Open Hands Vol 2 No 4 - Minorites Within a Minority

Open Hands Vol 2 No 4 - Minorites Within a Minority

2

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1987

Spring

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Minorities
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Minority
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An Interview with Bayard Rustin
PAGE 3
......... .............••••••.......•.•..••.........~
Who Will Be There For Us?
BY RENEE McCOY
PAGE 14
Reflections on Being Latina and Lesbian
BY MARGARITA SUAREZ
PAGE 8
The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. These congrega tions strive to offer the hope that the church can be a reconciled community.
To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Enablers are available locally to assist a congregation which is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation.
Information about the program can be obtained by writing:
Reconciling Congregation
Program
P.O. Box 24213
Nashville, TN 37202
Open Hands (formerly Manna for the Journey) is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Inc .. as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It seeks to address concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church.
Contributing to this issue: Paula Gunn Allen Bayard Rustin Mark Bowman Bradley Rymph Vee Lin Margarita Suarez Renee McCoy Randy Miller Graphic artist:
Beth Richardson Brenda Roth
Open Hands (formerly Manna tor the Journey) is published four times a year. Subscription is $10 for four issues. Single copies are available for $3 each. Permission to reprint IS granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are available as Indicated in the Issue. Subscflpllons and correspond ence should be sent to:
Open Hands
P.O. Box 23636
Washmgton, D.C. 20026
Copyright 1987 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc.
ISSN 0888-8833
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Contents
American society tends to view people in categories-affectionallsexual orientation, gender, race/ethnicity, age, etc. This tendency can help us appreciate the varied cultural and spiritual experiences that make us a wonderfully diverse people. But, as we all know, excessive categorization of people can cripple us-not just when we promote differences that exist
only in our imaginations but also when we use differences to deny our
common personal and spiritual needs or to block us from relating to each
other. As reconcilers within church and society, we strive to more completely
celebrate our valuable differences, as well as similarities, as part of
God's creation and as essential to the creativity and vitality of human
society.
In this issue of Open Hands, we examine what it can mean to simultaneously be an ethnic minority within a predominantly white lesbian/gay culture and a lesbian/gay minority within a predominantly heterosexual racial minority. In (~n Interview with Bayard Rustin" (p. 3), a close aide to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., shares the joys and tensions that surrounded his being a gay Black man in the public eye during King's campaigns. Finding one's way amid double prejudice can be difficult and painful, as Margarita Suarez and Renee McCoy relate in HReflections on Being Latina and Lesbian" (p. 8) and "Who Will Be Therefor Us'!" (p. 14).
A racial group's unique cultural history can be an important element in reconciling one's sexual identity with one's ethnic identity. Sometimes, this history can be essentially supportive, as Paula Gunn Allen tells us it is in many Native American traditions (HDisCo~ering Tribal Memories, " p. 11). At other times, cultural histories can make "coming out" particularly difficult, as Yee Lin explains in (~gainst the Cu"ent" (p. 18).
Poetry can powerfully relate the struggles and joys that are experienced in daily life. In this issue, we present the offerings of various lesbian and gay poets of color (pp. 10,13,16). In SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 17), Randy Miller shares with us (~Litany for Freedom, " drawing on the great Black anthem "Lift Every Voice and Sing." Miller is a graduate of Candler School of Theology who works in youth ministries.
RESOURCES (p. 20) notes books, journals, and organizations with special focuses on the experiences of lesbians and gay men of color.
The RCP REPORT (p. 21) shares the celebrations and deliberations that comprised the first national convocation of Reconciling Congregations, "Empowering Reconciling Ministries," held March 27-29, 1987, in Chicago.
We wish to acknowledge a grant from the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance Education Fund of Washington, D.C., to assist in the printing and mailing ofthis issue.
NEXT ISSUE'S THEME: Celebrating Lesbian/Gay Culture
2 Open Hands
An Interview
with Bayard
'T
PHOTOGRAPHS BY MARK BOWMAN
'T
Bayard Rustin is one of the outstanding human rights proponents and strategists of our day. Usually working out of the public spotlight, Rustin s socioeconomic analysis, commitment to nonviolent social change, and tactical organizing have been integral to the civil rights, pacifist, and trade union movements ofthe mid-20th century. Born March 17, 1912, in Wew Chewer, Pennsylvania, Rustin searly life was influenced by the Quaker pacifism of his grandmother and his personal experiences of a segregated society. After studies at Wilberforce College, Cheyney State College, and the City College of New York, Rustin became race relations director for the Fellowship of Reconciliation. At this time Rustin also began his long-time association with A. Philip Randolph, president of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters, serving asyouth organizer for Randolph's march on Washington. Standing firm to his convictions on justice, nonviolence, and human equality, Rustin served more than two years in Lewisburg Penitentiary as a conscientious objector during World War II and, thereafter, served 30 days on a North Carolina chain gang for his participation in the first Freedom Ride in the South.
In 1955 Rustin became a special assistant to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He helped organize the Montgomery bus boycott and drew up the plans for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. At the behest of King and Randolph, Rustin was the chief organizer of the 1963 March on Washington. Rustin s influence expanded the agenda for this gathering of250, ()()() people beyond demands for integration to include fundamental economic and social reforms.
Rustin founded the A. Philip Randolph Institute in 1964 to build coalitionsfor social change between the labor movement, the black community, and other groups. While serving as executive director there, he has become increasingly well-known as a commentator on human rights and social change.
As a gay man, Bayard Rustin has been subjected to private and public castigation throughout his career. While, in his own words, he "never came out ofthe closet with flags flying," Rustin has not compromised his position as a social pioneer who happens to be gay. In this interview with Open Hands, Rustin addresses this part of his life most often ignored in other public forums.
Starting back at the beginning, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, what did you absorb, spoken or unspoken, about homosexuality in your upbringing?
My early life was that ofbeing a member ofa very, very close-knit family. I was born illegitimate. My mother was about 17 when I was born, and, consequently, my grandparents reared me. The family members were largely Democrats, long before most other Black families. My grandmother was one of the leaders of the NAACP; she had helped found the Black Nurses' Society and the Black community center.
There were two homosexual boys in high school that were rather flamboyant, and the community, I think, looked down on their flamboyance much more than on their homosexuality. But, in general, the question of homosexuality never emerged as a social problem until I got to college. What I heard in high school was: Why don't those guys behave themselves? Why are they always doing something outlandish?
As far as my early life is concerned, there was one other incident. There was one young man who was very highly respected in the community that I can remember as a child hearing Whispering about. But I never could put my finger on what it was that made him, in the eyes ofpeople, different. One ofthe reasons that this was confusing to me was that he was highly respected-he was a member ofthe church, sang in the choir, played the organ, and seemed to be such a responsible, talented, and charming person that I could never get quite what it was that was being whispered about him. I asked my grandmother once, and she said "Oh, well, he's just a little different from other people and I wouldn't pay any attention to it." On one occasion this fellow was visiting our home, and when he was leaving he put his arms around me and kissed me (which had never happened to me with a man before). Later when I was discussing him with my grandmother, I said "You know it's very interesting, but this is the second time that he has hugged me and tried to kiss me." My grandmother simply said, "Well, did you enjoy it?" And I
~""'1"1111
Open Hands 3
An Interview
with Bayard Rustin
said "No, I felt it very peculiar." And she said, "Well, ifyou don't enjoy it, don't let him do it." That's all she said. And that was the extent of it. .
Now it was in college I came to understand that I had a real physical attraction to a young man.
This attraction was to a particular young man?
Oh yes, very definitely. He lived in California. We were both at Wilberforce College in Ohio. He used to come home with me for the holidays. I had a bedroom of my own, but it had twin beds in it-he slept in his bed and I slept in mine. We never had any physical relationship but a very intense, friendly relationship. At that point, I knew exactly what was going on, but I did not feel then that I could handle such a physical relationship. But I never went through any trauma about coming out because I realized what was going on. I was also strong and secure enough to be able to handle it. But I have always sympathized with people who, for one reason or another, go through the great trauma that I never experienced.
Can you say a little more about how you handled your coming out?
There was one young man at home who was interested in me when I came back from college. (This is what makes me know that my grandmother knew what was happening.) My grandmother called me into the kitchen one Saturday morning (we always had sort of weekly talks on Saturday morning in the kitchen while we were preparing lunch), and she said, "You know I want to recommend something to you. In selecting your male friends, you should be careful that you associate with people who have as much to lose as you have." And I said, "What do you mean, as much to lose as I have?" She said, "Well, you have a very good reputation, so you should go around with people who have good reputations. You are being educated; you must make friends with people who are being educated. You have certain values, and you must make certain that people you go out with hold those values. Otherwise you could find yourself in very serious trouble. Because very often people who do not have as much to lose as you have can be very careless in befriending you because they are careless in befriending themselves." I think that a family in which the members know and accept one's lifestyle is the most helpful factor for emotional stability. They were aware that I was having an affair with my friend from college, and they obviously approved it. Not that anybody said, "Oh, I think it's a good thing." But they would say, "Friends have invited us over for dinner tonight, and we told them that your friend is here, and they said it's quite all right for you to bring him
along." There was never any conflict. And yet there was never any real discussion.
A few years later you moved to New York City. The clubs in Harlem in the 1930. and 1940s were known as meccas for gay men and lesbians. Did you interact in that world?
Well, Harlem was a totally different world than I had known. When I came to New York, I lived with a sister (really my aunt) who lived on St. Nicholas Avenue, which was at that time the main thoroughfare of Black New York aristocracy-it was called Sugar Hill. That's where the Black doctors, the lawyers, the professionals, and ministers lived. In the Black upper class there were a great number of gay people. So long as they did not publicize their gayness, there was little or no discussion of it. A number ofthe poets, artists, musicians were gay or lesbian. And the clubs paid little attention. In that early period there were few gay clubs because there didn't need to be. The gay clubs came later, with World War II and after. I think that the Black community has been largely willing to accept its gay elements so long as they were not openly gay. It was later when the gay clubs came, and gay men and lesbians wanted the right to come out of the closet, that I think the Black community became quite as intolerant as the white community.
Why is that, in your estimation? What caused the resistance to acceptance?
Well, I think the community felt that we have, as Blacks, so many problems to put up with, and we have to defend ourselves so vigorously against being labeled as ignorant, irresponsible, shufflers, etc., there's so much prejudice against us, why do we need the gay thing, too? I remember on one occasion somebody said to me, "Goodness gracious! You're a socialist, you're a conscientious objector, you're gay, you're Black, how many jeopardies can you afford?" I found that people in the civil rights movement were perfectly willing to accept me so long as I didn't declare that I was gay.
During those years in New York were there any gay or lesbian role models for you?
