred mask on his face. He was well loved throughout his life and his death brought grief to Zuni. The rainbow spirit above his head emphasizes that he is now one of the holy ones who return to their people with blessings. His photograph hangs in the tribal museum today. ▼ Icon © by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Text adapted from back of icon notecard published by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. Both are used with permission. rejection—as well as my return to stand tall and tell others that I am a transgender person. I am “gender-gifted.” I am that which God has created for his purpose. God has always been there for me and said he would never leave me. ▼ Tiffany S. is a lab technician in West Virginia. to live our lives in a peaceful and accepting way and to be loved. We have existed all through history. The American Indians treated those like us with respect, for it was believed that these individuals had the spirits of two people. Maybe we do! It is quite an experience to view the world as a man and then later the same day go to the same places and view the world as a woman. Today I feel I am a very unique person to have been chosen to tell the story of my heart’s losses, my sadness, and my 14 Open Hands Jeanne: What are some stereotypes and myths about gender? Andrea: Men are hard; women are soft. A man leads; a woman follows. Men are heads of households; women are homemakers. There are only men and women. They need each other to be complete. One does not have the right to change something as basic as gender. These stereotypes and myths limit us all in the fulfillment and enjoyment of our lives. Part of the construction of the transsexual experience comes from the rigidity of cultural gender roles. Jeanne: Can you say more about that? Andrea: Transsexuals are really trying to follow the heterosexual model almost to the letter. If we could step outside the dichotomous heterosexual model, life would be more healthy. But most transsexuals grow up in environments that have rigid social constructions of gender. They therefore experience a great sense of deviance for violating those social standards. Jeanne: I’ve heard you talk about deviance before. Tell me more. Andrea: I struggled to conform to what others saw: boy/male/man. But that is not how I saw myself. So I experienced a sense of social deviance that stemmed from a concern about violating the “sanctity of natural creation.” In a situation of discomfort with the supposed naturally created gender order, one’s sense of personal integrity is severely threatened. Integrity is the only thing I have to support my esteem and selfworth as an individual, to keep my life from being empty. When someone attacks my integrity, it rips me apart, to the essence of my soul. Jeanne: What does your experience tell us about our cultural gender roles? Andrea: In our culture, women develop more intimate friendships, while male friendships are more casual. So femaleto- male transsexuals end up expecting their friendships with other men to be much more intimate and intense than men’s friendships usually are. Male-tofemale transsexuals (MTF), on the other hand, are really struck by power differentials. There are things women cannot say directly as women. They are expected to negotiate what men can just claim. The very question, “Why am I being excluded?”—when voiced by a MTF transsexual—reflects the privilege of growing up as a heterosexual male. MTF transsexuals often become very angry that, as women, they must negotiate to get their needs met. Jeanne: What would happen if gender roles weren’t so clearly defined? Andrea: Fewer people would pursue surgical solutions and shove themselves into a dichotomous model. Jeanne: Is it ultimately a mistake to undergo surgical correction? Andrea: No, but if gender roles were more fluid, fewer people would need to pursue surgical solutions. It’s important that society develop more fluid gender role expectations and be open and accepting of those who found that a surgical solution was the most congruent way to resolve their gender dysphoria. As we seek integrity and coherence, we each make the best decision we can. ▼ Jeanne G. Knepper, Ph.D., is an ordained elder and director of Shalom Ministries in the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference, UMC. Andrea Abernethy, a Shalom Ministries participant, is active at University Park UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Portland. SHIFTING THEORIES Myths, Stereotypes, and Gender Role Realities By Jeanne Knepper and Andrea Abernethy Fall 1996 15 change feasible and available. Christine Jorgensen’s announcement of her 1952 operation brought clinicians a flood of requests from transsexuals. For some time, medical and popular thought has been that one’s sex (physical), sexual identity (psychological), and gender (psychological/social) identities are the same, or that they “normally” coincide: male-bodied/man/masculine, female-bodied/woman/feminine. That is, we have considered that sexual identity and gender are located within, or are at least connected with, the body. Under this theory, transsexualism can be defined as having a male sexual identity and a masculine gender identity but female genitalia, or a female sexual identity and the gender identity of a woman in a body with male reproductive equipment. In this theory, sex change is viewed as a corrective, a restoration of the body-sex-gender match that “should have been.” Transsexual people who request a sex change (sex reassignment), and physicians assisting them, are working out of these assumptions.1 However, some researchers think that sexual identity and gender identity are independent and don’t always “normally” coincide as male-man or femalewoman. They believe that some cases of transsexualism, then, are not a rejection of the birth-assigned sex, but can simply be instances where sex and gender don’t match. Some non-TS trangendered people, regardless of their sexual identity, have a non-specific gender identity.2 There is, in addition, a substantial body of opinion in several fields of study and among some transgendered groups that gender is largely or entirely a social construction, a learned set of attitudes and behaviors that is flexible rather than being fixed and biologically determined. These critics of the biological theories, including some non-TS Should society view transgendered/ transsexual (TG/TS) people as a sexual minority group or as mentally ill people? It depends on whom you ask. The medical, psychiatric, and social science communities do not agree on a core set of concepts or approaches. Many transgendered persons have views that contradict those of the professionals. Terminology, too, is inconsistent. The present medical and lay discourse and the fluidity of language are reminiscent of what was happening around language of sexual orientation not so many years ago. Remember, although the Kinsey reports came out in 1948 and 1953, until the 1970s homosexuality was still on the books as mental illness. Bisexuality was widely ignored until the late 1980s. In both instances, change occurred through activism plus new knowledge from research and social theorists. Sex and Gender: Basics To understand transgender we must understand the difference between modern concepts of sex and gender. Sex and gender become entwined in our discussion, often in ways that defy logic or consistency. People—even medical/ therapeutic professionals— mix or switch between biological and social concepts without seeming to realize it. Sex refers to biological maleness and femaleness and is based on physiological features of the reproductive system and chromosomes. Intersexuality (hermaphroditism) identifies those who at birth have some parts of both male and female reproductive organs. Early in life an individual forms a sexual identity, that is, a sense that being male/male-bodied or being a female person within one’s female body is part of one’s selfhood. Gender is psychological and social, separate from but possibly linked to body sex. Societies have template expectations— however widely or narrowly conceived or overlapping— of how a girl/ woman or boy/man feels, thinks, and acts. Gender identity is an individual’s sense of belonging in and fulfilling this social role. Gender dysphoria is a state of extreme discomfort with one’s assigned sex because one’s sexual identity and gender identity don’t match the body. No one knows how either sexual identity or gender identity develops— whether inborn, acquired from the sociocultural environment, or a combination— but there are opinions on all sides. Confusingly, we also use the term “sexual identity” to refer to one’s sexual orientation as a bisexual, a lesbian, or a gay man, but this is a concept different from male-female sexual identity. Sexual orientation refers to one’s potential to be erotically attracted to the same and/ or the other sex. Transgendered people can have any sexual orientation. As with everyone else, the most reliable indicator of sexual orientation is the individual’s self-definition. Theories and Critics Transgenderism is not new and is not only a Western occurrence. Many types by many names have been reported in most cultures and back through history and legend to ancient times. As with all forms of otherness, attitudes toward transgender in various cultures and eras have ranged from persecution to tolerance to reverence. Such persons are sometimes perceived as having special spiritual insights. Some societies accommodate transgendered individuals by creating special practices or social relationships. The transsexual form of transgenderism is not new, either, but it has newly emerged as a clinical diagnosis and social issue since the 1950s. That is when surgical techniques and knowledge of endocrinology and hormone therapy had developed sufficiently to make sex more ➟ Medical/Therapeutic Processes-- and their Critics By Caroline Presnell 16 Open Hands transgendered people, argue that TS is a product of society’s gender role stereotyping. Some charge that it was partly created by and is perpetuated by a selfserving sex change industry. They see sex change as buying into gender stereotypes of masculinity and femininity rather than rebelling against them.3 Diagnosis and Treatment Medical doctors and therapists today both generally consider transsexualism (TS) an illness, but they disagree on how to treat it. The medical diagnosis of TS has been described as a negotiating process between the patient and the medical team. The main “symptom” is a strong demand for sex change. Some patients and doctors are content with partial alterations— without genital surgery—such as reduction of the Adam’s apple, mastectomy, or hormone treatment. Doctors say that they perform the surgery to alleviate severe psychological suffering. Indeed, to qualify for the full range of change procedures, a transsexual’s distress must appear extreme, even suicidal. The American Psychiatric Association defines transsexualism as extreme gender dysphoria, a psychological condition with no physiological symptoms at all. Their practitioners do not advocate surgical remedies except reluctantly to address acute suffering. However, psychological counseling alone has been no more effective in changing gender identity to match anatomy than it has been for changing sexual orientation. Transsexualism thus gets treated by drastic physiological intervention where, usually, relief is achieved. To desire or submit to the severe alteration of a healthy body, one’s motivation must surely be extreme. Surgical procedures such as removal or internal relocation of testes, mastectomy, excision of the penis, and construction of an artificial vagina or penis are obviously very traumatic, very expensive, and are seldom covered by health insurance. Recuperation is long and painful, sometimes with repeat surgeries. The changes are also irreversible. The screening process for acceptance for surgery is intended to help individuals be very sure they want the procedures and have a good chance of adjusting to the new sex/gender. In addition to extensive psychological testing and interviewing, candidates are required to go through a transition period of about a year during which they must live full time as the desired gender. Usually hormone therapy proceeds in the transition, so physical characteristics such as hair growth patterns and body fat distribution begin to change. Success in passing in the new role largely determines final eligibility for surgery. Many critics charge that the standard measurements of masculinity and femininity used by clinical teams to determine the patient’s degree of gender role deviation are formulated on narrow stereotyped images of gender roles. Transsexuals, in order to demonstrate their condition as needing remedy and their qualifications for receiving it, must conform to behaviors that many other groups are modifying or rejecting. This is especially true for the “feminine” characteristics expected of male-to-female transsexuals. Yet, most transsexuals assert that this is what they have always wanted, what they always were, and that the changes are a matter of bringing to the outside what was previously already inside. Sex Change Realities Most individuals identifying as transsexuals say they “always knew” they had the “wrong” body. Often the discomfort and the cross-gender behavior starts in childhood. They experience their bodies as alien, even repulsive. They may crossdress part time or full time. For many, the psychological pain is intense and some turn to substance abuse to ease it. They report a lifetime of feeling that they don’t fit in, of rejection and/or ridicule. Echoing lesbigay history, many transsexuals deal with their pain and confusion in isolation. Does what’s accomplished with sex change procedures really equal the new sex? The chromosomes haven’t changed. The new body will need constant maintenance for life— for example, with makeup or electrolysis— and would at least partially revert if hormones were discontinued. The individual cannot perform the reproductive functions of the new sex. Except for the transition period and perhaps some experience in “passing,” there is no history of being in the world as the other sex and gender, no accumulated set of responses or ways to be “in” the gender. Some people after their surgery feel that something is still missing, and a small number have severe adjustment problems. But despite the limitations, and perhaps due partly to the screening process, most are very happy with the changes. They feel immense relief. They feel proud of the new body. They go on with ordinary productive lives and relationships, feeling better equipped than before. As long as our culture continues to operate under the assumption that there are two distinct sexes and genders, some transgendered people will seek sex change surgery in order to better fit their internal realities to their external ones. And other TG people will continue to challenge that binary assumption, seeking to break down the very notion that only two sexes/genders exist. ▼ Notes 1Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw (New York: Routledge, 1994), p. 30; Bernice L. Hausman, Transsexualism (Durham: Duke Univ. Press, 1995), pp. 7-26, 41-43, 77, 147, 153-58, 166, 199; John Money, Gendermaps (New York: Continuum, 1995). Although these authors do not specifically separate the three factors, I believe the division can be educed from their writings. 2Michael Z. Fleming, et. al., “Questioning Current Definitions of Gender Identity,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 9, no. 1, (1980):13- 26; Holly Devor, “Sexual Orientation Identities, Attractions, and Practices of Femaleto Male Transsexuals,” The Journal of Sex Research 30 (November 1993):303-315. 3Holly Devor, ibid; Hausman. op. cit., pp. 107, 185-94; Suzanne J. Kessler and Wendy McKenna, Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach (Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press, 1985); Janice G. Raymond, The Transsexual Empire (New York/London: Columbia Univ. Teachers College Press, 1994). Caroline Presnell is a member of Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in Evanston, Illinois. Fall 1996 17 FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: SEXUAL INTEGRITY By Mary E. Hunt The glacial pace of change on matters sexual, especially in Christian church circles, prompts me to propose a new way to think about the issues at hand. Patience is not a virtue when peoples’ lives are at stake. Integrity is. The droning debates about sexual identity, sexual preference, and sexual orientation all bog down at the point where science and theology meet, both coming up empty handed on the whys and wherefores of human love. I encourage the continued research that will help us sort out the biological from the environmental, nature from nurture. Along with many students of these matters, I suspect that a complex interaction of factors will show that neither side is finally determinative. Add to the mix the emerging literature on transgendered people, and what becomes clear is that binary categories— he-she, heterosexual-homosexual—have long outlived their usefulness. Still, integrity has its place. A great debate as the U.S.A. gears up for the next census is how to count the multiracial people among us, the children of people from different races. So, too, I predict, will census takers face the dilemma shortly that the gender categories are far too few to encompass the variety among us. Martine Rothblatt, a post-op male-tofemale transsexual who has a successful career in law and business, genderchange notwithstanding, writes: “In the future, labeling people at birth as ‘male’ or ‘female’ will be considered just as unfair as South Africa’s now-abolished practice of stamping ‘black’ or ‘white’ on people’s ID cards.”1 Rothblatt suggests colors as a useful set of categories for describing sexuality, insisting that just as colors come in an endless series of hues, so too do our sexualities come cise terminology that is difficult to quantify, even harder to translate across cultures, races, and time. In light of this, I propose that the debate in church circles be conducted using sexual integrity as the primary category. This is not a Jesuitical way of passing over the dilemmas of modern biological and social sciences, but an attempt to contribute a constructive element to the debate from a theo-ethical starting point. Integrity means wholeness. Wholeness suggests that we strive for, and encourage one another to achieve, the healthy integration of oneself in a community which comes from achieving a “fit” between who we say we are and who others perceive us to be. Integrity also means moral soundness, honesty, a moral “fit” between what I say and what I do. This is even more difficult to achieve in a society and in churches where “don’t ask, don’t tell” is epidemic. But it is a challenge which would make some thrice-married congressmembers cease and desist in their efforts to legislate the “defense of marriage.” It would level the ethical playing field for future discussions, which, in itself, would be a good first step toward sexual justice. ▼ Note 1Martine Rothblatt, The Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender, (New York: Crown, 1995), p. 1. Mary E. Hunt, a feminist theologian, is codirector of WATER, the Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual in Silver Spring, Maryland. in a variety of ways. Regardless of what one thinks of the analogy, the larger point is that the more we know about sexuality the more we discover just how differentiated it really is. This is the social context in which church people debate issues of same-sex love. When listened to through the ears of postmodern people who acknowledge a tremendous diversity and deem it good, if still somewhat confusing, the categories of the debate—“practicing,” “self-affirming,” “unrepentant”—seem ever so quaint, not to say a little silly. Concretely, the pastoral problems we face tomorrow are not confined to whether the pastor and his partner of thirty years are sleeping together; more power to them. Rather, if we are honest and forward looking, the problem will be how does somebody’s child figure out what gender she is, with whom she cares to partner, whether she will remain a “she” for the better part of her days, and what it all means in terms of her being part of a community of people who allegedly affirm all of creation as participating in the Divine? Sexual identity, as gays and lesbians have used the term popularly, is predicated on certain static, essentialist notions that “I am what I am.” Great song, but is it good epistemology? We know now that sexual identity changes over a lifetime for many people. It fluctuates with age, cultural consequences, and relational status. In short, today’s heterosexually married woman can be tomorrow’s happily single lesbian. Likewise, sexual preference is a slippery term. The factors that go into informing a “preference,” and the degree to which such a preference can shift, make it less than ideal as a basis for a social change movement. So, too, with sexual orientation we are dealing with a less than pre18 Open Hands About the time I feel I have no lessons left to learn in my Christian life, God will bring out one more. I would like to share something I found out recently about myself and prejudice. A few of you have heard this anecdote, so bear with me. Prejudice, bigotry, bias; they are all such ugly words and uglier still when their effects have been leveled at you. As members of Affirmation1 we all share some level of concern about our place in American society and particularly our place within the United Methodist Church. We long for those places to be better, to have parity. Within the teachings of Christ we hear love and acceptance, but within the organization of the church we have a Book of Discipline which spells out our place in rather painful terms. Experiencing so much open, systematic, vocal rejection by what should be the very instrument of Christian love has really been difficult for me. Over the years I evolved from closeted and ultraconservative to essentially open and liberal. I definitely understood the need for acceptance, tolerance, love thy neighbor, and so on. Only I didn’t. You see, my “neighbor” was defined as anyone who was already a lot like me, or who thoughtfully kept their distance and did not offend or challenge. What an utterly shameful position for a Christian to take. The thing is, that position was so long-term, so background to my day, that I was not even aware of it. When National Affirmation requested a forum for transsexuals, I openly questioned what this had to do with us. I felt it unnecessary and offensive. Well, apparently God did not, because within a few weeks circumstances pushed me grudgingly into conversation with a well-known local transsexual. The conversation was innocuous and the content irrelevant, but the epiphany that occurred for me immediately altered my life. I was suddenly so aware of, and ashamed of, my selfishness— and astonished that these feelings had smoldered long past the point where I considered myself insightful and devout. Since then I have made it my daily practice to be alert for other times that I may reject or disenfranchise some person or group. I relate this story to you because I believe it so important for us...to be sure that our focus includes making a place at the table, not just gaining one. When our thoughts, our conversations, or our humor are self-deprecating or exhibit prejudice or bigotry toward others, we are debilitating our spiritual selves and thwarting our real desire— to have a full relationship with our Lord. I frequently ask myself, “Have I been forgiving today? Have I been compassionate?” To these questions I now add, “Who have I sent away?” ▼ Editor’s Note Affirmation is a national United Methodist lesbigay support group, with chapters in numerous cities. Stephanie Rodriguez lives in the Dallas area, is a senior at Texas Woman’s University, and serves as president of Dallas Affirmation. By Stephanie Rodriguez WELCOMING MINISTRIES Fall 1996 19 more ➟ By Karen P. Oliveto My desk drawer has become the official Bethany photo album. All the pictures taken at our various community events wind up in this drawer after their brief stay on a church bulletin board. Four are particularly poignant to me. Testing our Openness The first photo is of a young woman on a church retreat. She smiles slyly into the camera, holding a chameleon she had found on a hike. Remembering who Molly was, the irony of this photo does not escape me. Chameleons are those creatures that change their colors to adapt to their outer surroundings. Molly, however, transformed herself to adapt to an inner landscape that was undetectable to the naked eye. When I first began as pastor of Bethany United Methodist Church in San Francisco, many of the parishioners asked me excitedly, “Have you met Molly yet?” Molly, they informed me, was a male-to-female pre-operative transsexual (TS) who had just started attending Bethany a few months before. The congregation marveled at her knowledge of scripture and her deeplyheld faith. They appreciated her willingness to make herself vulnerable to the community by sharing honestly in prayer time her struggles as a TS. There was another reason why people were excited about Molly’s presence, although this was unspoken. Molly tested the limits of Bethany’s openness. As a reconciling congregation whose membership was pretty evenly split between gay and non-gay people, the congregation felt they were a place where everyone was welcomed. Every level of leadership reflected the congregation’s demographics and they were proud of being a bridge between the gay/lesbian/ bisexual and straight communities. Molly, however, brought a new element into the picture. The congregation had to struggle with a new layer of issues around inclusivity. The lessons we learned through Molly have been invaluable. The other three photos bear witness to this education. Examining Gender Assumptions One photo is of a group of Bethany women soaking in a hot tub, the first event of a newly formed women’s group. It was held at the home of one of our members. The announcement was made in church, inviting the women of the congregation to this special event. Molly signed up. At this point, Molly had only just begun hormone treatment. She was still living her life as a man professionally. In fact, church was the only place she was exclusively living as a woman. While her hair was long and she used quite a bit of make-up, physically, she was still very much a male. Her desire to attend the women’s group raised issues for some of the women. Did we really accept Molly as another woman in the church? What made one a woman? Even though some women struggled with these questions, all encouraged Molly to attend the event. We all knew that this would be Molly’s first outing in a woman’s bathing suit. She arrived a little late. We were already soaking in the tub. We tried to maintain our conversation as Molly disrobed to reveal a woman’s one-piece suit. Then, as she plunged into the hot tub, our admiration of her courage moved us beyond questions of who is a 20 Open Hands woman and who is not. We cheered as she broke the surface. This was truly a baptism of water and the spirit, as Molly claimed yet again who God had created her to be. Allowing Others to Name Themselves The next photo is a group picture taken on another church retreat— it was the first church retreat Molly attended with us. We were in a lodge that had two dormitories filled with bunk beds. As people were choosing their beds, it became evident that we had created one male bunkroom and one female bunkroom. Those of us who arrived early wondered where we should “put” Molly. Then we realized our arrogance— we were not “putting” anyone anywhere—retreatants were choosing for themselves their sleeping quarters. Molly should be allowed to do the same. This was the greatest lesson Molly taught us: the importance of allowing someone to name themselves. Even as an “open” congregation, we had to confess our own rigid adherence to societal norms of what made a person male or female. We struggled with our desire to have people “fit” into certain categories, while Molly’s presence reminded us of the mystery of sexuality and gender. Molly helped us to hold in reverence this sacred gift and to meet people where they were in their journey of claiming their own piece of this gift. Accepting Though Not Understanding The last photo is a picture of the congregation in worship. There is Molly, over to the right, sitting near the LOLs (Little Old Ladies), as they call themselves. Molly had chosen her place in worship nearest the group that had the hardest time understanding who she was. These women, most of them over eighty, grew up in an era when there was no ambiguity about sexuality. Gender roles and expectations were clear and rigid. Yet, in their midst, Molly found a worship home. One Sunday, during the sharing of joys and concerns, Molly announced that she had her license officially changed from male to female. Instantly, her pewmates broke into applause. These LOLs embraced her and accepted her, even when they couldn’t fully understand her. Being Pastorally Ready Looking over these photos, I can’t help but reflect on the pastoral relationship Molly and I shared together. None of the other churches I have served had ever had a TS member, at least that I had been aware of. Molly, wanting me to understand her life and struggles, gave me lots of reading material, primarily autobiographies by other TSs. While there were common threads in each story, nothing helped me understand better than Molly herself. Pastoral relationships, no matter who they’re with, require us to be open to the life experiences of another and to discern there the movement of God. Molly’s life experiences were vastly different from my own, but I was committed to meeting her where she was and being her companion in the faith. This was not always easy. There were parts of her world that were tremendously unfamiliar to me. There were communities she belonged to that were far from my own. So that our relationship could have integrity, I did not hide either my ignorance or my lack of understanding from Molly. Molly returned my honesty by being patient with me as she took great pains to educate me. More than anything, Molly wanted to be known, especially by the faith community. The most difficult area for me, however, was around gender issues. Molly, as she explored what it meant for her to be a woman, pressed a lot of my buttons around my own feelings of inadequacy and around my questions about gender. While Molly was asking her own set of questions, a voice within me was asking, “So, what does it mean for you, Karen, to be a woman?” It would have been easy to take out my own frustrations on Molly. I knew I had my own work to do around these issues so that I could be as present as possible to Molly and not have my own issues set the agenda for our time together. This was especially important in light of what I represented to Molly. She had known much rejection from the church and had been taught to be ashamed of who she was. Yet she knew that God, for whatever reason, had made her who she was. By representing the institutional church, I could be a vessel of healing for Molly, as she struggled between the church’s rejection and God’s acceptance. Raising Accountability in a New Way Still, I had to struggle with the difference between acceptance and calling Fall 1996 21 her into accountability as a person of faith. As a TS who found limited acceptance in the larger society, Molly traveled among several sub-cultures. Even though they had an element of danger, these provided her with a sense of community. Her actions confused me. I saw her work so hard and invest so much into becoming a woman; at the same time she was engaging in what I considered to be self-destructive behaviors. “Is what you are doing increasing your love of God, neighbor, and yourself?” These behaviors pushed the limits of my tolerance. But what is the moral measuring stick used to determine “good” and “right” or “bad” and “wrong” behavior? I realized that this was the wrong question. Instead, the question I posed to Molly was more a question of faith: “Is what you are doing increasing your love of God, neighbor, and yourself?” (Thank you, Richard Niebuhr.) This allowed Molly to be her own moral agent, instead of my trying to fit her into an ethical structure that had little room for her and her experience. Deuteronomy 22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man’s apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God” (NRSV). Deuteronomy 22:5 is used against transgendered people. However, the HarperCollins Study Bible suggests that this crossdressing prohibition referred to practices used in the worship of the Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar. Harper’s Bible Commentary further explains that this verse is part of a larger passage (21:22—22:12) with a common theme of “solidarity”— Israel’s solidarity with God. The worship of Ishtar involved crossdressing so the religion of Yahweh prohibited it to encourage Israelite solidarity. Verse 22:12 exhorted the Israelites to wear tassels or fringes on the four corners of their cloaks—a distinctive dress code which promoted positive visible solidarity with Yahweh. Remember also the ancient biblical world’s insistence that things created separately in nature (according to their understanding) should not be mixed, including the mixing of sexual roles (Leviticus 18:22) and gender roles (Deuteronomy 22:5). learned, the prayers we spoke together, the woman of faith I have become because she shared her life and faith with me. One of her friends said at her memorial service: “Let us never forget that Molly was more than just a transsexual.” How true. Like each one of us, Molly is a sum of many parts, brought together by God to make a unique piece of art. I put the pictures away, but they are forever etched in my mind, a reminder of one woman’s painful journey to become the person God created her to be. ▼ Karen P. Oliveto is chair of the board of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Discovering One Safe Space Is Not Enough Often, when we met, Molly would begin to sob. These sobs would originate somewhere deep within her soul, as she was consumed by moans and tears. It was the expression of the pain and frustration of being someone whom the world chose to reject and ridicule. I often wondered if having the safe place of a church was enough for Molly. It wasn’t. The immense pain Molly bore became too great—and one day she leapt off the Golden Gate Bridge. Our community mourned deeply the loss of one of our sisters. More than Just a Transsexual It has been more than a year since Molly’s death. Still, her impact on our community is evident. People recall events and times with Molly with great fondness. The things she taught us about the struggle to become who God created you to be continue to shape how many of us live. As a pastor, I, too, have been touched irrevocably by this one in the picture who holds a chameleon. I remember her mischievous grin, her wicked sense of humor, her pleading eyes, and her fiery anger. I recall the journey we shared as she invited me to walk with her through her transformation. I recall the lessons I 22 Open Hands May I come to your church? Martha writes: It was a standard Thursday. Teach. Office hours. Check e-mail. And then there on the screen was a startling message from Don McCloskey, a male senior colleague at another school. “I am cross-gendered, lifetime, and after fifty-three years of being a good soldier, I am finally doing something about it. Not to stun you, but I am becoming a woman.” Much reflection—theological and otherwise—followed. What did this mean? What is a “man?” A “woman?” Where do transsexuals fit into God’s creation? I came to see that, regardless of anything else, Don (soon to be Deirdre) was a child of God. Whatever else was happening, our prayers were needed. An e-mail friendship soon developed. I learned that Deirdre would spend six weeks in Berkeley during a bevy of cosmetic surgeries. She asked if she could visit our church. “Can we welcome and affirm Deirdre?” I wrote to our on-line church members. Their responses overwhelmed me. Thoughtful, prayerful responses. People who had personal issues with transsexualism named their issues and clearly distinguished them from the theological issue. Others acknowledged some discomfort, but in honesty, not in opposition. “Yes,” they all replied. “God’s love knows no bounds and therefore neither can ours. We can welcome and affirm Deirdre!” On Thanksgiving Sunday 1995, we welcomed Deirdre. “May the Peace of Christ be with you always.” Deirdre writes: I felt the warmth of Martha’s religious faith in her outreach to me, someone she knew only slightly in a professional line. In November 1995, when I was under attack by my sister in Chicago (the third of four episodes in three states), Esther Hargis, the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley, and other Baptist friends were wonderful in support. I felt for the first time since childhood the strength that faith brings. So I wanted to visit the congregation that had already started sending me loving e-mails. (Think of a new translation: Paul’s e-mails to the Corinthians!) I knew nothing of the discussion that Martha reports. I knew merely that when I came, as a “new woman” (a better term I think than the medicalsounding “transsexual”), I was lovingly accepted. I was so frightened that first Sunday, in my Sunday best, with all of four days of “full-time” experience as a woman! I needn’t have worried. The lovely sermon, music, passing of the peace, and testimony left me blubbering shamelessly. ACTS 8 IN TODAY’S CHURCH By Deirdre N. McCloskey and Martha L. Olney Growing Up In and Out of the Faith Deirdre writes: I was a Christian of sorts as a boy, listening fervently to the radio show “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” affected by the church music my mother sang as a musician. My family on my father’s side was Catholic, though secularized. From adolescence on, I lived in a heavily Catholic town. When I started going out with girls, they were Catholics, as my future wife was. My parents were agnostics, but deeply respectful of religion. I remember them, for example, reading and debating Cardinal Newman’s Apologia Pro Vita Sua. So if I could acquire faith, it would, I think, be in the Catholic Church—though the First Baptist Church of Berkeley has given me a new look at the Baptist tradition. From age eleven I definitely wished to be a girl, although I “caged” the beast for forty years. It was natural that, when in August 1995 I realized who I was and what my lifetime of closeted crossdressing was all about, I described the realization in religious terms, as an “epiphany” while driving from Chicago to Iowa City after a crossdressing meeting. This proved to be a mistake: psychiatrists take religious experiences (mine was not; it was just an “Aha!” effect) as evidence of madness. My sister used the word against me to try to get me locked up. It is strange, this prejudice against religion, part of an ignorantly secular world. Martha writes: “What does it mean to be a Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” a gay friend in our congregation, First Baptist Church of Berkeley, asked. “Do we simply welcome and affirm people ‘who are different like we are?’ Or does it mean something more?” My first reply was easy. “It’s in our Statement of Purpose. We welcome and affirm gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in all lay and professional ministries.” But it was one of those questions that stayed with me. He was on to something. A member of our church, who had served jail time after his wife brought assault charges against him, arrived at church on Christmas Day 1994. He hoped only to catch a glimpse of his kids. Under the terms of the restraining order, he knew he could not stay once they arrived. All of my feminist sensibilities screamed at me to be wary, to be cold. And then my friend’s question ran through me: “What does it mean to be a Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” I welcomed the member, greeted him, wished him a Merry Christmas. “God loves you.” Inclusivity, I began to understand, is about stretching our human-made boundaries. It is about believing that God dwells in each and every person. It is not an “anything goes” theology—there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. But the Gospel message is simple: “God’s love and grace surround you always.” Fall 1996 23 Baptism in the Spirit Deirdre writes: The congregation of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley ministered to me in two ways. Its pastor and its members offered me direct support in some of the most terrifying hours of my life. The terror, it is sad to report, came mainly from psychiatrists sworn to heal. “I shall fear no evil for Thou art with me.” The congregation as a whole in the service, and then individually at the social hours and luncheons to follow, treated me as one of God’s children, as a woman, and as appropriate to be loved. The members of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley live out the message of Jesus: God’s love is an inclusive love. In the months I was associated with the church, I took 1 Corinthians 13 as a text, especially for its criticism of intellectual arrogance in the face of love— something professors like myself need to grasp. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13 KJV). The word is “love” in modern translations, but the old word “charity” conveys better the outreaching, affirming love of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley. Deirdre N. McCloskey is professor of economics and history at the University of Iowa, Iowa City. Until November 1995, she was known as Donald N. McCloskey. She is past president of the Social Science History Association and president of the Economic History Association. In these articles on transgender realities, several basic concerns confront us as a culture: 1. What does it mean to be “transgendered” in a “binary gendered” society? 2. How does the binary system (two genders: male and female) oppress those who do not “fit” neatly into that system? 3. What would be different in our culture if we looked at transgender realities as healthy responses to the oppressive male privilege system that accompanies our binary system?1 Other basic concerns address us directly as “welcoming communities”: 1. How have we excluded transgendered people from Christian community? 2. How do we reconcile Deuteronomy 22:5 with emerging understandings of transgender realities? 3. Can we affirm that transgendered people have the same claim on God’s love and the church’s ministry as anyone else? 4. What ministries are needed? 5. How might we (individually or as a congregation or campus ministry) make an inclusive witness? Note 1For more on the “male privilege” system in general, see Open Hands, Fall 1995. Martha writes: In Acts 8 we read, “Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch.... So Philip ran up to [him] and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah.... The eunuch asked Philip, ‘About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?’ Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture [Isaiah 53:7-8], he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, ‘Look here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?’... Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and Philip baptized him” (Acts 8:27, 30, 34-38 NRSV). The eunuch, someone traditionally understood as residing outside the Realm of God, was approached by Philip, an apostle preaching the Good News of Jesus Christ. When the eunuch asked to be baptized, Philip offered no opposition. Indeed, in one reading of the text, not only the eunuch but also Philip himself are immersed in the baptismal waters. The eunuch inadvertently teaches Philip about the inclusivity of the Good News. We welcomed Deirdre to our worship service, believing we could minister to her in a time of need. Our prayers joined with those of dozens of others throughout cyberspace. We offered her Christian love and nurture. A surprising thing happened. Just by asking if she would be welcome in our midst, Deirdre ministered to us. Like the eunuch some two millennia ago, a presumed outsider expanded our understanding of the inclusivity of the Gospel message. “Do we simply welcome and affirm people ‘who are different like we are?’” No. We welcome and affirm in the name of Jesus Christ. In so doing, we not only share but also receive God’s grace. The Holy Spirit baptizes us all. ▼ Martha L. Olney is treasurer of the First Baptist Church, a Welcoming and Affirming congregation in Berkeley, California. She is a lifetime American Baptist and direct descendent of Roger Williams. Martha teaches economics at the University of California, Berkeley. WELCOMING ALL: Deirdre (left) and Martha share a happy moment. 24 Open Hands The story I share is my own story. I speak only from that story and not for a community, or for a culture, or for anyone else besides myself. My story is uniquely and individually mine and I claim it with as much pride as I can because I have spent too many years hating it and trying to disclaim it. The story that I share is the journey of understanding myself as a transsexual. That is, I have always thought that I should have been born a woman and not a man. Knowing and accepting this, though, has never been easy. Feeling Caught Quite a while ago, I began my coming out process in a conversation with a friend. Eric told me about his journey as a gay man and what that meant to his life and his relationship with God. As I listened, I thought to myself, “His childhood sounds so much like my own. Why does it seem like he is telling my story instead of his own?” I listened even closer. He talked about how as a child, he felt so much shame; I felt that shame. He talked about how he did “male things” in school to keep others from calling him a sissy or gay; I did those “male things” to keep others from calling me gay. He talked about how afraid he was of God hating him; I felt that fear, and I knew about that hate. As I listened to Eric weave the story of his life through his tears, I could not help but remember parts of my own life, when I too felt caught between my own feelings and what others expected me to be. When I was very young, I remember loving to go to the grocery store with my mom. I enjoyed helping to choose what foods we would eat, just as long as I could stop by the small toy section so I could see what was offered. This one time, I eyed a special toy. It was not a race car or army toy that most of the little boys like me always picked. I spied a Holly Hobby play set and I wanted it. It had a dozen different activities that could be played by oneself or with a friend. What would I do, though? It was in the little girls’ section and I was so scared that my mom would be disappointed in me for picking the “wrong” toy. First, I stood there, clutching it under my arm. Then I ran around the corner and just asked if I could have it. She looked it over, said, “Okay,” and put it in the cart. I even remember the cashier commenting about it and my mom responding, “It’s for my son, he can carry it.” Still nervous when I got home, I ran into my play space hidden from all adult view behind a pile of boxes. In that one safe space, I played with Holly Hobby, but always alone, never with a friend. Fitting In—Not! Eric mentioned how he seemed to get along with so many more women than men. Again I connected with his feelings. In elementary school, each year I had a best friend that was a girl. Never wanting to go to the far end of the playground where the boys played soccer, we stayed where the girls played foursquare and make-believe. Those were some of the best times I had with friends—until the fifth grade. When we advanced to new schools for the fifth grade, it became a wellknown fact that girls and boys should not play together. I did not want to lose my friends, but who was I to convince everyone to disobey the unwritten rules. I remained stuck between the boys and the girls. I did not want to play with the boys and the girls did not want to play with me. High school seemed worse. I was tired of not fitting in with either the boys or the girls. My solution was to join the most masculine-based activity I could find, only to affirm how much I did not belong there. On the football team I gained an instant identification with a male group and I could wear my jersey to prove it. Silently, though, I knew that I did not fit in. Weightlifting was not done for muscles or the football team as much as it was to build up my chest. Secretly, I wanted to join the cheerleaders instead. Admitting What I Wanted As Eric continued talking, I realized that the similarities between our stories did not lead to similar identities. Eric is gay; I am not. I struggled within myself thinking, “I know I am not gay, but why does his story parallel my own?” My insides hurt. “Why was I connecting with his story? Why would my life match a gay man’s? I know I am not gay because I love women. In fact, I love women so much, I’ve always wanted— to be one.” For the first time in my life, I admitted to myself what I have always wanted. After I admitted this deep secret, more memories flooded back. I remembered standing in a shower, crying to God, pounding on the tile, asking why I was born a boy. I remembered dressing up to be a lady until I was too afraid of being caught. I remembered trying to push God out of my play space because I was so afraid of God watching me and I was so ashamed of wanting to be a girl and Fall 1996 25 not a boy. I remembered thinking that I must be perverted for wanting to love a woman as only a woman could. I remembered spending my whole life hating who I am and hating God not only for making me a man, but also for not liking me because I wanted to be a woman. Beginning my New Story After Eric finished his story, and after I accepted the story I own, I began a new story for myself. I would no longer live a life of self-deceit. I would no longer accept the shame and guilt that I secretly carried with me. To begin, I would tell my friends who I am. With these friends, I used the label “lesbian” until I found more appropriate words to use: transsexual and transgendered. This process of accepting a label was very important to me. Having a label allowed me to claim a connection with others who share my experience so that I would not feel as alone as I have always felt. Having a label allowed me to take some pride in what has always embarrassed me. My sacred story tells me that God did not make a mistake at my birth. Though my religion usually regards pride as sinful and destructive, I now realize that my lack of pride has been the root of my lifelong separation from God. Since I could not accept myself, I was not ever able to believe that God could accept me and love me. Consequently, this coming out process has not only helped me to find myself, but also to find God. Coming out to God was difficult, but I eventually told God everything. It was similar to a confession, but I did not see a need for penitence or repentance. It was more like I had come home from being gone for so long, or like I had been a lost coin that was just found. I could celebrate with God, as if I heard, “My precious child, you have finally believed what I have known for so long. You are my creation and you are good. Yes, I know you are a transsexual and I love you.” For the first time, I could live in the love of God without expecting judgment or criticism. It was the first time with God that I did not have to either pretend I was someone other than who I am, try to earn God’s love and attention, or push God out of my space. Believing that God could make me who I am and call me good gave me encouragement to believe in myself. For me, believing in myself meant learning to love myself as a transsexual. I spent many years of my past trying to be “a man” while hating the woman inside of me. I do not now want to try to be “a woman” and hate the masculine parts of me. So, I am trying to love all of me, the parts that are woman, the parts that are man, and the transsexual that they make together. Claiming my Ministry I was telling this story—my story—to a good friend, but she did not understand. She asked me, “What does it matter?” At the time, I could not answer her question, but now I know. Going through the ordination process, I realized that my ministry is about who God made me to be. My ministry is about my sacred story. If I am to empower laity to give the testimony of their own sacred story, I must be true to my sacred story. If I am to preach of God’s love, I need to believe in God’s love. If I am to join in the liberation of the oppressed and the sick, I must act in liberating my sacred story from the chains that have bound it. My sacred story tells me that God did not make a mistake at my birth. My sacred story tells me that I do not have a psychological problem that needs to be solved. My sacred story tells me that God did not hate me for all these years, but just the opposite: I am a child of God and I am a transsexual. ▼ Tony Ryan is the pen name of an ordained pastor who says “I understand that it would be best not to include my name in this issue. However, I also know that much of the content of my article contradicts the idea of anonymity.” This dilemma is the reality Tony lives. TG/TS Organizations and Publications American Educatonal Gender Information Service (AEGIS), P.O. Box 33724, Decatur, GA 30333. 404/939-0244. General information on transgenderism. Publishes pamphlets, maintains library and archives, staffs a helpline. Also publishes Chrysalis Quarterly, a magazine on transgendered issues. FTM International, 5337 College Avenue, #142, Oakland, CA 94618. The leading support and education organizaiton for female- to-male transsexuals. In Your Face: the journal of political activism against gender oppression, 274 W. 11th, #4R, New York, NY 10014. 212/645- 1753.Twice yearly. Copies/subscriptions available. Creator/author Riki Anne Wilchins. Edited/published by Nancy Nangeroni, Ninja Design, Cambridge, MA. International Federation for Gender Education (IFGE), P.O. Box 367, Wayland, MA 01778. 617/899-2212. An educational and service organization. Publishes catalogue of books and pamphlets on transgendered issues. Many books listed on page 29 can be obtained from them. Publishes Transgender Tapestry, a quarterly national magazine. Outreach Institute, 126 Western Avenue, #246, Augusta, ME 04330. 207/621-0858. Mainly for mental health professionals. A source of research information packets. PFLAG, 1101 14th Street, NW, Suite 1030, Washington, DC 20005. 202/638-4200. Publishes a Transgender Resource Packet and has contact person available to help. Renaissance Education Association, Inc., P.O. Box 60552, King of Prussia, PA 19406. 610/630-1437. Has support chapters in several states, operates a speakers’ bureau, holds information meetings for non-transgendered people. The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Inc., 1515 El Camino real, Palo Alto, CA 94306. 415/326-4645. The Standards of Care are available from this group. The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess), P.O. Box 194, Tulare, CA 93275. Has twentysix chapters serving male heterosexual crossdressers, but is inclusive of family and friends. The Transexual Menace, 274 W. 11th, #4R, New York, NY 10014. 212/645-1753. A loosely structured direct action “organization” with chapters nationwide. Founded by Riki Anne Wilchins. 26 Open Hands life while growing up, but God was with me every step of the way and gave me the necessary strength to eventually accept myself as an intrinsically valuable transgendered person. (And please understand— I’m quite aware that I’m not valuable or worthwhile because of who I am, but because of Whose I am.). It took many years for me to reach an understanding that God loves me just because I’m me. Despite society’s lack of comprehension regarding the lives and complex issues of transgendered persons, I don’t need to become anything other than myself in order to have a full, rich relationship with Jesus Christ. I know beyond any doubt that God accepts me as a transgendered Christian, skirts and all, and I am humbled by the inclusive grace that has been offered to me through the precious blood of Jesus, my Savior. I’m blessed to have a spouse who loves, supports, and respects me enough not to hinder my individual method of crossgender expression. My daughter and my mother both know about my crossdressing and are very supportive of me. I’m quite aware that I’m in an extremely fortunate position when compared to the personal situations of many other transgendered persons. I have heard and seen many horror stories of rejection and ostracism by spouses, families, friends, and/or society in general. It breaks my heart to know that many of my transgendered sisters and brothers have been denied the right to a happy and productive life simply because of who they are. Transgendered Connections My spouse and I have belonged to a local crossgender community organization since 1988. I remember the first time I attended a meeting of that organization while dressed as my feminine self. I’d never been out of my house when dressed as a woman before and I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous about anything in my life! (If you don’t think it takes courage to do something like that, then I invite any male reading this to walk down the main street of your town while wearing women’s clothing and attempting to “pass” as a woman in public. I can practically guarantee that you’ll quickly gain a new respect for the intestinal fortitude it took to undertake such an endeavor for the first By Vanessa S. I am a forty-six-year-old biological male who is heterosexual and happily married to a loving, accepting Christian spouse. I’m a father, a grandfather, a Christian, and a proud maleto- female crossdresser. I don’t claim to have all the answers to the existential questions of the universe, but I do know one thing for certain: being transgendered is not a curse—it’s a blessing. Being transgendered and Christian is a double blessing. Formative Years Even in my formative years I knew instinctively that I was somehow “different” from other boys. I enjoyed my masculinity (and still do; I have no desire to lose it) but I also felt and experienced a strong internal feminine component, one that inexplicably seemed to demand expression through the medium of crossdressing. I soon learned to hide that difference, because I knew other people wouldn’t easily understand or accept that sort of behavior from me. Our society is quick to teach people like me: “You’re different—be ashamed.” However, I was always aware of the active presence of God in my life despite the culturally instilled gender negativity that I internalized at that early age. My relationship with Jesus Christ has been, and continues to be, the foundation for everything that I am or ever will be. It was not easy being essentially forced to carry a secret and live a double Fall 1996 27 time!) I must have remained sitting in my car for at least twenty minutes just waiting for the butterflies in my stomach to subside. However, once I entered the meeting itself, I quickly discovered the genuine warmth of friendship and acceptance that came from being with others who shared my interest in feminine clothing and behavior. There is an amazing, and even rather mystifying, sense of pride and empowerment that occurs when I’m in a room where being a male in a dress is considered the norm rather than the exception. For me, it’s a lot like “coming home.” Since those early days I have become involved in educational presentations on behalf of the transgender community, facilitated counseling/therapy groups for transgendered persons, and written on crossdressing and Christianity. Spiritual Direction Throughout my life, the one constant I’ve experienced has been the overwhelming love of God through Christ Jesus. I was raised in a fundamentalist Southern Baptist home (not the most promising environment for a young crossdresser, I can assure you!) and was heavily grounded in a biblical-literalist approach to scriptural interpretation. This, of course, ran completely counter to my growing awareness of the internal transgender desires that were making their presence heavily felt in my life. I found myself increasingly at odds with my religious milieu. It wasn’t until I reached my mid-thirties, however, that I actively began to seek out a genuine relationship with God, one not predicated on the often-formulaic rigidity of man-made religion, but instead rooted in a loving, personal, and dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ. This new spiritual insight allowed me to begin experiencing a period of growth unlike anything I’d known before. To this day I find myself continually amazed at the depth and richness that life lived in authentic relationship with Jesus has to offer. It would be counterproductive for me to spend time and/or waste energy bashing or belittling the institutional Christian church and its traditionally negative attitudes toward various sexual and/or gender minorities. I’m concerned with building bridges rather than walls between people and communities, and I want to state unequivocally that I love the church of Jesus Christ with all my heart. It’s my spiritual heritage, for better or worse, and I can’t seem to walk away from that (no matter how much I may have wanted to do so at various times in my life). Instead, I believe God is calling me—and, indeed, all of us— to help bring about a genuine transformation of the church, a transformation based upon love, mutual respect, acceptance, compassion, and inclusion for all who would be a part of the body of Christ. Inclusive Witness I strongly believe it is time for Christians who are transgendered to recognize the freedom that is to be found in Christ Jesus: the freedom to be who and what we are, to fully express our transgendered selves in grateful relationship with a loving God, and to assume our rightful, equal place within the Body of Christ. The spirits of transgendered persons have been eternally liberated through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and I believe we do our God a disservice when we fail to live our lives as the authentic, healthy transgendered individuals we were created to be. Yes, we are “different”—not necessarily bad or intrinsically evil—only different. We are also gifted in ways that can allow us to more fully discern, appreciate, and then express the intricacies of human nature, the complexities within ourselves, and the accepting nature of the God who created us in love and for love. Our outer appearance, our clothing and adornment, or our gender-based demeanor should have no bearing whatsoever on our status as persons who desire a relationship with our Creator and with our spiritual heritage, the church of Jesus Christ. Those of us who lead differently gendered lives are in a unique position to teach (as well as learn from) others about the transcendent, powerful, and life-changing love of God. We are living, tangible proof of the absolute delight God takes in diversity, and in humankind as an expression of that diversity, and as such we are truly blessed. I pray for the day when the Christian church will see the wisdom in ensuring the equality of transgendered persons, first as human beings and then as sisters and brothers in Christ Jesus. On that day the Body of Christ will have actively demonstrated the triumph of God’s inclusive and all-encompassing love over the forces of ignorance and exclusion.▼ Vanessa S. lives in the midwest with her spouse and their son. She is heavily involved in music ministry within the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and in local/national transgender educational outreach and activism. She is also the author of The Cross and the Crossdresser: Personal Reflections on Crossdressing from a Christian Perspective, and Cross Purposes: On Being Christian and Crossgendered. Bornstein Reflects “The reality of being a transgendered individual goes way beyond just being born in the wrong body. Rather, it reflects a deeper dissatisfaction with the bipolar gender system, the culturally constructed imperative to be either man or woman. Transgendered people blur traditional definitions of gender and flout established gender rules. The first wave of feminists in the 1960s transgressed a basic rule of gender when they began working outside the home. Gays and lesbians transgressed another when they loved each other openly. Now this third wave, the transgendered movement itself, embraces choice, fluidity even, of gender. You no longer are locked into being male or female; you can be either or neither, whenever and wherever you choose. It’s that simple, and that complicated.” —Kate Bornstein Source Heather M. Little, “Bornstein Again,” Chicago Tribune, 10 September 1995. 28 Open Hands This liturgy was created by Karen P. Oliveto, pastor of Bethany United Methodist Church, a reconciling congregation in Berkeley, California. It may be reproduced for religious renaming events without further permission. ___: I am (new name). One: You have known the waters of baptism, when you were claimed as God’s own. Today, we again use water, as a reminder to you that God continues to claim you and sustain you. May these waters refresh and renew you in your journey of faith. (New name) cups hands over a basin while water is poured from a pitcher. (New name) draws this water to his/her lips. One: (New name), you are God’s beloved child. May you continue to be a faithful follower of Jesus, glorifying God through all that you do and all that you are. My friends, I present to you (new name). Congregational Response: (New name), we rejoice with you for all that God has done for you, and for all that has yet to be revealed. As your sisters and brothers, we pledge to walk with you, as you will walk with us. Together we shall drink water from the well of life. May the life and ministry we share always reflect the love of God, which calls us all to wholeness. Hymn Response: “Hymn of Promise” by Natalie Sleeth, 1986. Scripture: Revelation 21:1-6 One: Dearly beloved, as a people of faith, we know that God continues to shape and mold us in our growth, inviting us to claim for ourselves the people who God created us to be. Each new day is an opportunity to live more fully the promise of who we are. Throughout history, individuals, as they have claimed their unique personhood more fully, have been given a new name, a testimony of their faithfulness. All: Abram was renamed Abraham One: Sarai was renamed Sarah All: Simon was renamed Peter One: Saul was renamed Paul. All: We know that renaming is an important way to reflect our new nature found in Christ. One: Today, a child of God comes forward in an important renaming. It has not been an easy journey, yet we know that the road of faith is not an easy one. We have been asked to witness this renaming and become companions for the journey. My friend, throughout your life you have been known as (former name). The Holy Spirit, however, continued to call forth within you something more. Today, you stand before us, your life a testimony to the God who makes all things new. What name do you choose for yourself? “I Am” A Liturgy of Re-Naming for Transgender Persons Sustaining the Spirit Fall 1996 29 Selected Resources Sexuality and Gender Bauerlein, Monika. “The Unkindest Cut.” Utne Reader (September/ October 1996), p. 16. Compares surgery done on intersexual infants in the U.S. to female genital mutiliation in Third World countries—and raises question about why feminists aren’t upset about what’s going on in the U.S. Bolin, Anne. In Search of Eve: Transsexual Rites of Passage. South Hadley, MA: Bergin and Garvey, 1988. This anthropologist wants to see transsexuals legitimated as a sexual minority rather than being defined as mentally ill. Bullough, Vern L. and Bonnie. Cross Dressing, Sex, and Gender. University of Pennsylvania Press, 1993. Thirty years of research into gender impersonation and crossdressing culminate in the most complete survey available of crossdressing and gender impersonation throughout history and in various cultures. Also examines the medical, biological, psychological, and sociological findings that have been presented in modern scientific literature. Burke, Phyllis. GenderShock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female. New York: Doubleday Anchor, 1996. Combining investigative journalism, personal stories, and cultural criticism, this book explodes myths about our rigid gender system by looking through three lenses of gender identity: behavior, appearance, and science. Includes case histories of young persons abused because of their gender. Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990. “A brilliant (if nearly impenetrable) exposition of the production of identity, the binaries of sex, gender, and desire, and the role of language in creating and regulating roles.”—Nancy Nangeroni. Fausto-Sterling, Anne. “The Five Sexes.” The Sciences (March/April 1993), pp. 20-24. This developmental geneticist and professor of medical science at Brown University argues that a continuum of at least five sexes exists. Good introduction to biological realities. Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come. New York: World View Forum, 1992. A Marxist view of when and why transgender oppression arose. Herdt, Gilbert, ed. Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. New York: Zone, 1994. These essays explore the different cultural definitions of a third sex or gender, assembling historical and anthropological studies, challenging the usual emphasis on sexual dimorphism and reproduction,providing a unique perspective on the various forms of socialization of people who are neither “male” nor “female.” Hausman, Bernice L. Transsexualism, Technology, and the Idea of Gender. Durham: Duke University Press, 1995. Traces history of changes in concepts, treatments, and terminology around cross-sex and cross-gender phenomena. Argues that endocrinological and surgical advances enabled emergence of transsexualism. Also argues that “gender” produces “sex,” not vice versa. Hawley, John Stratton, ed. Fundamentalism and Gender. New York: Oxford University Press, 1994. Gender, not the Bible, is a key element in understanding fundamentalism. It’s about keeping women in their proper place. A global look. Kessler, Suzanne J. and Wendy McKenna. Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1985. Analyzes the social and physcial science construction of gender, using transsexualism as a control. Includes several personal stories. Money, John. Gendermaps: Social Constructionism, Feminism, and Sexosophical History. New York: Continuum, 1995. Well-known Johns Hopkins psychologist/sexologist blends biological and psychological insights. Read in relation to Raymond. Raymond, Janice G. The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the She-Male. New York: Columbia University Teachers College Press, 1994. First published in 1979 by Beacon. Charges that transsexualism is the product of society’s gender role sterotyping and is perpetuated by a self-serving medical sex change industry. See esp. the new introduction. Rothblatt, Martine. Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender. New York: Routledge, 1989. “A fascinating challenge to everything I once ‘knew’ to be the case about gender.”— Mary Hunt. Rubin, Henry S. “Do You Believe in Gender?” Sojourner: The Woman’s Forum (February 1996), pp. 7-8. Rubin, a FTM transsexual, explores the tension that sometimes exists between the transgender and transsexual communities in their understandings of gender. TS/TG Stories and Reflections Bornstein, Kate. Gender Outlaw. New York/London: Routledge, 1994. Author combines personal story and analysis, advocates deconstruction of gender. Feinberg, Leslie. Stone Butch Blues. New York: Firebrand, 1993. A powerful and provocative novel presents the life of a person not clearly man or woman, who comes out as butch lesbian then learns to pass as a man in order to survive. Eloquently presents the complexities of being a transgendered person in a world demanding simple explanations. This book brought out the FTM community. Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul. Boston: Beacon, 1996. Blends personal experience with an historical survey of transgenderism—from cooperative to competitive societies and the onset of transgender repression. Closes with a political imperative. S., Vanessa. The Cross and the Crossdresser. King of Prussia, PA: Creative Design Services, 1993. Personal reflections on crossdressing from a Christian perspective. Von Mahlsdorf, Charlotte. I Am My Own Woman. Trans. by Jean Hollander. Pittsburgh: Cleis, 1995. Subtitle says it: The outlaw life of Charlotte Von Mahlsdorf, Berlin’s most distinguished transvestite. 30 Open Hands Movement News More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance MORE LIGHT Christ Presbyterian Church Telluride, Colorado Telluride is an old mining town at nine thousand feet in the Colorado Rockies. Having been a home for members of the “counter culture” in the late sixties, the town of fifteen hundred has more recently become an affluent resort and vacation home community. Christ Presbyterian Church embraces the economic and cultural diversity of the town. Over the years, it has been both a Community and a Congregational Church. Some of its 90 members have been in the community for years, others are new, or part-time residents. In the process of looking for new pastoral leadership, the Session voted to become a More Light Church in order to convey the spirit of the congregation to prospective candidates. Community UCC Boulder, Colorado Located in the foothills of the Rockies, this “high creativity/ low bureaucracy” congregation of 60 adults and 30 children is committed to intergenerational programming and hands-on mission. One of its primary goals is to serve area youth through vibrant programs at the church and in the community. The congregation supports the UMHE chaplain at the University of Colorado at Boulder and the church’s pastor works with the YWCA “Edge” program, designed to enhance the development of girls through education and esteem. Members of the gay and lesbian community are active at the church, which also offers the hospitality of its building to a new congregation of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). OPEN AND AFFIRMING Faith UCC Dayton, Ohio Some 100 members “from all walks of life” make up this active congregation which is a consolidation of Riverdale Congregational Church and Hale UCC. Inspired by a vision of “welcoming all who would come,” the church offers a wide variety of activities, including a computer program for children, diversity training, and classes in self-esteem. At the center of the church’s life is evangelism, including outreach to the lesbian, gay, bisexual community. As one of the few Dayton area churches which publicly welcomes g/l/b people, the church makes use of TV advertising to make this invitation clear. The pastor is engaged in counseling with same-gender couples desiring blessing ceremonies and has officiated at several. First Congregational Church Fresno, California This congregation of 500 members offers strong education, dynamic music, and an Open and Affirming spirit in the midst of an intensely fundamentalist region of California. It serves the diverse neighborhoods around it which include a mix of artists, affluent professional people, and young families. As the church celebrates its 50th anniversary, a capital restoration project is underway to enable the church to renew its commitment to ministry with the community. The congregation hosts a gay/lesbian Al-Anon group, a Lesbian Support Group, and its ONA Task Force continues to help develop this aspect of the church’s life. Old First Reformed Church, UCC Philadelphia, Pennsylvania This is an historic congregation of the Reformed tradition located in the historic section of the city, just three blocks from the Liberty Bell. With some 260 members (and growing), the church engages in a variety of ministries including outreach to the homeless community and year round urban work camps for youth from around the country. With great excitement, church members exceeded their recent capital campaign goal of $385,000, raising $450,000 for building renewal and expansion. The church is also looking at ways to better address the particular needs and interests of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, and persons (of all sexual orientations) who are young singles or in families with children. Somesville Union Meeting House Mt. Desert, Maine The first congregation to be listed as ONA in the Maine Conference, Somesville is a very active church of 75 members. They express their commitment to the community in many ways, including participation in a mentoring program with grade school and high school students who need additional assistance and support either in the classroom setting or oneto- one. An on-going ONA Task Group visits other churches in Maine to share the church’s ONA story. In addition, the church hosts events related to the Maine “Speak Out Project” which provides training for gay and straight persons who wish to be available to talk with groups interested in gay, lesbian, bisexual, and issues and experiences. Fall 1996 31 Epworth United Methodist Church Berkeley, California This church of 300 members is located in an upper-middleclass residential neighborhood in north Berkeley. Epworth was formed by the merger of two churches in the 1950s and constructed its current building in the 1960s. The congregation has a strong tradition of openness, acceptance, and caring, and a ministry of outreach to the community and world. A strong music ministry is at the heart of the congregation’s life, with a bell choir and children’s and adult choirs. The arrival of a new pastor this past summer has propelled explorations of new opportunities for ministry. First United Methodist Church Bellevue, Washington Less than fifty years old, in a fast-growing suburb/city adjacent to Seattle, this congregation has an average attendance of 265 in two services. They are in the midst of a major campaign for a pipe organ, to be installed late in the summer of 1997. Community work includes hosting a chapter of PFLAG and building a new home through Habitat for Humanity. A long period of education and discussion preceded the no-dissent administrative board vote in 1995 to become a Reconciling Congregation. Bellevue First is currently in the process of revamping its decision-making structure with an eye toward less bureaucracy and more personal choice about ministry. Williamston United Methodist Church Williamston, Michigan This 245-member congregation, ten miles from Lansing, carries on a wide array of programs including dynamic music and Christian education programs for all ages, Stephen Ministry, spiritual life retreats, and a Chicago Urban Ministry Experience in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity. A strong Disciple Bible study program was the impetus for beginning discussion of becoming a Reconciling Congregation several years ago. Negative local publicity about the congregation’s outreach to lesbian and gay persons led to a large number of members leaving in 1992-93. The congregation is moving forward in its process of healing and rebuilding and decided to become a Reconciling Congregation in May 1996. Williamston celebrates its centennial this year. RECONCILING WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. 32 Open Hands If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Ecumenical Leaders Meet The leaders of the “welcoming church” programs in different denominations gathered in Chicago for an annual time of sharing and planning in late September. The upbeat mood of the gathering reflected the continued strong growth of our ecumenical movement. The More Light (Presbyterian), Open & Affirming (Disciples), Open and Affirming (UCC), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Reconciling (United Methodist), Supportive (Brethren/ Mennonite), Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) programs were represented at the meeting. For the first time, a representative of the newly-formed Affirming Congregation Program in the United Church of Canada participated. Plans were finalized for the publication of the new curriculum on the Bible and homosexuality in January 1997. As the most broadly-based ecumenical project ever undertaken in our movement, Claiming the Promise will be a breakthrough both ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _______ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Plan Now for Winter or Spring Study Claiming the Promise Groundbreaking New Bible Study Curriculum on Homosexuality ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are children or heirs of God. ▼ Discusses “gracious hospitality” and “gift-ed sexuality.” ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. For more information call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program Call for Articles for Summer 1997 Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! Theme will seek to encourage and enable youth and their leaders to create a welcoming environment in the church for all youth discovering their sexual identities. Looking for: stories, poetry, reflections by youth under 21; counseling/pastoral reflections by pastors/ youth leaders; and specific programming ideas on sexual identities/inclusion issues. Write or call with idea: February 1 Manuscript deadline: May 1 as an excellent study resource and also for its promise of future ecumenical ventures. The program leaders designated January 26, 1997 as Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday when churches in all traditions are invited to celebrate their “welcoming” status and their solidarity with more than 650 other churches in our growing movement across the U.S. In addition, plans were initiated for the production of a “welcoming” worship and music resource in 1997 as well as beginning work on a massive ecumenical welcoming church gathering in 2000. Finally, meeting with the Open Hands Advisory Committee, the movement leaders selected four new themes for the magazine (to run in 1997-98): Sexual Ethics, Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here!, You’re Welcoming: Now What?, and Bisexuality. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 2 - Transgender Realities https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ce6579b16138bdd30ab961e896602e2a.pdf ef8a8ce61756abe0f1c70a935380596c Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 3 Winter 1997 2 Open Hands Sowing Seeds of Inclusion ENVISION THE HARVEST Sowing with Patient Endurance 4 JAMES PRESTON In the parable of the sower and the seed, Jesus offered a reality check on how God’s Word is spread and how growth and change occurs. Evangelism: Broadcasting God’s Grace 7 GEORGE WILLIAMSON, JR. How does a church reach out to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered communities who have been rejected by world and church? The Dual Ministries of Welcoming Churches 8 ROGER S. POWERS Welcoming churches are called both to a prophetic witness and to a pastoral ministry. PLANT MANY SEEDS Sowing Inclusive Love in the Rural Heartland 10 RUSSELL GRIMES AND COLE WILLIAMS Some folks sow inclusion by “planting” themselves in the midst of a community. Breaching a Wall of Silence in the South 12 RUTH JAECKEL A laywoman sows seeds of inclusion through her witness to southern clergy. Old Roots, New Branches: Cultivating Inclusion in Asian-American Churches 14 VAN DIXON Three California Asian-American churches take a welcoming stance based on their own cultural experiences and processes. Vol. 12 No. 3 Winter 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Winter 1997 3 Next Issue: Same-Sex Marriage Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dan Hooper, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Campus Ministries: Rich Soil 16 ANASTASIA HACOPIAN The campus is an arena where some students are taking the United Methodist potential to be progressive—and are running with it! Opened Doors—A Transsexual’s Experience 18 ASHLEY LYNN SUPER An Iowa church provides safe space, personal support, and an advocacy witness for transsexual persons in their midst. Sowing Inclusivity in the Moravian Church 19 MARY V. BORHEK Moravians are the “new kids on the block” in the evergrowing ecumenical welcoming movement in the United States and Canada. SUSTAIN THE SPIRIT Sowing Seeds of Hope 20 An ecumenical pride service, held at Grant Park- Aldersgate UMC in Atlanta, Georgia, plants seeds of hope. ASIDES Welcoming Program Diversity ... 6 ANN B. DAY Top Ten Reasons Why ............. 7 ALLEN V. HARRIS Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday ................................ 7 EDITOR A (Baker’s) Dozen Tips ............ 9 MEL WHITE What is MoSAIC?.................. 16 ANASTASIA HACOPIAN Transgender Advocacy in Iowa .................................. 18 TOUT & ANNA MARIE APPLEBY Faith’s Pastor Reflects ........... 18 MARSHA ACORD SELECTED RESOURCES 22 W&A PHOTO STORY 23 CHURCH PROFILES 24 MOVEMENT NEWS 26 WELCOMING LIST 27 4 Open Hands Most of us have experienced the universal Sunday School exercise of planting seeds in small cups and placing them on window sills, a lesson in how God makes things grow. We left, only to return the following Sundays to see if the seed had sprouted, generated one leaf, or possibly burst forth into a full-grown plant. Often, the seeds did not grow at the same rate—and a few never even sprouted. I remember returning a few times to find unmoved dark soil or the brittle remains of a dead stem. It did not matter whether the cause was a lack of water, faulty seeds, or an accidental spill; I was always devastated to arrive and discover nothingness or, worse yet, death and deterioration. Soil Conditions In the parable of the sower and the seed (Luke 8:4-15), Jesus compares the Word of God to seeds and communities of faith to fields. He reveals his deep connection to the earth by sharing his wisdom of why some seeds flourish, some struggle to continue on, and others die. This story is less about seeds and farmers and more about fields and their receptivity to kernels of potential fruit and life. In ancient Palestine, the field was plowed first with simple plows that barely scratched the surface. Sowers then walked across the broken ground with sacks of seeds, scattering the kernels by hand. Finally, with their simple plows, they again moved the soil over the seeds.1 Considering the planting process, it is easy to understand why many of the seeds never produced fruit for the harvest. As Jesus states, some fell on wellworn paths, only to be eaten by passing Envision the Harvest birds. Others fell on rocky soil and withered without water. Certain seeds rested among the weeds, only to be overcome and strangled. Thankfully, some fell on good soil and produced a hundred-fold. Ironically, Jesus is not speaking of a regular harvest; a ten-fold return would have been a good yield. Instead, he is proclaiming that the soil was so rich and fertile that the yields were unbelievable!2 From the warm, rich, and receptive soil comes a harvest far greater than ever expected. The workers gather what seems to be an endless source of fruit and abundance. From this harvest, all are fed, nourished, and strengthened. Jesus appears to be offering a reality- check to a faith community in need of clarity about how God’s liberating and empowering Word does—and does not— take hold and grow. It is not a story of easy solutions and how-to’s. Jesus is speaking candidly and honestly, providing a stronger foundation for future direction and vision. Naming the truth about our situation often helps us gain our bearings and reframe our efforts and work. As a child of farm life, I learned that knowing the exact location of weed patches and rocky areas resulted in additional work and care for those difficult places in the field. The best Sunday School teachers know where to place the cups for the best sunlight. They remember to water the seeds during the week before the children arrive the next Sunday. Church Conditions In his later explanation of the parable, Jesus reveals the true composition of good soil. Communities and persons who hear God’s word and “hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear By James Preston What does the parable of the sower say to us about the growing edges of the welcoming movement? Winter 1997 5 fruit with patient endurance” embody fertile ground (Luke 8:15, NRSV). Luke’s use of the Greek word, hypomene, for “patient” conveys a strong connection to endurance and perseverance. It represents people of faith who hold out in the face of extreme opposition and do not succumb like shallow-rooted folks.3 Faithfulness and persistence nurture and strengthen the seed so it can break through the barrier of the surface and bear bountiful yields. As planters in the welcoming movement, we are scattering seeds of inclusion in so many places. We scatter seeds in congregations and campus ministries which have never heard the message of welcoming gay men, lesbian women, and bisexual persons. We pitch kernels in new geographical regions and in communities of faith representing different cultures. We frequently have to re-seed fields where the welcoming message was sown before. After the planting, we wait. We often approach the furrows and flower boxes of our work only to find less than fertile earth. Like the seed in the parable, the message of welcome for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people can come to rest in indifferent or hostile environments. Naming the soil-conditions and realities of those congregations, campus ministries, and judicatory bodies— like Jesus named the various soils of the parable— may help us identify new directions and possibilities for our welcoming work. In some places, the word of welcome is just ignored, explained away, or denied. The seed is prevented from taking root; it is thrown out as irrelevant. Comments include: This issue is not our issue! Why do we need to do this? The church is already welcoming! Often, individuals and communities of faith are hardened like well-worn paths, unable to embrace the word and receive joy and grace. In other places, the welcoming message falls upon the ears of folks who take immediate action without intentional plan. With excitement and enthusiasm, they make quick plans and begin work. Yet, when the first sign of opposition, confusion, or difficulty surfaces, the effort withers and fades. This process is just too hard and requires too much. I don’t Differences and trials are named upfront. Folks are open to the Spirit’s guidance. Impurities and stones still can be found in this soil; it is not a perfect garden where all people are alike or of one mind. Yet, the rich diversity, blended with a sense of openness and care, makes this dirt a setting for abundant harvest. Instead of blind urgency or easy surrender, this group embraces God’s call and prepares to endure with patience as they face the new frontiers of the welcoming process. Faithful Perseverance In actuality, we rarely scatter seeds in plots containing only dark, rich soil. We are more frequently sowing in the broad, diverse fields of congregations, campus ministries, and denominational bodies. Various soil conditions exist throughout the terrain of the church, just as they do on most farms. Knowing those varying situations across the field can be helpful. We may be able to want to create any conflict; there’s no place for it in the church. The seed does not become rooted in the underground stream of conviction and calling that is connected to God’s justice. In certain situations, the welcoming process finds itself among aggressive weeds which intentionally sabotage the journey of education and discernment with anger, threats, and occasional misinformation. Our church will close if we even talk about this stuff. We will not fund the campus ministry anymore if this happens. A sense of danger and threat may exist in varying degrees, but honesty and hospitality are difficult to find. Those working for a greater sense of openness feel choked-out by the meanspiritedness and hostility. However, some seeds fall upon good soil. That ground warmly receives the message to welcome all of God’s children. People study, pray, and struggle together as they determine a vision and direction for themselves and the congregation of which they are a part. “A sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell on the path and was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered for lack of moisture. Some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew with it and choked it. Some fell into good soil, and when it grew, it produced a hundred-fold.” —Luke 8:4-8 NRSV more ➟ 6 Open Hands WELCOMING PROGRAM DIVERSITY Do you think all “welcoming congregations” are alike in terms of membership and location? Not so! Here is a sampling of our diversity. SETTING Rural Bethel Congregational, UCC, White Salmon, WA (ONA) Craryville United Methodist, Craryville, NY (RCP) White Bear Unitarian Universalist, Mahtomedi, MN (WEL) Suburban Oak Park Mennonite, Oak Park, IL (SUP) St. Andrews Christian, Olathe, KS (O&A) Trinity Lutheran, Lansdale, PA (RIC) Inner City Madison Avenue Baptist, New York, NY (W&A) Reformation Lutheran, Washington, DC (RIC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian, San Francisco, CA (ML) GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION Northeast First United Methodist, Oneonta, NY (RCP) Mennonite Congregation of Boston, MA (SUP) Somesville Union Meeting House, Mt. Desert, ME (ONA) Southeast Clifton Presbyterian, Atlanta, GA (ML) Pullen Memorial Baptist, Raleigh, NC (W&A) Unitarian Universalist of Chattanooga, TN (WEL) Northwest Anchorage Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, AK (WEL) Portland Peace Church of the Brethren, Portland, OR (SUP) University Congregational, Seattle, WA (ONA) Southwest Christ Lutheran, Santa Fe, NM (RIC) Midway Hills Christian, Dallas, TX (O&A) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC, Tucson, AZ (RCP) Midwest Central Congregational UCC, Topeka, KS (ONA) Judson Memorial Baptist, Minneapolis, MN (W&A) Mt. Auburn Presbyterian, Cincinnati, OH (ML) ETHNIC/CULTURAL MAKEUP Fellowship United Methodist, Vallejo, CA, Filipino-American (RCP) Pine United Methodist, San Francisco, CA, Japanese-American (RCP) St. Mark’s United Methodist, Stockton, CA, Chinese/Multicultural (RCP) University Church, Chicago, IL, Multicultural (O&A, ONA) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Campus Christian Community (Mary Washington College), Fredericksburg, VA (RCP–ecumenical) Illinois Disciples Foundation (University of Chicago), Champaign, IL (O&A– denominational) United Campus Ministry (Ohio University), Athens, OH (W&A, RCP– ecumenical) —Compiled by Ann B. Day (ONA) KEY ML More Light (Presbyterian, USA) ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) O&A Open & Affirming (Christian Church - Disciples) RCP Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist) RIC Reconciled in Christ (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) SUP Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite) W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) WEL Welcoming Congregations (Unitarian Universalist) remove the weeds, provide water, and break hardened ground. More importantly, we can be assured that good soil exists there as well. It may need to be tilled, reworked, and spread into less than fertile places, but it is there, ready to receive God’s call to be a truly inclusive church. The good soil consists of people convicted and called to include gay men, lesbian women, and bisexual persons in the full life of the church. “Good-soil” folks are committed to faithful perseverance in spite of weeds, rocks, and hard-packed surfaces. As the new millennium approaches, welcoming congregations, campus ministries, and other groups are still being called to scatter seeds of inclusion in well-known fields and in undeveloped lands. God asks us to embrace the message of hospitality with an honest and good heart and to bear fruit with patient endurance. Our work and ministry will bear fruit; for I know the day will come when no children of God will go to the window sill to discover a dead stem. Instead, all will find abundant life! ▼ Notes 1Frederick W. Danker, Jesus and the New Age: A Commentary on St. Luke’s Gospel, (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1988), p. 176. 2Robert A. Spivey & D. Moody Smith, Anatomy of the New Testament: A Guide to Its Structure and Meaning, (New York: Macmillan, 1982), p. 228. 3Danker, p. 177. James Preston, a United Methodist pastor, is outreach coordinator for the Reconciling Congregation Program. He is a co-author of We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays (Westminster/ John Knox). Winter 1997 7 The church’s engagement with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people ought to be a matter of evangelism. However, this will almost certainly result in a shedding of an old, dried-out skin that has encased the soul of evangelism— and an emerging of a renewed, clean vision of it. Evangelism is not “soul winning,” the vanquishing or competitive victory over the individual’s inwardness. It is, rather, the mutual discovery, among people with different experiences of the gospel, of the breakthrough of God in history. Evangelism begins with listening. Jesus asked the blind beggar, Bartemaeus, “What do you want me to do?” (Mark 10:51, NRSV). In these post-Crusade, post-pogrom, post-Holocaust days, Christians do not have the right to inflict their faith, their judgment, or their perception of God’s promise upon any lesbian, gay man, bisexual, or transgender person. Precisely, as Christians, we bear the history of persecution and damnation for these people. Until we have asked about, and listened to, their experience of us and their particular need, there is nothing we can say with integrity. Having listened, we continue evangelism with confession. “Silver and gold have I none...” said Peter to the man who asked for financial assistance (Acts 3:6, KJV). Whatever the particular need a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person might reveal to us, we don’t have what they need. If our listening is authentic, we will be stricken with this inescapable awareness. Specifically, the affirmation needed in the face of Christian rejection is inherently paternalistic— coming from us. What is needed is inclusion, which can only be offered as inclusion into a world pre-structured with “straightist” priorities and sensibilities. The good news needed is news that our own homophobia has disappeared. Having confessed the poverty of our resources, we go on to risk the offer. Peter continued his response to the man: “...but such as I have, give I to thee.” This is an offer that will probably be rejected. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people have no reason to trust a Christian. Our offer therefore needs to be a standing offer, a blank check, an IOU that may or may not be cashed in. The offer needs to be cast on the waters and left thereafter to God. And make no mistake, all that we Christians have to offer anyone is the grace of God—which is given to, not won by, us. To engage in evangelism means to stand with the rejected community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, putting ourselves at risk before the mean world and, especially, before the mean church of the world. In the end, engaging in evangelism means to wait, to be ready. God will break through. On this we can rely. The breakthrough of God will come to us all. It will transform all of us— gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight people—together. Evangelism is needed wherever people are alienated from God. In our time, whatever else this means, evangelism means invoking the gospel wherever there is homophobia among straight people and wherever gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people experience persecution. If a Christian church does not effectively confront and seek healing for its own homophobia and offer what it has in the face of oppression of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, it is not engaged in evangelism.▼ George Williamson, Jr., Ph.D., is pastor of First Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio. First Baptist was the first church in the history of the American Baptist Churches, USA, to be disfellowshipped for standing with the gay and lesbian community. TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOUR CONGREGATION SHOULD BECOME WELCOMING... 10. Finally your church softball team will have a winning season! 9. You will NEVER have to worry about flower arrangements behind the communion table again! 8. Your congregation will have a new sense of honesty in all that you do. 7. Your organist will thank you. 6. You will have the distinct joy of being a safer place for mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles of lesbians and gay men who never before could tell anyone their “secret.” 5. Your pastor will be able to ask someone that nagging question she’s had for years: Does her flaxen alb go better with her fall wardrobe or her winter wardrobe? 4. Your community will share in some of the most incredible stories of pain and triumph, passion and perseverance. 3. You’ll get to march in a parade and wear bright colors! 2. People will come to your church because they want to be a part of a community which is willing both to proclaim justice and to live justice. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY YOUR CHURCH SHOULD BECOME WELCOMING: 1. It’s the work of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! —Allen V. Harris Source This list was first published in Cross Links, a publication of the O&A Ministries Program (October 1996), p. 2. Used with permission. Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday For the past several years, ecumenical leaders of the welcoming movement have designated the last Sunday in January as “Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday.” On 26 January 1997, local congregations and campus ministries in nine denominations were invited to celebrate in worship the work that their communities have done to welcome lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and to thank God for the gifts and graces of being an inclusive community. Several of the national welcoming programs prepare liturgical resource packets each fall to provide ideas for local worship preparations. If your welcoming group has not participated in Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday, we invite you to plan to do so in 1998. —Editor By George Williamson, Jr. 8 Open Hands Today, we join with churches across the country in celebrating the growing witness of the welcoming churches movement—those congregations that publicly welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons into full membership and participation in the life of their churches….1 As most of you know, Church of the Covenant counts itself among these welcoming churches. Our church was one of the first Presbyterian congregations in the country to declare itself a More Light church, doing so almost fifteen years ago in September of 1980. Until recently, we were the only More Light Presbyterian church in the state of Massachusetts. Our church was also one of the first United Church of Christ congregations in the nation, and the first in the Massachusetts Conference, to declare itself an Open and Affirming UCC church. And so it seems only appropriate, given the leading role that our church has played in the past, to lift up today the witness of the more than 700 local churches in the welcoming churches movement…. You’re Welcome, But… Presbyterian theologian Robert McAfee Brown has said that to open the doors of church membership to gays and lesbians but not to allow them to hold office is “unjust, un-Christian, unbiblical, and very bad theology.” It relegates gay and lesbian Christians to the status of second-class citizens in the church. In response, [welcoming] churches proclaim their intention to welcome all persons into the life, membership, and leadership of their congregations regardless of sexual orientation…. We are very much in the minority. The Holy Spirit is moving in the world, but most of the church is being dragged along behind, kicking and screaming. Most churches still are afraid to discuss the subject of sexuality, not to mention homosexuality, and are even less apt to publicly welcome gay and lesbian Christians into their midst. Most churches today might as well have a sign over their doors saying “For Heterosexuals Only.” Oh sure, there are many churches who claim to welcome all people, but there is a subtext in their welcome. You are welcome, but if you’re gay, you can’t be ordained to a leadership role in our church. You’re welcome, but we will encourage you to repent of your “lifestyle.” You’re welcome, as long as you’re celibate. You’re welcome, but don’t ask us to bless your union with someone of the same sex. You’re welcome, and you’ll be glad to know that we have a counseling program that can cure you. You’re welcome, but please don’t come out of the closet; we don’t really want to know who you are. Many gay and lesbian Christians know this all too well from personal experience and, as a result, feel terribly alienated and ostracized by the church. Thank God for welcoming churches like Covenant. To be homosexual in a homophobic and heterosexist society is hard enough. But to also be a person of faith and have no faith community where you feel loved and accepted and where you can be yourself is a tragedy. Welcoming churches are oases of living water for gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians who have wandered through a desert of homophobic churches…. The Real Sin Many in the religious community will say that of course we are to love everyone just as God loves us. We are to love the sinner, but hate the sin. Well, it’s time we said in a loud and clear voice, and without reservation, that homosexuality is not a sin! On the contrary, sexuality, of whatever kind, is a beautiful gift from God and it should be celebrated. What is a sin is the oppression of people based on their sexuality. The sin of heterosexism is alive and well in America. That is what the religious community and our society as a whole need to repent of. The sin of heterosexism causes a great deal of injury, pain, and heartache for gay men and lesbians: � the tremendous anxiety over whether they will be accepted and loved if they decide to come out to parents and other family members; � the terrible feelings of loss after coming out to a parent or family member and not being accepted; � having to choose between those you love during the holidays, whether to spend them with your partner or with your family on your own; � not being able to express affection for a loved one in public, without risking verbal harassment or even physical attack; � having to weigh the risk of coming out to colleagues at work, and the possible consequences that might entail; � always being careful not to inadvertently out your friends; � constantly having to put up with or fight against society’s assumption that you are heterosexual, and that if you are in a relationship, your partner is of the opposite sex. It’s a tough world out there. That is why the commitment of Covenant to welcome all people is so important. There are too few places where we can find a community of love and support, source of healing and strength, and a place where we can be inspired and challenged to work for God’s justice and peace in the world. Excerpts from a Sermon Preached 29 January 1995 Based on Jeremiah 1:4-10 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 By Roger S. Powers Winter 1997 9 Prophetic and Pastoral Ministries …Ours is a prophetic witness. Like Jeremiah, we are called by God “to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.” We are called “to break down” the walls of homophobia in our hearts and in those of our neighbors, “to destroy and to overthrow” the oppressive attitudes and structures of heterosexism in the church and in society, “to build and to plant” the seeds of a new society in which all people are treated with justice and love regardless of sexual orientation. Heterosexual Christians have a special role to play as allies in this struggle, particularly within denominations that deny gay and lesbian members ordination to leadership positions in the church. In many church meetings, gay and lesbian voices are excluded…either [because they are] forced to be closeted or…because they have not been ordained to leadership positions in the church. Therefore, I believe heterosexual allies have a responsibility to speak out against homophobia and heterosexism in the church and in society, especially in those forums where gay and lesbian voices have been excluded or silenced. Like the abolitionists of the nineteenth century who fought against slavery, like the suffragists who fought for the rights of women, and like the African- American churches that fought for civil rights, we are fighting today for gay rights, and with God’s help we, too, shall overcome. Ours is also a pastoral calling, for the Christian community is deeply divided over this issue. On the one hand, the church has been the source of tremendous pain and sadness for gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians and their allies. We have a special responsibility to care for the wounded who come through Covenant’s doors seeking healing, comfort, love, and acceptance. On the other hand, the Christian community is also full of people whose homophobia has hardened their hearts. We have a responsibility to speak the truth to them, but to do so with love and compassion in ways that they can hear us and not simply reject us out of hand. For ministry to be whole, I am convinced, these two components— the prophetic and the pastoral— though sometimes in tension, must be held in balance. And it is the love of God operating in the human heart that is at the root of both of them. It is our love for all people that leads us to our prophetic witness as a More Light/Open and Affirming church. And it is love that motivates our pastoral concern for people on both sides of a divided church community. A love that is patient and kind. A love that is not jealous or boastful, arrogant or rude. A love that does not insist on its own way, and is not irritable or resentful. A love that does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. A love that fears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things….▼ A (Baker’s) Dozen Tips for Reaching the Loving Middle By Mel White 1. We don’t have enemies (of inclusivity). We have potential friends. (Remember Saul of Tarsus, just waiting for the light.) 2. Write out your list of potential friends and pray for them. (God may need to work on you before you begin to work on them.) 3. Our potential friends are simply victims of misinformation. (Give them a break. We were once victims of the same untruths.) 4. Bring them the truth, in love, relentlessly. (The “soul force” solution of Gandhi and King.) 5. Ask your potential friends to share their views and experiences. (By listening, we learn the cause of their fears and help to alleviate them.) 6. If you are lesbian or gay, come out every chance you get. (“Hi, I’m Donna and I’m a Lesbyterian...”) 7. If you are lesbigay friendly, come out every chance you get. (“Hi, I’m Donna and I love God’s gay and lesbian children. Don’t you?”) 8. Carry copies of your favorite supportive brochure. (Example: The APA’s Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation.) 9. Pass out copies to your potential friends like business cards or Halloween treats. (“Take this brochure. There will be a test.”) 10. Subscribe to Open Hands for every one on your potential friend list. (“I didn’t know it was about gays! I thought it was about gardening.”) 11. Invite your potential friends over to meet your favorite lesbigay neighbors. (“Guess who’s coming to dinner!”) 12. Take potential friends to lesbigay concerts, welcoming services, Pride events. (“Surprise!”) 13. Give them a copy of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. (They get the message. And I get seventy-five cents. What a deal.) Mel White, former ghostwriter for leaders of the religious right, is national justice minister for the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. Source This article is excerpted from a sermon published in More Light Update (April 1995), pp. 1-5. Subtitles added. P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. Excerpted with permission of author. Note 1At this point in the sermon, Powers named the denominational welcoming programs and the numbers of welcoming churches. As of January 1997, there are 735 welcoming churches in the United States and Canada. See p. 27. Roger S. Powers is an elder of the Church of the Covenant in Boston. He is an M.Div. student at Andover Newton Theological School and serves on the National Commit- Photo: Peter Klotz-Chamberlain tee of the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship. 10 Open Hands Rural Gay Realities We now live in Effingham, Illinois, a rural community with a population of just over 12,000. It is located two hours east of St. Louis, two hours west of Indianapolis, and four hours south of Chicago. In a nut shell, we live in the heart of rural America— and we love it. When we moved here four years ago, we knew no one in the community and had no connections to any support group. We have never hidden our relationship, but do not go out of our way to make an issue of our gayness. Both of our cars have Christian and gay symbols on them and we both wear earrings. Other than that, we are typical middleaged human beings. Our goal is to have people get to know us as honest, caring, Christian individuals. We have found that, when we develop friendships and working relationships on that level, our being gay becomes unimportant. Most people “figure it out” or a need arises for us to come out. When that happens, our being gay becomes a non-issue. We live in a neighborhood that is entirely made up of families and older couples. We do yard work together, eat out as a couple, and do other daily activities— just as any other married couple. We overhear negative remarks occasionally and we know that we are not accepted by all with whom we come Plant Many Seeds We have been a couple for nine years. We met at Faith Eternal Metropolitan Community Church in Springfield, Illinois. In 1989, we were united in Holy Union at Faith Eternal. We both come from a “church” background and the basis of our relationship is our Christian faith. Church attendance and spiritual growth are very important to us. Cole is an ordained elder in the Presbyterian church and Russell was active in the United Methodist Church. We feel God answered our individual prayers by bringing us together. God’s hand is still very evident in our daily living as a couple. Russ is fifty-seven years old and was married for twentyfive years. He has two married sons and five grandchildren. His younger son has severed their relationship and will not allow Russ to have contact with his four grandchildren because Russ proclaims to be gay and Christian. His son says he could accept him if Russ would confess he can not be a Christian and gay. However, his other son and his wife are accepting of Russell’s sexual orientation and allow Russ to visit and spoil his granddaughter. Cole is forty-six and was married for fifteen years. He has a very close relationship with his married daughter. When we moved in together, Cole had custody of his then sixteen-yearold daughter. She refers to Russ as her stepdad. By Russell Grimes and Cole Williams Winter 1997 11 into contact. However, on the whole, people understand that we are a couple and accept that as a fact. They also understand that our gayness tells a small part of the story of who we are. It is not the definition of who we are, but is one part of how God has created us and, we believe, brought us together as a couple. Finding a Church Home Shortly after we moved to Effingham, we began attending the largest church in town, which had been recommended to us. We joined that church a few months later. Before making the decision to join the church, we told the assistant pastor that we were a couple and needed a church that could minister to us as a couple. We were told this was not a problem. We talked a great deal with the assistant pastor and felt he was ready to minister to us as a Christian couple. After about six months it became evident that we were not being included in many of the activities that made up the life of this church. We were turned away when we offered any time or talents to the church. It was time to look for a new church home. Cole suggested we visit the Presbyterian church in town. That week the minister came to our home to visit. We were very open about our relationship and our church needs as a family. The minister was more than taken aback. He did not try to hide the dilemma he was facing. The congregation was very mixed in age and in outlook. He explained that many members were very conservative and he was not sure how we would be accepted. He also said some of the congregation welcomed diversity but had never dealt with a gay couple. His open and frank discussion of the problems we might face was insightful. It opened the way for some in-depth discussion about our spiritual needs and our faith. The minister never made us feel unwelcome, but he did show he was realistic about what gay couples face whenever they step into the “mainstream” of small town America. Reverend Holloway was supportive, open, a little frightened, and very willing to minister to our family. His heartfelt concerns never made us wonder about his support. Rather, they made us feel he understood the issues we face on a daily basis. We are now members of the church. Cole taught Vacation Bible School this summer. When the minister asked the coordinator if she realized we were gay and if that made a difference, her answer was “yes, I am aware of that fact, but why would that matter?” We also attend the monthly couples’ dinner club and participate in other activities in the church. We feel very included and have been able to continue to grow as Christians in our new church home. When one of us is not able to attend church, people ask if we are ill or if there is a problem. Being Visible Seeds As a couple, we have made many friends of all ages in the church and community. We feel accepted and loved. There is not a great deal of conversation about our being a gay couple. However, we know that our presence has opened some minds. Our visibility puts a face to an often invisible segment of the population of our little community. Rural communities do not lend themselves to living on the sidelines. It is very hard to disappear into the crowd and not be noticed. You can isolate yourself, but the community still knows you are there. We like knowing our neighbors and being involved in the life of the community. We have taken our time to be accepted and enjoy the feeling of community and the pace of living in a rural area. True Christians show God’s inclusive love when they are given the opportunity. This opportunity can not come from demands or threats. It comes only when people see God’s light shining in your life. Our goal is to live as a couple in a community that we enjoy. We can not force people to accept us. However, we can guide them to see us as individuals and as members of the family of God. We believe we are planting the seed of God’s inclusive love in this small community just by being who we are— a Christian gay couple. ▼ Russell Grimes (right) ended his twentyfive- year career managing public entertainment and convention centers to stay home to care for his ninety-twoyear- old aunt who lives in Cole and Russell’s home. Cole Williams, who taught for sixteen years, now works for the Illinois Education Association, an affiliate of NEA. They are members of First Presbyterian Church in Effingham, Illinois. 12 Open Hands Going Public I have distributed the above position statement (with some updating) since August 1995. Why did I go public? Friends lost their son to AIDS. They grieve in self-imposed isolation. Their anger due to the associated stigma is barely repressed. The son and his mother and dad loved one another dearly, but he died without their sharing an important fact about his life. Now they never can. A tragedy compounded! He died feeling their disapproval of any sexual orientation other than their own. It’s as if in all creation, in this single aspect of life, there is not diversity as in all others. Prior to my commitment to being open and looking for a support group, I talked to a pastor. He responded, “I am sorry. There are some families affected in this church, too.” However, no introduction was forthcoming. Couldn’t be! Everyone is closeted about homosexuality— including ministers. All that is heard is the loud condemnation from the religious and political right and from their gay bashing mimics. What accounts for this passive silence from those who should be speaking out clearly for the marginalized, the beleaguered? “You will know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:20 NRSV). The church went on with its building program. As we approach the year 2000, this most enlightened nation has ceased obeying biblical commands to chop off hands and pluck out eyes. However, we are still doing the equivalent of stoning people—we use high tech. As in the days of old, those who cast the stones claim the high ground in the mode of the prophet who called upon the bear to maul the children who were annoying him (2 Kings 2:24). The accusers’ open condemnation of homosexual persons has been tolerated partly because they have gained power through effective use of media to persuade and to focus fears. There is a connection, for instance, between the accusers’ message and the embarrassment— yea, rejection—of children by their parents. Ministers know horror stories about such breakdowns in family relationships. Among the related consequences of “high-tech stoning” is the fact that AIDS support systems are few and far between in north Mississippi. The overall lack of compassionate action is related to the attitude behind the “stoning” by print journalism and by TV and radio broadcasts from the right. I decided to “come forth” to break through the awful silence of shame that is without reasonable basis. Finding an Approach How could I become engaged in north Mississippi? Where, north of Jackson, is there a mentor, let alone a “free” support group? Is there one courageous church openly welcoming gay, bisexual, and lesbian persons? Is an interfaith system offering group sharing, perhaps through Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), a national organization with experience and expertise? Who is available for conflicted parents suffering cascades of anger and selfdoubt? “May I ask you a question?” The anxious mother of a seventeen-year-old lad wanted to know, “Do gays go to hell?” Who is reassuring such parents? By Ruth Jaeckel “As an act of love, I am coming out of the closet as a parent of a gay son. Years ago, when he was a baby, he was baptized by the church. In 1996, the United Methodist Church, considering the sacrament of baptism as a gift of divine grace, decided to confer full membership along with ‘further profound theological implications.’ To promote reconciliation and affirmation, I also am coming out in order to be visibly supportive of other parents and siblings of persons who are gay, bisexual, and lesbian. “Our family supported our son and his partner’s relationship. About the partner’s illness and death, another of our three sons noted that our attitude and concern should be the same as if it were his wife or our other daughter-in-law. We parents are as proud of our heterosexual sons as we are of our homosexual son. We accept and enjoy the diversity of their characteristics: hair and eye colors, heights, God-given talents. We thrive on the variety of their interests. We back their goals and share their pleasure in accomplishments. We are glad for the love and pride our family members have for each other.” Winter 1997 13 “The key is the active support and involvement of the pastor. The leadership of clergy is vital. Though other highranking members of congregations can provide leadership, they cannot replace clergy acceptance and support. When clergy speak from the pulpit about the issue in a neutral or positive way, congregants feel they can come forward, seek information or counseling, and voice concerns.” —Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN), New Orleans, LA With few official structures available, I began to talk with individuals: agency directors, editors, lay leaders, and, especially, ministers. I have chosen to approach churches of the denominations listed on the inside cover of Open Hands. Those denominations, the media report, are engaged in study of the issue of homosexuality. I phone ahead to ask for an appointment, telling the person that I wish to talk about homosexuality and AIDS. The first thing I do when I get to the appointment is to pull out of my “Mary Poppins” bag a few framed family pictures to “put a face on it.” Every gay person is a whole, unique, complicated, and real person. Every gay person has a family. In our family photo, everyone, including our son’s partner, is smiling. I leave a file, a heavy paper folder, with each minister. A tight elastic band keeps things from spilling out. The file includes a copy of my position statement; an issue of Open Hands; clippings about the denomination’s position and debate; sermons by William Sloan Coffin and Bishop John Spong; The Church Studies Homosexuality booklet for United Methodists; a chapter from James Nelson’s Embodiment; some basic PFLAG materials, including a Flagpole newspaper; and, sometimes, a copy of We Were Baptized Too, co-authored by James Preston, outreach coordinator of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Ministers’ Responses One minister reminded me of the United Methodist Discipline, the documented current perspective of official delegates to the quadrennial General Conference. He made a copy of the section about homosexuality. Since then, I include copies in the files I hand out. One minister seemed basically patronizing. Another closed our visit with a prayer. He said as I left that my visits with my expressions of concern might be more significant than I knew. One young minister apparently felt insecure counseling a mother grieving (he anticipated) over her son’s sexual orientation. He called in a counselor from an organization that meets regularly with homosexuals with the goal of changing their sexual orientation. The minister and counselor must have been surprised that this mother feels at ease about her son’s sexual integrity, that I am about the business of urging acceptance of each human being, no matter what their sexual orientation. The three of us had an honest, open, and civil “trialogue.” One minister showed keen interest in an Open Hands article about what churches can do to “take the next steps.” No minister showed ire. Only one minister has refused to make an appointment, stating that “Homosexuality is wrong and I have no time to discuss it.” The ministers are concerned about the issue, as I am, and seem to be glad to talk and to share their understanding and stories (while maintaining confidentiality) about hurts and griefs they “I believe, as does retired United Methodist Bishop Melvin E. Wheatley, Jr., that heterosexuality, quite like homosexuality, is neither a virtuous nor a sinful characteristic of one’s nature. Not just neutral, it is a mysterious gift of God’s grace. What I do with my heterosexuality— or others with their homosexuality or bisexuality—is a determinant of my personal, moral, and spiritual responsibility.” —Ruth Jaeckel know about. My purpose is grounded in accepting the challenge of discipleship in the manner of the Quaker John Woolman who put aside his tailoring at times to call upon other Friends in New Jersey and beyond to broach the subject of their freeing their slaves.1 Through my assertive openness, I am finding Mississippians who also want progress in this area. I am finding a network of kindred spirits with whom to work. A new friend, a Catholic priest from a nearby town, focuses on the status of homosexuality and the church and states the case succinctly: “I am aware of many gay and lesbian persons, most afraid to attend church even though they would like to. How can these children of God know God’s great love for them? How can families cope with the challenges surrounding them? How can anyone come forth? How can we breach the [wall of] silence—and find each other?” ▼ Note 1The Journal of John Wolman. Philadelphia: Friends Brookstore, n.d., ch. 8. Introduction by John G. Whittier, 1871. Ruth Jaeckel, a member of the First Unitarian Church, Memphis, Tennessee, lives in Tupelo, Mississippi. She attended Earlham College and graduated from the University of Iowa. PART OF THE JAECKEL FAMILY: Ruth’s husband Hank (center) works with Mississippi Rehab. Their son Karl enjoys square dancing and uses the activity as an aid in bridging communication between the gay and straight community. 14 Open Hands California has been the gateway to the American dream for millions of immigrants from the nations of the Pacific Rim. Today, Asian- American communities are an important component in the region’s diverse mix of peoples and cultures. To understand how their distinctive cultures and their immigrant experience influenced their decision to become welcoming congregations, I spoke to members of three primarily Asian-American United Methodist churches in Northern California that are also Reconciling Congregations. Tom Kawakami and Velma Yemoto are long-time members of Pine UMC, the first Japanese-American United Methodist Church in the country. Situated in San Francisco, Pine’s congregation is about 90 percent Japanese and draws some seventy-five worshipers each Sunday. An associated Japanesespeaking congregation has about thirty members. The church provides other services, including a Japanese-language nursery school, to the city’s Japanesespeaking community. Pine’s congregation is mostly older, as its young people tend to settle out of the city. However, a few young families have recently joined. Fellowship UMC of Vallejo was founded in 1941 to serve that city’s growing Filipino community. Today, Fellowship is a dynamic congregation, with over 250 members of all ages, from older adults to infants. Primarily a church of immigrants, Fellowship serves Filipino-Americans who are struggling to find their place in American society while maintaining their roots— especially the importance of the family—in traditional Filipino culture. Dante de Tablan, thirty-five years old and the father of two teenagers, has been a member of Fellowship since his arrival in the U.S. in 1979. Bill Hunt is a retired pastor and member of St. Mark’s UMC of Stockton. Forty years ago two churches, one Caucasian, the other Chinese-American, merged to form St. Mark’s. Many members— of both churches— left. Those who remained were determined to work together. Today, with about fifty members, St. Mark’s is proud of its multi-racial identity. The congregation is 50 percent Chinese-American, 20 percent Filipino- American, and the rest African-American, Caucasian, and Hispanic. Becoming RCs According to Tom Kawakami, Pine UMC followed a common model in deciding to become a Reconciling Congregation. They hosted a series of discussions and speakers over a six-month period. The discussions were organized by Velma Yemoto, who for many years has worked as a volunteer care-giver for Asian AIDS patients. Through a local gay Asian and Pacific Islander organization, Yemoto found Asian speakers to address the congregation. Gay and lesbian speakers discussed their experiences, their beliefs, and the importance of worship and Christian fellowship in their lives. “We found out they’re not much different from anybody else,” says Kawakami. Later, a panel of parents and their lesbian and gay offspring told of coming to terms with their children’s— or their own—homosexuality. The congregation had a number of younger gay and lesbian members, but they weren’t comfortable speaking in such a forum. “Japanese are kind of closed” about homosexuality, Yemoto explains. The outside speakers provided enough distance to make the discussion easier while maintaining an Asian perspective. At the end of six months, questionaires were sent to the members, and speakers were dispatched to explain the process to the Japanese-speaking congregation. No one raised objections, and Pine voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. Fellowship UMC became a Reconciling Congregation in 1995. The process began with a series of home meetings to discuss welcoming issues: What is the Reconciling Congregation Program and what does it mean to become an RC? What does the Bible say about homosexuality? About welcoming? Members formed a task force and met for nearly a year before presenting their proposal to the church’s administrative council. It passed with a single dissenting vote. The key to success was a strategy of working with the families, with strong support from the pastor, Dr. Tony Ubalde. Before their presentation to the council, members of the task force approached families to ask for their support. De Tablan observes: “For Filipinos, homosexuality is a very hard thing to talk about. The quiet, family-to-family approach saves faces, and allows for discussion and understanding.” Members of Fellowship UMC feel free to bring their friends and lovers to worship. The message of inclusion is reinforced from the pulpit and by the banners and signs that adorn the walls of the church. “This is a hate-free zone,” says one sign. A rainbow banner proclaims, “Called to serve.” As de Tablan says, “We are fighting for ourselves and our children. How are we going to view ourselves? How are we going to view others?” Like Velma Yemoto, Bill Hunt became interested in reconciling issues in response to the AIDS epidemic. For several years, Hunt and his wife Ella Marie have been leading a support group for AIDS care-givers. Hunt has given messages at vigils and provided counseling at an HIV testing site. While helping to lead worship at St. Mark’s, he began to By Van Dixon Winter 1997 15 Parallels Between Racism and Heterosexism While “heterosexism” has not yet entered the common lexicon of these churches, “prejudice” and “discrimination” certainly have. All three churches see their reconciling ministries as reflections of their work in racial minority communities. This was certainly the case for St. Mark’s UMC. Bill Hunt describes St. Mark’s as “a very interracial church. They believe in that strongly, because they believe that’s the way all churches ought to be: open to everyone.” Their old roots in anti-racism work are sprouting new branches. Lessons for Other Churches of Color Dante de Tablan warns against assuming that there is a single path to becoming a welcoming congregation. “Don’t fall into the standard model,” he says, “of study, study, study. The study model may be a predominantly white approach not appropriate for other cultures. Use the traditions of your own culture as a basis for beginning the discussion.” In Filipino culture, the family is the basic social unit, so a familyto- family approach proved successful at Fellowship UMC. If the study model is employed, says Tom Kawakami, be sure that outside experts are people to whom the congregation can relate. “It helped that the speakers and folks on the panels were Asian. Since the congregation is getting older, it was helpful when the parents of gays came. Their experiences alleviated a lot of fears.” Be sure to provide a safe space for questions, even the “gossipy type,” and respect the needs of others to remain silent. If helping a traditionally ethnic or multiracial congregation become more welcoming seems a daunting prospect, take heart. As de Tablan reminds us, the process has already begun. In their discussions with individuals and families, the reconciling task force at Fellowship UMC found that “people had been thinking about this. People had been suffering silently. They had gay family members, or relatives who are sick with AIDS.” One couple whom de Tablan invited to join the task force had a gay son, but hadn’t felt able to tell anyone about him before. Also, the necessary leaders may well be among you. All three congregations had people like Velma Yemoto and Bill Hunt, who had worked for years with people with AIDS and their care-givers or were otherwise involved in the gay community. The trick, then, is in identifying the leaders and other resources in your midst, tapping into your own cultural traditions and modes of discourse, and opening yourself to the gifts that the Spirit provides. ▼ Van Dixon, a former Open Hands editorial assistant, is an astronomer at the University of California and a member of Trinity UMC, an RC in Berkeley, California. TOM KAWAKAMI and VELMA YEMOTO helped their church, Pine UMC in San Francisco, become an RC. share stories from his AIDS work during the weekly announcement period. Two years ago, at St. Mark’s charge conference (an annual congregational meeting), he reported on his work with AIDS care-givers. Noting that many of them were gay or lesbian and in need of a supportive faith community, Hunt concluded, “It would be nice if they had a church where they could feel welcome.” One of the church’s Chinese-American members responded, “We’re open to everyone, so we should be open to these people, too.” The district superintendent suggested a study series on reconciling issues, but St. Mark’s folks said, “Bill and Ella Marie have been educating us for two years!” St. Mark’s became a Reconciling Congregation that very day, for “humanitarian reasons, out of love and concern, without arguing over scriptural issues.” BILL and ELLA MARIE HUNT’s educational steps led to an easy choice for St. Mark’s UMC in Stockton DANTE de TABLAN participated in a quiet family approach to decision making at Fellowship UMC in Vallejo. 16 Open Hands Inclusion is a concept that does not stand isolated. It springs from inherent, deep-rooted, human response. The seed of inclusion must be sown if it is to appear in a place where it was previously absent. An inclusive response is attached to long strings that have their source in the human heart— cultivated to produce a real, natural, just invitation. Without the cultivation that presents it as an embrace, the response is only tolerance. The reconciling movement has reacted with love to an unloving community. The grass roots movement can pinpoint tactile evidence of injustice in the written word of the United Methodist Book of Discipline. However, the reconciling movement has not answered with the more common political urgency to have wording changed, as much as it has responded with the inner workings of love-activists among the people. The movement knows that once seeds have been sown, people can grow into living agents of change. The student movement among United Methodist communities is ripe; it is rich soil. Now is a very exciting and dynamic place and time to be a student in the United Methodist church. God has been sowing some seeds of welcome through campuses. The growing edges of our student movement are pulsating What is MoSAIC? MoSAIC (Methodist Students for All-Inclusive Church) began at breakfast on the last morning of the United Methodist Student Forum in Oklahoma City in May 1996. This budding student network of reconciling United Methodists developed as a response to a defeated Forum vote to urge the United Methodist General Conference to strike homophobic language from the Book of Discipline. For more information, contact RCP at 773/736-5526 or see the home page at http:// www.tde.com/nopendoor.MoSAIC.htm. —Anastasia Hacopian because here are places where things have been picking up and taking off. Why? Well, remember being twenty? Remember being on the threshold of “the beginning of the rest of your life?” What a cosmic carpet one stands on at that threshold! In a college or university environment, we have opportunities to stretch our minds and challenge them to become slightly larger—to make room to chew on the rush of intellectual ideas that come up in classrooms or coffee shops. And what about the experiences of human relationships that develop, coupled with a student’s newfound independence? All of the above guarantee the academic era to be a ripe place for growth. Students, who put themselves (or who may have been put) in a church or campus ministry group in their college environment, also have before them the dynamic promise of spiritual growth opportunity, should they consent to give that opportunity a chance. In the last two and a half years at the University of California at Berkeley, I have said “yes” to two or three United Methodist retreats, conferences, or meetings per semester. There have also been countless work days, outings, Bible studies, coffee hours, projects, meals, conversations. All of these experiences, national and municipal, have cultivated me. At national conferences, I have met United Methodists who are not prochoice, do not know the word “reconciling”, and—more amazing to me—do not favor the ordination of women. But I have met people like me—who, for the first time, meet Methodists who are not “pro-life”, who use inclusive language, who use the word “reconciling.” At minimum, mutual exposure of both kinds is guaranteed. Possibly, respectful dialogue takes place. At best, seeds like that of inclusion are sown. Even if students do not say “yes” to national conferences, they are embraced, hopefully, by their campus ministry community for a time. At minimum, the seed of relationship with God or with peers, or both, is planted. At best, the individual can be a free thinker in a university space and simultaneously embrace faith and spirituality. Through relationships tied together by communities of faith, love can be learned, and non-academic, less secular, rewards affirmed. Here we are, nearing the millennium. In 1997, the word “radical” has exciting, varied, interesting connotations within the Christian church. The United Methodist Church is blessed with an identity and tradition that grants it the potential to be progressive. Some students are taking this potential, calling it empowerment, and are running with it. There is no alternative reality. How can there be? We are living in radical times, churches aside. Social justice issues permeate all venues of “churchless” society. If the church cannot be first to embrace and run with opportunities for social justice, what have we woefully done? Which God are we saying we acknowledge? Whose radical example are we not remembering? By Anastasia Hacopian Winter 1997 17 Sisters and brothers, I encourage you to turn your gaze upon campuses and students. The student experience is rich soil; young adults on the threshold of the rest of their lives are asking, struggling, embracing, weeping, suffering, celebrating. Help us to sow our seeds of love and inclusion now as we stand here on these pulsating edges, empowered with opportunity. ▼ Anastasia Hacopian is a twenty-year-old junior majoring in German at the University of California-Berkeley. In February, she joined the board of directors of the Reconciling Congregation Board. She is co-secretary with RCP student outreach intern Trey Hall for MoSAIC (Methodist Students for All- Inclusive Church). 14th Annual Presbyterian More Light Conference Never Turning Back May 23-25, 1997 • Portland, Oregon Keynote Speaker: Rev. Dr. James Forbes, Jr. Senior Pastor, Riverside Church, New York City One of the 12 “most effective preachers” in the English-speaking world. —Newsweek Workshops/Displays same gender marriage, ex-gay ministries, lesbians and gay men in seminaries, rural and metro area ecumenical cooperation, connections between gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender struggles and issues of racism and immigration For more information and registration form Dick Hasbany • 4025 Dillard Road • Eugene, OR 97405 • 541/345-4720 Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise 18 Open Hands I had just started a new management position in a new town, and was totally alone. The accounting manager, Barb, was an open lesbian. I was immediately encouraged that maybe this small company could accept me as I really am. Barb explained how her holy union had been performed by a local United Methodist minister of a church that was called “reconciling.” She invited me to attend service there. She assured me that they would accept me. They probably had never met a crossdresser before, much less a transsexual. I hadn’t been to church in years. Did I dare go? I wouldn’t know anyone else. Would I be shunned? Would people stare? Would they tell me to leave? Would they laugh? Would someone call the cops? Would my new boss find out and fire me? Does God care? Was this church called Faith United Methodist for real? I had nothing left to lose but my faith in God. Would God abandon me too, just for trying to be myself? It is emotionally hard now for me to remember how life was before I found Faith United Methodist Church. What was worst was being afraid to talk about my feelings with anyone, feeling sick and being alone. Faith UMC opened its doors, not only for me to worship God, but also for a new support and advocacy group for local transsexuals. On 9 April 1996, eighteen people met to discuss the special needs they have as full-time transitioning transsexuals in a trembling, unsympathetic world. There were many different kinds of people, from all ages and backgrounds, plus the spirits of those who could not be there, and wanted to. Some had been living life not knowing any other transsexual. Feeling alone and frightened, they met others like themselves and learned that there are people who care. That night, a couple of people went to a church, who had vowed never to go to a church again after experiencing intolerance from churches in the past. They discovered that there is at least one church that does follow the true message of Jesus. They joined with others in love, trust, and safety, to give their little group a name: Transsexual OUTreach (TOUT). TOUT’s mission—to tout our worth to ourselves and to society— is based on the principle of “what ought to be, can be.” However, opening doors isn’t about gays or transsexuals. It’s about our relationship with God— a relationship that rejects fear, hate, and distrust, and embraces becoming more aware about the world around us and all the people in it. It’s about knowing how to judge by deeds. It’s about nurturing an environment for good deeds to happen. A closed door is a closed door on oneself to all of God’s beauty in the people God created in his/her image. Be not afraid to open your door. ▼ 31 May 1996 —With Ashley and Rev. Marsha Acord at her side, Anna Marie Appleby spoke to the Des Moines School Board. Anna is director of MAGGIE (Mid-America Gender Group Information Exchange). This action, done on behalf of Iowa Artistry (a local support group for transgendered people) and MAGGIE, was to fight a proposed new discrimination policy against the TG (transgender) community. The proposed policy had language that lumped TGs together with a long list of criminal behaviors. The proposal was successfully defeated. Ashley Lynn Super (left) resigned her management job at the end of 1996 and is pursuing a career in human service. She is active with TOUT and at Faith United Methodist Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where Marsha Acord (right) serves as pastor. By Ashley Lynn Super Transgender Advocacy in Iowa Faith’s Pastor Reflects Two transsexual members of Faith United Methodist Church identified the need for personal support and advocacy for transsexual persons in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. There is little awareness about gender identity issues or even the existence of transsexuals in this midwestern community of 100,000 people. Faith Church responded because of friendship, trust, and support of these two members. People of Faith UMC had learned that isolation is the most critical factor in the lives of persons who are transsexual—isolation from family, in the workplace, by their churches, and from each other. Faith UMC provides a safe and accepting place for transsexual persons who are breaking down the barriers of isolation. —Rev. Marsha Acord 5 June 1996 — Ashley and Anna gave a presentation on transgenderism to Foundation II’s Crisis Hot Line network training session. 19 June 1996 — Talk began with the city of Iowa City, at their request, about producing an information video for employers about transgender employment nondiscrimination. Progress continues. Source This report is adapted from TOUTing our worth newsletter, vol. 1, no. 1 (August 1996), p. 1, with additional information provided by Anna Marie Appleby. Winter 1997 19 Although the Moravian Church in America did not know it, 10 October 1993 was a historic day. Even the few people gathered in a modest apartment in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, could not have imagined the full import of what they were doing. This was the first meeting of gay and lesbian Moravians in the Lehigh Valley area— perhaps the first such gathering of Moravians in the United States and Canada. That day a half-dozen people gathered at 6 p.m. in response to a notice in The Moravian about the possibility of forming a group for lesbian and gay Moravians living in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.1 At 10:30 p.m. we were still sitting around talking. No one wanted to go home. It was almost as if the group was home. Creating Sanctuary Although for a time we called our selves simply “The Gay/Lesbian Moravian Group,” we wanted a less generic designation. We tried names connected with Moravian history, acronyms which were either hilarious or ungainly, names which needed too much explanation. When someone finally said, “How about Sanctuary?” everybody said, “Yesss!” A sanctuary can be a holy place within a church or temple or a place of refuge and protection. For our group, both meanings apply. Although we began with no agenda except to get together, it soon became apparent that we needed more focus. We spent an evening putting together several liturgies for our use (in some instances using material from Open Hands). In addition, individual members have brought liturgies they have written. We have had Bible studies, have read and discussed books and articles, as well as viewing and discussing a number of videos. We have not neglected our social life, particularly in summer when we have cook-outs and potlucks. Our October meeting usually brings out a few people in costume. For a long time one of our members looked outside the Moravian Church for gay and lesbian fellowship. He now finds it enormously affirming to have a network of people from the same spiritual tradition. By participating in Sanctuary he expresses his hope as a gay man for an honorable place in the church. He also sees Sanctuary as holding the church accountable to Jesus’ statement when he drove the money changers from the Temple: “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples” (Matthew 21:13). He points out that the money changers’ booths were set up in the Court of the Gentiles, established for foreigners who were precluded from full Temple worship. Jesus was proclaiming symbolically that all are welcome to God’s realm. A lesbian couple sees Sanctuary as a primary focus of their lives. “It’s a way of having fellowship with other lesbians and gay men without going to the bars.” Planting More Seeds In June 1996, Sanctuary took a significant step forward—as did the whole Moravian Church—when, for the first time ever, the church’s Eastern District Conference included a literature table, proposed by and staffed by Sanctuary members. Leaders of the District were favorably impressed. So were leaders of the Northern Province, who expressed interest in having a similar literature table at the triennial Northern Province Synod in 1997. A Sanctuary member who tended the table has said, “Just being there and being a ‘face’ for those people was a life moment for me.” He defined “life moment” as an experience marking a significant turning point in life. “It was a coming-out of sorts,” he went on, “important for the church as well as…for me.” Recently, we have begun putting together educational information about homosexuality for congregational use, either as personal reading or as the basis for group discussions. We will make this information available to pastors and congregations.2 We now have a supplementary mailing list of Moravians and others who live in places which make it impossible for them to attend our meetings. Each month they receive the notice of our meeting so they know what is happening. Now and again a newsletter goes out as well. This long-distance effort is also of value. One of our far-away members recently wrote: “You have…my prayers and best wishes in what I know from experience to be a difficult undertaking that has nevertheless been blessed, over the long haul, with too many signs of God’s favor to give up in the short run.” ▼ Notes 1The Moravian is the official journal of the Moravian Church in America, Northern and Southern Provinces. 