Second Stone #6 - Sept/Oct 1989

Second Stone #6 - Sept/Oct 1989

6

1989

Sept/Oct 1989

THE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER FOR GAV AND LESBIAN CHRISTIANS $2.25
I SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER, 1989 8000 Readers Across The USA
Crusading Mom
After Son's AIDS Death
Beverly Barbo Changing Church
Attitudes Towards Gays & Lesbians
By Pan Grippo
Contribμting Writer
You can see it all in her
eyes. The pain, the compassion,
and the determination.
Beverly Barbo has lived
through one of the most
painful experiences imaginable
-- she Jost her 27
year old son Tim to the
scourge of AIDS in 1986.
She has seen up close and
first hand the devastation
AIDS can visit upon a loved
one, as she tended to Tim's
needs during the last year
of his life.
SEE COVER STORY, Page 10
D Real Live Monkeys,
Queers And Angels II FAMILIES: Storybook
Marriage Didn't Work
By Dr. Louie Crew By Rev. Sylvia Pennington
TONE ISSUE#6 j
AIDS Issue Dominates
MCC General Conference
By Eric Martin
Contributing Writer
The issue of AIDS was
foremost in the minds of many
of the 1500 delegates who
convened in St. Paul, Minn .
for the Universal Fellowship
of Metropolitan Community
Church' s General Conference
in late July.
Early in the conference,
feeiings . surfaced among
I - ---- ----- --
delegates that AIDS was not
being dealt with as a top
priority and a special forum
was held which led to the
funding of a full time field
director for AIDS ministry.
UFMCC founder and
moderator Rev . Elder Troy
· Perry said that AIDS had
substantially affected most
Metropolitan Community
SEE UFMCC, Page 2
Take Action Against Teen
Suicide, Report Urges
A report just released by the
· U.S. Department of Health
· and. Human Services (DHHS)
.Task Force on Youth Suicide
acknowledges that Lesbian
and Gay youth are at
increased risk for suicide and
calls for "an end (to) dis crimination
against youths on
the basis of such char acteristics
as disability,
sexual orientation, and
financial status."
The report, wh ich was
prepared under former DHHS
Secretary Otis R. Bowen, was
completed in January, 1989
but did not receive publication
until mid August.
"According to research
discussed in the DHHS
report, suicide is the leading
·ca.use of death among
Lesbian, Gay and other
sexual minority youth," said
Kevin Berrill, Director of the
National Gay and Lesbian
Ta sk Force's Anti -ViolenGe
Project. "The increased risk
of suicide facing these youth
is linked to growing up in . a ··
society that teaches them 16'--.
hide and to hate themselves.
"
The DHHS report reflects
the findings and recom mendations
of three 1986
conferences sponsored by the
Secretary's Task Force on
Youth Suicide. At the urging
of NGLTF and other organ -
SEE SUIODE, Page 10
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In Our Next Issue:
"Change" Ministries L the issue of full acceptance ofGays and Lesbians into mainstream
church congregations and pulpits is being heard with a
louder voice. And so are those who claim to have the real
answer: "EX-GAY" MINISTRIES. Robert McKnight has an
in-depth report in our next issue.
From The Editor . C
Taking Care of Business
Just a few short, but important, items
and we'll get on with our biggest issue
to cjate.
Our Thanks To UFMCC
We had the pleasure of meeting
many of our readers and making new
friends at the Metropolitan Community
Church's General Conference
in St. Paul. We were also able to
introduce The Second Stone to many
who hadn't heard of us. Our thanks
to Rev. Ro Halford of the UFMCC for
arranging an exhibit table for us. Ciur
friendly neighbor exhibitors included
Martin Meier of The Book Service,
Chuck Vickers of Progressive Praise
Productions, Rev. Louis Kavar of
Lazarus Ministries and singer Shelia
O'Kane. There is a report on the
conference in this issue.
Unrequested Plain Envelope
Mailings To End
We have so far mailed all issues of
The Second Stone in envelopes but,
beginning with our next issue, papers
will be labeled and go out as
self-mailers unless you have
requested otherwise . If there is a
letter "P" on your address label, your
paper will continue to be mailed in a
plain envelope. If this letter does not
appear on your label, and you want
your , paper mailed in a plain
envelope, please drop us a note.
You Mu~_t_N_otify Us
If You Move
When we get a non-delivery
complaint, invariably the problem is
that the reader has moved without
telling us. The post office will not
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is mailed at bulk rate (unlike your
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which are mailed at second class.)
Even if you fill out a change of
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Cards Ends
In the spring of last year, when we
announced publication, we distributed
yellow post paid cards to various
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for us. The permit information on
these cards · will be valid only
through December, so we ask if you
have any of these cards left that you
throw them away. We will be
distributing new subscriber cards
shortly. ·
And now enjoy our September /October
issue, which was especially challenging
and fun to put together.
UFMCC, From Page 1
Churches, but that the
church had not responded to
the issue sooner because of
denia( ,
"All of MCC has AIDS,"
Perry said, "If we do not have
AIDS physically, then it
exists in our hearts and
minds." He added that it is
difficult for people with
AIDS to let fellow church or
community members know of
their situation - that it's like
having to "come out" all over
again.
duced at the conference,
"Spiritual Strength for ·
Survival," which was
written by Rev. Stephen
Pieters, a long-term survivor .
. . of AIDS, who will hold the
AIDS ministry position that
delegates voted to fund.
and injustice. Boswell was
presented with the UFMCC
1989 Human Rights Award.
The UFMCC started with
. one group of 12 people in Los
Angeles, Cal., on October 6,
1968 and has grown to an
international ministry of 249
churches with over 22,000
members. The clergy includes
166 men and 123 women,
g1vmg MCC · a larger percentage
of women clergy than
any other Christian denomination
.' Wfrh a membership
growth of 82% during the
past decade, it is one of the
fastest growing denominaThe
MCC has developed a tions in the U.S.
new AIDS pamplet, intro- Rev. Don Eastman said that
the AIDS -issue has overshadowed
many of the
women's issues, but that the ·
Lesbian community has
pulled together to assist
their brothers.
REV. TROY PERRY
Highlights of the
conference , themed "Good
News For All People,"
included speeches by Dr. John
Boswell, Yale University
Professor -of History and
author of Christianity.
Social Tolerance and
Homosexuality and activist
Camille Bell. Bell, a death
penalty opponent whose son
was killed in the Atlanta
murders a decade ago, delivered
a powerful and
stirring speech on oppression
Letters
PhoenixA, rizona
DavidR ickey
Fan
Dear Second Stone,
Just wanted to tell you that I am
truly impressed with your publication.
It is quite well done and has
, exceeded my ' expec .tations. I
appreciate almost everything, but
the highlight of each issue is the
"Relationships" column by David a
Rickey. It's great!
Peace in Christ,
Frank S. Lou/an
□
We welcome you to share your views,
opinions, feelings and experiences
with our readers. Send letters to:
LETTERS, The Second Stone, P.O.
Box 8340, New Orleans, LA 70182.
All · 1·etters must be original and
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indicate if your name is to be
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edit.
' ..
THE SECOND STONE
The next General Conference
will take place in Phoenix,
Az., in two years.
In This Issue
FEATURES
REAL LIVE MONKEYS
COVER STORY
COLUMNS
FROM THE EDITOR
CLOSER LOOK
FAMILIES
BOOK REVIEW
TRAVEL
ADVENTURE
MAKING OTHER PLANS
DEPARTMENTS
LETTERS
NEWS BRIEFS
CALENDAR
. . . . . . ' . .
ORGANIZATION NEWS
CLASSIFIEDS
□--.
Page7
Page,10
Page_2
Page6
Page9
Pag~ 11
Page 13
Page 14
Page 15
Page2
Page3
Pc!g1;!8.
Pa-gei2
Page15
News briefs
No AIDS Education, Says
Assembly of God Pastor
Gay activists picketed a recent service
of a Mora, Minn. Assembly of God
Church whose pastor, David Squire,
has been accused of making inaccurate
and bigoted statements about G.ays and .
is supporting a . movement to remove sex
and AIDS edu cation from the Mora
schools curriculum, even ·though AIDS
_education is required by Minnesota law.
Squire also criticized a high school
presentation of "Amazing Grace," a
play he said seemed "to endo rse
homosexuality as an acceptable,
alternate lifestyle."
Dignity Leader Honored
Jim Bussen, president of Dignity USA,
• was scheduled to receive the Paul R.
Goldman award from the Chicago
Interfaith Conference.
-Chicago Outlines
Bobby Griffith Memorial
Scholarship Established
The nation 's first scholarship offered
to a Gay or Lesbian senior high school
student has been established as a joint
venture of the . Diablo Valley (Cal.)
Chapter of Parents and Friends of
THE SECOND STONE Newspaper is
published every other month by Bailey
- Communications, P. 0. Box 8340, New
Orleans, LA 70182. Copyright 1989 by
The Second Stone, a registered trademark.
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submitted on speculation either 'Ministry"
or 'For consideration at your usual rates.•
THE SECOND STONE, an ecumenical
newspaper committed to expanding
Christian ministry in the Gay community· -
and to the spiritual growth and . . .
development of Gay persons, their famllies
and friends.
PUBLISHER/EDITOR: Jim Bailey
Lesbians and Gays, (PFLAG), and the
Contra Costa County ; Chapter of the
Bay Area Network of Gay .and Lesbian
Educators, (BANGLE). The
scholarship is being offered in the
memory of Robe~ (Bobby) W. Griffith, ,
a G<1y studen t who dropped out of high
sch ool just two months before his
graduation because of a lack of support
and accurate information regarding his
. Gay identity. He jumped to his death
from a freeway overpass two years
later.
Mary Griffith, Bobby's mother and
President of the Daiblo Valley
Chapter of PFLAG and Robert Bircle,
Chairperson of the Contra Costa
County Chapter of BANGLE initiated
the scholarship in order to offer hope
and support to young Gay and Lesbian
students who might otherwise feel
isolated and unsupported.
Conrtributions may be sent to The
Bobby Griffith Memorial Scholarship,
c/o Diablo Valley PFLAG, 1304
Rudgear Road, Walnut Creek, CA
94596.
United Church of Christ
Adds Gay Church
The 150 m:ember Spirit of the Lakes
Ecumenical Community Church in
Minneapolis, Minn. has become ·the
. nation's first openly homosexual
congregation to join a mainline church
after being accepted into membership of
the United Church of Christ. Rev. Dan
Geslin is pastor.
-Baltimore Alternative
NGL TF Names NeVJ
Executive Director
Urvash( Vaid has been named new
executive director of the National Gay
and Lesbian Task Force by a unanimous
decision of the organization's board of
.directors, according to board chairs Jim ·
Holm and Genie Cowan.
Vaid, presently public information
director for NGLTF, was chosen
following a three month, intensive
search that attracted 86 candidates.
"I feel that my background and my
love · for. this movement - everything
that my life has been about for the past
12 years - . have prepared me to accept
.. t'1e. c'1!1Jte~ge __ qf .~iirecting the nation's
:. 1eading '-Lesbian: ·and Gay civil rights
' otganizatfort,'' Vaid '.said .
National Gay:and :Lesbian Task Force
has more · than 15,000 members
nationwide. ··· .1.,-'; '
Business or
:J.?en,6n~l ...
~cy'.'"a--Secoitd ,.
. <-<«- Sr!~~u•aiSchieber
<>Jiorlored : :'\: ~
Stone Classified Ad
Sister ; Eile~n Schieber, volunteer
coordii,;,ato; fo~ tile'. NOV A Project in
,,_-., __ I9Jg_gQ, Qh.i.o.i:~cegtly received an Ohio
pepartment of Health AIDS Service
Award.
The award was presented in
recognition of her volunteer efforts to
assist People With Aids in the Toledo
area as well as thoughout the state.
In . addition to her work with the
NOV A Project, Sr. Eileen has been
instrumental in the development of
David's House, a home providing
assisted living for T oledo-area PWAs
without homes of their own.
