Open Hands Vol 13 No 1 - Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here!

Open Hands Vol 13 No 1 - Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here!

13

1

1997

Summer

Vol. 13 No. 1
Summer 1997
2 Open Hands
Vol. 13 No. 1 Summer 1997
Resources for Ministries Affirming
the Diversity of Human Sexuality
Open Hands is a resource for congregations
and individuals seeking to be in
ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay
persons. Each issue focuses on a specific
area of concern within the church.
Open Hands is published quarterly by
the Reconciling Congregation Program,
Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation
with the Association of Welcoming &
Affirming Baptists (American), the More
Light Churches Network (Presbyterian),
the Open and Affirming (United Church
of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ
(Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs
is a national network of local
churches that publicly affirm their ministry
with the whole family of God and
welcome lesbian and gay persons and
their families into their community
of faith. These five programs— along
with Open and Affirming (Disciples of
Christ), Supportive Congregations
(Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming
(Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope
that the church can be a reconciled community.
Open Hands is published quarterly.
Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25
outside the U.S.). Single copies and back
issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more,
$4 each.
Subscriptions, letters to the editor,
manuscripts, requests for advertising
rates, and other correspondence should
be sent to:
Open Hands
3801 N. Keeler Avenue
Chicago, IL 60641
Phone: 773 / 736-5526
Fax: 773 / 736-5475
Member, The Associated Church Press
© 1997
Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc.
Open Hands is a registered trademark.
ISSN 0888-8833
w Printed on recycled paper.
CREATING SANCTUARY:
All Youth Welcome Here!
YOUTH SPEAK OUT!
Harassed at Age Twelve 4
TIMOTHY JONES-YELVINGTON
A teen reflects on the harassment he received two years
ago and the school’s refusal to protect him.
Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected 6
EDITOR
Jamie Nabozny wins nearly a million dollar settlement
from Wisconsin schools for their failure to protect him.
My Sanctuary 7
SERENITY BEALL
A lesbian teen reflects on the meaning of “sanctuary” in
her life.
My “Aunt Sue” 8
JEREMY MCCOY
A teen with two lesbian moms shares the importance of
his relationship with his second mom.
Out of the Mouth...of a Teen 9
MARSHA STEVENS
A lesbian mom shares two stories about her daughter’s
wisdom.
Two Schools, Two Approaches 10
NATASHA FAST, WITH MEGAN FAST
A teen reflects on her schools’ approaches to gay and
lesbian students’ need for support groups.
The College Network 12
MONICA HAINES
A college student leads discussion after an anti-gay
forum.
Does It Matter? 13
ANONYMOUS
A teen writes poetically of his experiences.
Summer 1997 3
NEXT ISSUE:
From Womb to Table:
Baptism and
Communion
Publisher
Mark Bowman
Editor
Mary Jo Osterman
Consultants
Trey Hall
James Preston
Designer
In Print—Jan Graves
Program Coordinators
Mark Bowman
Reconciling Congregation
Program, Inc. (UMC)
3801 N. Keeler Avenue
Chicago, IL 60641
773/736-5526
Ann B. Day
Open and Affirming
Program (UCC)
P.O. Box 403
Holden, MA 01520
508/856-9316
Bob Gibeling
Reconciled in Christ
Program (Lutheran)
2466 Sharondale Drive
Atlanta, GA 30305
404/266-9615
Dick Lundy
More Light Churches
Network (PCUSA)
5525 Timber Lane
Excelsior, MN 55331
612/470-0093
Brenda J. Moulton
Welcoming & Affirming
Baptists (ABC/USA)
P.O. Box 2596
Attleboro Falls, MA 02763
508/226-1945
Editorial Advisory Committee
Howard Bess, W&A
Ann Marie Coleman, ONA
Dick Hasbany, MLCN
Dorothy Klefstad, RIC
Sue Laurie, RCP
Tammy Lindahl, MLCN
Samuel E. Loliger, ONA
Tim Phillips, W&A
Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN
Dick Poole, RIC
Caroline Presnell, RCP
Paul Santillán, RCP
Joanne Sizoo, MLCN
Stuart Wright, RIC
SELECTED RESOURCES
26
ML PHOTO DISPLAY
27
WELCOMING COMMUNITIES
28
MOVEMENT NEWS
30
CREATING SAFE SPACE
A Call to Affirm Sexual Minority Youth 14
HAROLD M. BROCKUS
A pastor in Florida shares his church’s journey.
Learning about Jesus 16
TREY HALL
A student intern explores how we might reframe our
understanding of evangelism with queer youth.
Young, Gay, Dead: Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers 19
YOUTHA C. HARDMAN-CROMWELL
An RCP board member proposes five suggestions for
helping youth choose life.
My Son Mitchell 20
TERI SHUGART ERICKSON
A mother shares the story of her different son.
From Fear to Advocacy 23
SARAH M. REED
Another mother traces her journey after her fifteen year
old son was diagnosed as HIV+.
Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church? 24
JOHN HOFFMAN
Reflecting on Bernstein’s Mass, a public school educator
ponders on the lack of sanctuary for gays and lesbians.
SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT
“Home” 25
TIMOTHY C. MCGINLEY
“Can we gather here for refuge from the strife?”
ASIDES
Bill of Rights for Youth .................. 5
VIRGINIA URIBE
Prayer .......................................... 8
NATALIE COOK
Prayer ........................................ 10
LILLIANA RAMIREZ
MoSAIC ..................................... 11
Hetrick-Martin Institute ............... 11
Gay/Lesbian National Hotline ...... 12
BRAD BECKER
Biblical Affirmations for Teens ..... 17
MARY JO OSTERMAN
Common Errors and Clichés ........ 18
MELANY G. BURRILL
Youth Suicide Incidence .............. 19
HETRICK-MARTIN INSTITUTE
Children’s Sabbath Reading ........ 22
CRYSTAL SPRINGS UMC
4 Open Hands
I was walking home from school
alone on a mild January day when
I noticed a boy walking the same
direction on the other side of the street.
I’d never seen him before, so I ignored
him and kept walking.
Before long, he crossed the street and
began walking alongside me. Though
his presence made me nervous, I paid
no attention to him until he spoke.
“Do you know someone named
Stewart?” he said.
“Yes,” I said reluctantly, unsure why
he was asking the question.
Before I knew it, I was lying on the
ground, dazed, and the boy was gone. I
had been beaten up on the way home
from school. I’m not sure how long I
laid there before I finally got up and
walked the remaining four blocks
home.
The hurt went deeper than my
bruises. Only a few weeks earlier, I’d had
my arm broken by a kid in my gym class
while we were playing volleyball. I’ve
never liked volleyball, or any team sport
for that matter. Throughout the class
period, the kid kept insulting me and
others, screaming at anyone who didn’t
play well.
Finally, my pent-up anger from being
laughed at, harassed, and constantly
degraded by this boy and others came
out. I tried to kick the boy. He grabbed
my leg and performed some sort of karate-
style flip that left me on the ground
with a fractured elbow.
I was in the seventh grade— only 12
years old. I’d been attending the New
Jersey school where this incident happened
for two years. During that time,
I was the constant butt of other students’
jokes and was repeatedly harassed.
Kids labeled me “a girl” and
“gay” and “a fag” simply because of my
interest in performing, especially in
dance, and my disinterest in the commonly
accepted pastime for boys—competitive
team sports.
Most days I controlled my anger, but
every once in awhile I couldn’t take the
Harassed at Age Twelve
By Timothy Jones-Yelvington
insults any longer. After a few angry
responses, my reputation as an “unstable
person with an unpredictable
temper” spread quickly, and the namecalling
began. Other students called me
everything from “Tempro-tazm” to
“Timinator.”
Teachers, school administrators, and
my fellow students made me feel as
though the abuse was my fault. “Ignore
them,” I was told, or “Tell them they’re
hurting your feelings, but don’t hit
them.”
The one time I tried telling someone
she was hurting my feelings, the girl
laughed in my face and made a mocking
imitation of what I had said. A week
earlier, this girl had made fun of me for
what I was reading. When I made no
response to her insult, she had walked
away smugly saying to a friend, “I love
annoying Tim. It’s so much fun.”
But she wasn’t just annoying me. Her
words were slowly and painfully making
me feel inferior to her. They were
making me question myself and my
goal of becoming a dancer.
Being Mean Is Unnatural
Making someone feel that low, that
degraded, shouldn’t be fun. Kids
should not harass other kids for enjoyment.
Being so mean is not natural,
normal behavior for children— despite
those who say “boys will be boys” or
“kids can be so cruel.” A “normal” kid
doesn’t decide a boy is homosexual simply
because he is a dancer or a girl because
she plays sports rather than house.
A normal kid probably isn’t even sure
what it means to be homosexual, and
if he or she does, the kid doesn’t automatically
hate people because of their
sexual orientation.
To quote a song from Rodgers and
Hammerstein’s musical South Pacific:
“They have to be taught, carefully
taught, to hate.”
Our society must be a pretty good
teacher that so many kids in one New
Jersey town— a town with a reputation
YOUTH
SPEAK
OUT
Summer 1997 5
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for topnotch schools—could be so vicious.
The school was oblivious to the violence.
Counselors, teachers, and administrators
told me, “Toughen up. Kids are
mean, so learn to live with it. Life is
hard.”
Why should we learn to live with
violence? It shouldn’t be the accepted
norm, but rather something we hate
and work to eliminate.
Finding a Positive
Environment
After getting beat up and having my
arm broken, I was forced to move
to an independent school in New York
City. The public school refused to reprimand
the kid who broke my arm unless
I was also reprimanded. Since the
beating occurred off school grounds,
school officials refused to assume any
responsibility.
I’m much happier now. I’m in an
environment that works to dispel violence
rather than accept it as something
with which we must live. We have retreats
and programs on embracing diversity,
and our Internet contract requires
us to agree not to access or input
racist, sexist, or homophobic material.
A school-sponsored support group for
gay and lesbian parents models acceptance
of all people as created by God.
Being so mean is not
natural, normal
behavior for children—
despite those who say
“boys will be boys” or
“kids can be so cruel.”
I’m doing well, enjoying school and
dancing, but there are other kids who
are not so lucky as to have a grandmother
who can and will pay independent-
school tuition and a supportive
mom. Our public education system and
our society is failing them. These kids
face daily harassment.
Some are not as emotionally strong
as I was. They may allow the insults to
A Bill of Rights for All Youth
According to Dr. Virginia Uribe, Director
of Project Ten, every young person
should be entitled to:
✘ Attend school and other youth programs
free of verbal and physical harassment
✘ Have enforced a standard of respect
and dignity for all
✘ Have access to accurate information,
free of negative judgment, delivered
by trained adults who both inform
and affirm all youth
✘ Have positive role models available
in person, in school curricula, and in
program implementation
✘ Be included in support programs
that help them deal with the difficulties
of adolescence and find their
way to self-acceptance.
Source: Ann Thompson Cook and Wayne Pawlowski,
“Youth and Homosexuality,” Issue Paper
#3, Respect All Youth Project, PFLAG,
1991. Adapted from Virginia Uribe, Project
Ten Handbook.
cut even deeper than I did. Many will
emerge as angry, bitter adults or as insecure
people who can never be happy.
Stopping Harassment
We need to stop harassment based
on perceived sexual orientation
and gender stereotyping. We need to
fight this violence—both the emotional
and physical violence—wherever we can
in our homes, our communities, and
our churches. We need to see where kids
are being hurt, and we need to be there
for those kids.
Most importantly, we need to be
aware of the pain so many experience,
and we need to educate others to it. We
need to stop teaching hate and start
building a just, peaceful world.▼
Timothy Jones-Yelvington, age 14, will be
in the 10th grade at Elisabeth Irwin High
School in Greenwich Village, New York
City, in the fall of 1997. He is a student at
the School of American Ballet in Lincoln
Center. He is a self-avowed, practicing
United Methodist.
6 Open Hands
Jamie Nabozny—now 21 years old—
suffered years of physical and verbal
harassment while attending
middle school and high school in
Ashland, Wisconsin. Until recently, students
like Jamie had little or no recourse—
and certainly few if any legal
precedents— to demand equal treatment
under the law. However, in July 1996
the Lambda Legal Defense and Education
Fund won the “first federal appellate
lawsuit challenging anti-gay violence
in the schools.” With Lambda’s
help and thanks to the decision of the
Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals, Jamie
won the right to sue his school for the
abuse and harassment he suffered while
a student in Ashland schools. According
to Lambda, “The court ruled that
public schools, and school officials as
individuals, may have to pay monetary
damages for failing to address studenton-
student anti-gay abuse. Jamie’s initial
victory is meaningful to other
students because the court found it unacceptable
to respond to anti-gay abuse
by saying ‘boys will be boys’ or by saying
that these students should expect
abuse because they are gay.”
