Second Stone #7 - Nov/Dec 1989

Second Stone #7 - Nov/Dec 1989

7

1989

Nov/Dec 1989

THE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER"FOR GAY AND LESBIAN CHRISTIANS $2.25
8000 Readers Across The USA ISSUE #7 I
A Change Of...Heart?
Ex-Gay Ministries Say
There Is Another Choice
By Robert McKnight
Contributing Writer
Though science tends more
and more to show that
sexuality is formed by physical
causes lying beyond an
individual's choice, change
ministries that offer help
toward sexual conversion
are more popular than ever,
said an expert in the field.
"Before Anita Bryant's
campaign on the homosexual
rights bill in Miami,
churches didn't discuss
this," said Rev. Sylvia
Pennington. "There are
many more (churches confronting
the issue) now
than then. They're getting
more sophisticated, more
subtle. Maybe they're not
stressing 'ex-gay.' They'll
teach you you'll still have
desires sometimes."
SEE COVER STORY, Page 9
IDl Art Inspired By
The Light Within m FAMILIES: WasA
Promise From God Broken?
By Michael Blankenship By Rev. Sylvia Pennington
Planning Underway
For National Lesbian
Convention
A national lesbian
conference moved one step
clpser to reality when more
than 160 Lesbians gathered
at Portland State University
for a secon d planning meeting.
The three day session
resulted in an interim task
committee that is empowered
to begin the work necessary to
make the conference a reality
for all Lesbians in the United
States. It is anticipated that
the task force will manage
daily operations until the
full steering committee begins
to function in January of 1990.
The conference is scheduled
for April 24 to 28, 1991 in
Atlanta, Georgia. Conference
SEE CONFERENCE , Page 20
Disciples Of Christ Gay .
Organization Participates
In General Assembly
Gay, lesbi a n and affirming
memb ers and cler gy of the
Christian Chur ch (Disciples
of. Christ) in the United
States and Canada created a
formal organization and
officiall y participated in
that Church's biennial
General Assembly. The group
known as the Gay, Lesbian·
and Affirming Disciples ·
Alliance · or GLAD Alliance _ is
an outgrowth of clandestine
meetings which began at the
1979 General Assembly in St.
Louis and continued through
the 1987 Gen e ral Assembly in
Louis v ille .
In 1988, the Alliance met in
Chicago to begin th e process •
of creating a formal struct ur e
and lay ing th e groundwo rk
for a public presence at the
Church's 1989 . Gene ra l
Assembly. At a retreat held
immediately prior to the
convening of the Assemb ly,
the Alli ance adopte d a
"Design and Cove11ant" to
define its purposes a nd
organizational structure.
Along with other
denomination a l a nd ecumenical
groups, the Alliance
operated a booth in the
Exhibition H a ll of the
Convention Center. Members
disseminated literature and
SEE ASSEMBLY, Page 14
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In Our Next Issue:
Youth Counseling
BULK RATE
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PA ID
NEW ORLEANS, LA
PERMIT No. 511
In spite of a recent government report indicating that gay and
lesbian youth are at increased risk of suicide, most high
schools dare not approach the touchy subject for fear of a
backlash from parents and others: In our next edition, we look
at an innovative, yet embattled, youth counseling program.
From The Editor
Playing Hou~e No "Cure" For Being Gay
In the beautifully photographed
motion picture Maurie~, from the novel
by E. M. Forster, two handsome young
men, Maurice and Clive, meet during
their undergraduate years at
Cambridge, grow to love ee1ch other,
and share many warm and wonderful
times. Shortly after passing his bar
exams, Clive turns away from Maurice, .
declaring that he has "become normal,"
and later marries a quiet and charming
woman and assumes his role in society.
Maurice is unsuccessful in his attempts
through therapy to stop loving Clive
and to change his homosexuality . Soon
he falls in love with another man and
appears at Clive's home one evening to
make the announcement. It was to be
the last time that Clive would ever see
Maurice. Clive watches from a window
as Maurice disappears. Slowly h e
closes the shutters. Shutting Maurice
- out of his life . Shutting himself into a
life of dispassionate love, never again
to feel the intense joy of the sunny
afternoons of their days ·back at school.
It was a love that was innocent and
terrible at the same time. Innocent,
because it happened so wonderfully,
and terrible, only because someone said
. so :i Can the heart of one who longs for,
.or "who's experienced, such a love ever
be changed? The cqver story for our
seventh edition is not so much about ·
change as if is choice . And it's ' not so•
much about .sexuality as it is the
longing of the heart .
A friend of mine, Don, 27, graduated
from an all-male high school where
there was considerable pressure to date
girls. H_e married at 19 and the
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newlyweds soon had a baby girl. Don
began to feel incomplete in his love and
marriage and the family, with much
hurt, anguish and frustration, broke
apart. Don was, is, and always will be
a gay man who, although physically
fully functional in a heterosexual
situation, longed for a completeness
which ·he was not to know in his ·
marriage to his wife.
What is so troubling about the ex-gay
concept is that this, uh ... "ex-straight "
man already had what change
ministries channel a gay or lesbian
person toward ... an opposite-sex spouse,
a home , and children. Yet, with much
heartache, Don left his home and
family. How tragic for him, his loving
and caring wife, and his b ea utiful
daughter. A decision to play house is no
"cure" for being gay.
In the Sept/ Oct, 1988, issue of
Daughters of Sarah there appeared an
article entitled "My Husband is Gay".
It was an interview with a woman who
had married a .gay man. Mike and
Linda were both evangelical
Christians. They had two sons and one
daughter and were living in the
Midwest. Linda said of Mike, "He
tried every kind of therapy, 12-step
groups, Bible studies, and so ·on. For
seven or eight years •·it was an intense
_efforL If anyone sh,ould have ~hanged
by -now, it would be Mike."
And of her own struggle Linda said, "I
had to deal with _ the fact that my
husband is not sexually attracted to me
and he is attracted to men. I came to
. realize my husband would probably
·share his love and affection with
someone other than me. " Mike's heart
was a restless hunter .
I met Ray a couple of years ago. He
had moved to the city from a rural
area, thinking that it might be easier
to meet the man of his dreams. He was
good natured, attractive, and fun to be
with. In spite of these qualities, Ray
was unable to establish th e
relationship that he longed for. One
afternoon he told me he was tired of
being alone and had began dating
Diane, a woman who he had known for
a !<;mg time. I felt sad for Diane. There
was an unevenness in their
relationship. She was .attracted to him
and loved him dearly. For Ray, Diane
was a refuge from !onliness . I always
thought that she deserved more. What
an unfortunate day for her when this
"ex-gay" man finds the love that he
· initially sought.
No "conversion " has taken place just
because a gay man or lesbian settles into
an opposite-sex marriage . Even th e
evidence of their physical bonding - a
child - is no proof of the ".conversion,"
although ex-gay ministries would see a
victory ther e. Only slightly below the
facade is ·much potential for hurt and
suffering, not only for the ex-gay
"convert" but for his or her spouse and
children as well. A gay man or lesbian
making an ex-gay decision loses the
chance to love · fully. Th e ir
opposite-sex spouse will be cheat ed,
never receiving back the precious love
that they give so fully and freely. The
·"right person" for both of them is still
out there, somewhere, alone and
seeking. And it's all the more tragic if
any children are born into the ex-gay
In This Issue
FEATURES
COVER STORY
THE LIGHT WITHIN
COLUMNS
FROM THE EDITOR
COMMENTARY
CLOSER LOOK
FAMILIES
TRAVEL
VIDEOS
MAKING -OTHER PLANS
PARTING THOUGHT
DEPARTMENTS
'NEWSBRIEFS
ORGANIZATION NEWS
CALENDAR
CLASSIFIED
THE SECOND STONE
□
family.
Affectual and se·xual orientation is a
basic, innate part of .one's being . To
change it is not a decision one can make .
There is, however , a choke to be. made.
Maurice chose to fully be himself, to
live and love to his greatest potential,
in spite of the difficulties. Clive chose
to play his role as best he could,
entering into a loveless marriage, never
really living life for himself . There
were days when he probably stood
alone peering through the shutters.
Remembering. Longing. ~
□
Page 9
Page 10
Page 2
Page 3
Page 14
Page 15
Page 16
Page 18
Page 19
Page 20
Page 4
Page 12
Page13
Page '19
Commentary
Jim Roche
-Non-Existing In Four Fifths Of America
ByJimRoche
Contributing Writer
In Gay Justice Richard Morh asks:
"How can it b e that fully four-fifths
of Americans claim that they don't
have any Gay or Lesbian _acquai
nt ances?" After celebrating the
twentieth anniversary of Stonewall
you too may be asking that question.
In New York it was an entire month of
eve nts: gay and lesbian dances, gay
and .lesbian film festivals, gay and
lesbian parties, forums, church
services, marches, rallies and picnics.
Too m any things for me to even try
and attend. And Gay and Lesbian
month isn't the on ly time of year we
are to be heard from. It's amazing
that with all the gay publicity that
is seen and heard these days because
of AIDS, with all the political
actions that we read and hear about
(when isn't ACT-UP in the paper?),
with all the Gay and Lesbian
characters in TV programs, in movies
and in literature, and with all the
Gay Pride Day celebrations
everywhere from New York to San
Francisco to Norfo lk, Virginia and•
Austin, Texas, that most Americans
still claim they don't even know of
us ! But that's the claim, that's what
they say, and I believe them. That
is, I believe that's what they think.
Or what they want to think. We all
know it isn't true, but they are
THE SECOND STONE Newspaper is
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PUBLISHER/EDITOR: Jim Bailey
convinced it is true. In After the Ball
Marshall Kirk and H unt er Madsen
put it another way: "What do
straights think about Gays? They
don't." That's all there is to it. They
don't think about Gays. Period. And
they don't want do. And Gay P rid e
Day won't help change that.
Once-a-year memorial services for
those who have died , from
complications of AIDS won't help.
Once -a-year events only prove to
straight society that running into us,
running in to a Gay or Lesbian person
is an exception . We can be found in
parades or mentioned on occasion in
the papers and on TV. So don 't worry.
To middle America that · kind of
visibi lity isn't proof that we really
exist and matter, instead it's proof
that we don 't exist. At least not in
any way that matters. Too many
times I have heard the rationale
that AIDS will come home to
everyone. That every single person in
this country will be affected by it. I
don't think that's ·true. AIDS is still
so .connected -with the -untouchable ,
the unknowable, the unthinkable
that people have a capacity to ignore
i t and not be affected. It still
h<Jppens to someone else. To middl e
America it will never happen to
someone they know, b eca use it
happens to Gays and they .don't know
a·ny. If .it does happen to someone
they know , it. was another exception.
Middle America will put forth
whatever efforts are necessary to see
that we don't exist. Or if we do, they
won't know about it. The on ly one
who seems to get an understanding
from all these eve nts, all these
parades and celebrations and
memorials , that it means we do
really exist is us. Gay men and
Lesb ian women. It proves to us th at,
as my bumper sticker on my car says,
"we are everywhere." -Now that isn't
bad in itself , because more Gay and
Lesbian people have had a hard ti.me
dealing with the reality of their own
existence right from 'the beginning.
Usually we are told by our parents
and friends that our feelings don't ·
exist, that our sexual urges don 't exist
and by the government as well as our
friends that our relationships don't
exist. Try having a discussion about
your gay or lesbian relationship with
a few straight friends and you'll see
how quickly the sub ject changes.
Proving to ourselves that we do exist,
with parades and rallies and parties
and film festivals, is not so bad in
itself. But still to the vast majority
of Americans, we are in:.rislble. The
invisible minority. We are as real to
them as the faeries of Shakespeare.
Our being an invisib le minority isn't
somethi n g to take lightly. Some of us
like it that way, and we prefer that
who we are be kept a secret. We need
to protect our jobs, our relationships
and sometimes ourselves. The
government and others also want who
we are kept a little secret. That's
why there's been so much opposition
to the anti-Gay hate crimes bills
that have been defeated all over the
country. If we are being threatened,
beat up and murdered all over the
American landscape , then we exist.
So Jesse Helms and oth e rs do
whatever they can to see to it that
we don't. And that no evidence that
we exist com.es to light. That's why
anti-discrimination laws are so hard
to get passed, and when they are
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November /December 1989
□ .
passed, so easy to repeal. It isn't that
people feel, as they say, that we
shouldn't get "special privileges" or
that the government shou ldn' t pass
laws that in effect "promote
homosexuality as a lifestyle." Nor is
it that people actually want us to be
discriminated against, it's that they
object to any law that says we exist.
That we are real, substantial beings.
To these right wing religious groups
any law that would bring to public
view proof that we exist is a bad .Jaw.
If we are discriminated against, we
must really be, right? That's why so
many people object to the inclusion of
homosexuality in school family life
and sex education programs. Recently
when the state Cif Virginia mandated
that the ·school family lif e
curriculum include information on
SEE COMMENTARY, Page 4
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II
Newsbriefs
World AIDS Day,
Dec. 1
The Worl,d Health Organization has
declared December f.lhe second annual ·
World AIDS Day, For information
write to Public Information Office,
Globaf Programme on AIDS, WHO,
1211 .Geneva 27, Switzerland .
Gay Religious
Order Forming
Ecumenical Brothers of the Mercy of
God is a gay Christian religious
community of men who feel the call of
Christ to serve the needs of all people.
A spokesperson for the group said, "If
you feel a special call to serve Chris t
through the message of the Gospel, we
invite you to join this very special
society. Your be ing .gay is not what we
question here, it is your desire to be a
part of a religious family sharing your
God -given gifts to those who are
. reaching out. Although we are -in
formation, we are receiving
candidates ."
For furthur information contact the
Ecumenical Brothers of the Mercy of
God , Suite 212 /3 41 East Center St .,
Man~hester, CT 06040. ,
:Out Front
Judges' Code May
Include Ban On
Discrimination
Against. Gays
BOSTON - The next code of ethics for
judges will include a ban against
discrimination based on sexual
orientation if the National Gay and
Lesbian Law Association has its way .
Board member Suzanne Bryant testified
in Washington, D .C. before · the
American Bar Association committee
which is currently revising the ethics
code. Ms. Bryant described the c:urrent
"epidemic ofviolence" against Lesbians
and Gays "who are often reluctant to
· . . _,,,,,,,,::1'
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rep ort' crimes because they fear they
may, like rape victims, be victimized a
second time by the judicial system."
