Open Hands Vol 12 No 2 - Transgender Realities

Open Hands Vol. 12 No. 2.pdf

Dublin Core

Title

Open Hands Vol 12 No 2 - Transgender Realities

Issue Item Type Metadata

Volume Number

12

Issue Number

2

Publication Year

1996

Publication Date

Fall

Text

Vol. 12 No. 2
Fall 1996
Transgender
Realities
2 Open Hands
Vol. 12 No. 2 Fall 1996
Resources for Ministries Affirming
the Diversity of Human Sexuality
Open Hands is a resource for congregations
and individuals seeking to be in
ministry with lesbian, bisexual, and gay
persons. Each issue focuses on a specific
area of concern within the church.
Open Hands is published quarterly by
the Reconciling Congregation Program,
Inc. (United Methodist) in cooperation
with the Association of Welcoming &
Affirming Baptists (American), the More
Light Churches Network (Presbyterian),
the Open and Affirming (United Church
of Christ), and the Reconciled in Christ
(Lutheran) programs. Each of these programs
is a national network of local
churches that publicly affirm their ministry
with the whole family of God and
welcome lesbian and gay persons and
their families into their community of
faith. These five programs— along with
Open and Affirming (Disciples of
Christ), Supportive Congregations
(Brethren/Mennonite), and Welcoming
(Unitarian Universalist)— offer hope
that the church can be a reconciled community.
Open Hands is published quarterly.
Subscription is $20 for four issues ($25
outside the U.S.). Single copies and back
issues are $6. Quantities of 10 or more,
$4 each.
Subscriptions, letters to the editor,
manuscripts, requests for advertising
rates, and other correspondence should
be sent to:
Open Hands
3801 N. Keeler Avenue
Chicago, IL 60641
Phone: 773 / 736-5526
Fax: 773 / 736-5475
Member, The Associated Church Press
© 1996
Reconciling Congregation Program, Inc.
Open Hands is a registered trademark.
ISSN 0888-8833
w Printed on recycled paper.
Transgender Realities
CHANGING REALITIES
Transgenderism: Challenging the Binary 4
NANCY NANGERONI
The newly emerging transgender community works
on TG rights.
Out of the Pit, Into the Woodwork—Not! 8
JIM KOCHER-HILLMER
An editor interviews Rica, a male-to-female transsexual
who is a lifelong Lutheran.
In Transition: Vignettes 9
GLORIA R. TERRILL
Three stories tell of a life in transition.
Upside Down, Inside Out Feelings 10
HOPE SMITH
A gay woman in the military, headed for seminary,
reflects on the journey of her female military teammate
Jessy who became Caleb.
Standing Tall: A Crossdresser’s Story 12
TIFFANY S.
After eighteen years of marriage and a very successful
evangelical ministry, a crossdresser loses wife and church,
but not his faith in God.
Wéwha of Zuni 13
ROBERT LENTZ AND BRIDGE BUILDING IMAGES
Before the arrival of Anglo Christian missionaries, the Zuni
Pueblo in western New Mexico honored three genders.
SHIFTING THEORIES
Myths, Stereotypes, and Gender Roles 14
JEANNE KNEPPER AND ANDREA ABERNETHY
A dialogue explores intersections of gender roles and
male privilege.
Medical/Therapeutic Processes—and their Critics 15
CAROLINE PRESNELL
Transgenderedness and transsexuality are described from
a medical/therapeutic viewpoint—and critiqued.
Fall 1996 3
For your Consideration: Sexual Integrity 17
MARY E. HUNT
When categories of gender and orientation become
inadequate, consider sexual integrity as a theo-ethical
alternative.
WELCOMING MINISTRIES
A Place at the Table 18
STEPHANIE RODRIGUEZ
President of Dallas Affirmation shares her “epiphany”
about transsexual persons and her own prejudice.
Four Snapshots—Many Lessons 19
KAREN P. OLIVETO
A reconciling congregation and its pastor learn valuable
lessons from Molly.
Acts 8 in Today’s Church 22
DEIRDRE N. MCCLOSKEY AND MARTHA L. OLNEY
A welcoming and affirming Baptist Church extends its
welcome when a transsexual person asks: “May I come to
your church?”
Ministry Is about Sacred Story 24
TONY RYAN
An ordained minister and seminary student shares his
story and dilemma.
Double Blessing—and a Call 26
VANESSA S.
A heterosexual, happily married, biological male shares
his story as a male-to-female crossdresser.
SUSTAINING THE SPIRIT
“I Am!” 28
KAREN P. OLIVETO
A litany of re-naming for transgender persons.
ASIDES
Keeping Up with Language .... 7
Women Passing as Men ........ 11
Deuteronomy 22:5 ................ 21
Discussion Questions on
Transgender Realities ........ 23
TG/TS Organizations and
Publications ....................... 25
Bornstein Reflects ................. 27
Next Issue:
Sowing Seeds
of Inclusion
SELECTED
RESOURCES
29
MOVEMENT
NEWS
30
Publisher
Mark Bowman
Editor
Mary Jo Osterman
Layout / Graphics / Typesetting
In Print – Jan Graves
Program Coordinators
Mark Bowman
Reconciling Congregation
Program, Inc. (UMC)
3801 N. Keeler Avenue
Chicago, IL 60641
773/736-5526
Ann B. Day
Open and Affirming
Program (UCC)
P.O. Box 403
Holden, MA 01520
508/856-9316
Bob Gibeling
Reconciled in Christ
Program (Lutheran)
2466 Sharondale Drive
Atlanta, GA 30305
404/266-9615
Dick Lundy
More Light Churches
Network (PCUSA)
5525 Timber Lane
Excelsior, MN 55331
612/470-0093
Brenda J. Moulton
Welcoming & Affirming
Baptists (ABC/USA)
P.O. Box 2596
Attleboro Falls, MA 02763
508/226-1945
Editorial Advisory Committee
Howard Bess, W&A
Ann Marie Coleman, ONA
Dick Hasbany, MLCN
Dan Hooper, RIC
Sue Laurie, RCP
Tammy Lindahl, MLCN
Samuel E. Loliger, ONA
Tim Phillips, W&A
Lisa Ann Pierce, SCN
Dick Poole, RIC
Caroline Presnell, RCP
Irma C. Romero, ONA
Paul Santillán, RCP
Joanne Sizoo, MLCN
Stuart Wright, RIC
4 Open Hands
gender shame is imposed by a culture
striving for something unnatural and
repressive. The strict binary of sex and
gender is a myth that is enforced by
popular notions, creating pervasive but
usually repressed discontent with gender
roles. The pervasiveness of the discontent
shows in the popularity of gender
transgression in the media, where
Howard Stern’s book parading his
crossdressing is a best-seller, and where
movies like To Wong Foo and Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert were box-office hits.
TV networks parade forth their most
gender transgressive content during ratings
week, when their advertising
income has the most to gain. In Boston,
for example, a normally staid “Chronicle”
ran a segment on transgenderism
with flashy promotion for ratings week
in February, and then again during
November’s ratings week.
The dawning recognition that “gender
dysphoria” (the medical term applied
to some transgender persons)
might be the healthy response of a sensitive
individual to a repressive society
has had a profound effect on the TG
community. Individuals, instead of
blaming themselves for perversion, can
instead regard the failure of a society
that stigmatizes their naturalness.
This shift has been crucial in bolstering
the self-esteem of the transgender
The transgender (TG) community
has come of age, stepping forward
as the agent of change that upsets
the binary gender system. At the root
of this, as in all change, is the emergence
of new ideas which have been reshaping
the way a lot of people, transgender
and otherwise, regard themselves and
others. Perhaps the most influential new
ideas were those of Judith Butler, a
leading feminist scholar and gender
theorist.1
The message from Butler that
knocked transgenders (TGs) to our feet
was that gender is a performance. Butler
tells us that masculinity and femininity
are not essential elements in all
of us but rather labels and interpretations
that we assign to parts of ourselves
and our world. Division along lines of
sex and gender is a political act, enforced
by rules of conduct that are neither negotiated
nor defensible.
While embracing these ideals, the TG
community has continued to educate
itself in the gender ways of other cultures,
especially native American cultures
that honored transgenderism with
respected social roles. As transgenders
(those whose gender display is at least
sometimes counter to what the culture
dictates) and their increasingly receptive
friends and families nurtured a pan-cultural
perspective, we learned that trans-
By Nancy Nangeroni
CHANGING
REALITIES
Fall 1996 5
community. This healthy perspective is
increasingly supported outside the TG
community, most recently by Phyllis
Burke’s book GenderShock.2
When we encountered transphobia
and dis-inclusion within the gay and lesbian
communities, some TG folk recognized
that a struggle only for
transgender rights would surely leave
out some other minority group(s). We
have responded by committing to a
policy of respect for diversity and inclusion.
We have opened our movement
to include all who wish to be a part, redefining
ourselves as gender transgressors,
an overarching category that potentially
includes gays, lesbians,
bisexuals, feminists, and literally anyone.
Rather than acting as “wanna-be’s”
to some pre-existing group, we have
defined an arena for social change in
which we play a pivotal part as key disrupter
of established norms, but in
which all persons have a role and are
welcome.
Evidence of the growing popularity
of these and related ideas shows in recent
events. In February 1995, an International
Congress on Gender, Cross-
Dressing, and Sex Issues was held in Los
Angeles. It was the first time the medical
and academic communities extended
an open invitation to the TG
community to join a professional dialogue
on TG issues. Not long before, the
International Foundation for Gender
Education (IFGE) taught an American
Psychiatric Association convention that
the dominant pathology in gender dysphoria
lies not in the individual, but in
the culture. The international conference
was an attempt by professionals to
stop pathologizing transgenders and
start listening to us instead.
In May 1995, key members of the TG
community made a commitment to
draw the line on violence against transgenders.
Since then, they have conducted
demonstrations at sites across the
country where transgenders have been
victims of violence or persecution. They
first did so by conducting a vigil at the
trial of one of the murderers of Brandon
Teena, a young person born apparently
female but living as a man, loving
women. Brandon’s nasty murder
shocked the small town of Falls City,
Nebraska and sent ripples reverberating
across the country. The appearance of
forty transgender activists on the front
steps of the county courthouse received
much less publicity than the murder, but
has had greater impact. The intrepid
transgender activists who traveled to
Falls City had no idea what to expect.
The best possible result was that they
would emerge unscathed from this town
that had already claimed the lives of
three people for daring to transgress
gender norms. As it turned out, declaring
to the world their support for the
murdered transsexual was an act of courage
that left them feeling empowered
as never before. Taking on a potentially
dangerous mission, they earned some
serious self-respect.
Subsequent demonstrations included
a rally in Colorado Springs at the sentencing
of Sean O’Neill, a young femaleto-
male transsexual, helping him to receive
fair treatment. A demonstration at
mayor Marion Barry’s office in Washington,
DC helped to reopen the investigation
into the death of Tyra Hunter,
a young transgender who died after a
rescue worker refused to treat her injuries
on discovering that she possessed a
penis. In Boston, over 250 people participated
in a vigil and march to the State
House (in 20 degree cold) in support of
Chanelle Pickett. A transsexual, she was
strangled to death by a man who first
claimed to have done it because he
“didn’t know she was a he,” then
changed his story when he was exposed
as a regular “admirer” of transsexuals.
As they undertook serious political
effort, most transsexual activists lost
interest in the Michigan Women’s Music
Festival. Previously, the festival’s exclusion
of transsexuals had drawn the
focus of TS activism. Following the Brandon
Teena vigil, however, the focus
shifted to more serious hurts, marking
a maturing of the TG activist community.
It takes greater courage to openly
challenge those who would do bodily
harm, instead of those who deny admission
to a party.
An incident of exclusion, rather than
violence, moved TG activism in 1995 to
a national scale as never before. During
the International Conference on
Transgender Law & Employment Policy
in Texas, the Human Rights Campaign
Fund (HRCF) announced that the Employment
Non-Discrimination Act
(ENDA), which would bar discrimination
based on sexual orientation, would
be submitted to Congress without including
transgender discrimination. Several
TG activists at the Texas convention
had lobbied successfully with ENDA
sponsor Senator Jeffords for TG inclusion.
When they heard that their amendment
had been refused, not by some
right-wing politico, but by HRCF (the
leading gay and lesbian lobbying group),
TG activists became enraged. Over the
next few months, they organized a sustained
nationwide campaign of
leafleting at all HRCF fundraising
events. Eventually HRCF invited the TG
activists to talk, and all agreed to work
together for eventual TG inclusion in
ENDA. For the TG community, it was
the first exercise of a newfound political
muscle.
Testing that muscle, TG folk for the
first time turned out en masse to declare
their participation in the process
of government. On October 2 and 3,
1995, about 100 TG activists gathered in
Washington, DC, where they lobbied the
offices of virtually every senator and
representative. For most of those visited,
it was their first time knowingly meeting
more ➟
Invitation
We invite you to open your selves to
the gender realities you will encounter
in the stories and articles in this issue of
Open Hands. Our hope is that these
realities will put you in touch with (or
further deepen your awareness of)
widely emerging discussions about gender
in our culture today.
We invite you also to keep in mind
that the transgendered authors and subjects
of this Open Hands discussion are
individual persons, members of our families,
our congregations, and our communities.
Their sexuality is only part of
their total selves.
For TG/TS folks, we hope that this
issue of Open Hands will in some way
be an aid for sharing yourself with your
religious community, however open or
limited that interaction might be. As
God’s community, we are not whole
without you.
—Editor
6 Open Hands
a transgender person in that environment.
For the TG folk who participated,
it was an unshakably empowering experience
that sent ripples of excitement
through the community.
The year 1995 also saw the first publishing
of IN YOUR FACE, the journal of political
activism against gender oppression,
and also the widespread acceptance of
The Transexual Menace, a direct action
organization. Their commitment to confronting
with love, recognizing that
unruly behavior makes more enemies
than friends, and understanding that
education is best conducted with a smile,
have proven effective in publicizing and
alleviating injustices. The Menace—playing
a lead role in virtually every demonstration
of significance—gives TG activists
a rallying point not of aggression,
but of courage and pride.
Transgender inclusion in other gender-
transgressive groups grew markedly,
mostly without the acrimony and conflict
of HRCF/TG relations. Leaders in
gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities
began declaring support for inclusion
of transgenders in their constituency. At
the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force
national conference in Detroit, a rousing
plenary on inclusion and diversity
was delivered by Dr. Elias Farajaje-Jones,
an imposing and proud dredlocked figure.
An outspoken bisexual, he delivered
his speech in a Transexual Menace Tshirt.
Another key trend in the TG community
has been the emergence of the men,
the female-to-male (FTM) community.
The FTM presence brings a fresh, balancing
perspective to the TG community,
and encourages recognition and
inclusion of more global gender issues.
Their presence also brings greater credibility.
The participation of both MTFs
and FTMs makes it clear that gender
transgression is no longer just a “guy
thing.”
The most amazing thing about the
maturing of the TG community is how
different things were just a year or two
ago. Originally, the Menace were a few
radicals that most TG folk wished would
go away. There was little overt political
activism. When a transsexual was murdered,
everyone sunk their heads and
slunk away, hoping someone else would
do something and glad they weren’t the
victim. TG groups were more concerned
with petty inter-group rivalry than with
joining society as equal members. Passing
was more important than challenging
