61 20 2479 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/61b2a1fc6db5c0d94e57d59b047e3fc3.jpg 3b3a8c0d056536d9593fee8af633948c Person An individual. Text Any textual data included in the document Rev. Louis Mitchell is a pioneering "intentional man". Known around the country and abroad as an elder, advocate, teacher, student, minister, parent and friend. He serves as the Co-founder and Executive Director of Transfaith™/Interfaith Working Group and as the Associate Minister of South Congregational Church in Springfield, MA.   Mitchell is a proud father to his daughter, Kahlo, and co-parent with her mother, Krysia L. Villon. Louis has been in recovery for over three decades and been involved in the fight for health, respect and self-determination since the early 1980s, with deep engagement in political, mental health, recovery, and church contexts. He brings his own learned experiences, a broad range of resources, theories and studies, to offer a fresh, “on the ground”, open-hearted, holistic strategy to the work of individual and community healing, intersectional diversity planning and commitment to personal and community agency and solvency. Some key accomplishments include: <ul> <li>Profiled in the documentaries <a href="http://www.stillblackfilm.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Still Black: A Portrait of Black Transmen</a> (2008, Zeigler & Lora), Gender Journeys: More than a Pronoun (2016, Luke Allen) and More than T (2017, Silas Howard).</li> <li>Going to Church with Kahlo Received the 2017 International Jose Julio Sarria Civil Rights Award from the Imperial Court of Western Massachusetts, the 2015 Claire Skiffington Vanguard Award from the Transgender Law Center for his long time advocacy for the disenfranchised and the 2011 Haystack Award from the Massachusetts Conference of the UCC for his work in Social Justice and Social Ministry. </li> <li>Received the President’s Award from the Wells College students for his 2015 Residency on Intentional Inclusion and Building Diversity.</li> <li>Recognized as a part of the <a href="http://thetrans100.com/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">2014 edition of the Trans 100</a>, Louis was named as one of the ten leading Black Religious leaders Advancing LGBTQ Justice by BelieveOutLoud.</li> <li>Honored by <a href="http://blacktransmen.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Black Trans Advocacy</a> with a Foundation Award in 2013. Established in his name, the "Louis Mitchell Foundation Award for Empowerment" acknowledges those who increase spiritual, political, or social strength through service, personal encouragement, and availability to the Black Trans Community.</li> <li>Profiled in the <a href="http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=330" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">LGBT Religious Archives</a> Network gallery.</li> <li>Provided keynote addresses for the 2011 Transgender Religious Leaders Summit, the 2012 Inaugural <a href="http://blacktransmen.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Black Transmen, Inc</a>. Conference, and the 2012 <a href="http://www.trans-health.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference</a>.</li> <li> <ul> <li>Served as a founding member and East Coast Regional Minister of <a href="http://www.transsaints.org/">TransSaints</a>, a ministry of <a href="http://www.radicallyinclusive.com/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">The Fellowship of Affirming Ministries</a>(TFAM).</li> <li>Served as the founding Officer for Religious Affairs for the <a href="http://www.transpoc.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Transgender People of Color Coalition</a>(TPOCC).</li> <li>Served as a member of the <a href="http://www.masspreventssuicide.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention</a> at both the regional (Pioneer Valley) and the statewide (Massachusetts) level..</li> <li>Co-founded Recovering the Promise Ministries in Springfield, MA.</li> <li>Worked with clients and staff at <a href="http://www.rhd.org/morrishouse.aspx" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Morris Home</a>, a transgender-specific residential recovery house in Philadelphia, PA.</li> <li>Served as founding executive director of the Oshun women’s drop-in center (San Francisco, CA).</li> <li>First “out” transgender-identified board member of the <a href="http://www.thetaskforce.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">National Gay and Lesbian Task Force</a> (now The Task Force) and a founding member of Lesbians and Gays of African Descent for Democratic Action (LGADDA).</li> </ul> (This biographical statement provided by Louis Mitchell.) </li> </ul> Biographical Text Rev. Louis Mitchell is a pioneering "intentional man". Known around the country and abroad as an elder, advocate, teacher, student, minister, parent and friend. He serves as the Co-founder and Executive Director of Transfaith™/Interfaith Working Group and as the Associate Minister of South Congregational Church in Springfield, MA.   Mitchell is a proud father to his daughter, Kahlo, and co-parent with her mother, Krysia L. Villon. Louis has been in recovery for over three decades and been involved in the fight for health, respect and self-determination since the early 1980s, with deep engagement in political, mental health, recovery, and church contexts. He brings his own learned experiences, a broad range of resources, theories and studies, to offer a fresh, “on the ground”, open-hearted, holistic strategy to the work of individual and community healing, intersectional diversity planning and commitment to personal and community agency and solvency. Some key accomplishments include: <ul> <li>Profiled in the documentaries <a href="http://www.stillblackfilm.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Still Black: A Portrait of Black Transmen</a> (2008, Zeigler & Lora), Gender Journeys: More than a Pronoun (2016, Luke Allen) and More than T (2017, Silas Howard).</li> <li>Going to Church with Kahlo Received the 2017 International Jose Julio Sarria Civil Rights Award from the Imperial Court of Western Massachusetts, the 2015 Claire Skiffington Vanguard Award from the Transgender Law Center for his long time advocacy for the disenfranchised and the 2011 Haystack Award from the Massachusetts Conference of the UCC for his work in Social Justice and Social Ministry. </li> <li>Received the President’s Award from the Wells College students for his 2015 Residency on Intentional Inclusion and Building Diversity.</li> <li>Recognized as a part of the <a href="http://thetrans100.com/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">2014 edition of the Trans 100</a>, Louis was named as one of the ten leading Black Religious leaders Advancing LGBTQ Justice by BelieveOutLoud.</li> <li>Honored by <a href="http://blacktransmen.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Black Trans Advocacy</a> with a Foundation Award in 2013. Established in his name, the "Louis Mitchell Foundation Award for Empowerment" acknowledges those who increase spiritual, political, or social strength through service, personal encouragement, and availability to the Black Trans Community.</li> <li>Profiled in the <a href="http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=330" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">LGBT Religious Archives</a> Network gallery.</li> <li>Provided keynote addresses for the 2011 Transgender Religious Leaders Summit, the 2012 Inaugural <a href="http://blacktransmen.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Black Transmen, Inc</a>. Conference, and the 2012 <a href="http://www.trans-health.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference</a>.</li> <li> <ul> <li>Served as a founding member and East Coast Regional Minister of <a href="http://www.transsaints.org/">TransSaints</a>, a ministry of <a href="http://www.radicallyinclusive.com/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">The Fellowship of Affirming Ministries</a>(TFAM).</li> <li>Served as the founding Officer for Religious Affairs for the <a href="http://www.transpoc.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Transgender People of Color Coalition</a>(TPOCC).</li> <li>Served as a member of the <a href="http://www.masspreventssuicide.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Massachusetts Coalition for Suicide Prevention</a> at both the regional (Pioneer Valley) and the statewide (Massachusetts) level..</li> <li>Co-founded Recovering the Promise Ministries in Springfield, MA.</li> <li>Worked with clients and staff at <a href="http://www.rhd.org/morrishouse.aspx" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">Morris Home</a>, a transgender-specific residential recovery house in Philadelphia, PA.</li> <li>Served as founding executive director of the Oshun women’s drop-in center (San Francisco, CA).</li> <li>First “out” transgender-identified board member of the <a href="http://www.thetaskforce.org/" target="_blank" title="Opens external link in new window" rel="noopener">National Gay and Lesbian Task Force</a> (now The Task Force) and a founding member of Lesbians and Gays of African Descent for Democratic Action (LGADDA).</li> </ul> (This biographical statement provided by Louis Mitchell.) </li> </ul> Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Louis Mitchell Congregational Church Fellowship of Affirming Ministries Louis Mitchell TransFaith TransSaints Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Louise (Weze) Davis Stole Text LOUISE (WEZE) DAVIS 1982 Local Pastor, South Indiana 1984-87 Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary 1985-87 Student Pastor 1987-1990 Deacon, South Indiana 1990-1996 Left Church Completely 1996-98 Church Member 1998-99 Christian Educator -- Conference Grant 1999 Church Member Desire Church Position But the Church is not open to ALL of me 2000 ??? Denomination United Methodist Church Contribution Date 1999 Contribution Story This was one of the earliest United Methodist stoles included in the Shower of Stoles collection. In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April. At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection. We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend. Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves. In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference. Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland. Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240. Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested. As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles. Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth. A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles”. In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide. Martha Juillerat Founder, Shower of Stoles Project 2006 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 480 Title A name given to the resource Louise (Weze) Davis Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Indiana (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Louise Davis Clergy Activist Davis, Louise Indiana Methodist Ordination Reconciling Ministries Network (formerly Reconciling Congregation Program) United Methodist Church https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/a963a009498286ad234cd6e2e2b8ae95.jpg d17ee4e41cca56ebca41bf43f99ba6a3 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Historical Development of BIPOC Trans-spiritual Leadership Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Meet the first black transgender person to fight for her rights and marriage in court in 1945, by Mildred Europa Taylor, Face2Face: Africa. February 20, 2019. Title A name given to the resource Lucy Hicks Anderson Description An account of the resource Mrs. Anderson is known as the first black transgender person to fight for her right to marriage in court in 1945. She and her husband were convicted of fraud and sent to prison because they signed a marriage license to be legally married, and she collected his military pension. The injustice she suffered is apparent to far more people today than it was then. Born in 1886 in Waddy, Kentucky, Lucy, at an early age, had identified as a girl. She told her mother that she was not a boy; she demanded to be called Lucy instead of Tobias and wanted to wear a dress to school. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/de9158832c7da2135255eee7a9f75520.JPG a608e01e8aa84f076c80ecac494e3bfd Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Upstairs Lounge Fire Person An individual. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Luther Boggs Description An account of the resource Luther Boggs, 47, computer programmer, died July 10, 1973, after treatment for third degree burns over 50% of his body. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived AP wirephoto https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/85d4aea188cdf743380225c1e2071895.png 742809d9a78f5166ae67556824561b90 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Lutheran collage Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Lutheran Volunteer Corps (Solidarity Stole) Stole Text “What does the Lord require of you but that you do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8 We are members of the Lutheran Volunteer Corps living out the tenets of community, simplicity, and social justice in the Midwest. As part of our commitment to a year of service, we live in community and together we are seeking to do what is right and just. Our dedication to social justice has opened our eyes to the injustices that permeate all institutions in society, including the church. We believe that all people are teachers and that we can learn from one another. For many of us, the church is one of the most influential teachers in our lives. When the Lutheran church teaches love and inclusiveness yet practices intolerance and exclusiveness, the messages become blurred and inconsistent. The church is a community where relationships are developed and our faith is nurtured. Diversity in sexual orientation, race, class, gender, and age strengths this community and broadens our concept of faith. We, 37 members, staff, and friends of Lutheran Volunteer Corps in Chicago, Minneapolis/St. Paul, and Milwaukee call on the ELCA to change the guidelines in its Vision and Expectations document and the Definitions and Guidelines for Discipline document, so our community can reach its full potential. We also stand in solidarity with those who have been barred from serving their faith community because of their sexual orientation and pray for the day when all of God’s people will be fully accepted in the church. Denomination Evangelical Lutheran Church in America Contribution Date 2015 Contribution Story Originally a part of the collection of stoles housed by ReconcilingWorks: Lutherans for Full Participation, this stole was donated by them to the Shower of Stoles Project in 2015. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 1239 Title A name given to the resource Lutheran Volunteer Corps (Solidarity Stole) Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Unknown, (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Lutheran Volunteer Corps Ally Evangelical Lutherans of America (ELCA) Lutheran Ordination Reconciling Works (formerly Lutherans Concerned) https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7fc91949f94b46bebd0e5cab3daf7677.jpg 6a062b2f1613fc1839d4a4c8a026ef86 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Historical Development of BIPOC Trans-spiritual Leadership Website A resource comprising of a web page or web pages and all related assets ( such as images, sound and video files, etc. ). URL https://www.bgdblog.org/2017/04/must-use-whatever-resources-challenge-injustice-bgd-crush-month-featuring-lydia-brown/ Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Lydia X. Z. Brown - Healing and Self-salvation from the Savior Mentality Subject The topic of the resource Lydia is an autistic, nonbinary, asexual of color who in life spends time writing, organizing, and public speaking. Their work explores and navigates intersectional disability justice. They look at the power of institutional and personal violence to exclude and control marginalized disabled people. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8f0477a9a77ecd8e8c25bb5e8e4bf502.jpg de1cedf1dbafb340979913d9be95e4f5 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Lynn Lampman Stole Text REV. LYNN LAMPMAN The Presbyterian Church, USA had been the only spiritual home I had ever known. Yet, it was a place where I was feeling less and less at home. There was continual fighting in the "house" (Presbytery meetings and General Assembly) and then one day, I was locked out of the house -- via an amendment. Yes, I could have stayed, but who wants to live like that -- continually judged, on the outside of the inner circle, stereotyped and scorned. So, three years ago I left the PC(USA) and went to the United Church of Christ. When I left the PC(USA), I wept for quite a while. But, in the end I knew the UCC was a right "home" for me. For in the UCC, I am seen as a whole person (not solely as a lesbian). That's all I ever wanted: to be seen as a whole person. The UCC recognizes my gifts for ministry, and I am now serving as a Committee on Ministry chairperson. In light of all this, I am sending a stole which I have had since I was a seminarian. A stole which I wore for 13 1/2 years while a minister in the PC(USA). It has not gone with me into the UCC. It reminds me of the painful past, not the wonderful present and bright future. Denomination Presbyterian Church (USA) United Church of Christ Contribution Date 2002 Contribution Story This stole, a reminder of a "painful past," is also a symbol of a painful reality: the exodus of bright, talented leadership from discriminatory denominations like the Presbyterian Church to the welcoming arms of the United Church of Christ. Martha Juillerat Founder, Shower of Stoles Project 2006 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 892 Title A name given to the resource Lynn Lampman Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Norwood, Pennsylvania (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Lynn Lampman Lampman, Lynn Ordination Pennsylvania Presbyterian Presbyterian Church (USA) Theology United Church of Christ https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/d05b014a701c95edc417f2c80d77064f.jpg 9cb5780e22293beb6d2278f18dcfb42c https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/bf8da55b5b1ba714352ddf66df5bc939.jpg b48faa2034752e9c48c8de3adc17e498 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. M.T. Stole Text M.T. - stays in a traditional marriage though her heart is elsewhere - a gifted minister who must live a lie Denomination Presbyterian Church (USA) Contribution Date 1995 Contribution Story This stole was one of the original 80 stoles that were on display on Sept. 16, 1995 when I set aside my ordination before Heartland Presbytery (see stole #1 for details). No other information about this anonymous minister was included with the handwritten note attached to the stole. Martha Juillerat Founder, Shower of Stoles Project 2006 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 86 Title A name given to the resource M.T. Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Unknown, (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Withheld Presbyterian Presbyterian Church (USA) United States https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/cca050fdc0b649c73f5d0cd0828f76fb.jpg 4ff186344307f9cc8a946b2cf6097b35 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Historical Development of BIPOC Trans-spiritual Leadership YouTube Video A video hosted on YouTube. YouTube ID Eleven-character ID assigned by YouTube LW1Z54a26Bc Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Machi Shaman Description An account of the resource To Mapuche shamans, or machi, the foye tree is important for its medicinal qualities and hermaphroditic flowers, which reflect the gender-shifting components of machi healing practices. Framed by their cultural constructions of gender and identity, the Chilean state stigmatizes the machi as witches and sexual deviants. But shamans use paradoxical discourses about gender to legitimatize themselves as healers and, at the same time, as modern men and women; the tree's political use also serves as a symbol of resistance to national ideologies; and other aspects of these rich traditions. Within a Western and Christian ideological framework, individuals who identify as a third gender are often thought of as part of the LGBTQ community. This classification actually distorts the concept of a third gender and reflects a culture that historically recognizes only two genders based on sex assigned at birth - male or female – and anyone acting outside of the cultural norms for their sex may be classified as homosexual, gender queer, or transgender, among other classifications. In societies that recognize a third gender, the gender classification is not based on sexual identity, but rather on gender identity and spirituality. Individuals who identify with a cultural third gender are, in fact, acting within their gender/sex norm. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived https://nhm.org/stories/beyond-gender-indigenous-perspectives-mapuche https://tarpits.org/stories/beyond-gender-indigenous-perspectives-mapuche https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW1Z54a26Bc&t=47s Subject The topic of the resource 2016 Featuring Machi Mapuche Juan Curaqueo. In Chile's Mapuche culture, the Machi Shaman is a two-spirit who recognizes the gender fluidity of the foye tree which has medicinal qualities and hermaphroditic flowers. https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/8126f0b174be671861596949e1710579.jpg 971903c4df322554101dfc263ae2b1bc https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/86aee6c43ca8718ae905da057a831864.jpg fd777656938afce3017af947ff76894d Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Madison (Infant son of Valerie Nelson and Diane Gira, who was denied baptism in his United Methodist Church) Stole Text For Madison "A Stole In Honor of Our Son" We present this stole in honor of our son, Madison, who was denied baptism in Evergreen United Methodist Church in Wahpeton, North Dakota. Our son's birth was treated differently than the other babies born into our church family. Our pastor would not announce our son's birth from the pulpit, would not include his birth information in the Sunday bulletin or monthly newsletter, and even initially said he was too busy to come to our home to meet Madison (but did find time 2 weeks later). The final act of injustice, however, was when our pastor denied our six-week-old son baptism because "we could not provide a Christian home for him" and because "baptism is for the parents, not the baby!" At that point we knew we needed to find a different church and with hearts heavy with pain, we left. We weren't a couple who attended church on a whim or only on religious holidays. We were leaders in our church who attended every Sunday. At the time we left, we were: secretary to the administrative council, adult Sunday school participants, communion stewards, ushers, singer in the choir, Vice Chairperson of the Trustees, coordinator of a project that provided winter outer wear to needy children in our area, member of the evangelism committee, substitute Sunday school teacher, on the adult Sunday school curriculum committee, and a member of a committee which was in the process of writing a mission statement for the church. None of this mattered; in fact, our love for the Lord wasn't even enough for this pastor. All that mattered to him was that we were gay. Our son is a wonderful 22 month old toddler, a blessing from God, and the pastor and church that rejected him have no idea what they are missing out on! Denomination United Methodist Church Contribution Date 2000 Contribution Story Valerie and Diane left the United Methodist Church and joined a Lutheran church where they were welcome and, more important, where they could have their son baptized. They sent this in advance of the 2000 General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Cleveland, OH. It was their hope that, with the telling of their story, the church might begin to look beyond the issue of ordination to see just how deep discrimination runs -- affecting even a six week old infant. In a denomination that believes baptism should be freely offered to the children of those who have professed their faith in Jesus Christ, this stole sparked much discussion at the General Conference and beyond. From the day I received it, Madison's stole became one of six that I took with me everywhere I went for the next six years. In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April. At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection. We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend. Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves. In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference. Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland. Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240. Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested. As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles. Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth. A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles.” In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide. Martha Juillerat Founder, Shower of Stoles Project 2006 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 641 Title A name given to the resource Madison (Infant son of Valerie Nelson and Diane Gira, who was denied baptism in his United Methodist Church) Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Wahpeton, North Dakota (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Valerie Nelson and Diane Gira Clergy Activist Gira, Diane Lutheran Methodist Nelson, Valerie North Dakota Ordination Reconciling Ministries Network (formerly Reconciling Congregation Program) United Methodist Church https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/f67cebb8512a6e114102aa92354c15a8.jpg eaee81aaff70aaa55185826dc5f63fe0 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Historical Development of BIPOC Trans-spiritual Leadership Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource MAGA Jesus Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Maggie Ritchey Stole Text Maggie Ritchey Denomination Presbyterian Church (USA) Contribution Date 1996 Contribution Story This is one of fifteen stoles from members, elders, deacons, and pastoral staff at West Hollywood Presbyterian Church (WHPC). West Hollywood Presbyterian Church is a historical icon in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community as well as the Welcoming Congregations movement. WHPC was at the forefront of the civil rights movement in Los Angeles and in the early 1960's began to close each service by singing the civil rights anthem "We Shall Overcome" - a tradition that continues to this day. As early as 1964 (five years before the Stonewall rebellion), West Hollywood Presbyterian Church hosted what is believed to be the first openly Gay Men's "Rap" Group in the city of Los Angeles and the church began to minister to the spiritual needs of the Gay & Lesbian community who had been drawn by its message of inclusiveness. Soon nationally known spiritual author Chris Glaser would launch "The Lazarus Project" at WHPC - A program to advocate for Gay & Lesbian spiritual and human rights. In October of 1984, WHPC called an openly gay man, the Reverend Dan Smith, to serve as its pastor. Dan continues to be the only minister in the country serving a Presbyterian congregation who went through the entire call and installation process as an "out" gay man. While proudly continuing its tradition of progressive spirituality and activism, this multi-cultural congregation feeds approximately 4,000 hungry and homeless people each year, builds homes for economically-challenged families under the "Habitat for Humanity" program, offers an HIV Spiritual Support Group, provides a "Children's Church" program and continues to openly take stands on political issues involving civil rights. West Hollywood Presbyterian also claims to espouse a theology that is "perhaps the most pro-feminist in Los Angeles." Martha Juillerat Founder, Shower of Stoles Project 2006 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 232 Title A name given to the resource Maggie Ritchey Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Hollywood, California (USA) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource West Hollywood Presbyterian Church AIDS California Civil Rights Movement Clergy Activist Feminism Glaser, Chris Lazarus Project Ordination Presbyterian Presbyterian Church (USA) Ritchey, Maggie Smith, Dan Theology https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/1d5647b402f6ca8c307b893a31c034fa.jpg bddb708128844e22cfd0579d901f62d6 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/b5c24c982ab3af2bebc0840823928a47.jpg 0d285871ffe868db0a5f74721d89a66a https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/31f9063e4752c2a487785816781f5822.jpg 1dae5d37b66682243527c982afb7545c Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Shower of Stoles Description An account of the resource Items (stoles) for the Shower of Stoles exhibit Stole A stole in the Shower of Stoles exhibit Honoree The person honored by the creation of thestole. Maire Hart Stole Text MAIRE HART COMMUNITY OF CHRIST Faaa, Tahiti My name is Maire Hart. I am a professional singer from Tahiti. I discovered my homosexuality as a child, but I really experienced it at the age of 18, when I tried to be with men, but my orientation was really that of loving women. When the public (my fans) found out about my sexuality, my popularity decline and I was deeply hurt in my heart. As a result, I became totally withdrawn and quite singing for a period of 15 years. Fifteen years of my life sacrificed. I abandoned my passion, my mission, what I loved most in the world, because of the accusing looks. But most of all, I was not strong enough to fight against this shame that was killing me little by little. I was falling then so easily into drugs, by pure shame, and telling myself that I was not “normal.” It is never easy for an artist to live with being a celebrity, but with a label that always brings mockery, insults and discrimination, and fear of the unknown. But I found the strength to overcome these problems, thanks to God and the prayers addressed to him, with a true, fervent desire to pull out of it. He was always there but I was so weak and blinded by the drugs that I was wandering in total darkness. But one day I had enough of this shadowy world, understanding at last that I alone was ruining and wasting my life. I came across a verse that said, “One does not put a lamp under the table but on the table, so that it shines on everyone.” I felt like God had lifted me up. I got up all the courage I could muster, then I did everything I had to, to appear before you this evening, and I started singing again. I joined a prayer group. Today, my primary gratitude will always be to God, for having never left me and for being my best father, friend, Savior, and captain of the ship. Thank you, Lord. Thank you too, my Angels. Denomination Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 1025 Title A name given to the resource Maire Hart Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Faaa, Tahiti, (French Polynesia) Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Maire Hart Community of Christ Hart, Maire Tahiti Theology Women and Religion https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/d857d1fc559e9f9ebea2cc3efd92785e.jpg 05d9625c28fe4388726b4d80320b0bfc Person An individual. Text Any textual data included in the document Malcolm Himschoot was born in 1977 in Denver, Colorado, and raised in Idaho Springs, Colorado in a white conservative Christian context.  Malcolm’s father was a builder and mother worked as a nurse. He had an older and a younger brother. He was inspired by the mountains and by outdoor worship services growing up, and read through the Bible once a year as a teenager.  Malcolm did co-ed activities in high school: newspaper, theatre, learned languages, traveled with Spanish and French classes. He graduated from the public high school a valedictorian. He also participated in a number of different Christian groups and activities. The family attended several different “Bible-based” churches.  Throughout this time Malcolm was identified by others as female. He had no concept of “lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender” until near the end of his time in high school. He developed into more of a self-described hermit. Intrigued by academics and by the lore of Emily Dickinson, he enrolled in Amherst College in Massachusetts, assisted by major scholarships for a first-generation college student.   During his Amherst years, Malcolm’s experience and understanding of faith, intellect and diverse identities greatly expanded. There he met a trans person for the first time and came to realize internally that the identity of a trans man also fit him. Through the pastoral outreach of Rev. Jan Powers, Malcolm also became affiliated with the United Church of Christ. He describes new-found mental wellness during this time, shedding previously-received fundamentalist message of guilt, shame, fear and fragmentation. However, the years after college resulted in insecure housing and job discrimination. Malcolm spent time traveling and living in Russia, Texas, and Guatemala, studying, doing volunteer work and self-examination. Deciding he would transition to a male gender expression, his desire to re-connect with estranged family eventually led him back to Colorado. He applied to seminary while working in adult education as an English language instructor with immigrant families. Malcolm started seminary in Denver at the Iliff School of Theology in 2000. Initially he was drawn to academic study of religion and ethics. Dr. Vincent Harding, Dr. Dana Wilbanks, and Gail Erisman-Valeta in the Justice and Peace Studies program encouraged him toward urban ministry and community transformation.  As Malcolm made his gender transition, connecting with multiple support people in the area, he also began shifting toward greater interest in pastoral ministry. His cross-cultural student pastorate at the Denver Inner City Parish with pastor Steve Johnsen drew him further along a ministerial path. He received the William R. Johnson Scholarship from the United Church of Christ and was taken in care by the Metro Denver Association of the UCC, in membership with the Washington Park UCC congregation pastored by Rev. Emily Hassler. In 2001 Malcolm participated in a consultation for trans people in the UCC’s national LGBT Concerns Office in Cleveland. This was a life-changing experience in which Malcolm got to meet, hear and make connections with a number of trans leaders in the UCC, including Miss Major Griffin-Gracy. Shortly thereafter Malcolm was invited by a filmmaker to be the subject of a UCC-produced documentary about a trans person’s journey. Malcolm resisted this offer, considering it both too intimate and too individualistic. Finally understanding the importance of a film as an opportunity to break down isolation for trans persons, a vehicle to open conversation in religious congregations about gender diversity, and an artistic expression of spirituality to a non-religious audience, Malcolm agreed to participate in the project. Call Me Malcolm was released in 2005, co-produced by the wider United Church of Christ and Filmworks, Inc.  In conjunction with that film, he has since spoken at churches, conferences, colleges, and universities around the country. Malcolm was ordained as clergy in the United Church of Christ in 2004. He later served as Associate Minister for Outreach at Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota for a period of time. In addition, he served as interim Open and Affirming Coordinator for the United Church of Christ Coalition for LGBT Concerns, during an important period of transition for the program. Malcolm and his partner Mariah welcomed twins into their family in 2007. Malcolm shifted much of his time toward parenting, but continued to do some teaching and occasional presentations on transgender concerns. His published writing appeared in Prism, Progressive Christian, Christian Century, edited volumes by Marcella Althaus-Reid and Megan Rohrer, and the American Association of Pastoral Counselors online journal Sacred Spaces. In addition to guest preaching, Malcolm filled supply, interim, or grant-funded position at churches including Arvada UCC, Community UCC of Boulder, and Parker UCC. He traveled less but continued to translate and interpret for some Spanish-language congregations. Taking part in trans activism, Malcolm’s commitments grew in interfaith, anti-racist, and anti-poverty directions. He attended World Council of Churches conversations on gender and sexuality in 2009, supported the founding of the U.S.-based TransFaith Institute, and in 2010 convened a multi-generational network within the UCC called GenderFold. In 2012 Malcolm accepted a position in Cleveland in the national offices of the United Church of Christ, as Minister for Ministerial Transitions. He said, “Churches call forth ministers so that ministers will call forth the calling of the church!” (This biographical statement written by Mark Bowman and edited by Malcolm Himschoot.) Biographical Text Malcolm Himschoot was born in 1977 in Denver, Colorado, and raised in Idaho Springs, Colorado in a white conservative Christian context.  Malcolm’s father was a builder and mother worked as a nurse. He had an older and a younger brother. He was inspired by the mountains and by outdoor worship services growing up, and read through the Bible once a year as a teenager.  Malcolm did co-ed activities in high school: newspaper, theatre, learned languages, traveled with Spanish and French classes. He graduated from the public high school a valedictorian. He also participated in a number of different Christian groups and activities. The family attended several different “Bible-based” churches.  Throughout this time Malcolm was identified by others as female. He had no concept of “lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender” until near the end of his time in high school. He developed into more of a self-described hermit. Intrigued by academics and by the lore of Emily Dickinson, he enrolled in Amherst College in Massachusetts, assisted by major scholarships for a first-generation college student.   During his Amherst years, Malcolm’s experience and understanding of faith, intellect and diverse identities greatly expanded. There he met a trans person for the first time and came to realize internally that the identity of a trans man also fit him. Through the pastoral outreach of Rev. Jan Powers, Malcolm also became affiliated with the United Church of Christ. He describes new-found mental wellness during this time, shedding previously-received fundamentalist message of guilt, shame, fear and fragmentation. However, the years after college resulted in insecure housing and job discrimination. Malcolm spent time traveling and living in Russia, Texas, and Guatemala, studying, doing volunteer work and self-examination. Deciding he would transition to a male gender expression, his desire to re-connect with estranged family eventually led him back to Colorado. He applied to seminary while working in adult education as an English language instructor with immigrant families. Malcolm started seminary in Denver at the Iliff School of Theology in 2000. Initially he was drawn to academic study of religion and ethics. Dr. Vincent Harding, Dr. Dana Wilbanks, and Gail Erisman-Valeta in the Justice and Peace Studies program encouraged him toward urban ministry and community transformation.  As Malcolm made his gender transition, connecting with multiple support people in the area, he also began shifting toward greater interest in pastoral ministry. His cross-cultural student pastorate at the Denver Inner City Parish with pastor Steve Johnsen drew him further along a ministerial path. He received the William R. Johnson Scholarship from the United Church of Christ and was taken in care by the Metro Denver Association of the UCC, in membership with the Washington Park UCC congregation pastored by Rev. Emily Hassler. In 2001 Malcolm participated in a consultation for trans people in the UCC’s national LGBT Concerns Office in Cleveland. This was a life-changing experience in which Malcolm got to meet, hear and make connections with a number of trans leaders in the UCC, including <a href="http://exhibits.lgbtran.org/exhibits/show/rolling-the-stone-away/item/1443">Miss Major Griffin-Gracy</a>. Shortly thereafter Malcolm was invited by a filmmaker to be the subject of a UCC-produced documentary about a trans person’s journey. Malcolm resisted this offer, considering it both too intimate and too individualistic. Finally understanding the importance of a film as an opportunity to break down isolation for trans persons, a vehicle to open conversation in religious congregations about gender diversity, and an artistic expression of spirituality to a non-religious audience, Malcolm agreed to participate in the project. Call Me Malcolm was released in 2005, co-produced by the wider United Church of Christ and Filmworks, Inc.  In conjunction with that film, he has since spoken at churches, conferences, colleges, and universities around the country. Malcolm was ordained as clergy in the United Church of Christ in 2004. He later served as Associate Minister for Outreach at Plymouth Congregational Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota for a period of time. In addition, he served as interim Open and Affirming Coordinator for the United Church of Christ Coalition for LGBT Concerns, during an important period of transition for the program. Malcolm and his partner Mariah welcomed twins into their family in 2007. Malcolm shifted much of his time toward parenting, but continued to do some teaching and occasional presentations on transgender concerns. His published writing appeared in Prism, Progressive Christian, Christian Century, edited volumes by Marcella Althaus-Reid and Megan Rohrer, and the American Association of Pastoral Counselors online journal Sacred Spaces. In addition to guest preaching, Malcolm filled supply, interim, or grant-funded position at churches including Arvada UCC, Community UCC of Boulder, and Parker UCC. He traveled less but continued to translate and interpret for some Spanish-language congregations. Taking part in trans activism, Malcolm’s commitments grew in interfaith, anti-racist, and anti-poverty directions. He attended World Council of Churches conversations on gender and sexuality in 2009, supported the founding of the U.S.-based TransFaith Institute, and in 2010 convened a multi-generational network within the UCC called GenderFold. In 2012 Malcolm accepted a position in Cleveland in the national offices of the United Church of Christ, as Minister for Ministerial Transitions. He said, “Churches call forth ministers so that ministers will call forth the calling of the church!” (This biographical statement written by Mark Bowman and edited by Malcolm Himschoot.) Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Malcolm Himschoot Malcolm Himschoot UCC United Church of Christ https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/03e5c6ee2c66da5ccd2d9e6bb70426a4.jpg 4557ec3498ac5dc994463998970d2e6f Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource The Historical Development of BIPOC Trans-spiritual Leadership YouTube Video A video hosted on YouTube. YouTube ID Eleven-character ID assigned by YouTube vCnIQMCLLEE Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manifest Destiny Subject The topic of the resource The belief America had a right to expand from coast to coast was that it was God's will. Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCnIQMCLLEE https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/7e867a0471368a8c2b288eb0b446fd84.pdf 88a12ee956b3180a846c32cfc9b50647 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 1 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1985 Publication Date The date the issue was published Summer Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1 D JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM D NO.1 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: "Being a Reconciler" .... .. .6 by Virginia Hilton ,'Reconciliation Rediscovered" ... .. 8 by Joseph Weber "Estrangement Can Be Overcome" .... 11 by Howard and Millie Eychaner Resources: An Annotated Bibliography . ... ... 15 VOL. 1 D NO.1 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community life. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries the program provides resource materials including Manna for the Journey. Regional enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 CONTRIBUTING TO THIS ISSUE: Mark Bowman Joanne Brown Bruce Calvin Howard Eychaner In this, our inaugural edition of Manna for the Journey, we have sketched a conceptual framewor~nd--a theological context for the Reconciling Congregation Program. Along with this, we have provided resources for those who choose to be reconcilers. In "Reconciliation Rediscovered" (p.S) Joseph Weber reminds us of the New Testament portrayal of reconciliation and applies that to the ministry of the church with lesbians and gay men. Howard and Millie Eychanershare the joy of reconciling with a gay son and offer a paradigm for the church in "Estrangement Can Be Overcome" (p.11). Thoughts on "Being a Reconc; ler" (p.6)within the local church are offered by Virginia Hilton. In the RESOURCES section (p.15) we offer an annotated bibliography of printed and media resources which can be helpful for those searching for more information on lesbian and gay concerns within a religious context. Appreciat ion for the compilation and notation of these resources goes to Bruce Calvin, librarian at GeorgeWashington University, and John Hannay, graduate of Wesley Theological Seminary. Joanne Brown provides a brief meditation and worship resources in SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p.14). Dr. Brown is Assistant Professor of Religion at Pacific Lutheran University and an elder in the Rocky Mountain Conference (UMC) • Two gay clergy reflect on the experience of "being in exile" from the church in their LEITERS (p. 3). Finally, we celebrate the first year of the Reconciling Congregation Program by introducing some of the first Reconciling Congregations in the section, RCP REPORT (p.4). We hope you find Manna for the Journey to be a helpful and stimulating resource,--ooth to your personal journey of faith and to your local church. We welcome your comments and suggestions! Millie Eychaner Bradley Rymph John Hanna y B. J. Stiles Virginia Hilton Joseph C. Weber Beth Richardson Graphic Artist: Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns ~r~uiNC9 for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is .10 for four issues. Single-COpies are available for .3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington. D.C. 20026 Copyright 1985 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. 