Last February that ABA passed a
resolution supporting legis l ation
prohibiting discrimination based on
sexual orientation in employment,
housing and public accomodations .
Now, the ABA is revising , the Model
Code of Judicial Ccihduct which serves
as ethical guidance for judges
throughout the country. The draft
revised code prohibits bias based on
race, sex, religion an.d national origin,
but fails to mention sexual orientation.
Testimony at the hearing showed
that the justice system is not always
impartial when it comes to Lesbians
and Gays . In 1987, Daniel Wan was
brutally beaten and murdered outside a
gay bar in Fort Lauderdale. At a
COMMENTARY, From Page 3
homosexuality, to do something about
their increasing drop out and teen
suicid e rate, parents and .right wing
religious groups objected, forcing
many school districts to remove any
mention of homosexuality from their
curriculum . Some said they would
rather have a "dead son than a gay
one." They want us not to exist. And
that's how far they are willing to go
to make sure we don ' t. They will
ignore the life and death struggles of
their own children . If they don't
have to admit that we exist, for all
intents and purposes, we don'.t.
Much of the time we seem to b e all
too willing to go along with the idea .
The problem we have is that for the
most part we can go along our
everyday paths and never seem to be
any more gay or lesbian than anyone
else. We can pass . That's something
no other minority group has been able
to do before, and ies also one of the
reasons that people are so paranoid
about Gay and Lesbian people. Like
communists, we don't know any, but
anyone could be one.
What does all this mean? It means
that you should know that coming out
at a parade is nice. Numbers are
important . Coming out at a rally, a
sit -in or a memorial service is nice.
It's something we should all do, for
our own sake. But the most important
place to come out, the most important
place to take your stand as a Gay man
or Lesbian womyn isn't publicly , it's
personally . Coming out to your
friends, your family . . Your workmates.
That 's where coming out
really counts. Morh writes in
Gays/Justice, "The main aim of gay
public education should be publicity -
and not by proxy. Coming out, singly
and in groups is still the most
D THE SECOND STONE
□ pre-trial hearing, Judge Daniel Futch
asked the prosecutor, "That's a crime
now, to beat up a homosexual?" The
judge later said he was kidding, but gay
rights groups throughout the country
failed to see the humor . Last year in
Dallas, Judge Jack Hampton admitted
in an interview with the Dallas Times
Herald that he had · given a convicted
murderer a light sentence because the
victim was homosexual.
The frightening implication of
remarks like these is that gay people
are fair game. If the Code .of Judicial
Conduct is revised to .include a ban
against judicial discrimination on the
basis of sexual orientation, judges will
be accountable and may think twice
before they fail to provide equal justice
under the ·1aw.
important thing a Gay person can do
politically ." Those people you
marched with, those people you went
to the rally or memorial service
with, they aren ' t the people who
need to be told you're Gay or Lesbian .
They aren't the ones who need to
know that "we .are everywhere ."
Let's stop preaching to the converted.
We can't really have pride without
dignity, and no matter how big our
parades become, how many people
attend our marches and rallies, until
every person feels that he or she can
say they are gay or lesbian without
threat to their jobs, their
friendships, their church membership,
their very lives, we still have
no pride to speak of . We put a
misguided emphasis on our sexuality
being a matter of privacy, therefore,
it's best if we don't exist, isn't it? Our
sexuality should not be a matter of
privacy but a matter of pride.
March, and be counted. (But
rememb .er, they always undercount
us.) More importantly, speak up and
out, as an i.ndividual. Make sui-e that
somehow, one way of another,
everyone finds out that they do,
really, know someone who is gay or
lesbian . Make sure, one way or
another, they know "we are
everywhere." Twenty years after
Stonewall we should be doing better
than one-fifth of this ccmntry having
a Gay or Lesbian acquaintance, don't
you think? Hug someone straight
today.
Jim Roche is a Unitarian Minister,
therapist and member of the.
American Association of Sex
Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
He is also a regular contribuior to Oμr
:Own Community Press.
Bays Undor Brm
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"Ravlval" Cassette Tape (Music)
Cassette Tape of Pentecostal Christian
Music. Includes: "Revival," "Almost
Home," "Jesus," "Will Soon Be Oone,"
"Gonna Be Gone," "Sound of His
Coming," & "The Rock" ... · ... $9.95
BaySpak
by James Chesebro, editor. Essays on
coming out, gay civil rights, the media
and homosexuality, lesbian
relationships, and a host of other
issues. 367 pages, papertiack. 19.95
Good N1W1 f11r Mod1m 61yl
by Rev. Sylvia Pennington. This is not
a theological treatise written to
theologians. It is one non-gay Christian
woman's .search for Truth ·and
Understanding, written simply and
easily for others who also seek truth on
this controversial subject. ~21 pages,
papertiack . .. ..... . . .. . .. . $8.00
Hamo11x111llty & El!IICI
by Edward Batchelor, Jr., Edito.r. A
collection of statements and opinions
by church leaders from different
viewpoints concerning the Church and
homosexuality. 261 pages,
papertiack. . . . .. $8.95
Rev.S yMaPffl ningion
HomomuIllty ind th, Conumtlv,
Cllrllllin
by Rev. L. Robert Arthur. A brief,
concise explanation of each of the
Biblical 'clobber passages· written from
the view of a conservative Christian.
Rev. Robert Arthur holdsa Master of
Arts degree in Bible·from Bob Jones
University in Greenville, South
Carolina. Recommended reading for
those struggling with what the Bible
says about the subject of
homosexuality. 13 pages,
papert,ack . ... . -. ....... . .. $2.50 .
Ex-Bay by Dr. Ralph Blair
Reviews and exposes the false hope of
the "ex-gay" movement as well as the
unreasonableness of enforced celibacy.
SO pages, pamphlet . .. , ... . . $4.39
61y/L11blu Llbmtlon/ A Biblical
Perspective
by George R. Edwards. This book
shows, on Biblical grounds, that
gay/lesbian liberation rightfully
belongs to the genre of liberation
theology, that the homophobic
reject ion of gay/lesbian persons by the
church and synagogue cannot claim
Biblical sanction. 153 pages.
papemack, .. ...... .. . .... 19.95
NEW RELEASE/
Ex- G ays? There ar e none.
by Rev . Sylvia Pennington. This
book is an examin a tion oY .gay
m inistr ies; What th ey do an d do
no t d o . It is tol d through the
positiv e testimoni es of many
women & men who have over
come thier lif elo n g st ru gg le
ab out being g a y and Chr ist ia n.
400 p ages, pa per . . . . $15.00
Wlllt Boll! Ey11 0111n
by Patricia Johnson & Janet
Kalven. ''The human species ...
has been driving down the highway
of life with one eye (the female)
held firmly closed," says Elizabeth
Dodson Gray . This · book
encourages a second look at
patriarchal Christian theology from
a more balanced perspective. 201
pages, paperback. , ... • . $10.95
Wo11111t of fllllt In Dlllt111111
by Virginia Ramey Mollenkott. In a
unique dialogue project sponsored
by the American Jewish
Committee. eighteen women of
fa ith • Protestant , Catholic ,
Jewish, and Muslim - discuss the
challenges that confront women in
the respective communities of
faith. 144 pgs, paperback. 19.95
Your MDMY or Your LIii
by John Alexander. This is a witty
and eloquent plea to Christians
who are concerned both for
themselves and the world to take
Jesus seriously, love God whoJly,
and live their faith passionately.
251 pages, hardbound . . • $14.45
lfDull Uk1 A IJJbl1
by Madelene L'Engle. Adventures in the
life of Poly· O'Keafe on her way to a
conference-in Cyprus. Polly realizes
that it is alright to have contradictory
feelings about somecne, and that on
the other side of pain there is still love.
308 pages. hardbound . ..... $13.95
H1maa1ial1 Ind 1111 BIiio
by Rev. Or. Nonnan Pittenger. An
overall look at homosexuality and the
Bible. Briefly approaches Scripture. 14
pages, pamphlet. .. . ... . ... $1.25
Qty --
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November /December 1989
AIDS, tl1t Splrttllll Dlllm .. .
by John E. Fortunato. This infonnative,
sensitive book is exactly what's needed
to answer the witches' brew ol
ignorance, prejudice, half-truths, and
whole lies evoked by the word AIDS.
Fortooato is a therapist to gay and
straight, to those dying of AIDS and
those by the grace of God more
fortunate. 156 pages,_ paper ... $7.95
Allf1, A Cl1hollc Cott for Comp1111Dn
by Bleen P. Flynn. Reacting to AIDS
with panic and hysteria is unchristian.
This book points the way beyond f,. r.
to reason and charitable concern . . 99
pages, paperback. . ........ 14.95
Bo!MlnTWll Sltdana ,
by James B. Nelson. A continuation of
his earlier work. "Embodiment," Nelson
explores human sexuality and the
Christian . experience. He asks the
question, "Whai does sexuality say
about faith?" 193 pages.
paperback . ............... H.95
llylnd 811 Rolla
by Gilbert Bilezikian. A guide for the
study of female roles in the Bible. This
is a first-rate Biblical-theological study
by a committed evangelical teacher
that affinns full equality of the sexes in
church and family. 300 pages,
papert,ack. .. .. .. . .. .. .. .. 19.95
But IJJnf T111y'11 Bay
by Sylvia Pennington. The story of a
journey for one non-gay . fervent,
evangelical Christian woman with a
mission to " Save .. and Change" the
homosexual. The struggles of becoming
accepting and supportive as God leads
her along his path. 171 pages,
papertiack . ......... .. .... 17.00
Chrl1t1anlty, s0,111 Tolonnco &
Homoaxi.allty
by Or. John Boswell. One of the most
extensive treatments on. the subject.
Challenges received opinions and
preconceptions about the Church's past
relationship to its gay members, among
Yt'hom were priests, and even bishops
and canonized saints. Well researched.
424 pages, papertiack . ..... SlZ.95
My Sao Erle
by Mary V. · Borhek. The story of a
mothers struggle of denial, realization,
and acceptance of her gay son. In the
process she discovers herself. 160
pages, papertiack. . . , ..... 17 .95
II
Newsbriefs
Telegram Hotline
Establis·hed To Fight
AIDS Discrimination
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans
who want to see the passage of the most
· far reaching federal legislation to
provide legal protection to people with
AIDS or those with HIV infection now
have a powerful lobbying mechanism
through the use of the telephone. ..
An ADA Hotline has been established
by a coalition of Disability and AIDS
activist groups to provide Congress
with a flood of telegrams in support of
the landmark Americans with ·
Disabilities Act of 1989. The CCD
(Consortium for Citizens with
Disabilities) is a coalition composed of
several dozen national organizations
providing services and advocacy for
persons with physical and emotional
disabilities. The CCD has been the
leading group advocating for the ADA
as it moves through Congress, As a
partner with CCD, NORA (National
Organizations Responding to AIDS) is
an additional coalition organized by
the AIDS Action Council that includes
the National Gay and. Lesbian Task
Force, the Human Rights Campaign
Fund, The National AIDS Network,
.The National Association of People
with AIDS, The National Minority
AIDS Council, The National AIDS
Interfaith Network and over -100 other
human service and professional
national · associations .
This strong civil rights bill will
ensure civil liberties to all persons with
physical as well as emotional
disabilities and will also protect the
estimated 1.5 millions Americans
infected with HIV, the virus ·
associated with AIDS. ADA passed
the Senate by a vote of 76 to 8 on
September '7th. President Bush has
publicly expressed his strohg support
· for the passage of the bill into law and
has confirmed his support for the HIV
protections in the bill .
The ADA Hotline is activated by an
individual calling 1-800-257-4900 and
requesting operator number -9565.
Hearing impaired callers can use TTD
number 1-800-541-1792. The operator
will ask the caller for their name,
address and phone number in order to
bill the $7.50 charge and to assign the
message · to that caller's congressional
representative. The caller need not
even know their own congressperson as
the message will be sent automatically
to Western Union. For the $7.50 charge,
three different, pre-recorded messages
will be sent to Congress on behalf of the
caller. Due to daily changes in the
status of the bill's progress through the
Congress, messages are written by the
Coalition to fit the changing status of
the bill. Callers will see their charge
A Presbyterian Promise
"We will work to increase the acceptance and
participation in the church of all persons regardless
of racial-ethnic origins, sex, class, age,
disability, marital status or sexual orientation"
~ 195th General Assembly (1983),
Atlanta, Georgia
If this is your promise, too,
we invite . you to join
Presbyterians for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns
Write to Elder James D. Anderson
PLGC, P.O. Box 38, New Brunswick-, NJ
08903-0038, 201/846-1510
on their next phone bill and may
requesta copy of the message from the
Hotline operator.
The Holtine lobbying technique has
been used by many advocacy groups in
Washington and has been shown over
the years to be an effective tool in the
effort to encourage members of Congress
to support certain bills. Organizers
hope to show Congress with the use of
the ADA Hotline that there are
fhousands of voters who enthusiastically
support this effort and
reall:i.e its historical importance.
Priest Denies
Sexual Allegations
Renegade Catholic priest George
Stallings, Jr. denied the allegations of
an unidentified 28 year old man who
told the Washingtqn Post that
Stallings regularly had sex with him
in 1977 in the church rectory. Stallings
had previously been suspended for
forming the Imani Temple in
Washington, D.C. in protest against
the church's lack of pastoral concern for
blacks and in defiance of church
hierarchy.
Stallings said, "I believe that this
charge is an accusation to divert
attention from my- mission ... to drive
racial insensitivity and racism out ·of
the Catholic Church.
Gay-Bashings Faked
SAN FRANCISCO - Rev. Lynn Griffis,
assistant pastor of a Metropolitan
Community Church in San Francisco,
resigned her position after is was
discovered that she filed false reports
of being a victim of gay -bashings in two
separate incidents this past summer.
The incidents received widespread
media attention and prompted Mayor
Art Agnos to offer a $10,000.00 reward
for the attacker's arrest. At pre 9s time,
Griffis had made no statement
regarding the false reports.