-Cruise
Rev. James Sandmire
Dies
The Rev. James_ E. Sandmire, founder
of numerous Metropolitan Community
Churches including All Saints in West
Hollywood, Golden Gate in San
Francisco, and the MCC in Oakland,
has died at the age of 59.
Sandmire was · a Harvard graduate
and also held a master's degree from
the University of California at
Berkeley . He was the first openly Gay
chaplain to the San Francisco Police
Department.
In addition to his MCC duites,
Sandmire served as an adviser to a ·
group of Gay and Lesbian Mormons who ·
wanted to form their own religious
community, which .became Affirmation .
Rev. Sandmire and his partner, Jack
Hubbs, would have celebrated their
30th-anniversary this summer .
Marine Captain's
Discharge Overturned
□
In a stunning reversal of a discharge
recommendation, a Marine Corps Board
of Review on July 6-reinstated a female
Marine Corps Captain who had been
court-martialed for her friendship
with a civilian Lesbian.
Captain Judy Meade, stationed a l
Carrip Lejeune, North Carolina, wai
notified that the board determined the
evidence against her was "insufficien l
to justify an involuntary separatior
from the Marine Corps."
"Judy Meade's case underscores th1
ridiculous lengths to which th,
military's witchhunters will go tc
purge women who are someho \l
connected with the charge o
Lesbianism," said Sue Hyde, of t h1
National Gay & Lesbian. Task Forc1
and the Gay and Lesbian Milita11
Freedom Project. "The Nava
Investigative Service is contemptible ir
its singleminded campaign o f terro ;
against women in the Marines and th1
Navy. Coupled with its m o11ey·
wasting, time-wasting foolish pursui
of the utterly discredited 'homosexua
connection' in the USS Iowa explosion _
. it is now past time for a Congressiona l
. inquiry into the acti'l(ities of the NIS."
A Presbyterian Promise _
"We will work to increase the acceptance and
participation in the church of all persons regardless
of racial-ethnic origins, sex, class, age, .
disability, marital status or sexual orientation"
- 195th General Assembly (1983),
Atlanta, Georgia
If this is your promise, too,
-we invite you to join
Presbyterians for
.,,, ,-Lesbia1:1,IGay Concerns
~ ~ . ~. ·. . : ', ., ' . ' ' . .
Write 't◊' Elaer Jam.es D. Anderson L - ,.. ~- .·. ,,·- ! f • ..,-::~- • <. (.· .. :-:.,:i:hd ; {. ' · -~ . · :•
- .,:.~PLOC 1 P.O .. Box 38;NewBrunswick,NJ ,,-, ·
08903-0038~)01/846-1510 .
Newsbriefs
Gay Group Recognized
By Chicago Archdiocese
Formal recognition of Archdiocesan
Gay and Lesbian Outreach Chicago
(AGLOChicago), an organization that
will extend the Church's pastoral
ministry to Gay and Lesbian Catholics
in Cook and Lake Counties, Ill., has
been given by the Archdiocese of
Chicago.
Jerry McEnany, a former leader of
Dignity/Chi"cago, said that "recognition
as an organization of the
Archdiocese exceeds the expectations
we had as we began working with the
Archdiocese a year and a half .ago."
-Chicago Outlines
Kummer Honored By
· Minnesota Archdiocese
The Catholic Commission on Social
Justice of the Archdiocese of St. Paul
and Minneapolis has awarded the 1989
. Archbishop John Ireland Award to
William P. Kummer, founder of the
Catholic Pastoral Committee on 'Sexual
Minorities.
Kummer organized the Committee in
1980 and served as staff from 1984 to
1986. The CPCSM is a grassroots,
self-supporting coalition dedicated to
promoting a ministry of justice and
hospitality to, with, and on behalf of
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Gay and Lesbian persons, their families
and friends.
David McCaffrey, public . affairs
laison for the Catholic Pastoral
Committee on Sexual Minorities, said
the award· was "of particular
significance in light of tbe current
climate ·within the Catholic Church
regarding the plight of its Gay a.nd
Lesbian members."
Kummer currently is development
coordinator for PW Alive (Persons With
AIDS live) Publications, Inc. PW Alive
is a . coalition of persons directly and
indirectly affected by AIDS, dedicated
to promoting a message of
empowerment and hope throughout the
AIDS community. Kummer also directs
a CPCSM project, supported by the
Headwaters ]:und , called "Mainstream
Churches Learning to Live with Gays
and Lesbians." The project has a goal of
educating and sensitizing parishes on
Gay and Lesbian concerns .
Established in 1968 and named after
the internation,illy renowned first
archbishop of St. Paul and
Minneapolis, the Archbishop John
Irelancl Award is given annually to
those who distinguish themselves in
promoting better human relations based
oh justice . This year's award
acknowledges Kummer "for his vision
and dedication in working towards a
society inclusive of and hospitable to
all its members, for his profound
commitment to Church ministry with
sexual minorities, and for his
demonstration of sensitivity and
courage on behalf of persons with AIDS
by which he gives personal witness to
the struggle for justice ."
Campaign Informs
Military Personnel Of
Rights Regarding HIV
Testing
Citizen Soldier, a non -profit GI and
veteran advocacy organization, has
launched a public service campaign to
inform . soldiers and sailors of their
legal · rights while undergoing
mandatory HIV testing.
Ed Asner, best known for his role as
''Lou Grant" on both the Mary Tyler
Moore and Lou Grant television series,
has given the campaign a boost by
endorsing it publicly and appearing on
the announcement.
All too often military members who
test positive for the . BIV antibody are
harassed by .their peers and
discriminated against by th _e command,
although such action is officially
against policy.
Citizen Soldier is distributing
brochures to those serving on active
duty, the Reserves and the National
Guard. For information, contact Citizen
Soldier, 175 Fifth Ave., #808, New
York, NY 10010 or call (212) 777-3470.
Cardinal: Safe Sex
Info "Unacceptable"
In a letter which was read during all
masses in Boston, Cardinal Bernard F.
Law condemned the sex education
lessons which are to b~ taught to
students in grades seven to twleve. The
cardinal has stated that the proposed ·
curriculum suggest promiscuity which is
· unacceptable for Catholics, as well as
others, in the community.
-Baltimore Alternative
No Catholic Church
Donations From Me,
Says PFLAG Mom
Seventy-seven-year-old PFLAG
member Veronica ·Colfer, a devout
Catholic, has informed Washington,
D.C. Cardinal James Hickey that she
will not respond to fund appeals until
the church deals fairly with its Gay
members, according to columnist Robert
Bernstejn. Colfer's son's lover recently
died of AIDS and she says the church
failed to provide her son with any
support in his time of need. Colfer and.
her husband now worship at Dignity
services. ·
-Chicago Outlines
Defense Department
· Committee Responds
To Military Freedom
Project
ALEXANDRIA, Va Historic
testimony delivered to a Department of
Defense panel by four female U.S.
Military personnel has prompted the
panel to recommend that the DOD
recognize and address harassment and
d_isharge of women personnel due to
allegations of lesbianism . The
testimony was organized by the Gay
and Lesbian Military Freedom Project,
a joint project of the National Gay &
Lesbian Task Force, the Women's
Equity Action League, the National
Organization for Women, the ACLU
Gay & Lesbian Rights Project , and the
National Lawyers' Guild's Military
Law Task Force. ,
Studies of discharges from the
military services reveal that women
are three times more likely t o be
discharged for homosexuality than
men . .
Constituents interested in lobbying
their members on gay and lesbian
THE SECOND STONE
□ military issues are urged to contact Peri
Jude Radecic at NGLTF, 1517 U Street
NW, Washington, DC 20009.
The Gay and Lesbian Military
Freedom Project was formed in 1988 to
advocate · for the rights of ·gay and
lesbian Americans to serve in the U.S.
Armed Forces and to press for action
' combatting · the sexual harassment of
all women in the military.
Dr. Virginia Mollenkott
Honored
Samaritan College hosted a brunch at
the UFMCC General Conference in St.
Paul to honor Dr . Virginia Mollenkott
with an Honorary Doctorate of
Ministries for her ministry to, for, and
with Gay /Lesbian people.
Dr. Mollenkott co -authored Is The
Homosexual My Neighbor? She has
been an outstanding and ·courageous
spokeswoman on behalf of Lesbian/Gay
Christians in mainline church settings.
Dr. Mollenkott was outspoke'! in her
support of the UFMCC's applicatio11 for
membership to the National Council of
Churches. She demonstrated her
profound courage by coming out as a
Lesbian to the NCC as she spoke in
support of t heir application. Other
published works by Dr. Mollenkott
include The Divine Feminine and her
recently released book, Godding.
Samaritan College was founded by
UFMCC in 1970. Over 450 students from .
the USA, Canada, Great Britain,
Australia and Mexico are enrolled at
Samaritan, the largest college serving
the Lesbian/Gay community. The
college serves both the secular
community with _ _the School of Human
Services and Gav /Lesbian Christians
with the School ~f Theology .
Family Discount
Discrimination Case Won
Seattle 's Human Rights Department
has "found probable cause" that the
membership policy of AAA Automobile
Club of Washington is discriminatory
on the basis of marital status . The
ruling was issued in a case brought by
Demian, a Seattle resident.
The department ruled that the
automobile club discriminated against
Demian when it told him that his ·
domestic partner was ineligible for
"associate membership."
The case now proceeds to,\o nference
and conciliation, a proc_ess wherepy the
department will work with ' both
parties to achieve a "just and equitable
resolution" to the matter.
Newsbriefs
Bishop Bans Blessing
Rev. David E. Johnson, Episcopal
Bishop of Massachusetts has instructed
the clergy of St. John the Evangelist
Parish, Beacon Hill, not to bless the
Holy Union of a lesbian couple. The
decision angered the congregatio~.
-Baltimore Alternative
Lutheran Group Seeks
To Ordain Gay Clergy
A San Francisco -based coalition of
Lutheran clergy and laity is preparing
to launch a congregational ministry to
the Gay /Lesbian community to be
served by openly Gay pastors, in spite
of an Evangelical Lutheran Church
policy prohibiting practicing Gays and
Lesbians from being ordained.
Bishop Lyle Miller, leader of the
' ELCA Northern California -Northern
Nevada Synod, said that if a Gay or
Lesbian candidate not in compliance
with ELCA policy were called and
ordained by a congregation, he would
not sign the call.
· A spokesperson for the group,
"Lutheran Lesbian and Gay Ministry,"
said that the proposed ministry would
have credibility with a "large
segment" of the Gay and Lesbian
population only if it we re staffed by
openly Gay and Lesbian clergy.
Never Morally
Acceptable, Says Bishop
Five members of Pittsburgh's CRY
OUT!, along · with City Councilman
Mark Pollock and Human Relations
Commission Executive Director John
Gabriel rec ently met with Pitts1'urgh
Diocese Bishop Donald Wuerl to seek a
resolution of the Catholic Church ' s
opposition to a Gay rights ordinance in
Pittsburgh.
Wuerl has stated his concern for the
effect such an ordinance might have on
the hiring practices for Catholic school
teachers and the church's ability to
conduct its moral teachings.
In a letter published in Pittsburgh
Catholic, Wuerl said "Homosexual
union can never be a morally acceptal;>le
alternative to the union of a man and a
woman in marriage."
-Pittsburgh's OUT
Literary Journal
To Debut
A literary journal ·said to be of the
highest quality will make its debut
this winter. Tribe, to be issued
quarterly, will feature fiction, poetry
and _essays _ by, for, and about Gay men.
Manuscripts are now being solicited.
Tribe's editorial review board consists
of three well respected_ members of the
Gay publishing community: David
Groff, an editor at Crown Publishers, a
founder of the Publishing Triangle, and
Poetry Editor of Out /Look magazine;
John Preston, a contributor to The
Advocate, author of a number of
important books, and currently a Writer
in Residence for the AIDS Project; and
George Stambolian, editor of the
highly regarded Men on Men books and
- Professor of · French at Wellesly
College.
