15 20 2500 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/f0bd535c9fb88d08e31d890dfc987ccf.jpg e8877301e00ba4f58f39f40ad8b8022e https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/be2e4c2226545c33baae1524a0643c36.jpg 7d5d21eab9214096d7801248764fff05 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friend June 24, 1960 Towards a Quaker View of Sex--II A Friend writes: "We have no music...we are not cheap...but..." Was this advertisement for a restaurant in a political weekly also applicable to the Society of Friends? This thought was one of many thrown up at a conference at Hampstead Meeting House on June 11 called by the group of Friends who signed the article in The Friend of May 20 on "Towards a Quaker View of Sex". Anna Bidder took the chair, and representatives were present from the Home Service and Marriage and Parenthood Committees, the Friends Guild of Social Workers, Hampstead Monthly Meeting Elders, a group of Friends at Tunbridge Wells and the Homosexual Law Reform Society, the Joint Secretary of which is a Friend.* Other concerned Friends were also present, including a number of psychiatrists. Anna Bidder first described why the group responsible for calling the conference had begun to meet some three years ago, and how over the years it had been led to attempt a fundamental reassessment of Christian morality on sexual matters. Three other members of the group then spoke from their individual standpoints. Alfred Torrie, with thirty years' experience as a psychiatrist behind him, asked what the Quaker answer was to both the homosexual who views his conduct with disgust and loathing, and to those others, differently constituted, who are unwilling to seek help. He stressed the normality of the homosexual phase through which most of us pass, but also disclosed how much uncharted ignorance there was about the subject. Doctors seldom saw the homosexual in the early stages: when he sought medical help he usually was in deep trouble. Knowledge and compassion were both needed. In the homosexual, as in all men, below his self-disgust was the living Christ. That was the Quaker faith. Duncan Fairn followed with some account of his experiences of the morbid side of the problem from seeing men in prison over the last twenty years or so. He described the impact of the law and its differentiation between the conduct of men and women, and referred to the interest arouse by the Report of the Wolfenden Committee. Although members of the group had begun by having a concern for those in acute need, they had been led to seek an understand of sex in life as a whole. It has been said, humorously, that "sex has come to say", and what the group was trying to do was to work out a valid philosophy of sex with the help of their Quaker insights. The last group member to speak was Keith Wedmore, a barrister who spoke for the younger generation. Experience at a university and in the Army had disclosed for him the wide gap between conventional beliefs and practice. He had been forced to ask himself whether our morality was true, right and practicable. With Alfred Torrie he stressed the homosexual and heterosexual components of our nature. It seemed to him important to understand that it was not so much homosexuality itself which was a problem as the lack of heterosexuality. Was it possible that St. Paul was not the last word on sexual morals? In the group they had come to see that personal relationships were of prime importance. "Personal relationships matter for ever and ever." The conference devoted the afternoon session to criticism of a draft outline for a pamphlet designed to help Friends to know the facts about sexual development in general, and to understand some of the special problems of homosexuality. The discussion was opened by Richard Fox, and the criticisms and suggestions were remitted to the convening group as a guide in the final preparation of the document, which it is hoped will be published. Kenneth Barnes brought the conference to a close by emphasising that the work of the group on "Homosexuality and Other Problems of Sex" over the years had been a profound religious exercise, and that they had tried to make themselves available to the Spirit's leading. There had been a deep sharing of experience. Again and again they had found conventional judgments, when ruthlessly examined, to fall short of their understanding of truth. They believed that there was not sexual experience which could be condemned outright without knowledge of its inner quality. Christ's words to the woman in adultery abode for ever: "Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more." _____________ *Venetia Newall Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Report on Hampstead Conference Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of <em>The Friend</em>, June 24, 1960, pp. 892-3. Description An account of the resource The Friend published an account of the June 11 conference at Hampstead Meeting House in its June 24 issue. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/de0346cdf6ed40ddd7d7238205bf0aef.jpg 83b7c061907856d17346fe4695834f23 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/418f87cedd34dfcd20ae2b5a9d5d4447.jpg a5050852240e5984ee1803fcf212e17f https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/e4d929fdd8423456f5659af1328b8dc4.jpg 13eb41f71496bbeb25dc2ca619e796b2 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/58cc834b89db225dc07df346258b7407.jpg 63ef5298d0836392974cb11d1ca5322d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/2c8c5c478b67e7b499b422f2c2d710c6.jpg 77ec16eea52f3d0cd5894aee087886ad https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/fef85681bc31f0c5f3571ab2d8af92a4.jpg d83c381a3bb249393092cbff7cc91125 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friend May 27, 1960 Letters to the Editor Towards a Quaker View of Sex It is most gratifying that a concerned group of qualified Friends should face up to delicate and difficult sexual problems--usually the taboo in religious circles--and issue such an enlightened and courageous statement as appears in your last number. The treatment and punishment meted out to male homosexuals (who are often unable to change their natures any more than the colour of their hair), leading to suicide, blackmail and social ostracism, seem absolutely barbaric, especially when prostitution, adultery, and lesbianism are not regarded as criminal. Moreover, people who are more attracted to their own than the opposite sex are often people of the highest intelligence and moral character and innocent of perverted sexual practices. It is to be hoped that the recommendations of the Wolfenden Report will eventually be implemented. In the meantime it is encouraging to find that the "hush-hush" policy is gradually giving place to a reasoned public ventilation of the problem, and that the Homosexual Law Reform Society--sponsored by over 100 leading people, including the Archbishop of York and a number of Bishops--is doing a valuable service in educating public opinion. Arthur Hadley 40 Oak Hills Gardens Woodford Green, Essex. I am very glad to see in The Friend (May 20) an article on one of the problems of sex, and hope this will be but a beginning. Friends have outspoken views on many social questions, but on sex they at least as reticent as members of any other Church. Indeed the Quaker testimony to the equality of man and woman before God encourages the fallacy that there is "no essential difference" between them, and therefore emotional difficulties cannot arise in relationships between them. Was this attitude sufficient preparation for young people in days of a strong tradition and a closely knit community of Friends? Or is it a twentieth-century invention? In any case, it is not good enough in the condition of today. Advice on conduct and standards can be freely obtained from popular newspapers, magazines and books, but, though often honest enough, they lack the necessary religious basis. We need a frank recognition that emotional problems do arise in the lifelong process of growing up, and an interfusion of Quaker ideals with an understanding of human nature in order to help their solution. Another point. In nearly twenty years of reading THE FRIEND, I remember no article at all on the ethics of birth-control. No doubt individuals needing personal guidance may obtain it from the Marriage and Parenthood Committee, but this is a question for us all, married or single, as citizens of our country and of the world. After immediate issues of peace and war, it is the most vital question of all for inhabitants of this limited planet. This week the Church of Scotland General Assembly is to receive a report and issue an official statement on the subject. If someone asks what Friends' views are, are we to reply: "We never discuss it?" Moreoever, the main--Roman Catholic--opposition to birth-control claims to rest on reverence for life and the holy purposes of marriage. Surely Friends before anyone should look at this claim squarely and honestly, and base a judgment on surer grounds than expediency, however pressing the practical needs of the world situation? There are but two examples of questions which call on Friends to lay aside their unnatural restraint, and treat them as frankly and straightforwardly as they would any other social or human problem. Alison M. Douglas 6 Woodlinn Avenue Glasgow S.4 _________________________________________ Letters to the Editor June 3, 1960 Towards a Quaker View of Sex The report of a Quaker group, "Towards a Quaker View of Sex" in THE FRIEND of May 20 focuses a strong and disturbing tendency in the Society towards humanism. The article is academic, devoid of any vestige of the Christian Gospel and contains no indication that any help has been given to the "young Friends in one of our Universities". It says: "In our discussion of all these problems we could not always follow what has traditionally been regarded as Christian judgment. We have asked ourselves anew what we really think is right or wrong." Paul, in his letter ot the Christians in Rome, condemns the pagan society in which he lived, one of its marks being that men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with me and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error. Is this a part of the Christian judgment that the group could not follow? What what is the competence of a Christian group which does not know what is morally right or wrong? Indeed, in committal to Christ right and wrong is included in a higher quality of life: "Do you know know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you had from God? So glorify God in your body." We are told that masturbation is now known to occur almost universally during adolescence. Masturbation is self-abuse and therefore sin against the temple of the Holy Spirit. All Friends, and Friends' Schools, have a responsibility to instruct adolescents on the physical changes through which they are passing and to seek to win them to obedience to Christ: for it is only through his power that we can, like Paul, say: "I pummel my body and subdue it." The article refers indiscriminately to the world at large and to Friends, i.e., the Christian fellowship. All thoughtful, responsible persons are, of course, concerned with their fellow human beings. The Christian Church's responsibility to deal with homosexuality and the many other vices which beset unredeemed mankind is to communicate the Gospel--the power of God unto salvation. Friends have a special contribution to give to the universal Church, but there is nothing distinctively Quaker about our life in Christ, and only he can illuminate us, cleanse and empower us to live in the Spirit and not in the passions of the body. William Creed Lightfoot Lane, Heswall, Wirral, Cheshire. ________________________________________ Letters to the Editor June 17, 1960 Towards a Quaker View of Sex We thank God that some Friends are filled with a tender concern for those who have succumbed to sexual problems. We whole-heartedly agree with the views they express and welcome their unprejudiced spirit of inquiry. We were sorry to see William Creed's letter (June 3) on the subject. Elsie and Angus Earn.... 13 Sandringham Avenue, Newcastle-upon-Tyne William Creed reveals one of his difficulties by using the phrase "homosexuality and the many other vices which beset unredeemed mankind". The physical expression of love between males, in the form known as "gross indecency," is at present a criminal offence in the country, and it may also be a grievous sin. Homosexuality is but a sexual act, but love between two people of the same sex--which is neither a crime nor a sin. There are many thousands of clean-living men more attracted to those of their own sex than to women. Thinking of such people, ones comes to realise the injustice of the present law and the prevailing social attitude towards the "non-practising" homosexual, forcing him to disguise his feelings for fear or being blackmailed or falsely accused. Does the Gospel of Christ demand that men should live in fear and loneliness? What was meant by the description of one of Jesus's followers as "the disciple whom Jesus loved", if it was not a special relationship that existed between them, differing from the love which Jesus had towards all men and women? Right at the centre of the Gospel of Christ is exactly where I should expect to find an example of the "true love of comrades." William K. Robinson 28 Kingswood Court Brewey Road Walden Surrey. __________________________________________ Letters to the Editor June 24, 1960 Towards a Quaker View of Sex Al parents and teachers need to be aware that to tell a child, or an adolescent, given practising masturbation that this is "self-abuse and therefore sin against the temple of the Holy Spirit", as William Creed (June 3) suggests, might if he were to believe you, cause psychological harm far greater than ever masturbation is likely to do. Masturbation is neither moral nor immoral. It is the sexual act of a solitary and isolated being; what evil there is in it lies in the situation of being isolated and unable to form a satisfactory relationship. With regard to young people, this situation is, to some extent, unavoidable. Unable to form a satisfactory heterosexual relationship safely until long after they are physically mature, who can wonder that masturbation is "know to occur almost universally during adolescence"? Those practising it habitually--more particularly, adults--need drawing into loving friendship, and need reassuring that others care for them in the deepest sense of the word. This seems to me the essential Christian attitude, to be applied to all, including those who sexual activities are not, as the law stands at present, socially acceptable. Where no younger and weaker personality is harmed, and where there is not public scandal, it is not for us or for the law to condemn. Christ did not do so, whatever St. Paul might have felt himself called upon to do. Phyllis Bush 17 Paddock Way Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Letters to The Friend 1960 Description An account of the resource In the weeks that follow the group's May 20 article in <em>The Friend</em>, a number of letters to the editors are published which reflect a great diversity of perspective on the group's concern. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of<em> The Friend</em>, May 27, 1960, pp. 732-33; June 3, 1960, p. 772 ; June 17, 1960, p. 868; June 24, 1960, pp. 897-98 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/beedccc87e0859bbbd34ba460386fb5a.jpg 1112d77fa0f81eb3078bfe2476ddcd84 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ec642954b05c243307a904f1097738fd.jpg dfd9fc91f3f312066393bd032d183c07 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/aea4d4597c4844867b1e7e0972edce44.jpg f4c3510423d20a8381f3f2c4f01b0fb1 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/2b0f31bea6d96279ac2dce2442becd24.jpg d791b8412c21028713476cbe30ec4106 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0e2088957c7c6ccd744b5ac421ad118b.jpg 076942d085051fba5c6091aa91e2a5e4 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friend May 10, 1963 An Elgar-ian Meeting for Sufferings One theory about the Enigma Variations is that Elgar called them so because the theme they are based on is never stated; that is has to be reconstructed by deduction from the heard variations, itself being unheard; a silent chief guest at the feast. If so, Meeting for Sufferings last Friday was rather like the Enigma Variations. Its agenda was dominated, under several separate headings, by a recent rather celebrated pamphlet. But this dominaton was mostly invisible, indirect, and carefully not alluded to. Speakers largely engaged in discussing matters closely allied to the contacts and manner of publication of the pamphlet were manfully doing their best most of the time to behave as if there was no connection at all. The only flaw in this Enigma analogy was that the pamphlet kept popping up, by inadvertence if not by design. It even got into a report on the Yearly Meeting Fund accounts, when the Accountant (Leslie Todd) speculated that "the Society's bestseller may have had something to do with" a reduction of the annual deficit on the Friends Book Centre by £200. And, as the long morning wore into a long afternoon, the references got less and less oblique. By this civilised device the Meeting managed to compose quite a comprehensive set of variations on "Towards a Quaker View of Sex". And it seems possible that a conference on the subject is looking ahead for a larger body of Friends than the Meeting itself. "A Short, SImple Statement" A large part of he morning was focused on a minute of the Western Quarterly Meeting. After recalling the origin of the concern in the Worcester and Shropshire Monthly Meeting, this minute went on (with a buried significance in the very first words): Much that has recently been published about the relationship between men and women in an attempt to get away from a legalistic and conventional attitude. It has also tended to deal with the abnormal. There is bewilderment among young people as to the standards they should observe in their behaviour towards one another and this Meeting would welcome the issue of a short, simple statement in the name of the Society presenting affirmatively what in our experience we have found to be good in socially responsible behaviour. We should hope that such a statement would have the widest publicity. Hugh Doncaster hoped that this minute would be considered in some isolation from other statements and on its own merits. The concern thus expressed went back for him a good many years--indeed to the time of the first Young Friends' National Conference held after the last war. Asked to speak there on personal relationships between men and women, he had been drawn into many private conversations, mostly with Young Friends, at the time and at similar occasions later, and into many more about his pamphlet, Personal Relationships Between Men and Women, had been published by the Home Service Committee in 1950. Time after time a Young Friend would say: "But why aren't these facts made more widely known to us?" Facts were felt to be needed, as a basis for right judgment. Articles, correspondence and other material in The Friend a year ago; the Reith Lectures of G.M. Carstairs (where "charity" and "chastity" appeared to be rather curiously presented as incompatibles); and more recently the publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex, had afforded the opportunity for renewed discussion, which had disclosed the diversity of Friends' approach. Yet, except at the extreme either ends of the spectrum, there was a good deal of common ground. All would agree that it was important to maintain a living conception of personality and individuality, and not to let that become hardened into a set of general regulations. All were agreed that they should be sympathetic and understanding, that they should "meet people where they are", and that they should beware of judging situations that they themselves had never been in. All this had been said, fully and fruitfully. What had not been said was that, if one coming new to these problems of personal relationships was to behave responsibly, he or she needed to know certain facts about human relationships, and what had been found good in the past and in the present. Hugh Doncaster recalled that, at an informal gathering of young people which he had chaired for a free discussion of personal relationships, as time went on it became clear that no one present wanted to advocate pre-marital intercourse. The meeting said to itself: "We all seem to agree with this. But why?" Only one reason could be found among them--the risk attaching at present to contraceptive methods. So the meeting turned to him for further help, and he gave three or four reasons. At once they came back at him with: "Yes, of course. But why isn't this said?" He believed there was a clear case for a short simple statement, affirming that Friends were not wanting to sit in harsh judgment on anybody, but that it was their experience to have found a certain pattern of conduct to be ideal--a pattern which did not include either extramarital or premarital intercourse. In and after the Quarterly Meeting discussion two Friends had disclosed cases of young girls who believed they were "the only virgins in the class" at school and who were deeply perplexed to know the reason they could give for the stand they were taking. Allowing for a considerable element of bluffing in the confessions of young people among themselves, the fact was that a good deal of adolescent intercourse was going on. Friends had a reponsibility to give guidance, not in the sense of an edit, but by telling what experience they had found to be ideal. So his suggestion was, not for a long, careful, detailed consideration of all issues, but something simpler and more urgent; something that could be produced quite soon--with a draft, perhaps, to the next Meeting for Sufferings in July. A Diverse Discussion In the careful and prolonged consideration that followed the advisability of issuing such a statement was seriously examined. While it was clear that many Friends would welcome a statement in the name of the Society, there were also many who felt strong hesitation. Among those supporting the publication of a statement was Jean Storrow, Education Secretary of the Ipswich Marriage Guidance Council. She felt that the best way of getting facts known by young people was in discussion, but there were not enough people to go round to do this. Mary Pickard, welcoming the proposal, also pointed out the valuable Home Service Committee pamphlets, Christians and Sex: A Quaker Comment, by Harold Loukes* and regretted that so far this had not been more widely used. Majorie Fox, speaking out of her experience of a long and happy marriage, shared the concern for a statement. Ruth Wilson recalled Friends to material already available and hope it would be looked at again. Charles Deakin recognised the difficulties but hoped that a statement would get out. Mary Wilkinson asked Friends to realise at what an early age young people nowadays had to meet these problems; many of them were not very clever and needed something very simple. Several Friends stressed the urgency of the matter. Joan Pargeter agreed with publication, but they had to guard against the idea that life was cut and dried. No set of rules was applicable; all they could hope to do was to give a spiritual perspective. Bessie Blackburn said that the issue of a statement was not a simple matter, and it could not be produced quickly, since the issues needed to be studied honestly. Gustav Fischer was very hesitant about a statement, as it could not be produced in isolation from the wider issues involved. Maisie Birmingham considered the present as probably the worst possible moment for putting out a statement. Whatever they might intend, it would be interpreted as a contradiction of Towards a Quaker View of Sex. She hoped Friends would not rush into producing it. Several Friends supported this view. Robert Illing said that Towards a Quaker View of Sex had brought respect for the Society, and he had received many comments from students on its value. He would welcome a statement for private use, but doubted the wisdom of issuing it publicly. Phyllis Taunton Wood agreed that the pamphlet had received a warm welcome from other Christians. Marjorie Lee was not clear as to what sort of people they wanted to address. Scott Bayliss hoped that the statement would be be primarily for Friends, while Beti Jones stressed the importance of the manner of publication of a statement, as vitally affecting the way in which it would be read and interpreted. Eric Baker hoped that if they were to contemplate such a statement they would not give any colour for suggesting that they were being run away with by newspaper headlines, but should base their decision on the sober comments of statisticians and a recognition of the real complexity of the matter. He hoped that no Friend parents were waiting for the Society to tell them what to think, but were strenuously working it out for themselves. And he also hoped they were not going to confine their attention to extra-marital and premarital intercourse, for relations of this kind did not just happen, but happened for a reason for which they must search. If they were to state, it must be the fruit of considered thought, taking all things into account. There must be no short cut. "However much you dogmatise, a dogma is not in itself an answer to a real spiritual complexity." The Acting Clerk (Stephen C. Morland) believed that the Meeting was in favour of the quick production of a statement, while recognising the need also for prolonged thought and study. The Meeting finally agreed to the suggestion of Richenda Scott and Wilfrid Littleboy that Hugh Doncaster should nominate some Friends who could confer with him on the draft of a statement. These are: Mary Wilkinson, Jean Storrow, Ruth Wilson, Maisie Birmingham and Joseph Sayers. The draft will be presented to the July meeting, when its text and question of whether, and how, to publish it will be further considered. A Yearly Meeting Conference? Just before lunch the Meeting got on to a minuted from the Friends' Temperance and Moral Welfare Union, which read as follows: We have again considered the pamphlet, Towards a Quaker View of Sex, and its possible effects on our Society and people outside. Some of our members are deeply perturbed by the conclusions put forward in it, even though they are described as "tentative". Even among those of us who feel the pamphlet as a whole is a valuable contribution there are doubts about one or another aspect of the way its subjects are treated. Misunderstanding has arisen and still exists. We all desire to avoid needless division among us for lack of mutual understanding. We feel that a conference should be called, and not by any one section of Friends or special-interest group, so that in a background of worship we may discuss the issues with frankness and the fullest tenderness for each other's concerns, and come as near as possible to a broadly united position on the subjects with which the pamphlet deals. Speaking briefly to it, Cecil Heath, chairman of the Union, emphasised the Union's hope that Meeting for Sufferings would call such a conference, and that from it an authoritative statement would issue. Discussion was resumed after lunch, when it became known that a minute on rather wider lines had been received from Westmorland Quarterly Meeting. Headed with the title of the pamphlet, Towards a Quaker View of Sex, the minute read on: While we recognise the gravity of the problem and the honesty of the authors in their approach, we have felt that the problems of sex should be seen, not as an isolated phenomenon, but as part of the general revolt of young men and women against so much else in our social and moral codes. We are conscious of the great increase in drinking and smoking, in petty pilfering, in violence and crime, of the way in which young people are exposed to constant temptation by the incessant pressure of advertisements, by having too much money, by bad examples of violence in films and television, by the fundamental feeling of insecurity. We feel certain that the Society of Friends, both for its own sake and for the sake of society at large, should not let the matter rest at this point, since the essay has certainly given rise to grave misunderstanding outside he Society and grave uneasiness inside it. We hope that some definite step may be taken by the Society of Friends to make it clear to the public generally that Friends maintain a high moral standard and personal integrity, and their belief in marriage as a sacred relationships which should not be broken, and re-affirm our faith that young men and women have still the inner power to respond to the highest ideals of Christianity. We suggest that Meeting for Sufferings appoint a small group to consider the important major factors which have led to the strong trend among the young today to reject the social and ethical code of their parents and elders and the Christian teaching on many moral and spiritual problems. "The Hurt" Reginald A. Smith, Secretary of the Union, said: "I appeal to Friends generally to realise how much restraint is being exercised by those who feel very deeply and strongly indeed in reaction to this pamphlet. I feel we are entitled to ask that the supporters of the pamphlet shall exercise similar restraint." He had been exceedingly doubtful, in discussions in his committee, whether a conference of this kind could be useful, as he found it hard to see how Friends could get through it without deep division--such as there had been signs of that morning. However, under continuing exercise he had come to feel that a thorough exploration, guided with great care by Friends of special concern and perhaps special knowledge, would be the most hopeful way of achieving unity without laying themselves open to the indictment that they had too "lightly healed the hurt" and cried "peace, peace, where there is no peace". One of the things that opponents of the pamphlet found hard to accept was that they were uncharitable, lacking in compassion, or "innocents in a wicked world". A tremendous amount needed to be done on the level both of the deep realities to which the pamphlet had tried to give expression, and of the even greater and higher realities of which the Society, in present and past generations, had had widespread experience. "It must be a deep exercise", he said, "if we are to bring unity out of the disruptive tendencies of the modern world, of which some of us think this pamphlet is the latest example." Saving Face? Ruth Wilson favoured, not a conference, but a group of no more than ten or twelve to meet the authors of the pamphlet and try to get some concrete alterations to it. Gustav Fischer, on the other hand, believed in holding a conference--but a conference aimed at seeking not unity but the truth. Edgar Dunstan and another Friend supported Ruth Wilson. Anne Millington asked: "Are we saving our face or seeking good?" Many people outside the Society had been encouraged by the pamphlet; the greatest misunderstanding of it had arisen among Friends who had misread it. They should read and study it more carefully, and should also read other work specially written on the subject, such as Kenneth Barnes's He and She and Harold Loukes's Christians and Sex: A Quaker Comment. Otto Peetz gave qualified support to a conference. He would be uneasy if its aim were to tear the pamphlet to bits; much easier if it were to try to clear their minds as a group on the truth. Rightly planned, it could be a useful exercise in group thinking. While realising that neither in a tiny group nor in a conference could they reach out to the truth they needed or find the answers, Muriel Putz thought that they might say "yes" to a conference representative of every Meeting in the country, out of which a continuing committee could be appointed, in further search of some more agreed consensus of thinking of the whole Yearling Meeting. Robert Illing said that the conference should be of Friends in touch with young people, or its pronouncements would be of no value whatever. It was agreed to ask three members of the group which produced Towards a Quaker View of Sex, three members of the Marriage and Parenthood Committee, and three members of the Friends' Temperance and Moral Welfare Union, to confer on the possible scope and terms of reference of such a conference. This will be brought to the July meeting, when the whole question of holding it will be re-examined. Publication Policy At an earlier stage this spring the publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex, and controversy arising as to its manner of publication, had led the Home Service Committee to review its publication policy. This review continues; but the Committee came to the Meeting to ask if it would appoint two or three members experienced in matters of publication to join the Committee's discussions. The Nominations Committee is to bring in some names. (Our report of this very long Meeting will be concluded next week. Among matters still to be reported are the Meeting's decision to send a latter of appreciation to the Pope on his encyclical.) ______________ *published last year at 1s. 9d. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Meeting for Sufferings 3 May 1963 Description An account of the resource The Meeting for Sufferings (executive committee of the London Yearly Meeting) heard expressions of distress about the TQVOS study during its bimonthly meeting on May 3. Proposals to issue an official statement with more moral certitude and to hold a conference for a wider discussion on sexual morality were to be considered at the next meeting. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of <em>The Friend</em>, May 10, 1963, pp. 420-23. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/051330d70a9034e40058f864dd7a6096.jpg 656d15f9fc9e62d573a0e39ecff62c8d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/e18bcd35c835b49d5cd55fb507182857.jpg a61b586b4ef7a46988099b296eb225f2 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/5725ac905e61db5f477d1bd97cb6ad50.jpg e038306a78bc79c4970189d2fe418148 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/af9924a297fa65aac8d593c7d8b98fbe.jpg 5b67be9a0a6d3eaf93e994f63f9496ca https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/e2e652c7a3bc1fca4b101ce4245d05b5.jpg 28176c27e3e614f6014a174470d34ba6 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friend July 12, 1963 Meeting for Sufferings No Statement--and No Conference Full Discussion Ends Negatively Meeting for Sufferings spent a full morning last Friday considering whether to issue a statement giving guidance on sexual conduct, and whether to hold a conference on the recent pamphlet, Towards a Quaker View of Sex, or at any rate on the subjects with which the pamphlet deals. In both cases it was decided not to. At its last assembly (in May) the Meeting had been asked by Western Quarterly Meeting to issue "a short, simple statement in the name of the Society, presenting affirmatively what in our experience we have found to be good in socially responsible behaviour". In the interval Hugh Doncaster had been working on a draft, taking into consideration the comments of four other Friends appointed to confer with him.* The results, which had been circulated to members beforehand, was a document of some 2,000 words, for the actual form and working of which, Hugh Doncaster emphasised, he alone must be held responsible. although "much that is of value in it comes directly from" the other four. No instruction had been given in May as to whom this statement should be directed, but as it turned out it was directed "to young Friends in the later teens". The draft was headed: BOY FRIENDS AND GIRL FRIENDS CHASTITY OR INTERCOURSE? Its preamble explained that here was an attempt to help people find what is right for them in the circumstances in which they are, for there is little value in trying to impose from outside a code which is unacceptable. At the same time, patterns of behaviour which have been found to be good over many generations are likely to be based on good foundations. The preamble went on to suggest an outline of what was the Christian ideal. This general statement was then expanded into a submission of nine good reasons why sexual intercourse was best avoided by the unmarried--including sexual intercourse by those intending to marry. A final paragraph, before summing it up, emphasised that the question to ask is not," What do conventional standards require? "or even in abstract terms, "What is right?" but the far deeper and more exacting one, "What, in view of all the facts, does love require?" A Beginning and not an End? Hugh Doncaster recalled that the Meeting in May had wished that a statement, if to be made, should be a "complement" to Towards a Quaker View of Sex, and not a comment upon or answer to it; and this had been very much in mind. The draft was an attempt to take up the positive message of the pamphlet and develop it a little further. It proposed to say to young people that here was some factual information that should be available to them, "considering what love requires of them". Jean Storrow, one of the Friends who had been consulted about t he draft, considered it "a beginning, and not an end", and, as a beginning, excellent. But a teenager to whom she had shown it had said: "Yes, it's very good, but it's somebody standing there giving us good advice." It would have been better in this statement to have put to young people some questions to which they, knowing their own situation as no one else could, could be trusted to find the right answers for themselves. She welcomed the emphasis in the statement on loving and caring for one another as the key to the problem; indeed it was the key to all human relationships. And it seemed a good time for some sort of statement. Towards a Quaker View of Sex had set the stage; now they did want to go further and address themselves to some specific task. Nevertheless they might do well to consider whether they were rushing it a bit. "Healthy to Disagree" Anna Bidder (one of the eleven members of the group which had produced Towards a Quaker View of Sex) said that her reaction to this draft was very much the same as that which (she could not but gather) had been the reaction of a number of Friends to the pamphlet. There was much valuable material here, and "some absolutely splendid phrases"--"but the thing as a whole fills me with horror". The first impact of this reaction in herself--to find that "I simply don't agree"--had terrified her. But "gradually it came to me that it is right and healthy to be able to disagree with each other in the Society, and to be led together into light and truth. It is our genius to reach unity through pretty fundamental disagreements". The unity which lay behind both the pamphlet and the draft was the solid conviction that monogamous, loyal and loving marriage was one of the great contributions of Christianity to the world, and anything they said about sexual relationships was always directed towards helping people to a marriage that was just that. If, continued Anna Bidder, they were to offer advice to teenagers, it must be in the spirit of: "We in our experience and in our generation have found that this and this is so. You may agree or disagree, but you will remember that this is our honest personal statement." But she hoped that they would not say that patterns of behavior which have been found to be food over many generations are likely to be based on good foundations. She should have thought that the whole history of the Society had shown Friends again and again taking a stand against that attitude in the Christian Church. Friends took their stand on their own experience, on what God gave them to do and to say. She would not dare to say that any pattern of sexual behaviour which some or many had found right was to be claimed right for everybody. People were made in such different patterns and, as the statement had rightly said, God forbid that they should judge. Nor should they allow young people to think that the only thing that really mattered was whether intercourse took place before or after marriage; nor, further, that a marriage could not be well founded if casual adventures had taken place beforehand. It was not only the careless or light-minded who entered into sexual relations without marriage. Many others than themselves--and she had known and honoured some of them--felt that adventures without marriage were permissible, who would be shocked at any other view but that in marriage one should be anything other than faithful. "We must be honest with our young people and admit that a very wide range of sexual behaviour is not incompatible with goodness." She did not believe that for years to come the Society would be ready to issue an official statement on this matter. Meanwhile it was all to the good that documents of a tentative nature should be circulated. But it would not be right in so short a time to issue a statement in the name of the Society. No statement in that sense could be made without first having been though the channels of all the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, and without having been the fruit of long study, search and prayer. Reginald A. Smith could not be happy about the draft. He had begun thinking it very fine, both as to phrase and substance; and was disappointed that it just did not stand up to further consideration. "Essentially it is not a Christan appeal but an appeal to bourgeois prudence, and I have no more use for bourgeois prudence than have the authors of the pamphlet whose title I cannot bring myself to pronounce." It was perfectly true, the world being what it was, that they had to be extremely careful and responsible as to bringing a child into the world. But that was not the fundamental and eternal reason why completely monogamous marriage was the one sexual relationship really worthy of their calling in Christ. The reasons for that lay much deeper than most of what was said in the draft, and they must get down to them. Much as he admired the exercise and thought of the draft, it was not one which ought to be put out on behalf of the Society. Polonius Gustav Fischer gravely doubted whether the statement was either necessary or advisable. "In Hamlet there is only one character I thoroughly dislike--Polonius. I cannot imagine the youth of 1963 listening to Polonius, If I were a girl and found a boy who could read through these nine reasons I would not marry him." Elsie Wright thanked Hugh Doncaster and his co-workers, but the statement should not be published as a Quaker document. "It would be a mistake to issue anything that might tie us down." It was not final; it had defects of expression, perhaps; but it was helpful and reasonable, and young people should have the chance of reading it. She hoped it would be "published as a pamphlet and not issued as a fiat from the Society". Helen Neatby found no objection in the sentence from the statement which Anna Bidder had criticised. The finest human values remain permanent from days of old to the present. "Although their expression may change it doesn't change as much as one would expect." The statement, rightly understood, was profoundly true. Speaking as an Elder, and presenting, he believed a very large body of opinion among Friends, Wilfrid Allott thought they should approach with great care a proposal to issue a statement which purported to supplement or add to a pamphlet that had already given hurt and that had made some feel pushed outside the fellowship. By this move they would seem to be adopting the pamphlet. Both statements gave less weight to history than to psychology--a mere child among the departments of knowledge. The issue of the statement would cause more division in the Meetings for Worship. "We have a long way to go before we can get a view of sex which the Society can adopt without splitting it down the middle." "Just What We Want" Marie Best hoped that, whether or not published as a Quaker statement, it would be made available by some means to young people and to those whose responsibility it was to guide them. The draft had received a whole-hearted welcome from friends or hers, with responsibilities of this sort, to whom she had shown it. "This is just what we want", they said. Robert Illing, one of those who has just those responsibilities, fully concurred with this. Walter Stone, too, felt that there was great need for a statement along these lines. Carl Marcussen said that it was beside the point to criticise the statement as not necessarily being "for all time". A very large number of Friends considered it just the type of statement that was needed for this moment. Wilfred Demain had not a great of use for the statement; he feared that it was in fact a "reaction" in a critical sense from Towards a Quaker View of Sex. The glossy magazines were full of advice as good as this. What had Friend parents been doing all these years if it was necessary to reinforce their responsibility with this statement? Muriel Putz said they had to decide whether they wished it to be published, and, if so, by whom. She had been impressed by Anna Bidder's point that a statement issued by the Society as a whole should have been the fruit of long study, search and prayer and been considered in all the Meetings. But there were alternative methods of publication. They could ask Hugh Doncaster and the Home Service Committee to see whether a pamphlet could be issued under the aegis of the latter, without necessarily involving Meeting for Sufferings. The statement would then (as in the case of Towards a Quaker View of Sex) become a personal statement on behalf of those who had prepared it. Young People Know Nancy Richardson's work takes her into many groups of young people and into discussions there on this very subject. "Although I am very grateful for this statement", she said, "I am afraid it is nothing like enough." The young people she was thinking of would already know everything that was said in it; and the same could be said of young Friends. Young people had in fact a great deal of information, some correct, some incorrect, but they were wandering in a sea of theory. She agreed with Jean Storrow that if they were going to appeal to young people they must appeal on the basis of loving and caring for each other. "The only attack we can make to modern young people is: 'If you love, if you care, you do not want to hurt.'" This caring side of the Christian message was the one side of it which did get under the skin of young people. In the statement there was not quite enough on the caring side. She was surprised how many older Friends had welcomed the statement as if it was something new. Excellent material of this kind was issued by the moral welcome organisations, the National Marriage Guidance Council and other bodies. There was no lack of information; but there were far too few people willing and qualified to talk to young people; far too many parents who said: "I can't help them; can I give them something to read?" Here were cues for further steps they could take; not the issue of a statement. She hoped they would say to the compilers: "Thank you very much; you have made us think. But may we put it back and think again?" The clerk (Doris I. Eddington)* said that it was clear that the document was not one which Friends wished to be issued by the Society. But the drawing of a minute was deferred until the second item (below) had been dealt with. Conference? This second question was whether to hold a conference of Friends on the pamphlet, Towards a Quaker View of Sex, or on the whole subject, or both. In May three members of the group which had prepared the pamphlet, three members of the Marriage and Parenthood Committee, and three members of the Friends' Temperance and Moral Welfare Union, were asked to look into this. They now reported that an open conference would not be helpful at this time, but that later a representative conference might be useful. Meanwhile Elders and Overseers and others with a special interest might be called together locally to discuss problems of sexual morality, and for this they should be offered what central help was available. Reginald A. Smith (who was one of the nine Friend) said that the minute might be viewed in the light of three possible verdicts on Towards a Quaker View of Sex. These were, in Reginald Smith's words: (1) "that the pamphlet is a great revelation to the Society and the world;" (2) "its authors' view that, after five years' gestation, it must be good"; or (3) "that the pamphlet has got in it poisons so virulent that it is essential that we should do our utmost to render them nugatory." He made it very clear that the last was his own view. Anna Bidder said the committee had felt that an open conference would be more useful after small group discussions had taken place. Eric Baker said it was clear that Friends up and down the country wished to discuss the subject thoroughly. He suggested that (1) Arrangement for local discussion should be made through Quarterly Meetings. They should be asked to arrange for a group of Friends, in a Quarterly Meeting or larger local region, to discuss this topic, and he hoped that the discussion would not be restricted to Elders and Overseers. (2) Preparatory material, including the pamphlet, Hugh Doncaster's draft and other material raising wider questions should be provided to help in the discussion. (3) A small committee should be set up to provide material and keep in touch with the gathering. Sidney Arnold did not feel that Meeting for Sufferings should take on itself to start throughout the Quarterly Meetings a discussion on one aspect of life--sexual relations. He was aware of the importance of the subject and agreed most thoroughly with Hugh Doncaster's draft. But he thought that, partly because of diffidence and fear of hurting people, there were overlooking the one simple question that was deeply troubling many Friends because the Society, through one of its Committees, had issued a pamphlet "that contains poison". Many of the things that had arisen, for example the initiative of his own (Western) Quarterly Meeting towards the issue of a statement, had been occasioned by deep concern as to the effect of the pamphlet upon young people. That simple question was "How are we to lessen the harm and danger that this pamphlet has brought upon our young people?" Hugh Mellor, John Dennisthonre, Horace Bamford, and Doris Gourlay were among those expressing growing doubt about a general, or any, directive for local discussion. The last-name suggested instead a small, centrally nominated, group. Wyn Sweatman, with considerable emphasis, cried: "I hope we drop the whole question of sex in our meetings. Please let us do nothing at all. Let us go out and breathe some clean air over the holidays. Just leave the whole thing alone. We have really been rather foolish. A shocking waste of time. All this sickening discussion about sex." The Meeting decided to take no further action at present; either about the statement; the conference; local discussions; or a centrally nominated group. John Harvey felt that they could not separate without expressing warmest thanks to Hugh Doncaster for his able efforts, and their commiseration with him in the disappointment at so slender an outcome of all his work. (Our report of this lengthy Meeting's attention to other subjects must be left until next week) ___________________ *Doris Eddington has now fully resumed her duties as Clerk after her illness. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Meeting for Sufferings 5 July 1963 Description An account of the resource As reported in <em>The Friend</em>, dissension and unrest over TQVOS appeared to be heightened in the next Meeting for Sufferings. Still the body could not reach consensus to adopt either proposal from the previous meeting--to publish a statement or to hold a conference. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of<em> The Friend</em>, July 12, 1963, pp. 809-13 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0dec69902f74345033e8cc7a01559238.jpg 6b30a2969d4622166382628d093e5223 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1654c72fa4b67522b7770d43a82b6505.jpg cd2906f65b35f0353d8b1410e7c31512 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/c6d13bfcf4f6d6b95cfbd5edcd81161d.jpg 1630a38a6cea013599a5bfcc4d9adbfc https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/15fbe1085e4637b1e512c84533d74e47.jpg 6b7f86854f7a24b2b35d3bec1b6488bb https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/afe3d46c56d869a5d2eda61bf40cf588.jpg c73e32d8601754ca87f9b24bf47cd1d0 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/4e0cc8960b6d23cd2df44cf35cb29883.jpg c5649db66f26dc465a84d4d6346bce9d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/70372f15b7d42682cd5459f0fd97a74d.jpg 2a0f01024b956cd5ff0ddb78b106d5f5 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document Homosexuality from the inside an essay by David Blamires Published by the Social Responsibility Council of the Religious Society of Friends Friends House, Euston Road, London NW1 2BJ Foreword The Social Responsibility Council of the Society of Friends is glad to have facilitated the publication of this essay, written by an active and concerned member of the Society in collaboration with a small group, the majority of whom are also Quakers. We welcome the opportunity of putting before friends and others a sober and informed account of the position and feelings of some homosexual people in our midst. It need hardly be added that an essay which is so clearly written on behalf of a minority group does not purport to represent the view of the Society of Friends as a whole nor of the Social Responsibility Council in particular. However, this essay does represent both the spirit and the method in which we feel such a subject should be approached. In the first place it introduces candour to a subject where there is a history of concealment; and concealment, as we know, is a barrier to trust and thus to honest relationships between people. Secondly, as Friends who speak of "that of God in every man", we are invited to try and understand the problems of those who may not feel or act as the majority do and to try to meet the difficulties that such a minority group encounters. Friends are accustomed to the attempt to reach out in understanding to minority group, sometimes to people who are fundamentally anti-social. In this instance we should remember that the homosexual minority amongst us often give, from deep conviction, most valuable service to our Society and to mankind at large. We should ask ourselves whether they might not be able to contribute more if the underlying fears, so clearly shown in this essay, could be removed. We also record our sincere respect for David Blamires for putting his name to this essay; it is sad that this has to be labelled a courageous act. We commend this essay for careful study, and as a basis for frank discussion. We believe that apart from its value in itself, it gives us all the opportunity to examine our own attitudes, whether of love, tolerance, antagonism or prejudice and through our examination of those attitudes the better to understand ourselves. September 1972 Chris Barber, Chairman Leslie A. Smith, Secretary Introduction This essay has been written in the first place for members of the Society of Friends (Quakers). Those who have contributed towards its being written hope that it will help Friends to understand better the situation of that minority of people, usually estimated at about five per cent of the population, who are homosexual. Since homosexuals, both male and female, are found in all walks of life, it is likely that of the 20,000 Quakers in Great Britain about one thousand will be homosexual. This fact alone should make Friends consider that they are able to do for this substantial group of people if, like most others, they need help in their spiritual and emotional lives. The burden guilt and repression which many may feel is a cause of great personal distress. It is not made any easier when some sections of the Christian community turn their backs on them unless they are prepared to suppress completely their affections for their own sex. The homosexual--at least in the Western world--grows up into a society in which he feels he does not properly belong. Despite the considerable coverage which the media give to homosexuality in plays, films and news items, there are still very many people who do not realize at all clearly what it means to be a homosexual and yet functions as an ordinary human being. Hence this essay. Although what follows has been written largely by one person, it represents the outcome of extensive discussion between homosexual and heterosexual Friends and others close to them. It has grown out of the concern of a small group of homosexual Friends that a new and responsible exposition might help to overcome some of the misunderstandings that are apparent. We hope that it may also be of relevance outside the confines of Quakerism. The time has now come for society to make a positive move towards accepting the homosexual as a person with a pattern of experience that is authentic as that of the heterosexual and that can be discussed and worked out with the same degree of rationality and understanding as is the case with the heterosexual. This is not the first time that Friends have attempted to make a contribution towards a contemporary understanding of homosexuality. In February 1963 the Home Service Committee of the Religious Society of Friends in Great Britain published an essay by a group of eleven Friends called Towards a Quaker View of Sex. This eighty-four page book immediately attracted a great deal of publicity. It was the subject of a television programme. It was quoted and misquoted in almost all the daily newspapers, as much as anything because here a group of people, explicitly identified with a part of the Christian Church, was prepared, after several years of study, discussion and prayer, to put forward an approach to sexuality--and in particular homosexuality--that was radically different from what had hitherto been expected from a Christian body. The authors of Towards a Quaker View of Sex started with a consideration of homosexuality because this was a specific matter on which their guidance had been sought. But the more they went into the question, the more they felt compelled to extend their investigation beyond this narrow section of the sexual spectrum. It may well have been this extension to sexual attitudes generally that caused disquiet among certain sections of the Society of Friends, but on the whole the publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex was a liberation. It was widely read and discussed, perhaps less among Quakers than in society at large, and it is not an exaggeration to claim that it has played a significant part in the change of social attitudes towards homosexuality. Towards a Quaker View of Sex expressed the kind of approach to sexual relationships towards which many people, especially among the younger generation, had been striving for a long time. It refused to pass simple traditional judgements on such matters as extramarital sexual intercourse or homosexual relationships. Instead, it asked searching questions about the depth and tenderness of relationships, about caring for other people, about wholeness and integrity and about the exploitation of other people for one's own satisfaction. "Surely it is the nature and quality of a relationship that matters: one must not judge it by its outward appearance but by its inner worth. Homosexual affection can be as selfless as heterosexual affection, and therefore we cannot see that it is in some way morally worse" (Towards a Quaker View of Sex, p. 41). The authors were, quite rightly, not prepared to set up a precise moral code of what was permissible and what was not, but tried to provide a basis of judgement out of which the individual could develop an awareness of what was right in the particular situation in which he found himself. Its central chapter focussed on the issue of homosexuality, and there is a great deal of eminently good sense in what is written there. Since 1963, however, there have been major changes in the law relating to homosexuality which have made certain sections of Towards a Quaker View of Sex out of date. With the Sexual Offences Act of 1967, homosexual relations between two consenting males over the age of 21 in private no longer constitute a criminal offence in England and Wales. This provision does not apply to Scotland or Northern Ireland, and homosexual acts are still illegal in the Armed Forces and the Merchant Navy. But although the Sexual Offences Act has brought some change in the way in which homosexuals and homosexual behaviour are regarded by society at large, the peculiar situation in which the homosexual finds himself is still barely appreciated by the vast majority of heterosexuals. One disability under which Towards a Quaker View of Sex labours it the fact that it was written largely "from the outside", as was perhaps inevitable at the time when it was written. More than is the case now, homosexuality was then in large measure regarded as a "problem", especially morally, but also socially and medically. It was then the particular province of doctors, lawyers and the Church to pronounce judgement, on behalf of society, on people who were never thought of as "us" but always "them". The present study is, therefore, an attempt to remedy this lack in Towards a Quaker View of Sex and to provide some insight into what the homosexual himself or herself really feels and how differently the world looks from his or her particular angle. It is not an official Quaker view, but is intended as a contribution towards an ongoing discussion. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Homosexuality From the Inside Description An account of the resource Within a decade after TQVOS, another ground-breaking publication, Homosexuality from the Inside, was released by British Quakers. Author David Blamires honored the tremendous importance of TQVOS, yet goes beyond it to present a first-person account. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <em>Homosexuality from the Inside</em> by David Blamires; published by the Social Responsibility Council of the Society of Friends; Foreword &amp; Introduction. Reproduced by permission of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/26dadfb2db4150ba98749c74c47a4951.jpg 1e22dcb4bc4a09c747b002aa9cb3ba62 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/5fb25b4ae58dd38daf3913a1258167c0.jpg bf0cf7fe21bb24c85e6388d103fa59d8 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/56ad06522e8c12dc3ab3218412621c1d.jpg 973b6239e0b17f7017542c2791f17c4f https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/95690257ff548d74c0aede4dea674a6d.jpg dfef6c4f2792996f078b3912eab97102 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/6f8bfa1e1ab6f16d04159c4d7b2adc99.jpg a4f28e319d781e0421d0dd520fbaadf5 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document Dear David, you asked me to tell you about Towards a Quaker View of Sex, its origins, its methods and the subsequent reaction, so here you are. I came up against the subject of homosexuality when various associated problems were causing distress among Cambridge Young Friends. That must have been 1953-54. I did not convene the group, however, until about 1957. My father died New Year 1954, and I was occupied in clearing up our old home and establishing myself in a temporary new one for the whole of that year and later in building and moving into my present home. I was able to keep up the Young Friends evenings and from them or from some of them received a minute or letter urging me to get Friends to "do something" about the Wolfenden Report. As I learnt more and got freer of my personal affairs I began to consider the possibility of a Quaker group. I discussed the matter first with Lotte Rosenberg, a psychiatrist, and she was encouraging. I then wrote to Duncan Fairn and Alfred Torrie, who both welcomed the idea of a Quaker study group on homosexuality. I also approached Alastair Heron at the same time. Alastair, Duncan, Lotte and I had a preliminary get-together at the end of Yearly Meeting in a committee room at Friends House which we were lent. I am not clear what year--about '57 or '58, I should think. I think we must have agreed then on some more names to be approached--Kenneth Nicholson, Kenneth Barnes, Mervyn Parry, Keith Wedmore. Richard Fox was, I think, added soon, but not the first time, but I'm not sure. We met for the first time in a queer small room that was available in my Club, the University Women's, in Audley Square, and that room continued to be our meeting place till the end. It is important to remember the climate in which we came together - the law had not been changed - public opinion was ignorant and biased and many otherwise good and inspiring Christians regarded not only homosexual acts but homosexual feelings as sinful. I had been encouraged by finding more open-mindedness among Friends than elsewhere. So the first question before us at that first meeting at the Club was 'What do we think right and wrong in all this, and why?' - and before that session had closed we had agreed that the only way to approach the problem was to attempt to answer those two questions for the whole of sexual behaviour, hetero- and homo-sexual, and that was what occupied us during the five to six years we worked together. After quite a few meetings we realized that the only way was to agree on one day a month and stick to it. I forget which Sunday it was, but on each Sunday we met 10.30 at the Club and began with a meeting for worship. Coffee then appeared at 11:30 and with that we began our morning's work. We lunched together at the Club and resumed work about 2.00 or 2.15. Some stayed for tea, some left about 4.00 p.m. to catch trains. I think I was chairman for a bit, but Duncan Fairn soon took over and was, of course, excellent. As I said, I think Richard Fox was brought in almost at once, and then Joyce James, because we felt the need for a married woman's point of view, I being a spinster and Lotte having been divorced by her husband, in Germany, many, many years before (because of her Jewish blood). Then we decided that we would not add anyone else - we were getting to know each other and developing into a working group, and if a new person were brought in, we would have to go back to the beginning for them. We sought for information and counsel, however. For some months we had at each meeting a representative of some Friends group: another schoolmaster, a representative from Young Friends, from the Friends Guild of Social Workers. We approached the Marriage and Parenthood Committee (later laid down - a pity. I think), and they asked for one of us to go and talk to them, so I went and shared in one of their weekend conferences and addressed them at one session. Each visitor shared the whole morning and lunch with us and was then thanked and sent away, and the afternoon was spent discussing what we had learnt from them. Our last guest was Stephen Thorne, then Recording Clerk. We were rather wanting to be recognized by the Society, and he discussed it with us. when he pointed out that, if we were accepted by the Meeting for Sufferings, then Sufferings would be able to appoint Friends to join our group, we saw at once that we could not try for recognition since we have already decided not to add to our numbers. I may say I was immensely impressed by Stephen Thorne's very fine mind. We must have been meeting for eighteen months or two years before we decided that we had better try and write something - and you know the result! I should say that the writing was a truly group activity. Various individuals produced the first draft of various sections, but all drafts were circulated through the whole group and criticised and amended at the next session. We all agreed that it was the most remarkable group work we had ever known. I remember a relaxed feeling, although we were working hard. I was away from the group, on biological work in the West Pacific, from September 1960 to June-July 1961. I timed my departure so that I could attend the morning of one of our sessions before catching an afternoon plane and arrived back on the Saturday before another Sunday meeting. During the meeting for worship I was feeling strongly that vocal ministry from me after so long an absence was inappropriate. Nevertheless, a message presented itself which could not be denied utterance. After a while Duncan said, 'I haven't done the homework I said I would do for this session, and, since Anna has spoken, I have understood why.' We were as close-knit as that. At a later stage in our drafting we decided to have a week-end together, based on my flat. I put up Lotte Rosenberg; Richard Fox had his caravan in the drive; Duncan, Alastair and Keith all had hospitality available in Cambridge; my sister kindly put up Kenneth Barnes and Alfred Torrie; Mervyn Parry lived in Cambridge, of course, and I think Kenneth Nicholson must have driven over each day from Saffron Walden. I spent an entire day cooking before they came, and my sister produced two puddings, and we had a profitable and enjoyable week-end - with splendid washers-up! We had a small Rowntree grant for expenses, and Friends Home Service Committee published our pamphlet. It was to be published on a Monday. and publication to be announced at a television programme on Sunday, in which Kenneth Barnes and I took part, together with Anthony Storr. This arrangement started the project off on the wrong foot with many Friends, for, at that time, but few Friends had television - so on Monday morning they were greeted by their non-Quaker friends who had sets with 'What are you Quakers up to? - or words to that effect - and Friends didn't like not knowing! A very unfortunate mistake, which also exacerbated opposition, was made, for which I have always held Home Service responsible, in that no mention of authorship appeared on the cover. We had to be anonymous, because of Duncan Fairn's position in the Prison Service, but 'by a group of Friends' on the cover would have made it clear that it was not an official publication by the Society of Friends. This error, (corrected in the 2nd edition) was naturally resented by many. As you know, the reception was mixed - and extreme both ways. We had heart-warming appreciation both within and without the Society, and we had criticism and abuse. Kenneth Barnes and I had the mail, of course. I didn't mind abuse from outside the Society - I had a grubby anonymous note saying simply, 'You're a whore'. The men of our group were horrified and apologetic. I didn't mind - after all it wasn't true! But I allowed myself to mind much more than was reasonable some of the reproaches I received, by letter or in speech, from Friends. I remember sitting in a Sufferings and hearing a Friend say, 'This pamphlet which I cannot bring myself to name could spread a poison through our Society from which it must at all costs be protected.' - But you may say we were avenged when, some months later, Sufferings was receiving an account of the Book Centre's finances - out of the red for the first time for years 'largely due' (I was told it was added) 'to the sales of a certain pamphlet' - and I am glad to add that I understand that Sufferings broke into roars of laughter! The strength of the criticism took everyone by surprise, but I think it was noisier than the praise, and that positive welcome has been astonishingly lasting. I would have thought it would all be vieux jeux by now, but I have, in fact, quite recently heard of two Friends, quite unconnected, who were drawn to the Society by reading the pamphlet. It was a wonderful experience, those years of working together. We all learnt a lot from it - I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Was it a 'concern'? I did not so feel it when I began, acting on a human judgement of my own and of others. I think, however, that we very much felt ourselves to be acting under corporate concern once we got going, and that was why we decided to stop recruiting more individuals to our group. When Kenneth Barnes and I went to our television programme, we went from a meeting with the others and I personally was strongly aware of being prayerfully upheld. The negative reaction of so many Friends surprised everyone. It was a shock to me because, when I first became involved, I had been glad to find Friends much more open-minded and prepared to be sympathetic and compassionate for the problems of the homosexual - much more than found other equally 'good' people. We had, of course, wonderful welcome and support, but the comment I valued as much as any was 'I don't agree with you, but you were right to publish if you felt like that.' We did not in the first place plan to publish. We met as a group of Friends with very different experiences and outlooks, all feeling that Quakers should have a contribution to make towards understanding a bitter problem. It all happened twenty to thirty years ago. It moves me to think that so many thousands have read and often been helped by what we wrote, and some are still reading it. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Writing TQVOS 1988 Description An account of the resource On the 25th anniversary of TQVOS, David Blamires, now editor of <em>The Friends Quarterly</em>, invited Anna Bidder to write her account of the process of writing TQVOS. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of <em>The Friends Quarterly,</em> October 1988, pp. 146-50. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/9af9f6b8001c754889263d2782ec9075.jpg 3ed7c292951924913e08c461218fdbb7 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/622e7b0e6cc3b3f01a9cb4f0e7df928e.jpg 97e599cb38f27d2fed6b891efc27b1c5 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/d6984a93e1c4d7c32ca4c74ac793b9bf.jpg ff6baf0fbb4d6d29d42dacd2e34468f5 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/b1d37bf0453720fbbcbb9ed7405c236a.jpg 77f582bc4eb9ad7f05912af6ce841d5e https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/f037b5f3d5186b1af207ba785ab4de28.jpg 0295b40b4634981f2d65c4df4b952c3d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/9e197cc52ea2ce2c4e4808eebc1c2994.jpg 0ae63aa4ed6277dd025657bde89e7841 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/bb17d6bd27f0b22d978894df57b5e0ce.jpg 0df82b1ae7e4a36811db935cd0458a92 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/bc513b825847d4286bcc3a4f3d9692fa.jpg 54411a41a5c9414b14571a0455463d69 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friends' Quarterly October 1988 Towards a Quaker View of Sex: A View from the Wider Church Douglas Galbraith This is not the first time in twenty-five years that I have had to find a substitute for the copy of Towards a Quaker View of Sex unaccountably missing from my shelves. The result of this accident, however, is that I now possess the last ever copy to be sold, which my local divinity faculty had received, with an explanatory apology, in lieu of their more numerous order. Associated with this unique purchase was no prize or incentive but rather a request from the editor to reflect on the impact of this publication on the wider church, a privilege indeed for one who is not often to be found among Friends! I have to say, however, that bending to the task, I did wonder whether this was prize or penalty. That this essay has had considerable significance is widely accepted, but how to give this chapter and verse? Influential writing of this kind, one suspects, do much of their word by stealth. It was during a debate in the House of Lords on May 1965 about the law as it affected homosexuals that the Lord Arran, speaking to a bill to protect the rights of consenting adults, made reference to the support of such groups as the Church Assembly, the Church of England Moral Welfare Committee, a Roman Catholic Advisory Committee, the Methodist Conference, and 'an influential group of Quakers'. 'These are great bodies', he said, 'and their voices cannot be taken lightly.' The debate was taking place in the aftermath of the report of the 'Wolfenden Committee', the Royal Commission set up in 1954 to re-assess the laws relating to homosexual offences as well as to prostitution. This question had been raised partly because of pressure from church bodies over the preceding two-year period. In 1952, an ordinand at Ely Theological College, noting public reaction at increased police activity against known homosexual, wrote to the journal Theology questioning the employment of penal measures to punish homosexual practices and raising the matter of homosexuals who wished to make their contribution to the local Christian community. This set up a chain reaction in this denomination, issuing in a privately-circulated report by the Church of England Moral Welcome Committee in 1954, where it was pointed out inter alia that in no other department of life did the State interfere with private actions of consenting adults. The chief recommendation of the Wolfenden Committee, when it reported in 1957, was that the law be not concerned with private homosexual acts between consenting adults; the place for the law should only be where something was contrary to the public good. It was received with wide approval, but the government of the time was not found eager to implement these recommendations with legislation. There was fear that alteration would seem to imply approval or tolerance of 'a great social evil': public opinion was not ready for such a move. This inaction prompted the establishment of the Homosexual Law Reform Society, which helped keep the issue before Parliament and society at large. Thus the pressure towards legal change was established, but what was also badly needed was the influencing and educating of public opinion, as well as the care and support of those who had come under increased pressure, as homosexuals, at a time of flux and uncertainty. Towards a Quaker View of Sex was to contribute substantially towards meeting both of these needs. Part of the background to the preparation of the essay was the theological ferment of the Sixties, sometimes referred to as the 'new theology'. The shift of focus from a God who was 'out there' to an immanent Being discovered in the midst of life was paralleled by a shift of emphasis from an external code of ethics to the situation where many ethical choices were possible and more than one could be 'right'. Thus the 'permissive society' of the Sixties had its echo in the 'new morality'. Instead of seeing Christian morality as divine revelation which was to be worked out afresh by each generation in the light of its own understanding of the Gospel and of the conditions of the times. The impact of the essay resided in a number of factors. It was prepared to deal openly with information not freely discussed and about which there was therefore much ignorance--for example, the incidence of masturbation, or stages of sexual maturation. It was prepared to face the implications of changing practice in the patterns of relationship between the sexes, many of which were not commonly admitted because they seemed too threatening to traditional Christian morality--for example, the increase of familiarity allowed between the sexes, or the greater opportunities for close personal relationships (e.g. in the work place) alongside the marriage commitment, or the fact the temporary relationships were frequently approached with seriousness and commitment, or the predicament of young adults caught between the stimuli of advertising and economic realities which prevented immediate marriage. Again, it challenged certain assumptions which supported an unthinking acceptance of traditional views: did extra-marital sex necessarily undermine a marriage? does the love of virginity really mean more to a woman than to a man? A central contribution, however, was the way the essay approached the making of ethical decisions. It questioned the view of morality by which right and wrong was known and 'given', and which must find its expression in an external pattern of behaviour to which all should adhere. Morality must come from the heart, something that traditional codes of morals could not be said any longer to do (the question is very properly raised as to the effect on people of following such codes so little based in feeling). The touchstone of moral behaviour was the quality of relationship achieved, not conformity to a pattern. Generosity, warmth and freedom were to replace what the authors saw as a humourless scrupulosity. This approach, far from leaving things in the air, led the authors to come firm conclusions. The group affirmed that there must be a morality of some sort to govern sexual relationships, since such a profound experience could not be left to private judgement. It also affirmed the need to preserve family life and marriage, in which they saw the sexual impulses having the greatest opportunity for joyful and creative expression. Indeed, they commented that the conclusions such an approach may lead to might be as critical of 'free love' as the 'old morality'. The Christian standard of chastity stood, but should not be measured by the absence of a physical act; rather it should be standard of human relationship, applicable within marriage as well as outside it. Progress toward an appropriate Christian ethical response meant in the end spiritual growth and the continual seeking of the will of God. The formation of the working party, of course, had been in response to particular questions raised by homosexuals and the essay is notable in its insistence that the same ethical approach should apply to questions of homosexuality as of heterosexuality. It refuses to treat homosexuality in isolation, but approaches it through the whole question of sexuality, seen not as a physical act but a quality of personhood,. The same criteria, therefore, are to be applied, namely, what is the quality of a particular relationship? is there exploitation or there freedom to grow in love? Homosexual affection can be as selfless as heterosexual. A society which enabled and supported mature homosexual partnerships may benefit from their existence. Certainly, neither the physical nature of an act, nor any feelings of disgust, should form the basis of moral decisions. A change of attitude is required, from that which says 'whatever you do it wrong' to one of acceptance. The effect of this essay lay not only in the argument propounded, but in the way the arguments were couched. Peter Coleman, in his influential and thorough study Christian Attitudes to Homosexuality (SPCK, 1980) applauds the courage and the clarity of the writing; there was no doubt, he said, what was meant. He also finds its importance not only in the text itself, but in the reputation of Quakers for 'moral caring responsibility'. Here was an example of what Ian Fraser, writing in another context about the marks of the true church, characterised as 'convincing words interwoven into a convincing life'. Another factor (acknowledged within the report itself by way of encouragement of readers to take the necessary steps) was the greater freedom to assess authority critically and come to a common mind that resided in a group like the Society of Friends which was not dominated by priests or a hierarchy. This, taking along with the Quaker tradition of the equality of the sexes and the refusal to make distinctions between the sacred and the secular, provided a strong foundation from which to explore these ethical matters. Finally, the essay has about it a 'listening quality'. Quaker families are often notable for their openness to their younger members and for a readiness to take seriously their views and experience. This same quality is present here. The reader feels that those who are currently facing the dilemmas discussed are fully present in the report, and this contributes to its cutting edge. It is probably correct to say that most subsequent discussion of the issues, particularly of homosexuality, has taken place with some cognisance of this document. Not all reports may refer to it directly, but among the exceptions is The Church and the Homosexual (1976) in which an American Roman Catholic professor of Moral Theology quotes it in support of view that 'there can be a morally good sexual relationship between two homosexuals'. Coleman himself offers a lengthy summary and comments on its 'abiding influence' as being in its articulation of the basis of a liberal case. (The same author also notes the usefuless of Homosexuality from the inside, David Blamires' up-dating of the original report.) This combination of sound argument, well expressed and centred in the Quaker ethos, made for a document which was especially suitable for the teaching of Christian Ethics in colleges and universities. In my present university, as well as in the theological college in Australia in which I recently taught, the essay was found to be useful not just because of the arguments and information marshalled therein, but because of the way it penetrated and articulated the day-to-day experience of those who face for themselves these dilemmas. It engages the reader at the point of personal feeling, and not just intellectual understanding. There is a contrast here with may subsequent documents which have adopted a more careful tone, conscious of the sensibilities of church members who might be offended by too direct an approach. 'Sex and Morality", the BBC report of 1966, may be open to this criticism in spite of its attempt to move from traditional positions. The fear of causing schism in a church often seems greater than a fear of not getting something right or not providing sufficient support. It was not until much later that church documents were able to argue and communicate as openly on these matters. One of those was the British Council of Churches report God's yes to sexuality edited by Basil and Rachel Moss (Fount, 1980). Among other things, it invited readers to rethink the role of the family, usually seen as the centrepiece of traditional morality. The ties of kinship and the strength of the family in providing a setting for growth in love, including the sexual expression of it, was acknowledged, but so also was the family's potential for damage. It urged a more positive view of the single state and the recovery of friendship as a powerful factor in the health of human society. The single person was able to discover more diversity in friendship, which would enrich the common life as well as his/her own growth. Singles could also help the development towards a more open and flexible family structure if only society would cease to consider theirs as an 'incomplete' or transient stage. Sexuality was much more than the genital expression of it and was present in all relationships including those who were unmarried. The assumption that any such relationship must stop short of genital expression was challenged, although many questions were raised about the implications of this--for example, an absence of long-term commitment, the danger of exploitation. As regards homosexuality, the BBC report acknowledged that same-sex sex can be exploitative and destructive just as can heterosexual sex. It questioned the view that homosexuality was a 'vice' or a 'disorder' and challenged the right of the church to refuse forgiveness without reorientation or a promise never to proceed to genital expression of love. There should be no public and private parts of life, and no pressure on homosexuals to hide their orientation. The demands of love and compassion were made in all relationships; there was an equal demand made on homosexuals, but less support given to achieve this. Again, a report by the United Church in Australia on Homosexuality and the church, edited by G. Dicker and published in 1984 and intended for study by its members, began by acknowledging the homosexuality was not something chosen by the individual. In the majority of cases, to talk of treatment was irrelevant. It points out that homosexuals can be Christians of quite orthodox belief and practice. Further, homosexual seduction of minors is no more damaging in the long run than heterosexual seduction, which is in fact much more common. It offers as a Christian possibility that homosexuals may enter into deep and loving relationships with each other. On the matter of ordination (one of the triggers for this study), it resists automatic exclusion of a candidate on the grounds of homosexuality and insists that decisions must be made in a holistic way through the normal processes of selection. One important advance in the last twenty-five years has been the canvassing of alternative interpretation of 'classic' Bible passages on homosexuality, following contemporary biblical scholarship. For instance, it is suggested that Genesis 19 is not about homosexuality at all; rather the main point of the story is the condemnation of violence, gang rape and inhospitality. No Old Testament or Apocrypha references to Sodom and Gomorrah interpret their sin as having to do specifically with homosexuality. The Judges 19-21 passage is capable of a similar interpretation. Deuteronomy 23: 17-18 and verses in I Kings 14, 15 and 22 may refer to homosexuality, but this is uncertain; the concern of these passages is with the cultic activities of Israel's neighbours (which include sexual activity of various kinds) but it is not clear whether the Hebrew word qadesh (male cultic prostitute) refers to homosexual or heterosexual activity. Leviticus 18, 20 and 25 are part of a law code which, as well as forbidding homosexual acts, forbids the lending of money on interest, a law clear3ly considered not applicable today! Why, it is argued, should the other apply? Of the New Testament texts, in relation to I Corinthians 6:9 and I Timothy 1:10 there is uncertainty about the meaning of the word translated "homosexual" in t he RSV. Again, Romans 1:26-27, which condemns male and female homosexual acts, does so as part of a list which includes other sins and is intended to illustrate the broken state of God's creation. It corresponds to similar lists in Jewish writings and leaves us with the question as to whether what was seen as sinful in first century AD Jewish culture should be seen similarly today. In addition, Paul seems to understand homosexual activity as carried out by people who are naturally heterosexual, i.e. entered on my deliberate preference; he does not have the understanding of homosexuality as something which could be natural. Can we therefore, the argument runs, accept what he says as binding on our situation today? A quarter of a century after publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex, what development has there been, if any? It is a question which is quite difficult to answer. Certainly there is a heightened awareness of the issues and a greater acceptance of homosexuality amongst a significant number of people. On the other hand, events like the introduction of 'Section 28' and discussions within the Church of England regarding the acceptability of homosexuals for ordination are symbolic of old attitudes dying hard, events which enhance feelings of discrimination on the part of homosexuals. An interesting development has been the self-identification of homosexual women in particular with other minorities, such as those based on race. This has had the effect of broadening the issue from sexual orientation to the nature of oppression in society. Indeed it is not easy to separate this from a feminist critique as a whole, a perspective on society which is concerned with questions of power and the quality of relationships regardless of sexual preferences, racial characteristics, etc. Such initiatives are well matched and promoted by powerful and perceptive writing, for sample through 'women's pages' in newspaper and publishers which specialises in women authors. At a recent student forum in my present university, the view was put forward that the reason no comparable means of raising consciousness on the part of gay men has developed is because it is still possible for hem to remain 'invisible', to identify as it were with the 'oppressor'. To acknowledge being a member of an oppressed group, it was argued, was to give something up, namely, the power of being a male in our society. It was less easy to remain invisible if you are a woman, or black, or poor. This continuing invisibility fuels the fear that many people have. Yet the impulse to retain one's invisibility derives also from a continuing fear of being unacceptable and unsupported by society in general. It is this feat which causes governments to ban the 'promotion' of homosexuality and which gives rise to ambivalence in the current discussions about ordination. Again in this university, gay men attest to continuing discrimination. This was not attributable, in the main, to the institution as such (although the question 'does the institution promote acceptance?' was deemed to be more relevant than 'does it institutionalise discrimination?'). Rather it manifested itself in a number of small ways amongst fellow members of the university community. What was particularly called for was a series of small, affirmative actions which would in time alter the climate of acceptance in the environment. If the university community is like the society as a whole, it would be true to say that today we remain culturally in the immediate post-Wolfenden period in which people were considered to be 'not ready' for change. In such a situation, it is a strength for concerned people to have such reference points as was provided, and is still provided, by such committed writings as Towards a Quaker View of Sex. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource View from the Wider Church 1988 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of <em>The Friends Quarterly</em>, October 1988, pp. 150-57. Description An account of the resource Also on the 25 anniversary, Blamires invites Douglas Galbraith to write about the significance and role of TQVOS in the development of the larger church and society's understanding of human sexuality and homosexuality. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/2b938c1bb27734dce33d99279ca90f06.jpg 26b57c8ed0dc5707285b0cc0642b44d1 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/650cade5dcd40373827efe5ca8b79529.jpg 9a569b4af35c7bfd11fdb7c8397d6d2f https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ec7bcd05243ca70a304f201002fe9a28.jpg 03c4f232cf2729ab532b06fdc756099d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/3458e5c0e8304b24e713c00ef339539c.jpg 562262ad3d036cfe8f5f767e9776f74c https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/de6c01ddbd61cf8ba91c309347b8d665.jpg bb677118d3ecda5aabe7e309e9f76f70 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/f3d960828bb90bd4a1324e49df625583.jpg c8e5ca825dc55e83c9ac15fd3b94e50f https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/04c0f5a60bdcc10e7c8bdb0bb4d885ad.jpg 365c73cf4fd55b64fcc1c4cb69efb73d https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/325065d67f963e2a1912e61d87290440.jpg accddff66fab064116e4fc14bbc660e5 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ee4e9fe1026071ea52d288521213be40.jpg ed8c696a7538568a075a493307276da6 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/15bea049ddb1a8af61084babb8d11d79.jpg 19f4e68038235170783bdac5ef0ee224 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/9624eccc4e2cbce6956d549abf1294f2.jpg 067d44ae5b1c9f50200bd59d0156f3fa https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ca35df01cf3bc2b8ccf35b05b8b0ad46.jpg cf69fcb34853eba2c9d5ec08510fa7d4 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/739d5f8289ae02a75920a6c588016714.jpg 04c2e05c01770cb8be99092c28e6cbec https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0fd6147668f2c7cd37f4c14e1ba0fcdc.jpg 8efde101f1820b1f6d94b196e0c14e8b https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/db2bfbbcbe29e6b2611345b2d8ac083e.jpg 9331e61ae7581cd0b4eb9133db1f10e6 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Pushing at the Frontiers of Change Description An account of the resource The first chapter of Blamire's 2012 historical account of "British Friends' involvement in various processes leading to homosexual equality" was devoted to TQVOS. This is most comprehensive narrative available on the TQVOS process. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived <em>Pushing at the Frontiers of Change: A Memoir of Quaker Involvement With Homosexuality</em> by David Blamires; published by Quaker Books, March 2012, pp. 1-19. Reproduced by permission of David Blamires. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8a8614ff72343dc9eca968e5087681ee.pdf 6a41db6ce867ba8047ab77ace0d3bfd5 Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document The Friend September 20, 2012 Discover the contemporary Quaker way The golden anniversary of sex by Stephen Cox Stephen Cox reflects on the forthcoming fiftieth anniversary of ‘Towards a Quaker View of Sex’ 'Sexual morality is an area of challenge and opportunity for living our testimonies to truth, nonviolence, equality, integrity and love.' Quaker faith & practice, 22.11 'We think it our duty, not to stand on a peak of perfectionism, asking for an impossible conformity while the tide of human life sweeps by us, but to recognise, in compassion, the complications and bewilderment that love creates, and to ask how we can find a constructive way in each of an immense variety of particular experiences. Towards a Quaker View of Sex Next year is the fiftieth anniversary of the publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex. There are various things we could do. We could slap ourselves on the back about how great we were fifty years ago, and carefully ignore contemporary relevance. We could poke fun at those passages that, with the passage of time, have come to sound the most quaint, inaccurate or comic. We could try to codify Quaker sexual morality into a handbook with, I believe, little hope of success before the sixtieth anniversary. Or, if I might offer a suggestion, we might actually engage with the more timeless challenges its authors laid down, as they apply to our own time. Rereading the book recently, I was struck by how fresh its approach could be, if we took it seriously. Towards a Quaker View of Sex was a child of the early sixties. There are passages that imply that, if only we get our sex lives and personal relationships sorted out, the resulting release of loving energy will transform society. Sex is not a magic wand, and we all know neither the sorting of sex nor society proved so simple. Fifty years on, the West’s sexual morality is muddled. We have allowed greater personal freedom, which has been often good, but we seem as obsessed and stressed by sex as ever. We have diverse communities in revolt against conventional wisdom, whether more conservative or in some cases more liberal. Towards a Quaker View of Sex predates ‘identity politics’, the feminist revolution and the backlash. We have seen a grotesque commercialisation of romantic love and marriage – our family dubs the gloating over the £30,000 wedding as ‘wedding porn’. We understand abuse better, we show a paranoia about paedophile abduction out of all proportion to the risk, yet we accept a commercial sexualisation of children. In our own Society the glib assumption is that the married, and committed but not married, are ‘under the care of the Meeting’, a care we often struggle to know how to deliver. By some accounts, in recent decades, the majority of Quaker marriages involve someone divorced or will themselves end in divorce. Questions What is Quaker morality? Is it a rulebook? Or is it ‘more or less anything goes’? Or do we live by the Spirit – understanding that it is by following the Spirit we will find not what is allowed, but what builds up. (As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:12, all things are lawful but not all things are helpful.) This third way combines an understanding that our choices affect other people as well as ourselves, that testimonies come from experience tested in the Spirit and our worshipping groups, not shopping lists of rules, that we may not have all the answers and that we may disagree. This approach throws up a number of questions. Family and commitment Towards a Quaker View of Sex stressed the centrality of marriage and family life to their concerns. What have Quakers to say of family today? No one would say that Quaker faith & practice is at its strongest on this central issue. Modern Quaker families struggle to make choices about work-life balance, education, challenging the world’s values and living in the world so we can be leaven. We’re offended if our Meetings offer advice and offended if they don’t. Many of us live in that very recent invention: the nuclear family. We are separated from other relatives – by our economic choices, in where we study, work and live – but neither do we find strong communities to be an alternative. Some people think asking people to say they will stay married, or will want to stay married, until death, is a big fib. If Quaker marriage is special how do we show this? What resources can we provide for those aspiring to this life long journey? Would switching to, say, a ‘five-year lease with option to renew’ be better or would it make every relationship far too provisional, too inclined to break under pressure? Most people agree that cheating is wrong. But what is cheating? A sexual relationship, particularly a very long term relationship, builds intimacy and trust, combining a biological need with deep friendship and a safe place of openness. Relationships develop appropriate vulnerability. However, there are Quakers who have such relationships with more than one person at a time, openly and with genuinely loving agreement. Yet even those Quakers who agree with this can disagree on how this should be done. Identity and witness Modern politics has grown up with different groups fighting their corner. To someone exploring their sexuality or issues with gender, ‘identity’ usually proves useful in helping them feel accepted and laying out a path to follow. It helps you find similar people to understand your individuality and, thereby, accept as equal people who are different as well. And yet, saint Paul famously deconstructed the key identities of his world – male or female, Jew and Gentile, slave or free. All were one in the Risen Christ – the living spirit makes identities of secondary importance. Where does Quaker witness lie? Working with those whose sexuality or gender is highly destructive to others? Providing a welcome for the unconventional… and at what cost to our dignity, the approval of our neighbours and our self esteem? The gospels contain very challenging encounters between Jesus and women who lived outside conventional morality. But, for many of us, a relatively quiet acceptance was what we needed when we came to Meeting, not a Californian encounter group. How much can I challenge you and you challenge me, in an area where our personal choices and identity are so important? Morality by formula I have been astonished by those who think Yearly Meeting 2009 in York has finished the job. There are Yearly Meetings worldwide that are more hostile and alarmed by homosexuality than Britain Yearly Meeting was in 1963. As some countries debate legalisation or same sex marriage, others reintroduce the death penalty or seek to ban debate. And young people in our schools have limited information and are often parts of communities that peddle hostility as a defensive mechanism against what they see as moral decline. Children are not just bullied for being gay, they get bullied for standing up for gays. Towards a Quaker View of Sex was, above everything else, a thoughtful attempt to apply the living spirit to current conditions, a passionately moral book that rejected morality by formula, that had a primary interest in helping the young from an explicitly faith position. It only ever claimed to be an opening of debate, a debate that needs to continue. Will the Society listen to its call to action, or merely put it safely on a pedestal where we can ignore it? Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Stephen Cox in The Friend Sept 2012 Description An account of the resource As the 50th anniversary of TQVOS approaches, The Friend invited Stephen Cox to write some reflections on Quakers and sex today. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of <em>The Friend</em>, September 20, 2012; published online. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/db09cd25b9dfc7db38bb6ac6f3779839.jpg 95d5e95dae584dcb283a4c2f37504a45 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/329eeb3497826d8d66224b547a467aee.jpg 99bc705de986a3e47613bfb50bd8e2fb Text A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document Friends Journal March 2013 From a Quaker View of Sex Mitchell Santine Gould Quick! Name the most influential document published by British Quakers in the twentieth century. It's probably a 1963 pamphlet entitled Towards a Quaker View of Sex (VOS for short). A year after its publication, LIFE magazine included it in its groundbreaking expose on gay (male) America: A group of Quakers in Britain challenged the view that homosexuality is immoral [and] suggested that society "should no more deplore homosexuality than left-handedness...Homosexual affection can be as selfless as heterosexual affection and therefore we cannot see that in some way it is morally worse." That same year, a landmark meeting between Methodist ministers and gay activists organized as the Council on Religion and the Homosexual and requested that the National Council of Churches "make a statement along the lines of that which was made by the Quakers in England." Recall that in 1964, the mere mention of the term "homosexual" could cause all conversation to stop in a shock wave of embarrassment and dread. The rationalist, clinical tone of VOS offered a way to calm the prevailing climate of sex panic. Even without exploring its historical impact further, we can already see VOS as a twentieth-century example of what Alan Tully called "civil Quakerism": the propagation of Friends testimonies on justice into secular culture. Written from the viewpoints of the sexologist/social worker, the attorney/sociologist, and the theologian/person of faith, VOS appears to have been intended to serve as a compact, but full-service, handbook on "homosexuality." It consists of a substantive introduction, a presentation on "normal" versus "homosexual" development, an appeal for a "new morality," a pragmatic guide for counselors, several heavy-duty appendices, and quirky glossary. It is a queer duck among the annals of Quaker testimonies: part self-help guide, part high-school science project, and part liberal manifesto. It was unabashedly written by committee, and reads like it. I am struck by the historical complementarity between VOS and the fiery spiritual testimonies to be found in the words of Edward Carpenter in England and his American mentor, Walt Whitman. These authors functioned as founder spirits brooding over the creation of the gay rights movement. The grand clarion calls of simplicity, peace, integrity, community, and equality articulated in Leaves of Grass provided encouragement for gay men, and some lesbians, in an era of almost unimaginable oppression. Jack Nichols, a 1960s gay rights activist and key participant in the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, later wrote: Though Edward Carpenter had beat me to is, I was the first gay liberationist in my generation to herald Whitman as the indispensable spiritual font needed by America's gay liberation movement. Today I regard my having done this as something on a par with or perhaps surpassing all other pioneering acts I've initiated. Although complete unacknowledged by VOS, Whitman and Carpenter offered persecuted gays a manifesto of affirmation bombastic enough to shine a ray of hope into their "dark confinement." VOS's combination of compassionate advocacy with rationalistic sexology spoke far better to the condition of sympathetic but nervous straight allies, offering gentler and more pragmatic defensive strategies in an ancient culture war. Neither approach was strictly better; rather, both were necessary. VOS came out attired in button-down, grey-flannel language, but openly addressed the great scandal of love between men and love between women. The front cover of VOS was stamped with an abstract puddle shape that paid homage to hipster abstractions of that era's modern-art craze. Stylistically, perhaps its most ambitious passage is a pretentious quotation on love as existential risk, from that darling of 1960s pan-Protestant theology, Paul Johannes Tillich. Despite its shortcomings, an open-minded reader may come to appreciate the wisdom and clearheadedness in VOS. Quakerism, claimed VOS, cultivates "an attitude to authority that enables it always to say, in the words of John Robinson's farewell to pilgrims setting off for the New World, 'The Lord has yet more light and truth to show forth.'" The fundamental premise of VOS states: Insofar as we love the good and know the mind of God we do not need rules and moral codes to guide our conduct. This offers, however, a freedom of action and judgment that we might grasp at too easily, assuming that we know our own minds and the mind of God. In facts it demands a disciplined search. This is a perfect expression of what Friends believe, and VOS is a disciplined search in booklet form. Unfortunately the authors did not explicitly identify that sentiment as the result of Quakerism's Inner Light tradition. At another perfectly classic Quaker juncture, VOS cannot resist criticizing the needless grief arising from the stern legalism of the Judeo-Christian tradition, by strongly rejecting "almost completely the traditional approach of the organised Christian church to morality, with its supposition that is knows precisely what is right and what is wrong, that this distinction can be made in terms of an external pattern of behaviour, and that the greatest good will come only through universal adherence to that pattern." The eleven authors add, "Many other groups have already recognised that the kind of morality that includes a vehement and categorical condemnation of the homosexual is not Christian, for it lacks compassion for the individual person and it lacks understanding of the human problem." At the same time, the authors admit that it was difficult for them to come to definite conclusions "as to what people ought or ought not to do" instead of toeing the Levitical party line. They could not "produce a ready-made external morality to replace the conventional code." This language, and this principled decision to insist on a living search for guidance rather than a dead mandate of "thou shalt nots" is congruent with the deepest core of the Quaker way. The real world significance of VOS largely hinged on its ability to offer positive help--a guided, disciplined (as opposed to an aimless) search. It sets forth three design standards for a new sexual morality: Sexual morality "cannot be left wholly to private judgment...We must never behave as though society--which includes our other friends--did not exist." Sexual morality must "preserve marriage and family life [and] the freedom conferred by an unreserved commitment to each other." Sexual morality must disallow "those actions that involve exploitation of the other person." Towards a Quaker View of Sex concludes: This search is a move forward into the unknown; it implies a high standard of responsibility, thinking and awareness--something much harder than simple obedience to a moral code. Further, the responsibility that it implies cannot be accepted alone; it must be responsibility within a group whose members are equally committed to the search for God's will. One of VOS's key attractions is its wisdom on love: "Too much attention has been given to love as an ideal, good or bad, noble or sentimental; too little to it as a form of action, a continuing and developing experience." In compellingly contrarian theological terms, it asks, "Can we not say that God can enter any relationship in which there is a measure of selfless love?" VOS's greatest value, therefore, came from its radical ability to reimagine--and to model for the rest of the world--Christian morality as a disciplined search rather than a draconian discipline. It declared that love is to be found in action more than in sentiment: it is a manifestation of the Spirit behind all Creation, found in the character of homosexual and heterosexual alike. The eleven authors of Towards a Quaker View of Sex not only achieve their aims, but probably accomplish a good deal more than they hoped for. Doesn't their pamphlet deserve far more appreciation than Quaker historians have so far given it? It is not a perfect analysis and has become largely outdated, but the authors anticipated this: The questions are sweeping and time has not been unlimited; consequently our answers are tentative and incomplete. With the help and encouragement of Friends and others it is our hope that further study of the moral and scientific questions will become possible. In my view, there are several ways to truly honor VOS, by building upon its foundations: Firstly, we could cite contemporary gay activists as thinkers, theologians and authorities in their own right. But just as critically, we could identify VOS's freedom of conscience message with our Inner-Light tradition. This would justify its view of sex as a valid restatement of centuries of Quaker theology; it might even directly engage evangelicals who believe in Satan (nineteenth-century Quaker minister Elias Hicks had challenged them). We can now completely disavow Freudianism, and place more emphasis on the healing, inspiring and ennobling potential of love, instead of exclusively focusing on its many obligations. Finally, we can acknowledge that the culture wars are actively fostered by an opportunities ruling class (in which sex is turned into quite a potent wedge issue, not to mention a weapon to harass political rivals--the trigger for the 1957 Wolfenden Report). We should now be fifty years closer to realizing a coherent Quaker view of sex. Are we, indeed? What is the best way to commemorate VOS? With speeches and retrospectives, or by listening more attentively for the call of Spirit? Are we listening? Does the Lord have yet more light and truth to show forth? ______________ Mitchell Santine Gould enables financial advisors to collect client data for use in emergencies. Curator of LeavesofGrass.org, he is the leading authority on Walt Whitman's rise among "sailors, lovers, and Quakers." Together with the LGBT Religious Archives Network, he documents the historical intersections between Quakers and gay people. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Mitchell Gould in FJ 2013 Description An account of the resource On the 50th anniversary of TQVOS, Mitchell Gould wrote a probing analysis on its legacy and how we can build on it today. 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Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text. Text Any textual data included in the document Letters to the Editor February 22, 1963 One of the difficult tasks of the individual at our business meetings is to abide by "the sense of the Meeting". How can he who sees a vision do so? I could have wished that the writers of "Towards a Quaker View of Sex" had been as patient as forward-looking Friends have to be at business meeting and in Meetings for Worship. Had they been so their thoughtful work might have had to wait for publication but might then have borne the imprint of the whole Society. Henry L. Wilson. Letters to the Editor March 1, 1963 Towards a Quaker View of Sex is like The Cloud of Unknowing; it should be read from beginning to end--or not at all. Peter Reeman Stonebower Fellowship Silverdale, Carnforth, Lancs Within a week of publication, Towards a Quaker View of Sex was the subject of criticism in the correspondence columns of The Friend. This may or may not have been valid. The group of Friends who produced this document based on their considerations on study and experience of various kinds, and they accepted the discipline of group discussion over a long period before publishing their conclusions. I wonder how much understanding of these problems, and how much prayerful consideration, has provided a basis for the criticisms we are offered. To what extent has the document itself been studied first? I may be wrong in wishing that the prayerful submission to divine guidance which precedes ministry in our Meetings for Worship should also precede publication in The Friend. But I cannot help fearing that the facile expression of opinion in public may sooner or later extend to ministry. Brian F. Bone 52 Harcourt Drive, Earley, Reading. I hope that no one in the Society of Friends would do anything but thank the group who produced Towards a Quaker View of Sex for bringing before us the sexual situation as it exists. Personally, I would like to thank, even more, John Ounsted for his commentary, which puts forward so admirably the attitude of those of us who believe that there is a Christian rule about chastity. Taking the matter out of its Christian context, which presumably the majority of this nation does, is this country really able to cope with further "permissiveness" just at present? Since we are told that one in five or six children born in this country today is born out of wedlock and that many, as a result, begin life deprived of the security of home and parents; that this, in turn, leads them to become the problem children with whom an ever increasing number of social scientists are needed to deal, ought we not to be concentrating our every effort on encouraging recognition of the fact that heterosexual intercourse still tends to produce children and that the place for children is in a secure home with parents who will often have to make considerable sacrifices to keep it a secure home? I find myself increasingly depressed by the tendency in this country nowadays to regard the acceptance that a state of affairs exists as a reason for making that state of affairs the standard above which one does not aim. Is this not, perhaps, the cause of our "malaise". Isabel B. Taylor 29 Falstaff Road, Earley, Reading, Berkshire I am deeply disturbed by the publicity which has already been given to the report Towards a Quaker View of Sex, both in the Press and on television: despite the fact that at this stage it does not represent the views of anyone outside the group itself, this publicity is of such a nature that the man in the street will undoubtedly accept it as at least approximating the views of the Society as a whole, and subsequent disavowals will tend to pass unnoticed. I trust that consideration may be given at some suitable time to ways of ensuring that such a situation does not arise again. I am sure I am not alone in desiring to thank John Ounsted for his able review, and particularly for the words with which he closes it. Why is it that, attaching as we do particular value and importance to most of the Sermon on the Mount, we yet shy away from Christ's forthright words in such passages as that beginning at Matthew v. 27, feeling instead that a new code of morality, bringing with it wider "permissiveness", is what is required today, the argument apparently being, as I understand it, that moral standards around us have changed, and that we must conform to them if we are to speak acceptably to people of the second half of the twentieth century. Let us remember that the "civilised" world of Christ's day accepted many practices which we do not tolerate even today, yet this did not deter him from condemning adultery both in thought and in deed. The pages of history are full enough already of examples where a relaxation of moral standards has brought ruin to individuals, groups and even to whole nations. If our standards are deteriorating, let is never have to be said that the Society of Friends has contributed to, or condoned, the process. George Burnham Braithwaite, 1 Pittville Crescent, Cheltenham. I wish to express my disquiet at the way in which Towards a Quaker View of Sex has been publicised. The first intimation of publication appeared in t he form of a review of its contents in THE FRIEND of February 15 and a second in the BBC television programme of the following Sunday. At that time the essay was not available to our members. it would seem prudent to publicise essays of this type (which the formulators must have realised would be most controversial) only after approval by the Society as a whole. After all, it took five years to produce the report; it could have waited a little longer. John Mayman 15 Warwick Road, Redcar, Yorkshire Although I have not at the time of writing been able to read Towards a Quaker View of Sex, I consider the reviews in The Observer and The Guardian, and even the Daily Express with its forthright recognition of "concern and experience", will be far more effective in rousing interest in the Quaker message than any advertisement. All people, truly concerned with "a revolution in the mind of man" (to use Ibsen's phrase), whatever their personal faith be based on, will say to the compilers, "Well done, good and faithful servants". All to whom "mercy, pity, love and peace" mean something will acknowledge, whatever their religious views, that the Quakers have opened out vistas, that they have used concern, experience, compassion and insight into actuality, to break down preconceived ideas, dogmas and inhumanity. All honour to that large body of Quaker thought, honest, humane and informed, that is behind the report; all honour to the newspapers which have given it such thoughtful and just consideration. Millicent Price 129 Foley Road West, Streetly, Sutton Coldfield. I believe that I am expressing the opinion of many Canadian Friends when I say that Quakerism has suffered a damaging blow by the unfavourable publicity given to the essay Towards a Quaker View of Sex. This essay may represent the view of some Quaker in England. But to release such a publication with a title which implies that this is a Quaker view of sex seems to me to have been a serious blunder and a great disservice to our Religious Society. The disclaimed that the essay does not represent the official view of the Society of Friends is largely nullified by the fact that an official committee of the Society was responsible for its publication. As might have been expected, newspapers and TV commentators immediately seized upon it, giving the impression that the views expressed in the essay represented a considered Quaker approach toward unconventional sexual behaviour. Especially to be deplored is the effect that such a pronouncement will have upon our Quaker education and particularly upon young people, by the implication that Quakerism condones homosexuality and pre-adult experiments in sex, with the further implication that Christian morality is out-dated in our present era. It may flatter the vanity of Friends to believe themselves the prophets of a new morality. But to me this is only further evidence of the state of moral anarchy into which two world wars have brought out Western civilisation. Arthur G. Dorland 2755 Yonge Street, Apt. 325 Toronto. Now that a concerned group of Friends, moved by charity, hope, faith mixed with much current commonsense, have brought the Society to speak on sex, is there another such group that could bring it to speak honestly on the social order? John Sykes 26 Stevenage Road, London, SW6. Letters to the Editor March 8, 1963 "Towards a Quaker View of Sex" The Executive Committee of the Friends Temperance and Moral Welfare Union, at its meeting on February 28, desired us to seek the hospitality of THE FRIEND to explain the relationship of the Union to the essay by a group of Friends Towards a Quaker View of Sex. The Editor's note on Page 3* of the document accurately records the part which the Union took as the channel through which the financial assistance of the Joseph Rowntree Trust was made available. The reasons for our acting as intermediaries in this way are somewhat technical, and we need not go into them but we were also, of course, sympathetic all along to any serious study by trusted Friends of the subjects of the essay. The point it is message to make is that, while we have broad reports on progress from time to time when we passed on t he Rowntree Trust's contributions, no one on behalf of the Union had at any time any knowledge of the direction of the group's thinking or the contents of the essay until it was already in the hands of the printers, and the appearance of the name of the Union must not be taken as any identification of itself with the tentative conclusions or lines of approach. On the other hand, this must not be read as a repudiation. We have as yet not corporate view of the essay in one direction or another. H. Cecil Heath, Chairman. Reginald A. Smith, Secretary Friends House, London _____________________________________ * This states: "Grateful acknowledgement is made of the generous financial assistance from the Joseph Rowntree Charitable Trust (made available through the Friends Temperance and Moral Welfare Union)..." _________________________________ No doubt our eleven Friends expected the mixed reception which their report is receiving and I trust they are undismayed by it. I only wish that some of those who are glibly discussing it had taken more time and care in their reading and consideration of it. I think we should realise that this is a report of responsible Friends hammered out over six years; as such, I am delighted the the Home Service Committee saw fit to publish it, even if they or we may have reservations on many aspects of it. For this is just the sort of rethinking that we as a Society can do especially well unencumbered as we are--or should be--by tradition or precedent for their own sakes. For me, this report has thrown a new light on homosexualism--it treats the matter in a way which is both intellectually and scientifically acceptable and which is in no way contrary to our conception of the mind Of Jesus; and it has opened up some very basic questions about human relationships and the way sex enters them. There is deep thinking here, and the superficial questions brought up in the popular Press and elsewhere should be answered--as Jesus did in similar circumstances--by asking the more profound and underlying questions. Paul Hickinbotham 2 Knighton Grange Road, Leiscester. We must be grateful to the Home Service Committee for its reminder nine years ago that "oddity, whimsy, anarchy beset the path of the Christian who tried to push his insight too far alone; and from the earliest days the Society has rightly sought to maintain unity among Friends by providing for the sharing and pooling of individual judgements" (Christian Faith and Practice, Extract 327). The same dangers beset the path of small groups who try to push their insights too far without checking them against the judgment of a larger and more representative body. We may be glad of the opportunity of trying to enter sympathetically into the concern which has occupied eleven of our members or the past five years, but they must not expect us rapidly to adopt conclusions which they have wrestled over for so long a period. They must realise, too, that the fact that they have chosen to publicise their views widely to others even before they have shared their concern with the Society has caused many of us acute embarrassment when we are asked by neighbours or the local Press for snap judgments on a document we have barely had time to study. The true concern shared "in the life" does not hurt Friends in the way they have been hurt in the last fortnight. But perhaps out of our painful exercise to heal this fracture in our body we may look more deeply into our historic experience of the way in which the concerns of individuals or of small groups are shared, modified and enriched by wider judgment, so that they are ultimately accepted loyally, if that judgment has been reached through faithful dependence upon God. We are so infected by materialistic assumptions that we get worried at the thought that this process "takes time", and we murmur that we are "busy people". So we may be, but phrases like these can be temptations of the devil, diverting us from a recognition that time belongs to God. It is only as we place time in his hands that we do not either outrun or lag behind our guide, and it is only as we walk obediently in the light that we do not stumble. Mary S. Milligan 182 Shinfield Road, Reading, Berks. We might have guessed that this publication would bring down censure on the authors and on the Home Service Committee. But what other course was open to those concerned? I would like to share Henry Wilson's optimism (THE FRIEND, February 22) that had they waited their work "might then have born the imprint of the whole Society". Alas, experience has taught me that Friends have no conception of the passing of time; too often the horse can be miles away while they deliberate whether or not to shut, leave open, padlock, remove, replace, etc., the stable door. Too often these tedious deliberations take place on issues--and this is one--about which the majority have no specialised knowledge at all. I suggest that had this courageous group waited for the Society's sanction this pamphlet never would have been published. Perhaps rightly so in that case--but it has been made quite clear to those who read the document who is to be held responsible for its contents. Kathleen Arman. 28 Rodway Road, Bromley, Kent. As a social worker I welcome this essay because it states truthfully aspects of sex and morality constantly encountered in the course of our work, and about which there is often confusion of thought. People who have little contact with what they regard as the "seamy side of life" tend to be puzzled because Christian social workers "condone immorality" and fail to bring pressure to bear where sexual expression is other than that normally associated with marriage. I think myself that they confuse the mature person, who is deliberately behaving in am immature manner, with the immature person who is still too immature to behave in a mature manner. They recognise easily the mentally dull or the physically handicapped, but without contact and experience it is harder to recognise the emotionally damaged, the spiritually underdeveloped, or those with mental or glandular abnormality. Thus while no one would ever dream of punishing an educationally subnormal child for failing to pass GCE, we may inadvertently be making just such a foolish demand when we try to insist on conformity in sexual expression. Human beings have been created with great diversity of capacity, and they grow up with an equally great diversity of environmental influences, so that how they are able to use sex is inevitably determined to some extent by both factors. Christians have always been aware of this problem, but too often their approach to its understanding has been limited by inexperience, moral teaching and concepts about society's needs. From a distance it is possible to say that such and such conduct is bad and ought not to be allowed, and even to support deterrent measures in the hope that people will pull themselves together, exercise self-control and behave. But for anyone like myself, who has had almost daily contact with "immorality" over some thirty years, it is impossible because it is absolutely unrealistic. Over and over again one sees that in a situation free from exploitation the practice of mutual love--however unorthodox--can be thoroughly wholesome. I begin to see that mutual love will occur at the level necessary to the parties concerned. That is to say, well-developed personalities will need what is called "moral" expression, and less well-developed what is called "immoral". The stage of development will determine the pattern of love, and as people grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally so the pattern will indicate the degree of their maturity. If we deny or interfere with the expression of love, I think there is danger that we may distort or retard development of the personality. I would regard marriage as an expression of maturity, and I am doubtful if it is a suitable pattern for immature or emotionally damaged personalities. In order that they may ultimately succeed in marriage it is probably necessary for them to experience less lasting relationships. Some women appear only to mature sufficiently for marriage after they have born a child. Many inadequate personalities can never reach full maturity, but socially they need to be accepted and encouraged to develop as far as possible. But what about "corruption"? Many people agree in principle that there is a case for tolerance, but fear in practice that the expression of sexual immaturity is like a virulent infection. In the absence of tolerance in this country it is impossible to refute this empirically, but in theory it seems improbable. Children pass through many forms of behaviour as they grow up, and we do know that the less notice taken of forms we do not like, the quicker the child grows out of them. Prolonged bed-wetting, thumb sucking or even stammering are often linked with too much attention and disapproval in the first place. It is therefore probably that damage is caused not by a casual experience but by the notice taken of it. Speaking generally, experience helps rather than hinders development. I think that greater tolerance would enable more people to express love at their own level instead of trying to force themselves into socially approved patters for which they are still too immature. This might lead to a temporary increase in immature sexual expression, but in the long run to more genuine and therefore happier marriages. It is significant that so many married people speak as though they believed that given a free choice anyone would go in for some other sexual pattern! If only more people could enter marriage knowing by experience that it is what they need, then they would surely be much happier, and also able to regard immature sexual expression with tolerance rather than with fear and envy. We can all at times be so concerned with what other people ought to do sexually that we fail to make friends with them. However incomprehensible someone's sexual life may be to us, it is well to remember that God loves people as they are--and who are we to differ? Towards a Quaker View of Sex recognises the wonderfully healing quality of love, and pleased with those who are richly endowed to give generously to the poor. I find the essay both inspiring and humbling. Ann B. Jackson. 