2Material is not yet available. Sanctuary’s web site address is: esanctuary@aol.com. Mary V. Borhek, a member of Central Moravian Church in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, is the mother of a gay son and author of My Son Eric and Coming Out to Parents (Pilgrim Press). By Mary V. Borhek 20 Open Hands Sowing Seeds of Hope An Ecumenical Pride Service Held at Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC Atlanta, Georgia, 30 June 1996 Preparing the Soil Gathering Music Welcome Call to Worship How wonderful, O Lord, are the works of your hands! The heavens declare your glory, the arch of sky displays your handiwork. The heavens declare the glory of God. In your love you have given us the power to behold the beauty of your world, robed in all its splendor. The sun and the stars, the valleys and hills, the rivers and lakes—all disclose your presence. The earth reveals God’s eternal presence. The roaring breakers of the sea tell of your awesome might; the beasts of the field and the birds of the air bespeak your wondrous will. Life comes forth by God’s creative will. In your goodness you have made us able to hear the music of the world. The raging of the winds, the whisperings of trees in the wood, and the precious voices of loved ones reveal to us that you are in our midst. A divine voice sings through all creation. AMEN. Hymn “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee” Henry Van Dyke Reading Turning It Over Prayers of Confession Confessional Response “Dona Nobis” Anthem Prayers of the People Blessed are you, Merciful God of all Creation, and blessed are we who are called by your Name. Hear the prayers of your people as we ask you, God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for those in authority over us, our leaders and lawmakers. Give us eyes to see that we are all children in the same garden world. Teach us to govern ourselves with respect for the dignity of every person. Empower us to take responsibility for our own lives and the lives of others. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We ask that we be given grace to forgive not only those who despise us but those whom we despise. Make us mindful that love has the power to overcome hate. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We thank you for our community, these people who are our family and friends. We affirm the solidarity found in community and the reassurance that we do not stand alone. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for our brothers and sisters living with disease. May your healing light be with them. Use our touch, our kind words and deeds to be a healing balm to them. Sustaining the Spirit Acknowledging creation Learning the history of this garden plot Calling on the power of creation Singing a song while you work Consulting past gardeners Contributing to the compost heap Sharing our compost Seeking assistance Sources Call to Worship: Paraphrased from several psalms by Lesley Brogan. Readings: Used a gospel lesson and a reading from May Sarton. Prayers of the People: Written by Gerry Hoyt. Used with permission. Affirmation: Used full poem from The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago. Doubleday, 1979, p. 256. Planting Ritual Introduction: Written by Linda Ellis. Used with permission. Planting Song: “Playin’ in the Dirt” jingle was written for a local TV commercial. Used with permission of Pike Family Nursery, Atlanta, GA. An Ecumenical Pride Service Held at Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC Atlanta, Georgia, 30 June 1996 Winter 1997 21 (Congregation may add silently or aloud names of those for whom we pray.) God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We remember those who have gone before us and we continue to reap what they have entrusted us to sow. We miss them and grieve for the loss of their light in our lives. We entrust them to your care, knowing that you are doing better things for them than we could hope or pray. (Congregation may add silently or aloud the names of those for whom we pray.) God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for the children, our next generation. May we prepare the soil for them as others have done for us—may we offer them the guidance to grow in your light and the nourishment to thrive in your care. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We celebrate this day our uniqueness, our worth as daughters and sons of yours. We are your clowns, your dreamers, your sages and mystics. We are your healers and workers in your garden. Help us to be so aware of your presence in our lives that we freely open our hearts to receive the seeds of your love. May these seeds come to fruition and bring forth a beautiful new Eden. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. Amen. Envisioning the Harvest Affirmation of Faith “And then all that has divided us will merge…” Judy Chicago Reading Sermon Hymn “Hymn of Promise” Natalie Sleeth Planting the Seed Offering Ritual of Hope This is a day to celebrate and to recognize the days that have come before— some good, some not. We in the gay and lesbian community have a rich and strong heritage to claim. There are generations of people who have sown the seeds whose fruit we are harvesting today. We reap what they have sown by their actions, by the walks they’ve walked—by who they were and how they lived. It is a little easier today for some of us to walk proudly, to claim our place in this community and in the family of God. We celebrate that. And we know that for some it is not easier—not yet. So today we continue the process. Today we take the seeds, turn the dirt, plant the seeds, water them, and remain to tend them—by our actions, by the way we walk, and by how we live. For those who come after us... Playin’ in the Dirt A spade and bucket and a little tin hoe It was fun back then but you never know You might meet a memory of a childhood friend If you come and play in the dirt again. Benediction Moving to fruition Designing the landscape Preparing the seed Reaping what you sow Giving back to the earth Sowing the seed Giving it time to bloom Liturgy Format: Thanks to Rev. Patricia York, Rev. Kelly Turney, Lesley Brogan, all those of the ecumenical pride service committee, and Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC, Atlanta, Georgia, who planned this service. This liturgy may be reprinted for local worship use. For other uses, contact the church. 22 Open Hands Selected Resources Basic Resources These ten resources are recommended to inquiring churches and individuals as “places to begin your reading.” Alexander, Marilyn and James Preston. We Were Baptized Too. Louisville: Westminister John Knox, 1996. Bess, Howard H. Pastor, I am Gay. Palmer, Alaska: Palmer, 1995. Boykin, Keith. One More River to Cross: Black and Gay in America. Anchor Books, 1996. Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, their Families and Friends. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1991. Helminiak, Daniel A. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. San Francisco: Alamo Square, 1994. Law, Eric H. F. The Wolf Shall Dwell with the Lamb: A Spirituality for Leadership in a Multicultural Community. St. Louis: Chalice, 1993. A Chinese-American perspective. Morrison, Melanie. The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Scanzoni, Letha and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response. Rev. and upd. San Francisco: Harper, 1994. Tigert, Leanne McCall. Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in the Church. Cleveland: United Church, 1996. White, Mel. Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. New York: Plume Penguin, 1994. Videos These videos are recommended for your study process. All God’s Children. A 26-min. award-winning color documentary of interviews with African-American leaders who support gay and lesbians rights. Woman Vision: 415/273-1145. Eve’s Daughters. Lesbians sharing their journey from heterosexism and subjugation. Leonardo’s Children: 914/986-6858. Home: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal. A 105-min. original musical drama portraying the power of love to reconcile Christian discord about homosexuality. RCP: 773/736-5526. Maybe We’re Talking About a Different God: The Church and Homosexuality. 29-min. Celebrates gay/lesbian lives and calls the church to be inclusive. Leonardo’s Children: 914/986-6858. The Rhetoric of Intolerance: An Open-Letter Video to Pat Robertson from Dr. Mel White. 29-min. UFMCC: 310/360-8640. Straight from the Heart. 24-min. Parents’ journeys to a new understanding of their lesbian/gay children. Woman Vision: 415/ 273-1145. Welcoming Program Resources These are the major resources produced by the welcoming programs. Each program also has a newsletter. Ecumenical Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality. Mary Jo Osterman. Chicago: Reconciling Congregations Program, 1997. Study book and leader’s guide. Available from the welcoming programs and l/b/g/t support groups. See ad, p. 32. More Light (Presbyterian) More Light Churches Resource Packet. Designed for churches interested in becoming More Light. Reconciling the Broken Silence: The Church in Dialogue on Gay and Lesbian Issues. A six-session study guide. Oasis, The (Episcopal) All Love Is of God: A Six-Session Study of Homosexuality and Homophobia for Congregations of the Episcopal Church. A Book of Revelations: Lesbian and Gay Episcopalians Tell their Own Stories. Ed. by Louie Crew. Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) Open and Affirming: A Journey of Faith. 60-min. video for churches exploring becoming ONA. Open and Affirming: What Does It Mean to Us? A booklet of responses by seventeen l/b/g members of the UCC. OK! We’re ONA. Now What? Ideas on how a UCC church can express its ONA commitment. Open & Affirming (Disciples) Introductory O&A Packet. Guidelines, O&A list, sample statements. O&A Resources on Diskette. Includes packet and kit, plus official Disciples statements and sermons. O&A Workshop Kit. Helps for the O&A process, handouts. Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Inclusive Faith. 18-min. video. Promotes the Reconciled in Christ program through interviews, music, discussion. Reconciling (United Methodist) A Biblical Basis for Reconciling Ministries. Resource paper How to Become a Reconciling Congregation. Resource paper. Reconciling Campus Ministries. Resource paper. Still on the Journey: A Handbook for Reconciling Congregations in Ministry with Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Gay Men. For churches/ groups who have become reconciling. Why Become a Reconciling Congregation. Resource paper. Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) Affirming Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in our Congregations. A resource binder. Body of Dissent: Lesbian and Gay Mennonites and Brethren Continue the Journey. 40-min. video with discussion guide. Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) The Welcoming Congregation: Resources for Affirming Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Persons. Ed. by Scott W. Alexander. Manual for churches interested in becoming more welcoming. Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) Does It Matter? Timothy Phillips. Study/discussion guide on homosexuality and faith for American Baptists. For the Record: Choosing to be Known as a Welcoming & Affirming Congregation. Membership packet. Winter 1997 23 First Ever National Gathering of W&A Baptists LIVING TOGETHER American Baptists from Alaska to North Carolina, from Massachusetts to California, gathered in Evanston, Illinois on 16-18 August 1996 for the first ever national gathering of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. Warmly hosted by the Lake Street Church of Evanston, more than fifty delegates from twenty-two member and inquiring congregations gathered to consider how people of good will and faith may stay together despite differences over issues of sexuality. In study, worship, and mutual sharing, participants sought to learn how to embody Christ’s love even in the midst of deep disagreement. “WELCOME is not just a salutation—it is a commitment to a way of life.” —from the program of the gathering NEW FRIENDS: New friends enjoy a special moment. KEYNOTER CAMPOLOS: Tony and Peggy Campolo (at left) talk informally with delegates. HAPPY TIMES: W&A Association Coordinator Brenda Moulton (second from left) enjoys an informal moment at the book table. BIBLE STUDY: H. Darrell Lance, professor emeritus of Old Testament Interpretation, Colgate Rochester Divinity School, leads a workshop on the Bible and homosexuality. NOW WHAT?: Craig Darling, a member of the W&A Association Council, leads a discussion on the wider implications of being welcoming and affirming. INQUIRING MINDS: Tim and Frances Phillips (top right) share insights about how to open a congregation to possible W&A membership. RESOURCES AVAILABLE: David Gregg (center), minister of education and congregational life at Lake Street Church talks with a potential customer at the book table. INSPIRING WORSHIP: Delegates gather in a prayer circle in the sanctuary of Lake Street Church. SING PRAISE: All join in lively worship. Note Peggy and Tony Campolo’s keynote address is available on video ($12) and audio ($5) tapes from The Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (payable to W&A), PO Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: A Panel, moderated by Rev. Esther Hargis, addressed the experience of the American Baptist churches who were disfellowshipped in 1996. A Workshop led by Dan Gasper, on “What Is a Straight Guy Like Me Doing in a Place Like This?” Photos: John Corbett Content Descriptions were compiled by H. Darrell Lance, newsletter editor for the Association of Welcoming and Affriming Baptists. 24 Open Hands More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Emanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church New Brunswick, New Jersey Emanual is located in downtown New Brunswick, surrounded by theaters, government buildings, and Rutgers University and adjacent to neighborhoods populated by poor people—a location of contradictions such as characterize society in the United States. The congregation, which is nearly 120 years old, has been deeply committed to addressing the problems faced by people in the area. It has founded a soup kitchen and thirty units of transitional housing for homeless families. Emanuel is also a site for numerous substance abuse programs and for support groups for people living with HIV/AIDS. The congregation has also had a long-standing commitment to ministry that is inclusive and has worked very hard to address gender and sexuality issues and to overcome the legacy of patriarchy in the church. The decision to become a Reconciled in Christ congregation was a logical outgrowth of this work. Emanuel is reaching out to gay and lesbian persons through the Pride Center of New Brunswick and an ecumenical Christian organization called Promises, which brings together gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight people across the state. St. John’s Church Allentown, Pennsylvania St. John’s Church is an 1100-member, metropolitan Lutheran congregation. The process of becoming an RIC congregation took eleven months. Initially, the proposal came to the church in society task force, which recommended it to the vestry. While the vestry was in favor, it was decided that the entire congregation should be a part of such a decision through open discussion and educational opportunities. Adult Sunday school classes studied Jesus’ response to the Holiness Code and his welcoming of all persons into God’s community. Discussion groups, newsletter articles, and letters from the pastor addressed people’s questions and concerns. When it was time to vote at a congregational meeting, there were four negative votes. Members take pride in the decision and in how it was reached. Dealing with RIC helped St. John’s see what it means to take the gospel seriously. St. John’s is proud to be the first RIC congregation in its synod. When the church first considered RIC, six openly gay or lesbian members were attending. That number hasn’t changed since the RIC decision in January 1996, but the church hopes that by advertising in local newsletters and so on, it will be recognized as an open community. St. Mark’s Lutheran Church Fargo, North Dakota Located in downtown Fargo, St. Mark’s Lutheran, a congregation of 500 members, has always been a bit more progressive and inclusive than its environment. It was the first English- language Lutheran church in Dakota Territory. Leaders played a key role in founding Northwestern Seminary (now part of Luther Seminary), Concordia College, and a leading regional hospital. Its motto, “An inclusive fellowship of God’s people centered in Word and Sacrament, dedicated to serving its urban neighborhood” describes commitments to inclusivity, worship, and service. St. Mark’s has ministered to and with gay and lesbian people for more than twenty-five years and although it has created some dissension, even division, it has welcomed gay and lesbian people in its organizations, in the governing board, and as representatives to larger church functions. The church hopes to sponsor a chapter of Lutherans Concerned in the area. Christ Congregational UCC Pueblo, Colorado This congregation draws its membership of 120 from Pueblo and several neighboring towns. Expressions of its desire to be inclusive and accessible include its ONA commitment, use of inclusive language, and remodeling plans for a lift to the fellowship hall. Recently, pastor Karen Sorensen Schmit celebrated a wedding for two of the church’s male members. The ceremony broke ground with the local newspaper which created a new column and printed the gay couple’s announcement and picture in the wedding section. The church has hosted two of the last three community World AIDS Day services and has shared worship space with a Metropolitan Community Church for over six years. The Congregational Church in Exeter UCC Exeter, New Hampshire Gathered in 1638, this 500-member “pillar church” is located in the center of an historic New England town. In the wake of the congregation’s vote to become ONA, there is more willingness to examine serious issues and to hear others’ feelings, with the church council as the primary place of these Welcoming Communities RECONCILED IN CHRIST OPEN AND AFFIRMING Winter 1997 25 discussions. The unfolding of ONA in the life of the church has only begun. The Christian growth and the mission and action committees have co-sponsored special events and are incorporating the vision of ONA into their work. Central United Methodist Church South Bend, Indiana Central UMC has a phoenix story—new life arising from ashes. Mary Hubbard arrived as pastor five years ago to close this church which had dwindled to 13 elderly members. However, new folks, particularly gay men, began coming to the church. Even though the church building was sold, the congregation continued. Now 55-60 persons gather for worship each Sunday. In November 1996, Central celebrated its first Sunday in a new building the congregation has purchased. Central received much positive publicity for its decision to become an RC and is now attracting a wide diversity of persons. Mathewson Street United Methodist Church Providence, Rhode Island Mathewson Street UMC is a center-city church located in the theater district, a few blocks from the state capitol. Indicative of its commitment to the arts, the church has a small theater in its building and two artists-in-residence. This congregation of 300 members has an extensive outreach program—serving almost 20,000 persons each year through a food pantry, soup kitchen, and housing and employment information. The congregation hosts the Rhode Island Organizing Project, a faithbased coalition which addresses social issues in neighborhoods. The needs of the community surrounding the congregation precipitated the discussion to become an RC in 1991, culminating in a decision in April 1996. Pacific Beach UMC San Diego, California Pacific Beach UMC celebrates its fiftieth anniversary in 1997. Nine charter members remain in the congregation. The congregation’s membership peaked in the early 1960s and then began a long decline. A faithful core has rebuilt the congregation in the 1990s to 165 members and has remodeled the sanctuary. Worship and music are central to the life of Pacific Beach. A Harvest for Hunger program provides weekly meals for neighbors in need. A youth mentorship program provides support for troubled kids and first-time offenders. The decision to become an RC in October 1995 was the completion of a long period of study and dialogue. Park Street Baptist Church Framingham, Massachusetts The newest member of the Welcoming & Affirming Congregations (ABC/USA), Park Street Baptist Church celebrated its decision at a jubilant worship service in May 1996. The 180- member congregation, located in a city between Boston and Worcester, values the diversity of its members. It is active in service to the community, has openly gay members in leadership positions, and has opened its facilities to a developing ethnic congregation. After hearing about the disfellowshipping of W&A churches in other regions, the church voted unanimously to become W&A—both to proclaim their solidarity with the marginalized churches and to declare publicly their own welcome to the gay community. “We are a very diverse congregation,” says Jean Ledoux, a seminarian and active member of Park Street Church. “It’s about being inclusive and being in the community and binding up people who are wounded and hurt, and being a place where people can come and be safe and loved.” New Covenant Community Normal, Illinois The New Covenant Community, now in its fourth year, is oriented toward the campus of Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois. Affiliated with the Disciples of Christ, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), and the United Church of Christ, the congregation is a welcoming community for people who have fallen away from active church participation. The Rev. Richard Watts, pastor of the community, and a longtime peace advocate, celebrates the intellectual vitality and the diversity of religious traditions of its members. WELCOMING & AFFIRMING RECONCILING WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. MORE LIGHT 26 Open Hands Movement News Alaska W&A Church “Admonished” The American Baptist Churches of Alaska (ABCA) has given notice to the Church of the Covenant (W&A) of Palmer, Alaska, to conform to national denominational standards about homosexuality or to face disfellowshipping from the Alaska Association. A three-person committee met in September with representatives of the church to “bring the Church of the Covenant into accountability.” It was obvious to all in attendance that the differences were not reconcilable. The “admonishing” action was taken 8 October 1996 at the annual meeting of ABCA. In a motion termed “an effort toward reconciliation,” the Association “admonished Church of the Covenant to accept the stand of the General Board of the ABC/USA and the ABCA that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Howard Bess, pastor of Church of the Covenant, stated that no resolution or disfellowshipping action would deter them from their commitment to justice for gay people. “In All Things Charity” Launched Fifteen United Methodist clergy have issued a call for other clergy to join them in signing an “In All Things Charity Statement of Conscience” concerning the United Methodist position on homosexuality. Among the six points in the document are commitments to support “appropriate liturgical covenantal commitments between same-gendered couples” and to “work and pray for the ordination of gay men and lesbians who are otherwise called to and qualified for ordained ministry.” For more information, write to “In All Things Charity,” c/o Broadway UMC, 3344 N. Broadway, Chicago IL 60657. “That All May Freely Serve” Expands The Downtown United Presbyterian Church in Rochester, New York, and Westminster Presbyterian Church in Tiburon, California, announce that the gay/lesbian evangelistic ministry they have hosted (through supporting Rev. Jane Adams Spahr) will expand in 1997. With Spahr, TAMFS will organize at least two regional evangelist partnerships. In each area, a cluster of More Light churches will employ a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person to be a regional evangelist. For more information, contact DUPC at 716/325-4000. RCP Crosses the Threshold Following a successful Open the Doors campaign at the 1996 General Conference in Denver, Reconciling United Methodists planned and attended Threshold meetings in twenty-eight annual conferences in late 1996 and early 1997. These grassroots networking meetings celebrated the success of the campaign and generated creative strategies for continuing to build the RC movement across The United Methodist Church. Reports from the meetings revealed growing commitment, innovative planning, and profound vision. Numerous meetings included first-time participants in a Reconciling Congregation Program activity. Several groups committed themselves to more intentional organizing and publicity at the local and conference level. Others began steps toward the development of speakers bureaus, education events, and support groups. Many gatherings developed steps for signing up additional Reconciling UMs. For more information about organizing in your area, call the RCP office at 773/736-5526. Appeal of California W&A Churches Rejected On 21 September 1996, the appeals committee of the American Baptist Churches of the West responded to the disfellowshipping of four Welcoming & Affirming churches. The report stated that the region’s process in dismissing the four churches was not a fair process and that most of the responsibility for that unfairness lies with the region staff. Nevertheless, the region’s board of managers voted to stay with their original decision to dismiss the four churches. The four churches, which are in process of appealing their dismissal to the national body, continue to abide by the Common Criteria that all ABC churches must abide by and will continue to be faithful to their call as followers of Jesus Christ. ONA Program, UCCL/GC, Makes Plans The United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns’ ONA Advisory Committee gathered in Chicago last September to evaluate and plan. With 200 plus UCC churches listed as ONA, there was great excitement about the progress made toward being a denomination characterized by “openness to and affirmation of” people of all sexual orientations, and realization that, in some ways, this witness is just beginning to gather its strength! Plans to further the ONA spirit in the UCC include: completing the new, 2nd edition “ONA Study Packet” (being produced jointly with the ONA Task Force of the MA Conference, UCC); broadening multicultural perspectives in ONA resources and programs; producing a resource on openly lesbigay clergy serving churches and other settings in the UCC; and participating in planning for the Welcoming Churches event in 2000. Challenging, Spirit-filled times are ahead! Call for Articles for Fall 1997 Baptism and Communion: The Rites of the Right to Be Here Seeking articles which explore theological understandings of baptism, communion, and inclusivity. Also seeking personal stories from lesbigay and transgender people on the meaning and impact of baptism and communion in your lives; and stories of lesbigay parents and the baptism of your children. Positive stories as well as stories of discrimination related to baptism and communion are welcome. Write with idea: April 15 Manuscript deadline: August 1 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Winter 1997 27 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, 735 local churches, 36 campus ministries, 29 judicatories, and 4 national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including gay men and lesbian women. This represents an increase of 25 percent over last year! These 804 welcoming communities are found in ten denominations in 46 states, plus the District of Columbia and Canada. Welcoming Episcopal and United Church of Canada groups are added for the first time this year. The complete list (as of 1 February 1997) follows. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes. CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Apache Junction Desert Chapel UMC (RC) Phoenix Asbury UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Faith Lutheran (RIC) Tucson First Christian (O&A) Rincon Congregational UCC (ONA) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito Christ Lutheran (RIC) Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Northminster Presbyterian (ML) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno First Congregational (ONA) Wesley UMC (RC) Gardena First UMC (RC) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) United Church (ONA) Hollywood Hollywood UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) La Verne Church of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Angeles Bethel Lutheran (RIC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Napa Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Faith American Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) Unitarian Universalist Society (WEL) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Church Lutheran (RIC) City of Refuge (ONA) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John the Evangelist Episcopal (OAS) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (ONA, W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fellowship of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) St. Mark’s UMC (RC) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) TOTAL AU Affirm United (United Church of Canada) 7 ML More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian) 75 OAS Oasis (Episcopal) 39 ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) 217 O&A Open & Affirming (Disciples) 34 RIC Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) 147 RC Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist) 142 SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) 13 W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) 26 WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) 107 28 Open Hands Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Boulder Mennonite (SCN) Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fireside Christian (O&A) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) First Universalist (WEL) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas Lutheran Chapel (RIC) Pueblo Christ Congregational, UCC (ONA) Telluride Christ Presbyterian (ML) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Ellington First Lutheran (RIC) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Hamden U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Lutheran Church of the Reformation (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater UU Church of Clearwater (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Miami Beach Miami Beach Community (ONA) North Palm Beach First Unitarian (WEL) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan Presbyterian (ML, ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Athens Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) HAWAII Honolulu Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Epworth UMC (RC) Gladstone Park Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Luke’s Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Normal New Covenant Community (ML, ONA, O&A) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) First United Church (ML, ONA) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Oak Park Mennonite (SCN) Park Forest UU Community (WEL) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Streamwood Immanuel UCC (ONA) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community UMC (RC) INDIANA Bloomington St. Thomas Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Indianapolis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) South Bend Central UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Peoples Church UU (WEL) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City FaithWorks Community (ML, ONA, O&A, RC) Rainbow Mennonite (SCN) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Third Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Mt. Desert Somesville Union Meeting House (ONA) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) Waterville Universalist Unitarian (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Brown Memorial Park Ave. Pres. (ML) Dundalk Church of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Winter 1997 29 Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Congregational UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ML, ONA) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Park Street Baptist (W&A) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham First Parish Old Ship (WEL) Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Needham First Parish UU (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational UCC (ONA) First Parish Society (WEL) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton First Church of Christ (ONA) Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury Church of the United Community (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Somerville Clarenden Hill Presbyterian (ML) Stowe First Parish Ch. of Stowe & Acton (WEL) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Memorial Congregational UCC (ONA) Wayland First Parish of Wayland (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester First Baptist (W&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Ferndale Zion Lutheran (RIC) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southfield Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Williamston Williamston UMC (RC) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Becker Becker UMC (RC) Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Hobart UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Lynnhurst Congregational (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Minnehaha UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Parkway UCC (ONA) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud St. Cloud UU Fellwoship (WEL) Univ. Lutheran of the Epiphany (RIC) St. Paul Dayton Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Macalester-Plymouth United (ML, ONA) St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) Tyler Place Presbyterian (ML) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Lincoln Unitarian Church (WEL) Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Concord South Congregational, UCC (ONA) Exeter Congregational (ONA) Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist Congregation (WEL) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) NEW JERSEY Bloomfield Christ Episcopal (OAS) Boonton St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Chatham St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Chester Church of the Messiah Episcopal (OAS) Clifton St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Denville Church of Our Saviour Episcopal (OAS) Englewood St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Exeter Congregational Church (ONA) Fort Lee Church of the Good Shepherd (OAS) Hackensack Christ Episcopal (OAS) Harrington Park St. Andrew’s Episcopal (OAS) Hasbrouck Heights Church of St. John the Divine (OAS) Hawthorne St. Clement’s Episcopal (OAS) Hoboken All Saints Parish (OAS) Jersey City Grace Van Vorst Episcopal (OAS) St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Leonia All Saints Episcopal (OAS) Madison Grace Episcopal (OAS) Maplewood St. George’s Episcopal (OAS) Mendham St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Millburn St. Stephen’s Episcopal (OAS) Montclair St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) St. Luke’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian (WEL) Montvale St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Morristown Church of the Redeemer (OAS) St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) New Brunswick Emanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Grace Episcopal (OAS) Norwood Church of the Holy Communion (OAS) Parsippany St. Gregory’s Episcopal (OAS) Passaic St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Paterson St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) Ridgewood Christ Episcopal (OAS) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Sparta St. Mary’s Episcopal (OAS) 30 Open Hands Summit Calvary Episcopal (OAS) Teaneck St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Tenafly Church of the Atonement (OAS) Towaco Church of the Transfiguration (OAS) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) Upper Montclair St. James’ Episcopal (OAS) Verona Holy Spirit Episcopal (OAS) NEW MEXICO Albuquerque First Unitarian (WEL) Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) First Presbyterian (ML) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Blooming Grove Blooming Grove UCC (ONA) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unitarian Cong. Society (WEL) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Copake Craryville UMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Fairport Mountain Rise UCC (ONA) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Kingston Trinity UMC (RC) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York City Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Paul & St. Andrew UMC (RC) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Plattsburgh Plattsburgh UMC (RC) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown United Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Slingerlands Community UMC (RC) Snyder Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Syracuse Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Utica Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) NORTH DAKOTA Fargo St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Euclid Ave. Congregational UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) West Shore UU (WEL) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) North Congregational UCC (ONA) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Miami Valley Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Lakewood Cove UMC (RC) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Oklahoma City Epworth UMC (RC) Tulsa Fellowship Congregational, UCC (ONA) UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ, Cong. (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Congregational Church (ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) Eugene First Congregational, UCC (ONA) Unitarian of Eugene & Lane Co. (WEL) Forest Grove Forest Grove UCC (ONA) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Allentown Muhlenberg College Chapel (RIC) St. John Lutheran (RIC) Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Pittsburgh First Unitarian (WEL) St. Andrew Lutheran (RIC) Upper Darby Christ Lutheran (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) Providence Mathewson Street UMC (RC) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Chattanooga Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU Church (WEL) St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) College Station Friends Congregational (ONA) Winter 1997 31 Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Grace Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) UTAH Salt Lake City Mount Tabor Lutheran (RIC) South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Unitarian Church (WEL) Charlottesville Sojourners UCC (ONA) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) Roanoke Unitarian Universalist (WEL) WASHINGTON Bellevue Eastgate Congregational UCC (ONA) First Congregational, UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Carnation Tolt Congregational, UCC (ONA) Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) East Vancouver East Vancouver UMC (RC) Edmonds Edmonds UU (WEL) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Fauntleroy UCC (ONA) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Magnolia UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Congregational (ONA) Vancouver First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Eau Claire Ecum. Relig. Ctr./Univ. Lutheran (RIC) Madison Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) James Reeb UU Congregation (WEL) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Cross Lutheran (RIC) Pentecost Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA ALBERTA Calgary South Calgary Inter-Mennonite (SCN) Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver First United Church (AU) Unitarian Church (WEL) MANITOBA Winnipeg Augustine United (AU) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Young United (AU) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Toronto Bathurst United (AU) Bloor Street United (AU) Glen Rhodes United (AU) Trinity-St. Paul’s United (AU) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry LSC=Lutheran Student Center LSM=Lutheran Student Movement UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) UCM, UC, Riverside (RC) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Berkeley (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA, Los Angeles (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS Ill. Disciples Fdn., UI, Champaign (O&A) UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) Stud. Cong., Luther Coll., Decorah (RIC) KANSAS LCM, KSU, Manhattan (RIC) United Methodist CM, UK, Lawrence (RC) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) LCM, SCS, St. Cloud (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) Wesley Fdn., Oh. Wesleyan, Delaware (RC) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA LSC-LCM, Kutztown U, Kutztown (RIC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) VIRGINIA Campus Christian Community, MWC, Fredericksburg (RC, RIC) WASHINGTON LCM, WU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) UM Fellowship, UPS, Puget Sound (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, UW, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN LSC, LSM, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire New York Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Oregon-Idaho Troy Wisconsin Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Synods, ELCA (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania NATIONAL MINISTRIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) Gen’l Commission on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) Reconciling Congregation Program • 3801 N. Keeler Avenue • Chicago, IL 60641 • 773/736-5526; fax—773/736-5475 PRECONVOCATION FORUMS FOR: • clergy • parents of l/g/bi persons • persons of color • youth, students, & seminarians July 24-27, 1997 Emory University Atlanta Bible Study leaders: Dr. David Otto Rev. Janet Wolf Music Leaders: Jim & Jean Strathdee Worship preachers: Rev. Minerva Carcaño Bill Crews Rev. Sally Dyck Rev. Luther Felder Dramatic Performances: Caught in the Middle All in our Family Youth & Children’s Programs Workshops Area Strategy Sessions Celebration of Denver 15 Covenant Groups The fifth national convocation of Reconciling Congregations a spirit-filled gathering of the whole family of God QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Bisexuality: Perceptions & Realities (Fall 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Celebrating the Inclusive God: Worship (Winter 1994) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Church Conflict: Living with It! Learning from It! (Spring 1996) ___ Airing Out Closets (Summer 1996) ___ Transgender Realities (Fall 1996) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 3 - Sowing Seeds of Inclusion https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7ce260c6c88da5aef92a8ea116cf4c9c.pdf cbe0c30deb33335d3e8e8810424e1575 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document Same -Sex Unions Vol. 12 No. 4 Spring 1997 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 4 Spring 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Same-Sex Unions IDENTIFYING THE ISSUES Same-Sex Unions: Introduction to the Issues 4 EDITOR It’s Not About Marriage—It’s About Civil Rights! 5 MEL WHITE How do we name the issue and why? How we answer may unintentionally give fuel to the Religious Right. The Church and Covenant Relationships: Moving Toward a Renewed Understanding 8 DAVID BELT What does it mean for one person to be in relationship with another? What is the difference between a religious covenant and a legal contract? The Prior Question: A Theological Basis for Blessing Same-Gender Covenants 12 MIRIAM H. PRICHARD What would Jesus do? What do the Gospels imply? One description of the issues before a Baptist church in the Southeast. Legal Considerations 14 PATRICIA V. LONG A member of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh sketches legal problems same-sex couples face. The Hawaii Case: A Summary 15 EDITOR SHARING THE STORIES Companions 16 MAREN C. TIRABASSI A poet-pastor reflects on funeral decorum where samesex couples are involved. The Wrong Question 17 TOM BOLLER A district superintendent caught short by a General Conference conversation takes steps to articulate his beliefs. Spring 1997 3 NEXT ISSUE: Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC SELECTED RESOURCES 27 WELCOMING COMMUNITIES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 The Meaning of a Jewish Blessing 18 STEVEN FOLBERG A rabbi shares a story. Steps on a Journey 20 ALYSON HUNTLY Two United Church of Canada congregations seek to be inclusive with two different kinds of processes. Experiences of a Bi-National Lesbian Couple 22 ANONYMOUS Eight years after they became a couple, they still don’t have permanent residency in either partner’s country— but they’re close! R.S.V.P. 24 SUSAN PALMQUIST A hospital chaplain shares a modern midrash sermon on Matthew 22:1-14. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Be for us a model 26 TIMOTHY KOCHER-HILLMER A hymn for the blessing of a commitment. Tapestry of Light 26 AMANDA UDIS-KESSLER A song for a holy union. ASIDES Rights and Protections Denied ...... 6 MEL WHITE Shifting Justification for Sex .......... 9 E. J. GRAFF Where Does Your Denomination Stand? ................ 11 EDITOR Vows of Commitment ................ 13 BETH HEALY AND KATHIE HOPKINS Closing Words ........................... 14 APACHE PRAYER Two Men’s Devotion .................. 17 KYLE SWIHART Resolution of Reform Judaism ..... 18 UAHC Friends Affirm Same-Sex Marriage ................................ 19 4 Open Hands Identifying the Issues Same-sex (same-gender) marriage has hit the public forum rather dramatically in the last year or so. Prior to the Hawaii case and the “Defense of Marriage Act,” our country was focused on “gays in the military,” “special rights” initiatives by the Religious Right, and local gay/lesbian rights initiatives. Many activists were working hard on domestic partnership benefits, not on legal and congressional approval of same-sex marriages. Now, state legislators are rushing to ban recognition of same-sex marriage from one state to another. Today, activists are torn between critiquing the institution of marriage and working for gays and lesbians to have the right to marry. And, as Mel White points out, the Religious Right has set the agenda by quickly using the visibility of the Hawaii case to once again work against gay rights (see p. 5). Yet, the issue is not simply political. We need only recall “The Wedding,” sponsored by the National Federation of Metropolitan Community Churches at the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual March on Washington (24 April 1993) to realize that the desire for ceremonies of samesex commitment has grass roots appeal. At that event, at least 2600 same-sex couples, complete with tuxedos and wedding gowns, made a public commitment in a mass ritual and then celebrated their unions in privately organized receptions around the city.1 Gays and lesbians want the ritual as well as the right to marry. The issue of same-sex unions is now emerging publicly within welcoming churches, although pastors have long officiated at same-sex unions to affirm same-sex relationships within their congregations— and sometimes to provide non-members with religious affirmation of their relationships. Now, such pastors are being called to task by superiors; congregations are being prohibited from holding such events within their buildings. What are pastors to do? How are congregations to view their ministries? We hope these articles, highlighting civil, biblical, theological, and personal/ social concerns and sharing stories of people impacted by the policies and debates, will help you struggle with how to respond to this emerging ministry concern. Here are some factors to consider: 1) Should this issue be framed as the historical right of clergy to marry anyone? Or as an understanding that congregations offer blessings and recognize relationships that exist in their midst? 2) If one approaches this issue as an equity issue, how should the church function? Can pastors who seek to secure civil rights for gays and lesbians continue to function as a representative of a state which denies civil relationship rights to some people? 3) Is it possible to find a middle ground which upholds both denominational needs and faithfulness to local church ministry? What are possible repercussions of defying a negative denominational policy? What biblical foundations support such defiance, and how might it occur? Engaging in dialogue about same-sex unions can be an enriching experience. Let us discuss— with empathy and honesty— our understandings of relationships in a Christian community and how the community supports or undermines those relationships. Welcome to the dialogue! —Editor Note 1Troy Perry, “The Wedding: A Demonstration for the Rights of Gay, Lesbian and Bi Couples,” in Equal Rites, eds. Kittredge Cherry and Zalmon Sherwood (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995), pp. 106- 109. Same-Sex Unions: Introduction to the Issues Spring 1997 5 more ➟ At this moment a fierce and costly war is being waged against lesbians and gays by an army of religious and political zealots. Based on their own anti-homosexual reading (or misreading) of the Hebrew and Christian texts, they are determined to rob us of our civil rights if not eliminate us altogether. Though we are fighting that war on many fronts, same-gender marriage is the issue du jour. Every day our e-mail boxes are filled with reports of battles lost and battles won, but there is still no way to know for certain if we are winning or losing the war. In the meantime, the toxic anti-homosexual rhetoric flows, polluting the nation’s moral environment, trickling down to intolerance, injustice, injury, and death. So, what can we do? This century’s primary apostles of nonviolence, Gandhi and King, say we have just three options. First, we can acquiesce to this latest intolerance, remain comfortably silent, and hope others will win justice for us. Second, we can wait until extremist forces succeed in their campaign to eliminate our rights altogether and then take our anger and our violence to the streets. Or, third (guided by the “soul force” principles of Jesus, Gandhi, and King), we can work for justice now, not just for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered Americans seeking the rights of marriage, but for all God’s children who suffer. At the heart of those “soul force” principles are three, life-changing ideas: First, our Creator calls us to do justice and our lives can’t really be fulfilled until we join Her in that task. Second, our enemies are not evil; they are just victims of misinformation (as we have been). Third, we will succeed only by presenting them the truth in love relentlessly without ever stooping to physical or spiritual violence. Taking a Personal Stand Now, let’s say you decide to hear your Creator’s call to do justice. You want to enlist in that small “soul force” army of women and men who are risking their lives (and investing their resources nonviolently) to win liberty and justice for all. No matter how committed you are to winning equal rights for all people, you cannot fight on every front. You have to choose your battles carefully and then focus everything you have (time, money, energy) on winning your own “small” victories. So, how do we decide where to take our own personal stand? Is same-sex marriage one of those issues that should merit our concern? “Gays are most concerned about employment, personal safety, and AIDS,” answers one of our current national spokespersons. “Only half of them think marriage is an important issue.” I don’t know what poll produced that number. I don’t know how the question was asked or how many people actually answered it. But I know this: to think for a minute that same-sex marriage is not an important issue to us all will be a tragic and costly mistake. First, the statement that marriage “is not an important issue” adds to the confusion already surrounding the samegender marriage debate. Whether we think marriage (as an institution) is important or not makes no difference here. This battle is not about marriage at all. It’s about winning the hundreds (if not thousands) of civil rights and protections that go with heterosexual marriage for lesbian and gay Americans who are now denied those rights (see p. 6). UFMCC pastors and other welcoming and supportive clergy have been marrying lesbian and gay couples for decades and we will go on marrying them forever (even if it means going underground to do it). In fact, same-sex Catholic marriage rites go back to the ninth century, even before heterosexual marriage rites were observed.1 No one can deny us the marriage rite. Instead, they are denying us the legal rights that go automatically with heterosexual marriage. And we must give time and money to obtain those rights whether we believe in the institution of marriage or not. Second, the statement that only half of the lesbians and gays polled feel that marriage “is an important issue” inadvertently supports the extremists in their misinformation campaign against us. The spokesperson didn’t mean to give aid and comfort to the enemy when he said only half of us think marriage is an important issue. But he did. Robertson’s Christian Coalition, Coach Bill McCartney’s Promise Keepers, Beverly LaHaye’s Concerned Women for America, Randell Terry’s Operation Rescue, and the other armies mobilized and massed against us on the same-sex marriage line sincerely believe that lesbian and gay Americans are a threat to “family values.” Without wanting to, the statement that marriage isn’t important supports their worst fears. At the very least the words imply (especially to those who misunderstand and fear us) that since (at least half of us) don’t believe in marriage then (at least half of us) don’t believe in loving, loyal, long-term committed relationships. And if we don’t believe in loving, loyal, long-term committed relationships, then we are a threat to real family values; then we shouldn’t be granted the rights of marriage; and even worse, then children are not safe with us. One false assumption leads to another. Tragic, true-life suffering follows. By Mel White The Same-Sex Marriage Crisis and Our Response It's Not About Marriage— It's About Civil Rights! 6 Open Hands Third, though the spokesperson didn’t mean this either, his statement implies that those who are fighting for same-gender marriage are wasting their time and money on a lost cause. “We can’t win this one,” the statement suggests. “So let’s not waste our resources trying.” For political activists whose primary task is to practice “the art of the politically possible,” it may be true that we have already lost this “marriage” battle in a big way. State-by-state data compiled by Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force shows how badly we are losing. Between 1995 and 1996, thirtyseven states considered bills against same-gender marriage. Sixteen states enacted those bills— one in 1995, fifteen in 1996, and all thirty-four of the remaining states are expected to take up such legislation this year. Last year in Washington, D.C., inspired by the same anti-homosexual rhetoric that motivates state legislators to pass bills against us, the U.S. Congress passed— and President Clinton signed into law— the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA). DOMA defines marriage exclusively in heterosexual terms and allows one state to not recognize a same-gender marriage considered legal in another. For the first time in our nation’s history, the U.S. Congress and the U.S. President combined their considerable powers to make lesbians and gays second-classcitizens in our own country. It is no wonder that political activists, realizing the near impossibility of turning back this anti-same-sex-marriage tide, are deciding to spend their time and money on getting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) passed. Of course we’re losing this marriage battle, but we must not leave the field. Remembering the Real Issue The real issue for our adversaries is not same-gender marriage. Last year they used the “threat” of gays and lesbians in the military to raise money and mobilize volunteers. Next year (or even sooner) they’ll be working to deny us our rights to child custody, foster care, and adoption. Issue by issue, they are working to turn the nation against us. They don’t really care if they win this anti-gay initiative or lose that court action. They simply use each campaign to drum their ultimate message home: homosexuality is a sickness and a sin. Their ultimate goal is to deny us all our civil rights if not to eliminate us altogether. Therefore, we can’t count our wins or losses in laws or court decisions either. We are spirit-based, “soul force” activists. Our goal is to change the minds and hearts of friends and foes alike. Our ultimate goal is to help create the beloved community where we can live side by side in peace with everyone, even our adversaries. To this end, win or lose, we go on presenting the truth in love relentlessly. By taking our stand with dignity and courage, by refusing to surrender and go back into our closets, by insisting that the rights we seek were endowed by our Creator and guaranteed by our Constitution, by refusing to stoop to physical or spiritual violence, we take the moral high ground. Eventually the nation sees by our example that the extremists do not speak the truth. I am grateful for our political activists who are struggling to defeat all these ugly and misinformed anti-gay marriage laws in every state. We should back their efforts faithfully with our time and our money. Give generously to Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, our national organization who is coordinating our state-by-state defense against these bills that deny us the rights of marriage. Send money to the Hawaii Marriage Project (where the battle began and continues to this day; see p. 15) and to the state and local organizations that are fighting this battle on our behalf. Write letters and e-mail to editors, to your national and state legislators, to the President, and to the clergy. Do what you can, but convincing the leaders to support our cause is not enough. We must also change the minds and hearts of the ‘real people,’ our friends and neighbors, especially those who come from religious traditions like our own. That’s our job as people of faith. These misinformed souls really believe the false and inflammatory rhetoric they see on Pat Robertson’s 700 Club2 and hear on James Dobson’s Focus on the Family (or from the pulpits and lecterns of our local churches). They have been convinced, quite incorrectly, that homosexuals are more promiscuous than heterosexuals, that all our relationships are unstable and short term, that we don’t honor or keep long term commitments, and that children are at risk when their parents are lesbians or gays. Rights and Protections Denied Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples (www.buddybuddy.com) uncovered approximately 175 to 250 rights and protections that same-sex couples are denied. A sampling is listed below.1 Automatic Inheritance Assumption of Spouse’s Pension Bereavement Leave Burial Determination Child Custody Divorce Protections Domestic Violence Protection Exemption from Property Tax on Partner’s Death Immigration Rights for Foreign Spouse Insurance Breaks Joint Adoption and Foster Care Joint Bankruptcy Joint Parenting (Insurance Coverage, School Records) Medical Decision on Behalf of Partner Various Property Rights Reduced Rate Memberships Sick Leave to Care for Partner Social Security Survivor Benefits Tax Breaks Visitation of Partner’s Children Visitation of Partner in Hospital or Prison. —Mel White Note 1However, a recent report by the General Accounting Office in Washington, D.C. named 1,049 federal laws that provide benefits, rights, and privileges based on a person’s marital status. Spring 1997 7 Changing Minds and Hearts We can only change the minds and the hearts of those who fear us when they know one or more of us personally; when they get acquainted with lesbians and gays who are sexually responsible; when they meet same-sex partners who are obviously committed to loyal, loving, long-term relationships; when they see our healthy, happy children and witness our commitment to them. Until our adversaries have a chance to know us personally, the gains we win through legislation or the courts are temporary at best. Here are four (rather obvious) suggestions of thingswe might do to change the minds and hearts of the people we know: 1. Coming out changes minds and hearts The extremists lose ground every time a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered person takes that first, scary step towards emancipation. Being honest about yourself is the only way to change the minds and hearts of your family and friends. But don’t do it for them. Do it for yourself. Living in a closet shrinks your soul and cripples your spirit. God created you and loves you exactly as you are. God has dreams for your life. Seeing those dreams come true can’t begin until you accept your sexual orientation as a gift from your Creator. Begin your journey towards fulfilling God’s dreams for you; and at the same time, let God use your life and example to bring justice for us all. 2. Holy unions change minds and hearts If you are contemplating a samesex holy union (or know someone who is), consider how powerful that event can be in combatting the lies about us. You can do so much to enlighten our family and friends about our family values with a public wedding. Ask your pastor to conduct your holy union in the church. If church leadership needs time to consider your request, give them the time they need, but stay after them. The discussions, and even churchwide studies, that may follow your request often lead to major breakthroughs for our community. When the date is decided, get your photo and a brief history of your relationship to your local papers (straight and gay/lesbian alike). If they won’t include it with the other wedding announcements, make a fuss until they do. Place your name in the various store registries and tell your friends to buy you something expensive. (Yah, right!) Our economic clout will also help change the minds of clerks, store managers, and managers of national chains and the huge corporations that own them. Invite your family and friends to your wedding, including those least likely to attend. For those who don’t come, send them a little “missed you” love note with a program and a photo, even an audio or a video tape. If you are really brave, send an invitation to your local TV or radio station news manager. Call a talk show host and offer to be interviewed. Do everything you can to say: “We love each other and we want the world to know it.” 3. Anniversary celebrations change minds and hearts Lesbian and gay couples who have been together ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty and sixty years are the greatest untapped resource we have for combatting the false rhetoric about our “unstable lifestyle” and ending this current war against us. Whether it’s your first anniversary or your fiftieth, invite family and friends to celebrate it with you. Or ask a long-term couple if you can plan a celebration for them. With their permission, get photos and brief bios to the newspapers. Let local (radio and TV) morning talk shows or regular news programs know that you will share your story publicly. Even if you don’t let the media know, celebrating the anniversaries of our loving commitments will make a lasting difference with family, friends, and neighbors. 4. Honest, thoughtful discussions change minds and hearts The entire country is talking about this same-gender marriage issue. Add your voice (even if you’re just asking honest questions). When you hear the issue raised, remind friends and foes alike that we’re not talking about marriage rites, but the rights that go with marriage. Review the sampling of rights (see p. 6) that lesbians and gays are denied. Consider the tragic consequences of second- class citizenship in your life, in the lives of those you love. Share the truth in love relentlessly. One last thing. An honest conversation among ourselves about marriage is long overdue. How do you feel about lesbians and gays getting married? Do you believe in long term, loyal, committed relationships? Are you willing to take on the moral and legal responsibilities that go with marriage if and when we are granted that right? What are the principles that guide your most intimate behaviors? While the battle rages, there may not be time to sit down calmly and discuss the current state of same-sex relationships, but it is certainly a task that our faith-based organizations must take on. ▼ Notes 1See John Boswell, Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (New York: Villard, 1994). 2In 1996 we produced a 30-minute video demonstrating and responding to Pat Robertson’s false and inflammatory rhetoric against lesbians and gays, other minorities, and women. To order The Rhetoric of Intolerance (and a 12-page user’s guide) send $5.55 (for duplicating, packaging, and mailing) to VIDEO, P.O. Box 4467, Laguna Beach CA 92652. For more information, see Mels Justice Net Homepage: www.melwhite.org. Mel White serves as justice minister for the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. He is the author of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. 8 Open Hands In recent years there has been considerable discussion in the public forum concerning “family values.” This phrase has served to claim an assumed moral high ground for those who express conservative views, a focal point for those espousing centrist views, and a battle cry for extremists. For many such persons, family values are centered around heterosexual marriage. This may explain why this standard has emerged in recent months as the raison d’être for those who have fought against same-sex marriages and the legalization of rights for persons in committed same-sex relationships. Under the banner of family values the public discussion has been shifted from one of “rights” and “the nature of covenants or commitments” to the gender of the individuals in such relationships. While this shift is regrettable, the ongoing discussion does open the possibility of examining the meaning of family, marriage, and covenantal relationships. One need not be conservative politically or religiously to argue that heterosexual marriage is in serious trouble. The conclusion, though, that heterosexual marriage is in trouble because of same-sex covenantal relationships, or that heterosexual marriage would be in deeper trouble through the recognition of same-sex marriages, is fallacious. Heterosexual marriage is in trouble as a result of a complex series of sociological and cultural circumstances and is not under attack by same sex marriages. In fact, the examination of what it means for one person to be in covenant with another person, regardless of gender, may be a helpful tool in repairing heterosexual marriage. One of the first steps in such an examination is to take a closer look at the image of “family” in our society, and to ask the question: “Is this image realistic, adequate, and sustainable?” Family Image: A Look Back An old cliché describes a traditional family as a man, a woman— married of course— 1.8 children, a dog, a cat, and a Dodge mini-van in the garage. While stereotypic, this image is instructive. What becomes immediately obvious is that this description is of an idealized, white, middle-class family— a modern-day version of the 1950s sitcoms “Ozzie and Harriet” or “Leave It to Beaver.” In the haze of familiarity few seem to remember, perhaps even to know, that this stereotypic family of the 1950s was a new model for the family. Prior to the Second World War the predominant model was one of an extended family, with multiple generations present in the same household, all struggling together to make ends meet. Such a family setting was portrayed in the popular television program “The Waltons.” Following the war the economy boomed. With the increase in financial opportunities, newly forming families were encouraged to move out of the multi-generational setting and to establish independent homesteads. Such changes were encouraged by generous financial support from a federal government deeply appreciative of the efforts of those who went to war and those who supported the war efforts. Along with the rise of independent households came a new set of values. No longer were persons satisfied with merely getting along. Stephanie Coontz suggests that there was interest in “producing a whole world of satisfaction, amusement, and inventiveness within the nuclear family…”1 The radio or newspaper was being replaced by television, and the traveling amusement show was replaced by a trip to Disneyland. The automobile moved from luxury, to necessity, to means of expression. The suburbs emerged in response to a new-found freedom and as a result of sociological changes in the cities. The values which were developing from changing economic and sociological realities had no precedent in our history and made a significant impact on the development of the family. Many of the characteristics of the idealized family can be traced into the nineteenth century. As Coontz described in “The Way We Never Were,” the model Victorian middle-class family included the role of the woman as a pampered keeper of the household. Status was determined by the ability to have servants doing the household chores while the man worked outside the home. In the 1950s the gender roles remained basically the same, with the man working outside the home, and the woman, now without servants, serving as the functionary for completing the household chores. Middle-class white families were understood to be centers of domestic tranquillity and familial stability, while ethnic or working class families were thought to be chaotic and unstable.2 The images of tranquil middle-class white families are nostalgically and tenaciously held on to by many of those espousing “family values.” For many persons, though, reality was not as kind as the image. Many of the problems facing families, including violence, divorce, poverty, and abandonment were to be found lurking just below the tranquil surface. Church Image: A Look Back While the 1950s may not have been as idyllic a time as memory paints them, they were a time in which the middle class invested its time and money in the church. Established congregations flourished with middle-class families serving as willing workers and as the economic engines. Peak member- By David Belt The Church and Covenant Relationships: Moving Toward a Renewed Understanding Spring 1997 9 ship often occurred in established churches in the 1950s and early 1960s. New churches began to be built in the suburbs as families left their parental homes and struck out on their own. Church leaders were drawn from these ranks, and have only recently, and often reluctantly, begun to pass on the baton of leadership. Even though this leadership change is now well underway, the values by which these persons lived, and the images of church and family which predominated in their midst, are found to be deeply embedded in the collective memory and structure of congregations. However, the world in which this generation flourished no longer predominates and likely will not be re-created. A new generation of church leadership is left with the task of establishing its own leadership priorities, which includes examination of these images and values for their usefulness in response to today’s reality. This is a process which may well trigger fear of abandoning ethical and moral standards understood as traditional and/or eternal. It is important that new leadership define values and describe models which are relevant to today, and which represent a more complete view of family and covenant. Marriage Re-examined In addition to re-evaluating family models, marriage, as an institution is in need of re-examination. Seldom has there been a monolithic view of the relationship of the church to marriage. Early church eschatological thinking went so far as to suggest that marriage was not particularly helpful, perhaps even dangerous, to the faith of the individuals involved (see 1 Corinthians 7). For many centuries in western Europe, marriage was understood as a civil arrangement in which the church played a minimal role. Marriage “services” were the province of the local secular authorities and involved contractual relationships between families dealing primarily with property. Roman secular authorities conducted marriage services for Christians in the first centuries of the Common Era. Such services had little impact on the faith communities. Even after the church became more involved in marriage services, they continued to reflect the practices of the Roman state.3 The reliance on secular practices for marriage services has resulted in a “curious amalgam of Christian and pagan elements” even to this day.4 According to James F. White, the pagan elements include some of the more familiar elements of modern marriage ceremonies, including: the joining of hands and giving of rings; the wedding banquet with a wedding cake; throwing of rice— a fertility symbol; giving the bride away; bridesmaids dressed alike to confuse evil spirits; the use of a wedding veil to confuse evil spirits; and the offering of money.5 Only slowly did the church take over the primary responsibility for the performance of wedding ceremonies. This change occurred because of a need in the developing legal systems for written documents authenticating the marriage. In many localities one of the few persons who could read and write was the priest. In order for the marriage to be authenticated, the priest had to be present to witness the ceremony and compose the necessary documentation. At first these ceremonies took place in secular places, eventually moving to the steps of the church in order that they might be in the sight of God. The move inside the church resulted from the priest beginning to offer a mass for the couple following the wedding, with the service outside the church and the mass inside.6 During the English Reformation of the sixteenth century, the entire wedding was finally moved into the church. During this time the marriage rite was quite explicit about the intent of marriage as an institution. For example, the rite of the Church of England, still in use, has the line, “with this ring I thee wed.” The next line, “with my body I thee worship,” clearly indicates the sexual nature of the intent for marriage.7 The Reformation was clear that marriage involved sex and was to result in children. The purposes of marriage, according to Reformation leaders, was to: (1) produce children; (2) prevent fornication; and (3) provide mutual help and comfort. English Puritans reversed the order, placing mutual help and comfort first.8 To this day there are persons who would argue the order of these purposes. Ethicist James B. Nelson notes that “…there is little doubt that the present confusion about marriage (and sexual morality in general) is intimately linked with the changing functions and perceptions of the family in our society.”9 Some segments of society have begun to realize the efficacy of broadening the definitions of family, and hence the nature of marriage, to include non-traditional family units. The broadening of the definitions has led to an acknowledgment of the importance and legitimacy of persons choosing to remain single. Families are now beginning to be accepted as including single adults with children, same-sex families, and same-sex families with children. If Nelson is correct, though, such changes will be more than enough to create confusion and consternation for the traditionalist. Changing definitions have also caused a re-evaluation of the meaning and content of marriage rituals. Many clergy have begun to question the nature of the relationship which exists between the state and the church as regards marriage. The state clearly has an interest in establishing the lines of legal and contractual relationships. However, with the decline in numbers of secular officials with the authority or the interest in conducting marriages, it could be argued that clergy have become functionaries of the state. In most localities, the county provides legal documentation to heterosexual couples more ➟ Shifting Justification for Sex …Once same-sex couples can marry, marriage and divorce laws can never again be defined either by the expectation of childbearing or by gender…. Legal same-sex marriage would ratify the… idea that sex is justified instead by the personal happiness of the pair, that interests of the state, family, or property cannot usurp the instructions of the heart…. —E.J. Graff “Something Old…Something New” Ms. May/June 1996, p. 94 10 Open Hands seeking to be married and clergy are required to sign these documents for the marriage to be declared “legal.” (Of course, a couple may still go to a civil “justice of the peace” if one is to be found.) Without these signed documents a couple is not understood to be “legally” married, regardless of what has transpired in sacred ritual. When pressed, persons may acknowledge the validity of being married in the eyes of the church, though seldom would that be understood as “enough.” This has enabled secular authorities to examine the credentials of clergy in order to authorize his or her performance of “legal” marriages, and has blurred the relationship between church and state. The powers of the state to declare legality, to legislate who may legally marry, and to control the clergy in their participation in marriages, along with the continued use of pagan rituals in marriage, indicates that the state of marriage is more secular than sacred. Serving as an exclamation point is the fact that most clergy have had the experience of persons requesting to be married in the church who have never crossed the threshold of a sanctuary, and are likely only to do so again when they are in need of funeral service. The church, by participating in this current, tangled arrangement, not only perpetuates the confusion, but functions as an unpaid agent of the state in property matters. I believe it is clearly time to reestablish the priority of the sacred understanding of marriage as covenantal relationship, regardless of the desires of the state. Covenantal Relationship Explored Holy scripture is clear in its understanding of the importance of covenantal relationships. In scripture such relationships were first established between God and humans, and then between humans. Covenants are central to Judaism, with those established between God and Noah; God and Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and God and Israel as paradigmatic examples. Christianity also honors covenants, both by the extension of the covenants between God and Israel, and with the establishment of covenant through Jesus Christ. The word covenant comes from a Hebrew word which primarily means “a binding pact,” the parties of the pact binding themselves to one another.10 Covenants made between humans are understood to be bound by the terms accepted at the time of ratification. When the covenant is made between God and humans, the terms are those stipulated by God, with humans having the option of accepting or rejecting those terms, though not of changing the terms. Acceptance of the terms stipulated by God will result in being blessed, so long as the covenantal terms are kept, while non-acceptance or breaking of the terms will result in being cursed.11 A similar understanding, that of being blessed by covenant adherence and cursed by non-adherence, exists in covenants between humans. The centrality of covenant to the Christian faith community is exemplified by the use of covenantal language in its liturgical resources. The services of Holy Eucharist contained in The United Methodist Hymnal all use covenantal language, both implicit and explicit, in the Great Thanksgiving, the central part of the service. Similarly, the services of baptism are found under the title, “The Baptismal Covenant,” and make several references to covenant. Particularly relevant to this article, the current Service of Christian Marriage of the United Methodist Church includes rubrics indicating Christian marriage is to be understood as a “…sacred covenant reflecting Christ’s covenant within the church.”12 In its introduction to marriage services, The United Methodist Book of Worship indicates the “Christian marriage is proclaimed as a sacred covenant reflecting the Baptismal Covenant.”13 Informing this use of covenantal language is a theological understanding of mutually affirming, Spring 1997 11 loving relationships in which the participants bind themselves to one another in a manner which reflects the ideal relationship between God and humans. In essence, such affirming, supportive, loving relationships are the visible manifestation of God’s love toward us and serve as a harbinger of the eschatological consummation of that relationship. …I do not unite the covenant members, they unite themselves. Covenant is established between two or more parties; in the case of marriage, between two persons. The presence of clergy in covenant/marriage services is to provide the church’s formal liturgical blessing over the public proclamation of the established covenant, and to represent the community of faith in this sacred moment. For the past several years I have told the persons establishing covenant, and those gathered to witness the vows of covenant, that I do not unite the covenant members, they unite themselves. My function is to join in their celebration and to offer the church’s blessings and admonitions to faithfulness. I am not able to bind them in a unique manner. No waving of my hands or speaking of certain words will establish a covenant that does not exist or prolong a covenant that has ended. Only the constant work of both parties will be able to accomplish the work of covenant. While I believe covenants are intended to be established for life, when one or both persons no longer uphold the covenant by being faithful, supportive, affirming, and loving, that covenant no longer exists. The presence of a signed, secular document does not alter that reality. Neither does the fact that the service of covenant took place in the presence of, or at the direction of, clergy. There are many examples of covenant relationships which have become destructive relationships, and whose covenantal relationships are clearly broken, even though the legal entity continues to exist. As such, these relationships no longer adequately represent Where Does Your Denomination Stand? Here is a brief summary of several denominational stances on issues of same-sex unions. American Baptist: Has two official General Board Resolutions. One states “We affirm that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” The other, in part, calls on American Baptists to “acknowledge that there exists a variety of understandings throughout our denomination on issues of human sexuality such as homosexuality” and to “respect and defend the individual integrity of all persons within our denomination and their Christian commitment as we engage the issue of human sexuality.” Neither is binding on churches/individual Baptists; they do affect policies of national staff. Disciples of Christ: Has no public policy directly related to same-sex unions. The general civil rights resolution (1977, 1993) does not include anything about same-sex relationships. United Church of Christ: In 1996, two national agencies adopted policy statements affirming equal rights for same-sex couples. An educational/advocacy campaign, “Equal Rights In Covenant Life” is beginning. General Synod has made no policy statement on same sex marriage. United Methodist Church: In 1996 General Conference affirmed “the sanctity of the marriage covenant that is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman…. Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall not be conducted in our churches.” It is unclear how or whether this statement can be enforced since it is a “Social Principles” resolution which does not have the weight of church law. God’s covenant with humanity, though they may quite adequately represent the broken nature of humanity. For these reasons, there appears no justification for denying persons of the same gender the opportunity to be united in a holy union. A covenant established between persons of the same gender can be just as fulfilling as those established by heterosexual persons. They should be recognized as being just as valid. It seems inappropriate for the church to be engaged in supporting the state in denying the right of persons to establish covenants. If more attention were paid to developing a greater appreciation for the significance of covenant and its relationship to the covenant between God and humanity, both holy unions and heterosexual marriages would benefit. ▼ Notes 1Stephanie Coontz, “The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trip” in Family: Drawing the Circle Wide, eds. J. Ann Craig and Linda S. Elmiger (New York: General Board of Global Ministries, 1994), p. 53. 2Coontz, p. 54. 3James B. Nelson, Embodiment: An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology (Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1978), p. 132. 4James F. White, Introduction to Christian Worship (Nashville: Abingdon, 1986), p. 238. 5White, p. 239. 6White, p. 240. 7White, p. 241. 8White, pp. 244-245. 9 Nelson, p. 130. 10John R. McRay, “Covenant” in The Dictionary of Bible and Religion, ed. William H. Gentz (Nashville: Abingdon, 1989), p. 229. 11White, p. 229. 12The United Methodist Hymnal (Nashville: The United Methodist Publishing House, 1989), p. 864. 13The United Methodist Book of Worship (Nashville: The United Methodist Publishing House, 1992), p. 115. David Belt is pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church, a reconciling congregation in Kansas City, Missouri. 12 Open Hands Consider the context: here, in the twentieth century, there is a large segment of people, perhaps 10 percent of the population, who acknowledge a same-gender sexual orientation. For this, they are being denounced, vilified, discriminated against, and subjected to emotional and physical violence by society in general. What is an appropriate Christian response to this cultural reality? Instead of being precise about defining the legalisms, the limits, and the punitive consequences of specific actions, we as Christians are constrained to consider this issue within the context of the Christian faith. We worship a God beyond words and beyond legalisms, a God with whom we can commune and from whom we can seek guidance. We worship a God who has come, who continues to come…an immanent God, a God-with-us. This is the truth which Christ came to demonstrate, to teach, and to be. God was in Christ. Christ was God incarnate when he walked among people during his earthly life in his earthly, physical body. After his death, the community of believers became his “Now Body” in the world and were commissioned to continue the witness and ministry which Christ lived out during his time on earth in his “Then Body.” Therefore, for Christians, the basic question, the prior question with regard to all decisions and behaviors, is “What would Jesus do?” What Would Jesus Do? For help in answering this question, we turn to the Gospels to immerse ourselves in the accounts of Jesus’ life and words, praying that the Holy Spirit will be our interpreter as we read. We understand that this will be a spiritual journey and not just an intellectual exercise. What do we see of Christ in the Gospels? We see a person who always goes out to the disenfranchised, the marginal, the shunned, the sinners. His message was unfailingly a message of invitation—“Come”—and his pre-eminent warnings were against exclusion, judgment, legalisms, spiritual self-righteousness, and pride. As far as we know, Jesus never spoke about homosexuality. Issues involving human relationships are where the church gets to act out the gospel claim that Christ receives “all sorts and conditions of people” equally, not with a surreptitious intention to change those people or to subject them to some formula which scrutinizes whether they are, in fact, “worthy.” The guarantee of Jesus’ acceptance is that it is unconditional. Looking at the life and ministry of Jesus we see that the “good people,” the scribes and Pharisees, didn’t seem to mind much when Jesus talked about “whosoever” and about going out to fetch lost sheep, but when he actually sat down to eat, to “consort,” with the outcasts and sinners, a new dimension was introduced. It was the dimension of personal involvement, of acting out. Here, for all to see, was graphic correlation of word and act. Here, “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth.” Here was a demonstration of the perfect integration between how Jesus spoke and how he lived. It was the Word made plain. And it was this “acting out” which infuriated the religious leaders of history. Those meals which Jesus shared with “all sorts and conditions of people” were social occasions with highly symbolic content. They were graphic pictures of genuine acceptance which put reality and life into his words of love, inclusion, and welcome…words which would have rung with a hollow sound in the ears of the rejected masses without the demonstration of their reality. “As acts of joy and of deadly protest against the old order, these meals became parables of the reconciling presence of God in the midst of humanity.”1 Concerns and Responses While 98 percent of the voting Pullen Memorial Baptist Church membership affirmed that “all are welcome and accepted into the worship and fellowship of the Pullen community,” and while 93 percent affirmed “the participation of gay men and lesbians in our congregational life together,” many could not bring themselves to “support and affirm the blessing of same-gender union” and could not support the proposition “that no rituals of the church be denied to any member of Pullen on the basis of sexual orientation alone.” Plaintive questions were often heard. “Why can’t they be content with what’s been offered? Why did they push us so far? Haven’t we done enough already?” For those who had extended themselves to affirm acceptance and participation by homosexuals, the request that the church bless a same-gender covenant seemed an audacious affront. Might it not be possible that this “acting out love” is a witness which our world twenty centuries later needs badly? Might not a church’s reconciling words and welcoming statements made in the name of our Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, and Friend be made graphic and authentic through the total and unequivocal inclusion of homosexual people within the fellowship? Might not going the second mile in blessing a same-gender covenant serve the same purpose for our day that was served by Jesus’ public socializing with marginalized people in his day? Might it not be a sign to the world that a particular body of believers accepts the responsibility of living out the redemptive (often casually used) “good news” words? Other concerns of those who disagreed with Pullen’s decision relate to Pullen’s witness to the world. What kind of message does this send? How can the congregation have the effrontery to By Miriam H. Prichard The Prior Question: A Theological Basis for Blessing Same-Gender Covenants Spring 1997 13 flout cultural norms and traditions? Isn’t it raw ignorance to bypass longheld, time-honored, basically unquestioned principles? In a remarkably comparable incident recorded in Mark 7, Jesus addressed this issue. He was being chastened for a societal infraction which set aside the tradition of the elders. When he was asked, “Why do your disciples not conform to the ancient tradition…?”, Jesus answered, “You neglect the commandment of God in order to maintain the tradition of men…. How well you set aside the commandment of God in order to maintain your tradition!” (Mark 7 5, 8-9, NEB). Clearly, Jesus is saying that the discerning Christian must not substitute the comfort of traditional religious ideas for the arduous spiritual journey into present revelation. A Complex, Risky Quest Some suggest that the query, “What would Jesus do?” is too simplistic. On the contrary, seriously asking the question launches one on a complex and risky quest. Those who ask this prior question must endeavor to learn from extant records of the life and teaching of Jesus what he might do today in each present problematical situation as it arises. This is a daunting task and one which must be approached with a high degree of faith, humility, and caution. This is also a lonely quest because it is a quest predicated on a personal response to the Event of Jesus Christ. In this regard, it is much like the initial conversion experience. Neither the quest nor the outcome can be directed or mediated by another or by creeds, rules, or institutional proclamations. Here, the doctrine of the individual priesthood of believers becomes deeply personal. How can this question be answered? Won’t any answer, at best, be but conjecture…a pitting of perspectives as multitudes of people arrive at widely differing conclusions? Perhaps, but this is the Christian way…that each person answer for his or her particular time and situation, the penetrating searching question which Jesus put to his disciples. Not merely, “Who do these people say that I am?”— but more importantly— “Who do you say that I am? Who am I to you?” If Christians approached every life decision by way of “the prior question,” perhaps there would be a new relevance, vitality, and spiritual awakening within the Christian community. The tired old mode of addressing issues in terms of expedience, convenience, and public approbation would give way to soulsearching appraisals of what must be done by the Now Body of Christ living and witnessing in the present world. Specific Guidance In sum, what specific guidance can be found in the recorded life of Jesus which has relevance for Christians grappling with the issue of blessing same-gender covenants? 1) Jesus always positioned himself on the opposite side of the powerful majority and always on the side of the devalued members of society. 2) Jesus not only spoke on behalf of the sinners, shunned and disregarded, but he demonstrated his acceptance by extending his friendship on social occasions. 3) Jesus was forthright about his priorities, setting aside those conventional mores of the day that he interpreted as being opposed to the “commandment of God.” 4) Jesus reminded his disciples that they must make a personal response to him. In effect, he said, “It doesn’t matter what other people say about me. What do you say?” In an age of bland and commercialized religion which normally is viewed as following a set of rules and standards which most “good” people would agree Vows of Commitment Out of all the people in my life, I choose you, (Beth/Kathie), to be my partner in this relationship of commitment. I, (Beth/Kathie), commit to you my deepest devotion, as a partner, lover and friend. I promise to work, play and dream with you, with passion and honesty, and to stand by you through times of difficulty and sorrow. I will do my best to understand and honor the essential (Beth/Kathie), to pay tender attention to what makes you you, and to help discern what you need to thrive and grow. I pledge to take care of myself. It is only when I am true to myself and love myself that I can support and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I promise to love, honor, and tolerate you. [As anticipated, this got a laugh…] With the help of the source of all love, I will work to make this commitment lifelong. —Beth Healy and Kathie Hopkins Source Vows are reprinted from “Take My Life as My Vow,” Crossbeams (September/October 1996), p. 3. Crossbeams is a newsletter of the Gay, Lesbian and Affirming Disciples Alliance. Used with permission. DANCING TOWARD COMMITMENT: Beth Healy (left) and Kathie Hopkins dance down the aisle as their ceremony begins. more ➟ 14 Open Hands Legal Considerations Most people are familiar with the privileges and responsibilities of marriage. Many are not aware of the practical problems gay couples face because they have no legal recognition. For instance, a gay spouse is not legally next of kin and may not be admitted to intensive care to see his/her spouse in case of critical injury or illness unless the partner’s family grants permission. A natural parent who is gay or lesbian can be denied custody of his or her children solely on that basis, without regard to behavior. Gay partners cannot file joint tax returns. If a gay or lesbian partner dies intestate, the partner inherits nothing. If a gay partner is specified in a will, an estate under $600,000 will pay inheritance tax not required if a married spouse inherited. Gay partners may have to buy two insurance policies to protect their belongings in a single household. If a lesbian or gay couple adopts a child, the adoption must be a single parent adoption by one of them. The other partner has no legally recognized relationship to the child. If a gay natural or adoptive parent dies, the surviving partner has no custody rights over the children, even though he or she has lived with them and been a parent to them. A gay man or lesbian cannot cover a partner or a partner’s child on a health insurance policy. Gay couples with children do not qualify for family membership rates. Special benefits (such as travel to conventions, purchase discounts, flying free) extended by employers to employees’ husbands or wives are generally not extended to gay partners. If a gay man or lesbian is fired from a job or evicted from an apartment solely because his/ her orientation becomes known, there is no legal recourse under federal law…. Reporting anti-gay violence to police may result in prosecution of the victim rather than the assailant. We [the Pullen Memorial Baptist Church Task Force on Same-Gender Covenants] believe these circumstances do not provide fair and equal treatment under the law for all citizens. We would like to see a society whose laws encourage the establishment and maintenance of permanent relationships and stable families, whether the adult partners are same-gender or opposite-gender. Such legal provisions could reduce the promiscuity in both the homosexual and the heterosexual communities. In a few places, domestic partnership legislation [or extension of benefits by corporations] already allows responsible nontraditional families of various kinds to assume the duties and privileges enjoyed by traditional families…. But beyond the need for legal remedies, we recognize the need for a change in society. We hope our action will contribute to new attitudes that more nearly reflect the coming of God’s kingdom: respect for all persons, appreciation of diversity, faithfulness to commitments, and recognition of our common humanity…so that we may become more truly the body of Christ. ▼ Source This material is excerpted from a longer article published in Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants, a task force report of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. Used with permission. Patricia V. Long, who grew up in Virginia, is an office manager in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is a member (since 1979) and former deacon of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church. She is the author of Enlarging the Circle, the story of the process by which her congregation decided to offer celebrations of committed same-sex relationships in the church. She and her partner were the second couple to have such a service at Pullen. on, it is a challenge, opportunity, and inspiration to be part of a congregation where one is straight-forwardly confronted with the ultimate ethical question, “What would Jesus do?” ▼ Note 1Joseph Weber, A Biblical Basis for Reconciling Ministries. This article was written by the late Dr. Joseph C. Weber, Professor of Biblical Theology at Wesley Theological Seminary, and originally published in Manna for the Journey, vol. 1(1). A copy of this paper may be obtained from the Reconciling Congregation Program, 3801 North Keeler, Chicago IL 60641. Source This article is reprinted from Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants, Task Force Report of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church, Raleigh, North Carolina, Submitted April 1993. Used with permission. Miriam H. Prichard is a long-time Pullen member who came to North Carolina from Mississippi by way of Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Now retired from the Wake County School System, she is married and the mother of two children. Closing Words Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness. Now you are two people, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of yours lives together. And may your days be good, and long upon the earth. —Apache prayer Source “Sample Service IX” in Same-Gender Services of Union: A Planning Resource from the Office of Lesbian & Gay Concerns. A booklet published by the Unitarian Universalist Association. By Patricia V. Long Spring 1997 15 Today’s public legal debate about same-sex marriage began in Hawaii in 1990 when a gay male couple and two lesbian couples requested marriage licenses from the state health department. In 1991, when their applications were denied (as expected), the couples appealed to the Hawaii Supreme Court. The state supreme court ruled in May 1993 in the case of Baehr v. Lewin that denying same-sex couples the right to marry amounts to unconstitutional discrimination on the basis of sex (not sexual orientation) unless the state could show a compelling interest in such denials. The case was returned to a lower court, the First Circuit Court of Judge Kevin S. C. Chang, for the state to try to show such compelling interest. Meanwhile in 1995 one state enacted a bill against same-sex marriage and refused to honor such marriages done in other states. In 1996, fifteen additional states enacted similar legislation. Legislators in the remaining thirty-four states are expected to introduce bills in 1997. In 1996, the U.S. Congress passed the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA) and President Clinton signed it. This act defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman and allows a state to not recognize a samesex marriage from another state. In September 1996, Judge Chang heard the arguments of the state of Hawaii. The state argued that Hawaii has a compelling interest in fostering and protecting children and that samesex marriage is incompatible with that goal. On 22 November, a Hawaiian Commission on Sexual Orientation and the Law, appointed by the governor, recommended legalizing same-sex marriage and noted that the Baehr v. Lewin case is “a close parallel” to a landmark ruling in Loving v. Virginia (where the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 1967 that “There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose” for the state of Virginia to prohibit marriage between a white person and a person of another race). Judge Chang on 3 December rejected the argument of the state of Hawaii. He found that “the sexual orientation of parents does not automatically disqualify them from being good, fit, loving, or successful parents” and in fact that children may be assisted because they would be able to obtain protections and benefits that come with marriage. He also noted that in Hawaii and elsewhere people marry for a variety of reasons: having or raising children; stability and commitment; emotional closeness; intimacy and monogamy; the establishment of a framework for a long-term relationship; personal significance; recognition by society; and certain legal and economic protections, benefits, and obligations. He ordered Hawaii to begin issuing same-sex couples licenses immediately. This ruling was a first from a judge in the United States. The next day Chang put the effects of his decision on hold while state officials appeal to Hawaii’s Supreme Court. He said that it would be confusing if gay couples got married and then the high court overturned his ruling. —Editor LOOKING FOR MORE IN LIFE? Retreats/Workshops Gay Men Coming Together in Psycho-Spiritual Community to: * Explore * Challenge * Empower * Encourage * Support * Grow Free Calendar & Brochure Call * 914-439-5815 * Dawn Manor Country Retreat Center Livingston, New York The Hawaii Case: A Summary AD 16 Open Hands Bates, Lee and Wilson has a decorum for it— a long front row of seats— family together— then a space and a single chair for the partner, the roommate, the friend. but usually I am instructed not to say anything about the one who buys the flowers and cries the tears. What kind of secret is love? Two schoolteachers in their nineties from Burlington, a store clerk and a bank teller, a public health nurse and a history instructor— stories of tenderness and trust and hiding so often hover in the over-breathed funeral parlor air, but are not spoken. But this morning will be different. Phil was born and raised in Berwick, used to baby-sit his niece and nephews— more a kid than they. they say he taught them to crack raw eggs on their heads. loved to gamble— roulette, the nightly numbers. soft-spoken. never vindictive. traveled to Florida, Vegas, the Islands. owned his own shop in Kennebunk, retired at sixty, managed a motel for a while. loved David for twenty-seven years, Companions. David was not sure if Phil was Protestant or Catholic. he lived a simple life, decent, kind, full of laughter, the golden rule. sometimes they went to Christmas midnight mass. Bates, Lee and Wilson thought— under the circumstances— Protestant would be safer. I would be safer. And as profligate as the casket spray of sixty-four yellow roses that counted out Phil’s years in beauty, and the suddenly spring-warm of a day with the smell of sea salting the air for burying, is the gift of my freedom to mention—somewhere between the gentle laughter-anecdote about lucky numbers and the dust and ashes prayer where words wound to force an ending— God’s extravagance of embrace for men who love men and women who love women, and these two gentlemen who have been for more than a quarter of a century sharing bread with one another. ▼ Maren C. Tirabassi is a poet and teaches poetry in schools and prisons. She is pastor of Northwood Congregational UCC in Northwood, New Hampshire. By Maren C. Tirabassi “one who shares bread with” Companions Sharing the Stories Spring 1997 17 I had this conversation during the break at the General Conference of the United Methodist Church in April 1996. The delegates had just defeated a proposal that would have allowed United Methodist clergy to officiate at same-gender marriages. He walked away and I was plagued again with the thought that I hadn’t been able to explain my willingness to do weddings for gay and lesbian couples. After General Conference I reflected on this and other conversations. I knew I needed to move my commitment for the care of gays and lesbians from my heart to my head. I needed to find the words to support my convictions. I needed words that encourage people to listen to my position and hopefully to join with me in working toward opening the ministry of the church to all persons. The question “will it last” seems rather foolish. Statistically about one half of all two-gender marriages end in divorce. I’m not sure that the church, or at least some clergy, is concerned with that question as they continue to officiate at one marriage after another. Some clergy change their practice of premarital counseling to almost nothing as they become discouraged with the lack of impact it has on the lives of persons. Some clergy feel that the wedding is a time for people to “use the church” for the beauty and pomp of the wedding. They are moving in the direction of doing weddings as a legal benefit. The Christian wedding is more than a legal action for the benefit of the state and the couple. It is a covenantal agreement witnessed by the church. That covenant is between the couple by and with God. God then participates in the daily life of the couple and provides the element of grace to enable them to forgive, hope, work, and love together. That energy from God for these things, when acknowledged and therefore used as a resource, can help marriages work even today. When the institutional church denies marriage to gays and lesbians, it is as if the church is saying some people are unworthy of that grace of God. That is a direct contradiction to what the church states in other ways. This is a place where the church needs to put its claims into practice. When the church withholds “a means of God’s grace,” we are making choices for God. The grace of God is the source of strength for any person to keep a promise. By denying a covenantal marriage service, we are limiting the possibilities of how the church can work in peoples lives. We are trying to control how God will work in the lives of God’s people. It is not the responsibility of the church to judge or reject the love of any person for another. It is the responsibility of the church to nurture and support every act of love. Jesus said, “I did not come to end the law but to fulfill it.” Love of God and others as self is the fulfillment of the law. Why do we find Two Men’s Devotion Kyle Swihart writes of his and Charles Brown’s commitment ceremony in Dallas, Texas. “…The ceremony…was written by God through me. It was something that I prayed about many times…. Scriptures, messages, and feelings were conveyed to me. They were conveyed without any warning but it was apparent that they were intended to be in our ceremony. Our ceremony was…intended to proclaim our devotion to God, to ourselves, and to each other, but we knew there would be an opportunity to touch others who were attending….” Source “Two Men’s Devotion to God and Each Other” in Crossbeams (September/October 1996), p. 3. Crossbeams is a newsletter of the Gay, Lesbian and Affirming Disciples Alliance. Used with permission. “What do you think of these gay marriages?” “Well, ah, I’m in favor of them. I mean, I would be willing to perform a marriage for a gay or lesbian couple.” “But will it last?” “What do you mean?” “Will they make a lifelong commitment?” “I think so….” it so difficult to understand and support acts of love? The question for the church is not “Will it last?” The question is “What can the church do to help every person fulfill commitments to others?” I believe the answer is to recognize the capability and need for each person to be in a loving relationship. Then do all that can be done to support each person. Reclaim the authority of the church to validate the covenant of marriage. Make the channel of the covenant— marriage— available for all people, straight or gay, and acknowledge that God’s love and grace are for all. ▼ Tom Boller is a district superintendent in the Yellowstone Conference of the United Methodist Church. His charge conference is Huntley United Methodist Church in Huntley, Montana. By Tom Boller The Wrong Question 18 Open Hands At temple Beth-El, the large synagogue in the New York suburbs where I served as associate rabbi before I came to Austin, it was the custom, several times a year, to invite couples celebrating “milestone” anniversaries to attend a special Friday night service. My senior rabbi, Jerome Davidson, would read the names of the couples and they would rise one at a time. He would begin with partners that had been married five years, then ten, fifteen, twenty, and so on. It was always a unique kind of joy to see the couples getting older and older. Occasionally, we’d be lucky enough to witness an elderly pair married fifty-five or even sixty years slowly rising to their feet to be honored. It was always an awesome, moving sight; the congregation would softly “ooh” and “ahh.” Then Rabbi Davidson would read a prayer about “the joys shared and the dark times overcome,” concluding with a plea for God’s continued protection and guidance. An old acquaintance of mine whom I shall call Barry Gold was (and still is) one of the most active, caring, visible members of Temple Beth-El. Barry holds his Ph.D. in Theater Studies. He was a former Sunday school teacher and a volunteer on many temple committees. He is a “character” in the best sense of the word, and a good Jewish soul. Another old acquaintance from my Long Island days, a successful attorney whom I’ll call Jeff Schwartz, also was (and still is) an active and stalwart member of Temple Beth-El. Jeff often served as a member of the usher corps at Beth-El, and I can still picture him greeting worshippers as they entered the impressive Beth-El sanctuary on a Friday night. His hearty “Hello, Steve” and friendly handshake are etched into my memory. Seven or eight years ago, Barry and Jeff approached Rabbi Davidson with a special request. They had been a monogamous, loving, committed Jewish couple for twenty years. They honored Shabbat and the Jewish holidays in their home and in their congregation. I can still in fact picture them sitting together on the far right of the sanctuary, tenth or twelfth row back, every Friday night. And so they asked Rabbi Davidson if he would consider allowing them to rise at the next milestone anniversary service to be blessed in the sight of the congregation. I’m sure that Rabbi Davidson and I must have discussed the question, although the substance of those discussions has faded from my memory. What I do remember—and will never forget— is the Ritual Committee meeting at which we discussed the issue of Barry and Jeff’s milestone anniversary blessing. After explaining the request which had been made of him, Rabbi Davidson began the meeting with the following words: “Friends, I’m going to do this blessing for Barry and Jeff because I believe that is the right thing to do. What I want to discuss with you is how I should carry this out. That’s what I want to hear your feelings on tonight.” You can probably imagine how tense that meeting was. You know: the kinds of meetings or conversations from which you emerge with those huge, embarrassing perspiration rings under your arms?… Yes, that intense! One of the things that I learned that night, and have learned again since, is that when it comes to questions surrounding gay issues, a person’s age or even general political leanings are not necessarily predictive of their attitudes; not the least, when the issue ceases to be theoretical and hits close to home. There were surprises all around the table. One of the senior members of the committee—a woman in her eighties— seemed to have no great problem with the blessing. “Mazal tov for them,” she said. Later, though, when she fully realized what was being considered, she said, “But doesn’t the Torah say it’s a sin?” Another member of the committee, an educated white-collar professional who was to my mind (up to that point) a thoroughly decent fellow, referred to Barry and Jeff with an anti-gay epithet so ugly and crude that my jaw literally dropped when I heard it. And then there were the folks who simply said, “Barry and Jeff? Gay?! Really!?” It was truly an amazing meeting. Many key issues were discussed that night. “What message will this send to our kids who are there?” (“A good message of tolerance and understanding,” said one member.) “Will the parents of the next morning’s b’nei mitzvah1 be embarrassed?” (“It’s Barry and Jeff’s simcha2; what is there for them to be ashamed of,” said another.) But the most memorable exchange of the evening for me occurred when the conversation turned to “whether we really want to endorse homosexuality.” Now although you work really, really hard as an assistant rabbi, one of the advantages of that position is that Resolution of Reform Judaism Member congregations of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations are called to: — Encourage lesbian and gay Jews to share and participate in worship, leadership, and general congregational life; — Develop educational programs in the synagogue and community which promote understanding and respect for lesbians and gays; — Employ people without regard to sexual orientation…; — Recommend to the CCAR (Central Conference of American Rabbis) Committee on Liturgy that it develop language that is liturgically inclusive. —Passed by the biennial convention of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations in Chicago in 1987 The Meaning of a Jewish Blessing By Steven Folberg Spring 1997 19 if you choose to, you can stay neutral of explosive congregational issues. But at that point, sitting and listening to the rest of the group, I felt that the time had come to speak up. I raised my hand and, glancing nervously at my senior rabbi, I put in my proverbial two cents. “Look,” I said, “I don’t really think that this is a matter of ‘endorsing homosexuality.’ More to the point, since we’re talking about a blessing for Jeff and Barry, in order to truly understand what’s at stake here, you first have to consider what the function of a blessing is in Judaism. To say a blessing is to call your own attention to something in your life for which you are grateful, something special or holy which might otherwise go unnoticed. That’s why our sages tell us that we must strive to recite no fewer than one hundred blessings a day; that’s the extent to which we’re supposed to be sensitive to the miracles of life and existence. We’re supposed to constantly remind ourselves of God’s presence in our lives. ‘Thank you God: for the bread on my table, for my child’s first steps, for the chance to do this mitzvah.3’” “Somebody used the word homophobia earlier. Well, am I homophobic?” I asked (only semi-rhetorically). “Yes, I am. I clearly do not understand the physicality of Jeff and Barry’s relationship. Indeed, on some level— sexuality being the basic element of the human personality that it is— the thought of their intimacy is profoundly uncomfortable and threatening to me. But that, too, is not the issue; I need not understand how Jeff and Barry relate to each other on that level. There are, however, things that I do understand: love, devotion, faithfulness, the desire to know that you are never alone in the struggles and triumphs of life. Those things I do comprehend.” “And so,” I said, “to me the question is this. Here we have two Jews who love each other, are committed to each other, and have been faithful to each other for twenty years. Will we or will we not allow them to thank God for what they share, and have shared, in the sanctuary of our synagogue? That is the most important question.” In the end, the blessing did take place. Listening to the feedback of the Ritual Committee, Rabbi Davidson de- Friends Meeting Affirms Same-Sex Marriage At the first Meeting for business of the newly formed Northampton Friends Meeting in February 1994 the following minute was joyfully adopted: Same-Sex Marriage The Meeting affirms the goodness of committed, loving relationships and offers recognition and support to those who share this ideal and desire to enter into a permanent relationship based upon it. By tradition, the Meeting recognizes committed union in a celebration of marriage under the care of the Meeting. The same loving care and consideration will be given to both same-sex and heterosexual applicants as outlined in Faith and Practice. The Meeting shares a vision of a future that extends all the same rights to homosexual couples as are now enjoyed by heterosexual couples under the law. The Meeting’s vision of marriage will not be complete until the unification of the legal and the spiritual is complete and available to all. Source From “Minute on Sexual Orientation,” a two-page document dated 9 June 1996. Available from Bruce Hawkins, 61 Henshaw Avenue, Northampton MA 01060. Used with permission. cided to have Barry and Jeff stand up together for their blessing, but only after all of the other, married couples had been blessed. Rather than extemporize a prayer, he carefully wrote his words out in advance. Sadly, I missed the blessing that evening, since I was away with the youth group at a retreat. But from what I heard, there were more than a few tear-filled eyes in the pews that night. ▼ Notes 1Plural of bar or bat mitzvah, i.e., the youth being honored. 2Joyous occasion. 3Commandment; religious act. Source This story was the first part of a D’var Torah (sermon) preached by Rabbi Steven Folberg on Rosh Hashanah Morning, 1996/5757, in which he invited his congregation to consider adopting the inclusive resolution of the UAHC. Copyrighted by Steven Folberg. Used with permission. Steven Folberg served for six years as assistant and associate rabbi at Temple Beth- El of Great Neck, New York. He currently serves as senior rabbi of Congregation Beth Israel in Austin, Texas, where his congregation is considering adopting the inclusive resolution. He is married to Saundra Goldman, a writer and curator in the field of contemporary art. 20 Open Hands In August 1988, The United Church of Canada made a landmark decision that sexual orientation would not be grounds to exclude from membership or from ministry. “We affirm our acceptance of all human beings as persons made in the image of God regardless of their sexual orientation.” The church declared that all people, regardless of sexual orientation, are accepted as full members with all rights and privileges. Some people feared, and others hoped, that this decision would open the doors to even wider tolerance and acceptance. “Why we might even have people of the same gender getting married in our churches!” declared one outraged opponent. And so they are. Many clergy and congregations officiate at same gender-covenanting services. Several United Church congregations have explicit policies supporting this. Trinity-St. Paul’s Statement Changes Last September, at Trinity-St. Paul’s United Church in downtown Toronto, Teresa Burnett and her life-partner Ruth Cole exchanged rings and vows in a ceremony of celebration and commitment. Candles were lit. Family members read scripture. Rev. Joan Wyatt officiated. “God comes to us in relationship,” explained Wyatt, and so “it’s natural” to want to draw us together and “invoke God’s presence now and in the ongoing relationship.” The Trinity-St. Paul’s congregation has traveled far since its earliest discussions of homosexuality. In the early 1980s the presence of an openly lesbian candidate put the issue squarely in front of the congregation. The debate at first was rancorous, at times painful. But by the time Burnett and Cole held their covenanting, the congregation had a clearly developed policy of inclusion and acceptance, including same-gender covenanting. In 1994, Trinity-St. Paul’s embarked on a process to become an “Affirming Congregation” within The United Church. This program, sponsored by Affirm United, provides resources, a process, and consultants to enable congregations to learn, change, and become more inclusive of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. A committee was formed in the congregation to guide the process. Subsequent meetings and congregational study sessions looked at all aspects of congregational life. In a series of educational sessions, the congregation was invited to watch videos, talk about their own feelings, and hear personal stories. The final stage of the process included a review of the congregation’s mission statement to specifically include lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. An “affirming congregation” statement and “affirmative action policy” completed the process. The board approved a policy statement amending the congregations mission statement as follows: “We affirm that all who seek to live faithfully, regardless of ability, age, ethnicity, gender, race, or sexual orientation, are full participants and we urge all to take responsibility in the life, membership, and leadership in the church.” While the congregation was basically supportive of sexual orientation issues, it was recognized that further work was needed “to carry forward the work involved in becoming a congregation that affirms people of all sexual orientations” particularly in areas such as “pastoral care, outreach to other congregations, awareness building, and development of same-gender covenanting services.” It was clear to Wyatt and others at Trinity-St. Paul’s that amending the mission statement automatically paved the way for same-gender covenanting. “Becoming an affirming congregation meant that we would do same-gender covenanting,” said Wyatt. “That has been the case for awhile, but now we are open about it and are explicitly stating that’s who we are and this is what we do.” Initially, the congregation agreed that the same policy would be applied to same-gender couples as for heterosexual ones; that is, that couples had to be actively connected to the congregation. The congregation does not perform marriages “off the street,” as Wyatt put it. However, the policy was later amended to be more inclusive of homosexual than heterosexual couples. “We realized we needed to offer services to all [same-gender] couples regardless of whether they are members at Trinity- St. Paul’s,” said Wyatt, because there are so many congregations that are still exclusive. “They may not be able to have same-gender covenanting within their own congregation.” A policy change to this effect passed easily at the Official Board. Trinity-St. Paul’s has just added a line to its masthead declaring that it is an Affirming Congregation. First United Engages in Discernment Same-gender covenanting was much more of an issue at First United Church in Ottawa. Opposition to the issue of ordination had been stronger. Opinions were still divided, and feelings high, when the congregation received a request in October 1991, to permit a same-gender covenanting between two lesbian members. Rev. Sharon Moon conveyed the request to the Session of Elders and launched what she describes as “a very By Alyson Huntly Congregations in The United Church of Canada develop policies for celebrating same-gender covenanting. Steps on a Journey Spring 1997 21 powerful process.” Two elders on Session, not previously out in the congregation, came out to the session at that first meeting. “It was a movement of the Spirit,” says Moon. “The request enabled two lesbians to come out. And our whole community made a choice to risk faithfulness and solidarity.” The Session felt that because the request had such enormous implications for the congregation it needed to be dealt with by the Official Board (the governing body). Official Board in turn, decided to take the matter to the whole congregation. In good United Church fashion, a committee was established— a committee of people who were supportive, people who weren’t, and at least one person who was openly gay. Elder Sybil Brake was part of that committee. She wasn’t out when she started, but “my involvement in the process meant coming out to the whole congregation. I felt called to do that, despite initial trepidation. Unless you can be yourself in the church, what’s the point? It turned out to be the third liberating experience of my life.” The committee met and began to work out a process for getting congregational involvement. It was very threatening for many—for closeted gays and lesbians fearful they would lose a supportive community, for people openly homophobic, for adults who had experienced abuse as children. Says Moon, “There were all these pastoral care needs. At the same time, it was incredibly healing for many people.” The congregation held what they called a “day of discernment” to discuss the request and its implications. “We were setting a precedent,” said Clerk of Session, Norman Ball. “Whatever we decided on this one request would be our policy.” Study kits and a copy of the request letter were given to all members. People were invited to pray, and questions for personal reflection were provided. Several “meet the gays and lesbians you are worshipping with” gatherings were held to help build congregational awareness. The discernment day itself began with Sunday morning worship, Taizestyle, with lots of silence, and no sermon. “There was no preaching about the issue,” said Moon, “just an invitation to listen to the Spirit.” People met over lunch to review First United’s mission statement, talk about what members valued about the congregation, and hear a history of the process. This was not a day to take a vote, it was a day to listen. The Official Board would make the decision, according to United Church policy, but it would be informed by this day. The discernment process then continued with information about covenanting ceremonies, including reading a liturgy from a recent ceremony. A crucial element of the process was the sharing of losses and opportunities. Rather than pro/con or for/against, these were lists the congregation compiled of things that might be lost and gained, which ever way the decision went. Everyone, regardless of their opinion, was invited to share in the compiling of these lists. This process broke down barriers— people supportive of the request named some of the potential losses for those who were opposed. People who were opposed were able to see opportunities for the congregation in a decision that they did not support. There were moments of pain, moments of anger, signs of struggle, and always a sense of the presence of the Spirit as the congregation paused frequently through the meeting for silent prayer. In March 1992, the Official Board met to make its final decision. It voted, 17 for, 6 opposed, “to accept the proposal for the performance of holy union ceremonies at First United Church between same-sex couples.” The Board noted that space was still needed to respect differing points of view, and the criteria would have to be worked out. The current policy is that the same guidelines apply as for heterosexual weddings. No one left the church over this issue. Even those who disagreed with the final decision acknowledged that they felt heard and respected in their opinions. The decision, and the discernment process had a tremendous impact. According to Moon, it “has influenced everything we’ve done since. It has given us a model for decision-making, a model for dealing with differences.” Sybil Brake is still an elder at First United. In fact, she has just been elected the Clerk of the Session, the highest elected office in the congregation. Says Brake, “the discernment process and the outcome set off a ripple effect that is still going on six years later. I have a sense that, in our congregation, the lions and the lambs are at ease with each other.” Lesbians and gays within the United Church of Canada are asking the church to recognize and celebrate their relationships. The United Church does not yet have a national policy on samegender covenanting, although Affirm United, as an advocacy organization, along with some presbyteries, has requested that a supportive policy be developed. These two congregations are amongst several within our denomination that have taken seriously the decision of our national church to “work out the implications of orientation and lifestyles in light of Holy Scripture.” In other words, our church is committed to continuing to grow, change, and be transformed as we seek justice for gays and lesbians in church and society. ▼ Alyson Huntly is a United Church diaconal minister, a lesbian, and a mother of three. She is editor of Consensus, the journal of Affirm United (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and their friends in The United Church of Canada). 22 Open Hands The theme of this issue of Open Hands prompted me to call the editor with a suggested article. As I explained how my partner and I have been together for over eight years yet still don’t have the ability to reside permanently together in either of our countries, tears of desperation choked my words. Ironically, just weeks later, I write with the assurance of having been allowed to apply for permanent residency in the U.S. without delay. Our Journey Jean and I met overseas in 1988. We were resource persons at an international conference sent respectively by church bodies we worked for in the U.S. and United Kingdom (U.K.). Our relationship developed and grew in commitment, sustained by long letters, expensive telephone calls, and costly airplane tickets. After three years of this “long-distance” relationship, Jean moved to the U.K. to join me and look for work in the hope of staying there permanently. Since our relationship was not recognized by the U.K. government, residency privileges were denied. Jean arrived with a tourist visa, “no employment allowed, good for six months.” In fact, her simply looking for work in the U.K. was illegal and grounds for immediate deportation. Nearing the end of the six months, and with still no employment in sight, Jean faced the interrogation of U.K. immigration officials to renew her visa. “You’ve already been here for six months, why do you want to return?” “Where are you employed?” “Why is your vacation taking so long?” “What is your means of support?” Having slightly embellished the truth to gain another tourist visa, Jean endured six more months of learning that no prospective U.K. employer wished to undertake the legal hassle of employing a foreigner. When she was offered work in the U.S. by her former employer, we decided to try the reverse situation. I came to the U.S. I entered on a tourist—“employment prohibited”— visa with much the same restrictions as Jean had had. This visa was good for only three months; I had to keep returning to the U.K. to gain additional tourist visas as these could not be renewed by going to any country contiguous to the U.S. or the Caribbean Islands. It was now my turn to experience the humiliation, helplessness, and hurt engendered by immigration officials’ questions. After three such round trips, I finally met an employer willing to file the papers to apply for a work permit. However, this permit gave us just one year’s security! A renewal of the work permit granted me a further three years, which then gave us a little breathing space to figure out the best way to petition for a permanent residency. However, the work permit I now held was a “non-immigrant” one good for an aggregate six years during my entire lifetime! Gaining permanent residency through that employer and visa was not an option. Following the advice of our immigration lawyer (all fees were paid by us), I applied for permanent residency on the basis of my work which is, ironically, helping fellow immigrants acculturate to the U.S., not the least through English language acquisition. Thus began a grueling process of “proving myself” worthy of being allowed to stay in the U.S.— “in the national interest,” the government called it. For months I collected documentation and recommendations. When my petition was denied, I appealed and to further “prove” my worth had to ask professionals who had never met me to write letters of support for the type of acculturation and teaching I advocate. Try securing letters of support from people in national positions who have never heard of you! When this appeal was denied, I was crest fallen. What did the U.S. government want? Why did I have to “prove” myself just to remain in the country with the woman I love? A heterosexual partner of a bi-national couple would never have had to go through this! Their relationship would have been sufficient because it would have been considered legitimate. On my third and final appeal, I submitted even more documentation, now backed up by academic tomes found amidst hours of library research. All in all, the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service received a stack of papers from me that reached over three inches in height with thirty-five appendixes! I submitted four petitions, was denied three times, appealed three times and was finally granted permission to apply for permanent residency without delay in late 1996— a full four years into the legal process. If at this point you feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the process, just imagine the stress of living it! My Reflections Many other aspiring immigrants face similar marathons to mine. However the injustice facing bi-national lesbian and gay couples is that our family ties, love, commitment, and faithfulness carry no legal weight whatsoever. We cannot apply for permanent residency based on our committed relationship alone. Yet heterosexual binational engaged or married couples are automatically granted permanent residency and subsequently the right to apply for citizenship. The so-called Defense of Marriage Act, passed by the U.S. Congress in the summer of 1996, specifically denies immigration privileges to the life-partners of lesbian or gay U.S. citizens. Ironically, current immigration laws in the U.K. indicated that now that I have permission to reside permanently in the U.S., my partner’s chances of gaining residency in the U.K., based on our By Anonymous Experiences of a Bi-National Lesbian Couple Spring 1997 23 relationship, are virtually annulled. I guess they figure one country is enough; we gays and lesbians ought to be happy and leave it at that. My journey to accept my lesbian identity in a heterosexually-oriented society (and related fears of intimacy) may have led me to seek a relationship which initially offered safe distance. Could it be for similar reasons to these, in addition to proportionally higher education levels and concurrent international opportunities among lesbians and gays, that there is a higher percentage of bi-national lesbian and gay couples than heterosexual couples?1 I find this questioning hasn’t proved helpful. It leads me to turn the injustice of the situation back on myself, blaming myself, the victim, for getting into this complicated labyrinth of immigration exclusions, which certainly aren’t of my making! The stresses endured by bi-national lesbian and gay couples are enormous. These stresses exist in addition to those routinely experienced by lesbian and gay couples in a heterosexist/homophobic society. I don’t know if I could have tolerated this long drawn-out process without my spiritual resources, a United Methodist Reconciling congregation, and the support of friends and professionals. In the course of this process I’ve felt both negative and positive dependency. For a good many years I have been dependent on others’ decisions about my situation, and this has mostly been a debilitating experience: immigration rulings, restrictive legislation, voluminous appeals. However, a positive kind of dependency has also emerged—“letting go, and letting God.” I realized everything has its own pace, and that, as individuals, we can’t really “push the river,” no matter how desperately we want to. My eyes have been opened to advocacy for the deserved rights of lesbian, gay, and other forms of liberation. I’ve also gained courage in asking for help from many different sources, especially from my church community and from people who can use their positions of authority to influence others (employers, related professionals, state and federal representatives). For now I realize that, together, we can indeed “divert the course of the river”! My approval notice from the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service demonstrates that. Friends who have supported us throughout our quest to live freely and permanently in one another’s countries ask us “How do you keep going?” Jean answers, “Our relationship is a gift from God. The grace of God has kept us together.” I answer “I’m just plain stubborn— we’ve come this far, I’m not going to let them make me give up now!” ▼ Note 1Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force Newsletter (Summer 1996) New York, New York. The writer of this article resides on the East Coast. She asked to remain anonymous while her application for permanent residency is checked by the FBI, a routine procedure. She is unwilling to jeopardize the fruits of eight years’ efforts. Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. AD 24 Open Hands Years ago a baby was born. The parents had wanted children and were thrilled when they conceived. They watched with amazement as the pregnancy developed. They talked about how life would be different when they were parents. They talked of their hopes and dreams for their little one. They negotiated names. Unlike today, they didn’t know what the baby’s sex was prior to birth. Even immediately after the baby was born, whether it was a girl or boy wasn’t known. As the baby lay on its mother’s still-swelled abdomen, already nursing from her breast, all three— mom, dad, and baby—glowed with the exhilaration and exhaustion of new life. Finally, they remarked to each other “What a precious gift from God!” “Isn’t our son special?” The parents and the son, whom they named Mark, went through the normal succession of events in a child’s life. They struggled with fatigue as he awakened time and again in the middle of the night. They delighted at the first smile; held out their arms in expectation as he took his first step; did battle seemingly with him over his need to control when he would finally be potty trained; and cried tears when he had his first day at school. As he grew older, they continued to say to one another “What a precious gift from God!” and “Isn’t our son special?” But other feelings were also expressed: “I just wish he would do what I ask!” “Why does he have to be so independent?” “Did he really come from our family?” “I hope the day comes when a responsible bone shows up in his body.” He was a pretty typical kid, in a lot of ways, except one. Mark was gay. He knew it, he says, from the time he was old enough to remember anything. As he grew up, he went through the motions of dating girls, knowing that was expected of him and also thinking that it might change how he felt; but it didn’t. Finally, he came to terms with who he was and began to seek out other men like himself. Mark lived in fear of coming out to his parents. He knew they would be disappointed that he wouldn’t follow the traditional path of marriage. He knew they would be disappointed that he wouldn’t give them the grandchildren they very much wanted. Would he be rejected by them? To complicate matters, Mark came from a royal family. His dad was the king. To not have an heir to inherit the throne was a big issue. Mark knew that he had two choices. He could go deep into the closet and simply go through the motions of marriage and having children in order to appease his parents. In a royal family this would be relatively simple to pull off. Having lovers would be possible; people would help him to keep that secret. But he wanted more out of life than to try to keep a lid on a secret. He wanted more than to live under false pretenses. In his relative youth he had the wisdom to know deep within himself that he would be miserable. So he considered his other choice: come out to his parents. Somehow, deep within his being, Mark thought that the bond he had with his parents would hold his family together— eventually. He figured his coming out would at first trigger his dad’s incredible temper. He feared that outburst. He also feared that his mother would cry about this so much that she would eventually fall apart. And yet, he held onto his innate sense that his parents, given time, would support and love him as they always had in his life. So he chose to come out. One day, the expected conversation about marriage and an heir came up. With incredible courage, Mark said to his parents, “I would like to get married someday, but I don’t think I will ever find a woman I want to marry. When I marry, I know it will be to a man.” It was an unusual way to come out. But his parents got the message. First there was a loud, pregnant silence. Then, they responded as he expected. His mom began to cry and his father raised his voice: “How could you do this to us?” Mark withdrew into his chair and shook as he watched his parent’s reaction to his news. Their reaction was strong and honest. They parted that day not able to embrace each other the way they usually did. It was a very painful time for all three of them. Mark kept his distance over the next couple of days. He came and went as usual. He spoke to his parents only when necessary. They were polite, but distant. Finally, after a few days of brewing, talking, and crying behind closed doors, Mark’s parents asked to speak with him again. “Mark,” his dad said, “I have loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you when you were born. I have celebrated your uniqueness. I have had dreams for your future. Your news this week caused me to question if I could still dream for you and celebrate your life and love you. At first, I thought I could not. Then, as I watched you come and go in near silence, I realized that I still love you. I realized that even though your dreams for yourself may be different from mine, my love for you and longing for happiness and fulfillment for you had not changed. I also Midrash: “Any of the rabbinical commentary and explanatory notes on the Scriptures written between the beginning of the Exile and c. A.D. 1200.” —Webster’s New World College Dictionary, Third Edition By Susan Palmquist A Modern Midrash Sermon Based on Matthew 22:1-14 R.S.V.P. Spring 1997 25 realized that the uniqueness I began to see so soon after you were born is some of what is emerging in your identity now. As I celebrated that when you were a baby—even though at times I rolled my eyes at it— so now, I celebrate who you are— uniquely.” His mother added, “Mark, all we ask is that you honor and respect us by including us in your life. Include us in your joys and sorrows. Allow us to be there for you. We will always love you and hope for you in your future.” As anyone who has come out to their parents knows, the kind of response Mark got from his was highly unusual. Mark knew that and honored them for their gracious welcoming of who he really was into their lives. Over the years, Mark dated numerous men. Finally, he met the person he wanted to spend his life with. He and Samuel began to dream of a celebration of their relationship. Eventually, they went to Mark’s parents and asked for their blessing. To Mark and Samuel’s amazement, Mark’s parents wanted to have a wedding celebration for them. His mom and dad were so excited, they began to make plans for them before they were even done telling their news. Seeing the incredible support from them, Samuel and Mark couldn’t refuse. It is here that today’s biblical text comes in. The king sent word to all the people that there would be a wedding. He invited them to come for the celebration. As was customary, no time was set, and when the celebration was ready, the king sent his servants to proclaim that the wedding banquet was ready. Like today in our world, homophobia was rampant in this community. Word had leaked out that the wedding was of the king’s son to another man, and people began to talk among themselves that this was wrong. So when word came that the feast was ready, they began to tell the servants excuses. “I cannot come” they said again and again. Their excuses were varied. Some were better than others. Well, the king didn’t excuse them. Having business or family priorities wasn’t enough for him. The king had expected the people to respond to his invitation. Even if they didn’t understand what was happening, he at least expected obedience. When word got out that some of the people had become violent and had killed some of his servants, he became furious. Becoming protective of his son, he began to lash out. He told his soldiers to kill the ones who had killed his people. The city was burned. It was a horrible tragedy. The king wasn’t about to let the people have the victory, though. He sent his servants out again to gather people for the wedding feast. He told them to invite whoever they could find. Finally, people began to come. People with whom the king had never had any dealings came. Men, women, children, people who were poor, who had physical and mental disabilities came—prepared to celebrate with the king. The rumors had reached them and most came in genuine respect for the king and his son and his new spouse. But some came simply out of curiosity. Some came and were emotionally distant, as if what they were observing was simply a circus, a freak show. The king saw this. Again it triggered his anger. “Where are your wedding clothes?” It was as if he was asking, “How come you are here if you are less than supportive of the love that is proclaimed this day?” The king threw out these people and cursed them. This is a difficult story. It is a story of wanting to celebrate love, but coming up against the walls of hatred, of social paranoia, of fear that tries to keep people out, that tries to deny people’s love. It is a story of response and lack of response to an invitation that brings out pent-up and unchecked fear and anger. It is a story that begins and ends with the deepest and most sacrificial kind of love that is possible for human beings, but that reveals the most frightening underbelly of evil humanity as well. It is a story that interplays good and evil, love and hate, as does the story of Jesus’ life and death. We are given an invitation in life. And we are asked to respond. The invitation is to love of the deepest kind. It is human love. It is divine love. Prepared for us is the feast of life. What is our response? There certainly are reasons for some to choose not to come to this particular table this day. However, as human beings we are summoned to respond with more than an outsider’s curiosity to the larger banquet of love and life, of celebrating uniqueness, of proclaiming joy in creation. This is a banquet that we are asked to go to with more than hushed tones. It is a banquet for which there is no room inside closet walls. So let us come. Let us come like new parents holding out our arms to feel love and life in ways that we never could fully know before. Let us come to the banquet of love— of life. Amen. ▼ Susan Palmquist is a United Methodist clergywoman from the West Ohio conference. Currently she is working as a hospital chaplain in St. Louis, Missouri. She is part of Lafayette UMC (an unofficial but very reconciling church). Mother and daughter: Susan lives with her daughter, Leslie Cerny, in St. Louis. You’re Invited R.S.V.P 26 Open Hands Sustaining the Spirit A Hymn for the Blessing of a Commitment Text and tune by Timothy Kocher-Hillmer Be for us a model of how to live our lives. With your love before us our search for wholeness thrives. Through daily new beginnings community arrives. Help us push the boundaries while learning how to bend. Firmly pushing truth-ward with unity our end. God’s vision now enjoins us as lovers and as friends. God’s love is a model replacing status quo helping us to vision a way of letting go. As future turns to present together let us grow. Let us love together with living peace our goal. Justice then shall follow our lives transformed and whole by loving God who makes us with heart and mind and soul. © 1994 Timothy Kocher-Hillmer Used with permission. To reprint these words for any purpose or to obtain music for this hymn, please contact Timothy Kocher-Hillmer, 969 Lilac Street, Pittsburgh PA 15217-2228. Phone: 412/521-7746. Timothy Kocher-Hillmer, a member of LC/NA and a life-long Lutheran, is a “worship activist” and meditator who works with local and national groups creating worship experiences with and for anyone who wants to push the boundaries. Song for a Holy Union Text and tune by Amanda Udis-Kessler All our lives we’ve been taught the way to feel, the way to care. If that’s not the way we are, we’re told we’re wrong. But we celebrate today the fact that love will find a way Past the barriers of ignorance and hate, for love is strong. Refrain: The state decrees are missing but this union can’t be broken. Today we live in thankfulness that God through love has spoken. The bond that you’ve created here let no one put asunder As you live your lives in peace with hope and love and wonder. All the work that you’ve put in has not been wasted or lost. You have built a base of strength on which to grow. There are always those who say that you can’t do what you have done. Let this moment be your testament, and let the doubters know: Refrain. Bless this house and all assembled here. God, keep this couple in Your sight. may the threads of their lives tangled Weave a tapestry of light, a tapestry of light. All the days that lie ahead will show the meaning of your bond. We are here for you, whatever you may need. Keep your home a place of joy. Keep your hearts a place of rest. Let your love shine through each thought and word and deed. Refrain. © 1988, 1993 Amanda Udis-Kessler Used with permission. To reprint these words or to obtain the music, contact Amanda Udis-Kessler, PO Box 1814, Cambridge MA 02238. Phone: 617-273-9462. Amanda Udis-Kessler is a musician and writer in the Boston area. A member of Arlington Street Church, she hopes to be a minister some day. Tapestry of Light Be for us a model Spring 1997 27 Selected Resources Basics on Same-Sex Unions Boswell, John. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe. New York: Vintage, 1994. Boswell presents evidence that “at one time the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches not only sanctioned unions between partners of the same sex but sanctified them—in ceremonies that bear striking resemblance to heterosexual marriage ceremonies”—and he reproduces actual examples. Brooten, Bernadette J. Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1996. After you read Boswell, read this one, which offers evidence of marriages between women in the ancient Roman world. A major new contribution. Hunt, Mary E. “You Do, I Don’t,” in Open Hands (Fall 1990), pp. 10-11. Order from RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago IL 60641. This feminist theologian explores three concerns she has about lesbian/gay marriage ceremonies. Long, Patricia V. Enlarging the Circle: Pullen’s Holy Union Process. This 105-page monograph details the decision-making process of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. To order, write to 1805 Hillsborough Street, Raleigh NC 27605. McNeill, John. Freedom, Glorious Freedom. Boston: Beacon, 1995. See especially ch. 9, “Coming Out Through a Public Rite of Covenanted Union.” Pullen Task Force on Same-Gender Covenants. Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants. Submitted April 1993. Some excellent articles from this local Baptist church’s process. See Long’s and Prichard’s in this issue. Others focus more specifically on biblical issues. To order, write to 1805 Hillsborough Street, Raleigh NC 27605. Sherman, Suzanne, ed. Lesbian and Gay Marriage: Private Commitments, Public Ceremonies. Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1992. Legislation and Domestic Partner Benefits Eskridge, William N. Jr. The Case for Same-Sex Marriage: From Sexual Liberty to Civilized Commitment. New York: Free Press, 1996. This attorney and law professor at Georgetown University offers a strong argument (for both liberal and conservative reasons) for supporting gay and lesbian marriage. He believes legal same-sex marriage will civilize both gays and straights. Freedom to Marry: Questions and Answers. A pamphlet on The Marriage Project, Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. 666 Broadway, Suite 1200, New York NY 10012-2317. 212/ 995-8585. A small pamphlet explores some basic questions: Why do we need “gay marriages”? What about domestic partnership? Isn’t marriage really about procreation? and others. Fried, Barbara and others. Domestic Partner Benefits: A Case Study. Human Resource Monograph Series. Stanford: Stanford University College and University Personnel Association, 1992. This monograph summarizes Stanford’s review of domestic partner questions, with a short summary of other institution’s benefits and an exploration of costs and legal ramifications. Perry, Troy. “The Wedding: A Demonstration for the Rights of Lesbian, Gay and Bi Couples,” in Equal Rites. eds. Kittredge Cherry and Zalmon Sherwood. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995, pp. 106-109. Perry explains briefly why he organized the wedding event in front of the Internal Revenue Service building and then provides the text of the mass ceremony. To Have and To Hold: Organizing for Our Right to Marry. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 1995. Order from NGLTF, 2320 17th Street NW, Washington DC 20009. Same-Sex Union Ceremonies Affirm/Affirmer. Covenant Services of Commitment for Same Gender Couples. The United Church of Canada. Available from Affirm United, Box 333, Station Q, Toronto, Ontario M4T 2M5 Canada. Butler, Becky, ed. Ceremonies of the Heart: Celebrating Lesbian Unions. Seattle: Seal, 1990. A collection of liturgies and more. Weidig, Jane C. ed. Blessing Ceremonies: Resources for Same-Gender Services of Commitment. United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns, 1993. Order from UCCL/GC, 18 N. College Street, Athens OH 45701. Cherry, Kittredge and Zalmon Sherwood, eds. Equal Rites: Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies, and Celebrations. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995. A unique collection of worship services, ceremonies and celebrations—for many different times in the lives of lesbians and gay men. See especially the sections on funeral and memorial services and on covenant rites for couples. Same-Gender Services of Union: A Planning Resource from the Office of Lesbian and Gay Concerns. Unitarian Universalist Association, 25 Beacon Street, Boston MA 02108. This resource includes discussion of the parts of a union service, sample services, and other practical materials. Children’s Books These three colorful children’s picture books explore same-gender family situations. Newman, Leslea. Heather Has Two Mommies. Northampton: In Other Words, 1989. Willhoite, Michael. Daddy’s Roommate. Boston: Alyson Wonderland, 1990. Willhoite, Michael. Daddy’s Wedding. Los Angeles: Alyson Wonderland, 1996. 28 Open Hands More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance First Congregational, UCC Bellevue, Washington The only church located in the high-rise core of downtown, this congregation of 400 members is excited about outreach that will help the city be a “community with soul.” Having completed a $300,000 remodeling project, the church is exploring ways to keep its building and programs available to the people around it. Among the groups currently meeting at the church is Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians/Gays (PFLAG). The congregation recently celebrated its first ONA anniversary with a service and a time of thanksgiving for, and renewal of, this commitment. First United Church Oak Park, Illinois Jointly UCC and Presbyterian (since 1975), First United is a suburban congregation of 1100 members. Its location on the edge of one of Chicago’s poorest neighborhoods presents many opportunities for mutual partnerships with groups working to improve life in the city. Through a special mission endowment (funds from the sale of a building at the time of the 1975 merger), the church is currently focusing its outreach on gay/ lesbian issues, self sufficiency/welfare, and preventative health care. It also supports organizations working on local gay rights issues like domestic partnership policies. Mountain Rise UCC Fairport, New York This suburban congregation of 375 members is characterized by a generosity of outreach involving energy and money. Its spirit is enhanced by “worship in the round”—in a hexagonal arrangement that allows for various forms of creative celebration. All members are encouraged to participate in both Kin Groups (which help prepare for Sunday morning worship/ fellowship and provide personal support) and Commitment Units (which carry out the work of the church). Mission projects range from those in nearby Rochester to sending a medical student to El Salvador for several months. The church also shares its ONA process and commitment with churches in the area which are interested in becoming ONA. Welcoming Communities Celebration of Life Presbyterian Mesa, Arizona Celebration of Life Presbyterian began the process of becoming a More Light Church following the meeting of the General Assembly. In February, the Session revised its commitment to peace-making by including a statement on inclusiveness and voted to join the More Light Churches Network. Cottage Grove Presbyterian Church Des Moines, Iowa Cottage Grove Presbyterian, a congregation of approximately 170 members, is the first More Light Church in Iowa. The inner-city congregation’s main mission focus is a ministry helping people ineligible for government aid who are facing evictions or utility shutoffs. The church also serves a large Sudanese immigrant population. Cove UMC Lakewood, Ohio Cove United Methodist Church will celebrate its 100th anniversary in 1998. In 1970, it moved into its current, strikingly-beautiful building in this suburb adjoining the northwest side of Cleveland. This 250-member community offers a variety of spiritual growth programs and community ministries. A meditation group meets weekly and a healing service is held each month. Cove UMC serves a community meal once a month, sponsors a parish nurse, and houses several recovery groups. The discussion to become a Reconciling Congregation, which took several years, grew out of conversation on how to address the sin of homophobia. The RC decision has brought several new persons to the church recently. Desert Chapel UMC Apache Junction, Arizona This congregation was established as a community church in 1952 and soon became United Methodist. It is known as a “snowbird” congregation and is comprised mostly of northerners who spend the winter in this community east of Phoenix. Worship attendance in winter reaches about 1200, with an average of 150 during the summer. The congregation is older and working class. Worship is the center of community life. Not known as a “liberal community,” Desert Chapel raised the question of becoming a Reconciling Congregation after heated debate on gay issues at the 1996 annual conference. The desire to make it clear that its doors are open to anyone and everyone impelled the RC decision at Desert Chapel. East Vancouver UMC Vancouver, Washington Originally located on the eastern edge of Vancouver when it was founded about ninety years ago, East Vancouver UMC has watched the city grow around it. This middle-class MORE LIGHT RECONCILING OPEN AND AFFIRMING Spring 1997 29 congregation of 400 members spans all age groups. A child care center serves eighty children. The church has active junior and senior high youth groups, five circles of United Methodist Women, and a weekly coffee for retired men. East Vancouver UMC, known as a “welcoming and caring” community, supports a food bank, women’s shelter, and several missionaries in Central America. The decision to become an RC was expanded to look at many different groups of persons who are not always welcome in churches. First UMC Gardena, California Located on the southern edge of Los Angeles, First UMC is a multicultural congregation in a largely Spanish-speaking community. The life of this congregation of 120 members focuses on mission to the community. The congregation houses the Harbor-Gateway Center which offers services to persons in transition. A monthly community-wide meeting at First UMC brings together community members and leaders to share information. The congregation provides meals and other services to low-income families on Saturdays. First UMC’s emphasis on outreach to the larger community led to the discussion and decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. Hazelcrest Community UMC Hazelcrest, Illinois Just over 100 years old, Hazelcrest Community UMC built its current building in 1962 in this south suburb of Chicago. Its 265 members are racially mixed, tend to be older, and are noted for their generosity. The congregation heavily supports missions, sponsors a food pantry, and opens its doors to homeless persons one night a week as part of the Public Action to Deliver Shelter program. A strong music program, which supports the worship program, performs musicals regularly. Hobart UMC Minneapolis, Minnesota This congregation of 150 members is known as a friendly church which is very involved in its community. One of its older members was the first infant baptized there ninety-three years ago. Hobart houses a number of community groups in its transitional urban neighborhood. The music program is small, but strong. An area-wide Thanksgiving dinner serves over 100 persons each year. The congregation is in the process of establishing the Hobart Neighborhood Center which, when open this fall, will offer programs for children. Kings Highway UMC Brooklyn, New York This congregation dates back to 1850 when it was Flatlands UMC. When the congregation moved to its current site and changed its name in 1925, Norman Vincent Peale was the pastor. Currently the congregation is in transition toward becoming a largely West Indian congregation. Kings Highway is heavily involved with community ministries which serve all ages from a nursery school to senior citizens programs. The congregation’s recent growth seems to stem from its biblically-centered, traditional worship with good singing. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Campus Christian Community Fredericksburg, Virginia The Campus Christian Community of Mary Washington College has students, faculty, and staff from many denominations as active participants. Its mission statement (written by the students) states: “The Campus Christian Community is a loving and supportive commmunity which welcomes diversity while seeking to know and understand what Jesus has asked of us.” Becoming a Reconciled in Christ/Reconciling Congregation seemed to be a natural consequence of its mission statement. It has become racially inclusive as well. One African- American woman said simply, “I knew you accepted everybody, so I knew that I would be welcome too.” This “loving and diverse community” continues to include folks who are not comfortable with being RIC/RC, but would rather be in a community of welcome than a community of judgment. Faith Lutheran Church Phoenix, Arizona Faith Lutheran Church, an ELCA congregation of 52 years in central Phoenix, decided last fall to become a Reconciled in Christ congregation. When the church council discussed the proposal presented by their pastor, Rev. Richard C. Staats, they responded, “Why Not? We’re already practicing as an RIC congregation.” Once a congregation of 2,000 people, now again approaching 400, Faith is truly blessed with the energy and variety of its new members. Faith’s friendliness has become its most obvious strength, yet the congregation seriously and regularly ponders how to reach the people of its neighborhood. Faith is asking God to work in and through the congregation as God will, and the surprises are becoming evident. St. Andrews Lutheran Church Pittsburg, Pennsylvania St. Andrews Lutheran Church is a small congregation serving a diverse, transitional area which includes three universities and several major medical centers. Its motto is “Love Everyone; Exclude No One.” This inclusive philsophy led St. Andrews to build a ramp making its building accessible, to restart a nursery and Sunday School program for families with young children, and to become an RIC congregation. Specific ministries include serving people who are HIV+ and those who are in Pittsburgh waiting specialized medical procedures. The process of becoming RIC took seven years. “Education, openness, and changing of institutions is often long and slow,” notes St. Andrews’ pastor Janet B. Grill. “Gentle persistence on the part of those who understood the importance of this formal step persuaded those who were uncomfortable with naming gays and lesbians as being specifically welcomed.” RECONCILED IN CHRIST 30 Open Hands Movement News RCP Launches Leadership Training Twenty local activists from ten midwestern annual conferences gathered in Chicago from April 4-6 for the first-ever Reconciling Congregation Program Leadership Training Weekend. RCP staff Mark Bowman and James Preston planned and led this event which immersed participants in the RCP message, style, and organizing strategies. Participants learned how to make RCP presentations, talk to the media, enroll Reconciling United Methodists, nurture new Reconciling Congregations and Campus Ministries, and tell stories which witness to the work of God in the RC movement. Woven through the weekend were scriptures and songs which embody the RCP message of welcome and hospitality. The participants were quite enthusiastic in their evaluation of the weekend: “The weekend helped me reclaim the scriptures and my United Methodist heritage.” “The positive message of welcoming me in God’s name was very empowering.” “I will use this to rejuvenate my congregation’s RCP ministry.” “This weekend I have been educated, renewed, and have felt accepted and validated for who I am and what I have to offer.” “This is what the church needs to be about.” Using the evaluation of the participants in this test weekend, RCP staff will refine this training model and begin offering regional training events in different cities in the fall. Research on Same-Sex Covenanted Relationships Proposed The Episcopal Divinity School, based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and a Baltimore group, headed by E.D.S. trustee and Johns Hopkins physician John Payne, have designed a five-year prospective study aimed at understanding the facts concerning church-supported same-sex covenanted relationships. “Within a climate of emotionally charged and sometimes ignorant church debate, this research will offer the prospect of factually-based conversation and, one hopes, informed decision making,” notes President William W. Rankin of E.D.S. (who also serves as dean and as Charles B. Wilson Professor of Christian Ethics). The carefully designed research study, built on state-of-theart social science research methods, is a carefully articulated, quantitative, longitudinal investigation of personal and social factors. It has been carefully scrutinized and approved by the Joint Committee on Clinical Investigation of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and the Johns Hopkins Hospital. Using Episcopal Church congregants, the study will explore such major questions as: What is the comparative stability of same-sex versus heterosexual covenanted relationships? Would many lesbian and gay couples seek religious ceremonies if these were truly available? How would the church support same-sex relationships, if at all. No such study has yet been undertaken within a church context. Ten dioceses scattered across the United States are already committed to the project, which hopes to enroll at least 300 couples prior to their marriage or blessing of covenant—half gay/lesbian and half heterosexual. “The potential impact of this study is great,” notes Rankin. “Some thirty-five parishes are ready to enroll couples. That so many bishops, clergy, and lay leaders are prepared to join the study indicates the gap between church rhetoric that religious blessings of same sex covenants are not occurring, and the reality that they are.” Whatever the final results of the study, the researchers believe that the study should be helpful in grounding in reality, and possibly changing private opinion, public discussion, and policy in the church and perhaps in the wider society. The project is estimated to cost $220,000 over five years. An initial grant of $50,000 has been received from the E. Rhodes and Leona B. Carpenter Foundation. “Fidelity and Chastity” Amendment Ratified The commonly called “fidelity and chastity” amendment to the Book of Order of the Presbyterian Church has been ratified by more than 50 percent of the presbyteries and will be certified as church law at this summer’s meeting of the General Assembly. The full text of the amendment is as follows: “Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life in obedience to Scripture and in conformity to the historic confessional standards of the church. Among these standards is the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (W-4.9001), or chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or in stalled as deacons, elders, or ministers of the Word and Sacrament.” The changes in the church’s constitution were designed to prohibit the ordination of gays and lesbians as church officers or pastors, but the language of the amendment is so broadly written that many argue that no one will be able to be found fit for ordination. It is certain that the newly adopted amendment will provoke a great deal of action in the church courts. RCP LEADERSHIP TRAINING: Activists from across the midwest attend a first-ever RCP leadership training weekend in Chicago in April. Spring 1997 31 Call for Articles for Winter 1998 We’re Welcoming! Now What? Seeking articles on what happens in a local church once the decision to make a public welcoming statement has occurred: struggles, successes, steps taken to heal rifts, planning processes undertaken to identify ministry options, specific ministries developed, etc. Write with idea: July 15 Manuscript deadline: October 15 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 ABC Metro Removes Ban on Gay Ministerial Ordinands The Family Council of the American Baptist Churches of Metro Chicago, meeting on 8 March 1997, amended its regional ordination policies regarding the sexual orientation of candidates. The most pertinent clause states that candidates will not be withheld from the ordination process on the basis of their declared sexual orientation. The policy does not speak to the issue of sexual orientation itself; it places the responsibility of recommending candidates for regional review in the hands of the local sponsoring church. Although potentially divisive debate was anticipated, the meeting proceeded very smoothly. Discussion was heard fairly from all sides until everybody that wished to speak had an opportunity. A ballot vote was called with 42 voting delegates present representing at least 19 churches. The result was 31 in favor of the amendment, 8 against, and 3 abstaining. The policy is the result of four years of dialogue involving local churches and the cabinet of the region. Patty Jenkins and Kelly Sprinkle of Grace Baptist in Chicago (a Welcoming & Affirming church) commented, “...we are happy that the Metro Chicago region has taken this historic step toward honoring the witness of gay and lesbian Christians.... This decision...calls upon the churches and individuals to trust one another. It is our hope that, as we begin to more fully trust one another, we may begin to seek reconciliation in regard to issues of human sexuality.” Upcoming Gatherings 23-25 May “Never Turning Back,” 13th Annual More Light Conference, Portland Oregon. Contact Dick Hasbany, 541-345-44720. 26 June W&A Biennial Meeting and Service of Worship for attendees of ABCUSA’s Biennial Meeting. Contact Brenda J. Moulton, 508/226-1945. 28-30 June “Wade On In: Dancing at the Water’s Edge,” La Verne, California. A weekend of worship and the arts. Contact Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, 712/722-6906. 30 June-3 July “A Rainbow of Hope,” 17th National UCCL/GC Gathering, Ohio State University, Columbus. Celebrates the Coalition’s 25th anniversary. Special invitation to young people. Contact Jan Griesinger, UCCL/GC, 1-800/653-0799. 24-27 July “Come to the Table,” 5th National Reconciling Congregation Convocation, Atlanta, Georgia. Contact RCP, 773/736-5526. 25 July GLAD Alliance meeting, Denver, Colorado. Contact Eugene Brink, 719/488-0458. Greater Atlanta Presbytery Retains Member After Sex Change Greater Atlanta Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) has voted that a minister ordained as a man can retain ordination after a sex-change operation. It is believed to be the world’s first case of a mainstream church body giving such official recognition to a transsexual person. The matter became an issue for the church when Eric Swenson, a 49-year-old father of two adult daughters, asked for a change of name—to Erin—in church records. Swenson had undergone a sex change. After considering the situation for a year and debating it at a meeting on 22 October 1996, the presbytery voted 186 to 161 that Swenson could retain her ordination. A Gift of Song Received The ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns recently received a wonderful “gift of song” from longtime Coalition member, Mary Dougherty, of Seattle, Washington. In consultation with musician, Skylar Carroll, also of Seattle, Mary commissioned noted composer and lecturer Brian Wren to write a hymn that would give musical expression to the joy and challenge of being Open and Affirming congregations. Wren responded with not one but two hymn texts, “Great Love, Your Loveliness Is Signed” and “Come, Let Us Welcome, With Warm Acclamation.” They will be sung for the first time this summer at the UCCL/GC’s 17th National Gathering in Columbus, Ohio. James Forbes to Preach at W&A Service Rev. Dr. James A. Forbes, Jr., senior minister of the Riverside Church in New York City, will preach at a W&A Service of Worship, sponsored by the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists for attendees of the ABCUSA Biennial Meeting. Dr. Forbes is internationally known as the “preacher’s preacher.” The service will be held at Christ Church Cathedral in Indianapolis on Thursday, 26 June, at 4:30. The public is invited. Immediately preceeding the service (at 3:00), W&A Baptists will gather at the Hyatt Regency Hotel for their biennial business meeting and will then process to the Cathedral for worship. For more information, contact Brenda J. Moulton, Association Coordinator, 508/226-1945. Bisexual Writers Sought Writings by bisexual people of faith are needed for an anthology. Personal reflections/stories, academic/theological essays, journal entries, liturgy/prayers, poetry/songs welcome. Deadline: 30 August 1997 (extensions okay). For complete submission information, contact Amanda Udis-Kessler, 617/273- 9462 or 617/776-8540, email: aukcrc@world.std.com. 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Airing Out Closets (Summer 1996) ___ Transgender Realities (Fall 1996) ___ Sowing Seeds of Inclusion (Winter 1997) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue • Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526; fax—773/736-5475 PRECONVOCATION FORUMS FOR: • clergy • parents of l/g/bi persons • persons of color • youth, students, & seminarians July 24-27, 1997 Emory University, Atlanta Don’t Miss It! The fifth national convocation of Reconciling Congregations a spirit-filled gathering of the whole family of God AD Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 4 - Same-Sex Unions https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/810a3bab3aecfe1df1ff75ec3634fc36.pdf bd4c7ca8e607469bbe061e9e837cb16d Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 13 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 13 No. 1 Summer 1997 2 Open Hands Vol. 13 No. 1 Summer 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. CREATING SANCTUARY: All Youth Welcome Here! YOUTH SPEAK OUT! Harassed at Age Twelve 4 TIMOTHY JONES-YELVINGTON A teen reflects on the harassment he received two years ago and the school’s refusal to protect him. Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected 6 EDITOR Jamie Nabozny wins nearly a million dollar settlement from Wisconsin schools for their failure to protect him. My Sanctuary 7 SERENITY BEALL A lesbian teen reflects on the meaning of “sanctuary” in her life. My “Aunt Sue” 8 JEREMY MCCOY A teen with two lesbian moms shares the importance of his relationship with his second mom. Out of the Mouth...of a Teen 9 MARSHA STEVENS A lesbian mom shares two stories about her daughter’s wisdom. Two Schools, Two Approaches 10 NATASHA FAST, WITH MEGAN FAST A teen reflects on her schools’ approaches to gay and lesbian students’ need for support groups. The College Network 12 MONICA HAINES A college student leads discussion after an anti-gay forum. Does It Matter? 13 ANONYMOUS A teen writes poetically of his experiences. Summer 1997 3 NEXT ISSUE: From Womb to Table: Baptism and Communion Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Consultants Trey Hall James Preston Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC SELECTED RESOURCES 26 ML PHOTO DISPLAY 27 WELCOMING COMMUNITIES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 CREATING SAFE SPACE A Call to Affirm Sexual Minority Youth 14 HAROLD M. BROCKUS A pastor in Florida shares his church’s journey. Learning about Jesus 16 TREY HALL A student intern explores how we might reframe our understanding of evangelism with queer youth. Young, Gay, Dead: Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers 19 YOUTHA C. HARDMAN-CROMWELL An RCP board member proposes five suggestions for helping youth choose life. My Son Mitchell 20 TERI SHUGART ERICKSON A mother shares the story of her different son. From Fear to Advocacy 23 SARAH M. REED Another mother traces her journey after her fifteen year old son was diagnosed as HIV+. Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church? 24 JOHN HOFFMAN Reflecting on Bernstein’s Mass, a public school educator ponders on the lack of sanctuary for gays and lesbians. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “Home” 25 TIMOTHY C. MCGINLEY “Can we gather here for refuge from the strife?” ASIDES Bill of Rights for Youth .................. 5 VIRGINIA URIBE Prayer .......................................... 8 NATALIE COOK Prayer ........................................ 10 LILLIANA RAMIREZ MoSAIC ..................................... 11 Hetrick-Martin Institute ............... 11 Gay/Lesbian National Hotline ...... 12 BRAD BECKER Biblical Affirmations for Teens ..... 17 MARY JO OSTERMAN Common Errors and Clichés ........ 18 MELANY G. BURRILL Youth Suicide Incidence .............. 19 HETRICK-MARTIN INSTITUTE Children’s Sabbath Reading ........ 22 CRYSTAL SPRINGS UMC 4 Open Hands I was walking home from school alone on a mild January day when I noticed a boy walking the same direction on the other side of the street. I’d never seen him before, so I ignored him and kept walking. Before long, he crossed the street and began walking alongside me. Though his presence made me nervous, I paid no attention to him until he spoke. “Do you know someone named Stewart?” he said. “Yes,” I said reluctantly, unsure why he was asking the question. Before I knew it, I was lying on the ground, dazed, and the boy was gone. I had been beaten up on the way home from school. I’m not sure how long I laid there before I finally got up and walked the remaining four blocks home. The hurt went deeper than my bruises. Only a few weeks earlier, I’d had my arm broken by a kid in my gym class while we were playing volleyball. I’ve never liked volleyball, or any team sport for that matter. Throughout the class period, the kid kept insulting me and others, screaming at anyone who didn’t play well. Finally, my pent-up anger from being laughed at, harassed, and constantly degraded by this boy and others came out. I tried to kick the boy. He grabbed my leg and performed some sort of karate- style flip that left me on the ground with a fractured elbow. I was in the seventh grade— only 12 years old. I’d been attending the New Jersey school where this incident happened for two years. During that time, I was the constant butt of other students’ jokes and was repeatedly harassed. Kids labeled me “a girl” and “gay” and “a fag” simply because of my interest in performing, especially in dance, and my disinterest in the commonly accepted pastime for boys—competitive team sports. Most days I controlled my anger, but every once in awhile I couldn’t take the Harassed at Age Twelve By Timothy Jones-Yelvington insults any longer. After a few angry responses, my reputation as an “unstable person with an unpredictable temper” spread quickly, and the namecalling began. Other students called me everything from “Tempro-tazm” to “Timinator.” Teachers, school administrators, and my fellow students made me feel as though the abuse was my fault. “Ignore them,” I was told, or “Tell them they’re hurting your feelings, but don’t hit them.” The one time I tried telling someone she was hurting my feelings, the girl laughed in my face and made a mocking imitation of what I had said. A week earlier, this girl had made fun of me for what I was reading. When I made no response to her insult, she had walked away smugly saying to a friend, “I love annoying Tim. It’s so much fun.” But she wasn’t just annoying me. Her words were slowly and painfully making me feel inferior to her. They were making me question myself and my goal of becoming a dancer. Being Mean Is Unnatural Making someone feel that low, that degraded, shouldn’t be fun. Kids should not harass other kids for enjoyment. Being so mean is not natural, normal behavior for children— despite those who say “boys will be boys” or “kids can be so cruel.” A “normal” kid doesn’t decide a boy is homosexual simply because he is a dancer or a girl because she plays sports rather than house. A normal kid probably isn’t even sure what it means to be homosexual, and if he or she does, the kid doesn’t automatically hate people because of their sexual orientation. To quote a song from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical South Pacific: “They have to be taught, carefully taught, to hate.” Our society must be a pretty good teacher that so many kids in one New Jersey town— a town with a reputation YOUTH SPEAK OUT Summer 1997 5 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 for topnotch schools—could be so vicious. The school was oblivious to the violence. Counselors, teachers, and administrators told me, “Toughen up. Kids are mean, so learn to live with it. Life is hard.” Why should we learn to live with violence? It shouldn’t be the accepted norm, but rather something we hate and work to eliminate. Finding a Positive Environment After getting beat up and having my arm broken, I was forced to move to an independent school in New York City. The public school refused to reprimand the kid who broke my arm unless I was also reprimanded. Since the beating occurred off school grounds, school officials refused to assume any responsibility. I’m much happier now. I’m in an environment that works to dispel violence rather than accept it as something with which we must live. We have retreats and programs on embracing diversity, and our Internet contract requires us to agree not to access or input racist, sexist, or homophobic material. A school-sponsored support group for gay and lesbian parents models acceptance of all people as created by God. Being so mean is not natural, normal behavior for children— despite those who say “boys will be boys” or “kids can be so cruel.” I’m doing well, enjoying school and dancing, but there are other kids who are not so lucky as to have a grandmother who can and will pay independent- school tuition and a supportive mom. Our public education system and our society is failing them. These kids face daily harassment. Some are not as emotionally strong as I was. They may allow the insults to A Bill of Rights for All Youth According to Dr. Virginia Uribe, Director of Project Ten, every young person should be entitled to: ✘ Attend school and other youth programs free of verbal and physical harassment ✘ Have enforced a standard of respect and dignity for all ✘ Have access to accurate information, free of negative judgment, delivered by trained adults who both inform and affirm all youth ✘ Have positive role models available in person, in school curricula, and in program implementation ✘ Be included in support programs that help them deal with the difficulties of adolescence and find their way to self-acceptance. Source: Ann Thompson Cook and Wayne Pawlowski, “Youth and Homosexuality,” Issue Paper #3, Respect All Youth Project, PFLAG, 1991. Adapted from Virginia Uribe, Project Ten Handbook. cut even deeper than I did. Many will emerge as angry, bitter adults or as insecure people who can never be happy. Stopping Harassment We need to stop harassment based on perceived sexual orientation and gender stereotyping. We need to fight this violence—both the emotional and physical violence—wherever we can in our homes, our communities, and our churches. We need to see where kids are being hurt, and we need to be there for those kids. Most importantly, we need to be aware of the pain so many experience, and we need to educate others to it. We need to stop teaching hate and start building a just, peaceful world.▼ Timothy Jones-Yelvington, age 14, will be in the 10th grade at Elisabeth Irwin High School in Greenwich Village, New York City, in the fall of 1997. He is a student at the School of American Ballet in Lincoln Center. He is a self-avowed, practicing United Methodist. 6 Open Hands Jamie Nabozny—now 21 years old— suffered years of physical and verbal harassment while attending middle school and high school in Ashland, Wisconsin. Until recently, students like Jamie had little or no recourse— and certainly few if any legal precedents— to demand equal treatment under the law. However, in July 1996 the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund won the “first federal appellate lawsuit challenging anti-gay violence in the schools.” With Lambda’s help and thanks to the decision of the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, Jamie won the right to sue his school for the abuse and harassment he suffered while a student in Ashland schools. According to Lambda, “The court ruled that public schools, and school officials as individuals, may have to pay monetary damages for failing to address studenton- student anti-gay abuse. Jamie’s initial victory is meaningful to other students because the court found it unacceptable to respond to anti-gay abuse by saying ‘boys will be boys’ or by saying that these students should expect abuse because they are gay.” Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected Sources Kurt Chandler, “A Reluctant Hero,” The Advocate (28 May 1996), pp. 29-34; A Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund fundraising letter and attached letter by Jamie Nabozny, October 1996; and Patricia M. Logue, “Near $1 Million Settlement Raises Standard for Protection of Gay Youth,” The Lambda UpDate (Winter 1997), pp. 1, 8. The Outcome Among other things, the appellate court found that “The Equal Protection Clause does…require the state to treat each person with equal regard, as having equal worth, regardless of his or her status.” Lambda UpDate writer Patricia Logue details the outcome of the November 1996 trial: Seven Midwestern jurors “found Jamie’s public school principals during middle school and high school were liable to him for violating his constitutional right to equal protection from harm by repeatedly refusing to come to his aid when he was beat up in school for being gay.” Soon after the jury verdict, the two sides agreed on a “nearly $1 million settlement, a figure further punctuating the message that there is a high price to pay for ignoring abuse of lesbian and gay students.” In Jamie’s Own Words “D ay after day, I was called derogatory names and pinched and kicked, coming home with bruises…. There were so many incidents that I can’t remember them all. But I’ll never forget some of the worst. In seventh grade, after my teacher left the classroom for a short time, two boys pinned me to the floor for several minutes and pretended to rape me. The rest of the class just watched and laughed. In the ninth grade, two boys pushed me into the urinal and pissed on me. One of my teachers called me a ‘fag’ and threw me out of his class. In tenth grade, ten boys trapped me in a hallway and one wearing cowboy boots kicked me in the stomach so hard and so many times that I had to be hospitalized with internal bleeding…. “Despite promises from the school, none of my harassers was ever suspended, expelled, or kept at a safe distance. School officials treated me like I was the problem. Worse than that, I started to feel like I was the problem…. “Even as the school tried to isolate me from the other kids, the harassment intensified. I attempted suicide three times during high school because of the abuse and was hospitalized each time…. “I sued the school district because of its total failure to protect me…. The trial court ruled against me, and my case would have ended there if Lambda hadn’t filed an appeal on my behalf….” —Editor Summer 1997 7 What is sanctuary? For many queer* youth, “sanctuary” carries a very negative connotation. It refers to a safety and protection that many of us cannot find within the church environment. As a younger child I was very spiritual, believing in the spirit and guidance of something great within all of us as humans and as beings. I remember growing up using prayers for the protection of myself and others as a bedtime ritual. Meditation even entered my life at the age of ten, and I began to read the Course in Miracles, thinking it would give me a path to finding myself. All of this did encourage my coming out of the closet as a lesbian at age fourteen, but as I came out, I began to lose faith in organized religion. I went through two years of a very draining questioning process. Constantly, thoughts of suicide would plague my mind. To think that I could possibly be seen as completely different from everyone else was a horror I had never encountered and never thought possible. I decided I was going to lead a miserable life as a straight woman, constantly lying to myself and others about how happy I was. I would grow up with boyfriends and eventually have a husband because at least then I wouldn’t have to deal with odd looks and possible legal struggles. I desperately wanted to have kids so I, of course, would have to be with a man. I was, and am, a very affectionate person. Dating had always been something I wanted to explore, but of course there were no gays my age. I wouldn’t be able to get a date until I was at least twenty. So why not just go out with men and pretend it’s fun? Hey, it’s some sort of affection, right? All of these false concepts and hypotheses ran through my mind day in and day out. Finally, I decided to figure out whether I was really queer or not. I turned to the Unity church in my home town because that is where my parents attended and I was told that it was a very liberal church. The youth My Sanctuary By Serenity Beall group was wonderful because I could be myself there without having to tell anyone what was going on inside me. I could explore my bounds on a so-called vision quest and I could test my belief in their view of god. I began to grow more accustomed to the idea of “queerness” entering my life. That youth group even provided me with an experimental boyfriend. I would ask myself every time I went out with him, whether I really felt comfortable or not. I even began to believe I was comfortable just because of my constant jabbering about him in my head. Yet, at the Melissa Etheridge concert that I dragged my boyfriend to I felt truly proud of who I was for the first time. I wanted to replace that guy in my head with a woman. When I finally told him a week later that I was pretty sure I was a lesbian, he told me that he was pretty sure that he was not straight either. Thus my questioning ended and a period of coming out of the closet began. I came out to my close relatives rather quickly because I knew that my uncle was gay and they would most likely have no problem with it. Shortly after that, my extended family and my friends came to find out how I was. Now it was time for church. I felt that I would be immediately accepted there because of the new age philosophy and the liberal nature of things. But this was only partially true. I found a few adults who sponsored the younger youth group who accepted me completely. In them I found an understanding and acceptance I hadn’t found before. It was a whole different matter when I moved to the high school youth group. Every time I brought up my nature, the subject was quickly redirected. I felt like an outcast with every pair of eyes either averted from me or staring intensely at me. I soon discovered that the minister had refused to marry a lesbian couple and even refused permission to the assistant minister to marry them. I decided that organized religion was not for me and I left the church, rarely going to sermons or youth group meetings. It is difficult to find sanctuary in church because there are so many boundaries that a queer youth must break through just to gain acceptance. Yet acceptance is only a first step for a church and congregation. To say that someone is acceptable merely means that he or she is approved and satisfactory. It also carries the thought that there is something to be accepted. In a truly open and affirming church there needs to be not only acceptance but also love and admiration. The doors must not only be open to their presence, but also to their ceremony and prayer. One step further would be genderless sermons and an absence of assumptions based on sexual orientation and sexual identity. That would be the ideal sanctuary for me and many of my friends. Until I find a church like the one I have just painted, I will continue to make nature and meditation my sanctuary. For there I know I am protected and understood. There isn’t a tree in the world that cares how long my hair is and who I will love.▼ Editor’s Note *Queer is an all-encompassing, positive word often used by youth and young adults in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered community, as well as by many others. Serenity Beall is a 16-year-old lesbian living in Boulder, Colorado. She is very involved in the queer community and is helping her mother and stepfather start an open and affirming church called Unity Circle of Longmont in Colorado. 8 Open Hands Throughout my growing up years, she was known as Aunt Sue. Some of my earliest memories involve experiences with her. She has become one of the most special and inspirational people in my life. From my asking her to marry me at about age five to our Super Bowl parties on the couch in my junior high days, she has always shared in the great, as well as the not so great, times in my life. She and my mother have had a very special relationship for as long as I can remember. From what I assume, Sue was the shoulder my mom cried on through my parents’ divorce. At that time Sue was out of state, so they spent a lot of time on the phone and paid each other numerous visits during the weekends. Occasionally my sister and I would travel along. For me, these trips were some of the most memorable of my life. We would spend the days swimming, playing pool, and numerous other unforgettable activities. This went on for about two years, during which time it became very clear that the relationship between my mom and Sue was changing quite a bit. I wasn’t really surprised that cold winter evening when they “came out of the closet” to my sister and me. I guess it was just eased into so much and we had enough warning signs to know what was going on. It wasn’t easy, just like any time a stepparent enters the picture. Sue’s expectations and demands were different from ones we had encountered previously. I’m not completely sure the transition is complete yet. However, I do believe that we have come as close to a “normal” family as any other family. The foundation of any family is love, and I can honestly say that I love Sue. It makes no difference to me whether Sue is of blood relation to me; the point is that we have built a family. I doubt that there are two people My “Aunt Sue” By Jeremy McCoy “When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite.” –William Blake in this world who love and care for my sister and me as much as my moms. Unfortunately, the hardest part of this transition had nothing to do with my family. The hardest part was to decide who was “safe” or “unsafe” to tell about my family configuration. A lot of people still view homosexuals as subhuman or evil. It is hard for some people to accept what they are not, but most often it is what they don’t know that causes their hatred. I have been fortunate enough to become acquainted with many gay and lesbian people in my community and church and amongst my peers. Gay and lesbian people share the same hopes and dreams that straight people have. They are looking to better themselves, to find love, and to find happiness just like you and me. However, when many people picture a homosexual individual they see a crazed person who is only interested in hitting on them. This portrait would be like believing that, just because a few white people murder, all white people are murderers. It is just not the way it is. Until people have the chance to become acquainted with a non-stereotypical homosexual, they will never understand this. No two people are alike. For this I would hope everyone is thankful. Picture a world where everyone is the same, especially a world where everyone is just like you. Depressing isn’t it? We all want to be judged by our character content, not by the things that we have no control over. Whether it be a physical or mental handicap, skin color, or sexual orientation, we still want to be viewed and treated on an even plane with everyone else. It is my belief that when we see each other as one of “us” and celebrate each person’s diversity the groundwork will be laid for world peace.▼ Jeremy McCoy and his sister and his two moms attend Findlay Street Christian Church in Seattle, Washington. God, help me to realize that it doesn’t matter what clothes people wear, how they cut their hair, or what color their skin is. We are all the same in your eyes, and with this awareness your children can move forward as a family. Discrimination deprives people of not only their civil rights but their human dignity. To overcome the evil challenges of our life we must turn to Christ, the good news of Jesus. Everyone deserves the love that you taught us to give to each other. I guess I am petitioning you not to miraculously solve a problem but to allow for an individual understanding of the violation against you and your word that blatant prejudice and discrimination commit. —Nakela Cook John Carroll High School, Birmingham, Alabama Source Reprinted from Dreams Alive: Prayers by Teenagers. Edited by Carol Koch. Saint Mary’s Press, Winona, MN, 1991. Used by permission of publisher. All rights reserved. Jeremy with his mother Arlene (left) and his “other mother” Susan Summer 1997 9 Sometimes “a little child shall lead them” comes true even in the wilderness. I have always loathed the times someone has fixed me with a doleful stare and said, “How do your children deal with your lifestyle?” My knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Better than you do, obviously.” Clearly these people are seeing my life as a tragedy, particularly one foisted upon my innocent offspring. But far more often, my kids are the ones to keep me on track and grounded in reality. Two times come to mind with my daughter. Once as a young teenager, she asked if a boy she liked could attend a family function. I told her this was an event where I did not want to have to be careful not to call my lover “dear” or avoid holding hands. She looked mildly incredulous. “Is that the only reason he can’t come?” I said it was. Not a minute later she was Out of the Mouth…of a Teen By Marsha Stevens back, telephone in hand, “OK, he knows you’re a lesbian. Now can he come?” Flabbergasted, I asked how he had received this news. Now, she was exasperated. “Mom, he would care if I was gay!” Another time I had been approached to have the story of my coming out condensed and included in someone else’s book. I told my daughter about the request and expressed my concern that, since the book had a particularly inflammatory title, it might get back to her— especially since she still attended a Christian school. She nodded. Yes, this was true. “Well,” I pursued, “I’m afraid that might be embarrassing for you.” It might, she conceded. I said, “Honey, I need a little better answer than that. I need to get back to this woman with an answer.” Now, for some reason I didn’t quite see coming, I had her attention. “You didn’t give her an answer, Mom? What are you gonna say? ‘No, I won’t tell you what Jesus has done in my life’?” Out of the mouths of—well, even teenagers— come paths of clarity out of the wilderness. No, gay mother, you are not the center of the universe. And, yes, Mom, you are called to give an answer to anyone who asks, to give a reason for the hope that is within you—still.▼ Marsha Stevens was active in ministry for many years in mainstream contemporary Christian music, recording for Maranatha!, Word, Light/Lexicon, and EMI. She is best known, perhaps, for her song “For Those Tears I Died (Come to the Water).” Since coming out sixteen years ago, she writes and sings for the gay and lesbian Christian community. AD 10 Open Hands During my freshman year I attended a large public school in Chicago that draws students from all over the city. These kids form a very diverse student body, encompassing many ethnic backgrounds, different cultures, and viewpoints. This has been both a blessing and a curse for the school. It is wonderful for students to have a place where almost anyone can find a place to fit in. However, the diversity there can create tension as well. Since I transferred out two years ago, some major changes have taken place at my old school. My Old School Two years ago, a lesbian student decided to start a group for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students. Rumors had been going around school about her sexuality for a long time and she wanted to start a club where she and others could be open and not worry about being ridiculed. She followed the normal procedures for starting a club, and gave her request to the administration. Most clubs take about a week to become officially recognized by the school. However, this club took about six months. During this time they called themselves a support group. They met and discussed issues that gay and lesbian students face, but they did not have many activities. Although they were not an officially recognized club, they did Two Schools, Two Approaches By Natasha Fast, with Megan Fast have three faculty sponsors: two school counselors and an English teacher. The students’ first request for their group was denied. However, they asked the principal to reconsider and they circulated petitions for students to show their support for the club. At first, many students were reluctant to sign. Many said that they did not approve of the gay/lesbian/bisexual lifestyle and others were afraid that if they signed people would assume that they were gay. The club members argued that although not all students practiced or approved of all the religions that had special clubs, these clubs were allowed to exist. After much hard work by the students, over 200 signature were collected. The club now has about twenty members and meets once or twice a week. They often bring guest speakers to their meetings. A lawyer spoke with them about laws concerning hate crimes. Many reporters come to their meetings because it is rare for a public school to have a gay and lesbian club. My Current School I have spent my sophomore and junior years at another public school, but one with quite a different atmosphere. The Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy (IMSA) is the only public boarding high school in Illinois. Because it is a boarding school, it differs from other high schools in many ways. Students have a lot more freedom to express views and do things that their parents and home communities might not like. I found IMSA to be much more accepting of gay and lesbian students than my previous high school. It is not uncommon to see students cross-dressing at IMSA, a practice that would have been considered unacceptable, both by the school administration and the students, at my old school. Because IMSA is a residential high school, the school has to deal with the social lives of students much more. For example, at IMSA we have something called intervisitations. In order for a student to be in a wing for students of the opposite sex, she must obtain an intervisitation (popularly called interviz) pass from the residential counselor. There are also special interviz rules: students must keep the door propped at a ninety degree angle; students can’t be lying down; they must have all the lights on and be fully clothed. Last year, several meetings were held to discuss the possibility of having same-sex intervizes. Many straight students complained that it was unfair to restrict heterosexual sexual behavior, while homosexual students were free to do as they wished behind closed doors. Technically, any sort of sexual behavior by students while they are on campus is against the rules. However, some say that the rules are biased against heterosexual couples. Instituting same-sex intervizes had many problems. Obviously, interviz rules can not be in effect whenever two students are in a room together. The question then became how to decide when a same-sex interviz is necessary. Asking every student about their sexual orientation was out of the question. The final decision was to consider same-sex intervizes on a case by case basis. This past year was the first year that IMSA had a club for gay and lesbian students. It is called Spectrum. Unlike the club at my old school, Spectrum is not a haven for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who feel rejected by many of Dear God, When I see the pain and suffering surrounding me, I feel trapped, wanting nothing more than to escape. Please God, Give me the strength, every day of my life, to face my troubles up front and to help others when they are in need of it. May you stay with me every day of my life, God. Source Reprinted from Dreams Alive: Prayers by Teenagers. Edited by Carol Koch. Saint Mary’s Press, Winona, MN, 1991. Used by permission of publisher. All rights reserved. —Lilliana Ramirez Saint Augustine Religious Education, Culver City, California Summer 1997 11 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 their peers. Because IMSA’s students are so much more open-minded, the club is more a social organization than a way for students to find support. During this past year, Spectrum has held many activities. They have sponsored movie nights and publicized gay and lesbian history month around the school. The club is also starting a reading group. Next year, they hope to hold a film series, a dance, and activities for national coming out day (11 October). They also hope to bring in speakers from the occupations that the members are interested in, to speak about what it is like to be gay or lesbian in that field. Although IMSA may have a very open-minded student body, it depends on the state legislature for its funding. This means that many political issues get played out in IMSA’s policies. For example, Spectrum recently wanted to take a group of students into Chicago to go shopping at stores that cater to gays and lesbians. Their request to take a van was denied because the trip would “put IMSA in the position of endorsing or appearing to endorse a particular lifestyle.” It is unfortunate that IMSA must worry about how to best meet the needs of its students while conforming to the state’s political agendas. However, for me, it has been wonderful to find a place where kids can explore their sexualities without pressure from their family and with support from their friends.▼ Natasha Fast currently attends the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, where she is about to start her senior year. She is on the soccer team and the swim team. She is also a member of the Reconciling Congregation Program’s Youth and Young Adult Task Force. Megan Fast plays soccer and volleyball. She enjoys travel and camping. She will be a freshman next year. She collaborated on and helped research this article. MoSAIC Methodist Students for an All-Inclusive Church Established in May 1996 by a group of concerned college and university students, MoSAIC seeks to dismantle the ecclesial systems of oppression against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered peoples in order to bring about the inclusive justice of God’s vision. The group publishes Tapestry, a quarterly newsletter mailed to all Reconciling United Methodist students and Campus Ministries. In the second issue of Tapestry, MoSAIC co-chair Trey Hall notes, “We must continue to struggle with a ‘revolutionary patience,’ refusing to relinquish our vision of hope that one day all people may be liberated. The centrality of our faith as a reconciling people is that we can live together amidst our differences, that because of the different hues, shapes, and textures of our individual threads and experiences, we can fully celebrate the way that God fashions our diversity and simultaneously weaves us into one tapestry.” For more information, contact: MoSAIC, Reconciling Congregation Program, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641-3007. 773/736-5526. The Hetrick-Martin Institute Founded in 1979, the Hetrick-Martin Institute (HMI) is a not-for-profit social service, education, and advocacy organization. HMI serves lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender youth, homeless youth, youth with HIV, and all youth coming to terms with their sexuality. It reaches youth in New York City and is accessible from New Jersey and Connecticut. Case management and consultation service are offered nationwide. HMI serves more than 7,000 youth each year through a broad range of services, including counseling, an after-school Drop- In Center, the Harvey Milk School, training services for both youth and professionals, Project First Step for homeless youth, and the National Advocacy Coalition on Youth and Sexual Orientation. Many more youth are reached over the phone by counselors and on the streets by outreach workers. For more information, contact Hetrick-Martin Institute, 2 Astor Place, New York, NY 10003-6998. 212/674- 2400. AD 12 Open Hands 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 The man, who identified himself as an ex-gay—someone who had turned from the “sin” of homosexuality— spoke of God speaking to him and of being given the choice of either dying from AIDS or turning away from being gay. This was to a room of 400-500 people as well as to the community via the college radio broadcast system. I sat there among some friends, in shock and disbelief— concerned that those who heard believed every word he said, believed that was what being gay was about. He spoke about the gay bars and the “seediness” of it. That wasn’t what my life was about and I didn’t want people to think that’s what all of us beautiful people were about After this chapel presentation, I had asked the speakers to stay and join us in a panel discussion that I had organized in order to combat the messages that were given. Instead of staying, they, along with the campus pastor, left, speedily— and I began to cry. I was so overwhelmed, so terrified, so afraid, that those who believed their message wouldn’t stay. I believed that was everyone. However, a majority of people stayed for the discussion and it was a The College Network By Monica Haines good one. It started off with two professors speaking, one who formerly was a Southern Baptist preacher and the other who leads Prejudice Reduction Workshops. At first, the discussion was angry, Bibles were pulled out, and everyone was proving each other right or wrong. Then the stories came. People told of their sorrows and joys, their thoughts and their concerns. They shared their experiences. It was the first time that a majority of the campus community had had a discussion about homosexuality. Fortunately, I had the resources within and the support around me to organize a response to these actions. Others on other campuses aren’t so lucky. At Goshen College, students were dumbstruck as they came to the campus center and found that the “Opinion Board,” which had many discussion papers on homosexuality, was burned— destroyed— in an attempt to “shut them up.” But it did not work; they kept on meeting, discussing, organizing. They were not silenced. In Iowa, a female student has no problem being accepted as a lesbian, but she feels she has no one to turn to and talk with about being a Christian. These are reasons why we have The College Network (TCN). TCN gives gay, lesbian, and bisexual young people opportunities to share their experiences and find support as they come out to family, friends, and their communities. TCN also provides alumni/ae of Brethren and Mennonite colleges, parents, and friends with opportunities to actively support these young people. TCN currently has an e-mail network, which provides a safe space to share experiences and thoughts on the college campus or in the community. You can tell your own story. About being young and being gay. About being a parent and seeing your child struggle or suffer. About being a friend who Gay & Lesbian National Hotline By Brad Becker The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline (GLNH) was started from an idea of six people two years ago after the Gay & Lesbian Pride March in New York City. It was felt that there were vast areas of the country that did not have access to a local switchboard or hotline for information and peer-counseling. Where a local switchboard did exist, many times the hours and services were erratic. After a year of planning, the GLNH opened on 1 October 1996. In the seven months since, our all-volunteer organization has answered thousands of calls for help. We provide information and referrals for local cities across the country. We maintain the largest resource list of its kind in the world, with over 15,000 local referrals in our database. We also provide anonymous and free peer-counseling. A large percentage of our calls are received from teens who are questioning their sexuality. Many callers have never knowingly spoken with a gay or lesbian person before. Our volunteers are trained in effective listening techniques so we can help a caller begin to focus on their many feelings. We also integrate safer-sex information at the same time. TO CONTACT GLNH 1-888-THE-GLNH (M-F eves. 6-11 p.m. eastern) e-mail: glnh@glnh.org www site: www.glnh.org Brad Becker is exective director of GLNH. didn’t understand why your friend dropped out of school, was kicked out of the dorm, or committed suicide. TCN welcomes individuals with or without e-mail to join our mailing list.▼ If you would like to participate in The College Network, contact Monica Haines at PO Box 2696, Auburn AL 36831-2696, 334/821-8041, mooream@mail.auburn.edu. Summer 1997 13 My father asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I said yes. He said, get out of my life. I guess it mattered. My boss asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I told him yes. He said, you’re fired, faggot. I guess it mattered. My friend asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I said yes. He said, don’t call me your friend. I guess it mattered. My lover asked, Do you love me? I asked, Does it matter? He said yes. I told him, “I love you.” He said, let me hold you in my arms. My God asked, Do you love yourself? I asked, Does it matter? He said yes. I said, how can I love myself? I am gay. He said, that is what I made you. Nothing again will ever matter. Source This poem is reprinted with permission from Voice of the Turtle (Winter 1997), a publication of American Baptists Concerned. Does It Matter? 14 Open Hands For us it was life imitating scripture: God calls; we respond. We did not find or seek our ten-yearold ministry with sexual minority youth; the ministry found us. Looking back, we see that it was and remains a call from God. It began in 1985 when a Good Samaritan Church member called the pastor to ask for help with gay and lesbian adolescents. The mission committee and the Session authorized a decent Reformed Tradition study in the community. The research revealed an alarming level of stress and suicide among adolescents. More alarming was the utter lack of support for teens struggling with issues of sexual orientation. The study task force asked human service organizations in the county to respond. One offered counseling slots; all others declined. Letters were sent to 235 mainline churches in the county. Not one responded. Calls to churches and pastors known for their justice ministries elicited “too hot to handle” responses. Answering a Call With reluctance and a sense of inadequacy, the Session voted in January 1987 to begin a support ministry for gay and lesbian adolescents, the first in the metropolitan Tampa Bay area which has a population exceeding one million. The new ministry was presented to the congregation in a series followed by feedback meetings led by Session members. Members of the church shared stories, from their own life experiences, about family members and friends who had suffered the ravages of homophobia. Good Samaritan was not well-suited to develop this particular ministry. The church closet and the “don’t ask, don’t tell” tradition of mainline churches have left us isolated and ignorant of the A Call to Affirm Sexual Minority Youth By Harold M. Brockus experiences of brothers and sisters who are gay, bisexual, and transgendered. However, a long-term pastorate, a history of risky ventures in community organization and ministry, and a variety of conflicts had fortified the church for its new covenant in spite of dogged resistance in the church and community. A ministry board of mental health professionals and gay and lesbian activists was recruited to work with designated church members in managing this non-sectarian ministry under the Session. We publicized the first support meeting in May 1987 through an ad in a gay weekly and by word of mouth. The two adult advisors pulled up folding chairs under the church oak tree when it was time to start the first gathering. Several cars packed with young people circled the church slowly. Finally one car pulled in, parked, and unloaded. Others followed. True Expressions was launched. The ministry has prospered, has added a second weekly program for gay, lesbian, and bisexual young adults, has been a model for other new groups in the state of Florida, and has provided training for mental health professionals in the community. Hearing the Testimonies It’s been a painful, exciting, and transforming journey. Some 400 young people have participated. Personal testimonies abound. David, a young adult participating in the youth group remarks: “True Expressions is a way to talk about what I really feel outside of parental attempts to put heterosexual influence in my life. True Expressions has done wonders!” Shaun, another regular attendee, acknowledges that “True Expressions has provided a place away from the bar scene to meet other gay people dealing with issues like I am dealing with.” Jim W., a young man CREATING SAFE SPACE Summer 1997 15 involved with the board of the organization allows that “True Expressions is a place where I can go for unconditional support.” Ministering to our Own The church is in a strategic position to minister to sexual minority youth. We have a tradition of youth ministry, the facilities, and staff to serve. We are not vulnerable to the vicious and homophobic accusation (as gay groups are) of “recruiting” youth—presumably to become gay. More importantly we are a covenant community called to embrace the outcast and the stranger. Fulfilling that call in ministry to sexual minority youth means facing our own demons as well as those in church and society. Of course, it is a call to minister to our own. These young people are our children and grandchildren. They are family. They are at risk. Their cries fill the night. Their tears fall silent in the closets of our fears. God help us to hear, see, and respond with compassion.▼ Harold M. Brockus, M.Div., D.Min., combines a dual career as pastor (over 25 years) of Good Samaritan Church (a joint More Light Presbyterian and ONA United Church of Christ congregation) in Pinellas Park, Florida, and as an organization development consultant on staff at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida. 16 Open Hands To say that this parent, along with the overwhelming majority of parents and other laity and clergy in our churches, is homophobic is concurrently to simplify and under-articulate the issue. Homophobia is the fear and hatred of those who sexually love members of their own gender. Much of the time with youth, it is an internal fear, insecurity, and frequent self-loathing of one’s entire being. How else do you explain a fear that causes most youth to wait until their college-age years or beyond, when they can leave their family and church, to deal with their sexuality? How else do you explain a fear that leads parents to inundate a pastor’s office with calls and faxes when the mere word “gay” or “lesbian” is mentioned in a discussion? Learning about Jesus By Trey Hall Reframing our understanding of evangelism with queer youth “So, how could you bring up homosexual people in your Sunday school class?” a parent asked, outraged at the issues her daughter had talked about openly at the family lunch earlier that afternoon. “Well, I didn’t bring it up. One of the youth mentioned gay and lesbian people in the course of our discussion. But, don’t you think that our group should engage in a more formal discussion about sexuality?” “No!” the parent gasped. “This is church!” “If the church isn’t an appropriate place for an honest and candid discussion, I don’t know what is. Staggering numbers of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth are confused about themselves, especially about how their sexual feelings mesh with their religious and spiritual beliefs.” “But what if your discussion encourages some of them to ‘explore’ themselves to the point that they begin to wonder if they are homosexual?” “Then they will be at a point that many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people don’t reach until much later in life, if they ever reach it.” “I don’t want my daughter to be a homosexual.” Frustrated, the woman walked out of my office. How else do you explain a fear that provokes other youth to act coldly and indifferently to a newcomer rumored to be lesbian or gay? Youth Realities Justin* was the first gay youth I ever met. I was leading a winter conference retreat for several youth in the mountains of Nevada. When I arrived to the retreat center amidst a crowd of youth eager to begin the program, I saw Justin notice the small rainbow ribbon tied to the zipper of my backpack. Later that night, as I was preparing for the next day’s activities, Justin appeared, “unable to sleep.” He asked me about my ribbon, and I explained that it was a symbol of solidarity and pride for lesbian, gay, and bisexual folks. My explanation began a wellspring of questions. Justin came out to me, the first “church person” (as he called me) with whom he had felt comfortable discussing his sexuality. He told me of his mother, a Christian educator in a large Southwestern church, who despite her years of training and experience, would not deal with the fact that her son is gay. He told me of his circle of friends, both at church and at school, that would never again speak to him if they knew his “secret.” It was an experience of grace and pain for both of us, as I understood too fully his grief. A year and a half later, I answered the phone at the Reconciling Congregation Program, where I serve as campus intern. After my greeting, I expected a typical question—only to wait in silence for a response. “Hello?” I asked twice. And then a frail and sobbing voice spoke: “Can you help me? My parents found my journal and threw me out because I’m a lesbian. I’ve called my minister and he won’t have anything to do with me. He told me to come back only when I’ve given up my lifestyle. I have nowhere to go.” I listened to Anne*, a sixteen-year-old youth from Texas, and tried to help by giving her the numbers of a crisis support line and some supportive pastors in her area. I wish Anne was the only youth I know who has been disowned because of her sexual orientation. Homophobia, sometimes known only by statistics, scholarly definitions or institutional attitudes, becomes a story of pain and hatred experienced by too many youth. Summer 1997 17 In my college summers as a youth director, I have met many youth who I believe are lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Most are reluctant to share with the group anything personal about themselves, for fear that even a subtle question or gesture would reveal their feelings and align them with constant slandering and gossip. So when Jason* asked in the middle of our senior high Sunday school discussion, “Trey, what do you think about gay and lesbian people?” he put himself at risk. He mentioned words that could brand him a “queer” or “faggot- lover” in the eyes of the youth group, his treasured community of friends and faith. Natural Sex? The ensuing class discussion, in which we talked about the realities of gay and lesbian people in society, caused five parents to show up at the next day’s staff meeting. I began to review the youth programming agenda and informed the pastor that the youth group would, at its request, begin a fall study series on human sexuality, which would include material on homosexuality. The parents objected immediately, their planned reaction summed up by a nominated spokesperson: “We don’t want our children to be subjected to learning about such things. That kind of sex just isn’t natural!” “But what is natural sex, Mr. Turner*? Only sex between a male and a female? Well, rape fits that definition; it’s between a male and female. Is that natural? My aunt, who’s an emergency room nurse, tells me stories of little girls brought in for medical treatment because their stomachs are full of ejaculate or because their vaginas have been ripped apart by an adult man’s penis. Is that natural sex?” “Oh, you mean sex between mutually consenting adults, man and woman. Will you then want to clarify the type of sex between consenting adult males and females that is normal? Must it be one woman and one man, or can it be two men and one woman? Must it be strictly the missionary position, man on top? Vaginal only, or will you allow oral sex, too? Must there be love for sex to be normal, or is a marriage license enough? Someone, please tell me what is natural sex?” I could see the parents blushing. “Obviously,” Mr. Turner retorted quickly, “this is not a youth issue. This is not even an adult issue for church. We need to learn about Jesus.” I laughed inside as I remembered that it was talking about Jesus and his teachings that invited Jason to ask about gay and lesbian people. Jesus’ Message The parents’ concerns accurately represent the “hush-hush” polemic of the institutional church today. The problem lies with a trite and superficial view of evangelism and a limited and parochial understanding of God’s righteousness and justice. Youth groups and churches are afraid to invite youth of all sexual orientations to their group. Christian educators are satisfied using curricula whose heterocentric biases ignore the struggles of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. In order to counteract the homophobia and erotophobia that silence so many youth, we must reframe our understanding of the Gospel. Take for example the scandal that confronts us each day as gay and lesbian youth face rejection and abuse in all areas of their lives. We know that, ethically, this abuse is wrong. The question then becomes “What can we do about it?” We know that long-term programming must be considered, ranging from education to community involvement. But the disciple knows that God’s righteousness is more ➟ Biblical Affirmations for Teens—And All of Us! 1. “God honored us long ago by making us heirs without regard for our differences.” (Galatians 3:28-29) 2. “You are called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom for self-indulgence. Live so that the gifts of the Spirit are visible in and through you.” (Galatians 5:13, 16) 3. “I will praise you, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You have made me as I am; and I am your child.” (Psalm 139:13-14) 4. “Practicing radical hospitality is perhaps one of the best ways that we heirs of God can give ourselves unreservedly in obedience to God.” (Genesis 18-19) 5. “Jesus did not agree with the whole Levitical premise of exclusive holiness. It did not fit with his understanding of who God is or how God wants people to relate to each other.” (Leviticus 18:22; Luke 10:25-37) 6. “Good News! God—who has the power to accept or reject—accepts and reconciles with all of us.” (2 Corinthians 5:18) 7. “What is to be our response? As God’s gentile heirs, we are to be new creations in Christ. We are to engage in reconciling ministries with each other.” (2 Corinthians 5:18) Source Mary Jo Osterman, Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality (Chicago: Reconciling Congregation Program, 1997), pp. 12, 13, 19, 32, 38, and 41. The quotes are reflections on the biblical passages cited. 18 Open Hands Common Errors and Clichés By Melany G. Burrill Three Errors Made by Well-Meaning People That Put More Pressure on Youth ✘ Using exclusively heterocentric models of relationships in discussions, teaching/ learning settings, and examples; using “opposite sex” as the love object. ✘ Assuming sexual orientation means sexual activity. (If a young person self-identifies as lesbigay, what else could that mean but that they are sexually active?) ✘ Being non-inclusive in use of the term “family”; that is, Family = Mother + Father + Children. Three Things NOT to Say to LesBiGay Youth ✘ “It’s just a phase.” ✘ “You’re too young to know for sure.” ✘ “You can’t know for sure if you’ve never had sex.” These common errors and clichés close options in the minds of lesbigay adolescents. Persons can recognize their sexual orientation without being sexually active. And, if the world around youth is painted as so different from the ways they know themselves to be, they feel alienated and alone. By conscientiously using inclusive examples of relationships and families, we can help lesbigay youth perceive the world as one that includes them. Melany Burrill leads sexuality education events in churches for youth and parents. A Christian educator by training and background, her talents are currently being used in corporate crisis management. offended here and now by the suffering of these youth, and that God’s justice demands that they be welcomed, here and now. The answer of the disciple cannot be, “Christ, when did we see you a stranger?” It can only be “Christ, forgive us for what we do not do.” If our communal relationship with the God of righteousness and justice is to have any integrity at all, we must act in a proactive participation of applying that righteousness and justice. Pastors must make themselves available for counseling to local youth shelters. Churches must host support groups for lesbigay youth, invite lesbigay people to address the youth, and explore what it means to be in ministry with, not for, lesbigay youth. Lest we forget our call, deliberate and prophetic planning and action must occur to welcome all youth, regardless. The church must, to use Mr. Turner’s words, “learn about Jesus.” If we are to understand the purpose of our discipleship, we must never forget that the weight of Jesus’ message is inclusive, not exclusive. No one is excluded from the love of God in Christ. To follow the One who has called us to discipleship, therefore, requires more than churchy politeness. Mentioning the words “gay” and “lesbian” in a Sunday school context is not enough. We must love and invite the whole world, to the point of losing our lives, of risking funding, “reputation,” or some members of our congregation and youth group, for the sake of all God’s ones, whoever they may be. We must react to the church’s perpetuation of sinful tepidity with a holy audacity. If Jesus so loved the whole world as to dwell in it and die because of it; if the Spirit so loves the world as to live with the lesbian teenager who has been thrown out of her home, with the gay child beaten up at school, with the youth whose pastor says “Don’t come back”—then we who seek after the justice and righteousness of God must love everyone and act with everyone, knowing them as God’s family, knowing them as our neighbor.▼ Note *All names have been changed except the author’s. Trey Hall serves as campus intern at the Reconciling Congregation Program and as national co-secretary for MoSAIC (see p. 11). This fall he will begin studies at Candler School of Theology toward a master of divinity degree. AD Summer 1997 19 Suicide rates among adolescents are on the increase. Six thousand teen suicides occur yearly. Two million attempts are reported, with perhaps 20,000 more suicides reported as accidents. 2 Suicide rates are lower for females, a fact that probably reflects society’s heavier condemnation of gay males than of lesbians.3 Abused youth are in the high risk category for suicide. Young, Gay, Dead: Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers By Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell Christian Teens More Susceptible? Any upheaval during the growing up years can increase the likelihood of suicide. The pain of being homosexual in a cultural/religious/home situation that condemns homosexuality can be so overwhelming as to coerce a teenager to commit suicide. Being Christian does not prevent suicidal thoughts and actions.4 Because they want to be in heaven with Jesus or a loved one or they have an over-sensitized consciousness of sin that makes them conclude they deserve to die, some teenagers, young in the faith, may be more susceptible to suicidal thoughts than nonbelieving youth. In addition, suicide sometimes appears easier for gays and lesbians to deal with than dealing with the persons who would be hurt if they were truthful about their homosexuality.5 Gay and lesbian teenagers feel isolated, confused, and rejected. They lack the coping skills and avenues to deal with their concerns. Essence editor Linda Villarosa, a lesbian, calls the closet a “dark and lonely place” and advises young people struggling with their sexual orientation: “Do not carry this around just by yourself. You’ll go crazy. Tell somebody. Start with people you know already love you.”6 All Christians, especially those in leadership and those able to influence what goes on in our churches, ought to consider this: “Do we want our children experiencing that darkness and loneliness alone?” Helping Teens Choose Life The church is a light-bringing, darkness- dispelling village that is responsible for the raising of each child in our community. What can the church do to help homosexual teenagers choose life? First, the church must be a community that encourages truth telling. We need open discussion and efforts to understand the struggles that young people endure. Second, gay and lesbian teenagers need to find in the church counselors and ministers, youth leaders, and parents who will help them feel affirmed and offer realistic direction. Mel White tells of his relief at having masturbation discussed at church camp, but noted that the minister who enabled the discussion was immediately removed for having done so.7 Third, the church must not foster the myths and stereotypes that shape the public image of what it means to be homosexual. Can the church afford not to risk offering the opportunity for youth to be in dialogue with ordinary, Christian persons who are homosexual? Waiting until a youngster reveals conflicts about his or her sexuality is too late. Fourth, suicide needs to be discussed. Youth, parents, and youth leaders need to know the eighteen warning signs of suicide, including: avoiding or pulling away from others; decreasing communication with adults and peers; giving away prized possessions; being preoccupied with death; having a sense of “In the early, pre-dawn hours of 27 August 1982, Bobby Griffith, who had just celebrated his twentieth birthday two months earlier, did a backflip off a freeway overpass in the path of a semi-truck and trailer. He was killed instantly.... For four years, Bobby and his parents had been struggling with the fact of Bobby’s homosexuality... [S]uicide seemed the only way out.”1 —B. Jaye Miller more ➟ Suicide Incidence Gay youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people. It is estimated that up to 30 percent of the completed youth suicides are committed by lesbian and gay youth annually. Source: Hetrick-Martin “Fact File” page, quoting Gibson P. LCSW, “Gay Male and Lesbian Youth Suicide,” Report of the Secretary’s Task Force on Youth Suicides, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1989. Youth Suicides 30% Lesbian & Gay Youth Suicides 20 Open Hands My son Mitchell is five years old. He’s different from most other boys, and he has been for as long as I can remember. At home, he plays Barbies with his sister and lip syncs to music wearing dresses that twirl. He loves to have his nails polished and to wear red lipstick. At school at recess, Mitchell jumps rope or climbs the jungle gym with the girls. At home, Mitch likes to make clothes for his stuffed animals out of fabric scraps, and then makes furniture for them out of cardboard. He has a Brio train set, a huge fire truck, and a bin of plastic dinosaurs, but he never plays with them. We haul them out when boys come over to play, but the toys mostly stay up on the closet shelves. At night, Mitchell often sleeps in one of his sister’s nightgowns. Despite being an atypical boy, Mitchell is happy. He’s learned how to manage his world so that he can be himself, yet fit in with the world. His father, seven-year-old sister and I are very supportive of who he is—we don’t differentiate between “girl” and “boy” things at home. Yet, Mitchell is very clear on the world’s ideas of what’s acceptable for him to do or be. He’ll be Jasmine or Esmeralda at home, but for Halloween, when he has to walk the neighborhood, he’ll choose a boy character or an animal. On sharing day at school, he won’t bring the new Barbie he just got, he’ll bring a stuffed animal or a typical boy toy, even if it’s something that he never plays with. He’s even said that boys don’t do certain things or wear certain things. Making New Friends Mitchell doesn’t make new friends easily, he just rotates having over the same three girls he has been friends with for years. When these friends are My Son Mitchell By Teri Shugart Erickson over, they often play dress up games. Everybody gets to be a girl character. When Mitch does have a new friend over, I’ve seen him test the waters by putting on a dress or a girl costume and watching to see if his new friend notices or laughs. Or, Mitch will casually mention that he likes to wear dresses. One boy said, “Are you nuts?” and another just laughed. Girls aren’t necessarily more sensitive to the issue: new girl friends often try to make Mitchell be the boy character. Mitchell once had a good friend who was a boy. Harry. Harry’s moved away now, but I still hold up that friendship as a model for what a friendship can and should be. It’s easy for Mitchell to be friends with a girl who likes the same things he does, but it takes more work when a friendship requires accommodation of different interests. Harry and Mitchell, on their own, had mastered that art. Harry, a boy with typical boy interests, and Mitchell, a boy with typical girl interests, would play fantasy games where each boy got to be the character they wanted to be. Harry might have a dinosaur figure and Mitchell might have a girl figure, and those boys would make up a story where those two figures would play together. This friendship withstood the test of time and contact: the boys played together almost every day, and never tired of one another. I believe what made the difference in this relationship, versus other friendships that haven’t been so successful, was Harry’s mom, Lynn. She treated Mitchell with respect and acceptance. Lynn’s most important contribution to the friendship was to never try to get Mitchell to play something or be something that he had no interest in playing or being. (Many moms are convinced guilt or shame; poor personal hygiene; increase in risky behavior; self abuse; and suicide of a friend.8 Fifth, churches need to take positive action. The United Methodist Church has adopted a resolution that recognizes the problem of suicide related to homosexuality among teenagers, noting “isolation, confusion, and fear when he or she needs information, guidance, and support.”9 It directs the Woman’s Division to use its effective communication channels to provide “factual information, program ideas, and resources on this topic for use by individuals and groups.” However, they will have no impact on gay and lesbian teens unless local congregations take seriously the need to address the issues of teens, homosexuality, and suicide.▼ Notes 1Warren J. Blumenfeld, Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price (Boston: Beacon, 1992), p. 79. 2Thomas D. Kennedy, “Too Young to Die,” Christianity Today (20 March 1987), p. 19. 3David Shaffer, Marilyn Gould, and Roger C. Hicks, “Worsening Suicide Rate in Black Teenagers,” American Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 151, no. 12 (December 1994), p. 1810. 4Kennedy, p. 20. 5Mary Franzen Clark and Robert Anthony Kerr, “What a Heterosexual Christian Counselor Can Learn from Stranger at the Gate, by Mel White,” Journal of Psychology and Christianity, vol. 15, no, 4, 1996, p. 366. 6All God’s Children, video, Woman Vision, 1996. To order, write 3145 Geary Blvd., Box 421, San Francisco CA 94118 or call 415/ 273-1145. 7Clark, p. 365. 8Newscope (7 February 1997), pp. 1-2. 9“Teens at Risk,” Book of Resolutions, 1996 (Nashville: The United Methodist Church, 1996), p. 414. Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell is a board member of the national Reconciling Congregation Program and a writer of United Methodist curriculum. She is a member of Trinity United Methodist Church in Alexandria, Virginia, and is on the faculty at Howard University School of Divinity. Honoring gender differences in children is crucial to their well-being. Summer 1997 21 that they can turn Mitchell into a more typical boy.) Mitchell once had a brief friendship with a boy from his preschool class, Nicholas. What I remember most about Nicholas was the time when I was driving the boys to play at Nicholas’s house for the first time, and Nicholas told Mitch “Now, I don’t have any girl toys.” It was the voice of concern for his friend, that he might not have what Mitchell needed. Mitchell said “That’s okay” and the boys found plenty to do at Nicholas’s house that afternoon. That exchange exemplified for me what acceptance of differences is all about: we don’t pretend that they don’t exist, and we figure out ways to enjoy being together, even when we’re different. Mitchell went to a birthday party for a boy in his class last month. All the boys in his class had been invited, no girls. Beforehand, Mitch was worried about having no one to play with at the party, so I was happy to see his fears unrealized. The other boys were calling out “Hey, Mitch!” to get him to run alongside them; they included him in all their chasing and building games; Mitch was one of the guys. It warmed my heart. It was then that I realized exactly what my heart’s desire is for my child: I don’t care what he is, but I desperately want him to be liked and wanted. Well-Meaning Relatives Every Christmas, well-meaning relatives give Mitchell fire engines with sirens and action figures that transform into monsters. He cried when his sister opened the Barbie that was on his Christmas list. My sister-in-law had asked what Mitch wanted for Christmas. When I told her “a Jewel Haired Mermaid Barbie or a Sailor Moon doll,” she said that she just couldn’t buy something like that for him. She bought him a matchbox car that he gave to Goodwill. When my parents were visiting us last Christmas, Mitchell and his sister put on make-up and lipstick, and then came out to the living room to show us all. His dad said “You look wonderful!” His grandmother (my mother) just rolled her eyes. She never says that she disapproves of Mitchell’s interests, but she has mentioned several times that I need to play Legos with him more, that he loves playing Legos with her when she’s baby-sitting him. Although it’s true that Mitchell enjoys playing Legos with his grandmother, he never self-selects Legos as an activity. He selects Barbies and stuffed animals. My mother believes that Mitchell’s lack of typical boy interests is my fault. It irritates me that it is a societal goal for Mitchell to develop typical boy interests. Growing Up Knowing What Gay Is My son once told me that he wished he were a girl. I think the main reason he said that is that he wants the freedom to wear velour dresses to school, leotards to gymnastics class, and taffeta to church on Christmas Eve. Mitchell knows what being gay is. We talk about it in our family, and we read children’s stories with gay characters. If Mitchell is gay, I want him to grow up hearing about being gay in the same way that he hears about different colors of skin and special talents that only a few possess. Not as an affliction to be overcome or a cross to bear, but with the knowledge that, as God’s creation, he is perfect just the way he is and that we (his father and mother) wouldn’t change him for the world. Luckily, we both believe that. Being Included in Church Our church is not a reconciling congregation, more out of inertia than any political or religious beliefs, but we are welcoming to people who are different from us. But a church needs to be more than welcoming, it needs to be affirming. Since the United Methodist Church’s official position is anti-gay, there aren’t any children’s Sunday School materials that affirm being gay. If a child is gay, they need to see gay adults as full participants and leaders in the church, so that as they grow up in the church, they don’t see their differentness as a reason to leave the church. For churches with no openly gay congregants, it is even more important to have children’s religious books and Sunday School curriculum with ordinary gay characters. I want all children to see that being gay is not separate from being Christian. more ➟ Mitchell’s favorite dress-up clothes at age 3 (my wedding veil and shoes) Mitchell at age 4, loves to hula dance 22 Open Hands In the absence of positive gay images in written materials and accepted openly gay congregants, what the church can do right now (and ours does) is to affirm the idea of all of us being different and, at the same time, promoting the image of God creating all of us in God’s own image. We can celebrate our differences rather than only welcoming people who look just like we do. Historically, people who are different have been outcasts, and children who are different are no exception. On Children’s Sabbath last year, our Sunday School children wrote their own liturgy about outcasts (at right). I asked the question “Who are the outcasts?” and the children responded over and over again, creating this wonderful responsive reading. Notice that almost every answer has to do with being different. “I ache when I think about having to not be who you are, or to lie about who you are, to fully belong to a church.” Our family used to belong to a church more conservative than the one we belong to now. The pastors were of the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mind about homosexuality. The congregants covered the entire spectrum— both welcoming and anti-gay. But, the welcoming ones were silent. Always silent. When I invited my friend Jim, who is gay, to come to my church, he said that he wouldn’t be welcome there. And he probably wouldn’t have been—not totally. He and his partner wouldn’t have been included together in church events, wouldn’t have been part of the social fabric of church, unless they downplayed who they were. I ache when I think about having to not be who you are, or to lie about who you are, to fully belong to a church. I want more for my son. I want him to be a full participant in the life of a Children’s Sabbath Responsive Reading Who are the outcasts in our world? A girl who was born with a skin disease and a girl with one eye. Who are the outcasts? Kids with braces or glasses. Who are the outcasts? Kids who can’t hear or are blind. Who are the outcasts? Kids at my school who get there on a bus. Who are the outcasts? Kids in wheelchairs. Who are the outcasts? The special education kids who look different. Who are the outcasts? Sometimes it’s me. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? He wants us to be nice and helpful, and to treat them kindly. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? Like a brother or sister, or like a friend. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? We shouldn’t stare, and we should share our things with them. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? We should treat them the way that we want to be treated. But, that’s not just for outcasts, that’s for everybody. church, fully accepted for who he is, appreciated for what he can do. I want his spiritual life nurtured and prayed for. As he grows older, I want him to continue to want to go to church, knowing that he is an integral part of that faith community. When he is older and finds a partner, I want him to be able to commit to that partner in a religious ceremony at church, promising before God, his congregation, his family, and his friends to remain faithful for life. No matter what the sex of that partner. He is only five years old.▼ Teri Shugart Erickson is the director of Christian education at Crystal Springs United Methodist Church in San Mateo, California. —Sunday School children Crystal Springs United Methodist Church Children’s Sabbath, 1996 Summer 1997 23 My youngest son, fifteen, had come home from a school trip quite ill with several complaints. After a week of TLC, we headed for the doctor. Three doctors later we found ourselves in the hospital. I was told my son had HIV and would have about five to seven years to live. At that time I knew nothing about the virus or the disease called AIDS. We were a middle class, white, suburban, church-going family. AIDS was a disease for drug addicts and gay men. How dare AIDS invade our life! I had been raised in a strict religious faith where sex was not a topic for discussion. Therefore I had not given much sexual instruction to my own children. But Daniel had many questions, and since he could not get answers at home, school or church, he found his answers on the street. I soon realized that my life would not be the same old stay-at-home-mom. In May of 1986 we were told to keep quiet, try to help our son finish high school, and maybe a medical breakthrough would happen. If not, we should “enjoy” the times we had together. For the next few years we all lived in the closet—the closet of fear, anger, and dread of tomorrow. I did a lot of crying, praying, and arguing with God. Why me? Why? Why? And then one day I knew why! God had a plan for me: Sarah, the critical, narrow-minded woman was to become Sarah, the helper, the listener, the Christian woman as opposed to the religious woman. Only our Lord Jesus could give insight on the meaning of unconditional love. From Fear to Advocacy By Sarah M. Reed HIV positive—words that put fear in everyone’s heart… HIV=AIDS=Death. These were the words I heard on Mother’s Day, 1986. Little did I know what lay ahead for my family and me. When our son began writing for his college newspaper in 1990, he wanted us to support him in helping to educate other youth about HIV/AIDS. So I became an HIV/AIDS educator. Yet we had a big problem. We had been members of the United Methodist Church for thirty-some years, during many of which I taught Sunday school, worked for the music ministry, and served as a trustee. However, we were not welcomed when we spoke about AIDS. I tried to facilitate a support group for our area. Oh yes, we could use a room once a month at the church, but somehow the announcement got left out of the bulletin, and the room assignment was erased from the announcement board. In a church with 3500 members and six ministers, we had support from only six individuals. What should churches do for those living with HIV/AIDS? Churches can begin sex education classes for youth (and adults) in which all aspects of sexuality are discussed. Sexuality is one of God’s beautiful gifts to us, and we need to recognize that gift. We need to educate our youth so that they will have the knowledge to make healthy choices. Allowing youth to discuss such issues will help them to understand and be better educated about HIV/AIDS. We also need to provide education for parents, as many are ignorant of all aspects of AIDS, most of all the heartbreak. Our churches need to provide a safe haven for all those who find themselves with HIV/AIDS or who seek information about the disease. We need to provide trained peer educators who can understand and address problems associated with HIV/AIDS. The church needs to provide services, such as transportation to medical services or emergency money for medicines. The church might offer educational workshops on AIDS to the neighborhood and plan how to support families in need. What can you do to ensure an accepting church for HIV/AIDS affected youth? Speak up! Volunteer or help find volunteers who will provide education, support, and advocacy for our youth. Take time to write letters, not only to church leaders but also to community leaders (and politicians), asking their support for your programs. Support young people as they seek answers about HIV. Be there for them! All of us can use a loving, listening friend. Get involved, and God will bless you and your church beyond your wildest dreams.▼ Sarah M. Reed, an elementary school teacher, wife, and mother of three grown children, is an AIDS educator who volunteers for several AIDS related organizations, including the board of MetroTeen AIDS. She and her husband left the Methodist church and joined the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington D.C. where she is active in the children’s ministry, pastoral visitation, choir, and is mom to many of the members. She and her son Daniel often speak together at church, school, and community meetings. 24 Open Hands An inspiration came to me while viewing gay composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein’s monumental work Mass: that the Catholic Church may one day openly accept and bless gay relationships as part of God’s creation and encourage them as a way to give glory and praise to God. This would be providing sanctuary. The Catholic Church presently has no official program for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning young Catholics that would help them accept their sexual orientation. Recent comments by bishops, however, asking forgiveness of gays and lesbians for neglecting their needs and encouraging clergy and laity to come out of the closet with honesty is indeed encouraging.1 Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, auxiliary of Detroit, is a leader in this regard. His attendance at New Ways Ministry conferences and his acceptance of awards for his pastoral care, understanding, and compassion of gay and lesbian children of God is most heartening. The Catholic Church has accepted the reality of gay sexual orientation, but doesn’t allow open dialogue on accepting committed gay relationships. Theologically, the Church’s position is contradictory because it demands celibacy of its gay and lesbian members while admitting that celibacy in its priests requires a special gift of grace from God, a vocation, which gays and lesbians don’t have. So how can gays and lesbians as a group be expected to remain celibate?2 What are gay Catholic youth to do when they look for present day role models in the Church? Our own Paulist Parish in Boulder, Colorado, St. Thomas Aquinas University Parish, has had a Gay, Lesbian Concerned Catholics (GLCC) group for over seventeen years. Some college-age youth have attended the quarterly meetings to listen to speakers such as Sr. Jeanine Grammick, Fr. Robert Nugent, Richard Woods O.P., Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church? By John Hoffman Daniel Helminiak— a former priest, and John Fortunato. As a member of GLSTN (the Gay Lesbian Straight Teachers Network), I personally have tried to provide sanctuary for youth by my involvement in the Longmont Alliance Supporting Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth in the city where I teach. I have supplied books to my school district like Open Lives, Safe Schools. I have shared with school counselors the excellent video It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School.3 I have come out as gay in the local high school newspaper to provide one model for gay students. I have lobbied behind the scenes with school administrators to get “sexual orientation” added to our non-discrimination policy (which hasn’t been successful yet). However, it is my Church which must help offer sanctuary to young people. In their new book, Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth, Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman state that “…most gay and lesbian youth are not open about their sexual orientation in their communities of faith. Generally, the way they know whether they will be rejected or affirmed is by observing the way their church treats adult gays and lesbians… It is important to include positive education about gays and lesbians in religious instruction… Such forums will provide reassurances that, whatever their sexual orientation, gay youth will be accepted.”4 In the Catholic parish where I grew up, the words “gay” or “lesbian” were never mentioned from the pulpit. They still aren’t in many Catholic churches. It is the silence which is killing our youth. It treats them as though they don’t exist. Few priests have the courage to speak out and defend youth with a gay orientation publicly from the pulpit. This is the saddest situation that cries out for remedy. In Bernstein’s Mass, the disadvantaged youth does speak out. The celebrant answers that he doesn’t have all the answers and that each of us has the obligation to save our own souls without his leadership. He can’t do it for us. Gay Catholic youth face a similar situation. The courageous solutions they choose on their own, following their consciences, are even more deserving of our respect because of the limited guidance they receive. The Lord will understand, and church leaders will have to answer for their lack of guidance. I left Mass with tears streaming down my face in view of the sadness of the present situation for youth so prophetically envisioned by Bernstein twenty-six years ago.▼ Notes 1Bondings (Spring 1997), p. 1. Bondings is a seasonal newspaper which keeps subscribers informed of issues pertaining to lesbian and gay people in the Catholic Church. To subscribe: New Ways Ministry, 4012 29th Street, Mt. Rainier MD 20712. 2Dan Maguire, “The Morality of Homosexual Marriage,” in A Challenge to Love: Gay and Lesbian Catholics in the Church, ed. R Nugent (New York: Crossroad, 1983). 3See Selected Resources, p. 26. 4Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman, “Making Changes in Churches and Temples,” Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Youth—and their Allies (New York: Harper Collins, 1996), ch. 17. John Hoffman, Ph.D., is a gay single man who was a Catholic seminarian for nine years at the time of Vatican II. He has been a K-12 reading specialist for twentyfour years in the public school system. He represents his parish on Boulder County’s Interfaith AIDS Coalition. Summer 1997 25 For more information on the music of Home, direct inquiries to: Timothy C. McGinley, 622 North Riley Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46201 (317) 356-2215 Copyright ©1994 Timothy C. McGinley. All rights reserved. HOME The Parable of Beatrice and Neal Home from Home, The Parable of Beatrice and Neal words and music by Timothy C. McGinley Sustaining the Spirit 26 Open Hands Selected Resources Gay/Lesbian Youth Bass, Ellen and Kate Kaufman. Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Youth—and their Allies. New York: Harper Collins, 1996. Alive with the voices of over fifty young people, this is the definitive practical guide for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth—and their families, teachers, counselers, pastors, and friends. It speaks to the basic aspects of their lives. Heron, Ann, ed. Two Teenagers in Twenty: Writings by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In this new edition (first out in 1982), a new generation of teens share their experiences of hatred, isolation, and despair, and their yearnings for acceptance. Romesburg, Don. ed. Young, Gay, & Proud! New ed. Boston: Alyson, 1995. Writings by a diverse group of teens about a wide range of gay/lesbian concerns, with an appendix of famous gay and lesbian people, past and present. Teen Suicide Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son. San Francisco: Harpers, 1995. A middle-class suburban mother advised her son to pray God would heal his homosexuality. Not changed, he took his life. Three years later his mother concludes that God “had not healed Bobby because there was nothing wrong with him.” Remafedi, Gary, ed. Death by Denial: Studies of Suicide in Gay and Lesbian Teenagers. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In 1989 a federal study found that teens struggling with their sexual orientation were three times more likely than their peers to commit suicide. Findings of that report, swept away by the Bush administration, are reported along with other studies. Church Issues Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, their Families and Friends. Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991. Sixty days of prayers, with an introduction on prayer and an epilogue on scripture. Helminiak, Daniel A. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. San Francisco: Alamo Square, 1994. A basic overview of recent findings of biblical scholars. Scanzoni, Letha Dawson and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual my Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response. Rev. and upd. San Francisco: Harpers, 1994. This is a classic. Recommended first reading for just about everyone. School Issues Jennings, Kevin, ed. One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell their Stories. Boston: Alyson, 1994. Educators share their struggles and victories. Walling, Donovan R., ed. Open Lives, Safe Schools: Addressing Gay & Lesbian Issues in Education. Bloomington, IN: Phi Delta Kappa, 1996. A collection of twenty-one essays written for educators and others concerned about schooling, from kindergarten through graduate school. Premise: everyone benefits when students, parents, educators, and others are allowed to live openly in terms of sexual orientation. Videos All God’s Children. Woman Vision, 1996. 3145 Geary Blvd., Box 421, San Francisco CA 94118. 415/273-1145. 25-min. video. Focuses on “the Black Church’s embracement of African American lesbians and gay men as dedicated members of its spiritual family.” Both of My Moms’ Names are Judy: Children of Lesbians and Gays Speak Out. A project of Lesbian and Gay Parents Association. 6705 California Street #1, San Francisco CA 94121. 415/387- 9886. 10-min. video. Presents interviews of a diverse group of children (ages 7-11) who have gay or lesbian parents. Gay Youth: An Educational Video for the Nineties. Producer/Director Pam Walton. Wolfe Video, PO Box 64, New Almaden CA 95042. 40 min. video. Breaks the silence surrounding adolescent homosexuality. Contrasts the suicide of 20-yearold Bobby Griffith with the remarkable life of 17-year-old Gina Guiterrez. It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School. Women’s Educational Media, 2180 Bryant St., Suite 203, San Francisco CA 94110. 415/641-4616. 78-min. video. Produced by academy award winner Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen. Shows teachers leading class discussions with elementary and middle school children to address anti-gay prejudice. Would be helpful to Sunday school teachers who want to encourage discussion occasionally. Also, very helpful to church groups trying to encourage local public schools to encorporate gay/lesbian tolerance into curriculum. Straight from the Heart. Woman Vision, 1994. 3570 Clay Street, San Francisco CA 94118. 415/921-5687. 24-min. video. “Examines the issues parents face in coming to terms with having a lesbian or gay child.” Your Mom’s a Lesbian; Here’s Your Lunch; Have a Good Day at School. Leonardo’s Children, Inc., 26 Newport Bridge Road, Warwick NY 10990. 914/986-6888. Story of Presbyterian minister Jane Adams Spahr, wife and mother of two small boys, separated from her husband because she was a lesbian. Organizations The Hetrick-Martin Institute, Inc., 401 West St. New York NY 10014. 212/633-8920. See p. 11. Horizons, 961 West Montana, Chicago IL 60614. 312/929-HELP. Has youth support groups and services. PFLAG, PO Box 96519, Washington DC 20090-6519. 202/638- 4200. Contact for a chapter near you. Summer 1997 27 FRIDAY NIGHT WORSHIP: Rev. James Forbes, Janie Spahr, Virginia Davidson, et. al. are “Marching in the Light of God.” FIRST ML BAPTISM: The child of a couple at one of the newest More Light Churches, St. Mark in Portland, Oregon, is baptised by the Rev. David Lee. QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS: Clifton Kirkpatrick, Stated Clerk of the General Assembly, backed up by Dick Lundy, MLCN, fields questions from the audience. ENJOYING THE MOMENT: Mitzi Henderson is honored for her leadership in founding the More Light Churches Network and for her work with PFLAG. With the Rev. Steve Mathison-Bowie. LET THE LITTLE ONES COME: The increasing presence of children demonstrates the inclusive welcome of the More Light movement and its hope for the future. AMENDMENT B: Laurene Lafontaine, Scott Anderson, and Cliff Fraiser discuss Amendment B and its effects, one of many formal and informal conversations throughout the conference. SPEAKING OUT: Katie Morrison describes the dilemmas and pain that come with being a lesbian in seminary. Lesbian and gay seminarians were a vocal and enriching presence at the conference. ONE MORE QUESTION: Howard Warren (left) raises a question for Clifton Kirkpatrick, as Ken Collinson looks on. SYMBOLIC STOLES: Over 350 stoles, each from someone personally affected by the Presbyterian ban on gay/lesbian ordination, were on display. Presbyterians from across the country gathered in Portland, Oregon on 23-25 May for support, educational opportunities, worship, fun, and strategic planning for the upcoming General Assembly. 14tth Annuall Morre LLiightt Conffeerreenccee Ceelleebrrattess Neevveerr TTuurrnniinngg BBaacckk Captions: Dick Lundy Photos: Dick Hasbany 28 Open Hands Welcoming Communities MORE LIGHT More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Clarendon Presbyterian Church Arlington, Virginia Clarendon Presbyterian Church is a redeveloping congregation in a neighborhood increasingly filled with young professional people working in Washington, D.C. The Rev. Madeline Jervis reports that the congregation has a number of gay and lesbian members and has been openly inclusive for a number of years. The vote to become a More Light Church was taken following the passage of Amendment B to the Book of Order (see p. 30). Family of Christ Presbyterian Church Greeley, Colorado The Family of Christ Church is the liberal Presbyterian option in Greeley, a community of 65,000 and the home of the University of Northern Colorado. The congregation is composed of professional people and farm families. It shares its building with a Spanish-speaking congregation. The Rev. Steve Brown has been its pastor since 1985. First United Presbyterian Church Troy, New York The First United Presbyterian Church of Troy was chartered when George Washington was President. Troy is an old industrial city of 50,000 just across the Hudson River from Albany. “Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors” is found on the church sign. The Rev. Barbara Anderson, co-pastor with her husband Mark Smutny, reports that the congregation of approximately 375 members is the largest in its presbytery and gives that body considerable leadership. The Session has signed a covenant of dissent, objecting to the recent changes in the Book of Order. Sixth Presbyterian Church Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Sixth Presbyterian is situated in an urban neighborhood near the University of Pittsburgh. This congregation of 290 members, served by two pastors, John McCall and Deborah Gausmann, has a longtime involvement in a cooperative community- focused ministry. The congregation has been welcoming of gays and lesbians for many years. RECONCILED IN CHRIST St. Mark Presbyterian Church Portland, Oregon St. Mark Presbyterian began some fifty years ago on the campus of Lewis and Clark College in Portland. It is now located only several blocks away from the campus. A congregation of less than 100 members, St. Mark has been carefully deliberate in its process of becoming a More Light Church. Many of its members served on the local arrangements committee for the 1997 More Light Conference held at Lewis and Clark College in May (see p. 27). Westminster Hills Presbyterian Church Hayward, California Westminster Hills Presbyterian is a forty-one-year-old ethnically diverse congregation of approximately 75 members. The citizens of Hayward now speak fifty-seven languages. Westminster Hills is oriented toward the needs of people in its neighborhood, with three community service agencies housed in the church building. Luther Congregation Campus Ministry of Luther College Decorah, Iowa The Luther Congregation, part of the Campus Ministry program at Luther College, is a student congregation of the ELCA. Students join and participate without affecting membership in their home churches. Campus Ministry offers daily chapel, Wednesday Eucharist, Sunday worship, and a variety of learning, outreach, and service ministries. The congregation provides support and seed money for the campus Amnesty International and Habitat for Humanity chapters, as well as other groups centered on peace and justice concerns. Luther Congregation joined the RIC roster in May 1995 after a period of extended dialogue and study about ministry with gay and lesbian persons. It continues to engage in community dialogue by supporting guest speakers and advocacy events, such as a spring teach-in. The congregation’s two primary goals in carrying out its RIC ministry are to continue public affirmation of its partnership in ministry with those of differing sexual orientations and to encourage fruitful dialogue about the church’s understanding of human sexuality. Park View Lutheran Church and School Chicago, Illinois Park View Lutheran Church and School, a 220-member congregation on the north side of Chicago, voted on 27 April to become a Reconciled in Christ/Affirming Congregation. Park View has a vibrant and liturgical worship life and reaches out to the community primarily through its Christian day school (grades kindergarten to eighth). “I have a good feeling about the process,” said Rev. Timothy Dean, Park View’s pastor. “We had a lot of discussion, out of our baptism.” Park View hopes to become more involved with the local chapter of Lutherans Concerned and will likely study the biblical resource Claiming the Promise (see ad, p. 32) in the fall. Summer 1997 29 WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. RECONCILING First United Methodist Church Boulder, Colorado First UMC was founded in 1859 during the early Gold Rush years in Colorado. The congregation’s present building in downtown Boulder was completed 100 years after its founding. The current congregation of about 500 members is engaged in a variety of community ministries, including a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, and the Boulder Community AIDS Project. New persons coming to the church note the fine preaching, excellent music program, and general friendliness. The outing and dismissal of a long-time minister of youth and education, Julian Rush, in the early 1980s caused division within the congregation. Efforts to heal this rift eventually led to the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. West Valley United Methodist Church Chatsworth, California West Valley UMC was formed about ten years ago when a group of persons left a large, conservative Japanese-American church and applied to become a congregation in the United Methodist Church. This 85-member congregation carries on a ministry to Asian-Americans in the UMC, focusing on intercultural and intergenerational concerns. While the congregation maintains its Japanese-American identity, its mission statement affirms its openness to persons of different races. The members’ experience of being marginalized—many were forced into internment camps during World War II—has led to their support of other marginalized persons, including the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. Christ Congregation (ABC, UCC) Princeton, New Jersey Christ Congregation is situated in Princeton Borough, across the street from Westminster Choir College and Princeton High School, and just a few blocks from the University. Founded in 1955 as Calvary Baptist Church, the congregation in 1968 decided to align themselves also with the United Church of Christ and changed their name to Christ Congregation. The congregation has always tried to be welcoming, open, and affirming of all persons. At present it has a diverse membership of 93. The past few years has seen a surge in the numbers of families with young children in attendance. Christ Congregational is involved in ministries at a nursing home, a residence for abused teens, and a residence for young women and infants who are HIV+. The congregation also has a ministry to foreign students and cooperates with other churches in ministries to the homeless and those in crisis. Christ Congregation joined W&A/ONA to declare publicly their inclusiveness and to show solidarity with others, especially those ABC churches that have been disfellowshipped because of their welcoming and affirming witness (see p. 30). WELCOMING & AFFIRMING NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY OCTOBER 11 Coming Out is a sure way to gain support. Coming Out helps us achieve political power and voting power. Coming Out can turn ignorance into acceptance. Coming Out means changing the tide of history. For more information, contact National Coming Out Day P.O. Box 34640, Washington, DC 20043-4640 202/628-4160 or 800/866-NCOD Fax 202/347-5323 NCOD is a non-profit educational project of the Human Rights Campaign Fund Foundation. Triangle Ministries ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ A Center For Lesbian & Gay Spiritual Development 14 White Birch Lane, Williston, VT 05495 802-860-7106 or Email: revcsl@aol.com Offers Weekend Retreats In Burlington, VT “Surfacing Our Souls” A Study of Families, Fear, & Faith November 28 - 30, 1997 “Having the Holy in Our Holidays” December 19-21, 1997 “Body & Soul” A Valentine’s Retreat For Lesbian Couples February 13 - 16, 1998 Contact for rates, registration, & further information Or visit TM web page hhtp://members.aol.com/revcsl 30 Open Hands Movement News Alaskan Baptists Disfellowship Church Alaskan American Baptists voted in April to notify the Church of the Covenant in Palmer, Alaska, that their membership in the state body is being terminated. This vote ends a process that began over a year ago. In April 1996 the Alaska Association of Baptist Churches adopted a resolution that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” The Church of the Covenant is a member of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, a national network of Baptist churches that advocates for full acceptance of gay persons in the life of the church and for full civil rights of gay persons. Its pastor, the Rev. Howard Bess, is a member of the Open Hands advisory committee. In October 1996, the Alaska Association voted to admonish the church (see news item in Winter 1997 issue of Open Hands). Church of the Covenant made it clear that the dropping of its commitment to justice for gay persons would not be considered. At the 18 April 1997 meeting in Anchorage, representatives from Church of the Covenant introduced a motion calling for dialogue on issues related to the relationship of gay believers and churches. The motion failed, with only the representatives of Church of the Covenant voting for dialogue. Church of the Covenant joins five other American Baptist Churches—First Baptist Church of Granville, Ohio, and four California churches—that have already been dismissed from their regional bodies. These actions are under appeal to the national body. The six churches are still considered American Baptist churches and remain in good standing within the denomination. Hundreds Dance at Water’s Edge More than 200 people attended the “Wade On In: Dancing at the Water’s Edge” event held 28-30 June at the La Verne (California) Church of the Brethren and at the University of La Verne. The conference, sponsored by the Church of the Brethren Womaen’s Caucus, Brethren Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC), the La Verne Church of the Brethren, and the University of La Verne, emphasized drawing closer together while celebrating our diversity. Conference activities included evening worship, music, Sunday morning worship with the La Verne congregation, a theater performance, “Coming Out, Coming Home,” exploring issues of sexuality and acceptance, and afternoon conversation circles. A “Ritual of Tears” marked the opening evening worship, at which laments were heard concerning fear for the direction of church decision-making bodies as well as rejection of individuals and groups by the larger Church. Symbols of healing waters appeared throughout the conference, however, to remind participants of their ability to move forward in faith toward an inclusive and affirming church. At the concluding service BMC executive director Jim Sauder invited conference goers to “wade, jump, plunge, or slowly inch your way into the water of new life.” A final toast of sparkling juice encouraged each to go with the knowledge that together they were reating new wine from the water. Good News from Presbyterian General Assembly A refreshing spirit of reconciliation permeated the meeting of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Syracuse, New York in mid-June. In the search for middle ground on the issue of ordination for gays and lesbians, the Assembly voted to send a new, far less restrictive, amendment than the commonly called “fidelity and chastity” (Amendment B) for ratification by presbyteries. The new amendment, termed B+ by many, would require those seeking ordination to “demonstrate fidelity and integrity in marriage or singleness, and in all relationships of life” rather than living “in fidelity within the covenant of marriage of a man and a woman or chastity in singleness,” as in Amendment B. It would require church officers to “lead a life in obedience to Jesus Christ under the authority of scripture” rather than as Amendment B said, “in obedience to scripture.” The new amendment states that “candidates for ordained office shall acknowledge their own sinfulness, the need for repentance, and their reliance on the grace and mercy of God to fulfill the duties of their office” rather than Amendment B’s “persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/ or installed” as church officers. The leadership of PLGC (Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns) stressed that this new amendment would not clear the way for the ordination of gays and lesbians, but is a major step back from the polarizing stance adopted by last year’s General Assembly. New Development/Media Staff for Welcoming Movement A grant from the First United Church in Oak Park (Illinois) will provide for the part-time employment of a development/ media associate for the welcoming church movement. Marty Hansen, Presbyterian layperson from Chicago, will begin this new position in September. He will work out of the Reconciling Congregation Program national office. Prior to beginning this new ministry, Marty was director of development for Horizons, a gay/lesbian social service agency in Chicago. Marty will cultivate foundations and churches or agencies with large mission budgets as possible funders of projects in the various denominational welcoming church programs. He will also seek to heighten the national media visibility of our ecumenical movement. Your suggestions of funding and media contacts to assist Marty in this critical work can be sent to him at 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago IL 60641; fax 773/ 736-5475. Summer 1997 31 Call for Articles for Spring 1998 Sexual Ethics Seeking both analytical articles and personal stories that explore the power of sexuality and the role of ethics in channeling that energy toward life-giving relationships, within the continuous (re)interpretation of Christian tradition. How do you make ethical decisions about relationship issues? How do you deal with ethical decisions that go against the prevailing societal and religious norm? How do you understand and live with(in) old sexual ethical paradigms and new ones? Do you think ethics should “channel” sexual energy through guidelines or “contain” that power through rules and laws? Write with idea: October 1 Manuscript deadline: February 1 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Who Reads Open Hands? Thank you to the 416 people who completed the readers’ survey about Open Hands last winter. Thanks also to the 154 people who wrote personal comments about the magazine. Here is just one, a comment from Bob Banner of Atlanta: “Open Hands is important because it is both the voice of and report on the Welcoming movement that has grown from within the mainline churches. Open Hands is helping to spread the central message of the Bible (that ”the Church“ is supposed to be spreading!) that Jesus himself came to teach: that there are no ‘guidelines’ for separating human beings from one another— that classifications are without significance in the matter of God’s love for us and our love for each other.” Who reads the magazine? The new survey indicates that of the 416 responses, 52.2 percent of our readers are male and 46.6 percent female. Readers are 45.7 percent heterosexual, almost 31 percent gay, 16 percent lesbian, and 5.5 percent bisexual. Readers are 95.7 percent white and 4.1 percent other races. Almost 35 percent of our readers live in cities, while 31 percent live in a major metro area, 15 percent each live in suburban areas and small towns, and 2 percent live in rural areas. Just over 52 percent are laypersons, 36 percent are clergy, and almost 7 percent are other church professionals. Just under 50 percent are United Methodists. The next biggest denominational groups of readers are United Church of Christ at 12.5 percent and Presbyterian at 7 percent. Twenty-five other denominations or affiliations are also represented within our readership. Upcoming Gatherings 2-5 October 1997 Called on the Journey: Sacred Spaces of our Lives. Global gathering of CLOUT (Christian Lesbians Out), an international movement. Portland, Oregon retreat center. Contact: Leanne Kerner 503/281-5405, 3011 NE Hancock, Portland OR 97212 or e-mail: mamadyke@aol.com. 3-5 October 1997 Table Music: Embracing Difference, Creating Harmony. First Western Canadian Mennonite and Church of the Brethren Conference, Canmore, Alberta. For Supportive Congregations and lesbian/gay/bisexual people. Contact: Heather, 403/987-4974, or fax 403/987-4089. 10-13 October 1997 No Longer Strangers... Lutherans Concerned Western US/ Canadian Regional Retreat, Holden Village, Washington. For lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered, queer, and non-gay Christians. Contact: John Eric Rolfstad, 206/937-4490 or write 3828 Beach Drive SW, #201, Seattle WA 98116. W&A Baptists at Biennial Meeting When the American Baptist Churches met in Indianapolis, 24-27 June, Welcoming & Affirming Baptists were there! Rainbow flags were evident on name badges. A prayer from the podium in an evening plenary session called for recognizing the Christ in those present who may have a different sexual orientation. Utilizing the biennial theme, “Rooted in God’s Word,” W&A Baptists offered delegates materials and opportunities for conversation regarding the biblical foundations for affirmation of lesbigay persons. Following a procession of banners and rainbow flags, over 400 persons packed nearby Christ Church Cathedral for the W&A service of worship, a highlight of the week. Dr. James Forbes, senior pastor of Riverside Church, NYC (W&A/ONA), preached on “More Light from the Spirit on Sexuality.” He encouraged worshipers to seek foundational principles set forth by Jesus Christ in the Bible and charged them to be advocates with the Advocate. “Like a mother who claims her gay son, ‘He’s mine,’ Momma Eternal says, ‘Don’t mess with my gay children, they’re mine!’ Open the closet door!” he challenged. “It is the job of the church to open the closet door for Jesus’ sake! You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” UCCL/GC Celebrates New ONA Churches In late June, 180 supporters of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns (UCCL/GC) met at Ohio State University in Columbus to worship, learn, play, and make history as the group’s largest National Gathering! This great crowd celebrated the 25th anniversary of the UCCL/GC’s ministry in the United Church of Christ. At the sold-out banquet, participants celebrated 52 churches who have been listed as Open and Affirming (ONA) since the 1995 General Synod. 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 13 No 1 - Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/db640fa58a07309398546670f5b8bc6e.pdf 8e09f63e2b5fb78666b20b224d241397 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 13 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 13 No. 2 Fall 1997 2 Open Hands Vol. 13 No. 2 Fall 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. NEXT ISSUE: We’re Welcoming! Now What? FROM ONE WOMB, AT ONE TABLE The Rites of Baptism and Communion AFFIRMING ONE BAPTISM The Baptismal Promise: A Whisper from the Womb 4 MARILYN ALEXANDER How do queer Christians remain strong enough in the faith to witness to the baptismal promise of radical equality? Divinely Knitted in my Mother’s Womb 7 DICK POOLE Psalm 139:1-18 expresses poetically how God has claimed us even in our mother’s womb. Welcoming Waters: Baptismal Traditions and Inclusivity Concerns 8 GAYLE CARLTON FELTON Baptism is about radical grace—and radical equality. Baptists and Baptism: Diversity and Spiritual Responsibility 10 TIMOTHY PHILLIPS Is baptism about what we profess about ourselves or about our spiritual responsibility within our faith communities? Reflections on the Trinitarian Formula 11 GAYLE CARLTON FELTON The traditional naming of God is explored. CLAIMING ONE TABLE Gathering at God’s Feast 12 SCOTT WEIDLER In God’s time frame, the maitre d’ (the church) will be as hospitable as the host (Christ)! When I Come to the Table of Remembrance 15 SKIP JONES A gay Baptist shares his journey—from infant dedication to feeling fully included at God’s table. Fall 1997 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Designer In Print—Jan Graves Illustrations Kari Sandhaas Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Margarita Suaréz, ONA Stuart Wright, RIC RCP PHOTO DISPLAY 27 WELCOMING COMMUNITIES 28 SELECTED RESOURCES 30 MOVEMENT NEWS 31 ASIDES “In a profound sense...” ............... 6 THOMAS DIPKO Communion Closet (cartoon) ...... 13 CHRIS GLASER Mexican Folk Story (children) ...... 16 MARY POPE A Reconciling Meal 16 MARY POPE A pastor in inner city Des Moines describes a multichurch, multi-cultural, multi-class, multi-orientation Christmas Eve meal and communion. Eucharist Defines Who We Are 17 JEFFREY PULLING MCC churches hold together three ingredients in their understanding of communion. GIFTING THE CHURCH Wound with a View: Our Gift to the Church 18 CHRIS GLASER Our “wound with a view” provides queer Christian survivors with a God-given opportunity to serve as “wounded healers.” Beginning with Theology, Not Lifestyle 20 RONALD COUGHLIN The United Church of Canada offers a model for change that focuses on who can be a member of the church. Native Memories 21 ELEANOR H. JOHNSON An American Indian woman shares her reflections on native understandings of baptism and communion. Sharing God’s Grace-Filled Gifts 22 HOWARD B. WARREN, JR. A pastor takes authority for offering God’s gifts of baptism, communion, anointing, and holy unions to marginalized gays and lesbians. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Bethany Tuesday: A Place at the Table 24 MELANIE MORRISON A new table ritual celebrates the inclusiveness of “Bethany Tuesday” during Holy Week. “Come to the Table” 26 JULIAN RUSH “Come to the table where we are able to join in the feast and to share in the love.” —From the musical “Caught in the Middle.” 4 Open Hands As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. —Gal 3:27-28 NRSV Thus the rite of baptism does not accomplish the equality it is witness to, but it is prophetic and empowering. It calls the community forward continually in the struggle to realize its own baptismal character as a community of equals “in Christ.” —Marjorie Procter-Smith In Her Own Rite1 Baptism. A rite of water and the Spirit. A welcoming party. A plunge into the deep end of the pool. The sign of the Great Equalizer. God’s way of reminding us of the sacred worth of each of us. What a splendid beginning. What a guidepost for each of us to claim each other as children of God and also to know ourselves in that way. What a promise. Then the needle runs off the record and we hear only the scratching sound of a phonograph off kilter. If we are all recognized through baptism as members of the Body of Christ, how then can the church—as we see through mainline denominations—exclude lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered Christians? Why would the Christian community put their core theology in such jeopardy by their witness of queer hatred, judgment, and fear?2 When we feel the impact of this discrimination, how can we as queer Christians be strong enough in our faith to continue to witness to the baptismal promise of radical equality? Whisper of Grace—or Duty? It was a bright sunny day. In the clear blue sky a lone falcon soared circles above our heads. We were on our way to The Womb, a cave-like shelter under the red rock cliffs outside Sedona, Arizona, aptly named for its curved walls and v-shaped ceiling. As we approached this curiosity, we stopped for a shaded rest and a soothing drink. Our guide led us in a meditation asking Mother Earth for permission to enter her sacred ground. I closed my eyes, listened to our guide’s flute music, and breathed in the smell of sage and dust. My eyes filled with tears as I asked the earth to allow me to walk on her body, suddenly aware of the days I trudge through life questioning my place here. A melody came to me. “You are a part of the earth. You are a beloved part of the earth. You are loved by the earth.” I could see an old woman’s face in the red rock, hair wisps flowing gracefully in the wind, calmly whispering her welcome. I have a friend whose mother instilled in her the old axiom “You must justify your square foot of earth.” The image of each of us standing on our own separate piece of sod slides through my mind. We would raise our hands when we felt like we had done our duty, asking if we could be excused now to go play. As queer Christians, in contrast to the baptismal promise of God’s unconditional acceptance, it is easy to feel ourselves on a collective strip of sod, working hard to justify our existence in the church. This is the message of mainline denominations: “Once you finish with practicing your foolishness in bed, then you can be ordained, lead choirs, and in general be full members of the Body of Christ. But until that time, you have not justified your square foot of God.” How then do we muster up our strength, draw on the wellspring of the baptismal promise, and remain rooted in our Christian communities? How do we answer the prophetic call of baptism to create communities of “equals ‘in Christ’”? The Baptismal Promise: A Whisper from the Womb By Marilyn Alexander Fall 1997 5 Baptismal Promise Unraveled After camp was over in 1993, I was told that I could no longer be on the senior high youth camp staff if I was going to be out as a lesbian. I had served five consecutive years of faithful and lively service at this campsite, but I knew the discriminatory mandate was coming. I had already seen the very ugly face of homophobia enter our campfire ring, poisoning the smoke soul of our Christian community. It was during the youth talent show that the baptismal garment began to unravel openly. Two young men began their piece by saying they hoped they did not offend anyone. They then began singing an original song about the intimate feelings they had for one another, peppered with the chorus, “We’re not gay. We’re not gay. We’re not gay.” Those may not be the words exactly, but that was the message. “We care for each other, but we’re not you.” I was stunned. This came at the end of a long week in which I had been asked to be silent about being a lesbian and to closet any intimate conversations with my partner who was also on staff. However, I was even more dismayed when I was told that one of the adult co-leaders had approved the song. The youth had gone to him earlier in the day because they had a feeling that something about the song might not be right. For whatever reason, he gave his okay. This was after five years of growing a Christian camping community based on principles of love and justice. The year before, we had built a program around a quote by South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu: “Oppression is not only evil, it is blasphemous because it makes a child of God doubt that s/he is a child of God” and another by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” We had openly addressed issues of racism, sexism, and heterosexism. This was the community I had come to know, but now I wondered if only in words, only in intellect. The adult staff could have recovered even at that point after the talent show revelations. There was still time for the essential lesson in Christian community, one of confession, repentance, and reconciliation. But it did not happen. The fear of what would happen if the camp was perceived to be centered on “the issue of homosexuality” was so great that it kept the primary Christian message from being experienced. The smoke choked us; the fire chilled us. I left with a profound sense of loss. Also, I knew that because I could not speak for myself as a lesbian, I had been made (and in my acceptance of that silence I had made myself) powerless to address the two young men. Those two and I ended camp in the closing circle with a look and a nod that spoke unknown volumes, wondering if the circle would ever be complete again. Renewed in the Waters Now it’s August 1997. I’m back on the lake shores with the sparkling water at my front and tall pine trees at my back, smelling the delicious air, wondering why in the world I ever came back. At General Conference in 1996 the bishop had given me an open invitation to come back to camp any time. The new camp dean, along with a close friend, saw to having my travel expenses covered. Still, why put myself through this? But, four years later, I am an out lesbian. I am no longer silent. I do not have to depend on others to speak for me as a lesbian child of God. My sexual orientation is no secret to the camp staff or to the church at large. So why the more ➟ 6 Open Hands “It was a profound moment... the broken circle had now come back together.” knot in my stomach, the reluctance to trust the Christian community one more time? The two young men from the 1993 talent show are now graduating from college and just happen to be staffing a junior camp at the same campsite, the same week. It’s been four years since we laid eyes on one another. Do I want this reunion? We sit to the side of the crowded, boisterous, camper-filled dining hall. They tell me how long they have waited for this time of reconciliation. I can barely hear their words. They each tell me what led up to writing and singing their song, what they saw happen as a result of it, and how their lives have changed since. I tell them that I did not hold them totally responsible since they as youth had gone to an adult for advice. “Even then,” one says, “we must have known something was wrong or we wouldn’t have asked about it.” The other explains, “We were trying to affirm male intimacy.” The one adds, “One step forward, two steps backward.” The other continues, “My life took a 180 degree turn in a matter of days. I couldn’t believe that I had hurt someone I loved. I describe that time as ‘when God hit me with a brick.’ That’s when I felt God calling me into the ministry. I have gone through that time over and over and over in my head. I know back then I was homophobic; that’s how I had been raised. I should have known that was still a stab that I was putting out there in the song.” We all knew it had been a long four years. In my absence and silence, they had to search their own hearts and souls; they had to really seek for answers. They had been on a journey towards claiming the baptismal promise, seeing the Body of Christ as a community of equals. That evening, I led a program on sexuality with the seventy senior high campers. We laughed and joked about how we show affection, how we express our sexual attractions, ways we are in relationships. We got a bit more serious as I described the continuum of sexual orientation, what it means for all of us to have a sexual orientation— bisexual, lesbian/gay, straight. Then we moved into a segment on labeling others and hating things we fear. At that point, one of the former campers came forward and told his story, from how he had been raised in these camps, to the homophobia he learned growing up, to the details (without identifying me) of that talent show now so long ago. The campers were spellbound as he confessed his transgression, told how it had affected his life, and described our reconciliation just hours old. Then he called me by name. It was a profound moment of tears and hugs, there in the very room where the talent show had been held, and where the broken circle now had come back together. I broke the spell of silence, told of the poison that silence is, and how I never thought I would come back to this place. I told them of a letter my grandfather once wrote to my mother when she was a young child, telling her, “Do not be so thoroughly convinced of a certain thing that to have it changed would wreck your thoughts and so your life.” I told them that I was glad I did not hold onto the homophobia I had been taught in the church, that I was glad I could let go of that and instead open up to and hold onto God’s powerful love for me. And I said that I was glad this young man did not hold on to his homophobia, for when he let it go, his whole life opened up anew to him. What a moment. What an amazing lesson in Christian community. We do make mistakes, sometimes terribly hurtful ones. However, we can then choose to learn from them. We can risk having our lives changed. We can be renewed in the waters of baptism. As we seek new life, we can emerge dripping with the remembrance of the sacred worth of each child of God. Strength in the Whisper Queer Christians can say “No more!” to discrimination. We can even leave a void where once we served in silence. We can allow our absence to become a classroom for those who seek to learn. Many times it is the queer Christians who must take the first step in exemplifying the radical equality taught to us through the rite of baptism. It is then when we must claim without a doubt that we are children of God. We know this, not because we have justified our square foot, but because God has claimed us as God’s own. We find our strength in the baptismal promise, the whisper You are a part of me. You are a beloved part of me. You are loved by me. ▼ Notes 1Marjorie Procter-Smith, In Her Own Rite (Nashville: Abingdon, 1990), p. 145. 2“Queer” is a term increasingly used in a positive way by the lesbian/gay, bisexual, and transgendered communities to denote their connections with each other. Marilyn Alexander serves as a private consultant and guest speaker to churches and other organizations on issues of risktaking, community building, and spiritual renewal. A United Methodist, she is the co-author of We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays. “In a profound sense, it is hypocritical of the church to speak of the ‘civil rights’ of gay or lesbian persons when we are not willing, in civil and reasoned and prayerful discourse, to speak first about their baptismal rights in the Body of Christ which they do not wish to leave.” —Thomas Dipko, Executive Vice President United Church Board for Homeland Ministries Source This quote is taken from a widely circulated letter of Thomas Dipko’s which he originally sent to St. Paul United Church of Christ in Glenford, Ohio. Used with permission. Fall 1997 7 “Prayer for deliverance from personal enemies (a lament).” That’s the reference to Psalm 139 in the footnotes of the New Oxford Annotated Bible (NRSV). I suppose that’s true, when taking the psalm as a whole. But it is the psalm’s first eighteen verses that often form my prayer. For me those verses are exclamations of praise and awe— and profound truth. For much of my life I have been plagued with “poor self image.” Given that I am by personality a perfectionist, that poor self image is no surprise. You see, I can be acceptable only if I am perfect; and since I am never perfect (or only in illusory ways), I find myself in this dilemma of poor self image. Along with that has resided a poor sense of “body.” As far back as I can remember, I have had a sense that I was fat and unattractive. I hated my body; I hated who I was. Why couldn’t I be thin, muscular, athletic, popular, out going? As I moved into middle age, I realized that things (especially my body) weren’t going to get any better. My weight was less controllable because my metabolism was slowing down. My hair was falling out— and what was left was increasingly gray. Nearsightedness was progressing toward bifocals. My digestive system began crying out for an acid blocker. Then came a spiritual retreat. I began focusing on a recently reclaimed photo of myself around age one year, and I was deeply touched by how happy and self-assured that little one seemed to be. Oh, not at all like me (as I experienced myself). Where could that little one be hiding in my memory? My spiritual companion during that retreat suggested Psalm 139:1-18 as a basis for my prayer. With that, a new world began to open. For it was you (God) who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. —Ps 139:13-14 For I am fearfully and wonderfully made. How those words assaulted me! Somehow these words struck me not simply as a theological precept but as a most basic truth, yet a truth which I had never known before. There is something wonderful and awesome about me—and not only my mind (which I had learned to recognize as “good”) but also my body, my physical fleshiness. I was astounded, but also liberated. That one-year-old baby whose photograph mesmerized me knew something that I had long forgotten, i.e., that I am good—all of me: my fleshy “pot,” my balding head, my softening muscles. There in front of me in the Bible were the words: I am wonderfully made. In my physical, human birth from my mother’s womb— even there— God’s hands were active, lovingly molding me to be who God wanted me to be. Who am I (or anyone else, for that matter) to declare God’s creative work sordid or despicable or bad? “God’s hands”— certainly metaphor— but what a wondrous way of acknowledging God’s intimate presence in our coming to being. Indeed, it is an affirmation of our “inspirited bodies” or of us as “embodied spirits”—“God with us” and even more, “God in us.” No, it is not a description of some sadistic Creator God who plots who will be blind or lame, who will be diseased mentally or physically. Rather, it is a great “YES!” to God’s presence in all of us no matter what forms our fleshiness take. Even more empowering was that event on 27 July 1947—before I could say anything or do much of anything— that event which took place at Messiah Lutheran Church, Wesleyville, Pennsylvania— that very concrete event of baptism. There and then God and the church declared me acceptable, beloved— forever! Post-baptismal criteria for judgment just don’t work. There was nothing in the baptismal rite about how the sacrament does not have any effect if the baptized one turns out to be overweight and flabby, or has a poor self image, or is gay/lesbian/transgender/ bisexual. What was true at the time of baptism is still true: I am (we are) acceptable to God. Indeed, I am fearfully/ awesomely and wonderfully made. No one can abrogate that divine fact. And because of it, I am free. Thanks be to God! So, all is well? Not completely. I am still concerned about what people think about me and how they perceive me. I still get upset at times about being overweight. I still think on occasion that I ought to be perfect. Yet deep within me I know that all this stuff is nothing in light of God’s creative hand in the womb— both the physical womb of my mother and the symbolic womb of the baptismal font by which I was born into the people of God. ▼ Dick Poole is a Lutheran pastor who does spiritual direction/companioning at The Claret Center in the Hyde Park area of Chicago. He is a member of Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, an RIC congregation, and serves on the Open Hands advisory committee. Divinely Knitted in my Mother’s Womb By Dick Poole 8 Open Hands “Baptism... not only a sacrament of radical grace but... of radical equality.” In none of my historical research on baptismal traditions in United Methodism and its predecessor denominations have I found any mention of homosexual persons or practices. It is important to realize that this issue simply did not exist for our church throughout most of its history. Evidently persons who lived in same-sex relationships—as was rather common in the nineteenth century, especially for women—were welcomed into Christian fellowship and church membership without hesitation. Questions concerning the acceptance of lesbian and gay persons in United Methodism arose only during the three most recent decades. Examination of how our historical traditions can inform us in the church’s current debates must focus not on past happenings but on enduring, fundamental theological presuppositions and how they have been expressed in our baptismal ministry. Radical Grace, Radical Equality One of the surprises of my research on Methodism was the failure to locate any published argument against the baptism of infants. Our administration of the sacrament to infants is a powerful expression of our traditional emphasis upon divine grace. God’s grace comes to us—all of us—as pure gift. It can never be earned or deserved. In the baptism of a baby, we see with startling clarity that all persons come to God as helpless beings, wholly dependent upon God’s gracious love, and unable to do anything to save ourselves. No where else is the radical nature of grace more richly portrayed. God loves and values those whom the power structures of society have too often viewed as nonpersons. In our present society, we need reminding of this truth, not only as it applies to infants, but even more as it applies to homosexual persons and others who are marginalized and oppressed. Baptism is not only a sacrament of radical grace, but also a sacrament of radical equality. In Peter’s vision described in Acts 10, God jolted and scandalized the apostle into recognizing that the divine favor is not limited by prejudicial human standards. This radical equality before God was symbolized in the early church by the removal of clothing from those being baptized so that they received the welcoming waters nude. Paul, who like us was unable to hold consistently to his highest spiritual insights, expresses this radical equality in Galatians 3:27-28 when he exults that those baptized into Christ have transcended human distinctions. James F. White comments on this passage that, “Sexual equality is the most radical of all.”1 While White is speaking of gender equality, I would argue that his statement best describes the radical equality of persons regardless of sexual orientation. John Wesley reemphasized the equality of the gospel by asserting that all persons are lost in sin; there is no inherent moral superiority of any group of persons. Happily, Wesley also insisted upon the universality of divine grace; all who desire to receive salvation may do so. God’s love is equally available to all. In 1667 the legislature of the colony of Virginia passed a law stipulating that the legal status of a slave was not altered by baptism. Surely the very existence of such a law is plain evidence that some were glimpsing the liberating potential of baptism. How did a person who had been baptized as one’s brother or sister in Christ still remain one’s slave? Of course, colonial Virginians had no monopoly upon the facile ability to rationalize that with which we ourselves are comfortable. The church today is similarly guilty of justifying our own ignorance and prejudices by representing them as God’s will. Nowhere is this exercised as much as in the contemporary struggle with gay and lesbian persons in both society and church. Called to “Social Religion” The sacrament of baptism calls us to account. Baptism is grounded upon the reality of a God who is active in human history, a God who is able to free us from the bondage of sin and to enable us to live transformed and empowered lives. God’s baptized people are to be engaged in the process of sanctification. We are to become a holy people, both individually and collectively. The familiar dichotomy between a faith expressed in individual piety and one exemplified in social action is absolutely false. John Wesley affirmed that “There is no religion but social religion, no holiness but social holiness.” Christians are to grow more and more into the image of Christ and to work to shape society into a facsimile of the Realm of God. To do either requires us to reexamine our values, to purify our motives, and to reorder our actions—first in our relationship with other baptized Christians and further when we dialogue with the secular world. Welcoming Waters: Baptismal Traditions and Inclusivity Concerns By Gayle Carlton Felton Fall 1997 9 It is in baptism that we are commissioned into ministry. We are assigned our task of continuing the work of Jesus Christ in redeeming the world. Wesley’s emphasis on divine grace was always balanced with the necessity of the human response of faith and faithful action. In the vows of the United Methodist baptismal ritual, we are asked, “Do you accept the freedom and power God gives you to resist evil, injustice, and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves?” To live out our affirmative answer is to devote ourselves to the struggle for justice love in all the arenas of our private and corporate life. Slowly, painfully, the church is moving toward the acceptance of racial and gender equality. Sometimes we are even practicing it! The salient issue of “evil, injustice, and oppression” facing the contemporary church is that of its attitude toward and treatment of homosexual persons. Regrettably, history shows us that there is a paranoia in human nature which causes us constantly to seek a scapegoat for personal and societal ills. In the United States, this role has been filled at various times by witches, foreigners, labor unionists, communists, and Roman Catholics, among others. Today’s scare tactics cast lesbians and gays in this role. Marked by our Baptism It is extremely disheartening to see the Christian church so often being dragged, reluctant and late, into movements for social justice. Why is it that secular forces in our culture are in the forefront of campaigns for inclusivity while the church lags behind? This has been the reality of reforms toward racial and gender inclusiveness. It is certainly the reality of the movement toward inclusion of gay and lesbian persons. The most significant impetus toward full inclusivity of all persons should not be that of political correctness or human rights or economic fairness. For Christians as individuals and for the church as an institution, even these positive values are eclipsed by the demands of the authentic gospel of Jesus Christ. Baptism incorporates us into the Christian church. The church is instituted by God to be a community of faith and love manifesting to the world what it means to live according to the purpose of God. The church cannot exemplify Christ to the world until it has been itself shaped into the image of Christ. The church cannot transform the world unless it is itself being transformed by Christ. Out of the welcoming waters of baptism can—and by God’s grace will—come a community marked by inclusivity, reconciled and reconciling. ▼ Note 1James F. White, The Sacraments as God’s Self Giving (Nashville: Abingdon, 1983), p. 97. Gayle Carlton Felton, whose Ph.D. is in history of American Christianity, is senior consultant to the Divinity School of Duke University. An elder in the North Carolina Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church, she also serves as a member of the board of directors of the Reconciling Congregation Program. ADS 10 Open Hands What do Jesse Jackson, Bill Clinton, and Jerry Falwell have in common? They are all baptized members of Baptist churches. This fact alone should give pause to anyone trying to identify a Baptist view of anything. Add the twenty-plus different Baptist groupings in the U.S., including everything from rigid Calvinists (Primitive, Reformed, and some Regular Baptists) to historic Arminians (General and Free-will Baptists) and you only begin to get the idea. Add also Baptists who represent the extremes of these views: Two-Seed- In-The-Spirit Predestinarian Baptists who believe that everyone is born elect to salvation or damned to hell based on a seed in the soul at birth about which one can do nothing, or Fire-Baptized Holiness Baptists who are free-will charismatics. There are Baptists who worship on Saturday (Seventh-Day Baptists), Baptists identified with particular nationalities (notably Swedish and German Baptists), and African- American Baptists in incorporated and unincorporated bodies (National Baptist Conventions) and in a subset known as Progressive Baptists. Even the mighty Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) which, with its nearly 14 million members, often presumes to speak for all Baptists, has its divisions; the Baptist Alliance and the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship are both responses to conservatives in the SBC. Although Baptists are popularly associated with immersion— that mode of baptism where candidates are totally submerged in water— this has not always been the case among Baptists and those who do practice it disagree about how it should be done. Baptismal Diversity Even this caricature does not do justice to the diversity of Baptists. As a non-creedal people who believe in freedom of conscience and the independence of local churches, Baptists vary widely. They generally agree that baptism is: (1) a profession of one’s faith and (2) a welcome into the believing community. Historically this has meant that Baptists do not baptize anyone who cannot profess faith (i.e., infants and usually not young children) or those who do not intend to become part of a local congregation. In the context of Baptist diversity, however, the content of the faith one is professing and the nature of the church to which one is being welcomed is determined by that person’s and the community’s theological commitments. Baptists, in other words, are likely to agree on the purpose of baptism but not on its particular meaning. A Fire-Baptized Baptist and a Reformed Baptist may both agree that they are professing faith at their baptism but their testimonies— even in their manner of expression— are likely to be very different. In simplest terms, Baptists tend to emphasize the subjective in the act of baptism. It is an expression of what the person claims about herself or himself. In other churches, especially those which baptize children, baptism is a more objective claim being made on a person by those who do so on that person’s behalf. And it is exactly at this point— the subjective/ objective— that baptism becomes difficult for lesbians and gay men. If baptism is about what I profess about myself, what happens when that profession is at odds with the theological commitments of my community? Is my welcome always contingent on a community’s agreement with what I say about myself? Gay Dilemma Several years ago I found myself in the office of a Baptist pastor talking about church membership. I understood the pastor to be an open person who had agreed to speak at support group meetings for gays and lesbians more than once. However, as we talked about joining the local church, he indicated that my friend, who had not been baptized as an adult but who had been Baptists and Baptism: Diversity and Spiritual Responsibility By Timothy Phillips Fall 1997 11 actively involved in the church for over fifteen years, would not be able to join without being baptized. This, he said, would be a problem because baptism would mean my friend had to come out about his sexual orientation and that was likely to preclude his acceptance as a member. I was furious at the exploitation this represented after all those years of faithful service. And, while I was later to baptize my friend at another Baptist church, I will never forget the agony that conversation produced. “True Church” The experience of lesbian and gay believers causes me to consider the ways this subjective emphasis in baptism leaves people with deep anxieties about their welcome in the community of faith. In the context of theological diversity, baptism among Baptists may better be understood as the act of taking responsibility for one’s spiritual life in a community of people who responsibly share their own spiritual lives in witness and service. Baptists have not so successfully maintained this balance— especially when theological agendas and pietistic individualism overwhelm the mutual responsibility of spiritual life. The founder of the First Baptist Church in America, Roger Williams, may himself be a witness to this imbalance. Williams, after leaving the theological and civil dogmatism of Puritanism to become a Baptist, later left his own Baptist congregation to become a “seeker” and despaired of ever finding a “true” church. As a welcoming and affirming Baptist, I believe “true” church can never be found in a place where people are not free to profess the truth about themselves and their faith. If spirituality is not about speaking the truth, we may all despair of ever finding a spiritual home. ▼ Timothy Phillips serves as co-minister of University Baptist Church, a Welcoming & Affirming American Baptist congregation in Seattle. He also serves as coordinator of community life at Companis Mission Workers, an agency providing volunteer professionals to not-for-profit service organizations. This traditional threefold naming of the persons of the Godhead in baptism and other rituals is the subject of considerable discussion in many denominations today. How are we to remain faithful to the orthodox Christian understanding of the nature of God while seeking ever more authentic ways of calling God by name? The problem with the traditional language is, of course, that two of the persons of the Trinity are designated by male terms—Father and Son. This should be of concern not simply to those who understand themselves as feminists, but to every faithful Christian. This concern may be not so much one of theology as one of linguistics. All language for God is metaphorical and analogical. We cannot say who God is; we can only articulate human categories through which we try to apprehend God. God is like a Judge, a Father, a Lord. Difficulties arise because language not only expresses our thoughts; language also shapes our thoughts. Centuries of using predominately masculine paternal language for God has caused those images to be taken as literal descriptions. Even more heretical, the exclusive imaging of God as male undergirds a human power structure in which males are viewed as more like God than are females. The injustices flowing from this heresy are legion. Unfortunately, it is exceedingly difficult to find human language which names God authentically, especially in formulaic usage such as in baptism and ordination. Common substitutions such as Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer fail to convey any sense of the interrelation- Reflections on the Trinitarian Formula By Gayle Carlton Felton ship of love which characterizes the Godhead. Such terminology also names God in terms of doing rather than of being and attributes to single divine persons functions in which all of the Trinity participate. The best study of this vexing issue is Ruth Duck’s Gender and the Name of God: The Trinitarian Baptismal Formula (Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1991). One option she mentions is: “In the name of God, the Source, Word, and Spirit.” This is attractive, but suffers from deficiencies similar to those mentioned above. More appealing is the formula used for years now at Riverside Church in New York City: “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, one God, Mother of us all.” This retains the traditional language, but adds maternal imagery for all divine persons. Duck herself favors the replacement of the baptismal formula with a threefold interrogation which would contain both masculine and feminine God language. All of these suggestions have merit, but none are perfect solutions to a complex problem. Stimulated by Duck’s thought, I suggest: “In the name of God who is known to us through Jesus Christ and present with us as the Holy Spirit.” The issues of prime significance are that we recognize the truly problematic nature of the traditional male language, that we apply our best thought and prayer toward a solution, and above all that we seek to speak of God and of God’s whole people faithfully and authentically. ▼ Gayle Carlton Felton is a historian of American Christianity (see p. 9). “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” 12 Open Hands “Let us build an American home for the twenty-first century where everyone has a place at the table and not a single child is left behind.” —President-elect Bill Clinton, 17 January 1993 Many of us will never forget Clinton’s words. Several days later I—a 33-yearold church musician— stood, closet door slowly creaking open, with a good friend and a million other people on the Washington mall, eagerly awaiting the inauguration of a new president and a hopeful new era. Although Clinton was not referring to the eucharistic table, the message was easily transferred to the sacramental meal. The friend I stood with was also my pastor and colleague. This was the same pastor who frequently and emphatically insisted that the altar at which he presided week after week was not his altar—but Christ’s altar. It was not the congregation’s table—but God’s table. No human restrictions can keep anyone away. God welcomes all to the holy meal. As one who grew up in a denomination that taught “close” (or “closed” as I experienced it) communion, this kind of talk seemed radical. As that closet door gradually worked its way open and, eventually, right off the hinges, I began to realize the importance of open and inclusive communion, especially for gays and lesbians. No matter what the church—in all its manifestations—says or does, everyone is welcome to God’s feast. The church is quite good at saying and singing it: This cup is the new covenant in my blood, shed for you and for all people for the forgiveness of sin. —from the Holy Communion liturgy in Lutheran Book of Worship, 1978 One bread, one body, one Lord of all; One cup of blessing which we bless, And we, though many throughout the earth, We are one body in this one Lord. Gentile or Jew, servant or free, woman or man, no more. —from “One Bread, One Body” by John Foley, S.J., b. 1939 One body we, one body who partake, One Church united in communion blest, One name we bear, one bread of life we break, With all thy saints on earth and saints at rest. —from “Come, Risen Lord” by George W. Briggs, 1875-1959 Gathering at God’s Feast By Scott Weidler Fall 1997 13 Elect from ev’ry nation, yet one o’er all the earth; Her charter of salvation: one Lord, one faith, one birth. One holy name she blesses, partakes one holy food, And to one hope she presses with ev’ry grace endued. —from “The Church’s One Foundation” by Samuel J. Stone, 1839-1900 Oh, praise inclusive love, encircling ev’ry race, Oblivious to gender, wealth, to social rank or place. We praise you, Christ! Your cross has made us one! —from “Oh, Praise the Gracious Power” by Thomas H. Troeger, b. 1945 Just as the bread broken was first scattered on the hills, then was gathered and became one, so let your Church be gathered from the ends of the earth into your kingdom, for yours is glory and power through all ages. —from The Didache, ca. 2nd century Remembering God’s Time Despite what the church prays together in word, deed, and song, many of us know the harsh realities of noninclusive communities gathered around Word and sacrament. How can persons, alienated from the very assembly that claims to be “one body in Christ,” claim their place at God’s table when the maître d’ is unwilling to seat them? Ironically, I look to my German pietistic Lutheran roots for help. (These roots are not known for inclusivity or hospitality.) As a child in a Lutheran parochial school choir, I remember singing the text: “God’s time is the best time.” Somehow, I always knew that God operates with a different clock and calendar than we do. Years later, while in graduate school at Notre Dame, this understanding was confirmed during a discussion of historic eucharistic debates. Father Taft clearly explained that the debates of how this becomes that, or when this changes, or what is transformed, all take place in human time. For God “a day is like a thousand years.” Father Taft’s term for this was “eternal simultaneity.” All things occurring in human time are forever and always taking place simultaneously in God’s time. Because of our baptism, we are adopted into God’s time and out of the restraints of human time. The human situation, including the exclusion of gays and lesbians at many Christian assemblies, is not operative in God’s time. Writer Madeleine L’Engle, in her subtly radical and evocative way, often speaks of the myth of Christianity. She helps shatter the shell of literalness that often limits our corporate Christian experience: When I receive communion I am partaking in the most sacred myth and ritual of the Christian church (and let us remember that myth is about truth). When we receive the bread and the wine we receive the truth of Jesus’ promise, the truth of his love. We don’t need to get hung up on words like transubstantiation, which tend to take the Eucharist out of the truth of more ➟ CREDIT: Chris Glaser’s cartoon was originally published in More Light #23, 1 October 1977. Used with permission. 14 Open Hands myth and into the wimpiness of fact. What happens when we receive the bread and wine is a mystery, and when we try to explain it in any way we destroy our own ability to partake in the truth of this marvelous and eternally mysterious ritual. When we receive the bread and the wine we are indeed taking into ourselves Christ’s love, that love that will be finally expressed in the Second Coming.1 Hopefully, we also receive a healthy dose of patience as we receive Christ’s love. If we remember Christ’s welcome, we can move with assurance to the table week after week, no matter who or what may wish to exclude us. When we leave the table, however, we reenter human time with all its realities, struggles, and an occasional surprising joy! To God, the past and current struggles for full communion within the Christian family are happening simultaneously with the joyfully inclusive celebrations of the future. We can only know a glimpse of these celebrations and anticipate them with fervent prayer and hope. However, this must never lead us to complacency. There will be great rejoicing when God’s time and human time intersect, but we must persevere in persistently and calmly moving the church to that goal. This is seldom easy. If the maître d’ at the front door of a restaurant is inhospitable to us, it may be easiest to back away and try a different dining establishment. However, when we know that Christ is the host, shouting from the back kitchen for us to come in and take a seat at the head of the table, how can we say no? The feast is waiting. It’s a fabulous feast that is generous and graciously served with food enough for all God’s children. These children, blessed by God to be gay and lesbian Christians, must remain an active part of the whole church. Separating into our own agenda-driven community will never cause the necessary intersection to occur. We must hear God’s Word together, study and teach together, feed the hungry together, usher together, sing together, prepare the altar together, and most of all, feast together. Patient waiting may seem like an eternity to us, but, again quoting Father Taft, “eternity isn’t a hell of a long time for God.” Receiving the Healing This past August, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America celebrated its tenth anniversary with a banquet, under the theme “Grace Us With Your Presence,” at its churchwide assembly in Philadelphia. The decorations for the evening came from more than a thousand young children living near Philadelphia who were asked to draw pictures of what it would look like if Jesus hosted a dinner for his friends. The diversity of those gathered in fellowship with God was remarkable. The varied races, genders, and classes were clearly recognizable in some drawings. Although physical appearance didn’t identify any of the guests as gays or lesbians, I know they were there. And probably more than 10 percent! Our patient persistence is bearing fruit, if not in our own generation, most certainly in the next. Perhaps unknowingly, these children share a vision where all God’s people are openly welcome at the eucharistic banquet and the maître d’ is as hospitable as the host. Sometimes the struggle has its casualties. In any worthwhile effort, people may be wounded in the process. In claiming our place at the table, it is the meal itself that offers healing: “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”2 To absent oneself from the sacrament removes one source of healing given and guaranteed directly from God. Being a church musician, I am convinced that the church eventually becomes and believes what it sings: Ho, ev’ryone who thirsts: come to the waters! All you who have no money: come to the feast! And you who are enslaved: come to the waters! This is the feast of freedom: come to the feast! For this is life: the waters that have freed you: For this is life: the saving stream of God: For this is life: to share around the table: O come to the feast! And all who are oppressed: come to the waters! This is the feast of justice: come to the feast! And you, the lost and broken: come to the waters! This is the feast of healing: come to the feast! For this is life: to die and rise in Jesus: For this is life: to share the life of Christ: For this is life: the bread and wine of justice: O come to the feast!3 Bill Clinton’s vision for a thoroughly inclusive America may have been overshadowed by other events following his inauguration. So it often seems that way with the church. It can be difficult to catch a glimmer of hope through the ecclesial mire that seems to surround so much activity in which Christians are engaged. Yet through it all, the message of the gospel remains clear—whenever we eat this bread and drink this cup, we proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes (1 Cor 11). Our mandate—and our welcome—could not be any clearer. ▼ Notes 1Madeleine L’Engle, “The Rock That is Higher: Story as Truth,” in Glimpses of Faith. 2From the Roman rite (based on Matthew 8). 3Verses are from “Come to the Feast” text by Marty Haugen. Copyright © 1991 by GIA Publications, Inc., 7404 South Mason Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60636. Used with permission. Scott Weidler lives in Chicago where he serves the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America as associate director for worship and music. Fall 1997 15 When I Come to the Table of Remembrance By Skip Jones First things first! We (every lesbian woman and every gay man) are children of the King. To God be all glory, honor, and praise. Why? Because God is holy and worthy, because God gives us breath, and because we are included in the household of God. Like Paul, we are included; unworthy, yes, but included nonetheless through the love and grace of Christ our Savior. Thus, for me, the Lord’s Supper is a time to remember and thank God for including me in his love, grace, and mercy. Remembering My Dedication When I come to the table I remember that the long journey/struggle of life began for me with the Baptist tradition of dedicating infants to God. At the close of service on a Sunday morning in 1939, my mother walked down the aisle of the First Baptist Church in Baltimore with me in her arms. She stood with my grandparents, other family members, and the pastor, looking out at the congregation in front of a massive communion table on which the words “This Do In Remembrance Of Me” had been carved in great gothic letters. Mom gave me to Christ in that simple service of dedication and vowed to raise me as a child of the King. My mother’s simple act of faith gave me the only insurance policy anyone ever needs, Jesus Christ. In all my fifty eight years, even when I left him, Jesus has never left me alone, ever! My childhood Sunday school teacher, Miss Marjorie, taught us to sing “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...” It took me a long time to discover that Jesus does love all the children of the world— even his lesbian and gay children. Taking a Winding Road My road to discovering the fullness of God’s love was a long and winding one with many dead ends and detours. At age twelve I accepted Christ as my Savior and was baptized. To be honest, looking back, I doubt that I understood the implications of my decision for Christ. I knew in my early teens that there was something different about me. That led to the first of many tests of my relationship with Christ. A four-year tour of duty in the Navy that began shortly after graduation from high school provided an opportunity for me to visit many different Christian churches across the country. Most of these churches adamantly taught that being gay and a Christian was not possible. They also guaranteed that all gays and lesbians would surely spend eternity with Satan. Did Jesus still love me? How could he? I was queer. I drifted away and didn’t come back to the table for nearly twenty years. Yet God had a marvelous plan designed for me. To help us over the rough spots, God sends “ambassadors” into our lives just when we need them. During my many years of searching, the love of Jesus shone brightly in the face of a dear friend whose actions exemplified the Christ that lived in his heart. The prayers of so many loved ones, including my family and numerous surrogate moms, helped me. Then, on New Year’s Day 1984, I attended service at Love Center Church in Oakland, California. God opened a door, welcoming me back to his table, and I walked through. Pastor Walter Hawkins and the Love Center family welcomed me with open arms. Ever heard the expression, “I loved him for years but he never knew I was alive”? Christ could have accurately made that statement about me until Love Center saved my life. Coming to the Table Today I come to the table now at the San Leandro Community Church. No one is excluded from our communion table. We welcome all who claim Jesus as Lord and Savior to kneel with us at his table. In John 13:34-35, Jesus says: “I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other as I have loved you. All people will know that you are my followers if you love each other” (New Century Version). When we come to the table at San Leandro, we break a piece of bread and dip it in the cup for those we want to include in the blessing of communion. Let’s all break bread for those who don’t get the acceptance part yet. Let’s pray that acceptance will break out in every denomination, in every persuasion, and in every nation. ▼ Skip Jones is a member of San Leandro Community Church of San Leandro, California, one of the Welcoming & Affirming Baptist churches disfellowshipped by the American Baptist Churches of the West (though not by the national denomination). He considers himself a “Pentecostal Baptist.” 16 Open Hands Share a Mexican Folk Story Each Christmas for the children’s time in worship, I use The Legend of the Poinsettia retold and illustrated by Tomie dePaola (New York: Scholastic, 1994). This Mexican folk story tells of the creation of the beautiful red poinsettia out of a weed when a young girl gives a fistful of the weed to the Christ Child. This story highlights Hispanic culture, uses some Spanish words, and acquaints Anglo children and adults with a beautiful Mexican folk story. —Mary Pope A Reconciling Meal By Mary Pope As a young person raised on the 4-H motto “To Make the Best Better,” I am aware that Trinity United Methodist Church is always in the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation—even five years after we officially declared ourselves one. Still, each Christmas Eve we enjoy a truly reconciling moment within our church building. Last year, a participating pastor commented that the evening was either the feeding of the five thousand or the messianic banquet. Perhaps it is a taste of both! Three churches share space in our building: Trinity, Church of the Holy Spirit MCC, and La Methodista Hispana. All three combine forces on Christmas Eve to host a potluck meal for all who wish to come. The Catholic Worker House, two blocks away, joins us for dinner and worship since they have limited space and plenty of food to share. Each year, a few days before Christmas, brightly colored invitations in both Spanish and English are distributed in a four-block radius around the church. Persons who regularly eat their weekday evening meal at Trinity are also invited specifically. We even have enough faith in the loaves and fishes concept to place an announcement in the religion section of the daily newspaper! A caterer in Trinity’s congregation makes extra mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing and other side dishes. The congregations supply four turkeys that are also cooked by the caterer. Two hundred plus persons eat Christmas Eve dinner together each year. Young and old, HIV positive and negative, rich and poor, persons with many shades of skin color, and persons with various approaches to personal hygiene, all sit down to eat together. Over 100 persons stay after the meal for a bilingual (Spanish-English) eucharist service. Separate booklets of hymns from the public domain are printed in Spanish and in English so that all of us can sing in our preferred language. Members of all three congregations lead worship. While most who stay are members of one of the three congregations, some who stay have had no previous connection with any of us. The success of this annual Christmas Eve celebration should not surprise us. In the 1960s, Trinity members worked with the local Black Panthers to feed breakfast to hungry school children. Breakfast is still provided each school day in our building. When the local African American radio station needed a home, Trinity was ready to welcome it. When ANAWIM, a local group formed to provide decent housing for poor persons, needed space to start their program, Trinity supplied that space. When Church of the Holy Spirit MCC was considered too controversial to be housed in other church buildings, Trinity welcomed that congregation warmly. One of Trinity’s members recalls the “good old days” when the church was always full. (Our 78-member congregation had over 900 members in the 1950s.) He serves as greeter with a huge smile on his face. He is overjoyed that the church is crowded “like the old days” each Christmas. As I reflect on our Christmas Eve experience, I sometimes wonder why this particular experience seems different from all the other places in the city who serve Christmas meals to the poor. To me, the most outstanding difference is that all of us sit down to eat together. We who call ourselves “the church” do not stand behind a table and dish out food to “those other people.” Some of “those other people” help serve food and set up extra tables. Some of “us” who are very young or very old are served. Two men who are mentally challenged cheerfully clear tables and collect trays. Barriers are broken down. Sexual orientation and HIV status are non-issues as we all work together to provide hospitality to each other. Being a Reconciling Congregation means being constantly challenged to reach out in ever expanding circles to all of God’s people. Being a Reconciling Congregation means to continue “to make the best better.” ▼ Mary Pope is pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church, which is a mission of the Iowa Annual Conference and located in the inner city of Des Moines, Iowa. Fall 1997 17 The Eucharist Defines Who We Are by Jeffrey Pulling In a church as theologically and liturgically diverse as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, our weekly celebration of holy communion demonstrates— more clearly than anything else we do or say—who we are and what we believe. The more I share ecumenically, the more I realize how revolutionary it is for us in MCC to hold together in our eucharistic understanding the three ingredients of: (a) a personal, embodied sharing of the elements; (b) wide latitude in individual interpretation of this sacrament; and (c) an open invitation. First, as a “sacrament” (a visible, tangible means of encounter with God), communion really should be embodied, a physical way for us to get in touch with God and with who we are. Our MCC eucharistic practices of laying on of hands, holding, embracing, and personally praying or blessing are all embodied ways of sharing this spiritual nourishment with each other. Our embodied sharing of communion expresses how important our bodies are in sharing/communicating Good News with others. Our mouths, hands, and arms are embodied vehicles of God’s love. Because we can affirm our sexuality as a gift of God, we can affirm our bodies. Second, we give wide latitude as to how the sacrament of holy communion is to be individually understood/ interpreted, not insisting on one right way of understanding what is happening in this sacred meal. Initially this latitude allowed us to exist at all as an ecumenical church. Persons come to MCC with eucharistic understandings that range from transubstantiation to a symbolic, memorial meal (and everything in between). To share this sacrament together, we have had to allow for varied personal understandings. By not insisting on one right way of interpreting the eucharist, we have reaped the benefit of opening ourselves up to the richness of all the various Christian meanings of this sacrament, traditional and contemporary. Some churches see holy communion as an expression of their unity. Thus they place great importance on all participants in the meal being members of that faith community and holding the same beliefs about it. We in MCC, however, have developed an understanding of holy communion, unintentionally I think, that sees this sacrament not as an expression of the unity we already have, but rather as a way to unity. By sharing in this meal together, we bring all of our different views and journeys together and we experience the Spirit of Christ together. Third, we practice “open communion.” We extend an invitation for “all” to share in this sacred meal with us. Participants do not have to be members of MCC or of any church. Interpretations of “open communion” vary in local MCCs. In the church in which I grew up, communion was never served to children. As much as I wanted to share in this sacrament, I had to wait until I was confirmed at age thirteen. In this way I would be “old enough to understand what I was doing.” My response now to this is that no one at any age can possibly “understand” the mystery of this meal. It is not given to us to understand, but for our enjoyment and spiritual nourishment, and to reconnect us with God-in-Christ. Some churches stress the importance of “worthiness” in recipients, citing Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 11. However, Paul was addressing himself to the abuses of some of the Corinthian Christians who were greedy, miserly, and uncaring about the poor in their midst. To twist this into denying the sacred meal from those deemed “morally unworthy” is diabolical in my estimation. Can you imagine Jesus withholding from anyone what he has to offer? ▼ Jeffrey Pulling has been involved with the Metropolitan Community Churches for twenty-five years, serving on both coasts in various pastoral, educational, and administrative ministries. He is currently pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church in the Valley in North Hollywood, California. He represents the MCC on the Faith & Order Commission of the National Council of Churches of Christ, U.S.A. The MCC Way: Holy communion is embodied as individuals, couples—and sometimes a family-of-choice group—come forward. Photos: Pete Taylor 20 Open Hands Beginning with Theology, Not Lifestyle By Ronald Coughlin With these words, an openly gay member of The United Church of Canada engaged the debate over acceptance of gay and lesbian ministers within our denomination. It was 1988. Following four years of church-wide study and despite dire warnings of rending the church asunder, the church’s highest policysetting body, the General Council, declared: “All persons, regardless of their sexual orientation, who confess faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to him, are welcome to be or become full members of The United Church of Canada.” “All members of The United Church of Canada are eligible to be considered for ordered [ordained and diaconal] ministry.” “It is inappropriate to ask about the sexual orientation of those in the candidacy process or those in the call, appointment, or settlement process.” The acceptance of this statement within a larger document entitled Membership, Ministry and Human Sexuality was due to two trends within the United Church tradition. First, the United Church is deeply rooted in the social gospel, social justice traditions in Canada. Back in 1976, the United Church submitted a brief to the provincial government of Ontario and the federal government requesting that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation be prohibited in their human rights codes. It was a natural shift to think that if discrimination based on sexual orientation should be prohibited in secular society, it should also be prohibited within the church. Second, the United Church refused to engage in discussions about appropriate sexual behavior and issues of lifestyle, but focused instead on who can be a member of the church. By beginning with the theological issues of baptism and church membership, the General Council was able to take this very significant step. Debates within the church are not new. The early church was full of them, including who should be members. Was the new faith only for Jews? Could people who were considered unclean be baptized and become members? A strange little story in Acts 8:26-40 gives us some insight. The story is filled with mystery and magic. It tells of an angel ordering Philip around, sending him out to a wilderness road in the desert, Philip chasing down a chariot where he meets an exotic foreigner, a conversation and witnessing to Jesus, the sudden appearance of water in the middle of this desert, a baptism, and then suddenly flying through the skies and landing in another city. A tale about a flying disciple is an extraordinary event; so much so that, if we are not careful, we might miss the real point of this story. Two extraordinary things occur: Philip encounters an Ethiopian eunuch and shares the Good News of Jesus Christ; the foreigner is baptized. Hearing this story with modern ears may not allow us to understand the extraordinary nature of this tale. The early church had a strong belief that their message was only for Jews. Yet, though the Ethiopian was probably a Jew or a convert to Judaism, he was still not allowed to enter the synagogue or temple. The reasons? He was a eunuch— he had been sexually altered— and the laws of Deuteronomy clearly state that such a person was outside the faith community (Deut. 23:1). He was a foreigner. He was an important person in his local government, a man of power and authority. Most people of the early church hearing this story would consider this Ethiopian unclean, uninvited, unwelcome, and unapproachable. Yet Philip talks to him, converts him, and baptizes him. The Ethiopian experiences the wonder of welcome and inclusion in the community of faith and goes on his way rejoicing. Here is the first story of a welcoming congregation! We need to be reminded that we are called to share God’s grace and abundant love. It is not ours to give or withhold. We are called to act like Philip in reaching out to those who have been on the margins of our church. The United Church of Canada did not disintegrate over its decision of 1988. Since that time the church has ordained/commissioned six openly gay or lesbian ministers and placed them in their first pastoral charges. One of our conferences recently elected an openly lesbian minister as its president. The church has extended medical, dental, and survivor benefits to same-sex partners of all church employees. In 1990, the church established a fund to assist ministers “who are experiencing difficulties in maintaining employment in the church because of known or perceived sexual orientation.” There are still people within the church who are unhappy with the actions of 1988. However, by and large, The United Church of Canada continues to try to be a place of welcome and belonging. ▼ Ronald Coughlin, an ordained minister, is a national staff resource person for the ministry vocations and internship programs of The United Church of Canada. He volunteers as literature secretary for the Affirming Congregations Program. “Speak to me! I was baptized in the United Church. I belong to this church. Don’t leave me out!” Fall 1997 21 “To be restored to harmony, one must make amends not only to Creator God but to all that there is.” And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age.” —Matt 28:18-20 RSV I am an American Indian woman. I thank the Open Hands advisory committee person who thought that our American Indian native views on baptism and communion would have some significant things to offer in regards to the issues and concerns of gays and lesbians. As I read informative articles from the Winter 1997 issue of Open Hands (Sowing Seeds of Inclusion), I was reminded that there are folks who are inclusive of the Great Commission (above). And the Christian church, as I understand, is slowly attempting to be inclusive of diverse sexualities and multiculturalism. However, did the church need 500 years on this island to do so? American Indian people on this island have never been an irreligious people. We are tribal people consisting of various clans which create a community. Each clan has a specific duty such as peacekeepers, public criers, policing and discipline, firekeepers, warriors, sargent-at-arms, and so forth. Duties may vary among tribal nations. Each tribe has a story to tell of its origin— how all humans and all things came into being. Mainly, a spiritual source such as Earthmaker, the Great Mystery, Great Spirit, and Creator and others are given homage to, for our existence. Based on this concept, all clans function as a tribal unit, with each clan serving and performing its specific duty for the health and welfare of the people. All of these functions are spiritually based and therefore bring a communion between the Creator and the tribal people. We always must be attentive to the needs of the next person and all that there is (the elements, fowl, animals, plant life, and fish). Baptism is conceived as a means of communion between God, the Father, and God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, and self, and all that there is. Some of the tribal folk see baptism as the Way of giving a child into God’s keeping to the close of the age, thus receiving the gift of eternal life. The baptized one grows into adulthood through observation of other adults who set examples of appropriate behavior. Not to be overlooked is the baptizer. This person practices a lifestyle of good principles and moralities commanded by God and the Circle of Life. Within the Circle of Life, respect and integrity are two principles that are commanded by Creator God. One must be inclusive of all people as described in clan duties, coordinating one’s skills and talents for the health and welfare of the community. The reverse would be disharmony and brokenness. The noun to describe this concept in scriptural terms could be sin. My tribal language does not have a definite noun to describe sin. However, one can relate to disharmony and brokenness. To be restored to harmony, one must make amends not only to Creator God but to all that there is. Specific tribal religions practice various ways of receiving atonement or forgiveness. Several ways are through the Sweat Lodge, feasting, fasting, prayer, and the Christian rite of holy communion. These are means of purification. Receiving the power of the Spirit through water cleanses all impurities both physically and emotionally. This is similar to the gifts that are received through the bread and the wine, I believe. Although different elements are used, the results are inclusive of all things. Some natives are more Christianized than others and have put aside traditional practices. Such natives may view diverse sexuality as an endangerment to native society, perhaps through homophobic tendencies similar to our white counterparts. Yet, clanship is relatively prominent in native communities. Those who are of diverse sexualities were (and are) part of tribal societies, each with specific talents and duties contributing to the Circle of Life. Some were caretakers of the young and old, warriors, firekeepers, and other duties. All are important facets of a native community. Each tribal member is seen to be as honorable as the next person— and should be, since all things are perceived as being given by God, Creator, Great Spirit, Great Mystery of all sources. To be in harmony with our Creator God is far more honorable than to dishonor the Great Commission. ▼ Eleanor H. Johnson is a member of the Hochunk Nation, Wisconsin. A former Lutheran minister, she lives in Wittenberg. Native Memories By Eleanor H. Johnson 22 Open Hands What joy I have discovered in being called out by God to share, without any reservations, the canon, sacraments, and ordinances of the church with all. This ministry began with my work with HIV/ AIDS folks and has spread to the broader rainbow community. Sharing Grace Let me share three baptisms at which I officiated on the Saturday before Easter. Several months before, I had received a call from a long-time client of the Damien Center whose physical health was deteriorating. His sister, who was part of a very conservative church, loved her brother and wanted him baptized by immersion. Bob could not remember his baptism as a child and thought this would be wonderful preparation for a spiritual journey. He insisted on three things—he would not repent of his homosexuality— he wanted a minister who was gay to baptize him— and any church in which he was to be baptized would be told this in advance. The three of us talked and prayed. I suggested using a large hot tub or pool, but a church was what was really needed. The sister called many churches and got nowhere. I then suggested she try her own church, as they would know her sincerity. The minister said, “Yes, how about Holy Saturday? All the Easter decorations will be out. I’ll come over, warm the pool, and get you into rubber clothes.” Then he asked if he could do a short devotional! After the service I stopped at the home of Kent whom I had been visiting in and out of the hospital for five years. He clearly let me know he wanted no prayers, no spiritual talk. Yet he welcomed my presence as part of his healing and hope. His mother had renounced him when he announced he was gay. His two sisters from other conservative churches said he deserved what he got. His only family was one brother and his mate of eight years. I met his mate Bruce during the last four weeks when he was doing full-time home care of Kent with the help of friends and Damien Center volunteers. Bruce wished Kent would be baptized with him and have a holy union. In the last two weeks I visited almost daily. When I visited on that Saturday before Easter, I told them about the baptism I had been involved in. Kent said, “Gee, I wish I had been baptized. I am so unsure of what I face.” Bruce said, “What’s stopping you? I’d like to be baptized, too.” I responded, “You have a minister; now all you need is water.” Kent turned to Bruce and said, “Get the silver bowl and use the Perrier water and, Howard, can we also have a holy union?” The wildly inclusive love of God was in that room, waiting, preparing. What eternal joy the three of us found as the words of sacrament and ordinance were spoken that day. Kent journeyed on to God’s full life fortyeight hours later. On that sacrament day, God’s agenda had not yet ended. There was Bobbie at Parkview Manor, our extended care facility dedicated to HIV/AIDS people. Bobbie walked the halls with smiles, hugs, and a mostly forgetful mind as a result of dementia. Most times when he would see me he’d say, “Rev. Warren, I don’t remember my baptism and I think I am going to hell.” I would always respond, “Bobbie, get some water.” I then would baptize him in front of other folks who would help him remember at least for that week. That Easter Saturday, Bobbie wasn’t in the hall, but in bed, very ill. I sat by his bedside and prayed. In time his eyes opened. He looked at me and started to make his usual remarks. I just took water from his bedside and made the sign of the cross on his forehead. He said “Thanks, I won’t need it again.” He breathed his last earthly breath several hours later and the wind of the Holy Spirit swept him into God’s eternal arms. Sharing God’s Grace-Filled Gifts By Howard B. Warren, Jr. God’s Own: Kent and Bruce pose in 1990 at the Cincinnati Botanical Gardens. Faithful Friends: Dan, Tim, and Brian claimed connection with God despite the church’s rejection. Fall 1997 23 Offering Hope and Joy In my work I have found the Roman Catholic sacrament of anointing so wonderful in the last days or weeks of this life. Dan, Brian and Tim met twenty years ago in upstate Indiana and began a lifelong friendship and business. Dan and Tim exchanged vows and rings as a couple eighteen years ago in the presence of their best friend Brian. When Dan was told he had a lesion on the brain and only a few months to live, I began weekly home visits. They collected angels, in many art forms, not just physically, but spiritually. When I returned from a conference, I discovered that Dan was going in and out of coma. I took oil from the Holy Land to anoint him. I extended the basic ceremony so that as I made the sign of the cross on his forehead, the other two men anointed Dan with their own words on other parts of his body. I sat in that holy room for two hours and watched Tim and Brian gently talk with Dan about moving on, how his dad would greet him, how the house angels would follow him. I quietly asked, “How did you guys learn this?” They said, “When we met one another and realized we were gay, we knew we would not be fully accepted by the Roman Catholic Church, so we took what we had learned, internalized it, and grew with God.” On Gay Pride Day each year I make myself available to perform holy unions or marriages for anyone who wishes it. One Pride Day, Lisa and Dora watched several of these ceremonies. Shyly coming forward, they said they had been together for thirty-five years and never dreamed marriage could be a reality for them. Some friends got flowers; they already had rings. As I read the service of marriage (adapted from the Book of Common Worship so it is inclusive of same-sex couples), I noticed that Lisa and Dora were so touched by the service and the knowledge that it did apply to them, that one or the other of them always had tears in her eyes. They were surprised by Joy; what they thought was impossible simply happened. Partnering with God Some of you might ask, “Is what I do in accordance with my denomination? Have I gone too far?” My answer? The very practical Trinity has placed me here to use the grace-filled gifts of God. In these ten years of being out as a gay person with HIV/AIDS, I have worked with more than 800 HIV/AIDS persons who have made their journey into God’s eternal arms. I am convinced that God does not do disease. God can and does, through us, do healing and hope. We must help erase the false God inculcated by shame and guilt that the church has proclaimed loudly and/or silently to our people. We can be partners with God through our use of the sacraments and ordinances of the church. The canon of the Bible and the canon of the Book of Common Worship are simply not closed. The wildly extravagant, inclusive love of God prompts us to open them up at any time where they can be helpful in healing and hope. What great love those who are the left out, the others, find in the sacraments and ordinances of the church when they are invited to participate. ▼ Howard B. Warren, Jr., director of pastoral care at The Damien Center in Indianapolis, Indiana, has been an ordained Presbyterian pastor for thirty-seven years. In 1997 he chose early retirement. 24 Open Hands Gathering Chant No. 742 The New Century Hymnal (UCC) Call to Worship One: We gather in the presence of the Holy One, known by many names: I am who I am forgiving love unending mystery refuge for the lonely liberator of the oppressed lover of all peoples. All: As we gather remembering God’s many names, may we also remember that this is holy ground where each of us is called by name. One: This is holy ground. In the presence of these sisters and brothers we dare to speak of our pain and our hope. All: This is holy ground. We gather with a sense of reverence and awe, deeply grateful for love at the heart of the universe that will not let us go. One: This is holy ground. We are called to remember not only that we are loved but also that today is the acceptable time, now is the dawning of hope. Not tomorrow, not someday. Now. All: God needs us to be lovers and healers and doers of justice. Not tomorrow, not someday. Now. We gather in anticipation. Song: “Spirit of our Lover God” Tune: “Spirit of the Living God,” Daniel Iverson, 1926 Words: Melanie Morrison, 1997 Spirit of our lover God, source of ecstasy fill us with a joy that sheds all complacency Touch us, fill us, heal us, move us, Spirit of our lover God, source of ecstasy. Spirit of our dreamer God, fresh as morning dew, fill us with a wild, bold hope making all things new. Touch us, fill us, heal us, move us, Spirit of our dreamer God, fresh as morning dew. Spirit of the living Christ, passionate and free, bless this table with your love that seeks diversity. Touch us, fill us, heal us, move us, Spirit of the living Christ, passionate and free. Scripture Reading Mark 14:1-9 Bethany Tuesday: A Place at the Table By Melanie Morrison Sustaining the Spirit During Holy Week, Christians gather on Maundy Thursday to remember the Last Supper that Jesus shared with his disciples. Tradition has it that only the male apostles sat at table with Jesus that night. Mark’s gospel tells of another meal that Jesus shared with his friends and disciples two nights earlier in Bethany (Mark 14:1-9). This meal better represents the inclusive table community at the heart of Jesus’ ministry and is, therefore, worthy of our remembrance and celebration during Holy Week. The order of service that follows is a table ritual to be celebrated at the close of a meal that is shared together on “Bethany Tuesday.” Fall 1997 25 Reflection on the Readings We are gathered on this Tuesday evening during Holy Week to remember and celebrate the meal at Bethany because that meal, more than the all-male supper remembered in many churches on Maundy Thursday, represents the inclusive table community at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. The host in Bethany is a man considered by scriptural law unclean because he has leprosy. At least one woman is present who performs a prophetic and pastoral act of anointing. It is the kind of meal that angered those who so frequently said of Jesus: “Look, he eats with the disreputable, the deviant, and the despised.” Those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered have a very strong hunch about what really went on—behind the synoptic curtains—at meals such as the one in Bethany. We understand why people mistakenly accused Jesus of being a glutton and a drunkard after hearing the sounds emanating from those households. We know that such meals were not somber, tight-lipped gatherings where the guests ate stale old breads and dutifully stayed within the lines painted by orthodoxy and decorum. They were banquets made sumptuous by the love of those who were not meant to survive but did; the love of those who learned that unless they hold on to each other they might not get there. We can imagine the kinds of stories told at that table in Bethany; how the pain was palpable and the humor outrageous. We know, by experience, how pain and joy can coexist so close up against each other that they are almost indistinguishable, filling up and spilling over in a passion that often strikes the respectable as unseemly. As we remember the kind of table community that gathered around Jesus, let us give thanks and offer prayers to the One who loves us without end. Prayers of the People A Ritual of Anointing Spoken by worship leader In memory of the woman in Bethany who anointed Jesus, I invite you to anoint one another as a way of announcing the good news of God’s radically inclusive love. There are two bowls of water which we will pass in opposite directions. As you receive the bowl, dip your finger into it and trace on your neighbor’s cheeks a path of tears, saying: “Your tears are a blessing, salt of the earth.” Then dip your finger again in the water and touch your neighbor’s lips, saying: “Continue to speak the truth.” A third time, dip your finger in the water and trace a circle on your neighbor’s palm, a symbol of continuity, community, and divine love at the heart of the universe. As you trace that circle, say: “Sister/brother, carry on!” Song: “You are the Seed” No. 528 The New Century Hymnal (UCC) Benediction Permission Permission is granted to reprint this service for local worship events, provided this permission line is included. All other uses must have written permission of the author. Melanie Morrison is an ordained United Church of Christ minister who serves as co-director of Leaven, a non-profit organization in Lansing, Michigan. She is author of The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice. 26 Open Hands Words and music by Julian Rush Copyright 1997. Used with permission. Come to the Table from the Musical, “Caught in the Middle” by Jean Hodges Fall 1997 27 Overwhelming Consensus ✦Biggest and best ever! ✦Excellent speakers! ✦Exuberant singing! ✦Inspiring worship! ✦Good diversity of participants! ✦Atmosphere of love, grace, and acceptance! The Setting ✦Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia ✦A round table was the central symbol ✦Posters with names of 12,000 Reconciling United Methodists surrounded the gathering ✦Banners from RCs and campus ministries hung above the hospitality area FIFTH NATIONAL CONVOCATION OF RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS 500 United Methodists COME TO THE TABLE Other Highlights ✦Bishops Melvin Wheatley and Dale White honored at celebration, along with other “Denver 15” bishops, for prophetic witness at 1996 General Conference. ✦Covenant groups form heart of gathering, meeting daily for reflection and storytelling. ✦Two original dramas performed: Caught in the Middle and All in our Family. ✦150 persons participated in preconvocation forums for • clergy • parents of l/g/b persons • persons of color • youth/students/seminarians BIBLE STUDY: Leaders David Otto and Janet Wolf captivate participants with stories of rollicking humor and penetrating passion. WORSHIP: Spirit-filled worship framed and set the tone for the convocation weekend. KEYNOTE: Dr. Kelly Brown-Douglas draws upon Martin Luther King’s incarnational theology as basis for an “inherent Christian responsibility to protest injustice.” PERSONS OF COLOR: Persons of color gather prior to convocation and report concerns to closing plenary. YOUTH: Youth create tablecloth portraying their convocation experience. STRATEGY: Participants gather in daily area strategy sessions to plan ongoing RCP witness in different regions of the country. DANCE: Convocation rocks with Saturday night dance. HABITAT: Twenty RCP volunteers come to Atlanta early to spend day constructing two Habitat for humanity homes. Photos: Bruce Barnes This conference has given me the hope and strength to be the new Methodist church— the next generation. Praise God! Colorado layperson This convocation has been one of the most transforming experiences of my life. Kansas student I have received a vision of hope, the drive of a dream, and the empowerment to return home and extend the table to all God’s children. Pennsylvania pastor If we could only take back to our homes the conviction that this is not just a gay thing—it ’s a church thing! Texas seminarian One of the joys of this convocation is the opportunity to hear those voices God called but the church has quieted. North Carolina layperson 28 Open Hands Welcoming Communities More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Faith Covenant Church Houston, Texas “Faith Covenant” is the relatively new name for the congregation formerly known as “Seabrook—A Uniting Church.” It is affiliated with the United Church of Christ and the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Its pastor, the Rev. Dr. F.W. (Mike) Luedde, describes the congregation as folks who have matured in their faith and worked through their doubts. Becoming a More Light congregation is a public declaration of long-standing convictions within the congregation. First Presbyterian Church Waltham, Massachusetts First Presbyterian was founded by Nova Scotians who immigrated to Waltham just before the turn of the century. The congregation remained almost totally Euro-American in makeup until the last three years. It is now a lively mix of West Africans, Korean-Americans, Afro-Americans, Haitians, Puerto Ricans, and Euro-Americans. The membership is professional, blue-collar, and unemployed. The church’s mission statement includes the call “to reach out to our neighbors with the word of Christ to those who see it, and with care and support for those who need it.” Toward that end, the church of 40 members leads worship monthly at a nursing home, cooks for a soup kitchen, and gathers diapers and baby food for a food shelf. Ormewood Park Presbyterian Church Atlanta, Georgia Ormewood Park is a neighborhood church in an urban community in Atlanta. It makes its building available to a number of community groups and is often the center for neighborhood gatherings. The Rev. Sharon Taylor reports the congregation began a period of restoration in the early nineties which has led to a new openness to its neighborhood. Trinity Presbyterian Church New York City, New York Begun 125 years ago as a children’s mission, Trinity began an organized Presbyterian congregation in 1947. The membership of approximately 125 is divided equally among Asians, African-Americans, Caucasians, and Hispanics. The church has two homeless shelters, a feeding program, and a number of children’s programs. It has been served for the last 22 years by the Rev. Robert Helm. First Congregational Church UCC Eugene, Oregon Strengthened by worship and music that are inspiring and diverse, this 800-member congregation is strongly committed to mission in the area of homelessness and affordable housing. This fall it will complete the first of several Habitat for Humanity houses; “sheet rock parties” are moving things along! In keeping with its ONA commitment, the church provides meeting space for a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) congregation and a chapter of Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). South Congregational UCC Concord, New Hampshire The 600 members of this downtown congregation continue to build on a strong history of mission by hosting community organizations, engaging in outreach projects, and supporting the arts community. It has one of the largest youth programs in the city and sends senior high youth on an annual mission trip (in Spring 1998 they will do housing repair in West Virginia). Each year the church also holds a SERV “Hands Across the World” Bazaar to benefit that organization and other charities. Since becoming ONA, the church has had more gay and lesbian persons worshipping with and joining the congregation. An ongoing ONA Committee explores ways that the congregation can widen its welcome to the gay, lesbian, bisexual community as well as be open and affirming in the areas of mental health concerns and the handicap accessibility of a newly purchased, adjoining church building. College Avenue United Methodist Church Somerville, Massachusetts Located in a suburb of Boston adjoining the more prestigious Cambridge, College Avenue in the 1950s was a prominent church in the annual conference. The community has traditionally been home to many immigrants. Following a long period of decline, College Avenue has been in a renaissance the past few years. The congregation of 380 members is very active in the community, hosting a full-time homeless shelter, several 12-step programs, and a weekly dinner for persons with AIDS. Sunday morning worship includes a traditional worship service and a folk/rock service. The church’s RC decision was rooted in a retreat during the summer of 1996 which prepared an ambitious plan for congregational revitalization—a plan which has been over 90 percent completed. MORE LIGHT OPEN AND AFFIRMING RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Fall 1997 29 RECONCILED IN CHRIST El Cerrito United Methodist Church El Cerrito, California When El Cerrito UMC was founded in 1906, it was in a rural area east of San Francisco Bay. Now this congregation of 170 members serves a vast urban area. El Cerrito is known for its strong music ministry. Church programs have been expanding recently to respond to needs of families with children. Immediate goals of the congregation are to grow and reach out to the larger community. For five years, the congregation’s mission statement has included ministry with persons regardless of sexual orientation. Affirming that the presence of gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons has enriched the congregation’s life led to the official RC decision. First United Methodist Church Ellensburg, Washington Ellensburg is situated in an agricultural valley along the eastern slopes of the Cascade Mountains near the center of the state of Washington. A state university is located there, with a student population of approximately 6,000. First UMC has 264 members, about 100 of whom are active participants in the life of the church. Participants come from all walks of life and span all ages. The process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation involved a number of educational studies and forums, culminating in a survey of the congregation regarding a proposed reconciling statement. When 74 percent of those responding approved adoption of the statement, the administrative board voted approval in June 1997. Grace United Methodist Church Lake Mary, Florida Grace UMC is located fifteen miles north of Orlando. This 500-member congregation which is diverse in age, race, and culture, will celebrate its 10th anniversary in 1997. Grace is a mission-oriented church with programs including a day care center for preschoolers, an AIDS support group, youth mission trips, clothing for children in need, and a weekly feeding program. Members volunteer at a low-income nursing home and support an abuse center. The vote of the administrative council to become an RC, which followed a three-year discussion, was unanimous. Simpson United Methodist Church Cleveland, Ohio Located on the west side of Cleveland, this congregation of 125 members celebrated its 100th anniversary on October 5. Simpson’s members are a mixture of suburbanites who grew up in the neighborhood and neighborhood persons. The congregation is heavily involved in community ministry, housing a police auxiliary office, a senior citizens center, and several 12-step groups. The Simpson Neighbors organization works to improve housing in the area. The congregation is currently trying to begin a parish nurse ministry. First Lutheran Church Oakland, California First Lutheran Church is a small congregation located in the foothills of Oakland. Its primary task is concerned with the change in paradigms of our world and transforming our traditional Northern European Lutheran identity into one which reflects the growing diversity of our society. First Lutheran’s ministry includes music, volunteerism, participation in a faith-based community organization and serving people in need. The church’s decision to become a Reconciled in Christ congregation reflects both its practice and its theology. The congregation intends to carry out this commitment through supporting issues of inclusiveness and justice in the church. St. Thomas Lutheran Church Bloomington, Indiana Founded in 1960 and now approximately 475 members, St. Thomas became an RIC congregation in the fall of 1996, in response to a ministry of welcoming and affirming gay/lesbian/ bisexual people that has existed within the congregation and community for many years. St. Thomas sponsors a “GLB Lutherans and Friends” group (established in 1990 by the congregation’s committee on social ministry) that meets several times a year for dinner and fellowship. The pastors have spoken in public support of g/l/b rights on a number of occasions. The church offers education to its members on g/l/b and AIDS issues. Abundant energy within the congregation is directed toward issues such as support of children’s education, youth activities, social ministry, international concerns, and local interfaith activities. 30 Open Hands On Baptism and Communion Alexander, Marilyn Bennett and James Preston. We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1996. In-depth look at justice implications of mainline baptismal theology interspersed with stories from the lives of lesbian and gay Christians. Brock, Rita Nakashima, Claudia Camp, and Serene Jones. Setting the Table: Women in Theological Conversation. St. Louis: Chalice, 1995. Essays provide a dynamic look at the emerging consciousness of feminist theology. See especially ch. 13 on “Setting the Table: Meanings of Communion.” Brown, Lester B., ed. Two Spirit People: American Indian Lesbian Women and Gay Men. Binghamton, NY: Harrington Park, 1997. See especially the preface, “Sharing the Gift of Sacred Being” by Duane Champagne. This book also offers an interesting description of how traditional American Indian culture posits not two genders, but six gender styles. Caldwell, Elizabeth Francis. Come Unto Me: Rethinking the Sacraments for Children. Cleveland: United Church Press, 1996. Explores the roles of baptism and communion in the growing faith of children. Provides models for intentional liturgical and educational transformation. Discussion questions. Davies, Horton. Bread of Life & Cup of Joy: Newer Ecumenical Perspectives on the Eucharist. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1993. Explores eucharist as memorial, thanksgiving, sacrifice, eschatological banquet, communion, mystery, and as liberation and justice. Doran, Carol and Thomas H. Troeger. Trouble at the Table: Gathering the Tribes for Worship. Nashville: Abingdon, 1992. These authors lift up worship as a public event which must be continuously renewed and revitalized. They explore and develop techniques for handling resistance to change in worship. Duck, Ruth C. Gender and the Name of God: The Trinitarian Baptismal Formula. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1991. Duck explores how God is named in worship, especially in the baptismal formula and how language shapes us. She suggests ways of shaping liturgical language so that it is not gender biased. Felton, Gayle Carlton. This Gift of Water: The Practice and Theology of Baptism Among Methodists in America. Nashville: Abingdon, 1992. Tracing the development of baptismal theology and practice in Methodism, Felton seeks to enrich our contemporary celebration of baptism as a sign of God’s grace. Jeter, Joseph R. Jr. Re/Membering: Meditations and Sermons for the Table of Jesus Christ. St. Louis: Chalice, 1996. One hundred forty-one meditations on the eucharist. Full of images, quotes, and stories. Divided into sections: biblical, historical, literary, seasonal, contemporary, personal, and valedictory. Procter-Smith, Marjorie. In Her Own Rite: Constructing Feminist Liturgical Tradition. Nashville: Abingdon, 1990. Foundational and constructive in approach, this book addresses the benefits of and necessity for dialogue between the liturgical and feminist movements. See especially ch. 6 on “We Must Learn Our Common Symbols: Baptism and Eucharist.” Smith, Harmon L. Where Two or three Are Gathered: Liturgy and the Moral Life. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Writing for a broadly ecumenical audience, Smith explores the interconnections between how we worship and how we behave. Liturgy itself is deeply moral and has profound implications for how we think about social issues. Tirabassi, Maren C. and Kathy Wonson Eddy. Gifts of Many Cultures: Worship Resources for the Global Community. Cleveland: United Church Press, 1995. Marvelous collection of original global liturgical materials which can enrich our crosscultural awareness and appreciation. See especially pp. 98, 110-111 on baptism and ch. 16 on communion. Watkins, Keith. The Great Thanksgiving: The Eucharistic Norm of Christian Worship. St. Louis: Chalice, 1995. Explores the principles of a worship that is “table-centered” rather than “pulpit-centered.” See also chapters 9-10 on baptism. Whitcomb, Holly W. Feasting with God: Adventures in Table Spirituality. Cleveland: United Church Press, 1996. Taking various themes like wisdom or creativity as points of departure, this book offers sixteen feasts which explore creative and spiritual ways of enjoying food. Rituals, recipes, more. White, James F. The Sacraments as God’s Self-Giving. Nashville: Abingdon, 1983. A basic primer for examining the sacraments of baptism and communion. Selected Resources ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. ❑ Please send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____ Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Fall 1997 31 Movement News Reconciling Lutheran Youth Make Stand The triennial ELCA Youth Gathering, held in New Orleans in July, brought together 37,000 Lutheran youth and leaders from across the U.S. At an evening worship service held in the Superdome, with all 37,000 people present, a courageous young man named Steve Rohr gave the evening message. Steve is a member of St. Francis Lutheran Church in San Francisco, a Reconciled in Christ congregation which was expelled from the ELCA for ordaining non-celibate gay clergy. Steve’s talk had the youth hanging on every word. He spoke directly to gay and lesbian youth and told them they should never be ashamed of who they are. Sharing his vision of an inclusive, welcoming community of faith, Steve said the church’s message to gay and lesbian youth should be “Come in and come out”—one of the most memorable lines heard in Lutheran circles in years. His talk was surprising to many clergy and advisors, but the youth gave him a long-standing ovation. An even more historic event occurred the next day at Lutheran Youth Organization convention. This official youth group of the ELCA meets every three years to plan for the future. Two hundred duly elected voting members—among the brightest and best youth of the ELCA—represented every synod. By an astounding margin of 81.1 percent, they passed a resolution calling for three historic steps: 1. The LYO and appropriate ELCA divisions investigate the possibility of developing a pre-gathering conference (in the year 2000) for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth...to provide a safe space for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth and...programming on personal and faith issues. 2. The 2000 Gathering Advisory Committee (planning the next ELCA Youth Gathering) be strongly encouraged to incorporate programming for the whole gathering which addresses the personal and faith issues affecting gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth. 3. At least one Lutheran gay, lesbian, or bisexual youth be on the planning committee for this event. The discussion on this resolution was astounding. Several youth spoke of their congregation as being RIC. One young man came out as being gay, a young woman as being bisexual, and another woman as having a gay father. It became clear that the youth know they are ahead of the church at large and are energized by this. They reject the notion that this is too controversial and feel called to help move the church forward. A wind of change! A few weeks later the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America met in Philadelphia for its biennial churchwide assembly. In discussion about changing the Visions and Expectations document, which governs ordination practices, a seed of change was planted. Although the assembly voted not to change the document at this time, the discussion gave a chance for the youth to speak. One delegate who had been at the ELCA Youth Gathering told of the actions described above. He told all 1,045 voting members that the youth are challenging the church to move forward. A turning point in the struggle? It is not just gay and lesbian people who are seeking change but the rising leaders of the ELCA who want the church to be welcoming to people of all sexual orientations. Nebraska Holy Union May Test UM Law Jimmy Creech, pastor of First United Methodist Church in Omaha, received widespread media coverage in September for celebrating a service of blessing for a lesbian couple in his congregation. News of the service was leaked to local press in advance. In response to press inquiries, Creech stated: “I accepted the invitation [from the two women] with a deep sense of admiration for their devotion to one another, their integrity and their strong faith.... It was an appropriate response for me to make as a pastor, even though I understood that to do so would be in conflict with the official position of The United Methodist Church.” The 1996 General Conference of The United Methodist Church adopted a first-ever policy statement on same-gender unions: “Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall not be conducted in our churches.” This sentence was placed in the Social Principles rather than in the body of church law which raises questions of whether this policy is legally binding or “instructive and persuasive” (as the Social Principles are introduced). The denomination’s Judicial Council has never ruled on whether or not the Social Principles are legally binding. Several complaints against Creech have been filed with his bishop, Joel Martinez. These complaints begin a review process that may or may not lead to formal charges and a trial. A trial would allow the possibility of appeal to the Judicial Council on whether the statement about same-gender unions, along with the rest of the Social Principles, are legally binding. A coalition of United Methodist activists who support the right of clergy to celebrate same-gender unions has formed the Covenant Relationships Network (CORNET). CORNET emerged in July at the RCP convocation under the auspices of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Concerns. For more information on CORNET, see its web page: www.umaffirm.org/cornnews/ or contact Jeanne Knepper at 503/760-4215. Open and Affirming UK? No, not yet...lots of lesbian and gay clergy in the United Kingdom (UK)...very few out. However, a recent survey of United Reformed congregations revealed that 48 out of a response of 590 were prepared to call a minister who is in a single-sex partnership. No comparable figures are available for other denominations in the UK (England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland). The ecumenical Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement (LGCM) of the UK gets a steady trickle of inquiries from people 32 Open Hands Call for Articles for Summer 1998 Bisexuality This issue will focus on helping readers grasp the complexity and diversity of sexual orientation, sexual practice, and sexual identity, with a particular focus on bisexuality. Seeking analytical, theoretical articles, poetry; also personal stories by bisexual persons and transgendered persons who are dealing with orientation concerns. Write with idea: January 1 Manuscript deadline: May 1 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 wanting to know where they would be welcome at worship, and a smaller trickle from congregations wanting to know how they can become (and be listed as) open. Because no one denomination seems ready to begin a program in the UK, LGCM has decided to take the initiative to introduce the welcoming church program idea across denominations. LGCM will put together a discussion packet and maintain a list of various welcoming places (ONA, RCP, etc.) as they develop. Janet Webber, a retired United Reformed Church minister and a lesbian, recently visited the U.S. to learn more about U.S. ecumenical welcoming programs. She attended the annual welcoming program leaders and Open Hands advisory committee meeting in late September in Chicago, and visited churches on the east coast. Webber expressed her thanks for “letting me in on the U.S. scene and sharing material and ideas with me over a fortnight...” She returned to the UK to “try to get things in motion— first step to call together representatives of inquiring congregations to form a base group.” Welcoming Program Leaders and Open Hands Advisory Committee Meet Program leaders and Open Hands advisory committee members from eight denominational welcoming programs met jointly for their fifth annual session in Chicago on 26-27 September. Those participating represented the Affirming (United Church of Canada), More Light (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ and Disciples of Christ), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Reconciling (United Methodist), Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) programs. The group also welcomed Janet Webber (see article above). The program leaders heard updates on the successes and struggles of each program, celebrated the existence of over 700 welcoming congregations, campus ministries, judicatories, and other groups. (Complete roster is printed in each winter issue of Open Hands). The program leaders also affirmed our collective efforts— and the major contribution of Mary Jo Osterman—to publish the ecumenical Bible study, Claiming the Promise, last winter. Based on the success of that project, the group is stepping up efforts to publish an ecumenical welcoming worship resource. The group discussed ways to utilize the services of Marty Hansen, who is funded for the next year to provide fundraising and media support for the ecumenical movement. The leaders group moved forward on plans to host a mass ecumenical gathering of welcoming churches in August 2000. The leaders group encouraged three programs who are not yet formally participating in the cooperative publication of Open Hands to officially join this cooperative effort. All expressed interest. Finally, the program leaders set 25 January 1998 as the annual Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday. The Open Hands advisory committee met jointly with welcoming program leaders to evaluate the past four issues of the magazine, set upcoming themes (see below), and approve some changes in the magazine’s format (which will appear in the Spring 1998 issue). The advisory committee then met alone to refine both the themes and the new changes. Upcoming Open Hands Themes Winter 1998 We’re Welcoming! Now What? Spring 1998 Sexual Ethics Summer 1998 Bisexuality Fall 1998 A House Divided Winter 1999 But We Welcome Everyone! Why Bother? Spring 1999 First We Listen! Voices Around the Globe Summer 1999 Creative Chaos and the Movement UpComing Gatherings 6-8 November 1998 Fifth North American Lutheran Conference on AIDS, Secaucus, NJ. Intended for clergy, seminarians, Christian education staff, lay ministers, social ministry organization staff, people living with HIV, and others. Contact: Loretta Horton, 1-800-638-3522, x 2404. Winter/Spring 1998 RCP Leadership Training Seminars. For Reconciling Congregation Program activists. Contact: James Preston, 773- 736-5526; james@rcp.org. 23-25 January Nashville, TN 30 January-1 February Dallas/Fort Worth, TX 27 February-1 March Los Angeles, CA 13-15 March Washington, DC 20-22 March Denver, CO 20-22 March 1998 “Connecting Families” Conference, Laurelville Mennonite Church Center near Pittsburgh, PA. Contact: Brethren/ Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, 612- 722-6906 or BMCouncil@aol.com. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 13 No 2 - From One Womb, At One Table: The Rites of Baptism and Communion https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ec81450c819bc5e6bad3355d8ca48b99.pdf 6cd03545afa62ea154ceabc39948137c Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 13 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1998 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 13 No. 3 Winter 1998 2 Open Hands Vol. 13 No. 3 Winter 1998 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciling in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1998 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 Printed on recycled paper. WE’RE WELCOMING—NOW WHAT? Bridging Word and Deed A WORD FROM OUR PUBLISHER A Time of Transition 4 MARK BOWMAN Bidding farewell to editor Mary Jo Osterman and welcoming interim editor Chris Glaser. BRIDGE-BUILDING VISIONS Bridges Over Troubled Water 5 CHRIS GLASER Welcoming congregations as bridges over troubled waters of doubt, fear, and schism. Border Crossing 6 MARK ELAM ANDERSON A poet’s vision of building bridges for the marginalized and privileged alike. Incarnating Good News 8 MIRIAM PRICHARD Beyond opening our doors to opening our hearts. What If We Become a Gay Church? 11 LISA ANN PIERCE Isaiah’s vision of transformation for those who wonder, “How can we be inclusive and keep our identity?” How Long? 12 ALYSON HUNTLY Why do we still sit silently when gays and lesbians are demeaned from the pulpit? Call for Articles for Open Hands Fall 1998 — A House Divided Theme Section: The fall issue will serve as an internal dialogue within the welcoming movement on how we understand Christian unity: What are acceptable differences of opinion within the church and what is adequate cause for separation? And what are the necessary boundaries of belief and behavior that define our community of faith? Tools Section: We are also requesting articles describing practical experience and suggestions in the following areas: Welcoming Committees, Connections (with other justice concerns), Worship, Outreach, Leadership, Youth, Campus, Children. These brief articles may or may not have to do with the theme of a given issue. Contact with idea by May 1 Manuscript deadline: July 15 Chris Glaser, 404/622-4222 or ChrsGlaser@aol.com Winter 1998 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Interim Editor Chris Glaser Designer In Print—Jan Graves Illustrations Ophelia Chambliss Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Margarita Suaréz, ONA Stuart Wright, RIC RCP BRIDGE-BUILDING TOOLS Welcoming Committees Why Be Specific In Our Welcome? 14 PAT TYMCHYSHYN A congregation questions specifically welcoming gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons. Connections Whose Church Is It, Anyway? 15 SUSAN LAURIE A firsthand account of our place among the Lazaruses at the gate of our national church councils. Worship Only Say the Word… 16 BOBBI WELLS HARGLEROAD What a difference it makes to be specific in our worship! Outreach Avoiding “Been There/Done That” 16 DIANA ROGER A congregation takes specific steps to go beyond mere welcome and grows. Leadership Six Handy Guidelines for Dialogue on “The Issue” 18 ALLEN FLUENT Helpful hints for church leaders coping with controversy over inclusiveness. Youth How “Welcoming” Are Youth Groups? 19 TREY HALL Results from a survey of youth groups of Reconciling Congregations that may help shape your youth program. Campus “Now I Know God Loves Me” 20 DAPHNE BURT A campus pastor tells the story of evangelism with a lesbian who doubted God’s love. Children Keeping Secrets—A Children’s Story 21 LIZ LANG Sometimes we keep a secret to surprise someone, but sometimes we keep a secret because we are afraid. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Everyone is Welcome Here 22 DAVID GOLDEN A new hymn celebrating the reconciling ministry of First United Methodist Church of Corvallis, Oregon. Movement News and Gatherings .......... 24 Profiles of Welcoming Communities ..... 25 Selected Resources .................................. 26 Annual Welcoming List ........................... 27 Next Issue: SEXUAL ETHICS 4 Open Hands Open Hands begins the transition to a new editor with this issue. Mary Jo Osterman resigned a editor in December. Mary Jo provided strong leadership and guidance for this magazine during her five years as editor. She led Open Hands through many changes while maintaining a high level of professional publishing standards. I know that you as readers of Open Hands are appreciative of Mary Jo’s work and wish her the best in her new endeavors. Chris Glaser has assumed the editorship of Open Hands on an interim basis. Chris is known to many of you as a longtime activist in Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns and as a prominent author and speaker on lesbian, gay, and bisexual concerns in the church. His writings have been included in this magazine, and he has published four books, including Uncommon Calling and Coming Out to God. Chris brings to the job a diverse background in youth, campus, and parish ministries. He has both written and edited church curricula for youth on issues ranging from racism to worship. For three years he served as volunteer editor of More Light (the newsletter of PLGC) and continues as a contributing editor and columnist. For a decade he directed the Lazarus Project, the first ministry of reconciliation between the church and the gay and lesbian community funded by a mainstream denomination. He earlier served on the Presbyterian Task Force to Study Homosexuality while completing his Master of Divinity degree at Yale Divinity School in 1977. We are blessed to have someone of Chris’s background and expertise willing to step in as editor for the next several months. During this time, the Reconciling Congregation Program, in consultation with leaders of More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcome & Affirming programs, will search for a permanent editor. During this transition, Open Hands will continue its mission of providing a diversity of resources, analyses, and stories on concerns facing welcoming churches. Your feedback and suggestions are always welcomed. Mark Bowman Publisher A Time of Transition Winter 1998 5 We’re welcoming— now what? Any congregation or ministry that has wanted to put its ministry where its mouth is has asked that question. This issue of Open Hands offers some thoughtful responses. The metaphor selected to help us visualize our response is that of a bridge: bridge-building visions (section one) and bridge-building tools (section two). At first I resisted this image. I couldn’t think of a bridge in the Bible, and my exhaustive concordance and biblical thesaurus do not list the word. Clearly the apocryphal poem (“Border Crossing” by Mark Elam Anderson) that leads off our articles provides the basis for this choice: Now comes building: a bridge to the desert, that others might cross; a bridge to the delta, that even the slave masters might cross… I considered other images of building that would fit our context as people of The Way. The building of the tabernacle, the portable residence of God in the wilderness. The building of the temple in Jerusalem, too holy to be built by the warrior king, David. The temple of Christ’s body and the temple of our bodies. The church as the body of Christ and the temple of living stones. The building of the church among strangers at Pentecost. The Reformation, or reconstruction, of that church. But the more I thought of bridges, the more I appreciated the selection of the image to suggest what we are about in the welcoming congregations movement. A bridge offers both a refuge and a way, both safety and direction. Bridge builders help others get to the other side by careful engineering and sturdy construction, while risking getting wet, sinking, drowning, or being swept away. And bridges exemplify God’s grace, being crossed by the just and the unjust. Congregations that welcome lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered souls serve as bridges over troubled waters. Troubled waters of doubts of our belovedness. Troubled waters of fear, ignorance, and bigotry. Even troubled waters of schism. Congregations working on being inclusive, not just of sexual minorities but of all the marginalized, serve as bridges to the church’s future. We assure the broader church that inclusiveness can be achieved while preserving “The Church’s One Foundation.” And we provide a way for all to cross to the other shore, the Land of Promise. This publication has been a bridge between churches and for the church. I am grateful to be a part of Open Hands as interim editor, a bridge between past and future issues. I give thanks to God for Mary Jo Osterman’s meticulous planning and building, making the crossing easier and possible, and including the construction of a new section on practical ministry (section two). I also give thanks to God for the initiative of the Reconciling Congregation Program in beginning this journal, the subsequent support of its ecumenical partners, and you, the reader, for making this and the movement to which it gives voice a priority of your concern and compassion. Chris Glaser Atlanta, Georgia Bridges Over Troubled Water Bridge-Building Visions 6 Open Hands No wonder the children grumbled. Arid desolation, no visible life bigger than a bug. Hateful sirocco1 winds, scouring dust flaying the skin right off the body. Waterless wastes, salt flats shimmering all the way to the margins of hope. Pharaoh’s army got drowned, but from the hot heart of the howling gale the clatter of dry bones rattles out their undead hatred, filling our ears with the powdery parchment of hypocrisy: Our pilgrim people are individuals of sacred worth who are unfit to proclaim the word of God, whose soulmates are incompatible with our law and forbidden the permanence of covenant, lest an errant shepherd forfeit credentials. No wonder the children grumbled, craving the cozy, closeted comforts of slavery. Grumble we may, but our dry eyes once beheld the bush that burned and was not consumed. Our dusty ears once heard a different voice, a voice that spoke not hatred but hope, a voice that echoes still in the parched recess of our disappointed hearts: Oh my people Oh my children Come back to me Come home to me and I will give you rest. The voice of the sirocco can go on howling its hatred, muttering its hypocrisy, singeing our faces with its scorn; it can rail and flail all it likes, but it will never turn us back: For God has already planted the seeds of Sabbath within us, has already revealed the healing, reconciling work of creation. We have experienced hearts and lives transformed, not to denial, but to affirmation. We have witnessed miracles, and no hot vain wind can rob us of our memories. In the shadow of a blazing bush burned into the back of our eyes, in the flakes of manna and the droplets of rockwater still clinging to our lips, in the echo of archangels’ call still resonating in our ears, in the faces and lives of those men and women of all orientations who have incarnated the reality of the Creator to us, we have glimpsed, touched, and tasted Canaan’s fair and happy land. For all its seductive security, the cozy slave pit of the closet cannot compare to the wide open spaces that lie ahead beyond the salt flat beyond the mountains across the river in the land of God’s Sabbath. Listen now! The voices of chaos diminish before the murmured songs of archangels and the swelling cresting word crashing against the mountains, washing over the wilderness: Oh my people Oh my children come back to me come home to me and I will give you rest. Border Crossing Mark Elam Anderson Source This poem was first printed in Shalom to You, (July 1996), newsletter of Shalom Ministries, a United Methodist ministry of empowerment, education, and justice in Portland, Oregon. It was written in celebration of the ordination of Jeanne Knepper, Shalom’s director. Copyright ©1996 by Mark Elam Anderson. Adapted for ecumenical audiences and used with permission. Notes 1A sirocco wind is a hot, steady, oppressive wind blowing from the Libyan deserts across the Mediterranean into Southern Europe, often bringing dust and sometimes accompanied by rain.; also any hot, oppressive wind, esp. one blowing toward a center of low barometric pressure. (Webster’s New World College Dictionary, Rev. & Upd.) Winter 1998 7 How can we surrender now? How can we do anything but answer? Yes, a voice from the heights crying across the wilderness, nourishing and authoritative all at once; Yes, oh yes, we come! Blistered, exhausted, parched and ravenous, we come! Look up there! Is it a mirage, shimmering on the horizon? Is it a cruel illusion, some trick of the sun and the heat and the wind, a promise of compassion masking a hot blast of intolerance? No, it’s really there! Bluer than sky, flowing, not shimmering, rushing along its course, desolation’s margin, ere the cool green promises come to fulfillment: A river. The river. How shall we cross? Tentatively, one cautious step at a time, testing river bed for firmness, fearful of stubbing our toes on river rocks, of stumbling and drenching our garments? Or shall we plunge in, gasping at the bracing frigidity of the torrent, laughing, tripping, plunging, washing all the dusty pain and disappointment and weariness of this exodus downstream, down toward the delta, down where it belongs. We trip, we fall, our heads submerge, our nostrils and ears fill with water; sputtering, laughing, we break the surface, baptismally cleansed, dead to and resurrected from all the deaths that come before, resurrected to the life that opens before us, as we rise from the water, stagger toward the shore, happy and frightened at the same time: For once we are there, once we have become citizens of this promised land, once we have taken possession of this place God has given us, even though the journey has ended, the work has barely begun. Now comes building: a bridge to the desert, that others might cross; a bridge to the delta, that even the slave masters might cross;2 a bridge into the hearts of all who begrudge our claim to this land God has promised, not just to us, but to all who bear God’s image, even those who give voice to the sirocco; for this is to be the land of inclusion, of fulfillment, of peace with justice, of all the things that God intended for us when first we were quickened. Yes, God called us to a land of rest, but only at the completion of Creation, and Creation is far from complete. So before we rest, before we proclaim Sabbath, we build, and the voice once distant and mediated through burning bushes and archangels, now immanent and unmediated, sings within our hearts and bursts forth from our own lips: Oh my people Oh my children welcome back welcome home welcome to the land I give you the land of Sabbath the land of justice the land called Shalom. ▼ 2The delta here alludes to the rich and fertile soil along the Nile in Egypt, the land of the oppressors. The bridge to the desert alludes to crossing the Jordan to the Promised Land. Mark Elam Anderson, pastor of Amity and McCabe United Methodist Churches in Oregon, is former chair of Shalom Ministries, an outreach ministry of the Metropolitan District of the Oregon-Idaho Conference of the United Methodist Church, which serves lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, people living on the social or economic edge, people who have been alienated from religion, and churches who want to welcome any of these people. Mark is married to Amy Boyett, a software professional, with whom he shares three children, Sarah, Sean, and Drew. 8 Open Hands Christians tend to speak rather glibly of “the Good News,” but many would be hard-pressed to explain or describe its content. This casual use and a vague notion of its meaning tend to diminish the term’s significance. We need to study the content of God’s Good News to us before we speak of our response. Further, we must examine its relevance to our lives, its implications and guidelines for the way we live, and thus, the way we offer the Good News to others as individuals and as welcoming congregations. The quality of our response to any good news is determined by both our reception of its truth and our perception of its relevance to us. In order to elicit a truly visceral and involving response, the news must be removed from the realm of objective, intellectual detachment and brought into personal experience and the heart’s inner core. We must be gripped by the message; we must believe that we are individually and personally addressed. Otherwise we will relegate the news to a ho-hum response, distance ourselves from it, and proceed as if we hadn’t heard it. In the fifth chapter of his second letter to the Corinthians, the apostle Paul has given us one of the most compelling interpretations of the Good News as he speaks of God’s reconciling act in Christ. “If you want in one sentence a definition of what the Christian Church stands for in the world, 2 Corinthians 5 gives it to you…There is Christianity in a nutshell,”1 wrote H.C.N. Williams, former provost of England’s Coventry Cathedral, itself a symbol of reconciliation because of that congregation’s forgiving response to the Germans who destroyed it by firebombs during World War II. Paul writes, “In Christ, God was reconciling the world[’s people] to [God’s] self, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us” (2 Cor. 5:19). This is the Good News of the gospel. God was in Christ who came and changed everything. “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!” (2 Cor. 5:17). The old, sad, defeated, divisive, guiltridden order has gone and a totally new order has begun. Now that’s Good News! On the personal level, we see that through God’s initiative and reconciling work, God has enfolded us, covered us, and surrounded us with an unconditional and redemptive love. To know oneself as personally blest and singled out opens a mysterious floodgate of unabated gratitude, energy, and joy. To know oneself to be the object of an unmerited gift of grace and love is the epitome of ecstasy which becomes the impetus out of which we receivers become givers, bearers of the Good News to others. On the global level, the very nature of the message reveals that this news is not addressed to us in isolation. It is not an exclusive honor. On the contrary, receiving the gift joins us to all humankind because it simultaneously confers on us a responsibility. We who have received the gift are now commissioned as givers— such is the flow inherent in the gift. Our full realization of the Good News assures our response, becoming in us an incarnation of its reality and intention and joy for the world. Like a gushing stream, the Good News sweeps us into completeness, into one Body, one community composed of many members with Christ as the head. We speak easily these days of being a “member” of this or that society, group, or association. For the Christian, this term has its fullest and most organic expression in the church as the Body of Christ. Paul offered this moving and solemn concept of the church— not as a large human institution— but as the “continuing incarnation, so that Christ is no longer only with his people but within them, and his incarnation has appropriated them for its extension.”2 Christ came for the world; therefore, the church is for the world. Kenyon Wright wrote, “The church exists by mission as a fire exists by burning… Ministry in the world is not an optional extra. It is the very essence of the church.”3 To whom shall we go? To whom shall we direct our ministry? Churches have readily acknowledged the mandate to deliver the Good News to the broader world. Christians have gone out to the farthest reaches of the earth to preach the gospel to everyone. However, churches have not so easily recognized the call to do and to be the Good News to those within their own fellowships. We must be to one another within our own congregations and communions what we purport to be to the rest of the world. The person to whom we seek to show mercy or concern or openness and welcome need not be a person “outside the gates.” That person may sit alongside us in our pew! As W.O. Carver suggested, “Each church has its own opportunities and problems, which it meets not for itself simply, but for all the churches of every community and always on behalf of the entire Body of Christ. The behavior of each Christian community has significance for the whole of Christian— The old, sad, defeated, divisive, guilt-ridden order has gone and a totally new order has begun. Now that’s Good News! Incarnating Good News Miriam Prichard Winter 1998 9 ity…being linked, as we are, with Christ as our head.”4 There are no New Testament demarcations between those in the far-flung areas of the world and those within our own congregations. All are to be included in the ministry of reconciliation, and the way we serve one has an impact upon our service to all. What is the responsibility inherent, then, in claiming ourselves as a “welcoming” community? Such self-designation implies a commitment to a depth of hospitality far beyond the casual. How do we welcome the stranger? (For purposes of this discussion, the word stranger is used to mean “those who come.”) All are to be received as Christ. Catholic Worker cofounder Dorothy Day clarified: “Hospitality is to be given not for the sake of humanity; not because it might be Christ who stays with us, comes to us, takes up our time; not because these people remind us of Christ…but because they are Christ, asking us to find room for him exactly as he did that first Christmas.”5 This of course applies to all strangers, but in our context as reconciling congregations, it is incumbent upon us to single out a class of especially vulnerable strangers: gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people who seek membership and fellowship in our churches. Many of them are coming to us out of a cold more chilling than the worst weather winter can summon. Many are coming with a more depleting, gnawing hunger than absence of food engenders. Many are coming with their last spark of hope that here, finally, in this particular fellowship, they will find the warmth, nurture, and acceptance denied them in so many other places. Despite the challenges involved in leading a congregation to become welcoming, opening their doors is probably the easiest thing that welcoming congregations do. Much more is required beyond the initial smiles, handshakes, and assurances of seating. The enfolding love of Christ alerts every atom in my being that I am welcome and worthy, and yet, in many churches, our non-engagement with one another belies the experience that every member of Christ’s Body is welcome and worthy. To truly “bring them in” will require a special, deep, intentional, and steadfast commitment to hospitality and inclusion; otherwise, these strangers are left standing just inside the door or waiting on the fringes of congregational life. Just as a newborn child entering into its human family needs to be held, stroked, loved, crooned over, spoken with, acknowledged, seen, affirmed, and validated, so this entrant into the congregational family needs to be engaged and enfolded in a true relationship, not just tolerated. Spiritual growth-in-community is thwarted without true engagement, and reconciliation can be achieved neither in the abstract nor in detachment. As Dorothy Day explained, “We cannot love God unless we love each other, and to love we must know each other. We know God in the breaking of bread, and we know each other in the breaking of bread, and we are not alone anymore. Heaven is a banquet and life is a banquet, too, even with a crust, where there is companionship. We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and love comes with community.”6 However, engagement may be misunderstood. In an attempt to describe their ideal of Christian fellowship, many people use the metaphor of the family, as in “one-big-happy.” The idealized image fostered by this concept may present an unforeseen stumbling block to the achievement of true community, since, in many cases, it tends to engender a glossing over of differences. Consequently, the uneasy peace prevailing covers a tenuous facade which will not hold together in the long run. Quaker activist and spiritual writer Parker Palmer offers relevant words of wisdom in this regard: If the church is to serve as a school of the Spirit…It must find ways of extending hospitality to the stranger. I do not mean coffee hours designed to recruit new members to the church, for these are aimed at making the stranger “one of us.” The essence of hospitality… is that we let our difference, our mutual strangeness, be as they are, while still acknowledging the unity that lies beneath them.…Only as individual understandings of God’s will are compared, contrasted, and interwoven with each other can we begin to move toward the wholeness which God intends for us, the wholeness of the entire Body of Christ…When a community’s identity is rooted in the truth that we are all members of one another…that our deepest identity is in our commonality in God…then it can embrace the stranger with grace and ease.7 An aspect of our welcome too easily overlooked is our recognition of the gifts that the stranger brings. The stranger is also a messenger of reconciliation. In both the Benedictine monastic tradition and Celtic Christianity, one major feature of hospitality is the acknowledgment that the guest has gifts to offer. The giving is circular, proceeding from host to guest and then from guest to host. Hosts and guests have duel roles as givers and receivers. A worthy, reconciling response, then, is total, not doled out or carefully measured. There will be no subtle boundaries, no glass ceilings, no invisible walls beyond which the lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered person is disallowed. Rather, the response of welcome will be Just as a newborn child entering into its human family needs to be held, stroked, loved, crooned over, spoken with, acknowledged, seen, affirmed, and validated, so this entrant into the congregational family needs to be engaged and enfolded… 10 Open Hands Miriam Prichard, a member of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina, is married and the mother of two children. A native Mississippian, she came to North Carolina by way of Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, for a career with Baptist students in colleges, universities, and schools of nursing throughout the state. She recently retired from a second career as an English teacher in an alternative school for “disruptive and unruly” students, an occupation she found to be inspirational as well as challenging. Notes 1H.C.N. Williams, “Introduction to the Community of the Cross of Nails,” The Nature of Christian Community, Sanford Garner, editor, (Coventry, UK: Community of the Cross of Nails, Coventry Cathedral), p. 3. 2W.O. Carver, The Glory of God in the Christian Calling (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1949), pp. 43-44. 3Canon Kenyon E. Wright, “The Serving Community,” The Nature of Christian Community, op.cit., p. 34. 4Carver, op.cit., p. 152. 5Dorothy Day, Selected Writings, Peter Ellsberg, editor (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1992). 6Dorothy Day, The Long Loneliness: The Autobiography of Dorothy Day (San Francisco:Harper & Row, 1980). 7Parker Palmer, The Company of Strangers: Christians and the Renewal of America’s Public Life (New York: Crossroad, 1994): pp. 130, 160. 8Robert Frost, “Birches,” The Complete Poems of Robert Frost (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1967), p. 153. poured out, pressed down, and running over “up to the brim and even above the brim.”8 There will be no suggestion of ambiguity in such a response. Christ is our model of wholeheartedness, having given himself without stint. “For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed… was not ‘Yes and No’; but in him it is always ‘Yes.’ For in [Christ] every one of God’s promises is a ‘Yes’” (1 Cor. 1:19-20). Now we see that this is to be our response: a great, visceral, visible, incarnate “Yes.” A “Yes” with staying power. A “Yes” with depth beyond the open door. A “Yes” which says, “I behold the Christ in you: come in! Come bring your gifts and your blessings to this congregation. Join in this great circular sweep of Christian love: your gift to me, mine to you, all to each and each to all.” That is the quality of the “Yes” by which all will know the fullness of the joy of reconciliation, the joy of true membership in the whole Body of Christ, having no alienating walls between us, no more distancing, “all one Body we” as we demonstrate our own reconciliation and carry that message of Good News to the world. ▼ Winter 1998 11 You’ve probably heard the question, or perhaps asked it yourself. It’s a common concern among members of churches that welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people. “What if we become a gay church?” It’s often asked alongside statements like: “It’s not that I’m homophobic, I just want to make sure there are other families like mine.” Or, “My partner and I chose this church because we wanted to have straight friends. I’m glad they welcome us, but I don’t want this to become a totally gay church.” This question, “What if we become a gay church?” is a serious one. At issue is nothing less than that age-old dilemma: “How can we be inclusive and keep our identity?” There are no easy answers. The only assurance we have is the ancient covenant promise that God will deliver us. But perhaps that is enough. The Israelites faced the question of identity and inclusivity when they returned to their homeland of Palestine after the Babylonian exile. Isaiah offered God’s answer in a vision of “a house of prayer for all peoples” that included foreigners and eunuchs. The vision, found in the first eight verses of chapter 56 begins: Thus says [our God]: Maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come, and my deliverance be revealed. Isaiah 56:1 “What If We Become a Gay Church?” Lisa Ann Pierce Isaiah thus challenges and encourages a disenchanted people returning to their decimated, war-torn land. In the context of famine, poverty, and conflict, the prophet speaks a wildly optimistic word: deliverance is on the way. Yet the people must have been scandalized by what the prophet said about inclusivity, for it was a radical reinterpretation of the law. According to Torah, eunuchs and many foreigners were to be excluded from the assembly of God (Deut. 23:1, Lev. 21:17-20, Deut. 23:3-6). Yet Isaiah 56 presents a vision for deliverance with foreigners and eunuchs as central players in the salvation drama: To the eunuchs who keep my sabbaths… and hold fast my covenant… I will give them an everlasting name… And the foreigners who join themselves to [God]… these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar… Isaiah 56:4-7 Although the prophet’s proclamation stands in tension with Torah, this prophecy is set in the context of the larger salvation history of Israel: “Maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come and my deliverance be revealed.” The Hebrew word translated “deliverance” is the same word rendered “maintain justice and do what is right” earlier in the verse. There is a word-play here, showing the Israelites that by maintaining justice and doing what is right (which includes welcoming the gifts of the foreigner and eunuch), they are participating in God’s mighty act of deliverance. Thus continues their saving history, for God is building a new people— a new Israel—from exiles, eunuchs, and foreigners. They are a people of justice and righteousness, a people who live God’s vision for deliverance. Doing the right thing is deliverance, and deliverance is doing the right thing. What does Isaiah 56 have to do with the question, “What if we become a gay church?” The prophet offers us a vision that transcends our fearful questioning. It is a vision beyond issues of exclusion and inclusion. It is a vision of transformation. To be excluded is to be discarded by those who have the power to say who is in and who is out. To be included, however, is to be included on the terms of those same powerful people. Far beyond this power to exclude or include is the prophet’s vision of a God who already gathers the outcasts of Israel, and gathers others to them. Everyone enters on God’s terms and shares their gifts freely. Everyone is changed—indeed delivered—by God’s gathering action. And our deliverance is being part of God’s gathering action. To ask the question, “What if we become a gay church?” makes sense in a society where heterosexuality has been granted a position of power and privilege. The question represents the very reasonable anxiety that we sometimes feel when this social order is challenged. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and straight alike, we are accustomed to our churches being essentially heterosexual in character. We want to include folks and not lose our The prophet Isaiah offers us a vision that transcends our fearful questioning. It is a vision beyond issues of exclusion and inclusion. It is a vision of transformation. 12 Open Hands identity. We want to welcome and be welcomed, but we feel some anxiety at the prospect of the real transformation that can happen when God brings us together. God invites us to enjoy a radical vision that transcends our anxieties. God invites us to trust that deliverance will come when outcasts are gathered to outcasts, and everyone’s gifts are given freely. We are invited to risk coming together on God’s terms, trusting that our identity rests more on being God’s children than on maintaining heterosexual dominance in our church. And taking this risk together, we step into the possibility of God’s transformative power changing us into something entirely new: not a gay church, and not a church dominated by heterosexual culture, but a church transformed and delivered. Gathered together, and freely sharing our gifts, we live into God’s vision of a people delivered to a new creation. ▼ Lisa Ann Pierce currently ser ves as Interim Pastor of St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship, a General Conference Mennonite church in St. Paul, Minnesota. St. Paul Fellowship is a Publicly Affirming congregation of the Supportive Church Network of the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC). Lisa also edits Dialogue, a BMC publication. How Long? Alyson Huntly “How can we be inclusive and keep our identity?” One verse of the familiar hymn, “The Church’s One Foundation,” has had special resonance for many Presbyterians in the United States recently as they come to terms with an amendment to their church constitution approved last year (Amendment B) which bars gays and lesbians from ministry or elected office in their church. Though with a scornful wonder This world sees her oppressed By schisms rent asunder, By heresies distressed. Yet saints their watch are keeping: Their cry goes up: “How long?” And soon the night of weeping Shall be the morn of song. Words: Samuel J. Stone, 1966; in public domain; adapted by Alyson Huntly. Tune: Samuel Sebastian Wesley, 1864. In public domain. I thought of this hymn during a sermon at a recent presbytery meeting in Ottawa. The preacher asserted that it is God’s will for all of us to be in heterosexual marriage. There are simply no other options— no space in his rigid moral judgment for other choices. No one moved, or walked out, or objected. Some of us did turn a little pale, and several of us made eye contact. My gut ached as I wondered, “How long?” Would we have sat so silently, I wondered, if the speaker had excluded and demeaned, not lesbians and gays, but blacks or the disabled? Would we have let such blatant exclusion and bigotry slide by if it had been directed at other marginalized groups in our society? Perhaps. Perhaps this is a sign of the deep schisms that still exist in our church. But I think we are even more silent than usual when religious condemnation or hatred is directed to gays and lesbians. Our fear of schism still seems to keep us from speaking out. And we let the heresy of exclusion go on. God calls us to inclusive love, love of our neighbor, even when our neighbor is stranger, outcast, or “other.” For in Christ there is no rich or poor, male or female, Jew or Greek, black or white, gay or straight…but one human family united in God’s love. Until then, may the saints continue to keep watch—and cry out “how long?” ▼ Source This article was first published in Consensus, the newsletter of Affirm United (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and their friends of the United Church of Canada). Used with permission. Alyson Huntly is the editor of Consensus, the newsletter of Affirm United (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and their friends of The United Church of Canada). She has just completed a book, Daring to Be United, describing the United Church of Canada’s struggle over the issue of homosexuality. It will be published by United Church of Canada Press this spring. Ina Edminster and Lisa Ann Pierce at St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship, November, 1997. Photo: Karen L. Abshier Winter 1998 13 14 Open Hands “Why Be Specific In Our Welcome?” Pat Tymchyshyn Several years ago the Church and Society Work Area of Wesley United Methodist Church in Champaign, Illinois, formed a task force to explore how our church could become a Reconciling Congregation. The road was not smooth and took some rather unexpected turns. This tells the story of a journey from “reconciling” to “inclusive.” In 1995 we were excited to be a part of our new Reconciling Task Force. James Preston from the Reconciling Program came to speak to our congregation. We organized study groups. Several members attended the national reconciling convocation at Augsburg Seminary. And we really felt that becoming a Reconciling Congregation was completely logical and in keeping with Wesley’s nature. But that proved not to be the case. We met strong resistance to becoming part of the national movement. Our task force had been created to help Wesley decide where it was in relation to the acceptance of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons. In the process, we engaged in dialogues, formal presentations, study groups, and members of our committee visited every task force, committee, work area, and fellowship group in the church. Still, there was resistance. Some expressed fears that the national reconciling movement was directing Wesley! We attempted to become a task force that was more obviously Wesley-centered and Wesley-born. Rather than using materials from the Reconciling Congregations Program and similar programs, we changed the content of our message to the personal stories of lesbian, gay, and bisexual current and former members of Wesley. The message was better received, but it was clear that the congregation was not yet ready to formally adopt a reconciling statement. Some of the objections were: “Wesley is already a welcoming place, why do we need to make an official welcome to l/g/b people?” “Why are we considering welcoming only a certain group of people?” “If we are going to advertise Wesley as a welcoming place, should we make it clear that we welcome all people?” Our task force decided to metamorphose again and become an Inclusiveness Task Force, focusing on letting people outside the church know how welcoming a place those of us inside already knew our congregation to be. We enlisted the aid of the congregation in forming the following welcoming statement: “Wesley United Methodist Church is a diverse and welcoming community uniting in seeking Christ. We neither exclude nor judge anyone. We invite everyone in all circumstances and walks of life, including you.” We print this statement in every church bulletin. The task force officially became a standing work area of the church, intended to continue the work of welcoming everyone without losing sight of the original goal of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Our services included: signing at Christmas and Easter worship services and at large workshops; adding a TTY/TDD device for the hearing-impaired; promoting a Bible study designed for lesbian, gay, bisexual and straight alike; planning a conflict resolution workshop; and supporting the regional church’s Reconciling Congregation study groups and workshops. We continue to encourage and facilitate study and discussion sessions on the question of why some people are or feel excluded from the church or by society. Perhaps by “living the question,” as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, we will “live into the answer” of why it may be necessary to become specific in welcoming those who believe themselves unwelcome. ▼ Pat Tymchyshyn is chair of the Church and Society Work Area of Wesley United Methodist Church in Champaign, Illinois, and a member of its Inclusive Work Area. The mother of a gay son, she founded the local PFLAG chapter. She is a retired teacher of nursing. Bridge-Building Tools Winter 1998 15 Whose Church Is It, Anyway? Susan Laurie I used to be “in.” It used to be “my” church. As a child I was at church several times a week: choir practice, scouts, youth group, and Sunday worship. I knew nothing of church politics or debates. I just knew people who represented Christ as loving and caring. As an adult, I found a church and pastor who asked us to think and act as Christ taught, preaching grace and inclusion. Again, I felt loved and valued and included. Not until I discerned a call from God to pursue ordained ministry did I run into denominational rulebooks that kept me out. I was naive as to the extent of some people’s passion to let me know I am not a full member of “my” church. Now I find myself outside the doors of a denomination that carefully excludes me as a lesbian Christian. Every four years the United Methodist Church gathers for its General Conference, the opportunity for church policies to be changed. In April 1996 I arrived at Denver’s gathering to join a large group of volunteers from the Reconciling Congregation Program. Many people had worked many hours preparing our witness. I felt very positive about the effort: its creativity, attention to detail, and foundation in the gospel. I knew I would spend emotional and spiritual energy as well as physical energy. I was prepared to be a persistent, faithful witness. I was not prepared for the larger experience of insider/outsider dynamics. As I stood with our group of Reconciling United Methodists day after day, literally opening doors for delegates, making our present felt, I watched as other groups also stood outside. We were not the only ones trying to gain recognition in the conference. Others were striving for voice and representation on the inside: Black Methodists for Church Renewal, the Women’s Caucus, a rural caucus, an urban caucus (called Holy Boldness), Hispanic ministries, the Oklahoma Mission Conference, and others. “Celebrate Diversity”… how often it has been employed in order that we might slide in under its banner without seriously embracing its meaning. Though not officially denounced as we were, others were also familiar with limitations on their participation in the church. If a few members of a minority gain position, a demarcation line is drawn against “too many.” This stumbling block of tokenism was brought home for the assembly by a speech from Minerva Carcaño punctuated by her repetition of the phrase, “Two is enough.” Though eloquent, the speech itself became a token moment as attitudes seemed untouched. Legislation was proposed for clearly inclusive church membership: Therefore all persons without regard to age or intellectual ability, race or nationality, gender or sexual identity, class or handicapping conditions shall be eligible to attend its worship services, to participate in its programs, to receive the sacraments and be admitted as baptized or professing members in any local church . . . The voting body, insiders by definition, declared no list was necessary. They felt it sufficient to say “Therefore all persons shall be eligible for worship…” That would’ve been sufficient if all meant all. But the list is necessary, pertinent, and instructive. It does not lose significance as it grows longer, it keeps us mindful. As I stood among the other groups on the outside of the governing body inside, I gained better understanding what these struggles are about. “Celebrate Diversity” is a sentiment that I hear in my lesbian community. However, I pause to wonder how often it has been employed in order that we might slide in under its banner without seriously embracing its meaning. We celebrate diversity because it helps us know God, it calls or pushes us to think about our faith, challenging our comfort. “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ…The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’…(1 Cor. 12:12, 21a).” We need each other. Succumbing to a theology of scarcity— that there’s not enough of God’s love to go around— we compete for crumbs. I will not call this a lack of faith, but it is the result of a tentative faith. As we allow as to how God’s grace envelops the wider body of all people, we know God’s presence in our own hearts. God does so love the world! So let’s protest with confidence the exclusion of any person or group from our midst. We must demonstrate solidarity, listening and educating ourselves about the subtleties of classism, racism, ableism, sexism. Our benefit is that we learn from one another, enriching worship, gaining biblical insights, challenging our discipleship. I appreciate those who have been in the struggle for decades, even generations. Sometimes I am ready to quit next week. As a cloud of witnesses whose faith is not reduced to nor limited by rulebooks, we will live into the fullest possible understanding of God’s grace and provision. “If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it” (1 Cor. 12:26). Let’s forget the sentimental idea of “my” church and dwell in the whole body of Christ. ▼ After 16 years as a high school teacher, Susan Laurie attended Garret-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois, receiving her M.Div. degree in 1995. She is seeking ordination in the Western Pennsylvania Annual Conference, while living with her partner of 15 years in Edinboro, Pennsylvania. 16 Open Hands Only Say the Word… Bobbi Wells Hargleroad It was the first Sunday of October 1997 and the Table at the front of our large, formal sanctuary was prepared for World Communion Sunday. It was also Solidarity Sunday, and members of our mission board, in partnership with Dignity / Chicago, were distributing strips of rainbow-colored ribbon at various entrances to the church. The worship service began and, toward the end of the sermon, our preacher for the day called attention to the ribbons and how important it was for all—ALL—to know they were welcome at this Table, explaining that the ribbons had been distributed that day to claim our solidarity with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered sisters and brothers, many of whom have known only exclusion and rejection from Christ’s church and table. It was a word we needed to hear. We, mostly white, middle class, heterosexual, mostly knowing-we-belong-here folks, needed the reminder, having adopted a “Toward a More Inclusive Church” statement the year before. We had made a commitment, but it was still very much a work in progress. Even in the power of the moment, most of us assumed that the ribbons were mainly for us. We regulars. “The choir.” It wasn’t until later that week that we realized how important they had been for a stranger in our midst. A stranger who went home to write us a several-page letter about the power our welcome had had for him. Reared as a Christian, he wrote, he’d nonetheless been cast aside by both family and church when he came out as a gay man. He had tried life without church. He had tried a variety of gay congregations. Then, for some unclear reason that Sunday, he had tried us. “For those of us who have been rejected,” the visitor wrote, “that simple invitation to join in the Communion meal can be a life-changing force.” Entering, he was astounded to see the rainbow ribbons, never guessing that we knew what they meant. Reading the explanatory card that came with each ribbon, he was yet more astounded to see that we did. He witnessed an elderly man, who reminded him of his grandfather, chatting with a young woman about the meaning of the ribbons. He noticed a father, with two children in tow, fasten a ribbon on each of them before setting out to find the “perfect pew.” He was amazed, the man wrote, to hear the words gay and lesbian in the sermon, and yet more surprised that they were not followed by terms like sin or demon-possessed or predatory. He struggled to fight back tears as he was welcomed with everyone else to the Communion table. He wrote further: To simply be accepted and welcomed is a powerful experience if you’re not accustomed to it…historically, the church has not always extended the sacred invitation of communion to everyone. And for those of us who have been rejected, that simple invitation to join in the Communion meal can be a life-changing force. He has been with us for worship numerous times in the past several months. His letter has been read and reread in a variety of settings. We continue to learn from it and be led by it. Yet the question I have is, if he had wandered in on any other Sunday, would he have felt welcomed? Would he have returned? Would there have been any sign of welcome? A symbol? A statement in the bulletin? A word from the pulpit? Would the prayers have touched the concerns of his life? Would pictures of new members have shown a variety of households, perhaps one like his own? Or would thoughtless references to “family” have driven him away? Worship, we say, is where we gather most authentically as a community. How do our worship services reflect to newcomers that they’re welcome? Especially if those newcomers, because of their history with the Church, are primed to see rejection rather than arms open in welcome? All of us in the welcoming church movement must reflect on how do we welcome people into worship—specifically, visibly, and clearly? This is the first of a series in Open Hands devoted to our sharing of stories of what has worked to make worship inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered folk. Which of you will be next to tell your congregation’s story, revealing successes or mistakes, strengths or weaknesses? Doing so will help us all. ▼ Bobbi Wells Hargleroad is Minister of Mission at First United Church of Oak Park (Presbyterian Church [U.S.A.] and United Church of Christ). Situated near Chicago, the congregation became a More Light/Open and Affirming church in February 1996. Avoiding “Been There/Done That!” Diana Roger Your church has voted to welcome lesbian, gay, and bisexual people fully into its life and leadership. Now what? Is your church finished with the welcoming issue? As the chairperson of a welcoming task force, I can offer examples of how one church proceeded after the vote. Winter 1998 17 Bellevue First Congregational UCC Church formally adopted an open and affirming statement in January, 1996. Some members of this congregation expressed concern from the beginning that going through an educational process followed by a vote could be merely an exercise in political correctness. They felt that the risk of divisiveness might be too high if the only result turned out to be a document that went into a file cabinet. People were eager to know whether going through an undoubtedly difficult process would make a difference. Being in the Greater Seattle area where there are a number of welcoming congregations, our task force had excellent mentoring. Input from those congregations was crucial. Before I approached the church council with a request to study the welcoming issue, I knew of post-vote actions taken by other churches. It was my expectation that becoming truly inclusive would be an ongoing process, and I had a clear picture as to what might happen following a vote. This was shared with our pastor, the council, the task force, and ultimately the congregation. The statement, which was later adopted, was written collaboratively and included a commitment to “continue exploring what it means to be faithfully Open and Affirming in a changing world.” One of the first things we did after our vote was to publicize our decision. A press release was prepared and sent to the local papers, followed up with phone calls. Articles appeared in several publications, including the Seattle Gay News and the newsletter of a local lesbian/gay organization. Members of the local PFLAG chapter were notified. A presentation was made to a local interfaith organization telling about our decision and how it was reached. The church council turned our welcoming task force into a permanent entity (a subcommittee of our outreach commission). The council also voted to include a specific portion of our welcoming statement in every Sunday bulletin and church newsletter. A parchment copy of the statement was framed and is prominently displayed. We made what would be our first annual financial contribution to our denomination’s coalition for lesbian and gay concerns. During the year following our vote, our church youth asked for their own series of open and affirming classes, to be patterned on the classes that had been offered to the entire congregation. (They had been invited to participate in the initial classes but most had not.) The classes were presented with an understanding that the youth would vote at the conclusion. They unanimously affirmed the welcoming stance. Our church’s 100th anniversary was in 1996, the year we officially became welcoming. A book updating our church history was written to commemorate the anniversary, and it contained a section about our welcoming journey. Our time capsule was opened and new materials, including our open and affirming statement, were inserted before re-sealing. We celebrated the one-year anniversary of our vote. Each week for a month we had short speeches and testimonials in church as well as articles in our newsletter. An especially moving testimonial was given by a gay member who started attending after he heard about our welcoming stance. Our pastor gave a sermon on the subject of inclusiveness, and we had a cake and ceremony at our quarterly congregational meeting. Our committee still puts articles in the church newsletter from time to time. It becomes clear to anyone listening to our pastor’s sermons over time that he views gay and lesbian people as part of God’s family and our church family. He intentionally includes different configurations of families when asking people to light the Advent candles. Our church was using inclusive language in our music and liturgy before our open and affirming discussions, but I think this is something that should be emphasized as a necessary part of being welcoming. Some of us occasionally attend seminars for people from area UCC and Disciples of Christ churches. Here we give suggestions and support to those whose churches have not yet voted, and we also share ideas about ways to live out our commitments to inclusivity. Last year the open and affirming UCC congregations in the Seattle area jointly sponsored an ad in the Seattle Gay News, which ran for a number of consecutive weeks. The ad listed the churches, saying that they “have publicly stated their non-judgmental welcome to all people regardless of sexual orientation.” Our library committee has asked for book and video suggestions, and some have been purchased. Pertinent articles are posted on the church bulletin board, including articles from the newsletter of a local gay/lesbian organization. Sexual orientation issues continue to be discussed from time to time in adult education classes. Prospective new members receive a packet that includes our welcoming statement. In addition, they are told about the process that the church went through before declaring this position. Similarly, a full copy of our statement is given to members of the confirmation class and is discussed as part of a lesson on Christian concerns about justice. Our personnel committee makes our welcoming statement and our antidiscrimination policy known to job applicants. When residents of the State of Washington were recently given the chance to end employment discrimination based upon sexual orientation, our church was not silent. Petitions to put an initiative on the ballot were made available to any who wanted to sign. When the initiative qualified for the November election, our pastor supported it through our newsletter. (The initiative, incidentally, failed.) We are approaching the two-year anniversary of our vote. Our church has grown by approximately 20% in that time. Many of the new members are young couples with children in search of an open-minded faith family. Our vote has been of interest to the gay community; we have had more gay and lesbian visitors than in the past. People with close relatives who are gay and lesbian have expressed thankfulness for the discussion that has taken place, and there is a new sense of openness. Nonetheless, we do not feel that we have “arrived.” We know that we have more work to do. ▼ Diana Roger lives in Renton, Washington. She ser ves on the boards of directors of The Multifaith AIDS Projects and The Eastside Network, an organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families and supporters. 