Ground-Breaking Case: Gay Youth Protected
Sources
Kurt Chandler, “A Reluctant
Hero,” The Advocate (28 May
1996), pp. 29-34; A Lambda Legal
Defense and Education Fund
fundraising letter and attached
letter by Jamie Nabozny, October
1996; and Patricia M. Logue,
“Near $1 Million Settlement
Raises Standard for Protection of
Gay Youth,” The Lambda UpDate
(Winter 1997), pp. 1, 8.
The Outcome
Among other things, the appellate
court found that “The Equal Protection
Clause does…require the state
to treat each person with equal regard,
as having equal worth, regardless
of his or her status.”
Lambda UpDate writer Patricia
Logue details the outcome of the
November 1996 trial: Seven Midwestern
jurors “found Jamie’s public
school principals during middle
school and high school were liable
to him for violating his constitutional
right to equal protection from
harm by repeatedly refusing to come
to his aid when he was beat up in
school for being gay.” Soon after the
jury verdict, the two sides agreed on
a “nearly $1 million settlement, a figure
further punctuating the message
that there is a high price to pay for
ignoring abuse of lesbian and gay
students.”
In Jamie’s Own Words
“D ay after day, I was called derogatory
names and pinched and
kicked, coming home with bruises….
There were so many incidents that I
can’t remember them all. But I’ll never
forget some of the worst. In seventh
grade, after my teacher left the classroom
for a short time, two boys pinned
me to the floor for several minutes and
pretended to rape me. The rest of the
class just watched and laughed. In the
ninth grade, two boys pushed me into
the urinal and pissed on me. One of my
teachers called me a ‘fag’ and threw me
out of his class. In tenth grade, ten boys
trapped me in a hallway and one wearing
cowboy boots kicked me in the
stomach so hard and so many times that
I had to be hospitalized with internal
bleeding….
“Despite promises from the school,
none of my harassers was ever suspended,
expelled, or kept at a safe distance.
School officials treated me like I
was the problem. Worse than that, I
started to feel like I was the problem….
“Even as the school tried to isolate
me from the other kids, the harassment
intensified. I attempted suicide three
times during high school because of the
abuse and was hospitalized each time….
“I sued the school district because
of its total failure to protect me…. The
trial court ruled against me, and my case
would have ended there if Lambda
hadn’t filed an appeal on my behalf….”
—Editor
Summer 1997 7
What is sanctuary? For many
queer* youth, “sanctuary”
carries a very negative connotation.
It refers to a safety and protection
that many of us cannot find
within the church environment. As a
younger child I was very spiritual, believing
in the spirit and guidance of
something great within all of us as humans
and as beings. I remember growing
up using prayers for the protection
of myself and others as a bedtime ritual.
Meditation even entered my life at the
age of ten, and I began to read the Course
in Miracles, thinking it would give me a
path to finding myself. All of this did
encourage my coming out of the closet
as a lesbian at age fourteen, but as I
came out, I began to lose faith in organized
religion.
I went through two years of a very
draining questioning process. Constantly,
thoughts of suicide would
plague my mind. To think that I could
possibly be seen as completely different
from everyone else was a horror I
had never encountered and never
thought possible. I decided I was going
to lead a miserable life as a straight
woman, constantly lying to myself and
others about how happy I was. I would
grow up with boyfriends and eventually
have a husband because at least
then I wouldn’t have to deal with odd
looks and possible legal struggles. I desperately
wanted to have kids so I, of
course, would have to be with a man. I
was, and am, a very affectionate person.
Dating had always been something I
wanted to explore, but of course there
were no gays my age. I wouldn’t be able
to get a date until I was at least twenty.
So why not just go out with men and
pretend it’s fun? Hey, it’s some sort of
affection, right? All of these false concepts
and hypotheses ran through my
mind day in and day out. Finally, I decided
to figure out whether I was really
queer or not.
I turned to the Unity church in my
home town because that is where my
parents attended and I was told that it
was a very liberal church. The youth
My Sanctuary
By Serenity Beall
group was wonderful because I could
be myself there without having to tell
anyone what was going on inside me. I
could explore my bounds on a so-called
vision quest and I could test my belief
in their view of god. I began to grow
more accustomed to the idea of “queerness”
entering my life.
That youth group even
provided me with an
experimental boyfriend.
I would ask myself every
time I went out with him,
whether I really felt comfortable
or not. I even began
to believe I was comfortable
just because of my
constant jabbering about
him in my head. Yet, at the
Melissa Etheridge concert
that I dragged my boyfriend
to I felt truly proud of who I
was for the first time. I wanted
to replace that guy in my head with a
woman. When I finally told him a week
later that I was pretty sure I was a lesbian,
he told me that he was pretty sure
that he was not straight either. Thus my
questioning ended and a period of coming
out of the closet began.
I came out to my close relatives
rather quickly because I knew that my
uncle was gay and they would most
likely have no problem with it. Shortly
after that, my extended family and my
friends came to find out how I was.
Now it was time for church. I felt that
I would be immediately accepted there
because of the new age philosophy and
the liberal nature of things. But this was
only partially true. I found a few adults
who sponsored the younger youth
group who accepted me completely. In
them I found an understanding and acceptance
I hadn’t found before. It was
a whole different matter when I moved
to the high school youth group. Every
time I brought up my nature, the subject
was quickly redirected. I felt like
an outcast with every pair of eyes either
averted from me or staring intensely
at me. I soon discovered that the
minister had refused to marry a lesbian
couple and even refused permission to
the assistant minister to marry them. I
decided that organized religion was not
for me and I left the church, rarely going
to sermons or youth group meetings.
It is difficult to find
sanctuary in church because
there are so many
boundaries that a queer
youth must break
through just to gain
acceptance. Yet acceptance
is only a first
step for a church and
congregation. To say
that someone is
acceptable merely
means that he or
she is approved
and satisfactory.
It also carries the
thought that there is something
to be accepted. In a truly open and affirming
church there needs to be not
only acceptance but also love and admiration.
The doors must not only be
open to their presence, but also to their
ceremony and prayer. One step further
would be genderless sermons and an absence
of assumptions based on sexual
orientation and sexual identity. That
would be the ideal sanctuary for me and
many of my friends.
Until I find a church like the one I
have just painted, I will continue to
make nature and meditation my sanctuary.
For there I know I am protected
and understood. There isn’t a tree in the
world that cares how long my hair is
and who I will love.▼
Editor’s Note
*Queer is an all-encompassing, positive
word often used by youth and young adults
in the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered
community, as well as by many others.
Serenity Beall is a 16-year-old lesbian
living in Boulder, Colorado. She is very involved
in the queer community and is helping
her mother and stepfather start an open
and affirming church called Unity Circle
of Longmont in Colorado.
8 Open Hands
Throughout my growing up years,
she was known as Aunt Sue.
Some of my earliest memories
involve experiences with her. She has
become one of the most special and inspirational
people in my life. From my
asking her to marry me at about age five
to our Super Bowl parties on the couch
in my junior high days, she has always
shared in the great, as well as the not so
great, times in my life.
She and my mother have had a very
special relationship for as long as I can
remember. From what I assume, Sue
was the shoulder my mom cried on
through my parents’ divorce. At that
time Sue was out of state, so they spent
a lot of time on the phone and paid each
other numerous visits during the weekends.
Occasionally my sister and I
would travel along. For me, these trips
were some of the most memorable of
my life. We would spend the days swimming,
playing pool, and numerous
other unforgettable activities. This went
on for about two years, during which
time it became very clear that the relationship
between my mom and Sue was
changing quite a bit.
I wasn’t really surprised that cold
winter evening when they “came out
of the closet” to my sister and me. I
guess it was just eased into so much and
we had enough warning signs to know
what was going on. It wasn’t easy, just
like any time a stepparent enters the
picture. Sue’s expectations and demands
were different from ones we had
encountered previously. I’m not completely
sure the transition is complete
yet. However, I do believe that we have
come as close to a “normal” family as
any other family. The foundation of any
family is love, and I can honestly say
that I love Sue. It makes no difference
to me whether Sue is of blood relation
to me; the point is that we have built a
family. I doubt that there are two people
My “Aunt Sue”
By Jeremy McCoy
“When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite.”
–William Blake
in this world who love and care for my
sister and me as much as my moms.
Unfortunately, the hardest part of
this transition had nothing to do with
my family. The hardest part was to decide
who was “safe” or “unsafe” to tell
about my family configuration. A lot of
people still view homosexuals as subhuman
or evil. It is hard for some people
to accept what they are not, but most
often it is what they don’t know that
causes their hatred.
I have been fortunate enough to become
acquainted with many gay and
lesbian people in my community and
church and amongst my peers. Gay and
lesbian people share the same hopes
and dreams that straight people have.
They are looking to better themselves,
to find love, and to find happiness just
like you and me. However, when many
people picture a homosexual individual
they see a crazed person who is only
interested in hitting on them. This portrait
would be like believing that, just
because a few white people murder, all
white people are murderers. It is just
not the way it is. Until people have the
chance to become acquainted with a
non-stereotypical homosexual, they
will never understand this.
No two people are alike. For this I
would hope everyone is thankful. Picture
a world where everyone is the same,
especially a world where everyone is just
like you. Depressing isn’t it? We all want
to be judged by our character content,
not by the things that we have no control
over. Whether it be a physical or
mental handicap, skin color, or sexual
orientation, we still want to be viewed
and treated on an even plane with everyone
else. It is my belief that when we
see each other as one of “us” and celebrate
each person’s diversity the groundwork
will be laid for world peace.▼
Jeremy McCoy and his sister and his two
moms attend Findlay Street Christian
Church in Seattle, Washington.
God, help me to realize
that it doesn’t matter what
clothes people wear, how they
cut their hair, or what color
their skin is. We are all the
same in your eyes, and with
this awareness your children
can move forward as a family.
Discrimination deprives
people of not only their civil
rights but their human
dignity. To overcome the evil
challenges of our life we must
turn to Christ, the good news
of Jesus. Everyone deserves
the love that you taught us
to give to each other. I guess I
am petitioning you not to
miraculously solve a problem
but to allow for an individual
understanding of the violation
against you and your
word that blatant prejudice
and discrimination commit.
—Nakela Cook
John Carroll High School,
Birmingham, Alabama
Source
Reprinted from Dreams Alive: Prayers by
Teenagers. Edited by Carol Koch. Saint
Mary’s Press, Winona, MN, 1991. Used by
permission of publisher. All rights reserved.
Jeremy with his mother Arlene (left)
and his “other mother” Susan
Summer 1997 9
Sometimes “a little child shall lead
them” comes true even in the wilderness.
I have always loathed the
times someone has fixed me with a
doleful stare and said, “How do your
children deal with your lifestyle?” My
knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Better
than you do, obviously.” Clearly
these people are seeing my life
as a tragedy, particularly one
foisted upon my innocent offspring.
But far more often, my
kids are the ones to keep me
on track and grounded in reality.
Two times come to mind
with my daughter. Once as a
young teenager, she asked if a
boy she liked could attend a
family function. I told her this
was an event where I did not
want to have to be careful not
to call my lover “dear” or
avoid holding hands. She
looked mildly incredulous.
“Is that the only reason he
can’t come?” I said it was.
Not a minute later she was
Out of the Mouth…of a Teen
By Marsha Stevens
back, telephone in hand, “OK, he knows
you’re a lesbian. Now can he come?”
Flabbergasted, I asked how he had received
this news. Now, she was exasperated.
“Mom, he would care if I was
gay!”
Another time I
had been approached
to have the story of
my coming out condensed
and included
in someone else’s
book. I told my daughter
about the request
and expressed my concern
that, since the book
had a particularly inflammatory
title, it might get back
to her— especially since she
still attended a Christian
school. She nodded. Yes, this
was true. “Well,” I pursued,
“I’m afraid that might be embarrassing
for you.” It might,
she conceded. I said, “Honey, I
need a little better answer than
that. I need to get back to this
woman with an answer.” Now,
for some reason I didn’t quite see coming,
I had her attention. “You didn’t give
her an answer, Mom? What are you
gonna say? ‘No, I won’t tell you what Jesus
has done in my life’?”
Out of the mouths of—well, even
teenagers— come paths of clarity out of
the wilderness. No, gay mother, you are
not the center of the universe. And, yes,
Mom, you are called to give an answer
to anyone who asks, to give a reason
for the hope that is within you—still.▼
Marsha Stevens was active in ministry for
many years in mainstream contemporary
Christian music, recording for Maranatha!,
Word, Light/Lexicon, and EMI. She
is best known, perhaps, for her song “For
Those Tears I Died
(Come to the Water).”
Since coming out sixteen
years ago, she
writes and sings for
the gay and lesbian
Christian community.
