Open Hands Vol 5 No 1 - In, Out, or In Between: The Closet Dilemma

Open Hands Vol 5 No 1 - In, Out, or In Between: The Closet Dilemma

5

1

1989

Summer

"Is your heart true to my heart as mine . ? If·
lS to yours. . . . zt lS, gzve me your hand. " 2 Kings 10:15
Reconciling Ministries with Lesbians and Gay Men
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Open Hands is published by Affirmation:
United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay
Concerns, Inc., as a resource for the
Reconciling Congregation Program. It addresses concerns of lesbians and gay men as they relate to the ministry of the
church.
The Reconciling Congregation Program is a network of United Methodist local churches who publicly affirm their ministry with the whole family of God and who welcome lesbians and gay men into their community. In this network, Reconciling Congregations find strength and support as they strive to overcome the divisions caused by prejudice and homophobia in our church and in our society. Together these congregations offer hope that the church can be a reconciled community.
To enable local churches to engage in these ministries, the program provides resource materials, including Open Hands. Resource persons are available locally to assist a congregation that is seeking to become a Reconciling Congregation.
Information about the program can be obtained from:
Reconciling Congregation Program
P.O. Box 23636
Washington, DC 20026
Telephone: 202/863-1586
n
Reconciling Ministries with Lesbians and Gay Men
Vol. 5 No.1 Summer 1989
My Business or Ours? ...........................................4
Greg Wise
I Choose the Church ..... . ....................... ... ..... . .. . . .. 6
Anonymous
Wrestling with Closet Doors
The Prices I Pay .................................... . ......9
Reva Anderson
Between Memory and Hope ............................ . .... 10
Anonymous
The Joys of Being Out .................................. ... 12
Mary Gaddis
Back Home to the Farm ............ ... .............. . .. . .. . 13
Russell Fridley
Coming Out Straight ................................ .... ... 14
Caroline Presnell
The Call and the Pain ............................... . ..... . 15
Anonymous
Standing Witness (poem) ... . .... ... ..................... .. . .. ... 16
Patricia Broughton
At What Cost? .............................................. ... 17
Jesse R. DeWitt
AIDS: Invading the Closet .......................... .. ... . . .. . . . 19
Chris Hinnen
Sustaining the Spirit ................................ ... . .......20 Prayer of Confession and Hope
Joanne Brown
Resources .....................................................21
RCP Report ................................... .. ........... .. . 22
I Choose the Church ..... .. ...6 At What Cost? .............. 17 2 Open Hands
In, Out, or In Between: The Closet Dilemma
A gay friend wears a T-shirt with a simple proclamation: "Closets are for clothes." He laughingly tells of wearing the shirt and having a woman ask him where he got it. ''I'd love to get one for my husband," she exclaimed. "He's always leaving his clothes all over the place."
To many gay men and lesbians-and probably to many non gay people-that story would seem both comical and sad. They would know instantly that this friend's shirt is not about keeping a bedroom neat; they would see the shirt for what it is-a statement of pride in who he is as a gay man and of determination not to keep his identity "in" the closet. Unfortunately, as he learned, proclaiming that he is "out" of the closet is not as easy as he thought.
The truth is, few issues related to the closet are easy. There are many types of closets, many degrees of being in or out of them, and many reasons for being in some closets and out of others.
One thing that is fairly simple is the making of blanket statements in opposition to the closet ("I have a moral responsibility to be honest"; "If people don't like my being gay, it's their problem") or in defense of it ("My private life is no one else's business"; "My ministry is so important that it's worth being quiet about who I am"). Such statements are almost always legitimate and hard to argue with. They can also oversimplify a dilemma that, for many people, is not only difficult but deeply painful as well.
For Christians, the difficulties of the closet can be particularly complex. It is in the church that we are taught both the "morality" of personal honesty and the necessity of serving God through our actions as well as our faith. And it is also in the church that we can feel forced to choose between these two ethics-being "honest" about our sexual orientation (or even about the orientation of someone we love) can mean denial of opportunities to serve God in ways to which we feel divinely called.
In this issue of Open Hands, we try to go beyond oversimplifications to look at the human dimensions beneath decisions to be in or out of closets related to sexual orientation. We hear three clergypersons offer varying perspectives: why one felt compelled to leave his closet and find a new (non-church-related) avenue for his ministry; why another believes that being in the closet is not a denial of her personal integrity; how another deals with continuing pain and frustration in wrestling with his closetedness.
But closetedness in the church does not involve only lesbian/gay clergy or other
church employees. It can involve almost any person in some way, as is evidenced
by the variety of other contributors to this issue: a lesbian businesswoman, an
older gay man, a lesbian construction worker, a gay farmer, a heterosexual mother
/ antihomophobia activist, a colleague of a gay pastor who died of AIDS, and a
retired bishop.
Each of these personal stories is different. But they also have some common
themes-the joy of self-acceptance, the need for others' caring, the pain when the
closet makes that caring seem nonexistent, and the importance of God, the church,
and people in affirming and helping each person wrestle with closeted ness and
openness in their various guises ...
Reconciling Congregation Program Coordinator
Mark Bowman
Open Hands Co-Editors
M. Burrill Bradley Rymph
This Issue's Coordinators
Kristan Burkert Bradley Rymph
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Open Hands
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Washington, DC 20026
Phone: 202/863-1586
Copyright © 1989 by Affirmation: United Methodists for Lesbian/Gay Concerns, Inc.
Member, The Associated Church Press
ISSN 0888-8833
Summer 1989 3
MyBusinrm or Ours~
Gregory A. Wise
, , W hat I do in the privacy of my own bedroom
is my business. I don't look in
anyone else's bedroom windows and I don't want anyone else looking in mine!" How often I have heard these words uttered by closeted gay and lesbian sisters and brothers as they defend their right to privacy and hiddenness. And, in principle, I agree with them. Sexual expression should be a very private matter -loving, tender, intimate moments shared by two persons. The public should not be invited to, nor be interested in, what takes place in the privacy of anyone's bedroom. But the key word here is "should" Unfortunately, too often the public is interested in what takes place in the privacy of one's bedroom, and, in specific cases, the public has been there as an uninvited guest.
Without question, one's sexual expression should not be a public matter in~ofar as it relates to what takes place between consenting adults. Prejudice and discrimination should not exist because one is gay/lesbian any more than it should exist because one is female or male. Persons should be judged and accepted or rejected as individuals, not because of issues related to sexuality. In reality, however, these ideals are far from experience. Women continue to experience discrimination in a maledominated world. Lesbian/gay folk can find difficulty in employment, housing, health care, etc. (I am currently employed by a community center that could not find health insurance for its employees as long as it used its legal name, "The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Baltimore," in its application.)
Why these difficulties? Simply because of what persons do in the privacy of their own bedrooms. And while I wholeheartedly agree that sexual expression should be
a private matter and "my" business, the society in which we live has not allowed it to be so. And this forces persons who are gay/lesbian to respond somewhere between two polar reactions-allow your sexual orientation to remain "your" business, keep it hidden to avoid prejudice and discrimination, and ignore such prejudice and discrimination when experienced by others, or be open and honest about who you are, be "out," and meet these evils face to face, defending not only yourself but also the rights of others.
In my opinion, the Christian tradition that formulated my mores and shaped the ethics which guide my decision-making process leaves me no choice. And, while I respect the manner in which others choose to live their lives and would certainly never breech another's confidentiality, I have decided that, personally, I must be open in order to defend myself and others. I cannot hide. To do otherwise would be a denial of self, a denial of others, and ultimately a denial of God-all of which are for me ethically intolerable.
Ethically, it is unacceptable for me to deny myself. As a child growing up, it was in my local E.U.B. (Evangelical United Brethren) church that the ideals and principles of openness, honesty, and integrity were first taught to me. Perhaps I was naive, but I sincerely believed (and continue to believe) that a person can possess these ideals. In the end, it was the ideals and principles instilled in me by the church that would cause me to leave its service-that to which I continue to be called. When a person is lesbian/gay and is a member of the clergy, to accept oneself as lesbian/gay places oneself into conflict with the institution of the church (at least the United Methodist Church). Even though judicatory leaders may be personally supportive, the tension with the institution (i.e., The United Methodist Book of Discipline) remains. And, if openness, honesty, and integrity are going to continue to be part of a clergy person's life, service in the church becomes incredibly difficult and stress producing. Oh, service remains possible. But to do so most assuredly causes one to deny oneself on occasion, if only through silence, thus nullifying the openness, honesty, and integrity one seeks.
On Palm Sunday, I shared with the Mid-Atlantic Affirmation group the fact that as Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, he had a decision to make. He did not have to choose the passion and crucifixion. Jesus had free will, as do all human beings. His life could have been very comfortable-full of luxury and prominence. Easily, Jesus could have been regally crowned. That was within his power. But to do so, he would have had to deny who he was. Jesus was not an "earthly" leader. His was a different calling-a calling to which he remained true.
Open Hands 4
"Emotionally,
what must be
the choice?"
Lesbian and gay women and men have received a different calling than that which is perceived as the norm. To accept that calling leads more often to suffering and sacrifice than to a life of luxury and ease. But, ethically, what must be the choice? Emotionally, what must be the choice? Psychologists have repeatedly stated that the most well-adjusted, content lesbian/gay folk are those who are "out." Happy (blessed) are those who are comfortable enough with themselves to put others at ease. I sometimes wonder how much of the prejudice and discrimination one perceives is merely a reflection of one's own dissatisfaction with and unacceptance of oneself. Admittedly, being open about one's homosexuality imposes sacrifice and suffering. But to avoid this is to deny oneself and in so doing deny one's calling. This was not Jesus' example.
