Open Hands Vol 3 No 4 - Building Reconciling Ministries

Open Hands Vol 3 No 4 - Building Reconciling Ministries

3

4

1988

Spring

'1
syour heart true to my heart as mine . ? If'1S to yours. . .. tt Journal ofthe Reconciling Congregation P rogram Bui dingReconci IngMinistries The \Nelcome Place: Biblical Hospitality for Lesbians and Gay Men Stephen GMgory Page 3 Profile ofa Reconciling Movement Madr lowman Page 6 Reconciliation in Action ...... 1enIIey Page 9 ChucII: LaIIrIns Page i O Richard Schloner Page ii Sandy'forIc Page i2
Open Hands is published by Affirmation: United Methodists for l esbian/Gay Concerns, Inc., as a resource for the Reconciling Congregation Program. It addresses concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the church.
The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. Together these congregations offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community.
To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Resource persons are available locally to assist a congregation that is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation.
Information about the program can be obtained by writing: Reconciling Congregation Program ~
p.D. Box 24213
Nashville, TN 37202
Reconciling Congregation Program
Coordinators
Mark Bowman Beth Richardson
Open Hands Co-Editors
M. Burrill Bradley Rymph
Art Director
Brenda Roth
Production Artist
Dan Barker
Cover Graphic: Brenda Roth
Contributors to This Issue
Beth Bentley, Donald Bossart,
Sally Daniel, Roger Gilkeson,
Stephen Gregory, Chuck larkins,
Viki Matson, Richard Schlosser,
Deen Thompson, Sandy York.
Open HtlIHIs (formerly lot."". for ,,,. 100000000Y) is published four times a year. Subscription is $12 for four issues ($16 outside the U.S.A.). Single copies are available for $4 each; quantities of 10 or more are $3 each. Permission to reprint is granted upon request. Reprints of certain articles are availabfe as indicated in the issue. Subscriptions and correspondence should be sent to:
0petJ tt.nds
P.O. Box 23636
Washington, DC 20026
Copyright 1988 by Affirmation:
United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc.
ISSN 0888-8833
2 Open Hands
Contents
ThiS spring marks the fourth anniversary of the Reconciling Congregation Program. With this issue of Open Hands, we celebrate the 32 Reconciling Congregations, 4 Reconciling Conferences, and the many More Light (Presbyterian), Open and Affirming (United Church of Christ) and Reconciled-in-Christ (Lutheran) churches who open their doors to welcome lesbians and gay men and all other persons into the family of God.
The issue begins with "The Welcome Place: Biblical Hospitality for Lesbians and Gay Men" (p. 3) by Stephen Gregory, which offers a biblical/theological foundation for ministries with lesbians and gay men. Mark Bowman relates the history of and reflections on the Reconciling Congregation Program in "Profile of a Reconciling Movement" (p. 6).
Several members of Reconciling Congregations tell stories of their congregations' ministries with lesbians and gay men in "Reconciliation in Action" (p. 9). Beth Bentley talks about "Celebrating Gay Pride Day," Chuck Larkins writes on "Approaching the Hierarchy," Richard Schlosser speaks about "AIDS Ministries in the Local Church," and Sandy York tells the story of "Becoming a Reconciling Conference." Two special stories unveil the thoughts of a closeted gay manRoger Gilkeson's "Opening Closet Doors" (p. 14)-and of a pastor-Sally Daniel's "Into the Wilderness" (p. 20)-as their churches became Reconciling Congregations.
We also offer assistance for the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Donald Bossart gives a helpful framework for dealing with "Conflict Resolution in the Local Church" (p. 16). SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT (p. 18) offers suggestions for celebrating a "Season of Reconciliation" in your local church. This is offered by Viki Matson who attends Edgehill UMC, a Reconciling Congregation, in Nashville, Tennessee. RESOURCES (p. 23) lists the many publications developed for Reconciling, More Light, Open and Affirming, and Reconciled-in-Christ congregations, along with worship resources.
In a SPECIAL REPORT we look at the progress of dealing with lesbian/ gay issues in the larger Christian community in "Continuing the Dialogue: MCC and the National Council of Churches" (p. 21) by Bradley Rymph.
By sharing some of what we have learned in these four years, we extend an invitation to other congregations to join this reconciling movement.
NEXT ISSUE'S THEME:
AIDS and the Ministry of the Church
'l3y stephen (jregory
{jod, a Stranger Longing to be wefcomet£
Basic to the biblical understanding of hospitality is that from the beginning Yahweh, the God of the Hebrews, chooses to be a god that prefers the life of the sojourner in the desert. Yahweh's first command to the parents of the Hebrew nation, to Abraham and Sarah, is to leave their home and to journey as strangers to a new land. Both God and God's people from the start are people on the move in need of a resting place and of gracious hospitality.
Genesis 18: 1-15 records the story of three strangers who pass by the tent of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham greets them with the traditional hospitality of the ancient Near East by offering drink, washing their feet, and feeding them their finest food. One of the strangers speaks and announces that barren Sarah will give birth to a son in the spring. The strangers who bear the news are God. By welcoming the strangers, Abraham and Sarah welcome God and discover God's promise.
In the next chapter of Genesis, two angels journey to Sodom. Lot meets them and welcomes them in the same manner as his uncle, Abraham, had welcomed the three strangers earlier. The visitors decide to stay the night. The men of Sodom hear the news and desire to act out their lust and evil on the visitors. Lot goes to any extremes to protect his guests-even offering his daughters to satisfy the lust of the men. Lot, who too is a stranger to Sodom, is threatened. He shuts his guests behind the door. The men of Sodom are struck blind. Then the strangers, messengers from God, tell Lot and his family to escape. The next day Sodom is destroyed.
The way the men of Sodom treat the strangers is a concrete sign of the pervasiveness of that city's wickedness. All reverence for the sojourner is disregarded. If only the Sodomites had been hospitable rather than violent, they could have heard the news of the strangers and, like Lot and his family, might have been spared the tragic outcome. When Sodom is destroyed, its citizens' primary sin is the neglect and abuse of strangers. (See Ezekiel 16:49-50 and Matthew 10:5-15).*
*Editors' note: For a discussion of what this scriptural story says about cultural perceptions of women and sexuality in early biblical times, see "Lot's Daughter's" by Sheila Briggs, Open Hands, Fall 1987.
Open Hands 3
In the New Testament, Jesus continues the presence of God as a sojourner. After Joseph and Mary journey to Bethlehem, he is delivered. Turned away from an inn, Jesus too comes as one ready to be welcomed.
Jesus sees that how one welcomes the stranger and the outcast is how one welcomes him. The act of hospitality and compassion to the stranger is what indicates one's relationship to Jesus and one's ultimate salvation. "Come, 0 blessed of my Father, inherit the realm prepared for you from the foundation of the world, for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me .... Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren [and sisters] you did it to me." (Matthew 25:34-46)
Luke's account of the resurrection appearance of Jesus on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24: 13-35) affirms the power of hospitality. Two apostles are walking along a road talking with a stranger-telling the story of Jesus' death. They are also listening to the stranger's teaching. But when they invite him into their home to share food and when he breaks bread, their eyes are opened! They recognize Jesus in the breaking of the bread.
As Henri Nouwen has said, "Old and New Testament stories not only show how serious our obligation is to welcome the stranger in our home, but they also tell us that guests are carrying precious gifts with them, which they are eager to reveal to a receptive host." I And the writer of Hebrews offers a summary reminder, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Hebrews 13:2)
"Every gay man and every lesbian woman grows up like an orphan and like a stranger. Most grow up knowing they are not accepted by their family and their church. Most are isolated," says the gay Catholic theologian John McNeill.2 If you are lesbian or gay, or if you care for someone who is, you know the stories of such isolation.
A young man from Alabama gets lost in alcohol to cover up his feelings about being gay. More and more, he destroys himself because when he is sober he remembers the hate he feels from people. Finally he gets help, gets sober, meets a few Christian lesbians and gay men, and comes to some peace. But the hatred still eats away at him.
A lesbian couple has been together for years. Their devotion and fidelity to one another witnesses to the power of what Christian intimacy can be. Yet neither has introduced the other to her aging parents. They plan on doing it soon, but the idea of disappointing or even risking isolation has delayed for years the completeness that might come.
Every time the gifted pastor meets with the other members of his Conference Board of Ordained Ministry, his heart breaks. It is not that he doesn't feel called; it's not that he believes he should bailout of the United Methodist Church because of its ordination stance. His heart breaks because he wants some "official" acceptance. He figures it will never come and in a way he will always have to hide.
Peggy Way, a therapist and retired professor of pastoral counseling at Vanderbilt University, has said, "For the straight world and especially the mainline churches, after people of different color, after people of different classes, gays and lesbians will be the last group they will be hospitable to. Gays and lesbians are the strangers."
Like the biblical strangers, many gay men and lesbians just might be "God's angels." Like other people, they carry God's promises-waiting to be given to those who would wel4
Open Hands
come them. The testimonies of many heterosexual persons from Reconciling Congregations and from Christians who have opened themselves to the lives of lesbians and gay men give witness to a deep faith of lesbian/gay persons that has come through struggle, acceptance, grace, and salvation.
god wefcomes the Stranger
God not only comes as the stranger; God also welcomes the stranger. Matthew Fox speaks of God's hospitality to all the persons of the earth:
{Tlhe Creator God is a gracious, an abundant, and a
generous host/hostess. She has spread out for our
delight a banquet that was twenty billion years in the
making . ... God has declared that this banquet is "very
gooa" and so are we, blessings ourselves, invited to the
banquet. 3
When the Hebrew children wander in the desert after escaping Egypt's oppression, God as a gracious host feeds them with manna and quail and gives them water to drink. (Exodus 16, 17)
Though Jesus the wanderer often is a guest himself, he also is the gracious host to all the strangers he encounters. For Jesus, the stranger is the one who suffers the most, who is the lowliest, and who is the outcast of society. Around the table, Jesus repeatedly includes the stranger. He turns the tables on Mary and Martha and on the despised tax collectors, Levi and Zacchaeus, when he chooses to enjoy their hospitality. By his presence, they are hallowed and welcomed. He invites those who labor and are heavy ladened to find rest in him. In Jesus' parables, the rebellious son receives a banquet on his return; the battered traveler is given lodging and personal attention by the Samaritan; the rowdies and street people of his day are welcomed to a banquet. And, at the last supper, he invites his disciples, fishers and outcasts, to partake in his very presence, to gain strength and life from him.
Finally, Jesus points to the great heavenly banquets of the future, where the faithful will gather at his table. Recalling the hospitality of Abraham, Jesus declares, "I tell you, many will come from the east and the west and sit at the table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the realm of heaven." (Matthew
8: 11) Jesus promises his disciples that they will "eat and drink at my table" in heaven. (Luke 22:30)
Among gay men and lesbians, the message "You are welcome here" gets around. Quickly they know the bar, the party, or the restaurant where they are welcome. When Christian congregations, pastors, or laypersons speak those words, they speak for God.
Most lesbians and gay men in our society grow up in a church, but the older they get the more many of them assume the church does not want them. Indeed, denominations' official stands push gay men and lesbians to the outside rather than welcome them to the inside. Gay men and lesbians often are surprised to discover a congregation that welcomes them either by becoming a Reconciling Congregation or simply by unspoken ways that it involves others like them in the full life of the congregation.
One important sign of hospitality to lesbians and gay men-as to all Christians-is the Lord's Supper. At a table through the sharing of food, the stranger turns into friend. Charles Wesley's hymn, "Come, Sinners, to the Gospel Feast," bids everyone come to the Lord's table:
Come, sinners to the gospel feast;
Let every soul be Jesus' guest;
Ye need not one be left behind,
For God hath bidden [hulmankind.
