Second Stone #10 - May/June 1990

Second Stone #10 - May/June 1990

10

1990

May/June 1990

THE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER FOR GAY AND LESBIAN CHRISTIANS $2.25
THE
. COND TONE MAY !JUNE, 1990 8000 Readers Across The USA
Parents Who Are 'Out Of The Closet'
Colorado Couple's Lives Changed
By Gay Son, Lesbian Daughter
By Jim Bailey
.illld Dan Grippo
Elinor Kirby Lewalien,
past president of the
Federation of Parents and
Friends of Lesbians and
Gays, and her husband,
Tom, had their lives
abruptly changed on March
2, 1978. The couple, parents
of four children, were
sitting at the kitchen table
when their daughter, Janet,
revealed to them that she
was a Lesbian. In the
spring of 1981, they discovered
that their oldest
son, Tommy, was also gay.
Recalling that day in
1978, Elinor Kirby
Lewallen said her daughter
was 27 at the time, out
of schoo l and working. '"We
really didn't know much
about her life," she said.
SEE COVER STORY, Page 9
Videos: ,lljl People:. 1111~ Leo Treadway An
/ . · · lnspiration,'f o Gay &
.. , Lesbian Teens of St. Paul
m "Common Threads"
Sews Up An Oscar
Review by Eric Hess
Unity Fellowship
National African American
Church Formed
A national religious
organization .has been formed
to address the specific needs
of African American Gays
and Lesbians. A rousing
worship service held at the
third annual National Black
Gay and Lesbian Leadership
Conference and Health
Institute in Atlanta marked
the beginning of the organization
. Rev. Renee McCoy of
Detroit , Mich igan , a former
Metropolitan Community
Church minister, and Rev.
Carl Beam, founder of the ·
Unity Fellowship in Los
Angeles will guide efforts to
beg in a nationwide network
of Unit y Fellows hip
Churches. The conference
was attended by over 450
Black Gays and Lesbians from
across the country. Formation
of the church was said to
have been the most significant
event of the conference.
The church, whose the111e is
"God is Love and Lo,:.e is
Everyone" will fill the need
for a pro-gay worship
experience closer to the
traditions and heritage of
the black community.
McCoy is the former
executive director of t he
National Coalition of Black
Lesbians and Gays . She
resigned from MCC in midFebruary
to begin work on a
Unity Fellowship Church in
Detroit.
Ministry's A Fraud, 1
Ex-Gay Co-Founders · Say
Two of the origina l founders
of Exodus Internationa l, a
network of ex-gay ministries,
denounced all such programs
during a recent interview
with Kurte Wolfe of the Gay
Broadcasting System.
Michael Bussee and Garry
Cooper left the program in
1979 after they discovered
that, despite years in the
program, their sex ual orientations
had rema i ned
unchanged. Bussee said he
counseled hundreds of people
who tried to change their
sexua l orientation but knows
of none who were successful.
Bussee ended years of
silence about the failure of
ex-gay programs after becoming
concerned about the rise of
Rev. Lou Sheldon's Coalition
for Traditional Values and
the "reparative therapy"
program promoted by crv.
"It doesn't work ," Bussee
told GBS.
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PERMIT No. 511
Religious conservatives want ii banned. The gay community says it's
free speech and safe sex. The multi-million dollar telephone sex
business - the phone bill's only part of the cost. Psychiatrists reveal
the hidden toll next lime in The Second Stone.
F1_9om The Editor '
Mailing List Secrecy A-Stubborn Obstacle
their mailing lists to secrecy and
therein lies the marketing nightmare
we've struggled with for two years .
Almost all of a publication's subscription
sales take place through a
direct mail appeal. Access to mailing
lists is critical to the success of a
subscriber-supported publication.
Leaders of national gay and lesbian
Christian organizations have sworn
We have asked groups for a
· one-time use of their tnailing lists to
send members a sample ·copy of The _
_ Second Stone in a plain envelope
Letters
Americus, Georgia
Habitat for Humanity
Says It Doesn't
Discriminate
Dear Second Stone,
This is in response to your article in
the January /February edition concerning
"A Giver's Guide." Millard
Fuller, Executive Director of Habitat
for Humanity, has asked me to . -
respond to you on his behalf. We
appreciate people sharing their
thoughts and concerns with us, as you
have, through your article, over the
issue of gay and lesbian hiring
practices of Habitat. We are hopeful
that you will give us the opportunity
to clear up the misunderstanding that
has occurred concerning Habitat's
hiring practices .
First, let me state that Habitat does
not discriminate in its hiring
decisions on the basis of sexual
orientation or preference . In _fact,
Habitat has employees who are
homosexual. In addition, Habitat
does not discriminate in its selection
of volunteers on the basis of sexual
orientation. The confusion has arisen
because of Habitat's policies with
respect to the sexual practices of its
employees and volunteers, both
heterosexual and homosexual.
The Other Side asked in its survey
whether the fact that someone was
openly gay or lesbian would in any
way affect our hiring or selecting of
that person, to which Millard Fuller
responded "yes". This response was
given because all _ volunteers who
serve at our Americus headquarters
individuals. The policy of celibacy
and fidelity helps to avoid conflict -
within the Habitat community. (For
the same reason, Habitat forbids
smoking in volunteer houses . )
Moreover, in the case of international
volunteers, the policy of celibacy and
fidelity is needed in order to avoid
offending the sensibilities of the
communities and cultures in which
Habitat serves . (Again , for the same
reasons, Habitat has policies which
restrict the consumption of alcohol
and tobacco - by international
volunteers.)
These policies are applied
uniformly to all Habitat volunteers,
both homosexual and heterosexual,
and all volunteers must be willing to
accept these policies . The paid staff
at · Habitat are urged to follow
similar rules . Millard's affirmative
response to the question posed by~
~ Side was not because of a
discriminatory policy regarding
sexual orientation, but because of
Habitat's policy · of celibacy for all
single volunteers and fidelity for all
married volunteers.
I would like to add that Habitat
does not ask its volunteers about their
sexual preferences or practices before
they come to volunteer in Americus
nor does Habitat try _ to "convert"
them to certain religious beliefs
while they are serving here . We
only ask that while they are here,
whether for three months, six
months, or a y ear, the volunteers
respect our policies . Also , please
understand that Habitat does not
seek to actively monitor people's
sexual behavior - far from it . When
Habitat does become aware that
with a letter stating that the paper
is sent compliments of the group who
owns the list . Since we have
committed not to copy the list, the
mailing would be no different than
receiving something from the group
itself :
whatever way possible .
Best regards.
In Christian partnership,
Karen L. Higgs
Executive Vice President
We welcome you to share your views,
opinions, feelings and experiences
In This Issue
FEATURES
COVER STORY
COLUMNS
FROM THE EDITOR
COMMENTARY
INNER PATHS
CLOSER LOOK
FAMILIES
1RAVEL
PARTING THOUGHT
DEPART1\1ENTS
LETTERS
NEWS BRIEFS
PEOPLE
We need to reach new readers · to
continue our success. I urge you to
contact your national leader on our
behalf. The 90' s won't hold much
promise if we're going to be too scared
to even meet each other.
with our re~ders. Send letters to: -
LEITERS, The Second Stone, P. 0.
Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
All letters must be original and
signed by the writer. Clearly
indicate if your name is to be
withheld. We_ reserve the right to
edit.
□-
Page9
Page2
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Page 13
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Page 15
Page.19
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, are expected to follow certain sexual
practices. During their time in
Americus, married volunteers are
expected to be faithful to their
marriage vows and single volunteers
are expected to be celibate. Similar
rules apply to our overseas
volunteers.
_ someone is violating · Habitat's rules,
we try to work with the individual to
see if he or_ she can continue as a
·volunteer within th e framework of
Habitat's polici es.
CHURCH & ORGANIZATION NEWS Page 11
The reasons for this policy are
many. First, the policy is rooted in
the Christian background of Habitat
for Humanity. In addition, it reflects
the practical concerns of any
volunteer organization. While in
Americus, volunteers live in group
houses with as many as twelve other
B
Finally, Jet me assure you that it is
the Board of Directors' firm policy to
comply with all applicable Jaws
regarding employment practices, and
we do not knowingly violate any such
laws .
I hope that this will alleviate any
concerns you may have about Habitat
and that your readership will be able
to continue to support Habitat in
CALENDAR
BOOK REVIEW
VIDEOS
ESSAY
CLASSIFIEDS
THE SECOND STONE ·
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Commentary □ Keeping The Best; Throwing Out The Rest
_Gay Couples -Redefine Traditional · Family
ByJimRoche
Contributing Writer
My teenage daughter finally asked
me the big question , "Are you and
David going to get married?" I said
we hoped to, pretty soon. We just
hadn't worked out all the details.
Then she asked, "Whose " going to
wear the dress?" I hear comments
like that all the time . When I speak
on gay issues at colleges and
universities someone inevitably asks.
me a similar question, like, "Well
who's, you know, dominant?" The
list of questions that would amuse you
goes on and on. Gays and Lesbians, it
seems, are a real mystery to most
people. What we do , how we act,
what we think and feel. But a more
important point ·is that so many ··
peop l e seem to think of a relationship
, gay or straight, as
something inherently unequal.
Opposites attract is the theory I
guess. And that's why so many gay
and lesbian people don 't want to
have anything to do with ma rriages
or weddings or anything similar.
Because it just seems to reflect the
ISSN No. 1047-3971
THE SECOND STONE Newspape r is
published every other month by Bailey
Communications, P. 0 . Box 8340, New
Orleans, LA 70182. Copyright 1990 by
The Second Stone, a registered trademark .
SUBSCRIPTIONS, U.S.A. $12.60 per
year, six issues. Foreign subscribers add
$8.00 for postage . All payments U. S .
currency only.
ADVERTISING, Display advertising
one time rates: Full Page, $595.00 ; Half
Page, $304.00 ; Quarter Page, $ 155.00;
Eighth Page, $81.00; Sixteenth Page,
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New Orleans, LA 70182 . Classified
advertising is 35 cents per word.
EDITORIAL, send letters, calendar
announcements, and church/orga nization
news to (Department title) The Second
Stone, P. 0. Box 8340, New Orleans , LA
70182. Manuscripts to be returned
should be accompan ied by a stamped, self
addressed envelope.
THE SECOND STONE, an ecumenical
Christian newspaper committed to
informing the gay and lesbian community.
PUBLISHER/EDITOR: Jim Bailey
MARKETING DIRECTOR: Eric Hess
CONTRIBUTORS: Rev Bruce Roller,
Rev Sylvia Pennington,
Cynthia Marquard, Danni Munson,
Dr. Martin Fowler, David Rickey,
Robert McKnigh~ Jim Roche,
Michael Blankenship, Dan Grippo,
Dr. Louie Crew , John-Michae l Olexy,
Dr. Buddy Truluck, Chris Glaser.
worst that heterosexual relation ships
have to offer - inequality and
oppression. So, why would two gay
men or two lesbian women want to
have anything to do with one of the
most oppressive and hierarchical
systems around?
As a couple there are certain things
that my lover David and I want to
share. Time together. Interests .
Friendships. We already share lots
of things, but because we're gay we
can't shar~ some things without a
hassle. Like health benefits. Legal
rights to belongings, property and so
on. If one of us were to become ill the
other might not be included in
choosing a ·doctor or hospital or
treatment. Those decisions might be
relegated to "immediate family
members." We might not even be
allowed to visit each other. More
immediately, I was hoping to take
college courses this summer, but can
David and I as a couple count on being
able to use married student housing at
any college I might go to? Or would
we, because we are gay, be forced to
live separately? In other words, if I
want to go away to -school and want
the same services as other students
get, I might not be able to get them.
For us going away to school as a
couple would be more difficult and
costly because we are gay.
Now there are legal ways around
most, but not all, of this. Wills,
powers of attorney and probate forms.
But after all is said and done it would
still be a relationship that is
legalized in spite of the community
we live in instead of with its help.
It's still second class citizenship no
matter how you look at it. Slowly we
are beginning to get our rights here
and there across the country. But
there is a growing number of people
who oppose our rights to state
sanctioned or church sanctioned
relationsh ips.
Why do they make life harder for
us because we're gay or lesbian?
What's threatening to people who
oppof,e actions like the San Francisco
domestic partnership act, church
recognition of gay relationships and
so on? They feel we gay and lesbian
couples threaten the "institution of
family." But how can we threaten
family because we want to be a
family? Sounds sort of crazy, doesn't
it? Our idea of family; one that
many gay and lesbian people accept,
is one that is in direct opposition to
the status quo. Traditionalists see
family as a pre -established pattern
into which each individual fits. In a
family you have and know your
place. First and foremost it's a male
dominated structure. Father -
breadwinner . Mother - caregiver.
Stereotypes? Yes, but those
stereotypes are what elected George
Bush and Ronald Reagan. People
voted for these guys because even if
the myth of the American Family
isn't true, they wanted it to be true .
No wimps here! Bush and Reagan
stand for the status quo definition of
family. And our concept of family,
the gay and lesbian concept, is one in
which we easily switch ro les and
often do it for what appears as no
other reason than fun. Taking this
lightly, as we sometimes do, is even
more upsetting to traditionalists . We
switch roles, we make up new ones
and we relate to each other from the
same role or no role at all. It's a
concept of family based upon
mutuality. Equality. Individuality.
Every day we break down those
hierarchical, male dominated
structures by the way we act and
interact together. Just by being equal
we threaten the basis of those
structures, testing the limits of sexual
identity and what sexual roles and
stereotypes have to offer. Gay
couples can be both masculine and
feminine. Same with lesbian couples .
We act like men, and we act like
women. Sometimes we act like
something in-between. We totally
destroy the boundaries that
traditionalists rely on to keep the
present system of "family" going .
We are a threat to the family . A
threat to its oppressive male oriented
foundation. But in spite of what
marriage and family has grown to
represent to many of us gay and
lesbian people, marriage, church
unions or domestic partnerships
demonstrate that we can keep the
best of relationships going while we
toss out what isn't 5>f any value. As
time goes · by and gay and lesbian
· relationships in all their different
forms are recognized by city and state
governments, churches and organizations
like the California Bar
Association, we will help redefine
marriage. Redefine relationship.
