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&lt;p&gt;This is one of eighteen stoles made by an group of LGBT Lutheran college students in NY; sixteen are members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) and two belong to the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS), a far more conservative branch of American Lutheranism.  All eighteen stoles have been patterned identically out of rainbow colored felt; each has a first name in block letters on one panel, and either "ELCA" or "LCMS," and "NY" on the second panel.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The eighteen students represented by these stoles came to know each other by meeting at an ecumenical event, and they decided to keep meeting together informally.  The students were particularly concerned with providing support for one of their two new LCMS friends.  Although this young man was not "out" to anyone outside the group, he had been mercilessly abused by his family and his church on the mere suspicion that he was gay, and he feared for his life.  Almost all of the other students are "out," but instead of simply trying to push their friend out of the closet, out of his church or away from his family, they chose instead to "sit with him," to be patient, offer their friendship and support, share in Bible study, and provide a listening ear until the young man's fears subsided and he could "find his own way."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;These stoles were given to me when I directed a display of stoles at the Tang Museum on the campus of Skidmore College in 2001.  One of the ELCA students drove to Saratoga Springs, NY to deliver the stoles and tell me their story.  As an act of solidarity with their one friend, all eighteen chose to put only their first names on the stoles.  The student who delivered the stoles talked with me for quite awhile, but he, too, chose to tell me only his first name and he left no contact information.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Although I don't know these students beyond the bit that they chose to share with me, I am touched by their story and impressed with the bond of faith and friendship they have formed.  When I asked how their friend was doing, the student smiled and said, "He's getting his spiritual life back."  And, he added, "He has changed our lives, too."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;The eighteen students represented by these stoles came to know each other by meeting at an ecumenical event, and they decided to keep meeting together informally.  The students were particularly concerned with providing support for one of their two new LCMS friends.  Although this young man was not "out" to anyone outside the group, he had been mercilessly abused by his family and his church on the mere suspicion that he was gay, and he feared for his life.  Almost all of the other students are "out," but instead of simply trying to push their friend out of the closet, out of his church or away from his family, they chose instead to "sit with him," to be patient, offer their friendship and support, share in Bible study, and provide a listening ear until the young man's fears subsided and he could "find his own way."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;These stoles were given to me when I directed a display of stoles at the Tang Museum on the campus of Skidmore College in 2001.  One of the ELCA students drove to Saratoga Springs, NY to deliver the stoles and tell me their story.  As an act of solidarity with their one friend, all eighteen chose to put only their first names on the stoles.  The student who delivered the stoles talked with me for quite awhile, but he, too, chose to tell me only his first name and he left no contact information.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Although I don't know these students beyond the bit that they chose to share with me, I am touched by their story and impressed with the bond of faith and friendship they have formed.  When I asked how their friend was doing, the student smiled and said, "He's getting his spiritual life back."  And, he added, "He has changed our lives, too."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;This is one of eighteen stoles made by an group of LGBT Lutheran college students in NY; sixteen are members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) and two belong to the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS), a far more conservative branch of American Lutheranism.  All eighteen stoles have been patterned identically out of rainbow colored felt; each has a first name in block letters on one panel, and either "ELCA" or "LCMS," and "NY" on the second panel.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The eighteen students represented by these stoles came to know each other by meeting at an ecumenical event, and they decided to keep meeting together informally.  The students were particularly concerned with providing support for one of their two new LCMS friends.  Although this young man was not "out" to anyone outside the group, he had been mercilessly abused by his family and his church on the mere suspicion that he was gay, and he feared for his life.  Almost all of the other students are "out," but instead of simply trying to push their friend out of the closet, out of his church or away from his family, they chose instead to "sit with him," to be patient, offer their friendship and support, share in Bible study, and provide a listening ear until the young man's fears subsided and he could "find his own way."&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This is one of about thirty stoles donated by First Presbyterian Church of Palo Alto.  First Palo Alto, a More Light congregation, has for decades been on the forefront of the movement for full inclusion of LGBT persons into the life and leadership of the church and greater society.  