Hall Johnson, leader of the Hall Johnson Choir, was gay and one of the most important Black musicians of his time. He was probably the key role model for me. He was responsible for helping train people like Leontyne Price and all kinds of other opera singers, and was the inspiration for many other musicians. I used to go to his
4 Open Hands
An Interview with Bayard Rustin
apartment. It was never a hangout for gay men and lesbians; it was a hangout for musicians and artists. And if you were gay or lesbian (and there were many of us) you were there too.
As ,ou began working for the Fellowship of Reconciliation, did it seem like ,ou were leading a double life-moving in the artist and musician circles in New York and becoming Involved in the different sphere of human rights activists?
It was amongst the Fellowship people that there was hypocrisy-more so-called love and affection and nonviolence toward the human family, but it was there that I found some of the worst attitudes to gays. I experienced this personally after I'd been released from working with the Fellowship when I was arrested in California on what they called a "morals charge." Many of the people in the Fellowship of Reconciliation were absolutely intolerant in their attitudes. When I lost my job there, some of these nonviolent Christians despite their love and affection for humanity were not really able to express very much affection to me. Wherein members of my family (a couple of them had actually fought in the war) were loving, considerate, and accepting. So there are times when people of goodwill may find it difficult to maintain consistency between belief and action. This can be very difficult for some people when faced with a homosexual relationship.
Later, in the early '80s, Adam Clayton Powell threatened to expose ,ou, and J. Strom Thurmond did make
homosexual relationship with Dr. King. But Martin was so uneasy about it that I decided I did not want Dr. King to have to dismiss me. I had come to the SCLC to help. IfI was going to be a burden I would leave-and I did. However Dr. King was never happy about my leaving. He was deeply tom-although I had left the SCLC, he frequently called me in and asked me to help. While in 1960 he felt real pressure to fire me, in 1963 he agreed that I should organize the March on Washington, of which he was one of the leaders.
During those tumultuous times when ,our private life was threatened to be exposed, how did ,ou deal with that? Whom' did ,ou find support from?
In June of 1963, Senator Strom Thurmond stood in the Congress and denounced the March on Washington because I was organizing it. He called me a communist, a sexual pervert, a draft dodger, etc. The next day Mr. A Phillip Randolph called all the Black leaders and said, "I want to answer Strom Thurmond's attack. But I think we ought not to get involved in a big discussion of homosexuality or communism or draft dodging. What I want to do, with the approval of all the Black leaders, is to issue a statement which says: 'We, the Black leaders ofthe civil rights movements and the leaders of the trade union movement and the leaders of the Jewish, Protestant, and Catholic church which are organizing this march have absolute confidence in Bayard Rustin's ability, his integrity, and his commitment to nonviolence as the best way to bring about social change. He will continue to organize the March with our full and undivided support.' " He said, "Ifany ofyou are called, I do not want any
accusations against ,ou. Did ,ou experience man, discussion beyond that-Is he a homosexual? Has he other incidents like these? been arrested? We simply say we have complete confidence
in him and his integrity." And that's exactly what
Yes, for example, Martin Luther King, with whom I happened. worked very closely, became very distressed when a Someone came to Mr. Randolph once and said, "Do number of the ministers working for him wanted him to you know that Bayard Rustin is a homosexual? Do you dismiss me from his staff because of my homosexuality. know he has been arrested in California? I don't know Martin set up a committee to discover what he should do. how you could have anyone who is a homosexual working They said that, despite the fact that I had contributed for you." Mr. Randolph said, "Well, well, if Bayard, a tremendously to the organization (I drew up the plans for homosexual, is that talented-and I know the work he the creation of the Southern Christian Leadership does for me-maybe I should be looking for somebody Conference and did most of the planning and fundraising else homosexual who could be so useful." Mr. Randolph in the early days), they thought that I should separate was such a completely honest person who wanted myself from Dr. King. everyone else also to be honest. Had anyone said to him,
"Mr. Randolph, do you think I should openly admit that I am homosexual?," his attitude, I am sure, would have When was this, the late 19508? been, "Although such an admission may cause you problems, you will be happier in the long run." Because
This was about 1960 actually. This was the time when his idea was that you have to be what you are. Powell threatened to expose my so-called homosexual relationship with Dr. King. There, of course, was no
Open Hands 5
An Interview
with Bayard Rustin
You were involved in many civil rights groups in the '40s, '50s, '80s, '70s. Did any of them at least begin to internally think about lesbian/gay rights?
After my arrest (in California in '53), 1 tried to get the Black community to face up to the fact that one of the reasons that some homosexuals went to places where they might well be arrested was that they were not welcome elsewhere. 1 wanted to get people to change their attitudes, but they always made it personal. They would say, "Well, now, Bayard, we understand-we know who you are and we know what you are, but you're really different." And I'd say, "I don't want to hear that. 1 want you to change your attitudes." But there was little action, and even now it's very difficult to get the Black community doing anything constructive about AIDS because it is thought of as a "gay" problem."
LOOking back over your whole life, in what ways did your being a gay man affect the person that you are, the person you have been?
Oh, 1 think it has made a great difference. When one is attacked for being gay, it sensitizes you to a greater understanding and sympathy for others who face bigotry, and one realizes the damage that being misunderstood can do to people. It's quite all right when people blast my politics. That's their obligation. But to attack anyone because he's Jewish, Black, a homosexual, a woman, or any other reason over which that person has no control is quite terrible. But making my peace and adjusting to being attacked has helped me to grow. It's given me a certain sense of obligation to other people, and it's given me a maturity as well as a sense of humor.
You were asking about role models earlier-I think one of the best, most helpful, Black men in the '20s and '30s and '4Os was a professor at Howard University whose name was Alain Locke. 1 got to know Alain Locke very well. He was gay and held open house for the literati and for young people like young Langston Hughes and Richard Wright. 1 suspect that he was probably more of a male role model for me than anyone else. He never felt it necessary to discuss his gayness. He was always a friend to those who were aspiring to be writers. Therefore, he universalized his affection to people. And he carried himself in such a way that the most people could say about him was that they suspected he was gay, not that he was mean or that he was in any way unkind. So 1 find that it's very important for members of a minority group to develop an inner security. For in that way we become fearless and very decent human beings.
1 shall never forget once at a meeting, a chap from the Fellowship of Reconciliation accused me ofimpairing the morals of minors and stated that the organization should not permit me to associate with all the youngsters in the organization. A young man stood up at this meeting and said something which was so amazing 1 have never forgotten about it. He said, "I want this group to know that 1 am now 22, and 1 went to bed with Bayard Rustin last year. And it was a culmination of five years of the most profound and deep friendship and love that 1 have ever known. And 1am not homosexual, and 1 will marry, and 1 promise you now, if my first child is a boy, I'm going to name him Bayard. 1 learned so many important and good things from him. That's why 1 want my firstborn named Bayard." Now that took a tremendous amount of nerve on his part. Four years later he named his firstborn Bayard.
If you had to do it all over, H you had to live IHe knowing what you know now, would you want to be gay?
1 think, if 1 had a choice, 1 would probably elect not to be gay. Because 1 think that 1 might be able to do more to fight against the prejudice to gays if1 weren't gay, because some people say I'm simply trying to defend myself. But that's the only reason. 1 want to get rid of all kinds of prejudices. And, quite frankly, one ofthe prejudices which 1 find most difficult is the prejudice that some Black homosexuals have to white homosexuals, the prejudice that Oriental homosexuals have to everybody but Oriental homosexuals, and certainly the tremendous amount of prejudice that some white gay men and lesbians have to Blacks. And the reason this is sad to me is not that 1 expect homosexuals to be any different basically than any other human being, but it is sad because 1 do not believe that they know that it is not prejudice to anyone group that is the problem, it is prejudice itself that is the problem.
That brings me to a very important point-people who do not fight against all kinds of prejudice are doing three terrible things. They are, first of all, perpetuating harm to others. Secondly, they are denying their own selves because every heterosexual is a part of homosexuality and every homosexual is part ofthis so-called straight world. If 1harm any human being by my bigotry, 1 am, at the same time, harming myself because I'm a part of that person. And, finally, every indifference to prejudice is suicide because, if 1 don't fight all bigotry, bigotry itself will be strengthened and, sooner or later, it will turn on me. 1 think that one ofthe things we have to be very careful ofin the gay and lesbian community is that we do not under any circumstances permit ourselves to hold on to any indifference to the suffering of any other human being. The homosexuals who did not fight Hitler's prejudice to the Jews finally got it. Now they may have gotten it anyhow. But when the Gestapo came up the stairs after them, they would have died knowing that they were better human beings ifonly they had fought facism and resisted when the Jews were being murdered.
6 Open Hands
An Interview with Bayard Rustin
Are you hopeful for the human race? Do you think prejudice will be overcome? Do you think ifs improved during your lifetime?
Oh, I think, it's improved some places; it's gotten worse in others. But I have learned a very significant lesson from the Jewish prophets. If one really follows the commandments of these prophets, the question of hopeful or nonhopeful may become secondary or unimportant. Because these prophets taught that God does not require us to achieve any of the good tasks that humanity must pursue. What God requires ofus is that we not stop trying. And, therefore, I do not expect that we can do anything more than reduce prejudice to an irreducible minimum. We have the responsibility to try to improve economic and social conditions which I believe may well reduce human problems. As long as there's this much unemployment amongst Blacks and poor Hispanics and poor whites, they will prey on each other. Secondly, we can try to deal with problems ofinjustice by setting up a legal structure which outlaws them and causes people to be punished if they violate them. There's a third way, and this is what I call the way of reconciliation. Ifyou can get enough law and you can get an economic structure, then you can get people to live together in harmony, to go to school together, and they will cooperate in the work force. Then there is a deep learning process in which new stimuli will create new responses. Now these are three of the ways in which I believe we can try to reduce prejudice.
I want to say a word while fm on this, about the uniqueness of the gay and lesbian community today. The gay community now becomes the most important element when it comes to answering the question that you have raised about hope. Because the gay community today has taken over where the Black community left offin '68 or '69. In those days Black people were the barometer of social change; Black people were the litmus paper of social change. At that time if a person was prepared to accept Blacks then it followed that that person was prepared to look at Jews, Catholics, and other persons. Today gay men and lesbians have taken over that social role. Because theirs is now the central problem and, if you are to go to the bottom line, if people cannot accept gay men and lesbians, they may not be able to accept anybody who is different.
That is what makes the homosexual central to how
much progress we can make in human rights. That means
there must be among gay men and lesbians themselves
tremendous political activity. And that means now that we
have an additional good reason for coming out of the
closet. We cannot really respect ourselves unless we're
willing to state quite honestly who we are. Beyond this
there's now another reason why we must come out of the
closet, and that is to help carry on the real political
struggle for acceptance. Because if you do not fight for yourself in a very vigorous way, you cannot expect anybody to join in a fight with you.
Do you have any observations, looking historically, at the Black civil rights movement and the lesbian/ gay civil rights movement-where have there been similarities; where have there been differences?