Trib.e will be published quarterly and
will•be distributed nationally.
Authors submitting manuscripts are
asked to include a self-addressed
stamped envelope. All manuscripts
will be evaluated blindly. Short,
medium size, and long pieces are
welcome. Contact: Tribe, c/o Columbia
Publishing Co., Inc., 234 East 25th St.,
Baltimore, MD 21218, · (301)366-7070.
Group Seeks
Christian Poetry
The National Arts Society is
searching across the United States for
Christian poetry writers. The Society
will be publishing a book entitled
"Windows of the Soul." Up to two
original poems (30 lines or less) may be
submitted for publication . All poetry
must be Christian in nature.
Poetry may be sent to the National
A rts Society, PO Bo x 95 , Pass
Christian, .MS 39571 no lat er than
August 31, 1989. 'Windows of the Soul"
will be going to press September 30;
1989. There is no charge or fee for
submitting poetry.
Catalog Lists Gay Books
Paths Untrodden, a Gay-owned/Gay
operated mail order book service for
literature pertaining to male homosexuality
and the Gay liberation
movement has released its 1989
catalog, listing hundreds of titles in a
subject classification that inlcudes 46
areas.
Paths Untrodden specializes in hard
to find books, out of print, small press
and imported titles. The catalog
includes titles never before listed as
well as books relating to men's issues
arid sale books. A special tribute to Gay
activist Ed Murphy is included ..
The catalog, a 32 page bibliography,
is available for $3.00 fro-m Paths
Untrodden, PO Box 459, Village
Station, New York, NY 10014-0459.
New Gayellow
Pages Underway
Gayellow Pages, the USA/Canada
Directory of Lesbian and Gay Resources
since 1973 is preparing to publish_ the
1990 edition, its eighteenth issue.
Organizations, businesses, etc.,
welcoming Lesbian and Gay people but
who have not received a mailing from
Renaissance House, the book's
publisher, should contact them as soon
as possible to be sure of being included .
Editions currenUy available are:
USA/Canada, .#17 (1989), $10.00
postpaid; New York/New Jersey, #25
(1989), $4.50 postpaid; Northe\lst, #10
(1990), $4.50 postpaid; and
South/Southern Midwest #6 (1990),
$4.50 postpaid .
Gayellow Pages is sold by most Gay,
Lesbian, Feminist, and alternative
bookstores, as well as by many "adult"
stores and a · number of sympathetic
general bookstores. Quantity discounts
are available on request to retail
outlets, organizations, etc.
For information or for an application
to be listed, send a business size
self-addressed envelope to Renaissance
House GY, Box 292 Village Station,
New York, NY 10014.
Anti-Gay Violence
In New Orleans
Under Study
□
New Orleans Mayor Sidney
Barthelemy has endorsed a project of
his Advisory Committee on Lesbian and
Gay Issues to collect data on anti-Gay
and -Lesbian violence and discrimination
in New Orleans.
A report will be released this fall
documenting incidents of violence or
intimidation. The Mayor's Committee
will also attempt to measure -the extent
of anti-Lesbian and Gay discrimination
in jobs, housing, public accomodations,
insurance, medical/dental, judicial/
legal and credit/banking:
In his endorsement of the project_.
Mayor Barthelemy said, "Prejudice,
discrimination a·nd violence against
any group - be the group Black,
Hispanic, Vietnamese, Jewish, Gay and
Lesbian or whatever - are threats to all
people and must be met with laws to
address them."
''lt!J articles are often compellingly
written and · thoughtprf!
voking . as a magazi n,•
handling difficult subject mn ,ter.
Open Hnnds:-is to be com mended
' for its results."
-judge s' comments from
Reconciling Mini s tries with
Lesbians & Gay Men
Associated Chureh Press Jo.-:;..:
Award of Merit Program
Open Hands , the only national Christian magazine focussing on the concern s
lesbian s and gay men , is now in its fifth year of publication . Each issue of Or
Hands addresses a particular concern of gay/ lesbian Christians with:
• feature articles by national/local church leaders
• ideas for congregational ministries
• worship and spiritual growth resources
• news from ReconciJing Corigregations and other ministries with lesbian s anrl
gay men.
Annual subscription (four issues)-$16 Single issue-$5
BACK ISSUES AVAILABLE:
.. Be Ye Reconciled" !Summer 1985)
"A Matt er of Justice" (Winter 1986)
"Our Fa milies" (Spring 1986)
"Our Churches' PoliCies" (Summer 1986)
""Images of Healing .. (Fall 1986!
"Homophobia and the Church" (Winter 1987)
"Minoriti es within a Minority" (Sprini; 1987)
··An Emerging Community·· (Summer 19871
"S exual Violence" IFall 1<)87}
"Se xuality and Spirituality" (Winter 19881
''Building Reconciling Ministries'' (Spring \()8Xi
"Living and loving with AIDS" iSummer 19881
"Raising Reconciling Children'' (Fall 1988)
"Sexual Ethics" {Winter 1989)
.. Called to Create .. ISprjng 19891
. . ~ ........................................................... ... ... .
__ Please send me a one-year subscription to Open Hands @ $16.
__ Please send me a copy of each of the back issues marked above.
D Enclosed is my payment of $ ___ , 0 Please bill me.
__ I may want to receive Open Hnnds, please send me a sample issu~
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Open Hands • P.O. Box 23636 • Washington, D.C. 20026
Published by Affirm"a.tion: United Methodists for lesbian/Gay Concerns
September/October 1989 ·u
Closer Look
The Weight Of Words
By Rev. Brus:e Roller
Contributing Writer
Do you not know that the
wicked [aou:oi, the unjust
ones] will not [inherit the
kingdom of God, NIVJ receive
the reign of God? Do not be
misled: Neither the (nopvot,
fornicators, sex ually immoral]
nor idolaters nor [μ01mcoi,
adulterers] nor [μaA,ax:oi, the
soft] nor [apuevox:onai, (an
obscure ancient Greek word
whose definition has been
lost; it's root consists of ·two
non-sexually connotative ·
words, men and bed) nor
thieves nor the greedy nor
drunkards nor [).oioopoi,
railers] nor [vp:rcages,
rapacious] [will inherit the
kingdom of God, NIVJ receive
the reign of God. And that is
what some of yau · were: .But
you were washed, you were
[made holy by God], you were
justified in the name of the
Lord /esus Christ and by the
Spirit ·of t>ur God, (1
Corinthians 6:9-11). ·
We also know that the law
is not made for the righteous
but for lawbreakers and
rebels, the ungodly and
sinful, the unholy and
, irreligious; for those who kill
their fathers or mothers, for
murderers, for adulterers and
preverts, for [people-stealers]
and liars and perjurers - and
for whatever else is contrary
to the sound doctrine that
conforms to the glorious
gospel of the blessed God,
which God entrusted to me, (1
Timothy 1:9-11).
Here we have a close.r look
at two New Tes~ament lists
that have been used for
several hundred years to
condemn gay men (and more
recently have been used
against lesbian women as
well, though no possible
stretch of the imagination
can make the original Jan-
I am with You
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(A Correct ive Look
at the Lesbian and Gay
Clobber Passages)
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.guage here relate to sexual or
romantic attachments between
two women).
As you can see from the brief
notes on the Scripture
passages above, the confusion
is rife ab .out the actual
definitions of many of the
words in this passage, among
them the word transliterated .
aresenokoitai which had
been translated in ways as ·
diverse as pederast, male
offender, abusers of themselves
with [sic] mankind,
etc. I have deliberately
omitted the paraphrases of
the word that utilize
"homose xual" anywhere in
the term since the term itself
in no way speaks of two men
in a sexual sense. Far be it
from me - a simple country
prea cher - to wade in and
assign definitions to ancient
Greek words that even Greek
scholars would not dare to do.
However, as a pastor and
preacher, I can certainly say
that it is unconscienable to
base doctrine on such an
unclear and ambiguous word -
especially doctrine - that
attempts to tell people who
may or may not go to heaven!
The other word under
discussion here - malakos - is
a bit clearer since it is used
one other place in the New
Testament. Jesus, speaking
highly of John the Baptist in
Luke 7:24-28, asked the
people what they saw in
John. "Did you go out to see
someone dressed in fine
clothes?" Jesus asked, and
then answered his own
question, "No, those who
wear expensive clothes and
indu]ge in luxury are in
palaces ." The word · translated
here by the NIV as fine
(in the sense of luxurious),
and by the KJV as soft , is this
same word - malakos! Here
the word malakos carried no
explicitly sexual connotation,
and certainly no. homosexual
distinction. T~ough some
scholars have pointed to
other JI'eanings in classical
Greek ; I am here concerned
With the · K~ine, the Greek of
,·the New .Te.stament .
· · O( course, I am very
interested in ·word stud ies and
specifics of the New
THE SECOND STONE
Testament text because of my
continual exegesis of the
Word of God, but the more
important step we have not
even considered in this study
is the wider understanding of
the passage: what did the
writer seek to convey to the
readers · of the first century
AD? To understand this we
must stand back from the
trees for a moment and see the
forest.
This passage comes in the
midst of the discussion about
one of the failures of the
Corinthian Christians in
that they took their legal
grievances against one
another into the pagan civil
court for decisions. The
writer urges the Christians
instead to submit themselves
in these cases to the .reign ofGod
- to let the leaders of the
church decide who is right
and wrong in such issues,
rather than going to pagan
civil authorities. In this
context then Paul says that
the unjustified, the wicked,
the unjust ones will not submit
themselves .to the re,ign of
God. Then he names a few
. activities (certainly not an
exhaustive list) that ' would
indicate people who are not
living out the Christian
virtues expressed by Jesus.
Paul's conclusion is that some
of the Corinthian Ch ristians
had lived with that kind of
unregenerate spirit, but now
that · they are living in
Christ, they need to exerc\se
themselves in righ teousness,
and to submit themselves to
the reign of God which was
better exemplified by the
leaders of the church than by
pagan authorities.
The Timothy passage may
well be repeated indirectly
from the Corinthians one, but
in an entirely different
context. The writer of
· Timothy speaks of those who
are trying to impose Hebrew
law on the Ephesian
Christians, and Paul says
· that the Hebrew law, though
. good, is ·not for the righteous
(those who have believed
into Christ), butfor those
who practice activities contrary
to 'sound doctrine. Only
one in the long list of such
□ .
practices is explicitly a
sexual sin, and that is the
word translated in the
Corinthian passage by the
NIV as "sexually immoral."
There is no homosexual
connotation, nor any other
specific: The writer ,leaves
this word open to the
consc ience of the reader.
Moreover in neither passage
is the writer dealing with
what the crit eria is for
entering heaven. The phrase
in Cori nthians deals with
submitting to the realm . (or
reign) of God now on earth,
and the Scripture in Timothy
speaks of those against whom
the Hebrew law would be
used. Both stipulate that
these descriptions have . no
bearing on those who are
"righteous ", i.e., those who
have believed into Jesus
Christ, and have .by grace
through faith been justified
and sanctified by God.
To base any doctrine on such
flimsy evidence would be
foolish, but to purport to deny
entry into the realm of God to
a category of individuals .·
based on this Scripture is no
less than sinful (alienating,
marginalizing, and unlike
God). Read in context it is
easy to see that these
passages of Scripture are not
dealing with homosexual
orientation or entrance into
heaven, but with a
completely different concept
of submitting ourselves to the
reign of God in this life by
making practical life
decisons based on the
authority of God and the
church rather than o.n the
conclusions of the .society
around us.
The Reverend Bruce Roller
is pastor of Reconciliation
MCC in Grand Rapids, MI.
He has prepared . a workbook
on 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 that
is available for $3.50 plus
25% handling and shipping .