But apart from the troubles many may bring on themselves by remaining closeted, a more important ethical consideration is how remaining hidden affects others. I am absolutely convinced that if all those who engage in same-sex behaviors stood up and were counted, the negative emotional energy of the issue would be dramatically neutralized, for everyone would then know and love someone involved. After all, if Kinsey is correct, a very small percentage of the population is exclusively homosexual and a very small percentage exclusively heterosexual. The vast majority in the middle, then, have probably experienced a variety of sexual expressions. If only those who have nothing to lose-those already disenfranchised from society-have the courage to be "out," then role models are extremely limited for young people struggling with their own sexual identity. If I myself am hidden, I will probably laugh at the faggot and dyke jokes to avoid suspicion. If I am cowering in my closet, I will not be free to be a buddy for a PWA (person with AIDS), to demand civil rights for those abused because of sexual orientation, or to offer another the full extent of my love. If I have accepted
myself as a gay person, then it is selfish for me not to be open about who I am. Again-it should not be this way. Sexuai orientation should be a private matter. But as long as discrimination and prejudice exist based solely on sexual orientation, then I cannot be quiet. I agree with the popular slogan Silence = Death, especially considering the current health crisis. Physical, emotional, and spiritual death-for myself and for others.
Finally, and ultimately, I believe all people, including lesbian and gay folk, must be open about who we are because to be otherwise denies the very God who created us. Contrary to what Jerry Falwell may say, God did create Adam and Steve as well as Adam and Eve .. . and Joyce and Ingrid and Allan and Elaine. We are all a spark of wondrous creativity birthed by our ingenious Creator. All of us different yet universally akin. We are members of one family and called to live in committed fellowship. Each of us is part of God's great design, and to deny who we are created to be frustrates God's intent. "For, behold, the realm of God is within you" (Luke 17:21). The love, creativity, intelligence, ability, passion, commitment, and caring for which gay/lesbian folk are so well known is not to be kept hidden and unshared. God's plan calls for these wonders to be present in the midst of a world of pain and incarnated within lesbian/gay persons. To deny oneself becomes a denial of God and God's plan. Can we afford so to do?
Sexual orientation should be a private matter. But society has not afforded gay/lesbian people that luxury. Ethically, I see a clear imperative that all people not deny themselves, others, or God. For this, there is a price, however. It costs comfort, luxury, acceptance. But as we pay what is actually not that great a price, we find ourselves embraced by one for whom this is already a familiar path. Jesus the Christ shares the struggle with us! ...
Gregory A. Wise is co-director of the Chase-Brexton Clinic, one of two anonymous HIV counseling and test sites in Baltimore, and a clinic for persons who are HIV positive. He is an elder in the Baltimore Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church.
Summer 1989 5
I'CHOOSE'THE'CHURCH
Aunited Methodist deacon increasingly believed For many, the issue is not whether to stay in the that he needed to share his sexual identity closet but whether to stay in the church at all! But here honestly with his bishop. In the conversation, I stand: As for me, I choose the Church. the deacon spoke with enthusiasm about the claiming of I bear incredible pain for that decision. Have you ever his homosexuality as both a gift and a blessing in his sat in a room and listened to persons diminish who you call to ordained ministry. The bishop, after listening are by speaking in ugly stereotypes about "others," not carefully, and seeking to respond in a pastoral and sup-knowing they are talking about you? Have you ever been portive way, said, "But _ __, why do you have to talk present when vicious emotional outbursts "perpetrate all about it? Just don't admit it or let anyone know. Most manner of evil against you falsely," but you know you of all, don't tell me about it!" To which the deacon cannot defend either yourself or your gay and lesbian responded, "You mean, bishop, if I lie about who I am, friends? Have you ever sat through church debates lisI'm 'fit' for ministry, but if I tell the truth, then you tening to heated arguments that because of who you are will block my future?" "That's about it," replied the it is impossible for you to fulfill your calling to some bishop. The deacon, who was later denied his elder's form of ministry (even if you've given evidence of acorders, found another avenue for his Christian vocation. complishment)? Is there any other minority group
Two lesbians were in animated conversation. One was (people of color, persons with handicapping conditions, a United Methodist elder, the other the wife of a minyouth in the midst of adult decision makers, etc.) who ister and married over 20 years. Said the wife, "If it ever have to endure tirades in their presence on why they comes down to my choosing the Church or my sexuality, should be excluded from church settings? I'll choose my sexuality every time!" To which the elder, At the United Methodist Clergywomen's Consultation with equal vehemence, responded, "Well, I wouldn't. I'd in 1987, voices of anonymous lesbian clergywomen choose the Church!" She continues to serve in the stunned the gathering by speaking of "the lies and United Methodist ministry. deception and soul destroying silence" required of them:
Two clergy in the same denomination, both homosex"1 am so far back in the closet that no one can see ual persons, but each one choosing a different path: one me"; "The closet is silent, dark, and lonely"; "I must leaving the professional ministry, the other staying. Did live within a lie"; "I'm faced with leaving the ministry one choose "honesty" while the other chose "dishonesor dying inside." One woman spoke of "walking in the ty"? Is one "living a lie" while the other "maintains desert, trusting God in that wilderness, and embracing integrity"? Is one compromising herself while the other that exile." It is a painful experience to remain in the affirms himself by "coming out"? Or is there another church. way to look at the situation in which gay and lesbian I understand the internal struggle that requires many church employees and members find themselves? While lesbians and gay men to "come out," to be honest about denominational positions vary slightly, for the most part the core of their identity for the sake of wholeness and this matter is particularly intense for ordained persons in their emotional health. In many ways, I long for that, which both homosexual orientation and behavior is extoo. But I believe there is a way to live, closeted, for the pressly forbidden. sake of our love of the Church and our call to ministry
(in whatever form that ministry takes). Difficult as it
Open Hands 6
constantly is, I refuse to name the closeted life "a lie," and I believe I have kept my integrity.
Perhaps it all comes down to what I understand "Church" to be. Perhaps I am sustained by a commitment to a "Church" that is larger than any by which a denomination defines itself. Perhaps I remember that in the history of the Church, there have been those who have been persecuted for their convictions and honored as faithful through the lens of history. Perhaps I understand that the call to discipleship may include suffering for our faith in Christ and walking with Him in it. Whatever the reasons are, I love the church and believe
that it is always essentially more than what it appears to be.
of faith and incarnate itse(f in the very midst of the
people. 2
If Jesus were to come again. he might well come as a gay or lesbian person, knowing what it means to be "despised and rejected of men." And so, where are we to look for the Body of Christ? Perhaps it is amidst those communities of faith where lesbian/gay and heterosexual persons worship, work, play, and seek justice together: among Reconciling Congregations and similar congregations in various denominations; in traditional settings where Christians friends know one another for who they are, lesbian/gay and heterosexual together; in prayer and
The Church as the Community of Disciples
I have found ways to define "Church" that have been strongly influenced by the Christian "base communities" of Latin America. Rising out of oppressed but believing disciples, these communities proclaim and live the values of God's Dominion in the midst of people fighting for their liberation. They are, indeed, the Church-outside of ecclesiastical boundaries-finding their life in the world and witnessing to the love of God made known in Jesus Christ. (The "women-church" movement in this country is another developing form of this community of faithful ones.) I always remember that the biblical image of the banquet table, with all its diversity, is the eucharistic table to which Christ invites us and around which the whole Church gathers. But I remember especially that, because those who were invited to the table refused to attend, the invitation was then given to those out in the streets, to those who originally had been uninvited. "And the wedding hall was filled with guests." (Matt. 22:10) It is the uninvited who remind the Church that its identity is in Jesus Christ and that its ultimate point of reference is the Reign of God, where justice and life prevail.
Jose Miguez Bonino, Methodist theologian from Argentina, in writing about the biblical message, says:
It is not a "Church" but a humanity that God
creates. It is in humanity that God's image is
reflected. It is to humanity that God entrusts a mission.
It is with humanity that God makes a covenant
of commitment. [The New Testament} has to do with
a' new "humanity"-not a temple. but a city. I
He goes on, in speaking about those who are called out as the Christian community, to remind us that the Church is always subordinate to the Reign of God. The Church is there to Hdiscern" God's universal action. Jesus did not merely advocate for "the poor" (or the uninvited or the outcast or the homosexual person); Jesus became poor,
[The Church} will not try to absorb the people into it. nor will it proclaim itself to be the "leader" of the people. Instead it will structure itself as a community
study retreats where gay and lesbian clergy are out of the closet to their intimate heterosexual friends. This is where "Church" as the community of salvation is experienced most fully. And for those of us who do not experience such a "Church," can we live by its vision until the Reign of God comes in our midst?
"The banquet table is ready. There are lots of seats. Y'all come now!"
The Character of Heresy
Heresy has always been a charged word. It usually means "false teaching." While United Methodists and other mainline Protestants seldom use the word today, I believe that our denominations' efforts to tighten restrictions against gay and lesbian clergy are fundame~~al!y intended to remove "heretics" from the Church. SImIlarly, I believe the harsh condemnation of fa.ithf~l homosexual Christians is the only way the denommatIOns know how to cope with radical dissent (in lifestyle, as well as in doctrine I. You see, we gay men and lesbians who choose to remain in the church do not accept the institution's authority for how we perceive our sexuality. For us, claiming our sexuality as "good" or offerin¥ thanksgiving for our life partners of the same sex, m spite of our fundamental identity being judged "in.compatible with Christian teaching" (the phrase u:e~ m the United Methodist Church), is a heretIcal convictIOn! Instead of allowing the institution to define the faith, we live with a faith that has not yet defined the institution. Our Roman Catholic sisters often say to us, "We haven't left the Church; the church has left us."
So, I've been doing some study about the charaeter of
heresy. The Greek word for "heresy" actually means "a
minority opinion." One writer remarks, "Heresy arises
from the struggle between majorities and minorities in
the Church, in which victorious majorities classify de-'
feated minorities as heretics."3 From the very beginning,
there were so-called "heresies" within the church, and
what made them so dangerous to those who held power
was that they drew their strength from a good deal of
truth. Conte~porary church historians, such as Elaine
Pagels and Elizabeth Schussler Fiorenza, have focused
Summer 1989 7
on these minority voices who were silenced by the
patriarchal "keepers of the mysteries."