91 London Road, Sevenoaks, Kent. The immediate reaction of some Friends to publicity about this essay saddens me, and appears to be based on unthinking and uncreative criteria. Thus, first, horror that the subject has been mentioned in public at all. This is surely unworthy of a Society that claims to welcome new light "from whatever source". Secondly, the narrow assumption that any attraction felt between a man and a woman not married to each other implies an immediate and irresistible urge on their part to leap into bed together. Surely with civilised people this is often a quite unjustifiable presumption? This preoccupation with the physical reflects the gross materialism of our age and its neglect of those adventures of mind and spirit that are out true business here on earth. Among these is the rewarding spiritual communion that can occasionally blossom between a man and a women, even of widely differing backgrounds or ages. This level of oneness, whose exquisite quality cannot be more than hinted at in print, can be sustained in untarnished splendour for decades, with injury to none upon obedience to a condition that is both simple and demanding--that carnal contact is confined to the conventional handshake. To me, Extract 493 in our Book of Discipline hints at just this, and no more as some seem to fear. We can be profoundly thankful for the way Hugh Doncaster has elucidated this topic in this Personal Relations Between Men and Women. His treatment of it cannot fail to exalt the reader, and is the finest thing in print on this subject that I have ever come across anywhere. If personality takes precedence over possessiveness, as it surely should for a Christian community, then we cannot afford to judge merely by taboos inherited from pre-Christian concepts mainly based on possessiveness over property. W. Harry Butler. 6 Youngs Rise, Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire. Letters to the Editor March 15, 1963 Reading the letters in THE FRIEND on Towards a Quaker View of Sex, I am puzzled to find that the chief controversy rages, not around whether or not the essay holds something of truth, but around whether or not it should have been published before it had been shared and accepted "in the life" of the Society. I cam to Quakers only by one road--the search for truth. Now I find myself asking: how can truth be served except by the publication of such essays, which are the fruit of the travail of concerned minds? It is the force of its challenge--not only to the Quaker way of thought as well--that is so revealing. Its instant sparking off of dissentient or approving voices shows that in some measure it touches all. Therefore, should not all, not only Quakers, have the opportunity of responding to it? Are we going to say to the seekers among us: "Go, search for truth, but don't do it in our name, nor speak it in the hearing of others, until we've vetted your findings and pronounced them safe and respectable"? The truth is that such findings are not always safe or respectable. To allow the intrusion of a third party into the relationship of a married pair, for example, is highly dangerous. Those who have tried to accept it, and failed, will not underestimate the immensity of the problems involved. Nevertheless, it is with the so-called "injured parties" that the initiative at the moments rests. Love was never meant to bind the married pair ingrowingly and to force it into this mold is to destroy it. Marriage at its best can be a way to a greater outgoing of the spirit, which alone makes possible the forgiveness of injury in the welling up of universal love. This could redeem not only many a marriage but the suffering world we live in. But first must come a change in society itself--the whole society of man and not only the Society of Friends. A changed outlook from that of a possessive and acquisitive society into a forgiving and responsive one would uphold all its members in all their difficulties. Dorothy Cocks. Midway, Lenten Street, Alton, Hampshire. The discussion on sex has not, I think, touched on the question of celibacy. Christianity owes something to the early celibates, and after all, its Founder was one. As for women, the nineteenth century produced few finer than Florence Nightingale. In the twentieth century I rejoice that the statue of Edit Cavell occupies a prominent position in London. Indeed, there is much to recommend celibacy, not the least being that one has greater freedom from the dictates of our decadent civilisation--if civilisation is the mot juste. Admittedly, marriage and parenthood are normal procedures. Whether or not the infants should be grateful for the inestimable boon of being introduced to our beautiful civilisation is a matter of opinion. Tom Sullivan. 31 Knockbreda Park, Belfast 6. In the correspondence about Towards a Quaker View of Sex the most urgent advice comes from Peter Reenan (March 1): "It should be read from beginning to end--or not at all." I should add: "and not only once". John Ounsted gave similar advice and the fact that he took it himself makes his report, both in its praise and its criticism, a valid and valuable document. I should not wish to add to the correspondence had there not been one aspect of the pamphlet which has not been sufficiently emphasised but which I find of great importance. This is the spirit of "seeking", which is well within the historical and spiritual tradition of Quakerism. It is for this reason that I cannot fully agree with John Ounsted when he says that a better title for the pamphlet would have been "Away from a Traditional Christian View of Sex". The writers do seem to be looking "towards" something, but make no claim to have arrived. I believe that the writers have a right to use in their title "Towards" and "Quaker". We cannot find the answer in their deliberations (how we wish we could; that is where the disappointment lies), but we can find a plea for continued seeking; seeking in the Quaker way. And I do find a sense of direction. Joseph Brayshaw (THE FRIEND, February 22), quotes the "two contrasted schools" of Lord Samuel and asks: "Towards which choice would our eleven Friends lead us?" My answer to this question is unhesitatingly: "Towards 'lasting affection, stability, home, children, the family system' and away from 'will treat sexual relationships lightly'." A careful reading of page 40 must lead to an answer in this direction. David Murray-Rust. 29 Ashburton Road, Birkenhead. Adam Faith is reported as having said recently: "I have had no sex." May he not have done more good than Towards a Quaker View of Sex, bearing in mind the thousands of adolescents who have read his statement? Norman and Rosemary Ferguson. The Grove, Denholm, near Hawick. Letters to the Editor March 22, 1963 As one-time social workers who have had some contact with the "seamy side of life" we have great sympathy with the attitude of mind conveyed by the letter from Ann B. Jackson (THE FRIEND, March 8) although not in complete agreement with all the views expressed. However strong our sense of distaste or disapproval may be, it is essential, if we are to be of help to others, that we should maintain an attitude of tolerance best expressed by the words "Neither do I condemn you". We thank the group of Friends who contributed to much time, thought and expert knowledge to the preparation of the pamphlet and hope that it may lead to careful and sympathetic examination of the problems involved. We earnestly hope that the Home Service Committee's promise to re-examine its policy in regard to publications does not imply any intention to suggest or accept any form of censorship. While feeling that a tactical error was made in the timing of the general release of the pamphlet and in the choice of title, we should deeply regret a decision which required that future publications should bear the imprimatur and obstat nihil of the Society as a whole. Had that been necessary in February, 1963, we share Kathleen Arman's feeling that the pamphlet should never have been published. George W. Reddick. Mabel N. Reddick. 7 Pembroke Avenue, West Worthing. In spite of criticism and disagreement within the Society and misunderstanding outside, it is to be fervently hope that the present facilities will continue to any such future concerned group of Friends to publish their considered opinions of any matters of fundamental important to society at large. Stephen H. Stoner. Dimbola, Freshwater Bay, Isle of Wight. The use of the word "Quaker" in "Towards a Quaker View of Sex" is bad because the group is really speaking as psychiatrists and doctors. That is why they use "Towards", quite properly, to avoid a dogmatic note. If they had said "A View of Sex, by Eleven Friends" they should not have compromised those of us who have other experiences and loyalties, but "Quaker" has an advertisement value. In the discussion other words are badly used, for example, "Mutual 'love' will occur at the level necessary to the parties concerned", followed by the assurance on "the wonderfully healing quality of love". This is erotic love, of our age: Jesus says nothing of it, but condemns inordinate desire in the heart. His teaching requires a man to say "No" to himself, and his love, like Paul's in I Corinthians 13, is compounded of esteem and self-control. Surely no settled Meeting even would issue what might be taken for an authoritative Quaker pronouncement on these "difficult questions". And even less, we trust, any ad hoc committee, or annual gathering. On this we take issue with the Home Service Committee minute which thinks that on these "difficult questions...the Society ought to have something to say". Who are "the Society"? Wilfrid Allot. 7 Rawcliffe Grove, York. I have just read the pamphlet, Towards a Quaker View of Sex, and although I can understand that it may surprise some non-Friends, especially those whose knowledge of the Society of Friends is not very clear, I am at a loss why it should create any furor among Friends. I find nothing in it to take exception to or disagree with. It is not only an informative and thoughtful approach, by professionally qualified Friend, to a difficult problem, but it is also obviously inspired by a deep desire to seek the will of God in this matter. The references to relations between men and women outside marriage no not for a moment, in my view, suggest an invitation to general license, but an attempt to avoids accepting a traditional principle without being sure that it is right, and to approach the difficulties and temptations of others in a very tender and understanding spirit, which cannot simply say, "Thou shalt not". Those of us who are social workers know that to say to our patients and clients, "This is wrong. Fullstop", is of no help to them, and effectively prevents us from being able to give them any further help with their problems. In many Meetings Young Friends must feel to be up against a blank wall where difficulties regarding sex are concerned. This pamphlet may help them to feel that after all Quakerism has an understanding of their problems, and that they may find help from an older Friend. Non-Friends, on the other hand, who do not go to church because of the condemnation they have found there or expect to find there, may feel that here at least is a religious Society where they will find sympathy and help. Barbara M.R. Northrop. 10 Tredgold Close, Bramhope, near Leeds. Much as we may regret the premature publicity which surrounded the publication of this essay, we must be grateful to its authors for the sincere and thoughtful attempt which they have made to bring reason to bear on such an emotional subject. After careful study of the booklet I find myself profoundly disturbed by several aspects, in particular: 1. The emphasis throughout seems to be too much towards what can only be regarded as abnormalities. Perhaps the opening words give the clue to this, in stating that its origins lie in problems brought by those experiencing homosexual difficulties. 2. Throughout the work it is very much easier to find apparent condonation of irregularities than positive precepts for guidance, and the latter, when found, are often vague. I am afraid that the booklet may be used as an excuse for misbehaviour, by those who have not troubled, or have not wished, to make sure of its real meaning. 3. An altogether disproportionate part of the work is devoted to homosexuality. Granted that these problems exist, let them be viewed in proportion. It may be that homosexual feelings are common to a greater or less degree, and are "natural". But surely this is not to condone homosexual acts, which are essentially unnatural. 4. The general statement on sexual morality to be found on page 40 can be accepted as sound, but does not seem to go far enough. It does not sufficiently emphasise that, besides the two people most directly concerned, the effects of their behaviour on others must be fully taken into account. This must include not only any child which might be born as a result of their action, but any child which either party may have at any time in the future. Our society depends essentially on the family as a stable unit within which the development of our children may proceed, and if we depart from this principle, the only logical conclusion is a society such as that depicted in all its horror in Huxley's Brave New World. I believe that the sexual act, potentially resulting in the birth of a child, should only occur between a couple in the state of stability and mutual responsibility represented by a permanent marriage. 5. Throughout the essay, it seems to be accepted that no friendship between two people can exist without a sexual element, but I profoundly disagree. Man has an intellect and powers of communication denied to the lower animals, and I am convinced that many friendships, based on intellectual communion, contain no element of sex whatever. 6. While not presuming to condemn those indulging in extramarital sexual relationships, surely one can say that, in every case, it would have been better for the temptation to be resisted? J. Bowman Brockbank 35 Spring Hill Park, Lower Penn, Wolverhampton. I would like to express by gratitude to the group of Friends who have written Towards a Quaker View of Sex for their wisdom, compassion and, to me, Christian approach. This deep appreciation I have found especially among younger members of my Meeting and among friends of my own outside the Society. It has also, to my knowledge, aroused real interest among professional people, particularly those connected with the administration of education and health. Marjorie E. South. 5 St. Andrew's Avenue, Windsor. Letters to the Editor March 29, 1963 Towards a Quaker View of Sex In the editorial note which prefaces the pamphlet Towards a Quaker View of Sex a concern, as understood by the Society of Friends, is defined in Roger Wilson's words as: "A gift from God, a leading of his Spirit which may not be denied." Throughout its history the Society has realised the profound importance of such a call and that this must lie at the root of creative action. But is has also realised, through bitter experience, that the individual or the small group may easily mistake their own desires and hasty impulses for the divine gift, and has therefore devised the equally important means of checking a concern against the judgment and spiritual experience of a wider body of Friends, gathered in a Monthly, Quarterly, or Yearly Meeting. The importance and necessity of this check is the point in the discussions on the publication of the pamphlet, save in the letter of Mary Milligan, published in THE FRIEND of March 8. Whatever views individual Friends may hold on the contents of the pamphlet, no one can doubt that the group has been working for five years under a most deep sense of concern as defined above. That is not in question. Again, however much individuals may disagree with their findings, all must be grateful to our Friends for facing so courageously and frankly some of the most difficult problems of personal life. The fact remains that a great deal of unnecessary pain and trouble has been caused, because they were not prepared to share their concern with Friends for the testing and enrichment of a wider judgment, before issuing it to the public at large. Two courses were open to the authors of the pamphlet. First, as individuals they could have published it privately under some such title as Wilfrid Allott suggests (The Friend, March 22) and without the imprint of a Quaker committee. If they wished their work to go out over such an imprint and bearing the word "Quaker" in the title, then the only right course would have been for one or more of the group to have brought the concern to the Quarterly Meeting of their membership, asking if the Meeting felt it right that it should go forward to Meeting for Sufferings. Or, alternatively, they could have sought the means of approaching Meetings for Sufferings direct. They would then have given Friends the opportunity for entering into their concern with understanding, and might have gone forward to the public strengthened by the conviction and prayer of their fellow-members. If this meant a delay in publication, we would ask Friends to consider carefully where the modern sense of haste may lead us. Our Friends had spent five years in their deliberations; a few more months would have meant little one way or the other. As Mary Milligan suggests, in our modern impatience our perspectives of time are all awry. Once the importance of the group check is overlooked and the sharing of a concern with a wider body of Friends is set aside as time-wasting and unnecessary, we are indeed in the quicksands. If the claim of an individual or an ad hoc group to speak or act in the name of the Society on the strength of their personal conviction alone is accepted, the door is set wide open to that anarchy and "Ranterism" whose dangers are always liable to beset the Quaker movement, as George Fox was the first to realise. The understanding of concern, together with the necessary check, is unique to our Society. It is by faithful adherence to and following of this way that the Society has been enabled on more than one occasion to strike out in a new direction which in the eyes of the world, and even to some of its own members, has seemed revolutionary. Peter Scott. Richenda Scott. Tree Anna, Dwyran, Anglesey. Many Friends, especially probably older Friends, will have read your correspondence columns recently with some dismay. One of the great surprises concerning the publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex is the number of Friends who are quite happy about substituting for the traditional "Thou shalt not commit adultery" the theme of the essay, "You should not commit adultery, unless you think you have sufficient reason to do so." It was regrettable enough that we, as Friends, were to some extent implicated by the publicity given to the views of a tiny, unrepresentative group, who had every reason to know that their views would be quite unacceptable to many Friends, but the resultant developments have been much more serious. The Home Service Committee has appeared to be very content about the essay and unduly pleased at the enormous secular publicity and comment upon it, even in the least desirable section of the Press. Moreover, Meeting for Sufferings quite obviously did not wish to discuss the content of this matter, which as drawn more public controversial comment and attention to the Society than any matter for a hundred years. Quite obviously, Friends who are not prepared to agree, in these days, to the relaxing of the Christian moral code, which we have always regarded as an elementary principle, will have to reappraise their views of the value of membership of our Society, of whose standards we have, in the past, felt some pride. Wallace Hancock. 8 Barclay Oval, Woodford Wells, Essex. The writer of "Why a New Morality?" in THE FRIEND (March 22) asks whether the authors of Towards a Quaker View of Sex have "been too concerned with abnormal behaviour" and "over-influenced by psychological and sociological considerations at the expense of religious ones". This view seems to me to raise important issues. Much of what is called "abnormal" behaviour is merely exaggerated "normal" behaviour. In studying it we come to know more about ourselves, about "the shadow side of each one of us". To say of this study that "a better way is not to blur the distinction between good and evil in society but to confess the active presence of sin in our own natures" is to confuse two types of human activity, religion and psychology. What is meant is: "My moral code, derived from my religious faith, tells me that what the psychologists call 'behaviour difficulties' is another and evasive name for sin." Further evidence of this interpretation of the writer's attitude comes later in the article. He argues that "crucial periods" of decision are not "appropriate occasions for reassessing moral values". True; but if by the time the moment of decision has been reached a "new morality" has already been accepted, the decision, influenced by this morality, should not be judged by the "old" morality. To speak then of being "held back from an act of adultery" and "saved from one blunder" is irrelevant and misleading. What is in question is the extent that we allow "religious" standards to govern our lives. And it is here that the new pamphlet is creatively modern. It seems to me to be written in what the Bishop of Woolwich has called a spirit of "glad acceptance of secularisation as a God-given fact". It may be that "Christian understanding has been both enriched and confused by psychology and sociology", but whole spheres of human activity which a century ago were governed by religious taboos are now open to rational consideration by means of those two disciplines. To say that in Quaker thinking and Quaker teaching "the religious attitude" should be pre-eminent over "the analytical attitude" and "the social attitude" is to set in opposition activities which need not conflict. Christ's life was lived love. His teaching is falsified when it is hardened into a moral code. The increasing secularisation of life means that we have less and less need to live our lives according to precepts derived from this false code. Christ's life can once again be active and spiritual, the ground of our being. This is what should be meant by being religious; its standard is nothing less than "Be ye perfect!" It is also the answer to the question "Why a new morality?" Pat Radley Penhaven, Winscombe, Somerset. My copy of Towards a Quaker View of Sex is now in the hands of a Roman Catholic student at this University. This is after it has been used in a discussion group of the Presbyterian and Congregational Society and in a discussion group on Christianity and Sex. It has been recommended in a psychology tutorial group and many students I know have bought copies of their own. Much interest has been aroused by it within the student population and praise that something new and relevant should come out of the Christian Church. Certainly its publication has stimulated much lively discussion and, if for this reason alone, has been worth while. Judith Maddocks. Union Room, Nottingham University. Letters to the Editor April 5, 1963 Towards a Quaker View of Sex Wallace Hancock (THE FRIEND, March 29) invokes "The Christian moral code, which we have always regarded as an elementary principle", and writes of "our Society, of whose standards we have, in the past, felt some pride". This seems to pinpoint the crux of the controversy. Would not George Fox have dismissed "elementary principles" as "notions", and is not a "moral code" a creed if it is to be the basis of membership of a religious society? Have these things (or pride) anything to do with what is really the Quaker interpretation of Christianity? Albert Carr 45 Wealden Way, Bexhill-on-Sea, Sussex. If Christ were to speak the truths of his Sermon on the Mount today, some Friends would protest in your columns because he had not submitted his concern to the "judgment and spiritual experience of...Monthly, Quarterly or Yearly Meeting". And others would claim he spoke for a "tiny, unrepresentative group". How can Richenda and Peter Scott imply that the concern of a group of the most responsible and intelligent members of the Society, published after five years' deliberation, under the auspices of the Home Service Committee (with suitable and prominent warnings, and with a suitably qualified title), have anything to do with "Ranters"? Monthly, Quarterly, Yearly Meetings are not infallible. We hear the clear and lovely voice of reason, truth, God. Instead of crying, "Thank God!" a minority of our Friends would muffle the voice because it conflicts with old rules and established forms. If they so believe in the value of "group check", one wonders why they do not submit their own views to that check, before rushing to print. Charles Davey 44 High Street, BIllingborough, Sleaford, Lincs. I wish to support wholeheartedly the letters that you have received from Mary Milligan and Peter and Richenda Scott. One of the matters that is so disturbing regarding the publication of this pamphlet is the lack of judgment of the Home Service Committee in not seeing that here was a controversial issue about which Meeting for Sufferings had to be consulted. While it is right that the Home Service Committee should reconsider its procedure on publication of literature, this will do no good unless there is a change of heart on the part of the Committee. It is essential for all central committees and their principal officers to recognise that they have a responsibility to consult Meeting for Sufferings or Yearly Meeting before making any major departures on matters of policy. There is a danger which is already evident that the authority of Meeting for Sufferings and Yearly Meeting will be formal only, and that the standing committees will be masters in their own houses and responsible in practice to nobody. I am personal concerned at the increasing tendency of the Home Service Committee to act as it publicity of any kind is good for its own safe, and I think this gives often a false picture of the Society to those interested in learning about it. I hope that it will not be long before this question is seriously considered by Yearly Meeting. I agree that the Friends who produced the pamphlet should have brought their concerns before their Monthly or Quarterly Meetings to test the views of a wider group of Friends. On the other hand, many Monthly and Quarterly Meetings have not been imaginative in encouraging Friends to raise concerns on wider issues and have concentrated too much on routine business. It has also been clear in recent years how very few matters have come to Yearly Meeting via the traditional method of Monthly and Quarterly Meetings, and as a result many topics of real concern have not been discussed, partly because they are or a controversial nature. This is illustrated by the experience of the recent Revision Committee, which wished to include in Christian Faith and Practice extracts on a number of important questions from corporate Quaker decisions but completely failed to find such extracts. This particular discussion may well be useful if it emphasises the duty of all of us to encourage greater discussion of matters of general interest at meetings for church affairs. It may well help to stimulate greater interest in our business meetings and encourage Friends to bring their concerns through the front door and not the back stairs. Richard E. Stagg 12 St. Peters Close, St. Albans, Herts. Although the pamphlet on sex has been greeted with some appreciation by many who welcome this statement of the basic principles of sexual behaviour (which are available in textbooks and popular works), this offering should surely be weighed on the merits of what it purports to be. It is not entitled Some Elementary Considerations on Sex, as one would perhaps expect, but Towards a Quaker View of Sex. If our Friends are to point the way towards a new Quaker view of sex, their suggestions will proceed in the direction which has been followed by Quakerism from the beginning. "A new morality" of itself does not frighten Friends. But what morality? We must consider these suggestions to make sure that their polarisation is true, that they point in the direction in which Friends have found the Light shines. One of the characteristic testimonies of Friends has been a testimony for truth and faithfulness to commitments undertaken. Are we to exempt loyalties between men and women, which involve the very springs of our being, from the standard of truth? Most Friends today live out their lives in the midst of the temptations of social groups in which the "enrichment" of personal experience is overvalued. Week by week Friends are finding in the Meeting the faith and the strength they need for living in a complex world. These can testify that those who seek the will of God are indeed protected in the very midst of temptation. "Love seeketh not her own." Those who minds are filled with active love are little troubled by temptation to "enrich" their own emotional experience at the cost of another's confidence. The Meeting, we still believe, offers support and encouragement to men and women who wish to shepherd their thoughts and guard their conducts. Friends can still invite the perplexed and the troubled to share our fellowship, assuring them that they do not stand alone in seeking of way of life which is peace. George Fox's saying that he was living in a life and power which took away the occasion for war may provide us with an analogy in this regard. Friends have always found in the life of the Spirit that life and power which takes away the occasion for unlovely behaviour in a great many respects. "A new morality" was proposed for Friends by George Fox, and early Quaker marriages were not legitimated for many years. But his changes were always in the direction of the "new morality" taught by Jesus. A "new morality" was offered to us by Jesus, and if Friends are to afford leadership in our contemporary society, we shall do well to examine the direction of his innovations and make sure that we are going in the same direction, advancing and not regressing. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus proposed a revision of the law of Moses in four respects (Matthew v). To prohibit killing, he pointed out, left untouched its roots in resentment and contempt. Adultery he traced back to the wayward thought. Oaths, he pointed out, were superfluous when men can be relied on for simple honesty. The old revenge principle of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, he said, should be superseded by a new morality of non-resistance. We must ask ourselves why Friends have been so passionately committed to Christ's "new morality" of peace and non-resistance; and have suffered death rather than swear an oath; but have overlooked this other principle of Jesus' "new morality". Probably it is because Friends have taken personal rectitude in these matters for granted. Chastity, it was thought, was surely a sine qua non. Chastity, like the other commandments, was raised by Jesus to become a thing of the heart and spirit. If it is no longer taken for granted, perhaps the time has come for our Society to raise a standard to which the good and simple-hearted may repair, to say clearly that we believe that sexual integrity is a part of the Quaker way of life, and that a part of our service is to encourage and aid those who find the going hard in this day of blurred values and shifting social patterns. Helen Richards 93 Thames Drive, Leigh-on-Sea, Essex. Letters to the Editor April 19, 1963 "Towards a Quaker View of Sex" Peter and Richenda Scott (March 29) and Richard E. Staff (April 5) appear to have introduced to the correspondence on Towards a Quaker View of Sex a quite separate issue--that of whether the Society's Committee should be allowed to publish unofficial books or essays. The suggestion that Towards a Quaker View of Sex should have been submitted to Meeting for Sufferings or to Monthly or Quarterly Meetings strikes me as meaningless. It is essentially a thought-provoking essay; as such it is open to valid criticism both in terms of content and balance and possibly choice of title. It is inconceivable that such an essay could be accepted officially by the Society; and if it has been submitted before publication to Meeting for Sufferings it would have been hypocritical to publish it subsequently as an unofficial document. Yet surely the publication of responsible unofficial books or essays is vital to our Society's corporate growth in terms of stimulating and developing thought? Like many others I don't personally agree with the entire essay in question, and I am sure its authors don't expect or desire such complete endorsement from their readers. But in terms of caring, study and knowledge it is clearly an important and authoritative document by a well-qualified group of Friends. In my judgment the Home Service Committee would have been acting irresponsibly if it has refused publication. Surely our three Friends are not seriously wishing to suggest that the Society's Committees should publish only official documents approved by the whole Society? To take a more fundamental, though perhaps less emotionally charged example, would they have deprecated the publication by the Home Service Committee of a book, such as Honest to God, as an unofficial contribution to essential thought of a kind that couldn't possibly be endorsed officially by the whole Society? Richard S. Rowntree Brooke House, Thornton-le-dale, Pickering, Yorkshire. On the method of publication of Towards a Quaker View of Sex, surely this may be said. Had the orthodox procedure been followed on such a controversial subject, the inevitable result would have been a compromise statement, soothing to Friends, but void of meaning to outsiders unversed in Friends' methods. As matters stand, it was made clear in the publication, and on the BBC, that this was not an official publication and the Press were very thoughtful in generally emphasising this point. If the result is considered in terms of "outreach" towards agnostics, to whom it may be though that Friends have something to offer, surely what may happen is this. Whether they agree with the theme or not, many will be inclined to think that, even in their differences, Friends are confirmed seekers after truth--and not only in such matters as their Peace Testimony. This may induce some of them to explore that Society. They may then find that not all Friends are agreed on the terms of the pamphlet, or indeed on other matters, but may be impressed by our attempts to live up to the motto which appears every week in THE FRIEND: "In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things charity." Wilson Dove. 117 Moorside North, Newcastle upon Tyne 4. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Letters to The Friend 1963 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Reproduced by permission of<em> The Friend:</em> February 22; March 1; March 8; March 15; March 22; March 29; April 5; and April 19, 1963. Description An account of the resource A large volume of letters--supporting and decrying TQVOS--were received by The Friend. Several letters were published in each biweekly issue over two months. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7e867a0471368a8c2b288eb0b446fd84.pdf 88a12ee956b3180a846c32cfc9b50647 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1985 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1 D JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM D NO.1 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: "Being a Reconciler" .... .. .6 by Virginia Hilton ,'Reconciliation Rediscovered" ... .. 8 by Joseph Weber "Estrangement Can Be Overcome" .... 11 by Howard and Millie Eychaner Resources: An Annotated Bibliography . ... ... 15 VOL. 1 D NO.1 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community life. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries the program provides resource materials including Manna for the Journey. Regional enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 CONTRIBUTING TO THIS ISSUE: Mark Bowman Joanne Brown Bruce Calvin Howard Eychaner In this, our inaugural edition of Manna for the Journey, we have sketched a conceptual framewor~nd--a theological context for the Reconciling Congregation Program. Along with this, we have provided resources for those who choose to be reconcilers. In "Reconciliation Rediscovered" (p.S) Joseph Weber reminds us of the New Testament portrayal of reconciliation and applies that to the ministry of the church with lesbians and gay men. Howard and Millie Eychanershare the joy of reconciling with a gay son and offer a paradigm for the church in "Estrangement Can Be Overcome" (p.11). Thoughts on "Being a Reconc; ler" (p.6)within the local church are offered by Virginia Hilton. In the RESOURCES section (p.15) we offer an annotated bibliography of printed and media resources which can be helpful for those searching for more information on lesbian and gay concerns within a religious context. Appreciat ion for the compilation and notation of these resources goes to Bruce Calvin, librarian at GeorgeWashington University, and John Hannay, graduate of Wesley Theological Seminary. Joanne Brown provides a brief meditation and worship resources in SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p.14). Dr. Brown is Assistant Professor of Religion at Pacific Lutheran University and an elder in the Rocky Mountain Conference (UMC) • Two gay clergy reflect on the experience of "being in exile" from the church in their LEITERS (p. 3). Finally, we celebrate the first year of the Reconciling Congregation Program by introducing some of the first Reconciling Congregations in the section, RCP REPORT (p.4). We hope you find Manna for the Journey to be a helpful and stimulating resource,--ooth to your personal journey of faith and to your local church. We welcome your comments and suggestions! Millie Eychaner Bradley Rymph John Hanna y B. J. Stiles Virginia Hilton Joseph C. Weber Beth Richardson Graphic Artist: Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns ~r~uiNC9 for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is .10 for four issues. Single-COpies are available for .3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington. D.C. 20026 Copyright 1985 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. 2 / Manna jor the Journey I Ep.istles fromExiles The action of the 1984 Un i ted Me t hodis t lie. Neither fulfills the promise of the Gospel that we should have life and have it more abundantly as men and women of faith. Having "sailed away II from this place of turbulence and hurt, I can only try to be faithful from the edges: to do theology at the tials in 1971: For the past thirteen years while annually seeking to have my credentials restored I have had to guard against thinking of myself as someone on the outside trying to get back in. know that I am still a minGeneral Conference which margins. But the task for ister in the Church Univerbanned the ordination or those of us in this situasal and the Church in Exile. appointment of lesbian tion is fairly easy and (The day my credentials were and gay clergy, has inclear: all we need to do is suspended the church's janitensified the rift beto sing the Lord's song in a tor comforted me with: tween lesbians and gay strange land knowing that "Someone up there gave you men and the UMC. The our Shepherd, who knows all credentials they can't begin feeling of "being in the sheep, will recognize to touch!") Within the local exile" from the church our voices and keep us safe. church I have profoundly has been articulated by Here, in our exile, our missed the regular chores many lesbians and gay of preaching, teaching, and words and our life may bemen as indicative of administering the sacracome integrated; this is the their experience. The me n t s . (I doge t to singin promise of our exile. response to being in an As for those who remain the choir and serve on exilic state may differ in the center, it is ever so committees.) For the most from individual to indipart, I see myself as a much more difficult. They vidual. Two gay clergy missionary within the UMC have yet to love us as even share their ideas on the and not a very welcome one our Lord has loved us. They experience of exile from at that! have yet to trust the meanthe church. ing of the Eucharist and the Secondly I remember that inclusive table on which it Romans 8:28 is eternally is spread. They have yet to * * * * * * true: all things do work for understand the meaning of good for those who love God. the Parable of the Laborers "When you feel your song is In setting me free from the orchestrated wrong, economic and political apron, in the Vineyard. Why should you prolong your These things must all be strings of the UMC, God has stay? accomplished in the process tremendously enriched my When the wind and weather of bringing us home from the mi n i s try. No, it is my 1i fe exile -home to familiar blow your dreams sky-high, which has been enriched! ports, to see welcome flags Sail away, sail away, sail Especially do I thank God away. II -Noel Coward flying, and to break the for my gay and lesbian United Methodist brothers bread of life in the circle and sisters; when "straight" This is the season to where we truly belong. sail away. The decisions of families have withdrawn from United Methodism about homo- Anonymous me, God has given me new Washington, D.C. sexual clergy have created families. When ministry was rough seas for those gay men taken from me, new miniand lesbians who are in the stries were given to me. * * * * * * * ministry and wish to affirm Freedom IS just another word their spirituality and their for nothing left to lose! There are two observasexuality. tions which are most vivid We were essentially giv- Gene Leggett for me since the suspending en two options: leave or of my ministerial creden- Dallas, TX Manna for the Journey / 3 Over the past year, eleven united Methodist congregations have made the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. These congregations reflect the diversity of individuals and local churches which are found in the larger church. Some of them decided to become Reconciling Congregations to symbolize that their ministry is open to all persons. Others have engaged in ministries with lesbians and gay men in their community for years, and are now publicly affirming their commitment. The stories of these congregations are illustrative of the struggle of a community to be faithful to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To celebrate the healing presence which these congregations embody within the church and the world we present portraits of some of them. * * * * * * * Bethany UMC-San Francisco,CA Bethany is a small urban church. Its diverse congregation includes a Philippino family, elderly widows, young women, and gay men. Bethany has 125 members, but itls a congregation which is struggling to survive. Bethany has a program of worship services and small group fellowship. The congregation has a long history of participation by lesbians and gay men. Several years ago, the church raised $1200 to support an urban ministry intern who was gay. The current lay leader of the congregation is a gay man. Bethany voted to become a Reconciling Congregation after learning of the program in a denominational publication. Central UMC -Toledo, OH Central is an inner-city church, part of a community which is diverse economically, racially, and politically. The congregation was founded in 1896. Until 1940 it was part of a stable residential neighborhood. Since then the community has undergone change. The church of just under 100 members, consists primarily of retired people and gay men and lesbians. Central provides a thrift store for the communi ty several days a week. It became involved in gay and lesbian issues in 1979 when a lesbian/gay group began meeting there. Edgehill UMC -Nashville, TN EdgehlTT was formed in the early 1960 ls in response to the need for ministry in the arena of racial justice in Nashville. It is an innercity congregation of 250 members with a rainbow of ages, races, and economic backgrounds. Commitment to outreach ministries is required of members. Edgehillis ministries include a soup kitchen, an afternoon program for children, hunger relief, and prison ministry. The congregation became involved in lesbian/gay concerns a number of years ago when the local Metropolitan Community Church began meeting there. .. ,-~ '. I . . St. Paul IS UMC -Denver, CO ---St. PaUl's celebrated its 125th anniversary last year. It was one of the first congregations in the city of Denver. The membership of 70 is comprised of single persons, apartmentdwellers and the elderly. The church houses the Colorado AIDS Project, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and an adult education program. St. Paulls has been involved in lesbian and gay issues since 1981 when a gay clergyman, Julian Rush, was appointed there as pastor. In September 1984 the congregation hosted the national meeting of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. su~n~hills UMC-Milpitas, CA unnyhiTTS was founded 27 yea rs ago ina un i on hall and grew out of issues surrounding the United Auto Workers. It has always been a "social justice" church. The congregation of about 100 members is located in the gredter San Jose area, the "Silicon Valley." Sunnyhills' members are involved in peacemaking work and the sanctuary movement 4 / Manna for the Journey for refugees. A study on homosexuality in November 1983 began Sunnyhills' process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. The congregation participates in joint events with the San Jose Metropolitan Community Church. wallin,ford UMC-Seattle, WA Wa lingford was an Evangelical United Brethren congregation founded around the time of World War I. While membership in the congregation is 75, about 100 persons attend worship each week. The congregation is made up of primarily young, middle-class, single persons and families with children. Wallingford hosts the Women's Center for Christian Ministry and has groups active in economic justice and peacemaking issues. The congregation works closely with a local Affirmation group. Wallingford began its involvement with gay/lesbian concerns in 1983 and engaged in a process of study and discussion leading to the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. gainst Racism ,Everywhere. A conference on homosexuality and the ministry was held at Washington Square in 1977. A New York Times article in conneCfiOn -with that conference identified the pastor, Paul Abels, as a gay, ordained clergyman. Abels served the congregation until his retirement in June 1984. Washington Square has been active in ministries with persons with AIDS. A member, Charles Bergner, related his struggle with AIDS in an interview with the United Methodist Reporter in July 1983. Wesley UMC -Fresno, CA Wesley was formed eleven years ago from the merger of First UMC and a small UM congregation located near Fresno State University. In moving to the University area, eight miles from downtown a covenant was made to continue involvement in and financial support for Fresno Metro Ministries, an advocacy agency for low-income persons. One of Wes ley's ministries is a Southeast plight of lesbians and gay men within the church. At present, Wesley has a lesbian/gay support group meeting weekly and conducts educational events on "Sexual Identity and the Christian Canmunity." Wheadon UMC -Evanston, IL Wheaaon, organized in 1888, is a congregation committed to justice. Its ministries address concerns for economic justice, peace with justice, racial justice, sexual justice (homophobia), and sexual justice (sexism). The congregation of 125 members functions with "designated pastors" in a system designed to be egalitarian and participatory. Wheadon's ongoing ministries include Bible study, church school, church-wide suppers, and public sanctuary for illegal refugees. In 1983 Wheadon became the first congregation to sign the Methodist Federation for Social Action's "Covenant of Compassion and Solidarity with Homosexual Persons." * * * * * * Washington Square UMC -New York, NY Washington Square is an historic congregation in the life of lesbian and gay persons of faith. Located in the Greenwich Village area, the congregation of 75 members has opened its building and ministries to the surrounding lesbian and gay community. Ministries include: Gay Men's Health Crisis, gay/lesbian poetry readings, Black and White Men Together, and Dykes A- Asian organizing project which provides recreation and education for refugees who live in the neighborhood of the church. Wesley attracts Christians who are interested in the social implications of the Gospel, many of whom are involved in people-serving work in the community. The congregation became involved in gay and lesbian concerns through the advocacy of the pastor, Don Fado, who has stressed inclusiveness, with special mention for the We will continue to share information on these and other Reconciling Congregations in future issues of Manna for the Journey. If you would like a complete listing of Reconciling Congregations or information on how a local church can become a Reconciling Congregation, write to: Reconci ling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey / 5 • In a Rev. Virginia Hilton is the pastor of Albany United Methodist Church in Albany, California. In 1979 I was a pastor serving in myfirst local church, newly graduated from seminary, and still working toward elder's orders. One Fr iday, just as I was leaving for a district clergy meeting, my second son (of four) asked to talk to me. He and a friend were leading a young adult discussion group that Sunday. Their subject was human sexuality and they had decided to share what it feels like to be a closeted gay man or lesbi an in the chur ch community. They • ler were "coming out" in that group, and Phil wanted to discuss with me first how that would affect me. He was fearful that his being gay and out of the closet might somehow hurt ~ ordination. I had felt for a long time that Phil was gay, but I had wanted him to tell me, so the news he shared came with a sense of relief, I think, for both of us. No more pretending, no more covering up, no more not being able to respond to his pain. I had several years to prepare for this moment -to read what I could find on homosexuality (which wasn't much in those days!) and to begin accept my own sexual feelings. As I look back on that moment I'm sure there were some feelings of judgment, but the predominate feeling was that of fe ar for him, of helplessness. I could not protect him from homophobic people in society. I could not protect him from the "gay-bashing" which was taking place in San Francisco, from the job discrimination; I couldn't do all that much to protect him from rel atives for whom being gay would be considered a sin and an abomination. ~e hugged a lot and cried a little, and I tried to assure Phil that his coming out would not affect my ministry or my ordination process. I hurri ed off to my meeting , but as I drove Route 24 t hrough t he tunnel from Berkeley I realized that there was an anxiety about myministry at the local church. I needed to talk to a more seasoned colleague about my uneasiness. During a break ;n the meeting I had a chance to share what Phil had told me 6 / Manna for the Journey with a friend I trusted, one who had been fairly sensitive on other issues. His f irst response was physical. He edged away from me, almost imperceptibly, but the dist ance might as well have been one hundred miles. He also edged away from me emoti onally . Hi s verbal response was, "Don't talk about that with your congregation! That's opening up another can of worms! " (1 tend to be rather outspoken on issues of justice.) I felt no empathy from this otherwise pastoral friend. There was no concern for me or for Phil . My friend simply could not relate to me. The physical and emotional distanci ng said it all. Judgment was there , clear and strong. He changed the subject after a few inane comments and a joke about being gay. 1 felt betrayed! Gay men and lesbians have to ld me much more painful stories abo ut their rejecti on within the church. If they had been willi ng to live a life of denial, a life of repressed anger and self-doubt, they would have fit beautiful ly within the church fami ly. It was when they decided to claim their identity publicly and t he power that goes with that, that some church people responded with hatred, j udgment, separation . Sometimes that reaction is never named, but is expressed in avoidance of issues, usiny manufactured excuses to force gay men and les bians out . What is our responsibility, as both clergy and laity , in raising concerns about lesbians and gay men within our congregations? What can we do to bringabout reconciliation between the homophobic ones in a congregation, and gay men and lesbians who would still like to be part of the redeemed and redeemingfellowship? Fr om my own struggle I have learned that to be truly reconciling I must fac e mY own homophobia -that irrational fear, both psycho-soc ial and sexual-genital, of same-sex relationships. I have not been gay or lesbian. I do not know what they experience. Deep withi n me there are fears and anxieties and judgment, that try as I may, just are there. But as I open ly recognize that , I am freed to deal with those feelings. It helps to have gay and lesbi an friends who gently confront me about my homophobic feelings. (Their ministry t o me !) As a reconci ler, I need to recognize the roots of the irrational fear of same-sex relationships. In the Protestant tradi tion we ha ve been steeped in a heritage of dualism which splits spiritand body; the belief that the immortal spirit is held temporary prisoner in a mortal body, which is evil and corrupt. Salvation is interpreted then, as escapefrom the "flesh" into the spirituallife. I need to face how that du alism affects my attitude toward my body. Can I appreciate my physical self as a short (1 always wanted to be tall!), overweight, middle-aged woman? Sometimes that' s hard! I also need to accept my sexuality as a gracious gift f rom God who I am as a human being, the masculine and feminine in me. If 1 cannot accept my body/spirit as one, then same-sex relationships are fearful to me -since in my homophobia I would tend to identify gay men and lesbians by sexual behavior alone. That triggers in me not just a fear of samesex feelings I may have, but a fear of sexual feelings, peri od! As a reconc i ler, lOy ca11 is to proclaim the good news of salvati on to all. When we begin to accept ourselves as both masculine and fem inine we discover t hat the el imination of sex-role stereotypes is liberating . We are then able to accept others as they are, as spiritual and sexual beings created by God. The process I struggle with in accepti ng myself must be made available to heterosexual men and women , as well as to lesbi ans and gay men. That involves being vulnerable, but I don't t hink there is any way to avoid vulnerability in the reconciling process. As a reconci ler, I am called to lead all people of the Church, straight and gay, to attitudes of responsi bl e sexual expression. If the sexual self is used as object, then we are alienated from our divinely-intended sexuali ty -and that is sin . As a reconciler, I am called to love those who are homophobic, realizi ng how painful and how frightening it is to change and grow. Our traditional approa ch to homosexuality, our fears of our own sexuality, our agility at prooftexting scripture without al lowing the winds of God's spirit to bring us in- Manna for the Journey / 7 sights of experience, reason, and unconditional love, have built some sturdywalls. My responsibility is to create an atmosphere of acceptance in which change can happen. And that takes a lot of prayer, study, and discussion (don't underestim'ate the power of the Spirit working with you!). Homophobic people in my congregation need to know that I care for them in their pain. To paraphrase an old adage from a prophet of social justice whom I admire: "preach against homophobia, and pastor li ke hell!" I appreciate the steps suggested bythe Reconciling Congregation Program, with emphasis on study, discussion, and prayer, recognizing that the processdoes take ti me. I would suggest getting some help in the study and discussion. Hear the oft-forgotten voices of gay men and lesbians who are willing to be partof that proc~ss. I have a distinct advantage because my son has given me permission to share his experiences -sometimes in my sermons. This has resulted in a kind of giving permission for other parents of lesbians and gay men to come to me wi th gratitude and support. One of the other-steps in the Reconciling Congregation Program that should not be om itted is writing a statement of reconciliation for the congregation. Developing a covenant and being able to celebrate the process by which we arrived at a covenant -this is crucial, for there is something about writing out that makes the relationshiplegitimate:This has been a difficult article to write, I think, because I know that often I am not reconciling. So I need to recognize that there are times when reconciliation is just not possible. People who are homophobic may be too frigh t ened to change; lesbians and gay men may have too much his t ory of pain to be able to accept the ministry of the church family. And if I have loved and cared for people to the extent I have let t he Spirit empower me, then the failure to reconcile is not my personalfailure. There will be people leaving t he church over t~ssue of homophobia.That may bring growth and change and new possibilities for reconciliation. Pray that it be so! Dr. Joseph C. Weber is Professor of Biblical Theology at Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. In coming to gri~~ with an understanding of reconciliation which illuminates our faith journey we c~n begin at the roots of our heritage. It is in the scriptures that we uncover the kernel of meaning which we can then translate into our lives today. For this primal understanding we turn to the letters of Paul. In two powerful passages in his letters, St. Paul uses the word reconciliation ("katalage" in Greek) as he writes of the saving event of Christ's death on the Cross. In the opening chapters of Romans, Paul tells us that, 8 / Manna for the Journey despite our weak, unrighteous sinful natures, we have been justified by Christ. As humans, we had tried to master our own destiny and rebelled against God. As rebellious enemies of God, we had lost our true humanity and had been subjected to the power of sin and death _(Romans 1:20-21;3:23). Then in chapter 5, verse 10, where Paul introduces the word reconciliation. he puts it particularly strongly: h\~hile we were eneruies, we were reconciled to God. 1I We were not reconciled to God because we deserved it nor were we reconciled because some of us were better or more moral than others. No, all of us were enemies of God. God, however, has reconciled us, God's enemies. Paul makes it clear that reconciliation is something God does on our behalf. God has changed the human situation. Reconciliation is, therefore, not a human possibility. It is completely and absolutely an act of divine mercy, which brings about a new reality. In a second passage, II Corinthians 5:18-21, Paul writes of reconciliation in terms of a new creation. In verse 17, he declares, "If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation. 1I God has reconciled the world to God's self in order to bring to fruition the creation. One is now free to live in the world in a new and grac i ous way. Paul concludes this section in II Corinthians by noting, IIFor our sake, God made Christ to be sin who knew no sin so that in Christ we might become the righteousness of God. 1I The reconciliation of the world was a costly act in Christ Jesus, God entered the domain of sin. Paul understands sin not primarily in moral terms, as breaking moral laws or failing to live up to certain standards. Rather, sin, to Paul, is an aggressive, perverting power that causes humans to live in illusion, to walk in self-deception, to rebel against God, and, fi na lly , to fall prey to death (Romans 5:12-14). Christ came into the world under this power of sin and death and freed us. It cost the life of God's son on the cross. It is not just the isolated individual, not just the pious, not just the righteous, but the ungodly, rebellious world that has been reconciled to God and thereby, changed into a new creation. Our reconciliation to God has given us back our genuine humanity as children of God. Reconciliation is an objective, effective, divine change of reality. God in Christ has come into our sinful world, has become subjected to the power of sin, and by his death has destroyed the power of sin over us, reconciling us to God's self. This is the astonishing news of the Gospel. This proclamation by Paul must be understood within the context of the resistance of the self-righteousness of Israel. The Jews of Paul's time wanted to build on their own righteousness. It was unthinkable to them that God would put an end to the Law as a way of salvation (Romans 10:4; Galatians 2:21). Even more unthinkable was that this should happen through the death of a radical Jew dying on a Roman cross. Against such protests, Paul interprets the Cross as the redemptive act of God through which the reconciliation of the ungodly takes place (Galatians 3:13). The people of Israel who pursued righteousness based on the Law, by contrast, did not succeed in reaching God's righteousness (Romans 9:31-32). Paul declares that those who think they can gain life by their own moral integrity are bound to resist the proclamation of the Cross. Reconciliation on the Cross remains for them, a scandal. Paul's interpretation of the Cross reflects Jesus' own ministry. The Pharisees resisted Jesus because he exhibited a sovereign freedom in anticipation of the coming of the Kingdom of God. Jesus reversed the Law's concerns, declaring that the Law is not an end in Manna jor the Journey / 9 ~~~ itself, but is there to serve human beings (Mark 2:27). Jesus celebrated the presence of the Kingdom of God by inviting tax collectors and sinners to join him and his disciples in festival meals, acts that enraged the Pharisees because eating with the tax collectors and sinners was in total disregard of the Law (Matthew 11:19; Mark 2:15; Luke 8:2-3). Yet, as acts of joy and of deadly protest against the old order, those meals became a parable of the reconciling presence of God in the midst of humanity. Jesus sealed this reconciling presence of God once and for all in his death on the Cross. God vindicated Jesus' open fellowship and established it for all people. As Paul wrote: "God was in Christ reconciling the world to God's se1f" (II Corinthians 5:19). This new fellowship was the church, the sign and reality of God's act of reconciliation of the world. After announcing God's reconciliation in Christ, Paul calls the Christians in Corinth to be ambassadors for Christ. Reconciliation as the new reality of humankind is to be witnessed to, and made concrete, in the life of the church. In the community of believers the world is to see what it already truly is in Christ and what the world's final destiny is. To the church, to us, has been entrusted the message of reconciliation. Unfortunately we must confess that the church has not always been -and still not always is -a sign of God's reconciliation of the world. Frequently, the church just reflects the self-righteousness of the world. Too often, we who are the church succumb to the temptation to withdraw into a parochialism where we are in fellowship only with the kind of people who we like and with whom we feel at ease. The encountering of those who are physically challenged, poor, or homosexual persons can make us feel uncomfortable. It is easier to be exclusive than inclusive. However, we must remind ourselves that the church is not simply a religious fellowship of like-minded people. On the contrary, it is a community which is the sign of the costly reconciliation brought about by Christ's blood on the Cross. The basis of the open fellowship of the church is not some kind of liberal tolerance or humanistic acceptance of other persons. The church's fellowship is founded upon God's reconciling of the world in Jesus Christ, the sovereign initiative of divine mercy. To refuse to live in this new reality is to continue in the rebellion of se1frighteousness against God. While concern for the inclusion of all people within the church can appear to be divisive, we remember that Paul dealt with disputes and tensions over deep theological issues that were dividing Rome. In Romans 14 and 15, Paul reminded the community that Christ is Lord and that no one should despise a Christian brother of sister because of these differences of opinion (14:9-10). The reconciliation in Christ takes precedence over these disputes about lifestyle (14:1-8). Because we have been reconciled to God by God, so we should be reconciled to one another. "Welcome one another, therefore, as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God" (15:7). What conclusions should we draw from Paul's exposition of reconciliation for the acceptance of gay men and lesbians in our churches? The church has not often been a welcoming community in the name of Christ, but a rejecting and despising community. Gay men and lesbians have been excluded because they have not fit into certain roles with which most Christians felt comfortable. Rather than being a sign of God's reconciliation to the world, the church has been a sign of hostility and rejection to lesbians and gay men. To those of us in the United Methodist Church, the Reconciling Congregation Program, offers an opportunity to change this stance, so that we may better reflect the reconciling love of God in Christ in the life of our congregations. Given the hostile history and the complexity of the issues, it may not be easy, but this openness is an obedient response that has its foundation in the reconciling death of Chri st on the Cross. II For Chri st did not please himself, but as it is written, 'The reproaches of those who reproached thee fell on me'" (Romans 15:3). Because God reconciled us, we can be reconciled to one another. 10 / Manna jor the Journey t 1 Estrangement -the act of taking away or keeping at a distance, alienating, separating by enmit.Y or indifference. Reconciliation -the act of beingfriendly again, bringing back to harmony, adjusting, settling differences, reuniting. ent Estrangement develops over a periodof time, separating loved ones from one another. Likewise, reconciliation has to be intentionally developed with harmonyrestored over a period of time -usually Howard and Millie Eychaner are semi-retired from a household moving business and members of First United Met hodist Church in DeKalb, I llinoi s. a much longer time than separation takes. Our family had no more nor less family squabbles than any other family, yet we were acquainted with estrangement. As the children matured during the Vietnam War period, we had much maturing to do to keep abreast of their protest thoughts and actions. One son had conscientious-objector draft status and served in a community center in Chicago; one son was a teacher in Morocco as a Peace Corps volunteer; one son left college and volunteered to pastor two small churches in central Illinois; and our daughter quit her university to spend two years working in a state mental hospital. These were not easyyears for us; however, we all struggled to maintain our family connections. Manytimes we did not know where each was, as they spent their lives in service to others. Our early support for President Nixon was probably what separated us from our oldest son for the longest period of time, but gradually he accepted the fact that we too had changed and a piece of reconciliation took place. On the few times we were together we reaffirmed our love for and appreciation of each ot her. Manna for the Journey / 11 After our youngest finished college, he enrolled in St. Paul School of Theology, in Kansas City, as a seminarystudent. One day in his second year there, Rich reappeared at our familyowned business with the statement that he had quit seminary, was home, wanted a job, and did not want to talk about it. And he didn't! We entered a period of estrangement that lasted nearly five awful years. This was the son with whom we had communicated at many levels. We once had known when he was going to telephone us before our phone rang; what books he liked; what gifts to give. Now we had lit1e communication at any level. We each tried to regain some of the closeness we had known, but little was said beyond the superficial "Good morning how are you? -it is a sunny or rainy day" level. One year at Christmas time, we were told that all Rich wanted for Christmas was a doll. So among his other gifts we included a small, blonde, blue-eyeddoll, which after opening the package,he promptly threw across the room with the statement, "There is more than one ki nd of doll in the world! II What had we done? Did he want a brunette or redheaded doll instead of a blonde one? There was no answer. Only anger. How could we have guessed that he wanted a boy doll -and preferably a human one? The years went by with each of us "walking on eggs" to keep from starting a torrent of angry, rebellious words. Finally, with his father's help, Rich started a business of his own in Iowa and moved away from the family home. The business became successful, and he, apparently, was in charge of his life. Still, our family ties remained tense. Whenever we we re together, each of us longed to talk with the other to regain a semblance of deep conversation. But if we started the conversation, Rich turned in another direction. If he tried to talk with us, something prevented it. No longer were we able to use "ESP", except through our shared knowledge of our sorrow for each other. We now know that he wanted to start the conversation about sexuality, but such a discussion was foreign to us. However, things were developing which culminated during a Thanksgiving week. Thanksgiving is a time of reJolclng, celebration, and family dinners. During this particular Thanksgiving week, Rich was in California and would not be home for the festivities, but he telephoned us in the evening. He asked us if we had received his letter, and, upon being told that we had not, he said we would receive it soon and that he would call us when he returned to Iowa. The following day we did receive a loving letter from him in which he shared his sexual orientation with us, his desire for a loving partner, and that if we could not accept the fact that he was gay, he loved us enough to go away and not bother us again. He had the courage to risk permanent separation from his family so that he could quit living a 1 i e with us. We1 1 , hall e 1 u j a h ! Who could turn away such a son? The reconciliation had begun and we only had to intent iona11 y bu i 1 d on it. Within a few days we had a long telephone conversation and made plans to spend the next weekend with him. We talked and cried together for hours, went to church with him, adding more threads to our reconciliation tapestry.We learned of the pain he had lived with for years, the knowledge he had known of his differentness from childhood, the awareness that he wuld no longer lie to anyone about his sexual orientation. As we look back, we now know Rich was preparing us for his statement for a long time so that we would not be devastated by his openness. He had given us books to read such as Consenting Adults; he had asked us to watch the television show liThe Word I s Out; II he had asked us to watch Phil Donahue shows on homosexuality. We had heard him preach a sermon including gay men and lesbians in his litany of lIoutsiders and forgotten ones. II We had also discussed what we would do if we learned that one or more of our children were gay. Th2 pain of estrangement was far greater than the knowledge of homosexuality in the family. The pain of working towards reconciliation was rewarded with joy. Our son intentionally gave us education, love, and opportunity to exploresexuality. He answered our crazy questions. He encouraged us to tell anyone 12 / Manna for the Journey we wanted to about his sexual orientathe process of reconciliation, gay men tion when we felt comfortable doing so. and lesbians are in the unique position He gave us words to use when we sought of being able to initiate and nurture help. We, then, did not have to hide the process. They are the only ones who either, and we shared with our pastors, can inform parents who they, as children close friends, and some relatives. We real,ly are; how they are the same chi 1searched for answers from books, other dren they have always been; how the lesbians and gay men, and, finally, from parents are not to blame; how they did other parents. We located the organizanot "choose a lifestyle" as a way to tion known as PFLAG -International rebel against or punish their parents. Organization of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and gay men need to be patient Lesbians and Gays. with parents. Parents cannot be expected In this process of being with other to absorb new knowledge and slough off a lesbians and gay men, we learned of lifetime of stereotypical myths and long-standing estrangements that make us images the first week of knowledge of weep for all concerned. We have held in homosexuality within the family. Even our arms the man who told us of his after years of openness, we still find childhood during which he was always places of nonsharing -particularly with told by his father that if he ever got some extended family members wh o cannot in trouble his father would be there to share our enthusiasm for and pride in help him -even if he were ever arrested all our children. But we keep working, for murder. But the son said, "The day I and, who knows, maybe someday we will be told my father I was gay, he gave me $25 able to confront them in a loving manner and told me to leave the house and never so that they, too, will understand that to return. I guess homosexuality is if God created and loves us, God created worse than murder." and loves all of us. We know of a church musician who has In addition to the joy of reconcilianot worked in her profession for nearly tion, we find growth in our lives as the twenty years because she lost her posigreatest reward for having taken the tion when she identified herself as a risk of involvement with gay and lesbian lesbian. Such a waste of talent and issues. We are aware of all kinds of creativity is a sin. discrimination; we are less judgmental. We know of a lesbian couple who The loving response we receive from gay cannot share Christmas together because men, lesbians, and their parents is payeach family will not let their daughter ment greater than we could have imagined bring her lover home with her. We have when we started on the pursuit of reconlearned how our culture forces all peoci 1i ati on. ple into heterosexual marriages with reWe covet this joy for others. Since sultinging pain, sorrow, and estrangeparents of lesbians and gay men are the ment for some. As we have been friends best support they can have, gay men and with wives of gay men, we know lives of lesbians need to continually try for innocent adults and children have been communication with their parents. There harmed by these cultural forces. are chapters of Parents FLAG in many cities across the country. (For inforReconciliation can become estrangemation, contact: Parents FLAG; P.O. Box ment through time. We have in mind the 24565; Los Angeles, CA 90024.) Everyone parents of a gay man who have been poliwho needs Parents FLAG is encouraged to tically active and supportive of gay ismake contact with one of them and become sues but who are now being told by their involved. Continue to work for reconson to "cool it." This hurts and bewilciliation within the United Methodist ders the parents. The reason is that the Church -even though the recent General son has a new lover who feels threatened Conference delegates turned us out and by the activities of the parents. We thereby increased our institutional eshave confidence that the parents will trangement. Work through the Reconciling survive even this threat to their wellCongregation Program, Affirmation, or being. Parents can be flexible and enany other group that strives for reconduring! cili ation. Speak up for all our sons and While parents need to be active in dau ghters -and the joy will be yours! Manna for the Journey / 13 With the words "justice, justice you shall pursue •.." God calls us to actively seek justice. In ancient times the shofar, the ram's horn, was used to call together the courts of justice. Today we blow our shofar in the form of commitment as reconcilers to examine justice and injustice. How can people who live with injustice celebrate justice? We begin by examining the history of the people of God and the history of lesbians and gay men and other oppressed peoples. We can learn of progress made toward justice in the past and dedicate ourselves to continuing efforts for justice in the future. Litany of Reconciliation God, we are a pilgrim people, traveling through the wilderness. They demand that we sing -but how can we sing our God's song in a land with injustice and oppression? We are called to be like Moses and Miriam leading our people in a dance of freedom. We follow the cloud and fire before us. God, spark us and enable us to share our fire with others. We proclaim today that creation is good, that we are good. We affirm that you have searched us and known us, And have knit us in our mother's womb. We affirm that we all are created in God's image; And as that image of God we rise and name oppression and injustice wherever we find it -society, ourselves, our church. Today we commit to reconcile our vision of the new heaven and the new earth with the reality around us. We do this as co-workers with you, God, our creator and liberator, our completer and perfector, our comforter and sustainer. Prayer God of truth and justice, the evasions we practice upon others and upon ourselves are many. We long only to speak and to hear truth, yet time and again, from fear of loss or hope of gain, from dull habit or from cruel deliberation, we speak half-truths, we twist facts, we are silent when others lie, and we lie to ourselves. Like gay men and lesbians we often feel forced to pretend to be that which we are not, to present ourselves in ways which are not truthful, and sometimes with outright lies. But as we stand before You, our words and our thoughts speed to You, who knows them before we utter them. We do not have to tell the untruths to you as we are often forced to do in the world. We know we cannot lie in Your presence. Amen. 14 / Manna for the Journey i Being reconcilers does not always come easily. Besides good will reconciliation requires knowledge and a willingness to explore new areas. Below is a list of books and other resources available to help persons who choose to take a reconciling stance between the church and the lesbian/gay community. This is a select list. The criteria used includes: openness and affirmaticn of lesbians and gay men as whole people: availability: and the quality of the work as an introductory piece. The resources are organized by topics. including a few recommended titles for each topic. BIBLE Edwards. George R. Gay/Lesbian Liberation: A Biblical Perspective. New York: Pilgrim Press. 1984. An explanation. on biblical grounds. of gay/lesbian liberation as a legitimate genre within liberation theology: examines homophobia as an unbiblical response and constructs a sexual ethic of ~as bibl ical and appropriate for all persons. no matter the sexual orientation. McNeil. John. The Church and the Homosexual. Kansas City: Sheed. Andrews, and McMeel, 1976. A thorough examinaticn of homosexuality from the perspectives of scripture, tradition. and the social sciences: a pioneering work when first published. Unfortunately, it's out of print, but many libraries will have it. Scanzoni. Letha and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual my Neighbor? San Francisco: Harper and Row. 1978. A look at the challenge for ministry posed by lesbians and gay men: written by two women in the evangelical tradition. Scroggs, Robin. The New Testament and Homosexuality. Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1983. A review of the New Testament's treatment of homosexuality and the Judaic background against which it was formed: a solid, scholarly work. THEOLOGY Batchelor. Edward. Jr. Homosexuality and Ethics. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1980. A collecticn of opinions by various authors in the field of theology and ethics. Contains critiques of various popular viewpoints. Fortunato, John E. Embracing the Exile. New York: Seabury Press. 1982. An openly gay author speaks to gay men and lesbians struggling for justice in the church: a good resource for pastoral counselors. Nelson, James. Embodiment. Minneapolis. MN: Augsburg Publishing House, 1978. Written on the broader topic of human sexuality. this book contains one chapter on homosexuality. Helpful, because it puts concerns in the larger· context of human relationships. Manna for the Journey / 15 Boswell. John. Christianity. Social Tolerance. and Homosexuality. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 1980. A pioneering portrayal of the church's treatment of homosexual persons. as well as the relationship between sociology. scripture. and cultural moral standards: academic in approach. with intriguing footnotes. Katz. Jonathan. Gay American History. New York: Crowell. 1976. This documents the many ways in which persons acted upon their homosexuality in earlier American settings: helpful in that it brings to light the many people and events written out of "official" history. Klaich. Dolores. Woman + Woman: Attitudes Towards Lesbianism. New York: Simon [;. Schuster. 1974; William Morrow. 1975. An early. but comprehensive writing about lesbianism. Shilts. Randy. The Mayor of Castro Street. New York: St. Martin's Press. 1982. On the surface. it's the biography of poli tical activist Harvey Mi Ik; it's also a rich and fascinating review of the recent lesbian/gay political movement. Wolff. Deborah. The Lesbian Community. Berkeley. CA: University of California Press. 1979. A review of trn history and cultural patterns of lesbians in the San Francisco Bay area. FAMILY Borhek. Mary V. My Son Eric. New York: Pilgrim Press. 1979. The moving story of an evangelical Christian mother's journey to a deepened spirituality and acceptance of her gay son. Both parents and gay/lesbian children will find this an aid in building understanding and opening lines of communication. Fairchild. Betty and Nancy Hayward. Now That You Know. New York: Harcourt. Brace. Jonavich. 1979. Stories and advice by two mothers. one of a lesbian. the other of a gay man. Topically oriented. it is addressed to parents and other family members who are struggling with the reality of a lesbian/gay relative. Gantz. Joe. Whose Child Cries: Children of Gay Parents Talk About Their Lives. Rolling Hills Estates. CA: Jalmar Press. 1983. Stories culled from interviews with chi Idren of lesbian/gay parents. Good for pastora I counselors and older children (14 years+) of lesbian/gay parents. Jones. Clinton. Understanding Gay Relatives and Friends. New York: Seabury Press. 1978. A book of case studies of how lesbians and gay men and their families coped with the knowledge that a loved one is lesbian or gay. HEALTH The Diagram Group. Woman's Body: An Owner's Manual. New York: Simon and Schuster. 1981. Written for a general audience of women. with one chapter focused on heal th issues of special concern to lesbians. 16 / Manna for the Journey Kassler# Jeanne. Gay Men's Heal tho New York: Harper (;. Row# 19S3. With the advent of Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has come an increased awareness among gay men to take responsibility for health maintenance and prevention; gives basic facts and tips. Mayer. Ken and Hank Pizer. The AIDS Fact Book. New York: Bantam Books. 19S3. AIDS is one of the major health crises of the 19S0s. It is also bringing about major changes in the gay community. This is a must in understanding both the disease and its social consequences. LEGAL Curry. Hayden and Denis Clifford. Legal Guide for Lesbians and Gay Couples. Reading. MA: Addison-Welsey. 19S0. A guidebook to negotiating matters of practical living which confronts lesbian/gay couples; topics include buying and selling property. wills. powers of attorney. etc. The Gay Writers Group. It Could Happen to You: An Account of the Gay Rights Campaign in Eugene. Oregon. Boston: Alyson Publications. 19S3. The May 1975 struggle was lost. but much was learned along the way; a valuable resource for pastors and other church leaders confronted wi th controversies surrounding proposed ordinances in local communities. The Rights of Gay People: An ACLU Handbook. New York: Bantam Books. 19S3. A concise authoritative guide to securing and/or protecting legal rights of lesbians and gay men. Topics include employment. housing. the armed services. security clearances. and family laws. PERSONAL TESTIMONY Boyd# Malcolm. Take Off the Masks. Garden City. NJ: Doubleday. 1975. The well-known Episcopalian spiritual teacher tells of his own struggle to reconcile his sexuality and spirituality. Brown# Rita Mae. Rubyfruit Jungle. New York: Bantam Books. 19S0. Fiction; a novel which portrays a lesbian as a full person; warm. funny. and pol i ticall y powerful. McNaught. Brian. A Disturbed Peace. Washington. D.C.: Dignity. Inc. 19S1. A collectim of columns on various topics written by a gay Roman Catholic for lesbian/gay newspapers around the country. Moore# Paul. Jr. Take a Bishop Like Me. New York: Harper (;. Row. 1979. An autobiographical account by the Episcopal ian bishop of New York. Moore describes his role in the decision to ordain women in that church. and his reasons for ordaining a lesbian. Pennington. Sylvia. But Lord. They're Gay. Hawthorne. CA: Lamba Christian Fellowship. 19S2. The story of a woman from the evangel ical tradi tion who felt called to a ministry with lesbians and gay men and then found her prejudices challenged. Manna for the Journey / 17 FOR THOSE COMING OUT Borhek. Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-way Survival Guide. New York: Pilgrim Press. 19S3. Especially good for those families who want to stay together when the unexpected news is initially shared. this book gives advice for both the parent and the lesbian or gay child. Clark. Donald Henry. Loving Someone Gay. Milbrae.CA: Celestial Arts. 1977. For those struggling to build a positive self-identity once they've come to terms with a same sex orientation; more oriented to gay men. Stanley. Julia Penelope and Susan J. Wolff. eds. The Coming Out Stories. Watertown. MA: Persephone Press. 19S0. A diverse collection of stories of women describing their process of claiming a lesbian identity and learning to love themselves. Vida. Ginny. Our Right to Love. New York: Prentice-Hall. 1975. A comprehensive resource book on lesbianism and lesbian organizations. STUDIES Bell. Alan P. and Martin S. Weinberg. Homosexualities: A Study in Diversity Among Men and Women. New York: Simon £;. Schuster. 1975. The first study of the diversity of lifestyle and self-expressi01 among lesbians and gay men; pastoral counselors and those interested in the sociology of homosexuality will find this a valuable resource. Bell. Alan P. et al. Sexual Preference. Bloomington. IN: Indiana University Press. 19S1. A follow-up to the earlier Homosexualities study; explores the origins and early sexual experiences of lesbians and gay men. Blumstein. Philip and Pepper Schwartz. American Couples. New York: William Morrow. 19S3. A review of coupling among gay men. lesbians. and heterosexual persons. Highly informative because of the comparisons it makes among its three population groups. STUDY GUIDES "Christians and Homosexuality." A collection of articles published by The Other Side magezine. Available for $1.50 [10 or more. $1 each) from: The otiler Side. 300 W. Apsley Street. Philadelphia. PA 191~~. Includes: Can Homosexuals Change?; Putting a New Face on Homosexuality; Untangling the Web; Under the Care of the Meeting; Where to Turn. "Homosexuality: A Re-examination." elsa forum n60 [March 19S0). Available for $.75 each from the Board of Church and Society of the United Methodist Church. 100 Maryland Avenue.NE. Washington. DC 20002. Includes: Reflections on the Gay Life; How Would Jesus Relate to Homosexuality; I Came to Know Lesbians; All of Us Are Persons of Sacred Worth; Who Are We to Judge Anyway?; One Church Struggles wi th the Issue of Homosexuality; Living on the Edge of Two Ccrnmunities. "Homosexuality and the Church." A four-part study series written by Mary Jo Osterman. Kit [leader's guide. bibliography. and participant's packet) available for $6.00 from Kinheart. Inc.• 221~ Ridge. Evanston. IL 60201. 18 / Manna for the Journey Teaching Guide Human Rights Foundation. Demystifying Homosexuality: A , about Lesbians and Gay Men. New York: Irvington Publ ishers. Inc.. 1984. A comprehensive guidebook for teaching high school students. but can be very useful with other age groups. (195 pages). Available from $12.95 [plus $1.75 prepaid shipping) from Todd Publications. PO Box 1097. Lenox Hill Station. New York. NY 10021. "Report of the Task Force on Homosexuality and the Church to the 30th General Assembly of the United Church of Canada." in United Church Observer. April 1984. Available for $1.00 by writing: The United Church Observer. 85 St. Clair Avenue. E•• Toronto. Ontario. CANADA M4T 1M8 Smith. Leon. ed. Homosexuality: In Search of a Christian Understanding. Nashville: Discipleship Resources. 1981. Published by Discipleship Resources. this includes: The Bible and Homosexuality [Victor Paul Furnish); Theological/Ethical Perspectives on Homosexuality [James C. Logan); and Pastoral Care and Homosexual ity [David K. Switzer). MEDIA RESOURCES "A Position of Faith." A film about William Johnson. the first openly gay man ordained in the United Church of Christ. Contact: UCC Audio-Visuals. 1505 Race Street. Philadelphia. PA 19102. "Lots of Queer Quakers. Some of Whom are Gay." A videotape of personal stories avai lable for the cost of duplication. postage. and handl ing. Contact: St. Marie Unlimited Productions. University Friends Meeting. 4001 9th NE. Seattle. WA 98105. Telephone: 206/632-7006. "Pink Triangles." 1982. A film featuring black. Asian. Native American. and Latino lesbians and gay men discussing stereotypes which society has about them. 35 min. Study guide available. Contact: Cambridge Documentary Fi Ims. Box 385. Cambridge. MA 02139. Telephone: 617/354-3677. "The Times of Harvey Milk." To be released spring 1985. A videotape of a movie released commercially during the fall 1984 whidl portrays the life and times which surrounded openly gay politician Harvey Milk in San Francisco. 1984 Academy Award winner for best documentary feature. Contact: TeleCulture Productions. 212/807-1877. "The Word Is Out: Stories of our Lives." A fi 1m originally broadcast on public television; contains stories and anecdotes by lesbians and gay men. Contact: New Yorker Films. 16 W. 61 Street. New York. NY. Telephone: 212/267-6110. YOUTH/ADOLESCENTS Fricke. Aaron. Reflections of a Rock Lobster. Boston: Alyson Publications. 1983. The true story of a young mal who challenged his hi gh school classmates to accept his homosexuality as positively as he accepted it himself; warm and humorous. as well as enlightening. Heron. Ann. ed. One Teenager in Ten: Writing; by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson Publications. 1983. Life stories on a variety of topics ranging from dealing with parents. new love relationships. and growing up with a gay/lesbial self-identity. Manna for the Journey / 19 Gay and Proud. Boston: Alyson Publicatiors. 1980. A booklet written by gay/lesbian youth in the street language of today. FOR COUNSELORS Babuscio. John. We Speak for Ourselves. Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1977. A guidebook of case histories written specifically for counselors by lesbians and gay men who are professional counselors themselves. Topics covered include homophobia. internalized oppression. and family relationships. Moses. Elfin. and Robert O. Hawkins. eds. Counseling Lesbian Women and Gay Men. St Louis: Mosby. 1982. Professional psychotherapists take the approach of look ing at life issues common to all persons and the unique ways they may arise in lesbians and gay men: contains bibliography. Urhig. Larry. Just the Two of Us. Boston: Alyson Publicatiors. 1984. A guide to building and maintaining gay/lesbian relationships. written by an openly gay pastor to a lesbian/gay audience. A good resource with couples. NEWSPAPERS A number of communities around the country have good newspapers published by local lesbian/gay communities. Most can be found in bookstores or places of public entertainment. Some of the major publications and their city are: The Advocate. Los Angeles. CA The Alabama Forum. Birmingham. AL Au Courant. Philadelphia. PA Bay Area Reporter. San Francisco. CA Bay Windows. Boston. MA The Body Politic. Toronto. ON. CANADA The California Voice. San Fran. CA The Cascade Voice. Seattle. WA The Connection. Long Island. NY Cruise. Detroi t. MI The Dallas Voice. Dallas. TX The Empty Closet. Rochester. NY Equal Time. Minneapolis. MN The Front Page. Raleigh. NC Gay Communi ty News. Boston. MA Gay Life. Chicago. IL Gayly Oklahoman. Oklahoma City. OK Gay News. Philadelphia. PA Gay News Telegraph. Missouri The Gay Paper. Baltimore. MD The Gayzette. San Diego. CA The Gaze. Memphis. TN The GLC Voice. Minneapolis. MN Just Out. Portland. OR Le Mensuil Rg. Montreal. qE. CANADA Lesbian News. Los Angeles. CA The Montrose Voice. Houston. TX News. Columbus. OH NYC News. New York. NY The New York Native. New York. NY No Bad News. St. Louis. f\IO Off Our Backs. Washington. DC Our Own. Norfolk. VA Out. Madison. WI Out. Pittsburgh. PA Out Front. Denver. CO Pulse. Atlanta. GA Seattle Gay News. Seattle. WA The Sentinel. San Francisco. CA The Calendar. San Antonio. TX The Star. Austin. TX The Weekly News. Miami. FL The Works. Indianapol is. IN This Week in Miss•• Mississippi The Washington Blade. Washington. DC The Western Express. Phoeni x. AZ Your/Our Paper. Santa Clara. CA Additional copies of this annotated bibliography are available for $.50 each from: Reconciling Congregation Program. P.O. Box 24213. Nashville. TN 37202. 20 / Manna for the Journey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 1 - Be Ye Reconciled https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/529b8c2b5b1a6ad643e3b12fb3d01a55.pdf 2e9899ea75401201416f7771d551edc3 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1985 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1 D JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 NO.2 VOL. 10 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION [J NO.2 Contents This issue of Manna for the Journey is dedicated to the memory of Michael Collins. Michael, a former United Methodist pastor. a founder and long-time leader ofAffirmation, a gay man, died ofAIDS on October 15, 1984. In this issue, we focus on how individuals, congregations, and communities can respond to the terriying sickness which can no longer be labeled "the gay disease." Writings by Michael Collins are found in "Gentle, Angry Love" (p. 6), In "Who Would Blame AIDS Victims" (p. 8), Ignacio Castuera confronts those who would argue that AIDS is a punishment from God. "Two Communities Respond to AIDS, " (p. 14) by John Hannay and Jeremy Landau, provides crucial presuppositions and guidelines that have been gleaned from their AIDS-related work. Mark Bowman's "Finding a Family" (p. 4) recounts the author's friendship with a gay man who had AIDS. Nancy Carter sketches the response ofNew York's Washington Square UMC in ':4 Ministry ofBereavement" (p. 9). Answering more specific health questions, Dr. Micheal Pistole uncovers "Facts and Fears about AIDS" (p. 11). Lest we direct all our health-related concerns toward AIDS, Mary Gaddis writes about "Lesbian Health Issues" (p. 12). Elsewhere in this issue, we offer a listing of organizations and a brief bibliography on AIDS in Resources (p. 22). In Sustaining the Spirit, Beth Richardson presents an antiphonal reading, "Prayer ofa Young Man: A Community Lament" (p. 17). Richardson is a graduate ofVanderbilt Divinity School and is a freelance writer for religious publications. The RCP Report (p. 18) continues its introduction of Reconciling Congregations, shares news about the Harvey Milk School, and presents resolutions related to lesbian/gay concerns which were passed at annual conferences ofthe UMC. We hope that this issue of Manna for the J ourney will be an important contribution to your understanding of and ministry to persons with AIDS. We welcome your letters, your comments, and your suggestions. Shalom. 2 IManna for the Journey ISSH 0884-8327 sharing that I found in the first copy were very interesting and motivating. Thank you! -Goft~ KS Your new magazine Manna for the Journey is attractive, and the articles interesting, often moving, and well worth reading. Thanks. -Washington, DC Issue one is wonderful! Keep up the good work. -Poughkeepsie, NY One error we made in the first issue brought a letter and a correction: As a former UMC clergyperson, I can truly appreciate the importance of your work. I hope that Manna gets to a lot of .Methodists. I personally have little hope for change in the UMC. Nevertheless, I 'want to encourage you. Thank you for listing my book as a resource in your bibliography. Could you please correct your listing as it is wrong in two places. My name is misspelled, and the title of the book is wrong. It should be listed as follows: Uhrig, Larry J. The Two of Us: Affirming, Celebrating, and Symbolizing Gay and Lesbian Relationships. The first issue of Manna for the Journey elicited a strong positive response. The mailbox has been busy with many subscriptions arriving (over 350 so far). We have received subscriptions from individuals, families, local churches, and church agencies of several denominations. The notes ofencouragement written on subscriptions forms and the letters of support have been particularly heartening. Here is a sampling of some of the unsolicited comments we have received: I found the first issue to be well done and very helpful in its way of presenting information. Keep up the good work! -Baltimore, MD I just read Volume I, Number I and it is so fine. Please put our church on the mailing list -New Orleans, LA I really appreciate the first issue of Manna for the Journey. A friend shared hers with me. The ideas and The journal looks great! I appreciate the fact that Affirmation is louder and stronger after General Conference. -Tucson, AZ Thank you for your efforts! -Newton Centre, MA But I haven't been inside a Methodist church in years-though my grandfather was a preacher. Perhaps my threads weren't good enough. Then again, I never had white sidewall tires on my Cadillac. -Colorado Springs, CO Thank you for your important work. -Rev. Larry Uhrig, Pastor Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, DC We invite your comments and letters on any aspect of the j ournal and our work. Manna for the Journey is one vehicle for the cries and hopes of marginalized and oppressed people to be fulfilled. Your feedback is needed in the journey toward our shared vision of a church that is truly the inclusive people ofGod. Your subscription is much appreciated. We hope you will continue to share your interest in Manna for the Journey and the concerns of lesbians and gay men with others. -The editors Manila for the Jounzey / 3 Findin by Mark Bowman am V· Mark Bowman is a graduate ofBoston Unimsity School of Theology a F: iI;J-and presently is on the staJ! ofBreadforthe World in Washingtoll, D.C Anxious to get home after two weeks of travel-: Stephen had lived abroad for the six years since ing, I called Ron from the airport to let him his high school graduation. A few months earlier, he know that I had missed that last connecting had been very ill and had been hospitalized in flight and wouldn't be back until the next morning. Europe. The doctors there suspected he had AIDS During our conversation, Ron told me we had a and strongly urged him to return to the United States house guest. Hesitating slightly, he continued, "His for proper diagnosis and treatment. name is Stephen, and he has AIDS." When I did not Soon thereafter, Stephen returned to his family reply, Ron went on quickly: "He's only staying with home in a suburban area outside Washington, D.C. us temporarily -until he finds a permanent place to Within a few days, Stephen realized that his mother stay. I've talked with our doctor, and he confirmed and stepfather were not at all pleased to have him that Stephen cannot transmit anything to us by home. They arranged for their church pastor to talk casual contact. Actually, he has more to fear from with Stephen about his "errant" homosexual ways. contracting disease from us than we do from him." Feeling rejected, Stephen left the family home to stay Noting the lack of insecurity in Ron's voice and his with friends. After another serious bout with pneuapparent pleasure in having Stephen in our home, mocystis carinii and another stay in the hospital, my initial anxiety developed into curiosity to get Stephen was referred to Washington's AIDS Educahome to learn more about the situation. tion Fund for support services. The program manager there called Ron and asked if we would provide emergency housing for Stephen. The next five months were a multifaceted crash course -in learning about AIDS and how a person with AIDS (PWA) copes with the disease; in relating to a newfound friend who was dying; in struggling with the perennial issue of theodicy (why evil happens in God's world); and in trying to discern how God's grace was evident in this tragic situation. Dealing with a loved one who is terminally ill is one of the most profound experiences of our humanity. But I also had to respond to Stephen's own questions: Might AIDS be a punishment for his gay lifestyle? Was suicide an ethical option to weeks or months of extreme physical suffering? How was one to create a family and home in which to die after being rejected by "blood" family? home. His outgoing friendliness and sometimes cutting wit infused new life into our daily routines. After a week, Ron and I invited him to stay with us on a long-term basis. True to his nomadic past, Stephen simply acknowledged our invitation. But over the next few days I watched with a hidden smile as he gradually unpacked the few bags and boxes that contained his earthly treasures and settled into our home. Stephen exhibited scant evidence of the physical deterioration and pain raging inside his body during his early weeks with us. It would have been possible to deny the reality of his illness. But I suspected that I ~ .. , ~~~~~==~~§=1 Stephen's affable presence quickly permeated our 4/Manna for the Journey would find myself in situations previously unknown to me as time passed. I sought out help and guidance from pastoral-counselor friends and read materials on death and dying. I soon discovered, however, that I learned most from Stephen himself. We talked often about AIDS and about dying. Our conversations steered a course that was realistic, but not morose. It was difficult to answer Stephen's questions about why this had happened to him. I could tell him, with confidence, that God was not punishing him for his past lifestyle. But the "why" questions were unanswerable. It was easy to say that tragedy is evident in human existence, that society is wrong when it all too often makes the victims of tragedy bear the responsibility for it, that there are larger social forces that manifest evil. But why has AIDS happened?; why does it affect gay men especially?; why is there no successful treatment? Most importantly, why was Stephen a victim of this terrible tragedy? I could only attempt to respond to that tragedy -with love. The major contradiction in Stephen's life was his need for physical intimacy -for comfort in dying -juxtaposed with the nature of his illness, which kept most people at a distance from him. I saw how PWAs are treated as the lepers of our society. Some friends would invite Ron and me to a party and then add in a hushed voice that, of course, we understood why it would be inappropriate for Stephen to attend. After one hospitalization, we waited hours for much-needed oxygen equipment to arrive, only to discover that the oxygen company that normally filled the hospital's orders refused to deliver the equipment to the home of an AIDS patient. My own fears soon dissipated as I grew to love Stephen dearly and learned that his fears could be quieted by a touch on the arm or an embrace. I began to realize how important physicality and touching were in my life and despaired to consider what it would be like to approach my death and discover that any human embrace was being denied to me. Stephen and friends in his AIDS support group often joked and marveled about the power they held over other persons. They could clear a crowded restaurant simply by standing and announcing they had AIDS. They could strike terror into people by standing on a sidewalk, shaking hands with passersby and distributing cards that read "I am a person with AIDS." Ifthey were ever threatened by a mugger, they had only to say, "I have AIDS, and I'll spit on you!" Talk of such impish actions was a way to cope with being seen as social pariahs and with their extreme isolation and loneliness. To withstand those forces that threatened to destroy his own self-worth, Stephen worked diligently to maintain his sense of dignity. He prided himself on his personal appearance -always clean, clothes freshly laundered and pressed, hair shampooed and cut, an ever-lingering scent of cologne. He feared contracting Kaposi's sarcoma, with its skin lesions that would mark him publicly as an AIDS patient. He worked as many days as he was physically able so he could remain financially independent and assist with our household expenses. He exercised his love for travel until his weakened condition precluded it. He harangued hospital staff who served his meals with disposable accoutrements until he received the same plates and silverware as other patients. For a short time, Stephen was a patient at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in their research/ treatment program. Then he reverted to private medical care. The program at NIH offered free medical care to PWAs while the medical staff there experimented with different treatments to try to halt the irreversible development of the disease. Stephen observed that the patients in the program usually extended their life spans but often at a cost of reduced quality of life. The various side effects of the treatments often made their physical suffering even worse. Stephen selected a sympathetic doctor and embarked on a program of medication to ease his pain while allowing the AIDS virus to pursue its course. He strictly instructed us and his other friends that, in case of impending death, he was not to be sustained on life-support systems. Instead, he wished to die comfortably and peacefully. . Stephen approached death as he approached life -with a zestfuljoie de vivre. During his months With us, he became well-acquainted with our neighbors (including some I had not known before) and spent many evenings talking and laughing on their patios until he was overcome by fatigue. He resolved to live until summer so that he could relish the glory of springtime in Washington. He even arranged an early release from the hospital so he could attend Lesbian and Gay Pride Day. With one arm anchoring a balloon and the other around my shoulder, Stephen traversed the festival grounds, stopping at every booth, talking loudly, and dramatizing a pride-fiUed spirit. We had checked in at the medical tent to arrange periodic visits so that Stephen could rest and receive oxygen. Due to his visibly weakened condition, he received a knowing smile or gentle touch from several other persons at the festival. Stephen was radiant. It was as if he perceived that the thousands of his brothers and sisters who were there were actually there to celebrate his life. On another occasion, I received a phone call at work and heard a childlike, pleading voice: "Daddy, can I have a kitty cat?" I laughed as he went on: "My counselor says that a cat would be very therapeutic. A cat is warm and furry and quiet and has a special attraction to dying persons." Memories of my own childhood desire for a pet and my persistent nagging of my parents came flooding back to me. Against my own inclinations, I, of course, acceded to Stephen's wishes, and soon Sasha joined our household. Stephen's enthusiasm for life was contagious to those who knew him. Yet I always realized thatjust (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey 15 Finding a Family (continued) below the surface lurked a throbbing anger: anger at facing death at a youthful age; anger at having public voices proclaiming that AIDS was God's retribution on the gay male community; anger at some gay men who refused to confront the reality of AIDS; anger at modern medicine for offering him no hope for the future. Not unlike other dying persons, Stephen exhibited a renewed concern for his spiritual life. He frequently sought reassurance that God did, in fact, love him and that he had lived a responsible life. Stephen began to attend our church occasionally. His initial fears were overcome by those persons in the congregation who extended a warm welcome to him, fully cognizant of his situation. Our pastor became Stephen's pastor during his hospitalization and in our home. While Stephen attended church sporadically, it was noticeable that he most often worshipped on a communion Sunday. One Sunday as I watched his frail hand dip the morsel of bread into the chalice a new appreciation for sacramental grace swept over me. I had always believed that God's grace was transmitted through the Eucharist. But I had not let go of my belief that my good deeds -past, present, and future -made me worthy of the sacrament and sealed the promise of God's love for me. Approaching the Eucharist in an extremely weakened and vulnerable state, with little or no vision of future existence and the accompanying possibility of redeeming endeavors -this was real faith. I suddenly came face-to-face with the efficacy of God's grace. God's grace is total, unconditional, and offered freely to every one of us. Stephen's death came as he wished -quickly and peacefully. The memorial service was held at our church and carried out according to the explicit instructions he had passed down. Those he had chosen to be his family were there: his AIDS support group; staff of the AIDS Education Fund; colleagues from his employment; our friends and neighbors. In one small deviation from the service Stephen had planned, I read a card he had given to us. Stephen, in his inscrutable way, not only had appeared in my life suddenly and left an indelible impression on it; he had also provided the poetry with which to articulate my experience. On the card was printed: Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave foot-prints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. Inside the card was written: Ron and Mark I love you both very much and will from this day forward always have a family! Love, Stephen 6/Manna for the Journey do not intend to sit around wasting away. My life has been and is one of the most fulfilling I have ever encountered. A gift ... I am at peace and more in love with the God of my soul than I ever dreamed possible. In no way will I live a maudlin life filled with regret and pity. God damn it! I can't stand it! My body aches for all the pent up emotions and lack of physical release I'm dying a slow death of the most excruciating kind. The far right could not have come up with so good a plan if their future existence depended on it. Or maybe it's the scheme of a few good intenders in our own ranks, determined to wipe out the unacceptable lifestyle among us, so one or two of them can get elected to Congress or maybe a plush job in the government. I mean it makes sense in a country where they poison the air and water so some dudes can make a few extra bucks. W hatever happens I know that my life has been interesting and has made a positive contribution to the living of many other s. I know increasingly that I am loved. My life has power -it has meaning. I am living a life -and it is living through me -with some arrogance -but much faith "I can do most anything!" I see myself as a new being -ready to move on secure in the knowledge that I am to be loved forever. I have for the longest time felt that being gay meant that I was not to ever use strong words like love in relationship to men, even my father, in case someone might find out about it and ruin my life. Overall, I do not like what seems to be required of us in the interactions between people in order to progress in this world. The competition rather than exploration, being defensive for what on~has said and done at particular moments, the concerning of one's self in order to hold onto a perceived advantage -all gnaw away at my living. \Ve are first involved in a struggle for social justice. We are not responsible for the oppression we experience and do not need to reduce everything to personal crisis, sought after happiness and acceptabililty. We need to be continually held accountable to our people, to lesbians and gay men. I am amazed by the ability of lesbians, gay men, dykes, fairies, butches, drag queens, and clones lesbians and gay men -to continue surviving, balancing on the edge. Blame the victim, an old techtion and mutual support to form nique used to shift the burden ghettos. _ of responsibility, is rearing its This existence has been caused, ugly head again. In this instance the in a significant measure, by attitudes technique is aided and supported and beliefs perpetuated and encourwith pious affirmations and biblical aged by certain sectors of the Chrisprooftexting. In moralistic and actian church. Rather than pointing cusatory terms, conservative Chrisaccusing fingers in the direction of tians are blaming the victims of the the victims, we should instead look disease known as AIDS (Acquired at the role we have had in creating a Immune Deficiency Syndrome) for situation that may be a contributing their condition. Instead of helping to under which these minorities live as or even causative factor. find medical solutions to a medical a significant contributing-if not in However, there is more a conproblem, the only matter under disfact causative-factor. cerned Christian can do about AIDS. cussion for these critics is the moNumerous maladies which society Christians can lead efforts to allorality of the victims and the punused to label perjoratively as cate national resources to cure and ishment for their alleged miscon" women's illnesses" have now been eradicate this esoteric disease. More duct. AIDS, we are told, is God's also associated with the stress which important, Christians can bring the modern mini-version of Sodom and the subordinate position of women light of God's grace upon disGomorrah. through the ages has caused. Psycussions about AIDS as God's punIn dealing with people who chosomatic rashes, allergies, menishment for the sinfulness of gay strual pains and even extreme cases espouse these condemnatory ideas, men. one is tempted to dismiss them, hopof hysteria and psychosis have been In John 9 the disciples were ing every thinking, caring person linked to social factors as much, if influenced by a mentality that saw would see the fallacious and perninot more, than to purely physiologiillnesses directly related to a person's moral behavior. Upon encouncious logic in their arguments. Why calor somatic causes. has God waited so long to come up It is not necessary to take a logitering a blind man, they asked Jesus cal leap to see that just as other ifthe man's blindness was caused by with another punishment? If AIDS is a punishment for homosexuality, marginated groups have had illnesses his sin or by his parent's sins. "He is which find their etiology in the stress blind so that God's power might be why is it that lesbian women are not getting it? What about the fact that which society in general causes seen at work in him" (John 9:3). them to live under, so in the case of AIDS also has nothing to do several nonhomosexual hemophiliacs are also catching the ailment? with gay men's sins. If we only let AIDS one can suppose that there Should researchers stop looking for might very well be at least a correlaGod speak to us, we may also find cures since a punishment from God tion between the stress gay men live that this illness is around so that should only be accepted? The quesunder and their predisposition to God's power might be seen at work tions mulitply. contact enigmatic illness. in them and in the rest ofus. Maybe, AIDS is a socio-medical problem Another interesting coincidence just maybe, one of the things we that requires socio-medical solutions. could learn is that a genetic link ought to force us to point our fingers shared by gay men makes them More important for us as Christians, away from the victims of AIDS. At however, is that we question our own least two other mysterious diseases more susceptible to AIDS. Such a prejudicial practices and the deleappear to have one sociological facdiscovery might imply that homosexuality is more genetically deterterious contributing factor such tor in common with AIDS: the practices may have in the appearoccurrence among Blacks of sicklemined than a matter of choosing to ance and spread of AIDS. cell anemia and the presence among be or not to be gay. Then, the ChrisIt is an established fact that tian church in general and the Jewish people ofTay Sachs disease. marginated and persecuted groups Whatever else one says about United Methodist Church in parare under more stress than the ticular might begin to act more these rare diseases, the common general population. It is also well lovingly and justly toward the homodenominator is that these groups established that prolonged continuhave been forced into ghettos now or sexual brothers and sisters who coning stress affects negatively the body's sometime in their history. True, one tinue to give us a chance to share immune system. The most visual with them in the power of the gospel can point out other concommitant form of attack on our body, the comin spite of a shameful history of perfactors such as diet and inbreeding, secution. And God's power might be mon cold, finds vulnerable victims but these factors are exacerbated by seen at work, maybe, just maybe. among those who, for one reason or segregation. another, are "run down." As gay people find themselves In minority communities, Black unable to live in the midst of nonReproduced from Circuit Rider, Ocand Hispanic as a prime example, supportive communities, they have tober 1983. Copyright by the United hypertension, the so-called "silent flocked to cities where ethnic and Methodist Publishing House. By per·· killer," runs rampant. Medical aulifestyle differences are accepted. mission. thorities have identified the stress They have come together for protec8 / Manna for the Journey e Nancy A, Carter is chairperson ofthe Administrative Council and lay leader of Washington Square UMC in New Yo rk City, She has been involved in Washington Square's AIDS ministry since its beginning. Probably every church involved in ministry to and with gay men and lesbians has been touched in some way by the AIDS crisis. Washington Square UMC in New York City is no exception. We have had to meet the needs of our own church members who have been affected by this disease. And, located as we are in the heart of New York's gay/lesbian community, Greenwich Village, we have also felt called to serve others around us who, though not involved in our immediate church family, have needed our love and help as well. As AIDS spreads throughout society and affects more and more people, congregations everywhere will increasingly feel this tragedy in their midst and win hear their own calls to ministry to persons with AIDS (PWAs), their friends, and their families. Because we hope that our experiences at Washington Square might help others as they answer those calls, we share here our own efforts to serve those in need around us. We first became involved in an AIDS ministry when our church treasurer, Charles Bergner, was diagnosed as having AIDS in spring 1983. Unlike some persons who are diagnosed with AIDS, Charles immediately reached out to those around him, including members of his church family. Dealing with the inevitable first shock and grief of having such a frightening illness hit someone we all knew and loved, our congregation quickly responded in two ways. First, we did our best to minister to the various needs-emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial-of Charles, his partner David, and their other family and friends. Second, we opened our doors to other people affected by the AIDS epidemic. We made our building available for memorial services for those who died of the disease. For two years, g ~ ~ we provided free space as needed to the city's Gay Men's Health Crisis. Our church took these steps at a time when information about AIDS' transmission was very limited and people were becoming quite paranoid about contracting the disease. We felt strongly that Christ's call to ministry outweighed any fears that we or others had. Charles supplemented Washington Square's ministry'by choosing to give of himself to others as he could. His desire was especially manifest in two different forms: He contacted The United M ethodist Reporter to interview him so that United Methodists (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 9 A Ministry of Bereavement (continued) around the country would know that people of their denomination were being afflicted with AIDS, and he entered a program at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, allowing some experimental treatment to be done on him in hope that future persons diagnosed with AIDS might benefit. Charles died on December 25, 1983, the first of our members to be lost to the epidemic. During 1984, we learned that another member, Michael Collins, also had AIDS. After an initial period of distancing himself from the congregation, Michael, too, received support from Washington Square. He died on October 15, 1984. (See reprinted excerpts from Michael's journal and letters elsewhere in this issue.) Shortly after Michael's death, Washington Square held its annual planning retreat. Those of us in attendance discussed the grief we were experiencing in relation to the previous year's deaths in the congregation, especially those related to AIDS. We decided that the church, rather than moving away from this grief, would expand its ministry to others affected by the disease. As a first step in the expansion, church members would undertake educational events and informal research to determine the way we should go. This education was carried out in a variety of forms and continues today with various members attending different events, so that many people are receiving training. An outreach committee was formed and has been doing much of the basic work for this ministry. As a result of discussions in this committee, we decided to sponsor a bereavement group this fall for persons who have lost friends and family members to AIDS. Two facilitators will lead the group. Various church members have been receiving training in the area of bereavement. Three of our members attended an intensive weekend workshop on bereavement and AIDS sponsored by the Shanti Project, San Francisco, an organization that specializes in working with relatives and friends of persons with AIDS. Shanti's Emotional Support Volunteer Training Manual was purchased. Another book-When a Friend Is Dying by Edward Dobihal, Jr., and Charles William Steward (Abingdon, 1984)-was also read. After the Shanti workshop, a group of our members and other New Yorkers who attended it decided to continue meeting. Calling itself Shanti, New York, this group now meets monthly at Washington Square as a support group for those working with PWAs. Among the participants in this group, in addition to Washington Square staff and members, are healthcare workers, Gay Men's Health Crisis volunteers, hospital chaplains, hospice workers, and anyone else who wishes to attend. Although Shanti, New Yor.\<:, is still determining its direction, a major topic of discussion for it thus far has been bereavement; many of its participants have been affected by deaths of people from AIDS and feel overwhelmed. As another part of Washington Square's efforts to serve those people who have been-or, in the future, will be-affected by AIDS, we forwarded a resolution on "AIDS and the Ministry of the Church" to the Commission on Church and Society of the New York Annual Conference, which, in turn, took it to the conference under the commission's name. By an almost unanimous vote, the resolution was adopted by the conference on June 9, 1985. It asked that the conference's commissions on Church and Society and/or Health and Welfare consider sponsoring educational forums/workshops for the churches of the conference and that the resolution be forwarded nationally to the General Board of Church and Society and to the Health and Welfare Program Department for their information. That resolution should help raise the consciousness of churches in this area. We also hope that it helps enable a support network of churches to grow as more churches are personally touched by AIDS and look for support. We expect that our efforts may be used as a model for some types of responses a congregation can make and how a congregation can learn to support its own self as it ministers to others. We at Washington Square intend to continue enlarging and improving our AIDS-related ministries. This November we will begin an AIDS Grief Support Group for families and friends of PWAs that we expect to lead for 10 weeks. We also are doing resource work for the New York Annual Conference's Commission on Church and Society to help plan an event, scheduled for next year, that will include information on ministry to PWAs. Clearly, a lot of work remains to be done in relation to the AIDS epidemic. Local churches can perform a valuable ministry not only to persons with AIDS but also to their friends and families. Of course, we know that, in the end, we are all the friends and families of persons with AIDS. We all are a part of each other. 