What I hope people will learn from
watching us is that we bring more to
relationships than the roles we are
supposed to play, or the clothes we're
supposed to wear.
A Presbyterian Promise
"We will work to increase the acceptance and
participation in the church of all persons regardless
of racial-ethnic origins, sex, class, age,
disability, marital status or sexual orientation"
- 195th General Assembly (1983),
Atlanta, Georgia ·
If this is your promise, too,
we invite you to join
Presbyterians for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns
Write to Elder James D. Anderson
PLGC, P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ
08903-0038, 201/846-1510
May/June 1990 D
Newsbriefs
Stendahl Rebuke d
By Lutheran Bis hop
Bishop Herbert W . Chilstrom of the
Evangelical Lutheran Chu _rch in
America has rebuked religion scholar
Dr. Krister Stendahl for his public
support of the ordinations of a gay
man and lesbian couple in San
Francisco. Stendahl is a retired
bishop of the Church of Sweden and
is chaplain at Harvard Divinity
School. Chilstrom rep ! oached
Stendahl for involving himself "in
the affairs of another church. "
-The Lutheran
Celebration '90
Festival Chorus
Seeks Singers
The Celebration '90 Festival Chorus,
scheduled to perform at the Opening
and Closing Ceremonies of the Gay
Games III in Vancouver, Canada, is
seeking singers.
The Chorus is open to Gays,
Lesbians, and their parents and
friends. Directors are striving for an
international mix in membership, as
well as a balance in voice-part and
gender.
There will be a registration fee of
$45 .00 which will cover the cost of
sheet music, rehearsal tapes , and
performance shirts . Other expenses -
trav el, lodging and food - will be the
individual's responsibility.
Th e Chorus has received
endorsement and support from the
Gay and Lesbian Association of
Chorus e s (GALA), the Celebration
'90 Board of Directors in Vancouver,
the Colorado Athletic Exchange, and
the Federation of Parents and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays . For organ izational
and financial purposes the
Celebration '90 Festival Chorus is a
special project of the Denver Chapter
of Parents FLAG.
Deadline for registration is June L
To register or for more information,
contact Celebration '90 Festival
Chorus, Box 61388, Denver, CO 80206
or call (303)331-2306.
Oasis Board Seeks
Executive Director
The Board of Directors of The Oasis,
a ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of
· Newark, New Jersey, with gay and
lesbian people, their families and
friends, is seeking a full time
I am with You
Fear Not!
(A Corrective Look
at the Lesbian and Gay
C lobb er Passages)
Professionally produced Video-tape
Audio-tape & Workbook
A new book by the Rm Bruce Roller
Pastor of Reconciliation MCC
Grand Rapids, MI
-~ c.p /'LI ,-,fl{/! THE MESSAGE OF _.{t{.I V .,.. c_/ RECONCILIATION
VHS Video (90 min.l $24.95
At.do Tape $5.00 • Workbook $5.00
Loving Osselves $6.95
Add 25% for shipping & handing.
Faithful Publications
P.O. Box 3701
Grand Rapids, MI 49501
Executiv e Director. Applicants mus t
be an o rdained Episco pal priest wi th
experi e nce w ith an d conn ection to the
lesbian and gay community both in
and ou t side the chur ch and have a
positi v e understand ing of gay and
le sbian sexuality.
Interested persons may respond to:
Se arch Committee, Box 101,
Roseland, NJ 0 7068. A ll responses
will be confidenti al within the
Board of Directors.
'Honesty' Chapter
Formed In Texas
FORT WORTH, Tex. - Gay Southern
Baptists here have formed a local
chapter of Honesty , a group started
in Louisville, Kentucky, last year to
seek equal treatment and equal rights
in church and society for gay, lesbian
and bisexual persons. .Group
spokesperson David Reed said, "We
would like to see full integration of
Gays and Lesbians into all aspects of
church life, including ordination."
Reed holds a MDiv from Southwestern
Baptist Theological
Seminary in Fort Wor'.h ,
"There are gay people · at the
seminary right now, but they are
having to live a very cloistered life,"
Reed said. "Some are living
irresponsible lives because they can't
be celibate ."
- Western Rec~rder
Tulane Law School
Starts National Gay
Legal Journal
NEW ORLEANS, La. - Students at
Tulane Law School have announced
the publication of a new national
journ al entitled Law & Sexuality: A
Review of Lesbi an and Gay Legal
illYtl• The publication is the first
law journal in the country to focus
exclusively on homosexuality and the
law. The publishers say it is
especially exciting to have such a
journal started in Louisiana, which
has the harshest sodomy statute in
the country and no sexual orientation
nondiscrimination statutes at the
local level.
The major purpose of the journal is to
keep the community informed of legal
developments in the area of lesbian
and gay rights, as well as to
encourage more creativity in
analyzing these issues. Law &
Sexuality will include theoretical
and practical articles by academics
and practitioners, as well as a large
"recent developments" section written
by students. The journal will be
p 'ublished initially on a yearly basis,
II TH E SECOND STONE
□ wit h the intent of expanding to a
more frequent basi s in the future . Th e
first issue w ill be published in June of
1991. -
Tulane Law Sch ool has commi tted
$6000.00 toward getting the journal
off · the ground, an amount roughly
half of what i s ne cessary . Th e
students are committed to raisin g the
additional funding through a
nationwide appeal to members of the
lesbian and gay community.
For information about Law &
Sexuality contact Nicki McCraw o r
Joyce Cain at (504)865-5970. For
subscription information, or to make a
contribution, contact Catherine
Hancock, Law & Sexuality, Tulan _e
Law School, 6801 Freret St., New
Orleans, LA 70118.
TWA Gay Rights
Claim Settled
SAN FRANCISCO - On the eve of
filing a lawsuit over gay couples '
rights against Trans World Airlines,
Inc. (TWA) in the Superior Court of
California, ·. National Gay Rights
Advocates (NGRA) and its cooperating
attorneys, Raymond Wheeler
and Anne Zinkin of the prestigious
San Francisco Jaw firm of Morrison &
Foerster, reached a settlement of the
dispute.
The case against TWA arose out of
the airline's initial denial of a
refund to a gay m·an under its family
emergency guidelines. The would-be
plaintiff, Tony A. Hurd of San
Francis co, had . purchased a nonrefundable,
super-saver roundtrip
ticket from TWA. On the day that
Hurd was to travel, his partner of
eleven years, Joel Gerughty, had a
heart attack and was hosptialized.
As a result, Mr. Hurd cancelled his
planned trip.
TWA normally grants refunds of
non-refundable or special fare tickets
which are not used because of a
family emergency . When Hurd
wrote tb TWA asking for a refund on
the grounds that he had cancelled
the trip because of a family
emergency he was initially denied
such a refund ,
In response to NGRA's demand,
TWA tendered a full refund to Hurd
and a letter of apology for the delay
in processing the request. Writing on
behalf of TWA, its senior vicepresident
and general counsel Mark
A. Buckstein indicated that future
determination of who constitutes
immediate family will be based on an
evaluation of facts and circumstances
of each situation. The company will
not discriminaie against gay couples
if the circumstances otherwise merit
a refund.
Newsbriefs
Gallup: Sex-related
Issues Most Important
Facing Church
Pollster George Gallup Jr. said in an
interview with Christianity Today
that "sex-related issues are going to
be among the most important issues
facing all churches in the foreseeable
future . Abortion, AIDS, premarital
sex, homosexuality, all those are all
going to be at the vortex of the
problems confronting all churches."
-Religion Watch
Campus Violence
Topic Of Newsletter
WASHINGTON, D.C. The
National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force's Campus Project has published
a newsletter that addresses the
pervasive problem of anti-gay and
lesbian violence, harassment and
defamation at U.S. colleges and
universities.
Titled "Organizing for Equality,"
the NGL TF provides a background on
campus violence and harassment and
itemizes examples of atta cks, graffiti,
arson and death threats against
gay and lesbian students. The
newsletter also provides strategies
for stopping anti-gay violence and
profiles organizing efforts at select
campuses.
Copies of the newsletter and
strategies for fighting back are
available for $1.00 from NGLTF, 1517
U St. NW, Washington, DC 20009,
Attention: Campus Project or call
(202)332-64{33.
Alabam\ 'Episcopalians
Rej~t
Ordination {)f Gays
The Episcopal Dioces~ of Alabama
passed a resolution con~mning ordination
of gays to the pri~hood. A ·
resolution barring discrf~ination
against persons with AID~ also
passed.
-Alabama Forum
General Motors,
Chrysler Cars For
Heterosexuals
General Motors has adopted a policy
of not advertising on television shows
that portray Gays and Lesbians,
according to th e Gay & Lesbian
Alliance Against Defamation .
GLAAD is also angry with Dodge
over a new print ad for the
Ramcharger 4X4 truck, which says
the rough truck can't deal with
pansies . GLAAD urges expression of
□ op1mon to Chairman Roger Smith,
General Motors, 3044 W. Grand Blvd.,
Detroit, MI 48202 and (about the
Ramcharger advertising) to J. L.
Hickey, Manager, Corporate
Advertising, Chrysler Motors, 12000
Chrysler Dr., Highland Park, MI
48920; ''
"Woodies" Changes
Policy To Include
Same-Sex Couples
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following
negotiations with the Gay and
Lesbian Activist Alliance (GLAA),
the National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force (NGLTF) and other gay rights
groups, Woodward and Lothrop
Department Stores (Woodies) agreed
to grant discount cards to the partners
of both gay and non-gay employees,
add "sexual orientation" and marital
status " to its Equal Opportunity
policy, and said it would advocate
for similar benefits elsewhere in the
retail industry.
Great
~esponse!
Last December, Woodward and
Lothrop denied gay sales clerk Duane
Rinde a spouse discount card for his
lover, Robert Teir, based on marital
status.
"Woodies agreement to change its
policy to one of inclusion of its entire
workforce is a breakthrough for the
recognition of lesbian and gay
relationships and the diversity of
American family life," said Ivy
Young, NGLTF Families Project
Director.
"The central issue was more than
just shopping discounts," said Young.
"When black students sat down at the
· Woolworth ' s lunch counter in the
early days of the civil rights
movement, the issue was not hamburgers
and fries . Well, this struggle
with Woodies was not about their
white sale, it was about gay and
lesbian equality and fairness ."
Joining GLAA and NGLTF in
pressuring the parent company to
change its policy were the
Alexandria Gay Community Association,
Arlington Gay & Lesbian
Alliance; Human Rights Campaign
Fund and the Gertrude Stein
Democratic Club.
"Frankly, I believe Woodies - in
addition to wanting to do the right
thing - realized there are thousands
of gay and lesbian consumers who
shop and work at their stores ," said
Robert Bray, NGI::'I'F public
information director. " "It was in
their best interest to be on the good
side of gay economic clout."
May/June 1990
\ '' 'Ihat's what a Second Stone advertiser
tokl us recently.
And we hear that more and more these days. 1bat's because
The Second Stone reaches readers where many other gay and
lesbian publications can't. Like public and university libraries.
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SECOND STONE
You'll be pleased with the results.
Call I-504-949-5625 for advertising assistance.
II
Newsbriefs
Bishops Say Gay
Ordinations
Threaten Lutheran
Church Unity
Bishops of the Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America adopted a
"pastoral statement regarding the
unity of the church" with regard to
pastors and associates who
participated in the ordinations of
three openly gay pastors .
The statement read, in part, "As
bishops of the ELCA, we are deeply
distressed over the challenge to the
unity of this church that has been
posed by those who have recently
engaged in the irregular ordinations
of urtapproved candidates in San
Francisco."
-The Lutheran
NGLTF Director
Challenges Bush
During Speech
WASHINGTON, D .C. - President
George Bush's first major address on
the AIDS health crisis was
interrupted by Urvashi Vaid,
executive director of the National
Gay and Lesbian Task Force, who ·
stood up during the presentation and
urged the President to do more for
people with AIDS.
Bush spoke to a gathering of about
400 business and labor leaders at a
conference sponsored by the National
Leadership Coalition on AIDS held
at the Cystal City Gateway Marriot
Hotel just outside Washington.
During the speech, Vaid, who sat in
front of the President, stood and held
up a sign that read, "1:alk Is Cheap -
AIDS Funding Is Not" and
"Remember Gay People With AIDS."
Bush paused during his speech to
address Vaid, saying, "Let me say
something about this. I can
understand the concern that these
people feel. And I hope if we do
nothing else by coming here, I can
help them understand that not only
you care, but we care too."
After the speech Vfid sajd, "It is
commendable that the President
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mentioned anti-discrimination protections.
And his rhetoric was
certainly more compassionate than
anything former President Reagan
ever said ." ·
Survey Results:
Don't Show Gays
On Television
According to -National _II.
International Religion Report. 55
percent of American adults believe
that televisions scenes even suggesting,
though not actually showing,
homosexual ac !ivity should be cut.
The survey was featured in Parents
magazine and conducted through
random telephone interviews with
1,004 people.
-Religion Watch
Massachusetts'
Anti-Gay Foster
Care Policy
Reversed
Massachusetts Governor Michael
Dukakis announced on April 4 that
the state policy which effectively
banned Gays from becoming fost er
parents would be reversed. The new
state policy will no longer include
sexual orientation as a factor in the
placement of children in foster
homes.
David Lafontaine, lobbying
director of the Massachusetts Coalition
for Lesbian and Gay Civil
Rights, said, "This is an
extraordinary victory for direct
action groups and legal advocacy
groups alike who have protested this
discriminatory policy since 1985."
Right-wing Preacher
Portrayed In
Gay Soap Opera
WESTMINSTER, CA . - Secret
Passions, the new gay soap opera
being seen on cable systems across the
country, features an unpleasant
character named Rev. Arthur
Dimsdale based on the real life Rev.