18 Open Hands Six Handy Guidelines for Dialogue on “The Issue” Allen Fluent On May 15, 1994, our United Church of Christ congregation on Long Island, New York, unanimously adopted a statement that welcomed people into our full life and ministry regardless of sexual orientation. That “inclusive statement” was the product of a year-long study and discussion period in our church, during which we shared information, discussed, preached, prayed, heard testimony, argued, comforted and abused one another, and probably expressed both our faith and our fears more directly than we had at any other time in recent memory. For some of us, this heady tussle of ideas, emotions, faith claims and egos seemed invigorating and refreshingly churchlike, in a way reminiscent of the communities written to by the apostle Paul. It even came as a pleasant change of faire from the pious and practical tidbits ordinarily minced over on the plates of our official boards and committees. For others, however, the process of discerning our direction as a congregation in this way was disheartening, as long-term members felt their faith was being scrutinized, their attitudes were being questioned, their cherished beliefs denied. While some church members felt hurt by attitudes of fellow members that seemed rigid and uncaring, others complained that the moral standards upheld by scriptural teachings that had formed their life foundations were being abandoned, and expressed pain that these convictions were being interpreted as attitudes of prejudice and bigotry. When the pastors preached or led discussions on the subject, a chorus of voices protested, “We never get to hear the other side,” as though for every moral issue there should be two sides and a moderate position in the middle. Becoming a “welcoming congregation” was raised as a pastoral issue at our church. It was not an impersonal cause, or something we did because the denomination said we ought to (though our denomination had, in fact, taken a strong national position). From the very first conversations we had, it was clear that this was an issue people took personally, and to which we responded with passion. From the most enthusiastic supporters of the effort to the most ardent opponents, this was so; and though it often made our conversations intense and difficult, it was something that lent a sincerity to the process, and gave us great reason, upon reflection, to appreciate one another. How does a congregation of God’s people get through such a time? There are six principles that I have come to identify as crucial as we move through such a process. I do not claim that I have always been good at following all of them, but one of the joys of being a pastor is to know that there are many gifts among the members of a church. Thus, I have learned some of these from my fellow members along the way. The principles that helped us are: Don’t pretend to be neutral when you’re not. Sometimes people expect leaders and pastors to be neutral or “objective” on matters of social conscience, and even more people expect processes of decisionmaking in the church to treat all positions equally. I think that this is largely a myth. No minister in her/his right mind would want to be “neutral” about racism, sexism, or ethnocentrism; nor should such positions be given “equal time” in church discussion or debate. Our task as church leaders is to represent the Gospel of Jesus Christ as best we are able to discern it, to listen to faith-based disagreements, and to seek with our fellow members the truth that God inspires within us. Leading value-free discussion may have merit within some secular settings, but it is never appropriate in the church. Resolve the issue in a timely manner. It is important to allow for full consideration of such an issue. Most people agree with this. But it is also important to set benchmarks for accomplishment and bring the process to a definite and official conclusion. Churches are often reluctant to decide controversial issues, but there is nothing worse for the health of a church than to leave disagreements unresolved. Uncertainty about an important direction in the life of the community is painful to the community. So resolve it! Do not confuse the need to be understanding with the temptation to compromise. In a stable religious community, there are longtime members who will feel threatened by change. Their feelings deserve understanding, and their role as valuable and knowledgeable participants in the life of the church needs to be acknowledged by pastors and church leaders. It is tempting, however, to accommodate ourselves to the desire of such persons for things to move more slowly (or not at all). One of the hardest things a congregation has to do is to convince ourselves that in the eyes of Christ those who are most familiar to us and those who are least familiar to us have an equal claim upon our Christian love. We cannot decide to accommodate our long-term friends at the expense of others waiting for the love of God to be extended to them in this holy place. Keep the door open to a quiet change of heart. As anyone who watches political polls knows, people change their minds on a frequent basis. It is important to allow this to happen as often as needed, without forcing people into a commitment they will later regret. Remember that good people have lots of conflicting opinions in the course of their lives, so appreciate them for their inner selves and respect them enough to allow them to change their minds as often as they need to on their way to their own personal truth. Keep targeted on the human issues. Don’t allow debate around competing Bible verses, images of radical social protest, or imaginative reconstructions of bedtime behavior to obscure the genuine human and spiritual topic you are discussing - the openness of your congregation to accept the full range of spiritual gifts that can be brought by Christian people of various sexual orientations, for the life and ministry of Christ’s church in this place. Winter 1998 19 Base your position within your congregation’s own tradition and identity. Congregations always find positions more acceptable if they can be stated as an outgrowth of the self-understanding that the members already share. Church leadership should be skillful in interpreting any new direction in terms of the congregational tradition. If this is not done, the new direction will be perceived as a betrayal of the church’s common purpose. When becoming a welcoming church is understood as fulfilling our understanding of who we are, on the other hand, the process becomes a means for the church to grow in its integrity and understanding of its mission. When our congregation voted our “inclusive statement” in 1994, a few people left. I actually counted no more than eight, and all held a literalist interpretation of the Scriptures. They are people of integrity and I miss them, but I believe that their decision to join more conservative congregations was the right one for them and for the church. Some others pulled back for a time, feeling unsure about the direction our church was going. The vast majority celebrated the decision, and takes pleasure today in the growing diversity of our membership. Our membership numbers are relatively stable, though we seem to be growing a little younger and a little less affluent. Our budget has remained about the same, though we seem to be sending a higher percentage of our money to outreach and mission. It has taken some time for the issues we once argued about to begin fading as topics that divide us. In the meanwhile, we are enjoying the diverse gifts for ministry that have come to us as a result of that difficult time. ▼ The Rev. Allen M. Fluent, D.Min., is senior minister at Mt. Sinai Congregational United Church of Christ, Mt. Sinai, New York. How “Welcoming” Are Youth Groups? Trey Hall As more and more congregations welcome lesbian, gay, and bisexual members, young people who’ll be leading those churches in the future need appropriate nurturing. A survey for youth and youth leaders designed to assess youth programming and to gather needs and suggestions from youth groups in the Reconciling Congregation movement was sent to the 130 Reconciling Congregations at the end of May 1997. While only eight congregations in five states responded, the diversity of congregations that they represent makes it possible to note general attitudes and to offer tentative suggestions as welcoming congregations in all denominations develop outreach and support and curriculum for their youth groups and specifically for lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths. The survey was motivated by the general question “What can we say about the sensitivity level of youths in Reconciling Congregations to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons (l/g/b) in society and church?” Through the survey’s series of questions, four characteristics of the youth were considered: •involvement in the leadership of the church; •perception of the church as a safe place to discuss sexuality issues; •awareness of the life experience of lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons; •desire for education about sexuality issues. The data responses from individual youth and youth leaders were solicited in an evaluative discussion format. For this reason, a traditional statistical analysis cannot be applied, and results will be conveyed less objectively. However, the general trends and attitudes of the youth who responded are represented accurately by the following observations: 1. The majority of the youth are very active in programs within the church, but very few are part of the Reconciling Committee (or other similar committees). 2. All youth are aware of the open stance of their church. They know what the term “Reconciling Congregation” signifies, and are confident that their church is a safe place for all people, regardless of sexual orientation. One youth responded, “It’s a church! Of course it’s a safe place!” Many, however, are not aware of the antigay policies and polity of their denomination, specifically, its statements concerning ordination, holy unions, and the alleged “incompatibility” of homosexuality with Christian teaching. 3. While they are aware of their congregation’s open stance and are socially aware of the presence of l/g/b persons in society and the life of the church, most youth do not believe that they personally know l/g/b persons in their congregations, and very few have had any contact with l/g/b youth. Several youth do not feel that their congregation has helped them to relate to l/g/b persons. While most are aware of l/g/b youth in their schools, only two youth groups responding report any self-professed l/g/b members of the youth group. 4. While most youth seem to be at healthy levels of acceptance of l/g/b youth, many are unsure about the issues faced by this group. They have little knowledge of the Bible’s commentary on sexual relationships. Youth and youth leaders overwhelmingly report a need for curriculum resources on human sexuality and the Bible, and a sensitivity/experiential study on l/g/b youth and youth issues. Overall the study found that all of the youth groups are cognizant of and content with their congregation’s statement of reconciliation. This observation from Fellowship UMC (Vallejo, California)—“Everyone is open-minded to the diversity of people; they’re very accepting”— typifies the results found in most youth groups of Reconciling Congregations. A few youth leaders reported a deliberate attempt to include the voice of l/g/b persons in their programming in the form of panels, video discussions, participation in a l/g/b youth conference, and a regular sexuality series in the United Methodist Youth schedule. One congregation even includes a 20 Open Hands section on sexuality in its confirmation class! However, it seems that most youth groups are in need of a transition from the theory and discussion of welcoming all people to a praxis of inclusion. Perhaps the youth groups serve as an indicator for welcoming congregations as a whole. A youth from Wesley UMC (Fresno, California) speaks simply and effectively: “We are very prepared; we only need to spread the word.” To cultivate an affirming environment, youth groups must not only inform themselves about the variety of human sexual experience and create a safe space for dialogue with and for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and straight youth, but also must seek to move beyond the traditional model of “if you build it, they will come” by emphasizing a proactive evangelism. Such intentional outreach may include these steps: •sharing the reconciling message with area youth groups that are not welcoming; •connecting with l/g/b youth groups from P-FLAG chapters and community centers; •advertising in l/g/b friendly publications and other media; •sponsoring youth speaker panels at regional church youth events; •working with the area school board and local high schools to establish support groups for l/g/b students and students with l/g/b family members; •participating with the welcoming committee in the local congregation and at regional church events. Becoming open to the idea of welcoming lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth to a church youth group is only the first step. Publicizing a youth group’s welcome, actively engaging l/g/b youth, and opening and continuing dialogue and education regarding the issues and persons involved are all needed as we reach out beyond our insular congregations with the message of reconciliation. ▼ Trey Hall is a first year M.Div. student at the Candler School of Theology at Emory University, Atlanta. He wrote this while serving as an intern for the Reconciling Congregation Program last year. WLHall@Emory.edu “Now I Know God Loves Me” Daphne Burt I met Jane1 in the fall of her sophomore year. She frightened me. Jane was a member of the rugby team; she drank a lot, and she was the kind of “in your face” lesbian that I didn’t always feel prepared to deal with. But I liked her openness and her honesty. I told her that I believed that God loves all people, including gay and lesbian people. She told me that when she had come out to the youth pastor of her church, he had told her that because of her orientation, she was going to hell. She had not been back to church since. My ministry at Mary Washington College is evangelical at its core. I get out of bed every morning because I passionately believe that young adults need to know that God loves them. Many of them don’t know who God is, or don’t believe that they are loveable. I minister to the entire student body, but I am particularly concerned about the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered students who have been told that God doesn’t love them because of their orientation or identity. Jane was…the kind of “in your face” lesbian that I didn’t always feel prepared to deal with. I watched for Jane. I keep “office hours” at the fountain in the middle of campus, and Jane started stopping by to “check in.” Our conversations ranged from how she was doing in her classes to discussions about relationship ethics (Such as: Was it OK to flirt with men even though you’re a lesbian? What is the kindest way to end a long term relationship?). Jane could not come to our large group meetings, but there was no question in either of our minds that I was her pastor. I never stopped stressing God’s love for her, but she still couldn’t bring herself to believe it. I received notice of a conference being held in Michigan during spring break entitled: “The Gifts We Offer, the Burdens We Bear—The Vocation of Gay and Lesbian People in the Church and Society.” The next time I saw Jane at the fountain, I was straightforward: “Jane, there’s this conference in Michigan in March. I’m going. So are you.” Five of us drove in one car to Michigan. When we arrived at the conference, Jane and the others came in contact with something they had never seen before: Christian gays, lesbians, and bisexuals— all active in their churches. She met other college students. She learned from committed couples, male and female. She discovered that it was possible to be a person of faith without being ashamed of her sexuality. When we returned, I asked Jane to make a presentation to our board of directors. She told them: “Now I know that God loves me. I need to go back to church. I want to go back to church. Even if the church doesn’t think I’m OK, God thinks I’m OK. I need to worship and get back in touch with the God who loves me.” Deliberately inclusive campus ministry risks loss of funding, negative publicity, and accusations of “not really being Christian.” Students like Jane make it all worthwhile. ▼ Daphne Burt is an ordained pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and serves the Campus Christian Community at Mary Washington College in Fredericksburg, Virginia. The CCC voted to be Reconciled in Christ in 1995. Note 1 Not her real name. Winter 1998 21 Keeping Secrets A Children’s Story Liz Lang It seems like there are different kinds of secrets. One kind is exciting, such as when you give a friend a present. You want them to open it right away and sometimes it’s hard not to tell them what it is even before they open the gift! Then there’s another kind of secret. It’s when we think there’s something wrong with us or we think other people think there’s something wrong with us. We keep secrets then because we’re afraid they won’t include us or like us anymore. Our church once had a minister with a secret. Do you know what the secret was? She was a woman who wanted to marry another woman, a lesbian. And she knew that a lot of church people think there’s something wrong with being a lesbian. In fact, a lot of church people think it’s so bad to be a lesbian that they wouldn’t even hire one as their minister. So Debra didn’t tell anyone at our church that she was gay, another word used to describe women who deeply love women and men who deeply love men. Meanwhile, some of the old-timers were worried that there weren’t enough people in our church. So they started praying for God to bring new people. And new people started coming. There were Skip and Kathy and Sheila and Liz and Louise and Carol and Dottie. There was something surprising about them. They all had the same secret that Deb had—they were gay and lesbian, too! One day, Debra decided she’d had enough of secret-keeping! It was time to tell the church that gay and lesbian people belong in the church; that God loves us all. She decided to tell the truth. This took lots of courage! Some people in the church were very angry. They said, “We don’t want her as our minister anymore.” So one day there was a great big meeting where people debated (which means they argued) about whether Debra should stay as the minister. One woman, an elder named Bernice, stood up and said the most amazing thing. “I have been praying for God to send us new people. If those people who come are gay and lesbian, well, God sent them and they belong here. We must welcome them.” People said lots of others things, and then they took a vote. There were more people who wanted her to stay than to leave. So she stayed. Some of the people decided to leave our church. It was a very sad time, but also, it was a very happy time. We were surprised about what happened next. We discovered that we wanted to tell the truth more and more. We discovered that people had lots of different kinds of secrets and that telling the truth about ourselves made us feel better. We found that without secrets to keep we could be more open to the love of God. So now we’re a church that celebrates the truth. ▼ Copyright © 1995 by Liz Lang. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission. Liz Lang has been a Disciple of Christ since the ’60s. Liz and her partner, Louise Petrasek, began attending Findlay Street Christian Church in Seattle, Washington, a few months before the events of this story. Liz serves on the national coordinating council of the Gay, Lesbian, & Affirming Disciples Alliance. 22 Open Hands Sustaining the Spirit EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE Copyright ©1997 by David Golden Permission granted for use in worship. Winter 1998 23 — EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE — TO FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH OF CORVALLIS, OREGON, IN CELEBRATION OF THEIR RECONCILING MINISTRY. David Golden is diaconal minister of music and youth at Christ United Methodist Church, 12755 NW Dogwood St., Portland, OR 97229. 503/646-1598 24 Open Hands Movement News Lutherans Endorse ENDA Reconciling in Christ congregations will have an easier time promoting civil and ecclesiastical rights for gays and lesbians since the 1997 Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Church in America, meeting in Philadelphia last August, endorsed the federal Employment Non Discrimination Act (ENDA) by an 80% vote. The bill, which would outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation in private industry, will be reconsidered by the U.S. Congress this year after a narrow defeat in the Senate last year. The action resulted from the efforts of Lutherans Concerned/North America, whose program executive, Bob Gibeling, authored the “memorial” or motion originally passed by the Southeastern Synod ELCA (GA, AL, MS, and TN). Presbyterians Vote on “Fidelity and Integrity” Early voting results of more than half the presbyteries of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) indicate a decisive rejection of Amendment A, a proposed change intended to soften the antigay stance of The Book of Order that governs the denomination. As of February 25, 68 presbyteries have opposed the measure of the 105 which have voted. The amendment would moderate the restrictions of the previously passed “Amendment B” that requires that those ordained in the church as ministers, elders, and deacons “live in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman or chastity in singleness.” Since the PC (U.S.A.) fails to recognize marriage between same-gender partners, this qualification effectively rules out ordination of noncelibate lesbian and gay members. The new measure instead calls for “fidelity and integrity in marriage or singleness, and in all relationships of life.” More Light congregations which ordain openly gay or lesbian local church officers are more likely to face disciplinary actions unless the new wording is approved. (Jerry Van Marter, Julian Shipp, and Dick Lundy contributed to this article.) ONA Plants “Burning Bush” Fifty people planted a “burning bush” at the Massachusetts Conference Center of the United Church of Christ in Framingham last Oct. 8 to honor the national Open and Affirming (ONA) movement of the UCC. A gift of the Plymouth (New Hampshire) Congregational Church, the bush, which turns fiery red in autumn, is intended to serve as “a gesture of friendship to visually, physically, and spiritually connect and strengthen the network of ONA churches.” The Plymouth congregation has previously presented bushes to its “sister” ONA churches in New Hampshire. Massachusetts was chosen as the site for the “national bush” because of that Conference’s significant contributions to the ONA movement. (Ann Day) Upcoming Gatherings March 20-22 Brethren/Mennonite Parents of L/G/B Children, Laurelville (PA) Mennonite Church Center: “Building Bridges Across A Chasm of Silence,” ninth annual Connecting Families Weekend Retreat. Leaders: Revs. Debbie Eisenbise and Lee Krähenbühl, pastors of Skyridge Church of the Brethren in Kalamazoo, MI. Contact: B/M Parents of L/G/B Children, P.O. Box 1708, Lima, OH 45802; 612/722-6906; BMCouncil@aol.com May 2-4 Regional (IN/MI/OH) Reconciling Congregation Program gathering at De Sales Retreat Center in Brooklyn, MI. Contact: Shawn Wietstock, 219/288-7907, or Mary Ann Carlson, 216/691-0219. May 22-24 More Light Churches Network’s 1998 Conference at McKinley Church, Champaign-Urbana, IL: “1978-1998: Honor the Past; Transform the Future.” Keynote: ethicist Dr. Beverly Wildung Harrison of New York’s Union Theological Seminary. Contact: Richard Sprott, 510/268-8603, rasprott@ix.netcom.com June 25-28 United Church of Christ Coalition for L/G/B/T Concerns meets at the University of Illinois, Chicago. “Daring Intersections/ Listening at the Edges: Expressions of Sexual Identity, Race, Class, Gender, and Ableness” will include art forms, scripture, and personal storytelling.Contact: John Lardin 313/753-4808 or e-mail jwlardin@aol.com July 16-19 First combined Lutherans Concerned/North America and Integrity international assembly, Chicago, IL. “That We May Be One” Keynote: Rev. Dr. Carter Heyward, Episcopal priest, theologian, author, activist, professor of Anglican and feminist theology at Episcopal Divinity School, Cambridge, MA. Contact Bob Gibeling in Atlanta, 404/266-9615. July 16-19 Gay, Lesbian, and Affirming Disciples Alliance retreat at Benedict Inn, a retreat center in Beech Grove outside Indianapolis, IN. Open to all, especially members of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Leader: Rev. Melanie Morrison, author, ordained UCC minister, retreat leader. Contact: GLAD Alliance at P.O.Box 19223, Indianapolis, IN 46219-0223. July 24-26 Regional (AR/MO/KS/NE) Reconciling Congregation Program gathering at Trinity UMC in Kansas City, MO: “Changing Attitudes, Changing Ways, Changing Church.” Speakers: Bishop Fritz Mutti, Dr. Tex Sample, Dr. Emilie Townes, Gene Lowry. Contact: Gerry Heckel, 816/444-8512. July 24-26 Supportive Congregations Network of the Brethren/Mennonite Church meet in Wichita, KS: “Dancing in the Southwind: Weaving an Inclusive Spirit.” Contact: SCN, P.O. Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406; 612/722-6906; SCNetwork@aol.com Winter 1998 25 Cherokee Park United Church St. Paul, Minnesota Cherokee Park United Church was formed in 1968 by the merger of UCC and Presbyterian congregations. Located in St. Paul’s Westside (west of the Mississippi River), the congregation is in the midst of a culturally and economically diverse neighborhood and opens its building to a number of groups, including two Spanish-speaking congregations. It sponsors an after-school tutoring program, a community youth choir, and has a float in the annual Cinco de Mayo parade. Becoming a More Light Church is viewed as a continuation of its commitment to justice. New Covenant Community Normal, Illinois The New Covenant Community is oriented toward the campus of Illinois State University in Normal. Affiliated with the Disciples of Christ, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), and the United Church of Christ, the congregation is a welcoming community for people who have fallen away from active church participation. Newly-installed Copastors Bob and Susan Ryder have been longtime supporters of justice issues, including justice for l/g/b/t persons, and are thrilled to be at a welcoming congregation. The Congregational Church Exeter, New Hampshire Gathered in 1683, this 500-member “pillar church” stands in the center of a historic New England town. The church has received many new members in the wake of its ONA vote. There is a greater willingness for members to examine serious issues and to listen to one another’s feelings. The Christian Growth and Mission and Action committees have cosponsored special events and continue to incorporate the ONA vision into their work. First Church of Christ Northampton, Massachusetts Both UCC and American Baptist, the 300 members of this congregation gather in the heart of Northampton for worship and strong community-based ministry. “A radical celebration of diversity” in age, sexual orientation, race, and socio-economic status, the church is also in the final stage of a million-dollar building campaign which will restore the exterior and add a handicap access ramp and elevator. Some 35 groups currently use the church’s space, including several gay/lesbian groups. The congregation also engages in a ministry of membership to help new lesbian and gay members feel truly at home in its fellowship. Plymouth Congregational Church, UCC Madison, Wisconsin With an increasing number of younger members over the past ten years, this 230-member urban congregation has developed strong Christian education and health ministry programs. It has a halftime parish nurse and offers a course on parenting teens. Other mission outreach includes work with a homeless shelter and a free meal program two days a month. The church is an active participant in area ecumenical gatherings of “welcoming movement” congregations and regularly participates in the Madison Gay/Lesbian Pride March. RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS The logo is absent here and on our masthead because of objections from the United Methodist Church to our incorporation of its logo. Berry Memorial United Methodist Church Chicago, Illinois This small urban congregation on the northwest side of Chicago sees itself as a large family in which all folks are invited and encouraged to be active in its ministries. The congregation has a strong emphasis on ministries with children and houses community day care and after-school programs. The congregation also houses a community food pantry, several recovery groups and scouting programs. It has responded positively to recent challenges to become truly welcoming—not only by becoming a Reconciling Congregation, but by receiving a Hispanic pastor in a cross-cultural appointment and by providing a home for a new African congregation, Gye Nyame. Christ United Methodist Church Santa Rosa, California Christ UMC was founded 35 years ago as an alternative to traditional worshiping communities. Its worship space is an octagonal room with flexible seating. This 200-member congregation shares its worship space with a Reform Jewish congregation. The members have a long history of social justice involvement. Last year a mission team went to Nicaragua. Christ UMC has an active youth program, a strong music ministry and a deaf ministry. A garden on the church grounds raises food for hunger programs. The church houses a nursery school and several 12-Step programs. The vote to become a Reconciling Congregation was 80 in favor, one abstention, and no negative votes. Delavan United Methodist Church Delavan, Wisconsin Delavan is located in southern Wisconsin in the midst of a growing resort area around Lake Geneva. The congregation is an oasis of openness and diversity in a more conservative community. Its 300 members are politically and theologically diverse joined by respect and tolerance. The church building is a Welcoming Communities More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance MORE LIGHT OPEN AND AFFIRMING 26 Open Hands RECONCILING IN CHRIST Selected Resources community center with one room dedicated for use by a variety of community groups. The congregation also sponsors a parish nurse and houses a Hispanic ministry. The Reconciling Congregation discussion and unanimous decision grew out of concern for a number of parents and family members of gay and lesbian persons in the congregation. St. John’s United Methodist Church Miami Beach, Florida Over the past decade St. John’s UMC has been transformed from an older traditional church to a community of faith which reflects the diversity of the residents of Miami Beach. The congregation’s focus is on being the disciples of Jesus Christ in the world. Members are involved in ministries with children and with women who are victims of abuse. The decision to become a Reconciling Congregation was a part of the congregation’s outreach and growth over the past several years. Please note that “Reconciled in Christ” congregations are now referred to as “Reconciling in Christ” by vote of the executive committee of Lutherans Concerned/North America. Lake Edge Lutheran Church Madison, Wisconsin Lake Edge Lutheran Church is situated on the east side of beautiful Madison. Comprising about 400 households, the congregation has committed itself to the vision of “daring to embody the Gospel.” This vision has resulted in identifying ten congregational goals, the first of which is “Becoming an Inclusive Community.” Thus the congregation dares to create an atmosphere of openness, declaring its intent to seek, welcome, and include all who wish to share its vision and mission. Lake Edge has a history of open dialogue concerning issues of human sexuality. Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church Salt Lake City, Utah Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church was established in 1907 as a mission to Danish immigrants. This congregation of 250 members now seeks to reach out with the gospel to all people in its downtown/university community. Mt. Tabor has been actively involved in Lutheran campus ministry at the University of Utah as well as in the city’s Interfaith Hospitality Network, St. Vincent de Paul soup kitchen, and the Utah Food Bank. The church affirms ELCA’s position of welcoming all persons who seek the grace of Jesus Christ. St. James Lutheran Church Kansas City, Missouri St. James Lutheran Church is an urban Kansas City congregation with approximately 950 members and a strong emphasis on social ministry, which includes work with Habitat for Humanity and a food pantry in the building. The parish diversity includes people of color and of diverse economic backgrounds. The Reconciling in Christ Affirmation of Welcome is one way the church reaches out to encourage diversity in the congregation. St. James is also the host church to the local Lutherans Concerned chapter, and gay and lesbian people have become incorporated into the church’s ministry. OPEN AND AFFIRMING Order from: ONA Resources, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520- 0403. Checks payable to UCCL/GC. Price includes postage. OK! We’re ONA. Now What? An ONA Idea Book. Ideas from congregations across the country about living out an ONA commitment. $8.00 Blessing Ceremonies: Resources for Same-Gender Services of Commitment. Materials include theological background, sample services, liturgical resources, and personal accounts of those who have been part of such services. $12.50 MORE LIGHT CHURCHES NETWORK Order from: Ralph Carter, More Light Resources, 111 Milburn Street, Rochester NY 14607-2918; 716-271-7649; ralph.carter@ pcusa.org. Checks payable to MLCN. Price includes postage. More Light Resource Packet. Includes More Light brochure, “How to” ideas for developing More Light ministry in the congregation, sample More Light statements, and much more. $18.00. Brochure available separately for free. Keeping the Flame Alive, 20 suggestions for welcoming congregations. Free; copy or internet. RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM Order from: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641. 773/726-5526. Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality. Mary Jo Osterman. Chicago: Reconciling Congregations Program, 1997. Study book and leader’s guide. Copies are $5.95. Leader’s guide is $9.95. Plus shipping. Still on the Journey: A Handbook for Reconciling Congregations in Ministry with Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Gay Men. 54pp. $15. RECONCILING IN CHRIST PROGRAM Prices include shipping. Reconciling in Christ Information Packet. Background information and advice, brochures, relevant material and resource list. Free. Order from: Bob Gibeling, 2466 Sharondale Dr., Atlanta, GA 30305; 404/266-9615. This Is My Story. Video by Lutherans Concerned featuring personal stories of g/l Christians. Two versions, one for an individual and the other for a congregation. 22 minutes. $15. Specify which version and order from: Lutherans Concerned InfoX, 409 Roland Hills Dr. Mogadore, OH 44260; or by e-mail: InfoX@lcna.org Inclusive Faith. Video for congregations considering the Reconciling in Christ program. $15. Order from: (see directly above). Winter 1998 27 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, 811 local churches, 42 campus ministries, 29 judicatories, and four national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including lesbian women and gay men. These 886 welcoming communities are found in ten denominations in 46 states and the District of Columbia of the United States and in 5 provinces of Canada. The complete list (as of January 15, 1998) follows. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes: CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Mesa Celebration of Life Presbyterian (ML) Phoenix Asbury UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Faith Lutheran (RIC) Tucson Church of the Painted Hills (ONA) First Christian (O&A) Rincon Congregational UCC (ONA) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) New Fellowship UCC (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Campbell First UMC (RC) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) Chatsworth West Valley UMC (RC) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito Christ Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito UMC (RC) Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Northminster Presbyterian (ML) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno First Congregational (ONA) Wesley UMC (RC) Gardena First UMC (RC) Guerneville Community Church, UCC (ONA) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) United Church (ONA) Westminster Hills Presbyterian (ML) Hollywood Hollywood UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) La Verne Church of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Alamitos Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Los Angeles Bethel Lutheran (RIC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Westwood Hills Congregational (ONA) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Napa Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Beacon Presbyterian Fellowship (ML) Faith American Lutheran (RIC) First Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) Unitarian Universalist Society (WEL) San Bernardino First Congregational Church, UCC (ONA) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Church Lutheran (RIC) Church of the Advent (OAS) Church of St. John the Evangelist (OAS) City of Refuge (ONA) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Aidan’s Church (OAS) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John the Evangelist Episcopal (OAS) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity Church (OAS) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (ONA, W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) TOTAL AC Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada) ...... 9 ML More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian) .................................. 91 OAS Oasis (Episcopal) ................................................................................48 ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) ............................. 238 O&A Open & Affirming (Disciples) ............................................................ 34 RIC Reconciling in Christ (Lutheran) ..................................................... 154 RC Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist) ................. 161 SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) ..................................................... 19 W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) ..................................... 28 WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) ................................................ 107 28 Open Hands Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa Christ UMC (RC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fellowship of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) St. Mark’s UMC (RC) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Boulder Mennonite (SCN) Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) Fireside Christian (O&A) First Universalist (WEL) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas Lutheran Chapel (RIC) Greeley Family of Christ United (ML) Pueblo Christ Congregational, UCC (ONA) Telluride Christ Presbyterian (ML) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Ellington First Lutheran (RIC) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Guilford First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hamden Spring Glen Church, UCC (ONA) U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Lutheran Church of the Reformation (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater UU Church of Clearwater (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Lake Mary Grace UMC (RC) Miami Beach Miami Beach Community (ONA) Riviera Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) North Palm Beach First Unitarian (WEL) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan Presbyterian (ML, ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Athens Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) Ormewood Park Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) Marietta Pilgrimage UCC (ONA) HAWAI‘I Honolulu Calvary By the Sea Lutheran (RIC) Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Berry Memorial UMC (RC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Epworth UMC (RC) Gladstone Park Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Park View Lutheran (RIC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Luke’s Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Hazel Crest Hazel Crest Community UMC (RC) Naperville First Congregational Church (ONA) Normal New Covenant Community (ML, ONA, O&A) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) First United Church (ML, ONA) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Oak Park Mennonite (SCN) Park Forest UU Community (WEL) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Streamwood Immanuel UCC (ONA) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community UMC (RC) INDIANA Bloomington St. Thomas Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Goshen Circle of Hope Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) Indianapolis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) North Manchester Manchester Church of the Brethren (SCN) South Bend Central UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Peoples Church UU (WEL) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines Cottage Grove Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Winter 1998 29 First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City FaithWorks Community (ML, ONA, O&A, RC) Rainbow Mennonite (SCN) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Third Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Bath UCC, Congregational (ONA) Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Mt. Desert Somesville Union Meeting House (ONA) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) Waterville Universalist Unitarian (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Brown Memorial Park Ave. Pres. (ML) Dundalk Church of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Christ UMC (RC) Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Congregational UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ML, ONA) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Park Street Baptist (W&A) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham First Parish Old Ship (WEL) Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Needham First Parish UU (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational UCC (ONA) First Parish Society (WEL) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton First Church of Christ (ONA) Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury Church of the United Community (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Somerville Clarenden Hill Presbyterian (ML) Stowe First Parish Ch. of Stowe & Acton (WEL) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Memorial Congregational UCC (ONA) Waltham First Presbyterian (ML) Wayland First Parish of Wayland (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) West Somerville College Avenue UMC (RC) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Ferndale Zion Lutheran (RIC) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Church of the Brethren (SCN) Lansing Lansing Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southfield Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Williamston Williamston UMC (RC) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Becker Becker UMC (RC) Burnsville Presbyterian Church of the Apostles (ML) Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Hobart UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Lynnhurst Congregational (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Minnehaha UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Parkway UCC (ONA) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud St. Cloud UU Fellwoship (WEL) Univ. Lutheran of the Epiphany (RIC) St. Paul Cherokee Park United (ML, ONA) Dayton Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Macalester-Plymouth United (ML, ONA) St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. James Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) Tyler Place Presbyterian (ML) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Lincoln Unitarian Church (WEL) Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Concord South Congregational, UCC (ONA) Exeter Congregational (ONA) Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist Congregation (WEL) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Sanbornton Sanbornton Congregational UCC (ONA) NEW JERSEY Bloomfield Christ Episcopal (OAS) 30 Open Hands Boonton St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Chatham St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Chester Church of the Messiah Episcopal (OAS) Clifton St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Denville Church of Our Saviour Episcopal (OAS) East Brunswick East Brunswick Congregational, UCC (ONA) Englewood St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Exeter Congregational Church (ONA) Fort Lee Church of the Good Shepherd (OAS) Hackensack Christ Episcopal (OAS) Harrington Park St. Andrew’s Episcopal (OAS) Hasbrouck Heights Church of St. John the Divine (OAS) Hawthorne St. Clement’s Episcopal (OAS) Hoboken All Saints Parish (OAS) Jersey City Grace Van Vorst Episcopal (OAS) St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Leonia All Saints Episcopal (OAS) Madison Grace Episcopal (OAS) Maplewood St. George’s Episcopal (OAS) Mendham St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Millburn St. Stephen’s Episcopal (OAS) Montclair St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) St. Luke’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian (WEL) Montvale St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Morristown Church of the Redeemer (OAS) St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Mt. Arlington St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) New Brunswick Emanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Cathedral of Trinity and St. Philip (OAS) Grace Episcopal (OAS) Norwood Church of the Holy Communion (OAS) Oakland St. Alban’s Episcopal (OAS) Parsippany St. Gregory’s Episcopal (OAS) Passaic St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Paterson St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) Pompton Lakes Christ Church (OAS) Princeton Christ Congregation (ONA, W&A) Ridgewood Christ Episcopal (OAS) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Sparta St. Mary’s Episcopal (OAS) Summit Calvary Episcopal (OAS) Teaneck St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Tenafly Church of the Atonement (OAS) Towaco Church of the Transfiguration (OAS) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) Upper Montclair St. James’ Episcopal (OAS) Verona Holy Spirit Episcopal (OAS) Wantage Good Shepherd Episcopal (OAS) NEW MEXICO Albuquerque First Unitarian (WEL) Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) First Presbyterian (ML) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Blooming Grove Blooming Grove UCC (ONA) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unitarian Cong. Society (WEL) King’s Highway UMC (RC) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Copake Craryville UMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Fairport Mountain Rise UCC (ONA) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Ithaca First Baptist Church (W&A) Kingston Trinity UMC (RC) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York City Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Paul & St. Andrew UMC (RC) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Plattsburgh Plattsburgh UMC (RC) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown United Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Slatehill Grace UMC of Ridgebury (RC) Slingerlands Community UMC (RC) Snyder Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Syracuse Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Troy First United Presbyterian (ML) Utica Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) Olin T. Binkley Memorial Baptist (W&A) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) NORTH DAKOTA Fargo St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Euclid Ave. Congregational UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Simpson UMC (RC) West Shore UU (WEL) Zion UCC (ONA) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) North Congregational UCC (ONA) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Miami Valley Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Lakewood Cove UMC (RC) Parkwood Congregational, UCC (ONA) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) Winter 1998 31 OKLAHOMA Oklahoma City Epworth UMC (RC) Tulsa Fellowship Congregational, UCC (ONA) UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ, Cong. (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Congregational Church (ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) Eugene First Congregational, UCC (ONA) Unitarian of Eugene & Lane Co. (WEL) Forest Grove Forest Grove UCC (ONA) Gresham Zion UCC (ONA) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland Ainsworth UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Presbyterian (ML) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Allentown Muhlenberg College Chapel (RIC) St. John Lutheran (RIC) Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Pittsburgh First Unitarian (WEL) Sixth Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew Lutheran (RIC) Upper Darby Christ Lutheran (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) Providence Mathewson Street UMC (RC) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Chattanooga Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU Church (WEL) St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) College Station Friends Congregational (ONA) Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) El Paso St. Timothy Lutheran (RIC) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Faith Covenant (ML) Grace Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) San Antonio Spirit of Life (RIC) UTAH Salt Lake City Mount Tabor Lutheran (RIC) South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Clarendon Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Church (WEL) Charlottesville Sojourners UCC (ONA) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) Roanoke Unitarian Universalist (WEL) WASHINGTON Bellevue Eastgate Congregational UCC (ONA) First Congregational, UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Carnation Tolt Congregational, UCC (ONA) Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) Edmonds Edmonds UU (WEL) Ellensburg First UMC (RC) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Fauntleroy UCC (ONA) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Magnolia UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) University Temple UMC (RC) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Congregational (ONA) Vancouver East Vancouver UMC (RC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Delavan Delavan UMC (RC) Eau Claire Ecum. Relig. Ctr./Univ. Lutheran (RIC) Madison Advent Lutheran (RIC) Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) James Reeb UU Congregation (WEL) Lake Edge Lutheran (RIC) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Cross Lutheran (RIC) Pentecost Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA ALBERTA Calgary South Calgary Inter-Mennonite (SCN) Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver First United Church (AC) Trinity United (AC) Unitarian Church (WEL) MANITOBA Winnipeg Augustine United (AC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Young United (AC) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Toronto Bathurst United (AC) Bloor Street United (AC) Glen Rhodes United (AC) Trinity-St. Paul’s United (AC) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) St. Thomas-Wesley United (AC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry LSC=Lutheran Student Center LSM=Lutheran Student Movement UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) UCM, UC, Riverside (RC) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Berkeley (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA, Los Angeles (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS Agape House, Univ. Of Illinois, Chicago (RC) Ill. Disciples Fdn., UI, Champaign (O&A) UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) Stud. Cong., Luther Coll., Decorah (RIC) KANSAS LCM, KSU, Manhattan (RIC) United Methodist CM, UK, Lawrence (RC) KENTUCKY Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (ML Chapter) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A) Wesley Fdn., Central Mich. Univ., Mt. Pleasant (RC) Wesley Fdn., Univ. Of Michigan, Ann Arbor (RC) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) LCM, SCS, St. Cloud (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA Christ Chapel, Gettysburg College, Gettysburg (RIC) LSC-LCM, Kutztown U, Kutztown (RIC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) VIRGINIA Campus Christian Community, MWC, Fredericksburg (RC, RIC) WASHINGTON LCM, WU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) UM Fellowship, UPS, Puget Sound (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, UW, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) Wesley Fdn., Univ. Of Wisconsin, Madison (RC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN LSC, LSM, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire New York Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Oregon-Idaho Troy Wisconsin Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Synods, ELCA (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania NATIONAL MINISTRIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) Gen’l Commission on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ___ From One Womb at One Table (Fall 1997) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 13 No 3 - We’re Welcoming – Now What? https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/dab7b60a2387ed1e75309e90ed37fc7c.pdf 873e05107443ebc3c758eb142f9fe46f Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 13 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1998 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 13 No. 4 Spring 1998 2 Open Hands Vol. 13 No. 4 Spring 1998 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciling in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These six programs—along with Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)—offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1998 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 Printed on recycled paper. TREASURE IN EARTHEN VESSELS An Exploration of Sexual Ethics Outlaws and “Inlaws” 4 CHRIS GLASER Ethics is an “inside” job, especially among outcasts. Sex in Church - Can We Talk? 5 JOHN SPRINGL Isn’t even church a sanctuary from sex? Myth, Mystery, and Human Sexuality 6 JOHN BALLEW Cutting off its sacred import spites our sexuality. Getting Sexuality in Perspective Cross Cultural Comparisons 8 STEPHANIE S. SPENCER More multiple choice than either/or. Sexual Ethics in an Overpopulated World Pollution, Purity, Property, and Procreation 10 CAROL ROBB The marriage of economic and sexual ethics. Blessed and Challenged by Jesus Where We Get the Chutzpah to Do Our Own Ethics 14 THOMAS C. ZIEGERT A Biblical basis for a gay-positive sexual ethic. A Sexual Ethic of ‘Least Harm’ 15 MARIE FORTUNE Revising our understanding of what constitutes sexual sin. Call for Articles for Open Hands Winter 1999 Why Be Specific in Our Welcome? Theme Section: Next year’s winter issue will address the question of why welcoming congregations have a particular focus on g/l/b/t and their families. What is the need? What is the hope? Ministries Section: We are seeking articles describing practical experience and suggestions in the following areas: Welcoming Committees, Connections (with other justice concerns), Worship, Outreach, Leadership, Youth, Campus, Children. These brief articles may or may not have to do with the theme. Contact with idea by August 1 Manuscript deadline: October 15 Chris Glaser, Phone/Fax 404/622-4222 or ChrsGlaser@aol.com We welcome the Open & Affirming Ministries as a full ecumenical partner of Open Hands. Spring 1998 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Interim Editor Chris Glaser Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 www.rcp.org Allen V. Harris Open & Affirming Minstries (Disciples) 1010 Park Avenue New York, NY 10028 http://pilot.msu.edu/user/ laceyj/ Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 www.coalition.simplenet.com Bob Gibeling Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 www.lcna.org Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 http://www.mlcn.org Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 http://users.aol.com/ wabaptists Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Margarita Suaréz, ONA Stuart Wright, RIC RCP Movement News ..................................... 30 Welcoming Communities ....................... 30 Selected Resources .................................. 32 Next Issue: BISEXUALITY What Makes ‘Good Sex’ Good? Developing a Gay-Positive Sex Ethic 18 MARVIN M. ELLISON Creating an ethic that embraces rather than singles out sexuality. A Sexual Desiderata 20 JIM WOLFE “There can be too little but never too much love.” Sexual Ethics Without Religion 21 DANIEL A. HELMINIAK A sexual ethic for a new and secular millennium. Giving a Future to a Present Love 23 MARGARET A. FARLEY Why love prompts commitment. MINISTRIES Worship Signs of God - Making Banners in Worship 24 JAN GRAVES Outreach Why March in Gay Pride? Just Peace! 24 CHARLES A. WOLFE Connections An Open Letter from African-American Clergy and Laity 25 NATIONAL BLACK PRESBYTERIAN CAUCAS Children For the Sake of Children Like Me 26 SOL KELLEY-JONES Campus A Work of God 27 BROOKE ROLSTON Leadership The Trial of Jimmy Creech 28 MARK BOWMAN SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Prayers of the Body 29 NANCY A. HARDESTY, MELINDA MCLAIN, DOUGLAS SAYLOR, ALEXA SMITH, TIM TYNER 4 Open Hands Treasure in Earthen Vessels may describe not only our spirituality, as in 1 Corinthians 4:7, but our sexuality as well. The image affirms the rich resource that our God-given sexuality is. In times past, it has been an embarrassment of riches; that is, something not to be spoken of publicly. But, as Jesus once said of the gospel, what is spoken in whispers will be shouted from rooftops. What is most private and personal— sexual union— is celebrated in the most public and holy way with family and friends in church: a wedding. Jesus himself adds to our merriment by turning water to wine, just as the sensual god Dionysus was said to have done in the temples of his cult on the very day when the Christian calendar remembers Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana. The movement in theological circles of late has been to reclaim our bodies as good and as capable of revealing the sacred. God shaped our bodies and redeemed them in the body and Body of Christ, in whom our bodies have been reclaimed to do as Christ would do, and in whom our bodies will be resurrected. Body theologians have reminded us that agape and eros are not at odds; rather, to divorce them is at the peril of a disembodied spirituality or a despiritualized sexuality. Both sexuality and spirituality drink from the same well: eros, that passion for union with another, whether with God in prayermaking or with the beloved in lovemaking. But, since we have this treasure in earthen vessels— vulnerable, fragile, fallible—eros must dance with agape, that benevolent love that, for the follower of Jesus, wishes the best for the other. The pages of Open Hands have focused on sexuality before. It seems especially timely now. First, in the chronology of the magazine. Our last issue dealt with “Now That We’re Welcoming— Now What?” One of those “whats” is that all of us— straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual— may reflect on sexual ethics together. We who are lesbian and gay, who have often fulfilled our calling of reminding the church to deal honestly with its sexuality, have much to offer our congregations in this dialogue. And heterosexuals have much to offer us from their experience. In that conversation, bisexual people offer unique insights and challenges; and so, our next issue will focus on bisexuality. Second, the issue of sexual ethics is timely given the current national dialogue on everything from gay marriage to sex in the workplace. A twice-divorced and thrice-married representative in Congress (alas, from Georgia) introduces the “Defense of Marriage Act” into Congress which a President accused of sexual infidelity signs into law. Does it make heterosexual marriage more binding? No, it rejects the legal rights of gay people to marry! Meanwhile, growing awareness of sexual harassment in the workplace and sexual misconduct by helping professionals reveals a host of victims, requiring therapeutic care, costly litigation, and stricter regulations that have the unfortunate byproduct of sending a chill throughout human interactions. Finally, sexual ethics is being discussed as never before in the gay community. With some bemusement I witness the debate among gay male writers that sets Michelangelo Signorelli and Gabriel Rotello (who argue that the days are over for “anything goes”) over against Eric Rofes and the group Sex Panic! (who resist sexual regulations as sex-negative). Though this conversation is seen as something new, we in the gay religious community have been having this dialogue for decades! And the lesbian community, religious or not, has long voiced concern about ethical sexuality, probably growing out of women’s experience as the usual victims (along with children) of sexual misbehavior and abuse. John Rechy’s famous 1977 book, The Sexual Outlaw, named the experience of many of us who came out years ago. We were sexual outlaws simply because of who we were. We were not welcome to participate as equals in the dialogue on sexual ethics in mainstream culture, let alone the church. We had to find our own “in-laws,” that is our own sense of a spiritual/sexual center that stayed us in our sexual relationships, our own sexual guidelines. We made mistakes along the way, but we also made startling discoveries about the sacred nature of human sexuality. Many of us bought into the church’s duality that segregated sexuality and spirituality and felt compelled to make a choice between our sexuality and the church. Those of us who didn’t and remained within the church found ourselves spiritually abused even for our most ethically correct choices. Small wonder, then, that we might resist when the church begins discussing our sexual ethics. The Welcoming Congregations movement may be the only place where straight and gay and lesbian and bisexual Christians may dialogue about human sexuality as equals. Dialogue comes from words meaning “through the word” and connotes finding common ground—shared meaning and purpose. When it comes to either sexuality or spirituality, too often we end up in a discussion, a term derived from words that mean “breaking things up” and connotes analysis, having a polarizing effect. Instead, a dialogue on sexual ethics may bring us together on common ground upon which to build a shared approach to human sexuality. What follows may further that dialogue. ▼ Chris Glaser, Interim Editor Atlanta, Georgia OUTLAWS AND “INLAWS” Spring 1998 5 A parishioner bounced into church one Sunday saying that she was happy to be there because church was the only place where no one talked about sex. How tragic and how often this is true! We have come to expect the church to speak volumes on “spiritual” matters and to remain silent about issues of human sexuality, as though to be spiritual is to be sexless. The reality is that people who are whole are wholly sexual and wholly spiritual. Spirituality and sexuality are very close to the heart of human life. They are so deeply intertwined, I don’t think we can separate them completely, for they both have a common denominator of love— pure, unadulterated love, and they are means of learning to live out our lives in love. I believe that the highest form of responding to God’s love is to fully embrace our sexual nature and our spiritual nature. The attitude that spirituality is pulpit material and sexuality is a private matter is not helpful to our era. When something is viewed solely as private, to the point of secrecy, we may resist God’s desire to enter into that aspect of our lives to bless us, and thus we may become laden with guilt and doubts. So uncomfortable we become talking of our sexuality that we mask our sexual fears and doubts with general questions like: “Does God love me?” “Does God love me as I really am?” “Does God understand the real me?” “Do you think I’m a good person? I don’t think you would if you really knew me.” That people mask important concerns about their sexuality in such oblique ways tells me that thinking of sex as a private, secret matter is not helpful. God loves us emphatically, and there should be no doubt of this! I think we would be happier and more confident as Christians if we considered sexuality a personal and yet public matter for dialogue. If we can talk about it with one another, then talking about it with God seems more possible: after all, where two or three are gathered in dialogue or prayer, God is surely present. Sexuality is personal because it is integral to who I am as a person. I cannot live life apart from my sexuality. It has been a part of me since I was born and will be part of my life until I die. It is not my total being, but it molds and shapes me, energizes and enlivens me. Sexuality is public because what I do with my sexuality affects others. If I have children, which are the results of my sexuality, they will attend schools funded by taxes from those who may not have children themselves. If I have unsafe sex that leads to a sexually transmitted disease, I will rely on health insurance or public health programs for medical care that others have supported through premiums or taxes. Sexual ethics begins with personal acceptance of our sexuality and public dialogue about how we integrate sexuality into our lives. Just as we begin our faith journey by accepting our spirituality and dialoguing with others about its relationship to the whole of life, so we should have opportunities to dialogue with others about how sexuality relates to the whole of life. In our faith tradition, part of that dialogue is with members of our spiritual community in the Bible. The Creation stories in Genesis 1 and 2 affirm the goodness of human sexuality and of us, created in the image of God for intimate communion with one another and with God. Our very maleness and femaleness are reflections of God’s self. The goodness of our sexual passion is eloquently lifted up in The Song of Solomon. The loyalty of Ruth and Naomi and the fidelity of David and Jonathan demonstrate the growth of healthy relationships. The stories of Vashti and Tamar are windows to understanding sexual exploitation. The story of the Ethiopian eunuch proclaims God’s open arms to those whom society excludes for sexual reasons. The stories of Jesus and the woman accused of adultery and the woman at the well married five times demonstrate the compassion of God in regard to human sexuality. We need to be clear about the goodness of human sexuality because negative images of sex have dominated the church’s recent history, making people uncomfortable with themselves. Of course, with every good gift of God come challenges and responsibilities. The Bible’s cautionary wisdom is helpful. Breaking our promises (adultery), desiring a person already in a committed relationship (coveting), and demeaning one’s self or another person (violence) are major ethical prohibitions offered in scripture. As we proceed in our sexual journeys, we become aware of who and what completes us, and this helps us find a complementary companion. For most people, it is just this exploration and curiosity which lead us to self-understanding and maturity in developing future lasting relationships. We are often hard on ourselves at this stage of growth. It is well to remember that God is as gracious to us as we learn about our sexuality as God is when we learned to walk and talk. We need to be just as gracious to ourselves and others. God is a great Lover. God created us to be great lovers, too. We have been given the gifts of spirituality and sexuality with which to express love and discover fulfillment. As with everything God has created, God has called both gifts good. To the woman who felt relief that church was a sanctuary from sex, I had to say, “I think you’ve come to the right place. We have much to talk about!” ▼ John Springl (a pseudonym) is a United Methodist pastor. He lives with his wife and children in rural Pennsylvania. SEX IN CHURCH Can We Talk? John Springl God is as gracious to us as we learn about our sexuality as God is when we learned to walk and talk. We need to be just as gracious. 6 Open Hands We live in a century in which myth has come to mean falsehood, and science reigns supreme. Science itself has become the myth from which our society gains its self-understanding. Where once the moon and stars were the subject of poets, philosophers and theologians, now they are destinations for our surveying teams. Within the next few years, the Human Genome Project will complete the mapping of all human DNA. Yet with all of our scientific knowledge, how much better do we actually grasp the mystery of life? In a culture that seems to grow coarser every year, there is little evidence that demythologizing the world has resulted in greater meaning being extended into daily life. Often the opposite seems true. Something parallel has happened with human sexuality. During the past century or so, sexuality has increasingly become an object of scientific— specifically, medical— study. Sexuality is reduced to behaviors to be categorized, and love is investigated by endocrinologists studying hormone levels. In our clinical view of life, sexuality has become a matter about which we increasingly consult experts to expand our skill at performing or to identify our reasons for feeling unfulfilled. Sexuality seems to have become just another product or advertising device. It is not surprising that we experience sexuality itself as increasingly degraded. When everything becomes a subject of scientific knowing, the mystery of life becomes a challenge to be mastered rather than a wonder to be contemplated. And sexuality seems less at home in our churches than in movie theaters and mouthwash ads. In times like these, it is important to understand that this is not the way humans have always experienced our sexuality. In 1989, when I began serving on the (ill-fated) Evangelical Lutheran Church Task Force on Human Sexuality, an early speaker addressing the panel noted that it was ironic that sex was so painful for Christians to deal with because for us “sex is not sacred.” He meant, I gathered, that as opposed to other spiritual traditions in which sex was connected with the Divine, for Christians sex was not a matter of salvation. How true is this? Ancient people in agricultural societies seemed to grasp the power and mystery of sexuality. Life was understood to be inherently fragile and uncertain. Humankind was surrounded by forces invisible and poorly understood. In this context, intercourse with the divine through ritual sex (the cult of Baal in ancient Canaan, for instance) became a way of assuring fertility, harmony and wholeness.1 In the East, particularly in Tantric (“Body”) traditions, the divine was seen as polarized between female and male, shakti and shiva. Maithuna rituals involving sexual union between the participants were seen as a “holy right of obligation.” In making love, the human couple became participants in the divine. The joining of male and female sexual energies together is a manifestation of divine unity. This experience of sexual power was seen as transformative. Tantra has on occasion been referred to as the “lightening path to enlightenment” because of the manner in which it harnesses this creative and generative energy. Mythologies in classical Mediterranean Europe also sought to explore the sacredness of sexuality and love. Interestingly, most of the Greek and Roman deities of the ages— Dionysus (Bacchus in Roman literature), Venus (Aphrodite in Rome), Amor (Latin word for love and used as a synonym for Cupid, the Roman Eros)— can be understood as androgynous. 2 Dionysus was not a traditional fertility god, but rather the avatar of arousal, frenzy and ecstasy. According to some mythic traditions, he was pursued by women whom he had cursed and was torn to bits by them. It is here that we find a close association between eros and thanatos, between sexual ecstasy and death.3 Judaism was the first of the Canaanite religions to eschew a sexual god. In differentiating itself and evolving its own unique identity, ritual sex and the sacred marriage rights of other religions were forbidden— although these rites evidently maintained a hold of sorts on the people, to the vexation of Moses. Still, sexuality and spirituality remained in close connection, such as abstinence during menstrual periods and rituals like bathing that may be understood as emphasizing the holiness of the sexual union which would follow.4 Early Christianity broke from this tradition. Evolving as it did in the Greek world, it found itself reacting to the Dionysian ecstasy. The opposite world view—identified with the god Apollo— emphasized self-mastery instead of ecstasy. This apollonian view exalted the spirit and stressed mortification of all flesh. Augustine, most influential of the early church leaders, was fascinated by the mind and by the need for purity, seeing sex as inherently polluted. Though some medieval Christian writings, especially by women religious, witnessed body and soul inextricably woven together and celebrated the sensual, describing God and even Jesus in male and female imagery, the Reformers viewed the body in opposition to spiritual purity and masculinized God.5 The Christian understanding/myth of the incarnation of Jesus has always been a puzzle when it came to understanding the relationship of body and spirit. One obvious implication—that Jesus was a sexual being—has been especially vexing. Docetism (the belief that Jesus had only the appearance of a human body) was both the first heresy and the most common to face the church. Other theologies evolved (the virgin birth, the immaculate conception of Mary) which further reinforced the wall of separation between the sacred and the sexual. Yet, returning to the biblical story itself, one is confronted with a Savior who permitted physical intimacy with the beloved disciple at the Last Supper as well as an outcast woman who sensually bathed his feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, AND SEXUALITY MYTH, MYSTERY John R. Ballew HUMAN Spring 1998 7 and kissed them with her lips. Though descended from a nonmarried Founder who defended sexual outcasts and eunuchs and rejected divorce, modern Christian theology has evolved a biased sexual ethic that allows heterosexual marriage alone while permitting heterosexual divorce! I call it sacred heterosexuality. To lesbian and gay Christians, it can seem to be the great organizing principle of contemporary Christendom, as we witness the very unity of our denominations, as well as that of the National Council of Churches (U.S.), dependent upon agreement on this point. Gay sexuality is not only theologically important, it has frequently seemed to be the Church’s overriding obsession. Gay women and men find our intimate sexual relationships described as unholy, unchaste, “intrinsically disordered,” not because of how these relationships find expression, but by virtue of the gender of the partners. Sacred heterosexuality cultists demand strict adherence. Lutheran pastors have been defrocked for daring to love outside of the bounds of heterosexuality; United Methodist and Episcopalian clergy have been put on trial for heresy for blessing same-sex unions; and Presbyterians have recently reaffirmed that only married heterosexuals and celibates have a vocation within their church. This view ordains majority secular and ecclesiastical authority as identical with divine intention. Carter Heyward identifies this heterosexist world view as “sacred contempt” for both women and for gay folk.6 Our world has suffered from the diminishing of a mythological cosmology in which the actions of humankind are seen as part of a larger context. We live in a largely secularized world. While some may welcome “liberation” from ancient forms, the contemporary world in many ways has suffered from the resulting mix of too much information and too little meaning. This is particularly evident in human sexuality and relationships, where the result is often harsh and coarse. What is called for is “re-sacralizing” creation and returning to a sense of wonder and creativity.7 Resacralizing sexuality, in this sense, could offer us a way out of our obsessive need to break the world down into smaller, more easily understood, parts. Instead of obsessing about ear differences between lesbians and heterosexual women and hypothalamus sizes between gay men and straight men, we could simply stand before one another as awesome mysteries of creation. In Care of the Soul, Thomas Moore claims that attempting to understand sexuality primarily through scientific means is destructive to the soul-building power of love.8 Love requires mystery. Contemporary North American Christians resist such counsel. Christians have it within our ability to liberate sexuality from the scientific laboratory and resacralize it, to reunite sexuality with both the mystery of creation and the divinity of all love. The mythological import of a sexuality created for at-one-ment between two human beings and of a spirituality intended to bring at-one-ment between the divine and the human could heal the brokenness not only of Christ’s body but of our own. ▼ John Ballew, M.S., L.P.C., is a professional counselor and massage therapist in private practice in Atlanta. A Lutheran layperson, he is a member of the American Counseling Association and, he notes with some irony, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. He can be reached by email at jballew@mindspring.com. Notes 1 Karen Armstrong, A History of God. (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1994), 11. 2Michael Jordan, An Encyclopedia of Gods. (New York: Facts on File, Inc., 1993), 67. 3Georg Feuerstein, Sacred Sexuality. (Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1992), 84-85. 4Armstrong, 77. 5James B. Nelson, The Intimate Connection (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1988), 23-4. 6Carter Heyward, Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God. (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989), 61 ff. 7Matthew Fox, Creation Spirituality. (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991), 90. 8Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul. (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1992), 82. Ads 8 Open Hands I grew up living in five different countries, and moving so often gave me two basic perspectives on life: people are not the same everywhere, and my way of life is not the only and best possible lifestyle. As an American in the Middle East and in South America, I was a member of a minority in terms of language, skin color, economic status, and place of origin. As a diplomat’s child in the United States, other children thought I was weird when my stories of growing up began, “When we lived in Peru…” From these experiences I learned that I needed to listen first and to learn about others if I was going to fit in and make friends. These lessons (people are different; I am not always right) have served me well in studying cultural anthropology, and I have turned my lifelong experience bridging cultures into a professional pursuit. These life lessons also served me well when I came out as a lesbian, because I accepted that people are different everywhere and that being a lesbian is just another way to be in the world. Not just my personal experience, but one hundred years of research in cultural anthropology illustrate that there is a great variety of sexual behavior, gender identity, and emotional relationships among the world’s peoples. The anthropological perspective is akin to the American Indian proverb that to know another wholly one must walk a mile in her moccasins. Anthropologists try to live in others’ houses, eat their food, speak as they speak, become members of their families, and spend time on what they think is important. The ultimate goal of anthropology is twofold: to fully understand and appreciate experience in different human communities, and to see ourselves and our own lives in relationship to the whole of humanity as one variation on the great themes of human existence: relationships to the divine, relationships to other persons, what gives life meaning, what are worthwhile ways to spend our time, and where we find joy, comfort, and hope. In the past thirty years anthropologists have focused more research on the full cross-cultural expression of personal identity, including gender identity, sexual orientation, same-sex emotional relationships, and heterosexual experience outside of the behavior which produces children. The following illustrations from recent research offer us perspective on our own limited understanding of human sexuality. Other cultures’ experience may help l/ g/b/t people in America feel less isolated, as well as challenge people who happen to fit into the American sexual mainstream to see their feelings of “normality” as based in our particular culture, not in some universally-experienced human nature. Two Native American Cultures Because Native American religions place considerable emphasis on the belief that everything that exists comes from the spirit world, if a person varies from the average person then that implies that the spirits must have paid particular attention to making that person the way he or she is. It follows, therefore, that such a person would have an especially close connection to the spirit world. Accordingly, two-spirit persons are often viewed as sacred people, spiritually gifted individuals who can aid others with their spiritual needs. In many tribes, such persons are often shamans or sacred people who work closely with shamans.1 The Kaska Indians of Canada and the Mojave Indians of the United States both have socially valued roles for persons who feel themselves and are recognized by others to act differently from the usual behaviors for women and men in these societies. These persons see themselves and are viewed as having both female and male spirits, and in both cultures these persons are encouraged to assume alternative gender roles and thus find culturally appropriate ways to contribute to the welfare of their families and societies.2 Among the Kaska, hunter-gatherers in the subarctic, hunting is a main source of food, and usually only men hunt. However, some women are interested in masculine tasks, and in a nuclear family with no sons, these women especially are encouraged to learn to hunt. The parents perform a ceremony to transform this daughter into a son. This girl then grows up to hunt with men, and to marry another woman. The wife, who follows a traditional female role, has children by a man that the two married women select, but the woman hunter is considered that child’s true father.3 Boys in Mojave culture also could name the identity of being two-spirited through a ceremony that their parents performed, in which a child could express his desires to become a transvestite. The anthropologist Gilbert Herdt summarizes the meaning of this identity: The two spirit was the product of a long cultural history that involved myth and ceremonial initiation. The ceremonies were sacred and of such importance that their official charter was established in the origin myths of the tribe, known from time immemorial…[ Even before birth] mothers had dreams that their sons would grow up to become two spirits. No doubt this spiritual sign helped to lend religious support for the ceremony. At any rate these signs of gender change [refusing male toys and tasks] were said by the Mojave to express the “true” intentions of the child to change into a manwoman… Clearly, the child was beginning to act on desires that transgressed his role and required GETTING SEXUALITY IN PERSPECTIVE CROSS-CULTURAL COMPARISONS Stephanie S. Spencer Spring 1998 9 an adjustment, through ritual, to a new kind of being and social status in the culture.4 Tahiti In Tahitian culture, there also is a culturally recognized role for men who desire to take on the tasks and appearance of women. A mahu is considered created by God and involves the adoption of a gender identity which is distinct from being either a man or a woman. Even from an early age a boy’s interest in wearing women’s clothes and doing women’s work shows that he is a mahu. The mahu, however, are not the only men in the culture who have sexual interest in other men. According to interviews with both mahu and non-mahu men, men whose gender identity is exclusively male and who marry women also have sexual relationships with mahu. In addition, unlike the two-spirit women in the Kaska example, mahu in Tahiti do not marry someone of the same sex.5 Although there is a social category for men who cross-dress, and have public identities as mahu, there is not such a category for women in Tahiti. However, there is evidence from interviews with Tahitians of frequent sexual relationships between women, while these women usually also have relationships with men.6 Africa and New Guinea Further examples of variations in gender and sexual identity come from Lesotho, in southern Africa, and from the Sambia culture in New Guinea. In both of these societies, there are no “third-gender” roles, but sexual relationships with members of the same gender are seen as normal and necessary parts of growing up to be full adults. In both of these cultures, age is a very important aspect of social status, and relationships between people of different age groups is an important way to learn appropriate gender roles while young. In contemporary Lesotho, women have “romantic and sexual friendships [with each other, which] seemed to model the kind of courting and, later, marital relations the women might find with men. The women referred to each other with the English terms mummies (older) and babies (younger), a form of fictive kinship that ensured social support and cultural validation of desires and affections…The older woman took on the responsible role in the relationship, and she provided her younger partner with gifts and advice. The latter was important because it prepared the young girl for future relationships with men, most significantly her future husband….” 7 In parts of New Guinea, the New Hebrides and Australian aboriginal cultures, age also is important in social status, and, in some of these cultures, sexual relationships between mature men and adolescent boys is a necessary and culturally valued part of initiating boys to adult male status. These relationships do not occur between boys or men of the same age; this is inconceivable to men in the Sambia ethnic group, for example. And, as in Lesotho, these relationships end when mature men marry women, and become fathers, which are part of the definition of a normal adult man.8 In both of these cases, same-gender sexual relationships are culturally valued and accepted experiences that most or all people have as a normal part of growing up. In societies with these kinds of relationships, gender identity is not fluid, but sexual relationships are seen as naturally changing over an individual’s lifespan. Sexuality as Multiple Choice Rather Than Either/Or These examples reveal variation among cultures in aspects of human life which we tend to think of as inherent in being human or as rooted in biology, such as gender or sexual orientation. They further illustrate that the cultural connections between gender roles, sexual relationships, and religious beliefs vary in different societies. This leaves us with unanswered questions which nonetheless open us to the possibility of multiple answers rather than either-or responses. • If not everyone in every culture is considered to be either a man or a woman, then what are “normal” genders for human beings? • If most people in some cultures have heterosexual marriages, but also have same-sex relationships before or while they are married, are the categories heterosexual and homosexual relevant? • Why does our culture put such importance on determining which sexual orientation a person has? • Does sexual identity really change over a lifetime, or do people act on different sexual desires at different times in their lives? • Do you see yourself in these examples, or do you see others differently with these examples in mind? ▼ Stephanie S. Spencer (r.) is a cultural anthropologist, working on her Ph.D. from Boston University. She has conducted research on multicultural education in Boston- area schools and, most recently, in rural Java, Indonesia, for nineteen months, on junior high school students’ experiences of citizenship as members of a nation with over 200 ethnic groups. She also has worked with local community, school, and religious organizations to develop multicultural education programs. Stephanie makes her home in Cleveland with her partner, Arlene Nehring (l.). Notes 1Ritch C. Savin-Williams and Kenneth M. Cohen, eds., The Lives of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals, Children to Adults (Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt Brace, 1996), 418. 2Ibid. 3Ibid., 418-419. 4Gilbert Herdt, Same Sex, Different Cultures. Gays and Lesbians Across Cultures (Oxford: Westford Press, 1997), 124. 5Robert I. Levy, Tahitians. Mind and Experience in the Society Islands (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1973), 130-138. 6Ibid., 140-141. 7Herdt, 79-80. 8Ibid., 81-84. 10 Open Hands Most Christian sexual ethics, until some new voices began to be heard in the last 15 years, are at least latently procreationist. That is, sexuality is deemed moral when and only when it is expressed in relationships that are open to the possibility of procreation. If, as Christians, we know there are additional or more important criteria for “good sex,” we must address Scripture and tradition, attempting innovation in what it means to be faithful. And this will be tricky, because the Holiness Code is a major source of sexual ethics, some of which is supportable and some of which we have, I thank God, ignored. When Christians do social ethics, which includes sexual ethics, we have several authorities. Always we must attend to these: Scripture, tradition of the church, sciences, reason, and contemporary experience. There are no sharp lines between these authorities, because we appropriate one of them through the lenses offered by the others. Nevertheless sometimes they conflict, and when they do, we seek “emergent coherence” among these authorities. In seeking this emergent coherence, no one authority always trumps the others. The Holiness Code prohibits incest (Lev. 18), and also prohibits intercourse with a woman during her menstrual period. It prohibits sex with animals, and also “lying with a male as with a woman”—a prohibition against homosexual intercourse? It prohibits making one’s daughter a prostitute, but it also prohibits wearing a garment of cloth made of two kinds of stuff (Lev. 19). In order to do sexual ethics for contemporary Christians, many theologians have suggested it’s good to stay far away from the sexual ethics in the Bible, particularly the Holiness Code. The most biblical perspective on sexuality will come from texts in the Bible other than the ones on sexuality. Why? Because biblical sexual ethics in the Holiness Code is controlled by concerns about purity and protection of property. Purity is opposed to pollution, and the priests, the writers of the Holiness Code, played the role of declaring what was clean (pure), and what was unclean. The priestly writers (and priestly editors, designated “P” in biblical scholarship), the writers of the Holiness Code, were members of the ruling class. Their duties included being butchers of sacrifices, taboo specialists, artists, scribes, lawyers, judges, counselors, prophets, and warriors.1 An important function of the priests was to make sharp distinctions between the clean and the unclean. In making these distinctions, the priests defined social relations. People who were “unclean” were socially inferior to those who were “clean.” The priests used their right to distinguish what was holy or common to sanction their privileged access to meat. Only the best of the herd could be sacrificed at the altar, and, through the sacrifices of animals at the temple, priests gave themselves access to large quantities of good meat. This was an extraordinary privilege in the ancient Eastern Mediterranean, as it would be today. The entire ritual system—or pollution system, if you will— sanctioned the priests’ class privileges. In the Covenant with Abraham, P wrote the stipulation regarding circumcision and wrote in a role for the priests in directing the proper control of the discharge of blood. Priest-controlled blood discharge was deemed clean. Blood not controlled by the priests was unclean, as in murder or menstrual flow. Women’s normal menstrual flow and flow after childbearing marked them as unclean and therefore untouchable. Clearly, in a pollution system controlled by men women don’t fare very well. Nor do they do well when the concern is primarily to protect property, for in this patriarchal culture women as wives and as daughters were seen as property. Their social status mitigated their status as property, but the Patriarch was the owner of the whole household, including animals and servants. The purity code found in Torah probably reached its final form by the 5th century B.C.E., and to this day subtly influences our thinking regarding right and wrong. Pollution systems are one way religion institutionalizes injustice, in a sense, rendering it less visible and more palatable. At a very deep level, wealthy people are perceived by the whole society as deserving their wealth because they are clean. Poor people deserve their poverty because they are dirty. Purity codes organize and justify the unequal distribution of wealth and social prestige. Jesus of Nazareth tried to undo the purity code. For him sin was not to be unclean. Sin refers to the motivation to do someone harm. Christians are not bound by purity codes and in the secular society we don’t use the language of clean/unclean in our public debate about economics. But it is still very powerfully present in debates about certain controversial issues. If you listen carefully, you can hear concerns about pollution in debate about immigration policy (whether to let in the hordes of the unwashed); welfare reform (whether the society at large should support women who at some basic level are tainted); and rights for gay and lesbian people (whether gay and lesbian people can be Christian, and whether they can model the Christian life to their con- SEXUAL ETHICS IN AN OVERPOPULATED WORLD Pollution, Purity, Property, and Procreation Carol Robb Adapted from a presentation to the Restoring Creation Conference, Ghost Ranch Conference Center, Abiquiu, New Mexico, June 24-28, 1996. Spring 1998 11 gregations if ordained to the ministry of word and sacrament). These are economic matters. They are about who should have access to the social wealth. Purity codes continue to function and are deep in our social psyches. The four evangelists reject physical purity as a necessary condition for relationship to God. The concern for purity that remains in the Gospels relates to purity of intentions and motivations, concern for whether persons by their thoughts and actions intend harm or are motivated by care and compassion. Sexual acts are only rendered impure by the intent to harm.2 So the New Testament sexual code indicates all sexual acts may be genuinely wrong where they involve an offense against equality of women and men, or a substitution of sex for the reign of justice as the goal of human existence. Paul similarly used the term “uncleanness” as an equivalent for greed, referring to the private vice of lust and the social vice of wanting to have more than another or what rightfully belongs to another. But, like the writers of the Gospels, Paul refrained from identifying physical impurity with sin. Physical purity is not for Paul a prerequisite of salvation or of membership in the Christian community.3 As in economic ethics, sexual ethics should have these criteria: a) a vision of community, b) marked by protection of the vulnerable, c) sharing risks and benefits of life together, and d) human responsibility for the quality of economic relations as central to faithful living. This vision provides ethical criteria for us now, and it helps us to interpret the Bible and apply our interpretations. That is why I say what is authoritative for contemporary sexual ethics in the Holiness Code, or any other part of Scripture, are the portions that are motivated by a vision of how to share the risks and benefits of life together, how to ensure that people can always provide for themselves and their families. Bracket other portions of the Code that are motivated by a pollution system or assume that some persons are the property of others. Jesus of Nazareth pointed to this moral vision in the Mosaic Law, criticizing all the hierarchical relationships in the Mosaic Code, while at the same time teaching the leveling provisions of that Code. This is why women were drawn to the Jesus movement. Mark 5:24-34 tells the familiar story of such a woman who reached out to Jesus. The woman, who had had a flow of blood for twelve years, seems to have been alone in the crowd; we see no indication anyone was with her to support or protect her. We surmise she once had some finances, because they had been drained by physicians to no avail. She was unclean, by virtue of her flow of blood, and she touched a man (one called Rabbi, no less) who was clean.4 Yet Jesus, instead of claiming the privilege that was due him by the pollution system, stood in solidarity with the unclean woman. This story is an illustration of why women numbered plenty in the Jesus movement and in the early house churches. The egalitarianism of life in the Spirit had political and social implications for them. And now, even today, the egalitarianism of life in the Spirit has political and social implications for us. If we take into account every human being as well as every earthly creature, we must have concern for human impact on the earth’s life support systems. For the overdeveloped world, consumption and production patterns are the main way we are making earth’s life support systems fragile. Precisely because of the impact of human life in the industrialized world, population is a moral issue. In addition, fertility rates in the twothirds world is an issue for the ecology, though the dynamics there are also complicated by political and economic projects of elites. We must not fool ourselves that there is really no problem with the exponentially increasing human population. We must get our heads around the notion that the primary purpose of sexual relations is no longer reproduction. The primary purpose of sexual relations from this time forward is pleasure, pleasure within relationships of responsibility and mutuality.5 That makes sense because it’s mainly in the context of responsible and mutual relationships that sexual relationships are pleasurable. In a full world, responsibility means accountability for personal decisions about having children to others in our web of life. I believe the contemporary conservative obsession with matters pertaining to abortion and sexuality is a substitute for our deep concern about economic security. Ethicist Gerard Fourez finds an analogue in the nineteenth century’s Victorian focus on sexual ethics, while industrialization was depriving people of basic economic security. At a time such as this, an obsession with sex diverts attention to peripheral elements rather than the central one of a society’s structures and practices, making it possible to conceal problems these structures and practices have created.6 Today national boundaries are melting away in the face of treaties supporting the free flow of transnational corporate capital. These economic giants are rarely held accountable for the 12 Open Hands effects of their investment and disinvestment activities on peoples, land, air, and water—yet the Surgeon General of the United States was fired for acknowledging that masturbation, a way of learning about one’s own body and what gives it pleasure, should be discussed in sex education programs. This is clearly an era when major economic dislocation is occurring. But the churchgoing public’s attention has been diverted from these major economic developments onto issues related to sexuality. I’m aware that well-meaning people oppose the civil rights and vocational calls of sexual minorities on the grounds that these minority peoples threaten family stability. Mark my words. Families in the over-developed world as well as families in the sustainable and excluded worlds are threatened. But they are threatened by economic forces outside our control. When men don’t have access to reasonably-paying jobs, they don’t marry the women they get pregnant. Poor young women rationally calculate their chances of getting jobs with diplomas from their inner-city high schools, and decide they have more economic security getting public assistance than in the paid labor force. Men who can get no paying jobs in Mexico leave their families for work in el norte. The women they leave behind may well begin other relationships, as do the migrant workers. Mothers and fathers in Thailand sell their daughters into sexual slavery for the use of Japanese and German businessmen who like them young, to avoid HIV infection. Families all over the globe are threatened because their governments have made decisions to “develop” their economies in the image of north-Atlantic free markets. The threat to all these families is not gay and lesbian people, many of whom are trying to support their own families. The threat is from economic players who are accountable only to their boards of directors. This is why sexual ethics are vacuous without the capacity of local communities to enforce their economic ethics. Our economics today must affect our sexual ethics in a different way than it did our biblical ancestors. Our sexual ethics must no longer view women as property, no longer allow elites to control what’s pure and impure, no longer require sexuality to always procreate to populate our world. Rather, our sexual ethics furthers economic justice by guiding our sexuality toward pleasure within relationships of mutuality and responsibility. Instead of a goal, procreation becomes a servant of our broader stewardship of the planet. ▼ Carol S. Robb is the Margaret S. Dollar Professor of Christian Social Ethics at San Francisco Theological Seminary and at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley. Her most recent book, Equal Value: An Ethical Approach to Economics and Sex (Beacon Press, 1995), brings together sexual and economic ethics. Notes 1Robert E. Coote and David Robert Ord, In the Beginning: Creation and the Priestly History (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1991), 31. 2William Countryman, Dirt, Greed, and Sex—Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications For Today (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1988). 3Ibid. 4I am indebted to Mary Foskett for this interpretation of the Mark passage, shared during a lecture at San Francisco Theological Seminary in February, 1996. 5For a full theological and theoretical exposition of this thesis see Christine Gudorf, Body, Sex, and Pleasure (Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1994). 6Gerard Fourez, Liberation Ethics (Philadelphia: Temple University, 1982), 111. AD Spring 1998 13 14 Open Hands In a sense, ethics is the defining logic by which we make our moral decisions. Our ethics usually come by way of culture and tradition based on heterosexual- centric values. Thus sexual minorities (g/l/b/t and celibates) are unincorporated. We have had to forge our own models of ethics and morality. What empowers us to develop and maintain with authority an ethical standard for our own lives? With religion opting out of this discussion (insisting on abstinence rather than dialogue), the responsibility has been relegated to us as individuals. Like many Christians, I look to the Bible for empowerment and authority, particularly the Christian Testament. Two texts from Matthew empower me to construct my ethical praxis from Jesus Christ. Matthew 19:11-12 The phrases “for there are eunuchs who have been so from birth” and “let anyone except this who can” taken in the greater context of the Gospel of Matthew let me know that Jesus has spoken particularly of gays and lesbians. Not only that, but he has blessed us and offers us our way to heaven.1 This is done by interpreting this saying of Jesus in light of Isaiah 56:4-5, “For thus says the Lord: To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give, in my house and within my walls, a monument and a name better than sons and daughters.” As I examined the Greek meaning of the word translated as eunuch in the Christian Testament, I discovered, from sources as varied as works by Aristophanes2 (circa 400 B.C.E.) and an exegesis of the Matthew text by the followers of Basilides3 (circa 100 CE), that they understood the word as a euphemism for people associated with samegender sexual relations as well as nonpropagating persons. Other examples can be cited as well.4 The point is that Jesus did refer to sexual minorities, not just generally, but those who expressed themselves through same-gender sexual relations, and Jesus honored them. Matthew 8:5-13 In this text, a Centurion comes to Jesus asking that he cure his pais. Heterosexual- centric translations are misleading. A more accurate understanding of pais is “adopted son or brother” or “inheritor of my property.” The relationship becomes clearer when we look at Luke and John. In Luke’s gospel (7:1- 10), the object of the centurion’s concern is his dear, or honored, servant. It is misleading to call him the master’s highly valued servant. It makes the centurion seem to be a slaver whom Jesus honors. In John’s gospel (4:46-53), he is called the royal official’s son. With the additional knowledge, gained by John Boswell’s research, that Roman men of prestige adopted males whom they loved and counted as their mates for the purpose of sharing their property, 5 we can see the true relationship between the centurion and his adopted son. (There is not necessarily an age difference implied by the adoption.) The added perspectives of Luke and John may lead us to the conclusion that the adopted son in Matthew was once the centurion’s servant whom he now loves as his partner, and whom he has virtually married for love. Conclusion Empowerment is the first step toward responsible living. The ministry of Jesus Christ was one of empowering the disfranchised, including sexual minorities, such as women and non-propagating persons. What do we do with that knowledge? I make the next step by looking for the guidance Jesus would give those who now know we are blessed: oppress no one. Our relationships should be mutual, communal, egalitarian, and supportive. Relationships with other human beings are to be ends in themselves, not means to an end. Relationships are to be based on love and its healing nature. This requires a balanced life: balanced in our use of resources for our needs, healing our instinct for greed; balanced in our requirement for emotional support, healing our egocentrism; and balanced in our relationships, healing our instinct for power over others. Empowered as we are, we offer a prophetic voice from the margins of church and society. Until the church and society are able to see as we do, we must trust our own authority derived from our unique insights into Christ’s gospel, bearing witness to that light in our words and deeds. In the biblical tradition, the marginalized and disfranchised often find themselves closer to the understanding of God’s truth as the keepers of the flame of righteousness. ▼ Thomas Ziegert is an M.Div. student at the Claremont School of Theology and a “bidenominational” candidate for ministry in both the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and United Methodist Church. A member of United University Church in Los Angeles, he serves as Coordinator of Affirmation Los Angeles. He is presently working on Eunoeo Theology, a theology of well-being from a gay perspective. Notes 1I work out the details in my paper “For there are eunuchs...an exegesis.” It is unpublished but you can request it free by e-mail from me at TZdla@aol.com 2See Aristophones: “The Acharnians,” “The Wasps,” and “The Knights.” 3John Ernest Leonard Oulton & Henry Chadwick (translators), Alexandrian Christianity, Vol.2, (Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1954) p.40. 4See G.W.H. Lampe, A Patristic Greek Lexicon, (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1961) p.572, under eunuchos. 5John Boswell, Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (New York: Villard Books, 1994), 98- 99. BLESSED AND CHALLENGED BY JESUS Where We Get the Chutzpah to Do Our Own Ethics Thomas C. Ziegert Spring 1998 15 A SEXUAL ETHIC OF ‘LEAST HARM’ Marie Fortune With the publication of Sexual Violence: The Unmentionable Sin (1983), I suggested that Christian sexual ethics would be very different if we took the reality of sexual violence seriously. I am even more convinced of this assertion today. Traditional sexual ethics have been shaped by patriarchal values which emphasize male property rights and attempt simple answers and directives to increasingly complex problems. A process of discernment based on non-patriarchal values, such as justice, respect, bodily integrity, consent, reciprocity, and fidelity, requires daily effort in an intimate relationship and can reward us with integrity, authentic intimacy, and the eroticization of equality. What Is Sexual Sin? Traditional Christian sexual ethics rest primarily on the prohibition of sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage. Such ethics are patriarchal in nature because this prohibition in the Bible was intended to protect male property rights, control women’s sexuality, and insure the paternity of offspring. I believe this confuses the true nature of sexual sin. It is time to shift the concept of sexual sin to that of sexual violence. Sexual ethics then becomes a different enterprise. Adultery, Marriage, and Homosexuality There have been three primary stands in traditional Christian sexual ethics: condemnation of adultery, heterosexual marriage as normative, and opposition to homosexuality. All appear to arise from a concern for the integrity of heterosexual marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman. But this is not the case. The biblical teachings regarding adultery in Hebrew scripture focused on male property rights. The commandment to not commit adultery (Deuteronomy 5:18) forbade “sexual intercourse between a man and a married woman. The Hebrew male did not sin against his own marriage by his extramarital sexual activity; rather he sinned against the marriage of another Israelite [male]. Thus the commandment did not forbid a sexual liaison between an Israelite [male] and a woman taken in war or a prostitute.”1 There is little evidence of ethical concern for the well-being of the woman herself in marriage, “taken in war,” or as a prostitute. The passages in Deuteronomy (22:23-29) which supposedly dealt with the rape of women were also based on male property rights. The sexual assault of a woman is a property crime against her husband or father to whom she “belonged.” There is no recognition of the rights of women to be free from bodily harm nor any sense that the woman in these instances of rape is a victim. Her well-being is not the ethical issue. Adultery is not considered a violation of the relationship between the two sexual partners having to do with broken promises, deception, or faithlessness. Neither is rape considered a sin against the victim. Rather rules governing both adultery and rape emphasize safeguarding a male’s control over his property. The contemporary application of this narrow ethical approach supports the male prerogative of sexual access to women with no sanction except to avoid women who are clearly some other man’s property. The emphasis in Christian sexual ethics on heterosexual marriage as normative has rested on a concern for the public form of the interaction (i.e. are a man and woman legally married before they engage in genital sexual activity?) more than on the private quality of the interaction (how do they treat each other in the relationship?) The implication of this standard is that whatever occurs sexually within heterosexual marriage is morally acceptable and whatever occurs sexually outside this context is morally unacceptable. For example, if a man forces a woman to whom he is not married to perform fellatio on him, this is legally considered rape in most states in the U.S.; if he engages in the exact same behavior two weeks after a marriage certificate is signed, this is not legally considered rape in a number of states. Once again the absence of concern for women’s bodily integrity and choice within heterosexual marriage is startling. There is still little recognition of marital rape, the battering of women, or the denial of reproductive choice as sexual ethical issues. The primary sexual concern of organized Christian bodies in recent decades has been the standard of heterosexual marriage and prohibition of same-sex sexual contact. The United Methodist rule for its clergy summarizes this concern succinctly: “Fidelity in marriage and celibacy in singleness.” This supposed affirmation of marriage has in fact been a cover for the church’s homophobic obsession with homosexuality, particularly the question of whether lesbians and gay men should be ordained. Many denominations in the United States have spent thousands of dollars and many hours debating, studying, reporting, and voting on these issues. The Sexual Confusion The reliance on patriarchal values (primarily male control of property) as the foundation of sexual ethics has clouded the church’s understanding of these questions: What is the central ethical problem in sexual ethics? What is the fundamental violation? What is sexual sin? The persistent confusion about these questions has distorted most efforts to provide useful guidance in sexual matters within our churches in recent years. Sexual ethics within many mainline denominations which permit sexual activity only in heterosexual marriage have been maintained alongside a conscious effort to ignore the reality of sexual violence. The disclosures by women and men of sexual abuse, rape, and sexual harassment have revealed the reality that the majority of church members have experienced some form of sexual abuse. The church all but ignored these disclosures (other than to respond pastorally to some indi16 Open Hands vidual victims) until allegations against clergy began to surface. The problem of sexual abuse by clergy in pastoral or supervisory relationships now appears to be widespread and to cross all denominational lines. As a result of this institutional crisis, the reality of sexual abuse is slowly being acknowledged. Some still see it as an administrative problem, but others are beginning to understand that it is the central ethical issue in sexual ethics. What has created this skewed sense of priorities where, for example, it has been more important to keep gays and lesbians out of ministry than it has been to remove clergy who are sexually abusing children and adults? The problem has been confusion about the nature of sexual sin. If sexual sin is understood as the violation of the precept that sexual activity should only take place within heterosexual marriage, then ethical questions about consent, bodily integrity, choice, power and vulnerability are never asked. If sexual sin is understood as the violation of the bodily integrity of another person through sexual coercion, abuse or assault, then questions about consent, bodily integrity, choice, power and vulnerability take center stage. Sexual Violence The sin of sexual violence is a violation of the victim her/ himself which causes physical and emotional harm. Why is it unethical to violate the sexual boundaries of another person? • Sexual violence is a violation of bodily integrity which denies a person the choice to determine her/his own boundaries and activities. • Sexual violence is a violation of personhood because it objectifies the other, making them a non-person. • Sexual violence creates a victim, that is, renders a person powerless by taking away her/his resources and sense of self. • Sexual violence distorts and misuses sexuality. • Sexual violence destroys trust and violates relationship. • Sexual violence destroys community because it creates an atmosphere of fear and distrust among family, friends, and acquaintances. In a relationship in which there is an inequality of power, like a relationship between parent and child, teacher and student, pastor and congregant, etc., there are additional dimensions to the violation: • Sexual violence violates the adult role vis a vis the child, which is to protect and provide for the child’s welfare. • Sexual violence misuses power and authority. • Sexual violence takes advantage of vulnerability. • Sexual violence denies authentic consent. In sum, sexual violence is a sin because it causes harm to another person and brings suffering which contradicts God’s purpose as stated by Jesus in John’s gospel: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). If we are to find our way out of our confusion about the nature of sexual sin, we need not begin with the question of, to use James Nelson’s phrase, the right organ in the right orifice with the right person (i.e. heterosexual marriage), but with a different question altogether. Paul brings together the teachings of Judaism and Christianity to focus an ethical mandate: Owe no one anything except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. (Romans 13:8-10 NRSV) If I am seeking to love another person, I can best begin by seeking not to do harm to that person or to myself. To do harm is to sin, to cause suffering and brokenness in our relationship as persons. This is where our Christian sexual ethics should begin. Asking the Right Questions If we take seriously the reality of sexual violence and the ethical questions which it presents, what would our sexual ethics look like? We would begin with Paul’s formulation: “Love does no wrong to a neighbor” and we would affirm the bodily integrity of self and partner and strive to insure that each person be free from bodily harm within an intimate relationship. Our sexual ethics would then address both personal and social dimensions. Four assumptions should support our discernment process: 1. Most people live in relationships of varying degrees of intimacy and most would prefer to do this with integrity. 2. Both women and men are moral agents and both possess the capacity and responsibility for ethical decision-making and action, though our perceptions of our options are likely to be shaped by our gender, race, sexual orientation, age, experiences, etc. 3. No particular gender or relational configuration is assumed. 4. Healthy intimate relationships are only possible in the open and in community. Secrecy encourages shame and isolation which make it very difficult to discern ethical choices. If doing least harm is our goal in relationship to others, what guidelines might assist us in doing least harm? Guidelines provide a short cut to decision-making. Once we have arrived at guidelines which reflect our original principle, we can refer to them quickly in our discernment process and more readily make our choices. The development of guidelines or parameters is an ongoing process and is best carried out in community so that we can test our own ideas against others’ experiences and concerns. But what is the difference between guidelines and rules? Rules are externally imposed requirements which may or may not have a reasonable basis. They sometimes represent the common concerns (or prejudices) of society. They may be necessary to sustain the common good and protect those who are vulnerable, for example marital rape laws, or they may be counterproductive, such as sodomy laws. But rules and laws Spring 1998 17 are not adequate to guide our actions as moral agents. Guidelines, rather, serve as an internal anchor which informs one’s decision-making. Ask yourself: 1. Is my choice of intimate partner a peer, i.e. someone whose power is relatively equal to mine? With this guideline, we recognize that power is always an issue in an intimate relationship and that when power is relatively equal we have the best opportunity to experience authentic consent and choice in a relationship. If there are differences in power due to physical realities such as size or socially constructed realities such as gender, then it is wise to consciously consider how to minimize the impact of those differences on a relationship. For example, a couple can discuss ways they want to relate so that one person’s physical size and strength will not be used to in any way intimidate the partner. This might mean agreeing to remain seated during heated or conflictual discussions so that the larger person does not loom over the smaller person. We will certainly experience sexual feelings towards persons who have significantly more power than we or significantly less power than we, but whether we pursue those feelings is always a choice. Pursuing such a relationship means that we run a high risk of either being taken advantage of (where we have less power, as a client vis a vis a therapist) or of taking advantage of the other person’s vulnerability (where we have more power, as a doctor vis a vis a patient). The possibility of harm is great in either case. 2. Are both my partner and I authentically consenting to our sexual interaction? Both of us must have information, awareness, equal power and the option to say “no” without being punished as well as the option to say “yes.” Consent should never be confused with submitting, going along, or acquiescing. Consent is an alien concept to persons whose life experience has been that sex is something someone does to them— in other words, they feel that they have never had any say in the matter. In sexual interaction, authentic consent requires communication and agreement that “no” means no, “yes” means yes and “maybe” means maybe. “No” will not be punished by withdrawal or more overt coercive tactics. “Maybe” requires waiting for “yes,” not cajoling and pushing. 3. Do I take responsibility for protecting myself and my partner against sexually transmitted diseases and to insure reproductive choice? Does my community support me in gaining information about and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, as well as information and access to contraception and reproductive options, including abortion? This is a question of stewardship (the wise care for and management of the gift of sexuality) and anticipating the literal consequences of sexual activity. This question takes on even more urgency with the possibility of infection with HIV or the possibility of unwanted pregnancy. My partner and I need to have open communication about sexuality, our sexual histories (including STD’s), appropriate contraception and safer sex. In other words, we need to know each other well before we can make good decisions about a sexual encounter. These are not decisions to be made lightly, under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or on the spur of the moment. These are decisions best made in the context of a relationship which is built over time and in which trust and communication are priorities. This is the best argument against one-night-stands. Having sex with someone you just met means having sex with someone who may be violent, who may have a sexually transmitted disease, and who may be untrustworthy. Why take that chance? 4. Am I committed to sharing pleasure and intimacy in my relationship? My concern should be both for my own needs and those of my partner. The Song of Solomon in Hebrew scripture describes a non-marital sexual relationship without procreative purpose in which erotic longing and pleasure and intimacy are mutually enjoyed. As Christians, if we genuinely live out an incarnational theology, then we must affirm that our bodily selves are good gifts from God and that sexual pleasure is also good. 5. Am I faithful to my promises and commitments? Whatever the nature of a commitment to one’s partner and whatever the duration of that commitment, fidelity requires truthfulness, promise-keeping, attention, and the absence of violence. These are aspects of a relationship which require daily effort. Change in an individual may mean a change in the commitment which should be pursued through open and honest communication. Deep, Abiding Sexual Values Any effort to shift the discussion of sexual ethics in the Christian community towards the values of justice, respect, bodily integrity, consent, reciprocity, and fidelity definitely stimulates resistance in some quarters. There are those who still quickly look for the litmus questions: what about abortion, adultery, homosexuality, and masturbation (in alphabetical order)? If we are to utilize Paul’s ethical insight as outlined earlier, then these are no longer the defining questions. If we are to affirm and promote the eroticization of equality in intimate relationships, these are no longer the defining questions. The values which undergird the five guidelines suggested here encourage us not to meet our own sexual needs at the expense of someone else. These values are also far more stringent than traditional patriarchal sexual ethics. They recognize that there are no simple answers and no permanent resolutions but rather a constant process of ethical discernment if we are to do least harm to those we love the most. ▼ Marie Fortune is the founding director of the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence. Located in Seattle, the Center serves as a training resource to religious communities in the United States and Canada. (See page 31 for address and phone.) A graduate of Yale University Divinity School and a minister in the United Church of Christ, she is the author and co-author of nine books, including Love Does No Harm: Sexual Ethics for the Rest of Us (The Continuum Publishing Company, New York, 1995), in which the concepts in this article are fully developed. Note 1Raymond F. Collins, Christian Morality: Biblical Foundations (Notre Dame: 1986), 58. 18 Open Hands Is the term “gay sexual ethic” an oxymoron similar to other nonsensical terms, such as “diet chocolate” and “military music”? Many people inside the church and outside think so because they routinely associate gayness with sexual immorality. Interestingly, many queer folks also express reservations, but for different reasons. Many people in the g/l/b/t community object to establishing any normative sexual ethic because “morality” is so often used to persecute and place queer people at risk. Prescribing morals is seen as a repressive project, using fear, shame, and ultimately violence to control those who deviate visibly, publicly from the married heterosexual norm. A fixed, rule-bound code of sanctions only further alienates gay people from loving their bodies and from sharing with others the pleasures of sexual intimacy. Setting up a code, gay or otherwise, to regulate sexuality is terribly misguided and likely doomed from the start. Others, gay and non-gay alike, are simply confused about sexual morality and find themselves wondering if it’s best to keep their own views private and “live and let live.” The dedication of a book on teen sexuality puts the dilemma well: “To the youth of America who must struggle to find their way to sexual health and sanity while the media screams, ‘Always say yes,’ most parents say ‘Just say no,’ and the majority just say nothing.” I agree that conventional morality, including traditional Christian sexual ethics, has by and large been sex-negative, rigid, and hostile to the g/l/b/t community. As a gay man and Christian ethicist, I also believe deep-down that gay people have significant moral wisdom to share about body-love and body-justice, born of our ongoing struggles for survival and self-respect in the face of oppression and more recently the HIV/AIDS pandemic. As carriers of this culture’s discomfort with body and sensuality, gay men and lesbians, as well as bisexual and transgendered people, know something about the joy and responsibility of erotic power as intimate touching. We also know something about what’s required to sustain bonds of affection and care under adverse conditions, a moral knowing we share with other oppressed communities. Developing a gay sexual ethic is worthwhile, in my judgment, because the ongoing, never-ending process of reflecting on our values and conduct strengthens our community. Thinking self-critically, as well as with imagination and good humor, about who we are (character) and what we do (conduct) develops in us “habits of the heart” that can deepen our self-respect, enhance our care of others, and alert us to whatever puts body or spirit in danger. Nonetheless, ethics-making is to be undertaken with a measure of precaution. In his 1855 preface to Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman gave this good advice: “Reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem…in every motion and joint of your body.” The moral question that intrigues me is, what makes “good sex” good? Conventional sex ethics limits responsible sexuality to only two options: on the one hand, celibacy (abstinence) for singles and gays, and on the other hand, heterosexual marriage that in principle is procreative and monogamous. However, on each score there is good reason to question and dissent. For example, some single persons choose celibacy for sex-phobic and, therefore, highly problematic reasons. In addition, marital rape and abuse take place in too many heterosexual unions to give marriage a blanket blessing. Finally, many sexually active single persons, including many gay and lesbian people, lead loving, responsible, and faithful lives. Making ethical judgments on the basis of social status or category is woefully inadequate. Therefore, we’re still left with deciding, what makes sex morally good, and how can we determine that? About this question, I suspect there’s no one right and finally definitive answer. A variety of responses may appeal to our hearts and minds, as well as open us to further explorations about our lives, our conflicts, our hopes, and our fears. We stand a better chance of sharpening our moral sensibilities if we take other viewpoints into account as we frame our ethic. Along these lines, lesbian- feminist theologian Mary Hunt suggests that we may do best on moral matters when “we engage in creative listening, sketch some general directions, and leave the rest up to the good sense of faithful people.” My own answer, briefly stated, about an ethical eroticism is that good sex is the kind of body-touching that is, at one and the same time, both powerful to the senses (erotically “charged”) and ethically principled. Sex is not doing something to someone else, but rather a mutual process of being with and feeling with another person. Persons, not merely body parts, meet and touch. Therefore, an ethical eroticism requires WHAT MAKES ‘GOOD SEX’ GOOD? Developing a Gay-Positive Sex Ethic Marvin M. Ellison “Reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem...” Walt Whitman Spring 1998 19 paying attention to that other person, as well as to oneself. Both parties must show up, be listened to and taken seriously, and be accountable for what happens, together. I’ve written elsewhere about four basic commitments that in my judgment properly focus ethical concern. Our moral interest should be in eroticizing mutual respect and pleasure as moral goods to be desired in all relations, both sexual and non-sexual. These core commitments include honoring the goodness of the body (and of diverse bodies), granting every person’s entitlement to bodily integrity and moral self-direction, insisting on mutual consent and respect even if love is not (yet) present, and valuing a fidelity grounded in honesty and the willingness to change. During my own explorations about these matters, I’ve reached a somewhat surprising conclusion. As an ethicist, I’ve become convinced that we simply do not need a separate sex ethic to control our sexuality or regulate our sexual conduct. In fact, such an ethic may do more harm than good. In saying this, I am not arguing for a moral free-for-all. Rather, what I am departing from is the legacy of a patriarchal church and culture that fears erotic desire, devalues the body, and seeks to keep men “safe” and in charge by containing women’s lives and women’s bodies within a complex set of male-controlled institutions, most especially male-dominant marriage. It is patriarchy that promulgates the need for special controls on sex, including harsh punishments for sex outside patriarchal marriage, as well as the stigmatizing of those who fail to conform to sexist, racist, and elitist notions of proper male and female roles. Gay people, of course, are the prime cultural exemplars of sexual nonconformists. By definition, we are “sex outlaws” and moral deviants from the perspective of patriarchal law and order. Patriarchy, should we forget, is in force whenever control is the watchword about sex, uppity women and gays are objects of worry, and the pressing agenda is to preserve male gender privilege, especially for males who are white and affluent. Here I must add a particular word to myself and my gay, bisexual, and transgendered brothers. I fear that too many of us still try to mimic the dominant male culture’s norm of masculinity as a way to “pass” as real men and, therefore, be accepted as “one of the boys.” We have learned how to control without guilt, become hardened and cut off from our feelings (but more importantly, be oblivious to the feelings of others), and refuse to be responsible for how our relative power affects others and the earth for good or ill. Together we must become more courageous in our male gender non-conformity, because even when patriarchy is “bent,” it is patriarchy nonetheless! By learning how to resist the force of masculinization in our lives, we stand every chance of becoming more humanized and, therefore, appropriately vulnerable, accountable, and passionate about relations of equality and mutual respect. A sign of our humanizing as men will be our capacity to “turn on” to justice in our bedrooms and throughout the social order. If, as I am arguing, special controls on sexuality are not necessary, and if our safety and well-being are not dependent on fear-based strategies to restrain erotic power and keep things orderly, then is there a place for any kind of sex ethic? My own answer is a qualified yes. Although we don’t need a specialized code that regards sex as dangerous, dirty, and/or chaotic and, therefore, singles out sex for regulation, we can benefit from an adequate life ethic that is able to fully incorporate the erotic as an essential dimension of our humanity. Eroticism is an indispensable human power, one that—contrary to patriarchal fears— we are able to direct with wisdom and compassion. This more comprehensive life ethic honors the moral goodness of respectful touching, but refuses to single out genital touching as especially worrisome or morally significant. Instead, this ethical approach values, but does not overly invest in sexual expression between persons to the exclusion or detriment of other modes of communication. Its primary focus is the quality of respect and care in relationships, the distribution and use of power, and protecting vulnerable persons from abuse, exploitation, and neglect. Such an ethic, at long last, allows us to give sex its due and, at the same time, break with patriarchy’s fear and disquietude with all things sexual. Sexuality is an important, even treasured aspect of our lives, but we can acknowledge its place in our lives without reinforcing racist patriarchal culture’s genital fixation. The moral focus properly belongs on issues of power and safety, including maintaining health and avoiding unintended pregnancy. Such an ethic does not seek to control people, but rather empowers them for exercising responsible freedom and moral selfdirection. An emancipatory ethic supports any and all efforts to help people learn to negotiate fairly and also gain both confidence and skills at receiving others as friends and intimates. A patriarchal sex ethic denies l/g/b/t people our right to be. However, when our existence can no longer be doubted, the fall-back position tells us to “be, but don’t do.” Fortunately, an egalitarian, sex-positive ethic endorses our moral 20 Open Hands right to love and be loved. It also appreciates how the systematic devaluing of embodied love, along with the denial of sexual pleasure and its perversion into domination and control, are particularly cruel, as well as effective, forms of human oppression. Gay moral wisdom about sex tells a truth long-forbidden in our culture: justice- making makes love more pleasurable. By justice I mean the pursuit of right relatedness in terms of mutual respect, care, and the sharing of goods. When we love justice passionately with our whole minds, bodies, and spirits, justice becomes more desirable in every aspect of our lives. Queer people are feared, in part, because our animating moral passion is to break the hold of every form of oppression. The guardians of the status quo know this and fear rightly that our passion for justice-love may be catching. The “gay agenda,” so feared and trivialized by the Christian right, is nothing less than to recruit as many people as we can— of all colors, classes, and sexualities— who along with us will aspire to a morality that insists on each person’s self-respect and seeks to rebuild community by extending justice passionately. In this sense, we are— and should proudly be—a dangerous people, brazenly inviting others to live dangerously, too. We make a difference, in the large and small places of our lives, whenever we love fearlessly. ▼ Marvin M. Ellison has taught Christian social ethics at Bangor Theological Seminary since 1981 and is currently director of the Seminary’s campus in Portland. He received his Ph.D. from Union Theological Seminary in New York and is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA). He writes and speaks nationally on a variety of issues, including human sexuality, economic justice, and health care ethics. He co-chairs Maine’s Religious Coalition Against Discrimination and is a member of the Board of Directors of the Maine Bioethics Network. His most recent book is Erotic Justice: A Liberating Ethic of Sexuality (Westminster/ John Knox Press, 1996). Jim Wolfe A prostitute crashes a dinner party and lavishes herself on Jesus, anointing his head with spices and washing his feet with her tears. The highly moral host (a Pharisee) is outraged and says that Jesus would not allow this if he knew what kind of woman this is. But he is wrong. Jesus knows. And guess what? It doesn’t make any difference to him! It is a loving and beautiful thing that this woman has done. She has loved perhaps not wisely and perhaps too well. She may have entered her profession out of desperation to make ends meet and has been exploited. Maybe she has found some pleasure in her work. But now she has heard that a prophet is in town who is inviting everyone into the company of God; she also knows that he is in trouble with the authorities and that his days are numbered. She does not hold back until an appropriate time but bursts in impulsively. She anoints Jesus as if for burial and shows hospitality by washing his feet (which the good host had neglected to do). She does not focus on herself and her sins; she does not repent in the usual sense; she puts her tears into the service of love. Without her asking, Jesus tells the woman that her sins are forgiven, and he tells the Pharisee that she is forgiven much because she has loved much. The answer for the woman who has loved too much is not penitence but yet more love. There can be too little but never be too much love. That is our sexual ethic. Are there guidelines that would help lesbians, gay men, transgenders, bisexuals and straights to practice a love that does least harm and most good? Sure. It is wrong to hurt people (married or not) and good to respect and help. Sex is a gift from God to be received with gratitude and used responsibly and responsively as good stewards. It is wrong to be preoccupied with sex and good to be alive to the erotic in all relationships. It is a shame to hurry love and good to be sensual as well as sexual and to paint in all the colors of love from mania (purple) to storge (slow burning, comfortable green). Do not give anything but love; take precautions against unwanted pregnancy and spreading or catching sexually transmitted diseases. Do not score. Avoid exploitation, the strong preying on the weak, the mature on the immature, the economically well off on the destitute. Make sure consent and pleasure are mutual. Make commitments and change them mutually. Breakup amicably. Sex means more with a person with whom one shares a long-term relationship and means less with strangers. Do not have children until you have the means and readiness to care for them. Provide children with parenting. Through sex one becomes one flesh with spouse, partner or prostitute, so treat your body as a temple in which God’s Spirit dwells. An anthem prays: “Come, Spirit, come, our hearts control. Our spirits long to be made whole. Let inward love guide every deed. By this we worship and are freed.” Jim Wolfe is a professor, poet, preacher, and programmer. He holds a Ph.D. in Religion and Society and teaches sociology at Butler University. This essay grew from teaching Mary Jo Osterman’s course “Claiming the Promise” at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Indianapolis. A SEXUAL DESIDERATA Spring 1998 21 In the popular mind, ethics is linked to religion. Religion teaches that God determines right and wrong and that doing what religion teaches is following God’s will. That is true in some way, but it is not straightforward. We come to know right and wrong only gropingly. Especially when new issues arise—like genetic engineering or chemical contraception or sexual orientation— we struggle to decide what is the right response. When we finally decide, if we have acted honestly and in good will, we say that our decision, such-and-such, is the will of God. For surely what is good, as best we can determine, is what God would want. But attributing ethical conclusions directly to God does not guarantee that they are correct. And imposing them on others in the name of God may be the ultimate abuse of power. With the advent of gay liberation, and for absolutely valid reasons, many lesbians and gays rejected the religions that formed and bound them. In the process, some rejected not only the sexual ethics they were taught but also the very notion of valid sexual ethics. The problem of linking ethics with religion is that when the one goes, so does the other. When experience makes clear that religious requirements must be wrong, all requirements go out the window, and sexual expression becomes a free-for-all. The fact of the matter is that ethics is built right into human nature. Our very minds demand that we only affirm what is true— and you cannot dispute this point without confirming it in your very arguing. Similarly, our minds demand that we do only what is good— what is positive, upbuilding, enhancing, what opens onto growth. In the depths of our hearts is a spiritual core. We are geared to embrace the universe, so we spontaneously marvel at beauty, and we long to love and be loved. The lasting fulfillment we desire, of course, always eludes us, but our very desire leads us ever more deeply into the experience of life. Still, only goodness has a future; falsehood and evil inevitably self-destruct. Only what squares with the nature of things can hope to survive longterm. Our spirits sense this fact, so they flee the disorder that is evil, and they gravitate toward the harmony of the good. Experience of this inner movement is called conscience. We ourselves, the very structure of our being, are the source of ethics. Our inherent desire to live ever more deeply urges us to choose what brings richer life. Thus, the ethics that cultures and religions propose is only the goodwilled application to specific issues of the spiritual longing for fulfillment that is built into the human heart. Doing what is right means genuinely serving our own best interests. It might have nothing to do with God and heaven, for what is right must be equally right for the agnostic as for the believer. Then the general ethical question is simply, What contributes to the good? What furthers ongoing growth? What makes for lasting satisfaction? These questions also govern sexual matters. But sex in human beings is complicated. Former thinking— built on Stoic philosophy and funneled into Christianity through St. Augustine— held that, animal-like, sex equated with procreation. But human sex includes not just physical response and biological function. It also entails emotional entanglements. And even more than that, it opens onto the spiritual in us so that making love seduces lovers into dreaming dreams and making promises. Sex in humans opens onto the meaning of life and a universe of shared experience. This is the way human sex is. So “what furthers ongoing growth” in sex must respect all these dimensions. That broader understanding implies that sexual sharing can be completely ethical even outside the confines of heterosexual, child-bearing marriage— as long as, to some degree, as appropriate in each case, the sexual sharing unleashes its life-enhancing potential. Thus, allowing pleasure, fostering bonding, and triggering shared visions and virtues, lesbian and gay relationships, though biologically non-procreative, might express the essential and distinctive nature of human sexual experience as much as heterosexual relationships might. There is no inherent reason why gay and lesbian relationships cannot be fully ethical— which is to say, loving, constructive, life-giving, upbuilding, growth-producing, fruitful, productive. Such broad understanding of sexual intimacy differs from other commonly heard opinions. Some myopically limit sex to the physical. They argue that pleasure is sovereign and it legitimates any sexual experience. Others, more subtle but still narrow, move on the emotional plane. They insist on being “in love” or at least having feelings for someone before engaging in sex. In fact, both those emphases are on target, and they are acceptable—but only if they are incorporated into the broader picture. Once incorporated, they get nuanced. Not any pleasure, not any emotional bonding and delight, but only those that truly serve ongoing growth are allowed. Only those respect the full nature of human sex, and only those are genuinely fulfilling: we are more than bodies and emotions; the human spirit also requires its due. With that understanding, basic ethical rules fall easily into place—not come down from heaven, not imposed by parents, society, or religion—but built right into our own sexual natures and interpersonal relationships. No disease. No physical harm. No unwanted pregnancy. No coercion or manipulation. No abuse of the immature and naive. No emotional harm. No violation of commitments. No betrayal of personal values. These negatives are there because violation of them is destructive. Positively, human sexual sharing requires honesty, trustworthiness, mutual enjoyment, mutual support—some degree of concern and commitment. These requirements may seem restrictive, and in some ways they lead to the same kind of behavior that religion at SEXUAL ETHICS WITHOUT RELIGION Daniel A. Helminiak 22 Open Hands its best traditionally advocated. Yet these requirements are also more freeing than the traditional. If they require concern and commitment, they do not stipulate eternal vows. The nature of each relationship will specify how much concern and commitment is possible and necessary for the relationship actually to be loving, not only in the present moment but also in its long-term effects. It is certainly possible that a passing sexual encounter could respect all these requirements and really be for the overall good of the people involved. It is also possible that a relationship might involve more than two people, whether in sexual intimacy itself or in some configuration of interweaving relationships, and really be for the common good. The “open relationship,” the ménage a trois, and the mistress or gay lover alongside a heterosexual marriage are typical examples. All are possibly ethical, but all are questionable. Real relationship tends to break down in these cases. Almost inevitably someone gets badly hurt. But then again, people inevitably get hurt in any relationship. Everything human is messy. Whether or not those involvements are actually good is the telling question. Answering this question is not always easy, and imposing blanket answers is not helpful. Being willing to ask the ethical question and to follow the required answer in each case— this is what makes people and their behavior ethical. And again, the honest answers will usually fall right where traditional morality placed them. A key complexity of human sex is that it is not just a physical encounter. Humans are persons. In addition to bodies, we have emotions and we have spirits. This is what it means to be a person. So human sex is an interpersonal enterprise. The interpersonal dimension of human sexuality is entwined with the ethical requirements. Indeed, ethical, personal, and interpersonal begin to sound like synonyms. Ethical requirements are not simply a matter of altruism, of being concerned about others. This simplistic me-versusyou view of morality is totally misguided. Ethical requirements are a matter of wholesome self-serving that is inextricably entwined with the good of others. Our whole constitution is outgoing. The horniness in our loins, the longing of our emotions, the dreams and promises of our spirits— all impel us unrelentingly outside ourselves. We fulfill ourselves through interaction with what is beyond us. And when we fulfill ourselves in the good, we actually become that good even as we share it with others. What we are and what they are in honest and loving living becomes one and the same. All talk of selfishness versus altruism is a bugaboo. The sexual act symbolizes this distinctively human state of affairs: when sexual sharing proceeds well, what is good for me is good for you, and vice versa. The physical pleasure, the emotional bliss, and the spiritual self-transcendence— yours and mine— are mutually enhancing. It’s a win-win situation. We are social animals. We live in and with one another. Human sex cannot be extricated from a social context. Even solo-sex usually involves fantasies, memories, and longings about others. Then it is insane to protest, “My body is my own,” “No one has a claim on my life,” and “I have the right to do with myself whatever I please.” Such claims for a new “ethics” are appearing of late in the gay community. Weary of the restriction on free-forall sex that the AIDS epidemic sanely imposed, some free spirits are mounting a campaign to restore the irresponsible days of yore when gay liberation was struggling to be born and desperately threw off all restraints. They claim that physical pleasure is the meaning of sex. They claim the right to high risk behavior in the pursuit of pleasure. Fetishizing HIV, they use risk of infection to heighten the excitement of sex. They claim the right, with consenting partners, to do whatever they wish. Under many circumstances, they certainly can do whatever they wish. After all, there’s truth in the standard schoolyard protest, “It’s a free country.” But that they have the right is mistaken. And the matter is not worth discussing in these terms. The language of rights is part of the bugaboo of me-versus-you. This cut-off-my-nose-to-spite-myface mentality misunderstands the nature of human beings and of society, for both coincide. This mentality mistakenly thinks laws and morality are restrictions imposed from without and fails to see that valid ethics arise from, and serve, our own selves. We are not always sure what the valid ethics are, but pretending there are no ethical requirements in life is not the solution. No one belongs solely to themselves. Family, teachers, neighbors— all have an investment in us. The extreme example is the GI, who is “government issue,” property of the state. He or she will be punished for self-destructive behavior since it costs the military money. Similarly, family, friends, and society at large pay the price for irresponsible sex that results in HIV infection. It is an illusion that the sex of consenting adults is solely their own business. The notions of adultery, infidelity, and sacred vows have long expressed other societal implications of sex. Like it or not, human sexuality is a social reality. Its inherent ethical nature has social implications built right into it. People may kick against the goad and refuse to accept the human state. But such refusal is simple stupidity. One can only lose. Religions call that refusal sin and relate it to God. Understanding what the religions were attempting to do and taking up the task in their place or as a part of them—for the task is really our own— will provide a new ethics that actually meets current needs as we enter the third millennium. Then we might also hope to see a fourth millennium—and heaven, ultimate fulfillment, as well. ▼ Daniel Helminiak is a psychotherapist and educator at the Pittsburgh Pastoral Institute in Pennsylvania. Having ministered as a Roman Catholic priest, he has authored the bestselling What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality (Alamo Square Press, 1994) and more recently has published The Human Core of Spirituality: Mind as Psyche and Spirit (1996) and Religion and the Human Sciences: An Approach via Spirituality (1998), both from State University of New York Press. Spring 1998 23 Why should I want commitment if love rises spontaneously, and if I can identify with it by my freedom at every moment? Why should I promise to love if there are risks to the love itself in making it a matter of obligation? Only something at the heart of our experience of loving can explain this. There are some loves whose very power in us moves us to commitment. “Love’s reasons” for commitment are at last threefold, and they go something like this. First, like all commitments, a commitment to love seeks to safeguard us against our own inconsistencies, what we perceive to be our possibilities of failure. If we are not naively confident that our love can never die, we sense the dangers of our forgetfulness, the contradictions of intervening desires, the brokenness and fragmentation in even our greatest loves. We sense, too, the powerful forces in our milieu—the social and economic pressures that militate against as well as support our love. We need and want a way to be held to the word of our deepest self, a way to prevent ourselves from destroying everything in the inevitable moments when we are less than this. To give to the one we love our word, to yield to her or him a claim over our love, offers a way. Love seek more than this, however. We know that freedom cannot once and for all determine its future affirmation of love. No free choice can settle all future free choices for the continuation of love. Yet sometimes we love in a way that makes us yearn to gather up our whole future and place it in affirmation of the one we love. Though we know it is impossible because our lives are stretched out in time, we long to seal our love now and forever. By commitment to unconditional love we attempt to make love irrevocable and to communicate it so. This is the one thing we can do: initiate in the present a new form of relationship that will endure in the form of fidelity or betrayal. We do this by giving a new law to our love. Kierkegaard points to this when he says, “When we talk most solemnly we do not say of two friends ‘They love one another’; we say ‘They pledged fidelity’ or ‘They pledged friendship to one another.’”1 Commitment is love’s way of being whole while it still grows into wholeness. Finally, love sometimes desires commitment because love wants to express itself as clearly as it can. Commitment is destructive if it aims to provide the only remedy for distrust in a loving relationship. But it can be a ground for trust if its aim is honesty about intention, communication of how great are the stakes if intention fails. The decision to give my word about my future love can be part of converting my heart, part of going out of myself truly to meet the one I love (not part of hardening my heart because of excessive fear of sanctions if I break the law that I give to my love). My promise, then, not only verbally assures the one I love of my desire for constancy, but it helps to effect what it assures.2 * * * * * Commitment is our way of trying to give a future to a present love. It depends upon the power of the past (promise) to influence the present (fulfillment). It aims to strengthen us, so that our love will endure through time; to assure us, so that we may trust within time; to integrate love, so that one day’s fears do not threaten another day’s desires, or one year’s weakness overwhelm another year’s strength. Yet it is not immediately obvious whether commitment is, therefore, a way of resisting time (of making love endure in spite of time, as if there were no time) or of embracing time (giving love a history by giving it a future). Clearly commitment can be related to time in more than one way. The manner of its relationship probably depends to a great extent on how we think about it. If we think of time as a threat to love, then we see our commitments as preserving love against the ravages of time. If we think of time as an opportunity for love to grow, we aim our commitments to ensure for love the time it needs. If we look upon time as something to be spanned, we seek by our commitments to reach across it without being touched. If we consider time as truly integral to commitment itself, then we try to learn time’s mysteries and to prepare for its fruits.3 ▼ Margaret A. Farley, Ph.D., is professor of Christian ethics at Yale University Divinity School. She has been widely published in journals of ethics and religion and is a leader in the field of feminist ethics. 