the gender binary. Inclusion meant
welcoming transsexuals at a transvestite
event. Feminism was merely a way for
crossdressers to feel more feminine.
We’ve come a long way in a short
time. It’s an exciting start. As more and
more people step forward and embrace
more complex understandings of gender
as at least partly socially constructed—
as performance—the momen-
SPEAKING OUT: Nancy Nangeroni demonstrates at Sean O’Neill’s sentencing in
Colorado Springs, Colorado. Sean pled guilty to sexual molestation, after police
pressured parents to bring charges against him, rather than face possible
conviction and thirty-two years in jail for charges hysterically piled up against him.
Photos: Mariette Pathy Allen
tum grows to change forever the way in
which we regard gender. Thank goodness.
It’s long overdue. ▼
Notes
1Judith Butler, Gender Trouble: Feminism and
the Subversion of Identity. New York:
Routledge, 1990. Dr. Butler is professor of
humanities at Johns Hopkins University.
2Phyllis Burke, GenderShock: Exploding the
Myths of Male and Female. New York:
Doubleday Anchor, 1996.
Source
Adapted from an article, “Transgender ’95:
A New Day Dawns” in Sojourner: The
Women’s Forum, February 1996, pp. 9-10.
Used with permission of author.
Nancy Nangeroni lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
She hosts GenderTalk on
WMBR-FM, enjoys
working with other activists,
and serves a variety
of organizations.
Nancy is a board
member of IFGE and
board president of
Project 10 East.
Fall 1996 7
The transgender (TG) community includes several groups of
people who challenge society’s traditional binary notions of
sexual identity and gender identity. These include transsexuals,
crossdressers (formerly transvestites), drag queens and
kings, and female impersonators. All transgress current culturally
prescribed gender roles in this country. Some literature
says feminists could identify as transgender also because they
too transcend prescribed gender roles. For transsexuals, sexual/
gender identity is a daily life event. Crossdressers and drag
queens and kings only occasionally cross the gender lines for
various reasons, being generally content with their biological
sex at birth.
Sexual identity refers to biological identifiers; it is that sense
of being male in a male body or female in a female body. Sex
refers to having genital and reproductive organs identifying a
person as biologically male or female or intersexual (formerly
hermaphrodite). Intersexual refers to having at least some of
both male and female reproductive organs at birth.
Gender identity refers to psychosocial identifiers of being masculine
or feminine, fulfilling cultural/societal roles of what it
means to be a woman or a man. Gender dysphoria is an intense
discontent with one’s physical sex/body, a feeling of being
in the wrong body. Persons desire to possess the body of
the opposite sex and to be regarded as a member of the opposite
gender. Transsexualism refers to any attempt to medically
and/or surgically realign the physical body to match that of
the gender/sexual self identity.
Transsexuals (TS) represent only a small part of the transgender
community. Transsexualism clinically is related to the psychological,
physical, and medical aspects of gender dysphoria.
Primary transsexuals have obvious physical explanations (an
extra chromosome or fetal/puberty developments inconsistent
with the biological internal sex organs at birth). Secondary
transsexuals, more common, usually come to a realization of
their transgenderedness only after years of mental, social, and
emotional confusion. Their condition is often misdiagnosed
as mental problems such as borderline personalities or delusions
resulting from depression.
Sex reassignment refers to possible steps that may be undertaken
to move from one sex to the other. These include nonsurgical
steps such as hormone treatments, facial hair removal,
etc. Sex reassignment surgery involves permanent surgical
refashioning of the genitalia to resemble those of the other
sex. Women may also have mastectomies. Transsexuals may
be male-to-female (referred to as MTF or M2F) or female-tomale
(FTM or F2M). Before surgery, transsexuals are often referred
to as pre-op; after surgery, as post-op. During the long
period of moving from one gender to another, they are said to
be transitioning or living in transition.
Rather than providing an alphabetical “glossary” we have opted for a “logical
progression” of terms which will hopefully help newcomers to this topic make connections
between and among the various terms used by writers in this issue.—Editor.
Sexual orientation refers, not to male/female sexual identity,
but rather to one’s affectional desire for a sexual partner of
one own sex or the other sex. There is as much diversity in
sexual orientation for transsexuals as for non-transsexuals. The
sexual orientation of a transsexual person depends on one’s
gender identity, whether one is pre-op or post-op in legal sexual
status, and one’s actual sexual/affectional preference in a partner.
Only after surgery is complete, and after a successful transition,
can the actual sexual orientation of a TS be clearly understood
and accepted.
Crossdressers represent the largest component of the transgender
community. They are usually heterosexual men (often
“upstanding family men”) who find relief from society’s rigid
role constraints for men by crossdressing. They usually
crossdress in secret, either alone or in one of many well-established
support groups. For many, a component of fantasy, taboo,
and sexual arousal initially exists, but it becomes less
important as they discover a more feminine side of themselves
that is pleasing to experience occasionally. For some,
crossdressing is a short term substitute for intimacy which may
be lacking in their lives at any particular moment.
Drag queens or female impersonators are the most visible to
society, yet represent the smallest percentage of the transgender
community. Most are gay men. For some gay men, their
drag queen persona is a way to express their feminine side.
However, drag queens and female impersonators typically
crossdress to entertain or for the money from doing so. Some
unfortunately like to shock people, or to make fun of women,
or even attract other men for sexual purposes. Some crossdress
for illicit or deceitful intentions. Drag kings are lesbians who
enjoy crossdressing as men, although most do not try to “pass”
as men.
Male privilege system is a phrase referring to the basic sexism
bias in our society. It shows up in transgendered issues in the
fact that most women, heterosexual or lesbian, feel free to
crossdress without adverse reaction from society. This gender
reality seems to be a function of the binary sex/gender system
which privileges and prizes what is male and masculine over
what is female and feminine.
Sources
Thanks to Ashley, Gloria, Vanessa, Rica, Andrea, Nancy, Caroline,
Brenda, PFLAG, and others whose definitions influenced this statement.
Note that not everyone defines these terms the same way, so
you’ll want to check out how people are using terms in any readings
or conversations.—Editor.
8 Open Hands
The former editor of Concord interviews
a lifelong Lutheran who is transsexual.
Jim: At what emotional/physical point does one consider one’s
self to be a transgendered person?
Rica: Wow, you’ve started off with a tough one! To me transgendered
means somehow differently gendered, feeling
or expressing your gender in ways that are at odds with
the usual physical or symbolic expressions of female and
male.... It’s a very broad term with fuzzy boundaries,
really, and it would be presumptuous of me to define
just where those borders are. I’m transgendered, obviously—
the doctor said, “it’s a boy” and then I came out
as a woman (and changed physically in some significant
ways). But Leslie Feinberg is a transgendered woman, too,
with a complex personal gender history. You can get some
idea of what she’s been through if you read Stone Butch
Blues. I know a number of women (most of whom are
not transsexual) who identify as transgendered because
they feel “somewhere between” female and male, and a
few men with similar feelings. Then there are lots of
people who like to crossdress or play with gender roles
for pleasure on occasion. Some intersexual people (born
with genitals considered to be intermediate between the
two usual types) also include themselves in the transgender
community....
Jim: When did you “come out as a woman”?
Rica: ...In my early teens it became a very strong emotional
issue. But coming out to others really started in my early
thirties, to just a couple of close friends. Then I came out
to my brother at thirty-five, to a peer counselor, a therapist,
a TS support group, my parents, and my pastor at
thirty-six, to the world at large at thirty-eight or thirtynine.
Jim: When we spoke at Assembly ‘94 you used the phrase “out
of the pit, into the woodwork” as a description of the
transgendered experience....
Rica: The expressions aren’t mine; I saw them in an article by
Xanthra Phillippa in the first issue of the [maga]zine
gendertrash, which was published about 1992.... Many
transsexual/transgendered people experience two kinds
of gender closets at different times in our lives. To put it
in personal terms, before transition (when I passed unwillingly
as a man) I concealed my most basic sense of
who I was as a gendered person; I was “in the pit.” When
I began to live openly as a woman, I “came out of the
pit.” Many of us, after making our transition, find it necessary
in a transphobic society to avoid drawing attention
to our background. As a result, we go “into the woodwork,”
a more suitable closet, in which at least we express
our gender identity more honestly than before. But
[we] are afraid to share with others some of the most
profoundly formative and difficult experiences of our
lives, and afraid of having our lives disrupted, our safety
threatened, if someone should discover that we were born
and developed differently than most women or men.
Jim: How does this quote relate to your life experience?
Rica: I don’t really feel I [am] in the woodwork. I’m pretty open
about my transsexuality in all my communities. I have
been so since 1993 when I participated in an educational
action at the Michigan Women’s Music Festival and followed
up with interviews...in both of the Philadelphia
area gay papers.
With increased political networking and other support
systems, it’s becoming possible for more of us to be out
of the woodwork now. It’s often said that our political
situation is similar to that of the lesbian and gay communities
twenty to twenty-five years ago, not long after
Stonewall. We still don’t have any legal protection in
most places....
Jim: How do you feel about your relationship with Lutherans
Concerned/North America (LC/NA) in specific and the
church in general?
Rica: Well, I’ve found wonderful support in the congregation
where I’m a member, and in the Delaware Valley chapter
of LC (which my pastor suggested I join).... At Assembly
1992 I only came out to two or three people. It’s a tribute
to the sense of safety I felt at Assembly that I did even
that, at the time.
As for the church in general, well, I’m a lesbian. I feel
marginalized by the homophobic politics the ELCA is
playing with the sexuality study and their sanctions and
threats against congregations that choose openly lesbian
and gay pastors. Sometimes I feel just about out of patience
with the ELCA as an organization. My heart is
with Ruth and Phyllis, and Jeff, and Ross, and Janie Spahr
in the Presbyterian church, and the congregations that
share in and support their ministries. ▼
Source
Excerpted from an article in Concord, 1995-1, the newsletter of
Lutherans Concerned/North America. Used with permission.
Jim Kocher-Hillmer was editor of Concord from 1992 to 1995. Rica
Ashby Fredrickson is a lifelong Lutheran and member of LC/NA.
Fall 1996 9
In Transition: Vignettes
The goal of most transsexuals is to appear as an ordinary person—in the
target gender. Getting to that point often involves relearning how to
walk, gesture, sit, dress, wear one’s hair, even talk. There are also new
rules to learn for social situations. It is gratifying to find oneself finally
“there”—at the place where we come across to the rest of the population
as we are to ourselves. Finally hearing that “ma’am” or “sir” can
feel like a medal of honor.
By Gloria R. Terrill
December 1994
I was driving home from
Florida where I had been
visiting my son whom I had not seen in
fifteen years. Knowing that I would be
on the road, I decided not to shave on
Saturday morning. When I stopped for
coffee Sunday morning, I walked into a
diner wearing jeans, my Indiana
sweatshirt, a state trooper type jacket,
and black lace-up shoes. I sat on a stool
at the counter.
I was alone except for two women
and one teenage girl. The larger of the
two women came over to me. Saying
“Excuse me, ma’am,” she reached down
by the base of my stool and picked up
something. Seeing my apprehensive
look, she quickly added that she wasn’t
going to hurt me. For about forty-five
minutes while I was there, she called me
“ma’am” each time she addressed me.
About four hours later, at a rest stop
in Tennessee, a woman was returning
to the adjacent car. I made a comment
about the temperature. We talked for
about three minutes, when her husband
returned. The woman said to her husband,
“She was just telling me that she
had just left Florida. We were talking
about the weather there.”
It almost seems that the scruffier I
look, the more feminine I appear to be!
I must be doing a better job at incorporating
the non-verbal clues than I give
myself credit for. I find myself being
pleasantly surprised when I am pegged
as a female while wearing no makeup
and no “female” clothing. What’s a
mother to do!
June 1995
An openly gay friend invited
me to apply for work at the
department store where he worked. I had
been living full time as a woman for
about six months then. As it turns out,
the personnel director went out on sick
leave. A few months later, the store got
a new director since it didn’t look like
the other was returning any time soon.
My friend asked the new director if she
had called me. He told her about my
transgender status. She replied, “We’re
not allowed to discriminate.” She called
me in.
By the time this happened, another
several months had passed and I was
even more comfortable in my new life.
My mannerisms and voice were all acceptable.
At home in heels or flats, I
passed easily— even when I felt I looked
a fright.
The interview went well. The director
offered me my choice of two full
time openings. I chose electronics. She
called in the store manager since that
department had no manager.
As I waited outside her office, he
walked past me into her office and
closed the door behind him. In a few
minutes he came back out, walked past
me again. A minute later, she came out
holding my resume and application. She
simply said “We have no positions we
can offer you at this time.” Needless to
say, my friend and his supervisor, who
were rooting for me, were seriously disappointed.
I called the Civil Liberties Union in
my state. They said “Sorry. If you were
gay or black, we could help, but the
transgendered have no legal protection
in this state.” Even though I was told that
no lawyer would touch such a case, I
thought about it. But I realized that even
though they might decide to hire me,
they would soon fire me for some ridiculous
reason. I didn’t want to quit my
current job for that, so I kept looking.
June 1996
I have been working as a
woman for almost a year
and a half in a restaurant kitchen. By
this time, I pass well as a woman even
when I look totally frazzled and don’t
expect to. The kitchen is a jeans and Tshirt
environment—we all dress the
same. I wear earrings, make up, and use
bobby pins to hold my hat on so it
doesn’t flatten out my bangs by the end
of the day.
Even though I know I pass, a little
doubt remains, so I occasionally ask a
friend how they perceive me. For instance,
I thought everyone in the restaurant
knew about my transition. So
after a new hire had worked with me
for three weeks, I asked, “You know
what’s going on for me, don’t you?”
“Concerning what?” she queried.
“You know that I wasn’t born with
female parts, don’t you?”
“No.” she answered.
I realized that until then she had perceived
me as just another woman—exactly
what I wanted. Oops! ▼
Gloria R. Terrill is a
certified scuba diver,
avid gardener, and
amateur photographer.
She likes paranormal
and science fiction
shows, light jazz, and
a good book.
10 Open Hands
A Friend’s Call