Louis Sheldon , leader of the anti-gay
Traditional Values Coalition. The
American Family Association is
watching the gay soap closely. The
show's producer is David Gadberry.
-Outlines
Presbyterian Group
May Be Censured
Some commissioners to the General
Assembly of the Presbyterian
Church/USA are expected to offer
resolutions at a national church
gathering in Salt Lake City the week
of May 29 to censure Presbyterians for
Lesbian and Gay Concerns. An
overture being considered in the
presbytery of Detroit scolds PLGC for
handing out "non-Christian, secularly
.produced and PLGCendorsed -
brochures promoting homosexual
practices ... " The overture calls for
PLGC to be rebuked and directed to
refrain from distributing brochures
and any other "unwholesome ,
un-Christian" brochures at the
General Assembly, Synod, Presbytery,
and local church functions as
well as any public or private function
under the name PCUSA.
-More Light Update
Red-Neck Aussies
Get MCC
AUSTRALIA - The Metropolitan
Community Church has set up
worship in "red-neck country at
Dorroughby, near the New South
Wal e s township of Lismore, "
according to Outrage. In a press
release, MCC described Lismore as
"well-known for the anger and
intoleranc e shown to minority groups
- black Australians, Lesbians and gay
men . This area is sorely in n eed of a
chur ch which has the courage to
preach love and reconciliation, to
counter the hatred and divisivene ss
already evidenced," the group wrote.
The MCC may be reached at
011-61-66-895-105.
Pamphlets Available
for Lesbian and Gay
Youth
BOSTON, MA. - A unique and
affirmative series of pamphlets
designed for young people who are
questioning their sexual orientation is
now available. The two pamphlets,
entitled "I Think I Might Be A
Lesbian/I Thing I Might Be
Gay ... Now What Do I Do?" were
produced by the Campaign to End
_Homophobia, a national network of
people who work to end homophobia
through information· sharing and
education .
The pamphlets were designed by
two sexuality educators based on
thei r conversation with young
Lesbians and gay men; quotes from the
young people are sprinkled throughout
the text. The peer education
aspect is thought to be one of th e
leading factors in the success of th e
project.
Although there has been some
negative response from conservative ·
religious organizations, almost 100
THE SECOND STONE
□ other organizations have requested
permission to reprint the pamphlets
for distribution.
For more information on the
Campaign to End Homophobia, or for
copies of the pamphlets, contact
Cooper Thompson at (617)868-8280.
Sherre Boothman
Tapes Available
Faithful Publications has announced
the release of a four audio tape album
featuring the preaching/teaching of
the Rev. Dr. Sherre Boothman,
President of Samaritan College in Los
Angeles . . The .,ninety minute tapes
include five complete sermons and the
highlights of a workshop on Roots of
Homophobia and Misogyny in
Western Christian Tradition . The
tapes were recorded live in Spiritual
Renewal at Reconciliation MCC in
Grand Rapids, Michigan . The set is
available for $12.95 plus $3.00
postage and handling from Faithful
Publications , P. 0. Box 3701, Grand
Rapids, Ml 49501. Rev . Boothman
has designated her royalties on the
album to Samarit an College.
Gay/Lesbian
Literature Catalog
Announced
Elysian Fields Booksellers has
announced the release of their 39th
catalog containing fifty pages of over
1600 works listed by subject, author
and title. Copies of the catalog are
available for $2.00 from 80-50 Baxter
Ave., Ste. 339, Elmhurst, NY 11373.
Encyclopedia of
Homosexuality
Published
NEW YORK - The Encyclopedia of
Homosexuality, the first reference
work to bring together, summarize,
interrelate, and synthesize all of the
past and present scholarship on the
subject, has been released. Coverage
includes male and female sexuality
and reaches beyond questions of
physical sexuality to examine the
effects of hemophilia and homophobia
on literature, art, religion ,
science, law, philosophy, society,
history, and virtually every field of
human endeavor.
Edited by Wayne R. Dynes, Hunter
College, City University of New
York, the Encyclopedia is interdisciplinary,
transhistorical, and
cross-cultural. It is available from
Garland Publishing , 136 Madison
Ave., New York, NY 10016, (212)
686-7492.
Newsbriefs
Republican Woman
Suspended From
Church Duties
HARRISBURG, PA - Rosemary
McAvoy, a Republican candidate for
the House of Representati ves in the
Pennsylvania legislature, says she
has been suspended from two
leadership positions in the Roman
Catholic congregation she attends
because she supports abortion rights .
Monsi gnor Leo A. Beierschmitt,
pastor of St. Catherine Laboure
Parish in Harrisburg, told McAvoy in
a lett e r that he was suspending her
from her posts as head of the parish
school board and as church lector, or
reader, "until we reach reso lution of
th e matter ." ·
McAvoy said , "I got a strong
indication that they would have
preferred that I change my stance on
abortion or just don 't run ."
-Baltimore Alternative
U.K. Nuns
Distribute Condoms
As part of last year's World AIDS
Day, two nuns from the Community of
St. John the Divine helped hand out
condoms in England. Sisters Monica
and Iona said, "We are here because
we a r e human beings _caring for other
human beings . W e believe in the
whole ministry of healing and we
don ' t discriminate again s t anyone."
-Outlines
International
Community Invited
To Celebrate Life In
The Midst Of AIDS
SAN FRANCISCO - A unique
interfa i th event will be held here for
the delegates of the Sixth International
C o nference on AIDS and the
larg e r community . To be held at 8:00
p .m . on June 21 in Grace Cathedral,
"A Celebration of Life", sponsored by
Th e San Francisco Interreligious
Coalition on AIDS and the Episcopal
Diocese of California's Commi s sion
on AIDS, will allow people to affirm
the resilience of life in the H IV
epidemic.
Weav ing togeth er stor ies and mu sic
from a var iety of sp iritu al traditions,
th e p rog ra m will be par ticip a tory
and int eractive . "We hop e that this
w ill pro vide an o pportunity to heal
so me of the rifts ca used by the highly
polit ica l · a tmo s phere aro und this
d is eas e," sa id Bob N elso n, chai r of
the Coali tion , "We i nten d that this
will b ring toge th er m e dical
pers onn el, a cti vi sts, ser vic e providers,
and people with HIV from
around the world in a positive, life
affirming way ."
The location is served by public
tr ansit and is handicapp ed acces sible
. The service will be signed for
the hearing-impaired .
Artists Sought For
Pride Week Show
Artists are wanted for Omaha, .
Nebraska's Gay and Lesbian only art
show to be held during Gay and
Lesbian pride week, June 17-23. Art
(any media) must be gallery quality.
For details and submission information
contact TryANGLE Art Show,
P. 0 . Box 3512, Omaha, NE 68103,
(402)345-0279
New Toll Free
Number Helps Gays
Who Are Moving
A toll free number has been
established to provide free and
confidential information to Gays and
Lesbians who are relocating . Callers
will be referr ed to a Realtor familiar
with th e local gay community in any
particular metropolitan area. The
number, 1-800-673-9093, will be
operational every day from 8:00 a.m.
to 11:00 p .m., EST. .
Artist Keith Haring
Dead At 31
Keith Haring, the N ew York graffiti
artist who went so far a s to open his
own store, The Pop Shop, to sell tee
shirts ; post ers, buttons and jackets
which carried his own style of
images , died February 16th at his
Manhattan home of AIDS related
illnesses .
Haring, who for the past few years
had m a de si g nificant contributions to
AIDS related activist groups, began
his car eer by drawin g his cartoon like
char a cters _on blank ·subwa y
posterboard s. At 19 he fled his
hom etow n o f Kutzt o wn, Penn ., and
mo ve d to N ew York's East Villag e.
There he bec ame a reg ular fixture in
that n eig hborh o od' s art and gay
subcultur es . Along w ith Jean-Mich el
Basqui a te, ano ther g ra ffiti artist , ·he
breach ed the w all bet wee n th e
subc ultures o f the Eas t Village world
of dru gs , t he at re , p olitic s,
av an t-garde art and commer cia lis m.
A ft e r being arrested for defa cing
p ub lic property wh ile pa intin g a
s ub way work he began to quic k ly
mo ve up in the art wor ld. H is wo r k
incl uded posters aga inst crack and
ones promoting city read ing programs
fo r children . He painted
deteriorating school buildings with
stud ents · and put up a major work on
the Berlin wall. During the past few
years his work took on the task of
educating peopl e about HIV . His
images are now seen on everything
from tee shirts to magazine ads.
About the commercialization of his
art he said, "If commercialization is
putting my art on a shirt so that a kid
wh o can't afford a $30,000 painting
can buy one , then I'm for it ."
Pittsburgh City
Council Approves
Gay Rights
Amendment
Pittsburgh's City Council approved
an amendment to the city code which
would add Lesbians and Gays as a
prot e cted class regarding discrimination
in employment, ho using, and ·
public accommodations . Pittsburgh
joins Philadelphia and Harrisburg,
Penn ., and nearl y 60 other cities
which h a ve legislation prot e cting
the civil rights of lesbian/gay
citizens .
The bill had failed by a 4-4 vote in
1988. In the council election since
that vbte, three of the four members
who voted in favor of the amendment
in 1988 were returned to o ffice, while
only one of the four who voted
ag a inst the 1988 amendment was
returned to office .
May/J un e 1990
□ Western Union
Loses Gay Account
The Huinan Rights Campaign Fund
(HRCF) has announced that it will no
longer use Western Union to deliver
"Speak Out" constituent messages to
Capitol Hill, a decision that will
cost the communications firm $350,000
this year .
Armand Ertag, a Western Union
employee in San Francisco, sought
damages against the company for
harassment and intimidation he
experienced at work . Rather than
address the specific allegations in
Ertag's suit, Western Union has
sought to have the gay rights
ordinance overturned .
,.
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Dignity/USA Calls Oi, American
Catholic Bishops To Dialogue
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Dignity/
USA, an organization of gay and
lesbian Catholics with 4200 members
in 90 chapters nationwide, has called
on the American Catholic Bishops to
dialogue on issues of grave concern
such as AIDS ministry, civil rights,
anti-gay violence, sexism, prejudice
and homophobia.
The invitation comes in the wake of
yet another eviction of a Dignity
chapter - this time by the president
of the National Conference of
Catholic Bishops, Archbishop
Daniel E. Pilarczyk. Over the past
several years, almost 90% of Dignity
chapters have been banned from
worshiping on church property.
In an open letter to Archbishop
Pilarczyk, Dignity /USA president
Pat Roche noted that it was
especially troubling when the
Archbishop "recently started out the
new decade with one more in a series
of ongoing evictions of Dignity
chapters 'by evicting a chapter in his
own Archdiocese in the name of
"doctrinal consistency." Roche noted
that Archbishop Pilarczyk evicted
the chapter from their place of
worship despite the fact that the
chapter had sent him copies of two
documents which call for a
reconciliation between church
leaders and gay and lesbian
Catholics, a Call for Dialo&ue
which was approved at Dignity's
20th anniversary convention in San_
Francisco last fall and a Letter on
Pastoral Care of Gay and Lesbian
Persons, which outlines Dignity's
positions on a variety of issues of
importance to Gays and Lesbians.
Roche noted that "at a time when
many of our members are· dying of
AIDS, others are being victimized by
anti-gay violence and still others are
being denied their basic civil rights,
Church leaders continue to focus on
the issue of sexual acts rather than on
the dignity of human persons." He
said that the bishops are "seemingly
unable or unwilling to recognize the
incredible pain and suffering this
narrow vision is causing."
In addition to chapters across the
country, Dignity /USA has a national
office in Washington, D.C. For
information contact Dignity /USA,
1500 Massachusetts Avenue NW,
Suite 11, Washington, DC 20005 or
call (202)861-0017.
Beal Video Limited
Artists involved with ' ·
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Common Threads:
Stories from the Quilt 1 Academy Award 1989
Best Documentary Feature .....
Narrated by Dustin Hoffman
Music by Bobby McFerrin
One of the most acclaimed of recent
documentaries, Common Threads presents
profiles of five individuals whose stories reflect
the diversity and common tragedy of those
who have died of AIDS. The film celebrates
their unique personalities ·and achievements,
interweaving these personal histories with an
objective , yet pointed, chrono logy of the
epidemic's development.
Directed by Robert Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman
Produced by Bill Couturie & Robert Epste in
& Jeffrey Friedman
85 minutes Color 1989
Personal Copy $49.95
/Profits donated to the NAMES Project Foundation)
For more information, write, phone or fax:
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and Robert Epstein
58 minutes Color 1986
Personal Copy $39.95
Who Happen -{;/ ~~
to be Gay ~ij - Emmy Award '. LESBIAN & GAY
Six professionals dis- 1 PSYCHOTHERAPISIB
cuss their decisions to I■- "•
lead openly gay lives and how this has affected
their relationships with family, friends
and colleagues.
A film by Dale Beldin and Mark Krenzien
23 minutes Color 1979
Personal Copy $29 .95
To place a credit card order ,
call (213) 396-4774 .
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cinema. 0
llmlted
THE SECOND STONE
Hug Your Dragon
Once, midway in my journey
A dragon appeared within my sight.
Fearful, I took flight
And when I returned at dawn
he was there again, With weapons drawn.
Each time I looked into his menacing ei;es
He grew in even greater size.
We stood there both in battle array
Ready for the final fray:
For we had long warred with one another
A cruel war - brother against brother.
Long had he romped through my blood
Emptying raw anger in a fiery flood
Through my guts, my feet, my finger tips,
My brain and ears and tightened lips.
I tracked him north and south
From East and West
Unsuccessfully.
And now he stood before my eyes
Geared to grab his treasured prize.
Forward I moved with tentative pace
Resolved to meet him face to face.
And as I moved in fitful fright
A miracle took place before my sight:
With every step I took
The dragon shrank another fool.
Fear, anger and raw rage
Flew from my imprisoned cage.
Our arms reached out in warm embrace
And smiles wreathed our happi; face.
Brother had discovered brother
And we were foseph to one another.
And as he held me wannly near
He whispered in my ear:
"I am you and you are me:
Once imprisoned, we both are free.