Well, I think the moral question is similar. But after you get beyond that question, I think there are not many similarities. The gay and lesbian community is not a community which looks anyone way; it is not a community which behaves in anyone way. Wherein Blacks all look Black (which is not true, but people think so) and they have certain things you can point to-they were once slaves, they were once uneducated-gay men and lesbians tend to belong to a more educated, collegetrained group. Gay men and lesbians are not all in that group, by any means, but the visible ones are.
The prejudice to gay men and lesbians is much deeper. Those who fight against gay men and lesbians carry a propaganda which is designed to strike deeply at the most fundamental concerns of our society. Antigay/lesbian proponents will argue that humanity must have the family and gay men and lesbians are anti-family. The society advances only as there are children. Gay men and lesbians will not produce children. The society will only exist as long as there is a high standard ofmoral behavior. Gay men particularly are pictured as running around having sex with everybody in sight and not concerned with anything other than their own immediate pleasure and satisfaction. Now you and I know that much ofthat is decidedly untrue. But gay men and lesbians are looked on as being an unstable element when what you need in the society is stability. As I said this propaganda has been carefully designed.
Beyond all this, the bigots argue that segments ofboth the Old and the New Testament have denounced homosexuality as an abomination. Ifone goes through the scriptures and picks out little pieces of this and that, it's possible to distort. You know, those who believe you shouldn't have anything to drink find the little place in the Bible that justifies that attitude. Those who want to drink will quote St. Paul and say "A little wine is good for thy stomach's sake." People will pick out what they want rather than seeing the scriptures as a growth in spiritual insight. The people who want to carry on racial prejudice will no longer talk about this as the way that God wants it. But people will still tell you that homosexuality is ungodly and destructive. That's what I mean when I say that gay men and lesbians have now become the barometer and the litmus paper of human rights attitudes and social change. 0
Open Hands 7
- -
I Querido Popi,
Howselective memories can be! Why is it that
we remember some moments and forget others? It
fascinates me that at times we seem to be so close
and then other times one or both of us remain
silent. Was our silence due to our fear of the
possibility of rejection and loss? Or could it be that
we are so proud that we can't admit our need to be
needed?
I often wondered what your response would be to me if I openly confronted you with my lesbianism. Remember that anonymous letter you and Momi received concerning my "homosexual friends" and my "special Black woman friend" of whom you needed to be watchful? You didn't want me to be hurt by someone wanting to destroy my reputation. Your initial response was to protect me from unfounded lies and jealousy, so you told Momi to disregard the perversity contained within the note and never to mention it to me. Did you even think that such sexuality existed between women, or did you think that "being queer" was restricted to men?
My fear of being rejected has been so great I've not been able to take the chance of what your answers might be. This same fear has kept me away from seeking out others of our heritage. You have always been my tangible connection to that heritage. You are, in every part of your being, Cuban. I've learned my love of music from you as we danced together. My spirit and passion are in large measure a reflection of how you have presented yourself in the world. Your independence and pride, strength and passion, tender-heartedness and fierce protectiveness of your family are all characteristics that I admire and emulate. Your desire to protect me was not so restricting as to constrain my desire to be independent and strong. You stressed education not boyfriends, success rather than silliness, and above all, a sense of charity to those less fortunate than myself.
What I can't seem to understand is that for all the freedom you gave me to discover myself, you refused to give me your language and your culture. I didn't know for many years what other Latinas were like or even that I was one. If it hadn't been for my Angla mother I would not have been filled with the stories of life in Cuba. Momi taught me what your lives had been like when you were in your homeland and she in a foreign land. Momi fed me mondongo and potaje, black beans and rice that always contained the proper sofrito. She engendered in me a great love for a country which wasn't even her own, so much love that my dream for years was to visit the place of your birth to see for myself where I came from. I've always felt jealous of my brother John and my
8 Open Hands
sister Susan because they grew up in both worlds. They knew what it meant to be Cuban and North American from lived experience and yet now they seem to have opted for their whiteness and not their color. You thought of yourself as white and differentiated from Black. But in the United States you are not white, you are Latino, a person of color. This may be a new concept to you, one that you might want to reject. But it reflects the alienation that you have always felt being in this country. You never quite fit in with the Anglo men in your office and so your friends were other Latins. But you only associated with them outside our home. I wonder if this was because you wanted me to feel at home in this country. You didn't want me to experience the same feelings of isolation that you felt. Perhaps you noticed our similarities. Perhaps you saw my passion and wanted to spare me from the pain that you had felt for years.
Though your intentions were admirable, I soon discovered that I was very different from my surrounding peers. What a twist of fate! You didn't want me to learn Spanish first because you didn't want me to be different from the other American girls. But you didn't realize that I already was a stranger in a strange land. I would never be a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant, tall, thin and blond, genteel, reserved, and able to fit in with the "upper crust" society. I look more like a Gauguin nude than a California girl. I'm loud and boisterous and exude sexuality. I sing and dance in public places even when there is no music. Perhaps this is what you saw and it made you afraid of me.
T here are places in my life now where I feel that I belong after so many years of feeling like an outsider, feeling as if something were wrong with me. Discovering my lesbianism opened my life to me. It gave me my first community of similar-minded people. I "came out" in the church, the Riverside Church on the upper west side of Manhattan, to be exact, in front of 2000 people. I had just begun to attend both the church and Maranatha, Riversiders for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, and had been asked by the leadership if I would give the "Minute for Mission," an annual statement by which Maranatha made its presence and mission known to the whole church. When I got up before all those people, I thought my voice would squeak out, but I appeared courageous and self-confident even though I was trembling. In that moment I felt true to myself. I was not performing a role or living someone else's life. I was acknowledging who I was before God and God's assembly. The moment was so powerful. I knew that God was with me, and that I was her
------
child, her voice speaking out for justice and love.
A few years ago I was asked to be the spokesperson for the Massachusetts chapter of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. No
-other lesbian or gay man was willing to be "out" in front of the Massachusetts Conference of the United Church of Christ. When it was time for me to speak on behalf of the resolution calling on congregations to declare themselves "open and affirming" to lesbian/gay and bisexual persons in the life of the church, I got up before the 700 people bringing my few notes. I began to talk of the pain of isolation that no one from Massachusetts was willing to face the audience so they asked me, a New Yorker. I asked that, if we truly claimed to identify with Christ, we needed to see that he associated with those whom his society thought were the outcasts and the sinners. He loved them as I knew that I was loved by Christ today.
When I finished, some complained because they thought I had been angry. One woman even defended my anger saying that I had a right to be angry after what the church had done to lesbian and gay people in the name of Christianity. But I had been misunderstood. I was not angry, I was passionate in my plea for conversion to the way of Christ. I was again realizing that I was different. Even my sisters and brothers in the Coalition thought I had been angry. People felt threatened by my passion so they called it anger. I began to see that even in the midst of this community I was an outsider. I eventually realized that this was because I was a Latina. I had a different way of being in the world than the Anglos/as. I felt tokenized. They wanted my passion and my courage because they couldn't do it, but they didn't want me to be too outrageous.
After this experience it has taken me some time to be courageous enough to seek out a community of Latinos/as in the church. The overwhelming fear was that I would be rejected. But the fear wasn't just because of my lesbianism. Would I be accused of being a false Latina? I am half Angla, from Momi's side; my lover is an Angla. I don't speak perfect Spanish. I attend one of the most elite educational institutions in the country-Harvard Divinity School. And my own class history was a combination of white middle class and Cuban wealthy class. I felt that I couldn't bear the rejection of the community that I knew to be my own, so I didn't chance it for a long time.
The journey toward my heritage began when I went to Nicaragua before I started seminary. I was clearly a North American and so a foreigner, but when I would tell Nicaraguans that my father was Cuban their attitudes changed. I was no longer completely an outsider but a cousin. One man said in reply to my comment about my heritage, "So then you are Cuban!" This was a new realization for me. I came back from that trip changed. For the first time in my life I had spent significant time with other Hispanic people outside my family.
Finally it came time for my life-long dream to be realized. I received the opportunity to go to Cuba with other Cubans on the Antonio Maceo Brigade.· I was filled with excitement and yet disbelief that this was happening to me. But at the same time it was so painful. I was terrified that I wouldn't fit in. I was in emotional turmoil for the entire three weeks I was in Cuba. I cried in private and I danced and laughed and worked and drank lots of rum in public. Just walking the streets of Havana, I would be overcome with emotion. I was home for the first time and yet it wasn't my home. I was with my people but they weren't my people. I loved what I saw of the revolution, the progress in education, healthcare, housing, and living conditions, but I knew that as a lesbian I wasn't included.
I'll never forget what happened when I came back to the U.S. When I called you and Momi, you spoke to me in Spanish for the first time ever. You initiated the conversation in your native tongue. After an entire lifetime of wanting you to let me in, you finally did. Somehow you knew that I loved Cuba as much as you did. The next Christmas when I brought my slides for the whole family to see, I watched you cry when I sang the Cuban national anthem. I knew then that I belonged to you and your people. I was Cuban too.
I have now been able to accept myself enough to risk the rejection and/or acceptance of other Latin people in the church. I have been warmly welcomed as a sister. Many know that I am a lesbian. Some are challenged by it; some are fearful; some are accepting; but all of them see my commitment to other Latinos/as. My commitment to justice will not be restricted to activism for only one group of oppressed people. I will be all of who I am and live out of that wholeness.
Popi, this has been such a difficult letter to write. These questions that I have asked you, the secrets that I have revealed will never be heard by you. I can only believe that in God's company you have the benefit of deep vision to see the truth about my life. Your passing from this life last October has opened me up to the realization that I cannot depend on you for my connection to my heritage. I must go forward courageously loving and living as only I know how. I am a lesbian Latina and I love myself as I know God loves me.
Con amor y carino, tu hija,
Margarita
*The Antonio Maceo Brigade is a group ofprogressive CubanAmericans committed to normalizing relations between the United States and Cuba.
Margarita Suarez is a member ofthe United ChuJ"ch ofChrist, completing a Master ofDivinity degree at Harvard Divinity School and pursuing ordination. She is a member ofthe Amanecidq Collective-authors ofRevolutionary Forgiveness: Feminist Perspectives on Nicaragua.
Open Hands 9
BELOVED WOMEN
It is not known if those who warred and hunted on the plains chanted and hexed in the hills divined and healed in the mountains gazed and walked beneath the seas were Lesbians It is never known if any woman was a Lesbian so who can say that she who shivering drank warm blood beneath wind-blown moons slept tight to a beloved of shininghair curled as a smile within crescent arms followed her track deep into secret woods dreamed other dreams and who would record these things perhaps all women are Lesbian though many try to turn knotted sinew and stubby cheek into that ancient almostremembered scene perhaps all know the first beloved so well they can shape the power to reclaim her
The portents in the skies-the moons forever growing and falling away, the suns concentric orbits daily crossing themselves like a nunwho's to say that these are signs of what has always been? And perhaps the portents are better left written only in the stars, etched on cave-walls, rosewindows, the perfect naves of brooding cathedrals. Perhaps all they signify is best left unsaid.