10/ Manna Jor the Journey these PWAs get have prolonged their lives, but nothing significant has yet been uncovered to treat the underlyFacts ing disease. Many scientists are working worldwide, often with inadequate and funds, to find a cure for AIDS. The drugs being looked at are of two basic types, those that might attack and kill the virus itself (antiviral drugs) and those that scientists hope Fears could stimulate the growth of the immune system (immunostimulants). Overall, the results from the use of about these drugs have been unsuccessful to this point. AIDS AIDS primarily affects young people between the ages of 20 and by Micheal Pistole 50. This makes sense because people in this age group are more sexually Micheal Pistole is a doctor ofinternal medicine and gastroenterology in private practice in the active and AIDS is primarily a sexWashington, D.C. area. Dr. Pistole has been active in community services for AIDS patients. Hually transmitted disease. It is, however, important to realize that, while ealth is something that is little AIDS may be spread through a comunderstood and too often taken existence. We now have among us, however, munity by sexual promiscuity, not _ for granted until it is lost. a unique virus that has le-arned to everyone who falls victim to it has Even in our present world of sciendestroy our immune system before necessarily been sexually promistific enlightenment, many of us do the virus itself can be destroyed. cuous. One or two unfortunate connot comprehend the external and This virus is slow and methodical in tacts can transmit the disease. internal factors that protect us and its work and renders its victims unThe use of shared intravenous maintain our health. We assume able to protect themselves from infecneedles by drug abusers is known to that, if we catch a cold, we will surtions that slowly eat away at their be another major mode of transmisvive and overcome it. We assume bodies and minds. In a healthy host sion and accounts for about 15% of this because it has been the case with an intact immune system, these the cases nationwide. Since AIDS throughout our lives. The fact that infections would be stopped before also may be acquired through blood our immune system is functioning to they did any major damage. This transfusion, the HTLV-III antibody protect us may never enter our menace is the HTLV-III virus, and test is used to identify units of blood minds. This system of internal prothe disease it causes is AIDS (acthat may be contaminated by the tection is the reason that we can surpresence of the antibody (which vive in a sea of viruses, parasites, quired immune deficiency syndrome). does not necessarily indicate that and fungi that are vying for their the HTLV-III virus itself is active). survival at all costs, even our very This test is performed not only by existence. The effect ofAIDS' initial spread the Red Cross on collection of blood A healthy immune system is all since the early 1980s, when it was donated to it, but also again at hosimportant. It is a unique and special first discovered, is only now being pitals before they transfuse the tool with a mind of its own that can seen. There are today more than blood or blood products, adding an identify that which is harmful to us 12,000 persons with AIDS (PWAs) nationwide; many more times that extra measure of safety. and destroy it, whether it be a virus number of persons will develop the AIDS is not an easy disease to or a cancer, while we calmly go disease over the next 12 to 18 transmit. Casual contact in a house, about our daily activities. As we age, months. office, or school has never been a our immune system does falter and source of transmission. At centers eventually something gets through AIDS kills. At the present time, it like the National Institutes of Health, that cannot be controlled; we may is 100% fatal. The reason we somewhere hundreds of AIDS patients develop cancer or die of a serious times read that there is only a 50% have been cared for by hundreds of infection, despite modern tools like fatality rate is that the new patients health workers, no one has ever conantibiotics, surgery, and chemowho are being identified daily have tracted the disease by caring for the therapy. Most often, this happens not yet had time to die. If we look back to the early 1980s, all of those patients. It is, therefore, foolish to only after we have had an opporallow fears of personal safety to pretunity to live a full and fruitful victims have perished. New methods of temporarily treating the infections (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 11 Facts and Fears (continued) . vent us from reaching out to comfort the victims of what has become a major health problem in this country. The myth that AIDS is a disease of the gay male community in this country is just that-a myth. The disease did take hold in this country in a subset of the gay male community that was highly sexually active, and because AIDS is sexually transmitted, it spread rapidly through that particular segment of the community. AIDS, however, exists in high numbers in other parts ofthe worldoften in primarily heterosexual communities. In several areas in central Mrica, AIDS is present in epidemic proportions. Grossly unsanitary liv-. ing conditions may be factors in its spread there. In the United States, AIDS is spreading to the heterosexual community through prostitution, promiscuity, and intravenous drug abuse-we are seeing the tip of the iceberg at this point. There is nothing worse for persons who are committed to improving health and bettering quality of life than to see a vital, young life slip away before their eyes and to have no power to help. It is . agonizing to watch parents, confused and bewildered, trying to understand why this has happened to their child. There always seems so much to do in such a short time, so much to talk about and get "out in the open" about sexuality and about significant relationships that have been "kept hidden" from the family. It is strange how, so often, nothing has really been kept hidden from someone who loves you, but how it can still be very hard to talk about some sUbjects. AIDS has too long been kept on the shelf as a feared and special disease of the few. It is in fact a devastating health hazard for many. Only through open understanding of the disease and willingness to help its victims can we as a human community hope to help stem the spread of the disease until· medical sCience can find a cure or a protective vaccine. AIDS is a total community problem, not just a problem of a few. 12 / Manna for the Journey Manna for the Joumey / 13 appointment to AIDS ministry. He is coordinator ofthe AIDS Project in Berkeley California. Prior 10 that, he workedfor the Shanti Project and San Francisco General Hospital. With no solution to AIDS seemingly close at hand, it is.essential that all those concerned about the disease organize community responses to it. Those r~sponses must be organized on every possible level -emotional, spiritual, physical, and social, as well as political and individual. Not only gay men and others in so-called high risk groups, but all of us, are truly fighting for our lives. And, although death is not the enemy, quality living is definitely the ally that makes us activists and reconcilers together. Before any of us can begin successful AIDS work, we must build into our lives, our work, and the experience of our peers a good support system. Ifwe have no support group that really works, none of us can do our best to help others. Without solid support from those around us, we are likely to "burn out" and find it too hard to get past our own concerns. In nearly three years of working in an AIDS project in California, I have learned, most importantly, that a basic rule of leadership must be followed for a project to be successful: a leader must be willing to delegate tasks, diversify program approaches, and make room for others to carry on and expand into areas where he or she, as leader, cannot or will not go. An AIDS project must rapidly surpass its first leader's individual vision of it and have room for new visions and new leaders. Any AIDS program should make sure that it, or some other program in its area, provides three important types of services: direct services (including counseling and support, social services, and education); county/government services (including medical resources and funding); and community services (including grassroots lobbying, networking, and advocacy). Direct Services Direct services are the heart-and-soul of an AIDS project. One important part of these services is providing group and individual counseling and support for persons with AIDS and AIDS-related Complex "Providing Services" by Jeremy Landau --------------------(ARC) and for their lovers, families, and friends. It is Jeremy Landau is an ordained minister in the UMC under special. h· d d . d I Important t at traine an commItte vo unteers supervised bypaid AIDS-sensitive staff be used as much as possible. As a program is set up, a 200% increase in clients each year should be anticipated. All too often, "significant others" and ARC clients end up on waiting lists. Steps should also be taken to ensure that peer support and supervision is available for staff, volunteers, and health professionals. (Nevertheless, because there can easily be a scarcity of volunteers available to a project, it may sometimes have to curtail some services in favor of others as the epidemic increases in an area. Project leaders should carefully plan what steps to take in the event of such a necessity.) Social services for persons with AIDS (PWAs) include providing assistance in obtaining Medicare, food stamps, Social Security, insurance benefits, emergency services, and basic human rights from service providers, landlords, employers, and others. These services are a frequently frustrating maze of subsistence services often provided by overburdened Civil Service employees. Presumptive eligibility must be fought for and maintained uniformly throughout the United States. Unfortunately, persons with ARC are ineligible for most benefits, even though they often are as sick as or sicker than PWAs. Education is the most important preventive measure available to help stop the spread of AIDS. Although education often seems futile, in the end it does payoff. It sensitizes a community on basic AIDS issues and new developments, and it draws out sensitive individuals willing to help. Sometimes, those individuals are in key positions affecting AIDSrelated issues. One important group that can benefit from education is health-care providers, who can be sensitized to such concerns as homophobia, racism, and phobias against hustlers, prostitutes, and drug users. Frequently, AIDS projects can provide those persons with information beyond the basic level that other health agencies can provide. In addition, education can help community AIDS services identify those health-care providers who are most likely to deal with the AIDS epidemic and with whom it is therefore important to maintain contact. (continued on page 16) 14 / Manna for the Journey "Organizing a Community" by John Hannay ----------------------------------------~ T hR ' d t if TIT I Th I . IS' d JO n annay zs a gra ua e 0 /'Y es ey eo ogzca emznary an a consultant with nonprofit organizations in the Washington. D.C.. area. The appearance of a disease like AIDS within the gay/lesbian community may have seemed, to many persons, to spell an end to hopes for ending discrimination and homophobia. Fortunately, however, although AIDS has posed serious challenges for the gay/lesbian liberation movement, ithas not been a death knell. Rather, it has been a stimulus for growth in the midst of a seemingly hopeless tragedy. It has helped gay men and lesbians to grow as a community by focusing their energies in the direction of the ultimate values of human life and by creating a challenge to demonstrate a love that endures even unto death. The chief means for that growth has been a network of AIDS service organizations that have sprung up in communities throughout North America and Europe. From September 1983 through October 1984, I served in the leadership of one such local AIDS project. I served as program manager for the AIDS Education Fund of the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, D.C. Although originally started as a health education program aimed at helping individuals reduce their risks of acquiring the disease, the project developed into a much broader operation with programs in three general areas -public education and prevention, support for persons with AIDS (PWAs) and their loved ones, and clinical assessment and referral for persons experiencing AIDS-like symptoms. The only paid workers were myself and a half-time staff assistant. Most of the fund's work was done by volunteers. One real advantage of the program has been its sponsorship by a clinic that already had a long history of involvement with the local gay/lesbian community and a strong base around which the local AIDS response movement could grow. WhitmanWalker had been founded in the early 1970s by a group of concerned leaders of the gay/lesbian movement. The clinic's chief purpose was to provide quality treatment for the unique health care needs of gay men and lesbians in a way that respected their privacy. For 10 years before the outbreak ofAIDS, it had run a venereal disease screening clinic for gay and bisexual men. Its alcohol and drug treatment . programs for both gay men and lesbIans were reputed to be among the best in the city. Most of the necessary groundwork for launching a successful project had been done before I arrived at the AIDS Education Fund. General programmatic goals had been set. An educational forum to attract media attention and volunteers had been held. Sufficient money to begin the work had been raised through public grants and private fundraising benefits. What was needed immediately was to turn all this commitment and energy into an ongoing organization. I was both thrilled and terrified. Here was a chance for us in the Washington area gay/lesbian community to make a difference on an issue of undeniable importance. Here also was a chance to show those afflicted with AIDS how much they were loved and how much potential life still held for them. With a public eye turned on us, we dug in. During the next year, the project grew rapidly. More than 100 volunteers began providing PWAs with support services such as grocery shopping, trips to the doctor, and nights at the movies. Four support groups -also led by volunteers -were operating; two were for PWAs, and two were for family members/lovers. Six educational forums were held, reaching an estimated 1,200 individuals. "Safe sex" posters and pamphlets were placed in local entertainment establishments and bookstores. Leaders of the fund appeared on several radio and TV talk shows. Local print and broadcast media received assistance in preparing stories on AIDS. A local telephone information line was set up, answering between 150 and 200 calls a month. A bimonthly newsletter on AIDS was published, and a special mass transit advertising campaign aimed at racial and ethnic minority populations was being planned. The fund not only helped Washington area gay men and lesbians to grow as a community; it also helped those of us who were involved in it to grow individually. Many persons with no prior experience or self-confidence in either community organizing or human services appeared to volunteer. After training in necessary skills, many of those volunteers used them with great facility. Some have since become community leaders in other areas. (continued on page 16) Manna for the Journey / 15 "Providing Services" (continued) County/Government Services Currently, government health departments provide most AIDS services and control most of the funds available for other AIDS-related programs whether those funds be for health and welfare, mental health, social, or prevention services. It is important that networks be established with individuals in the relevant governmental service areas, as well as to maintain a "watchful eye" to ensure that quality services are easily accessible to all populations. It is still the poor, especially the urban poor, who need the most and have access to the least care. Community Services Grassroots organizing is vital to the continuation of local AIDS work. Boards of directors ofAIDS projects must include PWAs, persons of color, and professionals with clout in their communities. Community resource organizations must be established to carefully watch community and government services. The public and private sectors must be made AIDSsensitive, AIDS-aware, and AIDS-activist. Elected officials must be identified for lobbying efforts. "Organizing a Community" (collfillued) Since I left the fund, it has continued to expand. It is important to note that such growth and community development is possible not only in communities such as Washington where lesbians and gay men are politically organized and legally protected. Organized responses to AIDS can be achieved in any community, provided there is the will and openness to accept possible criticism along the way. The existence of many AIDS projects in smaller cities and rural areas testifies to that. Through trial and error, several important principles have surfaced in AIDS-related work around the country that are crucial to acknowledge: 1. Begin preventive education efforts as quickly as possible in a local area, even if there are no reported AIDS cases. The potential for AIDS always exists. Besides staving off possible future cases, such organizing for education can also make ready an appropriate social services support network once AIDS does appear. 2. Draw upon already established community organizations and networks when setting up an AIDS project. These organizations/networks can range from informal social groups to well-established community newspapers. Attachment to a reputable and trusted community health establishment is a real plus that should be arranged if at all possible. 3. Structure any organizing in terms of the broad community, not just sub populations mostly at risk. AIDS is not a gay disease; rather, it is a threat to everyone, which so far has struck certain population groups, such as gay and bisexual men, most frequently. The whole community must be responsible for 'its response. Doing this work is no easy task. Fortunately, relevant information can be obtained from already established AIDS centers so that those starting new programs can benefit from others' experiences and mistakes. The load can also be made lighter by encouraging spiritual support groups, interfaith organizations, fundraiser coalitions, hospice groups, and AIDS-specific activities as ways to spread the tasks around and to involve individuals with particular interests or limited time. AIDS work can be both sobering and enriching. In my case, I have had to confront and reconfront life issues of my own -my health, my sexuality, my successes and failures, and, most especially, my own phobias. I know that I still fall in love, so to speak, with my clients, They are my teachers and my allies. I still miss Michael, Doug, Paul, and others. Ifthis closeness were to stop, I would probably leave AIDS work. I am so proud of my brothers and sisters involved in AIDS work, as well as the people with AIDS who have fought and continue to fight -successfully for the rights and dignity of people living with AIDS. 4. Include persons with AIDS in decision making and public presence to the maximum extent possible. PWAs are the most helpful resources of an AIDS project as well as the most frequent recipients of its services. They can provide valuable feedback regarding educational programs, and, at public forums or in the media, their presence can help break down prejudices about AIDS. 5. Involve all community subgroups from the very beginning. All too often AIDS projects tend to get started almost solely by upwardly mobile white gay men. AIDS, however, does not respect age, gender, racial, or economic boundaries. 6. Obtain the involvement and cooperation of both public and private sector groups. AIDS is a total community health issue. Involvement of municipal public health and welfare agencies, backed up by funding from state and federal agencies, is a necessity. Yet the response to AIDS cannot be left solely to governmental bureaucracies. It also needs an all-accepting "human touch" that only volunteers can provide. 7. Insist that all public and private help be provided without prejudice or judgment against anyone. The unqualified acceptance of those who either have the disease or are at risk is ground rule number one. Intolerance and prejudice have no place in AIDS work. Responding to AIDS is a public health issue not an arena in which to make moral or theological pronouncements. Tragically, AIDS is spreading. But with it is spreading organization and growth. Any community can do AIDS-related work. As we learned in Washington, D.C., this disease can be faced, with positive results for a community's quality of life. 16 / Manna Jar the Journey --------------------------------- PMfJffof'!J6untJNan: A ~Lament 1m 102 is the lament of a young man who is suffering from a serious illness. This lament expresses the feelings of that man as he searches for peace in his life. Laments were integral parts of the ritual of mourning in the Hebrew religion. Through words and songs, laments expressed grief that was felt by the community. Read this Psalm antiphonally as a community lament for the lives of our brothers and sisters who have AIDS or who have died from AIDS. Ask a dancer in your congregation to create an interpretive dance to be performed during the reading of the Psalm. LEFf: I'sa/mKJZ Right: ALMIGHTY GOD, HEAR MY PRAYER AND Hide not your face from me when I am in distress. LET MY CRY FOR HELP REACH THEE, LISTEN TO MY PRAYER AND, WHEN I CALL, For my days vanish like smoke, my body is burnt up ANSWER ME SOON; as in an oven. I AM STRICKEN, WITHERED LIKE GRASS; I Wasted away, I groan aloud and my skin hangs on CANNOT FIND THE STRENGTH TO EAT. my bones. I AM LIKE A DESERT OWL IN THE WILDERThin and meagre, I wail in solitude, like a bird that NESS, AN OWL THAT LIVES AMONG RUINS. flutters on the rooftop. MY ENEMIES INSULT ME ALL THE DAY LONG; I have eaten ashes for bread and mingled tears with MAD WITH RAGE, THEY CONSPIRE AGAINST my drink. ME. IN YOUR WRATH AND FURY, YOU HAVE My days decline as the shadows lengthen and like TAKEN ME UP AND FLUNG ME ASIDE. grass I wither away. BUT YOU, GRACIOUS GOD, ARE ENTHRONED You will arise and have mercy on Zion; for the time is FOREVER AND YOUR FAME SHALL BE come to pity it KNOWN TO ALL GENERATIONS. ITS VERY STONES ARE DEAR TO YOUR SERThen shall the nations revere your name, 0 God, and VANTS, AND EVEN ITS DUST MOVES THEM all the leaders of the earth your glory, WITH PITY. WHEN YOU BUILD UP ZION AGAIN AND You turn to hear the prayer of the destitute and do not SHOW YOUR GLORY. scorn them when they pray. MY STRENGTH IS BROKEN IN MID COURSE; Snatch me not away before half my days are done, for THE TIME ALLOTTED ME IS SHORT. your years last through all generations. LONG AGO YOU DID LAY THE FOUNDATIONS They shall pass away, but you endure; like clothes, OF THE EARTH, AND THE HEAVENS WERE they shall all grow old; YOUR HANDIWORK. YOU SHALL CAST THEM OFF LIKE A CLOAK, And they shall vanish; BUT YOU ARE THE SAME, AND YOUR YEARS Your servants' children shall continue. SHALL HAVE NO END; Together: And their posterity shall be established in your presence. Manna for the Journey / 17 d Introducing Reconciling Congregations Nine Reconciling Congregations were introduced in our first issue. Here we present brief profiles of three other Reconciling Conbregations. (A complete list of congregations in the program is given below.) St. John's UMC-Baltimore, MD St. John's is a congregation that has, literally, risen from the ashes. A fire in 1982 destroyed the roof of the church building. Unable to utilize the facility for the following year, the congregation set about to intentionally plan the restoration of the building to fit the ministries the church would undertake. This has evolved into a ministry of hospitality. The building, with its many multipurpose rooms, is open to use by many community groups, ranging from social services to theater companies. The Baltimore Metropolitan Community Church (which met at St. John's prior to the fire) has returned to make the building its church home. St. John's provided facilities for Affirmation during the 1984 General Conference. The small congregation, comprised primarily of persons who live in the neighborhood, is multiracial and covers the age range from students to the elderly. St. John's has been active in the sanctuary movement for Central American refugees and has a refugee living in the church building. Calvary UMC-Philadelphia, PA Calvary UMC is a model of a congregation engaged in urban ministry. Three part-time clergy provide support to a varied program of ministries, including a credit union, the Central American Organizing Project, the Women's School, a food cooperative, a radio station (WPEB), and an intergenerational housing program. Participation by members of the congregation and community in Calvary's ministries has been the key to its success. The congregation of 187 members is multiracial and covers all ages. Lay participation in innovative worship experiences is an integral part of Calvary's life. A special program allows for the placement of two social work interns from Switzerland each year to assist with the ministries of the congregation. Capitol Hill UMC-Seattle, WA Capitol Hill UMC has a long history of involvement in social justice concerns. Shifts in the urban population around the location of the church has resulted in a decline to' the present worshipping community of 35 persons. Despite its small size, Capitol Hill has maintained its vitality as a church-in-ministry. Individuals in the congregation are actively engaged in a variety of community service and justice-seeking ministries. One special feature of the congregation is that it includes several returned clergy and other seminary graduates. The church houses a lounge that is open weekdays for street people and persons with chronic mental illness. The congregation serves free meals twice a month. The local congregati'on of the Metropolitan Community Church has met in the church building for 12 years. Washington Square in the News Washington Square UMC in New York City attracted nationwide media coverage early this summer concerning the Harvey Milk School, housed in the church's building. The Harvey Milk School is an alternative learning opportunity for lesbian and gay youth for whom harassment has precluded participation in a regular public school. The school (named by the students for the former San Francisco supervisor who was assassinated in 1978) is authorized by the New York City Board of Education and managed by the Institute for the Protection of Lesbian and Gay Youth. After a New York City newspaper reported the school's existence, the Family Defense Coalition, a local fundamentalist religious group, called a news conference on the steps of the church building to demand the closing of the schooL Facing a barrage of media attention, Washington Square leaders were adamant in their support for the schools' right to existence. The congregation recognizes that to provide housing for the school is an extension of its ministry. The following statement was issued by the Administrative Council of the church: Washington Square United Methodist Church supports the New York City Board of Education in its effort to provide education through the Harvey Milk SchooL We believe all students are entitled to a public education, regardless of sexual orientation. We know that there are times when people who have been persecuted for being different need to gather together with those like themselves for support in order to return to mainstream life. The school serves young people who might not otherwise complete their education. We applaud its efforts to provide an atmosphere which enables learning for these students. The Harvey Milk School came to us in search of a classroom to use. We have been happy to provide this facility for them as a part of our Christian ministry of love and reconciliation. We hope and pray for the day when lesbian and gay students can attend public high schools as fully accepted participants in all areas of school life. Washington Square agreed to give the school classroom space after the schoool encountered difficulties finding appropriate facilities. The school has met in the church building since mid-ApriL 18 / Manna for the Journey A Reconciling Congregation Looks At Its Past-And Its Future Wallingford UMC in Seattle recently concluded a celebration and evaluation of its ministry as a Reconciling Congregation. A series of events included a "Reconciling Sunday" worship service, an adult education session, two informal discussions during coffee hours, a written questionnaire distributed to the congregation, and discussions at Administrative Council meetings. The results of the evaluation were strongly affirmative. Persons responded that they discovered new dimensions in their faith as they were challenged to broaden their love to include all persons. Many in the congregation expressed that they had grown to know and understand each other more as a Christian community through this experience. Several persons stated that they had come to the church or had become more actively involved due to its ministry as a Reconciling Congregation. Hopes for the future which were expressed included continued dialogue and healing with some members of the congregation who remain uncomfortable with the ministry to lesbians and gay men. Desire for continued study of human sexuality was stated. The resolve to evangelize -to spread the good news of Wallingford's ministry -was manifest in a resolution sent to the annual conference recommending the Reconciling Congregation Program to other congregations. Congratulations -to Bethany UMC, San Francisco, celebrating its 20th anniversary as a congregation. -to Washington Square UMC, New York City, on its 125th anniversary. "Day of Solidarity" Proclaimed in the Presbyterian Church Representatives of the 32 More Light congregations (the Presbyterian equivalent of Reconciling Congregations) gathered this past spring to share their joys and struggles and to plan concerted actions. One outcome of that meeting was to declare Reformation Sunday, October 27, to be a "Day of Solidarity" for the full inclusion of all all persons, including lesbians and gay men in the life of the church. The gathering also created an "Mfirmation of an Inclusive Church" which is being circulated as a petition and sent to leaders of the Presbyterian Church (USA). For more information on the More Light Program or the "Day of Solidarity," contact Shirley Hinkamp, 300 W. 55th Street #101, New York, NY 10019. Annual Conference Actions Several annual conferences of the UMC passed resolutions related to the church's ministry with lesbians and gay men this summer. The North Georgia, New York, and CaliforniaNevada conferences passed resolutions calling on the church to be engaged in AIDS-related ministries. The Pacific-Northwest, California-Pacific, and CaliforniaNevada conferences encouraged local churches to be in ministry with lesbians and gay men. The Minnesota Conference approved a resolution on the civil rights of lesbians and gay men. The complete text ofeach ofthese resolutions is given below. Manna for the Journey / 19 20/Manna for the Journey List of Reconciling Congregations Bethany UMC Sl John's UMC Washington Square UMC c/o Christine E. Shiber c/o Howard Nash c/o Cathie Lyons 1268 Sanchez Street 2705 S1. Paul Street 135 W. 4th Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Baltimore, MD 21218 New York, NY 10012 Calvary UMC Sl Paufs UMC WesleyUMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o George Christie c/o Warren Russell 815 S. 48th Street 1615 Ogden Street 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19143 Denver, CO 80218 Fresno, CA 93710 Capitol Hill UMC Sunnyhills UMC Wheadon UMC c/o Pat Dougherty c/o Martha Chow c/o Carol Larson 128 Sixteenth East 335 Dixon Road 2212 Ridge Avenue Seattle, WA 98112 Milpitas, CA 95035 Evanston, IL 60201 Central UMC University UMC c/o Howard Abts c/o Stephen Webster 701 West Central at Scottwood 1127 University Avenue Toledo, OH 43610 Madison, WI 53715 EdgehiliUMC Wallingford UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Chuck Richards 1502 Edgehill Avenue 2115 N. 42nd Street Nashville, TN 37212 Seattle, WA 98103 Manna for the Journey /21 __________________________________________ rl ~ Churches (UFMCC), 5300 Santa National Coalition of Gay Monica Blvd., #304, Los Angeles, CA STD Services To find out what work is being 90029. 75ct each or $15/hundred. P.O. Box 239 done in providing community eduMilwaukee, WI 53201-0239 cation on AIDS and support ser" AIDS Training for Volunteers and 414/277-7671 Health Care Providers." A training vices for AIDS patients, check with manual available from The Pacific National Gay Health Association an organization in your area. This Center AIDS Project; P.O. Box 908; 206 N. 35th Street list of organizations working in Berkeley, California 94701. Philadelphia, PA 19143 AIDS-related areas has been put 215/386-5327 together from a variety of sources. It "AIDS Care Beyond the Hospital." A is not intended to be exhaustive of videotape available from San FranNational Gay Health Education all such organizations. It excludes cisco AIDS Foundation; 333 ValenFoundation those which charge for services. Specia; San Francisco, California 94103. P.O. Box 784 cial thanks goes to the Federation of New York, NY 10036 AIDS Related Organizations and 212/563-6313 the AIDS Education Fund of the NATIONAL AIDS-RELATED ORGANIZATIONS National Gay Task Force American Association of Physicians for Human Rights Whitman-Walker Clinic (Washing80 Fifth Avenue ton, D.C.) for their assistance in New York, NY 10011 1050 W. Pacific Coast Highway compiling this list. 212/741-5800Harbor City, CA 90710 Note that some of the agencies 213/548-0491 provide multiple services, while National People With AIDS Projects others are only contacts for informac/ o AIDS Atlanta tion and referrals. American Psychological Association 1801 Piedmont Road, #208 Washington, D.C. 20036 1200 17th Street, N.W. Atlanta, GA 30324 202/955-7600 404/872 -0600 AN AIDS BIBLIOGRAPHY Cahill, Kevin M., ed. The AIDS EpiWomen's AIDS Network demic. New York: St. Martin's Press, Association of Lesbian 707 San Bruno Avenue 1983. & Gay Psychologists San Francisco, CA 94117 1200 17th Street, N.W. American Psychological Association 415/821-7984 Cantwell, Alan, Jr. AIDS: The Mystery Washington, DC 20036 and the Solution. Los Angeles: Aries 202/955-7600 Rising Press, 1983. ARIZONA Gay Nurses' Alliance Fe ttner, Ann Guidici and William A. Tucson Gay Health Project 608 W. 28th Street Check. The Truth About AIDS: P.O. Box 2807 Evolution of an Epidemic. New York: Wilmington, DE 19802 Tucson, AZ 85702 Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1984. Gay Rights National Lobby/ 302/7 64-2208 Tucson Gay Men's Clinic Fromer, Margot Joan. AIDS: Acquired AIDS Project 101 W. Irvington Road Immune Deficiency Syndrome. New P.O. Box 1892 Tucson, AZ 85714 York: Pinnacle Books, 1983. Washington, D.C. 20013 202/546-1801 CALIFORNIA Mayer, Ken and Hank Pizer. The AIDS Gay Men's Health Collective Fact Book. New York: Bantam Books, National AIDS/Pre-AIDS 2339 Durant Avenue1983. Epidemiological Network Berkeley, CA 94704-1670 2676 N. Halsted Street Shelp, Earl E. and Ronald H. Sunder415/ 644-0425 land. "AIDS and the Church." The Chicago, IL 60614 312/943-6600 x424, x389 Christian Century 102 (September AIDS Response Program 11-18, 1985): 797-800. National AIDS Research Gay & Lesbian Community Services & Education Center of Orange CountySiegal, Frederick P. and Marta Siegal. 54 Tenth Street 12832 Garden Grove Blvd., # 200 AIDS: The Medical Mystery. New San Francisco, CA 94103 Garden Grove, CA 92643York: Grove Press, 1983. 415/626-8784 714/534-0862 "AIDS-Is It God's Judgment?" and National Association for Lesbian "What Is the Christian Response to AIDS Project/LA & Gay Gerontology AIDS?" Two pamphlets which can 937 N. Cole, #3 be ordered from: Universal Fellow271 Lacasa Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90038 ship of Metropolitan Community San Mateo, CA 94403 415/349-4537 213/871-1284 22 / Manna for the ]OUllley People With AIDS -Los Angeles AIDS Coordinator KENTUCKY c/o Trainor State Department of Health Services Lexington Gay Services Organization 1752 N. Fuller 150 Washington Street P.O. Box 11471 Los Angeles, CA 90046 Hartford, CT 06106 Lexington, KY 40511 203/566-5058 606/231-0335 Southern CA Mobilization Against AIDS 1428 N. McCadden Place AIDS Project/New Haven LOUISIANA Los Angeles, CA 90028 P.O. Box 636 Crescent City Coalition 2l3/463-3928 New Haven, CT 06503 Louisiana Community Center 203/624-2437 1022 Barracks Street Sacramento AIDS/KS Foundation New Orleans, LA 70116 211 5 J Street, #3 504/568-9619 DELAWARE Sacramento, CA 95816 Gay & Lesbian Alliance of Delaware 9l6/448-AIDS P.O. Box 9218 MARYLAND Wilmington, DE 19809 Baltimore Health Education Owen Clinic 302/7 64-2208 Resource Organization University of California Medical Center Medical Arts Building 225 Dickinson Street DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Read and Cathedral Street San Diego, CA 92103 Baltimore, MD 21201AIDS Education Fund 714/294-6737 Whitman-Walker Clinic 301/947-2437 2335 18th Street, N.W. AIDS Interfaith Network Washington, DC 2()()()<) Gay Community Center of Baltimore 890 Hayes Street Health Clinic 202/332-5295San Francisco, CA 94117 241 W. Chase Street, 3rd Floor415/558-9644 Baltimore, MD 21201 FLORIDA 301/837-2050People With AIDS/SF AIDS Action Committee 1040 Ashbury, # 5 Florida Keys Memorial Hospital San Francisco, CA 94117 P.O. Box 4073 MASSACHUSETTS 415/665-3787 Key West, FL 33041 AIDS Action Project Fenway Community Health Center San Francisco AIDS Foundation Tampa Bay AIDS 16 Haviland Street 54 Tenth Street P.O. Box 350217 Boston, MA 02115 San Francisco, CA 94117 Tampa, FL 33695-0217 617/267-7573 415/864-4376 Mayor's Task Force on AIDS GEORGIA Shanti Project Room 608AIDS Atlanta 890 Hayes Street City Hall 1801 Piedmont Road, #208 San Francisco, CA 94117 Boston, MA 02201Atlanta, GA 30324 41 5/558-9644 404/872-0600 MICHIGAN AIDS Foundation of Santa Clara County People With AIDS-Atlanta Palmer Clinic 715 N. First Street, # 10 c/o G. McGahee 22750 Woodward San Jose, CA 05112 1235 Monroe Drive, # 1 Detroit, MI 48220408/298-AIDS Atlanta, GA 30306 Wellness Networks, Inc. COLORADO P.O. Box 1046 ILLINOIS AIDS Action Project Colorado AIDS Project Royal Oak, MI 48068 Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Howard Brown Memorial Clinic 800/521-7946 x3582 Colorado 2676 N. Halsted 800/482-2404 x3582 (MI) 1436 Lafayette Street Chicago, IL 60614 Denver, CO 80218 312/871-5777 MINNESOTA Minnesota AIDS Project CONNECTICUT 303/837-0166 People With AIDS-Chicago Lesbian and Gay Community Services Hartford Gay Health Collective c/o Hall 124 West Lake Street 281 Collins Street 3414 N. Halsted Street Minneapolis, MN 55408 Hartford, CT 06105 Chicago, IL 60657 612/827-5614 (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey /23 Gay Men's Health Crisis OKLAHOMA AIDS Task Force Box 274 Health Guard Foundation c/o Dept. of Anthropology 132 W. 24th Street 417 N.W. 9th Street New York, NY 10011 Oklahoma City, OK 73102 212/807-6655 Washington University 405/235-5693St. Louis, MO 63130 Office of Gay & Lesbian Health OREGON NYC Dept. of Health Cascade AIDS Project NEVADA 125 Worth Street, #604 Phoenix Rising FoundationSouthern Nevada Social Services New York, NY 10013 408 S.W. Second, Room 407 P.O. Box 71014 Portland, OR 97204 Las Vegas, NY 89109 People With AIDS/NY 503/223-8299 702/733-9990 Box G27 444 Hudson Street AIDS Task Force New York, NY 10014 Good Samaritan Hospital NEW JERSEY 212/929-5741 NW 23rd Street New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition Portland, OR 97120 AIDS Rochester P.O. Box 1421 1063 E. Main Street PENNSYINANIA New Brunswick, NJ 08903 Rochester, NY 14608 Philadelphia AIDS Task Force P.O. Box 7259 New Jersey State Dept. of Health East End Organization for Philadelphia, PA 19101Division of Communicable Diseases Human Rights 215/232-8055AIDS Office P.O. Box 87 Health & Agriculture Building South Hampton, NY 11968 PUERTO RICO Trenton, NJ 08625 Latin American STD Center 609/292-7300 Long Island AIDS Task Force Centro Medico School of Allied Health Professions Rio Piedras, PR 00922 Health Sciences Center -SUNY 809/754-8118 NEW MEXICO Stony Brook, NY 11794 New Mexico Physicians for 516/444-AIDS TEXAS AIDS Task Force Human Rights Mid-Hudson AIDS Task Force Dallas Gay AllianceP.O. Box 1361 Gay Men's Alliance P.O. Box 190712 Espanola, NM 87532 255 Grove Street Dallas, TX 75219 White Plains, NY 10601 214/528-4233AIDS Task Force P.O. Box 968 NORTH CAROLINA Oak Lawn Counseliqg Center Santa Fe, NM 87504 AIDS Project AIDS Project Lesbian & Gay Health Project 3409 Oak Lawn, #202 P.O. Box 11013 Dallas, TX 75219 Durham, NC 27703 214/528-2081 NEW YORK 919/286-0079Capitol District AIDS People With AIDS-Dallas332 Hudson Avenue GROW, A Community Service c/o Oak Lawn Counseling CenterAlbany, NY 12210 Corporation 3409 Oak Lawn, #202 518/465-6094 P.O. Box 4535 Dallas, TX 75219 Wilmington, NC 28406 Haitian Coalition of AIDS 919/675-9222 ¥..8/AIDS Foundation of Houston 225 Eastern Parkway 1001 Westheimer, #193 Brooklyn, NY 11238 Houston, TX 77006 212/783-2676 OHIO 713/524-AIDS 3101 Burnet Avenue Buffalo AIDS Task Force Ambrose Clement Health Clinic Cincinnati, OH 45229 Montrose Clinic P.O. Box 38 104 Westheimer Bidwell Station Cleveland AIDS Foundation Houston, TX 77006 Buffalo, NY 14222 11900 Edgewater Drive, #907 713/528-5531 716/886-1274 Lakewood, OH 44107 WASHINGTON AIDS Resource Center Open Door Clinic Seattle AIDS Action Project 235 W. 18th Street 237 E. 17th Street 113 Summit Avenue E., #204 New York, NY 10011 Columbus, OH 43201 Seattle, WA 98102 212/206-1414 614/294-6337 206/323-1229 24 / Manna for the Joumey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 2 - Living and Dying With AIDS https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/9c858c3692bcca464d24922e0e148e3d.pdf b056e3a1fa08155ac6d5f7f42ba75b14 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document VOL 1, NO.3 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 WINTER 1986 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: A Christian's Case for Civil Rights .............. 6 by Arthur Flemming Discrimination: A Series of Three Articles Loss of Housing and Employment . . . . . . . . . . .. 8 by Tim Tyner and Robert HoH Loss of Parenting Rights. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 9 by Rosalie Davies Abuse and Violence . .......... .............. 11 by Paul Vandenberg and Kevin Berrill ~ The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm th ir mini try with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In thi network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries. the program provides resource materials, including Manna for the Journey. Enablers are available locally to assi t a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue Kevin Berrill Beth Richardson Mark Bowman Bradley Rymph Rosalie Davies Tim Tyner Arthur Flemming Paul Vandenberg Morris Floyd Ralph Watkins Mary Gaddis Steven Webster Robert Holt Fronda Woods Lloyd Lewis William Oliver Graphic Designer Rebecca Parker Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. PermiSSion to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. VOL I, NO. 3 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 WINTER 1986 Contents This edition of Manna for the Journey explores issues relating to lesbian and gay civil rights. Religious publications of recent years have covered the relationship between lesbians/gay men and the church, but have seldom dealt with the status of lesbians and gay men in society. The discrimination faced by lesbians and gay men in our society is presented in three articles: "Abuse and Violence" (p. 11) by Paul Vandenberg and Kevin Berrill; "Loss ofParenting Rights" (p. 9) by Rosalie Davies; and "Loss ofHousing and Employment" (p. 8) by Tim Tyner and Robert Holt. Two case studies analyze particular lesbian/gay civil rights initiatives with an eye toward church involvement. In "Justice in Wisconsin " (p. 20) Steven Earl Webster recounts the passage of the Wisconsin state law in 1982. William Oliver tells of the 1985 referendum which repealed the city of Houston's civil rights ordinance in "Backlash in Houston" (p. 22). Arthur S. Flemming, the well-known civil rights activist, reminds people of faith of their impetus to speak out on the civil rights of all persons in ':A Christian's Case for Civil Rights" (p. 6). To define the arenas in which people of faith can be engaged, Fronda Woods presents "The National Agenda for Lesbian/Gay Civil Rights" (p. 14) and Ralph Watkins provides some practical guidance for 'Involving the Church at the Local Level" (p. 16). "Rights in Question" (p.12) by Morris Floyd looks at the impact of the AIDS epidemic on lesbian and gay civil rights. An anonymous author offers a reflection on "Linking Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia."(p. 5). This issue also provides a partial listing of national organizations, books, and articles on lesbian/gay civil rights in Resources (p. 24). "In Praise of Wisdom" is the theme of a reading and prayer by Rebecca Parker in Sustaining the Spirit (p. 19). Parker is the pastor of Wallingford U.M. Church in Seattle, Washington. The RCP Report (p. 3 ) introduces new Reconciling Congregations and reports on two annual conferences who have given support to the Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP). We trust that this issue will stimulate your awareness of the marginalized status of lesbians and gay men in our society and catalyze church involvement in the civil rights struggles of all persons. Shalom. ~ OF ..----R riCE 2/Manila jar [he JowlIey ISSN 0884-8327 The building houses a senior citizen's housing costs. The church is working Introducing program and was the site of a Head on developing co-ops by obtaining Reconciling Congregations Start program for several years. The housing from the city. In the first two issues ofManna for congregation gives financial support Park Slope has a threefold prothe Journey, we presented brief profiles to several community programs for gram focus. First, there is a focus on of twelve Reconciling Congregations. low-income families and has been the natural growth of the self and Here are three more congregations who active in programs serving Washingdevelopment of persons. Members have recently joined the program. A ton's homeless population. Bet Mishare learning the discipline of meditacomplete list of Reconciling Contion. Second, there is a concern, for pachah, a lesbian and gay synagregations is given below. gogue, shares the church building. society, for justice and freedom for all persons. Park Slope is a support The Gay Men's Chorus of WashUMC/ University-Madison, WI church for the sanctuary movement, ington also uses the building for University Church has a conis a nuclear-free zone, and is active some rehearsals. gregation of 150 members. It is a in South African issues. Third, the campus church with a congregation congregation is committed to protect comprised of students, faculty, and and learn about the natural world. Annual Conference-Level staff of the University of Wisconsin, The sun, the moon, and the earth are Activities Madison, as well as many people seen as instruments of God's creaTwo annual conferences of the tion. The congregation holds equinox from around the city. University United Methodist Church have, in UMC is an urban-style church with and solstice celebrations in the church some way, extended their official a variety of ages. gardens. support to the Reconciling ConFounded in 1913 in a residential The pastor of Park Slope, A gregation Program. We note them area, the congregation has always Finley Schaef, is a former pastor of briefly here: been active in the "social gospel" Washington Square. One of Paul movement. It started the second Abels' predecessors, he was the pasRocky Mountain Annual Conference Wesley Foundation in the nation. tor to open Washington Square to In the fall of 1984, the ReconcilThe programs of University UMC gay liberation groups in the late ing Congregation Program was apare diverse. Since it has a large build1960s. proved by the conference Council on ing, space is provided for community Park Slope first began examining Ministries. A cover letter written by groups such as the Madison Ecugay/ lesbian issues a year ago when a the conference lay leader was sent menical Urban Ministries and the congregation of the Metropolitan with information about the RCP to Gay/Lesbian Resource Center. The Community Church approached the each church's pastor, lay leader, and congregation is involved in hunger church to request rental of facilities. United Methodist Women chairperissues and supports the sanctuary son. The letter recommended the UMC/Christ-Washington, DC movement. University UMC has a program to the local church for Christ Church is a relatively new good choir and continues to sponsor consideration. congregation. It was founded just an active Wesley Foundation. Currently, two or three conover 20 years ago when two dwinUniversity UMC first became gregations are considering the prodling congregations in Washington involved in lesbian/gay issues in gram. were merged and relocated to a vast 1974, when Steve Webster, an openly California-Nevada new community being developed gay member, sought a license to Annual Conference through an urban-renewal project in preach. A growing number of gay Last June, the California-Nevada southwest DC. Through ministries men and lesbians have become with residents of this new comAnnual Conference passed a resoluinvolved in the church. Currently, tion in support of the Reconciling munity, Christ Church has grown one-half of new members joining are Congregation Program (see the full into a racially mixed congregation gay or lesbian. text of this resolution and a resoluwith about 225 members. UMC/Park Slope-Brooklyn, NY Worship and community life are tion on AIDS listed in Mannafor the Journey, vol. 1, no. 2). This resolution focal points of the congregation. A Park Slope Church is a congregastrong music program supports the was brought to the annual contion of 175 members, located in a ference by the conference Board of Sunday morning worship. A Black middle/working class neighborhood Church and Society, which had Heritage celebration each February of Brooklyn, NY. The membership is is one highlight of the worship life. approved the resolution with no racially mixed, though preIn addition, several small support abstentions or "no" votes. dominately white. Housing issues The ease with which the resolugroups meet monthly for nurture are of primary concern to the conand fellowship. tion was approved (it was approved gregation as its neighborhood has by consensus with no real dissent in become involved in a tremendous The congregation is engaged in several ministries in its community. real estate upheaval with soaring (continued on next page) MOllllo for the JOlll1/ey / J the body of annual conference delegates) was a result of several years of hard work by the conference's Homophobia Task Force and other advocates for gay men and lesbians in the UMC. For eight years, those persons have worked with all levels of the church-from local church to annual conference-to be more inclusive of gay men and lesbians. We celebrate the labor and love of these two conferences and their ministries to and with lesbians and gay men. Upcoming Special Events -"AIDS and the Ministry of the Church, " a conference/seminar to be held Saturday, March 22, at the New York Annual Conference Center in ' White Plains, NY. It is sponsored by the conference Board ofChurch and Society and is being planned primarily by folks from Washington Square UMC and consultants. -"Spirituality and Homosexual Persons: A Dialogue Conference, " being held February 28-March 1 in Lincoln, NE. It is sponsored by several groups, including the Nebraska Conference Board of Church and Society. One of the workshops will be on the Reconciling Congregation Program. Manna for the Journey Notes We again express our appreciation to all ofyou who have supported our efforts with this journal by writing, subscribing, and sharing Manna for the Journey with friends and family members. After our first two issues we are about halfway to our target of 1,000 subscriptions at the end of our first year. We invite your continued support. Particularly we welcome letters with comments on the issues produced to date so that we can share your comments with other readers. Themes for upcoming issues of the journal have been planned. They are: SPRING 1986-Family-related Concerns SUMMER 1986-Denominational Policies and Ordination FALL 1986-"Healing" Ministries WINTER 1987-Homophobia/ Heterosexism SPRING 1988-Spirituality and Sexuality We welcome your suggestions for articles and writers for these issues and suggestions for themes for other issues. Ifyou would be interested in writing for one of these issues, please let us know. Affirmation Celebrates 10th Anniversary Sixty folks gathered in Evanston, IL on September 20-22 for the biannual meeting ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbia~ and Gay Concerns. The gathering was held at Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. Persons were also present from other Reconciling Congregations: Bethany (San Francisco), Edgehill (Nashville), St. Paul's (Denver), University (Madison), Wallingford (Seattle), and Christ (Washington). This meeting was significant because the first gathering of Affirmation took place 10 years prior in the same local church. Sharing the oral history of the events of the past ten years in the life of Affirmation was an important part of the weekend. Affirmation folks in Chicago prepared a gala dinner dance on Saturday evening to cap the festivities. The weekend closed with a shared Sunday morning worship with members ofWheadon and Affirmation. A dialogue sermon was preached by Ginny Hilton, a United Methodist pastor from Albany, CA, and a parent of a gay man, and Paul Abels, former pastor of Washington Square UMC. Special music was presented by a choir of Affirmation members. With the sanctuary overflowing with people, the community celebrated in song and prayer, and shared hopes and dreams for the coming fullness of the reign of God's justice. Those were two hours of inspiring and energizing worship! The next national meeting of Affirmation will be held April 4-6, 1986, in Seattle, WA Reconciling Congregations Bethany UMC Sl Paul's UMC c/o Christine E. Shiber c/o George Christie 1268 Sanchez Street 1615 Ogden Street San Francisco. CA 94114 Denver. CO 80218 Calvary UMC Sunnyhills UMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o Martha Chow 815 S. 48th Street 335 Dixon Road Philadelphia. PA 19143 Milpitas. CA 95035 Capitol Hill UMC University UMC c/o Pat Dougherty c/o Steven Webster 128 Sixteenth Street East 1127 University Avenue Seattle. WA 981 12 Madison. WI 5371 5 Central UMC Wallingford UMC c/o Howard Abts c/o Chuck Richards 701 West Central at 2115 N. 42nd Street Scottwood Seattle. WA 98103 Toledo. OH 4361 0 Washington Square UMC Christ UMC c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Bea Judge Ed Weaver 4th and Eye Streets. S.W. 135 W. 4th Street Washington. D.C. 20024 New York. NY 10012 Edgehill UMC Wesley UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Warren Russell 1502 Edgehill Avenue 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Nashville. TN 37212 Fresno. CA 93710 Park Slope UMC Wheadon U.M.C. c/o A. Finley Schaef c/o Carol Larson 6th Avenue & 8th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue Brooklyn. NY 11215 Evanston. IL 60201 Sl John's UMC c/o Howard Nash 2705 St. Paul Street Baltimore. MD 21218 4/ Malllla for {III! JOlll71ey Linking§i;laci)m, ~C!xi)m, and-liOmophobia The writer ofthis article is a gay black man who is also a United Methodist pastor. His anonymity is needed to protect his employment. There are those who contend that to speak of the rights of lesbians and gay men as one speaks of the ~ivilrights ofethnic minorities and women is a false comparison. Race and sex, they maintain, are "Godgiven," "natural" states of being, conditions over which one has no choice. Ethnic minorities and women, therefore, should enjoy equal access to all that society has to offer. Such is not the case, so the argument goes, with same-sex orientation, since in the "natural" order ofcreation, it is a given that males and females were made to be attracted only to each other and that to defy that basic order is a matter of choice. The truth, however, is that no one really knows how or why people are homosexual or heterosexual. It is reasonably clear, however, that homosexual orientation cannot be reduced to any specific combination of social factors. It appears across the species in the created order and reappears in all human societies, conditions, and socioeconomic and racial groupings. Homosexuality has existed at least for as long as any anthropological record has been kept, and the orientation, contrary to popular belief, is virtually unchangeable. This being the case, it is necessary to talk about how lesbians and gay men share oppression with blacks and other persons ofcolor and with women. Lesbians and gay men, like ethnic minorities and women, frequently have their existences denied or devalued because of their difference from the societal norm. They, too, are a specific "kind" of people who share certain things among themselves distinguished from others in society. In the case of lesbians and gay men, it is their sexuality. Dr. James Tinney, a noted theologian and journalist at Howard University, maintains that this distinction is related to the physical being (i.e., their bodies) of lesbians and gay men-thus, the commonality with persons of color and with women. (Of course, some homosexual persons are persons of color and women, also.) Society then discriminates against lesbians and gay men because of a difference that is as biophysical as being female or part of an ethnic minority. Whatever it is that leads to same-sex orientation, it is almost certainly is as intrinsic to the being of gay men and lesbians as heterosexuality is to so-called straight people, gender is to women, and color is to ethnic minorities. Lesbians and gay men, like persons of color in the United States, are discriminated against partly because they are fewer in number. Because they do not represent the societal "norm," they are excluded from the mainstream ofthe receiving and delivery ofsocietal goods. But the discrimination against lesbians and gay men-and persons of color-is not due simply to their minority status. They, along with women (who are not a numerical minority), are disproportionately excluded from institutional politics, responsibility, and power. One result is a lack ofprotection from harassment. In San Francisco, former city Supervisor Dan White after killing gay Supervisor Harvey Milk, as well as Mayor George Moscone, was convicted only of a relatively minor charge and received a light sentence, in part because trial jurors accepted the defense's argument that junk food had made White unresponsible for his actions. Members of the Klan suffer relatively small punitive action for their atrocities against blacks, Jews, and Catholics. Women still feel forced to band together in "Take Back the Night" actions merely to maintain their right to walk down the streets after dark without fear of being accosted. A systematic denial of the history and culture of all three groups has left the debilitating, psychological scar of invisibility both in the minds of society and within the groups themselves. This is part ofthe reason gay men and lesbians, ethnic minorities, and women traditionally have not exploited their potential. They have often absorbed the negativity projected on them by the dominant culture-amounting to a great extent to the ultimate oppression, self-deval uation. Some things could be said about the way in which these groups differ from each other. For some, the differences could be explained simply in terms of what it means to be male or female, gay or straight, white or ethnic minority-if there is anything simple about any of those forms of existence. But the differences do not outweigh the similarities, and the need is great for these groups to be constantly aware of the things they do share in common. Lesbians and gay men, ethnic minorities, and women must form alliances so that they are not constantly pitted against one another in the race to get the meager slice of goods so often reluctantly dished out to them. The message is clear: sexism, racism, and homophobia derive from the same imperialistic chauvinism. If one scratches a sexist deep enough, racism appears, and vice-versa. The solutions to these groups' problems cannot be worked out separately, one at a time. The problems associated with each are so inextricably linked to the other that most have to be worked on simultaneously. Otherwise, one bigotry will merely be exchanged for another, and none ofus will be able to enjoy the Kingdom that Jesus promises is right in our midst. After all, no one is God's stepchild; no one is a pauper groveling at the feet of a dispassionate royalty begging leftovers. One friend often reminded me, "Honey, God's storehouse is full." We are all children of the one Creator. In the grand economy of things divine, we are all necessary to the survival not only of society but of the species itself. Malllw./or the Joumey / 5 In 1954, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously found in Brown v. Board ofEducation that segregated schools are "inherently unequal." Such a segregated system denies some children and young people equal access to their community's educational resources and, thereby, the opportunity to achieve their highest possibilities. Since Brown, some strong civil rights law have been enacted. In addition, the Supreme Court and the lower federal courts have enforced these laws through their decisions. The question that has confronted our nation is this: Do we have the commitment and capability to implement these laws and court decisions in a manner that opens up opportunities for those who have been and still are the victims of discrimination? On this question, the jury is still out. The jury's eventual verdict will depend on the willingness of our people to implement the commandment that lies at the center of our JudeoChristian teachings-"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Those who turn aside from opportunities to further human and civil rights violate this commandment. Forty years ago, I read a sermon preached by Leslie Weatherhead, then the pastor of City Temple, in London, England, that was based on this commandment. In that sermon, which has been of tremendous help to me as I have confronted issues in the area of social justice, Dr. Weatherhead pointed out that this commandment does not place upon us an obligation to "like" our neighbor. "Liking" is something that cannot be compelled. It must come from within. He also pointed out that the commandment does not require us to approve of everything that our neighbor says or does. The commandment does, however, according to Dr. Weatherhead, place upon us a common responsibility "to adopt a sustained determination to show unbreakable good will in order that the best qualities in our neighbor may be called forth." Personally, I have found it helpful to summarize our common responsibility in this manner: to never pass up an opportunity to help our neighbor achieve her or his highest possibilities. And who is our neighbor? Jesus answered the question by telling how a Samaritan responded to the needs of a traditional enemy. It is clear that our neighbor is anyone whom circumstance makes it possible for us to befriend. Sometimes we have an opportunity to help someone with whom we come into contact to realize her or his highest possibilities. At other times, we have as citizens the opportunity to support public policies-such as those in the area of civil rights-that open up such opportunities for our neighbors. If we tum aside from either type of opportunity, we violate the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves, and our violation means that one person or many persons will continue to stand on the outside of the doors of opportunity. We have learned that, once a nation such as ours begins to implement civil rights laws and court decisions, the status quo is disturbed. This, of course, is what we wanted when the civil rights movement began. We were dissatisfied with the discriminatory practices that characterized our nation. That is why we asked Congress to pass civil rights laws. That is why we turned to the courts for relief. But some persons have a stake in the status quo. Sometimes the stake is economic; sometimes, emotional. Whatever the reason, however, they want to maintain things the way they are. They want to do everything they can to slow or prevent implementation of civil rights laws and court decisions. Out of this desire has emerged the regressive movement in the field of civil rights. This movement has a well-defined strategy: to do everything possible to weaken or eliminate the methods that must be employed to implement civil rights laws and court decisions. This strategy has had the support of the executive branch of the federal government for the past five years. For example, concerted efforts have been made to undermine the implementation of federal court plans to desegregate public schools by reassigning students and providing transportation where necessary. In spite of these efforts, however, the nation has continued to move forward in implementing Brown v. Board ofEducation. The rate of progress has been slowed, but in hundreds of communities children and young persons have been provided with educational opportunities that otherwise would have been denied them. In addition, desegregation has set forces in motion that have reduced tensions and healed 6 / Manna for the Journey wounds throughout communities. Of course, some desegregation plans have worked better than others. Some have made greater strides than others in the directions of meaningful integration and the improvement of the quality of education. On balance, however, desegregation has served the nation very well, opening doors of opportunity. To take another example, concerted efforts have been made to prevent the implementation of affirmative action plans calling for inclusion of goals and timetables in the area of equal employment. Such plans simply represent a decision on the part of both public and private administrators to include equal employment opportunities as one of their management objectives and then to use the tools of administration to make sure that employment opportunities are opened for the victims of discrimination. An essential tool in reaching any management objective is establishing goals and timetables for reaching those goals. Then, agreement must be reached on the component parts of an action program designed to reach the goal. Assignments must be made of duties and responsibilities to implement the action program. At the same time, it must be clear that those who carry out their assignments will be rewarded and those who do not will be penalized. Public and private employers have successfully used these tools in developing their affirmative action plans in the area of employment. They have opened up opportunities for the victims of discrimination. It is clear that those who have opened the doors of opportunity have been responding affirmatively to the commandment to love one's neighbor as oneself. Nevertheless, affirmative action plans in the area of employment are under attack by the same regressive forces that attempt to undermine school desegregation. Usually these attacks are based on an expressed concern for the welfare of one segment of society-the white male. Such attacks ignore the fact that other persons, because they belong to different groups, collectively suffer discrimination, wrongs that pervade our nation's social, political, economic, and ideological landscape. The only way in which these "group wrongs" can be dealt with effectively is by developing and implementing affirmative action plans. It is true that affirmative action plans can be developed in ways that discriminate against those who do not belong to a traditionally wronged group, This happens very rarely, however, and when it has happened, the courts have recognized it and protected those persons' rights-including the white male's. The fact remains that affirmative action plans in the field of employment provide employers, both public and private, with a means to open the doors of opportunity to members of groups that have been and still are the victims of discrimination solely because they are members of these groups. Many public and private employers have responded to this moral imperative. They have testified to the genuine satisfaction that comes from opening these doors and to the contributions that the implementation of these programs have made to the strengthening of their own programs. In the areas of both education and employment, a great deal remains to be done. The number of persons suffering from discrimination still runs into the millions. We have demonstrated, however, that something can be done about it. People out at the grassroots will continue to insist that we move forward. Similar progress has been made in the area of voting rights. Here again, a great deal remains to be done. In the field of housing, the progress has not been as marked as in the other areas. We have a great deal of unfinished business to handle before the goal of "fair housing" becomes more than a distant goal. And, despite the progress that has been made in the past 32 years, work remains to be done to enact needed civil rights laws. We need the Civil Rights Restoration Act, an act designed to make clear that when any part of an educational ins ti tution, for example, receives federal funds, the entire institution-not just the unit receiving the funds-must conform to civil rights laws. We also need to have the Fair Housing Amendment introduced in 1985 enacted into law. That legislation would, among other improvements, provide an effective administrative remedy for individual victims of discrimination. We likewise need legislation that spells out at the federal leve1 the civil rights of lesbians and gay men. The civil rights movement must not only concentrate on the "right of access" to education, employment, voting and housing. It must also focus on "opportunities for access." It must be concerned about the federal government accepting its responsibilities and obligations as a partner with state and local governments and the private sector in opening up opportunities in education, employment, and housing. Any citizen who fails to focus on this issue refuses to accept our common responsibility never to turn our backs on opportunities to help our neighbors achieve their highest possibilities. Ibelieve that out at the grass roots, millions of persons are trying to make the commandment "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself' a part of their personal lives. They recognize a moral imperative never to pass up opportunities to help their neighbors realize their highest possibilities. They support the basic values underlying the civil rights movement. In fact, because many of them have responded to the challenges that are a part of the movement-and because, on the basis of their own observations, they know that desegregation, equal employment, and fair housing policies can be made to work-I believe there is more support for the values underlying the civil rights movement today than there was at any time in the 1960s or 1970s. Our job is to do a better job of focusing that support on the specific issues as they arise. We can and shall overcome! Manna/i),. The }OLll7lCY / 7 s It I ~I N '1' I C) N harassment, and transfer of gay Most Americans take for Tim Tyner is a graduate ofthe law school at the University ofKansas who has practiced with men and lesbians remains comgranted equal rights to a criminal defense firm and as police liaison mon practice in many cities. housing and employ- with the Dallas City Attorney's Office. Robert In California, lesbian and gay ment. It is generally assumed that Holt received his law degree from Temple employees of state-protected quasiemployees who perform their resUniversity and has served as a criminal law governmental monopolies are enponsibilities satisfactorily will have advisor to the Texas Court ofCriminal Appeals and the Dallas Court ofAppeals. They formed titled to the same protections as their continued employment asthe law partnership of Tyner and Holt in 1985. sured. Fulfilling the obligations of lesbians and gay men who work for Both are members of Oak Lawn United the state government. The Califora tenant in a lease situation such as Methodist Church in Dallas and the Dallas-Fort paying rent or the making of paynia Supreme Court in Gay Law Worth Affirmation group. Students Association v. Pacific Telements under a mortgage secures the phone has held that the telephone tenant or mortgagor continued ed prohibitions on discrimination company's activities are so closely possession of a home. on the basis of sexual orientation connected with the state governHistorically, discrimination has within its jurisdiction. In most ment and so greatly affect public been directed toward certain localities, employers may lawfully groups in our society. In the notwelfare that they are quasi-governdiscriminate against employees on too-distant past, women, blacks, mental in character and thus the the basis of sexual orientation. equal protection guarantee of the and other minorities were frequenstate constitution and other state tly denied the right to employment and housing. In recent decades, statutes prohibits the company Employment federal laws such as the Civil from arbitrarily excluding qualified lesbians or gay men from job Rights Act of 1964, as well as Wisconsin has led the nation by opportunities. This legal theory various state and municipal orenacting a statute banning discrimdinances, -have, for the most part, does not exist in most states, ination in the public and private however. prohibited discrimination based sectors based on sexual orientation With regard to federal employon race, sex, age, religion, or na( see article, p. 20). Governors of ment of civilians, Section 3301 of tional origin, although remnants of other states (for example, Calisuch discrimination still persist in Title 5 of the United States Code fornia, New Mexico, New York, the United States today. provides that the president may and Rhode Island) have issued exOne major area in which disecutive orders prohibiting such disprescribe regulations for admission crimination remains legal in many crimination in state employment. into Civil Service that will "best places is discrimination against lespromote the efficiency of that serMany cities such as Austin, Los bians and gay men. Few judges or vice." Regulations issued in DeAngeles, Minneapolis, and Washlegislators have seen fit to protect cember 1973 prohibit finding a ington, D.C., have similar muniindividuals from discrimination person unsuitable for federal emcipal ordinances. In such cities, based on sexual orientation. As a ployment merely because he is gay lesbians and gay men are, in result, many lesbians and gay men or she is lesbian. The regulations go theory, able to be open about their who work as other persons' emon to say that dismissal or the findsexual orientation. Some local ployees or who rent their homes ing of unsuitability is permissible if ordinances pertain only to employlive in fear of their sexual orientaevidence establishes that a person's ment by the municipal governtion being discovered. Often, the homosexual conduct affects job fitment; others forbid employment revelation of a gay or lesbian idenness. Also, security clearances often within the private sector as well. tity results in being fired from a job are denied to persons who are susHowever, similar ordinances have or in having a landlord refuse to pected of being lesbian or gay. No been repealed In places such as renew a lease or, worse, undertake laws prohibit discrimination Miami, St. Paul, and Houston, and eviction proceedings. against lesbians and gay men by most cities in the United States Legal protection for lesbians the U.S. Armed Forces, and the have no employment protection and gay men is offered only where whatsoever for gay men and lesrevelation of a gay or lesbian identhe municipality or state has enactbians. As a result, discrimination, tity remains cause for dismissal 8/Malllla for [he Jowlley ~ I) I s from military service. One particularly sensitive subject for the courts and our society has long been the employment of gay men and lesbians as teachers. Most courts, upon any evidence that students may be influenced by a teacher's sexual orientation, will uphold a dismissal. This is perhaps due to the common mythologies that gay men molest children and are seeking to make recruits. Despite debunking ofthese myths and the outstanding examples provided by many gay and lesbian teachers, widespread discrimination exists. Fortunately, a few recent judicial decisions may provide hope that this situation is improving. The U.S. Supreme Court recently overturned an Oklahoma law that sought to deny employment to any teacher who spoke supportively of gay men and lesbians outside ofthe classroom. And, in Morrison v. State Board of Education, the California Supreme Court overturned the dismissal of a teacher for homosexual conduct, holding that "immoral conduct permits the dismissal of a teacher only when the state, when It I I N taking into account the totality of the circumstances, can prove unfitness to teach." Housing Gay men and lesbians are protected from discrimination in housing in only two states-Wisconsin (by virtue of a statute that includes sexual orientation on its list of prohibited categories of discrimination) and California (under the Unruh Civil Rights Act, which the state Supreme Court in 1982 held to prohibit discrimination against gay and lesbian people.) The District of Columbia and various other progressive municipalities also have enacted city ordinances banning discrimination against gay men and lesbians in the area of housing (see chart on p.18). Outside of these cities and states, landlords have wide discretion in determining to whom to rent. Gay men and lesbians sometimes must be creative to protect themselves from discrimination in housing. For example, if a state or locality prohibits discrimination it I C) N on the basis of marital status, a gay man or lesbian might successfully proceed against a landlord on that basis, as did two men in Washington state in 1978. Sometimes, but certainly not always, gay and lesbian tenants are protected by virtue of having a written lease. In such circumstances, unless the tenant breaches some specific clause of the lease, eviction on the sole basis ofthe tenant being gay or lesbian is not possible. Nevertheless, a landlord may still be able to refuse to renew a gay or lesbian tenant's lease when it expires. U ntiI municipal ordinances or state or federal laws are enacted prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, there is little to protect gay men and lesbians from discrimination in housing and employment in many parts ofthe United States. Every gay man and lesbian working together to promote such legislative enactment would hasten an enlightened change in our legal system today. Married in the 1950s, I was young and naive both about my sexuality and about my role as a woman in society. Fourteen years and two children la ter, I discovered both my lesbianism and feminism. For several years, I shared an ad hoc joint custody arrangement with my former husband until he remarried and moved to Canada. Thereafter, a bitter custody battle ensued in Rosalie Davies is a feminist attorney and a founder and coordinator of Custody Action for Lesbian Mothers, Inc., a free litigation support service for the Delaware River Valley and a national consulting service. which I not only lost custody of my children, a boy and a girl then aged 15 and 12, but became alienated from my children in the process. My court-ordered visitation award was so punitive that I could only see my son and daughter in the home of my parents for two weeks a year and could only call my children once a week. Separated from my children by over 1,000 miles and with little or no rapport remaining, the future looked grim. Every week I called. Often they were "unavailable," but I just kept calling. Every visitation I flew them to my parents' home, and I flew to (continued on next page) Malllla/or the JOlll1ler / 9 10 / Mallllajor the Joumey I s It I I N 11 I () N a gay father must show that the meet them. Loss of Parenting Rights (continued) immorality of a lesbian lifestyle in mother is unfit to parent in some Within one year, the new stepand of itself is sufficient to deny a way, such as abuse, neglect, or drug mother had lost her glamor. My mother custody. Thus, the work of addiction. To become natural fason left his father's home, and my CALM is even more critical today thers, gay men must look to surdaughter was also expressing unthan in the past. rogate mothers, a quasi-legal alhappiness in our weekly calls. Over However, in the past few years a ternative at best. Rare programs the next few months, a plan was whole generation of women who exist to place gay teens into gay hatched. On the next visitation, came out of the closet in the 1960s homes, but adoption is virtually they would not return to their as lesbians and feminists, without impossible. A few gay men have father but instead would travel guilt or prior heterosexual marriages, sought out lesbian women for back to Pennsylvania with me. decided they would exercise their shared-custody arrangements, but During this period of separaright to choose motherhood. In the such child-rearing commitments tion and grieving for my children, I 1970s and early 1980s, lesbians are fraught with many pitfalls. had founded an organization in turning 30, like many economically These include, for example, the Philadelphia called Custody Acself- sufficient single women, heedforced mobility of a high unemtion for Lesbian Mothers (CALM), ed their biological time clocks and ployment economy and the difthe mission of which was to ensure decided to embark upon motherficulty of two people united only by that lesbians would no longer be hood via artificial insemination or the desire to raise a child to agree stereotyped and prejudged in the self-insemination. Some employed on the multitude of decisions recourtroom as I had been. Within the service of sperm banks with the garding health, education, and one year, my lover and I had raised assistance of liberal physicians welfare of that young person over a some money from private founsympathetic to their needs. Before 20-year period. dations, and our litigation support the AIDS scare, others went to the gay male community and requestservice had begun. To strengthen It is ironic that in our society, in ed sperm donors and then insemour skills, I entered law school as which there is so much need for inated themselves with turkey bastan open lesbian. With the aid of loving and caring parenting, cerers. Some raised their children other lesbian and gay lawyers, we tain persons with the desire and communally with other lesbians developed courtroom strategies and skill for parenting are restricted in also experiencing motherhood; collected psychosocial data to suptheir capability to carry that out. some lived as couples and had to port our cause. And, of course, it is children who decide who would bear the child. Over the next decade, the posisuffer most because of this. For lesOthers took the plunge alone. tion oflesbian mothers vis-a-vis the bians and gay men alike, our best Thus far, few of these arrangeappeals courts improved dramatihope for controlling discrimination ments have come to the attention of cally. However, horror stories in the lies in the passage of the Uniform the courts. Suffice it to say that lower courts continued to abound. Child Custody Act. * This act has anonymity is the key. Two courts One judge, upon awarding visitaalready passed in several states. Its have decided that a sperm donor tion, warned the mother not to kiss language limits judicial discretion once known has all the rights of an her children because "everyone by requiring that, before parental unwed father. As to lesbian "marknows that venereal disease is rambehavior can be used as a factor to riages," such custody cases that pant in the homosexual comdetermine custody, a connection have ensued from the breakup of munity." Another mother was demust first be shown between the these unions have entitled the nied custody in part because she specific behavior and a negative natural mother to custody and the had assisted her lover in delivering emotional or psychological impact nonbiological or psychological parkids- baby goats-apparently a on the child. Such legislation can ent has been awarded a measure of wholly unnatural act when perhelp move our society toward more visitation. Still, with more and formed by a lesbian. One case cited emphasis on the well-being of more legislation going on the books the presence of Ms. magazine on children and less concern with actto regulate artificial insemination, the coffee table as symptomatic of ing out social prejudices on parents. the influence of the New Right has moral decline, and another mencreated sanctions both on physitioned a parent's lover's rocking in cians who inseminate lesbians and *More infonnation on the Uniform Child on women who inseminate themthe household rocking chair as Custody Act can be obtained from the evidence of perversion. American Bar Association. One publication available is: Interstate and Interselves. When we look to gay men who national Child Custody Disputes: A CollecUnfortunately, the Reagan era either sired children in heterosextion of Materials. (March 1984. 239 pages.) has caused a right-wing backual marriages or who wish to The cost of this is $15.00 from: American lash even in the higher courts. Bar Association, Order Fulfillment, 750 N. Pennsylvania has led the way with become parents, the situation is Lakeshore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611. 312/ even less optimistic than it is for 988-5555. a decision squarely stating that the lesbians. To win custody even today, I I s II I )1 I N '1' I C) Since July 1984, several incidents of violence against gay men and lesbians have made their way into the nation's newspapers. In Bangor, Maine, a young gay man was assaulted by three teenagers and thrown over a bridge to his death. A San Francisco man was set upon by a gang of youths who, amid cries of "faggot" and "queer," beat him to death. In Miami, two men were beaten so savagely by a gang that they can no longer speak or write. In Jacksonville, Florida, the local Metropolitan Community Church was set on fire for the second time in a year. These incidents may seem distant and out of the ordinary. Evidence shows, however, that violence and the threat of violence is a real danger that most gay men and lesbians live with daily. An eight-city study of anti-gay/ lesbian violence published by the National Gay Task Force (NGTF) in 1984 revealed that more than one in five gay men and one in ten lesbians had been physically assaulted because of their sexual orientation. More than 40 percent had been threatened with violence. Thirtyfour percent were verbally abused by members of their family, and 7 percent had been physically abused as well. Nearly two-thirds said that anti-gay/lesbian violence was so pervasive that they feared for their safety.* In addition to crimes motivated by fear and hatred, gay men and lesbians are victimized because they frequently are perceived to be "easy targets," unable to fight back or unwilling to risk exposure by reporting crimes against them. Like some heterosexual persons, some lesbians and gay men are vic- Paul Vandenberg is a former United Methodist representative to the Governing Board of the National Council ofChurches and past cochair of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Kevin Bemll is Director of the Violence Project of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. timized by partners or lovers; others are victims ofcrime that are simply random in nature. Many victims are afraid that they will be victimized a second time if they step forward. They cite hostility and discrimination as reasons for neither reporting incidents nor seeking services available to them. Some of those reporting who do seek help find that the very people responsible for protecting and assisting them are unresponsive to their needs or even overtly hostile. Because gay men and lesbians often fear exposure, stigmatization, and discrimination, they suffer alone. Those who are not "out" about their sexual orientation find they must lie about the circumstances of the incident to their family, employer, and even friends. Their inability to share what really happened can provoke intense feelings of isolation. Like victims of rape, victims of anti-gay/lesbian violence are sometimes blamed for their victimization. They are told that the incident might never have happened if they had been more "discreet" or less visible.,These attitudes can trigger guilt and self-blame in victims, who often wonder whether a homophobic attack was a punishment for their "unacceptable" lifestyle. Such doubts can begin to unravel a lifetime of struggle to accept and affirm who they are and N how they love. Those who are singled out for anti-gay/lesbian attacks often feel "exposed," with their sexual identity particularly noticeable. They may begin to believe that future attacks are imminent and respond to this fear by limiting their contact with the rest of the world. They may also take steps to conceal their sexual orientation, further increasing their feelings of isolation and alienation. Gay men and lesbians are stereotyped as powerless ("sissies" or "pansies") or as inappropriately powerful ("diesel or bull dykes"). Even those who have overcome notions that they are weak or have no right to be strong may reexperience these feelings following an attack. These feelings can negatively affect their ability to cope with the aftermath of violence. Another problem is that secondary victims are frequently overlooked, especially when they are the partners or lovers of gay or lesb,ian victims. Because gay and lesbian relationships are not legally sanctioned, the needs of lovers are seldom acknowledged or met. The police often fail to deal sensitively with friends and lovers of gay or lesbian victims, and many hos( continued on next page) *Since this study's release in the summer of 1984, it has been praised by researchers, including Dr. Marvin Wolfgang, director of the University of Pennsylvania Center for Studies in Criminology and Criminal Law. Violence surveys conducted by the Wisconsin Governor's Council on Lesbian and Gay Issues and the Philadelphia Lesbian and Gay Task Force have shown rates of victimization similar or identical to those documented in the NGTF study. For a copy of the NGTF Violence Study and sample survey, send $10.00 to National Gay Task Force, 80 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10011. 212/741-5800. Manna/or the Jowlley / 11 I S (~ It I ~I Abuse and Violence (continued) pitals still deny them visiting privileges. Failure to respect these relationships compounds and prolongs the suffering of both the primary and secondary victims. What can be done to address the needs of lesbian and gay victims and to ensure that they receive the compassion and consideration that all victims deserve? 1. Improved services for lesbian and gay victims. Police, criminal justice personnel, victim services agencies, rape crisis centers, youth agencies, domestic violence programs, and mental health facilities need to improve their services and outreach to the gay/lesbian community. Within the United Methodist Church, congregations, districts, and annual conferences should initiate comprehensive training programs to help their clergy members understand and respond more effectively to the needs oflesbian and gay crime victims; publicize their programs to the lesbian/gay community; work cooperatively with lesbian and gay organizations and support services; and create a supportive environment for their lesbian and gay employees-beginning with the establishment of an official policy prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. 2. Increased research into lesbian and gay victimization. While the prevalence of anti-gay/lesbian violence has been demonstrated, more research is needed to understand the full dimensions of the problem and the particular issues facing lesbian and gay victims. Congregations can easily replicate the NGTF study in their communities to publicize the problem of anti-gay/lesbian violence. 3. Guaranteed civil rights for lesbians and gay men. The absence of legal protections for gay and lesbian citizens has a critical effect on their ability to deal with the aftermath of crime. As long as they risk losing jobs, housing, child custody, and other basic rights by "coming out," large numbers will choose not to report crimes against them and I seek services available to victims. In failing to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, our government permits-indeed facilitiates-violence and crime against gay men and lesbians by inhibiting them from seeking redress through the criminal justice system. The church bears much responsibility for the prevalence of anti-gay/lesbian violence and for the lack of official response to the problem. For centuries, it actively persecuted homosexuals and committed unspeakable acts of physical and psychic violence against them. Today, right-wing religious leaders and organizations help foster an atmosphere of fear and intolerance that leads to violence. While some may profess to "hate the sin, but love the sinner," they send out direct mail pledging to "stop the homosexuals dead in their tracks." They issue "battle plans" and "declarations of war" against homosexuality. They declare that AIDS is God's "punishment" against homosexuals, and some even call for the quarantine of all gay men. The same church that has ignored, justified, and even perpetrated violence against lesbians and gay men must now lead the way to ending such violence. While most mainline Christian denominations have passed resolutions supporting lesbian and gay civil rights, they are still so concerned with the alleged sin of homosexuality that they fail to confront the sin of homophobia. The church can begin by vigorously speaking out against anti-gay/lesbian violence and by encouraging official measures to study and remedy these problems. Clergy and laity must together reexamine their personal and theological attitudes toward homosexuality and work to eradicate the homophobia that leads to violence. Furthermore, they should affirm and support lesbians and gay men who choose to participate in the church and extend church outreach to the lesbian and gay community. N 11 '1' I C) N Mom:" Floyd is a member of the CaliforniaPacific annual conference ofthe United Methodist Church and is one ofthe official spokespersons for Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concems. A major Texas corporation requires some employees to be tested for antibodies to the AIDS virus. Minneapolis, Minnesota, landlords refuse to rent apartments to an AIDS service organization to provide temporary housing for its clients. The Pentagon announces that all service members will be tested for exposure to the AIDS virus. Parents of 100 Washington Borough, New Jersey, elementary students keep their children at home to protest attendance by a boy whose sister has an AIDS-related condition. In Houston, Texas, mayoral candidate Louie Welch offhandedly suggests a solution to the AIDS epidemic: "Shoot the queers." Though all available evidence is that AIDS cannot be transmitted through the air or through casual contact, fear of the disease is causing many actions and proposed policies to restrict persons with AIDS (PWAs) and those infected with HTLV-III, the virus believed to cause it. As a result, the epidemic threatens to reverse progress toward the assurance of civil rights for gay men and lesbians. 12/MallJla/ or the '/OWlIey Floyd The saddest experiences are those of PWAs who find themselves suddenly with nowhere to live, as fearful roommates, lovers, or family members ask them to move out. Many of these PWAs lack the money and energy required to locate another place to live. But, even without these problems, they may be unable to do so. Potential tenants frequently are asked why they are leaving their present situation, and, if the PWA answers truthfully, the door may close on the new possibility as well. The housing problem is complicated for many persons with an AIDS-related diagnosis by loss of their jobs. Fearing that customers will stay away if they know that an AIDS patient works in a store, restaurant, or office, employers are firing those diagnosed with AIDS. Others tind it difficult to resist the threats of a walkout by co-work rs who fear that they could becom infected by working in proximity to a PWA. In still other situations, an IDS diagnosis provides a convenient excuse to get rid of a gay employee. These actions are forbidden in some jurisdictions by state or local tatutes that prohi it discrimination on the basis of a disability. Enforcement of these laws, however, is often complicated, time consuming, and costly. A PWA may well decide not to spend valuable emotional and physical energy in a fight that may be won only posthumously. The availability of a test for antibodies to HTLV-III has created a much larger group vulnerable to similar forms of discrimination. The test was licensed for use by blood collection centers so that they could avoid the use of blood contaminated by the virus. It is not a test for AIDS and has little practical value when used outside a population at substantial risk for AIDS, other than for blood screening. Current evidence is that few of those infected by the AIDS virus will in fact develop the disease. Because such a large proportion ofthose with AIDS are gay, men who test positive for antibodies to HTLVHI are frequently assumed to be gay or bisexual and may face discrimination on that basis. Furthermore, the rate of positivity is so high among gay and bisexual men (50 percent or more in some urban centers) that actions taken against sero. positive individuals will particularly affect that group. In some places, restrictions may even be extended to all those at high risk for AIDS, "just to be on the saf side." The planned screening of all members of the military is an example of how misuse of the HTLV-III antibody test could have far-reaching civil liberties consequences. Pentagon officials first said that the test results would be used only to identify those whose health should be monitored. They later admitted that they would discharge anyone whose test result indicated homosexual activity or intravenous drug use. Lesbian/ gay rights leaders fear the military's use of the test will legitimate its use elsewhere as a means of identifying and excluding gay men. A powerful economic incentive exists for the exclusion of those at risk for AIDS from situations where an institution or employer becomes directly or indirectly responsible for health-care expenses. The average PWA lives 18 to 24 months after diagnosis and incurs up to $150,000 in medical expenses. HTLV-IlI testing provides employers, insurance companies, and others a convenient means to identify and exclude those they feel are most likely to fall into a high-risk group. Interestingly, however, employers have not shown a similar interest in excluding smokers, even though those persons are also at high risk for a number of expensive-to-treat health conditions. Perhaps the greatest force for discrimination against gay men in this generation is the public perception that they are to blame for AIDS. Fueled by the demagoguery of persons like the Rev. Jerry Falwell, this attitude has already had a noticeable impact on public policy debates around the country. AID has been cited as a reason for not passing lesbian/gay civil right legislation, and an official ofthe Centers for Disease Control has suggested an end to all gay sexual activity as the best means to end the epidemic. The Wash ington (D.C.) Times, a conservative daily newspaper, editorialized, "Those who suffer from AIDS ..., in a sense, went looking for their affliction ....We are all responsible for our actions, and AIDS isn't a no-fault disease." It is difficult to escape the conclusion that the AIDS epidemic is one more occasion for blaming the victim. Unfortunately public policy is not always determined by logic. Irrational and hysterical reactions to a dreaded ailment can create demands that public officials find hard to resist. A closer study of statements favoring large-scale governmental action to revoke individual freedoms in the name of disease control will usually uncover motivations of homophobia and other such fears of persons who are different. AIDS is a real health concern. Each of us needs to be wellinformed about the disease, and those persons who are in high-risk groups should take the precautions deemed necessary to prevent infection. Yet AIDS is not a license to unleash the floodwaters of homophobia that have been building up due to their increasing social unacceptability. Churche have an important advocacy role to play, both in the educational efforts about AIDS and in ensuring the civil rights of individuals who may be trampled by irrational fears and desperate actions of self-protection and repression. Mal/l/aJor {he .Ioumey / 13 by Fronda Woods Fronda Woods is an attorney in Washington, D.C. Recent congressional action on issues affecting lesbians and gay men has been a mixture of good _news, bad news, and political caution. The good news is that Congress has acted quickly to beef up AIDS research funding, in response to the concerns of many persons. The bad news is that proposed civil rights legislation affecting gay men and lesbians is receiving only lukewarm support in Congress, reflecting the current administration's general lack of enthusiasm for civil rights. In between is proposed immigrationreform legislation, which currently can be found in the status of much legislation-it is stalled in committee. AIDS Funding Hardly a day goes by without some mention of AIDS in the news, and funding for AIDS research and treatment has likewise received a good deal of recent congressional attention. T E NIIONAL AGENDA FOR ESBAN I GAY CIVIL RIGHTS In September 1985, the House of Representatives approved $196.3 million in AIDS funding for the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) in fiscal 1986. In October, the Senate approved $221 million. As of this writing, the two bills had been submitted to a conference committee, a group that includes members from both legislative bodies. The conference committee will work out a compromise bill, and the result will be submitted to the full Congress for final approval. The bulk of the money to be appropriated, approximately double the 1985 funding level, would go to HHS's AIDS research efforts.* The Senate bill also includes $16 million for model AIDS-treatment programs. In addition, the Senate approved $10 million, and the House $6.6 million, for AIDS research by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Congress handles the FDA's budget separately from that of HHS. The FDA figures have also been submitted to a conference committee, which will decide on a compromise amount for final congressional approval. Civil Rights Many folks are surprised to learn that discriminating against lesbians and gay men is legal under current federal law. I recently mentioned to my office mate that many of my friends conceal their lesbian or gay identity at work because they fear for their jobs. My office mate was skeptical and said, "Oh, there must be laws saying you can't discriminate against gay people." He was shocked when I replied, "No, there aren't." The Civil Rights Act of 1964 forbids discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, and national origin but does not extend civil rights protection to lesbians and gay men. So far as federal law is concerned, employers may legally refuse to hire lesbians or gay men, and landlords may legally refuse to rent to gay or lesbian couples. In 1975, a bill to extend civil rights protection to lesbians and gay men was introduced in Congress for the 14/Malllla for the Joumey first time. Since then it has been reintroduced each year, but it has not gained the support needed for passage. The lesbian/gay rights bill would amend existing civil rights laws to prohibit discrimination on the basis of affectional or sexual orientation, which the bill defines to mean "male or female homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality by orientation or practice, by and between consenting adults." The bill would ban discrimination against lesbians and gay men in employment, housing, public facilities, and federally funded programs. As of October 1985, 67 representatives and 6 senators had signed on as cosponsors of the 1985 version of the lesbian/gay rights bill. There are, however, 435 representatives and 100 senators, and it is unlikely that the bill will become law at any time soon. Civil rights is currently not a popular issue in the federal government. Many members support the objectives of the lesbian/ gay rights bill, but they feel it would be politically unwise to cosponsor the bill publicly at this time. Immigration The Constitution gives Congress the power to enact laws governing immigration and naturalization. Congress thus has the constitutional authority to exclude undesirable classes of aliens, such as terrorists and drug smugglers, from the United States. In 1952, Congress determined that homosexual persons were an undesirable class of aliens. Under the 1952 law, which is still on the books, foreign nationals who are "afflicted with psychopathic personality, or sexual deviation, or a mental defect" are prohibited from entering the United States. Courts have interpreted "sexual deviation" to include homosexuality, and the Supreme Court has upheld decisions to deport alien on the basis of their homosexuality. In 1984, Representative Barney Frank CD-Mass.) introduced an immigration-reform bill in the House. This bill would extensively revise the grounds for excluding foreign nationals from the United States. In particular, gay and lesbian foreign nationals could no longer be excluded solely because of their homosexuality. The 1985 version of the bill had 60 cosponsors in the House as of October 1985. No bill has yet been introduced in the Senate. The Reagan administration has reacted favorably to Rep. Frank's bill. In hearings before the House Judiciary subcommittee on immigration, a representative of the Department of Health and Human Services testified in favor of it. In late 1985, however, the bill was still in committee, and it was unlikely to reach the House floor by the end of that year. The protection of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men on the national level is still a long way from enactment. While it is a popular belief in our society that the civil rights and freedoms of all persons are respected, the reality is not so. Lesbians and gay men are among the most vulnerable social groups in our society. It is critical that representatives and senators be informed of the need for such civil rights protection and that there is a large constituency, within the churches particularly, that qdvocates it. Church Leaders Support Gay Civil Rights Bill In the summer of 1985 several church leaders sent a letter to the representatives who had co-sponsored the lesbian/gay civil rights ill in the House expressing appreciation for their support. A similar letter was sent to other representatives inviting their support. These letters read in part: Our religious traditions teach the importance of providing equal justice to all persons and respect for the dignity ofeach person. We believe that the basic rights ofemployment, housing, and access to public services should not be denied anyone merely by reason oftheir sexual orientation. As representatives ofreligious traditions we recognize a .~pecial responsibility to provide moral leadership in improving public under. tanding of this issue and the persons it affects. While some of our traditions oppose the practice ofhomosexuality, our traditions maintain trong support for the protection of the basic civil and human nghts ofall persons. We support this particular legislation as necessary to secure the basic human rights of lesbians and gay men. The letters were signed by: Leland Wilson, Director, Washington Office, Church of the Brethren Raymond Nathan, Director, Washington Ethical Action Office, American Ethical Union Garnett Day, Division of Homeland Ministries, Christian Church William Weiler, Director, Washington Office, Episcopal Church Robert Z. Alpern, Director, Washington Office, Unitarian Universalist Association Rabbi David Saperstein, Co-director and Counsel, Religious Action Center, Union of American Hebrew Congregations George Chauncey, Director. Washington Office, Presbyterian Church (USA) Charles V. Bergstrom, Office for Governmental Affairs. Lutheran Council in the USA Guillermo Chavez, Dept of Political and Human Rights. Board of Church and Society, United Methodist Church Faith Evans, Office for Church in Society, United Church of Christ * Ed. note: While Congress and the administration have substantially increased funding for AIDS research, federal spending for other health-related research and programs have been proportionately reduced. Since much of the funds cut would benefit the health concerns of other minority groups, this has served to pit the interests of one minority group against those of others. Mannalor tlzeJoumey/15 by Ralph Watkins Ralph Watkins is a graduate ofUnited Theological Seminary and the Washington College ofLaw at The American University. He is a member of the District ofColumbia bar. A signal event for the recognition of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men happened on Saturday, _June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. On that night, the New York City police raided the private gay club in Greenwich Village and evicted 200 men. Much to the surprise of the police, who regarded gay men as passive "sissies," the crowd outside soon doubled in size and fought back, forcing the police to retreat into the bar, where they barricaded the doors for protection. When reinforcements arrived to rescue the police trapped in the bar, a one-hour riot erupted. Four police officers and an undetermined number of gay men were injured, and 13 arrests were made. This violent event produced two distinct shock waves that have had an impact on the lesbian/gay civil rights movement. First, the release of the pent-up anger against the capricious actions of the police brought a new sense of strength and pride to the lesbian/gay community, not unlike that felt by the black community after Rosa Parks' refusal to move to the rear of a Montgomery, Alabama, bus. Second, the political establishment recognized the risks of unreasonable discrimination that could provoke a group of people to the point of violent attacks on the officers of the city government. A community's recognition of its power and the wider community's recognition of the need for respect of a minority's rights were also hallmarks of the struggle for civil rights of black Americans. Like that struggle, the lesbian/gay civil rights movement contains arenas of action on all levels of government with opportunities for involvement of the religious community. It is important to understand the pivotal role the religious community plays in the political debate. The philosophy that underlies legal hostility toward gay men and lesbians is the result of centuries of religious teaching that homosexuality is unnatural and immoral. Much of the legal debate revolves around the propriety of the state regulating the morals of individual citizens. In this context, the church is perceived as having a special interest and authority. And, because of the long history of religious advocacy of legal oppression of lesbians and gay men, unless a church or religious leader expressly advocates lesbian/gay rights the political community assumes those leaders are in opposition. Church involvement in advocacy of the rights of gay men and lesbians is possible only where there has been sufficient education and dialogue within the church community for that advocacy to flow genuinely from the faith commitment of church members. It is important for church members to learn about the actual experience of lesbians and gay men with the law and to awaken their awareness of the biblical witness for the oppressed. It is unrealistic to expect to achieve a complete reversal of prejudice or unanimity in support of a particular strategy of witness. But, by building within a church a base of people who understand advocacy of the acceptance of gay men and lesbians as an expression of faith, a witness for lesbian/gay rights can be strengthened in the larger community. The first issue that may need to be addressed within a church as well as in the larger community is one of perspective. The general understanding of homosexuality as a "moral" question assumes two things that must be challenged-first, that homosexuality is simply a matter of the choice of some people to engage in certain sexual acts, and, second, that morality is simply a matter of conforming to a set of rules. The law and the church are beginning to recognize that homosexuality is an orientation, a personal characteristic that is not changeable. Still, it is important for the church to repeat one basic truth to keep clear a moral dimension that is too often overlooked: a community is obligated to protect the basic rights of its citizens from unreasonable 16/MallIIa for rheJounzey discrimination. Lesbians and gay men are at risk of the loss of their jobs, their housing, and other basic elements of life if people discover they are gay or lesbian. Where laws prohibiting sodomy still exist, there is also a risk of criminal prosecution. These tremendous legal pressures are brought to bear on individuals in the hope of forcing them to choose to act contrary to their basic orientation. The church must speak out against the cruelty and futility of this social pressure, and the most effective means of doing that is confronting the underlying assumption of choice and bearing witness to the truth of sexual orientation. A recurring theme in the battle to secure civil rights is the claim of some that civil rights laws grant special privileges to certain groups. This charge was leveled at the black civil rights movement and the women's movement, and now lesbian/gay rights advocates in turn are accused of seeking special privileges. The grain of truth in this charge is that the enactment of a civil rights law recognizes that some group has been selected by social prejudice for special disadvantages. The pattern of disadvantage signals to the government the need for scrutiny of instances of denial of employment or housing, or other types of disadvantage that may result from discrimination. This can hardly be called a special privilege for it assures only the ordinary benefits a person would receive were it not for discrimination. For those with a history in the black civil rights movement or the women's movement, the charge of "special privilege" is a familiar tune. The church, with its strong connections to both these movements, may be one of the institutions best equipped to remind the public that this charge has been heard and disproved before. Should a church choose to become involved in a local effort for protection of the rights of gay men and lesbians, a number of important steps should be taken to assure an effective witness. First, the local and state laws regarding the rights of lesbians and gay men need to be determined. Although a local attorney or American Civil Liberties Union chapter may be able to provide this information, it can be helpful to go directly to a city councilor state legislature. This method not only gets the needed information; it also signals political leaders that there is concern about an issue. This search for information may well reveal that the laws of a state do prohibit any sexual activity between persons of the same sex, that a state or city does forbid bars from serving homosexuals, and that there is no protection of basic rights. Or it may reveal that there are limited basic protections, perhaps a governor's or mayor's order prohibiting discrimination in public employment but no protection in private employment. As in the earlier movements for civil rights, it is important to work in coalition in efforts advancing lesbian/gay civil rights. Partly, this is a practical need for assembling enough political strength to move the government to act, but it is also an expression of the church's role in empowering communities to seek their own interests. Contacting one of the national lesbian/ gay civil rights organizations (see RESOURCES) is a (continued on next page) United Methodist Policy on Civil Rights of Lesbians/Gay Men The Social Principles of the United Methodist Church (UMC) as presented in 1972 contained the following sentence in the section on Human Sexuality: "Further we insist that all persons are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured." When this section was adopted at the 1972 General Conference another phrase was added: "though we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." ( Paragraph: 7lF The Book of Discipline 1984) A resolution entitled "Civil and Human Rights f Homos ual Per ons" was pr sented to the 1980 General Confer n e by th General Board of Church and Society (GBCS) and the G neral Commission on the Status and Role of Women. The resolution called for congressional legislation and an ex cutive order banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, equal treatment of homo exual parents in child custody cases, and prot ctions for lesbian/gay youth. The final sentence proved to be the most controversial: "The United Methodist Church calls upon its ag ncies, boards, commissions, and educational institution at all levels to insure human and civil rights of all persons, including employees. regardless of sexual orien ta tion." This last sentence was claimed to spouse "church employment at all levels, what ver the sexual orientation of the person" and raised the concern that it was supporting the ordination of lesbians and gay men. The r solution was rejected by a vote of 507-405. At the 1984 General Conference, the G BCS proposed a new "Rights of Homosexual Persons" paragraph in the Social Principles in the section addressing the rights of racial and ethnic minorities, religious minorities, children, youth and young adult , the aging, women, and persons with handicapping conditions. The proposed paragraph recognized the "invisibility" of homosexual persons due to threats of discrimination and called on churches to develop ministries "sensitive to and re pectful of the ne ds of these person and their families." During a long debate over this proposed r solution on the floor. contention was around the sentence: "We hold that persons should not be discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation, and we call for the creation and effective enforcement of legal sanctions against such discrimination." Opponents of the proposition brought forth amendments that would have stat d clearly th UMC's intent to discriminate in ordination and hiring of programmatic personnel. Concern was raised that the sentence as initially proposed would open the UMC to legal suits from les ian or gay ordained lergy who were denied employment. All attempts to amend the proposition were defeated. Despite several delegat s· attempt to reassure the conferenc that the proposed statement would in no way have made the UMC liable to a I gal suit, the entire paragraph was also rejected. The only nati nal UMC agency which has a policy of nondiscrimination based on exualori ntation in its hiring policy is the Gen ral Commission on the Status and Role of Women. Malllla jor the ]oUl7ley / 17 Involving the Church (continued) good way to find local groups that are addressing these concerns. These groups can then identify the most critical needs for a change in a city or state, and in dialogue with them an appropriate strategy can be developed. Any church that becomes involved in advocacy of the rights of lesbians and gay men may well face some persecution. A common fo rm of this is the accusation that the pastor or key church leaders are gay or lesbian. The fact that such a statement is seen as harmful is evidence that "none of us is free until all of us are free," as the civil rights slogan declares. So long as the fearful elements of society can threaten harm to any person by the mere accusation of homosexuality, our society will not be free of the grip of homophobia. Part of the redemptive work of the church should be freeing people from this unreasoning fear, and a church that advocates lesbian/gay rights probably will find itself thrust into this role. This is an aspect of the ministry that may be strengthened by training and reflection by the members on their own visions of femininity and masculinity. Finally, a church should be prepared to minister as a healer to the whole community. Some gay men and lesbians, as the victims of social oppression, may need counseling, legal aid, or financial assistance. Other people who fear change may need to be comforted and given a vision of a new society in which all of God's children are accepted as they have been created. Powerful people may need to be confronted and then offered a new chance for more responsible leadership. In any church program advancing lesbian/gay rights, the most effective advocates probably will be those who can sense the needs of many people for new understanding, or courage to act on their own knowledge, or patience to accept those whose views are different, and who can seek to meet those needs in a way that moves the whole community toward mutual respect and acceptance. Wheres domy statutes stan Sodomy laws under challenge Sodomy laws on the books; no challenge in process _ Map reprinted by permission of The Washington Blade. 51 Cities Have "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" 5/74 5/76 7172 11/77 7171 7175 10/78 6/84 4/84 9/84 7177 9175 6/82 1/79 2/75 10/84 1/79 5173 7/81 8/80 3/83 3/81 5177 10/84 4184 6179 3/75 4175 2/84 7/80 4174 3/75 1178 12/83 8174 8/82 12/74 4176 12/83 12/83 7184 7178 8175 8175 10175 1179 1177 4179 11173 11/84 7175 Lesbian/Gay Rights Law Fifty-one cities in 18 states and the District of Columbia have adopted laws which provide civil rights protections for lesbians and gay men. Here's a look at what those ordinances cover and month and year enacted: A Credit E - Public B Housing accomodations C Education F Real estate D Employment G Unions City ABC D E F G Date Alfred, N.Y. Amherst, Mass Ann Arbor, Mich. Aspen, Colo. Atlanta Austin, Texas Berkeley, Calif. Boston Buffalo, N.Y. Cambridge, Mass. Champaign, III. Chapel Hill, N.C. Chicago Columbus, Ohio Cupertino, Calif. Dayton, Ohio Detroit, Mich. East Lansing, Mich. Eugene, Ore. * Evanston, III. Harrisburg, Pa. Honolulu Iowa City, Iowa Ithaca, N.Y. Laguna Beach, Calif. Los Angeles Madison, Wis. Marshall, Minn. Maulden, Mass. Milwaukee Minneapolis Mountain View, Calif. New York Oakland, Calif. Palo Alto, Calif. Philadelphia Portland, Ore. Pullman, Wash. Rochester, N.Y. Sacramento, Calif. Saginaw, Mich. San Francisco Santa Barbara, Calif. Santa Cruz, Calif. Seattle Troy, N.Y. Tucson, Ariz. Urbana, III. Washington, D.C. W. Hollywood, Calif. Yellow Springs, Ohio • Law protects against intimidation on basis of sexual orientation. Source: National Gay Task Force; American Civil Liberties Union. Copyright. 1985 USA TODAY. Reprinted with permission. 18 / Mal/I/ajar rheJOlll71ey ~ IN Rt\ISE OFWS[x)M Litany L: I was taught by her whose skill made all things, wisdom. R: For in wisdom there is a spirit intelligent and holy, unique in its kind yet made up ofmany parts, L: Subtle, free-moving, lucid, spotless, clear, invulnerable, loving what is good, R: Eager, unhindered, beneficent, kindly towards men and women, L: Steadfast, unerring, untouched by care, R: All-poweiful, all-surveying, and permeating all intelligent, pure, and delicate spirits. L: For wisdom moves more easily than motion itself, R: She pervades and permeates all things because she is so pure. L: She is but one, yet can do everything; R: Herself unchanging, she makes all things new; L: Age after age she enters into holy souls, and makes them God's friends and prophets, R: For nothing is acceptable to God but the one who makes a home with wisdom. L: She is more radiant than the sun, and surpasses every constellation; R: Compared with the light of day, she isfound to excel; L: For day gives place to night, but against wisdom no evil can prevail. R: She spans the world in powerfrom end to end, and orders all things benignly. (Wisdom of Solomon 7:22-24, 27-8: 1 NEB) Prayer o Wisdom, beloved One, why are you so far from us? Our world suffers from your absence. No one seeks to be faithful to you, No one searches for you. We, your children, are rejected because people are so quick to believe false images, or so bound to seeing what they want to see, they can't face the truths in front of their eyes. You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free, it has been said. What is the truth about ourselves? Is it not you who have made us? Are we not, each one of us, your handiwork? We look around at the beautiful creation, so filled with diversity and complexity. Yet everything has a place and a purpose. You have made all things to work together for good. The tree's breathing creates the air we need to breathe. The fish find their way to their spawning grounds by the rhythms of the currents in their home streams. The wind sets free the thistle down and sows the seed. Is there anything in all creation that is not fitting? And we ourselves, each one of us, in our uniqueness, and diversity, and complexity, are not we, each one of us, a part of the whole and valuable as we are? o Wisdom, come to us! Teach us to see the goodness of ourselves. Teach the prejudiced to see the truth of human worth. Infuse the obstinant with your mobility. Give the human family open minds, open hearts, eyes of wonder, and a will attuned to the good. Amen. I'vIallllajor rhelOl/mel' / 19 Iby Steven Earl Webster t is no fluke that Wisconsin is roots organizing on the university's Steven Earl Webster is a native Wisconsinite the first and only state to legiscampus at about the same time as and a graduate of the University of WisconsinMadisoll. He serves as lay speaker, church hislate freedom from discriminathe Stonewall Riots of 1969. Though torian, and lay member of the annual conferthose riots occurred in New York tion based on sexual orientation. ence at University UM. Church. Webster was City, the defiance of social, governThis unique political victory was present at the founding meeting ofAffinnation the result of a combination of facmental, and police oppression of 10 years ago and was recently elected president homosexual persons that the riots tors. Among these are Wisconsin's ofthe Wesley Foundation of Wisconsin-Madison. independent and progressive tradirepresented struck a responsive chord throughout the nation. Fresh tion, years ofgrass-roots organizing by the state's lesbians and gay men, in the minds of many in Madison's lesbian/gay community at that time persistent and professional legisla" free" states. In 1853 the Wisconsin was an antihomosexual witch-hunt tive leadership, and broad support Annual Conference of the Methodconducted by university police from the state's major Christian ist Episcopal Church voted to against students and faculty in the denominations and their leaders. absolve its members of any moral mid-1960s. Such memories here Although much ofthe story leading obligation to obey that law. In 1854 and elsewhere combated comup to Wisconsin's action lies in the a Milwaukee mob freed a fugitive placency and fueled the struggle for state's own history, the state's exslave arrested by federal marshals justice. perience still should provide useful and sent him on his way to Canada Lesbian and gay organizing insights for civil rights struggles and freedom. Wisconsin also played also began about the same time in elsewhere. a major role in the "Underground Wisconsin's one "big city," MilRailroad," transporting many slaves waukee. The spirit of Stonewall to Canada. spawned an abundance of organiWisconsin became a state in The independent, forward-lookzations there that have continued 1848. Though originally settled by ing spirit evident in these actions to the present Milwaukee's lesdour, Sabbath-observing Yankees later found expression in the foundbian/ gay community included many from the Northeast, Wisconsin ing of a major third-party moveRoman Catholics, whose influenquickly came to be dominated by ment at the beginning of the 20th tial Archbishop Rembert Weakland century-the Progressive Party. The Gennan and Scandinavian immiwas to playa key role in the passage Progressive movement in American grants seeking political freedom of Wisconsin's lesbian/gay rights politics coincided with the protest and economic opportunity. Varylegislation. against conservative "social Daring notion of "Sabbath obserMadison soon joined the ranks. winism," the demand for demovance" divided the descendants of of those municipalities whose hucratic political refonns, the rise of the Puritans from the more funman rights ordinances were broadlabor, the women's suffrage moveloving Gennans. "Personal liberty" ened to prohibit discrimination ment, and the preaching of the was the rallying cry ofthe Germans based on sexual orientation. This "social gospel" by Protestant theoas they re isted existing laws manoccurred during the 1970s at a time logians and churches. According to dating a dull, no-beer-drinking when Madison's large student popMadison, Wisconsin, historian Sunday. Like today's lesbians and ulation was beginning to flex its David Mollenhoff, "No state was gay men, the Gennans objected to muscle in local electoral politics. It more often or more flatteringly legal intru ion into their private was largely through the efforts of associated with the new progressive lives in the name of narrow relilesbian and gay law students, tomovement than Wisconsin:' To gious views. gether with grass-roots support, this day, politicians of all perWisconsin's Yankee and Gerthat the local ordinance passed. suasions appeal with pride to Wisman settlers were united, however, consin's progressive tradition. by another issue ofhuman freedomAlso in the early 1970s, WisWisconsin's capital city, Madithe abolition of slavery. In 1850 the consin churches-including son, and the University of Wisconfederal government passed the sin, located there, have often been the Wisconsin Annual Conference Fugitive Slave Act, pennitting slave the center of progressive activity of the United Methodist Churchowners to enlist the aid of federal marshals to arrest and return runconcerning a wide variety of issues. began to debate the highly exploaway slaves from the Northern Lesbians and gay men began grasssive issue of lesbians and gay men 20 / Manna for fhe JOW71ey his work on the controversial U.S. in church and society. By action of son lesbian/gay community was bishop's pastoral letter on the econthe Wisconsin Conference in 1974, immediate. Likewise, liberal and omy) and Lutheran Bishop A.C. Bishop Jesse DeWitt appointed a moderate local clergy quickly spoke Schumacher-as well as United committee that both studied the out against the homophobic camMethodist Bishop Marjorie Matissue and promoted statewide dispaign. A series ofwidely publicized thews. cussion in the churches. Those disand well-attended dialogues were cussions always included issues Clarenbach also tapped into the held between Madison clergy and relating to the legal oppression of representatives of the Madison grass roots lesbian and gay movelesbians and gay men and to widement, addressing mass rallies, atlesbian/ gay community. The diaspread discriminatory practices. logues built up a lasting spirit of tending community functions, and "The human and civil rights" oflesencouraging lesbians and gay men mutual respect between the churches bians and gay men had already and the lesbian/gay community in to urge family and friends throughbeen affirmed by the denominaMadison. The Bryant movement out the state to communicate to tion's Social Principles in 1972, was effectively stopped in Madison, their legislators their support of the though those same principles also and the lesbian/gay community rights bill. Clarenbach's persistent declared homosexual practices to emerged better organized, more effort paid off in February 1982, be "incompatible with Christian respected, and stronger than before. when his bill passed both houses of teaching." the legislature and was sent to the Significantly, this official United governor's office. At the same time as these develMethodist position remains similar opments in church and society, to the official positions of other gay men and lesbians also increased mainline Protestant churches and their influence in local electoral " Christian" radio stations in the Roman Catholic Church. And, Madison and Milwaukee politics. I personally participated in eventually, this position served to mounted an 11th-hour campaign to a voter registration drive in a unite Wisconsin Roman Catholics, encourage listeners to call RepubMadison gay bar in the early 1970s Lutherans, Episcopalians, United lican Governor Lee Dreyfus's office and remember the interest of local Church of Christ members, United to urge his veto of the bill. Again, politicians in the ""gay vote." DurMethodist, Presbyterians, Unitarthere was an immediate grass-roots ing this period, David Clarenbach, ians, and Baptists in public support response from lesbians, gay men, a young man not yet 20 years old, of legislation protecting the human and their friends. WORT, a comwas elected by a Madison district to rights of lesbians and gay men. munity-based, listener-sponsored sit in the State Assembly. Shortly Despite this pro-rights consenradio station in Madison, reported after he assumed office, Clarensus developing among mainline the call-in campaign and urged its bach, now speaker pro temp, began Christians, the late 1970s saw Anita listeners to do some calling on the an eight-year legislative campaign Bryant become a prominent spokesother side. For the next few days, that resulted in Wisconsin's properson for the "Christian" position the governor's phone lines and staff hi ition of discrimination based on that homosexual persons should be were completely tied up, with calls sexual orientation in housing, emdenied the same human and civil from throughout the state equally ployment, or public accomrights accorded other persons. Brydivided for and against the bill. modations. Clarenbach identified ant's successful and viciou camNews reports indicated that the early the churches of Wisconsin as paign to repeal human rights progovernor moved up the date of potential allies. He solicited their tections in Dade County, Florida, signing to free hi phones and staff support in the form of letters from became a national trend. Other to resume ordinary business. bishops and other official spokesmunicipalities repealed similar At the signing ceremony, Govpersons who understood Christian local ordinances. Incidents of ernor Dreyfus spoke of the "funteaching as supporting the human homophobic violence increased. damental Republican principle that rights ofhomosexual persons. Most In Madison, a controversial government should have a very reprominent among these official Baptist pastor led a Bryant-style stricted involvement in people's spokespersons were the leaders of campaign against Madison's orthe state's two largest religious private and personal lives." The dinance. The grass-roots and orgovernor acknowledged the presgroups- Roman Catholic Arch( continued on next page) ganizational response of the Madibishop Weakland (now known for Mal/I/a for [he JOUl7ley /21 Justice in Wisconsin (continued) sure from Fundamentalists to veto bigotry can be tolerated." What 1 ssons here can be apCan a way be found to hold churches accountable for the bill, but he also cited the "supplied el ewhere, so that Wisconsin Christian teachings on human and port of a wide-ranging group of does not remain unique as the civil right? Can activists be held religious leaders, including the "Gay Rights State"? One lesson accountable to act in behalf of lesleadership of the Roman Catholic may be that lesbians and gay men bians and gay men'? Can conserChurch, several Lutheran synods, not write off too quickly the vatives be held accountable to and the Jewish community:' Dechurches, political partie, and conserve human rights for all perscribing the governor's action, Clargovernment as potential sources of sons? Can lesbians and gay men enbach said, "The issue which he support. Another lesson is the reach out to nonlesbian, nongay has d cided . . . is not whether importance of the grass roots to the friends to stand and vote together? homosexuality itself is admirable, "leaders" in successful efforts for Wisconsin shows that the answer to but whether discrimination and chang. all these questi ns is "ye ." Throughout its history, the oped over the last few years was church has been about the William Oliver is an United Church of Christ pastor in Beaumont, Texas. He was the camnow being put to the test. Officetask of defining and redefinpaign director for Citizens for a United holders whom they had supported Houston. ing its mission and ministry in the were being required to publicly world so that it might be faithful to take positions. God.One ofthe more common defThe gay/lesbian community had exercised its political muscle initions has been the church's call responded to this task by organizing by supporting several successful to continue the essential ministry of an ad hoc coordinating committee candidates for office. Among those Jesus Christ. As recorded in Luke's that was as broadly representative candidates was Mayor Kathy Whitgospel, Jesus reflected this call by of the gay and lesbian organizamire. The council's affirmative, but reading from Isaiah 61: tions as possible and at the same divided, vote had followed heated The Spirit ofthe Sovereign God is time small enough to function. The debate and public outcry by the Ku upon me,for God has anointed me committee named itself Citizens Klux Klan and other rightist groups. to preach good news to the poor. for a United Houston (CUH). Gay/ Soon after the council's action, the God has sent me to proclaim relesbian activists in the community opposition began to close ranks lease to the captives and recovering ofsight to the blind, to set at liberty quickly called on their own politiand organized a petition drive to cal expertise, national political rerepeal the ordinance. They chose to those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year ofGod's favor. sources, local political operatives, Since its beginning, when the make the issue a vote on "gay and professional campaign conchurch has faced serious moral derights," "gay lifestyles," and "the sultants to advise them in preparcisions about its role in the political fear of AIDS." ing a campaign. arena and acted with courage, it To understand what Houston's churches actually did in this conhas often affirmed this prophetic troversy, it is helpful to note what role as defender of the powerless. Decisions were made early to Such a situation was faced by was occurring within the city's gay/ remain low key in terms of the churches in Houston, Texas, in lesbian community and among the public exposure, leave the current 1984, when the city council adopted so-called hate groups. officeholders in the background, an ordinance prohibiting job disThe gay/lesbian community in and reduce the level of discoursecrimination in city employment Houston is not monolithic and, at least during the fall of 1984. based on sexual preference. Counthough sizable, is often fractious to (National general elections were cilman Anthony Hall had introthe point of being at war with itself. that November.) duced the ordinance following the The threat of losing this referenThese decisions had both posiencouragement of the city's gay/ dum provided a crisis moment for tive and negative results. The oppolesbian community, which earlier the community. All the political clout that had been carefully develsition was forced into a more 22/Manna for the }ow71ey difficult position because it had have had to be cautious in their munity was not able to capture the only a vague enemy to organize imagination of the national gay/ behavior. against and could not call upon the lesbian community in a manner CUH made efforts to force the dollar resources that were then similar to the way it was done in leadership of the religious comgoing into Republican campaigns. Miami. It is difficult for a group munity to respond faithfully to It allowed the gay/lesbian comthat is so new to the political arena their commitments. The success in munity to solidify and mobilize this effort was limited to the public to understand that what happens in itself without the constant exposure one major city may indeed seriously statements of leaders rather than in of the public eye. But public excitesignificant assistance in the actual affect everyone. ment serves an essential role in organizing of their constituencies. The bishop of the United Methhelping organize political efforts, Despite the shortage of dollars, and, largely because of the low-key odist Church, the Presbytery executhe best available poll data approach, the campaign suffered tive, the association minister of the indicated that the campaign was on Disciples of Christ, the Episcopal from apathy and lethargy. target. The unanswered question in CUH hired me as a political bishop, and a few others conferred this data was the matter of who with each other and issued a joint consultant and campaign manager. would actually show up to vote. The They thought that my experience in statement that was indeed suppordata seemed to indicate that there many victorious campaigns with tive. This bold and courageous were sufficient votes to win if this some of their allies, my credentials action opened them to criticism. It referendum had been on the ballot was clear, In many cases, that as a Protestant clergyman, and my of a regular city election. public sentiment even within their situation as a married heterosexual Voters favorable to the City own ranks did not support either would be valuable assets. Council's action were not as highly the denominational policies or the In the fall of 1984, we achieved motivated as were those who strongcouncil's action. all our primary campaign objecly opposed the ordinance. If the Church leaders were further tives with the serious exception of persons who saw the issue as a "jusraising the anticipated dollars. frustrated in their efforts by the fact tice" issue had been going to the Though we had shaped our objecthat they were in no position to polls to vote anyway, they would tives to keep the costs of running control the necessary campaign have voted with us, but they were our campaign as low as possible, supporting the ordinance nor to not moved to make the effort to even the remaining expenses could manage the issues as they develvote when this was the only issue not be met. Therefore, from the very oped. The campaign committees on the ballot. This was not the case beginning the effort was underon both sides essentially functioned with the opposition. The low turnfunded. from their respective positions on out of supportive persons may have The lack of available dollars gay/lesbian concerns without much been partly the fault of weak adverwas due to several factors: consideration for where the church tising, but more likely it was the or the vast majority of citizens 1) The gay/lesbian community result ofour human frailty in acting had not developed a strong workcame down on the issues. on what we know is right. That kind of circumstance is ing relationship with the structures Church leadership felt caught not unique for the church. The within the religious communityin a special bind. For the most part, church must often act on issues the churches, the clergy organizanational church bodies had made that it would rather either avoid or, tions, the church social-action pronouncements opposing disagencies, or the heavy contributors at least, control the circumstances crimination in employment because under which it acts. Here was a case within those groups. of sexual preference. Now local 2) The gay/lesbian community where persons were clearly captives leadership had the task of acting in of oppressive attitudes and policies had no tested mechanism for raissome manner with regard to those ing the kind of dollars necessary, and where there was a real opporstated positions. The Jewish comtunity to set at liberty those who nor did it have a clear perception of munity moved first and with the the real cost in running a city-wide suffer. clearest statements. This was uncampaign. Its experiences at fund derstandable because the experience raising had been on a much smaller We in the church ought to of job discrimination was so fresh examine our role in events scale. in their corporate memory. The 3) The politicians. that were like the referendum in Houston. black church community, however, supportive of their efforts were very was not so supportive, largely beUnless we learn from our failures reluctant to share their financial and weaknesses we will continue to cause of the sizable number of funresource people. They chose to damentalist churches. In general, be less than faithful to our calling. guard those persons as their private We can ill afford to leave people the black clergy with the most polireserve. This was especially true for tical clout are from that tradition. powerless and without self-deterthe mayor, even though she stood Mainline black Protestant clergy mination. We can never be faithful the most to lose by failure in this have less recent history of political until we learn to use the tools and campaign. activism; they have had to survive resources God has given us as the 4) The local lesbian/gay comin largely white denominations and Body of Christ. MallIIa for the fowlIey /23 ,~ In order to facilitate further study ofthe issues of lesbian/gay civil rights and how you or your local church can be involved in these issues, we present some resources for your use. Organizations The following organizations are all national organizations working on lesbian/gay civil rights. The appropriate local organizations are too numerous to list. For more infonnation on lesbian/ gay civil rights laws and initiatives in a specific area you can contact one ofthese national organizations, a local chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, or the local bar association. Federation of AIDS-Related Organizations 729 8th Street, S.E. #200 Washington, DC 20003 202/547-3101 An association of the city and state AIDS groups which work together to lobby Congress and the administration on AIDS funding, research, and public health policies dealing with persons with AIDS. Human Rights Campaign Fund P.O. Box 1396 Washington, DC 20013 202/546-2025 A political action committee (PAC) which distributes funds to political candidates on the basis of their support or potential support for lesbian/gay civil rights legislation. HCRF has recentlyjnstituted the "AIDS Campaign Trust" to give political contributions to candidates who support AIDS research and funding. Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund 132 W. 43rd Street New York, NY 10036 212/944-9488 A nonprofit organization which pursues litigation to counter discrimination against lesbians and gay men, as well as educational programs to raise public awareness of lesbian/gay legal concerns. Lesbian Rights Task Force National Organization of Women 425 13th Street, N.W. Washington, DC 20004 202/347-2279 A project of NOW which has provided education, community organizing, and advocacy of legal rights of lesbians. The task force is currently inactive awaiting hiring of new staff persons. National Gay Rights Adl'ocates 540 Castro Street San Francisco, CA 94114 415/863-3624 Similar to the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, NGRA provides legal assistance and support to lesbians and gay men involved in civil rights litigation. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force 80 Fifth Avenue New York, NY 10011 212/741-5800 or 2335 18th Street, N.W. Washington, DC 20009 202/332-6483 Chiefly a lobbying and educational organization for lesbian/gay civil rights. Has 6500 members nationwide. Recently has engaged in a special project to illuminate lesbian/gay concerns through the media and a project on violence toward lesbians and gay men (see article in this issue). Books The books listed below are a sampling of recent writings which address issues of lesbian/gay civil rights. They represent the wide range of issues involved. A brief synopsis is given for each. Buchanan, G. Sidney. Morality, Sex, and the Constitution: A Christian Perspectil'e on the Power of GOl'ernment to Regulate Private Sexual Conduct between Consenting Adults. Lanham, MD: University Press of America, Inc., 1985. Somewhat technical legal writing by an Episcopalian layman. Blends support for right to privacy between consenting adults with upholding the moral value of heterosexual marriage and family. . Curry, Hayden and Clifford, Denis. Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley. 1980. A guidebook to negotiating matters of practical living which confront lesbian/gay couples; topics include buying and selling property, wills, powers of attorney. Hitchens, Donna J. and Thomas, Ann G. Lesbian Mothers: An Annotated Bibliography of Legal and Psychological Materials. 2nd ed. San Francisco: Lesbian Rights Project, January 1983. The title says it aiL The address for ordering a copy is: 1370 Mission Street, 4th floor, San Francisco, CA 94103. Knutson, Donald, ed. Homosexuality and the Law. New York: The Haworth Press, Inc., 1980. A double issue of the Journal of Homosexuality 5 (Fall-Winter 1979/80). Topics include constitutional right to privacy, employment discrimination laws, the rights of homosexual aliens, and a review of legal developments in the lesbian/gay rights movement. Marotta, Toby. The Politics of Homosexuality. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1981. A historical review and political analysis of the development of the lesbian/gay liberation movement in New York City in the 1970s. Norwick, Kenneth P., ed. Lobby for Freedom in the 1980's. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons; Perigee Books, 1983. A practical guide to influencing local/state governments. One chapter is on gay rights. Appendix has many sample materials for a local campaign. Shilts, Randy. The Mayor of Castro Street. New York: St Martin's Press, 1982. A biography of gay activist and San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk and also a review of the recent lesbian/gay political movement Stoddard, Thomas B.; Boggan, E. Carrington; Haft, Marilyn G.; Lister, Charles; and Rupp, John P. The Rights of Gay People. New York: Bantam Books, 1983. Published by the ACLU, this is a concise authoritative guide to securing and/or protecting the legal rights of lesbians and gay men. Appendices include texts of many statutes and a bibliography. The Gay Writers Group. It Could Happen to You: An Account of the Gay Rights Campaign in Eugene, Oregon. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1983. The May 1978 struggle was lost, but much was learned along the way. Helpful for communities where ordinances are being proposed. 24 / Maflfla jar the ]ow71ey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 3 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/41563c386658dc06362f86c1731b3923.pdf 127ba69c6f91b987aedf999ac563c349 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1, NO.4 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 SPRING 1986 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: The Family of God .... .................. .. 3 by Ben Roe Counseling with Gay and Lesbian Couples .... . . ....... .... ........... ..... . . 13 by Dorothy Gager Scenes from a Journey .. . . . 6 by Frank Smith fV The Reconciling Congregation Program is a VOL. 1, NO.4 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 SPRING 1986 network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations fi nd strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Manna for the Journey. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue Mark Bowman Ben Roe Judy Cayot Martha Rutland-Mary Gaddis Wallis Dorothy Gager Bradley Rymph Jeanne Knepper Elizabeth Smith Alice Knotts Frank Smith Fred Methered Mike Underhill Julie Morrissey Graphic artist: Beth Richardson Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. Contents The wordfamily originates from a Sanskrit word meaning household. Family means all the people living in the same household. As a family of God, we are a multicolored, multigifted, unique collection of households. Each of us are children of God, which makes us a part of that larger unit: the household of God. Our families are diverse. We are families with gay, lesbial), and bisexual children. We are families with gay or lesbian parents. We are families of gay or lesbian lovers or partners. We are families of single adults living together. We are single parents and parents living apart from our children. We are married and divorced and single and young and old. We celebrate, in this issue of Manna/or the Journey, the diversity of our families, and thus the family of God. Ben Roe opens with a theological reflection on "The Family 0/God" (p. 3~. Three articles reflect on the experience of coming out in a family situation. In "Scenes on a Journey" (p .. 6), Frank Smith shares his learning and growth as the father of a lesbian. Elizabeth Smith responds t9 his story in a "Letter to Dad" (p. 8). Fred Methered's "Out-At Last" (p. 15) reflects upon his coming out in the later years of his life. Judy Cayot and Mike Underhill write about their personal experiences as lesbian and gay parents. "Joys and Frustrations 0/a Lesbian Parent" (p. 9), by Cayot, tells of her family's transition to a new lifestyle, their journey together to be a family that is nonhomophobic and open. Underhill deals with the cultural tensions of being a gay father in "Nurturing Children: A Gay Father's Perspective" (p. 11). "Counseling with Gay and Lesbian Couples " (p. 13) by Dorothy Gager, reflects on the similarities and differences in therapy with gay and lesbian clients. Martha Rutland-Wallis presents an overview of the local church's "Opportunities/or Ministry" to the special families that include gay men, lesbians, and bisexual persons (p. 17). Also in this issue is a short bibliography of books helpful for ministry with families in RESOURCES (p. 24). In SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 19), Jeanne Knepper and Alice Knotts offer a liturgical reflection on Pentecost for a family setting. (Both are Ph.D. students in religion and social change at Iliff School of Theology and the University of Denver, where Knepper is currently chairperson of the Iliff Community Senate and Knotts is a national vice-president of the Methodist Federation for Social Action from the Rocky Mountain chapters. They are both parents, each with a 12-year-old daughter.) The RCP REPORT brings us up to date on the activities of the Reconciling Congregation Program, as well as current events in gay and lesbian issues in the church (p. 21). May this issue on "Our Families" open doors for the nurture and care of our diverse households. Peace to you in this season. ISSN 0884-8327 2/Mal/flO for the Jow7Iey when homosexuality becomes by Ben Roe strengthened, knowledge expanded, known. The truth of who a gay or lesbian person is can clash severely with favored notions about sex. uality, morality, and spirituality. Sometimes the notions win, and the gay, lesbian, or bisexual son or daughter must find family elsewhere. As one of my friends puts it, what could have been family becomes only relatives. So lesbian and gay people often have to take a hard look at what "family" means. . Non-gay/lesbian family members also face painful difficulties. The social stigma faced by lesbian/ gay folk is also shared to a degree. When gay persons come out to family, many families go into the closet, often having no one to share their struggle with, feeling the same isolation theiilesbian/gay ,family member felt. Often a family's reaction follows the traditional grief process. After all, there is usually a sense of loss: of an image, expectation, interpretation, dream, hope. Different and adjustments made so that each families react differently, some Ben Roe is a United Methodist minister. pasfamily member comes out a true more intensely than others. Denial, toral counselor, educator, and executive director winner. There is a closeness, openas the first stage of grief, can last ofMinistry in Human Sexuality, a counseling, ness, and honest caring that facilyears, even after disclosure occurs: education, and advocacy agency in Lincoln, itates growth in everyone. "Family," "Oh no! You can't be gay!" Shock is Nebraska. then ideally means a high quality common: "We've lost our child." of interpersonal relationships. INumbness and confusion are n my work as a pastoral counThis kind of "Walton's Mounnormal. selor, I see over and over the tain" or "Cosby Show" family is Bargaining is another common importance of the family in rare, I suspect, and most of us have reaction or stage: "Is our child our lives. at least some "unfinished business" (brother/sister) really gay?" "You It is in the close quarters and relating to some aspect of our own need a psychiatrist to change you." close daily contacts of the family in family of origin. Bribery and threats are sometimes which we grow up that we learn The contrast between the ideal used to try to bargain away the how to live and relate with other reality. people. It is there that we learn how and the reality ofa given family can be extremely painful. Alcoholism Anger is also common as part of to look at the world, how to comand other chemical dependency; this process: "If you loved us, municate, and what to expect from physical, emotional, and sexual you'd ..." "You're only doing this to life and other people. abuse; and mental illness all have hurt us." Families can be the kind of dynamics that make the reality of a Sadness or depression may model human community that given family's life particularly painneed to be moved through, as well. generates emotional and spiritual ful. Instead of preparing each A family member can feel the sadhealth. Such families are loving, member for more full and effective ness of the losses. Perhaps there optimistic, and warm. They have participation in life, a family may will be sharing of the painful that "just right" balance of hucompromise growth potentials, unrealities that can go with being gay manness-not too perfect, but "good dermine and sap coping resources, or lesbian. Perhaps there will be enough." They are perfectly human, or fail to facilitate their developdifficulties with other family modeling forgiveness, grace, and ment altogether. members. flexibility when mistakes are made, The pain of real-life family exFortunately, in many or most and showing commitment to strugperience is often accentuated with cases, there eventually is a growing gling through differences to resoluthe issue of homosexuality. Ifopensense of acceptance: "Yes, my son/ tion. These are the families where ness and honesty were present brother is gay," or "My daughter/ each challenge is met, coping skills before, they may simply disappear (continued on next page) Manna for the Jowney / 3 will is desired and done. The Family' of God (continued) finally turning more intentionally sister is lesbian," maybe including In Galatians 4, Paul uses the to forms of worship, prayer, and image of adoption as sons and a sense of pride at the accommeditation. Finally, we find ourplishments in the face of some daughters of God in describing selves recognizing a sense of sonadversity. how the relationship with God ship or daughtership-co-creatorchanges for believers. I like to think ship. The biological, legal, and social of the change being one of invitaThere are many instances where tion, acknowledgement, and weldefinition of "family," howthe faithful in an established relicome: potentially all people can live gion either had difficulty accepting, ever,is not the,wholeistory.\There1is as sons and daughters ofthe Creator. or refused to accept, those outside a psychologicaJ and spiritual meaning of "family" that can be helpful. their definition, their particular The invitation is constantly exunderstanding, of religion or famAnd, for Christian believers, there tended. The only thing needed to be welcome in God's family is for one ily. There were the outcasts who is an additional, profoundly rich to recognize God's parenthood and responded to Jesus: the tax collecmeaning to "family." one's sonship or daughtership. tor disciple, the Samaritan woman There is a vast difference beat the well, the leper who desired tween the idea of "family" as Over and over Paul's message is healing, the woman pouring expennuclear (father, mother, children that there is no way to win favor sive oil over Jesus' feet, and Zacliving together) and the family in with God: the only thing required is to allow the Spirit to "move in us" chaeus. Jesus didn't turn aside. He Hebrew culture. The family was a enabling us to respond to God's engaged each in the way that was central part of Hebrew culture, including many beyond blood relmost healing for each. The Bible love. atives: slaves, foreigners, hired serGod's initiative and our respeaks of those excluded in society vants. The family was so meaningsponse to God is the key to membeing included in God's family. bership in this family. ful that it was used as an image for God's love reaches out to include This family is not based on both the tribes and nations of Israel those exiled by their society. There and Judah and for Israel's covenant accomplishment, appearance, good are also numerous times God has grades, or "merit" of any kind. challenged us to expand our definicommunity with God. Jesus' use of the word "Father" God's family is based on acknowltion of faith. This inclusion ofthe "excluded" to refer to God implied a new closeedgement of God's being our loving creator, a creator who cares for us ness, "simplicity and directness of in family can have special meaning as a parent for a child, and God's for gay and lesbian folk. The rejecapproach to God"* and took the Jewish use of "Father" to a new being co-creator with those who retion they often experience is not spond. This family is characterized just of behavior, like a troublesome depth of relationship and intimacy. by a high quality of relationship. adolescence or difficulties with Jesus" use of I "my Father's This family begins with God's parents or job, but of a basic part of house" in Luke 2, for instance imlove always being there for usidentity- the way a person is. mediately deepened and expanded constant, urging, coaxing, inviting The resolution of problems the meaning of the family of God, us into a more open, active relaopen to non-gay/lesbian people is particularly in the context of the tionship. We experience momennot open to gay/lesbian people: yearly "family outing," the visit to tary self-affirmation and recognize once one's homosexual (or bisexthe temple. it as a gift of true grace, and we ual) orientation is disclosed, cerIn our times of greater concern might utter a little "Thank you, tain options of employment are for equality ofwomen and men, we God." Paul would say this is God's closed, no matter how hard one need to note that it is the depth, spirit moving us to call out "Abbaworks (such as ordained ministry intimacy, and closeness that is Father," or "Mother" or simply or teaching). One can never be important in the term "Father," not "God." integrated into what John Forthe gender of the term. Now, for tunato calls the "mythic system"some, "Mother" could also connote the idea that we are in control of This is the beginning of faith, this closeness. our own lives-that if we work For Jesus, the idea of the family when we are enabled to interhard, and do the right things, we pret our experience of self-affirmais not biological. Matthew 12:47-50 can be in charge, get more power, tion as a gift of grace. From there contains the story of Jesus gesturwe can be on an ascending spiral: more money, more rewards. ** ing to his disciples, saying, "These And so lesbians, gay men, and we wonder about where that grace are my mother and my brothers their families must go deeper in came from, we wonder if God was and sisters. Whoever does God's somehow involved, then we decide will is my brother, sister, and to look into it more or be open mother." And, in Luke 8:21, Jesus *The Interpreter's Dictionary of the Bible more. We might decide to pass on declares, "Those who hear the word (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1962), vol. 2, p. the grace in a small way. And our of God and act upon it are my 433. action helps confirm our beginning mother, sister, and brother." Family **John Fortunato, Embracing the Exile: Healfaith. We recognize God's involvebecomes based on a close relationing Journeys of Gay Christians (New York: ment in our lives in many ways, Seabury Press, 1982). ships with God, so close that God's 4 / Manna for the JOu/lIey faith, in claiming a place in the broadest family of all, the family of God. What would it look like for a church to be this kind of family? John Fortunato suggests: When you are sitting and looking into the face of the mystery, when you are overcome with awe and gratitude and joy for the overwhelming everythingness ofGod, and you feel like an empty vessel being filled to oveiflowing with love, the sexual preference of the person next to you is just nothing. It doesn't matter at all. What matters is that you are both there, looking, worshipping, and being loved by love. Anything else is a distraction. (p. 108) Translating that into our day-today experience as a Christian community, it would mean: • a sensitivity to a member having difficulty, without rushing either to judge or "fix" the problem; • listening actively, sensitively, and lovingly for the person to grow in their faith a bit more; • a deep level of acceptance of each member at his or her own particular point in the personal faith journey; • actively looking for the gifts and graces of each person and actively recognizing and appreciating them, not for what the person does or doesn't do, but for who the person is; • actively seeking to learn about the difference among people and how the Gospel can be spoken to them; • learning about the different stages of faith development, so that folks could be met where they are. In order for our churches to be more this kind of family, we might have to challenge some of the assumptions our culture hasabout the place of faith, religion, and spirituality and about the diversity of the gift of sexuality and its expression. But these things are already part of what ·is the best in our tradition, and things that express the best of our Christian spirit. - Homosexuality: A Family Issue "I'\is letter from the November 1984 issue ofengage/social action expresses well ~ the purpose for this issue ofManna for the Journey. The church has often failed in its ministry to families that have concerns related to homosexuality. What would it take to fill the void ofmissed opportunity for ministry? I liked your issue on the family very much, and am so thankful to see the "mainline" church taking the offensive and claiming a positive family ministry. I am as tired as anyone of the Religious Right claiming the exclusive use to the word "family." I especially appreciated the variety of concerns, including economics, day care, adult dependent care, etc. In an earlier issue, you reviewed the issue of homosexuality as it was raised at the General Conference. For a long time, I have believed that this issue might be looked atfirst andforemost by mainline churches as a family issue. This is the important point that Parents & Friends of Gays & Lesbians tries not to tire of making. The Religious Right always attempts to pit the cause of the rights of gays and lesbians over against the cause of family and unity and hannony. This is a very destructive strategy and, unfortunately, often a successful one. The ministry to the family vis-a-vis homosexuality seems particularly relevant to the sections of the General Conference statement on "Ministries Within Families and Between Family Members" and "Ministries to Families in Need." In the long laundry list of possible situations and problems, the family issues related to homosexuality are glaringly missing (I am not unaware ofjust why that might be). My parents are United Methodists. I wish that their local church, which they have loved and served for more than 30 years, could have been of real comfort and genuine help to them as they struggled through the truth of my gayness. But instead, it isolated them, increased their fears, and left them to fend for themselves on this issue. It has taken us nearly 10 years to repair our otherwise warm and secure relationship-and we had to do it without the help of the United Methodist Church. That is tragic. I am sure that in the church they belong to, there are dozens, even scores, of other parents of gays and lesbians who might have been able to really help each other mend and grow. What a tremendous loss for them and for the whole church. This is not even to mention the fact that gays and lesbians grow up and make families of our own-some fairly traditional, some not. Probably before we could ever even begin to be welcomed, the church needs to welcome hearing the needs of those parents and siblings who suffer in isolation. On a positive note, the church could learn tremendous things from folks like my parents. The story of how our family got torn up and healed in dealing with this issue is a miracle story, one of hope, reconciliation, love and courage. The church could learn how to embrace gays and lesbians by learning from families who have embraced their gay sons and daughters. That is an incredible resource right under our noses that we are not daring enough to use. I'm proud of both my families-the one who nurtured me as a child, and who stuck with me through transitions; and my new family, a relationship (seven years strong) with a woman and a world-wide Metropolitan Community Church family. It is my hope and prayer that the church will continue to struggle to be able to embrace the gifts of family experiences like mine and millions of other folks. The Rev. Nancy Wilson, Los Angeles, CA Reprinted by permission from engage/social action. November 1984. pp. 45-46. lV/alllla for the ' OUl71ey /5 · . Frank Smith is the pastor o/Grace United Methodist Church in Miami, Florida. We were stunned. My wife read the letter and then handed it to me without saying a word. Our daughter, Elizabeth, who was a student at New York University, had written a long letter explaining that she was a lesbian. We were shocked, hurt, confused, mortified. It was as though our personhood and character had been attacked, if not destroyed. She was our oldest child, bright and eager, had been interested in medicine since she was a child, and would be getting her B.S. in Nursing and her R.N. We loved her and were proud of her. And then that letter: We felt wiped out, not knowing which way to turn. Even so, something told me that we should call Elizabeth right then and assure her of our love. We did so, but the conversation was extremely awkward. The words were terribly halting. Nevertheless, I felt a little better afterwards. At least the lines of communication were open. Elizabeth came home soon after that, and the three of us spent an evening talking. The air was charged. Each of us was angry. It was as though she expected us to understand fully and completely accept her position right then and there! And her mother and I responded by saying all the wrong things. We wanted to know why she couldn't be "'normal." Where had we as parents gone wrong? And so on. She gave us books to read. I felt imposed upon. One of the books was Sappho Was a Right-On Woman. It was about lesbian bars and assignations there and about hard, tough women. The book turned my stomach, and it was all I could do to get through it. All the time though, I assured myself that surely this wasn't our Elizabeth! She must be testing us. She also gave us a brochure about an organization called Parents of Gays (POG). I read it and laid it aside. Months later, I read the leaflet again and decided to visit the group nearest me. By this time, my wife and I had separated (not because of . Elizabeth), and I had moved from our suburban home in New Jersey to an apartment in Manhattan. The New York Parents of Gays met on Sunday afternoon at Metropolitan Duane United Methodist Church in Greenwich Village. There were about 20 or 30 people there, mostly parents, including two or three gay men and a few sons and daughters. One father, a doctor, also there for the first time, was convinced that homosexuality was a psychological problem that could and should be cured. Others tried to help him accept his son's homosexuality as natural. I didn't agree with the doctor, but neither was I comfortable with the idea of homosexuality being perfectly natural. I went back to POG several times, once with Elizabeth. The meeting we attended together was just prior to the annual Gay Pride Parade in Manhattan. POG was going to march in the parade, and those who were willing to participate were asked to raise their hands. My hand did not go up. Before the week was over, though, I called Elizabeth and told her I had decided to march. I expected her to be elated, but she was very matter-of-fact and said perhaps she would see me there. When the parade was forming in the Village and we were getting ready to march up Fifth Avenue, along came Elizabeth and her lover Annie bounding up. They hugged and kissed me and joined the Parents' group. The three of us marched arm-in-arm up Fifth Avenue. In the Village, there were large crowds of young adults who applauded and cheered the Parents' group. Along the way, we gave out POG literature, and many of these young people were delighted to get a brochure to send to their parents. After that day, I participated in several other Gay Pride Parades in New York, though there never was another one quite as exhilarating as that first with Elizabeth and Annie. I have to be honest and admit though it was much easier for me to participate in Gay Pride Parades in the relative anonymity of New York City, where I served as a General Board of Global Ministries staff person, than it would be now as a pastor in Miami. About this time, another significant event happened. Joan Clark, a staff person in the Women's Division of the General Board, had made public statements about her lesbianism. Consequently, several members of the General Board were pushing for her dismissal from the staff. At a spring meeting 6 / Manna for the Journey by Frank Smith of the General Board, Clark's situation was debated, and it was voted that she be dismissed from her position. During the meeting, while the Women's Division was going through that difficult process, I met one of their directors (a good friend of mine) in the hall. She spoke of the ordeal they were experiencing, and I shared very briefly with her that I was experiencing some of that pain and growth myself. A few days later, back in my office, I received a phone call from a Women's Division staff person saying that they were going to hold two workshops on human sexuality in which homosexuality would be discussed. She further asked me to serve as a resource person. I was astounded! I replied that I had only recently begun what I was sure would be a long journey and that I had no wisdom or expertise to share. She persisted, however, and I reluctantly agreed. A few days later she called back and asked if I thought Elizabeth would be willing to participate. I was pleased-in fact, excited-when Elizabeth said she would. When Elizabeth and I arrived at the Catholic Retreat Center in the Bronx, where the first workshop was to be held, she said to me, "I feel like I'm going into a lion's den!" I said, "No, it won't be like that." And it wasn't. Our part on the program the next morning took place in a fish-bowl arrangement. Elizabeth and I, together with Affirmation leader Michael Collinsand Kim Porter, a good friend from Florida-were in the fish bowl. Women's Division staff and directors encircled us. Elizabeth spoke with emotion but clarity. I remember Elizabeth saying that she probably expected too much of her mother and me too quickly; and, since her parents were "so-called liberals," she thought that we could handle the fact that she was homosexual! I remember saying that, when her mother and I first received Elizabeth's news, we agreed that we mustn't tell Granny. Granny wouldn't be able to handle it. As if we were! I also struggled to remember a quotation from Shakespeare that my colleague, Beverly Chain, helped me to recall: Let me not to the m arriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alterations finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. (1l6th Sonnet) I did not want my love for Elizabeth to alter. The warmth and acceptance that Elizabeth and I received in that workshop were wonderful. Every once in a while now, nearly seven years later, I see someone who was at that workshop, and she will ask me, "How is Elizabeth?" At another time, I saw a notice that the Kirkridge Retreat Center in Pennsylvania was having a weekend session on "The Christian Faith and Homosexuality." I figured that this I would help me in my understanding of Elizabeth and in my relationship with her. So I went. The leadership was outstanding: feminist Episcopalian theologian Carter Hayward, Roman Catholic theologian John McNeill, feminist evangelical writer Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, and others. As it turned out, I was one of the very few "straight" persons there. It was basically a group of gay men and lesbians worshiping together and enjoying being together and the freedom of being themselves. In small groups, we each went around a circle briefly telling our stories. When it was my turn, J said that my daughter was a lesbian and that I wanted to relate to her with understanding and that was why I had come. The young woman leading the group jumped up and hugged me and said she wished so much that her father were open to her. Then she and I both wept. Idon't know how to analyze or evaluate these experiences. And I certainly don't know how to advise other parents of lesbians and gay men. I simply know that that I am grateful that we didn't allow the shock of learning that Elizabeth is a lesbian to come between us and separate us. Elizabeth is a sensitive, caring person whom I love and admire. I thank God daily that she is my daughter and friend. And I also thank God that, through Elizabeth, I have had the opportunity to shed the demeaning and debilitating baggage of homophobia. Manna for the Joumey /7 !-Dear Dad, The honesty and love you've expressed in the above account exemplifies what a special person you are. With several years' perspective, I am much more appreciative of those qualities in you than I was when I came out to you and Mom. About a year passed between the time I began confronting my own homosexuality and my initial discussion about it with you. That year became more and more awkward and painful because I felt like I was withholding an important part of myself from you. I was living a lie. I did not want to have such big secrets, and I could not imagine a lifetime of concealment. It became clear that I had no choice but to tell you. You had to know, for my peace of mind. I was extremely anxious about telling you I am a lesbian. At worst, it meant suffering your disapproval of me. At best, we would need to deal with the normal reactions of bewilderment, anger, guilt, and withdrawal. I felt responsible to make you understand, and that was a tall order! And yet, deep down, I knew what I had always known. You loved me, and nothing could change that. Values that you and Mom taught and lived included the willingness to love all kinds of people and the abhorrence of discrimination. Because of these values, I expected you to have little trouble accepting my lesbianism. Oh, I knew that there would be an initial "adjustment period," but I thought it would last minutes instead of months! Needless to say, my expectations were quite high. What I imagined would be an awkward but satisfying discussion turned into an unsatisfying child-parent battle. You didn't understand, and I had no patience. I forgot to consider that it had taken me time to come to terms with this myself, and you deserved at least as much time. Our talk didn't go as I had planned, but I still felt tremendously relieved when it was over. I had taken an important step. There were awkward moments over the next several months. I felt uncomfortable explaining my feelings to you, Dad. But I knew I was very lucky because you are the kind of person who wants to understand. I even resented, at times, that I needed to help "educate" you. I wanted you to magically understand and accept everything! The first Gay Pride Day Parade was a turning point. When you told me that you would be marching in the parade with Parents of Gays, I was matter-of-fact. Somehow, it seemed like a perfectly usual thing for a loving father to do. You had certainly marched for plenty of other good causes over the years! I also remember thinking that, if you marched, I would be obliged to march with you in appreciation. Being newly in love with Annie, and this being my first year in the parade, I was terribly excited-and not so sure if I wanted to share that excitement with you. (It pains me to make these admissions; I thought I was so mature.) I spent the evening before the march with some friends talking about the next day. Their reaction to your marching was what you had probably expected from me. They helped me begin to realize what a special day it would be. The day was truly extraordinary. Thousands of people gathered at the starting point, and Annie and I excitedly searched for Parents of Gays. It didn't take us long to spot you. Immediately I was filled with love, pride, and joy at our togetherness. As we marched up Fifth Avenue, no other organization in the parade was cheered and applauded as strongly. The crowds and television crews realized how special it was. It was exhilarating! Many gay men and lesbians thanked you and the other parents for marching and said they only wished their parents could do the same. I had always taken your love and acceptance for granted and that day helped me develop a much deeper appreciation for you. One of my most treasured possessions is a photograph that was taken that day of the three of us. In that picture, you are holding a sign that says, "We love our gay children." Today I am just a bit wiser and a great deal more aware. Most of all, I am thankful of how lucky I am to know this kind of love. Love, Elizabeth is a hospice "Ii Elizaheth Smith 1:re who h I( New York Cin, I! as lVet!ill OJ' Jor te" yeal'S, F~ stratlons of.a bian Pal1 nt by Judy Cayot Judy Cayot is the director ofa child-care program. She is a healer, a workerfor justice, and sometimes actress and singer. In the summer of 1981, after 10 years of marriage and 5 years as a single parent, I met and fell in love with _a woman who became my first female lover. At that time, my daughters were 12V2 and 9 years old. Their needs have always concerned me as I have "come out" to myself, my family, and others. How are their lives affected by the changes in my life? What have they lost, what have they gained, by having a lesbian mother? How do they, how do we together, deal with the homophobia that is in all our lives? When I first was coming out, I talked with them about my growing understanding of my own sexuality because I felt they deserved clear, honest statements about the nature of my relationship with my lover. I wanted a home without secrets, hidden emotions, or the tensions they create. They needed to know that they could talk with me about their feelings-friendly or ugly-without being judged. And I was excited about my new sense of self and wanted to share my happiness. I let them know whom in the family I had talked to, so they wouldn't have to wonder who knew. I talked to their father to relieve them of the burden of "keeping my secret" when they were with him. Fortunately, we have had acceptance in our family. I know other lesbian mothers who have been threatened with, or have experienced, the loss of custody of their children because of heterosexlst exhusbands and other relatives. Often gay and lesbian parents are not even allowed visitation rights. M. (older daughter) and H. (younger daughter) have responded differently to my being lesbian.* The first year, they both seemed to accept it with little change of attitude or feeling toward me. As M. grew into her teens, she became angry and hurt by my lifestyle. She told me once that she didn't like my lover spending so much time at our house because her friends were asking, "Why is she there so much?" M. did not want to explain. I assured her that when I "came out" to friends, I was scared of their reactions but always ended up being supported by them. Her response was, "But your friends aren't 15." It was true. Being a teenager and being "different" is hard. And, if your mom is different, you are different. Fortunately, as M. is moving into adulthood and becoming clear about her own sexuality, she again is becoming more relaxed and accepting in her relationship with me and my lover/partner. Other problems can face lesbian or gay couples and their children outside of the family circle in general society. We have had to deal with a broad variety of issues that probably confront all lesbian or gay parents and their children: How do churches, schools, and other community agencies relate to families with lesbian or gay parents? Are both parents encouraged to come to parent-teacher conferences? Who can attend the PTA meetings? When my daughter's school has Open House and my lover goes with me, how should she get introduced to the teacher? Is there a support system that sustains families such as ours through tough times? When we all go to church, are we considered a familyencouraged to participate in family events? Who speaks up when children at the day-care center where I work use "fag" and "lessie" as put downs? The schools and churches should understand that these problems are all of ours. The community's educational, counseling, religious, and other service organizations must begin addressing the needs of children of lesbian or gay parents and the heterosexism that creates and contributes to those needs. Children of lesbians or gay men need support, information, and a variety of adult role models. Isolation, i.e., feeling that "we're" the only ones, is, perhaps, the hardest thing. To whom do you talk when nobody talks about homosexuality except to put it down? Knowledge of sexuality in general, including objective information about homosexuality, is sadly lacking for our children. As far as I know, my children had no resources, no frame of reference in which to deal with lesbianism, when I first came out-except a loving family. I am glad my children now have role models who are gay, straight, female, male, single, and "coupled." They learn that there are many ways to relate to others-that differing lifestyles are a healthy part of life. My children and I have been fortunate to have the family and friends that we have. Lesbian and gay parents can't "do it all alone" any more than other parents can. The community must acknowledge the needs of children of lesbians and gay men and create a better, more open flow of information and support for (continued on next page) * I have decided not to include the names ofmy children in this article. I do not wish, at this time, to force them to "come out" as openly as this article would be iftheir names were printed. They need to choose their own times and ways to come out as children ofa lesbian mother. Manna for the .Towney / 9 Joys and Frustrations (continued) these children and their parents. The churches could lead the way in this endeavor. Instead, they seem to be taking gigantic steps backwards into oppressive, legalistic attitudes of a former day. I often consider how my life has affected my daughters. They have lost a certain innocence of childhood where there is no "hard stuff' to deal with. But they also have gained an ability to work through difficult times. H. almost lost a trip to Alaska when she was 10. My sister had arranged for H. to visit her in Anchorage before I came out to her. When I did so, I received a letter from my sister that shocked and surprised me. She considered homosexuality a sin. Although she didn't approve of my lifestyle, she wanted to continue to love me as her sister. I almost didn't let H. go visit her aunt because I was afraid my sister would try to influence H.'s feelings toward me. But, in the end, I trusted my sister's love and common sense and the strength of my relationship with H., and sent her off for a wonderful two-week visit. Very recently, I realized that my daughters and I had all lost something very important (at least for a time). When I came out, I stopped a lot of my communication with my ex-in-laws. I love my children's grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but I let go of them because it was "easier" than coming out to them. I let my connection with them become very distant, and M. and H.'s did also. That was not intentional on my part, but it happened. Their grandmother died recently. It was only then that I realized how much we all had lost over the last five years. How sad that my own internalized homophobia and fear of it in others contributed to that loss. What have my children gained? They have a mother who is happy with herself; a greater openness to dealing with sexuality in general; knowledge that they have choices in life; a better understanding of intolerance and how fear feeds intolerance. A friend asked me, "How do you raise children to be nonhomophobic?" My first response was, "I have no idea." But now, I see clearly, one raises children to be nonhomophobic and nonheterosexist in the same way one raises them to be nonracist and nonsexist. Children must learn first to value themselves; to feel good about whoever they are; to know that they have choices in their lives about work, loving, and relationships. One helps them learn not to be afraid to question, to recognize fear in themselves and to name it. One teaches them to respect others, to appreciate what is similar about us all and that which is different and to celebrate both. Finally, one tries to be and to act according to personal beliefs. Jwant to be honest with myself and with my children. I want to be clear with them about my sexuality and my life choices. Finally, I want them to know that I feel good about who I am and who they are; that it is OK for me to love women and it is also OK for them to struggle with that. I want us to share the joys, pains, frustrations, and victories. That is how we all learn to be more human. Parents FLAG Groups The Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc. (Parents FLAG, or PFLAG), was officially formed in 1981. Groups of parents had been meeting around the country since the first groups of parents met in New York in1973. The primary objective of Parents FLAG is "to help parents and their Gay children to understand and love one another, and to offer mutual support wherever it is needed." (from "About Our Children," p. 12) Although parents of gay men and lesbians comprise most of the members of Parents FLAG, other relatives, friends, gay men, and lesbians are active members. There are 65 Parent FLAG groups in the country (at least one in every state), and many single contacts in areas where there are not groups. These groups and individuals help each other learn about the concerns and needs of their gay children and friends. Rap groups are held across the country, and many of the local groups sponsor a crisis phone line. Parents FLAG is available to furnish speakers for organizational events and has a thorough list of resources on gay and lesbian issues. National Convention A national convention of Parents FLAG is held once a year. These conventions are held in different locations across the country. The next Parents FLAG convention will be September 19-21, 1986, in Portland, Oregon. This event will provide a place for networking, support, and education. Workshop topics at the event will include religion, AIDS, coming out to families, youth groups, and much more. For more information, contact the Parents FLAG national office (listed below) or the convention chairperson, Thelma, at 503-223-5293. Starting a PFLAG Group One of the primary objectives of Parents FLAG is to enable more local groups to be formed. Parents FLAG has sent mailings to such diverse groups as university dorm directors, nursing schools, and 90,000 local churches across the United States. (Included in this church mailing were a large number of United Methodist congregations.) Local churches can be an important catalyst for the beginnings of support and caring for parents and friends of lesbians and gay men. Several of the Parents FLAG groups have been started by clergy who have a gay or lesbian child. Each congregation, whether or not it knows it, has members who are friends and families of gay men and lesbians. Ministry to these members could be the beginning of reconciliation within families and within your church. Contact the national office of Parents FLAG (address is listed below) for information on how you can start a local group. For More Information For information about parents' groups and contacts, you may write either the Reconciling Congregation Program or the natiopal office of Parents FLAG. Two free booklets, "About Our Children" and "Coming Out to Your Parents," are available from Parents FLAG. Send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Parents FLAG P.O. Box 24565 Los Angeles, CA 90024 10/ A-fallna for the JOUl7ley by Mike Underhill Mike Underhill is the national treasurer ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. He is the father ofa nine-year-old daughter and lives in Chicago, fl/inois. "yougay fathers are strange. You've got one foot in the straight community and one foot in the gay world. You must be crazy," a usually understanding friend recently told me. While I know my friend genuinely supports civil rights for all, his comment certainly shows the ignorance, if not the hostility, that surrounds the 10 percent of gay men who are fathers and the much larger percentage of gay men who are involved in nurturing relationships with children. While one would expect hostility from homophobic persons, I am struck by the lack of understanding that comes from within the gay community as well as from gay fathers' friends who support many other areas of gay life. Several years ago, for example, our local Affirmation group went out on a Sunday outing to the zoo. That day half of the men in the group were fathers. The day itself was beautiful, the first warm day of spring, and the zoo was overflowing. Kids continually ran through and around us. All was well until one of our group was bumped and almost knocked down. As he yelled out to the running child, he indignantly remarked, "Well, at least we don't have kids like those breeders do!" This lack of understanding pervades many images of gay men. There are many different positive views of the "gay lifestyle." You'll look long and hard, however, to find many images in which children and nurturing are thought-by the general gay male community or society at large-to be important parts ora gay man's life. Gay fathers and gay men who want to be nurturing pay a price for this ignorance. But the real victims are the thousands and thousands of children who are denied their rights to love and be loved by their fathers and the millions of children who are prevented from having nurturing, productive relationships with adult gay men. There are many reasons why all men, both gay and straight, are discouraged from having nurturing relationships with children. But there are two beliefs, I think, that directly contribute to the particular ignorance and hostility about gay men nurturing children: • A belief that gay fathers just don't legitimately exist. • A belief that a male homosexual environment is an inherently suspicious one in which to raise children. These concerns primarily face gay fathers, but they may also have some relevance for gay men who are nurturing children as day-care workers, teachers, counselors, clergy, or social workers. In addition, some of the issues discussed here parallel the concerns of lesbian mothers; others probably do not. (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 11 Nurturing Children (continued) . Heterosexism Both gay and straight communities often see a gay father's children as "mistakes" or as remnants of a heterosexual past. Similarly, many see a gay man's desire to adopt children as a refusal to accept his homosexuality or as a desire to become "respectable." The implication is that, if all were properly sorted out, gay fathers just wouldn't exist. Fathering would be left to the heterosexual men, and the gay men could get on with their interior decorating, choir directing, or other "suitable" homosexual activities. The assumptions, I think, are that homosexual persons and children don't "naturally" go together and that heterosexual persons have a privileged claim to children. As such, this view is yet another manifestation of heterosexism. Conceiving children is so intimately connected with males and females together that it may be difficult to see that raising children has little connection with the sexual preferences of adult men or women. Conception requires that an ovum and a sperm come together. But the biological facts of conception require neither heterosexual love or heterosexual nurturing. In our more honest moments, we know this to be true. How many children are conceived, in the absence of love, as an attempt to "save" a marriage? How many children are conceived with the conscious desire of only one of the sexual partners? How many heterosexual parents are good nurturers? Desiring to have children, wanting to nurture children, enjoying being with kids-these are simply human desires, having little or nothing to do with an adult's sexual orientation. Whether two gay men can biologically produce a child is as irrelevant for their desire and ability to raise children as it is for the heterosexual couple in which one spouse is sterile. Homophobia and Patriarchy It has long been asserted by many persons that a gay male environment simply is not a good one in which to raise children. On one level, this belief reflects a particular distaste that is often accorded to gay culture. Heterosexual intercourse is praised as a gift of God; gay sex is judged to be disgusting. Lonely-heart ads in a straight newspaper are seen as funny or sad; personal ads in a gay newspaper are said to be desperate or sick. Heterosexual pornography is seen as offensive; homosexual porn is seen as repulsive. On another level, this belief touches deep strains in our collective psyche. The root, I think, is a fear of male power in general and male sexuality in particular. In a patriarchal system, such as ours traditionally has been, men commonly understand themselves to be unreliable, if not incapable, of controlling their sexuality and their desire for power. Patriarchy thus absolves males of responsibility for controlling their aggressiveness. As a corollary, women are held responsible for trying to civilize or tame this otherwise unbridled male power. The home of the family, then, is that space in which the female presence makes possible a nurturing environment suitable for children. But what happens in an environment in which women are not intimately present? Who will protect the children from the men? How can we not be suspicious about raising children in a gay environment? From all that we know about male power and male sexuality, these are valid questions. Some men certainly use all relationships, including those with children, as an arena in which to demonstrate and develop their male power. Some men abuse-cruelly and deliberately, psychologically and sexually-children. Whether based on cultural judgment or patriarchal fear, the view that gay men-either because of their gayness or because of their maleness-should not raise children probably does include sincere concern for children. Still, we should be very careful not to let concern for the well-being of children be translated into a blanket homophobic judgment about the unsuitability of any gay male environment for raising children. Struggle Heterosexism, homophobia, and patriarchy certainly provide many rationalizations why gay fathers cannot be legitimate and why gay men should not be allowed nurturing relationships with children. Our task as people of faith, however, is to struggle with these traditions, bringing to bear all that experience, reason, and scripture have to offer. From the above starting points, we can explore other resources in an ongoing discussion and reflection. One resource is contemporary research about gay and lesbian parenting. Again and again, this research finds that (1) what's important for a child's development is the quality of love and care that an adult is able to give the child and (2) the more accepted and supported a gay or lesbian parent is, the more he or she is able to give love and care to the child. Another reason is simply the experience of gay men who are already nurturing children in most communities throughout the country. These men and their children provide real-life data against which the beliefs of heterosexism and homophobia can be examined. Again and again, children teach us that one man's falling in love with another man is just not as critical in their lives as it is in ours as adults. Heterosexism and homophobia are grown-up ways ofviewing the world. A child's problems are "Is Daddy there?," "Do Mommy and Daddy really love me?," or "Why?" Especially for those of us who have had many years' experience in believing that homosexuality is evil, sinful, and sick, it is an unexpected lesson that what has taken us so long to see is something that children intuitively know. And learning from children is profoundly healing and liberating. Gay fathers don't have to be role models so that their children will easily adapt to a sexist and homophobic society. They don't have to be in control. They don't have to measure their success by patriarchal standards. Gay fathers can be themselves-as butch, as effeminate, as silly, as serious, and as gay as God made them. Their children will still be strong and healthy, loved and loving, with as many glories and as many warts as any children. And our children will love us for who we are. 12 / Malllla for [he lOUlney 1 Any two adults who try to share the same living space will inevitably experience some conflict and disagreement. Sometimes, if those individuals are to maintain an ongoing, committed relationship, outside help may help them resolve some ofthe issues that are especially complex. Such seeking of outside help should not be seen as indicating any sort of failure in the relationship; rather, a willingness on the part of both partners to work toward a more mutually satisfying relationship is actually a sign of considerable strength. Couple counseling is readily available for heterosexual married couples. Same-sex couples or heterosexual couples who are living together without a marriage license face many of the same issues as their legally married counterparts; however, counseling for these couples is not as easily available. For same-sex couples, especially, it is often intimidating to look for a counselor who is understanding of lesbian/gay lifestyles as well as skilled in working with couples. Although the basic patterns of relationships are the same regardless ofthe gender ofthe individuals involved, there are issues that must be considered somewhat differently with lesbian or gay couples. For most same-sex couples, the specific details regarding commitment have never been discussed, yet each partner brings a lifetime of assumptions about how relationships and commitments are supposed to be. These rules about commitment usually have not been examined carefully in dialogue with the partner. The same problem exists for married couples who use the standard marriage vows without stopping to think about their real meaning and specific applications. Lesbian or gay couples who decide to have some sort of commitment ceremony are forced to struggle with the issue of commitment as they write their vows. This process of putting in writing the specific understanding of commitment can be difficult, but it also can Counseling with Gayand Lesbian Couples by Dorothy Gager Dorothy Gager is a licensed independent practitioner of social work with considerable experience in counseling lesbians and gay men. She is a member ofNashville's Edgehill United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. be one of the most useful tools in helping couples come to grips with the foundation upon which their relationship is established. Even if a couple is not interested in any sort of public statement of the terms of the relationship, it can be extremely helpful to have each person independently write what he or she is willing to commit to in the relationship. Only after each person has developed a statement of his or her own should the partners share these statements with each other. Ifeach person has been honest, the process of looking at the other person's perceptions about relationships can lead to the formulation of a common agreement that can be used as the starting point at any time in the future when problems arise. Closely linked to the issue of differing understandings of commitment is the issue of roles within the relationship. Despite tremendous changes in the understanding of sex roles in recent years, the basic assumptions about male and female roles within relationships serve as a point ofdeparture for most couples in deciding such varying issues as who sets standards for household cleanliness, who checks the oil in the car, who manages the budget, and who initiates sexual activity. Once again, people come to relationships with deep-seated assumptions about who should perform which tasks, and these need to be brought into the open and negotiated. In some lesbian and gay relationships, the individuals choose to follow strictly the traditional roles, with one person taking the stereotypical male role and the other taking the female role. It is important not to jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with this arrangement. If both individuals are aware that other alternatives exist, and if neither feels dissatisfied or oppressed by the way the relationship operates, the pattern may be functional for that relationship at a particular time. As long as communication lines are open and functioning well and each individual is able to raise matters for discussion, the couple should be (continued on next page) Malllla for the Joumey / 13 orientation. One partner may be Counseling (continued) Other grief issues are often presextremely closeted with family ent, especially in instances where able to deal with any future difficulties in a satisfactory manner. there is estrangement from the members, meaning that the partfamily of origin or where society's ners never can be together on One of the major factors affecting reaction to the lesbian/gay lifestyle holidays or that the other partner may resent time spent with family. the stability of long-term lesbian or has meant the abandonment of gay relationships is the relative ease career or other dreams. When one When one or both partners has children, all of the problems faced or both partners in a couple bring with which such relationships can by any blended family exist, plus a to a new relationship such major be initiated and terminated. This is wide array of issues such as legal grief issues, increased support is not to imply that entering or leaving custody, decisions about what to necessary if the relationship is to relationships is taken lightly. It is tell the children, and societal presgrow in a healthy way while the true, however, that many married sure on the children.· It is imporpast issues are being resolved. couples work through problems tant to note that research shows that rather than separating largely bechildren reared in lesbian or gay For many lesbian or gay couples, cause they desire to avoid the legal households adjust well if they are there may be no role models of divorce process. The institution of healthy couples that have mainin a family where they know they marriage in our society certainly tained a long-term relationship. are loved by both adults and where has its problems, but it does have the adults relate well to each other. Such couples certainly do exist, but clear entry and exit rituals and Such children are no more likely to they usually associate primarily rules that are binding on the parties be lesbian or gay than children with friends their own age who are involved. also in long-term relationships. reared in more conventional Lesbian or gay relationships They may be less visible within the households. may become coupled relationships lesbian/gay community because of without going through any conNone of the issues discussed scious process of acknowledging having successfully created their above are unique to lesbian or own subcommunity of support. what is happening. Two individuals gay relationships and families, but Younger lesbians and gay men tend who have been seeing each other they do take on a slightly different to socialize and meet people in setregularly may decide to move in flavor in such couples. Each coutings where most people are not in together because someone's lease ple, regardless of the gender of its expires or because of financial relationships, and they may make members, struggles with the same the faulty assumption that there are stress. While these are legitimate general issues, and each couple no other settings or types of relareasons for a change in living quartionships. Further complicating achieves its own unique balance in ters, they are not necessarily legimeeting the needs of both partners. this problem can be the fact that timate reasons for deciding to enter In a society where divorce and older lesbians and gay men in longa long-term relationship. The result separation are facts of life. it makes may be that two people find themterm relationships are often well sense for anyone entering into a established in their jobs and feel selves living together and trying to the need to be closeted-or at least long-term relationship to be aware maintain a committed relationship of the difficulties ahead and to to be more selective about where without having made a careful make some plan about where help decision that they want to do so. If they choose not to be closetedwill be sought if the need arises. the relationship does not work out, and are therefore not visible as role Receiving counseling, whether inmodels. It is helpful for lesbians they may tell themselves that they and gay men to know about couples dividually or as a couple, should be have failed or they may take consuch as Dell Martin and Phyllis seen as a sign of growth and comsolation in the popular (but not Lyon, lesbian social activists since mitment, not as a sign of failure or necessarily correct) view that lesdoom. Because of the additional bians and gay men cannot mainthe 1950s and co-authors of Lesbian/ Woman, and the four gay male societal pressures on lesbian and tain long-term relationships. gay couples, they have even more couples who write a regular column There seems to be less understandin The Afhocate (a national gay reasons for entering relationships ing in the lesbian/gay culture ofthe newspaper) about various relationwith caution, with open comgrief process and the need for a ship issues and experiences. munication and assumptions and period of mourning and healing expectations, and with examinaafter the end of a relationship. Too tion of the specific terms of comWhile relationships withfamilies of often, individuals immediately seek origin can be problemmatic for any mitment, as well as with joy in another relationship without ever couple, there are special stresses for having found a partner to serve as a resolving the grief over previous fellow pilgrim on the lifelong jourlesbian or gay couples, especially losses. The result is a person with ney called relationship. when the two individuals have very multiple grief wounds, lacking the different relationships with their emotional energy to deal sucfamilies. It is not uncommon for *See the articles by Judy Cayot and Mike cessfully with the present or the f~milies to blame the partner for Underhill in this issue for more discussion of past. lesbian and gay parenting. their son's or daughter's sexual 14 / Manna for the Joumey Qat::ed Mered eth Fred Methered is a retired teacher. gay activist, counselor, and historian. He is a founder of the Sexual Identity Center in Honolulu and is active in the Metropolitan Community Church and in the United Methodist Church. He is the father of three children and the grandfather offour. M any gay men and lesbians have come to an acknowledgement of their homosexuality only after years of struggling with self and society to get the fortitude, commitment, or whatever to be open about an integral part of who they are as human beings-something of which they may have been aware, in various degrees of consciousness, since their earliest years. I know from personal experience how difficult and painful it can be to "come out" as a homosexual while belonging to a church family in which one has been active from earliest youth and while also belonging to a bloodrelated family (in my case, having a wife and three grown children). It takes God's urging, support, and help. From my earliest consciousness, I wanted to hug boys, not girls, but did not act on the desire. I didn't know why boys didn't hug boys-boys just didn't. I never had even an inkling that it might be possible for a loving Creator to give some of humanity a sexual attraction toward persons of the same gender. My father died when I was a teenager, and I had no adult male confidant. I was introverted and seldom got into the supposedly unavoidable sexinformation exchanges with peers. I have no recollection of even a hint of being cruised by an older male. Nor do I recall ever being tempted to invite seduction. Sex education was nonexistent. By the time I was high school age, we students had been indoctrinated with the assurance that "self-abuse" automatically resulted in hairy, coarse, and abrasive palms. I was left to wonder why I alone managed to avoid that calamity or whether other boys simply forwent the pleasure I could not resist. Later, in college psychology courses, we might find a couple of pages on "deviation," phrased in terms likely to titillate more than inform. No one risked suspicion or embarrassment by showing interest in explicit elucidation. After I had received undergraduate and graduate degrees in history and religion, 1 became a teacher and student counselor until World War II. Stationed in the Philippines when the war ended, I gravitated to Japan where, in response to recruitment drives for civilian workers on the U.S Occupation force, I doffed my uniform for civilian wear, becoming a military historian. There I met, in an approved social group of "enemy aliens," a young Japanese woman who enjoyed dancing as much as I did and whose aunt found me to be an acceptable guest. With my facing frequent jibes for reaching 30 without having a wife and children, my Japanese girlfriend and I ignored Occupation frowns and married. Eventually, we moved, with two sons and a daughter, to Hawaii. Middle age came and, with diminishing straight sexual competence, I became more and more aware of the repressed attraction I felt for males. I knew no homosexuals, and, anyway, overt outreach to another male was unthinkable. My fantasies remained limited to hugging and/or fondling-and definitely without genital play. I began intensive research on human sexuality and biblical exegesis. I learned that sexual orientation was not a matter of individual choice and, undoubtedly, was ineradicably fixed during a person's earliest years. I recalled that God never ended the creation process, continuing to bring new insights to human creation. I noted that Isaiah's Yahweh had told God's people not to dwell on past history and that "I am doing a new deed" and that later Jesus was sent to expound even greater concepts of love for all human creation. I learned that no concept of differing sexual orientations had been made known by the Creator to humanity until glimmerings were given to some European scholars in the middle and late 1800s. I learned that, for that reason and because no equivalent to homosexual existed in Hebrew, Greek, or Latin, none of the words in those languages could correctly or ethically be translated into the emerging English word homosexual. Self acknowledgement of my homosexuality came with the enlightening conviction that I did not need to engage in sex with another male to prove that I was indeed a homosexual. I just was and always had been a homosexual, even though I was married, fathered children, and passed middle age without having knowingly spoken to another homosexual. My mind knew all that; my conscience and God's needling called on me to be honest with my family, my church, and, above all, my God and myself. While that demand grew constantly more clamorous, I prayed and procrastinated. In 1969, the Stonewall Riots suddenly catapulted homosexuality into public consciousness. I saw young men and women risking schooling, careers, even lives in seeking human rights protections for homosexuals. Fairly secure myself, I was letting those younger homosexuals suffer for me. I felt God's (continued on next page) Manila for the .Ioumey / 15 Out--:-At Last (continued) increased pressure to share the risks, yet I continued to weasel. As a member of my annual conference's Council on Ministries and its Adult Ministries Committee, I did, at least, cautiously begin speaking out in United Methodist circles, carefully avoiding giveaways about any personal interest. In addition, after I retired in 1972, I got heavily involved in volunteer counseling and began to hear about homosexuals in Hawaii. At a Council of Churches meeting, I met a young man who was forming a Honolulu Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) congregation. He was the first person I knew to be a homosexual with whom I exchanged more than a hello. I asked to talk to him about what I could do for those "mistreated" homosexuals. Although Ron surely knew that I was peeking from behind a closed closet door, he was kind, made no spoken assumptions, spoke about conditions among homosexuals, and invited me to attend MCC services. God's prodding increased, and I agonized about acknowledgement. I was aware of the evils of homophobia, and I knew my Christian faith expected me to condemn such fear and prejudice. I continued to pray for guidance and, meanwhile, intensified my commitment to serve gay youth. I saw the pain the youth endured and the rejections they suffered; I saw estrangement from parents and alienation from religious loyalties; I saw bitterness and the wounding of inner selves. My prayers turned to pleas for leads as to how I could best help. It was obvious that my effectiveness would be increased if I were accepted as one of "them." I integrated myself into the homosexual community, a step that proved rewarding and joyful. However, the suicide, within eight months, of three young men who had been very close to me stirred a crushing grief and, with it, a boundless anger against church members who maliciously charged young men with unforgivable sin and against parents who closed their doors on their sons. Iffine, sensitive 20-year-olds were driven to die because of a sexual orienation given by God, then God no longer accepted wishy-washiness from me. God demanded that I, fairly immune from personal hurts, be completely open about my own sexual orientation so that, hopefully, I might be more helpful to others who suffered more than I. Finally, my procrastination withered. Iwas exceptionally fortunate and blessed with my family. The roughest time for my wife and me had come years before I "came out," when I ceased to be an adequate sexual mate. I returned to masturbation and fantasy, and my wife, without any heavy discussions, appeared to find other values as substitutes for sexual companionship. By the time I "came out," we were socializing together more than we had 20 years earlier. Our children were by then young adults, and the two oldest lived far from home after being graduated from mainland colleges. When I wrote to them about my sexual orientation and my commitment to fight for human rights for gay persons, my older son responded that, regardless of the kind of commitment I felt called upon to make, he would always back me, taking the choice to be right for me. My daughter's reaction was short: "That big news, Dad, is no big deal. It's OK with us, and we love you." My younger son, recently graduated from college, lived in Hawaii, and his reaction was much like that of his sister. That last reaction was illustrated by an amusing occurrence. I was eager to "educate" my fellow United Methodists, and I wangled an invitation to meet with a group at First UMC, Honolulu, which we had attended for 20 years. My son, then the church's lay leader, introduced me to the group by saying, "This is my Dad, who knows all about sex." I talked about homosexuality and answered questions. Something was said that caused me to say, "Look, folks, I am a homosexual and have been a homosexual ever since birth." After some of the people had recovered from their initial shock, questioning turned to my son. Asked how he had reacted to the "news," he said that he had been taught to think of human beings as being worthy and good as long as they didn't hurt others. Then: "But, Bob, how did you find out that your Dad was gay?" Answer: "Well, I think that I knew it before he did." And that may have been true if the "he did" was "he accepted it." My wife has met most of my gay friends-often counselees or fellow activists, almost all the age of our children or younger. Some she likes very much, some just a little, and some not at all-especially very young fellows who are "hurting" so much that they appear to her to be "wimps," too weak to stand up to parents and peers. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, "Set yourself earnestly to discover what you are made to do, and then give yourself passionately to the doing of it." God had uncovered to me, over my reticence, wha~ I had to do, and I pledged that, as long as God gave me life, I would work, in every way I could, to bring about the acceptance-not toleration, but acceptanceof gay men and lesbians. I would not rest until we could all sit in complete and loving fellowship in the pews where we had received our early religious nurture, where we had wanted to remain but from which we had been alienated. I would also strive for the day when we could feel the same full acceptance by society as a whole. My family accepted that commitment of mine, and my appreciation for their support knows no bounds. AhosPitalization two years ago forced me to live my life at a much slower pace. Nevertheless, I am continuing my efforts to the best of my ability. I know now that I am doing what a loving, compassionate God wants me to do. My life is more open, more honest, more compassionate, and much happier than it ever was when I was concealing so inherent a part of my humanness. I am at peace with my God and myself. I am no longer afraid, ever, to speak out. 16/Malina for the Journey Martha Rutland· Wallis is the pastor of Highlands United Methodist Church in Jack· sonville. Florida. Every Sunday, as part of our gathering, my congregation sings, "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God." What are some ways in which local churches can begin to make this song sing in the lives of all the members of our family-including lesbians, gay men, and those close to them, such as their parents, siblings, and children? Focusing on the statement in the United Methodist Social Principles-that we are all persons of sacred worth-a church family could minister to some of the deepest pastoral needs of this constituency simply by acknowledging and affirming their presence. Instead of operating on the assumption that no such folk are in our churches, we could assume that they are among us and begin to find ways to extend a warm welcome. • Consider becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Reconciling Congregations are those who are dealing with a grave crisis in the United Methodist Church in such a way that we are again "one in the spirit." We can all learn from these congregations and be made more whole through their ministries. • Give a friend, your church library, your conference library and newspaper editor, the United Methodist Women's program resource officer, or your public library a gift (continued on next page) Manna for the Joumey / 17 (and of single, heterosexual partimes there are basic needs like Opportunities (continued) ents). With relatives often distant sheets, housing, housewares. As subscription to Manna for the with any serious health crisis, either by miles or by choice, how is Journey. volunteers to answer phones, proyour church seeking to be "family" to these parents? What kind of care vide transportation, shop, and lis• Mfinnation is another chanis extended to lesbian and gay ten are always appreciated. nel of welcome. Being "United parents and their children when The church can do much to Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Conthere are family crises: sickness, cerns," this organization can keep educate people about the probdeath, job change, and the constant local churches aware of the conlems and possibilities for our bepressure of children who need all coming a more caring community cerns of these members of our their families to give, and more? to those most personally touched family. Subscribe to national MfirWhile our United Methodist mation's newsletter for your church by AIDS. Social Principles clearly support library; announce its availability, Too many times parents of lesthe civil rights of homosexual peror post it on the bulletin board bians and gay men have no one sons, sustaining the struggle to regularly.* Put notices about nawith whom to talk about their conobtain and protect those rights is tional and local Mfinnation-sponfusion and their pain. These parnecessary for the rights to become a sored conferences in regular church ents are in our church families. reality. "Blessed are the poor in newsletters-so that those who Find out where the nearest Parents spirit for yours is the realm ofGod." might be interested find out about and Friends of Lesbians and Gays The influence of the church can be them; and so that those who would (PFLAG) chapter is located. Have of great help to those suffering job someone come and share their rather not know about the existence loss and discrimination, child cusstory with members of your church. of these members of our family are tody disputes, housing and credit Make the resources of this organikept informed of their presence as problems, immigration scrutiny, well. zation available in your church lithe constant presence ofverbal and ,brary. Maybe even start a chapter Such avenues are not open only physical violence, and the spiritual so that fewer parents will be lost to United Methodists. No matter pain of being outcast by family what the denomination of your and more friends may be found. and church. local church, you can contact the Many times a family will simply In many areas, the church has national lesbian/gay organization drop away from the church rather traditionally been a leader in matof your denomination. Programs than share this difficult part oftheir ters of justice. Unfortunately, this like the Reconciling Congregation life journey, especially when our often has not been the case when it Program are also sponsored by church is more vocal about its fear came to the rights of lesbians and and hostility than it is about its Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay gay men. People are leaving our Concerns and Lutherans Concommitment to care and reconcerned (see Rep Report, p. 22,). churches in great pain and are sufcile. fering intense spiritual pain with Sex education needs tremenThe fiist step in developing a few resources to help them. Let the dous attention and support by our ministry with lesbians, gay men, churches. Too often this critically healing and renewing wind of the and their biological and affectional spirit blow by opening some doors important aspect of our lives is left families is to find out what organof awareness in your church. to the streets. Become aware of izations are already serving these what your annual conference is people in your . community, how Let us be guided by the example doing to pn>mote thought and they are doing this, and what needs dialogue about how to live responof Jesus. The tax collectors they are encountering. The best and peasants whom he made the sibly as the sexual beings we are. ministries will be ministries develTake advantage of these programs focus of his ministry were among oped with and by the constituency and make them available on a local the most despised and outcast served. We cannot serve the elderly, level so that more people are able to citizens of his day. Jesus came that the alcoholic, the youth without they might know the love of God. participate. involving those persons in the Help your church extend the love ministry itself. The same is true of of God to all its members. Begin Another oft-neglected conserving homosexual persons. stituency in our churches is now to offer some basic love and Special needs may exist surthe children. Church meetings care to a constituency you may not rounding the current AIDS crisis, often ignore the need for child care even know but which has always which is challenging the caring reand the need for pro gam developbeen here-and is here to stay. sources of our churches. Who curMter all, when we turn anyone ment for children. Lesbian and gay rently serves those suffering in your parents-whether they be "single" away, we turn away the living community? How do personal fears or in couples-may find that supChrist. exacerbate the problems? Are pubport for their child-raising is critlic health resources availableically needed, yet hard to obtain. *Published quarterly. Send a $15 donhospice, nursing homes, funeral Parenting resources usually ignore ation to Mfirmation, P.O. Box 1021; homes, home nursing care? Many Evanston, IL 60204. the presence of lesbian/gay parents 18 / Manna for the Journey The Day of Pentecost, traditionally observed seven weeks after the Passover, was the celebration of _the day on which the Hebrew law was given. For Christian traditions, Pentecost represents the day that the Holy Spirit came in a rush of wind and fire, filling the followers of Jesus with a gift of speaking in every tongue and telling the Good News. (Acts 2) Surprised pilgrims from all over the earth heard the Good News in their own languages. (Some call the event of Pentecost the reverse of the Tower of Babel.) The day of Pentecost was the birth of the Christian church. Pentecost today calls ~s back to a wholeness and oneness that has been lost. The church today is divided by fear and hate. May this Pentecost be one in which all may hear the Good News that all are one in God. Let the church be a Church of justice and love, opening its doors to gay and lesbian and bisexual persons, to people of color, to variously abled persons, to women and men. Let the church be rebaptized in the Holy Spirit. Celebrating Pentecost as a Household Begin to incorporate worship celebrations into your daily household life. Use symbols to help you remember the season of the year. Have worship celebrations that fit your household style. Informal conversations, sentence prayers, responsive readings, and justice activities can all be instances of worship. Talk about the meaning of Pentecost for your household. What does it mean to celebrate the birthday of the church? How can your celebration reflect the church's mission of love and justice for all people? Talk to someone you know who is working for justice and ask them why they do what they do. Decide together on an activity to do as a household. Help serve in a soup kitchen, get involved with a network that is helping those with AIDS, join a Parents FLAG group. Have a special birthday service at one of your meals. Decorate your table with red, the color of Pentecost. Light a candle to remind you of the Holy Spirit. Have a time of sharing in which each person tells what they will do to help celebrate the birthday of the church. Close your time together by reading the Pentecost liturgy on the next page. Divide the reading, and let different people read different parts. .... _"No. No, not me." Denial. Denial of his Lord, yes, but just as much, denial of his relationships, his connectedness, his "Who am I?" Fifty days later. the Spirit of God blew through his life and Peter claimed his truth, his people, his life, and his power. God calling, always, Pentecostal Empowerment to those who will claim themselves and speak to an unjust orId. to cry, hLet my people gor' The Spirit upon Miriam to lead the dance of faith and power. The Spirit upon Gandhi to leave English ways for Indian leadership. The Spirit came upon Joan of Arc and Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman and Cesar Chavez, Bishop Desmond Tutu and Reverend Michael Collins. The Spirit, God's Spirit crying out in the wilderness of oppression, calling forth those who will know who they are. Pentecost The everpresent day receiving the gift of the Spirit flinging open closed doors and opening the way for Nebraska Seminar Advocates Reconciling Congregation Program The year-long planning effort culminated in this gathering of 60 persons from four states representing several denominations. In many ministry to persons with AIDS. On the national church level, the United Methodist General Board of Discipleship unanimously endorsed What is a Reconciling Congregaways, the conference was a model of the following resolution in their Febtion? How could my local church how a group can plan an educational ruary meeting: become a Reconciling Congregaand nurturing event for a geographi" During the past seven years, tion? How can I be a "reconciler" cally scattered people who share a within many parts of the world, a with a concern that is so personal common concern for the spiritual new ugly, and dangerous disease and so emotionally divisive? These journey of gay, lesbian, and bisexual called AIDS (Acquired Immune and other questions were addressed persons. Deficiency Syndrome) has appeared. by participants at "Spirituality and To date, the health consequences for Homosexuality: A Dialogue Conthose who contract the disease are ference," held in Lincoln, Nebraska, February 28 and March l. As part of the conference Beth Growing Concern for Ministry to Persons with AIDS devastating. Most frequently, it ends in death. Also running coincident with this epidemic is a psychological Richardson and Mark Bowman led After several years of national crisis for family members and loved 30 participants in a workshop on the media coverage and public concern ones as well as for those at risk for Reconciling Congregation Program over AIDS, mainline churches are the disease. through discussion of the steps of growing more actively involved in "We, the Board of Discipleship of becoming a Reconciling Congregaeducation about and ministry with the United Methodist Church, recogtion. "Every local church is a poten, persons with AIDS. nize that in the midst of this epidemtial Reconciling Congregation" was Within the United Methodist ic, we are called to accept people as a major point of the workshop. ParChurch, several Reconciling Conthey are, relate them to God's healticipants looked at their own local gregations have been in the forefront ing grace, and empower them to churches through the perspective of of this development. The ministry of undertake ministries of compassion the journey toward becoming a bereavement at Washington Square and hope. We applaud those local Reconciling Congregation, recognizUMC (New York) was reported in United Methodist Churches who ing that for some congregations it Manna for the Journey (MFIJ), vol. 2, have already undertaken such minmight take I year and, for others, 20 no. 2. The same issue ofM FIJ reportistries on our behalf. We also confess years. Discussions covered both the ed the resolution "AIDS and the that we as a total church have not theological/biblical framework for Ministry of the Church," which was always responded lovingly in the the program and the practical steps passed by the New York Annual midst of this epidemic in part of implementing it. Participants Confere nce of the UMC last spring. because of deeply held fears and departed with enthusiasm and hope Members of Washington Square prejudices. We ask God's forgiveness for beginning work on becoming a followed up that resolution by workin this regard. Reconciling Congregation in several ing with the Conference Board of "We commend to all United area local churches. Church and Society to plan a Methodist Churches this tragic situThe refreshing presupposition conference-wide workshop which ation as a unique opportunity for that pervaded the whole conference was held on March 22. The conministry and witness. We also comwas to focus on the church's relationference drew 75 participants to share mit ourselves to assembling resources ship to the spiritual journeys of gay, information and learn more about and guidelines to enable local lesbian, and bisexual Christians AIDS ministry in the United Methochurches to engage in such ministry. rather than on the morality of homodist Church. Such work will be carried out by sexuality. Other workshops offered We have also received reports means of a special ad hoc task force to the attendees of the two-day confrom Bethany UMC (San Francisco) appointed by the Board's president, ference were: biblical/theological on their ministry to persons with who will work in conjuction with the understandings, counseling issues, AI DS. Capitol Hill UMC (Seattle) Board's Executive Council." the church and AIDS, coming out/ and St. John's UMC (Baltimore) going out, and family issues. The have been involved in educational keynote address was given by United Methodist Bishop Melvin Wheatley. efforts on AI DS. Several other Reconciling Congregations are developPresbyterian Gathering The conference was the collaboring programs. Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay ative effort of an interdenominaAnother positive sign of growing Concerns (PLGC) will be visible tional body of concerned laity and church involvement is that at least again this summer at the annual clergy under the auspices of the three United Methodist clergy are General Assembly of the Pres- Interchurch Ministries of Nebraska. appointed to positions involving (continued on next page) M allllafor the Journey /2 J I several articles explore discriminaeral Assembly will be held June byterian Church (U.S.A.). The Genchures describing the Reconciling tion and oppression experienced by 10-18 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Congregation Program, as well as lesbians and gay men, and relevant PLGC will have an exhibition booth subscription forms and sample copies legislation and litigation is reviewed. and hospitality suite during the of Manna for the Journey, were availBack issues ofManna for the Jourgathering. They will also hold their able. ney are available for $3 each. Any of annual membership meeting on We would encourage you to think the above resources can be obtained Friday evening, June 13, and sponsor about how you or your local church by writing: Reconciling Congregaa special luncheon the following could help others learn more about tion Program, P.O. Box 24213, NashSaturday afternoon. For information our collective efforts at your annual ville, TN 37202 or Manna for the about participating in or assisting conference gathering coming up Journey, P.O. Box 23636, Washingwith these efforts, write to: PLGC, soon. If you need resources for this ton, DC 20026. c/o James Anderson, P.O. Box 38, endeavor, you can write to either the Reconciling Congregation Program New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. or Manna for the Journey, or call Beth Richardson (615/244-0867) or Mark Bowman (202/484-1233). Your efforts to help promote our Annual Conferences Offer an work are crucial! Opportunity to Promote Reconciling Congregation Program and Manna for the Journey Resources Available The annual gatherings of United Remember that several resources Methodists offer a rich opportunity are available to you on the Reconcilfor spreading the good news about ing Congregation Program and the Reconciling Congregation ProMannafor the Journey. A revised RCP gram. brochure and a four-page paper, As one example, last year Wal" How to Become a Reconciling Conlingford UMC and Capitol HillUMC gregation," are available at no (both in Seattle) hosted a special dincharge. ner meeting during the Pacific Limited numbers of back issues Northwest Annual Conference gathof Manna for the Journey are also ering. A separate room was reserved available: in advance just off the conference "Be Ye Reconciled" (vol.l, no.l) cafeteria. Announcements of the Ecumenical Efforts provides a biblical and theological meeting were disseminated in the foundation for the Reconciling ConTwo other denominations have early days of the conference gregation Program with articles by similar programs to the Reconciling At the meeting, several represenDr. Joseph Weber, Rev. Virginia Congregation Program in which tatives from both Reconciling ConHilton, and Howard and Millie local churches show their support gregations were present to discuss Eychaner. A six-page annotated for and welcome to lesbians and gay and answer questions about the bibliography on resources related to men. In the Presbyterian Church Reconciling Congregation Program. lesbian/gay concerns and the church (U.S.A.), there are "More Light ConThe pastor, chair of the Administrais included. gregations" and in the Lutheran tive Council, and other persons from "Living and Dying with AIDS" Church, there are congregations each church spoke of the process of which are "Reconciled in Christ." becoming a Reconciling Congrega( vol.1, no.2) explores opportunities for ministry to persons with AIDS. We offer a brief profile of these two tion-the change and growth as well Articles include a medical presentaprograms and a listing of conas the cost to the congregation. Time tion on AIDS, writings on personal gregations which are part of them. for questions was allowed after the experience with AIDS, and suggesWe hope that this sharing will brief presentations. Over 40 persons tions for organizing efforts for edubroaden the support networks for showed up for the meeting to learn cation and ministry about AIDS. gay men, lesbians, their family and more about the Reconciling Con" A Matter of Justice" (vol. 1, no.3) friends, and their congregations. gregation Program. reviews the civil and legal rights conOn a smaller scale, several indivicerns of lesbians and gay men. In Reconciled in Christ Program duals arranged for displaying inforthis issue, Dr. Arthur Flemming preThe Reconciled in Christ promation on conference resource tables sents the Christian case for involvegram was developed by Lutherans at their annual conferences. Broment in the civil rights of all persons, ConcernedlNorth America in 1983. 22/Mal/I/a for the Joumey SI. Francis (ALC) University (LCA) Downtown Presbyterian McKinley Memorial 152 Church Street 1611 Stanford Avenue Congregations in three major Luth121 N. Fitzhugh Street Presbyterian eran bodies-the American Lutheran San FranCisco, CA 94114 Palo Alto, CA 94306 Rochester, NY 14614 809 S. 5th Street Champaign, IL 61820 Church (ALC), Association of EvanChrist Church (AELC) SI. Paurs (LCA) 1090 Qunitara Street 1658 Excelsior Avenue Calvary St. Andrews Parish Bethany Presbyterian San FranCiSCO, CA 94116 Oakland, CA 94602 gelical Lutheran Churches (AELC), 68 Ashland Street 4523 Cedar Springs and the Lutheran Church in America Rochester, NY 14620 Dallas, TX 75219 First United (LCA) Lutheran Peace Fellowship 6555 Geary Blvd. 4100 Moutain Blvd. (LCA)-are invited to sign an "AffirNew Community Life West Hollywood mation of Welcome." San FranCiSCO, CA 94121 Oakland, CA 94619 Presbyterian Presbyterian 243 Rosedale Street 7350 Sunset Blvd. Fullness of God (ALC) "The Affirmation of Welcome is Rochester, NY 14620 Los Angeles, CA 90046 a statement that affirms the message Holden Village Chelan, WA 98816 Westminster Presbyterian Noe Valley Ministry of Christ that calls us to reconcilia400 I Street, S.W. 1021 Sanchez Street tion and wholeness. Since gay and Washington, DC 20024 San FranCiSCO, CA 94114 lesbian persons are often scorned by More Light Program Rockville Presbyterian Seventh Avenue 215 W. Montgomery Avenue Presbyterian Rockville, MD 20850 1329 7th Avenue society and alienated from the The More Light Program was Church, the affirmation states the initiated by Presbyterians for Lesbian! San FranCiSCO, CA 94122 First. Franklin SI. following: Gay Concerns (PLGC) in 1979. Presbyterian Covenant Presbyterian "-that gay and lesbian people More Light congregations have 210 W. Madision Street 670 E. Meadow Drive Baltimore, MD 21201 Palo Alto, CA 94306 "declared that all people, regardless of comes from being unique individuals share with all others the worth that Waverty Presbyterian Westminster Presbyterian Old York Road at 34th Street 240 Tiburon Blvd. their sexual orientation or preference crea ted by God; and their affectional relationships, Baltimore, MD 21218 Tiburon, CA 94920 "-that gay and lesbian people are are welcomed into full participation Central Presbyterian First Presbyterian welcome within the membership of (including election and ordination 318 W. Kentucky Street P.O. Box 236 Louisville, KY 40203 Sausalito, CA 94965 this congregation upon making the to the offices of the church) on the same affirmation of faith that all same basis. The message of the GosNorthside Presbyterian SI. Andrews Presbyterian 1679 Broadway Drake & Donahue Avenues other people make; and pel is for all people. The law of love Ann Arbor, MI48105 Marin City, CA 94965 "-that as members of this conapplies equally to all persons, reLincoln Park Presbyterian Terrace View Presbyterian gregation, gay and lesbian people are gardless of their particular sexual 600 W. Fullerton Parkway 4700 228th Street, S.w. Chicago, IL 60614 Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043 expected and encouraged to share in orientation or preference of their the sacramental and general life of affectional relationships." this congregation." More Light congregations are The coordinator of the Reconencouraged to write and adopt their ciled in Christ Program is Rose own More Light resolutions, A bookReconciling Congregations let giving background information Smith, 12602 Park Street, Cerritos, Washington Square UMC University UMC CA 90701. on More Light ministry, including c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Steven Webster Ed Weaver 1127 University Avenue Lutheran congregations which sample More Light statements, is 135 W. 4th Street Madison, WI 53715 have become "Reconciled in Christ" available for $2,00 from PLGC. New York, NY 10012 to date are: The contact person for the More Park Slope UMC Wheadon UMC c/o A. Finley Schaef c/o Carol Larson 6th Avenue & 8th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue The Community of Christ Edina Community (ALC) Light Program is: Shirley Hinkamp, 300 W. 55th, #IOJ, New York, NY Brooklyn, NY 11215 Evanston, IL 60201 (ALC) 443 W. 54th Street 10019. 1812 Monroe Street, NW Edina, MN 55424 Calvary UMC St. Paul's UMC Washington, DC 20010 Presbyterian congregations in c/o Chip Coffman c/o George Christie Christ the Mediator (LCA) 815 S. 48th Street 1615 Ogden Street the More Light Program are: Philadelphia, PA 19143 Denver, CO 80218 1900 St. Paul Street Chicago, IL 60615 Baltimore, MD 21218 SI. Mark's (LCA) 3100 S. Calumet Christ UMC Wesley UMC St. Gregory of Nyssa (AELC) Church of the Covenant South Presbyterian Church 67 Newbury Street 343 Broadway c/o Bea Judge c/o Warren Russell 1401 E. 55th Street #3202N 4th & Eye Streets, SW 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Chicago, IL 60615 Boston, MA 02116 Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522 Village Church (LCA) Washington, DC 20024 Fresno, CA 93710 LafayeHe Avenue 130 E. Juneau Avenue Christ Church Presbyterian Resurrection (LCA) Milwaukee, WI 53202 Presbyterian SI. John's UMC Bethany UMC 3301 N. Seminary Street Redstone Campus 85 S. Oxford Street c/o Howard Nash c/o Christine L Shiber Burlington, VT 05401SI. Paul-Reformation (LCA) Brooklyn, NY 11217Chicago, IL 60657 2705 St. Paul Street 1268 Sanchez Street 100 N. Oxford Street Baltimore, MD 21218 San Francisco, CA 94114 Munn Avenue Presbyterian St. Paul, MN 55104 Old South Haven St. Paurs (LCA) 7 S. Munn Avenue Presbyterian P.O. Box 341 Edgehill UMC Sunnyhills UMC Holy Trinity (LCA) East Orange, NJ 07018 South Country Road Northridge, CA 91324 c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Martha Chow Brookhaven, NY 117192730 E. 31st Street 1502 Edgehill Avenue 335 Dixon Road First Presbyterian. TrinityMinneapolis, MN 55406 St. MaHhew's (LCA) Nashville, TN 37212 Milpitas, CA 95035 2 Prospect Street Westminster Presbyterian 11031 Camarillo Street Trenton, NJ 08618 724 Delaware Avenue Christ the Servant North Hollywood, CA 91602 Central UMC Wallingford UMCBuffalo, NY 14222 (ALC/LCA) c/o Howard Abts c/o Chuck Richards 317 17th Avenue, SE SI. Paulus (AELC) Prospect Street 701 West Central at 2115 N. 42nd Street Minneapolis, MN 55414 888 Turk Street Presbyterian Church North Presbyterian Scottwood Seattle, WA 98103 San Francisco, CA 94102 2 Prospect Street 90 Lewis Street Toledo, OH 43610 Grace University (LCA) Trenton, NJ 08618 Geneva, NY 14456 Capitol Hill UMC Harvard and Delware SI. Mark's (LCA) West-Park Presbyterian John Calvin Presbyterian c/o Pat Dougherty Streets, SE 1101 O'Farrell Street 165 W. 86th Street 50 Ward Hill Road 128 Sixteen Street East Minneapolis, MN 55414 San Francisco, CA 94109 New York, NY 10024 Henrietta, NY 14467 Seattle, WA 98112 Mal/fla for the Jowney / 23 Back, Gloria Guss. Are You Still My Mother? Are You Still My Family? New York: Warner Books, 1985. Written by a social worker who has a gay son and now specializes in counseling the families of gay men and lesbians. Borhek, Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. New York: Pilgrim Press: 1983. Contains suggestions to the lesbian or gay man on how and when to come out to parents, what to expect. For parents, the book explains how initial reactions of grief and loss can be overcome. _______ My Son Eric. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1979. The moving story of an evangelical Christian mother's journey to acceptance of her gay son. Clark, Don. Loving Someone Gay. Milbrae, Calif.: Celestial Arts, 1977. Attempts to enable a positive self-identity to those persons who are newly out. (Primarily oriented to gay men.) Fairchild, Betty, and Hayward, Nancy. Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1979. An excellent book for those who are struggling with the reality of a gay or lesbian relative. Silverstein, Charles. A Family Matter: A Parent's Guide to Homosexuality. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1978. A guide for parents of lesbians and gay men. Discusses how to approach the subject, how to listen, etc. Switzer, David K and Shirley A Parents of the Homosexual. Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1980. Examines feelings of guilt and anger that Christian parents can have toward themselves, their child, and God after hearing that their child is gay or lesbian. Helps parents and children move toward reconciliation. Counseling Babuscio, John. We Speak for Ourselves. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1977. Case histories written specifically for counselors by lesbian and gay counselors. Topics include homophobia, internalized oppression, family relationships. Gonsiorek, John, ed. A Guide to Psychotherapy with Gay and Lesbian Clients. New York: Harrington Park Press, 1985. Includes articles on coming out, therapeutic issues with lesbian and gay couples, bisexuality, etc. 24/Mallfla for the JOl:lmey Hall, Marny. The Lavender Couch: A Consumer's Guide to Psychotherapy for Lesbians and Gay Men. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1985. Discusses how to choose a therapist, danger signs to watch for, what to expect in therapy, and other issues. Moses, A. Elfin, and Hawkins, Robert, eds. Counseling Lesbians and Gay Men. St. Louis: Mosby, 1982. A presentation of counseling techniques for lesbian/gay and heterosexual therapists to assist their lesbian and gay clients. Gay/Lesbian Parenting Gantz, Joe. Whose Child Cries. Rolling Hills Estates, Calif.: Jalmar Press, 1983. Children of gay parents talk about their lives and their growing up in openly gay and lesbian homes. Hanscombe, Gillian E., and Forster, Jackie. Rocking the Cradle. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1982. A book about lesbian mothers, their children, lovers, husbands, friends. Shares their hopes, dreams, concerns, fears. Pies, Cheri. Considering Parenthood: A Workbook for Lesbians. San Francisco: Spinsters Ink, 1985. A workbook for lesbians and their lovers who would like to be mothers. Contains information on artificial insemination, adoption, single parenting, co-parenting, etc. Schulenberg, Joy. Gay Parenting. Garden City, N.J.: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1985. A practical guide to help lesbian/gay parents deal with special problems they are likely to face. Some topics are adoption, artificial insemination, coming out to the children, and preparing for custody battles. Relationships Curry, Hayden, and Clifford, Denis. A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1980. A practical book that discusses all important aspects of coupling. Includes sample letters, forms and agreements to handle legal situations, estate planning, power of attorney, etc. Uhrig, Larry J. The Two of Us: Affirming, Celebrating, and Symbolizing Gay and Lesbian Relationships. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1984. A handbook by a Metropolitan Community Church pastor, on overcoming the difficulties ofgay and lesbian relationships. Miscellaneous Berzon, Betty. Positively Gay: New Approaches in Gay and Lesbian Ufe. Los Angeles: Mediamix, 1984. A collection of articles that include topics on coupling, job security, financial planning, family relationships, etc. Fortunato, John. Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians. New York: Seabury Press, 1982. Presents a theological discussion of the struggle of gay men and lesbians within the church. Good resource for pastoral counselors. Heron, Ann, ed. One Teenager in Ten. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1983. Writings by gay and lesbian youth dealing with parents, growing up lesbian/gay, etc. MacDonald, Barbara, and Rich, Cynthia. Look Me in the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism. San Francisco: Spinsters Ink, 1983. Insightful look at aging from a feminist perspective. Nelson, James. Embodiment. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1978. Covers broadly the subject of human sexuality from a relational standpoint. Includes one chapter on homosexuality. Scanzoni, Letha, and Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey. Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1978. Written by two women from the evangelical tradition, this book presents an excellent introductory look at the concerns of gay men and lesbians and the challenge of ministry to this often marginalized group. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 4 - Our Families https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1511f36a7b1e2fa20c8306fa3d389538.pdf 39f469bd263b78170ab815c35bc56322 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 2 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document 1t!J11 your"ea rl Irue -10 m y "earl al --I Inune If 0 youn __ ___ ';Jf il iI, give m e 90ur "and:· 2 ';]("ingJ 10:15 Vo'-2, ~o_1 ~ummer10S0 'iJour al 01 t"e~concilingCongregation~ogram ~ The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation' Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Inc., as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue: Jeanne Barnett Bob Moon Mark Bowman John Moor Joanne Brown Julie Morrissey Nancy Carter Beth Richardson Morris Floyd Ben Roe Merrill Follansbee Bradley Rymph Mary Gaddis Eric Schuman Rick Husky Jeffrey Snyder Bill Johnson Randy Kimler Graphic anis!: Gene Leggett Brenda Roth Open Hands (formerly Manna tor the Journey) is published four times a year. Subscription is $1 0 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Repnnts of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands PO. Box 23636 Washington. D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Inc. ISSN 0888-8833 IPJII ~our"earl true -fo m'l "eart al ,,,i,.,e il to 1l0ufJ/. ... ';J.f it ii, give me 'lour "a,.,d:' : ';](i"'OI "':1; TJournal of fl.Je~concilingCongregation ~ogram Contents Just two decades ago, few (if any) Christian denominations had formal policies related to homosexuality. Any church law was, in essence, informal and unwritten. Clearly, that is no longer the case. The United Methodist Church and other denominations have adopted ordinances and statements of principles covering a variety of subjects of specific concern to gay men and lesbians. In this issue of Open Hands, we examine some of these policies and the theological questions behind them. Morris Floyd opens our discussion with "The Need for a Coherent Theology ofSexuality" (p. 5 ). Floyd puts these church policy questions in their broader context, arguing that institutional Christendom's difficulty in being inclusive of gay men and lesbians stems largely from its discomfort with dealing with sexuality in general. The United Methodist Church has adopted several statements and policies related to the role that lesbians and gay men are welcome to play as its members. John V. Moore discusses this history and specifics of ordination policy in "Struggle for Justice: Ordination in the UMC" (p. 10). Robert W. Moon, in "Contradiction Codified: The UM Social Principles" (p. 7), and Nancy Carter, in "Ignorance vs. Education: The UM Funding Ban" (p. 8), discuss other important actions of recent General Conferences. I n "Spiritual Gifts Lost" (p. 6), Ben Roe recounts the cost to the church in lost human talents caused by these policies. Perhaps the central issue among these church policies is whether gay men and lesbians should have the same ordination opportunities as other church members. Drawing on personal experience, four authors discuss varying aspects of this question: Richard E. Husky, in "Baptismal Covenant Broken" (p. 19); F. Gene Leggett, in "Whose Life Is Disrupted?" (p. 20); Jeff Snyder, in "The Cost ofthe Closet" (p. 21); and an anonymous lesbian, in "Responding to God's Call" (p. 23). Other denominations face challenges similar to those within the United Methodist Church. In "Journeys in Other Denominations," other churches' struggles to be inclusive of gay men and lesbians are noted: Unitarian Universalist, Eric Schuman (p. 12); Episcopalian, Randolph B. Kimler (p. 14); Presbyterian, Merrill M. Follansbee (p. 15); and United Church ofChrist, William Johnson (p. 16) Elsewhere in this issue, SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p.18) presents "Affirming Our Ministries, " a responsive reading originally compiled for the commissioning of Affirmation leaders and adapted for Open Hands by Julie Morrissey. RESOURCES (p. 24) offers opportunities for further study and reflection on the theme of the issue. The RCP REPORT (p. 3) offers news of interest to readers. We present this issue in a spirit of reconciliation and love, daring to hope that our vision of the church as a Christian community encompassing the diversity of God's glorious creation will continue to unfold. 2/0pen Hands OUR NEW NAME! With this issue we begin publishing under our new name, Open Hands. This is not indicative of any changes in content or style with Mannafor the Journey-just a change in name. As we announced with an insert . in our last issue, our legal use of the ti tle M anna for the Journey was challenged last fall by the United Methodist Renewal Services Fellowship (UMRSF), a charismatic group in the UMC. The UMRSF has a federal trademark on the title of its newsletter, Manna , and requested that we change our title, contending that the two publications were likely to be confused. Believing that such confusion was unlikely because ofour different audiences and different full titles, we felt we-had reasonable grounds to obtain a federal trademark on Manna for the Journey. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, however, disagreed and denied our trademark application this spring. Rather than pursue our case through appeal, we have decided to change our name. The image of Open Hands is derived from John Wesley's sermon "The Cathoic Spirit." The text for that sermon is from II Kings 10: 15: And when he [Jehu] departed thinking. Wesley concludes by stating that a person of "catholic spirit" is one whose heart is enlarged toward all mankind, those he knows and those he does not; he embraces with strong and cordial affection neighbors and strangers, friends and enemies.