This . book allows the student
to draw conclusions themselves
from the Word of God,
and has helped ma,ny people
over their fear • of..,,cpndemnation
from _this ,Rassage
of Scripture. Tlie woi-Jcli,iok is
available from . 'fa 'lth{ul
Publications, P.O. Box 3701,
Grand Rapids, MI 49501 . .
\
Louie Crew, the founder of
Integrity, an Episcopalian
support group for Lesbians
and Gays, appeared before
the Standing Committee of
the Diocese of South ·
Carolina on the issue of
Lesbians and Gays in the
Church. A resolution
adopted by the denomination's
General Conference
encourages open
dialogue between the
Church and the Gay
community. This is Louie
Crew's address to the
Standing Committee.
FELLOW AND SISTER DEVIANTS,
it's always a treat to address Christ-
. ians, who understand what it is to
deviate from the standards of this
world.
It's also extremely important to keep
a sense of humor lest we lose sight of
the joy for which you and I were made.
Let me illustrate again:
Recently Kalen, Father Ramcharan's
granddaughter, about 6 or 7 years old,
came to him with a teasing smile. "Do
you want to see a pictu r e of a real live
monkey?" she asked him.
"Do you have such a picture?"
Father replied.
"Yes. Do you want to see it? Here,"
she said, and handed him a mirror.
Father Ramcharan looked carefully .
"But I don't see a picture of a real live
monkey."
"Yes, it's right there," Kalen said,
curling he.r finger over J}ie top of the
mirror, careful to keep the mirror
pointed towards her grandfather lest
he tilt it back to her.
"No, I see something else."
"What?" she asked.
"I see a beautiful young angel."
"No," she insisted, "it's a real live
monkey."
"It's a beautiful young angel, see!"
Father 'lumded her the mirror .
She lookeqcarefully for several
seconds and replied softly, "Yes, I
see.I' .':
"Unless you come as a little child,
Real Live Monkeys,
Queers and Angels
BY DR. LOUIE CREW
you shall in no way enter the kingdom
of heaven."
I REMEMBER MEETING early in
1976 with a Commission chaired by
George Murray, who had been my own
bishop in Alabama. In a motel at the
Atlanta airport several of us helped
his Commission to word a document
by which the Church could speak the
love of Christ to Lesbians and Gay ·
men . "H-o-m-o-sex-u-al persons," we
began tediously, and then cleared our
throat, "are Children of God and .... "
Not real live monkeys. Not "queers"
and "fairies," but "Children of God!"
" ... and are entitled to the full love,
care, and pastoral concern of the
Church."
What we said seemed to me then,
and still seems to me now, a bit
presumptuous, rather as if a small
group of ordinary folks had decided to
ratify Calvary . It was as if we dared
to say. "Well, Jesus, you do have a
way of loving everybody, don't you?
And I suppose we'll have to go along ."
The Episcopal Church passed that
resolution, and dozens, maybe scores of
heterosexual Christians have joined
us in trying to get the good news of
God's . love to all Lesbian and Gay
people. Those of you who attended
General Convention last summer
undoubtedly noted a very different
Episcopal Church from the one you
had seen at previous General Conventions
. Hundreds of deputies wore pink
triangles, or rainbow ribbons, or both -the
pink triangle to show solidarity
with Lesbians and Gays, the rainbow
ribbons to show solidarity with AIDS
victims.
Over 20,000 people have been active
in Integrity in its 15 years, and many
of them new converts, many more of
them'. people who had left the Church
in despair only to return when they
heard the good news that they aren't
"real live queers and lezzies," but
Children of God."
But those numbers are too small,
given the millions of Lesbians and
Gays who have not heard or have not
believed God's love . As you
heterosexual Christian deviants
. know, it's hard to get people to accept
good news, hard to get people to see
. the beautiful young angel: it's much
easier to settle for .being the victim,
the real live monkey .
And sometimes our witness sounds so
feeble.
LAST YEAR CHRISTMAS caught me
by surprise, and I dashed off a card to
my friends that frankly embarra~sed
me by its doggerel, especially when I
compared it with the beauty and
power of the model. I felt as if I had
hung up faded decorations alongside
my neighbors ' fresh ones. I wrote my
card to the tune of "Greensleeves," and
it began,
"Why hang AIDS bells on our green
tree?" the State the leper is asking.
"I dare to claim that God loves me and
in this hope Fm basking.
This, this is Christ, the King
whom peasants guard and angels sing:
Haste, haste to bring God laud,
The babe, the child of Mary.
Silly, I thought, and much too grim
for such a holy and peaceful season.
"Why must I politicize Christmas!?" I
asked myself. Yet I did . I even
managed to drop a reference to this
silly card into my first conversation
with Bishop Allison, just before
Chfistmas . I told him how my friend
Allen Hess, a man with AIDS, had
called me a couple of days before from
his hospital in Milwaukee to sing my
silly card to me.
"You said you weren't demented
yet!" I teased Allen when he sang off
key!
Allen called me again after I got
back from Charleston. "Louie," he
asked, in a moment of absolute
seriousness, "Do you really believe
God loves me?"
Everything in Allen's voice said,
"Sugar, God could not possibly love .
me. I'm tacky . I'm angry. I'm sick. I'm
queer! "
"Allen, honey," I said with all the
power of Calvary behind me, "of
course, God loves you. God is not god if
god's promises are false!"
MY GOOD FRIEND Dick Bradley,
Warden for the Bishop of Milwaukee,
met with Allen many times in the last
three months. A priest prepared
Allen, and he was confirmed. An
atheist friend was the first to call last
Saturday night, to tell me that my
lover Ernest Clay and Pick Bradley
got to Allen's bedside just after Allen
had receive.d his last rites. Ernest and
. Dick reported that Allen died · certain '.
the God loved him. Allen was buried
night before last. He had spent most
September/October 1989
of his life quietly affirming other
people, especially the poor and other
outcasts; hundreds packed the small
All Saint's Cathedral. All saints
indeed.
I have another dear friend dying of
AIDS 15 blocks from this cathedral,
but I don't know anyone in this diocese
whom I can call to prepare him for
confirmation . He has already heard
you, but not a word about the good
news at the 1976 General Convention,
and much less about the healing at the
1988 C,eneral Convention. My friend in
Charleston, like Allen in Milwaukee,
has given substantially to the life of
his city. I owe so much to him personally.
Sixteen years ago my friend
lived for a summer in my home in
Orangeburg. He was the first person
ever to show me the you can be gay and
be whole too. I remember the ·
afternoon during that distant summer .
that I discovered to my shock, that
integrity means 'wholeness,' and not
'respectability' as used car dealers
and other church folks had tried to
make me believe. .
After I met with Bishop Allison last
December, my friend with AIDS and I
went out for seafood. He explained
that he is finding his major spiritual
help from Voodoo.
IN FEBRUARY I WROTE to every
parish in the diocese offering to help ·
as we try to act on Resolution-120.
Only five persons (The Dean of the
Cathedral, Father Houghton, the
Rector of Old St. Andrew's, the Rector
at Cherow, and Father Snow at
Redeemer) have r~sponded, one
bluntly, the others kindly, not one
with a n invitation . The silence of the
others underwhelms.
I have heard in greater numbers from
Lesbians and Gays who spotted our
tiny notice for Integrity in Jubilate
Deo. Some of them who are on vestries
in this diocese report that they hear
us called queers right on church
property. The few who report that
they have found a sympathetic
priest, .uniformly say that they cannot
expect the priest to speak out
compassionately in this diocese.
The priest and the levite did not
grow snouts: they were not comic book
vill!lins, but just too busy with Church
Work to see the victim in .the ditch.
Only the despised Samaritan saw,
SEE REAL LIVE MONKEYS, Page 11
Calendar
The following ll1UWIUICtl1le1 have been
submitted by sponsoring OT affiliated
groups.
Beyond-Survival
To Ministry
AUGUST 31, A conference sponsored by
Communications Ministries . 9:30 a.m.
- 4:30 p.m., Cathedral Hill Hotel, Van
Ness at Bush St ., San Francisco, Cal.
Featuring an intervie w with a panel
composed of gay diocesan and religious
priests, a religious brother and a
o~111 SIDES N@W
Lccal, oatialal, I intematioaal
['lellS I, ~I AID5 iDfaDla.tial ,
book :ceview:s & Jl:Xe in Maui •s
Ralthly g,r;f/bi/u,sbi,m -
$10/ye,.,r (5alllple issue S1 I to
BSN ~ . ro B:D: 5042 ,
r.ahul.ui, Mam. m: 96732.
~/>c~lcrO ./
ARE YOU
MOVING?
The Fbst · Offce wiH not
f orward The Second Stone.
__ _ YQU rrust notify us for
uninterrupted service if you move.
II
Please notify u s four weeks in advan ce fo r
un intenu pted del ivery . Send bo th old and new
add resses. If poss ibl e attach mai1ing label in
space prO\flded.
PRINT
NEW AODR ESS
(/) 0 )> li
~ 1 ~
i::
Send complel:ed fOt"m 10:
11-IE SECOND STONE
Box8340
NswOfoons, LA 70182
lesbian sister. Followed by an
a~ent by conference participants of
the current situation of gay /lesbian
religious and priests in the U.S.
Church. Cost is $25.00. Contact
CMI/Retreat Confer- ence 1989, 245 Lee
St., #206, Oakland, CA 94610.
Dignity/USA
National Convention
AUGUST 31-SEPTEMBER 3, The 20th
Anniversary of the founding of
Dignity /USA will be celebrated at the
group's national convention to be held
at The Cathedral Hill Hotel in San
Francisco. Cost is $185.00 for members,
$235.00 for non -members. Con tact
Dignity 1989 Convention, 584 Castro
St., #474, San Francisco, CA 94.114.
Third Annual
Self-Esteem Retreat
SEPTEMBER 9·11, The third annual
Self-Esteem Retreat for the Gay and
· Lesbian community and friends touts
· the theme "Can You Feel It? ... A
MIRAQ..E is near." ·
RETREAT PARTICIPANTS will
actively explore a myriad of markers
o n the path to a new self image. They
will learn to effective ly manage such
taboos as anger, guilt, and fear and will
practice using ·tools for successful
decis ion-making and goal setting,
forgiveness, trust, and building
self-esteem in relationships. The
retreat begtns Friday , September 9 at
7:00 p.m . and ends Sunday, September
11 at 3:00 p .m. The retreat site at Point
Bonita is .wheelchair accessible . Full
or partial scho lar shi ps are available
through a grant from Bay Area
Physicians for Human Rights . For
info rma ti on write: Self Esteem
Ministry, Diablo Valley MCC, 2253
Concord Blvd. , Con cord , CA 94521-0139
or call (415)827-2960.
Third Annual Key West
Women's Week ·
SEPTEMBERll-17, The Key West
Business Guild announces 'Women in
Paradise," a week of events for women
to be held September 11 through the
17th . During the entire week there
will be sailing, boating, snorkeling,
. scuba, windsurfing, basketball, music,
dances and other activities primarily
designed for women participants. A
special theatrical presentation will be
staged the nights of September 14
through 16 at the Red Barn Theatre on
Duval Street; On Friday, September
15, comedian Judith Sloan will perform
''Responding to Chaos" in what is sure
to be a terrific concert. For registration
· information write to the Key West
Business Guild, Women's Week , P .O.
Box 1208, Key West, FL 33041 or call
(305) 296-2211.
'
JUDITH SLOAN
Affirmation Fall ~eeting
SEPTEMBER 15-17, The National Fall
Affirmation meeting will be held at
Heme n way United Methodist Church
in Evanston, 111. The theme is
"Envisioning Our Future." For
information write to
. Affirmation/Chicago, Box 1021,
Evanston, IL 60204 or call Otis
Thompson at (312)281-1344 or Jan
Olson at (312) 539-4626.