Nobody knows whether those women were Lesbians. Nobody can say what such an event might mean.
-Paula Gunn Allen
"Beloved Women"
Copyright 1979 by Paula Gunn Allen. First published in Conditions 7 1981. Reprinted with permission.
n e beginning were tlie people, the spirits, t e gods; \
Ith four-legged, the two-leggeds, the win~l os, the crawlers, the burrowers, the plants, the trees, t,e rocks. There were the moon, the Un, the earth, the waters of earth and sky. There wer the stars, the thunde s, the mountains, the plains, the nw~as and the hills. Til re was the Mystery. There were th G randmothers, the Mothers, the cla s, the people. At t ~ end of the 15th 9f' tury, Anglo-European time, the old world that the tribes, Nations, and Confederacie d in began to be tom apart. At first the tear see~ small enough, and for various reasons we did not grasp the enormity of the threat; indeed, many tribes did not know there was a threat for another 200 to 300 years.
The wars of conquest that began with the landing of Christopher Columbus on an isolated little island on the edge of the southeastern sea gained momentum until every tribe and every aspect of traditional life was swept up in it; during the centuries of those wars everything in our lives was affected and much was changed, even the earth, the waters, and the sky. We went down under wave after wave of settlement, each preceded, accompanied by, and followed by military engagements that were more often massacres of our people than declared wars. These wars, taken together, constitute the longest undeclared war neo-Americans have fought, and no end is in sight.
It is still being fought on reservations, in urban communities, along Indian-white frontiers (which occur wherever Indian and non-Indian interface); in Mexico and in Central America-Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Costa Rica; in South America -Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Venezuela, Peru. In some areas we have been all but extinguished, as in the islands of the Caribbean, Canada, and the United States; in others we continue to survive in large numbers, though usually characterized as peasants and disguised as Hispanics by the Anglo-European/Hispanic media, scholars, officials, and political activists. Still we endure, and many of our old values, lifeways, and philosophies endure with us, for they, like us, are inextricably linked to the land, the sky, the waters, and the spirits of this Turtle Island, this EarthSurface place, that the whites call "the New World."
During the 500 years ofAnglo-European colonization, the tribes have seen a progressive shift from womancentered, egalitarian, ritual-based social systems to secularized structures closely imitative of the European patriarchal system. During this time women (including lesbians) and gay men-along with traditional medicine people, holy people, shamans, and ritual leaders-have suffered severe loss of status, power, and leadership. That these groups have suffered concurrent degradation is not coincidental; the woman-based, woman-centered traditions of many precontact tribes were tightly bound to
ritual, and ritual was based on spiritual understandings
rather than on economic or political ones .... Virtually all
! customary sexual customs among the tribes have been
changed-including marital, premarital, homosexual,
and ritual sexual practices, along with childhood and
I
adult indulgence in open sexuality, common in many
;\ tribes.
\ Colonization has meant the loss not only of language llnd the power of self-government but also of ritual status of all women and those males labeled "deviant" by the Jwhite Christian colonizers. The usual, generally genderbased divisions of labor ... have been altered, prohibited, or forced underground, from whence they have only recently begun to reemerge as the tribes find themselves engaged in a return to more traditional ways of life.
In considering gender-based roles, we must remember that while the roles themselves were flXed in most archaic American cultures, with divisions of "women's work" and "men's work," the individuals fit into these roles on the basis of proclivity, inclination, and temperament. Thus men who in contemporary European and American societies are designated gay or homosexual were genderdesignated among many tribes as "women" in terms of their roles; women who in contemporary societies are designated as lesbians (actually "dykes" is more accuratel) were designated as men in tribal cultures ...
Recent scholarly work reveals the universal or nearly universal presence of homosexuality and lesbianism among tribal peoples, the special respect and honor often accorded gay men and women, and the alteration in that status as a result of colonization of the continent by Anglo-Europeans. These studies demonstrate the process by which external conquest and colonization become internalized among the colonized with vivid clarity. Homophobia, which was rare (perhaps even absent entirely) among tribal peoples in the Americas, has steadily grown among them as they have traded traditional tribal values for Christian industrial ones ...
Some American Indians, usually the most traditional, continue to accord high respect to homosexuals, even to the present day. Of these, many, perhaps most, will not discuss the subject with non-Indians because they are unwilling to have institutions or practices that they value subjected to ridicule or contempt. They also may feel a strong need to protect the homosexuals and lesbians among them and the tribe as a whole from further lifethreatening assaults which for too long have been directed against them.
Other Indians more acculturated and highly Christianized, treat the presence of lesbianism or homosexuality among them with fear and loathing. They do not confine that loathing to homosexuality but direct it to
(continued)
Editor's Note: Bold type indicates editorial additions to ease transitions. while ellipses denote material deleted from the original.
1,A "dyke" can be .iewed as one who bonds with women to further some Spirit and supernatural directive and a lesbian as a woman who is emotionally and physically intimate with other women. (The two groups are not mutually exclusive.)
Open Hands 11
other aspects oftribal ceremonial life, particularly when it has to do with sexuality.
But the pattern of colonized psychology and social valuation among Indian people may be being reversed. Recently, Russell Means of the American Indian Movement . .. said, in defense of homosexuals and their anciently valued place among the people: "The Indian looked upon these unique individuals as something special the Great Mystery created to teach us. These people had something special to tell us." And the Oglala Sioux holy man John (Fire) Lame Deer said, "To us a man is what nature, or his dreams, make him. We accept him for what he wants to be. That's up to him. . .. There are good men among the winktes [the Lakota word for gay men] and they have been given certain powers."
It is significant, I think, that those who are homophobic are also very likely to be misogynist. Indeed, the latter often masquerade as the former. The colonizers' treatment of gays is analogous to their treatment of healers, holy people, dreamers, and other traditional leaders, foremost among whom have traditionally been the women-the matrons, clan mothers, dreamers, and makers of ritual and tribal life in the western hemisphere.
Many people believe that Indian men have suffered more damage to their traditional status than have Indian women, but I think that belief is more a reflection of colonial attitudes toward the primacy of male experience than of historical fact. While women still play the traditional role of housekeeper, childbearer, and nurturer, they no longer enjoy the unquestioned positions ofpower, respect, and decision making on local and international levels that were not so long ago their accustomed functions. Only in some tribes do they still enjoy the medicine or shamanistic power they earlier possessed. No longer, except in backwoods pockets of resistance, do they speak with the power and authority of inviolable law....
In traditional American Indian cultures, power ... is not perceived as political or economic, though status and material possessions can and often do derive from it. Power is conceived of as being supernatural and paranormal. It is a matter of spirit involvement and destiny. Women's power comes automatically, by virtue of her femaleness, her natural and necessary fecundity, and her personal acquaintance with blood.
The tribal ... dyke was likely to have been a medicine woman in a special sense . ... The Lakota have a word for some of these women, koskalaka, which is translated as "young man" or "woman who doesn't want to marry," in our terms, "dyke." These women are said to be the daughters (the followers/practitioners) ofa Spirit/Divinity who links two women together making them one in Her power. They do a dance in which a rope is twined between them and coiled to form a "rope baby." The exact purpose or result of this dance is not mentioned, but its significance is clear. In a culture that values children and women because they bear them, two women who don't want to marry (a man) become united by the creation of a rope baby. That is, the rope baby signifies the potency of their union in terms that are comprehensible to their society, which therefore legitimizes it.
It is clear that among traditional Lakota the koskalaka are perceived as powerful, as are their presumed male counterparts, the winkte. But their power does not constitute the right "to determine [their] own and others' actions."2 Rather, it consists of the ability to manipulate physical and nonphysical reality toward certain ends. ... The power referred to here is magical, mysterious, and sacred. That does not mean that its possessors are to be regarded as a priestly pious people, for this is hardly the case. But it does mean that those who possess "medicine power," women and men, are to be treated with a certain cautious respect. ...
Not so long ago, the American Indians were clearly aware ofthe power that women possessed. Even now there are those among traditionalists who know the medicine power ofwomen. This is why a clear understanding ofthe supernatural forces and their potential in our lives is necessary. More than an interesting tour through primitive exotica is to be gained.
Before we worry about collecting more material from aborigines, before we join forces with those who are in a position to destroy us, and before we decide ... that belief in ancient matriarchal civilization is an irrational concept born ofconjecture and wish, let us adjust our perspective to match that of our foresisters. Then, when we search the memories and lore of tribal peoples, we might be able to see what eons and all kinds of institutions have conspired to hide from our eyes.
The evidence is all around us. It remains for us to discover what it means. 0
lAs it is accurately put by Jane Fishburne Collier in "Women in Politics, " in Michelle Zimbalist Rosalda and Louise Lamphere, eds., Woman, Culture, and Society (Stanford, Calif.: Stanford University Press, 1974), p. 70.
From The Sacred Hoop by Paula Gunn Allen. Copyright 1986 by Paula Gunn Allen. Reprinted by permission of Beacon Press.
I Paula Gunn Allen, a Laguna Pueblo/Sioux Indian, is the author offive books of poetry, including Shadow Country, and the novel The Woman Who Owned the Shadows. She teaches Native American
studies at the University ofCalifornia, Berkeley.
12 Open Hands
FOR EACH OF YOU
Be who you are and will be learn to cherish that boisterous Black Angel that drives you up one day and down another protecting the place where your power rises running like hot blood from the same source as your pain
When you are hungry learn to eat whatever sustains you until morning but do not be misled by details simply because you live them.
Do not let your head deny your hands any memory of what passes through them nor youreyes nor your heart everything can be used except what is wasteful (you will need to remember this when you are accused of destruction). Even when they are dangerous examine the heart of those machines which you hate before you discard them but do not mourn the lack of their power lest you be condemned to relive them.
If you do not learn to hate you will never be lonely enough to love easily nor will you always be brave although it does not grow any easier Do not pretend to convenient beliefs even when they are righteous you will never be able to defend your city while shouting
Remember our sun is not the most noteworthy star only the nearest
Respect whatever pain you bring back from your dreaming but do not look for new gods in the sea nor in any part of a rainbow
Each time you love love as deeply as if it were forever only nothing is eternal.
Speak proudly to your children where ever you may find them tell them you are the offspring of slaves and your mother was a princess in darkness. -Audre Lorde
Reprinted from Chosen Poems: O ld and New by Audre Lourde. Copyright 1963,1976,1974, 1973, 1970, 1966 by Audre Lorde. Reprinted with permission of the publisher, W.W. Norton and Company, Inc.