AD
10 Open Hands
During my freshman year I attended
a large public school in
Chicago that draws students
from all over the city. These kids form
a very diverse student body, encompassing
many ethnic backgrounds, different
cultures, and viewpoints. This has been
both a blessing and a curse for the
school. It is wonderful for students to
have a place where almost anyone can
find a place to fit in. However, the diversity
there can create tension as well.
Since I transferred out two years ago,
some major changes have taken place
at my old school.
My Old School
Two years ago, a lesbian student decided
to start a group for gay, lesbian,
and bisexual students. Rumors
had been going around school about
her sexuality for a long time and she
wanted to start a club where she and
others could be open and not worry
about being ridiculed. She followed the
normal procedures for starting a club,
and gave her request to the administration.
Most clubs take about a week to become
officially recognized by the
school. However, this club took about
six months. During this time they called
themselves a support group. They met
and discussed issues that gay and lesbian
students face, but they did not have
many activities. Although they were not
an officially recognized club, they did
Two Schools, Two Approaches
By Natasha Fast, with Megan Fast
have three faculty sponsors: two school
counselors and an English teacher.
The students’ first request for their
group was denied. However, they asked
the principal to reconsider and they circulated
petitions for students to show
their support for the club. At first, many
students were reluctant to sign. Many
said that they did not approve of the
gay/lesbian/bisexual lifestyle and others
were afraid that if they signed people
would assume that they were gay. The
club members argued that although not
all students practiced or approved of all
the religions that had special clubs,
these clubs were allowed to exist. After
much hard work by the students, over
200 signature were collected.
The club now has about twenty
members and meets once or twice a
week. They often bring guest speakers
to their meetings. A lawyer spoke with
them about laws concerning hate
crimes. Many reporters come to their
meetings because it is rare for a public
school to have a gay and lesbian club.
My Current School
I have spent my sophomore and junior
years at another public school,
but one with quite a different atmosphere.
The Illinois Mathematics and
Science Academy (IMSA) is the only
public boarding high school in Illinois.
Because it is a boarding school, it differs
from other high schools in many
ways. Students have a lot more freedom
to express views and do things that their
parents and home communities might
not like. I found IMSA to be much more
accepting of gay and lesbian students
than my previous high school. It is not
uncommon to see students cross-dressing
at IMSA, a practice that would have
been considered unacceptable, both by
the school administration and the students,
at my old school.
Because IMSA is a residential high
school, the school has to deal with the
social lives of students much more. For
example, at IMSA we have something
called intervisitations. In order for a student
to be in a wing for students of the
opposite sex, she must obtain an intervisitation
(popularly called interviz)
pass from the residential counselor.
There are also special interviz rules: students
must keep the door propped at a
ninety degree angle; students can’t be
lying down; they must have all the lights
on and be fully clothed.
Last year, several meetings were held
to discuss the possibility of having
same-sex intervizes. Many straight students
complained that it was unfair to
restrict heterosexual sexual behavior,
while homosexual students were free to
do as they wished behind closed doors.
Technically, any sort of sexual behavior
by students while they are on campus
is against the rules. However, some
say that the rules are biased against heterosexual
couples.
Instituting same-sex intervizes had
many problems. Obviously, interviz
rules can not be in effect whenever two
students are in a room together. The
question then became how to decide
when a same-sex interviz is necessary.
Asking every student about their sexual
orientation was out of the question. The
final decision was to consider same-sex
intervizes on a case by case basis.
This past year was the first year that
IMSA had a club for gay and lesbian students.
It is called Spectrum. Unlike the
club at my old school, Spectrum is not
a haven for gay, lesbian, and bisexual
students who feel rejected by many of
Dear God,
When I see the pain and suffering surrounding me,
I feel trapped,
wanting nothing more than to escape.
Please God,
Give me the strength, every day of my life,
to face my troubles up front
and to help others when they are in need of it.
May you stay with me every day of my life, God.
Source
Reprinted from Dreams Alive:
Prayers by Teenagers. Edited
by Carol Koch. Saint Mary’s
Press, Winona, MN, 1991.
Used by permission of publisher.
All rights reserved.
—Lilliana Ramirez
Saint Augustine Religious Education, Culver City, California
Summer 1997 11
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their peers. Because IMSA’s students are
so much more open-minded, the club
is more a social organization than a way
for students to find support.
During this past year, Spectrum has
held many activities. They have sponsored
movie nights and publicized gay
and lesbian history month around the
school. The club is also starting a reading
group. Next year, they hope to hold
a film series, a dance, and activities for
national coming out day (11 October).
They also hope to bring in speakers
from the occupations that the members
are interested in, to speak about what it
is like to be gay or lesbian in that field.
Although IMSA may have a very
open-minded student body, it depends
on the state legislature for its funding.
This means that many political issues
get played out in IMSA’s policies. For
example, Spectrum recently wanted to
take a group of students into Chicago
to go shopping at stores that cater to
gays and lesbians. Their request to take
a van was denied because the trip would
“put IMSA in the position of endorsing
or appearing to endorse a particular
lifestyle.”
It is unfortunate that IMSA must
worry about how to best meet the needs
of its students while conforming to the
state’s political agendas. However, for
me, it has been wonderful to find a place
where kids can explore their sexualities
without pressure from their family and
with support from their friends.▼
Natasha Fast currently
attends the Illinois
Mathematics and Science
Academy, where
she is about to start her
senior year. She is on
the soccer team and
the swim team. She is
also a member of the
Reconciling Congregation Program’s Youth
and Young Adult Task Force.
Megan Fast plays soccer
and volleyball. She
enjoys travel and
camping. She will be a
freshman next year.
She collaborated on
and helped research
this article.
MoSAIC
Methodist Students for an
All-Inclusive Church
Established in May 1996 by a group
of concerned college and university students,
MoSAIC seeks to dismantle the
ecclesial systems of oppression against
lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered
peoples in order to bring about the inclusive
justice of God’s vision. The group
publishes Tapestry, a quarterly newsletter
mailed to all Reconciling United Methodist
students and Campus Ministries.
In the second issue of Tapestry, MoSAIC
co-chair Trey Hall notes, “We must continue
to struggle with a ‘revolutionary
patience,’ refusing to relinquish our vision
of hope that one day all people
may be liberated. The centrality of our
faith as a reconciling people is that we
can live together amidst our differences,
that because of the different hues,
shapes, and textures of our individual
threads and experiences, we can fully
celebrate the way that God fashions our
diversity and simultaneously weaves us
into one tapestry.”
For more information, contact:
MoSAIC, Reconciling Congregation Program,
3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago,
IL 60641-3007. 773/736-5526.
The Hetrick-Martin
Institute
Founded in 1979, the Hetrick-Martin
Institute (HMI) is a not-for-profit social
service, education, and advocacy organization.
HMI serves lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender youth, homeless
youth, youth with HIV, and all youth coming
to terms with their sexuality. It
reaches youth in New York City and is
accessible from New Jersey and Connecticut.
Case management and consultation
service are offered nationwide. HMI
serves more than 7,000 youth each year
through a broad range of services, including
counseling, an after-school Drop-
In Center, the Harvey Milk School,
training services for both youth and professionals,
Project First Step for homeless
youth, and the National Advocacy
Coalition on Youth and Sexual Orientation.
Many more youth are reached over
the phone by counselors and on the
streets by outreach workers.
For more information, contact
Hetrick-Martin Institute, 2 Astor Place,
New York, NY 10003-6998. 212/674-
2400.
AD
12 Open Hands
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The man, who identified himself
as an ex-gay—someone who had
turned from the “sin” of homosexuality—
spoke of God speaking to
him and of being given the choice of
either dying from AIDS or turning away
from being gay. This was to a room of
400-500 people as well as to the community
via the college radio broadcast
system. I sat there among some friends,
in shock and disbelief— concerned that
those who heard believed every word
he said, believed that was what being
gay was about. He spoke about the gay
bars and the “seediness” of it. That
wasn’t what my life was about and I
didn’t want people to think that’s what
all of us beautiful people were about
After this chapel presentation, I had
asked the speakers to stay and join us
in a panel discussion that I had organized
in order to combat the messages
that were given. Instead of staying, they,
along with the campus pastor, left,
speedily— and I began to cry. I was so
overwhelmed, so terrified, so afraid, that
those who believed their message
wouldn’t stay. I believed that was everyone.
However, a majority of people
stayed for the discussion and it was a
The College Network
By Monica Haines
good one. It started off with two professors
speaking, one who formerly was
a Southern Baptist preacher and the
other who leads Prejudice Reduction
Workshops. At first, the discussion was
angry, Bibles were pulled out, and everyone
was proving each other right or
wrong. Then the stories came. People
told of their sorrows and joys, their
thoughts and their concerns. They
shared their experiences. It was the first
time that a majority of the campus community
had had a discussion about homosexuality.
Fortunately, I had the resources
within and the support around me to
organize a response to these actions.
Others on other campuses aren’t so
lucky. At Goshen College, students were
dumbstruck as they came to the campus
center and found that the “Opinion
Board,” which had many discussion
papers on homosexuality, was burned—
destroyed— in an attempt to “shut them
up.” But it did not work; they kept on
meeting, discussing, organizing. They
were not silenced. In Iowa, a female student
has no problem being accepted as
a lesbian, but she feels she has no one
to turn to and talk with about being a
Christian.
These are reasons why we have The
College Network (TCN). TCN gives gay,
lesbian, and bisexual young people opportunities
to share their experiences
and find support as they come out to
family, friends, and their communities.
TCN also provides alumni/ae of Brethren
and Mennonite colleges, parents,
and friends with opportunities to actively
support these young people.
TCN currently has an e-mail network,
which provides a safe space to
share experiences and thoughts on the
college campus or in the community.
You can tell your own story. About being
young and being gay. About being
a parent and seeing your child struggle
or suffer. About being a friend who
Gay & Lesbian National
Hotline
By Brad Becker
The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
(GLNH) was started from an idea of six
people two years ago after the Gay &
Lesbian Pride March in New York City. It
was felt that there were vast areas of the
country that did not have access to a
local switchboard or hotline for information
and peer-counseling. Where a local
switchboard did exist, many times the
hours and services were erratic.
After a year of planning, the GLNH
opened on 1 October 1996. In the seven
months since, our all-volunteer organization
has answered thousands of calls for
help. We provide information and referrals
for local cities across the country. We
maintain the largest resource list of its
kind in the world, with over 15,000 local
referrals in our database.
We also provide anonymous and free
peer-counseling. A large percentage of
our calls are received from teens who are
questioning their sexuality. Many callers
have never knowingly spoken with a gay
or lesbian person before. Our volunteers
are trained in effective listening techniques
so we can help a caller begin to
focus on their many feelings. We also
integrate safer-sex information at the
same time.
TO CONTACT GLNH
1-888-THE-GLNH
(M-F eves. 6-11 p.m. eastern)
e-mail: glnh@glnh.org
www site: www.glnh.org
Brad Becker is exective director of GLNH.
didn’t understand why your friend
dropped out of school, was kicked out
of the dorm, or committed suicide. TCN
welcomes individuals with or without
e-mail to join our mailing list.▼
If you would like to participate in The
College Network, contact Monica Haines
at PO Box 2696, Auburn AL 36831-2696,
334/821-8041, mooream@mail.auburn.edu.
Summer 1997 13
My father asked if I am gay.
I asked, Does it matter?
He said no, not really.
I said yes.
He said, get out of my life.
I guess it mattered.
My boss asked if I am gay.
I asked, Does it matter?
He said no, not really.
I told him yes.
He said, you’re fired, faggot.
I guess it mattered.
My friend asked if I am gay.
I asked, Does it matter?
He said no, not really.
I said yes.
He said, don’t call me your friend.
I guess it mattered.
My lover asked, Do you love me?
I asked, Does it matter?
He said yes.
I told him, “I love you.”
He said, let me hold you in my arms.
My God asked, Do you love yourself?
I asked, Does it matter?
He said yes.
I said, how can I love myself?
I am gay.
He said, that is what I made you.
Nothing again will ever matter.
Source
This poem is reprinted with permission from Voice of the Turtle (Winter 1997), a publication of American Baptists Concerned.
Does It Matter?
14 Open Hands
For us it was life imitating scripture:
God calls; we respond. We
did not find or seek our ten-yearold
ministry with sexual minority
youth; the ministry found us. Looking
back, we see that it was and remains a
call from God.
It began in 1985 when a Good Samaritan
Church member called the pastor
to ask for help with gay and lesbian
adolescents. The mission committee
and the Session authorized a decent
Reformed Tradition study in the community.
The research revealed an alarming
level of stress and suicide among
adolescents. More alarming was the utter
lack of support for teens struggling
with issues of sexual orientation.
The study task force asked human
service organizations in the county to
respond. One offered counseling slots;
all others declined. Letters were sent to
235 mainline churches in the county.
Not one responded. Calls to churches
and pastors known for their justice ministries
elicited “too hot to handle” responses.