Damien
Ministries
PWA Retreats
SEPTEMBER 11-14, Washington, D .C.,
NOVEMBER 13-16, Chicago, IL,
DECEMBER 11-14, Annapolis, Md. ,
Damien Ministries, a community of
Catho lic men and women, both lay and
religious, sponsors retreats for People
With AIDS. Each retr eat is free to
PW As, their care partners, significant
others, families and friends. PW As
who apply early are eligible to have
their travel expenses paid in full.
Contact Damien Ministries, P.O. Box
10202, Washington, D.C. 20018 or call
(202)387-2926 .
A~vance '89
OCTOBER 4-8, 'Thy Kingdom Corne,
Thy Will Be Done .. ." is the theme of
this conference sponsored by
ADVANCE Christian Ministries and
hosted by Circle of Glory Church, Fort
Worth, Tex. A _variety of educational
and worship opportunities will be
presented . For information contact:
ADVANCE '89, c/o 2734-A Oak Lawn
Ave., Dallas, TX 75219 or call
(817)457-9043 or (214)522-1520.
THE SECOND STONE
Great Outdoors
10th Anniversary
□
OCTOBER 12-15, Great Outdoors , 'the
largest Gay and Lesbian outd~r
recreation group, is celebrating it's 10th
Anniversary by hosting the first west
coast IGLOO, . International Gay and
Lesbian Outing Organization, Jamboree.
Jamboree '89 will be held at Mount
Cross, Cal. Pre- and post-Jamboree
activities arranged by Great Outdoors
Chapters include a tour of San Simeon,
a Sacramento river delta house boating
trip and mck climbing with Stonewall
rock climbers at Yosemite National
Park. Cost is $125-$140 per person,
which includes housing and meals for
four days and three nights.. For more
information, call Wayne Proctor at
(602) 325-7607 or write Great Outdoors,
3750 North Country Club #44, Tucson,
AZ. 85716-1264.
Our Church Has AIDS
National Conference
OCTOBER 26-28, The National
Episcopal AIDS Coalition sponsors a
conference to enable Episcopal parishes
and institutions to educate their own
membership about HIV and AIDS, and
to provide models of service and
collabo r ation within and beyond the
parish for the empowerment of ·
ministry . The conference is designed for
laity, clergy, educators, persons with
AIDS or HIV infection. Bishop
Barbara Harris will speak. Christ
Church and the Hyatt Regency Hotel,
Cincinnati, Ohio, is th e setting . Cos t i s
$85- $100 per person. Contact Sue W.
Scott, Coordinator, P.O. Box 550275,
Dallas, TX 753?5 or call (214) 343-6936.
NGL TF Creating Change
NO V EMBER 9-12, The National Gay
& Lesbian Task Force's Creating
Change conference for grassroots
activists and gay and lesbian
organizations will feature keynote
addresses by three leading gay
activists, a demonstration calling for an
end to discrimination against Gay men
and Lesbians in the military, and a
day -long institute on fundraising. The
Holiday Inn, Bethesda, is the location.
Workshops will be interpreted for the
hearing impaired and the facility is
wheelchair accessible. Fees for the
Fundraising Institute range from $75.00
- $125.00 and for the conference itself,
$50.00 - $125 .00. Contact NGLTF
Creating Change, 1517 U Street NW,
Washington, DC 20009. ,
SEND EVENT NOTICES TO:
CALENDAR, THE SECOND STONE,
P.O. BOX 8340,
NEW ORLEANS, LA 70182
Families
Almost The "Perfect" Wife
Storybook Marriage A Painful Road To Discovery
By Rev. Sylvia Pennin~n
Columnist
Marilyn grew up loving the
Lord. She can't tell you of
· ever having accepted Christ
as her Savior and she can't
remember a time when she
didn 't know the Lord was
-with her . She was a gentle,
passive child, very content
and -secure in a home where
gentleness,_ love and prayer
surrounded the lives of her,
her parents, two sisters and
two brothers.
Marilyn's folks were
comfortably fixed and the
family spent their summers in
their seaside home. Her dad
just spent weekends with the
family during those months,
months when she had the
freedom to run along the
waterfront, swim, water ski
and have time to be by
herself where she was able to
be very reflective.
She often thought about her
family. They laughed at
some of her tomboy activities
-for she related much more to
the games her brothers
played than those her sisters
seemed to enjoy . . Marilyn
watched _ her mothe r, pert _
and chipper, basking in the
delight , of pleasing her
husband, nurturing her
children, cooking everyone 's
favorite foods - the perfect
hostess when her dad's
bu ·siness associates came to
visit. Her mom was
everything a good Christian
wife and mother was
expected to be-- A role model
was being set for her which,
in later years, she struggled
to emulate.
By teenage years Marilyn
often wondered why she
didn't have the same interest
in _boys that her peers had .
Her dad told her not to worry
about it, she was just a late
bloomer . That would have
been logical but she knew she
was concealing some feelings
that weren 't blooming late.
Those were the feelings she
had about the• girls her
brothers dated. She'd
secretly wish th<!t they were
her dates .. Instinctively, she
was very careful not to let
those thoughts and feelings
be known.
In high school Marilyn
preferred group activities but
did date occasionally, hoping
to find a fellow that could
fill her with excitement and
butterflies. She was a bright
youngster and by sixteen she
knew that she was a Lesbian.
She was also a strong Baptist
and believed she knew that
she couldn't live a gay
lifestyle. · ·
After graduation Marilyn
attended _Oral Roberts
University as a psychology
major . It was her first time
away from her family and
although she missed them,
she had a strange sense of
freedom. ,
In her junior year she
became a prayer-partner
with a senior fellow who
planned to enter the ministry.
She and Carl began dating. ·
He was fun to be with, and
very easy going and athletic .
· It wasn't too long before he
knew that he was in love;
Marilyn knew she wasn't but
everyone had to get married
eventually and she was
certain that Carl would be as
good a husband as her d a d
was.
Carl and Marilyn were
married right after she
graduated. Carl already was
serving as a Pastor's assistant
and Youth Minister of a
large, prosperous churcl) .
She tried - she tried
desparately to be the kind of
wife her mother was , the
kind of woman most of the
women in the church were .
Concealing _ her sexuality was
hard enough but as a Pastor's
wife she w_as always in the
spotlight.
A growing sense of despair
filled her heart as she knew
more, ·with each passing
year, that the time would
come soon when she could no
longer supress her feelings .
Marilyn struggled constantly
with attractions to women in
the church, but she always
had to keep her feelings
under control. It was how a
good Christian wife had to
be.
Many hours of prayer and
pleading were taking up
much of her time . Surely God
would help her get free of her
perverted desires. She was a
Christian woman , she'd
made a vow to God to love,
honor and cherish until
death would she and Carl
part. H er pain was reaching
an unbelievable point. She
knew she had to ~nd the
marriage but how could she
bring scand<1l down on her
husband . She de<1rly loved
him and he never let her
forget how proud he was of
his "perfe 'ct" wife. What
right did she have to decide
that he should suffer instead
of herself. She had the
problem, Carl didn't. People
would surely believe that he
had to have done something
wrong if she left him. The
push -pull struggle reached a
climatic point to where her
inner pain was so great that
she began to doubt if God
could love her and let her be
this unbearably broken
hearted and desolate .
Carl saw Marilyn's
increasing depression and _
after many attempts· fo prob e
her sadness, she tearfully
related the whole saga of her
unhappiness to him. Carl's
first reaction was one of great
anger - an emotion he rarel y
displayed, but in time, as
they pra y ed the issu e
throug h together, he kne w -he
had to let her go. He wanted
her to just lea ve, taking
nothing but her clothes with
her. Broken beyond word s
ari.d feeling very desolate,
Marilyn left in the middle to
the night , fourteen years
after taking her wedding
vows.
In the months which
followed Jesus made Himself
overpoweringly present to
her. As she spent many of her
nights being with Him and
talking with Him, she
gradually came to realize
that her marriage which was
bas~d on self -denial and
cover-ups had already been
broken years before . A
covenant had been entered
into which, from the start,
was not an honest covenant.
She began to realize that God
always knew that she was a
homosexual, from even before
she was born. He was setting
September/October 1989
her free to finally be exactly
who she was created to be.
Much bonding had taken
place during her marriage to
Carl. It took some time, put
past the initial · shock and
pain of a divorce, they were
able to go on and be best of
friends until death do they
part.
Carl visits Marilyn with
her new spouse, Pam. The
years of struggle were finally
over and Marilyn can live the
rest of her life as the unique
woman, loved by God, that
met the earliest desires of ·
her heart.
In Proverbs there is a verse
which ' says, "Hope deferred
maketh the heart sick, but
when the desire cometh, it is
a tree of life ." That tree of
life was God's gift to her.
Rev. Sylvia Pennington, a
heterosexual fundamentalist,
began her ministry to Gays· in
the mid-sixties in San
Francisco. The purpose was to
"g et Gays saved, filled with
the Holy Spirit · and
delivered from
homosexuality."
Over the years, with much
prayer . and study, her
understanding of God ' s
at t itude towards gay people
totally reversed .
Her first book, But Lord,
They're Gay ($7.00) tells
how God changed her
understanding.
Rev. Pennington's books are
a vailable at most gay
bookstores or can be ordered
from Lambda Christian
Fellowship, PO Box 1967,
Hawthorne, CA 90250.
Did you.receiv~ ·
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this issue!
• The mother's true story of her
son's homosexuality and his
eventual AIDS _related death.
• The story of love and devotion
between two young men.
• The story of a journey to
spiritual peace .
byBeverly Barbo
PAPERBACK $8.50
HARD BOUND $15.50
price includes shipping&. handling
available at
CARLSON'S Publishing
. (913) 227-3360
P.O. Box3 64
114 South Main
Lindsborg, Kansas 67456
Ex-Gay s?
The re
Are Non e
Lambda Christian Fellowship is
pleased to announce a new book
by Rev. Sylvia Pennington - an
examination of ex-gay ministries •
what they do - what they don't do.
You'll meet people who, only
through God's grace, have survived
and stopped trying to be
ex-gays, because, in truth, there
is no such thing as an ex-gay
fJ;IS/XI.
Now Available From
Lambda _ Christian
Fellowship
P. 0. Box 1967
Hawthorne, CA 90250
$15.00 plus $1.50 for postage aro
handling. California residents add
6% sales tax.
II
Cover Story
FROMPAGEl
She has done more than
survive the ordeal, however.
She has been
transformed by it. She has
written a book about the
experience, and has
emerged a stronger, more
compassionate person, and
one with a mission .
A deeply religious
woman, Barbo now leaves
her Lindsborg, Kansas
home to journey all over the
country, speaking openly
and movingly of the value
of Tim's life, the integrity
of his relationship with
his lover Torn, and the need
for mainline churches to
pu_blicly validate Gay and
Lesbian relationships.
"After witnessing the
generous, unselfish love
shared . by Tim and To\n,
SUI ODE, From Page I
izations, representatives of
Gay and Gay-affirmative
groups - including Parents and
Friends of Lesbians and Gays
and the loving support of
the Gay community that
was there for Tim and for
me during his final days, I
am convinced that faithful
Gay and Lesbian rela tionships
are good ·and
should be blessed by
churches," she says.
"Negative church
attitudes toward homo sexuafity
have done great
damage to Gay people's
self esteem. Those
attitudes have been
internalized and have
contributed to the high
incidence of drug and
alcohol use and suicide in
the Gay community, " she
says. "I believe the answer
involves church blessing of
same -sex unions . Only then
will Gay and Lesbian
couples receive the support
and affirmation they need
and San Francisco ' s Community
United Against
Violence - were invited to
attend the conferences.
Second Stone
Back Issues
Issue # _3 March/April 1989
ONLY 500 AVAILABLE
(No orders after Sept 30, 1989)
Issue #4 May/ June 1989
ONLY 200 AVAILABLE
(No orders after Sept 30, 1989)
Issue# 5 July / August 1989
All issues prior to Mar/Apr 1989
ARE SOLD OUT.
To order send $2.25 plus 45 cents per issue shipping & handling.
(Foreign orders $I.DO per issue.)Orders will be shipped promptly.