Among the many leaders of the movement who have come from this congregation is Mitzi Henderson, former national President of PFLAG and national Co-Moderator of More Light Presbyterians. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Elder Ann Davis&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;and&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Member Catherine Mahaday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Married in a Service of Holy Union&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;September 30, 1995&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Northside Presbyterian Church&lt;br /&gt;Ann Arbor, Michigan&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;The debate around marriage equality has been as contentious in the Presbyterian denomination as it has every other church.  Through several pieces of legislation, the General Assembly has offered a split decision, adamantly defending a pastor's right to pray over whomever they will -- thus allowing for the blessing of a commitment service -- while outlawing any attempt to equate a commitment service to a "wedding" or referring to it as a "marriage."  Nevertheless, Ann Davis' identification as an Elder here makes a bold statement.  Ordination of "self-avowed, practicing homosexuals" is banned in the PC(USA); one can be ordained if one vows to remain celibate.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The current complexity of Presbyterian law, and the conundrums raised by subsequent court decisions, has left governing bodies in a patently ridiculous place: A pastor can bless a couple's commitment to each other, but a governing body cannot infer sexual contact from that blessing.  If, then, someone would wish to challenge Ann's ordination, they would have to come right out and ask, "Do you, or don't you?"&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;It is my fervent prayer that someday the Presbyterian Church -- and all other denominations -- will be far more interested in our faith and our service to God than they are in the minute details of our private lives.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;A gift from&lt;br /&gt;The Rev. Doug Huneke&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Representing 40 Years as Ordained Elders:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Robert E. Clover&lt;br /&gt;Paul G. Schwendener&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Westminster Presbyterian Church&lt;br /&gt;Tiburon, California&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Doug Huneke is a great friend and fierce ally of LGBT folk.  Pastor of a More Light congregation and active in the Welcoming movement for decades, Doug contributed this stole to honor two ordained elders, both gay men, in gratitude for their long and faithful service to God and the Presbyterian Church.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This stole was one of the original 80 stoles that were on display on Sept. 16, 1995 when I set aside my ordination before Heartland Presbytery (see stole #1 for details).&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;(Note: A signature stole is one that is covered with the signatures of both gay and straight members of a congregation, denominational governing body, or other organization.  These stoles serve the dual purpose of showing support for LGBT persons, while also protecting their anonymity by including their names as "one among many".)&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; This is one of the first Signature Stoles, which was created in advance of the 1996 General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA).  Information as to when or where the stole was created has been lost.  The names contained on the stole do not have any commonality beyond the Presbyterian denomination.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="Editor"&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;In 1997, North Decatur Church donated about a dozen stoles to the collection.  A few stoles honored members of the church, a few more were Signature Stoles from the congregation.  The final few stoles were made to honor LGBT persons known to the church (although not necessarily members there) who serve the Presbyterian Church in silence.  Tommy Pritchard is a graduate of Columbia Theological Seminary.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;We know nothing about the honoree or donor of this stole.  It arrived along with about 30 stoles from Rutgers Church in New York, but had no accompanying note.  Something about it, though, has touched people over the years.  Its simplicity -- a cross cut from braided string, a cut-out moon and sequin stars on black cloth -- and the few words written so carefully in silver ink, have stopped many people and made them ask of me, "What can you tell me about Jamie?"  We have no answer to the question -- it remains in the the air, and leaves a sadness.  The church's forced silence has left us with one more story -- one more person -- that we will never know.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Established in 1798 in lower Manhattan, Rutgers has a long history of involvement in social justice and community development issues.  Rutgers is a More Light congregation, working for the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life and leadership of the Presbyterian Church.  Along with More Light Presbyterians, Rutgers is a sponsor of Presbyterian Welcome (an affiliate of That All May Freely Serve) and the Covenant Network in their common pursuit for the end of discrimination against LGBT persons in the Presbyterian Church.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt; This is one of fifteen stoles from members, elders, deacons, and pastoral staff at West Hollywood Presbyterian Church (WHPC).