1Søren Kierkegaard, Works of Love, trans. Howard and Edna Hong (New York: Harper Torchbooks, 1962), 45. 2Margaret A. Farley, Personal Commitments - Beginning, Keeping, Changing (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1986), 34-35. 3Farley, 40-41. Margaret A. Farley From Personal Commitments Copyright © 1986 by Margaret A. Farley. Used by permission. GIVING A FUTURE TO A PRESENT LOVE 24 Open Hands SIGNS OF GOD Making Banners for Worship Jan Graves “The sign of God is that we will be led where we did not plan to go.” These words arise from a burning bush batiked on ivory muslin. It’s the first thing most people see when they enter our sanctuary for worship. The banner hangs on the wall facing the main entrance and is a visual statement about our relationship to God and the world. It makes an immediate impression and is often the reason why people return. In the 20 years since its making, the banner and its words have become a slogan for our congregation, appearing on buttons and t-shirts and quoted in sermons and at rallies. There are also other banners representing justice issues, covenants, and liturgical seasons. Without reading a single brochure or hearing a single word, people entering our sanctuary know that we are a Christian church, a Reconciling Congregation, a public sanctuary, a justice-seeking church with multi-cultural interests, and have an affinity for rainbows. All worship spaces can benefit from visual symbols like banners. With a little planning, banners can be created by the whole community in just one session using materials people already have in their homes. It can even be done without a sewing machine or other special equipment. First, get a planning group together to brainstorm on design ideas. Think in terms of visual symbols instead of words. Focus on the purpose of the banner. Since many people will be participating, try to think of images that look good in groups— leaves, handprints, flames, drops of water, stones, puzzle pieces, or flowers. For example, our church was planning a reunion. Former members would be returning to share their journeys and ministries. How would we remember them and create a lasting symbol at the event? We chose the theme “Where Our Lights Shine.” “Lights” suggested yellow on a darker background. Instead of stars, we selected arrows to convey journey and action. Participants would have an arrow to decorate in a way that represented their own shining light. Next, determine the overall size and draw a general sketch on graph paper. Select the main media— fabric or vinyl, and issue a call for materials needed to complete the banner. Prepare the background before the banner-making session. Almost any material will do— sheets, bedspreads, linen or vinyl tablecloths, vinyl wallpaper/canvas, 54 inch vinyl wall covering, parachute material, felt, burlap, old drapes, and even outdated or unused paraments. Edges can be frayed or they can be folded over and stapled, glued, double-stick taped or ironed flat with fusible webbing.* A broomstick can serve as a hanging rod. I like to use 1/2" PVC plastic pipe. It’s lightweight, can easily be cut with a hacksaw, and already has a tube to thread the rope for hanging. At the banner-making session, explain the purpose of the banner and the procedure for its construction. Furnish a variety of cloth remnants, trims, ribbons, glitter, yarn, markers, paint pens, fabric paints, and glue. Give people a workspace and let them go to it. If you’re using a vinyl background, contact paper and tapes can be used for the attachments. For our banner, we provided several cardboard arrow patterns so people could trace and cut out their own arrow from the yellow fabric. People didn’t limit themselves to the supplied materials. They attached objects like buttons, ribbons and workplace items to the arrows. Have several people assist in the final assembly. In a wellventilated area, apply spray adhesive to the back of individual fabric pieces. Within a few moments, the adhesive becomes tacky and creates a smooth, dry bond when attached to the background surface. Use fabric glue for smaller pieces. If the pieces are flat, back them with fusion webbing ahead of time and iron into place. In less than an hour, a symbol of the community of faith can be ready for display in a culminating worship service. I’m a big believer in the power of visual symbols. What did you do first when you turned to this page? Did you look at the picture or read the opening sentence? *Fusion webbing, such as Wonder-Under®, available in fabric stores, can be ironed onto a piece of material to create an appliqué or patch. When the paper is removed, the appliqué can be attached to the background material and ironed in place. Jan Graves is the designer for Open Hands and Claiming the Promise and is a member and songleader of Wheadon United Methodist Church in Evanston, Illinois. She facilitated the workshop for the first communally-created banner of the national Reconciling movement in 1987. WHY MARCH IN GAY PRIDE? JUST PEACE! Charles A. Wolfe When I became pastor of Plymouth Church in Wisconsin’s capital city in 1987, the major task was to do the evangelism needed to prevent a 250-member congregation from dying. Deficit budgets and an aging congregation were the primary concerns, not becoming an “Open and Affirming” congregation. At my first annual meeting, a member introduced a motion that we become a “Just Peace” congregation. The motion passed without opposition and minimal discussion. Actively supporting a homeless shelter and being part of the liberal milieu of our state’s educational-political center, it was an easy vote. Of course there should be peace with justice! ©1996 WHEADON UMC Spring 1998 25 Pentecost Sunday, when ten teenagers were confirmed in our church, an organization calling itself Wisconsin Christians United picketed the church, carrying signs that read “Wolfe in Sheep’s Clothing” and “Gays are an abomination to the Lord.” It was an upsetting day; some of our members were shouted at and received hateful looks as they entered for worship. But it also created an opportunity for some who had previously been silent to speak out with passion against such bigotry. The members of the confirmation class were shaken, asking, “Why do they have to spoil our day?” “They can’t spoil your day,” I responded. “What you are doing today means something; it means something to join Plymouth Church— you might as well know up front that being a Christian sometimes has a cost.” When one of our members slipped out early in the service carrying cups of coffee to offer the picketers, he was rebuffed. “We’re not sure about your AIDS control standards, so we won’t take any,” they told him. The whole incident served as an occasion for thoughtful discussion and education around family dinner tables. Last year was one of the few in the past twelve that Plymouth Church has increased its membership, and not only with gays and lesbians. Others also say the welcoming of everyone attracted them. So why do we march in Madison’s Gay Pride March? It has not only to do with being an Open and Affirming congregation: we are also discovering what we meant when we became a Just Peace congregation more than a decade ago! Charles A. Wolfe, Ph.D., is in his twelfth year as pastor of Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ in Madison, Wisconsin. His advocacy has included testimony before a state legislative committee to oppose legislation designed primarily to offend and isolate gay and lesbian citizens. He also chairs the partnership between the Wisconsin UCC Conference and the Diocese of San Cristobal de las Casas in Chiapas, Mexico. An Open Letter From African- American Clergy and Laity Excerpts from a communication addressed to the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in the context of the conflict over gays and lesbians in the church, signed by 27 prominent church leaders and issued by the office of the National Black Presbyterian Caucus. It is out of our own historic struggle against Christian prejudice and discrimination, and our distinctive experience of the providence of God through Jesus Christ, as Liberator, that we boldly make this urgent testimony of concern and challenge. Black Presbyterians, from the earliest decades of the 19th century to these closing years of the 20th, have led our Church in justice action on behalf of people who have been objects of Laura Stalder (left) and Rita Honnold of Plymouth Congregational UCC prepare the “Coming Out, Coming Together” banner for the 1997 Gay Pride March in Madison, Wisconsin. Behind them is Plymouth’s own banner held by other members. Years later, in 1992, several events coincided. The Wisconsin UCC Conference organized an educational program through its Gay and Lesbian Coalition on how to become an Open and Affirming Congregation. Our newly-elected moderator of the congregation, Laura Stalder, attended. As a school social worker in a Madison suburb, Laura had watched an educator, whose skills she admired, hounded out of her school district because of her sexual orientation. Laura was outraged and told me that, during her term as moderator, Plymouth would do some educational work and become and Open and Affirming congregation. The process took longer than Laura imagined, with less disruption than I had feared, and when our Open and Affirming task force recommended a statement to the congregation in 1996, it was approved— not unanimously— but by far more than the two-thirds vote required. The hard question for many in the congregation, and what had delayed our vote, had not been whether we could be an “Open” congregation— the opinion that gays and lesbians had no place in the church was never expressed. The issue for Plymouth’s largely working-class congregation was how Affirming is “Affirming”? Does that mean advocating gay civil rights? Marching in gay rights marches? Gay marriages? Contributing to gay causes? The task force responded that it might mean any or all of these things. For a year before Plymouth became officially Open and Affirming, Laura and I had been attending, as observers, meetings of Coming Out, Coming Together (COCT), a coalition of religious groups that sponsored semiannual interfaith services for gays and lesbians and did advocacy work in the community. COCT had been represented in Madison’s annual Gay Pride March for the first time in 1995. Along with PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), COCT hoped to present a less radical contingent than the more flamboyant groups, like Dykes on Bikes and the Lesbian Avengers. In the spring of 1996, the coalition held one of its interfaith worship services at Plymouth Church. COCT members created the official Coming Out, Coming Together banner, with much of the work being done at Plymouth. Part of that interfaith group, it seemed logical that Plymouth should have its own contingent in the Gay Pride March in the summer of 1996. Four of our members— all straight—marched that first year, carrying the COCT banner. In 1997, six marched, two of whom were Plymouth’s first “out” lesbian couple. And recently, several teenagers from our congregation have expressed a desire to be part of what we anticipate will be a larger body of marchers in this year’s parade. In the past year, we have received into membership seven lesbian members, and this year we will celebrate the baptism of the first baby of a lesbian family. There has not yet been a union service at Plymouth, but that will surely come. Last 26 Open Hands scorn, disenfranchisement, and marginalization in the church and society because of race, class, culture, gender, and stigmas that some attach to anyone who diverges from what others consider the God-given norm. We find it a sad irony that some Presbyterians would adopt the legalistic strategies of those who oppose the remedial measure of affirmative action, the reform of unjust criminal justice codes, and the development of a more compassionate system of public welfare. These Presbyterians, by using a strict and inflexible interpretation of biblical texts and the constitution of the church, seek to establish a hierarchy of sins by which they can single out and exclude other sisters and brothers from participation as full members of our church (Rom. 3:21-23). The modern creeds and constitutions of the Reformed family of churches are open rather than closed interpretations of Scripture and tradition. They focus upon the grace and mercy of God through Christ. They discourage every form of extremism, calling upon each of us to accept, as Christ did, those who have been despised and cast out. They ask us to strive for mutual respect and harmony with those who may disagree with us, and to renounce personal defamation and humiliation as weapons of Christian debate. Because God through Christ loves us, as unlovable as we are, we are bound to love others (1 Jn. 4:19), even those whose sincere ethical choices, opinions, and behavior may be different from our own…. In the confusion of norms and values the greatest gift that each of us has to give or receive is love. The greatest expressions of love, as we know it in Christ, are empathy, compassion, understanding, and “standing with,”— as Christ did—those who are rejected by the scribes and Pharisees. African-American Presbyterians and other racial/ethnic groups in our church have suffered for years from the absence of such qualities and expressions of Christian agape. We know the pain of separation, disparagement, and discrimination. We cannot be neutral in the atmosphere of hostility which currently seems to focus on those whose opinions, actions, sexual orientations, or self-understandings may not be conventional or sanctioned by many. Love demands that we accept and respect each other in Christ, and set aside self-righteous scorn and ridicule, political wrangling, and ecclesiastical terrorism. Only so, can we come to the table of sisterhood and brotherhood and strive for understanding and mutuality in order that our true mission, which is to proclaim and demonstrate the good news about Christ, may be advanced in our church and around the world. As African-American Presbyterians, we refuse to spiritualize Christian unity with pious words about how much “we love sinners, but hate their sin,” and how much we accept those different from ourselves even as we effectively shut them out of fellowship, church offices, and ministries. We know what it is like to have our voice silenced in the congregations and courts of the church. In the dark days of 1904–1906, we were sacrificed in order that a false unity could be joined through the merger of the Cumberland branch and the Northern branch of American Presbyterianism. The latter acquiesced, over our protests, to racially segregated presbyteries and synods. Christian unity is more than a spiritual reality. It is also a concrete, visible, and ethical reality in which we demonstrate the unity of the Triune God by accommodation, incorporation, and loving adhesion in and to each other by divine grace, love, and forgiveness (Rom.14:10-12). FOR THE SAKE OF CHILDREN LIKE ME “And a Little Child Shall Lead Them...” Sol Kelley-Jones A child’s testimony to the Wisconsin State Assembly Committee on Children and Families considering an anti-same-sex marriage bill, March 10, 1997. I read the signs carried by some people who support this bill. They say things like, “God hates gays and lesbians”—that our family is bad. This is scarey for me. Once last year we went to a church service where people were carrying these signs and yelling at us outside. I woke up crying that night, because I dreamed that these same people bombed our church and our family was there. I don’t want to be afraid of these people and others who support this bill and I don’t want them to be afraid of me. I think we can all get along. We don’t have to be exactly the same way. In my history class in school, we’ve been studying about the beginning of the Constitution of the United States. As legislators, you know that it says that all people are created equal and have the right for the pursuit of happiness and equal protection under law. Well, I’ve been learning about Elizabeth Freeman, who was an African-American slave owned by one of the drafters of the Constitution. As a slave she didn’t have any rights. Elizabeth Freeman couldn’t get legally married and her kids could get taken away from her. Today, my parents also can’t get legally married, and it’s scarey for me to know that, if one of my parents died, I could be taken away from my other parent. Two hundred years ago, Elizabeth Freeman went to the government and asked for her rights— like it said in the Constitution. Some people hated or feared African-Americans so much that they would have changed the Constitution rather then allow Elizabeth Freeman her rights. They said terrible things, like if African-American people were freed and had equality under law, everything Americans believed in would crumble. Elizabeth Freeman won her freedom, the right to legally marry and to protect her children. And America didn’t crumble, it got better. I know that there are people here today who will say the same kinds of things about my family that they were saying about Elizabeth Freeman and her family. From studying history, I’ve learned that our Constitution does not say that “all people are equal, except for gay and lesbian people and their children.” It says “all people.” As an elected official, it’s your job to uphold the principles of the Constitution against hate and fear. I’m sure it took a lot of courage for the legislators Spring 1998 27 back then to give African-Americans the right to legally marry and to protect their children. For my sake, and the sake of hundreds of children like me, I trust you will have that kind of courage today. Sol Kelley-Jones, age 11, lives with her two moms Sunshine Jones (l.) and Joann Kelley (r.) in Madison, Wisconsin. Her parents have been in a marriage relationship for 19 years. The three of them are active in James Reeb Unitarian Universalist Congregation. Sol has courageously spoken out about her family at four different legislative hearings in the last year. She has also done ongoing educational work on homophobia in the public schools. She dreams that someday a bill will be introduced that supports kids and adults in families like hers rather than hurts them. A WORK OF GOD Brooke Rolston Names in this article have been changed to protect the innocent. I am learning that it’s important to try to show up in public places at key moments. This fall the University of Washington regents were considering a policy that would open campus housing to domestic partners. Conversation in the community was lively, and most focused the debate on same-sex relations. I learned of a public hearing and decided to go. The room was filled. I went forward and found a long list of speakers signed up ahead of me. I sat down at the end of a row of students, and recognized one as Phil, a participant in a Habitat for Humanity student work party the previous spring. On a campus this large, a moment of recognition is a shared grace. Phil introduced me to his friends. Others began to speak. A state legislator identified himself as a Christian and proceeded to tell the regents that if they ventured in the “ungodly” direction of extending housing privileges to domestic partners, they were acting against clear biblical teaching as well as legal limits on the University’s powers. A local church leader stood to say that older adult regents were jeopardizing the souls of young students, promoting a “gay agenda” among impressionable youth. The students around me knew I was a pastor. What were Phil and his friends anticipating? Did they imagine I would join the damning chorus? I didn’t like waiting, wondering if these students expected me to be another of their persecutors. After half an hour, Phil had to leave for class. I would not have the opportunity to offer another, a different, Christian witness before he left. Finally, I spoke. I offered a welcoming and affirming testimony as a statement of faith from a campus pastor and as a public policy that would not discriminate on the basis of orientation. I just said what I’ve come to believe: that gays and straights alike are made and blessed by God in our sexual identity and in our expression of it. Shortly, the hearing adjourned. As I started to leave, a woman student came up to me and introduced herself as Janine. She told me she’d come to this campus from half-way across the country to escape the confining ideas and repressive people of her earlier years. She also said, “I never thought I’d hear someone in the church say what you said today. Thank you.” Later that week I stopped at the campus office of the sexuality concerns commission, a visit I try to make frequently. This time, a pleasant surprise: I received a welcome hug from Janine, and a smile from Phil, who had just been elected commission chair. Further into the quarter we would all celebrate the regents’ decision to affirm the open housing policy. Janine and Phil, and many others, have felt they might never hear words of hope from the church. I understand that feeling. I thought I’d never find the congregation where I’m a member, or the ministry which I serve as pastor—both open to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. It’s a sign of the times that my church is threatened with being “disfellowshipped” (cut off from our regional body) over our stance on sexual orientation issues, and that our campus ministry is one of two in the region reprimanded for offering open studies on the Bible and homosexuality. We’ve lost some financial support, but found some friends. This is an exciting time to be in the church. It is also a frustrating time. This winter I met another student, Regina, who, coming out as a lesbian, has been rejected by family and church. She told me that her highest religious experience came in her early teens at an Easter sunrise service. She felt that God had stirred her life and spirit personally that morning. And then she began learning who she was made to be, spoke openly of her sexual identity, and was sent away. She’s begun attending our fellowship. She likes the discussion and camaraderie, but when we plan a time of worship, she tells me, “I can’t do that yet. I don’t know if I can ever believe in God again.” I can’t find the words to express my pain at hearing how her church cut her off from a young and vibrant faith. If I can’t find my words, how hard it must be for her to find words to express her many feelings and continue her search! The marvel is that she is trying. I believe that her attempt is— and that she is— a work of God. Brooke Rolston is an ordained American Baptist minister serving as campus pastor at Covenant House/Campus Christian Ministry at the University of Washington. He is a member of University Baptist Church in Seattle, a congregational member of the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists. 28 Open Hands The Trial of Jimmy Creech Mark Bowman Last summer two women attending First United Methodist Church in Omaha, Nebraska, asked the Rev. Jimmy Creech to officiate at a blessing of their relationship. He agreed, informing his bishop and his church’s Staff-Parish Relations Committee. As news of the impending ceremony began circulating among members of First Omaha, the local daily newspaper published several articles about it. The announcement that the ceremony had occurred quietly on September 14, 1997, provoked several United Methodists in Nebraska to file formal complaints with the bishop’s office. Continued outcry from a small but sizable band of dissidents at First Omaha lead Bishop Joel Martinez to suspend Creech from pastoral duties in early November. The Nebraska Conference Committee on Investigation decided in mid-January to bring formal charges against Creech for “disobedience to the Order and Discipline of the church.” Creech then requested a church trial. The basis for the charges was an amendment to the UM Social Principles adopted by the 1996 General Conference: “Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall not be conducted in our churches.” The Social Principles are “intended to be instructive and persuasive in the best of the prophetic spirit.” Creech noted that no one had been tried for violating them. Defense counsel Doug Williamson set a tone for the trial when, during jury selection, he asked how many persons in the jury pool had personal knowledge of a g/l/b person. More than half raised their hands and told of poignant interactions with parishioners, friends, family members, and even other clergy. The case presented by the church was clear-cut. Creech was called to acknowledge that he had conducted the covenanting ceremony between two women. Bishop Kenneth Hicks testified that Social Principles were unequivocal, and that a pastor must comply or leave the church. Then came the defense. A co-pastor and three leaders of Creech’s congregation testified that his ministry was effective and supported by the church’s leadership. A gay man and the mother of a gay man from the congregation witnessed to Creech as a caring and affirming pastor. Creech testified movingly about his journey as a pastor, his ministry with l/g/ b persons and their families, and his resolve that the biblical foundations of his faith and his covenant as United Methodist clergy compel him to offer pastoral services to all persons. Dr. Phil Wogaman, pastor of Foundry UMC in Washington, D.C., former ethics professor and General Conference delegate, testified about the historical role of the Social Principles as a teaching document. After three hours of deliberation, the jury returned its decision prefaced by this statement: “We have gathered in prayer, in silence, and in respectful dialogue. Our vote reflects the difficulty the general church has experienced with this issue. We have struggled— no, agonized— together in a spirit of love. Our hope is that United Methodists everywhere will receive our verdict in the spirit of love and respect.” The vote was 8 guilty and 5 not guilty. Nine votes are required for a conviction, so Creech was acquitted. Immediately after the verdict was announced, Bishop Martinez released a statement saying Creech would return to his appointment at First Omaha. The trial and its verdict resounded through the religious and secular media. About 25 print and broadcast journalists and their accompanying crews had come to Kearney, Nebraska, to cover the trial. Why did this attract so much attention? What can we learn from this? 1) The trial verdict is a reflection of where mainline churches are today, split with an antigay majority. It was fitting that this trial occurred in the “heartland.” 2) Rational discourse can lead to greater openness, and at least convinced some jury members not to discard a fine pastor, nor to send a message of inhospitality to l/g/b persons and their families. 3) It revealed how irrational some of our opposition is to believe that our own message that “everyone is welcome at God’s table” somehow excludes them. 4) The 75-100 Creech supporters reflected diversity— all ages, sexual orientations, dress, and color. The 15-20 Creech opponents were older, Anglo-European, and professionally attired. 5) The convergence of media interest in spirituality/religion and the hot issue of homosexuality offers a forum we can utilize to proclaim our welcoming message. 6) Heterosexual allies are making great sacrifices and commitments on behalf of l/g/b persons and their families. Rev. Jimmy Creech, Rev. Doug Williamson, and attorney Mike McClellan engaged the power structures of the church in this trial as the defense team. They gave countless hours and risked their careers to do so. 7) The immediate backlash against the verdict has been strong and fierce. Emotions about marriage and family along with pervasive homophobia combine to give our opposition fertile soil to cultivate. 8) Finally, never underestimate the power of God’s Spirit. Creech’s acquittal was unexpected. Yet as the trial unfolded, some observers sensed that a larger force was at play. The defense case drew upon biblical foundations. Our supporters gathered daily for prayer, blessing, and singing to invoke God’s Spirit. The prayer network across the U.S. in support of Creech was massive. We shared the confidence of the hymn that “God will raise you up on eagle’s wings.” Mark Bowman is the publisher of Open Hands and the director of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Spring 1998 29 Sustaining the Spirit Oh God, To have the courage of the bleeding woman— Trembling, but still able to reach out for healing… from shame and aloneness, from pain and despair, Without waiting for words. Oh God, To risk as did the bleeding woman— Trembling, but still able to touch another, beyond solitude and fear, Without waiting for words. Oh God, Forgive my hesitant hands, my short reach, As your Spirit moves among us still… Here to be grasped, not explained. As close as the hand of a bleeding sister, a bloodied brother, As real as the ache of my soul. Alexa Smith Prayers of the Body Moonlight crowns her head spreading toward the earth springing forth in warmth from an epicenter of calm. Her eyes are pools of cool pearlized grey which invite my soul to drink in her care. And yet beyond these lies the grace of her touch, light, but direct— gentle, of calm purpose. Now I begin to ponder the joy in me to be released, such ecstasy I can hardly comprehend: What mysteries indeed shall I know? Melinda Mclain Thank you, Heavenly Lover, for giving us love, and making it a means of grace. In each sharp sweet cut of my boyfriend’s glance, I know the intensity of your love for us. Within every crushing hug and scrape of stubbled chin on tender flesh, I feel the power and sting of your claim on us. By the chill on sweaty skin of his breath blown over my shoulders, I am quickened to the Spirit’s call. Thank you, Heavenly Lover, for giving us grace, and making it a means of love. Amen. Tim Tyner Contributing to this page are gay, lesbian, and straight, HIV positive and negative, living and passed on, members and ministers of the United Methodist Church, the United Church of Christ, the Presbyterian Church, and the Metropolitan Community Church. Previously published in More Light Prayers, the January, 1992 issue of the More Light Update the newsletter of Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns. Used by permission of the authors. Let me nestle into your lap, Mother God, as Phoebe curls in mine, Limp with trust, knowing that all is provided: shelter, protection, food, and love. Let me feel your hand stroking my head, back, tummy, legs. Gratitude overflows as a purr deep from my center. Rising and falling with the breath of life, let me rest in you, Heartbeat of the Universe. Nancy A. Hardesty Oh Loving Universe, I thank you today for the joys of friendship, for those blessed ones who spend their time curled up on the couch next to me, or holding my hand at the movies when it gets scary, or crying with me when I get bad news from the doctor. Thanks for those beautiful ones who rub my neck or give my tired feet a massage. I am grateful for friends who talk even when there isn’t much to say. Universe, I praise and bless you for the people in my life who make me so glad to be alive. Douglas Saylor 30 Open Hands Movement News Welcoming Communities More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance OPEN & AFFIRMING MINISTRIES The Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) With this issue we welcome the Disciples of Christ as ecumenical partners in Open Hands. Chalice Christian Church San Mateo, California Named after the symbol for The Christian Church, Chalice Christian Church emphasizes the importance of Communion in the congregation’s life and the radical yet reconciling nature of Christ’s table. A “Congregation In Formation” in the Northern California–Nevada Region, this community came into existence as a result of a church split in which religious freedom was a major issue, specifically, the use of inclusive language in worship. Such commitments led the congregation to decide to publicly proclaim itself Open & Affirming. Pastor, Steve Haley, writes, “We are committed to active witness and service in the wider community through both community organizing and hands-on service projects.” OPEN AND AFFIRMING United Church of Christ New Community of Faith San Jose, CA The 60 members of this suburban congregation desire to provide a strong sense of a “welcoming church family” for all those coming to the church, regardless of background. This hospitality is expressed in its ministries, which include offering meeting space for a social/support group for transvestite and transsexual persons in the community. In the coming months, the congregation anticipates a time of remembrance and renewal as, after 27 years, it prepares to say a retirement “farewell” to its founding pastor, the Rev. Richard Taylor. North Congregational United Church of Christ Columbus, OH This vibrant, growing, diverse, metropolitan area congregation of 375 is building a new wing to accommodate its church life and expanding mission. Current outreach includes ministry with homeless persons, low income families, and refugees in need of resettlement. As part of its ONA witness, the church has begun “Rainbow Women,” a fellowship group for lesbians that involves women from the congregation and the Columbus area. North Church is also part of planning for a retreat for ONA churches in Ohio. For an eyewitness account of United Methodist pastor Jimmy Creech’s trial for blessing a same-gender marriage, see“Leadership.” Baptists Struggle Over W&A Churches Church of the Covenant in Palmer, Alaska, has been removed from fellowship in the Alaska Association of American Baptist Churches and Institutions because of their “commitment to the gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in your congregation.” It joins First Baptist of Granville, Ohio, and four California churches that have been disfellowshipped by their regional associations for their W&A stance. Because these churches are not in violation of the “Covenant of Relationships” for ABC churches, they currently remain in good standing within the denomination. A Commission on Denominational Unity, formed to develop ways to deal with divisive matters like the disfellowshipping of W&A congregations, has recommended 1) Common Ground Conferences to foster greater understanding; 2) acknowledgment that regions have the right to determine criteria for their own membership, and that churches disfellowshipped from one region may affiliate with another region; 3) the maintenance of the two current denominational resolutions on homosexuality—one declaring homosexual practice “incompatible with Christian teaching,” the other recognizing differences and calling for respect and dialogue. The report will be voted on during the June meeting of the General Board. Last November, the Northwest ABC Region Board took action to refuse standing to gay clergy. At the same meeting, it received bylaw changes, to be voted on in May, that would make possible the dismissal of University Baptist Church and Seattle First Baptist, its only W&A churches. UCC ONA Churches Issues Challenge All Open and Affirming (ONA) churches in the UCC have been invited to take part in “ONA 2000: Do A New Thing!” Inspired by Isaiah 43:19-21, this is to be a time of intentional outreach to increase awareness of and commitment to our ONA witness. Between February 1998 and the ecumenical “Welcome 2000” celebration in August of that year, each congregation is asked to do one new, creative program or event. These will be highlighted in the program’s newsletter, the ONA Communiqué. MLCN and PLGC to Vote on Merger The Steering Committee of the More Light Churches Network and the Board of Directors of Presbyterian for Lesbian and Gay Concerns have announced plans to merge the two organizations. If approved by the annual meetings of both groups, the new organization will be created on January 1, 1999. A challenge grant has been given to MLCN and PLGC for the employment of a staff person to help nurture new More Light Churches and support networks for gays and lesbians in those sections of the country in which the movement is less visible. Spring 1998 31 RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS The logo is absent here and on our masthead due to objections from the United Methodist Church to our incorporation of its logo. First United Methodist Church Long Beach, California First UMC, now 114 years old, was the old downtown church with 3,000 members in the 1930s. Now the congregation, rebuilding after a long period of decline, sits at the crossroads of two very different urban worlds—a redeveloped professional neighborhood and a barrio with active gangs. The 100-member congregation is multi-ethnic and sponsors a large youth program: 200 youth come to the church on Friday night for dancing, 40 on Sundays for Bible study. The congregation’s decision to become a Reconciling Congregation was a reflection of who its members and community are. First United Methodist Church Santa Cruz, California Celebrating its 150th anniversary this year, this 180-member congregation is in transition from a largely older membership to one mixed with younger members. It has initiated a youth program in cooperation with another nearby church, and participates in several mission projects, including staffing a homeless shelter one night a week and providing food for a food closet. Santa Cruz’s significant g/l population motivated the church’s RCP discussion and decision, which had more participation than any other recent project. The church hosts a g/l square dancing group and co-sponsored a performance of the musical drama “Caught in the Middle” this winter. Trinity United Methodist Church Seattle, Washington Trinity UMC is located in the Ballard community of northern Seattle, a community which was heavily Norwegian, but now is home to many younger families of different backgrounds. This intergenerational congregation of 140 active members seeks to be a truly neighborhood church and is in a period of renewal, recently welcoming nine new members— all under the age of 40. Trinity’s large building complex provides many opportunities for community ministry, including a newly-initiated recreational program in its gymnasium. Trinity has a long tradition of outreach and its members have been involved in food and shelter ministries as part of the North Seattle Cooperative Ministry. More recently, it has brought a variety of arts into worship, including a music program with both a traditional choir and a contemporary band. As the pastor notes: “We want God to be accessible to everyone.” University Temple United Methodist Church Seattle, Washington University Temple, with 450 members, is located in the University district of Seattle, across the street from the University of Washington. It dates to the turn of the century and has been at its present site since the 1920s. The church hosts the campus Wesley Foundation, and is involved in a variety of urban ministries, including a needle exchange program, tutoring, and a care team for persons with AIDS. A key aspect of the church’s identity is its female leadership. University Temple has an informal, family-oriented worship, as well as a more traditional service, on Sunday morning. Its music program is outstanding with a fine choir (which is preparing to perform in Italy) and a concert organist. The congregation sponsors Church of the Hi Fidelity, a monthly outreach to youth, students, and g/l/b/t persons, and participates in a newlyformed ecumenical dialogue of welcoming churches in the Seattle area, presently focused on making churches more accessible to teenagers. RECONCILING IN CHRIST Lutheran Church of Honolulu Honolulu, Hawai‘i This congregation of 375 members share the theme, “Loved by God to Love the World” and will celebrate the church’s centennial during the year 2000. Located in a high-rise neighborhood two blocks from the University of Hawai‘i, a half mile from Waikiki, and nine blocks from the beach, the church is known for its fine worship, tracker organ, Bach cantatas, children’s ministry, and social concerns. Its three Sunday services reflect diversity: early morning Folk Contemporary and Lord’s Supper, midmorning Choral Eucharist, and evening Compline in Candlelight with Gregorian Chant. MORE LIGHT Presbyterian Church of the Apostles Burnsville, Minnesota Organized as a new church development in the late ’50s, the Church of the Apostles organizes its congregational life around mission through participation in Apostle Groups. Located in a suburb of Minneapolis, the congregation is a liberal presence in its community, has a continuing ministry with the mentally challenged, and is involved in the development of transitional housing. The congregation’s study toward becoming a More Light congregation was largely motivated by interested laypeople. Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence 936 North 34th Street, Suite 200; Seattle, WA 98103 USA phone 206/634-1903; fax 206/634-0115 e-mail cpsdv@cpsdv.seanet.com Rev. Marie M. Fortune, Executive Director An interreligious, educational ministry and training resource for religious communities in the U.S. and Canada. Upcoming Gatherings (Check the Winter issue for previously listed summer gatherings.) July 31-Aug. 2 Second National Gathering of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, Berkeley California. An event for members and friends of W&A Congregations. Rev. Dr. Edwina Hunter, preaching. Workshops include: Becoming a W&A Congregation, Music as an Inclusive Ministry, Sexual Ethics, Same- Sex Commitment Ceremonies, Ecumenical Connections, Being an Out Pastor, and more. Contact Esther Hargis, First Baptist Church, 2345 Channing Way, Berkeley CA 94704- 2201, phone 510/848-5838, e-mail Ehargis@aol.com QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ___ From One Womb at One Table (Fall 1997) ___ We’re Welcoming, Now What? (Winter 1998) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Selected Resources (Check authors’ bio’s for additional book listings.) Biblical Ethics & Homosexuality - Listening to Scripture, edited by Robert L. Brawley. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996. A collection of essays from nine contributors, three on methodology of biblical ethics, six on the Bible and human sexuality. Body Theology by James B. Nelson. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1992. A gay-positive, feminist, straight author explores body theology and human sexuality, with special sections on male issues and medical issues. Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Weddings, The, by Tess Ayers and Paul Brown. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1994. A secular guidebook to the details of having a same-gender ceremony. Equal Value: An Ethical Approach to Economics and Sex by Carol S. Robb. Boston: Beacon Press, 1995. The interrelationship of economic and sexual ethics. Fierce Tenderness - A Feminist Theology of Friendship by Mary E. Hunt. New York: Crossroad, 1992. A Catholic lesbian theologian suggests friendship as the paradigm for all relationships, including sexual ones. Intimate Connection, The - Male Sexuality, Masculine Spirituality by James B. Nelson. Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1988. Not just for men, an exploration by one of the leading Christian body theologians on how embodiment has shaped theology. Just Good Friends: Towards a Lesbian and Gay Theology of Relationships by Elizabeth Stuart. UK: Mowbray, 1995. An articulate resource on theological bases for lesbian and gay relationships. Love Between Women - Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism, by Bernadette J. Brooten. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1996. Parallel in stature and rigorous academic research to John Boswell’s Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, but ferreting out the ancient roots of female relationships and why early Christians resisted them. Love Does No Harm: Sexual Ethics for the Rest of Us by Marie Fortune. New York: Continuum, 1995. A further amplification of a sexual ethics of “least harm” delineated in the author’s article in this issue of Open Hands. Redefining Sexual Ethics: A Sourcebook of Essays, Stories, and Poems edited by Susan E. Davies and Eleanor Haney. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1991. A diverse collection of useful materials. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe by John Boswell. New York: Villard Books, 1994. Exciting discoveries of Christian liturgies to unite same-gender partners that pre-date Christian marriage. Sexuality and the Sacred - Sources for Theological Reflection edited by James B. Nelson and Sandra P. Longfellow. A collection of intriguing and scholarly essays from a virtual “who’s who” of thirty body theologians. Touching Our Strength - The Erotic as Power and the Love of God by Carter Heyward. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1989. This best-selling book has become a classic in l/g/b body theology, written by a lesbian feminist theologian, priest, and professor. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 13 No 4 - Treasure in Earthen Vessels: An Exploration of Sexual Ethics https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/52280cd01d55019cb5a04867135ce712.pdf 3a65af8ce49d89f7f48db48251d91979 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 14 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1998 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Both/And Rather Than Either/Or BISEXUALITY Vol. 14 No. 1 Summer 1998 What Might Jesus Think? Test Your “Bi-Q” Personal Stories How Little Gender and Orientation Tell Us 2 Open Hands Vol. 14 No. 1 Summer 1998 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples of Christ), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciling in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These six programs—along with Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1998 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 Printed on recycled paper. BISEXUALITY Both/And Rather Than Either/Or Toward a Christian Understanding of Bisexuality 4 BEN ROE Definitions, science, faith, and the imago Dei. How Bisexuality May Shape Queer Theologies 7 ROBERT E. GOSS Bisexuality as “transgressive metaphor” in doing theology. The Holy Leper and the Bisexual Christian 8 AMANDA UDIS-KESSLER Jesus’ holiness dissolves categories, boundaries, and divisions. PERSONAL STORIES Capable of Monogamy With Either Gender 11 BENTLEY DE BARDELABEN Lesbian—NOT! A Christian for Gender Independence 12 DONNA RILEY No Tidy, Carefully Labeled Box 13 KATE A Bisexual Couple’s Story 14 JOHN AND MARY Twenty-Five Years With a Woman 15 Followed by Twenty Years With a Man EUGENE BRINK Pastoring Bisexual Men on Line 16 JIM WOLFE Parable of the Good Lesbian 17 Cultural and Political Bisexuality LAURIE AUDE Test Your “Bi-Q” 18 A Sexual Orientation Worksheet BEN ROE Using the all-encompassing Klein grid, how bisexual are you? Summer 1998 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Interim Editor Chris Glaser Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 www.rcp.org Allen V. Harris Open & Affirming Minstries (Disciples of Christ) 1010 Park Avenue New York, NY 10028 http://pilot.msu.edu/user/ laceyj/ Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 www.coalition.simplenet.com Bob Gibeling Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 www.lcna.org Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 http://www.mlcn.org Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 http://users.aol.com/ wabaptists Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Margarita Suaréz, ONA Stuart Wright, RIC RCP Movement News ..................................... 29 Welcoming Communities ....................... 31 Selected Resources .................................. 32 Next Issue: A HOUSE DIVIDED Made in God’s Image 20 Re-Thinking Constructs of Gender and Orientation ANN THOMPSON COOK Embracing our call to live as if there were “neither male nor female.” Common Ground 22 Excerpts from Unplugged, A Novel in Process PAUL MCCOMAS The land heals a woman coming to terms with her bisexuality. MINISTRIES Connections Enough Already: Distractions to Justice 23 MARY E. HUNT Leadership Never Retired From Justice 24 EDWIN E. REEVES Children Children of God and the Big Lie 25 TIMOTHY TUTT Welcoming Process As Maine Goes, So Goes the Nation? 26 MARGARET MACDONALD & DOTTY KAY STILLMAN Youth Youth Suicide and the White Ribbon Campaign 27 TIMOTHY BROWN SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Super-Moral-Legalistic-Conformation-itis 28 A Camp Song for the Movement BETH GREGG AND JOHN GREGG Call for Articles for Open Hands Spring 1999 First We Listen! Voices Around the Globe Theme section: We want to hear firsthand from l/g/b/t people around the world, listening to different understandings of both sexuality and spirituality and their interrelationship in people’s lives. Do you know someone we may approach for an article? We are also interested in articles from those with experience or expertise in a culture or cultures other than the dominant majority culture of the United States and Canada. Ministries section: We are seeking columns describing practical experience and suggestions in the following areas: Welcoming Process, Connections (with other justice issues), Worship, Outreach, Leadership, Youth, Campus, Children. These brief articles may or may not have to do with the theme. Contact with idea by November 1 Manuscript deadline: February 1 Chris Glaser, Phone/Fax 404/622-4222 or e-mail at ChrsGlaser@aol.com 4 Open Hands What is Bisexuality? Bisexuality doesn’t exist,” said someone to me a number of years ago. I have heard other statements, too: Bisexuals just can’t have stable relationships. Bisexuals live in a “no one’s land.” Bisexuals are really gay people who just haven’t come all the way out of the closet. Bisexuals are really confused about their identity. Bisexuals are indiscriminate in their sexual partners. The only way to be “truly” bi is to be sexually active with partners of both sexes equally. Bisexuals are incapable of monogamy. Bisexuality “doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” Perhaps some of these statements are familiar to you. The reality of bisexuality is often denied by gay, lesbian, and heterosexual communities alike. And yet to understand bisexuality and the complexity of sexual orientation might help make sense out of some of the claims of the “transforming” or “exodus” ministries. My purpose here is to encourage a broader understanding of the complexity of sexual orientation, particularly as it is seen in bisexuality, and to encourage theological reflection which includes the experience of the range of sexual orientation. Myths and stereotypes, like the ones listed above, are a problem for bisexual folk, just as they are for gay/lesbian people. Individual bisexual persons may fit or believe one or more of these myths and stereotypes. Yet just as there is not just one homosexual lifestyle, there is not just one bisexual lifestyle, but rather, a whole range of possibilities from which each individual makes her or his own choices and decisions. Looked at in the context of the whole of what we know about human sexuality, sexual orientation is much more complex than simply the two commonly used heterosexual-homosexual categories. It is even more complex than Toward a Christian Understanding of Bisexuality J. Benjamin Roe adding a third category of “bisexual;” yet, to talk about certain realities, labels sometimes make things a bit clearer. Defining just what is meant by the word “bisexuality” is not easy. A definition that I like is: bisexuality is the presence of significant degrees of erotic attractions, erotic fantasies, and emotional preferences for members of both genders, with some recognition of their significance. Note that behavior is not a necessary part of the definition, and that recognition, or self-identification, is important. This is not a precise definition (if one were even possible), but it will do for the purpose of this article. It is important to note that bisexuality is not a discrete category, but roughly fits the middle range of scales that measure sexual orientation, such as the Kinsey scale and the Klein Grid (See the article “Test Your Bi-Q” on page 18). Research on Bisexuality The Kinsey scale is a zero to six continuum which was designed by the Kinsey researchers in the 1940’s to describe the reality they were discovering that there were not just “two kinds of people” (heterosexual and homosexual), but in fact a whole range of behaviors and “psychologic reactions” from homosexual to heterosexual and all points in between. The scale runs from zero, exclusively heterosexual, to six, exclusively homosexual, with three being equal components of both. An affirmative approach to research on bisexuality or bisexual persons has been a recent development. Ron Fox has an excellent review of this research in an article in the exceptional text, Bisexuality; The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority.1 One early study not in his review I find particularly interesting. This study pointed out some of the ways bisexual persons are different from heterosexual and homosexual persons. Pat Saliba asked self-identified heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual persons to rank themselves on three separate Kinsey scales: physical sexual activity, affectionate relationships, and erotic fantasy. Saliba sums up her research: “Sexual orientation is complex, not simple.”2 She found that people almost never rated themselves at the same point on all three scales. Within each self-identified group, there is diversity of ratings: all the homosexual persons and all the heterosexual persons weren’t exclusively so, and all the bisexual persons weren’t perfectly equal in gender preference. She found that, among the bisexual group, affectionate relationships and erotic fantasies were “almost as important as sexual activity in their decision to self-identify as bisexual.” This group also was quite diverse in the combinations of ratings among the three scales: some had only incidental sexual activity with persons of the same sex, some had only incidental sexual activity with persons of the other sex. While affectionate relationships were frequently ranked equally, “erotic fantasies were as diverse as those for sexual activity.” Saliba found “tremendous variability, in all areas” among all groups, “And yet the bisexuals are much more like one another than they are either the heterosexual or homosexual groups, and the same is true for each group.” She also found that the way sex and affection are dealt with is more related to whether one is male or female. “Sexual orientation is not only much more than who you sleep with…but it is also where your affections lie, and even more importantly, how you integrate those affections into your sexual identity.” There are different kinds of bisexuality, as well. One typology by Fritz Klein3 identified transitional, historical, sequential, and concurrent types. Transitional bisexuality can be understood as a stage in coming out homosexual, and is primarily a behavioral reality, “ Summer 1998 5 though attractions and fantasies can shift. Historical bisexuality is seen in the long sweep of a person’s life, with greater or lesser mixes of heterosexual and homosexual components. Sequential bisexuality is also seen over a period of time, with relationships being first with one and then with the other gender. Concurrent bisexuality is the maintenance of relationships with persons of both genders at the same time. Bisexual Self- Identification In my experience and that of others who self-identify as bi, bisexual persons often feel some confusion at sometimes being attracted to one and then the other gender. The either-or myth contributes greatly to this confusion. Sometimes the confusion is simply the changeability of their attractions from day to day, or week to week. It is the homosexual part of being bi that usually gives the most difficulty, so bisexual people usually need the support of gay/lesbian people, and so often are reluctant to identify as bi in gay/ lesbian circles. This seems to be changing somewhat, at least in some gay groups, but homophobia will continue to make it difficult to “come out” bi in the general society, and biphobia will make it difficult to come out in both groups. Bi people are often particularly sensitive to the importance of self-identification, growing out of the common experience of others denying their existence or defining sexuality for them. Bisexuals may come for counseling to become more comfortable with a wide range of sexual options. They may want to feel more comfortable in fantasy or behavior or both, with men and women. They may want to be monogamous. They may want to be nonmonogamous and still have a viable primary relationship with either a woman or a man. They may want to be comfortable with multiple relationships (while practicing safer sex). They may want to be more comfortable defining their own sexual options, apart from partner, peer, or society pressure. They may want to be comfortable not being sexually active with both sexes, while having feelings and fantasies about both. Bisexual persons are often more concerned about relationships than gender. The daughter of a friend of ours said she couldn’t imagine using the shape of a person’s genitals to decide whether to have a relationship with the person. This expresses well the perspective of bi people I have known. Bi folks are concerned, too, with the capacity to express relationships genitally if it is fitting, desired, and mutual. Bi persons are also often concerned about managing these relationships not only in caring ways for their partners, but also in ways that honor their own self-understanding. Bisexuality is a complex reality, and highlights the complexity of sexual orientation itself. In my opinion, the experience of bisexual persons helps illumine the wide range of the gift of sexuality, and will continue to challenge our understandings and assumptions about sexuality. Christianity and Bisexuality Christian faith communities and theological traditions, with a few exceptions, have been ambivalent about affirming that sexuality is a good gift of God. Even while affirming its goodness, they have usually attempted to silence the testimonies of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered Christians. And they have largely ignored emerging scientific consensus in their theological and ethical reflections. If people of faith were to commit to hearing the voices of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered Christians, and to honor insights and understandings of scientific research, what would be some useful possibilities for Christian theological reflection? There are some really fine treatments along these lines which often focus only on gay/ lesbian voices and experience. When the reality of bisexual and transgendered people is included, the picture of human sexuality immediately becomes more complex. What resources are there for this kind of breadth in theological reflection? There are a number of publications that could be useful for theological reflection from a perspective that includes the reality of bisexual and transgendered persons. Some of these references are listed in “Selected Resources” on the back cover. One approach to reflecting theologically on bisexuality could be to focus on the community of the church, the silencing, the judgments, the sacraments of baptism and Eucharist, and the call for just and humble actions, such as Marilyn Alexander and James Preston do in their book We Were Baptized Too.4 The emphasis of this approach is God’s inclusive grace, known through creation (the image of God),5 welcome of the stranger,6 and the sacraments of baptism and holy communion.7 Another approach is in James Nelson’s landmark book, Embodiment. It is to do “sexual theology,” that is, a twodirectional movement that takes seriously the embodied human experience, that recognizes the religious dimension of sexual questions and the sexual dimension of religious questions.8 This approach emphasizes the constellations of meaning around sexuality rather than mere sexual acts, the wholeness of human-embodied selfhood, rather than the dichotomous spiritual and sexual dualism.9 Using the Imago Dei A third approach is to use a central concept of theology such as the imago Dei, that is, that we are made in the “image of God.” As an illustration of this approach, I have chosen a recent work that focuses on lesbian and gay persons. I am unaware of a book that deals with bisexual persons that is comparable to Larry Graham’s Discovering Images of God.10 Though there is bisexual experience related in some of the interviews, there is no awareness (except in one important parenthetical remark11) of anything but a dichotomous view of sexual orientation in the book, due largely, I suspect, to his ethical accountability to those he interviewed who had this view. However, his discussion of the theological issues can be very helpful in theological reflection from a broader 6 Open Hands perspective. Out of many rich interviews and experiences, he concludes: We have seen how the intensity of erotic love in relationships of mutual sharing and commitment have healed deep wounds and opened hearts in gratitude to God for such a wonderful gift of life.12 Further, he saw something that could be said of the experience of some bisexual Christians: A sense of God’s gracious participation in life has emerged through involvement in novel forms of partnerships and families that in turn have contributed to fuller personal experiences and to richer communities.13 Graham suggests that the doctrine of the imago Dei is “central to developing a theological foundation for positive care with lesbian and gay persons.” He brings considerable insight to a position which he says “appears to represent the current prevailing position of American Protestantism toward lesbian and gay persons.”14 The main point of this position is that the image of God is heterosexuality, even as it also affirms the key place of relationships of mutuality and intimacy.15 His critique of this tradition is extensive and convincing. He notes the exclusion from consideration of “Christian tradition beyond the Bible” as well as “the concrete experiences of lesbian and gay persons,”16 to say nothing of scientific research. He outlines five inadequacies of this “current prevailing position”: First, it assumes that the materials from the tradition are given rather than creatively constructed by the best (and worst) judgments of human individuals and communities over time. Second, it assumes that its interpretations of the biblical texts are unassailable and accurately represent the selfunderstanding of the original writers. Third, it assumes that the church has always held the position they represent, rather than offering diverse interpretations of the same materials they so confidently draw on. Fourth, it assumes that the contemporary experiences of real persons cannot challenge, correct, and expand inherited traditions. Finally, it tends to “proof text” specific biblical passages for its authority, rather than placing the discussion within a larger theological horizon or context of meaning within the Bible and beyond.17 Graham discusses four additional “plausible alternative interpretations of the imago Dei.” These include the image of God as “an asexual disembodied status,” an embodied male/female existence with the male dominant, a sexless spiritual existence of male/female equality with male-dominance, and “an egalitarian partnership and fellowship” based on Phyllis Bird’s thought.18 None of these, he says, fits directly the experience of the people whom he interviewed. Instead, the work of John Douglass Hall provided the most attractive and appropriate understanding. Hall found “a subordinated strand of reflection…that sees the imago Dei as a quality of relationship instead of an essential human trait or characteristic.”19 He goes on, using this part of Hall’s work: To be in the imago Dei means to be fully ourselves— rather than living according to something externally imposed— in relationships characterized by God-like involvement in all the dimensions of our relational web: with God, our ground and source, with our fellow humans, and with the natural order. Full, authentic humanity in the imago Dei means to be with, for, and together in communion with all of these dimensions of our relatedness.20 Graham concludes with this summary: To be in the image of God is ultimately about the qualities of lovSummer 1998 7 ing communion that come into being in the universe…When reflective of the imago Dei love is…embodied, sensual, mutual, unifying, wholistic…The imago Dei is characterized by creative and just relationality in a context of accountability and mutual concern. 21 It seems to me that these insights apply as well to the experience of bisexual people of faith who, perhaps more than others, may be able to love fully without regard to gender. Contrary to the stereotype that bisexual people cannot commit to relationships, there are many who have the kinds of relationships Graham says are “reflective of the imago Dei.” There are marriages and extended marriage-like relationships in which at least one of the partners is bi. And there are intimate friendships where these qualities exist. Just as the experience of gay and lesbian people is calling the church and culture to broaden understanding of sexuality, so too is the experience of bisexual and transgendered people calling for a similar enhancement of understanding of God’s gift of human sexuality. An earlier version of this article was originally published in The New Voice of Nebraska, Vol 4, No. 3, May 10, 1987. Ben Roe, D.Min., has been married to Maggie for 29 years and has self-identified as bi for 20 years. He does computer programming and maintains the World Wide Web site for the Reconciling Congregation Program. He is active in the Reconciling/ Welcoming Church movement, Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Concerns, and Warren United Methodist Church, a small innercity church in Denver. Notes 1Fox, Ronald C, “Bisexuality in Perspective: A Review of Theory and Research,” in Beth A. Firestein, ed., Bisexuality; the Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority, (Thousand Oaks: SAGE, 1996). 2Saliba, Pat, “Research Project on Sexual Orientation,” The Bi-Monthly, newsletter of the Bisexual Center, San Francisco, Vol 6, #5, Sept.-Oct. 1982, pp. 3-6. 3Klein, Fred The Bisexual Option: A Concept of One Hundred Percent Intimacy (New York: Arbor House) in Fox, p. 22. 4Alexander, Marilyn Bennett, and Preston, James, We Were Baptized Too; Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996). 5Alexander & Preston, p 22. 6Alexander & Preston, p 46ff. 7Alexander & Preston, p 73f. 8Nelson, James B., Embodiment; An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology (New York: Pilgrim, 1978), p. 14-15. For another sexual theology that contrasts with Nelson’s, see Carter Heyward’s Touching our Strength; the Erotic as Power and the Love of God (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989). 9Nelson, p 25ff; Chap. 3 & 4. How Bisexuality May Shape Queer Theologies Robert E. Goss Excerpts from an unpublished paper, “Queer Theologies as Transgressive Metaphors: New Paradigms for Hybrid Sexual Theologies.” One of my undergraduate students at Webster University had announced to a gay group that he was a “bisexual gay.” A veteran gay activist who had grown up in the Stonewall era told him emphatically, “You can’t be both. You’ve got to be one or the other.” For that activist, my student was uttering nonsense, messing up his conceptual category of gay identity. My student muddied the category of “gay” with its fixed markers and normative boundaries by not conceptualizing in either/or dichotomies but affirming his identity within “both/and” categories of bisexual and gay. His inclusive queerness questioned established gay boundaries; it transgressed fixed identity templates of straight, bisexual, and gay. Is identity so easily confinable to fixed markers that frame the self, body, desire, and actions? Or may it be more fluid, hybrid, or contestable than we ever imagine? Can ambiguity, liminality, and diversity be included in a new queer discursive shift and subsequently in a queer theological discourse? …Bisexual theologies will certainly undermine gay/lesbian and heterosexual theological discourse. Both gay/lesbian and heterosexual theologies subscribe to the politics of otherness with an either/or paradigm, while bisexual theologies represent a subversive alternative to either/or thinking. They stress a “both/and” method that undermines either straight or gay methods of theological reflection and promote mediating methods to bridge hetero and gay theological discourses. …The development of bisexual and transgendered theologies will offend some by their inclusiveness, moving beyond binary thinking of hetero/homo and deconstruct rigid gender boundaries. Bisexual and transgendered theologies will threaten far more those gays who want to assimilate into mainstream society. …Rather than assimilate, future queer theologies will mainstream and celebrate sexual/gender diversities, shifting theological practice into new uncharted intersections of sexual, gendered identities. Robert Goss, Th.D., is the author of Jesus ACTED UP (Harper- SanFrancisco, 1993) and co- editor of Our Families, Our Values: Snapshots of Queer Kinship (Haworth Press, 1998). Goss was ordained as a Jesuit in 1976, but in 1996, transferred his clergy credentials to UFMCC. He lectures at Webster University in St. Louis and serves on the staff of the local MCC. 10Graham, Larry Kent, Discovering Images of God; Narratives of Care Among Lesbians and Gays (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1997). 11Graham, p 151. 12Graham, p 145. 13Graham, p 145. 14Graham, p 150. 15Graham, p 152. 16Graham, p 154. 17Graham, p 155-6. 18Graham, p 156-60. See Phyllis A. Bird, “Sexual Differentiation and Divine Image in the Genesis Creation Texts,” in Image of God and Gender Models, ed. Kari Elisabeth Borreson (Oslo: Solum Forlag, 1991), 16, 17. 19Graham, p 167. See Douglas John Hall, Imaging God: Dominion as Stewardship. (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1986). 20Graham, p 168. 21Graham, p 178. 8 Open Hands The Way of Jesus Jesus’ life calls to me in many ways, inviting me to love God, myself and my neighbors, to trust God utterly and relinquish my fear, to give myself in service and to strive for a justice that would do justice to God’s mercy. Jesus offers me a model of what it means to be a teacher, a healer, a servant, a prophet, a martyr. I could spend the rest of my days trying to learn from him and striving to follow him in the particularities of my own life circumstances. One lesson I draw from Jesus’ life is that God meets us where we are and welcomes us into abundance, not by demanding that we abandon our deepest selves but by offering the kingdom to us at precisely those most sad and joyous, most broken and healing, most vulnerable places. If I am to take this lesson seriously, I must ask what Jesus has to say to me as a bisexual person, capable of emotionally and sexually loving both women and men, often mistrusted and sometimes rejected by both heterosexuals and lesbian/gay people. If I am to find God in the life of the Rabbi from Nazareth, what word of hope is there for my sexual identity? Can that identity draw me closer to God, through Jesus, in some way? The gospels, of course, do not record any sayings of Jesus on homosexuality, let alone bisexuality, and it is impossible to know from the available biblical scholarship whether he was attracted to women, men, both or neither (though I would tend to doubt the last possibility). However, there is another level at which I can seek answers to my questions, one that both draws on plentiful gospel materials and goes beyond them The Holy Leper and the Bisexual Christian Amanda Udis-Kessler into mystery and silence. Jesus was not merely a teacher, preacher, healer and prophet; he was also, and centrally, a shatterer of boundaries, destroyer of margins, and dismantler of statuses in the name of God’s boundless, all-inclusive love. It is this facet of Jesus’ commitment which threatened the authorities of his time and brought him to the cross, and it is in this work of his that I find my own potential for loving beyond gender boundaries welcomed and sanctified. Questioning Traditional Values of Status Biblical scholar Marcus Borg, author of Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time : The Historical Jesus & the Heart of Contemporary Faith,1 among others, has detailed the status-driven politics of holiness and purity among Jews in Jesus’ culture. Today’s commonly recognized forms of social inequality— racism, sexism, class inequality, heterosexism, ageism, ableism and the like— derive largely from what we might call hierarchical dualisms, value systems in which two opposite social categories are defined, one of which is valued (white, male, rich, heterosexual, adult, healthy, ablebodied) and one of which is devalued (person of color, female, poor, lesbian/ gay, very young or very old, ill, disabled). Social inequality in Jesus’ time depended similarly on hierarchical dualisms, with related but differently conceived categories. At the core of what Borg calls the politics of holiness was the question of whether a given individual was pure or impure, clean or unclean; the answer meant the difference between social welcome and social disapproval, even ostracism— which, in such an honorand- shame-based culture, amounted to social death. On the pure/clean/valued side of the equation were rich (or at least economically solvent) Jewish men in good health and in a position to count themselves among the righteous by following the extensive Jewish laws in their entirety. Among the impure, unclean and devalued were the poor, Gentiles, women, the sick, and those Jews considered sinners for not being able to keep the laws (usually by virtue of being poor, women, sick or some combination of all three). Jesus’ frequent references to whores and tax collectors should be understood in this context; whores (unchaperoned women, some of whom were actually prostitutes) and tax collectors (seen as shills for the occupying Roman empire, forced to handle “profane” money, trusted about as much as young African- American men are trusted by security guards in stores today) were among the biggest “sinners” in the purity system. It is not a coincidence that Jesus welcomed them over and over again, told stories in which God’s love for them was clear, and told the purveyors of the purity system that tax collectors and prostitutes were getting into the There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28 If Jesus is holy, then clearly holiness is not about separation. Mike Riddell, Third Way, 12/96; quoted in The Other Side, May-June 1997, p. 57 Summer 1998 9 kingdom of God before the so-called righteous. Jesus could offer this welcome to outcasts because of his own experience of God’s love and welcome, which Jesus translated into a call to be compassionate as God is compassionate (Lk 6:36)— that is, beyond boundaries. He spoke of a gracious Father who sends rain on the just and unjust, urged his followers to love not just neighbor but enemy as well, and instituted a new social structure for eating, a table fellowship in which rich and poor, righteous and sinner, men and women were at the same table in total violation of the purity rules.2 He treated women, Gentiles, the poor and the sick with dignity and respect (with one interesting exception, Mt 15:21-28, in which he came around at the end), and he welcomed children, considered nobodies in his culture.3 He challenged his culture’s hierarchical family structure in ways that would horrify today’s “family values” crowd if they paid attention to it,4 and he skewered wealth,5 piety, and prestige6 as marks of status. He also engaged in what AIDS activists would call a direct action against Purity Central (the Temple, heart of the politics of holiness). Jesus apparently saw God’s graciousness as shattering boundaries and understood the appropriate human response as right relationship with God, others and self, which likewise required boundary shattering. Jesus offered us/ called us to liberation from legalisms into love, from class into compassion, from status into solidarity. (My best understanding of the realm of God today is that it is simply life in love, compassion and solidarity with self, others and the Holy.) Jesus as Holy Unclean Perhaps Jesus’ most awesome boundary destruction took place in his healing work. Sickness was a mark of uncleanness, and many of the people he healed were doubly unclean, such as Gentiles, or the woman with a “bleeding problem,” since Jewish law defined menstrual blood as an unclean substance. 7 Jesus also healed on the Sabbath, breaking the temporal boundary between sacred and profane (Mt 12:10- 13; Lk 13:10-17). While the story about the demoniac in the graveyard (Mk 5:1- 17) is probably not historically accurate, it fits what we know of Jesus that he would enter a graveyard (unclean) inhabited by a man with unclean spirits (worse) and send them into a herd of nearby pigs (the most unclean animal, according to Jewish law). Crossing the barriers between healthy and sick people allowed Jesus to offer people with little hope a chance to cross back into the world of the well, but he was only able to do this by himself crossing into the world of the sick and, therefore, the world of the unclean. Most of the time, when Jesus healed lepers, he touched them (Mt 8:2-4, Lk 7:22). Touching a leper meant that Jesus took on leprosy himself, both in the sense of risking exposure to what we would today call an eczema or psoriasis condition, and in the sense of socially becoming a leper for all intents and purposes. Jesus, beloved of God, chose uncleanness to offer healing, but rather than simply becoming a leper, he sanctified leprosy. Lepers in Jesus’ culture lost any status as clean that they might have had earlier once their condition became public. Jesus, however, appears to have been able to interact with lepers without losing his “clean” status, perhaps due to his healing ability or the authority with which he taught. At least, there is no evidence that he either behaved as an unclean person was supposed to or that he was treated as unclean by those around him. Thus, Jesus became what we might call a holy leper or a God-filled outcast. He was somehow simultaneously clean and unclean, an impossibility in the face of the dualism at the heart of the politics of holiness. His impossible status did what no political protest of the time could have done: it collapsed the core of the dualism undergirding the politics of holiness. In other words, by becoming a holy leper, Jesus demolished the categories of “holy” and “leper” as hierarchical opposites, freeing lepers to be holy and enabling those people defined as pure (e.g. the Pharisees) to encounter their own “uncleanness.” 10 Open Hands At-One-Ment Without Bloodshed This perspective on uncleanness is, I suspect, an uncommon way to think about Jesus’ gift to humanity. Christians are more likely to focus on Jesus’ bridging the gap between humanity and divinity by the way he died, or to argue (as René Girard) that Jesus undid the “scapegoat mechanism” of human culture and religion, revealing that God had no thirst for sacrificial blood.8 However much these characterizations of Jesus’ work may speak to me, I am most awed and humbled by his willingness to become unclean and his resulting conquest over “uncleanness” and the “pure/impure” dichotomy which has fueled so many hierarchical dualisms. For this work of Jesus offers me hope that my bisexuality, far from being a sin, disease, or case of confusion, might be God’s way of working gracefully in me against exclusivism and categorization, on behalf of God’s joyful and inclusive commonwealth. Different people, of course, have different gifts, challenges and life missions, and I don’t mean to suggest that being bisexual is in any way better than the alternatives, or that everyone must become bisexual in order that “Thy kingdom come” (that would require a miracle beyond any we see in the scriptures!). It does seem to me, though, that Jesus the holy leper is well-situated to welcome Amanda the “neither gay nor straight/both gay and straight,” to challenge me and to reassure me. Jesus the holy leper speaks to my bisexuality by offering me a model for life outside the boundaries of destructive hierarchical dualisms. Jesus does not appear to have spent much energy worrying about the impossibility of his status, since there was too much kingdom work to do and since his experience was that nothing was impossible with God. If I am to follow Jesus in this way, I can and must relinquish my concerns and anger about people who deny the existence of bisexuality. Let them believe what they believe; in the meantime, I’d rather work on bringing the commonwealth a little closer than wrangle over the “truth” of my sexual identity. If bisexuof God’s realm, part of the solution rather than part of the problem (as the street evangelists would have it). The “symptom of sin and alienation” so derided by biblical literalists can actually be a gift of grace to draw me closer to God the Great Lover, as I seek the kingdom through my bisexuality and offer that bisexuality back to the kingdom again. I pray in Jesus’ spirit that this work may give shape to my days, I offer thanks for a God who won’t let mere human boundaries stop love, and I praise the Rabbi whose love took him beyond all such boundaries in God’s service. Amanda Udis-Kessler is a Unitarian Universalist writer, musician/ composer, sociologist and anti-oppression educator, living in the Boston area. She is currently working on a sociology dissertation on inequality, and hopes to attend seminary in a few years. This essay originally appeared in the Nov./ Dec. 1997 issue of Whosoever, a website (www.whosoever.org) edited by Candace Challew, and will appear in updated form in a book of writings by bisexual people of faith currently in process. Notes 1Marcus Borg, Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time: The Historical Jesus and the Heart of Contemporary Faith (New York: Harper Collins, 1994), Chapter 3. Also see his Jesus, A New Vision: Spirit, Culture and the Life of Discipleship (New York: HarperCollins, 1987), Chapter 5. 2Mt 9:10, Mk 14:3-9, Lk 11:37-38, 14:1, 19:1- 10 3Mt 18:1-6, 10; 19:13-14; Lk 9:46-8, 10:38- 42, 21:1-4; Jn 4:5-42, 8:1-11 4Mt 8:21-2, 10:34-7, 12:48-50, 23:9; Lk 11:27-8, 14:26 5Mt 6:19-21, 24; 19:21-4; Lk 4:13-14, 6:20, 24, 30, 34-5; 12:15-21, 14:33, 16:19-25 6Mt 6:1-6, 16-18; Mk 9:35, 12:38-9; Lk 14:7-11, 18:10-14 7Mt 8:5-13, 15:21-8; Lk 17:1-19; Mt 9:20-22 8René Girard, Violence and the Sacred. English translation by Patrick Gregory (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1977). ality really is a threat to the gay/straight dichotomy, if it challenges people overly invested in the status quo on both sides of the equation, perhaps that’s because it is supposed to do so. In the meantime, says Jesus, I’m free to stop worrying about rejection and to offer such healing as is mine to give by crossing boundaries in love. He challenges me to do this work in remembrance of him, and if the boundaries I cross are somewhat different than the boundaries he crossed, so be it (though the people defined as unclean today include sexual minorities of all stripes). Bisexuality as Living Atonement I suspect that, in addition to my being called to feed the hungry, attend to the sick, visit the prisoner and house the homeless as much as anyone else on the planet, I’m also called to find ways to use my bisexuality, my form of “holy leprosy,” in the service of inclusivity and welcome. I can, for example, strive to make God’s love manifest in all of my relationships, sexual and nonsexual, regardless of the genders involved. I can refuse to behave as though men were superior to women (traditional sexist values) or as though women were superior to men (a common response to sexism, but not, I think, the ultimate word about who we can be as human beings). I can offer particular encouragement to others who cross boundaries of gender, sexuality, race, and class, by word and by example, and I can try to be alert to the unique, wonderful and surprising gifts of individuals without either disregarding or idolizing their gender identities. These kinds of work are not limited to bisexual people, of course, but my bisexuality can help me carry them out. Undoubtedly, there are more tasks ahead which I cannot envision now, but for which my bisexuality will also be a gift. Finally, then, Jesus does offer a word of hope for my sexual identity. Jesus’ example, if “translated” as I have tried to do here, reassures me that if I live my bisexuality with such kingdom values as love, compassion, honesty, integrity and forgiveness, my sexual identity can and will be used in the service Summer 1998 PERSONAL STORIES 11 I am an African-American, bisexual, male. For me, a bisexual is a person who is capable of having a monogamous, loving, respecting, mutual, sexual relationship with either a male or a female. My definition does not offer license for one to have two simultaneous relationships with both genders. The morals on which I was reared and the tenets of my faith do not permit me anything that is not a one-to-one relationship. Anything outside of this for me would serve either as deception, polygamy, or adultery. As a young lad growing up on the east coast, I knew very early on that I was attracted to both girls and boys, women and men. Even while watching television or going to the movie theater I was enchanted by the sexual presence and charm of both Doris Day and Rock Hudson or Pam Grier and Fred Williamson. I would not discover until my teenage years that I was actually very different than most other boys in my neighborhood. Playing contact sports with some of the fellas was always extra stimulating. In addition, I was more sensitive to things in my world that most teenage boys would ignore. Once my classmates began to get wind of this, I became the target of much ridicule and harassment. I felt much guilt and shame. My saving grace was that I had a gift for academic excellence which provided me many scholastic opportunities. But it did not erase my feelings of marginalization. I did not fit into the dominant culture’s perspective of how a “normal” teenage boy was to behave. I attempted to hide my true feelings for as long as possible. I dated the girls in my class to whom I was attracted, but I would only fantasize about boys of whom I was enamored. In college the rules out of which I operated began to change. I was able to know gay and lesbian students and faculty on campus. Now I could finally date both men and women. Wow! There were times when I thought that I was in heaven and other times when I was in hell. I was in heaven because I was now free to date other men. I was in hell because in many of my social circles it was unacceptable. It was quite a chore trying to understand the nuances of my sexuality. Many of both my gay and straight friends with whom I would share my secret insisted that I choose one preference or the other. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that I was physically and mentally attracted to both. I fell in love with a young man who would eventually break my heart. One day he told me that he was engaged to be married after graduation. He said that being in a homosexual relationship was not an option for him. I was crushed. A couple of years later I fell in love with a beautiful single mother with one young son. Eventually, we married. Our union lasted for many years, and together we had another son and a daughter. As time passed our paths drifted apart and our marriage ended. Soon thereafter, I entered into a homosexual relationship which would also last for many years. But it too eventually came to an end. Currently I am laying the foundation for a wonderful longterm relationship with a handsome, creative, witty, and sexy young man. I have often heard that the third time around is the charm. All I know to do is trust in God and hope for the best. I feel as if the heavens are smiling down upon me. This one is definitely a keeper! Praise be to God! My present relationship unfolds in the same way that it would if I were in a heterosexual union. We respect each other. We love each other deeply. We uphold the fidelity of our covenant. We are committed to one another. Lastly, we bring to one another integrity and grace as it is liberally given to us by our Creator in the heavens above. Though this journey as a bisexual continues to bring new challenges, I would not trade it for any other. I realize that I would not be who and what I am today without having had these experiences. Today, I live my life as an out bisexual male. In doing so, there is much liberation and joy. But as life sees fit, there are also times of struggle and pain woven into the fabric of this bold declaration. Some people are extremely bigoted, and hate language tears down the spirit and soul. Yet I believe that what I do and how I live out my life is God’s will for me and not my own. To openly live my life while acting as an agent of change eventually makes life easier, not only for myself but for others who will come after me. My hope is that my story will uplift at least one who is feeling hopeless, without love or compassion, one who will realize that life is worth living and that God loves and meets him or her wherever his or her journey has led. Within the next year I will be leaving seminary to begin a call to pastoral ministry. I believe that Jesus would be pleased with the way that I have responded to his call. The road that I travel is jammed with those who have been marginalized, brokenhearted, disenfranchised, sick, abandoned, and weak. Yet the mission of the church is to care for “the least of these.” By doing so, I trust that God will allow me to bring God’s healing love into God’s global community, one person at a time. All of this I have come to know through the love of Jesus Christ, the savior of my soul. With each day’s end, I am offered a new beginning to become more like Christ, to become more human. Fully accepting my sexuality and my call to ministry. Fully loving myself and neighbor. Fully out of the closet. Bentley de Bardelaben was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and received his B.A. from Columbia College in Chicago. He left a conservative denomination to join the UCC, and is currently an M.Div. student at Eden Theological Seminary in St. Louis. He is a member of First Congregational Church of Memphis. He is the father of two boys and a girl. Capable of Monogamy With Either Gender Bentley de Bardelaben 12 PERSONAL STORIES Open Hands My experience of being bisexual in the church isn’t very different from my experience outside the church; I find the same invisibility, stereotypes and assumptions, even in a church that’s welcoming. For example, in an adult Sunday school class, a longtime advocate for gay and lesbian concerns expressed his discomfort with including bisexual and transgender people in the movement. He repeated some common misconceptions about promiscuity as the behavior that defines bisexuality. While I appreciated his honesty, his statement drove a wedge between us and our work for justice in the Presbyterian Church. Invisibility also remains a problem for me in my congregation. When the person coordinating a discussion on sexual orientation for our high schoolers asked me to speak about what it was like to grow up lesbian, I reminded her that I am bisexual and offered to discuss my experience. She canceled the discussion topic, saying she felt it was better not to “confuse” the youth. I was annoyed that she found bisexuality confusing (though it is better than believing that bisexuals are confused). What frustrated me more, however, was that I had previously come out to her. My congregation prefers to see me as a lesbian because my partner of three years is a woman. For them, my behavior defines my identity. Bisexuality, like most ambiguity, makes church people very uncomfortable. Bisexual people cannot be determined or limited by the gender of a present partner. Imagining “bisexual behavior” is likely to conjure images of sordid threesomes from bad porn movies. Consider commentary from the Presbyterian Review’s website1 on last year’s Amendment A, which would have required “fidelity and integrity in all relationships of life” of ordained officers. “How does one maintain ‘fidelity’ in all the relationships of life?” wrote one contributor. “It’s an oxymoron. It runs contrary to simple definitions. Can one act with fidelity in a bisexual relationship? [Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns] seems to argue that this is moral sexual behavior.” The writer’s “simple definition” is too simple, because there is no single type of “bisexual relationship.” For some, a monogamous opposite-sex relationship adhering to fidelity in the covenant of marriage constitutes a “bisexual relationship,” while others choose less conventional relationships. Moreover, many bisexuals can and do practice fidelity in our relationships, conventional and unconventional, monogamous and polyamorous. At least bi people are now visible to the church’s right wing; I had previously maintained that injunctions against ordaining “self-affirming, practicing homosexuals” did not apply to me. When monosexual people get beyond the stereotype that all bisexuals need to have both sexes at once (or “anything that moves”), then it occurs to them that bisexuals have a “choice” about being with a man or a woman (read: a choice to be gay or straight if you define identity by behavior). This notion of choice gives those who obsess over what we do in bed fodder for their control fantasies (and false hope for their change ministries). Bisexuality uniquely challenges all of us concerned about sexual justice to move beyond the debates about “choice” to a liberation in which we value samesex and mixed-sex expressions of love without shame or apology, without valuing one over the other. When bisexuals will not be defined in terms of our primary relationships, it raises uncomfortable questions for the church, like what other qualities might determine sexual identity? We must ask about our feelings and fantasies, about the possibility that there are different kinds of relationships that we experience as affectionate, sensual and even sexual to varying degrees. What then is our sexual ethic? My own denomination, which cannot seem to approve a sexual ethic more profound than “just say no,” has a lot to learn from the bisexual community. While there is no agreement among bisexuals about complex issues like monogamy, the bisexual community has pondered sexual ethics for years and has held up ideals of mutuality, respect, honesty, trust, and consent. Nonmonogamy gets projected onto bisexuals, but we must remember that many monosexuals are non-monogamous. As a feminist, bisexuality means to me that gender is not a defining factor in my choice of a partner. Bisexual feminist Rebecca Kaplan notes that bisexuality is defined in terms of gender (as opposed to, say, one who dates lefties and righties) because gender is a primary division in our society. When gender can be seen as a continuum and when gender-role expectations are relaxed, misogyny and gender discrimination will begin to subside, transgender people will be freer to be and become who they are, and the church will be less transfixed on the genitalia of our partners. This is how feminist, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender concerns interrelate. I am, as Hal Porter, retiring pastor of Mt. Auburn Presbyterian Church, puts it, a “Presbyterian for gender independence.” The church isn’t bi-positive, even in the most progressive congregations, and it won’t get there unless more bi people— myself included—become more outspoken and take risks. As the overall movement for sexual justice in the church progresses, bisexual people must continue to be visible so that we can challenge the church to develop a sexual ethic that speaks to the realities of our relationships and our lives. Donna Riley serves on the executive board of Presbyterians For Lesbian & Gay Concerns and is the group’s “Webspinner”: http://andrew.cmu.edu/~riley/PLGC.html Note 1http://www.frii.com/~mvpc/gaweb/updates/ sep15.htm Lesbian—NOT! A Christian for Gender Independence Donna Riley Summer 1998 PERSONAL STORIES 13 The summer I turned 20, I met a woman. I was home from college and working a summer job at an art museum. She worked in another department at the museum and somehow we started having lunch together every day. That summer I was dating a boy from home, and writing to a boy from college, on whom I had a major crush. I need to tell you that I went to an evangelical college where you sign a pledge not to drink or dance, and there’s daily chapel. Anyway, this woman was about 15 years older than me, from a different race and culture, and she was amazing— creative and beautiful and outrageous. She was the free-est person I’d ever met. Even now, almost 20 years later, I smile when I think of her. In the course of this friendship she told me that she was bisexual and that there were rumors about us at the museum. I was perplexed. I dated boys in college and was desperately attracted to them—and to her. Eventually I realized that our relationship was based on romantic feelings, and I had to decide: was that OK? One day she said something I knew was true but didn’t know I knew until she said it: she said that when she fell in love with someone, she fell in love with the person and the gender didn’t matter. I thought, Yes, that’s the way I feel. It made so much sense to me then. It felt so true. It still does. As it turned out, though we were friends for many years, we only were romantically involved that summer, and it was pretty tame. But it was the first time I acknowledged a fundamental truth about myself. My attachments didn’t have to fit in a specific, tidy, carefully labeled box. I had a glimpse then of what I now firmly believe: people are terribly complex, and human sexuality is complicated and wonderful and messy and big— bigger than I had been led to believe by my church and my teachers. I don’t always understand sexuality and how it’s expressed by others, and that’s OK. I don’t have to always understand. I take it as a mystery, a gift, a present from God. I take it as part of the abundant life we’re promised in Christ. I take it as good. Before that summer, I dated several men. After that summer, my interest in and attraction to maleness and particular men didn’t change. But I was attracted to femaleness, too, and attracted to particular women. I decided to accept it. I didn’t talk about it— it wasn’t safe at that college. In retrospect, I haven’t often felt like it was safe. Three things kept me from being really conflicted about my sexual orientation. First, my parents were very calm and sane about sexuality in general. They were not religious and they had a ‘live and let live’ mentality about other people, so I did not grow up hearing negative things about homosexuality. Second, I joined an Episcopal church where there was a lot of acceptance of people who were different. And third, most of my pals in college were theater types who were rebels and seekers, open to just about anything. I came to the conclusion that sex is wonder and challenge and joy and connection and healing and struggle— and fun. Since then, I’ve had relationships with men and women (although never at the same time— that never felt honest to me). I’ve said that I’m attracted to a person first and gender is secondary. I’ve learned that gender is a big part of who a person turns out to be. I find certain things about men to be exciting and endearing. I find certain things about women exciting and endearing. I’ve learned and enjoyed different things in different relationships, things that couldn’t be predicted by the gender of the other person. For nearly 20 years now I’ve been a member of an Episcopal church that is welcoming of gay and lesbian people. It was there that I met the man who is my life partner. It surprised some of my friends that I decided to get married. I have no way to explain it except that I deeply love this person. He and I share common values and dreams and affection. He’s wonderful. I fell in love; it wasn’t on purpose. We were together for a couple of years before we decided to have the benefit of “holy matrimony,” as it says in the Book of Common Prayer. We both come out of a very liturgical spirituality; it made sense and felt right to express our relationship in a sacramental way. My partner knows about my previous relationships. We made a commitment to be faithful to each other, just like other people do. We struggle with it, just like other people do. While I did not choose to be bisexual, I choose how to act on my sexuality. I decide to be faithful to my spouse day after day—no matter to whom I’m attracted. I’m not saying that it’s easy, because anyone in a long-term relationship knows it’s not. But it’s the choice I keep making. Because of my situation I sometimes feel invisible. It’s uncomfortable when straight people just assume I’m straight. It’s a fair assumption, but it feels dishonest not to say something. Yet I’m wary of self-disclosure. I’ve also encountered some apprehension from gay and lesbian people. Some people seem to think bisexuality is not a real orientation— they think that someday I’ll “really” come out. Or imply that I was just experimenting in my youth, as if the previous 10 years were just some sort of phase. And some folks think that being bisexual means that I must have multiple simultaneous relationships, which has never been true for me. Because my sexual orientation may be interpreted to reflect on my spouse— who is in a line of work in which this relationship can have implications for his credibility—I’m not very open about my sexuality. It’s because of this—and because of my own employment for a national church body— that I’m not signing my name to this article. This pains me; it feels like cowardice. On one hand, I say that my sexual/affectional orientation is a gift, and I yet I’m afraid to disclose it. What kind of gift is that? I hope someday to live in a world where this would not be an issue; or to be a person who could take that kind of risk. Until then, sign me— Kate Kate works for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and worships with her husband of many years in an Episcopal Church. No Tidy, Carefully Labeled Box Kate 14 PERSONAL STORIES Open Hands It’s been over twenty years since we met one spring weekend. We are a man and a woman who happen to be bisexual and who have been together over two decades. In that time, monogamy has never been a dimension of our relationship. Indeed, the weekend we met and became lovers, we compared stories of our past sexuality and each found in the other an amazingly kindred spirit. The mid ’70s were the height of the counterculture. We were both peace activists, and that weekend we were visiting a collective household of other activists. We were all seeking to live a simple lifestyle apart from the war-making U.S. government and profit-driven multinational corporations. Feminism was an even stronger point in our ideology (and remains so). Many of us felt that capitalism, racism, sexism and all of the other trappings of traditional U.S. society had to go— including traditional marriage. Both of us had been recently divorced, following tumultuous “open marriages.” Despite the disastrous endings to our earlier attempts at open relationships, both of us were convinced that sexual possessiveness was among the ills of which society needed to be cured. At the time, I was an explicitly non- Christian attender of Friends meetings. Mary attended meeting as well, but described herself as a “feminist Christian,” a term I told her was an oxymoron on the same level as “military intelligence.” Despite the teasing, it was clear to each of us that we were called to our countercultural stand, called to be prophetic voices for social change and justice. Soon our relationship expanded to embrace another equally-minded young man. The three of us shared our activism, our income, and our bed. We bought a home together, and lived together happily for over five years. About the time he left, we got involved with another woman who was our partner for another five years. After she moved on, more and more people were seeing us as a couple, and soon we announced our partnership in a ceremony we wrote ourselves. Several ordained ministers officiated. The word marriage was never mentioned, and the ceremony included no marriage license, no vows of sexual fidelity, and no exchange of rings. It was, in short, a commitment service, not a wedding. Because we are of the opposite sex no one raised any question. This heterosexual privilege is something about which we continue to feel some guilt. It is very easy for us to pass as straight. Yet in our private lives we are living out a sexual identity that would not be easily understood or accepted. Often we have chosen not to reveal it. In some respects this article is a coming out to those of our friends who recognize us in it. Church friends, we are not as straight as we may appear! A couple of times each month we attend parties where like-minded couples meet. Many couples in our group have been married for twenty years or more, and some have been lovers for many decades. These “alternate lifestyle” clubs have few rules, but one is cardinal—“no” means no. All sex is consensual, mutual, and responsible— meeting, we believe, all the criteria for ethical sexual behavior discussed in the last issue of Open Hands. We only party with friends we meet through the lifestyle, and would never dream of recruiting either our straight or gay friends to this. Interestingly enough, though female bisexuality is widely accepted in the lifestyle, male homophobia is rampant. A few have been actively working against this homophobia, and we both now help lead a workshop on “bisensuality” each year at a national lifestyle convention of 500 people. Gradually we are breaking down the stereotypes, and men are learning to be sensual with one another. In all this we are out as Christians. Most Sunday mornings we are in church. We have supported one another in our ministries and spiritual development even as we have explored our sexuality separately and together. As our sexual life has grown, so has our spiritual life. When my congregation began studying the issue of homosexuality, we began to openly claim “bisexual” as an identity for this checkered sexual life we share. People are quick to say “being bi doesn’t mean you’re promiscuous.” And indeed, many bisexual people are faithful to one person while acknowledging the potential of attraction to others. But others are nonmonogamous and feel that to be otherwise would be to deny an important part of ourselves. It seems to me that many people are willing to accept those who are not straight so long as their relationships mimic those of heterosexual couples. Yet we believe that to identify oneself as bisexual is to accept ambiguity in life, a blurring of gender roles socially and in intimate relationships. In our view, bisexuality opens up the possibility of choice not just of a sexual partner but of a style of relationship. Recently a local pastor offered a brief meditation on the resurrected Jesus appearing to his disciples as they fished and advising them where to cast their nets, a story found in John 21. She noted that verse 11 says the net held 153 fish— that is, every species of fish known to humanity at the time. And the net held them all. The church is a net, she concluded, and it too can hold every kind of fish without tearing. Mary and I are pretty strange fish, but we believe God made us that way, and we join God in saying, “It is good!” John and Mary (pseudonyms) live in a southeastern city and are active in two different welcoming congregations. Mary sings in the choir. John regularly leads Bible study. Mary is on the staff of another welcoming congregation as well. You can reach them at BiChristians@juno.com A Bisexual Couple’s Story John and Mary Summer 1998 PERSONAL STORIES 15 I am convinced that it is not possible to change our sexual orientation. At the same time, I know that many people fall between the ends of the sexual spectrum. There are bisexuals who, when they meet the right person, can have significant relationships with either men or women. And there are bisexuals who can move from a homosexual to a heterosexual “lifestyle” or, for that matter, from a heterosexual to a homosexual pattern. My own life is a case in point. I grew up in an era when the only sexual education was the crude jokes heard from adults and peers. I fell in love and married when I was 21 years old. It was several years later that homosexual feelings began to manifest themselves. My wife died of cancer after 28 years of a good marriage. Several years later I fell in love with another man and began a relationship which lasted 20 more years before he also died of cancer. I am sure that there are those who would say that my marriage was just a cover-up to enable me to do ministry in a society and church that are homophobic. I have heard that said of others. But that was not the case for me. I found myself capable of physical and emotional love in both cases, which is what the term bisexuality describes. My experience is not unique. A great many men who are married to women carry on active sexual activities with other men. The ease with which people confined in a same-sex environment (such as the military and prisons) adopt same-sex activities is further evidence that many of us, perhaps most of us, are capable of bisexuality. As James B. Nelson puts it: Though it appears clear scientifically that sexual orientations are seldom if ever “either-or”— either completely heterosexual or completely homosexual— we are still so rooted in the dualisms of sharply distinguished opposites that we find it almost impossible to deal with the pervasive realities of bisexuality.1 I am convinced that the neat division of people into two classes, straight and gay, heterosexual and homosexual, simply does not describe human beings adequately. Many people would classify any person who has had any sexual experience with persons of the same gender as homosexual. There even seems to be great reluctance in the gay community to admit that there are many people who are bisexual. Yet I believe that sexual “purity” may be as rare as racial purity. God seems to delight in variety, not uniformity. We human beings may pride ourselves in our ability to create, for example, an endless number of Coke bottles, all identical. God, on the other hand, enables endless diversity, from snowflakes to fingerprints to sexual natures. This should be a cause for celebration, but our human tendency is to fear diversity. Conformity is more comfortable. Our lives may become difficult when we discover that diversity exists not only outside of us, but within us. I am not the first to suspect that much of the passion behind homophobia is fueled by unrecognized or unacknowledged homosexual feelings. The homophobic individual seeks the destruction of homosexual persons as a way of denying or destroying his or her own homosexual feelings. My hatred of “them” gets mixed up with my hatred of parts of myself. Thus one of the potential poisonous fruits of human bisexuality is homophobia. But it need not be so. Understanding the variety of human sexuality in the human family and within ourselves can lead us to a new appreciation of the divine creativeness and our human potential. Eugene Brink was born in Tampa, Florida, and reared in Michigan and Texas. He was educated at Rice and Texas Christian Universities, earning B.A., M.Div, and D.Min. degrees. He was baptized and later ordained at Heights Christian Church in Houston. He served Disciples of Christ congregations in Louisiana, Texas, and Colorado. He has two sons, a daughter, and a foster son. He has retired and lives in Colorado Springs. Note 1 James B. Nelson, Body Theology (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 1992), p. 17 Twenty-Five Years With a Woman Followed by Twenty Years With a Man Eugene Brink 16 PERSONAL STORIES Open Hands As the Shakers sung, lots of folks are blessed with the gift of simplicity: to be simply heterosexual or homosexual. It is not so for those of us with the “mixed blessing” of being in the middle range of the Kinsey scale (or the more complicated Klein grid). Our lives are further complicated if we are married. It has been my privilege to participate in an on-line bulletin board for bisexual married men and more recently in an offshoot for such men who are out to their wives. In so doing, I have observed how various men handle their other-than-simple lives and how they seek freedom to be themselves while minimizing hurt to those they love. Most of the older men were less than fully aware of their bisexual orientation at the time of marriage. Many of the younger men knew their orientation but did not accept it or thought marriage would cure them of the urge for male-male intimacy. A few had lived in a gay relationship before falling in love with a woman (sometimes to their own surprise). Many shared that they had been “the best little boy in the world,” excelling in school, participating in church, serving as altar boys. They continued to meet the expectations of others by launching illustrious careers, getting married, and raising families. Most kept their bisexuality a guilty secret and suppressed their wish for male-male sex; an awful lot also suffered from low self-esteem and even clinical depression. The sense of liberation was palpable for many when discovering others like themselves on-line. Many men refer to life as a roller coaster in the period following coming out to their wives. The wife’s first reaction is likely to be bafflement and denial. She may be pleased by his forthrightness, a welcome relief from his previously distant attitudes. The man who had been tied up in knots may suddenly be more affectionate. Intimacy may be enhanced. She may be curious and even turned on by the disclosure of his sexual adventures. As Amity Buxton puts it, when the gay/bisexual husband comes out of the closet, the wife goes in. She is confronted by a reality which she may have hardly suspected or thought had been overcome, which might change her status in the community if known, and she may know of no one to turn to for support. The wife may endure selfblame, crushed dreams, and a crisis of faith. She may feel cheated (even if he is not “cheating”) because the man she is living with is not the man she thought she married. And if she cannot depend on the man she knows best being as he appears, the whole world becomes less reliable. While some couples go on for years without resolving issues definitively, many come to a rather stable resolution in time. Some husbands preserve their marriages by agreeing to be faithful but feel good about acknowledging who they are. They may decide to live out their homosexuality only in their fantasy life. They may cultivate gay friends or frequent the gay scene. One man found that exploring new ways that he and his wife could relate sexually relieved him of his need for men. There are those who revise their marriage vows to take into account the man’s bisexual orientation and reforge their understanding of fidelity to include some form of same-gender expression. One man married a man as well as a woman (his wife took part in the ceremony), and the three of them live under the same roof. One man shares time equally with a man and a woman. One couple has found a man they both like with whom they share sexual intimacy. In a couple in which both are bisexual, each has a partner of the same sex. One man finds having several male friends fulfilling for him and less threatening to his marriage. How does one pastor to men such as these? Sympathetic listening is part of it. I try to counteract bad religion. I undercut self-loathing rooted in biblical misinterpretation. I seek to counteract the anti–body and anti–erotic biases of inherited Hellenistic Christianity with the earthy and lusty affirmations of Judaism and from other spiritual paths. I assert the good news of the gospel. I affirm our creation by God. I remind them of the need for self-love; for example, I advised one man to consider himself and his wishes rather than abandoning a satisfying male-male relationship in a noble self-sacrifice for the sake of an unsatisfying marriage. I favor a healthy degree of honesty and encourage negotiation toward a win-win outcome— making and remaking and keeping promises. I champion the power of love to heal and satisfy. My motto: the more loving I do, the more loving I am. The Shakers achieved simplicity by giving up sex altogether. But the gift of celibacy is a rare gift indeed. However, if we elevate love as our only norm, that can also be a source of simplification. Jesus pioneered this move when he invited us to love God and love neighbor as oneself, letting everything else depend on these two commandments, and Paul echoed this sentiment when he advised love as our only obligation (since love fulfills the law) in Romans 13:8. Bisexual married men and women have often been ashamed of themselves and their urges and have often found their marriages to be a place of pain, but if they keep turning under the guidance of love, they may achieve a true simplicity despite their complicated lives and come down where they ought to be: the valley of love and delight. Jim Wolfe holds a Ph.D. in Religion and Society and teaches sociology at Butler University. Pastoring Bisexual Men On Line Jim Wolfe Summer 1998 PERSONAL STORIES 17 I was lying on the tile floor of the church when it hit me. Our United Church of Christ association was doing an experiential Bible study on Luke 10, so we were told to imagine ourselves as the wounded traveler left by the roadside. After mentally watching pastors and good church people pass me by on the other side, I was surprised to see that my Good Samaritan was a lesbian! But, on second thought, it made sense. I am a married woman with a young child, living an apparently straight life. I have served on church committees, played worship music, and taught Sunday School for children and adults. So has my husband. Yet I have come to consider myself bisexual and have benefitted immensely from the richness of lesbian culture and politics, which reflect and nurture this part of my identity. I discovered “women’s music” while recovering from some medical tests. An African-American group, In Process, comforted with, “Oh my God, won’t you rock your children, rock them in your great big arms.” Aya, a Canadian trio, encouraged perseverance with, “Hold on to what is good…Hold on to what you believe…Hold on to what you must do.” Alix Dobkin favorites, like “Lesbian Code” and a Yiddish tonguetwister about a tailor, infused humor, and the chants of Libana nurtured my spiritual side. “Women’s music” can be feminist, lesbian, spiritual, political or all of these. Affirming and women-centered, it lifts my spirits when I’ve had too much of a world which devalues women and our experience. This year I even joined a feminist chorus in my area to sing harmonies with women of all orientations who hold similar values. The quintessential example of lesbian culture is women’s music festivals. While Michigan is most famous, my favorite is in Indiana. Besides women’s music in all genres, they also showcase the other arts— comedy, film, theater, writing, dancing, drumming, painting, sculpture, jewelry, clothing, and crafts— as well as hundreds of workshops on sexuality, relationships, racism, politics, spirituality, creativity, healing, finances, and legal concerns. I attend as many as I can because it’s guaranteed to challenge and empower me. One memorable workshop focused on recognizing types of discrimination and becoming allies with other oppressed groups. An exercise of listing human characteristics either in- or outside the favored circle demonstrated that we all knew the feelings of both experiences. A panel of participants was drawn up on the spot so that we could hear women speak from different perspectives about their strengths and difficulties. We heard openly and honestly that day from a woman in a wheelchair, a woman with a hidden disability, a woman of size, a woman with a mental illness, an older woman, a lesbian, a Jewish woman, a pagan woman, and a blue-eyed Indian. It helped me to view positively some of the work I am doing in my own community, such as buying materials and being an advocate for our town’s Spanish-speaking population, or urging compassion for the homeless mentally ill. It makes me sad, however, that a recent attempt to bring such concerns to my faith community in a church newsletter article was rejected for having too much of a “political tone,” as if the Christian faith were not about seeking more justice and respect among people. A third example of lesbian culture is creative, beautiful, and fun. The craft booths always display a variety of wellmade jewelry, some with lesbian symbols, women symbols, gay pride colors, motifs from nature and others. I have collected earrings, pendants and other things that have symbolic meaning to me, and by wearing them in daily life, represent my own support of and connection to the lesbian community. At her own level, my five-year-old enjoys them, too, by borrowing a necklace of colorful freedom rings, a string of beads for her hair or an ear cuff for her finger, or by begging me to wear the necklace (a labrys) with the “purple diamond,”or the little bitty triangle earrings in her favorite color. Across the country, women’s music festivals are a celebration of lesbian culture and politics. They provide valuable time and space apart from the sexist and heterosexist world, allowing lesbians and other women to be ourselves openly and honestly and express ourselves freely. Discovering these women has helped to relieve my sense of isolation by connecting me with others who have something in common, and also by connecting me to a stronger sense of my own self and the complex person I am. The lesbian community could serve as a model for the church in the way it struggles mightily to include the diversity of all women, and nurtures us all with attention to spirituality, creativity, and politics, encouraging a balanced and integrated life. While the church preaches inclusivity, love, and putting one’s faith into action, the lesbian community brings those ideals into reality, even if only for a few days. By the time I leave I feel affirmed and refreshed, encouraged and empowered. I’ve been surrounded by a new kind of beauty and strength, and I am a better person for the experience. Laurie Aude, (pictured with her husband, Dan Gehring and daughter Heidi) has an M.Div. from McCormick Theological Seminary. She works as a reference librarian and lives with her family in Aurora, IL. Parable of the Good Lesbian Cultural and Political Bisexuality Laurie Aude 18 Open Hands Test Your “Bi-Q” A Sexual Orientation Worksheet Ben Roe Explore your own sexual orientation using this simple research instrument that was developed by Fritz Klein and others. It is a refinement of the Kinsey Scale which ranked behavior and “psychologic reactions” on a scale from zero to six, with zero being exclusively heterosexual, six being exclusively homosexual, and three being equally homosexual/heterosexual.1 Klein wanted to test his idea that sexual orientation was a “dynamic, multi-variable process,” so he developed the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. He thought that an individual’s sexual orientation was composed of sexual and non-sexual variables which differed over time.2 There are three variables which directly describe the sexual self (attraction, fantasy, and behavior), three which describe aspects considered crucial to the composition of sexual orientation (emotional preference, social preference, and heterosexual or homosexual lifestyle), and also the variable of self-identification.3 A. Sexual Attraction In this grid, you will be choosing three numbers from Scale 1, one for each of three aspects of your life: your past, your present, and your ideal. Beginning with your past (up to a year ago), ask yourself where you fit on this scale and select the number that best describes you. Write this number in the corresponding box marked “past” on the line for Variable A (Sexual Attraction) on the grid. Then select a number that describes your present sexual attraction using the preceding year as the time period you consider. For a number of people it is the same number; for others it is different. Write this number in the box marked “present” on the line This form can be used privately for your own reflection, with a partner, or in a group.You may make a copy of the grid with the scales and explanatory text and then fill it out. Following the presentation of the instrument is a series of things to think about or explore with a partner or in a group. (The following closely follows the Klein article, and is used by permission.) for Variable A. Now ask yourself which number you would choose to be if it were a matter of choice or will. Remember there are no right or wrong numbers. When you finish writing this last number in the box marked Ideal for Variable A on the grid you should have completed the three boxes for Variable A. B. Sexual Behavior Here we look at actual behavior as opposed to sexual attraction. With whom do you have sex? Use Scale 1 to rate yourself. As with the previous scale, choose a number for past, present, and ideal sexual behavior, then enter the numbers on the grid, this time under Variable B. C. Sexual Fantasies The third variable is sexual fantasy. Whether they occur during masturbation, while daydreaming, as part of our real lives or purely in our imaginations, fantasies provide insight. Rate yourself from Scale 1, entering the numbers on the grid. D. Emotional Preference Our emotions directly influence, if not define, the actual physical act of love. Ask yourself if you love and like only the opposite sex or if you are also emotionally close to the same sex. Find out where you fit on the scale; rate yourself from Scale 1. Enter the numbers on the grid. Klein Sexual Orientation Grid Variable Past Present Ideal A. Sexual Attraction B. Sexual Behavior C. Sexual Fantasies D. Emotional Preference E. Social Preference F. Self- Identification G. Hetero/Gay Lifestyle Scale 1: Other Other Other Both Same Same Same sex sex sex sexes sex sex sex only mostly somewhat equally somewhat mostly only more more 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Scale 2: Hetero Hetero Hetero Hetero/ Gay Gay Gay only mostly somewhat gay somewhat mostly only more more 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Summer 1998 19 As you reflect on any fluidity in your own ratings (or those shared with you), consider how your particular self-identification and self-understanding was valid for you at each particular time of your life. Also note how one’s community of support (or lack thereof) can influence one’s self-identification or identity. Someone may identify as homosexual or heterosexual, for example, where there is no support for being bisexual. Some may identify as heterosexual where there is no support for being bisexual or homosexual. One of the main outcomes of using this grid can be to illustrate that there is not just one sexual orientation: heterosexual; that there are not just two sexual orientations, heterosexual and homosexual; and even that there are not just three sexual orientations, heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual; but indeed, a whole range of complex, interacting, and fluid factors in our sexuality. Ben Roe was an educator with Ministry in Human Sexuality from 1981-1988 and taught the human sexuality class at a community college in Lincoln, Nebraska, for several years. He is bisexual. Notes 1Kinsey, Alfred C, Pomeroy, Wardell B., and Martin, C. E. Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders, 1948). 2Klein, F, Barry Sepekoff, Timothy J. Wolf. “Sexual Orientation: a Multi-Variable Dynamic Process,” in Klein, Fritz and Timothy J. Wolf, ed., Two Lives to Lead; Bisexuality in Men and Women (New York: Harrington Park Press, Inc., 1985), p. 38. (Also published as Bisexualities: Theory and Research, by Haworth Press, 1985.) (See also http:// www.bisexual.org/BiOptBook.html) 3Klein, p 46. 4Keppel, Bobbi, and Alan Hamilton, “Using the Klein Scale to Teach about Sexual Orientation,” brochure published by the Bisexual Resource Center, P.O. Box 639, Cambridge, MA 02140. (http://www. biresource.org/klein_graph.html) 5Keppel and Hamilton, ibid. Bobbi Keppel is a social worker who has used this grid in educational workshops. She and Alan Hamilton write, “New concepts and new research offer opportunities to change the way people understand and conceptualize sexual orientation.”4 They have found that using this type of exercise has helped people “to ask questions and discuss sexual orientation more easily.” In their paper, they present the grid as a set of scales which form a 3-dimensional stack of cards or block. (She also adds “Political Identity,” “Physical Affection Preference,” and “Community Affiliation” as additional scales, replacing “Hetero/Gay Lifestyle.”) They write that it is helpful to start with an introduction of the Kinsey Scale as the first opportunity to reconceptualize sexual orientation. The element of time is more explicit in the Klein Grid, and the addition of the Ideal allows consideration of intention and the future. Taking all of the scales or grid locations as a whole gives a picture of one’s sexual orientation over time and can be helpful in discussing the concept as well as “identifying commonalities and differences.” If you are doing this exercise with a spouse, friend, or group, reflect on how your “constellation” of ratings differs from that of the other(s). It will become clear that even those who share the same self-identification differ in their makeup in interesting ways. Similarities will also emerge, not only among those who share self-identifications but among those who identify differently. Keppel and Hamilton write, “Sexual identity (how people think of themselves) sometimes has little to do with their sexual behavior. Three different people may have the same distribution of sexual behavior in the past and/or present, but have three different sexual identities: homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual.”5 Those who identify as heterosexual may not have the exact same behavior, or those who identify as bisexual may not have the same lifestyle, as another example. Be observant of how people’s identity, behavior, or fantasies may change over time. Research such as Klein’s plus the experience of many people show significant fluidity in self-identification. Keppel and Hamilton observe, Many people were sure that they would be, for instance, heterosexual all their lives, but discovered later that they no longer were. It therefore behooves one to treat others as one would like to be treated, regardless of one’s current sexual identity, as one’s sexual identity may change. (One hears an echo of Jesus in this statement.) E. Social Preference Though closely allied to emotional preference, social preference is often different. You may love only women but spend most of your social life with men. Some people, of all orientations, only socialize with their own sex, while others socialize with the opposite gender exclusively. Where are you on the scale? Choose three numbers as you have before from Scale 1, entering them on the grid. F. Self-Identification Your sexual self-definition is a strong variable since self-image strongly affects our thoughts and actions. In several cases, a person’s present and past self-identification differs markedly from their ideal. Choose three numbers on Scale 2 and fill in the numbers on the grid. G. Heterosexual/Homosexual Lifestyle Some heterosexuals only have sex with the opposite sex but prefer to spend the majority of their time with gay people. On the other hand, homosexual or bisexual persons may prefer to live exclusively in the gay world, the heterosexual world, or even to live in both worlds. Lifestyle is the seventh variable of sexual orientation. Where do you tend to spend time and with whom? Choose three numbers from Scale 2 as before and enter them on the grid. 20 Open Hands Are You a Boy or a Girl? When I was growing up, I heard society telling me what was normal for a girl, and I knew I was out of synch. For one thing, I had no idea how to “play house.” In my young mind, that came to epitomize my deficiency as a girl. I finally screwed up my courage and asked a friend to teach me how to play house. She tried, and I pretended, but I never really got it. It worried me. I tried to hide my deficiency. I have several male friends, on the other hand, whose childhoods were completely in synch with our culture’s stereotype of girl. They loved to play house, play dolls, dress up, put on make up and nail polish, etc. As you can imagine, their “deficiency” was more difficult to hide, and they got a lot of namecalling and disapproval. Consider for a moment that our definitions of girl and boy are created, that gender is a construct, something humans make up to explain and categorize the world, to make it predictable. The construct begins with identifying something most people have in common— distinctly male or female genitals. But from the beginning, the construct is difficult to maintain. Some people are born with ambiguous genitals and/or atypical chromosomes, making it difficult for doctors and parents to “designate” them. Often, to make such babies conform to our bipolar construct of sexual identity—everyone shall be male or female—surgery is performed, and a decision is made as to how the child will be raised. The construct is further challenged because some children—with or without this problematic beginning—just don’t show up as typical for their gender. For example, the child begins to articulate very early that he is really a girl or she is really a boy. Or the child is simply more comfortable being or behaving in ways that are considered typical for the other. Made in God’s Image Re-Thinking Constructs of Gender and Orientation Ann Thompson Cook In either case, the child is more comfortable being/doing what comes naturally, but the family and public usually are not. Parents get all kinds of advice to do whatever is necessary to get such kids to conform, to “act like a girl (boy)” because otherwise, the child will be maladapted, won’t be accepted, and therefore won’t be happy. So you can see how we completely merge the concepts of gender—the physical package a person has—and gender role—what is acceptable behavior for people with a particular package. First, we require that everyone be either male or female, despite variations at birth. Second, we set about to teach everyone how to be the right kind of male or female. Once taught, we reward conformity to gender role standards and punish non-conformity. Just ask any little boy who likes to play dress-up in high heels and lipstick past the age of four, or a girl who refuses to wear a dress to her eighth grade graduation. You can see that in order to keep the reward-punishment system in place, we have to know which gender someone is. Recreating Our Understanding of Gender When my son, Nate, entered high school, he played a game of confusing people about whether he was a boy or a girl. He had grown his wavy auburn hair to shoulder length, and was wearing several earrings and soft, loose clothing. In the evening, he would often report his experiences to me with a twinkle in his eye. Most people, it appeared, were so discomfited by the ambiguity of his presentation that they would finally come up to him and ask or demand, “Are you a boy or girl?” These were people he didn’t know, with whom he had no particular business or transaction pending. He was even approached with this question on the subway platform. Why was it so important to know? Well, if we can’t tell by looking which genitals a person has, we won’t know anything about them! We won’t know how to treat them, and we certainly won’t know what to expect of them, what standards to hold them to. As we acknowledge the preposterousness of those agendas, the question then emerges: Since we ourselves (humans) invented the concept of gender as two poles, what would happen if we discarded it? What if instead, we invented a concept of gender as a continuum or as a series of intersecting continua? In her book, Apartheid of Sex, Martine Rothblatt proposes to replace what she terms sexual dimorphism with a “rainbow lexicon of sexual continuity,” in which individuals identify themselves according to degrees of three elements in their makeup: aggressive (yellow), nourishing (blue), and erotic (red).1 For example, a person who understands himself to be nonaggressive, highly nurturing and highly erotic would identify himself in this lexicon as a deep purple. Over the Rainbow of Gender Continuity But if, as Rothblatt suggests, we recreated gender as a continuum, what would happen to our concept of sexual orientation? Doesn’t it then become problematic to talk about sexual orientation based on bipolar notions of “same” sex and “other/opposite” sex? Consider the possibility that our view of sexual orientation, like gender, is also a simplistic reduction. To know a person’s sexual orientation, as currently understood, the only information you need is the gender the person is attracted to. But in real life, gender tells us only what genital package a person has, if that, yet many more factors figure into our sexual orientation. Summer 1998 21 Try this experiment for a moment. Close your eyes, and line up all the people to whom you’ve ever—in your whole life—been attracted. Slowly scan them in your mind’s eye and look for similarities. Because it’s automatic to do so, you will probably notice first whether your line-up is comprised of all males or all females, or a combination. But look beyond that. You may notice that almost all of them share certain characteristics. Pay attention to patterns: their body build (height, weight, muscularity, angles, etc.), the quality and quantity of hair, their temperament (shy, bold, funny, analytical), the coloring of the skin and hair, their interests (artistic, mechanical, philosophical, people-loving, musical, intellectual, hands-on). Also consider Rothblatt’s three elements: degree of aggressiveness, eroticism, and nurturing. Do you find your lineup has a lot of greens or browns or oranges? I’ve found that most people do begin to notice patterns. They see that many of the people they’ve been drawn to over the years have some combination of distinguishing characteristics in common—they may tend to be stocky or natural comics or drama queens or handy-persons or musical or shy and cautious or… For some people, of course, physical package is a critical factor. We all know people who are attracted only to people with the same genital package, and other people who are attracted only to people with the other package. But for many people, other characteristics may actually be more important than the particular physical package. So what we have here is construct layered upon construct. We start with bipolar gender—male and female— and then build a definition of sexual orientation that leaves out a lot of information that’s important to most people. The Gender Composition of Couples Now look even further. Once we see that our old distinctions aren’t particularly meaningful in giving us information about who individuals are, or whom they’re attracted to, it gets even more complicated when we think about couples. If you know what physical package the two people have, what do you know? Does knowing the physical package of the two people tell us what they like to do together? Whether each person is supported in pursuing their dreams? Does it tell us how they handle disagreement? Whether they will want to have children? Whether they will grow to love, or barely tolerate, each other’s families? What being faithful means to them? How they would care for each other if one became injured or seriously ill? How they will use whatever money comes their way? None of these. Consider, however, that if we’re truly interested in creating strong relationships, characterized by love and support, these are critical questions. Yet just as my attention was distracted, as a young girl, to whether I was being the right kind of girl, we are distracted as a society from exploring these questions. Why? Because our rigid focus on gender role conformity has diverted our attention, has blinded us. Resisting Conformity to this World As a community of faith, we are fond of saying that each of us is made in the image of God, yet I and countless others are sidetracked early in life trying to re-make ourselves to some other image, some human-designed image. Those who can’t or won’t play along are taunted, ostracized, often either directly or indirectly killed off. As a community of faith, we go along with a system that re-makes people into our own image of male and female, rather than enjoying, appreciating, and nurturing what God has placed in front of us. Consider the possibility that what God wants more than anything is for each of us to be fully who we are, for each of us to develop our God-given talents full-out and have that be our contribution to the world. What if, as faith communities, we stopped assuming that we can design God’s image better than God? What if we emptied ourselves of our sex/gender constructs and simply took in each child, each person, as they are, and looked for that of God in each of them? And what if we took on supporting and nurturing whatever love emerged in our communities and laid aside the question, “Is this kind of love okay?” Perhaps then all our labels would disappear— they would be of no further value, no longer needed. © 1998 Ann Thompson Cook, Insite Ann Thompson Cook is the founding director of Insite, which seeks to change the public conversation about sexuality and gender, particularly to empower parents to be effective sex educators of their children. She was a key mover behind Dumbarton United Methodist Church (Washington, DC) becoming a Reconciling Congregation in 1987 and has served on the national Reconciling Congregation Board. Note 1Martine Rothblatt, The Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender ( NY: Crown Publishers, 1995). 