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mr
and deserve ."
Barbo didn't always see
things this way. Her
traditional upbringing and
early years of married life
did not prepare her for
what she was to experience
with her son Tim . Faithful church-
goers, she and her
husband Dave did not
question their church's
condemnation of homosexuality.
"I really didn't
give it much thought
because it seemed so distant
from my own life," she
says.
Tim c;hanged all that.
"He was different from the
other boys . He was gentle.
Because of this he was
never accepted . He was
always on the outside
looking in ."
"We worried a lot and,
unconsciously I think, tried
to change him. Since the
other boys didn't accept
him, his best friends were
girls, and he spent a lot of
. time playing with dolls.
I'd throw in a GI Joe doll,
thinking inaybe that would
help . Or we'd want hin:t to
go out for sports he really
didn't like." She shakes
her head and smiles as she
remembers the efforts to
change Tim. "But he
simply was who he was. It
took us a long time to accept
that."
"In high school, he got
involved with an older boy,
and that boy told the whole
school about Tim.
He was ostracized and
ridiculed, and he internalized
·that ·scorn for
awhile .- He came to us and
said, 'Mom and Dad, I am a
hopeless homosexual.' We
were devasted."
Barbo and her husband
went to their . church
pastors, seeking aid and
support. "They couldn't
accept it. Instead they
wanted to deny the whole
thing."
"We felt so isolated.
What we really needed
was some support. We
needed to know we were not
alone. Even a hug would
have helped." She sighs.
"They were good people,
but they couldn 't help us,
they weren't prepared for
this. We had to go through
it alone."
THE SECOND STONE
"One of the heaviest
burdens families place on ·
themselves is believing
they have to hide their
children's sexuality from
everyone . Families· will go
to great lengths to cover it
up. I see now what a
mistake that is.''
"At the time I did not
realize how much of Tim's
pain, and our pain, was
caused not by his
homosexuality but by what
churches had taught us to
believe about
homosexuality."
· "Promiscuity, gay or
straight, is the problem,
not homosexuality," Barbo
says. "That is why it is so
important for churches to
find a way to bless
same-sex unions. Church
condemnation makes it
difficult for Gay and
Lesbian people to sustain
their relationships . We
all need support for our
commitments ."
Tim did become
comfortable with his
sexuality. He moved from
Kansas to California and
soon met his lover Torn. By
this time -the Barbos had
decided to accept Tim as he
was, regardless of what
their church taught, and
they also accepted Torn as a
part of their family .
Things were finally looking
up - l.)ntil AIDS.
When Tim died, Barbo
felt compelled to write the
book. "I had to do it. I
thought to myself, 'Thes ~
young men are dying, and no
one gives a damn because
they are gay.' I wanted
people to see what . I had
seen -- the incredible love
that is possible between
people that society
considers castaways ·."
Barbo experienced more
pain writing the book than
she had allowed herself to
feel during Tim's illness
and death. "When you're
going through it, you wake
up every morning and grit
your teeth and concentrate
on what must be done to get
through the day. But ~vhen
I wrote the book I had to let
my feelings out."
"It was painful for me,
and for my husband. I
would write it out longhand
and Dave would key it into
□ the word processor. He
would come downstairs
with tears in his eyes,
saying, 'I had no idea it
was like that.' I was able
to go to California to be
with Tim and Tom during
the final months of Tim's
life. All Dave knew was
what I told him in our
daily phone conversations.
I kept a lot to myself at .the
time. So for both of us the
book was extremely
painful, but it was also part
of the grieving we needed
to go through ."
After spending nine
months writing the book,
Barbo sent it to both
religious and general '
publishers. "The religious
publishers said I was too
much of an advocate for
homosexuality. The
general publishers said
there was too much
'God-talk' in the book."
She laughs and shrugs her
shoulders. "So we decided
to publish it ourselves."
They were told that most
self-published books are
lucky to sell a thousand
copies. So they printed 750.
The book has sold over
3,500 copies in less than two
years.
Barbo has been invited to
speak in 14 different states
since the book was
published. She speaks at .
junior and senior high
schools, colleges and .
universities, seminaries,
medical and health care
institutim,s, to community,
religious · and hospice
.groups, even to corporations.
, "The repsonse has been
overwhelming," she says as
she pulls out a, three-inch
thick folder brin:trning with
letters. "These are just a
few of them. I've got six
more folders at home the
same size."
The letters come from all
over the country. She picks
a few at random and gently
reads out loud. They
contain the voices of people ·
with AIDS, of parents and
loved one of people with _
AIDS, of people whp didn't
know how to talk .to their
families a1?out their
sexuality or . t~eir ,illness
SEE COVER STORY,
Next Page
Book Review
The Silver Lining ofthe A.IDS Crisis
'_'Walking Wounded" A Story Of Hope
ByDanGJiwo
Contributing Writer
Within the curse of AIDS. there can
be a blessing, for those who . are
willing to receive it. The blessing is
that AIDS can teach us what life,
and'llove, -are really about.
Beverly Barbo has received this
blessing. She received it from her son
Tim, whose life and AIDS-related
death she chronicles in The Walking
Wounded (pb., 247 pgs., $6.95,
Carlson's, 1987.)
narrow church doctrine that attempts
to exclude an entire segment · of
humanity from salvation for the
terrible crime of being different.
Self published, because religious
publishers said it was too "prohomosexual"
and secular publishers
said ·there was too much .talk about
God, The Walking Wounded is not
· fancy in typeface or design, and the
style could have been polished a bit
with professional editing. But don't
let that fool you into thinking it is .
not an important or powerful book.
This is, in fact, a book that will
-move you deeply not only because it is
about AIDS but also beeause it is a
book about families, about the pain of
growing up different and the pain of
being a parent of someone growing up
different; hurting when your child
hurts, wishing you could do
something to make the pain go away.
When you finish The Walking
Wounded you will be uplifted,
because despite the suffering, this is
a story of hope. Tim's suffering and
death lead ·many people to love and
growth. And because religious
intoleran ce is not able to overcome
either his or his family's faith, he is
able to die, and they are able to let
him go,-in peace, knowing he is "going
home" to his Creator.
Though it hides nothing of the ugly
side of AIDS, the book is not without
a brighter side. Even in the face of
AIDS -- perhaps especially in the
face of AIDS - Tim, his mother, and
his lover find simple ways to
celebrate life during Tim's final
months.
□
Indeed, this is a book that ·
celebrates the many kinds of love
that . surround Tim; the love of his
mother and father, his brother and
sister, other relatives, his friends,
and his lover Tom. If you doubt that
selfless -fove exists in the world, read
this book. It is brimming with-that
kind of love.
And if you think AIDS is a hopeless
illness, read this book It will help
you see that is is not how we die but
how w.e live and love that matter
most.
The Walking Wounded my be
ordered from Carlson's Publishing, P.
0. Box 364, Lindsborg, KS 67456-0364.
Cost including shipping and handling
is $8.50.
The book unfolds with a series of
scenes from Tim's -life, beginning with
his birth and early eye problems that
necessitated several surgeries, moving
into his childhood where his
gentle nature left him with few
friends in the rough-and-tumble
world of boyhood, then on to an
adolescence spent in painful self
discovery and ostracism, to a young
adulthood marked by greater and
greater self acceptance and the
unfolding of a faithful, loving
relationship , until the tragedy of
AIDS strikes and Tim battles a foe
that holds · all the cards.
Lesbian & Gay Episcopalians Meet In San Francisco
The 1,tory does not end with Tim's
death, however. The hidden ·story
throughout is the story · of a mother
transformed by her son's suffering, a
woman no _ longer willing to accept
COVER STORY
until they read her book, of
ministers thanking her for
opening their eyes -- of
people sharing their pain
and their gratitude 'with
this remarkable woman of
courage.
"There will be another
book,''. she says. "There
has to be. I can't possibly
have walked through so
many people's pain
without there being
another book."
When you look into her
eyes you have no cloubt
there will be another book.
And when you thirik about
this • loving mother and
wife from Bible-belt
middle America writing
and speaking for for
religio 'iis .. ·blessing of
homose'xuiil' unions, you
can't help '·B\lt marvel ·at
the way " i1 God calls
prophets. - ·- · ·--
For the first time ever, official
-representatives of a mainstream
Christian denomination traveled to a
meeting of a Gay and Lesbi;m
organization to listen to its members '
concerns.
members ."
Four representatives of the
Commission on Human Affairs were
present. They were the Right
Reverend George N. Hunt, Bishop of
Rhode Island and the chair of the
Commission; · the R.ight Reverend
Frederick H, Borsch, Bishop of Los
Angeles; Mel Matteson, lay member
from the Diocese of Olympia; and
Lydia Lopez, lay member from the
In e,irly July, four members of, the
Episcopal Church Standing
Commission on Human Affairs held
open hearings at Grace _ Cathedral in
San Francisco at the conclusion of a
national convention of Integrity, the
Episcopal Church's Lesbian and Gay
'- Diocese of Los Angeles.
The Integrity convention began on
June 30 and ran for three days. The
gathering marked the fifteenth
anniversary of the organization's
founding in 1974 by Dr. Louie Crew.
Dr. Cr ew was honored by being
awarded the first annual "Louie
Crew Award for Outstanding
Contributions to Integrity." Integrity
now has more than 50 U.S. chapters ·
and chapters-in-formation and eight
affiliated chapters in Canada ·and
Australia .
organization. ·
"It was something of a first," said ·
Kim Byham, Integrity's national
president. 'We certainly understood
the event as a sign that the Church is
trying to reach out in the direction of
its Lesbian and Gay members, but I
wouldn't want to exaggerate its
significance. Gay and Lesbian people
still have a long, long way to go in
the Episcopal Church. We are still
far from being accepted as full
REAL UVE MONKEYS, From Page 7
bound the wounds, took the victim into
a hospice, and paid the bills.
OURS IS THE STRANGEST religion
on earth, a religion which welcomes
bad people more than good people,
prodigals more that elder brothers
like you and me. - . . .
When I grew up,people told me lots
of lies ;ibo_ut Gay men, -that we always
hold our fingers out .strilight to view
them li~e women, that we wear green
on Tl;lU)'sdays, that our pitches are
always high, that all of us can
cook .. but one that most missed the -
target with me was the lie, "Gay men
can't whistle." I admit that I can:t
hail a taxi properly, but I can carry a
tune.
This, this is Christ, the King
whom peasants guard and angels sing:
. Hll$t,e✓ haste to,br/ng God laud,
This ba_be, the child of MfY·
May the $«;>ulSof the faithful ·
dep¥te< t restj!l -peace ;,and light
perpetual shine upon them.
(C) 1989 by Louie .Crew
September/October ' 1989 ·
The . convention, which featured
seminars and discussions by an
impressive array of scholars and
civil rights leaders, including Dr.
Norman Pittenger and the Reverend
Malcolm Boyd, attracted more than
350 participants . ·
The Integrity convention was called
to divise a strategy for the future.
"There is no doubt we - are at a
crossroads," said Byham. "We felt
we had to help the Episcopal Church
move forward on the issue of Lesbian
and Gay rights. The situation is all
the more urgent because of AIDS,
because of the rising tide of violence
against Gay people, and because of an
increase of 'throwaway kids; young
people who are rejected and thrown
into the street by their families when
they find out these children are gay.
We simply must have the Church's
help ib. dealing with these problems.
But not only that, the Church needs
us -- and the gifts we can bring."
The invitation to the Standing
Commission on Human Affairs to
receive Integrity's testimony was one
part of the organization's on'going -
effort to foster Lesbian/Gay
inclusive i'1ess in the Church. In
addition, the organization discussed
plans for its presence at General
Convention in 1991 and passed a
series of resolutions designed to
encourilge the Church to greater
acceptance of Gay people and to end
discrimination against them.
The convention passed .. resoh,1tions
that: . .