We stayed in contact over the years
while our military careers took
us to different continents, Jessy to
Panama and me to Germany. Often
Jessy’s mother was the home base we
used to keep up with changing addresses.
It was in March of 1993 that I
got a call from Jessy asking my help as a
caregiver. At the time I was collecting
unemployment and considering pursuit
of a Master of Divinity degree in the fall.
I had gotten off active duty nine months
prior— a casualty of the military drawdown
after the fall of the Berlin Wall
and the demise of the Warsaw Pact. Jessy
had opted out sooner— a result not of
losing a love of the profession but a combination
of events that deemed separation
from the service necessary. I had
been aware that in those post-military
years my friend had begun the work of
actualizing in physical terms an internal
reality. My friend Jessy was now
known to me as Caleb.*
When Caleb called that March, he
asked if I could fill the role of caretaker
after the sex reassignment surgery that
would continue the process of achieving
internal and external gender confirmation.
I was immediately hit with a
Jessy* and I met in the fall of 1982 at
our first military duty station. We
were both enthusiastic lieutenants,
as green as the uniforms we wore. We
were devoted to our soldiers and our
missions— and we were also both gay
women in a very male dominated world.
At least that’s what I thought then. Later
I would learn that our closets were actually
of different parameters.
Rugby was the activity that brought
us together. I saw a small article in the
post newspaper soliciting for players on
the women’s team. As a longtime athlete
who had never played rugby, I decided
to try the sport. During the course
of the season I got to know Jessy only as
well as anyone could, based on the distance
that always seemed to be a factor
in any attempts to really communicate.
Yet, in a conversation held late one
night, I became aware that Jessy was
wrestling with fundamental questions
of self-identity that far surpassed the
normal passages of being twenty-somethings.
Driven by my own questions
about sexuality, I had read enough to
know that there were people who believed
that their gender did not match
the body they inhabited. I was able to
understand, at least superficially, that
this was the reality for Jessy.
sense of awe at the request. I was very
aware of Caleb’s vulnerability in venturing
such a request since I had suffered
through a stage of debility years
before due to a broken leg. I was also
humbled by the trust it indicated in our
friendship—a friendship that had existed
without the luxury of seeing each other
for seven years.
Caleb met me at the airport. Reviewing
my journal entry for that day, I am
reminded of the overwhelming perceptions
I had at the meeting. I recognized
immediately that Caleb was much more
relaxed, happy, and at ease than Jessy
had ever been. My androgynous female
friend—tall, slim, and with strong square
shoulders that had formerly made her
(supposedly) a readily recognizable
member of the lesbian population—was
replaced by a man. Caleb stood taller,
was robust in appearance, and had a
beard that made him a dead ringer for
Matthew Broderick.
The next two weeks afforded us the
opportunity to reconnect as friends—
to relive stories of our days in military
service. As comrades-in-arms, that language
will be with us all our lives. The
days after the surgery were filled with
pain for Caleb and with anxiety on my
By Hope Smith
Fall 1996 11
Women Passing as Men
Doña Catalina de Erauzo, born in 1592
in Spain, was a South American Robin
Hood for fifteen years. Her true sex was
revealed when she needed major surgery
for a wound. Her fame, however,
was so great that when she returned
to Europe, she was treated as a hero
and continued to pass as a man all the
rest of her life.
James Miranda Barry, born in 1795, was
the first woman doctor in England. Having
earned her medical degree from
Edinburgh College while still in her
teens, she lived as a man all her life.
Her “true sex” was only discovered during
an autopsy.
Ellen Craft, a light-skinned black
woman, crossdressed as a young white
master in 1848 and escaped slavery in
the South to Philadelphia with her husband
acting as her slave.
Kaúxuma Núpika, a nineteenth century
Native American woman of the Kutenai
tribe, changed her name from “Mary
White Pete” to “Gone to the Spirits” and
wore men’s leggings, shirt, and breech
cloth. Known as a female berdache, her
change came after a dream where “spirits
changed her sex and gave her spiritual
power.” She married twice, both
times to women. She is remembered
for leading military campaigns and for
helping to negotiate a Flathead-
Blackfoot peace treaty.
Billy Tipton, who died in 1989, probably
began passing as a man (according
to her wife) in order to play the piano
and saxophone during the Big Band
era in the U.S. when women were only
allowed to sing. Her adopted sons knew
her as a man until her sex was discovered
at her death.
Source
Lesbian Lists by Dell Richards. See especially
pages 175-200 for numerous lists of crossdressers
and those who might be known
today as “pre-op transsexuals.”
part. We experienced the process of healing
together— each from our own perspective.
For me, the experience was akin
to birth. I felt as if I were taking part in
the emergence of a new person. Of
course, internally Caleb was the same
friend I had known all along.
A Friend’s Touch
What amazing insight I was given
into the way in which we relate
to someone of a gender other than our
own. I still have a kind of upside-down,
inside-out feeling when I consider the
fact that I thought my army buddy, my
teammate, was a gay woman and now I
know my friend was always a straight
man. This caused me to face the assumptions
we make about people and the
ensuing behavior it generates in us and
in them.
That first military assignment we
shared together was only the first of
many times when I balanced pride and
love of the career of service with the
absolute need at times to be myself with
other gay and lesbian people. I was quite
successful in resolving these two facts
of my life. I can not fathom the pain it
must have caused Caleb to be a member
of our group—identified by all of us
as someone so distant from his internal
reality. Even when our group was out
of the closet with each other, Caleb was
still in a hidden place.
There are many more details of the
journey I have shared with Caleb. However,
the essence for me is the courage
Caleb has demonstrated in the face of
so many obstacles over the course of that
journey. And through it all has been the
joy of our friendship. The touch of
Caleb’s life on mine has been such a
blessing from a gracious Creator— a God
who grants each of us the gift of a divine
spark which transcends the dimension
of the earthen vessel we inhabit. ▼
Note
*All names in this article, including the
author’s, have been changed.
Hope Smith attends Candler School of
Theology in Atlanta, Georgia. Caleb currently
works in the health care field with
other veterans.
12 Open Hands
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456789012345678901212345678901234567890123456789012123456789012345678901234567890121234567890123456
I did not wake up one day and decide
to wear a dress. I guess I was about
four when I put on my first dress. At
such a small age I remember very little.
I do remember putting on my mother’s
lipstick and her finding out. Still, a lot
of little boys go through this stage.
When I was about eight to eleven, I tried
on my sister’s dresses and put on my
first bra. I would sneak in and put on
the clothing of my sister’s friends when
they stayed over night.
As an older teen, I went to proms. I
had a deep desire to be one of the girls
in the long beautiful prom dresses, so
pretty and so very special. (A prom dress
was one of the first items I bought, once
my wife allowed such things.) I dated
girls and enjoyed being around them
much more than being one of the guys
playing baseball or basketball or any
other sport, but I tried. Contrary to
popular beliefs about crossdressers, I was
never attracted to guys. I never liked
being a guy and never felt attracted to
one, then or now. I never had sex before
I was married at age twenty. I truly
felt in my heart that these desires to be
a girl and wear their clothing were due
to the sexual suppression I felt in my
teen years from the strictness of the
church and my beliefs. I even told my
wife-to-be that I felt these crossgender
desires would cease when we were married
(they did not).
My wife and I were married in 1974.
We took communion at our wedding
because we wanted God to be in
the center of our lives. Within three
years we had begun a puppet ministry
that superseded any other in our area
or surrounding states. I give the credit
to God for our ability to amaze children
with stories, songs, puppet shows, and
gospel illustrations. We also began a
ministry to assist those in need in the
county where we lived (one of the poorest
in our state). We started with one
family with three children. The year
before our divorce we, along with local
churches and others with whom we
worked, supplied toys and Christmas
dinner for one hundred families and two
hundred fifty children. During this time
we also taught Children’s Church in
several local churches, opened a clothing
building, helped others with gas and
electric bills, and did all we could do to
show others that God loved them and
cared about them as persons.
During our eighth year of marriage,
my wife found my hidden box of
women’s clothing. She felt I was very
sick and said so. We went to counseling
for “my problem.” After a while she was
told that she must decide if she loved
me enough to continue the marriage.
She did! Slowly, over the next ten years,
she did her best to accept me for who I
am, even buying me girl clothes for my
birthday and Christmas, hoping that it
would burn itself out. During those
years we talked often of “my problem.”
About fifteen years into our marriage,
the rejection and the condemnation that
the things I did were not right began to
affect our sex life. I was not giving her
the attention she deserved because I felt
any closeness would be perceived as
“let’s make love” which I didn’t want to
do. I guess I felt so unworthy of love. As
I look back, this was the beginning of
the end. We went to church regularly
and did our very best to be servants of
God. We fasted and prayed with many
tears for this secret “problem” to pass.
Yet God continued to bless us and our
ministry right up until the day of our
divorce.
On January 25, 1993, my wife of eighteen
years said she could no longer deal
with the girl inside my hidden life. I had
told her years before never to ask me to
choose between her and Tiffany, for I
knew I could not say no to the girl
within. She did not understand that it
was a matter of being content in my
heart and loving myself, which I had
never done in the past. I will always love
the wife of my youth.
After my wife and I separated, I went
to a Christian counselor. He and I
prayed to God for an answer as to why
these things had entered my life. With
no answers to “my problem” and with
the guilt and condemnation put on me
by others, I began to feel more and more
unworthy of life and more separated
from society. I had lost my church and
my wife, who was also my best friend.
Now I was told that I was a very selfish
person for letting this control my life,
that it was like I was having an affair
with another woman. My counselor
believed that some type of trauma had
occurred in my younger days, even in
my mother’s womb. I asked, “So God
created me, Mom and Dad screwed it up,
and now it’s up to me to fix it?” He said,
with hesitation, “Yes, I believe so.” I told
him I did not accept that. Shortly after
Standing Tall:
A Crossdresser’s Story
By Tiffany S.
Fall 1996 13
that, I left his care. Now I go to a secular
counselor. She has helped me begin to
love myself as God has created me.
I still feel the touch of God on my
life. I still feel I have a mission to show
the love of God to anyone who feels he
or she is an outcast. Being a transgender
person, I felt for awhile that I was
an outcast of the outcast.
Today my life is filled with a church
that shows the true love of God.
Even though they may not understand
my motives, they accept me as the
woman I feel is trapped inside my seeking
heart. That is rare in the church
world today. You can come to church
as an adulterer and even with the smell
of liquor on your breath, but come
dressed as female when you are male and
stones are cast. Of course, no one minds
if a woman wears pants, the only basic
clothing a man has. I have met several
transgendered people who were asked
to rid themselves of their women’s clothing
and repent of their sins or else leave
the church. I wonder how Christ feels
about this type of love? “We will love
you only if you follow our rules.” I guess
that is just about how my ex-wife put it.
Has God given me up to a reprobate
mind as I have been taught? Is my life
just one big sin? Because I am different,
my life has been very lonely and the
rejection at times almost unbearable.
Except for the love and encouragement
of my mother and father, I would have
surely ended it. They have stood beside
me. I know their hearts are heavy at the
way others have dealt with my life, for
we all lived in a small county community
and rumors abounded. My life goes
beyond being a crossdresser. It seems
that the only ones who understand me
are other crossdressers I have encountered
recently. We now have a support
group in our town and we work with
the local Mental Health Association.
How do I truly put into words what
my life has been and what it is like to
feel so different on the inside when others
only see the outside? This is not a
sexual issue. It is a gender issue. Sometimes
a person’s sex does not match his
gender. We are not perverts. We do not
desire children sexually. We just desire
Wéwha of Zuni
(1849-1896)
Zuni Pueblo, in western New
Mexico, honored three genders
before the coming of Anglo
Protestant missionaries. Men who chose
not to become hunters and warriors
became lhamana, members of an alternative
gender that bridged the other
two. While they were initiated into male
religious societies, they became crafts
specialists and wore female garb. They
were nonwarriors who moved freely in
the male and female worlds.
Wéwha was a Zuni lhamana who
helped bridge his culture and that of
Anglo-Americans. As a Zuni cultural
ambassador to Washington, D.C., he
mixed with “high society” and no one
guessed he was not a woman. He assisted
Anglo scholars who came to record the
ways of his people, and at the same time, resisted Anglo incursions when they seemed
improper—once even ending up in jail.
He was a deeply spiritual person. In this icon he is shown garbed as the manwoman
kachina, Kolhamana, a role he filled during his life. His hands and face are
painted ceremonially and he is ready to place the sacred mask on his face. He was well
loved throughout his life and his death brought grief to Zuni. The rainbow spirit
above his head emphasizes that he is now one of the holy ones who return to their
people with blessings. His photograph hangs in the tribal museum today. ▼
Icon © by Robert Lentz. Original in full color. Text adapted from back of icon notecard published
by Bridge Building Images, P.O. Box 1048, Burlington, VT 05402. Both are used with
permission.
rejection—as well as my return to stand
tall and tell others that I am a transgender
person. I am “gender-gifted.” I am
that which God has created for his purpose.
God has always been there for me
and said he would never leave me. ▼
Tiffany S. is a lab technician
in West Virginia.
to live our lives in a peaceful and accepting
way and to be loved.
We have existed all through history.
The American Indians treated those like
us with respect, for it was believed that
these individuals had the spirits of two
people. Maybe we do! It is quite an experience
to view the world as a man
and then later the same day go to the
same places and view the world as a
woman.
Today I feel I am a very unique person
to have been chosen to tell the story
of my heart’s losses, my sadness, and my
14 Open Hands
Jeanne: What are some stereotypes and
myths about gender?
Andrea: Men are hard; women are soft.
A man leads; a woman follows. Men are
heads of households; women are homemakers.
There are only men and women.
They need each other to be complete.
One does not have the right to change
something as basic as gender. These stereotypes
and myths limit us all in the
fulfillment and enjoyment of our lives.
