52 20 2479 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/810a3bab3aecfe1df1ff75ec3634fc36.pdf bd4c7ca8e607469bbe061e9e837cb16d Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 13 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 13 No. 1 Summer 1997 2 Open Hands Vol. 13 No. 1 Summer 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. CREATING SANCTUARY: All Youth Welcome Here! YOUTH SPEAK OUT! Harassed at Age Twelve 4 TIMOTHY JONES-YELVINGTON A teen reflects on the harassment he received two years ago and the school’s refusal to protect him. Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected 6 EDITOR Jamie Nabozny wins nearly a million dollar settlement from Wisconsin schools for their failure to protect him. My Sanctuary 7 SERENITY BEALL A lesbian teen reflects on the meaning of “sanctuary” in her life. My “Aunt Sue” 8 JEREMY MCCOY A teen with two lesbian moms shares the importance of his relationship with his second mom. Out of the Mouth...of a Teen 9 MARSHA STEVENS A lesbian mom shares two stories about her daughter’s wisdom. Two Schools, Two Approaches 10 NATASHA FAST, WITH MEGAN FAST A teen reflects on her schools’ approaches to gay and lesbian students’ need for support groups. The College Network 12 MONICA HAINES A college student leads discussion after an anti-gay forum. Does It Matter? 13 ANONYMOUS A teen writes poetically of his experiences. Summer 1997 3 NEXT ISSUE: From Womb to Table: Baptism and Communion Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Consultants Trey Hall James Preston Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC SELECTED RESOURCES 26 ML PHOTO DISPLAY 27 WELCOMING COMMUNITIES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 CREATING SAFE SPACE A Call to Affirm Sexual Minority Youth 14 HAROLD M. BROCKUS A pastor in Florida shares his church’s journey. Learning about Jesus 16 TREY HALL A student intern explores how we might reframe our understanding of evangelism with queer youth. Young, Gay, Dead: Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers 19 YOUTHA C. HARDMAN-CROMWELL An RCP board member proposes five suggestions for helping youth choose life. My Son Mitchell 20 TERI SHUGART ERICKSON A mother shares the story of her different son. From Fear to Advocacy 23 SARAH M. REED Another mother traces her journey after her fifteen year old son was diagnosed as HIV+. Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church? 24 JOHN HOFFMAN Reflecting on Bernstein’s Mass, a public school educator ponders on the lack of sanctuary for gays and lesbians. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “Home” 25 TIMOTHY C. MCGINLEY “Can we gather here for refuge from the strife?” ASIDES Bill of Rights for Youth .................. 5 VIRGINIA URIBE Prayer .......................................... 8 NATALIE COOK Prayer ........................................ 10 LILLIANA RAMIREZ MoSAIC ..................................... 11 Hetrick-Martin Institute ............... 11 Gay/Lesbian National Hotline ...... 12 BRAD BECKER Biblical Affirmations for Teens ..... 17 MARY JO OSTERMAN Common Errors and Clichés ........ 18 MELANY G. BURRILL Youth Suicide Incidence .............. 19 HETRICK-MARTIN INSTITUTE Children’s Sabbath Reading ........ 22 CRYSTAL SPRINGS UMC 4 Open Hands I was walking home from school alone on a mild January day when I noticed a boy walking the same direction on the other side of the street. I’d never seen him before, so I ignored him and kept walking. Before long, he crossed the street and began walking alongside me. Though his presence made me nervous, I paid no attention to him until he spoke. “Do you know someone named Stewart?” he said. “Yes,” I said reluctantly, unsure why he was asking the question. Before I knew it, I was lying on the ground, dazed, and the boy was gone. I had been beaten up on the way home from school. I’m not sure how long I laid there before I finally got up and walked the remaining four blocks home. The hurt went deeper than my bruises. Only a few weeks earlier, I’d had my arm broken by a kid in my gym class while we were playing volleyball. I’ve never liked volleyball, or any team sport for that matter. Throughout the class period, the kid kept insulting me and others, screaming at anyone who didn’t play well. Finally, my pent-up anger from being laughed at, harassed, and constantly degraded by this boy and others came out. I tried to kick the boy. He grabbed my leg and performed some sort of karate- style flip that left me on the ground with a fractured elbow. I was in the seventh grade— only 12 years old. I’d been attending the New Jersey school where this incident happened for two years. During that time, I was the constant butt of other students’ jokes and was repeatedly harassed. Kids labeled me “a girl” and “gay” and “a fag” simply because of my interest in performing, especially in dance, and my disinterest in the commonly accepted pastime for boys—competitive team sports. Most days I controlled my anger, but every once in awhile I couldn’t take the Harassed at Age Twelve By Timothy Jones-Yelvington insults any longer. After a few angry responses, my reputation as an “unstable person with an unpredictable temper” spread quickly, and the namecalling began. Other students called me everything from “Tempro-tazm” to “Timinator.” Teachers, school administrators, and my fellow students made me feel as though the abuse was my fault. “Ignore them,” I was told, or “Tell them they’re hurting your feelings, but don’t hit them.” The one time I tried telling someone she was hurting my feelings, the girl laughed in my face and made a mocking imitation of what I had said. A week earlier, this girl had made fun of me for what I was reading. When I made no response to her insult, she had walked away smugly saying to a friend, “I love annoying Tim. It’s so much fun.” But she wasn’t just annoying me. Her words were slowly and painfully making me feel inferior to her. They were making me question myself and my goal of becoming a dancer. Being Mean Is Unnatural Making someone feel that low, that degraded, shouldn’t be fun. Kids should not harass other kids for enjoyment. Being so mean is not natural, normal behavior for children— despite those who say “boys will be boys” or “kids can be so cruel.” A “normal” kid doesn’t decide a boy is homosexual simply because he is a dancer or a girl because she plays sports rather than house. A normal kid probably isn’t even sure what it means to be homosexual, and if he or she does, the kid doesn’t automatically hate people because of their sexual orientation. To quote a song from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical South Pacific: “They have to be taught, carefully taught, to hate.” Our society must be a pretty good teacher that so many kids in one New Jersey town— a town with a reputation YOUTH SPEAK OUT Summer 1997 5 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 for topnotch schools—could be so vicious. The school was oblivious to the violence. Counselors, teachers, and administrators told me, “Toughen up. Kids are mean, so learn to live with it. Life is hard.” Why should we learn to live with violence? It shouldn’t be the accepted norm, but rather something we hate and work to eliminate. Finding a Positive Environment After getting beat up and having my arm broken, I was forced to move to an independent school in New York City. The public school refused to reprimand the kid who broke my arm unless I was also reprimanded. Since the beating occurred off school grounds, school officials refused to assume any responsibility. I’m much happier now. I’m in an environment that works to dispel violence rather than accept it as something with which we must live. We have retreats and programs on embracing diversity, and our Internet contract requires us to agree not to access or input racist, sexist, or homophobic material. A school-sponsored support group for gay and lesbian parents models acceptance of all people as created by God. Being so mean is not natural, normal behavior for children— despite those who say “boys will be boys” or “kids can be so cruel.” I’m doing well, enjoying school and dancing, but there are other kids who are not so lucky as to have a grandmother who can and will pay independent- school tuition and a supportive mom. Our public education system and our society is failing them. These kids face daily harassment. Some are not as emotionally strong as I was. They may allow the insults to A Bill of Rights for All Youth According to Dr. Virginia Uribe, Director of Project Ten, every young person should be entitled to: ✘ Attend school and other youth programs free of verbal and physical harassment ✘ Have enforced a standard of respect and dignity for all ✘ Have access to accurate information, free of negative judgment, delivered by trained adults who both inform and affirm all youth ✘ Have positive role models available in person, in school curricula, and in program implementation ✘ Be included in support programs that help them deal with the difficulties of adolescence and find their way to self-acceptance. Source: Ann Thompson Cook and Wayne Pawlowski, “Youth and Homosexuality,” Issue Paper #3, Respect All Youth Project, PFLAG, 1991. Adapted from Virginia Uribe, Project Ten Handbook. cut even deeper than I did. Many will emerge as angry, bitter adults or as insecure people who can never be happy. Stopping Harassment We need to stop harassment based on perceived sexual orientation and gender stereotyping. We need to fight this violence—both the emotional and physical violence—wherever we can in our homes, our communities, and our churches. We need to see where kids are being hurt, and we need to be there for those kids. Most importantly, we need to be aware of the pain so many experience, and we need to educate others to it. We need to stop teaching hate and start building a just, peaceful world.▼ Timothy Jones-Yelvington, age 14, will be in the 10th grade at Elisabeth Irwin High School in Greenwich Village, New York City, in the fall of 1997. He is a student at the School of American Ballet in Lincoln Center. He is a self-avowed, practicing United Methodist. 6 Open Hands Jamie Nabozny—now 21 years old— suffered years of physical and verbal harassment while attending middle school and high school in Ashland, Wisconsin. Until recently, students like Jamie had little or no recourse— and certainly few if any legal precedents— to demand equal treatment under the law. However, in July 1996 the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund won the “first federal appellate lawsuit challenging anti-gay violence in the schools.” With Lambda’s help and thanks to the decision of the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, Jamie won the right to sue his school for the abuse and harassment he suffered while a student in Ashland schools. According to Lambda, “The court ruled that public schools, and school officials as individuals, may have to pay monetary damages for failing to address studenton- student anti-gay abuse. Jamie’s initial victory is meaningful to other students because the court found it unacceptable to respond to anti-gay abuse by saying ‘boys will be boys’ or by saying that these students should expect abuse because they are gay.” Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected Sources Kurt Chandler, “A Reluctant Hero,” The Advocate (28 May 1996), pp. 29-34; A Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund fundraising letter and attached letter by Jamie Nabozny, October 1996; and Patricia M. Logue, “Near $1 Million Settlement Raises Standard for Protection of Gay Youth,” The Lambda UpDate (Winter 1997), pp. 1, 8. The Outcome Among other things, the appellate court found that “The Equal Protection Clause does…require the state to treat each person with equal regard, as having equal worth, regardless of his or her status.” Lambda UpDate writer Patricia Logue details the outcome of the November 1996 trial: Seven Midwestern jurors “found Jamie’s public school principals during middle school and high school were liable to him for violating his constitutional right to equal protection from harm by repeatedly refusing to come to his aid when he was beat up in school for being gay.” Soon after the jury verdict, the two sides agreed on a “nearly $1 million settlement, a figure further punctuating the message that there is a high price to pay for ignoring abuse of lesbian and gay students.” In Jamie’s Own Words “D ay after day, I was called derogatory names and pinched and kicked, coming home with bruises…. There were so many incidents that I can’t remember them all. But I’ll never forget some of the worst. In seventh grade, after my teacher left the classroom for a short time, two boys pinned me to the floor for several minutes and pretended to rape me. The rest of the class just watched and laughed. In the ninth grade, two boys pushed me into the urinal and pissed on me. One of my teachers called me a ‘fag’ and threw me out of his class. In tenth grade, ten boys trapped me in a hallway and one wearing cowboy boots kicked me in the stomach so hard and so many times that I had to be hospitalized with internal bleeding…. “Despite promises from the school, none of my harassers was ever suspended, expelled, or kept at a safe distance. School officials treated me like I was the problem. Worse than that, I started to feel like I was the problem…. “Even as the school tried to isolate me from the other kids, the harassment intensified. I attempted suicide three times during high school because of the abuse and was hospitalized each time…. “I sued the school district because of its total failure to protect me…. The trial court ruled against me, and my case would have ended there if Lambda hadn’t filed an appeal on my behalf….” —Editor Summer 1997 7 What is sanctuary? For many queer* youth, “sanctuary” carries a very negative connotation. It refers to a safety and protection that many of us cannot find within the church environment. As a younger child I was very spiritual, believing in the spirit and guidance of something great within all of us as humans and as beings. I remember growing up using prayers for the protection of myself and others as a bedtime ritual. Meditation even entered my life at the age of ten, and I began to read the Course in Miracles, thinking it would give me a path to finding myself. All of this did encourage my coming out of the closet as a lesbian at age fourteen, but as I came out, I began to lose faith in organized religion. I went through two years of a very draining questioning process. Constantly, thoughts of suicide would plague my mind. To think that I could possibly be seen as completely different from everyone else was a horror I had never encountered and never thought possible. I decided I was going to lead a miserable life as a straight woman, constantly lying to myself and others about how happy I was. I would grow up with boyfriends and eventually have a husband because at least then I wouldn’t have to deal with odd looks and possible legal struggles. I desperately wanted to have kids so I, of course, would have to be with a man. I was, and am, a very affectionate person. Dating had always been something I wanted to explore, but of course there were no gays my age. I wouldn’t be able to get a date until I was at least twenty. So why not just go out with men and pretend it’s fun? Hey, it’s some sort of affection, right? All of these false concepts and hypotheses ran through my mind day in and day out. Finally, I decided to figure out whether I was really queer or not. I turned to the Unity church in my home town because that is where my parents attended and I was told that it was a very liberal church. The youth My Sanctuary By Serenity Beall group was wonderful because I could be myself there without having to tell anyone what was going on inside me. I could explore my bounds on a so-called vision quest and I could test my belief in their view of god. I began to grow more accustomed to the idea of “queerness” entering my life. That youth group even provided me with an experimental boyfriend. I would ask myself every time I went out with him, whether I really felt comfortable or not. I even began to believe I was comfortable just because of my constant jabbering about him in my head. Yet, at the Melissa Etheridge concert that I dragged my boyfriend to I felt truly proud of who I was for the first time. I wanted to replace that guy in my head with a woman. When I finally told him a week later that I was pretty sure I was a lesbian, he told me that he was pretty sure that he was not straight either. Thus my questioning ended and a period of coming out of the closet began. I came out to my close relatives rather quickly because I knew that my uncle was gay and they would most likely have no problem with it. Shortly after that, my extended family and my friends came to find out how I was. Now it was time for church. I felt that I would be immediately accepted there because of the new age philosophy and the liberal nature of things. But this was only partially true. I found a few adults who sponsored the younger youth group who accepted me completely. In them I found an understanding and acceptance I hadn’t found before. It was a whole different matter when I moved to the high school youth group. Every time I brought up my nature, the subject was quickly redirected. I felt like an outcast with every pair of eyes either averted from me or staring intensely at me. I soon discovered that the minister had refused to marry a lesbian couple and even refused permission to the assistant minister to marry them. I decided that organized religion was not for me and I left the church, rarely going to sermons or youth group meetings. It is difficult to find sanctuary in church because there are so many boundaries that a queer youth must break through just to gain acceptance. Yet acceptance is only a first step for a church and congregation. To say that someone is acceptable merely means that he or she is approved and satisfactory. It also carries the thought that there is something to be accepted. In a truly open and affirming church there needs to be not only acceptance but also love and admiration. The doors must not only be open to their presence, but also to their ceremony and prayer. One step further would be genderless sermons and an absence of assumptions based on sexual orientation and sexual identity. That would be the ideal sanctuary for me and many of my friends. Until I find a church like the one I have just painted, I will continue to make nature and meditation my sanctuary. For there I know I am protected and understood. There isn’t a tree in the world that cares how long my hair is and who I will love.▼ Editor’s Note *Queer is an all-encompassing, positive word often used by youth and young adults in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered community, as well as by many others. Serenity Beall is a 16-year-old lesbian living in Boulder, Colorado. She is very involved in the queer community and is helping her mother and stepfather start an open and affirming church called Unity Circle of Longmont in Colorado. 8 Open Hands Throughout my growing up years, she was known as Aunt Sue. Some of my earliest memories involve experiences with her. She has become one of the most special and inspirational people in my life. From my asking her to marry me at about age five to our Super Bowl parties on the couch in my junior high days, she has always shared in the great, as well as the not so great, times in my life. She and my mother have had a very special relationship for as long as I can remember. From what I assume, Sue was the shoulder my mom cried on through my parents’ divorce. At that time Sue was out of state, so they spent a lot of time on the phone and paid each other numerous visits during the weekends. Occasionally my sister and I would travel along. For me, these trips were some of the most memorable of my life. We would spend the days swimming, playing pool, and numerous other unforgettable activities. This went on for about two years, during which time it became very clear that the relationship between my mom and Sue was changing quite a bit. I wasn’t really surprised that cold winter evening when they “came out of the closet” to my sister and me. I guess it was just eased into so much and we had enough warning signs to know what was going on. It wasn’t easy, just like any time a stepparent enters the picture. Sue’s expectations and demands were different from ones we had encountered previously. I’m not completely sure the transition is complete yet. However, I do believe that we have come as close to a “normal” family as any other family. The foundation of any family is love, and I can honestly say that I love Sue. It makes no difference to me whether Sue is of blood relation to me; the point is that we have built a family. I doubt that there are two people My “Aunt Sue” By Jeremy McCoy “When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite.” –William Blake in this world who love and care for my sister and me as much as my moms. Unfortunately, the hardest part of this transition had nothing to do with my family. The hardest part was to decide who was “safe” or “unsafe” to tell about my family configuration. A lot of people still view homosexuals as subhuman or evil. It is hard for some people to accept what they are not, but most often it is what they don’t know that causes their hatred. I have been fortunate enough to become acquainted with many gay and lesbian people in my community and church and amongst my peers. Gay and lesbian people share the same hopes and dreams that straight people have. They are looking to better themselves, to find love, and to find happiness just like you and me. However, when many people picture a homosexual individual they see a crazed person who is only interested in hitting on them. This portrait would be like believing that, just because a few white people murder, all white people are murderers. It is just not the way it is. Until people have the chance to become acquainted with a non-stereotypical homosexual, they will never understand this. No two people are alike. For this I would hope everyone is thankful. Picture a world where everyone is the same, especially a world where everyone is just like you. Depressing isn’t it? We all want to be judged by our character content, not by the things that we have no control over. Whether it be a physical or mental handicap, skin color, or sexual orientation, we still want to be viewed and treated on an even plane with everyone else. It is my belief that when we see each other as one of “us” and celebrate each person’s diversity the groundwork will be laid for world peace.▼ Jeremy McCoy and his sister and his two moms attend Findlay Street Christian Church in Seattle, Washington. God, help me to realize that it doesn’t matter what clothes people wear, how they cut their hair, or what color their skin is. We are all the same in your eyes, and with this awareness your children can move forward as a family. Discrimination deprives people of not only their civil rights but their human dignity. To overcome the evil challenges of our life we must turn to Christ, the good news of Jesus. Everyone deserves the love that you taught us to give to each other. I guess I am petitioning you not to miraculously solve a problem but to allow for an individual understanding of the violation against you and your word that blatant prejudice and discrimination commit. —Nakela Cook John Carroll High School, Birmingham, Alabama Source Reprinted from Dreams Alive: Prayers by Teenagers. Edited by Carol Koch. Saint Mary’s Press, Winona, MN, 1991. Used by permission of publisher. All rights reserved. Jeremy with his mother Arlene (left) and his “other mother” Susan Summer 1997 9 Sometimes “a little child shall lead them” comes true even in the wilderness. I have always loathed the times someone has fixed me with a doleful stare and said, “How do your children deal with your lifestyle?” My knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Better than you do, obviously.” Clearly these people are seeing my life as a tragedy, particularly one foisted upon my innocent offspring. But far more often, my kids are the ones to keep me on track and grounded in reality. Two times come to mind with my daughter. Once as a young teenager, she asked if a boy she liked could attend a family function. I told her this was an event where I did not want to have to be careful not to call my lover “dear” or avoid holding hands. She looked mildly incredulous. “Is that the only reason he can’t come?” I said it was. Not a minute later she was Out of the Mouth…of a Teen By Marsha Stevens back, telephone in hand, “OK, he knows you’re a lesbian. Now can he come?” Flabbergasted, I asked how he had received this news. Now, she was exasperated. “Mom, he would care if I was gay!” Another time I had been approached to have the story of my coming out condensed and included in someone else’s book. I told my daughter about the request and expressed my concern that, since the book had a particularly inflammatory title, it might get back to her— especially since she still attended a Christian school. She nodded. Yes, this was true. “Well,” I pursued, “I’m afraid that might be embarrassing for you.” It might, she conceded. I said, “Honey, I need a little better answer than that. I need to get back to this woman with an answer.” Now, for some reason I didn’t quite see coming, I had her attention. “You didn’t give her an answer, Mom? What are you gonna say? ‘No, I won’t tell you what Jesus has done in my life’?” Out of the mouths of—well, even teenagers— come paths of clarity out of the wilderness. No, gay mother, you are not the center of the universe. And, yes, Mom, you are called to give an answer to anyone who asks, to give a reason for the hope that is within you—still.▼ Marsha Stevens was active in ministry for many years in mainstream contemporary Christian music, recording for Maranatha!, Word, Light/Lexicon, and EMI. She is best known, perhaps, for her song “For Those Tears I Died (Come to the Water).” Since coming out sixteen years ago, she writes and sings for the gay and lesbian Christian community. AD 10 Open Hands During my freshman year I attended a large public school in Chicago that draws students from all over the city. These kids form a very diverse student body, encompassing many ethnic backgrounds, different cultures, and viewpoints. This has been both a blessing and a curse for the school. It is wonderful for students to have a place where almost anyone can find a place to fit in. However, the diversity there can create tension as well. Since I transferred out two years ago, some major changes have taken place at my old school. My Old School Two years ago, a lesbian student decided to start a group for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students. Rumors had been going around school about her sexuality for a long time and she wanted to start a club where she and others could be open and not worry about being ridiculed. She followed the normal procedures for starting a club, and gave her request to the administration. Most clubs take about a week to become officially recognized by the school. However, this club took about six months. During this time they called themselves a support group. They met and discussed issues that gay and lesbian students face, but they did not have many activities. Although they were not an officially recognized club, they did Two Schools, Two Approaches By Natasha Fast, with Megan Fast have three faculty sponsors: two school counselors and an English teacher. The students’ first request for their group was denied. However, they asked the principal to reconsider and they circulated petitions for students to show their support for the club. At first, many students were reluctant to sign. Many said that they did not approve of the gay/lesbian/bisexual lifestyle and others were afraid that if they signed people would assume that they were gay. The club members argued that although not all students practiced or approved of all the religions that had special clubs, these clubs were allowed to exist. After much hard work by the students, over 200 signature were collected. The club now has about twenty members and meets once or twice a week. They often bring guest speakers to their meetings. A lawyer spoke with them about laws concerning hate crimes. Many reporters come to their meetings because it is rare for a public school to have a gay and lesbian club. My Current School I have spent my sophomore and junior years at another public school, but one with quite a different atmosphere. The Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy (IMSA) is the only public boarding high school in Illinois. Because it is a boarding school, it differs from other high schools in many ways. Students have a lot more freedom to express views and do things that their parents and home communities might not like. I found IMSA to be much more accepting of gay and lesbian students than my previous high school. It is not uncommon to see students cross-dressing at IMSA, a practice that would have been considered unacceptable, both by the school administration and the students, at my old school. Because IMSA is a residential high school, the school has to deal with the social lives of students much more. For example, at IMSA we have something called intervisitations. In order for a student to be in a wing for students of the opposite sex, she must obtain an intervisitation (popularly called interviz) pass from the residential counselor. There are also special interviz rules: students must keep the door propped at a ninety degree angle; students can’t be lying down; they must have all the lights on and be fully clothed. Last year, several meetings were held to discuss the possibility of having same-sex intervizes. Many straight students complained that it was unfair to restrict heterosexual sexual behavior, while homosexual students were free to do as they wished behind closed doors. Technically, any sort of sexual behavior by students while they are on campus is against the rules. However, some say that the rules are biased against heterosexual couples. Instituting same-sex intervizes had many problems. Obviously, interviz rules can not be in effect whenever two students are in a room together. The question then became how to decide when a same-sex interviz is necessary. Asking every student about their sexual orientation was out of the question. The final decision was to consider same-sex intervizes on a case by case basis. This past year was the first year that IMSA had a club for gay and lesbian students. It is called Spectrum. Unlike the club at my old school, Spectrum is not a haven for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who feel rejected by many of Dear God, When I see the pain and suffering surrounding me, I feel trapped, wanting nothing more than to escape. Please God, Give me the strength, every day of my life, to face my troubles up front and to help others when they are in need of it. May you stay with me every day of my life, God. Source Reprinted from Dreams Alive: Prayers by Teenagers. Edited by Carol Koch. Saint Mary’s Press, Winona, MN, 1991. Used by permission of publisher. All rights reserved. —Lilliana Ramirez Saint Augustine Religious Education, Culver City, California Summer 1997 11 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 123456789012345678901 their peers. Because IMSA’s students are so much more open-minded, the club is more a social organization than a way for students to find support. During this past year, Spectrum has held many activities. They have sponsored movie nights and publicized gay and lesbian history month around the school. The club is also starting a reading group. Next year, they hope to hold a film series, a dance, and activities for national coming out day (11 October). They also hope to bring in speakers from the occupations that the members are interested in, to speak about what it is like to be gay or lesbian in that field. Although IMSA may have a very open-minded student body, it depends on the state legislature for its funding. This means that many political issues get played out in IMSA’s policies. For example, Spectrum recently wanted to take a group of students into Chicago to go shopping at stores that cater to gays and lesbians. Their request to take a van was denied because the trip would “put IMSA in the position of endorsing or appearing to endorse a particular lifestyle.” It is unfortunate that IMSA must worry about how to best meet the needs of its students while conforming to the state’s political agendas. However, for me, it has been wonderful to find a place where kids can explore their sexualities without pressure from their family and with support from their friends.▼ Natasha Fast currently attends the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, where she is about to start her senior year. She is on the soccer team and the swim team. She is also a member of the Reconciling Congregation Program’s Youth and Young Adult Task Force. Megan Fast plays soccer and volleyball. She enjoys travel and camping. She will be a freshman next year. She collaborated on and helped research this article. MoSAIC Methodist Students for an All-Inclusive Church Established in May 1996 by a group of concerned college and university students, MoSAIC seeks to dismantle the ecclesial systems of oppression against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered peoples in order to bring about the inclusive justice of God’s vision. The group publishes Tapestry, a quarterly newsletter mailed to all Reconciling United Methodist students and Campus Ministries. In the second issue of Tapestry, MoSAIC co-chair Trey Hall notes, “We must continue to struggle with a ‘revolutionary patience,’ refusing to relinquish our vision of hope that one day all people may be liberated. The centrality of our faith as a reconciling people is that we can live together amidst our differences, that because of the different hues, shapes, and textures of our individual threads and experiences, we can fully celebrate the way that God fashions our diversity and simultaneously weaves us into one tapestry.” For more information, contact: MoSAIC, Reconciling Congregation Program, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641-3007. 773/736-5526. The Hetrick-Martin Institute Founded in 1979, the Hetrick-Martin Institute (HMI) is a not-for-profit social service, education, and advocacy organization. HMI serves lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender youth, homeless youth, youth with HIV, and all youth coming to terms with their sexuality. It reaches youth in New York City and is accessible from New Jersey and Connecticut. Case management and consultation service are offered nationwide. HMI serves more than 7,000 youth each year through a broad range of services, including counseling, an after-school Drop- In Center, the Harvey Milk School, training services for both youth and professionals, Project First Step for homeless youth, and the National Advocacy Coalition on Youth and Sexual Orientation. Many more youth are reached over the phone by counselors and on the streets by outreach workers. For more information, contact Hetrick-Martin Institute, 2 Astor Place, New York, NY 10003-6998. 212/674- 2400. AD 12 Open Hands 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 1234567890123456789012 The man, who identified himself as an ex-gay—someone who had turned from the “sin” of homosexuality— spoke of God speaking to him and of being given the choice of either dying from AIDS or turning away from being gay. This was to a room of 400-500 people as well as to the community via the college radio broadcast system. I sat there among some friends, in shock and disbelief— concerned that those who heard believed every word he said, believed that was what being gay was about. He spoke about the gay bars and the “seediness” of it. That wasn’t what my life was about and I didn’t want people to think that’s what all of us beautiful people were about After this chapel presentation, I had asked the speakers to stay and join us in a panel discussion that I had organized in order to combat the messages that were given. Instead of staying, they, along with the campus pastor, left, speedily— and I began to cry. I was so overwhelmed, so terrified, so afraid, that those who believed their message wouldn’t stay. I believed that was everyone. However, a majority of people stayed for the discussion and it was a The College Network By Monica Haines good one. It started off with two professors speaking, one who formerly was a Southern Baptist preacher and the other who leads Prejudice Reduction Workshops. At first, the discussion was angry, Bibles were pulled out, and everyone was proving each other right or wrong. Then the stories came. People told of their sorrows and joys, their thoughts and their concerns. They shared their experiences. It was the first time that a majority of the campus community had had a discussion about homosexuality. Fortunately, I had the resources within and the support around me to organize a response to these actions. Others on other campuses aren’t so lucky. At Goshen College, students were dumbstruck as they came to the campus center and found that the “Opinion Board,” which had many discussion papers on homosexuality, was burned— destroyed— in an attempt to “shut them up.” But it did not work; they kept on meeting, discussing, organizing. They were not silenced. In Iowa, a female student has no problem being accepted as a lesbian, but she feels she has no one to turn to and talk with about being a Christian. These are reasons why we have The College Network (TCN). TCN gives gay, lesbian, and bisexual young people opportunities to share their experiences and find support as they come out to family, friends, and their communities. TCN also provides alumni/ae of Brethren and Mennonite colleges, parents, and friends with opportunities to actively support these young people. TCN currently has an e-mail network, which provides a safe space to share experiences and thoughts on the college campus or in the community. You can tell your own story. About being young and being gay. About being a parent and seeing your child struggle or suffer. About being a friend who Gay & Lesbian National Hotline By Brad Becker The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline (GLNH) was started from an idea of six people two years ago after the Gay & Lesbian Pride March in New York City. It was felt that there were vast areas of the country that did not have access to a local switchboard or hotline for information and peer-counseling. Where a local switchboard did exist, many times the hours and services were erratic. After a year of planning, the GLNH opened on 1 October 1996. In the seven months since, our all-volunteer organization has answered thousands of calls for help. We provide information and referrals for local cities across the country. We maintain the largest resource list of its kind in the world, with over 15,000 local referrals in our database. We also provide anonymous and free peer-counseling. A large percentage of our calls are received from teens who are questioning their sexuality. Many callers have never knowingly spoken with a gay or lesbian person before. Our volunteers are trained in effective listening techniques so we can help a caller begin to focus on their many feelings. We also integrate safer-sex information at the same time. TO CONTACT GLNH 1-888-THE-GLNH (M-F eves. 6-11 p.m. eastern) e-mail: glnh@glnh.org www site: www.glnh.org Brad Becker is exective director of GLNH. didn’t understand why your friend dropped out of school, was kicked out of the dorm, or committed suicide. TCN welcomes individuals with or without e-mail to join our mailing list.▼ If you would like to participate in The College Network, contact Monica Haines at PO Box 2696, Auburn AL 36831-2696, 334/821-8041, mooream@mail.auburn.edu. Summer 1997 13 My father asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I said yes. He said, get out of my life. I guess it mattered. My boss asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I told him yes. He said, you’re fired, faggot. I guess it mattered. My friend asked if I am gay. I asked, Does it matter? He said no, not really. I said yes. He said, don’t call me your friend. I guess it mattered. My lover asked, Do you love me? I asked, Does it matter? He said yes. I told him, “I love you.” He said, let me hold you in my arms. My God asked, Do you love yourself? I asked, Does it matter? He said yes. I said, how can I love myself? I am gay. He said, that is what I made you. Nothing again will ever matter. Source This poem is reprinted with permission from Voice of the Turtle (Winter 1997), a publication of American Baptists Concerned. Does It Matter? 14 Open Hands For us it was life imitating scripture: God calls; we respond. We did not find or seek our ten-yearold ministry with sexual minority youth; the ministry found us. Looking back, we see that it was and remains a call from God. It began in 1985 when a Good Samaritan Church member called the pastor to ask for help with gay and lesbian adolescents. The mission committee and the Session authorized a decent Reformed Tradition study in the community. The research revealed an alarming level of stress and suicide among adolescents. More alarming was the utter lack of support for teens struggling with issues of sexual orientation. The study task force asked human service organizations in the county to respond. One offered counseling slots; all others declined. Letters were sent to 235 mainline churches in the county. Not one responded. Calls to churches and pastors known for their justice ministries elicited “too hot to handle” responses. Answering a Call With reluctance and a sense of inadequacy, the Session voted in January 1987 to begin a support ministry for gay and lesbian adolescents, the first in the metropolitan Tampa Bay area which has a population exceeding one million. The new ministry was presented to the congregation in a series followed by feedback meetings led by Session members. Members of the church shared stories, from their own life experiences, about family members and friends who had suffered the ravages of homophobia. Good Samaritan was not well-suited to develop this particular ministry. The church closet and the “don’t ask, don’t tell” tradition of mainline churches have left us isolated and ignorant of the A Call to Affirm Sexual Minority Youth By Harold M. Brockus experiences of brothers and sisters who are gay, bisexual, and transgendered. However, a long-term pastorate, a history of risky ventures in community organization and ministry, and a variety of conflicts had fortified the church for its new covenant in spite of dogged resistance in the church and community. A ministry board of mental health professionals and gay and lesbian activists was recruited to work with designated church members in managing this non-sectarian ministry under the Session. We publicized the first support meeting in May 1987 through an ad in a gay weekly and by word of mouth. The two adult advisors pulled up folding chairs under the church oak tree when it was time to start the first gathering. Several cars packed with young people circled the church slowly. Finally one car pulled in, parked, and unloaded. Others followed. True Expressions was launched. The ministry has prospered, has added a second weekly program for gay, lesbian, and bisexual young adults, has been a model for other new groups in the state of Florida, and has provided training for mental health professionals in the community. Hearing the Testimonies It’s been a painful, exciting, and transforming journey. Some 400 young people have participated. Personal testimonies abound. David, a young adult participating in the youth group remarks: “True Expressions is a way to talk about what I really feel outside of parental attempts to put heterosexual influence in my life. True Expressions has done wonders!” Shaun, another regular attendee, acknowledges that “True Expressions has provided a place away from the bar scene to meet other gay people dealing with issues like I am dealing with.” Jim W., a young man CREATING SAFE SPACE Summer 1997 15 involved with the board of the organization allows that “True Expressions is a place where I can go for unconditional support.” Ministering to our Own The church is in a strategic position to minister to sexual minority youth. We have a tradition of youth ministry, the facilities, and staff to serve. We are not vulnerable to the vicious and homophobic accusation (as gay groups are) of “recruiting” youth—presumably to become gay. More importantly we are a covenant community called to embrace the outcast and the stranger. Fulfilling that call in ministry to sexual minority youth means facing our own demons as well as those in church and society. Of course, it is a call to minister to our own. These young people are our children and grandchildren. They are family. They are at risk. Their cries fill the night. Their tears fall silent in the closets of our fears. God help us to hear, see, and respond with compassion.▼ Harold M. Brockus, M.Div., D.Min., combines a dual career as pastor (over 25 years) of Good Samaritan Church (a joint More Light Presbyterian and ONA United Church of Christ congregation) in Pinellas Park, Florida, and as an organization development consultant on staff at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida. 16 Open Hands To say that this parent, along with the overwhelming majority of parents and other laity and clergy in our churches, is homophobic is concurrently to simplify and under-articulate the issue. Homophobia is the fear and hatred of those who sexually love members of their own gender. Much of the time with youth, it is an internal fear, insecurity, and frequent self-loathing of one’s entire being. How else do you explain a fear that causes most youth to wait until their college-age years or beyond, when they can leave their family and church, to deal with their sexuality? How else do you explain a fear that leads parents to inundate a pastor’s office with calls and faxes when the mere word “gay” or “lesbian” is mentioned in a discussion? Learning about Jesus By Trey Hall Reframing our understanding of evangelism with queer youth “So, how could you bring up homosexual people in your Sunday school class?” a parent asked, outraged at the issues her daughter had talked about openly at the family lunch earlier that afternoon. “Well, I didn’t bring it up. One of the youth mentioned gay and lesbian people in the course of our discussion. But, don’t you think that our group should engage in a more formal discussion about sexuality?” “No!” the parent gasped. “This is church!” “If the church isn’t an appropriate place for an honest and candid discussion, I don’t know what is. Staggering numbers of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth are confused about themselves, especially about how their sexual feelings mesh with their religious and spiritual beliefs.” “But what if your discussion encourages some of them to ‘explore’ themselves to the point that they begin to wonder if they are homosexual?” “Then they will be at a point that many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people don’t reach until much later in life, if they ever reach it.” “I don’t want my daughter to be a homosexual.” Frustrated, the woman walked out of my office. How else do you explain a fear that provokes other youth to act coldly and indifferently to a newcomer rumored to be lesbian or gay? Youth Realities Justin* was the first gay youth I ever met. I was leading a winter conference retreat for several youth in the mountains of Nevada. When I arrived to the retreat center amidst a crowd of youth eager to begin the program, I saw Justin notice the small rainbow ribbon tied to the zipper of my backpack. Later that night, as I was preparing for the next day’s activities, Justin appeared, “unable to sleep.” He asked me about my ribbon, and I explained that it was a symbol of solidarity and pride for lesbian, gay, and bisexual folks. My explanation began a wellspring of questions. Justin came out to me, the first “church person” (as he called me) with whom he had felt comfortable discussing his sexuality. He told me of his mother, a Christian educator in a large Southwestern church, who despite her years of training and experience, would not deal with the fact that her son is gay. He told me of his circle of friends, both at church and at school, that would never again speak to him if they knew his “secret.” It was an experience of grace and pain for both of us, as I understood too fully his grief. A year and a half later, I answered the phone at the Reconciling Congregation Program, where I serve as campus intern. After my greeting, I expected a typical question—only to wait in silence for a response. “Hello?” I asked twice. And then a frail and sobbing voice spoke: “Can you help me? My parents found my journal and threw me out because I’m a lesbian. I’ve called my minister and he won’t have anything to do with me. He told me to come back only when I’ve given up my lifestyle. I have nowhere to go.” I listened to Anne*, a sixteen-year-old youth from Texas, and tried to help by giving her the numbers of a crisis support line and some supportive pastors in her area. I wish Anne was the only youth I know who has been disowned because of her sexual orientation. Homophobia, sometimes known only by statistics, scholarly definitions or institutional attitudes, becomes a story of pain and hatred experienced by too many youth. Summer 1997 17 In my college summers as a youth director, I have met many youth who I believe are lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Most are reluctant to share with the group anything personal about themselves, for fear that even a subtle question or gesture would reveal their feelings and align them with constant slandering and gossip. So when Jason* asked in the middle of our senior high Sunday school discussion, “Trey, what do you think about gay and lesbian people?” he put himself at risk. He mentioned words that could brand him a “queer” or “faggot- lover” in the eyes of the youth group, his treasured community of friends and faith. Natural Sex? The ensuing class discussion, in which we talked about the realities of gay and lesbian people in society, caused five parents to show up at the next day’s staff meeting. I began to review the youth programming agenda and informed the pastor that the youth group would, at its request, begin a fall study series on human sexuality, which would include material on homosexuality. The parents objected immediately, their planned reaction summed up by a nominated spokesperson: “We don’t want our children to be subjected to learning about such things. That kind of sex just isn’t natural!” “But what is natural sex, Mr. Turner*? Only sex between a male and a female? Well, rape fits that definition; it’s between a male and female. Is that natural? My aunt, who’s an emergency room nurse, tells me stories of little girls brought in for medical treatment because their stomachs are full of ejaculate or because their vaginas have been ripped apart by an adult man’s penis. Is that natural sex?” “Oh, you mean sex between mutually consenting adults, man and woman. Will you then want to clarify the type of sex between consenting adult males and females that is normal? Must it be one woman and one man, or can it be two men and one woman? Must it be strictly the missionary position, man on top? Vaginal only, or will you allow oral sex, too? Must there be love for sex to be normal, or is a marriage license enough? Someone, please tell me what is natural sex?” I could see the parents blushing. “Obviously,” Mr. Turner retorted quickly, “this is not a youth issue. This is not even an adult issue for church. We need to learn about Jesus.” I laughed inside as I remembered that it was talking about Jesus and his teachings that invited Jason to ask about gay and lesbian people. Jesus’ Message The parents’ concerns accurately represent the “hush-hush” polemic of the institutional church today. The problem lies with a trite and superficial view of evangelism and a limited and parochial understanding of God’s righteousness and justice. Youth groups and churches are afraid to invite youth of all sexual orientations to their group. Christian educators are satisfied using curricula whose heterocentric biases ignore the struggles of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. In order to counteract the homophobia and erotophobia that silence so many youth, we must reframe our understanding of the Gospel. Take for example the scandal that confronts us each day as gay and lesbian youth face rejection and abuse in all areas of their lives. We know that, ethically, this abuse is wrong. The question then becomes “What can we do about it?” We know that long-term programming must be considered, ranging from education to community involvement. But the disciple knows that God’s righteousness is more ➟ Biblical Affirmations for Teens—And All of Us! 1. “God honored us long ago by making us heirs without regard for our differences.” (Galatians 3:28-29) 2. “You are called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom for self-indulgence. Live so that the gifts of the Spirit are visible in and through you.” (Galatians 5:13, 16) 3. “I will praise you, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You have made me as I am; and I am your child.” (Psalm 139:13-14) 4. “Practicing radical hospitality is perhaps one of the best ways that we heirs of God can give ourselves unreservedly in obedience to God.” (Genesis 18-19) 5. “Jesus did not agree with the whole Levitical premise of exclusive holiness. It did not fit with his understanding of who God is or how God wants people to relate to each other.” (Leviticus 18:22; Luke 10:25-37) 6. “Good News! God—who has the power to accept or reject—accepts and reconciles with all of us.” (2 Corinthians 5:18) 7. “What is to be our response? As God’s gentile heirs, we are to be new creations in Christ. We are to engage in reconciling ministries with each other.” (2 Corinthians 5:18) Source Mary Jo Osterman, Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality (Chicago: Reconciling Congregation Program, 1997), pp. 12, 13, 19, 32, 38, and 41. The quotes are reflections on the biblical passages cited. 18 Open Hands Common Errors and Clichés By Melany G. Burrill Three Errors Made by Well-Meaning People That Put More Pressure on Youth ✘ Using exclusively heterocentric models of relationships in discussions, teaching/ learning settings, and examples; using “opposite sex” as the love object. ✘ Assuming sexual orientation means sexual activity. (If a young person self-identifies as lesbigay, what else could that mean but that they are sexually active?) ✘ Being non-inclusive in use of the term “family”; that is, Family = Mother + Father + Children. Three Things NOT to Say to LesBiGay Youth ✘ “It’s just a phase.” ✘ “You’re too young to know for sure.” ✘ “You can’t know for sure if you’ve never had sex.” These common errors and clichés close options in the minds of lesbigay adolescents. Persons can recognize their sexual orientation without being sexually active. And, if the world around youth is painted as so different from the ways they know themselves to be, they feel alienated and alone. By conscientiously using inclusive examples of relationships and families, we can help lesbigay youth perceive the world as one that includes them. Melany Burrill leads sexuality education events in churches for youth and parents. A Christian educator by training and background, her talents are currently being used in corporate crisis management. offended here and now by the suffering of these youth, and that God’s justice demands that they be welcomed, here and now. The answer of the disciple cannot be, “Christ, when did we see you a stranger?” It can only be “Christ, forgive us for what we do not do.” If our communal relationship with the God of righteousness and justice is to have any integrity at all, we must act in a proactive participation of applying that righteousness and justice. Pastors must make themselves available for counseling to local youth shelters. Churches must host support groups for lesbigay youth, invite lesbigay people to address the youth, and explore what it means to be in ministry with, not for, lesbigay youth. Lest we forget our call, deliberate and prophetic planning and action must occur to welcome all youth, regardless. The church must, to use Mr. Turner’s words, “learn about Jesus.” If we are to understand the purpose of our discipleship, we must never forget that the weight of Jesus’ message is inclusive, not exclusive. No one is excluded from the love of God in Christ. To follow the One who has called us to discipleship, therefore, requires more than churchy politeness. Mentioning the words “gay” and “lesbian” in a Sunday school context is not enough. We must love and invite the whole world, to the point of losing our lives, of risking funding, “reputation,” or some members of our congregation and youth group, for the sake of all God’s ones, whoever they may be. We must react to the church’s perpetuation of sinful tepidity with a holy audacity. If Jesus so loved the whole world as to dwell in it and die because of it; if the Spirit so loves the world as to live with the lesbian teenager who has been thrown out of her home, with the gay child beaten up at school, with the youth whose pastor says “Don’t come back”—then we who seek after the justice and righteousness of God must love everyone and act with everyone, knowing them as God’s family, knowing them as our neighbor.▼ Note *All names have been changed except the author’s. Trey Hall serves as campus intern at the Reconciling Congregation Program and as national co-secretary for MoSAIC (see p. 11). This fall he will begin studies at Candler School of Theology toward a master of divinity degree. AD Summer 1997 19 Suicide rates among adolescents are on the increase. Six thousand teen suicides occur yearly. Two million attempts are reported, with perhaps 20,000 more suicides reported as accidents. 2 Suicide rates are lower for females, a fact that probably reflects society’s heavier condemnation of gay males than of lesbians.3 Abused youth are in the high risk category for suicide. Young, Gay, Dead: Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers By Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell Christian Teens More Susceptible? Any upheaval during the growing up years can increase the likelihood of suicide. The pain of being homosexual in a cultural/religious/home situation that condemns homosexuality can be so overwhelming as to coerce a teenager to commit suicide. Being Christian does not prevent suicidal thoughts and actions.4 Because they want to be in heaven with Jesus or a loved one or they have an over-sensitized consciousness of sin that makes them conclude they deserve to die, some teenagers, young in the faith, may be more susceptible to suicidal thoughts than nonbelieving youth. In addition, suicide sometimes appears easier for gays and lesbians to deal with than dealing with the persons who would be hurt if they were truthful about their homosexuality.5 Gay and lesbian teenagers feel isolated, confused, and rejected. They lack the coping skills and avenues to deal with their concerns. Essence editor Linda Villarosa, a lesbian, calls the closet a “dark and lonely place” and advises young people struggling with their sexual orientation: “Do not carry this around just by yourself. You’ll go crazy. Tell somebody. Start with people you know already love you.”6 All Christians, especially those in leadership and those able to influence what goes on in our churches, ought to consider this: “Do we want our children experiencing that darkness and loneliness alone?” Helping Teens Choose Life The church is a light-bringing, darkness- dispelling village that is responsible for the raising of each child in our community. What can the church do to help homosexual teenagers choose life? First, the church must be a community that encourages truth telling. We need open discussion and efforts to understand the struggles that young people endure. Second, gay and lesbian teenagers need to find in the church counselors and ministers, youth leaders, and parents who will help them feel affirmed and offer realistic direction. Mel White tells of his relief at having masturbation discussed at church camp, but noted that the minister who enabled the discussion was immediately removed for having done so.7 Third, the church must not foster the myths and stereotypes that shape the public image of what it means to be homosexual. Can the church afford not to risk offering the opportunity for youth to be in dialogue with ordinary, Christian persons who are homosexual? Waiting until a youngster reveals conflicts about his or her sexuality is too late. Fourth, suicide needs to be discussed. Youth, parents, and youth leaders need to know the eighteen warning signs of suicide, including: avoiding or pulling away from others; decreasing communication with adults and peers; giving away prized possessions; being preoccupied with death; having a sense of “In the early, pre-dawn hours of 27 August 1982, Bobby Griffith, who had just celebrated his twentieth birthday two months earlier, did a backflip off a freeway overpass in the path of a semi-truck and trailer. He was killed instantly.... For four years, Bobby and his parents had been struggling with the fact of Bobby’s homosexuality... [S]uicide seemed the only way out.”1 —B. Jaye Miller more ➟ Suicide Incidence Gay youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people. It is estimated that up to 30 percent of the completed youth suicides are committed by lesbian and gay youth annually. Source: Hetrick-Martin “Fact File” page, quoting Gibson P. LCSW, “Gay Male and Lesbian Youth Suicide,” Report of the Secretary’s Task Force on Youth Suicides, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 1989. Youth Suicides 30% Lesbian & Gay Youth Suicides 20 Open Hands My son Mitchell is five years old. He’s different from most other boys, and he has been for as long as I can remember. At home, he plays Barbies with his sister and lip syncs to music wearing dresses that twirl. He loves to have his nails polished and to wear red lipstick. At school at recess, Mitchell jumps rope or climbs the jungle gym with the girls. At home, Mitch likes to make clothes for his stuffed animals out of fabric scraps, and then makes furniture for them out of cardboard. He has a Brio train set, a huge fire truck, and a bin of plastic dinosaurs, but he never plays with them. We haul them out when boys come over to play, but the toys mostly stay up on the closet shelves. At night, Mitchell often sleeps in one of his sister’s nightgowns. Despite being an atypical boy, Mitchell is happy. He’s learned how to manage his world so that he can be himself, yet fit in with the world. His father, seven-year-old sister and I are very supportive of who he is—we don’t differentiate between “girl” and “boy” things at home. Yet, Mitchell is very clear on the world’s ideas of what’s acceptable for him to do or be. He’ll be Jasmine or Esmeralda at home, but for Halloween, when he has to walk the neighborhood, he’ll choose a boy character or an animal. On sharing day at school, he won’t bring the new Barbie he just got, he’ll bring a stuffed animal or a typical boy toy, even if it’s something that he never plays with. He’s even said that boys don’t do certain things or wear certain things. Making New Friends Mitchell doesn’t make new friends easily, he just rotates having over the same three girls he has been friends with for years. When these friends are My Son Mitchell By Teri Shugart Erickson over, they often play dress up games. Everybody gets to be a girl character. When Mitch does have a new friend over, I’ve seen him test the waters by putting on a dress or a girl costume and watching to see if his new friend notices or laughs. Or, Mitch will casually mention that he likes to wear dresses. One boy said, “Are you nuts?” and another just laughed. Girls aren’t necessarily more sensitive to the issue: new girl friends often try to make Mitchell be the boy character. Mitchell once had a good friend who was a boy. Harry. Harry’s moved away now, but I still hold up that friendship as a model for what a friendship can and should be. It’s easy for Mitchell to be friends with a girl who likes the same things he does, but it takes more work when a friendship requires accommodation of different interests. Harry and Mitchell, on their own, had mastered that art. Harry, a boy with typical boy interests, and Mitchell, a boy with typical girl interests, would play fantasy games where each boy got to be the character they wanted to be. Harry might have a dinosaur figure and Mitchell might have a girl figure, and those boys would make up a story where those two figures would play together. This friendship withstood the test of time and contact: the boys played together almost every day, and never tired of one another. I believe what made the difference in this relationship, versus other friendships that haven’t been so successful, was Harry’s mom, Lynn. She treated Mitchell with respect and acceptance. Lynn’s most important contribution to the friendship was to never try to get Mitchell to play something or be something that he had no interest in playing or being. (Many moms are convinced guilt or shame; poor personal hygiene; increase in risky behavior; self abuse; and suicide of a friend.8 Fifth, churches need to take positive action. The United Methodist Church has adopted a resolution that recognizes the problem of suicide related to homosexuality among teenagers, noting “isolation, confusion, and fear when he or she needs information, guidance, and support.”9 It directs the Woman’s Division to use its effective communication channels to provide “factual information, program ideas, and resources on this topic for use by individuals and groups.” However, they will have no impact on gay and lesbian teens unless local congregations take seriously the need to address the issues of teens, homosexuality, and suicide.▼ Notes 1Warren J. Blumenfeld, Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price (Boston: Beacon, 1992), p. 79. 2Thomas D. Kennedy, “Too Young to Die,” Christianity Today (20 March 1987), p. 19. 3David Shaffer, Marilyn Gould, and Roger C. Hicks, “Worsening Suicide Rate in Black Teenagers,” American Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 151, no. 12 (December 1994), p. 1810. 4Kennedy, p. 20. 5Mary Franzen Clark and Robert Anthony Kerr, “What a Heterosexual Christian Counselor Can Learn from Stranger at the Gate, by Mel White,” Journal of Psychology and Christianity, vol. 15, no, 4, 1996, p. 366. 6All God’s Children, video, Woman Vision, 1996. To order, write 3145 Geary Blvd., Box 421, San Francisco CA 94118 or call 415/ 273-1145. 7Clark, p. 365. 8Newscope (7 February 1997), pp. 1-2. 9“Teens at Risk,” Book of Resolutions, 1996 (Nashville: The United Methodist Church, 1996), p. 414. Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell is a board member of the national Reconciling Congregation Program and a writer of United Methodist curriculum. She is a member of Trinity United Methodist Church in Alexandria, Virginia, and is on the faculty at Howard University School of Divinity. Honoring gender differences in children is crucial to their well-being. Summer 1997 21 that they can turn Mitchell into a more typical boy.) Mitchell once had a brief friendship with a boy from his preschool class, Nicholas. What I remember most about Nicholas was the time when I was driving the boys to play at Nicholas’s house for the first time, and Nicholas told Mitch “Now, I don’t have any girl toys.” It was the voice of concern for his friend, that he might not have what Mitchell needed. Mitchell said “That’s okay” and the boys found plenty to do at Nicholas’s house that afternoon. That exchange exemplified for me what acceptance of differences is all about: we don’t pretend that they don’t exist, and we figure out ways to enjoy being together, even when we’re different. Mitchell went to a birthday party for a boy in his class last month. All the boys in his class had been invited, no girls. Beforehand, Mitch was worried about having no one to play with at the party, so I was happy to see his fears unrealized. The other boys were calling out “Hey, Mitch!” to get him to run alongside them; they included him in all their chasing and building games; Mitch was one of the guys. It warmed my heart. It was then that I realized exactly what my heart’s desire is for my child: I don’t care what he is, but I desperately want him to be liked and wanted. Well-Meaning Relatives Every Christmas, well-meaning relatives give Mitchell fire engines with sirens and action figures that transform into monsters. He cried when his sister opened the Barbie that was on his Christmas list. My sister-in-law had asked what Mitch wanted for Christmas. When I told her “a Jewel Haired Mermaid Barbie or a Sailor Moon doll,” she said that she just couldn’t buy something like that for him. She bought him a matchbox car that he gave to Goodwill. When my parents were visiting us last Christmas, Mitchell and his sister put on make-up and lipstick, and then came out to the living room to show us all. His dad said “You look wonderful!” His grandmother (my mother) just rolled her eyes. She never says that she disapproves of Mitchell’s interests, but she has mentioned several times that I need to play Legos with him more, that he loves playing Legos with her when she’s baby-sitting him. Although it’s true that Mitchell enjoys playing Legos with his grandmother, he never self-selects Legos as an activity. He selects Barbies and stuffed animals. My mother believes that Mitchell’s lack of typical boy interests is my fault. It irritates me that it is a societal goal for Mitchell to develop typical boy interests. Growing Up Knowing What Gay Is My son once told me that he wished he were a girl. I think the main reason he said that is that he wants the freedom to wear velour dresses to school, leotards to gymnastics class, and taffeta to church on Christmas Eve. Mitchell knows what being gay is. We talk about it in our family, and we read children’s stories with gay characters. If Mitchell is gay, I want him to grow up hearing about being gay in the same way that he hears about different colors of skin and special talents that only a few possess. Not as an affliction to be overcome or a cross to bear, but with the knowledge that, as God’s creation, he is perfect just the way he is and that we (his father and mother) wouldn’t change him for the world. Luckily, we both believe that. Being Included in Church Our church is not a reconciling congregation, more out of inertia than any political or religious beliefs, but we are welcoming to people who are different from us. But a church needs to be more than welcoming, it needs to be affirming. Since the United Methodist Church’s official position is anti-gay, there aren’t any children’s Sunday School materials that affirm being gay. If a child is gay, they need to see gay adults as full participants and leaders in the church, so that as they grow up in the church, they don’t see their differentness as a reason to leave the church. For churches with no openly gay congregants, it is even more important to have children’s religious books and Sunday School curriculum with ordinary gay characters. I want all children to see that being gay is not separate from being Christian. more ➟ Mitchell’s favorite dress-up clothes at age 3 (my wedding veil and shoes) Mitchell at age 4, loves to hula dance 22 Open Hands In the absence of positive gay images in written materials and accepted openly gay congregants, what the church can do right now (and ours does) is to affirm the idea of all of us being different and, at the same time, promoting the image of God creating all of us in God’s own image. We can celebrate our differences rather than only welcoming people who look just like we do. Historically, people who are different have been outcasts, and children who are different are no exception. On Children’s Sabbath last year, our Sunday School children wrote their own liturgy about outcasts (at right). I asked the question “Who are the outcasts?” and the children responded over and over again, creating this wonderful responsive reading. Notice that almost every answer has to do with being different. “I ache when I think about having to not be who you are, or to lie about who you are, to fully belong to a church.” Our family used to belong to a church more conservative than the one we belong to now. The pastors were of the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mind about homosexuality. The congregants covered the entire spectrum— both welcoming and anti-gay. But, the welcoming ones were silent. Always silent. When I invited my friend Jim, who is gay, to come to my church, he said that he wouldn’t be welcome there. And he probably wouldn’t have been—not totally. He and his partner wouldn’t have been included together in church events, wouldn’t have been part of the social fabric of church, unless they downplayed who they were. I ache when I think about having to not be who you are, or to lie about who you are, to fully belong to a church. I want more for my son. I want him to be a full participant in the life of a Children’s Sabbath Responsive Reading Who are the outcasts in our world? A girl who was born with a skin disease and a girl with one eye. Who are the outcasts? Kids with braces or glasses. Who are the outcasts? Kids who can’t hear or are blind. Who are the outcasts? Kids at my school who get there on a bus. Who are the outcasts? Kids in wheelchairs. Who are the outcasts? The special education kids who look different. Who are the outcasts? Sometimes it’s me. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? He wants us to be nice and helpful, and to treat them kindly. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? Like a brother or sister, or like a friend. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? We shouldn’t stare, and we should share our things with them. How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts? We should treat them the way that we want to be treated. But, that’s not just for outcasts, that’s for everybody. church, fully accepted for who he is, appreciated for what he can do. I want his spiritual life nurtured and prayed for. As he grows older, I want him to continue to want to go to church, knowing that he is an integral part of that faith community. When he is older and finds a partner, I want him to be able to commit to that partner in a religious ceremony at church, promising before God, his congregation, his family, and his friends to remain faithful for life. No matter what the sex of that partner. He is only five years old.▼ Teri Shugart Erickson is the director of Christian education at Crystal Springs United Methodist Church in San Mateo, California. —Sunday School children Crystal Springs United Methodist Church Children’s Sabbath, 1996 Summer 1997 23 My youngest son, fifteen, had come home from a school trip quite ill with several complaints. After a week of TLC, we headed for the doctor. Three doctors later we found ourselves in the hospital. I was told my son had HIV and would have about five to seven years to live. At that time I knew nothing about the virus or the disease called AIDS. We were a middle class, white, suburban, church-going family. AIDS was a disease for drug addicts and gay men. How dare AIDS invade our life! I had been raised in a strict religious faith where sex was not a topic for discussion. Therefore I had not given much sexual instruction to my own children. But Daniel had many questions, and since he could not get answers at home, school or church, he found his answers on the street. I soon realized that my life would not be the same old stay-at-home-mom. In May of 1986 we were told to keep quiet, try to help our son finish high school, and maybe a medical breakthrough would happen. If not, we should “enjoy” the times we had together. For the next few years we all lived in the closet—the closet of fear, anger, and dread of tomorrow. I did a lot of crying, praying, and arguing with God. Why me? Why? Why? And then one day I knew why! God had a plan for me: Sarah, the critical, narrow-minded woman was to become Sarah, the helper, the listener, the Christian woman as opposed to the religious woman. Only our Lord Jesus could give insight on the meaning of unconditional love. From Fear to Advocacy By Sarah M. Reed HIV positive—words that put fear in everyone’s heart… HIV=AIDS=Death. These were the words I heard on Mother’s Day, 1986. Little did I know what lay ahead for my family and me. When our son began writing for his college newspaper in 1990, he wanted us to support him in helping to educate other youth about HIV/AIDS. So I became an HIV/AIDS educator. Yet we had a big problem. We had been members of the United Methodist Church for thirty-some years, during many of which I taught Sunday school, worked for the music ministry, and served as a trustee. However, we were not welcomed when we spoke about AIDS. I tried to facilitate a support group for our area. Oh yes, we could use a room once a month at the church, but somehow the announcement got left out of the bulletin, and the room assignment was erased from the announcement board. In a church with 3500 members and six ministers, we had support from only six individuals. What should churches do for those living with HIV/AIDS? Churches can begin sex education classes for youth (and adults) in which all aspects of sexuality are discussed. Sexuality is one of God’s beautiful gifts to us, and we need to recognize that gift. We need to educate our youth so that they will have the knowledge to make healthy choices. Allowing youth to discuss such issues will help them to understand and be better educated about HIV/AIDS. We also need to provide education for parents, as many are ignorant of all aspects of AIDS, most of all the heartbreak. Our churches need to provide a safe haven for all those who find themselves with HIV/AIDS or who seek information about the disease. We need to provide trained peer educators who can understand and address problems associated with HIV/AIDS. The church needs to provide services, such as transportation to medical services or emergency money for medicines. The church might offer educational workshops on AIDS to the neighborhood and plan how to support families in need. What can you do to ensure an accepting church for HIV/AIDS affected youth? Speak up! Volunteer or help find volunteers who will provide education, support, and advocacy for our youth. Take time to write letters, not only to church leaders but also to community leaders (and politicians), asking their support for your programs. Support young people as they seek answers about HIV. Be there for them! All of us can use a loving, listening friend. Get involved, and God will bless you and your church beyond your wildest dreams.▼ Sarah M. Reed, an elementary school teacher, wife, and mother of three grown children, is an AIDS educator who volunteers for several AIDS related organizations, including the board of MetroTeen AIDS. She and her husband left the Methodist church and joined the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington D.C. where she is active in the children’s ministry, pastoral visitation, choir, and is mom to many of the members. She and her son Daniel often speak together at church, school, and community meetings. 24 Open Hands An inspiration came to me while viewing gay composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein’s monumental work Mass: that the Catholic Church may one day openly accept and bless gay relationships as part of God’s creation and encourage them as a way to give glory and praise to God. This would be providing sanctuary. The Catholic Church presently has no official program for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning young Catholics that would help them accept their sexual orientation. Recent comments by bishops, however, asking forgiveness of gays and lesbians for neglecting their needs and encouraging clergy and laity to come out of the closet with honesty is indeed encouraging.1 Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, auxiliary of Detroit, is a leader in this regard. His attendance at New Ways Ministry conferences and his acceptance of awards for his pastoral care, understanding, and compassion of gay and lesbian children of God is most heartening. The Catholic Church has accepted the reality of gay sexual orientation, but doesn’t allow open dialogue on accepting committed gay relationships. Theologically, the Church’s position is contradictory because it demands celibacy of its gay and lesbian members while admitting that celibacy in its priests requires a special gift of grace from God, a vocation, which gays and lesbians don’t have. So how can gays and lesbians as a group be expected to remain celibate?2 What are gay Catholic youth to do when they look for present day role models in the Church? Our own Paulist Parish in Boulder, Colorado, St. Thomas Aquinas University Parish, has had a Gay, Lesbian Concerned Catholics (GLCC) group for over seventeen years. Some college-age youth have attended the quarterly meetings to listen to speakers such as Sr. Jeanine Grammick, Fr. Robert Nugent, Richard Woods O.P., Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church? By John Hoffman Daniel Helminiak— a former priest, and John Fortunato. As a member of GLSTN (the Gay Lesbian Straight Teachers Network), I personally have tried to provide sanctuary for youth by my involvement in the Longmont Alliance Supporting Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth in the city where I teach. I have supplied books to my school district like Open Lives, Safe Schools. I have shared with school counselors the excellent video It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School.3 I have come out as gay in the local high school newspaper to provide one model for gay students. I have lobbied behind the scenes with school administrators to get “sexual orientation” added to our non-discrimination policy (which hasn’t been successful yet). However, it is my Church which must help offer sanctuary to young people. In their new book, Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth, Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman state that “…most gay and lesbian youth are not open about their sexual orientation in their communities of faith. Generally, the way they know whether they will be rejected or affirmed is by observing the way their church treats adult gays and lesbians… It is important to include positive education about gays and lesbians in religious instruction… Such forums will provide reassurances that, whatever their sexual orientation, gay youth will be accepted.”4 In the Catholic parish where I grew up, the words “gay” or “lesbian” were never mentioned from the pulpit. They still aren’t in many Catholic churches. It is the silence which is killing our youth. It treats them as though they don’t exist. Few priests have the courage to speak out and defend youth with a gay orientation publicly from the pulpit. This is the saddest situation that cries out for remedy. In Bernstein’s Mass, the disadvantaged youth does speak out. The celebrant answers that he doesn’t have all the answers and that each of us has the obligation to save our own souls without his leadership. He can’t do it for us. Gay Catholic youth face a similar situation. The courageous solutions they choose on their own, following their consciences, are even more deserving of our respect because of the limited guidance they receive. The Lord will understand, and church leaders will have to answer for their lack of guidance. I left Mass with tears streaming down my face in view of the sadness of the present situation for youth so prophetically envisioned by Bernstein twenty-six years ago.▼ Notes 1Bondings (Spring 1997), p. 1. Bondings is a seasonal newspaper which keeps subscribers informed of issues pertaining to lesbian and gay people in the Catholic Church. To subscribe: New Ways Ministry, 4012 29th Street, Mt. Rainier MD 20712. 2Dan Maguire, “The Morality of Homosexual Marriage,” in A Challenge to Love: Gay and Lesbian Catholics in the Church, ed. R Nugent (New York: Crossroad, 1983). 3See Selected Resources, p. 26. 4Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman, “Making Changes in Churches and Temples,” Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Youth—and their Allies (New York: Harper Collins, 1996), ch. 17. John Hoffman, Ph.D., is a gay single man who was a Catholic seminarian for nine years at the time of Vatican II. He has been a K-12 reading specialist for twentyfour years in the public school system. He represents his parish on Boulder County’s Interfaith AIDS Coalition. Summer 1997 25 For more information on the music of Home, direct inquiries to: Timothy C. McGinley, 622 North Riley Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46201 (317) 356-2215 Copyright ©1994 Timothy C. McGinley. All rights reserved. HOME The Parable of Beatrice and Neal Home from Home, The Parable of Beatrice and Neal words and music by Timothy C. McGinley Sustaining the Spirit 26 Open Hands Selected Resources Gay/Lesbian Youth Bass, Ellen and Kate Kaufman. Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian Bisexual Youth—and their Allies. New York: Harper Collins, 1996. Alive with the voices of over fifty young people, this is the definitive practical guide for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth—and their families, teachers, counselers, pastors, and friends. It speaks to the basic aspects of their lives. Heron, Ann, ed. Two Teenagers in Twenty: Writings by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In this new edition (first out in 1982), a new generation of teens share their experiences of hatred, isolation, and despair, and their yearnings for acceptance. Romesburg, Don. ed. Young, Gay, & Proud! New ed. Boston: Alyson, 1995. Writings by a diverse group of teens about a wide range of gay/lesbian concerns, with an appendix of famous gay and lesbian people, past and present. Teen Suicide Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son. San Francisco: Harpers, 1995. A middle-class suburban mother advised her son to pray God would heal his homosexuality. Not changed, he took his life. Three years later his mother concludes that God “had not healed Bobby because there was nothing wrong with him.” Remafedi, Gary, ed. Death by Denial: Studies of Suicide in Gay and Lesbian Teenagers. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In 1989 a federal study found that teens struggling with their sexual orientation were three times more likely than their peers to commit suicide. Findings of that report, swept away by the Bush administration, are reported along with other studies. Church Issues Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, their Families and Friends. Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991. Sixty days of prayers, with an introduction on prayer and an epilogue on scripture. Helminiak, Daniel A. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. San Francisco: Alamo Square, 1994. A basic overview of recent findings of biblical scholars. Scanzoni, Letha Dawson and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual my Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response. Rev. and upd. San Francisco: Harpers, 1994. This is a classic. Recommended first reading for just about everyone. School Issues Jennings, Kevin, ed. One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell their Stories. Boston: Alyson, 1994. Educators share their struggles and victories. Walling, Donovan R., ed. Open Lives, Safe Schools: Addressing Gay & Lesbian Issues in Education. Bloomington, IN: Phi Delta Kappa, 1996. A collection of twenty-one essays written for educators and others concerned about schooling, from kindergarten through graduate school. Premise: everyone benefits when students, parents, educators, and others are allowed to live openly in terms of sexual orientation. Videos All God’s Children. Woman Vision, 1996. 3145 Geary Blvd., Box 421, San Francisco CA 94118. 415/273-1145. 25-min. video. Focuses on “the Black Church’s embracement of African American lesbians and gay men as dedicated members of its spiritual family.” Both of My Moms’ Names are Judy: Children of Lesbians and Gays Speak Out. A project of Lesbian and Gay Parents Association. 6705 California Street #1, San Francisco CA 94121. 415/387- 9886. 10-min. video. Presents interviews of a diverse group of children (ages 7-11) who have gay or lesbian parents. Gay Youth: An Educational Video for the Nineties. Producer/Director Pam Walton. Wolfe Video, PO Box 64, New Almaden CA 95042. 40 min. video. Breaks the silence surrounding adolescent homosexuality. Contrasts the suicide of 20-yearold Bobby Griffith with the remarkable life of 17-year-old Gina Guiterrez. It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School. Women’s Educational Media, 2180 Bryant St., Suite 203, San Francisco CA 94110. 415/641-4616. 78-min. video. Produced by academy award winner Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen. Shows teachers leading class discussions with elementary and middle school children to address anti-gay prejudice. Would be helpful to Sunday school teachers who want to encourage discussion occasionally. Also, very helpful to church groups trying to encourage local public schools to encorporate gay/lesbian tolerance into curriculum. Straight from the Heart. Woman Vision, 1994. 3570 Clay Street, San Francisco CA 94118. 415/921-5687. 24-min. video. “Examines the issues parents face in coming to terms with having a lesbian or gay child.” Your Mom’s a Lesbian; Here’s Your Lunch; Have a Good Day at School. Leonardo’s Children, Inc., 26 Newport Bridge Road, Warwick NY 10990. 914/986-6888. Story of Presbyterian minister Jane Adams Spahr, wife and mother of two small boys, separated from her husband because she was a lesbian. Organizations The Hetrick-Martin Institute, Inc., 401 West St. New York NY 10014. 212/633-8920. See p. 11. Horizons, 961 West Montana, Chicago IL 60614. 312/929-HELP. Has youth support groups and services. PFLAG, PO Box 96519, Washington DC 20090-6519. 202/638- 4200. Contact for a chapter near you. Summer 1997 27 FRIDAY NIGHT WORSHIP: Rev. James Forbes, Janie Spahr, Virginia Davidson, et. al. are “Marching in the Light of God.” FIRST ML BAPTISM: The child of a couple at one of the newest More Light Churches, St. Mark in Portland, Oregon, is baptised by the Rev. David Lee. QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS: Clifton Kirkpatrick, Stated Clerk of the General Assembly, backed up by Dick Lundy, MLCN, fields questions from the audience. ENJOYING THE MOMENT: Mitzi Henderson is honored for her leadership in founding the More Light Churches Network and for her work with PFLAG. With the Rev. Steve Mathison-Bowie. LET THE LITTLE ONES COME: The increasing presence of children demonstrates the inclusive welcome of the More Light movement and its hope for the future. AMENDMENT B: Laurene Lafontaine, Scott Anderson, and Cliff Fraiser discuss Amendment B and its effects, one of many formal and informal conversations throughout the conference. SPEAKING OUT: Katie Morrison describes the dilemmas and pain that come with being a lesbian in seminary. Lesbian and gay seminarians were a vocal and enriching presence at the conference. ONE MORE QUESTION: Howard Warren (left) raises a question for Clifton Kirkpatrick, as Ken Collinson looks on. SYMBOLIC STOLES: Over 350 stoles, each from someone personally affected by the Presbyterian ban on gay/lesbian ordination, were on display. Presbyterians from across the country gathered in Portland, Oregon on 23-25 May for support, educational opportunities, worship, fun, and strategic planning for the upcoming General Assembly. 14tth Annuall Morre LLiightt Conffeerreenccee Ceelleebrrattess Neevveerr TTuurrnniinngg BBaacckk Captions: Dick Lundy Photos: Dick Hasbany 28 Open Hands Welcoming Communities MORE LIGHT More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Clarendon Presbyterian Church Arlington, Virginia Clarendon Presbyterian Church is a redeveloping congregation in a neighborhood increasingly filled with young professional people working in Washington, D.C. The Rev. Madeline Jervis reports that the congregation has a number of gay and lesbian members and has been openly inclusive for a number of years. The vote to become a More Light Church was taken following the passage of Amendment B to the Book of Order (see p. 30). Family of Christ Presbyterian Church Greeley, Colorado The Family of Christ Church is the liberal Presbyterian option in Greeley, a community of 65,000 and the home of the University of Northern Colorado. The congregation is composed of professional people and farm families. It shares its building with a Spanish-speaking congregation. The Rev. Steve Brown has been its pastor since 1985. First United Presbyterian Church Troy, New York The First United Presbyterian Church of Troy was chartered when George Washington was President. Troy is an old industrial city of 50,000 just across the Hudson River from Albany. “Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors” is found on the church sign. The Rev. Barbara Anderson, co-pastor with her husband Mark Smutny, reports that the congregation of approximately 375 members is the largest in its presbytery and gives that body considerable leadership. The Session has signed a covenant of dissent, objecting to the recent changes in the Book of Order. Sixth Presbyterian Church Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Sixth Presbyterian is situated in an urban neighborhood near the University of Pittsburgh. This congregation of 290 members, served by two pastors, John McCall and Deborah Gausmann, has a longtime involvement in a cooperative community- focused ministry. The congregation has been welcoming of gays and lesbians for many years. RECONCILED IN CHRIST St. Mark Presbyterian Church Portland, Oregon St. Mark Presbyterian began some fifty years ago on the campus of Lewis and Clark College in Portland. It is now located only several blocks away from the campus. A congregation of less than 100 members, St. Mark has been carefully deliberate in its process of becoming a More Light Church. Many of its members served on the local arrangements committee for the 1997 More Light Conference held at Lewis and Clark College in May (see p. 27). Westminster Hills Presbyterian Church Hayward, California Westminster Hills Presbyterian is a forty-one-year-old ethnically diverse congregation of approximately 75 members. The citizens of Hayward now speak fifty-seven languages. Westminster Hills is oriented toward the needs of people in its neighborhood, with three community service agencies housed in the church building. Luther Congregation Campus Ministry of Luther College Decorah, Iowa The Luther Congregation, part of the Campus Ministry program at Luther College, is a student congregation of the ELCA. Students join and participate without affecting membership in their home churches. Campus Ministry offers daily chapel, Wednesday Eucharist, Sunday worship, and a variety of learning, outreach, and service ministries. The congregation provides support and seed money for the campus Amnesty International and Habitat for Humanity chapters, as well as other groups centered on peace and justice concerns. Luther Congregation joined the RIC roster in May 1995 after a period of extended dialogue and study about ministry with gay and lesbian persons. It continues to engage in community dialogue by supporting guest speakers and advocacy events, such as a spring teach-in. The congregation’s two primary goals in carrying out its RIC ministry are to continue public affirmation of its partnership in ministry with those of differing sexual orientations and to encourage fruitful dialogue about the church’s understanding of human sexuality. Park View Lutheran Church and School Chicago, Illinois Park View Lutheran Church and School, a 220-member congregation on the north side of Chicago, voted on 27 April to become a Reconciled in Christ/Affirming Congregation. Park View has a vibrant and liturgical worship life and reaches out to the community primarily through its Christian day school (grades kindergarten to eighth). “I have a good feeling about the process,” said Rev. Timothy Dean, Park View’s pastor. “We had a lot of discussion, out of our baptism.” Park View hopes to become more involved with the local chapter of Lutherans Concerned and will likely study the biblical resource Claiming the Promise (see ad, p. 32) in the fall. Summer 1997 29 WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. RECONCILING First United Methodist Church Boulder, Colorado First UMC was founded in 1859 during the early Gold Rush years in Colorado. The congregation’s present building in downtown Boulder was completed 100 years after its founding. The current congregation of about 500 members is engaged in a variety of community ministries, including a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, and the Boulder Community AIDS Project. New persons coming to the church note the fine preaching, excellent music program, and general friendliness. The outing and dismissal of a long-time minister of youth and education, Julian Rush, in the early 1980s caused division within the congregation. Efforts to heal this rift eventually led to the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. West Valley United Methodist Church Chatsworth, California West Valley UMC was formed about ten years ago when a group of persons left a large, conservative Japanese-American church and applied to become a congregation in the United Methodist Church. This 85-member congregation carries on a ministry to Asian-Americans in the UMC, focusing on intercultural and intergenerational concerns. While the congregation maintains its Japanese-American identity, its mission statement affirms its openness to persons of different races. The members’ experience of being marginalized—many were forced into internment camps during World War II—has led to their support of other marginalized persons, including the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. Christ Congregation (ABC, UCC) Princeton, New Jersey Christ Congregation is situated in Princeton Borough, across the street from Westminster Choir College and Princeton High School, and just a few blocks from the University. Founded in 1955 as Calvary Baptist Church, the congregation in 1968 decided to align themselves also with the United Church of Christ and changed their name to Christ Congregation. The congregation has always tried to be welcoming, open, and affirming of all persons. At present it has a diverse membership of 93. The past few years has seen a surge in the numbers of families with young children in attendance. Christ Congregational is involved in ministries at a nursing home, a residence for abused teens, and a residence for young women and infants who are HIV+. The congregation also has a ministry to foreign students and cooperates with other churches in ministries to the homeless and those in crisis. Christ Congregation joined W&A/ONA to declare publicly their inclusiveness and to show solidarity with others, especially those ABC churches that have been disfellowshipped because of their welcoming and affirming witness (see p. 30). WELCOMING & AFFIRMING NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY OCTOBER 11 Coming Out is a sure way to gain support. Coming Out helps us achieve political power and voting power. Coming Out can turn ignorance into acceptance. Coming Out means changing the tide of history. For more information, contact National Coming Out Day P.O. Box 34640, Washington, DC 20043-4640 202/628-4160 or 800/866-NCOD Fax 202/347-5323 NCOD is a non-profit educational project of the Human Rights Campaign Fund Foundation. Triangle Ministries ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼ A Center For Lesbian & Gay Spiritual Development 14 White Birch Lane, Williston, VT 05495 802-860-7106 or Email: revcsl@aol.com Offers Weekend Retreats In Burlington, VT “Surfacing Our Souls” A Study of Families, Fear, & Faith November 28 - 30, 1997 “Having the Holy in Our Holidays” December 19-21, 1997 “Body & Soul” A Valentine’s Retreat For Lesbian Couples February 13 - 16, 1998 Contact for rates, registration, & further information Or visit TM web page hhtp://members.aol.com/revcsl 30 Open Hands Movement News Alaskan Baptists Disfellowship Church Alaskan American Baptists voted in April to notify the Church of the Covenant in Palmer, Alaska, that their membership in the state body is being terminated. This vote ends a process that began over a year ago. In April 1996 the Alaska Association of Baptist Churches adopted a resolution that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” The Church of the Covenant is a member of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, a national network of Baptist churches that advocates for full acceptance of gay persons in the life of the church and for full civil rights of gay persons. Its pastor, the Rev. Howard Bess, is a member of the Open Hands advisory committee. In October 1996, the Alaska Association voted to admonish the church (see news item in Winter 1997 issue of Open Hands). Church of the Covenant made it clear that the dropping of its commitment to justice for gay persons would not be considered. At the 18 April 1997 meeting in Anchorage, representatives from Church of the Covenant introduced a motion calling for dialogue on issues related to the relationship of gay believers and churches. The motion failed, with only the representatives of Church of the Covenant voting for dialogue. Church of the Covenant joins five other American Baptist Churches—First Baptist Church of Granville, Ohio, and four California churches—that have already been dismissed from their regional bodies. These actions are under appeal to the national body. The six churches are still considered American Baptist churches and remain in good standing within the denomination. Hundreds Dance at Water’s Edge More than 200 people attended the “Wade On In: Dancing at the Water’s Edge” event held 28-30 June at the La Verne (California) Church of the Brethren and at the University of La Verne. The conference, sponsored by the Church of the Brethren Womaen’s Caucus, Brethren Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC), the La Verne Church of the Brethren, and the University of La Verne, emphasized drawing closer together while celebrating our diversity. Conference activities included evening worship, music, Sunday morning worship with the La Verne congregation, a theater performance, “Coming Out, Coming Home,” exploring issues of sexuality and acceptance, and afternoon conversation circles. A “Ritual of Tears” marked the opening evening worship, at which laments were heard concerning fear for the direction of church decision-making bodies as well as rejection of individuals and groups by the larger Church. Symbols of healing waters appeared throughout the conference, however, to remind participants of their ability to move forward in faith toward an inclusive and affirming church. At the concluding service BMC executive director Jim Sauder invited conference goers to “wade, jump, plunge, or slowly inch your way into the water of new life.” A final toast of sparkling juice encouraged each to go with the knowledge that together they were reating new wine from the water. Good News from Presbyterian General Assembly A refreshing spirit of reconciliation permeated the meeting of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Syracuse, New York in mid-June. In the search for middle ground on the issue of ordination for gays and lesbians, the Assembly voted to send a new, far less restrictive, amendment than the commonly called “fidelity and chastity” (Amendment B) for ratification by presbyteries. The new amendment, termed B+ by many, would require those seeking ordination to “demonstrate fidelity and integrity in marriage or singleness, and in all relationships of life” rather than living “in fidelity within the covenant of marriage of a man and a woman or chastity in singleness,” as in Amendment B. It would require church officers to “lead a life in obedience to Jesus Christ under the authority of scripture” rather than as Amendment B said, “in obedience to scripture.” The new amendment states that “candidates for ordained office shall acknowledge their own sinfulness, the need for repentance, and their reliance on the grace and mercy of God to fulfill the duties of their office” rather than Amendment B’s “persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/ or installed” as church officers. The leadership of PLGC (Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns) stressed that this new amendment would not clear the way for the ordination of gays and lesbians, but is a major step back from the polarizing stance adopted by last year’s General Assembly. New Development/Media Staff for Welcoming Movement A grant from the First United Church in Oak Park (Illinois) will provide for the part-time employment of a development/ media associate for the welcoming church movement. Marty Hansen, Presbyterian layperson from Chicago, will begin this new position in September. He will work out of the Reconciling Congregation Program national office. Prior to beginning this new ministry, Marty was director of development for Horizons, a gay/lesbian social service agency in Chicago. Marty will cultivate foundations and churches or agencies with large mission budgets as possible funders of projects in the various denominational welcoming church programs. He will also seek to heighten the national media visibility of our ecumenical movement. Your suggestions of funding and media contacts to assist Marty in this critical work can be sent to him at 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago IL 60641; fax 773/ 736-5475. Summer 1997 31 Call for Articles for Spring 1998 Sexual Ethics Seeking both analytical articles and personal stories that explore the power of sexuality and the role of ethics in channeling that energy toward life-giving relationships, within the continuous (re)interpretation of Christian tradition. How do you make ethical decisions about relationship issues? How do you deal with ethical decisions that go against the prevailing societal and religious norm? How do you understand and live with(in) old sexual ethical paradigms and new ones? Do you think ethics should “channel” sexual energy through guidelines or “contain” that power through rules and laws? Write with idea: October 1 Manuscript deadline: February 1 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Who Reads Open Hands? Thank you to the 416 people who completed the readers’ survey about Open Hands last winter. Thanks also to the 154 people who wrote personal comments about the magazine. Here is just one, a comment from Bob Banner of Atlanta: “Open Hands is important because it is both the voice of and report on the Welcoming movement that has grown from within the mainline churches. Open Hands is helping to spread the central message of the Bible (that ”the Church“ is supposed to be spreading!) that Jesus himself came to teach: that there are no ‘guidelines’ for separating human beings from one another— that classifications are without significance in the matter of God’s love for us and our love for each other.” Who reads the magazine? The new survey indicates that of the 416 responses, 52.2 percent of our readers are male and 46.6 percent female. Readers are 45.7 percent heterosexual, almost 31 percent gay, 16 percent lesbian, and 5.5 percent bisexual. Readers are 95.7 percent white and 4.1 percent other races. Almost 35 percent of our readers live in cities, while 31 percent live in a major metro area, 15 percent each live in suburban areas and small towns, and 2 percent live in rural areas. Just over 52 percent are laypersons, 36 percent are clergy, and almost 7 percent are other church professionals. Just under 50 percent are United Methodists. The next biggest denominational groups of readers are United Church of Christ at 12.5 percent and Presbyterian at 7 percent. Twenty-five other denominations or affiliations are also represented within our readership. Upcoming Gatherings 2-5 October 1997 Called on the Journey: Sacred Spaces of our Lives. Global gathering of CLOUT (Christian Lesbians Out), an international movement. Portland, Oregon retreat center. Contact: Leanne Kerner 503/281-5405, 3011 NE Hancock, Portland OR 97212 or e-mail: mamadyke@aol.com. 3-5 October 1997 Table Music: Embracing Difference, Creating Harmony. First Western Canadian Mennonite and Church of the Brethren Conference, Canmore, Alberta. For Supportive Congregations and lesbian/gay/bisexual people. Contact: Heather, 403/987-4974, or fax 403/987-4089. 10-13 October 1997 No Longer Strangers... Lutherans Concerned Western US/ Canadian Regional Retreat, Holden Village, Washington. For lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered, queer, and non-gay Christians. Contact: John Eric Rolfstad, 206/937-4490 or write 3828 Beach Drive SW, #201, Seattle WA 98116. W&A Baptists at Biennial Meeting When the American Baptist Churches met in Indianapolis, 24-27 June, Welcoming & Affirming Baptists were there! Rainbow flags were evident on name badges. A prayer from the podium in an evening plenary session called for recognizing the Christ in those present who may have a different sexual orientation. Utilizing the biennial theme, “Rooted in God’s Word,” W&A Baptists offered delegates materials and opportunities for conversation regarding the biblical foundations for affirmation of lesbigay persons. Following a procession of banners and rainbow flags, over 400 persons packed nearby Christ Church Cathedral for the W&A service of worship, a highlight of the week. Dr. James Forbes, senior pastor of Riverside Church, NYC (W&A/ONA), preached on “More Light from the Spirit on Sexuality.” He encouraged worshipers to seek foundational principles set forth by Jesus Christ in the Bible and charged them to be advocates with the Advocate. “Like a mother who claims her gay son, ‘He’s mine,’ Momma Eternal says, ‘Don’t mess with my gay children, they’re mine!’ Open the closet door!” he challenged. “It is the job of the church to open the closet door for Jesus’ sake! You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” UCCL/GC Celebrates New ONA Churches In late June, 180 supporters of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns (UCCL/GC) met at Ohio State University in Columbus to worship, learn, play, and make history as the group’s largest National Gathering! This great crowd celebrated the 25th anniversary of the UCCL/GC’s ministry in the United Church of Christ. At the sold-out banquet, participants celebrated 52 churches who have been listed as Open and Affirming (ONA) since the 1995 General Synod. 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 13 No 1 - Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7ce260c6c88da5aef92a8ea116cf4c9c.pdf cbe0c30deb33335d3e8e8810424e1575 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document Same -Sex Unions Vol. 12 No. 4 Spring 1997 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 4 Spring 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Same-Sex Unions IDENTIFYING THE ISSUES Same-Sex Unions: Introduction to the Issues 4 EDITOR It’s Not About Marriage—It’s About Civil Rights! 5 MEL WHITE How do we name the issue and why? How we answer may unintentionally give fuel to the Religious Right. The Church and Covenant Relationships: Moving Toward a Renewed Understanding 8 DAVID BELT What does it mean for one person to be in relationship with another? What is the difference between a religious covenant and a legal contract? The Prior Question: A Theological Basis for Blessing Same-Gender Covenants 12 MIRIAM H. PRICHARD What would Jesus do? What do the Gospels imply? One description of the issues before a Baptist church in the Southeast. Legal Considerations 14 PATRICIA V. LONG A member of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh sketches legal problems same-sex couples face. The Hawaii Case: A Summary 15 EDITOR SHARING THE STORIES Companions 16 MAREN C. TIRABASSI A poet-pastor reflects on funeral decorum where samesex couples are involved. The Wrong Question 17 TOM BOLLER A district superintendent caught short by a General Conference conversation takes steps to articulate his beliefs. Spring 1997 3 NEXT ISSUE: Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dorothy Klefstad, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC SELECTED RESOURCES 27 WELCOMING COMMUNITIES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 The Meaning of a Jewish Blessing 18 STEVEN FOLBERG A rabbi shares a story. Steps on a Journey 20 ALYSON HUNTLY Two United Church of Canada congregations seek to be inclusive with two different kinds of processes. Experiences of a Bi-National Lesbian Couple 22 ANONYMOUS Eight years after they became a couple, they still don’t have permanent residency in either partner’s country— but they’re close! R.S.V.P. 24 SUSAN PALMQUIST A hospital chaplain shares a modern midrash sermon on Matthew 22:1-14. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Be for us a model 26 TIMOTHY KOCHER-HILLMER A hymn for the blessing of a commitment. Tapestry of Light 26 AMANDA UDIS-KESSLER A song for a holy union. ASIDES Rights and Protections Denied ...... 6 MEL WHITE Shifting Justification for Sex .......... 9 E. J. GRAFF Where Does Your Denomination Stand? ................ 11 EDITOR Vows of Commitment ................ 13 BETH HEALY AND KATHIE HOPKINS Closing Words ........................... 14 APACHE PRAYER Two Men’s Devotion .................. 17 KYLE SWIHART Resolution of Reform Judaism ..... 18 UAHC Friends Affirm Same-Sex Marriage ................................ 19 4 Open Hands Identifying the Issues Same-sex (same-gender) marriage has hit the public forum rather dramatically in the last year or so. Prior to the Hawaii case and the “Defense of Marriage Act,” our country was focused on “gays in the military,” “special rights” initiatives by the Religious Right, and local gay/lesbian rights initiatives. Many activists were working hard on domestic partnership benefits, not on legal and congressional approval of same-sex marriages. Now, state legislators are rushing to ban recognition of same-sex marriage from one state to another. Today, activists are torn between critiquing the institution of marriage and working for gays and lesbians to have the right to marry. And, as Mel White points out, the Religious Right has set the agenda by quickly using the visibility of the Hawaii case to once again work against gay rights (see p. 5). Yet, the issue is not simply political. We need only recall “The Wedding,” sponsored by the National Federation of Metropolitan Community Churches at the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual March on Washington (24 April 1993) to realize that the desire for ceremonies of samesex commitment has grass roots appeal. At that event, at least 2600 same-sex couples, complete with tuxedos and wedding gowns, made a public commitment in a mass ritual and then celebrated their unions in privately organized receptions around the city.1 Gays and lesbians want the ritual as well as the right to marry. The issue of same-sex unions is now emerging publicly within welcoming churches, although pastors have long officiated at same-sex unions to affirm same-sex relationships within their congregations— and sometimes to provide non-members with religious affirmation of their relationships. Now, such pastors are being called to task by superiors; congregations are being prohibited from holding such events within their buildings. What are pastors to do? How are congregations to view their ministries? We hope these articles, highlighting civil, biblical, theological, and personal/ social concerns and sharing stories of people impacted by the policies and debates, will help you struggle with how to respond to this emerging ministry concern. Here are some factors to consider: 1) Should this issue be framed as the historical right of clergy to marry anyone? Or as an understanding that congregations offer blessings and recognize relationships that exist in their midst? 2) If one approaches this issue as an equity issue, how should the church function? Can pastors who seek to secure civil rights for gays and lesbians continue to function as a representative of a state which denies civil relationship rights to some people? 3) Is it possible to find a middle ground which upholds both denominational needs and faithfulness to local church ministry? What are possible repercussions of defying a negative denominational policy? What biblical foundations support such defiance, and how might it occur? Engaging in dialogue about same-sex unions can be an enriching experience. Let us discuss— with empathy and honesty— our understandings of relationships in a Christian community and how the community supports or undermines those relationships. Welcome to the dialogue! —Editor Note 1Troy Perry, “The Wedding: A Demonstration for the Rights of Gay, Lesbian and Bi Couples,” in Equal Rites, eds. Kittredge Cherry and Zalmon Sherwood (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995), pp. 106- 109. Same-Sex Unions: Introduction to the Issues Spring 1997 5 more ➟ At this moment a fierce and costly war is being waged against lesbians and gays by an army of religious and political zealots. Based on their own anti-homosexual reading (or misreading) of the Hebrew and Christian texts, they are determined to rob us of our civil rights if not eliminate us altogether. Though we are fighting that war on many fronts, same-gender marriage is the issue du jour. Every day our e-mail boxes are filled with reports of battles lost and battles won, but there is still no way to know for certain if we are winning or losing the war. In the meantime, the toxic anti-homosexual rhetoric flows, polluting the nation’s moral environment, trickling down to intolerance, injustice, injury, and death. So, what can we do? This century’s primary apostles of nonviolence, Gandhi and King, say we have just three options. First, we can acquiesce to this latest intolerance, remain comfortably silent, and hope others will win justice for us. Second, we can wait until extremist forces succeed in their campaign to eliminate our rights altogether and then take our anger and our violence to the streets. Or, third (guided by the “soul force” principles of Jesus, Gandhi, and King), we can work for justice now, not just for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered Americans seeking the rights of marriage, but for all God’s children who suffer. At the heart of those “soul force” principles are three, life-changing ideas: First, our Creator calls us to do justice and our lives can’t really be fulfilled until we join Her in that task. Second, our enemies are not evil; they are just victims of misinformation (as we have been). Third, we will succeed only by presenting them the truth in love relentlessly without ever stooping to physical or spiritual violence. Taking a Personal Stand Now, let’s say you decide to hear your Creator’s call to do justice. You want to enlist in that small “soul force” army of women and men who are risking their lives (and investing their resources nonviolently) to win liberty and justice for all. No matter how committed you are to winning equal rights for all people, you cannot fight on every front. You have to choose your battles carefully and then focus everything you have (time, money, energy) on winning your own “small” victories. So, how do we decide where to take our own personal stand? Is same-sex marriage one of those issues that should merit our concern? “Gays are most concerned about employment, personal safety, and AIDS,” answers one of our current national spokespersons. “Only half of them think marriage is an important issue.” I don’t know what poll produced that number. I don’t know how the question was asked or how many people actually answered it. But I know this: to think for a minute that same-sex marriage is not an important issue to us all will be a tragic and costly mistake. First, the statement that marriage “is not an important issue” adds to the confusion already surrounding the samegender marriage debate. Whether we think marriage (as an institution) is important or not makes no difference here. This battle is not about marriage at all. It’s about winning the hundreds (if not thousands) of civil rights and protections that go with heterosexual marriage for lesbian and gay Americans who are now denied those rights (see p. 6). UFMCC pastors and other welcoming and supportive clergy have been marrying lesbian and gay couples for decades and we will go on marrying them forever (even if it means going underground to do it). In fact, same-sex Catholic marriage rites go back to the ninth century, even before heterosexual marriage rites were observed.1 No one can deny us the marriage rite. Instead, they are denying us the legal rights that go automatically with heterosexual marriage. And we must give time and money to obtain those rights whether we believe in the institution of marriage or not. Second, the statement that only half of the lesbians and gays polled feel that marriage “is an important issue” inadvertently supports the extremists in their misinformation campaign against us. The spokesperson didn’t mean to give aid and comfort to the enemy when he said only half of us think marriage is an important issue. But he did. Robertson’s Christian Coalition, Coach Bill McCartney’s Promise Keepers, Beverly LaHaye’s Concerned Women for America, Randell Terry’s Operation Rescue, and the other armies mobilized and massed against us on the same-sex marriage line sincerely believe that lesbian and gay Americans are a threat to “family values.” Without wanting to, the statement that marriage isn’t important supports their worst fears. At the very least the words imply (especially to those who misunderstand and fear us) that since (at least half of us) don’t believe in marriage then (at least half of us) don’t believe in loving, loyal, long-term committed relationships. And if we don’t believe in loving, loyal, long-term committed relationships, then we are a threat to real family values; then we shouldn’t be granted the rights of marriage; and even worse, then children are not safe with us. One false assumption leads to another. Tragic, true-life suffering follows. By Mel White The Same-Sex Marriage Crisis and Our Response It's Not About Marriage— It's About Civil Rights! 6 Open Hands Third, though the spokesperson didn’t mean this either, his statement implies that those who are fighting for same-gender marriage are wasting their time and money on a lost cause. “We can’t win this one,” the statement suggests. “So let’s not waste our resources trying.” For political activists whose primary task is to practice “the art of the politically possible,” it may be true that we have already lost this “marriage” battle in a big way. State-by-state data compiled by Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force shows how badly we are losing. Between 1995 and 1996, thirtyseven states considered bills against same-gender marriage. Sixteen states enacted those bills— one in 1995, fifteen in 1996, and all thirty-four of the remaining states are expected to take up such legislation this year. Last year in Washington, D.C., inspired by the same anti-homosexual rhetoric that motivates state legislators to pass bills against us, the U.S. Congress passed— and President Clinton signed into law— the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA). DOMA defines marriage exclusively in heterosexual terms and allows one state to not recognize a same-gender marriage considered legal in another. For the first time in our nation’s history, the U.S. Congress and the U.S. President combined their considerable powers to make lesbians and gays second-classcitizens in our own country. It is no wonder that political activists, realizing the near impossibility of turning back this anti-same-sex-marriage tide, are deciding to spend their time and money on getting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) passed. Of course we’re losing this marriage battle, but we must not leave the field. Remembering the Real Issue The real issue for our adversaries is not same-gender marriage. Last year they used the “threat” of gays and lesbians in the military to raise money and mobilize volunteers. Next year (or even sooner) they’ll be working to deny us our rights to child custody, foster care, and adoption. Issue by issue, they are working to turn the nation against us. They don’t really care if they win this anti-gay initiative or lose that court action. They simply use each campaign to drum their ultimate message home: homosexuality is a sickness and a sin. Their ultimate goal is to deny us all our civil rights if not to eliminate us altogether. Therefore, we can’t count our wins or losses in laws or court decisions either. We are spirit-based, “soul force” activists. Our goal is to change the minds and hearts of friends and foes alike. Our ultimate goal is to help create the beloved community where we can live side by side in peace with everyone, even our adversaries. To this end, win or lose, we go on presenting the truth in love relentlessly. By taking our stand with dignity and courage, by refusing to surrender and go back into our closets, by insisting that the rights we seek were endowed by our Creator and guaranteed by our Constitution, by refusing to stoop to physical or spiritual violence, we take the moral high ground. Eventually the nation sees by our example that the extremists do not speak the truth. I am grateful for our political activists who are struggling to defeat all these ugly and misinformed anti-gay marriage laws in every state. We should back their efforts faithfully with our time and our money. Give generously to Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, our national organization who is coordinating our state-by-state defense against these bills that deny us the rights of marriage. Send money to the Hawaii Marriage Project (where the battle began and continues to this day; see p. 15) and to the state and local organizations that are fighting this battle on our behalf. Write letters and e-mail to editors, to your national and state legislators, to the President, and to the clergy. Do what you can, but convincing the leaders to support our cause is not enough. We must also change the minds and hearts of the ‘real people,’ our friends and neighbors, especially those who come from religious traditions like our own. That’s our job as people of faith. These misinformed souls really believe the false and inflammatory rhetoric they see on Pat Robertson’s 700 Club2 and hear on James Dobson’s Focus on the Family (or from the pulpits and lecterns of our local churches). They have been convinced, quite incorrectly, that homosexuals are more promiscuous than heterosexuals, that all our relationships are unstable and short term, that we don’t honor or keep long term commitments, and that children are at risk when their parents are lesbians or gays. Rights and Protections Denied Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples (www.buddybuddy.com) uncovered approximately 175 to 250 rights and protections that same-sex couples are denied. A sampling is listed below.1 Automatic Inheritance Assumption of Spouse’s Pension Bereavement Leave Burial Determination Child Custody Divorce Protections Domestic Violence Protection Exemption from Property Tax on Partner’s Death Immigration Rights for Foreign Spouse Insurance Breaks Joint Adoption and Foster Care Joint Bankruptcy Joint Parenting (Insurance Coverage, School Records) Medical Decision on Behalf of Partner Various Property Rights Reduced Rate Memberships Sick Leave to Care for Partner Social Security Survivor Benefits Tax Breaks Visitation of Partner’s Children Visitation of Partner in Hospital or Prison. —Mel White Note 1However, a recent report by the General Accounting Office in Washington, D.C. named 1,049 federal laws that provide benefits, rights, and privileges based on a person’s marital status. Spring 1997 7 Changing Minds and Hearts We can only change the minds and the hearts of those who fear us when they know one or more of us personally; when they get acquainted with lesbians and gays who are sexually responsible; when they meet same-sex partners who are obviously committed to loyal, loving, long-term relationships; when they see our healthy, happy children and witness our commitment to them. Until our adversaries have a chance to know us personally, the gains we win through legislation or the courts are temporary at best. Here are four (rather obvious) suggestions of thingswe might do to change the minds and hearts of the people we know: 1. Coming out changes minds and hearts The extremists lose ground every time a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered person takes that first, scary step towards emancipation. Being honest about yourself is the only way to change the minds and hearts of your family and friends. But don’t do it for them. Do it for yourself. Living in a closet shrinks your soul and cripples your spirit. God created you and loves you exactly as you are. God has dreams for your life. Seeing those dreams come true can’t begin until you accept your sexual orientation as a gift from your Creator. Begin your journey towards fulfilling God’s dreams for you; and at the same time, let God use your life and example to bring justice for us all. 2. Holy unions change minds and hearts If you are contemplating a samesex holy union (or know someone who is), consider how powerful that event can be in combatting the lies about us. You can do so much to enlighten our family and friends about our family values with a public wedding. Ask your pastor to conduct your holy union in the church. If church leadership needs time to consider your request, give them the time they need, but stay after them. The discussions, and even churchwide studies, that may follow your request often lead to major breakthroughs for our community. When the date is decided, get your photo and a brief history of your relationship to your local papers (straight and gay/lesbian alike). If they won’t include it with the other wedding announcements, make a fuss until they do. Place your name in the various store registries and tell your friends to buy you something expensive. (Yah, right!) Our economic clout will also help change the minds of clerks, store managers, and managers of national chains and the huge corporations that own them. Invite your family and friends to your wedding, including those least likely to attend. For those who don’t come, send them a little “missed you” love note with a program and a photo, even an audio or a video tape. If you are really brave, send an invitation to your local TV or radio station news manager. Call a talk show host and offer to be interviewed. Do everything you can to say: “We love each other and we want the world to know it.” 3. Anniversary celebrations change minds and hearts Lesbian and gay couples who have been together ten, twenty, thirty, even fifty and sixty years are the greatest untapped resource we have for combatting the false rhetoric about our “unstable lifestyle” and ending this current war against us. Whether it’s your first anniversary or your fiftieth, invite family and friends to celebrate it with you. Or ask a long-term couple if you can plan a celebration for them. With their permission, get photos and brief bios to the newspapers. Let local (radio and TV) morning talk shows or regular news programs know that you will share your story publicly. Even if you don’t let the media know, celebrating the anniversaries of our loving commitments will make a lasting difference with family, friends, and neighbors. 4. Honest, thoughtful discussions change minds and hearts The entire country is talking about this same-gender marriage issue. Add your voice (even if you’re just asking honest questions). When you hear the issue raised, remind friends and foes alike that we’re not talking about marriage rites, but the rights that go with marriage. Review the sampling of rights (see p. 6) that lesbians and gays are denied. Consider the tragic consequences of second- class citizenship in your life, in the lives of those you love. Share the truth in love relentlessly. One last thing. An honest conversation among ourselves about marriage is long overdue. How do you feel about lesbians and gays getting married? Do you believe in long term, loyal, committed relationships? Are you willing to take on the moral and legal responsibilities that go with marriage if and when we are granted that right? What are the principles that guide your most intimate behaviors? While the battle rages, there may not be time to sit down calmly and discuss the current state of same-sex relationships, but it is certainly a task that our faith-based organizations must take on. ▼ Notes 1See John Boswell, Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe (New York: Villard, 1994). 2In 1996 we produced a 30-minute video demonstrating and responding to Pat Robertson’s false and inflammatory rhetoric against lesbians and gays, other minorities, and women. To order The Rhetoric of Intolerance (and a 12-page user’s guide) send $5.55 (for duplicating, packaging, and mailing) to VIDEO, P.O. Box 4467, Laguna Beach CA 92652. For more information, see Mels Justice Net Homepage: www.melwhite.org. Mel White serves as justice minister for the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. He is the author of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. 8 Open Hands In recent years there has been considerable discussion in the public forum concerning “family values.” This phrase has served to claim an assumed moral high ground for those who express conservative views, a focal point for those espousing centrist views, and a battle cry for extremists. For many such persons, family values are centered around heterosexual marriage. This may explain why this standard has emerged in recent months as the raison d’être for those who have fought against same-sex marriages and the legalization of rights for persons in committed same-sex relationships. Under the banner of family values the public discussion has been shifted from one of “rights” and “the nature of covenants or commitments” to the gender of the individuals in such relationships. While this shift is regrettable, the ongoing discussion does open the possibility of examining the meaning of family, marriage, and covenantal relationships. One need not be conservative politically or religiously to argue that heterosexual marriage is in serious trouble. The conclusion, though, that heterosexual marriage is in trouble because of same-sex covenantal relationships, or that heterosexual marriage would be in deeper trouble through the recognition of same-sex marriages, is fallacious. Heterosexual marriage is in trouble as a result of a complex series of sociological and cultural circumstances and is not under attack by same sex marriages. In fact, the examination of what it means for one person to be in covenant with another person, regardless of gender, may be a helpful tool in repairing heterosexual marriage. One of the first steps in such an examination is to take a closer look at the image of “family” in our society, and to ask the question: “Is this image realistic, adequate, and sustainable?” Family Image: A Look Back An old cliché describes a traditional family as a man, a woman— married of course— 1.8 children, a dog, a cat, and a Dodge mini-van in the garage. While stereotypic, this image is instructive. What becomes immediately obvious is that this description is of an idealized, white, middle-class family— a modern-day version of the 1950s sitcoms “Ozzie and Harriet” or “Leave It to Beaver.” In the haze of familiarity few seem to remember, perhaps even to know, that this stereotypic family of the 1950s was a new model for the family. Prior to the Second World War the predominant model was one of an extended family, with multiple generations present in the same household, all struggling together to make ends meet. Such a family setting was portrayed in the popular television program “The Waltons.” Following the war the economy boomed. With the increase in financial opportunities, newly forming families were encouraged to move out of the multi-generational setting and to establish independent homesteads. Such changes were encouraged by generous financial support from a federal government deeply appreciative of the efforts of those who went to war and those who supported the war efforts. Along with the rise of independent households came a new set of values. No longer were persons satisfied with merely getting along. Stephanie Coontz suggests that there was interest in “producing a whole world of satisfaction, amusement, and inventiveness within the nuclear family…”1 The radio or newspaper was being replaced by television, and the traveling amusement show was replaced by a trip to Disneyland. The automobile moved from luxury, to necessity, to means of expression. The suburbs emerged in response to a new-found freedom and as a result of sociological changes in the cities. The values which were developing from changing economic and sociological realities had no precedent in our history and made a significant impact on the development of the family. Many of the characteristics of the idealized family can be traced into the nineteenth century. As Coontz described in “The Way We Never Were,” the model Victorian middle-class family included the role of the woman as a pampered keeper of the household. Status was determined by the ability to have servants doing the household chores while the man worked outside the home. In the 1950s the gender roles remained basically the same, with the man working outside the home, and the woman, now without servants, serving as the functionary for completing the household chores. Middle-class white families were understood to be centers of domestic tranquillity and familial stability, while ethnic or working class families were thought to be chaotic and unstable.2 The images of tranquil middle-class white families are nostalgically and tenaciously held on to by many of those espousing “family values.” For many persons, though, reality was not as kind as the image. Many of the problems facing families, including violence, divorce, poverty, and abandonment were to be found lurking just below the tranquil surface. Church Image: A Look Back While the 1950s may not have been as idyllic a time as memory paints them, they were a time in which the middle class invested its time and money in the church. Established congregations flourished with middle-class families serving as willing workers and as the economic engines. Peak member- By David Belt The Church and Covenant Relationships: Moving Toward a Renewed Understanding Spring 1997 9 ship often occurred in established churches in the 1950s and early 1960s. New churches began to be built in the suburbs as families left their parental homes and struck out on their own. Church leaders were drawn from these ranks, and have only recently, and often reluctantly, begun to pass on the baton of leadership. Even though this leadership change is now well underway, the values by which these persons lived, and the images of church and family which predominated in their midst, are found to be deeply embedded in the collective memory and structure of congregations. However, the world in which this generation flourished no longer predominates and likely will not be re-created. A new generation of church leadership is left with the task of establishing its own leadership priorities, which includes examination of these images and values for their usefulness in response to today’s reality. This is a process which may well trigger fear of abandoning ethical and moral standards understood as traditional and/or eternal. It is important that new leadership define values and describe models which are relevant to today, and which represent a more complete view of family and covenant. Marriage Re-examined In addition to re-evaluating family models, marriage, as an institution is in need of re-examination. Seldom has there been a monolithic view of the relationship of the church to marriage. Early church eschatological thinking went so far as to suggest that marriage was not particularly helpful, perhaps even dangerous, to the faith of the individuals involved (see 1 Corinthians 7). For many centuries in western Europe, marriage was understood as a civil arrangement in which the church played a minimal role. Marriage “services” were the province of the local secular authorities and involved contractual relationships between families dealing primarily with property. Roman secular authorities conducted marriage services for Christians in the first centuries of the Common Era. Such services had little impact on the faith communities. Even after the church became more involved in marriage services, they continued to reflect the practices of the Roman state.3 The reliance on secular practices for marriage services has resulted in a “curious amalgam of Christian and pagan elements” even to this day.4 According to James F. White, the pagan elements include some of the more familiar elements of modern marriage ceremonies, including: the joining of hands and giving of rings; the wedding banquet with a wedding cake; throwing of rice— a fertility symbol; giving the bride away; bridesmaids dressed alike to confuse evil spirits; the use of a wedding veil to confuse evil spirits; and the offering of money.5 Only slowly did the church take over the primary responsibility for the performance of wedding ceremonies. This change occurred because of a need in the developing legal systems for written documents authenticating the marriage. In many localities one of the few persons who could read and write was the priest. In order for the marriage to be authenticated, the priest had to be present to witness the ceremony and compose the necessary documentation. At first these ceremonies took place in secular places, eventually moving to the steps of the church in order that they might be in the sight of God. The move inside the church resulted from the priest beginning to offer a mass for the couple following the wedding, with the service outside the church and the mass inside.6 During the English Reformation of the sixteenth century, the entire wedding was finally moved into the church. During this time the marriage rite was quite explicit about the intent of marriage as an institution. For example, the rite of the Church of England, still in use, has the line, “with this ring I thee wed.” The next line, “with my body I thee worship,” clearly indicates the sexual nature of the intent for marriage.7 The Reformation was clear that marriage involved sex and was to result in children. The purposes of marriage, according to Reformation leaders, was to: (1) produce children; (2) prevent fornication; and (3) provide mutual help and comfort. English Puritans reversed the order, placing mutual help and comfort first.8 To this day there are persons who would argue the order of these purposes. Ethicist James B. Nelson notes that “…there is little doubt that the present confusion about marriage (and sexual morality in general) is intimately linked with the changing functions and perceptions of the family in our society.”9 Some segments of society have begun to realize the efficacy of broadening the definitions of family, and hence the nature of marriage, to include non-traditional family units. The broadening of the definitions has led to an acknowledgment of the importance and legitimacy of persons choosing to remain single. Families are now beginning to be accepted as including single adults with children, same-sex families, and same-sex families with children. If Nelson is correct, though, such changes will be more than enough to create confusion and consternation for the traditionalist. Changing definitions have also caused a re-evaluation of the meaning and content of marriage rituals. Many clergy have begun to question the nature of the relationship which exists between the state and the church as regards marriage. The state clearly has an interest in establishing the lines of legal and contractual relationships. However, with the decline in numbers of secular officials with the authority or the interest in conducting marriages, it could be argued that clergy have become functionaries of the state. In most localities, the county provides legal documentation to heterosexual couples more ➟ Shifting Justification for Sex …Once same-sex couples can marry, marriage and divorce laws can never again be defined either by the expectation of childbearing or by gender…. Legal same-sex marriage would ratify the… idea that sex is justified instead by the personal happiness of the pair, that interests of the state, family, or property cannot usurp the instructions of the heart…. —E.J. Graff “Something Old…Something New” Ms. May/June 1996, p. 94 10 Open Hands seeking to be married and clergy are required to sign these documents for the marriage to be declared “legal.” (Of course, a couple may still go to a civil “justice of the peace” if one is to be found.) Without these signed documents a couple is not understood to be “legally” married, regardless of what has transpired in sacred ritual. When pressed, persons may acknowledge the validity of being married in the eyes of the church, though seldom would that be understood as “enough.” This has enabled secular authorities to examine the credentials of clergy in order to authorize his or her performance of “legal” marriages, and has blurred the relationship between church and state. The powers of the state to declare legality, to legislate who may legally marry, and to control the clergy in their participation in marriages, along with the continued use of pagan rituals in marriage, indicates that the state of marriage is more secular than sacred. Serving as an exclamation point is the fact that most clergy have had the experience of persons requesting to be married in the church who have never crossed the threshold of a sanctuary, and are likely only to do so again when they are in need of funeral service. The church, by participating in this current, tangled arrangement, not only perpetuates the confusion, but functions as an unpaid agent of the state in property matters. I believe it is clearly time to reestablish the priority of the sacred understanding of marriage as covenantal relationship, regardless of the desires of the state. Covenantal Relationship Explored Holy scripture is clear in its understanding of the importance of covenantal relationships. In scripture such relationships were first established between God and humans, and then between humans. Covenants are central to Judaism, with those established between God and Noah; God and Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and God and Israel as paradigmatic examples. Christianity also honors covenants, both by the extension of the covenants between God and Israel, and with the establishment of covenant through Jesus Christ. The word covenant comes from a Hebrew word which primarily means “a binding pact,” the parties of the pact binding themselves to one another.10 Covenants made between humans are understood to be bound by the terms accepted at the time of ratification. When the covenant is made between God and humans, the terms are those stipulated by God, with humans having the option of accepting or rejecting those terms, though not of changing the terms. Acceptance of the terms stipulated by God will result in being blessed, so long as the covenantal terms are kept, while non-acceptance or breaking of the terms will result in being cursed.11 A similar understanding, that of being blessed by covenant adherence and cursed by non-adherence, exists in covenants between humans. The centrality of covenant to the Christian faith community is exemplified by the use of covenantal language in its liturgical resources. The services of Holy Eucharist contained in The United Methodist Hymnal all use covenantal language, both implicit and explicit, in the Great Thanksgiving, the central part of the service. Similarly, the services of baptism are found under the title, “The Baptismal Covenant,” and make several references to covenant. Particularly relevant to this article, the current Service of Christian Marriage of the United Methodist Church includes rubrics indicating Christian marriage is to be understood as a “…sacred covenant reflecting Christ’s covenant within the church.”12 In its introduction to marriage services, The United Methodist Book of Worship indicates the “Christian marriage is proclaimed as a sacred covenant reflecting the Baptismal Covenant.”13 Informing this use of covenantal language is a theological understanding of mutually affirming, Spring 1997 11 loving relationships in which the participants bind themselves to one another in a manner which reflects the ideal relationship between God and humans. In essence, such affirming, supportive, loving relationships are the visible manifestation of God’s love toward us and serve as a harbinger of the eschatological consummation of that relationship. …I do not unite the covenant members, they unite themselves. Covenant is established between two or more parties; in the case of marriage, between two persons. The presence of clergy in covenant/marriage services is to provide the church’s formal liturgical blessing over the public proclamation of the established covenant, and to represent the community of faith in this sacred moment. For the past several years I have told the persons establishing covenant, and those gathered to witness the vows of covenant, that I do not unite the covenant members, they unite themselves. My function is to join in their celebration and to offer the church’s blessings and admonitions to faithfulness. I am not able to bind them in a unique manner. No waving of my hands or speaking of certain words will establish a covenant that does not exist or prolong a covenant that has ended. Only the constant work of both parties will be able to accomplish the work of covenant. While I believe covenants are intended to be established for life, when one or both persons no longer uphold the covenant by being faithful, supportive, affirming, and loving, that covenant no longer exists. The presence of a signed, secular document does not alter that reality. Neither does the fact that the service of covenant took place in the presence of, or at the direction of, clergy. There are many examples of covenant relationships which have become destructive relationships, and whose covenantal relationships are clearly broken, even though the legal entity continues to exist. As such, these relationships no longer adequately represent Where Does Your Denomination Stand? Here is a brief summary of several denominational stances on issues of same-sex unions. American Baptist: Has two official General Board Resolutions. One states “We affirm that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” The other, in part, calls on American Baptists to “acknowledge that there exists a variety of understandings throughout our denomination on issues of human sexuality such as homosexuality” and to “respect and defend the individual integrity of all persons within our denomination and their Christian commitment as we engage the issue of human sexuality.” Neither is binding on churches/individual Baptists; they do affect policies of national staff. Disciples of Christ: Has no public policy directly related to same-sex unions. The general civil rights resolution (1977, 1993) does not include anything about same-sex relationships. United Church of Christ: In 1996, two national agencies adopted policy statements affirming equal rights for same-sex couples. An educational/advocacy campaign, “Equal Rights In Covenant Life” is beginning. General Synod has made no policy statement on same sex marriage. United Methodist Church: In 1996 General Conference affirmed “the sanctity of the marriage covenant that is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman…. Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall not be conducted in our churches.” It is unclear how or whether this statement can be enforced since it is a “Social Principles” resolution which does not have the weight of church law. God’s covenant with humanity, though they may quite adequately represent the broken nature of humanity. For these reasons, there appears no justification for denying persons of the same gender the opportunity to be united in a holy union. A covenant established between persons of the same gender can be just as fulfilling as those established by heterosexual persons. They should be recognized as being just as valid. It seems inappropriate for the church to be engaged in supporting the state in denying the right of persons to establish covenants. If more attention were paid to developing a greater appreciation for the significance of covenant and its relationship to the covenant between God and humanity, both holy unions and heterosexual marriages would benefit. ▼ Notes 1Stephanie Coontz, “The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trip” in Family: Drawing the Circle Wide, eds. J. Ann Craig and Linda S. Elmiger (New York: General Board of Global Ministries, 1994), p. 53. 2Coontz, p. 54. 3James B. Nelson, Embodiment: An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology (Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1978), p. 132. 4James F. White, Introduction to Christian Worship (Nashville: Abingdon, 1986), p. 238. 5White, p. 239. 6White, p. 240. 7White, p. 241. 8White, pp. 244-245. 9 Nelson, p. 130. 10John R. McRay, “Covenant” in The Dictionary of Bible and Religion, ed. William H. Gentz (Nashville: Abingdon, 1989), p. 229. 11White, p. 229. 12The United Methodist Hymnal (Nashville: The United Methodist Publishing House, 1989), p. 864. 13The United Methodist Book of Worship (Nashville: The United Methodist Publishing House, 1992), p. 115. David Belt is pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church, a reconciling congregation in Kansas City, Missouri. 12 Open Hands Consider the context: here, in the twentieth century, there is a large segment of people, perhaps 10 percent of the population, who acknowledge a same-gender sexual orientation. For this, they are being denounced, vilified, discriminated against, and subjected to emotional and physical violence by society in general. What is an appropriate Christian response to this cultural reality? Instead of being precise about defining the legalisms, the limits, and the punitive consequences of specific actions, we as Christians are constrained to consider this issue within the context of the Christian faith. We worship a God beyond words and beyond legalisms, a God with whom we can commune and from whom we can seek guidance. We worship a God who has come, who continues to come…an immanent God, a God-with-us. This is the truth which Christ came to demonstrate, to teach, and to be. God was in Christ. Christ was God incarnate when he walked among people during his earthly life in his earthly, physical body. After his death, the community of believers became his “Now Body” in the world and were commissioned to continue the witness and ministry which Christ lived out during his time on earth in his “Then Body.” Therefore, for Christians, the basic question, the prior question with regard to all decisions and behaviors, is “What would Jesus do?” What Would Jesus Do? For help in answering this question, we turn to the Gospels to immerse ourselves in the accounts of Jesus’ life and words, praying that the Holy Spirit will be our interpreter as we read. We understand that this will be a spiritual journey and not just an intellectual exercise. What do we see of Christ in the Gospels? We see a person who always goes out to the disenfranchised, the marginal, the shunned, the sinners. His message was unfailingly a message of invitation—“Come”—and his pre-eminent warnings were against exclusion, judgment, legalisms, spiritual self-righteousness, and pride. As far as we know, Jesus never spoke about homosexuality. Issues involving human relationships are where the church gets to act out the gospel claim that Christ receives “all sorts and conditions of people” equally, not with a surreptitious intention to change those people or to subject them to some formula which scrutinizes whether they are, in fact, “worthy.” The guarantee of Jesus’ acceptance is that it is unconditional. Looking at the life and ministry of Jesus we see that the “good people,” the scribes and Pharisees, didn’t seem to mind much when Jesus talked about “whosoever” and about going out to fetch lost sheep, but when he actually sat down to eat, to “consort,” with the outcasts and sinners, a new dimension was introduced. It was the dimension of personal involvement, of acting out. Here, for all to see, was graphic correlation of word and act. Here, “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth.” Here was a demonstration of the perfect integration between how Jesus spoke and how he lived. It was the Word made plain. And it was this “acting out” which infuriated the religious leaders of history. Those meals which Jesus shared with “all sorts and conditions of people” were social occasions with highly symbolic content. They were graphic pictures of genuine acceptance which put reality and life into his words of love, inclusion, and welcome…words which would have rung with a hollow sound in the ears of the rejected masses without the demonstration of their reality. “As acts of joy and of deadly protest against the old order, these meals became parables of the reconciling presence of God in the midst of humanity.”1 Concerns and Responses While 98 percent of the voting Pullen Memorial Baptist Church membership affirmed that “all are welcome and accepted into the worship and fellowship of the Pullen community,” and while 93 percent affirmed “the participation of gay men and lesbians in our congregational life together,” many could not bring themselves to “support and affirm the blessing of same-gender union” and could not support the proposition “that no rituals of the church be denied to any member of Pullen on the basis of sexual orientation alone.” Plaintive questions were often heard. “Why can’t they be content with what’s been offered? Why did they push us so far? Haven’t we done enough already?” For those who had extended themselves to affirm acceptance and participation by homosexuals, the request that the church bless a same-gender covenant seemed an audacious affront. Might it not be possible that this “acting out love” is a witness which our world twenty centuries later needs badly? Might not a church’s reconciling words and welcoming statements made in the name of our Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, and Friend be made graphic and authentic through the total and unequivocal inclusion of homosexual people within the fellowship? Might not going the second mile in blessing a same-gender covenant serve the same purpose for our day that was served by Jesus’ public socializing with marginalized people in his day? Might it not be a sign to the world that a particular body of believers accepts the responsibility of living out the redemptive (often casually used) “good news” words? Other concerns of those who disagreed with Pullen’s decision relate to Pullen’s witness to the world. What kind of message does this send? How can the congregation have the effrontery to By Miriam H. Prichard The Prior Question: A Theological Basis for Blessing Same-Gender Covenants Spring 1997 13 flout cultural norms and traditions? Isn’t it raw ignorance to bypass longheld, time-honored, basically unquestioned principles? In a remarkably comparable incident recorded in Mark 7, Jesus addressed this issue. He was being chastened for a societal infraction which set aside the tradition of the elders. When he was asked, “Why do your disciples not conform to the ancient tradition…?”, Jesus answered, “You neglect the commandment of God in order to maintain the tradition of men…. How well you set aside the commandment of God in order to maintain your tradition!” (Mark 7 5, 8-9, NEB). Clearly, Jesus is saying that the discerning Christian must not substitute the comfort of traditional religious ideas for the arduous spiritual journey into present revelation. A Complex, Risky Quest Some suggest that the query, “What would Jesus do?” is too simplistic. On the contrary, seriously asking the question launches one on a complex and risky quest. Those who ask this prior question must endeavor to learn from extant records of the life and teaching of Jesus what he might do today in each present problematical situation as it arises. This is a daunting task and one which must be approached with a high degree of faith, humility, and caution. This is also a lonely quest because it is a quest predicated on a personal response to the Event of Jesus Christ. In this regard, it is much like the initial conversion experience. Neither the quest nor the outcome can be directed or mediated by another or by creeds, rules, or institutional proclamations. Here, the doctrine of the individual priesthood of believers becomes deeply personal. How can this question be answered? Won’t any answer, at best, be but conjecture…a pitting of perspectives as multitudes of people arrive at widely differing conclusions? Perhaps, but this is the Christian way…that each person answer for his or her particular time and situation, the penetrating searching question which Jesus put to his disciples. Not merely, “Who do these people say that I am?”— but more importantly— “Who do you say that I am? Who am I to you?” If Christians approached every life decision by way of “the prior question,” perhaps there would be a new relevance, vitality, and spiritual awakening within the Christian community. The tired old mode of addressing issues in terms of expedience, convenience, and public approbation would give way to soulsearching appraisals of what must be done by the Now Body of Christ living and witnessing in the present world. Specific Guidance In sum, what specific guidance can be found in the recorded life of Jesus which has relevance for Christians grappling with the issue of blessing same-gender covenants? 1) Jesus always positioned himself on the opposite side of the powerful majority and always on the side of the devalued members of society. 2) Jesus not only spoke on behalf of the sinners, shunned and disregarded, but he demonstrated his acceptance by extending his friendship on social occasions. 3) Jesus was forthright about his priorities, setting aside those conventional mores of the day that he interpreted as being opposed to the “commandment of God.” 4) Jesus reminded his disciples that they must make a personal response to him. In effect, he said, “It doesn’t matter what other people say about me. What do you say?” In an age of bland and commercialized religion which normally is viewed as following a set of rules and standards which most “good” people would agree Vows of Commitment Out of all the people in my life, I choose you, (Beth/Kathie), to be my partner in this relationship of commitment. I, (Beth/Kathie), commit to you my deepest devotion, as a partner, lover and friend. I promise to work, play and dream with you, with passion and honesty, and to stand by you through times of difficulty and sorrow. I will do my best to understand and honor the essential (Beth/Kathie), to pay tender attention to what makes you you, and to help discern what you need to thrive and grow. I pledge to take care of myself. It is only when I am true to myself and love myself that I can support and love you the way you deserve to be loved. I promise to love, honor, and tolerate you. [As anticipated, this got a laugh…] With the help of the source of all love, I will work to make this commitment lifelong. —Beth Healy and Kathie Hopkins Source Vows are reprinted from “Take My Life as My Vow,” Crossbeams (September/October 1996), p. 3. Crossbeams is a newsletter of the Gay, Lesbian and Affirming Disciples Alliance. Used with permission. DANCING TOWARD COMMITMENT: Beth Healy (left) and Kathie Hopkins dance down the aisle as their ceremony begins. more ➟ 14 Open Hands Legal Considerations Most people are familiar with the privileges and responsibilities of marriage. Many are not aware of the practical problems gay couples face because they have no legal recognition. For instance, a gay spouse is not legally next of kin and may not be admitted to intensive care to see his/her spouse in case of critical injury or illness unless the partner’s family grants permission. A natural parent who is gay or lesbian can be denied custody of his or her children solely on that basis, without regard to behavior. Gay partners cannot file joint tax returns. If a gay or lesbian partner dies intestate, the partner inherits nothing. If a gay partner is specified in a will, an estate under $600,000 will pay inheritance tax not required if a married spouse inherited. Gay partners may have to buy two insurance policies to protect their belongings in a single household. If a lesbian or gay couple adopts a child, the adoption must be a single parent adoption by one of them. The other partner has no legally recognized relationship to the child. If a gay natural or adoptive parent dies, the surviving partner has no custody rights over the children, even though he or she has lived with them and been a parent to them. A gay man or lesbian cannot cover a partner or a partner’s child on a health insurance policy. Gay couples with children do not qualify for family membership rates. Special benefits (such as travel to conventions, purchase discounts, flying free) extended by employers to employees’ husbands or wives are generally not extended to gay partners. If a gay man or lesbian is fired from a job or evicted from an apartment solely because his/ her orientation becomes known, there is no legal recourse under federal law…. Reporting anti-gay violence to police may result in prosecution of the victim rather than the assailant. We [the Pullen Memorial Baptist Church Task Force on Same-Gender Covenants] believe these circumstances do not provide fair and equal treatment under the law for all citizens. We would like to see a society whose laws encourage the establishment and maintenance of permanent relationships and stable families, whether the adult partners are same-gender or opposite-gender. Such legal provisions could reduce the promiscuity in both the homosexual and the heterosexual communities. In a few places, domestic partnership legislation [or extension of benefits by corporations] already allows responsible nontraditional families of various kinds to assume the duties and privileges enjoyed by traditional families…. But beyond the need for legal remedies, we recognize the need for a change in society. We hope our action will contribute to new attitudes that more nearly reflect the coming of God’s kingdom: respect for all persons, appreciation of diversity, faithfulness to commitments, and recognition of our common humanity…so that we may become more truly the body of Christ. ▼ Source This material is excerpted from a longer article published in Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants, a task force report of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. Used with permission. Patricia V. Long, who grew up in Virginia, is an office manager in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is a member (since 1979) and former deacon of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church. She is the author of Enlarging the Circle, the story of the process by which her congregation decided to offer celebrations of committed same-sex relationships in the church. She and her partner were the second couple to have such a service at Pullen. on, it is a challenge, opportunity, and inspiration to be part of a congregation where one is straight-forwardly confronted with the ultimate ethical question, “What would Jesus do?” ▼ Note 1Joseph Weber, A Biblical Basis for Reconciling Ministries. This article was written by the late Dr. Joseph C. Weber, Professor of Biblical Theology at Wesley Theological Seminary, and originally published in Manna for the Journey, vol. 1(1). A copy of this paper may be obtained from the Reconciling Congregation Program, 3801 North Keeler, Chicago IL 60641. Source This article is reprinted from Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants, Task Force Report of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church, Raleigh, North Carolina, Submitted April 1993. Used with permission. Miriam H. Prichard is a long-time Pullen member who came to North Carolina from Mississippi by way of Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. Now retired from the Wake County School System, she is married and the mother of two children. Closing Words Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness. Now you are two people, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of yours lives together. And may your days be good, and long upon the earth. —Apache prayer Source “Sample Service IX” in Same-Gender Services of Union: A Planning Resource from the Office of Lesbian & Gay Concerns. A booklet published by the Unitarian Universalist Association. By Patricia V. Long Spring 1997 15 Today’s public legal debate about same-sex marriage began in Hawaii in 1990 when a gay male couple and two lesbian couples requested marriage licenses from the state health department. In 1991, when their applications were denied (as expected), the couples appealed to the Hawaii Supreme Court. The state supreme court ruled in May 1993 in the case of Baehr v. Lewin that denying same-sex couples the right to marry amounts to unconstitutional discrimination on the basis of sex (not sexual orientation) unless the state could show a compelling interest in such denials. The case was returned to a lower court, the First Circuit Court of Judge Kevin S. C. Chang, for the state to try to show such compelling interest. Meanwhile in 1995 one state enacted a bill against same-sex marriage and refused to honor such marriages done in other states. In 1996, fifteen additional states enacted similar legislation. Legislators in the remaining thirty-four states are expected to introduce bills in 1997. In 1996, the U.S. Congress passed the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA) and President Clinton signed it. This act defined marriage as a union between one man and one woman and allows a state to not recognize a samesex marriage from another state. In September 1996, Judge Chang heard the arguments of the state of Hawaii. The state argued that Hawaii has a compelling interest in fostering and protecting children and that samesex marriage is incompatible with that goal. On 22 November, a Hawaiian Commission on Sexual Orientation and the Law, appointed by the governor, recommended legalizing same-sex marriage and noted that the Baehr v. Lewin case is “a close parallel” to a landmark ruling in Loving v. Virginia (where the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 1967 that “There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose” for the state of Virginia to prohibit marriage between a white person and a person of another race). Judge Chang on 3 December rejected the argument of the state of Hawaii. He found that “the sexual orientation of parents does not automatically disqualify them from being good, fit, loving, or successful parents” and in fact that children may be assisted because they would be able to obtain protections and benefits that come with marriage. He also noted that in Hawaii and elsewhere people marry for a variety of reasons: having or raising children; stability and commitment; emotional closeness; intimacy and monogamy; the establishment of a framework for a long-term relationship; personal significance; recognition by society; and certain legal and economic protections, benefits, and obligations. He ordered Hawaii to begin issuing same-sex couples licenses immediately. This ruling was a first from a judge in the United States. The next day Chang put the effects of his decision on hold while state officials appeal to Hawaii’s Supreme Court. He said that it would be confusing if gay couples got married and then the high court overturned his ruling. —Editor LOOKING FOR MORE IN LIFE? Retreats/Workshops Gay Men Coming Together in Psycho-Spiritual Community to: * Explore * Challenge * Empower * Encourage * Support * Grow Free Calendar & Brochure Call * 914-439-5815 * Dawn Manor Country Retreat Center Livingston, New York The Hawaii Case: A Summary AD 16 Open Hands Bates, Lee and Wilson has a decorum for it— a long front row of seats— family together— then a space and a single chair for the partner, the roommate, the friend. but usually I am instructed not to say anything about the one who buys the flowers and cries the tears. What kind of secret is love? Two schoolteachers in their nineties from Burlington, a store clerk and a bank teller, a public health nurse and a history instructor— stories of tenderness and trust and hiding so often hover in the over-breathed funeral parlor air, but are not spoken. But this morning will be different. Phil was born and raised in Berwick, used to baby-sit his niece and nephews— more a kid than they. they say he taught them to crack raw eggs on their heads. loved to gamble— roulette, the nightly numbers. soft-spoken. never vindictive. traveled to Florida, Vegas, the Islands. owned his own shop in Kennebunk, retired at sixty, managed a motel for a while. loved David for twenty-seven years, Companions. David was not sure if Phil was Protestant or Catholic. he lived a simple life, decent, kind, full of laughter, the golden rule. sometimes they went to Christmas midnight mass. Bates, Lee and Wilson thought— under the circumstances— Protestant would be safer. I would be safer. And as profligate as the casket spray of sixty-four yellow roses that counted out Phil’s years in beauty, and the suddenly spring-warm of a day with the smell of sea salting the air for burying, is the gift of my freedom to mention—somewhere between the gentle laughter-anecdote about lucky numbers and the dust and ashes prayer where words wound to force an ending— God’s extravagance of embrace for men who love men and women who love women, and these two gentlemen who have been for more than a quarter of a century sharing bread with one another. ▼ Maren C. Tirabassi is a poet and teaches poetry in schools and prisons. She is pastor of Northwood Congregational UCC in Northwood, New Hampshire. By Maren C. Tirabassi “one who shares bread with” Companions Sharing the Stories Spring 1997 17 I had this conversation during the break at the General Conference of the United Methodist Church in April 1996. The delegates had just defeated a proposal that would have allowed United Methodist clergy to officiate at same-gender marriages. He walked away and I was plagued again with the thought that I hadn’t been able to explain my willingness to do weddings for gay and lesbian couples. After General Conference I reflected on this and other conversations. I knew I needed to move my commitment for the care of gays and lesbians from my heart to my head. I needed to find the words to support my convictions. I needed words that encourage people to listen to my position and hopefully to join with me in working toward opening the ministry of the church to all persons. The question “will it last” seems rather foolish. Statistically about one half of all two-gender marriages end in divorce. I’m not sure that the church, or at least some clergy, is concerned with that question as they continue to officiate at one marriage after another. Some clergy change their practice of premarital counseling to almost nothing as they become discouraged with the lack of impact it has on the lives of persons. Some clergy feel that the wedding is a time for people to “use the church” for the beauty and pomp of the wedding. They are moving in the direction of doing weddings as a legal benefit. The Christian wedding is more than a legal action for the benefit of the state and the couple. It is a covenantal agreement witnessed by the church. That covenant is between the couple by and with God. God then participates in the daily life of the couple and provides the element of grace to enable them to forgive, hope, work, and love together. That energy from God for these things, when acknowledged and therefore used as a resource, can help marriages work even today. When the institutional church denies marriage to gays and lesbians, it is as if the church is saying some people are unworthy of that grace of God. That is a direct contradiction to what the church states in other ways. This is a place where the church needs to put its claims into practice. When the church withholds “a means of God’s grace,” we are making choices for God. The grace of God is the source of strength for any person to keep a promise. By denying a covenantal marriage service, we are limiting the possibilities of how the church can work in peoples lives. We are trying to control how God will work in the lives of God’s people. It is not the responsibility of the church to judge or reject the love of any person for another. It is the responsibility of the church to nurture and support every act of love. Jesus said, “I did not come to end the law but to fulfill it.” Love of God and others as self is the fulfillment of the law. Why do we find Two Men’s Devotion Kyle Swihart writes of his and Charles Brown’s commitment ceremony in Dallas, Texas. “…The ceremony…was written by God through me. It was something that I prayed about many times…. Scriptures, messages, and feelings were conveyed to me. They were conveyed without any warning but it was apparent that they were intended to be in our ceremony. Our ceremony was…intended to proclaim our devotion to God, to ourselves, and to each other, but we knew there would be an opportunity to touch others who were attending….” Source “Two Men’s Devotion to God and Each Other” in Crossbeams (September/October 1996), p. 3. Crossbeams is a newsletter of the Gay, Lesbian and Affirming Disciples Alliance. Used with permission. “What do you think of these gay marriages?” “Well, ah, I’m in favor of them. I mean, I would be willing to perform a marriage for a gay or lesbian couple.” “But will it last?” “What do you mean?” “Will they make a lifelong commitment?” “I think so….” it so difficult to understand and support acts of love? The question for the church is not “Will it last?” The question is “What can the church do to help every person fulfill commitments to others?” I believe the answer is to recognize the capability and need for each person to be in a loving relationship. Then do all that can be done to support each person. Reclaim the authority of the church to validate the covenant of marriage. Make the channel of the covenant— marriage— available for all people, straight or gay, and acknowledge that God’s love and grace are for all. ▼ Tom Boller is a district superintendent in the Yellowstone Conference of the United Methodist Church. His charge conference is Huntley United Methodist Church in Huntley, Montana. By Tom Boller The Wrong Question 18 Open Hands At temple Beth-El, the large synagogue in the New York suburbs where I served as associate rabbi before I came to Austin, it was the custom, several times a year, to invite couples celebrating “milestone” anniversaries to attend a special Friday night service. My senior rabbi, Jerome Davidson, would read the names of the couples and they would rise one at a time. He would begin with partners that had been married five years, then ten, fifteen, twenty, and so on. It was always a unique kind of joy to see the couples getting older and older. Occasionally, we’d be lucky enough to witness an elderly pair married fifty-five or even sixty years slowly rising to their feet to be honored. It was always an awesome, moving sight; the congregation would softly “ooh” and “ahh.” Then Rabbi Davidson would read a prayer about “the joys shared and the dark times overcome,” concluding with a plea for God’s continued protection and guidance. An old acquaintance of mine whom I shall call Barry Gold was (and still is) one of the most active, caring, visible members of Temple Beth-El. Barry holds his Ph.D. in Theater Studies. He was a former Sunday school teacher and a volunteer on many temple committees. He is a “character” in the best sense of the word, and a good Jewish soul. Another old acquaintance from my Long Island days, a successful attorney whom I’ll call Jeff Schwartz, also was (and still is) an active and stalwart member of Temple Beth-El. Jeff often served as a member of the usher corps at Beth-El, and I can still picture him greeting worshippers as they entered the impressive Beth-El sanctuary on a Friday night. His hearty “Hello, Steve” and friendly handshake are etched into my memory. Seven or eight years ago, Barry and Jeff approached Rabbi Davidson with a special request. They had been a monogamous, loving, committed Jewish couple for twenty years. They honored Shabbat and the Jewish holidays in their home and in their congregation. I can still in fact picture them sitting together on the far right of the sanctuary, tenth or twelfth row back, every Friday night. And so they asked Rabbi Davidson if he would consider allowing them to rise at the next milestone anniversary service to be blessed in the sight of the congregation. I’m sure that Rabbi Davidson and I must have discussed the question, although the substance of those discussions has faded from my memory. What I do remember—and will never forget— is the Ritual Committee meeting at which we discussed the issue of Barry and Jeff’s milestone anniversary blessing. After explaining the request which had been made of him, Rabbi Davidson began the meeting with the following words: “Friends, I’m going to do this blessing for Barry and Jeff because I believe that is the right thing to do. What I want to discuss with you is how I should carry this out. That’s what I want to hear your feelings on tonight.” You can probably imagine how tense that meeting was. You know: the kinds of meetings or conversations from which you emerge with those huge, embarrassing perspiration rings under your arms?… Yes, that intense! One of the things that I learned that night, and have learned again since, is that when it comes to questions surrounding gay issues, a person’s age or even general political leanings are not necessarily predictive of their attitudes; not the least, when the issue ceases to be theoretical and hits close to home. There were surprises all around the table. One of the senior members of the committee—a woman in her eighties— seemed to have no great problem with the blessing. “Mazal tov for them,” she said. Later, though, when she fully realized what was being considered, she said, “But doesn’t the Torah say it’s a sin?” Another member of the committee, an educated white-collar professional who was to my mind (up to that point) a thoroughly decent fellow, referred to Barry and Jeff with an anti-gay epithet so ugly and crude that my jaw literally dropped when I heard it. And then there were the folks who simply said, “Barry and Jeff? Gay?! Really!?” It was truly an amazing meeting. Many key issues were discussed that night. “What message will this send to our kids who are there?” (“A good message of tolerance and understanding,” said one member.) “Will the parents of the next morning’s b’nei mitzvah1 be embarrassed?” (“It’s Barry and Jeff’s simcha2; what is there for them to be ashamed of,” said another.) But the most memorable exchange of the evening for me occurred when the conversation turned to “whether we really want to endorse homosexuality.” Now although you work really, really hard as an assistant rabbi, one of the advantages of that position is that Resolution of Reform Judaism Member congregations of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations are called to: — Encourage lesbian and gay Jews to share and participate in worship, leadership, and general congregational life; — Develop educational programs in the synagogue and community which promote understanding and respect for lesbians and gays; — Employ people without regard to sexual orientation…; — Recommend to the CCAR (Central Conference of American Rabbis) Committee on Liturgy that it develop language that is liturgically inclusive. —Passed by the biennial convention of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations in Chicago in 1987 The Meaning of a Jewish Blessing By Steven Folberg Spring 1997 19 if you choose to, you can stay neutral of explosive congregational issues. But at that point, sitting and listening to the rest of the group, I felt that the time had come to speak up. I raised my hand and, glancing nervously at my senior rabbi, I put in my proverbial two cents. “Look,” I said, “I don’t really think that this is a matter of ‘endorsing homosexuality.’ More to the point, since we’re talking about a blessing for Jeff and Barry, in order to truly understand what’s at stake here, you first have to consider what the function of a blessing is in Judaism. To say a blessing is to call your own attention to something in your life for which you are grateful, something special or holy which might otherwise go unnoticed. That’s why our sages tell us that we must strive to recite no fewer than one hundred blessings a day; that’s the extent to which we’re supposed to be sensitive to the miracles of life and existence. We’re supposed to constantly remind ourselves of God’s presence in our lives. ‘Thank you God: for the bread on my table, for my child’s first steps, for the chance to do this mitzvah.3’” “Somebody used the word homophobia earlier. Well, am I homophobic?” I asked (only semi-rhetorically). “Yes, I am. I clearly do not understand the physicality of Jeff and Barry’s relationship. Indeed, on some level— sexuality being the basic element of the human personality that it is— the thought of their intimacy is profoundly uncomfortable and threatening to me. But that, too, is not the issue; I need not understand how Jeff and Barry relate to each other on that level. There are, however, things that I do understand: love, devotion, faithfulness, the desire to know that you are never alone in the struggles and triumphs of life. Those things I do comprehend.” “And so,” I said, “to me the question is this. Here we have two Jews who love each other, are committed to each other, and have been faithful to each other for twenty years. Will we or will we not allow them to thank God for what they share, and have shared, in the sanctuary of our synagogue? That is the most important question.” In the end, the blessing did take place. Listening to the feedback of the Ritual Committee, Rabbi Davidson de- Friends Meeting Affirms Same-Sex Marriage At the first Meeting for business of the newly formed Northampton Friends Meeting in February 1994 the following minute was joyfully adopted: Same-Sex Marriage The Meeting affirms the goodness of committed, loving relationships and offers recognition and support to those who share this ideal and desire to enter into a permanent relationship based upon it. By tradition, the Meeting recognizes committed union in a celebration of marriage under the care of the Meeting. The same loving care and consideration will be given to both same-sex and heterosexual applicants as outlined in Faith and Practice. The Meeting shares a vision of a future that extends all the same rights to homosexual couples as are now enjoyed by heterosexual couples under the law. The Meeting’s vision of marriage will not be complete until the unification of the legal and the spiritual is complete and available to all. Source From “Minute on Sexual Orientation,” a two-page document dated 9 June 1996. Available from Bruce Hawkins, 61 Henshaw Avenue, Northampton MA 01060. Used with permission. cided to have Barry and Jeff stand up together for their blessing, but only after all of the other, married couples had been blessed. Rather than extemporize a prayer, he carefully wrote his words out in advance. Sadly, I missed the blessing that evening, since I was away with the youth group at a retreat. But from what I heard, there were more than a few tear-filled eyes in the pews that night. ▼ Notes 1Plural of bar or bat mitzvah, i.e., the youth being honored. 2Joyous occasion. 3Commandment; religious act. Source This story was the first part of a D’var Torah (sermon) preached by Rabbi Steven Folberg on Rosh Hashanah Morning, 1996/5757, in which he invited his congregation to consider adopting the inclusive resolution of the UAHC. Copyrighted by Steven Folberg. Used with permission. Steven Folberg served for six years as assistant and associate rabbi at Temple Beth- El of Great Neck, New York. He currently serves as senior rabbi of Congregation Beth Israel in Austin, Texas, where his congregation is considering adopting the inclusive resolution. He is married to Saundra Goldman, a writer and curator in the field of contemporary art. 20 Open Hands In August 1988, The United Church of Canada made a landmark decision that sexual orientation would not be grounds to exclude from membership or from ministry. “We affirm our acceptance of all human beings as persons made in the image of God regardless of their sexual orientation.” The church declared that all people, regardless of sexual orientation, are accepted as full members with all rights and privileges. Some people feared, and others hoped, that this decision would open the doors to even wider tolerance and acceptance. “Why we might even have people of the same gender getting married in our churches!” declared one outraged opponent. And so they are. Many clergy and congregations officiate at same gender-covenanting services. Several United Church congregations have explicit policies supporting this. Trinity-St. Paul’s Statement Changes Last September, at Trinity-St. Paul’s United Church in downtown Toronto, Teresa Burnett and her life-partner Ruth Cole exchanged rings and vows in a ceremony of celebration and commitment. Candles were lit. Family members read scripture. Rev. Joan Wyatt officiated. “God comes to us in relationship,” explained Wyatt, and so “it’s natural” to want to draw us together and “invoke God’s presence now and in the ongoing relationship.” The Trinity-St. Paul’s congregation has traveled far since its earliest discussions of homosexuality. In the early 1980s the presence of an openly lesbian candidate put the issue squarely in front of the congregation. The debate at first was rancorous, at times painful. But by the time Burnett and Cole held their covenanting, the congregation had a clearly developed policy of inclusion and acceptance, including same-gender covenanting. In 1994, Trinity-St. Paul’s embarked on a process to become an “Affirming Congregation” within The United Church. This program, sponsored by Affirm United, provides resources, a process, and consultants to enable congregations to learn, change, and become more inclusive of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. A committee was formed in the congregation to guide the process. Subsequent meetings and congregational study sessions looked at all aspects of congregational life. In a series of educational sessions, the congregation was invited to watch videos, talk about their own feelings, and hear personal stories. The final stage of the process included a review of the congregation’s mission statement to specifically include lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. An “affirming congregation” statement and “affirmative action policy” completed the process. The board approved a policy statement amending the congregations mission statement as follows: “We affirm that all who seek to live faithfully, regardless of ability, age, ethnicity, gender, race, or sexual orientation, are full participants and we urge all to take responsibility in the life, membership, and leadership in the church.” While the congregation was basically supportive of sexual orientation issues, it was recognized that further work was needed “to carry forward the work involved in becoming a congregation that affirms people of all sexual orientations” particularly in areas such as “pastoral care, outreach to other congregations, awareness building, and development of same-gender covenanting services.” It was clear to Wyatt and others at Trinity-St. Paul’s that amending the mission statement automatically paved the way for same-gender covenanting. “Becoming an affirming congregation meant that we would do same-gender covenanting,” said Wyatt. “That has been the case for awhile, but now we are open about it and are explicitly stating that’s who we are and this is what we do.” Initially, the congregation agreed that the same policy would be applied to same-gender couples as for heterosexual ones; that is, that couples had to be actively connected to the congregation. The congregation does not perform marriages “off the street,” as Wyatt put it. However, the policy was later amended to be more inclusive of homosexual than heterosexual couples. “We realized we needed to offer services to all [same-gender] couples regardless of whether they are members at Trinity- St. Paul’s,” said Wyatt, because there are so many congregations that are still exclusive. “They may not be able to have same-gender covenanting within their own congregation.” A policy change to this effect passed easily at the Official Board. Trinity-St. Paul’s has just added a line to its masthead declaring that it is an Affirming Congregation. First United Engages in Discernment Same-gender covenanting was much more of an issue at First United Church in Ottawa. Opposition to the issue of ordination had been stronger. Opinions were still divided, and feelings high, when the congregation received a request in October 1991, to permit a same-gender covenanting between two lesbian members. Rev. Sharon Moon conveyed the request to the Session of Elders and launched what she describes as “a very By Alyson Huntly Congregations in The United Church of Canada develop policies for celebrating same-gender covenanting. Steps on a Journey Spring 1997 21 powerful process.” Two elders on Session, not previously out in the congregation, came out to the session at that first meeting. “It was a movement of the Spirit,” says Moon. “The request enabled two lesbians to come out. And our whole community made a choice to risk faithfulness and solidarity.” The Session felt that because the request had such enormous implications for the congregation it needed to be dealt with by the Official Board (the governing body). Official Board in turn, decided to take the matter to the whole congregation. In good United Church fashion, a committee was established— a committee of people who were supportive, people who weren’t, and at least one person who was openly gay. Elder Sybil Brake was part of that committee. She wasn’t out when she started, but “my involvement in the process meant coming out to the whole congregation. I felt called to do that, despite initial trepidation. Unless you can be yourself in the church, what’s the point? It turned out to be the third liberating experience of my life.” The committee met and began to work out a process for getting congregational involvement. It was very threatening for many—for closeted gays and lesbians fearful they would lose a supportive community, for people openly homophobic, for adults who had experienced abuse as children. Says Moon, “There were all these pastoral care needs. At the same time, it was incredibly healing for many people.” The congregation held what they called a “day of discernment” to discuss the request and its implications. “We were setting a precedent,” said Clerk of Session, Norman Ball. “Whatever we decided on this one request would be our policy.” Study kits and a copy of the request letter were given to all members. People were invited to pray, and questions for personal reflection were provided. Several “meet the gays and lesbians you are worshipping with” gatherings were held to help build congregational awareness. The discernment day itself began with Sunday morning worship, Taizestyle, with lots of silence, and no sermon. “There was no preaching about the issue,” said Moon, “just an invitation to listen to the Spirit.” People met over lunch to review First United’s mission statement, talk about what members valued about the congregation, and hear a history of the process. This was not a day to take a vote, it was a day to listen. The Official Board would make the decision, according to United Church policy, but it would be informed by this day. The discernment process then continued with information about covenanting ceremonies, including reading a liturgy from a recent ceremony. A crucial element of the process was the sharing of losses and opportunities. Rather than pro/con or for/against, these were lists the congregation compiled of things that might be lost and gained, which ever way the decision went. Everyone, regardless of their opinion, was invited to share in the compiling of these lists. This process broke down barriers— people supportive of the request named some of the potential losses for those who were opposed. People who were opposed were able to see opportunities for the congregation in a decision that they did not support. There were moments of pain, moments of anger, signs of struggle, and always a sense of the presence of the Spirit as the congregation paused frequently through the meeting for silent prayer. In March 1992, the Official Board met to make its final decision. It voted, 17 for, 6 opposed, “to accept the proposal for the performance of holy union ceremonies at First United Church between same-sex couples.” The Board noted that space was still needed to respect differing points of view, and the criteria would have to be worked out. The current policy is that the same guidelines apply as for heterosexual weddings. No one left the church over this issue. Even those who disagreed with the final decision acknowledged that they felt heard and respected in their opinions. The decision, and the discernment process had a tremendous impact. According to Moon, it “has influenced everything we’ve done since. It has given us a model for decision-making, a model for dealing with differences.” Sybil Brake is still an elder at First United. In fact, she has just been elected the Clerk of the Session, the highest elected office in the congregation. Says Brake, “the discernment process and the outcome set off a ripple effect that is still going on six years later. I have a sense that, in our congregation, the lions and the lambs are at ease with each other.” Lesbians and gays within the United Church of Canada are asking the church to recognize and celebrate their relationships. The United Church does not yet have a national policy on samegender covenanting, although Affirm United, as an advocacy organization, along with some presbyteries, has requested that a supportive policy be developed. These two congregations are amongst several within our denomination that have taken seriously the decision of our national church to “work out the implications of orientation and lifestyles in light of Holy Scripture.” In other words, our church is committed to continuing to grow, change, and be transformed as we seek justice for gays and lesbians in church and society. ▼ Alyson Huntly is a United Church diaconal minister, a lesbian, and a mother of three. She is editor of Consensus, the journal of Affirm United (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and their friends in The United Church of Canada). 