-called upon the Church to repent
SEE EPISCOP AUANS, Page 16
Church & Organization News
ReconciliatMioin istry
ReceiveGs rant
grant from the AIDS Foundation of
Kent County for fiscal 1989-1990.
The award is to be used "to provide
services to maintain basic needs on a
temporary basis until other existing
organizations can be utilized." The
church org,mization has also
committed itself to "work toward
bridge-building between the various
service organizations and people
whose lives have ,been changed
People With People With AIDS, a because of AIDS.
newly organized direct services
ministry of Reconciliation Metropolitan
Community Church in Grand
Rapids, Mich., has received a $5650
The board of Re1=onciliation MCC
has approved to oversee the fund
Patti Gibbs, former Client Services
Coordinator for the Grand Rapids
.,. • • - -.:;'.~, ... , .. i,
..... -.-•.• •• ~anJtanc,sco
m
~-YIN
AMERICA
Reprints of the complete Examiner series now available.
****** ***
The Examiner has just concluded an
unprecedented 16-part feature on gays
in America. More than 60 Examiner staff
members contributed to this series,
talking to thousands of people in the Bay Area
and across the country. This important report
studied gay Americans, American society and
their uneasy intersection. In every major aspect
of our culture, "Gay in America" revealed how
gay and straight attitudes are changing as we
approach the 90s.
For a limited time, we're making available
this extraordinary work as a special reprint
package. Each is a full sixty-four pages, printed
flexographically ( the ink won't come off on your
fingers). Every reprint comes with a bonus: the
original 13½ x 23-inch poster used to pr<llnote
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;§,anlfl'randfs!cxoa mincr
THE SECOND STONE
AIDS .Task Force; Dan Brauer, a
professional accountant who is
Student Clergy at Reconciliation
MCC; R. Anthony Espinoza,
Executive Director of the Grand
Rapids Minority AIDS Project; and
Reconciliation MCC's pastor, the
Rev. Bruce Roller.
High Gay/Lesbian
VisibilitAy t
PresbyteriCano nference
The Presbyterian Church/USA held
its most "open and affirming" General
Assembly in decades this summer,
according to James D. Anderson,
Communications Secretary of
Presbyterians for Lesbian/Gay Cone
cems.
"When we· do achieve a truly
inclusive church, and I know we will,
we will look back on .this assembly as .r
the one that turned the corner and ··
began the long process of rejecting the
· current ban on Lesbian and Gay
participation in the Presbyterian
Church," Anderson said.
BatonR ougeM CC
EyesL argerF acility
The Board · of Directors of MCC
Baton Rouge, La., is negotiating . a ,
lease on a new, larger worship . ·
facility. The 3000 sq. ft. building
could eventually serve as a Gay and
Lesbian community center for Baton
Rouge, according to Pasto r Cindy
Drake.
PikesP eakM CC
Celebrate1s0 th
Pikes Peak MCC . in Colo rado
Springs, Colo. celebrated in August
the tenth anniversary of its founding.
Rev. Marion C. Harrison pastors the
church which is located at 730 North
Tejon Street in Colorado Springs.
PLGCG roupF or.
LouisianPao ssible
Two Presbyterian for Lesbian/Gay
Concerns members from Baton Rouge,
La.,are measuring interest in forming
a chapter in Louisiana. Anyone
interested in being part of the group
may write to Louisiana PLGC, 2285
Cedardale, Baton Rouge, LA 708.08.
Sendn ewsa nda nnouncementots C hurcha nd
OrganizationN ewsT, HE SECONDS TONE,
P. 0. Box8 340,N ewO rleansL, A7 0182.
If sendingc hurchn ewsletterps,le aseh ighligh:t
informatiofno r oura ttention. _ ·
.·Travel
Vancouver
Picturesque Site Of Gay Games III
By Cynthia A. Marquard
Contributing Writer
As the site for Gay Games III
in August 1990, one can hardly
imagine a more beautiful
setting than Van c ouver,
Canada. Nature provides a
northern rain forest of cedar
and hemlock on a calm harbor
studded with islands and
surrounded by snow-capped
mountains. ·
To introduce .the inter national
gay /lesbian community
to the charm · of
Vancouver, the local
community recently hosted
the , annual convention of the
International Gay Travel
Association. The main focus
was, of course, on Celebration
'90: Gay Games III and
Cultural Festival, which
will run from Aug. 4, 1990,' to
August 11. The event is being
organized by the Metropolitan
Vancouver Athletic
and Arts Association, and
they see this upcoming
occasion as much more than a
gay /lesbian sports competition.
"Celebration '90 is a
celebration of the gay and
lesbian lifestyle," says Barry
McDell, a director of
Celebration '90 and des ignated
spokesperson. "It has
two equal components, Gay
Games III and the Cultural
Festival."
Gay Garnes III will have at
least 28 competition categories,
some 20 of which will
be individual sports, such as
track & field, darts, equestrian
even ts, and a triathalon.
The other com -·
petition categories will be for
such team sports as
basketball, water polo,
softball, and s.occer.
The Cultural Festival will
feature a whole range · of
gay /lesbian expression:
dance, theater, music, liter ature,
film, and fine arts
exhibits .
The Opening and Closing
Ceremonies wm be held at
·=n
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British Columbia Place, a
domed stadium that seats
65,000 ·people. ·"We see the
opening and closing
ceremonies as the vehicle for
passing on ··. the emotional
experience of gay /lesbian
pride," says another Gay
Games organizer.
The details of the
ceremonies are a closely
guarded secret, but they will
have bands, a light show,
banners and flags, Big-Name
entertainers, and Denver is
organizing a 1,000 voice
Festival Chorus. Celebration
'90 promises to provide a rich
experience for everyone, and
exploring Vancouver will be
another major component of
that experience. There are
many beautiful sites in and
around the city .
It would . be easy to spend
the better part of a day at
Vancouver's Stanley Park.
This remarkable area covers
1,000 landscaped acres and
houses the Kid's Zoo and the
Public Aquariu 'm, where
there are daily shows by
killer and beluga whales.
The park was donated to the
city 100 years ago by one of
Canada's Governors General,
Lord Stanley, who also began
hockey's Stanley Cup.
Vancouver is divided . into
several shopping areas, each
with its own unique
characteristics. Robson
Street, sometimes called
''Robsonstrasse" by the locals
for its European flare, is lined
with trendy shops featuring
Gucci and other brand -name
imports. Farther along you'll
find the Vancouver Art
Gallery, Robson Square, and
the Pacific Centre shopping
mall.
Gastown is a restored
historic area, named for
"Gassy" Jack Deighton, an
earlier barkeeper, who
apparently liked to talk a
lot. The atmosphere is
decidedly yesteryear, with .
antique shops in renovated
buildings, fancy street lamps
from a bygone era, and the
1887 Steam Clock, that lets
off a blast every 15 ·minutes.
Canada Place; built for Expo
'86, is a huge shopping, hotel,
and cruise ship docking
complex. Prince Charles and
Lady Di stayed at the PanPacific
Hotel here when they
opened Expo.
The area that probably has
the highest percentage of
gays is the West End . It is
also reporte _d to be the most
densely populated area in
the world, with 35,000
people per square mile, The
reason everyone squeezes in
here is the view. Dozens of
luxurious high rises offer
spectacular views of
Vancouver ' s harbor and
mountains, certainly among
the top-ten living room views
in the world . There are
several spots in the West End
attractive to gays -and
lesbians . The West End's
English Bay Beach, for
example, is known as Gay
Bay . The gay section is
rather difficult to reach
. down a very steep grade. One
of the many attractions on
the beach is the Sylvia
Hotel, the great movie stars ·
stayed in the 1920s and 1930s.
The gay scene in Vancouver
has changed radically over
the past few years. Five
years ago there were almost
no night spots for gay men and
lesbians . Now there are
several gay restaurants and
about a dozen bars.
For fine but casual dining,
there is Thurlow's on
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for their featured salmon;
pasta, and Australian lamb
dishes.
Doll & · Penny's is an
eclectically decorated eatery
that people in Vancouver
.• regard as "California chic."
Hamburger Mary's serves
sandwiches, and at 6:00 p .m .
offers one special.
In addition to bars and
restaurants, Vancouver · .has
many community organizations,
bookstores, a library, .
and various gay /lesbian
religious organizations, such
as Dignity, Integrity, and a
Metropolitan Community
Church. To find out what is
going on, pick up the local
free gay /lesbian monthly
newspaper, Angles.
During Celebration '90,
.hotel rooms will be at a
premium. The organizers
expect about 7,500 athletes
and around · 25,000 spectators .
Various gay/lesbian travel
agents and tour operators
have blocked several
□
thousand hotel rooms. But
these will go fast. So to be
assured of getting the
accommodations you want,
today is not to soon to book .
Your local IGTA travel agents
have all the details.
Cynthia A. Marquard is the
owner/manager of Envoy
Travel, Inc ., 740 N . Rush St.,
Suite 609, Chicago IL 60611.
P. 0. Box 118 SL
Bethlehem, NH 03S74
(603) 869-3978
In San Francisco
'Cfie... For tbai "Special Occ0sion" -
try - or, for strictly business!
Btd & Breakfast
• Panoramic vieWs oftbe City
■ Hot Tub & Sun Deck
■ Suite available ft,r ptiuate parties
• Candlelight go11rmet dinners served in the elegance of
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■ Conference room and secretarial services available
• First class accommodations far the woman tr0veling
011 business or pleasure
637 Steiner St.
San Francisrn, CA 94117
415/863-0538
the "other" place
under the sun ...
•Steps to the gay beach
•Visit nearby · Mexico
• Pool & cozy Jacuzzi
• Free continental . breakfast
Write or call for brochure.
120 E. Atol St., P. 0 . Box 2326
South Padre Island, Texas 78597
(512)761-L YLE
Air connections via American, Continental, Southwest
September /October 1989
Adventure
New Group Shares Exhilaration Of Climbing
On a wall of rock soaring skyward
hundreds of feet are two figures
perched precariously on a thin ledge.
The two are tied to oppo s ite ends of
the same rope to ensure ·each other's
safety. A strong bond , built on trust
and interdependence emerges as they
continue the ascent. A blur of
physical exertion, delicate movement,
fear and exhilaration fill them
as they face the unique challenge of
the vertical w orld. Finally the top is
reached with a feeling of satisfaction
and pride. A handshake . An
embrace.
For years Gay climbers have
shared these powerful experiences,
but seldom with other Gay climbers.
Until now.
On the last weekend of May, Gay
and Lesbian climbers from
Massachusetts, Rhode Island,
Washington, DC, Pennsylvania and
Texas gathered at the Shawangunks, ·
At the Shawangu~ks, the foundiJ
members decided to expand t:
original conception to explicit
include bisexual climbers. Accordi;
to Mark Mueller, who · original
conceived the idea of the clu
"Bisexuals can feel like a doub
minority, neither complete
accepted among straight friends, n
among Gay people. By includiI
bisexuals from the start, we hope
create a comfortable environmen
The membership went even further
affirm that all people - includi1
straight people - who accept tl
goa ls of the club' are welcome to 1
members. (Many openly Gay climb€
climb regularly with straig
partners .)
Climbing trips planned for the m
six months range from Acad
National Park in northem Maine
Joshua Tree National Monument
southern California . Despite
' predominance of U.S. climbers
p:resent, the club · i s conceived
international. Planned trips for tJyear
include Quebec and t
Canadian Rockies .
A
friend
for the
journey.
Subscribe today {o THE SECOND STONE .
Randy Tate of Providence, Rhode
Island, stretches for a handhold.
a major East coast climbing area near
New York City, to found Stonewall
Climbers. Climbers from more distant
places - Ontario, Minnesota and
California - sent their best wishes.