Part of the construction of the transsexual
experience comes from the rigidity
of cultural gender roles.
Jeanne: Can you say more about that?
Andrea: Transsexuals are really trying
to follow the heterosexual model almost
to the letter. If we could step outside the
dichotomous heterosexual model, life
would be more healthy. But most transsexuals
grow up in environments that
have rigid social constructions of gender.
They therefore experience a great
sense of deviance for violating those
social standards.
Jeanne: I’ve heard you talk about deviance
before. Tell me more.
Andrea: I struggled to conform to what
others saw: boy/male/man. But that is
not how I saw myself. So I experienced
a sense of social deviance that stemmed
from a concern about violating the
“sanctity of natural creation.” In a situation
of discomfort with the supposed
naturally created gender order, one’s
sense of personal integrity is severely
threatened. Integrity is the only thing I
have to support my esteem and selfworth
as an individual, to keep my life
from being empty. When someone attacks
my integrity, it rips me apart, to
the essence of my soul.
Jeanne: What does your experience tell
us about our cultural gender roles?
Andrea: In our culture, women develop
more intimate friendships, while male
friendships are more casual. So femaleto-
male transsexuals end up expecting
their friendships with other men to be
much more intimate and intense than
men’s friendships usually are. Male-tofemale
transsexuals (MTF), on the other
hand, are really struck by power differentials.
There are things women cannot
say directly as women. They are expected
to negotiate what men can just
claim. The very question, “Why am I
being excluded?”—when voiced by a
MTF transsexual—reflects the privilege
of growing up as a heterosexual male.
MTF transsexuals often become very angry
that, as women, they must negotiate
to get their needs met.
Jeanne: What would happen if gender
roles weren’t so clearly defined?
Andrea: Fewer people would pursue
surgical solutions and shove themselves
into a dichotomous model.
Jeanne: Is it ultimately a mistake to undergo
surgical correction?
Andrea: No, but if gender roles were
more fluid, fewer people would need to
pursue surgical solutions. It’s important
that society develop more fluid gender
role expectations and be open and accepting
of those who found that a surgical
solution was the most congruent
way to resolve their gender dysphoria.
As we seek integrity and coherence, we
each make the best decision we can. ▼
Jeanne G. Knepper,
Ph.D., is an ordained
elder and director
of Shalom Ministries
in the Oregon-Idaho
Annual Conference,
UMC.
Andrea Abernethy, a
Shalom Ministries participant,
is active at
University Park UMC,
a Reconciling Congregation
in Portland.
SHIFTING
THEORIES
Myths, Stereotypes, and
Gender Role Realities
By Jeanne Knepper and Andrea Abernethy
Fall 1996 15
change feasible and available. Christine
Jorgensen’s announcement of her 1952
operation brought clinicians a flood of
requests from transsexuals.
For some time, medical and popular
thought has been that one’s sex (physical),
sexual identity (psychological), and
gender (psychological/social) identities
are the same, or that they “normally”
coincide: male-bodied/man/masculine,
female-bodied/woman/feminine. That
is, we have considered that sexual identity
and gender are located within, or
are at least connected with, the body.
Under this theory, transsexualism can
be defined as having a male sexual identity
and a masculine gender identity but
female genitalia, or a female sexual identity
and the gender identity of a woman
in a body with male reproductive equipment.
In this theory, sex change is
viewed as a corrective, a restoration of
the body-sex-gender match that “should
have been.” Transsexual people who request
a sex change (sex reassignment),
and physicians assisting them, are working
out of these assumptions.1
However, some researchers think that
sexual identity and gender identity are
independent and don’t always “normally”
coincide as male-man or femalewoman.
They believe that some cases of
transsexualism, then, are not a rejection
of the birth-assigned sex, but can simply
be instances where sex and gender
don’t match. Some non-TS trangendered
people, regardless of their sexual identity,
have a non-specific gender identity.2
There is, in addition, a substantial
body of opinion in several fields of study
and among some transgendered groups
that gender is largely or entirely a social
construction, a learned set of attitudes
and behaviors that is flexible
rather than being fixed and biologically
determined. These critics of the biological
theories, including some non-TS
Should society view transgendered/
transsexual (TG/TS) people as a
sexual minority group or as mentally
ill people? It depends on whom you
ask. The medical, psychiatric, and social
science communities do not agree on a
core set of concepts or approaches. Many
transgendered persons have views that
contradict those of the professionals.
Terminology, too, is inconsistent. The
present medical and lay discourse and
the fluidity of language are reminiscent
of what was happening around language
of sexual orientation not so many years
ago. Remember, although the Kinsey
reports came out in 1948 and 1953, until
the 1970s homosexuality was still on
the books as mental illness. Bisexuality
was widely ignored until the late 1980s.
In both instances, change occurred
through activism plus new knowledge
from research and social theorists.
Sex and Gender: Basics
To understand transgender we must
understand the difference between
modern concepts of sex and gender. Sex
and gender become entwined in our discussion,
often in ways that defy logic
or consistency. People—even medical/
therapeutic professionals— mix or
switch between biological and social
concepts without seeming to realize it.
Sex refers to biological maleness and
femaleness and is based on physiological
features of the reproductive system
and chromosomes. Intersexuality (hermaphroditism)
identifies those who at
birth have some parts of both male and
female reproductive organs. Early in life
an individual forms a sexual identity, that
is, a sense that being male/male-bodied
or being a female person within one’s
female body is part of one’s selfhood.
Gender is psychological and social,
separate from but possibly linked to
body sex. Societies have template expectations—
however widely or narrowly
conceived or overlapping— of how a girl/
woman or boy/man feels, thinks, and
acts. Gender identity is an individual’s
sense of belonging in and fulfilling this
social role. Gender dysphoria is a state of
extreme discomfort with one’s assigned
sex because one’s sexual identity and
gender identity don’t match the body.
No one knows how either sexual
identity or gender identity develops—
whether inborn, acquired from the sociocultural
environment, or a combination—
but there are opinions on all sides.
Confusingly, we also use the term
“sexual identity” to refer to one’s sexual
orientation as a bisexual, a lesbian, or a
gay man, but this is a concept different
from male-female sexual identity. Sexual
orientation refers to one’s potential to
be erotically attracted to the same and/
or the other sex. Transgendered people
can have any sexual orientation. As with
everyone else, the most reliable indicator
of sexual orientation is the
individual’s self-definition.
Theories and Critics
Transgenderism is not new and is not
only a Western occurrence. Many
types by many names have been reported
in most cultures and back
through history and legend to ancient
times. As with all forms of otherness,
attitudes toward transgender in various
cultures and eras have ranged from persecution
to tolerance to reverence. Such
persons are sometimes perceived as having
special spiritual insights. Some societies
accommodate transgendered individuals
by creating special practices
or social relationships.
The transsexual form of transgenderism
is not new, either, but it has newly
emerged as a clinical diagnosis and social
issue since the 1950s. That is when
surgical techniques and knowledge of
endocrinology and hormone therapy
had developed sufficiently to make sex more ➟
Medical/Therapeutic Processes--
and their Critics
By Caroline Presnell
16 Open Hands
transgendered people, argue that TS is a
product of society’s gender role stereotyping.
Some charge that it was partly
created by and is perpetuated by a selfserving
sex change industry. They see sex
change as buying into gender stereotypes
of masculinity and femininity
rather than rebelling against them.3
Diagnosis and Treatment
Medical doctors and therapists today
both generally consider transsexualism
(TS) an illness, but they disagree
on how to treat it. The medical
diagnosis of TS has been described as a
negotiating process between the patient
and the medical team. The main “symptom”
is a strong demand for sex change.
Some patients and doctors are content
with partial alterations— without genital
surgery—such as reduction of the
Adam’s apple, mastectomy, or hormone
treatment. Doctors say that they perform
the surgery to alleviate severe psychological
suffering. Indeed, to qualify for
the full range of change procedures, a
transsexual’s distress must appear extreme,
even suicidal.
The American Psychiatric Association
defines transsexualism as extreme gender
dysphoria, a psychological condition
with no physiological symptoms at all.
Their practitioners do not advocate surgical
remedies except reluctantly to address
acute suffering. However, psychological
counseling alone has been no
more effective in changing gender identity
to match anatomy than it has been
for changing sexual orientation. Transsexualism
thus gets treated by drastic
physiological intervention where, usually,
relief is achieved.
To desire or submit to the severe alteration
of a healthy body, one’s motivation
must surely be extreme. Surgical
procedures such as removal or internal
relocation of testes, mastectomy, excision
of the penis, and construction of
an artificial vagina or penis are obviously
very traumatic, very expensive,
and are seldom covered by health insurance.
Recuperation is long and painful,
sometimes with repeat surgeries.
The changes are also irreversible.
The screening process for acceptance
for surgery is intended to help individuals
be very sure they want the procedures
and have a good chance of adjusting to
the new sex/gender. In addition to extensive
psychological testing and interviewing,
candidates are required to go
through a transition period of about a
year during which they must live full
time as the desired gender. Usually hormone
therapy proceeds in the transition,
so physical characteristics such as
hair growth patterns and body fat distribution
begin to change. Success in
passing in the new role largely determines
final eligibility for surgery.
Many critics charge that the standard
measurements of masculinity and femininity
used by clinical teams to determine
the patient’s degree of gender role
deviation are formulated on narrow stereotyped
images of gender roles. Transsexuals,
in order to demonstrate their
condition as needing remedy and their
qualifications for receiving it, must conform
to behaviors that many other
groups are modifying or rejecting. This
is especially true for the “feminine”
characteristics expected of male-to-female
transsexuals. Yet, most transsexuals
assert that this is what they have always
wanted, what they always were, and
that the changes are a matter of bringing
to the outside what was previously
already inside.
Sex Change Realities
Most individuals identifying as
transsexuals say they “always
knew” they had the “wrong” body. Often
the discomfort and the cross-gender
behavior starts in childhood. They experience
their bodies as alien, even repulsive.
They may crossdress part time
or full time. For many, the psychological
pain is intense and some turn to substance
abuse to ease it. They report a lifetime
of feeling that they don’t fit in, of
rejection and/or ridicule. Echoing lesbigay
history, many transsexuals deal with
their pain and confusion in isolation.
Does what’s accomplished with sex
change procedures really equal the new
sex? The chromosomes haven’t
changed. The new body will need constant
maintenance for life— for example,
with makeup or electrolysis— and would
at least partially revert if hormones were
discontinued. The individual cannot
perform the reproductive functions of
the new sex. Except for the transition
period and perhaps some experience in
“passing,” there is no history of being
in the world as the other sex and gender,
no accumulated set of responses or
ways to be “in” the gender.
Some people after their surgery feel
that something is still missing, and a
small number have severe adjustment
problems. But despite the limitations,
and perhaps due partly to the screening
process, most are very happy with the
changes. They feel immense relief. They
feel proud of the new body. They go on
with ordinary productive lives and relationships,
feeling better equipped
than before.
As long as our culture continues to
operate under the assumption that there
are two distinct sexes and genders, some
transgendered people will seek sex
change surgery in order to better fit their
internal realities to their external ones.
And other TG people will continue to
challenge that binary assumption, seeking
to break down the very notion that
only two sexes/genders exist. ▼
Notes
1Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw (New York:
Routledge, 1994), p. 30; Bernice L. Hausman,
Transsexualism (Durham: Duke Univ. Press,
1995), pp. 7-26, 41-43, 77, 147, 153-58, 166,
199; John Money, Gendermaps (New York:
Continuum, 1995). Although these authors
do not specifically separate the three factors,
I believe the division can be educed from
their writings.
2Michael Z. Fleming, et. al., “Questioning
Current Definitions of Gender Identity,”
Archives of Sexual Behavior 9, no. 1, (1980):13-
26; Holly Devor, “Sexual Orientation Identities,
Attractions, and Practices of Femaleto
Male Transsexuals,” The Journal of Sex
Research 30 (November 1993):303-315.
3Holly Devor, ibid; Hausman. op. cit., pp.
107, 185-94; Suzanne J. Kessler and Wendy
McKenna, Gender: An Ethnomethodological
Approach (Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press,
1985); Janice G. Raymond, The Transsexual
Empire (New York/London: Columbia Univ.
Teachers College Press, 1994).
Caroline Presnell is a
member of Wheadon
United Methodist
Church, a Reconciling
Congregation in Evanston,
Illinois.
Fall 1996 17
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:
SEXUAL INTEGRITY
By Mary E. Hunt
The glacial pace of change on matters
sexual, especially in Christian
church circles, prompts me to
propose a new way to think about the
issues at hand. Patience is not a virtue
when peoples’ lives are at stake. Integrity
is.
The droning debates about sexual
identity, sexual preference, and sexual
orientation all bog down at the point
where science and theology meet, both
coming up empty handed on the whys
and wherefores of human love.
I encourage the continued research
that will help us sort out the biological
from the environmental, nature from
nurture. Along with many students of
these matters, I suspect that a complex
interaction of factors will show that neither
side is finally determinative. Add
to the mix the emerging literature on
transgendered people, and what becomes
clear is that binary categories—
he-she, heterosexual-homosexual—have
long outlived their usefulness. Still, integrity
has its place.
A great debate as the U.S.A. gears up
for the next census is how to count the
multiracial people among us, the children
of people from different races. So,
too, I predict, will census takers face the
dilemma shortly that the gender categories
are far too few to encompass the
variety among us.
Martine Rothblatt, a post-op male-tofemale
transsexual who has a successful
career in law and business, genderchange
notwithstanding, writes: “In the
future, labeling people at birth as ‘male’
or ‘female’ will be considered just as
unfair as South Africa’s now-abolished
practice of stamping ‘black’ or ‘white’
on people’s ID cards.”1 Rothblatt suggests
colors as a useful set of categories
for describing sexuality, insisting that
just as colors come in an endless series
of hues, so too do our sexualities come
cise terminology that is difficult to
quantify, even harder to translate across
cultures, races, and time.
In light of this, I propose that the
debate in church circles be conducted
using sexual integrity as the primary
category. This is not a Jesuitical way of