22 Open Hands The theme of this issue of Open Hands prompted me to call the editor with a suggested article. As I explained how my partner and I have been together for over eight years yet still don’t have the ability to reside permanently together in either of our countries, tears of desperation choked my words. Ironically, just weeks later, I write with the assurance of having been allowed to apply for permanent residency in the U.S. without delay. Our Journey Jean and I met overseas in 1988. We were resource persons at an international conference sent respectively by church bodies we worked for in the U.S. and United Kingdom (U.K.). Our relationship developed and grew in commitment, sustained by long letters, expensive telephone calls, and costly airplane tickets. After three years of this “long-distance” relationship, Jean moved to the U.K. to join me and look for work in the hope of staying there permanently. Since our relationship was not recognized by the U.K. government, residency privileges were denied. Jean arrived with a tourist visa, “no employment allowed, good for six months.” In fact, her simply looking for work in the U.K. was illegal and grounds for immediate deportation. Nearing the end of the six months, and with still no employment in sight, Jean faced the interrogation of U.K. immigration officials to renew her visa. “You’ve already been here for six months, why do you want to return?” “Where are you employed?” “Why is your vacation taking so long?” “What is your means of support?” Having slightly embellished the truth to gain another tourist visa, Jean endured six more months of learning that no prospective U.K. employer wished to undertake the legal hassle of employing a foreigner. When she was offered work in the U.S. by her former employer, we decided to try the reverse situation. I came to the U.S. I entered on a tourist—“employment prohibited”— visa with much the same restrictions as Jean had had. This visa was good for only three months; I had to keep returning to the U.K. to gain additional tourist visas as these could not be renewed by going to any country contiguous to the U.S. or the Caribbean Islands. It was now my turn to experience the humiliation, helplessness, and hurt engendered by immigration officials’ questions. After three such round trips, I finally met an employer willing to file the papers to apply for a work permit. However, this permit gave us just one year’s security! A renewal of the work permit granted me a further three years, which then gave us a little breathing space to figure out the best way to petition for a permanent residency. However, the work permit I now held was a “non-immigrant” one good for an aggregate six years during my entire lifetime! Gaining permanent residency through that employer and visa was not an option. Following the advice of our immigration lawyer (all fees were paid by us), I applied for permanent residency on the basis of my work which is, ironically, helping fellow immigrants acculturate to the U.S., not the least through English language acquisition. Thus began a grueling process of “proving myself” worthy of being allowed to stay in the U.S.— “in the national interest,” the government called it. For months I collected documentation and recommendations. When my petition was denied, I appealed and to further “prove” my worth had to ask professionals who had never met me to write letters of support for the type of acculturation and teaching I advocate. Try securing letters of support from people in national positions who have never heard of you! When this appeal was denied, I was crest fallen. What did the U.S. government want? Why did I have to “prove” myself just to remain in the country with the woman I love? A heterosexual partner of a bi-national couple would never have had to go through this! Their relationship would have been sufficient because it would have been considered legitimate. On my third and final appeal, I submitted even more documentation, now backed up by academic tomes found amidst hours of library research. All in all, the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service received a stack of papers from me that reached over three inches in height with thirty-five appendixes! I submitted four petitions, was denied three times, appealed three times and was finally granted permission to apply for permanent residency without delay in late 1996— a full four years into the legal process. If at this point you feel overwhelmed by the complexity of the process, just imagine the stress of living it! My Reflections Many other aspiring immigrants face similar marathons to mine. However the injustice facing bi-national lesbian and gay couples is that our family ties, love, commitment, and faithfulness carry no legal weight whatsoever. We cannot apply for permanent residency based on our committed relationship alone. Yet heterosexual binational engaged or married couples are automatically granted permanent residency and subsequently the right to apply for citizenship. The so-called Defense of Marriage Act, passed by the U.S. Congress in the summer of 1996, specifically denies immigration privileges to the life-partners of lesbian or gay U.S. citizens. Ironically, current immigration laws in the U.K. indicated that now that I have permission to reside permanently in the U.S., my partner’s chances of gaining residency in the U.K., based on our By Anonymous Experiences of a Bi-National Lesbian Couple Spring 1997 23 relationship, are virtually annulled. I guess they figure one country is enough; we gays and lesbians ought to be happy and leave it at that. My journey to accept my lesbian identity in a heterosexually-oriented society (and related fears of intimacy) may have led me to seek a relationship which initially offered safe distance. Could it be for similar reasons to these, in addition to proportionally higher education levels and concurrent international opportunities among lesbians and gays, that there is a higher percentage of bi-national lesbian and gay couples than heterosexual couples?1 I find this questioning hasn’t proved helpful. It leads me to turn the injustice of the situation back on myself, blaming myself, the victim, for getting into this complicated labyrinth of immigration exclusions, which certainly aren’t of my making! The stresses endured by bi-national lesbian and gay couples are enormous. These stresses exist in addition to those routinely experienced by lesbian and gay couples in a heterosexist/homophobic society. I don’t know if I could have tolerated this long drawn-out process without my spiritual resources, a United Methodist Reconciling congregation, and the support of friends and professionals. In the course of this process I’ve felt both negative and positive dependency. For a good many years I have been dependent on others’ decisions about my situation, and this has mostly been a debilitating experience: immigration rulings, restrictive legislation, voluminous appeals. However, a positive kind of dependency has also emerged—“letting go, and letting God.” I realized everything has its own pace, and that, as individuals, we can’t really “push the river,” no matter how desperately we want to. My eyes have been opened to advocacy for the deserved rights of lesbian, gay, and other forms of liberation. I’ve also gained courage in asking for help from many different sources, especially from my church community and from people who can use their positions of authority to influence others (employers, related professionals, state and federal representatives). For now I realize that, together, we can indeed “divert the course of the river”! My approval notice from the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service demonstrates that. Friends who have supported us throughout our quest to live freely and permanently in one another’s countries ask us “How do you keep going?” Jean answers, “Our relationship is a gift from God. The grace of God has kept us together.” I answer “I’m just plain stubborn— we’ve come this far, I’m not going to let them make me give up now!” ▼ Note 1Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force Newsletter (Summer 1996) New York, New York. The writer of this article resides on the East Coast. She asked to remain anonymous while her application for permanent residency is checked by the FBI, a routine procedure. She is unwilling to jeopardize the fruits of eight years’ efforts. Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. AD 24 Open Hands Years ago a baby was born. The parents had wanted children and were thrilled when they conceived. They watched with amazement as the pregnancy developed. They talked about how life would be different when they were parents. They talked of their hopes and dreams for their little one. They negotiated names. Unlike today, they didn’t know what the baby’s sex was prior to birth. Even immediately after the baby was born, whether it was a girl or boy wasn’t known. As the baby lay on its mother’s still-swelled abdomen, already nursing from her breast, all three— mom, dad, and baby—glowed with the exhilaration and exhaustion of new life. Finally, they remarked to each other “What a precious gift from God!” “Isn’t our son special?” The parents and the son, whom they named Mark, went through the normal succession of events in a child’s life. They struggled with fatigue as he awakened time and again in the middle of the night. They delighted at the first smile; held out their arms in expectation as he took his first step; did battle seemingly with him over his need to control when he would finally be potty trained; and cried tears when he had his first day at school. As he grew older, they continued to say to one another “What a precious gift from God!” and “Isn’t our son special?” But other feelings were also expressed: “I just wish he would do what I ask!” “Why does he have to be so independent?” “Did he really come from our family?” “I hope the day comes when a responsible bone shows up in his body.” He was a pretty typical kid, in a lot of ways, except one. Mark was gay. He knew it, he says, from the time he was old enough to remember anything. As he grew up, he went through the motions of dating girls, knowing that was expected of him and also thinking that it might change how he felt; but it didn’t. Finally, he came to terms with who he was and began to seek out other men like himself. Mark lived in fear of coming out to his parents. He knew they would be disappointed that he wouldn’t follow the traditional path of marriage. He knew they would be disappointed that he wouldn’t give them the grandchildren they very much wanted. Would he be rejected by them? To complicate matters, Mark came from a royal family. His dad was the king. To not have an heir to inherit the throne was a big issue. Mark knew that he had two choices. He could go deep into the closet and simply go through the motions of marriage and having children in order to appease his parents. In a royal family this would be relatively simple to pull off. Having lovers would be possible; people would help him to keep that secret. But he wanted more out of life than to try to keep a lid on a secret. He wanted more than to live under false pretenses. In his relative youth he had the wisdom to know deep within himself that he would be miserable. So he considered his other choice: come out to his parents. Somehow, deep within his being, Mark thought that the bond he had with his parents would hold his family together— eventually. He figured his coming out would at first trigger his dad’s incredible temper. He feared that outburst. He also feared that his mother would cry about this so much that she would eventually fall apart. And yet, he held onto his innate sense that his parents, given time, would support and love him as they always had in his life. So he chose to come out. One day, the expected conversation about marriage and an heir came up. With incredible courage, Mark said to his parents, “I would like to get married someday, but I don’t think I will ever find a woman I want to marry. When I marry, I know it will be to a man.” It was an unusual way to come out. But his parents got the message. First there was a loud, pregnant silence. Then, they responded as he expected. His mom began to cry and his father raised his voice: “How could you do this to us?” Mark withdrew into his chair and shook as he watched his parent’s reaction to his news. Their reaction was strong and honest. They parted that day not able to embrace each other the way they usually did. It was a very painful time for all three of them. Mark kept his distance over the next couple of days. He came and went as usual. He spoke to his parents only when necessary. They were polite, but distant. Finally, after a few days of brewing, talking, and crying behind closed doors, Mark’s parents asked to speak with him again. “Mark,” his dad said, “I have loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you when you were born. I have celebrated your uniqueness. I have had dreams for your future. Your news this week caused me to question if I could still dream for you and celebrate your life and love you. At first, I thought I could not. Then, as I watched you come and go in near silence, I realized that I still love you. I realized that even though your dreams for yourself may be different from mine, my love for you and longing for happiness and fulfillment for you had not changed. I also Midrash: “Any of the rabbinical commentary and explanatory notes on the Scriptures written between the beginning of the Exile and c. A.D. 1200.” —Webster’s New World College Dictionary, Third Edition By Susan Palmquist A Modern Midrash Sermon Based on Matthew 22:1-14 R.S.V.P. Spring 1997 25 realized that the uniqueness I began to see so soon after you were born is some of what is emerging in your identity now. As I celebrated that when you were a baby—even though at times I rolled my eyes at it— so now, I celebrate who you are— uniquely.” His mother added, “Mark, all we ask is that you honor and respect us by including us in your life. Include us in your joys and sorrows. Allow us to be there for you. We will always love you and hope for you in your future.” As anyone who has come out to their parents knows, the kind of response Mark got from his was highly unusual. Mark knew that and honored them for their gracious welcoming of who he really was into their lives. Over the years, Mark dated numerous men. Finally, he met the person he wanted to spend his life with. He and Samuel began to dream of a celebration of their relationship. Eventually, they went to Mark’s parents and asked for their blessing. To Mark and Samuel’s amazement, Mark’s parents wanted to have a wedding celebration for them. His mom and dad were so excited, they began to make plans for them before they were even done telling their news. Seeing the incredible support from them, Samuel and Mark couldn’t refuse. It is here that today’s biblical text comes in. The king sent word to all the people that there would be a wedding. He invited them to come for the celebration. As was customary, no time was set, and when the celebration was ready, the king sent his servants to proclaim that the wedding banquet was ready. Like today in our world, homophobia was rampant in this community. Word had leaked out that the wedding was of the king’s son to another man, and people began to talk among themselves that this was wrong. So when word came that the feast was ready, they began to tell the servants excuses. “I cannot come” they said again and again. Their excuses were varied. Some were better than others. Well, the king didn’t excuse them. Having business or family priorities wasn’t enough for him. The king had expected the people to respond to his invitation. Even if they didn’t understand what was happening, he at least expected obedience. When word got out that some of the people had become violent and had killed some of his servants, he became furious. Becoming protective of his son, he began to lash out. He told his soldiers to kill the ones who had killed his people. The city was burned. It was a horrible tragedy. The king wasn’t about to let the people have the victory, though. He sent his servants out again to gather people for the wedding feast. He told them to invite whoever they could find. Finally, people began to come. People with whom the king had never had any dealings came. Men, women, children, people who were poor, who had physical and mental disabilities came—prepared to celebrate with the king. The rumors had reached them and most came in genuine respect for the king and his son and his new spouse. But some came simply out of curiosity. Some came and were emotionally distant, as if what they were observing was simply a circus, a freak show. The king saw this. Again it triggered his anger. “Where are your wedding clothes?” It was as if he was asking, “How come you are here if you are less than supportive of the love that is proclaimed this day?” The king threw out these people and cursed them. This is a difficult story. It is a story of wanting to celebrate love, but coming up against the walls of hatred, of social paranoia, of fear that tries to keep people out, that tries to deny people’s love. It is a story of response and lack of response to an invitation that brings out pent-up and unchecked fear and anger. It is a story that begins and ends with the deepest and most sacrificial kind of love that is possible for human beings, but that reveals the most frightening underbelly of evil humanity as well. It is a story that interplays good and evil, love and hate, as does the story of Jesus’ life and death. We are given an invitation in life. And we are asked to respond. The invitation is to love of the deepest kind. It is human love. It is divine love. Prepared for us is the feast of life. What is our response? There certainly are reasons for some to choose not to come to this particular table this day. However, as human beings we are summoned to respond with more than an outsider’s curiosity to the larger banquet of love and life, of celebrating uniqueness, of proclaiming joy in creation. This is a banquet that we are asked to go to with more than hushed tones. It is a banquet for which there is no room inside closet walls. So let us come. Let us come like new parents holding out our arms to feel love and life in ways that we never could fully know before. Let us come to the banquet of love— of life. Amen. ▼ Susan Palmquist is a United Methodist clergywoman from the West Ohio conference. Currently she is working as a hospital chaplain in St. Louis, Missouri. She is part of Lafayette UMC (an unofficial but very reconciling church). Mother and daughter: Susan lives with her daughter, Leslie Cerny, in St. Louis. You’re Invited R.S.V.P 26 Open Hands Sustaining the Spirit A Hymn for the Blessing of a Commitment Text and tune by Timothy Kocher-Hillmer Be for us a model of how to live our lives. With your love before us our search for wholeness thrives. Through daily new beginnings community arrives. Help us push the boundaries while learning how to bend. Firmly pushing truth-ward with unity our end. God’s vision now enjoins us as lovers and as friends. God’s love is a model replacing status quo helping us to vision a way of letting go. As future turns to present together let us grow. Let us love together with living peace our goal. Justice then shall follow our lives transformed and whole by loving God who makes us with heart and mind and soul. © 1994 Timothy Kocher-Hillmer Used with permission. To reprint these words for any purpose or to obtain music for this hymn, please contact Timothy Kocher-Hillmer, 969 Lilac Street, Pittsburgh PA 15217-2228. Phone: 412/521-7746. Timothy Kocher-Hillmer, a member of LC/NA and a life-long Lutheran, is a “worship activist” and meditator who works with local and national groups creating worship experiences with and for anyone who wants to push the boundaries. Song for a Holy Union Text and tune by Amanda Udis-Kessler All our lives we’ve been taught the way to feel, the way to care. If that’s not the way we are, we’re told we’re wrong. But we celebrate today the fact that love will find a way Past the barriers of ignorance and hate, for love is strong. Refrain: The state decrees are missing but this union can’t be broken. Today we live in thankfulness that God through love has spoken. The bond that you’ve created here let no one put asunder As you live your lives in peace with hope and love and wonder. All the work that you’ve put in has not been wasted or lost. You have built a base of strength on which to grow. There are always those who say that you can’t do what you have done. Let this moment be your testament, and let the doubters know: Refrain. Bless this house and all assembled here. God, keep this couple in Your sight. may the threads of their lives tangled Weave a tapestry of light, a tapestry of light. All the days that lie ahead will show the meaning of your bond. We are here for you, whatever you may need. Keep your home a place of joy. Keep your hearts a place of rest. Let your love shine through each thought and word and deed. Refrain. © 1988, 1993 Amanda Udis-Kessler Used with permission. To reprint these words or to obtain the music, contact Amanda Udis-Kessler, PO Box 1814, Cambridge MA 02238. Phone: 617-273-9462. Amanda Udis-Kessler is a musician and writer in the Boston area. A member of Arlington Street Church, she hopes to be a minister some day. Tapestry of Light Be for us a model Spring 1997 27 Selected Resources Basics on Same-Sex Unions Boswell, John. Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe. New York: Vintage, 1994. Boswell presents evidence that “at one time the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches not only sanctioned unions between partners of the same sex but sanctified them—in ceremonies that bear striking resemblance to heterosexual marriage ceremonies”—and he reproduces actual examples. Brooten, Bernadette J. Love Between Women: Early Christian Responses to Female Homoeroticism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1996. After you read Boswell, read this one, which offers evidence of marriages between women in the ancient Roman world. A major new contribution. Hunt, Mary E. “You Do, I Don’t,” in Open Hands (Fall 1990), pp. 10-11. Order from RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago IL 60641. This feminist theologian explores three concerns she has about lesbian/gay marriage ceremonies. Long, Patricia V. Enlarging the Circle: Pullen’s Holy Union Process. This 105-page monograph details the decision-making process of Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina. To order, write to 1805 Hillsborough Street, Raleigh NC 27605. McNeill, John. Freedom, Glorious Freedom. Boston: Beacon, 1995. See especially ch. 9, “Coming Out Through a Public Rite of Covenanted Union.” Pullen Task Force on Same-Gender Covenants. Celebration of Same-Gender Covenants. Submitted April 1993. Some excellent articles from this local Baptist church’s process. See Long’s and Prichard’s in this issue. Others focus more specifically on biblical issues. To order, write to 1805 Hillsborough Street, Raleigh NC 27605. Sherman, Suzanne, ed. Lesbian and Gay Marriage: Private Commitments, Public Ceremonies. Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1992. Legislation and Domestic Partner Benefits Eskridge, William N. Jr. The Case for Same-Sex Marriage: From Sexual Liberty to Civilized Commitment. New York: Free Press, 1996. This attorney and law professor at Georgetown University offers a strong argument (for both liberal and conservative reasons) for supporting gay and lesbian marriage. He believes legal same-sex marriage will civilize both gays and straights. Freedom to Marry: Questions and Answers. A pamphlet on The Marriage Project, Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Inc. 666 Broadway, Suite 1200, New York NY 10012-2317. 212/ 995-8585. A small pamphlet explores some basic questions: Why do we need “gay marriages”? What about domestic partnership? Isn’t marriage really about procreation? and others. Fried, Barbara and others. Domestic Partner Benefits: A Case Study. Human Resource Monograph Series. Stanford: Stanford University College and University Personnel Association, 1992. This monograph summarizes Stanford’s review of domestic partner questions, with a short summary of other institution’s benefits and an exploration of costs and legal ramifications. Perry, Troy. “The Wedding: A Demonstration for the Rights of Lesbian, Gay and Bi Couples,” in Equal Rites. eds. Kittredge Cherry and Zalmon Sherwood. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995, pp. 106-109. Perry explains briefly why he organized the wedding event in front of the Internal Revenue Service building and then provides the text of the mass ceremony. To Have and To Hold: Organizing for Our Right to Marry. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 1995. Order from NGLTF, 2320 17th Street NW, Washington DC 20009. Same-Sex Union Ceremonies Affirm/Affirmer. Covenant Services of Commitment for Same Gender Couples. The United Church of Canada. Available from Affirm United, Box 333, Station Q, Toronto, Ontario M4T 2M5 Canada. Butler, Becky, ed. Ceremonies of the Heart: Celebrating Lesbian Unions. Seattle: Seal, 1990. A collection of liturgies and more. Weidig, Jane C. ed. Blessing Ceremonies: Resources for Same-Gender Services of Commitment. United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns, 1993. Order from UCCL/GC, 18 N. College Street, Athens OH 45701. Cherry, Kittredge and Zalmon Sherwood, eds. Equal Rites: Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies, and Celebrations. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995. A unique collection of worship services, ceremonies and celebrations—for many different times in the lives of lesbians and gay men. See especially the sections on funeral and memorial services and on covenant rites for couples. Same-Gender Services of Union: A Planning Resource from the Office of Lesbian and Gay Concerns. Unitarian Universalist Association, 25 Beacon Street, Boston MA 02108. This resource includes discussion of the parts of a union service, sample services, and other practical materials. Children’s Books These three colorful children’s picture books explore same-gender family situations. Newman, Leslea. Heather Has Two Mommies. Northampton: In Other Words, 1989. Willhoite, Michael. Daddy’s Roommate. Boston: Alyson Wonderland, 1990. Willhoite, Michael. Daddy’s Wedding. Los Angeles: Alyson Wonderland, 1996. 28 Open Hands More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance First Congregational, UCC Bellevue, Washington The only church located in the high-rise core of downtown, this congregation of 400 members is excited about outreach that will help the city be a “community with soul.” Having completed a $300,000 remodeling project, the church is exploring ways to keep its building and programs available to the people around it. Among the groups currently meeting at the church is Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians/Gays (PFLAG). The congregation recently celebrated its first ONA anniversary with a service and a time of thanksgiving for, and renewal of, this commitment. First United Church Oak Park, Illinois Jointly UCC and Presbyterian (since 1975), First United is a suburban congregation of 1100 members. Its location on the edge of one of Chicago’s poorest neighborhoods presents many opportunities for mutual partnerships with groups working to improve life in the city. Through a special mission endowment (funds from the sale of a building at the time of the 1975 merger), the church is currently focusing its outreach on gay/ lesbian issues, self sufficiency/welfare, and preventative health care. It also supports organizations working on local gay rights issues like domestic partnership policies. Mountain Rise UCC Fairport, New York This suburban congregation of 375 members is characterized by a generosity of outreach involving energy and money. Its spirit is enhanced by “worship in the round”—in a hexagonal arrangement that allows for various forms of creative celebration. All members are encouraged to participate in both Kin Groups (which help prepare for Sunday morning worship/ fellowship and provide personal support) and Commitment Units (which carry out the work of the church). Mission projects range from those in nearby Rochester to sending a medical student to El Salvador for several months. The church also shares its ONA process and commitment with churches in the area which are interested in becoming ONA. Welcoming Communities Celebration of Life Presbyterian Mesa, Arizona Celebration of Life Presbyterian began the process of becoming a More Light Church following the meeting of the General Assembly. In February, the Session revised its commitment to peace-making by including a statement on inclusiveness and voted to join the More Light Churches Network. Cottage Grove Presbyterian Church Des Moines, Iowa Cottage Grove Presbyterian, a congregation of approximately 170 members, is the first More Light Church in Iowa. The inner-city congregation’s main mission focus is a ministry helping people ineligible for government aid who are facing evictions or utility shutoffs. The church also serves a large Sudanese immigrant population. Cove UMC Lakewood, Ohio Cove United Methodist Church will celebrate its 100th anniversary in 1998. In 1970, it moved into its current, strikingly-beautiful building in this suburb adjoining the northwest side of Cleveland. This 250-member community offers a variety of spiritual growth programs and community ministries. A meditation group meets weekly and a healing service is held each month. Cove UMC serves a community meal once a month, sponsors a parish nurse, and houses several recovery groups. The discussion to become a Reconciling Congregation, which took several years, grew out of conversation on how to address the sin of homophobia. The RC decision has brought several new persons to the church recently. Desert Chapel UMC Apache Junction, Arizona This congregation was established as a community church in 1952 and soon became United Methodist. It is known as a “snowbird” congregation and is comprised mostly of northerners who spend the winter in this community east of Phoenix. Worship attendance in winter reaches about 1200, with an average of 150 during the summer. The congregation is older and working class. Worship is the center of community life. Not known as a “liberal community,” Desert Chapel raised the question of becoming a Reconciling Congregation after heated debate on gay issues at the 1996 annual conference. The desire to make it clear that its doors are open to anyone and everyone impelled the RC decision at Desert Chapel. East Vancouver UMC Vancouver, Washington Originally located on the eastern edge of Vancouver when it was founded about ninety years ago, East Vancouver UMC has watched the city grow around it. This middle-class MORE LIGHT RECONCILING OPEN AND AFFIRMING Spring 1997 29 congregation of 400 members spans all age groups. A child care center serves eighty children. The church has active junior and senior high youth groups, five circles of United Methodist Women, and a weekly coffee for retired men. East Vancouver UMC, known as a “welcoming and caring” community, supports a food bank, women’s shelter, and several missionaries in Central America. The decision to become an RC was expanded to look at many different groups of persons who are not always welcome in churches. First UMC Gardena, California Located on the southern edge of Los Angeles, First UMC is a multicultural congregation in a largely Spanish-speaking community. The life of this congregation of 120 members focuses on mission to the community. The congregation houses the Harbor-Gateway Center which offers services to persons in transition. A monthly community-wide meeting at First UMC brings together community members and leaders to share information. The congregation provides meals and other services to low-income families on Saturdays. First UMC’s emphasis on outreach to the larger community led to the discussion and decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. Hazelcrest Community UMC Hazelcrest, Illinois Just over 100 years old, Hazelcrest Community UMC built its current building in 1962 in this south suburb of Chicago. Its 265 members are racially mixed, tend to be older, and are noted for their generosity. The congregation heavily supports missions, sponsors a food pantry, and opens its doors to homeless persons one night a week as part of the Public Action to Deliver Shelter program. A strong music program, which supports the worship program, performs musicals regularly. Hobart UMC Minneapolis, Minnesota This congregation of 150 members is known as a friendly church which is very involved in its community. One of its older members was the first infant baptized there ninety-three years ago. Hobart houses a number of community groups in its transitional urban neighborhood. The music program is small, but strong. An area-wide Thanksgiving dinner serves over 100 persons each year. The congregation is in the process of establishing the Hobart Neighborhood Center which, when open this fall, will offer programs for children. Kings Highway UMC Brooklyn, New York This congregation dates back to 1850 when it was Flatlands UMC. When the congregation moved to its current site and changed its name in 1925, Norman Vincent Peale was the pastor. Currently the congregation is in transition toward becoming a largely West Indian congregation. Kings Highway is heavily involved with community ministries which serve all ages from a nursery school to senior citizens programs. The congregation’s recent growth seems to stem from its biblically-centered, traditional worship with good singing. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Campus Christian Community Fredericksburg, Virginia The Campus Christian Community of Mary Washington College has students, faculty, and staff from many denominations as active participants. Its mission statement (written by the students) states: “The Campus Christian Community is a loving and supportive commmunity which welcomes diversity while seeking to know and understand what Jesus has asked of us.” Becoming a Reconciled in Christ/Reconciling Congregation seemed to be a natural consequence of its mission statement. It has become racially inclusive as well. One African- American woman said simply, “I knew you accepted everybody, so I knew that I would be welcome too.” This “loving and diverse community” continues to include folks who are not comfortable with being RIC/RC, but would rather be in a community of welcome than a community of judgment. Faith Lutheran Church Phoenix, Arizona Faith Lutheran Church, an ELCA congregation of 52 years in central Phoenix, decided last fall to become a Reconciled in Christ congregation. When the church council discussed the proposal presented by their pastor, Rev. Richard C. Staats, they responded, “Why Not? We’re already practicing as an RIC congregation.” Once a congregation of 2,000 people, now again approaching 400, Faith is truly blessed with the energy and variety of its new members. Faith’s friendliness has become its most obvious strength, yet the congregation seriously and regularly ponders how to reach the people of its neighborhood. Faith is asking God to work in and through the congregation as God will, and the surprises are becoming evident. St. Andrews Lutheran Church Pittsburg, Pennsylvania St. Andrews Lutheran Church is a small congregation serving a diverse, transitional area which includes three universities and several major medical centers. Its motto is “Love Everyone; Exclude No One.” This inclusive philsophy led St. Andrews to build a ramp making its building accessible, to restart a nursery and Sunday School program for families with young children, and to become an RIC congregation. Specific ministries include serving people who are HIV+ and those who are in Pittsburgh waiting specialized medical procedures. The process of becoming RIC took seven years. “Education, openness, and changing of institutions is often long and slow,” notes St. Andrews’ pastor Janet B. Grill. “Gentle persistence on the part of those who understood the importance of this formal step persuaded those who were uncomfortable with naming gays and lesbians as being specifically welcomed.” RECONCILED IN CHRIST 30 Open Hands Movement News RCP Launches Leadership Training Twenty local activists from ten midwestern annual conferences gathered in Chicago from April 4-6 for the first-ever Reconciling Congregation Program Leadership Training Weekend. RCP staff Mark Bowman and James Preston planned and led this event which immersed participants in the RCP message, style, and organizing strategies. Participants learned how to make RCP presentations, talk to the media, enroll Reconciling United Methodists, nurture new Reconciling Congregations and Campus Ministries, and tell stories which witness to the work of God in the RC movement. Woven through the weekend were scriptures and songs which embody the RCP message of welcome and hospitality. The participants were quite enthusiastic in their evaluation of the weekend: “The weekend helped me reclaim the scriptures and my United Methodist heritage.” “The positive message of welcoming me in God’s name was very empowering.” “I will use this to rejuvenate my congregation’s RCP ministry.” “This weekend I have been educated, renewed, and have felt accepted and validated for who I am and what I have to offer.” “This is what the church needs to be about.” Using the evaluation of the participants in this test weekend, RCP staff will refine this training model and begin offering regional training events in different cities in the fall. Research on Same-Sex Covenanted Relationships Proposed The Episcopal Divinity School, based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and a Baltimore group, headed by E.D.S. trustee and Johns Hopkins physician John Payne, have designed a five-year prospective study aimed at understanding the facts concerning church-supported same-sex covenanted relationships. “Within a climate of emotionally charged and sometimes ignorant church debate, this research will offer the prospect of factually-based conversation and, one hopes, informed decision making,” notes President William W. Rankin of E.D.S. (who also serves as dean and as Charles B. Wilson Professor of Christian Ethics). The carefully designed research study, built on state-of-theart social science research methods, is a carefully articulated, quantitative, longitudinal investigation of personal and social factors. It has been carefully scrutinized and approved by the Joint Committee on Clinical Investigation of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and the Johns Hopkins Hospital. Using Episcopal Church congregants, the study will explore such major questions as: What is the comparative stability of same-sex versus heterosexual covenanted relationships? Would many lesbian and gay couples seek religious ceremonies if these were truly available? How would the church support same-sex relationships, if at all. No such study has yet been undertaken within a church context. Ten dioceses scattered across the United States are already committed to the project, which hopes to enroll at least 300 couples prior to their marriage or blessing of covenant—half gay/lesbian and half heterosexual. “The potential impact of this study is great,” notes Rankin. “Some thirty-five parishes are ready to enroll couples. That so many bishops, clergy, and lay leaders are prepared to join the study indicates the gap between church rhetoric that religious blessings of same sex covenants are not occurring, and the reality that they are.” Whatever the final results of the study, the researchers believe that the study should be helpful in grounding in reality, and possibly changing private opinion, public discussion, and policy in the church and perhaps in the wider society. The project is estimated to cost $220,000 over five years. An initial grant of $50,000 has been received from the E. Rhodes and Leona B. Carpenter Foundation. “Fidelity and Chastity” Amendment Ratified The commonly called “fidelity and chastity” amendment to the Book of Order of the Presbyterian Church has been ratified by more than 50 percent of the presbyteries and will be certified as church law at this summer’s meeting of the General Assembly. The full text of the amendment is as follows: “Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life in obedience to Scripture and in conformity to the historic confessional standards of the church. Among these standards is the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (W-4.9001), or chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or in stalled as deacons, elders, or ministers of the Word and Sacrament.” The changes in the church’s constitution were designed to prohibit the ordination of gays and lesbians as church officers or pastors, but the language of the amendment is so broadly written that many argue that no one will be able to be found fit for ordination. It is certain that the newly adopted amendment will provoke a great deal of action in the church courts. RCP LEADERSHIP TRAINING: Activists from across the midwest attend a first-ever RCP leadership training weekend in Chicago in April. Spring 1997 31 Call for Articles for Winter 1998 We’re Welcoming! Now What? Seeking articles on what happens in a local church once the decision to make a public welcoming statement has occurred: struggles, successes, steps taken to heal rifts, planning processes undertaken to identify ministry options, specific ministries developed, etc. Write with idea: July 15 Manuscript deadline: October 15 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 ABC Metro Removes Ban on Gay Ministerial Ordinands The Family Council of the American Baptist Churches of Metro Chicago, meeting on 8 March 1997, amended its regional ordination policies regarding the sexual orientation of candidates. The most pertinent clause states that candidates will not be withheld from the ordination process on the basis of their declared sexual orientation. The policy does not speak to the issue of sexual orientation itself; it places the responsibility of recommending candidates for regional review in the hands of the local sponsoring church. Although potentially divisive debate was anticipated, the meeting proceeded very smoothly. Discussion was heard fairly from all sides until everybody that wished to speak had an opportunity. A ballot vote was called with 42 voting delegates present representing at least 19 churches. The result was 31 in favor of the amendment, 8 against, and 3 abstaining. The policy is the result of four years of dialogue involving local churches and the cabinet of the region. Patty Jenkins and Kelly Sprinkle of Grace Baptist in Chicago (a Welcoming & Affirming church) commented, “...we are happy that the Metro Chicago region has taken this historic step toward honoring the witness of gay and lesbian Christians.... This decision...calls upon the churches and individuals to trust one another. It is our hope that, as we begin to more fully trust one another, we may begin to seek reconciliation in regard to issues of human sexuality.” Upcoming Gatherings 23-25 May “Never Turning Back,” 13th Annual More Light Conference, Portland Oregon. Contact Dick Hasbany, 541-345-44720. 26 June W&A Biennial Meeting and Service of Worship for attendees of ABCUSA’s Biennial Meeting. Contact Brenda J. Moulton, 508/226-1945. 28-30 June “Wade On In: Dancing at the Water’s Edge,” La Verne, California. A weekend of worship and the arts. Contact Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, 712/722-6906. 30 June-3 July “A Rainbow of Hope,” 17th National UCCL/GC Gathering, Ohio State University, Columbus. Celebrates the Coalition’s 25th anniversary. Special invitation to young people. Contact Jan Griesinger, UCCL/GC, 1-800/653-0799. 24-27 July “Come to the Table,” 5th National Reconciling Congregation Convocation, Atlanta, Georgia. Contact RCP, 773/736-5526. 25 July GLAD Alliance meeting, Denver, Colorado. Contact Eugene Brink, 719/488-0458. Greater Atlanta Presbytery Retains Member After Sex Change Greater Atlanta Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) has voted that a minister ordained as a man can retain ordination after a sex-change operation. It is believed to be the world’s first case of a mainstream church body giving such official recognition to a transsexual person. The matter became an issue for the church when Eric Swenson, a 49-year-old father of two adult daughters, asked for a change of name—to Erin—in church records. Swenson had undergone a sex change. After considering the situation for a year and debating it at a meeting on 22 October 1996, the presbytery voted 186 to 161 that Swenson could retain her ordination. A Gift of Song Received The ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns recently received a wonderful “gift of song” from longtime Coalition member, Mary Dougherty, of Seattle, Washington. In consultation with musician, Skylar Carroll, also of Seattle, Mary commissioned noted composer and lecturer Brian Wren to write a hymn that would give musical expression to the joy and challenge of being Open and Affirming congregations. Wren responded with not one but two hymn texts, “Great Love, Your Loveliness Is Signed” and “Come, Let Us Welcome, With Warm Acclamation.” They will be sung for the first time this summer at the UCCL/GC’s 17th National Gathering in Columbus, Ohio. James Forbes to Preach at W&A Service Rev. Dr. James A. Forbes, Jr., senior minister of the Riverside Church in New York City, will preach at a W&A Service of Worship, sponsored by the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists for attendees of the ABCUSA Biennial Meeting. Dr. Forbes is internationally known as the “preacher’s preacher.” The service will be held at Christ Church Cathedral in Indianapolis on Thursday, 26 June, at 4:30. The public is invited. Immediately preceeding the service (at 3:00), W&A Baptists will gather at the Hyatt Regency Hotel for their biennial business meeting and will then process to the Cathedral for worship. For more information, contact Brenda J. Moulton, Association Coordinator, 508/226-1945. Bisexual Writers Sought Writings by bisexual people of faith are needed for an anthology. Personal reflections/stories, academic/theological essays, journal entries, liturgy/prayers, poetry/songs welcome. Deadline: 30 August 1997 (extensions okay). For complete submission information, contact Amanda Udis-Kessler, 617/273- 9462 or 617/776-8540, email: aukcrc@world.std.com. 32 Open Hands QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Airing Out Closets (Summer 1996) ___ Transgender Realities (Fall 1996) ___ Sowing Seeds of Inclusion (Winter 1997) ___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue • Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526; fax—773/736-5475 PRECONVOCATION FORUMS FOR: • clergy • parents of l/g/bi persons • persons of color • youth, students, & seminarians July 24-27, 1997 Emory University, Atlanta Don’t Miss It! The fifth national convocation of Reconciling Congregations a spirit-filled gathering of the whole family of God AD Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 4 - Same-Sex Unions https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ce6579b16138bdd30ab961e896602e2a.pdf ef8a8ce61756abe0f1c70a935380596c Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1997 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 3 Winter 1997 2 Open Hands Sowing Seeds of Inclusion ENVISION THE HARVEST Sowing with Patient Endurance 4 JAMES PRESTON In the parable of the sower and the seed, Jesus offered a reality check on how God’s Word is spread and how growth and change occurs. Evangelism: Broadcasting God’s Grace 7 GEORGE WILLIAMSON, JR. How does a church reach out to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered communities who have been rejected by world and church? The Dual Ministries of Welcoming Churches 8 ROGER S. POWERS Welcoming churches are called both to a prophetic witness and to a pastoral ministry. PLANT MANY SEEDS Sowing Inclusive Love in the Rural Heartland 10 RUSSELL GRIMES AND COLE WILLIAMS Some folks sow inclusion by “planting” themselves in the midst of a community. Breaching a Wall of Silence in the South 12 RUTH JAECKEL A laywoman sows seeds of inclusion through her witness to southern clergy. Old Roots, New Branches: Cultivating Inclusion in Asian-American Churches 14 VAN DIXON Three California Asian-American churches take a welcoming stance based on their own cultural experiences and processes. Vol. 12 No. 3 Winter 1997 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1997 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Winter 1997 3 Next Issue: Same-Sex Marriage Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Designer In Print—Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dan Hooper, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Campus Ministries: Rich Soil 16 ANASTASIA HACOPIAN The campus is an arena where some students are taking the United Methodist potential to be progressive—and are running with it! Opened Doors—A Transsexual’s Experience 18 ASHLEY LYNN SUPER An Iowa church provides safe space, personal support, and an advocacy witness for transsexual persons in their midst. Sowing Inclusivity in the Moravian Church 19 MARY V. BORHEK Moravians are the “new kids on the block” in the evergrowing ecumenical welcoming movement in the United States and Canada. SUSTAIN THE SPIRIT Sowing Seeds of Hope 20 An ecumenical pride service, held at Grant Park- Aldersgate UMC in Atlanta, Georgia, plants seeds of hope. ASIDES Welcoming Program Diversity ... 6 ANN B. DAY Top Ten Reasons Why ............. 7 ALLEN V. HARRIS Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday ................................ 7 EDITOR A (Baker’s) Dozen Tips ............ 9 MEL WHITE What is MoSAIC?.................. 16 ANASTASIA HACOPIAN Transgender Advocacy in Iowa .................................. 18 TOUT & ANNA MARIE APPLEBY Faith’s Pastor Reflects ........... 18 MARSHA ACORD SELECTED RESOURCES 22 W&A PHOTO STORY 23 CHURCH PROFILES 24 MOVEMENT NEWS 26 WELCOMING LIST 27 4 Open Hands Most of us have experienced the universal Sunday School exercise of planting seeds in small cups and placing them on window sills, a lesson in how God makes things grow. We left, only to return the following Sundays to see if the seed had sprouted, generated one leaf, or possibly burst forth into a full-grown plant. Often, the seeds did not grow at the same rate—and a few never even sprouted. I remember returning a few times to find unmoved dark soil or the brittle remains of a dead stem. It did not matter whether the cause was a lack of water, faulty seeds, or an accidental spill; I was always devastated to arrive and discover nothingness or, worse yet, death and deterioration. Soil Conditions In the parable of the sower and the seed (Luke 8:4-15), Jesus compares the Word of God to seeds and communities of faith to fields. He reveals his deep connection to the earth by sharing his wisdom of why some seeds flourish, some struggle to continue on, and others die. This story is less about seeds and farmers and more about fields and their receptivity to kernels of potential fruit and life. In ancient Palestine, the field was plowed first with simple plows that barely scratched the surface. Sowers then walked across the broken ground with sacks of seeds, scattering the kernels by hand. Finally, with their simple plows, they again moved the soil over the seeds.1 Considering the planting process, it is easy to understand why many of the seeds never produced fruit for the harvest. As Jesus states, some fell on wellworn paths, only to be eaten by passing Envision the Harvest birds. Others fell on rocky soil and withered without water. Certain seeds rested among the weeds, only to be overcome and strangled. Thankfully, some fell on good soil and produced a hundred-fold. Ironically, Jesus is not speaking of a regular harvest; a ten-fold return would have been a good yield. Instead, he is proclaiming that the soil was so rich and fertile that the yields were unbelievable!2 From the warm, rich, and receptive soil comes a harvest far greater than ever expected. The workers gather what seems to be an endless source of fruit and abundance. From this harvest, all are fed, nourished, and strengthened. Jesus appears to be offering a reality- check to a faith community in need of clarity about how God’s liberating and empowering Word does—and does not— take hold and grow. It is not a story of easy solutions and how-to’s. Jesus is speaking candidly and honestly, providing a stronger foundation for future direction and vision. Naming the truth about our situation often helps us gain our bearings and reframe our efforts and work. As a child of farm life, I learned that knowing the exact location of weed patches and rocky areas resulted in additional work and care for those difficult places in the field. The best Sunday School teachers know where to place the cups for the best sunlight. They remember to water the seeds during the week before the children arrive the next Sunday. Church Conditions In his later explanation of the parable, Jesus reveals the true composition of good soil. Communities and persons who hear God’s word and “hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear By James Preston What does the parable of the sower say to us about the growing edges of the welcoming movement? Winter 1997 5 fruit with patient endurance” embody fertile ground (Luke 8:15, NRSV). Luke’s use of the Greek word, hypomene, for “patient” conveys a strong connection to endurance and perseverance. It represents people of faith who hold out in the face of extreme opposition and do not succumb like shallow-rooted folks.3 Faithfulness and persistence nurture and strengthen the seed so it can break through the barrier of the surface and bear bountiful yields. As planters in the welcoming movement, we are scattering seeds of inclusion in so many places. We scatter seeds in congregations and campus ministries which have never heard the message of welcoming gay men, lesbian women, and bisexual persons. We pitch kernels in new geographical regions and in communities of faith representing different cultures. We frequently have to re-seed fields where the welcoming message was sown before. After the planting, we wait. We often approach the furrows and flower boxes of our work only to find less than fertile earth. Like the seed in the parable, the message of welcome for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people can come to rest in indifferent or hostile environments. Naming the soil-conditions and realities of those congregations, campus ministries, and judicatory bodies— like Jesus named the various soils of the parable— may help us identify new directions and possibilities for our welcoming work. In some places, the word of welcome is just ignored, explained away, or denied. The seed is prevented from taking root; it is thrown out as irrelevant. Comments include: This issue is not our issue! Why do we need to do this? The church is already welcoming! Often, individuals and communities of faith are hardened like well-worn paths, unable to embrace the word and receive joy and grace. In other places, the welcoming message falls upon the ears of folks who take immediate action without intentional plan. With excitement and enthusiasm, they make quick plans and begin work. Yet, when the first sign of opposition, confusion, or difficulty surfaces, the effort withers and fades. This process is just too hard and requires too much. I don’t Differences and trials are named upfront. Folks are open to the Spirit’s guidance. Impurities and stones still can be found in this soil; it is not a perfect garden where all people are alike or of one mind. Yet, the rich diversity, blended with a sense of openness and care, makes this dirt a setting for abundant harvest. Instead of blind urgency or easy surrender, this group embraces God’s call and prepares to endure with patience as they face the new frontiers of the welcoming process. Faithful Perseverance In actuality, we rarely scatter seeds in plots containing only dark, rich soil. We are more frequently sowing in the broad, diverse fields of congregations, campus ministries, and denominational bodies. Various soil conditions exist throughout the terrain of the church, just as they do on most farms. Knowing those varying situations across the field can be helpful. We may be able to want to create any conflict; there’s no place for it in the church. The seed does not become rooted in the underground stream of conviction and calling that is connected to God’s justice. In certain situations, the welcoming process finds itself among aggressive weeds which intentionally sabotage the journey of education and discernment with anger, threats, and occasional misinformation. Our church will close if we even talk about this stuff. We will not fund the campus ministry anymore if this happens. A sense of danger and threat may exist in varying degrees, but honesty and hospitality are difficult to find. Those working for a greater sense of openness feel choked-out by the meanspiritedness and hostility. However, some seeds fall upon good soil. That ground warmly receives the message to welcome all of God’s children. People study, pray, and struggle together as they determine a vision and direction for themselves and the congregation of which they are a part. “A sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell on the path and was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered for lack of moisture. Some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew with it and choked it. Some fell into good soil, and when it grew, it produced a hundred-fold.” —Luke 8:4-8 NRSV more ➟ 6 Open Hands WELCOMING PROGRAM DIVERSITY Do you think all “welcoming congregations” are alike in terms of membership and location? Not so! Here is a sampling of our diversity. SETTING Rural Bethel Congregational, UCC, White Salmon, WA (ONA) Craryville United Methodist, Craryville, NY (RCP) White Bear Unitarian Universalist, Mahtomedi, MN (WEL) Suburban Oak Park Mennonite, Oak Park, IL (SUP) St. Andrews Christian, Olathe, KS (O&A) Trinity Lutheran, Lansdale, PA (RIC) Inner City Madison Avenue Baptist, New York, NY (W&A) Reformation Lutheran, Washington, DC (RIC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian, San Francisco, CA (ML) GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION Northeast First United Methodist, Oneonta, NY (RCP) Mennonite Congregation of Boston, MA (SUP) Somesville Union Meeting House, Mt. Desert, ME (ONA) Southeast Clifton Presbyterian, Atlanta, GA (ML) Pullen Memorial Baptist, Raleigh, NC (W&A) Unitarian Universalist of Chattanooga, TN (WEL) Northwest Anchorage Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, AK (WEL) Portland Peace Church of the Brethren, Portland, OR (SUP) University Congregational, Seattle, WA (ONA) Southwest Christ Lutheran, Santa Fe, NM (RIC) Midway Hills Christian, Dallas, TX (O&A) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC, Tucson, AZ (RCP) Midwest Central Congregational UCC, Topeka, KS (ONA) Judson Memorial Baptist, Minneapolis, MN (W&A) Mt. Auburn Presbyterian, Cincinnati, OH (ML) ETHNIC/CULTURAL MAKEUP Fellowship United Methodist, Vallejo, CA, Filipino-American (RCP) Pine United Methodist, San Francisco, CA, Japanese-American (RCP) St. Mark’s United Methodist, Stockton, CA, Chinese/Multicultural (RCP) University Church, Chicago, IL, Multicultural (O&A, ONA) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Campus Christian Community (Mary Washington College), Fredericksburg, VA (RCP–ecumenical) Illinois Disciples Foundation (University of Chicago), Champaign, IL (O&A– denominational) United Campus Ministry (Ohio University), Athens, OH (W&A, RCP– ecumenical) —Compiled by Ann B. Day (ONA) KEY ML More Light (Presbyterian, USA) ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) O&A Open & Affirming (Christian Church - Disciples) RCP Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist) RIC Reconciled in Christ (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) SUP Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite) W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) WEL Welcoming Congregations (Unitarian Universalist) remove the weeds, provide water, and break hardened ground. More importantly, we can be assured that good soil exists there as well. It may need to be tilled, reworked, and spread into less than fertile places, but it is there, ready to receive God’s call to be a truly inclusive church. The good soil consists of people convicted and called to include gay men, lesbian women, and bisexual persons in the full life of the church. “Good-soil” folks are committed to faithful perseverance in spite of weeds, rocks, and hard-packed surfaces. As the new millennium approaches, welcoming congregations, campus ministries, and other groups are still being called to scatter seeds of inclusion in well-known fields and in undeveloped lands. God asks us to embrace the message of hospitality with an honest and good heart and to bear fruit with patient endurance. Our work and ministry will bear fruit; for I know the day will come when no children of God will go to the window sill to discover a dead stem. Instead, all will find abundant life! ▼ Notes 1Frederick W. Danker, Jesus and the New Age: A Commentary on St. Luke’s Gospel, (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1988), p. 176. 2Robert A. Spivey & D. Moody Smith, Anatomy of the New Testament: A Guide to Its Structure and Meaning, (New York: Macmillan, 1982), p. 228. 3Danker, p. 177. James Preston, a United Methodist pastor, is outreach coordinator for the Reconciling Congregation Program. He is a co-author of We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays (Westminster/ John Knox). Winter 1997 7 The church’s engagement with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people ought to be a matter of evangelism. However, this will almost certainly result in a shedding of an old, dried-out skin that has encased the soul of evangelism— and an emerging of a renewed, clean vision of it. Evangelism is not “soul winning,” the vanquishing or competitive victory over the individual’s inwardness. It is, rather, the mutual discovery, among people with different experiences of the gospel, of the breakthrough of God in history. Evangelism begins with listening. Jesus asked the blind beggar, Bartemaeus, “What do you want me to do?” (Mark 10:51, NRSV). In these post-Crusade, post-pogrom, post-Holocaust days, Christians do not have the right to inflict their faith, their judgment, or their perception of God’s promise upon any lesbian, gay man, bisexual, or transgender person. Precisely, as Christians, we bear the history of persecution and damnation for these people. Until we have asked about, and listened to, their experience of us and their particular need, there is nothing we can say with integrity. Having listened, we continue evangelism with confession. “Silver and gold have I none...” said Peter to the man who asked for financial assistance (Acts 3:6, KJV). Whatever the particular need a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person might reveal to us, we don’t have what they need. If our listening is authentic, we will be stricken with this inescapable awareness. Specifically, the affirmation needed in the face of Christian rejection is inherently paternalistic— coming from us. What is needed is inclusion, which can only be offered as inclusion into a world pre-structured with “straightist” priorities and sensibilities. The good news needed is news that our own homophobia has disappeared. Having confessed the poverty of our resources, we go on to risk the offer. Peter continued his response to the man: “...but such as I have, give I to thee.” This is an offer that will probably be rejected. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people have no reason to trust a Christian. Our offer therefore needs to be a standing offer, a blank check, an IOU that may or may not be cashed in. The offer needs to be cast on the waters and left thereafter to God. And make no mistake, all that we Christians have to offer anyone is the grace of God—which is given to, not won by, us. To engage in evangelism means to stand with the rejected community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, putting ourselves at risk before the mean world and, especially, before the mean church of the world. In the end, engaging in evangelism means to wait, to be ready. God will break through. On this we can rely. The breakthrough of God will come to us all. It will transform all of us— gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight people—together. Evangelism is needed wherever people are alienated from God. In our time, whatever else this means, evangelism means invoking the gospel wherever there is homophobia among straight people and wherever gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people experience persecution. If a Christian church does not effectively confront and seek healing for its own homophobia and offer what it has in the face of oppression of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, it is not engaged in evangelism.▼ George Williamson, Jr., Ph.D., is pastor of First Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio. First Baptist was the first church in the history of the American Baptist Churches, USA, to be disfellowshipped for standing with the gay and lesbian community. TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOUR CONGREGATION SHOULD BECOME WELCOMING... 10. Finally your church softball team will have a winning season! 9. You will NEVER have to worry about flower arrangements behind the communion table again! 8. Your congregation will have a new sense of honesty in all that you do. 7. Your organist will thank you. 6. You will have the distinct joy of being a safer place for mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles of lesbians and gay men who never before could tell anyone their “secret.” 5. Your pastor will be able to ask someone that nagging question she’s had for years: Does her flaxen alb go better with her fall wardrobe or her winter wardrobe? 4. Your community will share in some of the most incredible stories of pain and triumph, passion and perseverance. 3. You’ll get to march in a parade and wear bright colors! 2. People will come to your church because they want to be a part of a community which is willing both to proclaim justice and to live justice. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY YOUR CHURCH SHOULD BECOME WELCOMING: 1. It’s the work of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! —Allen V. Harris Source This list was first published in Cross Links, a publication of the O&A Ministries Program (October 1996), p. 2. Used with permission. Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday For the past several years, ecumenical leaders of the welcoming movement have designated the last Sunday in January as “Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday.” On 26 January 1997, local congregations and campus ministries in nine denominations were invited to celebrate in worship the work that their communities have done to welcome lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and to thank God for the gifts and graces of being an inclusive community. Several of the national welcoming programs prepare liturgical resource packets each fall to provide ideas for local worship preparations. If your welcoming group has not participated in Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday, we invite you to plan to do so in 1998. —Editor By George Williamson, Jr. 8 Open Hands Today, we join with churches across the country in celebrating the growing witness of the welcoming churches movement—those congregations that publicly welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons into full membership and participation in the life of their churches….1 As most of you know, Church of the Covenant counts itself among these welcoming churches. Our church was one of the first Presbyterian congregations in the country to declare itself a More Light church, doing so almost fifteen years ago in September of 1980. Until recently, we were the only More Light Presbyterian church in the state of Massachusetts. Our church was also one of the first United Church of Christ congregations in the nation, and the first in the Massachusetts Conference, to declare itself an Open and Affirming UCC church. And so it seems only appropriate, given the leading role that our church has played in the past, to lift up today the witness of the more than 700 local churches in the welcoming churches movement…. You’re Welcome, But… Presbyterian theologian Robert McAfee Brown has said that to open the doors of church membership to gays and lesbians but not to allow them to hold office is “unjust, un-Christian, unbiblical, and very bad theology.” It relegates gay and lesbian Christians to the status of second-class citizens in the church. In response, [welcoming] churches proclaim their intention to welcome all persons into the life, membership, and leadership of their congregations regardless of sexual orientation…. We are very much in the minority. The Holy Spirit is moving in the world, but most of the church is being dragged along behind, kicking and screaming. Most churches still are afraid to discuss the subject of sexuality, not to mention homosexuality, and are even less apt to publicly welcome gay and lesbian Christians into their midst. Most churches today might as well have a sign over their doors saying “For Heterosexuals Only.” Oh sure, there are many churches who claim to welcome all people, but there is a subtext in their welcome. You are welcome, but if you’re gay, you can’t be ordained to a leadership role in our church. You’re welcome, but we will encourage you to repent of your “lifestyle.” You’re welcome, as long as you’re celibate. You’re welcome, but don’t ask us to bless your union with someone of the same sex. You’re welcome, and you’ll be glad to know that we have a counseling program that can cure you. You’re welcome, but please don’t come out of the closet; we don’t really want to know who you are. Many gay and lesbian Christians know this all too well from personal experience and, as a result, feel terribly alienated and ostracized by the church. Thank God for welcoming churches like Covenant. To be homosexual in a homophobic and heterosexist society is hard enough. But to also be a person of faith and have no faith community where you feel loved and accepted and where you can be yourself is a tragedy. Welcoming churches are oases of living water for gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians who have wandered through a desert of homophobic churches…. The Real Sin Many in the religious community will say that of course we are to love everyone just as God loves us. We are to love the sinner, but hate the sin. Well, it’s time we said in a loud and clear voice, and without reservation, that homosexuality is not a sin! On the contrary, sexuality, of whatever kind, is a beautiful gift from God and it should be celebrated. What is a sin is the oppression of people based on their sexuality. The sin of heterosexism is alive and well in America. That is what the religious community and our society as a whole need to repent of. The sin of heterosexism causes a great deal of injury, pain, and heartache for gay men and lesbians:
the tremendous anxiety over whether they will be accepted and loved if they decide to come out to parents and other family members;
the terrible feelings of loss after coming out to a parent or family member and not being accepted;
having to choose between those you love during the holidays, whether to spend them with your partner or with your family on your own;
not being able to express affection for a loved one in public, without risking verbal harassment or even physical attack;
having to weigh the risk of coming out to colleagues at work, and the possible consequences that might entail;
always being careful not to inadvertently out your friends;
constantly having to put up with or fight against society’s assumption that you are heterosexual, and that if you are in a relationship, your partner is of the opposite sex. It’s a tough world out there. That is why the commitment of Covenant to welcome all people is so important. There are too few places where we can find a community of love and support, source of healing and strength, and a place where we can be inspired and challenged to work for God’s justice and peace in the world. Excerpts from a Sermon Preached 29 January 1995 Based on Jeremiah 1:4-10 and 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 By Roger S. Powers Winter 1997 9 Prophetic and Pastoral Ministries …Ours is a prophetic witness. Like Jeremiah, we are called by God “to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.” We are called “to break down” the walls of homophobia in our hearts and in those of our neighbors, “to destroy and to overthrow” the oppressive attitudes and structures of heterosexism in the church and in society, “to build and to plant” the seeds of a new society in which all people are treated with justice and love regardless of sexual orientation. Heterosexual Christians have a special role to play as allies in this struggle, particularly within denominations that deny gay and lesbian members ordination to leadership positions in the church. In many church meetings, gay and lesbian voices are excluded…either [because they are] forced to be closeted or…because they have not been ordained to leadership positions in the church. Therefore, I believe heterosexual allies have a responsibility to speak out against homophobia and heterosexism in the church and in society, especially in those forums where gay and lesbian voices have been excluded or silenced. Like the abolitionists of the nineteenth century who fought against slavery, like the suffragists who fought for the rights of women, and like the African- American churches that fought for civil rights, we are fighting today for gay rights, and with God’s help we, too, shall overcome. Ours is also a pastoral calling, for the Christian community is deeply divided over this issue. On the one hand, the church has been the source of tremendous pain and sadness for gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians and their allies. We have a special responsibility to care for the wounded who come through Covenant’s doors seeking healing, comfort, love, and acceptance. On the other hand, the Christian community is also full of people whose homophobia has hardened their hearts. We have a responsibility to speak the truth to them, but to do so with love and compassion in ways that they can hear us and not simply reject us out of hand. For ministry to be whole, I am convinced, these two components— the prophetic and the pastoral— though sometimes in tension, must be held in balance. And it is the love of God operating in the human heart that is at the root of both of them. It is our love for all people that leads us to our prophetic witness as a More Light/Open and Affirming church. And it is love that motivates our pastoral concern for people on both sides of a divided church community. A love that is patient and kind. A love that is not jealous or boastful, arrogant or rude. A love that does not insist on its own way, and is not irritable or resentful. A love that does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. A love that fears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things….▼ A (Baker’s) Dozen Tips for Reaching the Loving Middle By Mel White 1. We don’t have enemies (of inclusivity). We have potential friends. (Remember Saul of Tarsus, just waiting for the light.) 2. Write out your list of potential friends and pray for them. (God may need to work on you before you begin to work on them.) 3. Our potential friends are simply victims of misinformation. (Give them a break. We were once victims of the same untruths.) 4. Bring them the truth, in love, relentlessly. (The “soul force” solution of Gandhi and King.) 5. Ask your potential friends to share their views and experiences. (By listening, we learn the cause of their fears and help to alleviate them.) 6. If you are lesbian or gay, come out every chance you get. (“Hi, I’m Donna and I’m a Lesbyterian...”) 7. If you are lesbigay friendly, come out every chance you get. (“Hi, I’m Donna and I love God’s gay and lesbian children. Don’t you?”) 8. Carry copies of your favorite supportive brochure. (Example: The APA’s Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation.) 9. Pass out copies to your potential friends like business cards or Halloween treats. (“Take this brochure. There will be a test.”) 10. Subscribe to Open Hands for every one on your potential friend list. (“I didn’t know it was about gays! I thought it was about gardening.”) 11. Invite your potential friends over to meet your favorite lesbigay neighbors. (“Guess who’s coming to dinner!”) 12. Take potential friends to lesbigay concerts, welcoming services, Pride events. (“Surprise!”) 13. Give them a copy of Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. (They get the message. And I get seventy-five cents. What a deal.) Mel White, former ghostwriter for leaders of the religious right, is national justice minister for the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. Source This article is excerpted from a sermon published in More Light Update (April 1995), pp. 1-5. Subtitles added. P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. Excerpted with permission of author. Note 1At this point in the sermon, Powers named the denominational welcoming programs and the numbers of welcoming churches. As of January 1997, there are 735 welcoming churches in the United States and Canada. See p. 27. Roger S. Powers is an elder of the Church of the Covenant in Boston. He is an M.Div. student at Andover Newton Theological School and serves on the National Commit- Photo: Peter Klotz-Chamberlain tee of the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship. 10 Open Hands Rural Gay Realities We now live in Effingham, Illinois, a rural community with a population of just over 12,000. It is located two hours east of St. Louis, two hours west of Indianapolis, and four hours south of Chicago. In a nut shell, we live in the heart of rural America— and we love it. When we moved here four years ago, we knew no one in the community and had no connections to any support group. We have never hidden our relationship, but do not go out of our way to make an issue of our gayness. Both of our cars have Christian and gay symbols on them and we both wear earrings. Other than that, we are typical middleaged human beings. Our goal is to have people get to know us as honest, caring, Christian individuals. We have found that, when we develop friendships and working relationships on that level, our being gay becomes unimportant. Most people “figure it out” or a need arises for us to come out. When that happens, our being gay becomes a non-issue. We live in a neighborhood that is entirely made up of families and older couples. We do yard work together, eat out as a couple, and do other daily activities— just as any other married couple. We overhear negative remarks occasionally and we know that we are not accepted by all with whom we come Plant Many Seeds We have been a couple for nine years. We met at Faith Eternal Metropolitan Community Church in Springfield, Illinois. In 1989, we were united in Holy Union at Faith Eternal. We both come from a “church” background and the basis of our relationship is our Christian faith. Church attendance and spiritual growth are very important to us. Cole is an ordained elder in the Presbyterian church and Russell was active in the United Methodist Church. We feel God answered our individual prayers by bringing us together. God’s hand is still very evident in our daily living as a couple. Russ is fifty-seven years old and was married for twentyfive years. He has two married sons and five grandchildren. His younger son has severed their relationship and will not allow Russ to have contact with his four grandchildren because Russ proclaims to be gay and Christian. His son says he could accept him if Russ would confess he can not be a Christian and gay. However, his other son and his wife are accepting of Russell’s sexual orientation and allow Russ to visit and spoil his granddaughter. Cole is forty-six and was married for fifteen years. He has a very close relationship with his married daughter. When we moved in together, Cole had custody of his then sixteen-yearold daughter. She refers to Russ as her stepdad. By Russell Grimes and Cole Williams Winter 1997 11 into contact. However, on the whole, people understand that we are a couple and accept that as a fact. They also understand that our gayness tells a small part of the story of who we are. It is not the definition of who we are, but is one part of how God has created us and, we believe, brought us together as a couple. Finding a Church Home Shortly after we moved to Effingham, we began attending the largest church in town, which had been recommended to us. We joined that church a few months later. Before making the decision to join the church, we told the assistant pastor that we were a couple and needed a church that could minister to us as a couple. We were told this was not a problem. We talked a great deal with the assistant pastor and felt he was ready to minister to us as a Christian couple. After about six months it became evident that we were not being included in many of the activities that made up the life of this church. We were turned away when we offered any time or talents to the church. It was time to look for a new church home. Cole suggested we visit the Presbyterian church in town. That week the minister came to our home to visit. We were very open about our relationship and our church needs as a family. The minister was more than taken aback. He did not try to hide the dilemma he was facing. The congregation was very mixed in age and in outlook. He explained that many members were very conservative and he was not sure how we would be accepted. He also said some of the congregation welcomed diversity but had never dealt with a gay couple. His open and frank discussion of the problems we might face was insightful. It opened the way for some in-depth discussion about our spiritual needs and our faith. The minister never made us feel unwelcome, but he did show he was realistic about what gay couples face whenever they step into the “mainstream” of small town America. Reverend Holloway was supportive, open, a little frightened, and very willing to minister to our family. His heartfelt concerns never made us wonder about his support. Rather, they made us feel he understood the issues we face on a daily basis. We are now members of the church. Cole taught Vacation Bible School this summer. When the minister asked the coordinator if she realized we were gay and if that made a difference, her answer was “yes, I am aware of that fact, but why would that matter?” We also attend the monthly couples’ dinner club and participate in other activities in the church. We feel very included and have been able to continue to grow as Christians in our new church home. When one of us is not able to attend church, people ask if we are ill or if there is a problem. Being Visible Seeds As a couple, we have made many friends of all ages in the church and community. We feel accepted and loved. There is not a great deal of conversation about our being a gay couple. However, we know that our presence has opened some minds. Our visibility puts a face to an often invisible segment of the population of our little community. Rural communities do not lend themselves to living on the sidelines. It is very hard to disappear into the crowd and not be noticed. You can isolate yourself, but the community still knows you are there. We like knowing our neighbors and being involved in the life of the community. We have taken our time to be accepted and enjoy the feeling of community and the pace of living in a rural area. True Christians show God’s inclusive love when they are given the opportunity. This opportunity can not come from demands or threats. It comes only when people see God’s light shining in your life. Our goal is to live as a couple in a community that we enjoy. We can not force people to accept us. However, we can guide them to see us as individuals and as members of the family of God. We believe we are planting the seed of God’s inclusive love in this small community just by being who we are— a Christian gay couple. ▼ Russell Grimes (right) ended his twentyfive- year career managing public entertainment and convention centers to stay home to care for his ninety-twoyear- old aunt who lives in Cole and Russell’s home. Cole Williams, who taught for sixteen years, now works for the Illinois Education Association, an affiliate of NEA. They are members of First Presbyterian Church in Effingham, Illinois. 12 Open Hands Going Public I have distributed the above position statement (with some updating) since August 1995. Why did I go public? Friends lost their son to AIDS. They grieve in self-imposed isolation. Their anger due to the associated stigma is barely repressed. The son and his mother and dad loved one another dearly, but he died without their sharing an important fact about his life. Now they never can. A tragedy compounded! He died feeling their disapproval of any sexual orientation other than their own. It’s as if in all creation, in this single aspect of life, there is not diversity as in all others. Prior to my commitment to being open and looking for a support group, I talked to a pastor. He responded, “I am sorry. There are some families affected in this church, too.” However, no introduction was forthcoming. Couldn’t be! Everyone is closeted about homosexuality— including ministers. All that is heard is the loud condemnation from the religious and political right and from their gay bashing mimics. What accounts for this passive silence from those who should be speaking out clearly for the marginalized, the beleaguered? “You will know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:20 NRSV). The church went on with its building program. As we approach the year 2000, this most enlightened nation has ceased obeying biblical commands to chop off hands and pluck out eyes. However, we are still doing the equivalent of stoning people—we use high tech. As in the days of old, those who cast the stones claim the high ground in the mode of the prophet who called upon the bear to maul the children who were annoying him (2 Kings 2:24). The accusers’ open condemnation of homosexual persons has been tolerated partly because they have gained power through effective use of media to persuade and to focus fears. There is a connection, for instance, between the accusers’ message and the embarrassment— yea, rejection—of children by their parents. Ministers know horror stories about such breakdowns in family relationships. Among the related consequences of “high-tech stoning” is the fact that AIDS support systems are few and far between in north Mississippi. The overall lack of compassionate action is related to the attitude behind the “stoning” by print journalism and by TV and radio broadcasts from the right. I decided to “come forth” to break through the awful silence of shame that is without reasonable basis. Finding an Approach How could I become engaged in north Mississippi? Where, north of Jackson, is there a mentor, let alone a “free” support group? Is there one courageous church openly welcoming gay, bisexual, and lesbian persons? Is an interfaith system offering group sharing, perhaps through Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), a national organization with experience and expertise? Who is available for conflicted parents suffering cascades of anger and selfdoubt? “May I ask you a question?” The anxious mother of a seventeen-year-old lad wanted to know, “Do gays go to hell?” Who is reassuring such parents? By Ruth Jaeckel “As an act of love, I am coming out of the closet as a parent of a gay son. Years ago, when he was a baby, he was baptized by the church. In 1996, the United Methodist Church, considering the sacrament of baptism as a gift of divine grace, decided to confer full membership along with ‘further profound theological implications.’ To promote reconciliation and affirmation, I also am coming out in order to be visibly supportive of other parents and siblings of persons who are gay, bisexual, and lesbian. “Our family supported our son and his partner’s relationship. About the partner’s illness and death, another of our three sons noted that our attitude and concern should be the same as if it were his wife or our other daughter-in-law. We parents are as proud of our heterosexual sons as we are of our homosexual son. We accept and enjoy the diversity of their characteristics: hair and eye colors, heights, God-given talents. We thrive on the variety of their interests. We back their goals and share their pleasure in accomplishments. We are glad for the love and pride our family members have for each other.” Winter 1997 13 “The key is the active support and involvement of the pastor. The leadership of clergy is vital. Though other highranking members of congregations can provide leadership, they cannot replace clergy acceptance and support. When clergy speak from the pulpit about the issue in a neutral or positive way, congregants feel they can come forward, seek information or counseling, and voice concerns.” —Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN), New Orleans, LA With few official structures available, I began to talk with individuals: agency directors, editors, lay leaders, and, especially, ministers. I have chosen to approach churches of the denominations listed on the inside cover of Open Hands. Those denominations, the media report, are engaged in study of the issue of homosexuality. I phone ahead to ask for an appointment, telling the person that I wish to talk about homosexuality and AIDS. The first thing I do when I get to the appointment is to pull out of my “Mary Poppins” bag a few framed family pictures to “put a face on it.” Every gay person is a whole, unique, complicated, and real person. Every gay person has a family. In our family photo, everyone, including our son’s partner, is smiling. I leave a file, a heavy paper folder, with each minister. A tight elastic band keeps things from spilling out. The file includes a copy of my position statement; an issue of Open Hands; clippings about the denomination’s position and debate; sermons by William Sloan Coffin and Bishop John Spong; The Church Studies Homosexuality booklet for United Methodists; a chapter from James Nelson’s Embodiment; some basic PFLAG materials, including a Flagpole newspaper; and, sometimes, a copy of We Were Baptized Too, co-authored by James Preston, outreach coordinator of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Ministers’ Responses One minister reminded me of the United Methodist Discipline, the documented current perspective of official delegates to the quadrennial General Conference. He made a copy of the section about homosexuality. Since then, I include copies in the files I hand out. One minister seemed basically patronizing. Another closed our visit with a prayer. He said as I left that my visits with my expressions of concern might be more significant than I knew. One young minister apparently felt insecure counseling a mother grieving (he anticipated) over her son’s sexual orientation. He called in a counselor from an organization that meets regularly with homosexuals with the goal of changing their sexual orientation. The minister and counselor must have been surprised that this mother feels at ease about her son’s sexual integrity, that I am about the business of urging acceptance of each human being, no matter what their sexual orientation. The three of us had an honest, open, and civil “trialogue.” One minister showed keen interest in an Open Hands article about what churches can do to “take the next steps.” No minister showed ire. Only one minister has refused to make an appointment, stating that “Homosexuality is wrong and I have no time to discuss it.” The ministers are concerned about the issue, as I am, and seem to be glad to talk and to share their understanding and stories (while maintaining confidentiality) about hurts and griefs they “I believe, as does retired United Methodist Bishop Melvin E. Wheatley, Jr., that heterosexuality, quite like homosexuality, is neither a virtuous nor a sinful characteristic of one’s nature. Not just neutral, it is a mysterious gift of God’s grace. What I do with my heterosexuality— or others with their homosexuality or bisexuality—is a determinant of my personal, moral, and spiritual responsibility.” —Ruth Jaeckel know about. My purpose is grounded in accepting the challenge of discipleship in the manner of the Quaker John Woolman who put aside his tailoring at times to call upon other Friends in New Jersey and beyond to broach the subject of their freeing their slaves.1 Through my assertive openness, I am finding Mississippians who also want progress in this area. I am finding a network of kindred spirits with whom to work. A new friend, a Catholic priest from a nearby town, focuses on the status of homosexuality and the church and states the case succinctly: “I am aware of many gay and lesbian persons, most afraid to attend church even though they would like to. How can these children of God know God’s great love for them? How can families cope with the challenges surrounding them? How can anyone come forth? How can we breach the [wall of] silence—and find each other?” ▼ Note 1The Journal of John Wolman. Philadelphia: Friends Brookstore, n.d., ch. 8. Introduction by John G. Whittier, 1871. Ruth Jaeckel, a member of the First Unitarian Church, Memphis, Tennessee, lives in Tupelo, Mississippi. She attended Earlham College and graduated from the University of Iowa. PART OF THE JAECKEL FAMILY: Ruth’s husband Hank (center) works with Mississippi Rehab. Their son Karl enjoys square dancing and uses the activity as an aid in bridging communication between the gay and straight community. 14 Open Hands California has been the gateway to the American dream for millions of immigrants from the nations of the Pacific Rim. Today, Asian- American communities are an important component in the region’s diverse mix of peoples and cultures. To understand how their distinctive cultures and their immigrant experience influenced their decision to become welcoming congregations, I spoke to members of three primarily Asian-American United Methodist churches in Northern California that are also Reconciling Congregations. Tom Kawakami and Velma Yemoto are long-time members of Pine UMC, the first Japanese-American United Methodist Church in the country. Situated in San Francisco, Pine’s congregation is about 90 percent Japanese and draws some seventy-five worshipers each Sunday. An associated Japanesespeaking congregation has about thirty members. The church provides other services, including a Japanese-language nursery school, to the city’s Japanesespeaking community. Pine’s congregation is mostly older, as its young people tend to settle out of the city. However, a few young families have recently joined. Fellowship UMC of Vallejo was founded in 1941 to serve that city’s growing Filipino community. Today, Fellowship is a dynamic congregation, with over 250 members of all ages, from older adults to infants. Primarily a church of immigrants, Fellowship serves Filipino-Americans who are struggling to find their place in American society while maintaining their roots— especially the importance of the family—in traditional Filipino culture. Dante de Tablan, thirty-five years old and the father of two teenagers, has been a member of Fellowship since his arrival in the U.S. in 1979. Bill Hunt is a retired pastor and member of St. Mark’s UMC of Stockton. Forty years ago two churches, one Caucasian, the other Chinese-American, merged to form St. Mark’s. Many members— of both churches— left. Those who remained were determined to work together. Today, with about fifty members, St. Mark’s is proud of its multi-racial identity. The congregation is 50 percent Chinese-American, 20 percent Filipino- American, and the rest African-American, Caucasian, and Hispanic. Becoming RCs According to Tom Kawakami, Pine UMC followed a common model in deciding to become a Reconciling Congregation. They hosted a series of discussions and speakers over a six-month period. The discussions were organized by Velma Yemoto, who for many years has worked as a volunteer care-giver for Asian AIDS patients. Through a local gay Asian and Pacific Islander organization, Yemoto found Asian speakers to address the congregation. Gay and lesbian speakers discussed their experiences, their beliefs, and the importance of worship and Christian fellowship in their lives. “We found out they’re not much different from anybody else,” says Kawakami. Later, a panel of parents and their lesbian and gay offspring told of coming to terms with their children’s— or their own—homosexuality. The congregation had a number of younger gay and lesbian members, but they weren’t comfortable speaking in such a forum. “Japanese are kind of closed” about homosexuality, Yemoto explains. The outside speakers provided enough distance to make the discussion easier while maintaining an Asian perspective. At the end of six months, questionaires were sent to the members, and speakers were dispatched to explain the process to the Japanese-speaking congregation. No one raised objections, and Pine voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. Fellowship UMC became a Reconciling Congregation in 1995. The process began with a series of home meetings to discuss welcoming issues: What is the Reconciling Congregation Program and what does it mean to become an RC? What does the Bible say about homosexuality? About welcoming? Members formed a task force and met for nearly a year before presenting their proposal to the church’s administrative council. It passed with a single dissenting vote. The key to success was a strategy of working with the families, with strong support from the pastor, Dr. Tony Ubalde. Before their presentation to the council, members of the task force approached families to ask for their support. De Tablan observes: “For Filipinos, homosexuality is a very hard thing to talk about. The quiet, family-to-family approach saves faces, and allows for discussion and understanding.” Members of Fellowship UMC feel free to bring their friends and lovers to worship. The message of inclusion is reinforced from the pulpit and by the banners and signs that adorn the walls of the church. “This is a hate-free zone,” says one sign. A rainbow banner proclaims, “Called to serve.” As de Tablan says, “We are fighting for ourselves and our children. How are we going to view ourselves? How are we going to view others?” Like Velma Yemoto, Bill Hunt became interested in reconciling issues in response to the AIDS epidemic. For several years, Hunt and his wife Ella Marie have been leading a support group for AIDS care-givers. Hunt has given messages at vigils and provided counseling at an HIV testing site. While helping to lead worship at St. Mark’s, he began to By Van Dixon Winter 1997 15 Parallels Between Racism and Heterosexism While “heterosexism” has not yet entered the common lexicon of these churches, “prejudice” and “discrimination” certainly have. All three churches see their reconciling ministries as reflections of their work in racial minority communities. This was certainly the case for St. Mark’s UMC. Bill Hunt describes St. Mark’s as “a very interracial church. They believe in that strongly, because they believe that’s the way all churches ought to be: open to everyone.” Their old roots in anti-racism work are sprouting new branches. Lessons for Other Churches of Color Dante de Tablan warns against assuming that there is a single path to becoming a welcoming congregation. “Don’t fall into the standard model,” he says, “of study, study, study. The study model may be a predominantly white approach not appropriate for other cultures. Use the traditions of your own culture as a basis for beginning the discussion.” In Filipino culture, the family is the basic social unit, so a familyto- family approach proved successful at Fellowship UMC. If the study model is employed, says Tom Kawakami, be sure that outside experts are people to whom the congregation can relate. “It helped that the speakers and folks on the panels were Asian. Since the congregation is getting older, it was helpful when the parents of gays came. Their experiences alleviated a lot of fears.” Be sure to provide a safe space for questions, even the “gossipy type,” and respect the needs of others to remain silent. If helping a traditionally ethnic or multiracial congregation become more welcoming seems a daunting prospect, take heart. As de Tablan reminds us, the process has already begun. In their discussions with individuals and families, the reconciling task force at Fellowship UMC found that “people had been thinking about this. People had been suffering silently. They had gay family members, or relatives who are sick with AIDS.” One couple whom de Tablan invited to join the task force had a gay son, but hadn’t felt able to tell anyone about him before. Also, the necessary leaders may well be among you. All three congregations had people like Velma Yemoto and Bill Hunt, who had worked for years with people with AIDS and their care-givers or were otherwise involved in the gay community. The trick, then, is in identifying the leaders and other resources in your midst, tapping into your own cultural traditions and modes of discourse, and opening yourself to the gifts that the Spirit provides. ▼ Van Dixon, a former Open Hands editorial assistant, is an astronomer at the University of California and a member of Trinity UMC, an RC in Berkeley, California. TOM KAWAKAMI and VELMA YEMOTO helped their church, Pine UMC in San Francisco, become an RC. share stories from his AIDS work during the weekly announcement period. Two years ago, at St. Mark’s charge conference (an annual congregational meeting), he reported on his work with AIDS care-givers. Noting that many of them were gay or lesbian and in need of a supportive faith community, Hunt concluded, “It would be nice if they had a church where they could feel welcome.” One of the church’s Chinese-American members responded, “We’re open to everyone, so we should be open to these people, too.” The district superintendent suggested a study series on reconciling issues, but St. Mark’s folks said, “Bill and Ella Marie have been educating us for two years!” St. Mark’s became a Reconciling Congregation that very day, for “humanitarian reasons, out of love and concern, without arguing over scriptural issues.” BILL and ELLA MARIE HUNT’s educational steps led to an easy choice for St. Mark’s UMC in Stockton DANTE de TABLAN participated in a quiet family approach to decision making at Fellowship UMC in Vallejo. 16 Open Hands Inclusion is a concept that does not stand isolated. It springs from inherent, deep-rooted, human response. The seed of inclusion must be sown if it is to appear in a place where it was previously absent. An inclusive response is attached to long strings that have their source in the human heart— cultivated to produce a real, natural, just invitation. Without the cultivation that presents it as an embrace, the response is only tolerance. The reconciling movement has reacted with love to an unloving community. The grass roots movement can pinpoint tactile evidence of injustice in the written word of the United Methodist Book of Discipline. However, the reconciling movement has not answered with the more common political urgency to have wording changed, as much as it has responded with the inner workings of love-activists among the people. The movement knows that once seeds have been sown, people can grow into living agents of change. The student movement among United Methodist communities is ripe; it is rich soil. Now is a very exciting and dynamic place and time to be a student in the United Methodist church. God has been sowing some seeds of welcome through campuses. The growing edges of our student movement are pulsating What is MoSAIC? MoSAIC (Methodist Students for All-Inclusive Church) began at breakfast on the last morning of the United Methodist Student Forum in Oklahoma City in May 1996. This budding student network of reconciling United Methodists developed as a response to a defeated Forum vote to urge the United Methodist General Conference to strike homophobic language from the Book of Discipline. For more information, contact RCP at 773/736-5526 or see the home page at http:// www.tde.com/nopendoor.MoSAIC.htm. —Anastasia Hacopian because here are places where things have been picking up and taking off. Why? Well, remember being twenty? Remember being on the threshold of “the beginning of the rest of your life?” What a cosmic carpet one stands on at that threshold! In a college or university environment, we have opportunities to stretch our minds and challenge them to become slightly larger—to make room to chew on the rush of intellectual ideas that come up in classrooms or coffee shops. And what about the experiences of human relationships that develop, coupled with a student’s newfound independence? All of the above guarantee the academic era to be a ripe place for growth. Students, who put themselves (or who may have been put) in a church or campus ministry group in their college environment, also have before them the dynamic promise of spiritual growth opportunity, should they consent to give that opportunity a chance. In the last two and a half years at the University of California at Berkeley, I have said “yes” to two or three United Methodist retreats, conferences, or meetings per semester. There have also been countless work days, outings, Bible studies, coffee hours, projects, meals, conversations. All of these experiences, national and municipal, have cultivated me. At national conferences, I have met United Methodists who are not prochoice, do not know the word “reconciling”, and—more amazing to me—do not favor the ordination of women. But I have met people like me—who, for the first time, meet Methodists who are not “pro-life”, who use inclusive language, who use the word “reconciling.” At minimum, mutual exposure of both kinds is guaranteed. Possibly, respectful dialogue takes place. At best, seeds like that of inclusion are sown. Even if students do not say “yes” to national conferences, they are embraced, hopefully, by their campus ministry community for a time. At minimum, the seed of relationship with God or with peers, or both, is planted. At best, the individual can be a free thinker in a university space and simultaneously embrace faith and spirituality. Through relationships tied together by communities of faith, love can be learned, and non-academic, less secular, rewards affirmed. Here we are, nearing the millennium. In 1997, the word “radical” has exciting, varied, interesting connotations within the Christian church. The United Methodist Church is blessed with an identity and tradition that grants it the potential to be progressive. Some students are taking this potential, calling it empowerment, and are running with it. There is no alternative reality. How can there be? We are living in radical times, churches aside. Social justice issues permeate all venues of “churchless” society. If the church cannot be first to embrace and run with opportunities for social justice, what have we woefully done? Which God are we saying we acknowledge? Whose radical example are we not remembering? By Anastasia Hacopian Winter 1997 17 Sisters and brothers, I encourage you to turn your gaze upon campuses and students. The student experience is rich soil; young adults on the threshold of the rest of their lives are asking, struggling, embracing, weeping, suffering, celebrating. Help us to sow our seeds of love and inclusion now as we stand here on these pulsating edges, empowered with opportunity. ▼ Anastasia Hacopian is a twenty-year-old junior majoring in German at the University of California-Berkeley. In February, she joined the board of directors of the Reconciling Congregation Board. She is co-secretary with RCP student outreach intern Trey Hall for MoSAIC (Methodist Students for All- Inclusive Church). 14th Annual Presbyterian More Light Conference Never Turning Back May 23-25, 1997 • Portland, Oregon Keynote Speaker: Rev. Dr. James Forbes, Jr. Senior Pastor, Riverside Church, New York City One of the 12 “most effective preachers” in the English-speaking world. —Newsweek Workshops/Displays same gender marriage, ex-gay ministries, lesbians and gay men in seminaries, rural and metro area ecumenical cooperation, connections between gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender struggles and issues of racism and immigration For more information and registration form Dick Hasbany • 4025 Dillard Road • Eugene, OR 97405 • 541/345-4720 Groundbreaking Bible Study Now Available! Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are heirs of God. ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and sexuality. ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. 48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide offers flexible teaching plans To order call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program. Mary Jo Osterman An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality Claiming the Promise 18 Open Hands I had just started a new management position in a new town, and was totally alone. The accounting manager, Barb, was an open lesbian. I was immediately encouraged that maybe this small company could accept me as I really am. Barb explained how her holy union had been performed by a local United Methodist minister of a church that was called “reconciling.” She invited me to attend service there. She assured me that they would accept me. They probably had never met a crossdresser before, much less a transsexual. I hadn’t been to church in years. Did I dare go? I wouldn’t know anyone else. Would I be shunned? Would people stare? Would they tell me to leave? Would they laugh? Would someone call the cops? Would my new boss find out and fire me? Does God care? Was this church called Faith United Methodist for real? I had nothing left to lose but my faith in God. Would God abandon me too, just for trying to be myself? It is emotionally hard now for me to remember how life was before I found Faith United Methodist Church. What was worst was being afraid to talk about my feelings with anyone, feeling sick and being alone. Faith UMC opened its doors, not only for me to worship God, but also for a new support and advocacy group for local transsexuals. On 9 April 1996, eighteen people met to discuss the special needs they have as full-time transitioning transsexuals in a trembling, unsympathetic world. There were many different kinds of people, from all ages and backgrounds, plus the spirits of those who could not be there, and wanted to. Some had been living life not knowing any other transsexual. Feeling alone and frightened, they met others like themselves and learned that there are people who care. That night, a couple of people went to a church, who had vowed never to go to a church again after experiencing intolerance from churches in the past. They discovered that there is at least one church that does follow the true message of Jesus. They joined with others in love, trust, and safety, to give their little group a name: Transsexual OUTreach (TOUT). TOUT’s mission—to tout our worth to ourselves and to society— is based on the principle of “what ought to be, can be.” However, opening doors isn’t about gays or transsexuals. It’s about our relationship with God— a relationship that rejects fear, hate, and distrust, and embraces becoming more aware about the world around us and all the people in it. It’s about knowing how to judge by deeds. It’s about nurturing an environment for good deeds to happen. A closed door is a closed door on oneself to all of God’s beauty in the people God created in his/her image. Be not afraid to open your door. ▼ 31 May 1996 —With Ashley and Rev. Marsha Acord at her side, Anna Marie Appleby spoke to the Des Moines School Board. Anna is director of MAGGIE (Mid-America Gender Group Information Exchange). This action, done on behalf of Iowa Artistry (a local support group for transgendered people) and MAGGIE, was to fight a proposed new discrimination policy against the TG (transgender) community. The proposed policy had language that lumped TGs together with a long list of criminal behaviors. The proposal was successfully defeated. Ashley Lynn Super (left) resigned her management job at the end of 1996 and is pursuing a career in human service. She is active with TOUT and at Faith United Methodist Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where Marsha Acord (right) serves as pastor. By Ashley Lynn Super Transgender Advocacy in Iowa Faith’s Pastor Reflects Two transsexual members of Faith United Methodist Church identified the need for personal support and advocacy for transsexual persons in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. There is little awareness about gender identity issues or even the existence of transsexuals in this midwestern community of 100,000 people. Faith Church responded because of friendship, trust, and support of these two members. People of Faith UMC had learned that isolation is the most critical factor in the lives of persons who are transsexual—isolation from family, in the workplace, by their churches, and from each other. Faith UMC provides a safe and accepting place for transsexual persons who are breaking down the barriers of isolation. —Rev. Marsha Acord 5 June 1996 — Ashley and Anna gave a presentation on transgenderism to Foundation II’s Crisis Hot Line network training session. 19 June 1996 — Talk began with the city of Iowa City, at their request, about producing an information video for employers about transgender employment nondiscrimination. Progress continues. Source This report is adapted from TOUTing our worth newsletter, vol. 1, no. 1 (August 1996), p. 1, with additional information provided by Anna Marie Appleby. Winter 1997 19 Although the Moravian Church in America did not know it, 10 October 1993 was a historic day. Even the few people gathered in a modest apartment in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, could not have imagined the full import of what they were doing. This was the first meeting of gay and lesbian Moravians in the Lehigh Valley area— perhaps the first such gathering of Moravians in the United States and Canada. That day a half-dozen people gathered at 6 p.m. in response to a notice in The Moravian about the possibility of forming a group for lesbian and gay Moravians living in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.1 At 10:30 p.m. we were still sitting around talking. No one wanted to go home. It was almost as if the group was home. Creating Sanctuary Although for a time we called our selves simply “The Gay/Lesbian Moravian Group,” we wanted a less generic designation. We tried names connected with Moravian history, acronyms which were either hilarious or ungainly, names which needed too much explanation. When someone finally said, “How about Sanctuary?” everybody said, “Yesss!” A sanctuary can be a holy place within a church or temple or a place of refuge and protection. For our group, both meanings apply. Although we began with no agenda except to get together, it soon became apparent that we needed more focus. We spent an evening putting together several liturgies for our use (in some instances using material from Open Hands). In addition, individual members have brought liturgies they have written. We have had Bible studies, have read and discussed books and articles, as well as viewing and discussing a number of videos. We have not neglected our social life, particularly in summer when we have cook-outs and potlucks. Our October meeting usually brings out a few people in costume. For a long time one of our members looked outside the Moravian Church for gay and lesbian fellowship. He now finds it enormously affirming to have a network of people from the same spiritual tradition. By participating in Sanctuary he expresses his hope as a gay man for an honorable place in the church. He also sees Sanctuary as holding the church accountable to Jesus’ statement when he drove the money changers from the Temple: “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples” (Matthew 21:13). He points out that the money changers’ booths were set up in the Court of the Gentiles, established for foreigners who were precluded from full Temple worship. Jesus was proclaiming symbolically that all are welcome to God’s realm. A lesbian couple sees Sanctuary as a primary focus of their lives. “It’s a way of having fellowship with other lesbians and gay men without going to the bars.” Planting More Seeds In June 1996, Sanctuary took a significant step forward—as did the whole Moravian Church—when, for the first time ever, the church’s Eastern District Conference included a literature table, proposed by and staffed by Sanctuary members. Leaders of the District were favorably impressed. So were leaders of the Northern Province, who expressed interest in having a similar literature table at the triennial Northern Province Synod in 1997. A Sanctuary member who tended the table has said, “Just being there and being a ‘face’ for those people was a life moment for me.” He defined “life moment” as an experience marking a significant turning point in life. “It was a coming-out of sorts,” he went on, “important for the church as well as…for me.” Recently, we have begun putting together educational information about homosexuality for congregational use, either as personal reading or as the basis for group discussions. We will make this information available to pastors and congregations.2 We now have a supplementary mailing list of Moravians and others who live in places which make it impossible for them to attend our meetings. Each month they receive the notice of our meeting so they know what is happening. Now and again a newsletter goes out as well. This long-distance effort is also of value. One of our far-away members recently wrote: “You have…my prayers and best wishes in what I know from experience to be a difficult undertaking that has nevertheless been blessed, over the long haul, with too many signs of God’s favor to give up in the short run.” ▼ Notes 1The Moravian is the official journal of the Moravian Church in America, Northern and Southern Provinces. 2Material is not yet available. Sanctuary’s web site address is: esanctuary@aol.com. Mary V. Borhek, a member of Central Moravian Church in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, is the mother of a gay son and author of My Son Eric and Coming Out to Parents (Pilgrim Press). By Mary V. Borhek 20 Open Hands Sowing Seeds of Hope An Ecumenical Pride Service Held at Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC Atlanta, Georgia, 30 June 1996 Preparing the Soil Gathering Music Welcome Call to Worship How wonderful, O Lord, are the works of your hands! The heavens declare your glory, the arch of sky displays your handiwork. The heavens declare the glory of God. In your love you have given us the power to behold the beauty of your world, robed in all its splendor. The sun and the stars, the valleys and hills, the rivers and lakes—all disclose your presence. The earth reveals God’s eternal presence. The roaring breakers of the sea tell of your awesome might; the beasts of the field and the birds of the air bespeak your wondrous will. Life comes forth by God’s creative will. In your goodness you have made us able to hear the music of the world. The raging of the winds, the whisperings of trees in the wood, and the precious voices of loved ones reveal to us that you are in our midst. A divine voice sings through all creation. AMEN. Hymn “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee” Henry Van Dyke Reading Turning It Over Prayers of Confession Confessional Response “Dona Nobis” Anthem Prayers of the People Blessed are you, Merciful God of all Creation, and blessed are we who are called by your Name. Hear the prayers of your people as we ask you, God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for those in authority over us, our leaders and lawmakers. Give us eyes to see that we are all children in the same garden world. Teach us to govern ourselves with respect for the dignity of every person. Empower us to take responsibility for our own lives and the lives of others. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We ask that we be given grace to forgive not only those who despise us but those whom we despise. Make us mindful that love has the power to overcome hate. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We thank you for our community, these people who are our family and friends. We affirm the solidarity found in community and the reassurance that we do not stand alone. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for our brothers and sisters living with disease. May your healing light be with them. Use our touch, our kind words and deeds to be a healing balm to them. Sustaining the Spirit Acknowledging creation Learning the history of this garden plot Calling on the power of creation Singing a song while you work Consulting past gardeners Contributing to the compost heap Sharing our compost Seeking assistance Sources Call to Worship: Paraphrased from several psalms by Lesley Brogan. Readings: Used a gospel lesson and a reading from May Sarton. Prayers of the People: Written by Gerry Hoyt. Used with permission. Affirmation: Used full poem from The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago. Doubleday, 1979, p. 256. Planting Ritual Introduction: Written by Linda Ellis. Used with permission. Planting Song: “Playin’ in the Dirt” jingle was written for a local TV commercial. Used with permission of Pike Family Nursery, Atlanta, GA. An Ecumenical Pride Service Held at Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC Atlanta, Georgia, 30 June 1996 Winter 1997 21 (Congregation may add silently or aloud names of those for whom we pray.) God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We remember those who have gone before us and we continue to reap what they have entrusted us to sow. We miss them and grieve for the loss of their light in our lives. We entrust them to your care, knowing that you are doing better things for them than we could hope or pray. (Congregation may add silently or aloud the names of those for whom we pray.) God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We pray for the children, our next generation. May we prepare the soil for them as others have done for us—may we offer them the guidance to grow in your light and the nourishment to thrive in your care. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. We celebrate this day our uniqueness, our worth as daughters and sons of yours. We are your clowns, your dreamers, your sages and mystics. We are your healers and workers in your garden. Help us to be so aware of your presence in our lives that we freely open our hearts to receive the seeds of your love. May these seeds come to fruition and bring forth a beautiful new Eden. God, turn our hearts as a gardener turns the soil. Amen. Envisioning the Harvest Affirmation of Faith “And then all that has divided us will merge…” Judy Chicago Reading Sermon Hymn “Hymn of Promise” Natalie Sleeth Planting the Seed Offering Ritual of Hope This is a day to celebrate and to recognize the days that have come before— some good, some not. We in the gay and lesbian community have a rich and strong heritage to claim. There are generations of people who have sown the seeds whose fruit we are harvesting today. We reap what they have sown by their actions, by the walks they’ve walked—by who they were and how they lived. It is a little easier today for some of us to walk proudly, to claim our place in this community and in the family of God. We celebrate that. And we know that for some it is not easier—not yet. So today we continue the process. Today we take the seeds, turn the dirt, plant the seeds, water them, and remain to tend them—by our actions, by the way we walk, and by how we live. For those who come after us... Playin’ in the Dirt A spade and bucket and a little tin hoe It was fun back then but you never know You might meet a memory of a childhood friend If you come and play in the dirt again. Benediction Moving to fruition Designing the landscape Preparing the seed Reaping what you sow Giving back to the earth Sowing the seed Giving it time to bloom Liturgy Format: Thanks to Rev. Patricia York, Rev. Kelly Turney, Lesley Brogan, all those of the ecumenical pride service committee, and Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC, Atlanta, Georgia, who planned this service. This liturgy may be reprinted for local worship use. For other uses, contact the church. 22 Open Hands Selected Resources Basic Resources These ten resources are recommended to inquiring churches and individuals as “places to begin your reading.” Alexander, Marilyn and James Preston. We Were Baptized Too. Louisville: Westminister John Knox, 1996. Bess, Howard H. Pastor, I am Gay. Palmer, Alaska: Palmer, 1995. Boykin, Keith. One More River to Cross: Black and Gay in America. Anchor Books, 1996. Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, their Families and Friends. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1991. Helminiak, Daniel A. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality. San Francisco: Alamo Square, 1994. Law, Eric H. F. The Wolf Shall Dwell with the Lamb: A Spirituality for Leadership in a Multicultural Community. St. Louis: Chalice, 1993. A Chinese-American perspective. Morrison, Melanie. The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Scanzoni, Letha and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response. Rev. and upd. San Francisco: Harper, 1994. Tigert, Leanne McCall. Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in the Church. Cleveland: United Church, 1996. White, Mel. Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. New York: Plume Penguin, 1994. Videos These videos are recommended for your study process. All God’s Children. A 26-min. award-winning color documentary of interviews with African-American leaders who support gay and lesbians rights. Woman Vision: 415/273-1145. Eve’s Daughters. Lesbians sharing their journey from heterosexism and subjugation. Leonardo’s Children: 914/986-6858. Home: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal. A 105-min. original musical drama portraying the power of love to reconcile Christian discord about homosexuality. RCP: 773/736-5526. Maybe We’re Talking About a Different God: The Church and Homosexuality. 29-min. Celebrates gay/lesbian lives and calls the church to be inclusive. Leonardo’s Children: 914/986-6858. The Rhetoric of Intolerance: An Open-Letter Video to Pat Robertson from Dr. Mel White. 29-min. UFMCC: 310/360-8640. Straight from the Heart. 24-min. Parents’ journeys to a new understanding of their lesbian/gay children. Woman Vision: 415/ 273-1145. Welcoming Program Resources These are the major resources produced by the welcoming programs. Each program also has a newsletter. Ecumenical Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality. Mary Jo Osterman. Chicago: Reconciling Congregations Program, 1997. Study book and leader’s guide. Available from the welcoming programs and l/b/g/t support groups. See ad, p. 32. More Light (Presbyterian) More Light Churches Resource Packet. Designed for churches interested in becoming More Light. Reconciling the Broken Silence: The Church in Dialogue on Gay and Lesbian Issues. A six-session study guide. Oasis, The (Episcopal) All Love Is of God: A Six-Session Study of Homosexuality and Homophobia for Congregations of the Episcopal Church. A Book of Revelations: Lesbian and Gay Episcopalians Tell their Own Stories. Ed. by Louie Crew. Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) Open and Affirming: A Journey of Faith. 60-min. video for churches exploring becoming ONA. Open and Affirming: What Does It Mean to Us? A booklet of responses by seventeen l/b/g members of the UCC. OK! We’re ONA. Now What? Ideas on how a UCC church can express its ONA commitment. Open & Affirming (Disciples) Introductory O&A Packet. Guidelines, O&A list, sample statements. O&A Resources on Diskette. Includes packet and kit, plus official Disciples statements and sermons. O&A Workshop Kit. Helps for the O&A process, handouts. Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Inclusive Faith. 18-min. video. Promotes the Reconciled in Christ program through interviews, music, discussion. Reconciling (United Methodist) A Biblical Basis for Reconciling Ministries. Resource paper How to Become a Reconciling Congregation. Resource paper. Reconciling Campus Ministries. Resource paper. Still on the Journey: A Handbook for Reconciling Congregations in Ministry with Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Gay Men. For churches/ groups who have become reconciling. Why Become a Reconciling Congregation. Resource paper. Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) Affirming Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in our Congregations. A resource binder. Body of Dissent: Lesbian and Gay Mennonites and Brethren Continue the Journey. 40-min. video with discussion guide. Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) The Welcoming Congregation: Resources for Affirming Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Persons. Ed. by Scott W. Alexander. Manual for churches interested in becoming more welcoming. Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) Does It Matter? Timothy Phillips. Study/discussion guide on homosexuality and faith for American Baptists. For the Record: Choosing to be Known as a Welcoming & Affirming Congregation. Membership packet. Winter 1997 23 First Ever National Gathering of W&A Baptists LIVING TOGETHER American Baptists from Alaska to North Carolina, from Massachusetts to California, gathered in Evanston, Illinois on 16-18 August 1996 for the first ever national gathering of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. Warmly hosted by the Lake Street Church of Evanston, more than fifty delegates from twenty-two member and inquiring congregations gathered to consider how people of good will and faith may stay together despite differences over issues of sexuality. In study, worship, and mutual sharing, participants sought to learn how to embody Christ’s love even in the midst of deep disagreement. “WELCOME is not just a salutation—it is a commitment to a way of life.” —from the program of the gathering NEW FRIENDS: New friends enjoy a special moment. KEYNOTER CAMPOLOS: Tony and Peggy Campolo (at left) talk informally with delegates. HAPPY TIMES: W&A Association Coordinator Brenda Moulton (second from left) enjoys an informal moment at the book table. BIBLE STUDY: H. Darrell Lance, professor emeritus of Old Testament Interpretation, Colgate Rochester Divinity School, leads a workshop on the Bible and homosexuality. NOW WHAT?: Craig Darling, a member of the W&A Association Council, leads a discussion on the wider implications of being welcoming and affirming. INQUIRING MINDS: Tim and Frances Phillips (top right) share insights about how to open a congregation to possible W&A membership. RESOURCES AVAILABLE: David Gregg (center), minister of education and congregational life at Lake Street Church talks with a potential customer at the book table. INSPIRING WORSHIP: Delegates gather in a prayer circle in the sanctuary of Lake Street Church. SING PRAISE: All join in lively worship. Note Peggy and Tony Campolo’s keynote address is available on video ($12) and audio ($5) tapes from The Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (payable to W&A), PO Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: A Panel, moderated by Rev. Esther Hargis, addressed the experience of the American Baptist churches who were disfellowshipped in 1996. A Workshop led by Dan Gasper, on “What Is a Straight Guy Like Me Doing in a Place Like This?” Photos: John Corbett Content Descriptions were compiled by H. Darrell Lance, newsletter editor for the Association of Welcoming and Affriming Baptists. 24 Open Hands More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Emanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church New Brunswick, New Jersey Emanual is located in downtown New Brunswick, surrounded by theaters, government buildings, and Rutgers University and adjacent to neighborhoods populated by poor people—a location of contradictions such as characterize society in the United States. The congregation, which is nearly 120 years old, has been deeply committed to addressing the problems faced by people in the area. It has founded a soup kitchen and thirty units of transitional housing for homeless families. Emanuel is also a site for numerous substance abuse programs and for support groups for people living with HIV/AIDS. The congregation has also had a long-standing commitment to ministry that is inclusive and has worked very hard to address gender and sexuality issues and to overcome the legacy of patriarchy in the church. The decision to become a Reconciled in Christ congregation was a logical outgrowth of this work. Emanuel is reaching out to gay and lesbian persons through the Pride Center of New Brunswick and an ecumenical Christian organization called Promises, which brings together gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight people across the state. St. John’s Church Allentown, Pennsylvania St. John’s Church is an 1100-member, metropolitan Lutheran congregation. The process of becoming an RIC congregation took eleven months. Initially, the proposal came to the church in society task force, which recommended it to the vestry. While the vestry was in favor, it was decided that the entire congregation should be a part of such a decision through open discussion and educational opportunities. Adult Sunday school classes studied Jesus’ response to the Holiness Code and his welcoming of all persons into God’s community. Discussion groups, newsletter articles, and letters from the pastor addressed people’s questions and concerns. When it was time to vote at a congregational meeting, there were four negative votes. Members take pride in the decision and in how it was reached. Dealing with RIC helped St. John’s see what it means to take the gospel seriously. St. John’s is proud to be the first RIC congregation in its synod. When the church first considered RIC, six openly gay or lesbian members were attending. That number hasn’t changed since the RIC decision in January 1996, but the church hopes that by advertising in local newsletters and so on, it will be recognized as an open community. St. Mark’s Lutheran Church Fargo, North Dakota Located in downtown Fargo, St. Mark’s Lutheran, a congregation of 500 members, has always been a bit more progressive and inclusive than its environment. It was the first English- language Lutheran church in Dakota Territory. Leaders played a key role in founding Northwestern Seminary (now part of Luther Seminary), Concordia College, and a leading regional hospital. Its motto, “An inclusive fellowship of God’s people centered in Word and Sacrament, dedicated to serving its urban neighborhood” describes commitments to inclusivity, worship, and service. St. Mark’s has ministered to and with gay and lesbian people for more than twenty-five years and although it has created some dissension, even division, it has welcomed gay and lesbian people in its organizations, in the governing board, and as representatives to larger church functions. The church hopes to sponsor a chapter of Lutherans Concerned in the area. Christ Congregational UCC Pueblo, Colorado This congregation draws its membership of 120 from Pueblo and several neighboring towns. Expressions of its desire to be inclusive and accessible include its ONA commitment, use of inclusive language, and remodeling plans for a lift to the fellowship hall. Recently, pastor Karen Sorensen Schmit celebrated a wedding for two of the church’s male members. The ceremony broke ground with the local newspaper which created a new column and printed the gay couple’s announcement and picture in the wedding section. The church has hosted two of the last three community World AIDS Day services and has shared worship space with a Metropolitan Community Church for over six years. The Congregational Church in Exeter UCC Exeter, New Hampshire Gathered in 1638, this 500-member “pillar church” is located in the center of an historic New England town. In the wake of the congregation’s vote to become ONA, there is more willingness to examine serious issues and to hear others’ feelings, with the church council as the primary place of these Welcoming Communities RECONCILED IN CHRIST OPEN AND AFFIRMING Winter 1997 25 discussions. The unfolding of ONA in the life of the church has only begun. The Christian growth and the mission and action committees have co-sponsored special events and are incorporating the vision of ONA into their work. Central United Methodist Church South Bend, Indiana Central UMC has a phoenix story—new life arising from ashes. Mary Hubbard arrived as pastor five years ago to close this church which had dwindled to 13 elderly members. However, new folks, particularly gay men, began coming to the church. Even though the church building was sold, the congregation continued. Now 55-60 persons gather for worship each Sunday. In November 1996, Central celebrated its first Sunday in a new building the congregation has purchased. Central received much positive publicity for its decision to become an RC and is now attracting a wide diversity of persons. Mathewson Street United Methodist Church Providence, Rhode Island Mathewson Street UMC is a center-city church located in the theater district, a few blocks from the state capitol. Indicative of its commitment to the arts, the church has a small theater in its building and two artists-in-residence. This congregation of 300 members has an extensive outreach program—serving almost 20,000 persons each year through a food pantry, soup kitchen, and housing and employment information. The congregation hosts the Rhode Island Organizing Project, a faithbased coalition which addresses social issues in neighborhoods. The needs of the community surrounding the congregation precipitated the discussion to become an RC in 1991, culminating in a decision in April 1996. Pacific Beach UMC San Diego, California Pacific Beach UMC celebrates its fiftieth anniversary in 1997. Nine charter members remain in the congregation. The congregation’s membership peaked in the early 1960s and then began a long decline. A faithful core has rebuilt the congregation in the 1990s to 165 members and has remodeled the sanctuary. Worship and music are central to the life of Pacific Beach. A Harvest for Hunger program provides weekly meals for neighbors in need. A youth mentorship program provides support for troubled kids and first-time offenders. The decision to become an RC in October 1995 was the completion of a long period of study and dialogue. Park Street Baptist Church Framingham, Massachusetts The newest member of the Welcoming & Affirming Congregations (ABC/USA), Park Street Baptist Church celebrated its decision at a jubilant worship service in May 1996. The 180- member congregation, located in a city between Boston and Worcester, values the diversity of its members. It is active in service to the community, has openly gay members in leadership positions, and has opened its facilities to a developing ethnic congregation. After hearing about the disfellowshipping of W&A churches in other regions, the church voted unanimously to become W&A—both to proclaim their solidarity with the marginalized churches and to declare publicly their own welcome to the gay community. “We are a very diverse congregation,” says Jean Ledoux, a seminarian and active member of Park Street Church. “It’s about being inclusive and being in the community and binding up people who are wounded and hurt, and being a place where people can come and be safe and loved.” New Covenant Community Normal, Illinois The New Covenant Community, now in its fourth year, is oriented toward the campus of Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois. Affiliated with the Disciples of Christ, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), and the United Church of Christ, the congregation is a welcoming community for people who have fallen away from active church participation. The Rev. Richard Watts, pastor of the community, and a longtime peace advocate, celebrates the intellectual vitality and the diversity of religious traditions of its members. WELCOMING & AFFIRMING RECONCILING WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. MORE LIGHT 26 Open Hands Movement News Alaska W&A Church “Admonished” The American Baptist Churches of Alaska (ABCA) has given notice to the Church of the Covenant (W&A) of Palmer, Alaska, to conform to national denominational standards about homosexuality or to face disfellowshipping from the Alaska Association. A three-person committee met in September with representatives of the church to “bring the Church of the Covenant into accountability.” It was obvious to all in attendance that the differences were not reconcilable. The “admonishing” action was taken 8 October 1996 at the annual meeting of ABCA. In a motion termed “an effort toward reconciliation,” the Association “admonished Church of the Covenant to accept the stand of the General Board of the ABC/USA and the ABCA that the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Howard Bess, pastor of Church of the Covenant, stated that no resolution or disfellowshipping action would deter them from their commitment to justice for gay people. “In All Things Charity” Launched Fifteen United Methodist clergy have issued a call for other clergy to join them in signing an “In All Things Charity Statement of Conscience” concerning the United Methodist position on homosexuality. Among the six points in the document are commitments to support “appropriate liturgical covenantal commitments between same-gendered couples” and to “work and pray for the ordination of gay men and lesbians who are otherwise called to and qualified for ordained ministry.” For more information, write to “In All Things Charity,” c/o Broadway UMC, 3344 N. Broadway, Chicago IL 60657. “That All May Freely Serve” Expands The Downtown United Presbyterian Church in Rochester, New York, and Westminster Presbyterian Church in Tiburon, California, announce that the gay/lesbian evangelistic ministry they have hosted (through supporting Rev. Jane Adams Spahr) will expand in 1997. With Spahr, TAMFS will organize at least two regional evangelist partnerships. In each area, a cluster of More Light churches will employ a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person to be a regional evangelist. For more information, contact DUPC at 716/325-4000. RCP Crosses the Threshold Following a successful Open the Doors campaign at the 1996 General Conference in Denver, Reconciling United Methodists planned and attended Threshold meetings in twenty-eight annual conferences in late 1996 and early 1997. These grassroots networking meetings celebrated the success of the campaign and generated creative strategies for continuing to build the RC movement across The United Methodist Church. Reports from the meetings revealed growing commitment, innovative planning, and profound vision. Numerous meetings included first-time participants in a Reconciling Congregation Program activity. Several groups committed themselves to more intentional organizing and publicity at the local and conference level. Others began steps toward the development of speakers bureaus, education events, and support groups. Many gatherings developed steps for signing up additional Reconciling UMs. For more information about organizing in your area, call the RCP office at 773/736-5526. Appeal of California W&A Churches Rejected On 21 September 1996, the appeals committee of the American Baptist Churches of the West responded to the disfellowshipping of four Welcoming & Affirming churches. The report stated that the region’s process in dismissing the four churches was not a fair process and that most of the responsibility for that unfairness lies with the region staff. Nevertheless, the region’s board of managers voted to stay with their original decision to dismiss the four churches. The four churches, which are in process of appealing their dismissal to the national body, continue to abide by the Common Criteria that all ABC churches must abide by and will continue to be faithful to their call as followers of Jesus Christ. ONA Program, UCCL/GC, Makes Plans The United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns’ ONA Advisory Committee gathered in Chicago last September to evaluate and plan. With 200 plus UCC churches listed as ONA, there was great excitement about the progress made toward being a denomination characterized by “openness to and affirmation of” people of all sexual orientations, and realization that, in some ways, this witness is just beginning to gather its strength! Plans to further the ONA spirit in the UCC include: completing the new, 2nd edition “ONA Study Packet” (being produced jointly with the ONA Task Force of the MA Conference, UCC); broadening multicultural perspectives in ONA resources and programs; producing a resource on openly lesbigay clergy serving churches and other settings in the UCC; and participating in planning for the Welcoming Churches event in 2000. Challenging, Spirit-filled times are ahead! Call for Articles for Fall 1997 Baptism and Communion: The Rites of the Right to Be Here Seeking articles which explore theological understandings of baptism, communion, and inclusivity. Also seeking personal stories from lesbigay and transgender people on the meaning and impact of baptism and communion in your lives; and stories of lesbigay parents and the baptism of your children. Positive stories as well as stories of discrimination related to baptism and communion are welcome. Write with idea: April 15 Manuscript deadline: August 1 If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Winter 1997 27 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, 735 local churches, 36 campus ministries, 29 judicatories, and 4 national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including gay men and lesbian women. This represents an increase of 25 percent over last year! These 804 welcoming communities are found in ten denominations in 46 states, plus the District of Columbia and Canada. Welcoming Episcopal and United Church of Canada groups are added for the first time this year. The complete list (as of 1 February 1997) follows. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes. CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Apache Junction Desert Chapel UMC (RC) Phoenix Asbury UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Faith Lutheran (RIC) Tucson First Christian (O&A) Rincon Congregational UCC (ONA) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito Christ Lutheran (RIC) Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Northminster Presbyterian (ML) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno First Congregational (ONA) Wesley UMC (RC) Gardena First UMC (RC) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) United Church (ONA) Hollywood Hollywood UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) La Verne Church of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Angeles Bethel Lutheran (RIC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Napa Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Faith American Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) Unitarian Universalist Society (WEL) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Church Lutheran (RIC) City of Refuge (ONA) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John the Evangelist Episcopal (OAS) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (ONA, W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fellowship of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) St. Mark’s UMC (RC) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) TOTAL AU Affirm United (United Church of Canada) 7 ML More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian) 75 OAS Oasis (Episcopal) 39 ONA Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) 217 O&A Open & Affirming (Disciples) 34 RIC Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) 147 RC Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist) 142 SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) 13 W&A Welcoming & Affirming (American Baptist) 26 WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) 107 28 Open Hands Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Boulder Mennonite (SCN) Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fireside Christian (O&A) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) First Universalist (WEL) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas Lutheran Chapel (RIC) Pueblo Christ Congregational, UCC (ONA) Telluride Christ Presbyterian (ML) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Ellington First Lutheran (RIC) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Hamden U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Lutheran Church of the Reformation (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater UU Church of Clearwater (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Miami Beach Miami Beach Community (ONA) North Palm Beach First Unitarian (WEL) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan Presbyterian (ML, ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Athens Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (WEL) Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) HAWAII Honolulu Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Epworth UMC (RC) Gladstone Park Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Luke’s Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Normal New Covenant Community (ML, ONA, O&A) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) First United Church (ML, ONA) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Oak Park Mennonite (SCN) Park Forest UU Community (WEL) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Streamwood Immanuel UCC (ONA) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community UMC (RC) INDIANA Bloomington St. Thomas Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Indianapolis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) South Bend Central UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Peoples Church UU (WEL) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City FaithWorks Community (ML, ONA, O&A, RC) Rainbow Mennonite (SCN) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Third Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Mt. Desert Somesville Union Meeting House (ONA) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) Waterville Universalist Unitarian (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Brown Memorial Park Ave. Pres. (ML) Dundalk Church of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Winter 1997 29 Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Congregational UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ML, ONA) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Park Street Baptist (W&A) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham First Parish Old Ship (WEL) Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Needham First Parish UU (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational UCC (ONA) First Parish Society (WEL) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton First Church of Christ (ONA) Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury Church of the United Community (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Somerville Clarenden Hill Presbyterian (ML) Stowe First Parish Ch. of Stowe & Acton (WEL) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Memorial Congregational UCC (ONA) Wayland First Parish of Wayland (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester First Baptist (W&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Ferndale Zion Lutheran (RIC) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southfield Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Williamston Williamston UMC (RC) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Becker Becker UMC (RC) Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Hobart UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Lynnhurst Congregational (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Minnehaha UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Parkway UCC (ONA) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud St. Cloud UU Fellwoship (WEL) Univ. Lutheran of the Epiphany (RIC) St. Paul Dayton Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Macalester-Plymouth United (ML, ONA) St. Paul Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) Tyler Place Presbyterian (ML) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Lincoln Unitarian Church (WEL) Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Concord South Congregational, UCC (ONA) Exeter Congregational (ONA) Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist Congregation (WEL) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) NEW JERSEY Bloomfield Christ Episcopal (OAS) Boonton St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Chatham St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Chester Church of the Messiah Episcopal (OAS) Clifton St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Denville Church of Our Saviour Episcopal (OAS) Englewood St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Exeter Congregational Church (ONA) Fort Lee Church of the Good Shepherd (OAS) Hackensack Christ Episcopal (OAS) Harrington Park St. Andrew’s Episcopal (OAS) Hasbrouck Heights Church of St. John the Divine (OAS) Hawthorne St. Clement’s Episcopal (OAS) Hoboken All Saints Parish (OAS) Jersey City Grace Van Vorst Episcopal (OAS) St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Leonia All Saints Episcopal (OAS) Madison Grace Episcopal (OAS) Maplewood St. George’s Episcopal (OAS) Mendham St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Millburn St. Stephen’s Episcopal (OAS) Montclair St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) St. Luke’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian (WEL) Montvale St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Morristown Church of the Redeemer (OAS) St. Peter’s Episcopal (OAS) Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) New Brunswick Emanuel Lutheran (RIC) Newark Grace Episcopal (OAS) Norwood Church of the Holy Communion (OAS) Parsippany St. Gregory’s Episcopal (OAS) Passaic St. John’s Episcopal (OAS) Paterson St. Paul’s Episcopal (OAS) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) Ridgewood Christ Episcopal (OAS) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Sparta St. Mary’s Episcopal (OAS) 30 Open Hands Summit Calvary Episcopal (OAS) Teaneck St. Mark’s Episcopal (OAS) Tenafly Church of the Atonement (OAS) Towaco Church of the Transfiguration (OAS) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) Upper Montclair St. James’ Episcopal (OAS) Verona Holy Spirit Episcopal (OAS) NEW MEXICO Albuquerque First Unitarian (WEL) Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) First Presbyterian (ML) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Blooming Grove Blooming Grove UCC (ONA) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unitarian Cong. Society (WEL) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Copake Craryville UMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Fairport Mountain Rise UCC (ONA) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Kingston Trinity UMC (RC) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York City Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Paul & St. Andrew UMC (RC) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Plattsburgh Plattsburgh UMC (RC) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown United Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First UMC (RC) First Unitarian (WEL) Slingerlands Community UMC (RC) Snyder Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Syracuse Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Utica Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) NORTH DAKOTA Fargo St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Euclid Ave. Congregational UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) West Shore UU (WEL) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) North Congregational UCC (ONA) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Miami Valley Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Lakewood Cove UMC (RC) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Oklahoma City Epworth UMC (RC) Tulsa Fellowship Congregational, UCC (ONA) UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ, Cong. (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Congregational Church (ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) Eugene First Congregational, UCC (ONA) Unitarian of Eugene & Lane Co. (WEL) Forest Grove Forest Grove UCC (ONA) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Brethren (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Allentown Muhlenberg College Chapel (RIC) St. John Lutheran (RIC) Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Pittsburgh First Unitarian (WEL) St. Andrew Lutheran (RIC) Upper Darby Christ Lutheran (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) Providence Mathewson Street UMC (RC) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Chattanooga Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU Church (WEL) St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Trinity UMC (RC) College Station Friends Congregational (ONA) Winter 1997 31 Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Grace Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) UTAH Salt Lake City Mount Tabor Lutheran (RIC) South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Unitarian Church (WEL) Charlottesville Sojourners UCC (ONA) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) Roanoke Unitarian Universalist (WEL) WASHINGTON Bellevue Eastgate Congregational UCC (ONA) First Congregational, UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Carnation Tolt Congregational, UCC (ONA) Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) East Vancouver East Vancouver UMC (RC) Edmonds Edmonds UU (WEL) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Fauntleroy UCC (ONA) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Magnolia UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Congregational (ONA) Vancouver First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Eau Claire Ecum. Relig. Ctr./Univ. Lutheran (RIC) Madison Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) James Reeb UU Congregation (WEL) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Cross Lutheran (RIC) Pentecost Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA ALBERTA Calgary South Calgary Inter-Mennonite (SCN) Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver First United Church (AU) Unitarian Church (WEL) MANITOBA Winnipeg Augustine United (AU) First Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Young United (AU) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Toronto Bathurst United (AU) Bloor Street United (AU) Glen Rhodes United (AU) Trinity-St. Paul’s United (AU) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry LSC=Lutheran Student Center LSM=Lutheran Student Movement UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) UCM, UC, Riverside (RC) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Berkeley (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA, Los Angeles (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS Ill. Disciples Fdn., UI, Champaign (O&A) UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) Stud. Cong., Luther Coll., Decorah (RIC) KANSAS LCM, KSU, Manhattan (RIC) United Methodist CM, UK, Lawrence (RC) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) LCM, SCS, St. Cloud (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) Wesley Fdn., Oh. Wesleyan, Delaware (RC) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA LSC-LCM, Kutztown U, Kutztown (RIC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) VIRGINIA Campus Christian Community, MWC, Fredericksburg (RC, RIC) WASHINGTON LCM, WU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) UM Fellowship, UPS, Puget Sound (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, UW, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN LSC, LSM, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire New York Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Oregon-Idaho Troy Wisconsin Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Synods, ELCA (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania NATIONAL MINISTRIES which have passed welcoming resolutions Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) Gen’l Commission on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) Reconciling Congregation Program • 3801 N. Keeler Avenue • Chicago, IL 60641 • 773/736-5526; fax—773/736-5475 PRECONVOCATION FORUMS FOR: • clergy • parents of l/g/bi persons • persons of color • youth, students, & seminarians July 24-27, 1997 Emory University Atlanta Bible Study leaders: Dr. David Otto Rev. Janet Wolf Music Leaders: Jim & Jean Strathdee Worship preachers: Rev. Minerva Carcaño Bill Crews Rev. Sally Dyck Rev. Luther Felder Dramatic Performances: Caught in the Middle All in our Family Youth & Children’s Programs Workshops Area Strategy Sessions Celebration of Denver 15 Covenant Groups The fifth national convocation of Reconciling Congregations a spirit-filled gathering of the whole family of God QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE ___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985) ___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) ___ Our Families (Spring 1986) ___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986) ___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986) ___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) ___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) ___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) ___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) ___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) ___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989) ___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989) ___ Images of Family (Fall 1989) ___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990) ___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990) ___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991) ___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991) ___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991) ___ Bisexuality: Perceptions & Realities (Fall 1991) ___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992) ___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression Shape It (Summer 1992) ___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992) ___ Celebrating the Inclusive God: Worship (Winter 1994) ___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) ___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) ___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) ___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995) ___ Church Conflict: Living with It! Learning from It! (Spring 1996) ___ Airing Out Closets (Summer 1996) ___ Transgender Realities (Fall 1996) ❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). ❑ Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 3 - Sowing Seeds of Inclusion https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7122fbd0bd8268942a17a508ccd9b03b.pdf a3e713bb0982867be4eb6827439dc300 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 2 Fall 1996 Transgender Realities 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 2 Fall 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773 / 736-5526 Fax: 773 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Transgender Realities CHANGING REALITIES Transgenderism: Challenging the Binary 4 NANCY NANGERONI The newly emerging transgender community works on TG rights. Out of the Pit, Into the Woodwork—Not! 8 JIM KOCHER-HILLMER An editor interviews Rica, a male-to-female transsexual who is a lifelong Lutheran. In Transition: Vignettes 9 GLORIA R. TERRILL Three stories tell of a life in transition. Upside Down, Inside Out Feelings 10 HOPE SMITH A gay woman in the military, headed for seminary, reflects on the journey of her female military teammate Jessy who became Caleb. Standing Tall: A Crossdresser’s Story 12 TIFFANY S. After eighteen years of marriage and a very successful evangelical ministry, a crossdresser loses wife and church, but not his faith in God. Wéwha of Zuni 13 ROBERT LENTZ AND BRIDGE BUILDING IMAGES Before the arrival of Anglo Christian missionaries, the Zuni Pueblo in western New Mexico honored three genders. SHIFTING THEORIES Myths, Stereotypes, and Gender Roles 14 JEANNE KNEPPER AND ANDREA ABERNETHY A dialogue explores intersections of gender roles and male privilege. Medical/Therapeutic Processes—and their Critics 15 CAROLINE PRESNELL Transgenderedness and transsexuality are described from a medical/therapeutic viewpoint—and critiqued. Fall 1996 3 For your Consideration: Sexual Integrity 17 MARY E. HUNT When categories of gender and orientation become inadequate, consider sexual integrity as a theo-ethical alternative. WELCOMING MINISTRIES A Place at the Table 18 STEPHANIE RODRIGUEZ President of Dallas Affirmation shares her “epiphany” about transsexual persons and her own prejudice. Four Snapshots—Many Lessons 19 KAREN P. OLIVETO A reconciling congregation and its pastor learn valuable lessons from Molly. Acts 8 in Today’s Church 22 DEIRDRE N. MCCLOSKEY AND MARTHA L. OLNEY A welcoming and affirming Baptist Church extends its welcome when a transsexual person asks: “May I come to your church?” Ministry Is about Sacred Story 24 TONY RYAN An ordained minister and seminary student shares his story and dilemma. Double Blessing—and a Call 26 VANESSA S. A heterosexual, happily married, biological male shares his story as a male-to-female crossdresser. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “I Am!” 28 KAREN P. OLIVETO A litany of re-naming for transgender persons. ASIDES Keeping Up with Language .... 7 Women Passing as Men ........ 11 Deuteronomy 22:5 ................ 21 Discussion Questions on Transgender Realities ........ 23 TG/TS Organizations and Publications ....................... 25 Bornstein Reflects ................. 27 Next Issue: Sowing Seeds of Inclusion SELECTED RESOURCES 29 MOVEMENT NEWS 30 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 773/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dick Hasbany, MLCN Dan Hooper, RIC Sue Laurie, RCP Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC 4 Open Hands gender shame is imposed by a culture striving for something unnatural and repressive. The strict binary of sex and gender is a myth that is enforced by popular notions, creating pervasive but usually repressed discontent with gender roles. The pervasiveness of the discontent shows in the popularity of gender transgression in the media, where Howard Stern’s book parading his crossdressing is a best-seller, and where movies like To Wong Foo and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert were box-office hits. TV networks parade forth their most gender transgressive content during ratings week, when their advertising income has the most to gain. In Boston, for example, a normally staid “Chronicle” ran a segment on transgenderism with flashy promotion for ratings week in February, and then again during November’s ratings week. The dawning recognition that “gender dysphoria” (the medical term applied to some transgender persons) might be the healthy response of a sensitive individual to a repressive society has had a profound effect on the TG community. Individuals, instead of blaming themselves for perversion, can instead regard the failure of a society that stigmatizes their naturalness. This shift has been crucial in bolstering the self-esteem of the transgender The transgender (TG) community has come of age, stepping forward as the agent of change that upsets the binary gender system. At the root of this, as in all change, is the emergence of new ideas which have been reshaping the way a lot of people, transgender and otherwise, regard themselves and others. Perhaps the most influential new ideas were those of Judith Butler, a leading feminist scholar and gender theorist.1 The message from Butler that knocked transgenders (TGs) to our feet was that gender is a performance. Butler tells us that masculinity and femininity are not essential elements in all of us but rather labels and interpretations that we assign to parts of ourselves and our world. Division along lines of sex and gender is a political act, enforced by rules of conduct that are neither negotiated nor defensible. While embracing these ideals, the TG community has continued to educate itself in the gender ways of other cultures, especially native American cultures that honored transgenderism with respected social roles. As transgenders (those whose gender display is at least sometimes counter to what the culture dictates) and their increasingly receptive friends and families nurtured a pan-cultural perspective, we learned that trans- By Nancy Nangeroni CHANGING REALITIES Fall 1996 5 community. This healthy perspective is increasingly supported outside the TG community, most recently by Phyllis Burke’s book GenderShock.2 When we encountered transphobia and dis-inclusion within the gay and lesbian communities, some TG folk recognized that a struggle only for transgender rights would surely leave out some other minority group(s). We have responded by committing to a policy of respect for diversity and inclusion. We have opened our movement to include all who wish to be a part, redefining ourselves as gender transgressors, an overarching category that potentially includes gays, lesbians, bisexuals, feminists, and literally anyone. Rather than acting as “wanna-be’s” to some pre-existing group, we have defined an arena for social change in which we play a pivotal part as key disrupter of established norms, but in which all persons have a role and are welcome. Evidence of the growing popularity of these and related ideas shows in recent events. In February 1995, an International Congress on Gender, Cross- Dressing, and Sex Issues was held in Los Angeles. It was the first time the medical and academic communities extended an open invitation to the TG community to join a professional dialogue on TG issues. Not long before, the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) taught an American Psychiatric Association convention that the dominant pathology in gender dysphoria lies not in the individual, but in the culture. The international conference was an attempt by professionals to stop pathologizing transgenders and start listening to us instead. In May 1995, key members of the TG community made a commitment to draw the line on violence against transgenders. Since then, they have conducted demonstrations at sites across the country where transgenders have been victims of violence or persecution. They first did so by conducting a vigil at the trial of one of the murderers of Brandon Teena, a young person born apparently female but living as a man, loving women. Brandon’s nasty murder shocked the small town of Falls City, Nebraska and sent ripples reverberating across the country. The appearance of forty transgender activists on the front steps of the county courthouse received much less publicity than the murder, but has had greater impact. The intrepid transgender activists who traveled to Falls City had no idea what to expect. The best possible result was that they would emerge unscathed from this town that had already claimed the lives of three people for daring to transgress gender norms. As it turned out, declaring to the world their support for the murdered transsexual was an act of courage that left them feeling empowered as never before. Taking on a potentially dangerous mission, they earned some serious self-respect. Subsequent demonstrations included a rally in Colorado Springs at the sentencing of Sean O’Neill, a young femaleto- male transsexual, helping him to receive fair treatment. A demonstration at mayor Marion Barry’s office in Washington, DC helped to reopen the investigation into the death of Tyra Hunter, a young transgender who died after a rescue worker refused to treat her injuries on discovering that she possessed a penis. In Boston, over 250 people participated in a vigil and march to the State House (in 20 degree cold) in support of Chanelle Pickett. A transsexual, she was strangled to death by a man who first claimed to have done it because he “didn’t know she was a he,” then changed his story when he was exposed as a regular “admirer” of transsexuals. As they undertook serious political effort, most transsexual activists lost interest in the Michigan Women’s Music Festival. Previously, the festival’s exclusion of transsexuals had drawn the focus of TS activism. Following the Brandon Teena vigil, however, the focus shifted to more serious hurts, marking a maturing of the TG activist community. It takes greater courage to openly challenge those who would do bodily harm, instead of those who deny admission to a party. An incident of exclusion, rather than violence, moved TG activism in 1995 to a national scale as never before. During the International Conference on Transgender Law & Employment Policy in Texas, the Human Rights Campaign Fund (HRCF) announced that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would bar discrimination based on sexual orientation, would be submitted to Congress without including transgender discrimination. Several TG activists at the Texas convention had lobbied successfully with ENDA sponsor Senator Jeffords for TG inclusion. When they heard that their amendment had been refused, not by some right-wing politico, but by HRCF (the leading gay and lesbian lobbying group), TG activists became enraged. Over the next few months, they organized a sustained nationwide campaign of leafleting at all HRCF fundraising events. Eventually HRCF invited the TG activists to talk, and all agreed to work together for eventual TG inclusion in ENDA. For the TG community, it was the first exercise of a newfound political muscle. Testing that muscle, TG folk for the first time turned out en masse to declare their participation in the process of government. On October 2 and 3, 1995, about 100 TG activists gathered in Washington, DC, where they lobbied the offices of virtually every senator and representative. For most of those visited, it was their first time knowingly meeting more ➟ Invitation We invite you to open your selves to the gender realities you will encounter in the stories and articles in this issue of Open Hands. Our hope is that these realities will put you in touch with (or further deepen your awareness of) widely emerging discussions about gender in our culture today. We invite you also to keep in mind that the transgendered authors and subjects of this Open Hands discussion are individual persons, members of our families, our congregations, and our communities. Their sexuality is only part of their total selves. For TG/TS folks, we hope that this issue of Open Hands will in some way be an aid for sharing yourself with your religious community, however open or limited that interaction might be. As God’s community, we are not whole without you. —Editor 6 Open Hands a transgender person in that environment. For the TG folk who participated, it was an unshakably empowering experience that sent ripples of excitement through the community. The year 1995 also saw the first publishing of IN YOUR FACE, the journal of political activism against gender oppression, and also the widespread acceptance of The Transexual Menace, a direct action organization. Their commitment to confronting with love, recognizing that unruly behavior makes more enemies than friends, and understanding that education is best conducted with a smile, have proven effective in publicizing and alleviating injustices. The Menace—playing a lead role in virtually every demonstration of significance—gives TG activists a rallying point not of aggression, but of courage and pride. Transgender inclusion in other gender- transgressive groups grew markedly, mostly without the acrimony and conflict of HRCF/TG relations. Leaders in gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities began declaring support for inclusion of transgenders in their constituency. At the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force national conference in Detroit, a rousing plenary on inclusion and diversity was delivered by Dr. Elias Farajaje-Jones, an imposing and proud dredlocked figure. An outspoken bisexual, he delivered his speech in a Transexual Menace Tshirt. Another key trend in the TG community has been the emergence of the men, the female-to-male (FTM) community. The FTM presence brings a fresh, balancing perspective to the TG community, and encourages recognition and inclusion of more global gender issues. Their presence also brings greater credibility. The participation of both MTFs and FTMs makes it clear that gender transgression is no longer just a “guy thing.” The most amazing thing about the maturing of the TG community is how different things were just a year or two ago. Originally, the Menace were a few radicals that most TG folk wished would go away. There was little overt political activism. When a transsexual was murdered, everyone sunk their heads and slunk away, hoping someone else would do something and glad they weren’t the victim. TG groups were more concerned with petty inter-group rivalry than with joining society as equal members. Passing was more important than challenging the gender binary. Inclusion meant welcoming transsexuals at a transvestite event. Feminism was merely a way for crossdressers to feel more feminine. We’ve come a long way in a short time. It’s an exciting start. As more and more people step forward and embrace more complex understandings of gender as at least partly socially constructed— as performance—the momen- SPEAKING OUT: Nancy Nangeroni demonstrates at Sean O’Neill’s sentencing in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Sean pled guilty to sexual molestation, after police pressured parents to bring charges against him, rather than face possible conviction and thirty-two years in jail for charges hysterically piled up against him. Photos: Mariette Pathy Allen tum grows to change forever the way in which we regard gender. Thank goodness. It’s long overdue. ▼ Notes 1Judith Butler, Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990. Dr. Butler is professor of humanities at Johns Hopkins University. 2Phyllis Burke, GenderShock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female. New York: Doubleday Anchor, 1996. Source Adapted from an article, “Transgender ’95: A New Day Dawns” in Sojourner: The Women’s Forum, February 1996, pp. 9-10. Used with permission of author. Nancy Nangeroni lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She hosts GenderTalk on WMBR-FM, enjoys working with other activists, and serves a variety of organizations. Nancy is a board member of IFGE and board president of Project 10 East. Fall 1996 7 The transgender (TG) community includes several groups of people who challenge society’s traditional binary notions of sexual identity and gender identity. These include transsexuals, crossdressers (formerly transvestites), drag queens and kings, and female impersonators. All transgress current culturally prescribed gender roles in this country. Some literature says feminists could identify as transgender also because they too transcend prescribed gender roles. For transsexuals, sexual/ gender identity is a daily life event. Crossdressers and drag queens and kings only occasionally cross the gender lines for various reasons, being generally content with their biological sex at birth. Sexual identity refers to biological identifiers; it is that sense of being male in a male body or female in a female body. Sex refers to having genital and reproductive organs identifying a person as biologically male or female or intersexual (formerly hermaphrodite). Intersexual refers to having at least some of both male and female reproductive organs at birth. Gender identity refers to psychosocial identifiers of being masculine or feminine, fulfilling cultural/societal roles of what it means to be a woman or a man. Gender dysphoria is an intense discontent with one’s physical sex/body, a feeling of being in the wrong body. Persons desire to possess the body of the opposite sex and to be regarded as a member of the opposite gender. Transsexualism refers to any attempt to medically and/or surgically realign the physical body to match that of the gender/sexual self identity. Transsexuals (TS) represent only a small part of the transgender community. Transsexualism clinically is related to the psychological, physical, and medical aspects of gender dysphoria. Primary transsexuals have obvious physical explanations (an extra chromosome or fetal/puberty developments inconsistent with the biological internal sex organs at birth). Secondary transsexuals, more common, usually come to a realization of their transgenderedness only after years of mental, social, and emotional confusion. Their condition is often misdiagnosed as mental problems such as borderline personalities or delusions resulting from depression. Sex reassignment refers to possible steps that may be undertaken to move from one sex to the other. These include nonsurgical steps such as hormone treatments, facial hair removal, etc. Sex reassignment surgery involves permanent surgical refashioning of the genitalia to resemble those of the other sex. Women may also have mastectomies. Transsexuals may be male-to-female (referred to as MTF or M2F) or female-tomale (FTM or F2M). Before surgery, transsexuals are often referred to as pre-op; after surgery, as post-op. During the long period of moving from one gender to another, they are said to be transitioning or living in transition. Rather than providing an alphabetical “glossary” we have opted for a “logical progression” of terms which will hopefully help newcomers to this topic make connections between and among the various terms used by writers in this issue.—Editor. Sexual orientation refers, not to male/female sexual identity, but rather to one’s affectional desire for a sexual partner of one own sex or the other sex. There is as much diversity in sexual orientation for transsexuals as for non-transsexuals. The sexual orientation of a transsexual person depends on one’s gender identity, whether one is pre-op or post-op in legal sexual status, and one’s actual sexual/affectional preference in a partner. Only after surgery is complete, and after a successful transition, can the actual sexual orientation of a TS be clearly understood and accepted. Crossdressers represent the largest component of the transgender community. They are usually heterosexual men (often “upstanding family men”) who find relief from society’s rigid role constraints for men by crossdressing. They usually crossdress in secret, either alone or in one of many well-established support groups. For many, a component of fantasy, taboo, and sexual arousal initially exists, but it becomes less important as they discover a more feminine side of themselves that is pleasing to experience occasionally. For some, crossdressing is a short term substitute for intimacy which may be lacking in their lives at any particular moment. Drag queens or female impersonators are the most visible to society, yet represent the smallest percentage of the transgender community. Most are gay men. For some gay men, their drag queen persona is a way to express their feminine side. However, drag queens and female impersonators typically crossdress to entertain or for the money from doing so. Some unfortunately like to shock people, or to make fun of women, or even attract other men for sexual purposes. Some crossdress for illicit or deceitful intentions. Drag kings are lesbians who enjoy crossdressing as men, although most do not try to “pass” as men. Male privilege system is a phrase referring to the basic sexism bias in our society. It shows up in transgendered issues in the fact that most women, heterosexual or lesbian, feel free to crossdress without adverse reaction from society. This gender reality seems to be a function of the binary sex/gender system which privileges and prizes what is male and masculine over what is female and feminine. Sources Thanks to Ashley, Gloria, Vanessa, Rica, Andrea, Nancy, Caroline, Brenda, PFLAG, and others whose definitions influenced this statement. Note that not everyone defines these terms the same way, so you’ll want to check out how people are using terms in any readings or conversations.—Editor. 8 Open Hands The former editor of Concord interviews a lifelong Lutheran who is transsexual. Jim: At what emotional/physical point does one consider one’s self to be a transgendered person? Rica: Wow, you’ve started off with a tough one! To me transgendered means somehow differently gendered, feeling or expressing your gender in ways that are at odds with the usual physical or symbolic expressions of female and male.... It’s a very broad term with fuzzy boundaries, really, and it would be presumptuous of me to define just where those borders are. I’m transgendered, obviously— the doctor said, “it’s a boy” and then I came out as a woman (and changed physically in some significant ways). But Leslie Feinberg is a transgendered woman, too, with a complex personal gender history. You can get some idea of what she’s been through if you read Stone Butch Blues. I know a number of women (most of whom are not transsexual) who identify as transgendered because they feel “somewhere between” female and male, and a few men with similar feelings. Then there are lots of people who like to crossdress or play with gender roles for pleasure on occasion. Some intersexual people (born with genitals considered to be intermediate between the two usual types) also include themselves in the transgender community.... Jim: When did you “come out as a woman”? Rica: ...In my early teens it became a very strong emotional issue. But coming out to others really started in my early thirties, to just a couple of close friends. Then I came out to my brother at thirty-five, to a peer counselor, a therapist, a TS support group, my parents, and my pastor at thirty-six, to the world at large at thirty-eight or thirtynine. Jim: When we spoke at Assembly ‘94 you used the phrase “out of the pit, into the woodwork” as a description of the transgendered experience.... Rica: The expressions aren’t mine; I saw them in an article by Xanthra Phillippa in the first issue of the [maga]zine gendertrash, which was published about 1992.... Many transsexual/transgendered people experience two kinds of gender closets at different times in our lives. To put it in personal terms, before transition (when I passed unwillingly as a man) I concealed my most basic sense of who I was as a gendered person; I was “in the pit.” When I began to live openly as a woman, I “came out of the pit.” Many of us, after making our transition, find it necessary in a transphobic society to avoid drawing attention to our background. As a result, we go “into the woodwork,” a more suitable closet, in which at least we express our gender identity more honestly than before. But [we] are afraid to share with others some of the most profoundly formative and difficult experiences of our lives, and afraid of having our lives disrupted, our safety threatened, if someone should discover that we were born and developed differently than most women or men. Jim: How does this quote relate to your life experience? Rica: I don’t really feel I [am] in the woodwork. I’m pretty open about my transsexuality in all my communities. I have been so since 1993 when I participated in an educational action at the Michigan Women’s Music Festival and followed up with interviews...in both of the Philadelphia area gay papers. With increased political networking and other support systems, it’s becoming possible for more of us to be out of the woodwork now. It’s often said that our political situation is similar to that of the lesbian and gay communities twenty to twenty-five years ago, not long after Stonewall. We still don’t have any legal protection in most places.... Jim: How do you feel about your relationship with Lutherans Concerned/North America (LC/NA) in specific and the church in general? Rica: Well, I’ve found wonderful support in the congregation where I’m a member, and in the Delaware Valley chapter of LC (which my pastor suggested I join).... At Assembly 1992 I only came out to two or three people. It’s a tribute to the sense of safety I felt at Assembly that I did even that, at the time. As for the church in general, well, I’m a lesbian. I feel marginalized by the homophobic politics the ELCA is playing with the sexuality study and their sanctions and threats against congregations that choose openly lesbian and gay pastors. Sometimes I feel just about out of patience with the ELCA as an organization. My heart is with Ruth and Phyllis, and Jeff, and Ross, and Janie Spahr in the Presbyterian church, and the congregations that share in and support their ministries. ▼ Source Excerpted from an article in Concord, 1995-1, the newsletter of Lutherans Concerned/North America. Used with permission. Jim Kocher-Hillmer was editor of Concord from 1992 to 1995. Rica Ashby Fredrickson is a lifelong Lutheran and member of LC/NA. Fall 1996 9 In Transition: Vignettes The goal of most transsexuals is to appear as an ordinary person—in the target gender. Getting to that point often involves relearning how to walk, gesture, sit, dress, wear one’s hair, even talk. There are also new rules to learn for social situations. It is gratifying to find oneself finally “there”—at the place where we come across to the rest of the population as we are to ourselves. Finally hearing that “ma’am” or “sir” can feel like a medal of honor. By Gloria R. Terrill December 1994 I was driving home from Florida where I had been visiting my son whom I had not seen in fifteen years. Knowing that I would be on the road, I decided not to shave on Saturday morning. When I stopped for coffee Sunday morning, I walked into a diner wearing jeans, my Indiana sweatshirt, a state trooper type jacket, and black lace-up shoes. I sat on a stool at the counter. I was alone except for two women and one teenage girl. The larger of the two women came over to me. Saying “Excuse me, ma’am,” she reached down by the base of my stool and picked up something. Seeing my apprehensive look, she quickly added that she wasn’t going to hurt me. For about forty-five minutes while I was there, she called me “ma’am” each time she addressed me. About four hours later, at a rest stop in Tennessee, a woman was returning to the adjacent car. I made a comment about the temperature. We talked for about three minutes, when her husband returned. The woman said to her husband, “She was just telling me that she had just left Florida. We were talking about the weather there.” It almost seems that the scruffier I look, the more feminine I appear to be! I must be doing a better job at incorporating the non-verbal clues than I give myself credit for. I find myself being pleasantly surprised when I am pegged as a female while wearing no makeup and no “female” clothing. What’s a mother to do! June 1995 An openly gay friend invited me to apply for work at the department store where he worked. I had been living full time as a woman for about six months then. As it turns out, the personnel director went out on sick leave. A few months later, the store got a new director since it didn’t look like the other was returning any time soon. My friend asked the new director if she had called me. He told her about my transgender status. She replied, “We’re not allowed to discriminate.” She called me in. By the time this happened, another several months had passed and I was even more comfortable in my new life. My mannerisms and voice were all acceptable. At home in heels or flats, I passed easily— even when I felt I looked a fright. The interview went well. The director offered me my choice of two full time openings. I chose electronics. She called in the store manager since that department had no manager. As I waited outside her office, he walked past me into her office and closed the door behind him. In a few minutes he came back out, walked past me again. A minute later, she came out holding my resume and application. She simply said “We have no positions we can offer you at this time.” Needless to say, my friend and his supervisor, who were rooting for me, were seriously disappointed. I called the Civil Liberties Union in my state. They said “Sorry. If you were gay or black, we could help, but the transgendered have no legal protection in this state.” Even though I was told that no lawyer would touch such a case, I thought about it. But I realized that even though they might decide to hire me, they would soon fire me for some ridiculous reason. I didn’t want to quit my current job for that, so I kept looking. June 1996 I have been working as a woman for almost a year and a half in a restaurant kitchen. By this time, I pass well as a woman even when I look totally frazzled and don’t expect to. The kitchen is a jeans and Tshirt environment—we all dress the same. I wear earrings, make up, and use bobby pins to hold my hat on so it doesn’t flatten out my bangs by the end of the day. Even though I know I pass, a little doubt remains, so I occasionally ask a friend how they perceive me. For instance, I thought everyone in the restaurant knew about my transition. So after a new hire had worked with me for three weeks, I asked, “You know what’s going on for me, don’t you?” “Concerning what?” she queried. “You know that I wasn’t born with female parts, don’t you?” “No.” she answered. I realized that until then she had perceived me as just another woman—exactly what I wanted. Oops! ▼ Gloria R. Terrill is a certified scuba diver, avid gardener, and amateur photographer. She likes paranormal and science fiction shows, light jazz, and a good book. 10 Open Hands A Friend’s Call We stayed in contact over the years while our military careers took us to different continents, Jessy to Panama and me to Germany. Often Jessy’s mother was the home base we used to keep up with changing addresses. It was in March of 1993 that I got a call from Jessy asking my help as a caregiver. At the time I was collecting unemployment and considering pursuit of a Master of Divinity degree in the fall. I had gotten off active duty nine months prior— a casualty of the military drawdown after the fall of the Berlin Wall and the demise of the Warsaw Pact. Jessy had opted out sooner— a result not of losing a love of the profession but a combination of events that deemed separation from the service necessary. I had been aware that in those post-military years my friend had begun the work of actualizing in physical terms an internal reality. My friend Jessy was now known to me as Caleb.