Tracy Smith

My name is Tracy Smith and I earned my M.Div. From Boston University School of Theology in 1984.  I grew up in the United Methodist church and was very active in the youth and camp programs throughout my junior and senior high years of school.  I felt called to ministry during those years, preparing myself by first attending a Christian college for four years.

I realized I was a lesbian my last year of college.  I continued with my plans of theology school not knowing really what this would mean for my career.  The pastor of my church where I sought to be "in care" found out that I was a lesbian at the end of my first year at BUSTH.  I was outed by another student in the same conference.  My pastor said he would make it his mission to see to it that I never ministered in a church.  He was a member of the Board of Ordained Ministers in the Michigan Eastern conference.  He stuck by his word and was successful in keeping me out of ordained ministry in the United Methodist denomination.  I was offered the opportunity to write a statement that I believed homosexuality was wrong, not keeping with Christian teaching, and that I would remain celibate.  If only I would sign…

I did not sign a statement.  There were many years of struggle, being lost, and in the end being found.  I have a successful private practice in psychotherapy where I work with gay, lesbian and heterosexual people.  I am truly honored that I am allowed to journey with people during some of the most significant times of their lives.  I am able to fulfill my call to ministry in my work.  What is of God will prevail if we continue to be faithful!

Besides my practice of 11 years, I am the Minister of Outreach at Euclid Ave. UMC in Oak Park, IL.  During this time of turmoil Euclid made a bold statement in creating a position to reach out to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people.  My heart aches during communion because I know that even with the taking of this position it does not change the reality that I can not administer the sacraments.  Until something radical changes, I will not be ordained.  The beautiful stole you view will never be mine to wear.

I am blessed with a partner of 15 years.  Together we have created a family, a 3 year old daughter and a 16 month old daughter who we have adopted internationally.  My partner is out of the country as I write this to bring our youngest daughter home!  Life is full!  People and politics have not always been good to me but I can say that God is good and has been good to me.

This stole was given to us in advance of the 2000 General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Cleveland, OH.  The United Methodist Church has turned away a treasure in denying Tracy Smith the opportunity to pursue her call to ordained ministry.  Fortunately, Euclid Ave. Church recognized Tracy's abundant gifts and made a place for her on their staff.

 In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April.  At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection.  We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend.  Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves.  In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference.  Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland.  Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240.

 Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested.  As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles.  Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth.  A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles”.  In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide.

Martha Juillerat

Founder, Shower of Stoles Project

2006