&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;West Hollywood Presbyterian Church is a historical icon in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community as well as the Welcoming Congregations movement.  WHPC was at the forefront of the civil rights movement in Los Angeles and in the early 1960's began to close each service by singing the civil rights anthem "We Shall Overcome" - a tradition that continues to this day.  As early as 1964 (five years before the Stonewall rebellion), West Hollywood Presbyterian Church hosted what is believed to be the first openly Gay Men's "Rap" Group in the city of Los Angeles and the church began to minister to the spiritual needs of the Gay &amp;amp; Lesbian community who had been drawn by its message of inclusiveness. Soon nationally known spiritual author Chris Glaser would launch "The Lazarus Project" at WHPC - A program to advocate for Gay &amp;amp; Lesbian spiritual and human rights.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In October of 1984, WHPC called an openly gay man, the Reverend Dan Smith, to serve as its pastor. Dan continues to be the only minister in the country serving a Presbyterian congregation who went through the entire call and installation process as an "out" gay man.  While proudly continuing its tradition of progressive spirituality and activism, this multi-cultural congregation feeds approximately 4,000 hungry and homeless people each year, builds homes for economically-challenged families under the "Habitat for Humanity" program, offers an HIV Spiritual Support Group, provides a "Children's Church" program and continues to openly take stands on political issues involving civil rights. West Hollywood Presbyterian also claims to espouse a theology that is "perhaps the most pro-feminist in Los Angeles."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dan&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Raised a Presbyterian.&lt;br /&gt;When the Nominating Committee of his Kansas City church proposed him for elder, homophobic persons mounted a telephone campaign and defeated him with a floor nominee.  Dan was later ordained Deacon in another Presbyterian congregation.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This is one of twelve stoles donated by Merrill Proudfoot in honor of friends and colleagues.  Dan and Merrill both attended Roanoke Presbyterian Church in Kansas City, MO. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Roanoke was for many years very supportive of LGBT folk and counted many among their members and leadership.  This changed rapidly when a new, conservative pastor arrived and aggressively initiated a number of actions that created an openly hostile environment for the LGBT members who were still active in the church.  This activity reached a climax when Dan was nominated to be ordained an elder.  A small group in the congregation mounted an ugly, hate-filled phone campaign to have Dan defeated and replaced by a last-minute nominee.  Although their campaign was successful, the bitter fight surrounding this action split the church.  Dan left, and all of the other LGBT members, including Merrill, soon followed. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Roanoke was located in the heart of a young, progressive, gay-friendly neighborhood in Kansas City, and was just down the road from the Kansas City campus of the University of Kansas.  Sadly, this church, which once had a bright future, with the opportunity to be in mission to a large unchurched population, soon gained a decidedly negative reputation in the area.  The church is now closed.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;To my seminary friends who are serving in silence,  I love you. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Peace,&lt;br /&gt;Marilyn Nash &lt;br /&gt;1998&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;McCormick Seminary&lt;br /&gt;Chicago&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Over the years I made a number of trips to McCormick Theological Seminary, my alma mater.  With a longstanding commitment to diversity, McCormick is the only historically Euro-centric seminary in the Presbyterian denomination in which Whites are now in the minority.  This commitment to diversity has made McCormick a relatively safe place for LGBT students over the years, but that same diverse student body -- with large numbers of Koreans, African-Americans, native Africans and Hispanics  from a wide range of countries and religious backgrounds -- has kept the conversation lively around LGBT issues.  Some students have used these opportunities to come out and tell their stories; others have found it more difficult to do so in such an intense and intimate environment.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In 1998, Marilyn Nash invited me to bring stole to McCormick for the service at which she would be preaching her Senior Sermon.  Marilyn, who was "out" and an active leader in the local LGBT movement, had experienced open hostility from a couple of students that year, and she felt it important to have both the public statement and the support of the stoles surrounding her.  She received this, along with overwhelming support of the seminary community itself.  The chapel was packed for her service, with students and faculty from all walks of life sitting on the floor or standing in every available foot of space and spilling out into the entryway. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Marilyn was aware that she was further along in her personal journey than a few other LGBT students who remained closeted, and that she was able to provide a strong voice on their behalf.  These few students were able to acknowledge that they were grateful for this gift, and for Marilyn's strength and courage.  This stole is a part of that gift, as Marilyn gracefully honored her beloved friends who were "serving in silence."