* When Caleb called that March, he asked if I could fill the role of caretaker after the sex reassignment surgery that would continue the process of achieving internal and external gender confirmation. I was immediately hit with a Jessy* and I met in the fall of 1982 at our first military duty station. We were both enthusiastic lieutenants, as green as the uniforms we wore. We were devoted to our soldiers and our missions— and we were also both gay women in a very male dominated world. At least that’s what I thought then. Later I would learn that our closets were actually of different parameters. Rugby was the activity that brought us together. I saw a small article in the post newspaper soliciting for players on the women’s team. As a longtime athlete who had never played rugby, I decided to try the sport. During the course of the season I got to know Jessy only as well as anyone could, based on the distance that always seemed to be a factor in any attempts to really communicate. Yet, in a conversation held late one night, I became aware that Jessy was wrestling with fundamental questions of self-identity that far surpassed the normal passages of being twenty-somethings. Driven by my own questions about sexuality, I had read enough to know that there were people who believed that their gender did not match the body they inhabited. I was able to understand, at least superficially, that this was the reality for Jessy. sense of awe at the request. I was very aware of Caleb’s vulnerability in venturing such a request since I had suffered through a stage of debility years before due to a broken leg. I was also humbled by the trust it indicated in our friendship—a friendship that had existed without the luxury of seeing each other for seven years. Caleb met me at the airport. Reviewing my journal entry for that day, I am reminded of the overwhelming perceptions I had at the meeting. I recognized immediately that Caleb was much more relaxed, happy, and at ease than Jessy had ever been. My androgynous female friend—tall, slim, and with strong square shoulders that had formerly made her (supposedly) a readily recognizable member of the lesbian population—was replaced by a man. Caleb stood taller, was robust in appearance, and had a beard that made him a dead ringer for Matthew Broderick. The next two weeks afforded us the opportunity to reconnect as friends— to relive stories of our days in military service. As comrades-in-arms, that language will be with us all our lives. The days after the surgery were filled with pain for Caleb and with anxiety on my By Hope Smith Fall 1996 11 Women Passing as Men Doña Catalina de Erauzo, born in 1592 in Spain, was a South American Robin Hood for fifteen years. Her true sex was revealed when she needed major surgery for a wound. Her fame, however, was so great that when she returned to Europe, she was treated as a hero and continued to pass as a man all the rest of her life. James Miranda Barry, born in 1795, was the first woman doctor in England. Having earned her medical degree from Edinburgh College while still in her teens, she lived as a man all her life. Her “true sex” was only discovered during an autopsy. Ellen Craft, a light-skinned black woman, crossdressed as a young white master in 1848 and escaped slavery in the South to Philadelphia with her husband acting as her slave. Kaúxuma Núpika, a nineteenth century Native American woman of the Kutenai tribe, changed her name from “Mary White Pete” to “Gone to the Spirits” and wore men’s leggings, shirt, and breech cloth. Known as a female berdache, her change came after a dream where “spirits changed her sex and gave her spiritual power.” She married twice, both times to women. She is remembered for leading military campaigns and for helping to negotiate a Flathead- Blackfoot peace treaty. Billy Tipton, who died in 1989, probably began passing as a man (according to her wife) in order to play the piano and saxophone during the Big Band era in the U.S. when women were only allowed to sing. Her adopted sons knew her as a man until her sex was discovered at her death. Source Lesbian Lists by Dell Richards. See especially pages 175-200 for numerous lists of crossdressers and those who might be known today as “pre-op transsexuals.” part. We experienced the process of healing together— each from our own perspective. For me, the experience was akin to birth. I felt as if I were taking part in the emergence of a new person. Of course, internally Caleb was the same friend I had known all along. A Friend’s Touch What amazing insight I was given into the way in which we relate to someone of a gender other than our own. I still have a kind of upside-down, inside-out feeling when I consider the fact that I thought my army buddy, my teammate, was a gay woman and now I know my friend was always a straight man. This caused me to face the assumptions we make about people and the ensuing behavior it generates in us and in them. That first military assignment we shared together was only the first of many times when I balanced pride and love of the career of service with the absolute need at times to be myself with other gay and lesbian people. I was quite successful in resolving these two facts of my life. I can not fathom the pain it must have caused Caleb to be a member of our group—identified by all of us as someone so distant from his internal reality. Even when our group was out of the closet with each other, Caleb was still in a hidden place. There are many more details of the journey I have shared with Caleb. However, the essence for me is the courage Caleb has demonstrated in the face of so many obstacles over the course of that journey. And through it all has been the joy of our friendship. The touch of Caleb’s life on mine has been such a blessing from a gracious Creator— a God who grants each of us the gift of a divine spark which transcends the dimension of the earthen vessel we inhabit. ▼ Note *All names in this article, including the author’s, have been changed. Hope Smith attends Candler School of Theology in Atlanta, Georgia. Caleb currently works in the health care field with other veterans. 12 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456 I did not wake up one day and decide to wear a dress. I guess I was about four when I put on my first dress. At such a small age I remember very little. I do remember putting on my mother’s lipstick and her finding out. Still, a lot of little boys go through this stage. When I was about eight to eleven, I tried on my sister’s dresses and put on my first bra. I would sneak in and put on the clothing of my sister’s friends when they stayed over night. As an older teen, I went to proms. I had a deep desire to be one of the girls in the long beautiful prom dresses, so pretty and so very special. (A prom dress was one of the first items I bought, once my wife allowed such things.) I dated girls and enjoyed being around them much more than being one of the guys playing baseball or basketball or any other sport, but I tried. Contrary to popular beliefs about crossdressers, I was never attracted to guys. I never liked being a guy and never felt attracted to one, then or now. I never had sex before I was married at age twenty. I truly felt in my heart that these desires to be a girl and wear their clothing were due to the sexual suppression I felt in my teen years from the strictness of the church and my beliefs. I even told my wife-to-be that I felt these crossgender desires would cease when we were married (they did not). My wife and I were married in 1974. We took communion at our wedding because we wanted God to be in the center of our lives. Within three years we had begun a puppet ministry that superseded any other in our area or surrounding states. I give the credit to God for our ability to amaze children with stories, songs, puppet shows, and gospel illustrations. We also began a ministry to assist those in need in the county where we lived (one of the poorest in our state). We started with one family with three children. The year before our divorce we, along with local churches and others with whom we worked, supplied toys and Christmas dinner for one hundred families and two hundred fifty children. During this time we also taught Children’s Church in several local churches, opened a clothing building, helped others with gas and electric bills, and did all we could do to show others that God loved them and cared about them as persons. During our eighth year of marriage, my wife found my hidden box of women’s clothing. She felt I was very sick and said so. We went to counseling for “my problem.” After a while she was told that she must decide if she loved me enough to continue the marriage. She did! Slowly, over the next ten years, she did her best to accept me for who I am, even buying me girl clothes for my birthday and Christmas, hoping that it would burn itself out. During those years we talked often of “my problem.” About fifteen years into our marriage, the rejection and the condemnation that the things I did were not right began to affect our sex life. I was not giving her the attention she deserved because I felt any closeness would be perceived as “let’s make love” which I didn’t want to do. I guess I felt so unworthy of love. As I look back, this was the beginning of the end. We went to church regularly and did our very best to be servants of God. We fasted and prayed with many tears for this secret “problem” to pass. Yet God continued to bless us and our ministry right up until the day of our divorce. On January 25, 1993, my wife of eighteen years said she could no longer deal with the girl inside my hidden life. I had told her years before never to ask me to choose between her and Tiffany, for I knew I could not say no to the girl within. She did not understand that it was a matter of being content in my heart and loving myself, which I had never done in the past. I will always love the wife of my youth. After my wife and I separated, I went to a Christian counselor. He and I prayed to God for an answer as to why these things had entered my life. With no answers to “my problem” and with the guilt and condemnation put on me by others, I began to feel more and more unworthy of life and more separated from society. I had lost my church and my wife, who was also my best friend. Now I was told that I was a very selfish person for letting this control my life, that it was like I was having an affair with another woman. My counselor believed that some type of trauma had occurred in my younger days, even in my mother’s womb. I asked, “So God created me, Mom and Dad screwed it up, and now it’s up to me to fix it?” He said, with hesitation, “Yes, I believe so.” I told him I did not accept that. Shortly after Standing Tall: A Crossdresser’s Story By Tiffany S. Fall 1996 13 that, I left his care. Now I go to a secular counselor. She has helped me begin to love myself as God has created me. I still feel the touch of God on my life. I still feel I have a mission to show the love of God to anyone who feels he or she is an outcast. Being a transgender person, I felt for awhile that I was an outcast of the outcast. Today my life is filled with a church that shows the true love of God. Even though they may not understand my motives, they accept me as the woman I feel is trapped inside my seeking heart. That is rare in the church world today. You can come to church as an adulterer and even with the smell of liquor on your breath, but come dressed as female when you are male and stones are cast. Of course, no one minds if a woman wears pants, the only basic clothing a man has. I have met several transgendered people who were asked to rid themselves of their women’s clothing and repent of their sins or else leave the church. I wonder how Christ feels about this type of love? “We will love you only if you follow our rules.” I guess that is just about how my ex-wife put it. Has God given me up to a reprobate mind as I have been taught? Is my life just one big sin? Because I am different, my life has been very lonely and the rejection at times almost unbearable. Except for the love and encouragement of my mother and father, I would have surely ended it. They have stood beside me. I know their hearts are heavy at the way others have dealt with my life, for we all lived in a small county community and rumors abounded. My life goes beyond being a crossdresser. It seems that the only ones who understand me are other crossdressers I have encountered recently. We now have a support group in our town and we work with the local Mental Health Association. How do I truly put into words what my life has been and what it is like to feel so different on the inside when others only see the outside? This is not a sexual issue. It is a gender issue. Sometimes a person’s sex does not match his gender. We are not perverts. We do not desire children sexually. We just desire Wéwha of Zuni (1849-1896) Zuni Pueblo, in western New Mexico, honored three genders before the coming of Anglo Protestant missionaries. Men who chose not to become hunters and warriors became lhamana, members of an alternative gender that bridged the other two. While they were initiated into male religious societies, they became crafts specialists and wore female garb. They were nonwarriors who moved freely in the male and female worlds. Wéwha was a Zuni lhamana who helped bridge his culture and that of Anglo-Americans. As a Zuni cultural ambassador to Washington, D.C., he mixed with “high society” and no one guessed he was not a woman. He assisted Anglo scholars who came to record the ways of his people, and at the same time, resisted Anglo incursions when they seemed improper—once even ending up in jail. He was a deeply spiritual person. In this icon he is shown garbed as the manwoman kachina, Kolhamana, a role he filled during his life. His hands and face are painted ceremonially and he is ready to place the sacred mask on his face. He was well loved throughout his life and his death brought grief to Zuni. The rainbow spirit above his head emphasizes that he is now one of the holy ones who return to their people with blessings. His photograph hangs in the tribal museum today. ▼ Icon © by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Text adapted from back of icon notecard published by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. Both are used with permission. rejection—as well as my return to stand tall and tell others that I am a transgender person. I am “gender-gifted.” I am that which God has created for his purpose. God has always been there for me and said he would never leave me. ▼ Tiffany S. is a lab technician in West Virginia. to live our lives in a peaceful and accepting way and to be loved. We have existed all through history. The American Indians treated those like us with respect, for it was believed that these individuals had the spirits of two people. Maybe we do! It is quite an experience to view the world as a man and then later the same day go to the same places and view the world as a woman. Today I feel I am a very unique person to have been chosen to tell the story of my heart’s losses, my sadness, and my 14 Open Hands Jeanne: What are some stereotypes and myths about gender? Andrea: Men are hard; women are soft. A man leads; a woman follows. Men are heads of households; women are homemakers. There are only men and women. They need each other to be complete. One does not have the right to change something as basic as gender. These stereotypes and myths limit us all in the fulfillment and enjoyment of our lives. Part of the construction of the transsexual experience comes from the rigidity of cultural gender roles. Jeanne: Can you say more about that? Andrea: Transsexuals are really trying to follow the heterosexual model almost to the letter. If we could step outside the dichotomous heterosexual model, life would be more healthy. But most transsexuals grow up in environments that have rigid social constructions of gender. They therefore experience a great sense of deviance for violating those social standards. Jeanne: I’ve heard you talk about deviance before. Tell me more. Andrea: I struggled to conform to what others saw: boy/male/man. But that is not how I saw myself. So I experienced a sense of social deviance that stemmed from a concern about violating the “sanctity of natural creation.” In a situation of discomfort with the supposed naturally created gender order, one’s sense of personal integrity is severely threatened. Integrity is the only thing I have to support my esteem and selfworth as an individual, to keep my life from being empty. When someone attacks my integrity, it rips me apart, to the essence of my soul. Jeanne: What does your experience tell us about our cultural gender roles? Andrea: In our culture, women develop more intimate friendships, while male friendships are more casual. So femaleto- male transsexuals end up expecting their friendships with other men to be much more intimate and intense than men’s friendships usually are. Male-tofemale transsexuals (MTF), on the other hand, are really struck by power differentials. There are things women cannot say directly as women. They are expected to negotiate what men can just claim. The very question, “Why am I being excluded?”—when voiced by a MTF transsexual—reflects the privilege of growing up as a heterosexual male. MTF transsexuals often become very angry that, as women, they must negotiate to get their needs met. Jeanne: What would happen if gender roles weren’t so clearly defined? Andrea: Fewer people would pursue surgical solutions and shove themselves into a dichotomous model. Jeanne: Is it ultimately a mistake to undergo surgical correction? Andrea: No, but if gender roles were more fluid, fewer people would need to pursue surgical solutions. It’s important that society develop more fluid gender role expectations and be open and accepting of those who found that a surgical solution was the most congruent way to resolve their gender dysphoria. As we seek integrity and coherence, we each make the best decision we can. ▼ Jeanne G. Knepper, Ph.D., is an ordained elder and director of Shalom Ministries in the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference, UMC. Andrea Abernethy, a Shalom Ministries participant, is active at University Park UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Portland. SHIFTING THEORIES Myths, Stereotypes, and Gender Role Realities By Jeanne Knepper and Andrea Abernethy Fall 1996 15 change feasible and available. Christine Jorgensen’s announcement of her 1952 operation brought clinicians a flood of requests from transsexuals. For some time, medical and popular thought has been that one’s sex (physical), sexual identity (psychological), and gender (psychological/social) identities are the same, or that they “normally” coincide: male-bodied/man/masculine, female-bodied/woman/feminine. That is, we have considered that sexual identity and gender are located within, or are at least connected with, the body. Under this theory, transsexualism can be defined as having a male sexual identity and a masculine gender identity but female genitalia, or a female sexual identity and the gender identity of a woman in a body with male reproductive equipment. In this theory, sex change is viewed as a corrective, a restoration of the body-sex-gender match that “should have been.” Transsexual people who request a sex change (sex reassignment), and physicians assisting them, are working out of these assumptions.1 However, some researchers think that sexual identity and gender identity are independent and don’t always “normally” coincide as male-man or femalewoman. They believe that some cases of transsexualism, then, are not a rejection of the birth-assigned sex, but can simply be instances where sex and gender don’t match. Some non-TS trangendered people, regardless of their sexual identity, have a non-specific gender identity.2 There is, in addition, a substantial body of opinion in several fields of study and among some transgendered groups that gender is largely or entirely a social construction, a learned set of attitudes and behaviors that is flexible rather than being fixed and biologically determined. These critics of the biological theories, including some non-TS Should society view transgendered/ transsexual (TG/TS) people as a sexual minority group or as mentally ill people? It depends on whom you ask. The medical, psychiatric, and social science communities do not agree on a core set of concepts or approaches. Many transgendered persons have views that contradict those of the professionals. Terminology, too, is inconsistent. The present medical and lay discourse and the fluidity of language are reminiscent of what was happening around language of sexual orientation not so many years ago. Remember, although the Kinsey reports came out in 1948 and 1953, until the 1970s homosexuality was still on the books as mental illness. Bisexuality was widely ignored until the late 1980s. In both instances, change occurred through activism plus new knowledge from research and social theorists. Sex and Gender: Basics To understand transgender we must understand the difference between modern concepts of sex and gender. Sex and gender become entwined in our discussion, often in ways that defy logic or consistency. People—even medical/ therapeutic professionals— mix or switch between biological and social concepts without seeming to realize it. Sex refers to biological maleness and femaleness and is based on physiological features of the reproductive system and chromosomes. Intersexuality (hermaphroditism) identifies those who at birth have some parts of both male and female reproductive organs. Early in life an individual forms a sexual identity, that is, a sense that being male/male-bodied or being a female person within one’s female body is part of one’s selfhood. Gender is psychological and social, separate from but possibly linked to body sex. Societies have template expectations— however widely or narrowly conceived or overlapping— of how a girl/ woman or boy/man feels, thinks, and acts. Gender identity is an individual’s sense of belonging in and fulfilling this social role. Gender dysphoria is a state of extreme discomfort with one’s assigned sex because one’s sexual identity and gender identity don’t match the body. No one knows how either sexual identity or gender identity develops— whether inborn, acquired from the sociocultural environment, or a combination— but there are opinions on all sides. Confusingly, we also use the term “sexual identity” to refer to one’s sexual orientation as a bisexual, a lesbian, or a gay man, but this is a concept different from male-female sexual identity. Sexual orientation refers to one’s potential to be erotically attracted to the same and/ or the other sex. Transgendered people can have any sexual orientation. As with everyone else, the most reliable indicator of sexual orientation is the individual’s self-definition. Theories and Critics Transgenderism is not new and is not only a Western occurrence. Many types by many names have been reported in most cultures and back through history and legend to ancient times. As with all forms of otherness, attitudes toward transgender in various cultures and eras have ranged from persecution to tolerance to reverence. Such persons are sometimes perceived as having special spiritual insights. Some societies accommodate transgendered individuals by creating special practices or social relationships. The transsexual form of transgenderism is not new, either, but it has newly emerged as a clinical diagnosis and social issue since the 1950s. That is when surgical techniques and knowledge of endocrinology and hormone therapy had developed sufficiently to make sex more ➟ Medical/Therapeutic Processes-- and their Critics By Caroline Presnell 16 Open Hands transgendered people, argue that TS is a product of society’s gender role stereotyping. Some charge that it was partly created by and is perpetuated by a selfserving sex change industry. They see sex change as buying into gender stereotypes of masculinity and femininity rather than rebelling against them.3 Diagnosis and Treatment Medical doctors and therapists today both generally consider transsexualism (TS) an illness, but they disagree on how to treat it. The medical diagnosis of TS has been described as a negotiating process between the patient and the medical team. The main “symptom” is a strong demand for sex change. Some patients and doctors are content with partial alterations— without genital surgery—such as reduction of the Adam’s apple, mastectomy, or hormone treatment. Doctors say that they perform the surgery to alleviate severe psychological suffering. Indeed, to qualify for the full range of change procedures, a transsexual’s distress must appear extreme, even suicidal. The American Psychiatric Association defines transsexualism as extreme gender dysphoria, a psychological condition with no physiological symptoms at all. Their practitioners do not advocate surgical remedies except reluctantly to address acute suffering. However, psychological counseling alone has been no more effective in changing gender identity to match anatomy than it has been for changing sexual orientation. Transsexualism thus gets treated by drastic physiological intervention where, usually, relief is achieved. To desire or submit to the severe alteration of a healthy body, one’s motivation must surely be extreme. Surgical procedures such as removal or internal relocation of testes, mastectomy, excision of the penis, and construction of an artificial vagina or penis are obviously very traumatic, very expensive, and are seldom covered by health insurance. Recuperation is long and painful, sometimes with repeat surgeries. The changes are also irreversible. The screening process for acceptance for surgery is intended to help individuals be very sure they want the procedures and have a good chance of adjusting to the new sex/gender. In addition to extensive psychological testing and interviewing, candidates are required to go through a transition period of about a year during which they must live full time as the desired gender. Usually hormone therapy proceeds in the transition, so physical characteristics such as hair growth patterns and body fat distribution begin to change. Success in passing in the new role largely determines final eligibility for surgery. Many critics charge that the standard measurements of masculinity and femininity used by clinical teams to determine the patient’s degree of gender role deviation are formulated on narrow stereotyped images of gender roles. Transsexuals, in order to demonstrate their condition as needing remedy and their qualifications for receiving it, must conform to behaviors that many other groups are modifying or rejecting. This is especially true for the “feminine” characteristics expected of male-to-female transsexuals. Yet, most transsexuals assert that this is what they have always wanted, what they always were, and that the changes are a matter of bringing to the outside what was previously already inside. Sex Change Realities Most individuals identifying as transsexuals say they “always knew” they had the “wrong” body. Often the discomfort and the cross-gender behavior starts in childhood. They experience their bodies as alien, even repulsive. They may crossdress part time or full time. For many, the psychological pain is intense and some turn to substance abuse to ease it. They report a lifetime of feeling that they don’t fit in, of rejection and/or ridicule. Echoing lesbigay history, many transsexuals deal with their pain and confusion in isolation. Does what’s accomplished with sex change procedures really equal the new sex? The chromosomes haven’t changed. The new body will need constant maintenance for life— for example, with makeup or electrolysis— and would at least partially revert if hormones were discontinued. The individual cannot perform the reproductive functions of the new sex. Except for the transition period and perhaps some experience in “passing,” there is no history of being in the world as the other sex and gender, no accumulated set of responses or ways to be “in” the gender. Some people after their surgery feel that something is still missing, and a small number have severe adjustment problems. But despite the limitations, and perhaps due partly to the screening process, most are very happy with the changes. They feel immense relief. They feel proud of the new body. They go on with ordinary productive lives and relationships, feeling better equipped than before. As long as our culture continues to operate under the assumption that there are two distinct sexes and genders, some transgendered people will seek sex change surgery in order to better fit their internal realities to their external ones. And other TG people will continue to challenge that binary assumption, seeking to break down the very notion that only two sexes/genders exist. ▼ Notes 1Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw (New York: Routledge, 1994), p. 30; Bernice L. Hausman, Transsexualism (Durham: Duke Univ. Press, 1995), pp. 7-26, 41-43, 77, 147, 153-58, 166, 199; John Money, Gendermaps (New York: Continuum, 1995). Although these authors do not specifically separate the three factors, I believe the division can be educed from their writings. 2Michael Z. Fleming, et. al., “Questioning Current Definitions of Gender Identity,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 9, no. 1, (1980):13- 26; Holly Devor, “Sexual Orientation Identities, Attractions, and Practices of Femaleto Male Transsexuals,” The Journal of Sex Research 30 (November 1993):303-315. 3Holly Devor, ibid; Hausman. op. cit., pp. 107, 185-94; Suzanne J. Kessler and Wendy McKenna, Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach (Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press, 1985); Janice G. Raymond, The Transsexual Empire (New York/London: Columbia Univ. Teachers College Press, 1994). Caroline Presnell is a member of Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in Evanston, Illinois. Fall 1996 17 FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: SEXUAL INTEGRITY By Mary E. Hunt The glacial pace of change on matters sexual, especially in Christian church circles, prompts me to propose a new way to think about the issues at hand. Patience is not a virtue when peoples’ lives are at stake. Integrity is. The droning debates about sexual identity, sexual preference, and sexual orientation all bog down at the point where science and theology meet, both coming up empty handed on the whys and wherefores of human love. I encourage the continued research that will help us sort out the biological from the environmental, nature from nurture. Along with many students of these matters, I suspect that a complex interaction of factors will show that neither side is finally determinative. Add to the mix the emerging literature on transgendered people, and what becomes clear is that binary categories— he-she, heterosexual-homosexual—have long outlived their usefulness. Still, integrity has its place. A great debate as the U.S.A. gears up for the next census is how to count the multiracial people among us, the children of people from different races. So, too, I predict, will census takers face the dilemma shortly that the gender categories are far too few to encompass the variety among us. Martine Rothblatt, a post-op male-tofemale transsexual who has a successful career in law and business, genderchange notwithstanding, writes: “In the future, labeling people at birth as ‘male’ or ‘female’ will be considered just as unfair as South Africa’s now-abolished practice of stamping ‘black’ or ‘white’ on people’s ID cards.”1 Rothblatt suggests colors as a useful set of categories for describing sexuality, insisting that just as colors come in an endless series of hues, so too do our sexualities come cise terminology that is difficult to quantify, even harder to translate across cultures, races, and time. In light of this, I propose that the debate in church circles be conducted using sexual integrity as the primary category. This is not a Jesuitical way of passing over the dilemmas of modern biological and social sciences, but an attempt to contribute a constructive element to the debate from a theo-ethical starting point. Integrity means wholeness. Wholeness suggests that we strive for, and encourage one another to achieve, the healthy integration of oneself in a community which comes from achieving a “fit” between who we say we are and who others perceive us to be. Integrity also means moral soundness, honesty, a moral “fit” between what I say and what I do. This is even more difficult to achieve in a society and in churches where “don’t ask, don’t tell” is epidemic. But it is a challenge which would make some thrice-married congressmembers cease and desist in their efforts to legislate the “defense of marriage.” It would level the ethical playing field for future discussions, which, in itself, would be a good first step toward sexual justice. ▼ Note 1Martine Rothblatt, The Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender, (New York: Crown, 1995), p. 1. Mary E. Hunt, a feminist theologian, is codirector of WATER, the Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual in Silver Spring, Maryland. in a variety of ways. Regardless of what one thinks of the analogy, the larger point is that the more we know about sexuality the more we discover just how differentiated it really is. This is the social context in which church people debate issues of same-sex love. When listened to through the ears of postmodern people who acknowledge a tremendous diversity and deem it good, if still somewhat confusing, the categories of the debate—“practicing,” “self-affirming,” “unrepentant”—seem ever so quaint, not to say a little silly. Concretely, the pastoral problems we face tomorrow are not confined to whether the pastor and his partner of thirty years are sleeping together; more power to them. Rather, if we are honest and forward looking, the problem will be how does somebody’s child figure out what gender she is, with whom she cares to partner, whether she will remain a “she” for the better part of her days, and what it all means in terms of her being part of a community of people who allegedly affirm all of creation as participating in the Divine? Sexual identity, as gays and lesbians have used the term popularly, is predicated on certain static, essentialist notions that “I am what I am.” Great song, but is it good epistemology? We know now that sexual identity changes over a lifetime for many people. It fluctuates with age, cultural consequences, and relational status. In short, today’s heterosexually married woman can be tomorrow’s happily single lesbian. Likewise, sexual preference is a slippery term. The factors that go into informing a “preference,” and the degree to which such a preference can shift, make it less than ideal as a basis for a social change movement. So, too, with sexual orientation we are dealing with a less than pre18 Open Hands About the time I feel I have no lessons left to learn in my Christian life, God will bring out one more. I would like to share something I found out recently about myself and prejudice. A few of you have heard this anecdote, so bear with me. Prejudice, bigotry, bias; they are all such ugly words and uglier still when their effects have been leveled at you. As members of Affirmation1 we all share some level of concern about our place in American society and particularly our place within the United Methodist Church. We long for those places to be better, to have parity. Within the teachings of Christ we hear love and acceptance, but within the organization of the church we have a Book of Discipline which spells out our place in rather painful terms. Experiencing so much open, systematic, vocal rejection by what should be the very instrument of Christian love has really been difficult for me. Over the years I evolved from closeted and ultraconservative to essentially open and liberal. I definitely understood the need for acceptance, tolerance, love thy neighbor, and so on. Only I didn’t. You see, my “neighbor” was defined as anyone who was already a lot like me, or who thoughtfully kept their distance and did not offend or challenge. What an utterly shameful position for a Christian to take. The thing is, that position was so long-term, so background to my day, that I was not even aware of it. When National Affirmation requested a forum for transsexuals, I openly questioned what this had to do with us. I felt it unnecessary and offensive. Well, apparently God did not, because within a few weeks circumstances pushed me grudgingly into conversation with a well-known local transsexual. The conversation was innocuous and the content irrelevant, but the epiphany that occurred for me immediately altered my life. I was suddenly so aware of, and ashamed of, my selfishness— and astonished that these feelings had smoldered long past the point where I considered myself insightful and devout. Since then I have made it my daily practice to be alert for other times that I may reject or disenfranchise some person or group. I relate this story to you because I believe it so important for us...to be sure that our focus includes making a place at the table, not just gaining one. When our thoughts, our conversations, or our humor are self-deprecating or exhibit prejudice or bigotry toward others, we are debilitating our spiritual selves and thwarting our real desire— to have a full relationship with our Lord. I frequently ask myself, “Have I been forgiving today? Have I been compassionate?” To these questions I now add, “Who have I sent away?” ▼ Editor’s Note Affirmation is a national United Methodist lesbigay support group, with chapters in numerous cities. Stephanie Rodriguez lives in the Dallas area, is a senior at Texas Woman’s University, and serves as president of Dallas Affirmation. By Stephanie Rodriguez WELCOMING MINISTRIES Fall 1996 19 more ➟ By Karen P. Oliveto My desk drawer has become the official Bethany photo album. All the pictures taken at our various community events wind up in this drawer after their brief stay on a church bulletin board. Four are particularly poignant to me. Testing our Openness The first photo is of a young woman on a church retreat. She smiles slyly into the camera, holding a chameleon she had found on a hike. Remembering who Molly was, the irony of this photo does not escape me. Chameleons are those creatures that change their colors to adapt to their outer surroundings. Molly, however, transformed herself to adapt to an inner landscape that was undetectable to the naked eye. When I first began as pastor of Bethany United Methodist Church in San Francisco, many of the parishioners asked me excitedly, “Have you met Molly yet?” Molly, they informed me, was a male-to-female pre-operative transsexual (TS) who had just started attending Bethany a few months before. The congregation marveled at her knowledge of scripture and her deeplyheld faith. They appreciated her willingness to make herself vulnerable to the community by sharing honestly in prayer time her struggles as a TS. There was another reason why people were excited about Molly’s presence, although this was unspoken. Molly tested the limits of Bethany’s openness. As a reconciling congregation whose membership was pretty evenly split between gay and non-gay people, the congregation felt they were a place where everyone was welcomed. Every level of leadership reflected the congregation’s demographics and they were proud of being a bridge between the gay/lesbian/ bisexual and straight communities. Molly, however, brought a new element into the picture. The congregation had to struggle with a new layer of issues around inclusivity. The lessons we learned through Molly have been invaluable. The other three photos bear witness to this education. Examining Gender Assumptions One photo is of a group of Bethany women soaking in a hot tub, the first event of a newly formed women’s group. It was held at the home of one of our members. The announcement was made in church, inviting the women of the congregation to this special event. Molly signed up. At this point, Molly had only just begun hormone treatment. She was still living her life as a man professionally. In fact, church was the only place she was exclusively living as a woman. While her hair was long and she used quite a bit of make-up, physically, she was still very much a male. Her desire to attend the women’s group raised issues for some of the women. Did we really accept Molly as another woman in the church? What made one a woman? Even though some women struggled with these questions, all encouraged Molly to attend the event. We all knew that this would be Molly’s first outing in a woman’s bathing suit. She arrived a little late. We were already soaking in the tub. We tried to maintain our conversation as Molly disrobed to reveal a woman’s one-piece suit. Then, as she plunged into the hot tub, our admiration of her courage moved us beyond questions of who is a 20 Open Hands woman and who is not. We cheered as she broke the surface. This was truly a baptism of water and the spirit, as Molly claimed yet again who God had created her to be. Allowing Others to Name Themselves The next photo is a group picture taken on another church retreat— it was the first church retreat Molly attended with us. We were in a lodge that had two dormitories filled with bunk beds. As people were choosing their beds, it became evident that we had created one male bunkroom and one female bunkroom. Those of us who arrived early wondered where we should “put” Molly. Then we realized our arrogance— we were not “putting” anyone anywhere—retreatants were choosing for themselves their sleeping quarters. Molly should be allowed to do the same. This was the greatest lesson Molly taught us: the importance of allowing someone to name themselves. Even as an “open” congregation, we had to confess our own rigid adherence to societal norms of what made a person male or female. We struggled with our desire to have people “fit” into certain categories, while Molly’s presence reminded us of the mystery of sexuality and gender. Molly helped us to hold in reverence this sacred gift and to meet people where they were in their journey of claiming their own piece of this gift. Accepting Though Not Understanding The last photo is a picture of the congregation in worship. There is Molly, over to the right, sitting near the LOLs (Little Old Ladies), as they call themselves. Molly had chosen her place in worship nearest the group that had the hardest time understanding who she was. These women, most of them over eighty, grew up in an era when there was no ambiguity about sexuality. Gender roles and expectations were clear and rigid. Yet, in their midst, Molly found a worship home. One Sunday, during the sharing of joys and concerns, Molly announced that she had her license officially changed from male to female. Instantly, her pewmates broke into applause. These LOLs embraced her and accepted her, even when they couldn’t fully understand her. Being Pastorally Ready Looking over these photos, I can’t help but reflect on the pastoral relationship Molly and I shared together. None of the other churches I have served had ever had a TS member, at least that I had been aware of. Molly, wanting me to understand her life and struggles, gave me lots of reading material, primarily autobiographies by other TSs. While there were common threads in each story, nothing helped me understand better than Molly herself. Pastoral relationships, no matter who they’re with, require us to be open to the life experiences of another and to discern there the movement of God. Molly’s life experiences were vastly different from my own, but I was committed to meeting her where she was and being her companion in the faith. This was not always easy. There were parts of her world that were tremendously unfamiliar to me. There were communities she belonged to that were far from my own. So that our relationship could have integrity, I did not hide either my ignorance or my lack of understanding from Molly. Molly returned my honesty by being patient with me as she took great pains to educate me. More than anything, Molly wanted to be known, especially by the faith community. The most difficult area for me, however, was around gender issues. Molly, as she explored what it meant for her to be a woman, pressed a lot of my buttons around my own feelings of inadequacy and around my questions about gender. While Molly was asking her own set of questions, a voice within me was asking, “So, what does it mean for you, Karen, to be a woman?” It would have been easy to take out my own frustrations on Molly. I knew I had my own work to do around these issues so that I could be as present as possible to Molly and not have my own issues set the agenda for our time together. This was especially important in light of what I represented to Molly. She had known much rejection from the church and had been taught to be ashamed of who she was. Yet she knew that God, for whatever reason, had made her who she was. By representing the institutional church, I could be a vessel of healing for Molly, as she struggled between the church’s rejection and God’s acceptance. Raising Accountability in a New Way Still, I had to struggle with the difference between acceptance and calling Fall 1996 21 her into accountability as a person of faith. As a TS who found limited acceptance in the larger society, Molly traveled among several sub-cultures. Even though they had an element of danger, these provided her with a sense of community. Her actions confused me. I saw her work so hard and invest so much into becoming a woman; at the same time she was engaging in what I considered to be self-destructive behaviors. “Is what you are doing increasing your love of God, neighbor, and yourself?” These behaviors pushed the limits of my tolerance. But what is the moral measuring stick used to determine “good” and “right” or “bad” and “wrong” behavior? I realized that this was the wrong question. Instead, the question I posed to Molly was more a question of faith: “Is what you are doing increasing your love of God, neighbor, and yourself?” (Thank you, Richard Niebuhr.) This allowed Molly to be her own moral agent, instead of my trying to fit her into an ethical structure that had little room for her and her experience. Deuteronomy 22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man’s apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God” (NRSV). Deuteronomy 22:5 is used against transgendered people. However, the HarperCollins Study Bible suggests that this crossdressing prohibition referred to practices used in the worship of the Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar. Harper’s Bible Commentary further explains that this verse is part of a larger passage (21:22—22:12) with a common theme of “solidarity”— Israel’s solidarity with God. The worship of Ishtar involved crossdressing so the religion of Yahweh prohibited it to encourage Israelite solidarity. Verse 22:12 exhorted the Israelites to wear tassels or fringes on the four corners of their cloaks—a distinctive dress code which promoted positive visible solidarity with Yahweh. Remember also the ancient biblical world’s insistence that things created separately in nature (according to their understanding) should not be mixed, including the mixing of sexual roles (Leviticus 18:22) and gender roles (Deuteronomy 22:5). learned, the prayers we spoke together, the woman of faith I have become because she shared her life and faith with me. One of her friends said at her memorial service: “Let us never forget that Molly was more than just a transsexual.” How true. Like each one of us, Molly is a sum of many parts, brought together by God to make a unique piece of art. I put the pictures away, but they are forever etched in my mind, a reminder of one woman’s painful journey to become the person God created her to be. ▼ Karen P. Oliveto is chair of the board of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Discovering One Safe Space Is Not Enough Often, when we met, Molly would begin to sob. These sobs would originate somewhere deep within her soul, as she was consumed by moans and tears. It was the expression of the pain and frustration of being someone whom the world chose to reject and ridicule. I often wondered if having the safe place of a church was enough for Molly. It wasn’t. The immense pain Molly bore became too great—and one day she leapt off the Golden Gate Bridge. Our community mourned deeply the loss of one of our sisters. More than Just a Transsexual It has been more than a year since Molly’s death. Still, her impact on our community is evident. People recall events and times with Molly with great fondness. The things she taught us about the struggle to become who God created you to be continue to shape how many of us live. As a pastor, I, too, have been touched irrevocably by this one in the picture who holds a chameleon. I remember her mischievous grin, her wicked sense of humor, her pleading eyes, and her fiery anger. I recall the journey we shared as she invited me to walk with her through her transformation. I recall the lessons I 22 Open Hands May I come to your church? Martha writes: It was a standard Thursday. Teach. Office hours. Check e-mail. And then there on the screen was a startling message from Don McCloskey, a male senior colleague at another school. “I am cross-gendered, lifetime, and after fifty-three years of being a good soldier, I am finally doing something about it. Not to stun you, but I am becoming a woman.” Much reflection—theological and otherwise—followed. What did this mean? What is a “man?” A “woman?” Where do transsexuals fit into God’s creation? I came to see that, regardless of anything else, Don (soon to be Deirdre) was a child of God. Whatever else was happening, our prayers were needed. An e-mail friendship soon developed. I learned that Deirdre would spend six weeks in Berkeley during a bevy of cosmetic surgeries. She asked if she could visit our church. “Can we welcome and affirm Deirdre?” I wrote to our on-line church members. Their responses overwhelmed me. Thoughtful, prayerful responses. People who had personal issues with transsexualism named their issues and clearly distinguished them from the theological issue. Others acknowledged some discomfort, but in honesty, not in opposition. “Yes,” they all replied. “God’s love knows no bounds and therefore neither can ours. We can welcome and affirm Deirdre!” On Thanksgiving Sunday 1995, we welcomed Deirdre. “May the Peace of Christ be with you always.” Deirdre writes: I felt the warmth of Martha’s religious faith in her outreach to me, someone she knew only slightly in a professional line. In November 1995, when I was under attack by my sister in Chicago (the third of four episodes in three states), Esther Hargis, the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley, and other Baptist friends were wonderful in support. I felt for the first time since childhood the strength that faith brings. So I wanted to visit the congregation that had already started sending me loving e-mails. (Think of a new translation: Paul’s e-mails to the Corinthians!) I knew nothing of the discussion that Martha reports. I knew merely that when I came, as a “new woman” (a better term I think than the medicalsounding “transsexual”), I was lovingly accepted. I was so frightened that first Sunday, in my Sunday best, with all of four days of “full-time” experience as a woman! I needn’t have worried. The lovely sermon, music, passing of the peace, and testimony left me blubbering shamelessly. ACTS 8 IN TODAY’S CHURCH By Deirdre N. McCloskey and Martha L. Olney Growing Up In and Out of the Faith Deirdre writes: I was a Christian of sorts as a boy, listening fervently to the radio show “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” affected by the church music my mother sang as a musician. My family on my father’s side was Catholic, though secularized. From adolescence on, I lived in a heavily Catholic town. When I started going out with girls, they were Catholics, as my future wife was. My parents were agnostics, but deeply respectful of religion. I remember them, for example, reading and debating Cardinal Newman’s Apologia Pro Vita Sua. So if I could acquire faith, it would, I think, be in the Catholic Church—though the First Baptist Church of Berkeley has given me a new look at the Baptist tradition. From age eleven I definitely wished to be a girl, although I “caged” the beast for forty years. It was natural that, when in August 1995 I realized who I was and what my lifetime of closeted crossdressing was all about, I described the realization in religious terms, as an “epiphany” while driving from Chicago to Iowa City after a crossdressing meeting. This proved to be a mistake: psychiatrists take religious experiences (mine was not; it was just an “Aha!” effect) as evidence of madness. My sister used the word against me to try to get me locked up. It is strange, this prejudice against religion, part of an ignorantly secular world. Martha writes: “What does it mean to be a Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” a gay friend in our congregation, First Baptist Church of Berkeley, asked. “Do we simply welcome and affirm people ‘who are different like we are?’ Or does it mean something more?” My first reply was easy. “It’s in our Statement of Purpose. We welcome and affirm gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in all lay and professional ministries.” But it was one of those questions that stayed with me. He was on to something. A member of our church, who had served jail time after his wife brought assault charges against him, arrived at church on Christmas Day 1994. He hoped only to catch a glimpse of his kids. Under the terms of the restraining order, he knew he could not stay once they arrived. All of my feminist sensibilities screamed at me to be wary, to be cold. And then my friend’s question ran through me: “What does it mean to be a Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” I welcomed the member, greeted him, wished him a Merry Christmas. “God loves you.” Inclusivity, I began to understand, is about stretching our human-made boundaries. It is about believing that God dwells in each and every person. It is not an “anything goes” theology—there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. But the Gospel message is simple: “God’s love and grace surround you always.” Fall 1996 23 Baptism in the Spirit Deirdre writes: The congregation of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley ministered to me in two ways. Its pastor and its members offered me direct support in some of the most terrifying hours of my life. The terror, it is sad to report, came mainly from psychiatrists sworn to heal. “I shall fear no evil for Thou art with me.” The congregation as a whole in the service, and then individually at the social hours and luncheons to follow, treated me as one of God’s children, as a woman, and as appropriate to be loved. The members of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley live out the message of Jesus: God’s love is an inclusive love. In the months I was associated with the church, I took 1 Corinthians 13 as a text, especially for its criticism of intellectual arrogance in the face of love— something professors like myself need to grasp. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13 KJV). The word is “love” in modern translations, but the old word “charity” conveys better the outreaching, affirming love of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley. Deirdre N. McCloskey is professor of economics and history at the University of Iowa, Iowa City. Until November 1995, she was known as Donald N. McCloskey. She is past president of the Social Science History Association and president of the Economic History Association. In these articles on transgender realities, several basic concerns confront us as a culture: 1. What does it mean to be “transgendered” in a “binary gendered” society? 2. How does the binary system (two genders: male and female) oppress those who do not “fit” neatly into that system? 3. What would be different in our culture if we looked at transgender realities as healthy responses to the oppressive male privilege system that accompanies our binary system?1 Other basic concerns address us directly as “welcoming communities”: 1. How have we excluded transgendered people from Christian community? 2. How do we reconcile Deuteronomy 22:5 with emerging understandings of transgender realities? 3. Can we affirm that transgendered people have the same claim on God’s love and the church’s ministry as anyone else? 4. What ministries are needed? 5. How might we (individually or as a congregation or campus ministry) make an inclusive witness? Note 1For more on the “male privilege” system in general, see Open Hands, Fall 1995. Martha writes: In Acts 8 we read, “Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch.... So Philip ran up to [him] and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah.... The eunuch asked Philip, ‘About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?’ Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture [Isaiah 53:7-8], he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, ‘Look here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?’... Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and Philip baptized him” (Acts 8:27, 30, 34-38 NRSV). The eunuch, someone traditionally understood as residing outside the Realm of God, was approached by Philip, an apostle preaching the Good News of Jesus Christ. When the eunuch asked to be baptized, Philip offered no opposition. Indeed, in one reading of the text, not only the eunuch but also Philip himself are immersed in the baptismal waters. The eunuch inadvertently teaches Philip about the inclusivity of the Good News. We welcomed Deirdre to our worship service, believing we could minister to her in a time of need. Our prayers joined with those of dozens of others throughout cyberspace. We offered her Christian love and nurture. A surprising thing happened. Just by asking if she would be welcome in our midst, Deirdre ministered to us. Like the eunuch some two millennia ago, a presumed outsider expanded our understanding of the inclusivity of the Gospel message. “Do we simply welcome and affirm people ‘who are different like we are?’” No. We welcome and affirm in the name of Jesus Christ. In so doing, we not only share but also receive God’s grace. The Holy Spirit baptizes us all. ▼ Martha L. Olney is treasurer of the First Baptist Church, a Welcoming and Affirming congregation in Berkeley, California. She is a lifetime American Baptist and direct descendent of Roger Williams. Martha teaches economics at the University of California, Berkeley. WELCOMING ALL: Deirdre (left) and Martha share a happy moment. 24 Open Hands The story I share is my own story. I speak only from that story and not for a community, or for a culture, or for anyone else besides myself. My story is uniquely and individually mine and I claim it with as much pride as I can because I have spent too many years hating it and trying to disclaim it. The story that I share is the journey of understanding myself as a transsexual. That is, I have always thought that I should have been born a woman and not a man. Knowing and accepting this, though, has never been easy. Feeling Caught Quite a while ago, I began my coming out process in a conversation with a friend. Eric told me about his journey as a gay man and what that meant to his life and his relationship with God. As I listened, I thought to myself, “His childhood sounds so much like my own. Why does it seem like he is telling my story instead of his own?” I listened even closer. He talked about how as a child, he felt so much shame; I felt that shame. He talked about how he did “male things” in school to keep others from calling him a sissy or gay; I did those “male things” to keep others from calling me gay. He talked about how afraid he was of God hating him; I felt that fear, and I knew about that hate. As I listened to Eric weave the story of his life through his tears, I could not help but remember parts of my own life, when I too felt caught between my own feelings and what others expected me to be. When I was very young, I remember loving to go to the grocery store with my mom. I enjoyed helping to choose what foods we would eat, just as long as I could stop by the small toy section so I could see what was offered. This one time, I eyed a special toy. It was not a race car or army toy that most of the little boys like me always picked. I spied a Holly Hobby play set and I wanted it. It had a dozen different activities that could be played by oneself or with a friend. What would I do, though? It was in the little girls’ section and I was so scared that my mom would be disappointed in me for picking the “wrong” toy. First, I stood there, clutching it under my arm. Then I ran around the corner and just asked if I could have it. She looked it over, said, “Okay,” and put it in the cart. I even remember the cashier commenting about it and my mom responding, “It’s for my son, he can carry it.” Still nervous when I got home, I ran into my play space hidden from all adult view behind a pile of boxes. In that one safe space, I played with Holly Hobby, but always alone, never with a friend. Fitting In—Not! Eric mentioned how he seemed to get along with so many more women than men. Again I connected with his feelings. In elementary school, each year I had a best friend that was a girl. Never wanting to go to the far end of the playground where the boys played soccer, we stayed where the girls played foursquare and make-believe. Those were some of the best times I had with friends—until the fifth grade. When we advanced to new schools for the fifth grade, it became a wellknown fact that girls and boys should not play together. I did not want to lose my friends, but who was I to convince everyone to disobey the unwritten rules. I remained stuck between the boys and the girls. I did not want to play with the boys and the girls did not want to play with me. High school seemed worse. I was tired of not fitting in with either the boys or the girls. My solution was to join the most masculine-based activity I could find, only to affirm how much I did not belong there. On the football team I gained an instant identification with a male group and I could wear my jersey to prove it. Silently, though, I knew that I did not fit in. Weightlifting was not done for muscles or the football team as much as it was to build up my chest. Secretly, I wanted to join the cheerleaders instead. Admitting What I Wanted As Eric continued talking, I realized that the similarities between our stories did not lead to similar identities. Eric is gay; I am not. I struggled within myself thinking, “I know I am not gay, but why does his story parallel my own?” My insides hurt. “Why was I connecting with his story? Why would my life match a gay man’s? I know I am not gay because I love women. In fact, I love women so much, I’ve always wanted— to be one.” For the first time in my life, I admitted to myself what I have always wanted. After I admitted this deep secret, more memories flooded back. I remembered standing in a shower, crying to God, pounding on the tile, asking why I was born a boy. I remembered dressing up to be a lady until I was too afraid of being caught. I remembered trying to push God out of my play space because I was so afraid of God watching me and I was so ashamed of wanting to be a girl and Fall 1996 25 not a boy. I remembered thinking that I must be perverted for wanting to love a woman as only a woman could. I remembered spending my whole life hating who I am and hating God not only for making me a man, but also for not liking me because I wanted to be a woman. Beginning my New Story After Eric finished his story, and after I accepted the story I own, I began a new story for myself. I would no longer live a life of self-deceit. I would no longer accept the shame and guilt that I secretly carried with me. To begin, I would tell my friends who I am. With these friends, I used the label “lesbian” until I found more appropriate words to use: transsexual and transgendered. This process of accepting a label was very important to me. Having a label allowed me to claim a connection with others who share my experience so that I would not feel as alone as I have always felt. Having a label allowed me to take some pride in what has always embarrassed me. My sacred story tells me that God did not make a mistake at my birth. Though my religion usually regards pride as sinful and destructive, I now realize that my lack of pride has been the root of my lifelong separation from God. Since I could not accept myself, I was not ever able to believe that God could accept me and love me. Consequently, this coming out process has not only helped me to find myself, but also to find God. Coming out to God was difficult, but I eventually told God everything. It was similar to a confession, but I did not see a need for penitence or repentance. It was more like I had come home from being gone for so long, or like I had been a lost coin that was just found. I could celebrate with God, as if I heard, “My precious child, you have finally believed what I have known for so long. You are my creation and you are good. Yes, I know you are a transsexual and I love you.” For the first time, I could live in the love of God without expecting judgment or criticism. It was the first time with God that I did not have to either pretend I was someone other than who I am, try to earn God’s love and attention, or push God out of my space. Believing that God could make me who I am and call me good gave me encouragement to believe in myself. For me, believing in myself meant learning to love myself as a transsexual. I spent many years of my past trying to be “a man” while hating the woman inside of me. I do not now want to try to be “a woman” and hate the masculine parts of me. So, I am trying to love all of me, the parts that are woman, the parts that are man, and the transsexual that they make together. Claiming my Ministry I was telling this story—my story—to a good friend, but she did not understand. She asked me, “What does it matter?” At the time, I could not answer her question, but now I know. Going through the ordination process, I realized that my ministry is about who God made me to be. My ministry is about my sacred story. If I am to empower laity to give the testimony of their own sacred story, I must be true to my sacred story. If I am to preach of God’s love, I need to believe in God’s love. If I am to join in the liberation of the oppressed and the sick, I must act in liberating my sacred story from the chains that have bound it. My sacred story tells me that God did not make a mistake at my birth. My sacred story tells me that I do not have a psychological problem that needs to be solved. My sacred story tells me that God did not hate me for all these years, but just the opposite: I am a child of God and I am a transsexual. ▼ Tony Ryan is the pen name of an ordained pastor who says “I understand that it would be best not to include my name in this issue. However, I also know that much of the content of my article contradicts the idea of anonymity.” This dilemma is the reality Tony lives. TG/TS Organizations and Publications American Educatonal Gender Information Service (AEGIS), P.O. Box 33724, Decatur, GA 30333. 404/939-0244. General information on transgenderism. Publishes pamphlets, maintains library and archives, staffs a helpline. Also publishes Chrysalis Quarterly, a magazine on transgendered issues. FTM International, 5337 College Avenue, #142, Oakland, CA 94618. The leading support and education organizaiton for female- to-male transsexuals. In Your Face: the journal of political activism against gender oppression, 274 W. 11th, #4R, New York, NY 10014. 212/645- 1753.Twice yearly. Copies/subscriptions available. Creator/author Riki Anne Wilchins. Edited/published by Nancy Nangeroni, Ninja Design, Cambridge, MA. International Federation for Gender Education (IFGE), P.O. Box 367, Wayland, MA 01778. 617/899-2212. An educational and service organization. Publishes catalogue of books and pamphlets on transgendered issues. Many books listed on page 29 can be obtained from them. Publishes Transgender Tapestry, a quarterly national magazine. Outreach Institute, 126 Western Avenue, #246, Augusta, ME 04330. 207/621-0858. Mainly for mental health professionals. A source of research information packets. PFLAG, 1101 14th Street, NW, Suite 1030, Washington, DC 20005. 202/638-4200. Publishes a Transgender Resource Packet and has contact person available to help. Renaissance Education Association, Inc., P.O. Box 60552, King of Prussia, PA 19406. 610/630-1437. Has support chapters in several states, operates a speakers’ bureau, holds information meetings for non-transgendered people. The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Inc., 1515 El Camino real, Palo Alto, CA 94306. 415/326-4645. The Standards of Care are available from this group. The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess), P.O. Box 194, Tulare, CA 93275. Has twentysix chapters serving male heterosexual crossdressers, but is inclusive of family and friends. The Transexual Menace, 274 W. 11th, #4R, New York, NY 10014. 212/645-1753. A loosely structured direct action “organization” with chapters nationwide. Founded by Riki Anne Wilchins. 26 Open Hands life while growing up, but God was with me every step of the way and gave me the necessary strength to eventually accept myself as an intrinsically valuable transgendered person. (And please understand— I’m quite aware that I’m not valuable or worthwhile because of who I am, but because of Whose I am.). It took many years for me to reach an understanding that God loves me just because I’m me. Despite society’s lack of comprehension regarding the lives and complex issues of transgendered persons, I don’t need to become anything other than myself in order to have a full, rich relationship with Jesus Christ. I know beyond any doubt that God accepts me as a transgendered Christian, skirts and all, and I am humbled by the inclusive grace that has been offered to me through the precious blood of Jesus, my Savior. I’m blessed to have a spouse who loves, supports, and respects me enough not to hinder my individual method of crossgender expression. My daughter and my mother both know about my crossdressing and are very supportive of me. I’m quite aware that I’m in an extremely fortunate position when compared to the personal situations of many other transgendered persons. I have heard and seen many horror stories of rejection and ostracism by spouses, families, friends, and/or society in general. It breaks my heart to know that many of my transgendered sisters and brothers have been denied the right to a happy and productive life simply because of who they are. Transgendered Connections My spouse and I have belonged to a local crossgender community organization since 1988. I remember the first time I attended a meeting of that organization while dressed as my feminine self. I’d never been out of my house when dressed as a woman before and I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous about anything in my life! (If you don’t think it takes courage to do something like that, then I invite any male reading this to walk down the main street of your town while wearing women’s clothing and attempting to “pass” as a woman in public. I can practically guarantee that you’ll quickly gain a new respect for the intestinal fortitude it took to undertake such an endeavor for the first By Vanessa S. I am a forty-six-year-old biological male who is heterosexual and happily married to a loving, accepting Christian spouse. I’m a father, a grandfather, a Christian, and a proud maleto- female crossdresser. I don’t claim to have all the answers to the existential questions of the universe, but I do know one thing for certain: being transgendered is not a curse—it’s a blessing. Being transgendered and Christian is a double blessing. Formative Years Even in my formative years I knew instinctively that I was somehow “different” from other boys. I enjoyed my masculinity (and still do; I have no desire to lose it) but I also felt and experienced a strong internal feminine component, one that inexplicably seemed to demand expression through the medium of crossdressing. I soon learned to hide that difference, because I knew other people wouldn’t easily understand or accept that sort of behavior from me. Our society is quick to teach people like me: “You’re different—be ashamed.” However, I was always aware of the active presence of God in my life despite the culturally instilled gender negativity that I internalized at that early age. My relationship with Jesus Christ has been, and continues to be, the foundation for everything that I am or ever will be. It was not easy being essentially forced to carry a secret and live a double Fall 1996 27 time!) I must have remained sitting in my car for at least twenty minutes just waiting for the butterflies in my stomach to subside. However, once I entered the meeting itself, I quickly discovered the genuine warmth of friendship and acceptance that came from being with others who shared my interest in feminine clothing and behavior. There is an amazing, and even rather mystifying, sense of pride and empowerment that occurs when I’m in a room where being a male in a dress is considered the norm rather than the exception. For me, it’s a lot like “coming home.” Since those early days I have become involved in educational presentations on behalf of the transgender community, facilitated counseling/therapy groups for transgendered persons, and written on crossdressing and Christianity. Spiritual Direction Throughout my life, the one constant I’ve experienced has been the overwhelming love of God through Christ Jesus. I was raised in a fundamentalist Southern Baptist home (not the most promising environment for a young crossdresser, I can assure you!) and was heavily grounded in a biblical-literalist approach to scriptural interpretation. This, of course, ran completely counter to my growing awareness of the internal transgender desires that were making their presence heavily felt in my life. I found myself increasingly at odds with my religious milieu. It wasn’t until I reached my mid-thirties, however, that I actively began to seek out a genuine relationship with God, one not predicated on the often-formulaic rigidity of man-made religion, but instead rooted in a loving, personal, and dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ. This new spiritual insight allowed me to begin experiencing a period of growth unlike anything I’d known before. To this day I find myself continually amazed at the depth and richness that life lived in authentic relationship with Jesus has to offer. It would be counterproductive for me to spend time and/or waste energy bashing or belittling the institutional Christian church and its traditionally negative attitudes toward various sexual and/or gender minorities. I’m concerned with building bridges rather than walls between people and communities, and I want to state unequivocally that I love the church of Jesus Christ with all my heart. It’s my spiritual heritage, for better or worse, and I can’t seem to walk away from that (no matter how much I may have wanted to do so at various times in my life). Instead, I believe God is calling me—and, indeed, all of us— to help bring about a genuine transformation of the church, a transformation based upon love, mutual respect, acceptance, compassion, and inclusion for all who would be a part of the body of Christ. Inclusive Witness I strongly believe it is time for Christians who are transgendered to recognize the freedom that is to be found in Christ Jesus: the freedom to be who and what we are, to fully express our transgendered selves in grateful relationship with a loving God, and to assume our rightful, equal place within the Body of Christ. The spirits of transgendered persons have been eternally liberated through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and I believe we do our God a disservice when we fail to live our lives as the authentic, healthy transgendered individuals we were created to be. Yes, we are “different”—not necessarily bad or intrinsically evil—only different. We are also gifted in ways that can allow us to more fully discern, appreciate, and then express the intricacies of human nature, the complexities within ourselves, and the accepting nature of the God who created us in love and for love. Our outer appearance, our clothing and adornment, or our gender-based demeanor should have no bearing whatsoever on our status as persons who desire a relationship with our Creator and with our spiritual heritage, the church of Jesus Christ. Those of us who lead differently gendered lives are in a unique position to teach (as well as learn from) others about the transcendent, powerful, and life-changing love of God. We are living, tangible proof of the absolute delight God takes in diversity, and in humankind as an expression of that diversity, and as such we are truly blessed. I pray for the day when the Christian church will see the wisdom in ensuring the equality of transgendered persons, first as human beings and then as sisters and brothers in Christ Jesus. On that day the Body of Christ will have actively demonstrated the triumph of God’s inclusive and all-encompassing love over the forces of ignorance and exclusion.▼ Vanessa S. lives in the midwest with her spouse and their son. She is heavily involved in music ministry within the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and in local/national transgender educational outreach and activism. She is also the author of The Cross and the Crossdresser: Personal Reflections on Crossdressing from a Christian Perspective, and Cross Purposes: On Being Christian and Crossgendered. Bornstein Reflects “The reality of being a transgendered individual goes way beyond just being born in the wrong body. Rather, it reflects a deeper dissatisfaction with the bipolar gender system, the culturally constructed imperative to be either man or woman. Transgendered people blur traditional definitions of gender and flout established gender rules. The first wave of feminists in the 1960s transgressed a basic rule of gender when they began working outside the home. Gays and lesbians transgressed another when they loved each other openly. Now this third wave, the transgendered movement itself, embraces choice, fluidity even, of gender. You no longer are locked into being male or female; you can be either or neither, whenever and wherever you choose. It’s that simple, and that complicated.” —Kate Bornstein Source Heather M. Little, “Bornstein Again,” Chicago Tribune, 10 September 1995. 28 Open Hands This liturgy was created by Karen P. Oliveto, pastor of Bethany United Methodist Church, a reconciling congregation in Berkeley, California. It may be reproduced for religious renaming events without further permission. ___: I am (new name). One: You have known the waters of baptism, when you were claimed as God’s own. Today, we again use water, as a reminder to you that God continues to claim you and sustain you. May these waters refresh and renew you in your journey of faith. (New name) cups hands over a basin while water is poured from a pitcher. (New name) draws this water to his/her lips. One: (New name), you are God’s beloved child. May you continue to be a faithful follower of Jesus, glorifying God through all that you do and all that you are. My friends, I present to you (new name). Congregational Response: (New name), we rejoice with you for all that God has done for you, and for all that has yet to be revealed. As your sisters and brothers, we pledge to walk with you, as you will walk with us. Together we shall drink water from the well of life. May the life and ministry we share always reflect the love of God, which calls us all to wholeness. Hymn Response: “Hymn of Promise” by Natalie Sleeth, 1986. Scripture: Revelation 21:1-6 One: Dearly beloved, as a people of faith, we know that God continues to shape and mold us in our growth, inviting us to claim for ourselves the people who God created us to be. Each new day is an opportunity to live more fully the promise of who we are. Throughout history, individuals, as they have claimed their unique personhood more fully, have been given a new name, a testimony of their faithfulness. All: Abram was renamed Abraham One: Sarai was renamed Sarah All: Simon was renamed Peter One: Saul was renamed Paul. All: We know that renaming is an important way to reflect our new nature found in Christ. One: Today, a child of God comes forward in an important renaming. It has not been an easy journey, yet we know that the road of faith is not an easy one. We have been asked to witness this renaming and become companions for the journey. My friend, throughout your life you have been known as (former name). The Holy Spirit, however, continued to call forth within you something more. Today, you stand before us, your life a testimony to the God who makes all things new. What name do you choose for yourself? “I Am” A Liturgy of Re-Naming for Transgender Persons Sustaining the Spirit Fall 1996 29 Selected Resources Sexuality and Gender Bauerlein, Monika. “The Unkindest Cut.” Utne Reader (September/ October 1996), p. 16. Compares surgery done on intersexual infants in the U.S. to female genital mutiliation in Third World countries—and raises question about why feminists aren’t upset about what’s going on in the U.S. Bolin, Anne. In Search of Eve: Transsexual Rites of Passage. South Hadley, MA: Bergin and Garvey, 1988. This anthropologist wants to see transsexuals legitimated as a sexual minority rather than being defined as mentally ill. Bullough, Vern L. and Bonnie. Cross Dressing, Sex, and Gender. University of Pennsylvania Press, 1993. Thirty years of research into gender impersonation and crossdressing culminate in the most complete survey available of crossdressing and gender impersonation throughout history and in various cultures. Also examines the medical, biological, psychological, and sociological findings that have been presented in modern scientific literature. Burke, Phyllis. GenderShock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female. New York: Doubleday Anchor, 1996. Combining investigative journalism, personal stories, and cultural criticism, this book explodes myths about our rigid gender system by looking through three lenses of gender identity: behavior, appearance, and science. Includes case histories of young persons abused because of their gender. Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990. “A brilliant (if nearly impenetrable) exposition of the production of identity, the binaries of sex, gender, and desire, and the role of language in creating and regulating roles.”—Nancy Nangeroni. Fausto-Sterling, Anne. “The Five Sexes.” The Sciences (March/April 1993), pp. 20-24. This developmental geneticist and professor of medical science at Brown University argues that a continuum of at least five sexes exists. Good introduction to biological realities. Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come. New York: World View Forum, 1992. A Marxist view of when and why transgender oppression arose. Herdt, Gilbert, ed. Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History. New York: Zone, 1994. These essays explore the different cultural definitions of a third sex or gender, assembling historical and anthropological studies, challenging the usual emphasis on sexual dimorphism and reproduction,providing a unique perspective on the various forms of socialization of people who are neither “male” nor “female.” Hausman, Bernice L. Transsexualism, Technology, and the Idea of Gender. Durham: Duke University Press, 1995. Traces history of changes in concepts, treatments, and terminology around cross-sex and cross-gender phenomena. Argues that endocrinological and surgical advances enabled emergence of transsexualism. Also argues that “gender” produces “sex,” not vice versa. Hawley, John Stratton, ed. Fundamentalism and Gender. New York: Oxford University Press, 1994. Gender, not the Bible, is a key element in understanding fundamentalism. It’s about keeping women in their proper place. A global look. Kessler, Suzanne J. and Wendy McKenna. Gender: An Ethnomethodological Approach. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1985. Analyzes the social and physcial science construction of gender, using transsexualism as a control. Includes several personal stories. Money, John. Gendermaps: Social Constructionism, Feminism, and Sexosophical History. New York: Continuum, 1995. Well-known Johns Hopkins psychologist/sexologist blends biological and psychological insights. Read in relation to Raymond. Raymond, Janice G. The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the She-Male. New York: Columbia University Teachers College Press, 1994. First published in 1979 by Beacon. Charges that transsexualism is the product of society’s gender role sterotyping and is perpetuated by a self-serving medical sex change industry. See esp. the new introduction. Rothblatt, Martine. Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender. New York: Routledge, 1989. “A fascinating challenge to everything I once ‘knew’ to be the case about gender.”— Mary Hunt. Rubin, Henry S. “Do You Believe in Gender?” Sojourner: The Woman’s Forum (February 1996), pp. 7-8. Rubin, a FTM transsexual, explores the tension that sometimes exists between the transgender and transsexual communities in their understandings of gender. TS/TG Stories and Reflections Bornstein, Kate. Gender Outlaw. New York/London: Routledge, 1994. Author combines personal story and analysis, advocates deconstruction of gender. Feinberg, Leslie. Stone Butch Blues. New York: Firebrand, 1993. A powerful and provocative novel presents the life of a person not clearly man or woman, who comes out as butch lesbian then learns to pass as a man in order to survive. Eloquently presents the complexities of being a transgendered person in a world demanding simple explanations. This book brought out the FTM community. Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul. Boston: Beacon, 1996. Blends personal experience with an historical survey of transgenderism—from cooperative to competitive societies and the onset of transgender repression. Closes with a political imperative. S., Vanessa. The Cross and the Crossdresser. King of Prussia, PA: Creative Design Services, 1993. Personal reflections on crossdressing from a Christian perspective. Von Mahlsdorf, Charlotte. I Am My Own Woman. Trans. by Jean Hollander. Pittsburgh: Cleis, 1995. Subtitle says it: The outlaw life of Charlotte Von Mahlsdorf, Berlin’s most distinguished transvestite. 30 Open Hands Movement News More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance MORE LIGHT Christ Presbyterian Church Telluride, Colorado Telluride is an old mining town at nine thousand feet in the Colorado Rockies. Having been a home for members of the “counter culture” in the late sixties, the town of fifteen hundred has more recently become an affluent resort and vacation home community. Christ Presbyterian Church embraces the economic and cultural diversity of the town. Over the years, it has been both a Community and a Congregational Church. Some of its 90 members have been in the community for years, others are new, or part-time residents. In the process of looking for new pastoral leadership, the Session voted to become a More Light Church in order to convey the spirit of the congregation to prospective candidates. Community UCC Boulder, Colorado Located in the foothills of the Rockies, this “high creativity/ low bureaucracy” congregation of 60 adults and 30 children is committed to intergenerational programming and hands-on mission. One of its primary goals is to serve area youth through vibrant programs at the church and in the community. The congregation supports the UMHE chaplain at the University of Colorado at Boulder and the church’s pastor works with the YWCA “Edge” program, designed to enhance the development of girls through education and esteem. Members of the gay and lesbian community are active at the church, which also offers the hospitality of its building to a new congregation of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). OPEN AND AFFIRMING Faith UCC Dayton, Ohio Some 100 members “from all walks of life” make up this active congregation which is a consolidation of Riverdale Congregational Church and Hale UCC. Inspired by a vision of “welcoming all who would come,” the church offers a wide variety of activities, including a computer program for children, diversity training, and classes in self-esteem. At the center of the church’s life is evangelism, including outreach to the lesbian, gay, bisexual community. As one of the few Dayton area churches which publicly welcomes g/l/b people, the church makes use of TV advertising to make this invitation clear. The pastor is engaged in counseling with same-gender couples desiring blessing ceremonies and has officiated at several. First Congregational Church Fresno, California This congregation of 500 members offers strong education, dynamic music, and an Open and Affirming spirit in the midst of an intensely fundamentalist region of California. It serves the diverse neighborhoods around it which include a mix of artists, affluent professional people, and young families. As the church celebrates its 50th anniversary, a capital restoration project is underway to enable the church to renew its commitment to ministry with the community. The congregation hosts a gay/lesbian Al-Anon group, a Lesbian Support Group, and its ONA Task Force continues to help develop this aspect of the church’s life. Old First Reformed Church, UCC Philadelphia, Pennsylvania This is an historic congregation of the Reformed tradition located in the historic section of the city, just three blocks from the Liberty Bell. With some 260 members (and growing), the church engages in a variety of ministries including outreach to the homeless community and year round urban work camps for youth from around the country. With great excitement, church members exceeded their recent capital campaign goal of $385,000, raising $450,000 for building renewal and expansion. The church is also looking at ways to better address the particular needs and interests of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, and persons (of all sexual orientations) who are young singles or in families with children. Somesville Union Meeting House Mt. Desert, Maine The first congregation to be listed as ONA in the Maine Conference, Somesville is a very active church of 75 members. They express their commitment to the community in many ways, including participation in a mentoring program with grade school and high school students who need additional assistance and support either in the classroom setting or oneto- one. An on-going ONA Task Group visits other churches in Maine to share the church’s ONA story. In addition, the church hosts events related to the Maine “Speak Out Project” which provides training for gay and straight persons who wish to be available to talk with groups interested in gay, lesbian, bisexual, and issues and experiences. Fall 1996 31 Epworth United Methodist Church Berkeley, California This church of 300 members is located in an upper-middleclass residential neighborhood in north Berkeley. Epworth was formed by the merger of two churches in the 1950s and constructed its current building in the 1960s. The congregation has a strong tradition of openness, acceptance, and caring, and a ministry of outreach to the community and world. A strong music ministry is at the heart of the congregation’s life, with a bell choir and children’s and adult choirs. The arrival of a new pastor this past summer has propelled explorations of new opportunities for ministry. First United Methodist Church Bellevue, Washington Less than fifty years old, in a fast-growing suburb/city adjacent to Seattle, this congregation has an average attendance of 265 in two services. They are in the midst of a major campaign for a pipe organ, to be installed late in the summer of 1997. Community work includes hosting a chapter of PFLAG and building a new home through Habitat for Humanity. A long period of education and discussion preceded the no-dissent administrative board vote in 1995 to become a Reconciling Congregation. Bellevue First is currently in the process of revamping its decision-making structure with an eye toward less bureaucracy and more personal choice about ministry. Williamston United Methodist Church Williamston, Michigan This 245-member congregation, ten miles from Lansing, carries on a wide array of programs including dynamic music and Christian education programs for all ages, Stephen Ministry, spiritual life retreats, and a Chicago Urban Ministry Experience in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity. A strong Disciple Bible study program was the impetus for beginning discussion of becoming a Reconciling Congregation several years ago. Negative local publicity about the congregation’s outreach to lesbian and gay persons led to a large number of members leaving in 1992-93. The congregation is moving forward in its process of healing and rebuilding and decided to become a Reconciling Congregation in May 1996. Williamston celebrates its centennial this year. RECONCILING WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. 32 Open Hands If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Ecumenical Leaders Meet The leaders of the “welcoming church” programs in different denominations gathered in Chicago for an annual time of sharing and planning in late September. The upbeat mood of the gathering reflected the continued strong growth of our ecumenical movement. The More Light (Presbyterian), Open & Affirming (Disciples), Open and Affirming (UCC), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Reconciling (United Methodist), Supportive (Brethren/ Mennonite), Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) programs were represented at the meeting. For the first time, a representative of the newly-formed Affirming Congregation Program in the United Church of Canada participated. Plans were finalized for the publication of the new curriculum on the Bible and homosexuality in January 1997. As the most broadly-based ecumenical project ever undertaken in our movement, Claiming the Promise will be a breakthrough both ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR Charge $ _______ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card ____________________________________________________ Signature ________________________________________________________ My Name ________________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church _____________________________________________________ Denomination _____________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475 Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Plan Now for Winter or Spring Study Claiming the Promise Groundbreaking New Bible Study Curriculum on Homosexuality ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are children or heirs of God. ▼ Discusses “gracious hospitality” and “gift-ed sexuality.” ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. For more information call: Reconciling Congregation Program 773/736-5526 or contact your welcoming program Call for Articles for Summer 1997 Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! Theme will seek to encourage and enable youth and their leaders to create a welcoming environment in the church for all youth discovering their sexual identities. Looking for: stories, poetry, reflections by youth under 21; counseling/pastoral reflections by pastors/ youth leaders; and specific programming ideas on sexual identities/inclusion issues. Write or call with idea: February 1 Manuscript deadline: May 1 as an excellent study resource and also for its promise of future ecumenical ventures. The program leaders designated January 26, 1997 as Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday when churches in all traditions are invited to celebrate their “welcoming” status and their solidarity with more than 650 other churches in our growing movement across the U.S. In addition, plans were initiated for the production of a “welcoming” worship and music resource in 1997 as well as beginning work on a massive ecumenical welcoming church gathering in 2000. Finally, meeting with the Open Hands Advisory Committee, the movement leaders selected four new themes for the magazine (to run in 1997-98): Sexual Ethics, Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here!, You’re Welcoming: Now What?, and Bisexuality. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 2 - Transgender Realities https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0cf25f1986af1788f4d0192ea6c3bc15.pdf 0260ae089eb158b7a231d1fbae8e4261 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 12 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 12 No. 1 Summer 1996 2 Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 1 Summer 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality AIRING OUT CLOSETS LOOKING CLOSER What Is a Closet? 4 TIMOTHY TUTT A “walk-in” becomes a “storeroom.” Peeking Out 6 GAYE JANESDAUGHTER Coming out is a long process, influenced by others. Coming Out! 7 ERWIN C. BARRON That dancing figure for Coming Out Day scares us! Trouble Behind the Door 8 LEANNE M. TIGERT Closets cause spiritual and psychological violence. SEEING BOTH SIDES Closeted Mom: A Sign of Respect 10 ANONYMOUS This mom wants to be more “out” than her gay son. Confession: A Male – Age 80 – 1996 12 WILLIAM N. WINGSTROM No one pushed him. No one encouraged him. Reconciling Janet 13 JANET JACOBS HUEBSCH She lost contact with her best friend but a welcoming church brought forth a special kind of reconciliation. A Married Gay Pastor Stays In 14 JACOB GUERDON BLACK Four dilemmas confront this pastor. A Father’s Legacy 15 SARA DAVIES A college student reflects on her journey with her Dad. Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 (New area code as of Oct. 12: 773) Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Summer 1996 3 SWINGING OPEN God’s Promise 16 RANDY HOUSTON A double coming out—as gay and as HIV+—sets him free. God’s Coming Out...In a New Reformation! 18 GEORGE D. MCCLAIN Where we’ve been and where we’re headed. Working as Allies: Opening Church Doors 20 BETTY JO BIRKHAHN-ROMMELFANGER Pastor/local church ally with gay men and lesbians. Allies Inside Closed Doors 22 PAUL SANTILLÁN Leaders have permission to break locks, take off hinges. Breaking Silence 23 BARBARA MCFADDEN A straight spouse comes out. Airing Out Spouses’ Closets 24 DONALD W. SINCLAIR A pastor in PFLAG starts a straight spouses’ group. Tips 26 ANITA C. HILL AND SUSAN L. THORTON Someone has come out in your congregation—now what? You want to come out to a search committee—how? SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT “Amazing Grace” (New Words) 27 JUDY FJELL Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Mark Schnaderbeck Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 773/736-5526 (Oct. 12) Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (Lutheran) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-9615 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Next Issue: Gender Realities Transgender and Transsexual Stories ASIDES In ............................................ 5 S. WARD Out ......................................... 5 STINA POPE In Exchange for Silence ......... 11 KAREN A. MCCLINTOCK Loving Faithfully .................... 12 RITA NAKASHIMA BROCK Out ....................................... 15 KAREN A. MCCLINTOCK No Outing/No Silencing! ...... 17 MARTHA L. OLNEY Opening Spousal Closets ...... 23 RESOURCES Family Closets ....................... 24 MITZI HENDERSON Straight Spouses Need .......... 25 PFLAG/HOUSTON SELECTED RESOURCES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 29 4 Open Hands It’s a simple question. What is a closet? As a third grade teacher, I can imagine the answers I would get if I were to ask my students. “It’s where you put your clothes.” “It’s where I stuff things when I have to clean my room.” “My closet is the messiest room in the house!” “I hide things there so nobody will ever find them!” “Yeah, I keep things from my nosy brother and sister in my closet!” After hearing all those responses, the teacher in me would have said, “Well, those are all wonderful thoughts, and thanks so much for being open enough to share them with all of us!” General Dimensions Now, I have some questions for us to ponder: What is a closet for the lesbian, gay, transgendered, or bisexual person? What is a closet for their friends and family? What is a closet for a church congregation? I suggest that the answers to these questions are nearly the same as the children might give. “It’s where things are put that aren’t needed for the moment.” “It’s where things are quickly stashed when someone demands ‘cleaning up’.” “It can also be a cluttered place.” “Some might even want to ‘clean’ it for you...” “Things are hidden there for no one to see.” “Things are hidden there in fear of others who might be overly ‘curious’.” Almost every dwelling has some sort of closet—and many of us and our churches have them too. Personal “Walk-In” I started building my closet nearly thirty years ago as a four-year-old, sitting on a porch with my God-fearing grandmother in Kentucky, when I mentioned that I loved my best friend, Greg. “You can’t do that,” she responded. “But you said that God wants us to love everybody...” “This is different. You’re not supposed to love other boys.” From that point on, my closet became so big and cared for that I even chose to live in it. As I grew up, I was strengthened (and callused) from racial By Timothy Tutt Summer 1996 5 experiences and I learned to create a voice as a black male in a predominately white Iowan society. Yet, at the same time, I was weakened from hearing “sissy” and “homo” at school and in the neighborhood. Just hearing those words instilled fear in me, even if they were directed at someone else. I was also weakened from hearing at church, time and time again, about the fire and brimstone that awaited homosexuals, and from listening to some of the youth from my church brag about going downtown to “save queers”— which amounted to driving by and shouting barbs as they passed by. I was weakened by my mother’s longing desire for her only son to marry (a woman) and bear her grandchildren. During all of this, I knew that I had homosexual thoughts and feelings but I also figured that, if I stored them in my huge, “walk-in” closet, they would either be forgotten or the heterosexual “moths” that I was trying to gather would gnaw away at them until those thoughts and feelings withered away. Then I had another problem—my closet was getting full. In the summer of 1985, I decided that instead of ripping out more of myself to create additional closet space, I could put some of the many items that I stored there to good use. That’s when I became strengthened (and callused) from experiences dealing with sexual orientation and I learned to create a voice as a gay black male in a predominately straight white Iowan society. I also found a new church home after hearing that The United Church of Christ had just passed a resolution affirming gay and lesbian people at their synod nearby in Ames. I wanted to attend a church where I could freely worship God in the sanctuary, not the closet. Today, my closet is a room where I store things at certain times. I’m fortunate to teach in a district that includes “sexual orientation” in its fairness policy. I attend an Open and Affirming church. (And I’m proud to have played a small role in creating both of those environments.) While my pride and selfesteem are pretty good, I still feel the need to use my closet to store those personal things when I do not feel it is safe to have them on display. For example, at times my openness and concern—especially for youth—is construed by some as intimidation and “recruitment.” I also use my closet when I sense that my primary concerns will get lost in the clouds of someone else’s misunderstanding. Yes, I have a closet. However, I refuse to go back to the days when my closet was a place of residence and denial. I am an “open and out” gay man. I have spoken to hundreds in panel discussions. I have been interviewed and pictured in newspapers after marching in pride parades. I have set up tables for the United Church Coalition of Lesbian/ Gay Concerns at the annual state meeting of the United Church of Christ and have spoken at general sessions and workshops there. My friendships are defined by the openness I am allowed to display. If I sense discomfort about my sexual orientation (or any other aspect of my life, for that matter) from another person that I’m getting know, that person will be nothing more than an “acquaintance” or “colleague.” In ...I lived in a room where I had no perception of any windows or doors. For most of my life, I had no sense that there was anything outside of the room. Much of the time I was quite content, or so I thought. I was able to be relatively productive and I had friends who lived with me in the room. We would sometimes remark that we were so happy to be in the room together. Wasn’t life grand here. It was wonderful... and yet, it wasn’t.... Sometimes I would dream... colors... flashes of light... nothing that really made sense... a crazy notion would come that there was something more or different than life in this room.... —S. Ward From “Living Between the Times” Unpublished article © 1991 Individualized Rooms So what is a closet? To me, a closet is a room of personal convenience, storage, and safety, not only for our valuables, but for our valuable selves. However, the meaning of “closet” is as personal and individualized as all of us. In this issue, people will share their experiences of how “the closet” has played a role in their individual and congregational lives. To these writers, the thirdgrade teacher once again responds, “Well, those are all wonderful thoughts, and thanks so much for being open enough to share them with all of us!” ▼ Timothy Tutt is a member of the Coalition Council for the United Church Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Concerns of The United Church of Christ. He resides in Des Moines, Iowa, where he teaches third grade and attends Plymouth Congregational, an ONA church. Out Why be out as pastor? I choose not to live in fear. I don’t have to worry about anyone outing me to my boss, congregation, or bishop. I don’t have to spend the energy to keep the closet door closed. I am free to rejoice about who I am. Which leads me to integrity. I value truth-telling. I understand falsehood as sin, sometimes necessary in our fallen world but always evil. Jesus told us that the truth would set us free. When I choose to “pass” as straight, I engage in falsehood, in evil. I do not value who and what I am. I buy in to the radical right’s claim that we are something that should not exist, at least not in the light. I claim the light. Stina Pope, M.Div., is the assistant for mission and evangelism at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Church in Atlanta, Georgia. 6 Open Hands When non-gays use the term “coming out of the closet,” it sounds like one step: someone was IN the closet and then she came OUT. Simple. And maybe it is that simple for some—but for most people I know, coming out is not a debutante ball that family and friends celebrate with you. It is a process that is as different and unique as the individuals involved. My own coming out has been a “peeking out of the closet” process. I am “out” to a few, not to many. I test the atmosphere before I dare to poke my head out. My first gay pride march in New York City emboldened me a bit. Then my next gay pride march in Washington, D.C. gave me more courage. Part of my hesitation has been my own timidity; part, in the past, was to respect the wishes of my young sons. Nowadays I need to protect my partner. I have been a single parent since 1974, the year my second son was born. I came Peekiing Outt By Gaye Janesdaughter When I started graduate social work school two years ago, I peeked out of the closet a bit more and formed the first lesbian and gay support group on the college campus. That was pretty out! Now, however, at my new job I’m still only out to some because my partner is known in the business community. To “out” her would seriously jeopardize her job. I was brought up by my grandmother who was the daughter of a Presbyterian minister. In church I was taught that Jesus was the “light of the world” which shone on all the darkness and brought forth the truth, the hope, and the healing in this world. May the light of Jesus shine in every dark and lonely gay closet and may each gay person feel free to come out when she or he is ready, in her or his own unique way. ▼ Gaye Janesdaughter is the pseudonym of a woman who wrote the poem “Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way” (see Open Hands, Winter 1996). She reports that the Episcopalian priest who inspired that poem in 1990 has, in 1996, welcomed her into his family as the godmother of his twin girls. A redemptive moment! out to myself in 1985 when my sons were eleven and twelve. They didn’t want me to be “out” in the community, fearing ridicule. Their fears were somewhat justified. When a fellow student’s sister appeared on Donahue as a lesbian, that student was ridiculed and harassed terribly in my sons’ school. When my kids were thirteen and fourteen, I met my present partner, whom they both liked and respected. My life changed dramatically in 1992 when my younger son died at age eighteen. Having lost a child has put life’s problems in a different perspective for me. I am no longer as timid about being out as I used to be. For instance, no one can scare me with threats of death. I’m happy to be alive, but since I have someone to see on the other side, I think I’ll be happy there, too. My older son, now twenty-three and a college graduate, says he would never even date a woman, much less marry her, if she didn’t accept my sexual orientation. Summer 1996 7 room within my soul that is shut off to the world and that I try desperately to keep God out of! We all have our closets of the soul that we don’t want some dancing fool opening up. All of us, gay and straight and everywhere in between, all of us...have one of those closets...that space that we keep closed to friends, closed even to spouses and partners, and especially closed to the church. And we try to close that space to God! So Haring’s cheery, little dancing idiot opening the closet door literally scares the hell out of me.... When I asked my Bible concordance about “coming out,” the computer went crazy, spitting out references. There are over a hundred of them! And they even come from good Hebrew and Greek concepts: yatza and exerchomai. They mean “to come out” and I was astonished at how often these words were used with genuine significance. In the Old Testament, the most frequent use of yatza is to describe the Israelites’ experience as they left the oppression and slavery of Egypt. In fact, the phrase is almost a chorus in several places. “Remember when you came out from Egypt.” What a very appropriate image for us. May God assist us too, as God helped the Israelites, to come out of the slavery and oppression of our Egypts. God wants us to come out of slavery and will help any way that God can. In one of the most tragic and poignant moments in the New Testament, Jesus faces the loss of his dear friend Lazarus. He goes up to the dark cold cave, full of the smell of death, where his friend is buried. With all the authority he can muster, through tears, he commands: Lazarus, COME OUT! You might think the words “come out,” as used in the Bible, take on a totally different meaning from the way we’re using them. But I don’t think so. I think God really does want us to open up that dark closet of our souls and come out. God celebrates what is in that closet— our sexuality. It is a good thing which should be out in the light! God does not want us to have to hide an important part of who we are. We are called by God to open up that closet door to the rest of our world. We are to dance in celebration like Haring’s little figure...and with God celebrating at our side, we are to come out! Amen! ▼ Source This article is excerpted from a sermon preached in PLGC worship, Presbytery of Twin Cities Area, on Presbyterian “Coming Out” Sunday, March 6, 1994, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Printed in More Light Update (October 1994), P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903. Haring’s drawing is used by permission of NCOD. Erwin C. Barron is a Presbyterian pastor in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Comiing Outt!! By Erwin C. Barron That little guy always terrified me! I know you’ve seen him—that little dancing figure in Keith Haring’s line drawing done for national “coming out” day. He or she (it could be either) is dancing merrily with one hand still hanging on inside as he or she steps out of a closet. It’s a great little drawing that speaks worlds about coming out. But the little guy always terrified me! It’s not so much the coming out, or the dancing, or any of that.... It’s that open closet door! What is lurking within that closet as this foolish little fellow stands there cheerily holding that door wide open? It’s not really homosexuality that is behind that door, although Lord knows, it’s a big part of that hidden darkness for the church. But that makes the closet door only an issue for a few of us. No, what’s so thoroughly sealed up in the closet is S-E-X. That’s how my father and mother talked about it. Sexuality was completely private, never talked about in the family, or in the general public, and especially not in church! S-E-X! We had better keep that stuff securely bolted up within the dark confines of our locked bedroom, and only within legal marriage, and better yet, only under the covers with the lights out, and only when absolutely necessary. That’s how I grew up. I have gotten better.... But I still have this dark little 8 Open Hands These are the dilemmas that people bring into my office as they struggle to deal with the painful choices of coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. As a self-identified lesbian certified pastoral counselor, I am struck with how gay, lesbian, and bisexual people really are like others. We don’t come out inside a vacuum. We bring our own histories, needs, scars, strengths, and gifts to the process. The significance of this occurred to me most recently while leading a psychotherapy group on self-esteem for gay/lesbian/bisexual people. Each member of this group was more closeted than he or she wanted to be. Each was recovering from painful and complicated family histories. Each person’s self-identity and esteem had been battered and bruised by family dynamics that had nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Nonetheless, the impact on their coming out was huge. In addition to the impact of their family dynamics, each was struggling with the effects of spiritual and psychological violence done to them by persons and church communities who were exhibiting homophobic behaviors. Spiritual Violence Once, during worship at Spirit of the Mountains Church, I read a selection from an article in the magazine, Alive Now. We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself.1 One man began to cry. He stated that he was beginning to believe that God really might love him, no matter what his family or the church of his childhood had said. The spiritual violence done to lesbian, gay, and bisexual souls may be the strongest of conspiracies that seek to keep us closeted. How can one be expected to confront the homophobic realities of the world if, at our spiritual core, we have internalized a message of shame and alienation from God? A gay man who had been previously married once told me that, when married, he loved church and went every Sunday. However, after he divorced and came out, he would get nauseous in worship and have to leave. Like Lazarus, these two gay men and others of us need a community of faith and a powerful and personal friendship “I am a lesbian. I got married to prove I was straight. I want to come out, but I have a thirteen- year-old daughter. My husband’s friends say things like, ‘They ought to put all the gay people on an island and blow it up’.” “I am a teacher. The principal at my school was fired a few years ago because she was a lesbian. I’m sick of pretending to be a single man, but I am afraid to lose my job or to face my family if I do.” “I am a survivor of incest. I have such low self-esteem. I don’t want to come out to anybody because I can’t face any more rejection.” By Leanne M. Tigert Summer 1996 9 with God in order to be released from the spiritual death in which homophobia seeks to encase us. Psychological Violence Closely related to this spiritual violence are the many psychological effects resulting from living within a homophobic society. Psychological theory states that we develop a sense of ourselves by how other people relate to us. Throughout life we continue to be motivated and informed by our relationships with others, often projecting onto others our own beliefs and fears. The effects of homophobic and sexist fears and beliefs projected onto us by others can be profound. For example, I recently spoke with a lesbian who is having emotional difficulties. She says, “I have become a pro at knowing and being what everyone else thinks I am and wants me to be, but I have no clue as to who I am or who I want to be.” Then she told me a story. At about age eleven she had been riding her bicycle down the road, with her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. She whizzed past a boy and his mother who commented (loudly enough for her to hear) that she looked like a boy. “It devastated me, it frightened me—I went into hiding and have never come out.” Homophobic projections do not need to be experienced in childhood to have devastating effects. Several years ago, a gay couple who were both very active members of the church I served asked to hold their covenant service in the sanctuary. Unfortunately, the deacons denied their request. A few months later, this couple broke up with very little investment in trying to stay together. I believe that they internalized the homophobic message from the diaconate: that same-gender relationships are not to be publicly affirmed and blessed by God. Often people carry shame for being closeted, as well as shame for being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. People cope in many ways, usually the best way they know how. Sometimes people cope in ways that hurt themselves— addictions, eating disorders, and other self-destructive behaviors. …someday we may all whiz down the street together, with our hair pulled back… Many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people with whom I work have experienced symptoms common to survivors of trauma: a sense of foreboding, hypervigilence, depression, and low selfesteem, among others.2 Such persons live in perpetual trauma, continuing to be victimized by homophobic comments and behaviors of other persons. The difference between “closeted” and being “out” is the difference between carrying the secret of the trauma and confronting the perpetrator(s). Congregational Support Church communities and pastors need to offer positive “out” role models and be welcoming, listening communities. In order to make healthy informed choices, people need to speak and be heard. The forty-five-year-old woman who spoke of being perceived as a boy at age eleven needed to tell her therapist, but this is only the beginning. She needs to speak and listen within a community that has had many such experiences and that can help her move through pain towards a spiritual and psychological wholeness. Who knows, someday we may all whiz down the street together, with our hair pulled back, enjoying that we are not defined or isolated by others’ beliefs and projections of gender and sexual orientation. ▼ Notes 1Alive Now (March/April 1996). 2From the DSM-IV, the manual for diagnosing psychological disorders. Leanne M. Tigert, D.Min., is an ordained UCC minister and fellow in the American Association of Pastoral Counselors. She practices psychotherapy at Womankind Counseling Center and is pastor of Spirit of the Mountains in Concord, New Hampshire. She is the author of Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Gays/Lesbians/Bisexuals in the Church. Passages to Homosexual Spiritual Maturity the passage into self-love the passage into love of each other the passage into public witness to God’s love for us. See Catholic theologians Evelyn and James Whitehead, Seasons of Strength: New Visions of Adult Christian Maturing (Image/Doubleday, 1986), ch. 4; also John McNeill, Freedom, Glorious Freedom: The Spiritual Journey to the Fullness of Life for Gays, Lesbians, and Everybody Else (Beacon, 1995), chs. 6-8. 10 Open Hands The phone rang near midnight one October evening in 1992. I knew it had to be our twenty-five-yearold son calling from Houston. Late night calls always meant another crisis in his continuing struggle to make it on his own in a strange city. No permanent job yet. Someone broke into his car. He and his roommate had another bitter argument. And always, money problems. I took a deep breath and asked, “How’s it going, son?” His voice was low as the litany of troubles began. His voice broke with tears and a long pause before he added, “And Mom, I’m gay.” He waited for me to respond. I’d been waiting for several years for him to tell me. My feelings and long-held questions rushed to fill the space. “I’m not surprised. I’ve been waiting for you to tell us. How long have you known? Why did you wait so long? Is your health all right?” I felt no shock, just relief that we could finally connect around an awareness I had had since he was a little boy. I had always known he was special; I just didn’t know his uniqueness had a label. I felt no shame, no guilt, just a rush of compassion for the deep sadness I heard in his voice. “You sound so lonely,” I said. I worried that he might be suicidal. “Can I call _____ (a gay minister/friend)?” “Yes, but don’t tell...”and he named his brother, relatives, close family friends. “This is nobody’s else’s business. You can only talk about it if someone asks you directly if I’m gay.” I hung up the phone and sighed. My son’s coming out to his father and me put us in the closet of privacy he had lived in for ten years. This may be the most painful act of love I have ever had to live. I am a teacher who helps people learn to open up to each other. I, who teach others to be honest and real, now had to learn to keep a secret. I, who easily share personal stories as a way of illustrating principles of human interaction, now had to close the door on one of the most effective teaching tools I knew. I had to choose between honoring my son’s strong sense of privacy and my own need to share my pride in having such a special son. His fear of being treated as a freak by people who had long respected him was my discovery that internalized homophobia runs deep for many gay people. In my speech and debate classes I listened to both sides of the arguments to support an amendment to the state constitution which would eliminate the right of homosexuals to protection against discrimination in employment and housing. I had to listen to the insults hurled at homosexuals by misinformed, fearful people and absorb the hurt on behalf of someone I love. I could not show them a picture of my tall handsome son to confront the stereotyped image of the “wimpy, limp-wristed, lisping fag” that some students find to be so revolting. I did not have permission to say to the old-timers in my church who reject making a public statement to welcome gays, lesbians and bisexuals, “Don’t you know that you have watched a boy grow up to be an Eagle Scout and he no longer feels welcome in your pews?” Church members wonder why I feel so passionate about this Anonymous Summer 1996 11 As it became clearer to him that he was himself a lover of men trapped in a marriage, the darkness of another kind encroached; To abandon the family was far too cruel and so he decided to abandon himself, to embrace the lie and to live suburbanly unhappy. After all, there was the country club to luncheon at, the card games he loved, an office full of women, no harm there. And maybe he could keep himself occupied at home with books and art, and a room of his own to hide within. A family pact was made without my input the year (or was it one day?) my father faced the truth about his sexuality. Somewhere, deeply hidden, a gut wrenching fact emerged, and rose up into his chest tightening its vice grip of pain. And in that moment he knew his disinterest in my mother’s warm body had nothing to do with her style or form or behavior. A floodgate opened in his memory river and scenes poured forth in montage, closing the chasmic distance between his head and his heart. (The high school friend, the army buddies, the Italian with the tight muscles, the girl he was engaged to and broke it off with.) Mother never said one word to him about this truth, blessedly, “and to her credit” he would have said. A silent co-conspirator, she entered the closet too and raised us girls within its walls to follow suit and keep the peace. No blood oath was taken, no contract signed; yet this undocumented pact has left me to find my way out of my father’s closet. Karen A. McClintock is minister of faith development at First Christian Church in Medford, Oregon. Her poetry emerges from her spiritual practice of daily journal writing. II N EXXCHANGE FOR SIILLENCE By Karen A. McClintock subject. “Does she have a gay child?” they ask a minister. If they knew, would that only cause them to dismiss my concern as obvious self-interest? The church members resist change out of fear of divisiveness. My son clings to his privacy as a cloak of protection. I try to practice the patience of waiting when I want to scream the message of God’s love that is available for all persons! I hate it in the closet. I mourn more for being so imprisoned by my son whom I love so much than I ever did for the truth that he was different. Friends in PFLAG laugh when I tell of my repressed state. “Parents are the ones who normally go into the closet when their kids come out,” they tell me. “You’re the first parent we’ve met who wants to be more ‘out’ than her child.” It’s true that I do not submit passively to his “gag rule.” I keep pushing him to let up on his control of who I can tell. Over the past four years, he has consented to my telling my brother who had guessed long before and who found it no big deal. I have permission to talk privately to my gay students who talk to me in confidentiality. When I have been asked by PFLAG to be interviewed for a newspaper article, I have declined. Each time I ask permission for further public disclosure, I am met with a tirade. “Mother, we’ve been through this before. It’s my life! I have been lenient with you but you can’t ‘out’ me... You don’t know what it’s like! I’m afraid that I might lose my job. That’s all that I have to build my future security!” I withdraw my request because I really cannot know the fear that is so real to him. I cannot deny that he must be in charge of his own life. But what about my life? Do I have any rights as a parent of a gay child? I am torn between my loyalty to my son’s need for privacy and my fierce maternal instinct combined with a strong social conscience that wants to confront a society which oppresses sexual minorities. I agree with Robert A. Bernstein’s point in his book, Straight Parents/Gay Children, that parents of gay children must play a key role in addressing society’s bigotry and ignorance about the assumption that homosexuals are “rare freaks.” I want to liberate my son and all those who fear unfair treatment and loss of civil rights for being gay in a straight world. I do believe with all my heart that “the truth will set us free.” But I can’t impose that understanding on a person who has withdrawn into a social life he has built with his gay friends because he needs to be comfortable. Learning to live in a closet can be seductive because it feels safe. I will reluctantly stand inside the closet with my son, but my foot wedges the door open and I continue to pray for the light of openness for us all. ▼ 12 Open Hands I can’t remember how old I was. I remember that I was attending Dewey School in Evanston, Illinois. Dewey was a primary school so it must have been when I was in the fifth or sixth grade. I was a big kid for my age. No one pushed me. No one encouraged me. No one asked me. I didn’t read about it. As a matter of fact I had no choice. It was automatic. It just happened one day on the playground. Like Adam, what I saw was “a delight to the eye and was to be desired.” Somehow it came to me that these creatures, the nuisances, were not just a millstone around a fellow’s neck. Instead, they created in me a warm and pleasant feeling and I wanted to be with them. On that day, I knew in my heart of hearts that I liked girls. I was always one to activate my thoughts so I began to chase girls. I was persistent in my chase. I was helpless. No scolding or threats or prayers of my parents lessened my feeling about girls. I continued the chase until I was twenty-five years old when one of them caught me. We established a relationship and, after fifty years, the relationship changed—my partner, my mate, my love died. The relationship was not created in heaven, although sometimes I thought it must have been. It began in Winnetka, Illinois and, after suffering through six years of separation occasioned by World War II and thirty-seven changes of address, came to a close in Napa, California. I expect it was like most marriages with some downs but mostly ups. It was wonderful. To have someone always with you and for you is an indescribably delightful experience. To have someone whom I cared for and helped to be all she could really be made me feel I was “just a little less than the gods.” It was such a wonderful experience that I continue it in my heart and take courage that not even death shall separate us. My faith, which was nurtured and grew in that relationship, makes me believe that one day we will be together again. I can’t explain it—to me it just is. Most experience indicates that lesbians and gays have no more choice than I did when I awoke one day and decided I liked girls. I don’t really understand why a man would choose another man to be his life mate. But I don’t think it is as important that I understand the process as it is for me to accept them and allow them to live their lives as I have lived mine, with the same rights that I have enjoyed. I want also to confess that I don’t understand why many of my heterosexual friends chose the partners they did. I have also heard many parents say that they didn’t understand the choices made by their children. I guess one day all of us will have to accept the truth— that God made us in His image. He didn’t make the world in our image. God the Creator created differences. All of us are very similar but there are obvious differences: skin texture and color, eye and hair color, weight, height, foot and hand size. God made these differences and more. As a Christian I remember that God said what He created was good. I accept God as the author of differences. As a Christian, I want to follow Jesus’ basic teaching: “Love one another.” I believe at the very least this means that we must accept one another. I accept what God has created. I accept that God is wiser than I am. I accept gays and lesbians. Lastly (and I have been lasting for a long time) I want to confess that I had such a rich, varied, wonderful, loving life with Nan that I could not live with myself if I did anything to deprive another of the same opportunity. ▼ William N. Wingstrom is a retired associate member of the California-Nevada Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church. He lives in Napa, California. Loving Faithfully We cannot understand loving faithfully by lauding heterosexual marriage and condemning homosexual relationships instead of asking what we might learn from seeing how love is made manifest in any relationship. We need to know how life is enhanced, pain and suffering healed, creativity encouraged, promises kept, and each person able to flourish. Under the lens of those criteria, many marriages would fail and many same-sex relationships would stand as examples to us all. —Rita Nakashima Brock Excerpted from sermon “Walking in the Moonlight” General Assembly, Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) Pittsburgh, October 23, 1995 By William N. Wingstrom Summer 1996 13 I was just fifteen, away from home for the first time and scared to death. I was a college freshman and dying to look and act as old as all the others. He was golden, blond, funny, and an upperclassman. He had a wonderful cynical way of looking at things and thought that I was delightful. We were destined to be best friends, and we were. Ron taught me how to make the most of my southern accent, how to walk in four-inch heels and to wave like Miss America. He took me to my first frat dance, steered me around the killer courses and professors, and was stricter than my father to all my prospective dates. He was there to “dish” the morning after. He was also there when my heart was “totally broken” and I contemplated becoming the first Methodist nun. And I was there for him the first time he said he was “gay” out loud. I went with him the first time he went to a gay dance bar. He was afraid that no one would ask him to dance. He shouldn’t have been; he was the best dancer there— and the most popular. Even though we later finished at different colleges and went on to work, Ron was always the best kind of friend—the kind that you could call at 3 A.M. to drop everything to rescue you. When he said everything would be all right, you knew it was true. And when he thought that he would never really love anyone, I knew he was wrong and told him so and he believed me. And I was right. He knew even before I did that I was in love with Jim, and told me so. I said he was crazy and only saying that because Jim was the first person I ever dated that he approved of. It turned out we were both right. Later, when I decided to get married, he arrived at the wedding with the motor running and enough money for a couple of months in Mexico if I was having second thoughts. I wasn’t, but just knowing he was there and would understand made it even more right and wonderful. When I was pregnant with Jamie, he was the first person outside of the family to know. He was also the only one who understood how worried I was about having the necessary skills to be a good mother. He understood but wasn’t worried at all. The jury is still out on that one, but I think he may be right. After Jamie was born, I became so focused in motherhood and family that I didn’t see him as often. We had supper a few times, but balancing home, family, and a full time job didn’t leave much time for other things. So, when he became sick and didn’t want to see me as often, I didn’t think too much about it. Somehow the few weeks became a few months and the few months became almost a year. We moved and he moved and I lost touch. That was fourteen years ago. At some point, AIDS entered my consciousness and I was sure he had died. I remembered his symptoms and how bad he looked. A part of my heart was gone. I hurt because I had allowed him to become lost to me. There was a sadness that never went away. In 1994 I moved to San Francisco and joined Bethany United Methodist Church. Bethany is a church concerned about social justice, with a dynamic minister and a welcoming congregation filled with friendly, giving people who soon became my friends. It is also a Reconciling Congregation. I thought that was a wonderful thing. It was the biblically right and socially just thing to be. It was wonderful that my gay and lesbian friends were able to worship openly. But being a Reconciling Congregation had no real connection with me. It was just the right thing to do. One of the things I really love about Bethany is the community prayer and the passing of the peace. For us touchyfeely southern types, a hug is a major part of worship. One Sunday I was listening to the prayer request of Terry who had been sitting in front of me for the last year and a half. He asked for prayers for his former lover, Ron ___________, who had just died. I hadn’t even known Terry had known Ron. In that instant, being a part of an RC church became very real to me. Because Bethany is the kind of church that it is, Terry could ask for prayers for his friend, I could hear them, and a part of me was healed. My lost friend was found, and though he had died, he was again alive for me. I rejoice that God gave him many more years, most of them happy, healthy, and wonderful ones. That day when I hugged Terry in the passing of the peace, I felt the long connection with my friend. I know now that being a part of a Reconciling Congregation is a very real part of me. From now on it can be no other way. We are all God’s marvelous creations and we must all be welcome in his church. Many years ago God gave me a loving friend, and when I thought he was lost to me, God gave me an even more loving gift—the gift of reconciliation. God is good. ▼ Janet Jacobs Huebsch, a member of Bethany United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in San Francisco, lives with her husband Jim and son Jamie. She serves on the board of directors of a private school and is a grant writer. ReconcilingReconciling Reconciling RReeccoonncciilliinngg Janet By Janet Jacobs Huebsch 14 Open Hands • I am made in the image of God, loved by God, and have a very personal and real sense of relationship with Christ as Lord. • My gay orientation is a beautiful gift from God and not a sinful perversion of God’s intent for me and my life. • I have no guilt or shame about who I am and am grateful for the gifts God has given me and the blessings God has bestowed upon me and my ministry. • I believe my homosexuality has been a gift to make me a creative, compassionate, more loving pastor. But there remains the dilemma of the gay, married pastor: • To remain within my denomination forces me to be totally closeted. I do not believe this is dishonest or hypocritical because, if I did “come out of the closet,” I would probably be excommunicated and/or denied any further pastoral ministries. • I dearly love my wife. We have a fine marriage, are best friends, and share the hopes, dreams, pain, and joy of the years. The pain comes mainly from not being able to share my homosexuality with my wife. It would probably mean the end of our marriage and that is not an option for me. • To come out to my children and siblings would cause some family ruptures, so that is not an option. • To come out to the people in the churches I have served would also serve no good purpose. At about age twelve, I began to feel that I was different—and in my community anyone who felt attraction to a person of the same sex was “queer.” I lived in fear of being known by such a derogatory name, so I hid my feelings from everybody and was ashamed of my sexual desires. My activity with other boys and young men in grade school and high school was limited and unfulfilling. Because I went to a Presbyterian-related college and had been in the Christian church all my life, there was only one thing for me to do (I thought) and that was to marry. I have been married for over forty years to a lovely and creative woman who has been a great mother of our children and a very fine wife. In my early twenties, I felt called to what was then named “the Gospel Ministry,” attended seminary, and have been ordained for thirty-five years, serving in small and large churches as staff and senior pastor. But—I was always gay, always closeted, and, for twenty-five years while our children were growing up, totally nonpracticing as a gay man. About ten years ago, I gave up celibacy and have been a very happy and satisfied gay man, though still totally closeted. No one in my family—wife, children, or siblings—or any members of churches where I have served know I am gay. I have not practiced my gay life with any members of the churches where I have served. In the past ten years I have read as many books as possible from all viewpoints on the gay Christian person. I spent many days and nights researching all relevant Bible passages. My conclusions, as of now: I know there are those who would counsel me to be honest, to “come out of the closet,” but I believe there would be too much pain all around and some broken relationships. I know there are others who might counsel me to repent of my sin and at least become a celibate homosexual for the sake of my marriage, family, and friends, but I believe that my spirituality and sexuality are so closely related that to suppress or deny one is to hinder the full and honest acceptance of the other. I am on a journey toward being a whole, complete, and mature person as created in the image of God— and spirituality and sexuality are two very important elements of that wholeness. I do not feel I am unfaithful to my ordination vows, my call to ministry, or my service to Christ… I do not feel I am unfaithful to my ordination vows, my call to ministry, or my service to Christ through the church. Nowhere in my vows, when I was ordained thirty-five years ago, were there any suggestions, questions, or issues of sexual orientation or behavior. God have mercy on us all! ▼ Source This story is adapted and reprinted from More Light Update, February 1996. Used with permission. Jacob Guerdon Black is a pseudonym. By Jacob Guerdon Black Summer 1996 15 Not all parents are straight. I didn’t know that until I was thirteen and my dad told my mom, my sister, and me that he was gay. People say that when a parent comes out, the rest of the family goes into the closet. That was true for us. My secure world fell apart when I learned that my dad wasn’t really the person I always thought he was. I was angry and hurt and I couldn’t talk about it with anyone except my mom and sister. We moved to Boulder when I was a sophomore. Amendment 2 was on the ballot and, although I spoke up about gay rights, I never felt free to reveal my personal connection. I heard the hatred other people used against homosexuals and it made me feel like an outcast. I thought no one would accept me if I told them about my dad. I hated to think how they would talk about him if they knew. That would be unbearable. My teachers ignored the remarks, so I would usually sit quietly and listen. When the arguments got heated beyond normal debate, I personalized what they said. I felt hated. “Why can’t I tell them?” I asked myself. My anger and isolation was only intensified when we learned my dad’s final secret: he was HIV positive. In the middle of the night we had a phone call: “He’s not going to make it!” By then I had to tell one or two close friends because I couldn’t bear the weight of my sorrow alone. By the time I was a junior in high school, I was fed up with high school and the foolishness of my peers. I was ready to come out, but I still had to keep the secret because my younger sister wasn’t there yet. As my dad’s secrets became known (there is no hiding the effects of AIDS), he changed. Society had forced him to live a lie because he wanted so badly to conform to social expectations. He thought that if he married and had a family, he could continue to deny his attraction to the same sex. When he gave up the lie, he became free to be his true self. He transformed during the last two years of his life into a wonderful friend to me. AIDS complicated my anger because its roller coaster times of crisis meant that I thought I was saying good-bye to my dad five different times. However, my dad was determined to hold on to life and to come to terms with death. We had wonderful talks where he told me that he was sorry for how he had hurt my sister and Mom and me. We cried together when he told me that he loved me. “I’m not afraid to die,” he told me as he chose to find the best in each day. When I would get angry because we were refused service in a restaurant because he had AIDS, my dad would stay calm and just shrug off the ignorance and fear of strangers. I watched my parents find new closeness as friends while she took care of him during his final illness. “David, I’ve taken care of the girls while you were sick; your job is to take care of them after you’re gone.” And it’s true. My dad has never been more present for me than since his death six months ago. My dad’s greatest gift to me is the growth and maturity I’ve found in learning about life. I have come to understand that prejudice and rejection rise out of people’s fear of what they don’t know. I have learned that parents are just people who do the best they can. I know now that love is a bond that death cannot break. At age twenty I am gifted with some of my dad’s sense of peace that whatever comes, I can handle it. When I went to the University of Colorado, I was finally able to come out. I helped to form a group called COLAGE, for children of lesbian and gay parents. We support each other in opening up to be who we are.1 Now I can proudly talk about my life and what I learned from having a gay parent. I am finally released from the worst oppression of all, having to keep a secret.▼ Note 1COLAGE (Children of Gays and Lesbians Everywhere) is the children’s support network of the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition, International (GLPCI). Sara Davies is now a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder. By Sara Davies Out Karen A. McClintock It’s such a joy to have you out your spikey hair your laughter Your cut to the heart of it care. The you I sadly saw straining against the weight of the closet door Flying now falling in love fantastic! Karen A. McClintock is minister of faith development at First Christian Church in Medford, Oregon. Her poetry emerges from her spiritual practice of daily journal writing. A FATHER’S LEGACY 16 Open Hands The journey of life that is given to us by our Creator is an interesting one. We have been given the ability to lock into God’s grace. Some of us choose to do just that, and some choose to ignore the simplest of biblical truths: “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, NEB). This is a basic part of our Christian faith. When ignored, it does cause us great difficulty. Being dishonest with ourselves is being dishonest with God. Until truth abounds, we cannot enjoy the blessing of freedom. I have read this lesson from Christ many times. It wasn’t until I was forced into outing myself to my family that it hit home. I felt that the truth had to come out or I would not ever be free. Mine was a double outing. I knew that the circumstances about my gay lifestyle and also about the fact that I am HIV positive was definitely going to complicate things. It did. The immediate negative response from my maternal grandmother was that I was “dead and no longer a part of the family” and she wanted no communication with me. I wasn’t surprised. I was tired of trying to digest all of this. God’s promise kept ringing in my mind. I prayed and meditated on this. As time moved on, fear and doubt left and was replaced by joy. The joy that I began feeling was truly the freedom that is promised. No lies, no cover up, no need to sugarcoat anything so it could be swallowed with greater comfort by others. Just the bare fact that God is truly in control. The beautiful thing is that God really started working in my life. Doors began swinging open and the greatest gifts of life began coming my way. I was given peace inside that allowed me the chance to be honest with a multitude of persons in my life. This became a healing for me spiritually. In turn, it gave me a firm foundation emotionally and professionally to handle whatever came my way. I found that there are always those persons who cannot accept reality. This is something that they own. They have to work through it. I cannot spoon-feed them through the process. My own need became evident. I must take care of myself and concentrate on allowing God to put into my life those persons who are full of the Holy Spirit. I must draw from God’s Power, not the power of the world. Negative power drains us and we tend to lose sight of the fact that through God, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” In this freedom I discovered what it meant to love others at the same time I was learning to love myself. I met Wallace Richards, a true gift from God. We lived together for twenty-two months and God called him home. I was able to spend one of the most incredibly joyous times in my life with this gracious individual. God was always there. We knew that we were going to By Randy Houston God’s Promise Summer 1996 17 meet resistance. Daily we confronted each situation with confidence. God’s promise had been given to us. We knew that God was doing miraculous things, turning people around, making those “mountains move.” Why? Because God promised this and we knew that God does not break promises. God worked on both of our families. The pure, unconditional love that only God can provide started rushing forth like a mighty wind. Blessings came that were truly overflowing, that had some action to them. Not just idle promises, but real meaningful action occurred. You could see the hand of God touching each one of our family members, causing attitude changes, bringing forth definite life changes. Family members, from both sides, have reached out in ways never before imagined. Before, they would not have even mentioned that their child or brother was gay. Now they are speaking about HIV or AIDS. God’s power was so moving that now my being gay and being HIV positive can be openly discussed with no fear or retribution. Where there was fear and confusion, there is now love and understanding. I have been able to gain victory. God really is there for me through every trial. The truth does not just stop at making us free. It is contagious, spreading like wildfire and destroying the walls that separate people from one another. No more barriers. Just sweet peace, joy, love, the kind that only God can supply. God supplies these blessings through the Perfect Gift, Jesus Christ, making all who look for that truth free. No Outing / No Silencing! By Martha L. Olney Let us not make the error of equating the freedom to be out with the freedom to out others. Whether or not to come out is a choice each individual faces. Choosing to be out has definite benefits. Being out means less fear of being “found out.” It means less stress associated with covering one’s tracks and watching one’s pronouns. But we cannot deny the costs of coming out. Being closeted may allow someone to be a more effective agent for change. Being out may mean job loss, loss of vocation, or custody battles. The costs of being out are often substantial. Each of us faces our own decision. And each decision should be respected. If we choose to be closeted, don’t out us. If we choose to be out, don’t silence us. What we celebrate is that through our welcoming and affirming congregations, more and more people know they are valued and loved children of God just as they are. Being out or being in—about our sexuality, an abusive past, or even our religious background— is a choice we make with the full knowledge that God’s extravagant love surrounds us always, whatever our decision. Martha L. Olney is treasurer of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley, California (a Welcoming & Affirming Congregation). She teaches economics at the University of California, Berkeley. I rejoice in what God has done for me. I rejoice in what God can do for you. God’s power is just a whisper away. Just speak that whisper. Believe God’s promise. The doors that confine will swing open and you will be given the strength to deal with all the obstacles that come your way. If it happened for me and the situations that I have been through, then I believe it can happen for you. ▼ Randy Houston is a member of First Congregational United Church of Christ, an ONA church in Memphis, Tennessee. He is an RN employed as outside services coordinator at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He is a member of the local PFLAG and also serves on the executive board of the Memphis Area Regional AIDS Interfaith Network. He speaks to groups concerning issues of compassion towards AIDS and those affected by the disease. 18 Open Hands talism needed people more as consumers than as producers. There weren’t enough jobs around—creating consternation and stagnation in the dominant white community and an economic depression in the Black and Latino communities. The pie wasn’t expanding anymore; the battle between those who work and those who control became intense. Average families were having to work more and harder and still seemed to be declining in living standard. The American Dream was dying. The labor movement was losing ground. We reached a point in the U.S. where more people were employed by McDonalds than by the entire U.S. steel industry. We can’t name the shift very well yet, but as Yogi Berra said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” The future feels very different. One historian has even written that history is “over!” It feels as if we’ve moved into a “post” period: post-industrial, post-modern, post- Christendom, post-whatever. Among the characteristics of the “post” period are the following: 1. Intensifying class conflict. While investor optimism has yielded alltime highs in the stock market, virtually every institution has been contracting in size and taking back benefits and wages from its employees. The safety net for average individuals is being eaten away, even as an unprecedented re-concentration of wealth is occurring. By George D. McClain God’s Coming Out... In a The Golden Age The second period was the Golden Age—from 1945 to the early 1970s. During this time the U.S. reigned supreme as world political, economic, and cultural power, while most of the world experienced a period of unprecedented economic expansion. American wealth grew enormously, especially among the “haves”; and there was enough left over to begin to meet the growing economic demands of non-male, non-white constituencies and not threaten the expanding wealth of the owners and managers of the capitalist economic machine. As far as nuclear war was concerned, the Cold War turned out to be a Cold Peace. Despite counter-insurgency wars and the Vietnam War, former colonial peoples became nations at astounding rates; and in rapid succession the Black civil rights movement, the women’s movement, and, toward the end of the period, the gay rights movement mushroomed, bringing permanent change to our nation. Overall, optimism abounded. Oh, how the church longs for this era. The mainline churches expanded in membership, in property, and in professional staff. It’s a lot more fun to upsize than to downsize! The Crisis Decades However, in the early 1970s, things began to turn sour. The underlying reality was that the economic bill for the Golden Age came due. U.S. capi- Many college commencement addresses this past spring spoke of the sense of uncertainty of the future. It’s as if they had taken as their basic “scripture” text the gospel according to Yogi Berra, the baseball Hall of Famer, who once said: “The future just ain’t what it used to be.” To understand this new future—this New Reformation of which we are a part— it is very helpful to review the past, especially the history of the twentieth century. According to the eminent British historian Eric Hobsbawm, this century has been a short one—only seventyseven years long. It began in 1914 with the outbreak of World War I and concluded in 1991 with the breakup of the Soviet Union.1 It includes three distinct periods—and the beginnings of a new future. A Thirty Year War The first third of the twentieth century could be called a Thirty Year War (actually thirty-one years), from 1914 to 1945. It was an era of tribal warfare— European and North American— and of unprecedented total warfare that involved not just the military sector, but the entire society and economy of the nations involved. How else in World War II could German’s military forces requisition 5.7 million stamp pads or the U.S. military order 500 million pairs of socks? Summer 1996 19 2. Growing ecological disaster. The ozone layer continues to diminish. Chemicals in the air, water, and food accumulate. Allergies plague more and more people while public interest in environmental protection wanes. 3. A sense that no one’s in control. There’s a feeling that we’re careening as a civilization and no one has a hand on the wheel. The old fixes for the economy, the social order, the international order, or the family just don’t work. 4. Displaced anger. While those at the pinnacle of power and wealth get worship and adulation, the anxious and contracting middle class lashes out against those just beginning to get a measure of justice. The result: militias, hate groups, and anti-immigrant and anti-gay movements. The New Reformation To be a witness and hope in this threatening future, God has been creating a new church. This New Reformation, perhaps as thorough-going as that of the sixteenth century, is already a fact. It crosses traditional boundaries of denomination and confession. For instance, it is found among Roman Catholics demanding the ordination of women or among Protestants demanding full inclusion of lesbians and gay men. The Reconciling-More Light-Welcoming- Affirming-Supportive movements are an integral part of it. Peace and justice networks, too. We don’t need to leave our historic denominations to be a part of this new church. We only need to connect, to rejoice, and to claim the vision God has given us. To be a witness and hope in this threatening future, God has been creating a new church. This new church is unorganized—or, rather, it is organized in a thousand different ways at one time: a publishing house here, a house church there, an urban congregation, a struggling rural church, a justice committee, a covenant prayer group. This New Reformation church affirms that injustice to people and to the earth is abhorrent to God and that there are things we can do to point the way to God’s justice. This church knows that evil is real, that principalities and powers contend against God’s purposes, but this church also knows that we have resources in our faith to confront them with God’s power.2 This church proclaims that there’s room for everyone at the throne of grace and table of life, and that our place is alongside those who suffer, including those who suffer in different ways than we do. The challenge for each of us is how to be a part of this New Refomation— how to be continually re-formed ourselves, how to connect to this church wherever we are, how to bring our gifts to the One who is God of the future, even a future which “just ain’t what it used to be.” At our recent United Methodist General Conference there were myriad ways in which the Church of the New Reformation was experienced. One of the most grace-filled times was on the next to the last evening, when a group of progressive caucuses held a dance party. We’d been really battered the two previous days by a succession of defeats on gay issues and our wounds were raw. But in those hours of dancing we danced the new Reality of God—gay, straight, clergy, lay—of every color. The future just ain’t what it used to be— thank God! ▼ Notes 1See Eric Hobsbawm, The Age of Extremes: A History of the World, 1914-1991 (New York: Pantheon Books, 1994). 2See George McClain, “Healing Broken Institutions,” in Open Hands (Winter 1995). George D. McClain, D.Min., is an ordained clergyman who for twenty-three years has been executive director of the Methodist Federation for Social Action, an independent network of social justice advocates within the United Methodist Church. Plan Now for Winter or Spring Study Claiming the Promise Groundbreaking New Bible Study Curriculum on Homosexuality ▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation. ▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light of the Promise that we are children or heirs of God. ▼ Discusses “gracious hospitality” and “gift-ed sexuality.” ▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual responsibility.” ▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples. For more information call: Reconciling Congregation Program 312/736-5526 773/736-5526 (Oct. 12) or contact your welcoming program NATIIONAL COMIING OUT DAY OCTOBER 11 Coming Out is a sure way to gain support. Coming Out helps us achieve political power and voting power. Coming Out can turn ignorance into acceptance. Coming Out means changing the tide of history. For more information, contact National Coming Out Day P.O. Box 34640, Washington, DC 20043-4640 202/628-4160 or 800/866-NCOD Fax 202/347-5323 NCOD is a non-profit educational project of the Human Rights Campaign Fund Foundation. 20 Open Hands The sanctuary brimmed with a diverse and celebrative congregation. Two families were being brought together for the first time. Two men were making their vows of covenant. The mood was one of cautiousness and wonder, expressed by many who gathered in a Christian church to witness a service of Covenant for their family member, colleague, or friend. I had the privilege to preach about the profound nature of Christ’s love to this gathering, many of whom found no reason to trust a church that could not affirm their lives or those they love. Behind me hung a banner that one of the men had designed. It portrayed a web within a circle connecting multicolored, many-sided shapes representing the diversity of community and covenant. Many persons commented on their first experience of this “church with an open door” that accepted these gay men and accepted every one. I realized how I yearned for this to be true every Sunday in every church. Claiming Ally Status The church closet imposed on gay/ lesbian Christians is real. Many of our judicatories still hesitate to embrace the Jesus of the gospels who holds steadfastly that the greatest commandment is to love God, neighbor, and self without limits. However, as a United Methodist clergywoman serving in the local pastorate for twenty years, I represent a church that is empowered by the Holy Spirit to truly bring us together in covenant and promise as the people of God, gay/lesbian and straight, to witness to that love-without-limits that Jesus calls us to again and again. The scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ provide the guidepost for an inclusive, reconciling ministry. No church body can restrict God’s love or the power of the Spirit to heal and renew the world. This has been a spiritual awakening for me as I have served as pastor for these last eleven years at Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. As a heterosexual woman, married with three children, I am called to be an ally of my gay/lesbian/bisexual sisters and brothers. Being an ally permeates my personal ministry and that of the congregation I have served. One way I witness to the gospel and walk as an ally towards healing grace is by offering rituals, sacraments, and counseling. As a pastor, I refuse no ministries to anyone who is seeking or living out the saving grace and love of God in their life. Membership and Lay Ministries Our congregation does not limit the involvement of anyone in the full ministry and service of the church when they have been called by the leading of the Holy Spirit. Persons of all sexual orientations are welcome to be members of the church. Our congregation has offered legislation to our judicatory to encourage other churches to do the same. Gay/lesbian and straight, together we are leaders in the local congregation. There is no discrimination regarding committee membership, including committees such as worship, education, trustees, or pastor parish relations. In fact, we try to build inclusive decisionmaking committees and a staff that is representative of diverse perspectives. We also encourage persons of all sexual orientations to represent us on denominational committees and boards. This commitment to full inclusiveness comes Working As Allies: Opening Church Doors By Betty Jo Birkhahn-Rommelfanger Summer 1996 21 from all of the members of the congregation and is especially committed to by persons who are straight allies. Open Pulpit The pulpit at Wheadon is open to all in the church. We have been particularly moved by the faith and witness of those persons who have faced prejudice, hate, and fear because of their gay/ lesbian/bisexual identity. Hearing the stories of the oppressed helps all of us to be more conscious of our own prejudice and to shape our own convictions within a gospel of love and justice. Worship Celebration Liturgies that rehearse the stories of courage and faithfulness of gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians are shared regularly. Singing songs like Julian Rush’s “Ours the Journey” (which celebrates our cultural, color, gender, economic, and sexual diversity around a theme of promise and exodus) keeps us grounded in the God who leads our journey to freedom. This is a journey we must take, gay and straight together. The worship celebration in our congregation allows for a time of witnessing to our current experience, speaking of current events, personal prayer, and engaging in dialogue with one another regarding God’s word for our lives today. By providing an environment where persons can speak out of their own experience, we have witnessed many moments of shared pain and celebrations, allowing for mutual support, healing, and reconciliation. In such an open dialogue, we discover that we support one another in what is a day-to-day struggle toward freedom in our sexual orientations. In the dialogue or prayer time, gay/lesbian/bisexual persons may come out or speak honestly of their personal experiences, trusting their straight allies in the congregation. Straight persons are likewise able to express themselves with honesty. We need one another to face the closed doors— the barriers which silence us and do violence in church and society. Witnessing to Children It is especially important that our children have the experience of being a part of an integrated community. My own children have learned to accept the differences we have as a community. I tell my twin son and daughter, now ten years old, about the lesbian couple who helped to bring them home from the hospital and the great support I received. One lesbian woman in the church was my older son’s Guide, assisting in his membership/faith development, when he was in junior high. In his teenage years, he also attended a national Reconciling Congregation Convocation, and experienced the power of God’s love in a new way as a growing, searching young man. It has helped him to accept himself and also to accept friends regardless of their sexual orientation. Children hear prejudice focused every day at gay/lesbian/bisexual people, but their experience in a loving, integrated congregation, where people are friends across sexual orientation lines, shapes them more firmly in their Christian faith. My children, and all the children in our congregation, have been informed by a community able to be honest about the struggles and the joys of being the free people God created us to be. Advocating Change in Church and Society I and members of my congregation have been called upon many times to speak about gay/lesbian/bisexual inclusiveness in the church and society. This is an important way to be an ally as a straight person, clergy or lay. We may have access to decision making in the church and society that our brothers and sisters who are gay/lesbian/bisexual do not have except at great risk. I have worked on commissions to promote anti-discrimination laws in our local municipality. Evanston is one of the few cities in Illinois with such human rights protections in housing, jobs, and commerce. We can be allies in the political process. Likewise, we can support legislation in the church that protects and affirms gay/lesbian/bisexual persons. Clergy Witness Clergy have a special responsibility to speak within the church. We have access to power and decision making that can be used to be allies in our judicatories. The full recognition of ordination for gay/lesbian/bisexual persons will not be realized until straight allies stand up and speak out. When a lesbian woman from our congregation felt the call of God in her life towards ordination, an amazing network of persons from all sexual orientations came together to be a witness to her ministry. Because of pastors and lay persons in the local church and judicatory, members of judicatory boards of ordained ministry, and persons struggling with the truth of God’s love known in all persons, she was accepted as a lesbian woman for ordained ministry. The hate and prejudice of some persons in the conference forced legal decisions that sought to force her out of ministry, and her life ended in tragedy and suicide before she could be ordained. To our congregation, and all who knew and loved her, she had already been ordained by God for this ministry. Her death, like her life, brought a new commitment from all members of our congregation, and from many in our Conference and Board of Ordained Ministry, to live by the liberating gospel to open the doors of the church. So, still today, many provide leadership and witness diligently to full inclusion of gay and lesbian persons to ordained ministry in the church. We need each other. Together we can be a witness to life and God’s promise for all. As Holly Near’s song reminds us: “We are gay (lesbian/bisexual) and straight together, and we are singing, singing for our lives.” ▼ Betty Jo (B.J.) Birkhahn-Rommelfanger is a United Methodist clergywoman in the Northern Illinois Conference. Formerly pastor of Wheadon UMC in Evanston (a Reconciling Congregation for over a decade), she began a new pastorate at Ravenswood Fellowship UMC in Chicago in July. She is a pastor, counselor, and local and denominational church and community leader. 22 Open Hands The United Methodist office had been furnished with new plants, computer hardware, new telephone system, copier, chairs, table, and new pictures to decorate the walls. The District Superintendent was exceptionally excited and pleased at the selection of the two new large posters of front doors from two major cities from two different parts of the world. These doors were beautifully photographed with their color enhanced so that the blues, reds, yellows, and greens would seem brighter and more attractive. There were doors of various ages, designs, styles, and colors, made of materials such as wood, glass, metal, panel, and louvers. The doors were architecturally distinctive and compelling. As I looked at the framed pictures, I found them most intriguing and wondered who must live behind those doors and what life activity and history had occurred beyond those colorful entrances. As intriguing as I found them in their attractiveness, however, I also was perplexed and somewhat disturbed. All the doors were closed. Was this just my musing too much or was there a hidden message and symbol of our true way of looking at who we are. Were we to be known as “those with the closed doors”? The issue of inclusiveness, metaphorically characterized by an open door, is one with which we have continued to struggle. We work within systems that are often afraid to open their doors, minds, and hearts. Yet, we must remain within those closed doors as allies to give support to persons and ideas which will some day soon be accepted wholeheartedly. We who work within this church known as “those with the closed doors” must be willing to bring to light those unknowns that are the basis for the fear which keeps us from being inclusive. Such work is more than education. It is the living out the possibilities of being together as followers of Alllliies IInsiide Cllosed Doorrs By Paul E. Santillán Christ. It is being allies with those who are not yet fully included. Abundance theology is a powerful and exciting way to live out God’s plan. There is always room behind those closed doors. There is infinite love and compassion enough for all to receive. To live otherwise contradicts all that we believe in and proclaim. To make this bold statement apart from the consensus of the church is a great risk. It takes someone who has reflected deeply— and who feels confident that their conscience and God is leading them—to say that there is room for all called to be family. God calls for the doors to be opened, and those in leadership are given permission and encouragement to break the locks, take off the hinges, or change the rules, whichever works best. The big meetings of the church of “those with the closed doors” have passed. Yet God’s call, under abundant theology, is not limited to those gatherings. There is time now for the changes to occur in the places where we find ourselves. The risk is great but the cause is worth it. ▼ Paul E. Santillán is a new member of the program staff of the Iowa United Methodist Conference. He lives in Des Moines, Iowa. Alban Institute Seeks Case Studies Has your congregation designed and implemented a helpful, respectful process for helping members talk about ministry with gays and lesbians? (The outcome of the conversation is not as important as the process itself.) The Alban Institute, a nondenominational nonprofit organization that seeks to foster vigorous faithful ministry in mainline congregations, is gathering case studies for a resource on welcoming churches. Contact: Beth Gaede, Editor, 318 Parkway Court, Minneapolis, MN 55419. 612/823-0864. Summer 1996 23 “I would be celebrating my 39th wedding anniversary today except my husband, Ralph, who is gay, and I separated three and one half months ago.” Those were the words with which I began my coming out story to a regional PFLAG seminar on June 11, 1994. Sighs filled the room. We had been married twelve years when Ralph told me he was bisexual. That was in 1967. I accepted his orientation. People weren’t talking openly about “sexual orientation” then. Ralph was a church executive so there was no way that he could talk about it for fear of losing his job. We were silent with the issue. Our son Joel was eight and our daughter Jill was six. We enjoyed the children’s activities. We really cared for each other and liked being together. The children were in college when Ralph told them of his orientation. Two more people had a secret to keep. Ralph and I shared a lot of issues. I knew he liked being with men friends. I trusted him when he said he hadn’t had any affairs. After spending time as a high school teacher and working on my master’s degree in counseling, I worked at a family planning clinic. There I made friends with women who were strong advocates and astute, caring persons. During this time I started pursuing my personhood. I began meditating every morning. I read a lot of books on caring for myself, developed my inner strength, and sought what spirituality meant for me. Ralph resigned from his executive responsibilities without a new position secured. After working at several parttime jobs, he applied for clinical pastoral education residency. That year turned his life around. He felt safe with the resident group and came out to them. Our daughter, in her late twenties, came out to us as a lesbian woman and now has a loving partner, Anne. Several years later our son was married and has a loving partner, Darby. We were living in Illinois when Ralph was offered a position in Denver, Colorado. He accepted it. He began coming out more in work settings, community groups, and writing articles. I supported him. I found employment soon after moving to Denver, but after two years I needed to resign. I needed time to search my soul and find out what I needed to do about our relationship. I knew I needed to take care of myself. I continued my meditating and reading. I began seeing a spiritual director and I read the book by Amity Pierce Buxton, The Other Side of the Closet, which deals with the coming out crisis for straight spouses. As I worked through issues, I knew that I did need to separate from Ralph. Several of my close friends stood by me and said, “you will know when the time is right.” Then one day, in January 1994, I knew. I cried most of the day. When Ralph came home, he knew we needed to talk. We decided to separate and told our family. Our letters to friends ended by saying, “to honor the dignity of Barbara and her womanhood and to honor Ralph as a gay man, we are separating.” Now over two years have passed and I have felt clarity for the decision. Through a lot of pain, loss, and grief, I have come to a place of serenity. I appreciate aloneness. I feel a strong love for myself and know that I am okay. I have been able to experience compassion for the happy memories after times of intense anger and grief. A dear friend wrote, “Must admit that I really felt your letter. In my own way I can appreciate the strength and courage that this is taking. To walk our own walks with integrity certainly requires a deeper commitment than I think most of us ever dreamed. Thanks for sharing with me. Life is to be lived fully and reverently. Thanks for taking care of yourself.” I continue to be very grateful for the support of family and friends. As time moves on, I can see that I have put some more pieces into the puzzle of my life’s journey. I closed my presentation to that PFLAG seminar by saying, “This is the first time I have shared with a group. I have broken my silence and I am out of the closet.” ▼ Barbara McFadden is now semi-retired, having been a high school teacher, counselor, interior designer, and musician. She looks forward to new opportunities, lifestyle changes, hope, and joy for the days ahead. When she first gave this presentation, she was one of four women who shared their stories as straight spouses opening their closets. Opening Spousal Closets: Resources Opening the Straight Spouse’s Closet A very helpful 16-page pamphlet from PFLAG. Good resource for pastors to have on hand. Straight Spouse Support Network (SSSN) A national PFLAG network providing straight spouses with resources, contacts, and support. Parents, Families, Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) P.O. Box 96519, Washington, DC 20090-6519 Phone: 202/638-4200 Fax: 202/638-0243 Email: PFLAGNTL@AOL.COM Also see Resources, p. 28. By Barbara McFadden 24 Open Hands Aiirriing Outt Spoussess’’ Cllossettss By Donald W. Sinclair She was hurting and she was angry when she asked PFLAG Houston leaders “What do you have for the spouses?” We had nothing; we knew nothing. A Pastor in PFLAG Organizes The PFLAG Houston board of directors decided we simply must begin by involving the spouses themselves in developing the understandings and insights needed to be of help to those whose marriage partners had come out to them. I was assigned the task of facilitating a Straight Spouse Support Group immediately. We advertised in the newspapers and especially in gay men’s magazines since gay men usually want to help their wives. For the first year we met monthly at the regular PFLAG meeting. We invited both straight and gay persons who were, or had been, married and had faced, or were facing, the struggle of how to handle a marriage situation. A majority of the first ten or twelve members were gay men already divorced who wished to get help or to be of help in any way possible. The group soon enlarged to fifteen or eighteen participants and included a few more married couples struggling with how to go about airing out all their closets. Gay/Straight Meeting Tensions We discovered that straight spouses are not usually interested in the “gay is OK” programs of PFLAG general meetings. However, some straight spouses in our group emphasized that they had gained valuable knowledge about homosexuality from gay members in the general meetings and in the joint gay/straight spouse meetings. Ultimately, we decided to hold the joint gay/straight spouse meetings at the regular monthly PFLAG meetings and offered weekly straight-spouse-only meetings on the other weeks. I was surprised that none of the straight spouses could provide space in homes or apartments, because of children or smaller quarters after moving out, etc. We met in my spacious office. During the second year, attendance declined and participants decided to meet separately only once a month. Over a two-year period we served twenty-five different persons. What Did We Do in Meetings? Because I did not know what was needed, I asked the first participants to write down ten things a straight spouse needs. We laughed at the practical things offered like, “We need... tranquilizers, facial tissues, reference books to read, and a straight spouse.” After that comical release, the items became weightier (see next page). Family Closets By Mitzi Henderson Seeking to fit in, gay and lesbian persons often marry, only to find later that this relationship cannot be sustained. The resulting crisis involves particular pain and confusion for straight spouses. Feeling rejected, used, or betrayed, they question why they didn’t discern this situation for themselves. Care and support of straight spouses requires special understanding as they face homosexuality in a time of life-changing crisis. The support of knowledgeable family and friends, and compassion for both spouses, can do much to help the family find healing. Where PFLAG or other spousal support groups are available, they offer sharing and resources not always available within the local congregation. Mitzi Henderson is the national president of PFLAG. Summer 1996 25 We spent future meeting times working on these issues. The separate meetings included checking with how each other was doing, crying and laughing together, posing questions and getting advice, and making some decisions about how each person might proceed next. The joint meetings generated some heat when some of the straight wives felt another straight wife was being manipulated by her husband. Participants at different points in their journey do not accept the rationalizations or supposed possibilities projected by others. They see their own early mistakes in other couples and sometimes offer warning or even rejection of the couple’s present plans and efforts. The language can easily turn to accusations and challenges which can cause offense. Gay men who had already been divorced often attempted to help other gay men and their wives with understandings and suggestions they were not always ready to hear or accept. Participants in the group agreed that the primary goal each partner should try to achieve was the greatest degree of happiness possible for all persons involved in the situation. Leader and Group Needs In the separate spouses’ meetings, it is imperative the facilitator be a seasoned member of PFLAG who periodically reminds straight spouses that their gay partners have been through years of emotional trauma with their secret and that they did not set out to hurt them or cause this pain. Leaders also need to remember that even though the group will be a lifesaver for most participants, most spouses mend and grow and find their way to beginning their lives again. PFLAG and the leaders must always be ready to keep graduating the participants and forming new groups. Our group has two spouses who plan to remain to help others in the process of airing out their closets and getting on with their lives. Continued advertising and trying to get newspaper reporters to run a story (something we never could achieve) could be critical in reaching spouses. We were sure there were many more spouses out there. The presence of a pastor who has PFLAG’s understanding of homosexuality is very helpful to straight spouses, mixed groups, or extended family members. The pain and anger is great and difficult to work through. Time must not be wasted on false blame or sympathy. Condemnation by the religious community or other misinformed persons would prevent growth toward wholeness. It also helps for a pastor to say, “There are usually no culprits or bad persons involved. No one set out to hurt or betray someone else.” Pastors who have a grasp of the gay person’s struggle and the social and religious pressure to “just get married and you will forget this!” are desperately needed by straight spouses and extended family members for a brief period. They can help everyone handle, in a constructive and civil way, the real facts of sexual orientation and the real issue of finding the greatest degree of happiness for all persons concerned. Stemming the Underlying Problem It became enormously clear to me that the problem is that our youth do not have full information on human sexuality provided early in life. Nothing need be “promoted” in this information. Young persons just need to know that there are different sexual orientations and that sometimes girls and boys are not naturally attracted to the other sex. They need to be armed with this knowledge and offered places and persons they can talk with about any of their concerns. Otherwise pastors, teachers, counselors, and parents will keep urging marriage and “getting over this phase” in life. Homosexuals will continue to try to “fit in”— and marriages which never should have taken place will keep happening.▼ Donald W. Sinclair recently retired after forty-five years in the Texas Annual Conference, UMC. He served the last ten years as pastor of Bering Memorial UMC in Houston (the first Reconciling Congregation in Texas) where a vast HIV/AIDS program was developed. He also ser ved as vice-president and then president of PFLAG Houston during 1994 and 1995. Straight Spouses Need... time to adjust persons to talk with openly to speak aloud the facts and emotional feelings to cry to understand homosexuality to develop self-confidence again to love myself again to hear the gay/lesbian side to know I am not alone to know it is OK to feel the way I feel to accept the fact that my spouse’s sexual orientation is not a reflection on me to deal with my feelings of “betrayal” to be given hope that I will not always feel this way to know how to tell the children and our parents to talk about “Should we divorce?” and “Should I protect my homosexual spouse in the extended family or at work?” —Generated by PFLAG Houston Spouses’ Support Group 26 Open Hands TIIPS By Anita C. Hill and Susan L. Thornton Anita C. Hill is pastoral minister of St. Paul- Reformation Lutheran (a Reconciled in Christ church) in St. Paul, Minnesota. Susan L. Thornton is an interim pastor of Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota. For Ordained Leaders Coming Out in an Interview 1. Ask for God’s guidance in the process so your coming out may be a witness of your faith commitments. 2. Know your denomination’s polity, history, and politics about ordination and placement of openly lesbigay candidates. 3. Discuss the options with advocates as well as other lesbigay candidates and clergy. Consider cultivating a group of people who can provide ongoing support, critical perspective, and clarification of issues. 4. Do some homework before meeting with the pastor-parish or search committee on the congregation’s: a) stance regarding lesbigay members and ordained leaders, b) manner (formal and informal) of addressing controversial or difficult issues, c) way of dealing with differences. 5. Begin the conversation with one or two people, if possible. Their questions will help you know what needs to be addressed in the larger group. 6. Treat everyone as a potential ally. Enter the process with a loving heart. 7. Treat every question as an opportunity for education and enlightenment. Make sure there is time for dialogue and response to questions. 8. Keep it simple and positive rather than focusing on what you are against. 9. Articulate clearly why it is important, for you and the community, that you be out of the closet. 10. Strive to keep a sense of humor in the midst of it all. For Congregations Someone’s Come Out—Now What? 1. Thank them for their courage and willingness to help your community grow regarding the open involvement of lesbigay people. 2. Ask the person what s/he feels s/he wants for support. Each individual is unique. 3. Help them network among supportive individuals. 4. Don’t assume everything is going great because things are quiet in the congregation. Check it out regularly with the individuals who have come out. 5. Help establish a milieu in which everyone can feel free to ask questions and keep the dialogue open. 6. Provide educational opportunities for groups as well as individual conversation times for people in the congregation who may have questions they are afraid to ask or don’t know how to articulate. 7. Be an ally. Don’t wait for lesbigay people to be the ones to raise issues of justice within your community and congregation. 8. Acknowledge that someone’s coming out may cause discomfort for lesbigay people who are not out. Be prepared to respond to differences. 9. Pray for the individual and the congregation that each person in the community may reflect Christ’s loving openness toward one another. Summer 1996 27 Amazing grace! How sweet your sound; Your song, it sets us free! You open hearts that once were closed and bring us to believe. And when our hearts fill up with fear, we pray to be relieved. Let grace come knocking at our door and bring us to believe. Through many dangers, toils, and snares, we have already come. Tis grace that brought us safe thus far and grace will lead us home. When we’ve been here ten thousand years, if still we cannot see; Dear grace, please open up our eyes and bring us to believe. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a soul like me! I once was told to hide, but now I’m heard and seen and free. New Words ©1996 Judy Fjell (BMI) P.O. Box 2001, Yountville, CA 94599 Phone: 707/944-2420 FAX 707/944-0605 E-mail WoMaMu@aol.com Original words by John Newton, 1779 Now in public domain Judy Fjell, singer/songwriter, tours throughout the United States, performing concerts and leading Music Empowerment workshops. In her workshops she helps participants have a voice in the creation of culture by making their own music with songs and acoustic instruments. To book her for a concert or workshop, or to receive information on her summer music camps in Montana, contact address at left. Denver United Methodist Conference April ’96, rev. June ‘96 Sustaining the Spirit 28 Open Hands Selected Resources Coming Out Jennings, Kevin, ed. One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell Their Stories. Boston: Alyson, 1994. Educators from all regions of the U.S. share their struggles and victories as they put their careers at risk in their fight for justice. Johansson, Warren and William A. Percy. Outing: Shattering the Conspiracy of Silence. New York: Harrington Park, 1994. A historical look at outing, from being “ferreted out” to freely claiming one’s identity. Traces outing from pagan Greek and Roman tolerance, to ancient Judeo-Christian intolerance, to modern American movements. O’Neil, Craig and Kathleen Ritter. Coming Out Within: Stages of Spiritual Awakening for Lesbians and Gay Men, the Journey From Loss to Transformation. New York: Harper Collins, 1992. Explores the process of spiritual healing and wholeness necessary for gay and lesbian people. Helpful for pastors and helping professionals as well as gay and lesbian people. Rasi, Richard A. and Lourdes Rodriguez-Nogues, eds. Out in the Workplace: The Pleasures and Perils of Coming Out on the Job. Los Angeles: Alyson, 1995. Explores questions and dangers of coming out or not on the job. Signorile, Michaelangelo. Outing Yourself. New York: Random, 1995. How to come out to your family, your friends, and your coworkers (subtitle). For Children and Youth Be Yourself: Questions & Answers for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth. A booklet available from PFLAG. Call 1-800-4-FAMILY. Gailmor, Jon. Childish Eyes. Softwood Recordings, PO Box 65, Lake Elmore, VT 05657. 802/888-3625. One song, “Welcome Back,” is about a child and his gay father. Romesburg, Don. Young, Gay, & Proud. 4th ed. Boston: AlyCat (Alyson), 1995. Should be on every pastor, counselor, and teacher’s bookshelf for lending or give-away! Willhoite, Michael. Uncle What-Is-It Is Coming to Visit. Boston: Alyson Wonderland, 1993. Older friends alarm two children about what “gay” means, but their gay uncle shatters myths. Parents of Lesbigay Children Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby. San Francisco: Harper, 1995. The story of a mother’s turn-around after the suicide of her gay son whom she had told to pray that his homosexuality would be healed by God. Borhek, Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1993. Sections for gay/lesbian folks and parents. Cantwell, Mary Ann. Homosexuality: The Secret a Child Dare Not Tell. San Rafael: Rafael, 1996. “Without words, without warning, without knowing it,” writes Mary Ann, “we teach many of our children that there’s something wrong with them. We teach them so well that they hide themselves to protect us from discovering that they are something unacceptable to us.” Switzer, David K. Coming Out as Parents: You and Your Homosexual Child. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1996. A complete rewrite of Parents of the Homosexual. Deals with common first responses of parents who learn a child is gay or lesbian. Good resource for pastors/counselors also. L/G/B/T and Christian Bess, Howard H. Pastor, I Am Gay. Palmer, Alaska: Palmer, 1995. One pastor’s journey with gays and lesbians. Invites pastors and churches members to accept the challenge of reconciliation with them. Comstock, Gary David. Unrepentant, Self-Affirming, Practicing: Lesbian/Bisexual/Gay People within Organized Religion. New York: Continuum, 1996. Thoroughly documented description of lesbian/ bisexual/gay/transgendered people within organized religion and how they view religion. A much-needed “flip-side” of studies on l/g/b/t folks. Morrison, Melanie. The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Stories and sermons reflect on the struggles and joys of coming out and seeking justice. Spahr, Jane Adams, et. al., eds. Called OUT: The Voices and Gifts of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Presbyterians. Gaithersburg: Chi Rho, 1995. The section headings tell the focus: OUT-Stretched Hand of God, OUT of Order, OUT and Organizing, OUT from the South, OUT and Moved On. Tigert, Leanne. Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Gay/Lesbian/Bisexuals in the Church. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1996. Storytelling and interviews offer a psychological and theological understanding of the journeys of g/l/b Christians. Straight Spouses Buxton, Amity Pierce. The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming- Out Crisis for Straight Spouses. rev. ed. Wiley, 1994. Based on five years of research and hundreds of interviews with straight spouses of lesbian and gay partners. Explores major concerns that spouses confront when spouses come out to them. Good background for pastoral counselors. Gochros, Jean Schaar. When Husbands Come Out of the Closet. New York: Harrington Park, 1989. Helpful and sensitive discussion for women with gay or bisexual husbands or partners. Summer 1996 29 MORE LIGHT Movement News Southminster Presbyterian Church Beaverton, Oregon Southminster, located in a suburban community in the Greater Portland area, views itself as a challenging and supportive community where faith is taken seriously and issues are discussed openly and honestly. The Rev. Jim Petersen, who has served the congregation for twenty-eight years, recalls the anxiety fifteen years ago when he invited a Presbyterian pastor who had recently “come out” to share in a dialogue sermon. Ten years later the same pastor was invited back and the congregation began a process leading to a More Light Declaration, adopted in the midst of a capital funds drive! St. Andrew Presbyterian Church Austin, Texas St. Andrew, located in a conservative area, now has a membership of 425, having lost almost 150 members in the process of becoming a More Light Church. Pastor James Rigby reports that “While we lost members and money, we gained integrity and a sense of being truly committed to Christ.” The Session, which had voted to stand on principle even if they lost the building, has been supported by the congregation and has helped move the church to the place where sexual orientation is no longer an issue in the election of leadership. Epiphany United Church of Christ St. Louis, Missouri The 80 members of this urban congregation are committed to serving the physical and spiritual needs of their community and to reflecting (in the church’s makeup) the diversity of that community. The church has recently begun a “Block Care” program—an outreach of “presence and invitation” where Epiphany individuals or teams are assigned to blocks in the neighborhood to get to know residents and their concerns and build relationships. Church members also participate in a monthly ecumenical gay/lesbian worship service. First Congregational UCC Waukegan, Illinois This 80-member congregation is committed to the spiritual journey and community outreach. With the assistance of a consultant from the Alban Institute, it has been revitalizing its membership and mission. Four task teams are working on evangelism, identity development, resources, and team ministry. The congregation has added books on gay/lesbian issues to its library and keeps informed about current issues (e.g., local and national action on same-sex marriages and other ONArelated topics) through a bulletin board in the narthex. More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Dayton Avenue Presbyterian Church St. Paul, Minnesota Located less than a mile from the state capitol in a transitional urban area, the Dayton Avenue congregation of slightly less than 200 members is multi-racial and multi-cultural. It has a long history of ministry in its neighborhood. The issue of church and homosexuality was raised by the congregation’s social action committee, which led to a two-year process involving the entire congregation. The Rev. H. David Stewart believes that study prior to Session action enabled people who do not agree with one another to remain active in the church and also encouraged those who were not at all sure the church would risk taking a position. First Presbyterian Church Albany, New York A downtown church only a few blocks from the State Capitol, First Presbyterian is a progressive congregation of more than 700 members. It has a long history of being intentionally inclusive in its membership and programs. Its interim pastor, the Rev. Robert Conover, reports that declaring itself a More Light Church has helped the congregation define itself to its own members and the surrounding community. The decision has also helped shape its sense of mission for the future. Presbyterian New England Congregational Church Saratoga Springs, New York Located in a semi-resort community which is the home of Skidmore College, this church of 325 members has been served for the last twenty-three years by the Rev. John Ekman who reports that “the church is united in a common desire to avoid boring religion.” After the congregation earlier refused to support a decision to become a Sanctuary Church, the Session proceeded with its More Light declaration only after gaining broad-based support within the congregation. Few openly gay and lesbian members attend, so the Session’s action reflects its sense of mission and commitment to justice in the church. OPEN AND AFFIRMING 30 Open Hands First Congregational UCC Santa Rosa, California This vital, inclusive, growing congregation, located in the north Bay Area near San Francisco, has 195 members. Arising out of significant changes in its membership (through deaths, the comings and goings of members, and new people coming in), the church has been involved in a self-study which will ultimately lead to a mission statement. Through conversations and the recording of oral histories, members are learning about the faith story of individuals and the church as a community. Part of that story will be their numerous experiences of being a resource to other churches interested in the ONA process. Newton Highlands Congregational Church Newton Highlands, Massachusetts This suburban congregation of about 300 members is a “neighborhood church with a world vision.” The fall of 1995 brought changes and challenges for this faith community— the decision to become ONA and the beginning of a search process for a new senior pastor. The “interim period” has been an important time for congregational reflection on “who we are and where we’re going.” An associate pastor who is openly lesbian has given the church cause for celebration with the birth of a daughter last spring! Members of the church continue informal outreach to the gay/lesbian community and hope to begin a gay/lesbian “gathering group” this fall. Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church Houston, Texas Grace Church is a 75-year-old inner-city parish which has always been known as a warm and welcoming house of worship. In the early 1980s a strong core congregation decided to take a faith-filled approach to counter its slow decline by intentionally reaching out to the neighborhood in which it was placed—to share the unconditional love of Christ without hesitation or reservation. In the spring of 1995, Grace decided to put a name to this perspective on outreach as it affected the significant gay and lesbian population of the local Montrose area. The church council recommended adoption of the Reconciled in Christ statement (the first ELCA congregation in Houston to do so), which the membership passed by unanimous vote. Lutheran Campus Ministry at KSU Manhattan, Kansas The Reconciled in Christ process began at this LCM when the student group requested of the campus pastor an opportunity to study the issue of homosexuality and their Christian response. Thus began a long journey of prayer, Bible study, and discussion using “Can We Talk About This: ELCA Guide for Christians Preparing to Discuss Homosexuality.” Other elements included in the decision-making process were conversations with a lesbian Christian from another church, the synodical bishop, local board members, and pastors. The Affirmation of Welcome was adopted March 17, 1996, and the community “came out” as RIC on Easter evening, remembering Jesus’ appearance to the frightened ones who were locked behind closed doors. LCM at KSU is presently the only official RIC community of the ELCA in Kansas. Asbury United Methodist Church Phoenix, Arizona Located in the center of the city, this congregation declined for many years as its neighborhood changed. Then, a year and a half ago, a request by a local MCC congregation for meeting space opened a new avenue for ministry. Outreach as an “accepting” community has drawn in many new members—both gay/lesbian and heterosexual. Membership is up to about 140 and finances are improving. The congregation hosts a weekly feeding program for persons with AIDS. The music ministry is expanding with the addition of a handbell choir. Visitors comment on the “warmth and love” apparent at Asbury. Community United Methodist Church Slingerlands, New York Located in a suburb of Albany, Community UMC celebrates its 125th anniversary this year. In an area where many churches are large, Community’s 350 members are attracted by its “sense of community.” The congregation is building a Habitat for Humanity house with other UM churches and is active in outreach in the inner-city of Albany. The congregation reflects the diversity of its community in age, marital status, and sexual orientation. Epworth United Methodist Church Chicago, Illinois This 106-year-old church was once quite affluent. The transition of the neighborhood in the 1960s led to a period of decline. Eleven years ago, distressed by the death of a homeless person in the alley behind the church, members opened a shelter. Not long after, a tutoring program began for neighborhood children and youth. This strong commitment to mission in a multi-racial, multi-economic community is key to the congregation’s identity. Epworth’s 130 members are proud of their diversity. It is evenly divided among three groups of people: Filipino-American, African/African-American, and RECONCILED IN CHRIST RECONCILING Summer 1996 31 Anglo. “We have seminary professors and welfare mothers in this community of faith.” Epworth United Methodist Church Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Two years ago this congregation faced the choice of disbanding or reorganizing as a new form of ministry. A new pastor, Kathy McCallie, arrived in the summer of 1995 and began “striving to follow in the reconciling ministry of Jesus as a justice-seeking community.” Worship attendance jumped from 30 to 180. Located in a poor, transitional community, Epworth offers a free medical clinic, Spanish classes, AIDS care teams, and an after-school children’s program. Several neighborhood associations and community groups are housed in the building. The church program provides for a diverse congregation, with activities ranging from a quilting class for older members to a gay Bible study to dance lessons. Fellowship United Methodist Church Vallejo, California Fellowship UMC began as a Filipino-American Sunday School group which met in a private home. Since people of color were not readily accepted by mainstream churches at that time, this group dreamed of building a church where they could meet without fear of rejection. By 1957 a church building was constructed and it has become a home to people of all races. The congregation now has over 200 members and is growing. Having been the target of prejudice, the congregation— with almost no dissension—decided to open its doors even wider to include persons with different lifestyles and sexual orientations. On May 21, 1995, Fellowship UMC celebrated this decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. “We are proud to join with other United Methodist churches in opening the doors to all who would enter.” First United Methodist Church Schenectady, New York First UMC was founded at the center of Schenectady in 1789. Over the past century, the congregation has developed an identity as a strongly evangelistic, justice-oriented church—“we are working to minister with the city.” The congregation has been involved in the formation of most local justice-seeking and service organizations. An ecumenical food pantry is housed in the building as well as an agency which rehabs houses for lowincome families. The congregation’s 430 members are active in peacemaking and political causes. Sunday worship is broadcast on local cable TV. Plattsburgh United Methodist Church Plattsburgh, New York The Methodist presence in this small city on the shores of Lake Champlain dates back to the early nineteenth century. The congregation’s current building was constructed in the 1950s. Plattsburgh UMC’s 525 members have long been active in ecumenical ministries with persons in need. For many years the community provided ministry to refugees en route to Canada for asylum. The congregation houses a day care center, Headstart program, a Boy Scout group, and several 12-step groups. A new pipe organ was recently installed to support a strong worship and music program. The recent closing of a military base, one of the area’s largest employers, has brought about a ministry to families and persons in transition. Trinity United Methodist Church Atlanta, Georgia Founded in 1854, Trinity UMC lies in the heart of downtown Atlanta, across the street from city hall. This diverse congregation of 250 has carried out a ministry with homeless persons since the 1930s. Trinity Community Ministries now includes: Trinity Table, a soup kitchen; Trinity House, transitional housing; and the Living Room, a housing ministry with persons with AIDS. Located in the heart of the Olympic district, Trinity opened its doors this summer to thousands of international passersby for rest and water and to view displays including the Mennonite Peace Factory, PFLAG, Reconciling Congregation Program, Church Women United, and the World Council of Churches. New ONA Program Associate The ONA Advisory Committee (ONA Program, UCCL/GC) is pleased to announce the appointment of Kevin Measimer as ONA Program Associate for Higher Education. A graduate of Lancaster Theological Seminary, Kevin makes his home in Connecticut. In consultation with other leadership of the ONA Program, he will help develop and support ONA witness by UCC related colleges/universities, seminaries, etc. Persons may contact Kevin at: 255 Twin Lakes Road, North Branford, CT 06471. (KevinMeas@aol.com) Theme will explore civil and religious concerns about same-sex marriage. Articles needed: church and state as the “other partners” in a marriage; the marriage debate in gay/lesbian culture; overview of legal challenges/defenses of heterosexual marriage; historical overview of same-sex unions; theological articles on sexuality, unions, covenants, power/gift of ritual, changing morality issues. Hymns/songs/poetry/liturgy appropriate for same-sex unions are welcome. Write or call with idea: October 15 Manuscript deadline: January 15 Call for Articles for Spring 1997 Same-Sex Marriage If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. 32 Open Hands Reconciling United Methodists Open the Doors The Open the Doors campaign of the Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP) profoundly impacted the 1996 General Conference of The United Methodist Church which met in Denver, April 16-26. Delegates were greeted by Open the Doors posters in business windows, volunteers opening doors daily, welcome mats at hotel room doors, and “knock knock” joke cards. Over 10,000 names of Reconciling United Methodists were publicly displayed. Delegates heard painful stories of discrimination at a press conference. Youth, students, and seminarians chanted, marched, prayed, and sang for “open doors” at a rally. Caught in the Middle, a musical written especially for General Conference, moved 1200 persons to tears and laughter in nine performances. Over 400 persons reaffirmed their baptismal vows and celebrated holy communion at St. Paul’s UMC (Denver’s only RC). General Conference maintained unwelcoming positions, refusing even to acknowledge that “we are not of one mind.” After one painful vote, volunteers gathered to pray, sing, and console, and then returned to open doors in silence as delegates gathered for the evening session. The RCP will hold Threshold Meetings in thirty-plus annual conferences this fall as part of its visioning process. Presbyterians Protest, Support Civil Rights, Celebrate A thousand people marched in protest through the hall of the 208th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Albuquerque, New Mexico in July following a vote to send to the presbyteries for ratification an amendment to the Book of Order to prevent non-celibate gays and lesbians from being ordained or installed as ministers, elders, or deacons. If adopted by a majority of presbyteries, the amendment would make relief by judicial review for gays and lesbians seeking ordination much more difficult. The amendment adds a new standard for those seeking ordination: “the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage of a man and a woman, or in chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the Confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or installed as deacons, elders, or ministers of Word and Sacrament.” In other action, the General Assembly affirmed the church’s historic definition of marriage as a civil contract between a man and a woman, but supported “committed same-sex partners seeking equal civil liberties in a contractual relationship with all the civil rights of married couples.” The 73 More Light churches (those publicly willing to ordain gay and lesbian members to church office) were given the Witherspoon Society’s Congregation Award at the society’s annual luncheon during General Assembly. In accepting the award for the congregations, Virginia West Davidson, co-moderator of the More Light Churches Network, said, “The heart of the movement is hospitality—loving each other as we love ourselves. As love grows, mistrust and fear melt away.” A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist programs. ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card _________________________________________________________ Signature _____________________________________________________________ My Name _____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip __________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church __________________________________________________________ Denomination __________________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 (New area code as of Oct. 12: 773) SCN Dances at the Table The Supportive Congregations Network (SCN) conference, “Dancing at the Table: Re-Imagining the Church” invited participants to imagine and celebrate an inclusive church through biblical stories of rejection and redemption, original musical compositions, dance, and stories from congregations and individuals. Over 300 people, from infants to elders, gathered together in North Manchester, Indiana on June 28-30. “Dancing at the Table” became a home of the Spirit where a participant reflected, “This is the first time I have been able to fully participate in worship without feeling like an impostor...” Currently, 16 Mennonite and Church of the Brethren congregations publicly welcome gay, lesbian, and bisexual members. An additional 52 congregations are listed as “Exploring Congregations” through SCN. Several hundred individuals recently identified themselves as “Friends of SCN.” Episcopal Church Court Rules An Episcopal church court ruled on May 15 “that there is no core doctrine prohibiting the ordination of a non-celibate homosexual person living in a faithful and committed sexual relationship with a person of the same sex,” thus absolving Bishop Walter C. Righter of a heresy charge for ordaining an openly gay priest. “This hopeful decision should have implications for other Protestant communions as well,” says the editor of MFSA’s Social Questions Bulletin. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 12 No 1 - Airing Out Closets https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/810d46726c4046517f87681810c5b38b.pdf 75bd8d4653a5c2c1ab9b8318067df020 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document Valuing Differences Part 2 Weaving Community from Diversity Vol. 11 No. 3 Winter 1996 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American) the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 3 Winter 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality SETTING OUR LOOMS FOR DIFFERENCE Focus on Diversity 4 Dealing with Diversity 5 TOINETTE M. EUGENE Creating community from diversity begins with each of us as we offer our confessions, our convictions, and our commitments. Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way? A Poem 9 GAYE JAYNESDAUGHTER Difference—negative or positive—lies in the eye of the beholder. Crumbs from the Master’s Table 10 PAUL W. EGERTSON Inclusion seems good to the Holy Spirit! Does it seem good to us? The Caring Shepherd: A Parable for Children 13 MARGARET LIRONES Focusing on the shepherd’s actions rather than on the lost sheep highlights Jesus’ real message. DIVINE WEAVING IN PROGRESS Homosexuality in the Evangelical Experience 14 HOWARD H. BESS When dramatic conversion doesn’t work, then what? Valuing Differences, Part 2 Weaving Community from Diversity Winter 1996 3 ONE MORE SELECTED MOVEMENT WELCOMING WORD RESOURCES NEWS CHURCHES LIST 24 25 26 29 Next issue: Living with/Learning from Conflict All Things to all People 16 CORNELIUS KANHAI Becoming a welcoming congregation must not lead us into arrogance. Valuing Dif ferences: A Process of Experience 18 DEEANNA P. MERZ WITH AL DUVALL Learnings gained from local congregation lead to further steps in nurturing community. Transformation in Front of our Own Eyes! 20 DODY S. MATTHIAS Conference staff and cabinet members explore privilege and engage in steps of accountability. Valuing Dif ferences: Study Ideas 21 MARY JO OSTERMAN WITH DODY S. MATTHIAS Want to study this two-part series on Valuing Differences? Here are three activities. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Weaving Diversity and Unity: A Liturgy 22 CATHY ANN BEATY Celebrate unity in diversity through a liturgy. Weave: A Song 23 ROSEMARY CROW Sing your commitment to weaving Christian community. PICTORIAL: ONA Exultation p. 28 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Chris Wild Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Program (ELCA) 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA)) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC 4 Open Hands Our lives are enhanced and enlivened by the diversity of creation (not human creation alone). Let’s explore and celebrate the rainbow of colors and plethora of shapes that make it all interesting! Let’s seek to open up the ways in which we delude ourselves for the sake of “safety” and bland - ness. 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 Welcoming congregations weave a multiplicity of colors, textures, shapes, cultural identities, ages, genders, and orientations into a human tapestry full of difference. With our looms set for diversity rather than for sameness, we are creating Christian community. As we gather up diverse fibers of humanity and weave them into a whole, we weave the body of Christ— the holy people of God. —Editor Diversity is something that is seen, touched, heard. When we meet it, we can turn and run in fear or we can greet it and embrace it. Our welcoming congregations embody diversity; yet to be whole and alive, we still need to celebrate this diversity actively and intentionally. —Thoughts of the Open Hands Advisory Committee as they helped shape this theme for the magazine. FOCUS ON DIVERSITY SETTING OUR LOOMS FOR DIFFERENCE Winter 1996 5 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 To deal with diversity is to accept an open invitation to be as inclusive as possible in developing welcoming and reconciling communities of faith. To deal with diversity is to enter into covenantal choices that can bind us together as congregations whose confessions, convictions, and commitments honor the differences which enhance us as uniquely Christian human beings. “Dealing with diversity” is a lifestyle that renews us in ways that lift us out of the status quo and into the sacred spaces where we know ourselves to be transformed and transforming in an era which desperately needs conversion and change. Confessions True confessions are good for the soul. They are vitally important for the religious community as we reclaim identity and integrity in an era when complicity and conspiracy are symbolic of the sickness and sinfulness of our American society. What we seem to have lost is something as simple as respect— for each other, for the earth, and for the kind of values that could hold us together. Most of the social, economic, and political issues we now face have a spiritual core. Rapidly changing demographics and our ingrained habits of racism, sexism, homophobia, and classism will create increasing cultural polarization unless we begin to confess our common humanity and equality as children of God. The insatiable momentum of our consumerism will ultimately poison both our environment and our hearts unless we learn to confess and to reclaim our right relationship to the earth, its diverse cultures and peoples, and its abundance. Because I deal and struggle with diversity in painful and poignant ways every day of my life—not because I want to but because I have to— I need to begin by confessing who I am as well as who I want to be. I confess that my significant academic degrees were received, and my dissertation was written, in the School of Hard Knocks. As Zora Neale Hurston (premier African American anthropologist and “rumored to be lesbian” author in the literary era of the Harlem Renaissance) would say, “Ah done been in sorrow’s kitchen and ah licked de pots clean.”1 How many of us can confess to this? Can we say with conviction that we know the taste of disappointment, despair, deprivation delivered only and intentionally because of religious denomination, race, class, gender, or sexual orientation? Can we taste it? Can we smell it? Can we feel it? Can we choose to be in solidarity with it? That means taking it up— the way one reverently picks up a fallen flag...or takes up an old rugged cross. I confess that even saying this makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I feel more than a little bit like one of the old ladies of my home church, a black Roman Catholic Church in Oakland, California. Whenever I go home to preach, I greet the Mothers of the Church, those wizened and wise old women who have grown down and smaller with the passing of the years because they have borne the heat and the burden of the day. I look forward to an exchange with Mother Camille who always says to me, “Why, Chil’, Girl, how you all doin’?” and I say, “Well—just fine, Mother Camille. And how ‘bout you?” And she looks me in the eye, and she says with a straight face, “Why, Baby, I’m somewhere between ‘Lord, Have Mercy!’ and ‘Thank You, Jesus!’” As I seek to say something about “Dealing with Diversity,” the oppressions and ideologies of dominance, the abuse of power, privilege, and the abuse of persons which universally occurs within the interstices of sexism and heterosexism, of racism and classism, of rampant consumerism and capitalism, I confess that I am somewhere closer to “Lord, Have Mercy” than I am to “Thank You, Jesus.” I need to confess that I am black and that I am also by birth and academic training and denominational tradition, a western Christian. Because of that, I have inherited—and sometimes even handed on like bread gone stale—the pernicious dualism that western Christianity has held sacred between sex and God, between sexuality and spirituality, body and spirit, pleasure and goodness. By literally splitting us in two, the dominant ideology of western Christian culture has rendered us flattened facsimiles of fully human beings. We have been stripped— spiritually, physically, emotionally, and intellectually— of our capacities to delight in ourselves, one another, the creation, and its holy wellsprings. Lord, have mercy! I confess that I am a self-avowed Catholic Christian, a black, lesbian woman, made in the image and likeness of a mighty good God. I confess that because of who I am and whose I am, like Zora, I am no longer concerned about whether some folk count me “out” or “in” the official ranks of the church or the academy, or of polite or politically correct seminary faculty, or within the fold of respected civic society. My primary interest, spiritually and intellectually, is in empowering people— beginning with myself— to live a life that is characterized by justice/love, in mutuality, in right relationship.2 Thank you, Jesus! In dealing with diversity, in reaching for the reconciliation of God’s people, I confess that I must be accountable with and to those others who are also committed to justice/love for all. I may not always live out this value evenly or very well. Most of us do not. But the commitment is honest and strong. The promise that draws me to people who seek justice/love is that they will remind me that, even when I believe I am being more ➟ DEALING WITH DIVERSITY: Confessions, Convictions, and Commitments By Toinette M. Eugene 6 Open Hands so inclusive in my work, inadvertently someone is usually being left out because of my limitations. To that extent, I am helping hold unjust power in place even in my honest outpourings for justice/ love. I confess that I need to be more inclusive still. Lord, have mercy! Finally, I confess that I am able to stand more closely in solidarity with those whose radical politics and spirituality I have come to trust: those who know that we meet the Sacred in relation to one another and who understand that any power that we or others use in ways that are not mutually empowering is abusive. I look to such radical women and men, of whatever color, religion, class, sexual preference or orientation, to confirm in me a joyful commitment to live responsibly in this world. Thank you, Jesus! Dealing with diversity means more than just welcoming or recruiting people of color. It means dealing with and honoring human differences, confronting the racism, classism, elitism, and liturgical literalism that limits our pro-action and reaction. It means dealing with whatever limits our ability to listen longer than we claim our right to speak. It requires the confession that “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, Oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer!” Lord, have mercy! Community Query 1. What do we need to confess? Convictions Because of my confessions, I stand convicted, not as a criminal, but by the love of God for me and for all who struggle to deal with diversity, to honor diversity, to utilize diversity as a way to enter joyfully and completely into the kindom of God. To be convicted is to be convinced, to be sure, to know that the truth (though it may make us weary) can also set us free (Jn 8:32)! I have three convictions about the ways members of different races, ages, classes—people who are also gay, lesbian, and bisexual— can lead us in our struggles to deal with diversity as we seek mutuality, long for equality, and work for justice/love. Conviction 1: Sexuality is relative. It is more than coincidence that the gay, lesbian, and bisexual liberation movement is occurring in a time and culture which is passing from a scientific myth of Newtonian absoluteness to that of Einsteinian relativity. There is a relativity about sexuality that is not well served by those who, like Newton, feel they can confidently know the unbending “laws” of nature. Plato (working out of a Newtonian world view) said that homosexuality was unnatural because animals “didn’t do it.” However, Plato did not know what animals naturally do and not do sexually. Two prophetic gifts from the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community will be to teach humility to those who presume to know exactly what is and is not “natural” and to teach that what is natural varies with different groups, cultures, racial/ethnic values, and traditions. Sameness does not necessarily bring about solidarity or satisfactory solutions. Members of different races, ages, classes— people who are also gay, lesbian, and bisexual— can lead us in our struggles to deal with diversity As Alfred North Whitehead (working out of an Einsteinian world view) put it, “the laws of nature develop together with societies which constitute an epoch.” 3 Part of the Einsteinian epoch we are moving into will be an acceptance of the relativity of sexual lifestyles. With this acceptance, a new awareness will occur: The essence of human sexuality is in establishing faithful relationships and in the quality of right relationships, not in absolutist laws and principles a la Newton. Meister Eckhart (the medieval mystic) taught that “relation is the essence of a thing.”4 This relational spirituality corresponds beautifully with Einstein’s teaching on the scientific theory of relativity. Conviction 2: Faith is built on right relationships, not self-righteous institutions. Because lesbians, gay men, and bisexual persons have not been widely welcomed into ecclesiastical institutions, those who have remained have had to look beyond institutions for answers to our questions of faith: What matters? Does anything matter? A well of creativity can be tapped from persons who have learned to live marginally in institutions. They could be a powerful force in revitalizing very stolid institutions. Conviction 3: Difference is a basis for creativity. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons stand as witnesses to how people can indeed be creatively different and equal. As minority people, (the “Poor of Yahweh,” known in the Old Testament as “anawim”5), they have the potential to be more creative because they have touched nothingness in their being emptied and because they have been made painfully aware of their being different. The recovery of the body as spirit and the reclaiming of a more sensual spirituality and a less product-oriented love are particular gifts of the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community to the DIVERSITY FORUM: Toinette Eugene raises questions about confessions, convictions, and commitment at RCP Convocation, July 1995. Photo: Nancy Carter Winter 1996 7 church at large. By not splitting body and soul and by not equating sexuality exclusively with procreation (as Augustine did), they allow for the energies of the Spirit to flow once again. They overcome dualisms that neither Jesus nor the prophets ever imagined, allowing passion in its proper place so that compassion might be born. By removing sexual expression from the dominant culture’s productive motif, as if sexual love needs to be justified by having babies, they— like the author of the Song of Songs— can teach our society and churches to pause long enough to savor life and its divine delights. If it is true, as Gutierrez writes, that “the spirituality of liberation will have as its basis the spirituality of the anawim,”6 then the issue of First and Third World liberation, of feminist, womanist, mujerista, and male liberation, of North American as well as Latin American liberation, of white as well as black, brown, red liberation cannot be joined without the sexual anawim being listened to. When a society can allow for differences, it will— as historian John Boswell demonstrates the medieval church did—celebrate creative rejuvenation because of the presence of the anawim people in its midst. Perhaps it is not too late to begin to listen to those who represent the anawim in our midst. Community Query 2. Of what do we stand convicted? Commitments Having made my confessions and named my convictions, I next must offer my commitments. Commitments, promises, covenants, and communities develop best in the context of gratitude and thanksgiving for all that is and for all that might be in a future full of hope (Jer 29:11). In a spirit of gratitude to the members of the lesbian, gay, and bisexual community, I offer five commitments as we seek to deal with diversity as welcoming congregations.7 Commitment 1: To be in solidarity with the homosexual and bisexual members of welcoming congregations because you have been teaching us in the church “a hermeneutic of suspicion.” For far too long the church and its academy has been uncritical of its own assumptions in doing theology. However, anawim people, the faithful diverse and different ones so loved by God, have been teaching us a more healthfully suspicious theology. Those of us who are “different” in race, in sexual orientation, and in downwardly mobile class diversity, have taught us, for example, to distrust sincerity as a validating criterion for theology. Some of us used to think that when some Christians found homosexuality contrary to God’s will on biblical grounds, their sincere use of the scriptures should be respected, even if we disagreed with their conclusions. Some of us have come to believe that this is like saying that when white folk sincerely ground in the Bible their convictions that persons of color are inferior, we ought to respect that sincerity. Even the Southern Baptist Convention is getting over that old colorphobic chestnut! 8 Sincerity and elaborate uses of scripture are no guarantee of freedom from homophobia or of racism. We are, all of us, afflicted with those diseases. Anawim folk have taught us to be more creatively suspicious as well as subversive in doing theology. Commitment 2: To be in solidarity with gay, lesbian, and bisexual brothers and sisters because you have made the church more aware of its Christian tradition. For example, in pressing the question of blessing unions, you have made some of us more aware of our frequent errors in understanding the Christian tradition of marriage. So many have thought that clergy actually perform marriages and that churches have a special power to create a valid marriage. This is not so. Some of you have reminded the church that only the covenant of two persons with each other and with God creates a union. The church has the opportunity to bless, celebrate, and support a union. However, it is the covenanting process that creates a marriage, not the church or the clergy or a wedding service or a license. That applies to gay and lesbian unions as much as it does to those of heterosexual people. Commitment 3: To be in solidarity with the folk who emanate out of the homosexual and bisexual margins of our almost monocultural western Christianity because you have shown us a bigger church than the one we once knew. In quantitative size, this anawim group is a statistical minority. However, in qualitative size, we are no minority because we are large and making the church larger. We have had many reasons and many occasions to vote with our feet and leave the church. Yet we have stayed because we believe that the gospel is for everyone. We have stayed because we still bear the hope that the church might be yet larger Photo: Dale Fast Description: p. 17 Artists: Oscar Martinez and John Pitman Weber ©1973 more ➟ 8 Open Hands in stature, larger in the size of its soul, bigger in its integrity, greater in its ability to entertain a rich variety of persons, fuller in its strength of spirit to enable all people to realize their destiny to freedom, uniqueness, and worth. I thank God for this revelation and vision of a bigger church. Sacred clowns— God’s anawim people— do things backwards! Commitment 4: To commit to, and thank God for, members of the homosexual and bisexual communities who have chosen to become sacred clowns. There is an ancient tradition of the sacred clown— indeed, of Christ as a clown.9 And in the Native American tradition, the heyoehkah (sometimes negatively described as the berdache) were sacred clowns, honored in the tribe for their important and special functions of healing, and for their work as shamans.10 They were those in the tribe who did things differently, who challenged people’s thinking and shook them up, who kept them from becoming rigid. They were called “contraries” because they did some things backward, did things contrary to what others considered normal. I thank God that we have been shown by anawim people, in their contrariness, a heyoehkah response to AIDS. When the so-called normal response was fear and panic, sacred clowns danced backward and responded with love and compassion. When the world was talking about dying with AlDS, you were helping people to live with AIDS. When the “normal” response was to isolate, you drew people into community. When most people said that AlDS is not about us, but about “them,” you said, “This is about us all; our whole planet is sick and has acquired an immune dysfunction.” I thank you for dancing the dance of the sacred clowns. Commitment 5: To lift up the power and potential of liberating love to heal us all of our limitations, to forgive us of our sins, to reconcile us to ourselves, to God, and to the “other,” whoever and however different from us they may be. H.L. Mencken once described the Puritan as the one who deep down had a nagging sense that some people, somewhere, might be enjoying themselves. Well, I have a nagging sense that all of us are sinners. All of us are broken and need healing. Our sin, however, does not lie in living out our sexuality or in our particular sexual orientations, whatever they may be, but in our estrangement from love. My final commitment in dealing with diversity is to reiterate and to reinforce the need for all of us to find prophetic, radical, subversive ways to live and love in right relationships, with justice/love, wherever we are. Community Queries 3. What are our commitments? 4. How shall we respond? Liberating justice/love can teach us and comfort us in our efforts to deal with diversity, with confessions, with convictions, and with commitment. Carter Heyward insists that • To say “I love you” is to say that you are not mine, but rather your own. • To love you is to advocate your rights, your space, your self, and to struggle with you, rather than against you, in our learning to claim our power in the world.... • To love you is to be pushed by a power/God both terrifying and comforting, to touch and be touched by you. To love you is to sing with you, cry with you, pray with you, and act with you to re-create the world. • To say “I love you” means—let the revolution begin!...11 ▼ Source This article is adapted from a longer speech given at the Fourth National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations, July 13-16, 1995, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Copyright 1995 by Open Hands. Original speech is available on videotape from RCP. 312/736-5526. Notes 1For rumor, see Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens: Womanist Prose (San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1983), p. 88. For quote, see Mary Helen Washington, “Zora Neale Hurston: A Woman Half in Shadow,” I Love Myself When I am Laughing …And Then Again When I am Looking Mean and Impressive: A Zora Neale Hurston Reader, A1ice Walker, ed., (New York: Feminist, 1979), p. 19. 2The terms justice/love, mutuality, and right relationship are richly expanded upon by Carter Heyward in Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989). 3Cited in Donald W. Sherburne, A Key to Whitehead’s Process and Reality (New York: Macmillan, 1966), p. 93. 4See Matthew Fox, Breakthrough: Meister Eckhart Creation Spirituality in New Translation (Garden City: Doubleday, Image, 1980); and Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart (Santa Fe: Bear, 1982). 5See A. Gelin, The Poor of Yahweh (Collegeville: Liturgical Press, 1953). Also Ps 9:18; 82:3-4; and Zeph 3:12. 6Gustavo Gutierrez, A Theology of Liberation: History, Politics, and Salvation, trans. Sr. Caridad Inda and John Eagleston (Maryknoll: Orbis, 1973), p. 207f. 7This list is derived and adapted from James B. Nelson, “I Thank God for You: A Sermon for Lesbian and Gay Awareness Week at United Theological Seminary,” in James B. Nelson, Body Theology (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1992), pp. 183-189. 8See “The Era of Collective Repentance,” U. S. News and World Report, July 3, 1995, pp. 10-11, and “SBC renounces racist past,” Christian Century, July 5-12, 1995, pp. 671-672, for reports on apology offered by the largest Protestant body for “condoning individual and systematic racism in our lifetime,” a scene strikingly reminiscent of the apology four years ago by the Dutch Reformed Church to black South Africans for having provided religious justification for apartheid. Archbishop Desmond Tutu accepted that apology. 9Henri J. M. Nouwen, Clowning in Rome: Reflections on Solitude, Celibacy, Prayer, and Contemplation (Garden City: Image, 1979). 10Paula Gunn Allen, The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in American Indian Traditions (Boston: Beacon, 1992), pp. 197-200. 11Carter Heyward, Our Passion for Justice (New York: Pilgrim, 1984), p. 93. Toinette M. Eugene, Ph.D., is an associate professor of Christian social ethics at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary and a member of the graduate faculty of Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois. Winter 1996 9 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 Gaye Janesdaughter is a pseudonym used by a woman in deference to her partner’s need for complete anonymity professionally. The greatgranddaughter of a Presbyterian minister, she married an Episcopal priest, divorced, raised her two sons as a single parent for eighteen years, and claimed a lesbian identity in 1987. After a particularly painful discussion with a minister who said he didn’t think homosexuality was “natural,” Gaye went for a walk and saw the beautiful copper beech with brown leaves standing among green-leafed trees. Hail to you, O Copper Beech, Hail to you, O Copper Beech, flourishing in the wood. What tales of prejudice would you tell, if only now you could? Do all the other green-leafed trees speak to you of “norm” and turn their branches up at you with deep contemptuous scorn? Would they deny you a chance to live in their exclusive town, saying: “It’s not Nature’s way to make spring leaves red-brown.” And do you ever try to say: “I just came this way, you see. I never asked to be a Beech, just a happy, living tree.” But, perhaps, your neighbors see in you the contrast you present and view your dark leaves happily, unthreatened and content. Perhaps, they see your reddish brown highlighting their own green hue and rejoice in the fact that this wide globe can accommodate both them and you. Oh, would that the woods could teach us how to live like them in grace and show us how to enjoy the “others” of different styles and race. If we could see the differences as variations on a theme, then we could love, as God must love, Her little earthling dream. June 1990 Bigot-Trees or Nature’s Way? See 1 Corinthians 12:4-13 By Gaye Janesdaughter 10 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 Who Should Be Made Disciples? The first churchwide assembly was held in the first century, less than twentyyears after Pentecost. The minutes of that meeting are recorded in chapter 15 of Acts. The issue the Spirit put before the church then focused on which people were, and which were not, acceptable in the Christian fellowship. Jesus had sent his apostles to make disciples of all nations. But the first Christians were all Jews and apparently thought Jesus meant to make disciples of the Jews in all the nations. He certainly couldn’t have meant to include Samaritans, for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. And he certainly didn’t mean to include the Gentiles, for Jews do not enter the houses of Gentiles or ever eat with them. So what was the problem? Well, the problem was that the Spirit of God, without permission from the duly recognized apostolic leaders in Jerusalem, inspired a layman to preach the gospel and baptize some of the dreaded Samaritans. Only after the fact were the apostolic leaders brought in to evaluate those irregular baptisms. Worse yet, Peter, who was one of the apostolic leaders, and therefore should have known better, got into the spirit of things himself. Along with a couple of friends, he preached the gospel and baptized a Gentile. Only after the fact did he explain his unauthorized sacramental practice to the church. Amazingly, he did not justify his actions on either the grounds of scripture or tradition, but on a personal and subjective experience of insight from the Spirit of God. Finally, an outside upstart, ordained by God but not by the apostles, began making a habit of preaching to and baptizing Gentiles. The growth of Paul’s congregations was so rapid the church could no longer endure these happenings without coming to some consensus on their meaning for its life and ministry. So the first churchwide assembly was called together in Jerusalem. The question under discussion was essentially this: “Are Gentiles saved by the grace of God alone or do they also have to observe the laws of Moses?” Can you imagine the discussion which followed when the question before the house asked if it was necessary for Christians to obey everything written in their Bible: the Law and the Prophets? They had no New Testament. All they had was the gospel being orally preached and believed. The minutes tell us they settled the issue by a four-fold appeal: to the prophets of Israel; to the gospel; to reasoning from their own experience of the gospel; and to their own sense of being led by the Spirit of God. In the process, they used one part of the Bible to support their freedom from any obligation to obey other parts of the Bible. The result was a decision that has been honored in the church ever since; Gentile Christians are not to be bound by every command in the Law of Moses. But, because that Law was being read every week in the synagogues, most Jewish Christians continued to attend; and because many of them had a lifetime of religious education and conditioning that would not quickly be overcome by the startling new standards set by the gospel and the Spirit, the Gentile Christians were asked to avoid a few practices which, however erroneously, were still widely believed to be against the will of God. This momentous decision made by that first churchwide assembly required the reeducation of people away from some things their Bible and religious tradition had always taught them. Why? Because in Christ a new time had dawned and what was once not acceptable was now acceptable. How do we know? We know from our experience of the gospel and the leading of the Spirit of God among us as we dialogue openly with each other. What do we do? We change our policies from those of past times to those for the present time, asking people to be patient and sensitive to each other’s feelings during the transition. Can we be 100 percent sure we Crumbs from the Master’s Table Matthew 15:21-29 By Paul W. Egertson I feel strangely at home here at Wesley United Methodist Church (see Source, p. 12). Thirty-eight years ago, while I was a student at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, my wife was pregnant with our first child. Our doctor’s office was in the Wesley office building which used to stand next door to this church and we came here regularly for pre-natal care. Our baby boy was duly born at Fairview Hospital, not far from here. Twenty-one years later, he told us he is gay. I also feel right at home here in a Eucharist sponsored by the Twin Cities chapter of Lutherans Concerned and presided over by the irregularly ordained pastors of St. Francis Lutheran Church in San Francisco where my son is a member and has served as president. Yes, I really feel at home here. I hope you feel at home here, too. Many of us are in Minneapolis attending the Fourth Churchwide Assembly of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. These assemblies are times when Lutherans meet to deliberate on issues the Spirit of God places before the church. In every period of the church’s life, new issues arise and old issues are viewed with new eyes. Each time that happens, God’s people have gone back to square one and listened again to hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches. Winter 1996 11 have it right? No. The best we can hope for is the level of certainty that first churchwide assembly reported: It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us. Who Receives the Blessings? I’ve reviewed this ancient lesson because the issue it raises is not ancient at all. It comes up in the life of the church repeatedly. Every generation has to learn it anew, often in relation to issues that were not faced before. The story from Matthew 15:21-29 is a case in point. The date of that first assembly in Jerusalem we believe to have been 48- 50 CE, well within the lifetime of the first generation of Christians. The Gospel of Matthew is one of the latest gospels written, probably some thirty-five years after the assembly at Jerusalem. Matthew’s readers then, are second generation Christians who need to deal again with the question of the acceptability of Gentiles into the church. The point of the story is that a Gentile woman asks Jesus to heal her demon possessed daughter. The disciples want Jesus to send her away. Jesus tells her what many of the Jewish Christians who are Matthew’s readers personally believed: I am sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, not to the Gentiles. It isn’t fair to give the blessings belonging to the children of the house (read, Israelites) to the house dogs (read, Gentiles). The use of the word dogs here reminds us of how hostile the feelings between Jews and Gentiles were then. Each referred to the other as dogs. The Jews were dogs to the Gentiles because they denied the polytheism of the Greek and Roman religions. The Gentiles were dogs to the Jews because they did not believe in the monotheism of the one true faith. In other words, their mutual rejection was grounded in their religious convictions. What does this woman say to Jesus? “Even the dogs get to eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” What does Jesus say to her? “Great is your faith. Your wish is granted. Your daughter is healed.” And what did those early Christians learn from this story? The healing grace of God comes to people through faith, not through their racial or religious genealogy! It comes to women as well as to men. (This is not a story about a man and his son.) It comes to Gentiles as well as Jews. In other words, the gospel breaks through all the boundaries human culture and religion have created. Christians are no longer confined to live within borders Christ himself has crossed. It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to them. Who Does ALL Include Today? Just as first and second generation Christians had to learn this lesson in their times, so every generation of Christians down through the centuries has had to relearn it in their time. Our grandparents had to learn it in relation to the race issue in America. Are black people fully human? Does the Spirit intend for us to admit them into our congregations? My generation had to learn it in relation to the gender issue in America. This year we celebrate twenty-five years of ordaining women in our Lutheran church. But I was ordained thirty-five years ago and voted at least three times against seating women as delegates to our district conventions. Yet, the Spirit drove us during the 1960s to a new understanding of the Word that led to ordaining women in the 1970s. When this text in Matthew last came up for reading in Sunday worship, the message on the back of our denomination’s Sunday bulletin folders tried to connect the story with our time and church. It applied the lesson about Jews and Gentiles in the first century to our contemporary expressions of human division by a reference to women and then added: In our churches, the presence of children in worship, the needs of the disabled, the elderly, the voices of minorities may challenge us to reevaluate our mission. The Holy Spirit continues to call those we often discount. Note who are listed here as people we often discount: women, children, disabled, elderly, minorities. more ➟ 12 Open Hands Are there any people the church often discounts missing from that list of discounted people? Are there some people so discounted they don’t even make our list of the discounted? Only 5 to 10 percent of the world’s population! The people being placed by the Spirit before the church for full acceptance in our time are the gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons whom we are not yet comfortable even naming. If the Spirit is not facing us with this class of humanity for reconsideration, why has every major mainline denomination been re-examining its policies in relationship to them? And why has there risen up outside the official structures but within the fellowship of every major denomination a cadre of persons to bear witness to the need for change? And why has there developed in every church body a growing list of congregations willing to break the old traditions in the light of new leading from the Spirit by giving a public affirmation of welcome to gay and lesbian people? Each denomination has its own name for them. In Lutheran circles they are called Reconciled in Christ congregations, while United Methodists know them as Reconciling Congregations and Presbyterians call them More Light Churches.... So long as all is an exclusive word in our time meaning heterosexuals only, we will have to follow the New Testament’s example, saying: and also for homosexuals. If Christians in our time are to fulfill the Spirit’s call to become a fully inclusive church...then we can no longer omit these people from the list of those to be specifically identified for inclusion. In the early church it was not enough to say the gospel was for all, because all meant all Jews, but not Gentiles. So when the Word of the Spirit in that time was heard, those Christians made sure to specify that the gospel was not only for Jews but also for the Greeks. Paul’s letters are full of those specific designations. So long as all is an exclusive word in our time meaning heterosexuals only, we will have to follow the New Testament’s example, saying: and also for the homosexuals. If the church wants to keep gay and lesbian people from sitting or serving at the Lord’s table, it should not drop them any crumbs... or allow them to overhear the gospel. In the meantime, my son and you other gay and lesbian people may have to be content with the crumbs that fall from the Master’s table. But before you feel too depressed about that, let me tell you something about those crumbs. They are made up of the same bread being eaten by those who have a seat at the table. The same nutrients they receive, you receive. The grace given and received is the same grace whether from loaves off the table or crumbs off the floor. That grace accepts, reconciles, redeems, and saves all in like manner. You may have to wait for seating at the church’s table, but you are already eating at the Lord’s table. Finally, Only Two Options If the church is hesitant to take a stand regarding gay and lesbian people, it might be helpful to recognize that only two options are finally available. On the one hand, we can do what the first Christians did. We can continue to discuss this matter in Christian love with one another and if it seems good to the Holy Spirit and to us, we can remove both our rejecting attitudes and policies and announce to the world that for us all means homosexual people, too. Since there are many who have been taught from the Bible by the church that such acceptance is unthinkable, we will all need to be sensitive to those whose religious conditioning will not allow them to embrace the change. On the other hand, if the church cannot believe the Spirit is saying this for our time, then it should quit being so sloppy in its table manners and stop allowing crumbs to fall where those not qualified to receive God’s meal might happen upon it. If white Christians really wanted to keep black people enslaved, they should never have allowed them to sit in the balcony of their churches and hear the gospel. If Christian men want to keep women subordinate, they should not only insist women keep silent in church, as the Bible clearly commands, but also insist they not go to church at all, lest they hear the gospel and be set free. And if the church wants to keep gay and lesbian people from sitting or serving at the Lord’s table, it should not drop them any crumbs from the table or otherwise allow them to overhear the gospel. Why? Because the gospel is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. Any underclass persons who eat its crumbs, even from the floor, will be transformed and empowered in such a way that they will finally find their place at the table of God. It is to that table that Christ now invites us all, regardless of sexual orientation. Amen. ▼ Source This article is adapted with permission from a sermon preached at Wesley United Methodist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota, on August 19, 1995, in a Eucharist sponsored by Lutherans Concerned/Twin Cities. Copyright 1995 by Via Media, 385 Los Arboles, #222, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360. Permission to quote or copy must be secured in writing. Paul W. Egertson, Ph.D., a long-time pastor and educator, assumed office in February 1995 as bishop of the Southern California West Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He and his wife Shirley Mae have raised six sons and now have two grandsons. Winter 1996 13 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 12345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789 One, two, three...fifty-five, fiftysix... ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninetynine. (Sit back and let the children absorb this. They have been counting for a long time and expecting to reach 100.) Oh, dear, one is missing! Now this shepherd (touch the figure of the shepherd) could say, “ Oh, well, I have ninetynine sheep. That’s still a lot of sheep.” But this shepherd does not do that. This shepherd leaves the ninety-nine sheep where they are in the wilderness and goes searching (move the figure of the shepherd) over the hills...and in the caves...and behind the rocks...and in the bushes...and just everywhere until this shepherd finds the one that is lost. (Place the one remaining sheep with the shepherd.) And when this shepherd finds the lost one, he carries it on his shoulders and calls all of his friends and neighbors to celebrate with him! God is like this shepherd. If even one person is missing from God’s whole people, God searches and searches and finds that person and calls all of us to celebrate. In our church, we are happy whenever anyone knows God’s love. We celebrate, just like the shepherd’s neighbors. That’s what God calls us to do. (Slowly and silently put your storytelling materials away as the children watch. Then continue the discussion or dismiss them to their next activity.) ▼ Note 1This way of sharing stories with children is derived from the work of Jerome Berryman. See his book Godly Play: A Way of Religious Education (Harper: San Francisco, 1991). Margaret Lirones, director of Christian education at Centennial United Methodist Church in Sacramento, is a member of Davis United Methodist Church and lives in Davis, California with her partner and their two children. Her son Eric (below) was four when she first told this story in Vacation Bible School. Today we are going to hear a story that Jesus told. When Jesus was traveling around his country, he spent time with all kinds of people: rich people and poor people, healthy people and ill people, religious people and people who had never heard about God. Jesus talked to people in the fields, and by the sea, and in the city. He visited all kinds of people in their homes and he often ate meals with them. Now, some people thought they knew who was good to know. They didn’t like to see Jesus spending so much time with people they did not like. They grumbled and complained because they thought Jesus should be with them instead. Jesus spent just too much time with those other people! They complained so much that finally Jesus told them a story. It went like this: Jesus said, “Pretend that you have one hundred sheep. You take good care of your sheep. You find the best grass for them and water for them to drink. Sometimes you count the sheep to be sure that they are all there.” Let’s count the sheep! (Bring out the ninety-nine pieces representing sheep. Invite the children to count with you. Count slowly while you lay the items down in rows of ten so there can be no mistake. Remind the children once or twice that you are getting close to 100.) Misinterpretations of the Parable Children’s versions of this parable often describe the dangers a lost lamb might face and the relief it might feel when the kind shepherd rescues it. Sometimes the story emphasis is on a wandering sheep being welcomed back to the fold by ninety-nine who had better sense than to stray. The descriptions of sheeps’ feelings are not part of the biblical text. The unspoken message, “don’t stray,” becomes a warning against being “different,” wandering, getting lost, or deviating from the norm. This was not Jesus’ intent! This parable was originally addressed to the majority religious establishment, not to individual “sinners.” Jesus calls the church to be the neighbors who celebrate with the shepherd. The story describes a flock that is incomplete if even one is missing. It illustrates God’s unfailing care for each of us—and for all of us. That is a powerful message. —Margaret Lirones THE CARING SHEPHERD: A Parable for Children Based on Luke 15:1-7 By Margaret Lirones (Before telling this story, find 100 small, identical items. Pennies would work; ends of cotton swabs are better; bits of wool are ideal. Hide one in your pocket. Sit on the floor with the children in a semicircle in front of you. Silently spread a large piece of green felt on the floor and add felt cutouts of hills, a small piece of black for a cave, twigs for bushes, and a cutout figure of a shepherd.1 Start by showing pictures of sheep and shepherds in the dry, hilly countryside where Jesus lived. If possible, bring in a fleece from a sheep or samples of real wool for children to see and touch. Discuss the importance of sheep to the people and the ways that a shepherd cares for the sheep, taking them far over the hills to find grass and water.) 14 Open Hands I am an evangelical Christian. I use that word, not in the context of present national political divisions, but in the context of a particular movement in the Protestant Reformation. We evangelicals believe our tradition is firmly rooted in the Bible. My grandfather is a good example of the evangelical tradition and experience. John Henry Bess was a young hillbilly living in the rural environs of Bollinger County in southeastern Missouri. He drank too much. In today’s world he would be identified as an alcoholic. According to my grandmother, grandpa was drunk the day they were married. Her friends asked her why she was marrying that “no good John Bess.” Nevertheless, she did, and life was not pleasant. Then, in about 1885, a traveling evangelist came to Marble Hill, the county seat of Bollinger County. As was the custom, he brought a tent and sawdust for the aisles. My grandfather went to the revival meeting. He was convicted of sin, walked the sawdust trail, took Christ as his Savior, and was saved. Grandpa never took another drink. He joined the Baptist church, and he and Grandma raised their five children in the church. Their middle child was my father, who with my mother, raised their seven children in the church. The impact of Grandpa’s conversion has now reached into the fifth generation. John Bess’s great, great grandchildren are accepting Christ and finding salvation in the evangelical tradition. Understanding the Plan At the heart of the evangelical experience is the conviction that “If any person is in Christ, that person is a new creation; old things pass away, and behold, all things become new.” This experience of being born again has little or nothing to do with baptism, receiving of communion, or church membership. It is all about meeting Jesus and receiving him as Savior and Lord. The preacher who is true to this tradition ends every sermon with an invitation to receive Christ and experience transformation. We evangelicals have seen enough transformed lives that our confidence is unshakable. It is this mindset that is brought to the homosexual phenomenon. Without question the dominant evangelical Christian opinion of homosexuality is that it is a perversion of the intent of the Creator. The homosexual is a sinner by definition and any same sex action is sin. It is entirely understandable to this evangelical person why a transforming experience with Jesus Christ ought to be considered the solution to such a perversion of creation as homosexual attractions and expressions. It is a shock to such an evangelical Christian when dramatic conversion does not work with a homosexual person. When the Plan Fails In a certain sense, a young homosexual person is the perfect target for such an approach to Christian experience. Young gay and lesbian persons are looking for a way out of their dilemma. They learn quickly in their junior high and senior high school years that their sexual orientation brings a huge negative response from friends, family, church, and community. They are driven, out of fear, into silence, inner psychological manipulations, and passionate pleas to God. But these approaches prove ineffective. Desperation sets in. The homosexual person who is familiar with evangelical Christian faith decides it is time to get right with God and receive Jesus Christ as Savior. He or she walks the aisle. A pastor, a deacon, or a trained counselor reviews the plan of salvation. The young homosexual person repeats the sinner’s prayer of confession and verbalizes a commitment to DIVINE WEAVING IN PROGRESS 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456 Homosexuality in the Evangelical Experience By Howard H. Bess Winter 1996 15 of the college administration has been a very clear “thanks, but no thanks.”1 If Only... American evangelicals are not bigots, as some of my gay and lesbian friends perceive. Gay and lesbian persons are not evil people, as most evangelicals perceive. Each group needs desperately to be talking with the other. I believe that tens of thousands of gay and lesbian couples are living in virtuous, healthy partnerships that can be honestly affirmed by evangelical, Biblebelieving Christians. Further, the evangelical tradition is a rich expression of vital Christianity. It is my tradition. The possibilities are marvelous, if only communication can be established. ▼ Note 1The college’s “no thanks” is reflected in correspondence between president Dr. Duane Litfin and Wheaton College GALA. I, as a heterosexual alum, wrote to the president encouraging dialogue and received a letter from him reasserting the “no talk” administration policy. Howard H. Bess, pastor of a Welcoming and Affirming American Baptist church in Palmer, Alaska, is the author of a recently published book, Pastor, I Am Gay. He is also a new member of the Advisory Committee for Open Hands. Christ. Many times the new convert is encouraged to “pray through.” Honest, heartfelt pleas and commitments are made to God. Often a flood of tears accompany the experience and confirms the reality of the conversion. Many times the same sex yearnings actually fade. In reality, the yearnings have not left, but rather have been repressed. After a while the yearnings reappear. Guilt and rejection of self intensify. The promise of deliverance has become a horror of enormous proportions. As a pastor who decided long ago that I could not refuse pastoral care to anyone, I have heard this story dozens of times. Many of my gay and lesbian friends have gone through this process not once, but twice, three times, four times... Establishing Communication To further understand the tensions between evangelicals and the homosexual population, a person must grasp the importance of the Bible to an evangelical. The typical evangelical has rejected most if not all forms of hierarchical church authority. Authority rests in the local congregation—and the Bible is the tangible source of that authority. Evangelicals pride themselves in being people of the Bible. They are not easily influenced by psychological, sociological, or biological discussions or studies. If evangelicals in any significant numbers are to rethink their determination to address homosexual orientation by dramatic conversion, two things must happen. First, we each must engage in honest discussion of all pertinent Bible material. Christians who do not hold a high view of scriptural inspiration and authority will never be an active part of the discussions. If there is an appearance that the authority of the Bible is being undermined, evangelicals will leave the discussion table. However, within evangelicalism there has always been healthy debate about the interpretation of the Scriptures. Evangelicals are not theologically monolithic. I believe many evangelicals are ready to talk about the Bible, theology, and sexuality. Now we need people who are kind in nature, gentle in spirit, and gracious in discussion to provide leadership so that the conversations can begin. Second, honest discussion must begin to happen about a very sensitive area: homosexual lifestyles. Is there such a thing as a healthy Christian same-sex lifestyle? No progress will be made until communication is established between evangelicals and gay and lesbian Christian couples who are living in long term, committed, healthy relationships. Such couples are tightly closeted. They leave their closets of safety at great peril. Who will create the opportunities for sharing that will not hurt such couples and at the same time respect the concerns of evangelicals? I offer two examples of approaches that are not working. Recently, a weeklong conversation about homosexuality was sponsored by an American Baptist agency. Four regional discussions are scheduled for the next year by another agency of the same denomination. In none of the gatherings, past or planned, have gay or lesbian individuals or couples been invited to share their perspectives and understandings. How tragic. The people being discussed are not even being invited. Second, the Wheaton College Gay and Lesbian Alumni Association, a sizable organization and growing, has asked to have conversations with a newly formed Wheaton College task force on homosexuality. The response 16 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 A pastor shares his thoughts about inclusivity and arrogance in a sermon to his Reconciling Congregation. Perhaps your welcoming church is struggling with the same issue.—Editor Most of us live with a continuing contradiction in our lives. On the one hand, we need people to share our lives, to enter into close personal relationships, to share insights and information, and to interact in ways that shape our lives and theirs. We are, indeed, social animals, gregarious by nature. On the other hand, we have no desire to be with some other people. We avoid even minimal contacts, much less extended interactions or continuing relationships, with them. We sometimes exclude them from our circle without knowing anything about them, and without the slightest curiosity or interest to get to know them before excluding them. Sometimes, the distinctions we make are personal. We just don’t like, or just don’t want, to have anything to do with some people. Sometimes, the distinctions we make are social. We are born into an affinity group that excludes people in another affinity group. Jews had no dealings with Gentiles. Greeks considered themselves superior to barbarians. Serbians and Croats hate and kill each other. Palestinians and Jews live in the same land but in a relationship marked with fierce violence. African Americans live in the same society with European Americans but experience a completely different reality than European Americans. Think of all the people who are excluded from our circle about whom we have not even the slightest curiosity. We don’t know them and we have no desire to know them. Without knowing anything about how they live, we assume that they are inferior to us. We assume their culture is inferior. We assume their political and economic sys- ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE 1 Corinthians 9:16-23 By cornelius kanhai tems are inferior. We assume their theologies are inferior. What is more, we have no interest or desire to have any communication or commerce with them. In 1 Corinthians 9:16-23, Paul says: “I have become all things to all people...to the Jew, I became as a Jew...to those under the law...as one under the law...to those outside the law, I became as one outside the law...to the weak, I became weak...” Reconciling Within Many of us in welcoming churches feel very good about where we are. We in University Church feel very good about where we are. We feel good about being a part of this community. We value the openness and inclusiveness. We value the intellectual and spiritual freedom. We value the relationships and the contacts we have. We value the emphases of our ministry. However, just when we reach the place of loving where we are, we begin to approach the point of being exclusive. We value so highly our relationship to this community that we begin to close in on ourselves and risk becoming exclusive. As a Reconciling Congregation, we here at University Church value the atmosphere of our congregation where there are no longer distinctions between straight and gay. It has taken some of us a while to get past the difficulty of identifying persons by sexual orientation and focusing upon that quality as if it were paramount. “He is gay” or “she is lesbian” is no longer the most significant quality about any individual. Some of us still need to explore and unlearn our biases, including homophobia; some of us are in process. In former congregations I have served, just mentioning the word “gay” in a sermon could be the beginning of serious reaction and fallout from the congregation. The openness of University Church enables us to talk about sexual identity without scandalizing anyone. I am grateful to University Church for helping me to deal with the heterosexism with which I had been imprinted prior to my becoming a part of University Church. Reconciling Beyond Yet, as soon as I begin to celebrate our inclusiveness, I begin to feel somewhat exclusive and arrogant of those who are not part of a Reconciling Congregation. I betray the community by becoming exclusive— unless I remember that being a part of a reconciling community means that we are all still learning, that we are all still becoming, and that the difference between ourselves and another is a matter of degree rather than of kind. Being a part of a welcoming community like University Church places upon us a responsibility to share the experiences we have come to value. Our response to congregations and communities who are in an earlier stage of struggle with homophobia and heterosexism should not be one of smugness. Rather, it should be one of helping to bring others to the experience we have come to know. D.T. Niles, the Indian theologian, says that evangelism is “one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” By the grace of God, we have found bread here. That places upon us an obligation to share the good news with others. “I have become all things to all people, that I might by all means save some.” The special character of our community as an open, inclusive, and reconciling community puts us in a crucial place to witness to a wider community and society that is being destroyed by bigotry and hate. To be a welcoming, reconciling congregation must mean for us that we reach out beyond our walls, reach out beyond ourselves, and reach out beyond our self interests to effect reconciliation and healing for all. University Church has been discovering the power of being a reconciling community. In the fall of 1993, as we Winter 1996 17 new ways in which all people who are in spiritual pilgrimage can begin to respect each other, learn from each other, and find ways to work together to advance our common goals. We need to clarify our own theological thinking and become open to the theologies of other traditions. We need to begin to move toward a post-Christian theology which will get beyond the narrow exclusiveness of a Euro-centric Christian theological tradition to a conversation in which we develop a respect and a new openness to older theological traditions that can inform and enrich our own experiences. Reconciling Racially Finally, as a reconciling community we need to begin to move ourselves and others beyond racism. We need to confess that we are racist and to find ways in which we can deal with the white western European traditions which have enslaved and excluded other traditions. Someone pointed out to me recently that if we wanted to be attractive to nonwhites, we could begin by looking at the art on the walls of our building. Would art that celebrates other cultures and traditions, that depicts the Native American experience, that celebrates Hispanic culture, that depicts African American and African struggles, that celebrates the great wealth of the East, that comes from whole spectrum of the human enterprise, not be more expressive of a reconciling community? It would be a good place to begin to eliminate racism in our own experience. Some of us long for our church community to reflect the ethnic diversity of the larger secular community we serve. However, as long as we remain essentially middle-class-white in the character of our community, there is little that would attract and hold people who are of other races and cultures. We need to find ways to be a reconciling community which heals the brokenness and pain that racism inflicts on us all. All things to all people.... It is a challenge, indeed! But, for us at University Church, it is a wonderful opportunity. May God strengthen and encourage us in our ministry. ▼ Source This article is adapted from a sermon delivered on February 6, 1994, to University United Methodist Church, Madison, Wisconsin. Used with permission. cornelius kanhai, pastor of University United Methodist Church from 1992 to 1995, now serves Waterloo United Methodist Church in a suburb of Madison. He has also served as a board member of the Reconciling Congregation Program. FOR A NEW WORLD This mural, on the west wall of Parish of the Holy Covenant United Methodist Church in Chicago, was created by John Pitman Weber, Oscar Martinez, and other young artists from the Chicago Mural Group (now Chicago Public Art Group). It was dedicated on August 5, 1973. Meant to be a “window toward the world,” the panels represent the three elements of the church’s worship service: Confession (symbolizing the evils of our time), The Word (showing the promise of a new world where there is neither oppressor nor oppressed), and Offering (representing the dedication of our lives to bringing the new world of justice into our daily work. The mural needs renovation and a fund has been established. Thanks to current pastor, Bonnie Beckonchrist, for details of the mural’s history. Photo: Dale Fast Artists: Oscar Martinez and John Pitman Weber ©1973 sought to deal with hate mail by drawing together others in our city who might benefit from mutual support, we found an eagerness and excitement about this ministry. The Coming Out/ Coming Together service we helped lead (see Open Hands, Spring 1994, p. 21) and the continuing work of the coalition as they meet regularly for fellowship, support, and for planning other ministries have been exciting and gratifying experiences. Yet we need to continue to work to find other ways of exercising our ministry as a reconciling community. Reconciling Theologically I believe that the ministry of a reconciling community must go beyond being inclusive of lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals in our ministry. Being the open and inclusive community we are puts us in a special position of being able to create the climate for dialogue and reconciliation in an increasingly diverse religious/theological mix in our community. The diverse nature of our community in Madison places on us a responsibility to work for inclusiveness by drawing together Jews and Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists, Christians of many traditions, and earth-based religions into conversations and community. “Becoming all things to all people” might mean for us beginning to find 18 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 In the spring of 1994, my husband Tom and I decided to become therapeutic foster care providers. We had just finished graduate school in rehabilitation counseling. One Sunday, skimming the paper for employment opportunities, I saw an ad that read something like this: Foster parents needed to provide in-home care to a young man with multiple disabilities. This person will be facing a series of surgeries and will need assistance with independent living skills... Tom and I replied with a resume to the listed social service agency, thinking that this agency might have other positions available for skilled rehabilitation counselors. Thoughts of providing case management or in-house training related to disabilities came to mind for both of us. The director responded immediately, asking if we would be interested in fostering the person mentioned in the ad. Our reply was simple enough. “Well, we are not really in a position to care for someone in our home. Our schedules are hectic. We just need secure employment...” The director said she wished we would at least consider the opportunity because she felt our educational background would benefit this young man. Besides, she said, he was difficult to place given the severity of his disabilities. She gave us a run down of his life and what led up to his need for care at this time. “His name is Al. He has been institutionalized for nineteen of his twenty years. He is part of a class action suit against the institution. Now he has the chance to live in the community...” What followed was a harrowing list of disabilities and an explanation of the reconstructive surgeries ahead for Al. Al would be meeting several potential “foster parents.” Would we at least be willing to meet him? We agreed. A Decision That Changed Us All That conversation changed our lives and the life of our worshiping community. After we met Al, there was no question. The decision was made jointly between Al and the two of us. He came to live with us in June of 1994 and together we have crossed many bridges. In our first meeting, we asked Al how he felt about church and explained our active participation in the Clifton Presbyterian community. He was excited. Being in an institution, he had limited interaction with church congregations, but expressed a strong faith. We explained that Clifton was an inclusive church and part of the More Light Network. We talked about the homeless mission that Clifton created fifteen years ago. We explained how Tom is a volunteer bus driver, picking up homeless men at the stop in downtown Atlanta once a week, and that I am the food coordinator for the shelter. We also explained that Clifton is a small community, with a worshiping congregation of about forty people. From the beginning, Al expressed a deep understanding for disenfranchised people. He said, “Most people don’t care about homelessness. I am glad Clifton gives them a home.” In the months preceding Al’s placement with us, Tom and I took every opportunity to share about Al at church. We shared a picture of him to ease any shock for people who may not have encountered a person with facial differences. We explained what Al’s disabilities were, hoping not to color any first impressions. At the same time, we felt that if the congregation knew about his differences even before he joined in, they would be able to move past the differences. They would, we hoped, be able to meet Al and discover the gifts he would bring. With the best of intentions, the congregation embraced Al, sometimes even doting on him. Al says “I didn’t know what to expect. I expected them to be skeptical. I know my disabilities surprised them.” Some people were indeed skeptical, not only of Al becoming part of the church community, but of Tom and I signing up for such a huge “undertaking.” DeeAnna’s Journey I first became involved at Clifton Presbyterian as a volunteer in the homeless mission. Every night the men sleep in the sanctuary and every Sunday the mats are rolled away to make room for worship. The members of this church bring guests into their church home every night. Some guests remain for a very short time; others become residents. I watched volunteers, church members, and homeless guests enter into relationship with one another. People who seemingly had nothing in common, all very different and diverse, were teaching and learning from one another. People of different cultures, races, sexual orientations, genders, classes, and abilities were giving and receiving from one another. I eventually joined Clifton as a worshiping member, in part because I believed in the efforts of the homeless mission, but also because of Clifton’s commitment to inclusiveness and their decision to become part of the More Light Network. For years, before my decision to bring Al into my life, Clifton modeled the valuing of differences for me. Night after night, Clifton brought marginalized people into their home and offered hospitality. There was never any ownership of the residence; it was truly God’s house for all who dwelled within. I believe this witnessing allowed me to open my heart and home to Al. The irony is that those people in the Clifton community who were hesitant and skeptical about Al were the very people who were part of the witness. They were instrumental in bringing me to a place of truly valuing differences. VALUING DIFFERENCES: A Process of Experience By DeeAnna P. Merz with Al Duvall Winter 1996 19 Learning to Value Differences I believe we learn to value differences through experience. In my case, Clifton Presbyterian Church taught me, at the deepest level, how to value the differences of homeless people and people with different sexual orientations. Interwoven among the homeless guests were people with a variety of differences, including disability. However, as intimate as this portrait is, bringing Al into the worshiping community was a deeper cut even still. The fabric of Clifton was no longer woven with differences on the frayed edges; a person with ability differences was now worshiping in their midst and expected nurturing. Al expected more than a hot meal, a warm blanket, and occasional conversation. He wanted to be able to form lasting relationships and be valued as an integral part of the community. This did not happen overnight. Al and church members reached a level of vulnerability with each other over time. Al began to share his pain and his joy. He joined in the church activities and began seeing the pastor for weekly visits. He began asking for what he needed— from help to the rest room to a prayer request. People began to see Al, not for what he had overcome, but for his ideas and opinions. I asked Al what he liked about Clifton. He said very matter-of-factly, “Well, Clifton is like another family for me.” I asked Al how he thought people or churches could begin to value ability difference. He said: Go to places that have people with disabilities, like hospitals and institutions. Volunteer at places like that so you can begin to see what their lives are like. That’s how you get educated. Find a couple of people that you really like and have conversations with them. That way, the disability won’t be as frightening. Take someone with a disability out just to be with them. When you have someone with a disability in your church, educate them. I didn’t know much about being Presbyterian, or getting baptized, but members of the church talked to me and the pastor gave me some literature. My baptism was the greatest! It changed me. In fact, my relationship with God got stronger. It’s like when people get married and say their vows. I really am a child of God. Churches also need to be sensitive to language. Words like crippled and lame are hard to hear. We all just need to learn from each other. How Have We Changed? In the time that Al has been with Tom and me, the youth at Clifton have produced and staged a play about valuing different sexual orientations. Clifton has begun to move beyond shelter in their homeless mission. I have witnessed the building of deeper relationships as volunteers, members, staff, and other churches have engaged in a deeper level of commitment to the guests that reside at Clifton. We are now talking about how to make our church more accessible to people with disabilities. I have been a part of building deep, intentional, and inclusive relationships within my nuclear family and my church family. All of us at Clifton have taught and we have learned. We have given and we have received. We have grown and we have experienced! That’s how we learn to value differences. ▼ DeeAnna P. Merz and Al Duvall are members of Clifton Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia. DeeAnna works part-time at the church as food coordinator for the homeless mission. Al recently completed course work at the Center for the Visually Impaired and is now volunteering his time at the Disability Action Center. 20 Open Hands 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890 The strategic plan of the Eastern Pennsylvania Conference, United Methodist Church, is “calling local congregations to transformation.” In this context a new conference position, coordinator of human relations, was created. A major emphasis of this position, which Dody Matthias has held for less than a year, is to acknowledge the brokenness of racism and to discern God’s healing purpose. Since, however, the roots of prejudice and privilege are intertwined, the model that Dody proposes here may well be instructive for those working on brokenness due to privileges of age, gender, orientation, class, weight, ability, or health. —Editor The acknowledgment of racism is very painful for white (European- American) people since we have been socialized into it. We have had little support in developing ways to look at racism and, for that matter, to even know what it is and how it is rooted in all the systems of this society. To begin to comprehend this sin, we need a life of prayer and of reading and seeking the Word of God, for it is this truth that sets us free. Beginning Attempt The Eastern Pennsylvania conference staff and cabinet members first participated in an all-day event. We got in touch with white privilege,1 explored the definition of racism as power to enforce prejudice, and discussed a powerful video, The Color of Fear, produced by Lee Mun Wah following the L.A. uprisings.2 Since that day-long event, we have held a four-part follow-up. Biblical Reflection: Part 1 We read and reflected on Ephesians 2:13-16. Emphasis was on: a. Our responsibility is not to rebuild the dividing wall that God has already broken down. We were reintroduced to the fact that white privilege is one way we rebuild the dividing wall of racism. b. It is in the flesh of Jesus that groups become one. Being part of the body of Jesus means no walls of division. When we separate from one another, it is we who have chosen to be outside the body of Jesus. Assumptions and Consequences: Part 2 We saw and discussed the video Free Indeed, a drama of four white, middle-class young adults who play a card game as a prerequisite for doing a service project for a black Baptist church.3 Their ensuing discussion addresses issues of accountability, unseen assumption, success, and what racism does to white people. Identification and Commitment: Part 3 White (European-American) conference staff and cabinet members were invited to identify three white privileges directly related to their jobposition within the cabinet or staff and then to respond to the following questions: a. How do these privileges affect you? b.What action will you take to address white privilege within yourself and your position? Accountability: Part 4 White persons on the conference staff and cabinet shared their responses to the questions above, naming how the privilege they identified affected them and the action they would take. White staff and cabinet members then chose a white partner to whom to be accountable. Finally, the two white partners turned over hand-written cards describing their actions to a person of color on the staff/cabinet. The point was made that white people are to hold one another accountable and be accountable to people of color. A process was set up whereby the white person “checks in” with her/his partner as a support measure for the new chosen behavior. The partners regularly check in with the person of color who holds their cards, reporting their progress on their chosen action taken to address white privilege. Actions chosen by white conference staff and cabinet members included behaviors in setting aside privilege. For example, one cabinet member who had a role of power and authority within a particular conference committee put his white privilege to that role aside so that an African-American man could participate. The white cabinet member felt this to be “freeing.” Another action to address privilege was a decision to change the rules so that people of color would always be at the table in discussions and decisionmaking that affected their destiny. This change has already resulted in “access to the table” being gained by someone who otherwise wouldn’t have been part of decisions crucial to the person/group. Ac-count’a-bil-i’ty: Answerable to... White people are answerable to people of color viz a viz their work on undoing/dismantling/ de-constructing racism. We know from experience that well-intentioned white people easily can make matters worse if we do not check out our intended anti-racist actions with the people who will be affected by our actions. That’s why, in dealing with racism, white people are accountable to people of color. In the same way, in undoing sexism, men are accountable to women; in undoing heterosexism, heterosexual women and men are accountable to gay/lesbian/bisexual people. TRANSFORMATION IN FRONT OF OUR OWN EYES! By Dody S. Matthias Winter 1996 21 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 1234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567 Participant Reactions It is difficult for white people to think in terms of being accountable to people of color. To be part of the body of Jesus (Ephesians passage above) is to be interdependent and accountable. White persons are beginning to see this as liberating, being “free indeed of white privilege and how we play the game.” African-American staff and cabinet members felt this to be “a positive, much-needed experience, my first of this kind in the conference. I trust this is just a beginning.” Closed with Prayer O God, you made us in your image and redeemed us through Jesus. Look with compassion on your people— your body in this world. Take away the arrogance and hatred which infect our hearts; break down the walls that separate us; unite us in one body of love; and through our struggle and confusion, work to accomplish your will. Next Time As a beginning attempt, next time I would start with a shorter session, using parts 1-4, rather than the film. I would let people “sit” awhile with those parts before going on to an all-day event. The Color of Fear film is a very powerful piece and can be overwhelming to some people, especially as a beginning effort.▼ Notes 1See Open Hands, Fall 1995, especially “Making Tangled Roots Visible” and “Identifying Race Privilege: From One White to Another.” 2Lee Mun Wah, The Color of Fear. Stir Fry, 1222 Preservation Parkway, Oakland, CA 94612. (510)419-3930. Rental: $200. 3Free Indeed is available from the Mennonite Central Committee, PO Box 500, Akron, PA 19501-0500. Cost: $20. Dody S. Matthias, a member of St. John Lutheran Church in Potstown, Pennsylvania, is part of the justice teaching collective, HUPERETAI. She wrote Working for Life: Dismantling Racism (see p. 25). She also writes poetry. 1. Struggle with Definitions: Develop class definitions of racism, sexism, heterosexism, ageism, classism, ableism... The common elements are prejudice (an attitude), discrimination (an action), privilege (a position), and power (an action). How do they fit into the definitions? Tip: to make the definitions more than statements about individual prejudice or discrimination of one person or group against another, we need to recognize the place of one group’s power (because of their privilege) to enforce prejudice.1 For example, people of color may be prejudiced against white people and individually discriminate against them but white people hold the power to enforce prejudice against people of color. Les/bi/gay and transgendered people may be prejudiced against heterosexual people and individually discriminate against them, but heterosexual people hold the power to enforce prejudice against les/bi/gay and transgendered people. 2. Check your Attitude Before and After: Create a worksheet using psychologist Dorothy Riddle’s Attitude Continuum: Repulsion—Pity—Tolerance—Acceptance— Support—Appreciation2 Include below the continuum a short description of each point. Ask participants to mark this continuum privately at the beginning of your study. If you are studying multiple forms of oppression, mark the form for each. At the end of the study, ask class members to mark the continuum again. Ask them to discuss with one other person in class why they moved (or didn’t move) on the continuum. Possible discussion question: How does my privilege affect my attitude? For a more communal and visual experience, print each word of the continuum on a separate sheet of paper. Place those word-cards on the floor in the continuum order, leaving good space between each word. Ask the class to stand where they were at the beginning of the course; then ask them to move to where they are at the end of the study. Discuss feelings and insights. 3. Check your Actions Before and After: Create a similar form using the action continuum in The Welcoming Congregation: Oppressing—Denying/Ignoring—Recognizing/ Not Acting—Recognizing/ Acting—Educating Self—Educating Others—Supporting/Encouraging— Initiating/Preventing3 Include short descriptions of each of the points. Use this form at the beginning of a study series as described above. Give class members time to explore silently or with others their self-evaluations on how they act. Possible discussion question: How does my own privilege affect how I act or don’t act? In a later session, engage the class in commitment/accountability discussions and action decisions.4 In the last session of your study, ask class members to check the action continuum again, noting any movement they have made. Possible discussion: How has my commitment to a particular action affected my place on the continuum? ▼ Notes 1See Matthias, this issue, p. 20. 2Scott W. Alexander, The Welcoming Congregation (The Unitarian Universalist Association, 25 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02108- 2800), p. 58, for short descriptions of this attitude continuum. 3Ibid., p. 59. A set of slightly different descriptions is found in Warren J. Blumenfeld and Diane Raymond, Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life Upd. and exp. ed. (Boston: Beacon, 1993), pp. 258-62. 4See Eugene, this issue, p. 7; Matthias, this issue, p. 20 ; and Matthias, Working for Life, pp. 81-82 (full description in Selected Resources p. 25). VALUING DIFFERENCES: Study Ideas By Mary Jo Osterman with Dody S. Matthias 22 Open Hands Weaving Diversity and Unity: A Liturgy of Celebration By Cathy Ann Beaty Greeting One: We are called to be a New Community, rejoicing in our diversity, witnessing to God’s promise of new life. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. One: We have gathered to celebrate the tapestry that the diversity of our lives creates. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. One: May our presence and our worship proclaim God’s truth: Our unity is God’s resurrection hope. All: We are weaving God’s New Community in God’s image. Hymn of Praise “Weave” verse 1 Acknowledging our Humanness One: Giver of New Life, You have called us together from many places and You offer to set us free if we trust in You. All: Yet, more often than we care to admit, we cling to that which oppresses us because it feels familiar and secure— and liberation calls us to unknown responsibilities. May our fears and our doubts be transformed through the liberating life of Jesus Christ. May we be challenged and empowered to accept responsibility for co-creating our own lives in relationship with You. And may we find the courage and boldness to overcome the conventional categories we place on ourselves and others, that— freed from stereotypical thinking—we might discover the beauty and diversity that is Your gift to us. Amen. Affirming our Humanness All: Our individual uniqueness is a gift of love, our diversity a gift of grace, and our unity a vision of hope. One: May we celebrate the beauty and wonder that God is weaving through us, God’s New Community. Let us share the Peace of Christ with one another. Hymn of Thanksgiving “Weave” verses 2 & 3 Going Forth into the World with Peace One: May our hands reach to one another in hope. All: May our hearts overflow with compassion. One: May our lives embrace one another in peace. All: May our spirits soar with God’s promise of new life in community. Note The print part of the liturgy may be reprinted for local worship events only. Other uses, please contact Open Hands. Please contact Rosemary Crow for all reprinting of the song. Cathy Ann Beaty is pastor of Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Spirit of the Lakes, which was started as an inclusive community, is an Open and Affirming congregation. Sustaining the Spirit Winter 1996 23 Copyright ©1979 by Rosemary Crow. For permission to reprint, contact her at 33 Dearhaven Lane, Ashville, NC 28803. (704) 684-2223. Rosemary Crow, composer and singer, has published seven albums. “Weave” was the theme song for the Tri-Lutheran Women’s Convocation, American Baptist Women in Ministry Conference, and national and international conventions of the Girl Scouts of America. WEAVE by Rosemary Crow 24 Open Hands On Weaving Community from Diversity In the kindom of God an all-inclusive, divine weaving of community will perhaps occur. It’s certainly a marvelous vision! In the meantime, given our earthly, limited reality, many inclusivity discussions make me downright uneasy. In the first place, I am uneasy because all-inclusive diversity is not really what we’re seeking. Muttered under our breath is usually at least one disclaimer to this ideal. We may include all Christians, but exclude other faiths as valid in God’s holy community- in-progress. We may include moderates, conservatives, and evangelicals, but not fundamentalists. We embrace certain analytical approaches and discard others. We insist on certain creeds or no creeds. We insist on various positions on ordination, abortion, or how to interpret particular biblical passages. When we speak within our various “communities,” we seem to know (or are soon told!) what the real boundaries of inclusivity are. “Of course, we don’t mean the serious fundamentalist point of view; look at what fundamentalism has wrought in other countries.” Or, “of course, we don’t include serious feminist analysis…” Or, “of course, Christianity is superior...” Etc. Etc. Etc. In the second place, I am uneasy because in the midst of revolutions of mammoth proportions those who place more value on some positions are often dismissed out-of-hand with such epithets as radical, marginal, extreme, out-of-touch, or “ideology rather than analysis.” Usually, the dismissals come from privileged mainstream persons, groups, or institutions enforcing their own prejudices. In the third place, I am uneasy when some who cry “diversity is all” would have us believe that currently competing alternatives are equal so we should just blend them. This is the essence of tokenism: We let you into our system, but don’t rock the boat by questioning us. Diversity, in such hands, becomes a tool to maintain centuries-old beliefs and discriminatory customs. It becomes a stealth weapon for the powerful and privileged to hang on to both. How do we work with the divine weaving-in-progress? Certainly, we need to respect people who are different from us. Certainly, we need to be open to encountering different ideas. Closing ourselves off from difference ensures that we’re limiting the divine weaving-in-progress. Being in dialogue with different kinds of people and diverse ways of thinking and believing is critical to the weaving of God’s community. Still, having faced into difference rather than turning away from it, we remain confronted with several tasks. Toinette Eugene (p. 5) outlines three: confession, conviction, commitment. Paul Egertson (p. 10) underscores biblical interpretation and witnessing to our beliefs. Dody Matthias (p. 20) outlines a process of accountability. As they imply, we still need some set of values or criteria by which to judge our diversity-building process. Which stances are faithful, loving, forgiving, just, charitable? Which stances add to the divine weaving-inprogress? Which limit or negate that weaving? My set of values, based on a reading of scripture informed by biblical criticism methods, liberation theology, and feminist analysis, judges claims of inclusivity based on whether or not they (a) are justice-based and liberation-oriented, (b) acknowledge the divine spark in every person and in the natural world, (c) involve a painful, but necessary, giving up of privilege to equalize power, and (d) promote accountability— to God and to persons and groups who have been victimized by those who hold the power to enforce prejudices. What are your values? Editorial If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Second Call for Articles for Fall 1996 Gender and Transgender: Exploring the Issues, Sharing the Stories We welcome additional articles, stories, and other resources for our gender and transgender theme. We encourage transgendered people to write of their personal journeys, especially as those relate to religious issues and acceptance (or non-acceptance) in a church community. We invite pastors and lay people to write about their personal experiences of ministering to and with transgendered people in a local congregation. What concerns have risen? What joys and gifts have been received? Let us hear from you! Write or call with idea: April 1 Manuscript deadline: August 1 One More Word Winter 1996 25 Matthias, Dody S. Working for Life: Dismantling Racism. Lima, Ohio: Fairway Press, 1990. Sixteen learning experiences on dismantling racism through consciousness raising, education, advocacy, and activism. Order: Eastern Pennsylvania Conference, UMC, PO Box 820, Valley Forge, PA 19482-0820. Rothenberg, Paula S. Race, Class, and Gender in the United States: An Integrated Study. New York: St. Martin’s, 1995. Explores infrastructures and workings of racism, sexism, classism. Shearer, Jody Miller. Enter the River: Healing Steps from White Privilege toward Racial Reconciliation. Scottsdale: Herald, 1994. “A great primer, lovingly and encouragingly written without flinching from the truth. Helpful to those beginning to examine racism as well as those who have been on the journey for a time.” —Dody Matthias. Stroupe, Nibs and Inez Fleming. While We Run this Race: Confronting the Power of Racism in a Southern Church. Maryknoll: Orbis, 1995. The title says it. That All May Enter: Responding to People with Disability Concerns. Presbyterians for Disability Concerns, Education and Congregational Nurture Ministry Unit, Resource Division, 100 Witherspoon Street, Louisville, KY 40202. Video/Film Free Indeed. Mennonite Central Committee. A finalist in the New York Film Festival, this 23-minute video challenges white viewers to examine their privilege and what it is doing to themselves and to others. Study guide. Order: PO Box 500, Akron, PA 17501-0500. Cost: $20. Mask. Screenplay by Anna Hamilton Phelon. Directed by Peter Bogdanovich. 1985. Possible resource for group discussion on difference and disability. For Youth Duvall, Lynn. Respecting our Differences: A Guide to Getting Along in a Changing World. Minneapolis: Free Spirit, 1994. Explores nature of prejudice from point of teens’ concerns: fears/ discomfort, language issues/jokes, attitudes/beliefs, conflicts. Exercises, discussion questions, bibliography. Biblical/Theological Insights DeYoung, Curtiss Paul. Coming Together: The Bible’s Message in an Age of Diversity. Valley Forge: Judson, 1995. This resource addresses racial and cultural diversity from a biblical perspective by illustrating different ways people of color interpret the Bible and how these intersect with traditional white European perspectives. Lee, Jung Young. Marginality: The Key to Multicultural Theology. Minneapolis: Fortress, 1995. A new model to develop non-dominating contextual theologies. Solle, Dorothee. Creative Disobedience. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Critiquing obedience to earthly leaders and institutions as an unChristian virtue, Solle appeals to the life of Jesus who submitted to the will of God through creative disobedience rather than submitting to oppressive institutions of his day. Treat, James. “The Canaanite Problem.” Daughters of Sarah (Spring 1994): 20-24. Treat, an enrolled member of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation of Oklahoma, explores Matt 15:21- 28 by drawing parallels between Jesus’ “Canaanite problem” and white America’s “Indian problem.” William, Gregory, H. Faith before Faithfulness: Centering the Inclusive Church. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1992. While retaining hard-won emphases on tolerance, political involvement, diversity, and justice, this author suggests a shift in image from “mainline” church to “inclusive-evangelical” church as a way for churches to regain their center in God. Welcoming Work Adleman, Jeanne and Gloria Enguidanos, eds. Racism in the Lives of Women: Testimony, Theory, and Guides to Anti-racist Practice. Binghamton, New York: Haworth, 1995. Essays on anti-racism work in various aspects of life. Amado, Angela Novak, ed. Friendships and Community Connections between People with and without Developmental Disabilities. Paul H. Brooks Publishing, PO Box 10624, Baltimore, MD 21285-0624. Suggested by DeeAnna Merz for individuals and churches exploring new ministries. Barndt, Joseph. Dismantling Racism: The Continuing Challenge to White America. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1991. A pastor in the Bronx calls churches and individuals to the tasks of dismantling racism and building “a racially just, multiracial, multicultural society.” (back cover) New Movement Resources OK! We’re ONA. Now What? ONA Program, United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, 1995. 40pp. $8. Check: UCCL/GC. Order: ONA-UCCL/GC, PO Box 403, Holden, MA 01520-0403. Ideas on how your church can express its ONA commitment. Inclusive Faith. Lutherans Concerned/North America, 1995. 18-min. video. Order: Bob Gibeling, 2466 Sharondale Dr., Atlanta, GA 30305. E-mail: gibeling@aol.com. Promotes the Reconciled in Christ program through interviews, music, discussion. Selected Resources 26 Open Hands Brethren/Mennonite Churches Publicly Announce Their Welcome The Supportive Congregations Network (SCN) recently announced the first twelve Mennonite and Church of the Brethren congregations to join the network as “publicly affirming” congregations (see p. 29). They have adopted a written and public statement of welcome of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. SCN coordinator Jim Sauder notes that twenty-seven additional congregations are designated “accepting congregations” (but have not made a public statement) and still others are “exploring congregations.” For more information about SCN, write to PO Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406 or call 612/305-0315. Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Churches Face Dismissal Churches in Ohio and California that are members of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA) are finding their denominational loyalty questioned. Although not binding on local churches or denominational policy, the General Board of the ABC/USA affirmed in 1992 that “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” Some local American Baptist associations and regions are now using this statement as a “litmus test” of adherence to what some perceive to be a denominational policy. Action was taken in September by the American Baptist Churches of Ohio to remove First Baptist of Granville, Ohio, from membership solely because the Granville church is a W&A congregation. Similar action is expected in January to remove four California Bay Area churches from the ABC of the West. Although these churches will likely remain within the denomination, the constant barrage of misinformation, the repeated questioning of their Christian commitment, and the painful rejection by the regional denominational family is difficult for W&A pastors and congregations. Yet, while under attack, these churches remain loyal to the ABC/USA and to the affirming ministries to which they have been called by Christ. For more information, contact Brenda J. Moulton, Association Coordinator, PO Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. Lesbian/Gay Affirming Organizations Witness at NCCC National leaders of ten lesbian/gay affirming organizations, meeting in Oakland, California on November 13-17 in conjunction with the general board meeting of the National Council of Churches of Christ (NCCC), successfully influenced inclusion of sexual orientation language and issues in the NCCC’s Human Rights document. RCP Reaches Milestone of 100! Pacific Beach United Methodist Church in San Diego, California, declared itself a Reconciling Congregation on October 17, becoming the 100th Reconciling Congregation. No New Church Profiles this Time We know some of you were eagerly looking for your church profile to be here, but we needed more space to run the full welcoming church list (see p. 29). You’ll find your church listed there. Watch for many new profiles in the spring issue, as our movement continues to grow! —Editor RCP’s Open the Doors Campaign Builds Momentum The Open the Doors campaign is drawing the support of thousands of United Methodists across the country in a witness to the 1996 General Conference, the denomination’s quadrennial decision-making assembly. Noting that churches’ doors have too often been closed to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families, the campaign is calling on The United Methodist Church to “open the doors.” The campaign was launched at the Reconciling Congregation Convocation in July, 1995. Six regional Knock-Ins in October brought together 160 activists from thirty-three annual conferences to develop strategies in their communities and conferences. Knock-In participants created plans to enroll 9,600 Reconciling United Methodists, to communicate personally with their General Conference delegates, and to proclaim the Open the Doors message. As Open Hands went to press in mid-December, 2,000 persons had enrolled as Reconciling United Methodists, proclaiming “I join the witness to ‘open the doors’ of The United Methodist Church to the participation of all people, regardless of sexual orientation.” By February, 6,000 signatures are expected. Volunteer campaign coordinators have been secured in about one-half of the sixty-eight annual conferences in the U.S. “This is the largest, grass roots witness on behalf of the full participation of lesbians, gays, and bisexuals ever seen in The United Methodist Church,” noted James Preston, RCP outreach coordinator. “At the same time, we are also greatly expanding the base of the Reconciling Congregation movement.” Persons interested in enrolling as Reconciling United Methodists or getting involved in Open the Doors should contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. Movement News Winter 1996 27 ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Signature _____________________________________________________________ My Name _____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip __________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church __________________________________________________________ Denomination __________________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Programs. ADS GATHERED IN SPIRIT GAINING IN STRENGTH The first national ONA Exultation, meeting from October 13-15, 1995 in Cleveland, Ohio, was indeed “an exultation” due, in great measure, to the spirit and energy brought by 120 participants from all across the country. Many were from Open and Affirming churches in the United Church of Christ and Christian Church (Disciples) but a good number of those in attendance were from churches exploring or curious about the Open and Affirming process. Note Michael Kinnamon’s speech and Chris Smith’s sermon are available for $2.00 each. Send check (payable to UCCL/GC) with your name and address to: ONA-UCCL/GC, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520-0403. PLUGGING RESOURCES: John W. Lardin, Exultation program chair, highlights one of many resources available. ONE OF 8 WORKSHOPS: Gordon Svoboda II, a national staff person, leads a workshop on the UCC human sexuality curriculum. WELCOME: The Reverend Paul Sherry, president of the United Church of Christ, addresses Exultation participants. YET ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT: Open and Affirming program coordinator, Ann B. Day, addresses the audience. “Inspirational and rejuvenating!” “Truly a peak experience!” “Water upon dry land!” —Evaluation comments made by participants. In worship and workshops, through stories and songs, participants “exulted” in their common commitment to shaping faith communities that welcome all people—lesbian, bisexual, gay, and straight. —Ann B. Day DISCUSSING INCLUSIVENESS: Panel members (from left) Dorothy Gannon, Alvin Haven, Margarita Suarez, Ann B. Day, Bennie Whiten, Jr., and Keith Townsend explore inclusivity issues in the UCC. Photos: April Allison JUST PEACE PLAYERS: Massachusetts Conference group offers an original play, “Everything Possible.” From left: Deborah L. Clark, Kate Stevens, Rebecca Pugh Brown, Louise Green. YOUTH FOCUS WORKSHOP: Greg Anderson leads “Affirming Gay and Lesbian Youth: Strategies for Faith Communities.” HETEROSEXISM: Melanie Morrison leads a workshop on heterosexism issues. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: • Keynoter Michael Kinnamon, dean of Lexington Theological Seminary in Kentucky, speaks on “To Be Free and United in Christ.” • Closing Communion Service features preacher, Christine Smith, associate professor of preaching and worship, United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, Minnesota. • Cleveland Area North Coast Men’s Chorus perform in concert. First National ONA EXULTATION Aptly Named! 28 Open Hands MUSICAL LEADERSHIP: A joyful noise was made throughout the weekend thanks to Elaine Kirkland and Steven Cagle (not shown). Winter 1996 29 OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978, a total of 644 churches, campus ministries, judicatories, and national ministries have publicly declared themselves welcoming of all people, including gay men and lesbians. This represents an increase of 39 percent over last year! The 644 welcoming communities are found in eight different denominations in forty-six states, the District of Columbia, and Canada. We have included eighty-five Unitarian Universalist Welcoming Congregations in the list for the first time this year. Following is a complete list of congregations, alphabetically by state and city, followed by a list of campus ministries, judicatories, and national ministries. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes: ML More Light (Presbyterian) ONA Open and Affirming (UCC) O&A Open and Affirming (Disciples) RIC Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) RC Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist) SCN Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) W&A Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) WEL Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) El Cerrito Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Fremont Congregational (ONA) Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno Wesley UMC (RC) Hayward Eden UCC (ONA) Hollywood First UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) LaVerne Ch.of the Brethren (SCN) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Los Angeles Hollywood UMC (RC) Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) United University (ML, RC) Wilshire UMC (RC) Los Gatos First UMC (RC) Malibu Malibu UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenue Congregational (ONA) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Faith Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s UMC (RC) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside First Congregational (ONA) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) First Unitarian (WEL) Pacific Beach UMC (RC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dolores Street Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Mennonite Church (SCN) First St. John’s UMC (RC) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First United Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) Hamilton UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John’s UCC (ONA) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Temple UMC (RC) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (W&A) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Christ in Terra Linda Presb. (ML) Faith Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Santa Rosa First Congregational UCC (ONA) UU Fell. of Sonoma Co. (WEL) Saratoga Grace UMC (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John’s Lutheran (RIC) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Vallejo Fellowship UMC (RC) First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Mt. Diablo UU (WEL) Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Arvada Arvada Mennonite (SCN) Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder Community UCC (ONA) First Congregational (ONA) CONGREGATIONS UNITED STATES ALABAMA Huntsville UU Church (WEL) ALASKA Anchorage UU Fellowship (WEL) Palmer Church of the Covenant (W&A) Sitka UMC of Sitka (RC) ARIZONA Glendale Rapha Menn. Fellowship (SCN) Phoenix Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Tucson First Christian (O&A) St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS Little Rock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley/Richmond Intercity Min. (O&A) Epworth UMC (RC) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational (ONA) St. John’s Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) University Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Carlsbad Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Carmel UU of Monterey Peninsula (WEL) 30 Open Hands Sojourner Truth Cong. UU (WEL) St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) FLORIDA Clearwater Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Gainesville United Church (ONA) UU Fellowship (WEL) Key West Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Orlando First Unitarian (WEL) Pinellas Park Good Samaritan (ML, ONA) Tallahassee United Church (ONA) Tampa First United Church (ONA) Good Samaritan Presb. (ML) John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) GEORGIA Atlanta Clifton Presbyterian (ML) Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) HAWAII Honolulu Church of the Crossroads (ONA) Honolulu Lutheran (RIC) ILLINOIS Carbondale Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Champaign Community UCC (ONA) McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Chicago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) Lincoln Park Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Nazareth UCC (ONA) Norwood Park UMC (RC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) St. Paul’s UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) United Church of Rogers Park (RC) University Church (ONA, O&A) Wellington Avenue UCC (ONA) Elmhurst Maywood House Church (RIC) Evanston Lake Street Church of Evanston (W&A) Hemenway UMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Oak Park Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Rockford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Waukegan First Congregational UCC (ONA) Wilmette First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community (RC) INDIANA Bloomington Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Indianapolis Disciples Peace Fellowship (O&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) South Bend Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Ames Mennonite (SCN) Lord of Life Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Clinton Clinton-Camanche, Iowa MFSA (RC) Davenport Davenport Unitarian (WEL) Des Moines First Unitarian (WEL) Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City ecumenikos (ML, ONA, O&A, RC) Olathe St. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) Third Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark’s UMC (RC) MAINE Ellsworth Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Rockland The First Universalist (WEL) MARYLAND Adelphi Paint Branch UU (WEL) Baltimore Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Dundalk Ch. of the Brethren (SCN) First & Franklin Presbyterian (ML) St. John’s UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Bethesda Cedar Lane Unitarian (WEL) River Road Unitarian (WEL) Columbia Columbia United Christian (O&A) St. John UM-Presbyterian (ML, RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Silver Spring Christ Cong. UCC (ONA) Silver Spring Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) MASSACHUSETTS Amherst First Congregational UCC (ONA) South Congregational (ONA) Andover Ballardvale United (ONA, RC) Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Auburn Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Arlington Street (WEL) Church of the Covenant (ONA, ML) Mennonite Congregation (SCN) Old South Church (ONA) Braintree All Souls Church (WEL) Brewster First Parish (WEL) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Hingham Hingham Congregational (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Jamaica Plain Central Congregational (ONA) Middleboro First Unitarian Society (WEL) Newburyport Belleville Congregational (ONA) Newton Highlands Congregational (ONA) Northampton Unitarian Society (WEL) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Provincetown Universalist Meeting House (WEL) Reading Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Roxbury Church of the United Community (O&A, ONA) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Colorado Springs All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Denver Capitol Heights Presbyterian (ML) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) Spirit of Joy Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul’s UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas University Lutheran (RIC) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Fairfield First Church Cong. (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Hamden U Society of New Haven (WEL) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Madison Shoreline UU Society (WEL) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ Cong. (ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First & Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) Rockville First Lutheran (RIC) South Glastonbury Congregational Church (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Westport Unitarian Church (WEL) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) Wilmington West Presbyterian (ML) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D.C. All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Church of the Reformation (RIC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Dumbarton UMC (RC) First Congregational (ONA) First Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Foundry UMC (RC) Georgetown Lutheran (RIC) Grace Lutheran (RIC) Riverside Baptist (W&A) Winter 1996 31 Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran (RIC) Sudbury The First Parish (WEL) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton First Unitarian Society (WEL) Second Church in Newton UCC (ONA) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester First Baptist (W&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) First UU (WEL) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Bloomfield Hills Birmingham Unitarian (WEL) Coloma Coloma UMC (RC) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) East Lansing Ecclesia (O&A) UU of Greater Lansing (WEL) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Skyridge Ch.of the Breth. (SCN) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Good Samaritan UMC (RC) Mahtomedi White Bear UU (WEL) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis Community of St. Martin (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) First Universalist (WEL) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Judson Memorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Mayflower Community Cong. UCC (ONA) Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) St. Andrew’s Lutheran (RIC) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Cloud Univ. Luth. of the Epiphany (RIC) St. Paul Macalester-Plymouth United. (ML, ONA) Mennonite Fellowship (SCN) St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) All Souls Unitarian (WEL) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. Mark’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Epiphany (ONA) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) University City Bethel Lutheran (RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEVADA N. Las Vegas Wesley UMC (RC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church (ONA) Milford Unitarian Universalist (WEL) Plymouth Plymouth Congregational (ONA) NEW JERSEY Cherry Hill UU Church (WEL) Morristown Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Plainfield First Unitarian Society (WEL) South Orange First Presbyterian & Trinity (ML) Titusville UU of Washington Crossing (WEL) NEW MEXICO Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Church (WEL) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK Albany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) UU Congregation (WEL) Brookhaven Old South Haven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) First Unit. Cong. Society (WEL) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matt.-Emmanuel Luth. (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA, O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Craryville Craryville UMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Huntington UU Fellowship (WEL) Kingston Trinity UMC (RC) Manhasser UU Cong. at Shelter Rock (WEL) Marcellus First Presbyterian (ML) Merrick Community Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Kisco Mt. Kisco Presbyterian (ML) Mt. Sinai Mt. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Church of St. Paul & St. Andrew (RC) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace & St. Paul’s Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior’s Atonement Lutheran (RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA, W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) St. Peter’s Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Unitarian Ch. of All Souls (WEL) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) UU Society (WEL) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Poughkeepsie Unitarian Fellowship (WEL) Rochester Calvary-St. Andrews (ML) Downtown Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Lake Avenue Baptist (W&A) The House Church (ONA) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Saratoga Springs Presb.-New Eng. Cong. (ML, ONA) Saratoga Springs UMC (RC) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Schenectady First Unitarian (WEL) Williamsville UU of Amherst (WEL) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) United Church (ONA) Durham Eno River UU Fellowship (WEL) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Wilmington UU Fellowship (WEL) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) UU Fellowship (WEL) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati Mt. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) West Shore UU (WEL) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) First English Lutheran (RIC) First UU (WEL) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Faith UCC (ONA) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) Oberlin First Church in Oberlin (ONA) Shaker Heights First Unitarian of Cleveland (WEL) Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Tulsa UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ (ONA) Beaverton Southminster Presbyterian (ML) Corvallis First Cong. Church ONA) First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) 32 Open Hands Eugene Unit. of Eugene & Lake Co. (WEL) Klamath Falls Klamath Falls Cong. UCC (ONA) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Clackamus UCC (ONA) Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Peace Church of the Breth. (SCN) Southwest United (ONA) St. James Lutheran (RIC) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) First Unitarian Society (WEL) Morningside UMC (RC) Springfield Church of the Brethren (SCN) PENNSYLVANIA Devon Main Line Unitarian (WEL) Harrisburg Unitarian Church (WEL) Lansdale Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Levittown United Christian Church (O&A, ONA) Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) Old First Reformed (ONA) St. Michael’s Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ML, ONA) Univ. Lutheran of the Incarnation (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND East Greenwich Westminster Unitarian (WEL) Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Knoxville Tennessee Valley UU (WEL) Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) First UU Church (WEL) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) First Unitarian (WEL) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Fort Worth St. Matthew’s Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Comm. of the Reconciling Servant (ML) Plano Dallas North Unitarian (WEL) UTAH Salt Lake City South Valley UU Society (WEL) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian (ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Mount Vernon Unitarian (WEL) Peace Lutheran (RIC) Arlington Unitarian Church (WEL) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) Oakton Fairfax Unitarian (WEL) WASHINGTON Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Marysville Evergreen UU Fellowship (WEL) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Comm. for Interfaith Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC Cong. (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Cong. UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) Wallingford UMC (RC) Spokane Unitarian Church (WEL) Suquamish Community Cong. (ONA) Vancouver First Congregational UCC (ONA) White Salmon Bethel Cong., UCC (ONA) WEST VIRGINIA Wheeling UU Congregation (WEL) WISCONSIN Brown Deer Brown Deer UCC (ONA) Eau Claire Ecumenical Religious Center (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Madison Community of Hope UCC (ONA) First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) University UMC (RC) Milwaukee Church of the Reformation (RIC) Cross Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Village Church, Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior’s Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA ALBERTA Edmonton Unitarian Church (WEL) BRITISH COLUMBIA Vancouver Unitarian Church (WEL) ONTARIO Thunder Bay Lakehead U. Fellowship (WEL) Waterloo Olive Branch Mennonite (SCN) SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES Key: LCM=Lutheran Campus Ministry UCM=United Campus Ministry UMSF=United Methodist Student Fellowship UNITED STATES CALIFORNIA Cal-Aggie Christian House, UC-Davis (RC) Pride Alliance, Chapman U., Orange (O&A) UCM, USC, Los Angeles (RC) Wesley Fdn., UCLA (RC) Wesley Fdn., UC-Santa Barbara (RC) COLORADO LCM, CU-Boulder (RIC) DELAWARE Wesley Fdn., UD, Newark (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UMSF, American U. (RC) ILLINOIS UMSF, Ill. Wesleyan, Bloomington (RC) UCM, No. Illinois, DeKalb (RC) INDIANA LCM, IU, Bloomington (RIC) IOWA LCM, UI, Iowa City (RIC) MICHIGAN Guild House, UM, Ann Arbor (O&A, ONA) MINNESOTA LCM in Minneapolis (RIC) LCM, SCS, St. Cloud (RIC) Stud. Cong., St. Olaf, Northfield (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA Univ. Lutheran Center, NDSU, Fargo (RIC) OHIO UCM, OU, Athens (O&A, RC, W&A) Wesley Fdn., Oh. Wesleyan, Delaware (RC) OREGON LCM in Portland (RIC) Wesley Fdn., UO, Eugene (RC) PENNSYLVANIA LCM at Kutztown (RIC) TEXAS LCM, UT, Austin (RIC) WASHINGTON LCM, WU, Bellingham (RIC) Wesley Club, UW, Seattle (RC) WISCONSIN LCM, LaCrosse (RIC) LCM, Metro Milwaukee(RIC) LCM, UW-Stout, Menomonie (RIC) CANADA SASKATCHEWAN Luth. Stud. Movement, Saskatoon (RIC) JUDICATORIES More Light Synods (ML) Synod of the Northeast Open and Affirming Conferences (ONA) California/Nevada N. Central Pacific Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Open and Affirming Regions (O&A) Northern California/Nevada Reconciled in Christ Synods (RIC) Eastern North Dakota Eastern Washington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Southeast Pennsylvania Reconciling Conferences (RC) California-Nevada New York Northern Illinois Troy NATIONAL MINISTRIES Gen’l Comm. on Christian Unity & Interreligious Concerns (RC) Lutheran Student Movement—USA (RIC) Methodist Fed. for Social Action (RC) Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No. 3 - Valuing Difference, Part 2: Weaving Community from Diversity https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/005578e89a130dbc6a36238378c180d8.pdf 061db0034ea770088e24d2de7540a6cc Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1995 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1995 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 2 Fall 1995 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality Valuing Differences, Part 1 Untangling Prejudice and Privilege EXPOSING ROOTS OF OPPRESSION Making Tangled Roots Visible 4 MARY JO OSTERMAN How are prejudice and privilege connected? What are the roots and subroots of oppression? What Is Your Risk Factor? 7 Get a quick reading of your level of risk for human rights violations and your level of privilege. Heterosexuality: A Privileged Place 8 PATRICIA BEATTIE JUNG Explore the prejudice generated by heterosexism and the privilege enjoyed by heterosexual persons. Identifying Race Privilege: From One White to Another 10 JENNIFER SIMPSON What is white privilege and what is a responsible response to it? Coming Out Old: Issues of Ageism and Privilege 12 DOROTHY JEAN FURNISH What is aging? Age privilege? How is the church ageist? Gender Privilege: A Rural Clergy Couple’s Conversation 14 MITCHELL HAY AND BARBARA LEMMEL Listen in on this couple’s dialogue about privilege and who is called to “midwife” changes. Exploring Disability and Privilege 16 FRED BERCHTOLD A ‘temporarily able bodied’ pastor makes connections between the disability rights movement and the gay/ lesbian rights movment. Fall 1995 3 The Elite and the Other: Thoughts on Classism 17 ROSEMARY RADFORD RUETHER AND KAREN L. BLOOMQUIST Two religious leaders comment on how classism plays into the struggle for the liberation of all persons. PLANTING SEEDS OF DIVERSITY Transforming Despair into Hope 18 MELANIE MORRISON A preacher invites us to turn one another’s “despair into hope.” To Denominational Gate Keepers: A Call to Action 20 HOWARD B. WARREN, JR. Denominational executives are called to do as early Christians did—to turn the world upside down. The People of the Eyes 22 JOHN SUMWALT A storyteller explores discrimination and privilege in a fictional three-tiered system. Diversity, Privilege, and Faith: Studying Connections 24 BEN ROE A local church examines orientation privilege and its connections with race privilege. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT A Litany for Freedom 25 RANDY MILLER Through spoken word and song, this litany weaves phrases of “Lift Every Voice” into a call for freedom. ONE MORE WHAT DO SELECTED MOVEMENT WORD YOU THINK? RESOURCES NEWS 26 27 28 29 Next issue: Valuing Differences, Part 2 Weaving Community Publisher Mark Bowman Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Chris Wild Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel More Light Churches Network 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Editorial Advisory Committee Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Stuart Wright, RIC The Double Taproot “Why do people discriminate against other people?” That is a major question asked of program staff as they travel across the country doing welcoming and reconciling ministry work. Why do people discriminate? What are the roots of people’s oppressive behavior? As I probed the answers, I began to doodle. Roots are underground, unseen for the most part, tangled, tenacious. Roots grow in a soil of certain characteristics. Roots emerge into specific kinds of plants. Root systems have taproots and subroots. The root system of oppression has two taproots. The first taproot— prejudice—is fed by a whole subroot system of feelings, attitudes, beliefs, and actions (illustration 1). These subroots include fear and mistrust of those different from us and the blaming of them for things that really are part of us. Digging deeper down the taproot of prejudice, we find that fear, mistrust, and blaming are fed by ignorance of who the “other” really is and is not. Digging even deeper, we uncover subroots of hatred all Making Tangled Roots Visible By Mary Jo Osterman A “perfectly reasonable” explanation existed in the minds of the people making the decisions or statements above. In each case, however, their traditions and biases, prejudices and privileges, became tangled in the decision. They tapped into the root system of oppression and kept it in place one more time. What happened was discrimination. ❙ ❙ ❚ A CEO reviews two equally qualified candidates and hires the man, not the woman. ❚ A local church committee turns down a possible new pastor who seemed a good match for the congregation, but is blind. ❚ Judicatory delegates promise their votes to a gay candidate, but the numbers never add up. ❚ A plumber directs his comments to a 50-year old housemate rather than to the 70-year old owner of the house who had called him. ❚ A middle-class women’s support group says, “Well, we tried, but Doris just doesn’t fit in.” ❚ A lesbian coming out group shuts out Paula, a transexual lesbian who used to be Paul. ❚ A white congregation says “We’re open, but the African-Americans in town just won’t come to our church.” 4 Open Hands tangled up with subroots of violent actions. Finally, we come to a root of anger. These are subroots of prejudice familiar to most of us working in the welcoming church movement. When I tried to determine what feeds the anger, I discovered a second taproot— privilege—which is connected to prejudice (illustration 2). The anger feeding prejudice also feeds privilege. What feeds the anger of prejudice is fear of loss (or perceived loss) of control of one’s life, a fear that comes from the system of privilege. One of the primary subroots that feeds privilege is power over others. A “power-over” position of dominance is conferred on us (by society or its institutions such as the church) due to some advantage we have from our gender, orientation, race, age, ability, or class. Power-over is an unearned advantage. Having such unearned power, we are fed by fear; we might lose our power. We are also suspicious of others’ motives and abilities to wrest power from us. Other subroots of privilege include unearned advantages, feelings of superiority, and actions which maintain that superior status. Although by our actions we may appear to feel superior, underneath we may fear the loss of power and benefits that go with it. Because of these fears, we exercise our privilege by excluding others or somehow denying them equal privilege and benefits. We demonstrate our power by patronizing some, dehumanizing others, controlling still others. We shore up our power by controlling decisions and decision-making processes and by controlling money, real estate, and goods. All of these behaviors are designed—consciously or unconsciously—to help us maintain our own privileged status, whatever that happens to be. Connecting the Roots Now I rapidly began to connect the two taproot systems (illustration 3). For example, the ignorance of prejudice is fed by a dehumanization subroot of privilege. The mistrust of prejudice is fed by the suspicion fostered by privilege. The patronizing attitude of someone who is privileged is fed by fear of loss of control and in turn feeds the dehumanizing process which feeds ignorance and mistrust and fear. Tangles and more tangles, which erupt in different forms of oppression—“weeds” of racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, heterosexism, classism. While we may see the common root system of these products of oppression, it is more likely that we are caught up in the struggle to dismantle one specific form of oppression—the one closest to our own experience. We sometimes try to prioritize forms of oppression in an effort to get others to join our cause: racism is the basic oppression; no, sexism is basic; no, heterosexism is basic; no, classism is basic. Yet some of us cannot separate the effects of the root system of oppression. A poor, Native American gay man who is hearing impaired simultaneously experiences the effects of prejudice and privilege in the form of classism, racism, heterosexism, and ableism. An old, black, blind, poor, lesbian woman potentially experiences six different kinds of oppression in our society because of who she is: ageism, racism, ableism, classism, heterosexism, and sexism. Their experiences cannot be separated out and prioritized since they are the experiences of whole persons. These persons will refuse (rightly) all demands to separate out any aspect of their oppression from their whole selves. more ➟ Fall 1995 5 Because of who they are, we do not have the luxury of working only on “our oppression.” If we are working for the full liberation of all people, we will want to make the connections and to stand in solidarity with all people, working actively and simultaneously against all forms of oppression. For, ultimately, every form of oppression comes from the same two taproots: prejudice and privilege. Our focus in this issue of Open Hands is on understanding privilege, the taproot much less known and acknowledged. Who Are the Privileged? Our social system confers privilege on some of us by freeing or exempting us from something. As a white person, I am freed from having to learn in detail the customs, values, and realities of other races of people in order to survive among them. As a lesbian, however, I am not exempted from the need to understand the heterosexual world in order to survive within it. If I do not conform, I reap a host of penalties, from loss of career to threats against my person. As a person without physical disabilities, I am freed or exempted from having to plan ahead to be sure I will be able to get into a building or have access to bathrooms, pay phones, drinking fountains, or usable work or leisure equipment. As a woman, however, I am 6 Open Hands tion and without thought. An oppressor is both Hitler and the CEO who chooses the male candidates over equally qualified female candidates. An oppressor is both the Klan and the lesbian coming out group who excludes a transexual lesbian. Given this definition of oppression, chances are we all are oppressors of somebody. The biases with which we were raised, the beliefs we were taught, and the privileges we enjoy because of who we are (and the power that comes with those privileges) almost guarantee that somewhere, sometime—maybe often— we will use authority unjustly. No matter who we are. Having advantages, and the unearned authority that comes with them, puts us in the potential pool of oppressors of other people who have fewer advantages and less power. We may also be among the oppressed because society denies us basic rights and discredits our earned authority based on some aspect of who we are. And we may be part of the solution because we are actively working against prejudice and oppression. However, if we glide over the fact that we are oppressors because of privilege conferred on us, we are in danger of missing part of the “big picture.” We stay mired in romantic (liberal and conservative) notions of diversity that conveniently give not exempted from the need to understand our male-dominated society. If I do not learn to operate within, and remain generally subservient to, male ways of naming and male styles of leadership, I will be penalized. Who are the privileged ones? In the United States, as Audre Lorde has said, it is the “white, thin, male, young, heterosexual, Christian, and financially secure” person who is most privileged. Each of us is gifted with privilege—or threatened with vulnerability to human rights violations—according to how closely we fit this norm.1 (See “What is Your Risk Factor?”, p. 7.) Rights vs. Privileges Not all privilege is harmful. Some privileges are really basic rights which need to be seen as “unearned entitlements” available to all.2 These include such rights as health, well-being, a decent education, safe neighborhoods, clean water, breathable air, enough food to eat, shelter, a livable wage, the pursuit of happiness, loving relationships, and being treated decently by others. Be clear: these are basic rights, not “special rights.” Those of us who enjoy these rights as privileges and deny them to others find ourselves in the group called oppressor. Acknowledging Ourselves as Oppressors Are you saying, “Now, wait just a minute! I’m not an oppressor. Those people in the illustrations at the beginning of the article are not oppressors. Oppressors are people like Hitler, dictators in Central America, Soviet communists taking over a country, or the Klan.” If this is your response, you are not alone. Most of us recoil from naming ourselves “oppressor.” Oppressors are usually defined as those who keep others down by severe force. It is this image of oppression that leads us to think of Hitler or the Klan. However, oppressors are also those who unjustly use their privilege or authority to deny equal access or benefits to others. These people may act with intention, motivated by ignorance, religious belief, or fear and anger. Or they may act without intenFall 1995 7 us permission to retain our own privilege and to hoard our power. For example, we will be in danger of supporting equal access to jobs only as long as it does not affect our own status or job security. We will refuse to see that if jobs are to be equally accessible and if unemployment is to be spread equally across race and gender, then fewer white men will hold top level jobs, fewer white women will hold middle management jobs, and more white people will become unemployed. Once we see how we participate in economic oppression— and if we decide to do something about it—we will make ourselves vulnerable in the job market, competing equally for jobs. We will risk losing out to a woman or someone of another race without calling it “reverse discrimination.” Likewise, if we skip over understanding ourselves as oppressors in the church, we are in danger of missing the whole point of ministry: being in ministry with those whom we may have oppressed. Once we see the unjust use of authority in ministry—which is fed by privilege and power and erupts in oppression of others—we no longer only minister to others whom we feel are less than we; we become willing to be ministered to by those who have been marginalized by our unearned privilege. If we are to value human differences, untangling the form our own privilege takes is where we will need to start—no matter what our race, gender, age, orientation, class, ability, or religious beliefs. In the rest of this issue of Open Hands, writers explore specific forms of privilege as a beginning step toward untangling roots of oppression and moving toward valuing human differences. ▼ Notes 1Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches (Trumansburg, New York: Crossing Press), p. 116. 2Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” Peace and Freedom (July/August 1989), p. 11. Mary Jo Osterman, Ph.D., is editor of Open Hands and a freelance writer. Fourth: Where do others stand? Using different colored markers, calculate the risk factor score for: (1) an African-American lesbian, 62, with a disability, making minimum wage. (2) a white, heterosexual man, 63, with disabilities, living on welfare payments. (3) a Mexican-American, heterosexual man, without disabilities, 45, making $18,000. (4) a Native American lesbian, 61, without disabilities, making $36,000. -6 -4 -2 0 2 4 6 High Moderate Low Risk/ Moderate High Risk Risk Low Privilege Privilege Privilege First: Who are you? In the left column, put a plus (+); in the right column, put a minus (-). ( + ) ( – ) ___ White __ Person of color ___ Male __ Female ___ Heterosexual __ Bisexual, lesbian, or gay ___ Age: Under 60; over 17 __ Age: 60+; under 18 ___ Without disabilities __ With disabilities ___ Above poverty level __ At/below poverty ($11,570-family of 3) Second: What is your score? Calculate your score by filling in the blanks and subtracting. ___ the number of pluses you marked subtract ___ the number of minuses you marked = Your Score: ___ this is your risk factor for human ___ violations or for privilege Third: Where do you stand? Circle your risk factor score on the continuum below. What is Your Risk Factor? How much are you at risk for human rights violations? How much privilege do you enjoy? 8 Open Hands A Privileged Place Heterosexism pervades most dimensions of our cultural life. This “system” of privilege and discrimination shapes our legal, economic, political, social, interpersonal, familial, historical, educational, and ecclesial institutions.2 Heterocentrism lies at the heart of this system of prejudice. It is the conviction that heterosexuality is the normative form of human sexuality. Within such a framework, the potential for gender role complementarity and procreativity evident in heterosexual couples becomes the measure by which all other sexual lifestyles are judged. It also becomes the measure by which a place of greater privilege is granted to heterosexual persons and to those “closeted” as such. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being heterosexual. That is not the point. The problem lies with turning differences in kind into better or worse representatives of a single norm. If human sexual reality is pluriform in orientation, then the imposition of any uniform norm will produce dehumanizing patterns of discrimination for some and unfair privilege for others. A closely related example may illuminate. Within traditional patriarchal cultures people believe that the normative form of humanity is male. This androcentrism produces a system of discrimination against females and generates a system of male privilege. Together these patterns of male privilege and prejudice against females create and sustain sexism. Heterocentrism works in a similar manner. Interdependent patterns of privilege for heterosexual people and prejudice against bisexual and homosexual people generate an incredibly pervasive system of discrimination called heterosexism. Evidence of this system is everywhere. It is most obvious of course in the mounting violence against the gay community. It is also expressed in our ridiculing language Heterosexism is a reasoned system of bias resulting in differential treatment based on sexual orientation. It denotes privileged status for heterosexual people and connotes prejudice against bisexual, and especially, homosexual people. By describing it as a reasoned system of prejudice and privilege, we do not mean to imply that it is rationally defensible. Rather we mean to suggest that heterosexism is not grounded exclusively or even primarily in emotional fears or other visceral responses to variations in sexual orientation. Instead, heterosexism is rooted in a constellation of ideas. Roots of Heterosexism Human sexuality is thought to be designed to foster individual fulfillment by drawing persons of different genders into relationship. As the saying goes, “a man without a woman” is believed to be like “a ship without a sail”—obviously incomplete and dysfunctional. (Corollaries are proposed for women.) This theory of gender complementarity is reinforced by the belief that human sexuality is designed essentially (if not exclusively or primarily) for reproductive purposes. Within this framework, it is “reasonable” to question the personal maturity and sexual identity of men and women who do not serve the family, nation and/or species by having children, particularly if this is a matter of choice. Indeed, in some versions of procreationism, one’s status as a “real” woman or “real” man hinges significantly upon one’s reproductive potential and/or performance. Operating within this framework, it is also “reasonable” for society to confer status and privilege on heterosexuality and to respond to homosexuality either with homophobia or heterosexism or both. There is a complex relationship between this set of ideas and some common emotional responses to homosexuality. Some people might be homophobic because images of male same-sex activity suggest that men can be physically vulnerable, subject potentially even to rape. Images of female same-sex activity may suggest to some that women can be powerful, free of male control, potentially independent of men altogether. These images of male vulnerability and female strength evoke in some people feelings of terror and rage. In a heterosexist culture like ours, they make everyone uncomfortable because they challenge the heterosexist myth to which we have all grown accustomed. Although heterosexism is often accompanied and reinforced by homophobia, no necessary connection exists between the two. They don’t always go together. A gap is commonly found within persons between their ideas and feelings. We can be “out of sync,” as it were, with ourselves. So, it is possible for people who are homophobic not to be heterosexist; and for those who are heterosexist not to be homophobic. HETEROSEXUALITY: A Privileged Place By Patricia Beattie Jung I had lived at the same address behind the drugstore for six years. I made it a point to use local businesses whenever possible and had been a regular customer at that drugstore. After my partner and I opened a joint checking account, I stopped at the drugstore to have a prescription filled. I wrote out a check for the amount of the prescription, but the clerk refused to accept my check, not because of any problem with my account, but because there were two female names on the check. In the clerk’s words, “Two female names on the account just couldn’t be right.”1 Fall 1995 9 about (and demonizing stereotypes of) gays. It is also expressed in civil statutes which discriminate against gays and lesbians in regard to military service, employment, housing, adoption, and insurance practices. Finally, it is expressed in ecclesial policies that deny gay and lesbian couples blessings for their unions and permit the ordination of only tightly closeted gay people committed to lifelong and total sexual abstinence. Indeed it is not an exaggeration to say that heterosexism seeks to erase gay people. It seeks to allow no privilege at all. No Place at All Cultures develop many structures to keep people “in place” in various aspects of their lives. For example, in patriarchal cultures women have a rightful, albeit private, place of activity in their father’s or husband’s home. One might imagine that bisexual and homosexual people could have a similar “place” in heterosexism. Of course this place would have to be carefully circumscribed like every other kind of ghetto. It would have to reflect as well the subservience and inferiority of gay people to the heterocentric norm. But the fact is gay people have no place within heterosexist cultures, except their “closet.” Gay couples cannot safely celebrate their love in public. Indeed, their identity must be invisible in our public institutions. They may not enjoy their relationships— hold hands, for example— at school, at the local ice rink, at work, at supper clubs, or on the street. Those few places which allow such expression— openly gay neighborhoods and bars—routinely experience all manner of violence, from trashings to bombings. Heterosexism demands that gay people keep their sexual identity hidden. Why? Because no one should publicly parade what is not fully or normatively human (natural). It is not enough that bisexual and homosexual people keep their sexual life private. Gay people have no safe haven in our culture, not even the protection and safety usually associated with the private sphere, the home. We also silence them in our circle of friends, as well as in other semiprivate spheres, such as the parish. The only acceptable, safe place and heterosexual privilege. Christian teachings contribute to the cultural climate in which these tenets flourish without serious question. Church tradition in effect sanctifies the routinization of this form of discrimination and reinforces the invisibility of heterosexual privilege. Since all persons are made in the image of God, however, Christians also recognize that those who discriminate bear the burden of proof. The time has come for Christians to think critically about the credibility of heterosexism, the adequacy of traditional biblical interpretations cited in support of heterosexism, and the social costs of heterosexism. The time has come for heterosexual Christians to look seriously at the unearned privilege that comes from their orientation. If this evaluation invites the renewal of church teaching, the faithful must accept this challenge and be prepared to confront, dismantle, and move beyond all the expressions of heterosexism found both in church and society. ▼ Source This article is excerpted and adapted from Heterosexism: An Ethical Challenge by Patricia Beattie Jung and Ralph F. Smith. New York: SUNY, 1993. Used with permission. Ralph Smith died in a car accident in November, 1994. Notes 1This vignette is a true story. 2Over two decades ago lesbian feminists recognized the institutional dimensions of heterosexism and began to describe the coercive nature of this system. See Adrienne Rich, “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence (1980),” in Blood, Bread and Poetry: Selective Prose 1979-1985 (New York: W.W. Norton, 1986). 3Gordon Allport, The Nature of Prejudice (Cambridge, Mass.: Addison Wesley, 1954). 4Rich, op. cit., p. 29. Patricia Beattie Jung, a Roman Catholic laywoman, is an Associate Professor of Theology at Loyola University in Chicago. She has published many scholarly articles and co-edited with Thomas A. Shannon an anthology on Abortion and Catholicism: The American Debate. Heterosexism seeks to erase gay people for bisexual and homosexual people is the “closet.” That is where heterosexist prejudice requires such “scandalous skeletons” be kept. In contrast, most heterosexual people simply take the authenticity of their sexual identity for granted. Very little blocks their becoming self-conscious of their authentic sexual feelings to begin with and the culture reinforces their integral (if not always responsible) expression of these attractions. They also give no thought at all to the great range of privileges that come to them simply and only because they are heterosexual. In our culture we invite heterosexual adolescents to an awareness of, a mature openness about, and even celebration of, their burgeoning sexuality. Straight people are rarely frustrated or demeaned by norms that would require they inhibit a celebration of who they are and/or whom they really love—unless these affairs are adulterous or incestuous. We do not provide such support and encouragement for teenagers or adults who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At best we encourage them to closet themselves and to make announcements about their sexual identity that are not consistent with their sexual orientation and/or activities. In his now classic text on discrimination, The Nature of Prejudice, Gordon Allport noted over thirty-five years ago that the most deep-rooted prejudice in the United States was directed against homosexual people, who, if they could be more easily targeted, would suffer even greater violence.3 This discrimination is widespread. It has been present since the early colonial period. “As early as 1656,” writes Adrienne Rich, “the New Haven Colony prescribed the death penalty for lesbians.”4 A Challenge for the Church The fact that North Americans accept the tenets of heterocentrism so uncritically is, arguably, the most significant contributor to antigay prejudice 10 Open Hands Five years ago, an African American student at the seminary I was attending spoke her mind and I was fortunate enough to be there when she did. “I have been waiting for the day when white folks start to deal with their own racism.” Her words—spoken in a room full of students, faculty, staff, and seminary board members—still have the power to remind me of my position and responsibility when it comes to racial matters. Because she was talking about racism among white people at the seminary, her words unsettled me. She was not talking about “racism out there” (Proposition 187 in California, police brutality against African American or Latino men, or the wiping out of affirmative action programs at the University of California). She was talking about racism among whites at our seminary. Suddenly, I was implicated in a form of oppression with which I had never before identified. Since then, I have worked hard to see myself as always white and therefore privileged. While I have come to understand a little more of what it means to be white in this country, the depth of my ignorance on racism means I have barely started the task of addressing my own racial identity. I still slip, trip, and sometimes take a wrong turn in addressing my own privilege. I am also glad I am on the road at all. Naming Race Privilege Race privilege refers to a range of advantages people receive because of skin color. In the U.S. it often works according to a “ranking” of persons from darker skin (less privilege) to lighter skin (more privilege). Race privilege also supports race-based stereotypes (for example, the idea that most Asian Americans were not born in the United States). White people routinely benefit from race privilege. A friend’s frustration with racism marks my white privilege: “You know, I went into that same bookstore yesterday, and I noticed right away I was followed. He started immediately after I got in the door. Following me—up and down the stairs, back and forth through the aisles. All I wanted was a book! Why can’t I do some shopping without being followed?” I immediately realize this is the first time I have even slightly felt the absence of an employee following me. “You know,” my African American friend continues, “it doesn’t matter where we are, how we’re dressed, what we’re doing—you white folks assume we’re thieves. I am tired.” Peggy McIntosh, in an article linking male privilege and white privilege, lists twenty-six “daily effects of white privilege” in her life. Those of us who are white can look at the TV or newspaper and see people of our race “widely represented.” We can be fairly certain our skin color will not mark us as a financial risk when using checks, credit cards, or cash. We “can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co-workers on the job suspect that [we] got it because of race.” We can also swear or dress sloppily without having people attribute this behavior to our race. We are never expected to speak for “all the people of [our] racial group.”1 Race privilege: a range of unearned advantages people receive because of skin color. To understand my own privilege, I have had to realize that I am always “raced.” The fact that (white) employees do not follow my (white) body at a local bookstore is an example of race privilege. Although I am often quick to assume that race is a factor only in the presence of people of African, Asian, Latin, or Native American descent, race can be an issue among groups of white people (for example when I am not followed by white employees at a bookstore). Racial issues are present regardless of the race of the people in that situation. As a white person, I am concerned first of all with white peoples’ participation in race matters. Historically and currently in the United States, whiteness has been considered the norm. It needs no explanation or defense. In contrast to my Latin American friend (who rarely finds Latin American authors on reading lists), I have never had to search the syllabus for white authors. I am not slotted into categories such as “model minority” (a common stereotype applied to Asian Americans), or “thief” (as my African American friend was). As a person committed to anti-racism, I want to unlearn ways of living that perpetuate my white privilege and leave no space for the wellbeing and wholeness of people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent. Making Connections with Heterosexism Racism and heterosexism are connected; but the two are never the same. Understanding heterosexism may serve as a window into understanding racism, but never a mirror. While white people rarely have to consider the privilege of our whiteness, most heterosexuals spend little time reflecting on the benefits they receive because they are heterosexual. Racism forces people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent to explain their values and choices against white “norms.” Heterosexism ensures that straight people rarely have to explain, defend, or justify their existence in ways that les/bi/gay and transgendered people do on a daily basis. Despite most forms and applications, my gay friend in a long-term relationship is neither “married” nor “single”; my mixed-race friend is neither only “Hispanic American” nor only “Caucasian.” IDENTIFYING RACE PRIVILEGE: From One White to Another By Jennifer Simpson Fall 1995 11 Responding Out of White Privilege Unraveling our racial privilege often surfaces feelings of guilt or blame. If I had responded, “It’s not my fault the employee followed you” my friend might not have been surprised. However, she and other people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent I know have no use for such pleas of innocence. Further, it is not my friend’s responsibility to help me process my ambivalence about the situation. I listened to what she had to say and I am still realizing the lessons of not being followed. I am slowly learning to listen to my friends’ stories about racism without becoming defensive. Absolving my guilt (“I’m not racist!”) or removing myself from blame (“You can’t put all that history on my shoulders. . .”) was often my initial (if unspoken) response in discussions about racism. Such reactions miss the point. I am convinced that growing up and living with race privilege ensures my participation in racism. Moving beyond blame and guilt means I take seriously the significance of my socialization as a white person. Understanding the social significance of living as a white person leads me to a serious concern with racism and a commitment to work against it. Racism always hurts. It leaves emotional and physical scars. It has caused and continues to cause immeasurable amounts of pain. And it always affects bodies and relationships. I hope that churches committed to addressing heterosexism can express (or already are expressing!) a similar concern for racism. Both kinds of work seek more just ways of living and relating—and more informed and compassionate choices. Unlearning racism and heterosexism are tasks that can benefit from and support each other. I work on being anti-racist because I am interested in my own well-being. I do not want my racism to visit my friendships. Recognizing the regularity of white privilege reminds me of my potential for racism. I am wary of my own capacity for racist behavior and concerned with the race dynamics in my relationships. When my racism does spill into my friendships, I want to notice it, question its presence, and consider how I might act differently. Anti-racism work—the most appropriate response to unraveling one’s white privilege—is about changing our minds. It is also about feeling the assault on our own dignity each time we observe or experience white privilege and turn our backs on its destruction. I am concerned with everyday racism— the fact that I am not followed in a bookstore— because I have learned it affects my friends. I have begun to see the profound difference it makes going through life white, or black, or brown. I also see the connections between my everyday privilege and institutional racism. How can that person who followed my friend in the bookstore separate his rationale for following her from any input he might have in hiring an African-American? The racism that hurts my friends routinely gives me advantages—and I am dis-eased with that contradiction. Overcoming White Privilege Anti-racism work requires much effort and commitment. It is always risky. The predicament of our privilege is intricate and evasive. I often find the following guidelines (in box) helpful in confronting white privilege in myself and others. These guidelines are meant especially, but not exclusively, for white people. It is often people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent who have brought them to my attention. Dealing with my own racism has never been easy. The racism I continue to disregard regularly visits my friends. The stories I hear remind me of my mind and body ignorance on matters racial. In addressing my privilege, I often trip on my ignorance and silence with my arrogance. But five years after hearing the words of an African American woman, I also say with a sense of urgency: ”It is time for white folks to deal with our privilege.“ ▼ Note 1Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” Peace and Freedom (July/August 1989), pp. 10-12. Jennifer Simpson, a Ph.D. student in social ethics and cultural studies at Garrett- Evangelical Theological Seminary and Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, is affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Anti-Racism Guidelines 1. Do not assume race awareness. Society has not socialized and educated white people to recognize racism. It has trained us to not notice or understand our own race privilege. 2. White people need to “do our homework” before we assume the nearest person of Asian, African, Latin, and Native American descent has time to educate us. We can learn from the increasing number of books, videos, and literature addressing race privilege, racism, and the realities of people of African, Asian, Latin, and Native American descent. 3. Do not expect to receive “Racism 101” over one cup of coffee or one education hour. White people will not hear stories about race privilege “on demand,” or only at our convenience. We may hear stories about racism from people of Asian, African, Latin, or Native American descent after we have risked sharing our race ignorance and risked publicly noticing the white privilege present in our local contexts. 4. Do not fold racism into non-racial oppression. Race privilege is never exactly the same as privilege based on gender or sexuality. (Saying “I know exactly what you mean” to a Latin American man’s story about racism—and proceeding to tell him your experience as a lesbian— will most likely cut off any discussion of racism.) 5. Expect hard work. Commenting, “I feel so bad about all the racism at church headquarters” is nice, but working to change it is better. For example, setting aside funds for antiracism training for your own church council, or setting up a study group on local race issues, would be a start to addressing race privilege. 6. Do not expect people of African, Asian, Latin, or Native American descent to celebrate your discovery of white privilege. White people addressing race privilege may be rare, but it is never an heroic act. —Jennifer Simpson 12 Open Hands “You’re 74 years old? Impossible! You don’t look a day over 60!” I smile with evident pleasure, blush ever so slightly, and reply, “Aren’t you kind! Thank you for saying that! I really don’t feel old.” Everyone is happy. My friend has been gracious by underestimating my age. And my sense of being a “special person”—not like other old people—has been reinforced. What is wrong with this picture? First, I have been evaluated by a set of stereotypes about old people that may, or may not, apply to me. Second, I have failed to grasp an opportunity to address the issue of “ageism” and “age privilege.” Aging vs. Ageism Aging is an experience shared by every living creature from the moment of birth. If we are children, we are said to be “growing up.” If we are youth, we are “maturing.” But if we are adults, we are “getting old.” So we begin the ritual of our culture: we spend time, money, and psychic energy trying to “stay young.” In the process, we deny our identity. We say we are aging, or we are not as young as we used to be, or we are getting older. We are reluctant to say, “I am old.” Children “grow up” eagerly looking forward to adult privileges. Young people “mature” with the anticipation of sharing adult power. As adults, however, we resist “coming out old” even to ourselves because it often signals the end of both privilege and power, as well as the reluctant recognition of our own mortality. Ageism—and its personal impact—is a reality shared by almost every old person, although many of us are socialized not to recognize it. It has been defined as “the systematic discrimination and oppression of people solely because they are old.”1 Illustrations can be found on a continuum all the way from “irritating” to “life demeaning.” An old man leaves his umbrella in the car and is called a “forgetful old man.” An old woman does not recognize the need for changes in societal structures and is called “out of date.” An old man takes his umbrella with him in case of rain and is called a “fussy old man.” An old woman speaks out against the status quo and is called “disruptive and feisty.” Old men and women are voted out of public office solely on the basis of their age. Same sex partners, one old and one younger, are dining out. At the end of the meal the table server pointedly gives the check to the younger of the two. At the grocery store, obviously able-bodied, white-haired customers are asked if they need assistance with their groceries. Able old people lose their jobs in order to make way for the young. (See also “It Is Ageist To ...”, page 13.) Ageism is alive and well when all of one’s being is defined by a single characteristic— the number of years one has lived. Ageism is based on a deeply ingrained, negative stereotype of what old people are really like. It is used to rationalize discrimination and to confuse our discussions about rights and privilege. Human Rights vs. Privilege Human rights are the goods of life to which everyone has a right simply because they are human beings, created by God. “Everyone” means everyone: the young, the old, the in-between, the abled and those with disabilities, men and women, whites and people of color, heterosexuals and lesbigays. In the United States we have historically identified these rights as “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Privilege, on the other hand, is the expectation that these human rights will automatically be enjoyed by particular groups of people solely because of factors of birth. Thus privilege, and therefore power, is automatically bestowed upon those of a certain economic class, gender, race, or sexual orientation. In our American culture such privilege is most often granted to middle and upper class persons, and within these groups, to white heterosexual males. Others, including women, people of color, the poor, those with disabilities, and lesbigay persons achieve certain human rights only through advocacy and special legislation. However, in the general course of human affairs, those discriminated against for any reason usually do not have access to either power or privilege, making it difficult to become advocates on their own behalf. Even when human rights are legislated, those who have enjoyed “systemic privilege”—usually without even noticing it—often interpret such basic rights as “special rights” or as “privilege unfairly bestowed” on undeserving groups. Relationship Between Ageism and Privilege Old people have few privileges in our society. The ones they have are primarily monetary, based on a stereotype that all old people are poor. (Some of these are euphemistically referred to as “senior discounts.” However, the middle-aged “poor” do not receive “middle-aged” discounts!) The fact of the matter is that many of the old are living at or below the poverty line, where senior discounts, while appreciated, do not represent a solution. In our culture the image of “old” tends to thwart the probability that the old can pursue life, liberty, and happiness. To describe someone as old conjures up a picture of poor, sick, alone, senile, physically disabled, out of touch with the real world, hopelessly traditional, and gainfully unemployed. In other words, useless. When the old are viewed in this way, little is expected of them. For all intents and purposes they have been marginalized and rendered invisible. If this stereotype becomes the lens through which all old people are viewed, the status and power of the old are diminished almost to the vanishing COMING OUT OLD: Issues of Ageism and Privilege By Dorothy Jean Furnish Fall 1995 13 point—and the “privilege” of mid-life adults is confirmed and legitimized. Issues for the Church For the old, the death of spouse, partner, or close friends is a common experience and expectation. These losses are deepened by modern mobility that frequently results in children and intimate confidants living many miles away. Fortunately, the church community often becomes “family ” for otherwise isolated persons. The context may be an adult Sunday School class, a women’s or a men’s group, the choir, or a Wednesday night Bible study. When retirement from the work force or fading physical energies result in a sense of disengagement from life, participation in these church groups can provide a much needed sense of connection. But the “church family” is not immune to the dangers of ageism and age privilege! ✦A church is ageist when it regrets the inability of the old to climb the stairs to the sanctuary, but fails to provide accessibility. ✦A church is ageist when it takes public pride in the “new young families” who are attending church activities, but takes for granted the “old folks” who have supported the church through many years. ✦A church is ageist when it forgets its active old members and leaves ministry with the old to the retired minister on the church staff whose task is to visit the shut-ins. ✦A church is ageist when it assumes that old people no longer want leadership roles. ✦A church is ageist when it acts on the assumption that in order for younger people to become involved in the church the active and able old members must be expected to step aside. ✦A church is ageist when it makes plans for an “older adult ministry” without consulting the ones to whom and with whom they plan to minister. ✦A church is ageist when it “honors” the old but treats them in a condescending and patronizing way. ✦A church is ageist when it puts all of the hearing aids in one pew, down front. ✦A church is ageist when it assumes that old people will always resist change. The issue before the church is that of ensuring equal accessibility (both to building and to leadership), equal visibility, and equal respect. In other words, the issue is to identify and rectify any “over-privileged” status which currently benefits middle-aged adults, youth, or children in our churches. Rarely does a church consciously discriminate against the old. Often the old themselves are unaware that they are the targets of ageist thinking, but assume that feelings of uselessness and invisibility are simply the lot of persons who are growing old. When actions associated with ageism are accompanied by behaviors that arise out of one or more of the other “isms”—heterosexism or racism, for example— people are faced with double jeopardy! Double jeopardy belongs on a television game show, not in the church! ▼ Note 1Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, Facilitator’s Handbook: Confronting Ageism (OLOC, 1992). PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098. Dorothy Jean Furnish, an old 74-year-old professor emerita of Christian education at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois, is now growing older in Colorado. IT IS AGEIST... ...To consider “young” a compliment and “old” a derogatory synonym for ugly, decrepit, out-of-date. (“You don’t look your age.”) ...To speak/do for Old People instead of letting them speak/do for themselves. To assume they need help. (To restaurant staff: “Dad would like a table by the window.”) ...To view an Old Person either as a burden or a role model rather than an equal with whom a reciprocal relationship is desirable. (“When I get old, I want to be just like you!”) ...To patronize a courageous Old Person by trivializing their anger as “feisty.” (“She’s a feisty old gal. Don’t take her too seriously.”) ...To categorize an outspoken Old Person as “complaining,” “difficult,” or “crotchety.” (“He’s a crotchety old man. If he doesn’t like something, he lets you know!”) ...To be ready to force the segregation of Old People into an “Old People’s Home” and feel good about it. (“We’re putting mother into a retirement home. She’ll be happier with people her own age.”) ...To assume automatically that an Old Person is asexual. (“Getting married? At their age?”) ...To be unsupportive of an Old Person looking for a partner, or disrespectful of an Old Person’s choice to be single. (“She doesn’t really know what she wants!”) ...Not to confront ageist remarks because they are not “really” meant “that” way! (“I just try to hold my tongue. People mean well!”) This list is adapted from “Ageism—What Is It?” in OLOC, a brochure of the Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098. Used with permission. 14 Open Hands Mitchell: How do we find a working definition for gender privilege? Obviously it is based in patriarchy... Barbara: ...and it deals with social structures. “Privilege” means access to power—access to the means to acquire and keep power. Mitchell: So “gender privilege” would be the social and economic structures that enable males as a class to hold and keep power over others—those “others,” of course, meaning women? Effects of Gender Privilege Barbara: Yes. And one of the greatest powers of gender privilege is the sheer inertia of the structures themselves. Male privilege doesn’t have to be overtly enforced because it is part of the lifecurriculum in our families, schools, economic systems, and churches. Mitchell: Yeah, the power of the patriarchal status quo is immense—men tend not to think about the privilege afforded them because the system just is. And women find critiquing the system difficult because women are not in positions of power to change the system from above. GENDER PRIVILEGE: A Rural Clergy Couple’s Conversation By Mitchell Hay & Barbara Lemmel Barbara: Also, the effect of gender privilege in the church is as real as in any secular institution. The church is a hierarchical model of organization, a bastion of male privilege for years and years. Over a millennium of patriarchal inertia exists. No wonder changing it feels like banging your head against the wall. Mitchell: In the mid-part of this century, the Methodist Church and several other mainline denominations began to allow women into the ordained ministry, but I don’t know if the structures of male gender privilege have changed all that much. I think the church structure uses some subtle and not-so-subtle tools to keep down the voices that call for systemic change. Remember when we were in seminary in the 1980s, about half the student body were women? Since then we’ve seen so many friends—bright, articulate, talented women with calls to ministry leaving the institutional church, feeling beaten and abused and burnt out. I can’t think of any men we knew in seminary who have left the ordained ministry. Barbara: When I attended the 1991 United Methodist Clergywomen’s Consultation, we spent a great deal of time talking about positions of privilege, particularly in terms of gender and color. After one plenary, a district superintendent— a man in his fifties—looked around his discussion circle at all the clergywomen, including me, and said, “I don’t really understand why there is so much talk about the system not working for women. I’ve been in the United Methodist Church all my life and the system has always worked for me.” I thought, “This man is clueless with a capital K.” I had assumed that since he was attending the Clergywomen’s Consultation, he would have some basic awareness of power structures within the church. I must say, though, that he was a very attentive listener as we tried to explain to him that the system worked for him because it had been designed by men like him, for men like him. Mitchell: Again, that’s the power of the status quo—those who benefit from the system really have a hard time seeing how it marginalizes others. We see that in all the “isms” of our society: capitalism marginalizes the poor but the Imagine a quiet rural town in upstate New York and a large parsonage next to the church. We are drinking coffee in our living room on a Saturday afternoon, having just put our eight-month old baby down for a nap. In the midst of this domestic scene, we found ourselves in serious discussion about gender and privilege. Fall 1995 15 middle class and wealthy don’t see it; racism marginalizes people of color, but whites don’t understand it; heterosexism excludes gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people, but heterosexual people explain it away. Connections with Heterosexism Mitchell: I had an illuminating experience when we lived in Vermont of how gender privilege and heterosexism were intertwined. I was guest-teaching a 10thgrade class on homophobia at the high school. The boys in the class were loudly proclaiming how homosexuals made them “sick” and how they wanted to “beat the crap out of one if he ever touched me.” It was obvious the boys were only thinking about and fearing male homosexuality. One of the young women quietly asked the young men what they thought about lesbian sexuality. The boys got predatory grins on their faces and talked about the heterosexual pornography they had seen that utilized simulated lesbian love scenes. “Why does that homosexuality turn you on when male homosexuality makes you afraid?” she demanded. While the young men grew silent, I could see the light bulbs turning on in the minds of the young women. They were making the connections between patriarchy’s control and objectification of women’s bodies and homophobia, which in this case, was expressed as male fear of being made the object of male sexuality. The girls began to understand that heterosexism has its roots in sexism. I don’t know if the boys ever made that mental leap. Transforming Privilege into Equality Barbara: That’s a good example. I know, too, that some excellent scholars have made clear in their studies the connections between racism and classism and patriarchy and the other “isms” we struggle with. However, the point is to change patriarchy into something more equitable and humane, not just describe it. Yet, even when we talk about how to change systems of oppression, the reality of privilege shows up. Mitchell: The reality of gender privilege is that those who are privileged are least at risk in critiquing and making changes to the status quo. Barbara: Right. As a white woman, I’m safer critiquing the racism of the church than I am critiquing the patriarchy of the church. If I talk about feminism and changing the patriarchy, I am dismissed as working in my self-interest, whereas men working to save the patriarchal status quo are heralded as true believers or savers of religious tradition (no selfinterest, there, of course!). Mitchell: True. As a white, heterosexual male, I’m fairly safe critiquing all the “isms” of the church and culture—or ignoring them—because the patriarchal system is there to affirm who I am and keep my privileges in place for me. That safety is precisely why white, heterosexual men are called to critique and break down the structures that exclude so many people we love. Jean Audrey Powers’ “coming out” speech this summer (see p. 31) made my role in the system of gender privilege more clear to me. She said that in the biblical tradition there are a limited number of roles one can take in the face of injustice. One can stand back and do nothing, one can be an active perpetrator of injustice, one can be a passive resister of injustice, or one can work actively on behalf of the marginalized. Jean Audrey gave the example of the fourth role: the midwives, as active resisters, lied to Pharaoh to save the lives of the Hebrew children. It is crucial, Jean Audrey said, to “fear God more than unjust authority.” Barbara: That reminds me of when we were doing a little “midwifing” of gay rights legislation at the State House in Vermont. I was completely bewildered. Testifying before these House members were gay and lesbian teachers, nurses, and state workers who were risking their safety, their housing, and their very careers to get a law passed that would include sexuality as a protected status. A whole state house full of people risking, and where was the church on their behalf? You and I were the only clergy to testify on behalf of the bill. The nearly monolithic “Christian” voice at the hearing was that of the radical right. Where were the bishops? The heads of the church boards and agencies? Mitchell: Well, there are some prophetic voices among the bishops and agency chairs, and that’s great, but changing the hierarchy isn’t our main focus. We’re looking for true systemic change, for justice at a very basic level, and that won’t work on a top-down basis. What we need are more lay and ordained persons in local churches who are committed to speaking out and working against oppression, whatever forms it may take. Barbara: And, generally, those of us with the most privilege and power need to do the most speaking out—not because less powerful folks are voiceless, but because they need all the allies they can get. Letty Russell calls it using our social position to betray the very structure that put us here.1 Mitchell: Well, I’m just glad that we’ve moved beyond any semblance of gender privilege in our own relationship. Barbara: I hear Micah stirring in the bedroom. I bet he’s wet. Could you go change his diaper? Mitchell: Umm, is it my turn already? ▼ Note 1From a Letty Russell lecture on Inheriting our Mother’s Garden. Mitchell Hay and Barbara Lemmel are United Methodist pastors of five small congregations in the Adirondacks of New York. They are the parents of Micah Scot Lemmel-Hay. 16 Open Hands While attending the National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations in July, I was struck by similarities in the movements to open church doors for persons with disabilities and for person who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Official proclamations of most denominations say we must minister to these persons. However, allowing them a full share in the ministry— allowing them to minister to us— ah, that’s another thing! Church laws still say that some persons are not fit for ordination because of their disabilities or their nonheterosexual orientation. The right and privilege of ordination presently belong to heterosexual persons without disabilities. It appears we still believe that the standard for the ministry should be Leviticus 21:17-20: “None of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. ...no [one] who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no [one] with a crippled foot or hand, or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles.” (NIV) Even ministry to those with disabilities often does not occur. Older church buildings with their many stairs seem to have been built with Leviticus in mind. Persons who are viewed as “untouchable” feel pressured to hide the reality of who they are—to stay “in the closet.” A friend of mine with a learning disability tells of an experience in seminary when she publicly described her dyslexia. Another student asked to talk to her alone. During their conversation, he became clear that he also had dyslexia. He told her, “Don’t talk so loud. I’m sure that’s what I must have, but I don’t want anybody to know about it. ...And how would I ever tell my parents...?” Those of us without disabilities often take our ability for granted. We may or may not be aware of how the everyday world is structured to favor us physically, psychologically, socially. That is ability privilege. With our privilege comes power to set societal customs, pass laws, and retain church policy statements which silence, shun, or shut out those with disabilities. A Few Words about Words “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words...”