Come all ye souls by sin oppressed,
Ye restless wanderers after rest;
Ye poor, and maimed, and halt, and blind,
In Christ a hearty welcome find.
At Christ's table, gay men and lesbians find a welcome home. They need not come as persons repenting of their sexual orientation. Rather, they are called to repent of the same sins for which the heterosexual must repent-the same lust, greed, gluttony, and injustices-and they long for the same forgiveness and renewal.
This important symbolism of the Lord's table became especially apparent to me the first time I served communion to gay men and lesbians who knew I was gay. They received God's nourishment confident that God welcomes them just as much as any of the heterosexual members of my congregation. And the loving way in which they received the elements from me was, to me, also a sign that I am welcomed by God.
{jod rrransforms the Stranger
Into :J{ostess aruf :J{ost
In the Old Testament, the beloved wandering people of God finally find a welcome place. In time, they receive the promise of the land. But God reminds these chosen people that, because they have once been strangers, they must care for the stranger that comes their way. "You shall not oppress a stranger," says Exodus 23:9; "you know the heart of a stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." After reminding them that God executes justice to the widow and orphan and loves the sojourner, God commands them, "Love the sojourner therefore; for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt." (Deuteronomy 10: 19) And they are called on to leave grain in the fields and grapes in the vineyard after the harvest for the stranger, the widow, and the orphan because, again, they have once been strangers. (Deuteronomy 25:19-22)
The transformation from stranger to host and hostess has a similar impact in the New Testament. In a very real way by Jesus inviting himself to the home of Zacchaeus, Jesus plays host to the despised tax collector. Jesus' welcoming of Zacchaeus transforms him so that he not only opens his home but also gives to the poor and restores fourfold all the funds that he has acquired by cheating.
The transformation is powerfully declared in the letter to
the Ephesians. Paul welcomes the gentile convert, who is the
stranger to the 1 st century church-not just as a welcome
guest but as part of the family: "So then you are no longer
strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens and
members of the household of God, built upon the foundation
of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the
cornerstone." (Ephesians 2: 19,20)
That transformation demands from the follower of Christ
the same response that God demands of the Hebrews.
Because you have been welcomed, welcome others. Paul
writes to the church at Rome, "Welcome one another, therefore,
as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God."
(Romans 15:7)
That same transformation is happening among Christian gay men and lesbians today. For example, a lesbian from Seattle got into Nashville early for a national meeting. She had time to spare and didn't know what to do. So she headed to the local Reconciling Congregation, where she hoped to be welcomed. And she was. But before she had time to sit for a southern-style chat, she was handed a dipper to help dish out food to the community's poor and hungry. She was no longer a stranger. Lesbian, that didn't matter. She was so at home, so loved by God, she turned into host.
The compassion that gay men (as well as many lesbians and heterosexual Christians) are offering to their brothers with AIDS is amazing. Because many Christians, both lesbian/gay and heterosexual, have reached out to gay men suffering with AIDS, some gay men that never felt God's welcome before have been welcomed. Gay men and lesbians, who feel the hospitality of Christ and Christ's church, are reaching out to their brothers. In their hospitality to the suffering, they indeed have discovered "angels unaware."
Gay men and lesbians who have felt and know the hospitality of Christ must make Christ's welcome known to others in acts of compassion, forgiveness, justice, and peace. Their ministry must extend to others that are the strangers in our world-those who are hungry, who seek sanctuary, who work for peace, who are in prison, who are children abused, who suffer from addictions. Mother Teresa reminds us, "Because we cannot see Christ we cannot express love to him; but our neighbors we can always see, and we can do for them, what, if we saw him, we would like to do for Christ." 4
All Christians-lesbian/gay and heterosexual-must speak words of invitation to those gay brothers and lesbian sisters who remain the strangers to come to the welcome places-to those rare and brave congregations-and to the family of those courageous and gentle followers of Jesus.
H OSPitality is at the core of God's message to the world. It
is what Henri Nouwen has identified as "a fundamental attitude
toward our fellow human being." 5 And it is the fundamental
attitude God has toward us. "My lesbian sisters and
gay brothers, my heterosexual sisters and brothers,
welcome!" 0
!1(iferences
I.
Henry J. M. Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life (Garden City, NY.: Doubleday, 1975), p. 47.
2. John McNeill, personal communication.
3.
Matthew Fox, Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality (Santa Fe, N.M.: Bear & Company, 1983), pp. 112, 113.
4. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, A Gift jor God: Prayers and Meditations (New York: Harper & Row, 1975), p. 28.
5. Nouwen, Reaching Out, p. 48.
The following other books are also worthy ofattention:
John McNeill, Taking a Chance on God: Liberation Theology for Gays and Lesbians, Their Lovers, Friends, and Family (Boston: Beacon Press, forthcoming).
Parker J. Palmer, The Company of Strangers: Christians and the Renewal of America's Public Life (New York: Crossroad, 1986). Gerhard von Rad, Genesis: A Commentary (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1961).
Stephen Gregory is a pen name for a United Methodist pastor who is gay and who deLights in weLcoming others. However he doesn't yet feel welcome enough to speak his own name beyond a whisper. Someday . ..
Open Hands 5
PROFILE OF
A RECONCILING MOVEMENT
ay 10, 1984, resides in
Mhistory as a day of ignomy in the United Methodist Church (UMC). On that evening, the General Conference of the denomination enacted, by a vote of 525 to 442, a church law explicitly prohibiting the ordination and appointment of "selfavowed, practicing homosexuals." This action, narrowly interpreted, dealt specifically with the ordination of clergy. However, in a larger sense, it was the culminating victory of church forces seeking to squelch a growing movement affirming lesbian/gay participation within the church. To those viewing the General Conference proceedings through the national media, the message was clear: the UMC is an unwelcome place for lesbians and gay men.
Early the following morning, several persons from Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns gathered outside the doors of the Baltimore Civic Center. As the General Conference delegates and visitors entered the building for morning worship, they were handed leaflets inviting UM local churches to become "Reconciling Congregations"-local churches who publicly welcome all persons into Christian community. Within a few days, two congregations answered the call. Appropriately enough, they were at the ends of the continent-Washington Square UMC in New York City and Wesley UMC in Fresno, California. Within a year, 11 local churches voted
6 Open Hands
By Mark Bowman
to become Reconciling Congregations.
The Reconciling Congregation movement that was born that early morning in Baltimore has grown to include 32 UM congregations and 4 annual conferences throughout the country. Reconciling Congregations are in major urban centers like New York, Chicago, and San Francisco, and they are in small towns like Milpitas, California, and DeKalb, Illinois. They are geographically spread across the country with at least 2 in each of the 5 UMC jurisdictions. They range in size from 500 members to 50 members. Many of them are interracial congregations-Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian. Some Reconciling Congregations have been in ministry with lesbians and gay men in their neighborhood for many years; others were not conscious of their ministry with lesbians and gay men until they began the process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation. About one-half have or have had a woman as pastor.
In those early months, Beth Richardson and I agreed to serve as the co-coordinators of the Reconciling Congregation Program. These past four years have held both unexpected joys and numerous frustrations. I have been awed by the resolute and fa ithful expressions of Christian love received unexpectedly from many laypersons. I have been horrified at the entrenchment of homophobia and prejudice in the institutional church. I have seen miracles at work: at those times when there was no one to do a critical task, no money to move ahead, no prospect of the next Reconciling Congregation, God has moved a person or groups of persons to fill that void. In the face of human doubt, God has gently led and pushed this movement forward. The Reconciling Congregation movement has continued to steadily grow and build momentum over the past four years.
One image that captures for me much of what is happening in the Reconciling Congregation movement is from the Gospel of Matthew. In chapter 9, Jesus is questioned by other religious leaders as to why his disciples do not fast, i.e., do not follow the traditional religious practices. Jesus responds as usual with a question-asking his questioners whether they would patch an old coat with a new, unshrunken piece of cloth, or whether they would pour new wine into old wineskins. Jesus' message is clear-new life doesn't mix with old religious and social forms. God's revelation continues to unfold through history, challenging the community of faith to respond. Responding in faith is to take risks, to be pioneers, to reach out to the everchanging human community with the promise of new life. Here are some ways in which Reconciling Congregations are creating new wineskins as vessels for God's grace.
BUILDERS OF
INCLUSIVE
COMMUNITY.
Reconciling Congregations have taken seriously the call to be in ministry with all persons. I am reminded of this each time I am able to worship with a different Reconciling Congregation. Most Reconciling Congregations are different from typical mainline Protestant congregations, which are generally white, suburban, and middle class. Rec-
Graphics: Tim Achor-Hoch
onciling Congregations, more often than not, reflect the diversity of God's human creation-persons of many colors, nationalities, physical conditions, economic means, sexual orientations. Worshipping with them is a reminder that God doesn't offer redemption only to those persons who meet our social and religious standards of success and acceptibility. Reconciling Congregations are a modern reflection of the delightful, motley band of followers that Jesus attracted.
I've often thought that the community gathered for the national convocation of Reconciling Congregations in March 1987 was a glimpse of the church of the future. Here were 125 persons-Black, White, and other races; female and male; gay and straight; young and old; in different physical and economic conditions-who were joined in community to celebrate their common ministries. Differences between persons were not threats to the community, but instead were gifts to add richness to the community. Certainly this must be what God is calling the church to be.
most of their members to suburban flight. Wesley (Minneapolis), Central (Toledo), Irving Park (Chicago), and Metropolitan-Duane (New York) reformulated their missions during the 1970s to respond to the justice needs of their new communities.
Reconciling Congregations are sometimes referred to disparagingly (and inaccurately) as "gay churches." We remember similar labels being thrown at congregations like these (many times the same congregations) who were in the forefront of the civil rights movement. Reconciling Congregations are engaged in ministries advocating God's justice and liberation for many different groups of persons. (Examples of these ministries are given on p. 13.) Reconciling Congregations are pioneers who have chosen to take seriously the biblical mandate for social justice.
RISK TAKERS.
even when it meant the Cross, so Reconciling Congregations have made the decision to be faithful, rather than popular.
TRAVELERS ON A
SPIRIT-LED
MOVEMENT.
In the early months of the program, Beth and I made great plans for how this reconciling movement would develop. We designed organizational plans and structures. We prepared lists of potential congregations on which to focus our work. We set goals and planned strategies for carrying out those goals. Not surprisingly, this reconciling movement did not simply unfold at our direction. Instead, God's spirit began moving persons through the church. Many friends in AffirmaPIONEERS
IN
BIBLICAL JUSTICE.
Ministry with lesbians and gay men is not an isolated justice concern for most Reconciling Congregations. Most Reconciling Congregations have been in the forefront of earlier movements for social justice. Christ (Washington, D.C.), Edgehill (Nashville), and Sunnyhills (Milpitas, California) trace their roots to the civil rights movement and concerns for racial integration in the late 1950s and early 1960s. Other congregations, like St. Mark's (New Orleans) and University (Madison, Wisconsin), have roots earlier in this century and were active advocates for European immigrants who faced social injustice at that time. Several Reconciling Congregations were formerly large, fashionable, urban churches who lost Local churches have made the decision to become a Reconciling Congregation recognizing the possible negative repercussions of such a move. Some members have threatened to leave if their congregation adopted an open stance to lesbians and gay men. Some congregations have feared the loss of district or conference financial support for their ministries. Some pastors have feared that they may be blackballed or given undesirable appointments in the future. However, becoming a Reconciling Congregation has meant that a congregation has chosen what its members believe to be
God's
calling instead
of the
path
of
least resistance.