Let us hug each other tight
Not in darkness but in the light."
-JG
Heaven' Serenade
Jusi as
the strings of a harp
must first surrnder
to the skilled hands
of its master
before it can send forth
· the beautiful music
that is its heritage and purpose ..
Love
that is the offspring
of two enchanted souls
must surrender
to the divine will of God
bcfo.-e it can reach
oneness and melody
with the pure song
of heaven ...
Otherwise
there will only be
discord, disharmony
and confused sounds.
-E.Diaz
E. Diaz is a 31 year old inmate serving a life
term at Florida State Prison. 'Hug Your Dragon'
reprinted from 'Communication' newsletter.
.. • •
Cover Story □ 'Mom Forever Sad' Because Of 'Lost' Lesbian Daughter
Abby Recommends . P~FLAG
By Jim Bailey
Editor
Thousands of parents
across the country will be
spending Mother's Day
and Father's Day for the
first time with the knowledge
that their son or
daughter is gay. For some,
the celebrations in their
honor will be as joyous as
ever, but for other parents
the days will be filled with
anger, guilt, denial and
anguish.
addition to providing this mother
with some accurate information about
homosexuality, Abby recommended
she get in touch with a group called
the Federation of Parents and Friends
of Lesbians and Gays. By the end of
the next week, P-FLAG had received
over 3000 letters from mothers and
fathers.
P-FLAG was formed in 1982 by
parents of Lesbia~s and Gays who
had come together to creat .e a
national structure for the growing
number of counseling and support
groups for parents of Gays. The
Federation now has over 200 local
chapters and contacts in all 50 states.
Its purpose is to help parents, friends
and other family members of Lesbians
and Gays maintain loving relationships.
children. It is through · the work of
local chapters that the three broad
goals of P-FLAG are attempted:
building bridges between family
members, educating society in an
effort to offer accurate information
about homosexuality and reducing all
forms of discrimination.
Although many parents con\inue to
have a difficult time dealing with
the homosexuality of their offspring,
the focus in recent years has shifted
to a fear and concern for the health of
their children . P-FLAG's job has been
furthur complicated by the AIDS
crisis and now chapters must
constantly contend with the sorrow
and pain of many parents who have
children with AIDS.
and daughters to its increasing
political role of lobbying for gay
rights, additional AIDS funding and
anti-violence measures, P-FLAG's
unique function is growing in
importance and impact.
P-FLAG President Paulette
Goodman, in accepting a humanitarian
award from New York's
Human Rights Campaign Fund said,
"I want to .see justice . I want to see
equality in my lifetime," as she
called for increased efforts to
mobilize the estimated 50 million
parents of gay and lesbian Americans.
"Society has to listen to mothers and
fathers who speak out on behalf of
their children," she said.
Through participation in local
P-FLAG chapters, more and more
parents are finding resolution to
sometimes years long conflicts.
"Memberships in our Federation
continue to arrive," Goodman says. "It
looks like we are growing nicely."
A despairing mother wrote
Dear Abby that she had "lost" her
only daughter when a friend from
college called to tell her that her
daughter was a · Lesbian . "Mom
Forever Sad" had unwittingly sent
her daughter off to a "college
nicknamed 'Lesbian U'"where she
had quickly forgotten about her
childhood sweetheart and "bonded"
with the other girls there. In
Group chapters provide individual
c~unseling and regular support group
meetings. They also serve as a
liaison to their communities,
churches and synagogues, civic
organizations and the government to
make them aware that there are
parents of gay people wh~ support
and seek equal . justice for their_
The group recently launched the
Family Aid Project, a national AIDS
program providing a nationwide
network to connect family members
with emotional and other support
services . The project was awarded a
$25,000 grant from the Public
Welfare Foundation.
From its most basic role of helping
restore love and resolve conflicts .
between parents and their gay sons
For information on P-FLAG send a
large, se lf-addres sed, stamped ( 45
cents) envelope to: Family Chapter
and Support Office, P.O. Box 20308,
Denver , CO 80220.
COVER
STORY
From Pagel
"It was totally unexpected.
My first reaction was to
say, 'We'll help you get
counseling."'
Three weeks later,
Lewallen had abdominal
surgery and, during her
recovery, received a visit
from the wife of her church
bishop . . By that point
feeling the need to talk
about her daughter, she
confided in her visitor.
More fortunate than
parents who are never able
to discus s or resolve their
private ·turmoil, Lewallen
learned ear ly that being
able to seek and share
support was the beginning
of accepting and loving a
gay son or daughter. The
bishop's wife told
Lewallen that she too had
a gay son. "It created a
bond between us," Lewallen
said. "I had someone to
talk to."
Two years lat er, at a
Methodist Church Convention,
Lewallen reached
another milestone when
she gathered the courage to .
reveal to a group meeting
her daughter's homosexuality.
"I stepped in,
trying at first not to be
noticed, and ending up
telling the group I was the
mother of a Lesbian. I
started to cry. The women
in the room were wonderful,
supportive and war!fl," she
said . It was the beginning
of a transformation for
Lewallen. She was seeing
her personal grief tum into
a concern for the pain and
injustice that Gays and
Lesbians experience. She
saw firsthand the repression
of the closet.
"As a gay person comes out
to parents," she said, "all
of a sudden, like a rush of
mighty wind, the door is
slammed and it is the
parents Who are now in the
closet."
During Lewallen's cancer
surgery in 1981, her brother
and his wife came to
Colorado and stayed at
Lewallen 's home . She had
asked someone to "de-gay"
th e house because her
visitors knew nothing about
her son or daughter. The
Gay and Lesbian Community
Center Cookbook was
overlooked, however, and
daughter Janet's recipes
were featured prominently
throughout. Lewallen's
brother and his wife later
asked about Janet's
participation in the cookbook.
The days of hiding
were coming to an end .
Lewallen saw an ad in th e
newspaper for Parents and
Friends of Lesbian and
Gays, P-FLAG, and went to
a meeting which she
described as a "tremendous
experience."
"I met a young woman who
had been fired by her
church for being a Lesbian.
I was struck by the injustice
of it - here was this church
missing out on th i s
wonderful person . Her
May/June 1990
story helped me move out of
my pain and get involved."
It wasn't long before
Lewallen was going on
speaking engagements for
P-FLAG and in 1982 she
went to her first P-FLAG
national convention, where
she was elected to the
board. By 1988, ·she was
national president of
P-FLAG. She appeared on
Sally Jesse Raphael and
was appointed · to the
United Methodist Annual
Conference Task Force on
AIDS Ministries .
· Lewallen said, "Who
would have thought a
post-war bride of the 40's,
along with her husband,
contributing four children,
two of whom happen to be
gay, to the Baby Boom in
the Fifties, giving her
energies in the Sixties to
being a Cub Scout Den
Mother, a Brownie Troop
Leader, as well as a
faithful member of three
PTA's . simultaneous ly, and
at the same time an active
Christian leader in her
church, ·would be marching
in the late Eighties for
what is indeed the
simplest message in the
world ... our children, as
created, and nourished, are
accepted, loved, indeed
cherished."
Tom and Elinor Kirby
Lewallen have two other
sons who are very accepting
of Janet and Tommy. "One
year Tommy brought his
lover home for Christmas,"
said Lewallen. "The whole
family felt comfortable.
All are welcome at our
Christmas table."
Lewallen stepped down as
president of P-FLAG but,
even though now in her
70's, continues to speak for
the group.
Tom Lewallen is currently
on the national board of
P-FLAG and is president of
. the Denv.er chapter . He
has been supportive of his
wife's activities and
accompanies her on speak ing
engagements. "There
SEE COVER STORY, Page 15
People
Leo Treadway
Twin City Teens
Have A Frie ,nd Indeed
Growing up in New Jersey
in the 1950's, Leo
Treadway knew the pain
of being gay, alone and
isolated. And now
Treadway, Ministry
Associate of St.
Paul-Reformation
Lutheran Church (ELCA),
St. Paul, Minnesota, works
tirelessly to save young
people fromfeeling the
desperate loneliness of
being a gay or lesbian
teenager with no one to
turn to.
Treadway and other concerned
colleagues have established gathering
places for lesbian and gay youth
in St Paul and Minneapolis. Through
their participation in "Lesbian and
Gay Youth Together" or "Teen Age
Gays of Saint Paul", young people
have a safe place to talk things over,
to find support and encouragement,
and to meet friends.
Trcadway 's work was widely
recognized last year when he chosen
to receive the McKnight Foundation
Award.
"I was amazed to be nominated, and
even more surprised to actually
receive the award," he said. "That
award, specifically for my work with
gay and lesbian teenagers, is pretty
much a break through for our
community."
What can you do?
Your best friend
has just told you,
"I'm gay."
;; ~f!<')
~ ' .- ;
-ffL~OUfr~.-u . -• •
II' YOU WANr MORE IHFORltlATIOH
HF.l. Pl.lr,IE 122-8661
H;lpline poster developed for
gay and lesbian teenagers.
Treadway was one of ten recipients
of the award, given since 1985 to
Minnesotans who arc making significant
contributions to the human
services . . Almost 200 people were
nominated.
In nominating Treadway for the
award, Linda Dahlen, Co-President
of St. Paul Reformation Church, said
that Treadway had "spent countless
hours counseling and giving emotional
and spiritual support for young
people who arc dealing with very
painful issues. For over thre e years,
every Sunday, he and other adults
have met with gay youth to provide
support and act as a positive role
model and resource person. Many gay
youth are kicked out by their
families when . they reveal their
orientation ... Leo has personally kept
many off the streets."
Paul A. Tidcmann, Pastor of St.
Paul-Reformation called Treadway
"an amazingly compassionate person
in his ministry with all sorts of
people, not the least of which have
been lesbian and gay youth."
Treadway has been active in peace
and justice issues for over 15 years,
serving as Chair of the Minnesota
AIDS Quilt Project, a member of the
Gay and Lesbian Community Action
Council and a member of the
Governor's Task Force on Hate
Crimes. He has also affected the
lives of young people by acting as a
counsultant to the Minnesota
Department of Education in developing
its programs for "students at
risk".
"It takes a considerable amount of
courage to be an openly gay man in our
society," Dahlen said . "Because of
the work Leo does, criticism and even
_ death threats have been rec eived by
anonymous callers."
Of his days growing up in New
Jersey, Treadway said in an
interview last year with Twin Citi es
GAZE reporter Robert Jacobson that
there "was only one kid in my town
who was rumored to be queer, and of
course, I was too scared to go within
ten miles of him.
Treadway concealed his feelings
through school, the army and even a
marriage before moving to the Twin
Cities in 1975 to begin his life fully as
a gay man. In 1982, he founded the
Wingspan Ministry of St. Paul
Reformation Church, a ministry of
□
LEO TREADWAY ... and friend
support for gay and lesbian Lutherans
who .have experienced neglect or
outright rejection at the hands of the
church . Wingspan creates a bridge
for those who want to return to the
•. 617( ~/N
OAIR O'
I
,.
·- . -~ ..
... from the Lesbian & Gay
Youth Together brochure .
church and spans the gap between
gay and non-gay persons and
communities . ·
In accepting the McKnight
Foundation Award Treadway said,
"Even five years ago, I think that
working with gay and lesbian
teenagers would not have been
·happening in this area. But I think
_the tide is turning today, and it is in
part due to the efforts by many
individuals, far beyond myself,
whose love and support relieves
teenagers, who have begun to work
small miracles in our churches, in our
schools, and our broader community."
It is said that Leo Treadway tends to
fuss, by nature, and is seldom content
with things the way they are. He
lives in St. Paul with his two cats,
Squeaker and Kohlrabi.
Gay & Le.sbian Community Action
Helpline: (612)379-6390
THE SECOND STONE
Church · & Organization News
Ordination of
Women Focus of
Conference
An international grassroots movement
of women and men committed to the
ordination of Roman Catholic women
to a renewed priestly ministry has
taken shape. The Women·s Ordina tion
Conference is made up of women
and men who believe that the
Church. in fidelity to its Gospel
mission, must be equally open to the
full participation of women and men
in its ministries. The group publishes
a bi-monthly newsletter, sponsors
workshops, seminars, conferences and.
think-tanks on local, regional and
national levels and operates a
clearinghouse of research and
information. For information write to
WOC, P.O. Box 2693, Fairfax, VA
22031-2693 or call' (703)352-1006.
New Kinship
Chapter For
Dallas/Fort Worth
A new active chapter of Seventh-day
Adventist Kinship International has
formed in the Dallas/Fort Worth
area . The chapter is the result of the
groundwork of Floyd Poenitz and
David Morris . For information on
being part of this group contact Floyd
Poenitz, P.O. Box 38454, Dallas, TX
75238 or call (214)373-8484.
Tucson Church
To Host NGPA
Co-founder
Rev . William H. Carey, co-founder
and presbyter of the National Gay
Pentecostal Alliance, will be guest
preacher at Casa De La Paloma
Apostolic Church in Tuscon, Arizona,
on July 1st for morning and evening
worship.
The National Gay Pentecostal
Alliance, headquartered in Schenectady,
New York, was founded in
1980. Its various departments operate
an audio tape ministry, a
correspondence Bible school for
ministerial training, and foreign
missions in Akwa !born State,
Nigeria.
Casa De La Paloma Apostolic
Church is :i member of NGPA. It is
pastored by NGPA West Central
District Elder, Rev. Sandy Lewis . For
more information contact Rev. Lewis
at Casa De La Paloma Church, P.O.
Box 14003. Tucson , AZ 85732-4003 or
call (602)323-6855. NGP A may b e
reached at P.O. Box 1391,
Schenectady, . NY 12301-1391 or
(518)372-6001.
SDA Kinship Seeks
Recipes For AIDS
Benefit Cookbook
Seventh-day Adventist Kinship
International is developing a cookbook
to raise money for the Kinship
AIDS Fund . Michael McLaughlin
and Hal Jobe are coordinating the
project. Vegetarian recipes are
sought, as well as chicken, fish and
beef dishes. The book is geared
toward cooking dishes for two or
three people that are quick and easy
to prepare. Send your favorite recipes
to: Hal Jobe, c/o Kulinary Komer P.O.