Hans Kling points out that frequently what has been called "heresy" has actually been a major part of the Christian message, brought out in a new way, and that it "fulfilled the function of warning and admonishing the Church as a challenge to self-criticism, reform, and renewal according to the Gospel."1
In a variety of ways, then, those heterosexual and lesbian/gay persons who light a candle in their closets are fulfilling Kung's affirmations:
How often heresies prepared the way for good new directions in the Church ... they guarantee the "genuineness" of the Church. The birth of a heresy can therefore be a moment of grace for the Church, provided it is overcome by the power of love. In this way, too, the one Body of Christ is finally built up. "5
We have often recognized (at least in theory) that our efforts at "inclusiveness" of persons of color or persons in poverty or those with handicapping conditions should not be because the church is being generous or benevolent, but because the life experiences of those persons can provide perceptions that are desperately needed by the church. Isn't it time to recognize that those who have struggled for years with who they are as a sexual minority in our culture have profound and illuminating gifts to offer the church on a subject-human sexuality-that the church has for too long been unable to fully comprehend? Perhaps such continuing "heresy" can be a moment of grace for the church.
On the other hand, we need to look at where real heresy may lie. Karl Barth interpreted "heresy" as "the willful abstraction of one element from the whole of doctrine and the placing of it with equal weight beside the Christological center."h Future historians reviewing current activities within our various denominations may conclude that the real "heretics" were not at all those whom many thought them to be!
I have always been overwhelmed with the love which gay and lesbian Christians who have left their closets but still love the Church show toward even their strongest opponents. In so doing, they model for the rest of us attitudes that can take shape in us and inspire us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.
"See these Christians ... how they love one another!"
The Invitation to Suffering
In many ways, the 6Tfeat heretics were very much like the great saints. Those who do not submit to the authority of the church but remain hidden within it choose for themselves a way of suffering. "Neither group has ever been understood by lukewarm believers, shrewd ecclesiastical tacticians, or by the diplomats of the Church."7 Katarina of Siena once cried out: "Where were you, my God and Lord, when my heart was full of darkness?" And the answer came, "My child, didn't you feel it? I was in your heart."
The early saints have no monopoly on suffering, for whenever we discover God's pain in our own pain we find community with God and understand it as participation in "the sufferings of Christ." Like the saints, we know what it means to endure the passion.
I have been inspired by the Resistance movement during World War II. especially the writings of Christians
who were condemned to die. In them qualities of selfconfidence, prophetic self-assurance, graceful dignity, and courageous serenity are empowering for me. The decisive certainty and unbelievable strength from pride in their own just cause and ongoing task kept them going. It is a particular strength that empowers the weak, and when it is infused by love, it is indestructible! Dorothee Soelle has written:
Precisely those who in suffering experience the
strength of the weak, who incorporate the suffering
into their lives, for whom coming through free of suffering
is no longer the highest goal, precisely they are
there for others who, with no choice in the matter,
are crucified in lives of senseless suffering. II
I believe that those of us who choose to stay in the Church (instead of leaving it for "perfect freedom") have chosen "the way of suffering" and in that act have become more keenly united not only to Christ but also to those for whom Christ died. It is what enables us to com prehend the Gospel in the deepest places of our hearts, blesses us in the fulfillment of our ministries, and send us forth into the world with a daring and tender love.
In my wrestling with the Psalms, I know in whom I have believed, for I pray with the Psalmist and with all manner of Christians everywhere, "Vindicate me, 0 Lord, for I have walked in my integrity" (Psa. 26:1)...
Notes
1.
Jose Miguez Bonino, "Fundamental Questions in Ecclesiology," in Sergio Torres and John Eagleson, eds., The Challenge of Basic Christian Communities (Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis Books, 1982), p. 146.
2.
Ibid., p. 148.
3.
Hans Kung, The Church-Maintained in Truth (Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday / Image, 1976), p.
247.
4.
Ibid. ;). Ibid., p. 255.
6. Van A. Harvey, A Handbook of Theological Terms (New York: MacMillan, 1964), p. lli.
I. Kung, The Church, p. 248.
8. Dorothee Soelle, Suffering (LOndon: Darton, Longman and Todd, 1975), pp. 148-49.
Open Hands 8
The Prices I Pay
Reva Anderson
I s a closet a place of retreat or privacy-or a deception in which people engage? Or is it both? I wonder sometimes. As one in a state of discovery, I'm trying to discern where I am in relation to various aspects. of the closet.
Being Black and a lesbian in a white-male, heterosexual society is interesting-and much easier than being Black and a lesbian in the Black community. Why? Because ac-. ceptance by the Black community is more important to me. So, I guess I am closeted to the Black community. •
When you grow up Black, poorfrom the bowels of society-and you survive, you feel a burden to represent the possibilities for others yet to come. You also desire to make proud those who believed in you and who assisted you along the way-it hurts to know they would be sorely disappointed and terribly ashamed to know you are a "bull-dyke."
I remember when I was about 14 being told to stay away from a woman in the community who was organizing a girls softball team. My father also warned her to "stay away from my girl." I didn't understand why I couldn't be around this woman; I just wanted to learn to play softball. I never learned-to play softball or the real reason why I couldn't be around that woman. However, now I have a pretty good idea. She was thought to be a lesbian or, in the language of our community, a "buB-dyke." She must have suffered a lot of pain from being denied the opportunity to lighten her "burden" for representing an acceptable role model for young Black females.
This pain I have attempted to avoid by remaining in the closetthough the door is open-in the Black community. What does this mean? I don't pretend to be heterosexual, but I don't attest to being a lesbian. Actually, I avoid real involvement with the Black community. Black folks have a tendency to get into "your business," and the only way I know to effectively keep them out is to not be close to them. I would like so much to serve as a role model to young Black females-I'm an entrepreneur, a first-generation college graduate with a Ph. D., but
Summer 1989
9
•
• • Between Memory and HopeM y name is irrelevant. I
I'm also a lesbian. Worse yet, my partner is a white female. I fear the Black community would warn me, as my father did the "softball woman," to "stay away from their girls."
Even though I consider the price to be pretty high for disclosing my homosexuality to the Black community, I don't consider it as high as the cost the church seeks to extract. Sure, I would like to have "my people" proud of me-I would like to share the benefits of my education, experiences and associations with young, aspiring, Black females-I would like to have parents and teachers point to me as someone to emulate, but as "what" or "whom"? To risk this "recognition," or to be denied it altogether, is a pretty high price to pay for "coming out," or is it? At an earlier point in my life, I might have thought so; but now I understand it only to be my ego, a small price compared to what the church asks of me-my soul.
Like so many other lesbian and gay people in the church, at one point I thought I could assure my "salvation" by "purchasing" the church's acceptance through the closet. I was taught and I accepted "deny yourself" as the secret to coping with being "homosexual and a Christian." And to "deny yourself" meant to be closeted about who you were, how you felt, and what your needs were. Consider, we usually closet those things we want to preserve, or if you are like most of us, those things we don't want to deal with-like sexuality. Especially sexuality that is less understood-misunderstood to be "unnatural."
So, should the "pot say to the potter, why have you made me thus?" Or, should we just "curse God and die"? The church tempts me to be in this sort of relationship with God rather than in one where I "cast my cares on God for God cares for me." The church's price for my being in the closet is to forfeit the grace Christ purchased for me on the cross. I'm not willing to pay that price. 'Y
Reva Anderson is a member of CentraL UMC, a ReconciLing Congregation in ToLedo. Ohio.
o
am a lifelong United Methodist afflicted with a di-
o
sease that our society labels "age."
o
Growing older means many things to
o
many people. For some, it means
o
recurring illness or a sense of
o
vulnerability and brokenness. For
o
many, it means an overwhelming : sense of death. I am also a gay man in a fairly
o
conservative, medium-sized town
o
located near a major city. U nforo
tunately, it has often seemed to me
o
that this second dimension of who I : am has only complicated my life and
o
thus my own aging process. My experiences with closetedness
o
have taught me much about privacy
o
and seclusion. My sexuality has re-
o
mained firmly in the realm of the passive, a sexuality not manifested in
o
the open or acted upon positively. I recall my first notion of attraction to the same sex while in that in-
o
famous American institution called
o
the Boy Scouts. My first sexual experience occurred at a young age and : was with a close friend of my family.
o
The individual was in his early twen•
ties-a young adult who should have
•
known better than to take advantage · of a child.
Simultaneously, I became cognizant of society's labeling process. Those who participated in such behavior were known to be "queers," "fairies," and "faggots," with "fairies" being the favorite terminology. To be labeled in such a way at that time meant complete ostracism-not just from society but from the meaning and potential of life. Public knowledge of one's gayness meant more than lost employment or family rejection, as horrible as that was. It meant, above all else, an unwelcome and forced isolation. There was no gay/lesbian community then, as there is today. (At least, if there was I could not find it.) And, despite the fact that many of us lived a common life, there was no viable, socially acceptable, and long-term way to share that commonality.
The first time I patronized a socalled gay bar (then a rare and infant institution), I was told by the bartender that I did not belong there. This only compounded my sense of isolation-and for years to come. But eventually I became hopeful again, for I had heard of something new: a "bathhouse." I was told that this was a place where one
Open Hands 10
"For me, the closet clearly had an ugly face"
•
Summer 1989
could be himself. In my naivete, I
believed this to be true. I was even
lucky enough to meet someone
there-someone who was for me at
that juncture a Messiah figure who
would save me from my loneliness and thus give to me some degree of meaning and relationship.
Imagine my surprise when this man, quite unknowingly, walked into my workplace with daughter in hand. He was married! This was particularly painful as he had told me of his singleness and his desire to make a life for us together. In fact, he had even lied about his name.
The years that followed were among the most bitter I have known. My so-called friend and potential lover was not content with anonymity. Instead, his course of action was vengeance. He threatened to expose me to family and employers. The price I paid for his silence was quite literally to pay him off.
Over the next 15 years, I paid this man close to $20,000. The payments started small. Sixty dollars would buy me a week of silence. As time progressed, however, the amounts increased until I was financing his family's luxuries-clothes, conveniences, vacations. I remember vividly and painfully realizing during one holiday season that my payments for silence were purchasing his family's entire Christmas. Eventually, this man moved away after having met another man.and abruptly leaving his wife and children to fend for themselves. Even then, however, my peace of mind was only partially restored. Indeed, my living memory of these years still exists in terms of present-day poverty.
For me, the closet clearly had an ugly face. And yet it was the only face I knew. In its reflection, I found some degree of comfort and solace. So, for the next eight years, I renounced my identity as a gay man. For me, a pathetic irony was realizing that the very community I belonged to had in some sense made me one of its many casualties. N eedless to say, God seemed very far away.