—words such as faggot, dyke, four-eyes, cripple, deaf and dumb, or stupid can stab our spirits, opening wounds that are harder to heal than broken bones. “Specially challenged” is a euphemism that doesn’t really clarify what is being spoken of. “Physically challenged” does not include persons with learning disabilities, mental retardation, or emotional problems. While language is still evolving, most within the disability-rights movement prefer the word “disability.” Persons are not “disabled persons.” They are persons with disabilities. Persons are only “handicapped” if things are not available to help them overcome the limitations of their disabilities: glasses, hearing aids, wheel chairs, ramps, elevators, large print bulletins, sign interpreters, TDD telephones, and special teaching techniques for persons with learning disabilities. The church handicaps persons when it will not change to meet people’s needs. Society handicaps persons when it places a stigma upon anyone who is different from “the norm,” when it says “you must conform to what we say is standard”— or face the consequences of less accessibility, fewer basic rights, less privilege. Making Connections At least fifty percent of all people will some day have either a temporary or permanent disability. Percentages for gay men are even higher when AIDS is considered a disabling condition. The quest of the welcoming church movement and the disability-rights movement is the same—the full inclusion in all areas of the life of the church for all God’s children. This is the goal for the local church I pastor. In January 1995, we adopted the statement: “Our mission is to proclaim to our church family, our neighborhood, and the world that the reign of God is at hand in which each person will be seen as God’s special beloved child...we are open to persons abled and disabled of all races, ages, men and women, and persons who are homosexuals being a full part of our congregation and all its programs and ministries.” We are doing better at living out some parts of this mission than other parts. We are an older congregation, with few young people. We are in a mostly white neighborhood, which is reflected in our membership. We have one openly gay man, who grew up in our congregation and is now our lay member to annual conference. We still have a long flight of stairs up to our sanctuary, but we do have large print bulletins, hymnals, and Bibles for those who are visually impaired, a hearing assist system, and a Braille printer. A Final Thought When any of God’s people are excluded, the church becomes a body that has a disability. It is as if a hand has been amputated or a part of the heart cut out. Christ wants his body, the Church, to be whole. That means all must be present. ▼ Fred Berchtold, who identifies himself as “temporarily able bodied,” is chair of the Northern Illinois Conference Accessibility Advocates Association and pastor of Norwood United Methodist Church in Chicago. Exploring Disability and Privilege By Fred Berchtold Braille Printing Services Offered A church may fax or mail material they want in braille to Norwood United Methodist Church. The church will mail back a braille copy of the material. For more information, contact Rev. Fred Berchtold at 6109 N. Northcott, Chicago, IL 60631. 312/775-4161. Fall 1995 17 Concentrated Wealth: The Underlying Division By Rosemary Radford Ruether Powerful Language: Elaborated Code By Karen L. Bloomquist The use of language is one pervasive way through which power is exercised over those of a lower class position. Those of a higher class position, and with higher levels of formal education, tend to use language that is different from the language of a lower class and/or educational level. It is more nuanced, reflective, analytical, abstract, and able to deal with ambiguities. In contrast to this “elaborated code,” the language of working-class persons tends to be of a “restricted code.” Statements are simple, direct, concrete, emotive, and often take the form of commands. “The way things are” is taken for granted without questioning why. There are unambiguous boundaries, especially in matters of morality. A given behavior is either right or wrong. These class differences are evident in many discussions of homosexuality. The case for a greater acceptance of persons who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual typically is made using language of a more elaborated code. This often provokes reactions reflective of a more restricted code, as well as resentment toward these “higher-ups” who are perceived as telling them what they should believe or feel. By too quickly labeling such reactions simply as “homophobic”— without also examining dynamics of classism embedded in them—we may reinforce the domination of classism rather than searching for more effective ways to inter-connect with yet another struggle for justice. ▼ Karen L. Bloomquist, Ph.D., an ordained clergywoman, is director for studies in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. In this capacity, she has staffed ELCA work on a sexuality statement. She is the author of The Dream Betrayed: Religious Challenge of the Working Class. Attention to injustices based on race and gender is vital for a fuller vision of a just society, but I suspect we have swung too far in the direction of an “identity politics” that focuses primarily on race and gender group self-esteem in a way that fragments each group against the others. Perhaps it is time to look again at the overall class structure of American society as a way of recognizing the common framework in which these various divisions are interconnected in one social economic system, a system that uses all these distinctions to divide and conquer. American society is more deeply divided economically than at any time since the era before the Depression. By 1987, about 32.5 million Americans lived below the poverty line, twothirds of them white. Only 21 percent of them received welfare benefits. Most had one employed person in the family, some had two, but the pay level was too low to permit them to climb out of poverty. Gender and race are major determinants of income; however, this doesn’t mean that most white males are doing well or that many white men are not found among the poor and the homeless. The real issue is the group that owns or controls the commanding heights of the American economy. Andrew Winnick estimates that 90 percent of Americans own only 33 percent of the wealth, mostly in homes and cars, while the top 10 percent own 67 percent of the wealth in the form of businesses, stocks, bonds, and money market accounts. At the top of this elite group are the Forbes 400 wealthiest Americans who collectively own 40 percent of the fixed capital. This polarization of wealth and poverty is more extreme in the United States than in the nine top industrialized countries of Western Europe.1 We need to look carefully at this richest 10 percent of our population who control the wealth and power that define the government, military, economy, and media of the whole society. We need to consider how to define a social vision that can unite the other 90 percent in a common struggle to make the system more just for the great majority. It is time to knit back together our various distinctions of gender and ethnic identity, important as those are, and to find common bonds and a common base of struggle around projects of economic and political democratization. “Identity politics” just plays into the hands of those who would divide and control us all. ▼ Source This article is excerpted and adapted from “Beyond gender, race, U.S. divide is economic,” National Catholic Reporter (March 25, 1994), p. 28. Used with permission of author. Notes 1Andrew J. Winnick, Toward Two Societies: The Changing Distribution of Income and Wealth in the United States since 1960 (New York: Praeger, 1989). Rosemary Radford Ruether, Ph.D., teaches theology at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois. Her latest book is Gaia & God: An Ecofeminist Theology of Earth Healing. THE ELITE AND THE OTHER: Thoughts on Classism American Myth: Class has no relevance to our struggles for justice in this society. 18 Open Hands than the all-male supper in the upper room, represents the inclusive table fellowship at the heart of Jesus’ ministry. Eating in certain places and with certain people can be a dangerous, even revolutionary, act. Just talk to anyone who had hot coffee poured on their heads in the 1960s while seeking to integrate the lunch counters at Woolworth’s. Talk to people who attend Glide Memorial United Methodist Church in downtown San Francisco where the hungry and the well-fed meet one another in the soup lines after the Sunday service. Eating with lepers, women, tax collectors, and sinners was just one of the many ways Jesus broke down dividing walls and proclaimed peace to those who were far off and those who were near. This table fellowship was one of the many inviting, maddening, playful, healing, and subversive ways he disrupted conventional wisdom about who was near and who was far off. Those meals were visible enactments of the commonwealth he preached. He scandalized people by saying that if you want to understand the reign of God, then you need to learn from those whom the dominant culture labels sinners, strangers, aliens, and outcasts. He said that the faith they exhibit in their social location at the margins of the community reveals God’s spirit and God’s realm. Jesus didn’t call people to move from the margins into the mainstream as a pre-condition to forgiveness and participation in the commonwealth of God. In fact, he did the opposite—he called people to move from the mainstream to the margins, from the temple to the streets, from the safe confines of the sanctuary to the ditches where victims lie bleeding. That is where we find him again and again: with those considered far off. He was there listening to them as well as preaching to them, learning from them as well as giving to them, being served Poet/prophet Adrienne Rich’s question frames a window through which we might look at what it could mean to live believing that we are no longer strangers and aliens, that the dividing walls have been abolished and hostility put to death. What would it mean to live in a country whose people were changing each other’s despair into hope? What would it mean for the church to stand on the first page of the end of despair? It will undoubtedly be a journey crossward, upstream, against the grain of a culture that is hungry for scapegoats. From Mainstream to Margin The gospel story of the meal in Bethany (Mark 14:3-9) is a story of people turning one another’s despair into hope. It offers us a narrative and an image of what we might expect if we ourselves dare to change life, dare to stand on the first page, dare to live from the conviction that no one is a stranger or an alien. Let’s revisit Simon’s table and listen for clues. The first thing we notice is those who are present. Simon, the host, is a man considered unclean (a leper) by tradition and scriptural law. At least one woman is there, one who performs a prophetic and pastoral act of anointing. Presumably those who traveled with Jesus from town to town are also there. I have long wished that we could ritually remember the meal at Bethany on Tuesday evenings during holy week, as we remember the last supper on Maundy Thursday. The table in Bethany, more adequately ...What would it mean to live in a city whose people were changing each other’s despair into hope?— You yourself must change it.— ... Though your life felt arduous new and unmapped and strange what would it mean to stand on the first page of the end of despair? Adrienne Rich1 By Melanie Morrison Fall 1995 19 by them as well as serving them. Simon, a leper, was his host. A woman anointed his body, which Jesus spoke of as something to be remembered in the whole world wherever the good news is proclaimed. What happens at the table in Bethany goes farther and deeper than Jesus using such occasions as so-called teaching moments. It goes farther and deeper than Jesus welcoming every one, even women and lepers. These are people turning each other’s despair into hope. Jesus is “the Christ” because the God he incarnates touches the lives of others through him and because he is open to being touched by people like Simon and the woman, who incarnate God for him. As Rita Nakashima Brock has pointed out, “When Jesus is oppressed by the principalities and powers of the world, he reveals the incarnate power of God as he does through much of his life and at his death. But when Jesus has structural power over another, [for example, as a man in relation to women], divine power confronts Jesus from those at the margins...[they are] the incarnation of God to Jesus.”2 From Despair to Hope Jesus, in his flesh, broke down the dividing walls and created one new humanity through his openness to the transformative power of the Spirit embodied in those abused by domination and injustice. With Jesus, we can both embody this Spirit and be transformed by it. Many of us have experienced something of both positions—sometimes oppressed by power that privileged ones wield against us; sometimes inheritors of power granted us by privileges associated with our skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or citizenship in this country. To quote Brock again, It is up to us to be alert to our own uses of power so that we are able to resist abuse and to resist abusing; to resist oppression and to refuse oppressing others... When we take responsibility, we can use our power to love, to nurture, to enable freedom and willfulness of others, incarnating the love of God.3 To be a people changing each other’s despair into hope occurs when we can endure the grace and self-scrutiny that reveal how, in the web of complex relationships in which we live, none of us is only near or only far off. That is hard to acknowledge. We tend to assume that we are the ones who are most near, most in touch with God’s realm. We assume we are near by virtue of our inherited power and privilege, by virtue of our faith that we believe grasps the heart of the matter, or by virtue of our experience of oppression. We tend to assume that they— from whom we are estranged— are the far off who must be brought near. But what if being “in Christ” depends on our movement and our transformation as well as the movement and transformation of our enemies? What if being “in Christ” means risking the arduous, new, unmapped journey of staying awake not only to when we are near but also to when we are far off? What if it means staying awake to when we have a word of truth to speak and to those times when the truth shakes us to the core? What if it means staying awake to when we can and should reveal the incarnate power of God from our place at the margins and to those times when divine power is confronting us, calling us to confess our misuse of structural power? As a lesbian, I experience a kind of double jeopardy in the church and the world due to sexism and heterosexism. This experience of oppression, however, does not make me immune to oppressing others. My white skin affords me privilege and power that people of color are denied. I have had educational and economic opportunities that have been denied to many. If I really take to heart the good and radical news that we are no longer strangers or aliens, my deepest commitment is not to creating communities “safe” for people like me. My deepest commitment must be to the work of transformation so that every one is safe and no one a stranger. Transformation involves not only changes in heart, attitudes, and behaviors, but also changes that bring about fundamental redistribution of power. It is more imperative than ever—in the midst of these frightening times— that we nurture communities of faith where we can sit down and weep, where we can engage in the difficult and exhilarating work of learning from our differences, where those of us who have been silenced are encouraged to speak in our own voice, where those of us who hold power and privilege are called to account and allowed to change, where we can actively and tenderly care for ourselves and each other, and where we can celebrate even the smallest breakthroughs with exuberance. With Christ as the cornerstone, we can be a dwelling place for God—a people changing each other’s despair into hope—asking always: For whom is the world, the church, not yet safe? Who is the stranger, the alien, in our midst? ▼ Source This article is adapted from a sermon preached at the closing worship of the 20th General Synod, United Church of Christ, July 4, 1995, Oakland, California. Used with permission. The full text can be obtained by writing Melanie Morrison, PO Box 23233, Lansing, MI 48909. Notes 1Excerpts from Adrienne Rich, “Dreams Before Waking,” Your Native Land, Your Life (New York: Norton, 1986), p. 46. 2Rita Nakashima Brock, “Reflections on Mirrors, Motheroot, and Memory,” delivered on November 6, 1993 at the Re-Imagining Conference, Minneapolis, Minnesota. 3Ibid. Melanie Morrison, Ph.D. candidate, is an ordained United Church of Christ minister and co-director of Leaven in Lansing, Michigan. She is the author of a new book, The Grace of Coming Home: Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice (Pilgrim, Fall 1995). Ephesians 2:13-22 (NRSV) But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near.... For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.... So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but...a dwelling place for God. 20 Open Hands In the midst of our work of building a truly inclusive church where lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons will join hands with heterosexuals in full membership, we have said little about our experience with denominational executives who go by many titles but see themselves in this struggle mainly as gate keepers or peace keepers. Has it been your experience that we get smiles, pats on the back, private conferences— all very sincere—from these executives, but little translation of this private aid into open support or action? As our passion has escalated, denominational executives have developed a distance apparently born of a perceived need for “scrupulous fairness,” a need for “balanced discussion,” or a call to “study both sides of the issue.” Such “fairness” and “balance” translates into little or nothing getting past the gate keepers into the judicatory process. As a Presbyterian, I see this so clearly in our General Assembly’s three-year mandate for judicatory dialogue on homosexuality and ordination. Little dialogue has taken place and some of this has to do with our paid personnel. We hear over and over that 20 percent of Presbyterians are liberal, 20 percent are conservative, and the rest in the middle want to get rid of divisive issues. We have been turned into “an issue.” We are not an issue. We are Presbyterian people. A constant attempt is made to thwart large public meetings. A “play it down mentality” has developed in the Presbyterian Church which translates into “let’s not bring in Janie Spahr or Chris Glaser who will speak eloquently on behalf of gay and lesbian people. Public meetings with publicity will just stir up this divisive issue.” When a meeting is convened, it must be scrupulously fair, with equal time given both sides. Yet those who would limit our rights have been speaking for almost 2,000 years; we have been sharing our experiences for only ten to twenty years. What is fair? This “fairness” approach grows out of that hollow scream of the Old Testament false prophets: “Peace, peace, when there is no peace” (Jer 6:14, NRSV). Our gate keeper executives are screaming: “Let’s keep it within limits, not let it destroy the denomination.” How can there be peace when people are not free? How can denominations continue when their children, youth, and adults who are not heterosexual are made second class members with no chance of up-grade to first class in spite of having earned thousands of “frequent flyer” bonus miles? Not only is the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy prevalent in our denominations, this insidious denominational control called “fairness” is stifling what dialogue might occur. In the Presbyterian denomination, as in so many others, “judicatory dialogue” is truly an oxymoron. A Reminder and a Story Denominational executives who advocate peace where there is no peace—because justice and freedom do not yet exist for all God’s people—will ultimately self-destruct. For example, the end result of the struggle for power in the Southern Baptist denomination between the moderates and conservatives was that denominational executives and seminary professors who tried to “be fair” were fired at the same rate as those who spoke out more boldly. Rebecca Prichard, currently assistant dean of Christian Theological Seminary, was in the spring of 1991 the associate executive in the San Francisco Presbytery when the Presbyterian Human Sexuality report Keeping Body and Soul Together was to be voted on at General Assembly. A TV station did a program which included an interview with Jane Spahr (an open ordained lesbian), a minister who disagreed with Spahr’s and the report’s position, and Rebecca Prichard, who was asked to speak on “the Presbyterian point of view.” Prichard was very much in favor of the new human sexuality report. She says, “In retrospect, I wish I would have supported it fully since I felt so positive about it. I got as much negative flack by being mild as I would have gotten had I spoken my conscience, which fully supported the report.”1 A Call to Action We hire executives not only for their program and administrative expertise, but also as people of God. We seek their honest opinion on all matters of faith. We expect them to keep people open to Jesus who in thirty-three years fully opened the church to all God’s wonderful rainbow of creation. Our executives must be visionary, a breath of fresh air, wind of the Holy Spirit. They must not be bound by the “Peace, peace when there is no peace” school of denominational training. If our denominational bureaucracy would translate their beliefs openly into their daily work, they might break the deadlock occurring in most denominations today. What if our executives objected to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons being labeled a divisive issue? What if they referred to us as people, not “an issue” or “a divisive issue”—and objected when others used that language? Words can help. We are people who seek to replace eight isolated biblical verses being hurled at us as a weapon with a gospel message of welcome. We are a people who are included in the Beatitudes, John By Howard B. Warren, Jr. Fall 1995 21 3:16, the Great Commandment—where no silent asterisk says, “for heterosexuals only.” I want to say this to denominational executives: So many of you believe what we are saying. As executives, so many of you have opened the gate for us in small and large ways. Hear our plea as God’s people and use your power, privilege, ability, and ecclesial authority to move your denominations to reflect the passion of Jesus who made it a point to let the outsiders in. How far we have come in several decades; yet we sense walls being built, doors slamming shut. Some of this wall building and door slamming comes from your fears as denominational personnel. If this is so for you, do as Jesus would, as Peter would. Open yourself to the Holy Spirit. Become as those early church people touched by the Holy Spirit who are “turning the world upside down” (Acts 17:6, NRSV). Early church folks who sought to open the love of God to all were considered trouble makers (NEV, TEV), much as we are What We Expect from our Denominational Executives 1) Active and open honesty 2) A process that is not closed and filled with fear 3) An attitude that sees us as people, not an “issue” 4) A realization that preaching and administering “Peace, peace, when there is no peace” will self-destruct, developing bitterness which will spread in all directions, including toward themselves 5) Prophetic leadership. —Howard B. Warren, Jr. tions. Let us all use our calling by God to share this Good News that all Christians are “first-class flyers”! ▼ Notes 1Story is used with Prichard’s permission. 2Carl Jung as quoted by Chris Glaser in The Word is Out, (San Francisco: Harper, 1994). Howard B. Warren, Jr. is director of pastoral care at the Damien Center in Indianapolis, Indiana, and an ordained clergyperson in the Presbyterian Church, USA. today when we seek to open the doors of the church. Let’s do it again. Let’s all turn the world upside down. Let’s become true gate keepers for Christ’s Good News that all are welcome at God’s table! Otherwise, in the next decades of the new millennium, we will only reinforce Carl Jung’s observation that “Religion is a defense against the experience of God.”2 We have experienced and been called by God in our diverse sexual orienta22 Open Hands nce upon a time, a millennium or two ago, on a volcanic island that has long since been covered by the waters of the sea, there existed a small nation known as the People of the Eyes. The Eyesonians were distinguished by their large round eyes and by the fact that they valued seeing clearly more than anything else. At the center of their city, on the highest hill overlooking the sea, stood a beautiful temple which had been carved in the shape of an eyeball. The windows and turrets of the temple were gilded in gold and on the pinnacle, which pointed outward and upward over the sea, was the pupil of the eye: a large observatory enclosed in dark, tinted glass. Every day seventeen priests in burgundy robes climbed a long, elliptical staircase to the center of the eye and took their places in the holy seers’ chairs, where they read the clouds that passed before them over the waves. Their readings were recorded in the Scroll of Visions to be read and interpreted by the high priest on Seeing Days. The faithful ascended the hill once every week on these Seeing Days to pay homage to the All Seeing One, the Great Eye, whom they believed to be the giver of all life. They passed first through the Hall of Benefactions to lay down their tithes of silver and gold. Then those who were deemed worthy—those who had clear seeing eyes and thus pure hearts— were admitted into the Visionarium to offer prayers to the All Seeing One and to listen as the high priest read from the Scroll of Visions. Ironically, the persons with the most status and power in this society that valued seeing clearly above all things were those who had just one eye. Only the One-Eyes were permitted to be priests, political leaders, healers, teachers, and merchants. It was believed that they possessed a clarity of vision unequaled by persons who had two eyes or three eyes. Two-eyed people worked in lower level jobs in the fishing fleet, in the marketplace, and as managers of the households of their one-eyed masters. They were given no formal education and could not vote in the elections, but were allowed to enter the temple and to offer their prayers from a roped off section in the back of the Visionarium. Three-eyed persons, who made up only about 10 percent of the population, were considered to be unclean—an abomination in the eye of the deity and unfit to enter the temple on any occasion. Their extra eye was believed to distort their vision, preventing them from seeing clearly. The Two-Eyes lorded over them and forced them to do the most menial and undesirable tasks. They were shunned altogether by the One-Eyes. Marriage was forbidden to them and, according to a strictly enforced law, they were not to look a two-eyed person or a one-eyed person in the eye. Any group of three one-eyed persons or six twoeyed persons could, upon the word of a single witness, have a three-eyed person’s eyes put out for as much as glancing at their better’s face. Hundreds of three-eyed persons had suffered this miserable fate. They made their living by begging outside the gates of the temple on Seeing Days. This cruel three-tiered caste system grew harsher with each passing year. Whenever a three-eyed baby was born— always to two-eyed or one-eyed parents because three-eyed persons were not allowed to give birth—a day of mourning was declared and the child was taken to a sanitarium on the edge of the island to be raised and schooled in the ways of his or her own kind. Some parents resisted this forced parting and managed to keep their three-eyed children for a time, but the authorities always found them out. Then the parents were taken in chains before the high priest to be admonished. “You are not seeing clearly,” he would say. “Our ways are the will of the Great Eye. The All Seeing One’s words are written in the Scroll of Visions. Let all eyes be open to the truth of the way.” So the oppression and the persecution went on for centuries, until one day there came a new vision. A young priest was reading the clouds that day from his perch in the pupil- shaped observatory on the pinnacle of the temple when he happened to see a most unusual formation passing before him. A large, dark cloud, which appeared to have three eyes, was swallowing up two smaller clouds. One of the smaller clouds had one eye and the other had two eyes. After a time, the three clouds separated and floated along together, equal in size, until they disappeared over the horizon. When the young priest reported his most unusual sighting to the other priests, they agreed that the message was unmistakably clear. He was about to record in the Scroll of Visions what he had seen when the high priest intervened, saying, “I cannot deliver a message like that to the people. It is more than they will be able to accept. They will not believe it is from the All Seeing One. Many of them will be angry with us and they will stop coming to the By John Sumwalt Fall 1995 23 people are ready, then we shall share this new vision with them.” So the new vision was not recorded in the Scroll of Visions. On the very next Seeing Day, just as the high priest stood up to read from the scroll, the temple was struck by a bolt of lightning which shattered the glass in the pupil observatory high above the Visionarium where the worshipers were seated. A single shard of the broken glass fell straight down into the center of the Visionarium, piercing the heart of the high priest, and he fell down dead. All of the people, including the sixteen remaining priests, were terrified. No one moved and not a word was spoken for several moments. At last, one of the younger priests, the one who had sighted the startling cloud formation, stepped forward. “Be calm. Have no fear,” he said as he looked out on the frightened worshipers. “We have a new vision to share with you. We had planned to keep it from you until a later time, but now it is clear that we cannot hide what the All Seeing One wishes you to see.” Then he told them exactly what he had seen in the clouds and announced that three-eyed, two-eyed, and one-eyed people should all be considered equal, as it had been declared by the Great Eye. In the same moment, the eyes of the three-eyed blind beggars outside the temple gates were healed and they rushed into the Visionarium, fell on their knees, and began to give thanks to the All Seeing One for their deliverance. From that day on, everyone among the People of the Eyes saw clearly and lived in peace and harmony together. ▼ Source This story is reprinted from Lectionary Stories, Cycle A by permission of CSS Publishing Company, 517 S. Main Street, PO Box 4503, Lima, OH 45802- 4503. John Sumwalt is senior pastor of Wauwatosa Avenue United Methodist Church in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. He and his wife Jo Perr y- Sumwalt, Christian education director at the same church, are co-authors of a new book, Life Stories: A Study in Christian Decision Making (CSS Publishing), 1995. temple on Seeing Days. How will we operate the temple without their tithes of silver and gold? Surely the All Seeing One would not want us to read a vision from the Scroll that would cause our people to turn away.” “But what, then, shall we record in the Scroll of Visions?” one of the youngest priests inquired. “We shall say that there was no new vision this week. I shall simply read one of the old visions as I have often done in the past when no new vision was given. When the time is right, when the 24 Open Hands Session 1: A Question of Diversity Introduced idea that racism, classism, sexism, and heterosexism are about privilege, prejudice, and power. Discussed a provisional definition of heterosexism: “the assumption that all people are heterosexual, that being heterosexual is normal, and that heterosexuality is either the best way or the only way to be, along with the institutional supports for these assumptions.” Discussed what heterosexuality is and suggested a definition: “the attractions that individuals have for persons of the ‘opposite’ or ‘other’ gender, the willingness to act on these attractions under appropriate circumstances, the structures that support the relationships that develop: dating, romance, marriage, family, school, church, law, culture, arts, speech, medicine; and the lifestyles that are associated with these relationships.” Introduced concept of sexual orientation with handout of Klein grid which suggests seven parts to sexual orientation (attractions, sexual behavior, fantasies, emotional and social preferences, self identification, and lifestyle) and allows individuals to rank themselves using Kinsey scale (0=other sex only to 6=same sex only).1 Participants took exercise home to fill out in private and reflect on their own experience. Showed 40-minute excerpt from movie Word is Out.2 Introduced by noting these were people whose lives had been greatly affected by heterosexism. Movie intercuts interviews of twentysix gay men and lesbian women into a story of oppression, hope, and triumph. At one point, group wanted to stop viewing; the oppression was so painful it was hard to watch. Discussed group’s feelings; acknowledged need for ministry. Last March my church discovered a new word! One General Conference petition presented to our administrative board called for regional and national meetings on “Heterosexism and the Mission of the Church.” This petition generated significant discussion because the word heterosexism was new to most people present. Our church affirmed this petition— with the condition that we study heterosexism by the time Annual Conference met in early June. In May, I offered the three one-hour sessions outlined below. Session 2: A Question of Privilege Opened with discussion of previous week’s session. Repeated suggestion that the “isms” have to do with privilege, prejudice, and power. Suggested, through use of article “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” that a set of unconscious and invisible privileges are attached to being white in American culture.3 Read quickly through a handout of twenty-six realizations from article. Challenged group to modify each statement to make it true for heterosexual privilege. For example, “I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time” became “I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my orientation most of the time”—a privilege heterosexual people regularly enjoy. Never made it to all statements. Discussion seemed enlightening. Session 3: A Question of Faith Discussed petitions church had affirmed. Offered overview of the larger church debate on homosexuality. Identified and discussed Warren Church’s present ministry of hospitality. (“A Community of Reconciliation Serving Capitol Hill” is posted on our bulletin board though we are not a Reconciling Congregation.) Closed with excerpt from videotape of musical Home: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal, exploring idea that God’s grace is available to all.4 Diversity, Privilege, and Faith: Studying Connections By Ben Roe Fall 1995 25 Participant Reactions Jane Riecke (new pastor): “Part of the obstacle was the amount of time we needed just on the definition of heterosexism. It reminded me of talk when I was growing up about just what prejudice was.” Kate Rose: “We shouldn’t run away from the discomfort others have; it’s OK just to let them be uncomfortable. We need to treat each other with gentleness in the midst of the discomfort.” David Dunn: “We need to learn how to relax with our anxieties so they don’t blow us into our minds but deeper into our hearts. …The exercise on racism and heterosexism transformed the dialog by recasting the discussion, taking it out of the realm of gender into an area equally difficult but a bit more comfortable.” Next time I would ✚offer at least four sessions. ✚replace the videos with real people if possible. As it was, three or four participants shared some of their gay/ lesbian-related experiences. ✚choose a room more conducive to the intensity of the subject than our large, open Adult Forum space. ✚plan a biblical study to focus on hospitality, diversity, and ministry, as well as on biblical interpretation of passages commonly associated with homosexuality. ▼ Notes 1Fritz Klein, Barry Sepekoff, and Timothy Wolf, “Sexual Orientation: A Multi-Variable Dynamic Process” in Two Lives to Lead: Bisexuality in Men and Women (New York: Harrington Park Press, 1985). 2Video rental stores with a gay clientele may carry it. 3Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” Peace and Freedom (July/August, 1989), pp. 10-12. 4Videotape is quite usable with other denominations. See p. 32. Ben Roe is a United Methodist clergyman living in Denver. Sustaining the Spirit A Litany for Freedom By Randy Miller Soloist: “God of our weary years”— People: How long shall we wait, O God, and when shall we be free? Leader: We are your people, scarred by prejudice and disfigured by privilege, Seemingly forgotten by all save Jesus. People: When shall we be free? Soloist: “God of our silent tears”— Leader: Trapped in closets not of our own making Caught in ghettos not of our choice Our silent tears still flow, O God; Our cries rise up to you. People: We are weary, bleeding, bruised, and tired, Tempted to lay down our burdens and softly steal ‘way home. Soloist: “Thou who hast brought us thus far on the way”— Leader: And lovingly called us yours, And sweetly whispered our names: People: Not oppressor and oppressed but “wholly redeemed” Not privileged and deprived but “child of God” Not master and slave, but “disciple of Christ.” Soloist: “Lest our feet stray from the places our God where we met thee. Lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the world we forget thee.” Leader: Locked in power struggles we cannot escape Blindly turning privileges to our advantage. People: Our daily fears enslave us, O God When shall we be free? Soloist: “Shadowed beneath thy hand, May we forever stand”— Leader: And not only stand, O God, but dance— For your daughters have visioned it, And your sons have dreamed it. People: Someday we all shall be free! Soloist: “True to our God, true to our native land.” Leader: And to your New Earth, O God. People: True to ourselves as you have seen us. Leader: True to the vision of a brighter day to come. All: Amen. Source Solo is excerpted from verse 3 of “Lift Every Voice and Sing.” Full text and music can be found in Songs of Zion (Nashville: Abingdon, 1981). Spoken parts are adapted from a litany originally published in Open Hands in Spring 1987. It may be reprinted for local worship events with full credits attached. 26 Open Hands Editorial One More Word If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 On Valuing Differences Valuing human differences is a major aspect of the ministries of our growing ecumenical welcoming church movement. Within the movement, more and more of us identify our call to Christian discipleship as a call to embrace all of God’s people because of race or ethnicity, gender, orientation, age, ability, class, and religious belief. Not “regardless of...” Not “in spite of...” But “because of...”! We are not asking each other as Christians to “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” We are asking sisters and brothers in Christ to “welcome and affirm the presence of les/bi/gay persons of faith” among us. We are not asking for “tolerance of gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons” as second-class church members with partial rights and privileges. We are inviting all persons into communion, membership, and ministry with full rights and privileges. We are not asking persons to hide or lie about their identities—or to leave our presence—in order “keep the church from splitting.” We are inviting each other to engage in a hard process of reconciling our conflicts and differences while inviting everyone to the table. Beyond these steps, however, the welcoming church movement is also challenging each of us, whatever our personal beliefs, to value all persons equally as beloved daughters and sons of God. To value someone because of their differences is very different from tolerating them or even accepting them into “our circle.” To truly value differences is to recognize each person’s gifts and graces and to claim joyfully the richness that those different gifts and graces bring into the human circle. To truly value human differences is to seek out various people for their unique experiences and insights, knowing that without them we ourselves remain less than whole. To truly value human differences is to treat each person as a beloved daughter or son of God—and a beloved friend of our own! If we are to truly begin to value human differences, we will need to do our homework on the issues and realities of oppression in our society and in our church, for oppressive systems systematically devalue some persons and overvalue others based on their race or ethnicity, or their age, ability, gender, class, or orientation. We will need to explore such questions as: How does oppression really “work” in our society? How do the dynamics of privilege feed the destructive forces of prejudice. Why aren’t human differences valued equally? Who decides? How does privilege play into a devaluing of some human beings and an over-valuing of others? How do we either actively oppress others or aid and abet a society and church to continue its oppressive ways? How do our church traditions and personal beliefs contribute to on-going oppression? (This issue of Open Hands offers a beginning exploration of these questions and concerns.) To continue a ministry of valuing differences among God’s people, however, requires more than a focus on the crucial problems of prejudice, privilege, and oppression. It also requires a vision of God’s people working, playing, praying, singing, crying, and weaving its way into holy community. And it requires processes that will help move us from a society and church that are stuck in the dynamics of privilege and prejudice toward the vision of God’s community of persons who value differences. (The winter issue of Open Hands will focus on this vision and process). Working with God toward God’s wild and wonderful, allinclusive commonwealth involves committing ourselves to the nitty-gritty daily work of naming and untangling prejudice and privilege. It also calls us to dismantle oppressive systems and processes wherever and whenever we encounter them. Finally, it requires us to weave or reweave a glorious human fabric of the communion of all God’s beloved people who bring unique and valuable gifts to the table...because of their race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, age, ability, class, and religious beliefs. What a weaving that will be! Issue Year Working Title Spring 1996 Living with/Learning from Conflict Summer 1996 Airing Out Closets: Individual, Congregational, Denominational Fall 1996 Gender/Transgender Issues and Stories Winter 1997 Welcoming Voices in the Wilderness Spring 1997 Marriage: Civil and Sacred Issues Summer 1997 Baptism & Communion: The Rites of the Right to Be Here Call for articles for Fall 1995 27 ▼?▼?▼? Quotes We Wanted to Share on Prejudice “It is an affront...to categorize a segment of the human family for the sole purpose of exclusion.” —Martin Deppe, pastor of Irving Park United Methodist Church (RCP), Chicago, Illinois From Shalom to You, Nov-Dec. 1994, p. 3. “We as Black people ought to reach out to people and say, ‘I don’t care who you are; I know what it’s like to be cast out.’ If we’re a church of love, we should love everybody!” —Cecil Williams, pastor of 3,000-member Glide Memorial United Methodist Church, San Francisco, speaking to a March 1994 meeting of Black Methodists for Church Renewal. From The United Methodist Newscope, April 8, 1994, p. 1. Why is it that... ...people often speak of the traditional clothing of persons from other nations as “costumes”? Clothes are clothes. Setting up that which we are particularly familiar with as the generic “clothes”—the universal definition of clothes—is arrogant to say the least. ...only European music is marketed as classical music? Why is Nigerian and Bolivian music labeled folkloric? Why isn’t there such a thing as Nigerian classical music or Bolivian classical music? Who gets to define this? ...some still think it awkward and offensive as a white person to call attention to someone else’s race or ethnic origins? Is it assumed that the person of color doesn’t know he or she is a person of color? Come on, now! —From the Racial Justice Newsletter, Racial Justice Working Group, Prophetic Justice Unit, NCC of Christ (as found in Wheadon UMC newsletter). On Images of God Dear Elizabeth Andrew, I read your beautiful article, “My-God-Who-Is-Like-a-River” in the Spring 1995 issue. I wanted to let you know that I thought your writing was wonderfully clear and powerfully moving. I grew up along the Delaware River in the Pocono Mountains and felt the joy of nature as a boy. My favorite place to be is the cool, clear pool of water and waterfall created by a small (unnamed) stream following through the mountain. It is there that I experience the renewal of God. The God I experienced in my early church was a punishing God, but Jesus was the warm, accepting Being I urgently needed for comforting. I have since been able to see God as nurturing also. Comments & Letters My worshiping community is a pro-lesbian/gay, feminist house church where we are continuing to explore images of God. As you stated, it is a continuous personal and collective journey of faith. May God bless all of our journeys. Thank you for sharing yours. —Michael Siptroth, Seattle, Washington On our 10th Anniversary Issue “What a great issue! I got it today and read it cover to cover!” “I’m a fairly new reader and it was great to read about how the magazine got started.” “A wonderful issue. The magazine just keeps getting better and better!” “Loved the ‘family album’ look of the summer issue!” “Even though I knew most of the magazine’s history, I found it very interesting.” “Photos and comments from early readers were very inspiring!” “Loved all the photos!” “It’s great. I’m a newer subscriber and I really appreciate the history of the magazine. I didn’t know a lot of it.” “What an excellent issue—every bit of it! I took it to work the morning I got it and read it cover to cover!” On our Magazine Dear Friends, Enclosed is my renewal of subscription for Open Hands. Your magazine is a comforting word for the fevered brow—and that image is good even when the Midwest isn’t being fried by extremely high summer temperatures and humidity! Here in the very conservative state of Indiana there is ecclesial sensitivity to gay and lesbian Christians, but, like everywhere, there also is an enormous amount of hostility and ambiguity, ambivalence, and avoidance. While hostility is a constant, perhaps the worst time of it is in the places where “acceptance” or “tolerance” is ambiguous, ambivalent, and thinly-veiled avoidance. I feel worn, depleted, fatigued by the difficulties of wrestling with issues in such a half-light. While I remain the member of a local associated church’s panel on peace and justice education, I have been so exhausted by the tasks that I’ve virtually stopped attending and contributing to that group. And there’s my particular challenge. I am aware that I lack an immediate and local support system of gay people who are invested and active in church. Efforts to find support systems haven’t been fruitful. I try not to take it personally. So, for me, Open Hands is utilized for meditation and prayer, for power and energizing faith of those who witness therein— and I save every issue. Thank you. —Robert M. Zahrt, Fort Wayne, Indiana Readers Invited to Respond Send us your comments on past themes and articles or your concerns about particular struggles in the welcoming church community. Write a short personal reflection piece on one of the themes for upcoming issues (see box on page 26). Send to Editor, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641. Fax: 312/736-5475. What Do You Think? 28 Open Hands Selected Resources Hawley, John Stratton. Fundamentalism and Gender. New York: Oxford Univ. Press, 1994. Examines “connection between fundamentalism and gender” in a global perspective through case studies on American Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and the New Religions of Japan. A must read book! hooks, bell. Yearning: race, gender, and cultural politics. Boston: South End, 1990. Warns that the current infatuation with words like difference or Other detaches us from real struggles of racism, sexism, and cultural imperialism more appropriately described by words like oppression, dominance, exploitation. (p. 51) Jung, Patricia Beattie and Ralph F. Smith. Heterosexism: An Ethical Challenge. New York: SUNY Press, 1993. Explores and dismisses the prevailing sexual ethic. Examines how heterosexism both “grows out of and supports” this ethic. Lerner, Gerda. The Creation of Patriarchy. Oxford: Oxford Univ. Press, 1986. Provides a “grand historical framework...about women’s place in the world” and “origins of the collective dominance of women by men”—based on serious historical research reaching back to pre-biblical times. Macdonald, Barbara and Cynthia Rich. Look Me In the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism. Exp. ed. San Francisco: Spinsters, 1991. Mystery writer Carolyn Heilbrun writes of this book: “Even for those not yet on the edge of old age, this voice must be heard.” Ratti, Rakesh, ed. A Lotus of Another Color: An Unfolding of the South Asian Gay and Lesbian Experience. Boston: Alyson, 1993. Through essays and poetry, gay men and lesbians from Bhutan, Bangladesh, India, the Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka tell of coming out and challenging prejudice from both South Asian and gay cultures. Riggs, Marcia Y. Awake, Arise & Act: A Womanist Call for Black Liberation. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1995. Uses a womanist approach based on Beverly Harrison’s “sociohistorical ethical method”; explores interconnections of race, gender, and class, moving reader away from realities of class competition toward images of communal liberation. Segrest, Mab. Memoir of a Race Traitor. Boston: South End, 1994. Through stories of her journey, both intimate and political, a southern white lesbian weaves realities of racism, sexism, heterosexism, and classism. West, Cornel. Race Matters. Boston: Beacon, 1993. Goes beyond liberal and conservative rhetoric of most race discussions; tackles “some of today’s most urgent issues for black Americans,” breaking “taboos of silence in the black community” while keeping readers accountable to realities of race in America. FOR CHILDREN Every Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Prejudice and Discrimination. Grades 2-5. “Through specific and realistic examples, children learn about opinions—how they’re formed and how they impact prejudice and discrimination.” (catalog) Order from American Guidance Service. 1-800-328-2560. ON PREJUDICE, POWER, AND PRIVILEGE Anzaldua, Gloria, ed. Making Face, Making Soul: Creative and Critical Perspectives by Women of Color. San Francisco: Aunt Lute, 1990. Poems, short stories, and essays addressing racism, silencing techniques of white people, and alliances. Amott, Teresa L. and Julie A. Matthaei. Race, Gender & Work: A Multicultural Economic History of Women in the United States. Boston: South End, 1991. Outlines diversity of women’s work contributions (paid and unpaid) to U.S. economic history; explores processes of exploitation and oppression; highlights transformations in gender, racial-ethnic, and class hierarchies accompanying capitalist economic expansion. Baird, Robert M. and Stuart E. Rosenbaum, eds. Bigotry, Prejudice and Hatred: Definitions, Causes & Solutions. Buffalo: Prometheus, 1992. See Elliot Aronson’s “Causes of Prejudice” and Paula Rothenberg’s chapter on implications of difference for progressive work in 1990s. Explores themes using race, gender, and orientation. Bulkin, Elly; Minnie Bruce Pratt; and Barbara Smith. Yours in Struggle: Three Feminist Perspectives on Anti-Semitism and Racism. Reissued ed. Ithaca: Firebrand, 1988. Ashkenazi Jew, white Christian-raised southerner, and Afro-American women speak for themselves. Eiesland, Nancy L. The Disabled God: Toward a Liberatory Theology of Disability. Nashville: Abingdon, 1994. Proposes that we celebrate the disabled God (Christ) in Eucharist. Frankenberg, Ruth. The Social Construction of Whiteness: White Women, Race Matters. Minneapolis: Univ. of Minnesota Press, 1993. Examines results of life history interviews with white women; discusses ways race privilege affects white women; explores how privilege works in the larger social structure. Frye, Marilyn. The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory. Trumansburg, New York: Crossing, 1983. A feminist classic. Explores realities of oppression, sexism, “the problem that has no name,” power, being white, and gay male supremacy. Gioseffi, Daniela, ed. On Prejudice: A Global Perspective. New York: Anchor, 1993. Explores “fundamental nature and expression of human prejudice from global and historical perspectives” as expressed in racism, ethnocentrism, and environmental racism. Also helpful to those addressing homophobia. Fall 1995 29 OPEN AND AFFIRMING Movement News Introducing our New Welcoming Churches We welcome these six new churches to our growing movement. Christ Congregational UCC Silver Spring, Maryland Started by the Congregational Christian Church, this 700- member faith community is now celebrating fifty years of ministry. Silver Spring is located in the lower eastern part of Montgomery County which is experiencing rapid urbanization. The area around the church is growing in ethnic diversity. Efforts to embrace diversity are not new to the church, however. It was the first church in the area to integrate racially in the 1950s and has been a leader in developing open housing ordinances and setting up services for the homeless. The congregation has also participated in exchange/work programs with Russia and Latin America. It continues to explore ways to publicize and implement its ONA commitment. Fremont Congregational Church Fremont, California Located in the San Francisco Bay area, this 120-member church continues its long history of social justice and mission, including support of a local homeless shelter and outreach to those living with AIDS. It was the first congregation in the area to offer space in its building for AIDS ministry. The children’s summer service project provided food, cards, and other greetings to thirty AIDS clients. The church is also building relationships through monthly intergenerational worship services. Hingham Congregational Church Hingham, Massachusetts This suburban congregation of 450 members strives to create a strong sense of community and to reach out in mission and witness. Its active Youth Work Camp sent young people to Kentucky this year. In 1996, the program’s tenth year, participants will travel to Montana. The church also supports a children’s hospital in Haiti. In keeping with its ONA commitment and its desire to be welcoming to a wide range of people, the congregation will be discussing what it is like “to be the WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. other” and wants to continue to explore the place of politics in the church and the meaning of “reconciliation.” The First Church in Oberlin Oberlin, Ohio Steeped in a tradition of advocacy for the rights of women and minorities, this small college town church of 500 members is challenged to carry on that heritage as it moves into the 21st century. It expressed that commitment recently by offering its facilities for a student production of “Bent,” a drama about gay men in the Nazi camps. The church has just funded the first Heifer Project in South Africa which will provide cows for families in the improverished community of Fort Beaufort. For the past few years, First Church has led its Association in giving for Our Church’s Wider Mission. Malibu United Methodist Church Malibu, California Located across the street from the beach, this church of 95 members is known as the “small church with the big heart.” The congregation is comprised of young families with many children and youth. The worship style is informal and innovative, involving frequent intergenerational activities. Malibu’s RC decision in June was the culmination of two years of education by the RC Committee which will continue its educational efforts as the congregation learns to live out its RC commitment. Morningside United Methodist Church Salem, Oregon Located in a suburban residential neighborhood of Salem, Morningside was founded forty years ago. Its 500 members are largely middle-class professionals. Two Sunday worship experiences are offered—one contemporary and one more traditional. The congregation has long expressed concerns for peace and justice through its soup kitchen ministry and the Salem Outreach Shelter. This summer nineteen youth and adults traveled to Honduras to work in a children’s nutrition center and to build homes. The congregation is beginning to explore ways to let the larger community know of their RC decision and their openness to gay and lesbian persons. RECONCILING 30 Open Hands RCP Calls on UMC to “Open the Doors” The Reconciling Congregation Program has launched a campaign to call on the April 1996 General Conference of The United Methodist Church to Open the Doors. Recognizing that past General Conferences have sought to pronounce moral judgment upon homosexuality, Reconciling Congregations are calling on the church to offer words of welcome and hospitality to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families and friends. The goals of the Open the Doors campaign are: 1) 9,600 persons in 1996 to publicly declare themselves as “Reconciling United Methodists” and 2) General Conference to include “sexual orientation” in its nondiscrimination policies for membership in local churches and other church bodies. Regional training and planning events—“Knock-Ins”—are being held in six cities to develop Open the Doors plans for local churches and annual conferences. Knock-In dates and cities are; October 14 in Chicago and Denver; October 21 in Dallas and New York; October 28 in Atlanta and San Francisco. To enroll as a Reconciling United Methodist or to find out how you can be part of the Open the Doors campaign, contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. New ONA Program Committee Formed With 170 United Church of Christ congregations now listed as Open and Affirming, the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns Council has approved a new structure, the ONA Program Committee, to be added to the existing ONA leadership with the intent of further strengthening ONA outreach in the UCC. This new committee was the recommendation of the ONA Structure Committee after over a year of planning. It will be made up of five volunteer Program Associates who will work with ONA issues in the following areas: UCC Conferences, UCC Associations, Higher Education, Ecumenical Relations, and Resource Development. Each Program Associate will work directly with the ONA Coordinator and consult as necessary with the four-member ONA Advisory Committee which was formed in 1992 to advise the Coordinator. “The Coalition views this new leadership structure as an exciting experiment in widening the ONA witness throughout our denomination! We’ll get this up and running and then be willing to make adjustments as we go along. Our goal is to make the ONA Program increasingly effective and responsive to the needs of our churches and other bodies interested in the ONA process,” said Ann B. Day, ONA Program Coordinator. The ONA Advisory Committee will appoint the Program Associates. Persons interested in more information about the Program Associates positions may write to: ONA-UCCL/GC, PO Box 403, Holden, MA 01520. W&A Baptists Join Open Hands Venture The council of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (W&A) voted in September to join in the ecumenical publishing venture of Open Hands. There are currently twentyseven W&A congregations, four other organizations, and approximately fifty W&A individuals. W&A Baptists join the Reconciling Congregation Program, (United Methodist founding group), the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Reconciled in Christ program (ELCA), and Open and Affirming program (United Church of Christ). Watch for an American Baptist presence starting with the winter 1996 issue of Open Hands! For more information, contact Brenda Moulton, Association Coordinator, P.O. Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894. Ecumenical Ties Celebrated The Open Hands Advisory Committee and national program leaders, representing seven denominational welcoming programs, held their joint annual meeting on September 16-17. Meeting in the new national office space of the Reconciling Congregation Program in Chicago, the two groups evaluated the magazine, planned new themes, and thoroughly enjoyed engaging in theological discussion on an ecumenical basis. In a separate meeting, the national coordinators celebrated the continued growth of each of our programs and reviewed plans to develop an ecumenical curriculum for adult study of selected biblical passages and welcoming themes. Co-producers include the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, the O&A Ministries Program of GLAD Alliance, the ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, and the Reconciling Congregation Program. Other groups are also considering joining in this ecumenical project. “Dancing at the Wall” Draws Ninety A two-day event, Dancing at the Wall: Re-Imagining the Church, was recently sponsored by the Church of the Brethren Woman’s Caucus and the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC). Held in Charlotte, North Carolina, the event was designed as a liturgy of reflection and celebration. Participants explored the theme through drama, art, biblical and theological reflection, music, dance, and ritual. Two powerful visual images, a wall of bricks and a tapestry woven during the conference, graphically symbolized the tension between the pain of exclusion and the joy of faith. Prior to the 1996 Church of the Brethren Annual Conference in Cincinnati, the BMC Supportive Congregations Network will sponsor an event on the theme “Dancing at the Table: Re-imagining the Church.” For more information, contact Jim Sauder, BMC Coordinator, at 612/305-0315. Worship I & II (Thurs. & Fri.) ...........................$25 Worship III & IV (Sat. & Sun.) .........................$25 Forums I & II (Fri. & Sat a.m.) ........................$25 Forum III (Fri. p.m.) .........................................$25 Forum IV (Sun. a.m.) ......................................$25 Biblical Reflections (Fri., Sat., Sun.)...............$25 Saturday Night Celebration ............................$25 (Recognition of leaders & HOME) Order RCP Convocation Videos Now! SPECIAL - ALL 7 TAPES @ $150 Order from: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 VISA/MASTERCARD possible. Call 312/736-5526. The fourth national Convocation of the Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist), meeting from July 13-16 on the Augsburg College campus in Minneapolis, drew 375 persons from across the United States, along with representatives from England, Australia, and Canada. FAVORITE PASTTIME: Browsing and buying resources1 Fourth National RCP Convocation Is a Huge Success! Our paths may diverge—but they’ll finally merge When we get to the Promised Land. Pat Nunn, Beaver Memorial UMC, Lewisburg, Pennsylvania From poem, “In the Wilderness,” written at convocation DAILY BIBLE STUDY: Bishop Roy Sano (Los Angeles Area) relaxes after his daily presentation.1 Fall 1995 31 STRONG YOUTH PRESENCE: Youth, with leaders Melany Burrill (left) and Chip Aldridge (right), share some of their activities and learnings. Prior to the Convocation, 45 youth, students, and young adults gathered in a pioneering rally to address reconciling ministries in school settings.1 THE CALL: During opening worship, leaders call for witnesses from west, east, south, and north. Participants from those regions stand as candles brought from home churches are lit.1 PROMINENT UNITED METHODIST ‘COMES OUT’: The Reverend Jeanne Audrey Powers, Associate General Secretary of the General Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns, UMC, preaches on the resistance of the midwives in Exodus. Powers, drawing media attention, invited the UMC to engage with her over the next year about her public declaration of being a life-long lesbian.1 LOCAL TOURS: Members of Twin Cities RCs provide gracious hospitality.2 I cried, feeling sad and replenished. I laughed more than I have in months. I felt at home more fully than perhaps ever before. Here were people who honored all of me—gay and Christian. —David Shallenberger, Euclid Avenue UMC, Oak Park, Illinois ...it’s not what I take home, but what I leave here—fear and a bit of ignorance and a bunch of broken stereotypes... — Tiffany Taylor, Wesley Club, Seattle, Washington I came here thinking I would gather some helpful information for my congregation, meet some interesting people, then go home. I did not expect such a profoundly moving experience...I knew the cause was great, but I did not realize how urgent it was... —Danielle Massey, Ballardvale United Church, Andover, Massachusetts 1Photos by Nancy Carter 2Photo by Howard Johnson A PARABLE OF GOD’S GRACE: HOME: A Parable of Beatrice and Neal, written and produced by Tim McGinley and James Giessler, was a Saturday night highlight!1 OPEN THE DOORS: RCP launches an enthusiastic witness to the 1996 General Conference.1 FAVORITE T-SHIRT: Self-avowed practicing United Methodist1 BOUND for the PROMISED LAND 32 Open Hands Send to: RCP, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 1@ 2 or More @ # Ordered Total Open Hands Gift Subscription (Reg. $20) $18 $15 ea. ________ $ ________ HOME CDs (Reg. $15) $12 $10 ea. ________ $ ________ HOME audiocassettes (Reg. $10) $9 $7.50 ea. ________ $ ________ Shipping charge for HOME CDs and/or cassettes $3 total $ ________ Total $ ________ Discount Prices for Christmas! Discount offer expires December 31, 1995 Can this be home— for everyone who needs a place? Home—a place where all can share in grace? —from finale A stirring musical drama which offers the church as “home” for gays and lesbians An Inspirational—and funny— portrayal of struggle and faith HOME: A Parable of Beatrice and Neal My Name _________________________________________________ Address ___________________________________________________ City/State/Zip _____________________________________________ Daytime Phone (_____) ________________ Enclosed is my payment of $________ OR Charge $ _________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (circle one) # ___________________________________ Expiration ___/___ Signature _________________________________________________ A gift card in your name will be sent to these persons unless you check here ❑ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Send gift subscriptions to: Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Name ___________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip ____________________________________________________ Open Hands Get all of your friends and church colleagues to read this unique ecumenical magazine! Explores lesbian and gay concerns in the church Offers substantive and practical helps for churches’ welcoming, affirming, and reconciling ministries Give special gifts this Christmas! Put HOME and Open Hands under the tree! Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No. 2 - Valuing Difference, Part 1: Untangling Prejudice & Privilege https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8dce664413bfe13f32040a848c7eae9c.pdf b9ef4171d679434ddc18d059f1226fef Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1996 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document Vol. 11 No. 4 Spring 1996 2 Open Hands Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (American) the More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), the Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These five programs— along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1996 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 w Printed on recycled paper. Vol. 11 No. 4 Spring 1996 Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity of Human Sexuality NAMING THE CONFLICT Caught In Between! 5 ALLEN V. HARRIS Do you feel caught on orientation issues? A Letter from Corinth—and a Response 6 JOHN ALDRIDGE AND ELDERS, CORINTH Homosexual behavior named rebellion against God. JOHN A. EKMAN, SARATOGA SPRINGS A pastor of ONA/ML church invites further dialogue. At Issue for Us 8 GEORGE WILLIAMSON, JR. Pastor of disfellowshipped Baptist church speaks out. Shall Unmarried Couples Be Introduced Together? 9 TIM EUDY Church adopts compromise solution. LIVING WITH CONFLICT Living with our Dif ferences 10 BRENDA J. MOULTON AND HOWARD MILLER Lesbian pastor and deacon live with unresolved issues. Faithful to our Past and Future 12 J. BENNETT GUESS Kentucky church stays rooted, looks ahead. Conflicts of Conscience 14 MARTHA JUILLERAT Former pastor reflects on Presbyterian conflicts. Modeling Skills for Living with Conflict 15 IGNACIO CASTUERA Gutierrez, 23rd Psalm, and a hymn provide clues. We Need Each Other (poem) ALICE G. KNOTTS 15 Living with Institutional Conflicts 16 ROBERT W. MATTHEIS AND SIERRA PACIFIC SYNOD COUNCIL Bishop tries creative solutions; council takes actions. CHURCH CONFLICT: Living with It! Learning from It! Spring 1996 3 Publisher Mark Bowman Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout / Graphics / Typesetting In Print – Jan Graves Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (UMC) 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program (UCC) P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Bob Gibeling Reconciled in Christ Program (ELCA) 2466 Sharondale Drive Atlanta, GA 30305 404/266-2730 Dick Lundy More Light Churches Network (PCUSA) 5525 Timber Lane Excelsior, MN 55331 612/470-0093 Brenda J. Moulton Welcoming & Affirming Baptists (ABC/USA)) P.O. Box 2596 Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 508/226-1945 Editorial Advisory Committee Howard Bess, W&A Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Tammy Lindahl, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Tim Phillips, W&A Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillán, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Joanne Sizoo, MLCN Stuart Wright, RIC Next issue: Airing Out Closets ONE MORE SELECTED MOVEMENT WELCOMING WORD RESOURCES NEWS CHURCHES LIST 24 28 29 29 Conflicts of Autonomy 18 BRENDA J. MOULTON Two Baptist groups disfellowship W&A churches. Saving Face/Saving Relationship 19 VIRSTAN B.Y. CHOY Asian conflict management style offers model for us. LEARNING FROM CONFLICT Living Relationships: Living in Christ 20 JOHN LINSCHEID “What would Jesus do?”— the right question? Engaging in Civil Discourse 22 DONALD E. BOSSART Denver experiment provides a model. Three Keys to Solving Conflict 24 HERBERT W. CHILSTROM Retired bishop identifies keys and miracles. Sowing Trust at the Borders: A Response to Subversion 26 ALICE G. KNOTTS Practice caution before embracing ethic of subversion. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT Prayers Slow us down, Sacred Spirit GEORGEANNE WILCOXSON 4 Holy Word ROB CUMMINGS 4 Creative Conversationalist LAURENE LAFONTAINE 7 Passionate God SCOTT ANDERSON 9 Sacred Potter LAURIE KRAUS 13 God of all time and space ROBERT W. MATTHEIS 17 Eternal God JOHN TROMPEN 19 Holy Word RICHARD KOTERAS 25 Liturgy Living in the Tensions DAVID D. OTTO 27 Prayers from More Light Prayers are used with grateful appreciation to the writers, Chris Glaser (editor), and More Light Update newsletter, PLGC, P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. 4 Open Hands Spring 1996 5 Caught between a rock and a hard place. Is that how it feels to you? That’s how it feels for many congregations. On one side is the “rock” of the church with its hardened positions on human sexuality and intolerance toward lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. On the other is the “hard place” of extra- church organizations demanding immediate transformation of church polity and ingrained beliefs about human sexuality. When there seems simply to be no way to please either camp, some churches ignore the situation entirely. Several forces at work within a congregation encourage this disregard. Daunting Forces for Inaction Exterior forces confronting local congregations who might advocate on behalf of lesbians and gay men are daunting. The debate, for many reasons, advances extremely explicit and antithetical choices. Congregations surmise that either they must be completely inclusive, not only of lesbians and gay men, but also of the entire variety of human sexual identity, as well as affirming each of their concerns—or they must be totally silent on the topic. Rather than seeking to understand the human dimensions embraced by such labels or the possibilities for renewal offered by such challenges, church leaders shut down. Interior pressures also exert their force. Often a local church includes a breadth of persons, with different levels of understanding and urgency toward the topic of gay and lesbian rights. Some are clearly on one side of the issue or the other. Others may be parents of lesbians and gay men who, on the one hand passionately love their children, but on the other hand know that the church has been their social circle as well as their place of inspiration. How can they stand up for their children and risk losing an important group of peers? Still others may be persons devoted to causes of peace and justice. These folks have pressed their congregation on every issue from resistance to the Vietnam war to recycling soda bottles after church dinners. They too might fear addressing the question. If they risk pushing this volatile topic too far, they might lose all hope of making headway on other progressive issues. Ultimately, some lesbians and gay men themselves are ambiguous about what stands their congregations should take. Some fear that if the congregation takes a “welcoming” position, they will be forced to come out before they are ready. Others worry that if the church becomes known as a “gay church,” many lesbians and gay men will flock to it, causing the congregation’s membership to become resentful of all the gay/lesbian folk, themselves included. Still, they retain a nagging feeling that as long as the congregation doesn’t make a statement of acceptance and advocacy, they will never really be accepted. With such a diverse gathering of tensions within and beyond church walls, it is no wonder that some local congregations are flustered. The confusion can be nothing less than overwhelming. Steps toward Action Our challenge is to not resign ourselves to the debate as it has been framed, but to allow ourselves to seek a new way—one that is crafted with guidance from the Holy Spirit. We must chart paths which do justice to the unique makeup of our individual congregations. We must examine our own unique dynamics as we seek to respond to the divine call for justice. Those with parents of lesbians and gays in the congregation might begin by affirming their avenues of support, assuring them that no matter what happens, they are a cherished part of the community. Those with social activists might insure that no single issue gets pitted against another and that the community as a whole takes seriously all the concerns raised. Those who know lesbians and gay men in their church might promise them that each step the congregation takes will be intentional and measured, but that the congregation is committed to the equality of all its members. Those congregations caught in the crossfire of society’s debate might develop avenues for measured discernment so that vitriolic either/ or positioning is discouraged. The great wisdom of the biblical faith is that ours is a journey toward the holy; the final destination is not ours to design. Yes, we must always be straining for the marks of justice, compassion, kindness, and humility; but such a journey involves many steps along the way. Every step will be as important as the previous one and as critical as the next. No Need to be Caught Ultimately, we cannot avoid being caught “in between.” The prophet Isaiah reminds us that God bids us to “maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come and my deliverance will be revealed” (Isa 56:1). Neither can we tarry long. The Good News of the gospel demands proclamation and all people (including persons who are transgendered, bisexual, gay, lesbian, as well as all those who are committed to our place in the church) need to hear it. Nor do we need to be “caught in between.” When a rock and a hard place come together, the resulting spark might create fire. The resulting warmth could be the salvation of the church.▼ Allen V. Harris, pastor of Park Avenue Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in New York City, also serves as developer for the Open & Affirming Ministries Program of the GLAD Alliance. By Allen V. Harris 6 Open Hands ous diseases, alcoholism, violence, and perhaps even homosexuality. Christians believe that, by his death and resurrection, Jesus Christ brought about a healing of our break with God, paving the way also for a healing of the brokenness of the individual. Healing in this life results in the transformation of a person’s character and, sometimes, even physical restoration. At the very least, God provides new strength to live according to his will. The key to be experiencing this healing is repentance: a recognition of one’s brokenness and a turning from one’s former lifestyle and dependence on one’s self; a turning to the forgiveness, grace and full life offered by Jesus Christ. By endorsing the homosexual lifestyle without repentance, the Saratoga church is actually undercutting the power of Christ to restore and heal. Far from leading people closer to God and to true wholeness, they are choosing to accept a broken condition as normal, thus leading their people away from God and into further bondage. Homosexual persons are definitely welcome to worship in our church, and, most probably, in any Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). However, like all the rest of us broken persons, they are called to repent and receive the gospel and allow Christ to lead them in a new way. Ordination of someone who refuses to repent of any broken behavior and refuses to seek to cease such behavior is impossible. We call on our sister church to turn back from this divisive and destructive new policy and to continue its long history of being a loving and reconciling body. —Rev. John Aldridge and Elders, First Presbyterian Church, Corinth, New York.▼ Source This letter was published in The Saratogian on Sunday 9 July 1995 and reprinted in More Light Update, December 1995. Used with permission of pastor. JULY 3—We were dismayed to learn of our sister Saratoga Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church’s decision to ordain active homosexual persons to ministry as elders and deacons. It is a clear violation of our denomination’s position against gay ordination; it is a grave disservice to homosexuals; and it is a basic betrayal of the gospel. Far from being God’s intention for creation, homosexuality is rather just one more example of the general brokenness of humanity stemming from human rebellion against God from the very beginning. This brokenness or sin is the root of our self-centeredness, pride, greed and resultant loneliness, pain and suffering. The breaking of humanity seems even to have affected our genetic makeup, as evidenced by genetic aberrations that may lead to vari- 4 August 1995 Dear Pastor, Elders, and Members of the First Presbyterian Church, Corinth: I am in receipt of your July 1995 letter and I read it in the Sunday Saratogian... I realize that our actions to become a More Light family go against the official stand of our denomination, but it seems to me that in a world rife with prejudice and barriers, the new community of God ought to be able to do better re: the ordination of homosexuals than our military’s policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” I have known too many excellent and creative homosexual pastors and laity to be able to dismiss so easily their contribution to the faith journeys of those within the family of the church. It is my belief that our church authority is wrong on this issue and that, in a hundred or so years, the national church will treat gay and lesbian ordination in the same way we now treat the ordination and leadership of women and African Americans. As you know, even these latter groups have been, and sometimes still are, the subject of debate and biblical controversy, but much of the earlier passion and prejudice has quelled with time, understanding, and appreciation for the contributions women and African Americans have made. Before that kind of change and openness comes to the gay and lesbian community, an up-to-date conscience, informed by scripture, is ultimately the authority to which I as a Christian yield... Your letter declares that our stand is “...against the gospel...” You’re free to say that, but making such an unequivocal judgment from your faith perspective does not necessarily make the statement any more correct than folks before Columbus declaring “The world is flat.” Your missive also makes it quite clear that you know with certainty the mindset of the Almighty at the time of creation. I do not accept that the two (different) Genesis creation stories where people were created male and female and where we are also directed to be vegetarians and be fruitful and multiply, are the last word for human understanding of God’s creative intentions. As a “child of the fall” I like red meat, and, of all the commandments, “be fruitful A church identifies homosexual behavior as rebellion against God. Spring 1996 7 and multiply” is one the world’s people have kept with dangerous abandon! I also do not hold that it was the Genesis writers’ intentions to set all the parameters of all created life. For me Genesis 1 and 2 sets the stage of salvation history: God’s good creation being challenged by our free will to create greedy relationships, unloving barriers, and less than well thought-out prejudices. It is my belief that God made the world good and that healthy community where each individual can develop and share their gifts is a goal of the divine plan. I can not say with a clear conscience that God intended from the very beginning to exclude a group of loving and decent people whose only deviation (which hurts no one) is their sexual orientation. Note: I know that anal sex and the spread of AIDS hurts many—my own nephew died of AIDS prior to the time when “safe sex” was being urged upon the gay community. While I take a very dim view of gays having unprotected sex, I am not willing to allow “the AIDS problem” to taint my general attitude toward homosexuals or their ordination... ...I appreciate your awareness that research into the gene and bio-chemical complexity of our human nature is applicable and should be factored into our understanding of God’s truths as contained in scripture. From my vantage point we have to be very careful in...equating behavioral disease with states of being. Your letter seems to lump violence, alcoholism, and homosexuality into one gene genre. You are correct that research is beginning to show that (1) negative social activity like violence and a predisposition to alcoholism might be related to gene defects or biochemical imbalances. We also know that (2) certain diseases are related to our biological make-up: Alzheimer’s, cystic fibrosis, sickle-cell anemia, etc. And we know that (3) natural hair color, eye color, and male or femaleness are biologically determined. You and I would apparently disagree as to whether homosexuality should fall into category (1) or (3). While we both believe the healing power of faith can cure some behaviors, it does not correct the underlying genetic [disposition]. Unlike violence and alcoholism, which we agree are destructive to self and society, I do not believe that homosexuals are destructive when acting responsibly according to their heredity. Since the majority of homosexuals I know, like my heterosexual friends, are decent, creative, caring people who have served the church well, I am prone to put their gayness or lesbianism in the last category (3). This obviously affects my attitude toward their ordination and their “need” to be made whole... When I moderated your session many years ago, I had the pleasure of working with Chris Von Seggern. I know that she, along with other women, makes a wonderful and much needed contribution to your church family. Chris also signed your letter as Clerk of Session. While I believe it can be shown that there are different interpretations and translations [for biblical references on same-sex conduct], it appears to my best reading that there is absolutely no conflict of interpretations in 1 Timothy 2:9-15 regarding women as teachers and leaders or in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 regarding elders being male only, not divorced... ...I would be interested in knowing how you can use a few debatable scriptures to inform your rather unyielding stand on homosexuals while (apparently) totally ignoring a very clear and unequivocal scriptural directive as to the place of women in church leadership and education? You might agree with me and take the position that portions of 1 Timothy are out of date and inappropriate... If we adapt 1 Timothy to fit our positive experience of women in the church, why not factor in the wonderful contributions and decency of gays and lesbians we know and then do the same with New Testament scriptures that could narrowly be interpreted as anti-homosexual? Well—sorry to take up so much space and time, but I thought your concerns worthy of as thoughtful a response as I could muster at the moment. I would be happy at any time to come personally and share with you folks if you thought that helpful to build bridges of honest Christian understanding... Warm regards, John (Jay) A. Ekman, pastor Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church (More Light and ONA) Saratoga Springs, New York ▼ Source This letter is excerpted from a longer one originally sent to the church in Corinth and later published in More Light Update, December 1995. Used with permission of pastor. 8 Open Hands There is a tide in human affairs (to borrow Tennyson’s meaning) which should be taken at the flood. Now is such a time. It is the best and worst of times. It is the fullness of time (Dickens’ characterization of social revolution). It is kairos, that biblical moment when something good, with God at the bottom of it, breaks through history’s logjam. For millennia sexual minorities have been despised, harassed, oppressed, and scattered. Yet in the quirkiness of the human spirit, against all odds, their time has come. As often has been the case, religion is the last to recognize the breakthrough of God. Religion is the last and most passionate to defend the old order. Again, it is the story of our times. Much good has come from the Gaylesbian Uprising.1 Forcibly closeted people have come out. Committed relationships have been blessed and nourished. Yet another injustice has been publicly exposed. Community has been formed, complete with public institutions. From the stuff of silence, shame, and loneliness has come an occasion to find new wineskins for ever-new wine in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Members of First Baptist, Granville, Ohio, for overlapping, prosaic reasons, came to see the Gaylesbian Uprising as a good thing. A year ago, this old church resolved to stand openly with the Uprising. Our doing so has brought the Baptist branch of the body of Christ to crisis. Crisis (the intersection of judgment and promise) only comes when there is power to take up the promise. Our witness, along with that of a small number of other churches, is to the advent of that power. According to our great chorus of critics, however, we have been disloyal, have caused division, and worst, have violated scripture. Here is our response. Disloyalty Jesus, in loyalty to God, said, “I come not to bring peace, but division.” Amos, loyal to Hebrew religion, cried, “I hate, I despise your feasts.” Luther, lieved pattern of social injustice. This, on biblical grounds, is a bad way to interpret scripture. Second, at issue for us is the reality of the Gaylesbian Uprising. Despite its overpublicized excesses, the stigmatized sick are cared for, the closeted are being released, and the humiliated and alienated are healed. In the gaylesbian community, homes are formed, public injustices are exposed, and a sexual minority is getting in touch with the full range of its powers.2 Against such there is no prohibition. Indeed, the “shameless,” “unnatural,” “unlawful” sex referred to in the above passages does not describe committed relationships or contemporary gaylesbian life. Finally, at issue for us is the urgent call to Christian evangelism. The gospel has been snatched from the gaylesbian community. God has been presented to gay and lesbian people as a vengeful Being who is revolted by who they are. Humane straight people have watched churches being mean and cruel for love of such a God. But Jesus gave his life precisely to correct this image of God and this sort of religion. It is our chief calling to mediate God’s healing love where it is most wanting. Today this place is the gaylesbian community.▼ Notes 1Editor’s note: “Gaylesbian Uprising” is not a universally used term; others refer to “gay/ lesbian movement” or “les/bi/gay movement.” 2This is a paraphrase of Jesus’ evaluation of his own controversial movement (Matt 11:3- 6). George Williamson, Jr., Ph.D., is pastor of First Baptist, Granville, Ohio (see p. 30), the first church in the history of the American Baptist Churches, USA to be disfellowshipped for standing with the gay and lesbian community. He is writing a book, Religion of the Wrong Side: Gaylesbian Uprising and the Breakthrough of God. still loyal to his church, stood on its scripture against his church. Martin Luther King, Jr., in fierce loyalty to America, violated America’s laws. Loyalty without integrity is supreme disloyalty. Division Our denomination, like most others, passed anti-gaylesbian legislation stating that “Homosexual practice is incompatible with Christian teaching.” According to the pain of les/bi/gay sisters and brothers—pain inflicted by that judgment and the overlapping waves of social oppression thundering from it—division is already caused. We have simply crossed the dividing line. We have simply joined those who are divided off. We have caused no division. Rather, we hope that our predominantly straight church in a straight, heartland, small town can be a bridge of reconciliation across this gaping wound in the body of Christ. Violation At issue for our critics are four obscure passages in Leviticus 18-20, Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, and 1 Timothy 1. Also at issue for them is a heterosexist interpretation of the creation story and a homophobic interpretation of the Sodom story. To these they add everything negative the Bible says about sex. At issue for us, first of all, is a history of biblical interpretation which has led to a succession of monstrous social evils: the Crusades, witch trials, inquisitions, murders of church dissenters, suppressions of modern scientists and early democrats, anti-Semitic pogroms, legitimation of slavery, massive opposition to abolition, violence toward the civil rights movement and countless social revolutions, and the ongoing oppression of women. The bottom line of biblical law, said Jesus, is selfless love of God and neighbor, “by [which] fruits shall you know them.” Traditional interpretation of the above mentioned passages has led to the closet, gay bashing, and an unre- By George Williamson, Jr. Spring 1996 9 In October 1994 a gay couple joined our church. Brent and Jerry’s sponsor, Pam, introduced them to the congregation using the word “companion” to connect them. Pam felt comfortable enough to use this word to acknowledge their relationship to the congregation. I wasn’t ready for the next three months of response. Two members from our congregation expressed concern to our pastor about the introduction and questioned what it meant. One member’s husband came to the church council shortly after the introduction and asked the council to consider a policy in which only married couples would be introduced together. Anyone who was not married would be introduced individually. Well, I just about hit the roof. I’m sure some people felt I had. I will not go into all the discussions that preceded the January 1995 council meeting, but it was quite interesting and yet painful. It was one of the largest ever attended. The man who had come to the council meeting proposing his own policy of introduction was back again. Dan and I (along with Brent and Jerry) were there. I had asked some heterosexual married couples in our church to come and speak on our behalf. Others came on KNOWN COMPANIONS: Tim Eudy (left) and his companion Dan Hill have been members of Advent Lutheran Church in Charlotte, North Carolina for eleven years. their own. I was so grateful. It’s so hard to put on paper what we went through before, during, and after the meeting. I really felt a lot of anger about the meeting because I thought our church was so far beyond this type of petty stuff. I think we really were, but it is often possible for a few people to set policies by just being loud and vocal. After a lengthy discussion, we came up with a compromise that seemed to work for everyone: It is recommended that the introduction of members be made in a way that is comfortable and acceptable for the new members under the guidance of the pastor. It is recognized that the use of terms such as companions, friends, partners, etc. is not an affirmation of a relationship, but the recognition that a relationship exists; and we recognize that all people are welcome to the family of God and the family of Advent Lutheran Church. I felt a lot of anger when I was accused of blowing this incident out of proportion. It was a very serious issue for me. I hope it is for you too. I hope none of you ever have to go through some of the things that happened to us. May God bless each and every one of you.▼ By Tim Eudy 10 Open Hands Two years ago a closeted lesbian pastor of a small, rural American Baptist congregation in Rhode Island was challenged by one of the deacons to disclose her sexual orientation. After a series of meetings, in which the pastor came out, the church turned down a recommendation by the Board of Deacons to ask for her resignation. On the second anniversary of this decision, the pastor and deacon reflect. Why Howie Took Action Brenda: It all started on Martin Luther King Sunday... I used a prepared litany on the oppression of the black community and how oppression still exists in the world today...and there was this “list”... Howie: Yeah... (joint laughter) Brenda ...and in the list, it said “gay and lesbian people.” I struggled about whether to take that phrase out. Howie: ...and I picked up on it. I had suspected for a while that you were gay. I thought I should call a few key people in the church and let them know my feelings. Everything went from there. Brenda: That was two years ago. And we’re still here! Howie: Right! ( joint laughter) Brenda: So, what was it that concerned you? Howie: I want be able to go to my pastor with moral issues and have them respond in a biblical sense. But if they’re not following what I consider to be a biblical principle, then how can I rely on them for anything else? And I certainly didn’t know much about you at the time...so... Brenda: According to your interpretation of scripture, homosexuality is wrong, and here I was as pastor saying “I’m gay and homosexuality is OK.” That went against everything you believe, so therefore, how could I be your pastor and proclaim the gospel? Howie: Exactly. That was the major conflict for me. Brenda: Another concern in the congregation was “What about the kids?” Not in the sense of what I would DO to the kids...but rather “You’re the pastor, the kids like you, you’re a role model. This ‘life-style’ isn’t something we want our children to follow. If you stay, how are we going to reconcile that?” So, in addition to your concern about my being the pastor and leading the congregation, others had this question of my mentoring the children. Howie: Exactly. Unresolved Issues Brenda: So, although the church didn’t call for my resignation, we still haven’t resolved these two issues. Howie: I guess not, not for everybody. I think it’s up to the parents to teach the children. I don’t necessarily think that you being there is going to sway them one way or another. As for being a pastor, well I certainly feel you are called by God. That one issue of your sexuality, that’s between you and God. It’s out of my hands...that’s how I’ve resolved it. Brenda: So we agree that we disagree, but the difference is still there? Howie: It’s always going to be there. The only way it can be resolved is either you have to see my point and change, or I have to see your point and change. I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. Brenda: Maybe that’s the point. So many people use so much energy trying to convince the other person that “I’m right, you’re wrong, and in order for us to live together, you’ve got to agree with me.” Howie: That’s not happening here. Why People Didn’t Leave Brenda: What keeps us in ministry together in the midst of our differences? Howie: For me, I’ve got to trust God. He’s either going to have to point out to one or the other of us that we’re wrong, or work around it, or work with it; but, bottom line, it’s God’s job. Brenda: So the resolution for you is in letting it go and letting God be in control. You did what you felt you needed to do. I did what I felt I needed to do. Then we just say “OK, God, the rest is up to you?” Howie: That’s right...and it’s no longer an issue. Brenda: And not one person has left the church, as far as we know, over the issue of my sexuality. Howie: That’s right. Brenda: What is it about our church that kept people there? Howie: Well, the way I feel about the church is, if I leave for everything I disagree with, I could change churches for the rest of my life and never be happy. I’m happy with everything and everyone here. There’s just too strong a nucleus to let anything break it up. Brenda: But that’s not typical. What holds us together? Howie: God...the Holy Spirit. I have no other explanation. Brenda: It does seem so simple. When I tell my story to people, they always ask, “How many people left?” When I say By Brenda J. Moulton and Howard Miller Spring 1996 11 “Nobody,” they ask “Well, what about the guy who made the phone calls?” When I respond, “Oh, he’s still there. I baptized his son last summer,” they can’t believe it. (joint laugher) When I’m asked why people haven’t left, I explain that people are committed to their ministry, to the church, to Christ, to living out what they feel called to do, and so they’re still there doing it. Howie: Yeah. Brenda: Yet so many other people would say “My commitment to God says I have to leave. I can’t stay in this place where there’s this sin.” People use the same argument, their commitment to Christ, to leave. Howie: That reminds me of the scripture where Jesus said “I come to heal the sick.” I don’t need to go to a church where everybody’s all set. Brenda: The scripture I thought of was “Christ is our peace and has broken down the walls of hostility between us.” Howie: It may seem that it was a drastic issue for me at the time, but it’s no worse than someone who smokes, or someone who gets pregnant out of marriage, or someone who cheats on his wife. There are no scales of points on sin—sin is sin. Brenda: The difference here is that I don’t say that homosexuality is sinful, whereas most people would agree that cheating on your wife is a sin. Still, I agree, if my relationship with Pat were a sinful relationship, it wouldn’t be any worse than any of those other sins. Howie: A lot of pastors smoke, and drink, and everything else, and it’s worse to hide it than it is to say, hey, I do it, that’s the way it is. Brenda: So does the fact that I’m open about my sexuality make it easier for you to tolerate the difference? Howie: Sure. If you really think something’s wrong, you’re going to hide it. How God Is Working in Us Brenda: How do you feel God working in our church or with you or me in this issue? Howie: He’s keeping us all together. Obviously he’s there. So many faithful people are congregating nearly every Sunday—and even more people showing up now. Brenda: Do you think there’s any connection between what we’ve been through and the growth we’re experiencing now? Howie: Yes. There’s tolerance for accepting other people for who they are. Brenda: I agree. Because we grappled with the issue of sexuality, we became more sensitive and willing to struggle with each other on tough issues. We are getting new people from many different theological points of view and church backgrounds. They feel that who they are and what they believe is welcomed in our church. Howie: Right! We don’t challenge each other with different doctrine and scripture. There’s no need to talk about it because it’s not that big a deal any more. Brenda: In a way, though, we are continuing to deal with it. I used to use sexual orientation as an example when I named how people are discriminated against. I’ve dropped that because I don’t want to be “in your face.” Yet, every time I stand up in that pulpit I’m saying something about my beliefs about sexuality. How has that affected how you see me as your pastor? Howie: Well it’s changed because you haven’t done anything. Everything else seems to be in line with what I believe and what I think the scriptures say. You’re the first person I call when I have something I need to talk about and when I need Christian advice. Brenda: The fact that we disagree over the interpretation of parts of scripture doesn’t negate what I say about everything else? Howie: Not at all. This seems to be the only issue. Advice for Other Churches Brenda: What advice would you have for other churches in a conflict like we went through, whether it was about sexuality or some other issue? Howie: Take a look at yourself first. The scripture says “Remove the plank from your own eye.” And trust God and the Holy Spirit. Brenda: We maintained respect for one another and for our opinions—even when those opinions differed. We saw the Christ in the other and valued God’s creation in that other person. Howie: Yes, and if you have compassion for people, you’ll get through whatever you have to get through. A lot of things boil down to compassion for people. You either have it or you don’t. If you don’t, you’ll be very narrow because your way is the only way. If you have it, sometimes you have to see the other side even if you never agree with it.▼ DEEP IN CONVERSATION: Brenda J. Moulton, pastor, and Howard Miller, deacon, of Chestnut Hill Baptist Church, Exeter, Rhode Island, continue their dialogue. Brenda is also coordinator of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. Howie teaches the Jr. High Sunday School class. 12 Open Hands Zion United Church of Christ in Henderson, Kentucky knows the tension between honoring a congregation’s rich history and hearing a call toward progressive ministries. Organized in 1871, this little downtown German Evangelical congregation still worships in its original historic sanctuary built in 1873. This year, we are celebrating 125 years of ministry and service. In 1992, however, a remnant of only twelve faithful elderly members remained. The church was forced to make some hard decisions. With all the makings of a made-for-TV movie, these courageous members—ranging in age from 76 to 92—committed all church savings to one intensive year of radical renewal. They knew that Zion was not dead, but would be, unless drastic measures were taken. Desiring to return to my hometown to start an intentional, inclusive Christian community, I knew Zion UCC and its urban-related neighborhood would be a great place for this type of covenantbased community. I was hired by Zion Church to implement a progressive vision of congregational renewal. Since that time, the new has remarkably blended with the old. Zion remains a distinctively historic, but diverse, place of worship and service. We have 150 members and a worshipping community of about 220. This year, fifty-eight people wrote covenants to live and work as an intentional community. The original elderly members—now ages 80 to 96—are confirmed supporters of the church’s transformation. Believing that Zion has the potential to double its membership in the next three years, the Indiana-Kentucky UCC Conference and the United Church Board for Homeland Ministries are now offering assistance. How well we understand the tensions between historic loyalties and the spirit’s leading to new avenues of opportunity! The increase in membership has caused some internal growing pains. Also the church’s decisions to hire an openly gay pastor, to become an open and affirming congregation, and most recently, to volunteer to house the city’s first Planned Parenthood Health Clinic, have created external dissension by a few fundamentalist pastors and congregations. Some right-wing folks have been most upset about our inclusive language commitments. God is definitely not feminine, they insist. While the external tension can be frustrating, the internal atmosphere must not get mired in the same kind of discord and disrespect. The storm without cannot become the storm within. Six suggestions we here at Zion have to offer to other churches who are living in the midst of conflict include: Remember the covenant. Remind people of the covenant. Find opportunities to discuss— again and again—what it means to be a covenant people. Set up structures which make people accountable to a covenant relationship. For Zion, this has meant an annual process of covenant-making and plenty of opportunities to check up on how we are doing with these promises to one another. Potential members spend a period of time in covenant groups discussing the meaning of living in covenant—a novitiate of sorts. Change your method of conducting business. Instead of using a democratic form of government (most votes wins), implement a consensus model of decision- making. Remember, the process is just as important as the outcome. Consensus is much more than “unanimous vote.” Instead, it requires possible dissenters and nay-sayers to voice concerns up front. In the end, consensus means all parties can live with a decision and support it for the good of the whole congregation. Do not assume that older members will automatically take the conservative position. Experience teaches me that middle aged parishioners are sometimes the most reluctant to welcome change—they’re just getting settled into current traditions. By J. Bennett Guess Spring 1996 13 Encourage ways to enhance creativity, imagination, and celebration. Many churches have forgotten the value of programs and activities which stimulate joy and creativity in people of all ages. Thus, we have inhibited the freeflow of ideas and weakened our abilities to visualize something different from present reality. Sponsor creativity classes. Create an art gallery. Invite people to draw with their non-dominant hand. Pass out crayons and play dough at potlucks. Write and read poetry. Vary the musical offerings of the church. Congregations that better utilize the performing and visual arts in worship and education are more likely to invite the imagination into times of decision- making. And the church will be a lot more fun! In the midst of change, rely on historical methods of spiritual growth and support. Read more scripture. Offer more opportunities for prayer and communion. Hold more hands. Give more hugs. Talk it through. Spend time with any dissenters. Utilize house worship. Hold fast to the covenant. Remember to be a church— not a political party, not a business, not a club—but a church. It’s what the church should do best. Remind one another of kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. And over all of these, put on love which binds the rest together and makes them perfect.▼ J. Bennett Guess is pastor of Zion United Church of Christ, an intentional, inclusive Christian community in Henderson, Kentucky. Be a congregation or a pastor that is guided by principle and character, not church growth. “Numbers” is not the name of the game. Reality is that some people may leave. However, remember that courageous churches will attract new people. And understand that new ideas are often at odds with the past. Recognize this as a pastoral care priority, but not as an impossible task. Know your congregation’s history and relate current struggles to past events. During both world wars, anti-German prejudice was so strong that Zion Church felt the sting. Hateful rumors were circulated that one German-American church member, a baker, was grinding up glass and putting it into pastries. The prejudice nearly destroyed his business. In the 1950s, Zion Church and its pastor, the Rev. Theodore Braun, led the way against the racist White Citizens Council and their planned boycott of public schools during racial integration. Also, for many years, the congregation sponsored a boy scout troop which equally included Zion’s children and Jewish children from the neighborhood. Through close personal friendships, the church came to recognize the pain of anti- Semitism. Remember, liberation is not a new idea; it is deeply rooted in our church histories and the stories of scripture. Go down, Moses, way down in Egypt’s land... 14 Open Hands This great principle, drafted in 1788, gave rise to the Reformation when Martin Luther, John Calvin, and others declared that no one individual or church hierarchy could dictate the judgment of a private individual. Today, the Historic Principles of Church Order of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) begin with this statement.1 The Reformed faith places great importance on the freedom of conscience. We are guided by a number of confessions of faith, rather than bound by a prescribed doctrine. We trust the Spirit to inform and lead us. This principle also calls us to a high level of individual and corporate responsibility. All church members are compelled by our Reformed tradition to read and study the scripture and confessions in search of new truths for a new world. Karl Barth, one of the greatest Reformed theologians of this century, said that we should always have a Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. This combination of freedom and responsibility has led the Presbyterian church into numerous conflicts of conscience. When abolitionists found their voices in the mid-19th century, conflict led to a split in the denomination. In the 1920s and 1930s, heated debates over creation and evolution almost split the church again. During the civil rights movement, hundreds of Presbyterians marched for freedom while countless congregations fled to the suburbs. For decades, women cried out for recognition of their gifts. As their voices were finally heard, dozens of congregations, which could not “in good conscience” ordain women, left to join more conservative branches of the Presbyterian church. It seems a tension has always existed between our responsibility to maintain the “peace, unity, and purity of the church” and our call to heed the words of the prophets in our midst.2 The “More Light” churches movement arose within this very tension. In 1978, when the General Assembly issued a statement essentially banning ordination of gays and lesbians, the lone voices of David Sindt, Bill Silver, and a few others began crying out in the wilderness, declaring this action to be little more than Bible-based bigotry. Over time, a few congregations declared they could not “in good conscience” be guided by this action. In the spirit of “the church reformed, always reforming,” these congregations took the Bible in one hand and the works of history, culture, science, and medicine in the other. With their collective declaration that there was “yet more light” to be shed and thus the church’s ban could not stand as the final word, the More Light movement was born.3 More Light congregations live within a tension that is peculiarly Reformed. A More Light congregation is nothing more than one which has made a public statement welcoming gay, lesbian, and bisexual people into full membership and participation within the life of the church, including ordained office. Individual Presbyterian churches are free to make such statements of conscience. However, all churches are bound to uphold the actions of the General Assembly, which disallows ordination of lesbigay folk. So conflict occurs when a church acts on its beliefs and actually calls a gay person to be ordained as a deacon, elder, or minister. Dozens of church judicial cases have come and gone, but little has been resolved. Feeling the tensions of its Reformed roots and its long history of theological diversity, the denomination itself has been loathe to take decisive action. As a result, several More Light churches have been threatened with action, dragged into judicial cases, or forced to back off ordaining elders. However, no More Light church has been forced against its will to rescind a statement. No More Light church has actually been “taken over” or closed. The conscience of the church remains free, even while it is not free to act on it. The conscience of the church remains free, even while it is not free to act on it As long as this tension exists, there is hope for change. As long as prophets are free to speak, as long as More Light churches continue to declare their own conscience, as long as we remain faithful to what we believe is just and true, hearts will be moved. Our faith, along with that of all Presbyterians, is that Jesus Christ alone is the church’s hope. As long as this is true, we have faith that the Spirit will lead us through this conflict to a new place of reconciliation.▼ Notes 1Book of Order, G-1.0300. 2Book of Order, G-14.0405 and Book of Confessions, 5.144,147. 3“More Light” is from John Robinson: “We limit not the truth of God to our poor reach of mind...by notions of our day and sect...crude, partial and confined. No, let a new and better hope with our hearts be stirred, for God hath yet more light and truth to break forth from the Word through the Spirit.” (1620). AWARD WINNER: Martha Juillerat (right) poses with her partner Tammy (center) and Carol Seaton, who had just presented Martha with the Inclusive Church Award at Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns during General Assembly in 1995. Martha set aside her ordination in September 1995 in protest of her denomination’s treatment of gay, lesbian, and bisexual folk. She currently owns a painting and wallpapering business in Kansas City, Missouri. By Martha Juillerat Spring 1996 15 Gustavo Gutierrez once remarked that the commandment to love our enemies presupposes an earlier commandment: make enemies. Christians who engage in the ministry of reconciliation must not forget that reconciliation presupposes a situation of conflict. The most important skill to demonstrate in such a case is to accept the reality of conflict. Church people do not live well with conflict; most simply assume that the church should be a place of peace and comfort. Pastors and laity who understand and accept their prophetic role need to educate other parishioners to the reality, and even desirability, of conflict. M. Scott Peck reminds us that the church pretends to be the body of Christ, but then forgets that the body was lacerated, wounded, stretched to the maximum, and finally killed. Having said that, one must go on to the commandment to love one’s enemies. Those who disagree with us need to be loved by us, prayed over by us, invited to the communion table by us. The Twenty-third Psalm provides us with an older image of dealing with the enemies: Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. The preposition before is extremely important. It is not for me that the table is set. It is before me but my opponent is not excluded from it. My opponent might not want to participate, but it is my obligation to remind the opponent that the God who knows and loves us both is the one who has set the table. Our hymnody also picks up this theme in “Help Us Accept Each Other.” Let your acceptance change us so that we may be moved in living situations to do the truth in love; to practice your acceptance, until we know by heart the table of forgiveness and laughter’s healing art.1 Finally, as the hymn also suggests, a dose of humor is an important skill to practice in conflictive situations. The words humor, humble, and human are all connected by the root word humus— dirt, ground, earth. When we remember we all come from the same dirt, earth, we will find common ground.▼ Note 1Fred Kaan, 1974, verse 3. Ignacio Castuera is pastor of Hollywood United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in Hollywood, California. By Ignacio Castuera 16 Open Hands January 1995— Bishop Writes to Synod On several occasions during the past months I have been asked about how I intend to respond to several issues which I inherited when I was elected to this office. Each time I indicated that I did not intend to act in haste, but would take time for consultation and reflection. I believe the time has come for me to indicate how I will respond... 1 St. Paul says to the Colossians (8:12): “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” These words give clear direction as to how we might live together with the differences that emerge from our varied experiences of life... As you know, the San Francisco and the East Bay Conferences have each elected deans who are not rostered clergy of the ELCA. In reviewing this situation, both conferences have indicated that they wish to continue with their present leadership. In addition, St. Paul Lutheran Church in Oakland continues to be served by Pastor Ross Merkel, who was its pastor for eleven years prior to his removal from the clergy roster in March of 1994. ...Let me speak first of all about St. Paul Lutheran Church in Oakland. This congregation continues to provide strong support to the ELCA and to the Sierra Pacific Synod. A member of the congregation serves on the Synod Executive Committee and as synod treasurer. The congregation continues to support and serve its community through various ministries to the sick and homeless, in addition to providing strong Word and Sacrament ministry. It is my intention to declare that this parish is vacant. No pastor will be listed for St. Paul in the ELCA yearbook or in synod statistics. Representation at synod assemblies will be limited to lay delegates. It is my intention to act within the spirit of Paul’s letter to the Colossians as we deal with sisters and brothers in Christ who are honestly and sincerely seeking to be obedient to the gospel in the situation in which they find themselves. It is my purpose to be as supportive as I can within the boundaries of faithfulness to the constitution. The two non-rostered conference deans present a different situation. There are no structures in place to discipline a conference even if one should desire to do that. It is, however, my belief that the actions of the conferences are in implicit, if not in explicit, conflict with the constitution... I shall take direct responsibility for the San Francisco and East Bay Conferences... From the point of view of the synod, these offices will be seen as vacant. At the conference level, the elected deans may function to gather clergy and congregations and preside over conference assemblies, as long as that is the wish of the conference. However, my office will assume responsibility in matters relating to pastoral vacancies and installation of pastors and AIMs.2 I...will also assume responsibility for clergy, AIMs, and congregations who would not be receptive to the pastoral care of the dean in these conferences... [T]his relationship can be cumbersome, even difficult. However, I believe that it is the best resolution of this matter at present. The above actions will allow us to “bear with one another, ...to forgive one another...”, and it will give time to continue “to clothe ourselves with love” as we walk together and seek to find that path which most clearly expresses the heart and mind of our Lord, Jesus Christ. There are those on both sides of the issue who would urge me to take swift and decisive action. On one side, they would urge me to act within a strict interpretation of the constitution... On the other, they would urge me to embrace the actions of the conferences and to authorize Pastor Merkel to serve as the pastor of St. Paul’s. My action in choosing neither of those options recognizes that truth is not captive to any ideological position, but is discovered as people of faith come together in prayer and mutual affirmation to seek the path of faithfulness. ...Please do not misread my actions... In those instances where it is clear to me that there is direct and malicious disregard for the constitution, I will not hesitate to act with all the authority of this office. We have made covenants together and it is important that we be able to count on one another to be faithful to those agreements. As my schedule allows, I will be available...for discussion of these actions... I do not expect that we will all agree; I do expect that we will engage in serious and respectful dialogue with one another as together we search for what it means to be faithful to God in this time and place. Let me now return to Paul’s letter to the Colossians: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.” Let us be about that purpose! While we may be concerned about the issues discussed above, they ought not divert us from this baptismal commission to make Christ known... I pray that it is around this purpose that we can find our unity and the courage to move into the year ahead with boldness. In God’s love and care.▼ By Robert W. Mattheis and the Sierra Pacific Synod Council Robert W. Mattheis, Bishop of Sierra Pacific Synod, ELCA, in California, seeks to maintain connections while upholding church law. Spring 1996 17 1990-1995— Another Conflict/ Another Solution In another Lutheran conflict two San Francisco churches six years ago challenged an ELCA ordination policy that requires a vow of celibacy from gay and lesbian candidates. St. Francis and First United Lutheran Churches ordained three pastors in January 1990 who would not agree to the celibacy requirement. St. Francis, with almost half of its membership gay or lesbian, called Ruth Frost and Phyllis Zillhart, a lesbian couple. First United, a church with a liberal tradition, but few gay members, called Jeff Johnson, a gay man.3 Jim Lokken, of St. Francis, summarizes what happened next: “In a highly publicized hearing before the ELCA discipline committee, the two congregations asked the discipline committee to review the justice of the ELCA’s policy... The ELCA argued that the issue was simply one of violation of the constitution and that the two congregations should be expelled. By a vote of 6 to 5, the committee sided with the ELCA. It provided, however, that the congregations would be ‘suspended’ for five years, during which time it hoped that the issue could be studied and the disagreement between the congregations and the parent church resolved. By the end of 1995, nothing had changed and the congregations were [to be] expelled.” 4 Before the disfellowshipping took place, the following motion was passed by Sierra Pacific Synod Council, representing more attempts to maintain connections: The Council reaffirms the Synod’s intent, expressed in the Synod Assembly Resolution 95-5, that we “explore creative ways to maintain a strong bond of fellowship” with these congregations. To that end, the Council intends to begin this process in the following ways: (1) By asking the Bishop to write a prayer petition for the two congregations which might be commended to all congregations of the Synod for use on 31 December 1995, the Sunday prior to their expulsion (6) By encouraging members of the ELCA to make their concern for these congregations concrete by joining them in worship as they may have opportunity. (7) By asking the Bishop to offer to continue to provide pastoral care to the clergy and members of these congregations as needed and desired. The Council intends to review these points and the status of our “bond of fellowship” with these congregations in September 1996. Motion carried.5▼ Notes 1Article is excerpted from letter to Sierra Pacific Synod. 2AIM means Associate in Ministry. 3Data was provided by Jim Lokken, “Background” paper, 10 February 1996. 4Lokken, ibid. 5Minutes from Sierra Pacific Synod Council, 15-16 September 1995, p. 5. under the terms of the disciplinary decision. (See above.) (2) By urging the San Francisco Conference to continue to include the congregations in Conference activities insofar as possible. (3) By directing the Synod office to keep the congregations on the Synod’s mailing list, and by requesting the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America to do the same. (4) By expressing our hope to the congregations that they might be available as resources for others in areas in ministry where they have expertise. (5) By asking the Bishop to invite clergy and members of the congregations to attend the Synod Assembly as visitors and observers as they are interested and able. 18 Open Hands In January 1996, four Baptist churches in California were recommended for exclusion from their regional body, the American Baptist Churches of the West (ABCW). Following this recommendation, the 68-member ABCW voted on 9 March to exclude Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church, Oakland; San Leandro Community Church; First Baptist Church, Berkeley; and New Community of Faith, San Jose. Earlier, in June 1995, the Columbus Association in Ohio dismissed First Baptist Church in Granville, Ohio, (see pp. 8, 30) for “accepting gays and lesbians without trying to change them...” Their dismissal was acknowledged by the American Baptist Churches of Ohio. Both actions appear to challenge historical American Baptist principles of allowing a local church autonomy in defining its own ministry, interpreting scripture, and governing itself. Speaking to New York Times writer Gustav Niebuhr, Robert Rasmussen, the executive minister of the ABCW who called the special California meeting, noted “There come times in life when you have to say no.” He added that the vote to exclude was a vote to defend heterosexual marriage as the only biblically sanctioned expression of human sexuality.1 “We decline to be excluded, thank you very much,” said Martha L. Olney, treasurer at First Baptist. “First Baptist Church of Berkeley is an American Baptist church, has been an American Baptist church, and will remain an American Baptist church. We will continue to witness to the redemptive power of God’s inclusive love in our world…to support American Baptist missions at home and throughout the world…to work toward restoration of Baptist principles…” 2 While many Ohio area churches spoke against First Baptist of Granville, Jack H. Warwick, a deacon at American Baptist in Westerville supported it, saying the pastor George Williamson and his church “are leading us. I think what they are doing is great.”3 Normally, Baptist churches are dismissed from fellowship with the American Baptist body because they do not meet the “common criteria” for ABC churches. This is the first time churches have been disfellowshipped against their will—and on theological grounds rather than covenant criteria. Other American Baptist churches and leaders are alarmed. The Baptist controversy over autonomy emerges from the fact that the five churches joined the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists (a national group which advocates accepting gay and lesbian persons into full participation of church life). Their joining was a public statement of how they define at least part of their ministries. Since Baptists emphasize local church autonomy, the five churches continue to be American Baptist churches unless and until the national denominational body decides otherwise. In a related action, Dolores Street Baptist Church in San Francisco (another Welcoming & Affirming Baptist church) applied to become associated with the American Baptist denomination. Their application was never acted on. Dolores Street Baptist has now withdrawn its local application and has appealed directly to the national denomination.▼ Notes 1Gustav Niebuhr, “Baptists, Lutherans Expel California Congregations that Embrace Homosexuals,” The New York Times, 8 February 1996. 2Martha L. Olney, “Reflections on getting ‘dissed’,” Second Stone, January/February 1996. 3Kevin Mayhood, “Baptist church disenfranchised over gay issue,” Columbus Dispatch, 7 June 1995. Brenda J. Moulton is coordinator of the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists. By Brenda J. Moulton Offer Prayers and Support St. Francis Lutheran Church 152 Church Street San Francisco, CA 94114 415/621-2635 Pastor James DeLange First United Lutheran Church 6555 Geary Boulevard San Francisco, CA 94121 415/751-8108 Pastor Jeff Johnson Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church 3534 Lakeshore Avenue Oakland, CA 94610 510/893-2484 Rev. James H. Hopkins First Baptist Church 2345 Channing Way Berkeley, CA 94704 510/848-5838 Rev. Esther Hargis San Leandro Community Church 1395 Bancroft Avenue San Leandro, CA 95477 510/483-1811 Rev. Kay Wellington New Community of Faith 6350 Rainbow Drive San Jose, CA 95129 408/253-1408 Rev. Richard E. Taylor Rev. Vikki Yechoyan, Associate First Baptist Church 115 W. Broadway Granville, OH 43023-1179 614/587-0336 Rev. George Williamson, Jr. Dolores Street Baptist Church 938 Valencia San Francisco, CA 94110 415/826-2641 Rev. Doug Donley Spring 1996 19 Most current approaches to church conflict management are based on conceptions of congregations as organizations and congregational leadership as organizational leadership. These conceptions have been primarily shaped by human relations theory. Such approaches are influenced by a psychological understanding of relationships within congregations, which encourages confrontation of disagreements, engages persons involved in a conflict in direct interaction, and emphasizes communication skills (self-disclosure, assertiveness in expressing demands, negotiation, compromise, and collaboration). The use of such approaches in Asian American congregations has not been effective. For Asians, society is not individualbased, but relationship-based. This focus is rooted in Confucianism, in which human beings are expected to develop and conduct themselves as “relation-oriented” individuals. Accordingly, attitudes that enable and sustain this relational orientation are cultivated in the Asian family and Asian community. Three such attitudes or relational postures are: • continuous awareness of one’s networks of relationships • recognition of the importance of “face” (public self-image) for those with whom one is in relationship • fulfillment of obligations to maintain one’s relationships. These attitudes and postures continue to shape behavior, not just for the immigrant Asian generation as it arrives in this country, but for the American-born generations as well— even to the third and fourth generations. They are predispositional in nature—so influential that they are perceived by some Asian Americans as a sort of “cultural DNA”—not always consciously present, but functionally operative in predisposing Asian Americans to a distinctive pos- The predisposition toward preserving relationships leads to the preference for nonconfrontational interaction, e.g., subtle or indirect engagement, through trusted third party “go-betweens” rather than through professional mediators who engage disputants in direct communication. The predisposition toward preserving relationships also enables the toleration of ambiguity in times of disagreement. Some Asian American congregations have remained together in the midst of their differences, deferring debate or other direct, face-to-face efforts designed to resolve the dispute. Some Asian Americans have characterized such congregational cohesion in the face of conflict as “solidarity in conflict” in contrast to the “unity in diversity” emphasized in some mainline denominations. This difference has theological implications: how might a theology of solidarity be different from a theology of unity or a theology of reconciliation in shaping our conflict ministry?1▼ Source This material is excerpted from “From Surgery to Acupuncture: An Alternative Approach to Managing Church Conflict from an Asian American Perspective.” Reprinted by permission of Congregations, published by The Alban Institute, Inc. Suite 433 North, 4550 Montgomery Ave., Bethesda MD 20814. Copyright 1996. All rights reserved. Note 1The solidarity paradigm vs. unity paradigm discussion originated with Dr. Kim Yong Bock, president, Hanil Seminary in Korea. Virstan B.Y. Choy, D.Min., is director of field education and integrative studies and assistant professor of ministry at San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo, California. ture for engaging in interpersonal interaction in the family, in the community, and in the congregation. A cultural collision occurs when persons acting out of this posture are placed in conflict management situations emphasizing attention to one’s own feelings and calling for expression and negotiation of one’s own needs and interests. In situations of conflict, the relational orientation leads to a predisposition toward preserving relationship with those with whom one is involved in a disagreement. Consequently, differences and even disagreements may be allowed to remain unresolved over a long period of time in order to preserve the face of others (“save face”) and therefore maintain some form of relationship (“save relationship”). In such situations, what non-Asian American conflict managers may perceive as passivity or inability to make decisions may actually be an intentional culturally shaped decision not to engage in interactions that threaten face or jeopardize relationships. By Virstan B.Y. Choy 20 Open Hands Finally, all we have is relationships. We stew about what to do with institutions, particularly what to do about “the church.” Shall we challenge it? Shall we nurture it? What really matters are the relationships that build institutions, are shaped by them, or exist in spite of them. Are those relationships mutually just and mutually loving? Do they energize us in the Spirit and nurture growth? Recently, a fairy godbrother of mine became a candidate for assistant pastor at a suburban congregation in another state. After the first interviews, he rocketed to the top of the congregation’s prospect list. Phone calls, letters, conversations— all conveyed one message: “You are the perfect candidate; the one we want.” Then he came out to the senior pastor. The senior pastor professed his support—and proceeded to sink my friend’s candidacy. The search committee cut off communication, refused my friend a hearing, and denied they ever wanted him. I was ready to pack my bags: sensibly low heels, modest pearls. I wanted to travel to that suburb, find that church, march in on a Sunday morning in my most middle-America-go-to-meetin’ dress. But to what purpose? Should I go—or not? What Would Jesus Do? Which brings me to the question, “What would Jesus do?” Would he hike up his skirt, tear down the aisle shrieking “my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples,” and overturn the In-Remembrance-of-Me furniture? Or would he don a man’s three-piece pin-stripe, lace on the oxfords, and throw his fedora in the ring for denominational moderator? ings. But he interpreted them in ways that made the establishment nervous. Jesus lived in a society dominated both by the Jerusalem Temple establishment and by Roman territorial occupation. Economic life was difficult. Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbaugh note that between 35 and 40 percent of a peasant family’s production may have gone to religious and political taxes.1 Class, gender, and ethnic identities dictated very limited options for individuals. The social group one belonged to defined the individual, not vice versa. Men and women did not regularly mix or socialize (thus the male disciple’s astonishment when Jesus talked with a woman—Jn 4:27). Patriarchal extended families were the norm, reinforced by economic necessity. Physical life was difficult for both women and men. Most people worked hard. Disease and accidents limited life expectancy, if one survived childhood, to about forty. Jesus was past “middle age” when he began his teaching. Medicine was largely what we would call “folk medicine” or spiritual healing. Jesus’ acquaintances were well-acquainted with death and conditions that we consider handicaps. Thus, Jesus lived and spoke with a spontaneous immediacy that I find disconcerting. My generation had an extended adolescence and years of college to ponder the “meaning of life.” But Jesus was an itinerant preacher, teaching wisdom on the fly. My predominantly European-American- male-defined world puts great stock in the theoretical underpinnings of social structures. We rest our civic relationships on constitutions and written covenants. In church, we study “issues” I was raised in the 1950s and 1960s and I came of age in the 1970s. I grew up hearing comparisons of Jeremiah’s sermons with Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speeches. Ezekiel’s “sit-ins” didn’t sound all that different from student protests (Ezek 4:1-8). And I quoted Jesus—“love your enemies”—when I staffed the statefair booth of Kansans Concerned About Vietnam (Matt 5:43-44). So an anti-establishment Jesus in drag suits my biases. Unfortunately, Jesus is hardly that simple. Jesus confuses me. He declares peacemakers blessed (Matt 5:9). He also suggests that his disciples carry weapons (Lk 22:36). He longs for his people to “know what makes for peace” (Lk 19:42). But he characterizes himself as bringing “not peace but a sword” and setting members against one another (Matt 10:34-36). Does he undermine the religious institutions? Does he support them? Predominant Western thinking demands consistent thought and purpose. Jesus seems to relish inconsistency. One day he pays the temple tax without objection (Matt 17:24-27). Another day finds him turning the temple upside down (Matt 21:12-13). Biblical pictures of Jesus resist systematic ethical, political, or theological organization. That may be due, in part, to the world in which he lived. Jesus was Jewish by ethnic heritage and religion. But cosmopolitan Galilean Judaism may not have been fully respectable to some groups which organized Jewish identity according to ritual purity. He appears to have been a peasant. But his family identity included royal descent from David. His teaching appealed to sacred tradition and writ- By John Linscheid Spring 1996 21 and formulate “position papers.” We focus on passing resolutions, changing books of order, or revising manuals of discipline. To change institutions, we seek to change people’s minds. Jesus seems unconcerned with changing people’s minds. He doesn’t argue issues. He addresses people and responds to concrete events. His words and actions modulate from situation to situation—and sometimes even moment to moment. Such is the case in his encounter with the Canaanite woman (Matt 15:21-28). Her initial pleas for mercy for her sick daughter fall on unresponsive ears. Jesus appears to accept ethnic segregation, declaring that his mercy belongs only “to the house of Israel.” The woman persists, and Jesus compounds the offense with an ethnic insult: it would be unfair to throw the “children’s bread” to “dogs.” But she seizes the insult and turns it back at him. Dogs, she reminds Jesus, can expect more than he is willing to give. In her single-minded devotion to her daughter’s good, she forces Jesus to perceive that ethnicity is no boundary to faith. Jesus repents, and her daughter is healed. Jesus doesn’t retreat into defensive posturing when the Canaanite woman challenges his ethnocentrism. Instead, he listens to her. He opens himself to be transformed by her. What prompts him to listen—and elsewhere to expect others to listen to his challenges? Why does he expect transformation (of himself or others) where tradition and society say none is possible? The New Testament depicts Jesus as extraordinarily in tune with the spiritual possibilities in all things. In him, no boundary exists between the holy and the mundane. He trusts the Spirit/ God utterly. He lives his daily relationships from the perspective of the Spirit/ the spiritual. The earliest writings we have about Jesus (the letters of Paul) present almost no biographical information. Paul seems relatively uninterested in stories about Jesus—or even in his teachings. Yes, he quotes “the Lord” occasionally. But what seizes Paul, in his relationship to Christ, is the quality of Spirit found there. The quality of Spirit seems to be an energy of relationship that binds people together and makes people whole. Paul doesn’t speculate on the metaphysical nature of Christ’s resurrected body. He simply describes his experience that the gathered community of Christ continues the reality of Christ’s earthly life. In 1 Corinthians 11:23-27, Paul uses “the body” as a double entendre to mean both the gathered community and Jesus’ body. He proceeds to explain how each movement and experience of any part of the body affects all the others (1 Cor 12:12-27). Christ is not only a person. Christ is also the relationship among Christ’s followers. To live in Christ, to follow Jesus, means living our relationships in constant spiritual communion. It means spontaneously being shaped by the everrenewing, ever-growing perspective of the Spirit. How Might Jesus Open Himself? So what does this have to do with whether Jesus would wear a man’s suit or a woman’s dress to the church that rejected my fairy godbrother? It suggests that I must not ask “What would Jesus do?” Rather I must ask, “How might Jesus open himself to relationships with others and God in this moment?” Will the dress and pearls help to inspire new perspectives? Will the business suit foster mutual growth? Sometimes one must shatter old relationship patterns to enable new growth. Sometimes one must rest in the familiar and retreat from upheaval. Anger and insult may move with the Spirit, as when Jesus pronounced woes upon stagnant, oppressive traditionalists (Matt 23:13). A softer answer may also teach, as when Jesus refused to take sides in a legal dispute (Lk 12:13-15). Should one abide with church tradition or challenge church structures? I attend a congregation that has never been able to make a gay/lesbian-affirming statement. We do not all agree on issues of sexuality. Our regional Mennonite conference now threatens to expel our congregation unless it excommunicates gay and lesbian members. Nevertheless, we continue to welcome gay and lesbian members. Why do members who cannot agree to affirm the goodness of gay and lesbian relationships embrace us and risk expulsion? Why do I, an openly gay man, remain where my sexuality is not always affirmed? Although we do not fully agree, we sense in each other a movement of the Spirit that we trust. We perceive, imperfect though it may be, the energy of Christ’s body in our relationship. In this mystery of Christ, I can say of certain people—whether we fundamentally disagree or agree about sexuality—that I would trust my life to them. If I were to wear the dress in this my home congregation, it would be for fun and joy and laughter and learning. But, in some other congregations, I’d wear the dress to be “in their face.” More likely, I would shake the dust from the soles of my pumps and leave before my pearls were cast before swine. Just as we must not divorce what God has joined, sometimes we should not keep bound what God long put asunder. Sometimes mutual good comes in parting. Right relationships—Spirit-ual relationships— seek the good in one another. They promote growth in each other. They foster mutuality and justice between us. They tune our interactions to the energies of God. We can stew about institutions. Shall we leave the church? Shall we support it? Shall we prophesy against it or work to change it from within? Some must leave. Others must stay. The sacred mystery of living in Christ is this: to discover and move toward the Spirit’s potential, whatever the pattern of relationship.▼ Note 1Bruce Malina and Richard Rohrbaugh, Social- Science Commentary on the Synoptic Gospels (Minneapolis: Fortress, 1992), p. 134. John Linscheid and his lover, Ken White, live in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They will lead a retreat on creating and using ritual to face and move through the unique challenges of gay-male identity development (16-18 August 1996). For more information, contact Kirkridge (see ad on p. 31). 22 Open Hands GUIDELINES FOR GROUP FORMATION 1. Communicate to approximately six persons each who are pro and con on the issue of homosexuality in the church; invite them to pursue the topic in civil discourse together. 2. Choose a competent conflict manager to facilitate the group. 3. Affirm basic ground rules, ideals, or guidelines to govern the actions of the group toward civil discourse. 4. Spend the necessary time to allow all persons to share their life journeys relative to the formation of their position on the topic. 5. Seek to find whatever common ground is evident out of the personal sharing. 6. Continue educational efforts individually and as a group on the subject of sexual orientation. 7. Work toward a consensus decision on some common action to take, such as the formation of new groups led or supported by original group members. —Donald E. Bossart Two of the most emotionally charged issues in the church and society today are the issues of abortion and homosexuality. Many articles have been written and debates have been argued in an attempt to convince one another of the rightness of one side or the other. Biblical and theological interpretations have been expounded from church pulpits, public debates, and print or TV media to justify particular positions. The focus of this article is on a way of living in the tension of the conflict and engaging in civil discourse on the subject of sexual orientation. How can we choose to live within the heat and seek the light? What Does Civil Discourse Mean? Acknowledging that we are in a social tension is easy to do. The hard part comes when we decide that we must engage in civil discourse. First of all, what does that mean? Many have experienced discourse on these topics but little has been civil. Labeling, vehement protest, and confrontation have characterized much of the debate. Digression into ugliness, personal attacks, and property damage are sad components to uncivil discourse. Civil can mean two things. First, it can mean that the debate is public among those who live together in community. Second, it can mean that the debate gives respect to all parties. This article is written to encourage both community discourse and respect due to the various parties. We who live within the church community should have understanding of the need for respect and honor to be given to another of God’s children, whom Jesus came to liberate by his death and resurrection. But somehow the church has great difficulty with this theological tenet in the name of “right doctrine” and belief. Civil conversation breaks down when rightness of position is paramount and any position varying from that “rightness” is not only wrong but heresy. What occurs is church conflict with only win/lose outcomes. Discourse has within its meaning a dimension of dialogue between parties which includes logic and reason. If logic and reason are to occur, listening to all positions is required so that understanding might be achieved without agreement being necessary. A Typical Approach to the Conflict Sexuality has always been a matter of serious concern charged with emotion in the church. Lately, the church has been embroiled in the topic of sexual orientation, mostly concentrating on whether homosexuality is a biblical abomination or innate to the person. Should one bearing the attribute of “abomination” be ordained as a clergyperson? As in most emotional debates, the parties tend to treat their opponents as enemies who, in their evil ways, are trying to eradicate morality in general and biblical Christianity in particular or, conversely, who are expressing unnecessary fear over a valid part of God’s creation. The debate is win/lose, with rightness as the only criterion. The Bible and doctrinal authority are the only arbiters for the debate within part of the church community. The approach is positional, with little regard to dialogue, the relationship, and shared interests with others. Common ground and resolution are most difficult to achieve in the midst of this kind of atmosphere and entrenchment. Civil Discourse: A New Approach An interest-based dialogue, rather than a positional debate, is called for. Civil discourse requires fair fighting ground rules that focus on a dialogue which is substantive and which addresses each party in a civil, respectful way. Understanding is a goal. Distortion in perception, miscommunication, and the drive for personal or group power over others may well require a third party facilitator to bring the “civil” and the “discourse” into the discussion. Such facilitators are trained to intervene with fair fighting rules and to move the debate from the ferocity of win/lose to the excitement of a win/win attempt toward understanding and possibly resolving the conflict. Even when complete resolution is not attainable, the facilitator can help prevent damaging exchanges that block future dealing amongst the parties. Latent conflict from previous win/lose interactions can easily be triggered into highly emotional escalation of conflict in future exchanges Third party facilitators engage in preventative roles as well as those that are mediative and negotiative. They assist By Donald E. Bossart Spring 1996 23 civil discourse by: 1) preventing damaging exchanges, 2) enabling the change of context of the conflict (reframing), and 3) coaching parties in the principles of fair fighting and ethical interchange. Such behavior is essential to dialogic discussion in order to reach a negotiable perception of the problem. Mediation by a third party can change a deadlocked positional argument into an open search for common ground around common interests.1 An Experiment in Civil Discourse A positive experience in attempting civil discourse by this method of third party facilitation is taking place in Denver, Colorado. The Colorado Coalition for Choice is a group of religious leaders in the community who are active in community debate on the abortion issue. Experiencing frustration at the way these interchanges were going and feeling more acrimony than any helpful light on the matter, they felt there must be another way. In the early months of 1993, I was approached as a conflict manager to see if I might facilitate a group of approximately equal numbers of pro-life and pro-choice persons from within the Christian-Jewish community. A number of months later such a group of clergy and lay leadership was gathered. Each person was asked to commit to a civil discourse on the abortion issue without having to convince others to change their position. The end goal of such initiative was to identify some common ground around which there might be some united action. My role as facilitator was to establish and insure ground rules which respected the worth and self-esteem of the persons involved and to guide the group toward the discovery of possible common ground. Christian-Jewish tradition and theology gave foundation for this style of dialogue. The persons in the group had been in the leadership of religious concern on both sides of the abortion issue to date. They had a genuine interest in why and how each had come to their position on abortion. They desired mutual understanding and to see if there was any ground in common! Since we met only once a month, it took some time to allow all individuals to share their journey. This process drew the group closer together as the life stories and resulting commitments were shared. At times many in the group would exclaim that, given the life experience they just heard, they too might be so convinced. Trust and friendly relationships were built before any attempt was made to discover common ground. Effort was extended to break positional images, loaded words, labels, and epitaphs. This development of community and trust was enhanced by a week-end retreat with leadership from the Common Ground Network for Life and Choice in Washington, D.C. After mutual appreciation was developed around life journeys and abortion positions, the focus was directed toward common concern. The problem of unwanted children became the center of dialogue. The experience of adoption agencies in working with the parents of unwanted babies and with unwed mothers was shared. Ways of working with pregnant women considering abortion were discussed toward mutually desirable ends. Any decision for action by the group was dependent upon consensus among all parties. The persons who experienced this progression from no trust and attack to compassion and understanding over about two years felt excitement about their achievements and wanted to share those insights with others. Since this experiment had been a private, not a public event, a news release was prepared which described what had taken place. An invitation was made for leadership to come from this initial group to help start new groups. About twelve persons formed a workable group, with balanced representation of the parties to the dialogue. Their goal was to spread this style of discourse across the Denver metro community. Using this Model The substantive issue for civil discourse in this article is sexual orientation, not abortion. The process is the point in the above description. How can this process help us in the church to live in the tension around sexual orientation? The following ideals would need to be affirmed by consensus by a new group who wanted to engage in civil discourse on sexual orientation: ∂ We agree that all human lives have value and inherent dignity. Σ We seek to be one in the spirit of caring and compassion. ΠWe will listen to each other with open hearts and minds. These then serve as guidelines for civil discourse. The mission statement of a group seeking to engage in civil discourse on sexual orientation would need to include: ∂ an affirmation of the right of persons to hold different convictions. Σ an agreement to seek not simply to be understood but also to understand. Πa commitment to attempt to look beyond differences to see each other as caring, compassionate people. π a commitment to strive together toward finding answers which uphold the dignity of all human life.2 The general steps followed by the group would be the same as our group in Denver. They are outlined in the box (left). The joint pursuit of truth may be long and difficult, but civil discourse in the midst of conflict within the Christian community could be a contribution to the search for peace that is so desired on the part of the larger community. The foundation for this discourse is within us. Let us learn to use it and pass it on.▼ Notes 1Hugh F. Halverstadt, Managing Church Conflict (Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991). 2These are the ideals and mission statement of the Pro-Life/Pro-Choice Community in Denver, December, 1994. Donald E. Bossart, Ph.D., is an associate professor of interpersonal ministries at Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado. He has been active in the Denver PFLAG and the Colorado AIDS Project. He and his wife, Gay, attend St. Andrews UMC in Littleton. 24 Open Hands When a colleague of my wife said this at the time I was to be ordained, I knew she had had little experience in the church! Now, nearly forty years later, I am even more certain that she sat on the margins of the church. Little did I realize at the beginning of my ministry that the church would call me to be a bishop for more than half of the coming years. Though I experienced division in my ministry in congregational and academic settings, it was in the office of bishop, both in a synodical and churchwide setting, that I witnessed the full fury of conflict among the people of God. Given this history of ministry, one would think that I would have grown jaundiced and negative about the church, depressed about the people of God, and relieved to be free from the office of bishop. That is emphatically not the case. While I surely am delighted to move into a new stage of life, I do so with gratitude for the opportunities I have had to serve in such interesting roles in the church. And—to the point of this article—I am thankful for the good things that have come from times of conflict and disagreement in the church. Recognition The first key to dealing with conflict is to recognize that it is inevitable in any human situation. More so, it is crucial to recognize that it takes on a peculiar shape in the church. Let me explain. First, we are “at the same time justified and sinner,” a notion that can be interpreted both narrowly and more broadly. In the narrow sense, we are made right with God through God’s work in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are “justified” by grace through faith. Yet, we remain engaged in the struggle with sin and evil as long as we live. In the broader sense, this struggle is played out in all of life. A constant threat hangs over even the finest, most ordered, most cooperative human setting that it will be torn apart by conflict and misunderstanding. That is simply “the nature of the beast.” It is a fact of human existence that will be with us as long as the world stands. When we move out of our naiveté and recognize evil—both personal and corporate— for what it is, we have taken the first important step in resolving conflict. Second, I suggest that conflict is more subtle in the church. Persons like my wife’s colleague think there should be no conflict among people who claim to be Christian. Those who plunge into the life of the church soon discover that sin and evil are not only prevalent, but that they take on disguises that often make them hard to detect. Christians can be “terribly nice.” We can say the right things, put on a kind and gentle face, while, at the same time, giving free reign to feelings of anger and hate. “I love everyone,” we are inclined to say. But our thoughts and actions often betray a heart that is full of evil intent. Dialogue How do we deal with this condition? The biblical way is open and honest conversation, repentance when we have done wrong, and a constant search for deeper understanding of others. The title of a very old book speaks of the Miracle of Dialogue.1 Dialogue is what I have seen work over and over again in my near-forty years of ministry. A member of my first parish took strong exception to my stance on an issue in the community. I could have attacked him, directly or subtly, from the pulpit. I could have talked behind his back. I could have complained to the church council. Instead, I went to his home. We had a good, constructive conversation. We acknowledged our differences. We distinguished those differences from more important elements of Christian faith where we were in agreement. Out of it has come respect for each other that endures to this day. I encountered the miracle of dialogue as a synodical bishop when the issue of civil rights for gay and lesbian persons first surfaced in the mid-1970s. I took a clear stance in favor of those rights and in support of the gay and lesbian community. The reaction was predictable. My mail was full of hate messages. Some pastors attacked me from their pulpits. I could have answered in kind, both to the letters and the sermons. Instead, I chose the way of dialogue. No, I did not win over those at either extreme edge of that conflict—those who resisted any change whatever and those who demanded complete and immediate change. But across the broad middle, change occurred. I engaged in dialogue with congregations where reaction was most extreme. In some instances, a few very courageous homosexual persons went with me to present their case, to tell their life stories, and to share in the conversation. No, I did not see mass “conversions.” But whenever a few minds were changed or a few seeds of new approach were planted, progress was celebrated. Dialogue happened again in the fall of 1994 when the first draft of a possible “statement on human sexuality” was released by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Because of the unfortunate and inexcusable way in which the document was first reported in the press, the storm of reaction was volcanic. My bishop’s desk was piled high with more than 1,000 letters in a matter of a few weeks—most of them in strong opposition to what the writer assumed was in the draft. That was only the tip of the iceberg. Many more thousands of letters came to the division responsible for the draft. To this day I get letters and comments suggesting how By Herbert W. Chilstrom 2 1 Spring 1996 25 the eruption should have been handled. Some gay and lesbian persons and their friends hoped for a strong word of condemnation against those who did not agree with the suggestions in the draft regarding how the church should look on them. At the other extreme were those who felt that a word of total condemnation of the entire draft should have come from my office. I chose the way of dialogue. Together, with key staff persons, I traveled to every corner of the ELCA to engage in conversation regarding this divisive issue. I prepared a video tape for use in small group settings. ELCA staff provided discussion materials for use in local congregations. Responses were encouraged and flowed in by the tens of thousands! Seldom has a church body been engaged in such broad and deep conversation about a single subject. Did good come of it? Emphatically yes! I cannot count the number of times a pastor has said to me in the past two years that, hard as it was at the time, the dialogue opened doors of understanding that surprised even the most skeptical. Did the ELCA lose some members over the issue? To be sure. But my mail assured me that the church also gained some members. Far more important, however, was the sense of courage that emerged in congregation after congregation. “We will need some time to assimilate this issue,” one pastor said to me. “It was frightening at first. I thought the congregation would be torn to shreds. We discovered that there are deep differences among us. But we survived. Some minds were changed. More than that, we learned that we can disagree and still live together in community.” Those comments would be echoed over and over across the ELCA. Patience Progress in understanding is never as swift as we might hope. But I have learned patience over the years. Furthermore, I must constantly remind myself that on complex and divisive issues change is always slow. It took twenty years for me to move across the spectrum of attitudes regarding homosexual persons, from an assumption that such persons are immoral by deliberate choice to the conviction that they are only different from the majority in regard to their sexual orientation and in no sense immoral because of something they have not chosen. Like the minority who are left-handed, they simply have a different sexual preference. The same is true for churches as corporate bodies. Change will be slow. It took the Quakers more than fifty years to come out with a strong statement against slavery! Further, we must come to terms with the fact that while social statements are desirable when the church needs to address a serious issue in society, they are not always possible. At its 1995 Church-wide Assembly, the ELCA delegates waffled between calling for more work on a statement on human sexuality and abandoning that process in favor of a less legislative approach. Discouraging as it is, the message from those confusing and contradictory actions was clear: the church will need time. Calls for patience are not appreciated, especially if you are the one discriminated against. You do not have two or three lifetimes to wait for change. You want it now. So do I. But, just as in the secular realm where “the art of the possible” is the way toward change, so is the case in the church. We do what is possible, never apologizing for our position, but always ready to engage in dialogue with those who differ with us. William Willimon relates the story of an encounter Martin Luther King, Jr. had with a young man whose father objected to his involvement in the civil rights movement. The young man wanted to know what King would suggest as a way to change the heart of his racist father. King replied, “Your father is doing the best he can. He has not had many of your educational opportunities, opportunities which he provided for you. As a Christian you must be patient with him and love him.”2 King did not suggest that he stop talking to his father, or abandon his support for the movement. In a sense, at the heart of his suggestion was the way of nonviolent resistance—and the way of dialogue. Persistent, informed, patient dialogue in a loving context remains the best way to resolve conflict and bring change.▼ Notes 1Reuel L. Howe, The Miracle of Dialogue (Greenwich, Conn.: Seabury, 1963). 2F. J. Schumacher, ed., For All the Saints. (Oneonta: American Lutheran Publicity Bureau, 1995), p. 54. Herbert W. Chilstrom, the first presiding bishop of the ELCA (1987-95), is now retired with his wife Corinne, a Lutheran pastor, in Pelican Rapids, Minnesota. 3 26 Open Hands Inviting Moral Responses We at Shalom Ministries understand the reasons why people in vulnerable positions feel they need to hide. We have often counseled those caught between the demands of integrity and call to be gentle with themselves. Nonetheless, we believe people should be cautious about embracing an ethic of subversion. Subversion destroys trust. It invites retaliation and retribution. Those who exercise power to maintain systems of injustice recognize resistance, name it, and attack not only those who use it but also all who are associated with the subversive ones. They have laws, media, and people at their command already crushing subversive activities. To get different results, a different approach is required. We need to prepare spiritually to act in ways that sow the trust that is essential to building up, rather than breaking down, community. The first step is to appreciate the divine spark in ourselves and in others, then to show respect for others. We cultivate an understanding that moral forces are of God and have power over injustice. We walk in the presence of God and ask God’s help to calm our fears. When we meet anger, we recognize that anger is often a cover for fear. We assure those who are angry that they need not fear surprise attacks. We focus on the specific injustice. We appeal to those who maintain systems of injustice to act in ways that are moral and just. The appeal to do justice invites people to reflect on their own values. It encourages use of reason as well as feeling. It raises issues about the impact of personal actions on others. It does not shame, but rather gives people time to do the inner work that changes minds, and celebrates those who do. Spaces for Movement It is difficult to be lesbian or gay and in a church or synagogue, but changing times have opened up surprising spaces for movement. The walls of resistance are not monolithic, but broken and shifting. The changing times challenge us all to use methods that build our own spiritual maturity and nurture trust in our communities. Hope grows when we recognize God’s presence with us. It increases when others stand with us. We add to hope when we join with people who are loving and justice-seeking. It is important to think carefully about the consequences of our ethical choices. There are many cracks in the walls of injustice. There are gaps and spaces where justice-seeking people may expand their reliance on God, let go of fear, and persuade people in places of power of the importance of doing what is just. One at a time, people make these decisions. Indeed, as the walls of injustices become arches of invitation, we may create a garden of peace by sowing trust along the way.▼ Source This article was originally published in Shalom To You, the newsletter of Shalom Ministries, in November 1995. Used with permission. To receive Shalom To You, write P.O. Box 66147, Portland, OR 97290. Alice G. Knotts, Ph.D., an ordained United Methodist pastor, is co-director with Jeanne Knepper of Shalom Ministries and the author of a new book, Fellowship of Love: Methodist Women Changing American Racial Attitudes, 1920-1968. Under Seige Lesbians and gay men today are under siege in churches and society. Silent complicity or lack of sustained opposition by many middle Americans creates a climate in which discrimination and violence are tolerated and perpetuated. In response to this situation, some lesbian or gay religious leaders counsel subversion. They compare the present day situation to that of Moses when the Hebrew people were enslaved in Egypt or of Dietrich Bonhoeffer when Hitler’s Nazi party ruled Germany. Claiming that extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, they argue that honesty and integrity, valued principles in ordinary times, may now be inappropriate. A sophisticated and reasoned use of scripture and Christian ethics, they claim, may lead people to be subversive, just as Moses’ mother defied Pharaoh by letting her son live and Bonhoeffer plotted to help assassinate Hitler. In a time when the forces of injustice are both powerful and treacherous, subversion may be a commendable moral option. The choice to use subversion in the church relies on a conclusion that injustice is so evenly and solidly distributed that it can’t be cracked by an appeal to higher principles. It assumes that forces of injustice are stronger than the powers of the ones who resist, that avenues for application of ordinary virtues and principles are closed, and that God calls for actions that will allow the persecuted ones to survive within the institution. People use subversion when they fear that the negative consequences of not using it are great, when they feel powerless, and when they hope to hold on until the climate is safer. They make a moral choice to apply the lesser of two evils. By Alice G. Knotts Spring 1996 27 Soloist: (Sing verse 1) “Help us Accept Each Other” Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Some see danger and ever-present destruction. Voice One: They killed the prophet and placed him in a tomb. Hope has died and I feel lost. All: I have spoken with this voice. Life can feel like an endless series of meaningless disasters and mindless tragedies. (At this point, group members are invited to shout aloud those recent events in their lives and communities that have felt like disasters or tragedies. After each event is shouted, the soloist will strike a drum or the bottom of a cooking pot once.) Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Some see opportunity and the hope for new beginnings. Voice Two: The prophet has risen from the dead! Glory to God, for my world shall never be the same. All: I have spoken with that voice as well. Life can be an endless spring of promising possibilities and provocative chances. (Group members are invited to shout aloud those recent events in their lives and communities that have felt like new opportunities, new beginnings, or the promise of hope. After each event is shouted, the soloist will ring a handbell or shake a tambourine for two seconds.) Leader: One story, many versions. One story, many voices. Can there be resurrection without death, new life without suffering, promise without frustration? Voice Three: God dwells with us in the midst of all pain and glory, all horror and joy. As members of the body of Christ, we are called to live in the tensions of God’s world, All: To sense God’s tears in the midst of our sufferings, and to hear God’s cheers in the midst of our victories. Leader: One story, many versions Voice One: One story, many voices Voice Two: There is pain and suffering Voice Three: There is hope and promise All: And there is the Spirit of Christ dwelling among us, holding us with the arms of Grace, kissing us with the lips of peace, and standing beside us until the dawn of eternity. Soloist (Sing verse 3) “Help Us Accept Each Other” Note “Help Us Accept Each Other,” The United Methodist Hymnal, #560, or obtain from Hope Publishing Company, 800-323-1049. David D. Otto is an associate professor of religion at Centenary College of Louisiana, where he lives in the tensions of life with friends, students, and his two dogs, Guenevere and Suzette. By David D. Otto 28 Open Hands Selected Resources interpretation, science, ordination, gay unions. With discussion questions for group use. Hahn, Cellia Allison. Sexual Paradox: Creative Tensions in our Lives and in our Congregations. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1991. Explores male-female differences and conflicts within churches related to “authority and power as they work in tension with each other.” (from book cover) Halverstadt, Hugh F. Managing Church Conflict. Louisville: Westminster/John Knox, 1991. Drawing on organizational group process and examining theological/ethical issues surrounding conflict, author advocates a Christian vision of shalom and an ethical process of respect, assertiveness, accountability, and focus on the common good. (from book cover) Carey, John J., ed. The Sexuality Debate in North American Churches, 1988-1995: Controversies, Unresolved Issues, Future Prospects. Lewiston, New York: Edwin Mellen, 1995. Not a “pro” and “con” book, but rather reflections of leaders involved in the sexuality debate who have been engaged in re-thinking assumptions about Christian life and ethics and the role of churches in society. Leas, Speed. Leadership & Conflict. Nashville: Abingdon, 1982. A standard in the field. McCollough, Charles R. Resolving Conflict with Justice and Peace. New York: Pilgrim, 1991. Uses actual cases of conflict to illustrate theoretical understandings of the nature of conflict and resolution. Rogers, Jack. Claiming the Center: Churches and Conflicting Worldviews. Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 1995. Combining strong historical analysis with contemporary relevance, Rogers challenges mainline Protestants to claim the eccelsiatical, intellectual, and moral center of American Protestant life. Deals directly with current conflicts on homosexuality. Seifert, Harvey and Lois. When Christians Disagree. Educational Ministries, 2861-C Saturn Street, Brea, CA 92621. An eight session adult study on conflicts and decision making related to world peace, economic justice, abortion, political freedom, homosexuality, and preserving the earth. Vayrynen, Raimo, ed. New Directions in Conflict Theory: Conflict Resolution & Conflict Transformation. London: Sage, 1991. Looks at world-wide political conflicts and proposes conflict transformation, rather than conflict resolution (since most conflicts are not resolvable). Welch, D. Don. Conflicting Agendas: Personal Morality in Institutional Settings. Cleveland: Pilgrim, 1994. When our personal agendas conflict with institutional ones, an appropriate response involves an ethic of “responsibility”—integrating our own personal integrity with concern for the larger group. Other Resources Conciliation Quarterly. A newsletter. Mennonite Central Committee. 717/859-3889. Conflict in the Church: Division or Diversity? 12 min. VHS. Focuses on different styles of handling congregtaional conflict. Includes study guide. $25 ppd. or free loan through Mennonite Central Committee libraries. Mennonite Central Committee. 717/859- 3889. Albrecht, Gloria. The Character of our Communities: Toward an Ethic of Liberation for the Church. Nashville: Abingdon, 1995. Rejects rugged American individualism, yet questions theological thinkers like Stanley Hauerwas who emphasize the community nature of Christian faith. Asks, how can communities envisioned by Hauerwas ever be liberative for those on the margins of society and church when the vision and story of the faith is still in danger of being shaped by a one predominant culture and worshipping community? Avery, Michel, et. al. Building United Judgment: A Handbook for Consensus Decision Making. Madison: Center for Conflict Resolution, 1981. Techniques and skills for effective consensus. Baird, Robert M. and M. Katherine, eds. Homosexuality: Debating the Issues. Amherst: Prometheus, 1995. A wide range of essays grouped into five areas: the philosophical debate, explanations and causes, criminal law, military, and religion. Writers address all sides of the controversy. Bossart, Donald E. Creative Conflict in Religious Education and Church Administration. Birmingham: Religious Education Press, 1980. Focuses on idea of creative possibilities inherent in conflicts and on processes to call forth the creative and productive potential in conflict. Brash, Alan A. Facing our Differences: The Churches and their Gay and Lesbian Members. Risk Book Series. Geneva, Switzerland: World Council of Churches Publications, 1995. A Presbyterian minister from New Zealand, who was deputy general secretary of the WCC from 1974-78, notes that the ecumenical community has been reluctant to address the debates over homosexuality. This book, which grew out of efforts of the WCC staff to gain a better understanding, seeks to encourage dialogue among the churches precisely at the point where “sharply contradictory convictions divide them.” Cosgrove, Charles H. and Dennis D. Hatfield. Church Conflict: The Hidden Systems Behind the Fights. Nashville: Abingdon, 1994. Uses an analogy of church as a family. Identifies through real stories and examples the hidden structural boundaries and “familylike” rules operating within churches. Friedmann, I.M. Helping Resolve Conflict: True Experiences of a Christian Anthropologist. Peace and Justice Series. Scottdale, PA: Herald, 1990. Through true stories of conflicts and mediation, this peacemaker shares his growth and insights on reconciliation processes. Questions with each chapter facilitate group discussion. Geis, Sally B. and Donald E. Messer, eds. Caught in the Crossfire: Helping Christians Debate Homosexuality. Nashville, Abingdon, 1994. Offers a range of views on “hot” issues such as biblical Spring 1996 29 More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance Brown Memorial Park Avenue Church Baltimore, Maryland Located in the central city of Baltimore since 1869, Brown Memorial’s 200-plus members are committed to ministry to the city through BUILD, an industrial development ministry. A sister parish in El Salvador has been visited by many of its members. Rev. Roger Gench reports that the decision to affiliate with the More Light movement was the last step in a six year process of active engagement with issues of sexuality and ordination. While deeply committed to an inclusive church, some within the congregation were reluctant to “join the movement.” Roger Gench says, “We came to see that this was an important next step.” First United Church of Oak Park Oak Park, Illinois In harmony with its long history of socially relevant ministry, First United Church of Oak Park voted to become a More Light Church and an Open and Affirming Congregation. The statements adopted by the congregation include an endorsement of holy unions. For many years the Mission Board of the 1180-member congregation has provided financial backing to a local AIDS ministry in Oak Park and to a number of national groups committed to an inclusive church. St. John the Evangelist United Methodist/ Presbyterian Church Columbia, Maryland Worshipping in an Inter-Faith Center, this congregation of approximately 450 members shares space with Lutherans, Roman Catholics, and Baptists. Calling itself “multicultural,” this suburban congregation attracts people searching for community. The unanimous vote of its council to become a More Light Church and a Reconciling Congregation was an outgrowth of the congregation’s long history of openness to diversity. Central Congregational Church Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts A city church with 45 members and a small Sunday School, Central Church wants to be a growing congregation that meets the needs of people in its neighborhood and beyond. Autumn brings much activity with the Fall Fair and a community concert, featuring a performance by (and group “Power Sing” with) folk singer, Nick Page. The staff of this ONA church includes a part-time associate pastor who is openly lesbian and a seminarian who is openly gay. First Congregational Church San Rafael, California Situated near the Golden Gate Bridge, this active 60-member congregation is committed to being broadly inclusive. It is undertaking a major building remodeling project to make its facility more accessible, attractive, and useful. The church hopes to raise $250,000 for needed changes in its building and an additional “tithe” of that amount ($25,000) for mission. Members of the church are involved in a variety of ministries, including delivering meals to persons with AIDS. Since becoming ONA, the congregation has welcomed several gay persons into membership. First Congregational Church Corvallis, Oregon The 300 members of this semi-rural, active community of faith had just completed its stewardship drive when an unexpected expense was generated by a roof fire! While responding to that situation, the congregation continues its many ministries, especially for youth and children. In March 1996 youth traveled to Oregon’s Warm Springs Reservation to work on tribal housing and church renovation. In two years they plan to go to British Columbia. The church provides space for 300 people to attend the community’s Harvey Milk Awards Dinner and continues to explore other ways to express its ONA commitment. Klamath Falls Congregational UCC Klamath Falls, Oregon The 40 members and friends of this church seek “to listen and share in an open exploration of faith both within and beyond our covenant community.” Their outreach includes hosting the town’s “Coalition for Human Dignity,” helping to develop the Klamath Interfaith Network, and sponsoring “Preach Outs” where area ministers preach about and discuss social issues. In response to the needs of some of its neighborhood’s Hispanic residents, the congregation is establishing a multicultural tutorial program for children and adults. MORE LIGHT OPEN AND AFFIRMING Movement News 30 Open Hands To help raise funds for its many ministries, the church will have a booth at the Business and Professional Women’s Bazaar where they will sell their famous aebleskiver—Danish spherical pancakes! Nazareth UCC Chicago, Illinois A friendly little church in a big city, this 130-member congregation is diverse, growing, and excited about its future! Centered in lively worship, the church’s life encourages indepth caring among its members and meaningful outreach into community. The congregation, listed as Open and Affirming in the spring of 1995, continues to explore ways to live out its commitment “to recognize every person’s unique God-given gifts and be open to and affirming of all...” including people of all sexual orientations. Members are active in the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns and the AIDS Pastoral Care Network. Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church Saratoga Springs, New York Situated in a very conservative section of the country, members of this church reflect a wide spectrum of political and theological thought. In addition to worship and Bible study, the congregation hosts a soup kitchen, makes bimonthly food deliveries to people in need in the county, and participates in disaster relief work camps, including one in Appalachia and one in Puerto Rico. Members’ travels have also taken them to East and West Germany to help tear down the Berlin Wall. Youth in the church enjoy wilderness canoe trips and rock climbing. As a joint ONA and More Light church, this faith community continues contact with other congregations exploring the “welcoming movement.” United Christian Church Levittown, Pennsylvania This 100-member congregation (UCC and Disciples of Christ) in the suburbs of Philadelphia is characterized by its strong history of peace and justice involvement and an open, celebrative style of worship. The congregation is providing leadership in the religious community for those mobilizing against recent federal government cutbacks and similar state policies. It is active in voter registration. After forty-two years of worshipping in a “multi-purpose room,” the congregation is considering a recommendation to build a sanctuary. Augustana Lutheran Church Phoenix, Arizona When Augustana passed the affirmation of welcome, it became a testimonial to the power of perseverance. This urban congregation in downtown Phoenix first considered the RIC process ten years ago and tabled the discussion because it was too controversial. A persistent member kept bringing the subject back up every few years. The vote was tabled several more times. Finally, Augustana agreed to have a vote ten years after the process began and the vote was positive. After a long wait, Augustana became the first Lutheran church in Arizona to publicly welcome gay and lesbian members. Trinity Lutheran Church Lansdale, Pennsylvania Trinity, an historic church of well over 5100 members in suburban Philadelphia, is perhaps the largest congregation of any denomination ever to adopt an affirmation of welcome to gay and lesbian Christians. This outreach-oriented church has established many specialized ministries to serve its diverse membership. Members of the congregation learned of the RIC program at a Lutherans Concerned meeting and brought the idea back to the church for consideration and eventual approval. First United Methodist Church Los Gatos, California First UMC of Los Gatos, with 700 members, became a Reconciling Congregation in April 1995. Opportunities for spiritual growth include adult education classes, small groups, and service in the community. The congregation’s growing music ministry includes four choirs and occasional concerts. Children are nurtured in an active Sunday School, children’s choir, and many special events. A health ministries program provides educational events, support groups, and visitation. Fellowship happens at ethnic dinners, summer barbecues and Sunday brunches, Gathering of Men, and other social groups. Foundry United Methodist Church Washington, D.C. Foundry, one of the oldest and most influential churches in the nation’s capitol, was organized in 1814 with seed money from Henry Foxhall who owned a foundry in Georgetown. He established the church as an expression of his gratitude that his foundry was spared when the British attacked Washington during the War of 1812. The church has been at its present location—a mile north of the White House for ninety years. Foundry’s 1400 members participate in a wide array of education programs and fourteen mission groups addressing needs of homeless persons, refugees, persons with HIV/AIDs, prisoners, and other persons. The congregation also sponsors a preschool serving inner-city children. While the decision to designate itself an RC was made in October 1995, the church has been a welcoming congregation for years. RECONCILED IN CHRIST RECONCILING Spring 1996 31 Good Samaritan United Methodist Church Edina, Minnesota Good Samaritan, a church of 1000 members in the suburban community of Edina, is a congregation of mostly young families. A large Sunday School program is part of an extensive ministry with children and youth. The music program includes several choirs. Good Samaritan is recognized as a “socially conscious” church and supports several urban ministries, primarily with children. The congregation’s board voted unanimously be become an RC in April 1995. Temple United Methodist Church San Francisco, California An urban congregation of 325 members, Temple was formed by the joining together of four different congregations in the early 1950s. As a racially diverse congregation with persons from many nationalities, part of Temple’s ministry has become to train persons for ministry around the world. A contemporary and a more traditional worship service are offered each week. Small groups and Stephen Ministries offer opportunities for spiritual growth. An active music ministry includes bell, children’s, and adult choirs. The congregation houses a Headstart program and a Korean congregation. Several other community groups have offices or utilize meeting space in the building. After several years of study, Temple became an RC in June 1995. A Shower of Stoles from a Cloud of Witnesses A new Presbyterian project, Shower of Stoles, aims to recognize gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons who serve the church faithfully as ministers, elders, deacons, seminarians, musicians, teachers, youth leaders, mission volunteers, and a host of other roles. The stole collection, which already numbers over 100, was unveiled at the September 1995 meeting of Heartland Presbytery in Kansas City. It will be displayed again at the More Light Churches Network conference in May 1996 and worn and displayed throughout the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Albuquerque in July as a constant reminder to commissioners and guests of the host of gifts that are being denied by the denomination. Send stoles to: Martha Juillerat/Tammy Lindahl, 6146 Locust Street, Kansas City, MO 64110. If you cannot make your own, send a minimum donation of $5.00 and one will be made for you. Straight allies may send names for inclusion on an allies’ stole or a church may send one allies’ stole with signatures on it. Donations are encouraged to help cover cost of mailings and transportation of the display. Checks: to Martha Juillerat. Victory for More Light Movement In 1992 the Presbytery of Cincinnati established an Administrative Commission to correct the inclusive policy (ordination of gays and lesbians as elders and deacons) of the Session of the Mount Auburn Presbyterian Church. In January 1996 the Commission reported that Mount Auburn is a “vital, growing, and unified congregation,” and held that no action should be taken against the congregation until the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) resolves “the constitutional discrepancies” which are apparent in its policy that gay and lesbian persons cannot be ordained. Upon hearing the report of the Commission, the Presbytery voted to dismiss it. No action was taken against Mount Auburn, a significant victory for the More Light movement and the struggle to change denominational policy preventing ordination of gay men and lesbians. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Groundbreaking Curriculum Underway Claiming the Promise, a new ecumenical welcoming Bible study is being produced by the Reconciling Congregation Program, with sponsorship from eight additional denominational programs. The seven-session adult curriculum, available in the fall, will include a study book and leader’s guide. Sponsors include the Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, Dignity (Roman Catholic), Integrity (Episcopal), More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian, U.S.A.), Open and Affirming Program of UCCL/GC (United Church of Christ), Reconciled in Christ Program of Lutherans Concerned (ELCA), Open & Affirming Program of GLAD (Disciples), and Supportive Congregations Network of the Brethren/Mennonite Council. KIRKRIDGE Gay, Lesbian, and Christian: Our Treasure John McNeill Virginia Mollenkott LaPaula Turner Scott Anderson Robert Raines June 6-9 Gay Male Rights of Passage: Moving Beyond Coming Out to Being Out Ken White John Linscheid August 16-18 We host a wide variety of workshops and have space for personal retreats-- please inquire! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * KIRKRIDGE Bangor, PA 18013 (610) 588-1793 a beautiful mountain retreat center 85 miles from NYC and Philadelphia 32 Open Hands If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Articles, personal stories, and poetry needed for theme on living in the “wilderness” on the growing edges of the welcoming movement. Wilderness is any place or situation of relative isolation from the network of welcoming churches. It may be reflected geographically, racially/culturally, in denial of call and alternate ministry, etc. Oasis in wilderness themes are welcome; e.g., your church offering an oasis of some kind in the midst of a broader wilderness related to gays and lesbians in the church. Write or call with idea: July 1 Manuscript deadline: October 1 Call for Articles for Winter 1997 Voices in the Wilderness The First National Gathering of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists August 16 – 18, 1996 — Evanston, Illinois Sharing and Celebrating our Common Mission through Workshops, Forums, Worship, Resources Keynote Address: Peggy and Tony Campolo For more information contact: The Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists P.O Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763-0894 Phone & fax: 508/226-1945 e-mail: WABaptists@aol.com A Unique Resource on Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Concerns in the Church for Christian Education • Personal Reading Research Projects • Worship Resources Ministry & Outreach Published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in conjunction with More Light, Open and Affirming, Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming & Affirming Baptist Programs. Upcoming Gatherings 3-5 May. More Light Conference, “Dance the Dream of Freedom.” Rochester, NY. Contact: Carolyn Klinge, 716/436-1078. 28-30 June. Supportive Congregations Network Gathering, “Dancing at the Table: Reimagining the Church.” North Manchester, IN. Contact: Jim Sauder, 612/305-0315. 30 June-3 July. United Church of Christ Lesbian/Gay Concerns Gathering, “Pluralism and Power.” Cambridge, MA. Contact: 800/ 653-0799. 11-14 July. Lutherans Concerned Assembly, Berkeley. CA. Contact: Bob Gibeling, 404/266-2730. 16-18 August. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists Gathering. See ad. 18-20 October. National Affirmation Fall Gathering, “Building/Exploring a Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Theology of Liberation.” New York City. Contact: National Affirmation, P.O. Box 1021, Evanston, IL 60204. RCP’s Open the Doors Campaign Converged on Denver Widespread excitement built as United Methodists across the country clearly called the church to “open its doors” to all people regardless of sexual orientation. As Open Hands went to press in mid-March, over 5000 persons had enrolled as Reconciling United Methodists with a goal of 9600 before General Conference in Denver, 16- 26 April 1996. Witness in Denver included: a press conference on 18 April where gay and lesbian laypersons and their families shared stories of pain and exclusion; a musical, “Caught in the Middle,” written by Jean Hodges of Boulder and Julian Rush of Denver; a special Open the Doors worship service with Dr. Tex Sample of St. Paul School of Theology as preacher; an Open the Doors Rally for youth, college students, and seminarians; special skits and surprise witness events; and a hospitality/education center. It’s not too late to enroll as a Reconciling United Methodist. Plans are evolving for follow-up meetings in September. Contact the RCP office at 312/736-5526. It’s time to Open the Doors! ❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). ❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached. ❑ Send list of available back issues. Enclosed is my payment of $ ____________ OR Charge $ ____________ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one) # _______________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____. Name on Card _________________________________________________________ Signature _____________________________________________________________ My Name _____________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________________ City/State/Zip __________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone (______) _____________________ Local Church __________________________________________________________ Denomination __________________________________________________________ Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No 4 - Church Conflict: Living with It! Learning From it! https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/5163f8657441436b49cf6fc07734160f.pdf a0a9bcb2d34fced60a26d45291dbc14e Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 11 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1995 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs -along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirmi ng (American Baptist) programs-offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1995 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 @ Printed on recycled paper. Remembering . .. 10th Anniversary RETROSPECTIVES ON TEN YEARS OWMAN '\ gift of naivete, an act of faith, and risky step-taking birthed Open Hands. ' Affirmation: Celebrating a Birth MORRIS FLOYD AND JEANNE KNEPPER Open Hands is an important accomplishment in Affirmation's twenty years. Changing our Name B ETH RICHARDSON Our first name, Manna for the Journey, was challenged. - RYMPH HALSEY 'V Editorsi'~ye the'Past" . 8 ~ M. BURRILL . , .A:NN-T.COOK • MARY J9 OSTERMAt)I , . and a tirt1~fi e:provide a bird's-eye view of ten afpublishing. . Issue Coordinators Reminisce 12 JEREMY LANDAU • LOIS SEIFERT • BEN ROE • CAROLINE PRESNELL Volunteers share their pleasure and the challenges involved in planning an issue. National Coordinators Reflect W ILLIAM C ALKINS Bill interviews national welcoming program leaders Judy Bond, Mark Bowman, Bill Capel, and Ann B. Day. A SCRAPBOOK OF MEMORIES Gospel Visions for our Justice Work JAMES D. ANDERSON • SUE BROWN • COSROW SHIRLEY W. DEHORITY • DONALD E. MESSER JOHN AND PAT SCHWIEBERT • LEO T READWAY VICKI L. WOODS • DAVID R. WRIGHT Human rights and social justice activists claim Open Hands as prophetic voice and companion for their journeys. 2 Open Hands 4 5 7 14 15 ----- Manna for our Faith Journeys 19 ANONYMOUS • CARLENE BESSEY • DICK BURDON BOB FICKLIN • A LLAN A. MICHAUD • ROB V AUG HN LIL VENNER • RALPH AND SANDY YORK Ten years of "manna" has strengthened readers. Open Hands Provides 21 MARY BORHEK • SHIRLEY DARE • GREG AND JADE DELL SUSAN P. D ICKERMAN • CAROLYN GAUSE • A LICE ANN G LEN TOM GRIFFITH • LUCILE AND MELVIN WHEATLEY Each issue has brought resources and sustenance. 