-Chicago OUTLINES
ELCA Defers Gay
Ordination Issue,
Passes AIDS Policy
Interim guidelines opposing ordination
of non-celibate gays were referred to
committee without discussion during
the first convention of the Evangelical
Lutheran Church in America and will
therefore not be acted upon until the
_next church-wide assembly. But the
Rev. Jim Lokken, a spokesperson for
pro-gay California congregations, says
that his church, St. Francis Lutheran in
San Francisco, will proceed with the
THE SECOND STONE
□ :
ordination of Jeff Johnson. (TSS,
Nov/Dec88)
Lutherans Concerned was present at
the ELCA convention, staffing a
literature table . and confronting
delegates with pro-gay bann~rs,
badges, posters and slogans.
In other action, the Assembly passed
in a near unanimous vote a strong policy
statement on the AIDS epidemic. The
resolution committed the church to the
inclusion of "all persons living with
·AIDS, their families, partners, and
friends" in "the life and worship of the
church" and dedicated the ELCA "to · ,
practical, pastoral, and emotional
support services through its
congrega lions, institutions and
agencies."
Bob Nelson, a delegate from. _the
Sierra Pacific Synod (Northern <'
California/ Northern Nevada) was one
of the authors of the resolution. "I was
amazed that no regional assembly had
memorialized a resolution on AIDS to
this one," he said, "In fact, the only
time AIDS was to be discussed was at
6:30 a.m. at a breakfast meeting. We
quickly got an ad-hoc group together
and drafted a resolution with some
teeth in it."
-Baltimore Aliernative and other
reports
Leonard Graff,
NGRA's Legal
Director, Departs
After Seven Years
SAN FRANCISCO - Leonard Graff,
National Gay Rights Advocates Legal
·rnrector since 1982, has announced that
he will be leaving the civil rights law
firm in December.
NGRA's Executive Di,ector Jean
O'Leary expressed her sadness at the
announcement and commended Graffs
long record of service and powerful
influence on NGRA and the gay and
lesbian community .
Under Graff's leadership, the legal
program of NGRA set a number of new
benchmarks: a landmark $3:2 million
settlement against Pacific Bell for
employment discrimination against
Gays and Lesbians, a California Court
of Appeal precedent that make AIDS
employment . discrimination illegal,
and a United States Supreme Court
victory establishing the First
Amendment rights of teachers to discuss
homosexuality, He has played an
important role in defining a powerful
agenda for gay civil rights in the
United States.
Newsbriefs
Resources Available
For Gay Couples
Gay and lesbian couples looking for
legal information, a couples support
group, or a way to win domestic
partnership benefits might start with a
free list of resources available from
"PAR1NERS: The Newsletter for Gay
& Lesbian Couples ." The annotated
directory, "Resources for Gay & Lesbian
Couples," is available in a newlyexpanded
edition that lists two dozen
social, political and support groups ,
and more than 40 books, videotapes and
films.
To receive a copy send a
self-addressed, stamped business size .
· envelope to: P AR1NERS resource list,
· Box 9685 , Seattle WA 98109.
Audio Tape Provides
Information On AIDS
AIDS Audio Update provides
monthly audio casssette tapes on issues
important to all persons living with
AIDS . and all others conc ~ d about
the disease. ''
Tapes are availabl e individually for
$10 .00 or by annual subscription (12
tap e s) for $99.00 from AIDS _Audio
Dpdate , P.O . Box 46 1370, Los Angeles ,
CA 90046 or toll-fr ee , 1-800-999-9559, -extension
A.
AIDS ' organiza t ions interested in
receivin g AIDS Audio Update or
participating in the production or
di stributi on of the series may contact
th e address list ed above or call
(21 3 )65.6-0860.
Gay Games
Torch Passed To
International Board
SAN FRANCISCO - San Fr ancisco Arts
and Athletics , ruling body of the Ga y
Games since their inception in 1982, has
passed the torch to its succeeding board
which will be known as The Federation
of Gay Games .
The Federation's primary function
will be "to foster and augment the
self-respect of gay women and men
throughout the world and to engender
understanding from the non-gay world
. through the medium of non competitivel
y oriented cultural and
athl e tic events promoted as 'The Gay
Games."' Following the dream of the
games ' founder, Tom Waddell, · the
Federation will continue to emphasize
inclusiv eness in all future Gay Games so
that all participants may exercise
their personal best, whether in sports
or the arts.
The new Federation's board is
. - --- ··-- - - -- - --- -
comprised of 40 Lesbians and Gays from
regional, national, and international
sporting, cultural and supportive
organizations who are dedicated to
ensuring the continued integrity of the
Gay Games.
While the _world anticipates GGIII
hosted by Canada next year, this new
council has already begun the task of
determining the focatiori. for GG IV in
1994 .
Organizations and individuals
desiring mo.re information about the
Federation should call (415)566-1015 or
write 584 Castro St., Suite 343, San
Francisco, CA 9411;1.
New Public Information
Director Named
At NGLTF
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Gay rights
activist and lO-year communications
professional Robert Bray has been
named public information director at
the National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force . Bray succe eds Urvashi Vaid ,
recently appointed NGLTF executive
dir ector.
Bray was communications director at
the Human Rights Campaign Fund ,
where he h e lped increase public ·
awaren e ss of that organization ' s
political programs and activities .
Bray was instrumental in generating
nation.al media atte!ltion around the
Circle K conv eni~nce store company ' s
d ecision last y ear to drop from its
h ealth plan p e ople with AIDS who
contracted th e disease from "personal
life-style" decisioi:s, The resultin g
e dito r ials , media debates and
demonstrations helped pressure the
company to reverse its · discriminatory
policy.
Lutheran AIDS
Hearings Signal
Greater Church
Involvement
OAKLAND, Cal. - Hearings have been
held by the Evangelical Lutheran
Church in America (ELCA) at which
people with AI0 Sr ·and AIDS experts
were asked to assist in creating church
policy . The results of these hearings
will be used by ELCA Church and
Socie ty Commission to formulate policy
proposals that will be submitted for
Church appro val.
A hearing in San Francisco includ e d
testimony from representative s of the
Mayor's Task Forc e on AIDS', the school
district, Bayview Hunter ' s Point
Foundation, hospital chaplins, . and
various groups involved in direct
service to peopl ~ with AIDS.
"We are simply continuing with the
tradition, as old as the Church itself,
of trying to respond with compassion to
all those in need," explained Michael
Pozar, Convenor of the Commission's
AIDS Task Force. "This action is
somewhat late in coming, but the need
is clear and the Church leaders ar e
very supportive ." .
Bishop Lyle Miller, who was
scheduled to be present for much of the
hearings, said , "We want to hear from
those who are personally engaged with
this tragic illness and not make policy
decisions i_n a vacuum."
Light From A
New Torch
· BOSTON - In June of 1990 a dance tour
called ""Light From A New Torch:
Dancing to Vancouver" will begin its
cross continent trip from Boston,
Massachusetts to Vancouver, Br.ilish
Columbia, the site of Celebration '90:
Gay Games III and Cultural Festival,
an. event expected to draw over 10,000
athletes and artists from ·around the
globe during the week of August 4 -11 .
The tour will be historic both in its
format and in its assemblage of gay and
le sbian dancers and choreographers
□ from diverse demographic and artistic
backgrounds · to share the cre o.' ive
process. As the tour proceeds from
Boston, dancers and choreography will
be add ed through improvisation and
collaboration to the tour's ''seed dari.ce"
which will be performed in each · city .
The "seed dance" will grow until it
becomes an evening concert for
preformances at the Cultural Festival
in Vancouver .
The theme of the "seed dance" is
relationships .- between people, ideas,
situations. "We, the choreographers
and dancers, wiH be exploring th e
communication, or lack there of, which
takes place in our lives," states tour
artistic director Jeffry Pike of Boston .
"The speed of communication systems
today brings about the potential to be
overwhelmed by the information
around us. People shut down and shut
out. Through it all, the basic
relationships between people must still
exist and be nurtured . We will examine
the need to not close off ourselves. "
The tour is still searching for dancers,
choreographers and presenters. Anyone
interested in inform a tion about or being
a part of Light From A New Torch can
write or call Jeff Pike, P . O . Box 515 -
Kenmor e Station, Boston, MA 02215 or
call (617) 876-7612 .
GAY GA1\1ES EDITION
The Lesbian and Gay
ALMANAC
and EVENTS of
Preserve the Past
Prepare for the Future
And Never Again Say ...
' If Only I'd Known .'
Only$9.95
Available at local bookstores
or send $9.95 plus $1.50
postage ($11.45) to:
ENVOY ENTERPRISES
740 N. Rush St. Suite 609
Chicago IL 60611
"A Stunning Achievement"
A 36-page Gay Games Section
detailing the history of the Garnes
and providing gold-winning scores
of Gay Garnes I & TI, plus a
preview of the 1990 Gay Games III
The Gay/Lesbian Yea r in Review
Arts & Entertainment. Books,
Health Issues, Laws & Legislation,
Organizations, Politics, Women's
Issues.-Filled with graphs & charts!
Event of' the Year
Stonewall 20: A Generation of
Pride, honors the 1989 Gay/Lesbian
Pride Celebration and provides a
host of facts and statistics about
gays and lesbians, their lifestyles,
and how attitudes have changed in
the 20 years since the modern gay
rights movement began.
Events orl990
Almost 500 upcoming gay/lesbian
events, including rodeos, concerts,
cruises, conventions, sports events,
religious gatherings, women's niusic
festivals, tours and trips, conferences
and meetings, social extravaganzas,
plus much more.
November/December 1989 a
News briefs
NGL TF Challenges
Dannemeyer On
Federal Youth
Suicide Report
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a letter
delivered to Preside _nl Bush, the
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
sharply challenged an attempt by
Congressman William Dann emeyer
(R-CA) to persuade the White House to
repudiate sections of a Department of
Health and Human Services report
that addressed lesbian an d gay youth
suicide issues.
In a September 7 letter to President
Bush regarding the Report of the
Secretary's Task Force on Youth
Sukide, Rep. Dannemeyei asked the
President to "affirm traditional · family
values by denouncing the portion of the
report that deals with
homosexuality." Dannemeyer stated in
his letter to the President that he h ad
previously asked . Dr. James Mason,
Assistant Secretary of HHS, to
denounce aspects of the report dealing
with homosexuality. Wrote
Dannemeyer, "I suggested to Dr. Mason
th at he will need to decide whether he
will side with . traditional family ·
values or the Na ti ona l Gay and
Lesbian Task Force."
Rep. Dannemeyer also sta ted that the
HHS report and "pub lic school
programs such as Project 10 in the Los
Angeles Unified School District simp ly
add legitim acy to the heretofore crime
of child molestation."
Responding to Dannemeyer's letter,
NGL TF's Urvashi Vaid wrote to
President Bush, urging him to place
"moral leadership" over "prejudice and
moral posturing," and to vigorously
implement the recommendations of .the
report.
Sixth International
Conference On AIDS
Seeks Community
Recommendations
SAN FRANCISCO - Seeking to assure
that community needs for in formation
on the developing science of AIDS are
(i "[IS articles are often compellingly
wn·uen and thoughtprr;,
vok ing . as a magll.zine
handling difficult subj ect matter.
Open Hands is to be co mmended
for its results. ·•
-judges' comments from
Reconciling Ministries with
Lesbians & Gay Men
Associated Chureh Press 1988
Award of Merit Program
Open Hands , the only national Christian magazine focussing on the concerns of
lesbians and gay men, is now in .its fifth year of publication·. Each issue of Open
Hands addresses a particular concern of gay/lesbian Christians with:
• feature articles by national/local church leaders
• ideas for congregational ministries
• worship and spiritual growth resources
• news from Reconciling Congregations and other ministries with lesbians and
gay men.
Annual subscription {four issues)-$16
BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE,
"Be Yf. Reconc·iled" (Summer 19851
"A Matter or Justice"' (Winter 19861
"Our Families .. (Spring 19861
"Our Churches· Policies" /Summer 198(>1
"Images of Healing .. (Fall 19861
"Homophobia and the Church" (Winter 19811
' "Minorities within a Minority'' (Spring 19811
"An Emerging Community" !Summer 1981)
Single issue-$5
"Sexual Violence" !Fall 198i)
"Sexualit y and Spirituality" !Winter 1988 1
"Building Reconciling Ministries·· (Spring 198.HJ
"Living and Loving with AIDS" (Summer (9881
"Raising Reconciling Children" (Fall 1988)
"Sexual Ethics" (Winter 1989)
.. Called to Create .. !Spring 19891
__ Please send me a one-year subscription to Open Han.ds @ $16.
__ Please send me a copy of each of the back issues marked above.
0 Enclosed is my payment oI $ __ _ . _ . D Please bill me.
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Open Hands • P.O. Box 23636 • Washington, O;C. 20026
PubUshed by Affirmation: United. Methodists for ~bian / Ga)' Conceflls
met, and to assure express ion of a public
policy agenda responsive to the needs
of HIV infected people, the · Sixth
International Confenence on AIDS has
embarked on an unprecedented community
outreach program. With this
program, conference organizers hope to ·
include peop le with HlV infection,
Lesbians and Gay men, women, people
of color, people of the third world ,
AIDS service providers and activist
organizations in the planning process of
the meeting. The Conference, attended
by over 12,000 AIDS researchers and
service providers from · throughout the
world , will be held in San Francisco
from June 20 to 24, 1990.
The th eme of the Sixth h:,ternational
Conference on AIDS is "AIDS in the ·
Nineties: From Science to Public
Policy." Conference .orga ni zers are
working to design a program that
emphasizes presentation of the highest .
quality science on AIDS, considers the
implications of scientific advances on
AIDS for public policy, and closely
examines the compl e x interface
between science and political activism
as they relate to AIDS.
Recognizing the imp ortance of
community input from throughout the
world, th e Conference has mailed
Community Outreach Surveys to 1,100
AIDS organizations internationally.
□ A lr ead y, the Conference has played
an important ro le working with
scientists and activists to crea te a more
en lightened public policy on AIDS. In
April of this year, the United States
Immigration and Naturalization
Service enforced its restriction on ent ry
by HIV infected travelers by detaining
Hans Paul Verhoef, a Dutch citizen.