passing over the dilemmas of modern
biological and social sciences, but an attempt
to contribute a constructive element
to the debate from a theo-ethical
starting point.
Integrity means wholeness. Wholeness
suggests that we strive for, and encourage
one another to achieve, the
healthy integration of oneself in a community
which comes from achieving a
“fit” between who we say we are and
who others perceive us to be.
Integrity also means moral soundness,
honesty, a moral “fit” between
what I say and what I do. This is even
more difficult to achieve in a society and
in churches where “don’t ask, don’t tell”
is epidemic. But it is a challenge which
would make some thrice-married
congressmembers cease and desist in
their efforts to legislate the “defense of
marriage.” It would level the ethical playing
field for future discussions, which,
in itself, would be a good first step toward
sexual justice. ▼
Note
1Martine Rothblatt, The Apartheid of Sex: A
Manifesto on the Freedom of Gender, (New
York: Crown, 1995), p. 1.
Mary E. Hunt, a feminist
theologian, is codirector
of WATER, the
Women’s Alliance for
Theology, Ethics and
Ritual in Silver Spring,
Maryland.
in a variety of ways. Regardless of what
one thinks of the analogy, the larger
point is that the more we know about
sexuality the more we discover just how
differentiated it really is.
This is the social context in which
church people debate issues of same-sex
love. When listened to through the ears
of postmodern people who acknowledge
a tremendous diversity and deem it
good, if still somewhat confusing, the
categories of the debate—“practicing,”
“self-affirming,” “unrepentant”—seem
ever so quaint, not to say a little silly.
Concretely, the pastoral problems we
face tomorrow are not confined to
whether the pastor and his partner of
thirty years are sleeping together; more
power to them. Rather, if we are honest
and forward looking, the problem will
be how does somebody’s child figure
out what gender she is, with whom she
cares to partner, whether she will remain
a “she” for the better part of her days,
and what it all means in terms of her
being part of a community of people
who allegedly affirm all of creation as
participating in the Divine?
Sexual identity, as gays and lesbians
have used the term popularly, is predicated
on certain static, essentialist notions
that “I am what I am.” Great song,
but is it good epistemology? We know
now that sexual identity changes over a
lifetime for many people. It fluctuates
with age, cultural consequences, and
relational status. In short, today’s heterosexually
married woman can be
tomorrow’s happily single lesbian. Likewise,
sexual preference is a slippery term.
The factors that go into informing a
“preference,” and the degree to which
such a preference can shift, make it less
than ideal as a basis for a social change
movement. So, too, with sexual orientation
we are dealing with a less than pre18
Open Hands
About the time I feel I have no lessons
left to learn in my Christian
life, God will bring out one
more. I would like to share something I
found out recently about myself and
prejudice. A few of you have heard this
anecdote, so bear with me.
Prejudice, bigotry, bias; they are all
such ugly words and uglier still when
their effects have been leveled at you.
As members of Affirmation1 we all share
some level of concern about our place
in American society and particularly our
place within the United Methodist
Church. We long for those places to be
better, to have parity. Within the teachings
of Christ we hear love and acceptance,
but within the organization of the
church we have a Book of Discipline
which spells out our place in rather painful
terms.
Experiencing so much open, systematic,
vocal rejection by what should be
the very instrument of Christian love
has really been difficult for me. Over
the years I evolved from closeted and
ultraconservative to essentially open and
liberal. I definitely understood the need
for acceptance, tolerance, love thy neighbor,
and so on.
Only I didn’t. You see, my “neighbor”
was defined as anyone who was
already a lot like me, or who thoughtfully
kept their distance and did not offend
or challenge. What an utterly
shameful position for a Christian to
take. The thing is, that position was so
long-term, so background to my day,
that I was not even aware of it.
When National Affirmation requested
a forum for transsexuals, I
openly questioned what this had to do
with us. I felt it unnecessary and offensive.
Well, apparently God did not, because
within a few weeks circumstances
pushed me grudgingly into conversation
with a well-known local transsexual. The
conversation was innocuous and the
content irrelevant, but the epiphany that
occurred for me immediately altered my
life.
I was suddenly so aware of, and
ashamed of, my selfishness— and astonished
that these feelings had smoldered
long past the point where I considered
myself insightful and devout. Since then
I have made it my daily practice to be
alert for other times that I may reject or
disenfranchise some person or group.
I relate this story to you because I
believe it so important for us...to be sure
that our focus includes making a place
at the table, not just gaining one. When
our thoughts, our conversations, or our
humor are self-deprecating or exhibit
prejudice or bigotry toward others, we
are debilitating our spiritual selves and
thwarting our real desire— to have a full
relationship with our Lord.
I frequently ask myself, “Have I been
forgiving today? Have I been compassionate?”
To these questions I now add,
“Who have I sent away?” ▼
Editor’s Note
Affirmation is a national United Methodist
lesbigay support group, with chapters in
numerous cities.
Stephanie Rodriguez
lives in the Dallas area,
is a senior at Texas
Woman’s University,
and serves as president
of Dallas Affirmation.
By Stephanie Rodriguez
WELCOMING
MINISTRIES
Fall 1996 19
more ➟
By Karen P. Oliveto
My desk drawer has become the
official Bethany photo album.
All the pictures taken at our
various community events wind up in
this drawer after their brief stay on a
church bulletin board. Four are particularly
poignant to me.
Testing our Openness
The first photo is of a young woman
on a church retreat. She smiles slyly
into the camera, holding a chameleon
she had found on a hike. Remembering
who Molly was, the irony of this photo
does not escape me. Chameleons are
those creatures that change their colors
to adapt to their outer surroundings.
Molly, however, transformed herself to
adapt to an inner landscape that was undetectable
to the naked eye.
When I first began as pastor of
Bethany United Methodist Church in
San Francisco, many of the parishioners
asked me excitedly, “Have you met
Molly yet?” Molly, they informed me,
was a male-to-female pre-operative
transsexual (TS) who had just started
attending Bethany a few months before.
The congregation marveled at her
knowledge of scripture and her deeplyheld
faith. They appreciated her willingness
to make herself vulnerable to the
community by sharing honestly in
prayer time her struggles as a TS.
There was another reason why people
were excited about Molly’s presence,
although this was unspoken. Molly
tested the limits of Bethany’s openness.
As a reconciling congregation whose
membership was pretty evenly split between
gay and non-gay people, the congregation
felt they were a place where
everyone was welcomed. Every level of
leadership reflected the congregation’s
demographics and they were proud of
being a bridge between the gay/lesbian/
bisexual and straight communities.
Molly, however, brought a new element
into the picture. The congregation had
to struggle with a new layer of issues
around inclusivity. The lessons we
learned through Molly have been invaluable.
The other three photos bear
witness to this education.
Examining Gender
Assumptions
One photo is of a group of Bethany
women soaking in a hot tub, the
first event of a newly formed women’s
group. It was held at the home of one of
our members. The announcement was
made in church, inviting the women of
the congregation to this special event.
Molly signed up.
At this point, Molly had only just
begun hormone treatment. She was still
living her life as a man professionally.
In fact, church was the only place she
was exclusively living as a woman.
While her hair was long and she used
quite a bit of make-up, physically, she
was still very much a male.
Her desire to attend the women’s
group raised issues for some of the
women. Did we really accept Molly as
another woman in the church? What
made one a woman? Even though some
women struggled with these questions,
all encouraged Molly to attend the event.
We all knew that this would be
Molly’s first outing in a woman’s bathing
suit. She arrived a little late. We were
already soaking in the tub. We tried to
maintain our conversation as Molly disrobed
to reveal a woman’s one-piece
suit. Then, as she plunged into the hot
tub, our admiration of her courage
moved us beyond questions of who is a
20 Open Hands
woman and who is not. We cheered as
she broke the surface. This was truly a
baptism of water and the spirit, as Molly
claimed yet again who God had created
her to be.
Allowing Others to Name
Themselves
The next photo is a group picture
taken on another church retreat— it
was the first church retreat Molly attended
with us. We were in a lodge that
had two dormitories filled with bunk
beds. As people were choosing their
beds, it became evident that we had created
one male bunkroom and one female
bunkroom. Those of us who arrived
early wondered where we should
“put” Molly. Then we realized our arrogance—
we were not “putting” anyone
anywhere—retreatants were choosing for
themselves their sleeping quarters.
Molly should be allowed to do the same.
This was the greatest lesson Molly
taught us: the importance of allowing
someone to name themselves. Even as
an “open” congregation, we had to confess
our own rigid adherence to societal
norms of what made a person male or
female. We struggled with our desire to
have people “fit” into certain categories,
while Molly’s presence reminded us of
the mystery of sexuality and gender.
Molly helped us to hold in reverence
this sacred gift and to meet people where
they were in their journey of claiming
their own piece of this gift.
Accepting Though Not
Understanding
The last photo is a picture of the congregation
in worship. There is
Molly, over to the right, sitting near the
LOLs (Little Old Ladies), as they call
themselves. Molly had chosen her place
in worship nearest the group that had
the hardest time understanding who she
was. These women, most of them over
eighty, grew up in an era when there
was no ambiguity about sexuality. Gender
roles and expectations were clear and
rigid. Yet, in their midst, Molly found a
worship home. One Sunday, during the
sharing of joys and concerns, Molly announced
that she had her license officially
changed from male to female. Instantly,
her pewmates broke into
applause. These LOLs embraced her and
accepted her, even when they couldn’t
fully understand her.
Being Pastorally Ready
Looking over these photos, I can’t
help but reflect on the pastoral relationship
Molly and I shared together.
None of the other churches I have served
had ever had a TS member, at least that
I had been aware of. Molly, wanting me
to understand her life and struggles, gave
me lots of reading material, primarily
autobiographies by other TSs. While
there were common threads in each
story, nothing helped me understand
better than Molly herself.
Pastoral relationships, no matter who
they’re with, require us to be open to
the life experiences of another and to
discern there the movement of God.
Molly’s life experiences were vastly different
from my own, but I was committed
to meeting her where she was and
being her companion in the faith.
This was not always easy. There were
parts of her world that were tremendously
unfamiliar to me. There were
communities she belonged to that were
far from my own. So that our relationship
could have integrity, I did not hide
either my ignorance or my lack of understanding
from Molly. Molly returned
my honesty by being patient with me
as she took great pains to educate me.
More than anything, Molly wanted to
be known, especially by the faith community.
The most difficult area for me, however,
was around gender issues. Molly,
as she explored what it meant for her to
be a woman, pressed a lot of my buttons
around my own feelings of inadequacy
and around my questions about
gender. While Molly was asking her own
set of questions, a voice within me was
asking, “So, what does it mean for you,
Karen, to be a woman?” It would have
been easy to take out my own frustrations
on Molly. I knew I had my own
work to do around these issues so that I
could be as present as possible to Molly
and not have my own issues set the
agenda for our time together.
This was especially important in light
of what I represented to Molly. She had
known much rejection from the church
and had been taught to be ashamed of
who she was. Yet she knew that God, for
whatever reason, had made her who she
was. By representing the institutional
church, I could be a vessel of healing
for Molly, as she struggled between the
church’s rejection and God’s acceptance.
Raising Accountability in
a New Way
Still, I had to struggle with the difference
between acceptance and calling
Fall 1996 21
her into accountability as a person of
faith. As a TS who found limited acceptance
in the larger society, Molly traveled
among several sub-cultures. Even
though they had an element of danger,
these provided her with a sense of community.
Her actions confused me. I saw
her work so hard and invest so much
into becoming a woman; at the same
time she was engaging in what I considered
to be self-destructive behaviors.
“Is what you are doing
increasing your love of
God, neighbor, and
yourself?”
These behaviors pushed the limits of
my tolerance. But what is the moral
measuring stick used to determine
“good” and “right” or “bad” and
“wrong” behavior? I realized that this
was the wrong question. Instead, the
question I posed to Molly was more a
question of faith: “Is what you are doing
increasing your love of God, neighbor,
and yourself?” (Thank you, Richard
Niebuhr.) This allowed Molly to be
her own moral agent, instead of my trying
to fit her into an ethical structure
that had little room for her and her experience.
Deuteronomy 22:5
“A woman shall not wear a
man’s apparel, nor shall a man
put on a woman’s garment;
for whoever does such things
is abhorrent to the Lord your
God” (NRSV).
Deuteronomy 22:5 is used against
transgendered people. However, the
HarperCollins Study Bible suggests
that this crossdressing prohibition referred
to practices used in the worship
of the Mesopotamian goddess
Ishtar. Harper’s Bible Commentary
further explains that this verse is part
of a larger passage (21:22—22:12)
with a common theme of “solidarity”—
Israel’s solidarity with God. The
worship of Ishtar involved crossdressing
so the religion of Yahweh
prohibited it to encourage Israelite
solidarity. Verse 22:12 exhorted the
Israelites to wear tassels or fringes
on the four corners of their cloaks—a
distinctive dress code which promoted
positive visible solidarity with
Yahweh. Remember also the ancient
biblical world’s insistence that things
created separately in nature (according
to their understanding) should
not be mixed, including the mixing
of sexual roles (Leviticus 18:22) and
gender roles (Deuteronomy 22:5).
learned, the prayers we spoke together,
the woman of faith I have become because
she shared her life and faith with
me.
One of her friends said at her memorial
service: “Let us never forget that
Molly was more than just a transsexual.”
How true. Like each one of us, Molly is
a sum of many parts, brought together
by God to make a unique piece of art.
I put the pictures away, but they are
forever etched in my mind, a reminder
of one woman’s painful journey to become
the person God
created her to be. ▼
Karen P. Oliveto is chair
of the board of the Reconciling
Congregation
Program.
Discovering One Safe
Space Is Not Enough
Often, when we met, Molly would
begin to sob. These sobs would
originate somewhere deep within her
soul, as she was consumed by moans
and tears. It was the expression of the
pain and frustration of being someone
whom the world chose to reject and ridicule.
I often wondered if having the safe
place of a church was enough for Molly.
It wasn’t. The immense pain Molly
bore became too great—and one day she
leapt off the Golden Gate Bridge. Our
community mourned deeply the loss of
one of our sisters.
More than Just a
Transsexual