* We find this image to be particularly meaningful for the Reconciling Congregation Program and this journal. As women and men of faith, we lay claim to the promise of the church as the inclusive Body of Christ. On behalf of those who have been cast out by the institutional church, we extend our hands to those who remain inside the ecclesiastical structures and those who are now without, welcoming them to our common bond of love in Jesus Christ. Hands joined together span divisions and brokenness, even if they do not erase them. It is through God's saving and liberating grace that we can say "Is your heart true to my heart as mine is to yours? . . . Ifit is, give me your hand." On a practical note, be assured that subscriptions and correspondence can be addressed to either Open Hands or Manna for the Journey for the next several months as we complete this transition. Crescent Heights performs a ministry to the community through the use of its facilities. Groups which use the building include lesbian/gay Alcoholics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous groups, a mental health support group, AIDS support groups, and the Coalition for Economic Survival. Crescent Heights has also made its sanctuary available for memorial services for those who have died from AIDS. SI. Paul's Supports Julian Rush St. Paul's UMC (Denver) publicly declared its support for one of its pastors, Julian Rush, in the latest round of challenges to Rush's appointment as an openly gay pastor. Rush is appointed to St. Paul's and to the Colorado AIDS Project. I n response to formal charges filed against Rush by other pastors in the Rocky Mountain Annual Conference, several laypersons at St. Paul's drafted a statement ofsupport. This statement was approved by the congregation's Administrative Council on March 30, 1986, and signed by 45 members of the congregation (the text of the statement is below). The statement was subsequently printed in the annual conference's newsfrom there, he met Jehonadab the son of Rechab coming to *The exclusively masculine language is retained from Wesley:~ writing but is intended to include paper. After grievances against Rush meet him; and he greeted all persons. were filed in July 1985, the investigahim, and said to him, "Is your tion ran into an obstacle-there was heart true to my heart as mine is to yoursT And Jehonadab answered, "It is." Jehu said, "If Welcome to a New Reconciling Congregation no established definition of what constituted a "self-avowed, practicing homosexual." (This term was it is, give me your hand." Crescent Heights UMC of West used in the 1984 General Conference (RSV) Hollywood, California, recently belegislation prohibiting the ordinaWesley's interpretation of this came the 16th Reconciling Congretion and appointment of openly gay passage states first that Jehu is not gation and the first located in southand lesbian clergy in the UMC.) inquiring ifthe two ofthem are ofthe ern California. A special committee was apsame opinion or worship in a similar Crescent Heights was formed in pointed by the annual conference to fash ion. Instead, the question simply 1914. Located in an "urban village," define and apply the term. At a is, "Is thy heart right with God? .. the neighborhood is comprised priJanuary executive session of the Dost thou believe in the Lord Jesus marily of Old World Russian Jews annual conference, the definition Christ? .. Is thy faith filled with the and lesbians and gay men. Crescent was presented and approved. It read: energy of love? . .. Is thy heart right Heights is currently the only main" A self-avowed, practicing homosextoward thy neighborT According to line Protestant church in this neighual is a person who engages in, and Wesley, the statement "give me your borhood. A large number of the conopenly acknowledges, genital sexual hand" is a bond of faith and love and gregation's 60 members are lesbians behavior with a person or persons of does not convey a unity of belief and or gay men. (continued) Open Hands/3 the same sex." Under this definition, the proceedings against Rush were discontinued. Three pastors in the annual conference then filed formal charges that Rush is gay and, thus, disobeying church law. St. Paul's letter of support was in response to this continued "harassment" and asked that the charges be dropped and the process of reconciliation begun. The letter said: The undersigned members of St. Paul's United Methodist Church of Denver and the Administrative Council are taking this means to attempt to reconcile differences of opinion relating to charges being brought a second time against the Rev. Julian Rush and, therefore, St. Paul's. This charge by the Revs. J.L. Penfold, Eaton; Ed Bigler, Peetz; and Edward R. Rousset. Mancos, seems to us to be harassment and interferes with our ministry. We feel these charges are being encouraged by a group outside the Rocky Mountain Conference who have no concept of the ministry of St. Paul's UMC and other similar places and we respectfully, prayerfully, and in the spirit of love and reconciliation, request it to cease and desist. We invite other United Methodist members and congregations to join us in this request. St. Paul's United Methodist Church of Denver is growing at a time when other churches are losing members and when the entire church is being requested to double its membership. We are an all-inclusive, reconciling congregation ministering to the people of Capitol Hill in Denver. The church has experienced refreshing new life with new people addressing the needs ofthe city's homeless and the chronically mentally ill; the state's farm crisis; Central America's civil strife; Mexico's earthquake; Cheyenne's flood as well as addressing the needs of the congregation. St. Paul's has paid full apportionments in support of the Rocky Mountain Conference • and the connectional system of the United Methodist Church. United Methodists and non-United Methodists continue to join and members refuse to drop out of the church in spite of actions advocated by specific vocal groups encouraging rejection and isolation. We invite the Reverends Penfold, Bigler and Rousset. and any others who are willing, to visit St. Paul's and worship with us. [The congregational Covenant appears here.] The vast majority of the group who wrote this covenant are heterosexual members of St. Paul's. The lay ministry of St. Paul's United Methodist Church of Denver feel we are all in ministry whether ordained or not. We believe Julian Rush is an example of ministry in this present age of reformation based on love. People have been afraid of tuberculosis, polio, cancer and now AIDS. The change in thinking has come about thanks to persons like Julian and many Colorado AIDS Project volunteers who attend St. Paul's who have been called to serve an unpopular position in the face of extreme adversity today. We, St. Paul's United Methodist Church of Denver members and Administrative Council, sincerely hope and pray for reconciliation in this matter. Wisconsin Annual Conference Commends RCP The Wisconsin Annual Conference, meeting in late May, approved a resolution in support of the Reconciling Congregation Program. The resolution stipulated that information on the program be sent to every congregation in a conference mailing and the Reconciling Ministries Committee of the conference Board ofGlobal Ministries include the program in its work. More information on this resolution and happenings in other United Methodist annual conferences will appear in the next issue. Affirmation Meeting Brings Developments for the RCP The annual spring meeting of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns was held in Seattle in April. Portions of the meeting were held in each of that city's Reconciling Congregations (Wallingford and Capitol Hill). Among the decisions made at the meeting were several concerning the Reconciling Congregation Program. Specifically, a decision was made to hold a national Reconciling Congregations event in the spring of 1987. The event would bring together representatives of the Reconciling Congregations, members ofprospective congregations, resource persons from the gay/lesbian community, and observers from annual conferences and the national boards and agencies. The event will provide an opportunity for networking among local congregations, visioning for the RCP, and witnessing to the national church about the important mInIstries that Reconciling Congregations perform. Reconciling Congregations will be consulted in the planning of the event. Others who wish more information should contact the Reconciling Congregation Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. News From Reconciling Congregations -Bethany (San Francisco) celebrated lesbian/gay pride with a car in the Freedom Day parade, complete with their pastor in a clerical collar. -Capitol Hill (Seattle) marched in the Gay Pride parade and distributed bookmarks describing their ministry as a Reconciling Congregation. -Crescent Heights (West Hollywood) houses the Triangle Project, which identifies and supports lesbian and gay couples wanting to be foster parents. -Edgehill (Nashville) recently began a Luke 14: 12 program. On Tuesdays and Fridays, 50-100 people are served lunch in the church building. -University (Madison) engaged in a corn-picking ministry this past winter. When late fall rains and an early snow kept farmers from using machinery to pick the corn crop, several southern Wisconsin churches organized groups to work in the fields picking corn by hand. Members of University spent several weekends picking corn. Also, University's Administrative Council recently approved performing "holy unions" for lesbian or gay couples in their church. In addition, the worship committee drafted a sample worship service to be used. 4/0pen Hands The Need for a COHERENT Morris Floyd is a member of the California-Pacific Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. Floyd lives in Minneapolis and is one of the official spokespersons for Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. The presence of lesbians and gay men in the church is not new. Policy issues resulting from that presence, however, have been on the United Methodist agenda and that of other denominations for a relatively short timeroughly since the famous Stonewall riots in 1969. Since 1972, the basis of the UMC's position has been its Social Principles statement. That statement affirms the dignity and worth of "homosexual persons no less than heterosexual persons;" acknowledges their need for "the ministry and guidance of the church;" and calls for the assurance of their human and civil rights. Nevertheless, the statement adds, "we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." Theology of Sexuality By Morris Floyd The "incompatibility clause" set the stage for later prohibitions against "the use of national church funds for gay/lesbian groups or in ways that "promote the acceptance" of homosexuality; and the ordination or appointment of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals." It maintains a dualistic understanding of personality and a genital focus in matters of human sexuality. This dualistic understanding can be seen in the moral distinction the policy makes between homosexual orientation and same-sex activity. The argument usually goes something like this: Homosexual orientation may be regrettable but is not to be condemned. However, the behavioral expression of that orientation, which is under the control ofthe individual, is not acceptable. It is a variation on the theme "love the sinner; hate the sin." Furthermore, since homosexual "practice" is seen primarily in terms of genital activity, genital behavior defines what it means to be a "practicing" lesbian or gay man. This dualistic approach to human experience and the obsessive focus on genital behavior is not limited to the church's response to homosexuality. At least vestiges of these shortcomings can be observed in traditional Christian approaches to nonmarital sexual expression, birth control, and abortion. These problems result, in large part, from our failure to have developed a coherent theology of sexuality. The Wesleyan approach requires that theology be informed by scripture, tradition, reason, and experience. United Methodist policy with respect to homosexuality lacks theological coherence because it is consistent neither with what is known about homosexuality from medical and social sciences nor with the biblical view of humankind. For more than 10 years, it has been the scientific consensus that a same-s~ orientation is neither chosen nor pathological. On this basis, sexual orientation is seen as one or more ofthose categories in which people differ. Based on a selectively literal reading of a few verses in the Bible, a viscerally negative reaction to gay/lesbian sexuality, a lack of information about gay and lesbian persons, or some combination of these factors, many church people ignore the scientific consensus. This allows them to deny the biblical view of persons as whole creatures called to be responsible stewards ofall the gifts they have been given, including their sexuality. Gay and lesbian persons are urged to isolate themselves from their sexual nature, deny its goodness, and suppress genital expression. This urging reflects and reinforces the naive notion that sexuality is only expressed in genital ways. Like persons who are heterosexual, lesbians and gay men express their sexuality in many ways, even if they never have a genital sexual interaction with another person. The church, however, is interested only in what they do with certain body orga ns. Developing a coherent theology of sexuality is important not only for its own sake and for what it will enable in terms of a more just policy regarding lesbians and gay men in the church. It is important also because of what it will mean for the ministry of the church to the whole human community and with respect to lesbians and gay men in particular. There are few areas of our lives where people have greater need for support than in dealing with concerns related to their sexuality. Heterosexuals, like lesbians and gay men, experience a powerful link between their approach to their sexuality and their own sense of self-identity and self-worth. Uncertainties and guilts in this important area limit persons' abilities to hear or fully respond to the Gospel ofJesus Christ. The church can give neither effective guidance nor a useful pastoral approach with respect to these concerns while its resources are limited to the narrow and unbiblical approach illustrated by its present response to persons who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Open Hands/5 Spiritual Gi Tonight I cried. I grieved the loss to my church of the spiritual gifts of one of God's children. My church had no room for my friend, because he is different. My friend joined another church where he is openly wanted, welcomed, appreciated, and understood. Ifmy church had been open, we could have heard of his struggle of over 30 years to be included and his uniqueness affirmed. Time after time, church after church up to his teens, he was branded different. One Lutheran minister in an attempt to "heal" the differentness singled him out for special Bible study classes. Ifmy church had been willing to listen, we would have heard of his long-time, little-expressed dream of being a minister. We would have heard of his deep appreciation for God's little creations: the bugs, the flowers, the plants, the rocks. We could have heard him call the plants by their scientific names. But my church is afraid of him. He looks a little different, acts a little different, believes a little different. We can't imagine God's love including his differentness in God's plan. You see, my friend openly affirms his sexuality-his gay sexuality. In one United Methodist church, more recently, my friend was sitting in church with his wife (yes, homosexual people do marry) and heard the minister talk about how homosexuality is a danger to families. My friend, in order to retain his hard-won sense of dignity and composure, got up and left. We understand ourselves as one of the most inclusive and pluralistic denominations. Yet for the last 14 years we have debated heatedly whether those who are attracted to persons of the same sex can be included-not only in United Methodism, but in Christianity! Our Social Principles now insist, for example, that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Our statement on the ministry now says that self-avowed, practicing homosexuals are not to be admitted as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve. The spiritual gifts of many gay, lesbian, and bisexual men and women are lost to almost all churches because we in those churches are unwilling to listen. We are unwilling to learn about the full range of human sexuality, which includes homosexuality and bisexuality. We shut our ears by not listening to those who knock at our doors in their writings. We shut our ears by not attending educational events. We shut our hearts by denying funds to any endeavor which might even sound like it might promote the acceptance of any sexuality different from our own. The spiritual path of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people can have a significance that could enrich us all. But because we don't listen, we miss Ben Roe is a United Methodist minister. pastoral counselor, edu and executive director of Ministry in Human Sexuality. a counseling, By Ben Roe education, and advocacy agency in Lincoln, NE. some of the depth of our common spiritual journey, and our church is the poorer for it. Ifmy church, the United Methodist Church, had been willing to listen, we could have heard of my friend's latest journey to affirm his sexuality fully in the context of his spiritual journey. He has finally been able to celebrate his maleness, his combination of femininity and masculinity, and his gayness. He has found a new appreciation of his body which had long been a source of confusion and pain. We could have heard of my friend's growing understanding of his spirituality and his longing for communion with God. We would have heard his joy at finding God and a new wholeness in spirit, mind, and body. But we weren't open to hear. Someday I hope this church that has given me my hopes and dreams, my faith perspective, the undergirding to my spirituality-someday I hope my church which has the possibility of being one of the most balanced spiritual and justice-seeking churchessomeday I hope my church will open up eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to love, and perhaps even seek out those gay, lesbian and bisexual persons who so long ago went out of the church when they "came out" in the church. The joy I find in my grief is that at last my friend is finally fully a part of the body of Christ, which transcends all our human denominations. This editorial was first published in the January 1986 issue of The Nebraska Messenger and is used by permission. 6/ 0pen Hand~ The United Methodist Social Principles say: 'We recognize that sexuality is a good gift of God, and we believe persons may be By Robert W. Moon f ully human only when that gift is acknowledged and affinned by themselves, the CONTRADICTION Church, and society. We call all persons to disciplines that lead to the fulfillment of CODI.IEDI themselves, others and society in the stewardship ofthis gift. we encourage the medical, theological, and humanistic disciplines to combine in a determined effort to underT he UM Social Principles stand human sexuality more completely. "Homosexual persons no less than heterosex ual persons are individuals of The story on legislation affecting the declaration about homosexuality in the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church is quickly told: There has been no change since 1972. sacred worth, who need the ministry and guidance ofthe Ch urch in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care ofa fellowship which During a period when attitudes toward homosexuality were becoming more flexible in many parts of society, the official position of the United Methodist Church has held rigidly to the words" . . . incompatible enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. Further we insist that all persons are entitled to have their with Christian teaching." human and civil rights ensured, though we This indicting phrase was added from the floor during the debate in the General Conference of 1972. Though attempts to remove these words have been made every four years since 1972, the document remains do not condone the practice ofhomosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching. ,. The Book of unchanged. We can hope for changes. Through the centuries we have witnessed significant changes in Christian Discipline, p.90, par. 71 F, ''Human Sexuality. ") teachings. Take the teachings about divorce, for example. The early position of the church banning divorce was This Social Principles statement was adopted at the prompted by the words attributed to Jesus. Though 1972 General Conference of the United Methodist Jesus was silent about homosexuality, his words about Church. The last phrase" .. . though we do not condone divorce are clear and unequivocal (Mark 10: 11 ft). Today the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice the official statements and the practice of many denomincompatible with Christian teaching" was added as an inations are accepting toward divorced persons. amendment to the statement from the floor of the conAgain, Christian teachings about racism and slavery ference and was adopted. have changed through the centuries. So have the The original statement as proposed was an affirming teachings about participating in war. statement, which understood and accepted our human Given the fact that Jesus neve r addressed the subject diversity in sexuality as a good gift of God. The of homosexuality, and given our greatly enriched " .. . incompatible with Christian teaching" amendment understanding of the nature of sexuality today, it is was an abrupt contrast to that original statement. reasonable to expect a change in Christian teaching here. Since the incompassionate rigidity prompted by the words "incompatible with Christian teaching" has been The Social Principles are neither church law nor rules in any binding sense. They are statements of so costly in pain and anguish and fractured community, social conscience of the church on subjects of concern. we must do all we can to see that this change does not They have varied greatly over the history of the United take centuries to be accomplished. Methodist Church and will vary during the coming years. Because the Social Principles speak to issues of Rohert W Moon. a United Methodist minister, was on the platform at General Conference in 1972 making the presentation fo r the majority report at the time the amendment was made. today for each time in the life of the church, this statement today reflects the contradictory views held by individuals within the United Methodist Church. Open Hands/ 7 By Nancy Carter Nancy Caner is chairperson ofthe Administrative Council of Washington Square UMC (N<*' York), a Reconciling Congregation, where she has been a member since 1977. During the closing hours of the 1976 General Conference, when the rules had been changed to suspend debate, repressive new legislation was added to The Book ofDiscipline. In what is now known as paragraph 906.12* the conference gave the General Council on Finance and Administration the responsibility for ensuring that no board, agency, committee, commission, or council shall give United Methodist funds to any "gay" caucus or group, or otherwise use such funds to promote the acceptance of homosexuality. The council shall have the right to stop such expenditures. The same General Conference refused to authorize a national church study of human sexuality and only by a slim majority voted to authorize voluntary sexuality study efforts by local churches, for which resources would be provided. By adding paragraph 906.12 without adequately discussing it and before conducting any serious study of human sexuality, that General Conference was, in effect, preferring ignorance to education and thus endorsing the continuation of public prejudice. The legislation was seen by many as a weapon not only to stop education about sexuality and gay/lesbian people but also to exclude gay/lesbian persons from various aspects of church life. Early I nterpretations of Paragraph 906.12 Paragraph 906.12 was invoked many times in the first quadrennium of its enforcement as people tried to determine its implications. One of the first impacts of the new clause was to stop the minimal funding that had been going to groups that could be labeled "gay," such as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC), a predominantly (but not exclusively) gay/lesbian denomination, and to prevent future funding of such groups. The new disciplinary clause was also quickly used to try to control educational materials and events, with any "positive" information about gay/lesbian people considered by some to be against the Discipline if it received national denomination funds: • An article in The Christian Home about Rick Husky, "One of Our Family is Gay," in its May 1977 issue, was attacked by Charles Keysor, top staff person *The original numbering in 1976 was 906. 13; I use the 1984 numbering throughout. 8/0pen Hands of Good News, a conservative UMC caucus. Keysor charged that the article violated paragraph 906.12 because "Homosexuality is not declared to be wrongthe only wrong which this article declares is the narrowminded attitude of the church which will not ordain homosexuals. " • The United Methodist Reporter, in its February 2, 1979, issue, attacked the General Board of Discipleship (BOD) for producing a packet on homosexuality as part of the local church study approved by the General Conference. The-[newspaper charged that the packet "promoted" homosexuality, and, as a result, the packet was altered, including the removal of a "pro-gay" pamphlet published by the Gay Activists' Alliance. • Still in turbulence from firing Joan Clark in 1979 after she came out as a lesbian, the Women's Division of the General Board of Global Ministries sent three recommendations to the 1980 General Conference: deletion of paragraph 906.12, as well as deletion of the negative statement in the Social Principles (see article, p. 7) and adoption of the division's document on Human Sexuality for study (see RESOURCES, p. 24). Ruth Daugherty, the Women's Division president, said that the deletion of the two paragraphs would allow the UMC to study sexuality "with openness, clarity, and Christian charity." Afterward, Good News suggested that the study would violate the Discipline, as (it said) had the human sexuality workshops the division sponsored for its directors and staff after Clark was fired. • A 1977 educational conference, "Homosexuality and the United Methodist Church," sponsored by 'Washington Square UMC in New York City and Gay United Methodists (now Affirmation) was even questioned. Unlike the BOD and the Women's Division, however, Washington Square could say that it was a local church carrying out the General Conference mandate to do study; no national denominational funds were involved. (This differentiation between national and nonnational funds became important; some people tried to use paragraph 906.12 to block local, district, and annual conference studies.) Exclusion of Gay and Lesbian People Paragraph 906.12 was also used to justify the exclusion of gay and lesbian people in church-related institutions. Had Joan Clark been retained, for instance, some people were prepared to say her employment constituted a violation because her salary came from national church funds. This argument was never tested. UMC seminaries became the major focus of exclusion, particularly in relation to the ordination process. Some persons argued that, since UMC seminaries received national funds, they could not have gay or lesbian students in their professional programs. The first publicized case of exclusion was Garrett Evangelical Seminary's dismissal of two United Methodist "selfavowed homosexuals," James Mason and Terry Colbert, in June 1978. A few months later, Iliff School of Theology refused to admit Lucius Allen Grooms, a candidate for ministry in the MCC denomination. In May 1979, St. Paul School of Theology placed five students on probation for distributing a pamphlet that seminary officials claimed could be interpreted as the school's approval of homosexuality. New Directions in Interpretation Paragraph 906.12 seems to be invoked less than it once was but continues to do damage. Fortunately, it has lost some of its initial power in the area of education. Last year, the paragraph was cited in an attempt to block a study on homophobia, sexism, and the church by the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women (COS ROW). In response, Sharon Howell, the COSROW president, drew a distinction between advocacy and education. "Advocacy is the predetermination of support. Education-which is what we are struggling with-is coming to a better understanding and knowledge of an issue. Advocacy doesn't always come from education. We are not dealing with homosexuality, but the fear of it and all the implications." Analysis of the Issues The serious ethical issues raised by the adoption of paragraph 906.12 have not been adequately analyzed. Implicitly, the paragraph supports homophobia and rejects reconciliation. It denies that "promotion of the acceptance of homosexuality" can be based on facts, truth, and Christian love. It assumes that advocacy for gay/lesbian people has no Christian basis and supports an uneducated viewpoint of gay men and lesbians. Since national funds cannot go to "any 'gay' caucus or group"-and since that phrase has never been defined-important new work of parts of the United Methodist Church might be denied funding. Attempts could be made to use the paragraph to block funds for AIDS service groups, even though they help all persons with AIDS, not just gay men. A project gathering information about violence against lesbians and gay men might also be denied funds. The Reconciling Congregation Program might have trouble receiving funds, even though it is _essentially a network of individual UMC congregations across the country, not a gay/lesbian organization. Ideally, paragraph 906.12 should be deleted at the next General Conference. The funding processes of agencies, which include guidelines, policy approval by directors, and financial disclosure, should be trusted to make decisions on a case-by-case basis. Unfortunately, however, it is much harder to take legislation out of the Discipline than to put it in. Paragraph 906.12 was inserted into the Discipline at a time when distrust of denominational agencies was increasing. As often happens with distasteful actions, however, some unintentional good has also come from the legislation. One such result is that, after it was adopted, it helped prompt more grass-roots work on human sexuality to be done by local churches, districts, and annual conferences. In the long run, this examination may help lead to the dismantling of the very barriers that paragraph 906.12 was meant to reinforce. Open Handsl9 ggle For Justice: By John V. Moore he sanctuary of Glide Memorial UMC inTsan Francisco was packed, more crowded than on Easter. My sermon that day 20 years ago carried the title "Church, Community, and Homosexuality." The congregation was largely gay men and lesbians who had come specifically to hear what I had to say. After I called for deleting from the California code those statutes that dealt with private sexual acts between competent, consenting adults, news services reported my sermon as far away as New Zealand and Australia. The sermon had stemmed from a consultation on "Religion and the Homosexual" sponsored by a foundation of the congregation in June 1964. The consultation had attempted to bridge the gulf between churches and the thousands of young lesbians and gay men living in San Francisco, many of whom had grown up in the church and some of whom were still active in it. Approximately an equal number of heterosexual persons and gay men and lesbians had participated in the event. Two decades later, our concern is rightly with where the United Methodist Church is today in relation to the issue of ordination of gay men and lesbians and the larger issue of sexual orientation itself. Nevertheless, a sense of history can empower us for the continuing struggle for respect and justice for all persons. In 1965, issues related to lesbians and gay men were not even on the church's agenda. It simply had not occurred to the church that the issue needed addressing. Later, when the 1972 General Conference asserted that "the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teachings," it assumed that this was not only true of past and present teachings but of all Christian teaching in the future as well. The 1976 General Conference was the first to address the issue of homosexuality and ordination. There, at the meeting of the legislative Committee on the Ministry, opponents of any change in the church's official stance on homosexuality and ordination argued that the UMC already had a reliable process for examining the character of its ministers. During consideration of the matter, the committee asked two of us to prepare a draft making explicit the way the denomination dealt responsibly with matters of character. We hastily wrote an addition to a Book ofDiscipline footnote* on tobacco and beverage alcohol. By affirming the denomination's overall process of dealing with matters of clergy character, this footnote helped forestall any effort to expressly forbid the ordination of gay men and lesbians. The ordination issue was again on the General Conference agenda in 1980. The debate in committee and in lO/Open Hands · · Of,dIMtwn John V Moore is pastor at First UMC, Sacramento. California. He has been a delegate to five General Conferences and was a member ofthe General Board ofChurch and Society from 1972 to 1980. the plenary session centered on the same issues. The appeal to trust annual conferences to act responsibly in the matter of ordaining homosexuals carried the debate and prohibition was again defeated. It was not long before it became clear that the concept of any lesbian or gay man seeking ordination or serving as pastor was intolerable to many United Methodists. When Bishop Melvin Wheatley of the Rocky Mountain Conference was vindicated by the UMC judicial system for his appointing a pastor who acknowledged his homosexual orientation, church members who opposed ordination of gay men and lesbians began crying, "Let's resolve this issue once and for all!" In response, the 1984 General Conference first enacted a proposal calling for commitment of clergy to "fidelity in marriage and celibacy in singleness." After the Judicial Council ruled that "The addition of [those] words [did] not establish absolute requirements nor affect the right to appointment of ministerial members in good standing," the conference also expressly prohibited the candidacy, ordination, or appointment of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals."** In November 1984, the Judicial Council ruled that the second action did not violate the UMC constitution. The council explained that: 1) the General Conference has legislative authority in such matters; 2) annual conferences are responsible for interpreting and implementing General Conference legislation; and 3) because the constitutional rights of clergy who belong to annual conferences must be respected, bishops cannot refuse to appoint individual clergy unless their annual conference has acted to rescind their membership. Now that the General Conference and the Judicial Council have both spoken, flexibility exists solely with the annual conferences in how they interpret the rules. These conferences will have to define for themselves (continued) *The committee and the conference accepted thisfootnote with the understanding that it would be placed in The Book of Discipline. Despite this actiol7. the footnote was not prillled in the 1976 Discipline. It appeared. however. in the 1980 Discipline. **This wording made it clear that. to be deniedordination or have one's ordination revoked. agay man or lesbian must be both "selJ-avol1'ed" and "practicing" When a delegate to the General Conference offered an amendl1lelllthat wouldhave deleted ·~5elf-avol1·ed. .. arguingthat the words weakened the language. his lIlotion was defeated by a show ofhands. the "self-avowed" and to decide whether single people (either homosexual or heterosexual) who cannot in good conscience affirm celibacy meet the law of the church. In the past, annual conferences have variously interpreted the Discipline. For example, when the pledge to abstain from the use of tobacco and beverage alcohol was the law of the church, it was rigorously enforced in some sections of the country and ignored in others. The 1984 pronouncements probably will be in the Discipline for a long time. Both the precedent of the church's hesitation to delete references to tobacco and beverage alcohol and the constancy of the Social Principles on "the practice of homosexuality" point to this likelihood. Still, it should always be remembered that little is immutable about Christian teachings or church policies. The United Methodist Church is not likely to write blank checks for lifestyles. Still, an understanding of human sexuality and a feeling for fairness will push the church eventually to stop asking gay men and lesbians to deny or hide their identities or to remain celibate. The final test will be in local congregations. In many ways, church law has been changing more rapidly than the hearts and minds of the people in the pews. When the day comes that church law affirms the ordination of qualified women and men regardless of sexual orientation, little will have been gained if the congregations resist their leadership. Effective pastoral leadership in a parish requires some degree of acceptance and support by the people. Given the current homophobia and conscientious objection of many church members, the most important task is to win the hearts and minds of the people. This means continuing on the educational frontier. Iremember with feeling my own struggle 20 years ago as I prepared that sermon on "Church, Community, and Homosexuality." I didn't know if what I was going to say was right or wrong. I didn't know of any precedent. I read and reread the scriptures. I read contemporary literature. Two factors were most powerful. The first was coming to know and respect women and men whose sexual orientation was different from my own. The second was my gut feeling where the spirit of Christ was leading me. My sense of Jesus' acceptance and inclusiveness of people was decisive. Later I realized that I had been conditioned to feel and think about homosexuality in the same way I had been conditioned in matters of race and class and in issues related to women and men. I felt that, in preach- United Methodist POLITY Having developed in the same historical period, the polity and decision-making structure of the United Methodist Church (UMC) parallels that of the United States government. Both have three basic branches: legislative, executive, and judicial. The General Conference is the legislative body of the UMC The General Conference enacts church law governing all aspects of the denomination from the local congregation to national boards and agencies. This church law is printed as The Book ofDiscipline. The General Conference is the only body which can make statements on behalf of the whole UMC The only constraints on the General Conference are that it must act within bounds of the Constitution of the UMC The General Conference meets every four years and is comprised of approximately 1,000 representatives of the more than 100 annual conferences in the United States and overseas. The conference delegates are evenly divided between laypersons and clergy. The Annual Conference is the basic unit of United Methodism, formed along geographical lines. The annual conference is the body which ordains candidates for ministry and confers their membership into the annual conference. (Each UMC clergyperson is the member of an annual conference.) Representatives of each pastoral charge and all the clergy members of the annual conference gather once a year to hear reports and act on r commendations of the conference boards and agencies. The annual conference can adopt rules and regulations that are not in conflict with The Book of Discipline. The Council ofBishops, the UMC executive branch, oversees the ongoing life of the church, "all matters temporal and spiritual." Bishops are elected for lifetime terms and each serves as the presiding officer of an appointed annual conference or area. The bishop appoints all clergy members of the annual conference to their pastoral charges and nominates personnel for the general church boards and agencies. The judicial branch of United Methodism is the Judicial Council. The nine members of the Judicial Council are elected by the General Conference. The Judicial Council interprets church law and rules on whether legislation conforms to the Constitution of the UMC ing that sermon, I was standing over against all that had conditioned me. It is in remembering where I was and the road I have traveled that enables me to identify with people who stand today where I stood 21 years ago. My change of mind and feelings did not come quickly. The struggle for justice for women is ages long. Black Americans must still demand and work for justice after 400 years on this continent. The puhlic struggle for justice for lesbians and gay men in our society is not yet a generation old. I do not minimize the hidden pain and suffering of the centuries. My counsel is not "Patience!" It certainly is not "Wait!" My counsel is "Perservere with hope remembering that we have come this far by faith." Open Hands/11 I M ost of the articles in this issue look specifically at policies regarding lesbians and gay men within the United Methodist Church. In this section we explore more fully the situation in other denominations-Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Unitarian Universalist, and the United Church ofChrist. In identifying the divergent perceptions of and responses to lesbian and gay concerns within these denominations, an understanding of the nature of each denomination's polity and faith tradition is relevant. The polity-ordecision-making structure-of these denominations ranges from the decentralized locally autonomous Unitarian Universalist and United Church of Christ to the more centralized Presbyterian and Episcopalian denominations. (The United Methodist Church falls in the latter category.) In general, the mainline denominations giving more congregational autonomy have been less restrictive in their official policies toward lesbians and gay men, deferring such policies to the local church level. Denominations that have had to mold national policies to guide all congregations have generally opted for the path of least resistance-maintaining the status quo which excludes and alienates lesbians and gay men. Other factors in comparison are: the nature of biblical interpretation and degree ofbiblical authority inherent in the theological tradition; the existence or absence of a strong tradition for involvement in social justice concerns; the emphasis the denomination has historically placed on personal piety and morality; the degree ofhierarchy in the denominational structure and decision -making. The denominational lines dividing American Christians also extend to the various groups supporting and advocating lesbian and gay concerns. Little dialogue has occurred between these denominational support groups or caucuses over the years. Such dialogue and cooperative efforts may play a significant role in a reconciliation of the general church's ministry with its lesbian and gay constituency. Eric Schuman is former president of the Prairie Star District of the Unitarian Universalist Association. Schuman is a physician's assistant and lives in Topeka. Kansas. He is active in the Unitarian Universalist Lesbian/ Gay Caucus. My friend Charlie and I were driving home from the 1969 General Assembly of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA). The denomination was embroiled in a black empowerment controversy. The upshot of it was that the church voted $500,000 to fund a black Unitarian Universalist organization called the Black Affairs Council organized to fight racism and promote community development projects. The controversy had nearly split the denomination. As we drove Charlie and I were discussing what it meant to be gay and Unitarian Universalist. I made a preposterous hypothesis-what if the UUA were to fund an organization of gay UUs, give it a half million dollars to fight prejudice against homosexual persons, and call it the Gay Affairs Council? Of course, we never got the half million dollars. But in 1970 a group of gay UUs began meeting, formed a caucus, and proposed to that year's General Assembly that the denomination take a stand condemning prejUdice against homosexual persons and calling on the denomination and its churches to end discrimination in employment practices against gay men and lesbians. As so often happens in emotionally charged debates over controversial issues, the opposition created a climate that was partly responsible for our success. A leading, outspoken minister from New York, a gubernatorial candidate with a record of commitment on other civil rights concerns, compared the proposed resolution to the advocacy of affirmative action for those practicing bestiality. As the story was related to me, following this speech, the proponents of the resolution closed debate, and the measure was adopted overwhelmingly. During the next two years, the caucus members worked to develop another proposal to bring before the General Assembly, this time to establish a Unitarian Universalist "Office of Gay Affairs," which would be responsible for implementing the 1970 resolution by assigning a staff person at UUA headquarters. This Office of Gay Concerns was created in 1974. In 1977, it was Anita Bryant's anti-gay "Save Our Children" campaign in Miami that was responsible for a resolution on a gay topic. The General Assembly called on "all Unitarian Universalists to use their efforts in stopping such biased persecution and intolerance." While a significant number of lesbians and gay men had been graduated from the UUA's three seminaries, until 1980 no openly gay or lesbian person had been "settled" in a UUA pulpit, although at least a dozen gay persons served as parish ministers and were known to be homosexual. Both gay men and lesbians had the experience of candidating for parish positions while openly gay, being unable to find work, then returning to the "closet" (i.e., changing their written 12/ 0pen Hands biographical material) and quickly thereafter landing a position. How to address this problem? In typical UUA fashion, by passing a resolution, of course! So, in 1980, the General Assembly urged the churches to renew their commitment to end discrimination by "lending full assistance in the settlement ofqualified openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual religious leaders." The results: none. Openly gay men and lesbians continued to be frustrated in their efforts to find parish positions despite verbal and moral support from the Department of Ministry. Interestingly, settled gay male ministers one by one began to come out in their churches. Although stirrings were plenty in their congregations, none was fired as a result. By 1983 five or six openly gay male ministers were serving congregations, but no open lesbians were. Only one man had candidated for a pulpit as openly gay and been hired. It seemed that the problem of settlement could be addressed at the denominational level by conducting a workshop on homophobia in hiring for the "ministerial settlement representatives" who assisted congregations seeking the services of religious professionals. The then UUA vice president agreed to implement that idea, and the homophobia training workshop was held in February 1984 for ministerial settlement representatives from around the continent. Out of those meetings a new proposal to help openly gay/lesbian ministers in the settlement process was implemented, and the settlement representatives were sensitized to the challenge of the task they faced. 1984 marked the adoption of a "Services of Union" resolution at the General Assembly. This resolution had been rejected in 1982 and 1983, partly because it was competing with other resolutions of global importance for a place on the agenda, but also because many UUs (including lesbians and gay men) believed it was unnecessary because everyone knew that many UUA ministers commonly performed such services. However, the resolution was important because of an incident in Washington, D.C. in 1981. A gay assistant minister had conducted a service of union for a lesbian couple in the church sanctuary. A fullpage picture of the ceremony had been published in a national periodical without the minister's knowledge. Some members of the congregation strongly objected, and a policy was adopted there which prohibited gay/lesbian services of union in the sanctuary and which permitted the assistant minister to perform them elsewhere only under the direct supervision of the senior minister. The assistant minister was subsequently fired, although the public reasons given by the church had nothing to do with the incident. We worked hard for the passage of the Services of Union resolution because we felt it was important for the General Assembly to make a statement that supported the freedom of choice for ministers who chose to perform gay unions. When the resolution came to the floor, debate was extended to two hours. When the question was finally called, the resolution was overwhelminglyadopted. The UUA supported the Office of Gay Concerns for 11 years. When Robert Wheatly retired as the director in 1985, after several years of service, it was recommended that $10,000 be given to the Lesbian/ Gay Caucus to fund its own programs and that the amount granted each year be decreased as the organization generated its own sources of income. The denominational newspaper, the UU World, has become increasingly sensitive to gay-related issues over the past several years. The editor personally covered the winter 1984 gay/lesbian UU convocation. The November 1985 issue devoted nine articles to the topic of AIDS, which represented the most space ever given to a single subject in the paper's recent history. Some gay men and lesbians continue to be alienated and deeply hurt by the church. Nevertheless, the church remains the place many of us will stay. We love it, and we hate it. We strive to make it more perfect, more loving, and to make it more closely represent the ideals we hold dear in our religious lives. Open Hands/13 I Ten years ago, at its General Convention in Minneapolis, the Episcopal Church went on record with its pastoral concern for homosexual persons and expressed its conviction that such persons are entitled to equal protection of the civil laws that apply to all other citizens. A resolution passed by the convention stated that "homosexual persons are children of God who have a full and equal claim with all other persons upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral concern and care of the Church." Another resolution not only said that they have equal rights under the law but called upon society to see that such protection is "provided in actuality." These two principles have been reaffirmed by each succeeding triennial General Convention of the church. Although stated and approved in resolution form for the first time in 1976, these principles actually grew out of a concern long felt by many persons across the denomination about human sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular. The Committee on Human Affairs and Health (CHAH) of the House of Bishops had been delving into the matter for several years. At that same General Convention, that committee presented another resolution calling for a churchwide study and dialogue in every diocese about human sexuality "as it pertains to various aspects of life, particularly living styles, employment, housing and education." S ome dioceses did indeed engage in such study and dialogue, although not all. Many, including the Diocese of Los Angeles, appointed task forces for in-depth study, and those Randolph B. Kimler is programs manager for Cathedral Ministries in the Diocese of Los Angeles, Episcopal Church in the U.SA. task forces in turn held conferences or seminars for the rest of the diocese. There is no doubt that many church members' consciousness about sexuality was raised considerably as a result of these three years of study. However, in some quarters, alarms were raised as well. In 1979 the General Convention was asked again by the CHAH to consider the matter of ordaining gay men and lesbians to the priesthood. A majority of the church was not ready to make a statement of its willingness to do that. However, in acting on the matter the Convention came up with an unusual resolution that for the first time specifically related homosexual celibacy to marital fidelity or heterosexual chastity outside marriage. Reaffinning the traditional teaching of the church on "marriage, marital fidelity, and sexual chastity as the standard of Christian sexual morality," the resolution, passed by the House of Bishops and the House of Deputies, said that, "it is not appropriate for this church to ordain a practicing homosexual, or any person who is engaged in heterosexual relations outside marriage." This resolution received a large opposition vote in the House of Bishops, and a group of 21 bishops signed a statement saying that they couid not in conscience abide by its restrictive wording. A growing number of bishops subsequently found that 1979 resolution more restrictive than they would like for it to have been regarding the ordination of lesbians and gay men. However, at the rI 1985 General Convention it became clear that the majority of the denomination is not willing yet to take a further step. A resolution that would have admitted homosexual persons to the process that could lead to ordination was defeated in the House of Deputies. Meanwhile, the general pastoral concern of the church for gay persons has increased as the nation has faced the increasing problem of AIDS, first seen as a homosexual disease and later recognized as a health problem for all persons. The 1985 General Convention offered a forum for education, public awareness, and dialogue about AIDS. The convention urged each diocese to establish a pastoral concern committee on homosexuality to foster better understanding, dispel myths and prejudices, provide pastoral support, and give life to the claim of gay men and lesbians upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral care of the church as established by the 1976 convention. 'l'.,e convention also spoke to .I. ~he tragic human suffering and loss of life in the AIDS epidemic. It charged the church's Executive Council to develop special intercessory prayers and also programs of awareness, education, prevention, and identification and to fund those programs by March of this year. Also by resolution the convention repudiated all indiscriminate statements that condemn or reject AIDS patients and asked the presiding bishop to urge the president of the United States to provide long-term, substantial federal funding of research about the disease. 14/0pen Hands e 1976 General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church~Church (U.S.A.) was asked by the Presbytery of Western New York and by other presbyteries to give "definitive guidance" concerning the eligibility for ordination to the professional ministry of persons who openly acknowledge homosexual orientation and practice. In the Presbyterian system, ordination of local church elders and deacons is the responsibility of the local congregation and the ordination of ministers is the responsibility of the presbytery. In response to these requests the 1976 General Assembly established a task force to make a two-year study of this question including such issues as concept of ordination, biblical background for the understanding of homosexuality, and psychological conclusions regarding homosexuality. The task force studied its mandate and prepared study materials for use by local congregations, presbyteries, and synods and also conducted hearings across the country to gain input into its report. The report of the task force was sent to the 1978 General Assembly which then appointed a standing committee to review it and to make recommendations to the General Assembly. The report of the task force recommended ordination for gay men and lesbians who were qualified according to the Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) The report also contained an extensive review of the various positions on the authority and interpretation of the Bible, psychological studies on homosexuality, recommendations on social justice Merrill M. Follansbee is assistant pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Sacramento. California. Mr. Follansbee is an outspoken activist for lesbian/gay rights and an active leader in Parents and Friends ofLesbians and Gays. for gay men and lesbians, dialogue and ministry to and with gay men and lesbians, combatting homophobia, and a continuing study of the subject in local congregations, presbyteries, and synods. The General Assembly adopted the report of the task force, with the exception of the recommendation in favor of ordination of gay men and lesbians as elders, deacons, and ministers. The assembly further diluted the message of the report by adding some words, including: "We do conclude that homosexuality is not God's wish for humanity." (See RESOURCES, p. 24, for information on obtaining a copy of the report.) The report also recommended that the church continue to study the subject of homosexuality. The extent to which this had been done is disappointing. However, there are some developments that should be noted. Gay men, lesbians, and others who support them have organized Presbyterians for Lesbians and Gay Concerns (PLGC). This group has chapters throughout the country, publishes resource materials, holds conferences, and has status as an affiliated organization within the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). It seeks to have an impact on the denomi nation. In response to a program InItiated by PLGC, several local congregations have become "More Light" churches and have taken a position ofwelcoming gay men and lesbians into their life, leadership, and ministry. In response to overtures from presbyteries, two General Assemblies have requested the general church to provide study resources. A consultation on homophobia was held at Stony Point, New York, in October 1984. The report of this conference has been published and made available as a study resource to congregations, presbyteries, and synods. * In Buffalo, New York, the Westminster Presbyterian Church (a More Light congregation), believing that the 1978 General Assembly exceeded its authority regarding ordination, notified the Presbytery of Western New York that it intended to ordain gay men and lesbians as elders and deacons in the local church. Agreeing with that congregation, the Presbytery of Western New York voted to approve this action. On appeal from some of the local churches in Western New York, the Synod of New England sustained the Presbytery and upheld the local church action. The General Assembly referred this appeal to its Permanent Judicial Commission. In January 1985, this commission announced its decision reversing the synod and the presbytery, thus upholding the 1978 General Assembly directive prohibiting such ordinations. (continued) *"Breaking th e Silence. Overcoming th e Fear: Homophobia Education" can be obtainedfrom the Program Agency. Presbyterian Church (USA.). 475 River<;ide Drive. Ne~v Yo rk. NY 10II5. Open Hands/ 15 (presbyterian, continued) 'l'.,e struggle within this denomi.I. ~ation remains an emotional and intense one. It is part of the wider struggle for human dignity In 1985, the General Synod of the United Church of Christ (UCC) overwhelmingly adopted a resolution calling on all congregations and agencies of the denomination to adopt a policy of openness to and affirmation of lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. This vote was the result of several years' work to encourage more active dialogue on lesbian/gay concerns in local churches. This resolution has initiated an official denominational program for local churches to declare themselves "Open and Affirming," thus differing from the independent efforts of the More Light (Presbyterian), Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist), and Reconciled-inChrist (Lutheran) programs. Lesbian and gay issues came to the forefront in the UCC in 1972 when I was ordained as an openly gay minister by the Golden Gate Association of the UCC. The national and religious media coverage of that event resulted in a number of letters being sent to me. From those initial contacts the United Church Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (UCCL/ and freedom in our society. Many gay men and lesbians, desiring to combine their God-given sexuality with their commitment to Jesus Christ and the church, feel that they have been treated as lepers, and they have left the church. Some remain as members but are deeply Dr. William Johnson, a UCC minister and certified sexologist, is founder of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. GC) was founded later that year. Two coalition members were seated as nonvoting delegates to the 1973 General Synod, establishing UCCL/GC as a duly recognized "special interest group" within the denomination. Two years later the 1975 General Synod, by a vote of 546-135, adopted a major social policy Pronouncement on Civil Liberties without Discrimination Related to Affectional or Sexual Preference. T wo other resolutions were also passed by the 1975 General Synod. One called on the UCC Office for Church Life and Leadership to provide nonjudgmental counseling resources and bibliographic materials on homosexuality. The other commissioned a human sexuality study by the UCC Board for Homeland Ministries. The preliminary report of this study commission, including 18 specific programmatic recommendations, was accepted at the 1977 General Synod (see RESOURCES, wounded, as are their families. Many nongay members of the church see the church's treatment of homosexuals as a denial of the gospel. These issues will not go away-the struggle continues. p. 24). Also, in response to Anita Bryant's campaign that revoked the anti-discrimination law in Dade County, Florida, the General Synod passed a resolution deploring the violation of the civil rights of gay and bisexual persons and the use of Scripture to generate hatred. Concurrent with these policy statements on the civil rights of lesbians and gay men, the UCC was dealing with issues about internal church policy. In 1973, in response to my ordination the year before, the UCC's Executive Council (which acts when the biennial General Synod is not in session) had adopted a statement recommending that UCC associations, when considering a lesbian or gay candidate for ordination, give serious consideration to the position that "the issue of ordaining a gay man or lesbian should not be his or her homosexuality as such, but rather the candidate's total view of human sexuality and his or her understanding of the morality of its expression." Yet during the 1970s most associations ignored the Executive Council's recommendations. In 1980, the Executive Council revised its Equal Employment 16/ 0pen Hands Opportunity (EEO) policy adding "sexual preference" to the list of bases of nondiscrimination. In 1981, the EEO policy was amended again with "sexual preference" being changed to "sexual orientation." Ten years of education and advocacy of lesbian/gay concerns within the UCC culminated in the actions of the 1983 and 1985 General Synods. The 1983 synod overwhelmingly adopted a resolution on institutionalized homophobia which "denounce[d] institutionalized expressions of homophobia in all its forms and call[ed] upon all levels of the UCC to expose, to address, and in light of the gospel, to transform institutionalized homophobia, eliminating its effects within the church." Other resolutions adopted by the 1983 General Synod: 1) called on the Board for Homeland Ministries to include lesbian/gay concerns in its family life programs and resources; 2) recommended election of open lesbians and gay men to association church and ministry committees, which review the standing of ministers and approve candidates for ordination; and 3) addressed a number of issues related to the AIDS crisis. Also in 1983, the final report of the Task Force for the Study of Human Sexuality, commissioned in 1975, was presented with significant recommendations. The first of these called on UCC churches to work to end racial and sexual violence against women, children, people of color, and lesbians and gay men. The second ofthese called on the Board for Homeland Ministries to hire new staff to gather resources and to facilitate local church ministries to lesbians, gay men, and their families. Finally related to employment and ordination, the task force recommended that the General Synod recommend to associations that "in considering a candidate's qualifications for ministry, a candidate's heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual orientation, in and of itself, should not be grounds for denying the request for ordination." It also recomended that the General Synod advocate support of "nondiscrimination based on sexual orientation within the UCC, including all hiring and firing of lay and clergy personnel and use of volunteers within the life of the church: local churches, associations, conferences, national instrumentalities and agencies." These recommendations were approved by the 1983 General Synod by a large majority. An "Open and Affirming" resolution was presented to that same 1983 General Synod, but it was referred to the Executive Council for "study and possible action." The Executive Council subsequently mistakenly judged that the resolution's subject matter had already been addressed by previous General Synods and recommended no action. Meanwhile, the Massachusetts Conference, meeting in 1984, passed a revised "Open and Affirming" resolution. This resolution called on all UCC churches in Massachusetts to declare themselves "open and affirming of lesbian, gay and bisexual persons" and to adopt nondiscrimination policies. An implementation committee planned day-long workshops on how to become "Open and Affirming" congregations and created other resources for local churches. The Massachusetts Conference also submitted its "Open and Affirming" resolution for placement on the agenda of the 1985 General Synod. The "Open and Affirming" resolution was crucial because it raised concerns that had never been meaningfully addressed within the UCC. Local congregations had never been strongly urged to adopt nondiscrimination policies nor provided with resources for doing so. The intent of the resolution was to make the fight against discrimination against lesbians and gay men within the church a denominational responsibility and to facilitate dialogue in each UCC congrega tion. There was much resistance to placing this resolution on the agenda of the 1985 General Synod. It took concerted efforts by many supportive delegates from several conferences and a strong presence by UCCL/GC to get the resolution before the General Synod and to secure its adoption. Central to the lobbying effort were the personal testimonials of more than 40 openly gay and lesbian UCC members. In the end, the "Open and Affirming" resolution was adopted by a 95% majority of the General Synod delegates. Now the challenge is implementation. General Synod actions are only recommendations to local churches. UCCL/GC is urging the UCC Office of Church Life and Leadership to implement the resolution by developing resources to enable local church dialogue. Two consultants are on staff at the Board for Homeland Ministries to provide information and guidance on ministries with lesbians, gay men, bisexual persons, and their families. UCCL/GC is encouraging its members to actively initiate "Open and Affirming" statements in their home congregations. We are striving to directly involve United Church of Christ congregations in the movement to end discrimination. We know the "Open and Affirming" resolution will be ignored by many UCC congregations, but some will engage in the education and dialogue so essential to the opening of hearts and minds. In this entire process, we believe the true expression of Christian discipleship has been and will continue to be revealed: the personification of God's love in human community through faith, not fear. Open Hands/I 7 f!3ulfaining flje f!3pitif Reading , '~elieve that Gay culture at its heart is continually, how. I... ~er unconsciously, trying to reveal the other side, sometimesjust to reveal the fact that there are sides. I believe we do this with regard to the sexes, to work roles, to the world oj judgment and value, oj aesthetics, ojphilosophies. oj other realms oj consciousness. We act out irony. essential humor, and paradox . ... In tribal culture we often Jormed a pool ofpotential initiates some oj whom became the shamans and medicine people who can enter the spirit world, the wind, the mountains and rivers and the bottom oj the sea; the worlds oj the dead. or spirits, oj other people's minds, oj the gods and their Jorces; we it is who bring back the strange and old messages, interpreting them Jor the benefit ojour tribe. Anciently we were sometimes rewarded and esteemed Jor this, though I don't doubt we were more than once stoned out oj town or tarred and Jeathered. We can be velY aggravating, moody people, even to ourselves. And oj course we don't always bring good or easy news. What we perhaps have at the core is an uncanny ability to identify with what we are not, to die as one Jorm and return as another, to go Jrom shy cocoon to rampant butterfly. to enter the wolves' den to learn the wolves' wisdom and return uneaten, though not unmarked. We have been the oracles and inspired divin ers, the mediums who interpret the stars, the cards, the kings idle remarks. the weather and innards ojJowls, . the gossip, the history and poetry and saga oj a people. And we remain remarkably tuned to a particular inner vision that is compelling to us. leading us into sometimes painJul, /sometimesJ grueling, /sometimesJ lonely. /sometimes joyJulJ lives. .. [Reprinted with pennission from Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay Worlds, Beacon Press, 1984, pp. 273-4.] qFFirming Our min-)triC!) Litany LEADER: We are fortunate, today, to be able to gather as a people of the church. As men and women; as gay and lesbian and bi-sexual and straight; as people of many origins and backgrounds. ALL: We gather as a community with a common task of seeking justice, of living in shalom, of prophesying to the church, and to the many communities that our lives touch. We are teachers, prophets, healers, interpreters, lovers of life. LEADER: We confess, however, that we too often find comfort in our cocoons. ALL: Rather, like butterflies, we reach out to one another and risk transfonnation. LEADER: / And we confess that we too often shun the voices of the shamans and spirits within and amongst us. ALL: Rather, we dare to listen and learn from one another. LEADER: Each of us is called, as a member of this community, to offer our gifts to the common journey. Our gifts are diverse, our gifts are unique, our gifts are not replaceable. Today, we affinn our loving and inclusive ministries with one another. ALL: From the God within us, we affinn our love-ministries. We smile in joyful acceptance of our loves, and our lives, and our gifts which we share as a community. LEADER: God, who is our mother, father, friend, and lover-send us out from this community as your people. LEFT: We gather strength for the journey as the Hebrew people gathering manna. RIGHT: We store wisdom as the shaman leaders storing herbs and knowledge. LEFT: We put on courage as Amazon women putting on armor for the battle. RIGHT: And we go in laughter and joy, as children in love with our world. ALL: Sustaining Spirit, send us forth, empowering each other and empowering those we meet on our journeys to use our gifts in the work for healing, and justice, and shalom. We ask your presence on our common journey. Amen. i 8/0pen Hands By Richard E. Husky, M.D. Decisions made at the past few General Conferences demonstrate that the United Methodist Church has clearly chosen a noninclusive direction in its treatment of gay men and lesbians. Beginning with the 1972 conference in Atlanta, the church started an avalanche of activity that ultimately has affected our theological assumptions. When the church, at the 1984 General Conference in Baltimore, officially closed ordination to gay men and lesbians, it essentially restructured its theology. A church cannot exclude a significant population from full participation in its community without automatically changing the very nature-and, therefore, the theological basis-of that community. Ultimately, we gay and lesbian United Methodists were defamed in our humanity and declared to be "incompatible with Christian teaching." Rather than ask, question, quiz, poll, or subpoena us about our belief in Jesus Christ or about our lifestyles, the General Conference acted in bad faith by defaming people it did not care to understand or know. Under most systems of justice, this would be considered an intolerable situation and as ugly a history as any inquisition or kangaroo court. Quite simply, the General Conference acted out of homophobia (fear of homosexuals), rather than out of faith and trust in God's world. As a result of the United Methodist Church's abandoning gay and lesbian United Methodists through denying our equal right to pursue the call to ordained ministry, many of its beliefs and assertions have become meaningless. This is especially true when it comes to the church's delivering on the promises made to us when we were baptized. Quite simply, the church has caused the waters of baptism to dry up. Baptism is a covenant that prescribes a certain form of relationship between the church and the person being baptized-child or adult; gay, lesbian, or straight. In the sacrament, the church agrees to provide for specific forms of nurture in the life of the person being baptized-promising that he or she will be "surrounded by steadfast love," "established in the faith," and "confirmed and strengthened in the way that leads to life eternal." The United Methodist Church may indeed want to deliver on these promises, but this nurture is withheld from persons being baptized if they are gay or lesbian. Instead of being loved, established, confirmed, and strengthened, we have been hated, castigated, and shunned. Most of us can recite a cacophony of abuses and mistreatment by so-called well-intentioned Christians. Many of us have experienced more rejection, hostility, and abuse in the "family of God" than in our biological families. For unlike an institution that marginalizes persons without knowing them, many of our families have come to know and, in many cases, affirm us, experiencing us as whole human beings, capable of leading lives centered in commitment and devo- ORDINATION:THE Richard E. Husky, M.D. is a former member ofthe Minnesota Annual Conference (UMC). Subsequently trained as a physician, Husk}' is an active UMC layperson and lives in St. Pau l, Minnesota. tion to God. Our families know we are good Christians, and they have experienced the many ways we inject both quality and zest into Christian life. These findings are being shared by members of the Reconciling Congregations in our denomination. What recourse do we have? First, we do what we always do so well-we pray for the person being baptized, that he or she will be "surrounded in steadfast love, established in the faith, and confirmed and strengthened in the way that leads to life eternal." Second, we continue to hold our church accountable for its words and deeds. For example, when the bishops in the church complain that membership is rapidly dropping, we remind them that Christians are no foolspeople go where they are fed, and the United Methodist Church's treatment of its gay and lesbian members frequently embitters the food the church offers. The United Methodist Church is unlikely to grow until it takes care of its "old" business with us, learns to feed all who come, and makes good on its promises. Open Hands/19 RDI NATION: THE UX? Bishop Slater was interrupted by an unknown young man with a group of unshaven and disorderly spectators sitting near the pulpit. The young man finally introduced himselfas a representative from the "Gay Liberation Group" and tried to read a protest from a printed page which branded the ministerial body as being hypocrites, and with other undefinable shouts [sic]. After a series ofexchange of words, it was moved that a 10-minute maximum be set to hear the representative. The motion was denied. Monday night business session, May 31, 1971, 7 p.m., San Antonio, Texas, 113th Annual Session, Southwest Texas Annual Conference, The United Methodist Church ose ByF. Gene Leggett F. Gene Leggett is afonner member ofthe Soutlnvest Texas Annual Conference (UMC). He is nowa member of Oak Lawn UMC (Dallas) and works for the Fort Worth Opera Company. I had been warned never to face the enemy alone. Because lesbian and gay people were primarily an invisible minority, it was important that we be seen in groups that were as large as possible. A true revolution would need to reflect the group oppression of the minority rather than the concerns of an injured individual. Besides, it could be just plain scary to face alone the hostility of a large group of straight folks! I discovered this truth in 1970 at a called session of the ministerial delegates of the Southwest Texas Annual Conference. Prior to that session, I had not attended a gathering of my conference since 1965, when I had privately admitted my homosexuality. Since then, I had had an unwritten agreement with conference hierarchy that I could keep my credentials, if I did not request a local church appointment. The special 1970 session had been called to discuss a "crisis" that existed among the conference's clergy. At it, I publicly confirmed for my fellow ministers what they had gossiped about for five years-that I had an experimental house church for gay men and lesbians. Bedlam erupted as ministers shouted for an "on the spot" church trial, and the bishop immediately adjourned the session. The conference hierarchy began urging me to take voluntary location or retirement at the 1971 regular annual conference session so that I could maintain my credentials. But, because I felt called to a ministry denied to the church at large, I refused. Knowledge that the 1971 conference would deal with my ordination brought together a number of gay people from across the state. Most of them had at one time had close relationships to the church, with some having earlier contemplated entering the ordained ministry. All saw the church as the focusiof their oppression and felt that they had nothing to lose through confrontation. I, on the other hand, still had my credentials at stake. It was agreed that these activists' actions before the conference would remain separate from mine, although I pledged them my support. My strategy was to remain faithful to proper ecclesiastical procedure. The possibility was there for the church truly to be the church. While the probability of my retaining my credentials was virtually nonexistent, I knew that my challenge, through due process, was necessary to break the demonic pattern that was the church's method of dealing with "exposed" clergy. 1 ~ The Monday night session began in the usual manner, with a hymn and salutary amenities. Then, the request came that the "gay voice" be heard in the church. A motion was made and denied. Cries of "hypocrites" and "Pharisees" came from the activists; delegates rushed from their seats to drag the protesters from the church, while others shouted "Get the queers out of here!" I was sitting in the eye of the storm; the "gay issue" was being born, and the church was responding with violent denial. Friends ran to where I remained seated, tears streaming down my face. They begged me to stop the protesters, to control them, but I replied, "They are your children; you must talk to them." After a 10-minute recess, order was restored, and the majority of the conference voted that the protesters be given the fi nal five minutes of the session. At the agreed time, one of them-in a quiet, emotionally charged voice-read a prepared petition. After declaring that "It cannot be historically denied that the Church as an institution has covertly and systematically condoned and implemented the oppression of homosexual women and men," the statement made 10 demands of the conference. Among these were that the conference accept "the authenticity of the gay life style"; "in light of its historical oppression, ... make sizeable reparations to gay people in the form of programs, facilities, and money"; 20/0pen Hands L srupte ?• ~ and "cease the harassment of Gene Leggett and support in all ways necessary-including financial-" my house church. The minutes of that business session conclude, "After several announcements, the benediction was pronounced by the Rev. Allen G. Roe, Sr." The petition was not entered into the record, and no reply was ever made. But a gay voice had been heard! The next day, after painful debate, my credentials were removed by involuntary location. The vote was 144 in favor, 117 against. Two ministers turned in their credentials in sympathetic protest; audible sobs punctuated a deathly silence. Outside the conference, a custodian comforted me, "Don't worry, honey. Somebody up there gave you credentials they can't touch!" Every year since that conference, the gay/lesbian issue has been raised, not only in Southwest Texas but across United Methodism. In the Southwest Texas conference, delegates still speak indignantly of "the Disruption of '71." I reply that it is not to be compared with the disruption that church and society continues to cause in the lives of its lesbian and gay children. Every year, I request that my credentials be restored; every year, I plead that the church listen to the cries of its child ren. ORD-.-.OS I NATION: TH E u ~The of the ose By Jeffrey G. Snyder Jeffrey G. Snyder is serving a United Methodist congregation as an elder in the California-Nevada Conference. Ben and I met our very first day at seminary. It didn't take us long to discover that we were soul mates. That first term, we agonized together over all sorts of new ideas. We spent hours studying together, developing joint class projects, and working on field assignments. We had countless late night bull sessions. We debated politics, sports, family planning, child rearing, abortion, drugs, booze, and homosexuality. In January when Ben married Jayne, I participated in their wedding. Our families remained close throughout seminary. Ben and I were really good friends-more like brothers. We were always there for each other. I entered the appointment process before Ben and was ordained first. When Ben was ordained, I was deeply moved when he asked me to be one of the participating elders in his service and to take part in the laying on of hands. After that, as Ben and I worked with various cabinets and district superintendents, we always sought each other's counsel on new appointments. When one of us had to go with our spouse for an interview, the other couple would keep the children and vice versa. Ben delighted in my daughter and I was thrilled with his son. When Ben and Jayne's second child was born, my family took a few vacation days to visit and assist them. During that visit, Ben asked me if we could take a walk. There was something he had wanted to tell me for a long time. That night, as we walked through the old cemetery by his church, Ben confided to me that he was gay. He said he had known since he was 13. His parents had been horrified at the thought and put him in therapy. Although therapy calmed his parents, it only forced Ben into the closet. Throughout college, Ben cruised bookstores and (continued) Open Hands/ 21 ORDI AT ON:THE RUX? Cost of the Closet (continued) bars. He hated himself for such behavior but felt compelled to explore this part of himself through the only means his closet would allow. It was also during these college years that Ben felt called to the ordained ministry. Then he met Jayne. Pulled together through common political interests, Ben and Jayne fast became friends. They so enjoyed each other's company, that marriage seemed like a logical step. Ben reasoned, "Every pastor needs a spouse and maybe this marriage will change me." It didn't. Soon after the wedding, the cruising began again. Ben's paranoia grew. Jayne didn't know of Ben's homosexuality. Nor did his congregation, Board of Ordained Ministry, or bishop. But Ben knew, and he needed to tell someone. As his best friend and "brother," I was the natural choice. For the next several years, we shared Ben's secret. Then one night our phone rang. It was Jayne. She was sobbing. Ben had just told her. It was their sixth wedding anniversary. Jayne came to stay with us for a few days. Later Ben joined her. There was much pain and grief, and many tears. But it was also the beginning of a new honesty between them. Over the next year, Ben and Jayne worked hard to save their relationship. They were determined to stay together and find ways that Ben could come to accept and affirm himself and his homosexuality. Together, Ben and Jayne sought counseling. Ben joined a very discreet support group for gay clergy in his area. With Jayne's support, Ben found avenues for ministry within the gay community. He began preaching regularly on Sunday evenings at a nearby gay church. He came out to his parents and family. He shared his secret wi th a few trusted lay people within his congregation. They supported Ben. As he came more out of the closet, he was happier, healthier, and a better pastor than I had ever known him to be. In the early months of 1984, Ben decided to confi de in his seemingly open and caring district superintendent. During their conversation, the D.S. seemed to sense where the discussion was leading. Abruptly, he made it clear that he didn't want to know anything that he might have to share at "a higher level." He reminded Ben that the climate of the church was not supportive of Ben's liberal views on homosexuality. The General Conference of 1984 would soon take a stand on gay issues. And until that stance was known, the D.S. felt it necessary to postpone the conversation with Ben. That conversation was never to be resumed. That day began a new stage of paranoia for Ben. He became more withdrawn. He stopped preaching at the gay church and stopped attending his support group. Afte r the 1984 General Conference made its negative decisions, Ben sank into a deep depression. He felt that the church that he loved, and had served for many years, didn't want him fo r who he was. Our phone conversations, which had once been long, intimate times of sharing, became polite talk about our churches and . 22/0pen Hands children. When I pushed Ben to know how he felt or what was happening, his answers were always the same. He would reply, ''I'm fine! Everything's great!" But it wasn't. In June 1984 Jayne called to tell me that Ben had experienced "some sort of a breakdown" and had been hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. Since then, Ben has been in a period of strong denial. He is deeply closeted and hasn't called or written in over a year. I've called him a few times, but he doesn't want to talk. There is a tension in his voice as he tells me that everything is "just fine." He loves ministry. He loves the people he is pastoring. He fears losing that. The action of the 1984 General Conference weighs hea'vily on his mind. He wants to be left alone, in his closet. The decision of the church to deny the ordination and appointment of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals" has cost Ben a great deal. He pays the cost every day in fear, panic, tension, poor health, and selfrejection. It is costing his parish too. Their pastor isn't free to be himself. He is physically ill much of the time. He is distracted and wonders why God continues to call him to a task that the church says he isn't worthy to perform. The cost is high. And Ben's closet is also costly to the general church. Through its homophobia, it has caused Ben and many others like him to compromise their integrity and dignity. They have heen driven to deny an intrinsic part of themselves and to retreat to the closet of paranoia and deceit. How can a church commissioned to be light for the world, challenged by Christ to offer persons the life abundant, and committed to a compassionate God, condemn any of its clergy or laity to the closet, and yet maintain its own integrity, dignity, and honesty? The cost of the closet is very great-to the church, to the ministry of Christ, to every gay or lesbian person called to the ministry, to every lay person who would receive the gifts of that ministry, to Ben, and to me. You see, Ben hasn't called or written in over a year. fA note to readers: "Ben" and "Jayne" are fictitious names chosen in order to protect th e tme identities ofth e subjects ofthis account./ I am a deacon with probationary membership in an annual conference of the United Methodist Church. I am currently serving in a special appointment after a few years of pastoring in the local church. I will be interviewed soon for elder's orders. And I am a lesbian. About ten years ago, I went through a time of searching in my life. During that time, I not only decided to answer God's call to ordained ministry, but I also "came out" to myself as a lesbian. I learned that God was calling me forth in both my vocation and my lifestyle as I sought to be faithful. I had mixed feelings. I was excited about going into ministry and relieved at knowing my sexual orientation. But I was also confused about how ordination and my sexual identity could be lived out in the United Methodist Church. My consistent response to this confusion has been to journey in faith, trusting my loving God. As I began to move forward in this trust, God blessed me with the love of a woman with whom I continue to share my life. She was, and continues to be, an active layperson in the Anon~ous ·__~~~~~_____ United Methodist Church. I went to seminary with the support of my partner. I entered seminary thinking that I could keep my lesbianism to myself. But I found that keeping it a secret, especially from people with whom I had developed deep friendships, felt like a suppression of my God-given life energy. During these years, given the church's stance on homosexual clergy, I realized that to continue my ordination process, I needed to take an involuntary vow of silence. When I chose to tell others of my lesbianism, they too were burdened with this silence. During my interviews for deacon's orders, I was never asked about my sexual orientation. However, I lived in fear of being confronted and having to defend myself. I was ordained upon graduation and sought appointment to a local church. I risked both my vocation and appointment by entrusting the knowledge of my identity with a cabinet member. That encounter was a positive one. Through it, we were able to arrange an appropriate appointment which met my needs and was also convenient for my partner. My first full-time appointment was a good match for me. As my new congregation's first woman pastor, we made the necessary adjustments to each other. My partner and I continued to live together and we both worked hard at taking care of the congregation. We also ORDINATION:THE labored to keep our togetherness inconspicuou worked to maintain the appropriate image exp of me by the congregation, as I worried about jeopardizing my chances for elders' orders. My partner and I convinced ourselves that the work and situation were tolerable. Although we were not open about the fullness of our relationship with members of the congregation, we felt loved and accepted as people who cared for one another. They let us know that they respected and appreciated our friendship. This, of course, was bittersweet because we, like most people, wanted to be loved for exactly who we were. I often wondered whether the congregation would have been as accepting of us had they known the full extent of our relationship. Unfortunately, I don't think they would have been. That saddens me. My seminary and ministry experiences have been affected by the fears, stresses, and worries surrounding my life as a lesbian within the church. It has taken its toll on my health and the health of my relationship with my partner. The energy I have expended to censor expression of my life has affected my integrity. Now that I am in a special appointment, I am not as pressured to uphold the image expected by the local church. However, out of my own experience, I am now aware that the church perpetuates the fears, tensions, and low selfesteems of its gay and lesbian seminarians and clergy. What I have come to realize is that by participating in keeping my sexual identity a secret, I not only have hurt myself and my relationship, but I also have protected the church. But the church does not need protection from me or my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. Gay men and lesbians carry the burden that the United Methodist Church refuses to accept as its own mission. As long as the church remains in the closet about the good news of Christ it has to share with both lesbian/gay and straight persons, it is repressing its own life energy. As I consider my own situation and experience as a Christian lesbian, I am grateful for the opportunity to tell my story. I do not tell it in anger, for I love the church. My life has been blessed for four decades by many loving people within the United Methodist Church. I would like to believe that I can rise above the negative experiences and act as if God has already liberated me from the oppression of homophobia and freed me up to live fully and faithfully in Christ. Iknow that I will continue to struggle as a lesbian clergyperson within the United Methodist Church. And I know others will face similar struggles as God continues to call gays and lesbians into the ministry. I continually ask whether the often painful journeys are worth it all. But along with the pain which I carry, I also carry the hope of healing for myself and the church. This hope and the love of friends gives me the courage to continue in my journey of Christian faith. Open Hands/23 For ~urther study, reflection, and actlOn, we offer a sampling of denominational reports and study d?cuments and of books dealing WIth theological/biblical perspectives on human sexuality and homosexuality. For more information on activities on lesbian/gay concerns in the various denominations, contact the denominational organizations listed below. Reports/Study Documents UNITED PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH (U.S.A.) Sexuality and the Human Community. The Task Force on Human Sexuality. This report was authorized by the 182nd General Assembly. Published in 1970, it covers biblical and theological foundations, Christian goals for interpersonal relationships, and specific sexuality issues. The Church and Homosexuality. This report was commissioned in 1976 and received by the 190th General Assembly (1978). Contains the background paper of the Task Force to Study Homosexuality and the policy statement and recommendations adopted by the General Assembly. (62 pages.) ' Can be ordered from: The Office of the General Assembly, 120 l' Interchurch Center, 475 Riverside Drive, New York, NY 10027. UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST Human Sexuality: A Preliminary Study. Board/or Homeland Ministries. Authorized by the 1975 General Synod and accepted at the 1977 General Synod, this report was produced by the Task Force to Study Human Sexuality. Comprehensive in covering biblical/theological, ethical, psychosocial, public policy, and congregational perspectives. (258 pages.) Order from: Board for Homeland Ministries, 132 W. 31 st Street New York, NY 10001. 212/239~ 8700. Published by United Church Press. UNITED METHODIST CHURCH Guide to the Study Document on Human Sexuality. Discipleship Resources. Study document proposed by the Women's Division ofthe Board of Global Ministries and adopted by the 1980 General Conference. The General Conference mandated that the study document be published with a guide for individual or group study, along with a bibliography. Published in 1983. (52 pages.) Order from: Discipleship Resources, P.O. Box 840, Nashville, TN 37202. Books Edwards, George. Gay/Lesbian Liberation: A Biblical Perspective. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1984. Mace, David. The Christian Response to the Sexual Revolution. Nashville: Abingdon, 1970. Nelson, James. Between Two Gardens: Reflection on Sexuality and Religious Experience. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1983. ___Embodiment: An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1978. Scroggs, Robin. The New Testament and Sexuality. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1984. Organ izations Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns P.O. Box 1021 Evanston, IL 60204 American Baptists Concerned 2418 Browning Street Berkeley, CA 94702 Brethren/Mennonite Council for Gay Concerns P.O. Box 24060 Washington, DC 20024 Dignity (Roman Catholic) 1500 Massachusetts Avenue, NW # 11 Washington, DC 20005 Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns P.O. Box 222 Sumneytown, PA 18084 Integrity (Episcopal) 4550 Connecticut Avenue, NW #605 Washington, DC 20008 Lutherans Concerned P.O. Box 10461 Fort Dearborn Station Chicago, IL 60610 Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay Concerns P.O. Box 38 New Brunswick, NJ 08903 Unitarian Universalist Office of Lesbian/Gay Concerns 25 Beacon Street Boston, MA 02108 United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns 18 N. College Street Athens, OH 45701 Reconciling Congregations Washington Square UMC Wheadon UMC c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Carol Larson Ed Weaver 2212 Ridge Avenue 135 W. 4th Street Evanston, IL 60201 New York, NY 10012 51. Paul's UMC Park Slope UMC c/o George Christie c/o A. Finley Schaef 1615 Ogden Street 6th Avenue & 8th Street Denver, CO 80218 Brooklyn, NY 11215 Crescent Heights UMC Calvary UMC c/o Lyle Loder c/ o Chip Coffman 1296 North Fairfax 815 S. 48th Street West Hollywood, CA 90046 Philadelphia, PA 19143 Wesley UMC Christ UMC c/o Warren Russell c/o Bea Judge 1343 E. Barstow Avenue 4th & Eye Streets, SW Fresno, CA 93710 Washington, DC 20024 Bethany UMC St. John's UMC c/o Christine L. Shiber c/ o Howard Nash 1268 Sanchez Street 2705 St. Paul Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Baltimore, MD 21218 Sunnyhills UMC Edgehill UMC c/o Martha Chow c/ o Hoyt Hickman 335 Dixon Road 1502 Edgehill Avenue Milpitas, CA 95035 Nashville, TN 37212 Wallingford UMC Central UMC c/o Chuck Richards c/o Howard Abts 2115 N. 42nd Street 701 West Central at Seattle, WA 98103 Scottwood Toledo, OH 43610 Capitol Hill UMC c/ o Pat Dougherty 128 Sixteen Street EastUniversity UMC Seattle, WA 98112 c/ o Steven Webster 1127 University Avenue Madison, WI 53715 24/0pen Hands Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 2 No 1 - Our Churches' Policies https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a2facd0b5d7a27c4ab65eb7de7b54782.pdf ac80bd9d9291de1d9f429868b553d31f Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 2 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 2 No 2 - Images of Healing Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived II'JII qour"earl frue -fo mq " earf al mI-ne II-f 0 q OUTJI____ _ ';Jf if ii, give ~1Il{}SO me qour"and:' Z';}(ingl 10:15 1Jo1. 2, ""0_ 2 'iJou,..,. I 0/ t"e~econcilingCongregation","ogram ~ The Reconciling Congregation Program i a network of United M thodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc., as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue: Susan R Beehler Marshall Jones Kathy Black Julie Morrissey Ralph Blair Beth Richardson Mark Bowman Bradley Rymph Rita Nakashima Wendy Tate Brock James S. Tinney Guy Charles Quentin L. Hand Graphic artist Hoyt L. Hickman Brenda Roth Open Hands (formerly Manna tor the Journey) is published four times a year. Subscription IS $10 for four Issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. PermiSSion to repnnt is granted upon request. Reprints of certam articles are available as Indicated in the issue. Subscnptlons and correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc. ISSN 0888-8833 \I'JIJ your #]earl frue -to my "eart af mine if to youn/___ _ ';JI it if, give ~lI JOS(j me your"and:' 2 ';}(ingf JC:J5 l.,\,Lz,Xz al of t"e~concilingCongregation ~ogram Contents Healing is a word that scares many gay men and lesbians when used in a spiritual context. Too many of us have experienced families trying to cart us off to psychiatrists to make us "normal" or telling us that, if our faith were only strong enough, God would "cure" us. Yet healing is meant to be a positive, enlivening term-the making whole of something that was previously broken. That is the meaning we affirm in this issue of Open Hands. Quentin L. Hand opens our examination with "Saved and Sound" (p. 6), a reflection on the relationship between salvation and healing and how sexual orientation fits into that relationship. Hand's analysis is supplemented by discussions of what healing can mean from two alternative theological perspectives. In uCharismatic Healing and Homosexuality" (p. 8), James S. Tinney discusses Pentecostal concepts of healing and what they might offer gay men and lesbians. Rita Nakashima Brock shares what healing means to her as a Christian feminist in "Feminism, Healing, and Christ" (p. 10). In the midst of the AIDS crisis, healing can have special meaning for gay men, as well as their friends and families. Wendy Tate, in UHealing Ministries and AIDS" (p. 12), shares what she learned through her work as a chaplain with persons with AIDS. No examination of healing as it relates to gay men and lesbians would be complete without a look at the so-called "ex-gay" movement that remains popular in some Christian circles. Ralph Blair studies the history and claims of this movement in uThe Real Changes Taking Place" (p. 13), finding it seriously lacking in credibility and success. Guy Charles-a gay man who founded and, for a time, led one "ex-gay" organization-shares his insider's perspective in HOne Former 'Ex-Gay' Leader's Story" (p. 18). Coming to accept and love persons with sexual orientations different from one's own can be a slow, even painful process of healing. Members of two Reconciling Congregations discuss how they are working through this process in HHealing through Reconciliation" (p. 20). In SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 23), we offer HBeyond Our Healing, " by Susan R. Beehler and Rev. Kathy Black. This song celebrates the healing that flows from community, enabling us to move beyond our souls' wounding to "greet the sunrise" and "heal the world." Beehler is minister of program at Metropolitan Memorial UMC in Washington, D.C. Black is the pastor of Magothy Church of the Deaf (UMC) in Severna Park, Maryland. Our consideration of healing is rounded out in RESOURCES (p. 24), with a bibliography of materials that further discuss healing's many images. As usual, the RCP REPORT (p. 3) brings us up to date on what is happening in our Reconciling Congregation family. Next issue's theme: Homophobia 2/0pen Hands • • IA AL • Northern Illinois Declared "Reconciling Conference" "'J"'fhe Northern Illinois Annual .I. Conference of the United Methodist Church adopted a resolution urging its local churches to become Reconciling Congregations and declaring itself to be a "Reconciling Conference." The resolution, adopted at its June 1986 meeting, reads as follows: WHEREAS Jesus taught us that we are called to be the good neighbor to all persons regardless of their identity; and WHEREAS Paragraph 7lF of the Social Principles reads in part: Homosexual persons are "individuals ofsacred worth, who need the ministry and guidance of the Church in their struggles for human fulftllment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship which enables reconciling relationships with God, with others and with self." (The 1984 Book of Discipline); and WHEREAS homosexual United Methodists might misconstrue Paragraph 402.2 of The 1984 Book ofDiscipline as an absolute ban on the participation of lesbians and gay men in the representative ministries and general mission of the United Methodist Church; THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the Northern Illinois Conference urges each local church to become a "Reconciling Congregation" by studying and adopting the materials of the Reconciling Congregation Program which affirms the full participation of all persons, regardless of sexual identity, in the life of the congregation; and BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Northern Illinois Conference declare itself a "Reconciling Conference," affirming the full participation of gay men and lesbians in the life of this Annual Conference . R'I Resolutions on Civil Rights "'J"'fhe Wyoming Annual Conference .I. (northeastern Pennsylvania and southern New York) passed a resolution "supporting state legislation that would prohibit discrimination on the basis ofone's sexual orientation." A resolution ofthe Pacific Northwest Annual Conference urged opposition to referenda threatening the civil rights of lesbians and gay men. The texts of these two resolutions are: WHEREAS our church "affirms all persons as equally valuable in the sight of God." (par. n, 1984 Discipline); and WHEREAS "homosexual persons no less than heterosexual persons are individuals of sacred worth, who need the ministry and guidance of the Church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship which enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. Further we insist that all persons are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured, though we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." (par. 71, 1984 Discipline); and WHEREAS "the rights and privileges a society bestows upon or withholds from those who comprise it indicates the relative esteem in which that society holds particular persons or groups of persons." (par. n, 1984 Discipline); THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the Wyoming Conference of the United Methodist Church goes on record as supporting stale legislation that would prohibit discrimination on the basis of one's sexual orientation in employment, housing, public accommodation and in any other area of civil rights. -Wyoming Conference BE IT RESOLVED that in response to the Gospel ofgrace and justice, this Annual Conference supports those civil measures that affirm the rights of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, to be free of harassment and discrimination in matters of housing, job-security, public safety, insurance coverage, and full medical treatment. WE COMMEND the King County Council for its support of anti-discrimination measures, and Governor Booth Gardner for his executive order which assures that protection also for all state employees under his jurisdiction. AND, FURTHERMORE, we urge all United Methodists to vote for referenda protecting civil rights for lesbians and gay men in the King County election of September 1986 and against Initiative 490 or any other measure which would threaten civil rights in the Washington state election of November 1986 as steps to further secure such rights. -Pacific Northwest Conference AIDS Resolutions A t least 14 annual conferences 1"1.adopted resolutions related to the AIDS crisis this spring and summer. Common points among the various resolutions were: 1) urging increased education of all persons about AIDS; 2) calling for increased funding and expanded efforts in research and treatment by public and private agencies; and 3) encouraging local churches to be in ministry with persons with AIDS (PWAs) and their families. In . addition to those common points, several annual conferences (North Arkansas, North Indiana, Desert Southwest, Florida) appealed for the protection ofthe civil rights of PWAs. Rocky Mountain and Pacific Northwest asked local churches to take a special offering to contribute to programs providing services for PWAs. Further actions by general church boards were requested by Northern New Jersey and CaliforniaPacific. We provide the texts of some of the resolutions: WHEREAS Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is a major health crisis in our world, nation, and some of our churches, and science has not yet found a cure for this painful and usually fatal disease, and (cont.) Open Hands/3 • • • • • • • WHEREAS many persons in our local churches live in fear of developing this disease, or that a friend or relative will develop this disease. BE IT RESOLVED 1) that the North Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church be intentional in prayerful concern for all persons with this disease and seek to educate our members on the facts and fallacies of AIDS and ARC (AIDS Related Complex). 2) That our Conference encourage government and private agencies in continuing the search for the cure, prevention, and treatment of this disease. 3)That pastors and lay members of our churches recognize our calling to be in ministry to persons with this disease and also to those families and friends affected by it. 4) That we seek ways to disseminate information about this disease, recognizing our need to learn more about its cause and treatment. In carrying out this objective, we refer this resolution to the Division of Health and Welfare urging them to act as soon as feasible. -North Texas Conference RESOLVED that each local church in the Pacific Northwest Conference be encouraged to take a Sunday offering during the coming year in support of programs to provide housing and medical services with advanced cases of AIDS. FURTHERMORE the Conference Board of Global Ministries be directed to provide sample bulletin inserts for the offering to be included in the coordinated mailing and be directed to select authorized agencies within the bounds of the PNWAC to receive the funds collected. -Pacific Northwest Conference WHEREAS it is estimated that over a million people in over 70 countries have been infected with the AIDS virus, a disease that almost always leads to death; and the tragedy of this disease is further compounded by its psychological, emotional and social impact on the family and friends of victims and on the community in general, and WHEREAS a usually compassionate and caring community has been slow to respond to this crisis because of lack of accurate information, fear and prejudice and because we often have viewed the problem as limited to and affecting only a certain group of people, not ourselves, and WHERE.AS it is the unique and special calling of the Church to minister in just such a situation in the name and spirit of Jesus Christ, THEREFORE we call upon the Church of the North Arkansas Conference at the local, district and conference level to: 1) Become informed by studying the basic information available on AIDS from various sources. We especially recommend the engage/ 4/ 0pen Hands social action forum 123 available from the General Board of Church and Society. In turn, help to inform the community by sharing information with the public. 2) Work with local and state health agencies and other health professionals to promote programs of research, prevention, treatment and other related services such as the formation of support groups for AIDS victims and their families, while at the same time work to protect the health of the community at large. 3) Develop sensitivity to human rights issues and concerns deriving from the AIDS crisis, such as rights of privacy and access to public institutions and freedom from discrimination and harassment. -North Arkansas Conference WHEREAS Jesus of Nazareth reached into the lives ofthose whose minds and bodies had been destroyed by disease, spoke for those whose ability to speak for themselves had been denied them, and exposed the foolishness offear and oppression against the powerless, and WHEREAS he liberated those suffering from social, physical and spiritual diseases, and WHEREAS the church is called to follow the example of Jesus Christ as it ministers to those who are stricken with disease or are victims of political and social oppression, THEREFORE, LET IT BE RESOLVED that the churches of the North Indiana Conference I) Provide opportunities for objective education about Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS); 2) Provide personnel, materials, space, etc., as needed to groups developing support systems for AIDS victims and their families; 3) Provide opportunities for reconciliation between AIDS victims and the greater community; 4) Take seriously the fears surrounding the AIDS controversy while exposing the misunderstandings which create those fears; 5) Speak out in words and action on behalf of victims whose civil rights are being denied them due to their disease; 6) Consider specialized ministry to AIDS victims and their families; 7) And, advocate for the rights ofvictims in all forums. -North Indiana Conference In addition to the conferences mentioned above, AIDS resolutions were adopted by Baltimore, California-Nevada, Kansas East, Minnesota, and South Georgia. Texts of all the AIDS resolutions can be obtained by writing to Open Hands. Recognition must be given to the Methodist Federation for Social Action (MFSA) for its work on behalf of many of the lesbian/gayrelated resolutions adopted at annual conferences this year. MFSA members and local chapters were active in writing and advocating these resolutions. Oregon-Idaho Lays Groundwork for Reconciling Congregation Program ~irty-five persons attended the .I. Mfirmation meeting during the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference session in June 1986. Much of the meeting was devoted to planning for the future of the Reconciling Congregation Program there. Participants in the meeting developed a list of steps and suggestions for preparing local churches to become Reconciling Congregations. That list included: -Prepare yourself through reading and study, getting to know openly gay and lesbian persons. -Assume there are lesbians and gay men in any group ofpersons. -Don't allow put-downs to pass by unchallenged. -Use prayers ofpetition and intercession for gay/lesbian people and their families, including specifics such as AIDS, Julian Rush. -Use gay/lesbian positive illustrations in sermons, liturgies, prayers. -Find ways to expand the terminology used about relationships. -Have positive gay/lesbian literature in the literature rack. -Host workshops on human sexuality, homosexuality, and the church. -Support social/cultural/sharing activities for lesbians and gay men; use church facilities for such groups. -Ask the Pastor-Parish Relations Committee and other committees how they would have the pastor answer the question: '1s this a church which welcomes lesbian/gay persons?" -Always emphasize the word reconciling when talking about the program. -Discover and tell stories ofchurch growth resultingjrom being a Reconciling Congregation. - I ~ II current wording which intends moral has developed a resource packet for The NCC Task Force on AIDS character on the part of ministers congregations. It can be ordered for and so as not to single out one par$5.00 (prepaid) from: NCC Task ticular behavior as immoral. Force on AIDS, 475 Riverside Drive • Also denied were overtures that (572), New York, NY 10115. would have given the presbyteries ultimate authority in ordination of ministers and sessions the same authority for deacons and elders. Civil Rights Threatened Park Slope UMC Hosts These overtures were denied so as to in California maintain the connectionalism of Nicaraguan President ~proposition to appear on the the church. Daniel Ortega, president of Nica1" 1.California state ballot this NoIn other action, the Generalragua, addressed the worship vember would classify AIDS as a Assembly adopted a resolution callservice of Park Slope UMC, a Recon" contagious" disease and would ing for various actions in behalf ofciling Congregation in Brooklyn, place severe restrictions on persons persons with AIDS, their families, New York, on July 27. Ortega apwith AIDS or AIDS-related comand loved ones. pealed to the congregation to encourplex, persons who test positive for Members of Presbyterians forage the U.S. government to cease the HTLV-III antibody, and even Lesbian/Gay Concerns were highly support for the contras, who are persons suspected of testing positive. visible during the General Assembly. attempting to overthrow the NicaSuch persons would be barred from Their luncheon attracted 200 persons. raguan government. teaching, going to school, or working Ortega's address received an in medical, food service, or other enthusiastic response from the 400 public-contact areas. The wording of persons crowded into the church Back Issues Available the proposition is vague enough that building and the large crowd gathered I ssues of Open Hands are good such persons could be quarantined outside. The worship service received resources for local church study by the California State Health Dewidespread coverage in the religious groups. Back issues can be ordered partment. and secular media. for $3.00 each (20 or more copies are Proposition 64 was initiated by a Ortega's visit to Park Slope was $2.50 each) from: Open Hands, P.O. group related to Lyndon LaRouche's preceded by a trip to Nicaragua by Box 23636, Washington, DC 20026. National Democratic Policy Comseveral members of the congregation Issues available are: mittee. The initiative has built on the this past April. At that time Park -"Be Ye Reconciled" (Summer ignorance and irrational fears about Slope established a covenant rela1985) AIDS that many people continue to tionship with La Merced Christian -"Living & Dying with AIDS" have. Because of this, opponents of Base Community. (Fall 1985) -"A Matter of Justice" (Winter Proposition 64 believe it may be difficult to defeat. Churches and individuals who 1986) -"Our Families" (Spring 1986) National Days want more information or wish to -"Our Churches' Policies" provide support for efforts against of Prayer and Healing (Summer 1986) Proposition 64 can contact: NO on for Persons with AIDS LaRouche Initiative, 7985 Santa 'T'fhe National Council of Monica Blvd., #109-174, Los Angel• Churches (NCC) is calling on all es, CA 90046.213/738-8245. Financial Support churches in its 31 Protestant and Orthodox communions to recognize Appreciated November 3-9 as National Days of M any thanks to those who made Presbyterians Maintain Prayer and Healing for all persons extra contributions with the related to the AIDS crisis. Status Quo on Ordination renewal of their Open Hands The call to National Days of General Assembly of the subscriptions. TIe Prayer and Healing is one part of a Also we are grateful for a $4,000 resolution, "The Churches' ResPresbyterian Church (U.S.A.) grant that we received from Chicago ponse to the AIDS Crisis," approved dismissed two opposing groups of Resource Center this past summer unanimously by the NCC Governovertures regarding ordination durand a special donation of over $230 ing Board in May 1986. The resoluing its June 1986 session. from a Gay Pride worship offering at tion also encourages local churches One group would have inserted Bethany UMC (San Francisco). to engage in various actions and various words concerning the moral All of these contributions and ministries to persons with AIDS and character of ministers, deacons, and more are crucial in moving us fortheir families. elders into the Book of Order. These ward on our common journey . • overtures were denied in favor of Open Handsl5 he gospels tell us that Christians are to have an abundant life (In. 10: 10). They are to be set free by the truth (In. 8:32). Jesus clearly viewed obedience to his teaching as the appropriate response to this life that God offers. Still, the exact meanings of this promise of free, abundant life continue to be debated among Christians, as they have been through the centuries. Too often, Christians of different persuasions have claimed that they have exclusive understanding of what Christian faith and salvation mean and require. They have appeared to regard any spiritual experiences different from their own as "not Christian." One way in which this spiritual exclusivism is practiced by some Christians today is in their attitudes toward homosexuality. These believers frequently maintain that a gay man or lesbian could not possibly also be a "saved" Christian, saying that a truly "saved" Christian would be "healed" of his or her homosexuality. Such views are far too simplistic for Christian thinking and acting. They cannot stand when theological meanings of salvation and spiritually based healing are carefully examined. Defining Salvation To be "saved" is to be in a relationship with God in ======= which the divine love and acceptance is present for -___the person and the person is both committed to God in ----love and seeking to live in loving ways toward God and others. For Christians, this includes acknowledging Jesus as the One who shows God to us and was God among us. Some Christians speak ofbeing "saved" as having had a conversion experience. This experience is a moment or by Quentin L. Hand event, usually emotionally intense, that the person remembers as a turning point in life. Nevertheless, such an instantaneous event-no matter how significant and moving for the one who experiences it-may initiate but does not constitute a "saved" relationship with God. Rather, such a relationship exists in a day-by-day, ongoing commitment to God expressed in loving actions. Salvation must always exist within a broader context ofthe people of God. God's covenant is always, first, with a group of persons and, second, with an individual as a member of the group. After the flood God's covenant was not just with Noah but "with all living beings" (Gen. 9: 12). The covenant with Abram (Gen. 15:18) included all of Abram's descendants. The Sinai covenant was with the Hebrews as a people, not Moses as an individual. Jesus often ministered to persons, but his message was of the Realm of God or ofa new age for all who heard. The Holy Spirit was given to the entire Church on the day of Pentecost rather than to one, two, or a few individuals. Paul wrote to congregations rather than individuals. Even when dealing with such personal issues as the runaway slave Onesimus (Phm.) or the incestuous Corinthian (1 Cor. 5:1), Paul addressed the congregation. A covenant is an agreement of commitment between two or more parties. God's covenant with anyone always implies that person's membership in God's family. Hence the way in which one does or does not love the sisters and brothers, the way in which one provides for another's needs or ignores them, is interwoven with the commitment made to God. Ifone does not love the sister or brother that is seen, that person is not able to love the unseen God (1 In. 4: 19-5:2). Welcoming the stranger, clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, caring for one of the least important persons is an expression of caring for the "Son of Man" (Mt. 25:31-46). Hence, while being "saved" is a relationship that each 6/ 0pen Hands I • individual may have, it is first the community or family of God that has the saving relationship and second the person. We learn to love within a family or group who loves us. We become capable of loving others because we participate in a loving group. We become capable of making and keeping a promise because others have been faithful to us. Any personal commitment to God inevitably means being a member of some form of congregation, or community, as a visible, real expression of God's people. As a congregation, and as members of congregations, loving others includes awareness of and appreciation for the differences that God has created. Learning to accept others as God accepts them, to recognize there are different gifts for the upbuilding ofthe body ofChrist, to give thanks for their contribution to the Church and to our salvation, are parts of our commitment to God and our love for God's works. Relating Salvation to Health Any theological understanding of health must reflect ----this concept of community-based salvation. A ,...---,...-___ healthy, or sound, body is the result not only of one's own ----attention to well being but also of a community that provides good food and sanitation and protection from the elements. A healthy relationship includes one or more parties who stabilize the soundness. A person can become spiritually sound only through a healthy relationship with God and with community. The goal of a true spiritual quest is never health or, in some other way, to improve one's personal life. *To be real, a spiritual quest must be to know God. The goal must be to enlarge and enrich the exchange between God and others of God's people and oneself; to commit oneself continually to love God and others; to reach out to invite others into a loving relationship with God. Having a salvific relationship should make a difference in the way that a Christian makes commitments and keeps relationships. It may, for example, lead to reduced conflicts with others, less frantic efforts to gratify one's own wishes, and increased willingness to meet others' needs. But neither divinely created givens (such as one's skin color) nor humanly created givens (for example, amputation of a diseased arm to save a life) will be changed. Salvation can change destructive sexual behavior, but will not change sexual orientation. Ofcourse, a close tie does exist between one's physical body and one's psychological and spiritual state. The study ofpsychosomatic medicine shows, for example, that constant worry can produce stomach ulcers, a strong drive to succeed may contribute to heart attacks, and people with poor emotional control are accident prone. A trust in God that enables one to reduce fears and anxieties about tomorrow makes for better digestion, uninterrupted sleep, and improved health. Psychotherapists observe that as people learn to improve their relationships with others they have lower blood pressure, better muscle tone and skin color, and fewer illnesses. It must also be acknowledged that there are many references in the Bible where God gives health to some Is Homosexuality a Sickness? The assertion that homosexuality Is a sickness, and therefore a punishment sent by God, is simplistic and Incorrect. The American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses in 1973. Recent scientific studies have shown that homosexuality Is a natural condition, affecting about 10% of all known animal and human populations.1 The . mental health of lesbians and gay men, as measured by standard psychological tests, is as sound as, or even better than, that of the general population. And, while some persons argue that the homosexual condition can be traced to abnormal childhood situations, the overwhelming scientific evidence is that there is no known "cause" for homosexuality at this time.2 -Quentin L. Hand 1. William Paul et aI., Homosexuality: Social, Psychological, and 8iologlcal lssues (Beverly Hills, Calif.: Sage Publications, 1982). 2. Alan P. 8ell, Martin S. Weinberg, and Sue Kiefer Hammersmith, Sexual Preference: Its Development In Men and Women (Bloomington, Ind.: Indiana University Press, 1981). who ask. Jesus' healing miracles were evidences that God was present with humans for their physical as well ~s their spiritual welfare. And there are references in which people believe that sickness is a sign ofGod's punishment. So there is some basis for the assumption that health indicates God's favor while illness is a sign one has done wrong. But the relationship between God and human health is not so easy. The book ofJob wrestles with the problem of undeserved suffering. The dedicated Roman Catholic priest, Father Damien, who worked among lepers and contracted the disease, is evidence that illness is not a sign of God's disapproval. It is idolatrous to use mental or physical health criteria as measures of one's relationship with God. To do so substitutes human measures for the theological standards of love for God and others expressed in service relieving human misery. To claim that God gives health and hence only the healthy have received God's favor, or that God gives freedom so only the free are God's chosen, ignores the reality that many ill and dying persons and many who are bound by social or political factors are acknowledged as "saved." The definition ofhomosexuality as an "illness" or a "sin" is, then, arbitrary and without theological substance. The needed change is the furthering of the covenant community within which individual salvation can occur. The reconciliation of God and persons requires the presence of a reconciling people, or congregation. Under( continued on pg. 8) ·Sometimes, nowadays, the primary fruits ofan individual's being "saved" seem to be disguised individualism and thinly hidden self-centeredness. Such a person may tell of how his or her life has improved and how he or she is more at peace since being "born again" (referring to the requirement Jesus made of Nicodemus in In. 3:3). Open Hands/7 ---Saved and Sound (continued) ---standing God as Trinity provides the ground that the divine love was the act of a "community," the three Persons, wanting other persons to receive and retu:n t~at love. As we know that love in the saved relationshIp WIth God we want to assist others to realize they are members of God's family. Our mission is telling of and sharing God's action. A "saved" and sound congregation provides both acceptance for each member and stimulation for growth in spiritual living. It strives to offer introduction to the varieties of theological positions, to the many ways that religious people receive God, so that all benefit. Through it the charismatic and the liturgist can seek to learn from e~ch other, and the monastic and the social actionist can recognize that each enriches the Christian mission. Men and women members of different races and of different ethnic groups, can understand that, because of biosocial factors, their experiences are not identical; they can rejoice in the Creator's abundance. Heterosexuals ~nd homosexuals can discover that each knows somethIng about love's gifts and expressions to enlarge the others' understanding. The varieties of creation are unlimited. But we humans become anxious in the presence of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the different. We build barriers of distance and isolation between nations, races, neighbors and groups, denominations and congregations, .and individual Christians. In so doing, we provide safety for ourselves and our group at the expense of unity and harm?ny. ":Ie become able to avoid the unexpected and to hve WIth equanimity, but we also restrict our love to those like ourselves. A sound congregation seeks both to receive God's love and to share God's love in all of its forms. A sound congregation does not fear differences, for "there is no fear in love" (1 Jn. 4: 18). Its members actively work for reconciliation among themselves and with those outside of the congregation. They seek reconciliation both between persons and God and between persons with one another. They strive to provide the setting in which individuals can realize their salvation. Being "saved" is a question neither of health no~ of 1----being good. One need not have a sound body or m~nd I-----to have a saving relationship with God. A savIng I-----relationship is one of love, of God's love for us and of our loving commitment to God. This commit~ent le~ds ~o loving actions. And the foremost of these lovIng actIOns IS to promote the reconciliation of God's people with one another. In the context of the concerns of this journal, it means straight and lesbian and gay persons all seeking to know and love each other as members of God's family .• Quentin L. Hand, B.D., Ph.D., is a United Methodist minister. He served in pastorates for 18 years before being appointed to his present position as Associate Professor of Psychology and Pastoral Counseling, Candler School of Theology, Emory University, Atlanta, Ga. entecostals and charismatics* have always differed from other evange~icals. in their insistence that all of the sIgn gtfts (Mk. 16:17-18, 1 Cor. 12: 1-11) of the Holy Spirit are available to every Christian today. While a number of spiritual gifts are evidenced, two or t~ree have always been most visible in their circles: heahng, glossolalia (tongues-speaking), ~~d perhaps p~op~ecy. In addition, unlike older tradItIOnal denomInatIons (which at times emphasize spiri~al. healing), .Pentecostals insist that all the gifts are WIthIn the proVInce of all Christians and should operate on a continual basis in every congregation. . At first glance, it might seem that Pentecosta.hsm would have little of appeal to gay men and lesbIans. Charistmatics have, after all, generally aligned themselves with other anti-gay/lesbian conservatives in interdenominational alliances, and they do tend to dominate the New Religious Right. Yet individual Pentecostals have played a surprising role in the lesbian/gay Christia~ movement. ~e Universal Fellowship of Metropohtan CommunIty Churches was started by a Pentecostal minister, Troy Perry, and has always attracted a significant number of members from charistmatic backgrounds. The Pentecostal Coalition for Human Rights, begun in 1981, has more than 2,000 persons on its mailing list and participates in various gay/lesbian interfaith conferences and alliances. With the spread ofAIDS, many gay men are asking what promise for healing charismatic beliefs might offer. A cluster of beliefs underlies the Pentecostal doctrine of divine healing. ** Four beliefs are prominent: • God can heal; only sin and unbelief obstruct God's ability. . It is always God's will to heal every sickness and disease. • Faith (and sometimes obedience or "positive confession") is the requisite for obtaining healing. • A failure to be healed represents a fault in us, rather than fault, unwillingness, or delay on God's part. Pentecostals do not believe that healing is a necessary evidence or equivalence of salvation, however. Rather, in Wesleyan terms, it is more a "sign and seal" -a "sign" ofGod's power and presence within (and of *Formeriy, many persons read Pentecostal to refer to a ,,:,emb~r of a denomination espousing speaking in tongues, whereas chansmattc was used to refer to a member of a mainline denomination who exercised spiritual gifts such as tongues. Today, the two terms are used interchangeable, as is the case here. **Divine healing is Pentecostal language; faith healing is the term used by critics and the press; spiritual healing is more prevalent among non charismatic denominations. 