Conference organizers and community
groups joined in an effort to move the
federal government to change this
medically unjustified policy. The
resulting campaign brought medical
experts and the political community
together to call on Washington for
change, and led to a major shift in INS
re gula tions. HIV infected travelers to
the United States may now obtain 30
day waiyers to enter the United States
for four purposes: visiting relatives,
seeking medical treatment, conducting
business, and attending conferences.
The Sixth Internat ional has continued
to press for a further broadening of this
policy to include HIV infected tourists.
It has protested .two incidents in which
it appeared the new policy was not
bein g properly carried out. And on
August 1, a letter from the INS
provided furth.ur assurances that the
new regulations will be cons isten tly
and, in some cases, flexibly
administered.
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this much of
your advertising
dollar to reach a
Second Stone
reader!
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... and in many foreign countries '" .
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II THE SECOND STONE
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Cover Story . ·
An Ex-Gay's Story
"No Desire To
By Robert Mcknight
Contributing Writer
Some ex-gays who say
their sexual conversion is
only one part of a broader
religious conversion show a
tendency to .witness that
change similar to
straight people who undergo
a borncagain experience
and turn evangelical.
The following is one
conversion account, tha.t of
John Smid, a counselor at
California-based Love in
Action ex-gay ministry.
Smid, once married and
with two children, turned
to gay life when he was 24.
"I was ecstatic. I decided
it was the missing piece t6
the puzzle of my life,"
Smid said . "I was in a place
I could talk freely about my
sexual desires. I found a
group of men I could talk to
about my feelings -- where
men were open, caring and
concerned."
He left behind the wife
and family he started five
years before, at age 19. He
said marriage was more
than anything else a way
to escape. He didn't do
anything separate from his
wife. He built his life
COVER
STORY
From Pagel
Penningion's latest book,
Ex-Gays: There Are None,
was published in August.
Gays may spend years
in counseling determined to
slough off what they feel
are unhealthy or immoral
desires, Pennington said.
They may force themselves
to repress homosexual tendencies
by selecting a career ·
not normally compatible
with a ' gay lifestyle. They
may choose heterosexual
marriage, she said.
No amount of counseling,
or the change ministries,
ultimately offer Gay men or
Lesbians desired resu It, she
entirely around her.
"I was very hungry for
friendship," he said.
His upbringing was
Nebraska mid-western, and
that's where he continued
to make his home. He
eventually met a gay man
and life started to change . .
"I felt I could relate to
him in many ways. I felt
that was it, what I'd been
looking for all my life;"
Smid said -- even though
his sexual experience with
this man ended after their
first encounter. But he met
others.
One was a 35-year-old
who had been living gay
for a number of years, Smid
said. He told Smid that
Gays just don't settle into
spousal relationships with
other men, so he might as ·
well not pursue the idea.
Smid said he rebelled
against that advice and
began what he called a
determined effort to start a
monogamous relationship
and make it work.
He consistently failed.
His partners couldn't
adhere to that standard.
Eventually, Smid said even
he couldn't.
said.
"They're still as gay as
ever. In truth', if a homosexual
never again sleeps
with another homosexual,
they're still gay,"
Pennington said.
Pennington was raised in
the Assembly of God . and,
as a change minister, counseled
reluctant homosexuals
from 1963 to 1968.
After she left that
vocation, Pennington says
she took another 10 ye-ars to
swing around to her current
beliefs: that sexuality is
not a. matter of choice and
that Gays can be beloved of
God as much as straights.
And that people who think
they can change .their
sexuality are as doomed to
disappointment as people
who think they c~n change
Go Back"
"I rationalized that by
saying that since this
relationship isn't working,
it's OK because I'm looking
for someone to settle with.
As long as I was looking for
someone, it was OK," he
said.
One of his lovers had a
sister whom Smid said was
Christian. His first reaction
was mocking. Later, he
met another woman who
was Christian.
"I was very
hungry for
friendship."
"She really believed in a
God who wants us to enjoy
our lives. I just hadn't
iho ·ught that enjoyment
could be God-ordained.
Eventually, she invited me
to her church. The people
were joyful and really
excited about being there,"
Smid said.
• "Those feelings didn't
quite go along with my
lifestyle. I hadn't ever been
the color of their eyes, .she
said.
Change Ministries
Say It Is Possible
The basic change
ministry claim, on the
other hand, is that sexual
conversion can be genuine
because people really do
have a choice. The belief is
based on church notions of
free will and selfdetermination.
The Spring, 1989 issue of
The Exodus Standard
includes an article by Jack
Hickey on Tony Campolo
and Campolo's book, 20 Hot
Potatoes Christians Are
Afraid To Touch. The
Standard is published by
Exodu ·s International, an
umbrella group for convertold
that homosexuality
was wrong. I just had a
feeling that things weren't
mixing right ."
Then came a crucial time,
a moment of realization
Smid said reminds him of
the Biblic~l episode when
the enlightened Adam and
Eve first realize their
nakedness.
"I went to revival with
my lover's sister. By this
time I'd had several
relationships that were
really painful. I had a
sense the Lord said, 'Then
you just don 't have to feel
like .that anymore.'
"I know it changed my
heart. I was never
embarrassed about my gay
experience'. Everyone close
to . me knew I was .
homosexual. For the first
time the next day I felt an
embarrassment.
"All of a sudden I was
aware of my sin," Smid
· said.
From that point on, there
was a constant awareness
that homosexuality alienated
Smid in subtle and
sometimes blatant ways
· from other important facets
of his life. Y ~t he was not
sion ministries.
In his chapter on
homosexuality, Campolo
writes, "More and more
research suggests that in a
great number of cases, if not
in an overwhelming majority,
homosexual orientation
is inborn."
Hickey's change ministry
response is simple.
"His (Campolo's)
chapter on homosexuality
has sent shock waves
through ex-gay ministries
across the country. How
could this man, who many
of tis respect as a Christian
leader, come to this
conclusion?" Hickey asks.
Hickey later remarks
that Campcilo's assertion
gave him "deep concern."
The free choice was
available to him, said
November /December 1989
□
ready to give it up.
"For the next two years,
my relational struggles just
got worse and worse and
worse. I met one guy, and
from the moment we met we
really took to one another.
He was a Christian, raised ·
· in a pastor's house. I
thought the answer was to
have a Christian lover."
That didn't work.
Neither did an alternative
he tried pursuing at the
same time.
"About two years later I
said do not want this
anymore. It's just been a
disaster . I'm just sick of it. I
left my last lover. I joined
my church's single group,"
Smid said .
· Members did not know he
was gay, since he had
started hiding that two
years before, when
homosexuality had started
being an embarrassment.
"The men in the group
were emotionally · charged
and interested. , They
hugged, they prayed. All
that I had really looked
for, 1 could have without
sex. I · didn't have any
desire to go back," Smid
said.
Kevin Oshiro, a convert of
the Love in Action ministry
in San Rafael, Calif., and
now himself a counselor for
the ministry.
"I've come out of the
lifestyle myself. You have
· to believe that · Jesus can
change you and wants to
change you, if you submit
yourself to his Lordship,"
said Oshiro.
Similar testimonials are
easy to find. The ministry
answered a request for more
information with several
items titled "Testimony of
the Month," where converts
recount their change
experiences.
"My parents warned my
younger sister and I (sic)
about the dangers of men,
SEE COVER STORY, Page 11
a
-------.,----.,...,..,.,..,~::--~;:,,--,:-----------------~-------~.,--.,----------- -,
Celebrating the lives of our
friends and their accomplishments
is a way of .
paying reverence to their
memories, and it was such
devotion that led Mark
Barker into my life. By an
almost uncanny set of
circumstances we first
came to know each other
through our correspondence;
he had written to
_ me many times with
unbridled enthusiasm
about a legacy of unusual
art he had inherited from
his friend Robert Leone.
IT WASON A WARM.HUMID
evening last June that Mark and I
first met face-to-face, and we both
looked forward to sharing some time
to discuss Mark's plan for celebrating
the life of his friend . The balcony
doors to his hotel room were thrown
open, letting damp breezes rustle the
curtains. Beautiful bird song was our
background "music" as a .flood of
memories returned to Mark .
"Theirs was a friendship that had
developed and grown during the
wild, restless days of the 1970s, when
we all innocently could never have
imagined that one day a disease
would be devastating our community
... taking so many people we love.
Prior to this, Robert Leone had grown .
up in a traditional Catholic family,
typically serving as an altar boy, and
attending parochial schools. His
early years were emeshed in his
faith, and this spiritual aspect of his
life carried over into his later years,
finding expression in a number of
ways, most notably his art.
At times I could read .the emotion in
Mark's eyes as he discussed their
years of deep friendship, and their
years of work to establish a health
club in Los Angeles. Both were proud
of their eventual _success, much of it
-due to Robert's magnetic personality.
Even though Robert became a successful
businessman, he still consid-
From A Sincere Eye
Art Inspired By
The Light Within
BY MICHAEL BLANKENSHIP
ARTIST ROBERT LEONE'S "INFINITE ACQUAINTANCE"
(Original in color; copyright 1988 by · The Paintings' Co .)
ered himself foremost to be an artist.
He thought of his art, which had
come naturally to him, as a Godgiven
talent, and just as God gives
new spiritual birth to believers so
that we may be called "God's
Ghildren", so also Robert considered
his paintings to be his "children,"
having given birth to them from his
own soul and imagination. His
commitment to his talent never
ceased, and each finished work was a
cherished possession , a gift from God.
I HAD ANXIOUSLY AWAITED
seeing examples of Robert's work ; and
when Mark brought out the photographs
I knew instantly that the art
work was a reflection of Robert's own
personality, both magnetic and
spiritual. It has a mysterious
ethereal qua]ity, and reGurring
symbols of his faith are present in
many works.
There is no set way of defining
Robert's works. I'm sure twenty
people would have twenty different
interpretations, and all the perceptions
would be accurate, but I know
that all would find universal
spiritual qualities. The art truly has
unlimited appeal.
Most of his figures are androgynous
beings which of course is a spiritual
way of viewing people in general
(''There is neither male nor female,
for we are all one in Chirst." Gal.
3:28.)
As I looked at the colorful works
certain things stood out in my mind.
In one,God is depicted as a supernatural
being larger than the planets
and yet blending with the universe
(''The heavens declare the glory of
God, and the firmament shows God's
handywork " Ps. 19:1.) A halo
encompasses the head, and the eyes
are stem yet understanding. In
THE SECOND STONE
another work a partial face is
disolving into a halo, perhaps
illustrating Robert's own blending
with the spiritual world.
In several of the works rays of
lights, like lazers , are projecting from
the eyes of the portraits ("The light
of the body is the eye, if therefor e
your eye is sincere, your whole body
shall be full of light." Matt . 6:22.) In
another a golden lily is growing
within the head (mind?) of the
figure, and a cross is seen in the
background. Several times a trinity
- is portrayed, once with hearts on ·
either side, in another entitled The
Realization of Harmony the haloed
trinity is emerging from a beautiful ·
blue (lotus?) blossum. Below, single
female and male figures , perhaps
angelic beings in ancient apparel, are
represented supporting these symbols
of holiness and purity. In another of
these fascinating pieces a large cross
with the head of Christ at it's center is
part of a seemingly transparent
head, while irridescent teardrops
fall into a cloudy landscape where
planets grow and bloom on stalks
with leaves.
UNDENIABLY THE MOST
impressive work, at least from the
Christian perspective, is the
beautiful face of Christ entitled
Infinite Acquaintance. As in all of
Robert's portraits, the eyes are the
central focus of the art. In this
instance, the eyes at first glance
appear to be angry ; a feeling
enhanced by the red aura around the
figure, but closer examination reveals
a look of total compassion .. Christ
looking with love and authority on
his people. The royal purple
background only enhances the beauty
of this piece, and amazingly the
combination of red and purple fit
together perfectly.
Michael Blankenship is a freelance
writer from Roanoke, Virginia. His
work has recently appeared in The
Advocate.
For information on prints of Robert
Leone's art write to The Paintings
Co., 2519 Griffith Park Blvd., Los
Angeles, CA 90039. -
~esbian & Gay Male Couples Meet Differently
Lesbian couples are likely ·to meet
tinder different circumstances than
those common for gay-male couples,
,ccording to preliminary results from
1 survey of same-sex couples. Lesbian
:ouples most often met through
friends or at work, while male
:ouples met at bars more often than
my other way.
selected preliminary results based on
812 respondents , representing 390
lesbian couples and 273 gay male
couples . The su rvey drew about 1600 ·
responses in all.
introduc tion s, were responsible for
the meetings of 28 percent of the ·
lesbian couples and 19 percent of the
men.
l /2 years or less; half the men had
been together 5 years or less.
More than one in five of th e le sbian
couples met at work, but fewer th an
five percent of the men did. -
The survey is directed by Stevie
Bryant and Demian, who hope to
publish the results .
The "how they met" question was
1mong more than a hundred put to
;ame-sex couples in a national study
~ndertaken last year by Partners: The
\Jewsletter for · Gay and Lesbian
:ouples. The publication has issued
While 24 percent of the men met in a
bar, the venue is becoming less
prominent as a meeting spot. The
new er the relationship, the more
likely the couple had met at a social
event instead.
Friends, an encluring source of
Despite the youth of the
respondents - averaging 35 years for
women, 37 years for men - Lesbians
had been together an average of 5 1 / 4
years and Gay men averaged 7 1/2
years .
Whi le. several couples had been
together longer than 40 years, many
of the relationships were only
recently started. Half .of all the
women surveyed had been together 3
"When data entry is complete, we
will be able to draw an up-to-date
picture of the families being created
by gay and lesbian couples," says
Demian.
To receive a summary of final
results, when available, send a
stamped, self-addressed business
envelope to PartI)ers Survey Resuits,
Box 9685, Seattle, .WA 98109.
COVER StORY, From Page 9
especially strangers. The
message I heard was, 'Don't
trust men. You'll only get
hurt,"' writes a woman
who says she grew b eyo nd
lesbianism.
After a period of
desper ation, then religious
conversion, th e woman
writes, "I knew I couldn't go
back to my lover. My
lesbianism just didn't fit in
with my new relationship
with God,:' she writes.
How They Change
About 25 percent of the
gay Christian population
at any one time is so vexed
by what has become for
them a painful sexual
dilemma that they seek
help from a change
ministry, Penningto ·n said :
Many are associated
with Exodus International.