Box 5049, Montclair , CA 91763.
Phone Home, Says
Restoration Church
SAN DIEGO - The Restoration
Church of Jesus Christ, a small
pro-gay sect of Mormonism, has
announced a new "800 Line Ministry"
for Gays and Lesbians. Elder Rand
Laurent of the church·s Quorum of the
Twelve said in a press release that
"the purpose of this line is to reach
out to religiously disenfranchised
people who have been rejected from
their own denomination for any
reason and allow them a place to
come home to, with a spiritual
family to nurture them ." The church
fs over four yea'rs old and has nine
congregations, called "families," in
California, Houston, Phoenix,
Albuquerque, and Independence,
Missouri. For information, phone
1-800-677-7252. .
Evangelicals
Concerned/Denver
Asked To Change
Group Name
An anti-gay social service agency in
Denver has asked Evangelicals
Concerned to stop using that name for
their group . The agency, Evangelical
Concern of Denver, Inc. has registered
vaiiations of the name and is
threatening legal action. Steering
committee members are seeking an
"appropriate response" to the
challenge. The anti-gay agency is
associated with ex-gay ministries.
SDA Campus
Outreach Hotline
Seventh-day Adventist Kinship
International has installed a
toll-free hotline for gay a nd lesbian
SDA college students. The hotline,
1-800-4-GA Y-SDA, operates from
6:00 p.m. to midnight, Pacific time,
Monday through Friday. The line is
answered by a network of volunteers.
May/June 1990
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Calendar
The following announcements have
been submitted by sponsoring or
affiliated groups.
Open and Affirming
Conferences
APRIL 29 · MAY 2, The United
Church ·Coalition for Lesbian/Gay
Concerns sponsors a conference to
increase awareness of the Open and
Affirming movement within the
United Church of Christ. There are
36 Open and Affirming congregations
presently in th 1.7 million member
UCC. For information on the Western
regional conference to be held at
Mercy Center, Burlingame, Cal.,
contact Rev. Wendy Taylor, 751
Alameda de las Pulgas, Belmont, CA
94002. Also, MAY 4·6, at St. Paul's
Church, Chicago, II. Contact Rev.
Talka Krciensicck, 1630 W. Pierce,
Chicago, IL 60622, and JUNE 1-3, at
United Congregational Church,
Worcester, Mass. Contact Rev . Ann B.
Day, P.O. Box 403, Holden, MA
01520. UCCL/GC welcomes
participants from other denomin•
ations, as well as UCC pastors, lay
people, and conference personnel. For
more information, contact UCCL/GC's
national office, 18 N . College,
Athens, OH 45701 or call
(614)593-7301.
Sixth Annual Desert
and Mountain States
Lesbian and Gay
Conference
MAY 11-13, A six-state Lesbian and
Gay conference themed "Growing
Together as Lesbians and Gays" will
be held at the El Rancho Hotel and
Casino in Las Vegas. Kay Weaver, a
major new talent in the gay and
lesbian entertainment industry, will
be featured in a major concert on the
second night of the conference.
Workshops include Health and
Wellness, Politics and the
Environment, Sprituality and
Humanism and Racism, Oppression
and Privilege. Early registration is
$55; $65 at the conference. Contact
DMSLGC, P.O. Box 19360, Las Vegas,
NV 89132-0360, (702)791-0083 or
(702)737-7780.
Conference for
Catholic Lesbians
Fifth National
Gathering
MAY 25·28, The Conference for
Catholic Lesbians, a national
organization for women of Catholic
heritage, sponsors Conference '90,
1B
"Power & Empowcrmcnt" .to be held
in Estes Park, Colorado, featuring
workshops, liturgics, and cntc~tainmcnt.
Keynote speaker is Mary
E. Hunt, noted theologian and
Co-Director of Women's Alliance for
Theology, Ethics and Ritual.
Workshop offering include feminist
theology, homophobia, ecology,
. relationships, spirituality and social
justice, among others. There will be
special sessions focusing on aging,
lesbian mothers, sexual and substance
abuse, lesbian nuns, women in
management and opportunitcs to meet
and network with other women.
Contact CCL Conference '90, P. 0. Box
436, Planetarium Station, New York,
NY 10024, (212) 562-8922
Men and Masculinity
15th Annual
Conference
MAY 31 · JUNE 3, "Ending Men's
Violence: Pathways to a Gender-Just
World" is the theIT]e of this conference
of the National Organization for
Changing Men to be held at
Oglethorpe University, Atlanta, Ga .
For information,write to: Men
Stopping Violence, 1020 DeKalb
Ave., #25, Atlanta, GA 30307 or
phone (404)688-1376.
Evangelicals
Concerned Eastern
Region Connection
JUNE 1·3, Kirkridge, situated high
atop the Appalachian Trail in the
Eastern Pennsylvania mountains, will
be the setting for the 11th Annual
Evangelicals Concerned Eastern
ConnECtion. Since 1980, the
conferences have been life changing
experiences for hundreds of gay men,
Lesbians, and friends who are
responding with trust to God's love
and who seek to live thankfully and
faithfully under God's grace and
peace. Keynote speakers arc Dr.
Ralph Blair, Rev. Marchicnc
Rienstra and Dr. Stanley Rock. Cost
is $150.00. For information contact:
Dr. Ralph Blair, 311 East 72nd St.,
New York, NY 10021.
GLPCI 11th
Annual Conference
JUNE 1-3, Gay and Lesbian Parents
Coalition International presents a
conference for gay and lesbian parents
and their children. The Hyatt
Regency in Crystal City, Virginia is
the setting. There will be workshops,
social events, and a look at the
famous and no-so-famous Washington
monuments. Children will attend a
special conference of their own.
Keynote speakers are Urvashi Vaid,
Michael Applebee and Eric Marcus.
For information call Dennis at
(301)990-0638 or Randy or Ron at
(301)990-9522 or write to GFC/QC P.
0. Box 19891, Washington, DC
20036-0891.
CMl's 1990
Retreats
JUNE 3·6, Co-dependency retreat in
Palm Springs, Cal., JUNE 11-14,
Embodied Spirituality and Sexuality
retreat for men and women at St.
Joseph's Retreat House, San Antonio,
Texas, AUGUST 17-19, Codependency ·
and Spiritual Wholeness retreat at
Weber House, Baltimor e , Maryland.
For information on Communication
Ministries' retreats, write to CMI
Retreats, P.O. Box 60125, Chicago, IL
60660-0125.
Advance
Northeast '90
JUNE 7-10, Living Communion
Ministries host Advance '90
sponsored by Advance Christian
Ministries. The theme is " ... for the
maturing of the saints, for the work of
the ministry, for the building up of
the body of Christ ." The setting is a
rustic, wooded and secluded camp in
Washougal, Washington, just outside
Portland. Four exciting days of
renewal, worship, fellowship and
fun . For information, contact Advance
Christian Ministries, 4001•C Maple
Ave., Dallas, TX 75219 or call
(214)522-1520 or (214)943-8081.
Woman Journey
JUNE 22·29, A retreat for lesbian
religious who are exploring sexual
identity issues, lead by Jeannine
Gramick, SSND, co-founder of New
Ways Ministry, and Mary Tobias
Hagan, CSJ, director of Rockhaven,
the scenic House Springs, Missouri,
setting for the retreat. Limited to ten
retreatants. Confidentiality is ·
assured . For information contact:
Mary Tobias Hagan, CSJ, 7621
Rivermont Trail, House Springs, MO
63051 or call (314)671-3623.
American Baptist's
National Retreat
JUNE 25 •27, American Baptists
Concerned, a national organization of
gay and lesbian Baptists, their
families and friends, will hold its
second national retreat in the San
Francisco Bay Arca. The focus of the
retreat will be community building
among gay and lesbian Baptists. The
retreat facilitator will be the Rev.
THE SECOND STONE
Dr. Jane Spahr, a nationally known
resource person on issues related to
the gay and lesbian community. An
ordained Presbyterian minister, Rev.
Spahr is the founder of the Ministry
of Light, a ministry to gay men,
Lesbians and their familcs in San
Anselmo, Calif. ·The retreat site is
Westerbcke Ranch, located north of
San Francisco. The retreat will be
proceeded by San Francisco's annual
Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day
Parade. ABConccrned/SFBA will
help with transportation to and from
the retreat. Cost is $100;00, which
includes two nights lodging and six
meals. For information write to
ABConcemed National Retreat, 686
Waller St., San Francisco, CA 94117.
Seventh-day
Adventist Kinship
Kamp meeting
JULY 1-8, SDA Kinship International
sponsors its 11th annual Kamp-meeting.
Procter Conference Center
near Columbus, Ohio, is the setting.
For information contact: Kamp-meeting
Coordinator, P.O. Box
292609, Columbus, OH 43229 or call
(213)876-2076.
Evangelicals
Concerned Western
Region Connection
JULY 6-8, San Francisco State
University is the setting for the 11th
Annual Evangelicals Concerned
Western Region gathering. Keynote
speakers arc Dr. Ralph Blair,
Beverly Barbo, Michael Buffce and
Gary Cooper. "Jesus The Light Of
The World" is the theme. For
information write to: Conference
Coordinator, P.O. Box 12551, Seattle,
WA98117.
Thornfleld
Workshop
on Sexuality
JULY 9-15, The highly acclaimed
annual training workshop on sexuality
at the Thornfield Conference
Center in Cazenovia, NY will focus on
gender, orientation and lifestyle and
their relationship to sexism,
hcterosexism and homophobia.
Designed as an advanced course for
both individual and professional
growth, the workshop sttracts
teachers, students, counselors, clergy,
health personnel and others.
Among the noted _staff are Mai:y Lee
Tatum, nationally-recognized family
life educator, lecturer and consultant
SEE CALENDAR, Page 15 .
Inner Paths . □ Why We Stay In The Church
By Chris Glaser
Contributing Writer
At sunset one New Year's Eve I
made my traditional trek along the
cliffs and sands of Santa Moriica
beach. I often "retreat" there, but
this annual visit takes on special
significance. I use the sun's setting on
the final day as a natural prompter
to reflect on the departing year.
This year the shore was cold and
rainy. It reflected my mood. This
had been the year that my first book,
Uncommon Callin~. was published
and warmly received. I had enjoyed
many celebrations around that event,
and believed the book would make a
difference in the church's attitude
toward Lesbians and Gays. I should
have been rejoicing. Instead I had
feelings of sadness, grief, and anger .
A recent event ·was coloring my
perspective.
A few weeks before, a church
committee on which I served debated
the ordination of Lesbians and Gays.
Denied ordination as a minister a
dozen years ago because of my sexual
orientation, I have nonetheless
proven myself a faithful layperson,
serving in a· variety of cap11cities.
Ironically I now served on this
committee which oversaw the
Welcome,
Chris · Glaser
CHRIS GLASER
Ed note: The author of this column,
Chris Glaser, is well known to th e
gay and _ lesbian Christian
community . He is a graduate of Yale
Divinity School and the author of
two books: Uncommon Calling - A
Gay Man's Struggle to Serve the
Church. and Come Horne!
Reclaiming Spirituality and
Community as Gay Men and Lesbians,
both from Harper & Row. We
welcome him as a regular contributor
to The Second Stone.
preparation of candidates for the
ordained ministry. In our work,
committee members shared our own
faith struggles, creating intimacy . So
I heard this discussion as a
conversation among spiritual
comrades.
But suddenly those for whom and
with whom I had worked well found
themselves divided. Some expressed
anger that the issue had even been
brought before us. Others claimed
there wasn't time to sort its
ramifications and make a decision, _as
if this were a new concern. One
decried it as an initiative of "the
homosexual lobby," though that was
not its source . The anger and fear now
expressed that homosexuality would
be divisive to the church had not
been their experience: after all, I as a
gay committee member had not
proven divisive at all, but rather, (as
one conservative member had told me
in a previous meeting) I had
contributed to the cohesiveness of the
group. What now truly seemed
divisive was the homophobia
expressed.
A motion for the committee to
endorse ordination of Lesbians and
Gays was defeated. I felt
devastated. The . San Diego General
Assembly of the Presbyterian Church
flashed before my mind's eye. It was
there in 1978 that a ban on gay
ordination was put into effect. The
feelings released by that blasphemy
against the Spirit's leading welled
up afresh within me. But these were
not strangers who voted against Gays
and Lesbians. These were "friends"
who had used me and my gifts in a
variety of ways only to once again
"love the gifts, hate the giver."
Driving home, a scream forced its
way out of m e . I did not consciously
decide to scream, but when it came, I
thought, "That felt good. I think I'll
do it again." And I did. It was more a
scream of pain than of anger. Then an
overwhelming grief followed.
As I walked now in light drizzle
along the beach, grey-blue waves
crashing on my left, the setting sun
trying to pierce the gloom before me, I
thought of that incident and of my
role as the eternal gay activist in the
church. I had been fee ling more
coerced and predestined than called.
W i th the many opportunities
afforded me to speak up for lesbian
sisters and gay brothers, I cannot
conceive that my ministry is my
choice. I've cooperated, but God
called the shots . Crying, I shook my
fist at God in anger. Why me?
The sun struggled to offer more
light . A sudden insight made 'me
laugh . If I were a nongay or even
closeted parish pastor, I would've
missed the grandeur and the passion
and the compassion that
characterizes the spirituality of gay
and lesbian Christians and those
nongay Christians whose spirituality
is gracious enough to embrace us. As it
is, I am able to communicate
(sacrarnentally as well as in word)
with people for whom Jesus Christ is
not merely a belief but a living spirit
embodied within them. I am
surrounded by "so great a cloud of
witnesses" to which homophobia or
the closet would have kept me blind.
I believe my experience is not unlike
many of you who have similar
callings. As ossified as the church
may be as an institution, it is still
where we may most easily meet
others attempting to embody Christ.