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Robert J. Moore&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I grew up in the Presbyterian Church, graduated at the top of my class, and served parishes for 13 years.  But I also had a shameful secret.  I struggled with my sexuality for 48 years before actually being able to accept myself for who I am.  Looking back, I can see that this needless struggle came about only because of misinformation I received from my faith tradition.  Even when I knew it wasn't true, it took years to undo the damage.  In 1990, I retired from Church work, so I could continue my struggle in a more supportive environment, and because I had by that time been diagnosed with HIV, and the Church did not feel like a safe place to be, no matter what the outcome of my personal struggle.  Today, I continue my ministry with children and their families by working as a school social worker.  I give my time to the Church whenever I can, and wherever it is welcome.  When I think about the Church's erroneous teaching, and its impact on lives like mine, all I can say is "What a waste!"&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Robert's story is such a poignant example of the church's infliction of pain and violence on LGBT persons.  Robert, like so many others, spent a lifetime undoing the damage done through the church's abuse.  As if to rub salt in the wound, following his AIDS diagnosis he determined that the church, the first place he should be able to turn for support, was actually the least safe place he could imagine.  Robert left the pastorate and now ministers outside the bounds of the church as a school social worker.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The last line of Robert's story speaks volumes: "When I think about the Church's erroneous teaching, and its impact on lives like mine, all I can say is 'What a waste!'"&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This stole is displayed to the Glory of God in memory of &lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Jocelyn Hasty and Rachel Jennings&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;life-long friends, housemates, Churchwomen and Deacons in the Presbyterian Church&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Jo was a life-long member of a small Presbyterian church in Minnesota when she died.  In preparing her funeral, I learned she had never married and had no children and very few relatives.  At her burial I was told Jo was being buried next to her parents and Rachel, her longtime friend and companion, with whom she had lived and served the church for over 40 years.  -- her pastor&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;"Jocelyn Hasty" and "Rachel Jennings" are chosen pseudonyms for two life-long companions who had served as ordained Deacons in the Presbyterian Church for many years.  The pastor came to know "Jo" before she died.  Born in an era when two women would have referred to themselves as "companions" rather than "partners," certainly wouldn't have labeled themselves as lesbian, and wouldn't have talked openly about it one way or another, this pastor was savvy enough to create a safe space in which the nature of their relationship could be made clear.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Jeanine Dorfman&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;An "out" lesbian in the ordination process, who is being denied ordination.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I pray that this evil will end soon.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;On Jan. 1, 1996, I took one of the earliest displays of stoles to St. Luke Presbyterian Church in Wayzata, MN.  St. Luke was one of the first benefactors of the Shower of Stoles Project (see stole #131 for details).  Jeanine's mother, Carrie Dorfman, is a member of St. Luke.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;During the service, Jeanine's stole was laid on the communion table along with two large photos of Jeanine, one of her as an infant and the other taken recently of Jeanine wearing her stole, standing near a shoreline in upstate New York.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Just before the sermon, Carrie was invited to come forward and take a moment to talk about Jeanine's stole.  Carrie talked about the stole, and about the injustice of her daughter's having been denied ordination.  Finally, in tears, she took the picture of Jeanine wearing her stole, held it up over her head and said, "She should be a minister!  She should be wearing this stole!," and then she broke down sobbing.  Rev. Bill Chadwick, one of St. Luke's co-pastors, came over and held her for a few moments, and then accompanied Carrie to her seat.  Bill set aside his sermon notes; instead he returned to the communion table and said, "Sometimes the best words spoken are no words at all.  Let's just sit in silence for awhile."  And so we sat in silence -- a long, weighty silence broken only by the sound of quiet weeping throughout the room.  It was, as one parishioner said later, "the most powerful sermon I've ever heard."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;With a longstanding commitment to diversity, McCormick is the only historically Euro-centric seminary in the Presbyterian denomination in which Whites are now in the minority.  This commitment to diversity has made McCormick a relatively safe place for LGBT students over the years, but that same diverse student body -- with large numbers of Koreans, African-Americans, native Africans and Hispanics  from a wide range of countries and religious backgrounds -- has kept the conversation lively around LGBT issues.  Some students have used these opportunities to come out and tell their stories; others have found it more difficult to do so in such an intense and intimate environment.