As of July 1989, Exodus
claimed 40 "referral
agencies." These agen ci es,
Exodus claims among other
things, have existed for at
least two years, have a
board or governing body
· which can change · the
group's le;,dership, and
have directors who have
not engaged in homosexual
behavior for at least two
years.
They have names like
Exile Ministries, Hyperniken
Ministries (hyperniken
is Greek for 'conquer')
-and Freedom at Last.
In addition, Exodus counts
22 "affiliate agencies,"
which meet less stringent
standards than the referral
agencies.
Though groups work
differently, the basic
program puts an individual
within a support network of
others trying to escape
homosexuality and of counselors.
Most don't charge
anything, though they
suppport themselves partly
with sales of books and
cassette tapes , Pennin gto n
said. Members spend about
10 hours a week going to
church services and
counseling, but much more of
their time is spent
reassuring one another.
"Mainly it's a program of
prayer. They don't do
anything reall y different.
They study the issues all
people do. There is a
healthy aspect to it ,"
Pennington said.
Counselors know some
gay Christians resent ·their
ministries, said John Smid,
director of Love in Action's
· house ministries program.
Those who demand the
freedom to live gay should
grant the freedom not to, he
said.
"! know from the Bible
that homosexuality is not
the best that God has to
offer . But so many Gays are
willing to say, 'This is the
best I can have. This is the
best I can do.' Are we
willing to say, 'Whatever ·
it takes, Lord, I want your
best?'
"Are we willing to give
up halfway through the
race? I believe anyone can
leave homosexuality behind
if they want to . • Are
there some who can't
change? No. But there are
many who won't. Not
everybody's going to want
to change," Smid said.
A Therapist's
Opinion
Sex therapist Dr. Mark
Schwartz said some are
willing to change and some
have, though he doesn't
make it his business to
direct change.
"When someone comes in
unhappy with homose
xuality, they could
· become happy with it, or
b ecome more .-at. ease with
heter .osexuali ty.
"In truth, if a
homosexual
never aga~n
with sleeps
anothe r
homosexua C
they're
still gay."
"I don 't feel any need or
prejudice to help you
become heterosexual. If
people (originally discontent
with homosexuality)
later find
themselves con tent with
homosexuality , I would not
term that a failure.
"I try to show there are
many alternatives and
choices," Dr . Schwartz
said.
He said he had little
knowledge of church affiliated
change ministries,
though some of his clients
were vetemns of those
programs. Nor was he
particularly critical of
their apptoach.
"Psychotherapy and
r eligion are not that far
apart . They're both ways
of changing people's
behavior," he said. ·
But dysfunctional
behavior is almost always
rooted in the same causes,
whether the person is ·
straight or . gay, Dr.
Schwartz said.
"If you have a problem
wit h intimacy, you'll have
it with a man or a woman.
P eo ple tend to blame the
problem on thei r object
choice. They think the
issue -is homosexuality and
the issue is really intimacy
and commitment," he said.
Smid said he learned to
set aside homosexuality
when he learned how to
have good same-sex friendships.
·· He said he learned to
acknowledge the need for
good male friends. At the
same time, he learned he ·
could do that without
having sex.
. And as for sex:
"I know it's there and
available . But relational
addiction was my biggest
weakness," Smid said .
He said he doesn't stiffer
from that anymore.
Change --
Where The Heart
Js?
The change, Smid said, is
not simply or even mainly a
change in the way he
responds to men and women.
It involves a total change
in the self and its response
to God. Conversion goes
b~yond sexual conversion -
it's a total conversion of the
November /December 1989
heart, the same as any
born-again experience.
· The born -again conversion
experience is key and also
helps explain why change
ministries are almost spley
the province of fundamental
is{, born-again
churches, Pennington said.
She said she is not aware of
any serious . effort by the
Catholic Church to
develop any change
programs.
The possibility for
change is not fully
acknowledged by Ca tholics,"
writes Dr. Joseph
Nicolosi in The Exodus
Standard. Nicolosi is
director of the Thomas
Aquinas Psychological
Institute in Encino, Calif.
"! don't know of any
ex -g ay ministries that
aren't supported by fundamentalists,
" Pennington
said .
And the emphasis 6n
conversion gives the newer
change ministries a positive
aspect, Pennington
said.
"They're talking much
more about the redemptive
aspect," she said, rather
than talking just about
sexuality. Conver .ts attest
that their new .sexuality is
just one part of a new
identity Jesus gives them .
But, she said, they still
haven 't gotten past a notion
that sexuality is a
make-or-break .factor when
the issue is salvation.
"Their theology is
screwed up because they
say sexuality is what saves
you or condemns you. Only
the blood of Jesus Christ can
qo that," she said.
m
Church & Organization News
· Church Celebrates
18th Anniversary
River City MCC of Sacramento,
California; pastored by Rev. ·Elder
Freda Smith, has . celebrated its 18th
anniversary with a week long schedule
of worship and festivities .- Rev. Troy
Perry, Moderator _for the Board of
Elders of the UFMCC was scheduled to
attend . "This is a momentous and
historical occasion for our church, " said
Rev . Elder Smith .
-The Latest Issue
Financial Crisis At
MCC/Los Angeles
LOS ANGELES - The Metropolitan
Community Church of Los Angeles is
reportedly facing a financial crisis
which could end its service for babies
A
friend
for the
journey.
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Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182
with AIDS and also i-esult'in a loss of
facilities for Samaritan College. Rev.
Elder Nancy Wilson, pastor of the
church and member of the Board of
Elders of the Universal Fellowship of
Metropolitan Community Churches, is
leading a drive to raise $400,000.00 for
the Los Angeles church, which is the
birthplace of the lJFMCC. Contact
MCC/LA, 5879 West Washington
Blvd., Culver City, CA 90232.
Dignity/USA Has
New President
Pat Roche of Dignity /Seattle has been
elected to succeed Jim Bussen as
president of Dignity/USA. The group
celebrated its 20th anniversary over
the Labor Day weekend during its
national convention in San Francisco.
Over 600 people attended. The
convention made progress in the area of
removing ambiguity from Dignity's
statement of position and purpose
concerning se xual relations and
approved a sexual ethics document
which local chapters had been working
on for more than two years. ·
Mennonite And
Brethren Lesbians
Meet For
Historic Retreat
Fifty Brethren and Mennonite lesbian, •
bisexual and supportive women recently
gathered for a historic retreat . . It was
the first time that Brethren and
Mennonite Lesbians had ever rriet
formally as their own group for support
and discussion. Women of diverse ages,
races, sexual preferences and experiences
enjoyed formal and informal
times of sharing.
The highlight of the retreat was the
sense of community and belonging that
grew out of being with Lesbians from
the same religious tradition. Many
women felt that sexuality and
spirituality, two integral aspects of
their Jives, have been polarized. Th ey
have not experienced the church as a
hospitable place but do not generally
find support and com,monality in the
secular lesbian community either.
Participants affirmed the need -to unite
the different pieces of their lives and
found that being with other Mennonite
and Brethren Lesbians was a powerful
and meaningful way to make the
connection . A common comment
throughout the weekend was, "This
retreat is like church to me ."
Discussion also focused · on how
Mennonite and Brethren Lesbians want
to relate to the larger church. Some
thought it important to com1I1unicate
their concerns to the broader Mennonite
m THE SECOND STONE
□ and Brethren communities. Others
were not interested in formal dialogue
with the church but did want to
maintain ties with other women from
their faith heritage.
For information on future activities
write to the Brethren/Mennonite '
Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns,
Box 65724, Washington, D.C. 20035. ·
Five Dignity Chapters·
Affected By Action Of
California Bishops
Archbishop Roger M. Mahony of Los
Angeles and twelve bishops of dioceses
in Southern Ca'lifornia have
prohibited priests from celebrating
Masses sponsored . by Dignity chapters ·
in the Province of Los Angeles. The
provincial area is larger than the Los
Angeles Archdiocese and also includes
the diocei1E!S of Orange, Sa n Bernardino,
San Diego, Fresno and Monterrey. · The
decision affects five chapters in
Dignity Region IX: Los Angeles/
Westside, Long Beach; San bi ego, and
San Gabriel Valley.
The statement initiated by Mahony
said their action stemmed from
Dignity's repudiation of the Church's
"clear and con.slant moral teaching"
against homos exua l acts, according to a
story appearing in the Los Angeles
Times. ·
The recent dir ecth,e follows Mahony's
earlier edict not to allow Masses to be
held · on property owned by the
archdiocese,. an action also .taken by
' other U.S. bishops. In his letter to the
diocesan and religious order priests of
the dioceses included in the Los Angeles
Provinciafate, he advised them of the
ban and stressed that the bishops "had
no other choice" but to institute the
order against celebration of Masses fo;,
the organization in any setting or for
any reason.
What made his move all the more
unexpected, at least at this time, is
that members of Dignity chapters in
the Los Angeles archdiocese and other .
diocesan officials had been meeting
recently in ongoing q.ialogue . The
archbishop 'had assured them that he
would try to take no action until after 1
the groups national convention in San ,
Francisco since he was aware that the
Los Angeles chapters were dialoging
with other chapters in Region IX. .
All area chapters continue to sponsor .
regular functions. Jack Stafford,
president . of Dignity /Los Angeles
reported that he was even greatly
encouraged when another chapter
member noted that the action of the ,
archbishop has liberated the group and
they no longer have to live with false ,
hopes and expectations.
-Dignity/USA Newslette~
Calendar
,The following announcements have been
submitted by sponsoring or affiliated
groups.
NAEYC
Annual Meeting
NOVEMBER 2, The Gay and Lesbian
caucus of the National Association for
the Education of Young Children will
hold its annual meeting . The Westin
·Peachtree Plaza in Atlanta, Georgia is
the setting.
For the past five years the cauc us has
served as a networking forum for
lesbian and gay members of NAEYC
and their friends . In 1988 the N AEYC
addecj "sexual orientation" to its
previou sly establish ed nondiscrimination
policy after the 1987 caucus
urged the govern ing board to consider
such a m6ve.
Steve Shuman of Boston, Mass ., is 1989
caucus chair. Persons wishing more
information or who may be interested in
contributing to the agenda may contact
him at 520 Commonwealth Ave., #416,
Boston, MA 02215, (617)266-7439, or
may check with him at the hotel
during the conference . The me e ting
begins at 7:00 p.m . The caucus is open to
anyone.
"Revival"
Musical Ministry
NOVEMBER 5, Christ Chapel of Long
Beach ,NOVEMBER 10-12, Christ
Chapel of the Desert, Palm Springs,
and NOVEMBER 17-19, Living
·communion , Portland: After two and a
half years at Community Gospel
Church in Houston, "Revival " is
gearing up for a full time mini stry.
Settlement Ends
AIDS Bias Case
SAN ' FRANCISCO - National Gay
Rights Advocates has won a settlement
in the · amount of $62,746.38 against
Raytheon Company for ' AIDS
discrimination . The settlement follows
a landmark ruling on July 7 by the
California Court of Appeal making
employment discrimination against
people with AIDS ill ega l in
California.
Ignoring the ad vice of its own doctors,
Raytheon refus ed to allow John
Ch adbourne, a quality control an alys t,
to return to work after lea rning he had
AIDS in 1983. Chadbourne died of
AIDS-related complications in 1985.
"Revival " is a unique ministry team
including a trio specializing in
"South ern Gospel" music. They have
prod¼lced two tapes and will soon start
on a third to~ released in January.
For informa tion on this musical group , .
their appearances or ·tapes, write to
Revival, P.O . Box 7357, Houston, TX
77248-7357.
NGLTF
Creating Change
NOVEMBER 9-12, Th e National Gay
& Lesbian Task Force's Creating
Change conference for grassroots
activists and gay and lesbian organizations
w ill feature keynote addr esses
by Perry Watkins, Vito Russo and
Suzanne Pharr. Activities include a
demonstration calling for an end to
discrimination against Gay men and
Lesbians in th e m ilitary and a
day-long in stit ut e on fund raising. Over
400 activists from all over the country
are expec ted to attend . The Holiday
Inn, Bethesda , is the location.
Workshops will b e int erpreted for the
hearing impaired and the facility is
wheelchair accessible. Fees for the
Fundraising Institute range from $75.00
- $125.00 and for the conference itself,
$50.00- $125.00. Contact NGLTF
Creating _Change, 1517 U Street NW,
· Washington, DC 20009.
Ministering To The
Lesbian and Gay
Community
NOVEMBER 10, The Hawaii Council
of Churches offers a worksho p for
cle rgy only. Forum leader will be Chris
Glaser, author of Unc ommit\g Calling,
A Gay Man's Strugg le to Serve the
Church. For information write to
Hawaii Council of Churche s, 1300
Kailua Road, Room B-1, Kailua, HI
96734.
· Casa de Cristo
Weekend Seminars·
NOVEMBER 17 & 18, "How To Give
Away Your Faith" JANUARY 26 & 27,
"Christian Relationship Encounter"
· and MARCH 30 & 31, "Women and St.
Paul." This dynamic church in Phoenix,
Arizona offers weekend education and
inspira tion opportuniti ,es. For
information contact Casa de .Cristo
Evangelical Church, 1029 East Tumey ,
Phoenix, AZ 85014 or call
(602)265-2831.
Damien·
Ministries
PWA Retreats
NOVEMBER 13-16, Chicago, II.,
DECEMBER 11-14, Annapolis, Md.,
Damien Ministries, a community of
Catholic men and women, both lay and
religious, sponsors·retreats for People
With AIDS . Each retreat is free •to
· PW As, their care partners, significant
others, families and friends. PW As
who apply early are eligible to have
their travel expe nses paid in ful l.·
Contatt Damien Ministries, P.O. Box
10202, Washington, D.C. 20018 or call
(202)387-2926.
The Book and
Beyond ...
John McNeil!
DECEMBER 10-11, The Stony Point
Center hosts the author of Taking a
Chance on God. "The Book and
Beyond" is an opportunity for readers to
meet authors in a conversational
setting. For information contact Tylka
Vetula, Stony Point Center, Stony
Point, NY 10980 or call (914) 786-5674.
