Steve Greenberg

Steve Greenberg
Congregation Shir Tikvah
Union for Reform Judaism (in North America)
Minneapolis, MN

My grandfather gave me this tallis – my first tallis – for my bar mitzvah in November 1966. At the time, I already knew something seemed different about me, because I was definitely attracted to boys. I also figured at such a young age that I had a number of years to outgrow it or get over it. About nine years later, I talked to my rabbi about the same feelings, and he simply told me to ignore them.

It is now almost exactly 40 years after my bar mitzvah. In the interim, I’ve led a synagogue contingent in song as we marched down Market Street in San Francisco in the GLBT Pride Parade, got the spectators to sing “Hava Nagilah” with us a few times, and have served as chazzan (cantor) for numerous prayer services in many settings around the country.

Larry, my partner of nine years, accompanies me for most of the services that are out-of-state, and we find much support and warmth among the congregations that host us.

My siblings and Mom love Larry, and I truly believe if my Dad were still alive, he would’ve adored him, too. There was a time early on when my Mom though it would be nice if Larry were to marry my sister – who is single. He seemed like a nice Jewish boy and that’s what she wanted for her daughter. But over the years, Mom has embraced reality, and at the end of our phone conversations, she tells me to kiss Larry goodnight.

When I told Larry I was going to donate my bar mitzvah tallis to the Stoles Project, he wondered how I would feel to part with my first tallis. I brought up the scene from the movie Harold and Maude. There was a point where Harold gave Maude a ring, and she promptly tossed it into the lake. To Harold’s dismay, she responded, “Now I’ll always know where it is.” My tallis is safe with all the other stoles and tallitot (plural) here, and I’ll always know where to find it.

- January 2007

PS: I’m pleased to write that my rabbi, who told me 30 years ago to “ignore those feelings,” has since sermonized about loving and embracing the GLBT people around us.

This tallit (prayer shawl) was given in conjunction with One Voice Mixed Chorus' "Reclaiming Faith" concerts in January, 2007.

David Lohman
Faith Work Coordinator
National Gay & Lesbian Task Force's Institute for Welcoming Resources
Home of the Shower of Stoles Project
2007

You can read Steve Greenberg's biographic profile here, in the LGBTQ Religious Archives Network's Profile Gallery.