2 / Manna jor the Journey I Ep.istles fromExiles The action of the 1984 Un i ted Me t hodis t lie. Neither fulfills the promise of the Gospel that we should have life and have it more abundantly as men and women of faith. Having "sailed away II from this place of turbulence and hurt, I can only try to be faithful from the edges: to do theology at the tials in 1971: For the past thirteen years while annually seeking to have my credentials restored I have had to guard against thinking of myself as someone on the outside trying to get back in. know that I am still a minGeneral Conference which margins. But the task for ister in the Church Univerbanned the ordination or those of us in this situasal and the Church in Exile. appointment of lesbian tion is fairly easy and (The day my credentials were and gay clergy, has inclear: all we need to do is suspended the church's janitensified the rift beto sing the Lord's song in a tor comforted me with: tween lesbians and gay strange land knowing that "Someone up there gave you men and the UMC. The our Shepherd, who knows all credentials they can't begin feeling of "being in the sheep, will recognize to touch!") Within the local exile" from the church our voices and keep us safe. church I have profoundly has been articulated by Here, in our exile, our missed the regular chores many lesbians and gay of preaching, teaching, and words and our life may bemen as indicative of administering the sacracome integrated; this is the their experience. The me n t s . (I doge t to singin promise of our exile. response to being in an As for those who remain the choir and serve on exilic state may differ in the center, it is ever so committees.) For the most from individual to indipart, I see myself as a much more difficult. They vidual. Two gay clergy missionary within the UMC have yet to love us as even share their ideas on the and not a very welcome one our Lord has loved us. They experience of exile from at that! have yet to trust the meanthe church. ing of the Eucharist and the Secondly I remember that inclusive table on which it Romans 8:28 is eternally is spread. They have yet to * * * * * * true: all things do work for understand the meaning of good for those who love God. the Parable of the Laborers "When you feel your song is In setting me free from the orchestrated wrong, economic and political apron, in the Vineyard. Why should you prolong your These things must all be strings of the UMC, God has stay? accomplished in the process tremendously enriched my When the wind and weather of bringing us home from the mi n i s try. No, it is my 1i fe exile -home to familiar blow your dreams sky-high, which has been enriched! ports, to see welcome flags Sail away, sail away, sail Especially do I thank God away. II -Noel Coward flying, and to break the for my gay and lesbian United Methodist brothers bread of life in the circle and sisters; when "straight" This is the season to where we truly belong. sail away. The decisions of families have withdrawn from United Methodism about homo- Anonymous me, God has given me new Washington, D.C. sexual clergy have created families. When ministry was rough seas for those gay men taken from me, new miniand lesbians who are in the stries were given to me. * * * * * * * ministry and wish to affirm Freedom IS just another word their spirituality and their for nothing left to lose! There are two observasexuality. tions which are most vivid We were essentially giv- Gene Leggett for me since the suspending en two options: leave or of my ministerial creden- Dallas, TX Manna for the Journey / 3 Over the past year, eleven united Methodist congregations have made the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. These congregations reflect the diversity of individuals and local churches which are found in the larger church. Some of them decided to become Reconciling Congregations to symbolize that their ministry is open to all persons. Others have engaged in ministries with lesbians and gay men in their community for years, and are now publicly affirming their commitment. The stories of these congregations are illustrative of the struggle of a community to be faithful to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To celebrate the healing presence which these congregations embody within the church and the world we present portraits of some of them. * * * * * * * Bethany UMC-San Francisco,CA Bethany is a small urban church. Its diverse congregation includes a Philippino family, elderly widows, young women, and gay men. Bethany has 125 members, but itls a congregation which is struggling to survive. Bethany has a program of worship services and small group fellowship. The congregation has a long history of participation by lesbians and gay men. Several years ago, the church raised $1200 to support an urban ministry intern who was gay. The current lay leader of the congregation is a gay man. Bethany voted to become a Reconciling Congregation after learning of the program in a denominational publication. Central UMC -Toledo, OH Central is an inner-city church, part of a community which is diverse economically, racially, and politically. The congregation was founded in 1896. Until 1940 it was part of a stable residential neighborhood. Since then the community has undergone change. The church of just under 100 members, consists primarily of retired people and gay men and lesbians. Central provides a thrift store for the communi ty several days a week. It became involved in gay and lesbian issues in 1979 when a lesbian/gay group began meeting there. Edgehill UMC -Nashville, TN EdgehlTT was formed in the early 1960 ls in response to the need for ministry in the arena of racial justice in Nashville. It is an innercity congregation of 250 members with a rainbow of ages, races, and economic backgrounds. Commitment to outreach ministries is required of members. Edgehillis ministries include a soup kitchen, an afternoon program for children, hunger relief, and prison ministry. The congregation became involved in lesbian/gay concerns a number of years ago when the local Metropolitan Community Church began meeting there. .. ,-~ '. I . . St. Paul IS UMC -Denver, CO ---St. PaUl's celebrated its 125th anniversary last year. It was one of the first congregations in the city of Denver. The membership of 70 is comprised of single persons, apartmentdwellers and the elderly. The church houses the Colorado AIDS Project, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and an adult education program. St. Paulls has been involved in lesbian and gay issues since 1981 when a gay clergyman, Julian Rush, was appointed there as pastor. In September 1984 the congregation hosted the national meeting of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. su~n~hills UMC-Milpitas, CA unnyhiTTS was founded 27 yea rs ago ina un i on hall and grew out of issues surrounding the United Auto Workers. It has always been a "social justice" church. The congregation of about 100 members is located in the gredter San Jose area, the "Silicon Valley." Sunnyhills' members are involved in peacemaking work and the sanctuary movement 4 / Manna for the Journey for refugees. A study on homosexuality in November 1983 began Sunnyhills' process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. The congregation participates in joint events with the San Jose Metropolitan Community Church. wallin,ford UMC-Seattle, WA Wa lingford was an Evangelical United Brethren congregation founded around the time of World War I. While membership in the congregation is 75, about 100 persons attend worship each week. The congregation is made up of primarily young, middle-class, single persons and families with children. Wallingford hosts the Women's Center for Christian Ministry and has groups active in economic justice and peacemaking issues. The congregation works closely with a local Affirmation group. Wallingford began its involvement with gay/lesbian concerns in 1983 and engaged in a process of study and discussion leading to the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation. gainst Racism ,Everywhere. A conference on homosexuality and the ministry was held at Washington Square in 1977. A New York Times article in conneCfiOn -with that conference identified the pastor, Paul Abels, as a gay, ordained clergyman. Abels served the congregation until his retirement in June 1984. Washington Square has been active in ministries with persons with AIDS. A member, Charles Bergner, related his struggle with AIDS in an interview with the United Methodist Reporter in July 1983. Wesley UMC -Fresno, CA Wesley was formed eleven years ago from the merger of First UMC and a small UM congregation located near Fresno State University. In moving to the University area, eight miles from downtown a covenant was made to continue involvement in and financial support for Fresno Metro Ministries, an advocacy agency for low-income persons. One of Wes ley's ministries is a Southeast plight of lesbians and gay men within the church. At present, Wesley has a lesbian/gay support group meeting weekly and conducts educational events on "Sexual Identity and the Christian Canmunity." Wheadon UMC -Evanston, IL Wheaaon, organized in 1888, is a congregation committed to justice. Its ministries address concerns for economic justice, peace with justice, racial justice, sexual justice (homophobia), and sexual justice (sexism). The congregation of 125 members functions with "designated pastors" in a system designed to be egalitarian and participatory. Wheadon's ongoing ministries include Bible study, church school, church-wide suppers, and public sanctuary for illegal refugees. In 1983 Wheadon became the first congregation to sign the Methodist Federation for Social Action's "Covenant of Compassion and Solidarity with Homosexual Persons." * * * * * * Washington Square UMC -New York, NY Washington Square is an historic congregation in the life of lesbian and gay persons of faith. Located in the Greenwich Village area, the congregation of 75 members has opened its building and ministries to the surrounding lesbian and gay community. Ministries include: Gay Men's Health Crisis, gay/lesbian poetry readings, Black and White Men Together, and Dykes A- Asian organizing project which provides recreation and education for refugees who live in the neighborhood of the church. Wesley attracts Christians who are interested in the social implications of the Gospel, many of whom are involved in people-serving work in the community. The congregation became involved in gay and lesbian concerns through the advocacy of the pastor, Don Fado, who has stressed inclusiveness, with special mention for the We will continue to share information on these and other Reconciling Congregations in future issues of Manna for the Journey. If you would like a complete listing of Reconciling Congregations or information on how a local church can become a Reconciling Congregation, write to: Reconci ling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey / 5 • In a Rev. Virginia Hilton is the pastor of Albany United Methodist Church in Albany, California. In 1979 I was a pastor serving in myfirst local church, newly graduated from seminary, and still working toward elder's orders. One Fr iday, just as I was leaving for a district clergy meeting, my second son (of four) asked to talk to me. He and a friend were leading a young adult discussion group that Sunday. Their subject was human sexuality and they had decided to share what it feels like to be a closeted gay man or lesbi an in the chur ch community. They • ler were "coming out" in that group, and Phil wanted to discuss with me first how that would affect me. He was fearful that his being gay and out of the closet might somehow hurt ~ ordination. I had felt for a long time that Phil was gay, but I had wanted him to tell me, so the news he shared came with a sense of relief, I think, for both of us. No more pretending, no more covering up, no more not being able to respond to his pain. I had several years to prepare for this moment -to read what I could find on homosexuality (which wasn't much in those days!) and to begin accept my own sexual feelings. As I look back on that moment I'm sure there were some feelings of judgment, but the predominate feeling was that of fe ar for him, of helplessness. I could not protect him from homophobic people in society. I could not protect him from the "gay-bashing" which was taking place in San Francisco, from the job discrimination; I couldn't do all that much to protect him from rel atives for whom being gay would be considered a sin and an abomination. ~e hugged a lot and cried a little, and I tried to assure Phil that his coming out would not affect my ministry or my ordination process. I hurri ed off to my meeting , but as I drove Route 24 t hrough t he tunnel from Berkeley I realized that there was an anxiety about myministry at the local church. I needed to talk to a more seasoned colleague about my uneasiness. During a break ;n the meeting I had a chance to share what Phil had told me 6 / Manna for the Journey with a friend I trusted, one who had been fairly sensitive on other issues. His f irst response was physical. He edged away from me, almost imperceptibly, but the dist ance might as well have been one hundred miles. He also edged away from me emoti onally . Hi s verbal response was, "Don't talk about that with your congregation! That's opening up another can of worms! " (1 tend to be rather outspoken on issues of justice.) I felt no empathy from this otherwise pastoral friend. There was no concern for me or for Phil . My friend simply could not relate to me. The physical and emotional distanci ng said it all. Judgment was there , clear and strong. He changed the subject after a few inane comments and a joke about being gay. 1 felt betrayed! Gay men and lesbians have to ld me much more painful stories abo ut their rejecti on within the church. If they had been willi ng to live a life of denial, a life of repressed anger and self-doubt, they would have fit beautiful ly within the church fami ly. It was when they decided to claim their identity publicly and t he power that goes with that, that some church people responded with hatred, j udgment, separation . Sometimes that reaction is never named, but is expressed in avoidance of issues, usiny manufactured excuses to force gay men and les bians out . What is our responsibility, as both clergy and laity , in raising concerns about lesbians and gay men within our congregations? What can we do to bringabout reconciliation between the homophobic ones in a congregation, and gay men and lesbians who would still like to be part of the redeemed and redeemingfellowship? Fr om my own struggle I have learned that to be truly reconciling I must fac e mY own homophobia -that irrational fear, both psycho-soc ial and sexual-genital, of same-sex relationships. I have not been gay or lesbian. I do not know what they experience. Deep withi n me there are fears and anxieties and judgment, that try as I may, just are there. But as I open ly recognize that , I am freed to deal with those feelings. It helps to have gay and lesbi an friends who gently confront me about my homophobic feelings. (Their ministry t o me !) As a reconci ler, I need to recognize the roots of the irrational fear of same-sex relationships. In the Protestant tradi tion we ha ve been steeped in a heritage of dualism which splits spiritand body; the belief that the immortal spirit is held temporary prisoner in a mortal body, which is evil and corrupt. Salvation is interpreted then, as escapefrom the "flesh" into the spirituallife. I need to face how that du alism affects my attitude toward my body. Can I appreciate my physical self as a short (1 always wanted to be tall!), overweight, middle-aged woman? Sometimes that' s hard! I also need to accept my sexuality as a gracious gift f rom God who I am as a human being, the masculine and feminine in me. If 1 cannot accept my body/spirit as one, then same-sex relationships are fearful to me -since in my homophobia I would tend to identify gay men and lesbians by sexual behavior alone. That triggers in me not just a fear of samesex feelings I may have, but a fear of sexual feelings, peri od! As a reconc i ler, lOy ca11 is to proclaim the good news of salvati on to all. When we begin to accept ourselves as both masculine and fem inine we discover t hat the el imination of sex-role stereotypes is liberating . We are then able to accept others as they are, as spiritual and sexual beings created by God. The process I struggle with in accepti ng myself must be made available to heterosexual men and women , as well as to lesbi ans and gay men. That involves being vulnerable, but I don't t hink there is any way to avoid vulnerability in the reconciling process. As a reconci ler, I am called to lead all people of the Church, straight and gay, to attitudes of responsi bl e sexual expression. If the sexual self is used as object, then we are alienated from our divinely-intended sexuali ty -and that is sin . As a reconciler, I am called to love those who are homophobic, realizi ng how painful and how frightening it is to change and grow. Our traditional approa ch to homosexuality, our fears of our own sexuality, our agility at prooftexting scripture without al lowing the winds of God's spirit to bring us in- Manna for the Journey / 7 sights of experience, reason, and unconditional love, have built some sturdywalls. My responsibility is to create an atmosphere of acceptance in which change can happen. And that takes a lot of prayer, study, and discussion (don't underestim'ate the power of the Spirit working with you!). Homophobic people in my congregation need to know that I care for them in their pain. To paraphrase an old adage from a prophet of social justice whom I admire: "preach against homophobia, and pastor li ke hell!" I appreciate the steps suggested bythe Reconciling Congregation Program, with emphasis on study, discussion, and prayer, recognizing that the processdoes take ti me. I would suggest getting some help in the study and discussion. Hear the oft-forgotten voices of gay men and lesbians who are willing to be partof that proc~ss. I have a distinct advantage because my son has given me permission to share his experiences -sometimes in my sermons. This has resulted in a kind of giving permission for other parents of lesbians and gay men to come to me wi th gratitude and support. One of the other-steps in the Reconciling Congregation Program that should not be om itted is writing a statement of reconciliation for the congregation. Developing a covenant and being able to celebrate the process by which we arrived at a covenant -this is crucial, for there is something about writing out that makes the relationshiplegitimate:This has been a difficult article to write, I think, because I know that often I am not reconciling. So I need to recognize that there are times when reconciliation is just not possible. People who are homophobic may be too frigh t ened to change; lesbians and gay men may have too much his t ory of pain to be able to accept the ministry of the church family. And if I have loved and cared for people to the extent I have let t he Spirit empower me, then the failure to reconcile is not my personalfailure. There will be people leaving t he church over t~ssue of homophobia.That may bring growth and change and new possibilities for reconciliation. Pray that it be so! Dr. Joseph C. Weber is Professor of Biblical Theology at Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. In coming to gri~~ with an understanding of reconciliation which illuminates our faith journey we c~n begin at the roots of our heritage. It is in the scriptures that we uncover the kernel of meaning which we can then translate into our lives today. For this primal understanding we turn to the letters of Paul. In two powerful passages in his letters, St. Paul uses the word reconciliation ("katalage" in Greek) as he writes of the saving event of Christ's death on the Cross. In the opening chapters of Romans, Paul tells us that, 8 / Manna for the Journey despite our weak, unrighteous sinful natures, we have been justified by Christ. As humans, we had tried to master our own destiny and rebelled against God. As rebellious enemies of God, we had lost our true humanity and had been subjected to the power of sin and death _(Romans 1:20-21;3:23). Then in chapter 5, verse 10, where Paul introduces the word reconciliation. he puts it particularly strongly: h\~hile we were eneruies, we were reconciled to God. 1I We were not reconciled to God because we deserved it nor were we reconciled because some of us were better or more moral than others. No, all of us were enemies of God. God, however, has reconciled us, God's enemies. Paul makes it clear that reconciliation is something God does on our behalf. God has changed the human situation. Reconciliation is, therefore, not a human possibility. It is completely and absolutely an act of divine mercy, which brings about a new reality. In a second passage, II Corinthians 5:18-21, Paul writes of reconciliation in terms of a new creation. In verse 17, he declares, "If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation. 1I God has reconciled the world to God's self in order to bring to fruition the creation. One is now free to live in the world in a new and grac i ous way. Paul concludes this section in II Corinthians by noting, IIFor our sake, God made Christ to be sin who knew no sin so that in Christ we might become the righteousness of God. 1I The reconciliation of the world was a costly act in Christ Jesus, God entered the domain of sin. Paul understands sin not primarily in moral terms, as breaking moral laws or failing to live up to certain standards. Rather, sin, to Paul, is an aggressive, perverting power that causes humans to live in illusion, to walk in self-deception, to rebel against God, and, fi na lly , to fall prey to death (Romans 5:12-14). Christ came into the world under this power of sin and death and freed us. It cost the life of God's son on the cross. It is not just the isolated individual, not just the pious, not just the righteous, but the ungodly, rebellious world that has been reconciled to God and thereby, changed into a new creation. Our reconciliation to God has given us back our genuine humanity as children of God. Reconciliation is an objective, effective, divine change of reality. God in Christ has come into our sinful world, has become subjected to the power of sin, and by his death has destroyed the power of sin over us, reconciling us to God's self. This is the astonishing news of the Gospel. This proclamation by Paul must be understood within the context of the resistance of the self-righteousness of Israel. The Jews of Paul's time wanted to build on their own righteousness. It was unthinkable to them that God would put an end to the Law as a way of salvation (Romans 10:4; Galatians 2:21). Even more unthinkable was that this should happen through the death of a radical Jew dying on a Roman cross. Against such protests, Paul interprets the Cross as the redemptive act of God through which the reconciliation of the ungodly takes place (Galatians 3:13). The people of Israel who pursued righteousness based on the Law, by contrast, did not succeed in reaching God's righteousness (Romans 9:31-32). Paul declares that those who think they can gain life by their own moral integrity are bound to resist the proclamation of the Cross. Reconciliation on the Cross remains for them, a scandal. Paul's interpretation of the Cross reflects Jesus' own ministry. The Pharisees resisted Jesus because he exhibited a sovereign freedom in anticipation of the coming of the Kingdom of God. Jesus reversed the Law's concerns, declaring that the Law is not an end in Manna jor the Journey / 9 ~~~ itself, but is there to serve human beings (Mark 2:27). Jesus celebrated the presence of the Kingdom of God by inviting tax collectors and sinners to join him and his disciples in festival meals, acts that enraged the Pharisees because eating with the tax collectors and sinners was in total disregard of the Law (Matthew 11:19; Mark 2:15; Luke 8:2-3). Yet, as acts of joy and of deadly protest against the old order, those meals became a parable of the reconciling presence of God in the midst of humanity. Jesus sealed this reconciling presence of God once and for all in his death on the Cross. God vindicated Jesus' open fellowship and established it for all people. As Paul wrote: "God was in Christ reconciling the world to God's se1f" (II Corinthians 5:19). This new fellowship was the church, the sign and reality of God's act of reconciliation of the world. After announcing God's reconciliation in Christ, Paul calls the Christians in Corinth to be ambassadors for Christ. Reconciliation as the new reality of humankind is to be witnessed to, and made concrete, in the life of the church. In the community of believers the world is to see what it already truly is in Christ and what the world's final destiny is. To the church, to us, has been entrusted the message of reconciliation. Unfortunately we must confess that the church has not always been -and still not always is -a sign of God's reconciliation of the world. Frequently, the church just reflects the self-righteousness of the world. Too often, we who are the church succumb to the temptation to withdraw into a parochialism where we are in fellowship only with the kind of people who we like and with whom we feel at ease. The encountering of those who are physically challenged, poor, or homosexual persons can make us feel uncomfortable. It is easier to be exclusive than inclusive. However, we must remind ourselves that the church is not simply a religious fellowship of like-minded people. On the contrary, it is a community which is the sign of the costly reconciliation brought about by Christ's blood on the Cross. The basis of the open fellowship of the church is not some kind of liberal tolerance or humanistic acceptance of other persons. The church's fellowship is founded upon God's reconciling of the world in Jesus Christ, the sovereign initiative of divine mercy. To refuse to live in this new reality is to continue in the rebellion of se1frighteousness against God. While concern for the inclusion of all people within the church can appear to be divisive, we remember that Paul dealt with disputes and tensions over deep theological issues that were dividing Rome. In Romans 14 and 15, Paul reminded the community that Christ is Lord and that no one should despise a Christian brother of sister because of these differences of opinion (14:9-10). The reconciliation in Christ takes precedence over these disputes about lifestyle (14:1-8). Because we have been reconciled to God by God, so we should be reconciled to one another. "Welcome one another, therefore, as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God" (15:7). What conclusions should we draw from Paul's exposition of reconciliation for the acceptance of gay men and lesbians in our churches? The church has not often been a welcoming community in the name of Christ, but a rejecting and despising community. Gay men and lesbians have been excluded because they have not fit into certain roles with which most Christians felt comfortable. Rather than being a sign of God's reconciliation to the world, the church has been a sign of hostility and rejection to lesbians and gay men. To those of us in the United Methodist Church, the Reconciling Congregation Program, offers an opportunity to change this stance, so that we may better reflect the reconciling love of God in Christ in the life of our congregations. Given the hostile history and the complexity of the issues, it may not be easy, but this openness is an obedient response that has its foundation in the reconciling death of Chri st on the Cross. II For Chri st did not please himself, but as it is written, 'The reproaches of those who reproached thee fell on me'" (Romans 15:3). Because God reconciled us, we can be reconciled to one another. 10 / Manna jor the Journey t 1 Estrangement -the act of taking away or keeping at a distance, alienating, separating by enmit.Y or indifference. Reconciliation -the act of beingfriendly again, bringing back to harmony, adjusting, settling differences, reuniting. ent Estrangement develops over a periodof time, separating loved ones from one another. Likewise, reconciliation has to be intentionally developed with harmonyrestored over a period of time -usually Howard and Millie Eychaner are semi-retired from a household moving business and members of First United Met hodist Church in DeKalb, I llinoi s. a much longer time than separation takes. Our family had no more nor less family squabbles than any other family, yet we were acquainted with estrangement. As the children matured during the Vietnam War period, we had much maturing to do to keep abreast of their protest thoughts and actions. One son had conscientious-objector draft status and served in a community center in Chicago; one son was a teacher in Morocco as a Peace Corps volunteer; one son left college and volunteered to pastor two small churches in central Illinois; and our daughter quit her university to spend two years working in a state mental hospital. These were not easyyears for us; however, we all struggled to maintain our family connections. Manytimes we did not know where each was, as they spent their lives in service to others. Our early support for President Nixon was probably what separated us from our oldest son for the longest period of time, but gradually he accepted the fact that we too had changed and a piece of reconciliation took place. On the few times we were together we reaffirmed our love for and appreciation of each ot her. Manna for the Journey / 11 After our youngest finished college, he enrolled in St. Paul School of Theology, in Kansas City, as a seminarystudent. One day in his second year there, Rich reappeared at our familyowned business with the statement that he had quit seminary, was home, wanted a job, and did not want to talk about it. And he didn't! We entered a period of estrangement that lasted nearly five awful years. This was the son with whom we had communicated at many levels. We once had known when he was going to telephone us before our phone rang; what books he liked; what gifts to give. Now we had lit1e communication at any level. We each tried to regain some of the closeness we had known, but little was said beyond the superficial "Good morning how are you? -it is a sunny or rainy day" level. One year at Christmas time, we were told that all Rich wanted for Christmas was a doll. So among his other gifts we included a small, blonde, blue-eyeddoll, which after opening the package,he promptly threw across the room with the statement, "There is more than one ki nd of doll in the world! II What had we done? Did he want a brunette or redheaded doll instead of a blonde one? There was no answer. Only anger. How could we have guessed that he wanted a boy doll -and preferably a human one? The years went by with each of us "walking on eggs" to keep from starting a torrent of angry, rebellious words. Finally, with his father's help, Rich started a business of his own in Iowa and moved away from the family home. The business became successful, and he, apparently, was in charge of his life. Still, our family ties remained tense. Whenever we we re together, each of us longed to talk with the other to regain a semblance of deep conversation. But if we started the conversation, Rich turned in another direction. If he tried to talk with us, something prevented it. No longer were we able to use "ESP", except through our shared knowledge of our sorrow for each other. We now know that he wanted to start the conversation about sexuality, but such a discussion was foreign to us. However, things were developing which culminated during a Thanksgiving week. Thanksgiving is a time of reJolclng, celebration, and family dinners. During this particular Thanksgiving week, Rich was in California and would not be home for the festivities, but he telephoned us in the evening. He asked us if we had received his letter, and, upon being told that we had not, he said we would receive it soon and that he would call us when he returned to Iowa. The following day we did receive a loving letter from him in which he shared his sexual orientation with us, his desire for a loving partner, and that if we could not accept the fact that he was gay, he loved us enough to go away and not bother us again. He had the courage to risk permanent separation from his family so that he could quit living a 1 i e with us. We1 1 , hall e 1 u j a h ! Who could turn away such a son? The reconciliation had begun and we only had to intent iona11 y bu i 1 d on it. Within a few days we had a long telephone conversation and made plans to spend the next weekend with him. We talked and cried together for hours, went to church with him, adding more threads to our reconciliation tapestry.We learned of the pain he had lived with for years, the knowledge he had known of his differentness from childhood, the awareness that he wuld no longer lie to anyone about his sexual orientation. As we look back, we now know Rich was preparing us for his statement for a long time so that we would not be devastated by his openness. He had given us books to read such as Consenting Adults; he had asked us to watch the television show liThe Word I s Out; II he had asked us to watch Phil Donahue shows on homosexuality. We had heard him preach a sermon including gay men and lesbians in his litany of lIoutsiders and forgotten ones. II We had also discussed what we would do if we learned that one or more of our children were gay. Th2 pain of estrangement was far greater than the knowledge of homosexuality in the family. The pain of working towards reconciliation was rewarded with joy. Our son intentionally gave us education, love, and opportunity to exploresexuality. He answered our crazy questions. He encouraged us to tell anyone 12 / Manna for the Journey we wanted to about his sexual orientathe process of reconciliation, gay men tion when we felt comfortable doing so. and lesbians are in the unique position He gave us words to use when we sought of being able to initiate and nurture help. We, then, did not have to hide the process. They are the only ones who either, and we shared with our pastors, can inform parents who they, as children close friends, and some relatives. We real,ly are; how they are the same chi 1searched for answers from books, other dren they have always been; how the lesbians and gay men, and, finally, from parents are not to blame; how they did other parents. We located the organizanot "choose a lifestyle" as a way to tion known as PFLAG -International rebel against or punish their parents. Organization of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and gay men need to be patient Lesbians and Gays. with parents. Parents cannot be expected In this process of being with other to absorb new knowledge and slough off a lesbians and gay men, we learned of lifetime of stereotypical myths and long-standing estrangements that make us images the first week of knowledge of weep for all concerned. We have held in homosexuality within the family. Even our arms the man who told us of his after years of openness, we still find childhood during which he was always places of nonsharing -particularly with told by his father that if he ever got some extended family members wh o cannot in trouble his father would be there to share our enthusiasm for and pride in help him -even if he were ever arrested all our children. But we keep working, for murder. But the son said, "The day I and, who knows, maybe someday we will be told my father I was gay, he gave me $25 able to confront them in a loving manner and told me to leave the house and never so that they, too, will understand that to return. I guess homosexuality is if God created and loves us, God created worse than murder." and loves all of us. We know of a church musician who has In addition to the joy of reconcilianot worked in her profession for nearly tion, we find growth in our lives as the twenty years because she lost her posigreatest reward for having taken the tion when she identified herself as a risk of involvement with gay and lesbian lesbian. Such a waste of talent and issues. We are aware of all kinds of creativity is a sin. discrimination; we are less judgmental. We know of a lesbian couple who The loving response we receive from gay cannot share Christmas together because men, lesbians, and their parents is payeach family will not let their daughter ment greater than we could have imagined bring her lover home with her. We have when we started on the pursuit of reconlearned how our culture forces all peoci 1i ati on. ple into heterosexual marriages with reWe covet this joy for others. Since sultinging pain, sorrow, and estrangeparents of lesbians and gay men are the ment for some. As we have been friends best support they can have, gay men and with wives of gay men, we know lives of lesbians need to continually try for innocent adults and children have been communication with their parents. There harmed by these cultural forces. are chapters of Parents FLAG in many cities across the country. (For inforReconciliation can become estrangemation, contact: Parents FLAG; P.O. Box ment through time. We have in mind the 24565; Los Angeles, CA 90024.) Everyone parents of a gay man who have been poliwho needs Parents FLAG is encouraged to tically active and supportive of gay ismake contact with one of them and become sues but who are now being told by their involved. Continue to work for reconson to "cool it." This hurts and bewilciliation within the United Methodist ders the parents. The reason is that the Church -even though the recent General son has a new lover who feels threatened Conference delegates turned us out and by the activities of the parents. We thereby increased our institutional eshave confidence that the parents will trangement. Work through the Reconciling survive even this threat to their wellCongregation Program, Affirmation, or being. Parents can be flexible and enany other group that strives for reconduring! cili ation. Speak up for all our sons and While parents need to be active in dau ghters -and the joy will be yours! Manna for the Journey / 13 With the words "justice, justice you shall pursue •.." God calls us to actively seek justice. In ancient times the shofar, the ram's horn, was used to call together the courts of justice. Today we blow our shofar in the form of commitment as reconcilers to examine justice and injustice. How can people who live with injustice celebrate justice? We begin by examining the history of the people of God and the history of lesbians and gay men and other oppressed peoples. We can learn of progress made toward justice in the past and dedicate ourselves to continuing efforts for justice in the future. Litany of Reconciliation God, we are a pilgrim people, traveling through the wilderness. They demand that we sing -but how can we sing our God's song in a land with injustice and oppression? We are called to be like Moses and Miriam leading our people in a dance of freedom. We follow the cloud and fire before us. God, spark us and enable us to share our fire with others. We proclaim today that creation is good, that we are good. We affirm that you have searched us and known us, And have knit us in our mother's womb. We affirm that we all are created in God's image; And as that image of God we rise and name oppression and injustice wherever we find it -society, ourselves, our church. Today we commit to reconcile our vision of the new heaven and the new earth with the reality around us. We do this as co-workers with you, God, our creator and liberator, our completer and perfector, our comforter and sustainer. Prayer God of truth and justice, the evasions we practice upon others and upon ourselves are many. We long only to speak and to hear truth, yet time and again, from fear of loss or hope of gain, from dull habit or from cruel deliberation, we speak half-truths, we twist facts, we are silent when others lie, and we lie to ourselves. Like gay men and lesbians we often feel forced to pretend to be that which we are not, to present ourselves in ways which are not truthful, and sometimes with outright lies. But as we stand before You, our words and our thoughts speed to You, who knows them before we utter them. We do not have to tell the untruths to you as we are often forced to do in the world. We know we cannot lie in Your presence. Amen. 14 / Manna for the Journey i Being reconcilers does not always come easily. Besides good will reconciliation requires knowledge and a willingness to explore new areas. Below is a list of books and other resources available to help persons who choose to take a reconciling stance between the church and the lesbian/gay community. This is a select list. The criteria used includes: openness and affirmaticn of lesbians and gay men as whole people: availability: and the quality of the work as an introductory piece. The resources are organized by topics. including a few recommended titles for each topic. BIBLE Edwards. George R. Gay/Lesbian Liberation: A Biblical Perspective. New York: Pilgrim Press. 1984. An explanation. on biblical grounds. of gay/lesbian liberation as a legitimate genre within liberation theology: examines homophobia as an unbiblical response and constructs a sexual ethic of ~as bibl ical and appropriate for all persons. no matter the sexual orientation. McNeil. John. The Church and the Homosexual. Kansas City: Sheed. Andrews, and McMeel, 1976. A thorough examinaticn of homosexuality from the perspectives of scripture, tradition. and the social sciences: a pioneering work when first published. Unfortunately, it's out of print, but many libraries will have it. Scanzoni. Letha and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the Homosexual my Neighbor? San Francisco: Harper and Row. 1978. A look at the challenge for ministry posed by lesbians and gay men: written by two women in the evangelical tradition. Scroggs, Robin. The New Testament and Homosexuality. Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1983. A review of the New Testament's treatment of homosexuality and the Judaic background against which it was formed: a solid, scholarly work. THEOLOGY Batchelor. Edward. Jr. Homosexuality and Ethics. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1980. A collecticn of opinions by various authors in the field of theology and ethics. Contains critiques of various popular viewpoints. Fortunato, John E. Embracing the Exile. New York: Seabury Press. 1982. An openly gay author speaks to gay men and lesbians struggling for justice in the church: a good resource for pastoral counselors. Nelson, James. Embodiment. Minneapolis. MN: Augsburg Publishing House, 1978. Written on the broader topic of human sexuality. this book contains one chapter on homosexuality. Helpful, because it puts concerns in the larger· context of human relationships. Manna for the Journey / 15 Boswell. John. Christianity. Social Tolerance. and Homosexuality. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 1980. A pioneering portrayal of the church's treatment of homosexual persons. as well as the relationship between sociology. scripture. and cultural moral standards: academic in approach. with intriguing footnotes. Katz. Jonathan. Gay American History. New York: Crowell. 1976. This documents the many ways in which persons acted upon their homosexuality in earlier American settings: helpful in that it brings to light the many people and events written out of "official" history. Klaich. Dolores. Woman + Woman: Attitudes Towards Lesbianism. New York: Simon [;. Schuster. 1974; William Morrow. 1975. An early. but comprehensive writing about lesbianism. Shilts. Randy. The Mayor of Castro Street. New York: St. Martin's Press. 1982. On the surface. it's the biography of poli tical activist Harvey Mi Ik; it's also a rich and fascinating review of the recent lesbian/gay political movement. Wolff. Deborah. The Lesbian Community. Berkeley. CA: University of California Press. 1979. A review of trn history and cultural patterns of lesbians in the San Francisco Bay area. FAMILY Borhek. Mary V. My Son Eric. New York: Pilgrim Press. 1979. The moving story of an evangelical Christian mother's journey to a deepened spirituality and acceptance of her gay son. Both parents and gay/lesbian children will find this an aid in building understanding and opening lines of communication. Fairchild. Betty and Nancy Hayward. Now That You Know. New York: Harcourt. Brace. Jonavich. 1979. Stories and advice by two mothers. one of a lesbian. the other of a gay man. Topically oriented. it is addressed to parents and other family members who are struggling with the reality of a lesbian/gay relative. Gantz. Joe. Whose Child Cries: Children of Gay Parents Talk About Their Lives. Rolling Hills Estates. CA: Jalmar Press. 1983. Stories culled from interviews with chi Idren of lesbian/gay parents. Good for pastora I counselors and older children (14 years+) of lesbian/gay parents. Jones. Clinton. Understanding Gay Relatives and Friends. New York: Seabury Press. 1978. A book of case studies of how lesbians and gay men and their families coped with the knowledge that a loved one is lesbian or gay. HEALTH The Diagram Group. Woman's Body: An Owner's Manual. New York: Simon and Schuster. 1981. Written for a general audience of women. with one chapter focused on heal th issues of special concern to lesbians. 16 / Manna for the Journey Kassler# Jeanne. Gay Men's Heal tho New York: Harper (;. Row# 19S3. With the advent of Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has come an increased awareness among gay men to take responsibility for health maintenance and prevention; gives basic facts and tips. Mayer. Ken and Hank Pizer. The AIDS Fact Book. New York: Bantam Books. 19S3. AIDS is one of the major health crises of the 19S0s. It is also bringing about major changes in the gay community. This is a must in understanding both the disease and its social consequences. LEGAL Curry. Hayden and Denis Clifford. Legal Guide for Lesbians and Gay Couples. Reading. MA: Addison-Welsey. 19S0. A guidebook to negotiating matters of practical living which confronts lesbian/gay couples; topics include buying and selling property. wills. powers of attorney. etc. The Gay Writers Group. It Could Happen to You: An Account of the Gay Rights Campaign in Eugene. Oregon. Boston: Alyson Publications. 19S3. The May 1975 struggle was lost. but much was learned along the way; a valuable resource for pastors and other church leaders confronted wi th controversies surrounding proposed ordinances in local communities. The Rights of Gay People: An ACLU Handbook. New York: Bantam Books. 19S3. A concise authoritative guide to securing and/or protecting legal rights of lesbians and gay men. Topics include employment. housing. the armed services. security clearances. and family laws. PERSONAL TESTIMONY Boyd# Malcolm. Take Off the Masks. Garden City. NJ: Doubleday. 1975. The well-known Episcopalian spiritual teacher tells of his own struggle to reconcile his sexuality and spirituality. Brown# Rita Mae. Rubyfruit Jungle. New York: Bantam Books. 19S0. Fiction; a novel which portrays a lesbian as a full person; warm. funny. and pol i ticall y powerful. McNaught. Brian. A Disturbed Peace. Washington. D.C.: Dignity. Inc. 19S1. A collectim of columns on various topics written by a gay Roman Catholic for lesbian/gay newspapers around the country. Moore# Paul. Jr. Take a Bishop Like Me. New York: Harper (;. Row. 1979. An autobiographical account by the Episcopal ian bishop of New York. Moore describes his role in the decision to ordain women in that church. and his reasons for ordaining a lesbian. Pennington. Sylvia. But Lord. They're Gay. Hawthorne. CA: Lamba Christian Fellowship. 19S2. The story of a woman from the evangel ical tradi tion who felt called to a ministry with lesbians and gay men and then found her prejudices challenged. Manna for the Journey / 17 FOR THOSE COMING OUT Borhek. Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-way Survival Guide. New York: Pilgrim Press. 19S3. Especially good for those families who want to stay together when the unexpected news is initially shared. this book gives advice for both the parent and the lesbian or gay child. Clark. Donald Henry. Loving Someone Gay. Milbrae.CA: Celestial Arts. 1977. For those struggling to build a positive self-identity once they've come to terms with a same sex orientation; more oriented to gay men. Stanley. Julia Penelope and Susan J. Wolff. eds. The Coming Out Stories. Watertown. MA: Persephone Press. 19S0. A diverse collection of stories of women describing their process of claiming a lesbian identity and learning to love themselves. Vida. Ginny. Our Right to Love. New York: Prentice-Hall. 1975. A comprehensive resource book on lesbianism and lesbian organizations. STUDIES Bell. Alan P. and Martin S. Weinberg. Homosexualities: A Study in Diversity Among Men and Women. New York: Simon £;. Schuster. 1975. The first study of the diversity of lifestyle and self-expressi01 among lesbians and gay men; pastoral counselors and those interested in the sociology of homosexuality will find this a valuable resource. Bell. Alan P. et al. Sexual Preference. Bloomington. IN: Indiana University Press. 19S1. A follow-up to the earlier Homosexualities study; explores the origins and early sexual experiences of lesbians and gay men. Blumstein. Philip and Pepper Schwartz. American Couples. New York: William Morrow. 19S3. A review of coupling among gay men. lesbians. and heterosexual persons. Highly informative because of the comparisons it makes among its three population groups. STUDY GUIDES "Christians and Homosexuality." A collection of articles published by The Other Side magezine. Available for $1.50 [10 or more. $1 each) from: The otiler Side. 300 W. Apsley Street. Philadelphia. PA 191~~. Includes: Can Homosexuals Change?; Putting a New Face on Homosexuality; Untangling the Web; Under the Care of the Meeting; Where to Turn. "Homosexuality: A Re-examination." elsa forum n60 [March 19S0). Available for $.75 each from the Board of Church and Society of the United Methodist Church. 100 Maryland Avenue.NE. Washington. DC 20002. Includes: Reflections on the Gay Life; How Would Jesus Relate to Homosexuality; I Came to Know Lesbians; All of Us Are Persons of Sacred Worth; Who Are We to Judge Anyway?; One Church Struggles wi th the Issue of Homosexuality; Living on the Edge of Two Ccrnmunities. "Homosexuality and the Church." A four-part study series written by Mary Jo Osterman. Kit [leader's guide. bibliography. and participant's packet) available for $6.00 from Kinheart. Inc.• 221~ Ridge. Evanston. IL 60201. 18 / Manna for the Journey Teaching Guide Human Rights Foundation. Demystifying Homosexuality: A , about Lesbians and Gay Men. New York: Irvington Publ ishers. Inc.. 1984. A comprehensive guidebook for teaching high school students. but can be very useful with other age groups. (195 pages). Available from $12.95 [plus $1.75 prepaid shipping) from Todd Publications. PO Box 1097. Lenox Hill Station. New York. NY 10021. "Report of the Task Force on Homosexuality and the Church to the 30th General Assembly of the United Church of Canada." in United Church Observer. April 1984. Available for $1.00 by writing: The United Church Observer. 