A Nite To Unite
For The 90's
FEBRUARY 20, 1990, The Delaware
Lesbian and Ga y Health Advocates
AIDS Committe presents :B,oberta Flack
in concert at the Grand Op era House,
8:00 p.rn. Also featured will be The
Nylons and D_.C.'s rock-acappella
group, Betty, in this concert to benefit
AIDS programs. Ticket information is
available through the Grand Opera
House Box Office, (302)652-5577 or by
calling DLGHA, (302)652-6776.
Women's
Thanksgiving Cruise
□
NOVEMBER 17-24, l22!l, Robin Tyler
Productions presents a seven night
women's Thanksgiving cruise to the
Mexican Riviera on the SS Bermuda
Star , a magnificent lu xury vessel that
has all the spaciousness and ambiance
of the classic era cruise ships. Join ov.er
800 ot,her women from all over the
world on the high seas on a cruise from
San Diego .to Cabo San Lucas, Puerto
Vallarta and Mazatlan. For furthur
information, write to Robin Tyler
Productions, 15842 Chase St.,
Sepulveda, CA 91343 or call
1-818-893-4075.
Robin Tyler is now producing two of ·
the major women's music and comedy
festivals (7th Annual Southern and
11th Annual West Coast) as well as
this cruise, ~ereby producing the
high es t number of national women 's
.events.
SEND EVENT NOTICES TO:
CALENDAR, THE SECOND STONE,
P.O. BOX 8340;
NEW ORLEANS, LA 70182
STONY POINT CENTER
The Book and Beyond ...
JOHN McNEILL
December 10-11
Taking a Chance On God
Book 11.nd Beyond ... provides an enviro nment where an author
can be in conv ersation with his/her readers. llte authors are
seic<:ted upon their lite!'ary contribution as it addresses
contemporary issues of justice and peace . lt"is hoped that the
read ers will have read Taking a Chance on God so that 1he time
together may be direc~ to expanding upon the ideas presented
in the book .
M~ lnformatio!'ICl0ftlad'fylka\'ctul■
Stony Point Center .
Stony Point, NY 10980
(914) 786-5674
ROBIN TYLER PRODUCTIONS
presents
LUXURY, ELEGANCE & ROMANCE ON 11IB HIGH SEAS! 11IB FIRST
7-NIGHT WOMEN'S THANKSGIVING CRUISE TO 11IB MEXICAN RIVIERA!
Saturday, November 17th to Saturday, November 2~th, 1990
from $795.00 to $1595.00 • $250 deposit will hold your place
(Check or M.O.- MasterCard or Visa accepted for balance after deposit)
Call or Write NOW! Space is Limited
FROM SAN DIEGO, CA to CABO SAN LUCAS0PIJERTO VALLARTA & MAZATtAN
Join 800 woman from all over tha world on a beautiful first class ship
sailing toward exotic destinations.
SPECIAL DISCOUNT AIRFARES AVAJIABLE • PRE & POST CRUISE DISCOUNT HOTEL RATES
For rese,vations or additional information or to receive COLOR BROCHURE write
ROBIN TYLER PROC>UCTIONS, 15842 Chase St., Sepulveda, CA 91343 or call
1-818-893-4075 9am-5pm (Pacific Ti_me) Mon.-F.ri. or Fax: 1-818-893-1593.
No .vember/December 1989 DJ
Closer Look
Prayer Is The Strategy For 'Spiritual Warfare'
By Rev. Samuel Kade&
. Contributing Writer
For centuries, Gay -men and
Lesbians have been denied
access to the good .news of the
gospel. Yet in our generation,
God has raised up a faithful
few who have diligently
studied the scriptures to both
show themselves approved
unto God, and who searched
the scriptures daily . to see
whether these things were so.
Over the last few decades, the
Gay and Lesbian community
has come to a new
understanding of what it is to
be gay and Christian; two very
compatible states. We nave
been led by the Spirit of God
_to a revelation of what it
means to be a eunuch, a
foreigner, a strang~r to the
established faith community
as recorded in Isaiah 56.
Those eunuchs (those whose
sexuality or orientation was
outside the heterosexual
family model) are not cut off
from God. But to those who
· will take hold of God's
covenant, God will give a
name to them that is better
than that of sons and
daughters (the traditional
heterosexual faith community).
(see Is. 56:4-5)
To have a name better than
that of sons and daughters
d_oes not give us license to be
boastful , proud or arrogant.
Instead it calls us to even
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Ill
greater responsibility.
Philippians 3:2 in the KJV
says "Beware of dogs, beware
of evil workers, beware of
concision ." The word concision
in Greekis katatome.
It means .false circumcision as
opposed to true circumcision.
It means mutilators, and a
cutting away ._ Concision is
where we get the word concise:
to shorten, or cut away
whaf is percieved to be extraneous.
There are people
within Christendom who are
of the concision,
They will accept us as
Christians under the
conditions which cut away
our core personality. We've
met these mutilators, we've
debated these mutilators.
Sometimes we've even lived
with these ·mutilators.
Scripture says to beware of
them.
But if we've been given a
name better than that, better
things are expected of us. We
are not called to fight fire
with fire. We are called to get
wisdom, and in our getting to
get understanding.
Many times, those of the
concision are well meaning
but misinformed. It is by lack
of knowledg~ that people are
destroyed. They perpetuate
their perceptions of Scripture
as truth, and no one is set free.
More are brought under the
bondage of guilt and self
hatred. The Christian Gay
and Lesbian community finds
itself having to tear down
years of damage before a new
foundation can be laid and a
bridge built between the
Savior and the lost. In order
to witness to the love of God
toward us as sinners, to our
sisters and brothers, we have
. . to do spiritual warfare on
their behalf. Otherwise they
hear but do not understand;
they see but do not perceive .
What do we do to win the
lost for Jesus Christ? What is
our responsibility as servants
of the Most High God? A
major step in getting wisdom
is _to understand Ephesians
6:12. We must realize we are
not fighting flesh and blood.
We are not doing battle for
Gay /Lesbian lives by fighting
other people. Those of the
concision are people who .pre
misguided. They've been
brought into subjection by a
lie , perpetuated by the
originator of the lie, Satan
himself. We do not war
against flesh and blood but
against principalities, against
powers, against rulers of the
(spiritual) darkness of this
world, against spiritual
wickedness in high places.
Our responsibility begins in
prayer. We do battle
through prayer.
What do we pray? The
question was once asked
Jesus by His disciples. The
GENERAL ASSEMBLY, From Page 1
buttons. The buttons feature
the group's logo which is the
Church's symbol superimposed
over a pink triangle.
Adjacent to the Alliance's
booth was a booth sponsored
by Open and Affirming
Congregations of the
denomination. These congre gations
have publicly
declared their acceptance of
Gays anq Lesbians as · full
participating members of the
Church.
Other activities of the
Alliance which were
sanctioned and scheduled by
the General Office of the
Church included an Interact
Group on Open and Affirming
Congregations and an Aftersession
which celebrated the .
founding of the Alliance.
Alliance members conducted
an AIDS Prayer and
Memorial Service in the
General Assembly Chapel. In
addition, an Ad Hoc Choir of
the Alliance members and
th~ir friends sang in the
lobby of the Convention
Center at the close of
afternoon business sessions
and members carried a pink
triangle banner in an
Assembly parade through
downtown Indianapolis.
Another banner which was
loaned to the Alliance by the
United Church Coalition for
Lesbian and Gay Concerns and
declaring "The body of Christ
is living with AIDS" was
also displayed during the
parade. The ·group also
hosted a hospitality suite at
a nearby hotel and sponsored
THE SECOND STONE
answer was "Let God ' s
kingdom corne, and God's
will be done on earth as it is
in heaven." We pray
therefo 1:,e, that God's will, the
same will being done in
heaven, become manifest in
the Gay /Lesbian community.
That the kingdom of God)
which is in yo u, come in the
Ii ves of others, as they recieve
Jesus personally themselves.
We pray that God's kingdom .
come in them, in their . hearts,
and that blinders to that good
news be .removed.
We pray also whatMatthew
9:38 states. Asking that God
will send forth labor ers,
including me, into the Gay/Lesbian
community. · Send
forth laborers, including me,
for how can they believe if
they 've never heard. How
can they hear unless
someone tells them the good
news of Jesus, and how can
someone . tell, unless they are
sent? Send ' forth, Lord!
Pray Colossians 4:3; that God .
would open doors to the
ministry of the Word. Pray
also for the church at large.
Pray that the ey es of the
church will be opened to the
truth of the Word. (Ephesians
1:17-23) Because Jesus uses the
Word of God to wash His
church, to cleanse it and make
it a bride without spot or
wrinkle.
an informal dinner at a ·1ocal
gay restaurant.
Delegates to the General
Assembly overwhelmingly
approved a resolution committing
the Church and its
members to treat persons with
AIDS and ·ARC as the
children of God and to "act as
instrumen .ts of God 's compassionate
love and tender
care where the seeds of fear,
prejudice and alienation
have been sown." The
delegates also. approved by a
lesser margin a resolution
calling for an ecumenical
partnership with the United
Church of Christ · which
ordains openly lesbian and
gay clergy. During debate on
the resolution, ·some delegatesvoiced
opposition to the
[J
Currently, the rift between
churches · of traditional
mores, and those who have
been given a better name, is a
very large . wrinkle indeed!
This is not acceptable. But the
wrinkle will not disappear by
badgering traditional
churches . Strife breeds more
strife. It will be removed by
prayer, fasting and showing
love .
Pray for the church at large,
and show forth love, but do
battle with the real enemy on
the spiritual front.
Jesus has given to us the
ministry of reconciliation,
and a name better than that of
sons and daughters. By God's
grace and powel" let's run the
race . set before us. Victory is
assured ·in the end.
God bless you!
. Rev. Samuel Kader is cppastor
and co-founder of
Commu11.ity Gospel Church
in Dayton, Ohio. He is also
on the governing Board of
Elders of Community Gospel
Fellowship. Rev. Kader also
has pastored Metropolitan
Community Church (MCC)
Melbourne, Australia; MCC
Dayt on Parish, Dayton, Ohio;
and was the founding pastor
of Reconciliation MCC in
Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ple
has been active in Gay rights ,
and a spokesperson for the
Gay/Lesbian community
since 1975.
resolution because of the
United Church's ordination
policy.
With headfiuarters . in
Indianapolis, tne Christian
Church (Disciples of Christ)
has over one million members
in approximately 4200
congregations throughout the
United States and Canada.
Over 8700 voting and
hon-voting delegates participated
in · the General
Assembly.
The 1990 retreat of GLAD
Alliance will be in Kansas
City from October 5 through
October 8. · Persons interested
in more information about the
organization may wrti~ · to
P.O . Box 19223, Indianapolis,
IN 46219-0223.
Families
The Fine Line Between Faith And Presumption
·,was A Promise From · God Broken?
~By Rev. Sylvia Pennini:ton
i Colum7:isl_
, Lilia and her brother Ray were
always very close, although as
, adults she lived in Oregon and he
lived in Texas. They were also both i gay, and both Christians. Only two
' years ~eparated them in age.
· · In July, 1987, Ray called Lilia to tell
her -what family and friends of Gay
f men most dread to hear - he had
'.AIDS. She tried to be strong and
r reassuring to him on the phone and as
'.,~oon as she hung up, she let all of her
I emotions, shock, disbelief, fear, pain,
1 and grief surface. . As Lilia puts it,
pme "fell apart" and was unable to
f work the rest of the day and the next.
Twenty-two months later, Ray died. ·
You niay not like or agree with my
, Christian perspectives at this time,
1 but _ I think the things we say to PWA
family-members needs to be thought ! through and handled carefully.
• No one going through the death and
i dying of a beloved friend or · relative
; has an easy time, but, as so often
f happens, situations involving horriolsexuals
have added stress and
' heartaches,
. Lilia had a prayerful day after
IR.ay's phone call. She turned to the
' Holy Spirit -as her comforter and
teacher. She searched Scripture for a
f word from God. In the third chapter
,of Acts Lilia read about the man,
'.crippled from birth, who sat at the
gate beautiful at Solomon's Temple,
' begging alms. Two of the disciples
: reached out to him and the -crippled
-man rose up and walked. As Lilia
1 read about this she began to wonder if
(the scripture was a promise to her
that God would heal her brother.
ISoon she began to think it was and
1held fast to ''God's promise."
I During the long months that
1followed, Lilia's heart broke time
;a11d again as she shared her brother's
;stress. Shortly after Ray's diagnosis
i his lover of several years left. He
,couldn't deal with the AIDS
r situation. Ray seriously contem:
plated suicide. With his lover gone,
Lilia became Ray's confidant. Lilia's
. treks to Texas began.
. Ray worked at the Post Office and
· due to losing some sick time, he told
his supervisor that he had AIDS.
The pressure was on. Despite some
r who were sympathetic, most of his
: fellow workers did not like being
around an AIDS person. Their
mistreatment became so bad that Ray
: finally relented and agreed to go for
medical retirement, although
: premature .
In August of 1987, Ray applied for
disability and was denied. The
reason given was that he could still
do ·some kind of work. In between
bouts of illness, he started to pick up
dishwashing jobs. His savings
dwindled away and Lilia helped
whenever she could . She sensed a
grov.ring anger over the injustices he
suffered. His illness progressed , but
the disability he was denied in
August, 1987 was not granted to him
until April of this year - six weeks
before he died. There were no family
support groups in Ray's area and
Lilia had no one to talk to or with
whom she could work through her
raging emotions.
Ray 's hospital times were among
Lilia's hardest spots. Some of the
staff were distant and obviously
upset about handling an AIDS person.
They double-gloved, masked, and
touched him hesitantly as though he
was poisonous, a modem untouchable.
Lilia would get very angry and
sometimes felt as though she wanted
to smash the nurses.
In March; 1989, Lilia and a very
emaciated Ray att.ended a three day
Christian retreat in Oregon. There
was a great moving of the · Holy
Spirit as the people gathered
together in prayer, praise and
worship. Ray became a central focus
of prayer. Among the retreat group,
most believed in faith-healing. Ray
was anointed with oil and prayed for
with the laying on of hands. There
was a great deal of reassurance lo
Lilia to accept Ray's healing by
faith.