Open Hands 13
Recently, Don, a friend and colleague of mine, and I were asked to train a group of students from a prestigious East Coast university in methods of facilitating workshops on racism, sexism, and homophobia. Delighted to do anything which might further the involvement of individuals in the destruction of these problems, Don and I excitedly accepted the task and made plans for a productive weekend. On probably the worst winter weekend of the season, we drove to meet the students at a farm in upstate New York, where we set about passing on our skills to a new generation of leaders and, hopefully, activists. Twenty-four students took part in the weekend retreat. Thirteen of them were white; eleven were persons ofcolor. Five were openly gay or lesbian. Don is an Asian gay man; I am a Black lesbian. Don considers himself an agnostic; I am a Christian minister. In spite ofour differences, we are activists and good friends and both committed to the enlightenment and empowerment of all persons effected by oppression.
The weekend was inspiring and challenging from the start. The students were juniors and seniors with well developed skills in critical analyses and information processing. They had finely tuned, questioning, searching minds. Some were from affiuent families, some were not; all were reaching for middle class dreams.
The weekend was intense for all of us. The students requested that we focus more on racism since ongoing workshops on campus dealt with homophobia and sexism. With this in mind, we reserved only the last threehour block oftime for dealing with homophobia. This was a mistake. The method we used requires a great deal of participation and critical looking at one's values. On the issue of homophobia, we discovered that silence had been wrongly interpreted as having dealt with the issue. The workshop was also designed to break through preestablished defenses and encourage participants to say what they really think and feel by creating a safe and trustfilled space. This time, however, when the silence was broken my heart was broken, shattered by the bitter truths of how the Black religious communities have participated in the continued oppression of gay men and lesbians.
There were six Black women in the group, one ofwhom was a lesbian. There were no Black men. Four of the five who were not lesbians proved to be the most homophobic ofthe entire group oftwenty-four. They were also the most religious. The basis of their arguments against lesbianism and homosexuality was that sex between persons of the same sex was unnatural, immoral, and just plain wrong in the eyes of God. God said for humankind to replenish the earth and there was only one way to do that.
Although pressed for time, I hurriedly pointed out to them how the Bible has been used throughout the history of Blacks to oppress us. I spoke in that down-home faith language familiar to their tradition about the oneness of God's spirit and about God's unconditional love and acceptance. They continued to say, "'It's unnatural." I talked about the Black church's commitment to human rights and about love being one of those rights. Still they replied, "It's unnatural." I spoke of the mandate of the Gospel that we work for justice and equality. "It's still unnatural," was the response. Desperate, I talked about how for generations slavery was considered "natural" for Black people. The cries continued, the voices unchanged.
The Black lesbian seated very close to me on the floor hung her head and said nothing. I smelled her fear. I felt the heat of her young soul melting and heard the sounds ofchains fastening around her dreams, locked in place by Black hands. Voices screamed loudly in my head, "Woe to those who come out ofthe tomb and roll the stone back on
14 Open Hands
those left in the grave; their salvation shall be deemed highly questionable until the end of time!" Hallelujah!
These women, sadly, are reflective of too many Black Christians in this country. Although the Black church has been in the forefront of all progressive changes in civil rights since the days of slavery, it has not been consistent in regards to the human rights of gay men and lesbians. Rather, it has been silent or abusive. And either response has helped to further the oppression of lesbians and gay men. I firmly believe that the good health of the Black community depends upon its healthy response in support of the human rights of all peoples including lesbians and gay men. To do less is to allow the untreated wounds ofour brokenness to decay and thus destroy the entire body.
To understand this, one has only to look at the places where brokenness lives in the Black lesbian and gay communities and ask, "Who is working at healing it, and who should be given the call of the Gospel and the oneness of the body of Christ?" Black gay men and lesbians face a dual experience of oppression. They encounter racism almost from birth, and homophobia from the moment they claim their sexualities. As they grow and move among the lesbian and gay communities seeking companionship and relationships, they risk encountering racism from within those very communities to which they have fled. Where do they go for pastoral counseling, for guidance in developing moral behavior and healthy relationships, for affirmation of their relationships, for comfort when relationships fail? Where do they go for help in diffusing the anger and hurt of the racism within the gay and lesbian communities? Who heals the broken painful wounds caused by familial rejection when their sexuality is discovered? Certainly not the Black religious community. Who should be involved in this healing and comforting based on the history of Black people and on the Gospel?
As I think back on that workshop and remember the attitudes expressed, as I look at other instances of brokenness that weaken the Black community, I continue to ask, "Who will be there for us?" Consider drug and alcohol abuse. These life-destroying abuses are allowed to flourish by an uncaring system, a system so insensitive to the needs of Black people that it blames those who are victimized. For many gay men and lesbians, drugs and alcohol are their only means of coping with the pressures of their lifestyles, the only way to numb the pain. Who walks among them witnessing to another way of hope? Who gives assurance of God's sustaining grace, a grace more soothing than any other substance known to humankind?
Consider the brokenness of AIDS, terrifying every segment of our society. By labeling AIDS a gay problem, the homophobia of the Black comunity makes all of us a people living at risk. Why are not Black religious leaders preaching vehemently throughout the land the whole truth about the disease? Why don't Sunday worshipers as they sit in their pews hear that 41% of all AIDS cases are
people ofcolor, or 59% ofall children with AIDS are Black
children, or 52% of all women with AIDS are Black
women, or that of the men being inducted into the Armed
Services, Black men are testing positive 4 to 1. To whom do
these people tum to hold them and pray for them when
they're on their deathbeds? Who preaches their funerals?
Who will be there to wipe the sweat from their brow when
they are too weak from coughing to lift an arm? How
many Black churches send representatives from the
nurse's guild, the deacon board, or the hospitality
committee to the homes of persons with AIDS, gay/
lesbian or not? How many Black religious persons have
screamed, instead, that AIDS is a punishment from God
to gay men and lesbians? Do these same people scream
that sickle cell anemia is God's punishment to the Black
race?
The issues Black lesbians and gay men face without help
and needed support ofthe Black religous communities are
many. The threat of violence is ever present. Quality
health care is absent. Homelessness is increasing in the
Black gay and lesbian communities, and they face both
racial and sexual discrimination in existing shelter
systems and housing programs. Discrimination in employment
and child custody, hunger and loneliness are
painful realities. Every lesbian or gay man engages in a
continuing battle for self-esteem throughout her or his life.
Who will set these captives free?
Nevertheless, we have survived, often in spite of the Black religious communities. I fear, however, that the credibility of these communities will not survive if their silence and rejection ofgay men and lesbians continues. I fear that one day those who call themselves Christian but continue to participate in our oppression will look for God and God will be busy parting the Red Seas of our lives for our liberation. When it comes to lesbian and gay needs and issues, too many in the Black religious communities have opted to march in Pharoah's army. And, we all know what happened to Pharoah's army ...
I often think about the women at that weekend training retreat. I pray that something shifted in their thinking or that they heard something that will at least cause them to question their hard opinions. I pray for them and for the rest of the Black religious communities. As I pray I yearn for us to somehow love one another through these times. Regardless, my faith in God's love for and acceptance of me and my lesbian sisters and gay brothers is unyielding. Each day that I live I know without a doubt "that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love ofGod in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) 0
I Rene McCoy is a minister in the Universal Fellowship ofMetropolitan Community Churches (MCC) and is founder and past pastor of the Harlem MCC. She is currently working with homeless women in New York City.
Open Hands 15
DISCHARGE USN '63
To the Brothers of the "African Queens," the USS
F.D. Roosevelt eVA-42, and the USS Shangri La eVA-3B, 1961 to 1963, but especially to jimmy who tried to give me love and on my discharge gave me a long hard hug and told me "Man this is forever which is not long enough. "
Four years of loving you,
You Black masculine multitude,
You chocolate sailors infinite and numberless.
Long have we come and gone,
And being victims
Of many an unexpected reunion,
Have made drunken jubilation
In the far corners of this earth;
Have made love,
And then again
Bonded to suffer separation.
But here it is now,
My last farewell.
For uncelebrated and without ceremony,
I'll soon be gone,
Leaving you who are well and long loved,
Whose simple presence made the barren vast seas,
And distant lonely unfamiliar shores,
A home.
Lovers should never be separated
As long as love lasts,
But it is my time to move on in life,
To make these experiences,
Our things of the past.
But 0' what a real and live part of me
I am leaving behind,
That on departing, I know
Every moment of true happiness
I may ever find,
Will be a tender moment,
Somewhat akin
To being together with you all again.
-Oye Apeji Ajanaku
Excerpted from In the Life: A Black Gay Anthology
Edited by Joseph Beam (Alyson Publications, 40
Plympton St, Boston, Massachusetts 02116)
POEM
for F.F.
I loved my friend.
He went away from me.
There's nothing more to say.
The poem ends,
Soft as it began,I loved my friend.
-Langston Hughes
FREEDOM
Freedom will not come Today, this year Nor ever Through compromise and fear.
I have as much right As the other fellow has
To stand On my two feet And own the land.
I tire so of hearing people say,
Let things take their course. Tomorrow is another day.
I do not need my freedom when I'm dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow's bread.
Freedom
Is a strong seed
Planted
In a great need.
I live here, too.
I want freedom
Just as you. -Langston Hughes
"Freedom"
from The Panther and the Lash by langston Hughes. Copyright c 1967 by Ama Bontemps and George Houston Bass, Executors of the Estate of Langston Hughes. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A Knopf, Inc.
"Poem"
from The Dreamkeeper and Other Poems by langston Hughes, illustrated by Helen Sewell. Copyright 1932 by Alfred A Knopf, Inc. and renewed 1960 by langston Hughes. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A Knopf, Inc.
Peo
ple: A Litanyfor reedom Some day we shall be free! eUJfaining flje epitif
A Word about the Litany
"I.If
YYeeping may endure/or a night, but joy comes in the morning. "-Psalm 30
Any litany offreedom for lesbians and gay men ofcolor must address the "weary years" and "silent tears" that have characterized the North American experience. Many gay men and lesbians must still bear the double burdens of homophobia and racism in their communities. The expression ofcommunal grief, like communal celebration, can be an enormously transforming experience. Almost 60 years after James Weldon and 1. Rosamond Johnson penned their moving anthem, "Lift Every Voice and Sing, "I lesbians and gay men ofcolor still face those days when it must seem as though "hope unborn had died" andfreedom be delayed. Such experiences mustfind expression in worship. The congregatio.n is invited to speak this liturgy as an affirmation ofsolidarity and reconciliation-with the reminder that such reconciliation never comes without cost or effort. A soloist can sing briefexceptsfrom "Lift Every Voice and Sing. " For some, this liturgy may come asjudgment; for others, as precious words ofgrace. The gospel message is that the night is already far gone and that even now the morning offreedom for all ofGod's children is breaking. Let us rise to meet the morning.
IThefull text and musicfor Lift Every Voice and Sing can befound in the Songs of Zion songbook. published by Abingdon Press.