85 St. Clair Avenue. E•• Toronto. Ontario. CANADA M4T 1M8 Smith. Leon. ed. Homosexuality: In Search of a Christian Understanding. Nashville: Discipleship Resources. 1981. Published by Discipleship Resources. this includes: The Bible and Homosexuality [Victor Paul Furnish); Theological/Ethical Perspectives on Homosexuality [James C. Logan); and Pastoral Care and Homosexual ity [David K. Switzer). MEDIA RESOURCES "A Position of Faith." A film about William Johnson. the first openly gay man ordained in the United Church of Christ. Contact: UCC Audio-Visuals. 1505 Race Street. Philadelphia. PA 19102. "Lots of Queer Quakers. Some of Whom are Gay." A videotape of personal stories avai lable for the cost of duplication. postage. and handl ing. Contact: St. Marie Unlimited Productions. University Friends Meeting. 4001 9th NE. Seattle. WA 98105. Telephone: 206/632-7006. "Pink Triangles." 1982. A film featuring black. Asian. Native American. and Latino lesbians and gay men discussing stereotypes which society has about them. 35 min. Study guide available. Contact: Cambridge Documentary Fi Ims. Box 385. Cambridge. MA 02139. Telephone: 617/354-3677. "The Times of Harvey Milk." To be released spring 1985. A videotape of a movie released commercially during the fall 1984 whidl portrays the life and times which surrounded openly gay politician Harvey Milk in San Francisco. 1984 Academy Award winner for best documentary feature. Contact: TeleCulture Productions. 212/807-1877. "The Word Is Out: Stories of our Lives." A fi 1m originally broadcast on public television; contains stories and anecdotes by lesbians and gay men. Contact: New Yorker Films. 16 W. 61 Street. New York. NY. Telephone: 212/267-6110. YOUTH/ADOLESCENTS Fricke. Aaron. Reflections of a Rock Lobster. Boston: Alyson Publications. 1983. The true story of a young mal who challenged his hi gh school classmates to accept his homosexuality as positively as he accepted it himself; warm and humorous. as well as enlightening. Heron. Ann. ed. One Teenager in Ten: Writing; by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson Publications. 1983. Life stories on a variety of topics ranging from dealing with parents. new love relationships. and growing up with a gay/lesbial self-identity. Manna for the Journey / 19 Gay and Proud. Boston: Alyson Publicatiors. 1980. A booklet written by gay/lesbian youth in the street language of today. FOR COUNSELORS Babuscio. John. We Speak for Ourselves. Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1977. A guidebook of case histories written specifically for counselors by lesbians and gay men who are professional counselors themselves. Topics covered include homophobia. internalized oppression. and family relationships. Moses. Elfin. and Robert O. Hawkins. eds. Counseling Lesbian Women and Gay Men. St Louis: Mosby. 1982. Professional psychotherapists take the approach of look ing at life issues common to all persons and the unique ways they may arise in lesbians and gay men: contains bibliography. Urhig. Larry. Just the Two of Us. Boston: Alyson Publicatiors. 1984. A guide to building and maintaining gay/lesbian relationships. written by an openly gay pastor to a lesbian/gay audience. A good resource with couples. NEWSPAPERS A number of communities around the country have good newspapers published by local lesbian/gay communities. Most can be found in bookstores or places of public entertainment. Some of the major publications and their city are: The Advocate. Los Angeles. CA The Alabama Forum. Birmingham. AL Au Courant. Philadelphia. PA Bay Area Reporter. San Francisco. CA Bay Windows. Boston. MA The Body Politic. Toronto. ON. CANADA The California Voice. San Fran. CA The Cascade Voice. Seattle. WA The Connection. Long Island. NY Cruise. Detroi t. MI The Dallas Voice. Dallas. TX The Empty Closet. Rochester. NY Equal Time. Minneapolis. MN The Front Page. Raleigh. NC Gay Communi ty News. Boston. MA Gay Life. Chicago. IL Gayly Oklahoman. Oklahoma City. OK Gay News. Philadelphia. PA Gay News Telegraph. Missouri The Gay Paper. Baltimore. MD The Gayzette. San Diego. CA The Gaze. Memphis. TN The GLC Voice. Minneapolis. MN Just Out. Portland. OR Le Mensuil Rg. Montreal. qE. CANADA Lesbian News. Los Angeles. CA The Montrose Voice. Houston. TX News. Columbus. OH NYC News. New York. NY The New York Native. New York. NY No Bad News. St. Louis. f\IO Off Our Backs. Washington. DC Our Own. Norfolk. VA Out. Madison. WI Out. Pittsburgh. PA Out Front. Denver. CO Pulse. Atlanta. GA Seattle Gay News. Seattle. WA The Sentinel. San Francisco. CA The Calendar. San Antonio. TX The Star. Austin. TX The Weekly News. Miami. FL The Works. Indianapol is. IN This Week in Miss•• Mississippi The Washington Blade. Washington. DC The Western Express. Phoeni x. AZ Your/Our Paper. Santa Clara. CA Additional copies of this annotated bibliography are available for $.50 each from: Reconciling Congregation Program. P.O. Box 24213. Nashville. TN 37202. 20 / Manna for the Journey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 1 - Be Ye Reconciled https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/529b8c2b5b1a6ad643e3b12fb3d01a55.pdf 2e9899ea75401201416f7771d551edc3 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 2 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1985 Publication Date The date the issue was published Fall Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1 D JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 NO.2 VOL. 10 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION [J NO.2 Contents This issue of Manna for the Journey is dedicated to the memory of Michael Collins. Michael, a former United Methodist pastor. a founder and long-time leader ofAffirmation, a gay man, died ofAIDS on October 15, 1984. In this issue, we focus on how individuals, congregations, and communities can respond to the terriying sickness which can no longer be labeled "the gay disease." Writings by Michael Collins are found in "Gentle, Angry Love" (p. 6), In "Who Would Blame AIDS Victims" (p. 8), Ignacio Castuera confronts those who would argue that AIDS is a punishment from God. "Two Communities Respond to AIDS, " (p. 14) by John Hannay and Jeremy Landau, provides crucial presuppositions and guidelines that have been gleaned from their AIDS-related work. Mark Bowman's "Finding a Family" (p. 4) recounts the author's friendship with a gay man who had AIDS. Nancy Carter sketches the response ofNew York's Washington Square UMC in ':4 Ministry ofBereavement" (p. 9). Answering more specific health questions, Dr. Micheal Pistole uncovers "Facts and Fears about AIDS" (p. 11). Lest we direct all our health-related concerns toward AIDS, Mary Gaddis writes about "Lesbian Health Issues" (p. 12). Elsewhere in this issue, we offer a listing of organizations and a brief bibliography on AIDS in Resources (p. 22). In Sustaining the Spirit, Beth Richardson presents an antiphonal reading, "Prayer ofa Young Man: A Community Lament" (p. 17). Richardson is a graduate ofVanderbilt Divinity School and is a freelance writer for religious publications. The RCP Report (p. 18) continues its introduction of Reconciling Congregations, shares news about the Harvey Milk School, and presents resolutions related to lesbian/gay concerns which were passed at annual conferences ofthe UMC. We hope that this issue of Manna for the J ourney will be an important contribution to your understanding of and ministry to persons with AIDS. We welcome your letters, your comments, and your suggestions. Shalom. 2 IManna for the Journey ISSH 0884-8327 sharing that I found in the first copy were very interesting and motivating. Thank you! -Goft~ KS Your new magazine Manna for the Journey is attractive, and the articles interesting, often moving, and well worth reading. Thanks. -Washington, DC Issue one is wonderful! Keep up the good work. -Poughkeepsie, NY One error we made in the first issue brought a letter and a correction: As a former UMC clergyperson, I can truly appreciate the importance of your work. I hope that Manna gets to a lot of .Methodists. I personally have little hope for change in the UMC. Nevertheless, I 'want to encourage you. Thank you for listing my book as a resource in your bibliography. Could you please correct your listing as it is wrong in two places. My name is misspelled, and the title of the book is wrong. It should be listed as follows: Uhrig, Larry J. The Two of Us: Affirming, Celebrating, and Symbolizing Gay and Lesbian Relationships. The first issue of Manna for the Journey elicited a strong positive response. The mailbox has been busy with many subscriptions arriving (over 350 so far). We have received subscriptions from individuals, families, local churches, and church agencies of several denominations. The notes ofencouragement written on subscriptions forms and the letters of support have been particularly heartening. Here is a sampling of some of the unsolicited comments we have received: I found the first issue to be well done and very helpful in its way of presenting information. Keep up the good work! -Baltimore, MD I just read Volume I, Number I and it is so fine. Please put our church on the mailing list -New Orleans, LA I really appreciate the first issue of Manna for the Journey. A friend shared hers with me. The ideas and The journal looks great! I appreciate the fact that Affirmation is louder and stronger after General Conference. -Tucson, AZ Thank you for your efforts! -Newton Centre, MA But I haven't been inside a Methodist church in years-though my grandfather was a preacher. Perhaps my threads weren't good enough. Then again, I never had white sidewall tires on my Cadillac. -Colorado Springs, CO Thank you for your important work. -Rev. Larry Uhrig, Pastor Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, DC We invite your comments and letters on any aspect of the j ournal and our work. Manna for the Journey is one vehicle for the cries and hopes of marginalized and oppressed people to be fulfilled. Your feedback is needed in the journey toward our shared vision of a church that is truly the inclusive people ofGod. Your subscription is much appreciated. We hope you will continue to share your interest in Manna for the Journey and the concerns of lesbians and gay men with others. -The editors Manila for the Jounzey / 3 Findin by Mark Bowman am V· Mark Bowman is a graduate ofBoston Unimsity School of Theology a F: iI;J-and presently is on the staJ! ofBreadforthe World in Washingtoll, D.C Anxious to get home after two weeks of travel-: Stephen had lived abroad for the six years since ing, I called Ron from the airport to let him his high school graduation. A few months earlier, he know that I had missed that last connecting had been very ill and had been hospitalized in flight and wouldn't be back until the next morning. Europe. The doctors there suspected he had AIDS During our conversation, Ron told me we had a and strongly urged him to return to the United States house guest. Hesitating slightly, he continued, "His for proper diagnosis and treatment. name is Stephen, and he has AIDS." When I did not Soon thereafter, Stephen returned to his family reply, Ron went on quickly: "He's only staying with home in a suburban area outside Washington, D.C. us temporarily -until he finds a permanent place to Within a few days, Stephen realized that his mother stay. I've talked with our doctor, and he confirmed and stepfather were not at all pleased to have him that Stephen cannot transmit anything to us by home. They arranged for their church pastor to talk casual contact. Actually, he has more to fear from with Stephen about his "errant" homosexual ways. contracting disease from us than we do from him." Feeling rejected, Stephen left the family home to stay Noting the lack of insecurity in Ron's voice and his with friends. After another serious bout with pneuapparent pleasure in having Stephen in our home, mocystis carinii and another stay in the hospital, my initial anxiety developed into curiosity to get Stephen was referred to Washington's AIDS Educahome to learn more about the situation. tion Fund for support services. The program manager there called Ron and asked if we would provide emergency housing for Stephen. The next five months were a multifaceted crash course -in learning about AIDS and how a person with AIDS (PWA) copes with the disease; in relating to a newfound friend who was dying; in struggling with the perennial issue of theodicy (why evil happens in God's world); and in trying to discern how God's grace was evident in this tragic situation. Dealing with a loved one who is terminally ill is one of the most profound experiences of our humanity. But I also had to respond to Stephen's own questions: Might AIDS be a punishment for his gay lifestyle? Was suicide an ethical option to weeks or months of extreme physical suffering? How was one to create a family and home in which to die after being rejected by "blood" family? home. His outgoing friendliness and sometimes cutting wit infused new life into our daily routines. After a week, Ron and I invited him to stay with us on a long-term basis. True to his nomadic past, Stephen simply acknowledged our invitation. But over the next few days I watched with a hidden smile as he gradually unpacked the few bags and boxes that contained his earthly treasures and settled into our home. Stephen exhibited scant evidence of the physical deterioration and pain raging inside his body during his early weeks with us. It would have been possible to deny the reality of his illness. But I suspected that I ~ .. , ~~~~~==~~§=1 Stephen's affable presence quickly permeated our 4/Manna for the Journey would find myself in situations previously unknown to me as time passed. I sought out help and guidance from pastoral-counselor friends and read materials on death and dying. I soon discovered, however, that I learned most from Stephen himself. We talked often about AIDS and about dying. Our conversations steered a course that was realistic, but not morose. It was difficult to answer Stephen's questions about why this had happened to him. I could tell him, with confidence, that God was not punishing him for his past lifestyle. But the "why" questions were unanswerable. It was easy to say that tragedy is evident in human existence, that society is wrong when it all too often makes the victims of tragedy bear the responsibility for it, that there are larger social forces that manifest evil. But why has AIDS happened?; why does it affect gay men especially?; why is there no successful treatment? Most importantly, why was Stephen a victim of this terrible tragedy? I could only attempt to respond to that tragedy -with love. The major contradiction in Stephen's life was his need for physical intimacy -for comfort in dying -juxtaposed with the nature of his illness, which kept most people at a distance from him. I saw how PWAs are treated as the lepers of our society. Some friends would invite Ron and me to a party and then add in a hushed voice that, of course, we understood why it would be inappropriate for Stephen to attend. After one hospitalization, we waited hours for much-needed oxygen equipment to arrive, only to discover that the oxygen company that normally filled the hospital's orders refused to deliver the equipment to the home of an AIDS patient. My own fears soon dissipated as I grew to love Stephen dearly and learned that his fears could be quieted by a touch on the arm or an embrace. I began to realize how important physicality and touching were in my life and despaired to consider what it would be like to approach my death and discover that any human embrace was being denied to me. Stephen and friends in his AIDS support group often joked and marveled about the power they held over other persons. They could clear a crowded restaurant simply by standing and announcing they had AIDS. They could strike terror into people by standing on a sidewalk, shaking hands with passersby and distributing cards that read "I am a person with AIDS." Ifthey were ever threatened by a mugger, they had only to say, "I have AIDS, and I'll spit on you!" Talk of such impish actions was a way to cope with being seen as social pariahs and with their extreme isolation and loneliness. To withstand those forces that threatened to destroy his own self-worth, Stephen worked diligently to maintain his sense of dignity. He prided himself on his personal appearance -always clean, clothes freshly laundered and pressed, hair shampooed and cut, an ever-lingering scent of cologne. He feared contracting Kaposi's sarcoma, with its skin lesions that would mark him publicly as an AIDS patient. He worked as many days as he was physically able so he could remain financially independent and assist with our household expenses. He exercised his love for travel until his weakened condition precluded it. He harangued hospital staff who served his meals with disposable accoutrements until he received the same plates and silverware as other patients. For a short time, Stephen was a patient at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in their research/ treatment program. Then he reverted to private medical care. The program at NIH offered free medical care to PWAs while the medical staff there experimented with different treatments to try to halt the irreversible development of the disease. Stephen observed that the patients in the program usually extended their life spans but often at a cost of reduced quality of life. The various side effects of the treatments often made their physical suffering even worse. Stephen selected a sympathetic doctor and embarked on a program of medication to ease his pain while allowing the AIDS virus to pursue its course. He strictly instructed us and his other friends that, in case of impending death, he was not to be sustained on life-support systems. Instead, he wished to die comfortably and peacefully. . Stephen approached death as he approached life -with a zestfuljoie de vivre. During his months With us, he became well-acquainted with our neighbors (including some I had not known before) and spent many evenings talking and laughing on their patios until he was overcome by fatigue. He resolved to live until summer so that he could relish the glory of springtime in Washington. He even arranged an early release from the hospital so he could attend Lesbian and Gay Pride Day. With one arm anchoring a balloon and the other around my shoulder, Stephen traversed the festival grounds, stopping at every booth, talking loudly, and dramatizing a pride-fiUed spirit. We had checked in at the medical tent to arrange periodic visits so that Stephen could rest and receive oxygen. Due to his visibly weakened condition, he received a knowing smile or gentle touch from several other persons at the festival. Stephen was radiant. It was as if he perceived that the thousands of his brothers and sisters who were there were actually there to celebrate his life. On another occasion, I received a phone call at work and heard a childlike, pleading voice: "Daddy, can I have a kitty cat?" I laughed as he went on: "My counselor says that a cat would be very therapeutic. A cat is warm and furry and quiet and has a special attraction to dying persons." Memories of my own childhood desire for a pet and my persistent nagging of my parents came flooding back to me. Against my own inclinations, I, of course, acceded to Stephen's wishes, and soon Sasha joined our household. Stephen's enthusiasm for life was contagious to those who knew him. Yet I always realized thatjust (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey 15 Finding a Family (continued) below the surface lurked a throbbing anger: anger at facing death at a youthful age; anger at having public voices proclaiming that AIDS was God's retribution on the gay male community; anger at some gay men who refused to confront the reality of AIDS; anger at modern medicine for offering him no hope for the future. Not unlike other dying persons, Stephen exhibited a renewed concern for his spiritual life. He frequently sought reassurance that God did, in fact, love him and that he had lived a responsible life. Stephen began to attend our church occasionally. His initial fears were overcome by those persons in the congregation who extended a warm welcome to him, fully cognizant of his situation. Our pastor became Stephen's pastor during his hospitalization and in our home. While Stephen attended church sporadically, it was noticeable that he most often worshipped on a communion Sunday. One Sunday as I watched his frail hand dip the morsel of bread into the chalice a new appreciation for sacramental grace swept over me. I had always believed that God's grace was transmitted through the Eucharist. But I had not let go of my belief that my good deeds -past, present, and future -made me worthy of the sacrament and sealed the promise of God's love for me. Approaching the Eucharist in an extremely weakened and vulnerable state, with little or no vision of future existence and the accompanying possibility of redeeming endeavors -this was real faith. I suddenly came face-to-face with the efficacy of God's grace. God's grace is total, unconditional, and offered freely to every one of us. Stephen's death came as he wished -quickly and peacefully. The memorial service was held at our church and carried out according to the explicit instructions he had passed down. Those he had chosen to be his family were there: his AIDS support group; staff of the AIDS Education Fund; colleagues from his employment; our friends and neighbors. In one small deviation from the service Stephen had planned, I read a card he had given to us. Stephen, in his inscrutable way, not only had appeared in my life suddenly and left an indelible impression on it; he had also provided the poetry with which to articulate my experience. On the card was printed: Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave foot-prints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. Inside the card was written: Ron and Mark I love you both very much and will from this day forward always have a family! Love, Stephen 6/Manna for the Journey do not intend to sit around wasting away. My life has been and is one of the most fulfilling I have ever encountered. A gift ... I am at peace and more in love with the God of my soul than I ever dreamed possible. In no way will I live a maudlin life filled with regret and pity. God damn it! I can't stand it! My body aches for all the pent up emotions and lack of physical release I'm dying a slow death of the most excruciating kind. The far right could not have come up with so good a plan if their future existence depended on it. Or maybe it's the scheme of a few good intenders in our own ranks, determined to wipe out the unacceptable lifestyle among us, so one or two of them can get elected to Congress or maybe a plush job in the government. I mean it makes sense in a country where they poison the air and water so some dudes can make a few extra bucks. W hatever happens I know that my life has been interesting and has made a positive contribution to the living of many other s. I know increasingly that I am loved. My life has power -it has meaning. I am living a life -and it is living through me -with some arrogance -but much faith "I can do most anything!" I see myself as a new being -ready to move on secure in the knowledge that I am to be loved forever. I have for the longest time felt that being gay meant that I was not to ever use strong words like love in relationship to men, even my father, in case someone might find out about it and ruin my life. Overall, I do not like what seems to be required of us in the interactions between people in order to progress in this world. The competition rather than exploration, being defensive for what on~has said and done at particular moments, the concerning of one's self in order to hold onto a perceived advantage -all gnaw away at my living. \Ve are first involved in a struggle for social justice. We are not responsible for the oppression we experience and do not need to reduce everything to personal crisis, sought after happiness and acceptabililty. We need to be continually held accountable to our people, to lesbians and gay men. I am amazed by the ability of lesbians, gay men, dykes, fairies, butches, drag queens, and clones lesbians and gay men -to continue surviving, balancing on the edge. Blame the victim, an old techtion and mutual support to form nique used to shift the burden ghettos. _ of responsibility, is rearing its This existence has been caused, ugly head again. In this instance the in a significant measure, by attitudes technique is aided and supported and beliefs perpetuated and encourwith pious affirmations and biblical aged by certain sectors of the Chrisprooftexting. In moralistic and actian church. Rather than pointing cusatory terms, conservative Chrisaccusing fingers in the direction of tians are blaming the victims of the the victims, we should instead look disease known as AIDS (Acquired at the role we have had in creating a Immune Deficiency Syndrome) for situation that may be a contributing their condition. Instead of helping to under which these minorities live as or even causative factor. find medical solutions to a medical a significant contributing-if not in However, there is more a conproblem, the only matter under disfact causative-factor. cerned Christian can do about AIDS. cussion for these critics is the moNumerous maladies which society Christians can lead efforts to allorality of the victims and the punused to label perjoratively as cate national resources to cure and ishment for their alleged miscon" women's illnesses" have now been eradicate this esoteric disease. More duct. AIDS, we are told, is God's also associated with the stress which important, Christians can bring the modern mini-version of Sodom and the subordinate position of women light of God's grace upon disGomorrah. through the ages has caused. Psycussions about AIDS as God's punIn dealing with people who chosomatic rashes, allergies, menishment for the sinfulness of gay strual pains and even extreme cases espouse these condemnatory ideas, men. one is tempted to dismiss them, hopof hysteria and psychosis have been In John 9 the disciples were ing every thinking, caring person linked to social factors as much, if influenced by a mentality that saw would see the fallacious and perninot more, than to purely physiologiillnesses directly related to a person's moral behavior. Upon encouncious logic in their arguments. Why calor somatic causes. has God waited so long to come up It is not necessary to take a logitering a blind man, they asked Jesus cal leap to see that just as other ifthe man's blindness was caused by with another punishment? If AIDS is a punishment for homosexuality, marginated groups have had illnesses his sin or by his parent's sins. "He is which find their etiology in the stress blind so that God's power might be why is it that lesbian women are not getting it? What about the fact that which society in general causes seen at work in him" (John 9:3). them to live under, so in the case of AIDS also has nothing to do several nonhomosexual hemophiliacs are also catching the ailment? with gay men's sins. If we only let AIDS one can suppose that there Should researchers stop looking for might very well be at least a correlaGod speak to us, we may also find cures since a punishment from God tion between the stress gay men live that this illness is around so that should only be accepted? The quesunder and their predisposition to God's power might be seen at work tions mulitply. contact enigmatic illness. in them and in the rest ofus. Maybe, AIDS is a socio-medical problem Another interesting coincidence just maybe, one of the things we that requires socio-medical solutions. could learn is that a genetic link ought to force us to point our fingers shared by gay men makes them More important for us as Christians, away from the victims of AIDS. At however, is that we question our own least two other mysterious diseases more susceptible to AIDS. Such a prejudicial practices and the deleappear to have one sociological facdiscovery might imply that homosexuality is more genetically deterterious contributing factor such tor in common with AIDS: the practices may have in the appearoccurrence among Blacks of sicklemined than a matter of choosing to ance and spread of AIDS. cell anemia and the presence among be or not to be gay. Then, the ChrisIt is an established fact that tian church in general and the Jewish people ofTay Sachs disease. marginated and persecuted groups Whatever else one says about United Methodist Church in parare under more stress than the ticular might begin to act more these rare diseases, the common general population. It is also well lovingly and justly toward the homodenominator is that these groups established that prolonged continuhave been forced into ghettos now or sexual brothers and sisters who coning stress affects negatively the body's sometime in their history. True, one tinue to give us a chance to share immune system. The most visual with them in the power of the gospel can point out other concommitant form of attack on our body, the comin spite of a shameful history of perfactors such as diet and inbreeding, secution. And God's power might be mon cold, finds vulnerable victims but these factors are exacerbated by seen at work, maybe, just maybe. among those who, for one reason or segregation. another, are "run down." As gay people find themselves In minority communities, Black unable to live in the midst of nonReproduced from Circuit Rider, Ocand Hispanic as a prime example, supportive communities, they have tober 1983. Copyright by the United hypertension, the so-called "silent flocked to cities where ethnic and Methodist Publishing House. By per·· killer," runs rampant. Medical aulifestyle differences are accepted. mission. thorities have identified the stress They have come together for protec8 / Manna for the Journey e Nancy A, Carter is chairperson ofthe Administrative Council and lay leader of Washington Square UMC in New Yo rk City, She has been involved in Washington Square's AIDS ministry since its beginning. Probably every church involved in ministry to and with gay men and lesbians has been touched in some way by the AIDS crisis. Washington Square UMC in New York City is no exception. We have had to meet the needs of our own church members who have been affected by this disease. And, located as we are in the heart of New York's gay/lesbian community, Greenwich Village, we have also felt called to serve others around us who, though not involved in our immediate church family, have needed our love and help as well. As AIDS spreads throughout society and affects more and more people, congregations everywhere will increasingly feel this tragedy in their midst and win hear their own calls to ministry to persons with AIDS (PWAs), their friends, and their families. Because we hope that our experiences at Washington Square might help others as they answer those calls, we share here our own efforts to serve those in need around us. We first became involved in an AIDS ministry when our church treasurer, Charles Bergner, was diagnosed as having AIDS in spring 1983. Unlike some persons who are diagnosed with AIDS, Charles immediately reached out to those around him, including members of his church family. Dealing with the inevitable first shock and grief of having such a frightening illness hit someone we all knew and loved, our congregation quickly responded in two ways. First, we did our best to minister to the various needs-emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial-of Charles, his partner David, and their other family and friends. Second, we opened our doors to other people affected by the AIDS epidemic. We made our building available for memorial services for those who died of the disease. For two years, g ~ ~ we provided free space as needed to the city's Gay Men's Health Crisis. Our church took these steps at a time when information about AIDS' transmission was very limited and people were becoming quite paranoid about contracting the disease. We felt strongly that Christ's call to ministry outweighed any fears that we or others had. Charles supplemented Washington Square's ministry'by choosing to give of himself to others as he could. His desire was especially manifest in two different forms: He contacted The United M ethodist Reporter to interview him so that United Methodists (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 9 A Ministry of Bereavement (continued) around the country would know that people of their denomination were being afflicted with AIDS, and he entered a program at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, allowing some experimental treatment to be done on him in hope that future persons diagnosed with AIDS might benefit. Charles died on December 25, 1983, the first of our members to be lost to the epidemic. During 1984, we learned that another member, Michael Collins, also had AIDS. After an initial period of distancing himself from the congregation, Michael, too, received support from Washington Square. He died on October 15, 1984. (See reprinted excerpts from Michael's journal and letters elsewhere in this issue.) Shortly after Michael's death, Washington Square held its annual planning retreat. Those of us in attendance discussed the grief we were experiencing in relation to the previous year's deaths in the congregation, especially those related to AIDS. We decided that the church, rather than moving away from this grief, would expand its ministry to others affected by the disease. As a first step in the expansion, church members would undertake educational events and informal research to determine the way we should go. This education was carried out in a variety of forms and continues today with various members attending different events, so that many people are receiving training. An outreach committee was formed and has been doing much of the basic work for this ministry. As a result of discussions in this committee, we decided to sponsor a bereavement group this fall for persons who have lost friends and family members to AIDS. Two facilitators will lead the group. Various church members have been receiving training in the area of bereavement. Three of our members attended an intensive weekend workshop on bereavement and AIDS sponsored by the Shanti Project, San Francisco, an organization that specializes in working with relatives and friends of persons with AIDS. Shanti's Emotional Support Volunteer Training Manual was purchased. Another book-When a Friend Is Dying by Edward Dobihal, Jr., and Charles William Steward (Abingdon, 1984)-was also read. After the Shanti workshop, a group of our members and other New Yorkers who attended it decided to continue meeting. Calling itself Shanti, New York, this group now meets monthly at Washington Square as a support group for those working with PWAs. Among the participants in this group, in addition to Washington Square staff and members, are healthcare workers, Gay Men's Health Crisis volunteers, hospital chaplains, hospice workers, and anyone else who wishes to attend. Although Shanti, New Yor.\<:, is still determining its direction, a major topic of discussion for it thus far has been bereavement; many of its participants have been affected by deaths of people from AIDS and feel overwhelmed. As another part of Washington Square's efforts to serve those people who have been-or, in the future, will be-affected by AIDS, we forwarded a resolution on "AIDS and the Ministry of the Church" to the Commission on Church and Society of the New York Annual Conference, which, in turn, took it to the conference under the commission's name. By an almost unanimous vote, the resolution was adopted by the conference on June 9, 1985. It asked that the conference's commissions on Church and Society and/or Health and Welfare consider sponsoring educational forums/workshops for the churches of the conference and that the resolution be forwarded nationally to the General Board of Church and Society and to the Health and Welfare Program Department for their information. That resolution should help raise the consciousness of churches in this area. We also hope that it helps enable a support network of churches to grow as more churches are personally touched by AIDS and look for support. We expect that our efforts may be used as a model for some types of responses a congregation can make and how a congregation can learn to support its own self as it ministers to others. We at Washington Square intend to continue enlarging and improving our AIDS-related ministries. This November we will begin an AIDS Grief Support Group for families and friends of PWAs that we expect to lead for 10 weeks. We also are doing resource work for the New York Annual Conference's Commission on Church and Society to help plan an event, scheduled for next year, that will include information on ministry to PWAs. Clearly, a lot of work remains to be done in relation to the AIDS epidemic. Local churches can perform a valuable ministry not only to persons with AIDS but also to their friends and families. Of course, we know that, in the end, we are all the friends and families of persons with AIDS. We all are a part of each other. 10/ Manna Jor the Journey these PWAs get have prolonged their lives, but nothing significant has yet been uncovered to treat the underlyFacts ing disease. Many scientists are working worldwide, often with inadequate and funds, to find a cure for AIDS. The drugs being looked at are of two basic types, those that might attack and kill the virus itself (antiviral drugs) and those that scientists hope Fears could stimulate the growth of the immune system (immunostimulants). Overall, the results from the use of about these drugs have been unsuccessful to this point. AIDS AIDS primarily affects young people between the ages of 20 and by Micheal Pistole 50. This makes sense because people in this age group are more sexually Micheal Pistole is a doctor ofinternal medicine and gastroenterology in private practice in the active and AIDS is primarily a sexWashington, D.C. area. Dr. Pistole has been active in community services for AIDS patients. Hually transmitted disease. It is, however, important to realize that, while ealth is something that is little AIDS may be spread through a comunderstood and too often taken existence. We now have among us, however, munity by sexual promiscuity, not _ for granted until it is lost. a unique virus that has le-arned to everyone who falls victim to it has Even in our present world of sciendestroy our immune system before necessarily been sexually promistific enlightenment, many of us do the virus itself can be destroyed. cuous. One or two unfortunate connot comprehend the external and This virus is slow and methodical in tacts can transmit the disease. internal factors that protect us and its work and renders its victims unThe use of shared intravenous maintain our health. We assume able to protect themselves from infecneedles by drug abusers is known to that, if we catch a cold, we will surtions that slowly eat away at their be another major mode of transmisvive and overcome it. We assume bodies and minds. In a healthy host sion and accounts for about 15% of this because it has been the case with an intact immune system, these the cases nationwide. Since AIDS throughout our lives. The fact that infections would be stopped before also may be acquired through blood our immune system is functioning to they did any major damage. This transfusion, the HTLV-III antibody protect us may never enter our menace is the HTLV-III virus, and test is used to identify units of blood minds. This system of internal prothe disease it causes is AIDS (acthat may be contaminated by the tection is the reason that we can surpresence of the antibody (which vive in a sea of viruses, parasites, quired immune deficiency syndrome). does not necessarily indicate that and fungi that are vying for their the HTLV-III virus itself is active). survival at all costs, even our very This test is performed not only by existence. The effect ofAIDS' initial spread the Red Cross on collection of blood A healthy immune system is all since the early 1980s, when it was donated to it, but also again at hosimportant. It is a unique and special first discovered, is only now being pitals before they transfuse the tool with a mind of its own that can seen. There are today more than blood or blood products, adding an identify that which is harmful to us 12,000 persons with AIDS (PWAs) nationwide; many more times that extra measure of safety. and destroy it, whether it be a virus number of persons will develop the AIDS is not an easy disease to or a cancer, while we calmly go disease over the next 12 to 18 transmit. Casual contact in a house, about our daily activities. As we age, months. office, or school has never been a our immune system does falter and source of transmission. At centers eventually something gets through AIDS kills. At the present time, it like the National Institutes of Health, that cannot be controlled; we may is 100% fatal. The reason we somewhere hundreds of AIDS patients develop cancer or die of a serious times read that there is only a 50% have been cared for by hundreds of infection, despite modern tools like fatality rate is that the new patients health workers, no one has ever conantibiotics, surgery, and chemowho are being identified daily have tracted the disease by caring for the therapy. Most often, this happens not yet had time to die. If we look back to the early 1980s, all of those patients. It is, therefore, foolish to only after we have had an opporallow fears of personal safety to pretunity to live a full and fruitful victims have perished. New methods of temporarily treating the infections (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 11 Facts and Fears (continued) . vent us from reaching out to comfort the victims of what has become a major health problem in this country. The myth that AIDS is a disease of the gay male community in this country is just that-a myth. The disease did take hold in this country in a subset of the gay male community that was highly sexually active, and because AIDS is sexually transmitted, it spread rapidly through that particular segment of the community. AIDS, however, exists in high numbers in other parts ofthe worldoften in primarily heterosexual communities. In several areas in central Mrica, AIDS is present in epidemic proportions. Grossly unsanitary liv-. ing conditions may be factors in its spread there. In the United States, AIDS is spreading to the heterosexual community through prostitution, promiscuity, and intravenous drug abuse-we are seeing the tip of the iceberg at this point. There is nothing worse for persons who are committed to improving health and bettering quality of life than to see a vital, young life slip away before their eyes and to have no power to help. It is . agonizing to watch parents, confused and bewildered, trying to understand why this has happened to their child. There always seems so much to do in such a short time, so much to talk about and get "out in the open" about sexuality and about significant relationships that have been "kept hidden" from the family. It is strange how, so often, nothing has really been kept hidden from someone who loves you, but how it can still be very hard to talk about some sUbjects. AIDS has too long been kept on the shelf as a feared and special disease of the few. It is in fact a devastating health hazard for many. Only through open understanding of the disease and willingness to help its victims can we as a human community hope to help stem the spread of the disease until· medical sCience can find a cure or a protective vaccine. AIDS is a total community problem, not just a problem of a few. 12 / Manna for the Journey Manna for the Joumey / 13 appointment to AIDS ministry. He is coordinator ofthe AIDS Project in Berkeley California. Prior 10 that, he workedfor the Shanti Project and San Francisco General Hospital. With no solution to AIDS seemingly close at hand, it is.essential that all those concerned about the disease organize community responses to it. Those r~sponses must be organized on every possible level -emotional, spiritual, physical, and social, as well as political and individual. Not only gay men and others in so-called high risk groups, but all of us, are truly fighting for our lives. And, although death is not the enemy, quality living is definitely the ally that makes us activists and reconcilers together. Before any of us can begin successful AIDS work, we must build into our lives, our work, and the experience of our peers a good support system. Ifwe have no support group that really works, none of us can do our best to help others. Without solid support from those around us, we are likely to "burn out" and find it too hard to get past our own concerns. In nearly three years of working in an AIDS project in California, I have learned, most importantly, that a basic rule of leadership must be followed for a project to be successful: a leader must be willing to delegate tasks, diversify program approaches, and make room for others to carry on and expand into areas where he or she, as leader, cannot or will not go. An AIDS project must rapidly surpass its first leader's individual vision of it and have room for new visions and new leaders. Any AIDS program should make sure that it, or some other program in its area, provides three important types of services: direct services (including counseling and support, social services, and education); county/government services (including medical resources and funding); and community services (including grassroots lobbying, networking, and advocacy). Direct Services Direct services are the heart-and-soul of an AIDS project. One important part of these services is providing group and individual counseling and support for persons with AIDS and AIDS-related Complex "Providing Services" by Jeremy Landau --------------------(ARC) and for their lovers, families, and friends. It is Jeremy Landau is an ordained minister in the UMC under special. h· d d . d I Important t at traine an commItte vo unteers supervised bypaid AIDS-sensitive staff be used as much as possible. As a program is set up, a 200% increase in clients each year should be anticipated. All too often, "significant others" and ARC clients end up on waiting lists. Steps should also be taken to ensure that peer support and supervision is available for staff, volunteers, and health professionals. (Nevertheless, because there can easily be a scarcity of volunteers available to a project, it may sometimes have to curtail some services in favor of others as the epidemic increases in an area. Project leaders should carefully plan what steps to take in the event of such a necessity.) Social services for persons with AIDS (PWAs) include providing assistance in obtaining Medicare, food stamps, Social Security, insurance benefits, emergency services, and basic human rights from service providers, landlords, employers, and others. These services are a frequently frustrating maze of subsistence services often provided by overburdened Civil Service employees. Presumptive eligibility must be fought for and maintained uniformly throughout the United States. Unfortunately, persons with ARC are ineligible for most benefits, even though they often are as sick as or sicker than PWAs. Education is the most important preventive measure available to help stop the spread of AIDS. Although education often seems futile, in the end it does payoff. It sensitizes a community on basic AIDS issues and new developments, and it draws out sensitive individuals willing to help. Sometimes, those individuals are in key positions affecting AIDSrelated issues. One important group that can benefit from education is health-care providers, who can be sensitized to such concerns as homophobia, racism, and phobias against hustlers, prostitutes, and drug users. Frequently, AIDS projects can provide those persons with information beyond the basic level that other health agencies can provide. In addition, education can help community AIDS services identify those health-care providers who are most likely to deal with the AIDS epidemic and with whom it is therefore important to maintain contact. (continued on page 16) 14 / Manna for the Journey "Organizing a Community" by John Hannay ----------------------------------------~ T hR ' d t if TIT I Th I . IS' d JO n annay zs a gra ua e 0 /'Y es ey eo ogzca emznary an a consultant with nonprofit organizations in the Washington. D.C.. area. The appearance of a disease like AIDS within the gay/lesbian community may have seemed, to many persons, to spell an end to hopes for ending discrimination and homophobia. Fortunately, however, although AIDS has posed serious challenges for the gay/lesbian liberation movement, ithas not been a death knell. Rather, it has been a stimulus for growth in the midst of a seemingly hopeless tragedy. It has helped gay men and lesbians to grow as a community by focusing their energies in the direction of the ultimate values of human life and by creating a challenge to demonstrate a love that endures even unto death. The chief means for that growth has been a network of AIDS service organizations that have sprung up in communities throughout North America and Europe. From September 1983 through October 1984, I served in the leadership of one such local AIDS project. I served as program manager for the AIDS Education Fund of the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington, D.C. Although originally started as a health education program aimed at helping individuals reduce their risks of acquiring the disease, the project developed into a much broader operation with programs in three general areas -public education and prevention, support for persons with AIDS (PWAs) and their loved ones, and clinical assessment and referral for persons experiencing AIDS-like symptoms. The only paid workers were myself and a half-time staff assistant. Most of the fund's work was done by volunteers. One real advantage of the program has been its sponsorship by a clinic that already had a long history of involvement with the local gay/lesbian community and a strong base around which the local AIDS response movement could grow. WhitmanWalker had been founded in the early 1970s by a group of concerned leaders of the gay/lesbian movement. The clinic's chief purpose was to provide quality treatment for the unique health care needs of gay men and lesbians in a way that respected their privacy. For 10 years before the outbreak ofAIDS, it had run a venereal disease screening clinic for gay and bisexual men. Its alcohol and drug treatment . programs for both gay men and lesbIans were reputed to be among the best in the city. Most of the necessary groundwork for launching a successful project had been done before I arrived at the AIDS Education Fund. General programmatic goals had been set. An educational forum to attract media attention and volunteers had been held. Sufficient money to begin the work had been raised through public grants and private fundraising benefits. What was needed immediately was to turn all this commitment and energy into an ongoing organization. I was both thrilled and terrified. Here was a chance for us in the Washington area gay/lesbian community to make a difference on an issue of undeniable importance. Here also was a chance to show those afflicted with AIDS how much they were loved and how much potential life still held for them. With a public eye turned on us, we dug in. During the next year, the project grew rapidly. More than 100 volunteers began providing PWAs with support services such as grocery shopping, trips to the doctor, and nights at the movies. Four support groups -also led by volunteers -were operating; two were for PWAs, and two were for family members/lovers. Six educational forums were held, reaching an estimated 1,200 individuals. "Safe sex" posters and pamphlets were placed in local entertainment establishments and bookstores. Leaders of the fund appeared on several radio and TV talk shows. Local print and broadcast media received assistance in preparing stories on AIDS. A local telephone information line was set up, answering between 150 and 200 calls a month. A bimonthly newsletter on AIDS was published, and a special mass transit advertising campaign aimed at racial and ethnic minority populations was being planned. The fund not only helped Washington area gay men and lesbians to grow as a community; it also helped those of us who were involved in it to grow individually. Many persons with no prior experience or self-confidence in either community organizing or human services appeared to volunteer. After training in necessary skills, many of those volunteers used them with great facility. Some have since become community leaders in other areas. (continued on page 16) Manna for the Journey / 15 "Providing Services" (continued) County/Government Services Currently, government health departments provide most AIDS services and control most of the funds available for other AIDS-related programs whether those funds be for health and welfare, mental health, social, or prevention services. It is important that networks be established with individuals in the relevant governmental service areas, as well as to maintain a "watchful eye" to ensure that quality services are easily accessible to all populations. It is still the poor, especially the urban poor, who need the most and have access to the least care. Community Services Grassroots organizing is vital to the continuation of local AIDS work. Boards of directors ofAIDS projects must include PWAs, persons of color, and professionals with clout in their communities. Community resource organizations must be established to carefully watch community and government services. The public and private sectors must be made AIDSsensitive, AIDS-aware, and AIDS-activist. Elected officials must be identified for lobbying efforts. "Organizing a Community" (collfillued) Since I left the fund, it has continued to expand. It is important to note that such growth and community development is possible not only in communities such as Washington where lesbians and gay men are politically organized and legally protected. Organized responses to AIDS can be achieved in any community, provided there is the will and openness to accept possible criticism along the way. The existence of many AIDS projects in smaller cities and rural areas testifies to that. Through trial and error, several important principles have surfaced in AIDS-related work around the country that are crucial to acknowledge: 1. Begin preventive education efforts as quickly as possible in a local area, even if there are no reported AIDS cases. The potential for AIDS always exists. Besides staving off possible future cases, such organizing for education can also make ready an appropriate social services support network once AIDS does appear. 