Elaine Ely (Dickinson)

ELAINE ELY (DICKINSON)

Lansdale, Pennsylvania
Formerly: Eastern Pennsylvania Conference, United Methodist Church
Currently: Southeast Conference of the United Church of Christ

In 1987, I was a thirty-seven year old wife and mother when I was called to the ministry at a youth retreat lead by a Christian rock group called "Servant."  They performed a song called "We are the Light," and as the sang, God said, "You, Elaine, are my light.  I need you."  That weekend I committed my life to God's work, whatever that might mean.

Following all the appropriate channels of prayer, counseling, mentorship and guidance that the church had to offer, I entered seminary and pursued ordination.  I had grown up in the (United) Methodist Church and had never considered affiliating with any other denomination.  During my education and preparation for ordination, I came to appreciate why the United Methodist Church was so right for me -- the message of and focus on grace, the celebration of our pluralism, and the fact that decisions are based on not just scripture and tradition, but also experience and reason.  I was thrilled, humbled, awed and inspired when ordained a deacon in 1991, was appointed to my first church, and accepted my stole, proudly bearing the United Methodist emblem of cross and flame.  I loved parish ministry.  I went on to be ordained an elder in 1993, a year that became one of transition beyond my wildest  imagining.

1993 was the year I came to understand myself more fully, and realized what, in retrospect, has been a part of me all my life.  I am a Lesbian.  I took a leave of absence from my church in order to spare my  congregation the pain of my life struggles.  And then, out of fear of losing the privilege of ministry, which was so important to me, I relinquished my credentials in the United Methodist Church.  I  had to give  it up to have a hope of ever being able to do it again.  At a time in my life when I most needed a church family, I could not turn to the church I knew and loved without the fear of tragic repercussions.

Over these past seven years, I have grieved many losses -- even as I have celebrated a number of gains.  I grieve the loss of my UMC, but I celebrate being able to be honest with myself, my family and my church about who I am.  I grieve with and for my brothers and sisters in UM ministry who face each day knowing they must live a lie in order to follow God's call.

My ministry now is Hospice chaplaincy where I speak freely to colleagues and co-workers of my partner of seven years and our five month old son.  I have been granted Privilege of Call in the United Church of Christ, where I do not fear identifying myself as a lesbian.  I remind myself that my promise to God (who knew I was gay long before I did) was to dedicate my life not to the UMC but to God.  Therefore, I sadly offer my stole, and pray that the day will come when the UMC will find its way clear to understand, recognize and affirm the absolutely vital ministry that can and needs to be done by your gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.  There is nothing I would love more than to be able to pastor as a openly gay UM clergywoman.

This stole was given to us in advance of the 2000 General Conference of the United Methodist Church in Cleveland, OH.  In 1999, the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) inquired about the possibility of having a display of the Shower of Stoles at the General Conference the following April.  At the time, there were only around twenty United Methodist stoles in the collection.  We decided to introduce the Shower of Stoles to the Reconciling community by bringing the twenty UM stoles and about a hundred others to RMN’s Convocation in Denton, TX over the Labor Day weekend.  Stoles started to trickle in during the fall, and by February they began coming in droves.  In all, we received 220 United Methodist stoles – the vast majority of them arriving within eight weeks of the Conference.  Thanks to a monumental effort by a number of volunteers who pitched in to help record, inventory, sew labels and make last-minute repairs, all of the new stoles were present in Cleveland.  Twenty more people brought stoles directly to Cleveland, bringing the total number on display to 240.

Towards the end of the General Conference, twenty eight lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender United Methodists and allies stood on the Conference floor in silent protest over the Conference’s failure to overturn the ban on LGBT ordination – a profound witness and act of defiance for which they were later arrested.  As these twenty eight moved to the front of the room, another 200 supporters stood up around the balcony railing, each wearing one of the new United Methodist stoles.  Hundreds more stood in solidarity as well, in the balcony and on the plenary floor, wearing symbolic “stoles” made from colorful bands of cloth.  A group of young people from Minneapolis, members of a Communicant’s Class, had purchased bolts of cloth the preceding evening and stayed up all night cutting out close to a thousand of these “stoles.”  In less than eight months, a handful of stoles had grown to become a powerful, visible witness to the steadfast faith of LGBT United Methodists nationwide.

Martha Juillerat
Founder, Shower of Stoles Project
2006