23 Publisher Mark Bowman OpenHands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout I Graphics I Typesetting In Print -Jan Graves Cover Photo Dale Fast Why We First Subscribed 24 GERALDINE B. H EI LMAN • FRED METHERED STINA POPE • RUTH L. WALTON Early readers subscribed for many different reasons. ProgramCoordinators Our Favorite Issues 25 CARLENE BESSEY • JERRY CARTER • SHIRLEY DARE PHILIP G ILMAN • JAN GRIESINGER • BILL LASHER TIM OVERTON-H ARRIS • JOHN AND PAT SCHWIEBERT ROSE SMITH • O TIS THOMPSON AND GEORGE B OB LIL VENNER Some respondents choose a special issue or artic/e. Others can't possibly choose! tf1;1;~ OPEN Ifflll! ~~ ~ ............. . .. .. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT 26 Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond o Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel More Light Churches Network T123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Editorial Advisory Committee Lindsay Biddle, MLCN Ann Marie Coleman, ONA Dan Hooper, RIC Derrick Kikuchi, MLCN Samuel E. Loliger, ONA Dick Poole, RIC Caroline Presnell, RCP Irma C. Romero, ONA Paul Santillan, RCP Martha Scott, RCP Stuart Wright, RIC ONE MORE WORD 27 MOVEMENT NEWS 28 Summer 1995 3 on Years The gift of naivete is its release from worldly limits and conventions. Beth Richardson and I were novices at magazine publishing back in 1985 when we began thinking about an ongoing resource for Reconciling Congregations. Had we known that most new magazines fold within their first year and that it takes a large amount of capital to start a magazine, we might not have taken such a foolhardy step. The flourishing state of Open Hands ten years later is a testimony not only to this gift of naivete, but also to the power of collective vision and the grace of God. The initial act of faith was to call on United Methodist churches to become "Reconciling Congregations" at the General Conference in May 1984. Ten churches responded to the call within a few months. In this euphoria, anything seemed possible. We recognized that the declaration to be a Reconciling Congregation was only one step on a church's journey. Declarations become real in action. Reconciling Congregations would be challenged to develop ministries with lesbiaIi, gay, and bisexual persons and their families. Public witnessing by Reconciling Congregations would be helpful in inviting other churches to join them. The gay/ lesbian community needed By Mark Bowman to hear frequent words of welcome and comfort from churches. Society needed to know that all churches did not condemngays. Realizing that some kind of ongoing resource would be essential to nurturing Reconciling Congregations and cultivating the collective II reconcilingII movement, Beth and I knew a magazine was the ideal answer. So, one year after launching the Reconciling Congregation Program, we took the next risk by publishing the first issue of Manna for the Journey. (See Beth's story about the name change, page 7.) Guiding Principles Consultation with many Affirmation colleagues (a couple ofwhom even had publishing expertise) in the months preceding the first issue produced some principles to guide the magazine. In retrospect, that collective wisdom was astounding, since these same principles have driven Open Handsthroughout the past ten years. 1) A professional appearance is crucial. A friend once told me that what he liked best about Open Hands was that it looked good enough to lay out on his coffee table along with other magazines. From the beginning, we sought to communicate stability and permanence with the magaZine. We were not a "fly-by-night" operation. We intended to be around for the "long haul" on this journey. Open Hands 4 We wanted to communicate not only permanence, but also an attractive appearance. In those days when mimeographed newsletters were still the norm for churches, we sought a look which would grab people's attention. The appearance of Open Hands should literally extend a hand to invite others to join us. 2) Each issue focuses on a theme. One colleague argued against a thematic magazine because we would exhaust all possible themes regarding lesbians and gays in the church in two to three years. Ten years later we are still discovering new themes! Using a theme for each issue combines the continuity of a magazine with the utility of a study guide. Each Affirmation: Celebrating aBirth speaks to the full spectrum of persons in our churches. Concerns regarding sexual orientation are not only relevant to a subgroup of persons within our churches. The concerns of lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons also touch the life of every single Christian. Homophobia and heterosexism limit the fullness of faith for every Christian. To illustrate this, writers for Open Hands have often been asked to imagine that they are writing for the person who sits beside them in the pew on Sunday morning. 4) The tone is positive and inviting. Ten years ago, and unfortunately often yet today, much published writing in this arena is of an IIapologetic" nature, Le., seeking to convince hetero- At its recent twentieth anniversary national gathering, .Affirmation celebrated birthing of the Reconciling Congregation Program as one Of its most important contributions to the church. Open Hands is perhaJ)s the single most visible and effective resource and organizing tool now available to support advocacy for and ministry with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. We cherish its roots in Affirmation and celebrate the wide circulation and appreciation it now enjoys. -Morris Floyd afJdJeanne Knepper, spokespersons for National Affirmation issue of Open Hands is useful long beyond the quarter it is published. A particular back issue provides useful tools for a church to plan a new ministry. Another back issue becomes the content for an educational series. Another is a handy reference guide for a ministry professional. 3) Our audience is the diversity of persons in mainline churches. A good number of the early supporters and devotees of the magazine were lesbian/ gay/bisexual Christians. Lacking another publication to nourish their personal faith journeys, they latched onto Open Hands as their salvation. The temptation to fill this void has been a constant lure. While individual gay/lesbian/bisexual Christians continue to be a significant number of Open Hands' readers (and writers), the magazine Summer 1995 sexual persons that homosexual persons are truly decent folk who deserve expressions of God's love. The chief problem with such writing is that it validates the prior question of whether or not gays and lesbians are fully human. In Open Hands we break away from the limitations of this patronizing and often dehumanizing stance. The basic premise of Open Hands is that lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons are part of God's creation and are faithful Christians. This often subtle but critical distinction is the foundation of the "welcoming church" movement. Our task is not to convict others of the errors of their ways, but to invite others to join us in the struggle to become a truer reflection of God's love and God's intention for humankind. 5) Sexual orientation is balanced with other diversity concerns. The primary purpose of Open Hands is to empower churches and individuals to be in ministry with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons and their families . Homophobia and heterosexism are prime examples of unfaithfulness in our churches today. However, homophobia and heterosexism are linked with racism, sexism, classism, and other forms of discrimination and exclusion. To ignore these linkages would doom our efforts toward reconciliation. Through Open Hands we attempt to walk a delicate balancemaintaining our focus on sexual orientation while lifting up other manifestations of in justice. Guided by these five principles, we published the first issue of Manna for the Journey in the summer of 1985. The first issue, "Be Ye Reconciled," provided a framework and foundation for the fledgling Reconciling Congregation movement. We asked a New Testament scholar, the late Joseph Weber, to write a biblical basis for Reconciling Congregations. Ginny Hilton, a pastor and colleague, wrote about estrangement and reconciliation of lesbians and gays in her church. Pioneering parents, Howard and Milly Eychaner, told the story of their reconciliation with their gay son. Dr. Joanne Brown wrote a litany and prayer. Two other Mfirmation colleagues, Bruce Calvin and John Hannay, compiled an extensive bibliography on homosexuality and the church. Finally, we included introductions to some of the first Reconciling Congregations. This blend of theological reflection, personal stories, practical resources, and movement news, including profiles of new welcoming churches, continues to define the magazine to this day. Publishing that first issue was truly a labor of love and innocence. Beth edited the articles. I typed the text into an unfriendly word processor. Graphic artist Brenda Roth created titles, drew illustrations, and pasted up the copy. Two Mfirmation friends raised the funds to print 1,000 copies. We mailed these out to members of Affirmation and the Methodist Federation for Social Action, morel.." 5 inviting them to subscribe at $10 per year. These recollections reinforce my recognition that the existence of Open Hands ten years later is a miracle! Becoming Ecumenical The first few issues of the magazine, along with some recognition in the church media and other circles, brought a steadily growing number of readers. It also brought overtures to publish it with welcoming groups in other mainline denominations. While the early magazine readers were predominately United Methodist, a significant number were from other traditions. Since a similar magazine did not exist in other denominations, a joint venture was appealing. After some deliberation, Beth and I declined these early requests for two primary reasons. A few years earlier, a coalition had resurrected a dying Insight magazine in order to publish it as an interfaith gay/lesbian periodical. Lacking an acceptable plan of shared responsibility for oversight and support, that venture quickly folded. Secondly, we perceived that Open Hands' strength was its focus on Reconciling Congregations and local church ministries. We were hesitant to dilute or expand that focus until we had sufficient time to build a solid base for the continuation of the magazine. The situation changed over the next several years to create a new possibility for a successful ecumenical venture. The IIwelcoming church" programs grew and flourished in the United Church of Christ, the Presbyterian Church (USA), and Evangelical Lutheran Churches of America, as well as in the United Methodist Church. Similar programs were birthed in the Disciples, Brethren/Mennonite, and Baptist traditions. Leaders of these programs met for a weekend in 1990 to share ideas and resources. The success of this gathering led to a commitment to meet annually. While each of these programs varied slightly in emphasis and polity, there was an emerging recognition of being on a common journey. A year ofdiscussion and negotiations led to the publication of the first ecumenical issue of Open Hands inJanuary 1993. The IInew" magazine is published by the Reconciling Congregation Program in cooperation with More Light (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (UCC), and Reconciled in Christ (ELCA) churches. The size of the magazine increased by one-third to thirty-two pages, but the style and basic format remained constant. Probably the most significant change in the magazine is the richness of the expanded pool of writers and consultants. Readers' responses to the ecumenical Open Hands have been overwhelmingly positive. Personal Highlights The temptation to use the privilege of this forum to share some of my personal feelings from ten years of Open Hands is too great to resist. The ecstasy of perusing each new issue as it arrives from the printer and thinking III can't believe we actually did this!" has faded by this forty-first issue. Yet life with Open Hands still produces many moments which are truly thrilling. Some of my greatest satisfaction comes when Open Hands is on the llcutting edge" of a particular concern, when we provide new information for youour readers-that you have not found anywhere else. I remember the second issue which was about AIDS (Fall 1985) and the issues on youth (Winter 1991), bisexuality (Fall 1991), aging (Fall 1992), the religious right (Fall 1993), and campuses (Fall 1994). In each of these cases, Open Hands anticipated an emerging concern in our churches. It explored a topiC that no one else had yet published. The calls and notes after these issues are stirring: IIThanks so much-I've been waiting for this!" IIYou've affirmed my struggle!" lIyou don't know how much I needed this right now!" In most of these cases, the issue quickly sold out! . \ On a more personal level, the refinement of the Open Hands production process has brought me great joy and re~ieved me of much stress. Despite fine work by the co-editors in the early years, I was intimately engaged in the creation and production of each issue. Itwas taxing to live up to and build upon the standards of the first issues we published. The increasing hours needed for Open Hands cut into my other work as RCP Open Hands You give me hope n"ot to give up on the church. you~lt ~how.muehJ nu.ded~ \ ~now-! 6 coordinator which raised the question as to whether Open Hands was actually helping or hindering the RCP movement. Increased financial resources, ecumenical expansion, and the commitment of the RCP board to continue Open Hands resulted in hiring a part-time editor in the fall of 1992. Mary Jo has truly been a blessing to the magazineand to me! She adapted to Open Hands traditions quickly and brought insight~ ful new ideas and suggestions. Her organizational abilities have gotten the magazine back to a more regular schedule and have provided wider input into the creative process. She has improved upon the high standards she inherited. All this while requiring much less of my time! There were many moments these past en years when the weight and drudgery of producing another issue seemed overwhelming. Yet again and again God provided a word of affirmation to get the next issue moving along. The awards from the Associated Church Press were unexpected and deeply satisfying. However, the most gratifying affirmations have been a note scribbled on a renewal form, an extra sentence at the bottom of a letter, a passing comment in con- ersation: "I depend upon Open Hands for a breath of fresh air." "You give me hope not to give up on the church." "You've restored my faith in God-and myself! " The miracle of completing ten years of Open Hands could not have happened ,ithout the assistance and support of hundreds ofvolunteer planners, writers, consultants, and supporters. Join us on the journey of the next ten years as we persevere in bringing the good news of jesus Christ to a troubled church and world.~ Mark Bowman is a cofounder and national coordinator of the Reconciling Congregation Program and publisher ofOpen Hands. Changing Our1tame By Beth Richardson When the Reconciling Congregation Program was a year old, Mark Bowman and I decided we needed an ongOing resource for local churches who were beginning to declare themselves reconciling congregations. We seized on the idea of publishing a magazine and named it Manna for theJourney, a perfect description of what we wanted the resource to be for people embarking on a journey toward full inclusivity for lesbians and gay men. Soon after we began publishing Manna for the Journey, we received a letter from The United Methodist Renewal Services Fellowship, a charismatic group in the United Methodist Church. This organization, in its letter to Morris Floyd and Affirmation, charged that our publication's title was an infringement on the federal trademark they held on the title of their newsletter MANNA. We were informed that if we did not change the name of our publication, we would be subject to legal action. A few months later, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office denied our trademark application for the title, Manna for the Journey. Rather than pursue an appeal, we made the difficult decision to change the name to Open Hands, which had been the title of Mfirmation's daily newsletter at the 1984 General Conference. The idea and image of Open Hands came from John Wesley's sermon "The Catholic Spirit" which was based on II Kings 10: 15: "Is your heart true to my heart as mine is to yours? ... If it is, give me your hand" (RSV). Wesley's interpretation of this passage states fi rst that Jehu is not inquiring if he and Jehonadab are of the same opinion or worship in a similar fashion. Instead, says Wesley, the question simply is, "ls thy heart right with God? ... Dost thou believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?..ls thy faith filled with the energy of 10ve?...Is thy heart right toward thy neighbor?" Second, according to Wesley, the statement "give me your hand" is a bond of faith and love and does not convey a unity of belief and thinking. Wesley concludes by saying that a person of "catholic spirit" is one whose "heart is enlarged toward all mankind, those he knows and those he does not; he embraces with strong and cordial affection neighbors and strangers, friends and enemies."l As we noted in the announcement of the name change in the Summer 1986 issue: We find this image to be particularly meaningful for the Reconciling Congregation Program and this publication. As women and men of faith, we lay claim to the promise of the church as the inclusive Body of Christ. On behalf of those who have been cast out by the institutional church, we extend our hands to those who remain inside the ecclesiastical structures and those who are now without, welcoming them to our common bond of . love in Jesus Christ. Hands joined together span divisions and brokenness, even if they do not erase them. It is through God's saving and liberating grace that we can say "Is your heart true to my heart as mine is to yours? .. .lf it is, give me your hand." In the summer of 1986, beginning with volume 2, Manna for the Journey became Open Hands.~ Note IThe exclusively masculine language is retained from Wesley's writing, as it was when Open Hands first quoted it. It is intended to include all persons. Beth Richardson was co-coordinator of the Reconciling Congregation Program from 1984 to 1988. She lives in Tennessee and is on the editorial staff of Alive Now magazine. Summer 1995 7 From Editorial Advisory Committee to Co-Editors For the first several issues of Manna for the Journey/ Open Hands, the magazine's editorial style strove to emulate the nonhierarchical, consensus-based governing style of its parent, Affirmation. No official editors were named. Instead, several Affirmation members from across the country served on an Editorial Advisory Committee. In theory, each person was to read and comment on each article submitted to the magazine; committee members in metropolitan Washington, D.C., where the magazine was produced, were then to collate everyone's comments to produce the lIedited" articles. In practice, this system never worked very well. It became apparent that most of the editing and production work was being done by Mark and Beth, Reconciling Congregation Program co-coordinators, and the Advisory Committee members who lived in Washington. Within a few issues, Julie Morrissey, who became involved with the third issue, and I, who had been helping since the magazine's first issue, had begun functioning as unofficial co-editors. Finally, with the inauguration of the magazine's third year, it was decided to abandon the pretext of the Editorial Advisory Committee and officially name two co-editors. M. Burrill and I became responsible for coordinating each issue's editing and production, working in liaison with the RCP coordinators. -Bradley Rymph A Lunch and an Offer When the phone rang and Mark Bowman invited me to lunch, my years as co-editor of Open Hands began. I worked closely with Brad Rymph, an editor by profession, who gave me a crash course in the details, terminology, and shorthand notations involved in editing a periodical. To this novel partnership, I brought my knowledge of the church, a background in Christian education, and writing and proofreading skills. As co-editors, we were not only involved in technical editing tasks, but also had input into issue themes and possible article angles. We recruited writers and wrote articles to fill content gaps when necessary. We typed submitted manuscripts into computers for ease of editing. For my part, spell check was a necessity for rapid discovery of my many late-night typos. From beginning to end, each issue generated a stack of paper six to eight inches high in articles, rewrites, edited versions, blue-line copies, and final versions. Near the end of my tenure as co-editor, we moved to a system of volunteer issue coordinators. As a theme was selected, a coordinator was recruited who then took charge of fleshing out the issue. Recruiting of writers, urging writers to meet deadlines, and first draft editing was done by the issue coordinator. Bringing another person into the loop broadened the perspective and strengthened the magazine. I learned much during my time with Open Hands-not onI in the technical aspects of journal production but in other ways as well. It was personally healing for me to be involved in such a positive way with the connections between church and sexuality. I am honored to have played a role in the life of this publication. Thanks again, Mark, for lunch and an offer I couldn't refuse. M. Burrill, a Christian educator and sexuality educator, was coeditor from 1987 to 1990. 1985 8 Open Hands Dull Gray to Semi-Glossy to Environmentally Correct For its first four years, Open Hands was printed on an unassuming, uncoated (Le., not glossy), ay paper stock. Actually, the fifth issue was printed on an uncoated ivory stock, but it was n less attractive, so the magazine reverted to gray. To enhance the magazine's display apal, a second color was added to the cover at the beginning of the third year, but the gray aper remained. ith the beginning of year five (in 1989) and the selection of its third graphic designer, the Open Hands management team decided to take a small step to the big time: a shift to a semiossy, coated, white paper and a new design. The bright paper and design made the magazine re appealing in displays and sales racks, but with environmental consciousness rapidly easing, Open Hands' staff increasingly questioned why we were not using recycled paper. This question became particularly embarrassing for me, as I was working full-time as an itor for World Wildlife Fund and had done the research to propel that organization's shift to . led paper. The Open Hands graphic designer and I identified an option for producing the gazine on an uncoated, white recycled paper. Not only did this paper exceed the recycledr guidelines set by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, but the ,\. paper also was less expensive than the glossy white paper the maga. e had been using. As a result, beginning with the Spring 1991 issue, O{'el1 Hands was able to shift not just to recycled paper but also to the use of a second ink color in addition to black throughout the magazine-and have a slightly reduced printing bill to boot. ley Rymph works for a consulting company in metropolitan Washington, .c. He continued work as co-editor through the Summer 1992 issue. Recognition from the Christian Publishing Mainstream In 1988, Open Hands management decided to test the religious mainstream. The magazine applied for membership in the Associated Church Press (ACP), an association of over 175 religious magazines and newspapers published in the United States and Canada. To the surprise of at least some persons involved with producing the magazine, Open Hands' application was accepted. Each year the ACP sponsors an Award of Merit competition among its member publications. In 1989, Open Hands won the Award of Merit for best /lin-depth coverage of a current issue" for its Summer 1988 issue, /lLiving and Loving with AIDS." That year, it also won an Honorable Mention in the premier category, /lGeneral Excellence." -Bradley Rymph 1987 1988 1989 OH wins ACP Award of Merit (for magazines of fewer than 10,000 subscriptions) for best "in-depth coverage of acurrent issue"-AIDS-and Honorable Mention in the premier category "General Excellence." Summer 1995 9 Amazing Times Those were amazing times, with tender dialogues (has anything really changed?) and pain and hope and struggle. The 'parts of being a co-editor and an issue coordinator that touched and/or tickled me most: • Voices ofteens reflecting on what would happen if they did or did not come out to their parents. • Lifting up the silenced, powerful, agonized voices of lesbian clergy. • Reflections on the possibilities, pitfalls, and tensions in becoming allies. • Suggestions for street theater to give would-be allies a glimpse of the pervasive impact of homophobic, heterosexist society. • A lesbian artist's healing as she contributed her own version of spiritual connectedness. Ann Thompson Cook is executive director ofthe Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice and a member of Dumbarton United Methodist Church in Washington, D. C. She served as co-editor during 1991. 1990 Relationships and Connections My memories of the year I served as a co-editor of Open Hands are filled with people, stories, paSSion, and pain. The magazine format and editing details have faded into obscurity, but the relationships and connections I made with people, the personal stories I was entrusted with, and the deep feelings of passion and pain, both of others and my own, continue to have an influence on me and my ministry. My work with Open Hands, which was my introduction into the reconciling community, provided a positive outlet at a difficult time in my ministry. I was feeling extremely constricted in my local church at the time, and the people I worked with at Open Hands provided me with a breath of fresh air. (I have to thank especially Brad Rymph, Van Dixon, and Mark Bowman for shared laughter and new perspectives.) What I found in the reconciling community was a dedication to the gospel of love and reconciliation that called forth life and celebration, even when surrounded by many deaths from HIVI AIDS and a sense of exclusion from the church. I found great passion and deep pain. Much of this sense of dedication and enthusiasm in the midst of suffering and grief came from my contact with individual contributors to Open Hands. The story that had the greatest impact on me was "I Don't Get Baptized Anymore" by Mark King (Summer 1992 issue). His story was a painful one of searching and struggling, of being rejected by the church, of one who "(hasn't) stopped looking for God" (but has) stopped looking in church. Living with HIV, his question is: "If I have taken half my life trying to find God, why won't God take just a moment to find me?" His story and others continue to influence me as a local pastor. What kind of God are we the church conveying? When will we rise above fear and prejudice to be true to the gospel of love and reconciliation? How can I help my church and the Church develop IIopen hands"? My experience with Open Hands is one that lives on as people, stories, passion, pain-and as a call to do justice. Betsy L. Halsey is a United Methodist clergywoman serving in the Baltimore Washington Conference. She served as co-editor during 1992. 1991 1992 Betsy Halsey co-edits with Bradley through Summer' Mary do Osterman begins as part-time editor in Fall. subscribers OH goes ecumenical. Anationaleditorial advisory corrvr '. tee is formed, with representatives from each progra:" It meetsin Chicago in fall to plan first ecumenical issues. Open Hands 10 'e Honors In 1992, the ACP again honored Open Hands-this time by giving it the Award ofMerit for "General Excellence" among magazines with fewer than 10,000 subscribers. The judges praised Open Hands ,as IIan exemplary publication because of its courage. It provides a valuable sere to an element of the population o may have no other publication to ,"hich to turn." -Bradley Rymph. Nolt,: .,qep Iuu cIA.opped it6, ~~wzar;a~wiLlI, {ewu tIuzn Vf)OO~and~ w.iIA nuYle,. We, 1e, now. ~wiLlI, tIte, '~" m~~! -~ From Co-editors to One Part-time Editor The year 1992 was a momentous one for me! In February, I moved from Chicago (where I had lived for twenty-nine years) to the Denver area. By the end of the summer, I was still searching for the right ministry where I might contribute my skills and my commitment to a more inclusive church and world. Open Hands had been a significant part of my life since the first issue appeared. In my education work with local churches and other groups in the Northern Illinois Conference, and through my outreach work in the Kinheart Women's Center, I had used articles, resources, and liturgies many times. I had written several articles for the magazine and helped plan two issues. When the ad for a part-time editor arrived in my mailbox in Colorado, I immediately said "Yes!" This was what I was waiting for! Mark had devised a rather detailed application process, which as I completed it, just increased my interest. I reviewed about thirty issues of the magazine (I had them all!) and then critiqued three more closely. Looking at Open Hands as its would-be editor, I was even more impressed than I had been through the years as a reader! I could see the strengths. I could also see ways I could contribute as its editor. Then came the telephone interview. Mark's questions were thought provoking-and I had a great time answering them. When the call came several weeks later, I said "Yes, when do I start!" Several challenges awaited me immediately: creating a new ecumenical planning process with a brand-new advisory team, planning and editing the first ecumenical issue of Open Hands (Winter 1993), and putting a planning and publishing schedule in place that worked for the various people now involved with the magazine. I also knew that Mark and the RCP board wanted me to take most of the magazine responsibilities off Mark's hands so he could devote more time to general Re p work. Working long-distance with Mark and our designer (both based in the Chicago area) and with program coordinators and advisory committee members scattered all over the country has slowly evolved into a comfortable process. As we finish our tenth year of Open Hands publication, I'm off and running on a new set of challenges. (See editorial on page 27.) Mary /0 Osterman began as editor with the Fall 1992 issue. 1993 1994 1995 Summer 1995 11 Jssue Coordinators 9<eminisce Collaborating on AIDS Issues When I first heard about Manna for the Journey/Open Hands, I had three reactions: a. The church will never take this seriously. b. It is about time those committed to justice issues did this. c. IfMark and Beth are involved, it must be good. I followed these reactions with a commitment to support the new magazine with a subscription, personal support for its founders, and writing for the magazine whenever possible. My life in the church as a gay minister with HIV has obviously been turbulent. Open Hands has been a light in this darkness. At the time of its emergence, I was struggling with my continued relationship with the church as I became an early IIAIDS activist." There were a few of us back then and the church would have wished us away. We stayed and Methodism eventually came on board. How many lives might have been saved if the church had born honest witness to this calamity? When I was invited to help coordinate each issue on AIDS (IiLiving and Dying with AIDS," Fall 1985, and IlLiving and Loving with AIDS," Summer 1988), I responded eagerly. I love reading the magazine, but the opportunity to put ari issue together collaboratively and to learn how much suffering and joy people in the heartland are experiencing in an AIDS context-in spite of and because of the church-was one of the more fulfilling endeavors of my life! I hope the epidemic finally turns a corner so that another, more positive issue, would be justified. It might be entitled: II Government Admits to AIDS Cure/Church Apologizes to Martyrs." Open Hands has helped to reinforce my beliefs and strengthen them when the church has often been an alienating force. When I was invited to write an article for a recent issue (Spring 1993), I was in a time of struggle with the denomination. Open Hands and its editor helped me put my witness concerning AIDS in perspective rather than in exile. At a time when terrorism becomes homegrown, poverty and hopelessness escalate in our cities, AIDS spreads deeper and deeper into the very fabric of our society, and the government takes out a contract on America, it is heartening to know that magazines like Open Hands, and welcoming congregations that support it, exist. Jeremy Landau, who lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, was the founder and executive director of the Rural AIDS Network. He is a photographer and health care advocate. Photo: lain Boltin Expanding Family Images I was honored to be asked to be an issue coordinator for IlImages of Family" (Fall 1989), and even more so to be working with Bert All. We each had our own circle of contacts which provided a wide variety of resource persons. I don't know how long ago Bert knew that he had AIDS,'but he was a trouper and a participator in everything his strength would allow right up until his death last fall. Homosexuality was not as openly discussed ten years ago as it is now. The Claremont United Methodist Church had been providing a support group for families and friends of lesbians and gays since March 1984, largely because Marshall Brewer had just come out to his parents. When Marshall and John Calvi were united in love, with a marriage ceremony by a Friends Meeting in Vermont, their story became an article in Illmages of Family." It was also fun working with John Cobb and Will Beardsley on biblical images of the family. Our church subscribes to five issues of Open Hands which are available on the literature table. In May 1993, the congregation, by a 75 percent vote, became a Reconciling Congregation. Who can say in what ways Open Hands contributed to this welcoming stance? Lois Seifert is a retired diaconal minister/Christian educator. She and her husband, Harvey, live in Pilgrim Place, a retirement community for religious workers in Claremont, California. They have three daughters, one ofwhom is a lesbian who didn't come out until after Lois had started the PFLAG support group. Lois says, "If only I had known while she was in high school what I understand about homosexuality now!" 12 Open Hands ___ .i1lg Sexual Ethics eciated being asked to coordinate the sexual ethics "nter 1989) of Open Hands. I had been heavily involved _ "Jesus. :;21Uality issues in Lincoln, Nebraska, in my association with on Human Sexuality, but had not been very involved dnds of issues since moving to Denver. This was an ---.-,. ..... nity to contribute something more to the movement, . seminary training as well as interest and experience enches" during those Nebraska years. ember feeling somewhat daunted by the task of findwho could and would write short articles, even though written books on the subject! I once wrote that deal"th the issue of homosexuality puts in focus what a 's real sexual ethic is. I would now broaden that to say Ie area of sexual orientation does this. _nk that reflection on ethics from the gay/lesbian/biexperience is important for our community to do, but S important for the larger community and, especially, "stian community. I appreciated working with Joanne -ery much, as well as with Brad and Mark, and hope we mething helpful to the movement with this issue. e and I have long felt that the Reconciling Congregagram and the communication channel of Open Hands .. important in the movement towards a more inclusive " erse church that welcomes the gifts of all who seek to oe, a United Methodist minister on leave ofabsence, works in the software department ofan environmental monitoring company. Maggie, an M.Div. student at Iliff School of Theology, works at the school and at theColorado Council ofChurches. They are active at Warren United Methodist Church on Capitol Hill in Denver. Maggie is currently a board member ofRCP; Ben has served on the board as well. mmer 1995 ! t:i~~ ,.~t..¥~ ~~::~.~ Explori1lg Bisexual Issues When Mary Jo Osterman and I were invited to coordinate the bisexuality issue (Fall 1991), I wondered "Why me?" I soon realized it was a fine opportunity. For several years I had been co-leading educational workshops on sexuality and homophobia as a volunteer for the Kinheart Women's Center, so it wasn't exactly a new topic. However, I was becoming aware that I needed to do some more study and thinking about bisexuality to better answer questions that came up in the workshops and to clarify my own thinking. Here, in Open Hands, was the perfect framework around which to organize it all, complete with deadlines! I could do something I already intended to do and contribute to the welcoming movement at the same time. Part of the excitement of working on the magazine was the intellectual stimulation and engagement with Mary Jo as we shared and processed information together. We spent many hours sorting through issues, deciding which ones made up the core Open Hands should address, and working through our overall view of sexual orientation to incorporate additional information. Part way in, we realized the bisexuality issue was likely to be controversial to our readers, so we offered to do a pre-publication workshop for the Reconciling Congregation Program board (at that time, the sole publisher). This gave me a head start on organizing the material for workshop presentation and getting feedback on it. I received an extra bonus when two bisexual people close to me asked to see the completed magazine as information for their own journeys. One of them was newly out and the other was just beginning to come out to herself. Both found it useful. I am also reminded of how important Open Hands is when I learn that PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) groups, seminary discussion groups, and others have used it. I don't know of any other publication that provides this kind of solid, topic-focused information in accessible language. Congratulations to all of us! Caroline Presnell is a member of Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation, in Evanston, Illinois. She serves as a member of the Advisory Committee of Open Hands and has written several times for the magazine. 13 Bill interviews national welcomingprogram leaders Judy Bond, Mark Bowman, By William Calkins Bill Capel, and Ann B. Day. "The courage ofsome churches is inspiring, " Says Ann B. Day, coordinator for the National Open and Mfirming Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. She cites Central Congregational Church in Topeka, Kansas, as an inspiration in the face of the Fred Phelps phenomenon. Phelps and his family/congregation picket all over the country at funerals for people who had AIDS. They visited the twenty-fifth anniversary celebration of Stonewall in New York with signs that said GOD HATES GAYS, DEATH TO SODOMITES, and GAYS DESERVE DEATH. /lForcefully hostile as he seems to be, it's easier for others not to get involved, " Day says. However, Phelps hasn't slowed Pastor Don Miller and Central Congregational from actively witnessing in the face of that hostility. The Climate M ark Bowman, national coordinator of the Reconciling Congregation Program reflects that /I Over all, gay and lesbian issues don't receive as good a hearing (in the United Methodist Church) as they did ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago." On the other hand, he notes that the number of RCs continues to grow. /lOne of the gifts of the Reconciling Program," says Bowman, /lis to point out that the church has been asking the wrong questions about whether you can be gay and Christian. The right question is: Can you close the door on thousands of people, whole groups of people?" The climate in the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America) is mixed, according to Judy Bond, coordinator for the Reconciled in Christ program. A second draft of a study on sexuality is currently Circulating among church bodies. The response to the first draft was so hatefully anti-gay and lesbian that "some of the ELCA staff required counseling." The current draft is still not conservative enough for many, she says. The negative reaction to the study, however, II awakened all those congregations who said 'we don't agree'. A lot of the persons in Reconciled in Christ congregations were distressed and discouraged by the intensity of the response. One of the bright lights was that a group of folks brought together a reforming church conference." Seven hundred individuals addressed whether reform was actually possible in the ELCA; the conference seemed to breathe new hope into the movement. liThe Sixty-two More Light Presbyterian Churches," according to Bill Capel, co-moderator along with Virginia Davidson, of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A) More Light Churches Network (MLCN), "are just a tip of the iceberg. Many churches are not willing to state that they'll ordain a gay or lesbian elder (lay leader). We have many more welcoming congregations than are officially declared More Light." More Light Churches are actually in disobedience of denominational policy when they elect gay and lesbian church elders. The climate in the United Church of Christ is a beacon of hope for us all. The UCC national administrative body, or General Synod, voted to be open and affirming in 1985, the only denomination related to Open Hands ever to do so at that level. One hundred fifty-eight local churches and nine UCC Conferences also have open and affirming resolutions. "Welcoming churches' willingness to make connections with what they say and then do are the key to powerful witness," says Day. Ecumenical Connections Originally intended as a resource for United Methodist Reconciling Congregations, Manna for the Journey/ Open Hands served that audience for seven years. However, Bowman notes that from the very beginning some subscribers were connected with other denominational welcoming programs. Part of the reason the magazine went ecumenical in 1993 was economic. "Quite frankly," says Bowman, "we needed a broader base of support to sustain the magazine into the future. At the same time, it was becoming clearer ilia the different welcoming programs we" on a common journey and needed ~ support each other." Ann Day was excited when the decsion was made to turn the magazine in an ecumenical publication. Day refle that Open Hands is "an invaluable too to understand what's going on in othe denominations' comparable programs. We don't have to re-invent the whee We can benefit from their experience. The Open and Mfirming Program gives new welcoming churches a one-year subscription gift to ensure that they start out "plugged in." Bill Capel says that all of the board members of the More Light Churches Network use Open Hands as a tool. It is "where we come to terms with ecumenical things." Judy Bond agrees that the magazine provides a sense of a whole interdenominational sweep. "We are working on the same issues and none of us are alone out there. As we hear a more strident conservative movement, it helps to know we have partners in this struggle." Bowman concludes that in addition to being valuable to congregations, Open Hands serves as a personal resource, especially for individuals in smaller communities who are isolated from groups of like-minded people. The magazine helps them feel connected in a climate where many doors are still closed. T William Calkins, M.A., formerly an educator in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) has also been heavih involved in the United Methodist Church and currently participates in education at Sixth Avenue United Church of Christ in Denver, Colorado. 14 Open Hands J;{)-m IAOtor!tlIl Ar:;udfoe to-Deep 8m/atlu; I have long been active in peace and justice issues at all levels of the Presbyterian Church,U.S.A. and its predecessor. In 1976, I made an aggressive effort to inform my ignorance (and prejudice) regarding homosexuality. The more aware I became, the more I saw the many parallels between racism, sexism, and heterosexism. Since the decision in 1978, which made ordination of homosexuals all but impossible, I have worked to educate others and share my own journey from "Victorian" prejudice to deepempC;lthy. When Open Hands became available, my husband and I immedi~ ately subscribed. It has become another valuable tool in educating and sensitizing the dominant majority of the church. I am often surprised at how few Methodists are aware of this · very good publication. _ 9hcrlel( W. De l-/o-ritlj uer 1995 15 Gospel Visions for our Otl: A AtJ-jJhetc'O qUic/e and Justice Work l?e(Jo-ming OuwjJo-/ten Ad()(}OaiM and Co-fflJJanl()n~ The 1984 General Conference of the United Methodist Church, which John attended as a clergy delegate, revealed to us first hand how firmly the church is bound by a spirit of fear about sexuality and about people who are perceived to be sexually different. Following the Conference, we were embarrassed and saddened by the inability of our denomination to embrace even its own sexual minority members, preferring instead to conform to the prevailing cultural norm which allows and promotes prejudice against sexual minority persons. Into this atmosphere of fear-and from deep within the church itseli-came Open Hands. It came addressing the fear, comforting the victims of that fear, and demonstrating that a breath of change is blowing that will eventually drive away the fear and lead the church back to faith. Open Hands has been at least partly responsible for our becoming outspoken advocates for the full inclusion of sexual minority persons in our Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference and for encouraging our church to become a Reconciling Congregation with an ordained lesbicm. UMC minister as our co-pastor. Mostly, however, Open Hands, provides us and our sexua:. minority companions with "manna for the journey" towards full acceptance of lesbigay persons. And, since Open Hands has become an ecumenical publication, it has helped us to expand our interest and work across denominational lines. cfo-hn Siah()}{e6erteJ> ao--jJMto-rolJrletanola Peaae Co-mmuntft( Un{ted JrlethodtJ>t Chura/z, areaona{/cng a(}fl gregaf[o-n {n Pwt!and Oregon. hteJ> dr:reato-r ola Jrletanola mefu"S'trt( Im01J.fn M Pennata! .,;;/!rm wh{ahjJuM~1ze.g re.f(}Urae.f Ib-r jJarentf who-aregnel/eng the death o-!aaheld. Sihe eJ> awo-a mem6er o-!the !(}(Ja! Jrletro-jJo-!ctan Communtft( Chura/z, where ~he eJ> we!ao-med andena!udeden ~jJete o-!the !aa! that ~he {~hetero-~eKua!! Co-mjJanio-n The journey for justice necessitates traveling through many dark nights of the soul and facing many seemingly insurmountable barriers. Open Hands serves as our prophetic guide and companion in the struggle for Christian inclusiveness and caring. As Martin Luther King Jr. reminded us, too often the church has served as a taillight rather than as a headlight for justice. In regard to gays and lesbians, the church has provided almost no light at all. Open Hands, however, has chosen to ignite a candle of hope rather than simply to curse the darkness. Having fought in the civil rights revolution, and having seen the church and society finally beginning to change, I do believe, deep in my heart, that ultimately the church will repent of its anti-lesbian and anti-gay stances. Someday we shall overcome-and when we do, we will remember the faithful and fearless witness of Open Hands and all those who made it possible. Dona!d 8. JrleMer hM 6een re.f{dent 0/ -5)!tI! Siah(){)/ ol7Jzedogt( {n Denver; Coio-rado; Ib-r the/1(1-2t !(}Urteen t(ear~. Autho-r o-!~ex 600-h, he ao-edtfed Caught (n the Cro-~~I/:re: f..Ie!p{ng ChnJ>teaM De6ate f..Io-mo-~eKua/ctl(. Do-n sat(~, ' 17o-t on!t( am -5) an o-rtg{na! ~u6~or{6er; 6ut -5) 6e/ceve -5) have readevert( eJ>~ue/ C09ROWReI!e(JW Congratulations on your 10th year anniversary! We celebrate with you! Our recollection of Open Hands begins when the magazine went by the name Manna for the Journey You have "come a mighty long way"! The magazine has been an effective resource for the church as the church continues to engage in dialogue about homosexuality, ordination, and other attendant issues. Open Hands has also provided helpful information about the Reconciling Congregation movement and similar movements in other denominations. Thanks for your good work! -7Jze Cfenera! Co-mmeJ>Non on the Sitatu~ and Role olWo-men, Untfed JrlethoriM Churah 16 Open Hands 'arher,g {)-tl thecfourtlet; emember when an announcement for Open Hands first came across my desk in 1985. -rngspan Ministry at St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Church and the local chapter of rans Concerned were gearing up to actively promote LC/NA's "Reconciled in Christ" am in the state of Minnesota. One of the questions facing us was how to keep congre:--..5 engaged in dialogue and ministry with lesbians and gay men...once they had ob~heir ruc status. It occurred to me that we could offer a complimentary first year ..ption to each congregation as they achieved ruc status. I believed the magazine serve as a small "thank you," and that its articles could support, encourage, and ge congregational members to continue stretching and growing in their understandut ministry with lesbians and gay men. I was absolutely right, as it turned out. en Hands had a way, not only of supporting and encouraging us (especially with its jp resources) but of challenging all of us. The issue on bisexuality (Fall 1991) chal:hose of us who were gay or lesbian to be inclusive of our brothers and sisters whose . differed from ours. We had spent so much energy challenging the church to accept ~o be inclusive of us that it was a powerful experience to be challenged on that same .8 _ not often pause to reflect on the blessings of people, places, and events that God across my path. But on this 10th Anniversary for Open Hands, I would like to think Tas God whose hand prompted the appearance of this publication ... and that it was UAly Spirit that nudged us all to consider the many questions which Open Hands before us . Thank God for this wonderful blessing in our common lives together. Leo poses wit h Squeaker, Who is not impressed by an y of Leo's commitments that take him awa y. flUlJZh Io-r the 1II()tltla! .d!eo-7readwaI( 6egan lu~ mtntstrt( wttlz gal( and !e.g6tan fleo-fl!e twentt(-Ifve t(ear.2 ago-and.2flent rxrer lza!10-1 tlzo-.2e t(ear.2 a.2 mtnt.2trt( a.2M{Jtate Ib-r tlze Wtng.2flan 1fItflt'.2trt( 0-1 9t. Paul-Refb.rmatto-n .d!utlzeran Cizurolz. I-Ie no-w d{rect.2 aro-gram fb.r tlze 1fIeilneaflo-!c'.2 9alzo-o-! ric'.2trtat, eil .2Uflflo-rt 0-1 q .d!'BJ.2tudent.2, stall, laau!tt(, andtlzetr l'amt!c'e.2. Manna for the Journey came to us just when we needed it in 1985. The More Light Churches movement in the Presbyterian Church was seven years old and had just received its first big blow. The high court of the Presbyterian Church had just declared it illegal for a Presbyterian congregation to welcome lesbian, gay, and bisexual folks into the full life of the family of faith. The ban on our participation now extended to the local church as it included the lay offices of deacon and elder in the local congregation. Our newsletter, More Light Update, focused on the political, ecclesiastical, and theological battles in the Presbyterian Church. What we needed was another medium to emphasize both the broader and the more intimate needs of lesbian, gay, and bisexual folk and their families and friends as they pursued their daily lives in the context of their faith. This was Manna for the Journey-later to become Open Hands offering vital manna. From the beginning you have been outreaching across our denominational barriers and boundaries, welcoming us all into the inclusive church that stands as our goal and our vision. Thanks for the manna! Thanks, Open Hands. cfame.g D Ander.2o-nlzCL.2 6een Co-mmuntaatto-n.2 9 ecretart( Ib-r RM6t(tert'an.2 fb.r fo6tan &-qal( C()-flaem.2 .2eilae / () gO. He ai-2O-.2erve.2 CL.2 edtto-rfou6!c'.2lzerMP .d!qc~ mo-ntlzltt 1fI0-re Ltglzt U;zdateJan e'.2 CL.2.2(){Jtate dean andrMM.2o-r til tlze 9alzo-o-!MCo-mmuntaatto-n, ~nfb.rmatto-n, and.d!{6rart( 9turic'e.2 at Rutgm. .3 'REAK TIME: As Chair of the President's Select Committee for Lesbian &. (;-oy Concerns at Rutgers. jim works with many lesbian. gay. bisexual. and r'onsgender students. faculty. and staff 17 ~er 1995 01-1: An Alternative Clzn-gtlan RMjJon.fe "Homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching." Before these words found their way into The Book ofDiscipline of the United Methodist Church, they were already the theological justification for exclusion of gays and lesbians from ordained ministry, as well as from full acceptance within the Christian community. Open Hands became for me an alternative Christian response in this dialogue. I believe the magazine and those committed to its publication have been the most prophetic voice in the United Methodist Church on this issue. The church will one day recognize Open Hands and those who have been its voice in the same way it has needed to give thanks for those who opposed the religious justification of slavery and the exclusion of women from the ordained ministry. Open Hands has been a primary resource for me to share with so many persons on a spiritual journey who have been invited by the church to journey elsewhere. My ministry would not have been the same if I had not had such a theologically sound and grounded resource. fAoki .;;i? W(){){./.g t:g ciL:gtnd .fujJerintendent 0/the /)1 o-rthem D t:gtrid ol'the /)1 ew 8ng!and Annua! C oni'erenoe 0/the Uuted 1r'Iethodi.ft Church. 9he U:IJ'M in BangO-I; 1rlaine. HAPPY FAMILY: Cody and Julie Maria are co-parenting Julie's two sons. Russell and Dallas. HOLY UNION RECEPTION: Cody Emmett (Jeft) dances with her mother. Sue Brown. at Cody and Julie's March 2B. 7992. reception. 01-1: .f..IefjJ.f 1rIe ~7izem Antlwtl/f Open Hands would have all United Methodist chur be reconciling congregations. So would I! When I firs s scribed to Open Hands, my Methodist church in so . west Denver was studying the issue of gays in the chure . I had just found out I had a teenage daughter who was a lesbian. I don't go to that church anymore, but I want to keep loving the people there...even the friend who said it was okay for my daughter to be her daughter's soccer coach, but it wasn't all right for her to be her Sunday School teacher. It is hard to understand people with homophobic attitudes, but Open Hands helps give me the ability to try to love them anyway. Open Hands has been the one magazine I read from front to back. Thank you and keep up the good work. 9 ue Bro-wn, Nxtt( t(ear.f o-!d, o-wn.f her o-wn 1r'Ier!e /)1 o-rman C rwnefitJ 9tudio-. 9he t:g a jJMtpMl'dent o-t Uuted 1rlethodL:gt Women anda I-/umanitart'an Award reNjJt'ent. 9he taught 9undat( 9 ohoollOr twentt( t(ear.f and WM (}fl the Pa.fto-r-Part:gh 12elati(}fl.f Co-mmittee lOr Nxteen. 9he hM t/)}(}daughter.f, o-ne o-twho-m hl2fljJen.f to-6e .ftratglzt. 1rIafang a / gO 0 'Jurn My wife Janet and I had been members of Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (PLGC) for many years. In 1978, at the General Assembly of the PCUSA, I voted for the ordination of gays and lesbians. I had changed my mind 180 degrees after a great deal of biblical study and reading all the resources I could find at the tline. A good resource like Open Hands was too good to pass up. I have kept every copy. It is lonely working toward full membership and ordination rights in the UMC and PCUSA. Open Hands has continued to keep us in touch with our other sisters and brothers. When Janet and I started on our "journey" toward human rights in the secular community 'and ordination rights in the church community, our two sons were in grade school (eight and six years old). Now, they are "open and affirming" adults. DtliHd R. Wrightre.fi!Jnedht:g jJMfo.rate aimo-,gt t/)}(} t(ear.f ago-. I-/e n(}/)}p(}()1.de.f olllidoare I'o-r ht:g grand.f(}fl, /)}(}rh again.ft the Mn.ftant anti-glJ.t( ri!Jht.f ifutiatilJ'M in WMhingfo.n .ftate, do-M mo-re /)}(}rk I'o-r P d!qc and .f[mdar eoumeniOaigro-up, and.fM!he!;7.f keejJ the he.f6t(tert( o-t geatt!e aware that the ohurch Wi!! ohange it.f v-iew (}fl ho-mo-,geKuaittt(-.fo-medlJ.t(. PLAYTIME: DaVid notes that his grandson. Jesse. will be the third generation Wright without homophobia in his family life. 18 Open Hands Manna for our faith J;eg/z Fine K:ndltn!J en Hands has been a great witness to faith. It has helped me know, appreciate, and eroic persons who believe in God's presence in, and hope for, the church when the has refused to believe in God's people. I often recommend Open Hands to my ·s at Randolph-Macon College where I teach a class on Religion and Sexuality. unes, particular articles have been required reading. PJways, Open Hands has been a Ie resource for students' research. It has helped to prepare students to dissolve prejuexpand minds, and be ready for open and constructive dialogue with openly gay and . persons. It has also been invaluable in trying to establish a "reconciling congrega-ganization" in my area ?s well as beginning and nurturing an Affirmation chapter. . ISsues on "Church on a Journey toward Sexual Inclusivity" (Winter 1995) and "Camlistries with Sexual Minorities" (Fall 1994) are magnificent. Their practical help and commitment to a vision of faith have been like fresh pine kindling added to a slow g fire which had begun to crumble to glowing embers. U '71m i.2 a (/trginia Un ded 1iIethodr.djJMto-rieduaato-rires'earcher who-nurtures' the IJ-iS'io-n 0-1aahurch f'o.r all 'S' anddaughterS'. Journe4S Open Hands was given to me as a gift-and what a "gift" it has turned out to be. After that first year, I was hooked and have subscribed ever since. In turn, I give Open Hands to friends as a gift. I attend rural churches and Iknow that most of the people I worship with are homophobic/racist. As I read Open Hands, I feel I am worshipping with friends and "family" in an atmosphere of complete love, as Jesus taught. Writers for Open Hands keep confirming that Jesus does truly love us and that we are not sinners because of our orientation. This is very 'trenftlz Irrr ourJoartler and Wo-rk e Yorks have always been human rights activists, believing in inclusiveness in all What a shock to hear that the United Methodist Church is not totally inclusive. ediately began to work towards the goal of inclusiveness at all levels of the UMC. our homosexual brothers and sisters not to be recognized in the "safety" of the seemed totally unacceptable to us. Our work began back in the 1970s and contin·his day, sometimes with a lot of heartache and frustration-but we cannot let top us. en we heard about the plan to publish a magazine, Manna for the Journey, we ectately subscribed. It gives us strength and courage to continue as we read the scriptures, litanies, etc. It gives full meaning to life. We continue to work with congregations who are studying the idea of becoming "Reconciling Congregaand Open Hands gives us courage to continue this ministry. We eagerly read every 0: Open Hands and circulate it among friends and family. We see our task as :g seeds, giving God the chance to harvest ultimately. We read in the Talmud: e work is great, e day is short, The laborers are sluggish, e Master is insistent. are not obliged to complete the task. e:ther are you free to desist from it. atulations on your 10th anniversary. Keep up the good work! tforll is' a retired Unded 1iIethodr.'S'tjJMto-r andf'o.rmer cit'S'tnd S'ujJerintendent. S}andt( f/o-rll t'S' a retired '/OilCher who-t'S'res'entlt( ¥jJo-tnted6t( the W o-metz J. D iIJ-t'S'io-n o-Ithe Qeneral g o-ard0-1Q l0-6al 11Iint'S'~''le {..(1iIC as' an advocate f'o.r Unded IJ1 dio-nS' C o-naernS'. f...Ier artiale 'geMming a Reao-nailing -eJWe' aan 6e f'o.und in S}ring / () gg,!fqe . / 2 important to me. C arlene ges'S'er.; liveS' in 1iIaine wdh her jJartner. 'flter.; are no-! M active as' thet( uS'ed to-6e o-r wt'S'h ther.; ao-uld6e, 6eing limited 6t( jJht(S'faalcit'S'a6ildieS'. C arlene S'at(S', ' DjJetz f...IandS' reallt( 6rightenS' mt( dar.;.' THE YORKS: Ralph and Sandy York have been human rights activists for over fifty years. mer 1995 19 In 1985 I was actively involved in the Wilshire United Methodist Church, having recently moved to Los Angeles from central Illinois. At that time, I was going through my own coming-out process, attempting to reconcile being gay with my Christianity. Open Hands assured me that I was not alone in the struggle to remain in the church as a gay man. It has also helped reinforce my understanding of being a Christian in the world today. We are called to be healers, leaders, and agents of change in a troubled world. We are called to bring the good news of God's love for everyone into our local communities and ultimately change people's lives. Open Hands, as well as the Reconciling Congregation Program, give me hope for the future of the United Methodist Church. Frankly, it is very difficult to support the worldwide United Methodist Church when its positions are so unwelcoming to many people. B0-6 :Jicklin, wlzo-.§e untie andgrandlatlzer were 1rletlzodid minider.§, wa.§ 60rn andrearedo-n tlze larm in Central 01!cnoi.§. At Wc!.§lzire United 1rletlzodc"S't Clzumlz Ize IzM olzairedtlze i!.nanoe oo-mmitiee andadmtnt"J>trattiJ-e6o-ard Iza.§ .§eru-ed on PMto-r Pt2rt"J>1z !<?elatiom, andIza.§ tauglzt adult [;Junda!( .§olzooloIMM.§ ou-er tlzeta.§t ten e;ear.§. go/Me ~rthe Pain During the summer of 1985 the first issue of Manna for the Journey arrived. During those years I sought all the helpful resources I could find. I was filled with confusion and pain as I faced the wrenching dissolution of a twenty-five year marriage. I feared rejection by my children and disgrace in my local church. I was terrified by imagining being fired at work. This was a dreadful period in my life in which I faced the reality: I am a gay man. Friendships developed to sustain me and gave me the strength to become a sustainer of others facing similar problems. My journey toward wholeness continues. I credit Open Hands as a very valuable resource that I have used and shared. Diok B urdo-n t"J> aolerge; mem6er oltlze Drego-n -0dalzo-Conferenoe o-Itlze United 1rletlzodc"J>t C lzumlz o-n Izo-nora6le locatio-n. Rtor to-Ieau-tng tlze aoitiJ-e mtnt"J>tre;, Ize .§eru-ed a.§ a United 1rletlzodc"J>t mt"J>.§ionare; to-Brazt! and Zaire, a.§ wella.§ tado-r olu-ariou.§ localoo-ngregatiom tn izt"J> Conferenoe. f..Ie t"J> ourrentle; amem6er o-Itlze B oard 01Cizurciz and [;Jociete; fa reoo-nOl!cng 60ard) and amem6er 01 (AiUiJ-er.§ite; Park United 1rletlzodat Clzumlz fa reoo-nOl!cng oo-ngregatio-n/ 17{f 1rlatter the 7dle, gtill 1rlanna Growing up, everything I learned of faith, I tried to deal with as I was able a the time. It made for some interesting stories . Sunday School teachers struggling to teach could not seem to understand my concerns. I did not. I just knew something was tragically wrong with the way we ac~ out our faith. As a child, I could not e>_plain my feeling. Now, older, I try. I was waiting for Manna for the Jou.: ney/Open Hands. In a way, the theft " the original title is symbolic of what I a ways knew was a perversion of the gospel spirit. From the first issue, I have thanked the Lord and prayed for your prophetic witness. I have often used stor'es from your journal in my sermons. Fo ks who might never have heard truth spoke with your open tones have been deep""; touched in spirit by your word and world. I am privileged to be allowed to contribute my small gifts to an endeavor so filled with courage, compassion, and faith. No matter the title, your journal has ever been manna for my journey, a manna I try to share. -Allan A . 1rlifJhaud 1rlanna When 1rlr Chumh Jatfed 1rle I first subscribed to Open Hands a few years after learning that one of my daughters .s lesbian. It was a lonely confusing time for me. There was little information available 0 homosexuality and most of it was negative. It was the first time my church failed me _ time of need. To have such a resource was truly "manna for my journey." It helped me my journey of understanding, acceptance, and love-not just of my daughter, but of all H. gay and lesbian sisters and brothers. It helped move me from a parent in the closet to ~ activist. Open Hands today remains a primary resource for me. The personal stories cor. tinually rekindle my calling to be a voice for those who are unable to speak for themselves The articles expand my knowledge and provide inspiration. It is an excellent resource: r those who are tired of the "party line" spread by "Christians." I often recommend it .. those seeking a broader pOint of view, especially parents who have gay or lesbian childre~ dr.! l/enner t"J> tlze mo-tlzer 01tlzree, grandmotlzer o-Ilour, a local P7.d!A Q oo-nu-ener, a Ia!( leader at J ift! United 1rletlzodc"J>t Clzumlz tn Bur!cngto-n, l/ermont, andtart oltlze .§tea/zer';' 6ureau 01 Dutrtgltt l/ernwnt on organization Ib-rgae; and1e.§6ian e;o-utlz/ 20 Open Hands ~ 'PI l/oloe from the C!o-~et a gay man who is an elder in the .:ethodist church. Therefore I ask . name not be used. I first subMannafor the Journey because ember of Affirmation and wanted up with all that was going on in ch and with what was going on .. friends. I also wanted to receive port of welcoming United Meth!'lurches. Open Hands has influ.r:lY faith journey mostly by giving ngth and courage, through knowthere are others on the same jour15 especially important now with .: wing at work both in church and -AnOftt;mo-u.g ~ndJ 9u~talnlng, 11urturlng 5,'0{. roe 01~nlb-rmatlo-n en Hands, from its beginnings to resent collaboration with other denations committed to inclusiveness, been a sustaining, nurturing source e.pful information. It is not possible to se a favorite issue. We read them, e them, and are indebted to them as o what Mel calls our primary avoca....'1 retirement, which is to work and for the day when all churches and agogues will be truly inclusive. ~'n Wizeatlet; c'.g aretc'red Bt'S'lzo-fl o/tlze Uuted 'izodift Cizuraiz. I-Ie and .;;:t:u(Jc'!e Izal}-e tlzree tk t;o-unge.gt 0-/wlzo-mcfo-Izn, .glzaredlze'S' .game:"~' eI1tate(}n wdlz tlzem c'n Decem6er / () 72 c,. ,,~ then, tlzer Izave wo-rkedI'o-r o-flen and aI//:rm·(UlOft.g amOftggar andMn-gat; fler.go-n.g c'nNde llrclz M we!! M o-ut. 1rluclz o-/tlzec'r c'nvd~IhM 6een wdlz P7.;;:t:,Aq a.g a memo-redtowho-deedOft 1rlarclz 2 I, / () g4 '1lffier 1995 A l/oloe fro-m the C!o-~et When I first subscribed to Manna for the Journey (predecessor to Open Hands), Iwas both deep in the closet and a church professional. In fact, this was the first publication related to homosexuality I had the courage to subscribe to. I felt it was "safe" since it had a "church" connection. Very quickly, Open Hands became the one solid and reliable, yet not overly scholarly, publication I read regularly. It helped me know that it was okay to be gay, in the church, and employed by the church-all at once. It also helped me know that in all these respects I was not alone. I have so appreciated both the biblical/theological resources and the liturgical/worship resources this publication has provided over the years. The former have deepened my understanding of what the Bible and our Christian heritage and tradition have said on homosexuality and related issues . The latter have helped me personally to feel affirmed in my spiritual journey as a male in the church who is both ordained and gay. I believe more strongly now than ever that God created me as I am, that all of God's creation is good, and that I am God's child and fully a member of God's family. At the same time, I have never been part of a mainline congregation that accepted me as I really am. Unfortunately, that has happened only in my MCC congregation. Nevertheless, I journey on, more and more certain that God loves me completely-regardless of what my church says. -A nOftt;mo-u.g Provides R~(}{jfo~ Ib-r oar Ongo-lng IJrlllU'gtrl~ When Open Hands first came out, we had just moved from a church which was a Reconciling Congregation to a church we were sure had never heard of the idea. We needed this magazine to keep us in touch with the ongoing struggles against homophobia and to nourish us with hope in the future. When our new church began to study the issues of heterosexism in 1987, the magazine became a crucial resource to those persons advocating for RC status. Since our church declared being a ReconCiling Congregation in 1988, Open Hands has become a sustaining irifluence and a breath of fresh air to the gay men and lesbians, bisexual folks, and straight persons who have joined the circle of inclusivity. q reg andcfade De!!!l~ [n Oak Park, -5)!!tiwc'S', wlzere qreg e'S' flMto-r at 8uc!td ,A~ue Unded 1rletlzo-dc'S't Cizuraiz. flu'S' .gummer tlzet; mwe to8 ro-adwat; U1rlC, a /2eMnceir.'n.g COftgregate{}n [n CIz[cago-. THE WHEATLEY TEAM: Lucile and Mel pose for a friend. 'Photo: Dana Nye 21 I was first drawn to the Reconciling Congregation Program out of a faith commitment to justice; excluding lesbigays from full participation in the life of the church just wasn't fair. The testimonies and articles in Open Hands have broadened my understanding to focus not only on justice, but also to witness to RCP as a faithful response to Christ's God. I always learn a new slant or insight from Open Hands. It is a nudge to "keep on keepin' on." Qlurle!( D are c'~ alzac'ro/tlze 60-ardo-Itlze natc'o-nal Reao-nac'!c'ng C ongregatc'o-n Rogratn. Olfer tlze I(ear~, ~Ize IzM ~erlfedo-n ~el/eralMnierenae and natc'o-nal60-arcfg M(Jart 0-1Izer I~tnt'nc'~trl(. j An 8fl/Jt/Ot'o-jJedla 0/~fllo-rmatlon I have always had concern for the rights of gays and lesbians. I was living in a very conservative community and wanted a resource that kept me in touch with the current issues and was a good resource to share with people when they raised questions about sexuality and the Bible and/or theology. Open Hands has served as that resource for me. Open Hands is a resource-like an encyclopedia-on an issue which my denomination continues to debate. Because my church and others know I work with those living with HIVIAIDS, they approach me when they feel dis-ease with the church's discussions around sexuality and ask if I have resources to help others grasp why all people are acceptable to God and in the community of faith. Usually an issue of Open Hands is among the resources I share. A!c'()e Ann Qlen t'S a Untied 1rletlzodM dt:aMnaltnt'nt'Ster wlzo-t'S a Clzrc'S/c'an eduaato-r andMntract wrtier Ib-r tlze U1rlC. Qlze Izo-(JM to-6e re-electedto-Qeneral Co-nierenae ~o-~Ize aan aMt Izer wtM Ib-r t'naluNl/enM~. RMoamM lOr a Conlerenoe 9taltAr.2()-fl The Massachusetts Conference of the United Church of Christ voted eleven years ago to become an open and affirming (ONA) Conference one year before the General Synod of the UCC voted a similar action. Our ONA Task Force works to increase awareness of the issues surrounding gay, lesbian, and bisexual concerns; . provides resources to local congregations , to become Open and Affirming churches; and provides support networks for churches that have voted to become ONA congregations. As the staff person to this task force, I have found Open Hands to be an invaluable resource as I work to support this important ministry of our Conference. Since each issue focuses on a specific area of concern, I have also found it to be readily accessible to our pastors and lay leaders. Thank you for a resource that empowers me and the local congregations of our Conference. Qu~an P Dt'()!zertnan t'S tlze a~~Mc'ate Mnierenae tnt'nt'Ster Ib-r /Mal Cizuraiz /tie and R enewalo-I tlze 1rla~~aalzu~etb Co-nierenae 0/ tlze Unt'ted Cizuraiz 0-1 Clzrc'St. 9jJeakng flfld W()-r~lztp l-lelp~ I first subscribed to Open Hands probably because I got a flyer in the mail! I was doing some public speaking as the parent of a gay man and author of My Son Eric and Coming Out to Parents. Since a good bit of this speaking was to religious groups, I felt that Open Hands would be helpful to me. A year and a half ago I started a lesbigay group (Sanctuary) in the Moravian Church. For many meetings we have written or put together our own liturgies and have found Open Hands very helpful. Open Hands is definitely a quality magazine, both in appearance and content. You have survived and thrived for ten years, and gotten better and better. May your twenty-year anniversary find the magazine maintaining its high standard and ministering to a community that has been fully embraced by the Christian church. 1rlarl( '&o-rlzelz!ci;-M t'n '&etlzlelzetn, Penn~l(lv-anc'a Open Hands 22 v~qet gtarted -' nerous friend gave me a one-year jon that started with the first isave renewed every year since. I "e volume 1, number 1 with the mside!By way of unsolicited teslet me say unequivocally that ,0 other magazine to which I have ibed for ten uninterrupted years. .e other magazine comes close. I put it aside to read when I have as I do other very, very good publi-. When it arrives, I read it-and I e children and family issues I use a'1d again since I work in ministries dren and families . I am also part of :ssue enant study group on the United ~".hodist Study on Homosexuality and ound the Summer 1993 issue on cal Interpretation: Beyond Judgment 'e" especially helpful. Because of al concerns about the activities of eilgious right, I often reread the Fall on "Responding to the Right: egies for Change."Every issue brings , . articles, such as Lindsay Biddle's .... uilding a Liberating Bible Study into •.1inistry" (Fall 1994) which we have ill our covenant study group. ilfn C}at.m, an afJieil'e IflfjlJ)()-man oltlze 8 altc-WM/zmgton COfllerenoe oIthe Unded 1rlethC/zurch, oIzacrs the ()(}n/'erenoe ()(}mmdtee o-n D 5)/II-!J l/ 1Y!cncS'trtes and IJ)()-rM 1'0-1' the "().n, cnIJ'oilJ'ement, and emflo-werment o-llat( (tz(Jludcng oIzcidren. 5)he trt'e.S' to-Icil'e the'S ou.t ruown. oIzeldren andgrandohc!dren. ~rlART£,R SUBSCRIBER: Carolyn Gause uses Open Hands often in her . arious loy ministries. ummer 1995 1rIaturfnj R~oart)~ Ib-r a 1rlr.-xed 1rlr.nt".2trtl I originally subscribed because I was buttonholed at our 1985 Annual Conference by the late Reverend Bert All. I wanted to support my friend, Bert, so I signed up and gave him ten bucks. Frankly I was disappointed with those first issues, mostly because they seemed to be centered around the theme of "Isn't it wonderful that we're gay/lesbian -and, oh, yes, we happen to be Christian and United Methodist." As a "straight" man, I was not reached by liturgies which celebrated "our gayness." I thought those writing the magazine articles had their priorities backward. Aren't we, first of all, Christians? I didn't renew. Two years later I became pastor of Crescent Heights United Methodist Church. As a Reconciling Congregation, we got copies of Open Hands. Some of the articles were beginning to change their focus, although the liturgies still suggested "Isn't it wonderful we're gay?" Ten years later, I am grateful for the maturing of Open Hands and the Reconciling Congregation Program. It provides me with much needed resources for my very mixed church. 'Jo.m C}rtlllih Icires Cn West lIollt({JJ{){}(/, C alclomca. Ecumenical Ties That Bond 1)1atura/ltl ReMlunj Out United Methodist minister, Perry Wiggins, gave me my first subscription. He knew I would find it helpful in my ministry at West Hollywood Presbyterian Church, a largely gay and lesbian congregation. When my first issue arrived, I was so impressedand envious-that United Methodists had such a fine publication to support their reconciling congregations. Open Hands displays uncommon integrity by all the connections it makes among vital church concerns: feminism, worship, racial diversity, evangelism, disability issues, peacemaking, cultural sensitivity, prayer, the poor, social justice, the family, same-gender marriages, Christian education, and sexual orientations. As a Presbyterian, I am grateful to feel yet more a part of the Open Hands family since it has officially become ecumenical. On all my speaking trips I carry subscription forms and urge people to sign on.Sometimes I do it so fervently I have to add a disclaimer that I receive no kickback for my endorsement! Chrt'S C}IMere'S the autho-r01 flze W o-rd ,,9s Out (a daclt( c!eIJ'{)o{COflal) F/egenttnj a United -:h(}flt When I received my first issue of Manna for the Journey as a courtesy from Mark Bowman, I was intrigued by the unusual name. I was the first director (1984-1990) of the Reconciled in Christ Program for Lutherans Concerned and in those days any form of inspiration and support was badly needed. I was impressed by the decision for the magazine to become ecumenical and present a united front to our respective church bodies. That was an important move forward in the ministry. -Ro-se 5)mdh, 11o-rth lIollt(~ Calr./Mnca qreettnj~ I am very proud that the United Methodists have developed such an excellent and beautifully designed magazine on behalf of the whole ecumenical community. cfeanne ./ludrq Po-wers 23 We were so pleased when Open Hands became ecumenical, as that reflects our relationship to various churches seeking to be welcoming of all persons. With the closing of Capitol Hill UMC in Seattle, Mary's focus shifted back to University Congregational United Church of Christ. The ONA journey there led to the call of David Shull and Peter llgenfritz as their associate pastor team (see story, Winter 1995, page 15). Families have questioned: how do we talk to our kids about Dave and Peter? Well, there are five issues of Open Hands to help us! 1r'Iart( .f...I. Do-ughertl( t:r a retired so-(){al wo-rker and R eah Sl. Do-ughertl( is a retired United 1r'IethodMjJaswr. O.f.lIJ7ol flet Pull( 8oumenloal In the beginning I was under the impression that Open Hands would be ecumenical. On those grounds we subscribed for a year. I became aware that there was never ever mention of Roman Catholic issues, projects, or programs. When someone gave us a gift subscription a year or so ago, I found the same lack of any mention of Roman Catholic events or activities. It definitively serves those churches and denominations listed in the journal and this is fair enough. You can't do it all! However, I still find the conspicuous absence of a Roman Catholic perspective disturbing. R0-6ert 17ugent is a oo--I'o-under o-I'the Ro-tnan Catholio 17ew Wal(s 1Ylinistrl( in 1r'It. Rainier, 1r'Iarl(land. HOW CAN I HELP YOU? Mary responds to one of numerous calls. Photo: Dolly Pomer/ean Rowlng t4~tream 'logether Open Hands caught my attention as a well written, on target, religious publication dealing with vital issues in a thoughtful, stylish way. As a Roman Catholic I found some of the in-house issues slightly foreign (when would we ever have a lesbian District Superintendent or a General Conference at which lay people discussed policy), but invariably the . lives, commitment, and talent of the writers brought me along. I have read'Open Hands steadily over the years, more than I can say for other denominational materials, many subscriptions of which I let lapse due to terminal boredom. I often wonder why any of us still bother with most institutional churches given the dismal track record most have earned on lesbian/gay/bisexualltransgendered/questioning issues. However, Open Hands always reminds me that there are people within those same institutions who are rowing upstream, well accompanied by justice-seekers of all stripes. Those people renew my hope on a regular basis. I am grateful to Open Hands for a decade of stellar service. Ad multos anos. 1r'Iarl( 8. /-.Iunt is a!etninist theo-!Ojean {n the wo-tnan -ohurch tradr:t{D-n andM-dr:reato-r oIthe Wo-tnen ~ Allanoe I'o-r flzeo-!Ojl(1 8thioS and latual fWA78Rhn SNlJ'er Sl/Jrt'ng, 1r'Iarl(land. Wh4 We First Subscribed JO-r flze%gloal RelletJtlOll When I first heard about Open Hands, I was thrilled to hear about other gay Christians. I was glad to have theological reflection done from a gay perspective. Qtt'na Po-jJe, 8jJt'S'MjJaljJrt'estl c'S' ourrentll( the Mstdant at Slt. eartho-/o-tnew ~, agal(-i'riendll( jJart'S'h t'n Atlanta. Qtt'na andherjJartneroleiglZtl(earsl Que flzo-tnjJSD-n, are M-jJarentt'ng two-So-n.f wtih the ohtfdren ~ I'ather andht'S' Wtl'e, :JOr COIlneetlon Why? WHY? I, the only gay United Methodist in the whole Hawaii District? No one to talk to, but I could read, couldn't I? Why subscribe? Did I have a choice? -7red12 1r'Iethered :JOr Mit In Utzder~tandtilg I cannot remember all of the reasons... I was looking for help in understanding why so many churches, who by their very nature are called to stand for inclusion of all who seek God's love, instead present walls and exclusion and hurt to some of those very seekers. R uth .;;t:. WaltD-n t'S' a retired United 1r'IethodM diaco-naltnt'nt'S'ter who-has Io-ng 6een active t'n SMeal oo-noerns t'S'SUe.f. JO-r Co-nttiluec/ A.waren~~ I knew little or nothing about homosexuality or bisexuality prior to 1972. It was at that General Conference, which I attended as a visitor, that my consciousness raising began. It has become increasingly clear to me that our sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. We are who we are and God created each of us good. I first subscribed to Open Hands to learn and to be supportive of what I now know as the les/bi/gay community. The magazine continues to inform and inspire me and I am grateful for that. -qera!dr.'ne g I-Iet!man, Awt'S'6u'!Jl Pennsl(ban{a 24 Open Hands .~Jilt; da(){)-rtte -!9S'S'ue ? The current one. Why? Each issue seems to outdo the last! ...."', ..,,........ ,',. ".Ro-S'e SJmt't1z c"S' tlze /J.rS>t rlcreato-r 0-1 ReOO-f1Otled [n Clzre"S't, I gg>4-1 ggO .;;/?utlzerarzS' Co-noemedl 11o-rtlz Amer[aa. <";>I!J!I, _______.-____.-__.1 ui /ding Reeo-tw{icng 1rlcn{S'tn"eS' favorite issue of Open Hands is ding Reconciling Ministries" (Spring and my favorite article in that issue is T 'lelcome Place: Biblical Hospitality for ans and Gay Men" by Stephen Gre=have found many opportunities to use :ssue and article in sermons and Bible . in workshops and presentations on sexuality and in the two churches e I helped start the process of explor-Oflelion -l-IarriS', f1aS'l/ze BS'taoada and ;gS'ff/e oo-ngregafioflS' [n ~on--SdaJzo-.Annual ~EJlOe, Unt'ted 1rletlzChurch, [S' marr[ed arzd er oItlzree olztldren. I guess my favorite issues I gave away! f?c!! .;;/?as'lzer c"S' af1Mto-r, genera! agenal( rlcredo-r, f1arent, Io-rmer mo-unta[n oIim6er arzd !o-ng-rlc"S'tarzae klter,-n01.U 1z00rS'e o-wner arzd tratlrelier. Peo-pie 01CoiorlE/t"S'eKuaictt;Itjoath My favorite issues include: minorities/people of color (Spring 1987)-so few things like it are available; bisexual issue (Fall 1991); and the youth issue (Winter 1991). Keep those special topics coming! Jarz qrieS'[ngerc"S' arz orda[ned U C C m[m"S'ier, rlcrector01Uncted Camf1uS' 1rlcnc"S'ter at Olzc"o-UnciJ-erS't't1( cn AtlzenS' arzdnatc"o-na!oo-o-rrlcnato-r I'o-r tlze U C C.;;/?/ qC. RtLL"S'lng Reeo-no{icng Chlldren The issue on Raising Reconciling Children-because we helped in recruiting writ-ers and organizing the issue with worship Imaterials and games. O -Ii -'tC"S' ,../lzo-tnfS'o-n arzd qeo-rge e0-6, Clzc()ago-E/t6ic"(!ai -!9nterpretat{o'fl and damtlt; l/aiueS' "Biblical Interpretation: Beyond Judg• and 51eiuai -!9dentttt;: 17ew {/c"S'taS' ment to Love" (Summer 1993) was helpful -eral years ago you published an issue with a photo of some in explaining those often quoted passages nagers on the cover (Winter 1991). Their struggle-which in the Bible. I used it in a class and for work_'non to all gay teens-resonates deeply within me. I purshops I have done. "Rethinking Familyseveral copies to give away to pastors in my area, in hopes Values"(Spring 1993) was invaluable in giv~ehowtheir hearts might also be touched in a meaningful ing me information and better preparing me to respond to those who hear the cliches -P!ZC!f(J qtlmarz, ::Treelzo-ld, 11ewJerS'ec; batted around. ~ kiridLng! uldn't possibly choose one isr :en-they are all unique! -SJlzcrlet; Dare, -S!uno-c"S' -.;;£c! l/enner, eurungto-n, lIermo-nt J{L(){)-rtte Artl"(!ie One of the most memorable issues for us was "Responding to the Right: Strategies for Change" (Fall 1993) which contained a story by John Sumwalt titled "Anniversary." With Pastor Sumwalt's permission we have distributed thousands of copies of the story. It tells how a congregation begins to change its attitude about homosexuality when two of its active mernbers-"bachelors" sharing a farm house togetherinvite the congregation to a celebration of their "fiftieth anniversary" in the church social hall. cfo-Izn arzd Pat SJolzw[e6ert, 1rletarzola Peace Co-mmumtl( U1rlC Chumh o-n aJoamet; toward 51eKuai -!9noiuS'{()-{tt; My favorite issue is the most recent one, "Church on a Journey toward Sexual Inclusivity," (Winter 1995). Excellent! Good art, good writing, focused on local church. JerrI( Carter, age 83, t"S' tlze f1Mtor 01qrace Unt'ted 1rletlzo-rlc"S't Cizurciz tn SJaratoga, Ca!ci'om[a, lzuS'6arzdol SJara, latlzer o-l1rlar[arz arzd A!!en, arzdgrarzdlatlzer 01Cattun. mmer 1995 25 In Days to CorneA litany for Advent by Ann B. Day Voice I: In days to come, God shall teach us and lead us in the paths of peace;~ " Then we shall beat swords into plowshares; and spears into pruni,ng hooks. Voice II: Human hands and human hearts are full of swords. We wield them against the bodies and souls of one another.~ o,#,',); All: Domestic violence and gay bashing, child abuse and eConomic injustice, Voice I: All: Voice II: Voice I: Voice II: All: Voice I: rac ial strife and war. These are swordsjl hat wound and kill. f--But in days to come, if we are willing10 learn, God,shall' teach us peace! P){ , Merciful God, forgive us the harm ~e have done, the alienation we too easily ,_ accept. Show us the healing and reconciliation we. might ~.ring about. Nurtu~~' in us a longing for true peace. I-Ia~len the day when lYe sriall not lift up our f+: swords or learn of war any mpre. ~ , In days to come, the wolf shan nte with the lamb ...lhe cowcfuand the bear sh,all graze, and their young sha!'4ne(do~n t~~ether;jfiltt1aysto ~ome., waters wi'j~ break forth in the wilderneSs and s~,~e1fus flow in'theJjesert. ' c ", ' walk ,tiEt~6IY@Wa~. tog~m,~r and §orrow '~4\"-'~;;lf;:-~':f-, -}f:i? & /if} Sisters and brothers. can ~u ~~ine"UCWa~r!~ of grace ~d~atm(jn~? Trusting in God, we can! Everi'~ow:,' "t~,.1-led by the Spirit, we seek to tie' ~ca~in where hope encourages, faith sY;$tai'ns d*love.ulJ~!es; where peace is the gift we receive ~nd peace i~Jhe'giJt we give!, . lt4L -:=:;{"'-' ki,f -The chorr or asoloist shall sing the verse of "0 Come, 0 Come, Emma~~el" which begins "0 Come, Desire of nations... " (trans. by Henry S. Coffin). All: Beckoning God, we rejOice in the days to which you call us, days without swords or warfare, days when creation shall dwell in peace, days when Emmanuel shall be our delight and our guide. Blessed be your holy name, today and in all the days to come! Amen. 26 Note The litany is based on the Isaiah texts (NRSV) for the Sundays in Advent. Year A It may be reprinted for local worship events, giving the author credit Other uses require her permission, Ann B. Day is coordinator of the Open andAffirming Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Open Hands Contact Edito" RCe 3801 N. Keele" Chicago, IL 60641, 312/736-5526 er 1995 27 \/InJ. On Challenges Ahead -e look to the future, Mark Bowman, publisher of Open Hands, I have identified these five major challenges. onding to a Maturing Movement .:!\.S the welcoming movement matures, the needs of churches expand. One emerging situation was stated by a subscriber: r congregation has grown to the point where nobody, and I an NOBODY, cares whether any person is single or married; 'an, gay, or straight. Orientation has ceased to be an issue." . will Open Hands respond to new situations? viding Spiritual Sustenance Several times since becoming editor, I have encountered the ptation Mark described on page 5 of wanting Open Hands to lesbigay Christian magazine to nourish personal faith jour. Lately, that temptation has taken a broader tum. Our readare not only newly-out lesbigay Christians estranged from their "ch roots; they are also long-time-out lesbigay Christians who severed church connections. They are families of lesbigay .~tians whose churches are not welcoming of them either. They as several subscribers noted) the lone voices of lonely justice -j"ers in the wildernesses of rural areas, states with few welng churches, and conservative enclaves everywhere. Open cis is the only positive Christian connection for many readers. role can it play in providing spiritual sustenance? 'eloping Financial Self-Suffiency •. , the forefront of the mind of every publisher is the financial nance of the magazine. Mark notes: .1e goal of financial self-sufficiency for Open Hands has ded us for ten years. Subscriptions and related revenue .-e steadily increased, but expenses of maintaining a highality magazine have increased accordingly. Only the genous gifts of the friends of Open Hands and Reconciling ngregations have kept the magazine in business. This ubsidy" (about $30,000 last year) is greatly needed in other CP ministries. Until we get Open Hands closer to financial Call forA Spring ('!jeen (;-land! timacy: Redefining Relationships self-sufficiency, the RCP board must continually weigh the financial needs of Open Hands against needs in other areas of the RCP. Making Open Hands self-sufficient will require the experience and wisdom of many of us to spark a creative solution. Expanding the Ecumenical Circle While our initial ecumenical expansion of Open Hands has been successful, it is still in its infancy. Our focus is clear: we seek to provide resources for welcoming churches and other groups who are engaging in ministries that welcome all persons, especially sexual minority persons and their families. However, our structure and process need further refining if we are to expand our circle. Six questions for the future: 1) Is it desirable/possible to move into a more equal partnership among the four programs currently cooperatively publishing Open Hands? When and how? 2) How can we incorporate newer welcoming programs into the Open Hands family before they are able to become full partners in our publishing venture? 3) What role can Open Hands play for welcoming ministries in church traditions where there are no national welcoming program structures? What might it look like for these ministries to participate in the Open Hands process? 4) How will we continue to provide a truly representative diversity of voices as our circle expands? 5) What does the development of "welcoming" programs outside the U.S.A. imply for Open Hands? 6) How will we respond to the tension between the desirability of an ecumenical publication and the need for editorial focus and fiscal accountability? Balancing Change and Continuity Change is necessary-even exciting and desirable-if Open Hands is to grow. Yet, as editor I must facilitate change in a such a way that you, the readers, know both that something new has happened and that it is still the same magazine you love and value. An Invitation Your input on these five challenges is critical. You-the readers, resource users, leaders, and participants-are our "fingers on the pulse" of the movement. Let us hear from you. --7f1.~~DsL~t.;.,____ Introducing our New Welcoming Churches We welcome these twenty-five new churches which have joined our growing grassroots movement in recent months. ~'YA'YA'Y~ ~'Y.'Y.'YM OPEN ~ AffiRMING ~ lii!i L OPEN AND AFFIRMING Bethel Congregational Church, UCC White Salmon, Washington Located in the mid-Columbia Gorge, this rural church of 70 members tak~s as its mission, lito make known the risen Christ among all people." Through youth and support groups, the congregation provides expanding opportunities to deepen fellowship and increase outreach to the community. It offers meeting space for children's play groups and for organizations addressing a variety of issues, including sexual abuse. Its outreach committee is working to identify new ways that the church can put its ONA commitment into practice. Brookemeade Congregational Church, UCC Nashville, Tennessee A congregation with an active urban/suburban ministry, Brookemeade's 160 members come from all around the city. The church, which describes itself as an "Open and Affirming, inclusive and diverse community" is completing a "Just Peace" study process. That and its ONA commitment express the congregation's desire to be a welcoming and justice-seeking faith community. Among the congregation's community activities are its support for Nashville Cares (an HIV/AIDS service group) and the local Metropolitan Community Church, and efforts to form a chapter of the Interfaith Alliance, an alternative voice to the religious right. Brown Deer UCC Brown Deer, Wisconsin A "warm and welcoming" church in suburban Milwaukee, Brown Deer's 100 members maintain a strong, diverse mission program which provides food for a local pantry, paper goods for a safe house for battered women, and quilts for atrisk babies at an area hospital. "Positive Parenting," a weekly parenting skills group which meets at the church, also offered an eight-week session at an area elementary school. The church's pastor serves on the Wisconsin Conference's Accompaniment Committee, which addresses gay/lesbian issues, and on the Milwaukee public schools' Gay/Lesbian Task Force. Clackamas UCC Milwaukie, Oregon A suburban congregation outside Portland, this lOa-member faith community is observing its looth anniversary year. The big celebration in September will offer music, picnics, and programs to honor the church's life and mission. An ONA and Just Peace church, Clackamas is involved in a variety of social justice concerns. Church members march in the Gay Pride Parade and participate in the Just Peace Fair held in downtown Portland. It also offers a "Moms and More" support group which includes heterosexual and lesbian mothers. Claremont UCC, Congregational Claremont, California Located next to the colleges and School of Theology in Claremont, this growing congregation of 1,250 draws members from thirteen municipalities of Los Angeles and San Bernadino counties. The church recently completed a capital fund drive, "Strengthening our Ministry: Mission, Mortar and Music." They happily report exceeding their goal of $1.65 million. For five years, the congregation has offered IIAnother Voice," a support/social/advocacy group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons and friends. It, too, is growing! Community Congregational UCC Pullman, Washington A small-town congregation of 243 members, Community Congregational is located in the southeast corner of Washington on the Idaho border. Its strong social action program includes a thrift shop which supports a variety of community service projects as well as activities in the church. The church's ongoing ONA witness is guided by the Board of Deacons. The congregation looks forward to welcoming a new pastor in July. Community of Hope UCC Madison, Wisconsin An urban congregation in ecumenical partnership with a Lutheran (ELCA) congregation, this 100-member church has a tradition of social justice ministry. It is presently revising its mission goals to express its role, as a faith community, in addressing concerns such as violence in the city. The ONA Committee continues to help the congregation develop this aspect of its ministry. Current topics include ONA publicity and the possibility of offering a gay/lesbian/bisexual support group. Community UCC Champaign, Illinois Located on the campus of the University of Illinois, Community UCC houses the only full-time uee campus ministry in the country. Realizing that mission and mortar go together, the 250 active members of this church recently undertook a capital campaign to raise funds to extensively renovate their well-used building. Having exceeded their goal, they plan to repair the roof and exterior of the church, and improve their parlor, fellowship hall, and educational space. The church has Open Hands 28 de space available for area gay/lesbian meetings and reaches t to gay/lesbian/bisexual groups on the campus as well. den UCC -ayward, California Eden is the oldest church in Hayward, a city of 70,000, which part of the East Bay of San Francisco. In an ecumenical spirit, 's 2S0-member faith community provides worship space for :en other congregations! When calling its new pastor retly, the congregation described itself as wishing to continue adition of being IIChrist-centered, theologically liberal, and .ssion-oriented." As part of its programs for education and rture, the church is offering a class on Borg's book, Meeting Again for the First Time, which has been well received. irst Church in Windsor '1dsor, Connecticut A suburban congregation of 1,100 members, First Church a very strong sense of the inward reflection and outward ring that constitute the life of faith. The congregation seeks move IIsomewhere new" in response to its understandings . spirituality and social concern. It continues to have an ac.-;e ONA Committee and members will carry a banner in the :ea Gay Ptide Parade. First Church is also featured in a new k, Congregation: The Journey Back to Church by Gary Dorsey. irst Church of Christ, UCC artford, Connecticut Originating in Massachusetts in 1632, the congregation oved to Connecticut under the leadership of Pastor Thomas ooker. There it became the state's founding church in 1636. ~'diverse and receiving" faith community from the start, the .00 members of this urban II Center Church" continue that :-adition. They are currently in the third year of a strategic anning process intended to make the church's structure more sponsive to its pluralistic membership and more effective in utreach. The church hosted an ecumenical AIDS Healing Serce and members participate in Gay Pride Day. irst Congregational Church erkeley, California As the first church built in Berkeley (1874), this congregan has a long history of preaching and presence in the city. 700 members are in a time of exciting transition as lIold es way for new" in many areas of church life. Activity is parent everywhere as many members prepare for the VCC's eneral Synod meeting this summer in nearby Oakland. The urch is also conducting two staff searches: Associate Pastor :1d Music Director. It has a gay/lesbian/bisexual concerns roup called AGLOW (Affirming Gays and Lesbians in Our :orld) and will be sponsoring two AIDS benefit services in eptember. irst Congregational Church 'verside, California The first church in the downtown area, this faith commu.tity of 300 members and friends is endeavoring to continue ninistry in its present setting. This is a financial challenge ...nce extensive earthquake retrofitting is required to meet state ~ tandards for a public building. The church wishes to carryon Summer 1995 its urban outreach, which includes providing a hot meal to 200 people each week. The congregation is supporting an ecumenical conversation about ways to increase tolerance in the high schools and has just begun a gay/lesbian/bisexual support group in the church. They are also engaged in a pastoral search process. First Congregational Church, UCC Salem, Oregon For over 140 years, this 400-member, historic downtown church has addressed lithe issues of the day" -from abolition to gay/lesbian/bisexual concerns. It is involved in community activities, including Habitat for Humanity, and offers meeting space for a variety of social concerns organizations. The church's monthly gay/lesbian/bisexual support group meets to explore the connections between spirituality and sexuality. LiberationUCC Cleveland, Ohio Not quite two years old, this ISO-member VCC congregation, serving the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community of Cleveland, is Open and Affirming to heterosexual people, too. Believing that lithe spirituality of the gospel is perceived and expressed through social justice," Liberation is an activist church. It provides food and clothing for the Cleveland AIDS Housing Council, participates in the G/L/B Pride activities, and offers Liberation Women's Spirituality and Gay/Lesbian Parents groups. For the past year, the church has been deepening GATHERED IN SPIRIT GAINING IN STRENGTH A NATIONAL ONA EXULTATION October 13-15, 1995 Members of Open and Affirming (ONA) churches in the UCC, churches exploring the ONA process, and friends from other welcoming programs will gather in Cleveland, Ohio, to rejoice in our shared witness to God's love for all people-lesbian, bisexual, gay, and straight. To register, contact: ONA-UCCL/GC P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 0 1520·0403 508/856-9316 (Sponsored by: The ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns.) 29 ........-,. its relationship with Chevrei Tikva, an area gay/lesbian synagogue. The two congregations have attended each other's services and visited the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. Plans are underway for more Jewish-Christian dialogue opportunities. Macalester Plymouth United Church st. Paul, Minnesota Adjacent to Macalester College, the 500 members of this UCC and Presbyterian USA congregation come from the immediate neighborhood and the wider urban area. The church seeks to honor the corporate mission of both denominations. It is "fairly liberal theologically, strongly committed to social witness, and intensely focused on personal spirituality." Numerous persons from the church have entered the professional ministry. The church recently raised funds to help purchase one hundred acres of land for campesino farmers in Guatemala. It is implementing its ONNMore Light stance by asking all church committees to be mindful of its implications in their work. Suquamish Community Congregational Church Suquamish, Washington This 2S0-member congregation, northwest.of Seattle, is very involved in community issues including public education, relations with local Native American Indians, and combating racism. The church has a multi-dimensional ministry of hospitality: "Called to Care" helps connect people who are ill or grieving with those who have similar experiences; "Helping Hand" offers a variety of everyday assistance-like putting up a shelf where you need it; the "Reunion" program seeks to reunite inactive members with the congregation. The church provides space for a gay/lesbian teen support group and church members plan to participate in the Conference's weekend for gay/lesbian/bisexual people and their families. United Church of Santa Fe Santa Fe, New Mexico This IIexceptionally warm and welcoming" city church of 164 members and friends celebrated its 15th birthday in worship on May 21. During a special reception after the service, the church highlighted important events in their history together and the ways in which they have served the local area and the world. At their May 25 annual meeting the congregation gathered for a "ceremonial circle" bonfire and burned two mortgages! Birthday festivities also included an art show where members and friends exhibited sculpture, weaving, and other works. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on page 3. Clinton-Camanche Subgroup of Iowa MFSA Clinton, Iowa This community of 17 laypersons, founded on a liberation theology base, has met for fourteen years without a clergyperson. The community meets semimonthly for worship where all members share the tasks of presenting a message, leading study, and making organizational decisions. This subgroup of the Methodist Federation for Social Action is supportive of labor and other peace and justice concerns, contributing both financially and with actions. During 1994 they supported the annual Martin Luther King Jr. celebration, Gateway Peace Council, conference MFSA retreats, Partnership Way, and the local NAACP. Members report that their RC decision, made after much study, discussion, and prayer, was their "biggest step forward" last year. Grace UMC Saratoga, California Located in the Silicon Valley about an hour south of San Francisco, Grace UMC was organized in 1959. Its building, shared with a Korean UM congregation, is acommunity center used by several hundred persons each week. Grace's 1S5 members are active in a program emphasizing music-choral, organ, and congregational singing-and adult education both on Sunday and during the week. Norwood Park UMC Chicago, Illinois This small congregation on the far northwest side of Chicago celebrated its 100th anniversary last year. Many of its current members, mostly elderly persons, are active as volunteers in various community groups. Norwood Park's ministry focus is accessibility for persons with disabilities, particularly the blind. It is now acquiring equipment to print in Braille and will offer this as a service to other churches. St. Andrew's UMC Palo Alto, California st. Andrew's has been a diverse congregation since its founding thirty-six years ago. Its 100 members are drawn from the larger Silicon Valley region who are attracted to the congregation's strong outreach ministries. The building is a multi-use facility with no fixed sanctuary. Over the past decade the congregation has sponsored the relocation of thirteen refugees from Ethiopia. With a tradition of consensus decision-making, the congregation unanimously affirmed its RC decision. 30 Open Hands ueve rly cole Opening the door and turning on the light In this moving, personal story Cole describes her spiritual pilgrimage from It was Christmastime, and she was dismay to denial to understanding to calmly sorting laundry when Beverly acceptance. Sharing the fruits of much Cole overheard her seventeen-year-old research-and even more prayer-she son's friend say the words that turned offers sociological and scriptural bases her life upside down: for rejecting hate and accepting homo"You're the only gay person I know sexuals as worthy humans whom God who doesn't smoke." loves. 10040S-4p, $14.99 ~lice~!~Press Box 179 • St. Louis, MO 63166-0179 or call toll-free 1-800-366-3383 St. Paul's UMC San Jose, California This lOO-member, multi-ethnic congregation is located in downtown San Jose. Its ministries focus on homeless persons and the mental health community who represent the largely marginalized population of the downtown area. The congregation houses a child care center and participates in a rotating shelter program. It also provides office space for various community groups. The congregation is looking at ways to build RC ministries. Saratoga Springs UMC aratoga, New York Founded in 1829, Saratoga Springs was the site of the UMC's 916 General Conference. The congregation has a long history f mission support, social activism, inclusiveness, vital worship with superb music, and a "can-do" spirit. Its 720 members are a mixture of older members, including fourteen retired pastors and spouses, and many younger families who support a large church school and youth program. The congregation leads its annual conference in mission giving and has sent work teams to Mexico, Brazil, and Oklahoma in recent years. After six years of study and reflection, Saratoga Springs voted on January 24 to become an RC amid the glare of TV cameras and newspaper reporters. Three Albany area TV stations carried the news of the church's action. Trinity UMC Kingston, New York Trinity UMC, founded in 1834 as a class meeting, grew into one of the prestigious churches on the waterfront of this Hudson River city. The decline of the city's river economy led to attrition in the church's membership. Building on its open and liberal tradition, the church is now reaching out to persons who are not comfortable in other, more conservative churches in town. Worship attendance has grown to 4S persons. Trinity houses a homeless shelter and has initiated a county-wide interfaith worship with persons with HIVjAIDS. One of its first steps as a Reconciling Congregation has been to add an alternative evening worship service. The pastor notes: "We are planning to grow! 1/ Minister Protests Gay Policy with Hunger Strike The Rev, Charles Moore, 60, pastor of Grace United Methodist Church, Austin, Texas began a hunger strike on April 22 to protest denominational discrimination against gay men and lesbians. Timing his strike to coincide with a worldwide gathering of United Methodist bishops in Austin, Moore urged them " to declare your concern for homosexual persons, especially those who are excluded and suffering because of ecclesiastical condemnation, and to call for the removal of all language in United Methodist documents which discriminates against anyone because of sexual orientation./I In his written appeal to the bishops, Moore described (anonymously) several persons he had personally known to have suffered from denominational discrimination because they were (or were suspected to be) gay/lesbian. He lamented, "I never did... say a word in protest against this pattern of lifedestroying discrimination. It is too late for most that I have mentioned to hear me, but it is certainly not too early to remove the stigma that homosexual persons still face in the church. 'Incompatibility' is an idea whose time has gone./I Responding to Moore, the Council of Bishops sent a delegation of three-Bishops Ray Owen, Sharon Brown-Christopher, and Woodie White-and presented a prepared statement which "confesses our own failure if by our inaction we have contributed to ostracism, stigma, unnecessary suffering, denial of human rights, torture, persecution, and pains inflicted .. ./1 Though ending his fast on day fifteen, Moore expressed disappointment that the Council failed to 1/acknowledge that the official United Methodist position ...is wrong and contributes significantly to the persecution of gays and lesbians ... /1 Summer 1995 31 First Affirming Church in Canada On February 20,1995, Augustine United Church in Winnipeg, Canada, publicly proclaimed itself to be an Affirming Congregation-a congregation which IIdelights in the diversity of all people ... and welcomes lesbian, gay, and bisexual sisters and brothers and acknowledges (your/our) rightful place (in this church)." Augustine's public statement and prophetic stance marks the first United Church in Canada to name itself an Affirming Congregation. Augustine is a downtown church which has, over the years, felt called to minister to the colorful rainbow of people who live at their door. In 1986, Augustine reached out with a street ministry to lesbian, gay, and bisexual people who live in Osborne Village. When the General Council of the United Church of Canada asked all churches to study and be prayerful about human sexuality, Augustine took this challenge to heart and held many workshops. In 1992, when the Affirming Congregations Program began, Augustine requested one of the first trained consultants. And though Augustine is the first to be named an Affirming Congregation, people in the congregation are clear in saying, IIThis isn't the final stepit's just one more step along the way." For more information about the Affirming Congregations Program in the United Church of Canada contact Bernadette Richards, co-chair of Affirm/Friends of Affirm, at 306/653-1475; fax: 306/665-2128. RIC Update The new Reconciled in Christ brochure is now available, along with a revised packet of resource material for individuals or congregations seeking to be RIC. Model resolutions calling on the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America to adopt an Affirmation of Welcome have been circulated to synods for approval in their spring assemblies in anticipation of the church-wide Assembly in August. A Reforming Church Conference is being planned for November 2-4 in Philadelphia as a follow-up to a similar conference attended by 700 persons in Minneapolis earlier this year. For more information on any of these items, contact RIC Coordinator Judy Bond at 703/7689825. QTY. BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE UniqueResource on Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985)Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986) Concerns in the Church for Our Families (Spring 1986) Our Churches' Policies (Summer 1986) Christian Education • Personal Reading Published by the Reconciling Images of Healing (Fall 1986) Congregation Program In cooperation Research Projects • Worship Resources Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987) with More Light, Open and Affirming, Ministry & Outreach Sexual Violence (Fall 1987) and Reconciled In Christ Programs. Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988) living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988) o Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4). Raising Reconciling Children (Fall 1988) o Send me Open Hands each quarter ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25). Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989) o Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to name(s) attached. 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Evangelism (Spring 1994) Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994) Denomination ___________________ Church on a Journey toward Sexuallnclusivity (Winter 1995) The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995) Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 Remembering ...10th Anniversary (Summer 1995) Phone: 312n36-5526 Fax: 31 2n36-5475 32 Open Hands Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 11 No 1 - Remembering...10th Anniversary https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a26c006390c0d236afc3acfb10db8dc9.pdf 44cb8556df29a6d0a5ebf648b7571c3e Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 10 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1995 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document $6.00 4 Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking . to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in conjunction with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs -along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs -offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more, $4 each. SubSCriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1995 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 @ Printed on recycled paper. ('!jJ!en Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity ofHuman Sexuality (II-landl Vol. 1o,No. 4 . Spring ~995 REFLECTING ON GOD-IMAGES Focus on Imagining the Divine MALCOLM BOYD Trinitarian images, saints, angels, and holy places help us imagine God. B'ut Who Do You Say That I Am 6 "GARY DAVID C OMSTOCK >it Two' major biblical images are combined with a' 'goddess image for a personal, contemporary answer. Bless Sophia-Wisdom of God BARBARA B. TROXELL Sophia images expand and deepen our God-relationships. Sophia/Wisdom in Scripture BARBARA B . TROXELL A list of biblical and deuterocanonical passages is provided. .The,Sai'nts, Our Friends AN INTE~~"IEW WITH D ENNIS, 0' NEilL BY DIC~f;POOLEtk> Gay-Iesbian-pqsitive icons help us connect God, with oar own lives and'provide us with religious roots. Finding God in Our Own Backyard K ITTREDGE CH ERRY Spiritual sustenance can be found in miracles and pop images too. NAMING OUR GOD How Do We Name Thee-And Why? CAROLYN BOHLER ,t~ God is Persistent and Patient Black Friend for fbis writer who explores how we all need to both identify"and affiliate with the Divine. Choosing Divine Metaphors CAROLYN B OHLER Here are five questions you might raise about a potential metaphor. My God-Who-Is-Like-a-River ELIZABETH A NDREW God as a river-lover flowing into a demanding ocean emerges from deep in this writer's personal experience. Open Hands 2 8 9 10 14 16 17 18 ---- The God To Whom We Pray Living Water 20 M IRIAM T HERESE WINTER A flowing musical prayer comforts and sustains. Praisesong 21 M ARK B ELLETINI This poem names and praises God as You, Friend. 22 Psalm 10 22 H OWARD B. WARREN, JR . This modern psalm, based on Psalm 86, might be used as a litany. 23 SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT 24 Bring Many Names 25 BRIAN W REN Celebrate some of God's many names with this hymn of praise. ONE MORE WHAT DO SELECTED MO VEM ENT WORD YO U THINK? RESOURCES NEWS 26 27 28 29 See subscription increase p.32 Spring 1995 Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day &............~ ~ ~ Open and Affirming OPEN ........... Program P.O. Box 403 MJ!~~!!~ &.........J1 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 ~ ............. o Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel :w,: ....&'~~~ ". More Light Churches :\...{ Network 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 T 217/355-9825 Publisher Mark Bowm an Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Illustrations Kari Sandhaas Layout I GraphicsI Typesetting In Print -Jan Graves Editorial Advisory Committee Peg Beissert, Rolling Hills Est., CA Lindsay Biddle, Minneapolis, MN Ann Marie Coleman, Chicago, IL Dan Hooper, Los Angeles, CA Derrick Kikuchi, Daly City, CA Samuel E. Loliger, Buffalo, NY Dick Poole, Oak Forest, IL Caroline Presnell, Evanston, IL Irma C. Romero, Chicago, IL Paul Santillan, Chicago, IL Martha Scott, Chicago, IL Stuart Wright, Chicago, IL 3 By Malcolm Boyd HOW do we picture what is holy and divine? God is our basic image. How do we see God? Only by being clear about this can the welcoming church be truly honest in its own intentions and actions. A Trinitarian View A n activist lesbian minister told me .f'\.that she still imagines God as actor Charlton Heston (due to his roles in religious movies), despite her sophistication and . strong belief to the contrary. For many years I imagined God to be a kind of aging, paternal Lionel Barrymore figure with a touch of majesty and a whi te beard. Later I grew to see God the Father/Mother also in the guise of an Eleanor Roosevelt, a benevolent, nononsense, sturdy maternal figure. I no longer see God in any anthropomorphic terms; instead, I am aware of a vastness that is overwhelming, yet is also completely personal. For me a sense of the numinous exists in God. There is mystery, a quality that is unfathomable; I need to accept it in faith. The Lord's Prayer remains my primary prayer-the old, traditional form with "trespasses." I believe that God is in "heaven" as well as on earth. I find tremendous security in the words "hallowed be thy name." God is stable, fixed, all-powerful, and absolutely reliable. The comfort this gives me is inexpressible. Yet there is also fluidity in God-in God, the Holy Spirit. This is a softer, more luminous, indelibly personal image. I used to think the Holy Spirit was the wind, or like the wind. I can also imagine the Holy Spirit in the sound of a cello or oboe. Candlelight makes me think of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ is something else. Jesus is God embodied. The gospels are enormously helpful in assisting us to imagine God as seen in Jesus. The question of Jesus' sexuality leaps out at me as a gay man and priest. He appears to be androgynous. He was sensitive, vulnerable, knew how to receive as well as give to another, and was relaxed about his body. Jesus was apparently not afraid of intimacy; he shared his feelings and empathized with those of others. To be human is to be sexual. Sexuality is a part of God's creation and is healthy, vital, and good. Since the church makes the claim that Jesus was fully human as well as divine, I believe Jesus was a fully sexual human being. We have no documentation of his personal life pertaining to sex. He lived much of his adult life in the company of men; his relations with women were frank, open, startlingly honest. The church seems to have told a big lie about Jesus' sexuality, creating a tragic abyss between the human body and spirit. I found a glaring and sad example of this in a story told me by a heterosexual man. He said, "When I have sex with my wife, God turns his back." But that isn't true. God doesn't have a back to turn. God is not disapproving of sexuality. God is involved and interested and concerned. God cares intensely. This story is a bad example of imagining God. The God to whom we pray is wholly accepting of us as we are. Sex is a part of God's creation of us. When we pray to or through Jesus, we are intimately involved with a savior who is sexual and understands sexuality. I asked a good friend, the Rev. Nancy Wilson, pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles, for her view about this. She said, Presuming (since there is no evidence to the contrary) that Jesus was not sexually dysfunctional, normal sexual arousal was a part of his reality. Did Jesus long to know the special appreciation of another's smell, taste, and touch? Did he know the feeling Open Hands 4 Ce'tlc tradition saw God as a trinity, but more a trinity of mothers than the trinity of the CNistian tradition. In this image the maiden Masai woman gives birth to the earth, the Irish .......,other receives and protects the earth, while the Plains Indian Wise Old Woman reminds ",s of the endings and renewal of life. The serpent and the raven are symbols of the cycles f life and death. con © 1990 by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Text from Bridge Building Images catalog, P.O. Box 48, Burlington, VT 05402. Both are used with permission. of passionate abandon where the difference between bodies/selves joyously blurs? Did he know the God-created capacity for deep, cleansing sexual pleasure, healing, and renewal? Did Jesus know the tender vulnerability of naked sexual giving and receiving? And if he did not, how can Jesus, as the Risen Christ, be with me in my own sexuality? Another friend of mine, Robert Kettelhack, a theologian and priest who died of AIDS in 1989, imagined/imaged jesus as someone to pray to and through. He told me: For modern and post-modern people, we must insist on the presence of sexuality in the archetypal Person who is Christ. It's very likely that Jesus had homosexual urges and orientation. I remember when Bishop John Robinson, Spring 1995 author of Honest to God, asked the question, 'Did Jesus have an erection?' It upset some people so much. The irony Jesus was working with was his almost violent offensive against almost any kind of hypocrisy, his impatience with religious rules and statutes. This is very comforting to a gay person. Jesus introduces the primacy of love, the primacy of justice, into the midst of all ethical problems. This is essential for gay people looking for the ultimate criterion of Christian life. Saints and Angels I maging, imagining, and naming saints is another way to visualize the Divine. Saints are people who have led holy lives. What does this mean? They have lived lives of loving, lives of service, lives more God-centered than selfcentered. Biography helps here, but so does simple discernment and openness to the reality of searching people's lives for meaning. We need to start naming our gay and lesbian saints and placing them in context. As we find and name them, we will see new faces of the Divine. This brings us to angels. They are vastly popular. There is. a reason. It is spiritual hunger. People yearn for a sense of the holy, the Divine, especially when caught in a secular age that offers few answers to questions of meaning. Angels can be found in the pages of scripture and in notable pieces of art. Angels can also be found in our own lives. Angels bring the Divine close to people's lives. I do not hesitate to talk about my own guardian angel. This angel is with me always. This angel hears the outpouring of my cries and anxieties, questions and joys. This angel clearly offers me unconditional love. This angel does not go away and leave me. This angel accepts and understands me completely. This angel is right here. Imagining in Context A holy space is a good place to imagine the Divine. What is a holy space? Well, it can be a place where people have worshipped God. A cathedral. A quiet corner. An altar. Or, it can be a place where people have come to meditate, or engage in meaningful social action rooted in idealism, or pour out communal outrage or hope, or lift up prayer in hope of peace. Imaging the Divine is a task of beauty and creativity. It beckons us to God and to God's realm of holiness and earthiness, justice and peace, faith and hope, and love. We need to share our different images .... Malcolm Boyd is an Episcopal priest on the staff of st. Augustine by-the-Sea in Santa Monica, California, chaplain of the " AIDS Commission of the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles, and the author of twenty-seven books, including Take Off the Masks. 5 !lO/) THtlT 1tlm? ~------~--------~------~ By Gary David Comstock TI e Bible tells me who God is, not with clear definitions, but within the tension of questioning and answering. It does not give me a tidy package of "God" that I can carry around with me and rely on to solve my assorted problems. Instead, the Bible gives me the responSibility to engage God and to know God through dialogue, discussion, argument, and process. God is not a problem-solver for me, but a problem-poser and often a problem. The Bible places much of the responsibility for solving those problems on me. My interpretation of the biblical God may seem "radical" in the sense of being drastic, extreme, or off-beat. But it is not. It does not come from digging into remote passages, looking for hidden meaning, reading between the lines, or twisting words and phrases. Instead, it is found in the Bible's central stories. I read the passages from those stories at face-value and not out of context. Ifmy interpretation is IIradical," it is so in the other meaning of the word which has to do with what is fundamental, essential, basic-the "root" of the Bible.1 An Old Testament Answer My primary source for knowing God is the Exodus story, particularly Moses' encounter with God (Exod 3-4). After telling Moses that "I have seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians," God says, "I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring forth my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt." Moses then goes through a litany of doubts, insecurity, apprehension, objection, and avoidance. "Why me? Who am I to do this? They won't believe me. They won't listen to me. I am not a good speaker." But God reassures, explains, and provides. Among the excuses that Moses offers is his ignorance about God's identity. Who is this God who is asking him to take on the responsibility of leading slaves out of bondage? Moses says to God, "If I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'God has sent me to you,' and they ask me what your name is, what shall I say to them?" And God says to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. Tell them, 'I AM has sent me to you."' God also says, liTell them, 'YHWH, the God of your ancestors, has sent me to you. ' This is my name forever." The Hebrew words for "I AM WHO I AM" can also be translated as "I AM WHAT I AM" or "I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE." Their use here as a name for God depends on and stems from the Israelite name for God, YHWH, which is derived from the Hebrew verb for lito be."z The Exodus story is central to the Old Testament. The stories that come before it lead up to and anticipate it. The stories that come after it refer to and build on it. God's choice of Moses and Moses' response to God provide us with fundamental information about God and our relationship with God. In this foundational biblical story, we are told by our God that God is not a static, unchanging entity, but an active verb of being in past, present, and future tense. Furthermore, our relationship with our God is not one of unquestioning obedience, but of honest uncertainty, insecurity, questioning, protest, and negotiation. The Old Testament puts forth a relationship between humans and the Divine that is dialogical rather than mono logical. God does not speak to silent, unresponsive people. Instead, people are expected to answer, doubt, challenge, and interrogate God. Throughout the Old Testament, these question-and-answer dialogues with God are rarely tame, laid back, casual conversations. A New Testament Answe The New Testament continues tho tradition of encounters with th Divine that are challenging, emotiona and tension-filled. One New Testame. story in particular is helpful for gaiT> ing a better understanding of our relationship with the God of the Bible. The story is told three times-once in eac of the Gospels (Matt 16:13-20, Mk 8:2~30, and Lk 9:18-22). The story takes place during the heightened activity ofJesus ministry as he is traveling with his disciples and speaking to various group of people. On their way to a village, Jesu.. asks his disciples, "Who do the people say that I am?" And they tell him, "Some say you are John the Baptist; others sa Elijah; and still others say you are on~ of the prophets who has risen." And the._ the push comes as Jesus asks, "But wh do you say I am?" The story turns or: these two small, yet powerful words "but" and "you," as it shifts from questions about popular perception to pe!"sonal knowledge. Not all of the diSCiple are ready to respond. Instead of the co lective response to his first questior. only one disciple, Peter, answers witL "You are the Christ of God." The second question is a lot harder and more strongly put. The sharp turn to person _ responsibility for knowing about G and the apparent difficulty of gainir. such knowledge give the story its importance. This importance is given another d:mension with a final sentence: IIAnd h charged them to tell no one about him. The knowledge and name of God th we gain in dialogue with God is indee personal, private, protected, and not tt. be shared indiscriminately. In the 01 Testament story also, the name for Go is camouflaged as a proper noun tha reads as verb. The confusion and ambivalence are intentional and protective Traditionally, Jews have regarded the proper name YHWH as too special to Open Hands 6 nee. The Hebrew word "Adonai," meaning "the Lord," is usually substi. protect our relationships with cause their meaning is peculiar particular to us rather than univereneral, and common. As a person pIe, we keep the name and knowlof our God within or among us use it is unique and speCial to us. biblical God is not a God for all at e but for each at their times of need. seems to interact neither with the of humanity as one nor with only '\ . e chosen person or pe9f le. God interacts instead with many chosen individuals and many groups of people. We are chosen to interact with and know God, not to the exclusion of the others and not in the same way as others, but in different ways, at different times, and in different company_ We preserve, protect, and cherish the meaning of how, why, and when we are chosen; and we do not impose that meaning on others. MyCu ns~wer These two stories from the Old and New Testaments tell us thaHhe biblical God is an active, verbal ever-presence who engages us and qialogues with us at those times ;whe~something is bothering"'God andior bothering us. The name of ou? God and our negotiatio~ and relationship with our God have ~ special meaning for us that renders/ u~ silent about God'sn ame, but confideht VIEW OF THE TRINITY God is understood as the mutuality and reciprocity in r relationships and Jesus is our saving one another om loneliness, despair, abuse, and neglect, the Holy Spirit is the community that includes and encourages each person to share her or his gifts. Gary David Comstock Gay Theology without Apology (Cleveland, OH: The Pilgrim Press, 1993), p. 138. Spring 1995 of God's everlasting presence and interaction with us. To express these qualities, I borrow and combine one sentence from the Exodus story with one sentence from the Jesus story and follow them with part of a chant by the Goddess theologian Starhawk.3 I intentionally move from biblical to non~biblical passages because I think that the chant effectively captures the unspoken, eternal, constant qualities of the biblical God. I Am "Who I Am. But who do.you say I am? ,.1 Her~nam(~annot be spoken,. Her ) face was not forgotten, Her power is to open, ff~rpromisecan never be broken. ... IThe'English word "radical" is derived from I the Latin "radix,II meaning II root./I .,. .. 2'fhe Israelite name for God i§...made up of the ~tconsonants Y~H, probably pronou-flce!.Yahweh. See N9J;man 'K. Gottwald, The Hebre~:Bible: A Socia-Literary Introduction (Philadelphta:~Fortress, 1985), pp. 211213. 3Starhawk, Tht Spiral Dance:A Rebirth ofthe Ancient Religion of th( Great Goddess (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1979), p. 89. Gary David Comstock, a United Church ofC~ristclergyman, is the Protestant chaplain a"t Wesleyan University in¥iddletown, Connecticut. His most rec~nt book is Gay Theology witho Apology. 7 ~~~~~~ The naming of our God is a sacred act. The words we usegive meaning To our imagining ofthe Divine. With joy and reverence We speak the hallowed names of God. Ancient names, newly found namesWe speak the hallowed names of God. 1 ~~~~~~ At the opening ritual of the Reimagining Conference, a leader spoke these words between stanzas of the remarkable Brian Wren hymn, "Bring Many Names," (see page 25) as we gathered at our circular tables and began to learn the names of those who were sitting with us. Together, we sought to name and worship the Holy One. The naming of God is indeed a sacred act. The ways we name God influence the ways we pray and speak and act and live in the world. Conversely, how we pray and speak and live in the world are directly related to how we name and image God. If, for example, I image God as a strong, dominant judge who is watching people to catch us in our evil acts, I may pray ardently, perhaps fearfully, begging for mercy. Or, like the Pharisee, I may pray boastfully, thanking God that I am not like those others who lie, steal, cheat, and do immoral things (Lk 18:9-14). Imaging God as a strong, dominant judge may lead me, in daily actions, either to be harsh and judgmental towards others or to be exceedingly kind, suppressing feelings of anger so as not to stir up the wrath of the God in whom I believe. On the other hand, if I image God as one who makes and keeps covenant with humankind, who is incarnated in human interaction, and who calls us to be in holy partnership, my prayers and actions will likely take a different turn. Prayer with an incarnating, covenantkeeping God will involve dialogue, thanksgiving, and holding others and myself in the Holy Presence. A full range of emotions may come into play when we pray to God as Friend, Co-Creator, or Spirit at the heart of our lives. We likely will perceive others as our gifted, wounded equals-who are also created by the One who tends, challenges, and calls all of us. These are but two scenarios, evoked by different images of the Divine. There are countless others, borne of other images. In this article I choose to emphasize the image of God as Holy Wisdom (from the Hebrew word hochma, translated sophia in the Greek language of the Septuagint and the New Testament). Such an image has deep and ancient roots in judaism and Christianity, as well as in other religious communities. As one steeped since childhood in biblical tradition from a "moderate-toliberal" Protestant perspective, I focus first on the scriptural roots of Holy Wisdom as a lively image of God. I then offer ways in which Sophia/Wisdom can aid our prayer and our ministry within welcoming congregations. Sophia in Scripture Leo Lefebure writes in Christian Century that "There are few events as important in religious life as the emergence, disappearance, or revival of a religious symbol. 11 2 Sophia, the Wisdom of God, a female personification, certainly had disappeared from our Protestant tradition (although she was vitally retained among Catholics and Orthodox, especially those of the Eastern Church). In recent years, especially among feminist scholars, the image of God as Sophia has come again to the fore in Protestant study, discussion, and worship. We have rediscovered many places in Scripture where Sophia/Wisdom is mentioned (see box). The actions of Lady Wisdom in Proverbs and the list of glorious epithets for Sophia in The Wisdom of Solomon (abbreviated Wis) are quite stunning. Special note must be made of the affirmation and action of Sophia in Wis 7:27: Although she is but one, she can all things, and while remaining in herself, s renews all things; in every generation she passes in holy souls and makes them friends of God, an prophets.3 Lefebure notes that "Paul began tradition of attributing to Christ cosmological role in creation that h been held by Sophia" (see I Cor 1:23· 24; 8:6). Lefebure also points out oth 7 places in the Epistles where Sophia linked to Christ, such as in the hymn Col 1:5-20. He notes that Heb 1:3 (He : the reflection of God's glory and exact imprint of God's very being. parallels the description in Wis 7:26 (Feshe is a reflection of eternal light, a spo'less mirror of the working of God... . Robin Maas, in "Wisdom Calls to H Children," also points out the conne . tion of jesus with Sophia and the str. ing parallel between the creative fu . tions of Sophia (Prov 8:22-31) and Logos an 1:1-18), a parallel which me-· its further study. S Several persons in recent years ha written substantively about a recoye..of the Sophia aspect of God. Their \ . . . ings are deeply rooted in the biblic images of Sophia/Wisdom. Nearly a cade ago, two United Methodist de Susan Cady and Hal Taussig, toge with ecumenical Catholic layworr: Marian Ronan, wrote Sophia: The Fu of Feminist Spirituality, which rein T" duced the metaphor of divine Wisd from Scripture and tradition as basic feminist spirituality. They specifica avowed that "Sophia...can be develo into a powerful integrating figure . feminist spirituality and that the bi cal Sophia provides us with a start' point for that development."6 Elizabeth johnson, in She Who .5 offers a superb feminist theologic presentation on Sophialogy. Follo " ing Elizabeth Schussler Fiorenza an other New Testament scholars, ]ohnso Open Hands 8 affirms how central to both the Pauline ..-ritings and the gospels is the connecion of Wisdom withJesus. As her book evolves, Johnson (utilizing the sources of Scripture, of women's experience, and of classical theology) describes the Trinitarian God as Spirit-Sophia, JesusSophia, and Mother-Sophia, interacting ..ithin the world: Christ crucified and risen, the Wisdom of God, manifests the truth that divine justice and renewing power leavens the world in a way different from the tech.:. niques of dominating violence ... The unfathomable depths of evil and suffering are entered into in friendship with Sophia-God, in trust that this is the path to life.7 oohia in Our Ministries ophia, Lady Wisdom, the Co-creator with God, and the creative Spirit 'hich matches and complements the gos: these images expand and deepen ur God-relatedness as participants in ";elcoming churches. They do so by affirming a strong feminine aspect of God as we pray, by expanding our images of God yet again so we can re-imagine One ;ho receives with outstretched hands all who come. Sophia personifies a Holy One who plays and dances and prophesies and stands firm for the truth of nclusion. Welcoming congregations do well to include Sophia in their liturgies, responses, prayers, readings, study, and mission. She adds to our lives and brings them together in different ways in different liturgical seasons. For example, in Advent we can emphasize the second stanza of the familiar hymn, 110 come, o come Emmanuel, " which invokes uWisdom from on high." At Christmas we might read the prologue of John's Gospel (1:1-18), together with Prov 8:2231. During Lent, we might highlight Paul's text from I Cor 1:23-25, recalling that IIChrist crucified" is lithe power of God and the wisdom (sophia) of God." Ve can sing the II Canticle of Wisdom," as found in The United Methodist Hymnal (1989), number 112, combining the Wis 7 text with familiar musical responses. Praying to Sophia God-to Holy Wisdom-helps us to be IIfriends of God and Spring 1995 prophets" (Wis 7:27d) There is a wholeness here, a witness to shalom/salaam, in the presence of the mobile One who is a IIbreath of the power of God" (Wis 7:25) and against whom lIevil does not prevail" (Wis 7:30). We soon discover that Sophia will not leave us alone. She dwells in each of us and our gathered company as a central image of the mystery of God. She blesses us with her wise, centered, and visionary presence. As Barbara Newman concluded in a recent lecture, ((There never was when She was not."s 'Y Notes 1Re-imagining Conference Program Book (November 1993), p. 12. 2Leo D. Lefebure, "The Wisdom of God: Sophia and Christian Theology," The Christian Century 111 (October 19, 1994):952. 3The Wisdom of Solomon is found in the apocryphal or deuterocanonical section of a "study Bible" such as HarperCollins or New Oxford Annotated. 4Lefebure, op.cit., p. 954. SOPHIA/WISQOM IN SCRIPTURE 1. Proverbs 5 Robin Maas, "Wisdom Calls to Her Children," in Maas and O'Donnell, Spiritual Traditions for the Contemporary Church (Nashville: Abingdon, 1990). 6Susan Cady, Marian Ronan and Hal Taussig, Sophia: The Future of Feminist Spirituality (New York: Harper & Row, 1986), p. 14. 7Elizabeth A. Johnson, She Who Is: The Mystery ofGod in Feminist Theological Discourse (New York: Crossroad, 1992), p. 159. 8Barbara Newman, "The Journey of SophiaChrist" (Unpublished lecture, delivered at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary, Evanston, Illinois, October 12, 1994). Barbara B. Troxell, a United Methodist clergywoman, is assistantprofessor ofpractical theology (director of field education and spiritual formatio n) at aarrettEvangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, illinois. A clergy member of the CaliforniaNevada Conference, she has been active in the Reconciling Congregation movement. 1:20-33 -Wisdom is a prophetess and· street teacher (who later is contrasted with the loose or strange woman in 2: 16-19, 5:3-6, 7: 1-27). This contrast', which supports the cultural bias against women, hasled some scholars to view Proverbs as one more patriarchal work. 8: 1-36 -,Y'Visdom is a gracious woman, crying out at city gates. She is the form in which God com~s near to humans (according to Lefebure). 8:22-31-Wis'd()LTl is either "a child born of the deity before the creation of t he cosmos" or "a preexistent being who aligns hers~lf with God." (See HarperCollins Study Bib/e, NRSV, p. 953.) .. 2. Wisdom of Solomon 7:7-11:1 -Sophia/Wisdom is described in twenty-one epithets (7:22-8:1) and additional attributes. 3. Wisdom of Jesus ben Sirach (or Ecclesiasticus) 24: 1-34 -In this R,assage, titled "The Praise of Wisdom," Sophia/Wisdom tells how God chose the~place for ,her tent and how God created her in the beginning. 4. Paul I Cor 1:24 -Paul namesChrist crucified as "Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God." 5. Jesus as Prophet and Apostle of Sophia Lk 7:33-35 -"Wisdom is vindicated by her children (deed~)." See also Matt 11: 1819. Lk 11:49-51 -Jesu"s' speaks Wisdom's words. See also Matt 23:34-36. 6. Gospel of John 1: 1-18 -Prol09,ue uses language of Sophia (Prov 8:22-31) to describe Logos (Word). 9 THE SAINTS. ElllR FRIENBS: EXPLORING IMAGES AND ICONS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dick: Many Open Hands readers come out of the Reformed church tradition where religious images of all sorts may be questionable. You come out of a Roman Catholic tradition which has valued imagery. What for you is the value of iconography, of imagery? Dennis: I love pictures. IIA picture is worth a thousand words." As a child I loved to read comic books, especially Classics Illustrated Junior. A picture was always a catalyst for my imagination and gave a focus to what I was reading. Icons of the saints are like the family album of the church. They remind me of those people who lived and of their influence on my life. Out of my Irish sense that lithe dead are always with us," it was very easy for me to buy into the "communion of saints." In childhood other kids had imaginary friends; I had saints. I would talk to them and ask for whatever I wanted. I never saw any of them; I never had any visions. But the saints were quite real to me. They were my friends who were always with me to help me. In adulthood, icon art has reconnected me with my roots in history and in faith. Icons of saints provide me with a sense not only of their place in history but of my place too, because I am also an icon of the presence of Christ and meant to radiate light even as they do. Two years ago was the first time I walked in the Gay Pride Parade. I had a clear sense of the presence of Christ there. Where else is Christ going to be but present to that crowd of so many people, all of whom have had to wrestle with alienation in SOCiety and oppression from their faith roots? I marched with the Catholic Worker group in that parade, helping to carry their banner. At one point, where the crowds were at their thickest and all kinds of people were acting out in a carnivalesque way, one person stopped when we walked by and reverently crossed himself. I remember thinking, "What's that about? Be- An Interview with Dennis O'Neill by Dick Poo cause we are a religious group? Or because we're a Catholic group?" Then I remembered that on our banner was a picture of Christ with his arms around the Catholic Workers. I can walk through a crowd mindful of the presence of Christ, but if I carry a picture of Christ, I don't have to say anything; the image itself speaks. Last year, people from The Living Circle ministry marched for the first time, carrying icons of the saints. People had never seen that in a Gay Pride Parade before. I heard a couple of people yelling "Yea, Jesus!" We weren't even carrying Jesus, but they got the idea. You can't do that with words; you can't make that kind of impact. Images do that. Images have power! Dick: You said that you are an II icon the presence of Christ." How do y understand yourself or someone else an icon? Dennis: In my case, it has to do \ ,". learning how to "be present." Whee first considered beginning The Lh··. Circle ministry, an image from my sen; nary days came to me. We were su ~ posed to take our empty pop bot back down to the machine and put the. in the cases. I noticed that if I put a bot in the hall outside my room to car'" down later other bottles would gath around mine. So, the image came to IY. with Living Circle: just be like a po. bottle; stand in the hall, and people \ ' . gather. As an icon of the presence Sts. Sergius and Bacch us ca. 300 Sergius and Bacchus were Christians who were tortured to death in Syria because refused to attend sacrifices in honor of Jupiter. Recent research of old manuscripts re ea s that they were erestai, or lovers. After their arrest, they were paraded through city stree s women's clothing to humiliate them as officers in the Roman army. They were t e separated and each was tortured. Bacchus died first and appeared that night to Serg .... ..1 who was beginning to lose heart. Bacchus told Sergius to persevere, that the delights heaven were greater than any suffering, and that their reward would be to be re-unitea .... heaven as lovers. The feast day of these saints is October 7. Icon © 1994 by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Text adapted from back of icon notecard publisr EJ by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. Both are used with permission.' Open Hands 10 I'm just supposed to "be" out in the community. the gay and lesbian community, oes one "be" the presence of ?Just take one step at a time. Speak as much integrity as possible. Tell ory, the Christian story, and highhose things in the story that might ot particular interest to gay and lespeople. Help them to see that '··e always been there, folks." for Gays and ians . ": So, why iconography with gay and an people? nnis: There is a parallel between us ..\frican Americans or any other p searching for its identity. Part of ay we all have been controlled is 'ing our history away. Historians On some level we have been aware end we didn't have a place in histhat we have had a place, even in the . For gay and lesbian people, the lie Church. I hear people say: "Fine, you've at we have always been oppressed, used us to decorate your churches, to .':e have always been fringe, that we build your churches, to compose the e always been a negative aspect of music, to do every other thing that enhances the liturgy, including to preside WHAT IS AN ICON? comes from, a Greek,,\\,ord meaniDg, ':irnage," Several classlcal rules determine at makes a picture ar:t i~Qn: -e picture cannot go to the e9ge;it;ha~ to have a frame pain,te:~c1aroundit. 0 . _. -e name must be printed or painted qp the rcont fr~quently i~:Greek or Russian. s are stylized. Rather than trying to capture a> phbtographiclikeness of the perSO' 1 when they;Jived, they are trying mystically to bring the presence to you, some'"g like the e~perienceof the risen Savior in the gospels whe~e heIs sort of recogzable but notimm~diately. • l ght radiates froT insicfe the figure butW~rd; rather than corrtf~:~~:·~0m spmewhere · else towards the picture as inWestern,ari. An icon tries to ca~~~r~. that'facet'?f >, erson that is also a facet of the Divine. So wherever skin tou£hei~abric (a~ at elbows a;'ld knees) it will be brighter. . ~ Certain elemenfs on theface are .also lit. The "third eye," in thexniddle of the forehead, will hav€jp.,.? k%i ,~ comes from deeper ipd of brightness, f~presentng vision th9an the eyes .. fh~ '~y~s them?elves" Jq;~~?e ':windows of th~ " ~, ", spl.lr to which one is drawn when medita.~.i~~. on an i~on/~il~tbe1~rger than usuaL.Ihile mouths are made'smaller, because in an icon (as~n the portant to lIsten than to talk. ' "''1e icon is a flat picture, rather thana sculpture, as a remindet.jhat there is a lot ~ore behind what you arel.ooking at. If! vyalk'up to a scuipture'like Mic:;helangelo's David" and walkaILaroun9,.,it,<1 might co~vince myself that I havel/got" it. In an icon, au can never seethe b9,ck;'so' you .~~JJ' I3;§v~r fool yourself into th~nkirig that now you ave caught the whole mystery of w '-Dennis",Q'NeilJ Sts. Perpetua and Felicitas Died March 7, 202 These North African women were martyred for their Christian beliefs. Both had infant children. Perpetua's meticulous journal, the first such in Christian history, omits any mention of the infants' fathers. Their relationship was so strong that they are always named as a pair. Drawing © 1980 by Bill Joyner. Text adapted from Living Circle brochure. Both are used with permiss ion . at your altars. Then, after you've gotten everything you wanted, you burn us at the stake or denounce us as sinful. " However, as young people are growing up, they don't necessarily know that Michelangelo was gay or that a whole bunch of composers were gay. Icons (along with lithe lavender list", or lithe lesbian list") are ways of telling the truth: all kinds of people in history-even religious saints-were gay or lesbian. Some saints went through hell because of it, but still they lived their truth. That is good for all of us to know. I hold up an icon in a Pride Parade and people are caught up by it. The picture tells the story that we were there, present in religious history! In last year's Parade, we carried an icon of Sergius and Bacchus. One of the II queens" jumped out of the crowd and said "I want that!" I don't know if he was Catholic; he may have been Buddhist for all I know. What he saw was two good looking guys with halos, almost embracing. He wanted it. It conveyed some sense of desire, some sense of history, some sense of the Divine. Dick: So, when I gaze on an icon, I am drawn into the eyes, including the third eye, and it ceases to be just a picture; it becomes an experience of communion. What happens, then, when I gaze at this icon of a gay or lesbian person? Does it transform the value of my sexuality? more II." ring 1995 11 Joan of Arc 14 12-1431 Prompted by her sacred voices, this remarkable teenager led the French army in driving the English out of Orleans. She then helped get Charles VII crowned king of France. Her English enemies, however, tried her for witchcraft and burned her at the stake in Rouen. The final reason given for her death: she kept her hair cut short, wore only men's clothing and armor, and refused to resume the dress of a woman!' She seemed to move with equal ease among men and women, but when "on the road" slept only with young women. Records exist of deep conversations she had with some of these women. She is, unquestionably, a holy person for cross-dressers. Icon © 1994 by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Published by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402 . Text is adapted from Living Circle flyer and brochure. Both are used with permission . Dennis: No, not "transform" the value, but perhaps help you to better appreciate it. They are friends and helpers. The whole point, whether we are talking about guardian angels or saints, is that they are around, they are helpful, and they can help us get a clearer picture of what is going on in our lives. Maybe, simply by saying "you're not alone," they can affirm whatever courage we need to take the steps to be what we ought to be. We've got that from God anyway. Traditions that don't have saints have the presence of Christ saying the same thing. I don't want to downplay that at all, but icons are another kind of help. The eyes of the icon draw me into communion with the spirit represented in the icon. I can understand myself a little better and not be trapped by my own history. So, if I am gazing at the icon of Saint Joan and I know some of her history, I can just sit down and commune with her and say "You know, what about it?" Dick: Dennis, I'm struck by how you talk about the saints as friends, whether Joan of Arc or Sergius and Bacchus or Harvey Milk or Perpetua and Felicitas. For you, it seems to be a very active friendship with this collection of saints and wanting to show off your friends. Dennis: That's right. Showing off my friends. And letting other people take what they need. Friendship is the core. That's the way I feel about Christ in the eucharist, too; if it is daily communion with a friend, I can never get tired of that. It's the same with the saints; if it's some kind of geniune communion with a friend, I can tap into that power any time I want. Icons, Power, and Sexuality Dick: As a Protestant, I feel more c fortable talking about the power of' Word. But then I think that words, t are symbols or icons. What we are ta ing about is power "behind" those s: boIs or words or icons-like the po. "behind" liturgical action or in the e ments of bread, water, oil, or incer. There is power "behind" an icon Sergius and Bacchus, of Harvey Milk Joan of Arc. Power behind what we h man beings can take hold of throu our senses. Dennis: Gay and lesbian people are certainly aware of the negative power th some churches put behind the Word God to oppress gay and lesbian peop They select their texts well and then bl~ away and make us sound like the ul .mate scum of the earth. That's powe" frightening power. People have also had strong react io to the icons we have displayed. We h to move Living Circle out of the chape at a hospital after some of the nurses were quite angry about us being the" with our icons and other symbols. Man. of these nurses were Catholic, but b cause the icons did not represent wh they thought icons should represer.· they couldn't even look at them: IIGe' them out! II There is power. Dick: Why would Catholic nurses object to a collection of Catholic icons Catholic saints? Dennis: It was the concept of conne ing the saints with sexuality. When the, were first told the saints' stories, th erotic was left out. Sexuality is not on., a missing piece but also a piece th Western culture has wrapped with su picion, taboo, and fear. When you brir. that kind of taboo into the lives of saints: EXPLOSION! If icons can be cat lysts for such negative energy, imagin what catalysts they can be for healin . Dick: We're comfortable with sain being "spiritual" entities, but not necessarily with saints being "sexual" entIties? So, part of the value of these icons is that they are "friends" of our own Open Hands 12 orientation, "friends" who can our human sexuality as well as . ·tuality? : Yes, but many people have difaffirming the combination of Q\7'nT~lity and spirituality because a las been jammed between the and the sexual in Western cul. So, there is an explosive power e spiritual and the sexual meet? ~ll1.L>: That's right. It meets in everytit meets more transparently in gay and lesbian people, which is ason people have an aversion to Q, in the icons you display and ...ts' stories you tell, the spiritual exual are being reconnected. h this reconnection, gay and leseople know that these are our this is our humanity, our sexuour spirituality. And there is a in that wholeness, a healing Dis: And that can be frightening. can be the cause of resentment. than listen, people demand, II Get of here!" ''I \'hen we talk about icons, then, not talking about being transinto some other spiritual dimenor about worshipping images, or having schizophrenic conversaith other voices. We're talking connections and wholeness. talking about bringing sexuality irituality together-as they are, in ogether. And we're talking about ower in that connectedness and nis: Yes. What we're talking about e sense of communion with the . Their lives were difficult; my life en difficult. Some of the reasons :es have been difficult are similar. uple of these women caught hell he Church they loved. We have . n common. What we are going gh we have in common with some "'aordinarily holy people who also a lot of problems, a lot of baggage. I ,~ want to lead a life anything like Harvey Milk 1930-1978 The first openly gay man to be elected to high public office (city supervisor) in the U.S., Harvey Milk was assassinated with San Francisco's mayor on November 28, 1978, by a rival politician enraged by the mayor's defense of lesbians and gay men. Icon © 1987 by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Published by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. Text is adapted from a Living Circle brochure. Both are used with permission. Joan of Arc or Hildegard or Sergius and Bacchus; I don't plan on martyrdom. But I feel much safer if I can be bonded with them and know that the light they were in their own day has continued to be a light for generations, even down to being a light for me. It helps to know that they somehow are still alive and supportive of me in my coming to better understand God in Christ and what it means for me to be a follower of Christ. Dick: The saints may have been exceptional people doing exceptional things, but the fact that they had this light in them doesn't separate them from us. They remind us that we also have that light in us which has a particular source, God. Dennis: We have a connection. Spirituality is about finding connections. If all of created reality are unique facets of God's glory and if the purpose of the incarnation (at least in John's Last Supper discourse) is III came that all may be one," then connectedness is vital. The more the communion of saints is true communion, the more the facets of God's glory shine. We are an lIicon" of God; creation is an "icon" of God.T Note 1A catalog may be ordered from Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. 802/864-8346. Den nis O'Neill is a priest at St. Benedict Church in the Chicago diocese. He is also codirector of The Living Circle, an interfaith spirituality center and chapel founded to serve the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered community in the Chicago area. Dick Poole, a member of the Open Hands advisory committee, is a Lutheran pastor who does spiritual direction at the Claret Center in the Hyde Park area of Chicago. ng 1995 13 FINDING GOD IN OUR O'WN BACKYARD By Kittredge Cherry I~\ I was eating sushi in a North Hollywood mini-~:~:;:~l mall with a clergy colleague when he mentioned .~~ that Our Ladyof Guadalupe had been sighted i nearby. The moss on a tree in somebody's back-l~1 de' yard in a Latino neighborhood looked to be grow-';}f$ ing in the form of the Mother ofGod, known in 1\)\ :::'~e:a~:~:::r:~~ac;o~;:~~;~o':::X?~: $lJ own longingto seel:;~:;~:;;~s~J Our mixed motives made us laugh nervously as we drove through a rare southern California drizzle to the site. Did we seek to honor something sacred or just to watch other people respond to an image they believed was holy? We joined the crowd that stretched for nearly a block and shuffled with them past a makeshift burrito stand. When we reached the backyard, the first thing I noticed was light: The tree looked surreal under the glare of a harsh spotlight. Around it glowed at least a hundred candles, sputtering as the rain grew heavier. To see the image, I had to push through the crowd and relinquish all hope of staying dry, unmuddied, untouched. I breathed in the smells of roses and candle-wax, sweat and fresh rain. I gazed at the moist niche in the Chinese elm tree and watched Mary's mossy image being obliterated. People longed with violent intensity to touch her and take her home. Some, like me, stroked the cool, damp wood. Many took whatever they had-a wristwatch, a wallet, a set of keys-and rubbed it against her. Others ripped off twigs to keep. The singing of sweet Spanish hymns was interrupted by a child dressed as an altar boy (apparently the son of the homeowner), urging people to come back t omorrow. "Manana!" he called out. "Manana, manana." Nobody left. Soon his mother took him aside, her eyes gentle as she looked upon the longing that she couldn't refuse. "Let them be." That night I felt we saw the image of the God-Bearer, but it was in the faces of the people at least as much as in the unusual moss formation, The next day I read in the newspaper that some bishop had forbidden official worship at the tree because "there is always the danger that miracles will distract Christians from the call to service." I couldn't help remembering what Jesus called the great and first commandment: "You shall love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." I can scarcely think of a time when I have witnessed the love of God expressed more physically and fervently than in that backyard in North Hollywood. And, yes, there was something scandalous and frightening about it, as with any paSSion. Our sense of order is disturbed when God becomes fles h in our own backyard. Searching My Backyard I began to wonder what God might be up to in my backyard-the backyards of my suburban childhood that still rest within my heart. Towncrest, Court Hill, and Orchard Heights were the names the white, middle-class subdivisio. where I grew up. They could have bee anywhere in America, although th happened to be in Iowa. I felt then t.! Iowa was both anywhere and nowhe As a little girl I was fascinated same-sex friendships, wondering as watched TV what kind of relationsh existed between Wilma Flintstone a her neighbor Betty Rubble? Betwee Uncle Martin and the man he pretend was his nephew on liMy Favorite M ptian"? Looking back, I feel I was alwa lesbian and I consider secular Americ pop culture to be my spiritual backyar my native culture. I wasn't baptized a baby and our family rarely went church, so pop culture also serves as r!':, "church of origin," peopled by the Ii . of Captain Kangaroo. ' When spiritual ideas or images co into contact with pop culture, they te to become kitsch, like a magnetic }..f dashboard ornament. Yet, I wond whether God dwells in the plastic, . prefab, the disposable, the artificia flavored. I don't mean the sentimen' God, plastic-shaped to look like Jes' but the God of backyards and other likely places. Lesbians and other outc have always used scraps, the crurr. from the master's table, to maintain and build what they needed, indud their spirituality. Finding the God-Bearer i American Pop Culture The traditional place to seek God not in the backyard, but in the B. If you think American pop cu lt seems too devoid of meaning to pro. a dwelling-place for God, well, th how the Bible initially struck me. \ I began reading the Bible as an ad my first reaction to almost every s was, "You mean that's all it says? you mean all it says about what· God-Bearer felt aboutJesus' miracu birth is "Mary kept all these thi Open Ha. 14 ;c;:xfering them in her heart"? I ex-IIWe've Only Just Begun." Sometimes o find out more by reading the the music seems to guide me. During a less. . ickness for old friends, Song+M~~~r urged me not to stop h1~i .fri :~bowords of Donovan, 1995 15 . 16 Human beings have two spiritual needs which Christian beliefs meet: to be "like" and "with" God. We believe we are in some manner made in the "image" of God. We can identify on a finite scale with some godlike qualities (creativity, capacity for love, longing for justice, connectedness with others). Furthermore, we believe that, no matter where we are, we cannot be separated from the love of God. God is with us. Each of us needs both to identify and to affiliate with God. We also should be able to identify all other humans with God. In the past, males have had the advantage and burdens of over-identification with God, while females have been encouraged to be affiliative with (and dependent upon) God. Both can benefit from evaluating their ways of conceiving of and naming the Deity. We can find ways to name the Deity so that we are profoundly shocked into the awareness of our own-and others-withness and likeness to God. When I pray to "Patient and Persistent Black Friend," I never forget that ,God is able to be imaged in other ways, but my prayer opens aspects of divinity which I had not known. "Patient and Persistent Black Friend" has a lot to teach me. One dimension of my experience which grows is my way of being with God. I am more inclined to take a listening stance, fully aware of my interdependence with God. When I pray "Patient and Persistent Black Friend," I am not at all tempted to backslide into thinking that God is a "Magic Wand," to whom I make requests as a child might to Santa Claus. Also, the more familiar I am with God, addressed as "Patient and Persistent Black Friend," the more likely I am to identify my patient and persistent African-American friends with the image-of-God. f40W PO WE N4~E Tf4EE 4NP Wf4'1? By Carolyn Bohler Expanding God Metap M ~taphors and symbols for the lty cannot be voted upon. T emerge from a culture, communi and individual searching. During past two decades alone, literally h dreds of books and articles have dressed the question of what metap. to use for the Deity. We are in the ploratory stage: past metaphors have some of their meaning, but no mand has emerged for specific new metap While sometimes cumbersome or ch lenging, this is a very good stage. I fords us the opportunity to think th logically. What do we believe about and God's power? How are we with Gc Why do we say we are like God or Tn in the image of God? While we may think that we do "have a problem" with how Go named, our problem may be who we to be made in God's image. Our s when three years old, observed th God weren't sometimes "She" for then boys might "accidentally" that God was more like them thar. I girls. He was right. As we choose how to name the D for personal or corporate prayer o!" course, we can seek to find meta which will help to reveal God, wi hiding too much of God. Quite a c _ lenge. Luckily, monotheism is a in one God, not a belief in one phor. To correct the irrelevancy or id of past metaphors, we do not ne argue that anything goes. We d reach a truth about the Deity by ing just any object, trying it out God metaphor. We need to ask two tions of a metaphor which is bein sidered. What does that metaphor ' about God's power? How does metaphor affect our self-respect? respect is not the same as self-es' Open ii ··espect includes a healthy regard for -. 'gnity as well as the recognition !' obligations.) rting our personal prayer with ghty, Eternal, Everlasting Lord" how we identify and affiliate with Does this metaphor match our rstanding of God's power? Is God hty? Can God step in, coercing nt to take place, without human ration? If not, what does it mean almighty"? ur prayer started with "Creative d Leader,/I our ability to sense and ourselves as like and with God be skewed in another way. The experienced we are with music or cIs, the more we can get into the of God coordinating the musithe!r timing, tones, moods, and Honies. Consider the assumptions power. Jazz band leaders are not hty. Their power is persuasive eative. Their power lies in their "ng hard with the musicians, in sweating. They cannot make the .dans play their instruments well "ce one band member to coordi,ith another, but they can be a rful help. That power is coope. Each individual must act with rs and with God, the Jazz Band er, to develop beautiful music. onotheism is a elief in one God, ot a belief in one metaphor! m a lesbian mother, raising my -in the midst of a homophobic y, what does it mean to pray to 'enly Father"? The answer to that ion depends on my theology, \TI experience with a mother father, and my current context. ever, the metaphor, while ngthening my identification of es-who-father with God, likely not strengthen my self-respect esbian mother. How effective is enly Father" for the gay man oves and cares for his nieces and ws, but has no desire to be a etic father? ng 1995 Not many who are gay or lesbian can increase their own dignity and sense of obligations to others, or experience a healthy sense of their interdependence with the Deity, by using a heavy emphasis on Divine Father motifs. However, there may be occasions when such a divine metaphor could evoke healing. In a kairos moment, one may experience a release of accumulated barriers to one's human father, ushering in an urge to give grateful thanks to one's Divine Father. One Use or Many? M etaphors for the Deity may be used once, occasionally, or for a long period of time. Several times in my life I have used a divine metaphor for a specific occasion and never used it again. ~ C\ CHOOSING DIVINE METAPHORS Ask these questions about potential metaphors. Check as many as relevant. 1. Does it fit with my beliefs about God's power? _ God is "all powerful"-coercive _ God is "all powerful"-Iovingly persuasive _ God is persuasively responsive 2. What kind of identification does it evoke from me? _ self-respect, made "in the image of God"" _ respect for others, also made "in the image" 3. What kind of "withness" does it evoke from me? _ childlike dependence _ co-authored responsibility _ potter-clay-like moldability _ collegial interdependence 4. Can I pray with this metaphor? _ empowers me _ causes an amused smile, but strikes achord _ leaves me cold, flat 5. Will this metaphor be useful to me? _ once or twice, because of aparticular need _ for "this period" in my life _ for "quite awhile" -Carolyn Bohler <.; v Once, during an ecumenical gathering at a Roman Catholic church, I was drenched in images of the saints while praying about my relationship with my husband. That one time I prayed, "Divine Infinite Couple," feeling that whatever helps couples throughout eternity could help us. In a meeting, furious at people's silence, I once prayed, "Spokesperson God, Why don't they-or Youspeak up?/I For three years I breast-fed our two children. Then, Goddess gave me milk in the middle of the night when it seemed no Almighty Father would be of much use. A decade later, puzzled about menopause, I prayed "Clever, Creative Companion./I She helped me to realize that it is a clever idea to give women menopause, a pause in the middle of life to learn once again the lesson of ambiguity. Each of those divine metaphors served me well in specific personal situations. Over time, however, the metaphor II Creative and Nurturing God" has challenged and sustained me again and again as I have led corporate worship or prayed whispering into my pillow. The God to whom we pray remains "Who God Is." We can envision that presence more or less fully, responsibly, and healthfully. How we name that God powerfully affects our relation to God and to other humans .• Note This article is heavily rooted in Carolyn Bohler's book Prayer on Wings: A Search for Authentic Prayer. (San Diego: LuraMedia, 1990). For more discussion on ideas about identification and affiliation as spiritual needs, see especially pp.19-32. Carolyn Bohler is Emma Sanborn Tousant Professor ofPastoral Theology and Counseling at United Theological . Seminary in Dayton, Ohio, where she has taught for thirteen years. A United Methodist clergywoman and mother of two pre-teenagers, she has written two other books besides Prayer on Wings. 17 There is something about a river which has formed me, which still washes and pulls me. I grew up on the Hudson at a point where it spans two miles and is bordered by mountains all the way up the valley. It is an estuary, rushing fresh water down from the Adirondacks, pausing like the still moment at the exhalation ofbreath, and then pulling up the thick green smell of the sea. Something about tides and the constant undercurrent is in me, making me always yearn for movement. Journeying is my life-breath. One evening when I was still young enough to be living at home, I walked down to the beach where I had swum almost every day for every summer since I was seven. That night the tide thrusting forward as I came up for air and my legs thrashing together in a strong push, I came into the current. The shores stretched wide on either side .of me like the thighs of a woman giving birth. I felt for the first time the immense, powerful rush of the water on its journey sea-ward. The river bore me up, cradled me, and demanded that I travel south. I had to labor upriver to stay in one place. The creative, driving force of that river is my first image of God born of experience rather than learned from a Sunday school book. It is a dynamic image which has its roots in the interactive spirit of place. My thoughts that evening as the light faded to my left were that God is a lover, kissing every pore lay alongside my childhood as I ah :a. hoped a lover would lie beside me . bed-sensuous, stable, always chang: Growing up on the Hudson, I lear the concepts of north and south _ro its source and outlet. I learned from tides of the estuary to wait out the c:of my childhood depressions. I lear to be a journeyer. River people or themselves along the cut of the va When we leave, it feels as if the margin of our life-story has been er Since I left the Hudson Valley, I learned that I carry that margin ,.. me because God is within me. Go river-lover, continues to border and shape to me. wa s ebbing and the water smelled clean, less heavy and salty than when the sea is pushed upstream. I waded out as the sun's lower rim tipped the edge of the palisades. The river was turning its hidof my salt-wet, nearly naked body. God den color. I dove into a murky wa e,ana.----came up in the breast ro e, determined for the fi ime to {) stay"" within the swi ming ea boundaries but instead;o ck under the · weedy cord hel by floats and to Rull ¥_----way b nd the rocky hr~The riv: widened . its around me until,7 'ning in prayer and then ... < ~~. Open Hands 18 ·our years I lived knowing I was xual and keeping it entirely silike four years of swimming the unrelenting tug of the curI~ is hard work doing the crawl, nwheeling around and legs ..g, all for the sake of staying in e. I knew that being honest and about the gift I am given-this . cated nature of mine which me sometimes to men and someo women-was essential before I ontinue to grow in my relationh God. I got tired fighting my hobic excuses for not sharing my _.-;.ov;,.t with anyone. I grew exhausted es which screamed that I would ". job teaching seventh graders, ould scare off women as well as om intimate relationships, that I right to come out because I had ave a sexual relationship with e. en I began to think that hiding h was harder than telling it, I imagine what would happen if I swimming and allowed the cur"ash me south. I turned my fa toward the sky and let the tension and effort in my limbs fade like the orange light about the palisades. The water beneath me grew black. I spun slowly as the stars emerged. When I breathed in, the air became solid in my body, filling and sustaining me. In all that darkness, my perimeters were defined by breath. I passed under the bridge and the humming of its high steel struts. I passed under many bridges and through the walled, oily waters of the big city where fluorescent lights of skyscrapers smeared the stars. Heavy barges lurk~d in the periphery of my vision. Always the liquid substance of journeying held me up. At that unassuming opening where the river finally arrives, with the coast barely visible at the center of night, I was born into the ocean. The ocean is a dangerous place for me. It is where perhaps God really exists and where perhaps the dream of who I could be is not a dream at all. more"'" 1995 19 The longer I live with my river image of God, the more I understand how I, a bisexual woman, am created in that image. My river is an estuary with its tides pulling the salt water upstream and then pushing fresh water south. Everything is God-the current coming from the mountains, the river's journey, the emptying in the ocean, the ocean. The backwash is God. The ebb and flow and the still moment at the changing tide are God. Sometimes my journey retreats on itself, crossing back over familiar territory before it can continu~. It is the to do is write about bisexuality and spirituality. What seems to pull me further from my destination is simply part of the journey to get there. I need this time for my thoughts to mature and to get some perspective on the rough drafts of chapters I wrote last summer. God's will can pull in two directions toward one end. My God is bisexual! If I trust that my will, deep inside, is also the movement of the water, then I will be carried. This is the flow tide now, the thrusting up of seaweed over fresh water, the creeping up on dry banks. This give and take of breathing that prc)P~~::::::::t~tHIl~ of filling, and waiting for the me forward. Nothing is more important for the spiritual well-being of gay Christians than healthy images of the Divine which spring from our experiences and work in dynamic relationship with our daily struggles. We need the constant reminder that who we are mirrors what is holy. Too many images of ourselves are destructive. God-within-us is frightening and infinitely beautiful. By naming God from what we know of God rather from what we have been taught we dive deep into the pulsing current of our lives. T ':-A-J(l'rIrpw is a member of Prospect ~ea..$1€~ftlJ)alst Church, a ReconCongregation i 'M-lr1'ltzeatJO[I',S, Minnentl~ she th grade and is workin:r -Ti'lWi;;lrct-.hPr Mast by Miriam Therese Winter LIVING WATER Living Water, like a river, like a fountain, like the sea. Living Water, like a river, All who thirst for Living Water, ever rising, rise in me. turn to You, Unfailing Spring. Wash our wounds and cleanse o ur spi" · Living Water, So urce of Life for everything. full and free. Living Water, Cool and c leanse, live in me. Unfailing Spring, Cool and comfort Living Water, Living Water, everything. Living Water, full a nd free. Rising Water, rising Water, Living Wate r, Living Water, Rising Wate r, rise in me. Living Water Living Spring; Cool and comfort, Comfort everything. Copyright © 1976, 1987 by Medical Mission Sisters. Used with permission of copyright owner. Note This song is sung in parts to music composed by Miriam Therese Winter. Words and music can be found in Winter's Womansong, published by Medical Mission Sisters, 8400 Pine Road, Philadelphia, PA 19111.203/233-0875. Open Hands 20 , ral2~§ong r1995 Note This pra~er poem was first published in The World, Jul~/August 1994. Used with permission. Mark Belletini is minister at Starr King Unitarian Church in Hayward, California. You ow Icould choose fancier words: ofall Being, Ultimate Reality, Mystery ofCreation. somehow today Ineed to imagine more intimately, 5 f Icould reach out my arms and hold Youtenderly ea friend whoinvites my best love. 'erhaps it's thedusky scent ofsummer sycamoreleaves ':'at somehow suggests such intimacy, "eminding me ofthe comforting fragrance ofa friend's cotton shirt rounded on supporting shoulders in a hug. Don't be scared ofthe word, Friend. Ido holdit in high esteem. Loo~ just as Idon't blame any friend ofmine forbloodshed in Dalmatia or volcanoes in the Philippines, Ido not blame You, Friend, nor do Icower before You in terror, as ifYou were a bully. From You today Iask no more than what any other friend gladlyoffers all the time (although, like You, they often don 1know it).a sense ofperspective, and the redemptive laughter that goes with it, a sense of being loved, ofbelonging, a feeling ofimmense gratefulness for everystar in heaven. When You are close, as You are now, Iget a sense ofthe Alleluia curled up in every fragment of my mortal life, an Alleluia despite the unbalance, the hardship, the pains that life is heir fo by being itself. Praise to You, my Frien d, forYour steadfastness in being there moment by moment, like my breath, like my heartbeat, like my rhythmic hopes. I'm working on being as good a Friend to myself as You've been to me. Sometimes I'm harder on myselfthan You could ever be. At other times Ilet myself off, while Youjust keep on expecting me to be the best I can be. Thanks. Without You there walking by my side, with Your arm draped over my shoulder, or a twinkle or tear in Your ubiquitous eye as the situation demands, my life would be flat, not full ofsuperb joy and rich sorrow as it is, Thanks. Oh, yes, and all the ancient praise, Sanctus, Baruch Atah, Alhamdulila, Metta. And not a little love. WJr..Dr..V JNc:.r..USJ"t-A. ~ii",e We c:.iill Go By ....owArd B. WArre", .Jr. I mages-those names by which we call God-grow richly out of our exThe kerygma, the proclamation, was periences and life journeys. In the that God is with them/us fully. Overmidst of our journeys, the kerygma night, God became to me forever liThe (Greek word meaning proclamation), Wildly Inclusive God." the heart of the Gospel, is experienced The One who gives life and an image appears. The One who overwhelmingly loves The name, liThe Wildly Inclusive those created God," grows out of three inter-related The One who is with us now and experiences over a three-year time span forever in my journey. First, I discovered I was A very practical Trinity indeed! HIV+ and lived with that horrible, false As a child, youth, and adult growing guilt/shame growing out of the early up in the church community, I carried lies, myths, and stigma. Second, I iman early childhood shame and guilt that mersed myself in the Scriptures, letting became falsely confused with my sexual truth replace lies, and opened myself to orientation. It always made me feel secGod's call to come out as being HIV+/ ond class. Even after ordination, I chose AIDS and gay. Third, I was working as a always to be an associate minister, as if I director of pastoral care atan HIV+/AIDS could not be a responsible vehicle for service and support center with so many God's love to flow through. This was so folks who felt that God would not be heightened by my non-integration of with them because of their sexual orimy sexuality and spirituality. entation or other reasons. Yet, by the grace of God, beautiful ministries developed and I always wondered, "Will I be fully touched, PSALM 10 Based on Psalm 86 Bow down your ear and hear me, 0 Holy One, first class someday?" In as my soul is ragged and needy. In this time preserve and protect my soul the three years before I and the souls of the lavender People, discovered I was HIV+, I for we cry unto you daily and we are holy. was plunged into teach- In good and bad times we call upon you, ing Kerygma Bible Study. for you are good, ready to forgive It required-2-3 hours of and overflowing with mercy. daily direct Bible study. Especially in the times of our trouble we will call upon you, I was being prepared by for there is no one like you and your works reflect you. The Wildly Inclusive Someday all will come to you and glorify your name, God to one day use this for you are God: Creator, Prophet, Spirit, Shepherd whose mercy raised my soul from lowest hell; name. One evening Now the proud, self-righteous ones have risen up against us. The solemn assemblies are now assemblies of violence. learned that a colleague, There is a mean spirit of arrogance who had been so pastoin what has always been your inclusive home. ral to my face, had been They wish to push us out, to make us strangers at your gate working to get rid of me. because we are open about thefact that we are I could not respondlesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, transgender, created by you. until the message of my morning Bible study (lsa owildly inclusive God full of grace and mercy, sustain my soul. 50:4-11; 51:6) came to Give us a token of good to show them that hate our inclusion me: The mighty hand of so that they will be ashamed. God will lift you up. All so that we may live in your house forever. It was the experiHoward B. Warren, Jr. enced images of God's Indianapolis, Indiana hand, God's arms, God's Note This psalm was first printed in the More Light Psalter, published by Presbytewatch over, and care of, rians for Lesbian & Gay Concerns, January 1995. Used with permission. me that created my 22 name for God. These were images of a God who does not simply stay in the church but goes outside to the strangers at the gate. Here was a God to whom there is no outcast or "other." There simply is no asterisk of exclusion to the incredible, inclusive, compassionate love of God. I am sure I first used the name, Wildly Inclusive God, in a hospital room to help alleviate the fear of someone living/dying with AIDS. Perhaps I first used it with two gay males as a name to bless their earthly love forever before one of them went to God's eternal home, held in God's arms forever. This name by which I call God is associated with Isaiah 43 where God calls everyone by name. The name grows out of "Lost in the Stars," the musical version of Cry The Beloved Countr)/J in which the black African pastor who is looking for his lost son sings about him being lost in the stars but that God knows each star. This name for God grows out of Ethyl Waters singing, "God's eye is on the sparrow." The name "Wildly Inclusive God" grows out of m;' teenage reaction to Blanche's words i Streetcar Named Desire, where she sa.;s "I've always depended on the kindnes of strangers." The name for God grO\':~ out of songs like "You'll Never \IVa.. Alone" and "There's a Place for Us" an "There's a Wideness in God's Mercy. At sixty, I thank God for finding me enriching me, and enabling me to naIr. God in this way. I look forward to next name I will be led to discover. H about you? What is God prompting y to call forth? Go for it! Let that imag name, or title grow out of God, you, an others.'" Howard B. Warren, Jr., is director of pastoral care at the Damien Center in Indianapolis, Indiana. He recently celebrated his thirty-fifth anniversary as an ordained clergy in the Presbyterian Church, USA. Open Hands "\ By Lynn Mickelson ~ ;:s--'-....... ~ everal weeks ago Iwas feeling very sad and lonely. I was feeling my losses-Dad's death, an ended rel5hip, many precious friends with oJ I longed for comfort. That night, rayed for peace and consolation, a re sprang into my mind of a 'Cii."'nTnID with open arms offering to hold . saw no head or face, only her arms orso. As I nestled my grief-ridden ainst her naked breasts and belly, e"s I was resting in the strong arms . I slept deeply and woke the next ling filled with serenity. I was in hat my communion with God d be so tangible and physical. This rience was not so much a sexualizof God as a receiving of comfort m a lover. So often we carry our deep"';ounds in our bodies long after they e disappeared from our minds and rts. God related not only to myemo15 and thoughts but also to my body. mingaNew -Image ven't always related to God as lover. . fact, not too many years ago, I .d have thought such a notion to rovocative, ifnot blasphemous. Topraying to God as lover is as natuand truthful as being alive. :: hen I was a child, my parents ht me to pray. This was very impor. because it showed me that I could ," with God and that God was lis.. g. Yet, soon the memorized prayers me just words which rarely engaged mi nd or heart. My image of God .ng 1995 then was of the benevolent, grandfatherly white guy who somehow lived in the sky. As I grew and learned about prayer petitions, God became (as one friend puts it) a cosmic vending machine. Neither of these images were helpful. I longed for a relationship with God like those I read about in the Bible. There, women and men seemed to know God and God knew them. They talked and argued and celebrated. Itwas in "coming out" that my relationship with God came alive and deepened. During those months of internal anguish and struggle to affirm a reality I did not want, God was my constant companion. I argued, struggled, and wept. Through itall, I, kept getting affirming messages from surprising places like my church, St. Paul-Reformation in St. Paul, Minnesota. (When I started attending there, I had no idea that it was Lutherans Concerned's first Reconciled in Christ congregation. I didn't know that it had just started Wingspan Ministry, staffed by Anita Hill and Leo Treadway, an open lesbian and gay man.) One day while I was pacing down historic Summit Avenue, a message came to mind with alarming clarity: "Your sexuality is my gift to you, Lynn." God had not abandoned me, but like a lover remained steadfast, sharing and respecting my journey. Healing the Divine Mind/Body Split As I discovered and became a more fully embodied person, celebrating my sexuality and erotic power, I also realized the embodiment of God. Much is written about healing the mind/body split in human beings. I believe we also need to restore to God all the sensuousness of Creation. The One who created the wonder of our earth and the wonder of our bodies is not divorced from that creation. God is not a sort of cosmic computer or ethereal spirit. God is tangible. We experience God embodied through each other and through nature. Several years ago, I made an unforgettable hike to Holden Lake while at Holden Village, a Christian retreat center in the Cascade Mountains. Surrounded by sensuous mountains, I was reminded of EI Shaddai-the breasted God. Descending into the valley, with the air becoming moist and steamy, was quite erotic. I felt filled to bursting with the beauty, life, and the erotic power which surrounded and touched me. My heart was singing; each step was an affirmation and praise. I understood in those hours the ecstatic and intimate prayers of my Christian mystic foremothers. God is my lover who relates to me wholly with spirit, mind, heart, and body. We need to restore to God all the sensuousness ofCreation. This relating to God as lover means a profound affirmation of the sacred erotic power both in the Divine and in ourselves. God, my lover, affirms all of who I am. With God I am completely naked, vulnerable, and exposed, but God is not distant from me. God is present, affirming, sharing, loving. With God I am completely known and invited into a relationship. In this relationship, God is the intimate partner of my so~l.T Lynn Mickelson is an attorney in St. Paul, Minnesota, and legal program coordinator for the Min nesota AIDS Project. 23 (f{l~[p)~ a~ @@[p)))~ a(f{l~@~~ @@w)WJC!tJ~cruw t?({@W@[? cr~ ~C!tJ@cr@ @~ctJ ~@W@WJ@~\( By Caroline Presnell Made in God's Image Words and music: Caroline Presnell I~ ~ JtJ J)I 3 J J J IJ J J. IiI§J II Be-~ond us, One of us, VJith-in and with us. © 1994 Practice >} To avoid breaki~~fhe prayerful mo~"lrice started, give cl1recti0I1S (belq~i]for the movements before starting. Practice {QPping and walking ~h~.circles comfort.~ble. r}·i;L\.···· .. ~t\ Djff;ctions foWJPtoveJ.' .};~fter we have le~t~ed the m~~ieiJ~~der will stafld ~p. Maint~inirig the q~~~t rri~.Od, f:6rm two circles~~5ipg OPPOSit¢iqtreS)ions, onei~s~de the otJ1~rl;rith eacqtndi~dual tpe per~on aheag> > ·i.>·<\·ii/:\ .•••••• ..L\} ;?.(pn7circle w#l. be n;oving clockwise, the other counterclockwise~ .::ersons unqble.!to walk \ j~s~;tnside th~Fentertircle, grtgst outside the outer circle, facin~~~coming l!al~7rs.) ••.. "1'erill singt~e t14I?-e OnCti~\place, perhaps~~th eyes closeq ... ':{hen, as w~~ggin the tirt~s~~rt slowlywal~ing the circ1: s. As you ch~nf~nd move, lqek il}Fo the f~~~ of each ar1p.&9.egni,?t .~he qiv~ne inthat P7fson. You wiUlnake the cornPI;te, round·several ·eg.~Q.~n111 ripg ap'~ll (or(give an<;>ther signal)!orYQu to stop tA0Yipg. Bothcircles center and w¢wills:frig the/<:llant ~9ttly one 19st}tirne< . . . ... ... . . ... ....... :':": Begin·;·· Sittin&.2o~fOr~~bIY relax~g/t~~~in tpe ~§~if as:~?ro~p. 's,ihgiio~er siqjvly~iny, manY¥ifnes, jlrttil .< everyone ~n()\Vs i~well. As the ~ip~!ng~egins to flow effOr!less!g.r( it will becc)~~ .~ nra.ver'tu l ready, give thrLsigpal (by stand!~g up~ f?r combining th~ inu~~c with move~~Jlt: When rea9M;tq stop, give thesigp~lt2face center andsing\thant softlybq~ l~st Note The music and directions may be freely reprinted or photocopied for use in worshipful settings. The music must include composer citation. No part of the work may be published in any form without written permission of author/composer. Caroline Presnell is a member ofWheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in Evanston, Illinois, where this musical prayer chant was first used at a retreat. She serves as a member of the Advisory Committee ofOpen Hands. Open Hands 24 Bring Many Names Brian Wren Carlton Young (J =69) Westchase. 9.10.11.9. v.............. _...... • -.. ' 1 '..I r7 ~ I{ .... .t:. '"' II~ V II "l ,v .----* .. ...., ~ ...~ -4~ ~ - Op.Y I "---,,fr ~ " --r •• I '-----1. Bring man -y nam~s, I beau -ti -ful and good, I 2. Strong moth -er God, work -ing night and day, 3. Warm fa -ther God, hug -ging ev -ery child, 4. Old ach -ing God, grey with end -less care, S. Young grow -ing God, ea -ger, on the move, 6. Great liv -ing God, nev -er ful -ly known, ,. .r. I ......... . n !-' 1-II . rJ L. c..~ I-' '-' n I "" r • [ .... v 1.1 t:. " ~ I I r u f 1 L IJ 1.1 "'I{ "" II~ V I ..... .... .... • --J •,... --,~ -J ....I 1":1.-. r ..I ~ ---• 0 -77 TJ r r J I I 1 cel -e -brate in par -a -ble and sto -ry, ho -li -ness in plan -ning all the won -ders of cre -a -tion, set -ting each e feel -ing all the strains of hu -man liv -ing, car -ing and for-calm -ly pierc -ing e -vil's new dis -guis -es, glad of good sursee -ing all, and fret -ting at our blind -ness, cry -ing out for joy -ful dark -ness far be -yond our see -ing, clos -er yet than 1 I d I I I ~ ~. ,.., --II· I r~ !-' u ( -" -----[ .r.. L '" ~ I .... v ..... 1.1 r (\ I I 1.I II 1\ , -In" v -.. , • -.. • -..-'" -' , v ...~ ~ ~ b""" # ~t· ~ "'III i i r '-"f ... glo -ry, liv -ing, lov -ing God: Hail and ho qua -tion, ge -ni -us at play: Hail and ho giv -ing till we're re -can -ciled: Hail and ho pris -es, wis -er than de -spair: Hail and ho jus -tice, giv -ing all you have: Hail and ho breath -ing, ev -er -last -ing home: Hail and ho I 1 ,....L""II.,--r~ ~ -'-' .... "" ~ r 1/ ~ 7 "" ~. -... .... v • -....I - 0 I i ~ • ! 1-5 11 6 II ~r san -na, bring man -y names! san -na, strong moth -er God! san -na, warm fa -ther God! san -na, old ach -ing God! san -na, young grow -ing God! great liv -ing God! I Copyright © 1989 by Hope Publishing Co., Carol Stream, IL 60188. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Permission to reproduce this hymn must be obtained directly from Hope Publishing Company, 1-800-323-1049. Spring 1995 25 On God-Images A deep longing is sweeping through many of us these days, a longing to name the Divine in our own particular ways out of our own particular holy moments, holy spaces, and holy interactions. Many of the traditional names for God do not match either our personal, private experiences of the Divine or our corporate, public experiences of worship. So, we speak out God's names: River God, Wildly Inclusive God, Patient and Persistent Black Friend, Lover God, Sophia God. We in God's Image-God in Ours We are claiming more and more thoroughly the biblical announcement that we are "made in the image of God." All of us need to claim that wondrous announcement. A three-year-old boy caught the signficance: if God isn't sometimes "She" then boys might aCcidentally think that God is more like boys than like girls (Bohler, p.16). More than that, and probably beyond the little boy's comprehension, is ~he fact that girls might consistently think that boys are like God-made in God's imageand girls are not. Many of us have been insisting further that God is Black and Brown as well as White. Some of us acknowledge God as young and old. Some of us are now naming what we have long felt-that God is lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered as well as heterosexual. With growing insistence, therefore, we affirm that if we all are made in God's image, God is to be named in our images, all our images. The Divine One is our Earth Mother as well as our Heavenly Father, our Black and Brown Friend as well as our White Friend, our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Lover as well as our heterosexual Lover. Intimate God-Images I was struck with how many of the writers in this issue used God-images of Friend and Lover. We long to connect with the Divine in intimate ways. We imagine God interacting with us in human ways. We want to relate to our God as compassionate, steadfast Friend or Lover rather than Almighty, everlasting, Heavenly Father or Lord which implies distance and subservience. We really want to believe in incarnation and pentecost: God embodied, God with us, God among us, God in us. How sad then that at least one new denominational hymnal prints Shirley Erena Murray's hymn, "Loving Spirit," but omits the friend and lover verse: Friend and lover; in your closeness I am known and held and blessed: in your promise is my comfort, in your presence I may rest. 1 It seems that mother, father, and spirit images of God (in the other verses) are acceptable, but friend and lover images are not. The lesbigay and transgendered communities are bringing more sensual, sensuous, and intimate God-language and Godimages out of the closet. Mickelson's (p.23) grief-stricken self nestling against God's naked breasts for comfort as with a steadfast lover may disturb us. It is, however, a powerful image of a comforting and steadfast God. Can we expand our image of God to include such images? Or is our God too small? Too non-sexual? Too distant? In the final analysis, of course, God is always more than we can name; God is I AM WHO I AM. Yet, God is also who and what we name God. God is who and what we experience as Divine. Our names for God are just that-our human names for the Mysterious Presence. There is no other way. And each of us has one-and many-names for the Divine. Ifonly we can feel free to speak them. Note 1Shirley Erena Murray, In Every Corner Sing (Carol Stream, Illinois: Hope Publishing Company, 1992), no. 48. tlaJl ~qrA:rtifle~ror Wint~r 1996 l!!)een ¢ . ~andJ d;hder atJd !;~nsgender: };,xploring tl1.e Issues,' Sh~,ring thl"Stories , 8~;~.;;; .. ~_ , This theme will exp!ore current understandings of gend~r and > transgender and offer ~' variety ot personal storIes and reflections. We tnvite transgendered people to share their s,tories. We also invite pastors to share their experiences and ref1ection~ about ministering to and with transgendered ~ople in ourwelcoming church community. Other artides are well:=ome. 900-2 700 words. Call with your idea: July 1 Final manuscript due: November 1 Ifyou would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCp, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 26 Open Hands mments &Letters as Friend e image of God I most often use is Friend. I see God as one who is beside me, encouraging and strengthening carryon, enabling me and giving me hugs, and stretch.d challenging me. God loves me deeply and does not let .. . me. It is important to me to think of God as being here . me, working with me . contrast is the image of God as some grandfatherly, :-ded, white man up in the sky. This distancing of God lends ••0 worm theology-God in the sky is to be praised, while n beings are dirty worms groveling on the earth. This logy's emphases on sinning, judgment, redemption, and _.ng God go together with beliefs that we should just wait .. the Second Coming for there to be justice on earth. ry not to base my faith on that kind of theology. I believe s helping us change the world now! We are not supposed it. God's sexual minority children have a Friend holding ands, comforting us, goading us, and helping us extend hands to others. -Tim Eckert, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Canadian Representative on Lutherans Concerned Board 1: A Worship Service on God-Images n relating to the various groups within the Mennonite rch of which I am a member, I have found that using scripe and familiar hymns to speak of Mother God is quite efve. fi rst realized this over ten years ago in my home church in " Park, Illinois. Rather than beginning with people's heads, ided to appeal to their hearts, since most of our resistance change is not intellectual but emotional. I requested an ortunity to lead a worship service on maternal images for in scripture. 'oVe did not have a sermon that morning. Instead, through .ipture readings and quiet reflection, through hymns and a ny, we spent an hour in the presence of God as a woman in .. dbirth (Isa 42), as Mother Eagle (Deut 32:11-12), and as ther Hen (Lk 13:34). The mood was so well established that body blinked an eye when we sang the old gospel song, nder His Wings I Am Safely Abiding," and changed every e of the twelve male pronouns to Her. It had to be her wings; at chick runs to a rooster for safety? The rich sharing time afterward surprised me. Women and men talked about their own secret female imagery for God, or recounted childhood experiences with their mothers. A friend with no previous interest in inclusive language told me later that she was converted. I have used this service several times since, and it continues to be effective. -Reta Finger, Harrisonburg, Virginia From Daughters of Sarah, July/August 1991 Excerpted and used with permission Idea 2: A Workshop on God-Images Spend sonie time in Bible study using the many references found in articles of this issue. Sing hymns with different Godimages. Provide art materials and invite people to draw, paint, finger-paint, or sculpt their personal God-image. -Editor On "Healing Broken Institutions" Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I am returning the copies of the current issue which arrived in today's mail. There is a very offensive article about a seven step plan to heal broken institutions (George McClain's "Healing Broken Institutions," Winter 1995)...1 take offense at the article's mechanistic presuppositions of how institutions can overcome bigotry and brokenness. If it were that simple, racism would have ended in this country with the Civil War in 1865 and from that point onward any of the other identified evils of western society should have been swiftly and forever ended as well. In a mechanistic universe, we should have reached perfection several generations ago. I suspect the reasons for any vote 'on an issue of controversy within a congregation are always very complex, and possibly even unique to the individuals within that congregation. When a congregation votes the "right" way, there needs to be continuing compassion for the losers, even as there should be when a congregation votes the "wrong" way. And whichever way a congregation votes, the issue is seldom resolved. I doubt if there is even one Reconciling Congregation in which no homophobia is to be found either institutionally or personally... Kermit Krueger, Pastor The United Church ofRogers Park (RC) Chicago, Illinois Readers Invited to Respond Send us your comments oli past IQemes and artigles OJ your concerns about particular struggles in the welcoming church com~ munity. Write a short personal reflectionpieceon one of me themes for upcoming issues (see box on page 26). Send to EdHor, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, It 60641. Fa~: 312/736:.5475. -inter 1995 27 RE-IMAGINING GOD Ciark, Linda, Marian Ronan and Eleanor Walker. Image-Breaking/Image-Building. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1981. Includes general discussion of re-imaging God. See especially the poem "Baker-Woman God." Craighead, Meinrad. The Mother's Songs: Images of God the Mother. New York: Paulist Press, 1986. This small (79-page) book consists mostly of colored illustrations. Flinders, Carol Lee. Enduring Grace: Living Portraits of Seven Women Mystics. San Francisco: Harper, 1993. Includes descriptions of Clare ofAssisi, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Julian of Norwich, Catherine of Siena, Catherine of Genoa, Teresa of Avila, and Therese of Lisieux. Fox, Matthew. Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality. Santa Fe: Bear & Company, 1983. See Theme 11, "Emptying: Letting Go of Images and Letting Silence Be Silence," and Theme IS, "From Cosmos to Cosmogenesis: Our Divinization as Images of God Who Are Also Co-Creators." Marstin, Ronald. Beyond Our Tribal Gods: The Maturing ofFaith. Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis Books, 1979. "Where people are called to the worship of a God whose love is understood to embrace all the world's people, then the essential idolatry lies in accepting as God's will a social arrangement in which the lives of some are reckoned cheap" (p. 10). Nelson, James B. Embodiment: An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology. Minneapolis: Augsburg Publishing House, 1978. See especially his discussion, pp. 238-46, in chapter on liThe Church as Sexual Community" where he explores how our images of God have been both too sexual and not sexual enough. See also his Body Theology (1992). Phillips, J.B. Your God Is Too Small. New York: Macmillan, 1955. An "oldie" which provides interesting reading about the need to expand our God-imaging process; written before the feminist re-imagining process existed. The book's use of exclusive male imagery for people and God just underscores the need for theological re-imagining work today. Sur, Carolyn Worman. The Feminine Images of God in the Visions ofSaint Hildegard ofBingen's Scivias. The Edwin Mellen Press, 1993. Exploration of six God-images that German prophet and visionary Hildegard of Bingen used in her 12th century work, Scivias: Living Light, Terra Mater (Earth Mother), Eve, Synagoga, Mary, and Ecclesia (Church). WORSHIP RESOURCES Emswiler, Tom Neufer. "Who Knows the Face of God?" Sisters and Brothers Sing. 2d ed. Normal, Illinois: The Wesley Foundation, Illinois State University, 1977, p. 76. This song lifts up biblical images of God as mother, father, shepherd, woman searching for coin, hen, young girl, old man, and others. Howard, Julie. We Are the Circle: Celebrating the Feminine in Song and Ritual. Collegeville, Minn.: Liturgical Press, 1993. Includes scripture references, prayers, songs, and ritual suggestions. See song, "I Am the Vine." Winter, Miriam Therese. Woman Prayer/Woman Song: Resources for Ritual. Oak Park, Illinois: Meyer Stone Books, 1987. See especially two ritual tunes on God as water and God as fire. Wren, Brian. Bring Many Names. Carol Stream, Illinois: Hope Publishing Company, 1989. A wonderful variety of songs celebrating different names for the Divine One. CHILDREN'S RESOURCES Sasso, Sandy Eisenberg. In God's Name. Illustrations by Phoebe Stone. Woodstock, Vermont: Jewish Light Publishing, 1994. In poetic text and vibrant illustrations, this modern fable celebrates the diversity and, at the same time, the unity of all people. A multicultural, nondenominational and nonsectarian spiritual celebration of all people of the world and their belief in one God. (From book jacket) Wood, Douglas. Old Turtle. Illustrations by Cheng-Khee Chee. Duluth: Pfeifer-Hamilton Publishers, 1992. The animals argue over their various images of God until Old Turtle, in her wisdom, tells them God is wind, mountain, and all the other images they have. OTHER RESOURCES Anderson, Elizabeth, ed. Daughters ofSarah:The Magazine for Christian Feminists. Published quarterly. $18. To subscribe: Daughters of Sarah, 2121 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 6020l. See especially Winter 1995 issue on "Courageous Voices: Our Spiritual Mothers" which includes a great cover image of "wisdom" and an article about Hildegard of Bingen and Catherine of Siena. Bridge Building Images. P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. This group features artists who create icons and other spiritual images, drawing on Judeo-Christian, Goddess, Native American, and other traditions. Catalog available. 802/8648346: Fax 802/865-2434. Joern, Pamela Carter, ed. Re-Imagining: Quarterly Newsletter of the Re-Imagining Community. Membership, $20. To subscribe: Re-Imagining, 122 W. Franklin Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55404. Articles, poetry, art, news, and resources. First issue focused on liRe-Imagining Jesus, Christ, Us"; second on "ReImagining: Body and Soul." Open Hands 28 ucing our New Welcoming Churches ewelcome these twelve new churches which have joined ~ ~rowing grassroots movement in recent months. .................. ..~A.TA.~.. OPEN -----m-- AffiRMING ~ CONGIlEGAnONS ....A .. .................. ..~A.TA.~.. [ AND AFFIRMING mmunity Congregational Church cia, California rue to its name, this Bay Area church of 106 members s seriously the call to be a community that "rejoices with se who rejoice and weeps with those who weep." Their life ether is marked by openness. They are open about the .lggles they face in everyday life and seek meaningful ways elp each other through them. In their worship life, they open to the Spirit and willing to try new ways to celebrate express their faith. Their current pastoral search process encouraged them to focus on who they are and what they h to accomplish as a church. They look forward to discuss-hat with candidates. eCongregational Church, UCC dlebury, Vermont Located in a county famous for dairy farming and Middle• ry College, this 400-member congregation includes people all ages and life stages, including singles, families, and many .red folks. Members are looking forward to hosting the An~l Meeting of the Vermont Conference this spring. The rch's ONA decision is one expression of its strong comtment to social awareness. While there has not been any :-mal decision, they have had conversation about ceremo. s of blessing. irst Congregational Church IE ... 'eka, California Part of an area previously sustained by logging and fishing, .e approximately SOmembers of this congregation share the rrent concerns of economic hardship. Aspiritually vital faith mmunity, First Church brings a more "liberal bent" to the nerally conservative atmosphere of this part of northern lifornia. Its ONA decision, however, was not without struggle. .e church is now engaged in a pastoral search process and is hopeful about the promise of new leadership and new directions for ministry. First Congregational, UCC Mankato, Minnesota Just over an hour from the Twin Cities, First Congregational is the only UCC church in this university town. Its 210 members come from various religious backgrounds and are diverse in age and family configuration. Since the 1970s, the church has met in the Multi-Church Center which it shares with a United Methodist congregation and, until recently, a Baptist congregation. As it looks to the future, the church is in process of deciding whether to build its own facility to accommodate its growing congregation. Mindful of the future expression of its ONA commitment, it may form a new ONA committee to address that challenge. Niles Congregational, UCC Fremont, California Niles is a growing suburban congregation of 233 members with a strong tradition of involvement in the community, conference, and wider denomination. Members of all ages take part in its active Sunday School, dynamic music program, and ministry with the local homeless shelter. Expressions of the church's ONA commitment include a newspaper ad (with a shortened form of their ONA statement) and announcements to the church of gay/lesbian events. Some members also participated in the UCC contingent of the San Francisco Gay/Lesbian Pride Parade. Zion United Church of Christ Henderson, Kentucky Increasing in number from 15 to 200 members and friends in a little over two years, this dynamic, urban-related congregation is seeking to insure its stability while continuing to grow. It is an "intentional community" in which members write personal covenants about their relationship to the church and also sign a communal covenant. The church is hoping to receive a grant from one of the UCC's national boards which would enable them to hire an additional full-time staff person. Through their 'community meeting house, called "Paff Haus," the church offers encouragement and space to various community groups, including Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and a gay men's support group. .. .-.".. .-.".-....-.-.·:.·'.-.·.-.·.·.T.·".·....~.-.-. . .;..-.-.-. ~"}!;~~~ff~p _ ~i -i National Gathering Of.,the • United Church Coalition ,for Lesbian/Gay Concerns : "Hurtling Tow;lrd the Mif/tnnium: • Political Uphljaval/ GS}<ifRower and> Our Dreams for the Church" June 26-29,1995 BerK~ley,.,Califorrtia ~\'~:i: ':~:!"_:::' il;/ ;mr 4~)!1~!' Registt{{iion informa1io'h':: UCCUGC,'18 N. Colfege Street, Athens, OH 45701 • 614/593-7301 : • • ..{,I1.,,,i . ",. • ,II~• .• '[• .·!II,~II_• •• ~:'.• ",.~" • .• _. ".~._.~• ..• ". _. pring 1995 29 Macalester-Plymouth United Church st. Paul, Minnesota Macalester-Plymouth became the 63rd More Light Church on January 22. As a united church, Macalaster-Plymouth has also become an Open and Affirming congregation in the United Church of Christ. The decision was the culmination of a study process which began in the fall of 1993 and included a number of adult education forums, all-church retreats, questionnaires, visiting preachers, and monthly task force meetings. Silver Spring Presbyterian Church Silver Spring, Maryland Silver Spring is a congregation of 275 members actively involved with counseling programs, food kitchens, and Habitat for Humanity as part of their commitment to justice and "the common pilgrimhood of all people." Silver Spring engaged in a deliberate More Light study process lasting several years. The More Light declaration, adopted on December 12, was delayed a bit while the congregation dealt with major termite damage to the sanctuary. Church of the Redeemer UMC Cleveland Heights, OH Church of the Redeemer's 350 members reflect a rich diversity culturally and socio-economically. Its vibrant music/ worship program includes three choirs: gospel, chancel, and bell. The congregation lives out its "Community of Love and Service in Christ" motto in varied ministries, including Habitat for Humanity and a weekly meal program for homeless persons. Ministries with children are a strong emphaSiS, with many enrichment opportunities for children beyond the Sunday School time. Redeemer's strength lies in its broad base of committed lay leaders. Grace United Methodist Church Chicago, Illinois As the oldest Protestant church in the Logan Square neighborhood, Grace traces its roots back 125 years and three congregations. Its 80 members include both lifetime members who commute back from the suburbs and young professionals who live in the neighborhood. Grace has a high profile in its community because of its ministry of hospitality. Aspira Community High School, serving Puerto Rican at-risk students, and the Puentes ("Bridges") Project, an after-school program serving Latino and African-American youth, both meet in Grace's building. Grace's Reconciling decision reflects the feeling of openness which permeates the congregation's life. United Methodist Church of Sitka Sitka, Alaska The UMC of Sitka was established in 1965 in this historic southern Alaska city located on a Pacific island. It is a "missionary church," ninety miles from the nearest United Methodist church. The congregation's 125 members include a professional cross-section of the city. Its building houses a Head Start program and a youth hostel managed by the native Tlingit Indians. The congregation has long identified itself as an "open fellowship." The UMC of Sitka is the first RC in Alaska. Wesley United Methodist Church North Las Vegas, Nevada A small urban congregation in a transitional neighborhood, Wesley is taking steps to move beyond a "struggling to survive" mentality. In order to keep its building open as a community center, Wesley has entered into a ministry partnership with Maranatha Academy (an alternative elementary school) and the Metropolitan Community Church. The congregation recently became a pilot church in The United Methodist Church's Vision 2000 program. Wesley's decision to become an RC reflects its commitment to being a welcoming place for all persons. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on p. 3. RIC Sunday in October Reconciled in Christ (RIC) Churches will recognize RIC Sunday for the first time in October. Resources and information for this special Sunday will be sent to all RIC churches. Also, a new RIC brochure is now available. RCP is a Family Event Housing at the national RCP Convocation in July is free for children under 10 and reduced to $10.50/night for ages 10-18. Open Hands 30 eN Proposes Dialogue with General mbly Mission Council The More Light Churches Network (MLCN) Steering Comtee is planning dialogues with the elected leaders of the esbyterian Church (U.S.A.). About twenty More Light .urches are being asked to invite some of the seventy Gen: Assembly Mission Council members to visit a More Light rch. This plan is a response to the General Assembly's call the whole church to be in dialogue about sexuality, parlarly homosexuality. "fLCN Steering Committee member Joanne Sizoo is organg the project. Congregations asked to participate will re. 'e a list of Mission Council members to invite. The visits are e completed before the September meeting of the Council. Program Exceeds Goal ases New Resource The Open and Affirming (ONA) Program in the United . urch of Christ set a goal of 150 ONA churches by the UCC ,.eneral Synod in July 1995. By mid-February, 153 congregaons had declared themselves to be ONA! The ONA goal was rojected by the Council of the United Church Coalition for sbian/Gay Concerns (UCCL/GC) to the next biennial meetg of the UCC national delegate body. Many more ONA urches should be announced at the UCCL/GC dinner on y 1 at the General Synod in Oakland, California. The ONA program has developed a new resource to respond local church questions about the meaning of being "af.rming." In this twelve-page booklet, Open andAffirming: What Does it Mean to Us?, seventeen les/bi/gay UCC members offer oughts and feelings about being affirmed by their congrega. ons. Copies are $2.50 each (check payable to UCCL/GC) and lay be ordered from ONA Resources, P.O. Box 403, Holden, .l.\ 01520-0403. Widely·acclaimed original musical drama inviting lesbians & gay men to come "home" to church ... HOME: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal it, Original Cast Rec.or~ing;(40 mins.) Compact Disc .. :: .. , .................................................. $15 Cassette Tape ............ " ............................................ $10 HOME Video (105 mins.) ............................................... $25 Unedited live recording of final tour performance. Rep 10th Anniversary Video (25 mins.) ...................... $30 Highlights from show and interviews with company. Act'! $3 shipping to your order. ORDER FROM: Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 3121736·5526 fax: 3121736·5475 Published music and score will be available in early 1995. Cont~..¥~Tim McGinley, 622 N. Rit~y.lndianapolis. IN 46201 . 317/356·2215. Spring 1995 RCs Speak Out on Firing of Lesbian Coach Fifty-plus Reconciling Congregations and Reconciling Pastors have written letters to the president of Lindsey Wilson College in Columbia, Kentucky, protesting the firing of Diana Chalfant. Chalfant, hired as the women's coach at this United Methodist college last April, led the women's volleyball team to a very successful second season. She was quite surprised when she was asked to resign on December 9. She was told that the school wanted to "take the volleyball program in a different direction" and that there had been "lesbian incidents." When Chalfant refused to resign, she was fired and told to clean out her desk and leave immediately. Chalfant subsequently told her story, and her belief that she was fired for being a lesbian, to the Lexington Herald-Leader. Several students, including members of her volleyball team, organized a protest against her firing. Their efforts garnered significant media coverage questioning the school's actions. Reconciling Congregations and Reconciling Pastors joined these efforts by writing letters questioning Chalfant's firing and stating the United Methodist position supporting the civil rights of lesbian and gay persons. In addition, Edgehill UMC in Nashville has provided a supportive church home for Chalfant. RCP coordinator Mark Bowman noted that liThe United Methodist Church has tragically once again sent a message of inhospitality to lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons. Through the shoddy treatment of Diana and public statements regarding the unacceptability of homosexuality by school and conference leaders, the church has pounded another nail in its closed doors. Such exclusionary words and actions undermine the welcoming ministries of Reconciling Congregations." Chalfant has been invited to speak at the national convocation of Reconciling Congregations in July . Youth/Student Rally, July 13 AYouth and Student Rally will be held from 10 AM to 5 PM on Thursday, July 13, before the Reconciling Congregation Convocation opens in Minneapolis. A design team of youth, university students, and adults are creating a fantastic event. The day will include exciting youth and university speakers who are making a difference, "jam groups II to address hot topics, and some fun and bizarre activities. Reconciling Congregations are encouraged to arrange participation of their youth and students in this event. Let's empower the next generation of RC leaders! 31 OH Subscription Increase The subscription cost of Open Hands has increased with this issue. We have delayed making this decision as long as pOSSible, but financial realities have prevailed. The basic subscription price of $16 has remained unchanged for six years. During these six years Open Hands has broadened its scope and content by becoming ecumenical and has increased in size by 33 percent, from 24 to 32 pages. Our readership has risen dramatically during this time-by 67 percent-to 2,500 paid subscribers. We have held the line on raising the cost to you as long as pOSSible, but you are well aware of the escalating cost of doing business: supplies, printing, personnel costs have all increased. The new prices are: One year subscription $20 One year outside the U.S.A. $25 Single issue (including postage) $ 6 10 or more single copies $ 4 each . Current subscribers can renew their subscription at the old $16 price ($20 outside the U.S.A.) until July 31, 1995. Even if your renewal is not yet due, you can send in a $16 payment before July 31 and we will add four more issues to your subJuly 13-16,1995 ............ -\ Augsburg College ....................-r \,\ .) Minneapolis ............ . do. ~............ ..................~f\\.~~............ FOURTH ............ ,\, ~............. NATIONAL (" ~O'{\",....",. CONVOCATION OF \..-.................. RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS BOU ND for the PROMl'3EDLAND ... a spirit-filled gathering of the whole family of God For registration information contact: Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 31 2/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 scription. You may also purchase gift subscriptions at $16 until July 31. subscribers now send in $5, $10, or whatever they can afford We will continue our policy of sending Open Hands to and indicate they want to receive Open Hands. Such requests anyone who can use it, regardless of financial situation. We are always honored, since our primary motivation is to emhave not built in a multi-tiered price schedule for students, power the Christian movement welcoming lesbian, gay, and prisoners, low-income, or fixed-income persons. However, some bisexual persons and their families and friends. A Time For Exultation Members of Open and Affirming (ONA) churches in the UCC, churches exploring the ONA process, and friends from other welcoming programs will gather in Cleveland, Ohio, to rejoice in our shared witness to God's love for all people-lesbian, bisexual, gay, and straight. Leadership will include: • The Rev. Paul Sherry, President, United Church of Christ-Speaker • The Rev. Michael Kinnamon, Dean, Lexington Theological Semi· nary-Speaker • The Rev. Christine M. Smith, Associate Professor of Preaching and A NATIONAL ONA EXULTATION Worship, United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities-Preacher October 13-15, 1995 • Ms. Elaine Kirkland and Mr. Steve Cagle-Music Performances by: Northcoast Men's Chorus and the Just Peace Players (MA Conference, UCC) Join us for a tim.e to expand ideas, com.m.itm.ent, and hope! For more information contact: ONA-UCCL/GC P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520·0403 (Sponsored by: The ONA Program of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns.) GATHERED IN SPIRIT GAINING IN STRENGTH Open Hands 32 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 10 No 4 - The God to Whom We Pray https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1f0f7774fe4211299e9e535222085aac.pdf 6bb8f984755bbfeb07b11d2ea307797e Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 10 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1995 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document -More Light CllUrc1les Network Open and Affirming Program Reconciled in Christ Program Reconciling Congregation Program Church & Military: Twins? Barriers to Inclusivity Personal Realities Healing Challenges 4 Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in conjunction with More Lig~t Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs -along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs-offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $16 for four issues ($20 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $5. Quantities of 10 or more, $3 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312/ 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1995 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 @ Printed on recycled paper. Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity ofHuman Sexuality Winter 1995 CHURCH BEHIND US Focus on Puzzles and Journeys JUDY BOND Three puzzles inform our church journey. "Don't Ask-Don't Tell" MARK BOWMAN Uncanny parallels emerge between church and military. ~ Will Churches Take Next Steps? JEFFREY PULLING Six barriers-and six steps-to full lesjbijgay inclusivity. CHURCH AROUND US Somebody Throw Me a Lifeline 8 JAN GRIESINGER Spiritual drowning occurs in Ohio . "It Could Have Been a Church!" 9 LISA LARGES Two anecdotes identify church realities. ' J'l>urney Out of Half-Truth 10 « PH IL KNUTSON A closet door is opened with an Epiphany letter. Phil's Family Responds Another closet door is opened. 12 'And No One Will Snatch Them Qui ~fMY Hand "BARBARA tUNDBLAD We A memorial sermon for Phil explores the Go Shepherc{ image. Youth at the Forefront BOB G IBELING Youth lead the way to inclusivity. Gay Pastoral Team" in Seattle 1S KIMBERLY GRIFFIN A gay male couple is called 0 se'" c a church. 2 Open Hands 5 6 Church on a Journey toward Sexual Inclusivity I""" ---____,,-,-___ ___ --.,;y-~._.---.---_____. -__-_--.-.. .. -...-__.---;:;,.....-. ----_----.--_---_.-,::;::-.~ ----..... . _ ~ =_----...------.... _.~='%__ ~ ~ ~,--.--ooo<" --.-. CHURCH AHEAD OF US Healing Broken Institutions 16 GEORGE D. MCCLArN Seven healing steps a~f! offered for our so.Cial action ministrY: , Turning Walls into Arches 18 JEANNE KNEPPER Here is a new metaphor for inclusive ministry and social change work. Healing Broken People KENNETH H. ORTH We are called to heal the damage of unhealthy shame. 19 To Be a Church Again 20 'JACK HOFFMEISTER TJl€ Stonewall and sexual revolutions caN for the church to raise a new sexual moral standard. Give a Cheer for our Evangelical Brothers and Sisters 22 TOM GRIFFITH Evangelicals are finally being honest. Now it is our turn. Ecumenical Challenges Ahead 23 ALICE O'DONOVAN The struggle continues to open the doors of the National Council of Churches to the UFMCC. SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT For the Sake qf"lHealing 24 CHERYL D. HAR,RELL V@ A responsive cpnfession and interqctive assurance mJflht form the core of a healing,:rituaj f or.xour shuroH: ONE MORE WORD 26 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 27 MOVEMENT NEWS 28 WELCOMING CHURCH LIST 30 -. Editorial Advisory Committee Peg Beissert, Rolling Hills Est., CA Lindsay Biddle, Minneapolis, MN Ann Marie Coleman, Chicago, IL Dan Hooper, Los Angeles, CA Derrick Kikuchi, Daly City, CA Samuel E. Loliger, Buffalo, NY Dick Poole, Oak Forest, IL Caroline Presnell, Evanston, IL Irma C. Romero, Chicago, IL Paul Santillan, Chicago, IL Martha Scott, Chicago, IL Stuart Wright, Chicago, IL r.............~ "'''.''.''''' OPEN --a-! t!~! r......~...~ "'''.''.''''' Program Coordinators Mark Bowman '.' Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond o Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive "· Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel t.. More Light Churches Network 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 217/355-9825 Publisher Mark Bowman Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout I Graphics I Typesetting In Print -Jan Graves 3 Winter 1995 • By Judy Bond Reconciled in Christ Coordinator, LC/NA HOW do v:e talk about the ~hur~h on a Journey engagIng In change? As a Lutheran baptized in infancy, I "teethed" on the big change-the Reformation. However, today I look for clues of re-formation in our denominations. It seems we have three church jigsaw puzzles stored in the same box-tradition, reformation, and transformation-and our mission (should we choose to accept it) is to sort out the pieces to assemble the puzzles. The pictures will reveal what we envision, hope for, or try to avoid in the future. Tradition The passing down of elements of a religious body from generation to generation. One puzzle-making dilemma is whether or not our faith communities are ready to reexamine traditions. In my first college course in Old Testament, the professor challenged us to reexamine our "Sunday School" understandings of Scripture. Some of us survived by accepting the invitation to be curious, to revisit earlier learnings, and to examine the familiar from a new perspective. Others walked away muttering "blasphemy." Still others wouldn't pursue the questions, fearful of ending up with gaping holes in their faith. Another problem is that the tradition pieces of the puzzle may seem to link together quickly. We must be careful not to force pieces into place. When Bishop John Shelby Spong was asked about his motivation for writing, he answered that his children encouraged him when they asked, "Dad, why is the church continuing to give us the same answers to questions we no longer ask?" I believe our welcoming movement is articulating some of the new questions. We have to be ready to look at our traditions. Reformation The improving of something by alteration correction of error, or removal of defects; the abolishing ofabuse. Many of our denominations have engaged in ongoing study of same gender unions and ordination ofopenly gay and lesbian persons in relationshipswithout resolution. This is one puzzle that defies easy assembly. Our churches are engaged in the abuse of disowning the spiritual gifts of the les/bi/gay community. We are not moving quickly to correct that abuse. For example, in November 1991 in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, a study document titled Human Sexuality and the Christian Faith: A Lutheran Perspective was distributed for study, reflection, and comment. The overwhelmingly negative response resulted in a rewritten document titled Human Sexuality: Working Draft-A Possible Social Statement of the E.L. c.A. with Accompanying Documents. The shift in perspective was distinct! Many church people were not ready to reexamine tradition or to look for new answers to new questions. They took the puzzles apart and mixed up the pieces again. Transformation The drastic changing ofthe nature, form, function, or appearance ofsomething. The transforming border of our church puzzle is becoming visible. \Are see it in the increasing numbers of congregations who are adopting affirmations of welcome after meeting resistance and conflict in their first attempts. We see it in the new worship resources created by our les/bi/gay community in the openness to discuss issues of justice, and as individuals network in new and prophetic ways. As the pictures of our three puzzles emerge, we see that they really are one big puzzle being assembled by three dynamic and interlocking processes: reexamination of our traditions, reformation of our non-inclusive and abusive ways, and transformation of our creative edges. As we engage in these processes, the journey continues. T Open Hands 4 ClCIDON~T A DON~T TtLL~~ By Mark Bowman od and U.S. military service were both worshipped in my hometown church when I visited last Memorial Day. Memories of my youth flooded back: some of my most heated clashes about the ethics of the Vietnam War had occurred in that church. I sat pondering the seemingly inextricable link between many churches and the military. Why is the U.S. flag so often displayed within our sacred space? Why do so many Christians assume that all U.S. military action is ordained by God? Why is military service so often viewed as a supreme form of Christian service? My conclusion-to my chagrin-was that church and military playa common role in our society. They are the two key institutions for preserving U.S. social order. Both are expected to instill society's values into the hearts and minds of emerging American adults. Both are expected to mold nonconformists into socially acceptable persons. Both are steeped in tradition and slow to change. My conclusion was confirmed as I later read Randy Shilts's Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the U.S. Military.l Parallels between the experiences of les/bi/gay persons in the military and in the church are uncanny. We can draw valuable insights for our work in the church from Shilts's investigation into the military. What Military and Church Do bservations we can make from Shilts's stories about how the military has dealt with lesbians and gay men are also generally true for the church: 1. The highest priority of the institution is self-preservation, well above concern for the individual member. Individuals are subjected to persecution, even Winter 1995 loss of life, for the sake of preserving the institution. 2. The institution is more concerned with maintaining the perception that gay men and lesbians are expelled than with acknowledging the reality of their presence. Everyone knows gay men and lesbians are present. No one seems interested in ferreting out the many who exist quietly. However, institutional leaders do publicly pronounce the policy banning gay men and lesbians and pursue high-profile cases to expel them. 3. When the institution perceives itself to be threatened by gay men and lesbians, it will go to extreme lengths, even illegal actions, to protect itself. Thus arise undercover surveillances, illegal searches and seizures, and threats of recrimination and blackmail. 4. The institution's policy on gay men and lesbians has deep roots in the institution's culture and cannot be supported by logic. Successive rationales for excluding lesbians and gay men have been proven false, only to be replaced by new ones. S. Even though many institutionalleaders express their personal disagreement with the discriminatory policy, they enforce it in their actions. Leaders wring their hands and perceive no choice but to "follow the rules." How Gay Men and Lesbians React The ways gay men and lesbians react within the military are also hauntingly familiar to us in the church: 1. Gay men and lesbians often undergo great personal sacrifice in order to serve the institution. Their deep love for the institution allows them to endure much pain and suffering. 2. Gay men and lesbians strive to excel within the institution, believing their valued service will prevent their eventual expUlsion. However, they learn that the institution has no qualms about discarding even its most highly regarded members. 3. When confronted with threats of exposure, most gay men and lesbians withdraw from the institution quietly. Most do not challenge the institution or even request due process. Parallels in church and military: Replace "institution" with "military." Then replace it with "church." What do you think? 4. Les/bi/gay political leaders ignore the plight of gay men and lesbians within the institution until it becomes politically expedient to focus on them. Politicalleaders' skepticism about why gay men and lesbians choose to serve a homophobic institution is only overcome by the possibility of using their struggle with such an institution to further the larger les/bi/gay political movement. Future Directions Observations about the military inform not only our understanding and analysis of the current situation of gay men and lesbians in the church but also future directions: 1. As change in the institution's policy appears to be imminent, the institution enforces the ban with even greater vigor. We can expect that conflict and resistance to change will escalate as the discriminatory policies of the institution begin to crumble. 2. Gay men and lesbians seeking to challenge expUlsion do not generally succeed by using the institution's internal processes and structu res. Success is more often brought about by using external forces-the public media and the civil courts. What do all of these parallels mean? My faith leads me to expect more from the church. Yet my love for the church does cloud my vision of reality on a dayto-day basis. Stepping back and viewing the church through a different lens can sometimes better equip us for the journey ahead . ... Note lRandy Shilts, Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the U.S. Military (New York: Ballantine Books, 1994). Mark Bowman serves as national coordinator oftheReconciling Congregation Program and publisher of Open Hands. 5 WILL CHURCHES TAKE NEXT STEPS? By Jeffrey Pulling As we reflect on the welcoming church movement within mainstream Protestantism, we not only need to celebrate the progress made but we also need to examine what keeps U.S. Protestant churches from fully embracing lesbian, bisexual, and gay people. Why are our families of faith not moving boldly ahead? I write from the perspective of a relative outsider, having left the United Church of Christ of my upbringing over twenty years ago in order to do gay /lesbian ministry within the Metropolitan Community Church. I have stayed in close touch with mainstream Protestantism over the years through friends and family, periodicals, and ecumenical work. I do not hold out much hope that mainline churches will move to full affirmation of the presence, gifts, and ministries of les/bi/gay persons within my lifetime. I have come to this sad conclusion for six interlocking reasons. These reasons suggest six positive steps which must be taken by mainline Protestantism if it is to become fully inclusive. 1. Teach Biblical Interpretation Skills I see very little teaching of lay people in mainline Protestant churches about biblical interpretation. The resulting biblical ignorance abandons the biblical high ground to the religious right. Their assertions that the Bible condemns 6 homosexuality leave many mainline Protestants feeling that they have to give up all notion of biblical authority if they are to welcome self-affirming homosexual persons into the church. Protestant pastors could be doing much more to model biblical interpretation when they publicly read SCripture passages and when they preach. How will lay people experience the excitement of discovering the possible meaning(s) of a scriptural passage or story in its historical context and then applying those meanings to their present situation unless their pastor models that excitement and process? Instead, the favorite sermon topiC for the past decade has been finding strength, hope, and inspiration for daily living and life crises. As needed as this sermon topic is for the spiritual and emotional health of lay members, a steady diet of it reinforces the idea that the Bible should be used as a recipe book of wisdom and inspiration. Largely missing is any sense of challenge for looking at life differently and/ or living our lives differently. When /Ichallenge" sermons are preached, they usually draw on the inspiration and insight of a contemporary or extra-biblical source. As a result, many lay members never hear the radical visionary ideas in the Bible. They never begin to understand the nuances of interpreting scriptural passages that deal with sexuality. Virtually none of the superb biblical scholarship of the past twenty years dealing with homosexuality has been shared with the people in the pews. Why does it have to be a big secret? Why is the literalist view allowed to hold sway by default? 2. Expand Common Lectionary The advantages to using the Common Lectionary are obvious and have been well articulated, but there are drawbacks as well. John's Gospel is not given its full due. Stories of strong, influential women such as Miriam, Huldah, and Esther are edited out. Sexuality concerns such as Song of Songs, David and Jonathan, the eunuch prophecy of Isaiah .56, and the Matthew 19 teaching of Jesus about eunuchs are expunged. Even passages that have been used to condemn homosexuality are excluded from the lectionary, prohibiting the lectionar.· preacher from sharing a non-homophobic understanding of these passages. For churches attempting to articulate a sexpositive theology and proclaim a message of God's universal love, the Common Lectionary is not adequate. A three-year cycle of readings is not extensive enough to be inclusive of all the dhTf'fse voices in the Bible. 3. Open Up an Inclusive Gospel While mainstream Protestants have made great strides in affirming Open Hands enabling the ministries of women, see little evidence of willingness to re. , Christian faith in light ofwomen's experience and insight. Ifthe Scriptures Christian tradition as we have rece;'!;ed them are indeed the spiritual ecords of only the male half of the hun race, then Christian faith needs the spiritual experience and insight of omen as well in order to be whole and complete. Unfortunately, attempts to do such re-imagining of Christian faith ave been met with great resistance, as :if the traditional male interpretations of Christian faith are eternally true and universally valid. Mainline churches are even less will.ng to incorporate the experience and ~lSights of gay and lesbian people. Yet, ay and lesbian Christians are called to open up a fuller gospel, a more inclus~"e flgood news"-and they are doing so, even though their contributions are often seen as threats rather than as gifts. arn from History merican Protestantism has always tended to ignore church history and radition after New Testament times nUl the Reformation. This ahistorical ent has become even more prolou nced in the last two decades. I see ?'ery little evidence of Protestant open..ess to learning the lessons of Protesant and American history, let alone openness to learning a broader view of ~jstory that encompasses other times and cultures, or activities and views of 'omen, people of color, and sexual minorities. The result is a fairly myopic stance that assumes that our contemporary Western worldview is universal and timeless. This ahistorical environment within American Protestantism provides a less than hospitable reception for the historical scholarship ofJohn Boswell and others. History is notseen as "real." The i ews and behaviors of Christ's followers in other times and places are not seen as valid. What then does it matter that homosexuality was widely tolerated for the first millennium of Christianity and that there were Christian bonding ceremonies for two men and two women? \'\fhat does it matter that persecution of homosexuals arose within Christianity at roughly the same time as anti-Semitism and witchcraft purges? These historical insights are being ignored as if they are of no consequence. s. Address Sexuality as Irrational Issue Sexuality is not rational; it involves our passions. As long as we continue to address sexuality ,issues in purely rational, intellectual ways · through studies, lectures, and debates, we will never move beyond a certain point. Those involved in welcoming congregations can testify that rational discussion alone did not change minds and hearts in their churches. It is personal contact and life witness that changes people's views about sexuality. To address sexuality as the irrational issue it is means that many more les/bi/ gay persons have to be "out." It also means that Protestant churches have to give up their favorite technique for conflict-aVOidance, namely "studying the issue of homosexuality." 6. Confront Idolatry of Marriage/Family Since American Protestantism has so closely identified itself with heterosexual marriage and family, confronting the idolatry of marriage and family may be the hardest nut of all to crack. In actuality, the nuclear family has never been the norm of Christianity. Holding up heterosexual marriage and family as the Christian lifestyle is diabolical because it excludes those whom Christ's ministry included: the unmarried and those who are sexually different (eunuchs). In primitive Christianity, women were able to enter the New Covenant on their own, not because they were attached to a man. The New Covenant community was open to all. Gender, relationship stat us, class, and nationality were not important. Jesus redefined what family means (Mk 3:3135). Our blood-ties are not as important as our God-ties. Jesus taught that nothing should take precedence over our relationship with God, not even marriage and family (Mt 10:34-39). I do not hear mainline churches proclaiming Jesus' teaching and example about marriage and family. Until this idolatry is identified for what it is and expunged from the heart of Protestant Christianity, gay and lesbian Christians will always be viewed as flawed and second-best (or worse). Why Bother with Renewal? The six steps above can lead to full affirmation of les/bi/gay persons within mainline Protestant churches. However, most churches' unwillingness to take these next steps turns them into six blocks to full inclusivity. Given the seriousness of these six blocks, why should we bother trying to open our families of faith to a more inclusive gospel? Each reader will have to answer that question. I persist because I strongly believe that what les/bi/gay people have to offer Christianity is greatly needed. Eventually, we will be seen for the gift that we are. We may not see the new day of freedom and understanding ourselves, but as the last verse of the hymn "Lead On, 0 Cloud of Yahweh," states: Lead on, 0 God of Freedom, Ourguiding spirit be; Though those who start the journey The promise may not see, We pray our sons and daughters May live to see that land Where justice rules with mercy And love is law's demand. 1 If we trust God enough to be God's partners in the opening up and renewal of Christianity, then those who come after us-gay and straight-will have a better life because ofwhat we have done. • Note lRuth C. Duck, IILead On, 0 Cloud of Yahweh," Everflowing Streams, eds. Ruth C. Duck and Michael G. Bausch (New York: Pilgrim Press, 1981), p.77. Copyright 1974 by GIA Publications. All rights reserved. Jeffrey Pulling, M.Div., Ph.D., has served the Metropolitan Community Church since 1972 in pastoral, educational, and administrative capacities. He currently coordinates Adult Faith Development for the Northeast District (New England and New York state) of the MCC. Winter 1995 7 By Jan Griesinger "They fired my pastor today because ofme. " his phrase has been repeating in my head in the hours since the firing occurred. I am long past thinking homophobia is my fault. However, when it strikes close to home, I take it personally. The other person who would have said, "It was because ofme," died of AIDS last November. I belong to a small former E & R church, st. Paul UCC, in Marietta, Ohio. It is the closest one to me, about forty miles from my home. I have been a member for seventeen years but not a frequent attender. I generally felt unknown and unwelcome there until four years ago when Ralph Carr became the pastor. After Ralph was called to the church, Marvin Becker (30 years old, baptized at st. Paul, and a lifelong member) told him he had AIDS and was gay and that there were several other gay and lesbian people in the congregation. Ralph was a graduate of a Bible college and had done his seminary work with Donald Bloesch (author of The Biblical Witness Fellowship Dubuque Declaration). Discovering this information about his new congregation was a shock to Ralph. As a pastor, he felt called to do the pastoral thing. Marvin had given him our names, so he called on us one by one and asked to hear our stories. I remember his phone call to me: "I'm the new pastor. I understand you are gay. I don't know much about this and want to meet you and talk to you. II I thought to myself, "This is the most straight-forward approach I have ever had." Over the years, Ralph provided tremendous support to me, to Marvin and his family, and to many others. He preached openly at Marvin's funeral, affirming the great love between Marvin and his partner Mark. He then proposed st. Paul's sponsor a workshop on "AIDS and the Church." It was defeated at a church annual meeting. I hadn't been back to church since that vote six months ago and told Ralp why. He suggested I write a letter to the consistory, which I did, expressing m. pain and disappointment. He read this letter from the pulpit, unbeknownst t me. It apparently was the last straw fo some people. Dissident members of the congreg tion circulated a recall petition. Churc members who had not attended in yea some since before Ralph came, \\'e rounded up. They forced a vote at a s cial congregational meeting within t. weeks and ended his pastorate wit . 37-28 vote. When Ralph stood before the c gregation this morning, he told story of Marvin's approach to him, visits with me, and with others who closeted. He explained that he and ers in his former conference though him as conservative, that he was t astounded by the charge in the peti that he was "too liberal for this chur He asked the congregation, II Do . think it was easy for me to wrestle the homosexual issue? Do you t that I, a man who has slept with one woman, my wife, found it si to come to grips with gay/lesbian and the values they represented?' Nevertheless, he took his stan explained, "When my wife was i hospital, Jan called and asked why could do to help, offered to prea me, etc. Of the three ordained f!"': ters in our church, she was the on . to offer. This bonded me to her. you attack her, you hurt me." Of course, there were other iss there always are-his abilities, s ministry, performance-but Ralp certain that homophobia was t Open 8 @ ,e of the dissidents said at the meet\ Vhat have homosexuals ever done our country? It's our brave boys who ght in W.W.II who have made this country great. We come to church to feel good, not to hear about sex, drugs, and AIDS." This is a sad enough tale at St. Paul's, ut it doesn't stop there. It is being relayed in hundreds of churches. My friend Linda, pastoring a small rural church, faces the same vote six weeks rom now. Can we really question that this is the church-splitting issue of our ime? When I say this,. I think of racism and poverty and other serious life-threatening concerns. White VCC churches by and large do not really deal with these concerns except in a superficial, serviceproject way. At least, churches don't seem to be self-destructing over them. However, all oppression is related. The radical right attacks welfare, people of color, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, AIDS-it is all one ball of wax for them. In Protestant churches, they have targeted us. The dissidents' rhetoric at my church came right off Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell TV. Many of the twenty-eight of us who voted to retain Ralph will leave the church when his Sixty days are up. Somebody throw me a lifeline. The closest Open and Affirming church is 200 miles away. " Note This article is reprinted from WAVES, December 1994. Jan Griesinger, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, has served as director ofUnited Campus Ministry at Ohio University in Athens since 1976 and as national coordinator for the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns since 1984. By Lisa Larges Those of us who attended a recent More Light Presbyterian Conference saw a play Coming Out, Coming Home, created by Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) in Minneapolis. One section of the play was a story of a young gay man's coming out experience. He speaks of going to a gay bar for the first time and having that deep experience of coming home. As he walked into that bar, he felt that he was at last among friends who understood him. Finally, he was in a place, a community, where he could know and be known. At the end of his story, he reflects that this experience of "coming home" didn't have to have happened in a bar. "It could have been anywhere," he says. IIItcould have been a church." Then he pauses-"but it wasn't." I find that story and that conclusion haunting, especially as we look back across twenty-five years of the gay rights movement which began at a Mafia-run, New York City bar. "It didn't have to be a bar. It could have been a church-but it wasn't." I am grateful to the women and men in that bar that night twenty-five years ago. I find it in keeping with the spirit of the gospel that our movement began this way. Jesus found the field for his radical message in the more disreputable parts of the town, with some disreputable folks. He was easily frustrated in the temple. I think of a second anecdote about the theologian Paul Lehman. He was once asked to deliver the convocation speech at the dedication ceremonies for the opening of a grand new church building. "00 you know what you have built here?" he asked rhetOrically. "A resplendent mausoleum. Itstands incandescent in the glow of its own irrelevancy as the dynamics of history rush by it." (It wasn't the speech the organizers of the celebration had anticipated!) Then he added, "But it needn't be so." What we are about in these three years of dialogue in the Presbyterian Church, USA, is more than the work of deciding whether or not to ordain lesbian, bi, and gay Presbyterians. It is more than the work of talking together seriously and deeply about the nature of the good gift of human sexuality. It is about reclaiming the relevancy of the church for our time. lilt could have been the church." It could have been a church, a Presbyterian church, which held us as lesbian, bi, gay, and trans people as we came out. It could have been a Presbyterian church which helped us to grow with integrity and faithfulness. Itcould have been the Presbyterian Church which said to a sinning world, liThe injustice perpetrated against gay men and lesbians by our culture is sin and we must repent." It could have been the church which led the way to freedom and liberation for all of us-but it wasn't. Many of us-in the Presbyterian Church and in other denominationsare calling the church to take hold of its rightful place, to do the work that it is called to do. "It could be the church. II .. Note These two anecdotes are adapted from a speech at a fund-raising event on June 24, 1994, for the We Are All Children of Godvideo project being developed by Rutgers Presbyterian Church, the Presbytery of New York City's Unit for Lesbian & Gay Concerns, and the PLGC. Lisa Larges is a massage therapist in San Francisco, and a Presbyterian candidate for ministry as an open lesbian although the permanent judicial commission has barred her from seeking a call to ordained ministry. Winter 1995 9 Journelf Out of Holf-Truth An Epiphany Letter from Phil January 4, 1994 Dear Mark and Jan [and 400 other family members and friends]: I trust that your Christmas was fulfilling in remembering the great gift of promise which the Christ child brings. Now, with the season of Epiphany at hand, we all look forward to the promise of hope which the light brings to each of us. Amidst the light is often the darkness of some past memories and even present realities. Darkness has occurred in my life with a recent diagnosis of my physical condition. The reality is that I have AIDS. I have been diagnosed with the cancer called Kaposi's Sarcoma. It is not a complete shock to me, as I have been HIV positive for the past seven years. When I discovered that fact, I decided to keep it to myself until the time came when I actually was diagnosed with an AIDS-related disease. That time has come. My blood counts are very low and I walk around with a constant temperature. For the first time in my life, any stress causes immense physical reactions to the point where I have had to be on pain-killers. When I am not working, those symptoms disappear. My doctor insists that I go on disability and has signed the papers. All I need now is the approval of my employers for disability to become a fact. I plan to spend the next few days organizing my work for someone else to do. Then I will take accumulated vacation time and sick days until the disability can begin. All my appointments and meetings are canceled from here on out. I am too realistic to even think of valiantly fighting this terminal illness. I only hope and pray for a relatively painless death, the time of which no one can prophesy. In the meantime, I plan to stay in my home in Chicago and when the times come that I require more assistance I will arrange for home care-and perhaps, finally, enter a hospice. It is somewhat a relief to have the seven years of waiting over and the secret out. But that relief is minor compared to the relief that finally living a lifetime of half-truths about my lifestyle is coming to a close. The darkness of my journey as a gay ordained clergyperson is almost indescribable. Nevertheless, I want to try to share it. The first half of my life was spent denying my attraction to my own sex. I dated women, came close to marriage twice, thought I would be "OK" and straight if I was married, fought against my fantasies and my dreams. All because SOciety-and especially the church -said that kind of sexual identity was wrong. So I tried to obey! But it didn't work. Certainly, I did not choose the gay lifestyle, for it meant being a social outcast in many instances, it meant no sharing one-half of my life with frie n and family for fear of rejections, and.' certainly meant losing my job if I \\~ ever discovered. So, I did not tell anyone. I firmly be ·lieved that if anyone ever heard the a mission that I was gay from my lips, the' might tell someone that they knew for a fact. That person might tell someone in the church who held a positio of authority, and I would lose my job. thought about quitting on many occasions, but felt called to the varieties c work in the church which I have don over the past thirty years. I assumed the position that anyor. who met me suspected that I was ga, That way there could be no surprises fc~ me. But, I tell you, it was a dark an lonely journey. There was no one to ta . with about the grief of a broken relationship; there was no daring on my pa to risk talking back to people who spo . hatefully about my lifestyle (and me in front of me; I did not dare to adY cate publicly for the equal treatment gay and lesbian people; I suffered wit the predecessor church body statements on sexuality which placed m in the same category with "murderers and fornicators"; most recently a few days after the draft on hurna sexuality came out-I sat with som bishops and their staffs and had . listen to them denounce the statement as something that should no even be published, much less studie They were talking about ME sittir. in their midst. They were talkin about not allowing conversatio about human sexuality (and especially homosexuality) because : might harm the "structure" of th church. I wanted to say, "but wha Open Hands 10 e. ut me and my kind of people? my name involved. Now, at on't you even allow converlast, they are reon to occur about us who leased from e up the structure?" But I that promise. I not because I only talk am forever blicly about one-half of grateful to them "life. for the openness, I trust that many of you acceptance, love, "1 study the draft on huand support they n sexuality, if for no have given me the her reason than it is past six years. utme-and you! All The relief of waitask is for some open ing for AIDS to finally honest conversation so strike is over-the relief last few weeks or months or years of knowing that the seot my life we can talk about ALL of my Through the years, I have realized 0';" many people have intuitively wn that I am gay-how they have 'etly supported me, gently affirmed e and some have even protected me. :For this, I am more grateful than you can imagine. A few years ago, I told a handful of ,,' best friends and my two brothers, e sister, and their families. I could bear' .e silence no longer. But I swore all of se people to secrecy. They kept their promise and joined in my dark journey of half-truth. They could not seek or give counselor comfort on this issue with cret of my lifestyle and its dark journey is almost over. The light of the resurrection looms brightly for me at the end of the journey. So now, in closing, I share this passage from Mark with you which came alive to me in church one Sunday recently: Therefore, keep awake-for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find youasleep when he comes suddenly.And what Isay to you Isay to all: Keep awake! (Mk 13:35-37) I realize that you may have concerns, questions, or comments about what I have written here. I am open to all, and only ask that you contact me directly at my office for the next few days and/or at my home. Love, If, for any reason you would like to reprint this text, I ask only that it be printed in its entirety and not excerpted. Thank you for your consideration. Phil Knutson, who ended his struggle with AIDS on April 24, 1994, was an ordained Lutheran pastor who served as assistant director for campus ministry at the ELCA headquarters in Chicago from 1988-1994. For ten years he also served as advisor to the Lutheran Student Movement. ~~~....:~··.,~.Jfi~lti)l;!m.;~~:~~~_, ~~fiI~~~~~~ .. 1ftlftl1~ t t, , , . .~,.,~::;~;:~;W!flltlil4JA:::~:L~,": Phil's Fomil4 Responds Mid-March 1994 Dear Family and Friends, all that he can to relieve some of the Many of you have heard the news or stress in his life. have received the letter from our broThis letter is written to you to indither, Phil Knutson, regarding the fact cate our support for Phil and others in that he has recently been diagnosed with his situation. It is really a kind ofl/comthe AIDS virus. Phil has lived a life of ing out" letter from us as his family. secrecy because of the fact that he is gay We recently had a chance to gather and has found himself in a world that around Phil at a family reunion with his simply cannot seem to tolerate that fact siblings and their spouses. Three full about someone. Because of his illness, days and nights at the ocean in Califorhe has gone on disability from his job nia enabled us to surround Phil with our in the ELCA headquarters and is doing love and support. We shared our pain, morel..'" Winter 1995 11 Photo: Knutson family FAMILY REUNION: A few days at the beach are healing. our anger, our sadness, our joy, and our delight in each other. Words cannot describe what a healing time it was for us as we settle in to anticipating the grief that is yet to come. Phil shared the hundreds of letters that he has received from around the country from family members, friends, former parishioners, and even from many people he does not know. We all read everyone of them and it provided us with the opportunity to renew our commitment among ourselves and to cooperatively embrace new commitments as a result of his pain which brought us together this time. The most common question among us, which seemed to be a thread through all of the responses, was "What can we do?" Being part of a church that we love and feel called to support and participate in and yet which perpetuates so much pain through the oppression of gay and lesbian people, results in a mixed bag of feelings that gets too heavy to bear alone at times. Such oppression violates the spirit of the Gospel which, in our understanding, is summarized in the words of the Great Commandment which simply asks us to love one another as God has loved us. Many of us rejoiced when the ELCA (our church body) came out with the long awaited sexuality statement. For those of you who are in other church bodies, you know that sexuality is always a difficult topic to discuss. And yet many of us stood·by as people responded to it so negatively. We did not let our voices of support be heard very loudly, although we affirm the statement. So those in positions of authority are hearing mostly the negative responses. As a result of our being together, we decided that the one, concrete thing we can do is to let our bishop hear another response. And so, as Phil's family, we each have committed ourselves to writing a letter to Bishop Chilstrom including these two items: 1. We support gay and lesbian people as being full participants in the Kingdom of God, who should no longer be oppressed. 2. We encourage the bishop to do whatever he can to continue to promote open dialogue within the ELCA on issues of sexuality. It is time for us to be proactive an no longer reactive. It is our hope tha' you might consider lending your voiceJ to ours by writing your own letters c support to: Bishop Herbert Chilstrom Evangelical Lutheran Church in America 8765 W. Higgins Rd. Chicago, Illinois 60631 and to Edgar Trexler The Lutheran 8765 W. Higgins Rd. Chicago, Illinois 60631. You might also consider sending a cop: ofyour letter to your own bishop as we as to your pastor. We offer you our prayers and su port as we continue to ask for yours. Peace to you all, Signed by Mary and Nels Olson, Ann Arbor, MI Mark and Jan Knutson, Thousand Oaks, CA Paul and Marsha Knutson, Milwaukee, WI Mark Knutson, ordained Lutheran past and campus minister at California LutJze an University, has graciously provided with Phil's letter and the family's resp01 . Photo: Jan Kn uts STANDING IN SOLIDARITY: Brothers Mark (left) and Paul and sister Mary Olson join Phil (right) on his journey out of half-truth. Open Hands 12 And No One ill Snatch Them Out of Mlf liand By Barbara Lundblad hen I was baptized not see, or even imagine. As a at Zion Lutheran child, I did not hear the surprise Church in Gowrie, or feel the tension of this gospel. the good shepherd looked We weren't ready for the fullness . gently upon my family and of surprise: "I have other sheep ,efore I could speak, before that do not belong to this fold. I .eet could touch the floor bemust bring them also ... " the pew, before I knew the Phil came to know both the IIGod" or "Jesus," I looked surprise and the tension of this and saw the wondrous stained gospel. From earliest childhood, s window above the altar at he trusted the promise that he beon. There were deep blues, longed to this shepherd. He was in ed by tall green trees, with the window, carried and cared for and loved. It was the church that cs and shrubs in the foreground ~ the bottom. In the center was gave him this promise, that told him the stories of the shepherd. shepherd, carrying aJamb like Later, far from home, far from mother carrying her baby. On childhood, other voices told him nny mornings, the light reamed through the window it was not quite so. Not really. Not shing us all with blues and fully. The church which gave him eellS, rocks and trees. The people the pictures on Sunday School :!Zion were gathered up in the colleaflets put conditions on the ors of the window.-We were all one promise: it was a promise for Phil .g picture, all of a piece. only if he could be someone other I don't know if Phil grew up than who he was. "I know my i th such a window in Albert Lea. own"-but my own are not gay. Still, Phil moved on ahead where ~o doubt, he carried home pictures he believed Jesus was going: "I f the good shepherd on his Sunhave other sheep. I must bring ay School leaflets. Perhaps he fashioned the leaflet into a paper them also." He hoped it might be true someday, for the church and airplane-pastor's children were often tempted to do this-and for him. when he did, it was the shepherd who was flying! Phil heard this same gospel from John 10, and it merged with the parable about the shepherd looking for the one lost sheep. The stories all got gathered up in that picture of the shepherd even as the people in the congregation were drawn into the picture. "I am the good shepherd," said Jesus. "I know my own and my own know me." Perhaps Phil counted them-the people in the sanctuary-even as I did. I Winter 1995 wonder if he noticed that everybody always sat in the same spot, as though aSSigned. While we were counting, the gospel went on: "I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd." While I was counting the flock within Zion, Jesus was moving ahead of me, looking for other sheep, the ones I could He lived in the tension of the gospel's surprise-and in the hope that the church would change. It was a tension hard to bear for much of a lifetime, harder than most of us knew until we read Phil's letter. Yet today, even after hearing that pain, some of usboth family and friends-are wondering, questioning why Phil chose to end his life when his doctors had told him he had time ahead ofhim. Was it a longing to be in control? (Oh, we know Phil more"·... 13 liked to be in control!) Perhaps, it had something to do with control, the need to make a decision while he still could. But life is more complicated than one right answer on a multiple choice test. Perhaps, more than control, it was compassion, compassion for himself and for those he loved. For he knew the course of AIDS. He had already felt in his body and soul the anguish of this illness. We will not find easy answers. Even as we acknowledge the deep despair which could overwhelm Phil, we have also sat in his home-vibrant paintings on every wall, antiques attached to warm memories, colors and radiant hope in every room. It was not the home of someone who disdained life. If I had to choose one word to gather up all these pieces, it would be compassion. However, I would also leave room for anger! Phil was angry at the church he loved, the church he served for some thirty years. He wanted the church to change-to believe the gospel's surprise. He thought his letter would so move people that they would insist that the church become a different place. (I h~ve had similar fantasies-going to a microphone at a church assembly and giving a speech so powerful that everyone in the assembly hall rises to their feet and follows me out into the light of day!) But I don't expect such a thing to happen. It didn't happen for Phil either. The church did not change, not soon enough. He was angry. We must not take his anger away. Some of us are angry, too, angry at him for leaving as he did. Can we say that? We must, or we will dismiss Phil and all he meant to us. We will dismiss his feelings, his passion, his rage. I think he would agree with Dorothy Day when she said, "Don't call me a saint. I won't be dismissed that easily." And some of us are angry at ourselves. Why didn't we see? What more could we have done? Those of us who have known for several years that Phil was gay, couldn't we have given him more hope? Phil died with drama, even as he had lived. He died on Sunday morning while people in some 11,000 congregations of the ELCA listened to this gospel: "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me. I have other sheep YOUTH AT THE FOREFRONT By Bob Gibeling In July 1994, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ElCA) brought 35,000 people to a triennial youth gathering in Atlanta. During the official convention of the lutheran Youth Organiza, tion (lYO), the elected delegates from all ElCA synods passed two remarkable measures. One was a goal (one of nineteen): To contInue to include youth in the LYO regardless of sexual orientation; this means that the LYO will strive to make all of its expressions wsaf~ spaces-where gay, lesbian, ,and bisexual persons can be supported and affirmed, and will continue to dialogue about th~ issues surrounding sexual orientation. Th~ second was a' resolution on "Gay, l esbian and Bisexual Youth," which passed with a 93.96 percent favorable vote: Resolved that the board of the Lutheran Youth .organization stromgly encourage every synod to "establish an open, non-judgmental ,communication link between themselves and the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community of the ELCA 11 VaQce Robbins, 'President of LYO com-~ ment~d: " I tis very exciting to see the face of the church charlging. The paradigm is sHifting. The youth of this church are at the forefront of ihclusivity in terms of ethqicitY" gender, and sexual orientation." The courage of Lutheran youth gives us \ope for th~ future. ' Bob ~ibeling is program director of Lutherans Concerned/North America. that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also ..." How many of us were surprised by that gospel word? How many of us felt its tension? Peter Gomes, chaplain at Harvard University, says that the gospel must change us: Once we acknowledge the inclusivity of God, nothing else remains exactly the way it was, and that is both the glory and terror of an encounter with the living God, who is zealous to call all into service and to be deprived of the witness and gifts of no one. The foolish, the weak, and the despised are God's chosen vessels, and th is what frightens so furiously the wi the powerful, and the well connect In. the light of an inclusive God, hom sexuality and holy orders must be tered in the same breath, for I am co vinced that here is where the chure will be tested greatly. It is in this iss of homosexual Christians and horr. phobic churches where God is m likely to be found in oUJ day, and inclusive God will not allow any of to avoid the issue. "The glory and the terror of an e counter with the living God" -the s' prise and the tension of the gospel! us not tame this living Word or dom ticate this Holy God. Just when we set into certainty -"I know my own and ~ own know me"-Jesus is off talkir. about other sheep. Surprise! The opening of the Gospel of Jo . celebrates the cosmic logos whie brought the world into being: /lIn tl beginning was the Word, and the War was with God and the Word was God. All the philosophers nodded their hea for they were schooled in this cosm design-until, surprise! "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full a grace and truth ... " Flesh-did you hear Flesh. Body. Arms. Legs. Hands and fee' Walking, dancing, sweating, weepin making love. Passionate. Sexual. Flesh. No, it could not be. Surprise! At the end ofJohn, it happens agai . This Gospel "ends" with 20:30-31: /I • Jesus did many other signs in the pr ence of his disciples which are not '''''n ten in this book. But these are writte so that you may come to believe th Jesus is the Messiah, the Beloved of G and that through believing you rna, have life in Jesus' name." Close the book. The end. But-sl {prise! Chapter 21 begins all aye again-the disciples are a~ the sea fis ing and Jesus appears. Do you remember? They have caught nothing a night, and Jesus tells them to cast t net to the right. Shouldn't this star Open Hands 14 · >;;;i.ffu'@ > rlse I logetically supportive of gay and would want us to do this work for an. an people. He lived with the chasother reason, the same reason that carment and criticism which such deried and sustained him all his life. He . ns brought. Knowing he could not would bid us do this work because we aithful to God's calling AND the have met Jesus. We have heard the es of the church, he chose to be faithshepherd's voice above all else-above o God's calling. And he lived with the rules, above the fears, above the de\ild hope that someday he could spair. Jesus, the shepherd, not only carboth in the same church. ries us but leads us toward a new place, But that was not to be, not in his lifea place we could not have imagined be. ne. Someday, perhaps, we who are the fore. We will do this work because we .urch will gather to confess our sin in believe the surprising grace of the gos,'s deeper than generalities: pel. And we must live with the tension of promises not yet realized rather than "For blocking the gospel's good surdeny God's surprise. prise; The light of hope is breaking in upon for not receiving the gifts of gay men us-the light at the end of the long, dim and lesbian women; hallway in the painting Phil loved so for pre-empting the Spirit's anointmuch. Living in the gospel hope, we ing power for the sake of unity and look around every sanctuary across our good order; church. We see faces bathed in colored light, faces the church refused to see Lord, in your mercy, Hear ourprayer. " before. The stained glass gathers them For now, many of us will carry on the all: gay men and lesbians, straight men ',\'ork where our brother Phil left off. We and women, children and teenagers and ,ill carry in our hearts, as he did, the college students-all singing together in ,'ords of the prophet Micah. We will ask the full light of day, gathered up in the the question Phil no doubt asked a thou- colors of the window, in the arms of the sand, thousand times: "With what shall shepherd-all in the same picture, all of I come before the Lord? What can I one piece. Winter 1995 GAY PASTORAl:TEAM IN SEATTLE,,," By Kimberly Griffin 'tha[1 1J>O ret Two years and more jection letiers l~ter, an openly;qay Chi-, cago couple hasifinally real,ized their dream; a c ongre'gatioJL,officiaily called the ppirl,..to share"a posJtiof) as issociate p?~tors, ,[Y1arking the !i[st time~a.!:n.?inl ine church has done 'sQ. The pa?i~rs, Peter IIgenfr!,tz, } z, and David Shull,'as, were calleQ(to serve th~; 1200-member UQiversity Congl~lt+ gati'Ona,1 Church {UG:C} in Seattle,,," :;:;:::0.' '~'" Washingt~m, The stq,nding ovafion thePslr re-Mceived from the t~hgregation after the Vsot~ was "the fnostincr~dible experieike I' dd,~v~r had in myJife" said Shull. "It was" an utterly holy moment," agreed Ilgenfritz. Both said that members of the congregation were tHelMtqnes Who deserved the ~standing ovation~ /I!i~ rtainly, 24 percent of th e church didn't think if was a good idea," UgenJ'Htz said. '~But tne~jf:t'as isuch energ y ... Thj~f@is the kin,d+of church}.'i~ want to .&elong to." @ @: -Excerpted and,a'aapted from a mUch, lon~er artide in~,the ~hJ:cago Wind' ; City Ti'Jle~,.fJune 1994. Used with perm isslonJ~b As Jesus said, in verses which follow today's gospel in the 10th chapter of John: "My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal Hfe, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand" On 10:27-28). No one. Not even the church. "Come, Philip, come and have breakfast." Amen. ~ Note This sermon was first published in the Rocky Mountain Synod (ELCA) newsletter. Barbara Lundblad is pastor ofOur Savior Atonement Lutheran Church, the Bronx, New York. he beginning? Yes, it should, or we thought it did. But here 'er resurrection. They cast their once more and haul the heavy o shore, all 153 fish. (Who h em all?) Then Jesus said to "Come and have breakfast." t is the end, but it is also the ~Ulll.~lg. the glory and the terror of an eorou::ter with the living God! Oh, the "--"-~.se and the tension of the gospel! . 'ed with both the surprise of race and the tension of the s denial. He wanted always to do han he felt he could and he to speak in this own voice. He d articles in Entree which were bring to make it right? What will ever be enough?" Then Phil heard the voice of the Holy One: God has told you, Philip, what is good: " ... what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Some will speak of justice for gay and lesbian people for the first time in their lives because of Phil. For when he wrote to them, it was the first time someone they knew, someone they loved, had ever said "I'm gay. I have AIDS." Some of us will do God's justice work more passionately because of Phil. We will do this work to honor and remember him. And surely part of Phil would be very pleased about that. But the larger part of Phil 15 Healing dJroken lnstitutions By George D. McClain Walter Wink has performed a great service in describing how institutions (in biblical language, "powers") have both an outer structure and an inner life. This is represented by the formula: p (powers) =0 (outer manifestation) + i (inner life). p = 0 + i For a local congregation (p), the outer manifestation (0) includes its building, membership roll, elected leaders, pastor, budget, bank account, schedule of events and services, etc. The congregation's inner life (i) consists of its institutional history of traumas and blessings, its view of itself and the world, its unwritten assumptions, hopes, and disagreements, and its inner stance of openness or resistance to the Spirit of God.l Institutions, as well as individuals, are imperfect, broken, and in need of pastoral care. Our knowledge of the inner life can serve us well in healing these broken institutions, addressing those behaviors which contradict the institutions' God-given purposes. I would like to describe a seven-step process which is often experienced as persons perform their social action ministry to heal broken institutions. 1. Consternation The initial concern usually arises in the experience of consternation or puzzlement about an institution which has direct effect on us. For example, you may observe that good people are acting in destructive ways, that positive initiatives somehow get sabotaged, that genuine potential does not get realized. In a particular church I know in New York state, the predominate mood was one of hopelessness and disinterestedness, with personal bitterness and strife among key church leaders. In another case, an Illinois church recently voted on whether to become a Reconciling Congregation. With a number of gay and lesbian persons active and welcorned and with some of them in high places of leadership, there was good reason to be optimistic about the vote. . failed, however, causing deep consternation and disappointment. 2. Collision The next step is to identify the fu . . damental impasse in the life of institution. One senses a colli sic course between the Spirit of God a something negative at work in the co gregation. Usually the cause of the ne tivity lies deep in the "personality' 0 the institution. Frequently there h been a trauma or series of traumas . the life of the institution, creating \-nerabilities into which negative spirit force enters. The New York congregatio mentioned above was forced deca . ago to leave its original site when area was taken by the city to build a r . ervoir. The original church building been IIdrowned." It seemed that the co gregation had ever since been dive from its mission by its collec . memory of loss and by its sense of feat, negativism, and bitterness. In case of the Illinois church, the nega . vote is an opportunity to pray to cover the fundamental block which to its unloving action. Spiritual disce ment is called for. What is the woun blockage in the collective life experie of this seemingly loving congreg . that is preventing it from acting loving way? 3. Collusion The third critical step is to ack edge how we are in collusion the brokenness of the given institu Whatever is "eating at" the instit is also likely to be preying upo vulnerabilities. We may be using th tics of the oppressor in trying to the oppression, such as returnin for hate, or succumbing to despa sentment, and hopelessness. In the York church, the pastor was able ognize how she too shared i church's negative attitudes. Membe 16 Open H IUinois church may want to reflect 'erfully on how they may be ing with the Spirit of Fear, or other ve spirits which besiege it. essential for us as healers to con. 5S and receive the forgiveness of for our collusion with ungodly ates and forces. In the New York ch, the pastor and those of us who athered to pray with her confessed .':e too fall prey to hopelessness and mess in aspects of our lives. We received the pronouncement of S forgiveness and empowerment . each other. Those who feel called ray for the healing of the Illinois rch might do well to join in a time onfession and forgiveness together. confession is critically important, diminishes the ever-present danof self-righteousness. onfrontation e are now ready, in reliance upon the power of God, to confront the .. 'hich is at work in the inner life of nstitution and which steers it away om God's work of humanization. ny of us are fairly well schooled in political" care of institutions (Le., ,"vjng with its outer manifestations: ing new officers, shifting the power introducing new programs). These e important and essential. But we are called to address the inner spiritu,. (the i) of institutions and to con(,!1t the evil which besets them with cind of spiritual care uniquely ensted to us as Christians. We engage this confrontation in the confidence God is already at work nudging the rch or institution toward greater filty to its godly purpose. eansing t this stage, we enact the phrase from the Prayer ofJesus, "Deliver us from ':~." We courageously assume the rge]esus gave to the disciples to "cure sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lep" cast out demons" (Mt 10:8; italics !1e) and we do this in bold ritual form. the name and power of Christ," we mmanded the Spirits of Fear, Patriar,. and so forth to depart from the owned church. 'inter 1995 At another New York church, Chenango Street United Methodist Church in Binghamton, lay leaders were justifiably concerned about a forthcoming vote on whether the church should declare itself a Reconciling Congregation, They were not sure what was going to happen, or whether the timing was right. At the initiative of some laity, they went into the room where the meeting was to be held and prayed prayers of cleansing, asking that the space and those entering it would be freed of the Spirits of Homophobia, Fear, Arrogance, or Ignorance. 7. Claiming The final step is very closely related to cleansing. After praying for cleansing, the people at Chenango Street expressly claimed the about-to-be-held meeting for God's yearning, invoking God's blessing at the placeswhere people would be sitting, speaking, and making decisions. IIThis opened our spirits," pastor Gary Doupe reported, "making all of us more open to the creative work of God's Spirit, and helping us feel more serene concerning the outcome." The congregation voted overwhelmingly to become a Reconciling Congregation. liThe outcome," Gary added, "was very positive indeed, on more than a surface level.11 In the case of the drowned church, we prayed that the fear of the drowning waters be replaced by an embracing of the healing waters of baptism. We prayed for a renewal of baptismal vows for the members of the congregation and then went throughout the church building sprinkling it with water to claim the entire space for Christ's purposes. The pastor subsequently began to notice a change in key people and in the worship climate. I invite you to gather a small group of concerned persons to pray for the healing of a broken institution you care deeply about. The form of the healing is not always what you expect or want; we do not, after all, manipulate God. But almost universally, such intentionality in healing prayer yields a deep sense of peace. May your ministry of healing institutions be fruitful. T GUIDELINES FOR PRAYER OF CLEANSING AND CLAIMING By George D. McClain 1. Approach the prayer in humility and openness to God's grace and power to be manifest. 2. Specifically pray for God to cleanse th~" following of any spirit not of God: a. Yourselves-your mind, hearts"and bodies; b. The physical space of the'meeting or event; c. Those participating in the eventone by one if possible, andby name; d.'The intangibles':":the, agenda, the worship service to take place, the leadership, the discussion, the decisions. 3. Then pray positively that God fill each of the above (a-d) with the spirit of Christ, that Christ may be "all in all" (EpK 1:2~). 4: Move around the room physically (or in your imagination). Offer these prayers in specific locations and at the seats or tables of specific decisionmakers. 5. If fe~,ls right, sprinkle water around the room as a tangible claiming of God's cleansing, liberating power. 6. Thank God for working with you and through you and for God's staggering promise to reveal to the powers and authorities ':the wisdom of God in'its rich variety" and "to gather up ali things in [Christ]" (Eph 3':10, 1:10). 7. Continue in a general intercessory stance even as the meeting or event transpires. Note lWalter Wink, Engaging the Powers: Discernment and Resistance in a World of Domination (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992). George D. McClain is national executive director oftheMethodist Federation for Social Action which devotes considerable time to workingon les/bi/gay rights in the United Methodist Church. 17 CURN1NG W ~LLS.,> lNCO ~~--... Jeanne Knepper By I must begin with story. I had been aware of a double call for many years. Called both into ministry and into family life with my partner and our two daughters, I felt blocked from ministry by a wall of church rules that repudiated my gift of family. Over and over, I heard the call; over and over, it led to the wall. First, the Wall How do you go forward with a wall before you? I watched others as they tried to go over, under, or around the wall. I watched as they skirted, hid, switched denominations, or veered off in other work. I watched some who battered their hearts and spirits trying to go through the wall. With many others, I worked through my denomination's General Conference trying to dismantle the wall. Still, there was a wall. Still, a holy call to keep walking forward. Still, the wrenching question: but how, oh God, do I walk through a wall? Then, the Gift A new image appeared in my mind. Walls, so seemingly solid, are made up_of atoms, each a nucleus surrounded by the standing energy patterns of electrons. Atoms move and shift in response to each other's energy. IfI expanded the wall in my mind into its constituent atoms, I could present myself before them, one by one, and invite them to shift over. One by one, atoms in the wall could turn to create a pathway. They could reshape to build an arch through which many could travel. One by one, but working together in a dance of invitation and response, we would refashion wall into gateway. Refashioning Walls Our metaphors equip us for the work of change. We can coax practical and spiritual insights for the work ahead out of this image of refashioning walls into archways. Our work is spirit-filled and spiritcentered work. Spiritual centering enables us to meet each person on a spirituallevel, I to Thou, concerned that we each stay true to our calling to be the people of God. It is a work of invitation, not confrontation. We are not conquering enemies or over-coming obstacles (such a dehumanizing word for our brothers and sisters on the journey). We are inviting people to align themselves with a vision that includes their own good. To invite well, we must listen well, taking seriously the core-intent of others, being willing to shift and counter-shift as we move. We proceed by invitation, not ultimatum, always allowing room for respectful movement, always guided by a long vision. It is work of a life-time and will take a radical, insistent patience. To be successful, we must believe that the effort is worth our life's work. Then we can afford the patience that will not be dissuaded and will not treat others as means to an end. Then also we can see that the many small steps and turns are part of a persistent process of change. To stay focused, we must stay balanced. Like a wooden top, we will spin longer and truer if we sand away the personal burrs that would throw us off. Fear, anger, fatigue, impatience, cynicism-all these will hinder the work and block our ability to be truly inviting. When they surface, it is time to step aside and do the personal spiritual tending necessary to refit us for the task. Perhaps we will need to step off the leading edge while we invite others to go on. What makes all of this possible is the knowledge-the sure and deep conviction-thatwe will be about God's work. Our God, who delights in diversity and insists upon inclusion, has called us to walk through walls if necessary on OUf journey toward justice. We go forward in a radically aware trust, knowing that we do not work alone. We are turning this wall into arches together. No one of us will do this work alone. Working together, we can move forward on man; fronts. We can also sto'p, pause, let others take the lead, and tend those who are tired. Sustained by prayer and belie\"in that we are about God's work, we ca engage in this process so that people 0 the church will look back on this ti of change and say to each other, at what we did together. By the gra God, we turned a wall of excIusio an arch of openness." T Jeanne Knepper, an ordained prob ary member of the Oregon-Idaho An 1 Conference of the United Met/wdi Church, is appointed to co-direct 5110/0 Ministries in Portland, Oregon. She also serves on the national council of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Concerns. Open Hands 18 /I which are often shamed by religious groups. Persons who bear this burden ofshame are our scapegoats, those upon whom we unload our own unwanted parts. We project on others that which we find too painful to bear within our shared humanity and then view the ! " .\ . --\ .>1·· the places where the hearts of those excluded and unwanted have been broken. As we name those places where the shaming of our God-created selves has lnds ofShame ne kind ofshame is healthy shame that puts me in touch with my lima human being. This shame tells I am not God, but am created by I t allows me to know that I stand eed of a lOving and forgiving One is the author of all creation. I need healthy shame to function in sociand to keep in balance a sense of portion and a sense of my place in universe. :1 contrast, unhealthy shame undermy self-esteem and promotes my ings of worthlessness. This shame s me that who I am is bad and that I beyond the help of God. Unhealthy me is to be contrasted with guilt. ilt is the feeling that what I have done d. Unhealthy shame is the feeling who I am is bad. lith unhealthy shame comes a loss hope. My belief that I am fundamen-' unworthy prevents me from joinorganizations in which I could be y known and causes me to hide the nacceptable" aspects of my being rom others. Unless I am healed of unalthy shame, I will not be able to feel .f-esteem. I will not be able to be a ly functioning member ofa commuity of hope. ming Brings Healing ace, gender, sexual orientation, age, class, and differences of physical nd mental abilities are conditions ..'inter 1995 shamed ones as IIdifferent" and IIother." Christ calls us to understand that in his reality, in his life and ministry, in his death and resurrection, God has lifted up the scapegoat and vindicated the One whom we blamed, shamed, humiliated, and ultimately tried to destroy. In raising Christ, God has reconciled for all time the scapegoated One as a full member of us. Christ's healing presence among us shows us the way to love and join hands, rather than cast any out, that we may all be One On 17). Gay men and lesbians, who have been traditionally cast out of churches, have experienced over and over the damaging message that our very beings as sexual creatures are flawed, evil, defective, and, consequently, shameful. Our identity, which God gave us to celebrate life, has been turned against us as a thing of shame to be hidden for fear of punishment and ostracism. One has only to look as far as the st. Patrick's Day Parade in Boston where people held placards saying IIGod says kill fags" and IIGod hates gays" to understand the kind of pain and brokenness gay men and lesbians feel daily. The community of faith is called to be an agency of healing, restoring the trust and self-esteem that have been lost by most gay men and lesbians when unhealthy shame was bound to our ~ sexual identity. It is called to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, and to let the oppressed go free (Is 61; Lk 4). It is called to name taken place, the healing process begins. In the naming, we can be restored to our place in the community of faithand restored to God. Only with this healing process underway can we demonstrate true empathy for others and for ourselves and understand the dignity and humor inherent in the human condition. James Carroll, writing in the Boston Globe in April 1993, said: liThe true mission of the Church is to work not for its own welfare or even for that of its own members but for what Jesus called 'the Kingdom of God' by which he meant simply the welfare of everyone." Carved into the portico of Old South Church is the scriptural invitation, IIBehold I have set before thee an open door." I give gratitude daily for this place which has offered an open door to me and to so many others. It is my prayer that we may be able together to discern how the Spirit is calling us to be an agency of healing for the welfare of all people. T Kenneth H. Orth, D.Min., is an ordained United Church ofChrist minister who offers pastoral psychotherapy and spiritual direction through Horizons Pastoral Counseling Associates in Arlington, Massachusetts. He serves on the Massachusetts Open and Affirming Task Force and is a member ofOld South Church in Boston, which recently becameONA. 19 To Be a Church Again By Jack Hoffmeister In the Stonewall Revolution of the sixties, gay men and lesbians learned that itis all right to be homosexual. We learned that sexual orientation is not our choice-it is given to us-but that what we do about it is our choice. We must decide whether we are going to suppress it, or hide it, or live it openly. The most revolutionary thing we learned was that living as an openly gay person is a viable choice, and that for many, ifnot all, it is the healthy choice, the self-fulfilling choice, the right choice. In the.sixties another revolution-the sexual revolution-was equally important to us. The sexual revolution told us that it is all right to have sex, that sex is a healthy and natural form of expression and of recreation, that taboos are wrong, that sex should not be held captive to old rules about propriety, marriage, age, gender, or love. Both revolutions produced muchneeded correctives to the attitudes and values of the past, as necessary as the changes in attitudes towards African Americans, women, and war. These revolutions have, however, left many unresolved questions and problems, particularly questions about sexual behavior. Although we are learning how the new attitudes and patterns of behavior affect us, we are making little progress in the equally important underside of those questions, the moral side. We know how sex works, but we do not know what sex means. Caught on a Snag As a result of the sexual revolution, sexual morality in America has been set adrift. Moral questions, because they are essentially religiOUS, have always been the province of the church. However, the church has failed to come up with the spiritual or intellectual reWhat happened in the Presbyterian Church is typical: we got caught on a snag. The entire field of sexual morality has been hooked on the question of the ordination of gays and lesbians. While we face a massive crisis over the meaning of sex and love which affects all our relationships and most institutions, this one peripheral, and indeed artificial, issue has put up a barrier that must be overcome before the Presbyterians can begin to function like a church again. Why did this happen? I think it happened because most of the church leadership is still not ready or willing to come to grips with the changes that occurred in the sexual revolution. Some, a remnant from my generation, were raising their families during the sixties, struggling to keep their values intact, and have never accepted the changes in thinking. Others are products of the conservative backlash of the seventies and eighties who hearken back to a romanticized notion of the morality of the "good old days." Still others belong to a small but aggressive, vocal, and united minority who approach moral issues from a fundamentalist stance. When openly gay people sought ordination fundamentalists objected, and instead of quickly overriding them, a majority allowed this relatively simple doctrinal dispute to excuse them from confronting their own confusion and fear over sex, with what it means in their professional and personal life. They have not budged for nearly fifteen years! Experiencing a Moral Crisis Ina very practical sense, this impasse is a disaster. People are not getting the sources (much less the strength of leadGay ordination is a snag in the struggle to ership) which we need to pOint us towards a new moral imperative. define sexual morality. Open Hands 20 s:7:mtuaI and moral guidance they need most intimate part of their lives. ,;\'hat they are hearing is out-ofconflicted, naive, or simply wrong. " and lesbian people are especially of that guidance. With a new ity and a new role in society, we a much clearer sense of the imporof sex in relationships as an ex' on of love and as a statement of .1itment. It is a cruel irony that the .. should choose to exclude us. other factor compounds our sepafrom the church: the whole hisand intensity of the struggle of gay and lesbians for acceptance in so", The process of political polarizahas required gay men, lesbians, and gay people" to unite, to gloss over !' diversity and the problems that in what is a new arena of social uring. In the face of an opposition is not only immoral, but at times -threatening, to admit that gays are ,:thing less than "gentle, angry pIe" has been regarded as impolitic. However, gay men and lesbians are more saintly than anyone else . ere sex is concerned, we must adess some very disturbing realities. Gays have been using sex to make ".ends and to demonstrate prowess mong their peers. They have been us. g sex to make statements about themselves as unfettered, self-affirming indi.duals. They have been using sex to make political statements, spit-in-theeye-of-society statements. Many have quired habits of sexual behavior that are socially inappropriate. They have eveloped obsessions that amount to euroses. Those gay men and lesbians ',':ho have not accepted their identity":ho are struggling to hide it or suppress t -are suffering from the denial, the fear of exposure, the self-loathing that drive so many to suicide. Notice that while some of these probems and questions relate specifically to gay men and lesbians, they are all rooted in moral issues that are universal. A reluctance to treat sex respectfully or reverently pervades all of society. Promiscuity, sexual prowess and peer pressure, sexual obsession, and failure to make commitments are everybody's plagues and the results are universally devastating. The battle over ordination of gays Winter 1995 and lesbians has prevented the Presbyterian Church from helping not only gay men and lesbians but all of its people in this moral crisis. That is tragic. That it should allow an anachronistic doctrinal dispute to stand in its way is a disgrace. Working toward Moral Clarity I t is tempting to simply give up on the church and look elsewhere. That is what most gay men and lesbians have done, as has nearly everyone else where questions of sex are concerned. Where have they gone? To the movies? To the TV talk shows? To the schools, where that same anachronistic element has put up the same barriers? The fact is there is no substitute for the church to meet our need for moral insight and authority. Only the church can tell us why any part of our life is of importance or value beyond the self-contained system of pragmatism. Crippled as the church is, I believe we must stick with it. For those of us who value our church, who continue to call ourselves Christians, there is no other choice. The church needs us ifit is to start acting like a church again. As I see it, we have two jobs here. One is the ongoing effort to get rid of the ban on ordination of gay men and lesbians. The other job is more inclusive-and more important: we have to do what we can to see that the church once again serves as a moral standard bearer. The commissioners at the last Presbyterian General Assembly gave up. They said in effect, "There's nothing we can do; deal with it yourselves." I think we should answer 1/All right, we will!" However, we should not interpret it as an invitation simply to continue fighting the definitive guidance. The ban on ordination must be removed; it is a cancer. While it is not yet cured, we should treat it as if it were in remission until a cure is found. We owe it to ourselves and to our faith to not let the ban on ordination stop us from participating in the whole life of the church, from behaving like the Christians we know we are. We who are gay and lesbian can contribute a special insight into the moral needs and realities of sex in the 1990s. The last sexuality study was a good start. That it tripped up on the gay issue merely demonstrates how important honest, open participation from gay men and lesbians is. The church needs us if it is to start acting like a church again. What we have to do is to behave as if the ban on gay men and lesbians didn't exist. We have to work towards moral clarity unhindered by the nagging feeling that we are not wanted here. We have to reach out to gays and lesbians and to all others who need understanding, whose lives are being torn apart by the seeming incompatibility of sex and love. We have to reach out as if we had something to give them. For indeed we do. A new sexual morality will be realized only as an integral part of the entire scope of the church's impact on our lives. Sex raises the most fundamental questions about love, honesty, responsibility, holiness. How are we to articulate the love we feel for one another? If life is holy, can the force that puts life into motion be anything less? All of us, regardless of our sexual orientations, bring these questions to the altar. Each of us, because of our sexual orientations, has answers to share. T Note This article was first published in More Light Update, October 1993, pp. 5-7. Jack Hoffmeister was raised in Rochester, New York, and schooled at Swarthmore College, Union Seminary, and Columbia University. After a long career as a professional actor and model, he is now concentrating on writing, occasional preaching, and serving as an elder in the Palisades Presbyterian Church in New York. 21 (~I'T1~ J\ (~1-l1~1~l:t I:' ()l:t ()lJl:t 1~'TJ\ N(~1~1..1(~J\I.. 131:t()rl'1-l1~I:tS J\Nl) Slsrl'l~ltS NO, that is not the first line of a joke! Evangelical Christians in mainline Protestantism have done something good for the church and for those of us who call for the acceptance of gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals. They have tlcome out of the closet." For years, our evangelical brothers and sisters have been raising a theological issue in the guise of a social practice issue: homosexuality. Homosexuality is not, and never was, their real issue. Their real issue was, and is, the authority of the Scriptures. A necessary prerequisite for faith for many evangelical Christians is a belief that Scripture is authoritative, if not inerrant. Without a tangible, touchable set of words as a foundation for their faith, many feel their entire faith can crumble. Mter lOO-plus years of exposure to higher criticism and other evolving methods of interpretation of Scrip-r ture, they correctly felt that too many biblical interpretations had become tlmoving targets." One issue they felt could be biblically supported was opposition to homosexuality. Recent studies in most denominations have confirmed that the few words in the Bible which refer to same-gender sexual practice are negative-a fact we cannot deny. Condemnation of homosexuality became the symbolic stand-in for evangelical Christians' real issue: erosion of the authority of Scripture. The Evangelical Quantum Shift Most of that disguised, symbolic opposition changed in November 1993 with the Re-Imagining Conference. The wide variety of expressions of faith at that conference sent a shock wave through the evangelical camp. The evangelicals' belief in the authority of Scripture was directly questioned, along with their belief that salvation comes through Christ alone. By Tom Griffith They are challenging us where we need to be challenged. After that conference, evangelicals finally began raising theological issues under their own colors. Using phrases such as "belief in the SCriptures and the normative creeds and confessions of faith of our church," they began to challenge us to define our beliefs. They are opposed to the explorational theological pOSitions of many in our churches. Though they still "wave the flag" on the issue of homosexuality, evangelicals are now talking about their real issues. They are no longer in their "anti-homosexuality" closet! As Christians who seek to be in supportive ministry to and with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons, the best thing we can do is to cheer for our evangelical brothers and sisters who are making this quantum shift in thinking and tactics. They are doing us and the churchat-large a major favor. They are challenging us where we need to be challenged. A Call to Liberal Honesty Now it is our turn to get honest. Although the creeds of our denominations pay lip service to the idea that Scripture is "authoritative" and "sufficient both for faith and for practice," many of us have moved far beyond that notion in our theological thinking. We are only deceiving ourselves-and lying to our evangelical brothers and sisterswhen we deny the shift we have made. We have moved beyond Luther's sola Scriptura (only Scripture) for the same reason the Catholic Church moved beyond the canonized Scriptures after the fourth century. We recognize that understandings of the intervention of the Holy into the lives of the faithful change as living situations change. "New occasions teach new duties." We have moved far beyond the idea that the Bible is exclusively normative and literally authoritative for our faith. To my thinking, that is good! What is bad is that we have tried to con ourselves and others by saying "we haven't changed our position." Furthermore, few of us retain belief in Christ as the sole way to salvation. We trust that God can work under many other names and in many other forms to save people. Our views have changed over the years and evangelicals know it. At least, they have the honesty to call us to honesty. Can we admit that we find it helpful to explore the logical consequences of our faith, even if it moves us in directions which our churches have not affirmed in the past? I believe that if we can, we will end up being both surprised and pleased. Evangelical persons I know care greatly about having both their beliefs and themselves treated with seriousness and acceptance. They do not want to be treated as if their faith is unimportant. Our denial about changes in our faith feels to them like a casual dismissal of their faith, and of them. Ifwe can be mutually honest, maybe we can finally move beyond the issue of acceptance of gay men and lesbians as part of God's creation. We have far more in common with evangelical Christians than we have differences. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all join in opening church doors to all who profess faith in Jesus as the Christ, regardless of orientation? If that could happen, we would probably all be a little bit closer to the realm of God's love. I thank my evangelical brothers and sisters for calling us to honesty. I cheer what they are dOing. I hope you will too! 'Y Tom Griffith is pastor of Crescent Heights United Methodist Church (a Reconciling Congregation) in West Hollywood, California. Open Hands 22 Jl\~l~~I(~J\IJ (~1~J\IJIJ1~~(~1~~ J\l~l~J\I) By Alice O'Donovan fter a recent worship service, a woman asked, with tears in her eyes, liDo you ever talk with e about baptism? I have never been lzed." Of course I talk with people baptism. I am the ordained pasa small congregation. bat this woman needs to hear-and s to believe-is that God loves her lesses her in her love for a woman. stands at the door of the church ering if she dares to come in. She .e reason that we have welcoming rches. We will make her welcome. ~n she enters the waters of baptism sits at table in my church, love will . again. 'ke this woman, the Universal Fel" 'ship of Metropolitan Community .urches (UFMCC) has been knocking e door of the church-the National uncH of Churches of Christ in the The UFMCC has been waiting over ecade for a welcome. The reality of sacred dream of the reign of God, ere all creation celebrates its being ove, is yet to come. The bitterly anpnistic division of the Church into urches and the exclusion of the lesbifaithful are but two signs that we e not yet living the fullness of God's e. How do we open the doors of our urches and the doors of the NCC so at those who long for healing love 'ght come in to sit at table and share the breaking of bread? ,.-Ancient Foe Persists he force behind the closed doors and the unwelcome table is our ancient heterosexism/homophobia. It is that .. emy which has permitted the NCC ce 1983 to exclude the UFMCC from fullness of welcome and memberip. It is that enemy which holds local urches back in their welcoming pross, It is that enemy which is antithetito the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let us be clear. So long as the UFMCC e.xcluded from the NCC, the witness he National Council is a tainted wit~s. When the UFMCC is fully wel~e at the table ofJesus Christ as it is "nter 1995 prepared in the NCC, love can claim another victory. Present Realities Using stark terms to describe present realities, Rev. John Thomas, chair of NCe's Counseling Committee, repoited to the General Board in November 1994: Some member communions feel that questions related to homosexuality must be seen as settled ... They have little interest in continued conversation.. . Other communions believe that questions surrounding homosexuality must be addressed ecumenically in the Council... However, the inability or the unwillingness of member communions to talk with each other about these questions will not help us preserve unity ... Our choice is between dialogue and further conflict/confrontation, and this confrontation will come from among the member communions as well as from outside the Council. Thomas acknowledged that there are things we do not know, at least not yet. We don't know how to move this Council to address the tough questions that loom over us like a cloud that neither indifference nor denial can dispel. We don't know how to move our member communions to risk encountering each other in ways that honor perspective on how we attend to scripture and tradition and to the changing requirements of hospitality in our time. We don't know how to establish a climate where those whose faith understanding make the fullness of hospitality to gay and lesbian persons impossible and those whose faith commitments make such inclusion a requirement can gather together at a common table of dialogue without suspicion, caricature or stereotype. We don't know how to do this. So we must wait... So we Finding a "Way~Out oJ'.j~p Way" wel~oming congregations carth~ip N€C find a "way oll! of no ~y." ,. iff' ~~t; :~, c .-U\~ ._.. ' .,,< ,,:J% Engag~1.in ministry wi~!i. IOGaL7purnenicai partners wtr~1 :sha~e the visiqnAand.,!he work. ". \ . "1t • Joiriwidcal,istate, and regiobal coun~ils of ?n 9penlyH h Board U~MCC churches arid particip9tein their miJ!istries and th~i%governa·nce. i' • Ask yorr;§16~al~lt,state, or regiomtl 'counG!1 to a~opt ana communicate resolution:sm sup~or~ 9,f ..;til.~mbership forU~ry1CCjn the National C61:JncitwWfJili ;; • Ask'1y.our genomination to{.@eat.lesbian otgay m~'mber as either prO)(yor f' regular aelE~gat~itoJhe(~eneral the National Council ot~tnurch,~s. 1 • Ad?pt and forwar,dJq~he ~e~~ra1 Sesre.tar¥. of the NCC resofution~... ?r statements of sl.lpporti~or the inclusion t%t~~ as a member of Eb~NCe. will wait. Not disband. Not quit. But wait. Wait to find a way out of no way.! What Next? Clearly, there is work to be done in the national ecumenical setting. We must: • Bring the UFMCC into full membership of the NCC; • Continue to place lesbigay concerns into the work and ministry of the NCC; • Insist that the NCC itself become fully inclusive of lesbian and gay persons in its staff, personnel policies, and practices. Welcoming congregations in every tradition are opening their doors, setting more places at the table. The doors of the National Council of Churches are still closed. Surely, the One who stands at the door and knocks will gUide and strengthen us until all the doors are open. T Note IExcerpted from the Report ofthe Counseling Committee, NCC, November 1994. Alice O'Donovan, pastor of First Congregational Church of South Windham, Connecticut, is a United Church of Christ proxy delegate to the General Board of the National Council of Churches. 23 ~ ~f4ft"'f"f"S t~C:' ~"f'ft ~ 1=OR 'Cn€' SA.R.€' 01= n€'A.L1NCj A. Responsive Confession n-nd A.ssu-rCl.-nce Created by Cheryl D. Harrell [Ifpossible, invite people to gather in a circle for this confession and assurance.} LEFf: We confess that we are afraid of the unknown ... the stranger ... the other. RIGHT: We confess that we are afraid of the feminine ... the sexual. ..the body. LEFf: We confess that we are afraid of the power of emotions ... passion ... desire. RIGHT: We have cut ourselves off from the earth and from our own bodies. LEFf: How shall we ever heal? How shall we ever know wholeness again? RIGHT: We have forgotten your charge to receive the stranger. We have missed opportunities to see the Christ in your created diversity. LEFf: We have forgotten your invitation to be responsible, creative, and playful. We have missed the Spirit of Christ. RIGHT: We are broken in heart, broken in body, broken in spirit. ALL: o GOD, as a church we ask your help in casting off our collective guilt so we do not repeat the fears and mistakes of the past. Forgive us. Restore us to wholeness in your Creative Love for our bodies, our sexuality, and our amazing diversity. Give us all courage to be fully who we are. Bring us into right relationship with you and with each other. Bind our hearts with love, so that we may commit ourselves to seeing. the Christ within ourselves and within our neighbor. [The leader now turns to a neighbor, takes their hand and, looking into their eyes, asks, "Do] have your permission to see the Christ within you?" When a reply is made, the leader then says, "] do see the Christ within you. When you know this is true, pass it on."Allow time for each person in turn to ask the question and share this interactive assurance around the circle.} * LEADER: In allowing the Christ to be seen within us and in seeing the Christ within each other, we are made whole. ALL: Rejoicing in the grace of seeing the Holy, we are moved to create hospitality for all, recognizing that we are all One and there is no Other. Note *This can be a vulnerable but very healing ritual ifyour congregation is ready for it. Cheryl D. Harrell is a clinical social worker and pastoral counselor who also serves on the Open and Affirming task Force for the Massachusetts Conference of the United Church ofChrist. Open Hands 24 GAY/LESBIAN INTEREST Equal Rites Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies, and Celebrations l' {'V" Paper $14,99 Kittredge Cherry and January Zalmon Sherwood, editors Equal Rites is a much-needed collection of worship services, ceremonies, and celebrations that is attuned to the unique needs of sexual minorities. The selections, written primarily by lesbians and gay men, include rites of spiritual beginnings, healing, blessings, holy communion, and pride and empowerment. Also included are funeral and memorial services, seasonal and holiday rites, and covenant rites for couples. More than a collection, Equal Rites can also serve as a reference book for creating unique and meaningful worship services that address significant aspects of lesbian and gay spirituality. Contributors include Malcolm Boyd, Chris Glaser, Carter Heyward, Diann L. Neu, and Troy D. Perry. Know My Name A Gay Liberation Theology Richard Cleaver Paper $15,99 April The place of gay men and women in the community of faith has become one of the most divisive debates in the church today. Roman Catholic writer and activist Richard Cleaver takes a fresh approach to this issue by examining the struggles of gay men and lesbians in the church, specifically the Roman Catholic Church, through the lens of liberation theology. He offers not simply a "gay" reading of scripture, however, but one that is spiritually challenging. Coming Out to God Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their Families and Friends Chris Glaser Paper $9,99 Now available "A wonderful collection of compassionate prayers." -The Other Side ""'i'i""iii""iiiii I iiiil1111 Sl"'\Sl"'\el"'\e~el"'\' '~'",'~~,-l-,I ~'n'rl~'rl iii iii Winter 1995 WESTMINSTER JOHN KNOX PRESS At your bookstore, or call toll... free 1..800..672.. 1789 100 Witherspoon Street, Louisville, KY 40202... 1396 25 On Change The church is on a journey, moving from a place of sexual exclusivity to one of sexual inclusivity. Whether we are conservative, moderate or liberal, radical right or radical left, our journey is arduous and often painful. It is filled with partial breakthroughs that seem to evaporate in the midst of continued fears, gross misunderstandings, stony silences, and new rejections. Yet, our journey is also full of profound faith, new insights, life-giving dialogue, and outstretched hands. Church-transforming change is like that! We do not all view needed changes in the same way. Like women described in Defecting in Place, some of us in the welcoming church movement may be transformists.1 We see our role as promoting IIsystemic change throughout the church in leadership, liturgy, and theology." Others of us may be reformists. We believe our role in the welcoming movement is to work for some changes, but we . prefer to keep the basic structures of the church as they are. Mter all, reformists say, we are making small gains toward sexual inclusivity! Still others of us in the movement are probably conformists, not really interested in changing the church as church. We focus instead on personal relationships with God and Christ and on welcoming individual persons whom we meet. We are all trying to respond to the Christian mandate to be the inclusive church of God. Our approaches remain very different. We are challenged to acknowledge the differences and affirm each others' work by understanding where our approach fits into the larger picture. As the church on a journey, we live simultaneously in the rooted traditions of the past, the shifting sands of the present, and the flickering traces of God's II new earth." Our welcoming movement is part of a much larger journey, for the church as a whole is moving out of one paradigm which has informed its life and mission for centuries into another that has only a vague form and shape. We live, as Loren Mead puts it, in lithe time between paradigms." Paradigm: An overarching model or pattern with a particular set of coherent traditions, customs, beliefs, and ways of living. Mead, an Episcopal priest, writer, and founder of the Alban Institute, lays out a bigger picture for us in The Once and Future Church.2 He identifies two paradigm shifts that occurred in prior centuries in the church. Jesus called forth the first one-from our Jewish and Greco-Roman roots to the Apostolic Paradigm. During the few generations it took to make this first paradigm shift, much turmoil occurred, new roles emerged, and new ways. of doing things were developed. Arguments abounded for doing things the old, established way. The second paradigm shift, which Mead calls the Christendom Paradigm, began during the fourth century with the conversion of Constantine and continued until Christianity became the official religion of the Empire. This paradigm guided us into the twentieth century. Under this paradigm, the life and mission of the church again changed in drastic ways. Now, says Mead, we live in a time between paradigms. Our welcoming movement has emerged in this time between paradigms. We raise sexual inclusivity and affirmation of diversity as necessary foundations for the paradigm under which the church will live in future centuries. Participating in such a shift is never smooth or easy. At times our roles will conflict. Pain on all sides will prevail. Just keep remembering: Paradigm shift occurring! God's new earth emerging! It's a big enough image to sustain! Notes 1Winter, Lummis, and Stokes,. Defecting in Place. (Crossroad, 1994), pp. 32-33. 2Loren B. Mead, The Once and Future Church. (The Alban Institute, 1991), pp. 8-29. " W oming"Tb.; ;emes for Deadline 1995 Roots ofPrejudice: Confronting the Conflict Apr 11995 1996 Gender and Transgender: Exploring the Issues Jun 11995 19% Intimacy: Redefining Relqtionships Sep 11995. 1996 Airing Out Closets: Individual, Family, Congregation, Denomination Dec 11995 1966 "J![l1,lOfing Divetsities...Reiarej,less ofRace, GentJe~,orSexual Ori~t(lt!vqd. . Mar 1 1~ .< •••••••,,':'..~. »> %...:>;:>,, :=:::-«-: ~"~'i!>.>i.w:'¥1Ji0 ~=~~::::::, J::...iI 0-'::'%. • ';;,M. Ifyou would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCp, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641 Open Hands 26 ments &Letters os ,\Tote: This first letter is excerpted and adapted from a longer letter as originally addressed to pastors ofthe Southeastern Synod, ELeA. er to Pastors came to the Southeastern Synod of the Lutheran Church in rica about the time the civil rights movement began on the ory of the synod. The movement was one of the consequences hat epic struggle we call World War II. Itwas destined to change nation and a lot of us along with it. As I look back on this half tury, it gives me satisfaction to know that I was on the right e of the civil rights issue. I am not boasting. I was pushed into mg on the right side when the synod made me chairman of .lat was then the Social Missions Committee. Faced with the ice of supporting the leadership of the national church or reing it, I deemed it my responsibility to support the position of church, a decision which broadened my horizons and led me see how wrong I had been to support discrimination against ack people by not playing an active role in ending that discrimiiion. When I began my ministry, a Black person might be found rutting the grass or cleaning the church. He or she could not have been found inside at worship, and certainly not in the pulpit. _k>w at the synod I see Black people as delegates and as pastors. And I think most of us now agree that this is the way things should be in the Christian church. I take satisfaction in knowing that I did something to diminish racial discrimination in the churches. The civil rights movement gave new impetus to women to push open doors previously closed to them. We can be grateful for this change. Some of us may be apprehensive about the kind of competition women will give us, but I don't think we would defend an all-male clergy in a church where all are said to be one in Christ. The civil rights movement stirred the gay and lesbian community to step forth and claim the rights promised to all citizens of this country. This movement did not begin on the territory of the Southeastern Synod as the civil rights movement did, but it appears that some crucial battles in this struggle against discrimination will be won or lost on our territory. These people have always been a part of our congregations. We have taught them to hide their identity, to be ashamed of what they are. We have driven most of them out of our congregations by our judgmental attitude toward them. In the church, where we all are by the grace of God, these people should have the respect and the acceptance we now offer Blacks and women. The struggle against injustice manifested toward Black people was the big issue of my time. The struggle against injustice for gay and lesbian people is a big issue at this time. Where do you come down in this struggle? As a Christian, can you justify discrimination against these people? Winter 1995 To those who would justify discrimination against gay people by pointing to Bible texts, I would say more is said specifically about divorce by the Bible-and by better authorities than Moses or Paul. Jesus himself has some very plain words to say condemning divorce. Yet we have found a way to accept divorce among our people and even among our clergy. Can we not find the way to be accepting and loving toward those persons whose IIcrime" is loving another person like them? I write to you with the hope that you will be engaged in helping the church accept these persons-this despised minority who are always with us. Ifyou will do this, I believe you will look back on your ministry in years to come and be proud that you helped bring down another barrier within the church. May God bless your ministry. . Rufus B. Cuthbertson, Dahlonega, Georgza About our Magazine Dear Editor: I have subscribed to Open Hands for some time now and eagerly look forward to each new copy. I have enjoyed reading the articles for my own growth and for use as teaching material in educational classes. My interest in your publication was originally sparked by the fact that I have a son who is gay. When he was first coming to grips with his homosexual identity, he felt deserted by the church. Open Hands is instrumental in showing that doesn't have to happen. I will have a book published in late March-early April titled Geaning Closets: A Mother's Story. It is the story of my faith journey from the discovery that I have a gay son to the acceptance of that son. Writing the book was not as difficult as having the courage to have it published and put on a public bookshelf. I was concerned about the consequences to my family and inevitable conflict that would follow its publication. More than once, I opened my new copy of Open Hands to find something that encouraged me to keep going. Thanks! Beverly Cole, Salina, KS Dear RCP: Sometimes.l feel very much alone in the United Methodist Church. Wearing a button that says IIAnother Straight Person for Gay & Lesbian Rights" to my first annual conference, Idiscovered quickly who was of like spirit and mind. Reading Open Hands reminds me, when the process toward ordination seems most frightening and futile, that there are many who are not afraid to share God's love. . Chnstopher Buckley, Menlo Park, CA About Campus Ministries Dear Mark: The new issue, Campus Ministries with Sexual Minorities, is wonderful. How do you keep turning out such a quality product?! Bill Johnson, minister for AIDS Program & Ministries Coordination, UCC Board for Homeland Ministries Readers IQvi:fedloRespond Send us your CQll'lfl'Ients on past themes and articles Or your concerns about ,':::= :>.. ' ' y. ' particular struggles in the welcoming church community. Write ashort pe.rsqnal reflection piece on one of the themes for upcoming issues (see box on page 26). Send to Editor, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, ILS0641.fax: 3121736-5475. 27 New Churches in Our Welcoming Movement We welcome these congregations which have joined our growing grassroots movement in recent months. ~TATAT~ r.,.....,.....,..... OPEN -m-!~!~!~ r.,"'''''''A''''' L OPEN AND AFFIRMING Community Church of Chesterland Chesterland, Ohio "A beacon of social awareness and activity," this diverse ISO-member congregation recently celebrated its 17Sth anniversary. Committed to the nurture of its members, the church's Called to Care Board organizes lay visitation within the congregation. The church is equally interested in outreach to the community, especially in surrounding Geauga County where it has a strong history of activity. The Church Growth Board is looking at future directions for the church and asking for ideas from all its members. The congregation maintains an active interest in issues affecting gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. Members are helping plan an AIDS Testing Center to serve their area. Crombje Street UCC Salem, Massachusetts A small church with a big mission, the 30 members of Crombie Street have for many years provided a soup kitchen, food pantry, and shelter for homeless adults. The church is part of a regional group of UCC churches called the Essex Association. Recently, the Association took on a two-year mission project of raising funds to rehabilitate flooring, bathrooms, etc. in the Crombie Street building so that it may continue its vital ministries in the community. The congregation is considering more active ways to advertise its presence as an ONA church, as well. First Church of Christ Glastonbury, Connecticut A suburban congregation of 1400 members, First Church emphasizes worship, educational ministries for all ages, and community involvement. Its strong youth program will include a trip to Tennessee where 40 young people and their advisors will participate in a mission work project. Members of the church also participate in area groups dealing with affordable housing and diversity issues in education. The church is reflecting on its ONA process and anticipates further ONA planning in the coming year. Mt. Sinai Congregational Church, UCC Mt. Sinai, New York Located in one of the villages of Long Island, this 77S-member congregation has a very active mission program which includes involvement in Habitat for Humanity, Heifer Project, an Interfaith Nutrition Network, and a food pantry. It offers strong Christian education and youth programs, with 2S young people attending Sunday School. The church continues to wrestle with some issues raised in its ONA process and to explore what its ONA commitment can mean in its life and witness. Sixth Avenue United Church Denver, Colorado This very diverse, urban congregation of 7S members is excited about the growth it is experiencing! New folks are coming to a church characterized by a sense of intimacy and offering novel, spirited worship. Sixth Avenue also has a dynamic music program (contemporary, traditional, and jazz). The congregation has been part of the Capitol Hill United Ministries, an ecumenical group which opposed Colorado's antigay Amendment 2. Its pastor is involved in the interfaith Voices of Faith which is planning a summer conference on the religious community's role in advocacy for gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons. Broadway UMC Chicago, Illinois Founded more than a century ago, Broadway experienced a renaissance in the mid-1980s when its building was destroyed by fire and a new facility constructed. As one of the only handicapped accessible public buildings in its North Side neighborhood, its building is used by many community groups. Located in a neighborhood whose population has changed dramatically about every decade in the past half-century, the Broadway congregation has learned to adapt and be in ministry with new groups of persons. Gay and lesbian persons are one of the more recent neighborhood groups to be welcomed. The Broadway congregation has grown dramatically to 21S members in the past three and a half years as it has received 148 new members. Open Hands 28 FOURTH NATIONAL CONVOCATION OF RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS I I ..1.-... --BIBLE STUDY led by Bishop Roy Sano special performance of HOME: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal BOUND for the l WORSHIP FORUMS PROMISED LAND Preaching: Rev. William Bouton Ms. M. Garlinda Burton .. .. . Rev. Dr. Annette Jones Bishop William Dew ...a spirit-filled gathenng of the whole family of God Rev. Jeanne Audrey Powers Rev. George McClain July 13-16, 1995 Rev. Andrew Robinson-Gaither Dr. Mel White Augsburg College, Minneapolis WORKSHOPS • COVENANT GROUPS • CHILDREN & YOUTH PROGRAMS For registration information, contact: Reconciling Congregation Program, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641. 312/736-5536; fax: 312/736-5475 Winter 1995 29 Widely-acclaimed original musical drama inviting lesbians & gay men to come "home" to church... HOME: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal OrIGinal Cast Recording (40 mins.) Compact Disc ................. '........................................ $15 Cassette Tape ..........:;............................................. $10 'E Video (105 min;.) ............................... ':: ........ '; .... $25 edited live recording of final tour performance. 10th Anniversary Video (25 mins.) ...................... $30 'ghlights from show and interViews with company. Add $3 s/Jipping to your order. ER FROM: Recopc!ling Congregation Program 3801 N.'Keeler Avenue ,Cl)ica~;';;i1.60641 , 3121736=5536 fax: 3121736-5475' Published music and score will be available in early 1995. act Tim McGinley, 622N. Riley, Indianapolis, IN 46201. 317/356-2215. tenary UMC I..ouis, Missouri .. historic downtown congregation, Centenary was founded 839 and has met in its building since 1869. Its 300 memrs live throughout the metropolitan area. Aggressive outh through newspapers and radio (with TV ads in 1995) has ught in newer, younger members over four years. Cente:y is well known for its music program. Its ministries inde an independent, nonsectarian elementary school, ser. ces for retired persons, and participation in Habitat for umanity and Project Hope. A chapter of Parents and Friends . Lesbians and Gays is now being organized. Chenango Street UMC B,nghamton, New York Located in what was the most prosperous neighborhood in :he city earlier this century, Chenango Street's membership peaked at 950 in the 1950s and has stabilized now at 200. Being vital, open congregation is key to Chenango Street's identity. -everal community arts and 12-step groups use the building. The Chenango Street Players present dramatic interpretations n Sunday worship. The congregation has attracted younger amilies and children in recent years. Newer members spurred the interest in becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Trinity UMC Kansas City, Missouri Located in a gentrified neighborhood in midtown Kansas City, Trinity has traditionally been a welcoming community. That tradition, along with a progreSSive perspective, has attracted many new, younger persons to the 300-member congregation in recent years. Many of these newer members are also gay. Trinity's mission is carried out through its support of several multi-church agencies in the community. The congregation is quite proud of its outstanding music program. [ RECO~HRISTJ Grace Lutheran Church Washington, D.C. Undaunted, this 260-member urban congregation revisited the decision to be a Reconciled in Christ congregation-and succeeded on its second try. The interlude brought kairos and chronos together. Grace celebrates being a multicultural faith community with membership representing nine African countries. Pastor Dean Moe commented that welcoming churches and the larger church need to be more intentional in outreach ministry celebrating diversity and more sensitive to multiethnic understandings about sexuality. Mark Your Calendars ... More Light Annual Conference, Seeking God's Song in a New Land, Baltimore, April 28-30, 1995. Contact: Bill Capel, 217/ 355-9825; Dick Hasbany, 503/345-4720. National Mfirmation 20th Anniversary Gathering, Capturing the Tradition-Responding to the Challenge, Dallas, April 2123, 1995. Contact: Affirmation, PO Box 1021, Evanston, IL 60204. Open and Mfirming Exultation, Gathered In Spirit-Gaining in Strength, Cleveland, October 13-15, 1995. Contact Ann Day, 508/856-9316. OUR WELCOMING MOVEMENT GROWS Since 1978,420 More Light (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ and United Church of Christ), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Reconciling (United Methodist), and Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) congregations and nineteen campus ministries have publicly declared that they welcome all persons, including lesbians and gay men. This is an increase of18% over one year ago! These "welcoming" communjties are in forty-one states, the District of Columbia, and Canada. Following is a complete list of congregations, alphabetically by state and city, followed by a list of campus ministries and judicatories. The affiliation of each is designated by the following codes: ML More Light (Presbyterian) aNA Open and Affirming (UCC) O&A Open and Affirming (Disciples) RIC Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) RC Reconciling Congregation (United Methodist) W&A Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) CONGREGATIONS ALASKA Palmer Church of the Covenant ~&A) ARIZONA Tucson St. Francis in the Foothills UMC (RC) ARKANSAS LittleRock Pulaski Heights Christian (O&A) CALIFORNIA Alameda First Christian (O&A) First Congregational (ONA) Albany Albany UMC (RC) Altadena Altadena Congregational (ONA) Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Baldwin Park First Presbyterian (ML) Belmont Congregational Church UCC (ONA) Benicia Community Congregational (ONA) Berkeley Berkeley & Richmond Intercity Ministry (O&A) First Baptist ~&A) St. John's Presbyterian (ML) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Univers~ Lutheran Chapel (RIC) University Church (O&A) Car/sbad Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Claremont Claremont UMC (RC) Claremont UCC, Congregational (ONA) Concord First Christian (O&A) Danville Peace Lutheran (RIC) EICerrito Mira Vista UCC (ONA) Eureka First Congregational (ONA) Fair Oaks Fair Oaks UMC (RC) Fairfax Fairfax Community (ONA) Fremont Niles Congregational UCC (ONA) Fresno Wesley UMC (RC) Hollywood First UMC (RC) Irvine Irvine UCC (ONA) Lafayette Lafayette Christian (O&A) Larkspur Redwoods Presbyterian (ML) Long Beach First Congregational UCC (ONA) Trin~ Lutheran (RIC) Los Angeles Mt. Hollywood Congregational UCC (ONA) Un~ed Univers~ (ML, RC) Wilshire UMC (RC) Marin City St. Andrews Presbyterian (ML) Milpitas Sunnyhills UMC (RC) Modesto College Avenup, Congregational (ONA) Newark Holy Redeemer Lutheran(RIC) North Hollywood St. Matthew's Lutheran (RIC) Toluca Lake UMC (RC) Oakland Fa~Lutheran (RIC) Lake Merritt UMC (RC) Lakeshore Avenue Baptist (W&A) Lutheran Peace Fellowship (RIC) Montclair Presbyterian (ML) Plymouth UCC (ONA) St. Paul Lutheran (RIC) Palo Alto Covenant Presbyterian (ML) First Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) First Presbyterian (ML) University Lutheran (RIC) Pasadena First Congregational UCC (ONA) Richmond Grace Lutheran (RIC) Sacramento Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer (RIC) San Diego First Lutheran (RIC) San Francisco Bethany UMC (RC) Calvary UMC (RC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) First Congregational UCC (ONA) First St. John's UMC (RC) First Un~ed Lutheran (RIC) Glide Memorial UMC (RC) HamiHon UMC (RC) Noe Valley Ministry (ML) Pine UMC (RC) Seventh Avenue Presbyterian (ML) St. Francis Lutheran (RIC) St. John's UCC (ONA) St. Mark's Lutheran (RIC) St. Paulus Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) San Jose Christ the Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) First Christian Church (O&A) New Community of Faith (W&A) St. Paul's UMC (RC) San Leandro San Leandro Community (W&A) San Mateo College Heights UCC (ONA) San Rafael Faith Lutheran (RIC) First UMC (RC) Santa Barbara La Mesa Community (ONA) Santa Cruz Grace UMC (RC) Santa Monica The Church in Ocean Park (RC) Sausalito First Presbyterian (ML) Stockton First Christian (O&A) Sunnyvale Congregational Community (ONA) Raynor Park Christian (O&A) St. John's Lutheran (RIC) Terra Linda Christ in Terra Linda (ML) Tiburon Community Congregational (ONA) Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran (RIC) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Vacaville St. Paul's UMC (RC) Vallejo First Christian (O&A) Walnut Creek Walnut Creek UMC (RC) West Hollywood Crescent Heights UMC (RC) West Hollywood Presbyterian (ML) Yucaipa Faith Lutheran (RIC) COLORADO Aurora Parkview Congregational UCC (ONA) Boulder First Congregational (ONA) Denver Cap~ol Heights Presbyterian (ML) Park Hill Congregational UCC (ONA) Sixth Avenue United (ONA) St. Paul's UMC (RC) Washington Park UCC (ONA) Evergreen Wild Rose UCC (ONA) Fort Collins St. Thomas University Lutheran (RIC) CONNECTICUT Coventry Second Congregational (ONA) Fairfield First Congregational (ONA) Glastonbury First Church of Christ (ONA) Hartford Central Baptist (W&A) First Church of Christ, UCC (ONA) Mansfield Center First Church of Christ (ONA) Middletown First Church of Christ ONA) New Haven Church of Christ in Yale Univ. (ONA) First &Summerfield UMC (RC) United Church on the Green (ONA) Noank Noank Baptist (W&A) South Glastonbury Congregational (ONA) Stamford St. John Lutheran (RIC) Storrs Storrs Congregational (ONA) Waterbury South Congregational (ONA) Windsor First Church UCC (ONA) DELAWARE Newark New Ark UCC (ONA) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Washington, D. C. Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Christ Lutheran (RIC) Christ UMC (RC) Church of the Reformation (RIC) Community of Christ Lutheran (RIC) Open Hands 30 UMC(RC) -~ Congregational (ONA) . Trility Lutheran (RIC) own Lutheran (RIC) Lutheran (RIC) -~ ":ulsLutheran (RIC) . ter Presbyterian (ML) -•United Church (ONA) Calvin Presbyterian (ML) -. Tmothy Lutheran (RIC) Presbyterian (ML) rant Park-Aldersgate UMC (RC) Church of the Crossroads (ONA) HonoluluLutheran (RIC) S lpaign McKinley Memorial Presbyterian (ML) St. Andrew's Lutheran (RIC) 1Cago Albany Park UMC (RC) Augustana Lutheran (RIC) Broadway UMC (RC) Christ the King Lutheran (RIC) Christ the Mediator Lutheran (RIC) Ebenezer Lutheran (RIC) Grace Baptist (W&A) Grace UMC (RC) Holy Covenant UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Immanuel Lutheran (RIC) Irving Park Christian (O&A) Irving Park UMC (RC) Lake View Lutheran (RIC) UncolnPark Presbyterian (ML) Mayfair UMC (RC) Peoples Church (ONA) Resurrection Lutheran (RIC) SI. Mark's Lutheran (RIC) SI. Paul's UCC (ONA) Trinity Lutheran (RIC) Unned Church of Rogers Park (RC) ' ersity Church (ONA, O&A) 00 Avenue UCC (ONA) Evanston First Baptist (W&A) HemenwayUMC (RC) Wheadon UMC (RC) Maywood Maywood House Church (RIC) OakPark Euclid Avenue UMC (RC) Good Shepherd Lutheran (RIC) Wilmette Winter 1995 First Congregational UCC (ONA) Winfield Winfield Community (RC) INDIANA Indianapolis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Northeast UCC (ONA) -South Bend Southside Christian (O&A) West Lafayette Shalom UCC (ONA) IOWA Ames Lord of Lffe Lutheran (RIC) University Lutheran (RIC) Cedar Rapids Faith UMC (RC) Clinton Clinton-Camanche Subgroup of Iowa MFSA (RC) Des Moines Plymouth Congregational UCC (ONA) Trinity UMC (RC) Urbandale UCC (ONA) Iowa City Faith UCC (ONA) KANSAS Kansas City ecumenikos (ML,ONA, O&A, RC) Olathe SI. Andrews Christian (O&A) Topeka Central Congregational UCC (ONA) KENTUCKY Henderson Zion UCC (ONA) Louisville Central Presbyterian (ML) LOUISIANA New Orleans St. Mark's UMC (RC) MARYLAND Baltimore First &Franklin Presbyterian (ML) SI. John's UMC (RC) SI. Mark's Lutheran (RIC) Gaithersburg Christ the Servant Lutheran (RIC) Lanham Good Samaritan Lutheran (RIC) Rockville Rockville Presbyterian (ML) Takoma Park Takoma Park Presbyterian (ML) ~ -~--~~ Amherst First CongregatiooaJ UCC (ONA) South CongregatiooaJ (ONA) AOOover BaIIardvaIe United (ONA,RC) Aubum Pakachoag (ONA) Boston Church of the Covenant (ONA, ML) Church of the United Community (ONA, O&A) Old South Church (ONA) Cambridge First Church, Congregational (ONA) Old Cambridge Baptist (W&A) University Lutheran (RIC) Danvers Holy Trinity UMC (RC) Framingham Grace UCC (ONA) Greenfield First Congregational UCC (ONA) Holliston First Congregational (ONA) Newburyport Belleville Congregational (ONA) Osterville United Methodist (RC) Salem Crombie Street UCC (ONA) Shrewsbury Mt. Olivet Lutheran(RIC) Wellesley Wellesley Congregational (ONA) Wendell Wendell Congregational (ONA) West Newton Second Churchin Newton UCC (ONA) Williamstown First Congregational UCC (ONA) First UMC (RC) Worcester First Baptist (W&A) United Congregational (ONA) MICHIGAN Ann Arbor Church of the Good Shepherd (ONA) Lord of Light Lutheran (RIC) Memorial Christian (O&A) Northside Presbyterian (ML) Detroit Truth Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Douglas Douglas Congregational UCC (ONA) Kalamazoo Phoenix Community UCC (ONA) Ypsilanti First Congregational UCC (ONA) MINNESOTA Edina Edina Community Lutheran (RIC) Mankato First Congregational UCC (ONA) Maple Grove Pilgrims United (ONA) Minneapolis Community of St. Martin (RIC) First Congregational (ONA) Grace University Lutheran (RIC) Hennepin Avenue UMC (RC) Holy Trinity Lutheran (RIC) JudsonMemorial Baptist (W&A) Lyndale UCC (ONA) Mayflower Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Our Savior'sLutheran (RIC) Prospect Park UMC (RC) Spirit of the Lakes (ONA) Temple Baptist (W&A) University Baptist (W&A) Walker Community (RC) Wesley UMC (RC) New Brighton United Church of Christ (ONA) Northfield First UCC (ONA) Robbinsdale Robbinsdale UCC (ONA) St. Paul St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran (RIC) Wayzatta St. Luke Presbyterian (ML) MISSOURI Kansas City Abiding Peace Lutheran (RIC) Fountain of Hope Lutheran (RIC) Kairos UMC (RC) St. Mark's Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Van Brunt Blvd. Presbyterian (ML) St. Louis Centenary UMC (RC) Gibson Heights United (ML) St. Marcus Evangelical UCC (ONA) University City Bethel Lutheran(RIC) MONTANA Missoula University Congregational UCC (ONA) NEBRASKA Omaha First Lutheran (RIC) NEW HAMPSHIRE Hanover Our Savior Lutheran (RIC) Jaffrey United Church(ONA) Plymouth PlymouthCongregational (ONA) NEW JERSEY South Orange First Presbyterian &Trinity (ML) NEW MEXICO Santa Fe Christ Lutheran (RIC) United Church (ONA) NEW YORK A!bany Emmanuel Baptist (W&A) Binghamton Chenango Street UMC (RC) Brookhaven Old SouthHaven Presbyterian (ML) Brooklyn Church of Gethsemane (ML) Lafayette Avenue Presbyterian (ML) Park Slope UMC (RC) St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran (RIC) Buffalo Amherst Community (ONA;O&A) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Churchville Union Congregational (ONA) Copake CraryvilleUMC (RC) Dobbs Ferry South Presbyterian (ML) Gloversville First Congregational UCC (ONA) Grand Island Riverside Salem (ONA) Henrietta John Calvin Presbyterian (ML) Marcel/us 31 First Presbyterian (ML) Mt.Sinai MI. Sinai Congregational UCC (ONA) New York Broadway UCC (ONA) Central Presbyterian (ML) Church of SI. Paul &SI. Andrew (RC) Good Shepherd-Faith Presbyterian (ML) Grace &SI. Paul's Lutheran (RIC) Jan Hus Presbyterian (ML) Judson Memorial (ONA, W&A) Madison Avenue Baptist (W&A) Metropolitan-Duane UMC (RC) Our Savior's Atonement Lutheran(RIC) Park Avenue Christian (O&A) Riverside (ONA; W&A) Rutgers Presbyterian (ML) SI. Peter's Lutheran (RIC) Trinity Evangelical Lutheran (RIC) Washington Square UMC (RC) West-Park Presbyterian (ML) Oneonta First UMC (RC) Palisades Palisades Presbyterian (ML) Rochester Calvary SI. Andrews (ML) Downtown Presbyterian (ML) The House Church (ONA) Third Presbyterian (ML) Westminster Presbyterian (ML) Sayville Sayville Congregational UCC (ONA) Yorktown Heights First Presbyterian (ML) NORTH CAROLINA Chapel Hill Church of the Reconciliation (ML) United Church (ONA) Raleigh Community UCC (ONA) Pullen Memorial Baptist (W&A) Winston-Salem First Christian (O&A) OHIO Brecksville United Church of Christ (ONA) Chesterland Community Church (ONA) Cincinnati MI. Auburn Presbyterian (ML) Cleveland Archwood UCC (ONA) Liberation UCC (ONA) Pilgrim Congregational UCC (ONA) Cleveland Heights Church of the Redeemer (RC) Noble Road Presbyterian (ML) Columbus Calvary Lutheran (RIC) Redeemer Lutheran (RIC) Third Avenue Community (RC) Dayton Congregation for Reconciliation (ONA) Granville First Baptist (W&A) Norton Grace UCC (ONA) . Toledo Central UMC (RC) OKLAHOMA Tulsa UM Community of Hope (RC) OREGON Ashland United Church of Christ (ONA) Corvallis First UMC (RC) Estacada Estacada UMC (RC) Lake Oswego Lake Oswego UCC (ONA) Milwaukie Milwaukie UCC (ONA) Portland First Congregational (ONA) First UMC (RC) Metanoia Peace Community (RC) Southwest United (ONA) SI. James Lutheran (RIC) University Park UMC (RC) Salem First Congregational UCC (ONA) PENNSYLVANIA Philadelphia Calvary UMC (RC) First UMC of Germantown (RC) SI. Michael's Lutheran (RIC) Tabernacle United (ONA, ML) University Lutheran of Incamation (RIC) Wayne Central Baptist (W&A) RHODE ISLAND Newport Newport Congregational (ONA) SOUTH CAROLINA Columbia Gethsemane Lutheran (RIC) SOUTH DAKOTA Erwin Erwin UCC (ONA) TENNESSEE Memphis First Congregational UCC (ONA) Nashville Brookmeade Congregational UCC (ONA) Edgehill UMC (RC) TEXAS Austin First English Lutheran (RIC) Trinity UMC (RC) Dallas Bethany Presbyterian (ML) Midway Hills Christian (O&A) Fort Worth SI. Matthew's Lutheran (RIC) Houston Bering Memorial UMC (RC) Community of the ReconcilingServant (ML) VERMONT Bennington Second Congregational (ONA) Burlington Christ Presbyterian(ML) College Street Congregational (ONA) Middlebury Congregational UCC (ONA) Rutland Rutland UMC (RC) VIRGINIA Alexandria Peace Lutheran (RIC) Harrisonburg Sanctuary UCC (ONA) WASHINGTON Chelan Fullness of God Lutheran (RIC) Federal Way Wayside UCC (ONA) Leavenworth Faith Lutheran (RIC) Medical Lake Shalom UCC (ONA) Mountlake Terrace Terrace View Presbyterian (ML) Olympia Community for Christian Celebration (ONA) Pullman Community Congregational UCC (ONA) Richland Shalom UCC (ONA) Seattle Broadview Community UCC (ONA) Central Lutheran (RIC) Findlay Street Christian (O&A) First Baptist (W&A) Pilgrim Congregational (ONA) Plymouth Congregational (ONA) Prospect UCC (ONA) Ravenna UMC (RC) Richmond Beach Congregational UCC (ONA) University Baptist (W&A) University Christian (O&A) University Congregational (ONA) Wallingford UMC (RC) Vancouver First Congregational UCC (ONA) WISCONSIN EauClaire University Lutheran (RIC) Madison First Baptist (W&A) First Congregational UCC (ONA) Orchard Ridge UCC (ONA) University (RC) Milwaukee Church of the Reformation (RIC) Cross Lutheran (RIC) Plymouth UCC (ONA) Village Lutheran (RIC) Racine Our Savior'S Lutheran (RIC) Sheboygan Wesley UMC (RC) CANADA/SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon King of Glory Lutheran (RIC) CAMPUS MINISTRIES CALIFORNIA Chapman University Pride Alliance (O&A) Wesley Foundation at UCLA (RC) DELAWARE Wesley Foundation at University of Delaware (RC) DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA UM Student Fellowship at American University (RC) ILLINOIS UM Student Fellowship at Illinois Wesleyan (RC) United Campus Ministry at Northern Illinois (RC) INDIANA Lutheran Campus Ministry at Indiana University (RIC) IOWA Lutheran Campus Ministry at University of Iowa (RIC) MICHIGAN Ecclesia at Michigan State University (O&A) Guild House at University of Michigan (O&A) MINNESOTA Lutheran Campus Ministry in Minneapolis (RIC) Lutheran Campus Ministry at SI. Cloud State (RIC) Student Congregation at SI. Olaf College (RIC) NORTH DAKOTA University Lutheran Center in Fargo (RIC) OREGON Lutheran Campus Ministry in Portland (RIC) PENNSYLVANIA . Lutheran Campus Ministry at Kutztown (RIC) WISCONSIN Lutheran Campus Ministry in LaCrosse (RIC) Metro Milwaukee Campus Ministry (RIC) CANADA/SASKATCHEWAN Saskatoon Lutheran Student Movement (RIC) JUDICATORIES More Light Synods Synod of the Northeast Open and Affirming Conferences Connecticut Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota New Hampshire Northern California/Nevada Ohio Rocky Mountain Southern California Open and Affirming Regions Northern California/Nevada Reconciled in Christ Synods Eastern North Dakota Eastern WaShington-Idaho Greater Milwaukee Metro Chicago Metro Washington, D.C. Pacifica Rocky Mountain Sierra-Pacific Southeast Michigan Reconciling Conferences California-Nevada NewYork Northern Illinois Troy Open Hands 32 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 10 No 3 - Church on a Journey Toward Sexual Inclusivity https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/e216906c16142aecef65f0f5aed78890.pdf eaaceaf61f74fd285c13f94717b8571d Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 10 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1994 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document Copy Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in conjunction with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs-along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs-offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $16 for four issues ($20 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $5. Quantities of 10 or more, $3 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312 / 736-5526 Fax: 312 / 736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1994 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 @ Printed 011 recycled paper. --dJ Resources for Ministries Affirming the Diversity ofHuman Sexuality Fall 1994 THE CAMPUS SCENE Dividing the Waters: Small Steps in a Campus Journey LAURA L EE W ILSON Listen to the story and the poetry of struggle. Creating Opportunity Out of Resistance? B EN W. C URRY Can we turn incidences of resistance into opportunity? Chaplain s Reflect A NONYMOUS WRITERS FROM NACUC A Report of Conversations with Students O DETTE LOCKWOOD-STEWART An informal report on students' comments and reflections about gay/ lesbian experiences on sixty-pIus campuses. A Recent Student Reflects on Inclusivity BARRY HECKARD Seminary: Community or Closet? V IRGINIA WOLF Seminarians' reflections from the third national gay/lesbian seminarians' conference. Challenges Facing Campus Residential Life Counselors G REGORY A NDERSON A young organizer sees both denial and desire to e among RAs. THE CHURCH-CAMPUS CONNECTION The Local Chu rch-Campus Link: Ministry in the O DETTE LOCKWOOD-STEWART, CHAD HE ~ G .:. .J TH A campus minister, a graduate S de t, and a local pastor share their vision of a new campus ministry taking shape at Berkeley. Open Hands 2 6 7 Campus Ministries with Sexual Minorities STRATEGIES AND PROGRAMS Program Coordinators Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Journey of a Campus Minister Who Is Out JAN GRIESINGER Here's a giimpse of the journey of the oniy fuiiy out and long-time campus minister. 16 18 Four Pastoral Ministries BET H ANNON 18 19 Building a Liberating Bible Study Program into your Ministry L INDSAY LOUI SE B IDDLE How are physical self-defense and biblical self-defense related? 20 Handouts for Anti-Homophobia Education Workshops 21 What is homophobia, heterosexism, and heterosexual privilege? BECOMING A WELCOMING CAMPUS MINISTRY MSF at IWU: Becoming Reconciling 22 ANDREW ULMAN Students create a biblically-based justice ministry. Taking your Sensitivity Temperature: Two Checklists 23 24 How Does a Campus Ministry Become Part of the Welcoming MOVEMENT NEWS 29 Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Ann B. Day &......T....~ ..."'..."'."'..,OPEN--Open and Affirming Program !fJ!~!!~ P.O. Box 403 &..........~ ..."'..."'."'.., Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Judy Bond o Reconciled in Christ Program 1722 Hollinwood Drive Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 William Capel 9} .. ,. More Light Churches '::" ~( Network 123R West Church Street Champaign, IL 61820-3510 T 217/355-9825 Publisher Mark Bowman Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Consultants Lindsay Biddle Linda Gesling Jan Griesinger Layout I Graphics I Typesetting In Print -Jan Graves Editorial AdviSOry Committee Peg Beissert, Rolling Hills Est., CA Ann Marie Coleman, Chicago, IL Dan Hooper, Los Angeles, CA Derrick Kikuchi, Daly City, CA Samuel E. Loliger, Buffalo, NY Dick Poole, Oak Forest, IL Caroline Presnell, Evanston, IL Irma C. Romero, Chicago, IL Paul Santillan, Chicago, IL Martha Scott, Chicago, IL Stuart Wright, Chicago, IL Movement? 32 Fall 1994 ONE MORE WORD 26 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 27 SELECTED RESOURCES 28 3 T he paid announcement that ran in the local newspaper was brief and to the point: The newly formed Gay and Lesbian Group ofOswego will meet every Tuesday night at 7:30 P.M. at Tom Philipp's house at 4 West End Avenue. My eyes bulged out of their sockets and my heartbeat increased rapidly! Two weeks earlier I had met with this new group on campus and invited them to use my home, which was also the Protestant Campus Ministry Center, for their meetings. Because they were not yet a duly recognized group by the Stud~nt Association, they did not have access to using campus faBy Thomas ,. Philipp because of your own commitment a truthfulness. Now, in this letter, I see y running away from something, and something is being honest with yo -self and with us. Do you really th this board wouldn't be behind you the way?" The date of that event, very vivid in my memory, was Oct 1970. The group did meet regularly a grew in number to approximately fo members. The group included not 0 cilities. I had expected Inclusive ministry stays on this an article to this effect students from the campus, but als campus minister's agenda! in the school newspaper. I did not expect the announcement in the Oswego Palladium Times, the town's weekly paper. I quickly went to my typewriter to prepare one of those "campus ministry correct" responses which I would submit to the paper as a letter to the editor. The letter stated how our ministry attempted to reach out to all the various groups on campus and how the Center was a meeting place for some very diverse groups (which I then identified). Finishing the letter, I was ready to head down to the newspaper office to deliver it when the president of our board wandered in. I showed him my letter after informing him of the newspaper notice. IIIfyou submit that letter, I will resign from the board," he said. "ls it that poorly written?" I asked. "No," he replied, "but I joined this board because I was impressed with this campus ministry being on the cutting edge of things, and few faculty members, a few non-co _ people, and even a police officer fr the town. The group became a real c munity where personal stories cou shared, where personal joys coul celebrated, and where personal d' pointments and difficulties brough feelings and actions of sensitivity a caring. When I left that campus mi . try pOSition in 1972, it was with ily that I shed my tears, Changing D ynal11" It is now twenty-fo r ministry with gao sa leslJiaIlS on the campus and 0 a the community a a:-e e, 'sts here 0 Long Island, bu he si uation and dynamics of that situation have chan greatly. I sense fou r major differences. More Talk and Openness. The topiC homosexuality is more talked about both the university and the church th it used to be. Discussion of homosex . ality has made its way into classroorr. Open Hands 4 and resident assistant and freshmen orientation programs. Gays and lesbians are now invited to make presentations. At the same time, gay and lesbian support groups within the denominations have formed. Also, many denominations have had task forces to /Istudy the issue." Reams of educational material have been produced. This movement . toward talking about and studying homosexuality has been coupled with less reluctance to form gay and lesbian groups on campus. Some groups even receive funding through student activities funds. These changes do not mean greater understanding in either the university or the church, but they do mean homosexuality is more talked about, and more openly, within these two institutions today than it was thirty years ago. Greater Negativity and Opposition. Because the topic of homosexuality has now come more to the fore, greater negativism and greater displays of opposition have arisen. In the university this has meant various forms of gay bashing. In the church it has meant that denominations now formulate policies placing restrictions on gays and lesbians, policies which didn't exist in the past. As a result, gays and lesbians ordained to positions of leadership within most denominations are more subject to witch hunts carried out by organized conservative factions than was true in the past. In my own Presbyterian denomination, while dialogue with gays and lesbians within our churches is to be encouraged and promoted, no safeguards are provided to make that dialogue in fact possible. MoreDichotomy and Isolation for Students. Many young people are coming to grips with their sexuality at an earlier age. In the last . few years we have seen the development of support groups for gays and lesbians of high school age. This means I am seeing college gays and lesbians who have worked through issues of self-acceptance and self-affirmation before reaching the college campus. Many do not feel the need for a group nor do they take their clues as to what it means to be a gay or lesbian from their peers. This self-reliance and reluctance to be involved in a group, however, leaves a vacuum for those on cam- Fall 1994 pus who are still in the process of comcome advocates for sustaining this right. . ing out or reaching self-acceptance. For We must develop strategies toward that them, feelings ofisolation are even more end immediately. prevalent. Also, because of the negative The chasm between "in a relationship" stance in denominational policies and and "abstinence. " I am concerned that statements, these searching students much that has been written on the sup-. have become even more turned off to port side of gays and lesbians affirms the church and those who serve the one of two life styles: either in a relachurch. tionship with one ·other individual or Tired, Burned-out Clergy. Some (perabstinence. What about the gay or leshaps many) campus ministers feel more bian individual who either has not and more out of sync with where the found that one individual to whom she/ church is on the matter of ministry to he can pledge total commitment? What and with gays and lesbians. Some (perabout those who have no desire to be in haps many) feel worn out and tired of such a relationship? Is there then no outbeing out there on the forefront. Gay ~ let for sexual expression? We and lesbian ministers no doubt share ~. may be in danger of that feeling, yet many feel they \1 presentingthe gay/lesneed to be out there. They feel bian case as the ideal they have no choice and non-promiscuous, tillfeel isolated from their death-do-us-part scecampus ministry col-nario. This would heap even leagues. ~ greater guilt on those not in such a relationship. Let us be The Agenda Ahead Lmore open and realistic about what et me suggest several concerns that ¥ we describe as /I acceptable life I feel need to be on our agenda as styles"-and underpin our realism with campus ministers for the next few years. a theology that offers more than the two Support Networks. At a campus min-options above. istry conference two years ago one of The need to reclaim our role as theolomy colleagues, a Roman Catholic priest, gians within the academic community. put up a sign advertising a workshop There was a time when campus minis-he wished to give. It was titled I/A Min-ters were seen as theologians in resiistry to Gays and Lesbians on Campus." dence on campus. More than worship A few hours after posting it, he changed leaders, counselors, or organizers of the title to /IA Ministry of Gays and Les-events and activities, they were the ones bians on Campus." The workshop was to offer a theological perspective on the dramatically changed in content, for-issues and concerns which emerged mat, and intention. Within that group within the university community. We of gays and straights, many told their need to reclaim that role. One of the personal stories. For some it was the first areas crying out for theological reflectime they had come out to their col-tion is the area of human sexuality-in leagues. They no longer felt alone. A sup-particular, the area of homosexuality. port group was being experienced. How-We need more Gary David Comstocks ever, there was no follow up after that (author of Gay TheologywithoutApolmeeting and no network was estab-ogy) out there on the cutting edge of lished. People went back to their isola-theological reflection. T tion. The need for support networks for Thomas J. Philipp is Pastor ofCommunity gay and lesbian clergy is great. Presbyterian Church in Merrick, New York, The matter of officiating at Holy Executive Minister ofLong Island United Unions. Some campus ministers have felt Campus Ministry (servcomfortable, in certain circumstances, ing the campuses of to officiate at holy unions. Several deNassau and Suffolk nominations now have this issue before County), and Protestant them. There is a strong pOSSibility that Chaplain at Long Island these denominations will attempt to University-Co W.Post deny to ordained clergy the right to so Campus. participate. Campus ministers must be5 A struggle continues between the gay campus community and the administration at the University of Delaware. Responding to a plea for support, recognition, and rights, the President's Commission to Promote Racial and Cultural Diversity established the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Concerns Caucus. The Caucus was to discern, evaluate, and bring to the campus community an awareness of the climate for the gay community. So Much Pain/So Little Understanding Over the past three years many meetings have been held. Many concerns have surfaced. Many requests have been made. Yet an intense amount of homophobic behavior still exists on campus. In 1992 when the Caucus realized that nothing was being done and nothing was being heard, they asked two administrators to attend an open meeting where Caucus members could ask questions. The hope was that an open dialogue would bring results. It was a painful meeting for everyone who attended. I sat in that meeting listening carefully to the verbal language and watching the non-verbal language. As I witnessed the pain and oppression which filled the room, I started jotting down phrases as I saw and heard them. "So Little Listening" emerged. For all who have ears, let them listen! For all who have eyes, let them see! For all who have a feeling heart, let them experience! Many issues of the gay community are still pending: partner benefits, a gay resource center with a full-time professional to staff it, and other benefits which the University provides for heterosexual employees. In an effort to keep the imbalance before the administration, a survey was sent to graduate students, salaried staff, and faculty. It was DIVIDING THE WATERS: Small Steps in a Campus Journey received with various comments, from intense disgust to gratefulness. It ultimately showed an untruth: that the University is a welcoming and safe community for gay culture. Such Small Steps/So Many Cries As the United Methodist campus pastor at the University of Delaware, I find my ministry growing within the gay campus community. The lesbian, gay, and bisexual students, faculty, and staff who search for meaning in their lives are opening themselves to the presence of the church-the same church which oppresses and alienates. Because of their openness to my presence, thoughts, and sharing, each person in her or his own way has retained some hope in the church. Many long to be a part of a spiritual community where they are loved and accepted and affirmed as people of God. They cry in the wilderness for the church to divide the waters that they might reach the promised land. How long will we keep our sisters and brothers on the other side of the waters? God divides the waters with a resounding "YES" in Jesus the Christ. God divides the waters with a resounding "YES" in unconditional love and grace as a gift to us. My hope is that each of us would pass on to all God's people the gifts of unconditional love and grace, not in spite of who they are but because of who they are and whose they are. T Laura Lee Wilson is Campus Pastor and Executive Director of the Wesley Foundation Campus Ministry at the University of Delawa re and is a member of the Reconciling Pastors' Action Network. Open Ha 6 Creating Opportunity Out of Res\stance? By Ben W. Curry Erik, a senior in college, reports in a counseling session that he has established "gaydar," (gay radar) in his life to cope with who he is. He says, "Whom can I trust on this campus? Who will offer me support and assistance rather than resistance?" At Mt. Union College in Alliance, Ohio, the President refused to let the college host an AIDS Conference. He said it was too controversial for their small college. It would "cost" the institution funds from alumni and donors. The President of Rio Grande College in Gallipolis, Ohio, refused to give permission for the formation of a gay, lesbian, bisexual student group. A chaplain at a midwestern university recently reported that her student affairs officer, worried about legal implications, overreacted to her establishment of a university-wide committee to determine policies on same sex unions. It cost her the college chaplaincy. A lesbian faculty member of a southern college reported that she had worked unsuccessfully for years to have her partner included under her health benefits from the institution. The resistance came from administrators worried about escalating costs and the risks of adopting controversial values. A campus minister, struggling to keep a dozen members attending a fellowship group regularly, reported that several conservative and fundamentalist students were outspoken in their unacceptance of gay, lesbian, and bisexual students. One fundamentalist said to the students seeking admittance, "You are condemned. AIDS is your judgment. Either repent or die." Because the conservatives and fundamentalists were the most outspoken members, the campus minister did not respond. He was afraid he might lose all of his attendees if the issue of homosexuality was addressed. You can probably name similar examples of resistance on your campus or on campuses you know. Such examples are symptomatic of the lack of inclusiveness, the difficulty of dealing with diversity, and the tough economic crises Fall 1994 institutions of higher education presently face. Some Understandings of Resistance " I s the problem prejudice?" I asked a faculty member at The American University "No," he said, "I do not believe so. It is the lack of familiarity." Some people want to be supportive, but they do not know how. They do not know what to say or do. Others want to be supportive but draw a line, setting limits. For example, some Christians will accept gays, lesbians, and bisexuals within the church or will not discriminate against them in employment, yet say that they feel uncomfortable with some homosexual acts as less than ideal. Resistance emerges because so much of what we learn about the lesbigay community comes from the wrong sources, such as the propaganda of the religiOUS right, inappropriate jokes, or negative and inaccurate media stereotypes. Because mainstream gays, lesbians, and bisexuals often do not want to be singled out or noticed, the most outspoken persons produce the impressions and actions which the public experiences as "typical." This dearth of knowledge of lesbigay persons is a breeding ground for negative viewpoints. Often the reactions become volatile, emotional, and hurtful rather than rational, sensitive, and caring. Developing Strategies Resistance to the practice of fully welcoming lesbigays exists in many forms on our campuses. Opportunities also abound. You may be able-out of resist~nces you experience on campusto provide opportunities that offer growth. Familiarity. We must read about, listen to, and communicate with lesbigay persons and we must to so with a desire to be inclusive and accepting of their diversity. However, no clear models exist for how to establish familiarity with the gay community. Setting up listening posts, developing table-talk luncheons, and allowing study and discussions on human sexuality are possibilities. Advocacy. Becoming an advocate means speaking on behalf of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals to gain campus services such as an orientation session, a resource center, counseling, or support groups. At The American University our new Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Fellowship within campus ministry, led by a student from Wesley Theological Seminary, resulted from a new resource center being established for lesbians, gays, and bisexuals by the University's Division of Student Life. Worship. Using inclusive prayers, welcoming community within diversity, and developing fresh approaches to timely liturgical issues such as comfort and healing, reconciliation, affirmation, and commitment are key ingredients to an inclusive liturgical life. 1 In a recent worship service, we sang "Walls that Divide." One verse gives us hope and challenges us to bring opportunity: The church divided seeks that grace, . that newness we proclaim, A unity ofserving love that lives praise to God's name. Walls that divide are broken down, Christ is our unity! Chains that enslave are thrown aside, Christ is our libertyJ2 • Notes I Celebrating the Inclusive God, Open Hands (Winter 1994) offers articles and liturgies. 2 Walter Farquharson, "Walls That Divide," Everflowing Streams: Songs for Worship. Ruth C. Duck and Michael G. Bausch, eds. New York: The Pilgrim Press, 1989, p. 59, v. 4. Ben W Curry is University Chaplain at The American University in Washington, DC where the United Methodist Student Fellowship, after a year's study, became a Reconciling Student Ministry in thespring, 1994. He also serves as the Director of Kay Spiritual Life Center. 7 r :~~~--~~~~==~~~~---------------------------------------------------WITH THE HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT By David M. Hindman The books were not all on the shelf; the pictures not yet hung. I had been on the job two weeks when I had my first counseling session as the United Methodist campus minister at The College of William and Mary. As he began to talk, I realized this student was struggling to accept his recently discovered sexual identity. He sought me out partly because of the internal conflict he was experiencing: he had always heard negative assessments from others about homosexuals, yet he was experiencing joy and fulfillment in a relationship with a young man. He felt his newfound integrity was a gift of God, but wondered how that could be possible if God abhorred homosexuals? Last, but not least, he did not know how to share with his parents what he was learning about himself. "I made a concentrated effort to discern, with the help of the Holy Spirit, how to respond to the needs of this person in this circumstance. " What followed was a time of prayer and careful listening to his personal and faith journeys. I made a concentrated effort to discern, with the help of the Holy Spirit, how to respond to the needs of this person in this circumstance. I engaged him in conversation about alternative understandings of scripture and God's desires for human beings. I offered him a phone number of another United Methodist pastor (in his parents' home town) who was willing to serve as a resource person, pastor, facilitator, and mediator whenever he decided come out to them. To be supportive of lesbigay persons evokes a range of responses. Peopleboth straight and lesbigay-may feel grateful, relieved, suspicious, critical, hostile, or incredulous that an ordained, committed member of the Christian community might have such an attitude 8 and approach as I had with that young man. Believers and non-believers alike may affirm or doubt the validity of the pastor's faith experience. In such a situation, campus ministers need the sustenance, encouragement, and strength that result from a vital prayer life. Supportive ministry also requires careful listening to the stories of lesbigay persons as they tell their tales of confusion, pain, joy, hope, longing, fear, love, injury, and holiness. The attentive presence of a campus minister can affirm them and communicate the validity and value of their experiences. However, such listening is not amoral or indifferent to how persons live out their lives. At its best it strives to conform to the spirit and will of Christ. Our listening at times may comfort and affirm. At other times it may involve appropriate confrontation of actions or attitudes which are hurtful, promiscuous, exploitative, or destructive of self or others. Openness to the guidance of the Spirit may also affect how one affirms the homosexual orientation of one person as a good gift of God and offers assistanceto another who is conflicted and truly wishes to be heterosexual in practice (even if his or her orientation is bisexual). The pastoral goal is not meeting the political agenda of any group on the right or left of the theologica spectrum. It is providing ministry tha enables persons to experience the abundant life promised by Christ. The story of my first counseling session at William and Mary is but one ste in a long journey of personal discove and ministry which along the way r.included thanksgiving, confusion, bies ing, failure of nerve and ability, grol, -. and change. Not every story has ha happy ending. Yet through it all, . and then ministry has occurred, ments of insight and transforma have been celebrated, and grace been experienced. May others rece the same gifts. T David M. Hindman is an ordained 1 ber ofthe Virginia Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church and Director ofthe Wesley Foundation at The College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. OpenH dents to describe their experiences, pe'rceptions, and questions regarding the topic, because their experience of the church is one dimension of the church's reality. In these workshops and at three other student settings, I listened to students from about sixty campuses, from all theological and political perspectives, from all orientations, and from all regions of the United States. Their statements were illuminating. Student Reflections MOSt students felt the church is "on the fence" or "trying to be everything without being anything" or "abandoning moralleadership./1 Many had questions for the church: "If I can be baptized, why not ordained?" "Why is sexual orientation such a big deal to the church?" "What does the Bible say about human sexuality? About judgment? About the nature of sin? About who can give leadership to the church?" Students talked about their experiences. They told about mainline churchrelated colleges that are not allowing gay, or who advocated for the rights of lesbigay students, expressed again and again their deep sense of isolation. They told stories of parents being "outed" by the church, of their own struggles with the biblical material as interpreted to them, and of personal experience and reason conflicting with teachings of the church. Students described the frustration of feeling judged by political allies because they were Christian, and judged by the church because they were lesbigay. Students who believe homosexuality is a sin felt challenged by friends who are lesbigay, angry at the church for not following the scripture, and judged by those who label them "fundamentalists." Students talked of increased violence and hate language; Even students at "progressive" state universities felt assaulted daily in a variety of ways. They felt demoralized and frustrated by the visible limitations and fragility of tolerance and of student coalitions. They were frustrated by the atmosphere of homophobia which they felt is shaped by the religious right and fostered by the silence of the majority of Christians. Fall 1994 ahead. Still, students' stories carried hope, even in the midst of the wilderness. Their hope came from their own commitments to engage with those who differed from them. General Learnings From these conversations with students, I have drawn five general learnings: • The networks of spiritual and social support for lesbigay students and friends include informal networks of friends and organized alliances on campus and in the community. • Campus ministries, local churches, home churches, and individual chaplains are resources for some students, but. certainly not for the majority. • On some campuses, the religious community and campus ministries are dominated or intimidated by antilesbigay communities. • On other campuses, the religious communities have not made ministry with lesbigay students a priority, but rather have addressed the "issue" of homosexuality. • Lesbigay students on state or secular campuses-even those with overtly homophobic practices and policiesfelt surer of their civil rights than did students on church-affiliated campuses. • Students of all perspectives felt campus ministries needed to advocate for basic human rights. • Campus ministries which publicly state that they are welcoming and inclusive Signal God's grace. T Odette Lockwood-Stewart is the United Methodist Campus Minister and Director of the Wesley Foundation at the University ofCalifornia at Berkeley. 9 What is it like to be a sexual minority and a seminarian? For those of us at the third national conference for gay seminarians in 1993, it is mostly very good. For many of us, seminary provides community. At seminary we find and affirm ourselvessometimes for the first time-as lesbian, gay male, bisexual, or transgendered.* people. Several of us "came out at semInary." Many of us have experienced at seminary the healing and joy of being who we are. At the other extreme, for a few of us, seminary is simply the darkest of closets. In such a place we struggle to find a way to hang on to a faith which both nourishes and diminishes us. The extent to which seminarians experience community or closet depends on the denomination, the seminary, and the seminarian. Three denominations consider themselves fully welcoming: Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), Unitarian Universalist (UU), and United Church of Christ (UCC). Over two thirds of those attending the conference were MCC, UU, or UCc. Ordination as an out sexual minority is possible in each denomination, although finding a church to serve can be a problem for both UU and UCC lesbigay graduates, since in both denominations the individual congregation calls its own minister. Despite the national associations' creation of nondiscrimination policies and educational programs for congregations, those of us graduating know that heterosexism and homophobia will make it very difficult for some congregations to call us. The current UU shift in emphasis to racism also makes some seminarians worry that the denomination is ranking racism above heterosexism, perhaps because of continued discomfort with sexual differences and lack of understanding of the "results of the closet." Seminaries affiliated with all the other denominations are welcoming in varying degrees, except for those affiliated with denominations whose faith depends on a literal reading of the Bible. By Virginia Wolf Only two seminarians at last year's conference were from such conservative denominations. They requested that their attendance be kept confidential and never publicly identified themselves as lesbigay. Staying in their denomination means being in the closet most of the time. CLOSET: A hiding place in which to avoid being condemned and rejected as an abomination. The extent to which sexual minorities are closeted in the classroom depends on the course and the seminary. At one end of the spectrum, at Meadville/ Lombard (Chicago) and Starr King (Berkeley), students are out in all their classes. At other liberal seminaries students of many denominations are out in many classes. In some classes students "find no reason to be out because their sexuality is not an issue." At the other end of the spectrum, seminaries-even with a lesbigay affirming denominational affiliation-attract numbers of students and faculty from very conservative denominations, making it uncomfortable for lesbigay students to be out in the classroom. COMMUNITY: A group ofpeople who unconditionally accept one another, seeking justice for both the one and the many. United Theological Seminary (UTS) is a good environment for an out lesbian like me. There is a large lesbigay presence at UTS, including faculty and staff. There are courses specifically appealing to us-Gay Theology and Sexuality and Spirituality, for example-and specific attention in other courses, such as Ethics and Women's Studies. Unforor CLOSET? tunately, in many courses we, like les gay seminarians elsewhere, still have 0 bring up sexual minorities if we \\'a the discussion to include them, bu have found my doing so welcomed. Mariposa Alliance, a student group, 0 fers opportunities to talk about our e periences and to negotiate with ~ school when we feel our needs are no being met. With the full support of C we hosted the third conference of seminarians. Sometimes students at UTS are polite, not supportive. Although no s' dent has ever been deliberately rude hateful to me, I had some tense rr. ments when I began at UTS-to soly. extent because of the way I responde to other students' apparent discomfo We who are sexual minorities ofte learn to protect ourselves by being d fensive and by expecting rejection. .' sometimes react aggressively to the pa of what feels like, and may be, yet 0 more misunderstanding of who we a e. We also sometimes go quietly back in 0 our closets to heal. Although either T - sponse is understandable and undou 'edly necessary at the time, neither : sponse allows us, or those who dif e from us, to grow. As I increasingly fee at home at UTS, I relax and welcof!1 my own and others' discomfort as opportunity for respectful dialogue a an increasing wholeness in our comm-nity . ... *Editor's Note Because language is still emerging to scribe transgender (transgendered, tra. sexual) people, each writer's version tbeen allowed to stand as originally " ....Tit t:' two children to adulthood. She is an author and, since January of 1993, a part-time student at United Theological Seminary in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. Vir ginia Wolt Ph.D., is ProfessorofEngf·-J at the University of Wisconsin-Stout. 5 1 began coming out thirty years ago. She (1'1 her partner of nineteen years have rear, Open Hands 10 .., "----c...HJ..l.-l.-E.NGtE.S F J..c....'NGt c...Jt."'"PUS R 'E-S 'PE-N"",Jt.l.L'FE- c...OUNSE-l.-ORS ~ ---) 5.'( G.RE.G.OR,( ~NPE.RSON As Youth and Young Adult Outreach Coordinator of the United Church Coalition of Lesbigay and Gay Concerns, I visited and spoke with Residential Life Counselors and staff persons from several VCC campuses and my own alma mater this past year. These interactions taught me many of the challenges facing Residential Assistants (RAs). Homophobia on their campuses and in their residence halls is one challenge. Some student RAs at a midwestern liberal arts college were not convinced that homophobia needed to be addressed in their residence halls. The only crisis they could recall occurred when the campus lesbian, gay, and bisexual student group posted signs inviting campus "queers" to their next meeting. Many students objected to the use of the word "queer." Some felt using the word legitimized homophobia. Others argued the signs were reclaiming a negative word as a positive symbol of pride. Many, however, felt it was simply an attempt to stir up trouble. At an RA training at a northeastern campus, two RAs expressed concern that chalking lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender affirming messages on sidewalks on National Coming Out Day last year was unnecessary. Staff at another midwestern college feared parental retribution for the campus group's support of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender* youth from the surrounding community. Their group was the only identifiable support in the area. To me, the fact that such fears are raised betrays the homophobia present at these schools-and the need to address it. Fall 1994 The invisibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth is another challenge facing RAs who often receive little sympathy for trying to address it. Remaining invisible is a hard daily reality for queer students. Some risk loss of family support for their education if they come out. Others risk rejection from friends. Many face hazing or harassment in their residence halls. An unsafe abode is no haven from scholastic pressures. RAs must challenge homophobia and invisibility issues because many students suffer under such pressures. RAs must face disapproving peers who will not appreciate their support of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students. If RAs respect confidentiality, are approachable, and offer visible support, they will find themselves offering support and guidance to students who come to them with stories of rejection from families, classrooms, professors, peers, or religious institutions. Fears that addressing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans gender issues openly on campus might fuel homophobic backlash must be addressed. Homophobia unchallenged contributes to broken families, ruined friendships, violence, suicide, undeveloped creative potential, sexism, and countless other tragedies. Addressing lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans gender issues may in the short term unleash the fears and insecurities of people suffering from homophobia, but it is the only option. Decades of silence have failed. Ifwe create campuses which encourage people to be open and honest about their lives and loving, we stand in the long term to gain from unleashed creativity, sensitivity, and understanding. Isn't that what higher education strives to achieve? I am encouraged by one of the ch allenges I heard voiced many times at every campus I visited last year. The RAs were frustrated because they wanted to help (but did not know how to help) the often invisible sexual minority students. I am sure if they tackle this roadblock with enough creativity they will have many, many visibly thankful students and friends. T *Editor's Note Because language is still emerging to describe transgender (transgendered, transsexual) people, each writer's version has been allowed to stand as originally written. Gregory Anderson resigned in August from the UCCL/GC as Youth and Young Adult Outreach Coordinator to join Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts as HIV Infection Prevention Project Coordinator. He is a recent graduate of Clark University with Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Music. 