2. Draw upon already established community organizations and networks when setting up an AIDS project. These organizations/networks can range from informal social groups to well-established community newspapers. Attachment to a reputable and trusted community health establishment is a real plus that should be arranged if at all possible. 3. Structure any organizing in terms of the broad community, not just sub populations mostly at risk. AIDS is not a gay disease; rather, it is a threat to everyone, which so far has struck certain population groups, such as gay and bisexual men, most frequently. The whole community must be responsible for 'its response. Doing this work is no easy task. Fortunately, relevant information can be obtained from already established AIDS centers so that those starting new programs can benefit from others' experiences and mistakes. The load can also be made lighter by encouraging spiritual support groups, interfaith organizations, fundraiser coalitions, hospice groups, and AIDS-specific activities as ways to spread the tasks around and to involve individuals with particular interests or limited time. AIDS work can be both sobering and enriching. In my case, I have had to confront and reconfront life issues of my own -my health, my sexuality, my successes and failures, and, most especially, my own phobias. I know that I still fall in love, so to speak, with my clients, They are my teachers and my allies. I still miss Michael, Doug, Paul, and others. Ifthis closeness were to stop, I would probably leave AIDS work. I am so proud of my brothers and sisters involved in AIDS work, as well as the people with AIDS who have fought and continue to fight -successfully for the rights and dignity of people living with AIDS. 4. Include persons with AIDS in decision making and public presence to the maximum extent possible. PWAs are the most helpful resources of an AIDS project as well as the most frequent recipients of its services. They can provide valuable feedback regarding educational programs, and, at public forums or in the media, their presence can help break down prejudices about AIDS. 5. Involve all community subgroups from the very beginning. All too often AIDS projects tend to get started almost solely by upwardly mobile white gay men. AIDS, however, does not respect age, gender, racial, or economic boundaries. 6. Obtain the involvement and cooperation of both public and private sector groups. AIDS is a total community health issue. Involvement of municipal public health and welfare agencies, backed up by funding from state and federal agencies, is a necessity. Yet the response to AIDS cannot be left solely to governmental bureaucracies. It also needs an all-accepting "human touch" that only volunteers can provide. 7. Insist that all public and private help be provided without prejudice or judgment against anyone. The unqualified acceptance of those who either have the disease or are at risk is ground rule number one. Intolerance and prejudice have no place in AIDS work. Responding to AIDS is a public health issue not an arena in which to make moral or theological pronouncements. Tragically, AIDS is spreading. But with it is spreading organization and growth. Any community can do AIDS-related work. As we learned in Washington, D.C., this disease can be faced, with positive results for a community's quality of life. 16 / Manna Jar the Journey --------------------------------- PMfJffof'!J6untJNan: A ~Lament 1m 102 is the lament of a young man who is suffering from a serious illness. This lament expresses the feelings of that man as he searches for peace in his life. Laments were integral parts of the ritual of mourning in the Hebrew religion. Through words and songs, laments expressed grief that was felt by the community. Read this Psalm antiphonally as a community lament for the lives of our brothers and sisters who have AIDS or who have died from AIDS. Ask a dancer in your congregation to create an interpretive dance to be performed during the reading of the Psalm. LEFf: I'sa/mKJZ Right: ALMIGHTY GOD, HEAR MY PRAYER AND Hide not your face from me when I am in distress. LET MY CRY FOR HELP REACH THEE, LISTEN TO MY PRAYER AND, WHEN I CALL, For my days vanish like smoke, my body is burnt up ANSWER ME SOON; as in an oven. I AM STRICKEN, WITHERED LIKE GRASS; I Wasted away, I groan aloud and my skin hangs on CANNOT FIND THE STRENGTH TO EAT. my bones. I AM LIKE A DESERT OWL IN THE WILDERThin and meagre, I wail in solitude, like a bird that NESS, AN OWL THAT LIVES AMONG RUINS. flutters on the rooftop. MY ENEMIES INSULT ME ALL THE DAY LONG; I have eaten ashes for bread and mingled tears with MAD WITH RAGE, THEY CONSPIRE AGAINST my drink. ME. IN YOUR WRATH AND FURY, YOU HAVE My days decline as the shadows lengthen and like TAKEN ME UP AND FLUNG ME ASIDE. grass I wither away. BUT YOU, GRACIOUS GOD, ARE ENTHRONED You will arise and have mercy on Zion; for the time is FOREVER AND YOUR FAME SHALL BE come to pity it KNOWN TO ALL GENERATIONS. ITS VERY STONES ARE DEAR TO YOUR SERThen shall the nations revere your name, 0 God, and VANTS, AND EVEN ITS DUST MOVES THEM all the leaders of the earth your glory, WITH PITY. WHEN YOU BUILD UP ZION AGAIN AND You turn to hear the prayer of the destitute and do not SHOW YOUR GLORY. scorn them when they pray. MY STRENGTH IS BROKEN IN MID COURSE; Snatch me not away before half my days are done, for THE TIME ALLOTTED ME IS SHORT. your years last through all generations. LONG AGO YOU DID LAY THE FOUNDATIONS They shall pass away, but you endure; like clothes, OF THE EARTH, AND THE HEAVENS WERE they shall all grow old; YOUR HANDIWORK. YOU SHALL CAST THEM OFF LIKE A CLOAK, And they shall vanish; BUT YOU ARE THE SAME, AND YOUR YEARS Your servants' children shall continue. SHALL HAVE NO END; Together: And their posterity shall be established in your presence. Manna for the Journey / 17 d Introducing Reconciling Congregations Nine Reconciling Congregations were introduced in our first issue. Here we present brief profiles of three other Reconciling Conbregations. (A complete list of congregations in the program is given below.) St. John's UMC-Baltimore, MD St. John's is a congregation that has, literally, risen from the ashes. A fire in 1982 destroyed the roof of the church building. Unable to utilize the facility for the following year, the congregation set about to intentionally plan the restoration of the building to fit the ministries the church would undertake. This has evolved into a ministry of hospitality. The building, with its many multipurpose rooms, is open to use by many community groups, ranging from social services to theater companies. The Baltimore Metropolitan Community Church (which met at St. John's prior to the fire) has returned to make the building its church home. St. John's provided facilities for Affirmation during the 1984 General Conference. The small congregation, comprised primarily of persons who live in the neighborhood, is multiracial and covers the age range from students to the elderly. St. John's has been active in the sanctuary movement for Central American refugees and has a refugee living in the church building. Calvary UMC-Philadelphia, PA Calvary UMC is a model of a congregation engaged in urban ministry. Three part-time clergy provide support to a varied program of ministries, including a credit union, the Central American Organizing Project, the Women's School, a food cooperative, a radio station (WPEB), and an intergenerational housing program. Participation by members of the congregation and community in Calvary's ministries has been the key to its success. The congregation of 187 members is multiracial and covers all ages. Lay participation in innovative worship experiences is an integral part of Calvary's life. A special program allows for the placement of two social work interns from Switzerland each year to assist with the ministries of the congregation. Capitol Hill UMC-Seattle, WA Capitol Hill UMC has a long history of involvement in social justice concerns. Shifts in the urban population around the location of the church has resulted in a decline to' the present worshipping community of 35 persons. Despite its small size, Capitol Hill has maintained its vitality as a church-in-ministry. Individuals in the congregation are actively engaged in a variety of community service and justice-seeking ministries. One special feature of the congregation is that it includes several returned clergy and other seminary graduates. The church houses a lounge that is open weekdays for street people and persons with chronic mental illness. The congregation serves free meals twice a month. The local congregati'on of the Metropolitan Community Church has met in the church building for 12 years. Washington Square in the News Washington Square UMC in New York City attracted nationwide media coverage early this summer concerning the Harvey Milk School, housed in the church's building. The Harvey Milk School is an alternative learning opportunity for lesbian and gay youth for whom harassment has precluded participation in a regular public school. The school (named by the students for the former San Francisco supervisor who was assassinated in 1978) is authorized by the New York City Board of Education and managed by the Institute for the Protection of Lesbian and Gay Youth. After a New York City newspaper reported the school's existence, the Family Defense Coalition, a local fundamentalist religious group, called a news conference on the steps of the church building to demand the closing of the schooL Facing a barrage of media attention, Washington Square leaders were adamant in their support for the schools' right to existence. The congregation recognizes that to provide housing for the school is an extension of its ministry. The following statement was issued by the Administrative Council of the church: Washington Square United Methodist Church supports the New York City Board of Education in its effort to provide education through the Harvey Milk SchooL We believe all students are entitled to a public education, regardless of sexual orientation. We know that there are times when people who have been persecuted for being different need to gather together with those like themselves for support in order to return to mainstream life. The school serves young people who might not otherwise complete their education. We applaud its efforts to provide an atmosphere which enables learning for these students. The Harvey Milk School came to us in search of a classroom to use. We have been happy to provide this facility for them as a part of our Christian ministry of love and reconciliation. We hope and pray for the day when lesbian and gay students can attend public high schools as fully accepted participants in all areas of school life. Washington Square agreed to give the school classroom space after the schoool encountered difficulties finding appropriate facilities. The school has met in the church building since mid-ApriL 18 / Manna for the Journey A Reconciling Congregation Looks At Its Past-And Its Future Wallingford UMC in Seattle recently concluded a celebration and evaluation of its ministry as a Reconciling Congregation. A series of events included a "Reconciling Sunday" worship service, an adult education session, two informal discussions during coffee hours, a written questionnaire distributed to the congregation, and discussions at Administrative Council meetings. The results of the evaluation were strongly affirmative. Persons responded that they discovered new dimensions in their faith as they were challenged to broaden their love to include all persons. Many in the congregation expressed that they had grown to know and understand each other more as a Christian community through this experience. Several persons stated that they had come to the church or had become more actively involved due to its ministry as a Reconciling Congregation. Hopes for the future which were expressed included continued dialogue and healing with some members of the congregation who remain uncomfortable with the ministry to lesbians and gay men. Desire for continued study of human sexuality was stated. The resolve to evangelize -to spread the good news of Wallingford's ministry -was manifest in a resolution sent to the annual conference recommending the Reconciling Congregation Program to other congregations. Congratulations -to Bethany UMC, San Francisco, celebrating its 20th anniversary as a congregation. -to Washington Square UMC, New York City, on its 125th anniversary. "Day of Solidarity" Proclaimed in the Presbyterian Church Representatives of the 32 More Light congregations (the Presbyterian equivalent of Reconciling Congregations) gathered this past spring to share their joys and struggles and to plan concerted actions. One outcome of that meeting was to declare Reformation Sunday, October 27, to be a "Day of Solidarity" for the full inclusion of all all persons, including lesbians and gay men in the life of the church. The gathering also created an "Mfirmation of an Inclusive Church" which is being circulated as a petition and sent to leaders of the Presbyterian Church (USA). For more information on the More Light Program or the "Day of Solidarity," contact Shirley Hinkamp, 300 W. 55th Street #101, New York, NY 10019. Annual Conference Actions Several annual conferences of the UMC passed resolutions related to the church's ministry with lesbians and gay men this summer. The North Georgia, New York, and CaliforniaNevada conferences passed resolutions calling on the church to be engaged in AIDS-related ministries. The Pacific-Northwest, California-Pacific, and CaliforniaNevada conferences encouraged local churches to be in ministry with lesbians and gay men. The Minnesota Conference approved a resolution on the civil rights of lesbians and gay men. The complete text ofeach ofthese resolutions is given below. Manna for the Journey / 19 20/Manna for the Journey List of Reconciling Congregations Bethany UMC Sl John's UMC Washington Square UMC c/o Christine E. Shiber c/o Howard Nash c/o Cathie Lyons 1268 Sanchez Street 2705 S1. Paul Street 135 W. 4th Street San Francisco, CA 94114 Baltimore, MD 21218 New York, NY 10012 Calvary UMC Sl Paufs UMC WesleyUMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o George Christie c/o Warren Russell 815 S. 48th Street 1615 Ogden Street 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19143 Denver, CO 80218 Fresno, CA 93710 Capitol Hill UMC Sunnyhills UMC Wheadon UMC c/o Pat Dougherty c/o Martha Chow c/o Carol Larson 128 Sixteenth East 335 Dixon Road 2212 Ridge Avenue Seattle, WA 98112 Milpitas, CA 95035 Evanston, IL 60201 Central UMC University UMC c/o Howard Abts c/o Stephen Webster 701 West Central at Scottwood 1127 University Avenue Toledo, OH 43610 Madison, WI 53715 EdgehiliUMC Wallingford UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Chuck Richards 1502 Edgehill Avenue 2115 N. 42nd Street Nashville, TN 37212 Seattle, WA 98103 Manna for the Journey /21 __________________________________________ rl ~ Churches (UFMCC), 5300 Santa National Coalition of Gay Monica Blvd., #304, Los Angeles, CA STD Services To find out what work is being 90029. 75ct each or $15/hundred. P.O. Box 239 done in providing community eduMilwaukee, WI 53201-0239 cation on AIDS and support ser" AIDS Training for Volunteers and 414/277-7671 Health Care Providers." A training vices for AIDS patients, check with manual available from The Pacific National Gay Health Association an organization in your area. This Center AIDS Project; P.O. Box 908; 206 N. 35th Street list of organizations working in Berkeley, California 94701. Philadelphia, PA 19143 AIDS-related areas has been put 215/386-5327 together from a variety of sources. It "AIDS Care Beyond the Hospital." A is not intended to be exhaustive of videotape available from San FranNational Gay Health Education all such organizations. It excludes cisco AIDS Foundation; 333 ValenFoundation those which charge for services. Specia; San Francisco, California 94103. P.O. Box 784 cial thanks goes to the Federation of New York, NY 10036 AIDS Related Organizations and 212/563-6313 the AIDS Education Fund of the NATIONAL AIDS-RELATED ORGANIZATIONS National Gay Task Force American Association of Physicians for Human Rights Whitman-Walker Clinic (Washing80 Fifth Avenue ton, D.C.) for their assistance in New York, NY 10011 1050 W. Pacific Coast Highway compiling this list. 212/741-5800Harbor City, CA 90710 Note that some of the agencies 213/548-0491 provide multiple services, while National People With AIDS Projects others are only contacts for informac/ o AIDS Atlanta tion and referrals. American Psychological Association 1801 Piedmont Road, #208 Washington, D.C. 20036 1200 17th Street, N.W. Atlanta, GA 30324 202/955-7600 404/872 -0600 AN AIDS BIBLIOGRAPHY Cahill, Kevin M., ed. The AIDS EpiWomen's AIDS Network demic. New York: St. Martin's Press, Association of Lesbian 707 San Bruno Avenue 1983. & Gay Psychologists San Francisco, CA 94117 1200 17th Street, N.W. American Psychological Association 415/821-7984 Cantwell, Alan, Jr. AIDS: The Mystery Washington, DC 20036 and the Solution. Los Angeles: Aries 202/955-7600 Rising Press, 1983. ARIZONA Gay Nurses' Alliance Fe ttner, Ann Guidici and William A. Tucson Gay Health Project 608 W. 28th Street Check. The Truth About AIDS: P.O. Box 2807 Evolution of an Epidemic. New York: Wilmington, DE 19802 Tucson, AZ 85702 Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1984. Gay Rights National Lobby/ 302/7 64-2208 Tucson Gay Men's Clinic Fromer, Margot Joan. AIDS: Acquired AIDS Project 101 W. Irvington Road Immune Deficiency Syndrome. New P.O. Box 1892 Tucson, AZ 85714 York: Pinnacle Books, 1983. Washington, D.C. 20013 202/546-1801 CALIFORNIA Mayer, Ken and Hank Pizer. The AIDS Gay Men's Health Collective Fact Book. New York: Bantam Books, National AIDS/Pre-AIDS 2339 Durant Avenue1983. Epidemiological Network Berkeley, CA 94704-1670 2676 N. Halsted Street Shelp, Earl E. and Ronald H. Sunder415/ 644-0425 land. "AIDS and the Church." The Chicago, IL 60614 312/943-6600 x424, x389 Christian Century 102 (September AIDS Response Program 11-18, 1985): 797-800. National AIDS Research Gay & Lesbian Community Services & Education Center of Orange CountySiegal, Frederick P. and Marta Siegal. 54 Tenth Street 12832 Garden Grove Blvd., # 200 AIDS: The Medical Mystery. New San Francisco, CA 94103 Garden Grove, CA 92643York: Grove Press, 1983. 415/626-8784 714/534-0862 "AIDS-Is It God's Judgment?" and National Association for Lesbian "What Is the Christian Response to AIDS Project/LA & Gay Gerontology AIDS?" Two pamphlets which can 937 N. Cole, #3 be ordered from: Universal Fellow271 Lacasa Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90038 ship of Metropolitan Community San Mateo, CA 94403 415/349-4537 213/871-1284 22 / Manna for the ]OUllley People With AIDS -Los Angeles AIDS Coordinator KENTUCKY c/o Trainor State Department of Health Services Lexington Gay Services Organization 1752 N. Fuller 150 Washington Street P.O. Box 11471 Los Angeles, CA 90046 Hartford, CT 06106 Lexington, KY 40511 203/566-5058 606/231-0335 Southern CA Mobilization Against AIDS 1428 N. McCadden Place AIDS Project/New Haven LOUISIANA Los Angeles, CA 90028 P.O. Box 636 Crescent City Coalition 2l3/463-3928 New Haven, CT 06503 Louisiana Community Center 203/624-2437 1022 Barracks Street Sacramento AIDS/KS Foundation New Orleans, LA 70116 211 5 J Street, #3 504/568-9619 DELAWARE Sacramento, CA 95816 Gay & Lesbian Alliance of Delaware 9l6/448-AIDS P.O. Box 9218 MARYLAND Wilmington, DE 19809 Baltimore Health Education Owen Clinic 302/7 64-2208 Resource Organization University of California Medical Center Medical Arts Building 225 Dickinson Street DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA Read and Cathedral Street San Diego, CA 92103 Baltimore, MD 21201AIDS Education Fund 714/294-6737 Whitman-Walker Clinic 301/947-2437 2335 18th Street, N.W. AIDS Interfaith Network Washington, DC 2()()()<) Gay Community Center of Baltimore 890 Hayes Street Health Clinic 202/332-5295San Francisco, CA 94117 241 W. Chase Street, 3rd Floor415/558-9644 Baltimore, MD 21201 FLORIDA 301/837-2050People With AIDS/SF AIDS Action Committee 1040 Ashbury, # 5 Florida Keys Memorial Hospital San Francisco, CA 94117 P.O. Box 4073 MASSACHUSETTS 415/665-3787 Key West, FL 33041 AIDS Action Project Fenway Community Health Center San Francisco AIDS Foundation Tampa Bay AIDS 16 Haviland Street 54 Tenth Street P.O. Box 350217 Boston, MA 02115 San Francisco, CA 94117 Tampa, FL 33695-0217 617/267-7573 415/864-4376 Mayor's Task Force on AIDS GEORGIA Shanti Project Room 608AIDS Atlanta 890 Hayes Street City Hall 1801 Piedmont Road, #208 San Francisco, CA 94117 Boston, MA 02201Atlanta, GA 30324 41 5/558-9644 404/872-0600 MICHIGAN AIDS Foundation of Santa Clara County People With AIDS-Atlanta Palmer Clinic 715 N. First Street, # 10 c/o G. McGahee 22750 Woodward San Jose, CA 05112 1235 Monroe Drive, # 1 Detroit, MI 48220408/298-AIDS Atlanta, GA 30306 Wellness Networks, Inc. COLORADO P.O. Box 1046 ILLINOIS AIDS Action Project Colorado AIDS Project Royal Oak, MI 48068 Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Howard Brown Memorial Clinic 800/521-7946 x3582 Colorado 2676 N. Halsted 800/482-2404 x3582 (MI) 1436 Lafayette Street Chicago, IL 60614 Denver, CO 80218 312/871-5777 MINNESOTA Minnesota AIDS Project CONNECTICUT 303/837-0166 People With AIDS-Chicago Lesbian and Gay Community Services Hartford Gay Health Collective c/o Hall 124 West Lake Street 281 Collins Street 3414 N. Halsted Street Minneapolis, MN 55408 Hartford, CT 06105 Chicago, IL 60657 612/827-5614 (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey /23 Gay Men's Health Crisis OKLAHOMA AIDS Task Force Box 274 Health Guard Foundation c/o Dept. of Anthropology 132 W. 24th Street 417 N.W. 9th Street New York, NY 10011 Oklahoma City, OK 73102 212/807-6655 Washington University 405/235-5693St. Louis, MO 63130 Office of Gay & Lesbian Health OREGON NYC Dept. of Health Cascade AIDS Project NEVADA 125 Worth Street, #604 Phoenix Rising FoundationSouthern Nevada Social Services New York, NY 10013 408 S.W. Second, Room 407 P.O. Box 71014 Portland, OR 97204 Las Vegas, NY 89109 People With AIDS/NY 503/223-8299 702/733-9990 Box G27 444 Hudson Street AIDS Task Force New York, NY 10014 Good Samaritan Hospital NEW JERSEY 212/929-5741 NW 23rd Street New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition Portland, OR 97120 AIDS Rochester P.O. Box 1421 1063 E. Main Street PENNSYINANIA New Brunswick, NJ 08903 Rochester, NY 14608 Philadelphia AIDS Task Force P.O. Box 7259 New Jersey State Dept. of Health East End Organization for Philadelphia, PA 19101Division of Communicable Diseases Human Rights 215/232-8055AIDS Office P.O. Box 87 Health & Agriculture Building South Hampton, NY 11968 PUERTO RICO Trenton, NJ 08625 Latin American STD Center 609/292-7300 Long Island AIDS Task Force Centro Medico School of Allied Health Professions Rio Piedras, PR 00922 Health Sciences Center -SUNY 809/754-8118 NEW MEXICO Stony Brook, NY 11794 New Mexico Physicians for 516/444-AIDS TEXAS AIDS Task Force Human Rights Mid-Hudson AIDS Task Force Dallas Gay AllianceP.O. Box 1361 Gay Men's Alliance P.O. Box 190712 Espanola, NM 87532 255 Grove Street Dallas, TX 75219 White Plains, NY 10601 214/528-4233AIDS Task Force P.O. Box 968 NORTH CAROLINA Oak Lawn Counseliqg Center Santa Fe, NM 87504 AIDS Project AIDS Project Lesbian & Gay Health Project 3409 Oak Lawn, #202 P.O. Box 11013 Dallas, TX 75219 Durham, NC 27703 214/528-2081 NEW YORK 919/286-0079Capitol District AIDS People With AIDS-Dallas332 Hudson Avenue GROW, A Community Service c/o Oak Lawn Counseling CenterAlbany, NY 12210 Corporation 3409 Oak Lawn, #202 518/465-6094 P.O. Box 4535 Dallas, TX 75219 Wilmington, NC 28406 Haitian Coalition of AIDS 919/675-9222 ¥..8/AIDS Foundation of Houston 225 Eastern Parkway 1001 Westheimer, #193 Brooklyn, NY 11238 Houston, TX 77006 212/783-2676 OHIO 713/524-AIDS 3101 Burnet Avenue Buffalo AIDS Task Force Ambrose Clement Health Clinic Cincinnati, OH 45229 Montrose Clinic P.O. Box 38 104 Westheimer Bidwell Station Cleveland AIDS Foundation Houston, TX 77006 Buffalo, NY 14222 11900 Edgewater Drive, #907 713/528-5531 716/886-1274 Lakewood, OH 44107 WASHINGTON AIDS Resource Center Open Door Clinic Seattle AIDS Action Project 235 W. 18th Street 237 E. 17th Street 113 Summit Avenue E., #204 New York, NY 10011 Columbus, OH 43201 Seattle, WA 98102 212/206-1414 614/294-6337 206/323-1229 24 / Manna for the Joumey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 2 - Living and Dying With AIDS https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/9c858c3692bcca464d24922e0e148e3d.pdf b056e3a1fa08155ac6d5f7f42ba75b14 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 3 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Winter Text Any textual data included in the document VOL 1, NO.3 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 WINTER 1986 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: A Christian's Case for Civil Rights .............. 6 by Arthur Flemming Discrimination: A Series of Three Articles Loss of Housing and Employment . . . . . . . . . . .. 8 by Tim Tyner and Robert HoH Loss of Parenting Rights. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 9 by Rosalie Davies Abuse and Violence . .......... .............. 11 by Paul Vandenberg and Kevin Berrill ~ The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm th ir mini try with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In thi network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries. the program provides resource materials, including Manna for the Journey. Enablers are available locally to assi t a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue Kevin Berrill Beth Richardson Mark Bowman Bradley Rymph Rosalie Davies Tim Tyner Arthur Flemming Paul Vandenberg Morris Floyd Ralph Watkins Mary Gaddis Steven Webster Robert Holt Fronda Woods Lloyd Lewis William Oliver Graphic Designer Rebecca Parker Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. PermiSSion to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. VOL I, NO. 3 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 WINTER 1986 Contents This edition of Manna for the Journey explores issues relating to lesbian and gay civil rights. Religious publications of recent years have covered the relationship between lesbians/gay men and the church, but have seldom dealt with the status of lesbians and gay men in society. The discrimination faced by lesbians and gay men in our society is presented in three articles: "Abuse and Violence" (p. 11) by Paul Vandenberg and Kevin Berrill; "Loss ofParenting Rights" (p. 9) by Rosalie Davies; and "Loss ofHousing and Employment" (p. 8) by Tim Tyner and Robert Holt. Two case studies analyze particular lesbian/gay civil rights initiatives with an eye toward church involvement. In "Justice in Wisconsin " (p. 20) Steven Earl Webster recounts the passage of the Wisconsin state law in 1982. William Oliver tells of the 1985 referendum which repealed the city of Houston's civil rights ordinance in "Backlash in Houston" (p. 22). Arthur S. Flemming, the well-known civil rights activist, reminds people of faith of their impetus to speak out on the civil rights of all persons in ':A Christian's Case for Civil Rights" (p. 6). To define the arenas in which people of faith can be engaged, Fronda Woods presents "The National Agenda for Lesbian/Gay Civil Rights" (p. 14) and Ralph Watkins provides some practical guidance for 'Involving the Church at the Local Level" (p. 16). "Rights in Question" (p.12) by Morris Floyd looks at the impact of the AIDS epidemic on lesbian and gay civil rights. An anonymous author offers a reflection on "Linking Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia."(p. 5). This issue also provides a partial listing of national organizations, books, and articles on lesbian/gay civil rights in Resources (p. 24). "In Praise of Wisdom" is the theme of a reading and prayer by Rebecca Parker in Sustaining the Spirit (p. 19). Parker is the pastor of Wallingford U.M. Church in Seattle, Washington. The RCP Report (p. 3 ) introduces new Reconciling Congregations and reports on two annual conferences who have given support to the Reconciling Congregation Program (RCP). We trust that this issue will stimulate your awareness of the marginalized status of lesbians and gay men in our society and catalyze church involvement in the civil rights struggles of all persons. Shalom. ~ OF ..----R riCE 2/Manila jar [he JowlIey ISSN 0884-8327 The building houses a senior citizen's housing costs. The church is working Introducing program and was the site of a Head on developing co-ops by obtaining Reconciling Congregations Start program for several years. The housing from the city. In the first two issues ofManna for congregation gives financial support Park Slope has a threefold prothe Journey, we presented brief profiles to several community programs for gram focus. First, there is a focus on of twelve Reconciling Congregations. low-income families and has been the natural growth of the self and Here are three more congregations who active in programs serving Washingdevelopment of persons. Members have recently joined the program. A ton's homeless population. Bet Mishare learning the discipline of meditacomplete list of Reconciling Contion. Second, there is a concern, for pachah, a lesbian and gay synagregations is given below. gogue, shares the church building. society, for justice and freedom for all persons. Park Slope is a support The Gay Men's Chorus of WashUMC/ University-Madison, WI church for the sanctuary movement, ington also uses the building for University Church has a conis a nuclear-free zone, and is active some rehearsals. gregation of 150 members. It is a in South African issues. Third, the campus church with a congregation congregation is committed to protect comprised of students, faculty, and and learn about the natural world. Annual Conference-Level staff of the University of Wisconsin, The sun, the moon, and the earth are Activities Madison, as well as many people seen as instruments of God's creaTwo annual conferences of the tion. The congregation holds equinox from around the city. University United Methodist Church have, in UMC is an urban-style church with and solstice celebrations in the church some way, extended their official a variety of ages. gardens. support to the Reconciling ConFounded in 1913 in a residential The pastor of Park Slope, A gregation Program. We note them area, the congregation has always Finley Schaef, is a former pastor of briefly here: been active in the "social gospel" Washington Square. One of Paul movement. It started the second Abels' predecessors, he was the pasRocky Mountain Annual Conference Wesley Foundation in the nation. tor to open Washington Square to In the fall of 1984, the ReconcilThe programs of University UMC gay liberation groups in the late ing Congregation Program was apare diverse. Since it has a large build1960s. proved by the conference Council on ing, space is provided for community Park Slope first began examining Ministries. A cover letter written by groups such as the Madison Ecugay/ lesbian issues a year ago when a the conference lay leader was sent menical Urban Ministries and the congregation of the Metropolitan with information about the RCP to Gay/Lesbian Resource Center. The Community Church approached the each church's pastor, lay leader, and congregation is involved in hunger church to request rental of facilities. United Methodist Women chairperissues and supports the sanctuary son. The letter recommended the UMC/Christ-Washington, DC movement. University UMC has a program to the local church for Christ Church is a relatively new good choir and continues to sponsor consideration. congregation. It was founded just an active Wesley Foundation. Currently, two or three conover 20 years ago when two dwinUniversity UMC first became gregations are considering the prodling congregations in Washington involved in lesbian/gay issues in gram. were merged and relocated to a vast 1974, when Steve Webster, an openly California-Nevada new community being developed gay member, sought a license to Annual Conference through an urban-renewal project in preach. A growing number of gay Last June, the California-Nevada southwest DC. Through ministries men and lesbians have become with residents of this new comAnnual Conference passed a resoluinvolved in the church. Currently, tion in support of the Reconciling munity, Christ Church has grown one-half of new members joining are Congregation Program (see the full into a racially mixed congregation gay or lesbian. text of this resolution and a resoluwith about 225 members. UMC/Park Slope-Brooklyn, NY Worship and community life are tion on AIDS listed in Mannafor the Journey, vol. 1, no. 2). This resolution focal points of the congregation. A Park Slope Church is a congregastrong music program supports the was brought to the annual contion of 175 members, located in a ference by the conference Board of Sunday morning worship. A Black middle/working class neighborhood Church and Society, which had Heritage celebration each February of Brooklyn, NY. The membership is is one highlight of the worship life. approved the resolution with no racially mixed, though preIn addition, several small support abstentions or "no" votes. dominately white. Housing issues The ease with which the resolugroups meet monthly for nurture are of primary concern to the conand fellowship. tion was approved (it was approved gregation as its neighborhood has by consensus with no real dissent in become involved in a tremendous The congregation is engaged in several ministries in its community. real estate upheaval with soaring (continued on next page) MOllllo for the JOlll1/ey / J the body of annual conference delegates) was a result of several years of hard work by the conference's Homophobia Task Force and other advocates for gay men and lesbians in the UMC. For eight years, those persons have worked with all levels of the church-from local church to annual conference-to be more inclusive of gay men and lesbians. We celebrate the labor and love of these two conferences and their ministries to and with lesbians and gay men. Upcoming Special Events -"AIDS and the Ministry of the Church, " a conference/seminar to be held Saturday, March 22, at the New York Annual Conference Center in ' White Plains, NY. It is sponsored by the conference Board ofChurch and Society and is being planned primarily by folks from Washington Square UMC and consultants. -"Spirituality and Homosexual Persons: A Dialogue Conference, " being held February 28-March 1 in Lincoln, NE. It is sponsored by several groups, including the Nebraska Conference Board of Church and Society. One of the workshops will be on the Reconciling Congregation Program. Manna for the Journey Notes We again express our appreciation to all ofyou who have supported our efforts with this journal by writing, subscribing, and sharing Manna for the Journey with friends and family members. After our first two issues we are about halfway to our target of 1,000 subscriptions at the end of our first year. We invite your continued support. Particularly we welcome letters with comments on the issues produced to date so that we can share your comments with other readers. Themes for upcoming issues of the journal have been planned. They are: SPRING 1986-Family-related Concerns SUMMER 1986-Denominational Policies and Ordination FALL 1986-"Healing" Ministries WINTER 1987-Homophobia/ Heterosexism SPRING 1988-Spirituality and Sexuality We welcome your suggestions for articles and writers for these issues and suggestions for themes for other issues. Ifyou would be interested in writing for one of these issues, please let us know. Affirmation Celebrates 10th Anniversary Sixty folks gathered in Evanston, IL on September 20-22 for the biannual meeting ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbia~ and Gay Concerns. The gathering was held at Wheadon United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. Persons were also present from other Reconciling Congregations: Bethany (San Francisco), Edgehill (Nashville), St. Paul's (Denver), University (Madison), Wallingford (Seattle), and Christ (Washington). This meeting was significant because the first gathering of Affirmation took place 10 years prior in the same local church. Sharing the oral history of the events of the past ten years in the life of Affirmation was an important part of the weekend. Affirmation folks in Chicago prepared a gala dinner dance on Saturday evening to cap the festivities. The weekend closed with a shared Sunday morning worship with members ofWheadon and Affirmation. A dialogue sermon was preached by Ginny Hilton, a United Methodist pastor from Albany, CA, and a parent of a gay man, and Paul Abels, former pastor of Washington Square UMC. Special music was presented by a choir of Affirmation members. With the sanctuary overflowing with people, the community celebrated in song and prayer, and shared hopes and dreams for the coming fullness of the reign of God's justice. Those were two hours of inspiring and energizing worship! The next national meeting of Affirmation will be held April 4-6, 1986, in Seattle, WA Reconciling Congregations Bethany UMC Sl Paul's UMC c/o Christine E. Shiber c/o George Christie 1268 Sanchez Street 1615 Ogden Street San Francisco. CA 94114 Denver. CO 80218 Calvary UMC Sunnyhills UMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o Martha Chow 815 S. 48th Street 335 Dixon Road Philadelphia. PA 19143 Milpitas. CA 95035 Capitol Hill UMC University UMC c/o Pat Dougherty c/o Steven Webster 128 Sixteenth Street East 1127 University Avenue Seattle. WA 981 12 Madison. WI 5371 5 Central UMC Wallingford UMC c/o Howard Abts c/o Chuck Richards 701 West Central at 2115 N. 42nd Street Scottwood Seattle. WA 98103 Toledo. OH 4361 0 Washington Square UMC Christ UMC c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Bea Judge Ed Weaver 4th and Eye Streets. S.W. 135 W. 4th Street Washington. D.C. 20024 New York. NY 10012 Edgehill UMC Wesley UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Warren Russell 1502 Edgehill Avenue 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Nashville. TN 37212 Fresno. CA 93710 Park Slope UMC Wheadon U.M.C. c/o A. Finley Schaef c/o Carol Larson 6th Avenue & 8th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue Brooklyn. NY 11215 Evanston. IL 60201 Sl John's UMC c/o Howard Nash 2705 St. Paul Street Baltimore. MD 21218 4/ Malllla for {III! JOlll71ey Linking§i;laci)m, ~C!xi)m, and-liOmophobia The writer ofthis article is a gay black man who is also a United Methodist pastor. His anonymity is needed to protect his employment. There are those who contend that to speak of the rights of lesbians and gay men as one speaks of the ~ivilrights ofethnic minorities and women is a false comparison. Race and sex, they maintain, are "Godgiven," "natural" states of being, conditions over which one has no choice. Ethnic minorities and women, therefore, should enjoy equal access to all that society has to offer. Such is not the case, so the argument goes, with same-sex orientation, since in the "natural" order ofcreation, it is a given that males and females were made to be attracted only to each other and that to defy that basic order is a matter of choice. The truth, however, is that no one really knows how or why people are homosexual or heterosexual. It is reasonably clear, however, that homosexual orientation cannot be reduced to any specific combination of social factors. It appears across the species in the created order and reappears in all human societies, conditions, and socioeconomic and racial groupings. Homosexuality has existed at least for as long as any anthropological record has been kept, and the orientation, contrary to popular belief, is virtually unchangeable. This being the case, it is necessary to talk about how lesbians and gay men share oppression with blacks and other persons ofcolor and with women. Lesbians and gay men, like ethnic minorities and women, frequently have their existences denied or devalued because of their difference from the societal norm. They, too, are a specific "kind" of people who share certain things among themselves distinguished from others in society. In the case of lesbians and gay men, it is their sexuality. Dr. James Tinney, a noted theologian and journalist at Howard University, maintains that this distinction is related to the physical being (i.e., their bodies) of lesbians and gay men-thus, the commonality with persons of color and with women. (Of course, some homosexual persons are persons of color and women, also.) Society then discriminates against lesbians and gay men because of a difference that is as biophysical as being female or part of an ethnic minority. Whatever it is that leads to same-sex orientation, it is almost certainly is as intrinsic to the being of gay men and lesbians as heterosexuality is to so-called straight people, gender is to women, and color is to ethnic minorities. Lesbians and gay men, like persons of color in the United States, are discriminated against partly because they are fewer in number. Because they do not represent the societal "norm," they are excluded from the mainstream ofthe receiving and delivery ofsocietal goods. But the discrimination against lesbians and gay men-and persons of color-is not due simply to their minority status. They, along with women (who are not a numerical minority), are disproportionately excluded from institutional politics, responsibility, and power. One result is a lack ofprotection from harassment. In San Francisco, former city Supervisor Dan White after killing gay Supervisor Harvey Milk, as well as Mayor George Moscone, was convicted only of a relatively minor charge and received a light sentence, in part because trial jurors accepted the defense's argument that junk food had made White unresponsible for his actions. Members of the Klan suffer relatively small punitive action for their atrocities against blacks, Jews, and Catholics. Women still feel forced to band together in "Take Back the Night" actions merely to maintain their right to walk down the streets after dark without fear of being accosted. A systematic denial of the history and culture of all three groups has left the debilitating, psychological scar of invisibility both in the minds of society and within the groups themselves. This is part ofthe reason gay men and lesbians, ethnic minorities, and women traditionally have not exploited their potential. They have often absorbed the negativity projected on them by the dominant culture-amounting to a great extent to the ultimate oppression, self-deval uation. Some things could be said about the way in which these groups differ from each other. For some, the differences could be explained simply in terms of what it means to be male or female, gay or straight, white or ethnic minority-if there is anything simple about any of those forms of existence. But the differences do not outweigh the similarities, and the need is great for these groups to be constantly aware of the things they do share in common. Lesbians and gay men, ethnic minorities, and women must form alliances so that they are not constantly pitted against one another in the race to get the meager slice of goods so often reluctantly dished out to them. The message is clear: sexism, racism, and homophobia derive from the same imperialistic chauvinism. If one scratches a sexist deep enough, racism appears, and vice-versa. The solutions to these groups' problems cannot be