Answering a Call
With reluctance and a sense of inadequacy,
the Session voted in
January 1987 to begin a support ministry
for gay and lesbian adolescents, the
first in the metropolitan Tampa Bay area
which has a population exceeding one
million.
The new ministry was presented to
the congregation in a series followed by
feedback meetings led by Session members.
Members of the church shared stories,
from their own life experiences,
about family members and friends who
had suffered the ravages of homophobia.
Good Samaritan was not well-suited
to develop this particular ministry. The
church closet and the “don’t ask, don’t
tell” tradition of mainline churches
have left us isolated and ignorant of the
A Call to Affirm
Sexual Minority Youth
By Harold M. Brockus
experiences of brothers and sisters who
are gay, bisexual, and transgendered.
However, a long-term pastorate, a history
of risky ventures in community
organization and ministry, and a variety
of conflicts had fortified the church
for its new covenant in spite of dogged
resistance in the church and community.
A ministry board of mental health
professionals and gay and lesbian activists
was recruited to work with designated
church members in managing
this non-sectarian ministry under the
Session. We publicized the first support
meeting in May 1987 through an ad in
a gay weekly and by word of mouth.
The two adult advisors pulled up folding
chairs under the church oak tree
when it was time to start the first gathering.
Several cars packed with young
people circled the church slowly. Finally
one car pulled in, parked, and unloaded.
Others followed. True Expressions was
launched.
The ministry has prospered, has
added a second weekly program for gay,
lesbian, and bisexual young adults, has
been a model for other new groups in
the state of Florida, and has provided
training for mental health professionals
in the community.
Hearing the Testimonies
It’s been a painful, exciting, and transforming
journey. Some 400 young
people have participated. Personal testimonies
abound. David, a young adult
participating in the youth group remarks:
“True Expressions is a way to talk
about what I really feel outside of parental
attempts to put heterosexual influence
in my life. True Expressions has
done wonders!” Shaun, another regular
attendee, acknowledges that “True
Expressions has provided a place away
from the bar scene to meet other gay
people dealing with issues like I am
dealing with.” Jim W., a young man
CREATING
SAFE
SPACE
Summer 1997 15
involved with the board of the organization
allows that “True Expressions is
a place where I can go for unconditional
support.”
Ministering to our Own
The church is in a strategic position
to minister to sexual minority
youth. We have a tradition of youth
ministry, the facilities, and staff to serve.
We are not vulnerable to the vicious and
homophobic accusation (as gay groups
are) of “recruiting” youth—presumably
to become gay.
More importantly we are a covenant
community called to embrace the outcast
and the stranger. Fulfilling that call
in ministry to sexual minority youth
means facing our own demons as well
as those in church and society.
Of course, it is a call to minister to
our own. These young people are our
children and grandchildren. They are
family. They are at risk. Their cries fill
the night. Their tears fall silent in the
closets of our fears. God help us to hear,
see, and respond with compassion.▼
Harold M. Brockus, M.Div., D.Min., combines
a dual career as pastor (over 25 years)
of Good Samaritan Church (a joint More
Light Presbyterian and ONA United
Church of Christ congregation)
in Pinellas
Park, Florida, and as
an organization development
consultant
on staff at Eckerd College
in St. Petersburg,
Florida.
16 Open Hands
To say that this parent, along with
the overwhelming majority of
parents and other laity and clergy
in our churches, is homophobic is concurrently
to simplify and under-articulate
the issue. Homophobia is the fear
and hatred of those who sexually love
members of their own gender. Much of
the time with youth, it is an internal
fear, insecurity, and frequent self-loathing
of one’s entire being.
How else do you explain a fear that
causes most youth to wait until their
college-age years or beyond, when they
can leave their family and church, to
deal with their sexuality?
How else do you explain a fear that
leads parents to inundate a pastor’s office
with calls and faxes when the mere
word “gay” or “lesbian” is mentioned
in a discussion?
Learning about Jesus
By Trey Hall
Reframing our understanding of evangelism with queer youth
“So, how could you bring up homosexual people in your Sunday school
class?” a parent asked, outraged at the issues her daughter had talked
about openly at the family lunch earlier that afternoon.
“Well, I didn’t bring it up. One of the youth mentioned gay and lesbian
people in the course of our discussion. But, don’t you think that our group
should engage in a more formal discussion about sexuality?”
“No!” the parent gasped. “This is church!”
“If the church isn’t an appropriate place for an honest and candid discussion,
I don’t know what is. Staggering numbers of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual youth are confused about themselves, especially about how their
sexual feelings mesh with their religious and spiritual beliefs.”
“But what if your discussion encourages some of them to ‘explore’ themselves
to the point that they begin to wonder if they are homosexual?”
“Then they will be at a point that many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people
don’t reach until much later in life, if they ever reach it.”
“I don’t want my daughter to be a homosexual.” Frustrated, the woman
walked out of my office.
How else do you explain a fear that
provokes other youth to act coldly and
indifferently to a newcomer rumored
to be lesbian or gay?
Youth Realities
Justin* was the first gay youth I ever
met. I was leading a winter conference
retreat for several youth in the
mountains of Nevada. When I
arrived to the retreat center
amidst a crowd of youth eager
to begin the program, I
saw Justin notice the small
rainbow ribbon tied to the
zipper of my backpack. Later
that night, as I was preparing
for the next day’s activities,
Justin appeared,
“unable to sleep.” He
asked me about my ribbon,
and I explained that it was a symbol
of solidarity and pride for lesbian,
gay, and bisexual folks. My explanation
began a wellspring of questions. Justin
came out to me, the first “church person”
(as he called me) with whom he
had felt comfortable discussing his
sexuality. He told me of his mother, a
Christian educator in a large Southwestern
church, who despite her years of
training and experience, would not deal
with the fact that her son is gay. He told
me of his circle of friends, both at
church and at school, that would never
again speak to him if they knew his “secret.”
It was an experience of grace and
pain for both of us, as I understood too
fully his grief.
A year and a half later, I answered
the phone at the Reconciling Congregation
Program, where I serve as campus
intern. After my greeting, I expected
a typical question—only to wait in silence
for a response. “Hello?” I asked
twice. And then a frail and sobbing
voice spoke:
“Can you help me? My parents
found my journal and threw me out
because I’m a lesbian. I’ve called my
minister and he won’t have anything
to do with me. He told me to come back
only when I’ve given up my lifestyle. I
have nowhere to go.” I listened to
Anne*, a sixteen-year-old youth from
Texas, and tried to help by giving her
the numbers of a crisis support line and
some supportive pastors in her
area. I wish Anne was the
only youth I know who has
been disowned because
of her sexual orientation.
Homophobia,
sometimes known only
by statistics, scholarly
definitions or institutional
attitudes, becomes a
story of pain and hatred experienced
by too many youth.
Summer 1997 17
In my college summers as a youth
director, I have met many youth who I
believe are lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
Most are reluctant to share with the
group anything personal about themselves,
for fear that even a subtle question
or gesture would reveal their feelings
and align them with constant
slandering and gossip.
So when Jason* asked in the middle
of our senior high Sunday school
discussion, “Trey, what do you think
about gay and lesbian people?” he put
himself at risk. He mentioned words
that could brand him a “queer” or “faggot-
lover” in the eyes of the youth
group, his treasured community of
friends and faith.
Natural Sex?
The ensuing class discussion, in
which we talked about the realities
of gay and lesbian people in society,
caused five parents to show up at the
next day’s staff meeting. I began to review
the youth programming agenda
and informed the pastor that the youth
group would, at its request, begin a fall
study series on human sexuality, which
would include material on homosexuality.
The parents objected immediately,
their planned reaction summed up by
a nominated spokesperson:
“We don’t want our children to be
subjected to learning about such things.
That kind of sex just isn’t natural!”
“But what is natural sex, Mr. Turner*?
Only sex between a male and a
female? Well, rape fits that definition;
it’s between a male and female. Is that
natural? My aunt, who’s an emergency
room nurse, tells me stories of little girls
brought in for medical treatment because
their stomachs are full of ejaculate
or because their vaginas have been
ripped apart by an adult man’s penis. Is
that natural sex?”
“Oh, you mean sex between mutually
consenting adults, man and woman.
Will you then want to clarify the type
of sex between consenting adult males
and females that is normal? Must it be
one woman and one man, or can it be
two men and one woman? Must it be
strictly the missionary position, man on
top? Vaginal only, or will you allow oral
sex, too? Must there be love for sex to
be normal, or is a marriage license
enough? Someone, please tell me what
is natural sex?” I could see the parents
blushing.
“Obviously,” Mr. Turner retorted
quickly, “this is not a youth issue. This
is not even an adult issue for church.
We need to learn about Jesus.”
I laughed inside as I remembered
that it was talking about Jesus and his
teachings that invited Jason to ask about
gay and lesbian people.
Jesus’ Message
The parents’ concerns accurately represent
the “hush-hush” polemic of
the institutional church today. The
problem lies with a trite and superficial
view of evangelism and a limited and
parochial understanding of God’s righteousness
and justice. Youth groups and
churches are afraid to invite youth of
all sexual orientations to their group.
Christian educators are satisfied using
curricula whose heterocentric biases
ignore the struggles of lesbian, gay, and
bisexual people.
In order to counteract the homophobia
and erotophobia that silence so
many youth, we must reframe our understanding
of the Gospel. Take for example
the scandal that confronts us
each day as gay and lesbian youth face
rejection and abuse in all areas of their
lives. We know that, ethically, this abuse
is wrong. The question then becomes
“What can we do about it?” We know
that long-term programming must be
considered, ranging from education to
community involvement. But the disciple
knows that God’s righteousness is
more ➟
Biblical Affirmations for Teens—And All of Us!
1. “God honored us long ago by making us heirs without regard for our
differences.” (Galatians 3:28-29)
2. “You are called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom for self-indulgence.
Live so that the gifts of the Spirit are visible in and through you.”
(Galatians 5:13, 16)
3. “I will praise you, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You have
made me as I am; and I am your child.” (Psalm 139:13-14)
4. “Practicing radical hospitality is perhaps one of the best ways that we
heirs of God can give ourselves unreservedly in obedience to God.” (Genesis
18-19)
5. “Jesus did not agree with the whole Levitical premise of exclusive holiness.
It did not fit with his understanding of who God is or how God
wants people to relate to each other.” (Leviticus 18:22; Luke 10:25-37)
6. “Good News! God—who has the power to accept or reject—accepts and
reconciles with all of us.” (2 Corinthians 5:18)
7. “What is to be our response? As God’s gentile heirs, we are to be new
creations in Christ. We are to engage in reconciling ministries with each
other.” (2 Corinthians 5:18)
Source
Mary Jo Osterman, Claiming the Promise: An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study
Resource on Homosexuality (Chicago: Reconciling Congregation Program, 1997), pp.
12, 13, 19, 32, 38, and 41. The quotes are reflections on the biblical passages cited.
18 Open Hands
Common Errors and Clichés
By Melany G. Burrill
Three Errors Made by Well-Meaning People That Put More Pressure
on Youth
✘ Using exclusively heterocentric models of relationships in discussions, teaching/
learning settings, and examples; using “opposite sex” as the love object.
✘ Assuming sexual orientation means sexual activity. (If a young person self-identifies
as lesbigay, what else could that mean but that they are sexually active?)
✘ Being non-inclusive in use of the term “family”; that is, Family = Mother + Father
+ Children.
Three Things NOT to Say to LesBiGay Youth
✘ “It’s just a phase.”
✘ “You’re too young to know for sure.”
✘ “You can’t know for sure if you’ve never had sex.”
These common errors and clichés close options in the minds of lesbigay adolescents.
Persons can recognize their sexual orientation without being sexually active.
And, if the world around youth is painted as so different from the ways they know
themselves to be, they feel alienated and alone. By conscientiously using inclusive
examples of relationships and families, we can help lesbigay youth perceive the
world as one that includes them.
Melany Burrill leads sexuality education events in churches for youth and parents.
A Christian educator by training and background, her talents are currently being
used in corporate crisis management.
offended here and now by the suffering
of these youth, and that God’s justice
demands that they be welcomed,
here and now. The answer of the disciple
cannot be, “Christ, when did we
see you a stranger?” It can only be
“Christ, forgive us for what we do not
do.”
If our communal relationship with
the God of righteousness and justice is
to have any integrity at all, we must act
in a proactive participation of applying
that righteousness and justice. Pastors
must make themselves available for
counseling to local youth shelters.
Churches must host support groups for
lesbigay youth, invite lesbigay people
to address the youth, and explore what
it means to be in ministry with, not for,
lesbigay youth. Lest we forget our call,
deliberate and prophetic planning and
action must occur to welcome all youth,
regardless. The church must, to use Mr.