Litany for Freedom
Soloist:
People:
Leader:
People: Soloist: Leader:
People: Soloist: Leader:
People:
Soloist: Leader:
"God of our weary years"How
long shall we wait, 0 God, and when
shall we be free?
We are your people, scarred by racism and disfigured
by prejudice. Seemingly forgotten by
all save Jesus.
When shall we be free?
"God of our silent tears"In closets not of our making and ghettos not of
our choice, wearied in the struggle, bleeding,
bruised, and tired. Tempted to lay our burdens
and softly steal 'way home.
Our silent tears still flow, 0 God; our cries rise
up to you.
"Thou who hast brought us thus far on the
way"And
lovingly called us yours,
And sweetly whispered our names,
Not "forever oppressed" but "wholly redeemed,"
Not "downtrodden slave" but "child of God."
"Lest our feet stray from the places our God where we met thee. Lest our hearts drunk with the wine of the
world we forget thee." "Shadowed beneath thy hand, May we forever stand"And
not only stand, 0 God, but dance-a righteous gospel step. For your daughters have visioned it, and your sons have dreamed it.
Soloist:
"True to our God, true to our native land."
People:
And to your realm, 0 God.
Leader
And to ourselves as you have seen us.
People:
And to the vision of a brighter day to come.
All:
Amen.
Open Hands 17
BYYEE LIN
urrent
e Chinese are very reticent about sex and malefemale
relationships. Needless to say, femalefemale relationships (i.e., lesbian relationships) simply do not exist; it would be too shocking to the Chinese conscience to even acknowledge their existence. At least this was true when I was growing up; Western influence in the sixties and seventies might have slightly changed that attitude.
I didn't even know the Chinese word for "homosexual" until I was in my late teens. But I have always been aware of my "feelings" for other women since I was four or five years old. Well, I did not play with my sisters or my girl friends in the neighborhood that much because all they wanted to play was housekeeping and cooking. Instead, I grew up playing soccer, badminton, and Chinese chess with the boys. In particular, I adored two neighborhood girls who could play a good game of badminton and always beat all the boys in badminton, too. I simply gravitated toward female figures since early childhood. I went to an all-girls' school as a third-grader, and have been in all-women schools ever since-including college and graduate school!
These women-oriented environments helped me build a very strong and positive sense of being female. I was lucky in this respect, because otherwise I would have grown up just like any other girl from a traditional Chinese family. I can see the reflection of what could easily have been "me" in 99 percent of my girl friends and schoolmates. They all grew up with the very stifling-to me, at least-notion ofbelonging to a man and submitting to him in the not-so-distant future. It is a Chinese virtue for a woman to be a submissive wife-gentle and obedient.
I knew what was expected of me as a Chinese woman. It is terribly improper for Chinese women to even speak up in the presence of men. But I must say my parents are, in certain ways, frightfully unconventional by Chinese standards. Perhaps because I am the eldest daughter, my father always enlisted my help in "manly" jobs like waxing the floor, moving furniture, fixing the stereo, etc. Moreover, they often stepped out of the way to encourage me to excel in my studies, in sports, and gave me (and my sisters) plenty of opportunities for extracurricular activities, such as joining the Girl Scouts, taking music lessons, and so on. Such parental attitudes for bringing up girls were quite unheard-of then in a Chinese community.
I grew up a free spirit, full of self-confidence and ambitions unseeming of a Chinese woman. Unlike the "average" Chinese young woman, who is usually reluctant to achieve or express herself knowing that she will have a husband who will speak and provide for her anyway, I learned young that I am an individual who has to fend for myself. Therefore, the idea of submitting to a man (i.e., my supposed husband) was sickening to me. Besides, I have always felt that I "love" women, which, by the way, made me even more aware of my "oddity" among other Chinese women, as if being such an "un-Chinese free spirit" were not enough.
It is not therefore easy to imagine that lesbians in a Chinese community-a culture imbued with Confucian morality and decency-are extremely hard to come by (to
18 Open Hands
put it rather crassly). Even as liberal as my parents are, when it came to my lesbianism, they were alternately shocked, offended, shamed, despaired, and outraged. And I, in turn, was startled too, because I thought-innocently enough-my parents would support my un-Chinese, unconventional mode of life all the way.
My high school experience was an episode of my onesided infatuations with various girls in the senior classes. This sort of thing, I learned, was quite common in all-girls' high schools. But deep inside, I knew that in my case it was a serious emotional and physical attraction, and I was not just doing what was "in" under the circumstances. (Sure enough, many of my schoolmates whom I thought were also courting other girls are now "happily married" and raising their children.) I cannot speak for all Chinese lesbians, but I certainly did not feel any guilt about having love feelings for other women. I just felt strange that I did not have the kind of feelings for boys as my schoolmates had. So I kept my lesbian-I didn't know the word then, of course-feelings to myself, and paid lip service whenever they talked about boys. I felt positive and good about loving other women even then. I felt as if! could be the exception: that I could be a woman-loving woman and be accepted by my Chinese environment.
A temporary setback came when I was sixteen. My lesbian feelings were getting too intense for me to comfortably live with. At the same time, peer-group pressure was bearing especially hard on me. It was the time when everybody (so it seemed) in my class started actively dating boys. I had never felt so odd, isolated, and totally confused. Finally I succumbed to societal pressure-a move that I bitterly regret till this day. I started dieting in order to look more "feminine" and appealing (I was far too muscular and athletic then); I learned to walk and talk like a "lady"-that is, when I couldn't help not talking. The pressure on me to be "normal," or rather, to be like any other Chinese girl, was just overwhelming. My dieting resulted in a not-so-mild case of malnutrition; but at least I got what I thought I wanted-boyfriends. It took another two years before I could force myself to feel marginally comfortable with going out on a date.
Just as I began to feel success in conforming to the expectations for me as a young Chinese woman, I met my first love. It totally took me by surprise, because I thought I had by then gotten my lesbian feelings well under control, and that I was on my way to become a bona fide heterosexual. I was a senior in high school at the time, and she was my ciassmate.
I was so thoroughly excited at how supremely good it felt to love a woman that I started directly publicizing our relationship in school. That was very naive and foolish of me; my positive attitude toward lesbianism certainly proved to be one of a kind. When my parents found out about it, they took me to lunch one day, and discussed it with me in a restaurant (as unbelievable as it may sound). Throughout the two-hour discussion, the word "lesbianism" never came up-but we certainly knew what we were talking about. They wanted a confession from me that I "will never do it again." They never got a word of remorse from me, but instead I defended my love unequivocally. It is unthinkable to disobey one's parents if you are a properly brought-up Chinese. I am sure that my parents were very hurt as well as indignant. But I had absolutely no shame or guilt. Mine was quite a "gutsy" coming out considering my cultural background and the circumstances.
Mylover left me, rather reluctantly, probably because of all the publicity. My family "ostracized" me for a few months. It was emotionally an extremely trying time for me, but I still would not "confess" that I had done anything wrong. Then came the good news that I got a scholarship to attend college. And the whole matter was dropped instantaneously as far as my parents were concerned.
They somehow had this illusion that once I went to college, I would "tum a new leaf," that is, I would be able to leave the "bad influence" in my hometown that got me into "perversion." Of course, just the opposite happened once I left home. My long-suppressed lesbian feelings were set free. But most importantly, having gone through the painful experience of being misunderstood (even by one's own dear parents) and condemned-because of a love so powerful and beautiful-I was determined to work for the liberation of all lesbians. If society is so stubborn and blind as to continue its bigoted oppression of lesbians, at least my (our) efforts can inform our sisters that it is not "sinful" or "perverted" to love other women.
I am sure that other Chinese lesbians may have quite a different story in terms of self-esteem and pride in their lesbianism. Several years ago, I came into contact with other Chinese lesbians in my hometown for the first time. I then realized that there was an "underground network" oflesbians that I was not aware ofin my high school days. They were mostly high school students from middle-class families. They would meet at private parties since there were not "women's bars" as such. It was a very close-knit and secretive social circle. It took quite a bit of "leverage" for me to "crack in" at first. But I had a hard time blending into the group anyway because they were very much into role-playing. Since feminism apparently hadn't yet made any impact there, they were unaware that they did not have to pattern their relationships upon the sexist structure of a stereotyped heterosexual relationship. It was almost ironic to see how submissive women could be even to other women (i.e., to their male-identified lovers).
Perhaps submissiveness is a distinctive characteristic of Chinese women ... but perhaps it is a universal phenomenon among women-we who have been subject to the indoctrination of male "supremacy" since birth. For this reason, I am committed to freeing my sisters from guilt and shame for loving other women. Lesbianism is the ultimate defiance vis-a-vis the SUbjugation of women by men-an oppression that recognizes no racial or cultural boundaries. 0
I Originally printed as Yee Lin, "It Is Unthinkable to Disobey One's Parents ifYou Are a Properly Brought-up Chinese": in Ginny Vida, editor, Our Right to Love (Englewood Cliffs, NJ.: Prentice-Hall, Inc.,
1978).
Open Hands 19
Black
Women. New York: Kitchen Table,
cial gay male experience in North Amerton:
South End Press, 1983. An autobio1983.
ica.
graphy in poetry and prose ofgrowing up lesbian with a Mexican mother and an Anglo father.
Periodicals Mud Flower Collective. God's Fierce WhimBlack/
Out. The quarterly magazine of the
Nonfiction
sey. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1985. ChrisNational
Coalition of Black LesbiansAllen, Paula Gunn. The Sacred Hoop: Retian
feminism and theological education.
and Gays. News of particular interest to covering the Feminine in American Indian
Black, Hispanic, and white women-a
Black lesbians and gay men, and literaTraditions. Boston: Beacon, 1986. A noted
mixture of working class, feminists, theoture
by lesbian/gay black writers. Write: Native American poet explores a wide
logians, and ethicists-address racism,
NCBLG, 930 F Street NW-Suite 514, variety of issues related to the history and
sexism, homophobia, and classism.
Washington, DC 20004.
current status of Native American women.
Williams, Walter L. The Spirit and the Flesh:
Conditions Magazine. Collective-publishedIncludes two chapters with a particular
Sexual Diversity in American Indian Culmagazine
of writing by women, emfocus on homosexuality in American
ture. Boston: Beacon Press, 1986. A leadphasizing
writing by lesbians. LatestIndian culture, "How the West Was
ing gay historian who is also a professor
issue, "13: International Focus I," 1986.
Really Won" and 'Hwame, Koshkalaka,
ofAmerican Indian studies examines the
Write: Conditions, P.O. Box 56, Vanand the Rest: Lesbians in American
Native American berdache tradition, whereBrunt
Station, Brooklyn, NY 11215.