I
find
this
to
be
a
vital
sign
of
renewal in the church today. Our church is an institution that is increasingly aligned with the social status quo and in which only "popular" causes are embarked upon. Each of us has had the experience of disillusionment at the failure of the church to take risks for the sake of the Gospel. As Jesus refused continually to take the easy way out, tion and the Methodist Federation for Social Action began organizing and promoting the program in their local communities. Often the Spirit moved in unexpected places, at unexpected times, doing unexpected things. We received inquiries and even news of decisions to become Reconciling Congregations from local churches that were completely unknown to us.
In June of 1986, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that the Northern Illinois Annual Conference had voted to become a Reconciling Conference. I was incredulous. We had never conceived such a notion. How would we deal with a Reconciling Conference? Since that time, three other annual conferences have voted to become Reconciling Conferences.
For many of us, it is a challenge to walk in cadence with the movement of God's Spirit. We sometimes run too far ahead or try to take shortcuts. At these times, we invariably stumble and fall. Each time this happens God takes us by the hand and brings us back in step with our fellow travelers. There we can once again be channels of God's Spirit.
Open Hands 7
SEED PLANTERS.
Most of my phone calls to Reconciling Congregations seem to provoke responses of guilt and the statement, "We've really not done much as a Reconciling Congregation." I've gradu:. ally learned that this response does not indicate lack of action as much as a desire to be doing more. The gift most Reconciling Congregations bring to the larger church is the belief that God's call for justice-seeking ministries is a primary mission of the church. The utter seriousness with which a congregation adopts that stance can lead to a sense of failure if that congregation doesn't establish God's reign on earthby tomorrow. However, these phone conversations inevitably lead to the discovery of many seemingly small actions that reflect the congregation's mission as a Reconciling Congregation. A Reconciling Congregation is planting seeds, not constructing a forest.
Reconciling Congregations make public their openness to lesbians and gay men in their Sunday morning bulletins and their newsletters, on the walls of their church buildings, on signs outside their churches and in their advertisements. Reconciling Congregations also offer hospitality to many organizations serving lesbian/gay constituencies. Gay men's choruses, congregations of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, lesbian/ gay synagogues, local Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays groups, gay/lesbian resource centers, and AIDS projects, to name a few, all find a home in Reconciling Congregations.
Reconciling Congregations have also planted many seeds in the larger church. The Church in Ocean Park (Santa Monica, California) related its ministries with lesbians and gay men to its bishop who was speaking at its 75th anniversary celebration. Central (Toledo) informed its district superintendent that its new pastor should be open to being in ministry with lesbians and gay men. Dumbarton (Washington, D.C.) has entered into discussions with
8 Open Hands
a UM seminary over an intern's preparedness for being in ministry with lesbians and gay men. Washington Square (New York), Wallingford (Seattle), and St. Paul's (Denver) have provided most of the direction and leadership for their annual conference's education and ministry to persons with AIDS. Calvary (Philadelphia) and Wesley (Minneapolis) were featured as models of ministry in the largest newspaper circulated to United Methodists. (However, the newspaper minimized mention of the congregation's ministry to the lesbian/gay community.) The Reconciling Congregations in Seattle and the Bay Area have each formed regional task forces to nurture and develop current and new Reconciling Congregations.
These are only a few of the seeds planted by Reconciling Congregations over the past four years. Together with the seeds that will be planted in coming years, they will grow, in time, into gardens and forests. As such, they provide sustenance and support for future Reconciling Congregations and a vision of new possibilities for the larger church.
WHERE WE ARE.
The first four years of the Reconciling Congregation movement are overflowing with stories of the wondrous display of God's grace. This movement has had a profound impact on the larger church and will continue to do so in the future. The movement already has brought at least three important gifts to the larger church in dealing with lesbian/gay concerns and other issues of reconciliation.
To the United Methodist Church, which has been primarily concerned with denominational policy towards lesbians and gay men, Reconciling Congregations ask a different question. Instead of "Should we ordain lesbians and gay men?" or "What do we believe about homosexuality?," Reconciling Congregations ask "Can we exclude anyone from our local church's ministries?" In actuality, this is not a new question but instead a reframing of the concern which points to a concern prior to denominational policy and law. The UMC's connectional structure and laws exist to empower local church ministries. The homophobic policies the denomination has adopted have hindered local church ministries. Many lesbians and gay men have left local churches and continue to do so. Reconciling Congregations are reminding the church ofits primary mission and calling on it to move from a policy of exclusion to a ministry of openness.
The second gift, related to the first one, is that the Reconciling Congregation movement moves lesbians and gay men from being an "issue" to being persons. It is too often the case that oppressed persons are treated as a category or an abstract concern, and not as real, live persons. This is the luxury of persons in power-to conceptually struggle with ideas while ignoring persons in need. The primary concern of lesbians and gay men is not "What does the Bible or the church say about homosexuality?" The concerns of lesbians and gay men are: Is this a community which can address my spiritual needs? Is this a community where I can offer my God-given gifts? Is this a community that can celebrate my joys and grieve with my losses?
Finally, the Reconciling Congregation movement offers local churches a focus for discussion and dialogue on lesbian/gay concerns. Many local churches have conducted study sessions and forums on human sexuality, including homosexuality. These learning opportunities are important for overcoming ignorance and stimulating persons' growth. Study, however, cannot be an end in itself. Christian faith is manifest in action. The process of becoming a Reconciling Congregation takes the discussion from the theoretical level and brings it home. It places lesbian/ gay concerns within the context of the congregation's activity-its ministries.
I do not know what God holds in store for the Reconciling Congregation movement in the next four years. I am convinced that this inclusive movement of pioneers, risk takers, and seed planters will continue to be led by God's Spirit. Together, we will make a difference in formulating the church's ministries. 0
M ark Bowman is a co-coordinator of the ReconciLing Congregation Program and member of Christ UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Washington, D.C.
RECONCILIATION IN Ac T ION
Engaging in ministries with lesbians and gay men may mean entering an unknown territory for a congregation, Anticipation of such ministries may induce d iscomfort and fears on the part of many members of a congregation, However, as the following stories portray, Reconciling Congregations and other local churches have taken this step, Their experience has not onIy been satisfying as a fulfillment of Biblical hospitality, but also has been enriching for their community life, The following stories demonstrate reconciliation in action in a local church, We recognize that reconciling ministries with lesbians and gay men are only a part of what it means to be a Reconciling Congregation, A Reconciling Congregation br ings God's message of liberation, hospitality, and reconci I iation to all persons, This is, in fact, the reality in Reconc iling Congregations today, The box below lists a sampling of the ministries of current Reconciling Congregations, What we see emerging is a whole tapestry of reconciling ministries, addressing local and global needs along the whole spectrum of God's human creation,
Ce ebrating Goy Pride Day
By Beth Bentley
ince declaring ourselves a
SReconciling Congregation, the Park Slope United Methodist Church in Brooklyn has celebrated Gay Pride Day twice as a congregation. By participating in these activities, we experienced firsthand what reconciliation means.
In 1986, we marched in the New York City Gay Pride Parade carrying a banner that read "Park Slope United Methodist Church: Gay and Straight Reconciled by Faith in a Loving God." We had heard there would be counterdemonstrators at St. Patrick's Cathedral who were religious people. As we passed the counterdemonstrators, we hoisted our banner higher and hoped its message would challenge them to reexamine their beliefs. Although their opposition to homosexuality was based on their interpretation of the Bible, ironically all but two of their signs bore secular slogans. Of the two religious signs, one misquoted John 3: 16 saying "God sent Jesus to punish sinners," and the other carried a positive message from a children's song "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so."
Frequently as we marched, spectators would clap or cheer us on when they saw our banner. One from our group would go over to them to find out why. Their responses varied. Some were from our neighborhood, some liked our message, and some were actually United Methodists.
One United Methodist spectator decided to join in and march with us. He was a former minister who had left the ministry after coming out of the closet. When he realized that most of our group consisted of nongay/lesbian people, he commented, "You marched all this way and you didn't even have to!" The unnecessary loss of this person's service as a minister because of the homophobia of the United Methodist denomination was just one example of the many reasons we "had
to" march.
In 1987, one church member, a festival organizer, invited us to work at a table at the Gay Pride Festival in our neighborhood. In my fairly short career as an activist, I had always found "tabling" to be an experience to be endured for the good of " the cause" (and I had endured it through rain, cold, heat, and unreceptive neighborhoods in the past!). I tried to draft enough other people to staff the table so I wouldn't have to, but unfortunately, I was stuck doing my shift as well. My apparent misfortune turned out to be a blessing. While I passed out church brochures and talked with the few people who stopped by our table, I was also able to hear a variety of musical groups, take turns visiting other tables, buy delicious food, get a shoulder massage (I'll table anytime for that), admire the fabulous decorations, feel the positive energy flowing in the room, and actually enjoy the experience.
At both the parade and the festival, most of the representatives from our church have been nonlesbianl gay. Several of the nongay/lesbian participants have observed that taking part in such events enabled them to better see their own homophobia. In spite of their rational beliefs about homosexuality, they found themselves worrying that someone would see them and think they were lesbianIgay (God
Open Hands 9
RECONCILIATION IN Ac TION
forbid!). Some felt uncomfortable suddenly being in the minority (even though no one was harassing them for being a minority) or wondered why they felt the urge to make it clear to strangers that they were not gay/ lesbian (as they had with the man we befriended at the march). Those who have not participated in these events because of such worries are nudged and challenged by the example of those who have.
Our participation in Gay Pride Day events continues to serve an important role in the process of learning what it means individually and as
Approach i ng
The Hierarchy
By Chuck Larkins
here always is some trepidaTtion
involved when we decide to approach our denominational hierarchy. The situation was no different when Central United Methodist Church in Toledo, Ohio, decided to help organize a statewide conference on the Reconciling Congregation Program. We certainly wanted to let the United Methodist leaders of the West Ohio Conference know what we were up to, but we were a little nervous as to what to expect in response.
The Toledo district superintendent (OS), Vance Summers, had always been aware of Central's mission and outreach to the gay and lesbian community. However, he had not become familiar with the Reconciling Congregation movement specifically. Therefore, some of us at Central thought it would be a good idea to meet with him, explain the program, and inform him that in February of this year we were planning a little "heresy" by organizing the conference. We also wanted him to inform the bishop of the West Ohio Conference, Edsel A. Ammons, of what we were up to. We had no intention of "bushwacking the bishop"-we wanted him to know what was going on.
10 Open Hands
After several calls to the District office-all district superintendents seem to be the busiest people around-a luncheon appointment was scheduled. Central's pastor, Kevin Chambers (appointed the previous June fresh out of seminary); Kevin's father, Chester Chambers, metropolitan coordinator of the Toledo District office; Reva Anderson, Central's chair of Outreach (and on the RC advisory committee); and myself (lay member of the annual conference) met with the OS to make our pitch.
In anticipation of the meeting, we had prepared a packet of information concerning the RC program, including an issue of Open Hands. Since both our OS and the bishop are black, we felt that the best issue to include was the "Minorities within a Minority" issue. We prepared a packet for each of them.
After some general conversation and presentation of the materials, we began to discuss the RC program and what we might like to accomplish within the West Ohio Conference. At that point, Vance stopped to caution us on what the Discipline said about expending money on programs to "promote" homosexuality. As with many church leaders, he was under the impression that that prohibition meant conference or district money could not be spent. We rapidly corrected that misconception, and his a congregation to be "reconciled by faith in a loving God." 0
Beth Bentley is Lay Leader and chair of the SociaL Action Committee at Park SLope UMC, a ReconciLing Congregation in BrookLyn, NY. She is married and empLoyed by New York Housing.
response was, "Well, maybe I had better read what the Discipline actually says if that's the case."