8/0pen Hands God's personal care and concern) and a "seal," or sacramental act, much like baptism or the eucharist. This belief system often has not led openly gay men and lesbians to feel very welcome in Pentecostal circles. Many Pentecostals view gay men and lesbians as pariahs, true lepers. Homosexuality is, to these Pentecostals, "worse" than other "sins" or "sicknesses," simply because it does not conform or respond to charismatic healing. They conclude that either (1) homosexuals' failure to overcome this "sin" lies only in their human will or (2) the persistence of homosexual practice is a symptom of a deeper malady such as demonic possession. All-in-all, charismatic teachings on healing can be disastrous to the personal faith ofa gay man orlesbian. Instead of providing a sense of personal control, growth, assurance, and persistence, vibrant traditional Wesleyan doctrines of freedom of the will, the witness of the Spirit, and personal holiness can become harbingers of spiritual destitution. espite these difficulties, however, many charismatic gay men and lesbians seem to have reconciled their faith and sexuality. Gay and lesbian people still fill Pentecostal pews every Sunday; it has been estimated that up to 70 perent of men in Pentecostal churches are gay. Lesbians and gay men are a staple in the gospel music industry and performing circuit. What accounts for this? I think there are several reasons gay men and lesbians are attracted to Pentecostalism. One ofthese probably is Pentecostals' promise of instantaneous healing and deliverance, which can attract gay men and lesbians hoping for a heterosexual "cure" in orientation. Such a "healing" of homosexuality itself is, of course, a false hope, but Pentecostal experience can offer another, truer form of healing for gay men and lesbians. It can help them to reconcile their faith and sexuality and thus to experience real healing in terms of their intrapsychic selves. I know that, in my own experience, some elements in my religious background and tradition actually helped me to "come out" and facilitated my approach toward a more holistic, healthy lifestyle. What were these elements, which no doubt also operate in others' lives? Chief among the healing forces that operate within charismatic circles for gay men and lesbians, I think, are the following: The Importance of the body In worship and theology. That God cares enough about our bodies to want to heal us is just one example of this. Just as important-and just as healing-is the charismatic emphasis on touching, uplifted hands, and even praise-dancing in spontaneous fashion. Such practices provide a linkage for the embodiment of spirituality. The practice of glossolalia. Charismatics believe that tongues-speaking overcomes the usual route of the rational and provides an access to healing that enables the deepest recesses of our personalities to commune with God. An emphasis on biblical empiricism. Charismatics agree with John Wesley that ifinterpretation of scripture runs counter to human experience, then it is not scripture that is in error but the interpretation of it. In my case, after years of praying, fasting, selfdiscipline, and believing and "confessing" for deliverance, I suddenly realized that my spiritual and sexual experience both ran contrary to my biblical interpretations. Finally, I yielded to the consistency of biblical empiricism. A boldness, a zeal, a spontaneity, enabling persons to rise above their inhibitions. Pentecostals call this the "power of the Holy Spirit." Biblically, of course, such power was to enable the church to witness. But, in practical terms, it had a spillover effect in other areas as well. This "holy impulsiveness" is in reality a stimulus to take risks. No doubt my own ability to "come out" as an openly gay man was linked to the lessons I learned and the charisma I experienced. A sublimation of anger, a sate rebellion, encouraged by the charismatic dimension. Spiritual gifts represent "new wine," a kind of rebellion against religious authority and a reaction to what has been called "frozen theology." To an individual who feels circumscribed by overbearing structures, a healthy bit of self-assertion, such as the charismatic movement encourages, can be very healing. Finally, we should not overlook the fact that many of us need healing as gay men and lesbians. While our sexual orientation in itself is not evil, and while all homosexual activity is not sinful either, many of us bear much pain, abuse, and oppression. We often come from broken relationships with parents, teachers, preachers, peers, and even lovers. We experience frustration from false guilt, over-sensitivity, and other inner wounds from unhealed memories. And, in addition to all this, we experience the same fears and failures that are common to the human condition. Whether or not one agrees with typical charismatic theology or biblical interpretations is not the issue here. The point is that the charismatic dimension calls our attention-everyone's attention-to a whole arena of inner ministries by the Holy Spirit. In one sense, every Christian has chan'sma (which simply means, in New Testament Greek, a gift of grace). As Christians, we are all recipients ofthat grace. We are all gifted. In fact, every believer has the Holy Spirit living within-one who has come to accomplish many things in our lives, including healing. And I can testify that this One is, indeed, a "mighty good" Counselor and Healer! • James S. Tinney, Ph.D., is the pastor andfounder ofFaith Temple. a predominantly black gay/lesbian church in Washington. D.C., and the national director ofthe Pentecostal Coalition for Human Rights. Open Hands/ 9 lO/Open Hands Every summer since 1977 I have spent a week in August with 180 high school students and 25 adults in a process that is a magical 160 hours. Most of us strangers to each other, we are thrown together in a program designed to confront social issues such as racial and sexual identity, sexism, racism, and family interactions. The "Brother/Sisterhood Camp" is a project of the National Conference of Christians and Jews. Those precious days buoy my spirits all year and haunt me when I capitulate to flabby, dishonest relationships. The annual magic is conjured when we connect beyond the level of our most competent, "together" identities and the realness of the pain we all carry inside us becomes a healing power. A deeper connecting begins to allow change to happen and healing energies to surface. One moment in the week always astounds me with its power. An invited speaker talks to everyone about the fear and anger women feel at the threat of rape and about the real damage done long after the deed has happened. The speaker is angry, and she speaks with the force of her anger and of her concern for women. Some males react with hostitlity or defensiveness. Suddenly, the speaker stops and asks the women in the room to share their anger, their feelings about rape.The rape survivors, with support from their sisters, tell the horrifying tales and bare the hidden scars. Permission has been given for the truth to be told. The males are abruptly confronted, not by some strange speaker-one of those "libbers"-but by the female campers they have come to know and care about. Slowly, in the excruciating sharing of pain and terror, a transformation happens. A severer listening, a deeper hearing is taking place. Two events begin in those moments of truth spoken. The dominant-male/submissive-female ritual is exposed by those with the courage to name the truth of their lives. Behind the male hostility and defensiveness are fear, profound loneliness, and a raging sense of inadequacyfeelings embraced openly by many for the first time. With the embracing comes new feelings of shared pain with the women who speak. No longer just a victim's pain, the pain has become the shared hurt of honest relationships in which brokenness is named. And for those who had the courage to hear, to feel, and to speak, a new empowerment begins. As one women decides to say her life is important to her, and in her fear she tells the truth of her existence, others rise to support her and claim themselves. For some, the glimpses of transformation and empowerment illumine enough to light a way dimly to wholeness; for others they become a long-forgotten dream. Those brief, healing, summer hours lurk behind my every religious question. They also illustrate an important truth for me as a feminist and a Christian: only when we actually engage in the difficult and painful process of deep, intimate relationships with those who threaten and frighten our securely defined selves are our whole beings pulled into new ways of understanding that heal and nurture life. The power that comes from living in relational process transcends ideology in a closed universe and reaches for understanding. It transforms, empowers, and saves our lives. To develop and use this power is feminist freedom, a participation and presence in reality to the fullest extent possible. Freedom is to love ourselves and others deeply, and to be created continually by the many complex dimensions of relationship to ourselves and others. When we insist on the increase of this freedom we are led toward salvation. Salvation is the healing of life that emerges from our freedom and from the creative imagining ofa restored and whole existence. In the best offeminist visionaries such as Doris Lessing, Susan Griffin, Adrienne Rich, and Alice Walker, we encounter a persistent eros for wholeness-inprocess, for self-affirmation, for relationship, for forgiveness, and for the embracing of ambiguity as a key to self-discovery. Redemption as Healing Healing is the dominant image of much of feminism today. Those most wounded by reality are the most attuned to the brokenness of reality and the demands of relationships. Such sensitivity can heal. Pain is sometimes the only way to heal. When disease is deep, sometimes only a deep cut will lance the hidden infection. The healer's knife must have the courage to go deep. We dare not surrender our rage to safety or complacency as long as women continue to suffer the wounds of patriarchal violence.'Our anger is fueled by our longings for ourselves, each other, and a reality that does not destroy us. Shared pain brings empathy and compassion. Healing rejects coercive power and authority. Healing is its own authority; its energy cannot be controlled. Because healing is not based in control, it cannot work unilaterally. The internal wisdom of each of us must participate in and want wholeness before it will come. Hence, the healer cannot dictate healing, only offer and receive it . The primary context for healing is relationships. Healing requires an empathetic, compassionate participation in the life ofanother. Healing is engaged and active. It is a gentleness that is not afraid of pain but soothes encrusted wounds and makes them whole again. Profound healing functions only when individual persons are willing to be vulnerable and share intimate feelings. Healing requires calling up the depths of cold pain in ourselves and each other until the warmth of our own tenderness and yearning for each other makes us alive again. We destroy each other in increments by abandoning each other in our fear of what pain and the truth of our lives will do. To discover what does not destroy us, however, more than anger and passion are required. Healing needs imagination. Not only must we strive to see those we love fully and participate in their suffering; we need also to sustain a vision of Wholeness that imagines what is not yet a full reality. Imagination is a wellspring for trust and hope. Imagination must be alive in us as the searchlight for treasures yet unclaimed. Jesus as Healing Presence One life-giving image is that ofJesus Christ as a healer. Healing is the living Jesus' salvific power. Yet in our scientific age, sceptical of the miraculous, this image has been long-neglected. The Jesus of the early church recognizes the coercive powers behind some forms of pain. Evil is removed when it is acknowledged. Naming the powers and calling them out removes them. But Jesus is not concerned with placing ultimate blame for suffering. People ask to be healed, and he heals them because he has a vision of the wholeness that opens him to concrete persons in his presence. He stands with God against suffering and acts to purge illness. In the biblical stories, however, Jesus is not always the source of healing. In some stories, the faith and vulnerability of the sufferer usher in the miracle, and the healer-sufferer relationship produces wholeness. Jesus is the miracle worker, not the miracle itself. While healing is a proof of Jesus Christ's power, healing does not belong exclusively to Jesus. Mark 9:38ff, Luke 9: Iff, and Acts 3: Iff. tell of others who heal. Most receive their power through Jesus Christ, but in Luke 9:49-50 other healers are recognized as part ofGod's salvific work. Hence, healing can have an authority outside the realms ofJesus' powers. God is at work restoring creation even in unseen corners. The healing images of Christ are not the center of our faith, but they can nourish faith when they feed our power, a power that helps us save the images that restore us and lead us back to each other. Christ as healer need not be an image ofexclusive power and authority. Christ is an image of shared power that works and is increased only in the sharing. Healing reality does not emerge from a reliance on a past or future salvific event. Healing requires loving, imaginative presence here and now. And healing is to be in each other, loving ourselves and each other fiercely into wholeness.• From Christian Feminism by Judith Weidman, Copyright 1984 by Harper & Row, Publishers, San Francisco. Used with permission of Harper & Row, Publishers, San Francisco. Rita Nakashima Brock is director of the Women's. Studies Program at Stephens College, Columbia, Mo. A Ph.D. candidate at the Claremont Graduate School, she is working on a dissertation on feminism and Christology. She also writes on Asian women's theology, peace, power, and feminist understandings offreedom. Open Hands/ II 1\ the crisis ofAIDS has gro~ ten, silence is a powerful tool to be concepts of healing used when working at spirituality have expanded greatly as and prayer. well. Persons with AIDS (PWAs)Be informed. The more you faced with a clear threat to their continued existence-seem increasingly willing to "try anything" in the hope that some physical improvement may, indeed, occur. Widely varied therapies-imaging, zero-balancing, macrobiotics, positive thinking, herbal medications, and others-have grown in popularity. They now are frequently used in conjunction with or in place of other conventional medical therapies of pharmaceutics and radiation. But what of healing can be directed beyond the realm and aspect of the physical? Several years ago, I worked with cancer patients as a chaplain in a North Carolina hospital. The hospital staff and administration impressed on us chaplains that we were just as important a part of the healing teams as were the doctors, nurses, therapists, and interns. Several doctors remarked to me that, when they could do nothing else, they called a chaplain and were constantly amazed by the results. I have found much the same to be true in working with PWAs. Usually though, the healing process is far more complicated for PWAs than for persons with other long-term, terminal illnesses. The internal healing processes for PWAs can be thwarted in a number of ways: • Most PWAs have contracted the virus either through homosexual activity or by sharing needles when using intravenous drugs. Because many people view these behaviors solely as matters of choice, persons who become ill with AIDS are accused of "bringing it on themselves." They are made to feel guilty and somehow less deserving of support and proper care. • The church's historic failure to accept and provide spiritual support for gay and lesbian persons ~WendyTate healing processes for gay men. Regardless of how it is stated, the church's condemnation of their lifestyle is seen as rejection of the persons themselves. • Rejection and ostracism by family and friends can seriously affect the mental and emotional health of PWAs. Such rejection may occur in conjunction with the process of "coming out of the closet," as a complication of having AIDS, or as a combination of both. • Although understanding of AIDS among the general population is certainly higher than it was even one year ago, hysterical, irrational fear of someone with the disease still is not uncommon. Family members, friends, work colleagues, and others may fear exposure to the disease even when assured that they are safe. • Finally, social situations may cause problems for PWAs, and not only because side effects of the disease significantly limit the socializing that is physically possible. Invitations to dinners and parties are rescinded or never extended at all. Friends call instead of dropping by. These painful situations inevitably increase the stress felt by PWAs. The effect of stress on someone whose immune system is already compromised is even greater. Fortunately, some things can be done to assist persons with AIDS in bringing about healing and reconciliation. Be present. This is the first and most important action. To be available to talk, to run errands, to just sit and be in the same room and read can be very healing. Listen carefully to what is said and take note of what is left unsaid. Praying together mayor may not be helpful, especially at first, but do not know about AIDS, the less you will have to fear regarding spending time with PWAs. Ifyou are uncomfortable or fearful, PWAs may recognize that fear, increasing their stress. Be honest. To maintain a healthy, helpful relationship with someone, you must build trust and respect with that person. It is not necessary to protect PWAs; they usually are well aware of the extent of their illness. An atmosphere of honesty and respect allows for the discussion of subjects that can be tense and uneasy. Be patient. Healing of any kind takes time, so take things at whatever pace feels comfortable. For a gay man with AIDS, in particular, brokenness and scarring may be very old and deep, so patience, persistence, and an attitude of sincere caring are important. Avoid being judgmental. Opinions are fine, but judging another person can cause further alienation. Recriminations and blaming do not encourage reconciliation and healing. More often than not, they simply add insult to injury. In short, in spending time with persons with AIDS, nothing can take the place of good old-fashioned TLC. Kindness, care, and concern always show through if they are genuine. I have found that something amazing happens when I see healing in the life of someone with whom I am working. I, too, am healed and gain something for myself as well. When we allow ourselves to be open to God's power as it flows through us, a we direct that power to others, we may find that the healing is in us as well .• Rev. Wendy Tate is an elder in the Virginia Annual Conference ofthe United Methodist Church. She spent the 1985-86 appointment year doing pastoral care and counseling with AIDS patients through FOCUS, can further complicate internal assume anything. Always ask. Of- the Fellowship of Christians United in Service. 12/ 0 pen Hands ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C·H·A·N·G·E·S T·A·K·I·N·G P·L·A·C·E by Ralph Blair '1n olden days-not so very olden either-this practice was painted as the blackest ofall possible sins. Anyone who practiced it was pretty sure ofhell. Our grandfathers, including our medical grandfathers, ifthey did not avoid all reference to it, taught that it was not only a dreadf ul sin, but that also it had physical and mental consequences which were terrible; these consequences being regarded as the just punishment ofGodfor human wickedness. It was said that the victim ofthis habit invariably brought disease upon himselfand that ifhe did not speedily check it he would go mad.. .. The only hope ofcure held out was said to lie in the exercise ofthe victim's will assisted by religious exercises ofprayer and Bible reading. " -Leslie Weatherhead, The Mastery ofSex through Psychology and Religion, 1931 Rev. Leslie Weatherhead, a British Methodist in a Congregationalist pulpit, was one of the pioneers in attempting to integrate psychology and religion. In his day, he was considered a "liberal" or "enlightened" voice on matters relating sexuality to spirituality, as his above words on "Masturbation or Self-Abuse" might indicate. The Methodist Recorder predicted, "without fear of exaggeration it can be said that tens of thousands of young people will be deeply grateful" for Weatherhead's book. In that essay, Weatherhead also stated: "Fortunately, most of what was held to be true in regard to masturbation, physically, psychologically, and theologically, we now know to be vulgar nonsense." He noted that a "psychologist says that 99 per cent. of those who have given him their confidence practice it, and he suspects the hundredth of concealing the truth." We should by now, however, know better than to think that Weatherhead was particularly enlightened. He went on to claim that "some [men and women) achieve complete mastery [over masturbation] ... Quite recently I have had the joy of curing-apparently completely-a boy who masturbated several times a day for eight years and a girl in whom the practice had been a daily one for nearly fifteen years." By what means did Weatherhead have such "joy of curing" masturbators? His recommendations ranged from the psychological (urging patients to recognize masturbation as "the misuse on selfish levels of an instinctive energy"), to the religious ("Simply soak the mind with thoughts of Christ"), to the physical (recommending circumcision of all uncircumcised masturbators, avoidance of "heavy meals late at night," and sleeping with coverings that were "as light as possible" in a bed that was "not too soft"). t should not be surprising how many parallels exist between this approach to masturbation and the various, supposedly enlightened approaches to homosexuality popular today among evangelicals, fundamentalists, and charismatics.* As was the case with Weatherhead's "exmasturbator" process, many (though not all) leaders of what is commonly known as the "ex-gay movement" are attempting to move away from the really outlandish misinformation of previous generations. In both movements, we see a move from ignoring a taboo topic to a revolutionary recognition of it as a widespread phenomenon-even within the churches-requiring a change in perception. We see a seemingly greater compassion. But we see, too, simplistic solutions in the misuse of prayer and Bible reading. And we see the naive reporting of "cure" on the basis ofinstant evaluation ofalleged change, rather than on long-term follow-up studies. We see testimony of"ex-masturbators" and "ex-gays" as narrowly reported by their would-be deliverers. We see recommendations that the behavior be redefined, that thanks be given for a "freedom" not yet actually attained. We see recom( continued on pg. 14) */n his own chapter on homosexuality, Weatherhead simply reje"ed his readers to his chapter on masturbation, though he did say that the sodomy laws were "both cruel and useless. " Open Hands/I3 I loved life and all that it had to offer me each day. I loved my job and my clients. Ma God I loved my friends and thank God for each one of them. Have er 'Y onM oul Suicide is an all-too-common reaction of gay men and lesbians plagued by f eelings ofguilt over their sexual orientation. Below is the actual letter ofone man, who, convinced by an "exgay " organization that as a gay man he was not only sinful but worthless; took his life. He believed that God would forgive him/or killing himselfbut notfor being gay. Originally printed as 'T he Ultimate Act of Violence" by Evangelicals Concerned, San Francisco. Reprinted by permission. I loved my little house and would not have wanted to live anywhere else. All this looks like the perfect life. Yet, I must not let this shadow the problem that I have in my life. At one time, not too long ago, that was all that really mattered in my life. What pleased me and how it affected me. Now that I have turned my life over to the Lord and the changes came one by one, the above statements mean much more to me. I am pleased that I can say those statements with all the truth and honesty that is within me. However, to make this short, I must confess that there were things in my life that I could not gain control, no matter how much I prayed and tried to avoid the temptation, I continually failed. It is this constant failure that has made me make the decision to terminate my life here on earth. I do this with the complete understanding that life is not mine to take. I know that it is against the teachings ofour Creator. But, my failure is also against the teaching of our Creator. No man is without sin, this I realize. I will cleanse myself of all sin as taught to me by His word. Yet, I must face my Lord with the sin of murder. I believe that Jesus died and paid the price for that sin, too. I know that I shall have everlasting life with Him by departing this world now, no matter how much I love it, my friends, my family. IfI remain it could possibly allow the devil the opportunity to lead me away from the Lord. I love life, but my The Real Changes (continued) mendations for avoidance and silly suggestions for distraction, repression, and denial. Make no mistake about it-changes undoubtedly do occur in the "ex-gay" movement. But my extensive study of "ex-gay" phenomena over more than a decade convinces me that the changes are turnover in testimonies, personnel, promises, definitions, expectations, and claims, not changes in sexual orientation and behavior. As even "exgay" movement promoter Sharon Kuhn has admitted in Campus Crusade's Worldwide Challenge magazine, "most ["ex-gay"] ministries to Christian homosexuals soon die out." The degree of "enlightenment" among modem-day evangelicals, fundamentalists, and charismatics varies widely. This is especially the case with many heterosexuals who desperately want to believe in the "ex-gay" movement. Some persons continue to propose "cures" that are downright stupid. Out of Dallas a "Chaplain Ray" has issued advice on "How Homosexuals Can Change." He says that homosexuals should "Keep active. Work Exercise. Involve yourself in as much wholesome group activities as possible." This Rambo-like prison chaplain also believes that homosexuals would have been "healthier emotionally and psychologically if they had been involved in the rough and tumble games and fights of the children on the playgrounds." Some evangelicals continue to claim that complete change to heterosexuality is possible for the gay man or lesbian. For example, Kenneth Gangel, of Dallas Theological Seminary, claims that the "propensity can be changed by the power ofJesus Christ." He says that those Christian leaders who do not promise complete change "stop short ofthe real power ofthe gospel." (He cites as his evidence the testimony of a man who has now left the "exgay" movement and who, in the testimony cited by Gangel, readily admitted that he continued to masturbate thinking of "fond wishes" for homosexual activity.) And Leanne Payne, a heterosexual charismatic who runs Pastoral Care Ministries, calls all same-sex sexuality "a sexual neurosis" (contrary to the diagnostic classification of the American Psychiatric Association). She defines homosexuality as "a condition for God to heal" and says that, as such, "it is (in spite of the widespread belief to the contrary) remarkably simple." Among other evangelicals, such views are waning. Five years ago, Christianity Today bannered across its cover: "Homosexuals CAN Change." Two years later, that magazine's editor, Kenneth Kantzer, admitted that "The evidence is clear that such a turn [from homosexuality to heterosexuality] is often not very successful," though he demanded that all lesbians and gay men "try to turn from your homosexual orientation" or at least "exercise selfcontrol ... refrain from homosexual practice ... and live lives of sexual continence." Eastern College sociologist Tony Campolo admits that "ex-gay" claims "always fall through" on close examination. He even acknowledges the probability of a "biological base for homosexuality" and thus says that we "cannot expect such a person to change his orientation." But Campolo, too, advocates celibacy for men and women whose orientation is homosexual. Increasingly, some evangelicals are moving all the way to the position espoused by Evangelicals Concerned, supporting a realistic integration of same-sex relationship and biblical faithing. As early as 1978, Richard Quebe. THE 14/0pen Hands • • •• •----..-,. ••••••••••••••••••••• love for the Lord is so much greater, the choice is simple. • • I am not asking you to sanction my actions. That is not the purpose of my writing this at all. It is for the express purpose of allowing each one who will read this to know how I weighed things in my own mind I don't want you to think that, "I alone," should have been the perfect person, without sin. That would be ridiculous! It is the continuing lack of strength and/or obedience and/or willpower to cast aside certain sins. To continually go before God and ask forgiveness and make promises you kno you can't keep is more than I can take. I feel it is making a mockery of God and all He stands for in my life. Please know that I am extremely happy to be going to the Lord. He knows my heart and kno how much I love life and all that it has to offer. But, He knows that I love Him more. That is why I believe that 1will be with Him in Paradise. I regret if I bring sorrow to those that are left behind. Ifyou get your heart in tune with the word of God you will be as happy about my "transfer" as I am. I also hope that this answers sufficiently the question, why? May God Have Mercy On My Soul. A Brother & A Friend, JACK the sun [comes out] and the clothes [come] off, ['ex-gays' have] a full blown problem." He admits that even "during love for the same sex." He says that such ambivalence (continued on pg. 16) deaux observed in The Worldly Evangelicals, "Right and center evangelicals may continue to say 'no' to homosexual practice explicitly and homosexual orientation implicitly; but it seems likely that left evangelicals will finally come out closer to Ralph Blair than to Anita Bryant." Nonetheless, perceived "causes" and "cures" of homosexuality are still quite confused and confusing among most evangelicals, fundamentalists, and charismatics. It does not, of course, take much beyond chutzpah to posture righteous indignation and promise "freedom from homosexuality," especially if the one who makes the promise is a heterosexual who says that it is really up to God to heal. It requires quite something else to offer an effective way out of homosexual orientation. And no matter what they claim, it is obvious that nobody is delivering on deliverance. he claims of "ex-gays" themselves also vary considerably. Many frankly admit that, contrary to Payne's claims, "healing" of homosexuality is not "remarkably simple." They know from their own experience what daily and even hourly struggles they are up against. In a recent interview in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, "ex-gay" leader Jeff Ford of Outpost says that he still wrestles with his own homosexual urges, admitting he is not "cured," and that he doubts that "anyone has shed their homosexual orientation" through the "ex-gay" process. Similarly, Frank Worthen, the director of Love in Action, warns in a recent issue of his newsletter, "When the winter months," the "ex-gays" have only "a measure of victory." He confesses, "One of the most difficult battles ex-gay men and women face is working through attractions we often have to members of the same sex." He notes that "ex-gays" often are sexually attracted to persons they see while out shopping or at church but says that it is especially hard when "ex-gays" are sexually attracted to "someone we work with or are required to interact with on a regular basis." Worthen, who is now married to a woman, suggests that other "ex-gays" should, "if possible, cut down the number of times you are seeing the person. Using the telephone rather than visiting the person helps." He advises that "ex-gays" seek out "the physically unattractive." Finally, Worthen says that "ex-gays" "should not just beat yourself ... everytime you feel attracted to another." Another "ex-gay" has this to confide to the readers of The Presbyterian Survey: "I have a hope that I will someday have a heterosexual orientation, or meet a woman who will help me find one. But my hardened, cynical side insists that the future for me will consist of celibacy, and a decreased sexual tension. Nonetheless, the tension will remain with me until death. That's what I think the future will be like." Some "ex-gays," however, actually deny their experience. Daniel Roberts of Homosexuals Anonymous (also known as Quest) says that homosexuals are all mistaken in even thinking of themselves as "homosexuals." According to his pseudo-Freudian interpretation, homosexuality is really "an ambivalence toward the same sex rather than Open Handsl15 The Real Changes (continued) leads to genital behavior when it is "misinterpreted as erotic." Other "ex-gays" redefine terms to suit themselves. Joanne Highley of L.I.F.E. Ministry says that Christians must "see homosexual orientation for what it is-a lie. We are," she insists, "truly heterosexual" in the first place. With such flip-flop argumentation she finds 1t easy to promise "a transformation of one's orientation" (though we might ask what the need is for such "transformation" ifthe homosexual orientation is really just "a lie" all along). At any rate, she says that such "transformation ofone's orientation" is done through a "change ofidentity-recognition of being a new creation." o matter what they over-claim in promoting their movement, careful examination ofmost ofthe claims of the "ex-gays" -at least in their fine-print disclaimersshows far more modest promises. Some of their stories of so-called deliverances don't even focus on sexual orientation or behavior, offering instead illogical "proofs" of change. For example, in an article entitled "Showing Homosexuals a Way Out" and published in the conservative United Methodist magazine, Good News, reporter James Robb relates the testimony ofa man who "was once a practicing homosexual. Now he's set up in ministry." How that man's change of career automatically proved any change in sexual orientation or behavior is never demonstrated. In another issue, Good News has printed the testimony of "A Former Homosexual," now a "musical evangelist." But a close reading of the testimony indicates that, however more musical he might have become, this "former" homosexual's homosexuality is continuing in the form of repeated homosexual temptations. Another evangelical magazine, Message, has published the "ex-gay" testimony of Tim Youngblood. He claims, "After accepting Christ I began changing." But what began changing? "The way I moved my hands and arms changed. Even my walk changed. My voice lowered. My laugh changed." He doesn't say his desire for men changed. He doesn't say he now desires women instead of men, sexually. Youngblood advises other "ex-gay" men to "find a Spirit-filled man of God who is secure in his own self-image ... . You need someone to go to when things get difficult." How is this not a description of homosexual attraction? He warns the "ex-gay": "Allow yourself the freedom to fail. ... You're going to stumble." Christian Life magazine has published an article, entitled "I Was Delivered from Lesbianism," about Darlene Bogle. Now a "leader of singles" at an Assembly of God center, Bogle says that she was "demonically in dwelt" by lesbianism but that when she "took authority over the spirits ofhomosexuality in the name ofJesus and served them their 'vacate-the-premises-immediately' papers they had to leave." Evidently, however, her lesbianism did not leave with the demons. She asks in the article: "Did all the struggles leave overnight? No." While at first "ex-gays" may make outlandishly false claims about their own "change" experiences, they almost always soon become more honest and modest in their claims. All of the early movement leaders who claimed to be personally "ex-gay" have now dropped out: Guy Charles of LIBERATION in Jesus Christ, Roger Grindstaff (also known as Roger Dean) of Disciples Only and a consultant to Teen Challenge, John Evans of Love in Action, Jim Kasper and Mike Bussee of EXIT of Melodyland, Greg Reid of EAGLE, Rick Notch of Open Door, and many others. Alan Mediger, executive director of EXODUS, the "ex-gay" umbrella organization, acknowledges "that his group has had problems with ministry leaders who return to a gay lifestyle ...and that when an ex-gay is trying to help a struggling homosexual, the temptation to fall is great." This "exodus" of "ex-gay" leaders does not, however, prevent some Christian publishers from continuing to distribute, and even advertise, these persons' previous testimonies of deliverance. Today, many of those who lead the "ex-gay" movement have never even been homosexual (e.g., Leanne Payne, Robbi Kenney of Outpost, and Ron Highley of L.I.F.E.). And, apparently, those "ex-gay" persons who do continue to help lead the movement often still struggle with the conflict between their desire to purge themselves of homosexuality and their deep-felt need for same-sex relationships ofsome sort. Andy Comiskey, founder ofthe "ex-gay" Desert Stream at John Wimber's Vineyard asks in its newsletter, "How do we ["ex-gays"] sort out sinful desires from legitimate needs for same-sex friendship?" He continues: "Perhaps we're fearful of falling hopelessly in love with another of the same sex. We detach ourselves. On the other hand we can rush unwisely into friendship and find ourselves enmeshed in an emotional and sexual death grip." omiskey's concerns have been a constant battle in the "ex-gay" movement, where the biggest worry at every "ex-gay" convention is that the "ex-gays" will "fall" during the convention. As ex-"ex-gay" leader Rick Notch has put it: "You pick a prayer partner the first night of the convention, you pray with him the second night, and by the third night your prayers are answered." Don Baker, in his recent book, Beyond Rejection: The Church, Homosexuality, and Hope, acknowledges that even after a prescribed Bible-memorization program, "deliverance from homosexuality is a slow, agonizing process with the everpresent fear of falling at any time" into protracted homosexual behavior. _ _ In short, leaders of the "ex-gay" movement seem to be scrambling to find any substantial proof of success in their efforts. For many, this has meant carefully defining (or redefining) very limited goals. A couple of years before "ex-gay" leader Greg Reid dropped out of sight, abandoning his EAGLE (Ex-ActiveGay-Liberated-Eternally) ministry, he admitted, "There have been many ["ex-gay"] failures. ... Ex-gay testimonies are touted before they are ready, many, in fact, 16/ 0pen Hands 1 don't even have a genuine call. ... Evangelicals and gay Christians alike are looking for a 'perfect record'-and heterosexuality to boot. Ex-gays play right into that destructive game. The scriptural standard is NOT 'are they reoriented' or 'have they fallen.' " Robbi Kenney has issued the following directive to other remaining leaders in the movement: "Know what you are offering .... You are NOT offering heterosexuality ... [but] the power to come into celibacy." She even advised, "avoid calling them ex-gays." Nonetheless, with the same mailing, she sent out a brochure attacking the American Psychiatric Association's position on homosexuality and declaring across the cover of the brochure: "There IS an ex-gay reality!" For herself, the never-lesbian Kenney has long lamented her loneliness and her hopelessness about finding a husband in the "ex-gay" movement. She proves that "ex-gays" are not really new heterosexuals-even when they marry heterosexuallywhen she explains: "Being in ex-gay ministry often has meant that I've only met and fallen in love with men from gay backgrounds, ... I finally asked God to bring a man into my life who could appreciate me as a woman." This past year, leaders of various "ex-gay" groups, including Love in Action, Homosexuals Anonymous, L.I.F.E. Ministries, and Mount Hope, conducted a winter conference in New York City. They repeatedly stressed that the "ex-gay" promise was not one of change from homosexual orientation to heterosexual orientation but rather one of either demanded celibacy or heterosexual marriage (which was recommended to be arranged by a third party and in which genital acts might or might not eventually be added to friendship with someone of the other sex). In summer 1985, EXODUS held its ninth convention. Of 54 conference participants polled, 23 preferred not using a noun to describe someone "freed from homosexuality." Instead, they said that such a person was "struggling with homosexuality" -a"fallen angel." Phrases such as "set free" and "delivered" were said to be "theological terms [that] often misrepresented the process of change which most ministries teach." Ambiguous, nonsexual terms such as "new creation," "image of God," and "sanctified" were used to define what was meant by "being changed." To be "ex-gay," said Doug Houck, founder of the Christian Reformed-backed Metanoia Ministries, does not even mean "a complete elimination of homosexual behavior: homosexual contact, masturbation, buying! reading of pornography, etc." But how was this convention covered in the evangelical press? According to a news feature in Christianity Today, there were at the convention "living testimonies that practicing homosexuals can become heterosexuals." Such backtracking from the editorial enlightenment shown three years ago at Christianity Today clearly points up the continuing ambivalence of evangelicals when faced with evidence they don't want to believe. Conservative Presbyterian Richard Lovelace has also displayed this ambivalence. Not long ago he repeatedly referred to EXIT of Melodyland as the "ex-gay" organization that was "most successful in bringing persons out of the homosexual lifestyle." Now that the cofounders of EXIT have exited into "the homosexual lifestyle," however, he pushes Homosexuals Anonymous, calling the approach used by its leader, Colin Cook, "an authentic theological masterpiece ...a jewel ...a theological pearl . .. a silver bullet against evil." Interestingly, Lovelace neglects to mention that Cook is a Seventh-Day Adventist, a fact that many of his conservative Presbyterian readers might well dislike. At any rate, the "masterpiece" Cook is said to have produced is based on the idea that God accounts the "ex-gay" to be "heterosexual" even though "God knows" that he or she still is not heterosexual. According to Cook, the "exgay" must claim the belief that "God charges to your account all of Christ's ...heterosexual wholeness." It's a "charge," not a "change." And so, of course, Cook must admit that the homosexual "feelings remain." But, without any evidence or explanation, Cook suddenly announces on the last page: "In time, 80 to 90 percent of the strength of homosexual feelings will pass away." Where does he get these figures? And when will the "homosexual feelings ... pass away"? When the homosexuals themselves pass away? Cook admits in a recent interview in the Philadelphia Inquirer that he has no records by which he can speak of"success levels." Indeed, in Ministry, a Seventh-Day Adventist publication, he says, "Many Christians, battling with a homosexual problem, hope one day in the vague future finally to arrive at heterosexuality by the gradual process of God's righteousness working within them as they have faith." But, according to Cook, this "is a wistful hope" and "Biblically false." The Cook approach "focuses itself on a wholeness, a righteousness (and hence a heterosexuality) outside of itself and in the person of Another, namely Jesus Christ. This wholeness and heterosexuality of Christ the homosexual accepts as his own." Cook says that this, then, "ends the search for heterosexuality within himself." He says that "ex-gays" must then praise God "for our new unseen identity." Such a "transformation" is hardly "a theological pearl . .. and a silver bullet." Rather, it's junk jewelry and a blank. ra s is true today of the older approach to "self-abuse," ~the"ex-gay" approach would be comical ifit were not so tragic. In several more decades, the views of the Cooks and Lovelaces will be but amusing footnotes of a less enlightened generation. But those who, because of these unenlightened moralists, will have forfeited a rewarding intimacy for the true self-abuse of isolation, enforced celibacy, and even promiscuity will be beyond the ability to enjoy God's earthy gift of sexual closeness. Whether male or female now, they will then be where, like the angels, they "neither marry nor are given in marriage." • Dr. Ralph Blair is a psychotherapist in private practice in New York City. He is the founder of the Homosexual Community Counseling Center and Evangelicals Concerned, Inc. .................................... ....................................1 Open Hands/ I 7 During the past eight years I have often been asked to write or talk on my experiences in counseling gay men and lesbians, especially through my work in LIBERATION in Jesus Christ. But I have been reluctant to comment publicly on those experiences because I have felt an obligation to those I counseled for five years. However, the growing anti-gay/lesbian conservative movement within the church now leads me to be more outspoken in challenging those who claim God calls all gay men and lesbians to renounce their homosexuality. The youngest in the family of a Salvation Army bandmaster, I was brought up in an environment where God was the center of each individual's daily life; where we learned of God's love for all creatures, great and small. That love became apparent watching my father pray with and counsel the many drunks who followed the army band from open-air meetings to the corps for services. That love was more apparent when my parents, knowing of my homosexuality, declared, "God loves you as you are! He has merely taken away a bit ofyour masculinity to make up for the talents He has given you." Each of my love relationships has been long-term: the first for 7 years, then 5 years, a marriage lasting 2 years, then 11 years, and the present going on 6 years. Mter my first breakup, I became a Roman Catholic and entered the novitiate of a monastery. Mter a serious physical illness made it impossible for me to continue in the religious life, I returned to my career in TV design, but a bankruptcy made me tum to prostitution as a means oflivelihood. My faith in God was all I had to keep me going against adversity. I did meet someone finally and life seemed upbeat once again, especially when my employer moved the two of us to Chicago. Mter 11 years and another breakup, I was back in New York. The night of the Stonewall Riots in 1969 I stood in Sheridan Square watching with unbelief while saying to friends, "Those stupid queens! Don't they know when they have it good!" I never imagined I would become an activist-serving as press and media chair for New York's Gay Activists Alliance; being among the founders of the Metropolitan Community Church in New York; and working in New York and Washington as a political correspondent for The Advocate, a national gay/ lesbian newsmagazine. While covering the two 1972 national political conventions as a reporter, I was tear-gassed, which had an adverse effect on my well-being. I went to Los Angeles following the conventions, and, in a memorial service for a young, murdered MCC member, I believed a voice was speaking to me asking, "What are you doing here?" I left the service immediately and flew to Kentucky, to the monastery where I had spent my novitiate. Those few days spent in quietude and meditation seemed to renew me physically, spiritually, and mentally. Returning to D.C., I found my priorities beginning to change. I became involved in a local parish's activities and concerned for my less fortunate brothers and sisters who were impoverished, addicted to drugs, seemingly lost in a i8/ 0pen Hands One "Ex-Gal" Leaders S by Guy CIIarIes time warp. Attending Catholic charismatic prayer meetings, I found a new release for my spiritual being and the impetus to turn my caring into a reality. Sanctuary House was established as a "communal institute" based on the Rule of Taize, the famous Protestant monastic community in France. Its aim would be a communal sharing of property by lesbians and gay men, with some members going out to earn for the support of the community, while others maintained the house and took care of any needy persons taken in for aid. Listening to various charismatic leaders, I began to believe that God had worked a "miracle" so I was no longer homosexual. Daily attendance at charismatic functions left me with little time to think of my own sexuality. In fact, I became sexually inactive. I began to mail letters to those who placed "personals" ads in The Advocate, stating that I had found the answer to loneliness. The overwhelming response led Sanctuary House to depart from its original purpose of helping lesbians and gay men, to one of converting them. Support came from Pat Robertson's "700 Club," Full Gospel Business Men's Association affiliates, Teen Challenge groups, Assembly of God churches, and mainline church charismatics. Appearances on television and radio, before university Christian groups, at "Jesus rallies," and in Pentecostal and other churches happened with regularity, even though I spoke out supporting civil rights protection for gay men and lesbians. In my travels, I met other "former" gays who had had similar experiences and had started similar ministries. Many of them commented on the loneliness they had experienced, which disappeared when they joined a "Jesus" group. Like me, most believed that a miracle had occurred and that they were no longer homosexual. Some 20 of us gathered in Anaheim, California, in the late summer of 1975 and formed a national support network called EXODUS. The name was chosen to be indicative of the goal to lead lesbians and gay men to "freedom" from their lifetyle. Moments of tension occurred when I questioned the others' stand on gay/ lesbian rights and insisted that there was nothing wrong with a same-sex love relationship void of sex, even if that love was shown by holding or kissing the other person. The discussions that followed showed "cracks" in the "miracle" cures as confessions spoke of occasional reversions to the previous lifestyle. After I returned to the Washington area, I changed the name of my ministry to LIBERATION in Jesus Christ, and a new board of directors was formed under the patronage of an Episcopal Church in Fairfax, Virginia. First an apartment in Arlington, then a house in Fairfax, were used as residences for those desiring counseling. In counseling, I found many individuals with a deeprooted guilt because of their sexual preference or who assumed they were gay because of an experimental experience with homosexual behavior on one or two occasions under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When told experimentation is a part of sexual maturation, many lost their fears and guilt, with some going on to marry and have families. ( The ministry was active for fwe years, which formed an intense period for me. Participation in various church and group prayer meetings, counseling by mail and in person, maintenance of the residence, and lecturing in schools and churches left little time for me to even consider my own sexuality. In 1977, while I was lecturing at Princeton, threats were made against me by a storefront pastor in a small New Jersey town. A teenager he was counseling had come to LIBERATION for help, even though he had been told not to come to Virginia. When he arrived on a Saturday afternoon, he said he felt tired and ill and spent the rest of the day in bed. He did not attend church with the group on Sunday, and, on our return, he told us his grandmother was extremely ill and he had to return home immediately. After he left, we discussed his strange behavior, agreeing his parents and another pastor should be notified of his decision to leave. We were informed that his grandmother was not ill and that no one had called him. He had called the pastor, claiming I had seduced him. We were shocked at the charge, since we were then sleeping in single beds, three in two bedrooms and three in the living room on cots and a sofa. The bedroom doors had never been closed except when he had been alone in the one room. Unfortunately, the storefront pastor would not let anyone confront the accuser face to face regarding the charges, insisting that, as a "man of God," he would not lie regarding the young man's confession. The toll of refuting the charges put a tremendous strain on me, physically and mentally, and fatigue put me in the hospital. The board of directors decided to dissolve LIBERATION and turn all files and assets over to another "ex-gay" ministry. I enrolled at Elim Bible Institute in upstate New York to recover my physical, mental, and spiritual strength. It was at Elim that I became aware of, and witnessed firsthand, the brainwashing methods some fundamentalist and evangelical sects use. It was also at Elim that God gave me insight into the divine word, while I was studying and translating from the Greek. The inconsistencies, the errors, the misinterpretations introduced into the scriptures by human beings became apparent to me. I soon realized that the God taught at Elim was one of retribution and condemnation, not the greater God of the love my parents had shown me. I left Elim in October 1978, returning to Chicago, where I had many friends. I felt a peace within myself for the first time in many years. No longer burdened with the problems of others, able to assume an anonymity in my worship, I knew that God loved me in the fullness of my being. With determination, and in spite of my age, 55, I found employment and began a new life. In retrospect, I now realize that the high we can acquire when turning to God within the structures of prayer groups, even fundamentalist or evangelical bodies, can be an opportunity for brainwashing, guilt trips, or denial of self, if it is misused or misdirected. The vilification and condemnation of lesbians and gay men we repeatedly have thrust at us on TV and radio and in print cannot come from true believers in God's word. As Christ said, we cannot love God unless we love one another. IfChrist did not come to judge or condemn, can we? The basis of the love Christ spoke of comes from John 3:16-21. It cannot be abrogated by men and women building egos and seeking position. Each one of us must find God for herself or himself. Helping that to happen must always be the goal of any truly Christian movement aimed at counseling and ministering to gay men and lesbians in their search for emotional and spiritual fulfillment. • Copyright 1986, Gideon A. Charleson Guy Charles, a former T Vand commercial interior designer and editor, lives in Chicago and is active as a support person to individuals with AIDS at Chicago House. Open Hands/19 POOI::Jooooc)bO()OOOOC)OO()OOOOCIOO()OOOOCIOO()OO'OOC'OO()OO<OOCIOO()Oo<ooC'OO()OO'OOCIOO()OO'oooooooooooooooooo0000 key offices in the church. No particular decision by the congregation seemed necessary; it followed from everything Edgehill stood for. ealing through When Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns was organized nationally and in Nashville, several of its members belonged to Edgehill. Affirmation meetings were held at Edgehill. Since then, Reconciliation g Brokenness appears within an individual's g tion, publicly affinning the full participation of members of Edgehill have been g life and also within human relationships. 8 all persons in the life ofthe local congregation, g Thus healing can take thefonn ofgrowing § can be divisive and requires acts and words of part ofAffirmation's witness at g wholeness within a person or reconciliation be-0 healing. every recent General Conference of 8 tween individuals. g Ifyou are interested in how your local the United Methodist Church. 8 Occurrences of brokenness and healing are 8 church can become a Reconciling CongregaWhen the Reconciling Congrega8 evident in the following stories oftwo local § tion, these examples may stimulate your think§ churches becoming Reconciling Congregations. 8 ing about what steps are most appropriate for tion Program was begun following 8 Confronting concerns that are deeply personal 8 your congregation. You might also consider the 1984 General Conference, Edge8 (for example, human sexuality) and in which 8 using these two stories as case studies for dishill was strongly supportive and in g social nonns are in flux exacerbates divergent g cussing "healing" in a church school class or October 1984 officially became a 8 feelings within and between individuals. The 8 study group. Questions for reflection are proReconciling Congregation. This ac8 bold step ofbecoming a Reconciling Congrega-8 vided below. tion was taken very carefully, with )OOOOOOOOOOC)OO()OOOOC)OO()OOOOC)OO()OOOOC)OO()OOOOCIOO()OO,oqC)OO()OO'OOC)OO()OO'OOC)C0()OOOOCIOO()OOOOC)OO()OOOOO I mailings to the congregation and with racial issues or also with other open discussion throughout the sum §EDGEHILL UMe§ controversial issues, one of the mer and early fall. The statement gdgehill UMC (Nashville, members spoke for the congregaadopted at that time emphasized 8 Tennessee) began in tion when he said, "All oppression that this was in full continuity with the congregation's history and everyis one." § 1966 in the midst of the [E o civil rights struggle. Edge-When the newly organized Metrothing it stood for. hill was organized with a covenant Yet, while this action was taken that committed the congregation to politan Community Church of Nashville was unable in 1971 to unanimously by the Administrative a reconciling ministry. The church find any other church building in Council after being unanimously was located at an inner-city site which to meet, they came to Edgerecommended at a congregational with several neighborhoods of the meeting, it became known that most diverse character within a hill on unanimous invitation of its several members opposed to the two-mile radius. Bill Barnes was Administrative Council. For eight years the MCC congregation woraction had not felt free to speak up. appointed pastor and, after 20 years, shiped on Sunday evenings in In fact, over the years the congregacontinues as such. During this time Edgehill's building, until they obtion had not been as unanimous as it the congregation has incorporated had appeared. So strong had been great diversity and carried on an tained their own building. This the perception of Edgehill's stand extremely wide variety of ministries arrangement caused a controversy that persons not in sympathy with it in its community. It has gradually in the Tennessee Annual Conference, and the Edgehill congregahad either quietly left the church or grown to about 275 members, an stayed and kept quiet. Clearly, recaverage attendance of 125, and an tion held a series of meetings at onciliation and healing with the annual budget of over $100,000. which it developed both a written several quiet dissenters were needAlthough racial issues dominaagreement with the MCC coned. As a member of Affirmation put ted Edgehill's beginnings, its foungregation and a statement to the it, "When I think how often in my ders realized from the start that annual conference articulating its life I've not dared to be honest, it other forms of reconciliation were convictions. The latter statement makes me feel terrible to think that also implied by its covenant and by was unanimously affirmed at a conwe have put others in that position." the nature of the gospel. Beginning gregational meeting, with general agreement that Edgehill's covenant A plan of reconciliation was dewith a draft counseling center durclearly called for such a reconcilveloped and put into operation. ing the war in Vietnam, the conTwo members who were not gay/ gregation has been heavily involved ing stand. lesbian sought out the several perto this day in the peace movement. Meanwhile, several Edgehill sons who were quietly unhappy Many justice issues have been members had identified themabout the Reconciling Congregaaddressed over the years. When the tion Program and invited them to a question was raised as to whether selves as lesbian or gay. Other lesshort- term study group, meeting in the congregation should deal only bians and gay men joined the congregation. Some were elected to the homes of participants. 20/0pen Hands he first two evenings were deT voted to study and discussion of what the Bible teaches about sexual orientation. Discussion of John Boswell's book Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality formed the basis of the first evening's discussion. The second evening focused on conservative views. The aim of these two sessions was not to get everyone to agree with Boswell but to persuade those who thought that there was only one Christian view that this was a matter about which Christians could in good conscience disagree and respect one another's beliefs. The third evening was devoted to study and discussion of what the Bible teaches about reconciliation when disputes arise among Christians. Invited to this meeting, by agreement of all present at the second meeting, were two members of Affirmation and the pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church. The evening ended in strong expressions of mutual love and an agreement that no further sessions were needed. Would that we could say no one left the church as a result. That was not quite the case. One couple, whose views on many issues opposed those of Edgehill, left after making a very full and gracious witness to their convictions during a Sunday morning worship service and after the congregation expressed its continuing love for them. Edgehill continues to be diligent about enabling reconciliation and healing in regard to its action. Matters relating to the Reconciling Congregation Program are reported to the congregation as they come up, and the orientation of new members includes presentation of the church's stand as a Reconciling Congregation. A banner on the church's wall declares for all to see that it is a Reconciling Congregation. Reconciliation, Edgehill's members recognize, involves reaching out in many directions and must be a never-ending task. • O §WAIllNGFORD UMe§ od's spirit had been oooooonr~"'n~ring Wallingford UMC (Seattle, Washington) for what seemed to happen suddenly in November 1983. Several gay and lesbian United Methodists had been individually attracted to this local church by hearing a gospel of grace, healing, and justice preached. And the gay/ lesbian strangers had been made to feel at home variously by an accepting choir, a women's support group, and a struggling social action committee; though few of the church members had known the new members were gay. Then, that autumn, some of the gay members who had come to believe in themselves, and to trust that their sexuality was the good gift of God, asked the other members of the church to share this assurance. A recently divorced father, Chuck, came out to the pastor, Rebecca Parker, and to one couple, Alan and Sue, who were not only friends but church officers. They were all supportive. Subsequently. Chuck stood before the Administrative Council and asked it to sponsor the creation of a Seattle chapter of Affirmation and publicly announce itself as a church that welcomed lesbians and gay men into its worshiping community. There was a moment of nervous silence. Long-time members began speaking first. The lay leader, Cecil, a former policeman known for his strong opinions, rose. He had been converted to Christianity by Aimee Semple McPherson and shaped in this faith by the works of Paul Tournier. He stood and said: "I move that we do this. The New Testament is perfectly clear on this. Jesus said, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' and he didn't put any restrictions on who my neighbor is. There are people who might get upset if we do this, and we might lose them. But if we don't do this, we will lose our relationship with God." Another long-time member remembered her own alienation. She had been divorced in the 1950s and was subsequently shunned by many. Yet she refused to surrender her claim to standing among God's people, and she had stayed. Later she had watched the same members that shunned her oppose young men who came to worship in jeans, without a necktie, or wearing beards. "All of that was wrong. That rejection shouldn't have to happen to anybody." Though some kept their silence for the time being, all the others who spoke that evening were in favor of the motion, puzzled only about the Book ofDiscipline's guidelines. Those voting agreed unanimously that the Administrative Council had the authority to make such a decision and that each member felt this affirmation of lesbian sisters and gay brothers in the faith was right. The pastor was asked to speak to the congregation interpreting what had occurred in the room that evening. T hen the opposition began. One council member had commented that the discusison was too long and should first be opened up to the entire congregation. His letter of resignation began circulating after Becky's sermon. A social worker and therapist who had worked with many homosexual patients, he wrote that homosexuality is maladaptive behavior for underlying problems. The church, he said, should admit into its fellowship only those who are in therapy actively fighting to overcome their homosexual behavior. He withdrew from the church with no further dialogue. Others who left included a couple in their eighties who had been in the church for over 40 years. Their departure occurred after several conversations with church friends. In her last talk with the pastor, Ida asked with warmth, "Do you think I am too old to make a new start?" She assured the (continued) O __________________________ ~__________________________~___________________________ Open Hands/21 QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION o Where is brokenness evident within an individual? Between individuals? o Could this brokenness have been averted? Is something lost in avoiding brokenness or conflict? o Are there conditions in which brokenness can or cannot be consistent with the will of God? o Where did healing occur within an individual? Between individuals? In actions? In words? o Where are instances in which healing did not occur? Give suggestions on how healing might have been reached in those instances. o Must the will to be healed be present? Or can healing be serendipitous, by the grace of God? Give examples. o Quentin Hand writes elsewhere in this issue (p. 7): "it is first the community or family of God that has the saving relationship and secondly the person." How is thi illumined in these stories? How do wounds within the community affect feelings of brokenness within an individual? Must healing within relationships occur before healing as an individual? The story ofEdgehill UMC was written by Hoyt Hickman. The story of Wallingford UMC was a collaborative effort ofseveral church members. O Healing (continued) pastor that she was still able to take on the adventure of new beginnings. A year later, the Men's Breakfast Group heard of this couple's need to replumb their home, and they donated their labor. This was a case of friendship and love that were not broken by the couple's decision to withdraw from the congregation. At the next charge conference, the council decision was challenged and soon everyone who had voted earlier backed down. Alan fell silent as much of the criticism was directed at him as chairperson of the Administrative Council. Only Chuck voted against reconsideration. Talk-back sessions were held during coffee hours, articles pro and con were written for the newsletter, and evening discussion groups took place. Those in opposition seldom spoke out in these forums, where majority sentiment was favorable to a ministry with lesbian/gay United Methodists. The 12 lay deacons, a lay pastoral care committee, tried to maintain open conversations with individuals who talked of leaving. A second vote of the council a month later was once again unanimous to become a Reconciling Congregation. Sometimes there is still pain and alienation expressed by those who chose to remain. At least two families have brought up that decision as a way to deter further "radical" commitments. One apparent supporter always expresses his support for Affirmation before reminding gay/lesbian church members how much the Reconciling Congregation program initially hurt the church or how gay members should be more active. And he stood before a charge conference three years later and argued against voting to become a sanctuary church because he didn't feel the church had done enough to help Affirmation, which wasn't yet what he felt it really should be. ,,"et there have been people to .I. help us understand what is happening and how to dialogue about it. Rev. Morris Floyd, a gay United Methodist pastor, visited Wallingford in April 1985 as it celebrated its first annual Reconciliation Sunday. Speaking with the Adult Open Class, Floyd reminded the group that some people will criticize a process, when it's substance that really bothers them. Others will say that it's the loss of members they regret, though they wouldn't say that if the issue were racism or support of the Ku Klux Klan. And even those who say they want to help may criticize. This, he explained, is just a form of "blaming the victim." Despite the departure from Wallingford of some, others have constantly stepped forward to fill in when needed. When the church's Sunday School Superintendents withdrew, another family, Robin and Carl, immediately volunteered and have held together Wallingford's education program for the past three years. The recently elected chair of the Administrative Council joined only after the second vote. "Since people were leaving in protest, I decided to join to express my support," David said. Wallingford's lay delegate to the annual conference, Sue, first spoke on the floor of the conference on behalf of a resolution to include homosexuality in a conference study on human sexuality. She then personally authored a 1985 resolution that recommended the Reconciling Congregation Program to all local churches in the Pacific Northwest Annual Conference. In 1986 she was elected chair of the annual conference session's Church and Society Committee, where she skillfully and successfully managed discussion of resolutions on voluntary offerings of local churches for AIDS patients, as well as opposition to a statewide repeal of lesbian/ gay rights measures. The faith community at Wallingford is a different one now. There are a handful of openly gay/ lesbian United Methodists, others known only to their close friends, and many new members who have said they first came to Wallingford out of respect for the rare commitment a local church made to offer God's unconditional love to everyone. The lesbians and gay men of the church acted on the knowledge that they were God's blessed people. Their faith made them well. Their healing called forth a new community. All in Wallingford are learning to trust in the gospel of God's grace, which heals us from fear and liberates us to be ever more bold in Jesus' name. • O ______________________________________________________ ~__________________________ 22/0pen Hands fiJUJtaining tl}e fiJpirif by Susan R. Beehler/Kathy Black :D"" G-r I cJ J 1 F J I J. I J. I=.:J. 1 CHORUS And we'll move, move, move be-yond our heal-ing, i!..... 14...~ F' l>-G" J ~ ~ I 1 d I I~ di I d..... I;:J J ~ I J. 1 dl-d. Mov-ing to-geth-er to greet the sun-rise. C £~~ F ~1$ ~ J J I ~. I · I~ ~ I r ~ 1 ~. 1 tf). 1 Yes, we'll move, move, move be-yond our heal-ing, tI_ 1)...., C;., , ~ I; J 1 J_ IJt 1 J J I J,-7L J 1 tiJ. 1 ~ I~ .... ~ ,,---,:e!. Fac-ing to-day to heal the world. Fine ~ R~ :Om'7 G.7 -1 I 1 ~ 1 I 1 ~ I -I I¥ J J J J J :l :i 4t J. ~d,,-VERSE I-The wound-ing of our souls you heard was pain-ful, 2-The lives of those sur-round-ing us are cry-ing. &.. ~m 1).. ~...T GT F$__J ~ 1 ~ ~ I ~ ~ I~ J: 1 ;L :;L I ~. ~.I~ --------....-. -The bru-tal past re-called to you and shared. We try so hard to feel and un-der-stand. F F:l G" C ~. ~ I d ~ ~ Ii ~ ~ I I g~. '-"0 I I®_J I:n~ I r But in com-mu-ni-ty we found re-demp-tion. And as we bond to-geth-er, share our sto-ries, a" F'"" G" I~~~ I ~. (~ I ~ b~ -~ ~ ~ ~ t Ib~ I ~@. 1 We're a-ble to heal be-cause you cared. D.C. alfine You heal our souls and weave us hand to hand. Copyright 1984 by Susan R. Beehler This song is taken from a collection of music, Shared Journey, written by Susan Beehler and Jan Powers Miller. "Beyond our Healing" was written after the early fall This music has been created from the stories of women's 1984 meeting of the Women's Alliance for Theology, Ethics, journeys, primarily in the Baltimore Conference of the and Ritual in Washington, D.C. during a time of its UMC. The music selVes as a vehicle for keeping alive the reorganization and moving ahead. The phrase "beyond our images from these stories. Shared Journey is available on healing" came from dialogue during that meeting. The cassette tape ($6.50) and in a book ($6.50) from: Rev. Linda second verse was written by Kathy Black after a Baltimore Coveleskie, 3939 Gamber Road, Finksburg, MD 21048. conference (UMC) clergy women's luncheon. Orders are prepaid; add $2.50 for shipping/handling. Open Hands/23 I By necessity, this issue of Open Hands presents only a small sampling of the varied images of healing. Those images cover many different spectrums-the Christian vs. non-Christian; scientific vs. spiritual; rational vs. emotional; traditional vs. occult. Although not comprehensive in its scope, the following bibliography does attempt to give a sense of the broad images surrounding healing. The listing of any book or article should be considered only as a suggested reading if one desires further understanding of a particular image, not as an endorsement of the publication's contents. Healing and AIDS "e/sa forum 123: The Church in the Midst of the AIDS Epidemic." engage/ social action. Vol. 14, no. 2 (February 1986). Collected articles discuss AIDS and what is appropriate Christian ministry to persons with AIDS. "Living and Dying with AIDS." Manna for the Journey (now Open Hands). Vol. 1, no. 2 (Fall 1985). Assorted articles explain what AIDS is and how churches and individuals can minister to persons with AIDS and others affected by the disease. Serinus, Jason, editor. Psychoimmunity and the Healing Process: Focus on Immunity and AIDS. Berkeley, Calif.: Celestial Arts, 1986. Explores alternative health approaches to immune dysfunction and AIDS, including centeredness and spiritual communication, meditation, and nutrition. Includes a chapter by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross on "My Experiences with People with AIDS." Christian Images of Sp iritual and Psychological Healing Day, Albert E. Letters on the Healing Ministry. Rev. ed. Nashville: The Upper Room, 1986. Discusses the need for the church to engage in holistic healing ministries. New edition includes study guide for group or individual use. Fortunato, John. Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians. New York: Seabury Press, 1982. An Episcopalian gay male psychotherapist discusses spirituality and psychology and their relationships to the gay man's or lesbian's personal journey toward healing and wholeness. Gee, Donald. Spiritual Gifts in the Work of Ministry Today. Springfield, Mo.: Gospel Publishing House, 1963. Explains Pentecostal principles for operating spiritual gifts, including healing, in both personal ministry and churches. Ruether, Rosemary Radford. Women-Church: Theology and Practice of Feminist liturgical Communities. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1985. A leading Christian feminist theoretician discusses women's needs to create religious communities and systems liberated from sexism. One chapter, "Healing our Wounds: Overcoming the Violence of Patriarchy," briefly discusses the importance of healing throughout religious history, then presents rites for various healing services. Melburg, Albert L. Sound Body/Sound Mind. Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1984. Focuses on a holistic health program, rather than traditional illness-oriented medicine, to stress Christians' personal responsibility under God for their own physical and mental health. Alternative Im ages of Sp iritual and Psychological Healing Mariechild, Diane. Mother Wit: A Feminist Guide to Psychic Development Trymmsburg, N.Y.: Crossing Press, 1981. Proposes assorted exercises, affirmations, and other psychic tools for further healing and feminist growth. Material derived primarily from occult and Eastern religious traditions. Vaughan, Frances. The Inward Arc: Healing Wholeness in Psychotherapy and Spirituality. Boston: Shambhala Publications, 1986. Argues that physical, emotional, mental, existential, and healing awareness comes through one's consciousness identifying with one's "transpersonal self' (or "inner healer"), which is seen as compassionate, loving, intuitive, spontaneous, creative, open, connected, and peaceful. Walker, Mitch. Visionary Love: A Spirit Book of Gay Mythology and Trans-Mutational Faerie. San Francisco: Treeroots Press, 1980. Out of print. Presents a "New Age" archetypal psychology of gay consciousness in which "gay-shamanic spirit energy" heals self and others. The "Ex-Gay" Movement Blair, Ralph. Ex-Gay. New York: Homosexual Community Counseling Center, 1982. Analyzes the "ex-gay" movement-its history, deceitful claims, manipulation of psychological knowledge, and distortion of scripture. Olson, Mark. Where to Turn: A Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians." The Other Side Vol. 20, no. 2 (April 1984), pp. 16-20. Reprinted in "Christians and Homosexuality" (a collection ofarticles from The Other Side). 1984. Describes 36 Christian organizations that relate to gay men and lesbians, including both "ex-gay" groups and groups (such as Affirmation) that help gay men and lesbians to pOSitively integrate their sexuality and spirituality. Congregational/ Community Healing Garotto, Alfred. Christians Reconciling: A Process for Renewal. Minneapolis: Winston Press, 1982. Proposes a structured, yet informal, approach for groups to focus on reconciliation and the Christian call to live with others as God's children. Personal Healing Boyd, Malcolm. Take Off the Masks. Rev. ed. San Francisco: Gay Sunshine Press, 1984. The author of Are You Running with Me, Jesus? tells ofthe healing in his own life as he slowly came to reconcile his spiritual faith with his gayness. O'Connor, Elizabeth. Our Many Selves: A Handbook for Self-Discovery. New York: Harper & Row, 1971. Presents practical exercises to help one toward continuing personal growth and self-realization. Pennington, Sylvia. But Lord They're Gay. Hawthorne, Calif.: Lambda Christian Fellowship, 1982. A Pentecostal evangelist relates how she felt called to a ministry of helping "heal" (i.e., change) gay men and lesbians and then instead found herself healed as her prejudices were challenged. Reconciling Congregations Washington Square UMC Wheadon UMC c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Carol Larson Ed Weaver 2212 Ridge Avenue 135 W. 4th Street Evanston, IL 60201 New York, NY 10012 Sl Paul's UMC Park Slope UMC c/o George Christie c/o A. Finley Schaef 1615 Ogden Street 6th Avenue & 8th Street Denver, CO 80218 Brooklyn, NY 11215 Crescent Heights UMC Calvary UMC c/o Lyle Loder c/o Chip Coffman 1296 North Fairfax 815 S. 48th Street West Hollywood, CA 90046 Philadelphia, PA 19143 Wesley UMC Christ UMC c/o Patty Orlando c/o Kay Moore 1343 E. Barstow Avenue 4th & Eye Streets, SW Fresno, CA 93710 Washington, DC 20024 Bethany UMC Sl John's UMC c/o Kim Smith c/o Howard Nash 1268 Sanchez Street 2705 St. Paul Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Baltimore, MD 21218 Sunnyhills UMC Edgehill UMC c/o Martha Chow c/o Hoyt Hickman 335 Dixon Road 1502 Edgehill Avenue Milpitas, CA 95035 Nashville, TN 37212 Wallingford UMC Central UMC c/o Chuck Richards c/o Howard Abts 2115 N. 42nd Street 701 West Central at Seattle, WA 98103 Scottwood Toledo, OH 43610 Capitol Hill UMC c/o Pat Dougherty University UMC 128 Sixteenth Street East c/o Steven Webster Seattle, WA 98112 1127 University Avenue Madison, WI 53715 24/ 0pen Hands https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1bac215b87a578af7d2e40e810faeda7.pdf acebf740682ca1f85f7b7c137a93cbbd Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 2 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1987 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document t~N;:r¥~: YjN ~ ~~*~.,., ~, ~ ,~ , FORMERLY ::;F~ .',. " c "'''M~nna fC?~ the ~ourney" 1t!]IIyourljearf Irue -10 my "earl €II nu-ne II-I 0 yOUrJI__ __ _ ';Jf il il, give me your"and:' ~infer 1{}87 : ';}(ingl 10:15 1Jo/_2, 'J\[o_ J INSIDE THIS ISSUE "Heterosexism: A Systemic and Personal Evil" ....... ... 4 By Virginia Ramey Mollenkott "On Closets and Coming Out" ....................... . 10 By Patricia Broughton "Confronting Homophobia: An Educational Model" ...............16 By Mary Jo Osterman The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc., as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to this issue: Jeanne Barnett Paula E. Murphy Mark Bowman Mary Jo Patricia Osterman Broughton Rebecca Parker Joanne Brown Suzanne Pharr Kristan Burkert Beth Richardson Mary E. Hunt Bradley Rymph Scott Mierding Lois Seifert Virginia Ramey Graphic artist: Mollenkott Brenda Roth Open Hands (formerly Manna tor the Journey) is published four times a year. SubSCription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1987 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc. ISSN 0888-8833 2/0pen Hands II'JIJ ':Jour ljearf frue -fa m':J "earf al min e il to ':Jounl.... ';l.1if ii, give me ':Jour"and:' Z';](ingl JC:J5 I 01 t"e~concilingCongregation ~ogtam Contents Homophobia. The fear of gay/lesbian people and issues is rampant in our church, our society, our families, and ourselves. It can be found not only among heterosexual persons but also among gay men and lesbians. Antilesbian/gay hysteria appears to be growing. This is seen in statements and action by church bodies, acts of violence against lesbians/gay men, court cases, and inflammatory statements by religious and secular leaders. In the midst of this maelstrom of fear, we hope to bring a bit of calm and a great deal of energy to enable each of us to stand up to this fear. After Mary Jo Osterman briefly defines homophobia (HUnderstanding Homophobia, "p.3), Virginia Ramey Mollenkott provides a foundation for dealing with the issues in "Heterosexism: A Systemic and Personal Evil" (p. 4). Mary E. Hunt introduces the personal struggles that confront gay men and lesbians because of homophobia in "Another Pain, Another Promise" (p. 7). Jeanne Barnett, Patricia Broughton, and Scott Mierding each share their own experiences: "Just Be Invisible" (p. 8), "On Closets and Coming Out" (p. 10), and '~lone in the Crowd" (p. 11). Broughton's "coming out" has received wide coverage in the United Methodist press because of her position with the denomination's General Commission on the Status and Role of Women. That commission undertook a study of homophobia and sexism last spring, and Kristan Burkert reports on that work in "First Steps on a Journey" (p. 18). Lois Seifert and Paula E. Murphy also relate how "Churches Take the Initiative," reporting from the California-Pacific and Rocky Mountain annual conferences (pp. 20-21). Mary Jo Osterman discusses a workshop model she developed for challenging homophobia ("Confronting Homophobia: An Educational Model, " p. 16). Homophobia's effects are felt throughout society, not just in the church. In "The Connection Between Homophobia and Violence Against Women" (p. 12), Suzanne Pharr explains how homophobia relates to her work in domestic violence. Bradley Rymph discusses the relationship between "AIDS and Homophobia" (p. 14). We once again offer our regular features SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 15), written by Rebecca Parker, a clergywoman in the Pacific Northwest Conference who serves on the UMC General Board of Discipleship; RESOURCES (p. 22); and RCP REPORT (p. 23). We hope that this issue will give increased courage to all of us as we work, speak, and live for justice for all people. NEXT ISSUE'S THEME: Minorities within a Minority o p H o B H o I A y y B M A R J o o s T E R M A N Irrational fear of homosexuality and of homosexual persons is a basic characteristic of our society. In the early 1970s, Dr. George Weinberg coined the term homophobia to describe this phenomenon. Since then, many social scientists, therapists, and others have used homophobia or its related term heterosexism to refer to this widespread problem.l All people are to some extent homophobic, just as all people in this society are to some degree sexist, racist, and ageist. People who have worked through their personal homophobia are still caught in the more systemic levels. Gay men and lesbians, no less than straight men and women, are homophobic on both personal and systemic levels. However, even though all people are homophobic, not all people are homophobic for the same reason. In fact, people's homophobia comes from different sources and serves different functions.2 A person's attitude toward homosexuality may be based on a first experience with a gay man or lesbian. If that experience was traumatic, fearful, or insulting, that experience may feed the person's homophobia. Such homophobia may have an experientialfunction, designed to help that person "make sense" of specific past experience. The fear is built on a perceived need to protect oneself from further intrusion or assault. Some persons are homophobic because of their own inner conflict about sexuality. They may have had a homosexual experience. They may have homosexual fantasies or may feel some attraction to persons oftheir own gender. Because they lack an explanation of human sexuality adequate to deal with these conflicts, they may use rigid categories. They box off people into "me" and "them," "good" and "bad." For these people, homophobia has a defensive junction, designed to help them cope with their personal conflict. The fear here is based on a need to keep one's own shaky identity together. Still other persons are homophobic for a symbolic reason. That is, some persons need to acknowledge their identity by expressing a stance taken by a group that is important to them. Thus, a person closely tied to a group or institution that is homophobic (e.g., the church, the Moral Majority, one's family) will tend also to be homophobic out of loyalty to and identification with that group or institution. For a fourth group of people, homophobia has a political function. These people need to predict and control the actions of other persons and groups so they are kept from important decision-making roles. This function of homophobia operates on an assumption that power is limited and to be closely hoarded by those already in power. This function can be seen at work in persons concerned about keeping gay men and lesbians invisible and out of leadership positions. Sometimes, this form of homophobia is camouflaged by theological and biblical issues. The fear here is that a "different" group of people will take over, change the nature of "our" group or institution, and influence people in different directions than "we" want them to go. Finally, homophobia can serve an economic junction. Operating out of a model of scarcity and privilege, our society offers jobs, goods, and services as rewards for certain behaviors and lifestyles and withholds them as punishment when persons do not conform to acceptable lifestyles and behaviors. The effects ofthis function of homophobia are apparent. Witness the continuous loss of careers, the tremendous drop in income, and the scarcity of services for gay men and lesbians who have "come out." The fear here appears to be that "approving" of gay men and lesbians will give them access to houses in "our" neighborhoods, to jobs "we" might otherwise get, and to services that are already scarce. With all these functions that homophobia serves, one might easily assume that overcoming homophobia in oneself, the church, or society is impossible. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no. Through committed, deliberate efforts, homophobia can be successfully confronted. Later in the issue (see page 16), I discuss one model that has proved successful at challenging homophobia-the use of carefully designed and facilitated workshops .• 1. For further discussion, see my monograph, Homophobia Is a Social Disease (Evanston, Ill.: Kinheart, Inc,. 1987). 2. The first three ofthese functions (experiential, defensive, symbolic) are adapted from Gregory M. Herek, "Beyond 'Homophobia': A Social Psychological Perspective onAttitudes toward Lesbians and Gay Men"; in John P. De Cecco, ed., Bashers. Baiters. and Bigots: Homophobia in American Society (New York: Harrington Park Press, 1985), pp. 1-21. I have added the broader systemic functions. Mary 10 Osterman is a cofounder and codirector of Kinhean. Inc.. in Evanston. flUnois. A former assistant professor of Christian education at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. she is a member of Wheadon UMC, a Reconciling Congregation. Open Hands/3 H E R o As Christian churches attempt to become more inclusive, one of their most difficult challenges is the task of overcoming internal heterosexism so they can help society to do the same. Although discussion around this issue usually centers on the term homophobia, I have come to prefer the term heterosexism. Homophobia sounds like a private, clinical problema morbid, hysterical abnormality that other people have. There is nothing private about heterosexism, however. The asssumptions underlying heterosexism-like those underlying racism, sexism, handicapism, ageism, classism, nationalism, and militarism-are so pervasive in "Heterosexism ... is a system ofcoercion that demands heterosexuality in return for jirstclass citizenship. " their effects on each of us that we do not question them; they seem as if they are forces of nature. And the more they remain unconscious, the more power they wield over our behavior. But heterosexism is not just a personal problem we all share. It is also systemic, that is to say it is institutionalized throughout our society. Heterosexism is a political institution-a set ofassumptions that empower heterosexuals, especially heterosexual white males, and exclude open lesbians and gay men from social, religious, and political power. It is a system of coercion that demands heterosexuality in return for first-class citizenship. It is a system that forces homosexual persons into silence concerning the majority of their lives. When we teach, write, or preach as if heterosexuality were everybody's orientation, we automatically exclude gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, or anyone who does not fit narrow definitions of appropriate sexuality. Furthermore, if we support compulsory heterosexuality, we strongly support the oppression of women, because women have been the subordinated and exploited sex during all the centuries of patriarchy. Society trains women to place themselves below men. One result is "male-identified" women who vehemently and vocally oppose inclusive language, ordination ofwomen, the Equal Rights Amendment, and anything else that might give women a status equal to men's. Heterosexism also encourages mother-son relationships between adult women and men. In the words of Adrienne Rich. it encourages a false consciousness in which women are supposed to provide "maternal solace, nonjudgmental nurturing, and compassion" for men in general -even for "harassers, rapists, and batterers,"1 as well as for those "brothers" who merely feed on female energy while relegating women to secondary, powerless roles (for example, in the church). Such maternal solace tends to alTest both male and female emotional development; it is not good for anybody. Even gay males are sometimes shocked and upset when their lesbian sisters withdraw their mothering and begin to use their energy on their own behalf; in this area as in several others, the gay community itself is plagued by heterosexism. Although heterosexism hampers the development of all women and men and excludes self-affirming gay males and lesbians from positions of authority, I suspect that, ultimately, it is more harmful to women than to men. Teaching women that heterosexuality is compulsory is absolutely vital to maintaining the power men in general hold over women in general. This is certainly the case with economic power. Economic inequities alone are enough to keep many women from daring to live authentically, and those inequities are a function of heterosexism. [This argument is further developed by Suzanne Pharr on page 12.] Much "Christian heterosexism" is based on what the church understands to be the clear teaching of Scripture. As an evangelical Christian, I do not believe that we can take that fact lightly. We need to think together about the facts of the Bible and the historical relationship between the church, the Bible, and homosexual persons. To be sure, many English translations ofthe Bible contain the word homosexual in extremely negative contexts. But the fact is that these passages are flagrant mistranslations. No word equivalent to our understanding of the term homosexual occurs anywhere in the original biblical texts-not in any extant text in Hebrew, Greek, Syriac, or Aramaic. The term was not developed in any language until the late 19th century, when first the awareness began to develop that some people have a lifelong, constitutional orientation toward their own sex. The inaccurate use of the term homosexual in English Bible translations helps fuel the heterosexist prejudice that endangers the civil rights and even the lives of homosexual persons. For example, two Greek words in 1 Corinthians 6:9 (one of which is repeated in 1 Timothy 1:10) are sometimes taken to mean that homosexuals will be excluded from God's realm and therefore do not merit protection in the human realm. But, until well into the 20th century, the first of these words, malakos, was unanimously understood by y B v I R G I N I A R A 4/0pen Hands s •• religious leaders to mean not homosexual acts but masturbation. Thus, 1 Corinthians 6:9 was understood to say that no one who masturbated would enter God's realm without first being washed, sanctified, and justified. There is no HTeaching women that heterosexuality is compulsory is absolutely vital to maintaining the power men in general have over women in general. " textual reason why the understanding of malakos should recently have been changed from masturbation to homosexuality. Whatever malakos means, I believe that 1 Corinthians 6:9's real meaning is that nobody will enter God's realm without being washed, sanctified, and justified. The specific sins listed there-including greediness, slander, and swindling-are illustrative only; they certainly do not limit the forms ofsin from which we human beings need to be redeemed! The second word, arsenokoites, was taken during the first four Christian centuries to mean "male prostitute." As they are now, male prostitutes then were available for hire by women as well as men. That this word should now be translated homosexual, negating its context of criticizing a specific sexual practice that was both opposite-sex and same-sex, is typical of heterosexist misuses of biblical passages. Furthermore, Paul wrote about homosexual acts committed by heterosexual persons. He gave no indication that he was aware of a lifelong homosexual orientation that is discovered rather than chosen. Yale historian John Boswell has pointed out that in the early Christian church almost nobody appealed to the Bible as authority to condemn homosexual acts. On the contrary, throughout the Middle Ages, ecclesiastical as well as popular literature often celebrated the love relationships between same-sex pairs like David and Jonathan and Ruth and Naomi, sometimes using distinctly erotic overtones.2 The first ecumenical (or general) church council to rule against homosexual acts was Lateran III, meeting in 1179 A.D. That same council also imposed sanctions against moneylenders, heretics, Jews, and Muslims. The fact that for nearly l3 centuries the Christian church took no official action to oppose homosexual behavior should tell us that contemporary Christian hostility against lesbians and gay men stems not from the Bible, not from early Christian tradition, but from contemporary heterosexism. And the fact that the sanction against homosexual acts was flanked by sanctions against moneylenders, heretics, Jews, and Muslims should warn us that discrimination against anyone group endangers other groups as well. Nobody's human rights are safe until everybody's human rights are safe. 3 Jesus himself pronounced no condemnations against sex among unmarried people and said nothing that bore any relationship to homosexuality. Though he was apparently celibate, Jesus had a very close relationship with John, who repeatedly described himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." Jesus also was very insistent on the absolute importance of loving our neighbor as we love ourselves and of treating other people as we ourselves would like to be treated-a point that many clergy and laypersons would do well to consider. Presumably, those persons would not like to lose any of their rights as citizens, including the rights to hold jobs for which they qualify and to live where they please. Far from violating the intentions of the Bible and the practices of early church tradition, such acts as supporting anti-discrimination laws and same-sex covenantal unions actually constitute the extension to gay men and lesbians of the same protective support that heterosexual Christians covet for themselves. Supporting the equal inclusion of gay men and lesbians in the church and society thus helps fulfill Christ's law of love. Thomas Aquinas wrote, "Because ofthe diverse condition of humans, it happens that some acts are virtuous to H contemporary Christian hostility against lesbians and gay men stems not from the Bible, notfrom early Christian tradition, but from contemporary heterosexism. " some people, as appropriate and suitable to them, while the same acts are immoral to others, as inappropriate to them." The Christian churches are being called on to affirm the human dignity of those persons for whom homosexual love is appropriate, suitable, and virtuous. Nobody is requesting special privileges for gay men and lesbians. No church and no business is being asked to seek out and try to hire gay/lesbian people as part of an affirmative action program. But we should ask insistently (continued on next page) y E M o L L E N K o T T Open Hands/5 H E T E R o s E x I s M: that gay men and lesbians be granted the same protections and respect that other minority groups already receive in both church and society. Most of the homosexual people in the church are understandably unwilling or afraid to come forward to speak on their own behalf. To do so likely would jeopardize their personal ministries. Openness could also jeopardize their jobs and housing and perhaps even their lives. Fortunately, the church could still fulfill its promise by leading the way as we seek to overcome the systemic evil called heterosexism. The tasks before us as we work to redeem the church are several: 1. We should urge the church to repent of allowing any of its members to defame the highest and holiest love feelings of people whose orientation is toward the same sex. We must recognize that people are dehumanized when someone compares their tender and holy affections to alcoholism, bestiality, or other sicknesses or behaviors that do not involve the consent and loving affirmation of two adult human beings. 2. We should urge the church to extend ordination to those gay men and lesbians who are gifted, responsible, and called to the ministry. Human beings should always be dealt with on an individual basis; the moment categories are utilized, our common humanity is denied. No sexual orientation is either good or bad as an abstraction; it is how an individual makes use of his or her sexuality that makes that person either responsible or irresponsible. 3. We must point out to churches that condemn all sex outside of marriage (whether heterosexual or homosexual) as unbiblical that they are not being equitable unless they provide a way for homosexual relationships to achieve recognition in an equivalent of marriage. An unmarried heterosexual person always has the option to marry. Unless an unmarried gay man or lesbian has an equivalent option available within his or her own orientation, the congregation's sexual ethic remains distorted by heterosexist injustice. 4. We must provide active support for existing homosexual relationships to help them achieve stability, just as the church attempts to support heterosexual marriages. 5. We must give all young people, including gay/lesbian young people, assistance in learning how to love. Mutual respect and mutual servanthood should be taught to men as well as women, gay/lesbian people as well as heterosexuals. The emphasis should be on the quality of relationship, rather than on external, quantitative standards such as whether one has a legal certificate or whether one "does it" with a man or a woman. 6. We should provide all young people with a healthy environment in which to meet a life partner, taking care that that environment includes rather than excludes gay/lesbian persons. What is appropriate or tasteful for gay men and lesbians should be no different from what is appropriate or tasteful for heterosexuals. To create social events that assume by their very format that everyone is heterosexual is heterosexism in action. It forces gay young people to turn to bars and baths, significantly reducing their chances of meeting "suitable" partners and significantly increasing the possibility of contracting AIDS. 7. We should urge clergy to work actively to overcome heterosexism at the grass roots, mentioning the oppression of lesbians and gay men from the pulpit along with other oppressions and arranging times when people can ventilate their fears and engage in dialogue with people whom they know to be gay or lesbian. 8. We should ask gay/ lesbian Christian organizations for help in developing a healthy Christian sexual ethic. Homosexual Christians have had to think a lot more about sexuality than most heterosexual Christians have, simply because society has not provided road maps and guidelines for homosexual dating and covenantal union. In my opinion, many Christian churches are operating out of a truly hypocritical, superficial stance regarding human sexuality, scapegoating gay men and lesbians because the churches do not wish to face the pervasive problems of evolving sexual standards. 9. We should commit ourselves to preaching a consistent gospel of grace rather than backsliding into a message of works where homosexuality is concerned. When any church implies that gay men and lesbians must be celibate to be first-class Christians, that church is adding to John 3: 16 by asking that those persons both believe in Jesus and also sacrifice sexual relationship. Worse yet: when any church teaches that homosexual persons must repent of their orientation, that church is actually defaming God's good creation, God's good gift of sexuality! Until the church accepts and rejoices in diversity, until it affirms God's unconditional love for all persons, all people in the church will be denying to themselves the full experience of God's unconditional love. What we give is what we get. What we see is what we are. Itis time for the church to overcome its heterosexism and learn to see in gay men and lesbians the very holy and beloved sons and daughters of the living God.• 1. Adrienne Rich, Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Experience (Denver: Antelope Publications, 1980), p. 19. 2. John Boswell, Christianity. Social Tolerance. and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning ofthe Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1980). 3. I admire Willard Swartley's book, Slavery. Sabbath. War, and Women: Case Studies in Biblical Interpretation (Scottsdale, Pa.: Herald Press, 1983). He demonstrates in a scholarly and dispassionate way exactly how the Bible was used to support such institutions as slavery, war, and the subjugation of women. He has also shown how through perfectly scholarly hermeneutical alternatives the Bible can be understood instead to support human liberty, pacifism, and racial and sexual equality-through-mutuality. Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Ph.D .• is professor ofEnglish at William Paterson College ofNew Jersey and co-author with Letha Dawson Scanzoni. of Is the Homosexual My Neighbor: Another Christian View. She is president of the Advisory Board ofEvangelicals Concerned and a member ofthe Steering Committee of Women ofFaith in the 80s. 6/0pen Hands B y M A E. H u N T Y ars have passed since the first courageous souls stood up to homophobia and "came out" in their local churches, church bureaucracies, and religious orders. Some have long since left, either of their own volition or by force. Others are continuing to minister with an unexpected measure of tolerance. Still others have limited their "good news" to a few trusted friends and colleagues so that they are able to be both in the church and selectively out of the closet. All who have come out in churches have experienced some measure of pain and alienation, fear, and uncertainty in the process. There is, it seems to me, no prescription for how to do this, no theo-politically correct route. Rather, each person's decision is different, taking into account the parameters of one's ministry and the state of one's church. Meanwhile, some denominations- notably the United Methodist, parts of the Anglican, and, of course, the Roman Catholic -have made increasingly clear their opposition to lesbian/gay ministries, whether ordained or not. It pains me to realize the impact that this is having on the Christian community. Some of "the best and the brightest" are rethinking their vocations. Some are moving toward specializations that will take them out of parish work. Others are contemplating career moves that will allow them to love fully without looking over their shoulders. I applaud their integrity. But I am also fascinated and edified by those who choose to remain in ministry. We all know horror stories of ministers, priests, or religious who come out as sexually active gay/ lesbian Christians (many in stable, long-term relationships) only to lose their pastoral assignment, their ordination, and sometimes even their church membership. These cases make headlines, as well they might, when Christian churches act in ways that mock Gospel values of inclusiveness and mutuality. What does not make headlines, but needs to be articulated, is the fact that many people have had paradoxical experiences. By being open and affirming of their sexual preference as a reflection of Divine love, they have found that their ministries have increased tenfold. These stories deserve to be told as well. Three examples, the tip of a big iceberg, give me hope that others might have similar experiences. Beth is a white, Protestant minister in an urban area. Her liberal denomination ordains lesbians and gay men but cannot guarantee that its local churches will call them to pastoral assignments. Beth's father is a retired clergyman, but not even his loving acceptance and celebration of her has moved his colleagues to push for her candidacy. Beth has taken secular jobs to support hersel( She has been active in her denomination's lesbian/gay group. She has been instrumental in starting a new local church that welcomes lesbians and gay men. Without romanticizing her struggle, it is safe to say that her contribution to the life of the church is significant. Those who have ears have heard. Betty is a black Protestant for whom the oppression of being black, a woman, and a lesbian has been difficult. Betty has been "out" selectively; her position in her church makes it hard for her to do more at this time. But the little crack in the closet door has sent many women and men flocking to her for pastoral care and counseling. She has discovered that her ministry is even more widespread, that her presence as a sign of freedom is more powerful than ever. At times she is overwhelmed by the responsibilities, but she is ever more affirmed in her vocation. George is a white Catholic whose choice not to be a priest was rooted in his self-awareness as a gay man who chose to be sexually active. He is a theologically trained psychologist whose practice has grown by leaps and bounds since news of his sexual orientation has become known. Some people shy away, of course, for fear of being labeled. But many others, especially gay men from a range of religious persuasions, throng to his practice. They know that their religious beliefs will be taken seriously while they deal with interwoven psychological issues. George says that he never imagined how much of a priest he could be. His work soothes not just psyches but souls. The pain that each of these has felt, my own pain, and maybe yours as a lesbian or gay man, is not to be trivialized Many cannot see beyond it to the promise. Many consider the promise a joke because of their pain. But some ministries are finding the promise of the Christian faith renewed and the meaning of the Christian community rekindled, paradoxically, through their openness. It bodes well for the church .• Mary E. H unt is a Catholic feminist theologian and the co-director of Women sAlliance f or Theology, Ethics, and Ritual (WA.T.E.R) in Silver Spring, Maryland. She is also VISiting Assistant Professor ofReligion at Colgate University. Open Hands/7 hen I was 50 years old, I finally said to myself, "I am homosexual and that is absolutely right, correct, and beautiful to me." I had been working through that awareness for two or three years. I then had the decisions to make of telling others: who, when, and how. I learned that telling others about my homosexuality, being out to others, is continuousforever. • About nine months after I came out to myself, I shared this with a couple who are dear friends of mine. They are both United Methodist pastors, appointed to ted freely about our lives and relationships. Then I asked her about telling our senior pastor. She immediately responded, "No!" She explained that the senior pastor was not in agreement with her stands on homosexuality and that he had objected to a commitment ceremony she had conducted for a lesbian couple. Months later I was ready to come out to church friends and associates. At our annual conference session, she urged me not to tell others in the church, including the senior pastor. She stated that she did not want to see me hurt. She also told me, "You are strong; I knowyou are strong enough to handle the hurt." But she still did not want me to tell other folks. church. I was extremely nervous. So nervous, I was forcing myself to talk. It took a lot of effort. I already knew that he was not accepting of lesbians and gay men. I was simply very scared. I had made some notes of what I wanted to say ahead of time, but I had a terrible time starting. We had a variety of idle chitchat. Finally I said, "I haven't discovered any good way to get into this subject except to say it. I am a lesbian. I wanted to tell you now, because I'm telling this to a number of folks in the church. I felt I should tell you before you hear it from someone else." I can't remember all that was said thereafter. I can only remember some of his comments and questions were unexpected. I another local church. We talked freanswered them the best I could. B y J E A N N E B A R N E T T quently, in person when we could, but most often by phone. They were good to talk to and realized that I was still in the process of learning about myself. I indicated that I had decided not to come out in my local church. They both quickly agreed. In hindsight, I know my friends were concerned for me. They believed that I needed time to understand myself, to gain strength in that understanding and not to be visible until I was ready. But I had also received a negative message, "Be invisible." They may not have intended to send a deny-your-person message, but that's what I had to consider. • My local church associate minister, a clergywoman, was very understanding, wholly accepting of gay men and lesbians. We met for lunch. I told her, "I am a lesbian." Her personal response to me was very accepting and supportive. We chat- In spite of her support and her warm, even protective, feelings towards me, I received a negative message-that I should conceal this very important part of my personhood from others who would hurt me. Since I did not know who would hurt me, I must withdraw and remain closeted from others. To avoid pain, I should be invisible. • As 1 did come out to various folks in my local church and annual conference, I knew I had to tell the senior pastor. I was in my second year as lay leader in our church, which is fairly large, nearly one thousand members. My relationship with this pastor when dealing with the program and leadership of the church was cordial, but it was not a strong personal relationship. I asked to meet because I had <'r'\mething I wanted to share with aim. We met, as we had several times before, for a bag lunch at the With more experience I'd like to answer them again. I'm sure I would do a better job of it now. He indicated that he didn't understand why I needed to tell him. He didn't consider it anyone's business what went on between him and his wife, so he didn't understand why I needed to tell anyone about my private life. Hadn't he guessed or wondered if I was a lesbian? No, he had assumed I was heterosexual. I told him that at my work many people assumed I was homosexual. The last question he asked me was "Are you going to a be homosexual first?" I was startled by the question. It didn't make sense. How can an orientation or direction be first? I answered the question he was really asking me, "How visible a lesbian was I going to be?" I expected to be about the same, still involved in a variety of areas of the church and getting more active in the lesbian/gay community. This seemed to satisfy him and the conversation ended. 8/0pen Hands I reflected on what he didn't ask, such as, how were you dealing with homosexuality, with your family and friends, and how was it at work? Nothing was asked or discussed in any of the key personal areas. He really was uncomfortable discussing it at all. And I was just as uncomfortable trying to talk with him. During the next year, the subject came up between us about three times. One each occasion he stuttered over the word homosexual. He never was able to say lesbian. This pastor's direct message to me was "Don't tell: I don't want to know, and if you are homosexual, don't be visible." • My family partner, Ellie, and I had our picture taken together for our local church directory. When we went in for our appointment to select our proof, the young woman working for the photo company asked Ellie, "Did you bring a friend to help you choose your picture?" Ellie replied, "No, we're family." The woman continued, "Are you sisters?" "No." "Are you mother and daughter?" (That was ridiculous!) "No." "Cousins?" Finally, Ellie replied, "No, we're a lesbian couple." "Oh!" and then silence. Ellie and I opened a joint bank account not long ago. Ellie went to the bank, got signature cards, arranged for each of us to have our own separate checks, two automatic teller cards, etc. Mter some time into the arrangements, the bank clerk asked, "Are you sisters?" Ellie answered, "No, we're a lesbian couple." "Oh!" the clerk exclaimed, paused awhile, then proceeded with the arrangements. The public and businesses do not want to see homosexuals, certainly not as couples going about everyday living. "We'll do business with you, but be invisible." • My younger sister, Carolyn, and I are all that is left ofour immediate family. With our parents gone, we have drawn closer as we have gotten older. We share our personal thoughts, plans, and trials of life. When I identified my sexual orientation and ran into my first problem at age 50, the first person I called was my sister. I needed to talk and she is a good listener. She didn't understand and at first thought it was a phase that would pass. Because she felt homosexuality was not God's plan, she knew I wouldn't get involved with a woman. When I did get serious about a woman, Carolyn could not handle it. In our phone conversations and in her letters to me, sometimes she would ask, "How is your friend?" and "Do you still see her?" I knew very well that, if my friend had been a man, my sister would have wanted to know all about him, all about our dates, and all about how the relationship was progressing. I became very offended that she couldn't treat my female relationship the same. She could not. She could not even use the woman's name to me. I felt that was her way of keeping me as a lesbian invisible. • Ellie and I were invited to participate in an intergenerational education event on human sexuality. Ellie, who is very knowledgeable in the subject, became a small group leader and was assigned to the senior high group. I decided to be part of the enterprise as an adult participant. We went with such high hopes. We had been invited by the leaders ofthe event, who knew we were a lesbian couple. We thought we would have an opportunity to be a visible lesbian couple at the event, a positive image. That never happened. We were separated as leader and participant, in senior high and adult groups. We thought homosexuality as well as heterosexuality would be discussed. Members of the adult group submitted several questions for discussion on homosexuality; however, the leaders never directly addressed homosexuality in the group discussion. We went with hopes of positive visibility. However, the program format and the manner in which the leaders handled the questions did not permit that to happen even when there were opportunities. The message received was "we want you to come, participate, provide leadership, but do not be a visible lesbian couple." As I write this article now about these incidents and many others, I wonder-Did lover-react? Did I misread the hidden message? I cannot tell. I do know how I reacted and how I felt. Just be invisible. I can't. To ask me, directly or indirectly, to be invisible is to ask me to live a lie-to ask me not to be myself-to ask me to deny myself-to ask me to endure the continuous personal pain of hiding me. Not a single person mentioned in this story would make that request directly. But some would feel better or would have felt better in the past, if I were invisible. To be invisible is to deny my personhood. It is to deny who I am. In Hamlet, Shakespeare has Polonius advise his son Laertes: This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. In the musical "La Cage Aux FolIes," Albin sings: Life's not worth a damn, 'Til you can say: "Hey world, I am what I am." Jesus said to his disciples: I give you a new commandment: Love one another; as I have loved you, So are you to love one another. Ifthere is this love among you, Then all will know that you are my disciples. I am me. I am a lesbian. I am here. I AM NOT INVISIBLE.• Jeanne Barnett is chair of the Administrative Board and lay member to annual conference at St. Mark's UMC in Sacramento, California. She is a career administrator with the state of California. Open Hands/ 9 A ting in one body, and one of some point for each of them is a liar.2 us, 1 suppose, the horror of remaining silent beThe truth is that I am no longer comes more compelling content to be a liar. I want tothan the risk of speaking out. stand flat-footed on the earth. 1 wantI could feel my anxiety mountto be one person, whole and coming as the discussion progressed, not plete. I want to tell the truth-about so much from a conscious fear of my life and about the heritage, culcoming out, as from fear of being ture, and reality that 1 share with my censured for speaking out ofturn as lesbian sisters and my gay brothers. the editor of the agency's newsletter. And 1want to know how it is thatIt was September 21, 1985, at the the worst sin in the church is for a annual meeting of the General woman to love a woman, or a man Commission on the Status and Role to love a man? The church is asking of Women (GCSRW) of the United gay men and lesbians to do whatMethodist Church. Members of the cannot be done-to separate ourGCSRW were debating whether to sexuality from the rest of our being. undertake, as one oftheir projects, a To deny one's sexuality (whether study of the linkages between sexexpressed genitally or not) is to be ism and homophobia [see article by cut offfrom one's spirituality. These Kristan Burkert, page 18.]. energies are integrally connected. The clergywoman from Florida As Beverly Harrison writes:kept repeating: "I just don't see what nor the support 1 wished for. Our energy-literally, the gift of this has to do with this commislife- is body-mediated energy .... sion." I kept hearing silence in reA colleague's first response to Our sexuality represents our most my coming out was a hug and "I intense interaction with the world. sponse. Finally, when 1 could bear love you." And then she said: "It's Because this is so, it is also a key to the void no longer, I stepped into it. too bad you came out. You do such the quality and integrity of our "The connections," I said, turnoverall spirituality.3 ing toward her, "are really clear to good work. Now others can disHow incredible that a church me." And then I named myself count your work." that professes a faith grounded in "lesbian." Her comment seemed to me an the triumph of life over death Do not think that my decision to invitation, an invitation to go back should require sexual-and spiricome out as a lesbian in the employinto the closet, to name sexual tual-death of certain of its memment of the UMC was made in that orientation as irrelevant or unimbers. What an ingenious way to moment. No, I had been making portant, unrelated to my creativity destroy a peoples' spirituality-to that decision in tiny steps along the or vocation. I wanted to say, ""I have require them to deny their sexuality. way. That particular coming out was had too many ofthese invitations in As for me, 1 can no longer parsimply a part of my growing resolve my days. I am at the point now of ticipate in the illusion that women that to continue to hide and lie refusing most of them." do not love women and men do not about my sexuality was to make a I did say to her: ""My work is as love men. I can no longer let stand mockery of my values, my faith, and good as it is, and getting better, the apparent lie. To continue to lie my community. Clearly, I felt, it was precisely because of moments like about my sexuality is to give life to time. In some place, buried deep, I these. 1 am becoming whole, intethe oppressive illusion that all perwas ready to claim my wholeness grating my private and public selves. sons are heterosexuals. To name more publicly, ready to accept the That wholeness is reflected in my myself aloud as lesbian is to refuse consequences of this step in my writing. When I shut off pieces of to bolster the illusion. It is to refuse process of integration. myself, 1 do not have access to my to add one more brick to the walls of Judy Grahn writes about the own material." the closet or one more moment to the centuries of oppression suffered need for this public/private integraby my sisters and brothers. M y fear, having come out, was tion in Another Mother Tongue: The gay closet has many points of not so much the negative response ofstrangers who, consequentdiscomfort. One is the sheer shame ly, wrote letters naming homoTo name myself aloud as lesbian that life must be so secret, that sexuality as "sin" and challenging is to challenge the homophobia the GCSRWs right to employ a "selfone's citizenship is always dependent on how camouflaged as a so rampant in the church and heterosexual one appears. The avowed" lesbian. No, my fear lay in society. The silence that surrounds necessary double life means that the possible betrayal by friends and our presence is evidence of the the Gay person can never simply colleagues. As it turned out, I experihomophobia. It is homophobia that enced neither the feared betrayal- stand flat-footed on the earth; there are always two people opera- is responsible for the fact that gay y p B A T R I c I A B R o u G H T o N JO/Open Hands B Y S COT T MIERDING CWSETS(continued) men and lesbians were conspicuously absent from the litany of oppressed persons in the Sunday morning liturgy following the GCSRWs one-day study on homophobia last February. To name myself aloud as lesbian is to challenge the power of the patriarchy to prevent women from bonding with one another. This fear ofbeing labeled lesbian has kept me invisible, divided within myself, estranged from my sisters (both lesbian and straight), and confined within prescribed notions ofwhat is appropriately "female." I continue to be angered and horrified when I think of the damage we as women do to ourselves and our sisters to avoid being labeled lesbian (whether we are or not). What I hear the UMC (and other parts of Christianity) saying to me and to my lesbian sisters and gay brothers is "Choose. Choose sexuality or spirituality." What I know is that to choose is to accept the false dualism upon which the church is built. To choose is to gird up the illusion of either/or. What I am beginning to realize is that for years, faced with this choice, I chose neither the fullness of my sexuality nor the fullness of my spirituality. Now I am learning to choose both. I believe that my personal healing, the healing ofus as a people, and the healing ofour planet depend on each ofus telling the truth about our lives. And one of the places I begin to tell the truth is by naming myself lesbian .• 1. Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words. Gay Worlds (Boston: Beacon Press, 1984), p.26. 2. Ibid, p.27. 3. Beverly Wildung Harrison, Making the Connections (Boston: Beacon Press, 1985), p.149. Patricia Broughton is a free-lance writer who works on a contract basis with the General Commission on the Status and Role ofWomen ofthe UMC in Evanston. Rlinois. A L o N E From the time of my earliest memories, I have felt apart from the church. I was raised as an active Methodist in Nebraska-active, but excluded nonetheless. The exclusions were never blatant. Plans were made to hold church dances where boys and girls could date in a controlled environment. I felt excluded because there were no plans for an event where I could date. Anita Bryant's Dade County referendum on gay/lesbian rights occurred during my high school years. As sexuality began to be discussed in adult and senior high school, I was excluded. Once I heard the discussions of homosexuality, I froze. The hatred, judgment, and misconceptions that Christians had for "those people" amazed me. Perhaps the most painful realization was that I was being talked about behind my back in front of my face. I had many questions I could never ask and many social skills I could never develop because I knew what the response would be if I said anything. I drifted away from the church after college. I found society at large much more willing than the church to accept me as I was. As I watched the people involved in the "Good News" movement (the conservative, evangelical caucus in the UMC) spread the false word that not even God could love me, I hurt. I grew bitter at the church for its lost promise. Recently I returned to the United Methodist Church. I did as I had been taught and said nothing of my personal life. I tried to be a full participant, but I could not. During this time, my partner terminated our relationship of two years. Still I had to keep silent. I needed comfort and encouragement, just like any divorced person, but none was available. After three weeks of growing more and more depressed, isolated, and withdrawn, I approached the church pastor with the problem. We talked of the isolation and the deliberate blind side of the church. We talked about the LaRouche initiative, about AIDS, and about the church's response to and isolation of minorities. In the end, he felt that the political pressure kept him from leading the congregation towards dealing with those issues. I was advised to come out discreetly to those whose acceptance I thought possible. My bitterness at the church for its lost promise is not just disappointment. I want to cry when I realize that those persons see us sick, hurting, and hungry and just don't care. I still feel isolated, but at least I have the calm and strong assurance that God does love me .• Scott Mierding is a lawyer in San Francisco. California. Open Hands/}} T H E c I Male violence against women comes from an imbalance and misuse of power, from dominance and control. It is based on a-system of inequity in • which there is a belief in gender-based superiority /inferiority. Through our work in the battered women's movement we have developed an analysis of male violence against women that goes beyond some of the simpler explanations of violence. We do not view it as being caused by undue stress, by the influence ofalcohol or drugs; we don't still see young boys encouraged to be directive, selfview it as the result of childhood violence or mental illasserting, and career-oriented, and young girls taught to ness. What we have seen in our work is that violence against women is directly related to the condition of women in a society that refuses them equal pay, equal access to resources, equal treatment in history books or literature, and equal status with males. From this condition comes the confirmation of the male sense of ownership of women, their power over women, and their right to control women for their own means. The violence of men is fed, then, by their sense of superiority over a group of people who because of gender are supposedly inferior to them. Those ofuse who believe this to be a battered women's movement (and not just a collection of service-providing agencies) have known for a decade or more that, if our goal is to end violence against women, then we have to provide more than safe space and service. We have to work for women's rights and equality on all fronts. We understand the relationship of pay inequity to violence, of unpaid household work to violence, of single gender (male) history and literature to violence, of the entire system ofunequal treatment to violence: this lack of equality supports male dominance and control. We know that, until women find fair and equal treatment under the law, men will continue to consider it their right to dominate and control. Given women's economic dependence upon men and male systems, we find it frightening and difficult to step out of line to seek freedom and equality, to change all of society's institutions that keep us from gaining our rights and our power. For our safety, we are encouraged to curtail activities that could possibly threaten the protection and acceptance some women get from males and male institutions. Hence, many women feel too much at risk to speak and work in their own behalf and are consequently easily threatened by male disapproval, i.e., society's disapproval. Inequality thrives on the oppressed group's intimida tion. Inequality between the sexes is fed by sex role stereotyping which begins at birth and continues through life. From the time we are very young, we are taught that there are different proper behaviors expected from each sex, and though the women's movement has worked hard to raise consciousness about these differences, these behaviors are still enforced in a child's life. We be accommodating, pleasing, indirect, and familyoriented (with perhaps a career thrown in on the side). Women are taught that to be directive, self-assertive, career-oriented is to be not womanly, feminine, acceptable to men-and therefore they might lose what little power and privilege has been granted them. The myth is that for a woman to maintain roles-to be a pleaser, a giver, a nurturer, a supporter who demands little for herself-is to be repaid with a man to provide authority over her life, financial security, decision making, and direction. To eschew roles is to be cut adrift, to be without order, to be out of proper boundaries, to be someone who gets in the way of the flow of society and the acceptable, routinized order of relationships. The woman who thinks that she should be able to accomplish whatever she is capable of instead of what is expected of her is a threat to society: she has stepped out of line. To know no artifical sense of boundaries gives a heady sense of freedom, a sense of release, of joy; and once she knows it, she has to be intimidated if she's to get back in line again: she must be controlled. She must be taught that she will suffer significant losses if she strays out there in those free open spaces. Two primary enforcers of sex role stereotyping are homophobia (irrational fear and hatred of homosexuals) and heterosexism (the use of sexual identity for dominance and privilege). It is not by chance that, when children approach puberty and increased sexual awareness, they begin to taunt each other by calling these names: "queer," "faggot," "pervert." Children know what we have taught them, as we have given clear messages that those who deviate from standard expectations are to be made to get back in line. The best controlling tactic at puberty is to be treated as an outsider, to be ostracized at a time when it feels most vital to conform. Those who are different must be made to suffer loss. It is also at puberty that misogyny begins to be more apparent, and girls are pressured to conform to societal norms that do not permit them to realize their full potential. There was a time when the two most condemning accusations against a woman to ostracize her were "whore" and "lesbian." The sexual revolution and changing attitudes about heterosexual behavior may have led to a lessening of the power of the word whore. However, the 12/ 0pen Hands I E N word lesbian is still fully charged and carries with it the full threat ofloss ofpower and privilege, the threat ofbeing cut asunder, abandoned, and left outside society's protection. To be a lesbian is to be perceived as someone who has stepped out of line, who has moved out of sexual! economic dependence on men, who is woman-identified. A lesbian is perceived as someone who can live without men, who is therefore (however illogically) against men. A lesbian is perceived as being outside the acceptable, routinized order of things. A lesbian is perceived as someone who has no societal institutions to protect her and who is not privileged to receive protection of individual males. A lesbian is perceived as someone who stands in contradicijon of the sacrifices heterosexual women have made. A lesbian is perceived as a threat. Lesbian-baiting is an attempt to control women by calling them lesbians because their behavior is not acceptable: when they are being independent, going their own way, fighting for their rights, demanding equal pay, saying no to violence, being self-assertive, bonding and loving the company of women, assuming the right to their bodies, insisting upon their own authority, making changes that include them in society's decision making. Lesbianbaiting occurs when women are called lesbians because they have stepped out of line. How many of us have heard battered women's stories about their abusers calling them lesbians or calling the battered women's shelter a lesbian place? The abuser is not so much labeling her a lesbian as he is warning her that she is choosing to be outside society's protection (of male institutions), and she therefore should choose to be with him, with what is "right." He recognizes the power in woman-bonding and fears loss of her servitude and loyalty: the potential loss ofhis control. The concern is not affectional!sexual identity; the concern is disloyalty. The labeling is a threat. And the threat is a real one, for women observe the penalties sOGiety places on lesbians when possible; loss of community, loss of job and economic security, loss of children, loss of family, loss ofchurch, and sometimes loss of life. Such is the cost of stepping out of line, out of role, and seeking one's own empowerment. Women fear these losses. To avoid them, many women not only refuse to recognize and support lesbians but they do self-negating things to maintain approval and protection. Lesbianbaiting is successful when women, in their fear, jump back in line, dance whatever dance is necessary for acceptability. T w E E N The dance women dance to keep the privilege offered conditionally by males is that of maintaining proper role, of behaving in a way that does not threaten the status of men; and the conditions for privilege can change at any time. They tone down, reduce their work or activities in order to be safe. Entire industries are built around women's needs to stay within approved, dictated roles. Observe the fashion industry and the cosmetic industry, for two examples. Consider whatever motivated women to put on a pair of pointed-toe shoes with three-inch spiked heels. Was it comfort? Freedom to be who we are (and all of who we are), to control our own lives, is the issue. At issue here is not whether women can wear makeup and high fashion and still be independent and free. At issue is whether women make choices against their best interests of independence and freedom in order to gain approval and protection at a high cost. At issue here is not that all women should be lesbians in order to be independent and free, but that, through the strategy of lesbian-baiting, qualities of independence, freedom, and self-empowerment are made threatening rather than strengthening. All of us as women need to look at what blocks our empowerment; in particular, we need to examine our response to lesbian-baiting. At issue is not our sexual identity but our freedom. We need to examine our failure to assert ourselves, to demand our equality. Women working in shelters sometimes agree out of fear to provide services only and not to talk about and work for lasting social change. Sometimes they agree to serve only acceptable women; lesbians, differently abled women, women of color, older women, prostitutes need not apply. These women would cause disturbances within the shelter and the community, and we would lose approval, funding, etc. Other women fear organizations that advocate change for women; they accept the male notion that to work for the empowerment ofwomen is to present oneself as a man-hater. From fear, women lose. And what do we lose? We lose the freedom to be who we are, and therefore we lose some of our essential humanness. Our concern with homophobia, then, is not just that it damages lesbians but that it damages all women. We recognize homophobia as one means of controlling women, and we recognize the connection between control and violence. Homophobia keeps us from stepping out of line and getting into the movement for freedom. If not a single lesbian worked in a shelter or came to a shelter for services, we still would have to eliminate homophobia because we know how it is used to disempower women and to keep us vulnerable to violence and abuse. To work against homophobia is to work against violence against all women . • Suzanne Pharr is the staffofthe Women sProject in Arkansas. Open Hands/13 Until a few years ago, public opinion polls indicated that Americans might slowly be dealing with their fears of homosexuality and seeing the falsehood of antigay/lesbian stereotypes. With AIDS, however, a new irrational fear has come forth to reinforce many persons' phobic attitudes toward gay men in particular. The signs are readily apparent. • The outcome ofvoting on Proposition 64 in California last November was uncertain until shortly before Election Day. This initiative would have allowed the quarantining of anyone who tested positive for the AIDS antibody. Opinion polls consistently showed a high number of undecided voters, despite the proposition's sponsorship by extremist Lyndon LaRouche and its denunciation by health-care professionals and Democratic and Republican politicians. • In response to a lawsuit filed by the parents of a 29-year-old man killed in a 1985 plane crash, Delta Air Lines argued that the damages it paid should be reduced because the man was gay. Delta claimed that the value of the victim's life was reduced since he might have contracted AIDS if he had lived.I • The U.S. Defense and State Departments, long known for their anti-gayllesbian prejudices, have begun requiring Military and Foreign Service personnel to take the AIDS antibody test. Potential recruits who test positive can be rejected by the military. Foreign Service officers can be denied assignment to diplomatic posts if they test positive. • News stories have abounded of people refusing to be served by waiters they think might be gay, of insurance companies attempting to deny new policies to anyone living in areas with large gay male populations, and of increased anti-gay violence accompanied by taunts about AIDS.2 AIDS is, of course, a terrifying disease, so these fears-though irrational-are in a limited sense understandable. Most Americans probably are mentally aware that AIDS is spread not through casual contact but only through sexual contact involving the exchange of body fluids or through blood contamination. But phobias, after all, are based on emotion, not thought. Nevertheless, it is one thing to be afraid of a fatal disease; it is a totally different matter for people to believe it is acceptable not to deal with their fears or for them to transfer those fears to an entire group of people. Such association is no more valid than the more historical falsehoods about gay men and lesbians. Fortunately, the news about AIDS and homophobia is not all bad. Proposition 64 lost overwhelmingly. A federal court jury rejected Delta's argument. Local and state governments have acted to protect the human rights of persons who test AIDS-antibody positive or who have AIDS. More and more churches are responding to the disease out of Christian love for those in need. One of the most promising signs that people can successfully deal with their fears both ofAIDS and of homosexuality may be Surgeon General C. Everett Koop's recent report on AIDS. Koop, who prior to AIDS had made negative statements concerning homosexuality, turned around and called for massive public education about AIDS and sexuality, free of anti-gayllesbian value judgments. Thus, AIDS is a bit like Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll in its relationship to homophobia. For some persons, the disease is reinforcement for irrational fears. For others, it is a stimulus to confront personal and societal homophobia and to view people with love, not fear. As we pray and work for an end to AIDS, let us also pray and work that this second persona of the disease continues to grow in church and all society .