Indian Cultures."
by some male tribal members assume
Baldwin, James. The Price of the TIcket:
"feminine" or "androgynous" social and
Collected Nonfiction 1948-1985. New
sexual behaviors to exercise spiritual and
York: St. Martin'sIMarek, 1985. Contains
Organizations
educational leadership. One chapter disalmost
all of this major gay writer's Asian American Lesbian and
cusses the situation of gay Native Ameriimportant
nonfiction. Depicts the difGay Men's Network
cans in the United States today.
ficulty and pain a Black person can face P.D. Box 29627
in trying to forge a clear identity in the Philadelphia, PA 19144
United States.
215/849-4612
Elsasser, Nan; MacKenzie, Kyle; and Tixier y
No~ls
Gay American Indians Vigil, Yvonne. Las Mujeres: ConverBaldwin,
James. Another Country. Originally
1347 Divisadero Street-Suite 312sations from a Hispanic Community. Old
published, 1962. New York: Dell, 1985.
San Francisco, CA 94115Westbury, N.Y.: The Feminist Press, 1980.
___~ Giovanni's Room. Originally pubTwenty-
one New Mexican Women coverNational Association of Black and
lished, 1955. New York: Dell, 1985.
White Men Together ing four generations recall their experien___.
Just Above My Head. Originally
ces being Hispanic in their home state.
584 Castro Street-Suite 140
published, 1979. New York: Dell, 1980.
Includes one Hispanic lesbian's sharing San Francisco, CA 94114
Walker, Alice. The Color Purple. Originally
of her personal "coming out."
415/431-1976
published, 1982. New York: Pocket Books,
Gomez, Alma; Moraga, Cherrie; and Romo1983.
National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays Carmona, Mariana. Cuentos: Stories by 930 F Street NW-Suite 514u tinas.New York: Kitchen Table, Women Washington, DC 20004of Color Press, 1983. Stories of varied 202/265-7117
Poetry Hull, Gloria T.; Scott, Patricia Bell; and
experiences of Hispanic women.
Allen, Paula Gunn. Shadow Country. Los
Paz y Uberacion
Smith, Barbara. But Some of Us Are
Angeles: University of California, Amer(
Third World lesbian/gay
Brave: Black Women's Studies. Old Westican
Indian Studies Center, 1982.
information network)
bury, N.Y.: The Feminist Press, 1982.
Clarke, Cheryl. U ving as a Lesbian. Ithaca,
P.O. Box 600063
Black women, including lesbians, discuss
N.Y.: Firebrand Books, 1986.
Houston, TX 77260
topics such as racism, sisterhood, black
___. Narratives: Poems in the Tradition of
713/523-9061
Anthologies Beam, Joseph, ed. In the Ufe: A Black Gay Anthology. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1986. In more than 40 short stories, poems, essays, and other works, 29 contributors share the joys, frustrations, and pains of being black and gay, both in a predominantly white heterosexual society and in Black heterosexual sub society. Moraga, Cherrie, and Anzaldua, Gloria. This Bridge Called My Back: Writinp by Radical Women of Color. Originally published, 1981. New York: Kitchen Table, Women of Color Press, 1983. Black, Asian American, Hispanic, and Native American women examine such issues as feminism, homophobia, and racism through prose, poetry, personal stories, and analyses. Smith, Michael J., ed. Black Men/White Men: A Gay Anthology. San Francisco: Gay Sunshine Press, 1983. Forty-three writers and artists explore the Black and interrafeminism,
and theology.
Joseph, Gloria I., and Lewis, Jill. Common Differences: Conflicts in Black and White Feminist Perspectives. Originally published, 1981. Boston: South End Press, 1986. Examines areas in which Black and white feminist visions often differ-sexuality, men and marriage, mothers and daughters, etc. Lorde, Audre. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Trumansburg, N.Y.: The Crossing Press, 1984. Eight essays on contemporary liberation struggles by the black lesbian poet, including "Sexism: An American Disease in Blackface."
___. Zami: A New Spelling of My N'ame. Trumansburg, N.Y.: The Crossing Press, 1983. Lorde combines history and myth with autobiography to tell of her personal coming of age, including her realization ofthe force ofwomen working together as "friends and lovers."
Moraga, Cherrie. Loving in the War Years. BosWomen
of Color Press, 1983.
Flores, Angel, and Flores, Kate, eds. Defiant Muse: Hispanic Feminist Poems from the Middle Ages to the Present. New York: The Feminist Press, 1986.
Hemphill, Essex. Conditions. Washington,
D.C: Be Bop Books, 1986. ___. Earth Ufe. Washington, D.C: Be Bop Books, 1985.
Hughes, Langston. The Panther and the Lash: Poems of Our TImes. New York: Alfred A Knopf, 1967.
___. Selected Poems. New York: Vintage Books, 1974. Lorde, Audre. Chosen Poems: Old and New. New York: W. W. Norton, 1982. ___~ Our Dead Behind Us. New York: W.
W. Norton, 1986. Parker, Pat. Jonestown and Other Madness. Ithaca, N.Y.: Firebrand Books, 1985.
Parkerson, Michelle. Waiting Rooms. Washington, D.C Common Ground Press,
20 Open Hands
Empowering Reconciling
Ministries
~efirst national convocation of
• Reconciling Congregations drew over 100 persons committed to making their local churches truly inclusive, particularly in their ministries with lesbians and gay men. The convocation, entitled "Empowering Reconciling Ministries," was held March 27-29, 1987, in Chicago.
The convocation offered participants a unique opportunity to share stories of what was happening in their local churches concerning ministries with lesbians and gay men, to reflect on the biblical/theological foundations of such reconciling ministries, and to plan for mutual support and nurture in this growing movement within the United Methodist Church.
The Community Gathered
Among the 120 participants at the convocation were representatives of all 22 current Reconciling Congregations. The diversity of the gathered community-gay, lesbian, straight, and bisexual, from different races and cultures-was a model of the inclusive Body of Christ. A further breakdown of participants indicates that they were:
80% laypersons and 20% clergy and 55% women and 45% men. They represented:
51% Reconciling Congregations,
14%potential Reconciling Congregations,
8% UMC general boards and
agencies,
6% annual conferences,
6% other denominations, and
15% resource persons. They came from all UM jurisdictions:
35% North Central,
25% Northeastern,
8% Southeastern,
5% South Central, and
25% Western, with
2% from Canada.
March 27-29, 1987
Chicago, .&.&'"'.....&v,..."
A National Convocation of Reconciling Congregations
Encompassing this diversity, a unity of concern and purpose was evident in the times of worship, informal conversation, and formal discussion and planning throughout the weekend. Many participants commented that a highlight of the weekend was the experience of Christian community-"the spirit of community that happened so wonderfully," "the story sharing, sharing each others pains and joys," "dissolution of isolation," "getting strength to support and carry on."
The Community Symbolized
A significant symbolic activity of the convocation was the cooperative creation of a large banner. Framed by the cross and flame, pink triangle, and green vine (symbols of the Reconciling Congregation Program), the banner was comprised of 16 panels decorated by the various delegations with symbols of their local communities and their aspirations for their churches.
A special celebration was held Saturday evening, at which each delegation shared the story illustrated in its panel. One participant noted that the four blank panels at the base of the assembled banner represented not incompleteness but, instead, the promise of other local churches and communities joining the growing movement of Reconciling Congregations.
Over the next several months, this banner will be transported to the various Reconciling Congregations for display as a sign of the network that exists between them.
The Community in Reflection
Several activities during the weekend helped participants to learn more about lesbian/gay concerns within the church and to consider new avenues for reconciling ministries.
A Friday afternoon panel consisting of Mary Gaddis and Morris Floyd, cospokespersons of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian! Gay Concerns, and Melvin Wheatley, retired UMC bishop, addressed "Lesbian/Gay Issues in the United Methodist Church: Past and Future."
(continued)
Open Hands 21
The panelists cited events, initially seen as insignificant in the life ofthe UMC, which have rippled out in !heir ~ffects to be hopeful signs of InclUSiveness of lesbian/gay concerns within the denomination.
Four workshops, also held Friday afternoon, dealt with possibilities for r~conciling ministries: I) Homophobia/Human Sexuality Education; 2) AIDS and the Ministry of the Church; 3) Family/Friends of Lesbians and Gay Men and Lesbian/ Gay Youth; and 4) Ritualizing Lesbian/Gay Lives. Each workshop not ~n~y provided information to participants but also stimulated discussion of ministries in these areas already taking place in Reconciling Congrega tions.
Tex Sample, professor of church and society at St. Paul School of Theology in Kansas City, addressed the convocation on Friday evening on "Images ofa Reconciling People." Drawing on the Gospel of John and his experience growing up in the South, Sample called on the church to witness to life in the midst of death, to freedom and liberation in the midst of bondage, and to truth in the midst of distortion and lies. He recognized Reconciling Congregations as one form of this witness.
On Saturday morning Emilie Townes, on the faculty of GarrettEvangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, spoke to the convocation on "Linking Homophobia with Other Social Justice Concerns." Townes reminded the audience that the "dynamic that allows a child to exist in poverty is the same one that allows us to fear a gay man or lesbian. That dynamic is sin. ... The link between homophobia and race, ?r sex, or disability, or anything else IS that all forms of discrimination and injustice deny God's grace working in our lives."
The Community In Action
The convocation also devoted time to planning for the develop~ent of the Reconciling Congregation Program. Various working groups focused on: I) Promoting the Reconcilin~ Congregation Program; 2) Developing Reconciling Minis!ries in a Local Church; 3) Networkl~g among Reconciling Congregations; and 4) Impacting the General Church. The participants developed many recommendations to be taken back to their local churches for consideration and implementation. Among these recommendations were:
**Help make the RCP more visible by presenting information on the program at district and annual conference events,' by placing ads and anicles in the press; by promoting subscriptions to Open Hands; and by using the RCP logo on local church stationery.
**Provide a resource packet to support and educate congregations interested in the program.
**Encourage Reconciling Congregations to
develop and implement a program ofeducation
f or all ages that opens dialogue on
human sexuality with special emphasis on
the gift ofsexual diversity.
**Designate a Reconciling Congregation
Sunday with a special offering.
**Provide resources to local churches to
i".clude the concerns and celebrations oflesbzans
and gay men within the care and nurture
ofthe congregation.
**Urge Reconciling Congregations to host
quarterly events to build community and
encourage friendships among all groups and
individuals within the local church.
**Encourage Reconciling Congregations to
become involved in lesbian/gay civil rights
concerns in the local community.
*.*Exchange newsletters and worship bulletms
between Reconciling Congregations.
**Encourage annual conferences to become
Reconciling Conferences.
**Propose that Reconciling Congregations
send letters to all clergy within their annual
conferences telling about the program.
**Suggest that current Reconciling Congregations
"adopt" emerging Reconciling
Congregations.
**Encourage Reconciling Congregations to
stud~ the question of the ordination of
lesbzans/gay men and consider making a
request or stating willingness to accept an
openly gay/lesbian pastor.
**Insure a visible presence of Reconciling
Congregations at the United Methodist
General Conference in St. Louis in May
1988.