worked out separately, one at a time. The problems associated with each are so inextricably linked to the other that most have to be worked on simultaneously. Otherwise, one bigotry will merely be exchanged for another, and none ofus will be able to enjoy the Kingdom that Jesus promises is right in our midst. After all, no one is God's stepchild; no one is a pauper groveling at the feet of a dispassionate royalty begging leftovers. One friend often reminded me, "Honey, God's storehouse is full." We are all children of the one Creator. In the grand economy of things divine, we are all necessary to the survival not only of society but of the species itself. Malllw./or the Joumey / 5 In 1954, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously found in Brown v. Board ofEducation that segregated schools are "inherently unequal." Such a segregated system denies some children and young people equal access to their community's educational resources and, thereby, the opportunity to achieve their highest possibilities. Since Brown, some strong civil rights law have been enacted. In addition, the Supreme Court and the lower federal courts have enforced these laws through their decisions. The question that has confronted our nation is this: Do we have the commitment and capability to implement these laws and court decisions in a manner that opens up opportunities for those who have been and still are the victims of discrimination? On this question, the jury is still out. The jury's eventual verdict will depend on the willingness of our people to implement the commandment that lies at the center of our JudeoChristian teachings-"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Those who turn aside from opportunities to further human and civil rights violate this commandment. Forty years ago, I read a sermon preached by Leslie Weatherhead, then the pastor of City Temple, in London, England, that was based on this commandment. In that sermon, which has been of tremendous help to me as I have confronted issues in the area of social justice, Dr. Weatherhead pointed out that this commandment does not place upon us an obligation to "like" our neighbor. "Liking" is something that cannot be compelled. It must come from within. He also pointed out that the commandment does not require us to approve of everything that our neighbor says or does. The commandment does, however, according to Dr. Weatherhead, place upon us a common responsibility "to adopt a sustained determination to show unbreakable good will in order that the best qualities in our neighbor may be called forth." Personally, I have found it helpful to summarize our common responsibility in this manner: to never pass up an opportunity to help our neighbor achieve her or his highest possibilities. And who is our neighbor? Jesus answered the question by telling how a Samaritan responded to the needs of a traditional enemy. It is clear that our neighbor is anyone whom circumstance makes it possible for us to befriend. Sometimes we have an opportunity to help someone with whom we come into contact to realize her or his highest possibilities. At other times, we have as citizens the opportunity to support public policies-such as those in the area of civil rights-that open up such opportunities for our neighbors. If we tum aside from either type of opportunity, we violate the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves, and our violation means that one person or many persons will continue to stand on the outside of the doors of opportunity. We have learned that, once a nation such as ours begins to implement civil rights laws and court decisions, the status quo is disturbed. This, of course, is what we wanted when the civil rights movement began. We were dissatisfied with the discriminatory practices that characterized our nation. That is why we asked Congress to pass civil rights laws. That is why we turned to the courts for relief. But some persons have a stake in the status quo. Sometimes the stake is economic; sometimes, emotional. Whatever the reason, however, they want to maintain things the way they are. They want to do everything they can to slow or prevent implementation of civil rights laws and court decisions. Out of this desire has emerged the regressive movement in the field of civil rights. This movement has a well-defined strategy: to do everything possible to weaken or eliminate the methods that must be employed to implement civil rights laws and court decisions. This strategy has had the support of the executive branch of the federal government for the past five years. For example, concerted efforts have been made to undermine the implementation of federal court plans to desegregate public schools by reassigning students and providing transportation where necessary. In spite of these efforts, however, the nation has continued to move forward in implementing Brown v. Board ofEducation. The rate of progress has been slowed, but in hundreds of communities children and young persons have been provided with educational opportunities that otherwise would have been denied them. In addition, desegregation has set forces in motion that have reduced tensions and healed 6 / Manna for the Journey wounds throughout communities. Of course, some desegregation plans have worked better than others. Some have made greater strides than others in the directions of meaningful integration and the improvement of the quality of education. On balance, however, desegregation has served the nation very well, opening doors of opportunity. To take another example, concerted efforts have been made to prevent the implementation of affirmative action plans calling for inclusion of goals and timetables in the area of equal employment. Such plans simply represent a decision on the part of both public and private administrators to include equal employment opportunities as one of their management objectives and then to use the tools of administration to make sure that employment opportunities are opened for the victims of discrimination. An essential tool in reaching any management objective is establishing goals and timetables for reaching those goals. Then, agreement must be reached on the component parts of an action program designed to reach the goal. Assignments must be made of duties and responsibilities to implement the action program. At the same time, it must be clear that those who carry out their assignments will be rewarded and those who do not will be penalized. Public and private employers have successfully used these tools in developing their affirmative action plans in the area of employment. They have opened up opportunities for the victims of discrimination. It is clear that those who have opened the doors of opportunity have been responding affirmatively to the commandment to love one's neighbor as oneself. Nevertheless, affirmative action plans in the area of employment are under attack by the same regressive forces that attempt to undermine school desegregation. Usually these attacks are based on an expressed concern for the welfare of one segment of society-the white male. Such attacks ignore the fact that other persons, because they belong to different groups, collectively suffer discrimination, wrongs that pervade our nation's social, political, economic, and ideological landscape. The only way in which these "group wrongs" can be dealt with effectively is by developing and implementing affirmative action plans. It is true that affirmative action plans can be developed in ways that discriminate against those who do not belong to a traditionally wronged group, This happens very rarely, however, and when it has happened, the courts have recognized it and protected those persons' rights-including the white male's. The fact remains that affirmative action plans in the field of employment provide employers, both public and private, with a means to open the doors of opportunity to members of groups that have been and still are the victims of discrimination solely because they are members of these groups. Many public and private employers have responded to this moral imperative. They have testified to the genuine satisfaction that comes from opening these doors and to the contributions that the implementation of these programs have made to the strengthening of their own programs. In the areas of both education and employment, a great deal remains to be done. The number of persons suffering from discrimination still runs into the millions. We have demonstrated, however, that something can be done about it. People out at the grassroots will continue to insist that we move forward. Similar progress has been made in the area of voting rights. Here again, a great deal remains to be done. In the field of housing, the progress has not been as marked as in the other areas. We have a great deal of unfinished business to handle before the goal of "fair housing" becomes more than a distant goal. And, despite the progress that has been made in the past 32 years, work remains to be done to enact needed civil rights laws. We need the Civil Rights Restoration Act, an act designed to make clear that when any part of an educational ins ti tution, for example, receives federal funds, the entire institution-not just the unit receiving the funds-must conform to civil rights laws. We also need to have the Fair Housing Amendment introduced in 1985 enacted into law. That legislation would, among other improvements, provide an effective administrative remedy for individual victims of discrimination. We likewise need legislation that spells out at the federal leve1 the civil rights of lesbians and gay men. The civil rights movement must not only concentrate on the "right of access" to education, employment, voting and housing. It must also focus on "opportunities for access." It must be concerned about the federal government accepting its responsibilities and obligations as a partner with state and local governments and the private sector in opening up opportunities in education, employment, and housing. Any citizen who fails to focus on this issue refuses to accept our common responsibility never to turn our backs on opportunities to help our neighbors achieve their highest possibilities. Ibelieve that out at the grass roots, millions of persons are trying to make the commandment "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself' a part of their personal lives. They recognize a moral imperative never to pass up opportunities to help their neighbors realize their highest possibilities. They support the basic values underlying the civil rights movement. In fact, because many of them have responded to the challenges that are a part of the movement-and because, on the basis of their own observations, they know that desegregation, equal employment, and fair housing policies can be made to work-I believe there is more support for the values underlying the civil rights movement today than there was at any time in the 1960s or 1970s. Our job is to do a better job of focusing that support on the specific issues as they arise. We can and shall overcome! Manna/i),. The }OLll7lCY / 7 s It I ~I N '1' I C) N harassment, and transfer of gay Most Americans take for Tim Tyner is a graduate ofthe law school at the University ofKansas who has practiced with men and lesbians remains comgranted equal rights to a criminal defense firm and as police liaison mon practice in many cities. housing and employ- with the Dallas City Attorney's Office. Robert In California, lesbian and gay ment. It is generally assumed that Holt received his law degree from Temple employees of state-protected quasiemployees who perform their resUniversity and has served as a criminal law governmental monopolies are enponsibilities satisfactorily will have advisor to the Texas Court ofCriminal Appeals and the Dallas Court ofAppeals. They formed titled to the same protections as their continued employment asthe law partnership of Tyner and Holt in 1985. sured. Fulfilling the obligations of lesbians and gay men who work for Both are members of Oak Lawn United the state government. The Califora tenant in a lease situation such as Methodist Church in Dallas and the Dallas-Fort paying rent or the making of paynia Supreme Court in Gay Law Worth Affirmation group. Students Association v. Pacific Telements under a mortgage secures the phone has held that the telephone tenant or mortgagor continued ed prohibitions on discrimination company's activities are so closely possession of a home. on the basis of sexual orientation connected with the state governHistorically, discrimination has within its jurisdiction. In most ment and so greatly affect public been directed toward certain localities, employers may lawfully groups in our society. In the notwelfare that they are quasi-governdiscriminate against employees on too-distant past, women, blacks, mental in character and thus the the basis of sexual orientation. equal protection guarantee of the and other minorities were frequenstate constitution and other state tly denied the right to employment and housing. In recent decades, statutes prohibits the company Employment federal laws such as the Civil from arbitrarily excluding qualified lesbians or gay men from job Rights Act of 1964, as well as Wisconsin has led the nation by opportunities. This legal theory various state and municipal orenacting a statute banning discrimdinances, -have, for the most part, does not exist in most states, ination in the public and private however. prohibited discrimination based sectors based on sexual orientation With regard to federal employon race, sex, age, religion, or na( see article, p. 20). Governors of ment of civilians, Section 3301 of tional origin, although remnants of other states (for example, Calisuch discrimination still persist in Title 5 of the United States Code fornia, New Mexico, New York, the United States today. provides that the president may and Rhode Island) have issued exOne major area in which disecutive orders prohibiting such disprescribe regulations for admission crimination remains legal in many crimination in state employment. into Civil Service that will "best places is discrimination against lespromote the efficiency of that serMany cities such as Austin, Los bians and gay men. Few judges or vice." Regulations issued in DeAngeles, Minneapolis, and Washlegislators have seen fit to protect cember 1973 prohibit finding a ington, D.C., have similar muniindividuals from discrimination person unsuitable for federal emcipal ordinances. In such cities, based on sexual orientation. As a ployment merely because he is gay lesbians and gay men are, in result, many lesbians and gay men or she is lesbian. The regulations go theory, able to be open about their who work as other persons' emon to say that dismissal or the findsexual orientation. Some local ployees or who rent their homes ing of unsuitability is permissible if ordinances pertain only to employlive in fear of their sexual orientaevidence establishes that a person's ment by the municipal governtion being discovered. Often, the homosexual conduct affects job fitment; others forbid employment revelation of a gay or lesbian idenness. Also, security clearances often within the private sector as well. tity results in being fired from a job are denied to persons who are susHowever, similar ordinances have or in having a landlord refuse to pected of being lesbian or gay. No been repealed In places such as renew a lease or, worse, undertake laws prohibit discrimination Miami, St. Paul, and Houston, and eviction proceedings. against lesbians and gay men by most cities in the United States Legal protection for lesbians the U.S. Armed Forces, and the have no employment protection and gay men is offered only where whatsoever for gay men and lesrevelation of a gay or lesbian identhe municipality or state has enactbians. As a result, discrimination, tity remains cause for dismissal 8/Malllla for [he Jowlley ~ I) I s from military service. One particularly sensitive subject for the courts and our society has long been the employment of gay men and lesbians as teachers. Most courts, upon any evidence that students may be influenced by a teacher's sexual orientation, will uphold a dismissal. This is perhaps due to the common mythologies that gay men molest children and are seeking to make recruits. Despite debunking ofthese myths and the outstanding examples provided by many gay and lesbian teachers, widespread discrimination exists. Fortunately, a few recent judicial decisions may provide hope that this situation is improving. The U.S. Supreme Court recently overturned an Oklahoma law that sought to deny employment to any teacher who spoke supportively of gay men and lesbians outside ofthe classroom. And, in Morrison v. State Board of Education, the California Supreme Court overturned the dismissal of a teacher for homosexual conduct, holding that "immoral conduct permits the dismissal of a teacher only when the state, when It I I N taking into account the totality of the circumstances, can prove unfitness to teach." Housing Gay men and lesbians are protected from discrimination in housing in only two states-Wisconsin (by virtue of a statute that includes sexual orientation on its list of prohibited categories of discrimination) and California (under the Unruh Civil Rights Act, which the state Supreme Court in 1982 held to prohibit discrimination against gay and lesbian people.) The District of Columbia and various other progressive municipalities also have enacted city ordinances banning discrimination against gay men and lesbians in the area of housing (see chart on p.18). Outside of these cities and states, landlords have wide discretion in determining to whom to rent. Gay men and lesbians sometimes must be creative to protect themselves from discrimination in housing. For example, if a state or locality prohibits discrimination it I C) N on the basis of marital status, a gay man or lesbian might successfully proceed against a landlord on that basis, as did two men in Washington state in 1978. Sometimes, but certainly not always, gay and lesbian tenants are protected by virtue of having a written lease. In such circumstances, unless the tenant breaches some specific clause of the lease, eviction on the sole basis ofthe tenant being gay or lesbian is not possible. Nevertheless, a landlord may still be able to refuse to renew a gay or lesbian tenant's lease when it expires. U ntiI municipal ordinances or state or federal laws are enacted prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, there is little to protect gay men and lesbians from discrimination in housing and employment in many parts ofthe United States. Every gay man and lesbian working together to promote such legislative enactment would hasten an enlightened change in our legal system today. Married in the 1950s, I was young and naive both about my sexuality and about my role as a woman in society. Fourteen years and two children la ter, I discovered both my lesbianism and feminism. For several years, I shared an ad hoc joint custody arrangement with my former husband until he remarried and moved to Canada. Thereafter, a bitter custody battle ensued in Rosalie Davies is a feminist attorney and a founder and coordinator of Custody Action for Lesbian Mothers, Inc., a free litigation support service for the Delaware River Valley and a national consulting service. which I not only lost custody of my children, a boy and a girl then aged 15 and 12, but became alienated from my children in the process. My court-ordered visitation award was so punitive that I could only see my son and daughter in the home of my parents for two weeks a year and could only call my children once a week. Separated from my children by over 1,000 miles and with little or no rapport remaining, the future looked grim. Every week I called. Often they were "unavailable," but I just kept calling. Every visitation I flew them to my parents' home, and I flew to (continued on next page) Malllla/or the JOlll1ler / 9 10 / Mallllajor the Joumey I s It I I N 11 I () N a gay father must show that the meet them. Loss of Parenting Rights (continued) immorality of a lesbian lifestyle in mother is unfit to parent in some Within one year, the new stepand of itself is sufficient to deny a way, such as abuse, neglect, or drug mother had lost her glamor. My mother custody. Thus, the work of addiction. To become natural fason left his father's home, and my CALM is even more critical today thers, gay men must look to surdaughter was also expressing unthan in the past. rogate mothers, a quasi-legal alhappiness in our weekly calls. Over However, in the past few years a ternative at best. Rare programs the next few months, a plan was whole generation of women who exist to place gay teens into gay hatched. On the next visitation, came out of the closet in the 1960s homes, but adoption is virtually they would not return to their as lesbians and feminists, without impossible. A few gay men have father but instead would travel guilt or prior heterosexual marriages, sought out lesbian women for back to Pennsylvania with me. decided they would exercise their shared-custody arrangements, but During this period of separaright to choose motherhood. In the such child-rearing commitments tion and grieving for my children, I 1970s and early 1980s, lesbians are fraught with many pitfalls. had founded an organization in turning 30, like many economically These include, for example, the Philadelphia called Custody Acself- sufficient single women, heedforced mobility of a high unemtion for Lesbian Mothers (CALM), ed their biological time clocks and ployment economy and the difthe mission of which was to ensure decided to embark upon motherficulty of two people united only by that lesbians would no longer be hood via artificial insemination or the desire to raise a child to agree stereotyped and prejudged in the self-insemination. Some employed on the multitude of decisions recourtroom as I had been. Within the service of sperm banks with the garding health, education, and one year, my lover and I had raised assistance of liberal physicians welfare of that young person over a some money from private founsympathetic to their needs. Before 20-year period. dations, and our litigation support the AIDS scare, others went to the gay male community and requestservice had begun. To strengthen It is ironic that in our society, in ed sperm donors and then insemour skills, I entered law school as which there is so much need for inated themselves with turkey bastan open lesbian. With the aid of loving and caring parenting, cerers. Some raised their children other lesbian and gay lawyers, we tain persons with the desire and communally with other lesbians developed courtroom strategies and skill for parenting are restricted in also experiencing motherhood; collected psychosocial data to suptheir capability to carry that out. some lived as couples and had to port our cause. And, of course, it is children who decide who would bear the child. Over the next decade, the posisuffer most because of this. For lesOthers took the plunge alone. tion oflesbian mothers vis-a-vis the bians and gay men alike, our best Thus far, few of these arrangeappeals courts improved dramatihope for controlling discrimination ments have come to the attention of cally. However, horror stories in the lies in the passage of the Uniform the courts. Suffice it to say that lower courts continued to abound. Child Custody Act. * This act has anonymity is the key. Two courts One judge, upon awarding visitaalready passed in several states. Its have decided that a sperm donor tion, warned the mother not to kiss language limits judicial discretion once known has all the rights of an her children because "everyone by requiring that, before parental unwed father. As to lesbian "marknows that venereal disease is rambehavior can be used as a factor to riages," such custody cases that pant in the homosexual comdetermine custody, a connection have ensued from the breakup of munity." Another mother was demust first be shown between the these unions have entitled the nied custody in part because she specific behavior and a negative natural mother to custody and the had assisted her lover in delivering emotional or psychological impact nonbiological or psychological parkids- baby goats-apparently a on the child. Such legislation can ent has been awarded a measure of wholly unnatural act when perhelp move our society toward more visitation. Still, with more and formed by a lesbian. One case cited emphasis on the well-being of more legislation going on the books the presence of Ms. magazine on children and less concern with actto regulate artificial insemination, the coffee table as symptomatic of ing out social prejudices on parents. the influence of the New Right has moral decline, and another mencreated sanctions both on physitioned a parent's lover's rocking in cians who inseminate lesbians and *More infonnation on the Uniform Child on women who inseminate themthe household rocking chair as Custody Act can be obtained from the evidence of perversion. American Bar Association. One publication available is: Interstate and Interselves. When we look to gay men who national Child Custody Disputes: A CollecUnfortunately, the Reagan era either sired children in heterosextion of Materials. (March 1984. 239 pages.) has caused a right-wing backual marriages or who wish to The cost of this is $15.00 from: American lash even in the higher courts. Bar Association, Order Fulfillment, 750 N. Pennsylvania has led the way with become parents, the situation is Lakeshore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611. 312/ even less optimistic than it is for 988-5555. a decision squarely stating that the lesbians. To win custody even today, I I s II I )1 I N '1' I C) Since July 1984, several incidents of violence against gay men and lesbians have made their way into the nation's newspapers. In Bangor, Maine, a young gay man was assaulted by three teenagers and thrown over a bridge to his death. A San Francisco man was set upon by a gang of youths who, amid cries of "faggot" and "queer," beat him to death. In Miami, two men were beaten so savagely by a gang that they can no longer speak or write. In Jacksonville, Florida, the local Metropolitan Community Church was set on fire for the second time in a year. These incidents may seem distant and out of the ordinary. Evidence shows, however, that violence and the threat of violence is a real danger that most gay men and lesbians live with daily. An eight-city study of anti-gay/ lesbian violence published by the National Gay Task Force (NGTF) in 1984 revealed that more than one in five gay men and one in ten lesbians had been physically assaulted because of their sexual orientation. More than 40 percent had been threatened with violence. Thirtyfour percent were verbally abused by members of their family, and 7 percent had been physically abused as well. Nearly two-thirds said that anti-gay/lesbian violence was so pervasive that they feared for their safety.* In addition to crimes motivated by fear and hatred, gay men and lesbians are victimized because they frequently are perceived to be "easy targets," unable to fight back or unwilling to risk exposure by reporting crimes against them. Like some heterosexual persons, some lesbians and gay men are vic- Paul Vandenberg is a former United Methodist representative to the Governing Board of the National Council ofChurches and past cochair of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Kevin Bemll is Director of the Violence Project of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. timized by partners or lovers; others are victims ofcrime that are simply random in nature. Many victims are afraid that they will be victimized a second time if they step forward. They cite hostility and discrimination as reasons for neither reporting incidents nor seeking services available to them. Some of those reporting who do seek help find that the very people responsible for protecting and assisting them are unresponsive to their needs or even overtly hostile. Because gay men and lesbians often fear exposure, stigmatization, and discrimination, they suffer alone. Those who are not "out" about their sexual orientation find they must lie about the circumstances of the incident to their family, employer, and even friends. Their inability to share what really happened can provoke intense feelings of isolation. Like victims of rape, victims of anti-gay/lesbian violence are sometimes blamed for their victimization. They are told that the incident might never have happened if they had been more "discreet" or less visible.,These attitudes can trigger guilt and self-blame in victims, who often wonder whether a homophobic attack was a punishment for their "unacceptable" lifestyle. Such doubts can begin to unravel a lifetime of struggle to accept and affirm who they are and N how they love. Those who are singled out for anti-gay/lesbian attacks often feel "exposed," with their sexual identity particularly noticeable. They may begin to believe that future attacks are imminent and respond to this fear by limiting their contact with the rest of the world. They may also take steps to conceal their sexual orientation, further increasing their feelings of isolation and alienation. Gay men and lesbians are stereotyped as powerless ("sissies" or "pansies") or as inappropriately powerful ("diesel or bull dykes"). Even those who have overcome notions that they are weak or have no right to be strong may reexperience these feelings following an attack. These feelings can negatively affect their ability to cope with the aftermath of violence. Another problem is that secondary victims are frequently overlooked, especially when they are the partners or lovers of gay or lesb,ian victims. Because gay and lesbian relationships are not legally sanctioned, the needs of lovers are seldom acknowledged or met. The police often fail to deal sensitively with friends and lovers of gay or lesbian victims, and many hos( continued on next page) *Since this study's release in the summer of 1984, it has been praised by researchers, including Dr. Marvin Wolfgang, director of the University of Pennsylvania Center for Studies in Criminology and Criminal Law. Violence surveys conducted by the Wisconsin Governor's Council on Lesbian and Gay Issues and the Philadelphia Lesbian and Gay Task Force have shown rates of victimization similar or identical to those documented in the NGTF study. For a copy of the NGTF Violence Study and sample survey, send $10.00 to National Gay Task Force, 80 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10011. 212/741-5800. Manna/or the Jowlley / 11 I S (~ It I ~I Abuse and Violence (continued) pitals still deny them visiting privileges. Failure to respect these relationships compounds and prolongs the suffering of both the primary and secondary victims. What can be done to address the needs of lesbian and gay victims and to ensure that they receive the compassion and consideration that all victims deserve? 1. Improved services for lesbian and gay victims. Police, criminal justice personnel, victim services agencies, rape crisis centers, youth agencies, domestic violence programs, and mental health facilities need to improve their services and outreach to the gay/lesbian community. Within the United Methodist Church, congregations, districts, and annual conferences should initiate comprehensive training programs to help their clergy members understand and respond more effectively to the needs oflesbian and gay crime victims; publicize their programs to the lesbian/gay community; work cooperatively with lesbian and gay organizations and support services; and create a supportive environment for their lesbian and gay employees-beginning with the establishment of an official policy prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. 2. Increased research into lesbian and gay victimization. While the prevalence of anti-gay/lesbian violence has been demonstrated, more research is needed to understand the full dimensions of the problem and the particular issues facing lesbian and gay victims. Congregations can easily replicate the NGTF study in their communities to publicize the problem of anti-gay/lesbian violence. 3. Guaranteed civil rights for lesbians and gay men. The absence of legal protections for gay and lesbian citizens has a critical effect on their ability to deal with the aftermath of crime. As long as they risk losing jobs, housing, child custody, and other basic rights by "coming out," large numbers will choose not to report crimes against them and I seek services available to victims. In failing to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, our government permits-indeed facilitiates-violence and crime against gay men and lesbians by inhibiting them from seeking redress through the criminal justice system. The church bears much responsibility for the prevalence of anti-gay/lesbian violence and for the lack of official response to the problem. For centuries, it actively persecuted homosexuals and committed unspeakable acts of physical and psychic violence against them. Today, right-wing religious leaders and organizations help foster an atmosphere of fear and intolerance that leads to violence. While some may profess to "hate the sin, but love the sinner," they send out direct mail pledging to "stop the homosexuals dead in their tracks." They issue "battle plans" and "declarations of war" against homosexuality. They declare that AIDS is God's "punishment" against homosexuals, and some even call for the quarantine of all gay men. The same church that has ignored, justified, and even perpetrated violence against lesbians and gay men must now lead the way to ending such violence. While most mainline Christian denominations have passed resolutions supporting lesbian and gay civil rights, they are still so concerned with the alleged sin of homosexuality that they fail to confront the sin of homophobia. The church can begin by vigorously speaking out against anti-gay/lesbian violence and by encouraging official measures to study and remedy these problems. Clergy and laity must together reexamine their personal and theological attitudes toward homosexuality and work to eradicate the homophobia that leads to violence. Furthermore, they should affirm and support lesbians and gay men who choose to participate in the church and extend church outreach to the lesbian and gay community. N 11 '1' I C) N Mom:" Floyd is a member of the CaliforniaPacific annual conference ofthe United Methodist Church and is one ofthe official spokespersons for Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concems. A major Texas corporation requires some employees to be tested for antibodies to the AIDS virus. Minneapolis, Minnesota, landlords refuse to rent apartments to an AIDS service organization to provide temporary housing for its clients. The Pentagon announces that all service members will be tested for exposure to the AIDS virus. Parents of 100 Washington Borough, New Jersey, elementary students keep their children at home to protest attendance by a boy whose sister has an AIDS-related condition. In Houston, Texas, mayoral candidate Louie Welch offhandedly suggests a solution to the AIDS epidemic: "Shoot the queers." Though all available evidence is that AIDS cannot be transmitted through the air or through casual contact, fear of the disease is causing many actions and proposed policies to restrict persons with AIDS (PWAs) and those infected with HTLV-III, the virus believed to cause it. As a result, the epidemic threatens to reverse progress toward the assurance of civil rights for gay men and lesbians. 12/MallJla/ or the '/OWlIey Floyd The saddest experiences are those of PWAs who find themselves suddenly with nowhere to live, as fearful roommates, lovers, or family members ask them to move out. Many of these PWAs lack the money and energy required to locate another place to live. But, even without these problems, they may be unable to do so. Potential tenants frequently are asked why they are leaving their present situation, and, if the PWA answers truthfully, the door may close on the new possibility as well. The housing problem is complicated for many persons with an AIDS-related diagnosis by loss of their jobs. Fearing that customers will stay away if they know that an AIDS patient works in a store, restaurant, or office, employers are firing those diagnosed with AIDS. Others tind it difficult to resist the threats of a walkout by co-work rs who fear that they could becom infected by working in proximity to a PWA. In still other situations, an IDS diagnosis provides a convenient excuse to get rid of a gay employee. These actions are forbidden in some jurisdictions by state or local tatutes that prohi it discrimination on the basis of a disability. Enforcement of these laws, however, is often complicated, time consuming, and costly. A PWA may well decide not to spend valuable emotional and physical energy in a fight that may be won only posthumously. The availability of a test for antibodies to HTLV-III has created a much larger group vulnerable to similar forms of discrimination. The test was licensed for use by blood collection centers so that they could avoid the use of blood contaminated by the virus. It is not a test for AIDS and has little practical value when used outside a population at substantial risk for AIDS, other than for blood screening. Current evidence is that few of those infected by the AIDS virus will in fact develop the disease. Because such a large proportion ofthose with AIDS are gay, men who test positive for antibodies to HTLVHI are frequently assumed to be gay or bisexual and may face discrimination on that basis. Furthermore, the rate of positivity is so high among gay and bisexual men (50 percent or more in some urban centers) that actions taken against sero. positive individuals will particularly affect that group. In some places, restrictions may even be extended to all those at high risk for AIDS, "just to be on the saf side." The planned screening of all members of the military is an example of how misuse of the HTLV-III antibody test could have far-reaching civil liberties consequences. Pentagon officials first said that the test results would be used only to identify those whose health should be monitored. They later admitted that they would discharge anyone whose test result indicated homosexual activity or intravenous drug use. Lesbian/ gay rights leaders fear the military's use of the test will legitimate its use elsewhere as a means of identifying and excluding gay men. A powerful economic incentive exists for the exclusion of those at risk for AIDS from situations where an institution or employer becomes directly or indirectly responsible for health-care expenses. The average PWA lives 18 to 24 months after diagnosis and incurs up to $150,000 in medical expenses. HTLV-IlI testing provides employers, insurance companies, and others a convenient means to identify and exclude those they feel are most likely to fall into a high-risk group. Interestingly, however, employers have not shown a similar interest in excluding smokers, even though those persons are also at high risk for a number of expensive-to-treat health conditions. Perhaps the greatest force for discrimination against gay men in this generation is the public perception that they are to blame for AIDS. Fueled by the demagoguery of persons like the Rev. Jerry Falwell, this attitude has already had a noticeable impact on public policy debates around the country. AID has been cited as a reason for not passing lesbian/gay civil right legislation, and an official ofthe Centers for Disease Control has suggested an end to all gay sexual activity as the best means to end the epidemic. The Wash ington (D.C.) Times, a conservative daily newspaper, editorialized, "Those who suffer from AIDS ..., in a sense, went looking for their affliction ....We are all responsible for our actions, and AIDS isn't a no-fault disease." It is difficult to escape the conclusion that the AIDS epidemic is one more occasion for blaming the victim. Unfortunately public policy is not always determined by logic. Irrational and hysterical reactions to a dreaded ailment can create demands that public officials find hard to resist. A closer study of statements favoring large-scale governmental action to revoke individual freedoms in the name of disease control will usually uncover motivations of homophobia and other such fears of persons who are different. AIDS is a real health concern. Each of us needs to be wellinformed about the disease, and those persons who are in high-risk groups should take the precautions deemed necessary to prevent infection. Yet AIDS is not a license to unleash the floodwaters of homophobia that have been building up due to their increasing social unacceptability. Churche have an important advocacy role to play, both in the educational efforts about AIDS and in ensuring the civil rights of individuals who may be trampled by irrational fears and desperate actions of self-protection and repression. Mal/l/aJor {he .Ioumey / 13 by Fronda Woods Fronda Woods is an attorney in Washington, D.C. Recent congressional action on issues affecting lesbians and gay men has been a mixture of good _news, bad news, and political caution. The good news is that Congress has acted quickly to beef up AIDS research funding, in response to the concerns of many persons. The bad news is that proposed civil rights legislation affecting gay men and lesbians is receiving only lukewarm support in Congress, reflecting the current administration's general lack of enthusiasm for civil rights. In between is proposed immigrationreform legislation, which currently can be found in the status of much legislation-it is stalled in committee. AIDS Funding Hardly a day goes by without some mention of AIDS in the news, and funding for AIDS research and treatment has likewise received a good deal of recent congressional attention. T E NIIONAL AGENDA FOR ESBAN I GAY CIVIL RIGHTS In September 1985, the House of Representatives approved $196.3 million in AIDS funding for the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) in fiscal 1986. In October, the Senate approved $221 million. As of this writing, the two bills had been submitted to a conference committee, a group that includes members from both legislative bodies. The conference committee will work out a compromise bill, and the result will be submitted to the full Congress for final approval. The bulk of the money to be appropriated, approximately double the 1985 funding level, would go to HHS's AIDS research efforts.* The Senate bill also includes $16 million for model AIDS-treatment programs. In addition, the Senate approved $10 million, and the House $6.6 million, for AIDS research by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Congress handles the FDA's budget separately from that of HHS. The FDA figures have also been submitted to a conference committee, which will decide on a compromise amount for final congressional approval. Civil Rights Many folks are surprised to learn that discriminating against lesbians and gay men is legal under current federal law. I recently mentioned to my office mate that many of my friends conceal their lesbian or gay identity at work because they fear for their jobs. My office mate was skeptical and said, "Oh, there must be laws saying you can't discriminate against gay people." He was shocked when I replied, "No, there aren't." The Civil Rights Act of 1964 forbids discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, and national origin but does not extend civil rights protection to lesbians and gay men. So far as federal law is concerned, employers may legally refuse to hire lesbians or gay men, and landlords may legally refuse to rent to gay or lesbian couples. In 1975, a bill to extend civil rights protection to lesbians and gay men was introduced in Congress for the 14/Malllla for the Joumey first time. Since then it has been reintroduced each year, but it has not gained the support needed for passage. The lesbian/gay rights bill would amend existing civil rights laws to prohibit discrimination on the basis of affectional or sexual orientation, which the bill defines to mean "male or female homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality by orientation or practice, by and between consenting adults." The bill would ban discrimination against lesbians and gay men in employment, housing, public facilities, and federally funded programs. As of October 1985, 67 representatives and 6 senators had signed on as cosponsors of the 1985 version of the lesbian/gay rights bill. There are, however, 435 representatives and 100 senators, and it is unlikely that the bill will become law at any time soon. Civil rights is currently not a popular issue in the federal government. Many members support the objectives of the lesbian/ gay rights bill, but they feel it would be politically unwise to cosponsor the bill publicly at this time. Immigration The Constitution gives Congress the power to enact laws governing immigration and naturalization. Congress thus has the constitutional authority to exclude undesirable classes of aliens, such as terrorists and drug smugglers, from the United States. In 1952, Congress determined that homosexual persons were an undesirable class of aliens. Under the 1952 law, which is still on the books, foreign nationals who are "afflicted with psychopathic personality, or sexual deviation, or a mental defect" are prohibited from entering the United States. Courts have interpreted "sexual deviation" to include homosexuality, and the Supreme Court has upheld decisions to deport alien on the basis of their homosexuality. In 1984, Representative Barney Frank CD-Mass.) introduced an immigration-reform bill in the House. This bill would extensively revise the grounds for excluding foreign nationals from the United States. In particular, gay and lesbian foreign nationals could no longer be excluded solely because of their homosexuality. The 1985 version of the bill had 60 cosponsors in the House as of October 1985. No bill has yet been introduced in the Senate. The Reagan administration has reacted favorably to Rep. Frank's bill. In hearings before the House Judiciary subcommittee on immigration, a representative of the Department of Health and Human Services testified in favor of it. In late 1985, however, the bill was still in committee, and it was unlikely to reach the House floor by the end of that year. The protection of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men on the national level is still a long way from enactment. While it is a popular belief in our society that the civil rights and freedoms of all persons are respected, the reality is not so. Lesbians and gay men are among the most vulnerable social groups in our society. It is critical that representatives and senators be informed of the need for such civil rights protection and that there is a large constituency, within the churches particularly, that qdvocates it. Church Leaders Support Gay Civil Rights Bill In the summer of 1985 several church leaders sent a letter to the representatives who had co-sponsored the lesbian/gay civil rights ill in the House expressing appreciation for their support. A similar letter was sent to other representatives inviting their support. These letters read in part: Our religious traditions teach the importance of providing equal justice to all persons and respect for the dignity ofeach person. We believe that the basic rights ofemployment, housing, and access to public services should not be denied anyone merely by reason oftheir sexual orientation. As representatives ofreligious traditions we recognize a .