During a visit to Indiana a couple of
months ago, I breakfasted with a
minister who was questioning his
commitment to the church. I
reminded -him, were it not for the
church, he and I would never have
met and enjoyed the spiritual
community we shared . "Yes, we
would have," he said, "through
PLGC (Presbyterians for Lesbian and
Gay Concerns)." "But there would be
no PLGC were . there no Presbyterian
Church!" I laughed.
Whatever our Christian tradition or
denomination, God has used ·our
oppressor to awaken us to ·our own
spiritual community. If God can use
the church for such a divine purpose,
no wonder we still hold onto the hope
that the church may become yet more
responsive to the Spirit's leading.
United Methodists Gather
To Discuss Lesbian/ -
Gay Ministries
SAN FRANCISCO - About 200
persons concerned with ministries
with Lesbians and gay men in the
United Jv[ethodist Church gathered
here for the seccmd national
convocation of Reconciling Congregations.
Reconciling Congregations are
local United Methodist churches
that pledge to welcome Lesbians and
Gays as equal members of their
churches and to continue studying
what it means to be a truly inclusive
church.
Among the lay and clergy
participants at the convocation were
representatives of most of the 44
existing Reconciling Congregations
and of several potential Reconciling
Congregations . Also present were
delegates from United Methodist's
five Reconciling Conferences, annual
conferences that have joined with
Reconciling Congregations in
· expressing their public commitment to
lesbian/ gay ministries. In addition,
participants included observers from
denominational boards, from Parents
and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, and
from the More Light movement, a
Presbyterian effort · parallel to the
Reconciling Congregation Program.
The convocation's theme was
"Renewing the Vision: Parables of
Hospitality, Healing and Hope,"
with the Rev . Arthur Brandenburg, a
district superintendent in the Eastern
Pennsylvania Conference, as keynote
speaker and plenary leader.
.A new 16-mernber board for the
Reconciling Congregation Program
was selected. It is chaired by the
Rev. Kirn Smith of Bethany United
Methodist Church of San Francisco.
The vice chair is the Rev. Finees
Flores of .Albany Park UMC in
Chicago, with Carolyn Pell of
Wesley UMC in Sheboygan,
Wisconsin, as secretary and Reva
Anderson of Central UMC in Toledo
as treasurer.
Brandenburg noted that he was
surprised at the size and power of the
movement. "I came to San Francisco
expecting fewer than half as many
people as participated. The
excitement and spiritual commitment
of all the participants was almost
unbelievable ."
The first national convocation of
reconciling congregations was held in
Chicago in March 1987. A third
convocation will be held in 1992 or
1993.
Business or
. Personal...
Try a Second Stone
Classified Ad
May /June 1990
Closer Look
Jonathan and David
A Very Special Friendship
By Rev. Bruce Roller
Contributing Writer
Though homophobes throughout
recent centuries have written exclusively
of their relationship as one
only between the closest of friends,
and have indeed offered David and
Jonathan as a role model for righteous
friendships, (that's the way I heard
it in Sunday School!), some very good
reading is now available about the
definite romantic relationship of
David, Israel 's greatest ruler, and
Jonathan. Among these newer works
are Tom Homer 's 1978 book Tonathan
Loved David: Homosexuality in
Bible Times and Fred Pattison's essay
Tonathan Loved David!
To see that no other friendship in
the pages of Holy Scripture .is
described as thls one is, one need only
look to the passages themselves.
For instance, it certainly sounds like
love at first sight when we read the
passage in 1 Samuel 18:1, "After
David had finished talking with
Saul (Jonathan's father), Jonathan
became one in spirit with David, and
he loved him as himself." Very
seldom in the Hebrew Scriptures is
ANY relationship described in this .
manner! Dare we venture into the
epistles and see Paul echoing the
phrase in teaching about heterosexual
marriages? "In this same way,
spouses ought to love each other as
Announcing a NEW,
Revised and Greatly Expanded
Edttlon of Our
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Christians and
Homosexuality
In the last five years, we've SCJld tOOusands i.pon
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homosexuality, with a he~ful guide to a wide variety
of organizations ministering in a Christian way in the
gay and lesbian community. Now we've revised,
updated, aoo great~ axpaooed the booklet, adding a
host of new articles and features, including ·A Crisis
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their own bodies ... For this reason one
will leave their own parents and be
united to their spouse and the two
will become one flesh ... Each one of
you must love your spouse as you love
yourself, and your spouse will admire
you, (Ephesians 5:33)." For two to
become one person is the Pauline
expression of marriage. The
Evangelist Mark quotes Jesus as using
this expression of marriage (Mark
10:7-8), "So they are no longer two,
but one."
As in any relationship, the feelings
the two people share for each other
result in some action. 1 Samuel 18:3
records the spontaneous covenant
_between Jonathan and David, and it
shows the reason (not political gain,
protection, or any of the other usual
reasons for a covenant in the Hebrew
Scriptures, but) "because Jonathan
loved David as himself." The
covenant pledge was a particularly
intimate and vulnerable one.
"Jonathan took off the robe he was
wearing and gave it to David, along
with his tunic, and even his sword,
his bow and his belt." It sounds like
Jonathan was willing to give
everything to David.
Of Michal, Saul's daughter,
Scripture says, as it does of Jonathan,
that she loved David (1 . Samuel
18:20), and Saul gave her to David as
Ex-Gays?
There
Are None
Lambda Christian Fellowship is
pleased to announce a new book
by Rev. Sylvia Pennington - an
examination of ex-gay ministries .
what they do - what they don't do.
You'll meet people who, only ·
through God's grace, have survived
and stopped trying to be
ex-gays, because, in truth, there
is no such thing as an ex-gay
{X3rson.
Now Available From
Lambda Christian
Fellowship
P. 0. Box 1967
Hawthor ne, CA 90250
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handling. California residents add
6% sales tax.
his wife. Of David, however, it is
only recorded of this union that "he
was pleased to become the king's
son-in-Jaw, (18:26)," an obvious
allusion to this political marriage.
Michal and Jonathan compete in the
· Biblical story in thwarting their
father's plan to kill David. Because
of his love for David, Jonathan warns
David of a murder plot (19:1-7), and
is the source of temporary reconciliation
between his .father and his
lover. In 19:11-17 Michal aids in
David's escape from the murderous
Saul. Jonathan, however, is shown as
taking a firm stand with David,
while Michal lies to her father,
saying David threatened her to make
her cover for his escape (v.17).
In chapter twenty the plot of this
romantic story thickens . David takes
his life in his hands to return to his
lover Jonathan, and explains to him
that Saul is aware that Jonathan and
David are lovers, and that for this
reason Saul will not tell Jonathan hls
plans for killing David. With this
explanation Jonathan replies in
words reminiscent of Ruth's to
Naomi, "Whatever you want me to
do, I'll do for you, (20:4)." Again
Jonathan speaks with more emotion
than someone being loyal to a friend
when he says, "If I had the least
inkling that my father was
determined to harm you, wouldn't I
tell you? .(v 20:9)."
In case we have previously .missed
it, "Jonathan had David reaffirm his
oath out of love for him, because he
loved him as he loved himself,
(20:17) ."
Most gay and lesbian lovers can
relate to the family disturbance their
relationships exacerbate. At one
point in our story "Saul's anger flared
up at Jonathan and he said to him,
'You son of a perverse and rebellious
woman! Don't you know that you
have chosen the son of Jesse (David)
to your own shame and to the shame
of the mother who bore you? (20:30)."
The end of this family argument has
Saul hurling his spear at his own son
to kill him, (20:33). "Jonathan got up
from the table in fierce anger; oil that
second day of the month he did not
eat, because he was grieved at his
father 's shameful treatment of
David, (20:34)."
After Jonathan warns David to
escape, " ... they kissed ea ch other
and wept together - but David wept
the most, (20:41)." This was the last
meet ing between the two lovers in
this life. Truly this is a trag ic Bible
THE SECOND STONE
□
story of a homosexual love to rival
Romeo and Juliet.
The lament of David over
Jonathan's death is recorded in 2
Samuel 1:25-26, "How the mighty
have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies
slain on your heights. I grieve for you
Jonathan my brother; you were very
dear to me . Your love for me was
wonderful, more wonderful than that
of women."
The Rev. Dr. Sherre Boothman,
President of UFMCC's Samaritan
College in Los Angeles, points out
that this very statement on its
surface speaks of a sexual relationship
since at this point in Israel's
history (though not at other points of
Israel's history) women were
considered chattel, and reference to
the love of women would . be
primarily sexual in connotation .
But, someone may be objecting,
David and Jonathan were both
married (David, several times) and
David was at least once sexually
involved with a beautiful woman,
Bathsheba! How could these two
men have been in a sexual and
romantic relationship with each
other? I need only remind people of
Kinsey's research in the United
States in modern times, or to point to
the experience of many of the readers
of this column who are ambisexual or
who, though primarily gay or
lesbian, are or have been in sexual
relationships with people of the
other gender.
As in all these columns this year, I
have no personal ax to.grind. I am not
invested in the sexuality of these
relationships; but it would seem to me
that one of the most .beautiful love
stories (and to me sexual and romantic
expression is a joyous part of that
love) in the Hebrew Scriptures is the
heart-rending, heart-warming story
of Jonathan and David, who loved
each other from first sight, through
death.
The Reverend Bruce Roller is pastor
of Reconciliation MCC in Grand
Rapids, MI. He has prepared a
workbook on 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
that is available for $3.50 plus 25%
handling and shipping . This book
allows the student to draw
conclusions themselves from the
Word of God, and has helped many
people over their fear of
condemnation from thi s passag e of
Scripture. The workbook is available
from Faithful Publications, P .O. Box
3701, Grand Rapids, MI 49501.
- ,
'
Families □ Mother's/Father's Day Thanks May Go To Someone Else
ByDr. Buddy Truluck
Columnist
What is your earliest memory?
Playing with other children in the
yard? Going to Sunday School?
Getting a spanking? Watching your
parents fight? My earliest memory is
my mother holding me in her lap and
reading to me out of a big Bible story
book. The pictures in the book still
stand out in my memory. The one I
remember best is the boy Samuel, who
had on a robe just like mine . The only
thing missing was my bunny rabbit
bedroom shoes.
Christian faith was given to me in a
warm, loving and positive way . This
makes me even · more different than
the fact that I am an openly gay
Christ ian minister. Many Gays and
Lesbians have not had such a
positive experience with their
parents or with religion . If you have,
tell your parents how grateful you
are .
One of the Ten Commandments says
"honor your father and mother that .
Welcome,
Dr. Buddy Truluck
Ed. Note: Buddy Truluck is a former
Southern · Baptist pastor with an
extensive teaching and writing
background. Presently this energetic
Bibl e scholar is teaching a series
entitled "The Bible As A Friend of
Lesbians and Gays" at San Francisco's
Golden Gate MCC. He was ordained
in 1953 by the First Baptist Church in
Clinton, South Carolina and
completed his career with the
Southern Baptist Church 20 years
later at the First Baptist Church of
Columbus, Missis sippi. He was
educated at the Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary in Louisville,
Kentucky. He will be a regular
contributor to The Second Stone .
your days may be long in the land ."
The promise of long life for honoring
parents is the same as the promise for
keeping the Commandments of God.
The reason for this connection is that
the law of God was given to the
children through their parents
(Deuteronomy 5 & 6). But all parents
are not "honorable." Some do teach
love and acceptlfnce, but others teach
rejection, self-hate and prejudice.
Rejection by family can be
devastating to young Gays and
Lesbians. I have known of gay young
men 15 or 16 years old who were
thrown out of their own homes by
their parents when they were
discovered to be gay. I know of one
young man whose father threatened
to kill him if he ever came back
home. Another turned to his father
for advice and was told to put a gun to
his head .
Jesus knows and understands that
you did not choose your parents or
other re latives. They were given to
you. You do not have to be responsible
for or carry the guilt of others who
misunderstand and reject you . Jesus
was misunderstood and rejected by his
relatives. Mark 13:21: "His own
kinsmen heard and went out to take
custody of Jesus; ·for they said Jesus
has lost his senses."
Jesus redefined the meaning of
family, just as he gave fresh new
meaning to love, prayer, life and
service. Jesus looked about on those
who were sitting around him and said
in Mark 3:34-35: "Behold my mother
and my brothers! For whoever does
the will of God is my brother and
sister and mother. " Jesus selected his
own spiritual family. So can you.
Gay Pride is also celebrated this
time of year. The self -respect that
my parents taught me lies back of my
pride in who I am, which includes
being gay. I came out to my parents
years ago , and they have been just as
supportive and encouraging as before.
My father will be ·80 years old and
my mother 79 this summer. Ten years
ago, my parents spent a year as
Southern Baptist missionaries in
Ma lawi in East Africa setting up a
printing and publishing ministry.
They are still active leaders in my
home town Baptist church . My
parents made me feel good about
myself . They still do.
Whether or not your p a rents
encouraged and loved you, other
women or men may have cared about
you. Perhaps you had an older friend
along the way who help ed you face
and accept being gay or le sbian. Did
someone help you to come out and feel
good about yourself both as a
homosexual and as a Christian?
Mother's /Father's Day is a good
time to get in touch and say,
"THANK YOU!"
You cannot go back and change how
you were treated as a child . If you
received love, pass it on. If you
didn't, then determine with God 's
help to love and build up the
CALENDAR, From Page 12
from Falls Church , Va.; Brian
McNaught, consultant and author of
the book and video, On Bein~ Gay;
and the Rev. Bill Stayton, author,
theologian and sex therapist. The
director of the Thornfield Workshop
on Sexuality is psychotherapist and
educator Alison Deming.
Registration is limited to 60 persons .
For furth er information, contact
Alison De ming, P.0 .Box 447, ·
Fayetteville, NY 13066, or call (315)
637-8990.
Tenth National
Gathering of
UCCL/GC
JULY 10-15, the United Church of
Christ Coalition for Lesbian/Gay
Concerns meets at the University of
Southern California for its tenth
national gathering, themed "Spirit
Becoming Flesh Becoming Spirit" .