**Provide a resolution to General Conference recommending the Reconciling Congregation Program as a model of ministry and church growth.
**Provide a quarterly newsletter (in addition to Open Hands) to disseminate news on activities and happenings within Reconciling Congregations.
**Develop a steering or advisory committee for the RCP.
For a complete report on all the recommendations presented at the convocation, see your congregation's representative to the convocation or write to the Reconciling Congregation Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. Many of these recommendations will be presented for consideration within the individual Reconciling Congregations.
United Methodist Church Officials Respond
toCon~tion
I nvitations to send obselVers to the Reconciling Congregation convocation and requests for fmancial support provided a flurry of activity within the United Methodist general boards and agencies. This activity was reported extensively in the church and secular press in the weeks preceding the convocation.
The General Board of Discipleship, at its February meeting,
engaged in a prolonged debate over sending an obselVer to the convocation. At the conclusion of the debate, the board was deadlocked at 36-36. When a second vote also resulted in a tie, the board's president, Bishop George Bashore (Boston Area), cast the deciding vote against sending a representative to the convocation. Bashore cited concern that a positive vote could be construed as "acceptance" of gay men and lesbians.
Board members supporting the invitation issued a call for their colleagues to make voluntary contributions to finance the expenses of an unofficial representative of the board. Nancy Starnes of Dallas volunteered to attend the convocation, and over $200 was raised to support her.
The General Commission on the Status and Role ofWomen (GCSRW) agreed to provide a $1,000 grant to help subsidize the travel of representatives of Reconciling Congregations to the convocation. Cognizant of the UM law banning funds to "promote the acceptance of homosexuality,"· the commission made this grant from a special endowment fund rather than from World SeJVice funds contributed by local churches.
Subsequently the General Council on Finance and Administration (GCFA) invoked the official funding ban for the first time since its adoption in 1976 and vetoed the grant by
National program recommendations are being followed up by individuals who volunteered during the weekend along with the program coordinators.
The Community Celebrated
M ter many hours of work, the convocation closed with opportunities for celebrating all that had happened in the first "almost three years" of the Reconciling Congregation Program.
GCSRW. As the reason for its decision, GCFA cited the workshop, "Ritualizing Lesbian/Gay Lives," in which liturgies for blessing lesbian/ gay relationships were to be discussed. However, the council did state that this decision did not effect the use of funds to send observers to the event The general secretary of GCFA, Clifford Droke, stated that "we have directors and staff attending all kinds of events without assuming the agency is necessarily endorsing the outcome."
The GCFA action was strongly criticized by Affirmation cospokespersons Mary Gaddis and Morris Floyd. They noted that this decision "illustrates perfectly the dilemma Par.
906.12 of the Discipline creates for the church. It severely limits our church's ability to share resources, to learn, and to be in ministry with all of its people."
One other UM agency, the General Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns, voted not to send an official representative, and a staff member attended unofficially.
Official representatives did attend the convocation from the General Board of Church and Society, the General Board of Global Ministries' National and Women's Divisions, the General Commission on Religion and Race, the General Commission on the Status and Role ofWomen, the National Youth Ministry Organization, and United Methodist Communications.
*Paragraph 906.12 of the UM Book of Discipline states that the General Council on Finance and Administration "shall be responsible for ensuring that no board, agency, committee. commission. or council shall give United Methodist funds to any 'gay' caucus or group, or otherwise use such funds to promote the acceptance of homosexuality. The council shall have the right to stop such expenditures."
On Saturday evening the local Chicago support team prepared a delicious Indonesian rice table for dinner. This was followed by sharing of songs, stories, and poetry. Each Reconciling Congregation was formally recognized for its decision to join the program.
On Sunday morning the convocation affirmed the reports of the various work groups and joined in a litany to claim future promises and hopes for the movement. The convocation
concluded by joining together for worship with the host congregation, the United Church of Rogers Park, which is in the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation.
Convocation participants dispersed with a renewed sense of hope and strength garnered from common joys, pain, and dreams shared during the weekend. Many persons expressed forethoughts of a renewed, vital movement ofGod's spirit within the church. As one participant observed: "This convocation is another watershed event in the history of the United Methodist Church. Its impact may not be swiftly felt by the denomination, but it will be felt. The UMC will never be the same because of the coming together of this group."
The Community Remembered
Indicative of the historic nature of this gathering, many of the convocation activities were recorded on videotape. In addition to recording the activities of the convocation, interviews with several individuals and groups were taped during the weekend. Mter needed funds are received, the tapes will be edited and produced in a format that can be a resource to Reconciling Congregations, current and emerging, and other individuals and groups concerned with ministries with lesbians and gay men within the church.
Audiocassette tapes ofthe following presentations are now available:
Forum: Lesbian and Gay Issues in the
UMC: Past and Future.
"Images of a Reconciling People," by
Tex Sample.
"Linking Homophobia with Other
Social Justice Concerns," by Emilie
Townes.
These tapes may be ordered for $5.00 each (add $2.00 shipping to each order) from: Reconciling Congregation Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202. (continued)
Open Hands 23
Kairos UMC (Kansas City, Missouri)
Regional Workshops
Four New Reconciling
Kairos was founded in 1970 as an
Congregations Provide Training
experimental congregation; it is peo'VTe welcome four new Recon~o regional workshops to assist
ple-oriented, not building-oriented.
..I. potential Reconciling Con~ciling Congregations since the
Kairos began and continues as a
gregations were held this winter. In
last issue of Open Hands:
house church, meeting primarily in
Chicago, 45 persons gathered on
members' homes. Lay involvement is
Dumbarton UMC (Washington, D.C.)
February 2, and 15 persons came
the focal point of both worship and
together in Salem, Oregon, on March
study. Kairos is recognized as one of
Dumbarton is a congregation of 14, to learn more about the Reconcilnearly 200 active members who comthe
highest per capita mission-giving
ing Congregation Program and tomute from all around the Washingcongregations
in the United Methplan
steps for implementing the proton metropolitan area. These memodist Church.
gram within their local churches.
bers are drawn to Dumbarton for its
Kairos is involved in a number of
Similar workshops are being diverse local and global ministries
ministries and social justice conplanned
in other parts ofthe country and its commitment to empowering
cerns. The congregation is commitfor
fall 1987. If you would like to laypersons in its ministry. Dumbarted
to distributing one-half of its
assist in planning a workshop for ton worships in a historic building in
income beyond the congregation.
your annual conference or area, the Georgetown neighborhood. The
Kairos supports a number of nawrite
to the Reconciling Congregacongregation provides Sunday lunch
tional and local missions, people in
tion Program, P.O. Box 24213, Nashand clothing for a women's shelter,
need, and seminary students. The
ville, TN 37202.
support for a bilingual learning cencongregation
provides communion ter, and space for Mid-Atlantic Affirand
fellowship at a boarding home mation and the Dumbarton Concert
for disadvantaged and handicapped
Reconciling Congregations
Series.
persons.
W.hinglon Sq..-,. UMC Wheaclon UMC
As a sanctuary congregation,
c/o Don Himpel c/o Carol Larson
Trinity UMC (Berkeley, California)
135 W. 4th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue New York, NY 10012 Evanston, IL 60201
Dumbarton sponsors an El Salvadoran
refugee, and several members
Trinity was established more
...rk Slope UMC Albany ...rk UMC
have traveled to Nicaragua. The conthan
100 years ago and still serves
c/o Beth Bentley c/o Ted Luis, Sr. 6th Avenue & 8th Street 3100 W. Wilson Avenue
gregation also has an active peacenearby
campuses (University ofCaliBrooklyn,
NY 11215 Chicago, IL 60625
makers group.
fornia and the Pacific School of
CalyaryUMC IrYing ...rk UMC
c/o Chip Coffman c/o David Foster 81 5 S. 48th Street 3801 N. Keeler Avenue
Religion) and communities. The
Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC
congregation was right in the middle
Philadelphia, PA 19143 Chicago,lL 60641
(Atlanta, Georgia)
ofthe action ofthe tumultuous 1960s
Dumbllrton UMC Kalro. UMC c/o Ann Thompson Cook c/o Richard Vogel
In spring 1984, after months of
and '70s and, with other mainline
31 33 Dumbarton St., NW 6015 McGee
Washington, DC 20007 Kansas City, MO 64113
soul-searching and prayer and in an
congregations, faced crises of faith
Christ UMC at. ...ur.UMC c/o John Hannay c/o George Christie
effort to combat decades ofdeclining
and questions of direction. From a
membership and increasing costs,
membership of 1,000 in 1960, a core
4th & I Streets, SW 1615 Ogden Street
Washington, DC 20024 Denver, CO 80218
Grant Park UMC and Aldersgate
group of 300 persons remains to
at. John'. UMC Wesley UMC
UMC voted to merge and become
enthusiastically face the challenges
c/o Howard Nash c/o Patty Oriando
2705 St. Paul Street 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Baltimore, MD 21218 Fresno, CA 9371 0
one congregation. This was both a of today.
sad and joyful occasion; it marked
Trinity is a sanctuary church and
Gl'llnt Park-Aldengate ......nyUMC
the end of one era and the beginning
houses the offices of the East Bay
UMC c/o Kim Smith c/o Sally Daniel 1268 Sanchez Street
of another.
Sanctuary Covenant. In December
575 Boulevard, SE San Francisco, CA 941 14
The congregation provides space
1986, the congregation opened its
Atlanta, GA 30312
Trinitr UMC
EdgehHI UMC c/o Elli Norris c/o Viki Matson 2320 Dana Street
for the Grant Park Cooperative
doors to street people to sleep overLearning
Center. It also participates
night and provided this service until
1502 Edgehill Avenue Berkeley, CA 94704
Nashville, TN 3721 2
in a community food bank and a
the city of Berkeley opened a shelter
Sunnyhilla UMC Cenlnl UMC c/o Cliveden Chew Haas
community center. The pastor has for the homeless.
c/o Howard Abts 335 Dixon Road
been involved in ministry with AIDS
The congregation entered the
701 West Central at Milpitas, CA 95035 Scottwood
Wallingford UMC
patients. It was this ministry that led
process of becoming a Reconciling
Toledo, OH 43610 c/o Chuck Richards
Grant Park-Aldersgate to consider
Congregation with an intentional
UniwenHy, UMC 2115 N. 42nd Street
c/o Steven Webster Seattle, WA 98103 1127 University Avenue
becoming a Reconciling Congregaplan
to provide opportunity for all
Capitol Hili UMC
tion.
members to be involved in study and
Madison, WI 53715 c/o Pat Dougherty
The church family of 110 memdiscussion.
The Reconciling Statew.
leyUMC 128 Sixteenth Street East clo Tim Tennant-Jayrle Seattle,WA 98112
bers is small but has witnessed
ment written by a working group was
Marquette at Grant Street
growth in the past two years.
Minneapolis, MN 550403
adopted unanimously.
24 Open Hands