Turner’s words, “learn about Jesus.” If
we are to understand the purpose of our
discipleship, we must never forget that
the weight of Jesus’ message is inclusive,
not exclusive. No one is excluded
from the love of God in Christ. To follow
the One who has called us to discipleship,
therefore, requires more than
churchy politeness. Mentioning the
words “gay” and “lesbian” in a Sunday
school context is not enough. We must
love and invite the whole world, to the
point of losing our lives, of risking funding,
“reputation,” or some members of
our congregation and youth group, for
the sake of all God’s ones, whoever they
may be. We must react to the church’s
perpetuation of sinful tepidity with a
holy audacity.
If Jesus so loved the whole world as
to dwell in it and die because of it; if
the Spirit so loves the world as to live
with the lesbian teenager who has been
thrown out of her home, with the gay
child beaten up at school, with the
youth whose pastor says “Don’t come
back”—then we who seek after the justice
and righteousness of God must love
everyone and act with everyone, knowing
them as God’s family, knowing
them as our neighbor.▼
Note
*All names have been changed except the
author’s.
Trey Hall serves as campus intern at the
Reconciling Congregation Program and as
national co-secretary for MoSAIC (see p.
11). This fall he will
begin studies at Candler
School of Theology
toward a master of divinity
degree.
AD
Summer 1997 19
Suicide rates among adolescents are
on the increase. Six thousand teen
suicides occur yearly. Two million
attempts are reported, with perhaps
20,000 more suicides reported as accidents.
2 Suicide rates are lower for females,
a fact that probably reflects
society’s heavier condemnation of gay
males than of lesbians.3 Abused youth
are in the high risk category for suicide.
Young, Gay, Dead:
Suicide in Homosexual Teenagers
By Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell
Christian Teens More
Susceptible?
Any upheaval during the growing up
years can increase the likelihood of
suicide. The pain of being homosexual
in a cultural/religious/home situation
that condemns homosexuality can be
so overwhelming as to coerce a teenager
to commit suicide. Being Christian
does not prevent suicidal thoughts and
actions.4 Because they want to be in
heaven with Jesus or a loved one or they
have an over-sensitized consciousness
of sin that makes them conclude they
deserve to die, some teenagers, young
in the faith, may be more susceptible
to suicidal thoughts than nonbelieving
youth. In addition, suicide sometimes
appears easier for gays and lesbians to
deal with than dealing with the persons
who would be hurt if they were truthful
about their homosexuality.5
Gay and lesbian teenagers feel isolated,
confused, and rejected. They lack
the coping skills and avenues to deal
with their concerns. Essence editor Linda
Villarosa, a lesbian, calls the closet a
“dark and lonely place” and advises
young people struggling with their
sexual orientation: “Do not carry this
around just by yourself. You’ll go crazy.
Tell somebody. Start with people you
know already love you.”6 All Christians,
especially those in leadership and those
able to influence what goes on in our
churches, ought to consider this: “Do
we want our children experiencing that
darkness and loneliness alone?”
Helping Teens Choose Life
The church is a light-bringing, darkness-
dispelling village that is responsible
for the raising of each child
in our community. What can the
church do to help homosexual teenagers
choose life? First, the church must
be a community that encourages truth
telling. We need open discussion and
efforts to understand the struggles that
young people endure.
Second, gay and lesbian teenagers
need to find in the church counselors
and ministers, youth leaders, and parents
who will help them feel affirmed
and offer realistic direction. Mel White
tells of his relief at having masturbation
discussed at church camp, but
noted that the minister who enabled the
discussion was immediately removed
for having done so.7
Third, the church must not foster the
myths and stereotypes that shape the
public image of what it means to be
homosexual. Can the church afford not
to risk offering the opportunity for
youth to be in dialogue with ordinary,
Christian persons who are homosexual?
Waiting until a youngster reveals conflicts
about his or her sexuality is too
late.
Fourth, suicide needs to be discussed.
Youth, parents, and youth leaders need
to know the eighteen warning signs of
suicide, including: avoiding or pulling
away from others; decreasing communication
with adults and peers; giving
away prized possessions; being preoccupied
with death; having a sense of
“In the early, pre-dawn hours of 27 August 1982, Bobby
Griffith, who had just celebrated his twentieth birthday
two months earlier, did a backflip off a freeway overpass in
the path of a semi-truck and trailer. He was killed instantly....
For four years, Bobby and his parents had been
struggling with the fact of Bobby’s homosexuality... [S]uicide
seemed the only way out.”1
—B. Jaye Miller
more ➟
Suicide Incidence
Gay youth are two to three times
more likely to attempt suicide than
heterosexual young people. It is
estimated that up to 30 percent
of the completed youth suicides
are committed by lesbian and gay
youth annually.
Source: Hetrick-Martin “Fact File”
page, quoting Gibson P. LCSW, “Gay
Male and Lesbian Youth Suicide,”
Report of the Secretary’s Task Force
on Youth Suicides, U.S. Department
of Health and Human Services, 1989.
Youth
Suicides
30%
Lesbian
& Gay
Youth
Suicides
20 Open Hands
My son Mitchell is five years
old. He’s different from most
other boys, and he has been
for as long as I can remember. At home,
he plays Barbies with his sister and lip
syncs to music wearing dresses that
twirl. He loves to have his nails polished
and to wear red lipstick. At school at
recess, Mitchell jumps rope or climbs
the jungle gym with the girls. At home,
Mitch likes to make clothes for his
stuffed animals out of fabric scraps, and
then makes furniture for them out of
cardboard. He has a Brio train set, a huge
fire truck, and a bin of plastic dinosaurs,
but he never plays with them. We haul
them out when boys come over to play,
but the toys mostly stay up on the closet
shelves. At night, Mitchell often sleeps
in one of his sister’s nightgowns.
Despite being an atypical boy,
Mitchell is happy. He’s learned how to
manage his world so that he can be himself,
yet fit in with the world. His father,
seven-year-old sister and I are very
supportive of who he is—we don’t differentiate
between “girl” and “boy”
things at home. Yet, Mitchell is very
clear on the world’s ideas of what’s acceptable
for him to do or be. He’ll be
Jasmine or Esmeralda at home, but for
Halloween, when he has to walk the
neighborhood, he’ll choose a boy character
or an animal. On sharing day at
school, he won’t bring the new Barbie
he just got, he’ll bring a stuffed animal
or a typical boy toy, even if it’s something
that he never plays with. He’s
even said that boys don’t do certain
things or wear certain things.
Making New Friends
Mitchell doesn’t make new friends
easily, he just rotates having over
the same three girls he has been friends
with for years. When these friends are
My Son Mitchell
By Teri Shugart Erickson
over, they often play dress up games.
Everybody gets to be a girl character.
When Mitch does have a new friend
over, I’ve seen him test the waters by
putting on a dress or a girl costume and
watching to see if his new friend notices
or laughs. Or, Mitch will casually
mention that he likes to wear dresses.
One boy said, “Are you nuts?” and another
just laughed. Girls aren’t necessarily
more sensitive to the issue: new
girl friends often try to make Mitchell
be the boy character.
Mitchell once had a good friend who
was a boy. Harry. Harry’s moved away
now, but I still hold up that friendship
as a model for what a friendship can
and should be. It’s easy for Mitchell to
be friends with a girl who likes the same
things he does, but it takes more work
when a friendship requires accommodation
of different interests. Harry and
Mitchell, on their own, had mastered
that art. Harry, a boy with typical boy
interests, and Mitchell, a boy with typical
girl interests, would play fantasy
games where each boy got to be the
character they wanted to be. Harry
might have a dinosaur figure and
Mitchell might have a girl figure, and
those boys would make up a story where
those two figures would play together.
This friendship withstood the test of
time and contact: the boys played together
almost every day, and never tired
of one another.
I believe what made the difference
in this relationship, versus other friendships
that haven’t been so successful,
was Harry’s mom, Lynn. She treated
Mitchell with respect and acceptance.
Lynn’s most important contribution to
the friendship was to never try to get
Mitchell to play something or be something
that he had no interest in playing
or being. (Many moms are convinced
guilt or shame; poor personal hygiene;
increase in risky behavior; self abuse;
and suicide of a friend.8
Fifth, churches need to take positive
action. The United Methodist Church
has adopted a resolution that recognizes
the problem of suicide related to homosexuality
among teenagers, noting
“isolation, confusion, and fear when he
or she needs information, guidance, and
support.”9 It directs the Woman’s Division
to use its effective communication
channels to provide “factual information,
program ideas, and resources on
this topic for use by individuals and
groups.” However, they will have no
impact on gay and lesbian teens unless
local congregations take seriously the
need to address the issues of teens, homosexuality,
and suicide.▼
Notes
1Warren J. Blumenfeld, Homophobia: How
We All Pay the Price (Boston: Beacon, 1992),
p. 79.
2Thomas D. Kennedy, “Too Young to Die,”
Christianity Today (20 March 1987), p. 19.
3David Shaffer, Marilyn Gould, and Roger
C. Hicks, “Worsening Suicide Rate in Black
Teenagers,” American Journal of Psychiatry,
vol. 151, no. 12 (December 1994), p. 1810.
4Kennedy, p. 20.
5Mary Franzen Clark and Robert Anthony
Kerr, “What a Heterosexual Christian Counselor
Can Learn from Stranger at the Gate,
by Mel White,” Journal of Psychology and
Christianity, vol. 15, no, 4, 1996, p. 366.
6All God’s Children, video, Woman Vision,
1996. To order, write 3145 Geary Blvd., Box
421, San Francisco CA 94118 or call 415/
273-1145.
7Clark, p. 365.
8Newscope (7 February 1997), pp. 1-2.
9“Teens at Risk,” Book of Resolutions, 1996
(Nashville: The United Methodist Church,
1996), p. 414.
Youtha C. Hardman-Cromwell is a board
member of the national Reconciling Congregation
Program and a writer of United
Methodist curriculum.
She is a member of
Trinity United Methodist
Church in Alexandria,
Virginia, and is
on the faculty at
Howard University
School of Divinity.
Honoring gender differences in children is crucial to their well-being.
Summer 1997 21
that they can turn Mitchell into a more
typical boy.)
Mitchell once had a brief friendship
with a boy from his preschool class,
Nicholas. What I remember most about
Nicholas was the time when I was driving
the boys to play at Nicholas’s house
for the first time, and Nicholas told
Mitch “Now, I don’t have any girl toys.”
It was the voice of concern for his friend,
that he might not have what Mitchell
needed. Mitchell said
“That’s okay” and the
boys found plenty to do
at Nicholas’s house that
afternoon. That exchange
exemplified for me what
acceptance of differences
is all about: we don’t pretend
that they don’t exist,
and we figure out
ways to enjoy being together,
even when we’re
different.
Mitchell went to a
birthday party for a boy
in his class last month. All
the boys in his class had
been invited, no girls. Beforehand,
Mitch was worried
about having no one
to play with at the party,
so I was happy to see his
fears unrealized. The other boys were
calling out “Hey, Mitch!” to get him to
run alongside them; they included him
in all their chasing and building games;
Mitch was one of the guys. It warmed
my heart. It was then that I realized exactly
what my heart’s desire is for my
child: I don’t care what he is, but I desperately
want him to be liked and
wanted.
Well-Meaning Relatives
Every Christmas, well-meaning relatives
give Mitchell fire engines with
sirens and action figures that transform
into monsters. He cried when his sister
opened the Barbie that was on his
Christmas list. My sister-in-law had
asked what Mitch wanted for Christmas.
When I told her “a Jewel Haired Mermaid
Barbie or a Sailor Moon doll,” she
said that she just couldn’t buy something
like that for him. She bought him
a matchbox car that he gave to Goodwill.
When my parents were visiting us
last Christmas, Mitchell and his sister
put on make-up and lipstick, and then
came out to the living room to show us
all. His dad said “You look wonderful!”
His grandmother (my mother) just
rolled her eyes. She never says that she
disapproves of Mitchell’s interests, but
she has mentioned several times that I
need to play Legos with him more, that
he loves playing Legos with her when
she’s baby-sitting him. Although it’s true
that Mitchell enjoys playing Legos with
his grandmother, he never self-selects
Legos as an activity. He selects Barbies
and stuffed animals. My mother believes
that Mitchell’s lack of typical boy
interests is my fault. It irritates me that
it is a societal goal for Mitchell to develop
typical boy interests.
Growing Up Knowing
What Gay Is
My son once told me that he wished
he were a girl. I think the main
reason he said that is that he wants the
freedom to wear velour dresses to
school, leotards to gymnastics class, and
taffeta to church on Christmas Eve.
Mitchell knows what being gay is.
We talk about it in our family, and we
read children’s stories with gay characters.
If Mitchell is gay, I want him to
grow up hearing about being gay in the
same way that he hears about different
colors of skin and special talents that
only a few possess. Not as an affliction
to be overcome or a cross to bear, but
with the knowledge that, as God’s creation,
he is perfect just the way he is
and that we (his father and mother)
wouldn’t change him for the world.