11 CAMPUS MINISTRY IN CRISIS By cornelius a. kanhai Campus ministry ought to be on the endangered list, if it is not already there. Decreasing financial commitment from the denominations resulting in staff and program reduction and loss of morale is threatening the very existence of campus ministry, at least in any of the forms in which we currently know it. Apart from the possibility of the rise in the denominations of inspired leadership with a new vision, the prospect of continued shrinking of campus ministry to little or no presence seems inevitable. "In my twenty years in Madison, the church has eliminated three generations of campus ministers," says Vern Visick of Madison Campus Ministry. "That has happened as a result of staff reduction due to shrinking financial support and the resulting over extension of remaining staff as well as the resulting lack of security for those who would respond to a call to campus ministry." ~ Financial Crunch , , F inancial crunch" is an expression used to explain many aspects of life in our SOciety today. Local churches find that their incomes remain approximately level while their costs increase every year. In the United Methodist system, for example, the inabili.ty of local churches to meet their budgets often means decreased ability to pay conference apportionments (financial assessments), some of which are redistributed to campus ministries. Annual conferences have been restraining the growth of their budgets and thus the growth of apportionments. This, in turn, results in fewer dollars to meet ever increasing challenges on the campus. Campus ministry, often near the bottom of the list of priorities, has fewer advocates on the floor of annual conference sessions and therefore finds itself needing to trim program to fit shrinking financial support. Four basic models exist for funding campus ministries in mainline denominations. The first model is the chaplaincy. Most church-related colleges have a chaplaincy which is funded directly out of the college budget, although the college may receive funding from judicatories or local churches which is deSignated for the chaplaincy program. The second model, the Foundation model, is used in public institutions and the pattern is different. Not until the first part of this century did the church even recognize the need to be in ministry on the campus of "godless" state institutions. Good Christians went to church related colleges. In United Methodism, for example, the Wesley Foundation started in the first part of the twentieth century and flourished in the post World War II era. The campus ministry foundation became an instrument through which denominational judicatories could raise money to fund campus ministry. A third model for funding campus ministry is a local church, or a partnership of churches, in a campus town. In this model, the primary funding comes at the local church level rather than through the college or from the denominational budget. The fourth model is funding by a conference or other regional judicator:' structure such as the Presbyterian Synod. This funding is usually solicited and received through an ecumenica' partnership such as United Ministries' Higher Education. A fifth model also exists, usually . non-denominational ministries such a Campus Crusade for Christ and InteVarsity. Their campus ministers (usuall. lay persons) raise their own fundi. from friends and relatives, loc churches, church organizations, a other community organizations. The crisis in campus ministry is . directly caused by the dwindling financial support of campus minis r through these different models, but 11 dwindling support does contribute the crisis. Such reduced support is symptom of other social factors whic are causing the crisis. Conflict ofRoles One of the social factors which is d'rectly causing the crisis of camp Open Han 12 ministry is a difference in the definition of campus ministry between local churches and their clergy on the one hand and campus ministries and their ministers on the other hand. Local churches often see campus ministry as an extension of their own ministry, a place for Johnny orJane to go to church while they are at college. But Johnny or Jane may have stopped attending church services before they left home or may decide to take a break from church when they break away from home. IfJohnny or Jane do not show up at worship at campus ministry, or have stopped going to church altogether, then campus ministry is not doing its job for the local church, at least in the eyes of local church clergy. Campus ministries and campus ministers, on the other hand, often see their role quite differently. They observe that a place for Johnny orJane to go to church while away from home may not be the most critical need. As a matter of fact, Johnny or Jane may have been turned off church for years, and the last thing in the world they want is a church like the one back home. This is true, for example, at University Church in Madison, where a large percentage of our students have been turned off by the church and are now feeling their way back in. Johnny and Jane's intellectual struggles with faith, or their need for more open attitudes on social questions may not be met in the traditional church setting. Many people nostalgically refer to the post World War II period and the large number of students who were involved in campus ministries. That era was also marked by higher church attendance numbers, and larger Sunday church school rolls. Today, campus ministries serve fewer and fewer students. The tendency of the church to evaluate the effectiveness of, and need for, campus ministry by counting the number of students in groups and activities overlooks an important fact: The disappearance of the youngest generation in campus ministry was evident in the local church before it was manifested in campus ministry. Campus ministry is often seen by the folk back home as being too radical, too political, and not productive. Issues such Fall 1994 as war and peace, civil rights, racism, gay rights, and reproductive rights for women are much more likely to be dealt with openly in a campus ministry than in the local church. In this way, campus ministry has served the church over the years by giving leadership in opening these issues for discussion, developing resources for dealing with them, and training young adults to continue their engagement and discussion when they are no longer in college. However, local churches and clergy have often seen this greater openness as contrary to the interests of the local church. This, in turn, often results in diminished support. Campus ministry is in crisis because the society is in crisis. The traditional purposes for which campus ministry existed-a home away from home, an institute for religion and a place to recruit and train lay and clergy leadership for the church-have shifted because society has shifted and the campus has shifted. Campus ministry now is often defined by those involved as being a witness to the whole campus and university, rather than being just a chaplaincy for Christian students, although that remains a very important function. Off-Campus Influences In addition, trends and events completely outside the realm of campus ministry have also helped create the crisis in campus ministry. The recent controversy over the liRe-Imagining Conference" has rippled through both the Presbyterian and United Methodist denominations, resulting in diminished revenues, among other things. The ELCA Lutheran denomination has been experiencing a similar kind of fallout around its Human Sexuality study. Future Needs and Predictions Despite the internal funding problems, the conflict in roles, and the impact of off-campus negative influences, campus ministries are still alive and viable. liThe university is a fact, and it is not going away," says Vern Visick. IIIt is one of the most critical places in our society. The church needs to be there, just as the church needs to be in factories and fields. IfJohn Wesley were alive today we'd have more ministries to universities and prisons." In Wisconsin (as I am sure is true in other states) almost everyone in the state has some relationship to the University of Wisconsin. Many of our teachers and other professionals have been trained there. Much of the leadership in business and the community has been influenced by the university in one way or another. Much of the research in agriculture, physical sciences, and other disciplines impact our lives every day. The university is one of the fundamental institutions of our society. In the face of that kind of reality, campus ministry is deserving of greater, not less, support. The church has given very little thought about how it needs to affect the university. Campus ministry is strategically positioned on the frontier of the IIbrave new world" or whatever the future holds on the university campus. It is most certainly not as effective as it needs to be, but it is there. It is the church present on campus, in the midst of the IIgodless" university. However, if the church continues to give low priority to campus ministries, in forty to fifty years there will be little or no campus ministry left (some think that is a very generous estimate). Caught between dwindling resources and an ever increasing challenge, those of us in campus ministry must struggle with the short-run realities while planning for the long-run visions. We need to keep our focus on what is happening, where the people are who need to be served, and what their needs really are. The crisis in campus ministry is a part of the crisis in the church and in our society. For the time being we are here-and glad to be here . .. corneliusa. kanhai is Senior Pastor ofUniversity United Methodist Church in Madison and ExecutiveDirector ofthe Foundation at the University of Wisconsin/ Madison. University , Church was the first Methodist ministry to a state university in Wisconsin and is a Reconciling Congregation. 13 A Student Speaks I came out as a queer person while an undergraduate at a state uniyersity in the South. I was fortunate to have the support of several gay men at my local church, but the general ministry of the church did not nurture my early adult self-exploration. My coming out process was fraught with all the questions and issues of a young adult coming to terms with his place in the world-spiritually, intellectually, socially. I flirted with various self-identities throughout my undergraduate experience. Neither my church nor the campus ministry ever engaged in public conversation about sexuality and spirituality. I often felt uncomfortable being myself, both at church and at the student center. Although I found abundant grace and witness through a select group of friends inside and outside the church, I carried with me the aching desire to see a more intentionally inclusive, church-based ministry to lesbigay students. One year after moving to Berkeley for graduate school, I found a church home in a Reconciling Congregation. In this church I feel enabled to heed my own ministerial call to help bring healing to other lesbigay people. However the queer community in Berkeley is largely cynical and resentful of the church. Although I suspect, even hope that other students like me thirst for ful inclusion in the family of faith, finding such students is proving to be more difficult than I expected. I become frustrated trying to bring the message of wholeness and grace to this often pained or apathetic mass of my peers. Thankfully, I can turn to the witness and support of my church home. The love and concern of the clergy and laity alike encourage and enable our ministry through prayer, program support, and Open Hands 14 ~ By Chad Heilig a real commitment to the meaning and value of reconciliation. We have even seen signs of success in reaching out to the campus community. Our initial offering was a seminar led by ethicist and author James Nelson. The persons reached by his witness seemed eager to continue the conversation about jointly embodying their faith and their sexuality. The success of that event feeds our hope of creating more outreach. We are developing small groups specifically for lesbigay people, dedicated to honest reflection and growth within our personal and collective experiences. We also are beginning to network with several ministries close to campus that have made public statements of reconciliation with lesbigay people. We hope to strengthen the individual proclamation of each community by combining our voices into one proud message: lesbigay or not, you can find a welcoming family of faith in this college town. On World AIDS Day in December, we plan to hold an interfaith wholeness service on campus, with the presence of as many local ministries as wish to participate. We hope our initial attempts will form a nucleus for ongoing and expanding ministry of reconciliation for all students. My hope is that we can create a safe and nurturing place for some questioning student to be able integrate sexuality and spirituality-the kind of place I wanted as an undergraduate. ~ Chad Heilig (in center in photo) is a doctoral student in statistics at the University ofCalifornia at Berkeley. He currently chairs the Reconciling Congregation Committee at Trinity United Methodist Church in Berkeley. Fall 1994 15 JtJar",e, tJf..C..mpa. Ml",l.ter WfI,tJ I. Oat By Jan Griesinger I came out to my board and the campus community in 1977, one year after I had been called to United Campus Ministry (UCM) at Ohio University. Ithardly felt like a choice-more like a spirit-push to care for my own body, mind, and soul. Board and Denominational Responses Several members did make their objections known following the board meeting. One was a retired military chaplain who, along with a local pastor, contacted the regional Disciples of Christ office and asked them to pull their funding. Disciples officials came to Athens for a dialogue with us but did not stop funding the statewide ecumenical consortium that provides about 3S percent of our budget. A few months later at our annual board retreat we asked lesbian and gay faculty and students to join us for conversation. They shared their stories with our board in small groups. It was a very powerful event and a definite first for most of our board members. Since then, our campus ministry board has provided strong affirmation not only for me personally but also for our outreach program to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual * people on campus and throughout our rural area. Responses from other denominations who were supporting our ministry were varied. United Church of Christ area staff members were supportive but uncomfortable-I was their first out clergy person. By the early 1980s the United Methodist District Committee on Higher Education and Campus Ministry became a battleground. Over the next ten years they often recommended that our funding be reduced or cut off altogether. Several small reductions did happen, but generally the West Ohio Board of Higher Education and Campus Ministry either affirmed our work or declined to single us out from all the other ministries for a cut. In 1994 we finally got an increase and a letter of affirmation from the District Committee. Change does happen! In the mid-1980s an American Baptist pastor recently out of seminary heard there was an open lesbian campus minister and decided to build his career on attacking us. He was able to get the statewide campus ministry committee to send a letter to the ecumenical consortium mandating that Baptist funds not cOJIle to UCM. The consortium (then called the Ohio Board for United Ministries in Higher Education) followed the letter of the mandate but none of our funds were cut due to their strong support of our work. They too had come to visit us and had dialogued with openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual people involved in our ministry. In reality, little of this harassment affected our day-to-day ministries and strategies. Though some board members were not fully committed when they began serving their terms, their contact with students we serve and other supportive board members (gay and straight) usually converted or at least neutralized them. Straight staff members were extremely helpful in handling our critics in local churches. For every person who withdrew a personal contribution, several more stepped forward to honor our out-front witness. Support for UCM from gay and lesbian faculty, staff, alums, and friends continues to be significant. High Spots and Low Spots Over these seventeen years my morale hit a few low spots, but strong support from the board, friends, and colleagues in the United Church Coalition Open Hands 16 for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, and Christian Lesbians Out Together (CLOUT), as well as my own sense of lesbian pride and God's call to this ministry, keeps me coming back with renewed energy. Because I have been out, I have see~ incredible faith and courage as I walk ,ith gay and lesbian students whose parents opened their mail or told them not to come home or forced them to go o a therapist; with a gay student filing sexual harassment complaint against his married male professor; and with faculty and staff and students struggling ,ith whether and how to come out. I also have seen incredible faith and courage as I walk with lesbian mothers in child custody battles and rural moms on welfare dealing with harassment from neighbors and alcoholic lovers; \\ith gay married men working factory jobs wrestling with what integrity and honesty mean; and closeted area clergy whose spirits cry for an answer to their suffocation of soul. Dealing with local churches and clergy has ranged from impossible to friendly. I have not been invited to preach on a Sunday morning or teach a church school class except at a few VCC churches. At ministers' meetings and committees for annual ecumenical services, Catholic priests, Jewish rabbis, and the gamut of Protestant clergy have had to deal with me regularly as a colleague, some of them for twelve years or more. I seldom know how they really feel, though they have let me know they feel anxious about my being in their pulpit at the annual three-hour Good Friday Service. They tell me that other clergy won't join the Campus Ministry Association because I am a member. I have, however, had strong affirmation from most of my campus ministry colleagues across Ohio and nationally. I love my work in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual communities as well as the other work I do in counseling, performing weddings, working on racism and sexism, supervising student interns, and organizing service projects. Each young gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transsexual person has to make the decision anew about what will happen if they claim their right to love. Here is where a campus minister's presence is crucial. The more we follow Jesus' call Fall 1994 to be with lithe least of these," the more we will be privileged to share the lives and walk the walk with people who live daily with the oppression of heterosexism.T *Editor's Note Because language is still emerging to describe transgender (transgendered, transsexual) people, each writer's version has been allowed to stand as originally written. Ian Griesinger, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, has served as Director of United Campus Ministry at Ohio University in Athens since 1976. She has also served as national coordinator for the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns since 1984 . 17 By Mary Council-Austin "Rev. Austin, all I want is to be left alone to finish my studies. I do not bother anyone. Why would they say such awful things about me? I cannot live this way any more. " I rarely am reduced to trembling bones and streams of tears, but the sight ofJonathan (not his real name) sitting in the middle of his belongings weeping and screaming was more than I could handle. No quotation of the church's position on homosexuality seemed appropriate. What Jonathan needed was a place to live, someone he could cry with, and a place to shelter his shattered hopes and dreams. He needed a place where his fragile trust could be restored and where he could be touched again by the deep and abiding faith that had sustained him through previous storms. As we sat talking until dawn, I realized that Jonathan was one of the fortunate few. He knew ofour ministry, liThe Circle of Friends," a bi-monthly coffeehouse style ministry which seeks to provide a visible sign of God's love and care for gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons in the campus community of Howard University. In recent Circle gatherings, Jonathan had shared concerns about increased hostility directed toward him in his off-campus residence. There were daily cruel accusations and slurs about his sexual orientation by young men in the neighborhood. Though unfounded, there were stories of sexual activities 18 being carried on in the residence which the landlord deemed totally inappropriate. Without attempting to get at the truth, the landlord tossed Jonathan out. All of my spiritual and professional resources are challenged in the face of students who feel betrayed and abandoned by a long trusted religious community. The profound search for community amid deep and hurtful divisions takes on a new urgency with realities such as jonathan's. Suddenly warnings from others to avoid offering ministries for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students pale into insignificance. What am I to do as students specifically ask: IIAre the loving arms of the church open to the marginalized"? It is clear: my call is to participate in making manifest the gospel example of mutual love and commitment to one another's well-being. I am glad that liThe Circle of Friends" came into being in time for Jonathan. I am glad he had the Circle where his story could be shared and held as a sacred gift. The Circle is where we break bread and dine at the Lord's table. It is a place where prayers spoken and unspoken are uttered. It is where personhood and self worth are affirmed and where one's sexuality is a gift from God to be celebrated. ~ Mary Council-Austin, a United Methodist clergy member of the Wisconsin Conference, was Director ofthe Wesley Foundation at Howard University, Washington, DC until this past summer when it was closed down. She is currently assisting the Dean ofChapel at Howard in Program and Outreach Ministries. She served as Associate General Secretary, Constituency Education, General Board of Church and Society, UMe. Open Hands Advocating Responsible Sex and Responsible Sex Education n interesting cartoon recently crossed my desk. College students attending a conference on sexuality all have paper bags over their ds. As one student shakes hands with other, the caption reads, IIGidday and . do you feel about sex before mare?" My goal in facilitating respon.. Ie sex education programs in campus nistry is to create an atmosphere in -nich students are invited to take off paper bags of embarrassment, fear, ° norance, or shame and explore the complex issues surrounding sexuality. curate biological and psychological °nformation combined with theologiethical reflection and social/cultural cntique equip students to make wise, safe, and informed choices for themseh"es. Through dialogue with students, I have learned to include three specific areas for discussion in workshops. 1. Affirm we are sexual beings at all times. eing sexual is not defined solely as engaging in genital activity. Ac"nowledging our sexual beingness means celebrating that we each live in a body through which we experience the "';orId and express our selves. Our male/ .emale body experiences can be quite distinct from one another and very diferent even among those of the same ender. Responsible sex education affirms the importance of learning as much as one can about one's own body o be able to identify healthiness and disease, likes and dislikes, pleasure and pain, and feelings of attraction, affection, or arousal. It also affirms learning about others' body experiences. Being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight have both similarities and differences. Differently-abled students and students from abusive families will also have a distinct set of body experiences and issues. I encourage students to be curious, ask questions, and discuss among their peers. Our sexual beingness incorporates all Fall 1994 By Maggie Covenant McNaught these body experiences as well as what we think, process, feel, and dream. 2. Proclaim our bodies are affirmed by God Sexuality, or the experience of our bodies through our gender and orientation, cannot be separated fromsoiri tuality. It is a precious Nowhere is this more 3. Embrace an ethic of love in decision-making Responsible sex begins with cultivating the deepest form of love for one's embodied self and the embodied self of another as God has for us. Students generally have many questions and a lot to say about love: how one knows you're in love; what love really means between two people; how to make decisions out of love; if and when to engage or abstain from genital activity; negotiating boundaries around physical touch; when to make a commitment-all important aspects to name in a discussion about love. Love, in a Christian understanding, does not mean a sentimental, gushy feeling but establishing "right relationship" between two beings in non-oppressive, non-abusive ways. Love as "right relationship" involves honesty, trust, respect, intimacy, familiarity, and openness. Love means learning to honor each other's bodies, sense of self, and boundaries without pressure to change or conform. It is not love if a partner's "No" cannot be heard and honored. It is not love if, befo~@,sexual intercourse, one is not for,tht!flfif},lf'iabDut a sexually trans- iU1.)\..U.).)lVll ofvalues, and concerns negotiating a sexual'~e:-xperience. It means knowing yourself well enough to express your fears, feelings, thoughts, and desires to your partner and being comfortable enough with your sexuality to disagree when something is not right for you. Responsible sex means deciding with your partner what the boundaries will be and taking appropriate precautions that insure safer sex. And finally, responsible sex means accepting that each one of us is responsible for the gift of our sexuality and what we choose to do with it. May our choices be well-informed, creative, and loving ones that bring us joyous life! ... Maggie Covenant McNaught is Director and Campus Minister of the Cal Aggie Christian Association, an ecumenical ministry at the University of California-Davis. She is also a Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor intern working on licensure. 19 Building a Liberating Bible Study Program into your Ministry By Lindsay Louise Biddle The use of scripture is alive and well on university and college campuses. Unfortunately, so is the abuse of sCripture. Attend any public event concerning lesbigay issues and you will likely hear someone quote the Bible to condemn homosexuality. For example, at a self-defense workshop held at the University of Minnesota in response to the increase in hate crimes against lesbigay people, the instructor cited a public utilities company that would not allow its community center to be used for a program on homophobia. When asked why not, the company spokesperson quoted biblical passages to defend the decision. Need for Biblical Defense As a Christian, I feel angry about such discrimination, embarrassed at the blatant misapplication of scripture, and frustrated that God's Word appears to be used to promote hatred. As a campus minister called to work with traditionally-excluded and under-represented students, I decided to offer a "Biblical Self-Defense Course on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns." The course focuses on the Bible passages most commonly used to condemn homosexuality; outlines their historical, literary, and cultural contexts; and presents several liberation theology interpretations. This is not a traditional Bible study, but an opportunity for folkswhatever their religion, sexual orientation, or level of biblical literacy-to, '#7understand better the Bible passages di-; rected against lesbigay people. For many participants, these texts are a source of personal and spiritual pain. One lesbian spoke of her former pastor who said she would burn in hell. A mother of a gay son said she willk(not join a church that doesn't accept hom6sexuals, and she has yet to find such an inclusive community. Still another person said he never thought he meet anyone who believed the wasn't against homosexuality' Often folks try to deal wit painful scriptural issues in therapy even though few therapists are theologically trained to assist them. Yet since IIcoming out" as a sexual person entails" coming out" as a spiritual person, religious baggage cannot be ignored. The church has a responsibility to nurture folks in their development as whole human beings, holy creatures of God. A Look at the Course The "Biblical Self-Defense Course" begins with the Genesis account of Sodom and Gomorrah and continues with the Leviticus Holiness Code and the first chapter of Romans. Mter comparing several English versions of each , passage, we study the word variances in English and Hebrew and/or Greek. Then we explore the contexts of each passage, their original intents (to the best of our knowledge), and the history of their interpretations, including liberation theology. We also trace the history of the word IIsodomite" in the English versions of the Old and New Testaments. "Peace has come to my soul, a rare gift. " From a participant Physical self-defense is not so much a matter of the size or weight of one's body but what one does with it. Learning what to do does not from ever being attacked, enable one to develop 'r.-%·_:..rA('1?t,!,k' , and George A<\{tlStlll1llton University. might not say. re 0 t, available to scripture is not the issue; i merely present "Biblical Selfbeing used-abused-to defend ("proof-Defense." Contact her at 612/724-5429. Open Hands text") an already-made position. Rather I encourage everyone who studies scripture to do three things: 1. To read and listen to various interpretations critically. What is being said? Do you agree or disagree with the content? Does it come across as loving or condemning? Are there mixed messages? 2. To study in a safe and nurturing environment. Do you feel okay asking questions or raising doubts? Are you IIgiven" an answer or are you asked to consider a variety of answers and/or new questions? Do some subjects feel taboo or is everything above board? 3. To develop confidence in one's own understandings, and to respect the confidentiality of other people's understandings. Biblical information learned in class is public. Personal stories of class members are theirs alone to tell. After participating in the class, people say they feel better about themselves. Some plan to use new understandings to make their communities of faith more welcoming of lesbigay people. Others want to share understandings with their family members or co-workers who are homosexual. Some hope their new grasp of scripture enables them to come out to their families and thout fear of religious conOthers are grateful for the unity to connect their faith with "rest of their lives. As we go about our inclusive ministries on campus, let , us continue to offer this gift of peace' and may it not be so rare. T Lindsay Louise Biddle, pastor ofa Presbyterian congregation in st. Paul, Minnesota has served as campus minister at the Uniof Minnesota, University of 20 ~hatlsHo~ophobiaand Heterosexis~?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Homophobia is a Double Standard for Relationships Homophobia is not asking about your child's, sibling's, or friend's gay or lesbian lover, when you always ask heterosexual children or friends "How is your husband?" or "How is your wife?" Homophobia is failing to be supportive when your gay or lesbian child, sibling, or friend is sad about a quarrel or breakup with a partner, or when that partner dies. omophobia is feeling repulsed by public displays of affection between gay men or lesbians, but accepting the same affec·;onate displays between heterosexuals as okay. omophobia is making a big deal out of an unwanted adance from a gay man or lesbian, when you calmly say "No +hanks" to an unwanted heterosexual advance. omophobia is a Sexualizing of Gay and Lesbian People omophobia is always thinking of gay men's or lesbians' sexuaty, rather than seeing them as whole, complex persons. omophobia is kissing an old friend, but being afraid even to snake hands with a gay man or lesbian. ...;omophobia is assuming that a gay man or lesbian is making a sexual advance if he or she touchesyou. omophobia is always being curious about which one in a gay 'lesbian couple is "the man" and which one is "the woman." omophobia is thinking that every gay man or lesbian is just someone who couldn't find a heterosexual partner. Homophobia is a Reluctance to Stand Up and Speak Out Homophobia is refusing to confront a homophobic or heterosexist rema rk or joke because you are afraid of being identified with lesbians and gay men. Homophobia is not mentioning to your friends that you work with or support a gay rights organization because you are afraid they will think you are gay. Heterosexism is an Attempt to Control Heterosexism is telling gay men or lesbians that they shouldn't be so outspoken about gay rights while you and your friends are very outspoken about abortion rights, or women's rights, or men's rights, or animal rights. Heterosexism is telling gay men and lesbians that they shouldn't be pushing their own personal agenda. Heterosexism is telling a gay or lesbian person that they would get further professionally if they would "broaden" their interests, as if gay/lesbian studies or anti-heterosexism work was not a "Iegitimate" field of study and interest. Heterosexism is trying to get gay men and lesbians to "shape up" or conform to the heterosexual world by stereotyping them as promiscuous, recruiters, separatists, or radicals. Note The idea for this resource came from Lesbians: A Consciousness Raising Kit by the Boston NOW Lesbian Task Force. I Handouts tor Anti-Homophobia Edutation Workshops Can~u Ident~yHeterosexual Privilege? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ d e'osexual privilege is being able to live your life as part of a larger gmup of heterosexual people who do not as a group have to think ;ce about anything in this list. eterosexual privilege is the legal and religious right to marry ich then includes a number of automatic heterosexual privi. eges, such as: Public recognition of and support for your intimate relationship others inquire about your dates and your expectations of marriage others celebrate your commitment through cards, gifts, verbal congratulations, attending your wedding, etc. preferential treatment in job promotions if you are married ab' ity to adopt children and/or maintain custody of children 'educed rates for insurance policies """'mediate and unquestioned access in cases of emergency paid sick leave for ill spouse; condolences when partner dies d rect and automatic inheritance on spouse's death. eterosexual privilege is a general cultural supportandapproval ,of such things as: our lifestyle and relationships, which are considered normal our dating as a teenager ;our affectionate behavior in public, without fear of harassment, beatings, or death ;,our ability to talk openly with others about housing, vacations, a"'d future plans you are making with your partner our living wth YOur partner your open grieving when a relationship ends your working with children, unless you specifically prove yourself to be unfit your raising of children, without state intervention, unless you specifically prove yourself to be unfit your multiple talents, skills, and interests, without identifying and categorizing you by your sexuality. Heterosexual privilege is general, automatic supportandapproval from the religious community for your desire to get married and form a stable relationship your desire to have and raise children your professional skills to work with youth or children your professional skills to work in a religious institution as administrator or professor your call to the ordained ministry. Individual heterosexual people may confront these issues, but as a population they can automatically assume these privileges. Social, political, economic, and religious forces compe/lesbigay people as a population to think about these issues constantly because society and religious communities do not accord gay and lesbian people these privileges. Notes The idea for this list came from "What is Heterosexual Privilege?" created by the Office of Gay/ Lesbian/Bisexual Student Life, Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia. They adapted it from Caroljean Coventree. Thanks to Ben Curry, The American University, for submitting the original worksheets for both of these lists. These handouts may be reproduced. Fall 1994 I 21 Methodist Student Fellowship Mission Statement We, the members of the Methodist Student Fellowship of Illinois Wesleyan University, seek to form a community of students, faculty, and concerned community members. Through this community we hope to engage in dialogues and actions which foster our understanding of ourselves, each other, our church, our society, and God. To further this understanding, we hope to discuss and take part in issues, both common and controversial, that relate to our faith, our tradition, our reason, and our experience. We feel that MSF should be a safe place for everyone to share their views. We also see the pain and suffering caused by injustice in today's society. We realize that pain and suffering come in many shapes and forms, but we also recognize God's call to respond, both in discussion and in deeds. With this in mind, MSF is dedicated to the inclusion of all people, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, or ability. We recognize our affiliation with the United Methodist Church; however, we wish to remain open and encouraging to all people who may come from different traditions and faiths, and we seek to educate ourselves about them. We are especially aware of the struggles of lesbians, gays, and bisexual people. We ~ see the lack of integrity in the positions 1taken by thhe unbited hMethoddist Church which relate to t ese rot ers an sisters, and we seek to positively affect the church . MSF wishes to remain open and affirming to these and all oppressed people as they continue the struggle with society and the church. In adopting their struggle as our own we formally declare MSF to be a Reconciling Ministry and affiliate ourselves with the Reconciling Congregation Program. Adopted 6 October 1993 MSF AT IWU: BECOMING RECONCILING By Andrew Ulman Several years ago, after experiencing a drop in involvement and enthusiasm, the Methodist Student Fellowship (MSF) at Illinois Wesleyan University started a process to determine its purposes. This discussion began as an effort to rebuild an organization from its fading embers. We asked ourselves: What is our group about? What should we be doing on campus and in our communities? Our discussions led to a consensus: the purpose of our group is to create a nurturing community for all people interested in working together with Christ. We wanted MSF to be a prophetic witness to God's good news in both word and action. This simple discussion about our mission and witness became the necessary spark to build the organization into a burning fire. We chose to become advocates for justice as individuals. The hymn "Pass It On" became our group's theme. We started engaging in new and interesting mission projects and in discussions about the proclamation of God's justice for the oppressed (lsa 42). Our experiences have taught us that having a clear understanding of the church's mission sets an important foundation for Christian organizations seeking to be inclusive. Because our understanding of Christian mission includes the all-embracing love and grace of God, we felt we had a responsibility to become truly all-embracing of every person who walked into our meetings. We learned about the Reconciling Congregation Program for United Methodist churches in the spring of 1993 after a member of our organization chanced upon Holy Covenant Church, an RC in Chicago. That summer one member of our group interned with the national RCP office. He and I attended the RCP Convocation in Washington, D.C. In the fall when we returned to campus we quickly started working on a mission statement. For the first time we put onto paper all the ideals that we as Christians felt we ought to be struggling for. Among those ideals was a declaration to be reconciling. At one meeting we worked on the ' details of the wording of the document; at the next we adopted it. There was never any doubt whether our MSF group should become reconciling. As soon as we all learned about the program, we knew we ought to be part of it. Our immediate willingness to become reconciling is due almost solely to our early discussions about the purpose of MSF. Once we had in common a significant belief-that God's love is for all people-it became a simple matter for us to promote this belief. For ignorance, we teach knowledge; For hatred, we love; For oppression, we struggle for justice. We easily formed natural alliances with the lesbian and gay organization on campus, with whom we are now sponsoring joint projects. We are fostering a relationship between MSF and the university chaplain who has just completed a sabbatical on human sexuality and Christian experiences. Fellowship organizations like the MSF are one forum where members can more easily come to a common understanding of Christ's mission. This context of mission is where the discussions on becoming reconciling might beginwith Christ. During the process of becoming reconciling, our group came to a unified understanding of God's allinclusive love and God's call to be in ministry in every place where there is oppression. For ignorance, we teach knowledge; for hatred, we love; and for oppression, we struggle for justice. T Andrew Ulman is a senior at Illinois Wesleyan University where he studies Religion and Women's Studies. He is a candidate for ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church. Open Hands 22 ____________________________________________________________________________________________ _ ~~O~@j W@OlJ~ ~~~~~)f~W~)fW 1f~~(f)~~~1f0lJ~~ Assessing Your CAMPUS MINISTRY 1. Do members of your governing board support try with lesbigay persons (students, faculty, staff, ministrators, community residents) in your college If not, invite the governing board to begin the process developing such a ministry. 2. Do your staff members participate in ing and/or have experience with lesbigay 3. Do your mission statement, erature reflect a commitment gay persons? 4. Do you advertise your ll11UUU publications? S. Do you subscribe to concerns? 6. Do you maintain a cals, and other 7. Do you offer program~ sex, or the diversity 8. Do you offer programs the following areas: Scri",hh-a tian saints and leaders, world religions, mult rights, military service, 9. Do you include lesbigay joys and _ 10. Do you publish a list of incl clergy in the area? 11. Do you offer pastoral care and/or ~VUll')~l111~ for lesbigay individuals, couples, parents _12. Do you conduct holy unions or house blessings? _13. If you have a sanctuary, do you offer its use for gay ceremonies? Ifnot, do you offer referrals to sive congregations and clergy? _14. Do you offer care and advocacy for lesbigay who suffer discrimination, hate-crimes" lence, sexual abuse, or arrest under "sodomy" laws?, '$""'=-w'~-" _15. Do you use your prophetic voice to support lesbigay ' _ concerns in the community and church? _ 16. Do you regularly pray for your ministry with lesbigay persons and for their joys and concerns? urr~ Assessing Your CAMPUS 1. Does your college or university have a statement of nondiscrimination that includes lesbigay persons? 2. Does the institution try to live up to its statement or is it "only on paper"? 3. Has the institution ever studied the concerns of its lesmembers (students, faculty, staff, administrators)? some students, faculty, staff, or administrators openly or transgender? Are other mem"out" about their support of lesDo the groups talk? offer its employees and/or students about lesbigay concerns? (health clinic, police security, of lesbigay persons? offer care and advocacy for lesbifrom discrimination, hate-crimes, ? What are the grievance pro- programs, training, referrals, adt.. a~urces about lesbigay concerns? have a student union or student provides lesbigay support groups, sorrals, advocacy, and other resources? ution provide a full benefits and privithe families of lesbigay employees? the institution have a lesbigay academic studies department or program? Are lesbigay histories, issues, and themes included in other academic departments or programs? Does the library include lesbigay resources? the institution's policies, procedures, publications, forms use language and examples inclusive of lesbigay persons and concerns? Do photographs reflect the diversity of sexual orientations? 15. If the institution has coordinate campuses or graduate schools, do they provide safe and secure environments for lesbigay persons? Row to Become a Reconciling Campus Ministry. Resource Paper #6, RCp, 1994. Shoemaker, Steven. "How a Local Church-Campus Ministry is Trying to Overcome the Fear and Hatred of Homosexuals." Breaking the Silence: (h ercoming the Fear. Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), 1985. .W erson, James, chair. In Every Classroom: The Report ofthe President's Select Committee for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. Rutgers, 1989. Breaking the Silence: Final Report ofthe Select Committee on Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns. University of Minnesota, 1993. 612/624-2855. Compiled by Lindsay L. Biddle Fall 1994 23 SusfainiTlfJ fhe Spirit: S'l rworsFiip Service ofCelebrafion Gathering Music A time for meditation will follow the call to at today's service. You will notice it is a bit unusual, and at a few points you will be asked to participate in non-customary ways. As you worship today, you will be involved in a congregational performance piece, in which together we will play out the process of reconciling in our lives. Call to Worship Leader: You are welcome here. People: Who do we mean when we say you? Do we mean you who were not welcome? Leader: You are welcome here. People: Where do we mean when we say here? Do we mean in our hearts or in this building? Leader: I am welcome here. People: I am welcome here. Leader: We are a people whole-and hurting. People: We are a people whole-and healing. PART I: DISUNION Meditation During the meditation, please turn and face out of the circle, to the wall. Think on your feeling ofisolation in this gathering ofbelievers. Hear the words ofPaul in this formation, then turn back to face in as you hear the introduction to the hymn. I Corinthians 12:14-21, 26-27, 29-31 Hymn: What Gift Can We Bring? No. 87, verses 1-3 United Methodist Hymnal After we have sung the first verse in our circle, please move to a seat as you continue to sing. PART II: REUNION Words of Welcome Children's Story Hymn: What Gift Can We Bring? No. 87, verse 4 Open Hands 24 Witness: Love Letters Several letters will be read. Their sources range from Paul ofTarsus to Alice Walker and other prophets in our midst today. They are letters about reunions and wholeness. They are also about brokenness, where reconciling is still a seed ofhope. They connect with each other only in the largest sense ofhuman experience. Hear them as a kaleidoscope, ifyou will. Silent Reflection PART III: COMMUNION oys and Concerns As we share our lives by bringing our joys and concerns to the body gathered, please share your own reflection on reconciling's shape and meaning in your life. Community Prayer Offerings Preparation for the Eucharist Leader: We are called to be reconciled because we once were whole and became broken. People: Our wholeness was terrifying. We broke ourselves because the little pieces are easier to see. Leader: We are called to be reconciled because we are called to be whole. People: Wholeness is terrifying. It's easier to break ourselves into us and them, inside and outside. Leader: The whole and living circle of love is a terrifying thing. People: It is our beginning. Passing the Peace As we pass peace to each other with a kiss or a hug or a poke or a nudge or a wink or a raising of our hands, let us know we embody in this action the whole and living circle oflove. Become a symbol ofthis love by moving into a circle in the center ofthe sanctuary, around the table with the elements-it's okay ifthe circle is two or three people deep. We will share the eucharist in this formation. Eucharist-sharing a meal [Print directions for your church.] Closing Hymn: The Gift of Love No. 408, verses 1 and 2 United Methodist Hymnal This service ofworship was originally created by Cindy Peterson, Martha Rogers, and Thew Elliott, with the help of Chip Aldridge, Mitchell Bond, and Mary Kraus, pastor, for the 7th anniversary of Dumbarton United Methodist Church (Washington, DC) becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Directions: If your sanctuary will accommodate it, move pews or chairs into a circle, semicircle, or some arrangement other than straight rows and place your worship table in the center. Ifnot, devise another way for the congregation to "turn their backs II in the Meditation time Substitute "open and affirming" or "more light" etc. if your ministry is not United Methodist. The hymn "What Gift Can We Bring" is by Jane Marshall, 1982. The hymn "The Gift of Love" (based on 1 Cor 13:1-3) is by Hal Hopson, 1972. Both hymns are copyrighted by Hope Publishing Company. Fall 1994 25 o On Pain, Anger, Joy, and Dis-Grace Do you hear the pain and compromise in the stories between these covers? Do you hear the unnamed anger that threatens to drain the energy and creativity of students, pastors, and campus ministers alike? Do you hear the steady pulse of the deep faith in God's unconditional love and steadfastness in ministry in one writer after another? Do you hear the cries of those students and ministers who have been dis-graced? Do you hear how some are cut off from channels of the grace of God that others take for granted? Editing this issue of Open Hands has carried me from pain, to anger, to admiration and hope, to dis-grace-and back again. I could feel the pain oozing off the manuscript pages as I worked with these articles. It was harder to get in touch with the anger that seemed tightly capped beneath the pain: anger at the church's refusal to confess its sins; anger at the church's inability to ask forgiveness of countless numbers of its own that the church has sinned against; anger at the church's focus on lithe homosexuality issue" or "right doctrine" or "church polity" rather than on the cries for love, acceptance, and support coming from God's children. And the sense of "dis-grace"? Well, it's there too, peering forlornly through the hopefulness of students and the steadfast outreach of the ministers. Every time I edit an issue of this magazine I hear and feel the pulse of that unnamed, painful anger. This time the pulsing beat is louder. Perhaps it is because the church-our beloved church-is messing with our children, with God's children, with our hopes for the future. How can we the church continue to stand by and let ignorant and uncaring landlords kick out yet more Jonathans who sit in a heap of their belongings on a street curb wailing, IIAll I want is to be left alone ... Why do they say such awful things about me?" (p. 18) I say "we the church" because I believe that until our voices and our power is great enough to end the disgrace of the church that leads to the dis-grace of God's lesbigay people, we all must group ourselves with that larger institution and its sin-even as we individually and collectively work to confront it. So I ask my questions of myself and of you: How can we the church sit silently by while another group of teenagers has entered college dorms, knowing they must be on their guard constantly lest someone find out they are queer and proceed to harass or bash them? (p. 11) How can we the church just say "too bad" when a campus minister confesses he did not speak out against the fundamentalist student who told gay students "You are condemned. AIDS is your judgment. Either repent or die."? (p. 7) How can we the church not repent of our sin of heterosexism? of our fear of taking a stand? of our overconcern not to "split the church" and our under-concern with the painful realities of God's gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual children? (p. 9) Where is the loud indignation from the church when fearful college, university, or seminary presidents refuse to allow gay, lesbian, bisexual support groups or AIDS conferences or gay-positive courses or speakers on campus? Where is the universal calling of our leaders to be in ministry with all God's children? (p. 22) Where is the shout from the church of "enough" when gifted faculty, staff, and campus ministers lose their jobs for speaking out on behalf of God's gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual college children? (p. 7) Positive examples of joy and connection and s'upport are also expressed in this issue. Each example drew a cheer of joy from me, a whisper of thanks, and a fervent prayer to God to sustain those courageous students staff, faculty, and clergy who birthed the successful ministries. Positive, successful ministries with God's queer children abound. Thank God! Still the pain exists and the anger pulses underneath. I keep wondering when we as the church at large will finally shout IIenough Jonathans wailing on the curb, enough Erics who need 'gaydar' to live safely, enough invisible lesbian partners of faculty without partner benefits, enough self-righteous fundamentalists, enough timid presidents and trustees, enough campus ministers fearful of losing financial support and their ever-diminishing flocks, enough students disillusioned with a narrow-minded, heterosexist church, enough gifted leaders sacked for speaking out. When will it be time to end the disgrace of our church? When will it be time to end the dis-grace of God's queer children and those who love and support and minister to and with them? We haven't reached that critical mass yet-but every welcoming church and every welcoming campus ministry helps us on our way! Every time we the church stand up and firmly support the creation of "circles of friends" and /lopen door ministries" and "At the Table Projects" on campuses, we help dispel a little more of that feeling of dis-grace. ..-n(~~ ()s.{),~ Open Hands 26 & Letters hUTches To Ministries On "'zpus ministries! In the United States since e students are in almost every church. The rise community college movement and the focus on contLnuin,.; education in business and industry have meant that ople in most congregations are involved in post-high education. Some Sunday ask your congregation to IIraise and if in the last twelve months you have taken at least niyersity or college course." Ask IIHow many have taken inuing education seminar or workshop in the last twelve ·hsr Probably 10 to 20 percent of adults will raise their to one of these questions . . e same process of ministry applies whether churches are sed on welcoming lesbigay folks or on ministry with stu"' of all types. This process involves four steps: commit, "ify, listen, and respond. At least a portion of the congre.~n needs to be committed to linking with students. This "p then needs to reach out in a non-threatening, welcom..:ay to those identified as involved in higher education. ents' needs will vary tremendously, so listening carefully ..al to the process of linking a local congregation with stuts on campus. From loneliness to over-involvement, from oal-induced poverty to being seduced by college consum'sm, from looking-for-a-partner to maintaining a relationip, from questioning all faith commitments to being vulerable to cults-all can be issues to which the local Christian mmunity may need to respond. Since Christian congregations near campuses range from mophobic to openly affirming of lesbigay students, some urches choose to be more public in their welcoming of lesigay students, regularly printing in church bulletins and ads eir welcome and disagreement with national, denomina. onal, homophobic policies. These more formal and public ponses will be viewed positively by lesbigay students who e searching for a church home. The people who are the problem-solving, contributing, welcoming leaders of society and church tomorrow are today's students. Identifying strategies to link with them are worthy of imagination and effort by Christian churches. Steven Shoemaker is Co-pastor ofMcKinley Presbyterian Church and Director of the McKinley Foundation (a church-based campus ministry) in Campaign, Illinois. Fall 1994 About Transgendered Persons Dear Mr. Bowman: Thank you for your letter describing Open Hands. It is a program that is long overdue. In your letter you state: IIMillions of lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons, and their families and friends, won't go away." How much better this would have read if it had said: IIMillions of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenderedpersons, and their families and friends, won't go away." The transgendered are part of God's family, and the first to be excluded by both the heterosexual and homosexual communities. During Operation Desert Storm, many of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters were sent to the front, their administrative discharges put on hold. A small group of transgendered people were recalled to active duty (having been previously discharged) and sent to the front. Yet, they are never mentioned. Likewise, when the subject of reconciliation comes up in the churches, the transgendered are never mentioned. If we are going to heal our world, we cannot allow any of God's children to be excluded. Sr. Mary Elizabeth, SSE, San Juan Capistrano, CA About our Magazine Dear Sir: THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sending me Vol. 9, No. 4 [Reaching Out Boldly: Evangelism with a Welcoming Flavor] of your new, very much improved Open Hands magazine! I thor0ughly ENJOYED it. You improved it 100 percent. Count me in on a year's subscription. You've won me over . PS. Please send one back copy to [a friend]. Invite him to subscribe too . Donna Walthour, Leechburg, PA About Invisibility ofOld Gays/Lesbians Dear Mark: ...For some time I have had a concern that the gay/lesbian media have failed to respond to the existence of older gay/ lesbian persons in our community. Rarely if ever do we see an article on our activities, our contributions to the SOciety in which we live... I recently received a copy of Open Hands, looked for articles about older folks, and found none. I did find a statement under the title IIMarketing the Gospel." [Reaching Out Boldly: Evangelism with a WelcomingFlavor, Spring 1994] Again, we are cast aside as very closeted. Many are. However, the statement that this can only change through their initiative seems to me to be the church's easy way out... When I pick up a gay publication, I rarely ever see any articles on accomplishments of older gay persons ... Many of us are out there doing our work, sharing our lives and our faith that God truly loves us just as we are ... Anyone reading this letter might say I have a bruised ego. Not so! I am indeed fortunate that I am able to take risks for my faith and who lam.. .1 am fully aware there are gaps between generations-different ideas and thoughts. However, I only pray that those gaps do not become a road block for mutual respect and love for one another... Ted Christman, Minneapolis, MN 27 CAMPUS MINISTRY: BASIC REFERENCES Boston Lesbian Psychologies Collective, ed. Lesbian Psychologies: Explorations & Challenges. Chicago: University of Illinois Press, 1987. Explores a variety of identity issues for lesbians. Isay, Richard A. Being Homosexual: Gay Men and their Development. New York: Aronson, 1989. Challenges traditional psychoanalytic attitudes and practices; defines a "normal" path of psychological development. Reconciling Congregation Program. Reconciling Campus Ministries, Resource Paper #6. Chicago: Reconciling Congregation Program, 1994. 312/736-5526. Looks at the "why" and "how" of becoming welcoming. Sherrill, Jan-Mitchell and Craig A. Hardesty. The Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Students' Guide to Colleges, Universities and Graduate Schools. New York: New York University Press, 1994. Evaluates the campus climate. Weinberg, Martin S., ColinJ. Williams, and Douglas W. Pryor. Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality. New York: Oxford University, 1994. Adds a much-needed chapter to the basic work of Kinsey and Masters and Johnson. Wrathall, John. At the table: A Campus Ministry-Based Anti-Homophobia Project. United Ministries in Higher Education, 1994. 331 17th Avenue, SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414. $10. A pilot campus project. Lots of resources. VIDEOS And the Band Played On. HBO, 1994. Provides a history of the AIDS epidemic in the United States. Last Call at Maud's. Water Bearer Films, 1993. A 77-minute documentary on lesbian social history. McNaught, Brian. On Being Gay. TRB Productions, 1986. An 80minute video best viewed in two 40-minute settings. Office of Television & Radio. A Little Respect: Gay Men, Lesbians and Bisex~als on Campus. Rutgers, 1990. Conversations with students about the gay community. SPIRITUAL EMPOWERMENT Board of Discipleship, UMC. Spirituality for AIDS Ministries. alive now! Oan/Feb 1993). Nashville: Upper Room, 1993. Stories, prayers, poems. Butler, Becky. Ceremonies ofthe Heart: Celebrating Lesbian Unions. Seattle: The Seal Press, 1990. Twenty-seven lesbian couples' rituals, publicly affirming their love. Comstock, Gary David. Gay Theology without Apology. New York: The Pilgrim Press, 1993. Critically assesses Christian scripture, tradition, and the practice of the church. Fortunato, John. Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1985. Offers hope and encouragement for lesbigay Christians. Glaser, Chris. The Word is Out! The Bible Reclaimed for Lesbians and Gay Men. San Francisco: Harper, 1994. Devotional readings integrating faith and sexuality. Heyward, Carter. Touching our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love ofGod. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1989. Experiential sexual theology fusing love/justice. More Light Churches Network. More Light Prayers. More Light Update. Annual January issue. P.O. Box 38, New BrunSwick, NJ 089030038. Collections of prayers. Reconciling Congregation Program. Celebrating the Inclusive ,God: Worship in the Welcoming Community. Open Hands 9 (Winter 1994). Issue on worship, liturgies, resources. Stuart, Elizabeth. Daring to Speak Love's Name: A Gay and lesbian Prayer Book. London: Hamish Hamilton, 1992. Combines practical help with inspirational psalms/prayers for the worshipping community. Walker, Alice. "Beauty: When the Other Dancer is the Self," In Search ofour Mother's Gardens. Orlando: Harcourt Brace & Company, 1983, pp. 361-370. Explores feelings of being different which all people experience in some form. TEXTS FOR CLASSROOM LECTURERS Boswell, John. Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning ofthe Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1980. Historical research which challenges the church's past relationship to its gay members. See also his Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe. Villard Books, 1994. Crumpacker, Laurie and Eleanor M. Vander Haegen. Integrating the Curriculum: Teaching about Lesbians and Homophobia. Wellesley College, Center for Research on Women, 1984. A study of curriculum changes. Duberman, Martin, Martha Vicinus, and George Chauncey, Jr. Hidden from History: Reclaiming the Gay & Lesbian Past. New York: Meridian Book, 1989. Brings together vital scholarly studies on lesbian and gay history. Goldberg, Jonathan. Reclaiming Sodom. New York: Routledge, 1994. A significant and controversial contribution on sexuality and gender in our culture. Harbeck, Karen M., ed. Coming Out of the Classroom Closet: Gay and Lesbian Students, Teachers and Curricula. New York: Harrington Park Press, 1992. For all educators trying to confront homophobia/heterosexism in education. Marcus, Eric. Is It a Choice? Answers to 300 ofthe Most Frequently Asked Questions about Gays and Lesbians. San Francisco: Harper, 1993. An honest, compassionate, and comprehensive resource on lesbian and gay culture. Compiled by Laura Lee Wilson Open Hands 28 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~----~ elcoming Movement congregations which have joined our o\'ement in recent months, "'Y...-Y...'Y.IJ ....................... OPEN --D-L M!t~M!~.~ ~ "'Y...-Y...'Y.IJ ....................... OPEN AND AFFIRMING "rst Congregational UCC ianapolis, Indiana Although situated in an upper middle class area, this conegation of 400 is committed to ministry with the whole city ot Indianapolis. With its interim pastor, it is working on re..ewal of that mission. There is great excitement about new possibilities, including widening opportunities for lay particiation and further developing the Christian education pro- am. The church wants its /laNA attitude" to be known in the city and continues to explore how it can be more op~n and affirming to a wide range of people. First Congregational UCC Greenfield, Massachusetts The 250 members of this rural/suburban church in western ,.fassachusetts are engaged in a process of redefinition and diseO\'ery as they search for a new pastor. This fall they look for, ard to welcoming the area's UCCJust Peace Fellowship which rt~f"eld, Minnesota 'n be ably hosted by their energetic women's fellowship. Mntense time of aNA study and decision making, they "n their aNA commitment with the goal of inerstanding about what it can mean in the life of First VCC a small college town church of 400, just completed major renovation of its old building, the first such changes and additions in eighty years! The project included restoration of a wonderful, historic pipe organ. As part of its active mission program and ONA commitment, the church is working with a community group to arrange "safe space" at the church for lesbigay teens to meet and talk. At the all-church retreat in November, the congregation will continue discussion about what it means to be an inclusive community. It will also soon begin a study of the new UCC sexuality curriculum. WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact the appropriate program listed on p. 3 or p. 32. Mira Vista UCC EI Cerrito, California Diverse in race, sexual orientation, and theological perspective, this East Bay congregation of 120 members is experiencing exciting transition as many young people are becoming part of its active life. Its strong local mission program includes a winter shelter for homeless women and children. The church understands being a NA as IIa continuing journey" which includes discovering new ways to reach out to the gay/lesbian community and exploring wider issues of inclusiveness. Church members participated in San Francisco's Gay Pride Parade as part of the 100-member, ecumenical "welcoming churches" contingent. United Church of Christ New Brighton, Minnesota Located on the outskirts of the Twin Cities, this 400-member suburban church supports numerous missions in the local area and beyond. In 1993, they were involved in a Habitat for Humanity home-building project in Mississippi. Their aNA study was part of a strong adult education program, On October 11, National Coming Out Day, they were part of /lComing Out: A Celebration of Faith Communities," an interfaith event. Wild Rose UCC Evergreen, Colorado Diverse in faith backgrounds, sexual orientations, and lifestyles, this tiny congregation in the foothills west of Denver meets in the local Senior Center. Right after voting to be a NA, the congregation rejoiced in recommending one of its openly gay members for /lIn-Care" status for ordination. The church has just taken the /I frightening but exciting step" of moving from a full-time to a part-time pastorate. With lay and clergy members now taking on new responSibilities, the congregation is evaluating its place in the community and looking at growth strategies. They ask prayers of support as they move boldly into the future, Fall 1994 29 First UMC Portland, Oregon This l,OOO-member downtown congregation, celebrating its lS0th anniversary in 1998, is well-known for its participation in social justice issues. They hire interns to work for community social services agencies, offer a homeless shelter, employ an outreach coordinator, and' created an AIDS Memorial Quilt panel in memory of their pastor who died of AIDS. They hosted 72,000 visitors to the International Anne Frank Exhibit on Diversity in 1992 when a ballot measure against gays and lesbians was dividing the state. First UMC joined the Reconciling Congregation movement one year after a vote to welcome people of all sexual orientations. After studying for two-and-a-half years, a Reconciling Task Force recommended the positive vote to the congregation and led a series of six classes on three occasions, followed by two town hall meetings. A Church and Sexuality Committee helps the church choose appropriate actions in affirmation, education, and outreach. Ravenna UMC Seattle, Washington Ravenna UMC is a small congregation in an urban, professional neighborhood near the University of Washington campus. This congregation with a "strong neighborhood feeling" has an active music ministry and children's ministries. While its neighborhood includes many lesbian and gay persons, Ravenna realized that becoming an RC was also an important concern for heterosexual persons and families in the community. Walnut Creek UMC Walnut Creek, California Walnut Creek UMC is an 800-member, suburban church with progressive traditions in largely conservative Contra Costa County. This church has a highly active and strong lay leadership, including many professional persons. The congregation's willingness to experiment is evidenced by its current plan to develop an alternative worship experience. The congregation is active in SHARE, an ecumenical group which collects and distributes food and financial support for persons in need. Walnut Creek recently became involved in "Our Neighbors," a program to resettle homeless families. The congregation began learning about social justice for lesbian and gay persons eight years ago with a series of educational forums. They began seriously considering becoming an RC in 1992, culminating in a vote this past June. UM Community of Hope Tulsa, Oklahoma The Community of Hope was organized in the summer of 1993 as a "shalom base community." Now, a year later, over 100 persons are participating. The community offers Volunteers in Mission work teams, Affirming Diversity focus groups, a care team for persons with HIV / AIDS, and projects in response to domestic violence and homelessness. Believing that these ministries are grounded in a deep spirituality, Community of Hope also offers regular Bible study, support groups, and special workshops. Founded as an intentionally multicultural and inclusive community, Community of Hope's plan from its inception was to become an RC. James Preston is Rep Outreach Staff James Preston began in October as full-time outreach staff for the Reconciling Congregation Program in the Chicago office. An elder in the Northwest Texas Conference, James has served churches in Lubbock and Amarillo. He also served as Conference Youth Coordinator. James brings skills in Christian education, congregational enablement, liturgy, and public speaking to the RCP, as well as an abundance of energy and enthusiasm. James's work will focus on cultivating new Reconciling Congregations. He also will provide support to Reconciling Campus Ministries and the Reconciling Pastors' Action Network. Although James will spend much time traveling on behalf of the RCp, he enjoys your words of welcome when you call or write to the office. Ecumenical Welcoming Movement Surpasses 400 Our ecumenical movement of churches that welcome all persons regardless of sexual orientation is now growing at the rate of one new congregation per week and totals over 400 mainline congregations. This accomplishment was celebrated during the September 24-25 meeting of the leaders of the "welcoming church" programs in Chicago. The leaders of the More Light (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran), Reconciling (United Methodist), and Supportive (Brethren/Mennonite) church programs also announced January 29, 1995, as "Ecumenical Welcoming Sunday." Welcoming congregations in all denominations are encouraged to celebrate their inclusive, reconciling ministries with lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons on that Sunday as a statement of solidarity with each other. The leaders also shared plans and resources in their respective programs and discussed ways of supporting each other. This is the fourth annual meeting of these program leaders. The Open Hands Editorial Advisory Committee met in conjunction with the welcoming program leaders. Committee members reported continued praise received from readers since the magaZine became ecumenical in January 1993. This is evidenced by the growth in paid subscribers from 1,700 to 2,400 during this period. The advisory committee planned themes for upcoming issues of Open Hands (see box on next page). Open Hands 30 UMC Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual Clergy The Reconciling Congregation Program is facilitating a January retreat for United Methodist lesbianlgay/bisexual Central Jurisdiction. 'r,ethren Produce New Video ~-~onn"'n ito~IB. t: Lesbian and Gay Mennonites and Brethuc the Journey is a 39-minute video portraying the c~ lesbian, gay, and bisexual Mennonites and Brethren ion to their experience with the Church. It provides a for dialogue on how the church weaves its Anabaptist ;' of nonconformity and its call to do justice with the emporary realities of the divisiveness surrounding homoality. The video and a brief study guide are available for from the Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and a:: Concerns, P.O. Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406-0300. CP Releases Study on Effects of ecoming RC \ V ill my congregation lose members and funds if we start reconciling process?" The answer to that question is an emphatic "NO," according to a statistical study done this sumer. Moreover, in a national church that is declining in membership, the ability to retain members is even more signifi- TIle study, commissioned by the Reconciling Congregation os!ram, analyzed fourteen years of data on membership, Sound ror th~ Promis~dLand FOURTH NATIONAL CONVOCATION OF RECONCILING CONGREGATIONS JULY 13-16, 1995 Augsburg College, Minneapolis, Minnesota Youth/Student Rally on July 13, preceding regular Convocation More details to come. worship attendance, church school attendance, and total budget for the fifty-two churches that became Reconciling Congregations (RCs) before 1991. A four-year span covering two years before and two years after a congregation's decision was given particular attention, as these are the most potentially volatile years in the RC process. Results show that some RCs gained in numbers and others lost over these four years. Overall, however, RCs averaged no statistically significant change in membership, worship attendance, and church school attendance over this period. Results also show an increase in total budgets of RCs, but, on average, this increase was the same as other churches in their districts. Responses to a survey about the reconciling process sent to pastors of the fi fty-two RCs was also analyzed. When examined in conjunction with the statistical data, a picture of a dynamic movement emerges. The study was done by Chad Heilig, graduate student in statistics and member of Trinity UMC (Berkeley, California) and Kristin Stoneking, student at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. A copy of the final study report can be obtained from the Reconciling Congregation Program office. u 1995 1995 FALL If you would like to \\Trite an article, contact Fall 1994 31 How Does a Campus Ministry Become Part of the Welcoming Movement? Although campus ministries have traditionally been safe and open places where students could explore questions of faith, identity, and life in general, often it is not apparent that campus ministries are open to gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who may be experiencing intense dissonance between their sexual and spiritual identities. Therefore, some campus ministries are publicly declaring themselves to be open and welcoming by joining the welcoming church movement in their denomination. Contact the person or office below if your group is interested. National Contact Persons More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian) William Capel, 123R West Church Street, Champaign, IL 61820 217/355-9825 Open & Affirming Churches (Disciples) Allen Harris, 1010 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10028 212/ 288-3246 Open and Affirming Churches (United Church of Christ) Ann B. Day, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA 01520 508/856-9316 Reconciled in Christ Churches (Lutheran, ELCA) Judy Bond, 1722 HOllinwood Drive, Alexandria, VA 22307 703/768-4915 Reconciling Congregation Program (United Methodist) James Preston, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Supportive Congregations (Brethren/Mennonite) P.O. Box 6300, Minneapolis, MN 55406 Welcoming & Affirming Baptists P.O. Box 2596, Attleboro Falls, MA 02763 Please send me _ copies of Still on the Journey @ $15 (5 or more copies @ $10). NAME ADDRESS _______________________ CITY/STATE/ZIP _ ________ o Enclosed is payment of $___ OR ADD $3 for shipping. Send order to: Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 DAYTIME PHONE (_) ____ ____ CHURCH _______________________ o Charge to my VISA or Mastercard # -------------------------------Expiration ---1_ Signature ______________ Open Hands 32 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 10 No 2 - Campus Ministries with Sexual Minorities https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/cedca163f592bb276f2cb5693670c0bb.pdf 428712a5d00f39c18db012a263de7f9c Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 10 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1994 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document Open Hands is a resource for congregations and individuals seeking to be in ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay persons. Each issue focuses on a specific area of concern within the church. Open Hands is published quarterly by the Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. (United Methodist) in conjunction with More Light Churches Network (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ), and Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran) Programs. Each of these programs is a national network of local churches that publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and welcome lesbian and gay persons and their families into their community of faith. These four programs -along with Open and Affirming (Disciples of Christ), Welcoming (Unitarian Universalist), Supportive Congregations (Brethren/ Mennonite), and Welcoming and Affirming (American Baptist) programs -offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community. Open Hands is published quarterly. Subscription is $16 for four issues ($20 outside the U.S.). Single copies and back issues are $5. Quantities of lO or more, $3 each. Subscriptions, letters to the editor, manuscripts, requests for advertising rates, and other correspondence should be sent to: Open Hands 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 Phone: 312/736-5526 Fax: 312/736-5475 Member, The Associated Church Press © 1994 Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. Open Hands is a registered trademark. ISSN 0888-8833 @ Printed on recycled pape1: Resources jor Ministries Afjirming the Diversity oj Human Sexuality RECLAIMING PRIDE Focus on Pride 4 ANN B. DAY 5 Metanoia! Redeeming a Lost Metaphor C. M ARTIN DAVIS How to free 'repentance' from its Babylonian captivity! Gift-ed By Pride! APRIL HERRON-SWEET A personal witness from a straight pastor. RESTORING DAMAGED PRIDE Sin Against the Holy Spirit A POEM BY HARVEY M A NCHESTER, JR. FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION Remember our History! ANITA C. HILL Everyone needs a past stop suppressing ours! Pride is a Face-Lifting Process AN ONYMOUS 2 Open Hands 8 9 10 13 14 15 ----- Program Coordinators Reclaiming Pride: An Agenda for the Church? A Prideline of Marches 16 A visual glance at pre-and post-Stonewall demonstrations. Sto newall -25:the"-Ch~urch Was"'fhere! 18 Thank God for the Spirit of Stonewall! 20 HOWARD B . WARREN, JR Reflections from one who stood across the street. Hollywood Promotes Self-Esteem 21 LINDSAY LOUISE BIDDLE Can the church learn from Hollywood's technique? SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT ComingOut -A~Witness to the?'Resurrecti9r11"""~" 22 A RITUAL Cij'EATED,BY CHRIS GtA'SER *' ~tfi(ln yourff1embers who ar~, coming qf$""~' ritual ~'~~ted fot puqtl~hlfJrship! !;::.0ttz' In Pride We Claim You 24 A LITANY CREATED BY K ELLY T URNEY west coast east 25 A POEM BY CARLTON ELLIOTT SMITH Mark Bowman Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc. 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641 312/ 736-5526 Ann B. Day Open and Affirming Program P.O. Box 403 Holden, MA 01520 508/ 856-9316 Brian Knittel o Reconciled in Christ Program 2800 Buena Vista Way Berkeley, CA 94708 5lO/ 841-6990 William Capel :·'·~:~' T More Light Churches Network 908 W. Healy Street . .~:. Champaign, IL 61821 217/ 355-9825 Publisher Mark Bowman Open Hands Editor Mary Jo Osterman Layout I Graphics I Typesetting In Print -Jan Graves Editorial Advisory Committee Reva Anderson, Toledo, OH Peg Beissert, Rolling Hills Est., CA Ann Marie Coleman, Chicago, IL Dan Hooper, Los AngeIes, CA Derrick Kikuchi, Daly City, CA Samuel E. Loliger, Buffalo, NY Shawndra Miller, Goshen, IN Dick Poole, Oak Forest, IL Caroline Presnell, Evanston, IL Irma C . Romero, Chicago, IL Paul Santillan, Chicago, IL Martha Scott, Chicago, IL Stuart Wright, Chicago, IL ONE MORE WORD 26 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 27 RESOURCES 28 MOVEMENT NEWS 29 ~"'."'."'''' ......... OPEN mt~~!~ ~...; ........, ~..........",~ Summer 1994 3 I hear the word "pride" and immediately think "goeth before a fall." I can't help it. It's one of those KJV Bible verses from childhood that is indelibly impressed on my memory though not quite accurately. The full verse warns, "Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Prov 16:18). This passage has left me with a wariness about pride -a sense that it is somehow inappropriate, even dangerous. I have come to realize, however, that the word "pride" covers many intentions of the heart. There's the kind in Proverbs which causes people to be "haughty" -or as my grandmother would have said, "to get too big for their britches." Such an inflated view endangers both fellowship and faith. No wonder biblical texts warn believers to be wary. However, the heart knows another kind of pride, a kind marked by a sense of one's own proper dignity or value or self respect. Unlike self-centered pride, this pride of the centered-self reminds us that the Rev. Jesse Jackson is right; every human being has reason to shout: "I am somebody!" In light of our faith, we might then turn to our neighbor and say "And so are you!" We are called to honor God by nurturing and bringing to maturity the unique, genuine selves that we are . Renowned composer and cellist, Pablo Casals also understood. He urged that we instill pride in our children by saying to them: Do you know who you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all oj the world there is no other child exactly like you . .. And look at your body -what a wonder it is! your legs, your arms, your cunningJingers, the way you move! You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity Jor anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel?1 Young lesbigay persons, as well as their heterosexual peers, need to grow up knowing themselves marvels of God's creation. To the extent that we believe that "we are all one in Christ" we all need to have gay/lesbian/ bisexual pride: Pride that makes us want to know the history of pink triangles, the Stonewall Inn, and "don't ask don't tell"; Pride that moves us to appreciate the literary, artistic, dramatic, liturgical, and political contributions of lesbigay people throughout history; Pride that assures we know the witness of BillJohnson, Troy Perry, Janie Spahr, John McNeill and countless other lesbigay Christian leaders; Pride that will not allow us to abide indifference and injustice toward the lesbigay expression of the Holy. We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. To do so with integrity we need some appreciation of the reasons for the smiles or tears we share. For gay, lesbian, and bisexual people some of the reasons are rooted in the past -centuries of struggle and accomplishmenthat are the foundation for today's Ie bigay community. Some of the reasons are very contemporary -the persona' stories of our gay, lesbian, and bisexua. sisters and brothers. As we in the churc:-: come to know these past and prese " stories we shall better understand the need for and the sources of lesbiga,' pride. We will realize how widesprea . condemnation remains and how urgenis the Church's welcome. Together then. to the glory of God, we will learn to care for and be proud of the marvels that we are. 'Y Note lIn Original Blessing by Matthew Fox. Santa Fe: Bear &: Company, 1983. p. 94. 4 Open Hands .~~O\\ING".t ~ \1\alollle ~~ ByJonathan R. Abernethy and David E. Deppe Is It Possible to Reclaim Pride? Do We Want To? Listen in on a dialogue in progress. there are to dignity, (self-)esteem, (self-) respect.2 Jonathan: There is a passing reference in Proverbs to the dignity of women (Prov 31:25). David: Yes, and at the conclusion ofJob the writer is told to clothe himself with majesty and dignity. However,Job seems to do this, not out of self-respect or selfesteem, but for the purpose of bringing low those who are proud Gob 40: 10l4). David (to spouse, Jonathan): "Reclaiming Pride" is a problem! The more research I do, the more I discover how little is said about pride and how almost nothing is positive. It's like breaking new ground. Jonathan: Maybe you are. David: The whole thing of pride -especially "Lesbigay Pride" -is so important for our community, especially in the midst of our celebrations of the Stonewall anniversary. However, what I'm finding is all so negative. We've got a problem. The Down Side of Pride Jonathan: Is reclaiming pride the problem? That's easy. In our daily living many of us are eager to embrace egotism, haughtiness, arrogance, conceit, and vanity. David: That's right! Our common view of pride is everything you have said. And that's part of the problem. Jonathan: Well,you won't get any help from the Bible. I can't think of a Single positive reference to pride. What I remember is the proverbial pride goeth before afall . .. David: ... or God's opposing the proud, but giving grace to the humble. To make matters worse, when the Bible speaks of pride it often connects pride to those negative synonyms. For example Proverbs says: The proud, haughty person . " acts with arrogant pride Summer 1994 (Prov 21:24).1 In the gospel of Mark pride is included in a long list of socalled evil intentions beginning with for nication and theft (Mk 7:21-22). Paul includes haughty in his infamous Romans 1 list (Rom 1:29-31). The Up Side of Pride Jonathan: Like I said, the Bible's not going to help us. David: Well, maybe. However, there's a side of pride we've lost. Pride is a word with two opposite meanings. There is the common view of pride -all that appeals to our lower nature -and there's also another side, a more noble meaning that demands our attention pride as dignity, self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem. Jonathan: But few people pay attention to this positive side of pride. David: What's faSCinating is that in both Hebrew and Greek, as well as in English, pride has this positive and negative meaning. The Hebrew word ga'own can also mean excellency or majesty; and hyperephanon in classical . Greek can mean outstanding or distinguished . Jonathan: Does the Bible ever use pride in this more noble sense? David: Yes, but not often. Isaiah (4:2) makes a positive reference, and there are two passages by Paul (2 Cor 7:4 and Gal 6:4 ). That's about it. What surprises me is how few direct biblical references Jonathan: And the Bible talks about honoring parents, respecting elders, honoring the poor. David: And in Acts, the Apostles were held in high esteem by the early church (Acts 5:13). But that's all! In fact, there are stern admonitions warning against such things as self-respect or self-esteem (see Prov 26:16, 28: 11). Should the Church Reclaim Pride? Jonathan: So what does this have to say about reclaiming pride? David: Well, it says a lot. First of all, it is obvious the biblical writers don't think highly of pride. They only know the negative side of pride, the haughtiness and arrogance. Their message is clear: Have nothing to do with that. Jonathan: Frankly, I agree. These are not attributes that need encouraging. As I said, that kind of pride comes easy enough. Most of us indulge in that kind of behavior as a reaction to the invisibility society demands of us. The closet is not our choice! The closet is demeaning. And so we wear arrogance and haughtiness as our defense . David: What the biblical writers hold up as an alternative -humility, lowliness in spirit, meekness, gentleness also need no encouraging in our community. Such attributes can be fine character traits. However, for lesbigay people they easily become character more II•• 5 defects. For too long we "gentle people" have wallowed in humility, shame, guilt, and self-pity. Jonathan: Isn't that true of any group of oppressed people? I wonder if that's what the biblical writers are really trying to address? Maybe they were trying to discourage the hurtful side of pride. David: Perhaps. But the alternative is no better. What oppressed people need to hear is something about dignity, selfworth, self-respect . .. Jonathan: . .. and self-love. The Bible does speak positively about self-love ... David: What do you mean? Jonathan: Well, when the Pharisees ask Jesus about the greatest commandment, Jesus responds: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind . .. and you shall love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:34-40). For me the message is clear: One cannot love another unless one loves oneself. And one cannot love oneself if one is engaged in the hurtful, negative aspects of pride such as arrogance, conceit, vanity, or haughty superiority. David: Interesting! Nor can we love another if we are engaged in being meek and submissive. Jonathan: Paul makes the same point in reference to love between spouses. A spouse is to love the other even as s/he loves her/himself (Eph 5:33). David: Loving your neighbor as yourselfor your spouse as you love yourself is an important inSight. You are equating pride with loving oneself, and loving oneself is necessary to love another. The church, on the other hand, equates pride with arrogance and conceit. Jonathan: Ah! .. . Now I understand why my folks cringe so much when I tell them how proud I am of them. They are good church people and they equate my pride in them with conceit, arrogance, and vanity when I am thinking in terms of respect, honor, worthiness, and esteem. I also understand my emptiness when they are unable to express their pride in me. Can we change that kind of thinking? Can we really reclaim pride and maintain theological integrity? David: I think so, although not everyone will agree. It will mean looking at things differently. When it comes to doing theology, I'm reminded of what our pastor said in her sermon on Sunday: "Thepurpose of David: Don'tbe so cynical. What the church might grasp and affirm is a new and profoundly biblical understanding of dignity, self-worth, self-respect, selfesteem -the more noble synonyms of pride. The church might modify its understanding of pride based on an understanding of a Word of God that is well known: Love your neighbor as yourself! Or in your words: One cannot love another unless one loves oneself. theology is to point out the pathway to God, rather than to be a barrier to others."3 When we look at pride from only one point of view, albeit biblical, we end up majoring in barriers and minoring in pathways. What you are suggesting, Jonathan, is a new way of thinking about "pride." And in so doing you are pointing out a pathway to God for a people who usually find those pathways filled with barriers. THE DIALOGUE: David and Jonathan explore meanings of pride. Jonathan: Well, I can tell -------------------you, it won't be easy. David: You're right! Reclaiming pride may be an impossible agenda for the church. What may be possible is to invite the people of God to explore a redefinition of pride. Perhaps people can interpret the symbol and gain new inSight. Jonathan: That's easier? David: I don't know, but you have pointed us in the right direction. First of all we have noted that in English as well as in the biblical languages pride has two very different meanings. The Bible chooses to use only one of the meanings directly. Theologically, the church has done the same. It seems not to fathom the higher, more noble meaning. That is especially true when it comes to "Gay Pride." Jonathan: Or gay anything. Jonathan: That's important not only for the church to grasp, but also for bisexual, lesbian, and gay people to grasp. What I find in our community is a 10 of shame, humiliation, guilt, self-contempt, feelings of inadequacy, a lack Of dignity . . . Pointing the Way David: That reminds me of Psalm What are human beings that you are min ful ofthem? Mortals that you carefor then Yet you have made them a little lower tha God and crowned them with glory an honor(Ps 8:4-5). No qualifiers here! The psalmist is speaking of all mortals, a. human beings! That includes us! Th15 is a profound Word of God that calls a . humankind to a new sense of dignity self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem. V";e are made in God's very own image,jus' a smidgen lower. Open Hands 6 Jonathan: Yea! God has made you and me exactly as God intended us to be. David: Yes, God made me a gay man. This Psalm calls me to delight in that knowledge, to rejoice in God's creation of me, to celebrate God. This kind of thinking can provide us with a sense of dignity, self-respect, and wholeness that celebrates God and that is so essential for our well-being, both physical and mental. Jonathan: This kind of thinking, however, is really difficult for many lesbigay people to hear. I know how difficult it was for me to accept my sexuality -and to accept that God created my sexuality. All my life I knew I was different. As I grew older I began to realize what that difference was. I heard the terms queer and faggot, and I knew they meant me. The message I heard the church telling me was those feelings were unnatural and to act on those feelings was sinful. However, I knew I could not change. I rayed God would remove those oughts and feelings from me, but the ore I prayed the stronger they became. Da\-id: God was probably telling you -~mething: My grace is sufficient for you. jonathan: Yes, but at the time I wasn't eHing that message. I felt ashamed. ore than that, I felt dirty, unclean, sino ...... and very lonely, separated from the people 1 loved (l couldn't tell them) and !"rom God (who knew my secret houghts). David: My experience was similar, and I suspect that is true of most gay, bisexual, and lesbian people who come from Christian homes and grow up in the Christian faith. One of two things happens: either we find ourselves deeper and deeper in the closet or we leave the church altogether. Jonathan: Or we take our own lives. David: That's why it's so important for the church to set a new agenda when it comes to pride, particularly "Lesbigay Pride." The church's agenda has to be that of finding a creative way of speak- Summer 1994 ing the Gospel to lesbigay people. We in the church must encourage people to discover who they are in God, to accept themselves as God has made them to be. We must encourage all of us to delight in God's wonderful diversity in creation, to rejoice in our sexuality, to express our sexuality responsibly, and to celebrate the gift that God gives to each one of us. Jonathan: Gift! David: Yes, gift! I believe our sexuality is a precious God-given gift. Whether homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual, our sexuality is a sacred trust from God to be used wisely and responSibly. Sexual bonding is the deepest and most intimate relationship that one can share with another. It is not dirty, unclean, or sinful. It is good, precious, and holy. It is not something to be talked about in secret or joked about in public, but revered and respected as the gift God has given it to be. Jonathan: Ifonly the Church could talk that way! What a difference that could make in the lives of a lot of people regardless of their sexual orientation. There's a wholeness in that language, a healing that we all need to hear ... David: We are all in desperate need of healing, including the church itself. As I said before, I'm not sure if the church is willing to reclaim or reinterpret pride -or even if it can. However, if the church is to survive the post-Christian era, I believe it has to change its approach. It must speak its message in a way the Gospel can be heard. Very few people are listening to the church anymore. For most, the church has lost its integrity. It has no authority. Many believe the church's message is irrelevant. Those more critical say the church is morally bankrupt . . . Jonathan: .. . and have left the institution to find their spirituality elsewhere. David: Yes, and so I want to raise a challenge to all of us still in the church: When it comes to "pride," dare to riskfor the Gospel. Reclaim the word pride, and ifnot the word itself, then at least reclaim its more noble synonyms: dignity, self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem. Reclaim them as avenues toward lOVing yourselves. Help your people, all your people, but especially your gay, lesbian, and bisexual people, to see ourselves as the special creation of God's own making. Bring healing to your people, and especially to us. Tear down the barriers erected by onesided interpretations of pride. Point us on the pathway to God . ... Notes lEd. Note: All biblical references are to the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) 2Ed . Note: However, see John Fortunato's article, p. 10 for discussion on indirect positive aspects of pride in the Bible. 3The Rev. Elaine Siemsen, Pastor of Berwyn United lutheran Church (ElCA) Berwyn, Illinois, The Holy Trinity, First Sunday after Pentecost, 1994. 7 By C. Martin Davis Saul on the road to Damascus had a blinding encounter with God that altered his life forever (Acts 9). What happened to him on that road was an experience of metanoia (f.!£'tUV01U). M etanoia is a Greek term t~at means repentance: seemg things in a new wa)~ returning, changing in thought or feeling. Because of the dramatic intervention of God in his life, Saul-who-became-Paul was compelled to see Jesus, the world, and himself in a new and different way. He repented. Repentance has been used very effectively to terrorize lesbian, bisexuaL and gay Christians. The church's call to them to repent has traditionally meant a denial of self, a demand for self-loathing, and a "return" to heterosexuality. This misuse of repentance m~st be reJected because it is an expfohatton of the concept of metanoia; it~ has lea denial of the God-initiated a~pect of repentance. Metanoia is our response, but it begins with God reaching out to us. It begins with a cail from a loving and reconciling God. We must reclaim concepts that have been held hostage by one segment of the Christian community. We are obligated to reclaim our Christian vocabulary, particularly when those words convey ideas about grace and love. We need to begin th~«'''> w"ork of freeing our faith ltil anguag~ "')f}!~abylOJ)ian captivity. ., w "",,iF(,;, Repentance is not the enemy! Repentance is not the enemy of gay men, lesbians, and bisexual persons. It is the sign of a loving encounter with a God who seeks reconciliation with every person. For lesbigay persons the metaphor of repentance as metanoia can be pivotal to developing a new vision of self, a new sense of pride. The idea of metanoia recognizes that all 8 humans live in need of constant returning to a more complete and life-giving relationship with God. In its fullest sense repentance is the active, ongoing, God-initiated work of seeing ourselves not as victims or abominations, but as beloved people created in God's image. Metanoia is the process of living and seeing in a new and different way. It is the life-long process of moving from rejection to acceptance, of trading selfloathing for self-esteem, of turning from death to face life. Metanoia/ repentance affirms our gifts and contributions. It rejects the old notl@rlS that homosexuals are outside the iiealm~pf God's grace,a.nd love. It ' means turning away from alife w~ich may be filled wi~~ self-condemnation, shame, secrecy, or the fear of hying life. completely. It may mean turning away ' from expressions of lesbigay sexuality which are life-destructive and life-denying toward expressions oflesbigay sexuality that are life-giving. It means the embracing of self-love and acceptance. It involves a turning around toward the affirmation of our createdness. It leads to a true and positive kind of self-esteem and pride. Repentance, renewal, growth, and pride are inseparable. As our vision is made new, so is our life made new, and thence comes true selfesteem and healthy pride. Repentance for the Marginalized If each person is called by God to turn and see things in a new way, then metanoia/ repentance is particularly apt for all those who have been demonized and marginalized throughout human history. Metanoia is a gloriOUS and life-giving metaphor for seeing a new life marked by the love of God. Metanoia :: our response to God's offer of a COIYplete life: we turn away from demo .. ized images that the church and th world offer us of ourselves; we turn l ward loving images of ourselves as h man beings created in God's image One key element in the concept r metanoia as I am using it deserves a ; nal emphasis. As a metaphor for t e Christian life, metanoia -repentance is not a repudiation ofself. It accepts an affirms that I am the person that Go designed Gust as Saul was the perso God designed). Saul changed his hatefuL hurtful attitudes, his persecuti _ actions, n ot his basic nature Th strength of repentance for lesbians an gay men is that it presumes a God-gi\'e sexuality.! The call to repentance bui upon that gift rather than seeking to char. ( it. In the Revelation to John, God sa: _ "1 am standing at the door, knockm (Rev 3:20). Repentance -metanOla is our response to God's request fa admission to our lives. It is never to late to reclaim, or even redeem, a bib leal concept that has been misused. For lesbians, bisexuals, and gay men lh issue is simply one of willingness. All . takes is a turning around! New life an true pride in self will follow! ~ C. Martin Davis, M.Div., is Vicar of St. Mary the Virgin Episcopal Church in Chattanooga, Tennessee. He alsoserves as Chaplain to the Diocesan Integlity Chapter~ Open Hands GIFT-ED BY PRIDE have frequently had occasion to be thankful for the gifts given to me by my gay and lesbian friends. Some of those gifts are the unique gifts of the individual, but some seem to arise because the person is gay or lesbian. Three of the latter that I can identify are acceptance, gender affirmation, and safety. Acceptance: Because they have had to come to a deep level of self-acceptance to be who they are in a heterosexual society, my gay and lesbian friends are able to be very accepting of me. I was having lunch with Ron and Ray, struggling to articulate some thoughts about the dynamicS of the church where 'e work and hold membership. I wasn't sure whether it was OK to voice what I really thought. "This is going to sound weird .. . " I said. "No," came the qUick reply. "Nothing sounds weird to us." I decided to go ahead and speak my mind. They didn't laugh and they didn't seem to think I was crazy. Ron and Ray probably don't remember that conversation, but I do. As a person who has often felt different for being "too smart" or "too assertive" or "too counterculture" -I find it notable when people accept me for who and what I am. I am grateful for the friends who can support and affirm me, my primary relationship, my parenting, and my work. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual folks have lots of experience with "not fitting in" to SOciety's mold. I imagine it is the process of coming out, of affirming the self in the face of familial, religious, and/or societal rejection, that has fostered the quality of acceptance toward others. I admire these men and women for somehow transforming their own pain and struggles into a gift for someone else. Summer 1994 By April Herron-Sweet Gender Affirmation: My gay/ lesbian friends help me celebrate "beingfemale" and "being male. " They remind me that couples aren't about "two halves making awhole" but about two completein-themselves individuals sharing their life journeys. While we attended the Pacific School of Religion, my husband and I lived in a seminary-owned apartment building. I remember describing to someone how I was frequently in and out of my next door neighbors' apartment and how we enjoyed each others' company. She also knew my neighbors, Dawn and Carla. "Oh!" she said, "Isn't all that womanspace wonderful!" I hadn't thought of it that way before, but she was right. In fact, we had a running joke that their apartment was so woman-oriented that the toilet seat would not stay propped up! Their apartment was a relaxing and affirming and fun place to spend time. In addition, Dawn and Carla were living examples that women could indeed fix cars, wear make-up, work, study, paint, write, cook, build shelves, make dolls, and train a cat to wear a leash! It is my impression that same-sex couples experience the same range of issues (money, time, communication, sex, in-laws, etc.)· that heterosexual couples do. It is also my observation that they can perform all the same functions and tasks of maintaining a household and a relationship. Finally, I observe that each couple, gay or non-gay, accomplishes this in their own unique way. Something about a woman committed to sharing her life with a woman speaks to me of the goodness of being female. Something about a man committed to sharing his life with a man speaks to me of the goodness of being male. "God created them male and female ... and it was very good." Safety: The safe space and nonthreatening physical affection offered to me by my lesbian and gayfriends have been instrumental in my healing and growth process. My friend Dwight and I always greet each other with a warm hug and a kiss. It is the same hug and kiss whether we are in the narthex after worship or in the privacy of one of our homes. This greeting is about good will and affection, not about sex. In a world where women's bodies are commonly used as a marketing tool, where pornography has confused sex with violence, and where even little children are not safe from adult sexual advances, it is restorative to be able to exchange signs of affection with friends and not worry that they will be interpreted as sexual advances. As I work toward becoming a whole and healthy human being, I have had much to learn about what it means to be "embodied." The gay and lesbian communities have been among my teachers. So, thank you friends, for learning to be comfortable with and to celebrate your identity. You have given me gifts of great value. T April Herron-Sweet is co-pastor, with her husband Andy, oj the PaciJic Beach United Methodist Church in San Diego, California. They have been subscribers to Open Hands since 1987. 9 ---- ------------ -------------------------------- -- --------------------------- ---- --------------- --------- ----- ----------------------- - -- --------- Christians have been taught for generations that pride is the "queen" of The Seven Deadly Sins. Sacred scripture describes pride as being arrogant or "puffed up." Pride leads to boasting, self-centeredness, vanity, haughtiness, snobbery, and smugness. All of these, we are warned, radically restrict our spiritual vista and thus separate us from God. The root of this theological conviction is the biblical admonition: To God be the glory. Homage for the goodness of creation -including the goodness of humankind -should ultimately be given, we are cautioned, to God and God alone. Pride as defined above is like the worship of idols. It diverts our rightful adoration of God to that which is not God (in this case, ourselves). Attempting to be like God, as the paradigmatic story of Adam and Eve was intended to teach, is humankind's undoing. Over the years this meaning of pride was extended in some Christian circles to include such behaviors and attitudes as rejoicing in a personal accomplishment, basking in a victory, or needing any affirmation or approval at all. Any excitement about one's achievements or one's self began to be defined as prideful. In these church traditions exemplary "Christian" behavior came to be viewed as utter self-effacement. This left the faithful with a radical (and destructive) dichotomy: all the goodness of creation was to be attributed to God; all the sin to us. This expanded concept of pride is a destructive perversion of the traditional Christian doctrine. Fostering basic pride is central to the spiritual upbuilding of God's people, especially those who are marginalized: in the case at hand, gay and lesbian people. This article explores a way to repair the damage that the exaggerated , negative concept of pride has wreaked on gay and -.. --.-..-----..-~---~ ~-..--..-----------------~---- ----------------- -------_.. ---------------------_....... ~~ ~ A Therapist's View By John E. Fortunato lesbian people as individuals and as a community. The work of Heinz Kohut, the father of self-psychology, is relied upon in part to remedy the bloated, negative notion of pride. l Self psychology (a branch of psychoanalytic psychology) focuses on the development and sustenance of a cohesive, robust, and vibrant self as central to psychological wellness. This makes room for in fact, requires -h ealthy pride. The Roots of Pride The etymology of the word pride is obscure, but it may be related to the words prize and praise. Whether or no· these words are connected historically however, they are linked functionallJ. One develops healthy pride by bein prized and praised. One develops a solid and vital self by being valued for who one is and by having one's accom· plishments lauded. In fact, praise is cru· cial for the development of a norma. healthy person. A small child sits on the floor dra\ . ing with crayons. She finishes, piCks herself up and, with artwork in han runs to her mother. "Mommy, momrr., look!" she shouts gleefully. No one . hope) would fault the mother for la .. ishing admiration on the child for he artistry. "Oh honey! that's a beautir .. tree. Are these apples?" "Yup." "Arl there's the sun!" "Yup." "Is this a b ~ up here?" "Uh-huh." "Listen," says mo "could you drav,l me a big bird now,j .: like this one only as big as the who paper?" "OK!" says the child excited. as she returns to her 'studio.' What has happened here? The ch' has "grown a bit of self." She got from the floor an artist with some se doubt as to her talent and skill; she s . down again with a more solid perce· tion of herself as "good at drawing.". it takes, of course, is several million these kinds of interactions in vario Open Hand_ 10 spheres of her life between her current age and eighteen for this little child to reach adulthood ready to greet the world ith her feet firmly planted and an opmism that she will be able to cope with 'hatever life dishes up. \Vhat Kohut helped us see is that we eed affirming, supportive "others" in ur lives from cradle to grave. His noon was in contrast to many other hools of psychology emerging in this entury. Others defined the ultimate boal of psychological development as self-sufficiency, independence, or aunomy' Kohut disagreed. We become and remain solid, integrated, dynamic eople, he observed, in interaction with ers. It is in such positively reinforc.nterchanges that we know our giftess, our wholeness, our aliveness. :here is, therefore, no need to apolo:..:e for needing affirmation at any age. 'ptural Antidotes one searches scripture u~ing words ke pride, proud, self-esteem, or self-pect, the references are uniformly eQatl\'e. "When pride comes, then comes 'b.-ace; but wisdom is with the humble" o\' 11:22). "Pride goes beJore destruc, and a haughty spirit beJore a JaIl " o\' 16:18). And in the words of the .~gnificat: "God has shown strength oj ~; God has scattered the proud in the 19hts oJtheirhearts" (Lk 1:51). These ect references to pride might lead and have led) to a wholesale condemanon of any kind of pride. On the other hand, if one searches ripture for positive images using '-rds like man (in its older generic sense), human, or humankind, a differem picture emerges. Ample antidotes eXIst in scripture to a toxic, overblown oncept of pride: "Let us make human1d in our image, according to our likecss . .. " (Gen 1:26). "When God created .lmlankind, he made them in the likeness if God. Male and female he created them, d he blessed them and named them 'huankind' when they were created" (Gen 5:2). "[ praise you, [0 Godl,for [ am Jearlly and wonderJully made" (Ps 139: 14). You have made them for a little while ower than the angels; you have crowned em with glory and honor subjecting all ings under their feet" (Heb 2:7-8). Summer 1994 What do these scriptures, and many more like them, demonstrate? These scriptures take for granted that children of God are entitled to experience a basic sense of worth simply because God created us. While we still are never to forget that all being ultimately derives from God's gracious creativity, we are fully within our human rights to bask in the gifts and graces God has given us as God's progeny. Just as a child gains a vicarious sense of self-esteem by acclaiming to peers, "My dad can do anything!" or "My mom is the most talented woman in the world!" so too can we without apology revel in the human dignity that comes of being birthed by God. "Our heavenly Papa (Abba) made everything there is!" "Hear, 0 Israel, Yahweh, our God is the only God!" Another implicit notion in the scriptures quoted above is the communal nature of basic human pride. It is as God's people -as the New Jerusalem that we gain human dignity. God calls us out as a community to be "a light to enlighten the nations." Adulthood Pride Defidency Gay and lesbian psychotherapists generally agree that the most common personality disorder seen among gay and lesbian clients is pathological narcissism. This is perhaps most succinctly characterized as a dysfunctional preoccupation with one's self and a marked oversensitivity to criticism or lack of affirmation. Some caricatures of gay people might help us grasp this: the flamboyant 'queen' obsessed with his appearance, who shrieks at the bathroom sink, "I can't do a thing with my hair!"; the prima donna actor who throws a fit when the director offers even a minuscule criticism of the thespian's perfonnance; or the wounded lover who wails aCCUSingly, "But if she loved me she would know what I need." Most stereotypes of gay men and lesbians are based on such extreme forms of behavior. As with most stereotypes, the cliche has some basis in reality. Though exhibited in many ways and levels of severity, some gay and lesbian people are plagued by disabling selfpreoccupation and the inability to tolerate even valid, gentle criticism. Most of the rest of us are at least fragile in this area. What does this mean? Well first, let's be clear about what it does not mean. Psychoanalytic therapists before the seventies routinely saw this elevated level of pathological narcissism in the gay community as evidence that homosexuality itself was a personality disorder. It never occurred What is a pride deficiency? Can the church help repair it? to them, because of the ingrained homophobia of the times, that they were fallaciously construing an effect of social oppression as a symp tom of innate mental dysfunction. To grasp the absurdity of their illogical inference, consider the follOWing. It might be shown that many Jews who survived Nazi Germany are overly watchful and fearful that others are spying on them or fomenting plots against them. Those behaviors might lead to a diagnosis of paranoid personality disorder. How would we view this? First, it is doubtful that anyone would blame such people for their paranoia . Considering what they went through, such fear and distrust would be easily appreciated and compassionately treated. But more to the point, would anyone then conclude that being Jewish was itself a personality disorder? In the same way, the higher incidence of narcissistic disorder in the gay and lesbian community in no way suggests that homosexuality itself is a mental disorder. We will also see shortly that it is quite understandable. The religious right is still fond of using narcissistic disorder among lesbian and gay people as evidence of the sickness and sinfulness of homosexuality. They often take this a step farther and contend that loving someone of the same sex is no more than a narcissistic attempt to love oneself. Only in a theoretical vacuum could such hare-brained psychologizing persist. Anyone who kn ows even a few gay and lesbian couples will attest to the high frequency more II." 11 with which we make utterly non-mirroring matches. Developmentally, pathological narcissism results when people have been deprived of adequate empathy, mirroring, and nurturing during formative periods oftheir lives. Persons who reach adulthood with depleted, fragmented selves are: (a) those who have been rejected outright by parents, other significant adults, and peers during childhood and adolescence; (b) those emotionally neglected or deprived of the attention all children deserve; (c) those who have experienced selective disapproval for some of their character traits and behaviors; and (d) those who have been chronically, naggingly, and pervasively criticized by parents and others. We do not feel we are created "a little lower than the angels". .. "crowned with glory and honor." It is not hard to see the implications of such developmental conditions for the lives of gay and lesbian people. Most of us who are gay and lesbian, have to invent ourselves from scratch in relation to our sexuality. Few if any of us grow up in an environment which actively supports and nurtures gay or lesbian sexuality. Furthermore, certain personality traits often associated with emerging homosexual orientation appear at a very early age. Boys are labeled as "sissies"; girls are tagged as "tomboys." When a girl wants to play baseball or a boy wants to sew, parents sometirp.es react negatively, either criticizing the child for these behaviors or simply (and often unconsciously) emotionally withdrawing from the child. Equally likely is the marginalization of such boys and girls by their peers. All of these common experiences of gay and lesbian people predispose us to disorders of the self later on. What is lacking during these crucial developmental years for gay and lesbian people is adequate praise. What emerging gay and lesbian children and adolescents end up yearning for is being prized simply for who we are in all of our differentness. In other words, we often reach adulthood with a serious pride deficiency. We lack pride that only could have been engendered through rich, satisfying relationships between us (in our particular wholeness) and significant adults and peers. In Christian language, many gay and lesbian people reach adulthood lacking a basic sense of human dignity that stems simply from being who God created us to be. We do not feel we are created "a little lower than the angels" or that we are "crowned with glory and honor." We do not begin our adult lives confident about our dignity as sons and daughters of Almighty God. Overcoming Pride Defidency W hen adult gay and lesbian people come to a therapist and the therapist assesses that what needs to be healed is narcissistic disorder, the clinician's job is clear. For a long initial period of the therapy -perhaps even years -the primary task is to create a rich empathic environment. This environment must ensure that the client feels attended to, has confidence that he is being taken seriously, experiences understanding of her perceptions of herself and her world, and senses that the therapist affirms him in whatever sectors of his self are frail and need to be supported in growth. Said another way, the therapist must, through prizing and praise, help the client develop a sense of pride in his or her new and more robust self, a self that fully integrates the client's sexual orientation. Does a person with pride defiCiency always need a therapist? Therapy is sometimes no more than a microcosm of life. It is, in part, a little pressure cooker in which clients can work through issues -a milieu in which they can grow psychologically and spiritually -more quickly and more intensely than they might do in the company of good, caring, and attentive friends and pastors. Often the support that is needed for such growth is inappropriate to ask of friends. Often issues or pieces of the person's history that need to be unpacked are too embarrassing for a client to share with companions. Sometimes, the sectors of the self clients seek to have healed, in their complexity or fragility, exceed the curath competence of good friends. Then J therapeutic relationship may be mor appropriate and helpful. However, ther· is much that a therapist does that ca be done by any supportive person in client's environment. It is unquestionably possible for an;one to be supportive of friends or p rishioners; to reassure them when the need to be reminded of their worth, ta'ents, and goodness; to praise the""' when their self-confidence flags or the engage in self-denigration so typical those with self deficits. No special tra., ing is required for such expressions friendship or pastoral care, If friends or parishioners are partlc larly needy on these fronts , it is of e tiring continually to shore them Because of adverse cultural conditic ing, we also have a tendency, when person seems to crave attention or a proval, to reactively withhold posi : reinforcement (e.g., "Listen to her, too ing her own horn!" "Fishing for a co"'" pliment?" "He constantly needs to stroked!"). But no one said being a g friend or a pastor was effortless. Jus a good mother lavishes praise 0 child's crayon drawings no matter h many of them are presented for a lades, anyone is capable of lifting u friend when she's down or tellin friend who's engaging in psycholog, self-abuse that he is wonderful -e" if this process needs to be repeated ten and over many years. Why the Public Displays? H eterose~u.al people, even ~elat gay-posltlve ones, sometlmes why gay and lesbian people need to a "Pride" event each year. We must tribute some of this discomfort with rand Lesbian Pride Week to remna of homophobia. Such skepticism ten a covert way of saying, "It's fine \I,~ ' me if you're gay or lesbian~ just do"'" remind me of it, OK?" We also ha . attribute some of this negativism a Pride Week to our cultural preju ' against even "good pride": "Greatl : glad you feel good about yourself a. lesbian, but do you need the w . world to jump up and down over : ~ The response to these plaints sh now be obvious. Gay and lesblaL Open Hands 12 ople, almost without exception, reach thood not having had adequately nned our sexuality as good, gifted, and a worthy expression of human nareo Instead, most of us reach the age :-majority with at least the sexual secof our selves fragile, segregated from e rest of our personalities, and in desate need of affirmation. This did not pen because of any intrinsic weakess in gay or lesbian people. It hapened because we are routinely de:ed of the rich empathic, supportive ationships and social structures afng sexual identity that are routinely rded heterosexual women and men. n order for these deficits to heal, gay lesbian people almost always need roceed through some remedial peof heightened self-affirmation and seeking of public affirmation of our al identity. For a while, this need . seem (by public standards) "excesbut is this any different from the sses adolescent heterosexual boys girls pass through during puberty -.... ey try to come to grips with their rn,ing sexual selves? The difference, rse, is that gay and lesbian people traverse this terrain late, and the tated behavior of this part of their "~ey sometimes seems "unbecomror adults. From a psychological of view, of course, a therapist re-when clients reach this developal stage, no matter what their age. .. _s and pastors might also rejoice. '~id being judgmental, it may help mnk of these endeavors as "remeride- building." •.•15 immoderate preoccupation with 5 sexuality, if adequately attended . therapist, pastors, and friends, ually diminishes. I can speak to --ersonally. At age twenty-five, I was dy in-your-face gay activist. At age "-seven, I believe I'm much more ow. As I frequently say these days en I speak publicly, "In my twenties ng the 1970s, proclaiming 'Gay is .' was required for political correct5S ~owin my late forties during the s, I would say this: some days, gay --reat; some days, gay is dreadful; and st days, it's just another one of those b S." Please do not conclude that I am lag all gay and lesbian activism as the excessive acting out of self-affirmation. However, the most effective lesbian and gay activists I have known are those who have worked through whatever blinding rage they had. They are free then to harness all their gifts and graces to help spread the part of the Good News illuminated by the lives of God's gay and lesbian children. Groups like Queer Nation and Act Up, I am convinced, induce much more reactionary backlash than empathy. While their confrontational tactics may be emotionally satisfying for them in the short run, I fail to see their usefulness in changing society's attitude toward gay and lesbian people. Our differences may lie in the reality that, as a Christian, I tend to approach these matters with the hope of reconciliation rather than victory. A Call to the Church G a~ and lesbian people often need copious amounts of remedial praise; they need to be prized for who they are in their wholeness. This can only be accomplished in meaningful, mutually affirming relationships with others. The Church is perhaps the most potent environment in which that can happen. God calls us to be "a people" "the New Jerusalem" -God's witnesses oflove in the world. Jesus' example and exhortations made clear that we are to exclude none from God's realm. Only through such unconditional affinnation can gay and lesbian people experience the healthy pride that is the rightful heritage of all of God's sons and daughters. T Notes lHeinz Kohut, The Restoration of the Self. (Madison, WI: International Universities Press, 1977). John E. Fortunato has been a Pastoral Psychologist and Spiritual Directorfor twentytwo years. He currently works as a Chaplain with the AIDS Pastoral Care Network of Chicago. He is the author of a number of articles and two books, Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians and AIDS: The Spiritual Dilemma. SIN AGAINST THE HOLY SPIRIT, GIVER OF ALL GOOD GIFTS -ORI WILL NOT BE DIS-GRACED Of all the gifts you have to give, o Holy spirit, you could have made a better choice for me. A proper gift-Wisdom to discern your mind, Insight to foretell your way, A body tuned to rhythms of the moon. But no, you chose to give me this, a gift so many say I ought to throwaway or bear as if it were a curse. If this one gift you choose to give, oHoly Spirit, I choose to take it now and serveNo better choice for me! The curse invoked by those who say we ought to throw your gifts away lies buried in their graves- But worse still if I should hoard my gift to Hell. Copyright 1993 by Harvey Manchester, Jr. Used with permission. Harvey Manchester, jr.,is a United Methodist from the Peninsula-Delaware Conference. This poem was written at the 1993 Reconciling Congregations Convocation. mer 1994 13 How much do you know about gay and lesbian history? Why should you know it? From one generation to another, lesbian and gay people have been isolated from one another, from those who are our people. This happens because we who are lesbian and gay find ourselves in each generation in the midst of families which are predominantly heterosexual and who either don't know gay history or won't pass it on to us as we are growing up. We remain isolated from one another and from the shared stories of how our elders and ancestors have survived. As I listen to the coming out discernment process of my gay brothers and lesbian sisters, and indeed, to my own story, I am aware that we as a tribe -as a people -have been erased throughout history. When I ask participants in anti-homophobia workshops about what they learned about gay and lesbian people when they were growing up, usually the group is silent or says "nothing." Yet, with some unpacking, each group becomes aware that while they learned nothing positive about gay Ilesbian history, leaders, or culture, they informally learned many myths and stereotypes about us. In this brief article, I want to explore with you two pieces of our history which help to reinforce the need for all of us to reclaim gay and lesbian history. We must do so ifwe are to reclaim our pride. Faggots The word "faggot" comes from the medieval times. It literally means a small bundle of sticks. These faggots, bundles of sticks, were affixed to the clothing of the women who were called witches and to the clothing of the men who loved other men. That is how they were torched and burned at the stake . Use of the put-down epithet "faggot" today implies that lesbian and gay people are nothing more than fod for fire. Disposable. Non-human. 1 In the late 1800s a German mar. the name of Magnus Hirschfeld es lished the Institute of Sexology in G many. The lists of people in this m ment were used for the destruction gay and lesbian people by the Nazi pc ers in World War II. One W.W.II e photograph many of us have seen history books shows a tower of bo . being burned by the Nazis. What '. seldom learned is that the mound books was from the library of the In . tute of Sexology. Pink Triangles The symbol of the pink triang e the one that gay and lesb people -my people -were forced wear as insignia in the Nazi dea camps. The pink triangle was simila!" the yellow star of David which Jews \ . forced to sew on their clothing. So . 250,000 and perhaps as many 500,000 gay people were put to dea in those Nazi camps, along with rna more Jews, many Gypsies, and m others.2 Today the lesbigay community reclaimed the pink triangle as a syrr: of solidarity' with our people throuo out time. We wear it to remind ourse. and others of what happened in .' holocaust so that such mass destr tion of our people, or any people, m never happen again. For me the saddest learning from period of our gay and lesbian histor;' that when the allied troops came to .. , lease the prisoners from the concent!" . tion camps at the end of World v.. ar those wearing pink triangles were co ' sidered criminals and were left incar, cerated.) Open Hands 14 hese pieces of history illustrate the importance of r-~·.t!ing and understanding Sbtan and gay history. It is imant not only for lesbigay ple, but also for non-gay ple to remember the op-~ ssion which has occurred -he past. Remembering our helps us to gain insights into e lesbigay community's culture ay The teaching of gay and leshistory should be included in the ational classes of welcoming conations in every denomination to break the cycle of oppression. Such ation needs to be repeated regu. so that new members and espe.,"our children learn about gay and an history. Historical background :'. essential tool for all who wish to d on the side of justice for lesbian gay people today in church and etr -, re Gordon, "What Do We Say When Hear 'Faggot'?" Interracial Books For ren Bulletin 14 (No. 3-4):25. 'Additional InJormation About the HoloI" a pamphlet distributed by Chai st:'les and the Detroit Area Gay-Lesbian cil. Also see Richard Cleaver and _~la Myers, eds., A Certain Terror: rosexism, Militarism, Violence & 1ge (Arm Arbor: American Friends SerCommittee, 1993). ard Plant, The Pink Triangle: The Nazi Against Homosex uals by (New York: ~:. Holt & Co., 1986). This article was Thanks to Presbyterians for adapted Jrom a presenLesbian and Gay Concerns and tation given at the 1992 Lindsay Biddle for the idea beLutheran Human Relations hind this sketch. The triangle with Association Summer Institute the Star of David/shoot of Jesse (Isa in Minneapolis at Augsburg Col11) and the one with prison stripes are lege. It was Jirst printed in Vansketched from a large banner used at a guard, Fall 1992. It is used with perworship service led by PLGC during Genmission oj Vanguard, Lutheran eral Assembly in 7993 in Orlando, Florida. Human Relations Association, 2703 N. Sherman Blvd., Milwaukee, WI 53210. Anita C. Hill is an openly lesbian woman serving as a Pastoral Minister of St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Church in St. Paul, Minnesota (the first Lutheran Reconciled in Christ congregation). She has been a member of the ELCA's Task Force on Human Sexuality since 1989. RIDE IS A FACE-LIFTING PROCESS ps respect is what gays and lesbians really seek -the unambiguous affirmation they need fear no longer. The Latin root of the word respect suggests that it is slght into the worth of another." But there is a far more moving word image in . Testament Greek. Respect is "prosopolepsia," a putting together of "proposon" e) and "lambanein" (to lift). The image is of a person whose face is bowed to the nd in humility being lifted by another in recognition and esteem. The scriptures Ke clear that God lifts all faces! Anonymous, adapted. ........mmer 1994 15 A glance at national"pride" events before and affer Stonewall Photo: Carlton Elliott Smith INCLUSIVITY: The Christian message is visible at the Stonewall 25 parade. 1979 1970 Sources: Warren J. Blumenfeld & Diane Raymond. Looking at Gayand Lesbian Life. Martin Duberman. Stonewall. Jonathan Katz. Gay American History. 1965 1969 The Stonewall Inn Resistance occurs on June 28th in New York City when patrons of the mafia-owned gay bar fight police who had routinely been raiding the bar. The Mattachine Society starts an event called "Annual Reminder" for gay and lesbian people in Philadelphia on July 4th. Wearing conventional clothing, participants engage in peaceful picketing at Independence Hall. Annual "Reminder Events" continue through 1969 The First Annual Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade is held onJune 28th in New York City to commemorate the Stonewall riots. This event replaces the Annual Reminder event in Philadelphia. Parallel Gay and Lesbian Pride Parades spring up across the country during the 1970s, usually held the last Sunday oj June to commemorate Stonewall. Open Hands 16 1994 1993 The Second National March on Washington on October 11th draws well over 500,000 people to the nation's capitol for pridefilled festivities and lobbying activities. October 11 th is established as Annual National Coming Out Day to commemorate the Second March on Washington and to encourage persons to take additional steps in coming out and claiming their lesbigay identity proudly. National Stonewall 25 Festivities are held in New York City during late June, culminating in a huge march onJune 26 that drew upwards of one million people. These festivities celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall The Third National March on Resistance, now considered the Washington on April 25 draws beginning of the modern lesalmost a million people to the bigay rights movement, or at least national capitol for another its transforming moment. round of pride-filled festivities and lobbying activities. Proud through the Years As a teenager and young adult, I attended Central Methodist Church in Phoenix, Arizona with Dr. Charles Kendall as my pastor and where I often heard the words of Bishop Gerald Kennedy. I was very proud to be a Methodist. I was proud of the faith stands and leadership these men took on social issues, such as racism, internment ofJapanese-Americans, American Indians, labor, etc. My heritage and experience as a United Methodist was faith in God, family involvement in the church, service, and social justice. During those years, I had no conscious knowledge that I am a lesbian. Discovering my sexual orientation at age fifty did not negate my United Methodist membership or my faith in God. Even though in 1972 some words got into the United Methodist Discipline that are wrong about homosexuality and that are painful to lesbians, gay men, and their families and friends, I am sure they will be changed -and I am still proud today to be a United Methodist. I am proud of the strong witness of Affirmation, United Methodists for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Concerns, and of the strong stance of each Reconciling Congregation. And I am proud of the commitment of Wesley UMC in Fresno who celebrated their tenth anniversary as a Reconciling Congregation by dedicating a stained glass window, and of the California-Nevada Annual Conference (a Reconciling Conference), and of Bishop Melvin Talbert who has made his feelings known publicly about homosexuality. Yes! Jeanne Barnett is Director of Administration for the CA-NV Annual Conference Capital Campaign, Co-Spokesperson for National Affirmation, CCOM Vice-Chair, District Lay Leader, and St. Marks' United Methodist (Sacramento) Administrative Board Chair. Jeanne was a member of the denominational Committee to Study Homosexuality. mer 1994 17 O nJune 26, an already luminous day in Manhattan was made even brighter by the mile-long rainbow flag, focal point of the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall rebellion. As wide as First Avenue itself, the enlarged symbol ofdiversity among lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, and transgender people glided down side streets, held taut by flagbearers in the midst ofcheering thousands. This year's Stonewall commemoration focused on human rights and lesbigay pride. Such serious events, as well as more carefree celebrations, offer churches a chance to be prophetic witnesses in the world, to stand in solidarity with their gay and lesbian members, and to affirm their hopes for the future. "It's the one time you can say 'pride' and it's not a deadly sin," said Richard Barrios, 39. For him an event like Stonewall 25 "celebrates equality and inclusion of all people." Barrios, a member of St. Paul and St. Andrew United Methodist Church in uptown Manhattan, was part of that congregation's contingent at the march. He and his fellow church members reflected on the significance ofpride in their lives as they assembled with other religious/ spiritual groups on East 39th Street before joining in on the parade. "Pride is linked to self-esteem being proud that God has made us who we are," said Francesca Rhys, 30. "What God created, God said was good," added Diane Allen, 35, "so we can really delight in the fact that God is proud of us." Even in the midst of the joy of being surrounded by tens of thousands of Stonewall 25: The Church Was There! By Carlton Elliott Smith andJesus' expelling the moneychangers fro . the temple. Like Gospel record ofJes the Stonewall patr were reacting in !" teous anger to injus Both Jesus and . Stonewallers were e' . tive in bringing an e to oppression. Perh most significantly, b PRIDE STRETCHED OUT: A mile-long banner is a highlight of Jesus and the Sto Stonewall 25. wallers created hea brothers, sisters, and friends no one seemed to have forgotten the obstacles to pride in their lives. For Bishop Otis Charles, who was the Episcopal Bishop of Utah before his retirement, support was hard to come by as a gay minister who felt compelled to stay closeted. "I knew there were other people like me," said Charles of his early days in ministry; "but there was always a subtle intimidation that you would be excluded if you ever came out, and I did see that happen." In a letter addressed to his fellow bishops last fall, Charles made his sexual orientation known. After living some forty-five years with an internalized sense that his life was inherently wrong, he realized that the "only way I can serve God is to be who I am." Gay pride events offer more than affirmation ofindividuals, however. They can also be seen as extensions of other important social issues on which the church has provided leadership, such as women's rights and civil rights. Stonewall, as it relates to ethnicity, is an important reminder of this fact. Little did the impoverished Latino and African Am erican youngsters at the bar know twenty-five years ago that their protest against police harassment would start a three-day riot and launch a movement that continues to reverberate around the globe. Some parallels exist between the Stonewall riots IN SOLIDARITY: An Open and Affirming congregation in New York joins in the Stonewall 25 parade. spaces for hurting people: Jesus thro the healing touch of his hands and e Stonewallers by providing the foundation for the precious liberties some lesbians and gay men have today. Not surprisingly; today those mos' at risk of being lost to violence and 0 neglect on the sexual-orientation frinbe are those who are additionaL, marginalized because of age, gender race, class, and other factors. The e negative effects are heightened \vhe placed in the context of those nation: where lesbians and gay men are less organized and less visible than in t! e United States. For this reason the organizers of Stonewall 25 chose to ha\'e e countless thousand participants mar . on the United Nations in a show of fo on behalf of their counterparts in 0 countries. Just as at Stonewall 25 U.s. les and gay men showed their so' with those in other countr e churches can show support of the. gay and lesbian members at gay events. Although heterosexual (as others at the parade), Dale Fische of Sayville Congregational C Church of Christ on Long Island . York, came to show his solidarity. his homosexual friends. "It's a hu a rights issue," said Fischer. "Whether ;'0 are gay or straight, black or white, bro \Tor red, the saying is true . . . Until everyone is free, no one is free." For some people a gay pride celebration is one of the few places where the) feel a sense of self-worth and security. Open Hands 18 GHLY VISIBLE: Gay and Lesbian church members marched e Stonewall 25 parade. Hip," an Atlanta resident who is date for ministry in the Lutheran n, chose to stay anonymous for at his career might be jeopardized .ng openly gay. Ironically, he rethe relative invisibility of lesbiand gay men. "A lot of middle"icans don't realize that there are a hurch people who are homosexue said. '0 days before the march to , ited Nations lesbian and ristians and their friends hands and tied a rainbowribbon around the InterCenter, protesting hy.sy and homophobia in '___"'H~:ne churches. Commonly the "God Box," the upper attan building is home to 'ational Council of Churchmany mainline Protestant inations. 'e are here to open people's "HANDS AROUND THE GOD·BOX": A demonstration led by MCC encircles the Interchurch Center. tional Council has taKen no action and denied it observer status. Even though her organization will not admit the Metropolitan Community Church as a member, the Rev. Joan Brown Campbell, executive secretary of the National Council of Churches, was among those who encircled the Interchurch Center as a sign of general support for lesbian and gays. "Our churches are very united on civil rights for gays and lesbians and there are places where we can be supportive," said Campbell. "We don't go as far as the MCC wants us to go but there is a fair distance that we can go and that needs to be made visible." -and hearts and let God -f the Box," the Rev. ge Cherry told the 200 people "ed at the west entrance of the ... g during a noontime demonstraubbed "Hands Around the God Cherry is the national Field Di!' of Ecumenical Witness and Minof the Universal Fellowship of politan Community Churches, .imarily gay and lesbian denomiwhich organized the demonstraMetropolitan Community rches, which claim 32,000 mem_ m sixteen countries, first applied .embership in the National Counrteen years ago. Since then, the Namer 1994 With the exception of the United Church of Christ the mainline denominations that maintain offices in the Interchurch Center ban lesbians and gay men from ordained ministry and officially prohibit same-sex commitment ceremonies -two of the issues most important to openly homosexual church members . Before wrapping the building with a protest ribbon lesbian and gay clergy from several churches recited a litany of complaints including denial of access, violence, and trauma visited on homosexual church members because of their sexual orientation. "This is not a civil rights struggle, it is a moral struggle," the Rev. Nancy Wilson of the Los Angeles Metropolitan Community Church told the assembly. Frances Allen, an employee of the United Methodist ecumenical office who watched at an entrance of the Interchurch Center, said she enjoyed the energy of the demonstration but would rather the churches continue their restrictions on the inclusion of homosexual persons. "1 think a line should be drawn," Allen said. "1 don't want the church to change." After the demonstration, some of the participants went to meet with officials of various denominations to discuss the concerns of lesbian and gay people. To luis Callabro, a visiting layman from Oregon who serves on the board of directors for the United Methodist ecumenical agency, such protests are painful but inevitable. "It has to continue to happen to bring attention to equality issues for all people," Callabro said. lesbians and gay pride events also point to a brighter future one in which men in Cuba are not jailed for being gay, lesbians in small-town Mississippi are not harassed by their neighbors, and sexual orientation is not a criteria for church membership, marriage, or ministry. As he marched across 59th Street toward Central Park for the culminating rally, Robert Gibeling, program executive for Lutherans Concerned (the tradition's gay/ lesbian caucus) shared his excitement for the promise that being proud holds for lesbians and gay men. "We have the wonderful message of God's love that needs to be told," said Gibeling. "We have to reinforce that."~ Photos: Carlton Elliott Smith Carlton Elliott Smith recently completed a one-year writing fellowship at Religious News Service in New York . A graduate of Howard University School ofDivinity, he is now serving on the board of directors for the AIDS National Interfaith Network. 19 THANK GOD fOR THE SPIRIT Of STONEWALL By Howard B.Warren, Jr. As we approached Stonewall 25 my spirit joyfully sang, "Come out, Come out as much as you can." W hat a difference these last twenty-five years have made in encouraging me to leave my casket/closet. I lived in New York in the late 1960s and early 1970s. I was more of a street person than a bar person and never had been inside the Stonewall Inn. Although the evening police raid and gay protest on June 28, 1969 did not make the news, a friend called me. The next morning I went to Sheridan Square and stood silent yet proud watching the crowd protest. From across the street I saw drag queens and Latinos dancing, shouting, and forming conga lines. However, the gay people I knew (the three-piece suit folks) weren't there. So I stayed lonely and mute across the street, yet filled with SILENT pride. Over the next five years I participated in the Gay Activist Alliance Firehouse dances, National Gay Task Force, Gay Academic Union, Lambda Legal Defense Fund, and Gay Support Group. For the first time in my life I put wallto-wall windows in my closet. My sense of gay pride was deepened by the emergence of the gay and lesbian press and the many organizations as we assertively spoke out and marched out. In my picture window closet, I developed deeper relationships with gay men rather than just anonymous sex. Despite the picture windows, however, I was still in a casket/closet. It took me nineteen years to gradually open that casket/closet door. For six years now I have been breathing the strong active spirit-air of open lesbian and gay pride. Reflections on Stonewall 25 My eyes filled with tears as I waited for the ten days of Stonewall 25. How wonderful it was to be able to be fully involved in all the events: marching, speaking, politicking, acting up. How exciting it was to be identifying fully with all of the subgroups that compose our Lavender People. My threepiece suit (rarely worn now) no longer separated me from the inclusive love I felt for all our wonderful spectrum of folks. As I sat at the Opening Ceremony of the Lesbian/ Gay Games, I was overwhelmed by the feelings of God's pride that so many of our people in this decade have the opportunity to hear, grow, meet together, and celebrate homosexual orientation as a gift of God to be fully lived. What tears of joy I found as I sometimes stood and sometimes marched for seven hours with the sign: God damn the Presbyterians and other denominations when they use the Bible as a weapon rather than a welcome to Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals."So many individuals smiled, said thank you, put a thumb up, gave the peace symbol or the sign language for peace. Whole groups stopped, broke ranks, and yelled thanks for a sign which says God welcomes them. How thankful I am to see this anniversary. We will walk tall with our heads held high making sure that there will never be a Stranger at the Gate -alone, afraid, wanting to be included. In this decade we will together build the Rainbow of Inclusion in our church bodies. Changes and Growth I have observed many changes over the years. One growth that has occurred in the twenty-five years since the Stonewall rebellion is that so many of us are now fully accepting of the wonderful diversity of the Lavender People. Also, no longer are lesbian women absent. In the early years, many lesbians who refused to let gay males treat them as heterosexual males treat them took their skills and talents elsewhere. Thank God neither the sexism nor the separatism is as true today. Photo: Matthew C. Kryger, Indianapolis S a' SPEAKI NG OUT: Howard joins the parade. Nudge The Spirit of Pride If you haven't begun the process of coming out, give yourself a nudge. Coming out is a process. Take the first small step or the next larger step. Spiri is breath -the basis of life. Our sexua: orientation is a key part of our spiritbreath and energy. As I look back over all that time spent in the closet, I realize how much energy it took to keep my secret -energy I now have available fo r a full life and for serving the Wildly Inclusive God! T Howard B. Warren, Jr. is an openly gay Presbyterian minister who currently serves as Director oJPastoral Care at TheDamien Center in Indianapolis, Indiana. Open Hands 20 IL~WIUIUI[) IVIl2IUr\\\IUlrlt§ §ltILlf,·lt§lrltltr\\\ By Lindsay Louise Biddle Can churches benefit from Hollywood's technique? \Oer since the issue of gays in the military marched to the forefront of our national consciousness the 1992 Presidential campaign, . ° e!111S "lesbian," "gay," and "homoa:-as well as "heterosexual" and ht" have found a home in our o-ay vocabulary. Suddenly house-that had earlier denied any knowlr understanding of gay or lesbian e felt permission to express their ons about men living together in quarters and women serving in :111. ..."'testant denominations that are .. ding their issues ofhomosexualder a bushel are engaged in siminversation. FolloWing in the ry's footsteps, several households h (ELCA, PCUSA, UCC, UMC, hers) are discussing homosexuthough their members are marcha legion of different drummers ding theology and polity. e other major u.s. household !-iollywood film industry -has . up the cross. They have included -e lesbigay roles and themes in -releases. (Transgender characters arred in dramas since the beginf time!) Although a variety of films e past decade focus directly on leslSsues, including AIDS, only in the couple of years has Hollywood ed angles to portray lesbigay indi15 and couples simply as some of -naracters in the huge and complex a of humanity. moving lesbigay characters out of ..melight where they served as dibjects of often "preachy" scripts, ors have ceased serving up les-lSsues as topics for debate. Instead, ~. subtle and very powerful ways, bays are accepted as part of life, at least during the viewing time of the audience. Some movie-goers might deny knowing any lesbigay people, but the makers of "Mrs. Doubifire" and "Reality Bites" don't waste time arguing their existence or defending their humanity. They simply include them and their stories, though stereotypical, in the larger plot -along with a daddy who dresses up like a nanny and a sordid mix of heterosexual alliances. . In "Mrs. Doubifire" the kids gasp with disbelief when their baby-sitter comes out as their father. Yet they don't bat an Films~ith Lesbig1~ Main Std'lfes "Making Love" (19~2) "Entre Nous" (1983) . "Desf?.Jt&:'Hf?art?" (J·,~~tP) 'longtime Compan1on""O 990 "Wedding Banquet:: (1993) "Philadelphia". (1993) Film's with Lesb!g~y Su~plot~: "Mrs. Doubtfire". (1).~~3) , mn "Four Weddings an'~ a Funeral" (1994) . "Reality Bites" (199.ft) 0, , "Belle Epoch" (199~,vSpanish ~ith English subtitl~s) "Renaissance' Man" (1994) eye when dad tells them he was assisted by " Uncle Jack and Aunt Frank," dad's gay brother and his partner who appear in supporting roles. "Reality Bites" also portrays a gay character in a supporting role. In that film the character Michael practices coming out to his parents and then offers a poignant reflection on the experience . If Hollywood with all its vested interest in box office successes can risk being more inclusive of lesbigay people so can the Church! Preachers and everyone else who "love to tell the story" can follow the cues of producers and directors: • Include lesbigay characters in biblical stories. One colleague substitutes a transgender person for the Good Samaritan in Luke's parable. • Highlight same-sex relationships in scripture. Wherever two or three of the same gender are gathered, we are called to conJront our heterosexism. . • Contrast lesbigay realities with biblical realities . Another colleague compares the anointing oj David -smallest, youngest, and most unlikely. choice -with the calling oj gay and lesbian Christians -who appear the most unlikely choices given our current practices oj discrimination. The simple acknowledgment of the existence oflesbigay people (which happened with the controversy over gays in the military) contributes to the development of lesbigay self-esteem. It's hard to have self-esteem when you are invisible. Study and debate about homosexuality within the various denominations contribute even more to the development of lesbigay pride. At least the church is taking it seriously. However, matter-of-fact inclusion as part of daily life -in films and in church provides ultimate affirmation! • Lindsay Louise Biddle, M.Div., is a member oj PLGC and serves as pastor of a Presbyterian church in St. Paul, Minnesota. .' .rner 1994 21 COMING OUT: A Witness to the Resurrection A Ritual by Chris Glaser [The communion table holds a 10aJ oj bread, covered by or tied in a strip oj cloth, surrounded by stones.] Leader: There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Sovereign, one faith, one baptism, one God and Creator of all, who is above all and through all and in all. (Eph 4:4) People: God inspirits every soul, regardless of sexual orientation. God welcomes every body, though we may hide our nakedness. God hopes in every love, without partiality. Leader: According to the Gospel of John, Jesus was greatly disturbed in spirit to find his friend Lazarus dead and entombed. Christ called on faithful family members Mary and Martha as well as on caring neighbors to roll the stone from the tomb and unbind the death cloths. Christ prayed to God and called to Lazarus, "Come out!" Uohn 11:1-44) Are you, family and neighbors, willing to remove the stone of prejudice that separates N. from full communion with the Body of Christ and with you? People: We are. Leader: Are you, family and neighbors, willing to undo the bonds that inhibit K. from the full, abundant life promised each one of us? People: We are. Leader: Are you, N., willing to renounce death in all of its forms, especially the closet that hides your light and your life? N. lam. Leader: Are you, N ., willing to choose life, love, and liberation as a (lesbian/ga . bisexual) Christian? N. lam. Leader: Let us pray! People: Sacred God, bless N. and bless us all as we struggle with the stones of prejudice and the bonds of death. Lead us to choose life and enjoy love and liberate the oppressed in your name. Amen. Leader: "Take away the stones." [Selected church members, Jamily members andJriends remove stonesJrom the communion table, revealing a 10aJ oj bread, covered by a strip oj cloth.] Open Hands 22 .~.~~.~.~.~.~.~ Leader: "Unbind N., and let (her/him) go." [A pre-selected participant (lover, family member, friend) removes the cloth from the bread and tears it in two, from top to bottom. Alternatively, the cloth could simply be unfolded or untied from the bread.} Leader: Our risen Sovereign became known to the disciples on the road to Emmaus in the breaking of bread, a sacrament of God's offering of self. In like manner, our risen friend, N., becomes known to us in (her/his) own sacramental offering of (herself/himself), symbolized by this bread. [N. breaks the bread, passing it to those gathered, saying:] N. I offer you the gift of myself. [After all have eaten] Leader: As Ruth pledged to Naomi, let us pledge to N.: People: We will never abandon you! Where you go, we will be there; What is life to you will be vital for us. Your people will be our own, and your God will be our God. (Ruth 1:16, adapted) Leader: So then, N., you are no longer a stranger or an alien, but you are a citizen with the saints and also a member of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone. (Eph 2:19, adapted) N.: Thanks be to God! Leader: We are chosen, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people, in order that we may proclaim the mighty acts of God who called us out of shadows into God's marvelous light: People: Once we were not a people, but now we are God's people; once we had not received mercy, but now we have received grace. (1 Pet 2:9-10, adapted) Concluding Hymn: "Amazing Grace" [Please substitute "soul" for "wretclf] Copyright 1994 by Chris R. Glaser. Permission with credit granted for non-profit use 1~e blends elements from ancient sacraments: Baptism (renunciation of evil, affirmations r call as a people and of our communal integrity) and Communion (distribution of in worship and/or non-profit duplication. symbolic of sharing the self, which is what God did in Chris·t). I view coming out a~ a ental act, in which God is present in our vulnerability and by which we are "made new" Chris Glaser, M.Div., is the author oj .::ens of God's commonwealth. The subtitle "A Witness to the Resurrection" is used in Coming Out to God and a speaker and e traditions for funerals. It suggests both the grief and joy of coming out. Finally, Ruth's workshop/retreat leader. His latest book, --Naomi alludes to the celebration of marriage and same-sex unions. Wherever "N." TheWord Is Out -The Bible Reclaimed . insert the name or names of the person( s) coming out. Biblical references are from the for Lesbians and Gay Men, will be pub. Thanks to Woody Carey for suggesting the Emmaus image. -CRG lished this summer (see ad, p. 31). mer 1994 23 Let us celebrate those whose lives we reclaim as we seek to create a new humanity. 10: We celebrate Eleanor Roosevelt, freedom and independence for eve women and who set an example one's own terms. People: In pride we claim you! Be Reader 11 : We celebrate Henry Hay, who a~\j'O",HI"'lI port to gay men through the M the late 1940s. Reader 12: We celebrate Del Martin and Phyllis LVUlf WV1mU!)t! visibility and organizing in the 1950s gave many lesbians. rate Michelangelo, whose artistry touched of humankind. Reader 13: We celebrate Bayard Rustin, close associate Gertrude Stein, who influenced genwriters and artists. tin Luther King, Jr., who helped plan Rights March on Washington. Reader 14: We celebrate Harvey Milk, who political office in the 1970s to serve their communities. The congregation is invited to of important people in their own gation will respond after each Note: Assign each reading to a different participant scattered throughout the congregation. The congregation remains seated. As each reader's turn arrives, s/he stands in place to read his/her line and then sits down again. This litany is adapted from an informal, interdenominational service sponsored by Grant Park-Aldersgate United Methodist Church (a Reconciling Congregation in Atlanta, Georgia). It may be reproduced for worship purposes. The service was held at 9:30 a.m. before the start of the Atlanta Pride Parade on June 27, 7993. The service also included a naming of destructive forces in our lives. It received an incredible response and was repeated in 7994, this time co-sponsored by Common Ground with an offering going to that Network and to the national Reconciling Congregation Program. Open Hands 24 west coast east By Carlton Elliott Smith i wanted him to say afterward words of comfort i walked out into the mist words that would assure me under the limbs of barren trees that there would always be under the skies of endless grey and i searched for shelter in the body yet in that moment i knew room for me surely in his wisdom that no locked shell from our motherland held the pearl there would be some black pearl the promise he would release of a place from a tightly closed shell where all that i love about me that i could hold on to forever and all that god made me to be would be seen as a blessing and not a curseand each time the powers and principalities of this world walking along the shore scrutinized and denied where my streams of thought my experience of god flow into the sea i could take out my black pearl i found a shell a gift from our ancestors somewhere between my heart spoken in some ancient tongue and my soul it looked like the face of my mother their voices would speak glowing whenever i go back home among the people it tasted like a lover's kiss my people breaking through my solitude its scent was that of a dying friend but my brother held close in my arms the scholar the theologian when i held the shell to my ear it sounded like from the west coast east of the atlantic laughter said and tears those whose behavior and daybreak is unacceptable a voice inside me will be put outside of the community saying this is our custom you are a part of me you will always belong t 1993 by Carlton Elliott.?mith. Used with permission. mpleteqf~f~~"e_y,~ar writing fellowship at Religious duate qf Howar?Ji,University School ofDivinity, he ctQt~ for the AIDS National Interfaith Network. ,./<:., tt-''\<::.:" Summer 1994 25 On ride What does power over others have to do with pride? W riters in this issue of Open Hands have expertly explored the biblical concept of pride as a sin. They have shown how tradition has watered down the idea of pride and generalized it so that pride as a sin seems to be applied indiscriminately. They have also noted how the efforts of oppressed peoples toward self-esteem and equality are often characterized as uppity, haughty, and narcissistic; in other words, as sinful pride. I want to explore another issue. A Formula for Disaster Pride in the form of arrogance, self-righteousness, vanity, and self-aggrandizement always seems to emerge in situations where power over others exists. Wherever people act with power over -as judge, ruler, authoritarian leader, or boss -sinful pride is apt to rear its ugly head. Those with power demand that those "beneath" them (literally or symbolically) demonstrate humility, meekness, and obedience to the powerful one's Wherever people abuse their power over others sinful pride has reared its ugly head point of view. Demonstrations of positive pride in the form of assertiveness, creativeness, inventiveness, and self-esteem are usually crushed out rather systematically by the ones who have power over others. Those who are "beneath" are left even more marginalized and demeaned. First, let's look at two examples of how this power and pride formula works in relation to gays and lesbians in the church. A heterosexually oriented local church, absolutely certain that it is right, arrogantly and self-righteously accuses lesbigays of being self-centered, sex-crazed, and godless. It demands repentance, humility, and obedience to the heterosexual point of view as a condition for full participation in God's church. A majority group of national denominational assembly members, proclaiming themselves to have the right interpretation of a few isolated biblical passages about homosexuality, enact legislation that demeans, defrocks, and marginalizes a whole group of their own people. Or look at what has happened with the Reimagining Conference. A powerful conservative church group that crosses denominational lines, certain that its long male-oriented tradition is right, chastises women (and some men) who dare to do theology in ways that lift up the feminine aspects of the divine. This conservative group calls for dismissals of staff and other retributions against denominational leaders. It levels charges of paganism, demands that "orthodox" doctrines be upheld, and requires errant leaders to offer admissions of wrong-doing. The arrogant pride of this group took the form of believing, at least momentarily, that they alone knew the nature of the divine. God will lay low the insolence of the powerful We could carry the examples on and on: the majority party in Congress over the minority party, the hierarchical employer and employee relationship, the authoritarian parent-child relationship or teacher-student relationship, the traditional heterosexual husband and wife relationship ... The more powerful one in each unequal pair will be tempted at some point in time to wield power over the less powerful one -and that temptation will most likely be fueled by an arrogance or insolence or self-righteousness that says "I am better, I know more, and I have the right answers; you are inferior, ignorant, and wrong; therefore you do as 1 say." Three Prophets: Three Words Isaiah has a message for those in power over the marginalized: "[God] will put an end to the pride of the arrogant, and lay low the insolence of tyrants" (Isa 13:11 b). The prophetic message from Isaiah and others seems clear. We are to forgo our arrogant and grandiose ways of thinking that we have the final word. We are to desist in our selfrighteous superiority. We are to take a look at the way we are misusing power and notice how it emerges out of our misplaced pride. What else do the prophets have to say about power and pride? Micah offers us a positive formula for power and pride: What does God require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Mic 6:8). And what does it mean to walk humbly with our God? Jesus, quoting the Hebrew law, has the last word: You shall love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself (Lk 10:27-28). Sort of brings the "bite" back into the biblical word on pride, doesn't it? Open Hands 26 ~~mments &Letters Pride Singing is a Great Source of Pride . : commitment to singing with the Gay Men's Chorus of Angeles for the past twelve years has been a tremendously 'ual and empowering experience. The quality and sound r music is a great source of pride for me as a gay man, for the gay and lesbian community in general. As a memf GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association) Choruses which a global membership of 125 choruses, we have sung in :: premier halls throughout the nation, including the Dor. Chandler Pavilion at the Los Angeles Music Center and ....incoln Center in New York City. We will sing at Carnegie this summer. Two years ago we traveled to Europe where . . ad concerts in Copenhagen, Denmark, Berlin, Germany, ..,ue, Czechoslovakia, Budapest, Hungary, and Vienna, AusThrough music we are able to tear down walls of hostility 'een non-gay and gay communities and to build bridges 'e and understanding. .4.. Burnett, Jr., Los Angeles, CA xual Pride Pride" has a questionable history in Christian theology, re it was classed among the "seven Deadly Sins." To this !""espond in the spirit of "The first shall be last and the last be first" that pride is a virtuefor those who don't have enough nd a vice for those who have too much. An understanding arginalized groups in the church should recognize that ....e and self-understanding have often been systematically .:ed to members of those groups. lSexual Pride, in my view, isn't an assertion of some sort auvinistic superiority at anyone else's expense. Rather it all for an appreciation of bisexuals' particular place in ,.. common humanity. Bisexual Pride is telling the world our erience as bisexuals without the excuses or apologies. We -. in relationship to our communities. While self-esteem s within, it is also ofvital importance to our well-being for .. of us to belong to a community that understands us as are. rrt Lunde, Evanston, IL .de is a Very Personal Thing ..1y story begins nearly four years ago when I met my lifertner Peggy. At the time, I was a member of a church in the rthwestern suburbs of Chicago that was not Reconciled in rist. Because both Peggy and I had deep roots in organized religion we were determined to keep Christ at the root of our life together. As our relationship blossomed, we wanted a Blessed Union, but it became apparent that would not happen at my home church. Then we found Holy Trinity in Chicago, whose pastor welcomed us. On September 7, 1991 we celebrated our Union. After coming out more publicly to my home church and struggling for a while with them, I finally, with a great deal of gut-wrenching wavering, made the decision to join Holy Trinity. It was difficult at best since I had put in nearly eight years of service to my home congregation in Elk Grove. However, change is good and the bonus was that Peggy also jOined Holy Trinity. How can any church, Lutheran or otherwise, deny any person the right to be an active and contributing member of the church? There are nine million unchurched people in the U.S. How many of those are within our lesbigay community, who would love to be active members, who have time, talents, and treasures to offer? Are we not all God's children with the right to be welcomed with the same respect and love that Jesus taught? The Lutheran Church cannot "reclaim pride" until it has genUinely committed to putting down a solid foundation on which to build a church that is totally reconciled in Christ. It takes one brick at a time, with each brick being put in place by people from our lesbigay community as well as by bishops, leaders, and other members of individual parishes . Tina Toth, Chicago IL About the Right Your Fall 1993 issue on "Responding to the Right: Strategies for Change" was excellent. I particularly appreciated the article by Virginia Ramey Mollenkott on "Confronting Fundamentalism." My sister is a born-again Christian and I have had numerous difficulties trying to communicate with her because of our differences in biblical interpretation. Mollenkott gave some wonderful suggestions on how I might engage in a religious conversation with my sister. Please enter my subscription to Open Hands. M. Susan Harlow, Chicago, IL About Celebrating the Inclusive God Thanks for your complimentary copy and letter regarding my article on worshipping in a welcoming congregation (Winter 1994). I wanted to let you know that I took time to read the issue in detail and in depth for all the aspects that I could see involved in putting Open Hands together . . . I also found that the articles, tips, and helpful liturgy moved smoothly and supplemented and complimented each other. I shared this issue with some people who have been away from the Church for a while now. The feedback I received was that it made them think and reconsider some of the possibilities with the Church again. This issue seems to have been tenderly and conSciously written to those that would view not only this issue but the Church for the first time or for the first time after being away for a while. Thanks for all this work. Paul E. Santillan, Chicago, IL -mmer 1994 27 COMING OUT Borhek, Mary V Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and their Parents. Revised and updated. Cleveland: The Pilgrim Press, 1993. Reflects a decade of updated research and activism by this mother of a gay son. Cherry, Kittredge and Zalmon Sherwood. Equal Rites: Lesbian and Gay Worship, Ceremonies and Celebrations. Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, due January 1995. Will include a section on coming out. Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay Men, Their Families and Friends. Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1991. Includes a variety of corporate and individual prayers useful in coming out liturgies and other lesbian/ gay-positive worship. Herdt, Gilbert and Andrew Boxer. Children of Horizons: How Gay and Lesbian Teens are Leading a New Way Out of the Closet. Boston: Beacon Press, 1993. Report of two years of study of the gay and lesbian teen support group at Horizon, a lesbian/ gay social service agency in Chicago. Singer, Bennett L., ed. Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian: A Literary Anthology. New York: New Press, 1994. Offers lesbian and gay youth a collection of fifty "coming of age" stories, pairing selections by teenagers with excerpts from older writers' fiction and autobiographies. Stuart, Elizabeth. "A Celebration oj Coming Out," in Daring to Speak Love's Name. London: Hamish Hamilton, 1992. Includes commentary, liturgical elements, and readings for coming out ceremonies. HISTORY OF A MOVEMENT Blumenfeld, \Varren J. and Diane Raymond. Looking at Gay and Lesbian Life. Updated and expanded. Boston: Beacon Press, 1993. Provides a good overview of various aspects of gay and lesbian life, including an informative section on "History of Lesbian and Gay Movement Politics." Duberman, Martin. Stonewall. New York: Dutton, 1993. Tells the story of the birth of the gay movment through the lives of six people (Yvonne Flowers, Jim Fouratt, Foster Gunnison, KarlaJay, Sylvia Rivera, Craig Rodwell). The story begins with their early lives, before 1969, and follows them through Stonewall and post-Stonewall events. A fast-paced history that reads like a novel! Frye, Marilyn. "Lesbian Feminism and the Gay Rights Movement: Another View oj Male Supremacy, Another Separatism" in The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory. Trumansburg, NY: The Crossing Press, 1983. Reprinted in A Certain Terror. (see below). Explores an assumption that gay and lesbian aims and interests are always the same and looks at how gay male politics and movement work has often been built in a way that prevents lesbians from joining in fully. Cleaver, Richard and Patricia Myers, eds. A Certain Terror: Heterosexism, Militarism, Violence & Change. Chicago: Great Lakes American Friends Service Committee, 1993. See especially articles by Harry Hay, founder of Mattachine Society who is often noted as the founder of modern gay movement; bell hooks; and Richard Cleaver. Katz, Jonathan. Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the U.S.A. New York: Thomas Y. Crowell, 1976. A pioneering volume that brought together historical documents of gay and lesbian life, including related heterosexual material, from 1566 to 1974. A must for anyone seriously interested in knowing original sources and passing on gay and lesbian history. Plant, Richard. The Pink Triangle: The Nazi War Against Homosexuals. New York: Henry Holt &: Co., 1986. Story of the oppression of gays by Nazis in World War II. Stonewall-25. Uncommon Heroes. 1994. A tribute to bi, gay, and lesbian contemporary role models produced by the Stonewall-25 organization, this photo-essay honors religious and political leaders as well as artists, entertainers, teachers, etc. SPIRITUALITY, SELF-ESTEEM AND PRIDE Balka, Christie and Andy Rose, eds. Twice Blessed: On Being Lesbian or Gay andJewish. Boston:Beacon Press, 1991. Includes essays from a variety of perspectives on being Jewish and lesbian or gay. Fortunato, John. Embracing the Exile: HealingJourneys of Gay Christians. San Francisco: Harper &: Row, 1985. An exploration of spiritual formation, psychotherapy, and the image of exile as possibly the place where true life may be found . Glaser, Chris. Come Home! Reclaiming Spirituality and Community as Gay Men and Lesbians. San Francisco: Harper &: Row, 1990. Offers an invitation to lesbians and gay men to come home to their spirituality through Christian faith and community. See also his new book The Word is Out! The Bible Reclaimed for Lesbians and Gay Men. HarperSanFrancisco, 1994. (See ad, p. 31.) Open Hands 28 ome New Churches :elcome to these churches which have become part of our -s roots movement in recent months. ~T.T.T~ "T"T"T~ OPEN -a-L AffiRMING ~ COMOREOAnOM • ....".. ~T.T.T~ "T"T"T~ OPEN AND AFFIRMING hwood United Church of Christ veland, Ohio Archwood's 175th anniversary year is a time of growth and _~alization for this 160-member "inclusive community for m inner city Cleveland. Determined to meet the needs of city, the congregation recently placed its pastor, David Bahr, -he open-air steeple of the church. He was not to leave until front steps of the church were covered with food for the edy. Twenty-two hours later, there was $4,000 worth of food David was a free man! Church members baked 300 cook-·or Gay Pride Day and the church hosts meetings of a gay / ian political action group and square dancers. In the fall, " plan a special study series on feminine images of God in Bible. lIadvale UnitedChurch ,ver, Massachusetts ~e listing under Reconciling. t Church Congregational eld, Connecticut This suburban church of 900 members continues a long of social activism. A founding member of Operation Hope ,.,ch provides shelter and hOUSing services), First Church sa sponsors refugee families and was one of the first groups -he community to offer AIDS education. Members will soon deciding whether to embark on their largest capital camIgn ever! Old South Church ston, Massachusetts A church at one of the busiest downtown crossroads in oston, Old South is celebrating 325 years of ministry (1669994!). Its autumn "Heritage Year 325" programs will include a series of celebration concerts and guest speakers. Elizabeth Nordbeck, Peter Gomes, and Andrew Young are among those scheduled. As part of its long tradition of social gospel and action, the church offers a gay/lesbian fellowship group, an HIV / AIDS prayer group, and an AIDS outreach ministry proViding meals, transportation and other services for persons with AIDS in the Boston area. PilgrimsUnited Church Maple Grove, Minnesota A "real sense of social justice" is the moving force of this 130-member church outside Minneapolis. Having met for a number of years in a shopping center, the congregation is excited about its recent acquisition of a building which will provide new stability for the church and serve as "an instrument for ministry" in the area. Pilgrims continues to explore ways to increase its ONA awareness and outreach. PlymouthCongregational Des Moines, Iowa Situated in an older residential area of the city, this 3160member church is known for its liberal social stances and very active music and social action programs. The congregation is involved in resettling three Bosnian families, developing new directions for adult ministries, and getting to know its new senior minister. Plymouth's ONA commitment finds expression in a support group for gay and lesbian people and another for their spouses. The church also hosts an area Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gay (PFLAG) meeting. United Church of Jaffrey Jaffrey, New Hampshire Strong community outreach and dynamic leadership characterize United Church. Located "downtown in a small town," this church of 150 members has the motto of"Always for Others." They live this out through their food bank, emergency shelter, and numerous other ministries to the community. United is the second New Hampshire congregation to become ONA. Slightly more than 2 percent of the approXimately 6,200 congregations of the United Church of Christ are now Open and Affirming (aNA). This is more than double the number in 1991. The Un ited Church Coalition has set a goal of 150 aNA churches by the summer of 1995. With 136 currently listed, we're well on our way! ONA National Conference }B~;,. ' ~~< . • '~W*R:~:;: " , . '~0:: Planning continues fQ~:;"~athereGl in Spirit,{Gaining in Stren~th!;' the first n~tio~ti~e exult~i<Anb(;\Open and" Affirming (0NA}ei:mfches and friends~.$cheduledfor 1995. Th~,:~vent will celebra\i,*.~~rt years of ONAi~<;tivity in the UGtS and look~~~ad·'to'l~e promi~~t~lld chalienge of expanding this wdcbme into a new d~cade and C~iji tury. The ONl}(\dvisory CommiH~~ i~, meeting this sum.. mer for furth~r' planning ,~~f9ut the local "f1ndmlii;?rogram. Watch f,or more details. gt;: <*' " Summer 1994 29 Calvary Lutheran Church Columbus, Ohio Calvary's RIC process started when their pastor Brad Schmeling came out to the congregation. In the ensuing discussions, the congregation found they had to decide what kind of place they wanted to be. The outcome was a declaration of support for their pastor, an Affirmation of Welcome to all people, the departure of a small part of the members and, over the last few months, the addition of as many more new members. In an area of the country dense with Lutheran congregations, Pastor Schmeling's coming out has given the congregation a focus -they want to be the welcoming place for all those who have not felt included by mainstream churches. St. John-St. Matthew-Emmanuel Lutheran Church Brooklyn, New York A fairly traditional congregation, the members of St. JohnSt. Matthew-Emmanuel often talk about the need to reach out to its very diverse neighborhood. After a several-year process of study and reflection initiated by their former pastor and carried onward by the Social Ministry Committee, the congregation made the Affirmation of Welcome a way to reach out to the lesbian and gay community in their neighborhood. St. Paul Lutheran Church Washington, D.C. While there is no recognized lesbian or gay "presence" in this large congregation, St. Paul's members felt a need to make the Affirmation of Welcome as part of their desire to become more inclusive. Pastor Tom Omholt says that the prayerful, sensitive, articulate ways the members communicated during their study made the process a wonderful, moving experience. Through all the discussion of sexuality and theology, their focus was on "What would the Gospel have us do 7" Ballardvale United Church Andover, Massachusetts This congregation of 300 members, north of Boston, was united thirty-five years ago as a United Methodist and United Church of Christ congregation. Their experience of "learning to live with differences" has been the foundation of the church since that time. The congregation has a strong tradition of outreach and social justice, most recently taking the form of a "shalom project" locally in partnership with a local elementary /middle school. The process to become both Reconciling and Open and Affirming began with a study four years ago and continued with the formation of a spirituality support group for gay and lesbian persons and their families and friends . First UnitedMethodist Church San Rafael, California First UMC is the oldest Protestant congregation in Marin County (north of San Francisco). Its 120 members continue to be on the cutting edge of Christian social witness -they housed the first local homeless shelter and provide a food bank. A luncheon for persons who are Sight-impaired is offered once a month. The congregation withdrew support and meeting space for a Boy Scouts troop because of the Scouts' antigay policies. The congregation has functioned as a "reconciling" church for many years and is now making it official. Firstand Summerfield United Methodist Church New Haven, Connecticut First and Summerfield, adjoining the Yale University campus, has a history dating back to 1789. The current congregation was created by the merger of two congregations -one predominately black and the other white -in 1981. The congregation is proud of its tradition of being inclusive racially, culturally, and economically. It has hosted and supported an emerging Metropolitan Community Call for Articles for the Winter 1995 Issue REFLECTIONS ON THE WELCOMING MOVEMENT What kinds of growth have you seen? What are the challenges before us now? What are your visions for the movement? Recent changes in acceptance from church structures? How is the mainline press treating us? We are looking for a variety of reflections on the "state of the movement. " DEADLINE: October 1, 1994 Write or fax Editor· Open Hands · 3801 N. Keeler· Chicago, IL 60641 Fax: 312/736-5475 Church and now a Korean congregation. The congregation has rebounded from a major fire in the building in 1987 with a strong vision of hope and possibility for ministry. Open Hands 30 Celebrating the Life of ~Jay McCarty 1945-1994 .--, Several hundred persons filled the sanctuary of Trinity UMC .:1 Kansas City on July 6 for "A Service of Joy and Thanksgiv:lg for the Life of James Jay' McCarty," a long-time Reconcil.ng Congregation activist and board member. The celebration ;-ecognized Jay as a "lover of tradition and challenger of con·ention." Stories reminded friends and family of Jay's witty, -elf-deprecating humor; his impeccable dress; his love of fine :-estaurants and travel; his compassion for others; and his re:usal to let the church he loved be any less than what he envislOned it called to be. Jay's exuberant love of life, bawdy storytelling, and strong sense of Christian responsibility 'ouched many lives. We thank God for the unique and nrepeatable gift of Jay McCarty. ~ Jay's partner, Dale Allen, has requested that memorial gifts e sent to a local AIDS hospice: SAVE, Inc., P.O. Box 4530l, Kansas City, MO 64111. resbyterians Ban Same-Gender Unions The Presbyterian Church u.s.A. has forbidden its minis..ers to bless same-sex unions in an action taken by its highest overning body, the General Assembly, which met from June 10-17 in Wichita. As an amendment to the church's constitution, the action will take effect in a year if a majority of the regional bodies (presbyteries) approve it. "This action was surprising," according to Bob Patenaude, co-moderator of Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns, "because last year's Assembly took milder action." Another proposal would have amended the constitution to prohibit ministers and ordained laity from holding office if they were not "faithful in marriage or celibate." By the narrowest of margins this language was removed and less restrictive language substituted. What had promised to be the most controversial issue of his Assembly -response to the "Reimagining" conference ,,' as diffused, however. The committee in charge of reviewing t produced a report, nearly unanimously approved, calling :or reconciliation. Integrating Faith and Sexuality A lively, inspirational collection of 365 daily meditations that celebrate the Bible's positive encouragement for lesbians and gay men. Paperback • $12.00 :I HarperSanFrancisco A D;visiOll of HarperCo!!insPu/;lishers Also "vai/,rblc li'om H:l rpc rCoiiinsCanadaLtd. V,ID.EG PROJE<;T DiReCTOR The Reconciling Congregati~n Prolram <is seekingFtan experienced filmmaker to deve1gp neW educatiol1.al videos. Direct process from creative stage througl;l final production. Knowledge oflesbian/gay/bisexual concenis in church,' Send vitae/ qualifiCatiohs to: RCP • 3801N. Keeler Ave. •..~Chic41go, It 60641 t. Eax 312l736:S475 -----------Gifts to Celebrate the RCP's 10th Anniversary · ---------' E Original Cast Recording Complete music fromHOME: The Parable of Beatrice and Neal. Performed by the original cast. 40 minutes. o Compact Disc regular $18 *special price $15 oAudio CassetteTape regular $12 *special price $10 P10th Anniversary Video regular $25 *special price $20 Video montage of stories and interview with HOME company on their 1994 midwestern tour.30 minutes. 'ME World Premier Tour T-Shirts High-quality cotton/poly blended "Mega Tee." Wild Rose or Seaweed colors interwoven with black to produce attractive flecked look. HOME logo on front in black ink. Indicate Quantity: WildRose $12 L XL XXL Seaweed $12 L XL XXL SUBTOTAL $ __ *Specia/ prices good for prepaid orders received by 9/30/94. Shipping/handling $ 3.00 TOTAL $ _ _ ummer 1994 NAME _________________________________ CHURCH ________________________________ ADDRESS _______________ CITY/STATE/ZIP _______________ PHONE: (___________ o Enclosed is my payment of $___ o Charge to my VISA or Mastercard (circle one) # Expiration ___/__ Signature _ _ _________________ Send order to: Reconciling Congregation Program 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641 3121736-5526 fax: 3121736-5475 31 RCP 10TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR ACCLAIMED Can this be home -Jor everyone who needs a place? Home -a place where all can share in grace? When our doors and anns are open wide to all, when each one oj us is Jree to heed God's call, This will be home . .. We'll all be home. The finale of Tim McGinley's HOME: TheParable ofBeatrice and Neal roused teary-eyed audience members to their feet in city after city. Viewers cornered McGinley and performers after each show to pour out their personal struggles which HOME had brought to life. The steadfast faith in God's abiding love, which HOME vividly conveyed, deeply touched many persons estranged from the church. McGinley's vision of what the church can and should be captivated others. HOME was commissioned by the Reconciling Congregation Program in celebration of its 10th anniversary. Timothy McGinley, minister of music at Broadway United Methodist Church in Indianapolis, created the show and composed the music. A company of ten persons, members and friends of Reconciling Congregations around the country, rehearsed together for one week and then gave fifteen performances in fourteen cities on a two-week midwestern tour. McGinley wove together a modern parable based on the Acts 10 story of Peter and Cornelius with a contemporary adaptation of music from the Mass. The Introit that opens HOME raises the questions: How do we build community? Where do we draw the line? Who should be in the Jamily? And who should stay outside? Can we all live together in hamlOny? How do we make a place Jor everyone? Can this be home? Just as Jesus did, HOME "answers" these questions by telling a parable -the story of six characters who are in some way in exile from the church or from their calling. Their unexpected encounter at a dinner arranged by a Reconciling Congregation pastor is both humorous and poignant. The focus is on the tension between Beatrice, who left behind her ordination to marry a conservative pastor prominent in antigay activities, and Neal, who left seminary and the church because he was openly gay. The characters discover their common bond in their faith in God's love, sung as The Credo, part of which states: I believe that God made me who I am And I believe that God rejoices when we live honest lives, Jor I believe in the creative love oj God. The common bond which the six characters discover culminates in the sharing of the Eucharist in the last scene. McGinley's music is most powerful and dramatic as it boldly proclaims the crux of our Christian faith: "Surprise! I am here, " God says. "All that I have created I have made good. You cannot limit me. I come to you when you least expect me, in unlikely places, With voices you reJuse to hear. So prepare the way!" By all measurable means, the tour was an overwhelming success. More than 1600 persons attended the fifteen performances. Over $20,000 was received to cover the expenses of the tour. Hundreds of volunteers supported the tour by providing hOUSing, meals, and publicity for the performances. "I can only say that this 10th anniversary celebration exceeded our expectations -it was truly a miracle!" noted RCP program coordinator Mark Bowman. "The right persons appeared to fill the many needed roles and tasks. McGinley's show powerfully portrayed the deep pain and abiding faith which drive the RC movement. Surely God's Spirit is at work in our midst." A very special thanks to the performers and support personnel who committed three weeks to rehearsals and touring and who proclaimed the hope-filled message of the RC movement: Ginny Bartholomew (Cleveland), David Bates (Chicago), Elizabeth Bowman (Cleveland), Don Fresen (Waukegan, IL), Robert Fromer (Hollywood), Drew Gorby (Louisville), Gregory Johnson (Chicago), Ruthe Miller (Elmhurst, IL), and Suzanne Preston (Indianapolis). Photo: Jean Caffey Lyles, United Methodist News Service A SCENE FROM HOME. From left to right: Beth Bowman, Don Fresen, and Gregory Johnson. SEE FORM ON PAGE 31 TO ORDER A RECORDING, VIDEO, AND T-SHIRT. Open Hands Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands Vol 10 No 1 - Reclaiming Pride: An Agenda for the Church? https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1e370a12b97e77393841ea1c6a0dcfa0.jpg f8b203794588fd045840c41ca743842f Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open Hands exhibit logo Description An account of the resource Logo for the Open Hands exhibit https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ec24410bdd277f3f1ec1de1fb77f2d41.png 29e563377d3c4f1f9db1351d2ad61bd3 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Open and Affirming in the UCC https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8568134f02222e7195b3b3e607a60938.m4a 8b333335fb8e11f2402de414cefacf08 YouTube Video A video hosted on YouTube. Embed Code The html embed codes for this object. <iframe width="600" height="337" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Dg58yES9vNA" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Online Meeting with Loey, Stacy, & Jody 9.28.19 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/b307b77cf21952e48ca3549cb02815c8.jpg 2574c321512eaf862d80449659e5edcc https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/0b9d9fcedf22e8b70d95652d553bbf20.jpg 2106fbe4d08a16728a543a604cfba22b Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. One Voice Mixed Chorus (Solidarity Tallit, Hand Prints) Stole Text <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 0pt;"><b><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Arial;">ONE VOICE MIXED CHORUS<!--?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /--></span></b></p> <p><b></b></p> <b></b> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Arial;"><!--?xml:namespace prefix = ns0 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /--><!--?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /-->Twin Cities, MN<b></b></span></p> <p><b></b></p> <b></b> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Arial;">This tallit represents all GLBT clergy and lay people serving in synagogues who are not recognized for their service and contribution to the Jewish faith. Originally used as a Bar Mitzvah Tallit in 1926, this tallit brings our history as Jewish People into the present and moves us into the future. The rainbow colored hands represent that we should hold out our hands in welcome to all people.</span></p> Denomination Reform Judaism Contribution Date 2007 Contribution Story <p>This tallit (prayer shawl) was given in conjunction with One Voice Mixed Chorus' "Reclaiming Faith" concerts in the Twin Cities in January, 2007.</p> <p>David Lohman<br />Faith Work Coordinator<br />National Gay &amp; Lesbian Task Force's Institute for Welcoming Resources<br />Home of the Shower of Stoles Project<br />2007</p> Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 1082 Title A name given to the resource One Voice Mixed Chorus (Solidarity Tallit, Hand Prints) Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Twin Cities, Minnesota (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource One Voice Mixed Chorus Jewish Judaism - Reform Minneapolis Minnesota St. Paul https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a3a32cb0ac4c1b1e4d10ef33ed051700.pdf 7b0397cd51b700ce4ad18355d981ddc8 Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Text Any textual data included in the document CONGREGATION BETH SIMCHAT TORAH DISEASES THAT PLAGUE GAYS Over 30 gay-related diseases-some of them deadly-plague the gay community. As part of the Gay Jewish Omnibus program, the Gay Synagogue will present three prominent physicians who will speak about these diseases, their causes, effects and some preventative measures we must all be aware of for our own protection. A question and answer period will follow the presentation. The Speakers: Linda Laubenstein, MD Peter Seitzman, MD Daniel William, MD The Place: Congregation Beth Simchat Torah 57 Bethune Street-between Washington & West Streets-up stone ramp in Westbeth courtyard. The Date: Wednesday, February 24, 1982 7:30 p.m. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource One of the earliest forums, February 1982 Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived CBST Archives https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/ca1c694762f57e69b7fcb133b6792705.jpg e8c48c5128f43b69223723c9d2710a49 Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Text Any textual data included in the document Jewish Resource Guide for AIDS Memorials C B S T New York's Gay & Lesbian Synagogue Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource One of several resources created during the AIDS crisis Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived CBST Archives https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/b5250a55cf892996ad7200a7d7b8af3c.jpg b75f9bcc264aa7e2cfb36fa54db2ac17 Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Text Any textual data included in the document SPRING 1993 Classes Parshat Hashavuah Service Leading Workshop (required for leaders) Gemorah shiur Understanding the Friday Night Service Torah Cantillation Basic Hebrew Hebrew Reading and Conversations Gay Literature Discussion Group Yiddish Conversation Naomi and Ruth Mah Jongg Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource One of Rabbi Kleinbaum's teaching texts Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived CBST Archives