I had always been a member of the local United Methodist Church. Church was for me a source of freedom from all that afflicted my life. It was the only place that gave me hope. In the quietness of its sanctuary, there seemed to be for one brief moment each week light in the
midst of my darkness. But such light remained vague and intangible until recently.
At age 61, hope finally had a face in the person of a pastor whom I revealed myself to and with. He told me that I mattered. Only now, after all these years, have I come to realize my innate value as one of God's children. Only now have I begun to understand and experience the reality of this one named Christ. Late in life, I have finally come to see that my gayness is good and is one of God's gifts to me. None of this would have been possible if this one pastor had not introduced me to the presence of God, which up until now had remained unimaginable. For him and his ministry, I shall always be grateful.
This is not to say that all has suddenly become happiness and perfection, sweetness and light. I still have countless issues that must be resolved. And I sometimes worry that I may not have enough time left to resolve them all. Nevertheless, much has changed an~ for the better. I finally am able to bear witness to the fact that one can be both gay and Christian and that both are good.
As one commonly referred to as a senior citizen, I live much of life out of a sense of memory. But today and with joy, I also live out of hope ....
11
o
The Joys of Being Out
Mary Gaddis
At work, on a construction site, 20 feet up in the air, on a 3' x 6' platform, Frank o
asked why I had been arrested a
o
month earlier. I said I thought it was
o
because I am a lesbian. (I didn't
o
think about what I was saying. I tell people all the time I'm a lesbian.)
o
He lifted his arms and walked too
ward me. Then he grabbed me-and
o
I realized he was hugging me and
o
crying, on a construction site where
o
"men are not supposed to cry." After
• the hugging and crying, Frank thanked me for coming out. Ten o years earlier his college roommate
o
had come out to his family. They
o
kicked him out and told him to find
o
a new last name. He went back to
o
school, packed, not telling Frank
o
why, said good-bye and left. Frank
o
learned some years later his room-
o
mate was gay and afraid of Frank's
• possibLe response. What I got by
o
coming out to Frank was the love
o
and caring his roommate never got.
o
Frank thanked me for coming out so
o
he could tell his roommate, through
o
me, how much he cared. I'm sad about the roommate and
o his family and hope time and como
munication have healed those
o wounds. And I celebrate the relief, comfort, and joy Frank and I will
o always share by my coming out.
I started coming out about 13 years ago. It took me a while to figure out I was a lesbian, but, as soon as I did, I came out to most of the world-including husband, parents, sister (brother came later}, doctor, co-workers, church folk. I was so glad to have some understanding of who I really am. An emptyness in me was filled, and I wanted to share that joy. I wanted to let people know I felt whole and happy and full.
We aJ] know horror stories about coming out, but, in · addition to "Frank" I want to share a few of the
o joy-full stories that help make the risk worth it.
After I came out, mv mom was afraid what effect that might have on her friends. We were part of the same local church, and most of mom's friends
were church friends. One week a bunch of them were having lunch together. She said, "I need to tell all of you that Mary came out to me recently and I'm scared. I don't want to lose you as friends." Their response was, "We don't know what being a lesbian means, but we know we love you and we love Mary. So we'll learn about what being a lesbian means." They have been very supportive both of mom and of mo.
When I decided to be in my first Gay Pride March, I was working as a laborer, the only female in a 25-person maintenance crew. Some of the guys asked what I was going to do for the weekend. So, I told them. They were horrified. They wouldn't let me do it-not on a dirty motorcycle like that. If I was going to ride with Dykes on Bikes, they were going to be proud of me. Four of us spent most of the rest of the day washing and polishing my bike. When I rode down Market Street two days later I was filled with pride. And I felt a special joy thinking about those three "straight" men watching the sixo'clock news "parade report" with their families.
I 've been a steamfitter and worked in the local union for 10 years. I had never been to a company or union party, never felt quite comfortable. We were always encouraged to "bring your wife and family." This last Christmas I talked with Judy and filled out the reservation card for 2. When we arrived the room was filled with beautifully dressed straight couples. At least we half-way fit in-I in my tux, Judy in her black suit with bright purple shirt. We sat at a table with four other couples. Two of the men were people I was working with at the time, one of whom was on the crew I "ran." (At the time I was in the middle of my four months as "foremame.") "This is my wife, Michelle. Michelle, this is mv boss, Mary. and her-uh-partne;' Judy:' The food was good, the company interesting. the evening was good fun. Judy won a door prize, and the music was most danceable. There was pure delight in going to work
Monday morning and having the crew say things like "It was great to meet Judy." "You look terrific in a tux." And "You two must dance a lot, you really looked good." There is real joy in knowing I care about these men and they care about me.
A number of years ago the Commission on the Status and Role of Women (COSROW) of the California-Nevada Conference of the United Methodist Church wanted to put my name in nomination for chair of that group. I said I would only do that with the understanding that I was an out-ofthe-closet lesbian. I felt they needed to think about what that would mean for the commission and for themselves. The commission unanimously asked me to run. It was a real delight to have them affirm me in that way. Subsequently, the conference nominating committee had a tough discussion about my nomination. During that dialogue a couple of other people were motivated to come out. They said things like, "I need to tell you that these things you're saying about Mary are not what being gay or lesbian is about. I know because I'm a gay man." In the end I did serve as COSROW chair. I was glad that my being out had empowered others to come out and that in the whole process some learning and growing had taken place.
When asked if there was something I could share about the joys of being out of the closet, my answer was, "What's the question?" To me it wasn't a matter of "if" I could find something to share, but "which" of the joys to choose to share. These stories are only but a few of the rewards that I have gained by sharing who I am.•
Mary Gaddis is the founder of Women Empowering Women in northern California, where she aLso works as a pLumber and pipefitter.
Open Hands 12
:. Back Home to the Farm
o
Russell Fridley
o
Most of the time this is a beautiful place to live. The wind blows much too hard
and all too often. The days unintero
rupted by nature's heavy breathing
o
are splendid to say the least. My life
o
began not far from here, just across
o
the river . .
Grandfather came to this land with his father to settle and raise a family, horses, and grain. The
o
homestead still stands as a sort of
o
monument to the struggles of the
o
past and hope of the future. Dad
o
farmed the land passed on to him and more. He also bought a farm, where I live now. This is where my
o
family lived and I grew up. With a
o
house full of love, we all matured
o
and found our place in life, some-
o
times by accident or maybe by God's
o
will. When I was 23, Dad passed away. The responsibility of a busy farm be-
o
came mine, and I accepted willingly.
o
With two years of college behind me,
o
I became the operator and manager
o
of the place and did well, aside from being unmarried and lonely. The church choir was something I
o
became involved in. The church famOily as a whole was great support in
o
my situation. For a while, I dated a
o
young woman whom I met at
church. But my interest faded
quickly, as it had in the past so
o
many times. There just didn't seem
o
to be anyone of interest to me. The
o
drive from within never occurred.
o
Even with intimacy, the female
o
gender just didn't fulfill the need I felt for companionship. My best friend Dough couldn't
o
even persuade me to stick with the
o
women I dated. One day it came to
o
me that the daily needs of como
panionship I felt were being fulfilled by Dough. He was attractive, no doubt, but I could never discuss my
o
feelings lest I be rejected and lose his
o
company. More and more, I realized
o
I was gay. I never felt that being gay
o
was wrong in God's eyes, but I knew that society would not tolerate it.
A year or two went by, and out of total frustration I decided to find someone else like me. In a bar in a
o
city nearby, I met my first com pan-
Summer 1989 ion. The experience was overwhelming.
I felt so incredibly alive and
overjoyed to be a part of this world.
Mom and I went to church that weekend. One of the hymns we sang was "He leadeth me: 0 blessed thought." I felt the touch of God's great power come down and tell me I was OK even if I didn't do what society thought was OK. "Whate'er I do, where'er I be, still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me."
I was just beginning to mature spiritually, and I felt the need to follow my inner self's needs. The world began to seem brighter, better, happier to me. I moved to the city and became acquainted with more people like myself. There was some disappointment, however. The folks I met were nice, but they lacked the sincerity of my friends back home. The love and security of the church family was missing too. All these gay
III wonder if anyone has figured us out. I hope SO."
~
people seemed wrapped up with being successful city folks. I guess you can't take a boy out of the country.
Visits home to the farm and my hometown church always felt so good. Everyone said they missed me, and somehow I knew it was true.
At the beginning of my third year in the city, I met someone special at last-someone with a love so sincere and honest I could not ignore it. The two of us, Ray and I, soon set up house together. We each are very different from one another, but that seemed to make things better. He soon joined the United Methodist church we attended together each Sunday. I've never joined the church; I don't feel a need to.
After a few months, another spring began to approach. As a farmer at heart, I yearned for my home, the earth, the trees, even the wind. On a weekend visit home, some friends expressed a need for an honest mechanic, a guy like me, to keep their machines rolling. I instantly saw an opportunity for income. The farm, really, in this day of agricultural depression, isn't able to support one person or family.
OK. I'm living with this fine man, in a fine house, in a fine part of town. I have a fine job. However, my inner spiritual self says "Go home to where life feels most fulfilling." So I quit my job and moved back to my home town.
My partner did not join me in my
venture. He is a city person. We've
held together a sort of weekend relationship.
I've attended church both
in the city and in my home town. It
is so hard not to become involved at
home. The church family needs me.
I wish I could come out to them so
they would understand why I won't
commit to anything. The choir pesters
me regularly to join. Ray comes
sometimes for the weekend, and we
go to church together. I wonder if
anyone has figured us out. I hope so.
For some reason, in the past year
I have not felt God's power very
much. I don't know why. Maybe because
of my fragmented life. I have
not stopped long enough to take
note.
I really don't know why I don't
feel the magic I used to. The inspiration
that used to come from singing
an old familiar hymn just isn't there
anymore. Could it be because I avoid
any commitment to my church? I'm
surely not doing anything to help
anymore. I spend a lot of energy
keeping my relationship alive. Maybe
the problem is that I spend too
much energy on one person instead
of many.
It still feels right to be living
where I am. I'm a good mechanic,
taking the best care I can of the
people that live in this little valley. I
hope the great power we call God is
using me in a favorable manner.
That's important to me! •
Russell Fridley is a farmer currently working as a mechanic serving the agricultural commmunity in southcentral Washington.