At the close of the retreat, a tearful,
joyful Lilia "testified" to Ray's
healing. God had done it. Her
brother would live. Everyone seemed
to rejoice with her. I sat and cringed.
I don't doubt that God can and does
miraculously heal some people, but in
my own earlier Christian years with
the Assembly of God and Foursquare
Churches, I went through a great
deal of searching on the healing
issue, for, if I was to be.honest, I saw
very few miracles of physical
healing during a fifteen year period
of seeing so many prayers and so many
promises of God's healing . - and
seeing also that most people still
died of their ailments. I just wanted
to know the truth. My love for the
Lord was not based on miracles,
healing or prosperity.
I can 't say that I have a real
understanding of illness, pain or
suffering in our world. ·r just know
they exist and my God is sovereign . It
is still God's world. I know our God
never leaves ·.or forsakes us, and is
with us in every circumstance and
situation; always there to comfort
and assure us.
Through modern science and
technology many more people are
healed today than ever before in
history. Through our medical
progress, whole illnesses can · be
healed, as in plagues, smallpox,
diptheria and someday soon, we
hope, AIDS. Meanwhile we can
depend on emotional and spiritual
healing, just as Ray was definitely
touched during our retreat. I, for one, .
have learned to seek God's will for a
person's life . Unless we believe that
the Lord has revealed a miracle to us,
we must be careful not to hold forth
positive words of God's healing for an
individual.
After the retreat, Ray's condition
became worse. He was paralyzed, but
Lilia still held on the the certainty
of Ray's healing . It was shocking to
her when an Episcopal priest visited
Ray in the hospital and Ray, seeming
quite at peace , told the priest what
order of service he wanted at his
funeral.
Lilia's grief at Ray's death was
greatly compounded as she not only
suffered her ioss of Ray - she also ·
suffered the temporary loss of God as
she felt God had not kept His
promise to her, and she turned away.
Her loss in the months to come was
Ex-Gays?
There
Are None
Lambda Christian Fellowship is
pleased to announce a new book
. by Rev. Sylvia Pennington - an
examination of ex-gay ministries -
what they do - what they don't do.
You'll meet people who, only
through God's grace, have survived
and stopped trying to be
ex-gays, because, in truth, there
is no such thing as an ex-gay
,:erson.
Now Available From
Lambda Christian
Fellowship
.r. 0, Box 1967
Hawthorne, CA 90250
$15.00 plus $1.50 for postage and
handling. California residents add
6% sales lax:
November /December 1989
□
unbearable.
Thankfully, Lilia has been able to
sort out her confusion.
There is a very fine line between
faith and presumption . In our
community today we're faced with,
on one hand, offering hope and
assurance to AIDS people and, on the
other hand, helping people deal
with the reality of death and dying .
There are no pat answers, just a hope ·
that each of us will prayerfully and
carefully interact with the families
of AIDS people.
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Travel □ "Gay Twenties" Mighty Wurlitzer
Finds New Home At B & B
One of the Mighty Wurlitzer
Organs of the 1920's, constructed for
the movie palaces arid · the world of
silent movi es, has found a new home
at a popular Bed & Breakfast. The
one -of -a-kin d organ console in the
'Italian Renaissa nce' · sty le, (out of
about 4000 built by the Wurlitzer
company) was con stru cted for the
Wurlitzer promotional material s and
was orig inally insta lled in 1928 in
the Portland Para mount Theatre in
Portland, Oregon.
In 1978, the organ was fully
restored, combined and enlarged with
additional pipes from the Liberty
Theatre organ in Portland, and .
install e d in a res taurant in Denver,
Colorado. At that time ; the organ
was the largest theatre organ in the
world, boasting 3000 pipes as well as
many drums, harps marimbas and
even a piano.
In 1988, Pikes Peak Paradise Bed &
Breakfast , owned by Martin Meier
and Tim Stoddard, purchased the
instrument ·and have proceeded with
plans to install the organ in their Bed
&· Breakfast home, located near
Pikes Peak in the Rockies west of
Colorado . Springs . They are a
Christian couple who also own and
operate a national mailorder .book
service which specializes in
materials for Gay Christian people.
Pikes Peak Paradise welcomes Gay
and Lesbian · guests . Furthur
information can be obtained by
calling 1-800c 728-8282.
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THE SECOND STONE
Travel
New York City
Pilgrimage
By Cynthia A. Marquard
ind Danni Munson
:ontributing Writers
The Big Apple is an exciting place to .
•isit at any time, but it is doubly so now
ts the year of the 20th anniversary of the
,tonewall R iots winds down.
The Actual Place, like so many other
>laces of momentous historical sig tificance,
is not nearly as grand as some
>f us may have conjured it to be in our
maginations. Christopher St. at the site
>f the former Stonewall Inn runs along a
iny wedge of · tree-filled park called
,heridan Square, where - one can stand tuietly
and contemplate the events of that
atefu] night in June I 969 that sparked the
nodem Gay/LeSbian rights movement. It
vas here that the Gays gathered and began
o fight back after the police raided the bar.
The city has just renamed that block of
:hristopher St. "Stonewall Place" in
tonor of the event. Outside the actual site
,angs a ·1arge black sign with the word
Stonewall" in white vertical letters. But
he building · now houses a Chinese
estaurant. We . could not help thinking
,ow appropriate it. might be for the
,uilding to someday house a gay/lesbian
nuseum.
·,
A new museum did, in fact, open
ece1'iiiy in New York City, and laid claim
~ being the first museum in the United
:tates devoted to gay/lesbian history. It
ontaiils books, periodicals, and memoabilia,
and is housed in the Lesbian and
,ay Community Center at 208 W . 13th
:t.
The Center itself is a major focal point
or New York's gay/lesbian culture. It
. osted an impressive ·art show in
elebration of Stonewall 20. It's worth -
1hile stopping in to see what's going on.
Another place worth stopping in is, of
ourse, the Metropolitan Museum of Art
-rr Fifth Ave . Plan to spend the better
-art of a day browsing through its
ollections, representing art froin 5,000
ears ago to the present, displayed in an
rea equivalent to four city blocks. The
rnseum store also has posters and other
terns that make great souvenirs of your
·isit. ..
Afterward, if the weather is good, take a
troll through the adjoining Cel)tral Park,
, huge area oftree-li _ned paths, grassy open
reas, and a Jake in the heart of Manhattan.
le aware that the paths twist and wind
hrough the park, and it's fairly easy to
ose your way . Also, after dark, the park
s not particularly safe for anyone--gay or
. traight.
If you are into -modem art, New York
:ity has some of the best collections in
he world housed in the Museum of
.fodem Art on west 53rd St, the Whitney
,rr Madison Ave ., and the Guggenheim on
~ifth Ave. .
New York Cit/has rich offerings of
To Stonewall
music, from the New York Philharmonic ·
and the Metropolitan Opera, to the
excellent Gay Men's Chorus. The-chorus
performs during Gay/Lesbian Pride week
and at several other times during the year .
Theater, however, is what many people
go to New York for . Broadway plays are
often the main attraction. Seats are
pricey, though, so if you don't have a
burning interest in a particular play or
musical, try standing in line at Hot Tix.
Here you can get substantial discounts on
performances that have seats available for
that night.
There is quite a bit of gay/lesbian
theater -in New York, also. WOW Cafe
features lesbian skits. For a listing of
plays with gay or lesbian themes, pick up
copies of New York's gay/lesbian news
publications . Unlike papers in other
cities, they are not · free. You may
purchase the New York Native for $2.00
or the new weekly magazine Out Week,
for $1.50, at A Different Light bookstore
on Hudson St. in Greenwich Village.
New York offers a well rounded menu
of community activities, including
religious services. There are two chapters
of Dignity . Dignity/Big Apple has
services at the Lesbian & Gay
Community Center on Saturday nights;
Dignity/New York, at St. John's in the
Village on Sunday night . The
Metropolitan Community Chur f ~ _meets
at 7:00 p.m. Sunday evening, and the
Jewish Congregation Beth Simchat Torah
at 8:30 p.m . Friday nights. If you'd like
more information about community
events going on during your visit, call
The Center at 212-620-7310.
To get your bearings in this big city,
we recommend a guided sightseeing tour .
An _organized bus tour is good for giving
first-time visitors a quick overview of
New York.
There are also harbor tours that take you
around the Hudson and East rivers. Or ,
you can take a ferry over to Sta ten Island
on your own. Don't .forget to pay the
recently renovated Statue of Liberty a
visit, and take time to see the Immigration
Museum on Ellis Island.
If you like to shop, New York is the
place. All the fabulous and fabled
designers are on sale here at the legendary
stores. Drop by Bloomingdale's, Bergdorf
Goodman, and take a tum around the
shops in Trump Tower.
The center of New York City's
gay/lesbian scene is in two neighborhoods,
Chelsea and Greenwich Village .
Most of the city's gay restaurants and
nightspots are located here . .
There are many cozy restaurants down in
the village--little places where you can
stop in and be surprised-sand delighted--by
the excellent food. Almost any restaurant
in the _ are.a . is a place where Gays and
Lesbians can feel comfortable. But there
are some particular favorites among those
that cater mainly to a non-straight crowd.
A Stray Cafe in the Village is a
romantic, intimate place to take a special
someone or to celebrate an anniversary.
One of the livliest restaurants is Claire,
between 19th and 20th on 7th Ave. This
place is best described as very "Key West,"
with conch shells in the window, a green
and salmon-pink decor, and baskets of
fresh flowers everywhere . The menu
features at lea~ half a dozen fresh fish
entrees.
Another, more casual spot, is the Paris
Commune, which one wag describes as
being done up in early Marxist decor: bare
· brick walls and hanging lights with green
metal shades. The food and service,
however, is anything but proletarian.
Dinner is -served beginn~ng at six.
Like. much of the city's gay/lesbian life;
New York's four gay guesthouses are
clustered in the Chelsea-Village area. All
are convenient to nightspots and restaurants
and all cater to both men and
women.
At the northern edge of Chelsea is
Colonial House, 318 W. 22nd St. It is a
19th century row house on a qμiet treelined
street. Most of the rooms are small
and share a bath. With rates beginning at
$50 as of mid-1989, it represents a real
accommodations bargain for New York
City.
Chelsea Pines at 317 W. 14th St. is
located in a busier area, but is · very
convenient to public transportation . Most
rooms have shared bath and some have airconditioning.
Like Colonial House, it is
clean and simply furnished and will appeal
to budget -minded travelers .
Chelsea Muse, the newest guesthouse,
is an 1840s townhouse still under
renovation, Antiques and period furn iture
give this guesthouse a feeling of Old New
York.
The most upscale of the guesthouses is
Incentra Village House at 32 8th Ave.,
right in the heart of the Village. First
built in 1841, it has been lovin~ly
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restored by the present owner. The sitting
room has a grand piano, the guest rooms
all have private bath, air conditioning, and
all but one has a working fireplace. Rates
are in the $100.00 per night range.
Women who want a safe arid homey
room can find one at a bed and breakfast
apartment in the East Village . A room for
single or double rental is available in a
sunny book-lined and plant-filled
apartment. Call: 212-598-4174 .
Of course, there are many fine hotels on
the· upper East side near Central Park.
One of the newest and finest is The
Peninsula, a completely redone old hotel.
Rates begin at about $250 per night.
The opportunity for adventure and
enjoyment are only limited by the
imagination. New York City is just as
mythical and alluring for Gays and
Lesbians as it is for any other segment of
the population.
Cynthia A. Marquard is the owner/
manager of Envoy Travel, Inc., in
Chicago and vice-president of the International
Gay Travel Assn. Danni Munso_n
is the editor of Gay/Lesbian Events of
1989.
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II
Videos · Ill
Emmy Awarded To Independent Film About AIDS
Living With AIDS, a film
documenting a community's compassionate
support for a 22 year-old
man before his AIDS related death,
was awarded an Emmy for Outstanding
News and Documentary -
Program Achievement by the
National Academy of Television Arts
and Sciences.
Produced and directed by Tina
DeFeiician 'tohio, the film made its
broadcast premiere last summer on
"P.O.V.", the acclaimed series of
non-fiction independent films on
public television.
his lover and others close to Todd
reveal emotional and practical
implications of a man's final weeks of
life.
As the film concludes with a moving
candlelight memorial for the
thousands of people who have died
oLAIDS we hear .Todd's words, "Just
don't tum away from us."
"P.O.V ." executive producer Marc
N. Weiss applauded the TV
Academy's recognition of Living
With AIDS. "This award under ,
scores our belief that the media musi
vigilantly keep the AIDS crisis in
the public eye," he said, "whether
it's a report on the need for decent
health care and human services or a
personal story of courage and struggle.
· Living With AIDS is a shining
example of one filmmaker's effort to
fulfill that critical responsibility.
We're very proud that we were able
'to premiere the film on 'P.O.V ."'
Living With AIDS tells the story of
Todd Coleman, a young San Francisco
resident afflicted with Karposi's
Sarcoma . As his illness progresses, a
team of committed individuals come
to his aid. _An experienced . nurse
supervises his home .care program. A
lawyer/volunteer does his wash and
household chores. A masseur offers
his expertise and declares that this
experience has taught him about
unconditional love. Interviews .with
TELEVISION TRIBUTE - LiviNG WITH AIDS, a moving
film about a community that cares for a gay man dying of
AIDS, was awarded a National Emmy for Program
OiFelicianto11io made the film
while still a student at Stanford
University. It wort both the Student
Oscar and the Student Emmy and has
been praised widely by film critics
and AIDS experts alike. Living
With AIDS is available for rental or
purchase from Carle Medical
Communications, 110 . West Main
Street, Urbana, IL 61801,
(217)384-4838. Achievement. ·
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United Church Coalition _Has
National Gathering
The ninth National Gathering of the
United Church Coalition for
Lesbian/Gay Concerns (UCCL/GC) was
held in Fort Worth, Texas, on the
· campus of Texas Christian University.
The UCCL/GC has been an officially
recognized special interest group of the
1.7 .million member United Church of
Christ (UCC) since 1973. It was
founded in 1972 by the Rev. Dr. Bill
Johnson .
Approximately 55 participants
attended the Texas gathering.