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In 1998, Marilyn Nash invited me to bring stoles to McCormick for the service at which she would be preaching her Senior Sermon.  Marilyn, who was "out" and an active leader in the local LGBT movement, had experienced open hostility from a couple of students that year, and she felt it important to have both the public statement and the support of the stoles surrounding her.  She received this, along with overwhelming support of the seminary community itself.  The chapel was packed for her service, with students and faculty from all walks of life sitting on the floor or standing in every available foot of space and spilling out into the entryway. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;A talented artist and worship designer, Marilyn returned to school to pursue a doctorate in Liturgical Arts.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p class="Editor"&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;I grew up in a small country Presbyterian church in Athens, Ohio where both of my parents, two sisters and myself were all baptized&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;During the time of my life that I struggled with my identity as a lesbian I drifted away from the church because of my struggle  When I returned to my home base, I went to speak with the new minister of the church where I grew up, and he was able to help me accept myself for who I am and to see that God is welcoming to everyone who love and serve Him.  After speaking with the minister I again knew the Creator who through love draws the circle which brings humankind in and that it is not our role  to say who shall be left out.  I again became involved, by beginning a youth group, special music, custodian, my partner and I taught Bible school and special activities.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;When the nomination for new elders began the committee asked if I would serve as an elder.  My answer was yes, I would be honored to serve the Lord and the church.  Several members of the church approached our Interim Pastor questioning my lifestyle, and because of that I was asked to withdraw from nomination and those members said that the church would not support me to be an elder&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My family is no longer involved at that church and have all found other churches.  My partner and I have been welcomed to a [new] church.  We have been welcomed to the church for what we have to offer which is leadership and spirituality.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Our vision for the church is to help work towards all persons being able to freely serve by educating, witnessing, spirituality, and leadership.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;What a sense of betrayal Teresa Lyons experienced in her church!  After struggling to integrate her spirituality and sexuality, it was the pastor of her home church that helped her to accept herself and to know that she is loved by God.  She and her partner committed themselves to serving God and the church in many ways; their leadership was welcomed by the congregation.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;That "welcome" changed, however, when she was nominated to be ordained as an Elder.  Suddenly her "lifestyle" was more important than her deep faith and call to leadership in the church.  This congregation's ignorance, abetted by a change in pastoral leadership, cost them dearly as Teresa's entire family moved on to other churches.  Fortunately, all have found a place of welcome elsewhere.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Arial;"&gt;ANONYMOUS&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Arial;"&gt;ELDER&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I was raised in the Presbyterian Church - the First Presbyterian Church of Wheaton, Illinois. I went to Sunday school and sang in the youth choir. I have amazing memories of touring &lt;!--?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /--&gt;Europe with the teen choir. I can still hear our voices echoing in cathedrals. I can still see the tear-streaked faces in the standing room only crowd at our concert in a Yugoslavian church, and I can still taste the tears we shed with them. My brother sang, too, and my parents were there - they chaperoned the trip.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My Grandma was and is a Southern Baptist. She worries about everything, and she prays about everything. I've always figured that if one day passes that I forget to pray, well, she's got me covered. She has been a subtle, yet profound influence on my life.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I went to a small Lutheran college, and was involved in the college congregation, so I like to think that my roots are Presbyterian, Baptist and Lutheran. During my junior year of college, Pastor Benson called me into his office for a chat. He asked me if I had ever considered going to seminary, and that perhaps I should. Well, it had maybe crossed my mind a bit. I said I'd give it some thought but...&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;You see, it was during that same year, my junior year of college that I realized I was gay.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I never went back to talk with Pastor Benson about it again. It was easier not to have the conversation with him that was going on in my head...&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;"No, see, Pastor Benson, I really can't consider it. You see I can't tell you why I can't consider it. You see, I could consider it... well I would consider it if I wasn't.... well, maybe I will consider it if I can figure out whether or not I'm... You see, they don't let pastors be pastors if they're gay. You see, I don't think churches really even want gay people in them. You see, I can't be gay, because if I'm gay, I can't belong to a church. Or I could belong to a church, but I just can't ever tell anyone...