~pecial responsibility to provide moral leadership in improving public under. tanding of this issue and the persons it affects. While some of our traditions oppose the practice ofhomosexuality, our traditions maintain trong support for the protection of the basic civil and human nghts ofall persons. We support this particular legislation as necessary to secure the basic human rights of lesbians and gay men. The letters were signed by: Leland Wilson, Director, Washington Office, Church of the Brethren Raymond Nathan, Director, Washington Ethical Action Office, American Ethical Union Garnett Day, Division of Homeland Ministries, Christian Church William Weiler, Director, Washington Office, Episcopal Church Robert Z. Alpern, Director, Washington Office, Unitarian Universalist Association Rabbi David Saperstein, Co-director and Counsel, Religious Action Center, Union of American Hebrew Congregations George Chauncey, Director. Washington Office, Presbyterian Church (USA) Charles V. Bergstrom, Office for Governmental Affairs. Lutheran Council in the USA Guillermo Chavez, Dept of Political and Human Rights. Board of Church and Society, United Methodist Church Faith Evans, Office for Church in Society, United Church of Christ * Ed. note: While Congress and the administration have substantially increased funding for AIDS research, federal spending for other health-related research and programs have been proportionately reduced. Since much of the funds cut would benefit the health concerns of other minority groups, this has served to pit the interests of one minority group against those of others. Mannalor tlzeJoumey/15 by Ralph Watkins Ralph Watkins is a graduate ofUnited Theological Seminary and the Washington College ofLaw at The American University. He is a member of the District ofColumbia bar. A signal event for the recognition of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men happened on Saturday, _June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. On that night, the New York City police raided the private gay club in Greenwich Village and evicted 200 men. Much to the surprise of the police, who regarded gay men as passive "sissies," the crowd outside soon doubled in size and fought back, forcing the police to retreat into the bar, where they barricaded the doors for protection. When reinforcements arrived to rescue the police trapped in the bar, a one-hour riot erupted. Four police officers and an undetermined number of gay men were injured, and 13 arrests were made. This violent event produced two distinct shock waves that have had an impact on the lesbian/gay civil rights movement. First, the release of the pent-up anger against the capricious actions of the police brought a new sense of strength and pride to the lesbian/gay community, not unlike that felt by the black community after Rosa Parks' refusal to move to the rear of a Montgomery, Alabama, bus. Second, the political establishment recognized the risks of unreasonable discrimination that could provoke a group of people to the point of violent attacks on the officers of the city government. A community's recognition of its power and the wider community's recognition of the need for respect of a minority's rights were also hallmarks of the struggle for civil rights of black Americans. Like that struggle, the lesbian/gay civil rights movement contains arenas of action on all levels of government with opportunities for involvement of the religious community. It is important to understand the pivotal role the religious community plays in the political debate. The philosophy that underlies legal hostility toward gay men and lesbians is the result of centuries of religious teaching that homosexuality is unnatural and immoral. Much of the legal debate revolves around the propriety of the state regulating the morals of individual citizens. In this context, the church is perceived as having a special interest and authority. And, because of the long history of religious advocacy of legal oppression of lesbians and gay men, unless a church or religious leader expressly advocates lesbian/gay rights the political community assumes those leaders are in opposition. Church involvement in advocacy of the rights of gay men and lesbians is possible only where there has been sufficient education and dialogue within the church community for that advocacy to flow genuinely from the faith commitment of church members. It is important for church members to learn about the actual experience of lesbians and gay men with the law and to awaken their awareness of the biblical witness for the oppressed. It is unrealistic to expect to achieve a complete reversal of prejudice or unanimity in support of a particular strategy of witness. But, by building within a church a base of people who understand advocacy of the acceptance of gay men and lesbians as an expression of faith, a witness for lesbian/gay rights can be strengthened in the larger community. The first issue that may need to be addressed within a church as well as in the larger community is one of perspective. The general understanding of homosexuality as a "moral" question assumes two things that must be challenged-first, that homosexuality is simply a matter of the choice of some people to engage in certain sexual acts, and, second, that morality is simply a matter of conforming to a set of rules. The law and the church are beginning to recognize that homosexuality is an orientation, a personal characteristic that is not changeable. Still, it is important for the church to repeat one basic truth to keep clear a moral dimension that is too often overlooked: a community is obligated to protect the basic rights of its citizens from unreasonable 16/MallIIa for rheJounzey discrimination. Lesbians and gay men are at risk of the loss of their jobs, their housing, and other basic elements of life if people discover they are gay or lesbian. Where laws prohibiting sodomy still exist, there is also a risk of criminal prosecution. These tremendous legal pressures are brought to bear on individuals in the hope of forcing them to choose to act contrary to their basic orientation. The church must speak out against the cruelty and futility of this social pressure, and the most effective means of doing that is confronting the underlying assumption of choice and bearing witness to the truth of sexual orientation. A recurring theme in the battle to secure civil rights is the claim of some that civil rights laws grant special privileges to certain groups. This charge was leveled at the black civil rights movement and the women's movement, and now lesbian/gay rights advocates in turn are accused of seeking special privileges. The grain of truth in this charge is that the enactment of a civil rights law recognizes that some group has been selected by social prejudice for special disadvantages. The pattern of disadvantage signals to the government the need for scrutiny of instances of denial of employment or housing, or other types of disadvantage that may result from discrimination. This can hardly be called a special privilege for it assures only the ordinary benefits a person would receive were it not for discrimination. For those with a history in the black civil rights movement or the women's movement, the charge of "special privilege" is a familiar tune. The church, with its strong connections to both these movements, may be one of the institutions best equipped to remind the public that this charge has been heard and disproved before. Should a church choose to become involved in a local effort for protection of the rights of gay men and lesbians, a number of important steps should be taken to assure an effective witness. First, the local and state laws regarding the rights of lesbians and gay men need to be determined. Although a local attorney or American Civil Liberties Union chapter may be able to provide this information, it can be helpful to go directly to a city councilor state legislature. This method not only gets the needed information; it also signals political leaders that there is concern about an issue. This search for information may well reveal that the laws of a state do prohibit any sexual activity between persons of the same sex, that a state or city does forbid bars from serving homosexuals, and that there is no protection of basic rights. Or it may reveal that there are limited basic protections, perhaps a governor's or mayor's order prohibiting discrimination in public employment but no protection in private employment. As in the earlier movements for civil rights, it is important to work in coalition in efforts advancing lesbian/gay civil rights. Partly, this is a practical need for assembling enough political strength to move the government to act, but it is also an expression of the church's role in empowering communities to seek their own interests. Contacting one of the national lesbian/ gay civil rights organizations (see RESOURCES) is a (continued on next page) United Methodist Policy on Civil Rights of Lesbians/Gay Men The Social Principles of the United Methodist Church (UMC) as presented in 1972 contained the following sentence in the section on Human Sexuality: "Further we insist that all persons are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured." When this section was adopted at the 1972 General Conference another phrase was added: "though we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching." ( Paragraph: 7lF The Book of Discipline 1984) A resolution entitled "Civil and Human Rights f Homos ual Per ons" was pr sented to the 1980 General Confer n e by th General Board of Church and Society (GBCS) and the G neral Commission on the Status and Role of Women. The resolution called for congressional legislation and an ex cutive order banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, equal treatment of homo exual parents in child custody cases, and prot ctions for lesbian/gay youth. The final sentence proved to be the most controversial: "The United Methodist Church calls upon its ag ncies, boards, commissions, and educational institution at all levels to insure human and civil rights of all persons, including employees. regardless of sexual orien ta tion." This last sentence was claimed to spouse "church employment at all levels, what ver the sexual orientation of the person" and raised the concern that it was supporting the ordination of lesbians and gay men. The r solution was rejected by a vote of 507-405. At the 1984 General Conference, the G BCS proposed a new "Rights of Homosexual Persons" paragraph in the Social Principles in the section addressing the rights of racial and ethnic minorities, religious minorities, children, youth and young adult , the aging, women, and persons with handicapping conditions. The proposed paragraph recognized the "invisibility" of homosexual persons due to threats of discrimination and called on churches to develop ministries "sensitive to and re pectful of the ne ds of these person and their families." During a long debate over this proposed r solution on the floor. contention was around the sentence: "We hold that persons should not be discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation, and we call for the creation and effective enforcement of legal sanctions against such discrimination." Opponents of the proposition brought forth amendments that would have stat d clearly th UMC's intent to discriminate in ordination and hiring of programmatic personnel. Concern was raised that the sentence as initially proposed would open the UMC to legal suits from les ian or gay ordained lergy who were denied employment. All attempts to amend the proposition were defeated. Despite several delegat s· attempt to reassure the conferenc that the proposed statement would in no way have made the UMC liable to a I gal suit, the entire paragraph was also rejected. The only nati nal UMC agency which has a policy of nondiscrimination based on exualori ntation in its hiring policy is the Gen ral Commission on the Status and Role of Women. Malllla jor the ]oUl7ley / 17 Involving the Church (continued) good way to find local groups that are addressing these concerns. These groups can then identify the most critical needs for a change in a city or state, and in dialogue with them an appropriate strategy can be developed. Any church that becomes involved in advocacy of the rights of lesbians and gay men may well face some persecution. A common fo rm of this is the accusation that the pastor or key church leaders are gay or lesbian. The fact that such a statement is seen as harmful is evidence that "none of us is free until all of us are free," as the civil rights slogan declares. So long as the fearful elements of society can threaten harm to any person by the mere accusation of homosexuality, our society will not be free of the grip of homophobia. Part of the redemptive work of the church should be freeing people from this unreasoning fear, and a church that advocates lesbian/gay rights probably will find itself thrust into this role. This is an aspect of the ministry that may be strengthened by training and reflection by the members on their own visions of femininity and masculinity. Finally, a church should be prepared to minister as a healer to the whole community. Some gay men and lesbians, as the victims of social oppression, may need counseling, legal aid, or financial assistance. Other people who fear change may need to be comforted and given a vision of a new society in which all of God's children are accepted as they have been created. Powerful people may need to be confronted and then offered a new chance for more responsible leadership. In any church program advancing lesbian/gay rights, the most effective advocates probably will be those who can sense the needs of many people for new understanding, or courage to act on their own knowledge, or patience to accept those whose views are different, and who can seek to meet those needs in a way that moves the whole community toward mutual respect and acceptance. Wheres domy statutes stan Sodomy laws under challenge Sodomy laws on the books; no challenge in process _ Map reprinted by permission of The Washington Blade. 51 Cities Have "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" 5/74 5/76 7172 11/77 7171 7175 10/78 6/84 4/84 9/84 7177 9175 6/82 1/79 2/75 10/84 1/79 5173 7/81 8/80 3/83 3/81 5177 10/84 4184 6179 3/75 4175 2/84 7/80 4174 3/75 1178 12/83 8174 8/82 12/74 4176 12/83 12/83 7184 7178 8175 8175 10175 1179 1177 4179 11173 11/84 7175 Lesbian/Gay Rights Law Fifty-one cities in 18 states and the District of Columbia have adopted laws which provide civil rights protections for lesbians and gay men. Here's a look at what those ordinances cover and month and year enacted: A Credit E - Public B Housing accomodations C Education F Real estate D Employment G Unions City ABC D E F G Date Alfred, N.Y. Amherst, Mass Ann Arbor, Mich. Aspen, Colo. Atlanta Austin, Texas Berkeley, Calif. Boston Buffalo, N.Y. Cambridge, Mass. Champaign, III. Chapel Hill, N.C. Chicago Columbus, Ohio Cupertino, Calif. Dayton, Ohio Detroit, Mich. East Lansing, Mich. Eugene, Ore. * Evanston, III. Harrisburg, Pa. Honolulu Iowa City, Iowa Ithaca, N.Y. Laguna Beach, Calif. Los Angeles Madison, Wis. Marshall, Minn. Maulden, Mass. Milwaukee Minneapolis Mountain View, Calif. New York Oakland, Calif. Palo Alto, Calif. Philadelphia Portland, Ore. Pullman, Wash. Rochester, N.Y. Sacramento, Calif. Saginaw, Mich. San Francisco Santa Barbara, Calif. Santa Cruz, Calif. Seattle Troy, N.Y. Tucson, Ariz. Urbana, III. Washington, D.C. W. Hollywood, Calif. Yellow Springs, Ohio • Law protects against intimidation on basis of sexual orientation. Source: National Gay Task Force; American Civil Liberties Union. Copyright. 1985 USA TODAY. Reprinted with permission. 18 / Mal/I/ajar rheJOlll71ey ~ IN Rt\ISE OFWS[x)M Litany L: I was taught by her whose skill made all things, wisdom. R: For in wisdom there is a spirit intelligent and holy, unique in its kind yet made up ofmany parts, L: Subtle, free-moving, lucid, spotless, clear, invulnerable, loving what is good, R: Eager, unhindered, beneficent, kindly towards men and women, L: Steadfast, unerring, untouched by care, R: All-poweiful, all-surveying, and permeating all intelligent, pure, and delicate spirits. L: For wisdom moves more easily than motion itself, R: She pervades and permeates all things because she is so pure. L: She is but one, yet can do everything; R: Herself unchanging, she makes all things new; L: Age after age she enters into holy souls, and makes them God's friends and prophets, R: For nothing is acceptable to God but the one who makes a home with wisdom. L: She is more radiant than the sun, and surpasses every constellation; R: Compared with the light of day, she isfound to excel; L: For day gives place to night, but against wisdom no evil can prevail. R: She spans the world in powerfrom end to end, and orders all things benignly. (Wisdom of Solomon 7:22-24, 27-8: 1 NEB) Prayer o Wisdom, beloved One, why are you so far from us? Our world suffers from your absence. No one seeks to be faithful to you, No one searches for you. We, your children, are rejected because people are so quick to believe false images, or so bound to seeing what they want to see, they can't face the truths in front of their eyes. You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free, it has been said. What is the truth about ourselves? Is it not you who have made us? Are we not, each one of us, your handiwork? We look around at the beautiful creation, so filled with diversity and complexity. Yet everything has a place and a purpose. You have made all things to work together for good. The tree's breathing creates the air we need to breathe. The fish find their way to their spawning grounds by the rhythms of the currents in their home streams. The wind sets free the thistle down and sows the seed. Is there anything in all creation that is not fitting? And we ourselves, each one of us, in our uniqueness, and diversity, and complexity, are not we, each one of us, a part of the whole and valuable as we are? o Wisdom, come to us! Teach us to see the goodness of ourselves. Teach the prejudiced to see the truth of human worth. Infuse the obstinant with your mobility. Give the human family open minds, open hearts, eyes of wonder, and a will attuned to the good. Amen. I'vIallllajor rhelOl/mel' / 19 Iby Steven Earl Webster t is no fluke that Wisconsin is roots organizing on the university's Steven Earl Webster is a native Wisconsinite the first and only state to legiscampus at about the same time as and a graduate of the University of WisconsinMadisoll. He serves as lay speaker, church hislate freedom from discriminathe Stonewall Riots of 1969. Though torian, and lay member of the annual conferthose riots occurred in New York tion based on sexual orientation. ence at University UM. Church. Webster was City, the defiance of social, governThis unique political victory was present at the founding meeting ofAffinnation the result of a combination of facmental, and police oppression of 10 years ago and was recently elected president homosexual persons that the riots tors. Among these are Wisconsin's ofthe Wesley Foundation of Wisconsin-Madison. independent and progressive tradirepresented struck a responsive chord throughout the nation. Fresh tion, years ofgrass-roots organizing by the state's lesbians and gay men, in the minds of many in Madison's lesbian/gay community at that time persistent and professional legisla" free" states. In 1853 the Wisconsin was an antihomosexual witch-hunt tive leadership, and broad support Annual Conference of the Methodconducted by university police from the state's major Christian ist Episcopal Church voted to against students and faculty in the denominations and their leaders. absolve its members of any moral mid-1960s. Such memories here Although much ofthe story leading obligation to obey that law. In 1854 and elsewhere combated comup to Wisconsin's action lies in the a Milwaukee mob freed a fugitive placency and fueled the struggle for state's own history, the state's exslave arrested by federal marshals justice. perience still should provide useful and sent him on his way to Canada Lesbian and gay organizing insights for civil rights struggles and freedom. Wisconsin also played also began about the same time in elsewhere. a major role in the "Underground Wisconsin's one "big city," MilRailroad," transporting many slaves waukee. The spirit of Stonewall to Canada. spawned an abundance of organiWisconsin became a state in The independent, forward-lookzations there that have continued 1848. Though originally settled by ing spirit evident in these actions to the present Milwaukee's lesdour, Sabbath-observing Yankees later found expression in the foundbian/ gay community included many from the Northeast, Wisconsin ing of a major third-party moveRoman Catholics, whose influenquickly came to be dominated by ment at the beginning of the 20th tial Archbishop Rembert Weakland century-the Progressive Party. The Gennan and Scandinavian immiwas to playa key role in the passage Progressive movement in American grants seeking political freedom of Wisconsin's lesbian/gay rights politics coincided with the protest and economic opportunity. Varylegislation. against conservative "social Daring notion of "Sabbath obserMadison soon joined the ranks. winism," the demand for demovance" divided the descendants of of those municipalities whose hucratic political refonns, the rise of the Puritans from the more funman rights ordinances were broadlabor, the women's suffrage moveloving Gennans. "Personal liberty" ened to prohibit discrimination ment, and the preaching of the was the rallying cry ofthe Germans based on sexual orientation. This "social gospel" by Protestant theoas they re isted existing laws manoccurred during the 1970s at a time logians and churches. According to dating a dull, no-beer-drinking when Madison's large student popMadison, Wisconsin, historian Sunday. Like today's lesbians and ulation was beginning to flex its David Mollenhoff, "No state was gay men, the Gennans objected to muscle in local electoral politics. It more often or more flatteringly legal intru ion into their private was largely through the efforts of associated with the new progressive lives in the name of narrow relilesbian and gay law students, tomovement than Wisconsin:' To gious views. gether with grass-roots support, this day, politicians of all perWisconsin's Yankee and Gerthat the local ordinance passed. suasions appeal with pride to Wisman settlers were united, however, consin's progressive tradition. by another issue ofhuman freedomAlso in the early 1970s, WisWisconsin's capital city, Madithe abolition of slavery. In 1850 the consin churches-including son, and the University of Wisconfederal government passed the sin, located there, have often been the Wisconsin Annual Conference Fugitive Slave Act, pennitting slave the center of progressive activity of the United Methodist Churchowners to enlist the aid of federal marshals to arrest and return runconcerning a wide variety of issues. began to debate the highly exploaway slaves from the Northern Lesbians and gay men began grasssive issue of lesbians and gay men 20 / Manna for fhe JOW71ey his work on the controversial U.S. in church and society. By action of son lesbian/gay community was bishop's pastoral letter on the econthe Wisconsin Conference in 1974, immediate. Likewise, liberal and omy) and Lutheran Bishop A.C. Bishop Jesse DeWitt appointed a moderate local clergy quickly spoke Schumacher-as well as United committee that both studied the out against the homophobic camMethodist Bishop Marjorie Matissue and promoted statewide dispaign. A series ofwidely publicized thews. cussion in the churches. Those disand well-attended dialogues were cussions always included issues Clarenbach also tapped into the held between Madison clergy and relating to the legal oppression of representatives of the Madison grass roots lesbian and gay movelesbians and gay men and to widement, addressing mass rallies, atlesbian/ gay community. The diaspread discriminatory practices. logues built up a lasting spirit of tending community functions, and "The human and civil rights" oflesencouraging lesbians and gay men mutual respect between the churches bians and gay men had already and the lesbian/gay community in to urge family and friends throughbeen affirmed by the denominaMadison. The Bryant movement out the state to communicate to tion's Social Principles in 1972, was effectively stopped in Madison, their legislators their support of the though those same principles also and the lesbian/gay community rights bill. Clarenbach's persistent declared homosexual practices to emerged better organized, more effort paid off in February 1982, be "incompatible with Christian respected, and stronger than before. when his bill passed both houses of teaching." the legislature and was sent to the Significantly, this official United governor's office. At the same time as these develMethodist position remains similar opments in church and society, to the official positions of other gay men and lesbians also increased mainline Protestant churches and their influence in local electoral " Christian" radio stations in the Roman Catholic Church. And, Madison and Milwaukee politics. I personally participated in eventually, this position served to mounted an 11th-hour campaign to a voter registration drive in a unite Wisconsin Roman Catholics, encourage listeners to call RepubMadison gay bar in the early 1970s Lutherans, Episcopalians, United lican Governor Lee Dreyfus's office and remember the interest of local Church of Christ members, United to urge his veto of the bill. Again, politicians in the ""gay vote." DurMethodist, Presbyterians, Unitarthere was an immediate grass-roots ing this period, David Clarenbach, ians, and Baptists in public support response from lesbians, gay men, a young man not yet 20 years old, of legislation protecting the human and their friends. WORT, a comwas elected by a Madison district to rights of lesbians and gay men. munity-based, listener-sponsored sit in the State Assembly. Shortly Despite this pro-rights consenradio station in Madison, reported after he assumed office, Clarensus developing among mainline the call-in campaign and urged its bach, now speaker pro temp, began Christians, the late 1970s saw Anita listeners to do some calling on the an eight-year legislative campaign Bryant become a prominent spokesother side. For the next few days, that resulted in Wisconsin's properson for the "Christian" position the governor's phone lines and staff hi ition of discrimination based on that homosexual persons should be were completely tied up, with calls sexual orientation in housing, emdenied the same human and civil from throughout the state equally ployment, or public accomrights accorded other persons. Brydivided for and against the bill. modations. Clarenbach identified ant's successful and viciou camNews reports indicated that the early the churches of Wisconsin as paign to repeal human rights progovernor moved up the date of potential allies. He solicited their tections in Dade County, Florida, signing to free hi phones and staff support in the form of letters from became a national trend. Other to resume ordinary business. bishops and other official spokesmunicipalities repealed similar At the signing ceremony, Govpersons who understood Christian local ordinances. Incidents of ernor Dreyfus spoke of the "funteaching as supporting the human homophobic violence increased. damental Republican principle that rights ofhomosexual persons. Most In Madison, a controversial government should have a very reprominent among these official Baptist pastor led a Bryant-style stricted involvement in people's spokespersons were the leaders of campaign against Madison's orthe state's two largest religious private and personal lives." The dinance. The grass-roots and orgovernor acknowledged the presgroups- Roman Catholic Arch( continued on next page) ganizational response of the Madibishop Weakland (now known for Mal/I/a for [he JOUl7ley /21 Justice in Wisconsin (continued) sure from Fundamentalists to veto bigotry can be tolerated." What 1 ssons here can be apCan a way be found to hold churches accountable for the bill, but he also cited the "supplied el ewhere, so that Wisconsin Christian teachings on human and port of a wide-ranging group of does not remain unique as the civil right? Can activists be held religious leaders, including the "Gay Rights State"? One lesson accountable to act in behalf of lesleadership of the Roman Catholic may be that lesbians and gay men bians and gay men'? Can conserChurch, several Lutheran synods, not write off too quickly the vatives be held accountable to and the Jewish community:' Dechurches, political partie, and conserve human rights for all perscribing the governor's action, Clargovernment as potential sources of sons? Can lesbians and gay men enbach said, "The issue which he support. Another lesson is the reach out to nonlesbian, nongay has d cided . . . is not whether importance of the grass roots to the friends to stand and vote together? homosexuality itself is admirable, "leaders" in successful efforts for Wisconsin shows that the answer to but whether discrimination and chang. all these questi ns is "ye ." Throughout its history, the oped over the last few years was church has been about the William Oliver is an United Church of Christ pastor in Beaumont, Texas. He was the camnow being put to the test. Officetask of defining and redefinpaign director for Citizens for a United holders whom they had supported Houston. ing its mission and ministry in the were being required to publicly world so that it might be faithful to take positions. God.One ofthe more common defThe gay/lesbian community had exercised its political muscle initions has been the church's call responded to this task by organizing by supporting several successful to continue the essential ministry of an ad hoc coordinating committee candidates for office. Among those Jesus Christ. As recorded in Luke's that was as broadly representative candidates was Mayor Kathy Whitgospel, Jesus reflected this call by of the gay and lesbian organizamire. The council's affirmative, but reading from Isaiah 61: tions as possible and at the same divided, vote had followed heated The Spirit ofthe Sovereign God is time small enough to function. The debate and public outcry by the Ku upon me,for God has anointed me committee named itself Citizens Klux Klan and other rightist groups. to preach good news to the poor. for a United Houston (CUH). Gay/ Soon after the council's action, the God has sent me to proclaim relesbian activists in the community opposition began to close ranks lease to the captives and recovering ofsight to the blind, to set at liberty quickly called on their own politiand organized a petition drive to cal expertise, national political rerepeal the ordinance. They chose to those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year ofGod's favor. sources, local political operatives, Since its beginning, when the make the issue a vote on "gay and professional campaign conchurch has faced serious moral derights," "gay lifestyles," and "the sultants to advise them in preparcisions about its role in the political fear of AIDS." ing a campaign. arena and acted with courage, it To understand what Houston's churches actually did in this conhas often affirmed this prophetic troversy, it is helpful to note what role as defender of the powerless. Decisions were made early to Such a situation was faced by was occurring within the city's gay/ remain low key in terms of the churches in Houston, Texas, in lesbian community and among the public exposure, leave the current 1984, when the city council adopted so-called hate groups. officeholders in the background, an ordinance prohibiting job disThe gay/lesbian community in and reduce the level of discoursecrimination in city employment Houston is not monolithic and, at least during the fall of 1984. based on sexual preference. Counthough sizable, is often fractious to (National general elections were cilman Anthony Hall had introthe point of being at war with itself. that November.) duced the ordinance following the The threat of losing this referenThese decisions had both posiencouragement of the city's gay/ dum provided a crisis moment for tive and negative results. The oppolesbian community, which earlier the community. All the political clout that had been carefully develsition was forced into a more 22/Manna for the }ow71ey difficult position because it had have had to be cautious in their munity was not able to capture the only a vague enemy to organize imagination of the national gay/ behavior. against and could not call upon the lesbian community in a manner CUH made efforts to force the dollar resources that were then similar to the way it was done in leadership of the religious comgoing into Republican campaigns. Miami. It is difficult for a group munity to respond faithfully to It allowed the gay/lesbian comthat is so new to the political arena their commitments. The success in munity to solidify and mobilize this effort was limited to the public to understand that what happens in itself without the constant exposure one major city may indeed seriously statements of leaders rather than in of the public eye. But public excitesignificant assistance in the actual affect everyone. ment serves an essential role in organizing of their constituencies. The bishop of the United Methhelping organize political efforts, Despite the shortage of dollars, and, largely because of the low-key odist Church, the Presbytery executhe best available poll data approach, the campaign suffered tive, the association minister of the indicated that the campaign was on Disciples of Christ, the Episcopal from apathy and lethargy. target. The unanswered question in CUH hired me as a political bishop, and a few others conferred this data was the matter of who with each other and issued a joint consultant and campaign manager. would actually show up to vote. The They thought that my experience in statement that was indeed suppordata seemed to indicate that there many victorious campaigns with tive. This bold and courageous were sufficient votes to win if this some of their allies, my credentials action opened them to criticism. It referendum had been on the ballot was clear, In many cases, that as a Protestant clergyman, and my of a regular city election. public sentiment even within their situation as a married heterosexual Voters favorable to the City own ranks did not support either would be valuable assets. Council's action were not as highly the denominational policies or the In the fall of 1984, we achieved motivated as were those who strongcouncil's action. all our primary campaign objecly opposed the ordinance. If the Church leaders were further tives with the serious exception of persons who saw the issue as a "jusraising the anticipated dollars. frustrated in their efforts by the fact tice" issue had been going to the Though we had shaped our objecthat they were in no position to polls to vote anyway, they would tives to keep the costs of running control the necessary campaign have voted with us, but they were our campaign as low as possible, supporting the ordinance nor to not moved to make the effort to even the remaining expenses could manage the issues as they develvote when this was the only issue not be met. Therefore, from the very oped. The campaign committees on the ballot. This was not the case beginning the effort was underon both sides essentially functioned with the opposition. The low turnfunded. from their respective positions on out of supportive persons may have The lack of available dollars gay/lesbian concerns without much been partly the fault of weak adverwas due to several factors: consideration for where the church tising, but more likely it was the or the vast majority of citizens 1) The gay/lesbian community result ofour human frailty in acting had not developed a strong workcame down on the issues. on what we know is right. That kind of circumstance is ing relationship with the structures Church leadership felt caught not unique for the church. The within the religious communityin a special bind. For the most part, church must often act on issues the churches, the clergy organizanational church bodies had made that it would rather either avoid or, tions, the church social-action pronouncements opposing disagencies, or the heavy contributors at least, control the circumstances crimination in employment because under which it acts. Here was a case within those groups. of sexual preference. Now local 2) The gay/lesbian community where persons were clearly captives leadership had the task of acting in of oppressive attitudes and policies had no tested mechanism for raissome manner with regard to those ing the kind of dollars necessary, and where there was a real opporstated positions. The Jewish comtunity to set at liberty those who nor did it have a clear perception of munity moved first and with the the real cost in running a city-wide suffer. clearest statements. This was uncampaign. Its experiences at fund derstandable because the experience raising had been on a much smaller We in the church ought to of job discrimination was so fresh examine our role in events scale. in their corporate memory. The 3) The politicians. that were like the referendum in Houston. black church community, however, supportive of their efforts were very was not so supportive, largely beUnless we learn from our failures reluctant to share their financial and weaknesses we will continue to cause of the sizable number of funresource people. They chose to damentalist churches. In general, be less than faithful to our calling. guard those persons as their private We can ill afford to leave people the black clergy with the most polireserve. This was especially true for tical clout are from that tradition. powerless and without self-deterthe mayor, even though she stood Mainline black Protestant clergy mination. We can never be faithful the most to lose by failure in this have less recent history of political until we learn to use the tools and campaign. activism; they have had to survive resources God has given us as the 4) The local lesbian/gay comin largely white denominations and Body of Christ. MallIIa for the fowlIey /23 ,~ In order to facilitate further study ofthe issues of lesbian/gay civil rights and how you or your local church can be involved in these issues, we present some resources for your use. Organizations The following organizations are all national organizations working on lesbian/gay civil rights. The appropriate local organizations are too numerous to list. For more infonnation on lesbian/ gay civil rights laws and initiatives in a specific area you can contact one ofthese national organizations, a local chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, or the local bar association. Federation of AIDS-Related Organizations 729 8th Street, S.E. #200 Washington, DC 20003 202/547-3101 An association of the city and state AIDS groups which work together to lobby Congress and the administration on AIDS funding, research, and public health policies dealing with persons with AIDS. Human Rights Campaign Fund P.O. Box 1396 Washington, DC 20013 202/546-2025 A political action committee (PAC) which distributes funds to political candidates on the basis of their support or potential support for lesbian/gay civil rights legislation. HCRF has recentlyjnstituted the "AIDS Campaign Trust" to give political contributions to candidates who support AIDS research and funding. Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund 132 W. 43rd Street New York, NY 10036 212/944-9488 A nonprofit organization which pursues litigation to counter discrimination against lesbians and gay men, as well as educational programs to raise public awareness of lesbian/gay legal concerns. Lesbian Rights Task Force National Organization of Women 425 13th Street, N.W. Washington, DC 20004 202/347-2279 A project of NOW which has provided education, community organizing, and advocacy of legal rights of lesbians. The task force is currently inactive awaiting hiring of new staff persons. National Gay Rights Adl'ocates 540 Castro Street San Francisco, CA 94114 415/863-3624 Similar to the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, NGRA provides legal assistance and support to lesbians and gay men involved in civil rights litigation. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force 80 Fifth Avenue New York, NY 10011 212/741-5800 or 2335 18th Street, N.W. Washington, DC 20009 202/332-6483 Chiefly a lobbying and educational organization for lesbian/gay civil rights. Has 6500 members nationwide. Recently has engaged in a special project to illuminate lesbian/gay concerns through the media and a project on violence toward lesbians and gay men (see article in this issue). Books The books listed below are a sampling of recent writings which address issues of lesbian/gay civil rights. They represent the wide range of issues involved. A brief synopsis is given for each. Buchanan, G. Sidney. Morality, Sex, and the Constitution: A Christian Perspectil'e on the Power of GOl'ernment to Regulate Private Sexual Conduct between Consenting Adults. Lanham, MD: University Press of America, Inc., 1985. Somewhat technical legal writing by an Episcopalian layman. Blends support for right to privacy between consenting adults with upholding the moral value of heterosexual marriage and family. . Curry, Hayden and Clifford, Denis. Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley. 1980. A guidebook to negotiating matters of practical living which confront lesbian/gay couples; topics include buying and selling property, wills, powers of attorney. Hitchens, Donna J. and Thomas, Ann G. Lesbian Mothers: An Annotated Bibliography of Legal and Psychological Materials. 2nd ed. San Francisco: Lesbian Rights Project, January 1983. The title says it aiL The address for ordering a copy is: 1370 Mission Street, 4th floor, San Francisco, CA 94103. Knutson, Donald, ed. Homosexuality and the Law. New York: The Haworth Press, Inc., 1980. A double issue of the Journal of Homosexuality 5 (Fall-Winter 1979/80). Topics include constitutional right to privacy, employment discrimination laws, the rights of homosexual aliens, and a review of legal developments in the lesbian/gay rights movement. Marotta, Toby. The Politics of Homosexuality. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1981. A historical review and political analysis of the development of the lesbian/gay liberation movement in New York City in the 1970s. Norwick, Kenneth P., ed. Lobby for Freedom in the 1980's. New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons; Perigee Books, 1983. A practical guide to influencing local/state governments. One chapter is on gay rights. Appendix has many sample materials for a local campaign. Shilts, Randy. The Mayor of Castro Street. New York: St Martin's Press, 1982. A biography of gay activist and San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk and also a review of the recent lesbian/gay political movement Stoddard, Thomas B.; Boggan, E. Carrington; Haft, Marilyn G.; Lister, Charles; and Rupp, John P. The Rights of Gay People. New York: Bantam Books, 1983. Published by the ACLU, this is a concise authoritative guide to securing and/or protecting the legal rights of lesbians and gay men. Appendices include texts of many statutes and a bibliography. The Gay Writers Group. It Could Happen to You: An Account of the Gay Rights Campaign in Eugene, Oregon. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1983. The May 1978 struggle was lost, but much was learned along the way. Helpful for communities where ordinances are being proposed. 24 / Maflfla jar the ]ow71ey Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 3 https://exhibits.lgbtran.org/files/original/41563c386658dc06362f86c1731b3923.pdf 127ba69c6f91b987aedf999ac563c349 Issue An issue of a recurring publication. Volume Number The volume number of the issue 1 Issue Number The number of the issue (within a volume) 4 Publication Year The year the issue was published 1986 Publication Date The date the issue was published Spring Text Any textual data included in the document VOL. 1, NO.4 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 SPRING 1986 INSIDE THIS ISSUE: The Family of God .... .................. .. 3 by Ben Roe Counseling with Gay and Lesbian Couples .... . . ....... .... ........... ..... . . 13 by Dorothy Gager Scenes from a Journey .. . . . 6 by Frank Smith fV The Reconciling Congregation Program is a VOL. 1, NO.4 0 JOURNAL OF THE RECONCILING CONGREGATION PROGRAM 0 SPRING 1986 network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations fi nd strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congregations strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community. To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Manna for the Journey. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation. Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program P.O. Box 24213 Nashville, TN 37202 Manna for the Journey is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church. Contributing to This Issue Mark Bowman Ben Roe Judy Cayot Martha Rutland-Mary Gaddis Wallis Dorothy Gager Bradley Rymph Jeanne Knepper Elizabeth Smith Alice Knotts Frank Smith Fred Methered Mike Underhill Julie Morrissey Graphic artist: Beth Richardson Brenda Roth Manna for the Journey is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to: Manna for the Journey P.O. Box 23636 Washington, D.C. 20026 Copyright 1986 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian and Gay Concerns. Contents The wordfamily originates from a Sanskrit word meaning household. Family means all the people living in the same household. As a family of God, we are a multicolored, multigifted, unique collection of households. Each of us are children of God, which makes us a part of that larger unit: the household of God. Our families are diverse. We are families with gay, lesbial), and bisexual children. We are families with gay or lesbian parents. We are families of gay or lesbian lovers or partners. We are families of single adults living together. We are single parents and parents living apart from our children. We are married and divorced and single and young and old. We celebrate, in this issue of Manna/or the Journey, the diversity of our families, and thus the family of God. Ben Roe opens with a theological reflection on "The Family 0/God" (p. 3~. Three articles reflect on the experience of coming out in a family situation. In "Scenes on a Journey" (p .. 6), Frank Smith shares his learning and growth as the father of a lesbian. Elizabeth Smith responds t9 his story in a "Letter to Dad" (p. 8). Fred Methered's "Out-At Last" (p. 15) reflects upon his coming out in the later years of his life. Judy Cayot and Mike Underhill write about their personal experiences as lesbian and gay parents. "Joys and Frustrations 0/a Lesbian Parent" (p. 9), by Cayot, tells of her family's transition to a new lifestyle, their journey together to be a family that is nonhomophobic and open. Underhill deals with the cultural tensions of being a gay father in "Nurturing Children: A Gay Father's Perspective" (p. 11). "Counseling with Gay and Lesbian Couples " (p. 13) by Dorothy Gager, reflects on the similarities and differences in therapy with gay and lesbian clients. Martha Rutland-Wallis presents an overview of the local church's "Opportunities/or Ministry" to the special families that include gay men, lesbians, and bisexual persons (p. 17). Also in this issue is a short bibliography of books helpful for ministry with families in RESOURCES (p. 24). In SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 19), Jeanne Knepper and Alice Knotts offer a liturgical reflection on Pentecost for a family setting. (Both are Ph.D. students in religion and social change at Iliff School of Theology and the University of Denver, where Knepper is currently chairperson of the Iliff Community Senate and Knotts is a national vice-president of the Methodist Federation for Social Action from the Rocky Mountain chapters. They are both parents, each with a 12-year-old daughter.) The RCP REPORT brings us up to date on the activities of the Reconciling Congregation Program, as well as current events in gay and lesbian issues in the church (p. 21). May this issue on "Our Families" open doors for the nurture and care of our diverse households. Peace to you in this season. ISSN 0884-8327 2/Mal/flO for the Jow7Iey when homosexuality becomes by Ben Roe strengthened, knowledge expanded, known. The truth of who a gay or lesbian person is can clash severely with favored notions about sex. uality, morality, and spirituality. Sometimes the notions win, and the gay, lesbian, or bisexual son or daughter must find family elsewhere. As one of my friends puts it, what could have been family becomes only relatives. So lesbian and gay people often have to take a hard look at what "family" means. . Non-gay/lesbian family members also face painful difficulties. The social stigma faced by lesbian/ gay folk is also shared to a degree. When gay persons come out to family, many families go into the closet, often having no one to share their struggle with, feeling the same isolation theiilesbian/gay ,family member felt. Often a family's reaction follows the traditional grief process. After all, there is usually a sense of loss: of an image, expectation, interpretation, dream, hope. Different and adjustments made so that each families react differently, some Ben Roe is a United Methodist minister. pasfamily member comes out a true more intensely than others. Denial, toral counselor, educator, and executive director winner. There is a closeness, openas the first stage of grief, can last ofMinistry in Human Sexuality, a counseling, ness, and honest caring that facilyears, even after disclosure occurs: education, and advocacy agency in Lincoln, itates growth in everyone. "Family," "Oh no! You can't be gay!" Shock is Nebraska. then ideally means a high quality common: "We've lost our child." of interpersonal relationships. INumbness and confusion are n my work as a pastoral counThis kind of "Walton's Mounnormal. selor, I see over and over the tain" or "Cosby Show" family is Bargaining is another common importance of the family in rare, I suspect, and most of us have reaction or stage: "Is our child our lives. at least some "unfinished business" (brother/sister) really gay?" "You It is in the close quarters and relating to some aspect of our own need a psychiatrist to change you." close daily contacts of the family in family of origin. Bribery and threats are sometimes which we grow up that we learn The contrast between the ideal used to try to bargain away the how to live and relate with other reality. people. It is there that we learn how and the reality ofa given family can be extremely painful. Alcoholism Anger is also common as part of to look at the world, how to comand other chemical dependency; this process: "If you loved us, municate, and what to expect from physical, emotional, and sexual you'd ..." "You're only doing this to life and other people. abuse; and mental illness all have hurt us." Families can be the kind of dynamics that make the reality of a Sadness or depression may model human community that given family's life particularly painneed to be moved through, as well. generates emotional and spiritual ful. Instead of preparing each A family member can feel the sadhealth. Such families are loving, member for more full and effective ness of the losses. Perhaps there optimistic, and warm. They have participation in life, a family may will be sharing of the painful that "just right" balance of hucompromise growth potentials, unrealities that can go with being gay manness-not too perfect, but "good dermine and sap coping resources, or lesbian. Perhaps there will be enough." They are perfectly human, or fail to facilitate their developdifficulties with other family modeling forgiveness, grace, and ment altogether. members. flexibility when mistakes are made, The pain of real-life family exFortunately, in many or most and showing commitment to strugperience is often accentuated with cases, there eventually is a growing gling through differences to resoluthe issue of homosexuality. Ifopensense of acceptance: "Yes, my son/ tion. These are the families where ness and honesty were present brother is gay," or "My daughter/ each challenge is met, coping skills before, they may simply disappear (continued on next page) Manna for the Jowney / 3 will is desired and done. The Family' of God (continued) finally turning more intentionally sister is lesbian," maybe including In Galatians 4, Paul uses the to forms of worship, prayer, and image of adoption as sons and a sense of pride at the accommeditation. Finally, we find ourplishments in the face of some daughters of God in describing selves recognizing a sense of sonadversity. how the relationship with God ship or daughtership-co-creatorchanges for believers. I like to think ship. The biological, legal, and social of the change being one of invitaThere are many instances where tion, acknowledgement, and weldefinition of "family," howthe faithful in an established relicome: potentially all people can live gion either had difficulty accepting, ever,is not the,wholeistory.