Cynthia Winton -Henry and Phil
Porter are the keynote speakers.
Nationally respected AIDS and arts
activist Michael Keams will perform
his one person play, "Larger Than
Life" which explores love, loss and
the unpredictability of life. For
information write to UCCL/GC, 18 N.
College, Athens, OH 45701.
Lutherans
Concerned
Assembly '90
JULY 19-22, Lutherans Concerned/
North America hosts the largest
group of gay and lesbian Lutherans
ever assembled . The setting is the
self-esteem of people around you.
Think of someone who needs you to be
the nurturing and encouraging
"parent" that they never had. One of
the best ways to feel good about
yourse.Jf is to help others feel good
about themselves!
"Let us pursue the building up of one
another." -Romans 14:19
campus of University of Illinois at
Chicago. "I Am In Your Midst" is the
theme . Assembly '90 marks LC/NA's
sixteenth year of working for lesbian
and gay understanding within the
church.The design and intent of the
assembly is to create an atmosphere
where people can experience a
familiar yet fresh approach to
spirituality and community .
Facilitator is Rev . Linda Strohmier.
A variety of workshops will be
offered. For information -write to:
Assembly '90, P.O . Box 10197, Fort
Dearborn Station, Chicago, IL 60610.
Community Gospel
Fellowship General
Conference
AUGUST 23-25, Beautiful Camp
Manison , outside of Houston, is the
setting for Community Gospel
Fellowship's annual conference. A
great time of fellowship is promised.
Cost is $68.00. For informa _tion, write
to Community Gospel Fellowship,
P.O. Box 66158, Houston, TX 77266
Thanksgiving Cruise
NOVEMBER 17-24, Robin Tyler
Productions presents a seven night
women's Thanksgiving cruise to the
Mexican Riviera on the 55 Bermuda
Star . For furthur informaiion,
write to Robin Tyler Productions,
15842 Chase St., Sepulveda, CA
91343 or call 1-818-893-4075.
SEND EVENT NOTICES TO:
CALENDAR, THE SECOND STONE,
P.O. BOX 8340,
NEW ORLEANS, LA 70182
COVER STORY, From Page 9
are not a Jot of fathers willing
to do that," she said.
family. Our issue is really
about love and acceptance.
How dare the fundamentalists
rob us of the
definition of the word
"family ." It is their
homophobia, not homosexualty,
. that destroys family
ties."
Of those in the church
who would reject Gays and
Lesbians, Lewallen said "I
believe that we need to go
in th e direction of a
stronger emphasis on the
May/June 1990 m
Book Review
Bridges Of Respect
Creating Support for Lesbian and Gay Youth
By Ken Wens
Reprinted with permission from
PLGC's More Light Update,
Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903
Katherine Whitlock, author;
Rachael Kamel, editor.
Philadelphia: American Friends
Service Committee, 1988. 97 p. $7.50
paper. ISBN 0-910082-13-8.
Buy many copies of this book and see
how much change you can effect by
presenting copies to your local
secondary school principals for their
guidance departments, to your School
Board Superintendent for expansion
of the health and sexuality
curriculum and its careful and
complete AIDS education, to every
administrator of social services and
support groups for youth, to your
pastor and church youth fellowship
advisors . The thirty-eight pages of
introductory context are the most
quotable and specific description I
have seen of the emotional isolation
and self-est e em struggles of lesbian
and gay youth, the hostility and
harassment an .d lack of supportive
networks they experience, and the
climat e -changing help which can be
given through public advocacy,
inclusive education, training of
professionals, crisis intervention and
emergency services, programs of
outreach and of enforcing responsible
standards of nondiscriminatory
conduct. The concluc!_ing fifty -eight
pages of resources is an annotated
distillation of the most useful
organizations, projects, printed and
audiovisual materials available in
the United States for meeting the
caring and health and legal and
student and social services concerns of
youth buffeted by homophobia.
The emotional crisis is up front right
from the start. "(Violence) can be
inflicted with words and actions or
through silence, indifference and
neglect, wounding ·a young person's
h eart and spirit" \p.4) . Sandra
Brawders, speaking at the
Presbyterians for Lesbian & Gay
Concerns Eastern Regional Conference
in New York , put the equation this
way, referring to gay Presbyterians
who testified for equality of
Back Issues
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Outreach .. .is the light under a bushel for Gays &
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More from Bruce Roller, Bill Urban.
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attack by religious conservatives. Plus ... are you
supporting causes that discriminate against Gays?
A change of.heart? Ex-gay ministries say there is
another choice ... an ex-gay's story. More from
Martin Fowler, Michael Blankenship.
After the AIDS death of her son, Beverly Barbo
set out to change church attitudes towards Gays.
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membership privileges at the 1978
General Assembfy in San Diego:
"They confronted the Church on a one
to one million basis and said, 'I am
dead because I am gay."' Young
people have a poignant. vulnerability,
"They cannot take for
granted the safety of family,
religious community, youth groups or
community centers" (p.12).
Gay and lesbian
youth need dignity,
support and
respect in their
lives now, from
the people and
the communities
that are important
to them.
Motivation for action comes from
sensitivity to the personal crisis
confining lesbian and gay youth. "It
is unrealistic to dismiss the problem
of isolation by saying that young
people who are gay and lesbian will
eventually find their own way to
adult gay /lesbian communities. For
most of these young people, such
communities seem a world away. Gay
and lesbian youth need dignity,
support and respect in their lives
now, from the people and the
communities that are important to
them. Neither does it make sense to
wait for the emergence of a large
visible community of lesbian/gay
youth before we begin to provide all
these resources. Over time, youth
still in hiding will come out and
sympathetic adults must be accessible
to them when they do . In the
meantime, the very presence of such
services will send a message of
acceptance to all young people and
their families" (p.14).
So much for the mandate to get
moving in this area. The Quaker
writers state their rationale without
apology, "Societal institutions are
seldom pleased to have the boat
rocked. Yet that is precisely what
we are advocating. We are seeking to
make room for lesbian and gay youth
in structures perme a ted with
homophobia. We are proposing new
recognition of the dignit y and worth
of young people w ho are
THE SECOND STONE
homosexually oriented. That is a
powerful form of boat -rocking in a
society that has failed to affirm the
humanity of these youth, much less
consider their claim to human
dignity, equality and freedom "
(p.37).
If there is an omission in this
extremely useful primer and reference
guide, it would be a chapter on the
church's bridges with gay members
and the gay community. Pages 46-57
in the Resources section survey the
organizations in each denomination
supportive of gay concerns and the
more outstanding materials developed
from religious sources. But what
about some comment on how
homophobia is fueled in the local
congregation? What can we point out
that is operative in the churches
young people experience, for their
clarity and their resistance?
One thing might be to say that until
we are at home with ourselves, our
relations with others will be
distorted and distorting. The most
obvious form of distortion is
projection, which happens all the
time in our churches and our world.
When we have unexplored darkness
within ourselves we get preverse
relief by projecting that darkn ess
outward on some "enemy " (usually
people who are simply different from
us). It is a futile effort to flee our own
shadows by despising, and sometimes
destroying, the people on whom we
project them. Insofar as churches
encourage their members to make a
rigorous solitary inward spiritual
journey, they can be therein
committed to withdrawing one's
projections and to being open to the
possibilty of love.
The other thing we might say, in
such a chapter on church homophobia,
is to be aware of when
congregatlons are preaching a
theology of a God who is not pleased
with you as you are . I owe this
insight to Virginia Mollenkott. She
says that patriarchy preaches an
inclusive God who tells us that only
by changing your basic nature from
homosexual to heterosexual can you
be acceptable to God. You ar e not
supposed to esteem yourself as you are
- that is sinful pride, to be repented of
(and a lot of congregations are mad e
up of women so socialized that th e y
don't esteem themselves in the firs t
place). Very conveniently the power
group tells the oppressed to embrace
their oppression a bit mor e.
Remember, buy se veral copies of the
book. It will open your adult eyes .
Videos □ Commo n Threads: Stor ies F rom The Quilt
Quilt Document ary
Wi ns Oscar
H;yEricHess
Contributing Wri ter
We live day to day sometimes not
fully realizing what it means to be
alive or what it means to be human,
but every no w and then we take the
time to look closely at what each of
these things mean .
These and many other thoughts
come to mind when viewing the
Academy A ward winning documentaty,
"Common Threads: Stories From
The Quilt ."
The documentary, which is
accompanied by the special vocal
talent of Bobby Mcferrin, is not so
much the story of the quilf as it is the
. story of the people whose voices are
still heard through the quilt -- those
who have died as a result of AIDS
and those whose lives they touched .
"Common Threads", narrated by
Dustin Hoffman, tells the stories
represented by five of the thousands
of panels that make up the quilt,
which has toured the United States
and was unfolded on the White House
lawn.
This brilliant film tracks the
political and social effects of AIDS,
but never loses sight of the human
condition of the disease and the basic
message, "too much love is gone ... too
much tragedy ... too much loss ."
The docum entary take s us into the
li v es of a hemophiliac ch ild , a
intravenous dru g user, a gay father, a
gay couple and a gay activist whose
message is that there is a continued
need to press foward in our fight for
funding and care.
Each story is unique in its own way .
We learn how AIDS does not
discriminate, how our government did
not respond to the epidemic until the
disease crossed over into the
heterosexual community,. and how
many lives have been touched by this
tragedy .
"Common Threads: Stories From The
Quilt" was produced by Rob Epstein,
who won an Oscar for Best
Documentary in 1984 for the "Times of
Harvey Milk." The 80 minute film
tells its story with quiet sen$itivity .
We understand the reality of the
issue by listening to those who
have had to deal with the
devastation of AIDS.
At the end Vito Russo, one of those
who shared his story says, " We want
to see an end ... (a day) when we can
stop adding panels and put this thing
away . Some day this will be
over ... Some day there will be no such
thing as AIDS and we will remember
that there was a terrible tragedy
that we survived ."
Lesbian/Gay Religious
Denounce Coalition
Traditional Values
Groups
·For
Symposium
Representatives of ten national
lesbian/ gay religious organizations
have issued a public statement
rejecting the premise of a symposium
entit led "The National Task Force
for the Preservation of the Hetero- ·
sexual Ethic" held in Washington,
D.C. that depicted homosexuality as
"intrinsically unhealthy, unnatural
or immoral." The symposium was
sponsored by the Coalition for
Traditional Values, led by Rev. Louis
Sheldon.
The statement was written and
coordinated by Rev. Ken South of the
United Church Coalition for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Signers of the
statement included Rev. Jan
Griesinger, United Church Coalition
for Lesbian/Gay ·Concerns; George
Plagianos, Axios/Eastern Orthodox
Christian Gay Men and Lesbians; Jim
Anderson, Presbyterians for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns; Rev. John W.
Lynndorus, United Lesbian and Gay
Christian Scientists; Rev. William
H. Carey, National Gay Pentecostal
Alliance and Lighthouse Christian
Fellowship; Marge Doyle, SeventhDay
Adventist Kinship International,
lnc.; Barrett Brick, World
Congress of Gay and Lesbian Jewish
Organizations; Jim Souder, Brethren/
Mennonite Council for Lesbian and
Gay Concerns; Pat Roche, Dignity/
USA; and Kim Byham, Integrity, Inc .
The statement declared that
coalitions from all major faith group s
are united "with one voice in saying
that we see no inconsistency between
our sexual orientation and our faith
traditions-:-"
- Waves
AT LAST.
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May/June 1990 m
Essay . □
Don't Seek God With Spiritual Eyes Closed
BY TERISSA THOMPSON
Contributing Writer
Do you ever find that the harder
you try to do right, the further yOll
feel from God? The tendency toward
a legalistic approach to God has been
a strong influence since religion began.
And it is not limited to formally
imposed legal codes, but often
appears in systems of rules we invent
or adapt for ourselves. This seems to
be the natural human approach to our
awesome and perfect God .
A noted Christian author and
speaker defines religion as any set of
practices designed to achieve communication
or unity with the Most
High God. He goes on to point out
that the word "religion" comes from a
root meaning bondage. Thus , he
alleges, religion is literally a return
to bondage. (Gal. 2:4, 4:3, et al)
In Jesus' time the Pharisees were
noted for detailed regard for such a
system, strictly interpreting and
observing Jewish law , particularly
sections pertaining to tithing and
ritual purity. Their code consisted of
613 laws go _verning even such
According to the
gospel writers, concern
for the smallest
detail of the law was
more important to
the Pharisees than a
right spirit, a pure
heart for God, or
compassion toward
a fellow human
being.
activities as the use and washing of
utensils and all manner of personal
hygiene (Mark 7:3-4). Throughout
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the Jewish community the Pharisees
were highly esteemed for their
knowledge of scriptural law and
their devotion to its perfect
execution. Their meticulous devotion
to these laws was, in their way of
thinking, essential for right standing
with God. According to the gospel
writers, concern for the smallest
detail of the law was more important
to the Pharisees than a right spirit, a
pure heart for God, or compassion
toward a fellow human being . Their
obedience was unmatched. Yet for
this kind of heartless obedience Jesus
repeatedly rebuked these religious
experts.
Consider our Lord's own treatment of
the law. He associated with outcasts
and even ate with them! He healed
on the Sabbath and allowed His
disciples to pick grain ( apparen tly
violating the fourth commandment!),
infuriating the administration. And
still He says, "I did not come to
abolish the law but to fulfill it."
(Matt. 5:17) Surely Jesus understood
the law in a much greater sense than
mere outward obligation when He
said, "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to
do good, .or to do harm, to save a life,
or to destroy it?" (Luke 6:9)
IN SPITE OF JESUS' STRONG
teaching, the majority of our
Christian religion seems to be as
restrictive and as fruitless as the
Pharisees' plodding through
Judaism! Most of us were taught from
a very early age what we must do and
what we must not do .to gain God's
favor. The rest heard some version of
the law eventually. What God likes
and dislikes, how He likes it and
how much, and what He will do if
it's wrong, are decreed and enforced
as law by parents, preachers, and
police. The Bible is allegedly
brimming with the rash consequences
. we face for failing to uphold any part
of the law. (Nonbelievers often tell
me this is the main thing they "do
not like about 'Christianity."')