13
Coming Out Straight
Caroline Presnell
, , S
0 what are you doing
. 0 with yourself these days?" asks an acquaintance I haven't seen in a while. I name several things and add, "And next week I'm leading another workshop on sexuality and homophobia for the Kinheart Women's Center."
At this point, if the person doesn't know my history well, I'm likely to get "The Look." I can almost hear them thinking, "Is she lesbian, after all?" I am then faced with a decision: to come out as a "straight" person or not. I usually choose to leave them wondering. It's part of my educational strategy in workshops and in personal encounters to disturb the unfortunately common idea that lesbians and gay men are always easily identifiable because they are very different from heterosexuals.
In most of my social life, though, people know I'm not lesbian. When I choose to talk about the workshops, I am choosing to come out as an activist. I can't predict the reaction. It might be puzzlement, eager acceptance of an opportunity for discussion, or hostility. I don't like this coming out any more than I like being visible and vulnerable in antiapartheid demonstrations. Yet I won't stop doing either one.
I was reared a Christian. According to my reading of the Gospels, some of the main themes are inclusiveness, liberation, and standing with the oppressed. I try to put these beliefs into action through my church, Wheadon United Methodist.
Being a Reconciling Congregation, one important event for us is marching in the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade. Talk about coming out! That's about as public as you can get. You don·t know who will see you, in person or in the news media, and perhaps assume you are lesbian/gay. You don't know how your personal image may be affected by being associated, even as a nongay/lesbian person, with a less than popular cause.
These concerns are minor when weighed against the gratifications. The mood of the watching crowds
14 ranges from curious to friendly to festive. The sign we carry with our church's name draws frequent applause and audible comments. "Hey, a church is with us. All right!" Sometimes I glue on my smile and choke back my tears as I see an unobtrusive thumbs-up aimed at us, or a silently mouthed "Thank-you," and wonder what pain and rejection that person may have felt from the Church. I pray for the time when Pride Week will be no more and no less than another folk festival, the need for a political component all but ended.
Because my home and church upbringing taught me to stand with the
PROVO
O~ MY
6AY
SoN
oppressed, I believe I would be involved in homophobia education even if I didn't have another personal reason. I'll never know that for sure, however. Homophobia has hit me in some tender places. In our workshops, leaders tell their own stories in order to put a face on homophobia. In relating mine, I come out in another way: I say that one of my five children is gay.
Adjusting to the gayness itself wasn't a big task. He and I were close as he was growing up, and shared our thoughts and feelings freely. So when he, in his early twenties, told me that he was gay, I was shocked and very hurt that he had kept it from me. When I asked him why he hadn't told me earlier, he said my life was hard enough without adding another big burden.
I was angry when I realized that although I had tried my utmost to be a good parent, I had not been fully available to and supportive of my child as he had gone through a special struggle in his formative years. I remembered that none of my child-rearing books suggested that sex education include information about homosexuality. I felt, and still feel, robbed. Each time I tell my story, it's like picking the scab off a wound and having it bleed some more.
I don't have to do it, of course. I could choose not to come out as the parent of a gay person. I could avoid feeling resentment for ignorance, demeaning reactions I sometimes get, or weariness at perpetually having to be an educator. Most of all, I hate being pitied! But, like lesbian and gay people who open the closet door, I prefer to live free even if some consequences are undesirable.
Many parents are unable to be open about their lesbian/gay child. I feel that by being out, I encourage them to struggle. I perhaps provide hope for lesbians and gay men working toward coming out to parents, or validation for those whose parents have rejected them.
To come out as either an activist supporter or a parent of a lesbian/gay person is to stand with-to put body and spirit beside-the oppressed/loved ones. When society figuratively or literally throws rocks at my son, they wound me, too. I'm not going to hide in a closet while it happens. They're at least going to have to look me squarely in the face as they take aim. ~
Caroline Presnell is a member of Wheadon UMC. a Reconciling Congregation in Evanston, Illinois. She is interested in spirituality as it relates to humanity's development and envisions the evolution of religion to an eventual global synthesis of our collective wisdom.
Open Hands
T here are many joys associated with being a parish pastor. They have to do with living : with folks year in and year out and o
sharing their lives-their triumphs;
o
their tragedies. One of the greatest joys is being able to share the whole gospel with them over the years. I
o
don't have to teach the whole Bible
o
in one Sunday school hour-or pro-
o
claim the entire message of God's
o
salvation in one 20-minute sermon. I can preach on spiritual growth this week, the global mission of the
o
church next week, the social respono
sibility of the Christian the week
o
after, and the importance of Bible
o
study the week after that. One Sunday I preached what I felt
o
was a hard-hitting and sound sermon
o
on the church's responsibility to lead
o
in dismantling patterns of dis-
o
crimination-on our responsibility to
o
stand against racism, anti-semitism,
o
sexism, and homophobia. As I shook
o
hands after the service, one
o
parishioner commented to me:
You know, I really appreciate your sermons. They are thought provoking and educational. You gave us a great deal to think about this morning. You really opened my eyes to how the church has collaborated in discrimination. But, while I have to agree with you that gays should be able to live and work where they want like anyone else, it is different when it comes to the church itself. We can't let homosexuals be leaders in the church; it wouldn't work. No homosexual could stand in the pulpit and teach me anything about the Christian faith.
o
It was simultaneously one of the fun-
o
niest and one of the most painful
• moments of my career. For, you see,
: I am a gay pastor. This incident happened many
•
years ago, but it is still the first story
•
I tell when asked what it is like to · be a gay pastor. It is by turns amus: ing, frightening, full of hope, and : full of pain.
· What is it like?
o
It is scary.
A great number of people-ind~ed the official policy of our church-
o would put me right out of the ordained
ministry if they knew I were gay-for living a life "incompatible with Christian teaching." That is very frightening-because it would separate me from a career I love, because it would destroy a reputation I have worked many years to build. and because I don't know how else I could make a living.
It is scary to have to worry about "rumors" and "appearances," who can be trusted and who can't, the possibility of being exposed. It is damaging to my ministry when I am tempted to hold my tongue rather than risk antagonizing someone who would love to "expose" me "for the good of the church."
It is frustrating.
Though I consider myself to be one of the more able pastors in my annual conference, I will never have the advancement that I deserve because of innuendo and suspicion among my colleagues-some of whom, though married and presumed above suspicion, are also gay. Even colleagues who don't have personal problems with my life-style are a little afraid to have me in a position of any prominence because I might cause "scandal" in the church.
In addition, being a gay pastor is frustrating because the church badly needs to be confronted with its homophobia and with the debt it owes to its gay and lesbian clergy. (I know of one annual conference in which virtually every major committee is headed by a gay or lesbian pastor.) If I came out there would have to be some acknowledgment (albeit grudgingly) that a gay man was an effective and respected pastor. But I can't do that without losing my job and thus all future opportunity to continue to be an effective parish pastor. As much as I want the church to face squarely my sexual orientation, I love my work and want to continue doing it.
And my situation is also frustrating because I see gays and lesbians in the church. particularly youth who desperately need good adult gay/lesbian role models, but I can't be that role model without risking losing completely my access to these people.
It is lonely.
In an organization that places
great value on committed relationships, I could not "bless" a relationship of my own in the eyes of the
church. Besides, can you imagine moving a lover into the parsonageeven dating is a cat-and-mouse game with nosy parishioners. I feel cut off from both sides-never accepted for who I really am by the church community that means so much to me, and isolated by suspicion of anything or anyone connected with the church and by the demands of my job from the gay community as well. Only the presence of others in the same predicament keeps me from total despair.
It is painful.
I have lost friends to AIDS, but I cannot grieve openly. I hate the hiding and would love to live openly as who I really am. I am hurt constantly by actions and statements of a church and people that I really love. One particularly painful memory is of watching the pastor of my teenage years, a second father I dearly love, stand right next to me at annual conference and vote to deny ordination to gay men and lesbians.
It is truly, in many ways, an intolerable situation.
Why then, one might legitimately ask, do I put up with it? I could give you political reasons-the most effective agents of change are often
Summer 1989 15
those within the system. I could give you ethical reasons-the church is
· Standing Witness
wrong on this issue, and I am part
of a righteous remnant. And I sort
of believe these things.
But the greatest truth is, I don't
feel I have had a choice. God made
me a gay man and called me to ordained
ministry, and to deny either
my gayness or my calling would be
to mock God. In spite of that, if I
had come out before I finished seminary,
I'm not sure I would have
gone through with ordination-because
I knew how homophobic the
church was, and I'm not sure I
would have had the courage to submit
myself to it. As it worked out,
however, I found myself confronting
my sexual orientation in the midst of
the church and, more importantly, in
the midst of my professional ministry.
My sense of God's acceptance and love have certainly deeply affected the way I deal with facing my gayness. At the same time, the process I went through in dealing with my gayness has made me a much better pastor than I ever could have been without it. I learned compassion and tolerance in the struggle to face who I am. And I feel that my experiences of homophobia have given me some insight into the oppressions of other people, helping me to stand for the rights of all who are oppressed. So-though I suffer from the conflicts of being both gay and a pastor-I nevertheless feel complete. I am a far healthier and better pastor than I was when I was denying my gayness. This is the ultimate irony-the church would dismiss me for the very thing that has given my ministry most of its power.
Will I stick it out? I honestly don't know. There may come a point at which my need to take care of myself overcomes my commitment to being a pastor. I'm getting older, my pension is long vested, maybe it is time to live openly, to open myself to the possibility of a relationship, to spend more time with people who affirm who I am and not who they want me to be.
Maybe it's time. Maybe it is a foolish dream to think the church I love and serve will ever learn to love and serve me and other gays and lesbians. Maybe it's time to let go of the hope that the church will ever turn back to the love of Christ and away from power games and oppression. I pray for my church. butmaybe it's time. Y
· Phyllis is dead.
· Shot herself to death Monday afternoon.
· You remember Phyllis: the lesbian who wanted to be ordained in the United Methodist Church (God knows why). · Wanted to be a minister in a church that told her quite clearly: "No queers allowed here" (Only they said it much nicer than that, of course.)