Vance listened carefully, asking questions where he felt he needed clarification. He said he thought that Central's mission was important and that the church needed to be inclusive of all people. He promised to forward our packet of information to Bishop Ammons and to inform him of our upcoming meeting. We asked him what he thought and he smiled and said, "Central has to do what is important to advance Central's mission. Just as I have to be district superintendent for the entire district, and Bishop Ammons has to be bishop of all Methodists in the Conference. We all have our missions. I think your meeting is important, and I hope it's a success."
Not a bad response for all the concern that was felt before the meeting. And while the response was very diplomatic, we were also pleased that his comments were positive.
Oh, and did I forget to mention that he picked up the lunch check? Maybe that's the best indication of how he felt! 0
Chuck Larkins is a Lay member of the AnnuaL Conference from CentraL UMC, a ReconciLing Congregation in ToLedo, OH. He is Supervisor of ELections for Lucas County,OH.
RECONCILIATION IN ACTION
A DS Ministries In
The Loco Church
By Richard Schlosser
Albany United Methodist Church is in a community nestled in a corner of Berkeley up against the San Francisco Bay. We have not always been active in social issues. Like many churches, Albany has fluctuated over the years from conservatism to mild liberalism depending on the leadership of the pastor and laity at the time. Increasingly, however, we have come to see the need to establish our own identity and priorities as a congregation. In a few years, we have grown to the place where we have an active peace and justice committee; regularly hold classes, discussions, public forums, potlucks, and programs on a variety of justice issues; have become a Reconciling Congregation; and maintain our feeling of "family." We deeply care about and for one another, even when we disagree. Our congregation has become increasingly influential in our conference and area regarding AIDS ministries due primarily to the leadership and activism of our pastor, the Reverend Virginia Hilton, and many of the members of our church and its staff, who have made these ministries priorities. We have been able to respond to the AIDS crisis in ways that we feel may be very helpful to other "smaller" churches that do not have the resources to open a hospice or a counseling center or other ministries that get the most pUblicity. We have developed a two-pronged approach that includes (1) a carefully selected limited number of one-time projects and events for our own local church and (2) encouraging "family" members to offer their talents and time to community and interfaith organizations that are carrying out AIDS ministries in ways we never could by ourselves. The response to both aspects of our approach has been more than we ever could have hoped for. Here's some of what we have done in these two areas.
Our first involvement in AIDS ministry came when California faced the Lyndon LaRouche-sponsored Proposition 64, which called for largescale AIDS testing and quarantining of those testing positive with the HIV virus. We were instrumental in encouraging our Conference Council on Ministries to establish a task force to work for the defeat of Proposition 64, the first time such a task force had ever been created. The task force was envisioned and chaired by an Albany UMC member, and half the task force was made up of Albany members.
In addition, we sponsored several events to educate our members and community about AIDS: what it is, how it is contracted, how best to deal with the spread of the virus, and the ethical and civil rights issues involved. The culmination was a community "public forum."
Our church made four quilt squares for the Names Project quiltthe huge quilt made in memory of those who have died of AIDS. Our squares were made by 17 members of the congregation, including some members no one ever believed would give up a Saturday for such a cause. The organizers said we were one of very few mainline churches who participated.
Albany UMC sent five people, including our pastor and her spotise, Dr. Bruce Hilton, who led two of the workshops, to the National AIDS Consultation in Millbrae, California. That consultation was sponsored by the United Methodist Church and held in the fall of 1987. Following up on the consultation, we continue to work closely with the California-Nevada Annual Conference AIDS Working Group to facilitate and empower AIDS ministries in the churches of our conference.
We are active in the AIDS Interfaith Network of the East Bay and regularly participate in its activities and provide leadership for their healing services. And we regularly deal with AIDS and related issues in our classes and worship services, including regular prayer for, by, and with people who are affected by the AIDS crisis. We believe this crisis affects all of us regardless of whether or not we carry the virus.
By far, most of our AIDS ministries are carried out by individuals with the blessing of the congregation. Our pastor has given time and energy to more AIDS ministries than there is room to list. In addition to providing the nurturing leadership that allows us to discover our own AIDS ministries in the local church and community, she has planned and led healing services. Bruce Hilton has participated in the World Council of Churches World Consultation on AIDS in Geneva, led workshops on AIDS and homophobia around the conference and country, written columns on AIDS, and taught classes in our church. A number of other members have received training in AIDS ministries; worked with local, state, and national groups; volunteered in counseling, hospice, and hospital ministries; supported each other; provided home health care visits; taught,
Open Hands 11
R ECO N CI LIATION IN Ac T IO N
written, and campaigned for civil rights and justice for persons with AIDS, their families, and their lovers.
The AIDS ministries in which our church family engages go far beyond what one would expect from a church with our limited numbers and finances. But we are discovering ways to carryon AIDS ministries that work for us. The greatest ministry our congregation has is our caring acceptance for each person who comes through our doors regardless of politics or sexual orientation or any of the "isms" so often used to marginalize children of God. We believe that we have been blessed. We strive to live up to our call. D
R ichard Schlosser is a clergy member of the West Ohio Conference presently residing in the San Francisco Bay area, where he is a housespouse and takes care of 1 year old Elizabeth. In his spare time he serves as Minister of Music for Albany UMC
Becoming a
Reconci ing Conference
By Sandy York
During a break in the United Methodist Consultation on AIDS Ministries in November 1987, a stranger asked me how I was chosen to be a participant in this particular consultation. I told him my official role in the California-Nevada Annual Conference as chair of the Conference Council on Ministries (CCOM) Reconciling Conference Committee had won me that honor. He responded, "What is a Reconciling Conference?" After a short explanation, his next questions were even more challenging: "How did this happen? Does this mean that all the churches in your conference are Reconciling Churches?" "Unfortunately not. But we are working on it." I replied. This brief episode gave me pause to realize that becoming a Reconciling Conference is not easy; it did not happen overnight. The journey began many years ago when a member of our conference was being overlooked for a major leadership role solely because she was an "out" lesbian. This was the first indication for many that our conference was not inclusive and angered those who felt that this reality was not in line with the teach12
Open Hands
ings of Jesus. The Conference Nominating Committee was flooded with responses, and ultimately the woman was nominated to the position and served superbly, as we had all expected!
At the following Annual Conference session, the Conference Commission on the Status and Role of Women and the Executive Committee of the Conference United Methodist Women presented a joint resolution asking for a Task Force on Homophobia. This task force was assigned to develop a three year plan to study homophobia and conduct model workshops in each district with the hope that those attending would then study the issues in their own local churches.
In 1983, the task force worked on passage of a resolution recommending legislation that would include lesbians and gay men at every level in the life of the church. This resolution passed, which laid the groundwork for the Reconciling Conference idea. The climax of the work of the Task Force was to recommend to the Annual Conference session in 1983 that the task force be dissolved and that there be a duly authorized Committee on Homophobia within the scope of the Council on Ministries. This committee would continue working on monitoring homophobia and educating the conference on related issues.
With this encouragement, and the hope that finally all persons were considered important in all of church life-and that indeed our conference was serious about becoming an inclusive conference-many lesbians and gay men within our conference bounds "came out." Affirmation groups have evolved, and a number of local churches began studying how to become Reconciling Congregations. We now have seven Reconciling Congregations within our conference, and several other local churches are studying the process.
A great deal of pain and heartache has gone into the struggle to make this conference totally inclusive. Generous portions of "see it through" attitude have been necessary. The committee established consultations on homophobia for ministry staff and for executive committees of all the conference boards and agencies with suggestions that follow-up sessions be conducted within the boards, agencies, and districts.
The most recent step was to work with Bethany United Methodist Church, a Reconciling Congregation in San Francisco. At the 1987 session of the California-Nevada Annual Conference, together we sponsored legislation making our conference a Reconciling Conference and encouraging all local churches to study the possibility of becoming Reconciling Congregations.
The CCOM Committee on HomoRECONCILIATI
ON IN Ac T ION
phobia lobbied for action by wntmg to "friends" and encouraging their support for this legislation. We sent representatives to the pre-Annual Conference meetings of the districts and of the Methodist Federation for Social Action. We were striving to increase understanding of Jesus' teachings that we are to be good neighbors to all persons regardless of their identity.
The resolution passed and, on the recommendation of the Conference Council on Ministries, the Committee on Homophobia became the CCOM Reconciling Conference Committee.
As one member of our committee put it: "When I think about the meaning of a Reconciling Conference, I think of a mother and her love for all her children, and how she embraces them all." (Lupita Diaz) She went on to say, " ... however, I feel that this love has a deeper base.... 1 think God ... sent Jesus ... for us to see what love really is all about. . .. Love is sacrifice, acceptance, and joy, and to me that is the base of a Reconciling Conference. "
We continue to hope that this conference will truly be totally inclusive and will live up to the meaning of its designation as a Reconciling Conference. Recently a lesbian was elected to the Conference Council on Ministries. These beginning steps let the world out there know that we mean what we say-we affirm the full participation of all persons regardless of sexual identity in the life of their congregation and in the life of this annual conference! 0
Sandy York, from San Jose, CA, is former chair of the Reconciling Conference Committee and currently vice-chair of the Board of Church and Society in the California/Nevada Annual Conference.
Reconciling Conferences
California-Nevada
New York
Northern Illinois
Troy (eastern New York state and Vermont)
Representative Ministries of
Reconci I ing Congregations
Community food pantry Providing clothing for women's Senior citizens, housing project shelter Drop-in center for street people Sponsoring refugee families Gay/lesbian youth group Unemployment action center Movement for justice in South Involvement in peace movement
Africa Central American organizing
Sanctuary Congregation project
Neighborhood children's Providing space for a variety of
programs before/after school groups including: Affirmation, Ministry with persons living with Metropolitan Community
AIDS and their families Church, Divorced Ministry with chronically mentally ill Anonymous, Women's Chorus, Involvement in farmworkers' issues AA, English as a Second Support for and cooperation Language Classes, Gay /
with Black, Hispanic, and/or Lesbian Community Center, Korean congregations Ministry of Criminal Justice, etc.