It has been more than a year since
Molly’s death. Still, her impact on our
community is evident. People recall
events and times with Molly with great
fondness. The things she taught us about
the struggle to become who God created
you to be continue to shape how
many of us live.
As a pastor, I, too, have been touched
irrevocably by this one in the picture
who holds a chameleon. I remember her
mischievous grin, her wicked sense of
humor, her pleading eyes, and her fiery
anger. I recall the journey we shared as
she invited me to walk with her through
her transformation. I recall the lessons I
22 Open Hands
May I come to your church?
Martha writes:
It was a standard Thursday. Teach. Office hours. Check e-mail. And then there on the screen was a
startling message from Don McCloskey, a male senior colleague at another school. “I am cross-gendered,
lifetime, and after fifty-three years of being a good soldier, I am finally doing something about it. Not to
stun you, but I am becoming a woman.”
Much reflection—theological and otherwise—followed. What did
this mean? What is a “man?” A “woman?” Where do transsexuals
fit into God’s creation? I came to see that, regardless of anything
else, Don (soon to be Deirdre) was a child of God. Whatever else
was happening, our prayers were needed.
An e-mail friendship soon developed. I learned that Deirdre would
spend six weeks in Berkeley during a bevy of cosmetic surgeries.
She asked if she could visit our church. “Can we welcome and affirm
Deirdre?” I wrote to our on-line church members.
Their responses overwhelmed me. Thoughtful, prayerful responses.
People who had personal issues with transsexualism named
their issues and clearly distinguished them from the theological issue.
Others acknowledged some discomfort, but in honesty, not in
opposition. “Yes,” they all replied. “God’s love knows no bounds
and therefore neither can ours. We can welcome and affirm Deirdre!”
On Thanksgiving Sunday 1995, we welcomed Deirdre. “May the
Peace of Christ be with you always.”
Deirdre writes:
I felt the warmth of Martha’s religious faith in her outreach to me,
someone she knew only slightly in a professional line. In November
1995, when I was under attack by my sister in Chicago (the
third of four episodes in three states), Esther Hargis, the pastor of
the First Baptist Church of Berkeley, and other Baptist friends were
wonderful in support. I felt for the first time since childhood the
strength that faith brings. So I wanted to visit the congregation
that had already started sending me loving e-mails. (Think of a
new translation: Paul’s e-mails to the Corinthians!) I knew nothing
of the discussion that Martha reports. I knew merely that when
I came, as a “new woman” (a better term I think than the medicalsounding
“transsexual”), I was lovingly accepted. I was so frightened
that first Sunday, in my Sunday best, with all of four days of
“full-time” experience as a woman! I needn’t have worried. The
lovely sermon, music, passing of the peace, and testimony left me
blubbering shamelessly.
ACTS 8 IN TODAY’S CHURCH
By Deirdre N. McCloskey and Martha L. Olney
Growing Up In and Out of the Faith
Deirdre writes:
I was a Christian of sorts as a boy, listening fervently to the radio show “The Greatest
Story Ever Told,” affected by the church music my mother sang as a musician. My
family on my father’s side was Catholic, though secularized. From adolescence on, I
lived in a heavily Catholic town. When I started going out with girls, they were Catholics,
as my future wife was. My parents were agnostics,
but deeply respectful of religion. I remember
them, for example, reading and debating Cardinal
Newman’s Apologia Pro Vita Sua. So if I could acquire
faith, it would, I think, be in the Catholic
Church—though the First Baptist Church of Berkeley
has given me a new look at the Baptist tradition.
From age eleven I definitely wished to be a girl,
although I “caged” the beast for forty years. It was
natural that, when in August 1995 I realized who I
was and what my lifetime of closeted crossdressing
was all about, I described the realization in religious
terms, as an “epiphany” while driving from
Chicago to Iowa City after a crossdressing meeting.
This proved to be a mistake: psychiatrists take
religious experiences (mine was not; it was just an
“Aha!” effect) as evidence of madness. My sister
used the word against me to try to get me locked
up. It is strange, this prejudice against religion, part
of an ignorantly secular world.
Martha writes:
“What does it mean to be a Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” a gay friend in
our congregation, First Baptist Church of Berkeley, asked. “Do we simply welcome
and affirm people ‘who are different like we are?’ Or does it mean something more?”
My first reply was easy. “It’s in our Statement of Purpose. We welcome and affirm
gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in all lay and professional ministries.” But it was one
of those questions that stayed with me. He was on to something.
A member of our church, who had served jail time after his wife brought assault
charges against him, arrived at church on Christmas Day 1994. He hoped only to
catch a glimpse of his kids. Under the terms of the restraining order, he knew he could
not stay once they arrived. All of my feminist sensibilities screamed at me to be wary,
to be cold.
And then my friend’s question ran through me: “What does it mean to be a
Welcoming and Affirming Congregation?” I welcomed the member, greeted him,
wished him a Merry Christmas. “God loves you.”
Inclusivity, I began to understand, is about stretching our human-made boundaries.
It is about believing that God dwells in each and every person. It is not an
“anything goes” theology—there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. But the
Gospel message is simple: “God’s love and grace surround you always.”
Fall 1996 23
Baptism in the Spirit
Deirdre writes:
The congregation of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley ministered to me in two
ways. Its pastor and its members offered me direct support in some of the most
terrifying hours of my life. The terror, it is sad to report, came mainly from psychiatrists
sworn to heal. “I shall fear no evil for Thou art with me.” The congregation as
a whole in the service, and then individually at the social hours and luncheons to
follow, treated me as one of God’s children, as a woman, and as appropriate to be
loved. The members of the First Baptist Church of Berkeley live out the message of
Jesus: God’s love is an inclusive love.
In the months I was associated with
the church, I took 1 Corinthians 13 as a
text, especially for its criticism of intellectual
arrogance in the face of love—
something professors like myself need
to grasp. “And now abideth faith, hope,
charity, these three; but the greatest of
these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13
KJV). The word is “love” in modern
translations, but the old word “charity”
conveys better the outreaching, affirming
love of the First Baptist Church of
Berkeley.
Deirdre N. McCloskey is professor of economics
and history at the University of
Iowa, Iowa City. Until November 1995, she
was known as Donald N. McCloskey. She
is past president of the Social Science History
Association and president of the Economic
History Association.
In these articles on transgender realities, several basic
concerns confront us as a culture:
1. What does it mean to be “transgendered” in a “binary gendered”
society?
2. How does the binary system (two genders: male and female)
oppress those who do not “fit” neatly into that system?
3. What would be different in our culture if we looked at transgender
realities as healthy responses to the oppressive male privilege
system that accompanies our binary system?1
Other basic concerns address us directly as “welcoming
communities”:
1. How have we excluded transgendered people from Christian
community?
2. How do we reconcile Deuteronomy 22:5 with emerging understandings
of transgender realities?
3. Can we affirm that transgendered people have the same claim
on God’s love and the church’s ministry as anyone else?
4. What ministries are needed?
5. How might we (individually or as a congregation or campus
ministry) make an inclusive witness?
Note
1For more on the “male privilege” system in general, see Open Hands, Fall 1995.
Martha writes:
In Acts 8 we read, “Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch.... So Philip ran up to [him] and heard
him reading the prophet Isaiah.... The eunuch asked Philip, ‘About whom, may I ask you, does
the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?’ Then Philip began to speak, and
starting with this scripture [Isaiah 53:7-8], he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus.
As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, ‘Look here
is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?’... Philip and the eunuch went down
into the water, and Philip baptized him” (Acts 8:27, 30, 34-38 NRSV).
The eunuch, someone traditionally understood as residing outside the Realm of God, was
approached by Philip, an apostle preaching the Good News of Jesus Christ. When the eunuch
asked to be baptized, Philip offered no opposition. Indeed, in one reading of the text, not only
the eunuch but also Philip himself are immersed in the baptismal waters. The eunuch inadvertently
teaches Philip about the inclusivity of the Good News.
We welcomed Deirdre to our worship service, believing we could minister to her in a time
of need. Our prayers joined with those of dozens of others throughout cyberspace. We offered
her Christian love and nurture.
A surprising thing happened. Just by asking if she would be welcome in our midst, Deirdre
ministered to us. Like the eunuch some two millennia ago, a presumed outsider expanded our
understanding of the inclusivity of the Gospel message. “Do we simply welcome and affirm
people ‘who are different like we are?’” No. We welcome and affirm in the name of Jesus
Christ. In so doing, we not only share but also receive God’s grace. The Holy Spirit baptizes us
all. ▼
Martha L. Olney is treasurer of the First Baptist Church, a Welcoming and Affirming congregation
in Berkeley, California. She is a lifetime American Baptist and direct descendent of
Roger Williams. Martha teaches economics at the University of California, Berkeley.
WELCOMING ALL: Deirdre (left) and
Martha share a happy moment.
24 Open Hands
The story I share is my own story.
I speak only from that story and
not for a community, or for a
culture, or for anyone else besides myself.
My story is uniquely and individually
mine and I claim it with as much
pride as I can because I have spent too
many years hating it and trying to disclaim
it.
The story that I share is the journey
of understanding myself as a transsexual.
That is, I have always thought
that I should have been born a woman
and not a man. Knowing and accepting
this, though, has never been easy.
Feeling Caught
Quite a while ago, I began my coming
out process in a conversation
with a friend. Eric told me about his
journey as a gay man and what that
meant to his life and his relationship
with God. As I listened, I thought to
myself, “His childhood sounds so much
like my own. Why does it seem like he
is telling my story instead of his own?”
I listened even closer. He talked about
how as a child, he felt so much shame; I
felt that shame. He talked about how he
did “male things” in school to keep others
from calling him a sissy or gay; I did
those “male things” to keep others from
calling me gay. He talked about how
afraid he was of God hating him; I felt
that fear, and I knew about that hate.
As I listened to Eric weave the story
of his life through his tears, I could not
help but remember parts of my own life,
when I too felt caught between my own
feelings and what others expected me
to be.
When I was very young, I remember
loving to go to the grocery store with
my mom. I enjoyed helping to choose
what foods we would eat, just as long as
I could stop by the small toy section so
I could see what was offered. This one
time, I eyed a special toy. It was not a
race car or army toy that most of the
little boys like me always picked. I spied
a Holly Hobby play set and I wanted it.
It had a dozen different activities that
could be played by oneself or with a
friend. What would I do, though? It was
in the little girls’ section and I was so
scared that my mom would be disappointed
in me for picking the “wrong”
toy. First, I stood there, clutching it under
my arm. Then I ran around the corner
and just asked if I could have it. She
looked it over, said, “Okay,” and put it
in the cart. I even remember the cashier
commenting about it and my mom responding,
“It’s for my son, he can carry
it.” Still nervous when I got home, I ran
into my play space hidden from all adult
view behind a pile of boxes. In that one
safe space, I played with Holly Hobby,
but always alone, never with a friend.
Fitting In—Not!
Eric mentioned how he seemed to get
along with so many more women
than men. Again I connected with his
feelings. In elementary school, each year
I had a best friend that was a girl. Never
wanting to go to the far end of the playground
where the boys played soccer,
we stayed where the girls played foursquare
and make-believe. Those were
some of the best times I had with
friends—until the fifth grade.
When we advanced to new schools
for the fifth grade, it became a wellknown
fact that girls and boys should
not play together. I did not want to lose
my friends, but who was I to convince
everyone to disobey the unwritten rules.
I remained stuck between the boys and
the girls. I did not want to play with the
boys and the girls did not want to play
with me.
High school seemed worse. I was tired
of not fitting in with either the boys or
the girls. My solution was to join the
most masculine-based activity I could
find, only to affirm how much I did not
belong there. On the football team I
gained an instant identification with a
male group and I could wear my jersey
to prove it. Silently, though, I knew that
I did not fit in. Weightlifting was not
done for muscles or the football team
as much as it was to build up my chest.
Secretly, I wanted to join the cheerleaders
instead.
Admitting What I Wanted
As Eric continued talking, I realized
that the similarities between our
stories did not lead to similar identities.
Eric is gay; I am not. I struggled within
myself thinking, “I know I am not gay,
but why does his story parallel my
own?” My insides hurt. “Why was I connecting
with his story? Why would my
life match a gay man’s? I know I am not
gay because I love women. In fact, I love
women so much, I’ve always wanted—
to be one.”
For the first time in my life, I admitted
to myself what I have always wanted.
After I admitted this deep secret, more
memories flooded back. I remembered
standing in a shower, crying to God,
pounding on the tile, asking why I was
born a boy. I remembered dressing up
to be a lady until I was too afraid of being
caught. I remembered trying to push
God out of my play space because I was
so afraid of God watching me and I was
so ashamed of wanting to be a girl and
Fall 1996 25
not a boy. I remembered thinking that I
must be perverted for wanting to love a
woman as only a woman could. I remembered
spending my whole life hating
who I am and hating God not only
for making me a man, but also for not
liking me because I wanted to be a
woman.
Beginning my New Story
After Eric finished his story, and after
I accepted the story I own, I began
a new story for myself. I would no
longer live a life of self-deceit. I would
no longer accept the shame and guilt
that I secretly carried with me. To begin,
I would tell my friends who I am.
With these friends, I used the label
“lesbian” until I found more appropriate
words to use: transsexual and transgendered.
This process of accepting a
label was very important to me. Having
a label allowed me to claim a connection
with others who share my experience
so that I would not feel as alone as
I have always felt. Having a label allowed
me to take some pride in what has always
embarrassed me.
My sacred story tells me
that God did not make a
mistake at my birth.
Though my religion usually regards
pride as sinful and destructive, I now
realize that my lack of pride has been
the root of my lifelong separation from
God. Since I could not accept myself, I
was not ever able to believe that God
could accept me and love me. Consequently,
this coming out process has not
only helped me to find myself, but also
to find God.
Coming out to God was difficult, but