22 Open Hands Following a failed suicide attempt, Dayna Clay, a young bisexual woman suffering from major depression, takes off cross-country to figure out whether or not her life is worth living. She picks up a stranger, a woman name Shelly, who needs a lift to the nearest town. Eventually the conversation leads to: “You seein’ anyone? Romantically?” Shelly asked. “I…I was.” Dayna was cautious. A particularly maudlin country song was playing on the radio, as if in perverse accompaniment. “We broke up recently.” “How come?” “It was my fault. I drove…” Dayna paused, wondering how to proceed. A pronoun was needed: candor indicated one, discretion another— but then, discretion had never been her strong suit. “I drove her away. I got impatient, gave up, started doing and saying things I knew would make her want to leave me.” The song ended, replaced by a jarringly loud supermarket commercial; Dayna turned the radio off. “We weren’t…I don’t think we were in love. Maybe we could’ve been, in time. Who knows?” She looked over at her passenger, who was staring straight ahead— and who had shifted a good three inches away. “Jesus! Don’t freak, OK? You’re not even my type.” Shelly looked at her. “I don’t see how you could get the same feeling from another woman that I do from Jake.” “I don’t. It’s different. Not better, not worse…” “How would you know?” “I’ve had boyfriends; I like guys. I’m attracted to women and men; always have been.” Dayna smiled grimly. “I’ve had twice as many opportunities for failure as other people, and believe me, I’ve made the most of them.” This seemed to put Shelly somewhat at ease. “How is it different?” “It’s hard to explain. These things don’t really lend themselves to…” “Try.” Dayna thought for a moment. “With a guy it’s, you know, a joining of opposites. So there’s this feeling of…completing something. Each other, I guess. And when it’s right—when he’s the right guy— that can be really powerful.” Shelly nodded. “Yeah.” “But with another woman it’s a joining of…well, not opposites, but equals. A celebration of common ground. The feeling’s more one of echoing each other…reinforcing each other.” A string of images rose unbidden before her mind’s eye— memories from a not-too-distant past that she was, as yet, in no condition to revisit. Let it go, she told herself. Forget her. Dayna forced herself to continue speaking. “So Common Ground Excerpts from Unplugged, A Novel in Process Paul McComas there’s a symmetry to it, a sense of balance, and a basic, physical kinship that’s…” Her throat caught. “…that’s…” “That’s what?” She grabbed her sunglasses off the dash, slid them on and pointed to the road sign up ahead. “That’s your exit.” As week follows week in Dayna’s travels, the land teaches— and heals— her in ways that challenge and surprise her… While walking beneath a prairie cottonwood, she glimpsed a flash of crimson fluttering down from above; reaching up, Dayna surprised herself by actually catching the leaf in mid-fall. Studying her prize, she pondered the symmetry of nature. The leaf’s intricate network of veins mirrored, in miniature, the branches from which it had dropped—not to mention the other, unseen tributaries anchoring the trunk to the earth below. The realization made her gasp: the veins were the branches were the roots; from high in the air to deep underground, the tree emphatically asserted its treeness throughout. Here, she thought, was the best evidence yet of a divine plan. But how did she herself fit into that plan? Dayna sat down on the ground and leaned back against the trunk, turning the leaf over in her hand. She’d seen it a hundred times in a hundred different ways: the land embraced male and female in equal measure, engaging and sustaining both sexes with an unerring— and unerringly even-handed— devotion. And what, finally, was “God” if not the life-growing, love-sewing spirit flowing through that land: through bison and bighorn, pine tree and prairie grass, mountain and canyon and— and Dayna as well? Looking up, she saw the vista before her as if for the first time. She’d just begun, really, to believe in a higher power. But now, already, she understood what it meant— for her, anyway— to have been made in that higher power’s image. Any lingering trace of guilt connected to who she was and whom she loved vanished the moment Dayna understood that her Creator felt the very same way. Paul McComas is a fiction writer who recently published a book of short stories, Twenty Questions (Fithian Press, P.O. Box 1525, Santa Barbara, CA 93102). He and his wife, Chris, an M.Div. student at Garrett Evangelical Theological School, are both active members of Garrett’s RCP advocacy group, Sacred Worth, and of Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. Summer 1998 MINISTRIES 23 CONNECTIONS Enough Already: Distractions To Justice Mary E. Hunt I am struck by the fact that in religious circles sexuality sticks on our agenda like old food on a dirty plate when so many more pressing issues need our attention. Witness: the recent Methodist trial of a clergyman alleged to have presided at the marriage of two lesbians. While a wise jury of his peers aquitted him, most such cases do not have such happy outcomes. Besides, is this kind of work the most pressing agenda for religious groups when planetary survival, the well being of people who are poor amid a robust economy, and the education of children deprived of basics all beg attention? I think not. There are three explanations for the current agenda. First, to my mind, sexual ethics are dealt with by churches in micro terms, when the injustices of our society are really macro problems, because churches can’t handle the big issues. Sexual issues are those about which people can venture opinions without really knowing very much. It is easy to mouth platitudes about fidelity and chastity, marriage and singleness, sodomy and celibacy without really being informed about the latest biological and psychological findings. It is easy to sound smarter in the pulpit than a talk show host (competition being what it is) without having to take a course in contemporary sexology. Heaven forfend, it is possible to counsel people about relationships in pastoral settings with the most minimal preparation and the most deeply rooted prejudices. Rather than seeing sexuality in global economic and political terms, most discussions in churches focus on sexuality in the most individualized and privatized way. Sex has become a kind of cottage industry in church circles. It is hard to imagine what churches would do if this were not part of their portfolio— indeed, if people looked to them for guidance on responsible investing, how to stop sexual harassment, or what to do about inequities in the job market. A second reason why sexuality is so central is that few people look to churches for moral guidance on much of anything any more. Older Roman Catholics and Protestants remember when bishops and pastors spoke and people listened—indeed, when church officials had political clout, when their views could influence war and peace and the market place. Unfortunately, we need some moral guidance, though not from them, as the stock market creates not the rich and the poor but the invested and the divested, when the death penalty is applied “liberally” even to women in a show of faux feminism in Texas of late. Alas, professional, progressive religious voices seem to have less and less volume, and even less influence. Where are the religious leaders, Peter Steinfels asked in a recent New York Times article on alleged presidential sexual misconduct. Of course Mr. Steinfels focused his attention on why religious leaders did or did not condemn the sexual matters, finding most wanting in judgment. But I would ask, why are religious leaders not setting a helpful example by passing over the sexual issues as such and looking at the relationship between consent and power which, regardless of the guilt or innocence of President Clinton, needs to be discussed. Our epidemic of clergy sexual abuse and the recent spate of teachers and students carrying on might all be better constrained with educational offerings. None are forthcoming. Why? Because even the media has boxed religious leaders into the sexual corner, inviting them like trained circus animals to respond on cue to the most microscopic concerns when the larger questions of justice go unanswered. Those of us on the progressive end of things are equally boxed in when, in our best efforts to make change, we keep the same dynamic in motion. I do not mean to blame victims here, or to suggest that we abandon our efforts to bring about sexual justice. But I do mean to caution against the very same problem that mainline churches have when we become the Jane and Johnny One-Notes on matters sexual. It is hard to avoid, but I think we fall into the trap of a massive distraction from the larger justice agenda when we limit our foci to a single issue. Again, I know that denomination by denomination this has had to be the case or we would have no progress on matters of ordination, covenants and even proper burials for those who love in a same-sex fashion. I cannot help but wonder what price we have paid when it comes to anti-racism, economic justice, rights for people who live with disabilities, international solidarity and the myriad issues which in the final analysis are deeply interwoven with our sexualities. What colleagues have we offended along the way, what opportunities have we overlooked because we have all been so busy peering microscopically at sexuality that we have missed other forms of suffering around us? The third reason for the disproportionate emphasis is because sexuality is finally, still and unfortunately, the purview of women in our culture, and kyriarchal control is exercised first and foremost over women. Despite decades of feminist, womanist, mujerista and other progressive women-led theological work, we are still in a situation where sex means women, where pleasure is evil, and where equality is a distant dream. One has only to read most glossy magazines, watch a little MTV, shop in most stores and otherwise live in everyday globalized culture to reach this conclusion. One has only to speak with single women who are raising children on low or no salaries, inquire of inner city teens, or look at the growing number of women and dependent children being infected by HIV/AIDS to realize how much sex is still gender-typed. ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ …Sexuality sticks on our agenda like old food on a dirty plate when so many more ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ pressing issues need our attention. 24 MINISTRIES Open Hands In the churches, matters of sexuality fall disproportionately to women as if the women’s movements had never taken place. With the possible exception of gay men upon whom so much is projected, in virtually every other matter sexual it is women who continue to carry the moral and ethical burden. For example, where are the church programs urging vasectomies? How often have you heard the word “vasectomy” from a pulpit or discussed it in adult education settings? What if every time we heard the A word for abortion we changed the topic and said, “Let’s talk about the V word for a bit.” I predict that suddenly sex would take on global proportions and practical solutions would go up in the smoke of abstractions. We have allowed the sexual agenda to rule in our churches even in the name of changing things. Frankly, I have had enough already as the expression goes, and I think it is time to look afresh at what we might construct as an ethical agenda for the future that will do justice in the largest sense of the word. Mary E. Hunt, Ph.D., feminist liberation theologican and ethicist, is co-founder and codirector of WATER, the Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Ritual, which is celebrating its 15th anniversary this year. This article first appeared in the Spring, 1998 (Vol. 11, No. 1) issue of Waterwheel, WATER’s quarterly newsletter. Both author and organization may be reached at 8035 13th St., Silver Spring, MD 20910 USA; phone 301/589-2509; fax 301/ 589-3150; E-mail: water@hers.com; Internet: http://www.hers.com/ water LEADERSHIP Never Retired from Justice Edwin E. Reeves I have been retired as a United Methodist minister so long that I am not known to most active ministers and lay members. I am 86 years old. My appointments have all been within the California Pacific Annual Conference over a span of 50 years. I have served as District Superintendent and on boards and agencies of the conference and national church. I am the father of three children. As a Boston University seminary student in 1936, I attended General Conference and listened to the debate that ultimately established the “Central Jurisdiction,” a segregated jurisdiction for African-Americans nationwide. This indeed was a sad experience for me. But, in 1964, I chaired our delegation to General Conference. Our delegation unanimously favored abolishing the Central Jurisdiction. During the debate, there was vigorous opposition to integrating annual conferences, particularly in the South. Nevertheless, the conference voted to dissolve the Central Jurisdiction and merge black and white annual conferences located in the same geographic regions. I had the privilege of making the motion that the pension rate for all African-American ministers be brought up to the level of all other ministers residing within the merging conferences. The same action was taken regarding ministerial salaries. It was a great joy to be involved in passing this legislation, which had taken 30 years to accomplish. Just as I was actively involved in the civil rights debate, especially as it related to our Methodist churches, I am as intensely concerned about the debate on homosexuality. Five years ago, on Palm Sunday, I became involved in an Open and Affirming, as well as Reconciling Congregation. I have a personal relationship with innumerable homosexual Christians who have taught me so much about being loving and inclusive. I covet this experience for us all. My own Christian experience has been enriched: my personal relationship with an inclusive, diverse, loving and Christ-centered community has strengthened my faith. My concept of God has grown immeasurably under the preaching and teaching of its ministers and lay leaders. Some of the testimonies of these new friends of how they have been recipients of condemnation, hate, and discrimination has given me a keen awareness of their pain and suffering. William Sloane Coffin has said, “The problem is not how to reconcile homosexuality with scriptural passages that appear to condemn it, but rather how to reconcile the rejection and punishment of homosexuals with the love of Christ.”1 Our condemnation by language in the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church is an affront to all homosexual Christians. Former Bishop Stanley Olson of the Pacific Southwest Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America wrote an article which has been widely circulated among clergy and lay leaders in which he concludes, “The ELCA will eventually change its teaching on the subject of homosexuality. Of that I am confident. We are admitting the need to restudy the few clouded verses of scripture that we have assumed were about homosexuality. We will probably conclude that we have distorted the Gospel with our preoccupation with sexuality, an understandable error for heterosexuals. “It will come too late! By the time we finally take a stand, the field of science, the business community, and the society around us will have settled the issue. We will be left trying to extricate ourselves from entanglements with fundamentalists and political extremists.”2 Pray God that in the year 2000, delegates to the General Conference shall take us into the 21st century as a Reconciling Church. I hope that I can live long enough to see it. Edwin E. Reeves, a self-described “avid reader” of Open Hands, participated in the recent debate of the California-Pacific Conference to become a Reconciling Conference. It did not— yet. But it did adopt a compromise statement of “welcome” to l/g/b persons. Notes 1Quoted from “The Prophetic Fire of William Sloan Coffin,” Summer/ Fall 1992 issue of The Spire, an alumni/ae publication of Vanderbilt University Divinity School. 2Bishop Stanley Olson, “Thoughts on a Sick Tree and Rotten Fruit.” Summer 1998 MINISTRIES 25 CHILDREN Children of God and the Big Lie Timothy Tutt I work in a profession that requires leadership, peacemaking skills, and a strong faith foundation which guides me in modeling the “golden” rules of unconditional love and respect for myself and those whom I’m called to serve. I am not a pastor, but a third-grade teacher (though similarities abound!). One similarity between elementary teaching and Christian ministry is the sense of fulfillment that can come from challenges. Such was the case a couple of years ago when my class amazed me by a response that has given me one of my favorite teaching stories. In the early months of 1996, the Des Moines Public School District, where I’ve been “called” to serve, was embroiled in a controversial quagmire. A district committee proposed curriculum and resource lists on homosexuality and lesbian and gay people that would help guide the district’s implementation of its nondiscrimination policy, which had been amended to include “sexual orientation” in 1990. Some negative public reaction was anticipated, but the district did not expect the vociferous expressions of ignorance, fear, and anger that it received: lewd gestures and shouts of rage made those who supported the recommendations fearful for their safety. One school board member, who bravely came out not only in support of the proposal but also as a gay man ended up wearing a bullet-proof vest whenever he left home, a direct response to death threats. Across town in a small elementary school, a gay teacher (I won’t mention my name here “in order to protect the innocent”) was attempting to blot out those external pressures as best he could by going about the daily routine of reading stories to his third-graders after lunchtime recess. For those who live and breathe church life, think of this time as a “reflective reading” in the midst of a 6-hour sermon. Usually, this is a time when students let their guard down as I read from what I consider a “good book,” just as ministers use The Good Book. The book I was reading aloud was The Big Lie, a children’s book by Isabella Leitner. It is an autobiographical account of a young woman’s struggle as she and her family were herded to the infamous Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Reading stories about the Holocaust may seem heavy for eight- and nine-year-olds who had just come from making snow angels and snow people, yet reading this particular book has become an annual rite of passage that not only sparks interesting discussion, but opens young minds. However, I was soon to have my mind opened a little more. I facilitated a discussion on concentration camps. While most students have no concept of such things, there are always a few who know enough to get dialogue going. I mentioned that while most people who were sent to the camps were Jewish, others were sent as well. That winter of 1996, while voices of hate, fear, and ignorance permeated our community, I thought I’d supplement this annual discussion with something new. I added “people that the Nazis thought were lesbian or gay” to the end of the list of communities that Hitler wanted to obliterate. For a moment there was sheer silence. Then Kelsey, a charming girl with whom all got along, angrily blurted out, “What? You mean Hitler sent gay and lesbian people, too? That is stupid! They can’t help it if they’re gay!” Now I was in sheer silence, totally absorbed by this eightyear- old’s precociousness, while anxiously awaiting what would happen next. Suddenly, Sam, another charmer who was the class athlete and leader that all my students admired, added, “Mr. Tutt, that is really dumb! There are a lot of great people who are gay, and this doesn’t make any sense!” The rest of the class (as far as I could tell) roared their approval of Kelsey and Sam’s words with a resounding “Yeah!” That was followed by quite a bit of chatter among the students, with a few of them mentioning uncles, aunts, neighbors, and parent’s friends who were lesbian or gay. Needless to say, I was so very proud of my class that I thought my overly-swollen heart would simply burst out of my chest. Once I regained control of my class and my heart rate, I mentioned that some people show hatred toward what they do not understand or cannot change. Then, holding back tears of pride and joy, I complimented them for doing just the opposite. I prided them for learning a lesson that no textbook can teach, and I told them that I was lucky to be their teacher. Proverbs 19:25 says, “Children make themselves known by their acts, by whether what they do is pure and right.” My hope for those children is that they will mature with not only those same thoughts of open-mindedness and compassion that they shared on that cold, winter day, but that their actions will continue to match. And who knows? Maybe more of us children of God can do the same as we continue to mature, too. Timothy Tutt is a member of the Council for the United Church of Christ Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Concerns. He resides in Des Moines, Iowa, where he teaches third grade and attends Plymouth Congregational Church, an Open and Affirming congregation. “Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 “Kids Say The Darndest Things.” Bill Cosby’s TV program, attributed to Art Linkletter ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ 26 MINISTRIES Open Hands WELCOMING PROCESS As Maine Goes, So Goes the Nation? Margaret MacDonald & Dotty Kay Stillman “We recognize, and welcome into our fellowship persons of all sexual orientations, be they single, in committed partnerships, or families, including those which are nuclear, blended and extended. We affirm relationships and behavior based on mutual love, responsibility, trust and loyalty.” (From the “Open and Affirming Statement” of The Somesville Union Meeting House, United Church of Christ, a small, 70-member church on Mount Desert Island, Maine, and the first church of its denomination in Maine to vote to become Open and Affirming) The Open and Affirming movement in the Somesville Church evolved out of a six-week study group on homophobia, “Where Do We Go from Here?”1 which was led by our minister, Rev. David C. Stillman, and an active lay woman whose daughter is lesbian. At the completion of the study there was a nucleus of eight interested participants who wanted to continue to explore this issue, who subsequently asked for the sponsorship of the church council to continue our education with the future goal of voting as a church to become an Open and Affirming congregation. As our statement later declared, our congregation would be one that welcomes “all persons of every race, age, marital standing, economic status, nationality and sexual orientation into the full life and ministry of this community of faith, including membership, leadership and employment.” The council endorsed our goal, and we became the Open and Affirming Task Group. Realizing that this would be a significant faith journey for most members of the congregation, we needed to find out how they felt about becoming Open and Affirming before planning any educational programs, so we could include their questions and concerns. Everyone agreed that we already were an open congregation and that all were welcome. But our study had shown that there is a not-so-subtle difference between the status of being open and that of being affirming of all people. With this in mind, we showed and discussed the video “A Journey of Faith”2 to church members on four different occasions. We followed with several information-gathering meetings, varying the day and time to reach as many people as possible. A broad range of questions were raised at these sessions which guided our planning. We then designed a series of five panel discussions on the following topics: • Understanding Homosexuality – origins, including bisexuality • Biblical References and Interpretations – plus Church attitudes in history • Homosexuals and the Law – civil rights; the referendum proposed by Concerned Maine Families at that time; hate crimes • Why Do We Need to Do This? – personal experiences of gays and lesbians • Health Issues: Facts and Myths – mental health, depression, suicide, substance abuse, AIDS During the process we printed a newsletter— the Open and Affirming Task Group Update—keeping the congregation informed, announcing plans and programs to come, and reviewing programs we had already held. In our final issue we included “testimonies” from members of our congregation who were willing to share their thoughts publicly regarding why they would vote “yes.” The next step was to write our “Open and Affirming Statement.” The first draft was prepared after much discussion and prayerful consideration by three task group members and our minister. It was then reviewed by the entire task group and, after some rewording and more discussion, the final draft was presented to our church council. The statement received its full endorsement, and we were ready to present it to the congregation. This was done via a special edition of our task group’s newsletter. We held two more open meetings for further discussion which were attended by only a few. During the last eight months of our program we were in frequent communication with the United Church Coalition for L/G/B/T Concerns for support and guidance, including a draft of our statement sent for their comments, suggestions, and ultimately, their endorsement. Rev. Stillman preached on the subject on the first Sunday in January. His sermon, entitled “On the Side of Love,” was extremely well-received. After nearly two years of study and soul-searching, our vote took place at our annual meeting on January 28, 1996. Our “Open and Affirming Statement” was accepted almost unanimously, with only one dissenting vote. We were ecstatic! Following that meeting, Rev. Stillman said, “This is one of the most inspiring times in all my 21 years of parish ministry. The process, which was truly a journey of faith, has been very exciting to me, both as an observer and as a participant. It was successful because, from the very beginning, it found its energy, direction, and leadership from those who are at the very center of the life of our congregation.” Dotty Kay Stillman (left) and Margaret MacDonald (right) were co-chairs of the church’s Open and Affirming Task Group. Dotty Kay is church administrator and is active in “Maine Won’t Discriminate” and the “Maine SpeakOut Project.” She is also the pastor’s wife. Margaret is a professional educator and counselor and was also coleader of the original study group on homophobia. Notes 1Resource prepared by the ONA Task Team of the Massachusetts Conference and available from UCCL/G/B/TC, c/o Rev. Ann B. Day, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520. 2Copyright 1992, United Church Board for Homeland Ministries, 700 Prospect Avenue, Cleveland, OH 44115-1100 Summer 1998 MINISTRIES 27 YOUTH Youth Suicide and the White Ribbon Campaign Timothy Brown In memory of the 23 l/g/b/t youth who committed suicide in North America during the week that the 1997 UCC General Synod met I recently became aware of the White Ribbon Campaign. This campaign, similar to the red ribbons worn for AIDS awareness, is to call attention to suicides among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered youth. There is a suicide of a lesbian or gay youth approximately every five hours in the United States and Canada. I plan to wear a white ribbon frequently, and hope you will consider wearing one as well. The story of 17-year-old Bill Clayton can be found on the Internet1 at and is used here with the permission of Gabi Clayton, Bill’s mother. Bill came out to his family as bisexual at age 14. They were relatively easy to tell, as his mother is a counselor. He was accepted and loved by his family. But he was not accepted by everyone. Bill was violently assaulted in a hate crime in the spring of 1996; he committed suicide a few weeks later by taking an overdose. After the UCC General Synod, I became aware of another tragic story carried in the Press and Sun Bulletin, Binghamton, New York. A gay 17-year-old ran away from home in Oconto, Wisconsin, to Binghamton, where a man lived whom he had met in a telephone chat room. The man was married, and when it became apparent that the relationship was not going to work out, Steve Hrabik committed suicide by jumping off the State Street Bridge into the path of oncoming traffic on North Shore Drive. An article which ran on Easter Sunday in the Cleveland Plain Dealer tells the story of 14-year-old Robbie, who committed suicide Jan. 2, 1997 by shooting himself with his father’s gun. He had made several attempts before and had run away to Chicago once. His family had canceled his Internet account after he ran up charges. He apparently met an adult on-line who mailed him pornography. After his death, “God made me this way,” was discovered written in one of his textbooks. Many of you are aware of the debate which began nearly two years ago at East High School in Salt Lake City over allowing l/g/b/t student groups. This fight was led by Jacob Orozco. I was sadden to learn of this 17-year-old’s suicide on Sept. 9, 1997. Was a support group too much to ask for? There are many other stories, but you get the point without further grief. The few I have told you have been of young men, who statistically are three times more likely to commit suicide than young lesbian women. But we are also tragically losing young women for similar reasons. As I contemplate each of these suicides, I wonder what the role of various faith communities was, could have been, or should have been. Why do l/g/b/t teens think that they have to resort to the Internet or telephone chat rooms to make connections into the l/g/b/t community? One probable reason is that they know of nowhere else to turn. How many of our church youth groups are safe spaces? At youth group or other church events is there a place for l/g/b/t youth to be themselves and invite their dates? Where were our churches when these youth were running away from home to nearby cities or faraway states? Since most gay-bashers quote the church to explain their actions, how might our faith communities have saved the youth beaten while simply walking along the street with two friends? Where will life-saving support come from? The lack of response to these situations makes me furious. I hope others of you will become angry, too— enough to take action, as I intend to do. So put on your white ribbon and, when asked, tell people what it’s for. But don’t stop there. Talk about these issues in your local congregations. Organize safe housing for runaways, safe from predators. For those of you who are l/g/ b/t: be out enough yourself that you can be a positive role model and provide support for a struggling young person. Finally, encourage your youth group, your local congregation, and your regional church unit to offer workshops on these issues. Timothy Brown was officially installed on May 31, 1998, as a Commissioned Minister of the United Church of Christ (a form of lay ministry) at Community UCC in Boulder, Colorado, to work with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. This article originally appeared in the Nov., 1997 issue of Waves, the newsletter of the UCC Coalition for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Concerns. He may be contacted at 1005 East Ninth Avenue, #102, Broomfield, Colorado 80020; phone 303/439-2698; fax 303/438-1208; e-mail Timothy_Brown@ceo.cudenver.edu Note 1http://members.tripod.com/~claytoly/Bills_Story ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ I hope others of you will become angry, too— enough to take action, as I intend to do. So put on your white ribbon and, ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ when asked, tell people what it’s for. Summer 1998 28 Chorus 1 Super-moral-legalistic-conformation1-itis! You know it’s just as mean an ailment As appendicitis! Pills and surg’ry affect it not— Only Grace requitest! Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Interlude Um piddle2 piddle piddle, um piddle ay! Um piddle piddle piddle, um piddle ay! Verse 1 At our churchwide gathering, A thought occurred to me, A lot of right wing folk were talking Quite judgmentally. A diagnosis might help free them Of their malady; The first step is to name their ill In order to be free: Chorus 2 Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Though we know with all their might Those ill will try to fight us— Working to cure this disease Will certainly unite us! Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Interlude (See above) Verse 2 Condemning all translesbigays: A mean and vicious game, A lot of finger-pointing and A lot of nasty blame. “Exclusive knowledge of God’s will” The ailing people claim. We’d better take our medicine, Or we’ll end up the same. Chorus 2 Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Although opponents seem to feel That God should surely smite us, Their finger-pointing acts like An attack of colonitis! Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Interlude (See above) Verse 3 We won’t go unprotected, no, Not catch THIS dread disease. Our goal is to give THEM relief And then a life of ease, An end to their hypocrisy And all their hits-and-run— We’ll help them learn compassion now So they can have some fun. Chorus 3 Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! You know it’s just as mean an ailment As appendicitis; Cure it, friends, so ne’er again Will we have it to blight us: Super-moral-legalistic-conformation-itis! Sustaining the Spirit John Gregg, a retired Presbyterian pastor, and his daughter, Beth, share a duplex in Milwaukee. John is a leader of Semper Reformanda, an agent for change in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Beth provides home care for a person with Alzheimer’s. And yes, they’re both as fun as the song suggests! Notes 1“Conformation” was originally “expiation.” “Procreation” may also fit here. 2Here the word is used in the sense of “to work or to act in a trifling, trivial, or petty way.” From your editor: Okay, okay—the usual ways we sustain the spirit in Open Hands are serious. But it is summer, and time for summer camp and summer fun. Beth Gregg and her dad John have written just the thing to uplift our spirits. Originally written for the Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns celebration at the Presbyterian General Assembly this past June in Charlotte, this song has been adapted with their permission for our readers. We can’t identify the tune without paying megabucks for rights, but you should be able to figure it out. Since those who own the tune are under fire from those under the spell of “super-moral-legalistic-conformation- itis,” they might enjoy this version, too. Summer 1998 29 Movement News Reconciling Congregations Number 150; Record Growth in 1998 Thirteen United Methodist churches have publicly proclaimed a message of welcome to all persons regardless of sexual orientation so far in 1998, bringing the total number of Reconciling Congregations nationwide to 150. “There has been a quickening pace of churches and ministries becoming Reconciling in 1998—an average rate of three per month,” noted Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP) executive director Mark Bowman, “even as a loud clamor in some parts of the church is calling for strict enforcement of United Methodist policies which discriminate against lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families.” The new Reconciling Congregations include the first in the states of Maine and Nebraska, as well as the first in four regional United Methodist conferences— Central Pennsylvania, Nebraska, North Central New York, and North Texas. The RCP has recently received a $10,000 grant from the Gill Foundation to support its work. Three Lutheran Synods Become Reconciling This June, three Synods of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America passed affirmations of welcome to gay and lesbian believers. The Southern California-West, Southwestern Texas, and Metropolitan New York Synods are the newest ones to join the Reconciling in Christ Program. The RIC roster now includes 13 synods, or 20% of the total of 65 synods. One effect of these actions is that local congregations will be encouraged to join the Reconciling movement as well. MLCN and PLGC Approve Merger; Spahr and Glaser Honored While the Presbyterian General Assembly resisted any further action on sexuality issues this past June in Charlotte, NC, the membership of both the More Light Churches Network and Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns voted to merge, effective January 1, 1999. The new group will be called More Light Presbyterians. The merger is seen by both groups as a recommitment to the struggle to transform the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) into a true community of hospitality. Funds have now been raised to match a challenge grant which will enable the new group to employ a full-time staff person to nurture the growth of More Light Churches and support networks in areas of the country in which more visibility is needed. During its Celebration at the annual Presbyterian gathering, PLGC honored Chris Glaser, interim editor of Open Hands, author, and founder of the Lazarus Project, and the Rev. Janie Spahr, “lesbian evangelist” and founder of That All May Freely Serve as well as Spectrum (formerly Ministry of Light), for their more than twenty years of service to the g/l/b/t community in the church. Both Chris and Janie gave moving speeches in response to the question, “How has the decision of the church to bar the ordination of gays and lesbians affected your life?” ONA Churches Gather With 244 churches now listed as Open and Affirming (ONA) in the United Church of Christ, 4% of the denomination’s 6,100 churches now publicly and fully welcome l/g/b people. During the national gathering of the UCC Coalition for L/G/ B/T Concerns in Chicago in late June, people from 51 of these churches shared food for the body and soul at the annual ONA dinner, hosted by First United Church of Oak Park, IL. All churches which have joined this movement since July 1997 will be recognized at The Coalition Banquet at the UCC General Synod (Providence, RI) in 1999. Canadian Presbyterians Oust Church for “Out” Minister The Presbyterian Church in Canada expelled a congregation at the end of June because it refused to fire its gay pastor. A congregation of mostly older members, St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church in Lachine (near Montreal) voted to retain Darryl Macdonald as worship leader and pastoral caregiver, despite the denomination’s refusal to ordain him and the resulting pressure over a three-year period to let him go or lose their Presbyterian affiliation. Montreal Presbytery at first supported the ordination of Macdonald, who said from the start that he lived with a man. He is regarded by his parishioners as a compassionate minister. Since the church’s sanctuary will be taken from them, the congregation will now be forced to lease it. Bishop Says Same-Gender Unions Do Not Violate Church Law In a May 14th letter distributed to clergy and lay leaders of the California-Nevada Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church, Bishop Melvin G. Talbert has declared that a pastor’s celebration of a same-gender union does not violate church law. The counsel comes in the wake of the trial of the Rev. Jimmy Creech (see last issue under “Leadership”) in Nebraska for performing such a ceremony. Talbert reminded United Methodists that the church’s Social Principles “are not law” but “are intended to be instructive.” Rev. Creech was not reappointed by his bishop after being acquitted in his trial, and so has chosen to take time away from parish ministry to do some reflecting and writing. Two churches in the conference led by Talbert have performed same-gender unions. Bishop Tutu Calls WCC to Gay-Positive Stance Nobel peace prize winner and Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa has called for the next World Council of Churches gathering to speak positively about lesbians and gay men, according to an exclusive interview with the news service ENI. The host country for the December assembly, Zimbabwe, is led by President Robert Mugabe, who has denounced homosexual people as unwelcome “pigs” and as a “Western perversion” alien to Africans. Mugabe’s statements have been supported by some Zimbabwean churches, according to Tutu. Already one Dutch Protestant church has said it will not attend because of Mugabe’s remarks. “It is a matter of ordinary justice,” ENI reported Tutu as saying. 30 Open Hands Welcoming Communities Rainbow Flags At Lutheran Headquarters The first “Gay, Lesbian, and Straight People Working Together Week” was held at the churchwide offices of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America in June. Rainbow flags adorned posters on each floor of the 11-story building in Chicago announcing the week to employees. It was sponsored by the ELCA Interunit Staff Team on Diversity, a group whose charter includes sexual orientation as well as racial, ethnic and gender diversity. The activities were planned to celebrate the gifts of gay and lesbian people in the church, educate staff on the history of lesbian and gay people, and demonstrate that the center is a welcoming place. Speakers included Bob Gibeling, Program Executive for Lutherans Concerned/North America, parents and spouses of gay people, and members of Reconciling in Christ congregations. Millenium March on Washington Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, and Elizabeth Birch, executive director of the Human Rights Campaign, have announced plans to hold another March on Washington, this time on April 30 in the year 2000. Initially the plan was criticized for not emanating from either the grass roots or even a coalition of leadership, but more individuals and organizations are endorsing this fourth march on the nation’s capital, including minority groups. Because of the lack of religious speakers at prior events, religious groups are pushing to be better represented at this one. And because of extremely lengthy delays for contingents awaiting their place in the last march, the primary event may take the shape of a rally on the capitol mall. Intermediate “Equality Begins at Home” actions in all 50 state capitals will be planned for 1999, organizers say. For further information, call the March on Washington at 818/891-1748 or e-mail MMOW2000@aol.com Global Gathering of Anglican Bishops Wrangles Over Homosexuality Religion New Service has reported that there’s little chance of agreement on homosexuality among the 750 Anglican bishops gathered for the historic, once-per-decade Lambeth Conference in Canterbury, England in July. Bishop Duncan Buchanan of Johannesburg, South Africa, chair of a study panel on human sexuality, told reporter Robert Nowell that he was “pretty shocked and traumatized” by expressions of anger by those opposed to ordination of gays and lesbians. Two-thirds of his sixty-member panel rejected hearing from openly gay and lesbian priests and members. The opposition was led largely by African and Asian bishops. One African bishop called homosexuality “the white disease” and another suggested that next they’d be hearing from those who practice child abuse and bestiality. The UK’s Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement distributed rainbow ribbons for participants to show support. Bishop Richard Holloway, primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church, defended gay people by declaring, “In Christ there are no outcasts.” More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Erratum: In the annual listing of welcoming congregations in the Winter issue, Family of Christ Presbyterian Church in Greeley, Colorado, was mistakenly identified as Family of Christ United. OPEN AND AFFIRMING Plymouth United Church of Christ Syracuse, NY This downtown church of 300 members is Open and Affirming, a Just Peace congregation, and a Sanctuary church which provided safety for Central Americans fleeing to this country. It carries out its “building ministry” by making its facility available to numerous community groups seeking meeting space. The congregation’s local and global mission projects include: a food pantry, Heifer Project, and support for two missionaries in Nigeria. The congregation is currently in a search process for a long-term interim pastor. Their former pastor (of seventeen years) is now retracing the path of slavery on the year-long walk, Interfaith Pilgrimage of the Middle Passage. Friends Congregational Church, UCC College Station, TX The 175 members of this church are drawn from throughout the community around Texas A&M University. With many members in their 40s, a growing youth presence, and lot of babies, the church is a lively and hopeful place. Members are currently considering these mission objectives for the next few years: education on non-violence, ministry with diverse families, and continuing ministry to marginalized persons, including those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender. The church helps sponsor g/l/b/t campus programs and provides meeting space for the local PFLAG chapter. RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS Christ United Methodist Church Columbia, Maryland Christ UMC was founded in 1975 in the growing “planned community” of Columbia, Maryland. After ten years of meeting in different places in the area, the congregation planned and built an interfaith center with a Unitarian congregation. Discussion about becoming a Reconciling Congregation began in the fall of 1995. Being a multi-racial congregation set the context for considering inclusion of gay and lesbian persons. After two years of study and dialogue, the congregation officially declared itself a Reconciling Congregation. Significant membership growth in recent years has brought the congregation to almost 200 members. Summer 1998 31 First United Methodist Church Campbell, California First UMC Campbell was founded 110 years ago in the midst of vast orchards and now finds itself in the heart of the Silicon Valley. This 900-member, middle-class congregation has a history of active service. First UMC initiated what is now a community wide CROP Walk and has sponsored refugees, held English as a Second Language classes, supported missionaries and participated in the development of Wesley Towers, a 12- story housing complex for elderly and disabled persons. First UMC members participate in food distribution programs and address affordable housing issues. The church has an extensive ministry with children, a strong music program, and supports a new Christian fellowship developing in the Salinas area. The church has always prided itself on being an open congregation, providing the impetus for becoming a Reconciling Congregation and continuing its efforts to become more reflective of the ethnic diversity of its community. RECONCILING IN CHRIST Gift of Grace Lutheran Church Seattle, Washington Gift of Grace Lutheran Church is a warm congregation with a sense of humor, firm dedication to evangelical outreach to the unchurched, and commitment to worship as an authentic celebration. The Bible as it reveals Jesus as Lord is the basis for the church’s thought, and all opinions are welcomed and encouraged. Church members value self-expression through the arts. They believe that human beings are defined by God’s Word, which calls them as precious children— not by sexual orientation, level of self-esteem, or religious beliefs. University Lutheran Church of Hope Minneapolis, Minnesota University Lutheran Church of Hope is an urban congregation of 1200 members. Its mission statement says: “The people of Hope are a Christian congregation receiving and sharing the gospel with open hearts, open hands, and open doors.” Hope adopted an Affirmation of Welcome in 1990 and, after intensive discussion, has now clarified that welcome in relation to the Reconciling in Christ program. In keeping with its broad interest in issues of social justice, Hope is currently hosting the Twin Cities joint synod task force’s program for families and friends of gay and lesbian people, entitled “Caring Families and Friends.” The group meets monthly for support and inspirational speakers. OPEN AND AFFIRMING MINISTRIES Bethany Christian United Parish Worcester, Massachusetts During their annual meeting in May, 1998, Bethany Christian United Parish voted to become Open and Affirming, believing that all people are always welcome. A 1988 merger of three congregations from three denominations—American Baptist, Disciples of Christ, and the United Church of Christ— the parish has worked to create an inclusive and diverse community. Baptisms, confirmations, infant dedications, and Communion are shared in the midst of denominational diversity. Lively intergenerational worship is celebrated, with many warm friendships developing between children and senior citizens. Youths are recognized as equal members, serving on committees and serving communion, and helped guide the parish in its process of becoming Open and Affirming. Lesbians or family members of gays and lesbians have recently joined. Rev. Cynthia Maybeck celebrated a commitment ceremony with her partner, Elaine Fadden, in 1995, and the church’s leaders supported her and provided leadership in the congregational discussion that followed. She writes, “Today Bethany Christian offers other gay and lesbian people the same warm welcome and love which Elaine and I have received.” WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. BISEXUAL RESOURCE GUIDE New 1999-2000 edition now available. Full of useful information: articles, listings of groups in 30+ countries, Internet resources, film guide, bibliography, merchandise, and lots of other information. This is THE place to begin. To order: $11.95 (US) to: BRC, PO Box 639, Cambridge MA 02140, USA 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ___ From One Womb at One Table (Fall 1997) ___ We’re Welcoming, Now What? (Winter 1998) ___ Treasure in Earthen Vessels—Sexual Ethics (Spring 1998) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Selected Resources With thanks to Robyn Ochs of the Bisexual Resource Center (Cambridge, MA) and to Ben Roe. CHURCH & FAITH: Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in the Church by Leanne McCall Tigert. Cleveland: United Church Press, 1996. Discovering Images of God; Narratives of Care Among Lesbians and Gays by Larry Kent Graham. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1997. We Were Baptized Too; Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays by Marilyn Alexander and James Preston. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996. Whee! We, Wee, All the Way Home; A Guide to a Sensual, Prophetic Spirituality by Matthew Fox. Santa Fe: Bear & Co., 1981. Unrepentant, Self-Affirming, Practicing: Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay People Within Organized Religion by Gary David Comstock. NY: Continuum, 1996. BISEXUAL REALITY: Barry and Alice; Portrait of a Bisexual Marriage by Barry Kohn and Alice Matusow. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1980. Bi Any Other Name: Bisexuals Speak Out, ed. by Loraine Hutchins & Lani Kaahumanu. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1991. 75 essays. Bisexuality and HIV/AIDS: A Global Perspective, ed. by Rob Tielman, et al. Buffalo, NY: Prometheus Books, 1991. Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority, ed. by Beth A. Firestein. Newbury Park CA: Sage Publications, 1996. Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions, ed. by Naomi Tucker et al. Binghamton NY: The Haworth Press, Inc. (Order: 1-800/342-9678) Bisexual Resource Guide by Robyn Ochs. (US$11.95, postage paid) BRC, PO Box 639, Cambridge MA 02140. Books, films, groups, merchandise, etc. Closer to Home: Bisexuality & Feminism, ed. by Elizabeth Reba Weise. Seattle: Seal Press, 1992. Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality, ed. by Martin S. Weinberg, et al. NY: Oxford University Press, 1994. Journal of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Identity, ed. by Warren J. Blumenfeld. Human Sciences Press, 233 Spring Street, New York NY 10013. Quarterly. Annual subscription: $35/individual, $110/ institutional. Plural Desires: Writing Bisexual Women’s Realities, ed. by Leela Acharya, et al. Toronto: Sister Vision Press, 1995. Canadian/ U.S. anthology. Two Lives to Lead: Bisexuality in Men and Women by Fritz Klein and Timothy J. Wolf. NY: Harrington Park, 1985. Vice Versa: Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life by Marjorie Garber. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1995. Literature and culture. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 14 No 1 - Bisexuality Both/And Rather Than Either/Or https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a896b77a79871a5797b196af17f8d67f.pdf 7abdee071f9e020d58aa9e301bddd471 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 14 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1998 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document l A H O U SE Dl VlDE D lrreconcilable Differences? A Broken Body Breaks Bread Gay and Catholic Gay and Republican and Christian Mammon’s Control of the Church Matthew Shepard’s Martyrdom Vol. 14 No. 2 Fall 1998 2 Open Hands Vol. 14 No. 2 Fall 1998 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada), the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples of Christ), the Open and Affirming Program (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran). Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These seven programs—along with Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming Congregations (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, requests for advertising rates, and other business correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1998 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 Printed on recycled paper. Publisher Mark Bowman Interim Editor Chris Glaser Designer In Print—Jan Graves With this issue, we warmly welcome the Affirming Congregation Programme of the United Church of Canada as a full ecumenical partner of Open Hands. A HOUSE DIVIDED Irreconcilable Differences? A House Divided 4 CHRIS GLASER So what’s new? Where the lines should be drawn. One Loaf, One Cup, One Body—While a Church Divided 5 AGNES NORFLEET Common meal as common ground. A Soul Divided—Rejecting a Gay Identity 8 JEFF MURPHY-HOLT Meeting “WasGay” on line. Can My Son Be Gay and Catholic? 9 Reconciling Teachings with Experience CASEY LOPATA A family undivided while practicing what the church preaches. Can You Be Gay and Republican? 11 RICH TAFEL As easily as being gay and Christian. ‘War of Ideas’—An Imbalance of Power 13 LEON HOWELL The moneyed interests we’re up against in the Body of Christ and the Body Politic. Purchasing Power of the Press—An Example 14 EUGENE TESELLE The long shadow cast by one churchman with money. Call for Articles for Open Hands Summer 1999 CREATIVE CHAOS Theme section: “Those who have turned the world upside down have come here also,” the religious authorities told the political authorities regarding Christians (Acts 17). How has the welcoming movement turned things upside down? What traditional constructs of the church have we questioned or “undone”? How may the soil that we have tilled—chaos—become fertile ground for creative thought and action? Ministries section: We are seeking columns describing practical experience and suggestions in the following areas: Welcoming Process, Connections (with other justice issues), Worship, Outreach, Leadership, Health (those related to lesbians and gay men, such as breast cancer and AIDS), Youth, Campus, Children. These brief articles may or may not have to do with the theme. Contact with idea by April 15, 1999 Manuscript deadline: June 15, 1999 Chris Glaser, Phone/Fax 404/622-4222 or e-mail at ChrsGlaser@aol.com 991 Berne St. SE, Atlanta, GA 30316 Fall 1998 3 Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 www.rcp.org Ron Coughlin Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada) P.O. Box 333, Station Q Toronto, Ontario CANADA M4T 2M5 416/466-1489 acpucc@aol.com Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 www.coalition.simplenet.com Bob Gibeling Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 www.lcna.org Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 http://www.mlcn.org Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 http://users.aol.com/ wabaptists Open & Affirming Minstries (Disciples of Christ) P.O. Box 44400 Indianapolis, IN 46244 http://pilot.msu.edu/user/ laceyj/ Editorial Advisory Committee Vaughn Beckman, O&A Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Allen V. Harris, O&A Tom Harshman, O&A Dick Hasbany, MLCN Alyson Huntly, ACP Bonnie Kelly, ACP Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Margarita Suaréz, ONA Judith Hoch Wray, O&A Stuart Wright, RIC Movement News ..................................... 30 Welcoming Communities ....................... 30 Selected Resources .................................. 32 A Public Apology 15 GIL ALEXANDER-MOEGERLE Co-founder of Focus on the Family confesses complicity. Ecumenical Politeness Reconsidered 17 Transcending Denominational Divisions to Address Concerns of Justice MARY E. HUNT Miss Manners meets Ms. Justice. A Soulforce Response 20 MEL WHITE Responding non-violently to our opponents. Thoughts on the L/G/B/T Religious Movement 21 MARK BOWMAN Increasing our power and lift to overcome inertia and gravity. Walking in the Moonlight 23 RITA NAKASHIMA BROCK The challenge of faith: to live with ambiguity. MINISTRIES Outreach In Memory of Matthew Shepard (1976-1998) 25 The Need to Pray Always and Not Lose Heart CHRIS GLASER Health Discerning the Nearness of God 26 Lectio Divina and AIDS PATRICIA HOFFMAN Campus From Jeffrey to Angels 27 Education for Gay/Lesbian Advocacy in a Theological Seminary J. CY ROWELL Connections Homosexuality, European Churches, the Ecumenical 27 Movement, and the WCC Meeting in Harare ROBERT C. LODWICK SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Believers, Here We Gather 29 A NEW HYMN BY THOMAS J. RITTER The artist-in-residence for this issue is Mary Callaway Logan, a United Methodist minister in Atlanta, who uses art in spiritual direction in her Seeds of Light Studio by encouraging individuals to visually express their spiritual autobiographies. For more information, contact her at 443 Sterling St. NE, Atlanta, GA 30307; 404/524-1427, ext. 4. Next Issue: Why Be Specific In Our Welcome? 4 Open Hands “And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand,” Jesus told his detractors (Mk 3:25). He said it in reply to an accusation that he had cast out demonic spirits by the power of Satan, and he then condemned such blasphemy against the Holy Spirit’s work (3:28-30). Yet Jesus would later say of the disagreement his gospel would bring to households, “Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! From now on five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three...” (Lk 12:51-52). The church has been divided against itself since the early days when Jewish and Gentile Christians wrangled over circumcision. One could say that divisions of the church have served as much as a sign of strength as of weakness. For one thing, it offered a vitality of dialogue required of any true religion, as opposed to a cult that demands complete conformity. For another, it offered a collective and communal expression of faith that, while shaped by Jesus’ and the disciples’ teachings, took on its own life that was more than the sum of its parts, past or present. And for that reason, it was capable of adapting to new situations and new information just as any living being might be, thus better able to embrace more and more people, even if that occured within differing Christian traditions. In the present time, there seems no more divisive issue than homosexuality in the church, though bisexuality and transgendered issues are surfacing more and more as “cutting edge” issues, as the cliché with sacrificial overtones goes. I believe, as do some of the contributors to this issue of Open Hands, that homosexuality serves as a kind of Rorschach test of the true divisions that our various denominations have lived with more or less successfully in the past: disagreements of theological understanding, biblical interpretation, the meaning of church membership and of ordination. Of course, in the past, often the way the church survived was to divide up into various traditions and denominations and even sects. And though we may lament such divisions of the Body of Christ, “decentralizing” the church allowed for still more people to remain Christian. Many Christians today may be wondering if we must divide again. Of course, divisions are already in place, with the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches embracing l/g/b/t people whom other denominations have abandoned or rejected. And Open Hands represents more than 850 welcoming congregations and ministries that would collectively represent an even larger church body than UFMCC. Yet the welcoming programs that sponsor Open Hands have never been about schism. We have always been about dialogue and inclusiveness. The term dialogue comes from root words meaning literally “through the word,” and implies finding a common ground of belief and practice of the faith through words and, for us, common ground for people along the spectrums of sexuality and gender within the church. Our understanding of inclusiveness has meant we have never required the expulsion of our opponents in the church in the way that they have sometimes demanded our excommunication or simply invited us to leave, blaspheming against the work of the Holy Spirit within us. Dialogue, however, requires equity. Whether our churches simply “agree to disagree” or to carry on further “dialogue,” l/g/b/t people remain second class citizens, disabled by antigay polities from equal access to the policymaking or polity-interpreting church courts. We remain “out” while others are “in,” and, without equal opportunity to communicate, effectively “excommunicated.” Church historian Martin Marty has said that churches are being skewed more and more to the right, because, when liberals come to power, they encourage the continued participation of conservatives; but when conservatives come to power, they try to purge the church of progressives (see Mary Hunt’s article). That, plus the church’s basic inertia (the tendency to keep doing things the same old way) and the money behind our opponents (see the articles by Leon Howell and Gene TeSelle), make our work feel like that of Sisyphus, who perpetually rolled a stone to the top of a hill only to have it roll down again. I once worked in a church that prided itself on being inclusive. Then one day a person began attending who literally and persistently threatened individuals in the congregation, causing some to avoid church to avoid him. Violence was feared, and when it came, the elders accepted his offer not to return. We lost three other members, friends of his, because they felt we were behaving in a noninclusive fashion. But to be inclusive, we believed we had to exclude this angry man. In all my years as a gay activist in the church, I’ve never disputed the church’s right to define its boundaries in terms of belief and behavior. What I have disputed is where those boundaries should be drawn. Does the church really want to include someone who is intolerant of l/g/b/t people at the expense of excluding l/g/b/t people? Or wouldn’t it be more Christ-like to be intolerant of intolerance? Fall 1998 5 We are a church in great pain and conflict, and everyone here today knows it. We are a church divided, in Greater Atlanta Presbytery, and in our denomination. During the course of this meeting we will take a vote that will show how divided we are. On the surface of things the division appears to be about human sexuality, particularly homosexuality, and church leadership. But below the surface the division is even deeper than that. We are divided by different understandings of biblical interpretation, and Reformed theology; and by how we understand human sin and God’s grace. We are a church divided and the pain of our division runs deep. No matter how the vote goes today, not one person will go home a winner, because about half of us will go home feeling defeated, and when one part of the body suffers, we all suffer together. Parallels with Corinth The similarities between the church in Corinth and the church today are surprisingly real. Corinth was, like Atlanta, an international city. It was a large commercial port and trading center between East and West, a big city with big city benefits and problems— renown for its commerce, industry, wealth, luxury and immorality. Many came to the city for work with the military, in government service, and because of business with foreign traders. Business was dominated by an upper class of mostly Italians, and there was an influx of Greeks, Asians, and Jews who comprised a lower, working class. The eighteen months that Paul was in Corinth was sufficient time to begin several house churches, but not time enough to provide stability for such a diverse community of believers. All this diversity gave rise to conflict and tension which is evident in Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth. There were differing opinions about matters of human sexuality. Some had quit sleeping with their own spouses because of their commitment to Christ, while another was living with his father’s wife. Some thought they should break completely with the past, refusing meat that had been offered to idols, but others had no problem with that, after all, meat is meat. There were divisions about displaying the gifts of the Spirit in worship, about the role of women in the church, about freedom and communal responsibility, about the meaning of the resurrection.1 No wonder they wrote to Paul and said, “Help!” A Division of the House Paul wrote back, and in the center of the letter he gets to the heart of the matter (see 1 Cor 11:17-34). The Words of Institution of the Lord’s Supper are usually lifted out of this biblical context, and we lose sight of their impact. Paul is saying to a church he founded and a people he loved, “When you come together, there are divisions among you, and this is not the Lord’s Supper which you eat.” The central problem that Paul is addressing at Corinth is not a problem of sacramental theology. Rather it is a problem of social relations within a divided community. Remember the church met in people’s homes. Archeological study of houses from this period has shown that the dining room of a typical villa could accommodate about nine or ten persons who would recline at table for the meal. Other guests would have to sit or stand in the atrium which might have provided space for thirty to forty people. The host of such a gathering would invite a small elite group to dine in the dining room, while lowerstatus members of the church would be placed in the larger space outside. The higher-status guests in the dining room would be served better food and wine than the others. A number of surviving writings from this period testify to this custom. Roman scholar Pliny the Younger, describes his experience of dining as a guest in someone’s home saying: “The best dishes were set in front of the host himself and a select few, and cheap scraps of food before the rest of the company. He had even put the wine into tiny little flasks, divided into three This sermon was delivered during the opening Communion service of a meeting of Greater Atlanta Presbytery, February 28, 1998, that was to vote on whether to relax the denomination’s policy that essentially prohibits ordination of lesbians and gay men. A few specific references have been removed to universalize this article. We are a church in great pain and conflict, and everyone here today knows it. We are a church divided... 6 Open Hands categories. One lot was intended for himself and for us, another for his lesser friends (all his friends were graded) and the third for his and our freedmen.”2 This was the sort of hospitality that was being provided to the church by the wealthier Corinthian Christians. As patrons of the community hosting the gatherings, they were continuing to observe these class distinctions even when the Lord’s Supper was being served. Paul regards such practices— however “normal” in respectable Corinthian culture— as an outrage. He does not deny the right of the more prosperous to eat and drink however they like in their own homes, but he insists that the church’s common meal should symbolize the unity of the community through equitable sharing of food and drink. You who are rich are coming early and eating all the food, and getting drunk. The poor, who are day laborers and have less control over their time, arrive late from work and when they arrive—there is no food left; they are going away hungry! You are not making room for one another at the table, Paul is saying to the church. This kind of meal is hardly communal, much less the Lord’s Supper! In the church there is no hierarchy of status. The solemnity of the Words of Institution handed down from Jesus to Paul to us is a sharp contrast to the firstcome- first-served, me-in-you-out, kind of revelry described as characteristic of the Corinthian church. It was while he was being betrayed that our Lord Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it. In the divisiveness of the Corinthian church, the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper affirms a new covenant, and invites a new kind of community. A Surplus of Scholars and a Deficit of Peacemakers Garrison Keillor, one of America’s great storytellers, once told about two brothers who live in Lake Wobegon. They were members of a tiny fundamentalist bunch known as the Sanctified Brethren. There was in this group a spirit of self-righteousness among certain elders that defied peacemaking. They were, Keillor tells, “Given to disputing small points of doctrine that to them seemed the very fulcrum of the faith. We were cursed with a surplus of scholars and a deficit of peacemakers, and so we tended to be split into factions.” When he was a boy, a dispute arose between two men: Brother William Miller and Brother James Johnson, but of course they dragged others into it, too. Uncle Al had family and friends on both sides, and it broke Al’s heart to see these brothers become enemies. So one fine August day, Uncle Al tried to make peace between them, to restore the love that had been lost. He arranged for them to meet at his and Aunt Flo’s house one Sunday, a few Millers and a few Johnsons, not to discuss their difference in doctrine, but simply to enjoy a dinner of Aunt Flo’s famous fried chicken. It took weeks to arrange, but finally the two groups of brothers arrived—in separate cars, of course. Gaunt, flintyeyed, thin-lipped men in dark suits came into the house and sat in awesome silence until the call to dinner.They trooped into the dining room around the long table that had been extended with two leaves so they wouldn’t have to sit close. “House of Bread” God tells us, “Out of Bethlehem (“house of bread”) I will call my Beloved.” “We are all God’s bread, and the church is a community of bread of all kinds and shapes. When I began to make the steeple ‘splitting,’ my husband said, ‘It looks like a highway.’ I wonder, where will all of us go, on that highway?” Mary Callaway Logan Fall 1998 7 Now, prayer was a delicate matter. Brethren were known to use even prayer before a meal as a platform, and so Uncle Al, the peacemaker, concerned lest one brother take prayer and beat the others over the head with it, said, “Let us bow our heads in silent prayer, giving thanks for the meal.” They bowed their heads and closed their eyes and—a long time passed. The old clock ticked on the bureau. A cat walked in and meowed and left. A child snickered. Cars went by. There were dry sniffs and clearings. Soon it was clear that neither side wanted to stop before the other. They were seeing who could pray the longest. Brother Miller peeked through his fingers at Brother Johnson, who was earnestly engaged in silent communion with the Lord, who agreed with him on so many things. So Brother Miller dove back into prayer, too. Uncle Al finally said, “AMEN” to offer them a way out of the deadlock. He even said it again, “AMEN,” but it was no use. It was becoming the longest table grace in history. Then Aunt Flo slid her chair back, rose, went into the kitchen, and brought out the food they were competing to see who could be more thankful for. She set the hot dishes before them. In that moment, a kind of pointed, poignant truth settled among them and they could hardly bear it. Tears ran down Brother Johnson’s face. His eyes were clamped shut, and tears streamed down. A meal awaits us all this morning. lt will not deaden the pain we are experiencing as a church divided, but it has the power to melt our stony hearts. With their eyes closed, the smell of fried chicken and gravy made those men into boys again. lt was years ago, they were fighting, and a mother’s voice from on high said, ‘You boys stop it and get in here and have your dinners. Now. l mean it.’ And so was Brother Miller weeping. Keillor observes, “It’s true what they say, that smell is the key that unlocks our deepest memories. With their eyes closed, the smell of fried chicken and gravy made those men into boys again. It was years ago, they were fighting, and a mother’s voice from on high said, ‘You boys stop it and get in here and have your dinners. Now. I mean it.’ The blessed cornmeal crust and rapturous gravy brought the memory to mind. And the stony hearts of two giants melted. They raised their heads and filled their plates and slowly peace was made over that glorious meal.”3 A Meal to Meld Our Hearts I am a part of a group of ministers in this presbytery who share a meal together once a month. This group was convened just over a year ago before we had a similar vote. There are ten of us in it now. We serve different churches, large and small, urban, suburban, small town. What brought us together in the first place was our differences. We were, a year ago, evenly divided on the issues before us again today. Each month we gather in one of our churches, we have lunch, we talk, we laugh, we cry, we pray together. We call ourselves Common Ground. Part of me can’t stand these lunches because of our divisions. Sometimes when I go it takes me about a week to get over. My husband has reminded me that many evenings after one of these meetings I come home exasperated and exclaim, “I don’t understand why they don’t think like I do!” But we keep getting back together. Out of our understanding of scripture and deep convictions, some of our group come to this vote feeling very strongly that homosexual persons should not hold leadership positions in the church. Some of us, including myself, count among our richest blessings the colleagues we have in ministry, ministers, elders, deacons, friends, who are homosexual. In over a year of meetings, we have not changed our minds. We are still divided on this issue. But something important has happened. In the midst of our conflict and painful division, we have, by the grace of God, made room for one another at the table. A meal awaits us all this morning. It will not deaden the pain we are experiencing as a church divided, but it has the power to melt our stony hearts. When the tops are taken off those trays a fragrance is going to fill the air. And for a moment, by Christ’s body broken for us, we will share one loaf, one cup, and become one body. Agnes W. Norfleet is the pastor of North Decatur Presbyterian Church. Notes 1Fred B. Craddock, “Preaching to Corinthians,” Interpretation: A Journal of Bible and Theology, April, 1990, p. 160. 2Richard B. Hays, First Corinthians, Interpretation Commentary. Louisville: John Knox Press, 1997, p. 192 ff. 3Garrison Keillor, “Brethren”, Leaving Home, p 161. 8 Open Hands Not long ago, I had a discussion with a young man in an Internet chatroom named Ron (not his real name). His sign-on name, “WasGay,” captured my attention, and I could not resist the urge to talk with him about it. By using this name, he was proclaiming to have once been “sexually broken”—or, homosexual— but had been “repaired by the grace of God through Jesus.” While he was claiming to have been saved from eternal damnation, I sensed a sad and solitary soul deeply buried under an elaborate pretense. He struck me as perhaps the loneliest person I had ever encountered. Ron did not divulge much about his family history, but it was obvious that he came from a family with strong fundamentalist roots. Clearly he had been abused emotionally, which is not uncommon among fundamentalists. He had been asked to die to his true self. Because I was not Ron’s counselor, I did not have to be impartial and unbiased. I took great pains to treat him respectfully, but I was angry at what had been done to him, and what he had done to himself: Ron had been robbed of his spirit and told that it had no value. He had allowed himself to be convinced that God’s love is conditional, and he was certain that he had to somehow “change” in order to receive eternal salvation. He was so sure of this, in fact, that he was eager to prove to everyone that he had changed and was now “worthy.” He was suppressing and trying to leave behind the very soul of who he was, seeing it as something not only detachable, but evil. By pretending to be something he is not, Ron was buying what he thinks salvation is, not from God, but from those around him. Unfortunately, their God is one of retribution and fear, nothing like the loving God whose help we ask to “accept the things we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Saying one “doesn’t agree” with homosexuality is like saying one doesn’t agree with rain. According to both the American Psychological Association and American Medical Association, it is now considered an ethical violation to try to change a person’s sexual orientation through counseling. Many people, who cannot conform to society’s biases, resort to pretending that they do— in effect, ceasing to exist as themselves. Ron effectively chose to cease to exist as one who is free to think and feel and reason and come to his own conclusions, thereby having his own unique relationship with God. And what is suicide, but choosing not to live under the circumstances with which you have been given? What else is it called but suicide when he feels he cannot go on living the way he is? Is it living when one believes that he is unworthy of love and acceptance from God and others unless he can somehow be something other than what he is, and if he can’t, pretend to be? Jesus came to give life, not take it away. When a fellow “chatroomer” asked me what I thought of WasGay’s proclamation of being “sexually healed” and if I thought I could learn from his “courageous” example, I responded that since gay people have pretended to be “straight” almost from the beginning of time I could see nothing miraculous about it. While talking with Ron, in fact, I realized that indeed I had been there myself, posturing myself as an “ex-gay,” or at least, a “non-gay.” I would daresay anyone who is lesbian or gay is an “exex- gay” in this regard; we have all come from a period of denial in our lives when we felt we had to pretend and tried to be something other than our true selves, something that society ’ would find more acceptable. While denying ourselves, we tried to be “just like everyone else”— to be what we were expected to be, regardless of the truth. Ron may have fooled many of those he spoke to that night. I was not among them. Having been there myself, I could see only too clearly his loneliness and longing for approval and validation. It was as if he was trying to say, “See? I have done this wonderful thing. Aren’t you proud of me now?” Unable to love himself, he was looking for someone to love him, still. In spite of the fact that Ron had made this major and miraculous conversion in his life for the sake of those around him, he still felt unloved and unworthy. Ironically, Ron showed up later in a gay and lesbian chatroom instead of one of the Christian chatrooms where we had met. My discussion with Ron ended when I spoke ironically of the good fortune of knowing God’s “requirements” about sexuality. Isn’t it fortunate, I asked him, that Christians can be so confident that they are not wrong about any of this? He did not respond. ▼ Jeff Murphy-Holt (left) is a graduate student completing a master’s degree in counseling psychology. He and his partner, Michael, are active members of Kairos United Methodist Church in Kansas City, the first Reconciling Congregation in Missouri. Fall 1998 9 Can Jim be gay and Catholic? That became the big question for me after I got over the initial shock and confusion of learning our son is gay. While Mary Ellen (my wife and Jim’s mother) rode the emotional guilt/doubt/grief roller coaster typified in many stories about parents’ journeys, I logically stepped my way through the theological mine field. That’s what you do when you’re a theology junkie (Vatican documents are beach reading) and nearly fall off the thinker side of those thinker-versus-feeler scales. “Dad, I’m gay.” Those words from Jim were unthinkable for me. All I could say was, “Are you sure?” I didn’t know any gay people (so I thought). I knew virtually nothing about homosexuality. And my vague understanding of church teaching was: homosexuality was wrong. Period. So wrong—you couldn’t even talk about it. Like osmosis, this silence surrounding homosexuality seeped into my consciousness and left me with the notion that no sin was worse than homosexuality. As a thinker, I was forced to bring some rationality to this irrational belief, and to the feelings that were there, though unacknowledged. I had to know: Can Jim be gay and be Catholic? My first logical step was to think back to the day when I decided whether I was going to be homosexual or heterosexual. I never made such a decision, nor did Jim, nor anyone else I’ve talked with about this. And I discovered that church documents support the unchosen, fixed nature of sexual orientation. The U.S. Bishops refer to “those persons for whom homosexuality is a permanent, seemingly irreversible sexual orientation,” 1 and their Committee on Marriage and Family says, “Generally, homosexual orientation is experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen.”2 Learning that Jim didn’t choose his homosexuality was a giant first step for me. But, I wondered, “Why does Jim have this orientation?” I readily dismissed a 19th century theory that said homosexuality was caused by the habitual drinking of English tea and the pernicious influence of Italian opera! How ill-informed we’ve been! Yet that’s understandable, considering that scientists didn’t start studying this concept until the mid 1800’s, and the Catholic church didn’t officially acknowledge sexual orientation until 1975. “OK, that helps,” I thought. But I was sure my next step was going to be into quicksand! Is homosexuality a sin? Surprise! The Vatican unequivocally states: “The particular inclination of a homosexual person is not a sin.”3 Of course! A homosexual orientation can’t be a sin if it’s not a choice. In fact, church teaching says sexuality is a gift, and “Sexual identity helps to define the unique persons we are, and one component of our sexual identity is sexual orientation.” 4 But what about what these feelings might lead to? What about homogenital acts? As I expected, the Vatican says: “It is only in the marital relationship that the use of the sexual faculty can be morally good.”5 And the U.S. Bishops say: “Homosexual activity…as distinguished from homosexual orientation, is morally wrong.” But, they continue: “Like heterosexual persons, homosexuals are called to give witness to chastity, avoiding, with God’s grace, behavior which is wrong for them, just as nonmarital sexual relations are wrong for heterosexuals.”6 Whoa! What hit me, probably because I’m heterosexual, is the part that says: “just as nonmarital sexual relations are wrong for heterosexuals.” This tells me if Jim has sexual relations outside of marriage, he violates church-established moral norms; just like my heterosexual son Andy, if he has sexual relations outside of marriage; just like my married daughter, Linda, if she uses artificial birth control; and just like me if I masturbate. OK, but logically I thought: “Since church law restricts marriage to a man and woman, doesn’t this mean homogenital behavior is always a sin?” Well, the Vatican says: “In fact, circumstances may exist, or may have existed in the past, which would reduce or remove the culpability of the individual [engaged in homosexual activity]…in a given instance.”7 Wow! The Vatican says homogenital acts are not necessarily always a sin! I recalled the old Baltimore Catechism— three things are necessary for mortal sin: 1) the thought, desire, word, action or omission must be seriously wrong 2) the person must know it’s seriously wrong, and 3) the person must fully consent to it. And only God knows how knowledgeable and how free we really are. Along with all this I learned the church recommends a pastoral approach. For example, a Vatican theologian and author of one of its documents, in a newspaper interview, said: “When one is dealing with people who are so predominately homosexual that they will be in serious personal and perhaps social trouble unless they attain a steady partnership within their homosexual lives, one can recommend them to seek such a partnership and one accepts this relationship as the best they can do in their present situation.”8 I later learned this is based on the moral principle that no one is obliged to do what is impossible for them to do. During my journey, I read that Catholic church teaching says six biblical texts clearly say homosexual behavior is immoral. But my journey also led me to Scroggs, Furnish, and other biblical scholars, who convincingly argue the Bible is not really so clear on this. So at this point in my journey—and it was a meandering 14-year process, not the series of logical steps I’ve presented here—I’d learned that it is not a sin for Jim to have a homosexual orientation, and that Jim can be gay and a faithful Catholic, just like any other faithful 10 Open Hands Catholic who struggles with objective moral norms established by the church. The U.S. Bishops say it well: “Homosexual [persons], like everyone else, should not suffer from prejudice against their basic human rights. They have a right to respect, friendship, and justice. They should have an active role in the Christian community.”9 Through this process, I also learned a thinker has feelings too! Since my son is gay, I’m personally affected by these teachings, and I would like some of them to change. I learned that’s OK too. Because none of this teaching is infallible… which means, of course, it can change. But will it? Change springs from unresolved tensions. Here are three: 1. The Catholic church says it’s OK for gay people to be gay as long as they’re celibate, yet the church also teaches that celibacy is a gift. Are all gay people gifted with the ability to live a celibate lifestyle? 2. Catholic church teaching considers homosexual orientation to be a sexual deviation, a “disorder.” The church also teaches there can be no conflict between faith and reason, yet the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association consider homosexual orientation to be a natural sexual variation. 3. Not only was church teaching formulated without the participation of openly gay and lesbian people, but the teaching doesn’t take into account the lived experience of many faithful, gay and lesbian Catholics— real people— made in the image and likeness of God, who, like all of us, struggle to do what God calls us to do. Change in church teaching is possible, but the official church tends to move very, very slowly. So, what do I do today? Well, that brought me to another teaching that surprises many Catholics—the primacy of conscience. The Catechism puts it very simply: “A human being must always obey the certain judgment of his [or her] conscience.” [My emphasis]10 “Wow!”, I thought, “That’s pretty clear!” Does that mean we can do anything we want? Theologian Charles Curran answered that for me—quite concisely: We must obey our conscience, but our conscience might be wrong. This led me to the concept of moral discernment in the Catholic moral tradition. The church suggests looking at experience, reason (including the sciences), tradition (church teaching), and scripture. Why all four? Because each has been wrong. Consider the flatness of earth (experience), the theory that babies came only from the man (reason), the excommunication of Galileo (tradition), or slavery (scripture). But what if church teaching and our conscience do not agree? Church teaching itself says we should start with the presumption that church teaching is right. Then, consider scripture, reason, and our experience, and return to the ultimate question: Are we responding to the God revealed in Jesus Christ? Bishop Thomas Gumbleton gave me an example of how to balance church teaching and conscience when he said, “I don’t make judgments about a gay person’s conscience any more than about the military man at a SAC air base or on a Trident submarine who would fire a nuclear weapon if ordered to. I think in some ways the church teaching on that is clearer than on homosexuality…Anybody who has the intention of using such weapons is, in my judgment, in a situation that is drastically evil. And yet I cannot judge another person’s conscience. If that person comes to communion, I cannot refuse.”11 Church teaching, personal sin, conscience, discernment. Intellectually, I found Jim can certainly be gay and Catholic. But this discovery was still in my thinker’s world of theology and homosexuality until I heard Bishop Kenneth Untener. Speaking to a largely gay and lesbian audience, he said: “When we die, and as a moral theologian I don’t say this lightly, the only thing that will matter is how we treated each other.”12 That’s when I realized the final step of my journey was getting to know and love many faithful Catholic gay people who like our son, Jim, are made in the image of God and are loved by God, who love God and love their neighbors as themselves. That’s how I really know Jim can be gay and Catholic. ▼ Casey Lopata, shown here with his son, Jim, is cofounder of Catholic Gay & Lesbian Family Ministry which advocates for and facilitates pastoral care for Catholic g/l persons and their families/households on behalf of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Rochester. A member of St. Mary’s Church, PFLAG, the Catholic Parents Network and the National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries, he gives presentations with Mary Ellen, his wife, in parishes, high schools, and conferences. Notes 1National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Human Sexuality: A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning, U.S. Catholic Conference, 1991, 54-55. 2National Council of Catholic Bishops, Committee on Marriage and Family, Always Our Children, 3rd printing, revised June 1998, p. 6. 3Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986, #3. 4Always Our Children, p. 7. 5Letter to the Bishops, #7. 6National Conference of Catholic Bishops, To Live in Christ Jesus: A Pastoral Reflection on the Moral Life, 1976, #52. 7Letter to the Bishops, #11. 8Jan Visser, in The Clergy Review (London), 1976, v. 61, p. 233. 9To Live in Christ Jesus, op. cit. #52, and Human Sexuality, op. cit. 55. 10Catechism of the Catholic Church, U.S. Catholic Conference, 1994, #1790. 11Tom Roberts, He’s Not Disordered, He’s My Brother, National Catholic Reporter, Nov. 4, 1994, 6. 12Bishop Kenneth E. Untener, “Hallmarks of the Church” [Address delivered at a New Ways Ministry Symposium, March 28, 1992], in Voices of Hope, Eds. Jeannine Gramick & Robert Nugent,(New York: Center for Homophobia Education, 1995), 151. Fall 1998 11 enemies. Gays were told where we must live, where we should shop, how we should dress, where we should eat, how we should vote and how we could liberate ourselves from our pasts. Too often this “liberation” included throwing off the yoke of patriarchal churches and families. A movement founded in opposition to the religious right found little room within itself to say there were good religious people and bad religious people, or that there were good Republicans and bad Republicans, good families and bad families. In its fear of attack, it painted an uncomplicated world of black and white. It was deliberately the mirror opposite of the world painted by the growing religious right, but equally black and white. The anti-faith bias within the gay community has taken its toll. And I believe that the next phase of the gay movement will be a return to faith and spirituality. The rejection of faith has allowed for a pervasive moral relativism to permeate our side in the political debate. I believe that underlying this ethic is a deep-seated feeling among many gays that yes, in fact, in their quiet moments, they believe that being gay is bad and shameful. So the ethic evolved into the belief that whatever I do is my business and no one else’s. There is no right or wrong in any objective sense, just whatever feels good. Meanwhile, American society increasingly believes that the moral relativism it embraced a generation ago has not held up over time. We see kids killing kids, children having children, intensifying poverty, and new diseases unimagined in earlier times. In record numbers, the baby boomers are going back to church today. And at the same time, mainstream Protestant denominations that embraced therapeutic, moral relativism are watching their numbers drop, while fundamentalists churches grow dramatically. In the midst of America’s culture wars, the religious right has brilliantly and dishonestly become the loudest and most-quoted voice of concern for family ethics and morals. They have an increasingly appealing message to society. Their call for a return to an old-fashioned sense of right and wrong is tied to a nostalgic, mythical view of America of the 1950s. Their message sells because of the vacuum that has been left by the mainstream churches, and they have clear culprits for this chaos: homosexuals and feminists are at the top of the list. The gay community finds itself in the middle of today’s culture war. We are defended by liberals who, increasingly, find themselves on the margins of the cultural debate. We are attacked and demonized by a religious right that grows in size and sophistication and political clout. This is a crucial moment for gay people of faith. I believe that we must define our movement for what it is—a moral movement. Instead of talking about rights that we want or demand, we need to tell the American public that our movement is about a need to be honest, to not bear false witness. We are not only about sex, we are about people who want to love each other. We are not about shoving our agenda down people’s throat, but we do speak for many who remain silently in the closet. We are not about recruiting children, but are about saving kids’ lives. The gay movement, through its spiritual leaders, must articulate a message of morality, though it will not be the morality defined by those who have to date capitalized on this discussion. How can you be gay and Republican?” It’s the question I’m most often asked about my job as the head of Log Cabin Republicans. Many gays and straight liberals ask it with the sense that I’m some sort of a traitor. Republicans wonder because I don’t fit their caricature of what a gay person is. Since there isn’t much of a wall between church and state these days, as these same people find out I’m an ordained American Baptist minister, they always follow up: “How can you be gay and Christian?” Like the questioners of Jesus in Mark, chapter three, those on both sides see me as being, in today’s therapeutic language, a “self-hater” or “kidding myself.” In the language of Galilee in the time of Jesus, they might say I’m possessed by Satan. But a house divided against itself cannot stand, Jesus points out. Yet standing against conventional wisdom of who you must be looks to the world as a personal house divided, when in fact, it may be exactly the place that Christ calls us to be. The reality of politics today is that one in three gays vote Republican, a statistic both gay Democrats and the religious right would like to keep hidden. In issues of faith, I would suggest that a much larger percentage of gays are actively spiritual. But what’s exciting about today’s gay movement is that it’s maturing beyond its adolescence, where the gay establishment held power over the newly forming community. With a fear of outside attacks from political figures and religious figures in the culture wars, gay leaders who called for tolerance and trumpeted diversity ironically established a rigorous conformity within the community. Republicans, the church and even our families were at times posited as “ 12 Open Hands This is the most strategically important thing the gay movement can do right now. It doesn’t require us to pretend to be what we are not, simply to open the door of closeted people of faith within our community. The country needs to hear their story. The next step is where the Holy Spirit comes in. I believe that by employing the love of Jesus, we can change people’s hearts. This is not somesophisticated, focus-grouped political strategy—it is simple faith in the power of God. Two examples come to mind. At a debate with a leader of the religious right at a leading American university, my opponent started to falter in getting his message across. The audience, mostly sympathetic to my argument, began to pounce on my opponent with sarcastic, demeaning comments. Suddenly, I no longer saw my opponent as some jerk who threatened me. Instead, I saw a fellow human being who was under a vicious attack. My political instincts were overridden by my Christian l no longer saw my opponent as some jerk who threatened me. ...My political instincts were overridden by my Christian instincts. l asked the audience to respect his opinion and refrain from attacking him personally. Just as we began, a large band of counter protesters arrived. These men, in the name of Jesus, proceeded to call us every evil gay epithet I’d ever heard, and a few I hadn’t. Tensions grew high in the one hundred degree heat, but we managed to keep our cool. What disgusted me most about the opposition was that they cloaked all of their arguments in the name of God. As far as I was concerned, they were blaspheming God. At one point, I was encircled by the protesters, and I said: “I love you. I love you because God loves me, and only through His love can I love you.” One of the protestors responded: “God does not love you. He hates you. And you’re going to burn in hell if you don’t change.” Fortunately, we caught that moment on videotape. While I wasn’t effective in changing his mind that day, I’ve shown this tape to many Christians who are currently opposed to gay rights, and all have seen the dangers of the church’s rhetoric and they’re embarrassed by that manifestation of it. Slowly but surely through the power of God there will be change. As a gay Christian, I knew that it was nearly impossible for me to fulfill my call through work in a traditional parish. But I believe that my position as a gay Christian Republican, which has put me at the center of one of the most important civil rights battles facing the church and this country, is a call of its own. These are exciting times to be openly gay in America, and there has never been a more important time to be an out gay Christian. This is no time for us to hide any part of who we really are under a bushel, and the possibility to be part of God’s plan for change is tremendous. For information on the Log Cabin Republicans, write to 1633 Q Street N.W. #210, Washington, DC 20009, phone 202/347-5306, fax 202/ 347- 5224, or e-mail: info@lcr.org Visit the group’s website at http://www.lcr.org Rich Tafel, a graduate of Harvard Divinity School, is an ordained American Baptist minister and the executive director of Log Cabin Republicans. He is the author of an as-yet-untitled book, due next spring from Simon and Schuster. instincts. I asked the audience to respect his opinion and refrain from attacking him personally. I got a perplexed look from the audience and an even more perplexed look from my debate partner. When it came to be his time to speak again, he gave a rousing endorsement of me and agreed there could be some common ground on this issue, maybe domestic partnerships. After it was over, he reached over and gave me a hug and thanked me. Following the presentation, one politico in the audience observed to me, “You had him in your sites, but you couldn’t pull the trigger.” While this was intended as an insult, I realized it was actually a compliment in disguise. I do believe that the culture war over homosexuality will be won when we approach it from the perspective of Jesus, not politics as usual. Common ground can’t always be found, but we are called to love our enemy no matter what. I spoke at a rally in Ft. Worth, Texas, in opposition to the homophobic policies of the Texas GOP. “The House of Daily Bread” “When we ask for ‘our daily bread’ in the Lord’s Prayer, we could be asking for just enough ‘understanding’ for today. Life gives us countless experiences of dissonance, as the Psalms record. And yet we ask in return for some bread, some understanding to nourish us for this day.” Mary Callaway Logan Fall 1998 13 Ed. Note: The term “culture wars” used today by the religious right originated in Nazi Germany, when it was used to support “purifying” German culture. The idea of a culture war has been imbedded in our consciousness since James Davison Hunter’s 1991 Culture Wars: The Struggle to Define America and Pat Buchanan’s speech about “a religious war, a culture war” at the 1992 Republican convention. James Dobson, head of the powerful religious right group called “Focus on the Family,” wrote in his 1992 book (coedited with Gary Bauer), Children at Risk: Nothing short of a great Civil War of Values rages today throughout North America. Two sides with vastly different and incompatible worldviews are locked in a bitter conflict that permeates every level of society. Instead of fighting for territory or military conquest, however, the struggle now is for the hearts and minds of people. It is a war over ideas. Paul Weyrich, a key creator of institutions on the right, has said: It’s a war of ideology, it’s a war of ideas, and its a war about our way of life. It has to be fought with the same intensity and dedication as you would fight a shooting war. And Peter Steinfels, who writes a column on religion for the New York Times, wrote in Christianity and Crisis in 1982 about the: growth of a network of intellectual institutions that function to dampen outbreaks of fundamental social criticism. The theory behind this movement is by now well known: that a new class of educated and disaffected “brain workers,” infected with the “adversary culture” they imbibed in college courses or absorbed from a hundred toxic residues of the New Left and the counterculture, will sap the foundations of American foreign policy and domestic economy— unless, that is, this new class can be isolated, browbeaten, discredited, lured, or taught its true interest in a wellfinanced “war of ideas.” The effective strategists of such a war, or so Irving Kristol advised his business readers in the Wall Street Journal, would be dissident members of the new class— to begin with, former leftists like Kristol. Part of the intellectual framework for this activity has been provided by a band of intellectuals called the “neoconservatives.” They emerged from the New York intellectual debates of the 1930s and gained momentum after the Vietnam War. Such names as Jeane Kirkpatrick, Michael Novak, William Bennet, Richard John Neuhaus, Norman Podhoretz, Midge Decter, and George Weigel are associated with them. Many were Democrats. Many were involved in the civil rights movement. Many opposed the Vietnam War but by the 1970s were on a move to the right; they often were defined as hawks on foreign policy, New Deal on social issues. Part of the structure on the right for the war of ideas came from a traditional conservative, Paul Weyrich, founder of the Free Congress Foundation and its cable television arm, National Empowerment Television. Weyrich told me in some detail about how he, as a Senate aide, attended a meeting of liberals early in the Nixon administration. He was stunned at how well coordinated their attack on Nixon’s housing program was. And he departed determined to create similar coherence on the right. Soon he established the Heritage Foundation (where he stayed only a short time) and is given credit for helping to talk Jerry Falwell into heading an organization called the Moral Majority, which Weyrich named. At Heritage and then his own Free Congress Foundation he has raked in money from the Coors family and Scaife and many other corporations and foundations (the Brady Foundation has given $2 million to National Empowerment Tele- The recent demise of Second Stone (see Movement News) for lack of adequate financial support and the need for additional economic solutions to maintain Open Hands makes this article by the editor of the no-longer-published Christianity and Crisis all the more timely. ’ ’ Over the past 25 years corporate sources have funded a proliferation of think tanks and institutions to wage a war of ideas. 14 Open Hands Purchasing Power of the Press An Example Eugene TeSelle Several conservative Christian publications collectively are the lengthened shadow of one disgruntled Presbyterian, J. Howard Pew. According to the official biographical sketch of him (Faith and Freedom, published by Grove City College in 1975), he was the chief funder of three journals in succession. 1. Christian Economics, founded in 1950, championed the free market, limited government, and moral constraints on business activities. Already during the 1950s Pew was objecting to the social pronouncements of the Presbyterian Church, trying to limit the church’s interest in public affairs, and spreading the word that many members were withholding contributions to the General Assembly until it stopped meddling in secular affairs. This drew forth the famous riposte, “We trust that Mr. Pew will tell these friends in unmistakable terms that The United Presbyterian Church in the U.S.A. and its General Assembly are not for sale” (Presbyterian Life, May 15, 1960). 2. Christianity Today was founded in 1956, with Pew as chief financial backer. But he criticized its board in 1964 when the periodical seemed to take too soft a stance against the economic, social, and political statements of the Presbyterian General Assembly in Oklahoma City (this was the Assembly that elected its first black Moderator, Edler Hawkins, and responded to issues ranging from nuclear weapons to civil disobedience and the Civil Rights Act of 1964). 3. In 1967 the Presbyterian Layman was launched. Its first goal was to fight the Confession of 1967 with its theme of reconciliation and the theology behind it. The Presbyterian Lay Committee continues to receive money from the Pew estate. The reports of the Pew Charitable Trusts indicate that it was given $325,000 over two years in 1990, and $375,000 over two years in 1992. It is said of the intensely congregational Churches of Christ, that “they don’t have bishops, they have editors.” You get influence and power when enough people read your periodical. That seems to be what has happened in the PC(USA). Until the denomination decided last year to send out a new “every home” periodical, the Layman was the only channel of information about the church for many people. Eugene TeSelle, a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary and Yale University, is Professor of Church History and Theology at Vanderbilt Divinity School. He is president of the Witherspoon Society, “Presbyterians working for peace and justice, caring for our earth, and helping our Presbyterian Church become more open and inclusive.” vision, part of Weyrich’s operation, which does cable television nationally featuring such people as Gingrich, Robert Novak, the NRA, and the Christian Coalition.). Using ‘Wedge Issues’ to Polarize People Both the neoconservatives and the conservatives have practiced a style of attack that often depends on wedge issues to polarize people. Michael Bauman said it bluntly at an Ethics and Public Policy seminar: The comments that are most successful today are those that are pointed, that are sharp, that are memorable, and that might make your opponent something of a laughingstock…Logical arguments don’t very often win the day…It takes rhetorical power and aggressiveness to mobilize people around your cause. Irving Kristol told his corporate readers to attack the integrity of critical journalists, not to argue with them. Listen to Weyrich use a wedge issue: Abortion is the symbol for a cultural cleavage between those with a sense of community and responsibility and the votaries of imperial individualism, between those whose sons fought in Vietnam and those whose sons chanted mantras for the victories of Ho Chi Minh; between those who worship in churches and those who desecrate them; between those who accept our culture and those who seek to tear it down. Soon feminism and homosexuality joined abortion on the list of wedge issues that divide people politically, religiously, and personally. The conservatives’ pleas for funding were heeded. Over the past 25 years corporate sources have funded a proliferation of think tanks and institutions to wage a war of ideas. The DeVos family of Amway has provided extensive funds for organizations on the right. The powerful Tele-Communications cable television company may start a Christian channel and has talked of supporting National Empowerment Television which so far has a weak group of cable stations. Domino Pizza’s Thomas S. Monaghan heads a foundation that gives away millions to right wing and charismatic Catholic groups. And several foundations have played a crucial part in this funding. The ‘Four Sisters’ I have spent some time recently looking especially into the “four sisters,” as they are called in the industry. These four industrial foundations— Bradley, Olin, Scaife, and Smith Richardson— have played a major and largely unknown role in the war of ideas. The four foundations have worked together to fund a variety of institutions and together created a new Philanthropic Roundtable that monitors the giving of other foundations and encourages cooperation among conservative foundations. Examples of their joint giving in 1993: $3.7 million to the American Enterprise Institute; more than $1 million to Weyrich’s Free Congress Foundation; $995,000 to the Center for the Study of Popular Culture (headed by erstwhile Ramparts editors, David Horowitz and Peter Collier, who spend most of their time attacking public broadcasting and progressive college curricula); the Manhattan Institute Fall 1998 15 A Public Apology Gil Alexander-Moegerle Co-Founder of Focus on the Family I recently heard the Jewish philosopher Dennis Prager say, “Civility requires that responsible members of the various groups that make up a culture have the courage to apologize to the rest of society for bad people within their group.” I have come to issue such an apology for certain actions and attitudes on the part of the Christian right in general and James Dobson and Focus on the Family in particular: First, I apologize to the women of America for the sexist attitudes all-too-often displayed by James Dobson and the organization I helped found. I apologize to African Americans and other ethnic minorities who are concerned by the continuing vestiges of intolerance in the land and by the dangerous role James Dobson, a wealthy, powerful, white, heterosexual male, plays in promoting intolerance. I apologize to lesbian and gay Americans who are demeaned and dehumanized on a regular basis by the false, irresponsible, and inflammatory rhetoric of James Dobson’s anti-gay radio and print materials. I apologize to Jewish Americans as well as Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and atheist Americans who are also victims of the dangerous words and divisive political actions of James Dobson, who claims quite falsely that this is a “Christian nation” that should be “ruled” by fundamentalist Christians and their doctrines. I apologize to the American media, specifically to radio, television, and print reporters, who have been ridiculed and demonized by Dobson and his staff and guests. I am ashamed of my former colleagues for their attacks on you and for their pattern of slamming the doors of reasonable access in your face. And I encourage you to bang those doors down, to investigate, and to report the truth about the threat James Dobson and other religious extremists pose to the American tradition of tolerance, inclusivity, and the separation of church and state. And I apologize to my fellow Christian Americans, many of whom have been misled by a man I once loved and trusted. ...I apologize to any American who has felt the sting of James Dobson and the Christian right wagging their holier-than-thou fingers in your face, shrieking that because your views differ from theirs, you are ungodly, evil, and unworthy of the rights of full citizenship. Please don’t let extremists confuse you about the life and teaching of Jesus. He spoke in love. I regret that Jim [Dobson] and Focus [on the Family] do not. From a statement to the press on August 15, 1997, at the Gay and Lesbian Pride Center of Colorado Springs, Colorado. for Policy Research— Mayor Rudolph Giuliani’s most helpful think tank—got $515,000. The National Association of Scholars, conservative faculty, received $840,000. By now you must be thinking that I’m either bitter— in spite of hard work the most the late lamented (I hate the word defunct) Christianity and Crisis ever got in one year from foundations was $50,000—or a conspiracy theorist. So let me quote from the Wall Street Journal (Oct. 12, 1995), which was concentrating on Richard Mellon Scaife but its comments could be extended to the four foundations: (Scaife) is nothing less than the financial archangel for the (conservative) movement’s intellectual underpinnings…Current GOP proposals to restrict government regulations, set term limits, revamp welfare and limit civil liability awards all have some roots in Scaife-funded groups. Infiltrating the Church As Peter Steinfels put it in the 1982 article quoted above, it took some time for the sponsors of the “war of ideas” to locate their condottieri—hired guns—in the field of religion. But they did. And these four foundations—who unlike foundations such as the Lilly Endowment and the Pew Charitable Trusts had never shown any funding interest in matters religious— began to support agencies created to fight the war of ideas within the mainline churches. One of the first indications of this new development arrived with the publication in 1979 of a tendentious tract called From Amsterdam to Nairobi: The World Council of Churches and the Third World. It accused the WCC, among other things, of arming communist terrorists by its humanitarian gifts to the African National Congress in South Africa and the Southwest Africa Peoples Organization in Namibia. (History has since validated the WCC involvement.) The tract was written by Ernest Lefever, a former staff member at the National Council of Churches who had started the Ethics and Public Policy Center (EPPC) two years earlier. Lefever later ran into trouble in 1981 when President Reagan nominated him to head the State Department’s Human Rights office. He was not confirmed because it turned out that the Nestle corporation, fighting the boycott of its formula, had given considerably more money to Lefever’s center— which it considered an ally— than he had made public. The EPPC adopted a broader agenda under George Weigel. It received $760,390 from the four sisters in 1993. The current president is Elliott Abrams, assistant secretary of state for Latin America affairs during the Reagan administration who was convicted of lying to Congress on the Iran-Contra matter. Two years later a new bolt. A sensational article in Reader’s Digest and two pieces on CBS’s 60 Minutes red-baited the WCC and the NCC. A new organization, with 89 percent of its funding from three of the four sisters, called Institute on Religion and Democracy (IRD) got credit for provoking the attack. The IRD’s creators featured Roman Catholic Michael Novak, then Lutheran now Catholic Richard John Neuhaus, new Methodist David Jessup and his former SDS colleague, Penn Kemble, not a church member. These Washington insiders made Edmund Robb, a United Methodist evangelist from Texas, president. Finding a New Wedge Issue: ‘Radical Feminism’ Until communism disappeared as a wedge issue, the IRD pounded away at the churches for their “leftist” tendencies and created denominational variations within the Presbyterian, Episcopal, and United Methodist denominations. IRD has never really been a mem16 Open Hands bership organization; it has continued to receive most of its funding from the four sisters and a few other foundations, $448,000— 80 percent— in 1994. It continues to follow a strategy of media assaults on the mainline churches. And it appears to have bumped into its new wedge issue, “radical feminism,” with the advent of the Re-Imagining women’s conference in Minneapolis in late 1993. (For a detailed account of the origins of IRD, see my article, “Old Wine, New Bottles: The Institute on Religion and Democracy,” Christianity and Crisis, March 21, 1983, reprinted in Ethics in the Present Tense [Friendship Press, 1991]). A third organization, the Institute on Religion and Public Life (RPL), is headed by Neuhaus, now a Roman Catholic priest and longtime protagonist in the church’s war of ideas. His RPL is based in New York and publishes a neoconservative journal, First Things. In it he engages in lively polemics against more liberal religious expressions. RPL got $690,000 of its $893,500 budget in foundation grants in 1993 from the four sisters. Together with Michael Novak and George Weigel, Neuhaus forms a sort of Catholic triad that engages in a variety of matters, including personal visits to the Christian Coalition annual gathering to urge moderation and cooperation. All three have been on the IRD board for its lifetime. Two other organizations deserve brief mention here. One is Good News, a bi-monthly magazine published out of Asbury College in Kentucky. It criticizes its own United Methodist Church primarily, but will use material generated by IRD. Most of its money appears to come from individual donations. About 65,000 people receive the magazine free-of-charge, a tactic learned from the Presbyterian Lay Committee (PLC), with its primary office just outside Philadelphia. PLC publishes the bi-monthly Presbyterian Layman which goes to an estimated 500,000 readers free. It is noted for its harshly slanted journalism. It is particularly strident on gay and lesbian issues. The PLC was formed in 1965 by several Presbyterian businessmen unhappy with the Confession of 1967 adopted by the then northern branch of the Presbyterian Church. Key among them was J. Howard Pew, for almost 50 years the dominating figure of Sun Oil. Long after his death, the PLC gets an average of $187,500 a year from the J. Howard Pew part of the Pew Charitable Trusts as a “historic family interest.” It received $3.758 million from Pew from 1968- 1984. Note that IRD, Good News, and the Presbyterian Layman were the primary purveyors of a negative reading of the Re-Imagining Conference. Once the story reached the major media months after the conference, the issue had already been framed by these three. Neither Illegal nor Immoral, but Imbalanced This final thought: none of the above support for groups involved in the war of ideas, including within the churches, is illegal or immoral. But IRD, EPPC, and RPL would not exist without the foundation money. And it is important that we know what is at stake. An estimable organization called the Churches Center for Theology and Public Affairs housed at Wesley Theological Seminary struggled in 1994 to fund a budget of $115,000. The Institute on Policy Studies, clearly on the left of the political debate, has a budget of no more than $1.5 million. Compare that with Heritage’s $23 million in 1993 and American Enterprise Institute’s $13 million. Never mind corporations. Foundations on the more moderate or progressive side have never made the commitment to funding liberal think-tanks that the conservatives have. The reasons are several. But until they do, the war of ideas— cockamamie as some of them are— will go to those on the right by default. And unchallenged, the agencies created to roil the churches will continue to exact their toll. Leon Howell was the editor of the “late lamented” Christianity and Crisis, and currently is a free-lance writer based in Washington, D.C. This article is excerpted from a presentation at the National Cathedral, February 20, 1996. A gay Roman Catholic priest speaks out for what he believes— “John McNeill is one of my heroes. He will be remembered as the gay saint in the twentieth century who initiated a Catholic Stonewall while the Church in fear tried to closet him and finally expelled him because he believed that Christianity is fundamentally about kindness and inclusion.” —Rev. Dr. Robert Goss, author of Jesus Acted Up and co-chairman of the Gay Men Studies in Religion Group of the American Academy of Religion At your bookstore, your Cokesbury bookstore or call (800) 227-2872 • www.wjk.org Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair My Spiritual Journey John J. McNeill Paper $18.00 Fall 1998 17 Ecumenical politeness is a hallmark of contemporary Christianity. It is a virtue or a vice, depending on your perspective, that keeps denominational lines intact and boundaries clear. The phrase covers a multitude of sins: for example, when and whether to receive the Eucharist in a church other than one’s own (a quaint theological notion or an oxymoron, again, depending on one’s point of view), whether and how to comment on the inner workings of a denomination other than one’s own. Such matters require a certain theological delicacy, what I think of as the etiquette of theology. Etiquette is clearly socially constructed— customs differ dramatically in regions, cultures, language groups and traditions. Hence, it can and must be deconstructed. Like all etiquette in the late twentieth century, theological manners are changing because the presuppositions on which they were predicated have changed already. Like most manners, ecumenical politeness is taught early, ingrained deeply, and hard to change. It is relied on to keep the theological peace and to keep the Christian community in pieces. A wholesale rethinking is in order as the increasingly globalized, pluralistic religious scene takes shape. Otherwise, ecumenical politeness runs the risk of devolving into irrelevancy. My attention is drawn to this matter when I, a Roman Catholic feminist theologian, watch from the sidelines as my Protestant sisters and brothers engage in exercises that remind me of the Coliseum. Ecumenical politeness, not to mention time and energy, constrain me from writing to church officials, attending denominational meetings and otherwise joining the fray. Progressive and conservative forces in the Presbyterian and United Methodist churches, for example, do battle (the bellicose image is unfortunate but warranted) over the ordination of out and proud homosexuals, an issue dear to my heart. Yet I reserve my theological opinions, though they are obvious and well known in some circles, because somehow I reason the struggle is for “them,” not for me. Entering into someone else’s matters is simply not done, at least not by people with my upbringing, or so I have thought. However, I am reconsidering my previous assumptions and invite others to do the same. A concrete case prompted this reconsideration, a case so obviously egregious that it reminded me of my own repressive denomination. A Case in Point: The Termination of Eunice Poethig The Rev. Dr. Eunice B. Poethig served as the first director of the newly created Congregational Ministries Division (CMD) of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). In the fall of 1997, toward the end of her first term, the CMD Committee voted not to renew her contract based on the recommendation of the General Assembly Council’s End-of- Term Review Committee. Personnel decisions are made every day in churches, but this one caught my eye because the Rev. Poethig is more than a Presbyterian official, indeed she has been an active participant in ecumenical, academic and social change circles. Despite the fact that the last Presbyterian in my family was my maternal grandfather, “Be Opened” Mary Callaway Logan Jesus’ command to open the ears of the one who could not hear applies equally to the church, which turns a deaf ear to the radical claim of the gospel to “Be Open.” 18 Open Hands Archibald L. Campbell, I realized that she had not only been dismissed from her parochial post. Rather, she had been effectively removed as a church official with portfolio from a much larger arena, that of feminist Christian women, in which her presence spoke loudly the support of at least some officials of at least one mainline church. Eunice Poethig, like so many dedicated, competent, savvy women who work as church bureaucrats, was able to straddle the wide divides between and among church members and still get the job done. So many such women labor quietly to “do it all”— fulfill the heavy demands of their jobs, thread their way through the minefields of denominational politics, and still find ways to support the fledgling efforts of progressive women to make change. My experience is that such women do not agree with all that progressive groups would urge, an irony when they pay high prices for their support, but that they are supportive in principle because they know that it is such efforts “out there” that help to make change within structures. Of course this was the problem— Rev. Poethig attended, and I daresay probably enjoyed, the first Re-imagining Conference in 1993. It was, after all— as history will record against the shrill shrieks of its opponents— a quite respectable, serious conference. Having a Ph.D. in Old Testament from Union Theological Seminary, she participates in the annual American Academy of Religion/Society for Biblical Literature meeting. She has been clear about her personal position in favor of lesbian/ gay/bisexual and transgendered people as full members of church and society. She is a supporter of the rights of women to minister in all Christian denominations. In essence, Eunice Poethig embodies all that conservatives worry about in church circles, and she does so with a style and grace that make her, like most powerful and sensitive women, unmanageable. That she got a new Division off the ground, that she is a well qualified church bureaucrat with eight years of experience as the Executive Presbyter of the Presbytery of Western New York, all seem to amount to little in an environment in which ideology is all. So much for common courtesy, not to mention justice. Ecumenical politeness of old would dictate that I send an appropriate note to Eunice bemoaning her fate and wishing her luck. But I think that the ecumenical linkages that bond us permit more now, indeed require more. First, the intricacies of individual church workings need to be mastered by those beyond its limits. While I can tick off the Catholic cardinals and the cardinal sins with ease, I am only now coming to an appreciation of the intricacies of the General Assembly Council (GAC) and CMD, the ways in which Presbyterians conduct their business and the fact that they, like Rome, err on occasion. This time the procedures were violated, certainly in spirit if not in letter. The GAC Manual of Operations calls for a two to three hour discussion of the matters at hand. Ms. Poethig reports that her twenty-minute interview began with the announcement that the Endof- Term Committee would not recommend a second term. It is not clear that three hours of dialogue would have changed anyone’s mind, but it is important to note that when such violations of due process occur one can suspect that other violations lurk. Most major corporations do better by their long-term employees than that. They are under legal constraints to follow contractual obligations. It is also simply common sense, read: manners. Second, in such cases of injustice the response must be broader than the individual group affected. Justice for Women, a Presbyterian group that launched a petition drive on Eunice Poethig’s behalf, found that its efforts backfired. On appeal, Rev. Poethig’s request for reinstatement was denied, and her option to have her term extended for several months was revoked, thus making her termination effective immediately. Here the church takes its dubious cue from the business world in which conventional wisdom has it that one gets a fired employee out of the office as quickly as possible so as to minimize disruption. In this instance, the petitions were disruptive so out she had to go. There was seemingly no effort to conceal the stunning backlash, a chilling reality for those still working in the denomination. For those outside the Presbyterian Church, to steer clear of the whole matter for the sake of ecumenical turf is to be complicit in it. A larger interdenominational response would not necessarily have changed the decision. However, it would have put Presbyterian Church officials on notice that such behaviors reflect badly on them, perhaps a concern in an era when membership numbers are wavering. Then again, perhaps not. But at least the ecumenical chorus would have sung in full voice that justice within our ranks is as important as the justice we call for outside, and without it our credibility is nil. Third, in the present theo-political climate it is hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. I do not have inside information from either side in this dispute so as to evaluate the merits of the decision on the basis of the competency of the person involved. But I would argue that, unless and until there is some new consensus on what constitutes a credible job, ideological considerations notwithstanding, this firing will simply be one in a long line. Indeed the Presbyterian line is growing. The Rev. Mary Anne Lundy was removed from her position on the heels of her leadership in the Re-Imagining movement. Where will it end? Working Together Amid Differences Universities have been through this for decades, with academic freedom now a respected if sometimes shaky given. Many campuses have suf- Why have we found it necessary to set up every discussion in binary terms, every panel in a pre-constructed, bean-counted fashion, every debate in a win-lose format? What about looking for the strengths in all arguments, paying special attention to those with which we disagree to ferret out their merits? Fall 1998 19 fered through the agonies of tenure battles, first on the left, then on the right. Happily, they often discover that there is usually a way to live with colleagues with whom one disagrees. We need to develop an ecclesiastical equivalent in these troubled times. It is not simply for the sake of assuring that progressive voices will be heard. It is also against a time when the shoe will be on the other foot and the same justice requirement will apply to conservatives. Intellectual opinions are held with no less fervor than faith, but somehow people manage, albeit not without struggles, to develop ways to live and work together across wide differences, recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of each other as persons and as thinkers. The alternative, of course, is the development of narrow, intellectually closed schools that produce equally narrow, closed students. The religious equivalent of this in any denomination is a nightmare. Deborah Tannen’s book, The Argument Culture, might help here. She queries why we have found it necessary to set up every discussion in binary terms, every panel in a pre-constructed, beancounted fashion, every debate in a winlose format. What about looking for the strengths in all arguments, paying special attention to those with which we disagree to ferret out their merits? I suggest some elements of this sort of thinking could help us in church circles to ease up a bit on the ideology and realize that we are all in this work because we share some similar goals that grow out of root values. After all, matters of faith are even less certain than matters of science, so surely we could all lighten up some. I do not mean to sell out key issues on which good people disagree. Taking a page from Tannen, I suggest we give more careful attention to the way in which arguments are constructed so as to see merit even where we disagree. For example, I can appreciate the arguments of anti-choice/prolife Catholics even though I come down on the other side of the issue. Respecting their rigor and commitment in no way allies me with their point of view. But it does humanize the process and relativizes my claims. How refreshing to think we might all do it! Finally, the puzzling problem of politeness is that it is designed to even the playing field, to put people ahead of ideas, what Professor Krister Stendahl claimed Paul taught, the triumph of love even over integrity. There is a slash and burn mentality in the air on controversial matters— claims to have rooted out the troublesome people with x number gone and so many left to be expelled. It is a language set that has no place, in my judgment, in communities that claim their origin, authority and inspiration in what Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza has called a “discipleship of equals.” Such a community, like the Jesus movement that inspired it, requires more. Ecumenical politeness remains a useful convention. But as our interdenominational bonds grow, so too do our responsibilities, individual and collective, to shift boundaries and behaviors. It is always dicey to offer an opinion from outside of a community of faith. But this is a dimension of ecumenism that has seldom been addressed, namely, just how we can be supportive without being disrespectful. I hope Protestant feminists will not hesitate to address Catholic injustices, though clearly they cannot do so with the same vigor and insider information that I employ. If we cannot do this in our own small ponds here at home, I shudder to think of the ecumenical faux pas ahead in a globalized church. Mary E. Hunt is Co-director of WATER, the Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual (see ad, this page). She writes regularly for WATERwheel, a quarterly publication. This previously unpublished article is concurrently being published in the Network News of the Witherspoon Society. 20 Open Hands Satyagraha: Truth-force or soul-force (sat, truth; agraha, firmness); non-violent direct action; passive resistance; civil disobedience; non-violent non-cooperation. “That they all may be One; as Thou art in me, and I in Thee, that they also may be One in us: that the world may believe that Thou has sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are One.” John 17:21-22, KJV During the summer, fundamentalist Christian organizations escalated their attacks on lesbian and gay Americans, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on ads in major newspapers to convince the nation that we are “sick” and “sinful,” that we can and should be “cured,” that our rights and protections should be denied. At the same time, mainstream denominations seemed to echo the fundamentalist call for jihad against God’s gay and lesbian children. The July decision by the United Methodist Judicial Council giving legal, coercive force to the Social Principle prohibiting “homosexual unions” means, in the words of Jimmy Creech, “…the Church of John Wesley, founded upon principles of social justice and piety, will now be prosecuting pastors for praying God’s blessings upon same-sex couples who make covenants of love and fidelity.” And in August, more than 500 Anglican bishops meeting at the Lambeth world conference voted to condemn homosexual practice as “incompatible with Scripture,” prohibiting the “legitimizing or blessing” of same-sex unions and the “ordination of those involved in such unions.” We are tempted to answer these misinforming voices with equally colorful soundbites of our own; however, rushing to do battle with angry words and clenched fists will not help our cause, let alone bring One-ness to the Body of Christ. Doubting the integrity or debating the motives of our adversaries is another dead end. We must not react, but we must respond. The anti-homosexual rhetoric divides and bloodies “The Bread of Eternal Life” Mary Callaway Logan Because evil serpentinely insinuated itself into God’s Garden, Adam and Eve were prevented from eating of the Tree of Life. But now, in Jesus, we are offered the bread “that endures for eternal life” (Jn 6:27). We are given an eternal perspective that makes the evil of the cross (a tree of death) finite and the good of resurrecting love infinite. Fall 1998 21 Third, when untruth threatens, we respond with truth in love. A Christian version of Soulforce finds its basis in Jesus’ words: “Love your enemies.” Gandhi defines that love as refusing violent actions, violent words, even violent thoughts against our adversaries. King said love must control fist, tongue, and heart. To win the minds and hearts of the nation, and to bring hope and healing to Christ’s body, our g/l/b/t community must take the moral high ground. We must learn to out-love those who caricature and condemn us. We should consider giving up our angry chants and nasty gestures, our mean-spirited banners and inflammatory T-shirts, our belligerent marches and fiery speeches. These are acts of violence and meeting untruth with violence only escalates the war. I know the men and women behind this new war against us—Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Gary Bauer, D. James Kennedy, Beverly LaHaye. Whatever their motives, they truly believe that we are sick, sinful, and a threat to the nation, that we can and should be “cured.” They have not taken seriously the scientific, historical, and biblical research that demonstrates clearly that God Thoughts on the L/G/B/T Religious Movement Mark Bowman In physics we learn that every action produces what? An equal and opposite reaction. When you try to drive a car forward or change the direction of a moving car, what creates resistance? Inertia. When a plane tries to take off, what force resists? Gravity. Are inertia and gravity unusual phenomena? No, they are natural phenomena. In social change, where do you find resistance to change? In religious institutions. In the conflict over homosexuality, where is the most resistance? The so-called religious right. Is the religious right an unusual phenomenon? No, it’s the natural resistance to change. As the car tries to move faster, what is the effect of inertia? It appears stronger. As the plane tries to fly higher, what is the effect of gravity? It appears stronger. Now, if you are trying to make the car go faster, what do you do? Attack inertia? No, you give the care more forward power. If you’re trying to make the plane fly higher, do you attack gravity? No, you give the plane more lift power. What we should be doing now is increasing power and lift—cultivating allies, creating networks, and building a movement that will overcome the church’s resistance to change. We must engage in positive, forward-looking movment, inviting folks to join us on the plane that is soaring up. Mark Bowman is the publisher of Open Hands and director of the Reconciling Congregation Program within the United Methodist Church. This is excerpted from a presentation to the Religious Leaders Roundtable of the national l/g/b/t movement on July 23, 1998, in Washington, D.C. Christ’s body and leads to intolerance, suffering, and death for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered Americans. It must be confronted and the Soulforce principles of relentless nonviolent resistance as taught by Jesus, Gandhi and King show us how. First, we must see our adversaries as children of the same loving God who created us, our brothers and sisters in Christ, members of our own family. Neither Pat Robertson and his fundamentalist colleagues nor the Anglican bishops meeting in Canterbury are evil. They are victims of misinformation (as we have been). Our goal is not to triumph over them but to be reconciled with them. Ending segregation was not Martin Luther King’s primary goal. His goal was to help bring in the “beloved community” where he and the late Governor George Wallace could live as neighbors. Our goal is not to overwhelm, censor, coerce or even be victorious over our adversaries. Our goal is to be reconciled with them. No one wins until we are One again. Second, when untruth threatens, we respond with truth. There is a positive side to this new round of anti-homosexual propaganda. One of my non-religious, heterosexual friends was enraged by the summer’s avalanche of blatant untruth. “How can they say these things?” he asked. In fact, they’ve been saying these things for years but saying them virtually in secret on their TV and radio programs, in their direct mail campaigns and fundraising appeals. Now, the untruth is out there where our friends and neighbors can read it for themselves, and though the untruth confuses many it will also win allies to our cause. We have one task only: respond to the untruth with truth. Before we respond to the antihomosexual propaganda, we must hear it carefully. Find the statements that are clearly untrue, and answer them with truth. And where they speak the truth, even if painful, we must acknowledge it. Inadvertently, they have invited us to “a new national discussion of homosexuality.” Let’s accept! 