University UMC The Church in Ocean Park
Reconciling
c/o Steven Webster c/o Judy Abdo 1127 University Avenue 235 Hill Street
Congregations
Madison. WI 53715 Santa Monica. CA 90405
Metropolitan-Duane UMC Wesley UMC Wesley UMC c/o Takayuki Ishii c/o Tim Tennant-Jayne c/o Patty Orlando 201 W. 13th Street Marquette at Grant Streets 1343 E. Barstow Avenue New York. NY 10011 Minneapolis. MN 55403 Fresno. CA 93710
Washington Square UMC University UMC Bethany UMC c/o Marty Morrison c/o Dave Schmidt c/o Rick Grube 135 W. 4th Street 633 W. Locust 1268 Sanchez Street New York. NY 10012 DeKalb.IL 60115 San Francisco. CA 94114
Park Slope UMC Wheadon UMC CalvaryUMC c/o Beth Bentley c/o Carol Larson c/o Jerry Brown 6th Avenue & 8th Street 2212 Ridge Avenue 1400 Judah Street Brooklyn. NY 11215 Evanston. IL 60201 San Francisco. CA 94122
Calvary UMC Albany Park UMC TrinltyUMC c/o Chip Coffman c/o Ted Luis. Sr. c/o Arron Auger 815 S. 48th Street 3100 W. Wilson Avenue 152 Church Street Philadelphia. PA 19143 Chicago. IL 60625 San Francisco. CA 94122
Dumbarton UMC Irving Park UMC TrinltyUMC c/o Ann Thompson Cook c/o David Foster c/o Elli Norris 3133 Dumbarton Avenue. NW 3801 N. Keeler Avenue 2320 Dana Street Washington. DC 20007 Chicago. IL 60641 Berkeley. CA 94704
ChristUMC KairosUMC Albany UMC c/o Kay Moore c/o Richard Vogel c/o Jim Scurlock 4th and I Streets. SW 6015 McGee 980 Stannage Washington. DC 20024 Kansas City. MO 64113 Albany. CA 94706
St. John's UMC St. Mark's UMC Sunnyhills UMC c/o Howard Nash c/o David Schwarz c/o Cliveden Chew Haas 2705 St. Paul Street 1130 N. Rampart Street 335 Dixon Road Baltimore. MD 21218 New Orleans. LA 70116 Milpitas. CA 95035
Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC St. Paul's UMC St. Paul's UMC c/o Sally Daniel c/o George Christie c/o Dianne L. Grimard 575 Boulevard. SE 1615 Ogden Street 101 West Street Atlanta. GA 30312 Denver. CO 80218 Vacaville. CA 95688
Edgehlll UMC United University Church Wallingford UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman c/o Edgar Welty c/o Margarita Will 1502 Edgehill Avenue 817 W. 34th Street 2115 N. 42nd Street Nashville. TN 37212 Los Angeles. CA 90007 Seattle. WA 98103
Central UMC Crescent Heights UMC Capitol Hili UMC c/o Chuck Larkins c/o Walter Schlosser c/o Mary Dougherty 701 W. Central at Scottwood 1296 N. Fairfax Avenue 128 Sixteenth Street Toledo. OH 43610 W. Hollywood. CA 90046 Seattle. WA 98112
Open Hands 13
am writing this the day after we at Dumbarton
[
United Methodist Church celebrated our first anniversary as a Reconciling Congregation. Some time ago, I was asked to write about my feelings as a closeted gay person who belonged to a church that had become an RC. I balked at the idea for several reasons: writing is hard work; my thoughts about being gay are still in a jumble; and my energy level has been generally low this year as I struggle through a mid-life
cnSlS.
But as I think about this year and a half, I do feel inspired to share some thoughts about the Reconciling Congregation Program as it has affected me, especially on the first anniversary of our vote to become an RC.
I first heard the term "Reconciling Congregation" in church one Sunday morning. As I learned what this process was going to be like, I was both frightened and excited. I was frightened by the possibility that I might somehow feel compelled to come out of the closet and thereby hang a gay label (albatross!) around my neck. But I also felt surprised and energized by the idea that a number of nongay/lesbian people in my church cared enough about gay/lesbian people that they wanted to work towards freedom and justice for us, even if the journey would be a rocky road for some.
I was certainly not "out" in a publicly open way in my church. In fact, our congregation had no openly lesbian/ gay members. Generally, as I got older, however, I had become less paranoid about revealing my sexual identity. During the past 15 years, I had come out to my parents, whose acceptance was intelligent and warm; to my minister, Tom Brunkow, who was wonderfully compassionate; and to assorted co-workers, coparishioners, and other nongay/lesbian friends. But the idea of being known only as a "gay person" repelled me. While I didn't want to lie about my sexual identity, I feared being prematurely and permanently lumped into a group, especially one that had so many negative connotations.
So at first I just waited to see what would happen. The church had initially attracted me because it had a young intellectual minister with whom I could identify and a reputation for energetic concern about social justice. Now I watched silently as the church took on what proved to be one of the most controversial and emotional of its projects.
During coffee hour after church one Sunday (early in the RC process), when the sermon had been given by a lay mem14
Open Hands
ber of the congregation who linked the struggle of lesbians and gay men to that of blacks, for civil rights, I found myself opening up to one of the leaders of the committee working on the RC issue. After this conversation, I began to feel called to contribute, even if indirectly and somewhat secretly, to the mission of the program. I had come to believe by this time that the issue was a civil rights issue, among many other things. Also I was persuaded that the RC Program was important for the children in our church: some of them might be gay/lesbian and might otherwise grow up with negative feelings about gayness (as I had), unless they were part of an RC church that offered understanding and positive role models. I was sure such a church would have been helpful to me as I struggled as a child with my secret-later opening up only to other gay/lesbian people and psychotherapists.
During my years at Dumbarton, my main contribution had been through music-playing the piano for the service once a month. This was a special joy for me, since it provided a chance to share with others music I loved, as well as some complex part of my personality that could never be expressed in words. In some ways, expressing myself musically was safe-a way to be known emotionally and intellectually without the danger of words. But now that this RC issue was at hand, I began to realize I could also open up to other people in words.
I spoke quietly, privately, at first-with members of the Reconciling Congregation committee whom I knew to be sympathetic.
Somewhat later, in an adult Sunday school class, I came out to some others. After we had watched a film ["On Being
Gay," by Brian McNaught] that dealt with the pain nearly all lesbian/ gay people go through as they realize they are outsiders, I commented that the emotion McNaught talked about rang true for me-hesitantly, but consciously, revealing to those that were listening that I was one of those people. It was a first step towards being known. (And the sky had not fallen on my head!)
Another step towards telling my congregation of my sympathies with the RC program without proclaiming my gayness from the rooftop was telling children's stories (part of our regular worship service). In one-Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer-my point in the story was to remind everyone that simply because Rudolph was different, "all of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names." This was a plight at least some of the adults in the congregation would know to be sadly true of adolescents for whom "queer" and "faggot" have become more common than the ugly racial epithets of yesterday.
Another regular element in our service is a time for sharing joys and concern. During one of these periods, I spoke to ask for prayers for a friend, Sam, who was suffering from AIDS. Visiting this man in the hospital over a six-week period was a deeply moving time for me. It was a coincidence that my involvement with an AIDS patient was occurring during our church's struggle with the RC issue, but it profoundly strengthened my commitment to the program. Bringing to the congregation the life/death struggle of a gay man made an issue that had been abstract, now personal, touching, moving. My own hesitancy about being more open in our church seemed trivial in this context. People who were still unsure about how they felt about the RC program came to me expressing warmth and empathetic concern about my friend.
People are mainly good, I decided. When they embrace narrow and prejudiced positions, maybe it's because they are confused by past teachings and limited perspectives, their own fears, and too many abstractions. Sam was not an "issue"; he was Roger's friend, a desperately sick person, whose death later that spring would be felt by our church almost as if he had been one of our own.
During my visits with Sam, my feelings about the RC program became more intense. I reasoned that many AIDS patients were men who had never been able to come out to their families and friends-and certainly not to their churches. Their self-esteem had been undermined from their earliest sexual awakening by society and churches that don't understand the origins of homosexuality, and therefore fear and shun gay men and lesbians. The consequences of this kind of environment had luckily been relatively mild for me; for Sam and so many others, this environment had contributed to tragedy.
As the time for the congregation's vote on becoming an RC came closer, I knew some still felt uncomfortable about the issue. Homosexuality seemed wrong to them. I wanted to listen to them, to tell them that I felt the same way much of the time, because that's the message society had given us out of superstition and fear. I didn't talk to them: I still feared their rejection.
But I did tell another children's story. I brought stick-on name tags and magic markers. The children and I wrote our names and stuck them on our clothes. "This," I said, "is the reason for labels-so we can learn each other's names." And then I wrote the word 'stupid' on a blank label and stuck it over my name tag. "Sometimes I feel stupid and I stick this label over my name. See how hard it is to get it off?" I tried to separate the two labels. "That's what happens when we label ourselves and other people with words other than their names. We coverup the names with words like 'fat' or 'homeless' or 'enemy' or even 'little kid'. Yes, if I don't know your name, I just think of you as a little kid. And if you don't know my name, you think of me as that man with a beard."
These stories were really stories I was telling myself as well as the children and the congregation. I wanted to be accepted for myself.
So now it's a year later. The vote a year ago had been unanimous in favor of joining the Reconciling Congregation Program.
I wish I could say that I exuberantly jumped in to further the cause. I didn't. Having come part of the way out of the closet, I now was ready to go back in for a while. And 1987 had some losses that depressed me: Tom, our minister, left to be pastor at another church; and two friends, including Sam, died of AIDS. I felt lethargic about my work; it seemed time for a change, but I lacked the energy. I was generally tired.
But yesterday's celebratory service was a wonderful boost. I had approached this day nervously. I was again to give the children's story and had agonized over it all week.
In the story I finally decided to tell, I began by talking about left-handedness as a minority trait that had been thought of as "wrong" and needing to be changed. Then I told of the time when I was a little boy and broke my right wristforcing me to be left-handed for a while. This accident had its benefits, I had thought: "I won't have to practice the piano." But I was wrong. My teacher insisted that I use the time to work on my left hand-to strengthen it. This involved learning pieces for the left hand alone, and I gained not only increased strength, but an appreciation for the melodies often covered up when we listen to the more prominent melodies in the right hand. Then I illustrated the story with part of a piano piece. The children gathered around the piano as I played the right hand alone, then the left hand alone. "Now listen to the magic when we put them both together!" I said. I myself felt moved as the world of music showed the magic of harmony when the right hand and the left get it together-each note, like each person-important, beautiful.
Making God's music together, I thought, is what reconciliation is all about: left-handed people and right-handed people, rich and poor, young and old, men and women, black and white, gay/lesbian and nongay/lesbian-joining together as a loving family. How fortunate I feel to be part of a church that reaches out to welcome the stranger. My fears of rejection were groundless. My secret is out, and as someone once said, the only thing I had to lose was my chains.
That afternoon I attended a concert. Suddenly I was aware of a mysterious and warm glow. It was not simply the beauty of the music I was hearing: it also felt like a strange intimation of wholeness in myself. 0
Roger Gilkeson, 44. is an editor at the National Institutes of Health and lives in Washington, D.C.
Open Hands 15
Conf ct Re 0 ution n The Loco Church
C By Donald E. Bossart
onflict is an inevitable component of our
personal and organizational lives. Wherever there are values, needs, wants, goals, and plans, there is conflict. The church is no different from other organizations in this respect.
Yet we Christians often seem to think that conflict in our churches is wrong and avoidable. In a sense, this is understandable. We believe that we have received unconditional love from the Creator and have been mandated to extend that love to others. It might be expected that this knowledge would give us the sense of acceptance that is necessary for education and change.
This is not necessarily so. In fact, the church is one place where conflict might most be expected. As the firmness of belief systems and expressions on matters of faith increases, the likelihood of conflict also increases. Thus, for church members the question is not whether there will be conflict. Rather, the appropriate questions are what kind of conflict will there be, and how will it be handled?
Conflict within a church or any other organization can be either destructive or constructive. A central characteristic of much destructive conflict is that it is goal-less, focusing on individual persons rather than the actual subject at hand. When this destructive tendency is coupled with an inclination to pit persons or groups against each other in a "win/lose" contest for higher righteousness or power, an organization-splitting potential results. As participants in a controversy, we can find ourselves more concerned about proving ourselves right than hearing another's perspective in mutual concern for learning and growth. We can fear that the very survival of our sense of worth depends on our being right and winning in an exchange of opinions.
Destructive conflict is not always expressed with forceful voice. It can also be expressed in congregations in "silent" ways. Attendance at worship can drop gradually; church income can do the same. Communication can become minimal in official church gatherings over major issues, but be strong in small informal groups or over the telephone. Leadership positions can become hard to fill.
Opinions, when voiced, can become polarized between segments of the congregation. Communication can be limited and positions hardened, with listening a forgotten art. Such congregational dissension is common today around the issue of the place of gays and lesbians in the church.