• 1. The Wall Street Journal, November 7, 1986. 2. Dennis Altman, AIDS in the Mind of America (Garden City, NY.: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1986), pp. 58-81, provides a detailed description of AIDSrelated fears and violence. Bradley Rymph is an editor in Washington, D.C., and a member ofthe national coordinating committee ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. HOMOPHOBIA B y B R A D L E y R y M p H 14/0pen Hands [3UJlaining flje [3pirif Song of Solomon 2: 14'0 my dove, in the clefts ofthe rock, in the covert ofthe cliff, let me see yourface, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and yourface is comely. " (RSV) with joy. AMEN. Lamentation for Homophobia L: Dear God, we pray to you in sorrow for the pain and isolation of every gay man and lesbian woman who has been rejected from the church because of fear or false judgment. P: We mourn for the anguish ofthose who believed God was love and found the Christian community turned on them in hate. L: We grieve for all human beings who heard the message that they were an abomination to God and tried to destroy themselves. P: For everyone who, believing it was the way to God, denied their heartfelt desires, repressed feelings, hopes, love, and passion, we cry out in lamentation. SILENCE L: Heal, restore, renew each one who has been injured by the homophobia of the church. P: Judge the church for making grace into law, and love into violence. L: Transform the Christian community into a sanctuary for those who are denied fullness oflife, P: Those who are rejected by society, L: Those who are falsely judged, P: Those who have been disowned by their families. L: Bring us all together into the New Community for which we long, P: Whose law is love, and whose religion is justice. AMEN. Prayer presence? Your heart is hidden from us, your Being invisible, your purpose difficult to discern. We pray to you today for all those who live in hiding, unknown, not cared for, whose joys and sorrows are lived out in forced solitude, and who cannot be present in the world as themselves without harsh rejection. H oly One, when have we seen or felt your elusive o hidden, unknown, misunderstood God, whom the world denies and whose presence many seek to banish -comfort those who share your fate. Do not be hidden to those who must hide, but in the clefts of the rock and the covert of the cliff abide with them. You are their companion in unasked for isolation. Empower us, 0 God, to make the world a place where all people are welcomed, where silenced voices are heard, and the true beauty of hidden faces is seen y y B M A R J o o s T E R M A N CON FRONTING o P H o • A gay Christian man preparing to lead a workshop for a church group thinks: "This is my chance to tell them all about the gay life; and of course they need to have their myths debunked; and then there's the Bible controversy; and for sure I need to do a piece on AIDS; and ..." • A lesbian feminist Christian thinks: "What I'd really like to tell them is, 'Patriarchy is oppressive and the church is an oppressive patriarchal place that erroneously condemns gays and lesbians. The goddess religion has much to offer if only you would look at it!' ...But they wouldn't hear me." Both of these fledgling educators make mistakes common to untrained activists in the gay/lesbian movement in the church. The man assumes that, since he has one shot at his audience, he should hit them with everything he knows and believes. The woman mistakenly thinks her audience wouldn't hear her. In fact, both workshop audiences would "hear" their leaders loud and clear-and immediately brand them as non-Christian radicals, not worthy of being listened to seriously. Untrained workshop leaders, whether lesbian/gay or not, commonly make several errors. They try to change someone's position from anti-to pro-gay/lesbian in one workshop (failing to recognize the way change really occurs). They too quickly share too many personal details about the lesbian/gay life. They use games, role plays, questionnaires, or other educational methods without providing a focused debriefing process that calls forth such elements as dissonance and resistance, as well as sympathy and alliance-building, thereby allowing conscious learning to occur. Gay men and lesbians sometimes assume, incorrectly, that they are automatically experts who can lead a workshop on homophobia, while non-gay/lesbian leaders often assume that they cannot bring in gay men or lesbians until their people have more thoroughly studied the subject. It is possible to conduct a workshop that confronts homophobia successfully. However, it is not possible in two pages to teach one how to do such a workshop; that would take much more space and a training workshop. I only hope to share the bare bones of a model that I have developed and used at Kinheart, Inc., for its Program on Sexuality and Homophobia (see box). I share it as a vehicle to discuss two crucial decisions that must be made by anyone who seeks to confront homophobia in educational settings. These two decisions involve a) basic assumptions and b) goals and methods. Over the past four years, I have led variations of this workshop model approximately 120 times in universities, churches, seminaries, and social service agencies in Illinois and Michigan. In most cases, this workshop was a group's first formal educational experience with homophobia and homosexuality issues. In developing the model I have drawn on my Christian education theory and practice, my group process background, my study of homophobia, and my experience as an oppressed lesbian in the United Methodist Church. The Model The workshop model includes four essential components that are used in every workshop without fail: (a) examination of current assumptions about human sexuality; (b) exploration of myths and stereotypes about homosexuality and offering of factual information; (c) personal stories by gay men and/or lesbians and possibly by a parent; and (d) question and discussion time. These components occur in a two-hour period. If more time is available, one or more of three other components are added: (a) biblical study, including a overview of stances on the nature and authority of the Bible; (b) theological stances and issues related to homosexuality; and (c) systemic connections among forms of oppression, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, and ageism. For each of these components, we have developed a process and rationale relating to a particular part of our overall workshop goals. For example, personal stories are placed late in the workshop schedule, after the storytellers have established their leadership abilities and made some personal contact with the audience. The stories are prepared and told in a dramatic and educational way (based on individual and group work in a three-hour story-preparation training session). 16/0pen Hands Assumptions of the Model Numerous theoretical assumptions undergird this workshop model. One set of those assumptionsabout the functions of homophobia-is discussed elsewhere in this issue (see page 3). A second set of assumptions concerns the nature of education and change. Our assumptions about homophobia and about educational change provide the ingredients for the primary shape and content of a Kinheart workshop on confronting homophobia. Education is a process leading to change, a process of exploring something that is unknown and that for some reason intrigues or disturbs us. Education includes gaining new information and perhaps new skills. And it includes a very basic, almost indescribable, process that challenges our ideas, feelings, and attitudes. This process is not a straightforward movement from point A to point B. Rather, change occurs only when our current explanation for something no longer fits the reality we know. Before we make that change, we hang on rigidly to our old and familiar explanation. We try to make minor modifications. We ignore the most blatant of contradictions created by our minor changes. We make still more changes or perhaps revert to our original explanation. Finally-maybe-we have a major "a-ha" experience that somehow causes our whole existing explanation to crumble and shift into a new configuration. What causes the change? Who can tell which new bit of information, which minor change of attitude, which sudden new perception, goes into a change? My assumption is that it is a delightful mix of many ideas, experiences, interactions, contradictions-plus a strong sense of disease and a strong dose of the Spirit moving among us as it wills and in its own time. Goals and Methods of the Model Given the diversity of sources and functions of homophobia in persons who participate in workshops, it is necessary to develop a model and process that confronts homophobia in a variety of ways. The four essential components of our workshop model are designed to do just that. What challenges, intrigues, or disturbs one person may not touch another person's fear and need. However, the end result (from our workshop evaluation forms) is that most persons' homophobia gets addressed at one point or another in the workshop. The most consistent response we get to our workshop is that we have made homosexuality real, we have helped participants see that gays and lesbians are real people, we have "put a face on homosexuality." That is our number one objective. A variety of educational goals might be chosen for workshops focused on confronting homophobia. With the Kinheart model, we focus on three: 1) to "put" a face 0I'l homosexuality, causing persons to interact with and be led by "out" gay men, lesbians and What Is Kinheart? Kinheart, Inc., is a feminist, liberation-oriented agency committed to providing safe space for women and education for sexual justice. Kinheart operates three major programs: 1. A Women's Center, which offers educational programs and support groups on a variety of issues, as well as social activities and a telephone referral service. 2. A Counseling Program, which offers therapy and education/support services to individuals, couples, and families. Kinheart therapy blends aspects of feminist, pastoral, brief, and social change approaches. The education/support services focus on coming-out issues and relationship skill development for women. 3. The Program on Sexuality and Homophobia, which educates for social change around issues of homosexuality in society. The program designs workshops and consultation processes for academic, religious, and social services groups and trains volunteers in its model. It also publishes educational resources related to sexuality and homophobia issues. In 1987, Kinheart plans to expand this program from the Illinois area to a midwest regional audience and also to begin offering nationwide training workshops on the workshop model described here. Further information can be obtained by writing Kinheart, Inc., 2214 Ridge Avenue, Evanston, IL 60201,312/491-1103. family members; 2) to challenge myths and stereotypes about homosexuality and provide accurate information about gay men, lesbians, and family members; and 3) to stimulate dialogue and further searching and learning beyond the workshop itself. The model addresses the first two goals in a fairly direct way. Gay men and lesbians lead the workshops and share their stories, focusing especially on myths and stereotypes. The third goal is met more indirectly through a particular kind of leadership style rather than by anyone component of the workshop. Because I believe people change when their own explanation for something no longer makes sense, Kinheart workshop leaders offer several options to an issue, show people the range of thinking that is being done on homophobia, point out the various theological stances that religious denominations have taken, etc. Our leaders offer opinions and experience and questions, not absolute answers. Learning to use a personal style and educational process that is dialogical and open-ended, rather than didactic and closed, is probably the hardest part of a training program for potential workshop leaders. It involves understanding that what you sow, others may reap. We must trust the process in order to gather the harvest.. Open Hands/17 F I R S T S T E Ps A its fall 1985 annual meeting, the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women (GCSR W) ofthe United Methodist Church, acting in accord with the recommendation of its Issue Development, Education and Advocacy (IDEA) work unit, adopted as one of its quadrennial goals 'to understand the ways in which homophobia, through its linkages with sexism, hurts the whole church.'" The paper documenting our work began with these calm, factual words. The tone of the paper was in sharp contrast to the tone of the discussion which came before it! As chair of the IDEA work unit and the design team that put together GCSRWs study, I know that adoption of that goal was not an easy matter. In fact, working on homophobia issues within GCSRW has been one of the hardest things I have done. Facing personal prejudice and systemic discrimination is always difficult, but when I entered the struggle in the fall of 1984, I naively assumed that we were all feminists and that feminists would understand. Today, I am no longer so naive, but am still optimistic. We began with only an intuitive feeling by some commission members that homophobia and sexism were related. Our reading had not told us that. We had not even heard the term heterosexism. The first step was to study-to make that connection clearer to ourselves. Great as this seemed at first, it may have been one of our smaller hurdles. Paragraph 906.12 of the Book of Discipline (which prohibits use of general church funds "to promote the acceptance of homosexuality") was a barrier. Trying to be faithful to our mandate as a commission, also from the Discipline, was difficult under the limitations of Para. 906.12. Our mandate, in part, is to "function as an advocate with and on behalf of women," seeking "full and equal responsibility and participation of women in the total life and mission of the church." Our fierce debate over choosing the wording of our goal-"to understand how homophobia ... hurts the whole church"reflected that bind. We were in the awkward position of asking to study homophobia. only because it might place limitations on "straight" women. The parallel example ofworking against racism only because it hurts white people made many ofus question the ethics of this, but it seemed the most the Discipline would allow. (Even so, a chorus of letters objected to our work by quoting Para. 906.12.) The major barrier was trying to persuade 48 united Methodists with no common background in the dynamics of sexism, homophobia, or even the nature ofhomosexuality to agree, before doing any study, that there was sufficient evidence of linkages between sexism and homophobia to warrant studying such a controversial issue. Despite extensive use of conditional phrases (if consensus is reached, then ...), only the first step, an "inhouse" study, was approved. All subsequent plans were tabled. Even this first step brought forth strong and emotional discussion. [See article by Patricia Broughton, page 10.] In the end, two members felt obliged to stand "outside the consensus," firm in the conviction that homophobia was not an issue affecting women in the United Methodist Church and that the matter should not be pursued further. As the study began, the commission gave no clues as to what the outcome might be, since members held widely divergent views. This was not a political strategy to defend against charges that our conclusions were made before we began. My background and study gave me a strong feeling that the links between sexism and homophobia were present and important to women. I am grateful to those who joined in on faith alone. We received mail regarding our study and these letters, too, were a resource. Some confirmed for me that homophobia and sexism are indeed linked. One commented that our study would confirm the idea that single feminists are lesbian; another stated that there must be many gay people in the United Methodist Church's national offices for this issue to be surfacing again. Some protested our hiring ofa "selfavowed" lesbian by calling this an unbiblical double standard. Some people said the issue was controversial in their region and spoke of their concern that opponents of women's issues would capitalize on any negative response. Not all ofthe letters opposed the study idea; several commended the commission's decision and expressed their appreciation for our concern. ~ t the spring 1986 meeting, one ~day was devoted to the study of homophobia and its linkages with sexism. Little of the prior controversy was evident. I felt a spirit of openness among the commission members. The study included a variety of experiences: advance reading, lectures, group discussion, mime, worship, keeping a journal, and meeting a panel including lesbians, parents of gay children, and a gay man. The presence of gay and lesbian guests and the stories they shared were rated as the most helpful parts of the study. Phyllis Athey and Mary Jo Osterman, directors of the Kinheart Program on Sexuality and Homophobia, were present and members of the panel. They led the commisy B K R I s T A N B u R K E R T 18/0pen Hands sion in examining commonly held stereotypes and feeling about gay men and lesbians, using an attitude survey they had designed. [See article by Mary Jo Osterman, page 16.] Stephen Reid, associate professor of Old Testament at Pacific School of Religion, addressed the commission on "Reinterpreting the Creation Tradition." He focused on Old Testament passages dealing with homosexuality and the abuse of women, calling us to remember the social system out of which an ethic grows. For a man to be a homosexual in ancient Israel was to be "like a woman." Homophobia and heterosexism were tools to keep men (people with power and status) from identifying with women (people without power and status). Further, Reid said that "homophobia and heterosexism were vehicles to coerce a particular type of sexual behavior that was deemed the way to build a sufficient economic base for social justice." In an agrarian society where children were economic capital, compulsory heterosexuality was a central key to achieving prosperity. He concluded that this sexual ethic is unnecessary and outdated in a modern post-industrial society. Mary Gaddis, a spokesperson for Mfirmation and a consultant on the design team, gave a powerful portrayal through mime of being "in the closet." One person responded, "The pain became real for me for the first time." After this presentation (and after Stephen Reid's address), we gathered to share responses in small groups designed to be safe and press-free. One evening we listened to our guests tell their stories. Howard and Mildred Eychaner, parents of two gay men (and two non -gay children) gave witness to the importance of parental acceptance. Mr. Eychaner urged other parents to "come out" and to be links between non-gay persons and lesbians and gay men. "I can't understand the rejection and hate of some parents," he said. Mrs. Eychaner spoke of her hope "for the church to get to the place when a person's genital activity does not determine his (or her) worth." She added, "Love is love no matter where you find it. We support civil rights and we say to the United Methodist Church: this minority includes our brothers, sisters, and children, and as such we want them in the church for worship and fellowship." Mary Gaddis told of"overwhelming" sexism and heterosexism she experiences in her predominately male profession and of having to come to terms with her androgynous appearance. Some people, calling her "sir" by mistake, tell her that they thought it would be less insulting to make that mistake than to address a man with a female term. Warren Spare, a relatively new member of the United Methodist Church, remembered being told that "all the feminine parts of me were wrong" and learning to hide those parts. Now he says, "These roles are so superficial. We need to get around that and just be simply human." Mary Jo Osterman and Phyllis Athey each spoke of conflict in trying to answer a call to Christian service and to be who they are-lesbians. Osterman lost her job as a Christian educator at Garrett-Evangelical Seminary when she came out. Athey was denied deacon's orders in the United Methodist Church by a 4-3 vote of her District Committee on Ordained Ministry. They asked her why she couldn't have stayed "in the closet" for a while longer, when the church might be more open. She explained to us, "I knew ifI went into the closet for 10 years I wouldn't be any good. I'd spend more energy hiding than preaching or pastoring." She stressed that "the church is being drained of gifts and graces because of homophobia." The next morning, after reflecting on the power of naming, the commission listened to a taped lecture by Virginia Mollenkott. [See article by Mollenkott, page 4.] This was followed by "fishbowls," groups sharing their reflections on the study. Some spoke of how their thoughts and feelings had changed. Others voiced concerns about ordaining lesbians/gay men. Some felt that heterosexism is a social justice issue. Some spoke of the political dangers to GCSRW if we were to advocate change in the policies of the United Methodist Church. And some shared their desire for action. The study closed with a time of worship. No decisions were expected at this meeting, giving participants opportunity to reflect on their experience. When the commission gathered again in late September 1986, we continued to articulate these linkages, as well as to decide our next steps. Work on both continues. GCSRW will share its study model with other general boards of the United Methodist Church. The IDEA work unit will write a paper drawing together the learnings from the study. We will work from that paper in the spring. For some, these steps are not so very big; for others they were new and brave steps. Some spoke offears that work on this issue would undermine other concerns ofGCSRW, fear that we would be identified by this one issue. In that fear, I saw a dynamic of sexism and heterosexism-defining a person or group by only one attribute (a sexual one)operating to marginalize and trivialize not only women and gay and lesbian persons, but, potentially, the commission itself. I had hopes for great activism to come out of our work, but it will not happen in this quadrennium. I have seen people change, and I respect the size of the task before us. GCSRW has been the only general agency of the United Methodist Church to address heterosexism since the 1984 General Conference. That, in itself, is an accomplishment. The General Commission on the Status and Role of Women has made a beginning: looking for linkages between sexism and heterosexism. I invite you all to join in wherever you can.• Kristan Burkert serves on the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women of the United Methodist Church as the clergywoman from the W~tem Jurisdiction. Open Handsl 19 The discussion in legislative secmen, lesbians, parents of gay/ CALIFORNIAtions and on the floor of the conlesbian persons, and pastors involved ference has been as important as in ministry with lesbians and gay PACIFIC men. Copies of all the workshop mation and allowing persons to exthe resolutions in providing informaterials, including opening and CONFERENCE closing worship services, were made available to the district teams press concerns. BY LOIS SIEFERT as resources for their own events. The conference committee kept in Conference Committee touch with these trained leaders as they made plans for district events Formed The California-Pacific Anon homosexuality and homophobia. nualConference of the In response to the 1982 resoluAs a team, they were to develop a United Methodist Church tion, the Conference Council on plan for involving pastors and key first began considering Ministries (CCOM) named a study/ laypersons in the study. By conissues relating to homosexuality design committee of 10 persons, ference time two years later, over and homophobia five years ago. both lay and clergy, from differing 400 persons from over 100 churchesSince 1982 the following resolutheological perspectives and expehad participated in these events. tions have passed at Annual Conrience. One member was gay. ferences sessions primarily through The committee listened to widethe efforts of the Conference Board ly divergent viewpoints during an of Church and Society and other open hearing and read widely, using individuals, including members of 'The Process Continued such basic resources as Is the Affirmation: Homosexual My Neighbor? by In the meantime, a design for a Letha Scanzoni and Virginia four-session study for use by local • 1982-To set up a task force to Ramey Mollencott, Homosexuality: churches was being developed and "design and implement a study In Search ofa Christian Understandtested. Several churches held semiof Homophobia and Homosexing by Leon Smith, and the United nars on homosexuality and homouality." Methodist Guide to the Study phobia with speakers, panels, op• 1983-To petition the 1984 GenDocument on Human Sexuality. portunities for questions, and diseral Conference to develop such cussion. Progress reports were a study. made at each CCOM meeting, in • 1984-To urge the church to the conference newspaper, and to work for laws that prohibit disthe Annual Conference in 1983 Training Event Is crimination in employment, housand 1984. The committee felt it was Developed ing, and public accommodations important to educate about the based on sexual orientation. As the group progressed, a subconcerns of the church, provide committee was named to design an • 1985-To affirm the personal opportunities for conversation, and worth and dignity of gay men event for use at district or cluster promote the local church studyand lesbians and to call on local levels. This event was first held at that would soon be available. churches to affirm their parthe conference level as training for ticipation in local churches. those present to lead similar events in their own districts. The district ministry to persons with AIDS • 1986-To affirm and implement superintendents, in addition to Other Opportunities or ARC, their families, friends, being invited to attend this event, for Dialogue and those who care for them; were involved in the selection of and to call for participation in Other opportunities were prothe network of religious and those to participate. The seven-hour event included vided throughout the conference community organizations propresentations on "Facts, Untruths, for study and dialogue on the viding an effective response to and Stereotypes," "Scriptural and issues of homosexuality and homothe AIDS crisis, including deTheological Perspectives," "The phobia during these years. These velopment and funding of eduNature and Causes of Homosexincluded: cational programs that overcome uality," and "Homophobia." "Per• workshops at the conference misinformation, fear, and bigotry. sonal Glimpses" were given by gay School of Christian Mission; 20/0pen Hands • Forums are beginning points for exploration, not events of exhaustive examination. • Forums are occasions for dialogue, not debate. • Forums are openings for transformation, not simply opportunities for exchange of information. Transformation implies the possibility that deeper understanding • workshops at conference youth can lead to changed lives. InforROCKY events; mation, while critical, may dead• a workshop at Claremont School end with an accumulation of MOUNTAIN of Theology's Laity Day; facts that fall short of remolding • a one-day convocation held by faith. CONFERENCE the Conf~rence Commission on Forums included speakers who the Status and Role of Women; presented different understandings BY PAULA E. MURPHY and of biblical teachings on homosex• various study programs and semuality and the psychosocial theories inars in local churches. The exorcism of homoof sexual orientation. By far of phobia in the church greatest impact were gay/lesbian is one of the calls and Christians witnessing to their life challenges ofgay/lesbian and faith journeys. Parents of lesChristians, their families and friends. What Has Been bians and gay men spoke poiThe task is formidable. Undoubtgnantly of their struggle toward Learned edly the ingredient most helpful in understanding a daughter's or son'sThrough their participation in rooting out homophobia is the orientation. Most parents also share these various activities, committee willing personal confrontation of the anguish they experienced whenmembers have learned several lessister and fellow church members, clergy and laity in their local consons about homophobia and how by lesbian/gay Christians, who gregations so frequently respondedto study it: themselves are victims of homowith judgments rather than underphobia. Real renewal of the church standing or acceptance. is not likely to occur without the tive on all issues. • Present more than one perspecpersistent exercise of responsible ministry within the church. In the all meetings. • Allow full and free discussion in Rocky Mountain Conference of the Special Ministries of • Make available a great diversity United Methodist Church, we have Presence of literature and resources. begun a special ministry of the As "special ministries of the • Provide opportunities for pargay/ lesbian presence to help the gay/lesbian presence," these forums ticipants to listen carefully to the United Methodist Church authenenabled breakthroughs where prealienation and separation felt by tically become the church. viously there had been blindspots. gay/lesbian persons and to the Heterosexual church members, once pain and grief that parents excomfortable with their dismissal ofperience. Forums Initiated gay menlIesbians as impersonal • Make attempts to help persons Following a 1982 Annual Concategories for disdain, had to enget in touch with their own ference resolution urging the study counter, in face-to-face conversaalienation and separation. of homosexuality, the Adult Sextion, self-assured lesbian/gay per• Make study goals oflearning uality Committee of the Rocky sons who were unavoidably presentrather than reaching agreement. Mountain Conference Council on and undeniably Christian. This The packet for the four-session Ministries initiated and coordinated courageous and graceful presence local church study, "Other Persome 62 different forums in which of gay and lesbian Christians may spectives: Christian Views of 2,500 persons participated. The indeed be making headway inHomosexuality," may be ordered forums, "In Search of Christian exorcising the pernicious plague offor $5 plus postage from: Understanding of Homosexuality," homophobia from within the Adult and Family Ministries Office, varied in approach from evening church.• 472 E. Colorado Blvd., Box 6066 sessions held in local churches to Pasadena, CA 91102. day-long events hosted by District Councils on Ministries. Integral to each forum were cerPaula E. Murphy, Ed.D. is a psychotherapist in Lois Siefert is a diaconal minister, now a private practice who is family life coordinator of tain basic understandings: the Denver North District and cochairperson offreelance consultant in Christian education • The church must celebrate its and church program ministries. She chaired the Rocky Mountain Conference Committee on the task force that designed the four-session extraordinary diversity in order Sexuality Ministries of the United Methodist studyfor local church use. to claim its intended inclusiveness. Church. Open Hands/2} Homophobia Education Sexism and Homophobia Osterman, Mary Jo. Homophobia Is a (These are excerptsfrom the reading list used 1985. Social Disease. Kinheart, Inc. 1987. by the UM General Commission on the Quintales, Mirtha. "I Paid Very Hard for A monograph that can be ordered My Immigrant Ignorance." In This for $6.95 from Kinheart, 2214 Ridge Status and Role ofWomen in its 1986 study on the linkage between sexism and homoBridge Called My Back. Avenue, Evanston, IL 60201, 312/ phobia.) Segrest, Mab. "I Lead Two Lives: Con491-1103. Clarke, Cheryl. "Lesbianism: An Act of fessions of a Closet Baptist." In LesPresbyterian Church (U.S.A). Breaking Resistance." In This Bridge Called bian Studies. the Silence, Overcoming the Fear: My Back: Writings by Radical WomSiegel, Paul. "Homophobia: Types, OriHomophobia Education. Backen of Color. Edited by Cherrie gins, Remedies." Christianity and ground articles on homophobia and Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua. WaterCrisis (November 12, 1978). theological/biblical perspectives with town, Mass.: Persephone Press, 1981. Steinem, Gloria. "The Politics of Supseveral models for homophobia Doughty, Frances. "Lesbian Biography, porting Lesbianism." In Our Right to education; includes a bibliography. Biography of Lesbians." In Lesbian Love. Edited by Ginny Vida. New Order for $3.50 from Church EducaYork: Prentice-Hall, 1978. tion Services, Presbyterian Church Studies. Edited by Margaret CruikDialogue. 5 (December 1982):3 Newslet(U.S.A), 475 Riverside Drive, Room shank. Old Westbury, NY: The ter of Brethren/Mennonite Council 1101, New York, NY 10115. Feminist Press, 1982. for Gay Concerns, Box 24060, WashScanzoni, Letha, and Virginia Ramey Harrison, Beverly. "Misogyny and Homoington, DC 20024. Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual My phobia." In Making the Connections. The Flyer. 8 (March-ApriI1986):1. NewsNeighbor? San Francisco: Harper Boston: Beacon Press, 1985. Manahan, Nancy. "Homophobia in the letter of General Commission on and Row, 1978. One of the best the Status and Role ofWomen, 1200 books on homophobia and homoClassroom." In Lesbian Studies. Davis Street, Evanston, IL 60201. sexuality for the religious comMoraga, Cherrie. "La Guera." In This Reports on their homophobia study. munity to read. Illustrates the need Bridge Called My Back. The Journal of Homosexuality. 10 (Fall to be more accepting and less fearful Mudflower Collective. "Our Use of the 1984):1/2. Haworth Press, 28 E. 22nd of gay men and lesbians. Term Feminist." In God's Fierce Street, New York, NY 10010. Whimsy. New York: Pilgrim Press, Other Homophobia Reconciling CongregationsJournal Issues on Washington Square UMC Wheadon UMC Resources Homophobia c/o Don Himpel c/o Carol Larson 135 W. 4th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue Bulletin: Interracial Books for Children. Babuscio, John. We Speak for Ourselves: New York, NY 10012 Evanston, IL 60201 14 (1983):3/4. A special double issue Experiences in Homosexual CounselPark Slope UMC Albany Park UMC on "Homophobia and Education," ing. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, c/o A. Finley Schaef c/o Ted Luis, Sr. includes excellent articles on recom1977. Case histories written specif6th Avenue & 8th Street 3100 W. Wilson Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11215 Chicago, IL 60625 mended books on gay/lesbian themes, ically for counselors by lesbian and a critical look at lesbian and gay gay counselors. Includes homophoCaivaryUMC Irving Park UMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o Phil Sheets 815 S. 48th Street 3801 N. Keeler Avenue characters in children's literature, bia issues, internalized oppression, and homophobia in sex education family relationships. Philadelphia, PA 19143 Chicago, IL 60641 materials. Order for $3.50 each from Boswell, John. Christianity, Social TolerChristUMC Sl Paur. UMC Interracial Books for Children, 1841 ance, and Homosexuality. Chicago: c/o John Hannay c/o George Christie Broadway, New York, NY 10023. University of Chicago Press, 1980. A 4th & Eye Streets, SW 1615 Ogden Street Washington, D.C. 20024 Denver, CO 80218 Church and Society. 73 (Novemberchallenging study of the history of December 1982):2. Presbyterian attitudes towards homosexuality in Sl John'. UMC Wesley UMC c/o Howard Nash c/o Patty Orlando 2705 St. Paul Street 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Church (U.S.A). Title: "Homophothe Christian West, from the beginbia: The Overlooked Sin." ning of the Christian era to the Baltimore, MD 21218 Fresno, CA 93710 Kalven, Janet, and Mary Buckley, eds. 14th century. Edgehill UMC Bethany UMC Gould, Meredith. "Statutory Oppression: Women's Spirit Bonding. New York: c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Kim Smith An Overview of Legalized HomoPilgrim Press, 1984. Contains a sec1502 Edgehill Avenue 1268 Sanchez Street Nashville, TN 37212 San FranCisco, CA 94114 tion on "Lesbianism and Homophobia." In Gay Men: The Sociology phobia" which argues that homoof Male Homosexuality. Edited by Central UMC Sunnyhills UMC c/o Howard Abts c/o Cliveden Chew Haas 701 West Central at 335 Dixon Road phobia and heterosexism are barMartin P. Levine. NewYork: Harper riers to women's bonding. and Row, 1979. Scottwood Milpitas, CA 95035 Malyon, Alan K "Psychotherapeutic Heyward, Carter. Our Passion for Justice. Toledo, OH 43610 Wallingford UMC Implications of Internalized HomoNew York: Pilgrim Press, 1984. A University UMC c/o Chuck Richards phobia in Gay Men." In Homosexcollection ofessays and lectures that c/o Steven Webster 2115 N. 42nd Street 1127 University Avenue Seattle, WA 98103 Madison, WI 53715 uality and Psychotherapy: A Practishows the critical links between white supremacy, male gender superitioner's Handbook of Affirmative Capitol Hill UMC Wesley UMC c/o Pat Dougherty c/o Dennis Alexander 128 16th Street East ority, capitalist exploitation, homoModels. Edited by John C. Gonsioerk. New York: Haworth Press, phobia, anti-Semitism, and cultural Marquette at Grant Streets Seattle, WA 98112 1982. im perialism. Minneapolis, MN 55403 22/0pen Hands Three New Reconciling Congregatlons TheF~t Natlonal RCPCon~tlon ~efirst convocation of all Rectries and its connection with the • onciling Congregations will be Reconciling Congregation Program ~ree local UM churches have held March 27-29, 1987, in Chicago. and the institutional church. Work• recently joined the Reconciling Attending the event, entitled "Emshops will include: "Human SexCongregation Program (RCP). We powering Reconciling Ministries: A uality / Homophobia Education," welcome them to the fellowship and National Convocation of Recon"Ministries to Family and Friends of ministry of the RCP. Following are ciling Congregations," will be repreLesbians/Gay Men, "AIDS and the brief descriptions of each of these sentatives of all 18 Reconciling Ministry ofthe Church," "Promoting congrega tions. the Reconciling Congregation Proseveral United Methodist boards Congregations, representatives from gram," "Developing Reconciling The Wesley Church (Minneapolis) and agencies, members of congreMinistries," and "Impacting the GenWesley UMC is one of the oldest gations interested in becoming eral Church." congregations in Minneapolis. It was Reconciling Congregations, and other The convocation will close Sunfounded in 1852 and moved to its interested persons. day morning with a special worship current location in 1891. Leaders for the event will include celebration that symbolically joins The history of Wesley includes Morris Floyd, Mary Gaddis, Melvin all the Reconciling Congregations as such facts as: Wesley was among the Wheatley, and Beverly Jackson in a they worship in their own churches first local churches to pioneer radio panel discussion on "Lesbian/Gay broadcasting (1944); J. Paul Getty Issues in the UMC: Past and Future." on that Sunday morning. Registration for persons not reprewent to Sunday School there; another Tex Sample, from St. Paul's School senting Reconciling Congregations famous former member was raceof Theology, will address "Images of will be limited. Registration cost is horse Dan Patch. a Reconciling People." $100. For more information, contact Wesley has a membership of Workshops for the three-day the Reconciling Congregation Proabout 250. The neighborhood surevent have been designed to focus on gram, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, rounding the church has a large gay both a congregation's local minis- TN 37202. and lesbian population. Wesley began the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation in 1981, when the congregation was approached with a request Upcoming Workshops/Gatherings to host the local Mfirmation group. A unanimous vote opened the February 7 -Chicago, Illinois church's doors to M firmation. Training workshop on involving a Wesley is involved in AIDS local church in the Reconciling G'. education at the local church level. It Congregation Program. CONTACT: Affirmation Chicago ~ has hosted AIDS memorial services P.O. Box 705 March 14 -Kansas City, Missouri and public forums on a rash of gay Chicago, IL 60204 Lh ~Workshop on ministry with lesmurders. Wesley is seeking to raise or call: Annette Oliver pW ~ bians and gay men. Sponsored by the consciousness of the spirituality 312-539-3626 ~ Affirmation and the Methodist 1\ W(\. Federation for Social Action. ofthe gay/lesbian community and is March 5-7 -Seattle, Washington " ~ CONTACT: Susan Vogel working on integrating its memberNine-hour workshop on lesbian/ tf) Q P.O. Box 10116 ship to be one people who work gay concerns and the Reconciling Kansas City, MO together as the Body of Christ. Congregation Program at the 64118 Pacific Northwest Conference School of Discipleship. March 27-29 -Chicago, Illinois Albany Park UM C (Chicago) CONTACT: Chuck Richards "Empowering Reconciling MinisThe United Methodist Church of P.O. Box 31602 tries: A National Convocation of Albany Park, a small congregation Wallingford Station Reconciling Congregations." (See of approximately 150 members, is Seattle, WA 98103 article above.) located in a racially and economMarch 14 -Portland, Oregon April 24-26 -Nashville, Tennessee ically diverse area on the northwest Training workshop on a local Semiannual national meeting of side of Chicago. The congregation church becoming a Reconciling Affirmation: United Methodists for has an active Sunday School proCongregation. Lesbian/Gay Concerns. gram, sponsors a weekly Just-forCONTACT: Terry Voss CONTACT: Affirmation 3786 N. Melrose P.O. Box 1021 Kids program for neighborhood Portland, OR 97227 Evanston, IL 60204 children, and participates in the (continued) Open Hands/23 Albany Park Food Pantry and the Rainbow Convenant. Albany Park tries to reach out to its community in a variety of ways. During the week, the building is open and used for General Equivalency Diploma classes, Alcohol Anonymous meetings, Boy Scouts, and neighborhood organizations. The congregation shares a bilingual pastor, Rev. Finees Flores, and its facilities with a Hispanic congregation. A Korean congregation also meets weekly in the building. The process to become a Reconciling Congregation began in October 1985 with a two-week adult Sunday School class. Though the congregation just recently became a Reconciling Congregation, several of its members have already shown their support by writing letters to their aldermen supporting the Chicago "'Gay/Lesbian Rights Ordinance." The pastor of the church participated in a press conference of religious leaders who supported the ordinance. Members of the congregation are actively praying for persons with AIDS and their families and friends. Irving Park UMC (Chicago) Irving Park UMC is a congregation that will be 100 years old in 1988. The membership ofthe church is approximately 145. The congregation, though primarily Caucasian, has a few Filipino members. The church describes itself as "'A Servant Community of God's People." In other words, Irving Park is in ministry to the community outside, as well as inside the church. The congregation's mInIstries include a food pantry that is based in the building and feeds 800 people a month. The church is involved in distributing cancer pads. Among the community organizations which use the church facilities are Divorced Anonymous and a day~are program. Irving Park has had gay and lesbian members for several years. This summer the congregation was involved in working for the Chicago "Gay/Lesbian Rights Ordinance." 24/ 0pen Hands UM Newspaper Ignores Lesbian/GayMinistries ~e United Methodist Reporter, the ..I. unofficial United Methodist newspaper, has continued its practice of disregarding UM ministries with lesbians and gay men in its coverage. Two Reconciling Congregations, Wesley UMC (Minneapolis) and Calvary UMC (Philadelphia), received extensive coverage last fall in The Reporter. The stories ofthese two congregations, which appeared sep-· arately in national editions of the newspaper, related the extensive ministries each congregation is undertaking in its community. The stories, while presenting each congregation as a model of Christian ministry, did not mention either that Calvary was a Reconciling Congregation or that Wesley was in the process of becoming one. There was only minimal mention of Wesley's ministry to the lesbian/gay community. Last November The United Methodist Reporter refused to carry a paid advertisement for Open Hands. Citing the "UM Social Principles" as grounds for refusal, Spurgeon Dunham, the newspaper's editor wrote: . . . the views expressed in this publication have the effect, without exception, of "promoting the acceptance of homosexuality," the practice of which our General Conference has declared "incompatible with Christian teaching" ... We do not like feeling alienated from, or being cast in the role of inflicting alienation upon, any group in the church. But we see no responsible alternative in this decision. The Reporter is an independennt newspaper whose editorial policy is determined by its Board of Governors. Protests Against Vatican Statement R oman Catholic individuals and organizations in the U.S. have made strong statements in opposition to the Vatican Letter on Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons released last fall. This letter reaffirms the official Catholic teaching that denies gay men and lesbians acceptance within the church, and it calls homosexual orientation "disordered". The intent of the letter is perceived to be to terminate ministries with lesbians and gay men, which have developed in several U.S. dioceses. One protest against the letter was a press conference called by Dignity, Inc. (national organization of lesbian/gay Catholics), at the Vatican embassy in Washington, D.C., on November 1, 1986. One statement read at the press conference was from the New Ways Ministry in Mt. Ranier, Maryland. This statement cites the theological and pastoral developments of the past ten years with regard to lesbians and gay men. The statement lifts up ministries in the archdioceses of San Francisco, Milwaukee, and Baltimore as examples ofpositive models. The statement closes with: Any attempt to undo or halt the developments in the U.S. Catholic community ... will cause serious pastoral harm and only serve to further alienate homosexual people. It is not sufficient to decry physical violence when the Vatican itself is responsible for causing psychological violence by derogating the human sexual identity of millions of people by describing their orientation as "disordered." The harshness of the statement is powerful testimony of how much out of touch the Vatican is with Catholic thought in the U.S. and elsewhere. The letter is evidence that the efforts of such groups as Dignity and New Ways Ministry is being taken seriously in Vatican circles. The Vatican's response will only serve to increase support for such ministries in the same way that the 1976 statement on women's ordination increased support for ordination ofwomen. This might be its most important contribution.• Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 2 No 3 - Standing Up to Fear: Homophobia and the Church https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/d8bf61805499290c5fd0e4b9123de6e2.pdf 2c26bc105ce6d4be0b90105a3676e648 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 2 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1987 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document FORMERLY "Manna for the Journey" !PJ!I ~our"earl true -to m~"eart al --t I m Ine II 0 ~oun____ _ ';JI it il, give 1 me ~our"and:2 ';K,ingJ 10:15 0/ t"e~conciling~ongregation~ogram Minorities within a Minority T An Interview with Bayard Rustin PAGE 3 ......... .............••••••.......•.•..••.........~ Who Will Be There For Us? BY RENEE McCOY PAGE 14 Reflections on Being Latina and Lesbian BY MARGARITA SUAREZ PAGE 8 The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congrega tions strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Inc .. as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to this issue: Paula Gunn Allen Bayard Rustin Mark Bowman Bradley Rymph Vee Lin Margarita Suarez Renee McCoy Randy Miller Graphic artist: Beth Richardson Brenda Roth Open Hands (formerly Manna tor the Journey) is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint IS granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as Indicated in the Issue. Subscflpllons and correspond ence should be sent to: Open Hands P.O. Box 23636 Washmgton, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1987 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc. ISSN 0888-8833 Ii'JIJ your /jean true -to m~"eart aJ mine iJ '0 ~ou(J/___ _ ';JI it ii, give me ~our" and:' 2 ';](ingJ 1C:J; ....~fArnafQI 01 t"e~concilingCongregation","ogram Contents American society tends to view people in categories-affectionallsexual orientation, gender, race/ethnicity, age, etc. This tendency can help us appreciate the varied cultural and spiritual experiences that make us a wonderfully diverse people. But, as we all know, excessive categorization of people can cripple us-not just when we promote differences that exist only in our imaginations but also when we use differences to deny our common personal and spiritual needs or to block us from relating to each other. As reconcilers within church and society, we strive to more completely celebrate our valuable differences, as well as similarities, as part of God's creation and as essential to the creativity and vitality of human society. In this issue of Open Hands, we examine what it can mean to simultaneously be an ethnic minority within a predominantly white lesbian/gay culture and a lesbian/gay minority within a predominantly heterosexual racial minority. In (~n Interview with Bayard Rustin" (p. 3), a close aide to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., shares the joys and tensions that surrounded his being a gay Black man in the public eye during King's campaigns. Finding one's way amid double prejudice can be difficult and painful, as Margarita Suarez and Renee McCoy relate in HReflections on Being Latina and Lesbian" (p. 8) and "Who Will Be Therefor Us'!" (p. 14). A racial group's unique cultural history can be an important element in reconciling one's sexual identity with one's ethnic identity. Sometimes, this history can be essentially supportive, as Paula Gunn Allen tells us it is in many Native American traditions (HDisCo~ering Tribal Memories, " p. 11). At other times, cultural histories can make "coming out" particularly difficult, as Yee Lin explains in (~gainst the Cu"ent" (p. 18). Poetry can powerfully relate the struggles and joys that are experienced in daily life. In this issue, we present the offerings of various lesbian and gay poets of color (pp. 10,13,16). In SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 17), Randy Miller shares with us (~Litany for Freedom, " drawing on the great Black anthem "Lift Every Voice and Sing." Miller is a graduate of Candler School of Theology who works in youth ministries. RESOURCES (p. 20) notes books, journals, and organizations with special focuses on the experiences of lesbians and gay men of color. The RCP REPORT (p. 21) shares the celebrations and deliberations that comprised the first national convocation of Reconciling Congregations, "Empowering Reconciling Ministries," held March 27-29, 1987, in Chicago. We wish to acknowledge a grant from the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance Education Fund of Washington, D.C., to assist in the printing and mailing ofthis issue. NEXT ISSUE'S THEME: Celebrating Lesbian/Gay Culture 2 Open Hands An Interview with Bayard 'T PHOTOGRAPHS BY MARK BOWMAN 'T Bayard Rustin is one of the outstanding human rights proponents and strategists of our day. Usually working out of the public spotlight, Rustin s socioeconomic analysis, commitment to nonviolent social change, and tactical organizing have been integral to the civil rights, pacifist, and trade union movements ofthe mid-20th century. Born March 17, 1912, in Wew Chewer, Pennsylvania, Rustin searly life was influenced by the Quaker pacifism of his grandmother and his personal experiences of a segregated society. After studies at Wilberforce College, Cheyney State College, and the City College of New York, Rustin became race relations director for the Fellowship of Reconciliation. At this time Rustin also began his long-time association with A. Philip Randolph, president of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, serving asyouth organizer for Randolph's march on Washington. Standing firm to his convictions on justice, nonviolence, and human equality, Rustin served more than two years in Lewisburg Penitentiary as a conscientious objector during World War II and, thereafter, served 30 days on a North Carolina chain gang for his participation in the first Freedom Ride in the South. In 1955 Rustin became a special assistant to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He helped organize the Montgomery bus boycott and drew up the plans for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. At the behest of King and Randolph, Rustin was the chief organizer of the 1963 March on Washington. Rustin s influence expanded the agenda for this gathering of250, ()()() people beyond demands for integration to include fundamental economic and social reforms. Rustin founded the A. Philip Randolph Institute in 1964 to build coalitionsfor social change between the labor movement, the black community, and other groups. While serving as executive director there, he has become increasingly well-known as a commentator on human rights and social change. As a gay man, Bayard Rustin has been subjected to private and public castigation throughout his career. While, in his own words, he "never came out ofthe closet with flags flying," Rustin has not compromised his position as a social pioneer who happens to be gay. In this interview with Open Hands, Rustin addresses this part of his life most often ignored in other public forums. Starting back at the beginning, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, what did you absorb, spoken or unspoken, about homosexuality in your upbringing? My early life was that ofbeing a member ofa very, very close-knit family. I was born illegitimate. My mother was about 17 when I was born, and, consequently, my grandparents reared me. The family members were largely Democrats, long before most other Black families. My grandmother was one of the leaders of the NAACP; she had helped found the Black Nurses' Society and the Black community center. There were two homosexual boys in high school that were rather flamboyant, and the community, I think, looked down on their flamboyance much more than on their homosexuality. But, in general, the question of homosexuality never emerged as a social problem until I got to college. What I heard in high school was: Why don't those guys behave themselves? Why are they always doing something outlandish? As far as my early life is concerned, there was one other incident. There was one young man who was very highly respected in the community that I can remember as a child hearing Whispering about. But I never could put my finger on what it was that made him, in the eyes ofpeople, different. One ofthe reasons that this was confusing to me was that he was highly respected-he was a member ofthe church, sang in the choir, played the organ, and seemed to be such a responsible, talented, and charming person that I could never get quite what it was that was being whispered about him. I asked my grandmother once, and she said "Oh, well, he's just a little different from other people and I wouldn't pay any attention to it." On one occasion this fellow was visiting our home, and when he was leaving he put his arms around me and kissed me (which had never happened to me with a man before). Later when I was discussing him with my grandmother, I said "You know it's very interesting, but this is the second time that he has hugged me and tried to kiss me." My grandmother simply said, "Well, did you enjoy it?" And I ~""'1"1111 Open Hands 3 An Interview with Bayard Rustin said "No, I felt it very peculiar." And she said, "Well, ifyou don't enjoy it, don't let him do it." That's all she said. And that was the extent of it. . Now it was in college I came to understand that I had a real physical attraction to a young man. This attraction was to a particular young man? Oh yes, very definitely. He lived in California. We were both at Wilberforce College in Ohio. He used to come home with me for the holidays. I had a bedroom of my own, but it had twin beds in it-he slept in his bed and I slept in mine. We never had any physical relationship but a very intense, friendly relationship. At that point, I knew exactly what was going on, but I did not feel then that I could handle such a physical relationship. But I never went through any trauma about coming out because I realized what was going on. I was also strong and secure enough to be able to handle it. But I have always sympathized with people who, for one reason or another, go through the great trauma that I never experienced. Can you say a little more about how you handled your coming out? There was one young man at home who was interested in me when I came back from college. (This is what makes me know that my grandmother knew what was happening.) My grandmother called me into the kitchen one Saturday morning (we always had sort of weekly talks on Saturday morning in the kitchen while we were preparing lunch), and she said, "You know I want to recommend something to you. In selecting your male friends, you should be careful that you associate with people who have as much to lose as you have." And I said, "What do you mean, as much to lose as I have?" She said, "Well, you have a very good reputation, so you should go around with people who have good reputations. You are being educated; you must make friends with people who are being educated. You have certain values, and you must make certain that people you go out with hold those values. Otherwise you could find yourself in very serious trouble. Because very often people who do not have as much to lose as you have can be very careless in befriending you because they are careless in befriending themselves." I think that a family in which the members know and accept one's lifestyle is the most helpful factor for emotional stability. They were aware that I was having an affair with my friend from college, and they obviously approved it. Not that anybody said, "Oh, I think it's a good thing." But they would say, "Friends have invited us over for dinner tonight, and we told them that your friend is here, and they said it's quite all right for you to bring him along." There was never any conflict. And yet there was never any real discussion. A few years later you moved to New York City. The clubs in Harlem in the 1930. and 1940s were known as meccas for gay men and lesbians. Did you interact in that world? Well, Harlem was a totally different world than I had known. When I came to New York, I lived with a sister (really my aunt) who lived on St. Nicholas Avenue, which was at that time the main thoroughfare of Black New York aristocracy-it was called Sugar Hill. That's where the Black doctors, the lawyers, the professionals, and ministers lived. In the Black upper class there were a great number of gay people. So long as they did not publicize their gayness, there was little or no discussion of it. A number ofthe poets, artists, musicians were gay or lesbian. And the clubs paid little attention. In that early period there were few gay clubs because there didn't need to be. The gay clubs came later, with World War II and after. I think that the Black community has been largely willing to accept its gay elements so long as they were not openly gay. It was later when the gay clubs came, and gay men and lesbians wanted the right to come out of the closet, that I think the Black community became quite as intolerant as the white community. Why is that, in your estimation? What caused the resistance to acceptance? Well, I think the community felt that we have, as Blacks, so many problems to put up with, and we have to defend ourselves so vigorously against being labeled as ignorant, irresponsible, shufflers, etc., there's so much prejudice against us, why do we need the gay thing, too? I remember on one occasion somebody said to me, "Goodness gracious! You're a socialist, you're a conscientious objector, you're gay, you're Black, how many jeopardies can you afford?" I found that people in the civil rights movement were perfectly willing to accept me so long as I didn't declare that I was gay. During those years in New York were there any gay or lesbian role models for you? Hall Johnson, leader of the Hall Johnson Choir, was gay and one of the most important Black musicians of his time. He was probably the key role model for me. He was responsible for helping train people like Leontyne Price and all kinds of other opera singers, and was the inspiration for many other musicians. I used to go to his 4 Open Hands An Interview with Bayard Rustin apartment. It was never a hangout for gay men and lesbians; it was a hangout for musicians and artists. And if you were gay or lesbian (and there were many of us) you were there too. As ,ou began working for the Fellowship of Reconciliation, did it seem like ,ou were leading a double life-moving in the artist and musician circles in New York and becoming Involved in the different sphere of human rights activists? It was amongst the Fellowship people that there was hypocrisy-more so-called love and affection and nonviolence toward the human family, but it was there that I found some of the worst attitudes to gays. I experienced this personally after I'd been released from working with the Fellowship when I was arrested in California on what they called a "morals charge." Many of the people in the Fellowship of Reconciliation were absolutely intolerant in their attitudes. When I lost my job there, some of these nonviolent Christians despite their love and affection for humanity were not really able to express very much affection to me. Wherein members of my family (a couple of them had actually fought in the war) were loving, considerate, and accepting. So there are times when people of goodwill may find it difficult to maintain consistency between belief and action. This can be very difficult for some people when faced with a homosexual relationship. Later, in the early '80s, Adam Clayton Powell threatened to expose ,ou, and J. Strom Thurmond did make homosexual relationship with Dr. King. But Martin was so uneasy about it that I decided I did not want Dr. King to have to dismiss me. I had come to the SCLC to help. IfI was going to be a burden I would leave-and I did. However Dr. King was never happy about my leaving. He was deeply tom-although I had left the SCLC, he frequently called me in and asked me to help. While in 1960 he felt real pressure to fire me, in 1963 he agreed that I should organize the March on Washington, of which he was one of the leaders. During those tumultuous times when ,our private life was threatened to be exposed, how did ,ou deal with that? Whom' did ,ou find support from? In June of 1963, Senator Strom Thurmond stood in the Congress and denounced the March on Washington because I was organizing it. He called me a communist, a sexual pervert, a draft dodger, etc. The next day Mr. A Phillip Randolph called all the Black leaders and said, "I want to answer Strom Thurmond's attack. But I think we ought not to get involved in a big discussion of homosexuality or communism or draft dodging. What I want to do, with the approval of all the Black leaders, is to issue a statement which says: 'We, the Black leaders ofthe civil rights movements and the leaders of the trade union movement and the leaders of the Jewish, Protestant, and Catholic church which are organizing this march have absolute confidence in Bayard Rustin's ability, his integrity, and his commitment to nonviolence as the best way to bring about social change. He will continue to organize the March with our full and undivided support.' " He said, "Ifany ofyou are called, I do not want any accusations against ,ou. Did ,ou experience man, discussion beyond that-Is he a homosexual? Has he other incidents like these? been arrested? We simply say we have complete confidence in him and his integrity." And that's exactly what Yes, for example, Martin Luther King, with whom I happened. worked very closely, became very distressed when a Someone came to Mr. Randolph once and said, "Do number of the ministers working for him wanted him to you know that Bayard Rustin is a homosexual? Do you dismiss me from his staff because of my homosexuality. know he has been arrested in California? I don't know Martin set up a committee to discover what he should do. how you could have anyone who is a homosexual working They said that, despite the fact that I had contributed for you." Mr. Randolph said, "Well, well, if Bayard, a tremendously to the organization (I drew up the plans for homosexual, is that talented-and I know the work he the creation of the Southern Christian Leadership does for me-maybe I should be looking for somebody Conference and did most of the planning and fundraising else homosexual who could be so useful." Mr. Randolph in the early days), they thought that I should separate was such a completely honest person who wanted myself from Dr. King. everyone else also to be honest. Had anyone said to him, "Mr. Randolph, do you think I should openly admit that I am homosexual?," his attitude, I am sure, would have When was this, the late 19508? been, "Although such an admission may cause you problems, you will be happier in the long run." Because This was about 1960 actually. This was the time when his idea was that you have to be what you are. Powell threatened to expose my so-called homosexual relationship with Dr. King. There, of course, was no Open Hands 5 An Interview with Bayard Rustin You were involved in many civil rights groups in the '40s, '50s, '80s, '70s. Did any of them at least begin to internally think about lesbian/gay rights? After my arrest (in California in '53), 1 tried to get the Black community to face up to the fact that one of the reasons that some homosexuals went to places where they might well be arrested was that they were not welcome elsewhere. 1 wanted to get people to change their attitudes, but they always made it personal. They would say, "Well, now, Bayard, we understand-we know who you are and we know what you are, but you're really different." And I'd say, "I don't want to hear that. 1 want you to change your attitudes." But there was little action, and even now it's very difficult to get the Black community doing anything constructive about AIDS because it is thought of as a "gay" problem." LOOking back over your whole life, in what ways did your being a gay man affect the person that you are, the person you have been? Oh, 1 think it has made a great difference. When one is attacked for being gay, it sensitizes you to a greater understanding and sympathy for others who face bigotry, and one realizes the damage that being misunderstood can do to people. It's quite all right when people blast my politics. That's their obligation. But to attack anyone because he's Jewish, Black, a homosexual, a woman, or any other reason over which that person has no control is quite terrible. But making my peace and adjusting to being attacked has helped me to grow. It's given me a certain sense of obligation to other people, and it's given me a maturity as well as a sense of humor. You were asking about role models earlier-I think one of the best, most helpful, Black men in the '20s and '30s and '4Os was a professor at Howard University whose name was Alain Locke. 1 got to know Alain Locke very well. He was gay and held open house for the literati and for young people like young Langston Hughes and Richard Wright. 1 suspect that he was probably more of a male role model for me than anyone else. He never felt it necessary to discuss his gayness. He was always a friend to those who were aspiring to be writers. Therefore, he universalized his affection to people. And he carried himself in such a way that the most people could say about him was that they suspected he was gay, not that he was mean or that he was in any way unkind. So 1 find that it's very important for members of a minority group to develop an inner security. For in that way we become fearless and very decent human beings. 1 shall never forget once at a meeting, a chap from the Fellowship of Reconciliation accused me ofimpairing the morals of minors and stated that the organization should not permit me to associate with all the youngsters in the organization. A young man stood up at this meeting and said something which was so amazing 1 have never forgotten about it. He said, "I want this group to know that 1 am now 22, and 1 went to bed with Bayard Rustin last year. And it was a culmination of five years of the most profound and deep friendship and love that 1 have ever known. And 1am not homosexual, and 1 will marry, and 1 promise you now, if my first child is a boy, I'm going to name him Bayard. 1 learned so many important and good things from him. That's why 1 want my firstborn named Bayard." Now that took a tremendous amount of nerve on his part. Four years later he named his firstborn Bayard. If you had to do it all over, H you had to live IHe knowing what you know now, would you want to be gay? 1 think, if 1 had a choice, 1 would probably elect not to be gay. Because 1 think that 1 might be able to do more to fight against the prejudice to gays if1 weren't gay, because some people say I'm simply trying to defend myself. But that's the only reason. 1 want to get rid of all kinds of prejudices. And, quite frankly, one ofthe prejudices which 1 find most difficult is the prejudice that some Black homosexuals have to white homosexuals, the prejudice that Oriental homosexuals have to everybody but Oriental homosexuals, and certainly the tremendous amount of prejudice that some white gay men and lesbians have to Blacks. And the reason this is sad to me is not that 1 expect homosexuals to be any different basically than any other human being, but it is sad because 1 do not believe that they know that it is not prejudice to anyone group that is the problem, it is prejudice itself that is the problem. That brings me to a very important point-people who do not fight against all kinds of prejudice are doing three terrible things. They are, first of all, perpetuating harm to others. Secondly, they are denying their own selves because every heterosexual is a part of homosexuality and every homosexual is part ofthis so-called straight world. If 1harm any human being by my bigotry, 1 am, at the same time, harming myself because I'm a part of that person. And, finally, every indifference to prejudice is suicide because, if 1 don't fight all bigotry, bigotry itself will be strengthened and, sooner or later, it will turn on me. 1 think that one ofthe things we have to be very careful ofin the gay and lesbian community is that we do not under any circumstances permit ourselves to hold on to any indifference to the suffering of any other human being. The homosexuals who did not fight Hitler's prejudice to the Jews finally got it. Now they may have gotten it anyhow. But when the Gestapo came up the stairs after them, they would have died knowing that they were better human beings ifonly they had fought facism and resisted when the Jews were being murdered. 6 Open Hands An Interview with Bayard Rustin Are you hopeful for the human race? Do you think prejudice will be overcome? Do you think ifs improved during your lifetime? Oh, I think, it's improved some places; it's gotten worse in others. But I have learned a very significant lesson from the Jewish prophets. If one really follows the commandments of these prophets, the question of hopeful or nonhopeful may become secondary or unimportant. Because these prophets taught that God does not require us to achieve any of the good tasks that humanity must pursue. What God requires ofus is that we not stop trying. And, therefore, I do not expect that we can do anything more than reduce prejudice to an irreducible minimum. We have the responsibility to try to improve economic and social conditions which I believe may well reduce human problems. As long as there's this much unemployment amongst Blacks and poor Hispanics and poor whites, they will prey on each other. Secondly, we can try to deal with problems ofinjustice by setting up a legal structure which outlaws them and causes people to be punished if they violate them. There's a third way, and this is what I call the way of reconciliation. Ifyou can get enough law and you can get an economic structure, then you can get people to live together in harmony, to go to school together, and they will cooperate in the work force. Then there is a deep learning process in which new stimuli will create new responses. Now these are three of the ways in which I believe we can try to reduce prejudice. I want to say a word while fm on this, about the uniqueness of the gay and lesbian community today. The gay community now becomes the most important element when it comes to answering the question that you have raised about hope. Because the gay community today has taken over where the Black community left offin '68 or '69. In those days Black people were the barometer of social change; Black people were the litmus paper of social change. At that time if a person was prepared to accept Blacks then it followed that that person was prepared to look at Jews, Catholics, and other persons. Today gay men and lesbians have taken over that social role. Because theirs is now the central problem and, if you are to go to the bottom line, if people cannot accept gay men and lesbians, they may not be able to accept anybody who is different. That is what makes the homosexual central to how much progress we can make in human rights. That means there must be among gay men and lesbians themselves tremendous political activity. And that means now that we have an additional good reason for coming out of the closet. We cannot really respect ourselves unless we're willing to state quite honestly who we are. Beyond this there's now another reason why we must come out of the closet, and that is to help carry on the real political struggle for acceptance. Because if you do not fight for yourself in a very vigorous way, you cannot expect anybody to join in a fight with you. Do you have any observations, looking historically, at the Black civil rights movement and the lesbian/ gay civil rights movement-where have there been similarities; where have there been differences? Well, I think the moral question is similar. But after you get beyond that question, I think there are not many similarities. The gay and lesbian community is not a community which looks anyone way; it is not a community which behaves in anyone way. Wherein Blacks all look Black (which is not true, but people think so) and they have certain things you can point to-they were once slaves, they were once uneducated-gay men and lesbians tend to belong to a more educated, collegetrained group. Gay men and lesbians are not all in that group, by any means, but the visible ones are. The prejudice to gay men and lesbians is much deeper. Those who fight against gay men and lesbians carry a propaganda which is designed to strike deeply at the most fundamental concerns of our society. Antigay/lesbian proponents will argue that humanity must have the family and gay men and lesbians are anti-family. The society advances only as there are children. Gay men and lesbians will not produce children. The society will only exist as long as there is a high standard ofmoral behavior. Gay men particularly are pictured as running around having sex with everybody in sight and not concerned with anything other than their own immediate pleasure and satisfaction. Now you and I know that much ofthat is decidedly untrue. But gay men and lesbians are looked on as being an unstable element when what you need in the society is stability. As I said this propaganda has been carefully designed. Beyond all this, the bigots argue that segments ofboth the Old and the New Testament have denounced homosexuality as an abomination. Ifone goes through the scriptures and picks out little pieces of this and that, it's possible to distort. You know, those who believe you shouldn't have anything to drink find the little place in the Bible that justifies that attitude. Those who want to drink will quote St. Paul and say "A little wine is good for thy stomach's sake." People will pick out what they want rather than seeing the scriptures as a growth in spiritual insight. The people who want to carry on racial prejudice will no longer talk about this as the way that God wants it. But people will still tell you that homosexuality is ungodly and destructive. That's what I mean when I say that gay men and lesbians have now become the barometer and the litmus paper of human rights attitudes and social change. 0 Open Hands 7 - - I Querido Popi, Howselective memories can be! Why is it that we remember some moments and forget others? It fascinates me that at times we seem to be so close and then other times one or both of us remain silent. Was our silence due to our fear of the possibility of rejection and loss? Or could it be that we are so proud that we can't admit our need to be needed? I often wondered what your response would be to me if I openly confronted you with my lesbianism. Remember that anonymous letter you and Momi received concerning my "homosexual friends" and my "special Black woman friend" of whom you needed to be watchful? You didn't want me to be hurt by someone wanting to destroy my reputation. Your initial response was to protect me from unfounded lies and jealousy, so you told Momi to disregard the perversity contained within the note and never to mention it to me. Did you even think that such sexuality existed between women, or did you think that "being queer" was restricted to men? My fear of being rejected has been so great I've not been able to take the chance of what your answers might be. This same fear has kept me away from seeking out others of our heritage. You have always been my tangible connection to that heritage. You are, in every part of your being, Cuban. I've learned my love of music from you as we danced together. My spirit and passion are in large measure a reflection of how you have presented yourself in the world. Your independence and pride, strength and passion, tender-heartedness and fierce protectiveness of your family are all characteristics that I admire and emulate. Your desire to protect me was not so restricting as to constrain my desire to be independent and strong. You stressed education not boyfriends, success rather than silliness, and above all, a sense of charity to those less fortunate than myself. What I can't seem to understand is that for all the freedom you gave me to discover myself, you refused to give me your language and your culture. I didn't know for many years what other Latinas were like or even that I was one. If it hadn't been for my Angla mother I would not have been filled with the stories of life in Cuba. Momi taught me what your lives had been like when you were in your homeland and she in a foreign land. Momi fed me mondongo and potaje, black beans and rice that always contained the proper sofrito. She engendered in me a great love for a country which wasn't even her own, so much love that my dream for years was to visit the place of your birth to see for myself where I came from. I've always felt jealous of my brother John and my 8 Open Hands sister Susan because they grew up in both worlds. They knew what it meant to be Cuban and North American from lived experience and yet now they seem to have opted for their whiteness and not their color. You thought of yourself as white and differentiated from Black. But in the United States you are not white, you are Latino, a person of color. This may be a new concept to you, one that you might want to reject. But it reflects the alienation that you have always felt being in this country. You never quite fit in with the Anglo men in your office and so your friends were other Latins. But you only associated with them outside our home. I wonder if this was because you wanted me to feel at home in this country. You didn't want me to experience the same feelings of isolation that you felt. Perhaps you noticed our similarities. Perhaps you saw my passion and wanted to spare me from the pain that you had felt for years. Though your intentions were admirable, I soon discovered that I was very different from my surrounding peers. What a twist of fate! You didn't want me to learn Spanish first because you didn't want me to be different from the other American girls. But you didn't realize that I already was a stranger in a strange land. I would never be a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant, tall, thin and blond, genteel, reserved, and able to fit in with the "upper crust" society. I look more like a Gauguin nude than a California girl. I'm loud and boisterous and exude sexuality. I sing and dance in public places even when there is no music. Perhaps this is what you saw and it made you afraid of me. T here are places in my life now where I feel that I belong after so many years of feeling like an outsider, feeling as if something were wrong with me. Discovering my lesbianism opened my life to me. It gave me my first community of similar-minded people. I "came out" in the church, the Riverside Church on the upper west side of Manhattan, to be exact, in front of 2000 people. I had just begun to attend both the church and Maranatha, Riversiders for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, and had been asked by the leadership if I would give the "Minute for Mission," an annual statement by which Maranatha made its presence and mission known to the whole church. When I got up before all those people, I thought my voice would squeak out, but I appeared courageous and self-confident even though I was trembling. In that moment I felt true to myself. I was not performing a role or living someone else's life. I was acknowledging who I was before God and God's assembly. The moment was so powerful. I knew that God was with me, and that I was her ------ child, her voice speaking out for justice and love. A few years ago I was asked to be the spokesperson for the Massachusetts chapter of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. No -other lesbian or gay man was willing to be "out" in front of the Massachusetts Conference of the United Church of Christ. When it was time for me to speak on behalf of the resolution calling on congregations to declare themselves "open and affirming" to lesbian/gay and bisexual persons in the life of the church, I got up before the 700 people bringing my few notes. I began to talk of the pain of isolation that no one from Massachusetts was willing to face the audience so they asked me, a New Yorker. I asked that, if we truly claimed to identify with Christ, we needed to see that he associated with those whom his society thought were the outcasts and the sinners. He loved them as I knew that I was loved by Christ today. When I finished, some complained because they thought I had been angry. One woman even defended my anger saying that I had a right to be angry after what the church had done to lesbian and gay people in the name of Christianity. But I had been misunderstood. I was not angry, I was passionate in my plea for conversion to the way of Christ. I was again realizing that I was different. Even my sisters and brothers in the Coalition thought I had been angry. People felt threatened by my passion so they called it anger. I began to see that even in the midst of this community I was an outsider. I eventually realized that this was because I was a Latina. I had a different way of being in the world than the Anglos/as. I felt tokenized. They wanted my passion and my courage because they couldn't do it, but they didn't want me to be too outrageous. After this experience it has taken me some time to be courageous enough to seek out a community of Latinos/as in the church. The overwhelming fear was that I would be rejected. But the fear wasn't just because of my lesbianism. Would I be accused of being a false Latina? I am half Angla, from Momi's side; my lover is an Angla. I don't speak perfect Spanish. I attend one of the most elite educational institutions in the country-Harvard Divinity School. And my own class history was a combination of white middle class and Cuban wealthy class. I felt that I couldn't bear the rejection of the community that I knew to be my own, so I didn't chance it for a long time. The journey toward my heritage began when I went to Nicaragua before I started seminary. I was clearly a North American and so a foreigner, but when I would tell Nicaraguans that my father was Cuban their attitudes changed. I was no longer completely an outsider but a cousin. One man said in reply to my comment about my heritage, "So then you are Cuban!" This was a new realization for me. I came back from that trip changed. For the first time in my life I had spent significant time with other Hispanic people outside my family. Finally it came time for my life-long dream to be realized. I received the opportunity to go to Cuba with other Cubans on the Antonio Maceo Brigade.· I was filled with excitement and yet disbelief that this was happening to me. But at the same time it was so painful. I was terrified that I wouldn't fit in. I was in emotional turmoil for the entire three weeks I was in Cuba. I cried in private and I danced and laughed and worked and drank lots of rum in public. Just walking the streets of Havana, I would be overcome with emotion. I was home for the first time and yet it wasn't my home. I was with my people but they weren't my people. I loved what I saw of the revolution, the progress in education, healthcare, housing, and living conditions, but I knew that as a lesbian I wasn't included. I'll never forget what happened when I came back to the U.S. When I called you and Momi, you spoke to me in Spanish for the first time ever. You initiated the conversation in your native tongue. After an entire lifetime of wanting you to let me in, you finally did. Somehow you knew that I loved Cuba as much as you did. The next Christmas when I brought my slides for the whole family to see, I watched you cry when I sang the Cuban national anthem. I knew then that I belonged to you and your people. I was Cuban too. I have now been able to accept myself enough to risk the rejection and/or acceptance of other Latin people in the church. I have been warmly welcomed as a sister. Many know that I am a lesbian. Some are challenged by it; some are fearful; some are accepting; but all of them see my commitment to other Latinos/as. My commitment to justice will not be restricted to activism for only one group of oppressed people. I will be all of who I am and live out of that wholeness. Popi, this has been such a difficult letter to write. These questions that I have asked you, the secrets that I have revealed will never be heard by you. I can only believe that in God's company you have the benefit of deep vision to see the truth about my life. Your passing from this life last October has opened me up to the realization that I cannot depend on you for my connection to my heritage. I must go forward courageously loving and living as only I know how. I am a lesbian Latina and I love myself as I know God loves me. Con amor y carino, tu hija, Margarita *The Antonio Maceo Brigade is a group ofprogressive CubanAmericans committed to normalizing relations between the United States and Cuba. Margarita Suarez is a member ofthe United ChuJ"ch ofChrist, completing a Master ofDivinity degree at Harvard Divinity School and pursuing ordination. She is a member ofthe Amanecidq Collective-authors ofRevolutionary Forgiveness: Feminist Perspectives on Nicaragua. Open Hands 9 BELOVED WOMEN It is not known if those who warred and hunted on the plains chanted and hexed in the hills divined and healed in the mountains gazed and walked beneath the seas were Lesbians It is never known if any woman was a Lesbian so who can say that she who shivering drank warm blood beneath wind-blown moons slept tight to a beloved of shininghair curled as a smile within crescent arms followed her track deep into secret woods dreamed other dreams and who would record these things perhaps all women are Lesbian though many try to turn knotted sinew and stubby cheek into that ancient almostremembered scene perhaps all know the first beloved so well they can shape the power to reclaim her The portents in the skies-the moons forever growing and falling away, the suns concentric orbits daily crossing themselves like a nunwho's to say that these are signs of what has always been? And perhaps the portents are better left written only in the stars, etched on cave-walls, rosewindows, the perfect naves of brooding cathedrals. Perhaps all they signify is best left unsaid. Nobody knows whether those women were Lesbians. Nobody can say what such an event might mean. -Paula Gunn Allen "Beloved Women" Copyright 1979 by Paula Gunn Allen. First published in Conditions 7 1981. Reprinted with permission. n e beginning were tlie people, the spirits, t e gods; \ Ith four-legged, the two-leggeds, the win~l os, the crawlers, the burrowers, the plants, the trees, t,e rocks. There were the moon, the Un, the earth, the waters of earth and sky. There wer the stars, the thunde s, the mountains, the plains, the nw~as and the hills. Til re was the Mystery. There were th G randmothers, the Mothers, the cla s, the people. At t ~ end of the 15th 9f' tury, Anglo-European time, the old world that the tribes, Nations, and Confederacie d in began to be tom apart. At first the tear see~ small enough, and for various reasons we did not grasp the enormity of the threat; indeed, many tribes did not know there was a threat for another 200 to 300 years. The wars of conquest that began with the landing of Christopher Columbus on an isolated little island on the edge of the southeastern sea gained momentum until every tribe and every aspect of traditional life was swept up in it; during the centuries of those wars everything in our lives was affected and much was changed, even the earth, the waters, and the sky. We went down under wave after wave of settlement, each preceded, accompanied by, and followed by military engagements that were more often massacres of our people than declared wars. These wars, taken together, constitute the longest undeclared war neo-Americans have fought, and no end is in sight. It is still being fought on reservations, in urban communities, along Indian-white frontiers (which occur wherever Indian and non-Indian interface); in Mexico and in Central America-Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Costa Rica; in South America -Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Venezuela, Peru. In some areas we have been all but extinguished, as in the islands of the Caribbean, Canada, and the United States; in others we continue to survive in large numbers, though usually characterized as peasants and disguised as Hispanics by the Anglo-European/Hispanic media, scholars, officials, and political activists. Still we endure, and many of our old values, lifeways, and philosophies endure with us, for they, like us, are inextricably linked to the land, the sky, the waters, and the spirits of this Turtle Island, this EarthSurface place, that the whites call "the New World." During the 500 years ofAnglo-European colonization, the tribes have seen a progressive shift from womancentered, egalitarian, ritual-based social systems to secularized structures closely imitative of the European patriarchal system. During this time women (including lesbians) and gay men-along with traditional medicine people, holy people, shamans, and ritual leaders-have suffered severe loss of status, power, and leadership. That these groups have suffered concurrent degradation is not coincidental; the woman-based, woman-centered traditions of many precontact tribes were tightly bound to ritual, and ritual was based on spiritual understandings rather than on economic or political ones .... Virtually all ! customary sexual customs among the tribes have been changed-including marital, premarital, homosexual, and ritual sexual practices, along with childhood and I adult indulgence in open sexuality, common in many ;\ tribes. \ Colonization has meant the loss not only of language llnd the power of self-government but also of ritual status of all women and those males labeled "deviant" by the Jwhite Christian colonizers. The usual, generally genderbased divisions of labor ... have been altered, prohibited, or forced underground, from whence they have only recently begun to reemerge as the tribes find themselves engaged in a return to more traditional ways of life. In considering gender-based roles, we must remember that while the roles themselves were flXed in most archaic American cultures, with divisions of "women's work" and "men's work," the individuals fit into these roles on the basis of proclivity, inclination, and temperament. Thus men who in contemporary European and American societies are designated gay or homosexual were genderdesignated among many tribes as "women" in terms of their roles; women who in contemporary societies are designated as lesbians (actually "dykes" is more accuratel) were designated as men in tribal cultures ... Recent scholarly work reveals the universal or nearly universal presence of homosexuality and lesbianism among tribal peoples, the special respect and honor often accorded gay men and women, and the alteration in that status as a result of colonization of the continent by Anglo-Europeans. These studies demonstrate the process by which external conquest and colonization become internalized among the colonized with vivid clarity. Homophobia, which was rare (perhaps even absent entirely) among tribal peoples in the Americas, has steadily grown among them as they have traded traditional tribal values for Christian industrial ones ... Some American Indians, usually the most traditional, continue to accord high respect to homosexuals, even to the present day. Of these, many, perhaps most, will not discuss the subject with non-Indians because they are unwilling to have institutions or practices that they value subjected to ridicule or contempt. They also may feel a strong need to protect the homosexuals and lesbians among them and the tribe as a whole from further lifethreatening assaults which for too long have been directed against them. Other Indians more acculturated and highly Christianized, treat the presence of lesbianism or homosexuality among them with fear and loathing. They do not confine that loathing to homosexuality but direct it to (continued) Editor's Note: Bold type indicates editorial additions to ease transitions. while ellipses denote material deleted from the original. 1,A "dyke" can be .iewed as one who bonds with women to further some Spirit and supernatural directive and a lesbian as a woman who is emotionally and physically intimate with other women. (The two groups are not mutually exclusive.) Open Hands 11 other aspects oftribal ceremonial life, particularly when it has to do with sexuality. But the pattern of colonized psychology and social valuation among Indian people may be being reversed. Recently, Russell Means of the American Indian Movement . .. said, in defense of homosexuals and their anciently valued place among the people: "The Indian looked upon these unique individuals as something special the Great Mystery created to teach us. These people had something special to tell us." And the Oglala Sioux holy man John (Fire) Lame Deer said, "To us a man is what nature, or his dreams, make him. We accept him for what he wants to be. That's up to him. . .. There are good men among the winktes [the Lakota word for gay men] and they have been given certain powers." It is significant, I think, that those who are homophobic are also very likely to be misogynist. Indeed, the latter often masquerade as the former. The colonizers' treatment of gays is analogous to their treatment of healers, holy people, dreamers, and other traditional leaders, foremost among whom have traditionally been the women-the matrons, clan mothers, dreamers, and makers of ritual and tribal life in the western hemisphere. Many people believe that Indian men have suffered more damage to their traditional status than have Indian women, but I think that belief is more a reflection of colonial attitudes toward the primacy of male experience than of historical fact. While women still play the traditional role of housekeeper, childbearer, and nurturer, they no longer enjoy the unquestioned positions ofpower, respect, and decision making on local and international levels that were not so long ago their accustomed functions. Only in some tribes do they still enjoy the medicine or shamanistic power they earlier possessed. No longer, except in backwoods pockets of resistance, do they speak with the power and authority of inviolable law.... In traditional American Indian cultures, power ... is not perceived as political or economic, though status and material possessions can and often do derive from it. Power is conceived of as being supernatural and paranormal. It is a matter of spirit involvement and destiny. Women's power comes automatically, by virtue of her femaleness, her natural and necessary fecundity, and her personal acquaintance with blood. The tribal ... dyke was likely to have been a medicine woman in a special sense . ... The Lakota have a word for some of these women, koskalaka, which is translated as "young man" or "woman who doesn't want to marry," in our terms, "dyke." These women are said to be the daughters (the followers/practitioners) ofa Spirit/Divinity who links two women together making them one in Her power. They do a dance in which a rope is twined between them and coiled to form a "rope baby." The exact purpose or result of this dance is not mentioned, but its significance is clear. In a culture that values children and women because they bear them, two women who don't want to marry (a man) become united by the creation of a rope baby. That is, the rope baby signifies the potency of their union in terms that are comprehensible to their society, which therefore legitimizes it. It is clear that among traditional Lakota the koskalaka are perceived as powerful, as are their presumed male counterparts, the winkte. But their power does not constitute the right "to determine [their] own and others' actions."2 Rather, it consists of the ability to manipulate physical and nonphysical reality toward certain ends. ... The power referred to here is magical, mysterious, and sacred. That does not mean that its possessors are to be regarded as a priestly pious people, for this is hardly the case. But it does mean that those who possess "medicine power," women and men, are to be treated with a certain cautious respect. ... Not so long ago, the American Indians were clearly aware ofthe power that women possessed. Even now there are those among traditionalists who know the medicine power ofwomen. This is why a clear understanding ofthe supernatural forces and their potential in our lives is necessary. More than an interesting tour through primitive exotica is to be gained. Before we worry about collecting more material from aborigines, before we join forces with those who are in a position to destroy us, and before we decide ... that belief in ancient matriarchal civilization is an irrational concept born ofconjecture and wish, let us adjust our perspective to match that of our foresisters. Then, when we search the memories and lore of tribal peoples, we might be able to see what eons and all kinds of institutions have conspired to hide from our eyes. The evidence is all around us. It remains for us to discover what it means. 0 lAs it is accurately put by Jane Fishburne Collier in "Women in Politics, " in Michelle Zimbalist Rosalda and Louise Lamphere, eds., Woman, Culture, and Society (Stanford, Calif.: Stanford University Press, 1974), p. 70. From The Sacred Hoop by Paula Gunn Allen. Copyright 1986 by Paula Gunn Allen. Reprinted by permission of Beacon Press. I Paula Gunn Allen, a Laguna Pueblo/Sioux Indian, is the author offive books of poetry, including Shadow Country, and the novel The Woman Who Owned the Shadows. She teaches Native American studies at the University ofCalifornia, Berkeley. 12 Open Hands FOR EACH OF YOU Be who you are and will be learn to cherish that boisterous Black Angel that drives you up one day and down another protecting the place where your power rises running like hot blood from the same source as your pain When you are hungry learn to eat whatever sustains you until morning but do not be misled by details simply because you live them. Do not let your head deny your hands any memory of what passes through them nor youreyes nor your heart everything can be used except what is wasteful (you will need to remember this when you are accused of destruction). Even when they are dangerous examine the heart of those machines which you hate before you discard them but do not mourn the lack of their power lest you be condemned to relive them. If you do not learn to hate you will never be lonely enough to love easily nor will you always be brave although it does not grow any easier Do not pretend to convenient beliefs even when they are righteous you will never be able to defend your city while shouting Remember our sun is not the most noteworthy star only the nearest Respect whatever pain you bring back from your dreaming but do not look for new gods in the sea nor in any part of a rainbow Each time you love love as deeply as if it were forever only nothing is eternal. Speak proudly to your children where ever you may find them tell them you are the offspring of slaves and your mother was a princess in darkness. -Audre Lorde Reprinted from Chosen Poems: O ld and New by Audre Lourde. Copyright 1963,1976,1974, 1973, 1970, 1966 by Audre Lorde. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, W.W. Norton and Company, Inc. Open Hands 13 Recently, Don, a friend and colleague of mine, and I were asked to train a group of students from a prestigious East Coast university in methods of facilitating workshops on racism, sexism, and homophobia. Delighted to do anything which might further the involvement of individuals in the destruction of these problems, Don and I excitedly accepted the task and made plans for a productive weekend. On probably the worst winter weekend of the season, we drove to meet the students at a farm in upstate New York, where we set about passing on our skills to a new generation of leaders and, hopefully, activists. Twenty-four students took part in the weekend retreat. Thirteen of them were white; eleven were persons ofcolor. Five were openly gay or lesbian. Don is an Asian gay man; I am a Black lesbian. Don considers himself an agnostic; I am a Christian minister. In spite ofour differences, we are activists and good friends and both committed to the enlightenment and empowerment of all persons effected by oppression. The weekend was inspiring and challenging from the start. The students were juniors and seniors with well developed skills in critical analyses and information processing. They had finely tuned, questioning, searching minds. Some were from affiuent families, some were not; all were reaching for middle class dreams. The weekend was intense for all of us. The students requested that we focus more on racism since ongoing workshops on campus dealt with homophobia and sexism. With this in mind, we reserved only the last threehour block oftime for dealing with homophobia. This was a mistake. The method we used requires a great deal of participation and critical looking at one's values. On the issue of homophobia, we discovered that silence had been wrongly interpreted as having dealt with the issue. The workshop was also designed to break through preestablished defenses and encourage participants to say what they really think and feel by creating a safe and trustfilled space. This time, however, when the silence was broken my heart was broken, shattered by the bitter truths of how the Black religious communities have participated in the continued oppression of gay men and lesbians. There were six Black women in the group, one ofwhom was a lesbian. There were no Black men. Four of the five who were not lesbians proved to be the most homophobic ofthe entire group oftwenty-four. They were also the most religious. The basis of their arguments against lesbianism and homosexuality was that sex between persons of the same sex was unnatural, immoral, and just plain wrong in the eyes of God. God said for humankind to replenish the earth and there was only one way to do that. Although pressed for time, I hurriedly pointed out to them how the Bible has been used throughout the history of Blacks to oppress us. I spoke in that down-home faith language familiar to their tradition about the oneness of God's spirit and about God's unconditional love and acceptance. They continued to say, "'It's unnatural." I talked about the Black church's commitment to human rights and about love being one of those rights. Still they replied, "It's unnatural." I spoke of the mandate of the Gospel that we work for justice and equality. "It's still unnatural," was the response. Desperate, I talked about how for generations slavery was considered "natural" for Black people. The cries continued, the voices unchanged. The Black lesbian seated very close to me on the floor hung her head and said nothing. I smelled her fear. I felt the heat of her young soul melting and heard the sounds ofchains fastening around her dreams, locked in place by Black hands. Voices screamed loudly in my head, "Woe to those who come out ofthe tomb and roll the stone back on 14 Open Hands those left in the grave; their salvation shall be deemed highly questionable until the end of time!" Hallelujah! These women, sadly, are reflective of too many Black Christians in this country. Although the Black church has been in the forefront of all progressive changes in civil rights since the days of slavery, it has not been consistent in regards to the human rights of gay men and lesbians. Rather, it has been silent or abusive. And either response has helped to further the oppression of lesbians and gay men. I firmly believe that the good health of the Black community depends upon its healthy response in support of the human rights of all peoples including lesbians and gay men. To do less is to allow the untreated wounds ofour brokenness to decay and thus destroy the entire body. To understand this, one has only to look at the places where brokenness lives in the Black lesbian and gay communities and ask, "Who is working at healing it, and who should be given the call of the Gospel and the oneness of the body of Christ?" Black gay men and lesbians face a dual experience of oppression. They encounter racism almost from birth, and homophobia from the moment they claim their sexualities. As they grow and move among the lesbian and gay communities seeking companionship and relationships, they risk encountering racism from within those very communities to which they have fled. Where do they go for pastoral counseling, for guidance in developing moral behavior and healthy relationships, for affirmation of their relationships, for comfort when relationships fail? Where do they go for help in diffusing the anger and hurt of the racism within the gay and lesbian communities? Who heals the broken painful wounds caused by familial rejection when their sexuality is discovered? Certainly not the Black religious community. Who should be involved in this healing and comforting based on the history of Black people and on the Gospel? As I think back on that workshop and remember the attitudes expressed, as I look at other instances of brokenness that weaken the Black community, I continue to ask, "Who will be there for us?" Consider drug and alcohol abuse. These life-destroying abuses are allowed to flourish by an uncaring system, a system so insensitive to the needs of Black people that it blames those who are victimized. For many gay men and lesbians, drugs and alcohol are their only means of coping with the pressures of their lifestyles, the only way to numb the pain. Who walks among them witnessing to another way of hope? Who gives assurance of God's sustaining grace, a grace more soothing than any other substance known to humankind? Consider the brokenness of AIDS, terrifying every segment of our society. By labeling AIDS a gay problem, the homophobia of the Black comunity makes all of us a people living at risk. Why are not Black religious leaders preaching vehemently throughout the land the whole truth about the disease? Why don't Sunday worshipers as they sit in their pews hear that 41% of all AIDS cases are people ofcolor, or 59% ofall children with AIDS are Black children, or 52% of all women with AIDS are Black women, or that of the men being inducted into the Armed Services, Black men are testing positive 4 to 1. To whom do these people tum to hold them and pray for them when they're on their deathbeds? Who preaches their funerals? Who will be there to wipe the sweat from their brow when they are too weak from coughing to lift an arm? How many Black churches send representatives from the nurse's guild, the deacon board, or the hospitality committee to the homes of persons with AIDS, gay/ lesbian or not? How many Black religious persons have screamed, instead, that AIDS is a punishment from God to gay men and lesbians? Do these same people scream that sickle cell anemia is God's punishment to the Black race? The issues Black lesbians and gay men face without help and needed support ofthe Black religous communities are many. The threat of violence is ever present. Quality health care is absent. Homelessness is increasing in the Black gay and lesbian communities, and they face both racial and sexual discrimination in existing shelter systems and housing programs. Discrimination in employment and child custody, hunger and loneliness are painful realities. Every lesbian or gay man engages in a continuing battle for self-esteem throughout her or his life. Who will set these captives free? Nevertheless, we have survived, often in spite of the Black religious communities. I fear, however, that the credibility of these communities will not survive if their silence and rejection ofgay men and lesbians continues. I fear that one day those who call themselves Christian but continue to participate in our oppression will look for God and God will be busy parting the Red Seas of our lives for our liberation. When it comes to lesbian and gay needs and issues, too many in the Black religious communities have opted to march in Pharoah's army. And, we all know what happened to Pharoah's army ... I often think about the women at that weekend training retreat. I pray that something shifted in their thinking or that they heard something that will at least cause them to question their hard opinions. I pray for them and for the rest of the Black religious communities. As I pray I yearn for us to somehow love one another through these times. Regardless, my faith in God's love for and acceptance of me and my lesbian sisters and gay brothers is unyielding. Each day that I live I know without a doubt "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love ofGod in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) 0 I Rene McCoy is a minister in the Universal Fellowship ofMetropolitan Community Churches (MCC) and is founder and past pastor of the Harlem MCC. She is currently working with homeless women in New York City. Open Hands 15 DISCHARGE USN '63 To the Brothers of the "African Queens," the USS F.D. Roosevelt eVA-42, and the USS Shangri La eVA-3B, 1961 to 1963, but especially to jimmy who tried to give me love and on my discharge gave me a long hard hug and told me "Man this is forever which is not long enough. " Four years of loving you, You Black masculine multitude, You chocolate sailors infinite and numberless. Long have we come and gone, And being victims Of many an unexpected reunion, Have made drunken jubilation In the far corners of this earth; Have made love, And then again Bonded to suffer separation. But here it is now, My last farewell. For uncelebrated and without ceremony, I'll soon be gone, Leaving you who are well and long loved, Whose simple presence made the barren vast seas, And distant lonely unfamiliar shores, A home. Lovers should never be separated As long as love lasts, But it is my time to move on in life, To make these experiences, Our things of the past. But 0' what a real and live part of me I am leaving behind, That on departing, I know Every moment of true happiness I may ever find, Will be a tender moment, Somewhat akin To being together with you all again. -Oye Apeji Ajanaku Excerpted from In the Life: A Black Gay Anthology Edited by Joseph Beam (Alyson Publications, 40 Plympton St, Boston, Massachusetts 02116) POEM for F.F. I loved my friend. He went away from me. There's nothing more to say. The poem ends, Soft as it began,I loved my friend. -Langston Hughes FREEDOM Freedom will not come Today, this year Nor ever Through compromise and fear. I have as much right As the other fellow has To stand On my two feet And own the land. I tire so of hearing people say, Let things take their course. Tomorrow is another day. I do not need my freedom when I'm dead. I cannot live on tomorrow's bread. Freedom Is a strong seed Planted In a great need. I live here, too. I want freedom Just as you. -Langston Hughes "Freedom" from The Panther and the Lash by langston Hughes. Copyright c 1967 by Ama Bontemps and George Houston Bass, Executors of the Estate of Langston Hughes. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A Knopf, Inc. "Poem" from The Dreamkeeper and Other Poems by langston Hughes, illustrated by Helen Sewell. Copyright 1932 by Alfred A Knopf, Inc. and renewed 1960 by langston Hughes. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A Knopf, Inc. Peo ple: A Litanyfor reedom Some day we shall be free! eUJfaining flje epitif A Word about the Litany "I.If YYeeping may endure/or a night, but joy comes in the morning. "-Psalm 30 Any litany offreedom for lesbians and gay men ofcolor must address the "weary years" and "silent tears" that have characterized the North American experience. Many gay men and lesbians must still bear the double burdens of homophobia and racism in their communities. The expression ofcommunal grief, like communal celebration, can be an enormously transforming experience. Almost 60 years after James Weldon and 1. Rosamond Johnson penned their moving anthem, "Lift Every Voice and Sing, "I lesbians and gay men ofcolor still face those days when it must seem as though "hope unborn had died" andfreedom be delayed. Such experiences mustfind expression in worship. The congregatio.n is invited to speak this liturgy as an affirmation ofsolidarity and reconciliation-with the reminder that such reconciliation never comes without cost or effort. A soloist can sing briefexceptsfrom "Lift Every Voice and Sing. " For some, this liturgy may come asjudgment; for others, as precious words ofgrace. The gospel message is that the night is already far gone and that even now the morning offreedom for all ofGod's children is breaking. Let us rise to meet the morning. IThefull text and musicfor Lift Every Voice and Sing can befound in the Songs of Zion songbook. published by Abingdon Press. Litany for Freedom Soloist: People: Leader: People: Soloist: Leader: People: Soloist: Leader: People: Soloist: Leader: "God of our weary years"How long shall we wait, 0 God, and when shall we be free? We are your people, scarred by racism and disfigured by prejudice. Seemingly forgotten by all save Jesus. When shall we be free? "God of our silent tears"In closets not of our making and ghettos not of our choice, wearied in the struggle, bleeding, bruised, and tired. Tempted to lay our burdens and softly steal 'way home. Our silent tears still flow, 0 God; our cries rise up to you. "Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way"And lovingly called us yours, And sweetly whispered our names, Not "forever oppressed" but "wholly redeemed," Not "downtrodden slave" but "child of God." "Lest our feet stray from the places our God where we met thee. Lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world we forget thee." "Shadowed beneath thy hand, May we forever stand"And not only stand, 0 God, but dance-a righteous gospel step. For your daughters have visioned it, and your sons have dreamed it. Soloist: "True to our God, true to our native land." People: And to your realm, 0 God. Leader And to ourselves as you have seen us. People: And to the vision of a brighter day to come. All: Amen. Open Hands 17 BYYEE LIN urrent e Chinese are very reticent about sex and malefemale relationships. Needless to say, femalefemale relationships (i.e., lesbian relationships) simply do not exist; it would be too shocking to the Chinese conscience to even acknowledge their existence. At least this was true when I was growing up; Western influence in the sixties and seventies might have slightly changed that attitude. I didn't even know the Chinese word for "homosexual" until I was in my late teens. But I have always been aware of my "feelings" for other women since I was four or five years old. Well, I did not play with my sisters or my girl friends in the neighborhood that much because all they wanted to play was housekeeping and cooking. Instead, I grew up playing soccer, badminton, and Chinese chess with the boys. In particular, I adored two neighborhood girls who could play a good game of badminton and always beat all the boys in badminton, too. I simply gravitated toward female figures since early childhood. I went to an all-girls' school as a third-grader, and have been in all-women schools ever since-including college and graduate school! These women-oriented environments helped me build a very strong and positive sense of being female. I was lucky in this respect, because otherwise I would have grown up just like any other girl from a traditional Chinese family. I can see the reflection of what could easily have been "me" in 99 percent of my girl friends and schoolmates. They all grew up with the very stifling-to me, at least-notion ofbelonging to a man and submitting to him in the not-so-distant future. It is a Chinese virtue for a woman to be a submissive wife-gentle and obedient. I knew what was expected of me as a Chinese woman. It is terribly improper for Chinese women to even speak up in the presence of men. But I must say my parents are, in certain ways, frightfully unconventional by Chinese standards. Perhaps because I am the eldest daughter, my father always enlisted my help in "manly" jobs like waxing the floor, moving furniture, fixing the stereo, etc. Moreover, they often stepped out of the way to encourage me to excel in my studies, in sports, and gave me (and my sisters) plenty of opportunities for extracurricular activities, such as joining the Girl Scouts, taking music lessons, and so on. Such parental attitudes for bringing up girls were quite unheard-of then in a Chinese community. I grew up a free spirit, full of self-confidence and ambitions unseeming of a Chinese woman. Unlike the "average" Chinese young woman, who is usually reluctant to achieve or express herself knowing that she will have a husband who will speak and provide for her anyway, I learned young that I am an individual who has to fend for myself. Therefore, the idea of submitting to a man (i.e., my supposed husband) was sickening to me. Besides, I have always felt that I "love" women, which, by the way, made me even more aware of my "oddity" among other Chinese women, as if being such an "un-Chinese free spirit" were not enough. It is not therefore easy to imagine that lesbians in a Chinese community-a culture imbued with Confucian morality and decency-are extremely hard to come by (to 18 Open Hands put it rather crassly). Even as liberal as my parents are, when it came to my lesbianism, they were alternately shocked, offended, shamed, despaired, and outraged. And I, in turn, was startled too, because I thought-innocently enough-my parents would support my un-Chinese, unconventional mode of life all the way. My high school experience was an episode of my onesided infatuations with various girls in the senior classes. This sort of thing, I learned, was quite common in all-girls' high schools. But deep inside, I knew that in my case it was a serious emotional and physical attraction, and I was not just doing what was "in" under the circumstances. (Sure enough, many of my schoolmates whom I thought were also courting other girls are now "happily married" and raising their children.) I cannot speak for all Chinese lesbians, but I certainly did not feel any guilt about having love feelings for other women. I just felt strange that I did not have the kind of feelings for boys as my schoolmates had. So I kept my lesbian-I didn't know the word then, of course-feelings to myself, and paid lip service whenever they talked about boys. I felt positive and good about loving other women even then. I felt as if! could be the exception: that I could be a woman-loving woman and be accepted by my Chinese environment. A temporary setback came when I was sixteen. My lesbian feelings were getting too intense for me to comfortably live with. At the same time, peer-group pressure was bearing especially hard on me. It was the time when everybody (so it seemed) in my class started actively dating boys. I had never felt so odd, isolated, and totally confused. Finally I succumbed to societal pressure-a move that I bitterly regret till this day. I started dieting in order to look more "feminine" and appealing (I was far too muscular and athletic then); I learned to walk and talk like a "lady"-that is, when I couldn't help not talking. The pressure on me to be "normal," or rather, to be like any other Chinese girl, was just overwhelming. My dieting resulted in a not-so-mild case of malnutrition; but at least I got what I thought I wanted-boyfriends. It took another two years before I could force myself to feel marginally comfortable with going out on a date. Just as I began to feel success in conforming to the expectations for me as a young Chinese woman, I met my first love. It totally took me by surprise, because I thought I had by then gotten my lesbian feelings well under control, and that I was on my way to become a bona fide heterosexual. I was a senior in high school at the time, and she was my ciassmate. I was so thoroughly excited at how supremely good it felt to love a woman that I started directly publicizing our relationship in school. That was very naive and foolish of me; my positive attitude toward lesbianism certainly proved to be one of a kind. When my parents found out about it, they took me to lunch one day, and discussed it with me in a restaurant (as unbelievable as it may sound). Throughout the two-hour discussion, the word "lesbianism" never came up-but we certainly knew what we were talking about. They wanted a confession from me that I "will never do it again." They never got a word of remorse from me, but instead I defended my love unequivocally. It is unthinkable to disobey one's parents if you are a properly brought-up Chinese. I am sure that my parents were very hurt as well as indignant. But I had absolutely no shame or guilt. Mine was quite a "gutsy" coming out considering my cultural background and the circumstances. Mylover left me, rather reluctantly, probably because of all the publicity. My family "ostracized" me for a few months. It was emotionally an extremely trying time for me, but I still would not "confess" that I had done anything wrong. Then came the good news that I got a scholarship to attend college. And the whole matter was dropped instantaneously as far as my parents were concerned. They somehow had this illusion that once I went to college, I would "tum a new leaf," that is, I would be able to leave the "bad influence" in my hometown that got me into "perversion." Of course, just the opposite happened once I left home. My long-suppressed lesbian feelings were set free. But most importantly, having gone through the painful experience of being misunderstood (even by one's own dear parents) and condemned-because of a love so powerful and beautiful-I was determined to work for the liberation of all lesbians. If society is so stubborn and blind as to continue its bigoted oppression of lesbians, at least my (our) efforts can inform our sisters that it is not "sinful" or "perverted" to love other women. I am sure that other Chinese lesbians may have quite a different story in terms of self-esteem and pride in their lesbianism. Several years ago, I came into contact with other Chinese lesbians in my hometown for the first time. I then realized that there was an "underground network" oflesbians that I was not aware ofin my high school days. They were mostly high school students from middle-class families. They would meet at private parties since there were not "women's bars" as such. It was a very close-knit and secretive social circle. It took quite a bit of "leverage" for me to "crack in" at first. But I had a hard time blending into the group anyway because they were very much into role-playing. Since feminism apparently hadn't yet made any impact there, they were unaware that they did not have to pattern their relationships upon the sexist structure of a stereotyped heterosexual relationship. It was almost ironic to see how submissive women could be even to other women (i.e., to their male-identified lovers). Perhaps submissiveness is a distinctive characteristic of Chinese women ... but perhaps it is a universal phenomenon among women-we who have been subject to the indoctrination of male "supremacy" since birth. For this reason, I am committed to freeing my sisters from guilt and shame for loving other women. Lesbianism is the ultimate defiance vis-a-vis the SUbjugation of women by men-an oppression that recognizes no racial or cultural boundaries. 