22 Open Hands created us and loves us exactly as we are. It is our job to help them discover this new truth. Just decades ago, many of our current adversaries were misusing the Bible to support segregation. The folks behind these anti-homosexual ads are as ignorant about homosexuals as Governor Wallace and Sheriff “Bull” Conner were ignorant about African-Americans. King didn’t yell back at his enemies. He didn’t call them bigots or liars. He didn’t waste time hating them or plotting their destruction. Dr. King demonstrated the truth about African-Americans by his loving response to the untruth. We must demonstrate the truth about homosexuals by the way we respond to the war of words being waged against us. We must not hate or fear those who misunderstand us. We must lovingly liberate them from the untruth that holds them hostage. Fourth, when untruth threatens, we respond with truth in love relentlessly. We will not confront the untruth effectively until we have responded with relentless determination. For too long it’s been a war of words. They launch their missives. We counterstrike. They take out ads. We respond with ads of our own or we hold a rally, a demonstration, a benefit, or a one-day march—then thinking we have advanced the cause, we all go out to party. Soulforce calls us to a far more difficult and demanding task. First, we make a list of their dangerous and deadly untruths. Second, we do our homework, preparing our answers to each untruth with carefully researched truth. Third, we accept their offer of “a new national discussion of homosexuality” and ask them to join us at the table in a mutual search for truth. Fourth, if they refuse to join us at the table; or if, when there, they refuse to negotiate seriously an end to their anti-homosexual campaign, we take direct nonviolent actions that will convince them (and the nation) of our sincerity and compel them to join us at the table. Look at the fifteen organizations listed at the bottom of the summer’s anti-homosexual ads. These are the nation’s primary sources of misinformation, not just about homofolk but about other minorities, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the separation of church and state. In the name of “saving it,” our Christian brothers and sisters have become not just opponents of God’s lesbian and gay children, but opponents of the nation, a very real threat to democracy. We must surround these Christian organizations with truth in love relentlessly, not just for our sake but for the future of the country. One day protests will not do it. Ad campaigns will fail. No one cares if our one-day march is bigger than their march. In South Africa and India, Gandhi led his people in relentless direct actions to demonstrate their sincerity and to win friends to their cause. Refusing to give up until their truth prevailed, King’s “children” faced water hoses, police dogs, beatings, jail terms, and lynchings. Our time has come. We are second class citizens in our own country. Our freedom is at stake. Our lives are on the line. The nation is in peril. It is time for a new strategy of relentless nonviolent resistance. The Way of Non-Violence Gandhi and King both began their civil rights campaigns by training their allies in nonviolence. Marchers signed vows that carefully proscribed behavior or they weren’t allowed to march. Direct actions, once begun, were not ended until the goal was accomplished even if it meant imprisonment, suffering and death. We must re-discover and apply their Soulforce rules. I don’t know what will happen to us and to our allies when we take nonviolence seriously. Gandhi says “Just take the first step and the rest will follow.” It is time to try. Thinking ourselves safe in our closets, we are sleeping through a revolution. The Soulforce guidelines are clear. Truth cannot prevail until those who hold that truth are willing to live and die for it. The Body of Christ will be One again when we learn to outlove our enemies whatever the cost. Mel White, pictured with his partner in life and in ministry, Gary Nixon (l.), is the author of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America, describing his experience working with and writing for the most conservative Christian leaders in the U.S. while struggling with his homosexuality. He is last year’s recipient of the national ACLU’s Civil Liberties Award for his application of Soulforce principles to our struggle, and is Justice Minister of the UFMCC. He may be contacted at P.O.Box 4467, Laguna Beach, CA 92652 or via e-mail at RevMel@aol.com or visit his website: www.soulforce.org Fall 1998 23 How do we navigate in the world when our familiar methods of finding our way dissolve? Every August from the time I was seven until I was twelve, my stepfather piled our family into his old Chrysler and drove us from Ft. Riley, Kansas, to his family home in Amory, Mississippi, to pick cotton. I have to confess that my cousins and I picked little cotton, but we had a great time raiding the watermelon patch and avoiding work. We stayed in my Aunt Pearl and Uncle Opal’s farmhouse, which had no indoor plumbing. On my first visit, I did not know about the chamber pot under the beds, so, one night, when I had to relieve myself, I headed for the outhouse in the field out back. It was a moonless night, and in that opaque darkness, even little squirrels sounded like giant bears. How do we navigate in the world when our familiar methods of finding our way dissolve? We often set faith at odds with the night, as if faith always illuminated life like the sun and gave us clear choices: good or evil, us or them. We need our faith most, however, when old ways of knowing fail us—when we face confusing and anguishing choices. In these moments we need faith that sustains us through our human limits, through the edges of our knowing and understanding— where our fears lurk. Such sustaining faith is like a sliver of moonlight, just enough glow to help us keep going, even when we are uncertain about our footing. The Christian tradition has tragic moments when our obsession with cer- “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” But Jesus said, “Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. Whoever is not against us is for us.” Mark 9:38-40 tainty of faith inflicted great harm and destroyed many lives. The obsession with certainty leads to the oversimplification of people’s lives and the lean toward self-righteousness. Linda Petrocelli, who directs the global sharing of resources for the United Church of Christ, once told a story of an experience in Catholic grammar school. Sister Mary Robert Cecelia gave a lesson on the importance of Catholic faith by concluding that everyone, EVERYONE, even Lutherans and Episcopalians, were going to hell because they were NOT Catholic. When she got home from school that evening, Linda’s mom asked her, “Linda, what are you grateful for today?” a question she often asked her. Linda replied, “I am grateful that Sister Mary Robert Cecilia is not God.” Reducing the world to clear polarized choices is born of the need to control; it is not born of love. Faith in God’s grace is not a guarantee of certainty; it is a promise that whatever we face, God is with us—no matter how terrifying the night. And sometimes, the night full of terrors can be exceedingly long. We need each other, even as we stumble together in the night. We cannot avoid forever going out into the night if we live in this world, but Jesus reminds us that the stranger, all those who speak the truth, can expel our demons of denial, self-righteousness, and control. Venturing into the night teaches us the limits of our control. Courage to venture out leads us to divine mystery, and we learn to trust that power which transcends our limits. In that mystery, we find a sliver of moonlight lighting our way. For as we find the courage to go out into the night, we journey in the confidence that our salvation is promised by God and sealed in the life of Jesus Christ, who said to us that anyone who is not against us is for us, even those we do not know or understand. The church has too often depended on certainty to decide who is in our community and who is out. We have been preoccupied with who is authorized to act in the name of Christ and who is not, rather than on the quality of works we ourselves do in Christ’s name. We cannot purge violence and hate by counting police arrests and convictions, and building more prisons. We cannot take care of families by figuring out how much we can cut from our social welfare policies, rather than by asking what mothers and children need to thrive in our society. The survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence who have faced their own long nights are unauthorized exorcists forcing us to face demons that possess our families. We cannot under24 Open Hands stand loving faithfully by lauding heterosexual marriage and condemning homosexual relationships, instead of asking what we might learn from seeing how love is made manifest in any relationship. We need to know how life is enhanced, pain and suffering healed, creativity encouraged, promises kept, and each person able to flourish. Under the lens of those criteria, many marriages would fail and many samesex relationships would stand as examples to us all. Gay and lesbian Christians are the unauthorized exorcists who have revealed how broken our tradition has been about sexuality. We must purge the demons of shame, guilt, control, and abuse from our sexuality by making space for all to speak honestly about how we love and fail to love. The promise of our faith is that, somehow, as we stumble along together, God is with us, like the moonlight. For to work in Christ’s name is, finally, to trust the moon to rise in the night. We will never know certainty, but the moonlight is more than enough. The moonlight reveals to us the unexpected, what we ordinarily cannot see. The moonlight supports our courage to make new discoveries; and with new discoveries come joy, generosity, and great curiosity. When we find the mystery and joy in the night, we have found the full moon, the light that shows us the unauthorized exorcists and the open spaces where still new discoveries await us. Let us be on our adventurous, perilous, and life-giving journey in the night. Let us walk in the moonlight together. Rita Nakashima Brock is Director of the Bunting Institute at Radcliffe College in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She is a feminist theologian (and served as a leader at the first Re-Imagining Conference) and member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). This article was excerpted from a sermon delivered October 23, 1995, during the Disciples’ General Assembly in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. “Exiled in the House of Love” “As so many of my collages come together with unexpected images, this spinning figure is whirling between light and darkness, between the inside and the outside of the house of love—simply between. This is God’s Beloved, as we all are, yet a feeling of exile may interfere with the experience of God’s love.” Mary Callaway Logan Fall 1998 MINISTRIES 25 In Memory of Matthew Shepard (1976-1998) The Need to Pray Always and Not Lose Heart Chris Glaser “Then Jesus told them a parable about their need to pray always and not to lose heart” Luke 18:1. If ever we needed a parable to keep us from losing heart, it is now. We were confronted with a modern crucifixion this fall. A twenty-one-year-old gay University of Wyoming student was severely beaten as he begged for his life and hung on a post, exposed to the nearly freezing elements for eighteen hours before discovered by passersby. This is what they do to unwanted coyotes in Wyoming, kill one and put it on a post as a warning to other coyotes that they are not welcome. This is what the Romans did to activists of Jesus’ day, hung them on crosses where they died of exposure along the road to warn passersby that those who would change the status quo were not welcome. This is what the ancient Hebrews used to do to a goat, projecting their sins onto the goat and excommunicating it into the wilderness to die from exposure to the elements. We feel helpless hearing of Matthew Shepard’s suffering. With the vulnerable but relentless widow seeking justice at the hands of an arrogant judge in the parable that Jesus told about our need to pray always and not to lose heart (Lk 18:18- 8), we cry to God and to anyone who will listen, “Grant us justice against our opponents.” University and state officials in Wyoming kept describing Michael’s death as “an isolated incident.” But the feeling I had in my gut as if someone’s fist had hit it with full force told me this gay-bashing was not an isolated incident. The whole message of spirituality is that there are no isolated incidents. Everything that happens is part of a fabric, and this incident is part of a shroud of prejudice that would bury us all. This summer we saw ads from the religious right that would portray their Nazi-like movement to extinguish homosexuality as if it were a healing rather than a killing ministry, and even dare to claim themselves as victims of those who would deny them their rights to administer hate in the form of repressive legislation. The religious right has resurrected a term used in Nazi Germany against those who would taint the German race, “culture wars.” The religious right has launched what they call a culture war against gay people, against women who make their own reproductive choices, against those who believe in the separation of church and state. Disguising themselves as victims, they are the wolves in sheep’s clothing that Jesus warned about in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves” (Matthew 7:15). These ravenous wolves arrayed against us are not healthy people. They are gaybashers trying to prove their holiness at the expense of others, namely us. Their weapons are not clubs nor guns, but the Bible and church polities. “God, grant us justice against our opponents.” But it’s too easy to point to the extremists who want to do us in, such as the religious right and sick personalities. Just as there are no isolated incidents, there are no isolated extremists. No gay-basher— whether on the street or in a pulpit or in office— would be able to do their violent deeds were it not for the support of the mainstream. Virtually every gay-basher cites religious reasons for their behavior, whether it is to take away our lives, our livelihoods in the church, our loving marriages, or our rights to live under protection of law. In polls, most Americans say they support gay civil rights. At the same time, most Americans say they believe homosexuality is a sin. Thus the church plays the culprit behind both the votes of legislators and electorates and the violence of gay-bashers. As Matthew Shepard grew up and became aware of his sexual identity, our churches repeatedly sent the message to him that he was unacceptable to God in their various pronouncements against homosexuality. More fatally, they sent the same hostile message to his assailants. “O God,” we pray, “Grant us justice against our opponents.” Much of what I have done in my own ministry has been for the sake of young people like Matthew Shepard. I never wanted to see another young gay person go through what I had to as a child and adolescent, lonely and afraid, questioning my worth and my belovedness in the sight of God and family and the family of faith. The welcoming congregations movement has shared the same burden. What we have done, we have done for the sake of our posterity, our unknown lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered children. I remember one young man brought into my office by his foster father when I was Director of the Lazarus Project of West Hollywood Presbyterian Church. First I met with the father, then I met with his teenage son. Years later, when I was on a panel at the Los Angeles Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center, a young man in his twenties came up to me and said, “You probably don’t remember me, but my Dad brought me in to see you when I first became aware that I was gay. You have no idea what that meeting meant to me. You were the first gay person I ever met, and you became a role model for me.” He made my day. Three weeks before Shepard’s brutal death, after I preached at MCC L.A., a man came up and began, “You probably don’t remember me, but many years ago I brought my foster son in to meet you when you were still at West Hollywood Presbyterian Church.” I told him of running into his son at the Center and how glad I had been to hear from him again. A little apprehensive because of AIDS, I asked after the son. “Oh, he’s doing fine,” the father said, “He lives in Mexico now. You made a difference. You kept him from going the route of his brother who got onto the street and into drugs.” This story serves as a parable about our need to pray always and not to lose heart. WE have made a difference. Open Hands and the welcoming congregations movement have made a difference. If there are no “isolated incidents” when it comes to tragedies such as a young gay man’s death this fall, there are no “isolated incidents” when it comes to resurrections such as this foster son’s life as a result of our ministry. At times you may feel isolated, Outreach 26 MINISTRIES Open Hands but you are a thread in the fabric of a rainbow flag that will liberate us all. Together we serve the church and the l/g/b/t community as a living parable about our need to pray always and not to lose heart. Chris Glaser served as the founding director of the Lazarus Project, a ministry of reconciliation between the church and the l/g/b/t community. This is excerpted and adapted from a sermon delivered to West Hollywood Presbyterian Church in California, Oct.18, 1998, in celebration of more than 20 years of ministry of the Lazarus Project. Discerning the Nearness of God Lectio Divina and AlDS Patricia Hoffman “There was always this big chasm between God and everyone else,” Art said, reflecting on his past experiences in the church. “The message was, ‘You’re broken and God isn’t.’ In Spiritual Questing I’ve discovered our unity in God that transcends whether we’re broken or not. In this group the focus is off of the brokenness and on the wholeness. We’re on a path toward wholeness.” It was deeply gratifying to me as the chaplain at AIDS Care to hear Art’s observation after three years of participation in Spiritual Questing groups. From the first group, which was eight gay men, I could see that alienation was a major issue— alienation from self, God, and others. During our weekly meetings some expressed difficulty accepting their own feelings as good and trustworthy. Others struggled with images of a distant and judgmental God. Most, if not all, have told painful stories of familial and social abuse. The idea for the Spiritual Questing group began to hatch seven years ago. I had just moved from Los Angeles up the coast to the quiet city of Ventura. That summer my husband and I spent a week on retreat in the desert at St. Andrew’s, a Benedictine Abbey, where we were introduced to a group lectio divina process. At the end of the week, as we drove out of the Abbey grounds, I said, lectio divina could be a wonderful gift in the gay community. I thought of myself offering it, but could not imagine a setting. I was a lay woman who had worked in ecumenical social change ministries. Leading spiritual support groups had not been part of my life history. But a year of volunteering for AIDS Project Los Angeles as a hospital visitor had opened me to new possibilities. A year after that retreat at St. Andrew’s, I was in my first extended unit of Clinical Pastoral Education, training to be a Chaplain in AIDS ministry. In the group practice of lectio divina, participants hear a brief passage from Scripture or some other reflective reading and notice a word or phrase that attracts them. They stay with that word or phrase, repeating it silently. Each person is invited to share their word or phrase. The passage is read again and participants are invited to notice how the word or phrase touches them. After three minutes of silence, people in the circle are invited to share how the passage as a whole touches them. There is a third reading in which they are asked to be open to an invitation that may come to them. Following the silence, participants are invited to share what came to them. The session concludes with each person praying— silently or aloud— for the person next to them, with special reference to what that person shared. Lectio divina delivers back to a wounded community the authority to hear God’s word to them. The spoken word from written scripture that meets a person’s heart becomes the voice of the Sacred brought near. As it says in Deuteronomy 30:14, “The word is very near to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart for you to observe.” More than ninety percent of the men and women who have been part of Spiritual Questing during the past three years have been unrelated to a religious community, though raised in ones as varied as Roman Catholic to Southern Baptist to Reform Judaism. Spiritual Questing has, as one man told me, “Given me permission to be spiritual.” He and all the others who have come are people of spirit. Always were. Spiritual Questing offers people who have been wounded in so many ways a welcoming setting that suggests, this spiritual questing is for you. It is your right. It is your inheritance if you wish to take it. Luke has an account of Jesus and a woman who had hemorrhaged for 12 years. She was considered unclean because of the bleeding. When Jesus stopped in the midst of the crowd to ask who had touched his garment, she had bravely said that it was her. He then addressed her as “daughter of Abraham.” Calling her a daughter of Abraham delivered the woman back to her status as a member of the community. What have I wanted as week after week I showed up to form the chairs in a circle, set out the candles, and find yet another good lectio passage? I have wanted to deliver men and women in the AIDS-affected community back to their status as sons and daughters of Abraham. Patricia Hoffman serves as Chaplain with AIDS Care in Ventura County. She wrote AIDS and the Sleeping Church: A Journal, published by Eerdmans in 1995. She also wrote AIDS Ministry: A Practical Guide for Pastors, for the United Methodist Board of Global Ministries. She offers consultations and trainings in Spiritual Questing groups and retreats for inclusivity. She can be reached at 805/643-0446, or by e-mail at choffman@compuserve.com Chaplain Pat Hoffman (second from left) leads Spiritual Questing group at AIDS Care in Ventura, California. Health Fall 1998 MINISTRIES 27 From “Jeffrey” to “Angels” Education for Gay/Lesbian Advocacy in a Theological Seminary J. Cy Rowell Immediately before the start of my 1998 spring semester religious education seminar on human sexuality, Paul Rudnick’s “Jeffrey” was produced by a local theater. After the seminar had concluded another theater produced Tony Kushner’s “Angels in America-Part I.” Those two plays served as the unintended but useful contextual brackets for the seminar. This was the third time since 1993 that this course had been offered, and the first one coinciding with relevant stage productions. Six of the ten general sessions focused on issues in basic human sexuality: creation theology, issues in feminism and the men’s movement, sexuality education for churches, etc. Four of the sessions were devoted to gay/lesbian issues. My challenge here was to be an advocate for gay and lesbian persons in the midst of the so-called “objective” nature of higher education. The solution was to be open in the course syllabus about my goals, one of which was that “all of us will have opportunity to deal with our understandings of and feelings about gay and lesbian persons.” I added: “How and to what purposes a minister gives leadership to her/his congregation with regard to understanding and accepting gay/lesbian persons will be as much, if not more, a function of one’s feelings and commitments than it will be a function of one’s theology and intellectual understandings.” Another approach to the advocacy focus was to ask students to sign a learning covenant in which we promised to be open with one another and to treat each other with respect. The “Jeffrey” play, seen by half the students at the theater or in video at my urging before the start of the course, raised their awareness of their own feelings. “I felt uncomfortable seeing a man in his underwear,” a young man noted with some surprise, while at the same time commenting that slick ads of women in lingerie were commonly accepted. And the long kiss between two men at the end of the play made many students uncomfortable. One issue in doing education for advocacy is the risk implicit in the “advocate” presuming she/he can speak for “others.” The key is to have those “other” voices actually present in the class. Throughout the semester, the one openly gay student in the class helped us to be honest and to hear a different voice. The highlight for all the students was the session in which we heard the life stories of three invited guests: a gay artistic director (whose has a liberal minister father) of a live theater, a gay caterer who has been in a partnership for twelve years, and the lesbian founder of a gay/lesbian employee support group of a large corporation, who brought along her young adult son and the current gay president of the support group. Their responses to two questions—“What is your life story?” and “What role, if any, did church/religion play in that story?”— provided untold insights for the seminary students. Toward the end of the course students planned and led presentations on topics related to either human sexuality in general or particular homosexual themes. Of the ten presentations, six examined gay issues, including the coming out process, when parents come out, holy union rituals, ordination, and congregational educational programs. In addition there were two presentations on AIDS, one on sexuality for the single person, and one on sexuality education in the church. The seminar’s final session began with an ordained gay minister telling his story, describing the gifts and graces of being a gay minister, and making suggestions for straight ministers about their ministry to gays and lesbians. The concluding worship included a litany of thanks to God for “our new friends, those gay and lesbian persons who have shared their lives with us.” It ended with “We thank you and commit ourselves to being your witnesses of love and mercy in this world.” Though the semester had ended officially, most of the students voluntarily attended the stage production of “Angels in America” as a way to wrap up the course. Their response to “Angels” (as to “Jeffrey”) was positive, though there was general consensus that before the seminar they most likely would not have gone to “Angels” (or “Jeffrey”), but now that they had been through the course, they were ready to “hear” the play and in fact, were able to critique it with appreciation. What happened to these students? The one openly gay man found more acceptance and support in this course than at any time in his seminary experience. The other students found their boundaries being pushed open. They all dealt in some way with their own sexuality and its impact on their perceptions of gay and lesbian persons. Some were moved to a public commitment to affirming gay/lesbian persons. My conclusion? The theological seminary is an appropriate context for exploring issues in gay/lesbian understanding and fostering advocacy for gay and lesbian persons. J. Cy Rowell is professor of Religious Education at Brite Divinity School, Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, Texas Campus Connections Homosexuality, European Churches, the Ecumenical Movement, and the WCC Meeting in Harare Robert C. Lodwick In Europe, disparity characterizes the way various churches view homosexuality. Protestant churches range from full acceptance (e.g. Remonstrant Brotherhood, Netherlands) to rejection (e.g. Greek Evangelical Church). The majority of 28 MINISTRIES Open Hands churches, however, are in the discussion stage, particularly where there is an active gay Christian group pressing the issue. The (Anglican) Church of England faces sharp controversy, whereas the (Lutheran) Church of Sweden is positive. In many European countries, a civil marriage ceremony is required and a religious blessing is optional. In a number of churches individual pastors are blessing Holy Unions. Eastern and Oriental Orthodox churches deny the issue, even opposing legislation for the civil rights of homosexuals and viewing the issue as part of the “western Protestant agenda.” Roman Catholic congregations follow the Vatican position, although some individual priests and parishes are reaching out to the gay and lesbian community as in the United States. Bisexuality and transgender issues are not part of the current discussion in most churches in Europe. In Geneva, Switzerland, I was part of C+H (Christian + Homosexual), an ecumenical group that meets monthly. Homosexual or homophile is the preferred word rather than gay. C+H has published a statement dealing with homosexuality from biblical, social, and church perspectives, and is now preparing a contemporary Confession of Faith for the group. Geneva is home to many ecumenical bodies, such as the World Council of Churches, Lutheran World Federation, and the World Alliance of Reformed Churches. At present, the World Council of Churches (WCC) is struggling with the issue of homosexuality at its 8th Assembly in Harare, Zimbabwe in December. In his public declarations, Zimbabwe President Mugabe is exceedingly homophobic, and local gays and lesbians have been hounded and harassed. The two largest Dutch Protestant churches have launched a campaign to support the rights of Zimbabwe homosexuals, while three smaller Dutch denominations have expressed solidarity with Zimbabwe gays and lesbians through a letter-writing campaign. President Mugabe’s statements have prompted two Dutch Churches not to take part in the WCC Assembly. Some USA member churches have also questioned holding the Assembly in Zimbabwe. In the Assembly program, there will be a Padare, a market place of ideas, where groups can share their stories, activities, and concerns, such as environmental issues, debt repayment, racial justice, women’s role in church and society, and other vital issues. Gay and lesbian groups have been accepted for the Padare. The UFMCC plans to offer a seminar telling its story and describing its remarkable ministry. Several member churches will staff a bookstand with publications about human rights and homosexuality. Unfortunately, many Zimbabwean Christians see this as an affront to their cultural sensitivities. Orthodox Churches are equally upset that these groups have been approved for the Padare. No doubt there will be lively discussion! This Assembly will celebrate the 50th anniversary of the first World Council Assembly and, hopefully, the 50th anniversary of the UN Charter on Human Rights— a golden opportunity to speak against the discrimination of homosexuals. Many of us believe, however, that the most important task of ecumenical assemblies regarding the issues of sexual orientation is to strengthen the climate in which ongoing debates can take place. While individual churches have their own traditions and experiences and determine their own life, the ecumenical movement’s task is to provide a forum for sharing of insights and searching for a common mission in response to our calling from Jesus Christ. Many of those preparing the WCC assembly realize that, given the wide divergence of opinion, the primary task will be to encourage dialogue and find common words to enable us to discuss these issues with sensitivity among fellow Christians with different opinions. This debate may represent a moment of testing for the ecumenical movement— whether we do indeed acknowledge that the fellowship is not only to encourage us in the things on which we agree but to wrestle with those things about which we have differences of opinion and to hear each other with respect. The time has not come for votes in plenary sessions, as this could give a negative judgment, effectively shutting a door. The only possible ecumenical action is to promote continuing dialogue— to keep the door open. Even that may be difficult in Harare. Robert C. Lodwick is an ordained Presbyterian minister and most recently served the PCUSA as Area Associate for Europe with offices in the Ecumenical Center in Geneva. Bob and his wife, Hedy, have long been active members of More Light Presbyterians. Coming Out as Sacrament Chris Glaser Paper $14.00 Chris Glaser proposes that coming out has biblical precedence and sacramental dimensions. Using personal and biblical illustrations, he discusses coming out as an act of vulnerability, much like the sacrificial offerings of ancient Israel, that invokes God’s presence and effects reconciliation. Includes original liturgical material and a ritual for coming out. Unleashed The Wit and Wisdom of Calvin the Dog Calvin T. Dog with Chris Glaser Cloth $12.00 Calvin’s wit and honest observations help us recognize our human plight. Calvin offers a philosophy of life that has universal applications, and speaks to many of the social and cultural issues of our day. Also by Glaser: Uncommon Calling, Paper, $20.00 Coming Out to God, Paper, $12.00 At your bookstore, your Cokesbury bookstore or call (800) 227-2872 • www.wjk.org Fall 1998 29 Sustaining the Spirit & b b b 4 4 oe ˙ oe Eb Gm 1. Be - 2. Once 3. For 4. So liev - out - bringnow, ers, cast ing in oe oe oe oe Ab here and us joy - we re - sal - ful gath - ject - va - wor - er, ed, tion, ship, oe ˙ oe Fm u - some we our nit - lives lift hearts ed were our we oe oe ˙ Ab/Bb Bb7 by filled Sav - join God's with ior’s in grace; shame, name, song, & b b b oe ˙ oe Gm A But And Once Cho - here now, for - sen are as eign - oe oe oe oe Cm gen - words God's ers er - of own and a - mer - Chilstrantion, cy dren, gers, oe ˙ oe Fm re - that our to deemed we, birth - God from in right we oe oe ˙ Bb7 ev - faith, we now ’ry would pro - be - race. claim: claim, long, & b b b oe ˙ oe Gm Re - *“Come, As Each born ev - heirs day through ’ry - of we oe oe oe oe Cm Je - one the are sus’ with Al - re - dy - bur - migh - joic - ing dens, ty, ing oe ˙ oe Fm and and we and, ris - I fol - through ing will low the oe oe ˙ Bb7 from give this Spir - the you comit, dead, rest.” mand: live & b b b oe ˙ oe Ebmaj7 Fm Eb/G With In †“Love A this Christ God life new we and made oe oe oe oe Ab light are one up we’re ac - an - of liv - cept - oth - ser - ing, ed, er.” vice, oe ˙ n oe Eb/Bb by for - on the God’s giv - Christ sac - own en, we ri - ˙ ˙ Bb7 Pres - loved, take fice ence and our we w Eb led. blest. stand. give. w Believers, Here We Gather Thomas J. Ritter, 1993 Thomas J. Ritter, 1994 *Matthew 11:28 †Matthew 22:36-40 Text and Music ©1998 Thomas J. Ritter Used by permission. Text may also be used with Lancashire, Webb or any 7676 D tune. 30 Open Hands Welcoming Communities Movement News MORE LIGHT CHURCHES Govans Presbyterian Church Baltimore, Maryland Govans is a 500-member urban congregation which is the product of a 1992 merger with Waverly Presbyterian Church, a More Light congregation prior to the merger. It is a racially integrated congregation with a long history of ministry with persons of special needs. It provides housing for both mentally ill and mentally disabled persons and has organized a group of congregations committed to providing housing for 33 homeless families. Immanuel Presbyterian Church Anchorage, Alaska Immanuel is a small congregation in a middle-class section of Anchorage, drawing its members from throughout the city and surrounding area. In the process of redeveloping its life and mission, the congregation is committed to being a church that is safe for discussion of any issue, including matters of human sexuality and leadership. It makes space available to the Lamb of God Metropolitan Community Church, and is developing a supportive relationship with the neighborhood elementary school. Fifteen Conservative Religious Groups Run Anti-Gay Ad Campaign In what critics call a follow-up to a summer of attacks by Republican leaders against gay people, 15 religious groups invested $200,000 in full-page ads in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and USA Today in July, promoting so-called “reparative” therapy for homosexuals, and planned for more ads before the November elections. In an op-ed piece in The New York Times (July 26), gay conservative commentator Andrew Sullivan reflected on their strategy supporting fair treatment of “former” homosexuals. “In a strange and beautiful way, then, the religious right may have finally stumbled onto the true moral ground,” wrote Sullivan. “The more you think about it, the rights of former homosexuals are truly indistinguishable from the rights of gay men and women.” “Reconciling” Designation and Same- Gender Ceremonies Prohibited by United Methodists In early November, the United Methodist Judicial Council struck a blow against the Reconciling movement within that church by ruling that “such identification…is divisive” and forbidden. At the same time, it ruled constitutional the sentence in the denomination’s Social Principles earlier interpreted as legally binding on United Methodist clergy, prohibiting them from conducting same-gender union ceremonies. The first action responded to the decision of the Northwest Texas Annual Conference to name itself a “confessing conference,” in compliance with United Methodism. The Council cited an earlier decision that stated, “A vote to approve implies the power to disapprove, and is therefore not permissible.” Thus an annual conference also may not identify itself either as a Reconciling Conference (seeking reconciliation between l/g/b/t and the church) or as a Transforming Conference (seeking transformation of homosexual persons), reversing two earlier court opinions. The implications for Reconciling Congregations were not specified, but there is fear the ruling may be applied against such churches. In response to the question of divisiveness, the Reconciling Congregations Program reminded the church that “current policies and practices of [the church] fracture the Body of Christ by excluding lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families...” [emphasis added]. The second action resulted from an appeal from the Oregon- Idaho and California-Nevada annual conferences, questioning a prohibition added to the Social Principles in 1996. The prohibition of clergy performing same-gender marriages served as a basis for the trial of the Rev. Jimmy Creech, acquitted by one vote last March in Nebraska. The Judicial Council ruled last August that the restriction was enforceable as church law, an interpretation questioned by the opposition, who claim that the Social Principles simply offer guidance. The Reconciling Congregation Program affirmed at that time, “The…Social Principles…reflect a realization that Christ’s message of inclusiveness and justice is an essential component of our mission. The decision of the Judicial Council to single out this one exclusionary statement to be legally binding is deplorable and theologically unsound.” In related developments, Chicago Bishop Joseph Sprague filed a complaint in October against the Rev. Gregory Dell for performing a same-gender union. And nearly 70 United Methodist clergy in the California-Nevada Annual Conference plan— in what organizer Rev. Don Fado calls an act of “ecclesial disobedience”— to celebrate in early 1999 the holy union of two women: the conference’s lay leader and a member of its board of trustees. Second Stone Mails Final Issue The first and only national gay/lesbian Christian newspaper, Second Stone, ceased publication with its July/August issue due to lack of support, having suffered a $14,000 loss in the first half of this year. Founding editor and publisher Jim Bailey, in a letter to subscribers outlining potential reasons for a recent decline in subscriptions, wrote, “We have lost our niche…As I worked on the July/Aug issue, my tears have freely flown. I have always seen Second Stone as a lifetime work. And even more anguishing, the Nov/Dec issue would have been the 10th anniversary issue.” Subscribers will be compensated with a full year subscription to The Other Side magazine. While thanking subscribers and those who wrote and published the paper, Bailey added, “I rejoice in and celebrate the work you have empowered me to do...I believe God has honored this work.” Fall 1998 31 OPEN AND AFFIRMING Memorial Congregational Church, UCC Sudbury, Massachusetts This suburban church of 300 members has a long history of commitment to mission and justice. Its current focus is planning a capital campaign which will be part of the wider “Gift and the Promise” campaign of the Massachusetts Conference, UCC. As a result of its ONA process, the congregation has a support group for anyone with a concern about ONA issues. Most members were active in the church’s ONA process, and two members find the group helpful to themselves and their gay/lesbian children. The church is also involved in an exciting, growing, interfaith group of congregations involved in ONA-type activities. This group meets twice a year for mutual support and strategy around gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues. Fellowship Congregational Church, UCC Tulsa, Oklahoma Located in the heart of the Bible Belt, this 226-member, midcity congregation is “an alternative church for inquisitive people,” seeking to be a “bridge” between traditional and progressive thought. It is a faith community which seeks to address the religious right, while providing intellectual and spiritual tools to people who wish to better connect their faith, biblical teachings, and the issues of life. Over the first weekend in October, the church hosted presentations by fellows of the “Jesus Seminar.” Fellowship supports g/l/b activities in the community and is home to the local P-FLAG chapter. RECONCILING IN CHRIST Lutheran Church of Christ the Redeemer Minneapolis, Minnesota A congregation of just over one hundred households, Christ the Redeemer gathers weekly around the word and meal of Christ, the center of our common life and the source of spiritual renewal for our daily lives. Opportunities to grow and serve include, among others, learning for all ages, small groups, refugee resettlements, serving meals at Loaves and Fishes, and partnership with other congregations at home and abroad. On June 28, 1998, the church became a Reconciling in Christ congregation. The church invites every person to the bread and cup of Christ and to ministry in his name. St. Paul Lutheran Church Wheaton, Illinois This ELCA congregation of 800 baptized members, established in 1927, is located in a suburb of Chicago in the county of Du Page. Its members are committed to becoming an inclusive and welcoming congregation. It is a congregation with a strong outreach ministry, an outstanding musical program, and a worship service with weekly Eucharist, that uses lay assisting ministers and blends both traditional and contemporary liturgies and music. Although the congregation lost both of its pastors, it was able to institute and complete its study toward becoming a Reconciling in Christ congregation under strong lay leadership and the support and guidance of its interim pastor, Michelle Miller. The affirming statement and a banner inviting all to share in worship, ministry, and fellowship are prominently displayed. RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS People’s United Methodist Church Newburyport, Massachusetts People’s UMC is truly aware of what it means to be a church in mission. This active congregation, with an average Sunday attendance of 50, has many members who perform volunteer work in community food pantries and who collect food donations for Link House, a treatment facility for alcoholics. The church is very open to people of all backgrounds, ages, and sexual orientations, and is extremely proud of its active Sunday School and Children’s programs. Praxis Minneapolis, Minnesota Praxis, a new church start in downtown Minneapolis, is aimed at young adults in their 20s and 30s who have typically not attended church or who have been left out of the church in the past. As part of its “Open Table” mission, the Praxis design team decided to join the family of Reconciling Congregations even before the church opened its doors for the first time. The church, which started holding Sunday evening services in March, has adopted an unusual form of worship which includes no formal preaching, but centers on round table discussions focusing on scripture lessons. With attendance currently averaging between 10 and 30, Praxis has a diverse mix of gay and straight members. More information about Praxis can be found at its web site: www.mumac.org/newthing St. Matthew’s United Methodist Church Acton, Massachusetts St. Matthew’s, a church of 350 members, began examining the issue of becoming a Reconciling Congregation in the summer of 1996 when a church member preached on a book about a parent’s grief following the suicide of a homosexual child. Throughout 1997, the church conducted four Sunday School classes using the Cokesbury curriculum on the General Conference Commission’s Report on Homosexuality (1992). Following additional discussions and information sessions with PFLAG members and persons from the local gay and lesbian speaker’s bureau, the church became a Reconciling Congregation by consensus on November 9, 1997. St. Matthew’s, which was founded 36 years ago and recently celebrated the first anniversary of its new sanctuary, has a very active outreach program. Current missions include its involvement with Rosie’s Place, a Boston women’s shelter, the Maine Economic Mission, and a youth program involving home building in Barrier Island, South Carolina. The church will be hosting a workshop for current and prospective Reconciling Congregations within its Annual Conference at the end of October. 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ___ From One Womb at One Table (Fall 1997) ___ We’re Welcoming, Now What? (Winter 1998) ___ Treasure in Earthen Vessels—Sexual Ethics (Spring 1998) ___ Bisexuality: Both/And Rather Than Either/Or (Summer 1998) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with Affirming Congregation Programme, More Light, Open and Affirming Ministries, Open and Affirming Program, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Selected Resources The Argument Culture—Moving from Debate to Dialogue by Deborah Tannen. New York: Random House, 1998. Caught in the Crossfire—Helping Christians Debate Homosexuality, ed. by Sally B. Geis & Donald E. Messer. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1994. Coming Out as Sacrament by Chris Glaser. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1998. The Culture of Disbelief—How American Law and Politics Trivialize Religious Devotion by Stephen L. Carter. New York: HarperCollins, 1993. The Good Book—Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart by Peter J. Gomes. New York: William Morrow Co., 1996. Homosexuality in the Church—Both Sides of the Debate, ed. By Jeffrey S. Siker. Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1994. The Political Meaning of Christianity—The Prophetic Stance by Glenn Tinder. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991. Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism—A Bishop Rethinks the Meaning of Scripture by John Shelby Spong. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991. Stealing Jesus—How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity by Bruce Bawer. New York: Crown Publishers, 1997. Stranger at the Gate—To Be Gay and Christian in America by Mel White. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994. Why Christianity Must Change or Die: A Bishop Speaks to Believers in Exile by John Shelby Spong. San Francisco: Harper- SanFrancisco, 1998. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Add Open Hands to your holiday gift list this year— either by a donation, or as a gift subscription ($20 per year; $25 outside U.S.) to an individual or congregation. Send to Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Ave Chicago, IL 60641 Thank you! Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 14 No 2 - A House Divided: Irreconcilable Differences? https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ae3b88adc750e33ee01ac49344fe57fc.pdf 9f4d82c7f58111e3a76abceb8785238b Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 14 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1999 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Why Be Specific in Our Welcome? When Tolerance is Not Enough Coming Out Christian Invisibly Gay True Family Values Vol. 14 No. 3 Winter 1999 2 Open Hands Vol. 14 No. 3 Winter 1999 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada), the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Presbyterians, the Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples of Christ), the Open and Affirming Program (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran). Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These seven programs—along with Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming Congregations (Unitarian Universalist)—offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, requests for advertising rates, and other business correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1998 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 Printed on recycled paper. Publisher Mark Bowman Interim Editor Chris Glaser Designer In Print—Jan Graves Why Be Specific in Our Welcome? Tolerance is Not Enough 5 Inclusion and the Problem of “Elmwood” CRAIG WASHINGTON Denouncing homophobia and supporting PWAs is not enough. Fear of Church Association with Homosexuality 7 in John Wesley’s Era ALICE G. KNOTTS Wesley’s own reconciling program with a gay man in prison. Something There Is... 10 After Robert Frost’s “The Mending Wall” MAREN C. TIRABASSI A poem questioning the rigidity of churches. Why Be Specific In Our Welcome? 11 The President’s Church Affirms Unity With Gays and Lesbians RALPH WILLIAMS “God loves you and we love you, we affirm you, and accept you, we treasure you. We welcome you.” –Foundry United Methodist Church, Washington, D.C. “Lord, I want to be in that number, 13 When the saints go marching in...” BETH BENTLEY Saints in a gay pride march. Reconciling 15 LES NORMAN A poem celebrating the welcome decision of a congregation. Coming Out Christian The Campus Minister’s View JAN GRIESINGER 16 A Student’s View HEATHER MOYER 17 Coming out of the “other” closet. Throughout this issue, biblical images suggested by our theme are represented visually in a traditional style and verbally by selected words of scripture: the parable of the lost sheep (cover, and page 4), the woman at the well (page 8), the younger brother’s return (page 14), and the parable of the lost coin (page 20). Winter 1999 3 Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 www.rcp.org Ron Coughlin Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada) P.O. Box 333, Station Q Toronto, Ontario CANADA M4T 2M5 416/466-1489 acpucc@aol.com Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 www.coalition.simplenet.com Bob Gibeling Reconciling in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 www.lcna.org Dick Lundy More Light Presbyterians (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 http://www.mlcn.org Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 http://users.aol.com/ wabaptists Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples of Christ) P.O. Box 44400 Indianapolis, IN 46244 http://pilot.msu.edu/user/ laceyj/ Editorial Advisory Committee Vaughn Beckman, O&A Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Bobbi Hargleroad, MLCN Tom Harshman, O&A Dick Hasbany, MLCN Alyson Huntly, ACP Bonnie Kelly, ACP Susan Laurie, RCP Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Kelly Sprinkle, W&A Margarita Suaréz, ONA Judith Hoch Wray, O&A Stuart Wright, RIC Love in the Open 19 Strengthening Families By Our Welcome SARA MOORES CAMPBELL Commemorating a life and a love. The Body of Christ Stretches to be Inclusive 21 CRAIG A. BUXTON “Love each other deeply, because love covers over many sins.” –Paul MINISTRIES Outreach Specific in Rejection—Why Not in Welcome? 4 APRIL HERRON-SWEET Youth On Harassment and Invisibility: One Student’s Story 9 ANONYMOUS Campus Mysterious Ways 18 ISAIAH JONES SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT A Gift for the Altar 22 A new hymn welcoming lesbian and gay gifts by Amanda Udis Kessler. Next Issue: Listening to Voices Around the World Movement News & Gatherings ..................... 24 Profiles of Welcoming Congregations ......... 25 Welcoming Resources .................................... 26 Annual Welcoming List .................................. 27 Call for articles for Open Hands Fall 1999 HOLY/WHOLLY Theme section: The church became holier as it became more whole, evangelistically opening its doors wider and wider throughout its history to include the unjudaized Gentiles of Acts, the “ordinary” people of the Reformation, the multicultural spectrum of the worldwide church today, and the increasing diversity of the church tomorrow. A rash of “isms” interfere with the integrity of the Body of Christ: racism, classism, sexism, heterosexism, genderism, ageism, ableism, tribalism, and nationalism. Across the chasms of isms, how might the church cultivate an integrity that allows us to suffer and rejoice and worship together? Ministries section: We seek columns describing practical experience and suggestions in the following areas: Welcoming Process, Connections (with other justice issues), Worship, Outreach, Leadership, Health, Youth, Campus, Children. These brief articles may or may not have to do with the theme. Contact with idea by July 15, 1999 Manuscript deadline: September 15, 1999 Chris Glaser, Phone/Fax 404/622-4222 or e-mail at ChrsGlaser@aol.com 991 Berne St. SE, Atlanta, GA 30316-1859 4 Open Hands The Good Shepherd And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Jesus replied, “Take care that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you, in heaven their angels continually see the face of God in heaven. What do you think? If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does the shepherd not leave the ninetynine in the wilderness and go after the one that is missing until found? When found, the shepherd lays it on his shoulders and rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never left. And coming home the shepherd calls together friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was missing.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one who returns than over ninety-nine persons who remained. It is not the will of God in heaven that one of these little ones should be excluded.” Adapted, blending Matthew 18:10-14 and Luke 15:2-7 This summer, a group of organizations including the “Christian Family Network” and the “Christian Coalition” ran a series of paid advertisements in major newspapers across the country. The advertisements described how gay men and lesbians could “leave behind” homosexuality and be “healed” if only they would turn to God for help. Homosexuality was described as a sinful condition which leads to “deception and emotional instability.” The suggested solution was to ask God for a “change of heart” which would lead in turn to happiness and fulfillment. The text of one of these ads was sent to me via e-mail by one of my church members, a gay man. It provided me with a clear and obvious answer as to why churches need to be specific in our welcome. We need to be specific in our welcome of gay men and lesbians because the voice of the church has been, and continues to be, specific in its rejection. And lest we think, “but that’s some other church, not my church, which has been unwelcoming” we have only to look as far as recent church pronouncements against the marriage and ministry of gay and lesbian members. Such negative church decisions have been widely publicized by the national news media, and the message is loud and clear to all: “We are not ready or willing to welcome gays and lesbians here.” Our local conference of United Methodist Churches has entered into an extended discussion about whether and how to take a welcoming stance toward gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons. As the discussion goes on, one perspective often voiced is that we can “welcome all people” without being specific. The fears seem to be that we will offend some of our membership or constituency, that we will be “labeling” ourselves or others, or that in naming one specific welcome we might exclude others who are not mentioned. Our own congregation has learned that being specific in our welcome has helped people in search of an inclusive church to find us. People have been referred to us by our national welcoming program and web site, by the local denominational office, by other pastors, and by people who do not attend the church but know of our welcoming ministry. Our specific welcome has allowed gay and lesbian members to trust us enough to tell their stories, be themselves, and be open about their relationships. Our efforts to implement and incarnate our welcoming statement has given us, on many occasions, the opportunity to share our thoughts, fears, and hopes with one another. We are a stronger church for having decided to make inclusiveness a focal point of our ministry by adding to our Mission Statement: “We welcome all people into our congregation, regardless of age, race, gender, marital status, physical condition, sexual orientation, ethnic background, or economic situation.” April Herron-Sweet, pictured with her family, is copastor of Pacific Beach United Methodist Church, which, she writes, is “known for its warmth and friendliness, ministry to hungry and homeless people, inspiring music and fabulous sanctuary decorations.” She shares the parsonage with the other pastor and their two children. Specific in Rejection – Why Not in Welcome? April Herron-Sweet Outreach Winter 1999 5 Church Not Part of My Family “Culture” When I look back over my childhood I can attest that religion was not an integral part of my family “culture.” It really was not “our way of doing things.” In fact, I never attended a regular service until I was 17 years old. I remember neighbors would playfully tease us on those rare occasions when we headed for hallowed ground. “Must be a wedding or a funeral!” “Lord, the Washingtons are going to church. I know it’s gonna rain!” My parents often joked right along with them. They freely admitted the absence of that tradition in our home. I think they were somewhat proud of their non-conformist stance. My brother and I were forewarned about religious folk. My parents portrayed them as sometimes arrogant or spiteful but almost always hypocritical. My parents were quick to upbraid the saved ex-smoker who warned about the perilous nicotine “spirit.” For them, hypocrisy was the universal chink in the armor of those hapless saints. I soon understood that my identity as a same-gender-loving being had placed me as an outsider at the gates of any black church in America. My adult awareness of that identity and the re- Tolerance Is Not Enough Inclusion and The Problem of “Elmwood” Craig Washington “It is the wretched choice of the oppressed either to deny your essence in order to be accepted for what you are not, which is to die; or to accept the godforsaken lot they have offered your kind, which is to live a non-life; or to redefine yourself demanding recognition from those who have not a name for what you call yourself, which is to live fully in the face of fear and ignorance.” sulting social “location” necessitated that I take some stance either in opposition or deference to the cultural status quo. It is the wretched choice of the oppressed either to deny your essence in order to be accepted for what you are not, which is to die; or to accept the godforsaken lot they have offered your kind, which is to live a non-life; or to redefine yourself demanding recognition from those who have not a name for what you call yourself, which is to live fully in the face of fear and ignorance. Perhaps my parent’s non-compliance afforded me a critical eye, the wherewithal to interrogate the unquestioned arbiter of black propriety and, more to the point, normalcy. I often wonder if they had any inkling that they were raising not only a black homosexual (of this I’m sure there was ample evidence) but a homosexual activist, that is, one who asks “who are you to ask who am I?” I didn’t know much about Atlanta when I moved here in 1992, but I certainly did know something about the South. Black folk here went to church and expected that you did too even if you were from up North. By this time I’d fashioned a clear image of the church and what it represented. I saw “The Black Church” as a monolithic anachronism, once the vanguard of the most fabled progressive movement in American history, now a self-serving sanctuary of pompous zealots. While on temp assignments, I politely refused invitations from friendly co-workers to attend service or a choir concert. I was safe— for a short time anyway. Then Came “Elmwood,” a Tolerant Church I began meeting other gay men and lesbians from various artist and activist circles. Many of them did not attend any organized religious services. Most of those who did mentioned a particular church (I will use the pseudonym “Elmwood”) located in a historically black neighborhood. “Elmwood” was acclaimed for its progressive philosophy and application of scripture—the pastor’s directives were affirming and not guilt-based, and notably, there was no gay-bashing in the sermons. I was curious and reasonably assured by my new friends, so I attended a service. I loved it. A legion of warm-smilin’ goodsmellin’ nice-lookin’ members filled a huge church-in-the-round. Several “Toleration is not the opposite of intoleration, but is the counterfeit of it. Both are despotisms. The one assumes to itself the right of withholding liberty of conscience, and the other of granting it.” Thomas Paine 6 Open Hands people greeted me with a disarming sincerity, including some handsome men (whom I did not assume were same-sexattracted) who hugged me with full body hugs. I was unprepared but fully delighted! The pastor, an imperial woman, preached as if she were talking to a peer offering encouragement not judgment. She was very animated but unlike many preachers, her ardor highlighted her words without overshadowing her message. During subsequent visits, I noticed that my initial enthusiasm began to wane. At first I didn’t understand why, as there were no covert homophobic subtexts in the sermon, and the members were as affectionate as ever. After my third or fourth visit, I still declined to join and was attending less frequently. Perhaps, I thought, my original perceptions of the institutional church were too dominant for me to fully accept any church as my own. In many ways Elmwood was everything I thought “the Church” should be. However, I could not deny that my admiration for Elmwood had always been detached and academic. There was no personal connection for me, and once I recognized the nature of my relationship with Elmwood, it abruptly became clear why. In all the morning hours I spent at Elmwood there was never any reference to my full identity as a self-identified same-gender-loving man. Oh, there were several cautions about the evils of homophobia and AIDS discrimination. And that was exceptionally admirable at a time when many black churches were framing AIDS as evidence of God’s disdain for homosexuality. Admirable, but not enough. In order to feel at home, to feel truly embraced beyond the greeting hug, I needed more. Recalling sermons past I realized that none of the messages addressed the lives of gays and lesbians directly. While there were plenty of specific examples of the challenges and triumphs of heterosexual unions, as well as singles’ ministries and workshops, there was no such intimate guidance for same-gender-loving folk. Given the numbers of gays and lesbians lining the pews and coffers at Elmwood, this was no mere oversight. I am inclined to believe that this pastor felt that she was doing the best she could for her gay members by denouncing the oppression they faced from the outside world. To go any further— that is, to provide a focused level of ministry to gay folk— would be, for any number of reasons, extremely risky. Perhaps the pastor herself was not comfortable or knowledgeable enough about the lives and culture of gays and lesbians despite our common black identity. She may also have feared offending many of those warm-smilin’ members whose love and tolerance had distinct limits. It is highly uncommon for any large black church to affirm gay and lesbian identity and experience to the extent that this pastor had done. I pondered whether to ask any more of Elmwood would be asking too much. What More Could I Expect? Iasked several gay-identified Elmwood members what they got from this church. Some of the common responses were: “I feel at ease here because I know I won’t be called an abomination.” “I don’t need Pastor to focus on my gayness, there’s more to me than that.” “Everybody there is friendly. The straight people there are very progressive.” There is some problematic July 29 - August 1, 1999 University of North Texas Denton, Texas Come to the sixth national convocation of the Reconciling Congregation Program Renew Release Reconcile Rejoice For convocation registration information, contact: Reconciling Congregation Program • 3801 N. Keeler Avenue • Chicago, IL 60641 Voice: 773/736-5526 • Fax: 773/736-5475 • Website: www.rcp.org Worship preachers: Renae Extrum-Fernandez Sid Hall Melanie Morrison Cecil Williams Bible Study Leader: Ted Jennings Music Leader: Jorge Lockward Worshops Covenant Groups Area Strategy Sessions Celebrations Winter 1999 7 subtext underlying each of those three responses. (a) Elmwood appeals to many gays and lesbians because of the lack of traditional homophobic vitriol— in fact homophobia is often denounced there. Generally, black gay folk expect a good trouncing from most black churches. It is difficult for many to demand more from a church that refutes this approach. If I am used to being thirsty every Sunday, I might not criticize the only pastor who offers me tap water even though she’s pouring Evian for my neighbor. (b) There are those who claim that their sexual orientation is not an integral aspect of their identity. I believe that such claims are grounded in some form of denial and false conformity (“I’m not that gay— I’m not that different”) in order to defend against social approbation. These folks may not want to be addressed in terms of their gayness and may prefer indirect, generic acknowledgment. (c) Many of us are so happy to meet straight people who are not castigating us that we don’t critically assess the power dynamic at play in our connections with them (“You are so good for just accepting me. Who am I to question our relationship?”). In my six years here in Atlanta, I have found that many black gays and lesbians accept social rejection from black institutions without challenging their communities. Many such folks continue to attend and pay tithes to churches whose pastors condemn them from the pulpit. Unfortunately, then, these churches have no apparent inducement to stop stoning members who remain as loyal as abused children. Those who do confront homophobia or refuse to support oppressive organizations often make an exception with the church. Elmwood is experienced by many as a haven of tolerance which I believe is misinterpreted as affirmation. Thus Elmwood has little incentive to work harder toward being inviting toward and inclusive of gay worshipers. Ironically, the only black church in Atlanta (Unity Fellowship) headed by an openly gay pastor has a relatively small congregation. Due to Unity’s “profile” many black gays know of this space, and yet very few have ever visited. I believe that churches such as Elmwood face an ethical challenge. Its leadership has already publicly displayed a level of understanding and compassion for its gay members. Yet for whatever reason(s), it will not fully extend its resources to launch a “culturally competent” spiritual intervention targeting this population. The Broader Question(s) of Authentic Diversity This dilemma in many ways parallels the contemporary topic of diversity along lines of race, class, gender and other forms of identity. Inclusiveness has become one of the most influential standards (and red herrings) of hiring practices, advocacy, grass roots organizing, and boardroom ethics in America. Such efforts usually seek to redress white patriarchal thought and Fear of Church Association with Homosexuality in John Wesley’s Era Alice G. Knotts When John Wesley was an Oxford fellow and active leader in the Holy Club, whose members daily visited prisons after having prayer and Holy Communion, the Methodists showed an unconventional and unpopular sympathy for a homosexual. Wesley took up the cause of Mr. Blair, a young gay man who had been imprisoned for sodomy.1 Nowhere in his journal did Wesley write judgmentally of Blair’s behavior. Instead, 14 journal entries about Blair describe how Wesley devoted much time during the autumn and winter of 1732 to visiting Blair and reading to him, contacting his attorney, Mr. Austin, and writing out his case.2 Wesley met with the vice chancellor of Oxford University to discuss his proteges, including Blair. On November 14, 1732, a number of interested Methodists met at a local inn to discuss Blair’s case. Townspeople heaped criticism on Wesley and the Methodists for their actions. Some thought that it would have been better for Blair to suffer the dreadful hardships of prison life than for the name of Methodists to be associated with homosexuality. But in spite of setbacks and hostile criticism, Wesley and the Holy Club maintained their ministry with Blair. The Blair situation provided “the occasion for terrible reflections,” leading Methodist historian V. H. H. Green to wonder whether some Methodists, in considering homosexuality, were led to re-examine their own sexual feelings and behaviors. From Experiencing God’s Love, A Methodist Federation for Social Action Presentation to the United Methodist Committee to Study Homosexuality, December 1, 1989, by Alice G. Knotts. 1 Vivian H.H. Green, John Wesley (Lanham, Maryland: University Press of America, 1964, 1987), 32. 2 Vivian H. H. Green, The Young Mr. Wesley (London, 1961), 167, 178-9. 8 Open Hands application or derivatives thereof. It has touched every realm of cultural discourse. It has been the source of great struggle and debate and with good reason. For many of us the act of “including” those whom we perceive as different from us may pose a threat to our traditions and beliefs. Does everyone need to be more inclusive? When is inclusion appropriate? When is it not? These questions must be addressed in specific contexts. There is certainly a need for group bonding and organizing along lines of common identity. There are certain levels of affirmation and healing that can happen only in these groupings. I don’t think inclusion efforts should be applied to universally heterogenize these spaces. I believe such standards are applicable to public institutions and services and even some private clubs and services where it is deemed appropriate and/or just (by the group itself or by the law). If however a group/institution identifies the need and/or imperative (ethical or otherwise) to include people who are somehow different from the majority of its members, then such a group must honestly assess its consciousness and the desires of those whom it seeks to include. It must be said that white patriarchy isn’t the only form of dominion and exclusion to be addressed. Unfortunately, oppression doesn’t morally inform all oppressed people to act better. It is often quite the opposite— and certainly, many black organizations, as an example, exclude gayidentified and other “different kinds” of black people from many goods and services, including affirmation of God’s love. Many of these institutions act as if inclusion is a charge for white men only; that by dint of their blackness they are “down by law” and are exempt from this work. They are already oppressed and are in no position to oppress anyone else. Such fallacious justification hinders not only moral development; it blocks the social progress of black folks and people everywhere. The Woman at the Well The Samaritan woman said to Jesus, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?”…[Afterward Jesus said to his disciples:] “I tell you, look around you, and see how the fields are ripe for harvesting.” John 4:9, 35 Winter 1999 9 What Next for “Tolerant” Churches? What is the recommendation(s) then for black churches like Elmwood, that have demonstrated an appreciation of the struggles of its own same-gender-loving kin? There is rigorous work to be done along several fronts. The gay and lesbian members and/or visitors who desire ministry that is more reflective of their experience must voice their concerns to the leadership. The process of inclusion is not the sole responsibility of the “including” party. The leadership, of course, should evaluate its own desire and commitment to such efforts before taking any action. Too many groups seek to diversify for too many wrong reasons (i.e., “it would make people feel better,” “it’s just something we should do”). An action plan including goals and objectives should be developed and implemented with the participation of gays and lesbians from the onset. (This would also be true in terms of bisexual or transgendered outreach.) The leadership body would need to open its ranks to include gay-identified persons so that again the change is not merely cosmetic. The pastor should also speak to this activity within the context of sermons, announcements, and bulletins to send a message that the process is conscious and deliberate. If Elmwood were serious about reaching out to its gay sisters and brothers, the commitment would manifest beyond the level of good intentions. Indeed, it may not be appropriate for Elmwood to take on a more inclusive approach. Then I would assume that gays and lesbians who are not satisfied with Elmwood would identify a space that more fully addresses their needs. It is my hope that black churches and their leaders begin to talk to, not at, their gay and lesbian members so that a greater understanding can be reached. In many instances such revolutionary discourse will be spearheaded by the body of the broader Church. Indeed the issue of the treatment of gays in the church may very well offer the pivotal focus whereby demagogues will be dislodged and the body will authorize responsible leadership. Even the most influential black megachurches which are grounded in oppressive traditions cannot suppress the growth of progressive thought throughout black communities across the nation. Thus the concept of inclusion will soon be redefined as no longer the proverbial indictment of white male corporate America. Black churches have never been exempt from this responsibility. It is a charge mandated by a very high covenant they can no longer ignore. Craig Washington is the Program Coordinator for The Deeper Love Project, an HIV Prevention program of AID Atlanta specifically reaching gay African American males. He also serves as Co-Chair of the Metro Atlanta HIV Health Services Planning Council and Vice- Chair of 2nd Sunday, a support organization for same-gender-loving black men. Born and raised in New York, he loves to write and listen to Aretha Franklin. On Harassment and Invisibility: One Student’s Story Nobody tells Latino kids in the high school that nobody cares if they’re Hispanic so long as they keep it to themselves. Jewish kids aren’t told that they’re sinners, and they could change into Christians if they wanted to. People don’t tell black kids they should put up with racism because they’ve come so far from when they were slaves. They don’t have to defend why there is a black history month, or why people want black studies included in the curriculum. People don’t say, “That’s so Korean!” when they mean something is stupid or weird. People don’t tell disabled kids that the community isn’t ready to defend their equal rights and inclusion yet. You never hear anyone argue that breast cancer is God’s way of killing off women, or that it’s a good thing. If a teacher hears anyone use a slang insult for a Chinese kid, they jump on it. When foreign exchange students ask teachers about dating in the school, they aren’t sent to see a guidance counselor. But every day in the high school, I hear it’s okay if I’m gay so long as I stay in the closet, and that I’m an abomination against God, that I can change if I want to, and that people like me shouldn’t be taught about in school. I’m told that I should be satisfied because our school is far better than it used to be, and that I shouldn’t push for my equal rights and inclusion because the community isn’t ready yet. I hear, “That’s so gay!” all the time, and I hear that “AIDS is my punishment” for being who I am, and I hear the word “faggot” all the time. It’s hard not to walk around angry all the time. —Anonymous Massachusetts High School Student Youth 10 Open Hands Something there is that doesn’t love a church— that sends the ground swell and the subway roar to crack the plaster in the highest place and shatter stained glass on the street below. The work of burglars is another thing. What they must hope to find in this poor place I hardly know, perhaps a place to sleep. One hastened off—we set alarms again and mend the window’s wooden frame. I smile—we would keep this one out and long to welcome others in. We meet as congregation once a year to rehearse the business and tell the tale of seasons past. Well, what report of sacred time? But, nonetheless, we prop the structure up again, line out concerns, note trends, mourn friends whose passing make the pews more bare. And one says, “Good churches… good churches make good neighbors.” Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder if I could put a notion in all their heads, “Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it the very moral of the Samaritan story where priest and scribe walk by, that churches are more walls than doors? Before I’d build a church I’d like to know what I was churching in or churching out and to whom I might be neighboring. Something there is that doesn’t love a church, that wants it open. I could say, “angels.” But it’s not angels exactly, and I’d rather we said it for ourselves. I look around and see us bringing stones to build the church, not loaves or flowers, but some age-old strong things, hard things. We move in sadness then it seems to me, not of world only, and the shades of death, but of not-trusting in the chance of life. We like our ancestors’ certitude and hope to paraphrase some god we met once, any one will do. We say again, “Good churches make good neighbors.” Something There Is… after Robert Frost’s The Mending Wall Maren C. Tirabassi Maren C. Tirabassi is a poet, writer of liturgy, and “bi-vocational” pastor of Northwood Congregational Church, UCC, in Northwood, New Hampshire. She has coauthored a number of books, including Touch Holiness and An Improbable Gift of Blessing. She is adding her poetry to a forthcoming book from United Church Press entitled Seeing Is Believing: Faith, Art and Social Justice. A Harvard Divinity School graduate, she lives with her husband and children in Portsmouth. Call For Prayers From Youth Rev. Tirabassi is seeking prayers 75-150 words in length on a single concern written by writers between the ages of 12 and 21 for an anthology of prayers and worship resources for youth. Send submissions to her at 271 Lafayette Rd., Portsmouth, NH 03801-5433; questions, phone 603/436-9352. Winter 1999 11 Ten years ago on “Laity Sunday,” I was asked to give the sermon at my church, Foundry United Methodist, probably because I had asked our Council of Ministries the previous year to begin a dialogue about becoming a Reconciling Congregation. I had extreme anxiety over addressing the congregation that Sunday. While no one assigned me a topic, it was clear what I had to talk about: the need for our church to unambiguously embrace and welcome its gay and lesbian members. Seven years later, on October 3, 1995, Foundry UMC voted to become a Reconciling Congregation, and its administrative board adopted the following statement: We, the friends and members of Foundry United Methodist Church, hold deeply our commitment to help bring about a peaceful, loving, just and accepting world. We are proud of our active, diverse congregation and have seen how each person has graced our community with her/his talents. We believe that the Holy Spirit dwells within all. We acknowledge our oneness with all of God’s creation and invite gay and lesbian persons to share our faith, our community life, and our ministries. We also affirm the same for all persons without regard to race, color, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, age, economic status, or physical or mental condition. We seek to be an inclusive congregation and we proclaim our commitment to seek the reconciliation of all persons to God and each other through Jesus Christ. As we journey toward reconciliation with all, we proclaim this statement of welcome to all, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters: God loves you and we love you, we affirm you, and accept you, we treasure you. We welcome you. At the same time, we recognize that there remain differences of opinion among us on issues relating to sexuality. We do not seek to erase our differences, but to journey together in faith toward greater understanding and mutual respect. In becoming a Reconciling Congregation we believe that we are being reconciled to God and to one another. “All this is from God, who reconciled us…through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” (II Corinthians 5:18) I sometimes ask myself, how did a nice Pentecostal boy like me get to a place where I no longer feel estranged from God because I am gay and find my mind and heart transformed to tell a new story of God’s grace? I have come a long way from seeing this as my deepest shame to proclaiming it as a blessing of God. As I reflect on my life and spiritual journey and try to find the words to express where I am today, three themes of my journey come to mind: 1. Moving from serving a God of fear to serving a God of love; 2. Coming to understand that scripture does not condemn me for being a gay man; 3. Becoming aware that human love, including sexual love, is a good gift of God. Why Be Specific In Our Welcome? The President’s Church Affirms Unity with Gays and Lesbians Ralph Williams The God of Fear vs. the God of Love Central to my spiritual journey has been moving from serving a God of Fear to understanding the God of Love as revealed in Jesus the Christ. I don’t know if you knew the God of Fear. For me this god is best represented in the Old Testament by Baal, the pagan god, who required the community to sacrifice their firstborn to appease him. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home. My parents and all the members of my family are devout Pentecostals. My father and brother are Pentecostal ministers, as well as one brother-in-law. When I joined Foundry some 20 years ago, the minister from my home church would not transfer my church membership to a United Methodist Church. Instead, he wrote the church to explain what we believe as Pentecostal Christians and why Methodists were not true members of the Church of Jesus Christ! Within that tradition, accepting Christ in my late teens was—at least partially— an attempt to have God change my same-gender love orientation. As I began to understand this orientation, I also understood that it was not accepted by my church. My church promised that if I accepted Christ, my same-gender love orientation would go away. It did not! For several years I struggled with that reality. During a period of despair God allowed me to meet a gay man who was also struggling with his sexual orientation and his faith. It was through that encounter that I was led to Foundry United Methodist Church. It was within Adapted from an October 17, 1998 presentation before 300 people of the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church held at Towson UMC. The gathering included a spectrum of presenters and was sponsored by the conference task force on homosexuality. 12 Open Hands this new church that I came to a fresh understanding of God’s grace and love. At Foundry I came in contact with Affirmation, United Methodists for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Concerns. Affirmation formed a Bible Study Group which met at my home for over ten years. We studied the scriptures, shared our lives, and came to know with a certainty God’s love. When I stood to speak on that Laity Sunday morning ten years ago, I was undergirded by the love and support of the Bible Study group and our growing knowledge of God’s love and presence which emboldened us to take on this task. We had no idea where the journey would lead. Over the seven years of study and dialogue in the congregation we had many difficult times. Despite the difficult times, I came to know that it is different when you know the God of Love. With the God of Love you don’t have to win the battle, just engage as God gives you grace. With the God of Love you only need strength and grace for the day. With the God of Love you don’t even have to get it right all of the time. With the God of Love you can trust. I am glad I have come to know the God of Love and am grateful for a congregation where I could discover this God. Scripture and the Hot Comb People sometimes ask how I can ignore the “clear” scriptural condemnation of homosexuality. That reminds me of an incident in my family which gave me great insight on how scripture is used and misused in the Christian community. My early childhood was spent in Jamaica where the black Christian women did not cut their hair or use hot combs to straighten their hair. Straightening one’s hair was considered to be worldly and not in line with God’s requirements for Christian living. My mother did not use a hot comb in her hair. After my family immigrated to the U.S., my mother and the rest of us had to come face to face with the fact that all the black Christian women in our Pentecostal Christian Church used hot combs to straighten their hair. It took my mother years to adjust to this change. About the time she started using the hot comb to straighten her hair the Black Pride movement began to take hold in the U.S. Out went hot combs as crinkly Afros became a sign of black pride. In my conservative Pentecostal church this demonstration of black pride was not warmly received, and the black crinkly hair was seen as being “worldly.” My mother made the transition to the hot comb just in time because she certainly didn’t want to be perceived as a member of a worldly movement! When I first heard that homosexuals (not to mention biblical scholars) were pointing out that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was not about homosexuality but about inhospitality, I wondered how they could possibly have perverted scripture in that manner. But when I read the story now, I wonder how it could have been perverted to have been cited as a story about condemnation of homosexuality. The story has nothing to say about a loving, caring relationship between two persons of the same gender. It would have been easier to conclude that the story was about sex between angels and human beings than about having sex between persons of the same gender, but the story was not about that either. It was about physical, sexual abuse of the stranger. It was about grossly inhospitable behavior, not about same-gender love. What I see in both these examples is our tendency to bring our cultural views and interpretations to scripture. Homosexuality is not a major theme of the scriptures, it is not a minor theme of the scriptures— it did not make Moses’ top 10. A tendency to single out this one issue as the defining aspect of our faith is a matter of culture and tradition, not Gospel. The first commandment is to love God, the second is to love our neighbor. The love of God has transformed my understanding of scripture. I now ask, how can scripture be perverted and used as a means of alienating gay and lesbian people from God? I now find it curious that gay and lesbian people are the only group knocking on the church doors asking to be let in and to whom the doors are closed. This, I am convinced, is not the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sexual Love— A Foretaste of God’s Love Much of the discussion of homosexuality seems to miss the fact that we are talking about an expression As we journey toward reconciliation with all, we proclaim this statement of welcome to all, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters: God loves you and we love you, we affirm you, and accept you, we treasure you. We welcome you. —Foundry United Methodist Church, Washington, D.C. “I am glad I have come to know the God of Love and am grateful for a congregation where I could discover this God.” Winter 1999 13 of human love. God is love! And, as the church affirms, human sexual love is a good gift of God. It is a part of what makes us fully human. It provides healing and comfort and relationship. Believing that human sexual love is just for procreation is missing the broader purpose of human sexuality. Loving someone of the same gender is the same love with the same power to comfort and heal and provide temporary respite from loneliness, estrangement and despair as any other love. It is a foretaste of the love of God. Therapist and theologian John J. McNeill, the former Jesuit priest, notes that good psychology is good theology and good theology is good psychology. What gives deep meaning and healing of the human soul and helps us to love and relate to the deepest parts of ourselves and others is a gift of God. On the other hand, what leads to the kind of hatred that causes the violence we saw in Wyoming last fall is not of God. Much of what constitutes the current position and practice of the church leads to the kind of self hatred and hatred of others that gives license to those who think they are doing God’s work by marginalizing and even killing gay and lesbian people. Instead of disassociating itself from gays and lesbians, the church should be disassociating itself from the Topeka, Kansas minister Fred Phelps and others who would condone the murder of Matthew Shepard and picket his funeral because he is gay. The church should disassociate itself from those who would deny our inheritance as sons and daughters of God. The church wants us to live lives worthy of the Christ who died for us and so do we. Our message to the church is that we can only live such lives when we claim the authentic persons God created us to be. We do not want to live lives in closets of fear but to bring down the walls of fear which block us all. From Church Family to Family In the midst of the Reconciling Congregation discussion at Foundry Church, I decided to come out to members of my family. Yes, some already “Lord, I want to be in that number, when the saints go marching in…” Beth Bentley Marching in New York City’s Gay Pride Parade several years ago, a group from my church carried a banner with the message: PARK SLOPE UNITED METHODIST CHURCH: GAY AND STRAIGHT RECONCILED BY FAITH IN A LOVING GOD. In contrast, the presumably religious counter-demonstrators whom we passed carried signs which said things like, GOD SENT JESUS TO PUNISH SINNERS. While marching, we met a man who told us that he was an ordained United Methodist minister who had been forced to leave the ministry when he revealed his homosexuality. When he discovered that most people in our contingent were not gay, he said, “I can’t believe you walked all this way when you didn’t have to!” But we did have to march. We had to march to demonstrate our faith in a loving God and because the homophobia which pervades our society also pervades our church, resulting in our church depriving itself of this person’s gifts as well as the gifts of too many others. Testimony to the United Methodist Committee to Study Homosexuality’s Listening Post April 28, 1990. knew. But we were playing one of those family games where those who knew didn’t want others to know. I decided to end this family game, end the secrets. I wrote a letter and mailed it to all members of my immediate family. The first person to respond was my dad, a Pentecostal minister. He called and, in a brief conversation, said, “Ralph, I read your letter and noted its content. I would like to take you up on your offer to come visit you and your friend.” I didn’t know what kind of visit to expect. After discussing with my friend the possibility of my dad visiting, I called my father back to let him know that I had received a very negative letter from my mother and that if 14 Open Hands his visit was intended to interfere with our relationship, it would be better if he didn’t come. It would not be pleasant. He said he and my mother did not see eye to eye on this matter and he wanted to come visit. During my father’s one-week visit, he and I had some of the most meaningful and honest discussions of my life. He wanted to know if I loved God and accepted the Lord Jesus Christ. I said I did. He said, after a series of discussions on various issues, that we were not that far apart. Before he left, he asked if we could pray together. He held hands with me and my friend and prayed God’s blessing on our home. This demonstrated to me how with God’s help we can be transformed— gaining understanding and offering acceptance through love. I have come to view the ministry of welcoming congregations as a ministry to the whole church. The message is that God’s love and grace truly are amazing. It includes gays and lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered persons— and it reached me. I know that to be the good news of the gospel and it is that good news that our ministry proclaims. Ralph Williams is a member of Foundry United Methodist Church in Washington D.C. He was a member of its Reconciling Congregation Task Force and is the founder of Foundry’s Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Group. The Younger Brother’s Return “Then the father said to the elder brother, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’” —Jesus, Luke 14:31-32 WJK Ad Winter 1999 15 Reconciling Les Norman I can’t remember now the facts of how I came to get the word, or when it was, though I recall a night of snow and hard to travel out to that church gath’ring in the farther suburbs. It was a smallish group of twelve or so just starting on their journey into parts unknown. How could they know? Or I? But start they did, and I the one who helped them on their way. I told my story, fresh and vivid then to me, and startling new to them, of our young son, and how his news, his sense of who he is, had rocked our world. And how we’d come to terms with it, and then, with insight’s flash, had turned the world around, and seen, with clarity, where God’s truth lies, and where the falsehood and denial. Les Norman is pastor and teacher of the Sanbornton Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, in Sanbornton, New Hampshire, one of six Open and Affirming congregations in that state. Les is the father of three sons, the youngest of whom is gay. He is also active in PFLAG, and is the current president of the New Hampshire State Council. That meeting was a first; I had no standard of comparison, no feel of how this journey might proceed. They seemed to have been moved, this little group, and their young pastor thanked me as I left the door. And then the other day we met, in some chance way. She sought me out and said that now her church had come to the resolve to reconcile, to be both open and affirming of each child of God. I shared with all her joy, and memories of that time when we had started on the road; and offered up a silent prayer of thanks for grace that gives us strength to persevere. We wanted to put our longstanding affirmation for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people into practice through ritual and worship. We wanted to be unambiguous that this event was open and welcoming of g/l/ b/t and heterosexual people on campus and in the community. Being in a rural area with the closest welcoming congregation 75 miles away, both community residents as well as students were enthusiastic. Our title for our annual worship services during Coming Out Week, “Coming Out Christian,” was borrowed from the Rev. Steve Hammond of the First Baptist Church at Oberlin College, part of a similar week on their own campus. The event is listed on the Coming Out Week calendar and publicized through fliers and advertising. A variety of leaders served as musicians, readers, ushers, etc., thus providing outreach to their friends as well. The most powerful elements of the services have been: • a rainbow and other symbols around the chapel; • calls to worship, hymns, litanies naming the names and experiences of g/l/b/t people, which was very empowering; (For example, Rev. Rick Yramategui’s hymn “Hear Our Voices” includes these words: “Joined together on this day; straight and lesbian and gay.”) • using the poem “What if God Were a Big, Black Lesbian?” by Michael Edward Mitchell; • brief sermons on themes such as “Love Casting Out Fear”; • sharing time when coming out stories were told and current events celebrated or lamented; • a time of prayer when all the pieces were gathered together and lifted up to the God of the Open Door who brings light into the fearsome closet; • our closing hymn and benediction in a circle with hands joined. Our best attended and most joyful event was entitled “Human Rights Celebration: A Worship Service of Thanksgiving to Honor Adoption of the Sexual Orientation Amendment.” While students were away on winter break, the Athens City Council had added “sexual orientation” to the city human rights ordinance. Students and community members welcomed a chance to celebrate this big step forward in a public way. City Council members were invited and asked to give brief testimony on their experience of publicly supporting this ordinance. They were overwhelmed with the gratitude and applause they received. Most said it was the only thanks they ever received for serving in public office. As we say in the welcoming congregations movement, you have to be bold with the g/l/b/t words in publicizing your welcome, otherwise we will assume that “open” does not really mean us. By creating worship opportunities on campus to put the “Christian” and “g/l/b/t” parts together, we open a clear channel for the love of God. To the Christians who would scorn us, we say: we are here, we are queer, we are pilgrims of the faith, and we are not hiding any more. A few negative letters and phone calls have come in, but they can’t compare with the smiles of joy and shouts of amen from those who are finding a beloved community. When I was wrestling with my sexual identity, the biggest issue was how my Christian faith fit into it all. I was raised a United Methodist, and my family is very conservative in their political and religious views. All I could do for a while was blame God for making me gay, which I had learned was a horrible thing that would send me to hell. I didn’t understand what I had done to deserve it, and I was so angry. Yet when I was going through the hardest times of my journey to acceptance, God got me through it all. I remember praying to God so many times when I thought the only thing left for me to do was to kill myself, and at the last second I’d get this overwhelming feeling of comfort and relaxation. I knew God was telling me everything was okay, and that killing myself would never be the right way out. And I am okay. In fact, I’m fabulous. My faith fits into my life, and actually, it’s the foundation of my life. I can’t imagine living without it. I really think I’d be lost.Yet now that I’ve come to accept it myself, I often get challenged. “Homosexual Christian”: it sounds quite the oxymoron by society’s standards today. But many of us live with that title for our entire lives, facing alienation from both the Christian community and the queer community. Many Christians say “your lifestyle is a sin, and you are not welcome in our community.” Or they make us feel uncomfortable in other ways, like tossing around the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin,” therefore not accepting us as whole persons. And then the queer community, many of whom are turned off to religion in general because of the hypocrisy they see in the church, wonder how other queers can still be part of a religion that does not welcome us. It’s surprising how many “closeted” Christians there are in the queer community. Most of us are looking for a way to be involved with other open-minded Christians (which may also seem like an oxymoron), straight and gay. The Campus Minister’s View Jan Griesinger So when I was a freshman in college and was dealing with coming out to friends and family, I was really trying to find some way to feel okay with being a Christian too. That’s when I saw a sign advertising a “Coming Out Christian” worship service put on by United Campus Ministry during Ohio University’s Coming Out Week. I was happy to see that a religious organization saw the need to address this issue. The service uses its motto well: “Proudly Embracing Straight & Gay.” For once everyone was welcome, especially the queer community! The service encouraged us to see our sexuality as what it is: a gift from God that should be celebrated and embraced. All the inclusive words, songs, and prayers in the service also served to move our faith into more open and progressive mindsets. I met so many other queer Christians and it was nice not to feel as alienated from either community. We decided to keep the service going throughout the years (I’m a junior now ). Many good feelings and happenings have come out of the service, like making lasting friendships, growing in our faiths, and realizing that no one can draw that line between God and us. Our Christian service even inspired some of my queer Jewish friends to have their first ever “Coming Out Jewish” event! Our welcome has to be specific— we have to state exactly what the service is about and who it is for. Everyone needs to help stop this division between the queer community and the church, or the wedge that has already been partially driven between us will just separate us forever. God loves us and makes us who we are, and no one can say there is no room for us in God’s kingdom. Coming Out Christian A Student’s View Heather Moyer Heather Moyer (left) is a broadcast journalism major at Ohio University and a member of a United Methodist Church in the Dayton, Ohio area. Jan Griesinger (right) is director of the United Campus Ministry of Ohio University and national coordinator of CLOUT (Christian Lesbians OUT Together). 16 Open Hands Winter 1999 17 18 Open Hands As a young African American male growing up in the community, I often heard the phrase “God works in mysterious ways.” This proclamation was heard not only in worship settings but on the lips of people in the community on various occasions. There was a strength within this expression that made me know this was an important awareness to have. As my understanding of spiritual matters developed I eventually realized that this adage “God works in mysterious ways” meant that God’s truth, purposes and love often happened in unusual ways and through unexpected experiences. The power of this truth hit me and our students with the force of a mighty wind one Wednesday evening. Each Wednesday evening at United Campus Ministry at Oregon State University we have a student gathering. This time consists of a meal, music and a Bible study or some subject related to faith. We were just beginning our time of study for the evening when a young student walked in. As was our practice, we welcomed her into our midst. Lynn informed us that she had never seen our building before. Seeing lights on and the door open she decided to enter. After introductions from everyone we invited her to be a part of the study. She agreed. Our focus was on God’s love being available to everyone. John 3:16-17 made it clear that Jesus’ coming was a demonstration of the universality of God’s love. We also looked at the Galatians 3:28 passage—“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” The interaction was very stimulating as students applied these truths to their particular life experiences. At one point in the discussion a student raised the concern that the Chris- Mysterious Ways Isaiah Jones tian community seemed so hostile to homosexual persons. He said if it was in fact true that God’s love was available to everyone and that there were no distinctions between ethnic groups, social status and genders, then it was in fact hypocritical not to accept homosexuals into the Christian community. To restrict them in their service to the church was placing them in a secondhand experience with the God who loved all with equality. Of course I was encouraged to hear young people interpret biblical truth as I had seen it done and had done myself growing up in the African American community. A loving acceptance and a sense of equality and oneness was very powerful in my community, when it was so blatantly denied us by the dominant culture. Lynn, our guest student, realized in our settings that she was fully accepted and included as one of us, even though she had just come that evening. As we were preparing to end the evening with our closing prayer, Lynn asked if she could say something. Yes, everyone chimed. She told us she had rejected Christianity because she had never been treated as she was that evening. Her impression of Christianity was that it was not a loving, accepting and equality-oriented religion. She thanked us for permitting her to share with us. Lynn said, “I’m lesbian and the church never demonstrated that God loves me or that I was equal with other Christians.” We closed with fervent prayer. “God works in mysterious ways.” This experience cemented my understanding that God’s truth, love and purposes go beyond our limited understanding. How great is God’s love for one individual to lead her to our study that particular evening. Is there any doubt that God’s ways are not our ways? Is there any doubt that God cares about us as individuals? Is there any doubt that God will go to whatever length it takes to help us experience divine love? What a great God is our God! Truly God works in mysterious ways. Isaiah Jones is a campus minister/director of United Campus Ministry at Oregon State University and teaches in the music department as well. Many of his hymns and songs are in various denominational hymnbooks. He has ser ved as worship leader at the Presbyterian General Assembly, Youth Triennium, and the Montreat Conference Center. Campus Winter 1999 19 Boxes were still stacked in the living room of the parsonage when I heard about Jane.1 “She has brain cancer,” I was told. By the time I started unpacking the kitchen, I knew that Jane was very ill and not likely to live more than a few months. She and Beth, members of this church which had just called me fresh out of divinity school, were a couple— a lesbian couple. Their two story Victorian home commanded a corner on a quiet Long Island village street lined with maple trees. Beth greeted me warmly. Smiling from large brown eyes full of pain, she invited me in. Before I met Jane, Beth wanted me to see their home. “Come upstairs,” she said. “I want to show you something.” She led me into Jane’s study, where the walls announced Jane’s accomplishments as a playwright and novelist. “Before you see her as she is now,” she said, gesturing toward a closeup of Jane, “I want you to see what she was.” My eyes surveyed the proud gallery of awards and triumphs before focusing on a photograph of Jane and Beth arm in arm on the beach, pausing to let the camera in on their mutual enjoyment of a summer day. “How long have you been together?” I asked. Her voice cracked and tears rimmed her eyes. “Fourteen years.” I visited with Beth and Jane almost every week for five months before Jane died. Since Jane was a significant playwright, her obituary was written up in The New York Times. It included a long list of literary honors and awards. Then at the end it said, “She leaves her mother, Clarice, of Florida and two brothers, Henry and Ben.” Period. It mentioned earlier that she had shared a house with her long-time companion and manager, Beth. Love in the Open Strengthening Families by Our Welcome Sara Moores Campbell From the Introduction to Last Summer at Bluefish Cove, in which the character Lil faces a terminal illness with the help of her family of lesbian friends, a situation playwright Jane Chambers faced herself five years after writing the play: Perhaps the most interesting thing in this strange situation where life seems to be imitating art is that I discovered Lil’s responses were not fiction...that without the support of…my gay family—the real women of Bluefish Cove—I could not have dealt with this or borne it. It is being surrounded by the recognition of who you are, what you’ve done and the absolute acceptance of the goodness of those things that feed one’s own strength to fight for one’s life, and that reassures one that life, whatever its length, has meaning and effect. Life is not a crap shoot; it is what we who love each other do together, and that is, in itself, sufficient meaning. —Jane Chambers, December 1981 1 Jane Chambers, best known for the play, Last Summer at Bluefish Cove. 20 Open Hands How long? Fourteen years. And if Jane had not died at the age of 45, it would have been many more. Longtime companions. House-mates. Survived by her mother, with whom she was only reconciled toward the end, and by her brothers, who did not show up for her last year of living or honor her with attendance at her funeral. A journalist interviewed Beth after Jane’s death. Beth mentioned that she had received support from two women ministers in their small town; she was speaking of me and a Methodist minister who was Jane’s therapist. “Both of them went to the funeral home with me,” said Beth. “The director, who knew we were lovers, had to ask a series of questions, including ‘Was she ever married?’ I said no, and both ministers, together, insisted, ‘Oh yes, she was.’” The journalist who interviewed Beth quoted her: “At Jane’s funeral there were an awful lot of straight people. There were the people who owned the hardware store and the Laundromat, all the small town folks whom Jane and I had educated. We both believed in gently being ourselves and thereby teaching people.” I was one of their students. In my five months of weekly visits in their home, I witnessed Beth’s incredible devotion to Jane, whose tumor progressively ravaged her brilliant mind and broke her dynamic spirit. I met their extended family of gay and lesbian friends who visited or relieved Beth when she needed some time away. I met Jane’s mother, who reconciled with Jane after years of alienation. After I conducted Jane’s memorial service the mail started coming in. I have never received so many letters of gratitude from strangers. Letters came from members of the gay and lesbian community who said that they had never before experienced in a church the sense of dignity that they felt at that service. Most of them enclosed generous contributions to the church—because they wanted to say thank you for the open recognition of love and commitment between two women. One of Jane’s friends, Jere, joined the church immediately, and became active. She was an actor, and she enjoyed The Lost Coin “What woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’” —Jesus, Luke 15:8-9 working with the children on special projects. She remarked on one occasion that it was nice to be in a church where parents didn’t snatch their children away when she walked into a room. Quite the contrary, Jere was and is one of the most loved and respected leaders in that congregation. So when she and Anne came to me and said they would like to plan a union ceremony in the church, I rejoiced with them and we started planning. Our denomination had passed a resolution in support of ministers who performed union ceremonies for gay couples. After my move to a congregation in Santa Barbara, I was reminded of Beth and Jane— and of so many other gay or Winter 1999 21 lesbian couples I have known in congregations I’ve served—as I read the slogan for the conservative group promoting the passage of a bill to outlaw gay marriages in the state: “What strengthens families strengthens California.” I could not agree more. What strengthens families? Love, for one thing. And acceptance. I have seen many families weakened by rejection of gay sons or lesbian daughters. I have seen families strengthened by acceptance of them. What strengthens families? Openness, honesty. But how many gay and lesbian couples do you know who can bring their beloved life companions home for Thanksgiving dinner? What strengthens families? Devotion to children. In the congregation I serve, there are at least four families of children with same-gender parents. Their children are loved and nurtured by parents who have given themselves to one another and to their children with every bit as much commitment as any heterosexual couple. More families have been destroyed by rejection of gay members than by exposure to gay love. More families have been rendered dysfunctional by secrecy than by openness. More children have been taught to hate by the example of rejection than by the example of acceptance. There is a cultural conspiracy against the truth and it corrupts families. “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Live a lie, they are advised. And all of this is true of congregational families as well as biological families. I would not ask everyone to be comfortable with same-sex marriages and families. In fact, I would encourage some open conversation about the discomfort which everyone has at some level. But I would ask this: How would you feel if you had to pretend you were single when you weren’t? How would you feel if, after fourteen years of marriage and a year of caring for a dying spouse, you were left out of the obituary? How does someone else’s vow to love another in sickness or in health hurt you or anyone else? In a world where children are neglected and abused, why would you want to deprive The Body of Christ Stretches to be Inclusive Craig A. Buxton What does it mean to be part of a [church] community? What does that kind of fellowship look like? Peter says, “Above everything else, love each other deeply, because love covers over many sins.” How do we love each other— deeply, earnestly? The Greek word translated deeply means “to stretch out, to extend.” It was used to describe a horse made to go at full gallop. Think of an athlete straining to meet the goal. Christian love is something we have to work at— it’s not a matter of emotional feeling but of dedicated will. To love deeply suggests intensity, exerting one’s powers to their full extent. Practicing that kind of love for one another matters more than anything else among Christians. Remember the words of our Lord Jesus? “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Evangelism committees and council on ministries committees can try to come up with all kinds of strategies and programs; but the most effective ones will be those that empower us to begin to practice loving each other— deeply, earnestly. From a sermon entitled Church Alive: Belonging, Caring, Serving reflecting on 1 Peter 4:8-11. a child of parents who will offer love and nurture? Since that day in February of 1983 when I buried Jane, I have been invited into the lives of gay couples facing the horror of AIDS, and gay and lesbian couples going through the trauma of separation after years of committed relationships. Their experience is no different from that of anyone else who suffers the pain of grief or loss, except for one thing: they are deprived of the larger community’s acknowledgment and support. Likewise, I have performed union ceremonies for same-sex couples, always aware that these rites, while receiving the sanction of the Unitarian Universalist tradition, are not acknowledged by the state. In our congregations we are in a position to be part of the educating process. First, by recognizing our prejudices, our discomforts, our fears. And then by asking ourselves: Is this a place where we recognize that at least some of our members are gay? Is this a place where visiting lesbians and gay men feel welcome? Do we assume that a couples group will be all heterosexual couples, or a singles group all heterosexual singles? Would two men or two women feel comfortable dancing together at a congregational dance, or holding one another’s hands during a prayer in worship? May our welcoming voices be heard—in our state capitals, in Washington, D.C., in our own communities, and in our congregational life—in support of family values: family values not just for men and women who choose to love each other, but for women who love women, and for men who love men. Sara Moores Campbell is senior minister of The Unitarian Society of Santa Barbara, California. 22 Open Hands & ### 4 3 .. ’’’ A ’’’ D ’’’ A ’’’ D oe oe oe oe A 1. Jane 2. Bob 3. 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Permission granted for nonprofit use in worship. For other permission contact Amanda Udis-Kessler P.O. Box 1814, Cambridge MA 02238 Winter 1999 23 & ## # % oe oe oe A WHO IS oe oe oe oe O - PEN- ING oe oe oe oe E DOORS ALL THE TIME oe j oe oe j oe IN OUR HEARTS oe oe oe oe D AND OUR MINDS & ## # oe oe oe oe F# m AND OUR SOULS oe oe oe oe E CAN BE HEARD oe oe oe TO SAY oe oe oe oe A LOVE ONE A- NOTH - J oe oe j oe oe ER AS & ## # J oe oe oe J oe E I HAVE LOVED YOU oe oe oe FOR MY j oe oe j oe oe oe F# m LOVE IS THE GRACE oe oe oe oe D AT THE HEART oe oe oe oe A OF THE WORD. & ## # ˙ oe oe E IN YOUR oe oe oe oe C# WORD WE A - BIDE, ˙ oe oe F# m IN YOUR oe oe oe oe E LOVE WE RE- MAIN oe oe oe oe A BUT THE DOORS & ## # oe oe oe oe C# CLOSED A - ROUND oe oe oe oe F# m US CAUSE AN - oe oe oe oe E GUISH AND PAIN oe oe oe oe D SO BE - FORE & ## # oe oe oe oe A THEM WE STAND, ˙ oe oe E HUM - BLE oe oe oe oe F# m HEARTS AND STRONG HANDS oe oe oe oe C# m WITH THE HO - & ## # oe oe oe oe D LY DE - MAND oe oe oe oe A THAT THEY OP - oe ˙ C# m EN, oe oe oe oe D OP - EN, TILL oe oe oe oe ALL OF GOD’S & ## # .. oe oe oe oe E CHILD - REN ARE WEL - To Coda j oe oe . oe A D COME, ˙ . A 3. D.S. al Coda OE oe oe oe AND THE ONE & fi## # Coda oe oe rit. oe oe ALL OF GOD’S oe oe oe oe E CHILD - REN ARE WEL - j oe oe . oe A D COME. ˙ . U A 1.,2. Bm q (for) Bm —A Gift for the Altar— 24 Open Hands Movement News 95 Methodist Clergy Bless Same-Sex Union Ninety-five clergy from the California-Nevada Conference of the United Methodist Church co-officiated in the blessing of the relationship of two female conference leaders on January 16, challenging the denominational policy banning samesex unions. More than 1,200 persons gathered at the Sacramento Convention Center to celebrate the committed relationship of Jeanne Barnett and Ellie Charlton. The mood was exuberant. A choir of over 100 voices sang before the service. Jim and Jean Strathdee led the gathering in singing, and Bethany UMC member Randy Miller preached a brief, stirring sermon about these “radical” grandmothers from Sacramento. The backdrop featured the logo of the Reconciling Congregations Program and banners representing the Reconciling Congregations in the conference. With the co-officiating clergy and lay representatives from each Reconciling Congregation gathered behind the couple, presiding pastor Don Fado remarked that, if charges were to be filed against these clergy, it would be for these words of blessing: “O God, our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer, we bow before you to ask your blessing upon Ellie and Jeanne, whom we now bless in your name. Their commitment to one another grows out of their commitment to you, whose love is revealed through Jesus Christ. We pray for you to guide and strengthen them, that they remain open to your spirit and continue to grow in love. We thank you for Jeanne and Ellie’s love and faith which they so readily share with us. We recognize in this service the place of family, friends, church, and the entire human family; we are able to love because you first loved us. O God, our maker, we gladly proclaim to the world that Jeanne and Ellie are loving partners together for life. Amen.” Charges are pending against some of the clergy who participated. In a related development in the Northern Illinois conference, a March church trial is anticipated for Broadway UMC pastor Greg Dell for conducting a service of blessing for two men last September. –Mark Bowman Welcoming Movement Spreads to the UK The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement (LGCM) of the United Kingdom has sought to develop a Welcoming Congregations Project. A congregational resource packet was prepared, drawing heavily on RCP, ONA, and “Claiming the Promise” material, as well as a World Council of Churches resource. Four introductory meetings were held in London in 1998, with a total attendance of 80 people and the purchase of 32 packets. In August a small group met to consider nomenclature, criteria, and future plans. Decisions on criteria for becoming welcoming were quite tricky because LGCM is working ecumenically and needs to provide and allow for many differing authority structures, etc. It was agreed to use the title INCLUSIVE Congregations with a rainbow logo. It was felt that INCLUSIVE represents a theological understanding of the nature of God, as compared with the words Welcoming or Affirming which tend to suggest human activity. Five regional half-day conferences are booked for 1999 in Newcastle, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol and Cambridge, a wide English coverage, and information on INCLUSIVE Congregations and the offer of a speaker has been circulated nationwide to County Ecumenical Officers. The first congregation (Anglican) has just applied for listing as INCLUSIVE! – Janet Webber, INCLUSIVE Congregations Project voluntary worker UCC’s Sherry Challenges the WCC On December 14, despite an impassioned plea from United Church of Christ USA President Paul Sherry that met with sustained applause, the World Council of Churches meeting in Harare, Zimbabwe, approved a Human Rights document which fails to specify l/g/b people as in need of protection. Sherry, who in November wrote a pastoral letter to all UCC churches urging them to welcome g/l/b people, said in part, “A year ago, Amnesty International documented scores of instances in countries all over the globe in which individuals are being targeted for imprisonment, torture and murder simply on the grounds of their sexual orientation. In my own country, but a few weeks ago, a young college student was brutally beaten and hung on a fence to die, simply because he was gay. “The silence, in the midst of this ugliness, is deafening. I urge us all to break the silence.…I urge us all to speak and act on behalf of God’s children in pain so that justice may be pursued, wholeness restored, and the integrity of the Gospel preserved.” The WCC did pass a proposed program for the next seven years which includes a study on human sexuality, declaring, “...the issue of human sexuality has emerged as an important issue which faces the churches. It is clear that issues surrounding the understanding of human sexuality have divided and continue to divide some churches. An ecumenical approach to issues of human sexuality would need…to explore the issues while creating and deepening mutual trust.” L/G/B people were well represented at WCC’s Padare, or marketplace of ideas, by representatives of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches and many denominational groups from around the world. – Robert C. Lodwick Ecumenical Conference Staff Position Applications are now being accepted for a Conference Coordinator for the ecumenical gathering of Welcoming Churches which will be August 3-6, 2000, at the University of Northern Illinois outside Chicago. This full-time, temporary position will begin in late summer 1999 and continue through the conference. The staff person will work directly with the conference coordinating committee and will support volunteer task groups in carrying out fund raising, promotion, program planning and other tasks for this event. The staff person is expected to provide own office space. If interested, send resume and letter to Mark Bowman at RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641; fax: 773/736-5475. Equal Opportunity Employer. Winter 1999 25 Welcoming Communities UPCOMING GATHERINGS March 19-21 Eighth Annual National Conference for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Seminarians and Their Allies: “Common Pain, Common Hope” at Chicago Theological Seminary and Meadville-Lombard Theological School in Chicago. Contact Michael Cooper (m-cooper@mindspring.com), Tanya Denley (TDenley @juno.com), Marilyn Nash (mnash100@aol.com), or Ken Stone (kstone@chgosem.edu). April 15-18 Affirm United Annual Conference and AGM. An exciting conference of worship, inspiration, organising and strategizing in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Theme speakers will include Darryl MacDonald, the Presbyterian minister from Montreal who has been barred from ordination and Alyson Huntley, the author of Daring to be United. For information contact Ken Delisle at 204-772-4322; or acpucc@aol.com May 21-23 More Light Presbyterians Annual Conference: “Before Us an Open Door” (interpreting Revelation 3:8) at Oklahoma City University in Oklahoma City. Keynoters are Scott Anderson and Tony de la Rosa. Workshops ranging from spirituality to organizing. Contact John McNeese: 405/848-2819 or john33@ix.netcom.com June 25-27 Supportive Congregations Network (Brethren-Mennonite): “Leading the Dance: Living the Church Re- Imagined” at Plymouth UCC in Milwaukee. Contact Ralph McFadden at 303/936-7734; Hikermac@aol.com June 28-July 1 UCC Coalition for LGBT Concerns National Gathering: “A Love Worth Risking For/The Challenge and Opportunity of Our Time” (based on the biblical narrative of Esther) at Brown University, Providence, RI. 4 p.m., June 28-Noon, July 1. Worship, movement, conversation, music, fun! (Pre-Gathering events: People of Color Institute and White People Working Against Racism, June 28, 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m.) For more information/registration contact: John Lardin 734/753-4808 or email: JWLARDIN@aol.com RECONCILING IN CHRIST Lutheran Church of Christ the Redeemer Minneapolis, Minnesota In the Twin Cities there is an active support group of Lutheran parents and friends of gay and lesbian people. One of the leaders of this group presented the idea of becoming a Reconciling in Christ congregation to her church council meeting in October 1997. Over the next several months, Pastor Donald Luther held a series of five Bible studies for the Church Council. There were four educational forums open to the entire congregation as well. A group of five people were appointed by the church council to draft an affirmation to be presented at a congregational meeting. After eight months of discussion and information, the congregation voted on a statement of welcome. It passed by a margin of 63 to 3. Christ the Redeemer is the tenth Lutheran congregation in the Minneapolis/St. Paul metro area to become Reconciling in Christ. OPEN & AFFIRMING MINISTRIES First Christian Church Boulder, Colorado Established in 1878, First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) has always valued independent thinking and encouraged its members to participate in those activities that bring justice to the larger community. Once its present building was erected, one of the first ministries undertaken was the creation of a low income senior adult facility near the church. On November 8, 1998 the congregation continued that tradition and voted to identify itself as an Open & Affirming congregation. Pastor Terry Zimmerman affirms, “Our decision to become ‘officially’ O&A brings new opportunities and challenges to our members, but if our future is anything like our past, we have many wonderful, creative, fulfilling and purposeful days ahead of us!” As leaders of the Open & Affirming Task Force, the Rev. Glenn Johnson, a retired pastor, and his wife, Louise, were a strong impetus behind this achievement. First Christian Church San Mateo, California First Christian Church voted to become Open &Affirming in January of 1991, during the pastorate of Rev. Herb Leslie. Organized in June of 1957, the congregation was deeply committed to building bridges of understanding and acceptance between people who represented a wide variety of beliefs and positions on controversial social issues during the 1960s and 1970s. Today the congregation is involved in a ministry in San Mateo County which provides food for persons with AIDS. The present pastor is Rev. Ron Frazier. MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW! WELCOME 2000 Mass Ecumenical Gathering of Welcoming Congregations Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, Illinois August 3-6, 2000 DON’T MISS THIS HISTORIC EVENT! Sponsored by: • Affirming Congregations (United Church of Canada) • Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists • More Light Presbyterians • Open & Affirming Ministries (Disciples of Christ) • Open and Affirming Program (UCC) • Reconciling Congregations (United Methodist) • Reconciling in Christ Churches (Lutheran) • Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite) 26 Open Hands Welcoming Resources ECUMENICAL Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality. Mary Jo Osterman. Chicago: Reconciling Congregations Program, 1997. Study book ($5.95) and Leader’s Guide ($9.95) plus 15% shipping. Available from RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Ave., Chicago, IL 60641. 773/726-5526. With Love, monthly newsletter of an ecumenical ministry assisting individuals and congregations create welcoming communities, edited by Alice G. Knotts. No subscription fee, donations gratefully accepted. Send name, address, phone, and e-mail to With Love, 710 N. Mountain Avenue, Ashland, OR 97520. 541/488-2770. TV spots for outreach to the g/l community now available: Two 30-second commercials for use by Christian congregations and groups with a specific outreach to the g/l community, prepared by Word of Life Ministries of New Orleans. Former Second Stone editor Jim Bailey is administrator. For information packet, e-mail Word of Life at tv4gayxian@aol.com MORE LIGHT PRESBYTERIANS Order from: Dick Lundy, 5525 Timber Lane, Excelsior MN 55331; 612/470-0093; e-mail: dick_lundy.parti@ecunet.org Checks payable to MLP. Price includes postage. More Light Resource Packet. Includes More Light brochure (with history, list of welcoming churches, and how to become More Light), Mission Statement, Annual Report, “How to” ideas for developing More Light ministry in the congregation, sample More Light statements, where to find excellent video and print materials, and much more. $18.00. Brochure available separately for free. Keeping the Flame Alive, 20 suggestions for your welcoming congregation. Free; copy or internet. OPEN AND AFFIRMING Order from: ONA Resources, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520- 0403. Checks payable to “The Coalition.” Price includes postage. And So We Speak. ONA’s newest resource is a collection of 30 openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual UCC clergy and four seminarians describing experiences and offering reflections about being closeted and “out” in ministry, seeking a pastoral call, spirituality, and much more. Lay persons offer perspectives on having openly gay or lesbian pastors serving their congregations. $16. OK! We’re ONA. Now What? An ONA Idea Book. Ideas from congregations across the country about living out an ONA commitment. $8.00 Blessing Ceremonies: Resources for Same-Gender Services of Commitment. Materials include theological background, sample services, liturgical resources, and personal accounts of those who have been part of such services. $12.50 RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM Order from: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641; 773/726-5526. Add 15% postage. Enfold: A Reconciling Congregation Explores What it Means to Welcome all People. Forty members of Bethany United Methodist Church in San Francisco explain why it’s important to be part of a Reconciling Congregation. $10. Still on the Journey: A Handbook for Reconciling Congregations in Ministry with Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Gay Men. Practical ideas and plans for ministries with lesbian, gay and bisexual persons and for witnessing about the welcoming church movement. 54pp. $15. RECONCILING IN CHRIST PROGRAM Prices include shipping. Reconciling in Christ Information Packet. Background information and advice, brochures for RIC Program, Lutherans Concerned, and Open Hands; relevant material and resource list. Free. Order from: Bob Gibeling, 2466 Sharondale Dr., Atlanta, GA 30305; 404/266-9615. Multiple brochures only @ 10¢ from Lutherans Concerned InfoX, address below. This Is My Story. Video produced by Lutherans Concerned featuring personal stories of gay and lesbian Christians and their journeys of reconciliation. Two versions, one for an individual who needs to hear hopeful words and the other for a congregation which needs more understanding. 22 minutes. $15. Specify which version and order from: Lutherans Concerned InfoX, 409 Roland Hills Dr. Mogadore, OH 44260; or by e-mail: InfoX@lcna.org Inclusive Faith. Video for congregations considering the Reconciling in Christ program. Features former ELCA Presiding Bishop Herbert Chilstrom and Rev. Mel White, former ghostwriter for conservative Christian leaders. $15. Order from: (see directly above). WELCOME & AFFIRMING BAPTISTS Order from Brenda J. Moulton, P.O. Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763; 508/226-1945. Does It Matter? A Study Discussion Guide on Homosexuality and Faith for American Baptists, by Rev. Timothy Phillips. $10. Pastor, I Am Gay by Howard Bess. The story of an American Baptist pastor who grapples with homosexuality after a church member tells him he’s gay. $15. SUPPORTIVE CONGREGATIONS NETWORK Body of Dissent: Lesbian and Gay Mennonites and Brethren Continue the Journey. Video stories of l/g/b Mennonites and Brethren. Provides a basis for dialogue on how the church weaves its Anabaptist history of nonconformity and its call to justice with the divisiveness surrounding homosexuality. 39 minutes. $30, includes study guide and shipping. Order from: Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406-0300; 612/722-6906; e-mail: BMCouncil@aol.com Winter 1999 27 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, 867 local churches, 45 campus ministries, 31 judicatories, and four national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including lesbian women and gay men. These 943* welcoming communities are found in ten denominations in 46 states and the District of Columbia of the United States and in five provinces of Canada. The complete list (as of January 15, 1999) follows. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes: CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage Immanuel Presbyterian (ML) UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Mesa Celebration of Life Presbyterian (ML) Phoenix Asbury UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Faith Lutheran (RIC) Tucson Church of the Painted Hills (ONA) First Christian (O&A) Rincon Congregational UCC (ONA) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Campbell First UMC (RC) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) Chatsworth West Valley UMC (RC) Chico Congregational Church (ONA) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) Davis Davis UMC (RC) El Cerrito Christ Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito UMC (RC) Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Northminster Presbyterian (ML) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno First Congregational (ONA) Wesley UMC (RC) Fullerton Fullerton Congregational (ONA) Gardena First UMC (RC) Guerneville Community Church, UCC (ONA) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) New Fellowship UCC (ONA) United Church (ONA) Westminster Hills Presbyterian (ML) Hollywood Hollywood UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Kensington Arlington Community UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) La Verne Church of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Alamitos Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Los Angeles Bethel Lutheran (RIC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Westwood Hills Congregational (ONA) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Napa Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Beacon Presbyterian Fellowship (ML) Faith American Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Portola Valley Ladera Community Church (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) Unitarian Universalist Society (WEL) San Bernardino First Congregational Church, UCC (ONA) San Bruno Peace Lutheran (RIC) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Church Lutheran (RIC) Church of the Advent (OAS) Church of St. John the Evangelist (OAS) City of Refuge (ONA) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Aidan’s Church (OAS) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John the Evangelist Episcopal (OAS) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity Church (OAS) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (ONA, W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) TOTAL AC Affirming Congregation Programme (United Church of Canada) .... 11 ML More Light Presbyterians ................................................................... 93 OAS Oasis (Episcopal) ................................................................................ 52 ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) ............................. 260 O&A Open & Affirming (Disciples) ............................................................ 37 RIC Reconciling in Christ (Lutheran) ..................................................... 164 RC Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist) ................. 178 SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) ..................................................... 21 W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) ..................................... 33 WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) ................................................ 107 *This total is lower than the sum of the numbers listed on the right because some welcoming communities are multiply designated and affiliated with more than one denomination. 28 Open Hands San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo Chalice Christian Church (O&A) College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa Christ UMC (RC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fellowship of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Sebastopol Community Church (ONA) Simi Valley United Church of Christ (ONA) Stockton First Christian (O&A) St. Mark’s UMC (RC) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Sunol Little Brown Church (ONA) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Covina Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran (RIC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Boulder Mennonite (SCN) Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Mount Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) Fireside Christian (O&A) First Universalist (WEL) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas Lutheran Chapel (RIC) Greeley Family of Christ Presbyterian (ML) Pueblo Christ Congregational, UCC (ONA) Telluride Christ Presbyterian (ML) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Ellington First Lutheran (RIC) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Guilford First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hamden Spring Glen Church, UCC (ONA) U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Uncasville Uncasville UMC (RC) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Lutheran Church of the Reformation (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater UU Church of Clearwater (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Lake Mary Grace UMC (RC) Miami Beach Miami Beach Community (ONA) Riviera Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) North Palm Beach First Unitarian (WEL) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan Presbyterian (ML, ONA) St. Petersburg Lakewood UCC (ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Athens Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) Ormewood Park Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) Marietta Pilgrimage UCC (ONA) HAWAI‘I Honolulu Calvary By the Sea Lutheran (RIC) Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) Kalaupapa Kanaana Hou-Siloama, UCC (ONA) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Berry Memorial UMC (RC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Epworth UMC (RC) First UMC (RC) Gladstone Park Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Park View Lutheran (RIC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Luke’s Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Hazel Crest Hazel Crest Community UMC (RC) Jacksonville Congregational Church, UCC (ONA) Naperville First Congregational Church (ONA) Normal New Covenant Community (ML, ONA, O&A) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) First United Church (ML, ONA) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Oak Park Mennonite (SCN) Pilgrim Church (ONA) Park Forest UU Community (WEL) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Streamwood Immanuel UCC (ONA) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wheaton St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community UMC (RC) Winter 1999 29 INDIANA Bloomington St. Thomas Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Goshen Circle of Hope Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) Indianapolis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) North Manchester Manchester Church of the Brethren (SCN) South Bend Central UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Peoples Church UU (WEL) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines Cottage Grove Avenue Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City Rainbow Mennonite (SCN) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Third Lutheran (RIC) Mount Prospect Grace and Glory Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Bath UCC, Congregational (ONA) Camden John Street UMC (RC) Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Mt. Desert Somesville Union Meeting House (ONA) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) Waterville Universalist Unitarian (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Brown Memorial Park Ave. Pres. (ML) Dundalk Church of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) Govans Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Christ UMC (RC) Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Congregational UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Acton St. Matthew’s UMC (RC) Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ML, ONA) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Park Street Baptist (W&A) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham First Parish Old Ship (WEL) Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Lincoln The First Parish in Lincoln (ONA) Marblehead St. Stephen’s UMC (RC) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Needham First Parish UU (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational UCC (ONA) First Parish Society (WEL) People’s UMC (RC) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton First Church of Christ (ONA) Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Penbroke First Church in Penbroke (ONA) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury United Community Church (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Somerville Clarenden Hill Presbyterian (ML) South Hadley UMC of Holyoke, S. Hadley, & Granby Springfield First Ch. of Christ Congregational (ONA) Stowe First Parish Ch. of Stowe & Acton (WEL) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Memorial Congregational UCC (ONA) Waltham First Presbyterian (ML) Wayland First Parish of Wayland (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) West Somerville College Avenue UMC (RC) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester Bethany Christian United Parish (W&A, ONA, O&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Amistad Community Church, UCC (ONA) Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Edgewood United Church (ONA) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Ferndale Zion Lutheran (RIC) Grand Rapids Plymouth Congregational, UCC (ONA) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Church of the Brethren (SCN) Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) Lansing Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southfield Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Williamston Williamston UMC (RC) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Becker Becker UMC (RC) Burnsville Presbyterian Church of the Apostles (ML) Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis Christ the Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Hobart UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Lynnhurst Congregational (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Minnehaha UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Parkway UCC (ONA) Praxis (RC) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud St. Cloud UU Fellwoship (WEL) Univ. Lutheran of the Epiphany (RIC) 30 Open Hands St. Paul Cherokee Park United (ML, ONA) Dayton Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Macalester-Plymouth United (ML, ONA) St. Anthony Park UCC St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Country Club Congregational (ONA) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. James Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) Tyler Place Presbyterian (ML) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Billings First Congregational UCC (ONA) Butte United Congregational Church (ONA) Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Lincoln Unitarian Church (WEL) Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) Reconciling Worship Community (RC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Concord South Congregational, UCC (ONA) Exeter Congregational (ONA) Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist Congregation (WEL) Pelham First Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Sanbornton Sanbornton Congregational UCC (ONA) NEW JERSEY Belvedere St. Mary’s Episcopal (OAS) Bloomfield Christ Episcopal (OAS) Boonton St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Chatham St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Chester Church of the Messiah Episcopal (OAS) Clifton St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Denville Church of Our Saviour Episcopal (OAS) East Brunswick East Brunswick Cong. UCC (ONA) Englewood St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Exeter Congregational Church (ONA) Fort Lee Church of the Good Shepherd (OAS) Hackensack Christ Episcopal (OAS) Hackettstown St. James’ Episcopal (OAS) Harrington Park St. Andrew’s Episcopal (OAS) Hasbrouck Heights Church of St. John the Divine (OAS) Haworth St. Luke’s Episcopal (OAS) Hawthorne St. Clement’s Episcopal (OAS) Hoboken All Saints Parish (OAS) Jersey City Grace Van Vorst Episcopal (OAS) St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Kearny Trinity Episcopal (OAS) Leonia All Saints Episcopal (OAS) Madison Grace Episcopal (OAS) Maplewood St. George’s Episcopal (OAS) Mendham St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Millburn St. Stephen’s Episcopal (OAS) Montclair St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) St. Luke’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian (WEL) Montvale St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Morristown Church of the Redeemer (OAS) St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Mt. Arlington St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) New Brunswick Emanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Cathedral of Trinity and St. Philip (OAS) Grace Episcopal (OAS) Norwood Church of the Holy Communion (OAS) Oakland St. Alban’s Episcopal (OAS) Parsippany St. Gregory’s Episcopal (OAS) Passaic St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Paterson St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) Pompton Lakes Christ Church (OAS) Princeton Christ Congregation (ONA, W&A) Ridgewood Christ Episcopal (OAS) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Sparta St. Mary’s Episcopal (OAS) Summit Calvary Episcopal (OAS) Teaneck St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Tenafly Church of the Atonement (OAS) Towaco Church of the Transfiguration (OAS) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) Upper Montclair St. James’ Episcopal (OAS) Verona Holy Spirit Episcopal (OAS) Wantage Good Shepherd Episcopal (OAS) NEW MEXICO Albuquerque First Unitarian (WEL) Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) First Presbyterian (ML) Binghamton Centenary-Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Blooming Grove Blooming Grove UCC (ONA) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unitarian Cong. Society (WEL) King’s Highway UMC (RC) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Buffalo Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Copake Craryville UMC (RC) Cortland United Community Church (W&A, ONA) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Fairport Mountain Rise UCC (ONA) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Ithaca First Baptist (W&A) First Baptist Church (W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York City Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Paul & St. Andrew UMC (RC) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Plattsburgh Plattsburgh UMC (RC) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown United Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Slatehill Grace UMC of Ridgebury (RC) Slingerlands Community UMC (RC) Snyder Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Syracuse Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Winter 1999 31 Troy First United Presbyterian (ML) Utica Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) Olin T. Binkley Memorial Baptist (W&A) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) NORTH DAKOTA Fargo St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Clifton UMC (RC) Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Euclid Ave. Congregational UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Simpson UMC (RC) West Shore UU (WEL) Zion UCC (ONA) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) North Congregational UCC (ONA) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Lutheran (RIC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Cross Creek Community (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Miami Valley Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Lakewood Cove UMC (RC) Parkwood Congregational, UCC (ONA) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Oklahoma City Church of the Open Arms, UCC (ONA) Epworth UMC (RC) Tulsa Fellowship Congregational, UCC (ONA) UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ, Cong. (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Congregational Church (ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) Eugene First Congregational, UCC (ONA) Unitarian of Eugene & Lane Co. (WEL) Forest Grove Forest Grove UCC (ONA) Gresham Zion UCC (ONA) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland Ainsworth UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Presbyterian (ML) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Allentown Muhlenberg College Chapel (RIC) St. John Lutheran (RIC) Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Lewisburg Beaver Memorial UMC (RC) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First Germantown Mennonite (SCN) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Holy Communion Lutheran (RIC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Pittsburgh First Unitarian (WEL) Sixth Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew Lutheran (RIC) Upper Darby Christ Lutheran (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) Providence Mathewson Street UMC (RC) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Chattanooga Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) Hobson UMC (RC) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU Church (WEL) St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) College Station Friends Congregational (ONA) Corpus Christi St. Paul UCC (ONA) Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Northaven UMC (RC) El Paso St. Timothy Lutheran (RIC) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Faith Covenant (ML, ONA) First Congregational (ONA) Grace Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Lubbock St. John’s UMC (RC) Mesquite St. Stephen UMC (RC) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) San Antonio Spirit of Life (RIC) UTAH Salt Lake City Mount Tabor Lutheran (RIC) South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Putney United Church (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) Thetford First Congregational Church (ONA) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Clarendon Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Church (WEL) Charlottesville Sojourners UCC (ONA) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) Roanoke Unitarian Universalist (WEL) WASHINGTON Bellevue Eastgate Congregational UCC (ONA) First Congregational, UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Carnation Tolt Congregational, UCC (ONA) Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) Edmonds Edmonds UU (WEL) Ellensburg First UMC (RC) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Fauntleroy UCC (ONA) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) Magnolia UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) University Temple UMC (RC) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Congregational (ONA) Vancouver East Vancouver UMC (RC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Delavan Delavan UMC (RC) Eau Claire University Lutheran (RIC) Madison Advent Lutheran (RIC) Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) James Reeb UU Congregation (WEL) Lake Edge Lutheran (RIC) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Cross Lutheran (RIC) Pentecost Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) Waukesha Maple Avenue Mennonite (SCN) CANADA ALBERTA Calgary South Calgary Inter-Mennonite (SCN) Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver First United Church (AC) Trinity United (AC) Unitarian Church (WEL) MANITOBA Winnipeg Augustine United (AC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Young United (AC) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Toronto Bathurst United (AC) Bloor Street United (AC) Glen Rhodes United (AC) Trinity-St. Paul’s United (AC) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) Westminster United (AC) SASKATCHEWAN Regina St. James United (AC) Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) St. Thomas-Wesley United (AC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry LSC=Lutheran Student Center LSM=Lutheran Student Movement UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) UCM, UC, Riverside (RC) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Berkeley (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA, Los Angeles (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) Wesley Foundation, U. of Denver (RC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS Agape House, U. of Illinois, Chicago (RC) Ill. Disciples Fdn., UI, Champaign (O&A) UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) University Christian Ministry, Northwestern, Evanston (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) Stud. Cong., Luther Coll., Decorah (RIC) KANSAS LCM, KSU, Manhattan (RIC) United Methodist CM, UK, Lawrence (RC) KENTUCKY Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (ML Chapter) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A) Wesley Fdn., Central Mich. Univ., Mt. Pleasant (RC) Wesley Fdn., U. of Michigan, Ann Arbor (RC) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA Christ Chapel, Gettysburg College, Gettysburg (RIC) LSC-LCM, Kutztown U, Kutztown (RIC) TENNESSEE Wesley Fdn., Vanderbilt, Nashville (RC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) VIRGINIA Campus Christian Community, MWC, Fredericksburg (RC, RIC) WASHINGTON The Common Ministry, Washington State U., Pullman (RC) LCM, WWU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) UM Fellowship, UPS, Puget Sound (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, UW, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) Wesley Fdn., U. of Wisconsin, Madison (RC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN LSC, LSM, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire New York Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Oregon-Idaho Troy Wisconsin Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Synods, ELCA (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro New York Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania Southern California–West NATIONAL MINISTRIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) Gen’l Commission on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. 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Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with Affirming Congregation Programme, More Light Presbyterians, Open and Affirming Ministries, Open and Affirming Program, Reconciling in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 14 No 3 - Why Be Specific in Our Welcome?