Fortunately, conflict need not be so destructive. Properly approached, conflict can be productive and promote personal and group growth. Indeed, conflict can actually become a bond that unifies persons, leading to new norms rather than a polarization between persons or groups.
In constructive efforts to grow from conflict, church members should always keep in mind their mutual goals in the midst of disagreement. For United Methodists experiencing conflict around lesbian and gay issues, the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church express a common goal before us:
Homosexual persons no less than heterosexual persons are individuals of sacred worth who need the ministry and guidance of the church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship which enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self.
This statement affirms our theological unity in the proposition that God is the creator of us all. It helps us to center our commitment on the oneness of all persons under God and to remember that we are all equal recipients of God's grace.
This affirmation must constantly be raised as the central unity in whatever the task in the church. It is central to resolving any conflict in the church, setting the climate for working together. It is in this caring climate that persons can best begin to address the personal fears and ambivalence that are at the heart of a conflict. This can especially be the case with a conflict so sensitive as dealing with our sexuality. The fear of homosexuality (homophobia), in particular, can be so strong and subconscious that it cannot be ameliorated without considerable care and support.
16 Open Hands
As church members attempt to address conflict, we should be aware of the natural but unnecessary tendency toward the win/lose approach to a problem. There simply need not be a winner and a loser to each encounter. Instead, it is possible to resolve conflict through a "win/ win" approach. If we affirm our oneness under God, this approach should follow naturally. We are linked by a spiritual commonality in the Christian community that is basic for constructive conflict resolution. Therefore, when goals are held in common, creative growth possibilities exist for all through the conflict.
Fear tends to polarize. Pressuring with any particular point of view on social issues does not create an environment for openness or listening, let alone understanding or reconciliation. The causes of conflict are usually deep-seated in our personal perceptions coming from our life experiences, our lack of good communication skills, and our natural tendency toward fulfilling our power needs in the competition of a conflict. This latter need arises out of our continuing failure to "accept the fact that we are accepted" (in the words of Paul Tillich) and our corresponding battle to win our acceptance from others. A strongly supportive atmosphere is necessary to allow for a stretching of the horizons of each person involved in a controversy.
The breaking of stereotypes and preconceptions is a difficult first step toward opening up the mind and heart on any controversial issue. For instance, the controversy over the gay and lesbian place in church and society often hinges on the preconception that homosexuality is a "choice," contrary to God's will. This position has to be dealt with before much helpful discussion can follow. The hope is that all persons involved in a conflict find an opening for growth and change and are secure in the process rather than that the opposition finally capitulates to a "superior" position.
Once a positive and secure climate is established,
education becomes possible. Education and change only
occur in an accepting climate. However, we must understand
that the lesbian and gay issue is not merely a rational
confrontation, but rather a highly emotional one. Both aspects must be addressed. A felt equilibrium of power and acceptance must be maintained for all to protect their personal integrity and worth along with the continuing sense of unity of organization and purpose. Sometimes, a third-party mediator is necessary and helpful in achieving this end. Persons within a congregation as well as the pastoral leadership often become too personally and emotionally involved to fulfill a mediator function. An outside mediator can help persons deal as positively as possible with a divisive issue by helping them to listen and reflect together on the range of views from factual, biblical, theological, and historical perspectives. More important, such a facilitator can help elicit the emotional/experiential fears behind negative positions. If it is needed, the congregation can then be led toward a consensus decision with which everyone can live.
General plans for action can emerge out of a climate in which mutual goals are recognized and personal caring and acceptance are affirmed. Some helpful guidelines follow:
1.
Keep integrative and long-range goals out in front of all actions.
2.
Deal directly and constructively with differences as they develop.
3.
Focus on education (from all perspectives).
4.
Teach and model communication skills at all times, especially maintaining an open stance and listening.
5.
Keep all parties involved in the process.
6.
Foster a "win/win" consensual attitude that is redemptive, thereby allowing for change with integrity for each person.
7.
Allow each involved to feel personally accepted and empowered in order to avoid defensive, insecure responses.
In dealing with conflict constructively, always remember that most persons want only to be heard and understood (listened to) and do not have to be agreed with in the endeavor toward growth in community. Jesus showed us a way that worked in his ministry. He used the formula of acceptance + challenge = change. Challenge toward change does not seem to be responded to creatively or willingly unless acceptance has been experienced first. This is major precedent for those who want to facilitate growth in a conflict situation.
The theoretical/theological and the practical dimensions of being inclusive in the community of faith are more easily said than done. But some understanding of the dynamics of how persons respond to conflict can be helpful. This analysis and set of guidelines may help congregations on their way toward integration of all of God's children in peace and mission. 0
Donald E. Bossart, Ph. D., is associate professor of interpersonal ministries at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver.
Open Hands 17
SUSTAI
N ING ~ u o ~ o ~ u -< --. ...,. .....~..~ -~-. ~:~/'" E .... -i= .9L Metaphor .52L 'l(econdfing Congregation is [ikf, a 9{gw f£ngfaruffieU. f£acfi!lear tfzefarmer haufs awa!l tfze rock$.from tfzefoJa in order to pfant. r:But after tfze ice aruf cora oftfze wintD, tfze me£ting snow reveafs more rock$ tIiat have worl(ed tIieir wag to tfze surface oftfze earth. So it is witli a 1(econdfing Congregation. f£ven wlien tfze prOCRSS has reacftd tfze point ofresolution ofdisagreements ana concerns, afarrow time wi£[ again proC£uce confBets ana confusedfeelings. r:Being a 1(econciling Congregation requires periodS ofstruggfe ana cfearing, as we[[ as pfanting arufgroWing.
THE S PIRIT
((rr
J or eoerytfzing tfiere is a season, and a timefor eoer!l purpose under fieaven. J J
(Ecclesiastes 3: 1)
P paring ... waiting ... celebrating .. . confessing ... fasting . .. feasting-the seasons of the church
year reflect the many and varied movements of our spirituality.
As communities offaith, the rhythms ofour life
together circle around again year after year, as predictable
as the seasons ofthe earth. As our faith grows and
changes, the liturgical seasons take on new and wonderful meanings, representing at the same time something familiar and something fresh.
What about observing a Season of Reconciliation? Although reconciliation is the work of all seasons and in some way could possibly be a part ofevery liturgical observance, much could be gained from designating a period of time in which reconciliation is consciously and deliberately a part of our life. Perhaps relationships could be deepened and community life strengthened if we took some time to allow the impact of reconciliation to settle in us and find a home.
A Season ofReconciliation could be one Sunday, a couple of weeks, a summer-whatever fits congregational needs. The focus could be as broad or as specific as desired. Reconciling Congregations are justice-seeking churches; our impulses and efforts toward reconciliation include addressing issues ofracism, sexism, ethnocentrism, ageism, as well as homophobia and heterosexism.
Some suggestions for observing a Season of Reconciliation are offered here, but the time can be most fruitful if church members design programs especially appropriate for their congregations. Use these ideas to spark your own creativity:
• Celebrate reconcilers within the congregation-people
who are "in the business" of reconciliation, such as
counselors and social workers; community workers;
socially conscious musicians, poets, and writers; people
18 Open Hands
S U STAINING THE S PIR IT
involved in prison ministry or advocacy for the homeless; or those working with people with AIDS. Beyond this, consider highlighting the reconciling work that happens in all our important relationships (with spouses, children, parents, co-workers, etc.).
•
Invite reflection on where reconciliation is needed in certain areas or relationships within people's lives. A good setting for this reflection might be a retreat or small group experience. Provide opportunities for individuals and the church family to express renewed commitment to reconciliation. Write your own covenants or pledges. A community pledge could be put on a poster and prominently displayed.
•
Make banners, paraments, or clergy stoles-or stoles for everybody picking up on the symbolism of taking up the yoke of service-using colors and symbols that express reconciliation for you. Call attention to them in the newsletter, the bulletin, and during worship.
•
Design a worship service using reconciliation as a theme. Include prayers of confession that highlight your community's particular needs for reconciliation; celebrate reconciliation that is already happening; collect a special offering for a local reconciliation project.
•
Church school classes could go through the morning newspaper together, identifying stories that point to reconciliation that is happening, as well as stories that describe situations where reconciliation is needed.
•
Initiate conversation among various groups within the congregation around the following questions:
-What are the issues that divide our community? (church, neighborhood, city?) -What is the basic source of conflict underlying those issues? -Are there any common threads unifying all the issues? -How can our church be a reconciling presence within this community? -Does reconciliation need to happen within this church? If so, what can we do to bring it about? -What characterizes a Reconciling Congregation?
•
Plan a potluck meal and festival where diversity is celebrated through food, dress, culture, music, and storytelling. You may know of people in your community who represent a culture different than most of your congregation. Invite them to be your special guests and celebrate the richness of all God's children.
•
Conduct a Bible study on reconciliation. Some important scripture passages are Genesis 3, Matthew 5:24, Ephesians 2:12-17, Romans 5:8-11, Colossians 1:19-22, II Corinthians 5: 14-21, and passages in the Old Testament regarding the year ofjubilee, which was a time of reconciliation.
Litany ofReconcifiation
LEADER: PEOPLE: LEADER:
PEOPLE:
LEADER: PEOPLE:
LEADER: PEOPLE:
LEADER: PEOPLE:
LEADER: PEOPLE:
ALL:
For everything there is a season And a time for every matter under heaven. There is a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted ... God, we pray that we will reap bountiful
harvests from our planting, and that we will know when the roots have rotted and the time has come for plucking. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up ... God, give us grace to know that sometimes things must die, or even be destroyed, in order for healing and restoration to come about. Help us do the necessary breaking down and building up in our own lives. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance . .. God, we pray for wholeness and balance. Soften our hearts so that the sorrows and groanings of others might move us to tears, and lighten our spirits so that we can dance and shout for joy and laugh from our bellies when it is time to celebrate. A time to keep, and a time to cast away ... God, give us wisdom to take stock of our attitudes, values, and deeply held beliefs in light of your gospel, so that we will know what is worth keeping in our efforts to bring about your desires, and what it is time to cast away. A time to keep silence [moment of silence], and a time to speak .. . God, give us patience to be silent and still when it is time for that [pause], but also strengthen our voices and our resolve so that in the face of injustice and discrimination, we will speak as the prophets did, calling for righteousness and reconciliation. Planting, plucking, weeping, laughing, waiting, speaking, reconciling ... -for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.
Open Hands 19
~eare some who say that Jesus' temptation in the wilderness didn't really happen. It troubles them to think that Jesus was human enough to really be tempted. This approach robs Jesus of reality. Matthew tells us clearly (Matt. 4:1-I/): Jesus was out there in the wilderness, and he was tempted-just as the people of God had been tempted before his time, andjust as we are tempted now.
God not only allowed this experience to happen; God caused it to happen. No sooner was Jesus' baptism over, then he was taken out into the desert by the same Spirit that had descended like a dove a few hours before. In the eyes of the people ofJesus' day, he was now on Satan sturf, not Gods, since they believed that Satan owned the world.
People in the ancient world usually lived within walled cities. Inside the walls, there was law and order; outside the walls and between the cities, there was territory not governed by law. In Palestine the territory outside city walls was dangerous desert and wilderness.
In a sense, the city walls and desert wilderness of ancient times are like our own lives. We all have walls-familiar structures that keep us safe, both as a community and as individuals. When the Spirit enters our lives, however, everything is suddenly different. We become newly aware of God s presence and call If we respond, we are taken out from our safe walls into dangerous territory, beyond everything that is familiar, safe, and predictable.
Into tlie
wilderness
one look at us in this church on a Sunday morning, and a stranger would likely assume that we all lead normal-and fairly dull-lives. That stranger probably would conclude that we are rather typical of a small inner-city church.