Luckily, we both believe that.
Being Included in Church
Our church is not a reconciling congregation,
more out of inertia than
any political or religious beliefs, but we
are welcoming to people who are different
from us. But a church needs to
be more than welcoming, it needs to
be affirming. Since the United Methodist
Church’s official position is anti-gay,
there aren’t any children’s Sunday
School materials that affirm being gay.
If a child is gay, they need to see gay
adults as full participants and leaders
in the church, so that as they grow up
in the church, they don’t see their
differentness as a reason to leave the
church. For churches with no openly
gay congregants, it is even more important
to have children’s religious books
and Sunday School curriculum with
ordinary gay characters. I want all children
to see that being gay is not separate
from being Christian.
more ➟
Mitchell’s favorite dress-up
clothes at age 3 (my wedding
veil and shoes)
Mitchell at age 4, loves to hula dance
22 Open Hands
In the absence of positive gay images
in written materials and accepted
openly gay congregants, what the
church can do right now (and ours does)
is to affirm the idea of all of us being
different and, at the same time, promoting
the image of God creating all of us
in God’s own image. We can celebrate
our differences rather than only welcoming
people who look just like we
do.
Historically, people who are different
have been outcasts, and children
who are different are no exception. On
Children’s Sabbath last year, our Sunday
School children wrote their own
liturgy about outcasts (at right). I asked
the question “Who are the outcasts?”
and the children responded over and
over again, creating this wonderful responsive
reading. Notice that almost
every answer has to do with being different.
“I ache when I think
about having to not be
who you are, or to lie
about who you are,
to fully belong
to a church.”
Our family used to belong to a
church more conservative than the one
we belong to now. The pastors were of
the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mind
about homosexuality. The congregants
covered the entire spectrum— both welcoming
and anti-gay. But, the welcoming
ones were silent. Always silent.
When I invited my friend Jim, who is
gay, to come to my church, he said that
he wouldn’t be welcome there. And he
probably wouldn’t have been—not totally.
He and his partner wouldn’t have
been included together in church
events, wouldn’t have been part of the
social fabric of church, unless they
downplayed who they were. I ache
when I think about having to not be
who you are, or to lie about who you
are, to fully belong to a church.
I want more for my son. I want him
to be a full participant in the life of a
Children’s Sabbath Responsive Reading
Who are the outcasts in our world?
A girl who was born with a skin disease and a girl with one eye.
Who are the outcasts?
Kids with braces or glasses.
Who are the outcasts?
Kids who can’t hear or are blind.
Who are the outcasts?
Kids at my school who get there on a bus.
Who are the outcasts?
Kids in wheelchairs.
Who are the outcasts?
The special education kids who look different.
Who are the outcasts?
Sometimes it’s me.
How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts?
He wants us to be nice and helpful, and to treat them kindly.
How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts?
Like a brother or sister, or like a friend.
How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts?
We shouldn’t stare, and we should share our things with them.
How does Jesus want us to treat outcasts?
We should treat them the way that we want to be treated.
But, that’s not just for outcasts, that’s for everybody.
church, fully accepted for who he is,
appreciated for what he can do. I want
his spiritual life nurtured and prayed
for. As he grows older, I want him to
continue to want to go to church, knowing
that he is an integral part of that
faith community. When he is older and
finds a partner, I want him to be able to
commit to that partner in a religious
ceremony at church, promising before
God, his congregation, his family, and
his friends to remain faithful for life.
No matter what the sex of that partner.
He is only five years old.▼
Teri Shugart Erickson is the director of
Christian education
at Crystal Springs
United Methodist
Church in San Mateo,
California.
—Sunday School children
Crystal Springs United Methodist Church
Children’s Sabbath, 1996
Summer 1997 23
My youngest son, fifteen, had
come home from a school
trip quite ill with several
complaints. After a week of TLC, we
headed for the doctor. Three doctors
later we found ourselves in the hospital.
I was told my son had HIV and
would have about five to seven years
to live.
At that time I knew nothing about
the virus or the disease called AIDS. We
were a middle class, white, suburban,
church-going family. AIDS was a disease
for drug addicts and gay men. How
dare AIDS invade our life!
I had been raised in a strict religious
faith where sex was not a topic for discussion.
Therefore I had not given
much sexual instruction to my own
children. But Daniel had many questions,
and since he could not get answers
at home, school or church, he
found his answers on the street.
I soon realized that my life would
not be the same old stay-at-home-mom.
In May of 1986 we were told to keep
quiet, try to help our son finish high
school, and maybe a medical breakthrough
would happen. If not, we
should “enjoy” the times we had together.
For the next few years we all lived
in the closet—the closet of fear, anger,
and dread of tomorrow. I did a lot of
crying, praying, and arguing with God.
Why me? Why? Why? And then one
day I knew why! God had a plan for
me: Sarah, the critical, narrow-minded
woman was to become Sarah, the
helper, the listener, the Christian
woman as opposed to the religious
woman. Only our Lord Jesus could give
insight on the meaning of unconditional
love.
From Fear to Advocacy
By Sarah M. Reed
HIV positive—words that put fear in everyone’s heart… HIV=AIDS=Death.
These were the words I heard on Mother’s Day, 1986.
Little did I know what lay ahead for my family and me.
When our son began writing for his
college newspaper in 1990, he wanted
us to support him in helping to educate
other youth about HIV/AIDS. So I
became an HIV/AIDS educator.
Yet we had a big problem. We had
been members of the United Methodist
Church for thirty-some years, during
many of which I taught Sunday
school, worked for the music ministry,
and served as a trustee. However, we
were not welcomed when we spoke
about AIDS. I tried to facilitate a support
group for our area. Oh yes, we
could use a room once a month at the
church, but somehow the announcement
got left out of the bulletin, and
the room assignment was erased from
the announcement board. In a church
with 3500 members and six ministers,
we had support from only six individuals.
What should churches do for those
living with HIV/AIDS? Churches can
begin sex education classes for youth
(and adults) in which all aspects of sexuality
are discussed. Sexuality is one of
God’s beautiful gifts to us, and we need
to recognize that gift. We need to educate
our youth so that they will have
the knowledge to make healthy choices.
Allowing youth to discuss such issues
will help them to understand and be
better educated about HIV/AIDS. We
also need to provide education for parents,
as many are ignorant of all aspects
of AIDS, most of all the heartbreak.
Our churches need to provide a safe
haven for all those who find themselves
with HIV/AIDS or who seek information
about the disease. We need to provide
trained peer educators who can
understand and address problems associated
with HIV/AIDS. The church needs
to provide services, such as transportation
to medical services or emergency
money for medicines. The church
might offer educational workshops on
AIDS to the neighborhood and plan
how to support families in need.
What can you do to ensure an accepting
church for HIV/AIDS affected
youth? Speak up! Volunteer or help find
volunteers who will provide education,
support, and advocacy for our youth.
Take time to write letters, not only to
church leaders but also to community
leaders (and politicians), asking their
support for your programs. Support
young people as they seek answers
about HIV. Be there for them! All of us
can use a loving, listening friend.
Get involved, and God will bless you
and your church beyond your wildest
dreams.▼
Sarah M. Reed, an elementary school
teacher, wife, and mother of three grown
children, is an AIDS educator who volunteers
for several AIDS related organizations,
including the board of MetroTeen AIDS.
She and her husband left the Methodist
church and joined the Metropolitan Community
Church of Washington D.C. where
she is active in the children’s ministry,
pastoral visitation, choir, and is mom to
many of the members. She and her son
Daniel often speak together at church,
school, and community meetings.
24 Open Hands
An inspiration came to me while
viewing gay composer and conductor
Leonard Bernstein’s
monumental work Mass: that the Catholic
Church may one day openly accept
and bless gay relationships as part of
God’s creation and encourage them as
a way to give glory and praise to God.
This would be providing sanctuary.
The Catholic Church presently has
no official program for gay, lesbian, bisexual,
transgendered, or questioning
young Catholics that would help them
accept their sexual orientation. Recent
comments by bishops, however, asking
forgiveness of gays and lesbians for neglecting
their needs and encouraging
clergy and laity to come out of the closet
with honesty is indeed encouraging.1
Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, auxiliary
of Detroit, is a leader in this regard. His
attendance at New Ways Ministry conferences
and his acceptance of awards
for his pastoral care, understanding, and
compassion of gay and lesbian children
of God is most heartening.
The Catholic Church has accepted
the reality of gay sexual orientation, but
doesn’t allow open dialogue on accepting
committed gay relationships. Theologically,
the Church’s position is contradictory
because it demands celibacy
of its gay and lesbian members while
admitting that celibacy in its priests requires
a special gift of grace from God,
a vocation, which gays and lesbians
don’t have. So how can gays and lesbians
as a group be expected to remain
celibate?2
What are gay Catholic youth to do
when they look for present day role
models in the Church? Our own Paulist
Parish in Boulder, Colorado, St. Thomas
Aquinas University Parish, has had a
Gay, Lesbian Concerned Catholics
(GLCC) group for over seventeen years.
Some college-age youth have attended
the quarterly meetings to listen to
speakers such as Sr. Jeanine Grammick,
Fr. Robert Nugent, Richard Woods O.P.,
Where Is Sanctuary in the Catholic Church?
By John Hoffman
Daniel Helminiak— a former priest, and
John Fortunato.
As a member of GLSTN (the Gay Lesbian
Straight Teachers Network), I personally
have tried to provide sanctuary
for youth by my involvement in the
Longmont Alliance Supporting Gay,
Lesbian and Bisexual Youth in the city
where I teach. I have supplied books to
my school district like Open Lives, Safe
Schools. I have shared with school counselors
the excellent video It’s Elementary:
Talking About Gay Issues in School.3
I have come out as gay in the local high
school newspaper to provide one model
for gay students. I have lobbied behind
the scenes with school administrators
to get “sexual orientation” added to our
non-discrimination policy (which
hasn’t been successful yet).
However, it is my Church which
must help offer sanctuary to young
people. In their new book, Free Your
Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual
Youth, Ellen Bass and Kate
Kaufman state that
“…most gay and lesbian youth are
not open about their sexual orientation
in their communities of
faith. Generally, the way they
know whether they will be rejected
or affirmed is by observing
the way their church treats adult
gays and lesbians… It is important
to include positive education
about gays and lesbians in religious
instruction… Such forums
will provide reassurances that,
whatever their sexual orientation,
gay youth will be accepted.”4
In the Catholic parish where I grew
up, the words “gay” or “lesbian” were
never mentioned from the pulpit. They
still aren’t in many Catholic churches.
It is the silence which is killing our
youth. It treats them as though they
don’t exist. Few priests have the courage
to speak out and defend youth with
a gay orientation publicly from the pulpit.
This is the saddest situation that
cries out for remedy.
In Bernstein’s Mass, the disadvantaged
youth does speak out. The celebrant
answers that he doesn’t have all
the answers and that each of us has the
obligation to save our own souls without
his leadership. He can’t do it for us.
Gay Catholic youth face a similar situation.
The courageous solutions they
choose on their own, following their
consciences, are even more deserving
of our respect because of the limited
guidance they receive. The Lord will
understand, and church leaders will
have to answer for their lack of guidance.
I left Mass with tears streaming
down my face in view of the sadness of
the present situation for youth so prophetically
envisioned by Bernstein
twenty-six years ago.▼
Notes
1Bondings (Spring 1997), p. 1. Bondings is a
seasonal newspaper which keeps subscribers
informed of issues pertaining to lesbian
and gay people in the Catholic Church. To
subscribe: New Ways Ministry, 4012 29th
Street, Mt. Rainier MD 20712.
2Dan Maguire, “The Morality of Homosexual
Marriage,” in A Challenge to Love: Gay
and Lesbian Catholics in the Church, ed. R
Nugent (New York: Crossroad, 1983).
3See Selected Resources, p. 26.
4Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman, “Making
Changes in Churches and Temples,” Free
Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual
Youth—and their Allies (New York: Harper
Collins, 1996), ch. 17.
John Hoffman, Ph.D., is a gay single man
who was a Catholic seminarian for nine
years at the time of Vatican II. He has
been a K-12 reading
specialist for twentyfour
years in the public
school system. He
represents his parish on
Boulder County’s Interfaith
AIDS Coalition.
Summer 1997 25
For more information on the music
of Home, direct inquiries to:
Timothy C. McGinley,
622 North Riley Ave.
Indianapolis, IN 46201
(317) 356-2215
Copyright ©1994 Timothy C. McGinley.
All rights reserved.