I eventually told God everything. It was
similar to a confession, but I did not see
a need for penitence or repentance. It
was more like I had come home from
being gone for so long, or like I had been
a lost coin that was just found. I could
celebrate with God, as if I heard, “My
precious child, you have finally believed
what I have known for so long. You are
my creation and you are good. Yes, I
know you are a transsexual and I love
you.” For the first time, I could live in
the love of God without expecting judgment
or criticism. It was the first time
with God that I did not have to either
pretend I was someone other than who
I am, try to earn God’s love and attention,
or push God out of my space. Believing
that God could make me who I
am and call me good gave me encouragement
to believe in myself.
For me, believing in myself meant
learning to love myself as a transsexual.
I spent many years of my past trying to
be “a man” while hating the woman
inside of me. I do not now want to try
to be “a woman” and hate the masculine
parts of me. So, I am trying to love
all of me, the parts that are woman, the
parts that are man, and the transsexual
that they make together.
Claiming my Ministry
I was telling this story—my story—to
a good friend, but she did not understand.
She asked me, “What does it matter?”
At the time, I could not answer her
question, but now I know. Going
through the ordination process, I realized
that my ministry is about who God
made me to be. My ministry is about
my sacred story. If I am to empower laity
to give the testimony of their own
sacred story, I must be true to my sacred
story. If I am to preach of God’s
love, I need to believe in God’s love. If I
am to join in the liberation of the oppressed
and the sick, I must act in liberating
my sacred story from the chains
that have bound it.
My sacred story tells me that God did
not make a mistake at my birth. My sacred
story tells me that I do not have a
psychological problem that needs to be
solved. My sacred story tells me that God
did not hate me for all these years, but
just the opposite: I am a child of God
and I am a transsexual. ▼
Tony Ryan is the pen name of an ordained
pastor who says “I understand that it
would be best not to include my name in
this issue. However, I also know that much
of the content of my article contradicts the
idea of anonymity.” This dilemma is the
reality Tony lives.
TG/TS Organizations and Publications
American Educatonal Gender Information
Service (AEGIS), P.O. Box 33724, Decatur,
GA 30333. 404/939-0244. General information
on transgenderism. Publishes pamphlets,
maintains library and archives, staffs
a helpline. Also publishes Chrysalis Quarterly,
a magazine on transgendered issues.
FTM International, 5337 College Avenue,
#142, Oakland, CA 94618. The leading
support and education organizaiton for female-
to-male transsexuals.
In Your Face: the journal of political activism
against gender oppression, 274 W. 11th,
#4R, New York, NY 10014. 212/645-
1753.Twice yearly. Copies/subscriptions
available. Creator/author Riki Anne
Wilchins. Edited/published by Nancy
Nangeroni, Ninja Design, Cambridge, MA.
International Federation for Gender Education
(IFGE), P.O. Box 367, Wayland, MA
01778. 617/899-2212. An educational and
service organization. Publishes catalogue
of books and pamphlets on transgendered
issues. Many books listed on page 29 can
be obtained from them. Publishes Transgender
Tapestry, a quarterly national
magazine.
Outreach Institute, 126 Western Avenue,
#246, Augusta, ME 04330. 207/621-0858.
Mainly for mental health professionals. A
source of research information packets.
PFLAG, 1101 14th Street, NW, Suite 1030,
Washington, DC 20005. 202/638-4200.
Publishes a Transgender Resource Packet
and has contact person available to help.
Renaissance Education Association, Inc., P.O.
Box 60552, King of Prussia, PA 19406.
610/630-1437. Has support chapters in
several states, operates a speakers’ bureau,
holds information meetings for non-transgendered
people.
The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria
Association, Inc., 1515 El Camino
real, Palo Alto, CA 94306. 415/326-4645.
The Standards of Care are available from
this group.
The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess), P.O.
Box 194, Tulare, CA 93275. Has twentysix
chapters serving male heterosexual
crossdressers, but is inclusive of family and
friends.
The Transexual Menace, 274 W. 11th, #4R,
New York, NY 10014. 212/645-1753. A
loosely structured direct action “organization”
with chapters nationwide. Founded
by Riki Anne Wilchins.
26 Open Hands
life while growing up, but God was with
me every step of the way and gave me
the necessary strength to eventually
accept myself as an intrinsically valuable
transgendered person. (And please understand—
I’m quite aware that I’m not
valuable or worthwhile because of who
I am, but because of Whose I am.).
It took many years for me to reach
an understanding that God loves me just
because I’m me. Despite society’s lack
of comprehension regarding the lives
and complex issues of transgendered
persons, I don’t need to become anything
other than myself in order to have
a full, rich relationship with Jesus Christ.
I know beyond any doubt that God accepts
me as a transgendered Christian,
skirts and all, and I am humbled by the
inclusive grace that has been offered to
me through the precious blood of Jesus,
my Savior.
I’m blessed to have a spouse who
loves, supports, and respects me enough
not to hinder my individual method of
crossgender expression. My daughter
and my mother both know about my
crossdressing and are very supportive of
me. I’m quite aware that I’m in an extremely
fortunate position when compared
to the personal situations of many
other transgendered persons. I have
heard and seen many horror stories of
rejection and ostracism by spouses,
families, friends, and/or society in general.
It breaks my heart to know that
many of my transgendered sisters and
brothers have been denied the right to
a happy and productive life simply because
of who they are.
Transgendered
Connections
My spouse and I have belonged to
a local crossgender community
organization since 1988. I remember the
first time I attended a meeting of that
organization while dressed as my feminine
self. I’d never been out of my house
when dressed as a woman before and I
don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous
about anything in my life! (If you don’t
think it takes courage to do something
like that, then I invite any male reading
this to walk down the main street of your
town while wearing women’s clothing
and attempting to “pass” as a woman
in public. I can practically guarantee
that you’ll quickly gain a new respect
for the intestinal fortitude it took to
undertake such an endeavor for the first
By Vanessa S.
I am a forty-six-year-old biological
male who is heterosexual and happily
married to a loving, accepting
Christian spouse. I’m a father, a grandfather,
a Christian, and a proud maleto-
female crossdresser. I don’t claim to
have all the answers to the existential
questions of the universe, but I do know
one thing for certain: being transgendered
is not a curse—it’s a blessing. Being
transgendered and Christian is a
double blessing.
Formative Years
Even in my formative years I knew
instinctively that I was somehow
“different” from other boys. I enjoyed
my masculinity (and still do; I have no
desire to lose it) but I also felt and experienced
a strong internal feminine component,
one that inexplicably seemed to
demand expression through the medium
of crossdressing. I soon learned
to hide that difference, because I knew
other people wouldn’t easily understand
or accept that sort of behavior from me.
Our society is quick to teach people like
me: “You’re different—be ashamed.”
However, I was always aware of the
active presence of God in my life despite
the culturally instilled gender
negativity that I internalized at that early
age. My relationship with Jesus Christ
has been, and continues to be, the foundation
for everything that I am or ever
will be. It was not easy being essentially
forced to carry a secret and live a double
Fall 1996 27
time!) I must have remained sitting in
my car for at least twenty minutes just
waiting for the butterflies in my stomach
to subside. However, once I entered
the meeting itself, I quickly discovered
the genuine warmth of friendship and
acceptance that came from being with
others who shared my interest in feminine
clothing and behavior. There is an
amazing, and even rather mystifying,
sense of pride and empowerment that
occurs when I’m in a room where being
a male in a dress is considered the
norm rather than the exception. For me,
it’s a lot like “coming home.”
Since those early days I have become
involved in educational presentations
on behalf of the transgender community,
facilitated counseling/therapy
groups for transgendered persons, and
written on crossdressing and Christianity.
Spiritual Direction
Throughout my life, the one constant
I’ve experienced has been the overwhelming
love of God through Christ
Jesus. I was raised in a fundamentalist
Southern Baptist home (not the most
promising environment for a young
crossdresser, I can assure you!) and was
heavily grounded in a biblical-literalist
approach to scriptural interpretation.
This, of course, ran completely counter
to my growing awareness of the internal
transgender desires that were making
their presence heavily felt in my life.
I found myself increasingly at odds with
my religious milieu. It wasn’t until I
reached my mid-thirties, however, that
I actively began to seek out a genuine
relationship with God, one not predicated
on the often-formulaic rigidity of
man-made religion, but instead rooted
in a loving, personal, and dynamic relationship
with Jesus Christ. This new
spiritual insight allowed me to begin
experiencing a period of growth unlike
anything I’d known before. To this day
I find myself continually amazed at the
depth and richness that life lived in authentic
relationship with Jesus has to
offer.
It would be counterproductive for
me to spend time and/or waste energy
bashing or belittling the institutional
Christian church and its traditionally
negative attitudes toward various sexual
and/or gender minorities. I’m concerned
with building bridges rather than walls
between people and communities, and
I want to state unequivocally that I love
the church of Jesus Christ with all my
heart. It’s my spiritual heritage, for better
or worse, and I can’t seem to walk
away from that (no matter how much I
may have wanted to do so at various
times in my life). Instead, I believe God
is calling me—and, indeed, all of us— to
help bring about a genuine transformation
of the church, a transformation
based upon love, mutual respect, acceptance,
compassion, and inclusion for all
who would be a part of the body of
Christ.
Inclusive Witness
I strongly believe it is time for Christians
who are transgendered to recognize
the freedom that is to be found
in Christ Jesus: the freedom to be who
and what we are, to fully express our
transgendered selves in grateful relationship
with a loving God, and to assume
our rightful, equal place within the Body
of Christ. The spirits of transgendered
persons have been eternally liberated
through the death, burial, and resurrection
of Jesus Christ, and I believe we do
our God a disservice when we fail to live
our lives as the authentic, healthy transgendered
individuals we were created to
be.
Yes, we are “different”—not necessarily
bad or intrinsically evil—only different.
We are also gifted in ways that can
allow us to more fully discern, appreciate,
and then express the intricacies of
human nature, the complexities within
ourselves, and the accepting nature of
the God who created us in love and for
love. Our outer appearance, our clothing
and adornment, or our gender-based
demeanor should have no bearing whatsoever
on our status as persons who
desire a relationship with our Creator
and with our spiritual heritage, the
church of Jesus Christ. Those of us who
lead differently gendered lives are in a
unique position to teach (as well as learn
from) others about the transcendent,
powerful, and life-changing love of God.
We are living, tangible proof of the absolute
delight God takes in diversity, and
in humankind as an expression of that
diversity, and as such we are truly
blessed.
I pray for the day when the Christian
church will see the wisdom in ensuring
the equality of transgendered persons,
first as human beings and then as sisters
and brothers in Christ Jesus. On that
day the Body of Christ will have actively
demonstrated the triumph of God’s inclusive
and all-encompassing love over
the forces of ignorance and exclusion.▼
Vanessa S. lives in the midwest with her
spouse and their son. She is heavily involved
in music ministry within the
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
and in local/national transgender
educational outreach and activism. She
is also the author of The Cross and the
Crossdresser: Personal Reflections on
Crossdressing from a Christian Perspective,
and Cross Purposes: On Being
Christian and Crossgendered.
Bornstein Reflects
“The reality of being a transgendered
individual goes way beyond just
being born in the wrong body. Rather,
it reflects a deeper dissatisfaction with
the bipolar gender system, the culturally
constructed imperative to be either
man or woman.
Transgendered people blur traditional
definitions of gender and flout
established gender rules. The first wave
of feminists in the 1960s transgressed
a basic rule of gender when they began
working outside the home. Gays
and lesbians transgressed another
when they loved each other openly.
Now this third wave, the transgendered
movement itself, embraces
choice, fluidity even, of gender. You
no longer are locked into being male
or female; you can be either or neither,
whenever and wherever you
choose. It’s that simple, and that complicated.”
—Kate Bornstein
Source
Heather M. Little, “Bornstein Again,” Chicago
Tribune, 10 September 1995.
28 Open Hands
This liturgy was created by Karen P. Oliveto, pastor of Bethany United Methodist
Church, a reconciling congregation in Berkeley, California. It may be
reproduced for religious renaming events without further permission.
___: I am (new name).
One: You have known the waters of baptism, when
you were claimed as God’s own. Today, we again
use water, as a reminder to you that God
continues to claim you and sustain you. May these
waters refresh and renew you in your journey of
faith.
(New name) cups hands over a basin while
water is poured from a pitcher. (New name)
draws this water to his/her lips.
One: (New name), you are God’s beloved child. May
you continue to be a faithful follower of Jesus,
glorifying God through all that you do and all that
you are.
My friends, I present to you (new name).
Congregational Response:
(New name), we rejoice with you for all that
God has done for you, and for all that has yet
to be revealed. As your sisters and brothers,
we pledge to walk with you, as you will walk
with us. Together we shall drink water from
the well of life. May the life and ministry we
share always reflect the love of God, which
calls us all to wholeness.
Hymn Response:
“Hymn of Promise” by Natalie Sleeth, 1986.
Scripture: Revelation 21:1-6
One: Dearly beloved, as a people of faith, we know
that God continues to shape and mold us in our
growth, inviting us to claim for ourselves the
people who God created us to be. Each new day
is an opportunity to live more fully the promise of
who we are.
Throughout history, individuals, as they have
claimed their unique personhood more fully, have
been given a new name, a testimony of their
faithfulness.
All: Abram was renamed Abraham
One: Sarai was renamed Sarah
All: Simon was renamed Peter
One: Saul was renamed Paul.
All: We know that renaming is an important way
to reflect our new nature found in Christ.
One: Today, a child of God comes forward in an
important renaming. It has not been an easy
journey, yet we know that the road of faith is not
an easy one. We have been asked to witness
this renaming and become companions for the
journey.
My friend, throughout your life you have been
known as (former name). The Holy Spirit,
however, continued to call forth within you
something more. Today, you stand before us, your
life a testimony to the God who makes all things
new. What name do you choose for yourself?
“I Am”
A Liturgy of Re-Naming
for Transgender Persons
Sustaining
the Spirit
Fall 1996 29
Selected
Resources
Sexuality and Gender
Bauerlein, Monika. “The Unkindest Cut.” Utne Reader (September/
October 1996), p. 16. Compares surgery done on intersexual