But that stranger might be surprised, because a few weeks ago our Administrative Council walked straight out of these safe walls and into a wilderness, taking their pastor with them.
Without lengthy study, but with sensitivity and awareness, the council voted to have our church become a Reconciling Congregation. By doing this, we stated publicly that gay men and lesbians are welcome as full, participating members of our congregation, and we pledged to work for justice for all people.
I first learned about the Reconciling Congregation Program in late 1985. In the following months, I had quiet conversations with some council members, in which we discussed the concept. But I did not push it-I knew it would be political suicide for me. In my heart, I believed that becoming a Reconciling Congregation was the right thing to do, but I was afraid that down the line I would be
20 Open Hands
"punished," as only the bishop and Cabinet can punish!
And then came our council meeting in November 1986. I had decided to play it by ear: if the meeting went well, I'd take the plunge. The meeting was interminably long, and we were tired. I'm always last on the agenda, and soon it would be my turn. I honestly did not know what would be the best thing to do. I couldn't risk a "no" vote. And, yes, at the back of my mind was my next appointment. I was scared.
And then, in what I am convinced was the Spirit of God at work, when it came time for new business Nita suddenly spoke. Words came tumbling out: "Last-nightwe-were-talking-about-being-a-Reconciling-Congregation-and-I-thought -we-already-were-but -Sally-said-we 'renot-so-I-move-we-do." Doris quickly seconded.
It was a wonderful moment. Laity will go where clergy fear to tread! There was some discussion; after all, not everyone knew what a Reconciling Congregation is, and some thoughtful questions were raised. But after a few minutes we agreed we were ready to vote. It was a unanimous "yes."
A weight was lifted from my shoulders. I actually wept! It felt good. During the next month, Quentin drafted our statement, and after a few minor changes it was passed unanimously at the council's December meeting.
We knew that we needed to inform our district superintendent. When two members of our council, Nita and Earl, and I eventually managed to get together with him, it was another wilderness. We stressed that a Reconciling Congregation is not making a statement about sexuality, but about ministry. He wasn't enthusiastic. Of course, he was hearing about the Reconciling Congregation Program for the first time. He wanted to know what this would mean to me in the conference. No doubt he was concerned about himself, too: after all, he was a brand new OS, and now he had to deal with this (in his estimation) flaming liberal pastor and the far-out congregation!
When the Devil left Jesus, Matthew says, angels came to him and "helped him." I'm sure you know who my angels were in the OS's office.
We know that problems may lie ahead. Some of our inactive members will learn about this in a distorted wayand you may be sure it will be distorted! Frankly, I don't know what will happen then.
And you folks may be stuck with me for a while!
The challenge of the Gospel is not to play it safe, not to hide in the comfort and security of old, familiar ways. We are called out. We are a pilgrim people, who must travel by the light of the Gospel through the wilderness territory that lies between the walled cities. I am glad that we are a Reconciling Congregation. If we are truly faithful to the Gospel, then one day there will be for us a heavenly walled city, and we won't ever have to be in the wilderness again. 0
S ally V. Daniel is pastor of Grant Park-Aldersgate UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Atlanta. This article is excerpted from a sermon delivered at Grant Park-Aldersgate on March 8, 1987.
p p
s E c I A L R E o R T
CAN A LESBIAN/GAY CHURCH BE A
CONTINUING
REAL CHURCH?
The issue at dispute has never been whether MCC meets the legal or instiTHE
DIALOGUE: tutional definition of a church or fulfills the NCC's own membership requirements. In fact, in March 1982, the council's Constituent Membership
MCC AND THE NATIONAL
Committee voted unanimously that MCC was eligible for membership. Rather, as the Rev. Elder Nancy WilCOUNCIL
OF CHURCHES son, MCC's chief ecumenical officer,
A fter the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) applied to join the National Council of Churches (NCC) in 1981 , the council found itself embroiled in deep controversy. The NCC's then-president, James Armstrong, who was also a United Methodist bishop at the time, reportedly told one MCC official that her denomination's application threatened to destroy the council. Whether prompted by fear of causing a schism in the councilor by legitimate desire for a greater understanding of homosexuality, the NCC's Governing Board has repeatedly put off voting on the primarily lesbian/gay denomination's application. Such a vote was first set for May 1983, after a one-year study period. Then, in November 1982, the board decided to extend the study period to May 1984. In November 1983, the board voted to "postpone indefinitely" action on MCC's application. Instead, it appointed a steering committee to develop a process for NCC and MCC to dialogue around three issues: "Christian unity and ecclesiology,* biblical interpretation, and human sexuality." Since then, separate consultations focusing on each of these issues have
* Webster's defines ecclesioLogy as "the study of church architecture and adornment." In the council's usage, however, it has the broader meaning of "what makes a church a church."
By Bradley Rymph
been held with representatives of MCC and NCC member denominations participating. However, only 14 of the council's 32 member denominations have participated in any of the consultations.
At the November 1987 Governing Board meeting, the consultation steering committee recommended that a new committee be appointed to develop yet another process to continue NCC/ MCC dialogue. The committee also recommended that the council begin a comprehensive study on the general subject of human sexuality.
In acting on those recommendations, a few board members attempted to avert any vote that would affirm the dialogue as a positive experience. Yet the recommendations passed by a large majority. And, more important, according to the Rev. Joseph Gilbert, an MCC participant, "there did not seem to be the same monolithic centers of opposition. Even when most of the delegates from one denomination [voted against the recommendations], some one or another seemed freer to break ranks."
According to Rev. Gilbert, MCC participants "left exhilarated. For the first time in the Western Christian Tradition, the church had agreed that it needed more, not less, real information about human sexuality and less bombast."
Of course, MCC still is not a member of the council, and when it will be remains an open question.
explained during the ecclesiology consultation, the issue has been whether MCC is "a 'legitimate' church based on our primary outreach to homosexuals."
At that consultation, various presenters addressed this issue. Publicly, at least, the questions were whether any religious group can have a single-issue focus and be a true church and whether MCC is concerned with only one subject-homosexuality. One of the presenters, Archie Smith, Jr., the Foster professor of pastoral psychology and counseling at Pacific School of Religion, doubted that MCC is a singleissue church:
[MCC congregations] are concerned with the creation of permeabLe boundaries by weLcoming all persons. Furthermore, they are concerned with a wide variety of faith issues, including spirituaL wholeness, economic and social justice, quaLity of Life, world peace, Life and death.
Rev. Wilson, as another presenter, dismissed the ecclesiology issue as "bogus and really a smokescreen." Accepting the claim that a church cannot be organized around homosexuality, she countered that MCC
is not ... organized around homosexuality. The question is, is [our denomination] organized around Legitimizing a kind of behavior? Or is it a church reaching out to a kind of people? This is the crux of the issue that is
mislabeled "ecclesiology." . .. Are gays and lesbians a kind of people, or only a kind of behavior? And is homosexuaLity per se unacceptabLe in a Christian context? InevitabLy, that is the question we return to.
Indeed, that does seem to be the basic. question. The council members that have most vehemently opposed
Open Hands 21
p
s p E c I A L R E o R T
MCC's application-primarily Eastern Orthodox and Protestant evangelical denominations-generally insist that homosexuality is so incompatible with Christianity that they cannot possibly view MCC as a true church.
In comments both to the ecclesiology consultation and to the Governing Board, Rev. Wilson attempted to place that argument in perspective, noting that some other NCC members also welcome gay men and lesbians as members and have theological and ethical positions on homosexuality similar to MCC's.
In addition, Rev. Wilson observed that diversity already exists in the NCC over a wide variety of religious issuesamong them, abortion, capital punishment, divorce, female clergy, forms and minimum ages for baptism, necessity or validity of an episcopacy. If difference of opinion is accepted on these issuessome of which involve life-and-death issues and respect for the sacramentswhy, then, does the NCC continue to refuse MCC's application for admission?
HEARING ONLY ONE
SIDE OF THE ISSUE
Critics of the consultation steering committee have charged that "both sides" of the issues surrounding MCC and homosexuality were never presented at the consultations. According to Rev. Wilson, however, MCC participants suggested several scholars who had published articles on the "other side." NCC officials rejected everyone of those suggestions because the persons were not credible, respected authorities. In a report to the Governing Board, Rev. Wilson noted:
The only pubLished witnesses we knew of were associated with the kind of right-wing fundamentalism from which the CounciL seeks to disassociate itself. What does this say? I beLieve that what is says is that ... there are not two sides to this issue. But, as with racism and sexism, there are two dynamics: the emerging truth, and the resistance to hearing it and putting it into practice. As peopLe study and learn about human sexuality, and about gay men and Lesbians, they learn difficuLt truths that the rest of the
22 Open Hands church does not want to hear, at Least at first. This is not a new story. [NCC members] are not just stuck between two equaLLy valid sides of an issue. Rather the [council] is stuck with a moral/political/spirituaL dilemma: How to keep saying "no" to its gay and Lesbian chiLdren in the face of overwhelming evidence that aLL of the resistance is BiblicaLLy, scientifically, and theoLogicaLLy unwarranted. Or, more positively, how to say yes to gay men and Lesbians when homophobia is still so much a part of our culture and tradition.
CONTINUING TOWARD
RECONCILIATION
Why does MCC continue to dialogue with an NCC that could be viewed as hopelessly slow, stalling, afraid to take a conclusive vote? In her comments to the Governing Board, Rev. Wilson explained:
First of all, we get the same things you getbeing with you sometimes makes our own journey a little less lonely. We have the opportunity to experience the wider church in the ecumenical movement, to hear the great prophetic voices of our age. To learn and to grow. We have a chance to contribute our gifts, in so far as we are welcomed, to the ecumenical movement. Also we come to witness to a miracle, that even in the midst of the AIDS crisis, God is doing wonderful things in our community. God is blessing and healing our people and our churches. God is teaching us and strengthening us. We come to you with a story of courage and hope, of goodness, of great joy, that Jesus' amazing
and saving grace is ours as well! ...
Sometimes we are not as patient as we wouLd like to be about our participation in the Council. It is not easy for us to sit by while the nature of our humanity, or the reaLness of our church is debated and We stay because we beLieve God has asked us to stay, and because we believe that any suffering that causes us, or our people, is redemptive suffering . ...
We also dare to believe that to know us is to love us; to love us is to include us; and that ultimately the Council must face that or forsake its own values. 0
More information on MCC's application to the NCC can be obtained by writing the Rev. Sandra Robinson, Department of Ecumenical Witness and Ministry, Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, P.O Box 5757, Dayton, OH 45405.
NATIONAL
GATHERINGS
S everal nationallesbianlgay religious groups hoLd national gatherings during the summer and early faLL. These events provide opportunities for community building. spiritual reflection, and worship for lesbians and gay men and their famiLies and friends. Here are the events we 've received notice of and how to get more information.
May 20-22, 1988, in Washington, DC. "Conference on Homophobia Education" sponsored by coalition of religious and other organizations. Participation li mited. Contact: Campaign to End Homophobia, P.o. Box 819, Cambridge, MA 02139.
May 21-25, 1988. in Arlington, Texas. "Gathering of Christians" sponsored by the National Council of Churches. A visible lesbian/gay presence is being coordinated by the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches. Contact: Rev. Joseph Gilbert. P.O. Box 8174, Philadelphia, PA 19101.
June 7-15, 1988, in St. Louis. Annual gathering of Presbyterians for Lesbians and Gay Concerns coinciding with the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Contact: James Anderson, P.o. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903.
July 6-10, 1988, in Colorado Springs, Colorado. 8th national gathering of the United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Contact: Susan Echo, 2358 S. University, #10, Denver, CO 80210.