HOME The Parable of Beatrice and Neal
Home
from Home, The Parable of Beatrice and Neal
words and music by Timothy C. McGinley
Sustaining
the Spirit
26 Open Hands
Selected
Resources
Gay/Lesbian Youth
Bass, Ellen and Kate Kaufman. Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay,
Lesbian Bisexual Youth—and their Allies. New York: Harper
Collins, 1996. Alive with the voices of over fifty young people,
this is the definitive practical guide for gay, lesbian, and bisexual
youth—and their families, teachers, counselers, pastors,
and friends. It speaks to the basic aspects of their lives.
Heron, Ann, ed. Two Teenagers in Twenty: Writings by Gay and
Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In this new edition (first
out in 1982), a new generation of teens share their experiences
of hatred, isolation, and despair, and their yearnings
for acceptance.
Romesburg, Don. ed. Young, Gay, & Proud! New ed. Boston:
Alyson, 1995. Writings by a diverse group of teens about a
wide range of gay/lesbian concerns, with an appendix of famous
gay and lesbian people, past and present.
Teen Suicide
Aarons, Leroy. Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms
with the Suicide of Her Gay Son. San Francisco: Harpers, 1995.
A middle-class suburban mother advised her son to pray God
would heal his homosexuality. Not changed, he took his life.
Three years later his mother concludes that God “had not
healed Bobby because there was nothing wrong with him.”
Remafedi, Gary, ed. Death by Denial: Studies of Suicide in Gay
and Lesbian Teenagers. Boston: Alyson, 1994. In 1989 a federal
study found that teens struggling with their sexual orientation
were three times more likely than their peers to
commit suicide. Findings of that report, swept away by the
Bush administration, are reported along with other studies.
Church Issues
Glaser, Chris. Coming Out to God: Prayers for Lesbians and Gay
Men, their Families and Friends. Louisville: Westminster/John
Knox, 1991. Sixty days of prayers, with an introduction on
prayer and an epilogue on scripture.
Helminiak, Daniel A. What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality.
San Francisco: Alamo Square, 1994. A basic overview
of recent findings of biblical scholars.
Scanzoni, Letha Dawson and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. Is the
Homosexual my Neighbor? A Positive Christian Response. Rev.
and upd. San Francisco: Harpers, 1994. This is a classic. Recommended
first reading for just about everyone.
School Issues
Jennings, Kevin, ed. One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian
Educators Tell their Stories. Boston: Alyson, 1994. Educators
share their struggles and victories.
Walling, Donovan R., ed. Open Lives, Safe Schools: Addressing
Gay & Lesbian Issues in Education. Bloomington, IN: Phi Delta
Kappa, 1996. A collection of twenty-one essays written for
educators and others concerned about schooling, from kindergarten
through graduate school. Premise: everyone benefits
when students, parents, educators, and others are allowed
to live openly in terms of sexual orientation.
Videos
All God’s Children. Woman Vision, 1996. 3145 Geary Blvd., Box
421, San Francisco CA 94118. 415/273-1145. 25-min. video.
Focuses on “the Black Church’s embracement of African
American lesbians and gay men as dedicated members of its
spiritual family.”
Both of My Moms’ Names are Judy: Children of Lesbians and Gays
Speak Out. A project of Lesbian and Gay Parents Association.
6705 California Street #1, San Francisco CA 94121. 415/387-
9886. 10-min. video. Presents interviews of a diverse group
of children (ages 7-11) who have gay or lesbian parents.
Gay Youth: An Educational Video for the Nineties. Producer/Director
Pam Walton. Wolfe Video, PO Box 64, New Almaden
CA 95042. 40 min. video. Breaks the silence surrounding
adolescent homosexuality. Contrasts the suicide of 20-yearold
Bobby Griffith with the remarkable life of 17-year-old
Gina Guiterrez.
It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School. Women’s
Educational Media, 2180 Bryant St., Suite 203, San Francisco
CA 94110. 415/641-4616. 78-min. video. Produced by academy
award winner Debra Chasnoff and Helen Cohen. Shows
teachers leading class discussions with elementary and middle
school children to address anti-gay prejudice. Would be helpful
to Sunday school teachers who want to encourage discussion
occasionally. Also, very helpful to church groups trying
to encourage local public schools to encorporate gay/lesbian
tolerance into curriculum.
Straight from the Heart. Woman Vision, 1994. 3570 Clay Street,
San Francisco CA 94118. 415/921-5687. 24-min. video. “Examines
the issues parents face in coming to terms with having
a lesbian or gay child.”
Your Mom’s a Lesbian; Here’s Your Lunch; Have a Good Day at
School. Leonardo’s Children, Inc., 26 Newport Bridge Road,
Warwick NY 10990. 914/986-6888. Story of Presbyterian
minister Jane Adams Spahr, wife and mother of two small
boys, separated from her husband because she was a lesbian.
Organizations
The Hetrick-Martin Institute, Inc., 401 West St. New York NY
10014. 212/633-8920. See p. 11.
Horizons, 961 West Montana, Chicago IL 60614. 312/929-HELP.
Has youth support groups and services.
PFLAG, PO Box 96519, Washington DC 20090-6519. 202/638-
4200. Contact for a chapter near you.
Summer 1997 27
FRIDAY NIGHT WORSHIP: Rev.
James Forbes, Janie Spahr, Virginia
Davidson, et. al. are “Marching in
the Light of God.”
FIRST ML BAPTISM: The child
of a couple at one of the newest
More Light Churches, St. Mark in
Portland, Oregon, is baptised by
the Rev. David Lee.
QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS: Clifton Kirkpatrick,
Stated Clerk of the General Assembly,
backed up by Dick Lundy, MLCN, fields
questions from the audience.
ENJOYING THE MOMENT: Mitzi Henderson
is honored for her leadership in founding the
More Light Churches Network and for her
work with PFLAG. With the Rev. Steve
Mathison-Bowie.
LET THE LITTLE ONES COME: The increasing
presence of children demonstrates the inclusive
welcome of the More Light movement and
its hope for the future.
AMENDMENT B: Laurene Lafontaine, Scott
Anderson, and Cliff Fraiser discuss Amendment
B and its effects, one of many formal
and informal conversations throughout the
conference.
SPEAKING OUT: Katie
Morrison describes the dilemmas
and pain that
come with being a lesbian
in seminary. Lesbian and
gay seminarians were a
vocal and enriching presence
at the conference.
ONE MORE QUESTION: Howard Warren
(left) raises a question for Clifton Kirkpatrick,
as Ken Collinson looks on.
SYMBOLIC STOLES: Over 350 stoles, each from
someone personally affected by the Presbyterian
ban on gay/lesbian ordination, were on
display.
Presbyterians from across the country gathered in Portland, Oregon
on 23-25 May for support, educational opportunities, worship, fun,
and strategic planning for the upcoming General Assembly.
14tth Annuall Morre LLiightt Conffeerreenccee Ceelleebrrattess
Neevveerr TTuurrnniinngg BBaacckk
Captions: Dick Lundy Photos: Dick Hasbany
28 Open Hands
Welcoming
Communities
MORE LIGHT
More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance
Clarendon Presbyterian Church
Arlington, Virginia
Clarendon Presbyterian Church is a redeveloping congregation
in a neighborhood increasingly filled with young
professional people working in Washington, D.C. The Rev.
Madeline Jervis reports that the congregation has a number of
gay and lesbian members and has been openly inclusive for a
number of years. The vote to become a More Light Church
was taken following the passage of Amendment B to the Book
of Order (see p. 30).
Family of Christ Presbyterian Church
Greeley, Colorado
The Family of Christ Church is the liberal Presbyterian option
in Greeley, a community of 65,000 and the home of the
University of Northern Colorado. The congregation is composed
of professional people and farm families. It shares its
building with a Spanish-speaking congregation. The Rev. Steve
Brown has been its pastor since 1985.
First United Presbyterian Church
Troy, New York
The First United Presbyterian Church of Troy was chartered
when George Washington was President. Troy is an old industrial
city of 50,000 just across the Hudson River from Albany.
“Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors” is found on the
church sign. The Rev. Barbara Anderson, co-pastor with her
husband Mark Smutny, reports that the congregation of approximately
375 members is the largest in its presbytery and
gives that body considerable leadership. The Session has signed
a covenant of dissent, objecting to the recent changes in the
Book of Order.
Sixth Presbyterian Church
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Sixth Presbyterian is situated in an urban neighborhood
near the University of Pittsburgh. This congregation of 290
members, served by two pastors, John McCall and Deborah
Gausmann, has a longtime involvement in a cooperative community-
focused ministry. The congregation has been welcoming
of gays and lesbians for many years.
RECONCILED IN CHRIST
St. Mark Presbyterian Church
Portland, Oregon
St. Mark Presbyterian began some fifty years ago on the
campus of Lewis and Clark College in Portland. It is now located
only several blocks away from the campus. A congregation
of less than 100 members, St. Mark has been carefully
deliberate in its process of becoming a More Light Church.
Many of its members served on the local arrangements committee
for the 1997 More Light Conference held at Lewis and
Clark College in May (see p. 27).
Westminster Hills Presbyterian Church
Hayward, California
Westminster Hills Presbyterian is a forty-one-year-old ethnically
diverse congregation of approximately 75 members. The
citizens of Hayward now speak fifty-seven languages.
Westminster Hills is oriented toward the needs of people in its
neighborhood, with three community service agencies housed
in the church building.
Luther Congregation
Campus Ministry of Luther College
Decorah, Iowa
The Luther Congregation, part of the Campus Ministry
program at Luther College, is a student congregation of
the ELCA. Students join and participate without affecting
membership in their home churches. Campus Ministry offers
daily chapel, Wednesday Eucharist, Sunday worship, and a variety
of learning, outreach, and service ministries. The congregation
provides support and seed money for the campus Amnesty
International and Habitat for Humanity chapters, as well
as other groups centered on peace and justice concerns. Luther
Congregation joined the RIC roster in May 1995 after a period
of extended dialogue and study about ministry with gay and
lesbian persons. It continues to engage in community dialogue
by supporting guest speakers and advocacy events, such as a
spring teach-in. The congregation’s two primary goals in carrying
out its RIC ministry are to continue public affirmation
of its partnership in ministry with those of differing sexual
orientations and to encourage fruitful dialogue about the
church’s understanding of human sexuality.
Park View Lutheran Church and School
Chicago, Illinois
Park View Lutheran Church and School, a 220-member congregation
on the north side of Chicago, voted on 27 April to
become a Reconciled in Christ/Affirming Congregation. Park
View has a vibrant and liturgical worship life and reaches out
to the community primarily through its Christian day school
(grades kindergarten to eighth). “I have a good feeling about
the process,” said Rev. Timothy Dean, Park View’s pastor. “We
had a lot of discussion, out of our baptism.” Park View hopes
to become more involved with the local chapter of Lutherans
Concerned and will likely study the biblical resource Claiming
the Promise (see ad, p. 32) in the fall.
Summer 1997 29
WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE
The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is
printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a
more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact
the appropriate program listed on page 3.
RECONCILING
First United Methodist Church
Boulder, Colorado
First UMC was founded in 1859 during the
early Gold Rush years in Colorado. The congregation’s present
building in downtown Boulder was completed 100 years after
its founding. The current congregation of about 500 members
is engaged in a variety of community ministries, including a
soup kitchen, homeless shelter, and the Boulder Community
AIDS Project. New persons coming to the church note the fine
preaching, excellent music program, and general friendliness.
The outing and dismissal of a long-time minister of youth and
education, Julian Rush, in the early 1980s caused division within
the congregation. Efforts to heal this rift eventually led to the
decision to become a Reconciling Congregation.
West Valley United Methodist Church
Chatsworth, California
West Valley UMC was formed about ten years ago when a
group of persons left a large, conservative Japanese-American
church and applied to become a congregation in the United
Methodist Church. This 85-member congregation carries on a
ministry to Asian-Americans in the UMC, focusing on intercultural
and intergenerational concerns. While the congregation
maintains its Japanese-American identity, its mission statement
affirms its openness to persons of different races. The
members’ experience of being marginalized—many were forced
into internment camps during World War II—has led to their
support of other marginalized persons, including the decision
to become a Reconciling Congregation.
Christ Congregation (ABC, UCC)
Princeton, New Jersey
Christ Congregation is situated in Princeton Borough,
across the street from Westminster Choir College and
Princeton High School, and just a few blocks from the University.
Founded in 1955 as Calvary Baptist Church, the congregation
in 1968 decided to align themselves also with the United
Church of Christ and changed their name to Christ Congregation.
The congregation has always tried to be welcoming, open,
and affirming of all persons. At present it has a diverse membership
of 93. The past few years has seen a surge in the numbers
of families with young children in attendance. Christ
Congregational is involved in ministries at a nursing home, a
residence for abused teens, and a residence for young women
and infants who are HIV+. The congregation also has a ministry
to foreign students and cooperates with other churches in
ministries to the homeless and those in crisis. Christ Congregation
joined W&A/ONA to declare publicly their inclusiveness
and to show solidarity with others, especially those ABC
churches that have been disfellowshipped because of their
welcoming and affirming witness (see p. 30).