· Still, Phyllis persisted (God knows why) insisted she had a call t~ ministry, insisted she'd be less than whole
proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ
from the vantage point
·.
of a closet.
· Somehow she clung to the notion that she, too,
was made in the image of God (God knows why), even while being battered by the church, even while her gifts and graces were being trashed.
Well, Phyllis is dead now. · She's not around to bother you anymore, Church. · Not around to stand before you,
insisting you see her
.and hear her
and know her.
· No, Phyllis isn't around anymore. · And all you have left to contend with, Church, is a host of witnesses angelic and otherwise who stand expectantly before you.
· And not a closet in sight.
, , ~-:--:,~-<::;
~~.~ . .. .-.' Patricia Broughton
~ :-~" Chicago-based freelance writer and photographer
16
,
• Jesse R. DeWitt Summer 1989
What is the cost? This is a question that is asked in every segment of our society. Cost analysis is a significant part of institutional and corporate survival. But how does one define or secure the "cost" to the church for its positions on social. economic, and/or moral issues that divide the body? What is the cost to United Methodism. or any denomination, for its social pronouncements on homosexuality and the resulting consequences in the lives of individuals? How does one measure the cost to individuals and the church of those who are either alienated from the church or maintain a "closet attitude" regarding their sexuality within the church'! As I experience increasing division within the church over issues of sexual orientation, I am aware that there are no sim pIe answers.
It will be possible to report a specific dollar cost for the United Methodist quadrennial study and report of the Task Force on Homosexuality that was approved at the church's General Conference in 1988. However, this financial statement or audit will in no way address the real cost of homophobia in the United Methodist Church as a result of the report of this committee and the investments some will make to support its recommendations and others to oppose it.
The investment on the part of pastors, laity, boards and agencies, cabinets and bishops regarding the issues of sexual orientation would be difficult to secure. Many of us are fully aware of the extent of such deliberations in our own experiences. Time, resources, and travel within judicatories have been invested as persons seek to deal responsibly with these issues. To acknowledge this is to call us to accountability and to raise the more critical concern of cost to the church of "gifts and graces" of individuals who are not accepted or recognized as "morally qualified" to share in the ministries of the church because of their sexual orientations or their supportive positions on homosex,uality.
Personal stories, which must of necessity remain confidential, are the main vehicle through which one can begin to sense the high cost of homophobia to the church and society.
I am aware of numerous individuals whose "gifts and graces" would have been of tremendous value to the church in pastoral ministry, and in other areas, of our church life. They have withdrawn from church involvement out of fear for their personal safety and/or to maintain their personal sense of integrity rather than reveal their sexual orientation. These persons possess the essential qualities of compassion, sensitivity, spiritual and social concern, intellectual capacity, educational qualifications, personal commitment, counselling skills, administrative ability, and creative vision. Their ability to challenge people to faithful action, to motivate individuals to self-awareness, and to create a climate in which various positions could be openly and honestly discussed is obvious to me. The cost to the church when such presence is lost to the community is high.
I am aware of. the personal emotional and psychological cost to individuals who have remained within the structure of the church, living with the secret of their sexual orientation out of fear and uncertainty. To live on the edge of possible exposure and rejection extracts a high price from individuals and society. When persons are unduly limited in their capacity to share their God17
given talents openly, the church and society lose the bounty of such gifts and the individual often suffers anxiety and frustration.
I have also experienced congregations and individual persons whose legalistic religious perspectives focus tremendous energy in policing the church in areas of sexual orientation. Such motivation is not open to rational discussion, reasonable consideration, or Christian love. A homosexual orientation is seen as so "evil and sinful" from their perspective that the only valid response open to the church is rejection. (The exception to this is if a gay/lesbian person "converts" to heterosexuality.) Compassion , forgiveness, and other nonjudgmental values of the Christian faith don't seem to enter in. Such churches and individuals become "single issue" oriented and project uncompromising demands upon the larger community of faith. Such action on the part of
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one group polarizes the church. It redirects the focus
and attention of the community from its primary tasks
and objectives to dealing with one set of issues. In addition,
it builds walls of separation and bitterness that
limit open communication, mutual trust, and unity. The
body is severely fractured, and reconciliation and healing
are rendered virtually impossible. Human and financial
resources are redirected into such endeavors at high cost
to the overall mission of the church. When people are
alienated, wounds are deeply inflicted and real healing is
difficult. The church and its constituency pay dearly for
sllch divisiveness.
Because of their positions and/or actions, many local churches find it difficult to provide pastoral ministry to lesbian/gay persons. Although many on an individual basis would affirm a ministry to all persons, narrow definitions of the body of Christ by institutions make sllch ministry impossible. The effect of denying pastoral ministry to members of Christ's body is difficult to measure. It is clear, however, that there are no winners and the meaning of salvation and reconciliation can be distorted in such situations.
Often an individual or group is willing to challenge what they believe to be a denial of human rights or a misunderstanding of the Gospel. Such confrontation can be essential to creative change but costly to those involved. I have shared with numerous individuals in this struggle. I have seen the responsible committees, boards, and agencies of the church take strong positions after prayerful and serious deliberation. Even though the group's discussion is intended to be confidential, the decision and discussion become a public matter. Debates begin. Accusations are made openly. Sides are chosen, and the outspoken individual becomes a victim rather than a channel for creative change. In such a conflict, the life of the 'group is disrupted and its work is jeopardized. The effect on the individual involved can be devastating as well, denying the very promise of Christ that we may have life abundant. That person's life could be ended by suicide or damaged by mental and/or physical breakdown. While the "finality of death" may be a rare experience in such situations, no one can ever measure the cost of a single life ending in such a tragic way. Conflicts like this can have far-reaching effects on family, friends, community, and the church.
When we seek to compartmentalize life into a variety of categories as these various exam pies show, we deny the holistic nature of our God-given life. In many instances what some reject as evil and unacceptable may be God-given, and, like the Apostle Paul, we find ourselves kicking out against God. The sacredness of human life, the unity of Christ's Church, the nurturing of the Christian community, and the reconciling love of Christ that are to be revealed in the church are often sacrificed in interactions where sexual orientation is at issue. How can one measure the cost of such a loss?
It is time for churches and people of faith to study the biblical and theological foundations of our faith as they reflect on human sexuality. Until we earnestly address this basic aspect of our humanity, we will continue to find individuals, families, congregations, communities, and judicatories increasingly involved in the costly conflicts surrounding homosexuality. We cannot afford the continued uncertainty in and the modification of our denominational positions. We must intensify our efforts for clarity and understanding, and establish a sound foundation for our position as a church. Until that occurs, we will continue to pay a high price in the sacrifice of individuals and the divisiveness within the church. Religious attitudes and church statements have served in many instances to undergird homophobia. Compassion and understanding are crucial as we seek to minister to all of God's people. The church must speak out with clarity and in love if we are to have unity within the body of Christ. ~
Jesse R. DeWitt. retired bishop of the United Methodist Church. served 8 years in both the Wisconsin and
Chicago areas. He is presently a volunteer on the staff of the Midwest Center for Labor Research in Chicago. where he continues to work with groups in human rights and economic and social justice issues.
Open Hands 18
Invading
the Closet
When I was a student at Drew U niversitv Theological
School in the early 1980s, studying to be a minister in the United Methodist Church (UMC), I became aware that the issues of ordination were not the same for all the students there. For one group of students, there was a special question: "Am I a minister of God first, or am I a gay/lesbian indi vid ual first?"
Since then, it has become clear to me that many gay men and lesbians like those students have chosen to be a minister of God first. The call to ordained ministry seems to have a power even greater than the need to openly affirm the self in the church and in society. I have seen how in my conference (the UMC's Northern New Jersey Annual Conference) gay and lesbian clergy, with much care and caution, have developed a support network that allows them, to some degree, to be who they are. There are no formal meetings or events, just an awareness that a certain person can be trusted not to reveal the truth about one's sexual orientation.
But an outsider has stepped in. This one threatens to break down the intricately woven network that protected our gay brothers and lesbian sisters. The outsider is AIDS.
When I was first appointed to a local church in 1985, I became aware that one of my ministerial colleagues had died of AIDS. This information came to me from the newly appointed minister to his charge. When he first moved in, he couldn't understand why the house was being cleaned, top to bottom, with disinfectant. To his knowledge, this was the first time that anyone had bothered to provide the bathroom with a new toilet seat. Gradually, it came out that his predecessor had died of AIDS.
Recently, one of my clergy friends also died of AIDS. Ron Markle was the pastor of a church in a town that was increasingly becoming a colony of gay men and lesbians. He attended AIDS Action Team meetings (our conference's AIDS task force). He hosted an initial meeting for the Reconciling Congregation Program. In each of his four appointments, he, through his preaching and because of who he was, fostered a community of openness and inclusion. He preached and acted out the Gospel.
He did not, however, ever make his gayness an issue. This was not so much because it would endanger his ministry. It was more because his gayness and his call to ordained ministry were integrated. For those who could see his gayness, it would be evident. For those who couldn't, it didn't matter.
Yet being gay was important for Ron. If the question came up, he would answer honestly. Then he would say "Well, what are we going to do about it1" Invariably, the type of minister he was overrode the fact that he was gay.
This is not to say that there was no struggle. When he and Steven became lovers, there were some conflicting feelings about Steven living in the parsonage. He was scared that he might be transferred out of the church or, worse, have his credentials pulled. They made no big issue out of their relationship. Steven moved in. People took to him very we]]. And that was that. By living honestly and with integrity, Ron maintained the respect of his congregation. Those who could see, did. Those who couldn't (or wouldn't) see, didn't.
When Ron was too sick to work, there were those who rallied around him. His inner circle of friends knew he had AIDS. They were a compassionate, loving group of people.
I went to the hospital to see Ron the day before he died. StE'ven was there and so was another cleq,ry friend. Ron knew that he was ready to die. If he died now, he would die with grace and dignity. If he hung on, he felt that he would lose most. if not all, of who he was as a person and as a minister. He wanted it to be made clear to those at his funeral that he had died of AIDS. But the focus was to be on his personhood and ministry.
The next day, Ron died. Steven and Ron's district superintendent were there. He did die with grace and dignity.