&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The message I had received loudly and definitely from the church and society was that I wasn't welcome.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;It was the first time I experienced a thought that love for me might be conditional.  I was raised by a family and a church to believe that love is unconditional.  God's love is unconditional.  "For God so loved the world that God gave his only begotten son, that whosoever... "With God, all things are possible."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Enter the asterisk next to these Bible verses.  Whosoever, except  All things are possible, except...&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;God's love for me suddenly seemed conditional.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The result of these thoughts? For ten years following college, I didn't attend church. After attending church my entire life, I just left. I finally decided that my relationship with God could he good - just God and me.  That would have to do.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;That didn't work either. My faith was there, but it was empty and distant. I had no faith family to share it with, and I had no outlet through which to serve. I thought about visiting churches, but somehow the idea of attending and remaining anonymous sitting somewhere near the back because I couldn’t tell any of them about myself didn't seem very appealing.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I eventually heard about a couple of gay churches in town, but I wanted to go to a church that's more representative of the world I live in. I want to go to a church that's a bit like the church I grew up in.  I’m not a fan of segregation.  I just want the whole gay issue to be a non-issue, and all the religious conflict and infighting to be resolved so we can all focus all of our efforts on other issues and people that really need our work.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I have a lot of friends who are still turned off by church. I tell them about St. Luke and churches like it, but most don't want to hear about church. Just like me, they’ve gotten the message loud and clear: Churches don't want us. It's tough to undo the damage. They've been driven away from the church, just as I was.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;These messages don't just exclude, and they don't just drive people away from church; such messages drive people away from the love of God.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Is this what the church intends to do?  It is what's happening.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I celebrate the fact that I was able to rediscover my church home. I celebrate the fact that places like St. Luke exist.  I wish I had known of St. Luke and other More Light churches 10 years ago.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I wonder if I'd still be welcome at the First Presbyterian Church in Wheaton, Illinois.  I hope I would, but I don't know.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;You cannot know how deeply I truly appreciate the opportunity to serve as an Elder at St. Luke.  To be asked to serve in a leadership role, when ten years ago I thought I wouldn't even be welcome in the building... The opportunity to lead and serve is incredibly precious and humbling.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;To hold hands with my church family and to sing Amen at the end of each service takes me back to the safe place in the church choir loft that I felt as a teenager.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I pray for the eventual, inevitable day when we will have inclusive policies everywhere in every institution. I pray for the day when all God's children know that God's love truly is unconditional, that with God all things truly are possible, and that they too can join hands and sing amen.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Will our church hasten that day and proclaim God's love for all people?  Or will it continue to drive people away from the love of God?&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This was the last stole left of the ones I wore during my days in ordained ministry.  I gave it to her on the occasion of her own ordination as an Elder at St. Luke Presbyterian Church in &lt;!--?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /--&gt;Wayzata, MN, in gratitude for her friendship and all that she has done for the Shower of Stoles Project.&lt;/p&gt;
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&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;This stole represents the love and respect that many have for closeted gay and lesbian people. In my (closeted) ministry, I have known people who felt that way about me without knowing that I am gay. Many of those were verbally opposed to a fully inclusive church, yet embraced (the closeted) me as a pastor and friend.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;When I finally realized that it took more energy to keep a secret than I could endure, I walked away from parish ministry. I still work within a congregation, but not in a called position. I am active in presbytery and currently serve as Moderator of the Advisory Committee of the Presbyterian Hunger Program for the PC(USA). I have been a small group leader at Montreat Youth Conference and have led countless youth mission trips. I was a good pastor.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This stole honors the love that is given to closeted pastors who are called to ministry with youth and their families, and I pray for the day when all who are called may freely serve!&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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