Understand that I am not just
referring to laws issued by
authorities, but to practices we
fashion for ourselves as well! For
instance, we certainly should pray,
read the Bible, and seek Christian
fellowship, yet these can become
pointless exercises when the
emphasis transfers to the activity
itself. Habitually doing what we
should do solely because it's what we
should do may be a symptom of
legalism. Have you ever found that a
"tried and true" formula suddenly
ll THE SECOND STONE
doesn't seem to produce the feeling of
the presence of God that it used to?
God will ·not allow us to "conjure"
Him up _ through any set of procedures.
Paul issued harsh rebukes to
societies which sought to return to
the bondage ' of the law, and Jesus
spoke His most passionate words
against such ritualistic practices in
the Jewish religion. Yet this
misguided piety continues to flourish.
And here is where pharisaism falls
short: It is a cognitive, rational
structure which targets the mind -
that is, the natural man. lt seems to
make sense, appealing to logic and
our human sense of justice. Ironically,
this may be where the attraction lies
for its followers. A law "written on
stone tablets" is physical and
tangible. However, it does riot teach
In spite of Jesus'
strong teaching, the
majority of our
Christian religion
seems to be as
restrictive and as
fruitless as the
Pharisees' plodding
through Judaism!
a personal Jesus, but points to a
distant God . And the mind set ·on
controlling the flesh through the law
is indeed set on the flesh. That mind
is hostile to God (Rom. 8:6-8)! Ask
yourself, "Do I want religion or do I
want God in my life?" God is not a
theoretical abstract . He is a
spiritual reality (John 4:24). Millions
are unwilling to explore
spiritual dimensions, preferring to
"seek God" with their spiritual eyes
closed.
If we nurture our spiritual health
(that is, our relationship with
Christ), all our other attitudes and
actions will begin to fall in line with
God's will. I am not advising
disregard for law. I urge you to
· consider your own individual response
to God's call to obedience, but not to
let that response become so fast - so
rigid - that you miss knowing the
infinite God. With a single mind let
us seek Jesus.
Travel
Enjoying The . Hidden Hawaiis
By Cynthia A. Marquard
and Danni Munson
Contributing Writers
Who hasn't dreamed of being in an
isolated tropical paradise with that
special someone? The splash of a
waterfall in a ferny grotto; miles of
deserted white sand beaches; the
strange calls of exotic birds high up in
the rainforest canopy.
We recently went off in search of just
such isolated pieces of paradise in
the Hawaiian Islands. And we found
several places, . well off the beaten
path, that cater to gay men and
lesbiari ·or are at least are quite gay
frietrdly .
On the Big Island
The island of Hawaii, the largest of
the islands, has several h i dden
resorts perfect. for those who want to
get away from it all, or at least most
of it. The Big Island has two main
areas . The Hilo .area--which is less
touristy, close to the Kilauea
Volcano, lush with tropical flowers
and other vegetation--is also pretty
rainy. The Kailua-Kona area is·
fairly congested with hotels and big
resort , properties set like oases · of
greenery amid the moonscape of black
lava flows frozen on their way to the
sea . But here, the sun always shines.
Needless to say, most of the secluded
vacation properties for gay men and
lesbians are in the Hilo area . One
exception is a male-only B & B, the
R.B.R. Farms in Captain Cook, a '
small town up the mountain from
Kealakekua Bay, where Captain
Cook met is death in 1779 . Today the
bay is known for its excellent ·
snorkeling.
For women only, there is the
secluded Butterfly Inn, watched over ·
by two very hospitable l esbian
owners who are genuinely concerned
about providing the best in comforts
and · amenities to their guests;
including fresh papayas and bananas :
grown in their large and private
garden. The house has two
guestrooms that share a living area,
kitchen, and ·bath . But the main
attraction is the steam house, a
genuine wood-fired, Finnish hot-rock
sauna. Outside the steam house is a
tub that serves as a cold plunge and a
large jacuzzi.
The Butterfly Inn is located fairly
close to one of earth's great natural
wonders, an active volcano . Science
tells us that the eruptions of molten
rock are caused by a hot spot deep in
earth's mantle that, like a blow
torch, heats the rock below Kilauea.
Legend tells us that it is the work of
the ancient Hawaiian fire goddess
.Pele. Whichever truth one subscribes
to, this volcano is not to be missed . It
can be viewed first hand in Hawaii
Volcanoes National Park. At the end of
a ride down Chain of Craters~oad ;
rangers indicate where to park ai;:id
allow visitors to walk out on the
newly formed rock, stepping over
cracks from which steam is still
rising. The oozing lava we were able
to see looked like a little pink paw
. inching out of a crevice . Beyond, and
off limits to tourists because the area
is so dangerous, we · could see great
clouds of steam rising where the main
river -of lava was pouring into the sea
at a rate of 35 miles per hour. Many
guests of the But.terfly Inn come to see
the volcano at night, when one can
get a true sense of this fire from
within. Men wanting to stay near the
volcano should consider a night at
Volcano House, an old hotel in the
national park near the Visitor's
Center .
Near Upolu Point, at the extreme
north end of the Big Island, is a gay
friendly B & B in the tiny town of
Hawi (population 700) . Hale
Anvenue consists of a 70-year-old
main house with two guestrooms and
adjacent house with an additional
two rooms situated on one-third acre.
There is also a jacuzzi. Snorkeling is
excellent on the beaches a short drive
·away .
Huliaule'a is the most hidden of
the Big Island's hidden Hawaiis. It
sits on a remote hillside in the Hilo
. area and off the beaten path of
ci~ilization. Electricity comes from
its own generator, which is turned on ·
only at certain times of day. This
creates a unique lamp-lit environm ent
at night that can be very romantic.
Daytime views from the veranda are
stunning. Breakfast is provided, but
guests do not have kitchen privileges.
they must dine out in Hilo .
Kalani Honua bills itself as an
"ocean ranch" and · is the location of
the annual Camp Camp-It-Up
summer camp for gays and lesbians.
The 1990 camp is scheduled for one
week beginning August 13. There are
· other gay /lesbian gatherings
planned .for March 13, April 18, and
April 21. The property is a large
complex of lodges on an isolated
stretch of coast near Hilo . There is a
gift shop and restaurant on the
grounds ...
Undeveloped
Molokai
This part of Hawaii is so hidden
that it would not appeal to everyone.
There is a trade-off for quiet,
undeveloped areas. The reason
- Molokai is the least developed of the
islands is that it lacks the one thing
most people go to Hawaii for:
beautiful, swimmable, white sand
beaches. And it has been
traditionally a taboo area, because
this is where the Hawaiians sent the
lepers. There is a famous leper
colony, .still active today, on the
remote Kalaupapa Penins11la,
accessible only by boat or plane .
Main street in Molokai's one major
town is reminiscent 'of a rural town in
central Iowa . There are so few stores
that each of them--drugstore,
grocery, hardware store, Post Officeare
named on maps of th e island. And
like many rural areas, Molokai is
very agricultural, with lime
orchards, pineapple plantations, and
cattle ranches .
.The island has two distinct areas:
the east end has -tropical rainforests
and the west . end has rolling
savannahs. The east erid has poor
beaches because there the ancient
Hawaiians built fish ponds, walled
areas along the coast used for
trapping fish. The · walls
disintegrated , and today they trap
muddy runoff from the mountain,
turning the beaches to muck . So the
main attraction in the east end is the
Halawa Valley, with a twisting,
narrow road through the rainforest.
Park near the end of the road and
hike through the jungle to Moaula
Falls, where you can take a swim .
But during periods of heavy rain,
beware of high wnter in two creeks
· you have to cross to reach the falls.
□
The west end has beautiful white
sand beaches, but there is no coral
reef beyond to tame the crushing
power of the waves. Anyone trying to
swim there would be likely to drown.
But the beach is almost totally
deserted and is a wonderful place to
walk or sunbathe. And at Papohaku
Beach Park, you can camp for $3.00
per night .
There are no gay resorts or bars on
Molokai. Most visitors stay at resort
properties near the main town of
Kaunakakai. Guests can walk to
town from the Pau Hana Inn, which is
also the least expensive with rooms
starting at about $40 per night. The
Hotel Molokai has the best
restaurant, open to .the ·sea, and there
.is usually entertainment in the
evening.
Part II of •the Hidden Hawaiis will
.appear in our next issue.
Cynthia A. Marquard is the
: owner/manager of Envoy Travel,
Inc., in Chicago and vice-president of
the International Gay Travel Assn.
Danni Munson is the publisher of
The Lesbian and Gay Almanac and
Events of 1990.
P . 0. Box 118 SL
Bethlehem, NH 03574
(603) 869-3978
the "other" ,Plact
under the sun ...
Write or call for brochure.
120 E. Atol St., P. 0. Box 2326
South Padre Island, Texas 78597
(512)761-LYLE
Air connections via
American Continental Soutbwesi
DJ
Parting Thought □ Jesus Has AIDS And Lives On Valencia Street
By John-Mkhaei Olexy
Contributing Writer
I was substituting as a driver for
"Project Open Hand", the group that
provides a bag lunch and hot dinner
to people with AIDS . My "runner"
Bill, who _del~ered the meals while
I stayed m my double-parked car,
was from Wisconsin and new to San
Francisco . We worked with a
computer listing of the names and
addresses and any special meal
requirements . Bill looked up at his
list as I pulled up in front of a weary
building on Valencia Street. "One
regular lunch, one special dinner for
Jesus" he said asche jumped out of the
car. --As- ne- disa'ppeared up the side
stairs to an apartment over the liquor
store I looked at the listing, Jesus,
pronounced 'J-Ieysous", a rather
common Spamsh name, was on the
listing. Wisconsin Bill pronounced it
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as most English-speakers do - "Jesus."
Well, _that certainly would drive the
Fundamentalists wild, I thought.
Jesus has AIDS and is living on
Valencia Street. I put it aside as Bill
popped into . the car and I pulled out
into the traffic to continue our
deliveries.
The following Saturday my friend
Frank and I were working our own
regular "Open Hand" route. We were
going to a party later, so we hurried
along, sometimes both of us leaving
the car and delivering to save
precious minutes. I hurried down the
hallway of a building on 17th Streef
and pounded on a door. My mind was
on the party.
The door opcred slowly. I flinched
when I saw the figure in the
darkness. He was a young man, but
now looked so very old . He still had
the face of a choir boy, an old,
emaciated choir boy. The beautiful
face was now covered completely
with lesions. I prayed that he didn't
see my reaction.
He was too weak to carry his meals
into the apartment, so I took them
into the kitchen. Looking back, I let
myself out. "God bless," I called over
my shoulder. I scurried down the
hall, went around the corner and fell
against the wall. Frank would have
to wait. The party would have to
wait. I was already haunted by that
choir boy face. I breathed deeply as
tears rolled down my face. Crossing
myself, I whispered a prayer l
sometimes say which was written by
Basil Hume, the British Cardinal.
He calls it his prayer of
incompetence. "Lord, l don't know
what to make of all this . Or what to
do . Lord, be with _ me and give me
strength."
Later that night, after dropping
Frank off, I drove to the top of Twin
Peaks to the point that looks out over
the city. I thought about the choir
boy on 17th Street, and Joe on Corbett,
and Tim on Douglas. I just couldn't do
it any more. I thought it was too
much . It hurt too much, this
delivering. I was tired of crying. I
was tired of seeing young, lesioned,
old men.
After a long period, mysteriously,
somehow that quotation from
Matthew came into my mind .
"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one
of the least of these my breathren, ye
have done ·it unto me." The choir
boy on 17th Street, Joe.on Corbett and
Tim on Douglas were all really Jesus.
When I brought the bag lunch and
Classifieds
Books & Publications
CHRISTIAN'NEW AGE QUARTERLY explores
the issues arising between Christians
and New Agers with authentic information,
forthright honesty and, yes, real appreciation
for both sides. Penetrating, yet fun, our
features and columns· forge a bridge for
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GAY MEN OF AA: First-Hand Accounts. New
release! $12.95 plus $1.30 shipping and
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6/90
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Friends/Relationships
GENTLEMAN, mid-fifties, young looking, 5'8",
125 lbs, seeks same, compatible, empathetic,
the hot dinner to these guys · I was
actually bringing a meal to Jesus. It's
true. He said it h imself. It's right .
there in the Bible on the night stand
by the · bed. Would I be able to deal
with this terrible illness every
Saturday? Sure. Certainly . How
often do you get to see the faces of
Jesus staring at you from the
doorway? How often can you get to
see Christ's wounds? After all, it's
quite true . Jesus does have AIDS and
does live on Valencia Street .
John-Michael Olexy serves as Senior
Warden of . Trinity Episcopal Church
Parish in San Francisco and. writes for
the parish journal, The Word Made
Fresh. from which this article is
reprinted.
□. affectionate, for companionship, friendship
and pen pal. Please reply: Leander, Box 3183,
Manchester, NH 03101. 6/90
Organizations
THE CONFERENCE FOR CATHOLIC
LESBIANS (CCL) invites you to Conference
'90 - "Power & Empowerment", Memorial Day
Weekend, May 25-28, 1990, Estes Park,
Colorado. Workshops, liturgies, entertainment.
For information please contact
CCL-Conference '90, P.O. Box 436,
Planetarium Station, New· York, NY 10024,
(212)562-8922. The Conference for Catholic
Lesbians (CCL)"is a national organization for
women of Catholic heritage. 6/90
Situations Wanted
1990 M. DIV. SEMINARY GRAD, evangelical
Reformed theology, progressive social vision,
parish ministry orientation. Educated in l)oth
evangelical (Trinity, Deerfield) and liberal
(Iliff, Denver) seminaries. 30 y/o, single,
healthy, will relocate. Seeks parish situation,
either staff or sole. Mark Lee, 2466 S. York,
Denver, CO 8021 O. 6/90
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