WELCOMING & AFFIRMING
NATIONAL
COMING OUT DAY
OCTOBER 11
Coming Out
is a sure way to gain support.
Coming Out
helps us achieve political power
and voting power.
Coming Out
can turn ignorance into acceptance.
Coming Out
means changing the tide of history.
For more information, contact
National Coming Out Day
P.O. Box 34640,
Washington, DC 20043-4640
202/628-4160 or 800/866-NCOD
Fax 202/347-5323
NCOD is a non-profit educational project
of the Human Rights Campaign Fund Foundation.
Triangle Ministries ▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼
A Center For Lesbian & Gay Spiritual Development
14 White Birch Lane, Williston, VT 05495
802-860-7106 or Email: revcsl@aol.com
Offers Weekend Retreats In Burlington, VT
“Surfacing Our Souls”
A Study of Families, Fear, & Faith
November 28 - 30, 1997
“Having the Holy in Our Holidays”
December 19-21, 1997
“Body & Soul”
A Valentine’s Retreat For Lesbian Couples
February 13 - 16, 1998
Contact for rates, registration, & further information
Or visit TM web page hhtp://members.aol.com/revcsl
30 Open Hands
Movement News
Alaskan Baptists Disfellowship Church
Alaskan American Baptists voted in April to notify the
Church of the Covenant in Palmer, Alaska, that their membership
in the state body is being terminated. This vote ends a
process that began over a year ago.
In April 1996 the Alaska Association of Baptist Churches
adopted a resolution that “the practice of homosexuality is
incompatible with Christian teaching.” The Church of the
Covenant is a member of the Association of Welcoming &
Affirming Baptists, a national network of Baptist churches that
advocates for full acceptance of gay persons in the life of the
church and for full civil rights of gay persons. Its pastor, the
Rev. Howard Bess, is a member of the Open Hands advisory
committee.
In October 1996, the Alaska Association voted to admonish
the church (see news item in Winter 1997 issue of Open
Hands). Church of the Covenant made it clear that the dropping
of its commitment to justice for gay persons would not
be considered.
At the 18 April 1997 meeting in Anchorage, representatives
from Church of the Covenant introduced a motion calling for
dialogue on issues related to the relationship of gay believers
and churches. The motion failed, with only the representatives
of Church of the Covenant voting for dialogue.
Church of the Covenant joins five other American Baptist
Churches—First Baptist Church of Granville, Ohio, and four
California churches—that have already been dismissed from
their regional bodies. These actions are under appeal to the
national body. The six churches are still considered American
Baptist churches and remain in good standing within the denomination.
Hundreds Dance at Water’s Edge
More than 200 people attended the “Wade On In: Dancing
at the Water’s Edge” event held 28-30 June at the La Verne
(California) Church of the Brethren and at the University of
La Verne. The conference, sponsored by the Church of the
Brethren Womaen’s Caucus, Brethren Mennonite Council for
Lesbian and Gay Concerns (BMC), the La Verne Church of the
Brethren, and the University of La Verne, emphasized drawing
closer together while celebrating our diversity. Conference
activities included evening worship, music, Sunday morning
worship with the La Verne congregation, a theater
performance, “Coming Out, Coming Home,” exploring issues
of sexuality and acceptance, and afternoon conversation circles.
A “Ritual of Tears” marked the opening evening worship,
at which laments were heard concerning fear for the direction
of church decision-making bodies as well as rejection of individuals
and groups by the larger Church. Symbols of healing
waters appeared throughout the conference, however, to remind
participants of their ability to move forward in faith
toward an inclusive and affirming church. At the concluding
service BMC executive director Jim Sauder invited conference
goers to “wade, jump, plunge, or slowly inch your way into
the water of new life.” A final toast of sparkling juice encouraged
each to go with the knowledge that together they were
reating new wine from the water.
Good News from Presbyterian General
Assembly
A refreshing spirit of reconciliation permeated the meeting
of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
in Syracuse, New York in mid-June. In the search for middle
ground on the issue of ordination for gays and lesbians, the
Assembly voted to send a new, far less restrictive, amendment
than the commonly called “fidelity and chastity” (Amendment
B) for ratification by presbyteries.
The new amendment, termed B+ by many, would require
those seeking ordination to “demonstrate fidelity and integrity
in marriage or singleness, and in all relationships of life”
rather than living “in fidelity within the covenant of marriage
of a man and a woman or chastity in singleness,” as in Amendment
B. It would require church officers to “lead a life in obedience
to Jesus Christ under the authority of scripture” rather
than as Amendment B said, “in obedience to scripture.”
The new amendment states that “candidates for ordained
office shall acknowledge their own sinfulness, the need for
repentance, and their reliance on the grace and mercy of God
to fulfill the duties of their office” rather than Amendment
B’s “persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice
which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/
or installed” as church officers.
The leadership of PLGC (Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay
Concerns) stressed that this new amendment would not clear
the way for the ordination of gays and lesbians, but is a major
step back from the polarizing stance adopted by last year’s
General Assembly.
New Development/Media Staff for
Welcoming Movement
A grant from the First United Church in Oak Park (Illinois)
will provide for the part-time employment of a development/
media associate for the welcoming church movement. Marty
Hansen, Presbyterian layperson from Chicago, will begin this
new position in September. He will work out of the Reconciling
Congregation Program national office. Prior to beginning
this new ministry, Marty was director of development for
Horizons, a gay/lesbian social service agency in Chicago.
Marty will cultivate foundations and churches or agencies
with large mission budgets as possible funders of projects in
the various denominational welcoming church programs. He
will also seek to heighten the national media visibility of our
ecumenical movement. Your suggestions of funding and media
contacts to assist Marty in this critical work can be sent to
him at 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago IL 60641; fax 773/
736-5475.
Summer 1997 31
Call for Articles for
Spring 1998
Sexual Ethics
Seeking both analytical articles and personal stories that explore the power of
sexuality and the role of ethics in channeling that energy toward life-giving
relationships, within the continuous (re)interpretation of Christian tradition.
How do you make ethical decisions about relationship issues? How do you
deal with ethical decisions that go against the prevailing societal and religious
norm? How do you understand and live with(in) old sexual ethical
paradigms and new ones? Do you think ethics should “channel” sexual energy
through guidelines or “contain” that power through rules and laws?
Write with idea: October 1 Manuscript deadline: February 1
If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641
Who Reads Open Hands?
Thank you to the 416 people who completed the readers’
survey about Open Hands last winter. Thanks also to
the 154 people who wrote personal comments about
the magazine. Here is just one, a comment from Bob
Banner of Atlanta: “Open Hands is important because it
is both the voice of and report on the Welcoming movement
that has grown from within the mainline churches.
Open Hands is helping to spread the central message of
the Bible (that ”the Church“ is supposed to be spreading!)
that Jesus himself came to teach: that there are no
‘guidelines’ for separating human beings from one another—
that classifications are without significance in the
matter of God’s love for us and our love for each other.”
Who reads the magazine? The new survey indicates
that of the 416 responses, 52.2 percent of our readers
are male and 46.6 percent female. Readers are 45.7 percent
heterosexual, almost 31 percent gay, 16 percent
lesbian, and 5.5 percent bisexual. Readers are 95.7 percent
white and 4.1 percent other races. Almost 35 percent
of our readers live in cities, while 31 percent live in
a major metro area, 15 percent each live in suburban
areas and small towns, and 2 percent live in rural areas.
Just over 52 percent are laypersons, 36 percent are clergy,
and almost 7 percent are other church professionals.
Just under 50 percent are United Methodists. The next
biggest denominational groups of readers are United
Church of Christ at 12.5 percent and Presbyterian at 7
percent. Twenty-five other denominations or affiliations
are also represented within our readership.
Upcoming Gatherings
2-5 October 1997
Called on the Journey: Sacred Spaces of our Lives. Global gathering
of CLOUT (Christian Lesbians Out), an international
movement. Portland, Oregon retreat center. Contact:
Leanne Kerner 503/281-5405, 3011 NE Hancock, Portland
OR 97212 or e-mail: mamadyke@aol.com.
3-5 October 1997
Table Music: Embracing Difference, Creating Harmony. First
Western Canadian Mennonite and Church of the Brethren
Conference, Canmore, Alberta. For Supportive Congregations
and lesbian/gay/bisexual people. Contact:
Heather, 403/987-4974, or fax 403/987-4089.
10-13 October 1997
No Longer Strangers... Lutherans Concerned Western US/
Canadian Regional Retreat, Holden Village, Washington.
For lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered, queer, and non-gay
Christians. Contact: John Eric Rolfstad, 206/937-4490 or
write 3828 Beach Drive SW, #201, Seattle WA 98116.
W&A Baptists at Biennial Meeting
When the American Baptist Churches met in Indianapolis,
24-27 June, Welcoming & Affirming Baptists were there! Rainbow
flags were evident on name badges. A prayer from the
podium in an evening plenary session called for recognizing
the Christ in those present who may have a different sexual
orientation. Utilizing the biennial theme, “Rooted in God’s
Word,” W&A Baptists offered delegates materials and opportunities
for conversation regarding the biblical foundations
for affirmation of lesbigay persons.
Following a procession of banners and rainbow flags, over
400 persons packed nearby Christ Church Cathedral for the
W&A service of worship, a highlight of the week. Dr. James
Forbes, senior pastor of Riverside Church, NYC (W&A/ONA),
preached on “More Light from the Spirit on Sexuality.” He
encouraged worshipers to seek foundational principles set forth
by Jesus Christ in the Bible and charged them to be advocates
with the Advocate. “Like a mother who claims her gay son,
‘He’s mine,’ Momma Eternal says, ‘Don’t mess with my gay
children, they’re mine!’ Open the closet door!” he challenged.
“It is the job of the church to open the closet door for Jesus’
sake! You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you
free.”
UCCL/GC Celebrates New ONA Churches
In late June, 180 supporters of the United Church Coalition
for Lesbian/Gay Concerns (UCCL/GC) met at Ohio State
University in Columbus to worship, learn, play, and make history
as the group’s largest National Gathering! This great crowd
celebrated the 25th anniversary of the UCCL/GC’s ministry in
the United Church of Christ. At the sold-out banquet, participants
celebrated 52 churches who have been listed as Open
and Affirming (ONA) since the 1995 General Synod.
32 Open Hands
QTY BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE
___ Be Ye Reconciled (Summer 1985)
___ A Matter of Justice (Winter 1986)
___ Our Families (Spring 1986)
___ Our Churches’ Policies (Summer 1986)
___ Images of Healing (Fall 1986)
___ Minorities within a Minority (Spring 1987)
___ Sexual Violence (Fall 1987)
___ Building Reconciling Ministries (Spring 1988)
___ Living and Loving with AIDS (Summer 1988)
___ Sexual Ethics (Winter 1989)
___ Lesbian & Gay Men in the Religious Arts (Spring 1989)
___ The Closet Dilemma (Summer 1989)
___ Images of Family (Fall 1989)
___ Journeys toward Recovery and Wholeness (Spring 1990)
___ The “Holy Union” Controversy (Fall 1990)
___ Youth and Sexual Identity (Winter 1991)
___ Lesbian/Gay Reflections on Theology (Spring 1991)
___ The Lesbian Spirit (Summer 1991)
___ Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals in Ministry (Spring 1992)
___ Our Spirituality: How Sexual Expression and Oppression
Shape It (Summer 1992)
___ Aging and Integrity (Fall 1992)
___ Reclaiming Pride (Summer 1994)
___ The God to Whom We Pray (Spring 1995)
___ Remembering…10th Anniversary (Summer 1995)
___ Untangling Prejudice and Privilege (Fall 1995)
___ Same-Sex Unions (Spring 1997)
___ Creating Sanctuary: All Youth Welcome Here! (Summer 1997)
❑ Please send me the back issues indicated ($6 each; 10+ @ $4).
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Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641
Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475
Published by the Reconciling Congregation
Program in conjunction
with More Light, Open and Affirming,
Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming
& Affirming Baptist programs.
A Unique Resource on
Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual
Concerns in the Church for
Christian Education • Personal Reading
Research Projects • Worship Resources
Ministry & Outreach
Groundbreaking Bible Study
Now Available!
Claiming
the
Promise Mary Jo Osterman
An Ecumenical Welcoming
Bible Study Resource on Homosexuality
Claiming
the
Promise
An Ecumenical Welcoming Resource on Homosexuality
▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in light
of the Promise that we are heirs of God.
▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation.
▼ Discusses positive biblical images of hospitality and
sexuality.
▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and “sexual
responsibility.”
▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling disciples.
48-page study book; extensive leader’s guide
offers flexible teaching plans
To order call:
Reconciling Congregation Program
773/736-5526
or contact your welcoming program.