0 I Originally printed as Yee Lin, "It Is Unthinkable to Disobey One's Parents ifYou Are a Properly Brought-up Chinese": in Ginny Vida, editor, Our Right to Love (Englewood Cliffs, NJ.: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1978). Open Hands 19 Black Women. New York: Kitchen Table, cial gay male experience in North Amerton: South End Press, 1983. An autobio1983. ica. graphy in poetry and prose ofgrowing up lesbian with a Mexican mother and an Anglo father. Periodicals Mud Flower Collective. God's Fierce WhimBlack/ Out. The quarterly magazine of the Nonfiction sey. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1985. ChrisNational Coalition of Black LesbiansAllen, Paula Gunn. The Sacred Hoop: Retian feminism and theological education. and Gays. News of particular interest to covering the Feminine in American Indian Black, Hispanic, and white women-a Black lesbians and gay men, and literaTraditions. Boston: Beacon, 1986. A noted mixture of working class, feminists, theoture by lesbian/gay black writers. Write: Native American poet explores a wide logians, and ethicists-address racism, NCBLG, 930 F Street NW-Suite 514, variety of issues related to the history and sexism, homophobia, and classism. Washington, DC 20004. current status of Native American women. Williams, Walter L. The Spirit and the Flesh: Conditions Magazine. Collective-publishedIncludes two chapters with a particular Sexual Diversity in American Indian Culmagazine of writing by women, emfocus on homosexuality in American ture. Boston: Beacon Press, 1986. A leadphasizing writing by lesbians. LatestIndian culture, "How the West Was ing gay historian who is also a professor issue, "13: International Focus I," 1986. Really Won" and 'Hwame, Koshkalaka, ofAmerican Indian studies examines the Write: Conditions, P.O. Box 56, Vanand the Rest: Lesbians in American Native American berdache tradition, whereBrunt Station, Brooklyn, NY 11215. Indian Cultures." by some male tribal members assume Baldwin, James. The Price of the TIcket: "feminine" or "androgynous" social and Collected Nonfiction 1948-1985. New sexual behaviors to exercise spiritual and York: St. Martin'sIMarek, 1985. Contains Organizations educational leadership. One chapter disalmost all of this major gay writer's Asian American Lesbian and cusses the situation of gay Native Ameriimportant nonfiction. Depicts the difGay Men's Network cans in the United States today. ficulty and pain a Black person can face P.D. Box 29627 in trying to forge a clear identity in the Philadelphia, PA 19144 United States. 215/849-4612 Elsasser, Nan; MacKenzie, Kyle; and Tixier y No~ls Gay American Indians Vigil, Yvonne. Las Mujeres: ConverBaldwin, James. Another Country. Originally 1347 Divisadero Street-Suite 312sations from a Hispanic Community. Old published, 1962. New York: Dell, 1985. San Francisco, CA 94115Westbury, N.Y.: The Feminist Press, 1980. ___~ Giovanni's Room. Originally pubTwenty- one New Mexican Women coverNational Association of Black and lished, 1955. New York: Dell, 1985. White Men Together ing four generations recall their experien___. Just Above My Head. Originally ces being Hispanic in their home state. 584 Castro Street-Suite 140 published, 1979. New York: Dell, 1980. Includes one Hispanic lesbian's sharing San Francisco, CA 94114 Walker, Alice. The Color Purple. Originally of her personal "coming out." 415/431-1976 published, 1982. New York: Pocket Books, Gomez, Alma; Moraga, Cherrie; and Romo1983. National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays Carmona, Mariana. Cuentos: Stories by 930 F Street NW-Suite 514u tinas.New York: Kitchen Table, Women Washington, DC 20004of Color Press, 1983. Stories of varied 202/265-7117 Poetry Hull, Gloria T.; Scott, Patricia Bell; and experiences of Hispanic women. Allen, Paula Gunn. Shadow Country. Los Paz y Uberacion Smith, Barbara. But Some of Us Are Angeles: University of California, Amer( Third World lesbian/gay Brave: Black Women's Studies. Old Westican Indian Studies Center, 1982. information network) bury, N.Y.: The Feminist Press, 1982. Clarke, Cheryl. U ving as a Lesbian. Ithaca, P.O. Box 600063 Black women, including lesbians, discuss N.Y.: Firebrand Books, 1986. Houston, TX 77260 topics such as racism, sisterhood, black ___. Narratives: Poems in the Tradition of 713/523-9061 Anthologies Beam, Joseph, ed. In the Ufe: A Black Gay Anthology. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1986. In more than 40 short stories, poems, essays, and other works, 29 contributors share the joys, frustrations, and pains of being black and gay, both in a predominantly white heterosexual society and in Black heterosexual sub society. Moraga, Cherrie, and Anzaldua, Gloria. This Bridge Called My Back: Writinp by Radical Women of Color. Originally published, 1981. New York: Kitchen Table, Women of Color Press, 1983. Black, Asian American, Hispanic, and Native American women examine such issues as feminism, homophobia, and racism through prose, poetry, personal stories, and analyses. Smith, Michael J., ed. Black Men/White Men: A Gay Anthology. San Francisco: Gay Sunshine Press, 1983. Forty-three writers and artists explore the Black and interrafeminism, and theology. Joseph, Gloria I., and Lewis, Jill. Common Differences: Conflicts in Black and White Feminist Perspectives. Originally published, 1981. Boston: South End Press, 1986. Examines areas in which Black and white feminist visions often differ-sexuality, men and marriage, mothers and daughters, etc. Lorde, Audre. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Trumansburg, N.Y.: The Crossing Press, 1984. Eight essays on contemporary liberation struggles by the black lesbian poet, including "Sexism: An American Disease in Blackface." ___. Zami: A New Spelling of My N'ame. Trumansburg, N.Y.: The Crossing Press, 1983. Lorde combines history and myth with autobiography to tell of her personal coming of age, including her realization ofthe force ofwomen working together as "friends and lovers." Moraga, Cherrie. Loving in the War Years. BosWomen of Color Press, 1983. Flores, Angel, and Flores, Kate, eds. Defiant Muse: Hispanic Feminist Poems from the Middle Ages to the Present. New York: The Feminist Press, 1986. Hemphill, Essex. Conditions. Washington, D.C: Be Bop Books, 1986. ___. Earth Ufe. Washington, D.C: Be Bop Books, 1985. Hughes, Langston. The Panther and the Lash: Poems of Our TImes. New York: Alfred A Knopf, 1967. ___. Selected Poems. New York: Vintage Books, 1974. Lorde, Audre. Chosen Poems: Old and New. New York: W. W. Norton, 1982. ___~ Our Dead Behind Us. New York: W. W. Norton, 1986. Parker, Pat. Jonestown and Other Madness. Ithaca, N.Y.: Firebrand Books, 1985. Parkerson, Michelle. Waiting Rooms. Washington, D.C Common Ground Press, 20 Open Hands Empowering Reconciling Ministries ~efirst national convocation of • Reconciling Congregations drew over 100 persons committed to making their local churches truly inclusive, particularly in their ministries with lesbians and gay men. The convocation, entitled "Empowering Reconciling Ministries," was held March 27-29, 1987, in Chicago. The convocation offered participants a unique opportunity to share stories of what was happening in their local churches concerning ministries with lesbians and gay men, to reflect on the biblical/theological foundations of such reconciling ministries, and to plan for mutual support and nurture in this growing movement within the United Methodist Church. The Community Gathered Among the 120 participants at the convocation were representatives of all 22 current Reconciling Congregations. The diversity of the gathered community-gay, lesbian, straight, and bisexual, from different races and cultures-was a model of the inclusive Body of Christ. A further breakdown of participants indicates that they were: 80% laypersons and 20% clergy and 55% women and 45% men. They represented: 51% Reconciling Congregations, 14%potential Reconciling Congregations, 8% UMC general boards and agencies, 6% annual conferences, 6% other denominations, and 15% resource persons. They came from all UM jurisdictions: 35% North Central, 25% Northeastern, 8% Southeastern, 5% South Central, and 25% Western, with 2% from Canada. March 27-29, 1987 Chicago, .&.&'"'.....&v,..." A National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations Encompassing this diversity, a unity of concern and purpose was evident in the times of worship, informal conversation, and formal discussion and planning throughout the weekend. Many participants commented that a highlight of the weekend was the experience of Christian community-"the spirit of community that happened so wonderfully," "the story sharing, sharing each others pains and joys," "dissolution of isolation," "getting strength to support and carry on." The Community Symbolized A significant symbolic activity of the convocation was the cooperative creation of a large banner. Framed by the cross and flame, pink triangle, and green vine (symbols of the Reconciling Congregation Program), the banner was comprised of 16 panels decorated by the various delegations with symbols of their local communities and their aspirations for their churches. A special celebration was held Saturday evening, at which each delegation shared the story illustrated in its panel. One participant noted that the four blank panels at the base of the assembled banner represented not incompleteness but, instead, the promise of other local churches and communities joining the growing movement of Reconciling Congregations. Over the next several months, this banner will be transported to the various Reconciling Congregations for display as a sign of the network that exists between them. The Community in Reflection Several activities during the weekend helped participants to learn more about lesbian/gay concerns within the church and to consider new avenues for reconciling ministries. A Friday afternoon panel consisting of Mary Gaddis and Morris Floyd, cospokespersons of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian! Gay Concerns, and Melvin Wheatley, retired UMC bishop, addressed "Lesbian/Gay Issues in the United Methodist Church: Past and Future." (continued) Open Hands 21 The panelists cited events, initially seen as insignificant in the life ofthe UMC, which have rippled out in !heir ~ffects to be hopeful signs of InclUSiveness of lesbian/gay concerns within the denomination. Four workshops, also held Friday afternoon, dealt with possibilities for r~conciling ministries: I) Homophobia/Human Sexuality Education; 2) AIDS and the Ministry of the Church; 3) Family/Friends of Lesbians and Gay Men and Lesbian/ Gay Youth; and 4) Ritualizing Lesbian/Gay Lives. Each workshop not ~n~y provided information to participants but also stimulated discussion of ministries in these areas already taking place in Reconciling Congrega tions. Tex Sample, professor of church and society at St. Paul School of Theology in Kansas City, addressed the convocation on Friday evening on "Images ofa Reconciling People." Drawing on the Gospel of John and his experience growing up in the South, Sample called on the church to witness to life in the midst of death, to freedom and liberation in the midst of bondage, and to truth in the midst of distortion and lies. He recognized Reconciling Congregations as one form of this witness. On Saturday morning Emilie Townes, on the faculty of GarrettEvangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, spoke to the convocation on "Linking Homophobia with Other Social Justice Concerns." Townes reminded the audience that the "dynamic that allows a child to exist in poverty is the same one that allows us to fear a gay man or lesbian. That dynamic is sin. ... The link between homophobia and race, ?r sex, or disability, or anything else IS that all forms of discrimination and injustice deny God's grace working in our lives." The Community In Action The convocation also devoted time to planning for the develop~ent of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Various working groups focused on: I) Promoting the Reconcilin~ Congregation Program; 2) Developing Reconciling Minis!ries in a Local Church; 3) Networkl~g among Reconciling Congregations; and 4) Impacting the General Church. The participants developed many recommendations to be taken back to their local churches for consideration and implementation. Among these recommendations were: **Help make the RCP more visible by presenting information on the program at district and annual conference events,' by placing ads and anicles in the press; by promoting subscriptions to Open Hands; and by using the RCP logo on local church stationery. **Provide a resource packet to support and educate congregations interested in the program. **Encourage Reconciling Congregations to develop and implement a program ofeducation f or all ages that opens dialogue on human sexuality with special emphasis on the gift ofsexual diversity. **Designate a Reconciling Congregation Sunday with a special offering. **Provide resources to local churches to i".clude the concerns and celebrations oflesbzans and gay men within the care and nurture ofthe congregation. **Urge Reconciling Congregations to host quarterly events to build community and encourage friendships among all groups and individuals within the local church. **Encourage Reconciling Congregations to become involved in lesbian/gay civil rights concerns in the local community. *.*Exchange newsletters and worship bulletms between Reconciling Congregations. **Encourage annual conferences to become Reconciling Conferences. **Propose that Reconciling Congregations send letters to all clergy within their annual conferences telling about the program. **Suggest that current Reconciling Congregations "adopt" emerging Reconciling Congregations. **Encourage Reconciling Congregations to stud~ the question of the ordination of lesbzans/gay men and consider making a request or stating willingness to accept an openly gay/lesbian pastor. **Insure a visible presence of Reconciling Congregations at the United Methodist General Conference in St. Louis in May 1988. **Provide a resolution to General Conference recommending the Reconciling Congregation Program as a model of ministry and church growth. **Provide a quarterly newsletter (in addition to Open Hands) to disseminate news on activities and happenings within Reconciling Congregations. **Develop a steering or advisory committee for the RCP. For a complete report on all the recommendations presented at the convocation, see your congregation's representative to the convocation or write to the Reconciling Congregation Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. Many of these recommendations will be presented for consideration within the individual Reconciling Congregations. United Methodist Church Officials Respond toCon~tion I nvitations to send obselVers to the Reconciling Congregation convocation and requests for fmancial support provided a flurry of activity within the United Methodist general boards and agencies. This activity was reported extensively in the church and secular press in the weeks preceding the convocation. The General Board of Discipleship, at its February meeting, engaged in a prolonged debate over sending an obselVer to the convocation. At the conclusion of the debate, the board was deadlocked at 36-36. When a second vote also resulted in a tie, the board's president, Bishop George Bashore (Boston Area), cast the deciding vote against sending a representative to the convocation. Bashore cited concern that a positive vote could be construed as "acceptance" of gay men and lesbians. Board members supporting the invitation issued a call for their colleagues to make voluntary contributions to finance the expenses of an unofficial representative of the board. Nancy Starnes of Dallas volunteered to attend the convocation, and over $200 was raised to support her. The General Commission on the Status and Role ofWomen (GCSRW) agreed to provide a $1,000 grant to help subsidize the travel of representatives of Reconciling Congregations to the convocation. Cognizant of the UM law banning funds to "promote the acceptance of homosexuality,"· the commission made this grant from a special endowment fund rather than from World SeJVice funds contributed by local churches. Subsequently the General Council on Finance and Administration (GCFA) invoked the official funding ban for the first time since its adoption in 1976 and vetoed the grant by National program recommendations are being followed up by individuals who volunteered during the weekend along with the program coordinators. The Community Celebrated M ter many hours of work, the convocation closed with opportunities for celebrating all that had happened in the first "almost three years" of the Reconciling Congregation Program. GCSRW. As the reason for its decision, GCFA cited the workshop, "Ritualizing Lesbian/Gay Lives," in which liturgies for blessing lesbian/ gay relationships were to be discussed. However, the council did state that this decision did not effect the use of funds to send observers to the event The general secretary of GCFA, Clifford Droke, stated that "we have directors and staff attending all kinds of events without assuming the agency is necessarily endorsing the outcome." The GCFA action was strongly criticized by Affirmation cospokespersons Mary Gaddis and Morris Floyd. They noted that this decision "illustrates perfectly the dilemma Par. 906.12 of the Discipline creates for the church. It severely limits our church's ability to share resources, to learn, and to be in ministry with all of its people." One other UM agency, the General Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns, voted not to send an official representative, and a staff member attended unofficially. Official representatives did attend the convocation from the General Board of Church and Society, the General Board of Global Ministries' National and Women's Divisions, the General Commission on Religion and Race, the General Commission on the Status and Role ofWomen, the National Youth Ministry Organization, and United Methodist Communications. *Paragraph 906.12 of the UM Book of Discipline states that the General Council on Finance and Administration "shall be responsible for ensuring that no board, agency, committee. commission. or council shall give United Methodist funds to any 'gay' caucus or group, or otherwise use such funds to promote the acceptance of homosexuality. The council shall have the right to stop such expenditures." On Saturday evening the local Chicago support team prepared a delicious Indonesian rice table for dinner. This was followed by sharing of songs, stories, and poetry. Each Reconciling Congregation was formally recognized for its decision to join the program. On Sunday morning the convocation affirmed the reports of the various work groups and joined in a litany to claim future promises and hopes for the movement. The convocation concluded by joining together for worship with the host congregation, the United Church of Rogers Park, which is in the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Convocation participants dispersed with a renewed sense of hope and strength garnered from common joys, pain, and dreams shared during the weekend. Many persons expressed forethoughts of a renewed, vital movement ofGod's spirit within the church. As one participant observed: "This convocation is another watershed event in the history of the United Methodist Church. Its impact may not be swiftly felt by the denomination, but it will be felt. The UMC will never be the same because of the coming together of this group." The Community Remembered Indicative of the historic nature of this gathering, many of the convocation activities were recorded on videotape. In addition to recording the activities of the convocation, interviews with several individuals and groups were taped during the weekend. Mter needed funds are received, the tapes will be edited and produced in a format that can be a resource to Reconciling Congregations, current and emerging, and other individuals and groups concerned with ministries with lesbians and gay men within the church. Audiocassette tapes ofthe following presentations are now available: Forum: Lesbian and Gay Issues in the UMC: Past and Future. "Images of a Reconciling People," by Tex Sample. "Linking Homophobia with Other Social Justice Concerns," by Emilie Townes. These tapes may be ordered for $5.00 each (add $2.00 shipping to each order) from: Reconciling Congregation Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. (continued) Open Hands 23 Kairos UMC (Kansas City, Missouri) Regional Workshops Four New Reconciling Kairos was founded in 1970 as an Congregations Provide Training experimental congregation; it is peo'VTe welcome four new Recon~o regional workshops to assist ple-oriented, not building-oriented. ..I. potential Reconciling Con~ciling Congregations since the Kairos began and continues as a gregations were held this winter. In last issue of Open Hands: house church, meeting primarily in Chicago, 45 persons gathered on members' homes. Lay involvement is Dumbarton UMC (Washington, D.C.) February 2, and 15 persons came the focal point of both worship and together in Salem, Oregon, on March study. Kairos is recognized as one of Dumbarton is a congregation of 14, to learn more about the Reconcilnearly 200 active members who comthe highest per capita mission-giving ing Congregation Program and tomute from all around the Washingcongregations in the United Methplan steps for implementing the proton metropolitan area. These memodist Church. gram within their local churches. bers are drawn to Dumbarton for its Kairos is involved in a number of Similar workshops are being diverse local and global ministries ministries and social justice conplanned in other parts ofthe country and its commitment to empowering cerns. The congregation is commitfor fall 1987. If you would like to laypersons in its ministry. Dumbarted to distributing one-half of its assist in planning a workshop for ton worships in a historic building in income beyond the congregation. your annual conference or area, the Georgetown neighborhood. The Kairos supports a number of nawrite to the Reconciling Congregacongregation provides Sunday lunch tional and local missions, people in tion Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashand clothing for a women's shelter, need, and seminary students. The ville, TN 37202. support for a bilingual learning cencongregation provides communion ter, and space for Mid-Atlantic Affirand fellowship at a boarding home mation and the Dumbarton Concert for disadvantaged and handicapped Reconciling Congregations Series. persons. W.hinglon Sq..-,. UMC Wheaclon UMC As a sanctuary congregation, c/o Don Himpel c/o Carol Larson Trinity UMC (Berkeley, California) 135 W. 4th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue New York, NY 10012 Evanston, IL 60201 Dumbarton sponsors an El Salvadoran refugee, and several members Trinity was established more ...rk Slope UMC Albany ...rk UMC have traveled to Nicaragua. The conthan 100 years ago and still serves c/o Beth Bentley c/o Ted Luis, Sr. 6th Avenue & 8th Street 3100 W. Wilson Avenue gregation also has an active peacenearby campuses (University ofCaliBrooklyn, NY 11215 Chicago, IL 60625 makers group. fornia and the Pacific School of CalyaryUMC IrYing ...rk UMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o David Foster 81 5 S. 48th Street 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Religion) and communities. The Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC congregation was right in the middle Philadelphia, PA 19143 Chicago,lL 60641 (Atlanta, Georgia) ofthe action ofthe tumultuous 1960s Dumbllrton UMC Kalro. UMC c/o Ann Thompson Cook c/o Richard Vogel In spring 1984, after months of and '70s and, with other mainline 31 33 Dumbarton St., NW 6015 McGee Washington, DC 20007 Kansas City, MO 64113 soul-searching and prayer and in an congregations, faced crises of faith Christ UMC at. ...ur.UMC c/o John Hannay c/o George Christie effort to combat decades ofdeclining and questions of direction. From a membership and increasing costs, membership of 1,000 in 1960, a core 4th & I Streets, SW 1615 Ogden Street Washington, DC 20024 Denver, CO 80218 Grant Park UMC and Aldersgate group of 300 persons remains to at. John'. UMC Wesley UMC UMC voted to merge and become enthusiastically face the challenges c/o Howard Nash c/o Patty Oriando 2705 St. Paul Street 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Baltimore, MD 21218 Fresno, CA 9371 0 one congregation. This was both a of today. sad and joyful occasion; it marked Trinity is a sanctuary church and Gl'llnt Park-Aldengate ......nyUMC the end of one era and the beginning houses the offices of the East Bay UMC c/o Kim Smith c/o Sally Daniel 1268 Sanchez Street of another. Sanctuary Covenant. In December 575 Boulevard, SE San Francisco, CA 941 14 The congregation provides space 1986, the congregation opened its Atlanta, GA 30312 Trinitr UMC EdgehHI UMC c/o Elli Norris c/o Viki Matson 2320 Dana Street for the Grant Park Cooperative doors to street people to sleep overLearning Center. It also participates night and provided this service until 1502 Edgehill Avenue Berkeley, CA 94704 Nashville, TN 3721 2 in a community food bank and a the city of Berkeley opened a shelter Sunnyhilla UMC Cenlnl UMC c/o Cliveden Chew Haas community center. The pastor has for the homeless. c/o Howard Abts 335 Dixon Road been involved in ministry with AIDS The congregation entered the 701 West Central at Milpitas, CA 95035 Scottwood Wallingford UMC patients. It was this ministry that led process of becoming a Reconciling Toledo, OH 43610 c/o Chuck Richards Grant Park-Aldersgate to consider Congregation with an intentional UniwenHy, UMC 2115 N. 42nd Street c/o Steven Webster Seattle, WA 98103 1127 University Avenue becoming a Reconciling Congregaplan to provide opportunity for all Capitol Hili UMC tion. members to be involved in study and Madison, WI 53715 c/o Pat Dougherty The church family of 110 memdiscussion. The Reconciling Statew. leyUMC 128 Sixteenth Street East clo Tim Tennant-Jayrle Seattle,WA 98112 bers is small but has witnessed ment written by a working group was Marquette at Grant Street growth in the past two years. Minneapolis, MN 550403 adopted unanimously. 24 Open Hands Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 2 No 4 - Minorites Within a Minority https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/20a099e036e413184a0c8e392f7fcadc.pdf f6f712b49769347c52c9f69826a17e23 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 3 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1987 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document ~~.,. ...syour heart tme to my heart as mine is to yours? .. Ifit Journal ofthe Reconciling Congregation Program A ommunity Emerging And Some ofUs Are Remembering By Mary 10 Osterman ..... ..... . . .. .. .. . ... Page 3 Daring to Be Visible By Morris Floyd .......... .. .. ......... ... . Page 6 Creating New Worlds through Language By Dee McGraw .............. . .. . . .. . . .. .. Page 9 V ol. j • No. I-Summer 1987 Open Hands is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc., as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It addresses concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. Together these congregations offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Resource persons are available locally to assist a congregation that is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program ~ P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Reconciling Congregation Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Beth Richardson Open Hands Co-Editors M. Burrill Bradley Rymph This Issue's Coordinators Lloyd Lewis Viki Matson Graphic Artist Brenda Roth Contributors to This Issues Morris Floyd, Pat Floyd, Ron Gebhardtsbauer, Roger Kruse, Judy Matthews-Taylor, Dee McGraw, Nashville Affirmation, Mary Jo Osterman, Steve Webster Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published four times a year. Subscription is $1 2 for four isues ($16 outside the U5A) Single copies are available for $4 each; quantities of 10 or more are $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands P.O. Box 23636 Washington, DC 20026 Copyright 1987 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc. ISSN 0888-8833 Contents The different liberation movements in U.S. society in the mid20th century have put to rest the notion of America as a "melting pot." Increasingly we realize that our society is an intricate web of interrelated, but distinct communities, each having some different values, heritages, and patterns of behavior, etc. As our contemporary church seeks to be truly reconciling and inclusive, we recognize and celebrate these diverse communities which comprise our family of God. The last issue of Open Hands provided a foundation for understanding and celebrating the ethnic minority lesbian/gay experience. This issue paints the larger picture of the lesbian/gay community which is emerging in our society. Although the visible emergence of the lesbian/gay community is often marked from the Stonewall riots of 1969, Mary Jo Osterman traces earlier roots in "And Some of Us Are Remembering" (p. 3). Osterman also looks at the relationship between the lesbian/gay "culture" and our dominant culture. As any emerging community develops its own social forms and institutions, Morris Floyd reviews different aspects of social organization in the lesbian/gay community since 1969 in "Daring to Be Visible" (p. 6). From a more personal perspective, "Reflections of a Community 'on the Way' " (p. 12) relates excerpts from a conversation with the men and women of Nashville Affirmation on their experience within this emerging community. Communication plays a key role in the development of a community and in the way that we relate to it. Dee McGraw reminds us that we are "Creating New Worlds through Language" (p. 9) as we live in our society and seek to be reconcilers in the church. Finally, in "Keeping the Circle Unbroken" (p. 16), Lloyd Lewis and Viki Matson present concrete steps local churches can take to make gay/lesbian culture and heritage an important, ongoing part of their congregational life. RESOURCES (p. 20) reviews four of the many books on the market portraying various aspects of the lesbian/gay community. In SUSTAININ G THE SPIRIT (p. 18), Pat Floyd offers a "Dialogue with Psalmists" about the despair, anger, and joy that gay men and lesbians often feel. Floyd is a member of Edgehill UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Nashville, Tennessee. Included in this issue's RCP REPORT (p. 22) is an interdenominational listing of more than 100 congregations that have declared their openness to lesbians and gay men. NEXT ISSUE'S THEME: Sexual Violence We have previously announced an increase in the subscription price for Open Hands which takes effect with this issue. The annual subscription rate is now $12.00 for four issues within the U.S. Because of greater postage for overseas mailing, subscriptions outside the U.S. will now be $16.00 per year. Single issues may be purchased at $4.00 each. Orders of quantities of 10 or more will be $3.00 each. We regret to have taken this step, but it will help ensure the long-tenn financial viability of our journal. As in the past, inability to pay the subscription price is not a block to receiving Open Hands. 2 Open Hands J~7 hat gives any group " ofpeople distinction and diginity is its culture. This includes a remembrance ofthe past and a setting ofitselfin a world context whereby the group can see who it is relative to everyone else. I have always been bothered by the definition ofhomosexuality as a behavior. Scratching is a behavior. Homosexuality is a way of being, one that can completely influence a person 's life and shape its meaning and direction. -Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words. Gay Worlds Boston: Beacon Press, 1984, pp. xiii-xiv. And Some of Us Are Remembering By Mary Jo Osterman o homosexual people have a culture or just a "lifestyle"? Or are gay men and lesbians a subculture of whatever dominant culture they happen to be born into? In the midst of the extremely personal and often painful struggle of individuals to claim identity and to find ways to survive well in spite of hostilities and condemnation, this more theoretical dialogue has emerged within the gay and lesbian literature. Much of the dominant culture would yet have us all believe that gay men and lesbians are simply a deviant part of the human race to be condemned, cured, ostracized, or kept deep in a closet away from "normal" people. Much of the liberal liberation movement, seeking to accept us, would have us believe we are no different from any of them. and many ofus are not different. . . and some ofus are! Culture is what makes a people unique among peoples. History is the tracing of that people's stories, the interpretation they give to their past life and interactions. Black people have a culture and a history. The Chinese have a culture and a history. Russians have a culture and a history. Native Americans have a culture and a history. The aborigines of Australia have a culture and a history. We can read about these cultures/histories in our libraries and study them in most of our universities. Depending on how long a people has been able to claim openly their culture and history and how much has been lost or suppressed, we may have to search diligently for it. Many blank places may be found. And we may not find it in the "regular" places, but segregated into Black studies, Native American studies, women's studies. But what ofthe culture and history ofthose ofus who are gay or lesbian? Some say we don't have a culture. Others say we do. And what difference does it make? In 1978 in Lavender Culture, in a an essay entitled "A Question of Culture: Mirror without Image," Rose Jordon explored lesbian and gay life in the United States prior to the Stonewall riots of 1969 (see article by Morris Floyd, p. 6) and the rise of the lesbian/gay liberation movement. Jordon examined the dress and language codes, the body of rules, the underground network, the environment of lesbian/gay life, all developed to protect the true identities of gay men and lesbians. She especially examined the gay institution of the times, the gay bar. She found that the codes, the rules, the network, the bar, allowed lesbians and gay men to survive in the midst of a hostile world by living double lives. Jordon used a definition of culture by Robert A. LeVine in Culture, Behavior and Personality (1973). Culture is an organized body of rules concerning ways in which individuals in a population should communicate with one another, think about themselves and their environments, and behave toward one another and toward objects in their environments.1 (continued) Open Hands 3 " '. L.Jesbians and gay men are the only group ofpeople that I know who are born into an alien world. They do not grow up in their own culture, among their own people .. .. Once lesbians and gay men are old enough to distinguish themselves from the rest of the world, they come to know many derogatory things that the world teaches about themselves. And they learn to claim themselves anyway with as much pride as they can. " By this definition, Jordon concluded that gay/lesbian people in the pre-Stonewall days had convinced themselves that they had a different lifestyle and a culture that was uniquely lesbian or gay. Yet she noted that that life was still organized around basic patriarchal principles and a philosophy of life learned from the dominant culture (families, schools, religious groups). She also noted that lesbian/gay life still embraced the stereotypes of feminine and masculine roles, that it accepted and developed with lesbian/gay life a class and race structure based on prejudices paralleling the dominant culture. In short, lesbian/gay life "absorbed all the myths, values, and goals of our basic culture and transported them intact into our other world." She concluded that gay men and lesbians had "created a subculture which had at its core only one difference from the rest of society-that was our emotional! sexual orientation toward members of our own gender."2 From Jordon's analysis we must conclude that pre-Stonewall lesbian/gay "culture" was really only lesbian/gay "lifestyle" that society tolerated because it kept gay men and lesbians separated and subjugated. Lesbians and gay men had simply duplicated the dominant culture within their hidden world, substituting only the gender of their sexual partners. Jordon went on to examine post-Stonewall gay/lesbian life and concluded that by and large it still lacked a distinct culture, though some did seek to examine race, gender, and class assumptions. Yet, as Jordon noted in 1978 (and I believe is still true almost ten years later), much of the gay/lesbian world incorporates much of the dominant society's attitudes about class, race, power, money, status, pornography, and violence. Accepting those rules, many lesbians and gay men are still "out to get a bigger piece of the pie, when in fact the whole pie is rotten.") Jordon concluded that, even though the rise of the gay/lesbian liberation movement had brought us some victories, gay/lesbian life was in fact even more entrenched in the dominant culture because now lesbians and gay men were actively seeking acceptance into that culture. She observed that change cannot usually take place once a group is included, because none of the basic rules have changed. Therefore, she concluded, Until we can honestly realize that we must dispense with the unrewarding values ofa particular culture and not join it to reinforce its status quo-only then will we be able to transcend that society and create a new culture based upon the values we claim will make it a uniquely "gay" culture.4 Are lesbians and gay men simply duplicating the dominant culture with one minor change? Do those of us who are lesbian or gay have to create our own culture in reaction to the one into which we were born? Or do we, as Judy Grahn suggests, have a culture, suppressed but uniquely ours and handed down through the ages? Grahn, in Another Mother Tongue, traces pieces of gay/lesbian culture backwards from some ofthe current derogatory language and stereotypes. In her journey back in time she uncovered older meanings of such words as dyke, faggot, pansy, purp le, lavender, queer, fairy, bulldyke, drag queen, and many more. In recovering the meanings of the words, she rediscovered the stories, the traditions, the older tribal memories so long protected from a hostile world. She discovered a history rich in ceremony, prestige, respect. Does this mean that gay men and lesbians today do have a culture? and many of us don 't . .. and some of us do! If we compare lesbians and gay men with other identifiable groups within our society, we note an important feature. Lesbians and gay men are the only group of people that I know who are born into an alien world. They do not grow up in their own culture, among their own people. Most are born into the patriarchal, heterosexist, racist, classist, and otherwise extremely prejudicial world ofthe dominant culture. In spite of the prejudices that deny lesbians and gay men their identity, somehow they come to know themselves. And they come to find each other. Once lesbians and gay men are old enough to distinguish themselves from the rest of the world, they come to know many derogatory things that the world teaches about themselves. And they learn to claim themselves anyway with as much pride as they can. And some lesbians and gay men know other things ... things they were never taught ... perhaps tribal memories faintly recalled? Last spring, during the national Affirmation meeting in Nashville, a group oflesbians were gathering for breakfast before going to church. We began to talk about dress, how we dressed alike and differently. Some of us began to tell each other how we had always dressed "differently" even as young girls, before we knew who we were. We recalled how we thought the way we dressed was perfectly natural and normal, but how others commented on its queerness. And I remembered then the General 4 Open Hands Commission on the Status and Role of Women homophobia seminar in Chicago, where one gay man shared his desire to cross-dress and how proud he felt when he looked into the mirror and saw his feminine side. How did we know to dress like that? And why? and many no longer know why . . . and some ofus are remembering! Grahn describes the dyke who dresses differently, copying her brothers, her father. Or later, noting that all lesbians are beginning to look like her brothers, the dyke develops yet another way of dressing. And we learn that "dike" means the balance, the path. We learn that Dike (the goddess granddaughter of old Gaia) was the keeper of the balance of the forces in the Old Religions. We learn that one of the social/ceremonial functions of dykes is to provide another way of being a woman. And another. And yet another. And Grahn tells us of the long traditions of cross-dressing among gay men in many of the old cultures (e.g., in numerous Native American tribes and in the religious festivals ofthe Middle Ages).5 She tells us of the days when men and women who cross-dressed were held in high esteem as the priests, the shamans, the medicine women, the healers, the namers. Grahn determines that a major function of homosexual people "is to cross over between" different worlds in order to reveal them to each other.° She also concludes that, though most people ofa distinct group will become assimilated to the dominant culture, always a few will remain at the heart and keep the old ways. For lesbians and gay men, these are the "blatantly Gay, the drag queens and bulldykes," those who maintain the most extreme, the most nearly ceremonial Gay ways.7 Within this group, says Grahn, lie the clues to gay culture and ancient gay traditions. They are carriers of past gay/lesbian culture. Those of us in the church-both lesbian/gay and heterosexual-often view blatantly lesbian/gay people as distasteful. However, if we don't come to know the blatant ones, if we try to quash them, if we refuse to hear them-we destroy the possibility of a continuous heritage of lesbian/ gay culture. Do gay men and lesbians have a culture? Yes and no. Rose Jordon's portrayal of the lesbian/gay world is true to my experience: much of it is a world ofpeople living a slightly different lifestyle, with the only difference being the gender ofpersons' sexual partners. In most other ways, the world of lesbians and gay men parallels the dominant patriarchal world. Most lesbian/gay persons seek to be accepted into that world as it is; they are not trying to change it in any fundamental way. Most simply want to move up the economic, social ladder of success; they want to secure a better place for themselves. Lesbians and gay men are not trying to create a new culture with a new set of rules by which everyone might live more humanely. They just want a bigger piece of a rotten pie. and many ofus have forgotten who we were meant to be And Grahn is right also. Lesbians and gay men do have a history. She, has uncovered bits and fragments of lost cultures where lesbians and gay men were accepted and held in high ceremonial religious esteem. And some of us who are lesbian or gay remember and carry on the traditions. Each historical fragment retrieved and each ceremonial lesbian or gay man who carries on the high function of crossing-over gives all lesbian/gay people more dignity and helps to break down the rigid gender roles created by the patriarchy. Grahn has brought to light for us lesbians' and gay men's ancient position as classic outsider, as the alien, the exile, the shaker and mover, the sacred clown, critic, mirror, goat, shaman/priest, developer of another way. Lesbians and gay men are the transformers in society, the ones who think in "both/and" terms, rather than "either/ or." Lesbians and gay men see inner and outer, strong and tender, male and female, Black and White ... and all the wondrous things between the poles. They are transformers with double vision, says Grahn, standing at the crossroads intent on pointing out possibilities.s and some have always known . .. and some are remembering Fragments of gay and lesbian cultures have been handed down to us. A few lesbians and gay men keep the old ways; some know why and many don't. Most seek simply to be accepted. Yet, those of us who are lesbian or gay avidly learn the old stories and linger over the sacred names as ways to deepen our sense of identity and to strengthen our bonds with each other and with all those who have gone before us. And we watch constantly for those ceremonial few who are always among us! 0 "'7" .J.. hose ofus in the church-both lesbian/gay and heterosexual-often view blatantly lesbian/gay people as distasteful. However, ifwe don't come to know the blatant ones, if we try to quash them, ifwe refuse to hear them-we destroy the possibility ofa continuous heritage oflesbian/gay culture. " REFERENCES I Rose Jordon. "A Question of Culture: Mirror without Image"; in Karla Jay and Allen Young. cds, Lavender Culture (New York: Jove Publications, 1978). p. 445. 2Ibid, pp. 446, 447. 3Sonia Johnson. speech given at Women's Center Conference, Washington, D.C., fall 1983.) 4Jordon, "A Question of Culture,~ p. 4. 5 Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words. Gay Worlds (Boston: Beacon Press, 1984), pp. 55-57.95-96. 6Ibid, p. 47-48. 7Ibid, p. 86. 8Ibid, pp. 273-78. Mary Jo Osterman is co-director of Kin h eart. Jnc.. in Evanston. Illinois, where she is responsible for Kinheart:5 Program on Sex:uality and Homophobia. She is the author of Homophobia Is a Social Disease and co-author ofThe Lesbian Relationship Handbook. She is a member of Wheadon UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Evanston. Open Hands 5 - -IIr • __ _ ___ _ __ .J r _ I • ./W . ./.. r • I •• J, •••• ,. 'I •••. .1 . I-----~ TBy Morris Floyd he titles of two pieces by the Twin Cities [Gay] Men's Chorus aptly capture the paradoxical ... --~ ~• , . .. .Ir.__ , -~_ 11 _ , . .. ,. ,.. 11 JJ I.. . ~ ~ . , .... ..." • I • Bilitis, founded in 1955-primarily devoted themselves to finding ways for gay men and lesbians to "fit in" to the •I, I l state of the lesbian/gay experience today: "Singing to the World" and "Eulogy." Lesbian/gay communities are in a peak period ofopenness, even celebration; they are also in a period of deep mourning for lovers, friends, and family members who have died of AIDS. New opportunities for openly gay/lesbian people seem to appear almost daily; new challenges find their way into lesbian/gay consciousness at the same time: living with the twin realities of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) and an equally deadly backlash of antigay attitudes and violence spawned by fear of AIDS and nurtured by those who would manipulate that fear. That is the context for a review of changes among gay men and lesbians over the last two decades. To attempt such a review is a task I approach with some wariness. I have grown from young to middle adulthood over that time span, guaranteeing sUbjectivity to my reflections. Particularities other than my being gay also establish their own limits: gender, race, socioeconomic status, geography. The beginning of the modern movement for lesbian/ gay liberation is often dated from the Stonewall riots in the summer of 1969. Those riots occurred when a group of men who patronized a gay bar in Greenwich Village in New York City decided that they had put up with enough police harassment. The Mattachine Midwest Newsletter of July 1970 described the events: When the New York Police entered and closed the Stonewall Club during the early morning hours of June 28 a year ago, it must have at first seemed like a rerun of a segment of that old, worn-out Official Harassment Story. But this time things were different; the evicted patrons didn't follow the usual script. Instead, throwing rocks and bottles and chanting "Gay Power," they reacted against years of harassment with an explosion of pentup angry frustration. I The riot and subsequent demonstrations were a marked change from the style of gay/lesbian interaction with the society at large up until that time. Until Stonewall, most gay men and lesbians in New York and elsewhere had silently accepted police harassment-worried that resistance would mean public exposure and, very likely, the loss ofjob, family, housing, etc. What few gay/lesbian activists there were-notably, the gay male Mattachine Society, formed in 1951, and the lesbian Daughters of 6 Open Hands larger culture. As Henry Hay, a founder ofthe Mattachine Society put it, they operated from 1953 to 1959 from the perspective that gay men and lesbians are "exactly the same as everybody else, except in bed.,,2* In the almost 20 years since Stonewall, increasing visibility is perhaps the single most important factor in describing the difference in lesbian/gay lives. This visibility now makes it impossible for institutions such as the church to ignore the presence of those of us who are lesbian or gay. In turn, each time those institutions acknowledge our presence, even when that recognition is hostile, we are given yet another opportunity to speak up, ifonly to protest injustice. Each time a lesbian or gay man appears in a public way, it puts another dent in the stereotypes that shore up homophobic attitudes. But the impact of this increased visibility has been at least as great on lesbian/gay communities as It has been on the institutions that react to a lesbian/gay presence. Since Stonewall, lesbians and gay men have, in many ways, been building a culture. Though the lesbian/ gay community may not meet the strict academic definition of a culture, lesbians and gay men have been creating separate communities ofsupport with some ofthe trademarks of a separate culture. Denied by default or design the ability to be themselves and to be respected in most institutions of the society at large, lesbians and gay men have been building their own institutions. Told that their love "dare not speak its name," lesbians and gay men have been creating places where that love and their relationships are valued and affirmed. One important mechanism of that visibility has become the lesbian/gay pride events that have sprung up around the country. In major cities such as New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, these events regularly draw hundreds of thousands ofpeople, who come not only for a parade but also for festivals, concerts, and a variety of other activities. The spirit is not all that different from the county fairs of another era. Even more important is the *Not all gay/lesbian activism was so assimilation-centered. Prior to Stonewall, Franklin Kameny, a Washington. D.C., gay activist. had begun to articulate the then-radical notion that the establishment needed to be pushed to see lesbians and gay men as they are, to acknowledge the wholeness of their identity and to disavow the notion that homosexuality is a pathological condition. Kameny held that gay men and lesbians were themselves the experts on their lives and that they ought to speak for themselves about their experiences as often as possible. I fact that lesbian/gay pride events can be found in dozens ofmedium-sized cities all over the United States, as well as in large urban centers. The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) is a premier example of another institution that lesbians and gay men have been creating. Though frequently described as a "gay church," MCC is a denomination with a worldwide, urban and rural outreach that welcomes all persons. In many places, the MCC congregation is virtually the only place gay men and lesbians can gather in openness with one another. Many gay men and lesbians, however, prefer to retain their connection to the tradition in which they were raised or to another "mainline" denomination, however problematic that denomination's attitudes toward homosexuality may be. Within most ofthese denominations can be found a special place in which lesbians, gay men, their families and friends have found haven and from which they provide a ministry of presence and challenge to their own churches. The names of several of these groups speak eloquently oftheir role among gay/lesbian people of faith: Acceptance (Southern Baptist); Affirmation (both United Methodist and Mormon groups); Dignity (Roman Catholic); Fidelity ( a nondenominational fundamentalist group); Identity (Christian Science); Integrity (Episcopal); Kinship (Seventh-Day Adventist). Some groups, such as the United Church Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Concerns and the Unitarian Universalist Lesbian/Gay Caucus, have more or less official standing as a specialinterest group within their denomination, but most exist on the margins of their church with little or no access to power and with varying levels of influence. Even a casual look at a guidebook to gay/lesbianrelated services and businesses reveals that religious groups are far from the only or the most numerous evidence ofgay/lesbian institutions. Many cities have gay/ lesbian community services centers, organizations, or hotlines that provide information and access to the myriad of available opportunities for social and service involvement. In some places, these centers provide a full range of social services from counseling to job placement to screening and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases. Senior Action in a Gay Environment (SAGE) has pioneered in efforts to serve and empower lesbian/gay senior citizens. More than 500 self-help programs (such as Alcoholics Anonymous), counseling centers, youth programs, and chemical-dependency treatment programs provide a specialized outreach to persons whose gay/ lesbian expression might make it impossible for them to be effectively served otherwise. Gay/lesbian support groups can be found on the campuses of many universities and professional schools. Groups for lesbian/gay business and professional people abound. Teams of gay/ lesbian athletes can be found at softball and football fields, swimming pools, bowling alleys, marathon courses, and the Olympic-style Gay Games. Nor are the performing arts excluded from the institutionalization of lesbian/gay culture. Theatrical groups such as Theater Rhinoceros in San Francisco and O. Wilde Productions in Minneapolis provide arenas for the gay/lesbian community to look at itself and reflect on its experiences. Gay/lesbian marching bands exist in a dozen or more cities, and more than two dozen choral groups perform in the premier concert facilities of their cities. These many expressions of the gay/lesbian community have an influence far beyond the people they touch directly because of the ways that they provide visibility and therefore a reassurance of self-worth to all lesbians and gay men who know about them. Increased visibility has also had its impact on bars, perhaps the oldest institutions in gay/lesbian culture. Since at least the 19th century, gay men and lesbians have used the bars as much more than places for liquid refreshment. In fact, bars have played much the same role in gay/lesbian culture that churches have played for much of their history in this country: Gay and lesbian bars have been the centers at which people gather to meet one another, to discuss the important issues of the day and mark major events of their personal lives. In previous generations, many bars were located in rather seamy locations and could best be described as dark dives. More recently, bars have literally been opening up. Where formerly there would have been a wall of smoked glass, clear glass may now look out on the street. Perhaps more important, lesbian and gay bars are increasingly owned by members ofthose communities themselves. These owners, along with a growing number of heterosexuual owners of gay/lesbian bars, often express a sense of obligation to put back into the community some of the profits gained from the people who spend their money there. Rather than functioning as exploiters of a largely hidden and oppressed group, they contribute money, energy, time, and use of their facilities to enable the healthy growth of their community. As these institutions have emerged, an unfortunate fact is that lesbians and gay men have exhibited much of the same exclusivist behavior as the rest of society. Many, if not most, lesbian/gay bars, religious groups, clubs, and (continued) Open Hands 7 social networks remain segregated along racial, gender, and economic lines. Many middle-class, professional, White gay males, for example, have trouble being sensitive to the special concerns of women, persons of color, or those with less money or education than themselves. Partly as a result, and partly out of the necessity to serve their own needs, lesbians, Blacks, and others have created institutions of their own-for example, women's coffee houses in many cities, the National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gay Men, and the Asian American Lesbian and Gay Men's Network. Though most lesbian/gay institutions are primarily in urban areas, it should not be concluded that lesbians and gay men are primarily city-dwellers. In fact, many are moving out of cities to smaller communities. With their identity and self-image now solidly formed, some are looking for the calmer pace of "exurbia." The gay or lesbian resident of a small town can read about all that is going on in the distant medium-or large-sized cities in the more than 500 gay/lesbian publications. Many of these people make a point to travel to locations like San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, Key West, or Provincetown, where they can experience a concentration of gay/lesbian culture and social activities. They give generously to support a dozen or more national lobbying, legal advocacy, and political action organizations such as the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Lesbian Rights Project, and the Human Rights Campaign Fund. Since 1981, the AIDS epidemic has been a major element ofincreased visibility for gay men at least. From a global perspective, of course, AIDS primarily affects heterosexual persons. But, due to happenstance, the disease gained its North American and European entry in the gay and bisexual male population, where it was first recognized. By 1984, when the disease began to be taken seriously in North America by people outside the gay community, its connection with that community was indelibly marked in the general public's mind. Gay men have been forced by the presence of a deadly sexually transmitted disease in their midst to look carefully at issues they might otherwise have ignored, including re-examining many of their values. This reexamination is especially evident with respect to sexuality and sexual behavior. Social stigma has long been responsible for a situation in which there have been very few ways to express one's identity as a gay man. For some gay men, that expression has taken the form of frequent, often anonymous, sexual activity with different partners. AIDS has made reconsideration of this kind of sexual activity mandatory, since persons who have large numbers of anonymous partners are especially likely to become infected. Because so many gay men are already infected by the AIDS virus, however, limiting the number of one's sexual partners is not adequate to prevent transmission of infection. Risk reduction also has required major changes in the specific sexual activities in which gay men engage. Any losses gay men may feel over the necessity of revising sexual behavior, however, are dwarfed by the other losses they face because of AIDS: threats to their civil and human rights as persons perceived to be at risk for the disease; the roller coaster ride of hope alternating with despair inherent in conflicting research reports; the 8 Open Hands loss of attractiveness, strength, independence, and dignity felt or feared by those living with infection by the AIDS virus; the deaths of thousands of lovers, family members, and friends, and the probability that hundreds of thousands more will die over the next five or ten years; the incalculable pain in the loss of a long-sought relationship with that "special someone." But AIDS has also been the occasion for unprecedented demonstrations of individual and community concern, showing strength and resilience previously unacknowledged either within or outside the gay/ lesbian community. Long before public health or other officials understood the seriousness of AIDS, gay men and lesbians in many communities had begun developing mechanisms to provide care for those who were ill and to educate their friends about how to avoid acquiring or transmitting an infection. Though this contribution is still largely unacknowledged outside the gay/lesbian community, it is appropriately a source of tremendous pride. Nor has the gay/lesbian community effort diminished as other portions of the society have begun to respond. We can all hope that pride will counter many of the negative messages and at least some of the loss. AIDS is not a phenomenon that could have been predicted or controlled. Nevetheless, it does remind us all of the basic fact that the greatest changes in the gay/ lesbian community have resulted from decisions to actthe decision almost 20 years ago of a handful of gay men in the Stonewall Club not to put up any longer with police harassment; the decision of first dozens, then hundreds, then thousands of gay and bisexual men in this decade not to surrender to the threat of a deadly disease. These decisions are paradigms for choices individual lesbians and gay men make every day as they decide whether and how to come out to family, friends, co-workers; what kinds of relationships they will form; what objectives they will set for educational and professional endeavors; how they will spend whatever time remains in their lives. Clearly lesbians and gay men have made important substantial gains since Stonewall-in establishing their own communities, their own institutions, their own identities. There is much still to be accomplished, of course. As noted above, racism, sexism, and economic elitism remain powerful forces in much of the lesbian/gay community. Many lesbians and gay men retain realistic or unrealistic fears of being too visible. Many heterosexual (and even some homosexual) persons continue to agree with the 1950s perception that all that makes gay men and lesbians different is what they do in bed. Nevertheless, the message should be clear: Those of us who are lesbian or gay are, as a group, not going to be invisible ever again. We now dare to speak our name, and we will continue to speak it proudly. 0 REFERENCES IQuoted in James W. Cheseboro, ed .. Gayspeak (New York: Pilgrim Press, 1981), p. 238. 2Quoted in Jonathan Katz, Gay American History (New York: Avon Books, 1978), p. 627. Morris Floyd is a member ofthe California-Pacific Annual Conference ofthe United Methodist Church. He lives in Minneapolis and is one of the official spokespersons for Affinnation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Words do not exist in a vacuum. They are spoken and written by human beings who want to communicate with one another. When any of us, as human beings, exchange conversation, our words and sentences transmit meaning, conveying the thoughts, impressions, and feelings of one of us to one or more others. Sometimes, the response is a delighted, "Oh, I see what you mean!" and sometimes a dismayed, "No, that's not what I meant at all." In either case, however, the dynamic is the same: one of us is attempting to put meaning into words and to communicate that meaning to others. By Dee McGraw As Christians who are committed to reconciling ministries within our local churches, our denominations, and Christianity and society in general, we must always bear in mind this basic truth about communication. An important key to bridging gaps and building understanding between lesbian/gay and heterosexual personsor between any frequently separated groups of people-is using language that reconciles, rather than consciously or subconsciously alienates. For communication to happen, words cannot rest passively within a dictionary but must play in the spaces between people. As the philosopher Paul Ricoeur has explained, an "event" happens."! Standing behind this event are some key assumptions. Most obviously, those of us who are trying to communicate must speak the same language. Not only must our sounds and phonetic combinations translate into given words, but those words must be understood in the same way by all persons involved. I remember with a bit of embarrassment the bewildered looks on the faces of a group of Oriental students in a Freshman English class I once taught when I instructed the class to "brainstorm" an assignment. They had dutifully looked up brain and storm in their dictionaries but finally had to come (continued) Open Hands 9 ask me what my bizarre metereological instructions might mean. Similarly, I suspect, many of our "lovers' quarrels" and hurt feelings arise because we assume we have a shared interpretation or value when that is not, in fact, the case. I know that I often have to look a friend in the eye and say, ''I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions; I misunderstood what you meant." But communication does not stop here. Language does not just reflect understanding; it creates new understanding. When we exchange ideas, we often come to new insights and shape new decisions. By our mutual understanding, we create a new reality. In a White church, for example, a shared common reality may be prejudice and racial exclusion, but after a Bible study series and a pulpit exchange with a neighborhood Black congregation, new understanding and inclusion may be created. In a powerful way, it is the communication of these two congregations that serves as the vehicle for new insights and, ultimately, the new world they create for worship and community. This new creation is possible because, when we communicate, we are each able to express our individual experiences to the others, enabling all involved to become aware of experiences of reality besides our own. Though one of us cannot experience the life of another, no matter how intimate the two ofus are, we can each tell what our individual lives mean to us. Each of our worlds is then expanded. In this way, words are "performatives," to use Ricoeur's terminology They do something by their being spoken or written. A familiar example is the pledge "I promise"; by vocalizing or writing the words, the communicator commits the promise. The same is true for blessings, warnings, and commands. Indeed, Ricoeur claims, all discourse is performative: an event happens in which a new reality is created. Language creates a world. According to Ricoeur, this phenomenon is especially powerful through written texts, in which a message becomes fixated for a potentially universal audience. No longer is an event limited to an exchange between individuals at a given place at a given time. Instead, it is available to any person of any time who picks up the publication. (Of course, if un10 Open Hands derstanding is to occur, the author and the reader must share a common language and a common perception of the reality underlying the text.) A reader can respond to a text in one of two ways: by merely comprehending the information that has been read, or by appropriating it, making it his or her own. Ifthe latter is chosen, the reader is inevitably changed. The world of the text-along with the values, assumptions, and judgments-is accepted as the reader's own. Words, then-whether written or spoken-are not mere words, because they represent our worlds and our ways of being. Advertisers have known this for years, so when they name a car a Monte Carlo or a perfume Obsession, they are using those words to hook us into a world in which we want to live and to make us believe that using that product can place us there. Behind any language stands shared cultural mythologies that define us, telling us who we are. Consider the epithets "Uncle Tom" and "Commie." These insults would be meaningless without the assumptions about reality and the histories that stand between them. Consider, too, the implications behind an axiom like "ladies first." This seemingly benign rule ofconduct assumes certain truths about males and females and how they are to relate to each other. So, when we teach our children manners, we are giving them their world view. Usually, the world that stands behind our language-our rules, nicknames, stereotypes, idioms, and labelsis unconscious and unexamined. But it is nevertheless powerful. In a very real way, it creates us as a community. We share stories, legends, myths, and slang. We have a common memory and a projected future; that is, we share a world. Furthermore, we pass that world along to each generation. As the philosopher Eric Heller has written, "Be careful how you interpret the world; it is like that.,,2 This chilling thought impels us to look more closely at our language. What is the world we are projecting for ourselves and future generations? The world in which we live may have been created out of half truths, lies, misunderstandings, and errors, but nevertheless, it is our reality now. And each time we use words like faggot and bulldyke, we perpetuate a world in which certain persons have standing and power while others are to be ridiculed and despised. For us, who together form the church, this realization is crucial. The prophetic function of the church is to create a new way ofbeing, the new age that Jesus inaugurated. The only way this can happen is for our reality to be changed. The foundation of this change is within our hearts as we allow ourselves to be conformed to the spirit of the Christ. Then, and only then, can we begin to give ourselves to the task of transforming the world. Since language is both a vehicle and a shaper of culture, we must change our language if we want lasting change in our world. This begins with intentional awareness of the language we now use. We must ask, "Is our language reconciling?" The word reconciliation is from a Latin word meaning "to meet." It implies that what has been apart meets. To be a reconciling congregation or a reconciling individual means that we somehow take two opposing worlds and bring them together. We take our contemporary understanding of reality and bring it closer to the reality preached by Jesus the Christ. At the same time, we heal the breach between opposing viewpoints and views of the world. As I have explained, we must be able to communicate with each other if such healing is to happen. This is a difficult task, especially if we use language that is nonreconciling-that fixes us in our old world rather than moves us toward a new age. Such language does not offer a challenge for growth or a cutting edge. It refers to a reality that is cruel and damaging. Use of sexist terminology, for example, acts to keep us in a world in which female identity is subsumed within the male, a world in which chairs of committees, congressional representatives, firefighters, and police officers are all male. We may claim with all sincerity that we mean everyone when we use a word like mankind, but the world out of which that language emerged and the subliminal world it creates is a world where "men are men" and where we "put the little lady on a pedestal." It is a world in which leaders and public officials are indeed male. Nonreconciling language can be separated into at least four categories. These differentiations can be easily seen by examining language that is often used in relationship to homosexuality. One category of nonreconciling language is abusive language. Words like queer label and judge. This kind of talk sets up two opposing worlds and forbids "them" from entering "our" world. It creates a world of exclusion and violence. It implies hierarchies of worth and acceptability. And abusive language is not limited to biased heterosexuals; gay men and lesbians are often guilty ofcritical language against the heterosexual world. Such talk may be understandable, but it is not reconciling. Another category of nonreconciling language is insider language. Oppressed groups usually create their own vocabularies and their own interpretations of the outside world's vocabularies. Thus, it is that dyke is a common insult when used ofa lesbian by a heterosexual, but it is a label of pride to a homosexual woman who accepts and enjoys her identity. This is because this word refers to a different reality for a lesbian than for a homophobic man or woman. Judy Grahn, in Another Mother Tongue, says, "I have explored words such as faggot, fairy, bulldike, and so on. These words have a far different meaning for Gay people than they have for straight people in general . . . This is because heterosexual people have a different mindset from Gay people ....,,3 Once again, insider language is understandable, much more so than abusive language. Oppressed groups must create and maintain a safe place, and it is necesary for them to retreat to this place for nurturing, empowerment, and re-creation. Nevertheless, this language is nonreconciling. It deliberately shuts "them" out of "our" world, creating a defensive, separatist world. A third category of nonreconciling language is authority language. This type of language is frequently found in condemning theological talk, pseudopsychological jargon, and abusive legal decisions-for example, in statements about gay men and lesbians being saved from the sin of homosexuality or in legislation forbidding homosexuals from teaching school or seeking apartments in certain parts of town. This language presumes that "we" have the truth about "them." It circumscribes "our" world as correct, pre-ordained, and God-given and creates a world of arrogance and judgment. Itjustifies harassment, loss of civil rights, and condemnation, all in the name of authority. The fourth and final category of nonreconciling language is at the same time the least obvious and consequently the most insidious and damaging. It is silence. Much of the time, homosexuality is discreetly overlooked and not named. It is left out of most sex education classes and is referred to with euphemisms by polite society. Most of us grew up with unmarried aunts or uncles, neighbors, or teachers who lived with a "friend" and were protected by a veil of wellmeaning silence. For generations, homosexuality has been referred to as "the love that dare not speak its name." Silence allows violence and discrimination to go unchallenged. It perpetuates myths and stereotypes. Worse still, it leaves gay men and lesbians without community or affirmation and confused about their identity. Itcreates shame and shuts off the possibility of healthy development and positive self-image for young homosexuals struggling with sexual identity. A recent Open Hands article detailed one lesbian's pain of being constantly told, "Just be invisible." What would truly reconciling language be, and how can we create it? We must begin by examining our cultural mythologies and assumptions. We all carry unconscious racism, sexism, and prejudice, and so the awareness process is painful, but we must look honestly at ourselves, our worship services, and our conversation. Do they perpetuate a distorted world view? Is the world that they project true? Is it a place in which we want to live? Most important, what new reality does it call into being? Language is a potent force in our culture. It carries our heritage, and, moreover, it brings new worlds into being. According to one of our treasured stories, the God of creation spoke and transformed a watery chaos, first into light and then into life. As reconciling people, may we say of the worlds we have spoken into being, "That is very good." 0 REFERENCES 1Paul Ricoeur. Interpretation Theory (Ft. Worth: Texas Christian University Press, 1976), 2Quoted in Sallie McFague, Models of God (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1987), p. 28. 3Judy Grahn, Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay Worlds (Boston: Beacon Press, 1984), p. xiii. Dee McGraw is a third-year divinity student at Vanderbilt Divinity School in Nashville. In her discussion ofPaul Ricoeur's language theory, she relies on classroom lectures. discussion, and readingfrom a Vanderbilt Divinity School course, "Homiletics and Hermeneutics," taught by Professor David Greehaw. Open Hands 11 O n a gray, damp Sunday in February, several members of Nashville Affinnation met in a cozy suburban condominium to talk about our lives together. We had a list ofquestions to get the group thinking and talking about what it means to be a part ofa community. The questions generally could be grouped into three categories: What do we gain f rom being in a community? How does being a part ofa community help us live in the world? and How does community help us grow? We talked for three hours while a tape recorder whirred away. Many persons' thoughts are reflected in this compilation of these comments that were made. The longer we talked, the more we realized that we are not alone. We are a community with both a common unity and a wildly happy diversity. Our community is not done. We are "on the way "; we are still in the process ofbecoming. Other communities' experiences will be differentf rom ours. However, we offer our memories, insights, hopes, andf ears as a gift-an important part of our celebration ofgay/lesbian history and culture. We want to thank especially one member of our community, Tom Burgess, who spent innumerable hours transcribing the tape, sometimes barely audible, other times garbled by the enthusiasm and emotions of the speakers. We are not alone, and we do not want any ofyou-lesbian/gay or heterosexual-to be alone either. 12 Open Hands YOU ARE MY PEOPLE: How we become who we are. M any people in our group talked about times in their lives that were "turning points" for them. Those turning points were times when they, often for the first time, ~ere able to identify with other lesblan/ gay people. Over and over again, persons talked about and resonated with the powerful phrase, "You are my people." Because of being able to identify with a particular community, being gay or lesbian b~came an entirely different expenence than it would have been ifthey had been gay or lesbian alone. Here are illustrative comments from two persons in Nashville Affirmation: We must form a community for ourselves. A community tells us who we are and who we can become. The last time National Affirmation met in Nashville [March 1981} was just after I had a relationship end. I really was not certain ifrelationships were for me or what was to happen next. I had for the first time a really strong sense at the meeting of those people being my people. I continue offa.nd on of having the experience of that being the turning point in my life as a lesbian. A man in the group also shared one of his experiences at that national meeting several years ago, an "aha experience" that for the first time for him emphasized that "we're in this together." The Saturday night ofthe meeting the men and women met separately at Scarritt Graduate School [then Scarritt College}. The night watchman came to the door of where the men were meeting. He told us that the switchboard had received a call from the Ku Klux Klan. The Klan would be waiting for us when we left the meeting to show us that no 'faggots' were going to gather in Nash ville. I remember that there was a little guy sitting next to me. In our culture he would have been called a 'queen. ' I knew that ifanyone would be a targetfor the Klan it would be him. For the first time in my life, I felt that ifsomething violent were to happen, I would protect him with all the resources I had. This was the first time that I felt, 'Hey! These men really are my people, and nobody is going to hurt them.' The experience of finding a people does not lead to the "you and me against the world" attitude or style of being in the world. Rather, as we talked, we were overwhelmed by the remarkable awareness: "Because of you, it is easier for me to be in the world. We're in this thing together." Several persons talked about self-acceptance and pride that comes from being a part of an affirming community: Bef ore becoming a part of Affirmation, I began to believe all the stereotypes and crap heterosexuals and the dominant culture were saying about gay men and lesbians. I started accepting and acting out those stereotypes. Being gay was really a 'sick' thing to be. Then I met you all. Now, I know that gay people aren't strange, just wonderfully different. I believe that Affirmation brought on that change. " Affirmation, as an affirming, accepting, proud community of persons, can provide an essential alternative to what lesbians and gay men too often hear from the "straight" world. We need each other's support and strength to resist being what the nongay/lesbian world expects us to be and to form a positive identity as gay/lesbian persons. We cannot go it alone. As persons continued to share insights and fears and hopes, several in the group returned to how the world tells us what is acceptable and not acceptable. As lesbians and gay men, we often internalize those definitions and standards about how to be who we are. They [the heterosexual world} already know that being gay is not acceptable, but, if you are gay, there are certain ways to do it. One woman said: You're acceptable ifyou are very attractive and dress in skirts and smile nicely. However, ifyou wear your cigarettes rolled up under the sleeve of your T-shirt and clump around in a pair of heavy boots, then you have a 'bulldyke' image. And that's NOT acceptable. It was time to change tapes, but people did not want to stop talking. We realized that being a community "on tape" meant using our common sense to sort out all the messages we get about how to be who we are. And these conflicting, negative presumptuous messages not only come from the heterosexual world but also from gay/lesbian culture. These comments from two women and a man vividly illustrate the "identity crisis" often caused by the messages about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable that are received for the lesbian/gay community: I remember a point of having a real identity crisis. 'OK, this is what I'm supposed to be and that's how I'm supposed to look. And I don't. ' I'm not the type to wear nailclippers on belt loops. (con tinued) Open Hands 13 Some of this stuff can get oppressive from our direction, too. I know there are lesbians who think it is not politically co"ect to wear make-up, that it binds us to the heterosexual society. That may be true for some lesbians, but not for me. I can be a good lesbian wearing make-up. I often feel that if I don't have the 'right' name on my jeans, the co"ect color shirt, the appropriate shoes, the authorized car, and the good address that I'd better not walk into that gay bar. And God forbid that your washboard stomach doesn't ripple sensuously. The challenge to the gay/lesbian community to be inclusive of all folks, no matter how we look, dress, speak, and so forth, is the challenge not to mirror the prejudices and biases of the heterosexual world. We must help each other feel positive about who we are, without imposing strict categories, rules, or expectations about how to live out our identities as lesbians and gay men. In our conversations, we found that being a part of a community also helped us identify ourselves as an oppressed people without selfpity. This can be strengthening and empowering. It also can sensitize us to the plights, problems, and possibilities of other oppressed peoples. When we recognize that we share an identity with other oppressed people and that all oppression is linked together, our sense of justice can be sharpened. Because we are part of a community, we can give ourselves, our talents, and our time to the world, to the communities, to the church, and so forth as seekers after justice. But it is our being a part of a community "on the way" that makes that possible. DIVINE DIVERSITY: Difference really is beautiful. Homogeneity is not the norm for life in community. Genuine community celebrates rich diversity. In Nashville Affirmation we have -an elderly man who is experiencing the transition from living alone to living in a nursing home, -a woman who, having just completed her schooling, is moving across the country to launch her career, -a woman in the midst of a midlife career change from a successful professional situation to a divinity school student, -a lesbian couple in the process of adopting a child, -a man and a woman who each have a child growing into adolescence and are struggling with issues of parenting and family. A part of the diversity that community must celebrate is gender difference. One man shared his feelings this way: Something I appreciate about Affirmation that isn't true about a lot of other groups I'm a part ofis that this is a group in which I can relate to women in a fairly intimate way. A lot of the women in Affirmation have become close to me, and I've more readily shared some ofthe problems going on in my life with a couple of the women rather than the men. Nashville Affirmation had provided opportunities for the building of significant friendships with persons of the other gender. These friendships are free of role expectations and sexual agendas. They allow us opportunities to experience and appreciate and value the differences and similarities between women and men. Out of the rich tapestries of our life experiences and wisdom do we strengthen and nurture each other. LOVE AND SEX· We can talk about that, too. W e were somewhat surprised that we freely could talk about love and sex with each other. One of the women in the group who had been silent for awhile spoke pointedly about what the gay men in Affirmation had helped her learn: From gay men, lesbians can learn something about the joy of sex and the gift of positive and healthy feelings about sexuality. Sensuality, awareness, and appreciation of the body-gay men have taught me much about being sensual toward all oflife and creation. Almost at the same time, one of the men shared how lesbians had taught him about the importance of emotional bonding and the significance of being a friend to one's lover. I think one of the things that makes friendship among men, especially gay men, so difficult is that we are socialized to think that having sex with someone is the acceptable way ofbeing intimate . ... And that takes the place of another kind of intimacy, the emotional intimacy that I've 14 Open Hands heard lesbians talk about-the bonding that goes on. Men need this, too, but we're not very good at doing it because we usually end up in bed with each other before we find it. As we talked, we realized that our community provided us a setting in which honest and personal communication about sex can happen. One of the problems we have had is that some of the women are offended by the men's use ofsexual language, banter, and innuendo. But we have begun talking with each other about the words we use and how they help us define who we are. We feel that it is uncommon for men and women to talk about sex and love openly. We do. As a result, we have learned how rare and wonderful intimacy is and how urgent it is for us to model intimacy for each other by supporting and encouraging each other's intimate relationships. AIDSAND US: We really are not alone. The question about AIDS, of course, was raised. There was silence. Then, as one, we thanked God that we have not experienced the death from AIDS of anyone in Nashville Affirmation. We also voiced the fear and the knowledge that we cannot forever be untouched. Many of us have experienced the death of gay friends who have been a part of other Affirmation groups and friends from the larger gay community. We knew that it was necessary and appropriate when talking about being a community becoming that we ask how AIDS affected our intimate relationships, our community, our politics, our ethics, and so forth. Here are some of the responses: Yes, it's changing for men who recognize what a threat AIDS really is. Unfortunately, many gay men still feel sex is like Russian roulette: you drop your quarter in the dirty movie box and take your chance. But I think more and more gay men are learning what 'safe sex' really is all about. And that there is the unavoidable need to practice safe sex .... There's still a lot of erotic behavior without bonding but, at least, men are learning to be more responsible. I can't put myfinger exactly on how AIDS has impacted the lesbian com un ity. I had never given blood until recently, and somehow that is my symbolic way of reaching out to people with AIDS. (During Nashville's Gay Pride Week in 1986, one of the women from Affirmation headed a blood drive by lesbians that targeted the lesbian community as donors to show solidarity with gay men. Donors became "blood sisters" to gay men.) It's heightened my awareness of the gay community. It used to be that gay men were 'them, 'and lesbians were 'us. 'Now it's more of a 'we' and how 'we' are going to beat this. As a nurse, I am learning how to respond to the fear, anger, and resentment many of the persons in my profession feel toward persons with AIDS. How has AIDS changed us as a community? Perhaps we no longer take each other for granted. Perhaps we are more gentle and tender with each other. Perhaps we are more willing to hold each other accountable for our actions. Perhaps we know dramatically how fragile community is and how precious each of our lives really is. GIFTS BORN OF GIFTS: What do we give back? As we neared the end of our conversation, we, knowing how blessed we were, needed to decide what we could and would give back for the richness we had been given. To the church we want to continue to be a "thorn in the flesh." We want to call the church to greater and more inclusive faithfulness: I think the church needs Affirmation a great deal. Theologically and biblically, we might be like the remnant the faithful Israelites were. We need to speak the unpopular word in the land. I think Affirmation can address the church by keeping gay and lesbian issues alive and prodding the church to be honest. We want to keep persons and institutions sensitive to oppression. We want our intimate relationships to mature so that we can model mutuality and intentionality and responsible sexuality for other persons. Nashville Affirmation is a community "on the way." Being in a community is not always easy. In fact, sometimes it is a relentless pain. We do not always like each other, but we intend to endure and persevere with each other over time. Maybe that's love. We turned off the tape recorder knowing and rejoicing that we are not alone and that we have much to do to help other persons celebrate community as lesbians and gay men with a history, culture, and life-experiences that are valid and valued. 0 Open Hands 15 Tt By Viki Matson and Lloyd Lewis he country gospel hymn, "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?" asks the question about the continuity of life beyond death. On the surface, this hymn celebrates "a better home a-waitin' in the sky." The same question, however, can also be asked about the ongoingness of human relationships on earth and their ever-present influence on how persons live all aspects of their lives-how they love, act, get angry, become gentle, live, and die. As our cultural heritages accumulate and constantly expand, we human beings keep a circle unbrokenthrough our children, our art and literature, our hymns and symphonies, and our memories and visions. Gay men and lesbians share in this continuity, even though this fact has largely been hidden through much of history. With increasing vigor, however, gay men and lesbians are now reclaiming their heritage, a heritage that provides them with their unique identities and reminds them dramatically and profoundly that lesbian foremothers and gay forefathers also exist who must be remembered and celebrated. All Christians-not just gay men and lesbians who claim the Christian church as part of their historiesneed to acknowledge and face the challenge to keep alive the special gifts of gay/lesbian history. We all must recognize that the oppression (including the denial by silence) of anyone group is, in truth, the oppression of all groups. We all must work to make a reality the vision of the Body of Christ, the community of faith, as a diverse, ethnically varied, economically pluralistic, nongender-specific community that is the embodiment of inclusiveness. Part of this inclusiveness must be a refusal to make a heterosexual orientation the norm for mutual human relationships. Same-sex orientation and preference must be celebrated by all of God's people if the circle of life is to be kept unbroken. Notjust accepted. Notjust tolerated. But celebrated in its wholeness and brokenness. To do otherwise is to fail to keep the clear mandate, throughout the Bible, to welcome all of humanity, with love and enthusiasm, into the family of God. 16 Open Hands Celebrating Otherness The ordinary church usually pays tribute to cultural diversity on designated or approved Sundays, often only mentioning the "concern" for the day. For the extraordinary church, however, this is not enough. The extraordinary church celebrates cultural diversity by integrating its commitment to the inclusion of the "other" into the total life of the congregation. It frequently sings spirituals that were born out of the pain and hope of Black American slaves; its remembrances of the stories of American Blacks is not limited to some set-aside "race relations day." It incorporates Native American spirituality into its worship, committee meetings, and social action ministries, especially the central emphasis on the sacredness of the earth and of all creation; the physical world is hallowed in every thing the church does. The extraordinary church faithfully and joyfully uses the rich resources in the liturgies, poetry, music, and festivals of Hispanics and Native Americans, of Arabic and other Middle Eastern persons, as well as of Africans and Europeans. And the truly extraordinary church goes one step further, a step that requries greater intentionality in research and use because resources are not as readily available. It takes the step of integrating gay/lesbian culture and history into the total life of the congregation. The truly extraordinary church knows that gay/lesbian culture and history, though filled with pain and persecution, also brims with joy and affection. Remembering Gay Men and Lesbians Churches that want to be truly extraordinary can act in a wide variety of ways to remember and celebrate the culture and history of gay men and lesbians. They can: • Use music that includes lyrics that are inclusive of lesbians and gay men. Just as churches are learning to change the words of hymns to include women as well as men, they need to consider how lyrics can perpetuate heterosexual cultural norms and thereby deny the existence, value, and contributions of gay men and lesbians in church and society. Moreover, churches need to intentionally and openly use music composed by gay men and lesbians; this should include music that celebrates the joy of same-sex relationships as part of Christian family. • Preach sermons and create liturgies that reflect awareness of and sensitivity to the culture and history of lesbians and gay men. As clergy search for sermon illustrations, they should include the contributions of gay men and lesbians as models of effective and visionary ministry. • Design banners, vestments, and paraments that include, as an important liturgical symbol, the pink triangle-the mark that gay men were forced to wear in Hitler's death camps for identification and that has since been adopted by gay men and lesbians as an international symbol for their heritage, oppression, and pride. • Organize study and conversation groups that include lesbians and gay men in their leadership as well as membership and that pinpoint social justice issues including gay/lesbian concerns. • Invite lesbians and gay men from Affirmation, neighboring Reconciling Congregations, local Metropolitan Community Churches, and other lesbian/gay religious groups such as Dignity (Catholic) and Integrity (Episcopalian) to participate in study, social, and worship events in your church. They should always, of course, be invited as equals, not oddities. • Provide opportunities for lesbians and gay men to tell their stories so that congregations come to know the human joy and pain experienced by lesbians and gay men. • Include correct information about homosexuality at all age levels in your church. Urge "family ministries" to include families with gay and lesbian children and lesbian and gay parents and to recognize that children who may be growing up with a feeling of "being different" need to know that being attracted to persons of the same sex is natural and OK Similarly, recognize lesbian and gay couples as equal to heterosexual couples in all aspects of the church's life. • Buy for the church library books that are positive statements about and by gay men and lesbians, review the books in the church newsletter, and encourage United Methodist Women, United Methodist Men, youth groups, et aI., to use the books for study. • Highlight in church newsletters and calendars, on bulletin boards, and in announcements during worship services events in the gay/lesbian community: Gay and Lesbian Pride Weeks, concerts by gay and lesbian choruses and bands, AIDS awareness events, etc. • Speak out against the use of derogatory language about gay men and lesbians, just as you would about racial epithets, gender put-downs, and ethnic jokes. • Remember the Holocaust and the thousands of gay men who were slaughtered by Hitler's forces alongside of Jews, gypsies, and persons with handicapping conditions. Living It Out As Christians, we recognize that keeping silence denies us all the possibility of expressing our thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be. When the concerns of lesbians and gay men are not "said out loud" in the church, when the words gay, lesbian, and homosexual are not used in positive ways in a congregation, the life and ministry of a church is distorted and fragmented. Every church needs to expand its understanding and definition of inclusiveness. The AIDS crisis poignantly and profoundly highlights how the church, the gay/lesbian community, and non-gay/lesbian persons need each other. Even when a church has made the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation, the work continues. Only through living out the decision to include gay men and lesbians in all areas of church life will the never-ending, concentric circle of inclusive life together be unbroken. 0 Viki Matson is a member ofEdgehill UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Nashville. Tennessee. and is a chaplain in a Nashville hospital. Lloyd Lewis is affiliated with West Nashville UMC in Nashville. a member ofthe Wisconsin Annual Conference. and director ofschool relations at Vanderbilt Divinity School in Nashville. Open Hands 17 SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT A Dialog e with Psalmists By Pat Floyd No despair is so deep, no anger so burning, no joy so ecstatic, but that one ofthe psalmists has lifted just such an emotion in a cry to God. o God, are we alone? Does anyone care? The psalmist testifies: o God, you have examined me and you know me. You know everything I do: from far away you understand all my thoughts. You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions. Even before I speak, you already know what I will say. You are all around me on every side; you protect me with your power. Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding. Psalm 139:1-6 But some places I have been, God, some places I may yet find myself; will you be in the hospital, in the jail, in the ghetto? The psalmist asks rather: Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Let only darkness cover me, and the light about me be night," even the darkness is not dark to you, the night is bright as the day; for darkness is as light with you. 18 Open Hands I -S USTAINI N G THE SPIRIT The psalmist affirms: How precious to me are your thoughts, 0 God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. When I awake, I am still with you. (Or, were I to come to the end, I would still be with you.) Psalm 139:7-12, 17-18 o God, how shall I survive in a hostile world? The psalmist petitions: Deliver me, 0 God, from evil ones; preserve me from violent people who plan evil things in their heart and stir up wars continually They make their tongue sharp as a serpent's, and under their lips is the poison of vipers. Let not the slanderer be established in the land; let evil hunt down the violent ones speedily! The psalmist affirms: I know that God maintains the cause of the afflicted and executes justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name: the upright shall dwell in your presence. Psalm 140: 1-3, 11-13 Open Hands 19 RESOURCES Coming Out Stories. Edited by Penelope Stanley and Susan 1. Wolfe; foreword by Adrienne Rich. Watertown, Mass.: Persephone Press, 1980. Reviewed by Judy Matthews-Taylor This book is a richly woven tapestry of the "coming out" stories of lesbian women. The stories are each individual and unique, yet the commmon strand that runs throughout is the same: the progress toward self-acceptance in spite of culture, like a giant billboard, that says you are sick, you are dirty, you are evil. The collection is important to lesbian/gay culture for several reasons. As Adrienne Rich states in the Foreword, one very important reason is that these stories, throughout most of history, have been ignored, destroyed, told as isolated accounts, or not told at all. The stories describe well the many different ways of "coming out" and remind readers of an important truth: coming out is a never-ending process for a lesbian (or a gay man) in our society. New situations always develop, new people are present, and always the pervasive larger culture is at work either assuming a person is heterosexual or labelling one with such terms as dyke and leaving the rest of the person out of the assessment. Coming out gets easier with practice, with age, with greater self-acceptance, and with a loving community. But it isn't something that is done once, with everything settled from that point on. This book reminds us all that acceptance of one's sexuality is central to spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. Over and over, the stories communicate the pain of the years of denial, the repeated attempts of a woman to relate to men sexually or to see oneself as bisexual. Then, it communicates the joy, the sense of having a great burden lifted, when a woman can acknowlege, "I am a lesbian.~ The great importance of community is a theme throughout the book. Many of the stories contain, often as a closing point, the overwhelming sense of joy in finding "home~ for the first time in women's community-in working with, growing beside, loving other women in a way that includes sexual bonding but is something larger as well. Coming Out Ston'es is a good reminder of how much people need each other, not only as partners, lovers, and spouses, but as friends and community members as well. All is not glowing accounts of having come out, finding home, and living happily ever after. Other truths are told as well: reminders that lesbians have used and hurt men along the way, that role-playing still goes on despite intellectual awareness and greater freedoms, that relationships are not magically good but require patience, commitment, and hard work to last-and that they often end, sometimes very painfully. As Adrienne Rich says in the foreword, these stories "are incomplete; some of the truths we need are not here. The telling must go on." What of the stories of lesbians who find "home" in communities that include men and the freedom that can be found there when compulsory heterosexuality is removed and women and men and are freed to relate as friends and equals? What of stories of those who stay in, or have come back to, the institutional church to love it and do battle with it? The telling must go on, and the ways of telling must evolve. But, thankfully, this wonderfully vibrant, life-filled guidebook is here to lead the way. 0 Judy Matthews-Taylor is a member of Edgehill UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Nashville, Tennessee. 20 Open Hands The Homosexualization of America, the Americanization of the Homosexual. By Dennis Altman. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1982. Reviewed by Steve Webster One begins to feel old when the histories of the times one has lived through seem outdated. Dennis Altman's book, The Homosexualization of America, copyrighted in 1982, was written before Altman was conscious of AIDS and its eventual impact on the lesbian/gay movement. Still, much of the fun of reading Altman's book is to join the author in reflecting on where gay men and lesbians have come from and where they are going. Though AIDS continues to exact a horrible toll, I came away from Altman's book sensing that the movement has continued to grow and mature since this book was published. Though Altman repeatedly demonstrates an impressive familiarity with the long (indeed ancient!) history of lesbians and gay men, his main focus is on the dozen years from the Stonewall riots of 1969 to the early 1980s. Altman, who frequently reminds the reader of his interest in Marxism and Freudianism, is particularly nostalgic for the early '70s and the more idealistic and politically radical roots of the lesbian/gay movement. The revolution Altman had hoped for in the early '70s was not the revolution that had come in the early '80s! The meaning of Altman's lengthy title is that America has become "homosexualized," while homosexuals have been "Americanized." America (by which Altman means the United States) has been profoundly influenced by the lesbian/gay movement. Lesbians and gay men have contributed to language, art, style, and social organization. On the other hand, American culture has shaped the lesbian/gay movement not only in the United States but worldwide, as the Australian and worldtraveling Altman is well qualified to observe. This "Americanization" has resulted in the extreme commercialization of the homosexual (especially gay male) community. Between 1970 and 1980, the gay male market was discovered by all sorts of businesses. In fact, the most significant meeting places in the gay community have been commercial establishments-gay bars and bathhouses. The more positive aspect of the Americanization of the lesbian/gay movement is its eventual rooting in the Western liberal democratic tradition of respect for individual privacy, individual differences, and the rights of minorities to protection from tyranny and bigotry. In one chapter entitled "Sexual Freedom and the End of Romance," Altman takes up the issue of promiscuity. With no reference to AIDS, this is the most dated chapter in the book. Thought Altman does not celebrate gay male promiscuity as have some writers in the past, he does treat promiscuity as another social trend invented by gay men. In doing so, Altman neglects the rise of Hugh Hefner's "Playboy philosophy" in the 1950s and the "sexual revolution" of the '60s which predated the rise of the gay/ lesbian movement in the early '70s. While Altman notes the importance in 1982 of bars and bathhouses as social institutions in the gay community, he also observes that "the closest there is to a grassroots national organization is the network provided by the religious groups" in the lesbian/gay community. In the five years since the appearance of Altman's book, this has become even more true. 0 Steve Webster is a member ofUniversity UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Madison, Wisconsin. RESOU R CES Coming Out Right: A Handbook for the Gay Male. By Wes Muchmore and William Hanson. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1982. Reviewed by Ron Gebhardtsbauer W ritten in the 1980s, this book purports to help gay men come out and learn about the institutions ofgay life. However, it has two major problems: (1) it is already quite out-of-date due to AIDS, and (2) it is very negative about gay life. Chapter I is entitled "Coming Out." The authors reminded me of my fears when they wrote that many gay men coming out worry that they will change radically, closing a door on all the possibilities that they once had. This is laid to rest when the authors rightfully say, "You [a gay man] won't start talking in a lisp, hating females, losing your morality, go wild over lavender, or lust for boys." I now find it very humorous that I had these fears, but they were very real to me at the time. The writers go on to say that coming out is an "extremely difficult time and not pleasant." I strongly disagreed with those assertions, as my year ofcoming out was one of the best in my life. I was saddened by the possibility that the book might scare readers back into the closet or into suicidal thoughts. This negative attitude continued as the book counseled against coming out to family, mentioning tired old rules such as "Don't tell a parent with a heart condition." The book talks about the gay bar, "the dominant social institution for homosexual men," and tells readers to "wear snugly fitting pants" and what signals to use to pick up a man in front of his lover. I found the seeming encouragement of dishonesty and absence of morality distasteful. The chapter entitled "The Gay Baths" tells one what to expect and how to act there. In the midst of much I felt was negative, I found it refreshing when the authors encouraged readers to feel good about themselves and to say no when they find themselves in something they'd rather not participate in. The book goes on to talk about "First Experience" and "First Love," mentioning all the things the authors felt a gay male should worry about. Their suggestions contrasted sharply with my own experiences, which were some of the best moments in my life. The authors did have an interesting point when they said that one's earliest erotic experiences have an imprinting effect, creating the desire to repeat the first experience again and again. That's why it is good to start out healthy. The ensuing chapters deal with 'The Older Gay Man" and 'The Gay Minorities" (in this case, meaning those into sadism and masochism, transvestism, effeminate men, and boy lovers) in a fairly negative way. When covering such other topics as employment, medical problems, recreational drug use, police, friends, roommates, lovers, looking ahead, gay men and professionals, and gay life good and bad, a more positive outlook is taken. The final chapter considers some of the positive aspects of being a gay man. Gay men, for example, are liberated to be who they really are and commonly are not frightened about sex as are many nongay men. In addition, if gay men come out, they will probably have better, supportive friends that will help out in times of need. They need not be alone. In summary, this book did not go far enough in emphasizing the positive, life-giving dimensions of being a gay man in the R on Gebhardtsbauer is a member ofChrist UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Washington, D.C. world today. Coming out has helped me to see society's injustices more clearly and to understand the effects of discrimination and thus identify with other oppressed groups. It has helped me to realize the importance and power of love, strengthened my faith, and brought me closer to God. In coming out, I understand myself better, and have purpose and renewed strength in my life to fight for what I believe in-human rights and equality. D Sex and Germs: The Politics ofAIDS By Cindy Patton. Boston: South End Press, 1985. Reviewed by Roger Kruse The emergence of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) as the planet's greatest health crisis since the Plague swept the western world has been an important, albeit unwelcome, catalyst among the gay!lesbian community to revisit the many elements of its culture. Among those elements that Cindy Patton explores in Sex and Genns: The Politics ofAIDS are the divisions that have prohibited a unified response to the disease. Those divisions, Patton asserts, "rest on unresolved political questions, not the least ofwhich are the relationships between sex and sexual liberation, between sexual liberation and other areas of liberation.~ What the AIDS crisis has provided for the gay/lesbian community is the opportunity to assert its culture by, as Patton relates, "fusing traditional civil rights and legal activism with the anarchic contradictory style of agit prop designed to subvert social restrictions." Patton explains how lessons that have been learned from other organizing experiences can be translated into effective mobilization to address AIDS and its related challenges. Patton recognizes the popular homophobic responses to AIDS and the related attempts to explain and understand AIDS from a scientific perspective. But she quickly moves beyond the mass media pulp and addresses the other mentalities that have resulted in a less-than-enthusiastic national response to AIDS. Addressing the germophobia that accompanies AIDS, Patton reminds readers that "a peculiar and scientifically incorrect cultural concept has emerged: the world is divided into us and germs." Not so. But Patton's analysis makes the reader confront the reality that has permitted government and health officials to evade the real issues surrounding AIDS. Based in large part on her own experiences as an AIDS organizer, Sex and Genns provides readers with an in-depth exploration of the many cultural aspects within the gay/lesbian community that have been affected and that will be forever perceived in a different light as a result of AIDS. AIDS has, in fact, both challenged and threatened the gay/ lesbian community. How gay men and lesbians can respond to those challenges and threats causes Patton well-founded concern. AIDS organizing, Patton writes, "brings the best of gay and lesbian organizing together with some of the movement's obstacles; the quality and direction of AIDS organizing promises to exert a major influence on the lesbian and gay community for years." Sex and Genns: The Politics of AIDS draws together key segments of gay/lesbian culture, discusses how those segments have been challenged, and then provides a clear-cut analysis of elements of the gay!lesbian community that have been most directly threatened by AIDS and the character ofthe community's response to that cultural challenge. D Roger Kruse lives in Mesa, Arizona and is a member ofthe Coordinating Committee ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Open Hands 21 ~t-~_ R_CP R_EPOR_T___ New Reconciling Congregations We celebrate the decisions of three more UM churches to become Reconciling Congregations, bringing the total number to 25. Here's a brief introduction to the new Reconciling Congregations: Trinity UMC (San Francisco) Trinity UMC celebrated its 100th birthday in 1986. Five years ago, the church building burned. Since that time, Trinity has been using the facilities of St. Francis Lutheran Church. The congregation is currently working towards a new building. Trinity has a membership of about 200. The membership is about one-third gay/lesbian and includes a wide variety of ethnic and cultural groups, though there are few children. Eight years ago, Trinity first declared its acceptance of lesbians and gay men. The church has two worship services and a mid-week potluck and discussion. The congregation is community-oriented and is currently working with other congregations in the areas of AIDS ministries (direct services and a meals program for AIDS patients), ministry to the homeless, and drug counseling. Albany UMC (Albany, California) Albany UMC may seem to be a community unlikely to become a Reconciling Congregation. Although located next to Berkeley, Albany is a more conservative town with small, older homes built in the early 1900s for blue collar-workers. The oldest church in town, dating from 1908, Albany UMC presently has about 150 members, primarily older persons. Since another nearby congregation has a large program for families, Albany focuses on ministries for single persons. The congregation is moving forward from a "survival mentality." It has an active peace and justice commission and is establishing ties with the Evangelical Methodist Church 22 Open Hands of Bolivia. The church building is used continuously by many community groups and is also home to a Korean Christian Reformed congregation. The process ofbecoming a Reconciling Congregation was precipitated by the pastor talking openly about her gay son and by welcoming a gay male couple into the congregation. St. Paul's UMC (Vacaville, California) St. Paul's UMC (located midway between Sacramento and San Francisco) is a local church with a strong commitment to social issues. The church was formed in 1959 and has a total of 125 members. The membership includes both young and old with a small number of ethnic members. The congregation is committed to feminist ministry and racial inclusiveness. A weekly Bible study is a crucial basis for the justice witness of the congregation. Ministries include peace advocacy (the church is located near Travis Air Force base), work with the county National Organization for Women chapter, and the nuclear freeze. The church has a strong lay leadership which is involved in the shaping of the worship liturgy. Several gay men and lesbians are active in the congregation. The process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation was a loving one. The congregation decided that joining the program was the only natural, honest, Bnd loving thing to do. Two New Reconciling Conferences T wo annual conferences of the UMC voted early this summer to become Reconciling Conferences. Troy (eastern New York state) and California-Nevada annual conferences affirmed the full participation of lesbians and gay men in the life oftheir annual conferences. Northern Illinois, which was the first Reconciling Conference, defeated efforts to rescind its "reconciling" decision made a year ago. The New York Annual Conference recommended the Reconciling Congregation Program to all its local churches. Related to the UM General Conference (to be held in St. Louis in May 1988), a few annual conferences proposed changes in UM church law which would be more affirming of lesbians and gay men. However, at least 18 annual conferences asked that the negative language about homosexuality in the Book of Discipline be maintained. Related to AIDS ministries, many annual conferences called on the church, nationally and locally, to be more active in service and ministry to persons with AIDS. The above information was reported in the UM publication, Newscope. The text of some of these resolutions and more analysis of annual conference actions will be included in our next issue. Affirmation Invites Membership Ifyou are not yet a member ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, you are invited to join this community. Affirmation is a churchwide, inclusive community of lesbians and gay men, bisexual and heterosexual persons who affirm the presence of all persons, regardless of affectionallsexual orientation, in the United Methodist Church. In addition to national gatherings held each spring and fall, Affirmation is active in many local or regional areas. The programs of local Affirmation groups vary but often include worship, education, social activities, or advocacy. You can join Affirmation nationally and receive the organization's newsletter by one of four means: 1) Send $20 ($10 for students/persons on fixed incomes) annual membership. 2) Register for and attend one of the ___R_CPR_EPOR_T-J~~ig semiannual national meetings. 3) Participate in Affirmation activities in your local community. 4) Request to be a member unable to make a financial commitment at this time. Your request to join Affirmation or to find out more about Affirmation activities in your area should be sent to: Affirmation P.O. Box 1021 Evanston, IL 60204 The next national meeting of Affirmation will be September 18-20 in St. Louis. The program will be "Talking about Sex-Meaning and Heali ng." RCP Video Shown in 12 Cities A new videotape, roughly edited from film shot at the Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP) convocation in March, has been previewed in 12 cities this spring and early summer. The video portrays personal stories from members of three different Reconciling Congregations and a montage of images and statements from the convocation. Response to this initial fil m product has been very positive. About 250 persons viewed the video in these 12 cities. Pledges and contributions of over $6,000.00 were given to support the video project and other work of the RCP. Viewers-clergy and lay, United Methodist and other denominations, gay/lesbian and straight-were moved by the dramatic and emotional impact of the stories portrayed. The film presents how the struggle to affirm the church's ministry with lesbians and gay men has deeply affected individual and congregational lives. With the funds raised and feedback received in these screenings, the video will be further edited for availability in September. We recommend the video as a vehicle to invite friends and colleagues to become part of the reconciling movement and to support the RCP with their financial and other resources. If you would be interested in arranging a viewing of the video in your community this fall or winter, write to the RCP, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. National March for Lesbian/Gay Rights M omentum is building across the nation for the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights on Sunday, October 11, 1987. Sponsored by a large coalition of lesbian/gay and other social justice organizations, the march will bring thousands of supporters of lesbian/ gay rights to Washington, D.C. that weekend. In addition to the march, many other activities are being planned during the weekend: a national lobbying effort with members of Congress, a concert by lesbian/gay bands from across the country, unveiling of a large quilt with the name of persons who have died from AIDS, and "The Wedding," a nonsectarian union ceremony celebrating the relationships of hundreds or thousands of same-sex couples. For more information on the march or to find out plans for your community's participation in the march, contact: National March on Washington P.O. Box 7781 Washington, DC 20044 202/783-1828 Mid-Atlantic Affirmation and Reconciling Congregations in the D.C. area will offer limited housing for Affirmation or Reconciling Congregations members who are coming to the march. For more information on such housing contact: March Committee, Mid-Atlantic Affirmation, P.O. Box 23636, Washington, DC 20026 or call Bradley Rymph at 202/554-9507. Mid-Atlantic Affirmation will be hosting a special worship service and dinner following the march and rally that Sunday. Back Issues of Open Hands O pen Hands is an excellent resource for individual or group study on lesbian/gay concerns within the church. Back issues can be ordered for $4.00 each ($3.00 for orders of 10 or more) from Open Hands, P.O. Box 23636, Washington, DC 20026. Themes of previous issues are: -Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) -Living & Dying with AIDS (Fall 1985)-no longer available -A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) -Our Families (Spring 1986) -Our Churches' Policies (Summer 1986) -Images of Healing (Fall 1986) -Homophobia and the Church (Winter 1987) -Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) Our Interdenominational Movement The Reconciling Congregation Program is only one part of a larger, interdenominational movement of local churches who publicly welcome the full participation of lesbians and gay men. Over 100 congregations in the United Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and United Church of Christ denominations are part of this movement. As a resource to congregations and individuals in ministry with lesbians and gay men, we offer a list of all the More Light (Presbyterian), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciling Congregations. We also list the contact person for each denominational program for anyone who would like to get more information on a particular program. More Light Churches (Presbyterian) NATIONAL COORDINATOR: Shirley Hinkamp 376 Baltic Street Brooklyn, NY 11201 Church of the Covenant Christ Church Presbyterian 67 Newbury Street Red Stone Campus Boston, MA 02116 Burlington, VT 05401 (continued) Open Hands 23 Rep REPORT More Light Churches (continued) First Presbyterian & Trinity Church 111 Irvington Avenue South Orange, NJ 07079 Prospect Steet Presbyterian Church 2 Prospect Street Trenton, NJ 08618 Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian Church 152 W. 66th Street New York, NY 10023 West-Park Presbyterian Church 165 W. 86th Street New York, NY 10024 lafayette Avenue Presbyterian Church 85 S. Oxford Street Brooklyn, NY 1121 7 South Presbyterian Church 343 Broadway Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522 Old South Haven Presbyterian Church South Country Road, P.O. Box 203 Brookhaven, NY 11 719 Westminster Presbyterian Church 724 Delaware Avenue Buffalo, NY 14222 North Presbyterian Church 90 Lewis Street Geneva, NY 14456 John Calvin Presbyterian Church 50 Ward Hill Road Henrietta, NY 14467 Third Presbyterian Church 4 M eigs Street Rochester, NY 14607 Downtown Presbyterian Church 121 N. Fitzhugh Street Rochester, NY 14614 Calvary St. Andrews Parish 68 Ashland Street Rochester, NY 14620 Westminster Presbyterian Church 400 I Street, SW Washington, DC 20024 Rockville Presbyterian Church 215 W . Montgomery Avenue Rockville, MD 20850 First & Franklin Presbyterian Church 210 Madison St. Baltimore, M D 21201 Waverly Presbyterian Church Old York Road at 34th Street Baltimore, MD 21218 Central Presbyterian Church 318 W. Kentucky Street Louisville, KY 40203 Northside Presbyterian Church 1679 Broadway Ann Arbor, MI 48105 Lincoln Park Presbyterian Church 600 W. Fullerton Parkway Chicago, IL 60614 McKinley Memorial Presbyterian Church 809 S. 5th Street Champaign, IL 61820 Bethany Presbyterian Church 4523 Cedar Springs Dallas, TX 75219 United University Presbyterian Church 817 W. 34th Street Los An geles, CA 90007 West Hollywood Presbyterian Church 7350 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90046 Noe Valley Ministry 1021 Sanchez Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Seventh Avenue Presbyterian Church 1329 7th Avenue San Francisco, CA 94122 First Presbyterian Church 1140 Cowper Street Palo Alto, CA 94301 Covenant Presbyterian Church 670 E. Meadow Drive Palo Alto, CA 94306 Westminster Presbyterian Church 240 Tiburon Blvd. Tiburon, CA 94920 First Presbyterian Church P.O. Box 236 Sausalito, CA 94965 St. Andrews Presbyterian Church Drake & Donahue Avenues Marin City, CA 94965 Terrace View Presbyterian Church 4700 228th Street, SW Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043 Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) NATIONAL COORDINATOR: Rose Smith 12602 Park Street Cerritos, CA 90701 Mt. Olivet Lutheran Community of Christ Church Lutheran Church Prospect at Spring Street 1812 Monroe Street, NW Shrewsbury, MA 01545 Washington, DC 20010 24 Open Hands St. Mark's Lutheran Church 1900 St. Paul Street Baltimore, MD 21218 St. Timothy Lutheran Church P.O. Box 17552 Tampa, FL 33682 Village Church 130 E. Juneau Avenue Milwaukee, WI 53202 St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Church 100 N. Oxford Street St. Paul, MN 55104 Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 2730 E. 31 st Street Minneapolis, MN 55406 Our Savior's Lutheran Church 2639 Thomas Avenue North Minneapolis, MN 55411 Grace University Lutheran Church Harvard & Delaware Streets, SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 Lutheran Campus Ministry/Minneapolis 31 7 17th Avenue, SE Minneapo lis, MN 55414 Edina Community Lutheran Church 41 13 W . 54th Street Edina, MN 55424 The Community of st. Martin 2001 Riverside Avenue Minneapolis, MN 55454 Lutheran Campus Ministry St. Cloud State University 201 4th Street S. St. Cloud, MN 56301 Christ the Mediator Lutheran Church 3100 S. Calumet Chicago, IL 60615 Maywood House Church 2219 N. Spaulding Chicago, IL 60647 Resurrection Lutheran Church 3301 N. Seminary Street Chicago, IL 60657 St. Thomas University lutheran Chapel 805 S. Shields Fort Collins, CO 80521 Lutheran Church of the Redeemer 13330 Riverside Drive Sherman Oaks, CA 91423 St. Matthew's lutheran Church 11031 Camarillo Street N. Ho llywood, CA 91602 St. John's lutheran Church 584 E. Fremont Sunnyvale, CA 94087 St. Paulus Lutheran Church 888 Turk Street San Francisco, CA 94102 St. Mark's lutheran Church 1101 O 'Farrell Street San Francisco, CA 94109 St. Francis Lutheran Church 152 Church Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Christ Church Lutheran 1090 Quintara Street San Francisco, CA 94116 First United Lutheran Church 6555 Geary Blvd. San Francisco, CA 94121 University Lutheran Church 1611 Stanford Avenue Palo Alto, CA 94036 St. Paul's Lutheran Church 1658 Excelsior Avenue Oakland, CA 94602 Lutheran Peace Fellowship 4100 Mountain Blvd. Oakland, CA 94619 University Lutheran Chapel 2425 College Avenue Berkeley, CA 94704 Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 1550 M eridian Road San Jose, CA 95125 Fullness of God Lutheran Church Holden Village Chelan, WA 98816 Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) NATIONAL COORDINATOR: Ann Day P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 First Congregation Riverside Salem Church Church, UCC Box 207 165 Main Street Grand Island, NY 14072 Amherst, MA 01002 Church of the Covenant Amherst Community 67 Newbury Street Church Boston, MA 02116 77 Washington Highway Church of the United Snyder, NY 14226 Community 116 Roxbury Street Roxbury, MA 02119 First Congregational Riverside Church Church 490 Riverside Drive 945 G Street, NW New York, NY 10027 Washington, DC 20001 Grace United Church of Christ 3285 Cleveland-Massillon Road Norton, OH 44203 First Congregational Church of MN 500 8th Avenue, SE Minneapolis, MN 55414 Wellington Avenue UCC 615 Wellington Avenue Chi cago, IL 60657 Altadena Congregational Church 943 East Altadena Drive Altadena, CA 91001 La Mesa Community Church 230 Lighthouse Road Santa Barbara, CA 93109 First Congregational Church Alameda, CA 94501 Peace United Church of Christ 777 Oakland Avenue Oakland, CA 94611 College Avenue Congregational Church 1341 College Avenue Modesto, CA 95350 Reconciling Congregations Washington Square UMC c/o Don Himpel 135 W . 4th Street New York, NY 10012 Park Slope UMC c/o Beth Bentley 6th Avenue & 8th Street Brooklyn, NY 11 215 Calvary UMC c/o Chip Coffman 815 S. 48th Street Philadelphia, PA 19143 Dumbarton UMC c/o Ann Thompson Cook 3133 Dumbarton Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20007 Christ UMC c/o John Hannay 4th and I Streets, SW Washington, DC 20024 St. John's UMC c/o Howard Nash 2705 St. Paul Street Baltimore, MD 21218 Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC c/o Sally Daniel 575 Boulevard, SE Atlanta, GA 30312 Edgehill UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman 1502 Edgehill Avenue Nashville, TN 37212 Central UMC c/o Chuck Larson 701 W. Central at Scottwood Toledo, OH 43610 University UMC 1127 University Avenue c/o Steve Webster Madison, WI 53715 Wesley UMC c/o Tim Tennant-Jayne Marquette at Grant Streets Minneapolis, MN 55403 Wheadon UMC c/o Carol Larson 2212 Rid ge Avenue Evanston, I L 60201 Albany Park UMC c/o Ted Luis, Sr. 31 00 W . Wilson Avenue Chicago, IL 60625 Irving Park UMC c/o David Foster 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Kairos UMC c/o Richard Vogel 6015 M cGee Kansas City, M O 641 13 St. Paul's UMC c/o George Christie 1615 Ogden Street Denver, CO 80218 Wesley UMC c/o Patty Orlando 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Fresno, CA 93710 Bethany UMC c/o Kim Smith 1268 Sanchez Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Trinity UMC c/o Arron Auger 152 Church Street San Francisco, CA 94122 Albany UMC c/o Jim Scurlock 980 Stannage Albany, CA 94706 Trinity UMC c/o Elli Norris 23 20 Dana Street Berkeley, CA 94704 Sunnyhills UMC c/o Cliveden Chew Haas 335 Dixon Road Milpitas, CA 95035 St. Paul's UMC c/o Dianne L. Grimard 101 West Street Vacaville, CA 95688 Wallingford UMC c/o Chuck Richards 2115 N. 42nd Street Seattle, WA 98103 Capitol Hill UMC c/o Mary Dougherty 128 Sixteenth Street East Seattle, WA 98112 Reconciling Conferences California-Nevada Troy (eastern New York Northern Illinois state) Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 3 No 1 - A Community Emerging