\There1is as sons and daughters ofthe Creator. or refused to accept, those outside a psychologicaJ and spiritual meaning of "family" that can be helpful. their definition, their particular The invitation is constantly exunderstanding, of religion or famAnd, for Christian believers, there tended. The only thing needed to be welcome in God's family is for one ily. There were the outcasts who is an additional, profoundly rich to recognize God's parenthood and responded to Jesus: the tax collecmeaning to "family." one's sonship or daughtership. tor disciple, the Samaritan woman There is a vast difference beat the well, the leper who desired tween the idea of "family" as Over and over Paul's message is healing, the woman pouring expennuclear (father, mother, children that there is no way to win favor sive oil over Jesus' feet, and Zacliving together) and the family in with God: the only thing required is to allow the Spirit to "move in us" chaeus. Jesus didn't turn aside. He Hebrew culture. The family was a enabling us to respond to God's engaged each in the way that was central part of Hebrew culture, including many beyond blood relmost healing for each. The Bible love. atives: slaves, foreigners, hired serGod's initiative and our respeaks of those excluded in society vants. The family was so meaningsponse to God is the key to membeing included in God's family. bership in this family. ful that it was used as an image for God's love reaches out to include This family is not based on both the tribes and nations of Israel those exiled by their society. There and Judah and for Israel's covenant accomplishment, appearance, good are also numerous times God has grades, or "merit" of any kind. challenged us to expand our definicommunity with God. Jesus' use of the word "Father" God's family is based on acknowltion of faith. This inclusion ofthe "excluded" to refer to God implied a new closeedgement of God's being our loving creator, a creator who cares for us ness, "simplicity and directness of in family can have special meaning as a parent for a child, and God's for gay and lesbian folk. The rejecapproach to God"* and took the Jewish use of "Father" to a new being co-creator with those who retion they often experience is not spond. This family is characterized just of behavior, like a troublesome depth of relationship and intimacy. by a high quality of relationship. adolescence or difficulties with Jesus" use of I "my Father's This family begins with God's parents or job, but of a basic part of house" in Luke 2, for instance imlove always being there for usidentity- the way a person is. mediately deepened and expanded constant, urging, coaxing, inviting The resolution of problems the meaning of the family of God, us into a more open, active relaopen to non-gay/lesbian people is particularly in the context of the tionship. We experience momennot open to gay/lesbian people: yearly "family outing," the visit to tary self-affirmation and recognize once one's homosexual (or bisexthe temple. it as a gift of true grace, and we ual) orientation is disclosed, cerIn our times of greater concern might utter a little "Thank you, tain options of employment are for equality ofwomen and men, we God." Paul would say this is God's closed, no matter how hard one need to note that it is the depth, spirit moving us to call out "Abbaworks (such as ordained ministry intimacy, and closeness that is Father," or "Mother" or simply or teaching). One can never be important in the term "Father," not "God." integrated into what John Forthe gender of the term. Now, for tunato calls the "mythic system"some, "Mother" could also connote the idea that we are in control of This is the beginning of faith, this closeness. our own lives-that if we work For Jesus, the idea of the family when we are enabled to interhard, and do the right things, we pret our experience of self-affirmais not biological. Matthew 12:47-50 can be in charge, get more power, tion as a gift of grace. From there contains the story of Jesus gesturwe can be on an ascending spiral: more money, more rewards. ** ing to his disciples, saying, "These And so lesbians, gay men, and we wonder about where that grace are my mother and my brothers their families must go deeper in came from, we wonder if God was and sisters. Whoever does God's somehow involved, then we decide will is my brother, sister, and to look into it more or be open mother." And, in Luke 8:21, Jesus *The Interpreter's Dictionary of the Bible more. We might decide to pass on declares, "Those who hear the word (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1962), vol. 2, p. the grace in a small way. And our of God and act upon it are my 433. action helps confirm our beginning mother, sister, and brother." Family **John Fortunato, Embracing the Exile: Healfaith. We recognize God's involvebecomes based on a close relationing Journeys of Gay Christians (New York: ment in our lives in many ways, Seabury Press, 1982). ships with God, so close that God's 4 / Manna for the JOu/lIey faith, in claiming a place in the broadest family of all, the family of God. What would it look like for a church to be this kind of family? John Fortunato suggests: When you are sitting and looking into the face of the mystery, when you are overcome with awe and gratitude and joy for the overwhelming everythingness ofGod, and you feel like an empty vessel being filled to oveiflowing with love, the sexual preference of the person next to you is just nothing. It doesn't matter at all. What matters is that you are both there, looking, worshipping, and being loved by love. Anything else is a distraction. (p. 108) Translating that into our day-today experience as a Christian community, it would mean: • a sensitivity to a member having difficulty, without rushing either to judge or "fix" the problem; • listening actively, sensitively, and lovingly for the person to grow in their faith a bit more; • a deep level of acceptance of each member at his or her own particular point in the personal faith journey; • actively looking for the gifts and graces of each person and actively recognizing and appreciating them, not for what the person does or doesn't do, but for who the person is; • actively seeking to learn about the difference among people and how the Gospel can be spoken to them; • learning about the different stages of faith development, so that folks could be met where they are. In order for our churches to be more this kind of family, we might have to challenge some of the assumptions our culture hasabout the place of faith, religion, and spirituality and about the diversity of the gift of sexuality and its expression. But these things are already part of what ·is the best in our tradition, and things that express the best of our Christian spirit. - Homosexuality: A Family Issue "I'\is letter from the November 1984 issue ofengage/social action expresses well ~ the purpose for this issue ofManna for the Journey. The church has often failed in its ministry to families that have concerns related to homosexuality. What would it take to fill the void ofmissed opportunity for ministry? I liked your issue on the family very much, and am so thankful to see the "mainline" church taking the offensive and claiming a positive family ministry. I am as tired as anyone of the Religious Right claiming the exclusive use to the word "family." I especially appreciated the variety of concerns, including economics, day care, adult dependent care, etc. In an earlier issue, you reviewed the issue of homosexuality as it was raised at the General Conference. For a long time, I have believed that this issue might be looked atfirst andforemost by mainline churches as a family issue. This is the important point that Parents & Friends of Gays & Lesbians tries not to tire of making. The Religious Right always attempts to pit the cause of the rights of gays and lesbians over against the cause of family and unity and hannony. This is a very destructive strategy and, unfortunately, often a successful one. The ministry to the family vis-a-vis homosexuality seems particularly relevant to the sections of the General Conference statement on "Ministries Within Families and Between Family Members" and "Ministries to Families in Need." In the long laundry list of possible situations and problems, the family issues related to homosexuality are glaringly missing (I am not unaware ofjust why that might be). My parents are United Methodists. I wish that their local church, which they have loved and served for more than 30 years, could have been of real comfort and genuine help to them as they struggled through the truth of my gayness. But instead, it isolated them, increased their fears, and left them to fend for themselves on this issue. It has taken us nearly 10 years to repair our otherwise warm and secure relationship-and we had to do it without the help of the United Methodist Church. That is tragic. I am sure that in the church they belong to, there are dozens, even scores, of other parents of gays and lesbians who might have been able to really help each other mend and grow. What a tremendous loss for them and for the whole church. This is not even to mention the fact that gays and lesbians grow up and make families of our own-some fairly traditional, some not. Probably before we could ever even begin to be welcomed, the church needs to welcome hearing the needs of those parents and siblings who suffer in isolation. On a positive note, the church could learn tremendous things from folks like my parents. The story of how our family got torn up and healed in dealing with this issue is a miracle story, one of hope, reconciliation, love and courage. The church could learn how to embrace gays and lesbians by learning from families who have embraced their gay sons and daughters. That is an incredible resource right under our noses that we are not daring enough to use. I'm proud of both my families-the one who nurtured me as a child, and who stuck with me through transitions; and my new family, a relationship (seven years strong) with a woman and a world-wide Metropolitan Community Church family. It is my hope and prayer that the church will continue to struggle to be able to embrace the gifts of family experiences like mine and millions of other folks. The Rev. Nancy Wilson, Los Angeles, CA Reprinted by permission from engage/social action. November 1984. pp. 45-46. lV/alllla for the ' OUl71ey /5 · . Frank Smith is the pastor o/Grace United Methodist Church in Miami, Florida. We were stunned. My wife read the letter and then handed it to me without saying a word. Our daughter, Elizabeth, who was a student at New York University, had written a long letter explaining that she was a lesbian. We were shocked, hurt, confused, mortified. It was as though our personhood and character had been attacked, if not destroyed. She was our oldest child, bright and eager, had been interested in medicine since she was a child, and would be getting her B.S. in Nursing and her R.N. We loved her and were proud of her. And then that letter: We felt wiped out, not knowing which way to turn. Even so, something told me that we should call Elizabeth right then and assure her of our love. We did so, but the conversation was extremely awkward. The words were terribly halting. Nevertheless, I felt a little better afterwards. At least the lines of communication were open. Elizabeth came home soon after that, and the three of us spent an evening talking. The air was charged. Each of us was angry. It was as though she expected us to understand fully and completely accept her position right then and there! And her mother and I responded by saying all the wrong things. We wanted to know why she couldn't be "'normal." Where had we as parents gone wrong? And so on. She gave us books to read. I felt imposed upon. One of the books was Sappho Was a Right-On Woman. It was about lesbian bars and assignations there and about hard, tough women. The book turned my stomach, and it was all I could do to get through it. All the time though, I assured myself that surely this wasn't our Elizabeth! She must be testing us. She also gave us a brochure about an organization called Parents of Gays (POG). I read it and laid it aside. Months later, I read the leaflet again and decided to visit the group nearest me. By this time, my wife and I had separated (not because of . Elizabeth), and I had moved from our suburban home in New Jersey to an apartment in Manhattan. The New York Parents of Gays met on Sunday afternoon at Metropolitan Duane United Methodist Church in Greenwich Village. There were about 20 or 30 people there, mostly parents, including two or three gay men and a few sons and daughters. One father, a doctor, also there for the first time, was convinced that homosexuality was a psychological problem that could and should be cured. Others tried to help him accept his son's homosexuality as natural. I didn't agree with the doctor, but neither was I comfortable with the idea of homosexuality being perfectly natural. I went back to POG several times, once with Elizabeth. The meeting we attended together was just prior to the annual Gay Pride Parade in Manhattan. POG was going to march in the parade, and those who were willing to participate were asked to raise their hands. My hand did not go up. Before the week was over, though, I called Elizabeth and told her I had decided to march. I expected her to be elated, but she was very matter-of-fact and said perhaps she would see me there. When the parade was forming in the Village and we were getting ready to march up Fifth Avenue, along came Elizabeth and her lover Annie bounding up. They hugged and kissed me and joined the Parents' group. The three of us marched arm-in-arm up Fifth Avenue. In the Village, there were large crowds of young adults who applauded and cheered the Parents' group. Along the way, we gave out POG literature, and many of these young people were delighted to get a brochure to send to their parents. After that day, I participated in several other Gay Pride Parades in New York, though there never was another one quite as exhilarating as that first with Elizabeth and Annie. I have to be honest and admit though it was much easier for me to participate in Gay Pride Parades in the relative anonymity of New York City, where I served as a General Board of Global Ministries staff person, than it would be now as a pastor in Miami. About this time, another significant event happened. Joan Clark, a staff person in the Women's Division of the General Board, had made public statements about her lesbianism. Consequently, several members of the General Board were pushing for her dismissal from the staff. At a spring meeting 6 / Manna for the Journey by Frank Smith of the General Board, Clark's situation was debated, and it was voted that she be dismissed from her position. During the meeting, while the Women's Division was going through that difficult process, I met one of their directors (a good friend of mine) in the hall. She spoke of the ordeal they were experiencing, and I shared very briefly with her that I was experiencing some of that pain and growth myself. A few days later, back in my office, I received a phone call from a Women's Division staff person saying that they were going to hold two workshops on human sexuality in which homosexuality would be discussed. She further asked me to serve as a resource person. I was astounded! I replied that I had only recently begun what I was sure would be a long journey and that I had no wisdom or expertise to share. She persisted, however, and I reluctantly agreed. A few days later she called back and asked if I thought Elizabeth would be willing to participate. I was pleased-in fact, excited-when Elizabeth said she would. When Elizabeth and I arrived at the Catholic Retreat Center in the Bronx, where the first workshop was to be held, she said to me, "I feel like I'm going into a lion's den!" I said, "No, it won't be like that." And it wasn't. Our part on the program the next morning took place in a fish-bowl arrangement. Elizabeth and I, together with Affirmation leader Michael Collinsand Kim Porter, a good friend from Florida-were in the fish bowl. Women's Division staff and directors encircled us. Elizabeth spoke with emotion but clarity. I remember Elizabeth saying that she probably expected too much of her mother and me too quickly; and, since her parents were "so-called liberals," she thought that we could handle the fact that she was homosexual! I remember saying that, when her mother and I first received Elizabeth's news, we agreed that we mustn't tell Granny. Granny wouldn't be able to handle it. As if we were! I also struggled to remember a quotation from Shakespeare that my colleague, Beverly Chain, helped me to recall: Let me not to the m arriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alterations finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. (1l6th Sonnet) I did not want my love for Elizabeth to alter. The warmth and acceptance that Elizabeth and I received in that workshop were wonderful. Every once in a while now, nearly seven years later, I see someone who was at that workshop, and she will ask me, "How is Elizabeth?" At another time, I saw a notice that the Kirkridge Retreat Center in Pennsylvania was having a weekend session on "The Christian Faith and Homosexuality." I figured that this I would help me in my understanding of Elizabeth and in my relationship with her. So I went. The leadership was outstanding: feminist Episcopalian theologian Carter Hayward, Roman Catholic theologian John McNeill, feminist evangelical writer Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, and others. As it turned out, I was one of the very few "straight" persons there. It was basically a group of gay men and lesbians worshiping together and enjoying being together and the freedom of being themselves. In small groups, we each went around a circle briefly telling our stories. When it was my turn, J said that my daughter was a lesbian and that I wanted to relate to her with understanding and that was why I had come. The young woman leading the group jumped up and hugged me and said she wished so much that her father were open to her. Then she and I both wept. Idon't know how to analyze or evaluate these experiences. And I certainly don't know how to advise other parents of lesbians and gay men. I simply know that that I am grateful that we didn't allow the shock of learning that Elizabeth is a lesbian to come between us and separate us. Elizabeth is a sensitive, caring person whom I love and admire. I thank God daily that she is my daughter and friend. And I also thank God that, through Elizabeth, I have had the opportunity to shed the demeaning and debilitating baggage of homophobia. Manna for the Joumey /7 !-Dear Dad, The honesty and love you've expressed in the above account exemplifies what a special person you are. With several years' perspective, I am much more appreciative of those qualities in you than I was when I came out to you and Mom. About a year passed between the time I began confronting my own homosexuality and my initial discussion about it with you. That year became more and more awkward and painful because I felt like I was withholding an important part of myself from you. I was living a lie. I did not want to have such big secrets, and I could not imagine a lifetime of concealment. It became clear that I had no choice but to tell you. You had to know, for my peace of mind. I was extremely anxious about telling you I am a lesbian. At worst, it meant suffering your disapproval of me. At best, we would need to deal with the normal reactions of bewilderment, anger, guilt, and withdrawal. I felt responsible to make you understand, and that was a tall order! And yet, deep down, I knew what I had always known. You loved me, and nothing could change that. Values that you and Mom taught and lived included the willingness to love all kinds of people and the abhorrence of discrimination. Because of these values, I expected you to have little trouble accepting my lesbianism. Oh, I knew that there would be an initial "adjustment period," but I thought it would last minutes instead of months! Needless to say, my expectations were quite high. What I imagined would be an awkward but satisfying discussion turned into an unsatisfying child-parent battle. You didn't understand, and I had no patience. I forgot to consider that it had taken me time to come to terms with this myself, and you deserved at least as much time. Our talk didn't go as I had planned, but I still felt tremendously relieved when it was over. I had taken an important step. There were awkward moments over the next several months. I felt uncomfortable explaining my feelings to you, Dad. But I knew I was very lucky because you are the kind of person who wants to understand. I even resented, at times, that I needed to help "educate" you. I wanted you to magically understand and accept everything! The first Gay Pride Day Parade was a turning point. When you told me that you would be marching in the parade with Parents of Gays, I was matter-of-fact. Somehow, it seemed like a perfectly usual thing for a loving father to do. You had certainly marched for plenty of other good causes over the years! I also remember thinking that, if you marched, I would be obliged to march with you in appreciation. Being newly in love with Annie, and this being my first year in the parade, I was terribly excited-and not so sure if I wanted to share that excitement with you. (It pains me to make these admissions; I thought I was so mature.) I spent the evening before the march with some friends talking about the next day. Their reaction to your marching was what you had probably expected from me. They helped me begin to realize what a special day it would be. The day was truly extraordinary. Thousands of people gathered at the starting point, and Annie and I excitedly searched for Parents of Gays. It didn't take us long to spot you. Immediately I was filled with love, pride, and joy at our togetherness. As we marched up Fifth Avenue, no other organization in the parade was cheered and applauded as strongly. The crowds and television crews realized how special it was. It was exhilarating! Many gay men and lesbians thanked you and the other parents for marching and said they only wished their parents could do the same. I had always taken your love and acceptance for granted and that day helped me develop a much deeper appreciation for you. One of my most treasured possessions is a photograph that was taken that day of the three of us. In that picture, you are holding a sign that says, "We love our gay children." Today I am just a bit wiser and a great deal more aware. Most of all, I am thankful of how lucky I am to know this kind of love. Love, Elizabeth is a hospice "Ii Elizaheth Smith 1:re who h I( New York Cin, I! as lVet!ill OJ' Jor te" yeal'S, F~ stratlons of.a bian Pal1 nt by Judy Cayot Judy Cayot is the director ofa child-care program. She is a healer, a workerfor justice, and sometimes actress and singer. In the summer of 1981, after 10 years of marriage and 5 years as a single parent, I met and fell in love with _a woman who became my first female lover. At that time, my daughters were 12V2 and 9 years old. Their needs have always concerned me as I have "come out" to myself, my family, and others. How are their lives affected by the changes in my life? What have they lost, what have they gained, by having a lesbian mother? How do they, how do we together, deal with the homophobia that is in all our lives? When I first was coming out, I talked with them about my growing understanding of my own sexuality because I felt they deserved clear, honest statements about the nature of my relationship with my lover. I wanted a home without secrets, hidden emotions, or the tensions they create. They needed to know that they could talk with me about their feelings-friendly or ugly-without being judged. And I was excited about my new sense of self and wanted to share my happiness. I let them know whom in the family I had talked to, so they wouldn't have to wonder who knew. I talked to their father to relieve them of the burden of "keeping my secret" when they were with him. Fortunately, we have had acceptance in our family. I know other lesbian mothers who have been threatened with, or have experienced, the loss of custody of their children because of heterosexlst exhusbands and other relatives. Often gay and lesbian parents are not even allowed visitation rights. M. (older daughter) and H. (younger daughter) have responded differently to my being lesbian.* The first year, they both seemed to accept it with little change of attitude or feeling toward me. As M. grew into her teens, she became angry and hurt by my lifestyle. She told me once that she didn't like my lover spending so much time at our house because her friends were asking, "Why is she there so much?" M. did not want to explain. I assured her that when I "came out" to friends, I was scared of their reactions but always ended up being supported by them. Her response was, "But your friends aren't 15." It was true. Being a teenager and being "different" is hard. And, if your mom is different, you are different. Fortunately, as M. is moving into adulthood and becoming clear about her own sexuality, she again is becoming more relaxed and accepting in her relationship with me and my lover/partner. Other problems can face lesbian or gay couples and their children outside of the family circle in general society. We have had to deal with a broad variety of issues that probably confront all lesbian or gay parents and their children: How do churches, schools, and other community agencies relate to families with lesbian or gay parents? Are both parents encouraged to come to parent-teacher conferences? Who can attend the PTA meetings? When my daughter's school has Open House and my lover goes with me, how should she get introduced to the teacher? Is there a support system that sustains families such as ours through tough times? When we all go to church, are we considered a familyencouraged to participate in family events? Who speaks up when children at the day-care center where I work use "fag" and "lessie" as put downs? The schools and churches should understand that these problems are all of ours. The community's educational, counseling, religious, and other service organizations must begin addressing the needs of children of lesbian or gay parents and the heterosexism that creates and contributes to those needs. Children of lesbians or gay men need support, information, and a variety of adult role models. Isolation, i.e., feeling that "we're" the only ones, is, perhaps, the hardest thing. To whom do you talk when nobody talks about homosexuality except to put it down? Knowledge of sexuality in general, including objective information about homosexuality, is sadly lacking for our children. As far as I know, my children had no resources, no frame of reference in which to deal with lesbianism, when I first came out-except a loving family. I am glad my children now have role models who are gay, straight, female, male, single, and "coupled." They learn that there are many ways to relate to others-that differing lifestyles are a healthy part of life. My children and I have been fortunate to have the family and friends that we have. Lesbian and gay parents can't "do it all alone" any more than other parents can. The community must acknowledge the needs of children of lesbians and gay men and create a better, more open flow of information and support for (continued on next page) * I have decided not to include the names ofmy children in this article. I do not wish, at this time, to force them to "come out" as openly as this article would be iftheir names were printed. They need to choose their own times and ways to come out as children ofa lesbian mother. Manna for the .Towney / 9 Joys and Frustrations (continued) these children and their parents. The churches could lead the way in this endeavor. Instead, they seem to be taking gigantic steps backwards into oppressive, legalistic attitudes of a former day. I often consider how my life has affected my daughters. They have lost a certain innocence of childhood where there is no "hard stuff' to deal with. But they also have gained an ability to work through difficult times. H. almost lost a trip to Alaska when she was 10. My sister had arranged for H. to visit her in Anchorage before I came out to her. When I did so, I received a letter from my sister that shocked and surprised me. She considered homosexuality a sin. Although she didn't approve of my lifestyle, she wanted to continue to love me as her sister. I almost didn't let H. go visit her aunt because I was afraid my sister would try to influence H.'s feelings toward me. But, in the end, I trusted my sister's love and common sense and the strength of my relationship with H., and sent her off for a wonderful two-week visit. Very recently, I realized that my daughters and I had all lost something very important (at least for a time). When I came out, I stopped a lot of my communication with my ex-in-laws. I love my children's grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but I let go of them because it was "easier" than coming out to them. I let my connection with them become very distant, and M. and H.'s did also. That was not intentional on my part, but it happened. Their grandmother died recently. It was only then that I realized how much we all had lost over the last five years. How sad that my own internalized homophobia and fear of it in others contributed to that loss. What have my children gained? They have a mother who is happy with herself; a greater openness to dealing with sexuality in general; knowledge that they have choices in life; a better understanding of intolerance and how fear feeds intolerance. A friend asked me, "How do you raise children to be nonhomophobic?" My first response was, "I have no idea." But now, I see clearly, one raises children to be nonhomophobic and nonheterosexist in the same way one raises them to be nonracist and nonsexist. Children must learn first to value themselves; to feel good about whoever they are; to know that they have choices in their lives about work, loving, and relationships. One helps them learn not to be afraid to question, to recognize fear in themselves and to name it. One teaches them to respect others, to appreciate what is similar about us all and that which is different and to celebrate both. Finally, one tries to be and to act according to personal beliefs. Jwant to be honest with myself and with my children. I want to be clear with them about my sexuality and my life choices. Finally, I want them to know that I feel good about who I am and who they are; that it is OK for me to love women and it is also OK for them to struggle with that. I want us to share the joys, pains, frustrations, and victories. That is how we all learn to be more human. Parents FLAG Groups The Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc. (Parents FLAG, or PFLAG), was officially formed in 1981. Groups of parents had been meeting around the country since the first groups of parents met in New York in1973. The primary objective of Parents FLAG is "to help parents and their Gay children to understand and love one another, and to offer mutual support wherever it is needed." (from "About Our Children," p. 12) Although parents of gay men and lesbians comprise most of the members of Parents FLAG, other relatives, friends, gay men, and lesbians are active members. There are 65 Parent FLAG groups in the country (at least one in every state), and many single contacts in areas where there are not groups. These groups and individuals help each other learn about the concerns and needs of their gay children and friends. Rap groups are held across the country, and many of the local groups sponsor a crisis phone line. Parents FLAG is available to furnish speakers for organizational events and has a thorough list of resources on gay and lesbian issues. National Convention A national convention of Parents FLAG is held once a year. These conventions are held in different locations across the country. The next Parents FLAG convention will be September 19-21, 1986, in Portland, Oregon. This event will provide a place for networking, support, and education. Workshop topics at the event will include religion, AIDS, coming out to families, youth groups, and much more. For more information, contact the Parents FLAG national office (listed below) or the convention chairperson, Thelma, at 503-223-5293. Starting a PFLAG Group One of the primary objectives of Parents FLAG is to enable more local groups to be formed. Parents FLAG has sent mailings to such diverse groups as university dorm directors, nursing schools, and 90,000 local churches across the United States. (Included in this church mailing were a large number of United Methodist congregations.) Local churches can be an important catalyst for the beginnings of support and caring for parents and friends of lesbians and gay men. Several of the Parents FLAG groups have been started by clergy who have a gay or lesbian child. Each congregation, whether or not it knows it, has members who are friends and families of gay men and lesbians. Ministry to these members could be the beginning of reconciliation within families and within your church. Contact the national office of Parents FLAG (address is listed below) for information on how you can start a local group. For More Information For information about parents' groups and contacts, you may write either the Reconciling Congregation Program or the natiopal office of Parents FLAG. Two free booklets, "About Our Children" and "Coming Out to Your Parents," are available from Parents FLAG. Send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Parents FLAG P.O. Box 24565 Los Angeles, CA 90024 10/ A-fallna for the JOUl7ley by Mike Underhill Mike Underhill is the national treasurer ofAffirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. He is the father ofa nine-year-old daughter and lives in Chicago, fl/inois. "yougay fathers are strange. You've got one foot in the straight community and one foot in the gay world. You must be crazy," a usually understanding friend recently told me. While I know my friend genuinely supports civil rights for all, his comment certainly shows the ignorance, if not the hostility, that surrounds the 10 percent of gay men who are fathers and the much larger percentage of gay men who are involved in nurturing relationships with children. While one would expect hostility from homophobic persons, I am struck by the lack of understanding that comes from within the gay community as well as from gay fathers' friends who support many other areas of gay life. Several years ago, for example, our local Affirmation group went out on a Sunday outing to the zoo. That day half of the men in the group were fathers. The day itself was beautiful, the first warm day of spring, and the zoo was overflowing. Kids continually ran through and around us. All was well until one of our group was bumped and almost knocked down. As he yelled out to the running child, he indignantly remarked, "Well, at least we don't have kids like those breeders do!" This lack of understanding pervades many images of gay men. There are many different positive views of the "gay lifestyle." You'll look long and hard, however, to find many images in which children and nurturing are thought-by the general gay male community or society at large-to be important parts ora gay man's life. Gay fathers and gay men who want to be nurturing pay a price for this ignorance. But the real victims are the thousands and thousands of children who are denied their rights to love and be loved by their fathers and the millions of children who are prevented from having nurturing, productive relationships with adult gay men. There are many reasons why all men, both gay and straight, are discouraged from having nurturing relationships with children. But there are two beliefs, I think, that directly contribute to the particular ignorance and hostility about gay men nurturing children: • A belief that gay fathers just don't legitimately exist. • A belief that a male homosexual environment is an inherently suspicious one in which to raise children. These concerns primarily face gay fathers, but they may also have some relevance for gay men who are nurturing children as day-care workers, teachers, counselors, clergy, or social workers. In addition, some of the issues discussed here parallel the concerns of lesbian mothers; others probably do not. (continued on next page) Manna for the Journey / 11 Nurturing Children (continued) . Heterosexism Both gay and straight communities often see a gay father's children as "mistakes" or as remnants of a heterosexual past. Similarly, many see a gay man's desire to adopt children as a refusal to accept his homosexuality or as a desire to become "respectable." The implication is that, if all were properly sorted out, gay fathers just wouldn't exist. Fathering would be left to the heterosexual men, and the gay men could get on with their interior decorating, choir directing, or other "suitable" homosexual activities. The assumptions, I think, are that homosexual persons and children don't "naturally" go together and that heterosexual persons have a privileged claim to children. As such, this view is yet another manifestation of heterosexism. Conceiving children is so intimately connected with males and females together that it may be difficult to see that raising children has little connection with the sexual preferences of adult men or women. Conception requires that an ovum and a sperm come together. But the biological facts of conception require neither heterosexual love or heterosexual nurturing. In our more honest moments, we know this to be true. How many children are conceived, in the absence of love, as an attempt to "save" a marriage? How many children are conceived with the conscious desire of only one of the sexual partners? How many heterosexual parents are good nurturers? Desiring to have children, wanting to nurture children, enjoying being with kids-these are simply human desires, having little or nothing to do with an adult's sexual orientation. Whether two gay men can biologically produce a child is as irrelevant for their desire and ability to raise children as it is for the heterosexual couple in which one spouse is sterile. Homophobia and Patriarchy It has long been asserted by many persons that a gay male environment simply is not a good one in which to raise children. On one level, this belief reflects a particular distaste that is often accorded to gay culture. Heterosexual intercourse is praised as a gift of God; gay sex is judged to be disgusting. Lonely-heart ads in a straight newspaper are seen as funny or sad; personal ads in a gay newspaper are said to be desperate or sick. Heterosexual pornography is seen as offensive; homosexual porn is seen as repulsive. On another level, this belief touches deep strains in our collective psyche. The root, I think, is a fear of male power in general and male sexuality in particular. In a patriarchal system, such as ours traditionally has been, men commonly understand themselves to be unreliable, if not incapable, of controlling their sexuality and their desire for power. Patriarchy thus absolves males of responsibility for controlling their aggressiveness. As a corollary, women are held responsible for trying to civilize or tame this otherwise unbridled male power. The home of the family, then, is that space in which the female presence makes possible a nurturing environment suitable for children. But what happens in an environment in which women are not intimately present? Who will protect the children from the men? How can we not be suspicious about raising children in a gay environment? From all that we know about male power and male sexuality, these are valid questions. Some men certainly use all relationships, including those with children, as an arena in which to demonstrate and develop their male power. Some men abuse-cruelly and deliberately, psychologically and sexually-children. Whether based on cultural judgment or patriarchal fear, the view that gay men-either because of their gayness or because of their maleness-should not raise children probably does include sincere concern for children. Still, we should be very careful not to let concern for the well-being of children be translated into a blanket homophobic judgment about the unsuitability of any gay male environment for raising children. Struggle Heterosexism, homophobia, and patriarchy certainly provide many rationalizations why gay fathers cannot be legitimate and why gay men should not be allowed nurturing relationships with children. Our task as people of faith, however, is to struggle with these traditions, bringing to bear all that experience, reason, and scripture have to offer. From the above starting points, we can explore other resources in an ongoing discussion and reflection. One resource is contemporary research about gay and lesbian parenting. Again and again, this research finds that (1) what's important for a child's development is the quality of love and care that an adult is able to give the child and (2) the more accepted and supported a gay or lesbian parent is, the more he or she is able to give love and care to the child. Another reason is simply the experience of gay men who are already nurturing children in most communities throughout the country. These men and their children provide real-life data against which the beliefs of heterosexism and homophobia can be examined. Again and again, children teach us that one man's falling in love with another man is just not as critical in their lives as it is in ours as adults. Heterosexism and homophobia are grown-up ways ofviewing the world. A child's problems are "Is Daddy there?," "Do Mommy and Daddy really love me?," or "Why?" Especially for those of us who have had many years' experience in believing that homosexuality is evil, sinful, and sick, it is an unexpected lesson that what has taken us so long to see is something that children intuitively know. And learning from children is profoundly healing and liberating. Gay fathers don't have to be role models so that their children will easily adapt to a sexist and homophobic society. They don't have to be in control. They don't have to measure their success by patriarchal standards. Gay fathers can be themselves-as butch, as effeminate, as silly, as serious, and as gay as God made them. Their children will still be strong and healthy, loved and loving, with as many glories and as many warts as any children. And our children will love us for who we are. 12 / Malllla for [he lOUlney 1 Any two adults who try to share the same living space will inevitably experience some conflict and disagreement. Sometimes, if those individuals are to maintain an ongoing, committed relationship, outside help may help them resolve some ofthe issues that are especially complex. Such seeking of outside help should not be seen as indicating any sort of failure in the relationship; rather, a willingness on the part of both partners to work toward a more mutually satisfying relationship is actually a sign of considerable strength. Couple counseling is readily available for heterosexual married couples. Same-sex couples or heterosexual couples who are living together without a marriage license face many of the same issues as their legally married counterparts; however, counseling for these couples is not as easily available. For same-sex couples, especially, it is often intimidating to look for a counselor who is understanding of lesbian/gay lifestyles as well as skilled in working with couples. Although the basic patterns of relationships are the same regardless ofthe gender ofthe individuals involved, there are issues that must be considered somewhat differently with lesbian or gay couples. For most same-sex couples, the specific details regarding commitment have never been discussed, yet each partner brings a lifetime of assumptions about how relationships and commitments are supposed to be. These rules about commitment usually have not been examined carefully in dialogue with the partner. The same problem exists for married couples who use the standard marriage vows without stopping to think about their real meaning and specific applications. Lesbian or gay couples who decide to have some sort of commitment ceremony are forced to struggle with the issue of commitment as they write their vows. This process of putting in writing the specific understanding of commitment can be difficult, but it also can Counseling with Gayand Lesbian Couples by Dorothy Gager Dorothy Gager is a licensed independent practitioner of social work with considerable experience in counseling lesbians and gay men. She is a member ofNashville's Edgehill United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation. be one of the most useful tools in helping couples come to grips with the foundation upon which their relationship is established. Even if a couple is not interested in any sort of public statement of the terms of the relationship, it can be extremely helpful to have each person independently write what he or she is willing to commit to in the relationship. Only after each person has developed a statement of his or her own should the partners share these statements with each other. Ifeach person has been honest, the process of looking at the other person's perceptions about relationships can lead to the formulation of a common agreement that can be used as the starting point at any time in the future when problems arise. Closely linked to the issue of differing understandings of commitment is the issue of roles within the relationship. Despite tremendous changes in the understanding of sex roles in recent years, the basic assumptions about male and female roles within relationships serve as a point ofdeparture for most couples in deciding such varying issues as who sets standards for household cleanliness, who checks the oil in the car, who manages the budget, and who initiates sexual activity. Once again, people come to relationships with deep-seated assumptions about who should perform which tasks, and these need to be brought into the open and negotiated. In some lesbian and gay relationships, the individuals choose to follow strictly the traditional roles, with one person taking the stereotypical male role and the other taking the female role. It is important not to jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with this arrangement. If both individuals are aware that other alternatives exist, and if neither feels dissatisfied or oppressed by the way the relationship operates, the pattern may be functional for that relationship at a particular time. As long as communication lines are open and functioning well and each individual is able to raise matters for discussion, the couple should be (continued on next page) Malllla for the Joumey / 13 orientation. One partner may be Counseling (continued) Other grief issues are often presextremely closeted with family ent, especially in instances where able to deal with any future difficulties in a satisfactory manner. there is estrangement from the members, meaning that the partfamily of origin or where society's ners never can be together on One of the major factors affecting reaction to the lesbian/gay lifestyle holidays or that the other partner may resent time spent with family. the stability of long-term lesbian or has meant the abandonment of gay relationships is the relative ease career or other dreams. When one When one or both partners has children, all of the problems faced or both partners in a couple bring with which such relationships can by any blended family exist, plus a to a new relationship such major be initiated and terminated. This is wide array of issues such as legal grief issues, increased support is not to imply that entering or leaving custody, decisions about what to necessary if the relationship is to relationships is taken lightly. It is tell the children, and societal presgrow in a healthy way while the true, however, that many married sure on the children.