Activities included worship/Bible
study on themes of vulnerability, fear,
anger, and affirmation, small group
discussions, business sessions, social
time, and strategizing for General
Synod. General Synod, the UCC's
representative, deliberative body,
meets biennially . ·
UCCL/GC members worked at General
Synod to press the larger church toward
full human rights for gay, lesbian and
bisexual persons. UCCL/GC was part of
a public witness against Texas sodomy
laws. Outgoing UCC president Dr.
Avery Post was a' speaker at the protest
along with Rev. Dr. Yvonne Delk of the
Office for Church in Society, Charlotte
Taft of the Texas Human Rights
Foundation, John Towery, moderator, ,
South Central Conference, UCC, Frank
Deitz of the Texas Conference . of
Churches, and Sam Loliger, ,on e of
UCCL/GC's two national coordinators.
Rev. Jan Griesinger, the other
UCCL/GC national coordinator led
those gathered in singing Holly Near's
"We Are Gentle, Angry People."
UCCL/GC members were also ,;J.ctive
in urging the UCC to maintain or
increase funding for AIDS ministries,
displaying _ a large banner in the arena
where worship services were held
which read "The Body of Christ is_
Living with AIDS."
Rev . Dr . Eleanor Morrison was th e
keynote speaker at the UCCL/GC
banquet, which was attended by 175
people. Certificates were given to new
Open and Affirm ing churches, . arid it
was announced that the goal of 30 Open
and Affirming churches by General
Synod 17 had been surpassed. Open and '
Affirming churches are those UCC
congregations which welcome gay,
lesbian and bisexual people into full
life leadership, and employment.
· P lans for the tenth National
Gathering in the surr1mer of 1990 are
underway. For information, write to
Rev. Griesinger at the UCCL/GC
national office, 18 N. College St.,
Athens, OH 45701 or call (716)836-7503.
II THE SECOND STONE
Making Other Plans
The Class On · Human Sexuality
By David Doorley
Columnist
That night the class in human
sexuality had one addition: Kurt the
token Gay man. He had agreed to
sp .eak at a university's training
program for counselors . on how Gay
peop le adjust to society's oppression.
He had rehearsed his speech and
expected an intellectual discussion
afterwa rd with 30 graduate students
who were (or who intend to become)
counse lors and th erapists.
Before his talk, while the class
watched an educational film on a gay
relationship, Kurt read last week's
homework assignment, the students'
attitudes .on homosexuality. Here are
some of their responses:
·· "I generally view hom osexua lity as
something ·n ega tive. I really do not
believe it is just another · choice, but
an aberration of nature."
"Ho mo sexuality is an alternative
lifestyle that I do no.t condone. I can
accept it, but I do not like it . I do not
think this is a practice that is
morally right."
. "I beli eve it is somebody's own
personal sexual _ choice, and I respect
that choice. What I d,,o not like are
the people who flaunt their
homosexuali ty in public . · For
examp le, when their mannerism or
speaking are exaggerated or when
they discuss their sex - lives. This
type of beh avior completely turns me
o'ff."
"I would be disappointed if one of
my childt'.en were gay. I view
homosexuality as an affliction,
rather like alcoholism:"
what context it's in if there's a
sentence that says , 'I think homosexuality
is sick."'
Kurt is a nuclear engine er and a
friend of mine. I have never seen him
lose his temper or even get irritated.
Usually he deliberates before he
speaks. That night, visib ly shaken,
he began to shout. How could they
presum e to couns el a gay client?
The _ cla ss counterattacked. Why
was he angry, defensive, threatened,
uncomfortable, "prejud ic ed against
heterosexuals? "
If any students agreed with Kurt,
they rem<!ined s ilent . Many were
frowning: The consensus seemed to be:
we don't care what you do, just don't
expect us to condone it .
"Here I am just trying to l ive my
life," Kurt says. "I go · in front of this
class, and I feel I'm trying to justi fy
my exis ten ce. I expec ted therapists to
be open-minded . Inst ea d I have to
convince them it's okay for me to be
alive because I'm gay."
· Later, many students said Kurt's
anger got in the way of his
presentation. Perhaps. The planned
exchange of ideas was detonated by
his onslaught of pent-up frustration.
Kurt now admits that anger doesn't
really teach ·anyone anything . .
Besides, how much can be
accomplished in a two hour class?
"They understood whe re -my anger
was coming from, but I don't think
that anger will help any of them
change," Kurt says.
Maybe the one who learned the
most that evening was Kurt. And the
next time he speaks to a class o n
human sexua lity -- and there will be
a next time -- he will not be so naive
to think that counsel ors and
therapists are more en light ened . t~an ,
the rest of the population .
The next time Kurt speaks to them,
he wants more than tolerance, more
than shall ow understandfng and glib
responses, mor e than th e silent
accep tance of the few . He will ask
for more.
To achieve that, he will struggle to
maintain his c_omposure, believing
that more students will u_nderstahd
him when they are not forced to
defend themselves.
The nest time Kurt speaks to a class
on human sexuality, he will talk to
them personally. He will tell them
about the gay bashings he and his
friends have endured, about ho w it
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fe~ls not to be able to show affection
for his lover in public, a·bout hidin g
his sexuality for fear of losing his job,
about his family's negative reactions
when he came out. Maybe the class
will understand.
One therapist wrote this in the
following week's assignment:
''Having Kurt speak in class was
interesting; however, it struck me as
being societally unfair tha t we have
to have homosexuals speak about
their particular lifestyle. We never
invite heterosexuals to specifically
speak about their sexual preference."
Somebody has to talk to the class on
human sexuality.
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Kurt was stu nned , and he was even
more disturbed by the comments after
the film. Most of the graduate
students claim ed to have a liberal
atti tude. "I basically don't have any
trouble with homosexuality," .the
majo rity of them sa id. Classified Order Form Please pla ce my ad in these
issues: [] Jan/Feb [] Mar/Apr
[] May/Jun [] Jul/Aug
[ ] Sept/Oct [ ] Nov/Dec
Something in Kurt snapped . Here
was a group of professionals trained
f6 help others. They said th ey had a
positive attitude toward homosexua
ls, but what .they wro te seemed
to Kurt be lie myths, stereotypes, and
hatred. ·
· Out o f the ,_;ind ow went the
prepared philosophical discussion,
followed by Kurt's calm demeanor.
As . h_e began to re ad aloud the
excerpts from th eir papers, the color
in his face mounted and his vo ice
gi;rew louder.
The class became def ens ive. He had
taken their comments out of context,
tl1ey insisted. He wasn't being fair.
He snapped, "It doesn't matter
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November/December 1989
CLASSIFICATIONS
[ J Books & . Publications
[ l Business Opportunities
[ ] Employment
[ l Friends/Relationships
[ l General Interest
[ l Mail Order
[] Merc h andise
[ l Organizations
[ l Professional Services
[ l Real Estate
[] Retreats
[ ] Roommates
[ ]Travel
Parting Thought . , □
Pool Party
By Dr. Martin Fowler
Contributing Writer
what was really nee9ed.
When people get walked on and
taken for granted, we call them
doormats. We criticize people for
treating others that way, but we also
criticize "doormats" for lacking
self-respect. Thus ; as Gay men and
Lesbians, we're both ·resentful and a
bit ashamed of being trested as
though we don't exist. It seems we're
acknowledged ·only when someone is
trying to step on us . We ar~ then told
that we should "tun~ the other
cheek", but does Jesus rtaily expect us
to submit to abuse and indignities
without protest?
Jesus asked the invalid with his
mat, who had been waiting 38 years
for a miracle . cure from the pool of
Bethesda, whether he wanted to get
well.(!) In n;sponse, the man
protested about the abuses he had
endured: "I have no one to help me
into the pool when the water is
stirred. Whil e I am trying to get in,
someone else goes down ahead of me."
(John 5:Z) Jesus told him to rise, pick
up his mat, and walk. Cured in that
moment, the man did walk and told
others about it.
The gay Christian handicapped by
years of oppression, like the invalid
living for that magic dip in the pool,
supposes tha ·t when he or she can
finally splash in full acceptance,
opression will be cured (the "ex-gay"
pool being no real option) ... if only
those bigots would get out of the way!
It is as, though Dignity, Integri ty,
Affirmation and the other gay
religious organizations were planning
one perfectly acceptable pool party
for completely accepting and totally
accepted Gays . Yet begging for
acceptanc e still sounds pathetic .
Offering acceptanc e sounds .presumptious
and patronizing. Church
people earnestly determined to
· accepi or to be accepted try to do
what's right, . but wind up like
disappointed siblings on Christmas
morning . No one has given or gotten
But while we wait -in need for that
miracle dip, Jesus offers us the right
gift with a question: "Do you want to
get well?", meaning not "Do you want
to be straight?", or "Do you want to be
ac.:epted?", but rather, "Do you want
to be restored to what you were meant
to be. befor e you suffered abuse and
indignities?" Some of us can't even
imagine what that would .be. Yet we
must find enoughJaith to say "Yes!" -
and then tell others about it.
Martin Fowler is a member of the
Dallas-Ft. Worth Chapter of Evarig
elicals Concerned, He earned his
doctorate in philosophy· at the State
University of New York.
CONFERENCE,From Page 1
planners expect more than
5000 Lesbians to converge ol}
that southeastern metropolis
for workshops and plenary
sessions as well as other
related events which may
occur concurrently, such as a
business and trad e exposition
or a national lesbian softbail
tournament.
The meeting in Portland was
the s e cond · such s trategy
session, follo w ing a first
national meeting which w as
held in Durham, North
Carolina on the campus of
Duke Uni versit y last spring.
The Durham gathering
resulted from nearl y a year o f
smaller regional meetings
where Lesbians concerned
about th e lack of a . focused
national agenda initiated
the conc e pt· of a national
conference. A third meeting
will converte in Kansas City,
Missouri from April 27 to 29,
1990, exactly one year before
the conference itself .
The dat e of the conference is
set in 1991 in order to allow
for ma ximum accessibility for
all Lesbians. Modifications
to sit ~s in Atlanta to create
_equal access for Lesbians with
disabiliti es will require time
to work out. Fund r aising
activities by both the national
planning body and b)'
regional organ izations need
time to ·effectively ensure
that geographical distance
will not be an excluding
factor.
Conference planne r s also
have express e d a commitment
to make 'this conference
a ccessible in all ways to
Lesbian s who have previously
been under-represented
at such event s. The .
steering ' committee structure
appro ve d by the Portland
planning group is reflected in
the composition of the
interim task comm i ttee,
which includes 50% Lesbians
of color , 20% Lesbians with
disabilities, older Lesbians ,
young Lesbians, deaf
Lesbians, and Jewish Lesbians
as well a s representatives
from the N ational Office,
Atlanta, and the west coast. ·
Each task committee
member . is also exp e cted to
work on one of th e nine
committees that are working
to make the conference a
reality: Program , Nurturance,
.. Mobilization and
Networking, Fundraising,
Disabil _ity anci Access,
On-Site Planning, Media,
Logistics, and Clearinghouse
and Educational Action
N etwork. In addition to
constitu ency and committee
representatives, seats on the
larger st e ering committee
have also been · re served for
both representativ es from
national organizations and
the ten r e gions . into which
the country has been div ided.
The interim task committee
was chosen in Portland with
deliberat .e attention to these
constituency criteria as well
as regional and task -oriented
considerations. The members
of the interim task committee
are Chrystos and Ja·net
Spotted Eagle, Joyce Hunter
and Carol Cohen, Michelle
Crone and Susan Fuchs , Barb
Bechdol and Mary Fr a nces
Platt, Ka y Ostberg, Man yd
Carter, · Sadiqua Bey,
Ayofemi Folayan, Julie
N e lson, M.P . Schildmeyer,
and Stpehanie Jo Kent
(paired nam es will share one
committee position .)
An interim office is locat ed
in Albany, New York, where
interested Lesbians may
write ·to the NLC (at ·P.O . Box
3 057, Alb any , N Y 12203 or
call (518)463-1051) fo r
information about th e
confer ence and .regional or
constituenc:y contacts. Pleas e
include a stamped, s e lf
addressed env elope fo r
information. Plans are
underway top relocate .the
nation al office to Atlanta in
the Spri i'i.g of 1990.
Search Open For NG RALegal D irec t or
National Gay Rights ·
Advocates, the nation's
leading gay civil right s law
firm, has begun a nation-wide
search for a Legal Director.
Founded in 1978, NGRA
directs precedent-setting Jaw
suits to win co.mprehensi v e
civil rights for all Lesbians
and gay men. Over 100
attorneys · throughout · the
country have supported
NGRA's legal program on a
pro-bono basis.
Richard Rouilard , NGRA's
co-founder a nd acting Chair
of the Board of Directors
expects the or ga nization to
recru it an individual with
the leadership, energ y and
v ision to build upon th e
historic achievements of the
law firm .
Working with N GRA's staff
attorneys, the Legal Director
coordinates the cooperating
attorney program which
involves nationally recognized
attorneys in the
firm ' s litiga~ _ion efforts.
Some of the nation's foremo st
attorneys have participate d
in NGRA's legal efforts, most
notably H a r v ard la w
prof essor Laurenc e Tribe
In terested applican ts
should send, by N ovember 15,
a resume, writin g sample, a nd
cover lett er to: Search
Committee , National Gay
Rights Advocates, 890i
Melrose Ave., West Holl y-_
wood, CA 90069. Women and
persons of · color ar e
encouraged to apply.
Arlene Kochman Appointed SAGE
Acting Executive Director
Adrian Mayer, Presid ent of
SAGE: Senior Action in a Gay
Environm ent, announced that
the Board of Directors has
appointed Arlene Kochman,
SAGE's Associate Director for
Services as Acting Executive
Director .
Kochman has a Masters of
Social Work, is a Certified
Social Worker in the State of
November/December 1989
New York, and is currently
wor ·k i :,g on a · Doctorat e of
Social Work a t Fordham
University . She has been a
staff member of the organization
for o ver 4 years .
Other SAGE staff, Michael
Rohrer, Cynthia Kessler,
Phillip Piro .and Bill Smith;
along with a corps of 300
volunteers will continue
providing services, advocacy
and education .
Founded in 1977, SAGE is an
advocacy and social servic e
agency providing care fo r
older gay men, Lesbians an d
seniors with AIDS. SAG E
also provides education an d
advocacy around the issues o f
gay aging on a national and
international level. ·