infants in the U.S. to female genital mutiliation in Third World
countries—and raises question about why feminists aren’t upset
about what’s going on in the U.S.
Bolin, Anne. In Search of Eve: Transsexual Rites of Passage. South
Hadley, MA: Bergin and Garvey, 1988. This anthropologist wants
to see transsexuals legitimated as a sexual minority rather than
being defined as mentally ill.
Bullough, Vern L. and Bonnie. Cross Dressing, Sex, and Gender.
University of Pennsylvania Press, 1993. Thirty years of research
into gender impersonation and crossdressing culminate in the
most complete survey available of crossdressing and gender
impersonation throughout history and in various cultures. Also
examines the medical, biological, psychological, and sociological
findings that have been presented in modern scientific literature.
Burke, Phyllis. GenderShock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female.
New York: Doubleday Anchor, 1996. Combining investigative
journalism, personal stories, and cultural criticism, this
book explodes myths about our rigid gender system by looking
through three lenses of gender identity: behavior, appearance,
and science. Includes case histories of young persons
abused because of their gender.
Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity.
New York: Routledge, 1990. “A brilliant (if nearly impenetrable)
exposition of the production of identity, the binaries
of sex, gender, and desire, and the role of language in creating
and regulating roles.”—Nancy Nangeroni.
Fausto-Sterling, Anne. “The Five Sexes.” The Sciences (March/April
1993), pp. 20-24. This developmental geneticist and professor
of medical science at Brown University argues that a continuum
of at least five sexes exists. Good introduction to biological
realities.
Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time
Has Come. New York: World View Forum, 1992. A Marxist view
of when and why transgender oppression arose.
Herdt, Gilbert, ed. Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism
in Culture and History. New York: Zone, 1994. These essays
explore the different cultural definitions of a third sex or
gender, assembling historical and anthropological studies, challenging
the usual emphasis on sexual dimorphism and
reproduction,providing a unique perspective on the various
forms of socialization of people who are neither “male” nor
“female.”
Hausman, Bernice L. Transsexualism, Technology, and the Idea of
Gender. Durham: Duke University Press, 1995. Traces history
of changes in concepts, treatments, and terminology around
cross-sex and cross-gender phenomena. Argues that endocrinological
and surgical advances enabled emergence of
transsexualism. Also argues that “gender” produces “sex,” not
vice versa.
Hawley, John Stratton, ed. Fundamentalism and Gender. New York:
Oxford University Press, 1994. Gender, not the Bible, is a key
element in understanding fundamentalism. It’s about keeping
women in their proper place. A global look.
Kessler, Suzanne J. and Wendy McKenna. Gender: An
Ethnomethodological Approach. Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 1985. Analyzes the social and physcial science construction
of gender, using transsexualism as a control. Includes several
personal stories.
Money, John. Gendermaps: Social Constructionism, Feminism, and
Sexosophical History. New York: Continuum, 1995. Well-known
Johns Hopkins psychologist/sexologist blends biological and
psychological insights. Read in relation to Raymond.
Raymond, Janice G. The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the
She-Male. New York: Columbia University Teachers College
Press, 1994. First published in 1979 by Beacon. Charges that
transsexualism is the product of society’s gender role
sterotyping and is perpetuated by a self-serving medical sex
change industry. See esp. the new introduction.
Rothblatt, Martine. Apartheid of Sex: A Manifesto on the Freedom
of Gender. New York: Routledge, 1989. “A fascinating challenge
to everything I once ‘knew’ to be the case about gender.”—
Mary Hunt.
Rubin, Henry S. “Do You Believe in Gender?” Sojourner: The
Woman’s Forum (February 1996), pp. 7-8. Rubin, a FTM transsexual,
explores the tension that sometimes exists between the
transgender and transsexual communities in their understandings
of gender.
TS/TG Stories and Reflections
Bornstein, Kate. Gender Outlaw. New York/London: Routledge,
1994. Author combines personal story and analysis, advocates
deconstruction of gender.
Feinberg, Leslie. Stone Butch Blues. New York: Firebrand, 1993. A
powerful and provocative novel presents the life of a person
not clearly man or woman, who comes out as butch lesbian
then learns to pass as a man in order to survive. Eloquently
presents the complexities of being a transgendered person in a
world demanding simple explanations. This book brought out
the FTM community.
Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan
of Arc to Ru Paul. Boston: Beacon, 1996. Blends personal experience
with an historical survey of transgenderism—from cooperative
to competitive societies and the onset of transgender
repression. Closes with a political imperative.
S., Vanessa. The Cross and the Crossdresser. King of Prussia, PA:
Creative Design Services, 1993. Personal reflections on crossdressing
from a Christian perspective.
Von Mahlsdorf, Charlotte. I Am My Own Woman. Trans. by Jean
Hollander. Pittsburgh: Cleis, 1995. Subtitle says it: The outlaw
life of Charlotte Von Mahlsdorf, Berlin’s most distinguished
transvestite.
30 Open Hands
Movement News
More Churches Declare Welcoming Stance
MORE LIGHT
Christ Presbyterian Church
Telluride, Colorado
Telluride is an old mining town at nine thousand feet in the
Colorado Rockies. Having been a home for members of the
“counter culture” in the late sixties, the town of fifteen hundred
has more recently become an affluent resort and vacation
home community. Christ Presbyterian Church embraces
the economic and cultural diversity of the town. Over the years,
it has been both a Community and a Congregational Church.
Some of its 90 members have been in the community for years,
others are new, or part-time residents. In the process of looking
for new pastoral leadership, the Session voted to become a
More Light Church in order to convey the spirit of the congregation
to prospective candidates.
Community UCC
Boulder, Colorado
Located in the foothills of the Rockies, this “high creativity/
low bureaucracy” congregation of 60 adults and 30 children
is committed to intergenerational programming and
hands-on mission. One of its primary goals is to serve area
youth through vibrant programs at the church and in the community.
The congregation supports the UMHE chaplain at the
University of Colorado at Boulder and the church’s pastor works
with the YWCA “Edge” program, designed to enhance the development
of girls through education and esteem. Members
of the gay and lesbian community are active at the church,
which also offers the hospitality of its building to a new congregation
of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC).
OPEN AND AFFIRMING
Faith UCC
Dayton, Ohio
Some 100 members “from all walks of life” make up this
active congregation which is a consolidation of Riverdale Congregational
Church and Hale UCC. Inspired by a vision of
“welcoming all who would come,” the church offers a wide
variety of activities, including a computer program for children,
diversity training, and classes in self-esteem. At the center
of the church’s life is evangelism, including outreach to the
lesbian, gay, bisexual community. As one of the few Dayton
area churches which publicly welcomes g/l/b people, the church
makes use of TV advertising to make this invitation clear. The
pastor is engaged in counseling with same-gender couples desiring
blessing ceremonies and has officiated at several.
First Congregational Church
Fresno, California
This congregation of 500 members offers strong education,
dynamic music, and an Open and Affirming spirit in the midst
of an intensely fundamentalist region of California. It serves
the diverse neighborhoods around it which include a mix of
artists, affluent professional people, and young families. As
the church celebrates its 50th anniversary, a capital restoration
project is underway to enable the church to renew its
commitment to ministry with the community. The congregation
hosts a gay/lesbian Al-Anon group, a Lesbian Support
Group, and its ONA Task Force continues to help develop this
aspect of the church’s life.
Old First Reformed Church, UCC
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
This is an historic congregation of the Reformed tradition
located in the historic section of the city, just three blocks
from the Liberty Bell. With some 260 members (and growing),
the church engages in a variety of ministries including
outreach to the homeless community and year round urban
work camps for youth from around the country. With great
excitement, church members exceeded their recent capital campaign
goal of $385,000, raising $450,000 for building renewal
and expansion. The church is also looking at ways to better
address the particular needs and interests of gay, lesbian, and
bisexual people, and persons (of all sexual orientations) who
are young singles or in families with children.
Somesville Union Meeting House
Mt. Desert, Maine
The first congregation to be listed as ONA in the Maine
Conference, Somesville is a very active church of 75 members.
They express their commitment to the community in many
ways, including participation in a mentoring program with
grade school and high school students who need additional
assistance and support either in the classroom setting or oneto-
one. An on-going ONA Task Group visits other churches in
Maine to share the church’s ONA story. In addition, the church
hosts events related to the Maine “Speak Out Project” which
provides training for gay and straight persons who wish to be
available to talk with groups interested in gay, lesbian, bisexual,
and issues and experiences.
Fall 1996 31
Epworth United Methodist Church
Berkeley, California
This church of 300 members is located in an upper-middleclass
residential neighborhood in north Berkeley. Epworth was
formed by the merger of two churches in the 1950s and constructed
its current building in the 1960s. The congregation
has a strong tradition of openness, acceptance, and caring, and
a ministry of outreach to the community and world. A strong
music ministry is at the heart of the congregation’s life, with a
bell choir and children’s and adult choirs. The arrival of a new
pastor this past summer has propelled explorations of new
opportunities for ministry.
First United Methodist Church
Bellevue, Washington
Less than fifty years old, in a fast-growing suburb/city adjacent
to Seattle, this congregation has an average attendance of
265 in two services. They are in the midst of a major campaign
for a pipe organ, to be installed late in the summer of 1997.
Community work includes hosting a chapter of PFLAG and
building a new home through Habitat for Humanity. A long
period of education and discussion preceded the no-dissent
administrative board vote in 1995 to become a Reconciling
Congregation. Bellevue First is currently in the process of revamping
its decision-making structure with an eye toward less
bureaucracy and more personal choice about ministry.
Williamston United Methodist Church
Williamston, Michigan
This 245-member congregation, ten miles from Lansing,
carries on a wide array of programs including dynamic music
and Christian education programs for all ages, Stephen Ministry,
spiritual life retreats, and a Chicago Urban Ministry Experience
in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity. A strong Disciple
Bible study program was the impetus for beginning
discussion of becoming a Reconciling Congregation several
years ago. Negative local publicity about the congregation’s
outreach to lesbian and gay persons led to a large number of
members leaving in 1992-93. The congregation is moving forward
in its process of healing and rebuilding and decided to
become a Reconciling Congregation in May 1996. Williamston
celebrates its centennial this year.
RECONCILING
WELCOMING CHURCH LISTS AVAILABLE
The complete ecumenical list of welcoming churches is
printed in the winter issue of Open Hands each year. For a
more up-to-date list of your particular denomination, contact
the appropriate program listed on page 3.
32 Open Hands
If you would like to write an article, contact Editor, RCP, 3801 N. Keeler, Chicago, IL 60641
Ecumenical Leaders Meet
The leaders of the “welcoming church” programs in different
denominations gathered in Chicago for an annual time of
sharing and planning in late September. The upbeat mood of
the gathering reflected the continued strong growth of our
ecumenical movement.
The More Light (Presbyterian), Open & Affirming (Disciples),
Open and Affirming (UCC), Reconciled in Christ (Lutheran),
Reconciling (United Methodist), Supportive (Brethren/
Mennonite), Welcoming & Affirming (Baptist) programs were
represented at the meeting. For the first time, a representative
of the newly-formed Affirming Congregation Program in the
United Church of Canada participated.
Plans were finalized for the publication of the new curriculum
on the Bible and homosexuality in January 1997. As the
most broadly-based ecumenical project ever undertaken in our
movement, Claiming the Promise will be a breakthrough both
❑ Send me Open Hands ($20/year; outside U.S.A. @ $25).
❑ Send Open Hands gift subscription(s) to the name(s) attached.
❑ Send list of available back issues.
Enclosed is my payment of $ _______ OR
Charge $ _______ to my VISA MASTERCARD (Circle one)
# __________________________________________ Expiration _____/_____.
Name on Card ____________________________________________________
Signature ________________________________________________________
My Name ________________________________________________________
Address _________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip _____________________________________________________
Daytime Phone (______) _____________________
Local Church _____________________________________________________
Denomination _____________________________________________________
Send to: Open Hands, 3801 N. Keeler Avenue, Chicago, IL 60641
Phone: 773/736-5526 Fax: 773/736-5475
Published by the Reconciling Congregation
Program in conjunction
with More Light, Open and Affirming,
Reconciled in Christ, and Welcoming
& Affirming Baptist programs.
A Unique Resource on
Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual
Concerns in the Church for
Christian Education • Personal Reading
Research Projects • Worship Resources
Ministry & Outreach
Plan Now for
Winter or Spring Study
Claiming
the
Promise
Groundbreaking New Bible Study Curriculum
on Homosexuality
▼ Explores biblical authority and biblical interpretation.
▼ Examines biblical references to same-sex conduct in
light of the Promise that we are children or heirs of
God.
▼ Discusses “gracious hospitality” and
“gift-ed sexuality.”
▼ Tackles hard questions of “right relationship” and
“sexual responsibility.”
▼ Calls us all to live out the Promise as reconciling
disciples.
For more information call:
Reconciling Congregation Program
773/736-5526
or contact your welcoming program
Call for Articles
for Summer 1997
Creating Sanctuary:
All Youth Welcome Here!
Theme will seek to encourage and enable youth and their leaders to create a welcoming
environment in the church for all youth discovering their sexual identities. Looking for:
stories, poetry, reflections by youth under 21; counseling/pastoral reflections by pastors/
youth leaders; and specific programming ideas on sexual identities/inclusion issues.
Write or call with idea: February 1 Manuscript deadline: May 1
as an excellent study resource and also for its promise of future
ecumenical ventures.
The program leaders designated January 26, 1997 as Ecumenical
Welcoming Sunday when churches in all traditions
are invited to celebrate their “welcoming” status and their solidarity
with more than 650 other churches in our growing
movement across the U.S.
In addition, plans were initiated for the production of a
“welcoming” worship and music resource in 1997 as well as
beginning work on a massive ecumenical welcoming church
gathering in 2000.
Finally, meeting with the Open Hands Advisory Committee,
the movement leaders selected four new themes for the
magazine (to run in 1997-98): Sexual Ethics, Creating Sanctuary:
All Youth Welcome Here!, You’re Welcoming: Now What?,
and Bisexuality.