July 21-24, 1988, in Toronto, Canada. 6th 'biannual international assembly of Lutherans ConcernedI North America. Contact: LCI NA, P.o. Box 10461, Fort Dearborn Station, Chicago, IL 60610.
September 16-18, 1988, in San Francisco. Semiannual national gathering of Affirmation: United Methodists for LesbianlGay Concerns. Contact: Affirmation,
P.O. Box 1021, Evanston, IL 60204.
Bradley Rymph is co-editor of Open Hands and a member of the Coordinating Committee of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/ Gav Concerns. He is a member of Christ UMC, a Reconciling Congregation in Washington. D.C.
RESOURCES
BOOK REVIEW
Living in Sin?
By John Shelby Spong
San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988
(scheduled for May release)
Most people who read Living in Sin? will have a strong reaction to it. The book is designed to make "people change their opinions and grow" by forcing them "in debate to defend their prejudices." The author hopes this volume will help move the church toward "an appropriate response" to what he describes as "changing patterns of family life and human sexuality." This emerging reality is that many, perhaps most, church folkswithin and outside the church-are ignoring the traditional teaching "that genital sexual activity is neither appropriate nor moral except inside the bond of marriage." Like it or not, he argues,
There can and will be no return to the values and virtues of that patriarchal age in which what most people define as "traditional" moral norms were developed. More and more we will witness the expansion of that gray area bounded by promiscuity on the one side and sex onLy inside marriage on the other. Most peopLe will Live inside this area of reLativity, of uncertainty, of various LeveLs of commitment and various kinds of sexuaL practices. It wiLL be in the gray area that new vaLues will need to be formulated.
Author Spong, who is bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, holds that the church has much to contribute toward the formulation of new values. Far from being an enemy of this enterprise, the Bible is a significant ally when it is freed of the idolatrous literalism that has supported the "status quo"-that keeps people enslaved, women in their place, and gay men and lesbians in the closet. The strongest and by far the longest portion of the book is the chapter entitled "The Case Against Literalism."
The author looks carefully at the biblical
attitudes toward women and toward homosexuality.
These analyses distinguish
between divine truth and the culturally conditioned
worldview of the writers. Uniformly,
Spong rejects those worldviews and tries to
identify the "spirit beneath the letter that
brings the Bible forward in time with integrity"
and to make it a "source of life" and "a
guide in the area of sexual ethics."
On this basis Bishop Spong sets aside
traditional teachings and develops a series of
"new proposals" to affirm non marital arenas
for loving sexual expression, including gay and lesbian relationships and committed but not necessarily permanent relationships between heterosexual couples, as well as "Holy Sex" for mature "post-married singles." He encourages the use of a rite for acknowledging and "blessing" the pain of divorce. At the same time he acknowledges marriage as the ideal for most and freely chosen celibacy as an important option for a few. As a final proposal, he encourages the election of more women bishops to symbolize that the church has finally moved beyond its patriarchal heritage. This broad-brush look at the range of issues of human sexual expression is exactly the right context to discuss gay and lesbian relationships.
Authors such as John Boswell, James Nelson and Robin Scroggs have already broken most of the biblical and theological ground covered in this little book. However, Living in Sin? is brief enough and nontechnical enough to be used as a discussion guide for an adult or older youth group. Such usage would only be effective with a group open to new understandings. The bishop's approach to scripture is anathema to literalists and fundamentalists, who are unlikely to be convinced by his argument.
The main weakness of Living in Sin? occurs when the author makes an ill-advised attempt to demonstrate the neurobiological
basis of sexual orientation. The section
weakens his argument by implying that this
is the primary basis for a more open
approach to persons with a same-sex orientation.
Furthermore, Spong evidently does
not understand or appreciate the difference
between sexual orientation on one hand and
gender identity and gender role on the other.
Despite this unfortunate distraction, Living in Sin? addresses the churches' current debate on sexuality in a useful and articulate way. It is a welcome addition to the growing list of resources.
Reviewed by Morris Floyd, co-spokesperson of Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns.
BULLETIN-After we began production on this issue of Open Hands, the Abingdon Press Division of the United Methodist Publishing House unexpectedly announced that it was cancelling its contract to publish tlving in Sin? by Bishop John Spong. This story was filed by John Hannay. a consuhant in Bahimore. Maryland. and occasional contributor to Open Hands.
UMC PUBLISHERS CANCEL BOOK
(April 18) Earlier this spring, Abingdon Press released an excerpt from Living in Sin? by Episcopal bishop John Spong in Circuit Rider magazine, a publication for United Methodist clergy. In that excerpt, Spong called for careful consideration of rites of betrothal for unmarried heterosexual couples living together "in contexts in which lifetime vows are neither expected nor required." The excerpt contained no discussion of lesbian/ gay issues.
The excerpt set off, however, a firestorm of reaction from the Circuit Rider's more conservative readers. According to Martha Pilcher, manager of communications for the Publishing House, "we were deluged with phone calls and letters criticizing us for publishing Bishop Spong's point of view and asking us to publish only material which was consistent with official United Methodist statements."
It was following that reaction and in anticipation of the UMC General Conference meeting April 26-May 6, that Publishing House president Robert Feaster, after consultation with the executive committee of the house's board, decided to cancel publication of the book.
"The emotionally charged atmosphere which has intensified in recent weeks," said Feaster, "makes difficult the Publishing House's fulfillment of its primary mission to publish materials which encourage thoughtful discussion and understanding of issues confronting Christian people. We believe that the General Conference and other groups within the life of the UMC will be best served by a moderating climate that promotes careful, prayerful, and reconciling discussion of these matters. While the Publishing House planned to publish Living in Sin? to encourage that debate, it has been determined that the church's publisher could appear to be aggravating fierce controversy rather than helping to find solutions."
Abingdon's decision to cancel has been viewed as highly unusual because they invited Spong to write the book. According to spokeswoman Pilcher, the decision by Feaster came after a great deal of deliberation. "We are well aware that our mission is to encourage thoughtful discussion among a diverse customer group. We do not have to publish only official denominational statements to accomplish this, although we try to make those views known. This time the climate of fear, hysteria, and misunderstanding in the church around these issues was just so great that we had no other choice. It was disappointing to us all."
Another source in the Publishing House,
Open Hands 23
RESOURCES
who asked not to be named, confirmed a climate of fear that arose close to the time of the book's scheduled publication. "At first everyone was very excited about the book. It was feIt that it would be a positive step forward. But then, everybody became really fearful and anxious. I think it was because of some heavy criticism from a relatively small, but highly organized, faction which is trying to keep anything but the official church line from being circulated within the denomination."
The source also cited two other recent incidents as contributing to the climate of fear within the Publishing House. One was the anticipated release of another book by former United Methodist Reporter staffperson Roy Howard Beck, entitled On Thin /ceo That book heavily criticizes UMC general agencies for being "out of touch" with the church. Beck also writes of a series of conversations he had with unnamed general board and agency sources in which allegations were made about large numbers of homosexual staffpersons in UMC agencies in New York.
"That really scared a lot of people," said the Publishing House source, "not because it's necessarily true, but because it could be distorted to compromise the integrity of a lot of what the general agencies are doing. This led to a sort-of unannounced policy at the Publishing House of trying to keep the homosexual issue as invisible as possible when it comes to agency activities."
The second contributing factor was a series of police raids in the Nashville area (where the Publishing House is based) on a child sex ring. "A number of persons picked up in the raids, but not all of them, were homosexual," said the source. "It included a prominent staffer for the Southern Baptist Sunday School Board [also based in Nashville], who later committed suicide. That whole set of events was widely covered in the local media, frequently sensationalized, and contributed to an overall climate of hysteria when it came to sexuality issues."
Since Abingdon's decision to cancel, Harper and Row has decided to publish the book, with a release date of May 15. In the announcement that it was picking up the book, Harper and Row said it was "very pleased to be the unexpected publisher of this bold, important, and constructive book."
In a prepared statement, Bishop Spong said, "It is a sad experience to observe the fear of sexuality that is so rampant in some Christian circles."
"There is no doubt, whatever the opposition, that issues of sexuality will be debated both in our society and within the Church," Spong continued. "Moralistic repression is not going to terminate the discussion. The
24 Open Hands
hierarchy, whether it is Roman Catholic, Methodist, or Episcopal, cannot end the questioning and debating .... The truth shall be determined by dialogue, not by censors."
"We need to face the reality that we are living during a period of major transformation in all areas of sexuality . .. . The Church must participate in discussions [about thisl as something other than close-minded voices from another era. If some Christian leaders cannot do this, then all churches will discover that ignorance, no matter how sanctified with pious words, is still ignorance and the voice of the Christian Church will be ignored as irrelevant." 0
STUDy/MINISTRY
RESOURCES
T here are many resources availabLe for deveLoping reconciling ministries with lesbians and gay men in your local church. The ones provided here are produced by denominational groups and are probably not avaiLable in a bookstore.
A Call For Dialog: Gay and Lesbian Christians and the Ministry of the Church. Lutherans Concerned/NA, 1985. Produced by Task Force on Theology of LC/NA as a basis for theological/biblical reflection on ministries with lesbians and gay men. 12 pages. Order for $1.50 from LC/NA, P.O. Box 10461, Fort Dearborn Station, Chicago, IL 60610.
A Guide for Pastoral Care in Matters Concerning Homosexuality. Division of Parish Services of the former Lutheran Church in America, 1987. Written by Harold C. Skillrud and Richard L. Schaper, pastors of Lutheran Church of the Redeemer in Atlanta. Provides caring perspective and concrete suggestions for pastoral and congregational ministries with lesbians and gay men. 23 pages. Order for $3.50 from Order Secretary, Division for Parish Services, 2900 Queen Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19129.
Bibliography: The Church and Lesbian/Gay Concerns. Presbyterians for Lesbian/ Gay Concerns, 1987. Annotated bibliography covering: general lesbian/gay concerns; lesbians/gay men and the church; biblical/theological studies; psychological/sociological studies; youth and families; civil rights; pastoral care; AIDS and health issues. 18 pages. Order for $2.00 from PLGC, P.o. Box 38, New Brunswick, NJ 08903.
Breaking the Silence, Overcoming the Fear: Homophobia Education. New York: Presbyterian Church eu.S.A.), 1985. Background articles on homophobia and theological/biblical perspectives with several models for homophobia education. Includes a bibliography. 71 pages. Order for $3.50 from Church Education Services, Room 1101, 475 Riverside Drive, New York, NY 10115.
How to Become a Reconciling Congregation. Reconciling Congregation Program, 1987. Paper outlining process and steps guiding a local church to affirm its ministry with lesbians and gay men. 4 pages. Order at no cost from RCP, P.o. Box 24213, Nashville, TN 37202.
Resources for Ministry with Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Persons. United Church Coalition for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, 1987 ed. A packet of information on "Open and Affirming" ministries, homophobia, issues for families and friends of lesbians and gay men. Order for $7.50 from UCC/LGC, 18 N. College Street, Athens, OH 45701.
Thinking It Through: United Methodists Look at the Church and Homosexuality. Methodist Federation for Social Action, 1987. Collection of reprinted articles from many sources covering: forming a reconciling attitude, ordering our theology of ministry, developing AIDS ministries, and resources for reconciling ministries. Order for $8.00 from MFSA, 76 Clinton Avenue, Staten Island, NY 10301.
Where Do We Go From Here? Massachusetts Conference of the United Church of Christ, 1987. Six-week study course developed to lead to affirmation of local church ministries with lesbians and gay men. Order for $5.00 from MACUCC, c/o Ann B. Day, 75 Pilgrim Drive, Holden, MA 01520.