His funeral was beautiful and moving. Another district superintendent preached the funeral sermon to a church with standing room only. At the time for personal reflections, people stood up and affirmed Ron's gayness, his personhood, and his ministry. Others prayed for the affirmation of gay men and lesbians in ordination. Steven was there as Ron's most significant other in mourning. I think Ron would have been satisfied.
We have come a long way between the deaths of these two ministers. Yet many of our cleq.,ry live in fear of being discovered. And many of our lay people live in ibrrlorance. One woman from Ron's church said, "Oh, he couldn't have died of AIDS; only gays die of AIDS." AIDS is having its impact on the church. Hopefully, the time is coming when we can openly affirm and support AIDSstricken people, both clergy and lay, before they die, rather than in memoriam .•
Chris Hinnen is pastor of Grace UMC in Kearny, New Jersey. lIe has been involved in AIDS ministry since 1985 and is chair of the AIDS Action Team in the Northern New Jersey Annual Conference of the
UMC.
Summer 1989 19
"Sustaining The Spirit ~
Prayer of Confession and Hope
Eternal God When our eyes are too full of our own visions; When our ears are too full of our own sounds; When our mouths are too full of our own wisdoms; When our hearts are too full of our own concerns; Break through; Liberate us from the narrow worlds which constrict our souls; Liberate us from the fear which blinds us to the newness of your work on the horizon; Liberate us from the preoccupation with the trivial and uneasiness with what is great; Liberate us into the community of God. AND When the hurt in our souls is deep; When we feel weak at the beginning of a mighty task; When we are parched for the water of life and hungry for the bread of heaven; When we are guilty with a guilt that will not leave us in peace; THENOHGOD Heal us. Strengthen us. Feed us. Forgive us. AND Bring us Through birth and rebirth Through giving and forgiving Through loving and loving kindness Through using us and preparing us for use Through judgment and grace Into citizenship in · the community Where all are sinners, yet all are accepted All are judged, yet all find mercy All are limited, yet all are ministers Grateful citizens, Loving children of the community of God. Amen -Joanne Brown
Professor of Church History and Ecumenics.
St. Andrews College. Saskatoon. Sasketachewan
20
YSustaining The Spirit~
Prayer of Confession and Hope
Eternal God When our eyes are too full of our own visions; When our ears are too full of our own sounds; When our mouths are too full of our own wisdoms; When our hearts are too full of our own concerns; Break through; Liberate us from the narrow worlds which constrict our souls; Liberate us from the fear which blinds us to the newness of your work on the horizon; Liberate us from the preoccupation with the trivial and uneasiness with what is great; Liberate us into the community of God. AND When the hurt in our souls is deep; When we feel weak at the beginning of a mighty task; When we are parched for the water of life and hungry for the bread of heaven; When we are guilty with a guilt that will not leave us in peace; THENOHGOD Heal us. Strengthen us. Feed us. Forgive us. AND Bring us Through birth and rebirth Through giving and forgiving Through loving and loving kindness Through using us and preparing us for use Through judgment and grace Into citizenship in · the community Where all are sinners, yet all are accepted All are judged, yet all find mercy All are limited, yet all are ministers Grateful citizens, Loving children of the community of God. Amen -Joanne Brown
Professor of Church History and Ecumenics.
St. Andrews College. Saskatoon. Sasketachewan
20
Resources
LJ
Ethics and Honesty
Bok, Sissela. Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life. New York: Random House/ Vintage, 1978.
A widely acclaimed contemporary examination of what it takes to be honest. Discusses situations (including threats to privacy and questions about sexual preferences) in which lying mayor may not be ethically acceptable. An excellent appendix includes excerpts from writings on honesty and truth by philosophers and theologians such as Thomas Aquinas, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Immanuel Kant.
Closetedness and Openness in Society
Grahn, Judy. Another Mother Tongue: Gay Words, Gay Worlds. Boston: Beacon Press, 1984.
Miller, Neil. In Search of Gay America: Women and Men in a Time of Change. New York: Atlantic Monthly Press, 1989.
Pharr, Suzanne. Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism. Inverness, Calif.: Chardon Press, 1988.
Stanley, Julia Penelope, and Wolfe, Susan J., eds. The Original Coming Out Stories. Expanded ed. Watertown, Mass.: Persephone Press, 1989.
Umans, Meg. Like Coming Home: Coming-Out Letters. Austin, Tex.: Banned Books, 1988.
Varying perspectives on what it means to be in or out of the closet. Chapter 2 of Grahn's book, in particular, presents a valuable discussion of manifestations and consequences of the closet (both historically and in contemporary society I. Miller's fascinating report carefully portrays the diversity of gay men and lesbians in the United States today-in urban and rural areas; in minority communities, religious circles, and politics; in the closet and out. In her essay "Women in Exile: The Lesbian Experience," Pharr probes the negative effects of the closet as internalized homophobia. Stanley and Wolfe offer a diverse collection of stories of women describing their personal processes of coming out to themselves and others. Umans' book is a collection of letters home or to friends from lesbians and gay men as they come out.
Summer 1989
Closets and the · Church-General
•
Boyd, Malcolm. Gay Priest: An Innt'r Journey. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1986.
•
Curb, Rosemary, and Manahan, Nancy. Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence. Tallahassee, Fla. Naiad Press, 1985.
•
Glaser, Chris. Uncoming Calling: A Gay Man's Struggle to Servt-' the Church. San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1988.
Sherwood, Zalmon O. Kairos: Confessions of a Gay Priest. Boston: Alyson, 1987.
•
Tinney, James S. "Struggles of a Black Pentecostal." Insight. December 1981. Reprinted in Smith, Michael J., ed. Black Men / White Men. San Francisco: Gay Sunshine Press, 1983.
•
Yoffe, Emily. "The Double Life of Finis Crutchfield." Texas Monthly. Vol. 15, no. 10 (October 1987).
•
Zanotti, Barbara, ed. A Faith of One's Own: Explorations by Catholic Lesbians. Trumansburg, N.Y.: Crossing Press, 1986.
Several perspectives on aspects of being
•
in or out of the closet in the church.
•
Boyd writes from the perspective of a gay
•
man who lived in the closet as an Epis•
copal priest until he came out publicly in
•
the late 1970s, while Sherwood's book (a
•
collection of letters to a friend) reveals
•
the struggle of a closeted gay priest aspir•
ing to ordination. Curb and Monahan : present the stories of 51 lesbian nuns who
•
reveal their joys and pains, including
•
their struggles toward self-realization,
•
while Zanotti's book shares the personal
•
stories of a variety of lesbians raised in
•
the Roman Catholic Church. Glaser tells : of being denied ordination as a Pres•
byterian minister and of struggling to
•
find alternative avenues for his call to : ministry. Tinney writes of working to
•
deal honestly and openly with three im•
portant aspects of his persona (his : Blackness, gayness, and Pentecostalism).
•
Yoffe examines the ministry and deeply
•
closeted life of a United Methodist : bishop who died of AIDS in 1987.
Closets of Family and
Friends
•
Borhek, Mary V. My Son Eric. New York: Pilgrim Press, 1979.
•
Fairchild, Bettv, and Hayward. Nann. Now That You Kn;)w. Nt'\,\, )()rk: Harcourt, 1979.
Both these books are dassics. Borlwk
•
movingly tells of her journt'y as an t'van: gelical Christian mother to understand
•
and accept her gay son. Fairchild and
•
Hayward offer stories and advice aimed
•
at family members struggling with the
•
reality of a lesbian/gay relatiw.
· AIDS and the Closet
•
Altman. Dennis. AIDS in lh.· Mind of America. Garden Citv, N.Y.: Doubleday / Anchor i>ress, 19S().
•
Nungesser, Lm G. Epidemic of Couragt·: Facing-AIDS in Anwrica. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1986.
•
Shands, Nancy. AIDS: Th(' Lon('ly Voyag-(" San Carlos. Calif.: Wid£> World / Tetra, 1988.
Altman explores the social, political,
•
and psychological impacts of AIDS, in: cluding the fear and stigma that can ac•
company the disease. He also talks about
•
the dual effects of AIDS on the doset•
leading some gay men to come out more
•
publicly, while driving others deeper into
•
their closets. Nungesser's and Shands's : books are each the result of detailed in•
terviews with persons who have AI DS or
•
AIDS-related complex (or who have been
•
affected by the disease in some other
•
way). In Nungesser's book, one respon•
dent observes: " ... coming out with
•
AIDS is similar to coming out of the
•
closet as a gay person: a lot of question•
ing, a lot of trying to find your iden•
tity .... It's like crawling-starting out in
•
diapers and then crawling, then standing
•
up, then taking your first step, and it's
•
very similar, I think, to what people go
•
through coming out."
21
Rep Report
Two New Reconciling Congregations
The month of May brought two new Reconciling Congregations to our growing network. As you will read in the paragraphs below, Wilshire UMC (Los Angeles) and First UMC (Oneonta, New York) are two distinctive communities which add increased diversity to our movement. They also bring the distinction of being the two Reconciling Congregations with the largest membership. These two new churches bring the total number of Reconciling Congregations to 40.
Wilshire UMC
(Los Angeles)
Wilshire is a large, 1,000-member urban parish comprised of diverse ethnic groups. A primary mission of the congregation is to provide worship and education opportunities in the different languages spoken by its members. Worship and education classes are held in Korean , Spanish, and English languages. The congregation has recently begun a worship service for Tagalog-speaking people (a Filipino language).
A history of being an inclusive church helped prepare the congrega-
Open Hands Wins Awards
We are proud to announce that Open Hands received two prestigious awards from the Associated Church Press at its May convention.
The "Living and Loving with AIDS" issue of Open Hands (Summer 1<)88) received an Award of Merit for best "in-depth coverage of a current issue." In the category of "general excellence," Open Hands was one of two magazines to receive honorable mention. In both categories Open Hands was rated alongside other magazines with fewer than 10.000 subscribers.