· It is imporpast issues are being resolved. couples work through problems tant to note that research shows that rather than separating largely bechildren reared in lesbian or gay For many lesbian or gay couples, cause they desire to avoid the legal households adjust well if they are there may be no role models of divorce process. The institution of healthy couples that have mainin a family where they know they marriage in our society certainly tained a long-term relationship. are loved by both adults and where has its problems, but it does have the adults relate well to each other. Such couples certainly do exist, but clear entry and exit rituals and Such children are no more likely to they usually associate primarily rules that are binding on the parties be lesbian or gay than children with friends their own age who are involved. also in long-term relationships. reared in more conventional Lesbian or gay relationships They may be less visible within the households. may become coupled relationships lesbian/gay community because of without going through any conNone of the issues discussed scious process of acknowledging having successfully created their above are unique to lesbian or own subcommunity of support. what is happening. Two individuals gay relationships and families, but Younger lesbians and gay men tend who have been seeing each other they do take on a slightly different to socialize and meet people in setregularly may decide to move in flavor in such couples. Each coutings where most people are not in together because someone's lease ple, regardless of the gender of its expires or because of financial relationships, and they may make members, struggles with the same the faulty assumption that there are stress. While these are legitimate general issues, and each couple no other settings or types of relareasons for a change in living quartionships. Further complicating achieves its own unique balance in ters, they are not necessarily legimeeting the needs of both partners. this problem can be the fact that timate reasons for deciding to enter In a society where divorce and older lesbians and gay men in longa long-term relationship. The result separation are facts of life. it makes may be that two people find themterm relationships are often well sense for anyone entering into a established in their jobs and feel selves living together and trying to the need to be closeted-or at least long-term relationship to be aware maintain a committed relationship of the difficulties ahead and to to be more selective about where without having made a careful make some plan about where help decision that they want to do so. If they choose not to be closetedwill be sought if the need arises. the relationship does not work out, and are therefore not visible as role Receiving counseling, whether inmodels. It is helpful for lesbians they may tell themselves that they and gay men to know about couples dividually or as a couple, should be have failed or they may take consuch as Dell Martin and Phyllis seen as a sign of growth and comsolation in the popular (but not Lyon, lesbian social activists since mitment, not as a sign of failure or necessarily correct) view that lesdoom. Because of the additional bians and gay men cannot mainthe 1950s and co-authors of Lesbian/ Woman, and the four gay male societal pressures on lesbian and tain long-term relationships. gay couples, they have even more couples who write a regular column There seems to be less understandin The Afhocate (a national gay reasons for entering relationships ing in the lesbian/gay culture ofthe newspaper) about various relationwith caution, with open comgrief process and the need for a ship issues and experiences. munication and assumptions and period of mourning and healing expectations, and with examinaafter the end of a relationship. Too tion of the specific terms of comWhile relationships withfamilies of often, individuals immediately seek origin can be problemmatic for any mitment, as well as with joy in another relationship without ever couple, there are special stresses for having found a partner to serve as a resolving the grief over previous fellow pilgrim on the lifelong jourlesbian or gay couples, especially losses. The result is a person with ney called relationship. when the two individuals have very multiple grief wounds, lacking the different relationships with their emotional energy to deal sucfamilies. It is not uncommon for *See the articles by Judy Cayot and Mike cessfully with the present or the f~milies to blame the partner for Underhill in this issue for more discussion of past. lesbian and gay parenting. their son's or daughter's sexual 14 / Manna for the Joumey Qat::ed Mered eth Fred Methered is a retired teacher. gay activist, counselor, and historian. He is a founder of the Sexual Identity Center in Honolulu and is active in the Metropolitan Community Church and in the United Methodist Church. He is the father of three children and the grandfather offour. M any gay men and lesbians have come to an acknowledgement of their homosexuality only after years of struggling with self and society to get the fortitude, commitment, or whatever to be open about an integral part of who they are as human beings-something of which they may have been aware, in various degrees of consciousness, since their earliest years. I know from personal experience how difficult and painful it can be to "come out" as a homosexual while belonging to a church family in which one has been active from earliest youth and while also belonging to a bloodrelated family (in my case, having a wife and three grown children). It takes God's urging, support, and help. From my earliest consciousness, I wanted to hug boys, not girls, but did not act on the desire. I didn't know why boys didn't hug boys-boys just didn't. I never had even an inkling that it might be possible for a loving Creator to give some of humanity a sexual attraction toward persons of the same gender. My father died when I was a teenager, and I had no adult male confidant. I was introverted and seldom got into the supposedly unavoidable sexinformation exchanges with peers. I have no recollection of even a hint of being cruised by an older male. Nor do I recall ever being tempted to invite seduction. Sex education was nonexistent. By the time I was high school age, we students had been indoctrinated with the assurance that "self-abuse" automatically resulted in hairy, coarse, and abrasive palms. I was left to wonder why I alone managed to avoid that calamity or whether other boys simply forwent the pleasure I could not resist. Later, in college psychology courses, we might find a couple of pages on "deviation," phrased in terms likely to titillate more than inform. No one risked suspicion or embarrassment by showing interest in explicit elucidation. After I had received undergraduate and graduate degrees in history and religion, 1 became a teacher and student counselor until World War II. Stationed in the Philippines when the war ended, I gravitated to Japan where, in response to recruitment drives for civilian workers on the U.S Occupation force, I doffed my uniform for civilian wear, becoming a military historian. There I met, in an approved social group of "enemy aliens," a young Japanese woman who enjoyed dancing as much as I did and whose aunt found me to be an acceptable guest. With my facing frequent jibes for reaching 30 without having a wife and children, my Japanese girlfriend and I ignored Occupation frowns and married. Eventually, we moved, with two sons and a daughter, to Hawaii. Middle age came and, with diminishing straight sexual competence, I became more and more aware of the repressed attraction I felt for males. I knew no homosexuals, and, anyway, overt outreach to another male was unthinkable. My fantasies remained limited to hugging and/or fondling-and definitely without genital play. I began intensive research on human sexuality and biblical exegesis. I learned that sexual orientation was not a matter of individual choice and, undoubtedly, was ineradicably fixed during a person's earliest years. I recalled that God never ended the creation process, continuing to bring new insights to human creation. I noted that Isaiah's Yahweh had told God's people not to dwell on past history and that "I am doing a new deed" and that later Jesus was sent to expound even greater concepts of love for all human creation. I learned that no concept of differing sexual orientations had been made known by the Creator to humanity until glimmerings were given to some European scholars in the middle and late 1800s. I learned that, for that reason and because no equivalent to homosexual existed in Hebrew, Greek, or Latin, none of the words in those languages could correctly or ethically be translated into the emerging English word homosexual. Self acknowledgement of my homosexuality came with the enlightening conviction that I did not need to engage in sex with another male to prove that I was indeed a homosexual. I just was and always had been a homosexual, even though I was married, fathered children, and passed middle age without having knowingly spoken to another homosexual. My mind knew all that; my conscience and God's needling called on me to be honest with my family, my church, and, above all, my God and myself. While that demand grew constantly more clamorous, I prayed and procrastinated. In 1969, the Stonewall Riots suddenly catapulted homosexuality into public consciousness. I saw young men and women risking schooling, careers, even lives in seeking human rights protections for homosexuals. Fairly secure myself, I was letting those younger homosexuals suffer for me. I felt God's (continued on next page) Manila for the .Ioumey / 15 Out--:-At Last (continued) increased pressure to share the risks, yet I continued to weasel. As a member of my annual conference's Council on Ministries and its Adult Ministries Committee, I did, at least, cautiously begin speaking out in United Methodist circles, carefully avoiding giveaways about any personal interest. In addition, after I retired in 1972, I got heavily involved in volunteer counseling and began to hear about homosexuals in Hawaii. At a Council of Churches meeting, I met a young man who was forming a Honolulu Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) congregation. He was the first person I knew to be a homosexual with whom I exchanged more than a hello. I asked to talk to him about what I could do for those "mistreated" homosexuals. Although Ron surely knew that I was peeking from behind a closed closet door, he was kind, made no spoken assumptions, spoke about conditions among homosexuals, and invited me to attend MCC services. God's prodding increased, and I agonized about acknowledgement. I was aware of the evils of homophobia, and I knew my Christian faith expected me to condemn such fear and prejudice. I continued to pray for guidance and, meanwhile, intensified my commitment to serve gay youth. I saw the pain the youth endured and the rejections they suffered; I saw estrangement from parents and alienation from religious loyalties; I saw bitterness and the wounding of inner selves. My prayers turned to pleas for leads as to how I could best help. It was obvious that my effectiveness would be increased if I were accepted as one of "them." I integrated myself into the homosexual community, a step that proved rewarding and joyful. However, the suicide, within eight months, of three young men who had been very close to me stirred a crushing grief and, with it, a boundless anger against church members who maliciously charged young men with unforgivable sin and against parents who closed their doors on their sons. Iffine, sensitive 20-year-olds were driven to die because of a sexual orienation given by God, then God no longer accepted wishy-washiness from me. God demanded that I, fairly immune from personal hurts, be completely open about my own sexual orientation so that, hopefully, I might be more helpful to others who suffered more than I. Finally, my procrastination withered. Iwas exceptionally fortunate and blessed with my family. The roughest time for my wife and me had come years before I "came out," when I ceased to be an adequate sexual mate. I returned to masturbation and fantasy, and my wife, without any heavy discussions, appeared to find other values as substitutes for sexual companionship. By the time I "came out," we were socializing together more than we had 20 years earlier. Our children were by then young adults, and the two oldest lived far from home after being graduated from mainland colleges. When I wrote to them about my sexual orientation and my commitment to fight for human rights for gay persons, my older son responded that, regardless of the kind of commitment I felt called upon to make, he would always back me, taking the choice to be right for me. My daughter's reaction was short: "That big news, Dad, is no big deal. It's OK with us, and we love you." My younger son, recently graduated from college, lived in Hawaii, and his reaction was much like that of his sister. That last reaction was illustrated by an amusing occurrence. I was eager to "educate" my fellow United Methodists, and I wangled an invitation to meet with a group at First UMC, Honolulu, which we had attended for 20 years. My son, then the church's lay leader, introduced me to the group by saying, "This is my Dad, who knows all about sex." I talked about homosexuality and answered questions. Something was said that caused me to say, "Look, folks, I am a homosexual and have been a homosexual ever since birth." After some of the people had recovered from their initial shock, questioning turned to my son. Asked how he had reacted to the "news," he said that he had been taught to think of human beings as being worthy and good as long as they didn't hurt others. Then: "But, Bob, how did you find out that your Dad was gay?" Answer: "Well, I think that I knew it before he did." And that may have been true if the "he did" was "he accepted it." My wife has met most of my gay friends-often counselees or fellow activists, almost all the age of our children or younger. Some she likes very much, some just a little, and some not at all-especially very young fellows who are "hurting" so much that they appear to her to be "wimps," too weak to stand up to parents and peers. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, "Set yourself earnestly to discover what you are made to do, and then give yourself passionately to the doing of it." God had uncovered to me, over my reticence, wha~ I had to do, and I pledged that, as long as God gave me life, I would work, in every way I could, to bring about the acceptance-not toleration, but acceptanceof gay men and lesbians. I would not rest until we could all sit in complete and loving fellowship in the pews where we had received our early religious nurture, where we had wanted to remain but from which we had been alienated. I would also strive for the day when we could feel the same full acceptance by society as a whole. My family accepted that commitment of mine, and my appreciation for their support knows no bounds. AhosPitalization two years ago forced me to live my life at a much slower pace. Nevertheless, I am continuing my efforts to the best of my ability. I know now that I am doing what a loving, compassionate God wants me to do. My life is more open, more honest, more compassionate, and much happier than it ever was when I was concealing so inherent a part of my humanness. I am at peace with my God and myself. I am no longer afraid, ever, to speak out. 16/Malina for the Journey Martha Rutland· Wallis is the pastor of Highlands United Methodist Church in Jack· sonville. Florida. Every Sunday, as part of our gathering, my congregation sings, "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God." What are some ways in which local churches can begin to make this song sing in the lives of all the members of our family-including lesbians, gay men, and those close to them, such as their parents, siblings, and children? Focusing on the statement in the United Methodist Social Principles-that we are all persons of sacred worth-a church family could minister to some of the deepest pastoral needs of this constituency simply by acknowledging and affirming their presence. Instead of operating on the assumption that no such folk are in our churches, we could assume that they are among us and begin to find ways to extend a warm welcome. • Consider becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Reconciling Congregations are those who are dealing with a grave crisis in the United Methodist Church in such a way that we are again "one in the spirit." We can all learn from these congregations and be made more whole through their ministries. • Give a friend, your church library, your conference library and newspaper editor, the United Methodist Women's program resource officer, or your public library a gift (continued on next page) Manna for the Joumey / 17 (and of single, heterosexual partimes there are basic needs like Opportunities (continued) ents). With relatives often distant sheets, housing, housewares. As subscription to Manna for the with any serious health crisis, either by miles or by choice, how is Journey. volunteers to answer phones, proyour church seeking to be "family" to these parents? What kind of care vide transportation, shop, and lis• Mfinnation is another chanis extended to lesbian and gay ten are always appreciated. nel of welcome. Being "United parents and their children when The church can do much to Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Conthere are family crises: sickness, cerns," this organization can keep educate people about the probdeath, job change, and the constant local churches aware of the conlems and possibilities for our bepressure of children who need all coming a more caring community cerns of these members of our their families to give, and more? to those most personally touched family. Subscribe to national MfirWhile our United Methodist mation's newsletter for your church by AIDS. Social Principles clearly support library; announce its availability, Too many times parents of lesthe civil rights of homosexual peror post it on the bulletin board bians and gay men have no one sons, sustaining the struggle to regularly.* Put notices about nawith whom to talk about their conobtain and protect those rights is tional and local Mfinnation-sponfusion and their pain. These parnecessary for the rights to become a sored conferences in regular church ents are in our church families. reality. "Blessed are the poor in newsletters-so that those who Find out where the nearest Parents spirit for yours is the realm ofGod." might be interested find out about and Friends of Lesbians and Gays The influence of the church can be them; and so that those who would (PFLAG) chapter is located. Have of great help to those suffering job someone come and share their rather not know about the existence loss and discrimination, child cusstory with members of your church. of these members of our family are tody disputes, housing and credit Make the resources of this organikept informed of their presence as problems, immigration scrutiny, well. zation available in your church lithe constant presence ofverbal and ,brary. Maybe even start a chapter Such avenues are not open only physical violence, and the spiritual so that fewer parents will be lost to United Methodists. No matter pain of being outcast by family what the denomination of your and more friends may be found. and church. local church, you can contact the Many times a family will simply In many areas, the church has national lesbian/gay organization drop away from the church rather traditionally been a leader in matof your denomination. Programs than share this difficult part oftheir ters of justice. Unfortunately, this like the Reconciling Congregation life journey, especially when our often has not been the case when it Program are also sponsored by church is more vocal about its fear came to the rights of lesbians and and hostility than it is about its Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay gay men. People are leaving our Concerns and Lutherans Concommitment to care and reconcerned (see Rep Report, p. 22,). churches in great pain and are sufcile. fering intense spiritual pain with Sex education needs tremenThe fiist step in developing a few resources to help them. Let the dous attention and support by our ministry with lesbians, gay men, churches. Too often this critically healing and renewing wind of the and their biological and affectional spirit blow by opening some doors important aspect of our lives is left families is to find out what organof awareness in your church. to the streets. Become aware of izations are already serving these what your annual conference is people in your . community, how Let us be guided by the example doing to pn>mote thought and they are doing this, and what needs dialogue about how to live responof Jesus. The tax collectors they are encountering. The best and peasants whom he made the sibly as the sexual beings we are. ministries will be ministries develTake advantage of these programs focus of his ministry were among oped with and by the constituency and make them available on a local the most despised and outcast served. We cannot serve the elderly, level so that more people are able to citizens of his day. Jesus came that the alcoholic, the youth without they might know the love of God. participate. involving those persons in the Help your church extend the love ministry itself. The same is true of of God to all its members. Begin Another oft-neglected conserving homosexual persons. stituency in our churches is now to offer some basic love and Special needs may exist surthe children. Church meetings care to a constituency you may not rounding the current AIDS crisis, often ignore the need for child care even know but which has always which is challenging the caring reand the need for pro gam developbeen here-and is here to stay. sources of our churches. Who curMter all, when we turn anyone ment for children. Lesbian and gay rently serves those suffering in your parents-whether they be "single" away, we turn away the living community? How do personal fears or in couples-may find that supChrist. exacerbate the problems? Are pubport for their child-raising is critlic health resources availableically needed, yet hard to obtain. *Published quarterly. Send a $15 donhospice, nursing homes, funeral Parenting resources usually ignore ation to Mfirmation, P.O. Box 1021; homes, home nursing care? Many Evanston, IL 60204. the presence of lesbian/gay parents 18 / Manna for the Journey The Day of Pentecost, traditionally observed seven weeks after the Passover, was the celebration of _the day on which the Hebrew law was given. For Christian traditions, Pentecost represents the day that the Holy Spirit came in a rush of wind and fire, filling the followers of Jesus with a gift of speaking in every tongue and telling the Good News. (Acts 2) Surprised pilgrims from all over the earth heard the Good News in their own languages. (Some call the event of Pentecost the reverse of the Tower of Babel.) The day of Pentecost was the birth of the Christian church. Pentecost today calls ~s back to a wholeness and oneness that has been lost. The church today is divided by fear and hate. May this Pentecost be one in which all may hear the Good News that all are one in God. Let the church be a Church of justice and love, opening its doors to gay and lesbian and bisexual persons, to people of color, to variously abled persons, to women and men. Let the church be rebaptized in the Holy Spirit. Celebrating Pentecost as a Household Begin to incorporate worship celebrations into your daily household life. Use symbols to help you remember the season of the year. Have worship celebrations that fit your household style. Informal conversations, sentence prayers, responsive readings, and justice activities can all be instances of worship. Talk about the meaning of Pentecost for your household. What does it mean to celebrate the birthday of the church? How can your celebration reflect the church's mission of love and justice for all people? Talk to someone you know who is working for justice and ask them why they do what they do. Decide together on an activity to do as a household. Help serve in a soup kitchen, get involved with a network that is helping those with AIDS, join a Parents FLAG group. Have a special birthday service at one of your meals. Decorate your table with red, the color of Pentecost. Light a candle to remind you of the Holy Spirit. Have a time of sharing in which each person tells what they will do to help celebrate the birthday of the church. Close your time together by reading the Pentecost liturgy on the next page. Divide the reading, and let different people read different parts. .... _"No. No, not me." Denial. Denial of his Lord, yes, but just as much, denial of his relationships, his connectedness, his "Who am I?" Fifty days later. the Spirit of God blew through his life and Peter claimed his truth, his people, his life, and his power. God calling, always, Pentecostal Empowerment to those who will claim themselves and speak to an unjust orId. to cry, hLet my people gor' The Spirit upon Miriam to lead the dance of faith and power. The Spirit upon Gandhi to leave English ways for Indian leadership. The Spirit came upon Joan of Arc and Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman and Cesar Chavez, Bishop Desmond Tutu and Reverend Michael Collins. The Spirit, God's Spirit crying out in the wilderness of oppression, calling forth those who will know who they are. Pentecost The everpresent day receiving the gift of the Spirit flinging open closed doors and opening the way for Nebraska Seminar Advocates Reconciling Congregation Program The year-long planning effort culminated in this gathering of 60 persons from four states representing several denominations. In many ministry to persons with AIDS. On the national church level, the United Methodist General Board of Discipleship unanimously endorsed What is a Reconciling Congregaways, the conference was a model of the following resolution in their Febtion? How could my local church how a group can plan an educational ruary meeting: become a Reconciling Congregaand nurturing event for a geographi" During the past seven years, tion? How can I be a "reconciler" cally scattered people who share a within many parts of the world, a with a concern that is so personal common concern for the spiritual new ugly, and dangerous disease and so emotionally divisive? These journey of gay, lesbian, and bisexual called AIDS (Acquired Immune and other questions were addressed persons. Deficiency Syndrome) has appeared. by participants at "Spirituality and To date, the health consequences for Homosexuality: A Dialogue Conthose who contract the disease are ference," held in Lincoln, Nebraska, February 28 and March l. As part of the conference Beth Growing Concern for Ministry to Persons with AIDS devastating. Most frequently, it ends in death. Also running coincident with this epidemic is a psychological Richardson and Mark Bowman led After several years of national crisis for family members and loved 30 participants in a workshop on the media coverage and public concern ones as well as for those at risk for Reconciling Congregation Program over AIDS, mainline churches are the disease. through discussion of the steps of growing more actively involved in "We, the Board of Discipleship of becoming a Reconciling Congregaeducation about and ministry with the United Methodist Church, recogtion. "Every local church is a poten, persons with AIDS. nize that in the midst of this epidemtial Reconciling Congregation" was Within the United Methodist ic, we are called to accept people as a major point of the workshop. ParChurch, several Reconciling Conthey are, relate them to God's healticipants looked at their own local gregations have been in the forefront ing grace, and empower them to churches through the perspective of of this development. The ministry of undertake ministries of compassion the journey toward becoming a bereavement at Washington Square and hope. We applaud those local Reconciling Congregation, recognizUMC (New York) was reported in United Methodist Churches who ing that for some congregations it Manna for the Journey (MFIJ), vol. 2, have already undertaken such minmight take I year and, for others, 20 no. 2. The same issue ofM FIJ reportistries on our behalf. We also confess years. Discussions covered both the ed the resolution "AIDS and the that we as a total church have not theological/biblical framework for Ministry of the Church," which was always responded lovingly in the the program and the practical steps passed by the New York Annual midst of this epidemic in part of implementing it. Participants Confere nce of the UMC last spring. because of deeply held fears and departed with enthusiasm and hope Members of Washington Square prejudices. We ask God's forgiveness for beginning work on becoming a followed up that resolution by workin this regard. Reconciling Congregation in several ing with the Conference Board of "We commend to all United area local churches. Church and Society to plan a Methodist Churches this tragic situThe refreshing presupposition conference-wide workshop which ation as a unique opportunity for that pervaded the whole conference was held on March 22. The conministry and witness. We also comwas to focus on the church's relationference drew 75 participants to share mit ourselves to assembling resources ship to the spiritual journeys of gay, information and learn more about and guidelines to enable local lesbian, and bisexual Christians AIDS ministry in the United Methochurches to engage in such ministry. rather than on the morality of homodist Church. Such work will be carried out by sexuality. Other workshops offered We have also received reports means of a special ad hoc task force to the attendees of the two-day confrom Bethany UMC (San Francisco) appointed by the Board's president, ference were: biblical/theological on their ministry to persons with who will work in conjuction with the understandings, counseling issues, AI DS. Capitol Hill UMC (Seattle) Board's Executive Council." the church and AIDS, coming out/ and St. John's UMC (Baltimore) going out, and family issues. The have been involved in educational keynote address was given by United Methodist Bishop Melvin Wheatley. efforts on AI DS. Several other Reconciling Congregations are developPresbyterian Gathering The conference was the collaboring programs. Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay ative effort of an interdenominaAnother positive sign of growing Concerns (PLGC) will be visible tional body of concerned laity and church involvement is that at least again this summer at the annual clergy under the auspices of the three United Methodist clergy are General Assembly of the Pres- Interchurch Ministries of Nebraska. appointed to positions involving (continued on next page) M allllafor the Journey /2 J I several articles explore discriminaeral Assembly will be held June byterian Church (U.S.A.). The Genchures describing the Reconciling tion and oppression experienced by 10-18 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Congregation Program, as well as lesbians and gay men, and relevant PLGC will have an exhibition booth subscription forms and sample copies legislation and litigation is reviewed. and hospitality suite during the of Manna for the Journey, were availBack issues ofManna for the Jourgathering. They will also hold their able. ney are available for $3 each. Any of annual membership meeting on We would encourage you to think the above resources can be obtained Friday evening, June 13, and sponsor about how you or your local church by writing: Reconciling Congregaa special luncheon the following could help others learn more about tion Program, P.O. Box 24213, NashSaturday afternoon. For information our collective efforts at your annual ville, TN 37202 or Manna for the about participating in or assisting conference gathering coming up Journey, P.O. Box 23636, Washingwith these efforts, write to: PLGC, soon. If you need resources for this ton, DC 20026. c/o James Anderson, P.O. Box 38, endeavor, you can write to either the Reconciling Congregation Program New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0038. or Manna for the Journey, or call Beth Richardson (615/244-0867) or Mark Bowman (202/484-1233). Your efforts to help promote our Annual Conferences Offer an work are crucial! Opportunity to Promote Reconciling Congregation Program and Manna for the Journey Resources Available The annual gatherings of United Remember that several resources Methodists offer a rich opportunity are available to you on the Reconcilfor spreading the good news about ing Congregation Program and the Reconciling Congregation ProMannafor the Journey. A revised RCP gram. brochure and a four-page paper, As one example, last year Wal" How to Become a Reconciling Conlingford UMC and Capitol HillUMC gregation," are available at no (both in Seattle) hosted a special dincharge. ner meeting during the Pacific Limited numbers of back issues Northwest Annual Conference gathof Manna for the Journey are also ering. A separate room was reserved available: in advance just off the conference "Be Ye Reconciled" (vol.l, no.l) cafeteria. Announcements of the Ecumenical Efforts provides a biblical and theological meeting were disseminated in the foundation for the Reconciling ConTwo other denominations have early days of the conference gregation Program with articles by similar programs to the Reconciling At the meeting, several represenDr. Joseph Weber, Rev. Virginia Congregation Program in which tatives from both Reconciling ConHilton, and Howard and Millie local churches show their support gregations were present to discuss Eychaner. A six-page annotated for and welcome to lesbians and gay and answer questions about the bibliography on resources related to men. In the Presbyterian Church Reconciling Congregation Program. lesbian/gay concerns and the church (U.S.A.), there are "More Light ConThe pastor, chair of the Administrais included. gregations" and in the Lutheran tive Council, and other persons from "Living and Dying with AIDS" Church, there are congregations each church spoke of the process of which are "Reconciled in Christ." becoming a Reconciling Congrega( vol.1, no.2) explores opportunities for ministry to persons with AIDS. We offer a brief profile of these two tion-the change and growth as well Articles include a medical presentaprograms and a listing of conas the cost to the congregation. Time tion on AIDS, writings on personal gregations which are part of them. for questions was allowed after the experience with AIDS, and suggesWe hope that this sharing will brief presentations. Over 40 persons tions for organizing efforts for edubroaden the support networks for showed up for the meeting to learn cation and ministry about AIDS. gay men, lesbians, their family and more about the Reconciling Con" A Matter of Justice" (vol. 1, no.3) friends, and their congregations. gregation Program. reviews the civil and legal rights conOn a smaller scale, several indivicerns of lesbians and gay men. In Reconciled in Christ Program duals arranged for displaying inforthis issue, Dr. Arthur Flemming preThe Reconciled in Christ promation on conference resource tables sents the Christian case for involvegram was developed by Lutherans at their annual conferences. Broment in the civil rights of all persons, ConcernedlNorth America in 1983. 22/Mal/I/a for the Joumey SI. Francis (ALC) University (LCA) Downtown Presbyterian McKinley Memorial 152 Church Street 1611 Stanford Avenue Congregations in three major Luth121 N. Fitzhugh Street Presbyterian eran bodies-the American Lutheran San FranCisco, CA 94114 Palo Alto, CA 94306 Rochester, NY 14614 809 S. 5th Street Champaign, IL 61820 Church (ALC), Association of EvanChrist Church (AELC) SI. Paurs (LCA) 1090 Qunitara Street 1658 Excelsior Avenue Calvary St. Andrews Parish Bethany Presbyterian San FranCiSCO, CA 94116 Oakland, CA 94602 gelical Lutheran Churches (AELC), 68 Ashland Street 4523 Cedar Springs and the Lutheran Church in America Rochester, NY 14620 Dallas, TX 75219 First United (LCA) Lutheran Peace Fellowship 6555 Geary Blvd. 4100 Moutain Blvd. (LCA)-are invited to sign an "AffirNew Community Life West Hollywood mation of Welcome." San FranCiSCO, CA 94121 Oakland, CA 94619 Presbyterian Presbyterian 243 Rosedale Street 7350 Sunset Blvd. Fullness of God (ALC) "The Affirmation of Welcome is Rochester, NY 14620 Los Angeles, CA 90046 a statement that affirms the message Holden Village Chelan, WA 98816 Westminster Presbyterian Noe Valley Ministry of Christ that calls us to reconcilia400 I Street, S.W. 1021 Sanchez Street tion and wholeness. Since gay and Washington, DC 20024 San FranCiSCO, CA 94114 lesbian persons are often scorned by More Light Program Rockville Presbyterian Seventh Avenue 215 W. Montgomery Avenue Presbyterian Rockville, MD 20850 1329 7th Avenue society and alienated from the The More Light Program was Church, the affirmation states the initiated by Presbyterians for Lesbian! San FranCiSCO, CA 94122 First. Franklin SI. following: Gay Concerns (PLGC) in 1979. Presbyterian Covenant Presbyterian "-that gay and lesbian people More Light congregations have 210 W. Madision Street 670 E. Meadow Drive Baltimore, MD 21201 Palo Alto, CA 94306 "declared that all people, regardless of comes from being unique individuals share with all others the worth that Waverty Presbyterian Westminster Presbyterian Old York Road at 34th Street 240 Tiburon Blvd. their sexual orientation or preference crea ted by God; and their affectional relationships, Baltimore, MD 21218 Tiburon, CA 94920 "-that gay and lesbian people are are welcomed into full participation Central Presbyterian First Presbyterian welcome within the membership of (including election and ordination 318 W. Kentucky Street P.O. Box 236 Louisville, KY 40203 Sausalito, CA 94965 this congregation upon making the to the offices of the church) on the same affirmation of faith that all same basis. The message of the GosNorthside Presbyterian SI. Andrews Presbyterian 1679 Broadway Drake & Donahue Avenues other people make; and pel is for all people. The law of love Ann Arbor, MI48105 Marin City, CA 94965 "-that as members of this conapplies equally to all persons, reLincoln Park Presbyterian Terrace View Presbyterian gregation, gay and lesbian people are gardless of their particular sexual 600 W. Fullerton Parkway 4700 228th Street, S.w. Chicago, IL 60614 Mountlake Terrace, WA 98043 expected and encouraged to share in orientation or preference of their the sacramental and general life of affectional relationships." this congregation." More Light congregations are The coordinator of the Reconencouraged to write and adopt their ciled in Christ Program is Rose own More Light resolutions, A bookReconciling Congregations let giving background information Smith, 12602 Park Street, Cerritos, Washington Square UMC University UMC CA 90701. on More Light ministry, including c/o Cathie Lyons & c/o Steven Webster Ed Weaver 1127 University Avenue Lutheran congregations which sample More Light statements, is 135 W. 4th Street Madison, WI 53715 have become "Reconciled in Christ" available for $2,00 from PLGC. New York, NY 10012 to date are: The contact person for the More Park Slope UMC Wheadon UMC c/o A. Finley Schaef c/o Carol Larson 6th Avenue & 8th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue The Community of Christ Edina Community (ALC) Light Program is: Shirley Hinkamp, 300 W. 55th, #IOJ, New York, NY Brooklyn, NY 11215 Evanston, IL 60201 (ALC) 443 W. 54th Street 10019. 1812 Monroe Street, NW Edina, MN 55424 Calvary UMC St. Paul's UMC Washington, DC 20010 Presbyterian congregations in c/o Chip Coffman c/o George Christie Christ the Mediator (LCA) 815 S. 48th Street 1615 Ogden Street the More Light Program are: Philadelphia, PA 19143 Denver, CO 80218 1900 St. Paul Street Chicago, IL 60615 Baltimore, MD 21218 SI. Mark's (LCA) 3100 S. Calumet Christ UMC Wesley UMC St. Gregory of Nyssa (AELC) Church of the Covenant South Presbyterian Church 67 Newbury Street 343 Broadway c/o Bea Judge c/o Warren Russell 1401 E. 55th Street #3202N 4th & Eye Streets, SW 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Chicago, IL 60615 Boston, MA 02116 Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522 Village Church (LCA) Washington, DC 20024 Fresno, CA 93710 LafayeHe Avenue 130 E. Juneau Avenue Christ Church Presbyterian Resurrection (LCA) Milwaukee, WI 53202 Presbyterian SI. John's UMC Bethany UMC 3301 N. Seminary Street Redstone Campus 85 S. Oxford Street c/o Howard Nash c/o Christine L Shiber Burlington, VT 05401SI. Paul-Reformation (LCA) Brooklyn, NY 11217Chicago, IL 60657 2705 St. Paul Street 1268 Sanchez Street 100 N. Oxford Street Baltimore, MD 21218 San Francisco, CA 94114 Munn Avenue Presbyterian St. Paul, MN 55104 Old South Haven St. Paurs (LCA) 7 S. Munn Avenue Presbyterian P.O. Box 341 Edgehill UMC Sunnyhills UMC Holy Trinity (LCA) East Orange, NJ 07018 South Country Road Northridge, CA 91324 c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Martha Chow Brookhaven, NY 117192730 E. 31st Street 1502 Edgehill Avenue 335 Dixon Road First Presbyterian. TrinityMinneapolis, MN 55406 St. MaHhew's (LCA) Nashville, TN 37212 Milpitas, CA 95035 2 Prospect Street Westminster Presbyterian 11031 Camarillo Street Trenton, NJ 08618 724 Delaware Avenue Christ the Servant North Hollywood, CA 91602 Central UMC Wallingford UMCBuffalo, NY 14222 (ALC/LCA) c/o Howard Abts c/o Chuck Richards 317 17th Avenue, SE SI. Paulus (AELC) Prospect Street 701 West Central at 2115 N. 42nd Street Minneapolis, MN 55414 888 Turk Street Presbyterian Church North Presbyterian Scottwood Seattle, WA 98103 San Francisco, CA 94102 2 Prospect Street 90 Lewis Street Toledo, OH 43610 Grace University (LCA) Trenton, NJ 08618 Geneva, NY 14456 Capitol Hill UMC Harvard and Delware SI. Mark's (LCA) West-Park Presbyterian John Calvin Presbyterian c/o Pat Dougherty Streets, SE 1101 O'Farrell Street 165 W. 86th Street 50 Ward Hill Road 128 Sixteen Street East Minneapolis, MN 55414 San Francisco, CA 94109 New York, NY 10024 Henrietta, NY 14467 Seattle, WA 98112 Mal/fla for the Jowney / 23 Back, Gloria Guss. Are You Still My Mother? Are You Still My Family? New York: Warner Books, 1985. Written by a social worker who has a gay son and now specializes in counseling the families of gay men and lesbians. Borhek, Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents. New York: Pilgrim Press: 1983. Contains suggestions to the lesbian or gay man on how and when to come out to parents, what to expect. For parents, the book explains how initial reactions of grief and loss can be overcome. _______ My Son Eric. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1979. The moving story of an evangelical Christian mother's journey to acceptance of her gay son. Clark, Don. Loving Someone Gay. Milbrae, Calif.: Celestial Arts, 1977. Attempts to enable a positive self-identity to those persons who are newly out. (Primarily oriented to gay men.) Fairchild, Betty, and Hayward, Nancy. Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1979. An excellent book for those who are struggling with the reality of a gay or lesbian relative. Silverstein, Charles. A Family Matter: A Parent's Guide to Homosexuality. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1978. A guide for parents of lesbians and gay men. Discusses how to approach the subject, how to listen, etc. Switzer, David K and Shirley A Parents of the Homosexual. Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1980. Examines feelings of guilt and anger that Christian parents can have toward themselves, their child, and God after hearing that their child is gay or lesbian. Helps parents and children move toward reconciliation. Counseling Babuscio, John. We Speak for Ourselves. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1977. Case histories written specifically for counselors by lesbian and gay counselors. Topics include homophobia, internalized oppression, family relationships. Gonsiorek, John, ed. A Guide to Psychotherapy with Gay and Lesbian Clients. New York: Harrington Park Press, 1985. Includes articles on coming out, therapeutic issues with lesbian and gay couples, bisexuality, etc. 24/Mallfla for the JOl:lmey Hall, Marny. The Lavender Couch: A Consumer's Guide to Psychotherapy for Lesbians and Gay Men. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1985. Discusses how to choose a therapist, danger signs to watch for, what to expect in therapy, and other issues. Moses, A. Elfin, and Hawkins, Robert, eds. Counseling Lesbians and Gay Men. St. Louis: Mosby, 1982. A presentation of counseling techniques for lesbian/gay and heterosexual therapists to assist their lesbian and gay clients. Gay/Lesbian Parenting Gantz, Joe. Whose Child Cries. Rolling Hills Estates, Calif.: Jalmar Press, 1983. Children of gay parents talk about their lives and their growing up in openly gay and lesbian homes. Hanscombe, Gillian E., and Forster, Jackie. Rocking the Cradle. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1982. A book about lesbian mothers, their children, lovers, husbands, friends. Shares their hopes, dreams, concerns, fears. Pies, Cheri. Considering Parenthood: A Workbook for Lesbians. San Francisco: Spinsters Ink, 1985. A workbook for lesbians and their lovers who would like to be mothers. Contains information on artificial insemination, adoption, single parenting, co-parenting, etc. Schulenberg, Joy. Gay Parenting. Garden City, N.J.: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1985. A practical guide to help lesbian/gay parents deal with special problems they are likely to face. Some topics are adoption, artificial insemination, coming out to the children, and preparing for custody battles. Relationships Curry, Hayden, and Clifford, Denis. A Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1980. A practical book that discusses all important aspects of coupling. Includes sample letters, forms and agreements to handle legal situations, estate planning, power of attorney, etc. Uhrig, Larry J. The Two of Us: Affirming, Celebrating, and Symbolizing Gay and Lesbian Relationships. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1984. A handbook by a Metropolitan Community Church pastor, on overcoming the difficulties ofgay and lesbian relationships. Miscellaneous Berzon, Betty. Positively Gay: New Approaches in Gay and Lesbian Ufe. Los Angeles: Mediamix, 1984. A collection of articles that include topics on coupling, job security, financial planning, family relationships, etc. Fortunato, John. Embracing the Exile: Healing Journeys of Gay Christians. New York: Seabury Press, 1982. Presents a theological discussion of the struggle of gay men and lesbians within the church. Good resource for pastoral counselors. Heron, Ann, ed. One Teenager in Ten. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1983. Writings by gay and lesbian youth dealing with parents, growing up lesbian/gay, etc. MacDonald, Barbara, and Rich, Cynthia. Look Me in the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism. San Francisco: Spinsters Ink, 1983. Insightful look at aging from a feminist perspective. Nelson, James. Embodiment. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1978. Covers broadly the subject of human sexuality from a relational standpoint. Includes one chapter on homosexuality. Scanzoni, Letha, and Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey. Is the Homosexual My Neighbor? San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1978. Written by two women from the evangelical tradition, this book presents an excellent introductory look at the concerns of gay men and lesbians and the challenge of ministry to this often marginalized group. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Manna for the Journey Vol 1 No 4 - Our Families