Anonymous (I never revealed the truth)

This stole was first worn at my ordination into the ministry of the old American Lutheran Church in June of 1967. It was a gift from my parents, as were three other stoles to complete the set of white, purple, green, and red. I remember with what enthusiasm and delight I carefully selected four different ecclesiastical brocades and the symbols which I felt would best fit the seasons of the church year in which they would be worn.

Those were days when one didn’t often recognize that it was possible to do anything but what society expected of a young man called to ministry: marriage, college, seminary, ordination, first call to a parish – and don’t reveal anything about one’s sexual orientation in the process.

Now questions are being asked, and pastors are being removed from the ELCA, and others are being prevented from following God’s call along the path to ordination. After 32 years of faithful ministry to this church, I am not about to start answering questions that should never be asked in the first place. I struggle with the hypocrisy of that stance every day, but also know that I have been able to help some other folks deal with questions of sexual orientation in their lives and in the lives of those they love along the way. I will never openly lie about who I am, but neither will I fully reveal the truth about me, and risk losing the ministry to which I have devoted my life.

I never revealed the truth to the parents who presented this stole on my ordination day. In 1967, I am not certain that they could have handled that information; they came out of an era that just didn’t understand. Perhaps this stole with which they gifted me might join with others in gifting this church with an understanding of the talents and people of whom we deprive ourselves when we, in all of our wisdom, place conditions and restrictions on people who have so much to offer, who seek to be faithful to the call of God in their lives and the life of this church.

Originally a part of the collection of stoles housed by ReconcilingWorks (formerly known as Lutherans Concerned), this stole was donated by them to the Shower of Stoles Project in 2015.