22
o
tion for becoming a Reconciling
Congregation. At the same time, its o
diverse ethnic and racial composition
o
generated discussions about attitudes : toward homosexuality in different o
cultures. Another important aspect of this
o
congregation's life has been its in-
o
volvement in music and the arts. In
o
addition to its own music/arts pro-
o
gram, the congregation provides
o
space for other community groups,
o
including the Gay Men's Chorus of
o
Los Angeles. The current congregation is the
o
product of several mergers. It has
o
been located on its current site since
o
the 1930s.
o
First UMC
o
(Oneonta, New York)
Oneonta is a small city in eastern
o
New York state which is home to two
o
colleges. Initially a railroad town,
o
Oneonta witnessed the development
o
of several major corporations in its
o
vicinity. The resulting accumulation
o
of financial wealth is unusual for
o
such a small community. First UMC is a congregation of
o
750 members which, after a period
o
of membership loss in the 1960s and
o
1970s, is discovering renewed energy
o
in its life and mission. Much of its
o
ministry is directed toward those who
The Associated Church Press is an association of over 175 religious newspapers and magazines in the United States and Canada. Its annual Award of Merit program is the most coveted award in religious print journalism.
We applaud the many persons who have volunteered for the various tasks and roles needed to produce and promote this award-winning magazine over the past four years. Together we share the joy of these awards.
o
have been estranged from the church
and society. The congregation main-o
tains an active campus ministry and
o
a strong educational program for all
o
ages. The congregation provides fio
nancial assistance in the form of
o
grants to smaller, rural churches.
o
The congregation also provides pro-
o
grams for children with handicapping
o
conditions and other community
o
groups. The congregation's mission reaches
o
out beyond its local community. The
o
congregation supports a Zimbabwean
o
family whose father is training for
o
the pastorate. The process of becoming a Recon: ciling Congregation began at First
o
UMC a year ago with a study within
o
the Mission Committee. After a
o
series of worship services on recono
ciliation and alienation, the con-
o
gregation was invited to participate in : a four-week seminar with the Council o
on Ministries. This seminar resulted
o
in a written statement of reconciliao
tion which was presented to the Ado
ministrative Board.
o
Keynote Speakers for RCP
o
Convocation
I
Joan Martin and Arthur Brandeno
burg have agreed to be the keynote
o speakers at the national convocation
o of Reconciling Congregations. The
o convocation will be held February 16-18, 1990, in San Francisco. Joan Martin is co-director of the Church and World Institute at Temple University in Philadelphia. Prior to her work in campus ministry,
o Martin was director of the Justice for Women Program at the National Council of Churches and also served
Open Hands
i~
gs:.~'" ~ii-; ~";;;;E; ~.~:::.~~
Introducing A National Newspaper For Gay & Lesbian Christians..•
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Engaging Features & Columns
•
News from Gay Christian Groups -~-~~~
~."
~.... ,,,n'" '''' ... ~ . . V4b0-ChfUChIO'T!\8\(
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Newsbriefs / Calendar / Book Revie -~~ '\j jl
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as the pastor of congregations in Philadelphia and Wilmington, Delaware.
A graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary and ordained in the Presbyterian Church (V.S.A.), Martin is currently a Ph.D. candidate in Christian Social Ethics at Temple. V niversity. Highly regarded as a preacher, lecturer, and teacher, Martin has been a guest lecturer at Yale Divinity School and Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary and has taught at schools of Christian mission for Vnited Methodist Women.
Arthur Brandenburg is currently a district superintendent in the Eastern Pennsylvania Conference of the V nited Methodist Church. Prior to this, Brandenburg was senior pastor of Calvary VMC (a Reconciling Congregation) in Philadelphia for 12 years. With his innovative pastoral leadership, Calvary became a model of urban ministry.
After his graduation from Vnion Theological Seminary (New York), Brandenburg served as chaplain at Duke and Yale universities during the tumultuous 1950s and 1960s. In addition to graduate study at the V niversity of Chicago, Brandenburg
•
has traveled and studied extensively Spirit of the Lakes began as a
•
in Europe, Asia, and Africa. • small house church in May 1988, Joan Martin and Arthur Branden• comprised of 10-12 persons from All
•
burg bring a combination of skills in • God's Children MCC in Minnea: biblical/theological analysis and local : polis. Its initial purpose was to create
•
church ministry to the RCP convoca-• a safe place for worship and spiritual
•
tion. As the keynote team, they will • growth for lesbians and gay men
•
lead three plenary sessions on the • with a liberal theological perspective.
•
convocation theme--':'Renewing the From the time it opened its ser•
Vision: Parables of Hospitality, Heal• vices and programs to the general : ing, and Hope." They will guide con-: public the following September,
•
vocation participants in reflection • Spirit of the Lakes was an inten•
and study to ground this reconciling • tionally inclusive community. Over
•
movement in the biblical witness. • the succeeding months, attendance in To assist you in planning your par• worship grew dramatically to 100-125
•
ticipation in the convocation, regis-• persons by the spring of 1989. When : tration information will be available : Spirit of the Lakes began seeking
•
in September. • denominational affiliation several
• months ago, the V CC conference
· Gay/Lesbian Congregation : minister took the initiative to invite · Admitted to UCC Denomination: Spirit of the Lakes to join the VCC.
• In early June the covenanting service In what is regarded as a historical • between Spirit of the Lakes and the
•
first, the Eastern Association of the
· V CC association brought together
•
Minnesota Conference of the V nited
• 200 persons to celebrate this historic
•
Church of Christ (VCC) voted on
• event.
•
April 22 to accept the Spirit of the
•
Lakes Ecumenical Community · Thanks for Your Support
•
Church as a "developing church."
Our April appeal for funds to
•
This is the first step for a new con•
erase a financial deficit for Open
•
gregation to become a fuJI member
• Hands and the Reconciling Con: of that denomination.
• gregation Program has produced a
23 Summer 1989
generous response from our friends.
By the end of Jnne, 120 persons had
contributed over $4,200 to support
our ministry. In addition to one-time
gifts, several persons pledged regular
contributions over the next year. We
are most grateful for these signs of
support for this ministry. The Reconciling
Congregation Program and
Open Hands receive no national
denominational support and are dependent
primarily on contributions
from congregations and friends. If
you wanted to make a contribution
but did not have the resources to do
so, remember that your support is 'needed and most welcome at any
time. Shalom!
Reconciling Congregations
Metropolitan·Duane UMC c/o Trudy Grove 201 W. 13th Street New York, NY lOOn
Washington Square UMC c/o PJ. Leopold.Trump 135 W. 4th Street New York, NY 10012
Park Slope UMC c/o Beth Bentley 6th Avenue & 8th Street Brooklyn, NY 11215
First UMC c/o Bill Bouton 66 Chestnut Street Oneonta, NY 13820
Calvary UMC c/o Chip Coffman 815 S. 48th Street Philadelphia, PA 19143 Dumbarton UMC c/o Ann Thompson Cook 3133 Dumbarton Avenue,
NW
Washington, DC 20007 Christ UMC c/o Chuck Kimble 4th and I Streets, SW Washington, DC 20024
St. John's UMC c/o Barbara Larcom 2705 St. Paul Street Baltimore, MD 21218
Grant Park·Aldersgate
UMC c/o Sally Daniel 575 Boulevard, SE Atlanta, GA 30312
Edgehill UMC c/o Hoyt Hickman 1502 Edgehill Avenue Nashville, TN 37212
Reach
for the
Light!
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shinC'& forth the light of hope for all God's people. I want:
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The Other Side
300 W. Apsley Street, Philadelphia. Pa. 19144
Central UMC c/o Chuck Larkins 701 W. Central at
Scottwood Toledo, OH 43610
Wesley UMC c/o John Human 823 Union Avenue Sheboygan, WI 53081
University UMC c/o Steven Webster 1127 University Avenue Madison, WI 53715
Wesley UMC c/o Patchwork Committee 101 E. Grant Street Minneapolis, MN 55403
Walker Community UMC c/o Debra Keefer 3104 16th Avenue Minneapolis, MN 55407
University UMC c/o Dave Schmidt 633 W. locust DeKalb, IL 6O115
Wheadon UMC c/o Albert Lunde 2212 Ridge Avenue Evanston, IL 60201
Euclid UMC c/o Alan Tuckey 405 S. Euclid Avenue Oak Park, IL 60302
Albany Park UMC c/o Reconciling Committee 3100 W. Wilson Avenue Chicago, IL 60625
United Church of Rogers Park c/o Sally Baker/Paul
Chapman 1545 W. Morse Avenue Chicago, IL 60626
Irving Park UMC c/o David Foster 3801 N. Keeler Avenue Chicago, IL 60641
Kairos UMC c/o Richard Vogel 6015 McGee Kansas City, MO 64113
St. Mark's UMC c/o David Schwarz 1130 N. Rampart Street New Orleans, LA 70116
St. Paul's UMC c/o Jeanne Knepper 1615 Ogden Street Denver, CO 80218
St. Francis in the
Foothills UMC c/o Christiane Heyde 4625 E. River Road Tucson, AZ 85718
United University Church c/o Edgar Welty 817 W. 34th Street Los Angeles, CA 90007
Wilshire UMC c/o Bob Ficklin 4350 Wilshire Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90010
Crescent Heights UMC c/o Walter Schlosser 1296 N. Fairfax Avenue
W. Hollywood, CA 90046 The Church in Ocean Park c/o Judy Abdo
235 Hill Street Santa Monica, CA 90405
Wesley UMC c/o Della Campbell 1343 E. Barstow Avenue Fresno, CA 93710 Hamilton UMC c/o Judy Kreige 1525 Waller Street San Francisco, CA 94109
Bethany UMC c/o Rick Grube 1268 Sanchez Street San Francisco, CA 94114
Trinity UMC c/o Arron Auger. 152 Church Street San Francisco. CA 94114
Calvary UMC c/o Jerry Brown 1400 Judah Street San Francisco, CA 94122
Trinity UMC c/o Elli Norris 2362 Bancroft Way Berkeley, CA 94704
Albany UMC c/o Jim Scurlock 980 Stannage Albany, CA 94706
Sunnyhills UMC c/o Cliveden Chew Haas 335 Dixon Road Milpitas, CA 95035
St. Paul's UMC c/o Darrell Wilson 101 West Street Vacaville, CA 95688
Wallingford UMC c/o Margarita Will 2115 N . 42nd Street Seattle, WA 98103
Capitol Hill UMC c/o Mary Dougherty 128 Sixteenth Street Seattle, WA 98112
Reconciling Conferences
California·Nevada New York Northern Illinois Troy Wyoming
Open Hands 24