Anonymous (I serve in silence)

God has called me to the ordained ministry. The Lutheran Church, the church into which I was baptized and nurtured, affirms and celebrates that call. The parish I serve welcomes me as their loving, caring, energetic, and wise steward of God’s mysteries. If, however, “they” were to find out about my sexual orientation, none of the above would matter. My call would be denied, my gifts refused. And so I serve in silence; with joy and pain, love and anger, frustration and hope. Always hope.

My partner is a pastor. Few people in town know that I have a partner and few who know my partner know that I exist as more than just another citizen. Few know that when they talk to their pastor at home I am frequently trying to avoid making noise so they will not suspect that someone else is there. Few people know that my partner has someone to go home to who loves her deeply. Few people in my partner’s congregation know that their pastor daily considers another occupation, but can’t leave because of a call from God to be in this place at this time.

Planning for the future is difficult but at least when the future is here we will have something to deal with instead of the fear of what will happen. Our life together is, to some extent, on hold. Few people know that conversations between us frequently begin with “when I’m defrocked, then we can…” to be completed with “have children,” “go shopping together,” “go to church together,” “get support from a church community."

Originally a part of the collection of stoles housed by ReconcilingWorks (formerly known as Lutherans Concerned), this stole was donated by them to the Shower of Stoles Project in 2015.