Many of the founding members had
previously climbed together over the
last year , sometimes driving , hun dreds
of miles to explore new climbing
areas . For dedicated climbers,
distance is no object. Each classic
climbing area has its own personality
and characteristic features: cracks or
overhanging ceilings, low -angle slabs
or vertical walls . Climbers loye to
visit areas that differ from their
local haunts : It made sense to form a
club to publicize trips happening all
YES, I want to receive The Second Stone, over.
the national newspaper for Gay and According to John Yanson, the club's
Lesbian Christians ... send me: public relations officer, "Our !ntent is
to serve as an umbrella group to_
[ ] Oneyear (6 issues) for $12.60 encourage climbing .within the
structure of local gay and lesbi;ui
[ ] Two years (12 issues) for $23.00 outdoor organizations . . Virtually ,
[ ] Three years (18 issues) for $32.00 every major U.S. and Canadian city'
Peter Daley of Boston, Ma
Stonewall Cli:(nbers Treasurer, h:
above the tree~.
(and many ,European and Australi_an Aecordi-ng to"-. Carla -Krys ~:~~i:;;:;ldi::::: ?' :,: ::;s;.;i, :~Ziit~~:~;::i t~;f':£iriar~[: , . .. _ . , .~t R.g;,i!-}g'.,J,t~ );?, .r. ~ ,~!'Y ?L the'~e executive CQ~Il'\~te(:! In absen
· ,.!,,.. ; ~f.l'T1 \ ::,•.; t: .,' . ;-, ···:- •'-' ~,:;·.:~! ·:·~chv~}1~~~--~~~--~~,sy :-to~,fi~d ... ~nou_~h .. "Thete·.are <Gay-.cl~ber~ ·-everywli
Check here if you prefer. plain en~}</Pl1 for mailing: ( :LP.tease al,19','f _&~. futerest~Aμe.gp~e. !Qcally .to run trips .. _, _ we just need 1ft) gef:ffieWord out!"
weeks for delivery of your firsl'issue. Add $8.00 per year for postage · -
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in Canadand all other foreign countries. U.S. currency only. - · · _)3ut for. d imbing · , parti cularly i,ce Write to Stonewa Jim ers
climbing ,~ we have :tolookbeyond our P.O. Box 445, Boston, MA 02124
\ ~ Box-834(),New0r~e~s,L~7Ql.~ .-.:..::·.· _ :· ~ ... -.... ~- -~·-,.~ Own~back-yards:''·. · .·::·-:.,·/i·;:, ½.>~ :., .. : -~ : -~Ftdfn· Cruise Magazine· /5t ~111~- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~T~.H~E~ .. ~s~'E'~t~O-N..,..DSTO.....,_;_N_E.:____ .:.__:_.:___ ____ .:_____ _:: ___ ~
Making Other Plans
High -Fidelity ·
Sy David Doorley
'.::olumnist
Three months after I met my life
?artner , I embarked on what I
ntended to be a three-week sexual
xlyssey in San Francisco . It was · 1981,
nany years before I would hear the
:erm AIDS, and since I was on
,acation and had my lover's
,ermission, I was prepared, to try
inything . To my surprise I found
'idelity.
At ·thi=lt time , the friend I was
risiting . had been living with his
over, Dennis, for three faithful
,eJ rs. Many of h°is friends in San
1rancisco were involved in mono;
arnous relationships .
Sexual adventures, .huh. Well, I ,.
ried, but I discovered something
bout myself on that trip: sex w_ithout
Jve was fine and fun when l wasn't in
JVe, but now that I was, it wasn 't. I
,a s a one-man man. My lover, on the
•ther hand, believed in monogamy,
,ot fidelity.
Dennis's definition of monogamy
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includes fidelity. At first he and Jeff
were smug about their commitment,
while their Gay fri,ends pitied them
or found their relationship incomprehensible
.
"It is work," Dennis admits. "Make
up your mind to that. You need
patience, and you have to give your
relationship time to mature and
grow. Independently we both wanted
it. I didn't need a real good
roommate."
Dennis thinks it incongruous that
some coup les set a a little household,
play house and then trip over to
someone else's bedroom. "There seems
to be a ·desperate need for change and
excitement," he comments . "Young
love in bloom . Well, we're a.JI
different. For a -while Jeff and I were
the - exception rather than the rule,
but not anymore. You see monogamous
couples springing up . all the time .
Oh, look! There's another one."
My lover had been in an open
relationship for eight years, and he
did not believe in exclusivity - and
before he met me he had certainly
put his beliefs into practice. I did not
believe that love lasted forever. I
' had been burned before, and I swore
I'd never be burned again. (Uttered
with a fist clenched heavenward,
somewhat like Scarlett's scene in the
turnip patch.)
What we did believe in was our
Jove for each other. And so, when I
decided to leave Brian rather than
deal with a type of relationship 1 ·
was not comfortable with, he agreed
to try things my way. We promised
to exclude all others sexually. ·
Of course, that was not a guarantee .
that we would live happily ever
after. Because I was insecure and ·
Brian had difficulty expressing his
feelings, we traveled through the
next two years on a roller coaster ride
of incredibl~ highs and equally
incredible lows.
Perhaps we might ·have made it
this far without fidelity. I don't
think it's likely, though . We were ·
both conditioned to different
behaviors, and our solutions would
have led us away from each other
and a resolution to our conflicts.
Obvious ly fidelity"has become more
important today. It could save your
life. But I'd like to think that' the
couples who are forming faithful
relationships are doing so not from
□
fear but for reasons s imibu to Jeff's
and Dennis's.
Seven years ago my lover and I were
not afraid of any sexually
transmitted diseases. · I was worried
that Brian would find someone who
was better in bed . He was concerned
that I might falf in love with
someone else. What we both were
afraid of was a commitment.
And how has mote than one-half of
a decade of fidelity affected us?
Well .. .! arri not quite as insecure, and
, Brian still has difficulty expressing
himself. But there is one thing we
can count on ; Each other.
Classifieds - □ Notice: Prison Correspondence
READERS ARE CAUTIONED to follow these
guidelines in corresponding with inmates: · Do
not send checks or money orders thrpugh the
mail to inmates. Do not cash checks or money
orders from inmates. Persons cashing altered
money orders are personally responsible for the
difference between the issue amount and the
altered amount. Do not reveal personal or
confidential information that would be harmful
to you if passed along to your employer, family,
etc., or may otherwise be used in extortion.
Books & Publications
20%-'0FF ALL BOOKS!!! No matter where
you find them listed or catalogued, we offer ·
20% DISCOUNT on all Gay/Lesbian titles and
authors when you order by mail from
LAMBDA PASSAGES BOOKSTORE, 7545
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minimum purchases. Send for FREE catalog:
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Friends/Relationships
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Sincere, honest, athletic guy looking for
monogcjmous relationship with someone around
same age and interest. Write 31 o 7· Debra Blvd.,
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LONELY 27 yr. old GBM, believer in God,
seeks friends for inspirational purposes. A
very rare prisoner, confined to a cell 23 hours
daily, with limited outside communications. Eric
White #93484, La. State Prison, Camp J,
Angola, LA 70712 12/89
THIRTYONESOMETHING Uncloseted HIVGay
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September /October 1989
CLASSIFICATIONS
[]Books & Publications ·
[ ] Business Opportunities
[ ] Empioyment
[ ] Friends/Relationships
[ ] General Interest
[ ] Mail Order
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[ ] Organizations
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[] Retreats
[ 1 Roommates
[ ]Travel
II
. National Committee To Free
Sharon Kowalski Accomplishes Goal
"Everything is set in place for a
secure future for Sharon," said ·Tacie
Dejanikus, co-chair of the National
Comriuttee to Free Sharon Kowalski,
which has accomplished its goal and
is shutting down. "With Sharon's
move, we have substantially
completed the agenda around which
we organized .in 1987. Sharon is
getting good rehabilitation; she has
contact with Karen Thompson and
her other friends; she has returned to
the.Minneapolis area, where she had
made her home; we've promoted the
book Karen wrore with Julie
Andrzejewski, Why Can't Sharon
Kowalski Come Home?, to get the
facts of the case out to the public; and
as a bonus, Donald Kowalski will be
· replaced as -guardian. We're proud of
what we've accomplished"
The comm1ttee said in an open letter
to tl)e Gay community that "The case
of Sharon Kowalski has been
instrumentc1l in focusing the att~ntion
of the Lesbian and Gay community on
the need for domestic partnership
protections, which is sure to be one of
the biggest community issues of the
next decade... Karen Thompson's
determination and her refusal to give
Sharon Kowalski up for dead have
made possible the education of
hundreds and thousands of Lesbians
and Gay men and people with
disabilities about the rights we have
and must protect, and the rights we
do not have and must fight for-"
Sharon Kowalski may receive cards
flowers, etc., at Trevilla of
Robbinsdale, 3130 Grimes Ave. N .,
Robbinsdale, MN 55422 .
Unitarians Name New Program Director
Boston, MA - The Unitarian
Universalist Association has named
the Rev. Scott W. Alexander as
Director of its.Office of Lesbian and
Gay Concerns (OL9C) .
A graduate of Lawrence University
and the Thomas Starr King School for
the Ministry, Alexander was
ordained to the Unitarian Universalist
ministry in 1975.
As Director of the Office of Lesbian
and Gay Concerns, Alexander will
coordinate efforts to combat homophobia
with .in the 11beral religious
denomination as well as in society at
large.
During the course of the next year,
the Offic e of Lesbian and Gay
Concerns will . launch a major
EPISCOPALIANS, From Page 11
· for past persectuion of Lesbians and
Gay men;
- urged equal opportunity in the
Church, including access to the
ordination process for Gay people;
-denounced so-called "ex -Gay"
ministries . as immoral and urged their
rejection by the Church;
- deplored the absence of any openly
Lesbian or Gay members of the
Standing .Comm i ssion on Human
Affairs;
- urged the Church's acceptance and
blessing of same-sex unions;
- urged bishops to respond t o
anti -Gay attacks with positive
affirmations; and·
. - urged the House o:f Bishops to
deplore the situation in ·the Anglican
Diocese of Sydney, Australia, where
all openly Lesbian and Gay people
and all straight people wh o s peak on
campaign for Unitarian Universalist
churches, the "Welcoming Congre gation,:'
a · program . which is
"inclusive and expressive of the
concerns of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual
persons at every level of
congregational life , in worship and
program. Participating congregations
welcome not only the presence of
Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals, but
the unique gifts and particularities of
their lives as well."
For information on the Unitarian
Universalist Association 's Office of
Lesbian and Gay Concerns or on the
"Welcoming Congregations" program,
contact The Rev . _Scott Alexander,
UUA, 25 Beaccm St., Boston, MA
02108~2800 or call (617)742 -2100 .
their behalf hav<;? been denied the
s·acraments, removed · from Church
positions, arid . excluded from
virtually every _ aspect of Church life.
The convention . also took steps to
expand Integrity 's own inclusiveness,
particu 'larly with regard to disabled
persons, including those with AIDS.
One attendee, who is blind as well
as wheelchair -bou n d , prais~d the .
organization's efforts on behalf of
disabled persons. "I joined the
Episcopal Church," she said,
"because of the wonderful 'smells and
bells' of its services and I joined •
Integrity because I found a community
within the Church that accepted me
_in •,ev:ery way -- as a Lesbian, as a
disabled person, and as a human
being . ·
Half Page Vertical
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(not illustrated)
1_03/4"X61/4"
A
~
/
Quarter Page
5 1/4" X 6 1/4"
Eighth Page
51/4"X3"
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. . Y ore1gn coun1r·
servatJve estimate of d - . ies. Our con- .
remain one of the l rea ersh1p is 8700. We
h east expensi
sue a precisely tar e . ve ways lo reach
level. . ~ ted audience on a national
The proportio; s for d . .
page ad are drawn o ; -venismg up to a half
lO 3/4" wide x 12 1~.~ -page. (A full page is
your ad, please be sur - igh.) When setting up
guidelines. e II falls within these
For furth - . Ur Information
or assistance
. please write to·
THE SECOND STONE
. Box 8340
New Orleans, LA 70182
Sixteenth Page •
25/8" X 3"
m September/ October 1989 ·